20 Episode results for "Berman Dot"

 The Jeffrey Epstein scandal

Today in Focus

30:34 min | 1 year ago

The Jeffrey Epstein scandal

"Today the scandal engulfing Jeffrey Epstein the financier who was known for partying with the rich and famous after a judge ruled that granting him bail would pose a danger to society and the Guardians Editor Chakraborty on the price we pay the billionaire philanthropy. Jeffrey Epstein was one of those wealthy man who seemed to know everybody Bill Clinton Donald Trump Prince Andrew Woody Allen Kevin Spacey the list goes on and on Epstein Three his friends dinner parties at his New York mansion flew them on his private plane plane on hosted the on his private island now he's behind vase on Thursday. A New York judge ruled Epstein would not be granted bail after he was charged with sex trafficking in a case that spans decades reportedly tiddly involves hundreds of underage girls reports Vicky Ward was in a courtroom earlier this week when one of Epstein's accuses any farmer testified against him while it was kind of electric in there to watch her stand stand up and explain to judge Berman Dot Jeffrey Epstein had been sexually inappropriate with her at the age of sixteen and that it was her strong opinion that Jeffrey Epstein should not be given bail. There was another shocking moment at the hearing I think the other extraordinary that case where the lawyers for the government announced that they had found a Jeffrey Epstein's New York House the old passport with his face order but with a foreign name at registered to Saudi Arabia they also fired dozens of diamonds and piles of cash from the Guardian. I'm a niche Gristana a today in Focus Will Jeffrey Epstein's accuses finally get justice. It's a cliche but he was a Jay Gatsby type figure one do where his buddy came from reporter Vicki. Would I cross paths with Jeffrey Epstein when she was assigned to profile him for Vanity Fair magazine in two thousand and two he had extraordinary rolodex Preside Dri Bill Clinton Donald Trump lots of Nobel prize where they academics the lawyer Alan Dershowitz they would all go to his house and at the same time so to what these very young women add that was the northern whig p people said to be will who knows what goes order jeffries personal life it was just sort would've accepted that there were these very young very attractive women at his party's an epson declined to be interviewed for your profile at the time so Jeffrey seed had never been exposed to a bag zied profile any kind of media profile. Oh really before quite deliberately so he was very aggressive in the way he handled me right for the job at that. I phoned his officers and said are going to be doing this profile. Basically whether do you participate or not. It wouldn't speak with you on the record but he did want you to see his house. What was it like? I think that you see when you come into this hallway. You have this enormous sculpture Tara over. Have you tyrod. There're all these eyeballs that he said were made for wounded. Soldiers at the war is quite irving. He took me up to what most people would consider that a living room. He called it office. It was what book left out by the bulky to saw there was a stuffed poodle black stuff poodle at the top of the ground piano and he said you know. I have that out here because I want people to think what it needs stuff. A dog is proudly told me that the the Persian carpet was so big it must have come from BOSC. You know the way he bragged about. His possessions was very crass us and quite unusual for people who have a lot of money in this town. What was his kind of early career? I mean you were reporting on his finances dino how he got so rich. How he claims labs he got so rich is just not true? It doesn't make any sense this those should that he put out that he's a body Badger two unnamed billionaires from whom he takes a cut the reason that makes no. I said is that people who run hedge funds who trade leave a footprint in the markets knowing that the hedge fund world ever heard of Jeffrey Epstein he was chucked out a bastards. You know we now know from all the indictments over the last two decades that he spent a large amount of his time getting message is from women some of whom were underage so where would the hours the day to dirty work. The whole bag is still really a great mystery. I mean it sounds like a house of cards. As I discovered borbor he he did go on to be med tooled by a band named Steve Offered Berg who I went to beat with a jail seve bag went to prison in the nineteen ninety s for Boston by dig what was that the largest Pudsey skied and American history pre body Beta of now early had I met it was Steve Hoffenberg who had a lot to say I'd also God had got hold of a lot of these depositions and I think that that was the first time anybody had ever done that and I'd had got these two sisters who you were on the record as was their brother who claimed that he had molested there. What are the what she was already sixty addy faubus who went on the record at the Cote he he he had nasty ad that's what he wanted to see a Greg Carter the editor? I guess to make his case to be one of the fact checkers wrote to be. Oh by God there is Jeffrey Epstein. It Grades Office right now as we speak. Is that why those details didn't make it into the final piece. All I know is that great told Homema- that he believed Jeffrey because he was Canadian which seemed a bit of a non sequitur ad I was then told that she by line editor let the piece was stronger as a financial peace so they cut out what you had threaten yeah. How did you feel when that was cut out of your piece? I busted Tis the middle of the office which is not something I make a habit of but I felt that they had been so brave that we'd really nailed it. We'd we had the proof they were on the record. I thought it was preposterous really preposterous. I went back to them and I asked them what they would do. Ad They said head well. This is exactly what we were afraid of that Jeffrey Epstein's buddy at it fluids it. Oh speaks louder that we do no one will believe us so they wanted to to drop it at ided blazed. It wasn't just the farmers other girls and young women continue to make allegations since against Epstein in two thousand and six authorities began investigating and he served a short jail sentence but the details were murky in the voices of the victims were not heard until in two thousand seventeen Miami Herald reporter go to Judy Brown tracked down epsteins accuses and interviewed them. They all told very similar stories. I remember there was a staircase kind of like a spiral almost and she brings us up the the stairs. Spiral stairs walked into his bedroom to very little hall and then it was another door and that's where everything would happen. He would have a dresser and it was filled with lotion and sex toys and then he came even with the white towel on and then he just laid down in his towel on his stomach and he was just talking to people on the phone when he flip flipped over that's when he said okay you can go ahead and take off your shirt and pants but you can stay in your underwear he would want us to stand next to him and he would masturbate while he stared at US touched us it ended with sexual abuse and intercourse and then a pat on the back. You've done a really good job like you know. Thank you very much and here's two hundred dollars you know before you know it on being lint out to politicians and academics and people that ah you royalty once described how Epstein deliberately preyed on girls who are homeless or otherwise vulnerable he allegedly paid some of them to recruit others building a network of victims to exploit the thing that had sparked Brown's interest in the case was Donald Trump's appointment of Alexander a coster as Labor secretary the same man who was involved in the original prosecution as Florida Attorney General. <music> at Pilkington your chief portrait Guardian U._S. and you've been following this story. It was still a lot of secrecy around the plea deal that a coster had arranged with Epstein as a result of Brown's reporting. We now know much more about it. What were the details? If the Dale well the details are pretty shocking negotiated between two thousand seven two thousand eight and actually the deal was reached in two thousand and eight and as you say this Guy Alexandra Kosta he was head of the federal prosecutors is in Florida and in this case a Kosta reached a deal that was really shockingly lenient people call a sweetheart deal because it was sort of so sweet for Epstein and those two elements of that were particularly shocking one involved an amnesty for Epstein himself and for any of his co conspirators. We don't know the actual names of the people they were thinking about but it was plural co conspirators plural and it said that they essentially no longer to be prosecuted by the feds and we know that by that time the F._B._i.. Had Been Investigating Jeffrey Epstein for at least a year and they had actually a draft indictment together which was fifty three pages long and involved at least thirty five mainly underage girls so they basically had the wraps on this guy and yet they gave him immunity from prosecution and the other thing that shot people even more was they they reach this deal in secret and by secret I particularly mean that they didn't tell any of the victims or their families about what they were about to do which was to drop all the federal charge indictment against Epstein on and his co-conspirators and instead go for too much lesser week charges brought by the State of Florida and those charges had Epstein soliciting prostitutes now you have to think about that for a minute they were calling underage girls prostitutes which in itself is deeply offensive and actually you cannot be a prostitute. If you're underage you can be sexually assaulted. You can be raped but you cannot be a prostitute of your underage. Absolutely Eh. A costume name is very familiar to us. Now I mean who was hey at the time he was this top U._S.. Prosecutor in Florida after that he went on to be nominated by President trump as his Labor Sek tree trey and that's a very powerful job within the federal government. How is the deal reached what we know from incredible journalistic work done by Miami Herald? Was that a team of U._S.. Prosecutors and a team of Jeffrey Epstein's CNN's crack lawyers led by Alan Dershowitz and including Ken Starr. You may remember Ken Starr. He happened to be the guy who went after Bill Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair. You've got a very scary team team of lawyers businesses basically bully people into accepting deals at are favorable to their clients but on the other side you had the federal prosecutors led by Alexandra Kosta and his team of prosecutors and Mima Herald got hold of sort of emails between the two parties and federal prosecutors are incredibly chummy languages like language of mates and the kind of bend over backwoods to try and help Jeffrey Epstein basically when they come to the plea deal say well. Let's bring it in Miami and not in Palm Beach where Jeffrey Epstein had his mansion house because that way the media won't notice and they'll be less press coverage and that that was a prosecutor saying it so there is a kind of bad smell around the whole thing really in terms of just how cozy was some say Jeffrey Epstein got off easy when he agreed to a plea deal that left him in jail for thirteen months today a cost when he tried to save his job as labor secretary last week he gave a big press conference and he claimed that he he did everything he did. In order to get Jeffrey Epstein behind bars ause in two thousand six at grand jury recommended a single charge and that charge whatever resulted in no jail time at all no registration as a sexual offender and no restitution to the victims. He said it was everything you could possibly do. This was the best deal he could possibly reach. These cases of. I said are hard. I mean what happened. As a result he went in on an eighteen month sentence. He served thirteen of those months and during those thirteen months we know that six days out of seven he came out of the gates of the jail he was met by his driver in an very nice limousine and he was driven to his plush luxurious business offices where he spent. In twelve hours of the day it left a lot of bad taste in the mouth thing for a lot of people about what exactly had gone here no of course not least for the victims and their families the first they knew of this deal because it had been done in secret secret was that they read it in the papers. The secrecy of it I think was one of the things that did for customer. In the end because justice February he and his prosecutorial team were found by federal drew judge to have acted illegally a federal judge in Florida has ruled prosecutors including current Labor Secretary Alex Acosta violated federal law when they reached a plea agreement in two thousand seven with financier and sex offender Jeffrey Epstein all the judge says they also failed to inform dozens of his victims because by failing to tell victims what they were doing and coming up this sweetheart deal they had broken the law that exists which obliges prosecutors accusers to inform victims of what they're doing so that victims in advance of the deal being finalized can have their say and say now. I don't approve of this. I don't think this is right and yet one of the reasons they kept it. Secret one assumes is he's in order to deprive victims of that opportunity and also to keep the press away along came the Miami Herald and it's incredible intrepid reporter Julie Brown who began investigating in two thousand and seventeen after Kosta was confirmed affirmed Labor Secretary as I administered the oath of office to the Twenty Seventh Secretary of Labor for the United States of America Alexander Acosta kind of drew her attention attention to the story she just followed her instincts. She started investigating it and she started finding the victims and she eventually by the time she'd finished she published in November twenty eighteen she it managed to find about eighty eight zero victims many many of whom were underage at the time and she persuaded to them to tell their stories and that's what really blew the guest on this whole thing and basically lost to Costa's his job in the meantime team went to jail what happened when he was released in two thousand and nine so yeah he came out of prison in two thousand nine and just took took his life as before we now know just carried on carried on with I mean carried on hanging out with his famous associates. Certainly no he carried on hang out with his rich and powerful chums on his private jet hang out on his island in New Mexico and is mentioned in New York rich and powerful friends who included gasoline maxwell the daughter of the disgrace media tycoon from Britain who some say was a procure of girls for him. Allegedly there was Prince Andrew who he'd been friendly with for a while and we know that Prince Andrew attended a dinner with Epstein in two thousand and ten a year after you come out of jail and in two thousand fifteen prince Andrew was embroiled in more controversy when one of Epstein's accuser's claim that she was forced to have sex with Andrea when she was seventeen a charge he vehemently denies Britain's Prince Andrew's been named in an ongoing lawsuit in America and accused of having sex with a minor during meetings organized by former Wall Street Wizard Jeffrey Epstein those claims emerged because in the intervening years Epstein faced several civil lawsuits he was able to use his wealth to settle a number of cases and it wasn't until this year that things really changed as evidence collected made way the criminal charges when the southern district of New York prosecutors went to pick him up about ten days ago they raided his New York mansion and they found lots of underaged photographs and stuff on his computers and also a chilling detail struck me they also found the massage room in his New York mansion set up in exactly the same way as it had been fifteen years ago. We don't know whether he's been using it so let's be clear about that but just the idea that he came out and was a reformed character. After thirteen months hanging <music> out all day long in his luxury offices the idea that he came out to different person is pretty implausible earlier this month prosecutors from the southern district of New York announced a slew of New Charges Against Epstein Good Morning Jeff Berman United States attorney for the southern district of New York. Today we announced the unsealing of sex trafficking charges against Jeffrey Epstein the charges. Charges Allege that Epstein sexually abused young girls by enticing them to engage in sex acts for money. That's how these charges different from. The original charges filed in Florida the S._D._N.. Why have gone four sex trafficking indictments? One is a sex trafficking conspiracy and the other is that just pure sex trafficking network and I just think the language of that compared with soliciting prostitutes suggests that they're taking this <unk> finally taking this seriously and sex trafficking is sort of hold all expression that allows you to pack in a number of different crimes and is kind of basically can allow them to to go wherever they I feel like go wherever their investigation takes them. It's interesting because trumpers associated himself with a number of people who we would think were unsavory. Perhaps but not Epstein. He has tried to distance himself from him despite them having having a relationship in the past I mean what do we know about their relationship. Well we know that trump has praised him in the past he called him a terrific guy and he actually referred to Epstein having wonderful social life including a lot of younger women mint hanging out with him Palm Beach where trump has a major base was also one of Epstein's main hang outs with mansion house in Palm Beach and that's where a lot of the alleged sex crimes took place. One of the stories that have emerged is is that in one thousand nine hundred ninety two calendar girl competition was arranged at trump's request apparently in which some twenty eight women were flown into mar-a-lago and the person who's asked to organize the event was extremely surprised to find that the only two people in the audience for that calendar girl event were going to be Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump now since they had a falling out at a time around. I think around two thousand five two thousand six. We don't don't know what specifically happened around that falling out and since then trump has been very active trying to push epstein away from himself including since Epstein's arrest he says we don't get on. I don't like the guy he's not my Kinda a guy. You know he's been saying all those trump things anybody else guy well. I knew him like everybody in Palm Beach Noam. I had a falling out with them a long time ago. I don't think I've spoken to him for fifteen ears. I wasn't a fan I was not a fan of his that I can tell you I was not a fan of his so so he tried to put as much space between himself and Epstein as possible but you know trump did have a social relationship with Epstein a tape in the N._B._C. Archives of mar-a-lago Party shows trump giving epstein his personal attention and that's going to continue. I think to cause him trouble whereas Epstein Right now so Epstein is in a central federal jail in New York of course he's pleaded not guilty to the charges and at this stage everything that's said against him is at the state of allegations and if he's convicted he could face up to forty five years in prison yes at the age of sixty six. I will bring him up to the age of hundred nine by my math so yes. He's in quite a lot of legal peril at the moment <music> Vicki. Do you wish done anything differently in two thousand and two. I don't know what else I could have done. I felt I reported. I had the reporting rock solid college. I asked Maria Anne and their mother Janice what shall we do now and and they didn't want to get involved. Do you think the farmers have been able to find the voice because of the metoo movement yes well. I think not just the metoo movement but I think that I think that the fact that Jeffrey Epstein is now you obviously in a strictly a different position than he was all those years ago. I think that they feel that for the first time be taken seriously. Where does it end what needs to happen next? Well you know I think this this this global actually in what way well I think. It's you know the very fact that they found that foreign passport. We've already had in two thousand fifteen. You had a French model agency owner. I WANNA bring a case against him because he felt his reputation was being tarnished by association with Jeffrey Epstein the fact that Jeffrey at steed has go to first groff of the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia in his house on his known to be given. Financial advice whatever that means to various potentates in the Middle East and the fact that the people the web of people around him are so influential when somebody like Jeffrey Epstein is in this kind of trouble trouble he is. That's when that's when influential people <hes> stocked protect themselves by that I mean that may start to talk about what really went on Vicky. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me that was Vicky would and Ed Pilkington. Do you follow this story at the Guardian Dot Com coming up how charity works for Notre. Dame's mega donors now around the world cultural landmarks are increasingly dependent on the deep pockets of the super rich and for the Guardians of duty Chakraborty these charitable charitable donations Alaska if and more take cost your mind back to mid April the New Sunday comes in one one of the world's most ancient and holy buildings the Notre Dame cathedral has gone up in flames and for once in these divided times devoted unified by horror at what they see the adjectives rain down it is atrocious. It's terrible it is diabolical and then within hours but the flames barely out some rich people in France are coming forward wave offers to help rebuild this piece of world heritage so you get the all know family on Oh is the richest man in Europe coming forward and I put down one hundred million euros and then not to be outdone you get the Pino family coming forward and they do two hundred and then you get the various families and foundations and Laurie Al and they come forward of two hundred which on one hand is this magnificent gesture and on the other hand obscene raises some questions why the professional malcontents like me also the time why duties plutocratic piety <hes> have to be so earnestly press released why when there are nearly four thousand rough sleepers on the streets of Paris why can roof be found for church but not for humans anyway the front pages have failed and then the world moves on and what happens next is worth thinking about it turns out that the super rich <unk> donors who put their press releases out had been somewhat slower checks in mid-june most of the money so far had come in much humblest comes from people who much poorer now as Tom's gum by there has been a little bit the money from the all knows and peanuts but no in need of all sums that were promised back in April there were four charities which coordinate eight the sums given to notch. Tom and one of the charity executive says well the big donors are waiting to see the government's vision for the rebuilding of Notre Dame and when they see division they'll decide what fund now as it happens happens in any big rebuilding project often massive disaster like the notch Tom Inferno. There's always a massive cleanup that needs to be done. Huge amount of grunt work and at the moment is one hundred fifty workers who need their salaries paid but as one inefficient was points out rich people they want their money to go and poor people salaries because after all how photogenic are the laboring classes what Plock is going to go by where bunch of lead contamination was cleaned up no they would not rav one might speculate donate tools the basilica as brought to you by Gucci or even a nave brought to you by Laurie Owl because Jesus is worth it the point tease this epic pick generosity nearly always hides a much harder bargain the super-rich Gif but they also take they give money but they take power versus society. They get to say which bitter the blueprint they like or don't like they don't hand over the money without any conditions. My solid bet is so much poor individuals have handed over the money with no questions asked and that is the way charity works most famous but not the really top levels so that was a duty Chakraborty my thanks to him and to Vicky Ward and Ed Pilkington. That's all for today. This episode was produced by mightily row and Courtney Yousef. Sound design was by Axel Kukuchi the executive producers.

Jeffrey Epstein Florida President trump New York Miami Herald Alexandra Kosta reporter Jeffrey seed secretary Bill Clinton Vicky Ward Bill Clinton Donald Trump Jeffrey Saudi Arabia Alan Dershowitz epsteins US
#hottakeoftheday podcast Episode 54 w/Art Berman


57:58 min | 8 months ago

#hottakeoftheday podcast Episode 54 w/Art Berman

"What is going on heartache nation? It is w here and this is show I have been looking forward to. Since my brief interlude on twitter, and I will admit that even though I don't have a twitter account anymore. There's one person I go and check every day and that is our guest today. Art Berman Art. Welcome to the show so good to have you. It's good to be here David. Thanks for inviting me so I mean you're a legend, and and you pump out some of the the most technical analysis that I see on twitter and use your real name, and you have the website you have the subscription, and you've really in my opinion you. Kinda of called going into two thousand twenty, certainly on the oil side that there was a lot of oil out there and you were. You were very skeptical of prices in the fifties at the time. If I recall correctly is that a fair characterization has how you viewed the world in January. Yeah that's right. I mean basically the the world has been on OPEC plus life support for. January for three years, and and so when you're when patients on life support, and he or she seems to be doing well. Vital signs are good and all of that well, that's great, but you know what what would happen if if the patient decided to get up and leave lost that well, not so good. And so that's that's something that that people in general and certainly a lot of people in the oil business. Just forget you know they. They think everything is fine, and they just somehow ignore the fact that OPEC, plus was withholding almost two million barrels a day for three years, and and so when things happened like the Saudi refinery at Ghawar was attacked and oil prices went up. You know little. Little bit for a couple of days and then went back down. People were saying you know what the Heck I mean. This is crazy melania on it. Because the markets smart in the market knows that there's a lot of extra supply out there, there's just not being used, and so it freaked out a little bit, but you know that's that's just price discovery, and that's another thing that if people. People get this idea that the market has it wrong. when something happens, you know like price goes up a lot for a couple of days. Then goes down now. That's just price discovery. What price discovery is is. Let's see if there's a fool on the other side of the trade who actually thinks that? Because this refinery was attacked that oil prices are going to go to one hundred fifty dollars. Maybe maybe I shouldn't say it's a fool, but you know that's the way. The guy on the other side of the trade looks at it and sure enough. They found enough guys out there. Who believe that at the price went up for a couple of days, but those guys got wise, and everybody else said now we're not worried and so the price went back down. So you know the idea that the market gets it wrong. you know WHO's the market? I mean the markets you, the markets me markets, everybody who's listening, it's the collective. Knowledge and understanding and yeah, we get things wrong from time to time, but just because the market values prices oil higher than I. Think it should be doesn't mean the market's wrong. Doing what markets do, it's figuring out. What price are people actually willing to pay for charitable? So so it's? It's interesting because you know certainly I one hundred percent agree with you that that the subsidies of OPEC the writer for the wrong and obviously oil producers to the extent, they thought about supply demand. They sort of had a view that Saudi was always going to back off oil production. The US was going to grow we. We're going to grow our way out of debt, and for a variety of reasons cova debt, etc, that thesis blew up and I saw some work on the. Late week that you did, and then you started talking about mean reversion and one of the things I really like about your process is that the statistics you come in to with with net longs and net shorts, and and some of the data flow to Kinda really pinned down supply and what you're thinking. How did you come up with that? Because I haven't seen anyone else really doing it and and how? Meaningful is in a world that the Fed is injecting liquidity and people are looking for assets to buy in crude is an asset. So how does how does all of that factor into your analysis and your conclusions? I wish I could give you a link to answer, and you know I. I don't know I. Just look at everything I mean. I'm one person I. Don't have a staff. and I tried look I mean obviously I. Don't look at every single thing, but I look at everything that over my forty plus years in this business. I've learned are important and you know. Sometimes I miss stuff sometimes i. Decide for some reason bias, probably that well I. Don't really need to take a look at you know what are. You know Gulf Coast Pab. Three comparative inventories this week, because clearly something, and then I look at it a few weeks later now, my God. Why didn't I do that because I I, but but the point is that. there. There's no there's no silver bullet. I mean there's no single thing or small group of things that I look at that. Tell me what's happening in in the market I mean it's A. It's as complex as the human mind, and and it's only by by grading lots and lots of pieces, and Oh, by the way listening to what other people think I'm on twitter. obviously partially to advertise myself to some extent, but more importantly to find out what other people are thinking and there's. People that come from completely different experiences, refiners, oil traders, and you know God knows journalists, and not that I, believe everything they're saying, but I listened to it and I say well, that makes sense, or at doesn't make that so looking at things like you know like long and short positions on manage money. You know that's that's an interesting thing to look at. It's always a week in rear, so you have to process that through by itself. What does that say well? You know sometimes a lot sometimes little, and ultimately I have to I have to process that I mean like just looking at net long positions for instance the belongs minus the shorts. Well, you know you have to normalize that or how much open interest there is. You know I mean if you're looking at any significant time period. How many contracts are out there? So if they're you know? Know, let's say they were you know three times as many contracts in two thousand eighteen, as there are today, and you know that members not exact. There were a whole lot more. We got normalized that open entrance that that that net long to the fact that there's a whole lot fewer people holding contracts today and let me do all that. Certain things emerged, but by far the. The tool that I use the most for calibration is comparative inventory, and that's just looking at current storage levels compared to the five-year average in. You would think that that's a pretty straightforward simple thing to do that. Everybody would do, but they don't. Don't ask me why. I'm like the only person at least publicly that puts that information out there and if you look at. The. Website they always show you know what the five year average is for gas for oil, but Just aren't a heck of a lot of people I. I don't think I do anything other than say Oh okay, we're higher were lower. Whatever, but that's a a hugely. It's the most important. Single tool I have again. It's not a silver bullet, but it's a great way of sort of leveling or equalizing all these dozens or hundreds of other factors I consider so before we pivot to talking more natural gas because you know I really like in for the listeners who who don't follow art at Art Berman Dot Com I really suggest that you do and certainly follow him on. Link dimmed because. His his articles that he comes out, within is probably once once a week once every two weeks, but but they're really. They're really thoughtful and insightful, and they sorta summarize the data position and I one of them about a month and a half ago was sort of like oil is dead kind of and I think on, that I can't remember the exact title, but but you and I are I. Think very much aligned in terms of the US oil industry, the end of OPEC and the amount of storage that there is has a significant. Significant dampening effect on oil, one of the things that that I had sort of perceived would happen as associated gas alongside the four million barrels a day of oil, that I think declines in the next year year and a half that takes fifteen to twenty day off the market. You don't have strong prompt month pricing to be able to support a significant drilling and so firm transport. Aside it looked like gas was gonNA come down twenty cf day ish, maybe rebalance the market in in an electricity, neutral world and you. You really didn't agree. With that thesis and came out with something about natural gas sort of like the Bulls are wrong, I'm, let's talk about your natural gas thesis and and how? It differs from the market, which really ran natural gas players up from March until recently on this bowl gas thesis and they were so wrong. The. Gas prices last week were. Lower than they've ever been. We were down to a dollar fifty per M Btu and That's you know I mean. I haven't done the you know the CPI adjustment, but I mean that's that's the lowest prices of been at least since back in the nineteen nineties. So now why? Why is that because and again I think that the real thing and natural gas I. I was I'm a natural gas bowl in the twelve to eighteen month period. Certainly not now and then. There's a company Valuation Company leverage like what is the like? How do you play it? So I wasn't surprised in the short term, but I really didn't expect a buck forty eight, and then even more confusing to me is like twelve months out. It's two fifty. In terms of the Strip. Right well, so the I mean your logic. About associated gas from title, going down is airtight, and there's no problem there. The problem is that that's just one piece of the story. And so you gotta look at. Consumption And you have to look at demand and and so demand. Nieto's is different than consumption, because demand is consumption plus net exports. And also some movements in and out of storage, but so the US is exporting. Nine BC after day right now or well, as of recently, today is is is less but. But that's that's ultimately part of our supply and all of those export approvals are conditional. On the Department of Energy Saying you know this doesn't in any way threatened the you know the well being and security of the United. States I'm not suggesting that they're going to pull those approvals, but but the other part of all this is that natural gas demand in price in the world is way down. And, so I mean the price in Europe is like ten cents more than the Henry Hub spot price in the united. States, let doesn't come close to covering transport costs and liquefaction costs, and all of that, so overseas buyers or cancelling contracts on LNG right and left in so suddenly a whole bunch of that. Day is now available for domestic consumption. I mean the market's flooded with with with natural gas. The consumption side okay so. So. Production goes down, but what about consumption? While mean we're? We're in a depression right now. So should it surprise anyone that we're going to consume? Less gas doesn't surprise me. What about whether? We had one of the coolest maize on record which means that people weren't using air conditioning very much, and so you know you put all those pieces together, and in which ended up with was less than a dollar fifty per MCI ethanol gas bowls or saying. WHAT THE HECK! How did that happen? Well, you know like you said I I wasn't calling. It I was just saying this is the reality. And and then, and then you know I go through the process of saying well I. Don't believe anybody's forecasts, but let's just take EIA's. Consumption and production forecast run it forward and seasonally adjusted. You have to seasonally adjust gas because the you know. The highs and lows of of of consumption are just extreme. You know with winter and summer. And you go ahead and do that. And the answer is if you believe something as far out as twenty twenty one and I don't than we might have a little bit of a shortage right around the end of twenty twenty one, but again you know you've got all this. You don't know it was one is is the main thing, but got all this export that you could pull back if you assuming that it's even out there in that says to me I don't see a problem. It's really interesting, because because like hedging to me has come back and you've had a forty year career. I've had a twenty year career, so you saw sort of. If I do the math right? You were through the the downturn in the eighties, and and I'm curious if we start there, how do you compare and contrast what you think was going on in the eighties, and with the benefit of hindsight, and what's going on now? Because a lot of people would say well, this is our industry cyclical, and and you know in the eighties. It went down and then he came back, and everything was great, and now here we are well. What do you say to those people? Talking just about natural gas, let's go natural gas and oil. I think just as a as an industry well. Okay, so I mean. There's a human tendency. My first degree was in history There's a human tendency to always believe that what's happening right now is somehow completely different than what's ever happened before. And to add to that human beings are now uniquely capable of destroying the entire universe, which we were never capable of doing before, and if you go back all the way to you know to the earliest writings. If you go back to socrates, he said the same thing. You know the kids today. Don't respect their elders. Our education systems going down the toilet. Things have never been any worse. You know Cetera et Cetera so first of all. You have to discount your way through that and say ow. ow, that's that's just the arrogance. Human mine thinking that things are, we are the pinnacle and and so why why is the oil and gas cyclical? It's cyclical because producers are not very good at figuring out what the right amount of drilling and production his, and so if you give them a lot of money, so Melissa say there. In the nineteen seventies. We had some real serious natural gas shortages in the United States okay, so all of a sudden, there was a ton of money available. For drilling and we over Shaw Plus We. We discovered we could I don't know why we didn't know this before. Oh, by the way Canada's got a ton of gas. Why don't we import gas from Canada? And, so you know just at the time that we were building LNG import terminals like crazy. All of a sudden, we had too much gas in all. Does import terminals were shot and used for gas storage. Same thing happened in the early two thousands Oh my God running out of gas was to happen. Here come the LNG terminals again. Everybody's putting money into them. Shale gas came along LNG terminals are not doing anything close. Okay, so I mean in a way for natural gas. If you WANNA play the market, whatever the LNG Geyser doing, go the other way. They're always hundred and eighty degrees out of sync and so recently. LNG export has been the way an awful lot of the capital investor capital that was gone into the Permian Basin, and whatever moved over, and I mean fifteen billion dollars or something like that or put into a couple of new export terminals in Louisiana in the fourth quarter in the first quarter of this year. All of a sudden nobody wants the L. N. G.. you know so? I mean again. If you WANNA if you WANNA quick thumbnail look at with the L. N.. G. Guys are doing and do the opposite on the oil side. It's the same thing you know we had. We had the oil shocks of the nineteen seventies supply went down price from way up in our everybody's a genius. Hey, let's put a bunch of money in the oil business. You know we can't lose well. Eventually discovered the North Sea. We discovered a whole bunch oil in western Siberia. Mexico China all of a sudden. We got more than we know what to do. And the world was oversupplied for almost twenty years. So you know the cycles are not you know they're not some sort of You Know Planetary Wobble Malenkovich cycles or Voodoo. It got to do with human behavior. Mostly producer behavior give producers money, and they will spend it. Makes Sense or not I mean it's really interesting. Right because when you take that in the context of everything, and we talked about the efficiency of capitalism, and that the markets are so efficient, and you can deploy capital and opportunities in goes, but I remember the two thousand, my career, starting in two thousand and tech bursts, and same thing all these dollars and nothing ever nothing is ever destroyed slowly. It seems like same in two thousand eight everything goes along up a quarter percent today, for however long the bull market goes, and then when it comes down, it turns around incredibly quick, and that's and that's what happened in March so when you think about. All of the supply demand, and and the the national oil companies that control supply and OPEC control supply, and then the fragmentation of the US market, a lot of people on twitter, the F. T. Band who I'm sure you read, read sometimes for humor, and sometimes I don't even know sometimes i. Feel like self-flagellation but. They really are against shale and sort of the shale Ponzi scheme and reserve auditors, and and just a lot of commentary on that. How do you weigh in on the way? The US market evolved and what's next for energy in the US. Well markets don't. Don't always get things right, but one thing you can say about markets as they are ruthless. Okay and so if they think they get things wrong. when they correct man, they correct like crazy. Markets hate to pay too much for anything and and so. My sense is that. Everything, that's happening right now. With Kovin and everything is simply an acceleration of factors that were already there theser to use the cliche. These are all the cans that we've kicked down the road forever. The biggest one of course is bad. Any sort. You WanNa talk about. In any industry whatever? It, so if you keep solving your debt problems with more debt, you know the I mean eventually. It's GonNa. Come back and bite you in the ASS, but specifically to your question about about the shell companies and the SEC. I was just interviewed by. While woman at Bloomberg who just published an article on this and. She was surprised as this. My my favorite, my favorite Bloomberg author Adams Herd Yes, it is yeah I like her a lot. We I've chatted with her in the past two. She's great. She's A. She's a really perceptive person and. I think she gets it right a lot of the time, but she just published this last week, and she talked to all kinds of people and I think she. Probably you know talked to me. Last or near last for some reason and she said well. You know you're a big critic of. Tight oil and shale gas as well. No, I'm not a critic. I'm critic of the Economics. You know I'm not against the plays. I'm not against the company's, but the economics don't work. I'm going to say that. In for the most part, Babbitt worked very well now in fairness that can be said about the oil business and the natural gas businesses starkly I. mean the free cash flow is is almost never there, so you know, let's not discriminate again. We think that today is somehow different than before, but the truth is is that the oil and gas business has never returned law to investors, and and now is not different, so she asked me she said well, you know. Do you think like most of the people I interviewed that the SEC should have done something about this. Interview. Sorry about no, I love it this. This is the work from home culture now so. It's either a dog, barking or people asking questions. I'm surprised kidding. You'll get the dog before long, too. We got workman in the house. You know I told her I said look, you know. I've I've. I've been summoned by the SEC. I was on Larry. Kudlow show back in two thousand eleven back when he was. A capitalist. Shock Jock. Larry cudlow. Trump's advisor on economic is to have a show I remember, and he had me on there, and his show was about getting people with two completely different views to fight with each other, and that was his deep. And, so he had a guy who was big on the Marcellus Shale and he had me and you know we didn't fight. We argued with each other and Larry tried to get. He wasn't bloody enough for. And so he said well. Are you think that shale gas companies are all Ponzi schemes? Don't you? I said no doubt absolutely not, and it really hacked him off because he thought will for sure I can get something ugly going here and I said look Larry I mean a Ponzi scheme is something very specific. It's a it's A. It's a financial arrangement where there's no asset. where the only asset is somebody's money, and so I get a new investor and I give his investment money to an old investor. Who thinks he's making a profit I said for all the. You know the questionable ethics and economics of shale gas in the supplies to tight oil. It's not a Ponzi scheme. I'm sorry. I mean these companies they they have real assets, and they go out, and they raised money by like any other public company. They issue bonds thirty. They sell stock. They get loans on. Ma actually have cash flow, so no, it's not upon scheme and he said well. So you know wh, what do you think? I said well. It's real simple I, said the company's tell investors, one thing, and they tell the government something else. It can't be bottles. I WanNa, know which it is, so that was on a Thursday or Friday and on Monday morning I got a call from someone with the Enforcement Division at the SEC. and. She said we'd really like to talk to you. That's getting that thick letter from the IRS I. Imagine that even if you've done nothing wrong when anything arrives at Your House from the IRS, they raises the blood pressure. I'm sure other than Eli in Moscow. I think everyone else would get a letter from the SEC or get a phone call and be like I want no part of whatever it is that you're trying to sell me right well. It was a little irving, but I mean it wasn't a subpoena. It was a request, and so I said yeah sure. I'll come up there and I. got on a plane to Fort Worth and I just went through and I. showed them I said well, you know here's an investor. Presentation from company acts in September of whatever year that burden of the year before, and they said they were making a sixty percent internal rate of return on some play in here's their ten K filing. You guys for the same year at the same gas price and they took a billion dollar impairment. Yeah, which says that they were making less than ten percent return, so my question, which is. Are you making sixty or seventy percent? Are you making less than ten percent both cannot be true. And, so we went through all of this kind of stuff you know I I wasn't attacking any companies I was just giving them information and at the end of the. I walked out of there, said well. You Know I. Don't think they're going to do anything. It's a tiny, little, little staff people, but in fact they did do something and. You know they called some companies and they didn't. Punish anyone. They didn't find anyone. They just ask some questions. This is public record. Of the abusive kind of Things that I was complaining about the they went away. So you know in my opinion, the SEC did what it was supposed to do. Maybe more than it was required to do, and basically buyer beware you know you wanNA invest in shale, gas or tight oil company. Check it out I mean look into the company if if you don't feel qualified. Maybe you shouldn't invest in them, but you know. I mean you wouldn't go buy a house without paying an inspector. Two hundred and fifty bucks to take a look at the house is an expert you're not. He's GONNA show. You maybe cracks in the foundation roof. That leaks call somebody. Call me, call here's. The people like me. Say Hey. I'm thinking about putting some money in in this company. What do you think and that doesn't mean you get the right answer, but just like getting your house inspector. Why I. It's funny that you tug. Addict. People who later on say, OH, man! I got screwed. You know well, they do. Yeah, you're. You're looking for easy money without the work and the stock market. I mean certainly we've. We've started reading about this I don't know the level of magnitude, but sort of the they're calling it. The portnoy effect, which is again back to nine hundred ninety nine, when young people saw the stock market going young old everybody saw the stock market going up every day and they thought they could just buy. It was like the path. Easy money and you know as. As well as we've seen, people get into crazy derivatives, or they risk more than they can actually afford, and they don't recognize that. At the end of the day, the stock market, certainly the public markets are a bit of a gambling exercise. Because you don't have the information, you don't have the expertise and you're competing against computers and people who make billions of dollars to do this for a living, and you think maybe make a couple of great calls, but it's it. It can be painful on the way down the comments really interesting to me because. In two thousand fourteen, I gave my first speech. It was in Denver and you can imagine the response. It was called the death of the Balkan. October two thousand fourteen oil had just started falling. And I think at the time oil was eighty two and I said to this room of fifty people. I said. Oil is GONNA hit. Seventy five and rigs in the Balkan are going to go from two twenty two fifty, because they've been talking about spacing that doesn't make sense like it's more to in two or three and three it. It sure as heck is in six, six, six, six and six, all the benches that don't exist, and so they will cover up their mistake and continental in particular, had just found the springer play. They did produce six wells for thirty days, and they were going to put ten rigs in the springer, and I was like. If ever, there was evidence plus the waiting Kodiak zero premium merger. If there ever was evidence that a basin was done that was it and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Oil obviously hit thirty dollars, and so I've really had trouble with evaluation of public companies going back to two thousand fourteen. When you think about valuations today and the next year or two years in SEC, evaluations and prices economics. What do you think happens to the industry into companies? In terms of reversion to the mean that you talk about like the data's out there in in markets will eventually get it right. What what do you think happens? I think a lot of companies. End Up being the property of the United States. I. I just you know I mean just just before we. We got on this call together. I was getting ready for a Webinar giving on Thursday and I was looking through Bachan, continental whiting, Wason Yogi and just looking at their two thousand, nineteen ten case and figuring out you know. Anybody can do this. Most people don't know how but In. Their ten KS THEIR SCC annual filings. There's an item called the standardized measure. I love it. The only other smog guy on earth I got so much crap from twitter on the smog, but carry on I love it. Preach the smog standardized measure of oil and gas. Companies I don't know if they're required to. Or if they just do it, but they, they run through a a discounted future cash flow from their proven reserves in their annual filings, and so if you know an off to. Go back then say well okay. What are the reserves that they used for that you know with the SEC prices than you can calculate where you can back calculate what their real break even prices, and then if you add in their operating expenses, which are not included in that, then you come up with a true break, even price, so you know I'm I'm not looking at the spreadsheet right now, but looking at you know oasis and and Continental. Both of them were over sixty dollars a barrel, which is exactly what my bottom up calculations, actually looking at reserves and looking at drilling costs, and the Cetera so so were at. All we're at thirty five. Let's say or so of course in in the Williston Basin. They're getting probably six or seven dollars less at the wellhead than whatever WTI is, so let's just give them benefit of the doubt and say they're getting thirty five dollars which they're not. I'll if if if it takes them six years five to break, even after their operating expenses than they're losing thirty dollars on every barrel of oil. If they're getting well head now if they're hedge, of course, they're getting more, and that's important to look at, but they're not heads on one hundred percent of their production, and they're not hedged forever. So you know that says is that. Companies, that have. A lot of debt. And have had to shut in production, and maybe the in that I. Think most of it's back on now. At some point. They can't pay their interest, expense. Because they're losing so much money, the campaign their interest expanse. They're going to have to default. and WHO's GonNa? Buy Them in the past. I mean back in in two thousand sixteen the oil industry was in depression, but the overall economy was reasonably good. Propped up by a bunch of data of course, but whatever, and so there were plenty of people, companies and private equity, and whatever who were eager to swoop in and buy up these companies on pennies for pennies on the dollar. I don't think that's the case today. you know everybody thinks that Chevron and Exxon or just salivating in the wings in a waiting to buy up a you know an oasis or a widing or whatever Why should be surprised if they are? It's. It's really funny. You you talk about that. Because one of the biggest things going back to January when I was taking a larger public profile and in all my speeches, you know leading up to in the back. Cafe Twenty nineteen I to sort of went to smog because. People always said for one energy. How did you guys have success like you know? How did you learn the base? Did you read investor presentations and I would always laugh and en- data rooms when they said like would you run? Did you use areas I'm like no. We didn't use areas. I rebuilt everything from scratch with my own assumptions, because whatever people were putting out like that. That first page and investor presentation that says the everything in here is like safe harbor. You shouldn't agree with it. You shouldn't believe at forward-looking Blah Blah Blah and that basically rejects the premise of all investor relations, and so I went to the SEC and did the same thing as you did, and what I missed from the F. T. guys were. They weren't saying that they were. Overvalued or undervalued. They were saying that even the SEC reserves were overstated, so it's so much worse than even that suggests and I was saying ninety five percent, oil and gas companies were overvalued, which is fundamentally why there's been no consolidation because to your point Chevron Exxon are not going to pay cash for an asset. That's worth less than the debt. And so then you enter whiting, who's the first in the Balkan to actually declare chapter eleven, and then last night we saw Chesapeake declare chapter eleven, which was right after Sable Permian I believe which was. American energy partners so within four days the two companies that he founded declared. But they'll convert all that debt to equity, and then presumably there'll be appropriately valued in equity and debt goes away. Do you think that those guys become consolidators? There's a first mover advantage, or or how do you see those companies playing out? Will obviously I don't know but but I. I mean last time around two thousand sixteen they declared bankruptcy, and they merged from bankruptcy, and there was investor money, and they went out and did it again. And they kept the same executives that took them down and most of them got raises and. You know whatever Matt I'm not a corporate governance expert, but that's not what I would do I'd get rid of the bums and hire some new bums, not that they would do any better, but but the point is is that there were people who gave the money? And you and there were reasons for that. I mean when oil goes to thirty dollars as it did. In Two thousand sixteen than you don't have to be a genius to figure out it's GONNA go higher. Right if break evens, are sixty and the world needs more oil and it needs. TO GO UP! It's GonNa. Go Up! Okay, so you could have made a lot of money i. mean if you just bought shares a name your title oil. Company, In two, thousand sixteen, early, two, thousand sixteen, and you just held. Until the end of two thousand eighteen, you would have made on average like two hundred and fifty percent. Because the share price is. Pretty tightly correlated with the oil price. And at the time there was no particular reason why the oil price wouldn't go back to fifty or sixty dollars, because it was just an oversupply pro. That needed to be worked through, and so you know in a in a and as the as the price reached the the marginal value than the game was over, the casino was closed, could no longer and that's when everybody started bitching about free cash flow all kinds of other things that were absolutely brew, but I mean those were not reasons. Nobody cared about free cash flow in two thousand seventeen. The only cared about it when the game was over, and they couldn't make any more money and they said well. This is the reason we're getting out of these companies because they're. They're poorly managed an es. G in cash flow. Peak demand, and all you know, that's a bunch of crap. Okay, the the the the the reason they got out was because the price of oil had leveled out, and it wasn't going any higher, and it was a stock. Play all along. The public somehow thinks that investors were investing in the competent. They, weren't they? Were they were? They were investing like you invest in a slot machine? They, were investing in the share price in the share price. Stop going up. They got out just like you get up from the from the table when you start losing. Okay, that's just the way it works and. Some some people did Invest I. Mean the Private Equity Certainly did, but but you know in general. That just wasn't the case. So what's going on today? While what? What's the likely? What's the likely future plateau of oil price will it certainly is a sixty or seventy dollars I'm not saying well priced will never get back there, but looking out over the next. Let's say year. You know we're in a global depression. Let's be honest. Oh, absolutely, and I feel like I'm talking to myself except I. Feel like you're more handsome and better spoken, so I like this sort of upgrade of of me, so carry on I don't know how seventy year old guys better looking than you David, but whatever? The point is that. We are knocking to get back to sixty dollar oil anytime in the next year or two in the best scenario now you know it's possible. That that we could get some spikes. Get a some geopolitical event. I I don't see that anymore than bombing refineries Ghawar did, but you know anything's possible, but it ain't GonNa last. It's not gonNA stay there. And so the what I see is, prices are going to remain lower than the break, even for these companies, and not just the title companies, but. All the companies I mean the the the international companies the national oil companies. Everybody's got a big problem. In OPEC plus doesn't do what they do. For philanthropic reasons, and you know it's harder I suppose to to figure out what the what those guys actually need, but Saudi Aramco. In Two Thousand Nineteen Lay did an IPO sorts. And they released a statement. And you can go you know it's. It's public information. You can go out there and download it. And by the time you, everybody talks all Saudi. Saudi Arabia's break even prices. What is eight dollars and seventy cents a barrel? That's a load of crap. I mean that that their. That's their lifting cost. That's what it costs them to to run a compressor. A artificial lift system you go through that statement. And by the time I may pay production taxes and they do, and they have a staff and they have. Hookup expenses in midstream, and they have taxes and all that. By the time you added up the same way I do for any US company their break. They need forty dollars a barrel. and. And I've got friends who are Saudi and they say oh, no, that's not true. Saudi is a special company. Well I'm. That's what the information in their equivalent of a ten K. says forty dollars a barrel that's. That's better. Than just about any other company in the world, it is better. But it isn't eight dollars, so if oil is what it is today. Saudi Arabia Saudi Aramco. is at best breaking even and they're in. If they hadn't of cut ten million barrels a day, almost we'd still be a twenty dollars. So you know it's it's you just. I'm just not big into blaming anybody for anything. I think that's a really infantile way of of assessing markets and world events. It is what it is, and what's important to me is a scientist. is to describe. What is the present configuration of this market? In. If I can describe it accurately, in can identify the key patterns. That seemed to be the dominant controls that I might be able to say what this is. GonNa. Look like in the next moment or two, which is to say tomorrow, or maybe even three months, but in in a year or two you know now now we're in the world to speculation, but still I I go back to what is the present state? What are the main patterns that control the present state? If I don't know that then I'm just fooling myself about speculating about what I think things are going to do in the future, so so take two pieces from that as we wrap up the conversation number one is you sorta talk about a forty dollar marginal barrel and I think if you were to have access to the Russian data, it would probably look the same, and the generally because the US has been extracting oil since the early nineteen hundreds at an unbelievable clip and because. Because we had gone into decline in Nineteen, seventy three until the shales, other countries look more like the US used to look, and so I would say a forty dollars a barrel as about win, the conventional plays died so therefore air go for non shale players elsewhere in the world forty dollars the world. The forward Strip for oil looks like forty dollars for the next pretty flat for the next three four five years natural gas. We talked about a little bit, but it comes in at a buck. Fifty Kinda goes to to fifty which. Is arguably a marginal MC F-. Do you agree with those price forecasts on the margin excluding spikes kind of the next five years that we're in a forty. Two twenty five world for the next five years to think. Gas is a little trickier and so you talk about you know to ninety or something. That's a January contract price and it's been coming down. Actually. It's two eighty something right now, so. That's going to be a Max price for the year, but I mean a future strip is. To me, it's like any forecast. It is a very useful and concise summary of present thinking about the future. And so people criticize future strips, L. Look how terribly! The August Future Strip did it predicting the price of oil in January. Well, you know again. Duh I. Mean I mean that was just what people were thinking based on. Not Thinking that was what they were putting money on an August all right everything changed. Everything changes all the time. And, so you gotta look at. GotTa look at forward Kerr's for what they are. They are a snapshot of of Capital Expenditure Today. Just like rig counts, people say ell recounts. Don't mean anything anymore I. Couldn't I totally disagree? But if you don't know what to do with them, I guess it's easy to say they don't mean anything right. So. I would say I agree with you generally that forty dollars. Forty two forty three out on twitter, right, I mean that is what what the market seems to believe is clear the marginal clearing price of a barrel? WTO. Foods to be. A little bit higher, not very much. And so that that is really I. Mean it it to your overall point like that is very negative, and so we talked about two thousand sixteen in. It's funny. We started one energy in January two, thousand, sixteen. We sold in October, two thousand eighteen and people always sort of asked the Guy Roz question. was that locker skill will? The skill was identifying the opportunity? The luck was the fact that that two and a half year window like we literally could not have timed better by three months, and that was less purposeful because the aggregate backdrop has been a six year bear market, and so, what do you say to people who say well look oils? Thirty or forty and everyone's marginal cost is forty so the world. World is going to decline and gas is going to decline because they can have cap electricity and the best cure for low prices low prices, so oil's going to go back to sixty, so we're on the verge of this super commodity. Bull Cycle Eric. Nuttal who I'm sure you see on? Twitter would say that and some other you know. Energy Bulls say we're going into the super cycle and everyone's GonNa make money. Why is it different now? With low prices than in two thousand sixteen, when the same action worked because we're a global depression, thrill straightforward. And again you know this. This notion of cyclicity. Based on what I mean are these are these. Are these cosmic cycles, or are they based on on data because I I? Just don't believe that that that there are cosmic cycles I mean they're in all gets down to human behavior. And most of it in the oil business and the gas business is about producer behavior. And so I mean ninety nine percent of of what people talk about on twitter is demand. which just blows my mind because markets only care about supply. I mean they talk a lot about demand? But I mean price is what's used by the market either accelerate or decelerate drilling. Supply! It's a supply constrain market, which is not to say, demand doesn't matter, but that's just what the market does and so Yeah, we're we're. We're in depression. And and that doesn't change everything. It's just it's. It's very different. Present moment circumstance than we had in two thousand sixteen. That's all I'm saying in, so people who imagine a super cycle They're gonNa have to tell me where the money's GonNa come from now certainly, the price of oil is going to go to sixty dollars or one hundred dollars or something sometime out there I mean it is the master resource of the planet, and for as much as I would like to agree with my colleagues think we're gonNA. Go to an all electric economy out. There's no way we're doing that because it just doesn't have the productivity that we need. At least not in the foreseeable future, and so at some point, the price will go up onto saying that I. don't see the I. Don't see the circumstances in the relatively near term, which is to say the next year or so, that were entering a super cycle that Rice's are going to go down by saying that I'm probably wrong, but I would be surprised if I'm very wrong if it would you agree that the biggest risk factor for the fundamentals of the argument that you just made is the Fed and that. That the Fed has at every turn every time. The stock market has gone down. They have bolstered liquidity to ensure a risk on trade, and that the risk on trade tends to move people into an oil and gas like we saw that bull run that massive spike up in the last month where went from dead to stocks were up four hundred percents, and now they've kind of trickle down, is that the biggest risk factor is how the Fed responds to this global depression, which I also agree with you that were in. The. Not just the fad but the. The central banks of the world and the treasuries of the world that. If, you know if if. If, if they don't. Support. The livelihood of all the people that are. Out of work. Than the financial system will collapse. I, mean at some point, so so you know. The A lot of people say. Oh, look you know. Oil Demand is coming back. You know to speed of light well. Okay. Most of that's gasoline, and that's because people are driving round, but people are driving around, which is not particularly productive economic activity, but people are driving around because again six hundred dollars a week from the government, and they're not paying their mortgage, and they're not paying their auto loan, and you know Cetera, et Cetera are I'd so if if that's support drops away. They're not going to be driving around. And, that's that's something you know. I'm not saying that to be negative I. Mean that's just just the reality. Here's okay, so and and and I don't really something I don't care about gasoline demand I look at diesel demand. Because diesel reflects orders economic activity in that's in the toil. I mean that's until that starts looking good I'm. I'm not too to enthusiastic, but I disagree. I don't think I disagree with anything you said, but I disagree with the argument that the whole shale phenomenon was because of monetary pulse. The shale phenomenon occurred because. Oil and gas price was high. Pure Renson. Now you know zero interest-rate or nearly zero interest rate. Sherrod helped absolutely it helped. Did Quantitative easing the creation of liquidity. Did that help? Yeah, of course it help, but if oil and gas prices weren't high to begin. Wouldn't made that much difference in oil and gas prices were high because markets perceived that there were shortages. There were of both oil and gas at the beginning of this century, going back to what I said before. What do markets do when they want to stimulate activity? They raise the price and it worked. readies the prize then people you know reinvented high drelick, fracturing and horizontal drilling and and markets were still nervous all the way through two thousand thirteen, while. Maybe we don't have enough yet. And eventually we had too much in the price went down, but I think it's a mistake to to divorce all these factors matter. But, ultimately it's the market's perception of do we have adequate supply drives price right now. Mortgage judgment is hell. Yeah, we got adequate supply, and so for those who think that the price is going up i. say show me why. Show me, what about supply looks inadequate in pick your timeframe, and if you WANNA pick ten years, we can have a great discussion over a beer. That's great, but if we're talking about you know some reasonable period where we think we sorta know what the what the constraints are I, say well. It's a nice idea, and maybe you're right, but I don't think so not based on the data that I have today. And I agree with you so last question for you. You said you're seventy. If you could go back to twenty five year old art and give twenty five year old art advice that maybe I don't WanNa. Say Change the outcome because I think anyone who's had a had a happy life would not change a single thing in terms of where they are today. But what advice would you give yourself? That might have made it easier, or or how did a meaningful impact on on where you are today? Maybe maybe self, awareness or awareness of something. What would you tell yourself? Well we'd have to have a much longer conversation about the you know. The the the personal and the psychological part of that which I could give myself a time of advice on, but but actually on on the on the business side you know. I was paid to to be geologist for a big oil company and I was paid to keep my nose right in the area I was working on and be smart about the tools I use. I would have said pay more attention to the broader universe of what's happening in oil and natural gas markets, and in financial markets and Economics in general I probably would have gotten my hand slapped. Had I done that. But but you know I mean I was relatively ignorant, even though I lived through a lot of that stuff of all of those things until I finally broke her was broken from the big oil company at the end of the nineteen ninety s and I had to learn myself. And that changed my perspective immeasurably and I. Don't think it made me a better geologist, but it made me a a broader geologist so that that would have been the advice. I would have given myself. Well it's Eh. twenty-five no way. Yeah, I'm I'm with you. I am with you well. Art I mean phenomenal conversation for those who don't follow if you if you're not following him after this conversation I, I think you probably don't like oil and gas, and you don't like to expand your knowledge base so I would strongly encourage you to go to art. Berman DOT COM and sign up for the newsletter. He has some great services and I I. Really Value What you put out in the universe. I really valued this conversation and I I feel very fortunate to have got to have this conversation so until next time. Thanks so much for joining US I. Really appreciate it great start to. Straighten until next time. Be Safe. Be Good. Have a great day, bye!

United States twitter SEC OPEC depression Saudi Fed Ponzi scheme Larry cudlow Your House
Interview with Ryan Berman

Breakfast Leadership

28:17 min | 7 months ago

Interview with Ryan Berman

"Welcome to the breakfast leadership show where we interview global thought leaders on business leadership in life. Here's your host keynote speaker bestselling author and chief burnout officer of the breakfast leadership network. I go eleven. Welcome back I've got Ryan Berman on the Line Ryan. How are you? Sir, what's Michael Kazeem Quarantine Been Corentin spin productive and it's it's funny with my back story and burn eleven years ago and lost everything all that kind of stuff. So with the people are experiencing the losses if they're losing right As far as their jobs income things like that is very similar. So what happened to me? Over a decade ago. So now it's not. A great everything's fine, but it's still. It triggered me initially. Why my so down, what's going on here? Who's great healthy got plenty of food get the paper. We're good. You know there's no no issues here in the realized. Okay. You're you're living a pass trauma that you didn't fully address so. Quickly and And everything's been good and just doing everything that I can't help anybody that I can and making sure that take care myself how about you? No I mean a lot of make sense. I'm a self starter. Not much of the self stopper. So, sometimes it gets me in trouble? Now here I am in my efficient office and A. Video. But this is where welcome to the courage gave which is basically me hijacking my four old daughter's room turning it into an office. And Yeah I mean it's just I feel like. I've said, yes, a lot more. Than I probably would, and it's just how do you help people who who can I help out help them. let me listen and then you know take despite his skills, the superpowers that we have and try to make sense of somebody's idea and up sort of like put them in the right direction and. If they need me I'm here. They're very similar. This awesome house good stuff. So you're the founder of courageous which when I saw the name like, okay, there's interesting name for business of tell us about that. You know Y in y you launched your own business and some extra here. Yeah I'm a recovering ad guy. I spent fifteen years last teen years running creative agencies and started in your city learning from some amazing storytellers. When advertising really really mattered I mean advertising still matters. But like this was like the Golden Age TV and worked on the subway in Volvo and. schering-plough this a great place to get going and No little too much now that I've run aid creative agencies as long as I've had. So really was like well how I just. Best help clients get clear on what their story is. And you know we're living not only do we have this paralyzing pandemic got clarity epidemic and so You know this cloudy time and clients are they have all these choices and they don't know which one to go through and some sometimes when you're so close to the Kool aid, you need to hire somebody like Guston were the way I describe us as a bit like a special forces unit. So it's like ninety percents Swat team ten percents search consultant where we're listening to a client's problem where they need change and if we're GONNA talk about change, you're GonNa talk about courage. On the courage to dress that change and rebuilding our teams. Back from the problems that they have. So it's the right team to take on the issues. Of Fun Gaggy this year alone we've worked with season entertainment, the NFL Gibson Guitars. Helping College right now reinvented the college. Experience might look like when so many colleges are suspect right now since on my is going to be a real thing and social distancing is a real thing. So anywhere where chain really needs to happen albor being hired to come in and help assist on that change. That's important work in colleges of course, are a big thing where you see a lot of institutions that were already doing a little bit of the online learning. That big of a pivot but some of the other ones really didn't offered as much and now they've been forced to and it's really problematic for a lot of organizations to not just exclusive to education that I see it. From speaking events to. Offices. To organizations seem big corporate organizations that have completely virtual is their operations and they've told their people known, you're not coming back to the office until twenty twenty one and even then they may look at it and say, no, we're not to go back to that model per se or maybe we'll have a hybrid of it and that's where organizations at this time and I really hope that everybody takes advantage of this is. New Work with organizations like yours to look at it from a different lands because. When you're in the fish wall, you're looking around and it's the same the same food. But if you just step a little bit outside, you can say, okay, here's kind of what's going on in the marketplace. Here's some opportunities things you can look at. And consider that because. I look at this time as an opportunity. I know a lot of people unfortunately are struggling right now, but I do look at it as an opportunity for individuals and organizations to. Get the pause button for a second and okay if we could do this all over again, how set it up and I think that's what organizations are seeing. Pivot is really important from my perspective may not be internally that the seemed to have pivoted a little bit easier than others and I think a lot of it has to do with just being open to. New ideas and some opportunities to. Be Agile and adjust the they do business without necessarily impacting. The Quality of the deliverables they offer. Yeah I think the word. Used as the right word. So I I don't think there should be any. I mean if you're an entrepreneur and you're listening than, you have to be thinking about opportunity. Right, if you're reacting only to what's going on then I, you have to, you have to sort of recognize that's what you're doing. It's almost like a mindset flip. And you need to find finding you to flip it to what's the opportunity for the business, and you know if life granted you a opportunity to think through what tomorrow look like in again, it doesn't matter if you're small business. Are Fortune Five, hundred business. The idea really is okay you've you've road this innovation wave. And most don't have a problem with that. It's the reinvention piece. It's the next wave and you know it's hard when money is tight to create process and infrastructure and put budget. Behind, putting a team on that reinvention program. But maybe there's been something in this last three months that sort of jolts you into that you'd had more time to think in and what have you done at that time and if not start today and really think through okay. What do you want your business to look like in five years and if this is just a conversation and relevance are you is your company relevant or is in the shadows of relevance or you doing towards moving yourself in the team? Towards that relevant arena. So I think there's no, you know it's a tricky one because and I've had lots of. Quiet conversations with big companies talking about it to an opportunity to get the mindset right of our team as we start to figure out what tomorrow could look like for us and what's our role in all of this. It's the writing. It's the exact question in my opinion. I think to will sound to resilience some organizations and. I don't want to say that they're necessarily operating. They've got a safety net. So they screw up it won't be catastrophic but I think there's a little bit more elbow room for organizations actually tried some things and signals pilot this and see how it goes from remote work standpoint. There were so near organizations that absolutely refused to allow any of their employees work remotely. I have. Somebody in my family that works in information. And they basically had. A policy of they're going to be no remote work well. When their state went lockdown said, no one's going any. Where from work still needs to be done. So long behold everyone was working remotely now. They've switched that tale set cal we're going to stay remote. So at the end of the year, and basically, if you can work remotely you work remotely if you need to come in to do something, then do it but for the most part. Or currently and I think and I talked with people to once things unless they get back to normal as the normal we knew is not going to happen. There is a new type of dynamic with things. Cats the bag. So as people sorry, you can't work remote anymore because it didn't work. I that's GonNa be a tough argument unless there was such a huge productivity issue that it didn't happen. But for the most part for many organizations. It creates opportunities where they can look and say can suspending Oliver Money in real estate for downtown wherever office. We can shift some of those raise funds. Research resources should say into our D. or bringing out a couple extra people year to do whatever, and all of a sudden you have a shift, the organization So it's GonNa. Be An interesting dynamic to see how this lays out over the next. Couple of years at minimum but probably going longer than that, you'll. You'd like Newsletter that goes out every every Thursday it's like you weekly does the courage. which it's on the return on courage dot com site in which is the book I wrote and. And so about two weeks ago, I send out this sort of new world acronyms. For a pandemic so like one of them was. PC okay. Phone call. Okay. Like zoom fatigue is crazy. Just PC. Okay. Let's do a phone call or. The one I wanted to to talk about a little bit as wfw, which has worked from work and I think what's really going to be interesting to the work from home. Is when do we actually have to go and in the future like what type of projects? Today I. GotTa Go wfw I gotTa go in launching new project or we're going to brainstorm and we're going to be more. You know we're going to maximize time by all being there in person there's no question that you lose a little bit of the body language a little what's not said. When you're in zoom. And just creating that space for for dialogue and building on each other's ideas. But. I find it fascinating to your point to see what the future's GonNa hold on when. We actually need to go into work and. Then comes the office based conversation. How much money? Should you be spending on real estate there if you could do a quarter, the size of quarter of the office and have people coming in on different days, and that's going to maximize our time together. Well. Then where would you put the extra dollars? You know how those dollars go to being invested in the future being sunk into a real estate cost Of just you know date the episode I saw an article just before we jump on. That starbucks is closing four hundred of their locations cemented states in Canada, and they're going to be converting a bunch of them to basically a drop in pick up your coffee and sandwich or whatever, and go home. Now for many. starbucks is then they're basically free office in they've gone used their Wifi they've had meetings and a lot of entrepreneurship done that. So that's going to be an interesting dynamic as well on how where those people going to go. So that's where organizations that have offered space durant. Initially with all of us are thinking, what are we going to do but people are still going to want to meet face to face especially their local. So it's an interesting dynamic to see how that happens or if. I. Don't anticipate other coffee chains Dunkin donuts or something to do that because that's not the makeup unless they drop a trillion dollars to completely reconfiguring their model, which isn't there model. So it's GonNa be interesting to see how all of that shapes our sadden W W worked from work that it's it's going to be an interesting dynamic young just thinking of the client that have. They basically have three people at said, this one cubicle area will they've rotated it out? They're not working from there very often they might go in once or twice a month if that just do some people work in then away the go. But they're never there at same time. So it's like okay, will likely need three cubicle. They could just have one small workstation mailbox somewhere, and then you just grab whatever they need to do and go about their business all of a sudden. Now, there's a few hundred square feet, the no longer need to use. What do you do with that and? Commercial real stay think. is going to be the one industry is to have to be really creative in how they navigate through all of this and long-term. In, we'll see how it all shapes up. It's going to be. You might see some very small office of Four Thousand Square feet that may have ten different businesses in there. You might see more of that instead of someone saying Yep, I'm assigned on lease and be in the space for the next ten years. Yes. Some semblance of a we work that's profitable. Totally say that your leaky word is profitable. I'm you could have the greatest product on the planet but if you're taking on water unless you are Amazon, they obviously had some deep pockets Remember Amazon was losing money for the first seven, ten twenty years of their existence rooms wondering is this thing GonNa take off? Well, a I think they finally turned a corner. They get safe to say I mean. What's Nice about this conversation is again it's. How are you really addressing the reality to change? And I always like to say when you drive change or change drives you and. Look sometimes change driving. You is not the worst thing it it sort of forces you to think through. That conflict in that fearing. Anytime, you talk about courage is a famous proverb that fear encourage brother so. Instead of suppressing that fear in how are you really addressing that fear and bring it to the surface and Then, having hard conversations with the people you trust in your in your work at team. I know that I would rather be driving change for I'd rather be. Sitting in the driver's seat than stuck in the darkness of the trunk frankly. Am and so this is the time to be having those conversations about change and. You could find a little ways to reinvent yourself at first and create little experiments and put some budget process in place to do so and learn enough of those little experiments who knows where could take your business three years down the line five years down the line. The courage component of at nine on the base that assists of your organization in in your core being is. Insecure Times for people in a lot of people are. The I think really bothersome people 'cause. The for some a long time we've had this thing where we not necessarily sure what the housing look. You know few months along with recessions. We've had the past we know again, the market will rebound jobs will come back and everything goes well. We've got this now we're yes. Those things are going to happen, but we don't know in a look like at the end. It's kind of like when we were kids and we're asking Prensa where we go and you'll find out when you get there. We'll ninety nine percent of the time for for me. Anyway, it turned out to be great. You know I know for maybe for some people that might be a traumatic experience in who I didn't trigger. Anybody's listening to this right outside Jesuit events that but I think. Having the courage in comes down to the end resilience but also. Love you said you know the. Fear and I said don't fear. Courage I'd rather are others and. People that are afraid of public speaking. For example, you know the nervousness anxiousness. In excitement, nervousness and excitement are very similar energy as well. It's just how you approach in high look at it and having. Having that inner strength to now. Yeah this light yet screwed up, but I'm still going to be vertical when it's done and let's let's go for in encounter take that will but harnessing listing. Okay. Let's let's. Let's do this. Let's take that initiative and World needs more people that feel that way because I think when we have that. That fear of failure goes by the wayside because you're gonNA learn things we know about failure we know it's going to be. Problematic sometimes when when we mess up or we don't do something correctly but we learned from it hopefully and having the courage. Of course, the backing of organizations to allow for creative people to operate goes a long way. Yeah I mean it's Kim again little words like little tweaks and words. Can make huge differences in how you? Approach scenario. So you mentioned it a couple times about. Resilience and I liked your persistence. I think I think resilience is a word that's often used on reacting something. And I think persistence is a word. That's used when you're proactively. And the and the captured seat right? So again, these are like little mine sat flips with flip the switch moments. I love that about excitement and nervousness. It's you know these little Djeddai moments you Kinda just have the conversation with yourself and Again maybe maybe this is the time to grab your phone and go to note, sir, take out a piece of paper and maybe break it into three and. From left put the word PROACTIV. But the word reactive input doored in. And really start. Getting clarity on where he being proactive right now in your business. We being reactive in your business. It's okay. You know. Don't lie to yourself about it, but realistically were you worry reacting and then were you inactive? Complete paralysis making a move on the business and what often happens with scary things. Is We just it's like you just go on the record on loop inside your head in a new that you're the only one Dealing with this but. So many people are doing with. The context conversation of. The person in the car next to you right now they're dealing with us the person the elliptical next to is dealing with this. And again, the difference is the people that. Flip. The switch in the mind and they take action, and even if it's like little, it gets a little I like to call them experiments failures, little experiments. Little opportunities to learn something new that could push the business forward. Or Not right you might learn something. Okay. We're not getting on this direction. Is better than trying nothing and being a sitting duck in my opinion. See a lot of organizations that are sitting round in the girl. Wait until this is all done and then they'll go back to the way things were but unfortunately, their competition who's being proactive. and. Doing things and really experimenting with some things. Going to be so far down the road. Ahead of those organizations, they're gonNA. Track catch out and they're not gonNA be able to. and. Consumers are going see their clients, you're GONNA see they're gonNA wait a minute. We you've had all the time to do this for your competition's doing all of this. What were you doing and? That set head in the sand type of mentality. It's like the snack and addressing anything that's year. You're not only you're inactive your ear, you're comatose. Basically not doing anything and let's no way to do anything even during lunch in times like. It's still lose something. This is. What I found myself Michael Santa few times. That if you haven't thought about your values. Once during the pandemic, then you have the wrong values. Because really these, these are supposed to be the lighthouses that you're making decisions throwing when if if you have a team whether it's two people or two hundred people. They want to know why we're making the decisions that were making, and so you have these values that are supposed to be set up that you're you're using has decision making filters. It's supposed to be helping you speed up your decision making in general so. If you're wondering where where should you start? I would go back to the basics. And I would ask yourself. Are Your values cya values are they real they wall are are they collecting dust and some employee manual or are they really driving the behavior that you want out of yourself and your team? I'm broken record on core values I rolls throughout the exceptional. And when you have them in the real and they're prioritized and not too many you know by the way. Maybe, I'm wrong but I think Amazon is sixteen. I can remember for like I can. Remember that many not that smart. So, this is the time by the way that is an action like that is moving in the right direction like get the business mechanics on lockdown, and this is the time to assess what the values are. So you know how to operate in any situation whether there's a a pandemic or two regular Tuesday move forward. Last question for unless you go. What are some common traits you see in courageous organizations? What are some things that you see? Commonly there hopefully, there won't be a couple will what are some things you see you wish you'd see more and organizations obviously this is BC before corona. because. I know this the new that I've been using that a lot. Of because it's a tongue in cheek but there's I think in when we look back at this the on a couple decades from Belgium. Okay. Yeah. We less when we did things that way but against. Some countries, you see some crazy certifications and some areas where you would you wish some other organizations would would implement. Dominant focused on one and I think the right way to do this as a storyteller is detail of very short story which is. when I was writing return on courage. Would really semi down the rabbit hole was the dictionary definition of courage. So he actually look at the dictionary definition it's the ability to do something that frightens on. That sound interesting to you. To me it's like. Please, step forward I'm taking a step back frankly. I know that if you had looking rental. Yeah, exactly. Then, and then like let alone like do you want to do that at work? No like the the chief officer of my family my wife has zero interest in leaving San Diego, which is where I live. So I got to be really careful. What I say not to upset the the Hornets Nest Beards Diego. I just wanted to come up with a better definition of courage because when you think of that definition. I don't see utilitarian value of doing something that's frightening. In the last thing you're doing when you're thinking of a deadline project is this is frightening I must be doing her I think. A lot of my research people said that courage was a peripheral thing at best. But when they really thought about it because they're so focused on the day to day. When they really thought about it like, yeah. Yeah. We need to figure out a way to unlock urge inside organizations. So six months later after interviewing people would apple Amazon? Google. Navy seals Astronauts tornado-chasers people that study the way that we're wired. I came up with this definition, which is knowledge plus faith plus action equals courage. And in business I, love how you said earlier. But like you're GonNa past, if you don't do anything and I think many companies right now are like looking for every in data but you're never going to have every bit of data you need to make a call on. Data by the way to means to knowledge right so. It might not be knowledge itself but. And if you don't have all the knowledge, I, mean you need faith and when we talk about faith when talking about religion, we're talking about inner belief we're talking about. Twenty years of collective experience or ten years of collected experience. Get your gut calling. What can I think? We should we should make here. And then we finally get to answer your question. All that knowledge. and. All that feeling is nothing if you don't leap if you don't take action. So the irony is knowledge and faith without action is paralysis right and faith in action without maladies reckless a knowledge and action without faith if you're dumb and you're going to the motions and you don't have a fear. Probably work on status quo you're working on safe interacting it passed. So the companies that I see that are winning that are courageous they're constantly taking action. They're creating little experiments putting little little bats, low budget bats, little process, putting little teams, and they're really just experimenting off of that action. Some are making big bets but throughout waiting right there, they don't just embody change embrace chancer basically driving that change forward. And I love your definitional better no matter petition webster's to change. There's Did. indirectly, might you look in my late June connections? For some reason of my head, I can't think of anybody but it wouldn't be a shock if I go. Ryan above conversation can people find out more about you in the? Saas Murky. Done. Yeah you can find me a return on courage DOT com. If you like the content and be like the bucker weekly does the courage or Ryan Berman dot com vitamin linked in, send me an email love to hear from you and Michael You. Know I know you spent sometime down in this neck of the woods. Please look me up when we're allowed to actually travel on. We'll go get a beer. Absolutely, will definitely do that. So again, Ryan thanks so much time today. Appreciate it. Take care. Thanks for listening to the. Leadership. Part of the breakfast leadership network visit breakfast leadership dot com for tips on empowering Your Business and your. Life.

Amazon Ryan Berman officer starbucks Michael Kazeem A. Video Volvo founder NFL Michael You Guston consultant Oliver Money bucker weekly Google webster Gibson Guitars Kim
#hottakeoftheday podcast Episode 100 w/Art Berman


1:05:27 hr | Last month

#hottakeoftheday podcast Episode 100 w/Art Berman

"What is going on heartache nation. It is david ramsden. Would here for another episode of the heartache of the day podcast and this is episode one hundred. We started this back around a year ago and the world was relatively normal. We had just assassinated in iranian general. Oil was sixty three. The last three hundred and sixty five days did not go as planned. But if you were fortunate enough to have gone into a coma. Approximately three hundred sixty five days ago and came back. Today you actually would be fine oils back to fifty three energy. Equities are only down ten or twenty percent. The stock market's up kind of ten fifteen percent from that point things feel normal but if you weren't in a coma for the last three hundred sixty five days you have seen things that you never thought that you would see and theses have changed and gone up and down and so for our episode. I am very fortunate to be being joined by art berman. Who i really have a lot of respect for and i get a lot of insight into commodity prices in what's going on in the energy industry. We had him on the show last. Summer he is back are welcome to the show Were you one of the people who got to be in a coma for the last three hundred and sixty five days or now i've been in a coma for the last forty or fifty years david. That's so nothing changed for me. I'll perfect pearl. You're not going to have to talk about how that happens So so okay. So let's let's start with the macro and let's talk about oil prices because it's been crazy and and you and i are both on twitter. Although post the january sixth banning by twitter. I am now not really on twitter as a protest but in the summer you will recall that it was. Everyone's going bankrupt. These are horrible. There's so much inventory. Everyone's like getting crushed stocks are trading down ninety percents and like the bearishness was unbelievable and then the vaccine comes out. There's views a demand and you know. I think i'd seen a piece from you. I wanna say september that was sort of like the world's changed and if you're expecting like a commodity super cycle you're crazy. Maybe i remember that incorrectly. But it seems like the bulls are just out. What is your take on. What's changed and and where. Where are you seeing commodity price environment right now for oil and and then we'll talk gas sure well What i may have served Back in september was that i did not see. I think i was I was rely reacting to Gehring and rosenzweig thesis that we know. It's kind of an ongoing thesis. They've had for a while. We're on the The the cost spa some great us commodity super cycle and i. I didn't agree with them at that time. And i don't agree with them or anyone else who believes that right now What i what i think. We're seeing certainly an energy is okay. Were were coming out of Of of a of a big sleek and people can imagine a world in which demand is More or less normal and therefore was supply. Look like and so for me. it's always about supply. I don't understand the obsession in oil markets with with demand but be that as it may From my perspective it's always about supply Markets have zero ability to do anything about demand markets can control supply by let by by sending different price signals. And that's exactly what they do. And so if there's if anybody wants to have a more in depth discussion of price formation We we can do that at another time. But price formation has nothing to do with demand a supply and demand as long as they're moving in tandem. Demand can go in a fifty million barrels a day and as long as it's balanced by the right supply. Markets are happy. Marcus don't care about absolute values. so that's it We are feeling or about to feel the results of shutting in wells not drilling enough wells not spending enough capital and we have not yet begun to see a substantial tightening of supply although there analysts that any day of the week in any given month or year we'll tell you other physical markets tight while okay you know you. Can you can listen to them. They're they're pitching their book. I think but the reality is is that we are going to see substantially lower supply particularly from the united states In the coming months. And there's not a thing in the world that can be done about it and so we're just gonna have to live with it and the The bullishness in oil is because the market is sending a price signals. Saying you guys need to get busy and drill He's worried about supply next month or the next two months or three months. markets are looking out too. Well what's what's going to happen by summer fall and we will be short by then it certainly in the united states so so art. I wanna i love that. You're talking supply. Because because the demand i was doing some work this weekend to just try and figure out demand and and the only like and this isn't even insight. This is like the captain obvious statement of all time. But i think the drop because we only used six million barrels a day for airline travel and the us went from thirteen million barrels today to roughly levin and air travels down fifty thirty three fifty percent so roughly the decline that we've seen in the us basically offsets travel and so when. I'm thinking about a both thesis. Assuming travel comes back to normal. I can certainly see the supply shortage. What i'm curious about though. Is you know there's for forty five days. The world produced roughly twenty five to thirty million barrels a day when the world was balanced as you talked about so that would be the mid march two beginning of may when opec cut so that put a billion barrels in the market somewhere. We're doing about ninety four million barrels a day of demand right now and opec is down eight ish so we were two hundred the. Us's lost to opec's down eight. Were producing somewhere between ninety and ninety two depending on libya. It feels like we're really well supplied and so at two million birla day delta supply demand that would take five hundred days to burn off the billion barrels and inventory and opec could be prices. Go up just opened the taps. So where i missed clearly because i was calling for thirty five dollar oil at year end and that it would take until twenty twenty two to see a recovery but people have really looked past that. What is your take on on the excess and opec and and stuff because on the the world is undersupplied concept and then we'll talk about us drilling and how for sure. The us is declining. Sure so there. I mean there. There's so many moving parts in any complex system and oil is one of the more if not the most complex system in our entire civilization economy is founded on oil so That's another conversation altogether but so the the simple way to look at it is to ignore All the numbers to ignore. What now is ninety. Four million ninety six million or is jet fuel six percent or five point eight percent or whatever. And so what i look at and i think what markets look at is inventory and Because in other the numbers are uncertain they go up and down but but the the the ultimate source of supply. It's like it's like saying. Look i don't really know how much money's in my checking account this today but i know i've got can thousand dollars in savings and so whatever happens within reason You know i can be way off on checking. But i know. I've got enough in savings or conversely you know i got nothing but whatever have checking and so if i can't pay for it out of checking i'm in trouble so storage or inventories savings account and and if we look at the storage that we know about are there's a lot we guests about no fairly closely what's going on with. Us storage. Us storage is moving very quickly towards the five-year average where we've gone from one hundred and fifty two hundred seventy five million. Depending on which refined products you include with crude oil and were down to something like twenty five or or so and were were. Were losing about five million a week. So we're almost at the five year average if you look at oecd. We're at the five-year effort. So we're right at that at that inflection. Point between when markets are long and markets are sure you have a surplus of inventory or comparative inventory. Markets Are are are long or short rather if if you get into a deficit or you're approaching one. You're in the opposite situation. That's where we are and so our savings account is pretty nearly zero and when when that when when that eventuality approaches and by the way. It's it's not unusual to be zero. It's not unusual to be negative. We just haven't been in that territory or very far into that territory since two thousand fourteen. So were there. And that's what markets are looking at and they're saying jeez you know if we have an unexpected expense. How are we gonna pay for. You know if we have another bombing at in saudi arabia or You know if libya goes off line. Where where's the oil gonna come from. And before i leave this your point about opec has plenty of spare capacity. Sure they do For a couple of months but markets are like cpa's they markets say Great that opec has all this. But but we're kind of used to all this income that you've been reporting and a big piece of that is us and whether that oil is as usable as saudi oil on another another layer all together. But we're used to that income and so if if art berman is telling you that oil production is down two million in the us. Jabber were nose. And it's almost certainly gonna drop another million million and a half or more than your. Cpa's san you've got a problem and that's markets are saying. It's it's kind of funny. Because i have been thinking about the comas thing. A lot. my thesis going into twenty twenty. Was that all the tier. one inventory was drilled. We were drilling too tight. There was a level of capital discipline. It still wasn't as high as i thought. But then we saw declines in us production from the peak eia nine fourteen report was november. Twenty nine thousand nine hundred at twelve point eight five and through march before corona virus. Hit before anyone reacted. We were down to late. Twelve point six so we had declined two hundred and fifty thousand barrels and the thesis was working and my overall overarching thesis was. The world produces one hundred million barrels a day. Opec doesn't have a ton of spare capacity. We're going to grow demand a million barrels a day. The us is going to shrink not grow. And that's gonna make oil sixty which means that on a relative basis some undervalued companies and. We are sitting there again today. Obviously we got kicked in the face by opec and kovic last march. But i'm curious where you think this goes and i would thai-saudi to this because january third or four. They came out and effectively unilaterally lowered a million barrels a day of their own production. And its it stands to reason as i understand it. They have five hundred million barrels of their own long term storage in the world and fifty to sixty of short term. And so as we're pulling inventory out of storage. It seems that they're selling their own inventory to make up for the revenue. They've message to the market that they're down a million which has then move price up so they've made up for it and they're making more. So how does saudi play into all of this. And what did you take from the million barrel a day cut and what it means for longer term they were funny about. They were Oh boy no do we have do. We have a surprise for year. And now haven't we been good little boys and how well we regarded the So yes saudi. Arabia may need money then. Care and Aramco certainly understands inventory and comparative inventory and they saw an opportunity here to get a buzz on on their revenue and our. They've they've seized it there A little exhausted. I would say with another the negotiation piece of this mason. Screw it we're going to do. It's good with for us and by knocking off At least theoretically we're going to boost the price couple of bucks and that'll be worth it to us. And that's exactly what's going on but i i think the more important message is they're saying we're not worried about jail anymore. Yeah we understand On our own maybe maybe read some arts posed probably not but There's just nothing. New price could be a one hundred dollars a barrel tomorrow and there's just nothing that can be done in anything less than six to twelve months to increase production by anyone but but certainly who doesn't may have spare capacity and the stupidity of the The mean that the united states was now the swing producer of the world. Ios was kind of a talking point by a lot of ignorant analysts back a few years ago while you can't be a swing producer if you don't have spare past yeah and and we don't and so we never were so. Saudi is saying okay even if the price goes up a lot more than we think it will and even if all those guys In the shale companies get on the phone and get as many rigs as possible. It's not going to have any effect at all on supply probably freer so look at all the money that we can make between now and whenever that happens and it's going to happen anyway because prices going up on its own. I think the other point. That's important here. David is is you correctly. Noted that You know if you just look at crude oil and liquids the decline from you know whenever it was october november two thousand eighteen really Until the beginning of covert. I mean that decline was was already fairly substantial and that was because at least in the united states that investors had begun their flight from what used to be there dream. Wti got seventy five or so dollars. Seventy six i think. And maybe july of two thousand eighteen and at that point investors realize. Well you know the casinos close share prices as high as they're going to get because oil price is not going to get any higher so the free money's gone. Let's get out of oil and the excuses that were used and it's just unbelievable to me. How many naive people gullible people believe the talk. Oh well now we're gonna. We're gonna show you fiscal discipline and we're gonna live off cash. Oh it's a bunch of crap. it's just i mean. It never was in by the way. The investors didn't get out because they were worried about margins. That was just their talk. It didn't care about margins for five years or ten years before that they weren't making money on margins. Nobody nobody was investing in. You know in diamond back to retire on. They were investing in it. Because its share price headed good multiple wti wti goes up and it was consistently going up. You're gonna make a killing. I calculated once that if you you just bought a a basket of tight oil companies chevron and exxon and conaco back in early two thousand sixteen and held it until the end of two thousand eighteen. You made two hundred and fifty percent. Yeah you know better place to for free money matt okay. It ended it ended in two thousand. Eighteen in people started. Get out and made a lot of excuses as we always do with the real excuse was we can't make any money here on the share price. It was always a stock play in my well. And i i do. I mean i echo those sentiments have said the same thing about he s g. It's about if you can make money. And and look no further than the tech shares and the number of companies that have zero profitability and and zero potential to have profitability and yet these stocks are in tech companies are up four five six seven hundred percent my my favorite goto right now as a nearly eight hundred billion dollar company that makes three hundred seventy million dollars a quarter all of which is from carbon sales carbon offset sales to other car manufacturers. So so before we talk about oil and and and the impending decline. So do you think that we see sixty sixty five goldman sachs came out and said they think they're sixty five by the summer. Do you think we see that. And then and then. I would follow tie. This in a lot of analysts have looked to the market and said we see backwardation. So right now for prompt month is fifty two and when you move out a year it's sort of forty five and they're saying this shows that the market is today short even though because of inventory because of excess capacity. It isn't it seems to me that the back end of the curve is all coming down because of hedging and the front end of the curve is because there just isn't enough people in like companies have already hedged their barrels for february and march so the volume can't move the needle. So where do you think we go. What is this trip reflecting. And do you agree with my thesis. That backwardation is more result of selling hedges. Then of really tight supply like imbalanced today certainly out there a year or whatever whatever the the contract term is the hedging. Yeah that that that is going to push some for some portion of the mid the mid forward down. But i think the the near the near three to six months i think. That's that's very real. I i think of a future years as a reflection of demand for storage and so when oil prices low demand for storage is high. And you're incan tango going to get more money later than than you're gonna get today. And when that situation reverses when prices are are increasing in the president and we don't know about future so much then we see backwardation. Because you're you're smarter to sell the oil as quickly as you can an- rather than pay the fees for storage and enter into the uncertainty. That will we. Don't know you know maybe even shuts everything down and and i would have been better off to notice to sell oil sooner. So you know. I think there's There's a certain misapprehension about a forward curve really means and i just think about it is demand for storage and if you think about it. That way is just a lot simpler. You don't have to worry about well. Is is the market really short or is it really long. It's just doesn't you know. Is it worth the carrying costs of story moral if that's really all it's about so and so do you think that we hit sixty five dollars per month this year. I think it's almost inevitable however The idea that we're going to go into A sixty five dollar market. That is sustainable. I think is improbable at best. So one of the beauties of of being a student of comparative inventory is that i get used to to these price discovery excursions and there's a lot of people that look at my and by the way full disclosure i didn't invent a comparative inventory method. A good friend of mine named mike. Bodell was the inventor if there is such thing and he did it back in the early two thousands when he was working. I for unocal and then for sarah but anyway i use it. I guess i'm probably the the most public practitioner of it. And so what we you look at you. Look at some of the comparative inventory yield curve. What mike calls. And the yield curve is just the fit between the The spot price and the comparative inventory. Which is just the the difference between the five year average and the current storage level. This week or this month or whatever it is and people said well. That's that's not a very good fit and and well okay. It's it's like It's like human behavior you've got you know a thousand people and you're you're judging how they react say they're investors you know who buys tesla who buys apple who buys a mutual fund and it's all over the place i mean there's there's a there's a wide variance but there is a there is a trend and that trend is meaningful and into me The the comparative inventories not ever meant to be a mathematical regression. We are dealing with human behavior. Human psychology complex systems and so. The excursions from the yield curve are much more meaningful and informative than the trend. Now i'm a geologist. And and in the geologic record is completely indifferent to what's happening every day. it doesn't preserve it. You know it's a huge stuff. The catastrophic stuff the thousand year flood. The you know the chick shillue media impact. That's the stuff that gets preserved. Those are the price discovery excursions. And so i firmly believe that the market believes that that the marginal price of wti today is forty or forty five dollars and the market is not going to change that view until there some long standing reason to do it. But it's gonna push up the price. It'll it'll take a detour from that yield curve and that can be at least thirty percent we not. That's what that's what previous excursions tell us in so it's gonna push push push until there's enough drilling to give the market comfort that okay. Now we've got supply under control and then the then the price discovery is gonna go in the other direction and it wouldn't surprise me if we go in once that's achieved if we get back to thirty five because as long as there's someone on the other side of the bat who's willing to take it then that's the way it works. I mean these traders they are the discoverers for whatever else. You may think of them. It is their daily activity that that finds okay. What are the lower limits. What point two people say no. I'm not taken that trade anymore and then it goes back the other way so sixty five dollars. Sure seventy maybe who knows but but it doesn't really depend on. It's not a random thing it depends on. How quickly recounts rebuild and how quickly supply is replenished. That's what it's about so so let's talk docs because we're going to pivot to the us. Because i think this is related to you. Know we're going to see that the us has been the only country really going back to two thousand eight that has materially grown and we can debate the value of a but we were affectively five million barrels a day in two thousand six two thousand seven. We hit at thirteen million barrels a day now. Eleven so the. Us has been the world's growth engine and you know we're gonna talk about company economics but one of the things that publishes every week or every month is the duck report and i'm curious your view because we've seen from the low in the summer we saw forty five francs breads and based on primary visions rig fractured count last week. I think we're up to about one hundred sixty which is almost quadrupling from the low and the permian was really the only one over the last couple of years has continued to grow the duck inventory the rest of the basins at least according to the flat to down and that that makes a lot of sense but it would seem that the the there's three thousand thirty two hundred thirty four hundred. Some large number of horizontal duck wells in the permian operators could go out and produce bring online in the next three or four months. You don't see it that way. Let's talk about ducks. Sure so drilled uncompleted wells. I mean i'm in the business drilling wells producing wells figuring out where to drill new wells. What to do with old wells. All of that stuff Whether to take working interest in somebody else's well or who to let in on one of ours and so when when a producer an operator drills a well that's big capital expenditure millions as a safe around members in the permian. That's probably five million dollars to drill the well without completing all right so so the decision not to produce is horrible. Net present value consequence. And someone's could say well. Yeah but what. If you spent another five million def- racket and complete it and it wasn't very good you know that's sure absolutely so no producer in his right mind drills a doc because it's a good idea to have spare capacity. I mean let's just. That is the stupidest idea i've ever heard. A lot of analysts and journalists. talk about they they. They've never worked in the business. May don't understand by the way. I have great respect for ya and could not do what i do without them. But none of those guys have ever worked me oil business either. As far as i know there are no geologists. There's no geophysicist. I doubt seriously there any drilling completion. Engineers at is so they have a really. All they know is what they're told or what they come to believe and again are not disparaging them. They're smart people but they've never done this. So when an operator drills as to say i drilled ten wells and i decide. I'm going to complete three of them in to leave. The other. Seven is darks. Why would i do that. Well because i believe that the three that i'm spending the extra five million a piece on have a better chance of being high-performing wells than the seven. I choose not to and by doing that. I'm taking five times seven. Thirty five million dollars in net present value that's going to keep declining and declining declining. And it's gonna on probably never gonna be able remember how good those wells are to to to end any better than a net present value of zero. So it's a consequential decision. And i make because regina holliday is random and obviously i don't drill a well because i think it's going to be a bad well. I drill every well and some of my jokers. I have to for some reason but for the most part. I drill the well. Because i believe it's going to be a goodwill but i have a lot of information from drilling logging it that often confirms that or refutes that if the data doesn't look good then why should i spend another five million when i've got a different well. That looks really good. That i could spend more so the idea that all those ducks are equal is absurd. Geology is far too random. That's a lot of. That's a lot of. I mean i so i agree. I agree on one hundred percent on your net present value discussion. I've always been shocked. That companies are picking up rigs. I've never thought of them as like really really low quality. I mean clearly. Some are summer in culbertson. And it's gassy and there's water and there's age to us and you don't have infrastructure but i you know i always sorta gave the duck thing in the permian in particular was that you are ramping up rigs drilling so fast and there was just a limited amount of completion crews and sand and trucks and water and so because the industry wanted to show drilling rigs because everyone focuses on them. They were never able to keep up so they built this huge inventory. I'd never really thought that of the you know you're not questioning that. There's three or thirty five hundred bucks. What you're saying is the the. The quality of those is so low that the companies are completing their true ducks. They're good quality ducks right now. But there's a lot of that stuff that doesn't get completed and so without the drilling rig ramp up. We really can't get much higher than where we are today. That is that sort of the thesis is that we're kinda tapped out on the number of completion units. We're going to be running in the us. Twenty twenty one. There's a couple of points so first of all any well that was drilled. An uncompleted before two thousand sixteen is probably never going to be complete agree totally. It was drilled under completely different economic assumptions. And so you know subtract some number you thousand from whatever number. You're working with to begin with okay. So the there then are. There's a lot of wells that are counted as ducks just as part of the operation procedure of drilling wells on a pat. So we go out and we got a rig. We're going to drill. Let's just say hen wells on the pat niche one of those wells. If everything goes perfectly essay takes a month. Okay so were we. We've now we've now got three hundred days. And and that's when we're going to take off the drilling rig move it somewhere else. And bring in a completion rate to actually do the run the pipe and the semantic in the in the perforation in the fracking and all of that and each one of those wells is going to take at least week after we get the rigs changed out to to do the frac and all of that so we got three hundred days. We got ten wells that are gonna take a week and plus we got gotta d. Mobin mobin all that. So we're talking pretty close to a year between the time we started drilling the first well and the earliest time that we start producing the first well. So in the meantime all of those ten wells or ducks well as their drilled their ducks and so times the number of companies in the number of rigs. So you've got you know. I don't know what the number is but it's it's hundreds many hundreds of ray of wells that are counted as ducks. That are just waiting to go on production. There's absolutely no doubt that they're going to be completed so that. That's that's a confusing part of this as well to make it simple in my most recent public post that anybody can find on our berman dot com. I just simply look at forget about if it's a doc or a non ducker no crow. I don't care what it is. How many wells are we. Completing each month and the number of completed wells is declining. And so call it whatever you will and you can have whatever frac spread you out there. We are drilling fewer wells completing fewer wells every month and we were last month since march so call them. Whatever you will that has to turn around before. We have any expectation of production increasing. So i've given you a lot of detail that some of your listeners will probably glaze over and say oh my god what's he talking about. Just remember we are completing. You're incremental wells each month than we did the previous month. And then what's your expectation. Then for how long it's gonna take production to stop declining. Turn well it can't be very can't be very soon can't it. You've got to get back to zero. I well i'm i'm with i'm with you. I don't think the us growth this year. And so you know. I definitely think that operators took their best inventory. But i remember in october. And i know you remember in october win. Oil actually was thirty five. So i should have said well. We'll be thirty five. October thirty first because timing is it turns out as everything because oil was very close to thirty five and yet operators all the way through november. Ramped up their completion rigs and i think it was as large part to mask the underlying declines so they had their ten thousand foot lateral wells that they've drilled. They were their most economic inventory. There's ten on a pad. They've already built the facilities. That was the best bang for their buck. And so they ramped up and then now prices have been pretty supportive. Let's talk about the companies and the business model because one of the things you said earlier was so we have sixty five dollar. Oil is almost an inevitability this year because of the lack of supply and the duct discussion. We can't bring them on for a year and then the market gets rebalanced. And you wouldn't be surprised to see thirty five now. The average is fifty. Which is where we are right now. And at fifty. Emp companies are pretty touching. Go on economics at sixty five shale wells are good. They're pretty economic and at thirty five. They're clearly not. So what does this mean for the listeners. Who are working for their their their small-cap or medium cap large cap and they're trying to navigate drilling programs and economics and share price. And how do you see the dislocation of this wild swing oil versus the companies. And would you be saying you know we got a hedge this you know as much as you can at fifty and survive until we actually see opec supply coming offline or other lake back filling with demand. We see inventories come down. We see the us at nine million barrels a day again at which point then prices really will be majorly supportive which is sort of my twenty twenty two twenty twenty three outlook. Well how do you see that. I think we'll be at nine million in twenty twenty one. I don't think there's any way that that we won't be Again back to the eia forecast of eleven million or eleven point one million average for twenty twenty one a. It's i can't even tell you what it is impossible. This is totally impossible. And i'd love to. I'd love to have a a respectful conversation with the people that that run those models. Because as i said they're you know they're smart people but it's just impossible and it reflects their You know. I think they're they're well it. It's real simple david. The they say it in it's embedded deeply in something. And i've i've i've got the link on my website. But they believe that that the turnaround between Starting to drill a well and i oil is two months. And if you believe that then. I guess anything's possible. And in that is possible in a handful of situations one off kind of situations where i'm just drilling one. Well i'm not drilling wells on a pad. It's vertical welham not tracking it infrastructures already. There i don't know how to build a pipe to the nearest pipeline. That like all nine wells that are like that of the united states. Right now Something like that so so you know. So that's that's just that's just goofy. I don't know what else to say about it. it's I think it's It's a it's a very misguided assumption and again on i'm not. I don't think that that that anyone's doing to try to make the. Us look good guy. I don't think it's agenda driven. I just think it's inexperienced drip and they say if you believe that a well can be drilled and completed in producing in in two months. Well yeah i guess. I guess your model make sense but the the business model for for tight oil people have a have a funny idea that tight oil is somehow unique and completely different from everything that's ever been done in the oil business since eighteen fifty nine just nora. It's true that the reservoirs are much worse. And we have to spend a lot more money drilling and completing them to get the oil out of them but the fundamental risk involved with the economic risk with with with drilling a well and making a commercial are not changed and in the the idea that That it was only shale that no that had negative cash flow to have positive. Cash flow is just preposterous. I mean if you look at you know an i have graphs to show this. I mean before shale ever happened there was like maybe one or two years In the last twenty five were. Ian p overall had anything better than than than zero. Mpv is just the way the oil businesses. There's a lot of risks. Spend a lot of money in a lot of the money we spend is doesn't return us anything so that's the nature of the business. That's just the nature of the business. The fact that the companies are you know as you said they were ramping up their drilling towards the end year were part of that is of course to make the year end. Numbers look a little bit better as such as they can but with that tells you is they do have money. There is capital available if you read the headlines and bloomberg reuters or whatever. You'd have this idea that these companies have absolutely no money and that that's ridiculous If investors are starting to figure out that. Oh wow you. Oil might go to sixty or sixty five dollars. Maybe it's time to think about buying conn show or diamond back you can guarantee that private equity and all the other people that are in there figure that out a whole long time ago and so and the the capital available to these companies. A lot of it is is is is much more opaque than you might imagine. And i'm not just talking about mezzanine financing this is what some people call dark inventory in dark inventory is that people usually countries with a lot of money. We'll basically prepay pay an operator. Say look we'll give you you know. Make it make a futures transaction right now over the counter unrecorded for forty five dollars okay. This you haven't even drilled the well yet and once you have. You're going to store it for me on the lease until i say put it into the market okay. So that's a. That's that's someone who is willing to take the risk of owning the oil not just a futures contract and this number. We see every week unaccounted for oil. Which is almost always very large number. It's often the largest single factor in the crude oil stock change. it's been savaged around four or five million barrels so the positive every week last week it was a little bit negative and nobody pays any attention to that number. What is that number. I've always wondered. i know. There's some h f. I think research they talk if they do some delta unaccounted for oil. I don't know what the unaccounted for. Oil is and maybe it's because i'm thinking from production reporting standpoint with two month lag which is why i trust the nine fourteen number. I don't really look at the weekly's and i mean i look at them directly but as you said there's some huge gaps. What is this missing oil. A guys are just leaving it in in sixty nine hundred barrels of tanks on location. That's it it's not missing. That's the whole point. It's unaccountable what unaccounted for means. Is it's the difference to production desertion. So when when when when a when an operator starts producing well it has to report that to the state because the states state needs. It's it's it's tax in royalty. Owners need their royalty etc etc. Okay so if there's a difference between the volume that's produced and the volume that flows into the market at sold. The matt's unaccounted for doesn't mean it's missing. It just means somehow this oil was produced and it wasn't so so where is it. Sitting in a big tank on a lot of leases in in there was a time in the past when when lee storage was accounted for by the and they stopped doing that in two thousand sixteen for obscure reasons that conspiracy theorists can make a lot of but they stopped doing it and and that two thousand sixteen. The permian was was not a big deal. If you drive around the permian basin today. i mean. Look the tank batteries that you see on both sides of the road. I mean there's a huge volume of storage out there immense true okay. True that's unaccounted for oil. And so who owns that oil. I don't know because it's over the counter. I bet you saudi arabians a bunch of that while you a owns a bunch of that oil okay. So that's a way for them to to hedge their investment they buy low producers. Need money to drill. I'll give you forty okay and i'll take it. I drill drill the well. I hold it on the lease basically for free until you tell me to sell it myself for fifty and you made a big profit. I got what i wanted. I got money to drill. You got you. How big is that number. I don't know. But as i said if three to five million barrels. A week is unaccounted for do the arithmetic. That's that's a you know. Five seven hundred thousand barrels a day at the high end. And that's that's a lot of. That's a lot of wells with with sixteen hundred barrels or so of oil storage that are low producers. They produced fifty barrels a day. That was always my complaint whenever we built facilities was you build these things for flush production but then within a couple of years. They're not producing thousand barrels a day. They're producing fifty and you have thirty days to storage on location that you really don't need but in this dark world. You're you're projecting then there would certainly be benefits if you were if you're doing that. Let's let's pivot to natural gas for a second so we saw. I want to go back three months and we saw sort of three thirty three forty gas. The running of the bulls oil was thirty five at the time and everyone was the running of the bears in oil. We've had this polar vortex but we're still sitting in the to sixty range see japan who's undersupplied for natural gas all-time highs for natural gas. What is going on with gas and inventory. And and why are we seeing prices kind of stubborn in the same range as they've been for the last three or four years so i'm working on post right now. Called natural gas amateur hour. And i don't mean that in a in a disrespectful way but to be perfectly honest i mean this is what happens when amateurs get involved with with with predictions and plays and so natural. Gas is always sorted. The you know the step child. It's nobody's is as interested in natural gas or most people aren't as they are and oil and and until until somebody says. Hey look at this. You could make a lot of money in natural gas and In the conventional wisdom about natural gas is that it's all about whether you know if we have cold winter than we consume lot. Gas price goes up if we have warm winter than it. Socks and gas price goes down and as with most conventional wisdom. There there is some truth or it wouldn't the wisdom even if it's bad wisdom but the problem is again comparative inventory justin aware as storage relative to where it's been a year ago two years ago three years ago four years ago. And what what we see is you look at the big price excursions on natural gas and they always happen in the winter. When there's a cold snap so it is weather but only happen. When comparative inventory is negative when you go into the heating season with a deficit of comparative inventory and then there's a price spike in the market says oh crap and all the sudden spot. Prices are seventy five dollars in in boston and futures and wellhead prices. Go to six hours. Okay you go into what turns out to be a cold winter with a surplus Choice surplus in the market. Says i got ten thousand bucks in my savings account You know i take. I might take five hundred out. Because i'm a little concerned but i'm really not worried. And so we went into this heating season with as great a surplus. And if you don't wanna do the comparative inventory. Just just make a plot every month as i do. Publish it of What what the storage level is and how that compares to where it was just draw curve of two thousand nineteen two thousand and eighteen two thousand seventeen. Are we hire. are we lower okay. So we were higher than two thousand sixteen which was the highest year ever An oil and gas price was the lowest by the way during the winter. We've been higher than two thousand sixteen for the whole winter and at best we were at the same level. And so you know it's it's like Casablanca i'm shocked. I'm shocked oil. Prices haven't gone higher than two seventy five. Of course they have. Of course they haven't because we got. We got a million dollars in our savings account. That's the way the market works. The market is cheap. The market whoever the market is is is a skinflint. It never wants to pay a penny more than it has to. It's always short and so if the market doesn't think it has to pay anymore it's not going to so what happened was a bunch of amateurs got in there and they said oh well you know with all the tight oil wells producing last there will be less associated gas. Check that off absolutely and that means that there's going to be tight supply and that means that prices are going to go to the ceiling on there. Were lots of guys out there. I think h f. I was one of five dollars. Five dollars i remember. I remember seeing that infer from very brief window and gas was three fifty there were. Everyone was pretty excited about it and and i agree. You look at inventories and and also capacity in the marcellus to bring on as much gas as you want but people are people were you know. We're we're telling me. I didn't know what i was talking about in idiot now and i often wrong but i'm i you know i've been doing this a long time. And for those who who followed him you know who subscribe to my weekly comparative inventory. I do a gas and oil worn separately. You'll see that. I mean the gas inventory report every week since long before october. You know i was testing and probing this thesis that we're gonna have higher prices and for sure. Prices are higher compared to the dumps that we were in and i think the markets have have increased the the the marginal mci by about seventy five cents. And that's not going away but it all gets so so the way i think about it is looking at comparative inventory. And whether is an acceler and of comparative inventories low than the accelerate effect would be great. If comparative inventories high the accelerate effect will be more modest. And that's just the way it is now. Having said that the amateurs just got their timing raw that we will be in a comparative inventory desks deficit by the beginning of next winter. That's the time to play gas. Well the time to play it before that obviously. But that's when you're going to see it and it's the same phenomenon you can't you can't produce an mcse gas any faster than you can't a barrel of oil because he got the same the same operational process with the pad drilling so the you know. The there are so many people that think technology is going to solve all our problems. You know. i'm a great believer in technology at the same time. There's always a plus and a minus. And so in my opinion the the biggest breakthrough in oil and gas since three d. seismic was pad drilling and with three d. size mcgann with pad drilling There was a negative and it was always cost and time so it just costs a whole lot more money to shoot a three d. survey and it takes a whole lot more time to process it and you find smaller and smaller new fields and so pad drilling was a big breakthrough for cost efficiency but it has a negative in the negative. Is that takes a whole lot longer to get first oil out of the ground. The biggest the biggest breakthrough in the oil business before that was rotary drilling. These these are big breakthrough events but everyone from involves substantial cost and time. You just don't get any free lunch. That's the way works. And so so it's interesting because i started this episode by talking about the coma and you know in march. I think a lot of people were saying. Look there's world demand is going to be impacted. there's a lot of supply it'll rebalance but ultimately a thirty five to forty five dollar world right now isn't necessarily unrealistic but we're going to have huge volatility and that the net long impact on natural gas is less oil less associated less investment less cash flow and so gas kind of goes. And so if you snap from twenty twenty two the beginning. Twenty twenty two. That seems to play. It's this volatility based on the inventory in the markets giving a signals. That are very confusing. So if you were to say what are you most afraid of risk wise and then. We'll close it because there's there seems like there's a lot of risks in the background whether it's you a in russia doing their own thing whether it saudi snapping their fingers and making a different decision whether it's cold winter ellen g exports what what is the biggest risk that you think about right now in terms of what faces are market either positive or negative right and and before i go there. Let me just ask for those who are going to you. Know throw tomatoes or darts or whatever The the export part of natural gas is a big consideration. And that is that something. That's not new at began. We became a net exporter of gas in two thousand sixteen. But we're we're now know. Our net export for both pipeline. Lng's vcr for day. And so that's a big combination of demand that wasn't there. Before and so a lot of the arguments that called for five dollars gas were impart based on. Oh but you know. We're we're going to be ramping up ellen. Exports and ships there because there has been such a large ramp isn't built out and so prices to move ellen. G have moved up commensurately and it similar to the oil tanker situation the beginning of this year when oil prices were dropping. Everyone was looking for tankers to store. Oil surprises went crazy. Ellen g we've seen the thing with japan so certainly lada dynamics to consider it's it's it's a hugely complex system is far as risks. Honestly i i don't see any risks that are That are beyond the ordinary risks. I know we you know we as as as humans like to invent narratives I i live in a in in in reality of unresolvable uncertainty and and starters you know as soon as there's a there's a some falling out between russia's ardy arabia and they do something incredibly stupid like they did in march there's a countervailing effect somewhere else and I you know. I don't know where that is. I my sense is. Is that our optimism about corona virus. Ears probably misplaced in time A a you know we're dealing with humans and Okay you know. Let's say that the verdict vaccines or one hundred percent of You know there. There's a bunch of Now there there are a whole lot of people that are just living in their own infantile fantasy that they're not gonna get a vaccination is they're they're you know it's you know it's probably hillary clinton in the you know in her. Her pedophile pizza pizza shop in philadelphia. That's that's manufacturing rumor people. Just they just believe the goofiest things and so a lot of people aren't going to get made maybe eventually they will But i i just i just we've already seen the the rollout has been hugely disappointing again. That's you know. I'm not blaming anyone. That's that's just the way humans are we don't. We don't do things as well as we expect and our expectations. Whether it's you know it decay curve or growth curve in. We always imagine all the worst things are going to happen at the same time which they never do and the decay curve ends up being a lot flatter and a lot longer than we thought or we think all the good things are going to happen if the same time and they don't in our growth expectations disappointed. So i you know. I think that i think i if if you're betting if you're an investor and your bad is that we're going back to normal on Oil demand or energy use I'd be cautious on that debt. We're going there slowly if you're bat is es g that oil is over and we're all going to be driving electric cars by twenty twenty five. And i think that's a hugely delusional view. I don't say that as an oil and gas. Partisan i say that as a as an objective scientists and and for people that think that we can get off of of a fossil sources of energy anytime in the near term they. They don't understand the physics of it at all. I'm not looking down on them. I'm just saying that's wrong. So if you're playing the stocks if you if you think he can make a lot of money in some the s g investment on the share price go for it. You probably will. But if you're betting that there aren't going to be a oil companies in ten years you're going to be hugely wrong if you're betting that the world is going to be running on on wind turbines and solar panels and fifteen or twenty years. You're going to be wrong and if it is it's going to be the poorest world you can imagine and there just isn't going to be any economic growth and again that's it's not a you know. I'm i'm environmentalists side. I believe in climate change. I think we're going to have to do something like with technology. There's there's pluses and minuses. And whether we choose to adapt or whether the world forces us to it's going to be a poor world going forward so the biggest risk to answer your question. The biggest risk. That i see isn't anything specific about the energy market. The biggest risk is that we have a global economic collapse which were always on the verge of. Nobody wants to think about it. Nobody wants to talk about it. But i mean the system that we have is usually fragile and we have done nothing but increase its fragility Certainly row we've been doing it since nineteen seventy in this country but Since two thousand eight. We've we've solved the problem of a financial crisis with more finance and more derivatives and and more more more money supply and we are solving the problems of covid with the same and so all of that increase the risk of financial collapse or or flat-out economic collapse credit. I think our credit system is the biggest risk we've got millions and millions of households that can't pay their rent okay so one creditor doesn't get his money that credit or cambay his creditor campaign his creditor and it doesn't take as right now. We're we're we're feeling a little bit comforted by the fact that the government is going to make it all okay but it just doesn't take a lot of a lot of perturbation in that system before confidence is lost and that's when we see collapses in a fat happens. I don't think it's going to be the end of the world. I'm not one of those people in all. I don't think we're gonna see open warfare. Although you know again back to infantile fantasies we've got plenty of those people out there always have by the way You know it's not trump's faulty. He hasn't helped. But it's not as fault on these people have always been out there and there's a lot of there's a lot more than than any of us really want to admit but i i i think. The risks of the to the functioning a credit system in the world is the biggest risk. I i tend to agree on that and so with that art. We will leave it. There are hundred. Episode is in the books. I appreciate you being the guest and a people can follow you on twitter. Obviously berman easy to find on twitter and go to art. Berman dot com check out the comparative inventory reports. I agree. It's all about inventories and are really really good. Job of laying it all out there for you so even if you disagree you have the data and you can make your the way you wish so art. Thank you so much happy new year. Great to see you again. And i look forward to staying in touch chat with the next time. It's been an honor to be your hundred show guests so Look forward to talking to against the awesome. Thanks until next time be safe. Be good have a great day and with one hundred episodes in the books.

opec us saudi coma david ramsden art berman Gehring twitter
761: 5 Ways to Approach Dating Meaningfully | Q&A w/ Dr. Laura Berman

The Art of Charm

1:09:30 hr | 1 year ago

761: 5 Ways to Approach Dating Meaningfully | Q&A w/ Dr. Laura Berman

"Hey, what's up guys? Before I went into the art of charm. I was a college student of freshman to be exact and I would always have an easy time meeting, a lot of people but never able to form a deep connection or a relationship the art of term really helped change that for me. I learned how to really connect with people on a deeper level, and I'd like to thank the art of charm for some of the deep relationships. I have today. Some of my best friends, I've gotten to know a lot better and have been more comfortable opening up to and have gotten them more comfortable opening up with me. So anyone who's having trouble building those deeper relationships or making those meaningful friends, or anything else, I definitely recommend checking out the art of charm, you won't regret it and it's definitely helped catapult my life in the right direction. Since then, if you enjoy this show and really dig the content the artichoke has one of the most advanced social skills training programs in the world. Learn why corporations military special operations executives. Entrepreneurs Silicon Valley June. Nears VC's work with us to increase their emotional intelligence Goto, the artichoke dot com slash boot camp. To learn more and apply today. Get the skills to level up your career relationship and confidence in just five days. We'll see there. Welcome back to the Trump has some Johnny AJ in. Thank you for joining us on this show, where we help you with actual tips and strategies boost your emotional intelligence, advance your social skills and navigate all the nuances of social behavior this month on the show. We've been tackling dating. That's right. We've approached it from the very beginnings and explored the biology that influences all of us, and now we're rounding out the month like we always do the Q and A episode, and it certainly has been a fun month. You know, we've started in the space and it has been a long time since we talked about some of these, and it was nice to give everything an update for the twenty nine thousand nine era. Absolutely. And today, we're going to answer questions that you sent in many of them directed at dating or long-term romance. And joining us today is someone we are delighted to introduce Dr Laura Berman. She is a relationship therapist and host of the podcast, uncovered, she's. Also authored many books about relationships, intimacy love and sex. Her latest book is quantum love, and it's on the bookshelves now. So check it out. Dr Berman is a fantastic person to talk with, and I can't stress enough. How fun it was the hammer on the show? And remember, you can send us your questions about dating love relationships, social anxiety and anything else. We cover on this podcast. All you have to do is go over to the charm dot com. Sauce questions, share your question. You could also hit us up on Instagram at the art of charm plus AJ and I are there as well. I'm ASC Johnny an age as there as AJ harbor. We also want to remind you that we run live in person advanced social skills training programs here in sunny, Los Angeles. Yes. And they are filled with over twelve years of a Mercer of coaching experience. So if you enjoy what you here on this show, but you feel stuck or want to sharpen your social skills and gain an edge on your competition. Our signature boot camp is where you want to. Be. Imagine taking the material you here on this show each week to the next level working with our team of social dynamics experts who will help you level up, your networking skills, and boost your emotional intelligence, if you want. To learn more about these world-class boot camp programs. Check us out at the art of charm dot com slash bootcamp. We'd love to work with you and one more thing. Remember to listen out for our challenge. End each episode. That's right, each one is a fun, little assignment designed to give you a little push at the start of your week. We don't make them tough impossible or scary. We just went offer. You something that you can achieve a little effort, something you could test out on your own and Phil accomplished about it afterwards. That's right. Last week's challenge was tied into our discussion with professor Jeffrey Miller. And it goes like this spend this week thing at a three high-value traits that you're just okay, then rent them down after ask yourself, what can I do to bring those traits to a better level? Maybe even excellent. We'd love to hear about your experiences. So send them our way it super easy. You heard at the top head on over to the art of charm dot com slash questions to write or record your voice, or Email us questions at the art of charm dot com. Let's get this started. Love to hear first and foremost, you know what drew you to relationship and sex therapy. I know it's pretty exciting to hear on the show. And, and we've talked to a number of them over the years, but I'm always curious as to the back story of how the heck do you, someone at once asked me? How do you end up looking acting and seeming like Elwood's? But you can talk about orgasms like the weather because I am sort of this girly girl, you know, crisply whatever, but I wish I had like a really compelling transformational story. But honestly, most of my career has launched in every phase out of my own anger at the system. And so I was raised in a family, very rare for whatever reason was really comfortable with the topics sometimes too comfortable, but it was never weird. It was never taboo could ask any question as long as I brush, my mother hair. She loved to have her. Airbrushed. I could ask her any question I wanted, and she would answer. I was never shamed. I wasn't supposed to go out and do it willy nilly, but my body was nothing to be ashamed of sex was nothing be shamed of. So it was just naturally, and I didn't realize until much later that was weird. And then when I got to grad and I was my parents therapist for most of my life. I was one of those parental child children. And so, I, of course went to graduate school. I wanted to be a therapist, couple's therapist. Then I very quickly when I was doing my field, placements and under supervision. All these couples were talking to me about their sexual issues. And as you're supposed to do I would go to my supervisor and say, okay, she's not having orgasms or he's not interested in sex, or he has wrecked out whatever it was, and they would look at me like a pervert and be like, what he mean. What are you asking them? I was like, I don't know it just kinda comes up. And I realized that ended up being the topic of my doctoral dissertation. The variables that predicted for clinicians willingness to talk about these issues and it, and it pissed me. Off that my teachers by professors. My supervisors were not comfortable with us. We're not teaching it, and we're expecting anyone including themselves to be a couples therapist that doesn't address sex. I mean that's ridiculous. So I got mad and I kind of cobbled together, I talked my way until a medical fellowship in sex therapy. And I figured it out and got more training and cobbled together, you know that specialty but I'm first and foremost a Cup an expert on Levin relationships. But I can talk about orgasms like the weather curious in that story was that environment that you grew up and was that premeditated. Or is it just the way they sort of were in the way it just was not remember -tated? In fact, it was a little over sexualize. My dad was a colon and rectal surgeon. Okay. So we, you know, there was there were I come from a very filterless boundary lists family. So everything is discussed and you can say anything anyway. What because your family and it took me a long time. Like my dad handed me a Cosmo article when I was fourteen years old. What didn't even have a boyfriend yet on how to how to give oral sex, which is kind of traumatic looking like it's kind of freaky, and like a little too much over sexualize like today, if you saw that happen, I would like be concerned about a fourteen year old getting that from their father. But it was just like it was just the way they were they were naked all that it was just the way it was it was the seventies also so that helped helps yes, but the brigand into modern times to have to give the article out. They're just going to learn it much earlier from the internet. Anyway. In a very vulgar manner. Right. Right. I mean, listen, I benefited from the tips in that article greatly. But, but yeah, that's I teach sex. I love I've been developing curriculums and teaching sex, Ed for my entire career. And I'm actually working with a school in Los Angeles now oakwood school, which isn't too far from here, and I do their sex education program, and mostly with fifth, and sixth graders. And I teach that, I mean, I've had to perform, but we talk about the quitter s and we talk about self stimulation and we talk about, you know, the right context for for Saks and what a relationship that is also sexual should look like. And I think this is the kind of stuff that just isn't what sexual respect looks like you know, and this just isn't really taught and then some of the parents for the most part are really receptive, but they sometimes get anxious in the like you know what do you mean my kid came home because I let them aunt, I let them ask anonymous questions and in the end of every class, I answer, some and so on this one occasion, I had three anonymous questions on what is sixty nine and these were sixth graders and I already assured. The parents that I wasn't going to be getting into like positions and techniques. That's not what this class was about. But because three of them had asked, I knew that it was now being discussed. They were going to Google it. They were gonna get a lot more information than I was about to tell them. So I said it is when because we talked about the right context they have to talk to their parents about what that is, and all the other variables. I said, but in the right context, is when two people kiss each other's genitals. Like I didn't discuss anything like that. But I told them the answer, and the reason I did, and I did get a little pushback from some of the more paranoid, parents is because I knew they were going to Google it. And get right. Really what the parents didn't want them to see from, from the technology that is all around us and going to guess that you've been doing this for quite a while that being able to see the transition from from when it was a bit more innocent of. A topic to now this topic where they have all these preconceived notions of things that they have put together because of what they have seen on the internet. And now it comes to you as questions or an attitude or an idea about sex anything from the from the, you know, big mouth cartoon that they watch, you know, two things they're looking up on the internet to the fact that I've had this. I have three boys. I have had this conversation with my boys many times, there's all of this research coming out, and I'm seeing clinically because they have such unfettered and no matter how lax you put up. They have such unfettered access to porn, if they want it. Any type of fanny tight point with growing up for us. We were laughing about this, you know, it was vanilla was a magazine was the national, I remember National Geographic, I remember sneaking under my parents like bed to find the joy of sex. Remember that book and we look at the picture, you know. Yeah it's very different now. And this unfettered access is harming us in our youth, but in adulthood, having healthy relationships, especially sexual relationships. Well. I used to say to them. Okay. Look just so you know, porn is not. It is not a place to get your sex education. It is not what turns a woman on. It is not how real women look like what they look like it's not what real men look like. But now I just had this because I have a line of sexual aids and devices and I do have some in a in my closet in this like container. And of course, my kid's well sometimes with their friends when they're being, you know, provocative we'll go in there. And so one of them came to me, recently and said, I know you have this device for men. Can I have one and I said, sure, but you have to use it. You can't use it with porn. You have to use it with fantasy and he looked at me like what? What in the heck is that like he had no clue? And I was like, well, I like I literally I so you know, if you see someone who you really attracted to, or maybe somebody you like like you imagine what you might like to do with them, or you imagine them naked, like use your imagination. That's what it is. And like I explained to him because we now know neurologically that not doing that. Not only affects their ability to be intimate, and their expectations and of what people look like are what sex is, but it starts to affect their ability to get aroused by something other. It creates a visual like q that is required. A certain kind of visual cues to nap to connection that they then become dependent on in order to get aroused. Those certain angle, I've never thought about certainly growing up an needing to use imagination to the best. Ability as we used to say, file it away. Rather than for you to, to say them just like, oh, my God. Like there's no filing away. And he just. New thing is available to that's the other thing is at this point, you could go to every end of the earth and still not run out of four graffiti. There's so much out there. And this endless knew where we were talking about this dating to this paradox of choice that we're all confronted with online dating. This new market as exploded and what we've heard from our audience, this past month really is a lot of people are struggling in this arena, some because they're taking it too seriously, some because they can't figure out what's the right choice for them. Right. And there's such a huge choice. I guess it's an overload of options. So there's no commitment. Let me just keep texting you Yuan texting thirty other people. And you know, it'll be three months before I consider meeting with you. Because I got a, you know, and within a few weeks, I'm also going to sex to you. And if you don't respond. Accordingly. Then I'm going to you know there's a it's a mess. Yeah. No with that, you know, for our single members of the audience, if they feel this paradox of choice, they're struggling to find the right person. What is your advice for them? Well, I think with love and, and I feel very strongly about this, and it's the same thing with anything else in you in life that you want. It's about moving into alignment with that, what you desire, and I think one of the problems and the fundamental core underneath the paradox of choice that is not only around online dating, but everything everywhere is taking the time to get extremely clear on what you, actually want, you know. Not like the physical amount fine physical characteristics. Whatever. But maybe one or two should be how much that person may, sir. How tall they are or what they look like. But what I really urge people to focus on before they even launched into any kind of dating including online dating is, and I do this with couples to how do you want to feel if you have that person sitting next to you waking up with you every morning, spending the day with you. How do you feel five feelings that you want to feel in love, you know, appreciated passionate adventurous, playful, whatever those things are. Those are your fundamental core longings and anytime we're having a relationship with someone else. We're actually having a relationship with ourselves through that person. I mean that's all love is really any relationship is. So you get really, really clear on how you wanna feel in love, and that becomes your litmus test, and you marinate in those feelings, all day, every day, not even. Dating. So if you want more playfulness go involved, you know, go to the dog park every day go, and volunteer with it. Kids play group, do something every day that makes you feel playful or passionate or honest, or whatever that is. And as you do that it literally is attracting, and people that are aligned with those feelings. And so, literally clears the pl- it clears the paradox of choice automatically and then that becomes your litmus for dating as well. Is this someone who I'm because now I know what it's like to live in the soup of playfulness or whatever that thing is. So sitting across from this person my feeling that energy, right? It's not it's no longer in your head. It's now in your system in this feeling of well there's another better person just around the corner. You know, we talked about this too about how back in the day for us dating with fewer options, you didn't right people. Off as fast as you do these days. And that was the other thing that we heard from our audience is like, you know. Yeah, this person's great. But yeah. And the butts have now become so small, it's like, well, how are you ever gonna choose? Well, you, I'll tell you something really interesting. That's interesting. You mentioned that because I just I'm partnering now I just started with them. There's this company, they were first dating site called faira more. I don't know if you've heard of them, but it's a really cool concept because it was a genealogist adorable young woman who's a PHD in genetics. And she and, you know, we know the science I can get into it with you, but it's been out there for a while about a DNA match right? Like if you if you, you can, if you have to similar, basically DNA to someone else in certain certain aspects of DNA, you're not gonna have attraction, you're not going to have alignment. There's an so what they found is they would match people according to a couple of social emotional factors. But according to their. Netted compatibility and what they found in particular for women. But also for men is that they were giving these dates that they would normally write off a second third and fourth date because of the genetic match. And when they did that, then they were like, wow. I really like this person. So when they had that impetus to give it to look past the hair color, or whatever the stupid thing was that they wrote off the person for they actually fell in love the attached greater, meaning, yes, this genetic match. Yeah. And they held on for longer. Instead of oh, swipe life is Johnny likes to climb onto the next option. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I'm just living in their marketing dubbed this girlfriend that literate lives in New York City and literally ran out of options. They said we no longer have a match for you, because she had swiped the wrong direction for that his shirt doesn't like his shirt in the picture doesn't like his smile looks a little creepy like stupid stuff, or Jack trajectories. It's almost as if life is imitating are in the art that were imitating is the, the narcissistic tendencies and, and, and self absorption of Seinfeld. Like the like bags. Yeah. And of course, you know with that show. I mean, we didn't even have the title yet. Right. They just had dogs Dr twitches from living in the city being so self absorbed. Hey, listeners if you're like me, or Johnny or millions of other people well Mondays can be ridiculously busy, and that means making time to eat can be a struggle, struggle city, which is why we started using sun basket, the home delivery meal. 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Now, the other frustration that our audience came to us with is this me too movement, and how to date in this new movement in this new era and how to make consent sexy. So we started this month talking about that consent defining and understanding it and the big thing for me. The highlight was that it's ongoing that it's something that's not just a check box, and we talked about this. A lot of us. Learn it in sex. Ed, as you get the yes. Okay. Then everything's on the table. But no, not at all time all the time and it gets even if you've had sex with someone twenty times, and then I mean, not if you're married, or in a relationship, like, is it? Okay if I kiss you, you know, that would be interesting. But, but if for some reason that person is unwilling, and doesn't give their affirmative consent even after having had sex with you. It's still considered assault or rape, or whatever it's going to be. So it is really tricky. I mean, I sometimes jet that I like want to invent an. App where like in the moment, you're like sign here that you give your consent. Because as a mom of boys, I often because they're good, guys. But you know it's concerning. So what what advice do you have for the guys right now? That, that we're talking to, you are feeling frozen. They're feeling that any advance could be seen in a negative light and now could have potential repercussions outside of just their social lives. Right. Well, I think it's first of all being really clean with your intentions, and with wear like obviously be really careful about the workplace be really careful with people who have, you know who you have any power over at work or anywhere else. And if you are a celebrity or someone who, theoretically has emotional, or social power over everyone, you have to be extra careful. Right. But if your average Joe you wanna keep those things in mind and then you wanna be really, really conscious and careful and clear. And I think this is the hardest thing and also one of the things that I'm most excited about because I think it's going to be so good. Once we. This is that most of the stuff we're not comfortable talking about. We just kind of want to fall into sex in the dark, you know, and just kind of let it happen. So we don't have to actually use the words and have the conversation, which is fundamental to having a good sexual relationship. So this is actually requiring that you get more verbal and that you actually have the conversation and that you go up to a woman, and I was just reading this statistic. The other day on my show that sixty five percent of women only want to be asked out face to face. They do not wanna phone call. They do not want to definitely don't want tax. None of them wanna test, but they want face to face, and so really practicing and getting in the habit of looking going up to a woman putting on your big boy, pants like scary. You might be rejected, but going up during say, look, I find you really interesting or I I've been watching you're really beautiful. It's totally fine to say, no, but I'm wondering if I can take you out or if I can whatever. What is so fascinating about that is no one is doing face to face at everyone is going to the app. Everyone is texting it. So if you do it not only do women want it stat that women want stand out, right? You want to talk about paradox of choice is no other choice that guy hands out, you stand out and really all men. We all any of us want is to feel really seen and safe and delighted in and to be in alignment with those feelings. We most want to feel in love. And if you move from that place into your dating life, it's much more successful. We all wanna feel wanted, and we want to feel like your first choice. He's absent fortunately, make us feel like the thirty fourth ninety seven and it's like a business meeting like boom, boom boom, you know, so this one, I was telling you about that ran out of options in New York City, like literally on the first conversation. So are you gainfully employed or not because she'd been through? Enough that weren't, like you just get an your questions lined up. You forget, that this is the first time you're meeting this person. But to you, it's the eightieth person you've met. Right. But you have to treat each person like the I don't like fresh clean the slate you keep those things in mind, you're not stupid, but first and only person I'm meeting, Johnny has an interesting strategy about that clean slate going into the state. I've been saying on the pike has, you know, we were in this age with all this technology. There's so much information, what I have noticed as everyone when they get the maj. They do some texting they get their social media. They swap him fell. No one's talking. No one suffice officia now you've set up a date, and you have this person's info. And then you started scrolling. You learning all these stuff stuff about it. But you have no context for any of this, because of this, your mind is going to put together some sort of plan of how you're going to go into this conversation where you're going to want it to go because, hey, look, if I can get her into this area, we have plenty to talk about swing. So now you have this plan, you have this agenda, and, of course, the conversation is forced. It's everyone's up tight. There was no one. Discover exactly. And even for myself when these apps first came out, I fell into that whole thing as well. It's tempting and what I had noticed was a drastic change in how the conversations and the first day it said, went when I had just went in, and it would be, I would we get the match text back and forth a couple of times. Hey, let me shoot you a call and chat for bet. If the chat was well, like okay, well, let's meet out a lot of women get away and one one moment. When I had done after we had chatted. She goes, you know what I thought it was so weird that you wanted to talk to me. And then I realized that's what real men do. And she goes, thank you very much for snap me out of this. And, and she's like, yes, we'll love to go on a date. So then but when I had went on these dates with out any information, just only the opportunity of the conversation that we had and a couple of pictures that we had seen on the profile. Now my attention was rather on. On where I'm going to steer the conversation or what are we gonna talk about? My conversation is paying attention and be present for the other person. I agree with you one hundred percent. I mean, I think the thing where where women run into in particular is they get scared. So they wanna make they wanna Google that person to make sure he works where he says he isn't married or whatever. But and I'm fine with that. But I absolutely agree that the thing that is going to most predict for your success. With anyone is to go out soon. So I always say, do not taxed and have these back and forth for more than two weeks before you meets we so the challenge of five messages, back and forth. Fight off the I'm with you. I'm with you. And when you meet them like you're saying, if you haven't if you can just be fully present me here, now look them in the I feel their energy just treat it as like. Ooh goodie. I get excavate. I get to get to know this person, I get to discover who they are. And just like I would anyone else. Well the results. That was comparatively where going in with all this information was, it was tense, it was stressful at it was an we're out of we have an agenda, but going in paying attention being present and allowing the emotional bids to carry the conversation. Whoever it was going to go. It was a very fun date. Can feel it feel the difference one hundred percent absoulutely. They were fund or was there was, there was no tension. It was just the conversations flow. They just went all over the place. And we were laughing even if these conversations went to, like, the no territory of the old adage of Bill talk about politics or religion. I eight because we were present, and we were allowing the emotional bids ago where the conversation is conversations going to go even if we stumbled in that territory. We had very spirited fun conversations about those topics with without trying to force, a my reasoning or or positions. It was an open discussion and they were and it was wonderful and it was. And so we've been on the for this whole month encouraging people not to go into these dates with these preplanned scripted ideas, where it's going to go and develop skills, and being present and focusing on emotional bids, then you're gonna. Have to turn the phone often. Not only turn it off, like a way off the table. That is a deal breaker, but, you know, it's interesting because we were talking earlier about sort of this social emotional intelligence, and how we're kind of evolving to this point where it's hard to look each other in the eye much less be present with each other without distractions. I also find that in part because of that, but also because of other things, there are so many men and women. But if we're talking about men who just are so unbelievably anxious and so worried about rejection that it soothes them to know. Okay. I have a couple of discussion points in my back pocket. You know, and I know what I'm going to say and like it adds a sense of security. So I think one of the rate limiting factors in order to be in this beautiful space that you're talking about is in really getting clear that it is okay if you are rejected it is it does not mean. Mean that you aren't worthy of love. You can maybe sometimes get feedback and information from that experience that will help you learn how to maybe do something different than next time. But a lot of times it has nothing to do with you. You could be an amazing guy, and the woman that you're with feel so bad about herself. She says she wants a nice guy, but every time she's with a nice guy, she thinks what the hell's wrong with you. If you're that intimate, you must be a loser and has nothing to do with you, the anxiety that you were discussing with interesting about that is, of course, everyone's going in the first, and of course, everyone's a little bit nervous, you're meeting somebody for the first time. So all the social media, it feeds, those insecurities by giving you all this information. Don't be tempted to do that now but going in without that information. Well, you're going to be a little bit more nervous going in. But I can tell you the joy that you'll get out of the conversation that connection you're gonna make afterwards, we're going to fill so much more fulfilled from the day, then you would have tried to bang the. Conversation, certain directions, and then leaving not feeling like there was a real connection robot and hoping that we'll hope she enjoyed it. And it's like well, if you didn't enjoy it, right. Her to enjoy it. Yeah. You know, I often have guys because I'll coach them through this process. And I talked to so many men work with them who struggle at this, and I will have them go, like, okay, your assignment, is. You're going to go to the grocery store or the caught, like low stakes practice talk to the barista as you're getting your coffee practice the eye contact. Get to know them as if you've never looked at there, because you haven't ever looked at their social media, right? You don't know anything about the make conversation in maybe at first year even if you're attracted to women, you're practicing with guys and then you practice with the woman at the checkout counter or somewhere. And then you kind of get much more comfortable just having a conversation, this, these are skills that you're either sharpening, or they dull right? Like lawn tools in the shed. They doll if they're not used and our social skills aren't being used a lot of us have jobs that involve computers, emails, tax, a lot of us are now balancing work from home, where we don't even go into an office. Space and have any human interaction. And by the way, as we talked about we get everything delivered to us as well. We're these opportunities for socialization are now out of the equation, and these social skills dull and then to Johnny's point now we have high stakes don't want to be rejected on a date. And we're expecting all of this to just magically come together. It doesn't work like that. Yeah. So AJ. I am loving these sacks. I know it's baseball season and it's time to start talking about the ballpark pouch. Yeah, I gotta say they are probably the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn. In fact, I've cancelled my other subscription service. I was gonna say you bought a lot of underwear over the years. So I'm pretty impressed by that recommendation. That's right. I think everyone enjoys comfortable underwear we all deserve onto that feels good provide support and leaves us feeling ready for river, that date is gonna take us. That's why we love Saks underwear. It's the only men's underwear specifically designed with our anatomy, in mind. That's right. Saks underwears patented ballpark pouch is a game changer. And vented, of course by baseball player as these internal mesh panels that keep everything in place. Imagine feeling supported in all of your experiences. Then there's the super soft moisture waking fabrics. It's moisture wyking fabric that allow our boys breathe, and they're. There's nothing more free and breathe -able then Saxon were, especially when I'm on stage. I know you had a show recently, Johnny, how did the underwear hold up? It was amazing and felt so comfortable didn't even know one Saks underwear are hands down the best. I absolutely love their athletic styles. In fact, I have a story about this product that starts in Montreal. I was actually at an event, and I met the sister of the co founder of the company and she sent me a pair underwear and it was such an incredible gift. We want you to try Saxon were too. So we've arranged a great limited time deal for you. Yes. Five dollars off, plus free shipping on your first purchase. But to get this offer entities are promo code chime at checkout. Order a few pairs of sax now with this great offer. Go to Saks underwear. S A, X, X underwear dot com. That's sacks with two axes and use the promo code charm at checkout. Remember, Saks underwear dot com, promo code charm. This week. Support for the of charm podcast comes from manscaping. Who's number one in men's well below the belt grooming. Yes, when that box showed up, I knew we had I was pretty excited loads of people shave every day. And sometimes, you know in that area. So we know we need the right tools. We all know razor down. There needs to be a comfortable experience. Exactly. You don't want to use the same trimmer on your face that you use well down below, which is why manscaping offers precision engineered tools for manscaping. They give you the right tool for the job. They're perfect package. Two point. Oh kit. Well at features the lawnmower, two point oh. And that thing when I turned that clipper on, on new. I had the right tool for the job. I'm happy. I'm well man's gave right now and what their skin safe technology while this trimmer is not going to Nick or snag your you know what? It's also one hundred percent waterproof so you can use it in the shower. All right. That's awesome precision tools for your family jewels. Get twenty percent off free shipping and a free travel bag. If you had on over to manscaping dot com and enter the code charm at checkout, manscaping dot com. Use the promo code charm. We have a great question here. I one from Rosh. She's looking for tips on building a relationship with little free time. He says, I'm a single dad and I have kids, three nights a week. I also worked two nights a week. So that leaves me two nights to go out and be social. I was able to have a one year relationship with the schedule. But one of the reasons that ended was my lack of free time with love any advice, particularly on how to set the expectation in the beginning. Well, I mean, I think the most important thing if you're a parent, and especially if you have your kids three days a week is that you only want to date, people who you know, at least in theory, and from their own perspective on are open to that and aligned with that. Right. And so that clears the way of lot of women right off the bat, obviously, you want to set that expectation from the beginning, and there will be many women like if you're dating a twenty year old who wants to go out partying every night, she's not going to be a good match for you. You know if you're dating a woman, who's around your same age or maybe as a mother herself. F- then she totally gets it. And you have to be flexible. Right. So this person is probably I wouldn't rule these other women out, but you're probably going to do best with a woman who can make her own hours, because those two days that you aren't working, when you work at night, you can have a daytime day. Right. So, so you wanna you wanna kinda manifest item out saying rule out someone with a nine to five job, but you want to really set an intention for attracting, and a woman who's flexible, who has kids are like skits, or wants kids, who isn't looking party, all the time who has a flexible schedule. Ideally, and yes, you state, those intentions from the beginning, you say, look, this is my schedule is pretty set. These are the times every week that I know I have free time and the way that my life works right now is that that is where my dating and relationships occur. You know, are you going to be okay with that? Because I really like you and I wanna keep dating you but I wanna make. Sure before my heart gets too far into this that, you know, that's cool. I want to add that a lot of times we say things, but our actions don't match them. And in these situations, when we meet someone new or excited about them. We may push the kids off on our spouse and extra day to get that third day in that fourth day in. And then all of a sudden, we get upset three or four months down the rot line. We're like, what I only have these two days for you now because the expectation you may have said, I only have these days, but your actions said something activists have to match your words. That's very important in this scenario, the other thing in this is a broader commentary here that we get from a lot of our audience members. Who are, you know, their parents? They're back in the dating world. And they don't know when to bring up the conversation about, hey, I have a child. Absolutely. Yeah. File and screen them out. Yes. It was one of the best litmus tests. I had when I was a single mother, like I got rid of so many men off the bat who didn't want to date, a single mother, boom done, or who didn't like kids. Boom done. Absolutely. It's easy. And this idea of hiding it waiting till the third day. Get in there later. It just obsessed the other person. It's a waste of everyone's time. And it's not honoring, who you are what you want is back to knowing what you want. Right. Not just like getting that second and third day. What do you want what you want in this case among other things is someone who is wants to be a co parent, you know, someone who is on board with you being a parent? That is fundamental. If you're a parent absolutely says, no getting around now. So instead of pretending it's not they're hiding it for some later date. Be open and honest about it. Yeah. Fabian, Asas, once I'm talking to women. I'm really interested in I get really nervous in my mind, actually goes blank. I'm even blind to signals that she's potentially sending even if that would normally be something that should help me, calm, down candy of Email friend, even pointed out the clear signals from one woman, I was getting when I'm not interested in someone more. When I know she's in a relationship I have absolutely no trouble. Speaking makes plus I'm normally not afraid of new situations or unpleasant interactions. What can I do? So can I do you mind if I go a little deep? Yeah. So what this says to me, and this is very, very common. He has a really complicated relationship, most likely with his mom, lots of criticism. Lots of rejection growing up. So people like that can be very confident on the sports field or in the classroom. But when it comes to the deepest, emotional connections, the most vulnerable emotional. Inactions the history is again and again that you're not enough and the parent almost never wants to give that they, they're trying to shape you or kick your butt into doing something or whatever it is, or they have their own issues. But what happens with the child because children are so fundamentally narcissistic? Everything is because of them. Right. So if mom, you know, isn't showing up for me or or leaves me or criticizes me. It's because of me if I were more of something or less of something, then I would be worthy of love. So this is a guy who fundamentally does not know how worthy of love he is. So the reason he freezes when he really likes someone is because now the stakes are really high and he thinks he's going to be rejected. And so he goes back to being, I can tell you when it started. I have this weird ability to tell when abuse starts, I can feel it started when he was he became conscious of it when he was around six or seven so, for someone like this, I want him to be in some sort of coaching or therapy. Or process where he's really working on healing, the damage to his self worth. And that legacy that, that he's kind of adopting, and as he does that work and does more practice in his case, I wouldn't say obviously, he's fine with the lower stakes situations, but maybe a girl that he thinks he may really like but isn't a hundred percent. Sure. Right. Practice there for a while and the more practice. Like you said the sharpening of the law tool, you know, the better, he's going to get, but it fundamentally you have to with all dating and quite frankly, with anything in your relationship, you have to be willing to get your heart broken. I always say that you just have to be willing can't love. It's a part of the process of the fun. I mean it sucks when it happens, but every time it takes you wider, and higher and freer and clearer. Exactly it's for the right reasons. The rejection helps move ahead. Let me ask you this to go along with that. And I love what you had to say there, and I could. Clearly understand how that could play a role. What about what it manifests itself in the same way with this person if they've bins for lack of a better were wrapped in bubble wrap as a kid, where they've always the everything was they were protected all the time any obstacles in front of them were were taken out of. And so now they've learned in, in a work environment in a professional environment to take some lumps to do figure out some things. But once again, now that they're in, in this romantic area, they're afraid to get hurt to freight that can happen, especially you know, if you you're what you're talking about, obviously, is the development of that grit. Right. And that, too, nasty and that, that resilience, and if you weren't allowed to build resilience which, you know, let's face it. There are lots of helicopter parents out there, right? If you were unable to build that resilience than upon your first rejection, you will you will be someone who doesn't try if. At first, you don't succeed who doesn't try again. And so, yeah, in a case like this, it could be that he tried wants to make a connection with the woman. He really liked was rejected. He's like, forget it I'm not going to try it again. But the feeling I get from. So what I think in your case is more likely in a kit in a kid, who has raised like that is that he's going to be the foam. Oh guy. He's going to be not sticking with a relationship through the first hiccup you know, he's going to be someone who is more of an infatuation junkie. I call them some because we move in relationships from infatuation to attachment right in the beginning of the relationship, you can't get enough anything. Right. And then three months to three years later, depending on a committed yet you move into attachment. So for many call them infatuation junkies, because, as soon as they move into attachment, there they've fallen out of love, and now they're moving onto the next infatuation. So that's what I would imagine the bubble wrap kid would grow into culture, and, and we've seen a lot of these clients end up. Feeling like they settled. Right. Because they, they don't have the skills, and they haven't worked up the gumption to approach the people that are actually interested in, they find themselves in relationships that don't interest them that aren't attracted to them. They've settled. Exactly. And they feel to degree lost because it's like how did I ended up here? Well, you didn't put in the work to actually get the results wanted. Exactly the, the risk is rejection. But the other side of that risk is everything that you want. Yes. And his pink says the heart doesn't break. It just depends. I like that. Now, we have a pretty common question here from Pete, about keeping intimacy going in a long term relationship. And we've all heard of the famous honeymoon phase. I'm about six months into my long-term relationship. And I love it, but I also know how love and intimacy shift as a relationship grows older, I'm anxious about the honeymoon phase of my relationship ending. I hear exactly. I hear a lot of friends and family joke. About intimacy disappearing. Once you're in a long term committed relationship, what do intimate couples do to keep their romance in bed reasonably healthy and long lasting, so lots of thoughts on this. If we are talking about chest, keeping the physical connection going and a heterosexual relationship keeping the desire high what were, you know, a lot of what I see. Let's just talk about how the problem typically evolves is in what I call the sex romance stalemate because what, what women don't understand about man and went men. Don't understand about women if we're talking about heterosexual relationships is that men typically, the women achieve a sense of emotional, intimacy closeness through cuddling spending time together talking about their feelings. You know holding hands cuddling sharing. Right. And when that is a long term relationship, and I ll. Looked at I did a national study on what the most sexually satisfied. Women have in common in. It's not the number of orgasms are having or anything else. It is the closeness the emotional closeness. They feel with the person they're having sex with, that's a bigger. Biggest predictor not only for her enjoyment. But very, very important for her desire to be sexual, and what women don't understand about men is that most of them, achieved that sense of emotional, closeness through the physical act of sex and the hand holding spending time together sharing is a result of a deep sexual connection. So I see happen in that sex Roman stalemate. Is that now she's tired or they have some kids or they're under stress? She's less interested in sex withdraws a little bit. He not even aware of what's happening withdraws emotionally is less attentive as less romantic, as less tuned in as less connected. And then she's that much less inspired to have sex. So I think that's a really important thing that you. Can be aware of, in a relationship and the other thing everywhere I go anytime. I give a talk, I always get asked. And this is this is inside this question, too. How do you spice it up? You know, and I always say, look, I can give you very, very easily written many books on the topic, no problem, three hundred sixty five positions role plays toys, tools, whatever to do. And in a year year and a half, you'll be back asking for new right? It's the same thing that we were talking about earlier, more and more more. What's next? What's next, what's next? Right. And part of that is because we aren't really centering and getting clear on what we really want. We know we want something so, like, what's the new thing that'll get me back to the infatuation, but we aren't doing is taking advantage of the depth of the connection that the attachment phase afford, you, and recognizing that what you're really looking for when you're looking for spice is intensity right? That's what's that's the want. Underneath spice. Okay intensity. Sure can be created temporarily with Joep Amine surge in your brain from doing something brand new, but you know, it's only brand new once or twice. Right. So real intensity comes from that soul to soul connection from the depth from the willingness to take risks with each other from practicing some time, tra- techniques, taking sex to the next level. It's not just a new kinky spicy porn thing to do. All those things are great and fun. That's not going to give you what you really want and in your experience, this idea of the honeymoon phase are there signs or signals of a relationship that is going to be struggling. Well, if you don't have a straw, if your if your connection is primarily physical, and you don't have a strong emotional connection. If you don't have a good way to resolve conflict if you don't have a good way to be clear on what you want and articulated, in a supportive way. You're not going to have a successful sexual relationship with a woman. You're just not it all comes down to that communication. That's that is what we need. We need to feel and we need to feel like you're delighted in us, you know. And I think the biggest complaint that women, tell me in their long term relationships is that kissing has totally gone, by the wayside, except as part of foreplay, or when he wants to get something started, and there isn't enough emotional connection, and there isn't enough presence back to what you were saying before enough presence in the relationship, most couples, don't talk more than fifteen minutes a week about things other than the logistics of their lives. You know, they talk about the kids and work and trips and whatever, but they're not talking about anything else more than fifteen minutes a week. So right there, there's a lack of emotional connection. If you just invest in fifteen minutes, four times a week with the technology off some music on looking at each other face to face, and having a conversation about things other the logistics of your life, that in and of itself, will transform your relationship. I know that over the last year Amy and I in our relationship of instituted date nights weekly, and it's on the calendar. And we know that there are no devices, there's no conversation about that stuff. And it creates the space for us to have those moments because when you're both busy, and we don't even have kids, but I can't even exactly. You know, all your schedule sex. It's. Can't wait. Calendars wide open in that. Our next question is an important one as well. And this came in from social media, and we want to explore this a little bit here. My partner no longer finds me attractive, and it crushes myself esteem, we've been dating for some time. But now I'm afraid that my partner will grow apart from me. What can I do? Is this a male or female? So this was anonymous on our guest, the question that the one I really the main thing I want to know is how does this person know that their partner is an attracted to them anymore, right? Like what what's going on because I'm assuming that, that belief comes from a lack of availability and interest in having sex. Yeah. Right. And so from there, we just jumped you while I must suck. You know, I must be hideous. I must be fat. My Pena's must be too, small. Whatever those things are your worst insecurities, right? Come bubbling to the surface when in reality, she might be depressed or going through a hard time or feeling a real disconnection from you or. Just not really good at communication, and things are going on that she's not articulating. So it's really dangerous to just assume that it's about you, right? Because could have nothing to do with you. But unfortunately, that is a lot of our default. Of course. Everything's about us per signal is typically turnaround. Absolutely. And to end. It is the only way you're going to have a successful intimate, life, physically or emotionally is by really being vulnerable. You know, that's where we come to the heart bend thing. And taking risks is really saying, you know, I'm a little scared and I'm feeling really sad because I miss our physical connection. And I have a story that you're not attracted to me anymore. I don't know if that's true. But if it is true, let's talk about it. You know, maybe there's something I can do. Maybe there's not. But let's be honest with each other. And if there's something else going on, let's talk about that, too, because I really miss, you just creating the space for that conversation alone can help alleviate this, and I completely agree. I think that there's. A high likelihood here that they're misreading the situation and by internalizing it. They're doing damage to their self esteem needlessly that a conversation could avoid right? And as we adopt those, I mean, I worked so deeply that was a huge part of what my last book about about the stories we tell ourselves and how important those are, and it also changes you know, our, our, our thoughts and our beliefs, create our feelings, and our feelings, create an energetic frequency that beyond words, the other person, always feels. And so if you're walking around with this story that my partner is no longer attracted to me, and therefore, I feel bad about myself unwanted unlovable undesired. I am walking around with the energy of one who is undesirable so manifest itself. Exactly that, so these thoughts and beliefs and the stories that we share with ourselves are so important. How do we rewrite these stories? We've had members of our audience right in and say, I'm always in these same relationships. I'm always the bad. The bad boy, I'm always with the person who's not good for me. I'm always with the co dependent than the toxic person. How can we rewrite our stories well in, in situations like that? It's so important, I loved it. They're recognizing the pattern, right? That's the wariness half the battle. Right. So you're recognizing that there's a pattern. And now you recognize that if there's a pattern I'm the common denominator and then usually I mean, with all of those examples, you just gave all of those really everything is fundamentally connected to our own sense of self worth, and our worthiness of love, and so really like we go back to what I said, in the beginning that when we're having relationship with someone else, we're really having relationship with ourselves through that other person that really the past two clearing all of that is through the path to self love and accepting oneself. So that's part of it. But in terms of the stories, we tell ourselves it may not even be a pattern. It may just be an edge in your relationship like a great relationship, but we always fight about this. Thing or we always struggle with that thing or whatever, or in your dating life, you may not be a pattern, but you're just not having luck getting it past the third and fourth date or you start dating and then you break up, and it's getting really, really clear on what your stories and beliefs about you in love are. So if you're walking around with this story that all the good ones are taken or women are only after money or you know, I'm I don't aren't enough to ever get anyone to really want me or I'm too short to find love, you know, you can be guaranteed. That that's true though that's going to be the result. So there's a there's a process you know, I it's sort of the best metaphor that I have found is if you imagine, you know, you're on a in a country house and a little bunny. Rabbit comes to the edge of the yard, you know, and you want that bunny to come over to the porch where you're a rocket in the rocking chair. Right. You have to coax that you can't just say, hey. Bunny come here, you can't go and try to catch you could. But you're not going to do well to catch the bunny. You put a little carrot very close to where it peaked out of the woods, the first day, the second day, close local slow closer. And by the end, you've slowly worked up to and the same thing is true with our subconscious belief. So it's identifying what they are, and it's slowly being open to changing them. You can have all the positive speaker. I'm not gonna think I'm too short anymore. I'm beautiful. I'm good enough. I'm spur enough people like me, it's not gonna work because your subconscious is like go on with your bad self. That's not true. Right. So you have to say, okay, I feel like I'm too short to find love or that I'm not lovable. And I'm open to feeling differently. You know, I'm open to looking for ways in which I really am enough. And you slowly go through the process of changing those beliefs about yourself, and then you very quickly start to see how the world responds to you differently and then it reinforces itself. And the process starts to move in the other direction. Exactly that looking outside of that belief in that story, I. To start to see some evidence. Yeah, it's I wanted to say to you like give you. I'm not gonna make you sit here for ten seconds. But if I were to say to you, and I often like to do this when I give talks like look. I'm going to give you ten seconds to look around the room. And when we come back, I want you to tell me everything yellow that you saw in the room. And then when you come back, I say, okay, tell me everything read you have no freaking idea because you were looking through the filter of looking for yellow, and it's the same thing in love. And it's the same thing and looking for love. So if I am, if I have a belief that I am too fat too short tooth into port, whatever that is. I'm gonna find evidence for that everywhere. Everyone certainly will and the technology is going to add to Olen evidence as well. Certainly this is where we're seeing a lot of trouble with a lot of young people who have these stories makes them feel really bad. And then they have evidence to back this stories up through their own lens. They've colored defined those things then on top of that. Communities on the internet. Who, who the trolls that they can now addenda FAI with at feel good desserts. Other people like them and it may not be a healthy situation and health. All too short together. We're all. Yeah. What happens on that? It's just resentment and anger until something bad happens and the community of the oppressed. Right. Like, you know, they identify around their flaws rather around with strengths, and that's never a good thing, you want to be around people, who you identify with around the beautiful parts of yourself. Now, this is a question from female listener, who is dealing with a stoic significant other. How can I get my partner to open up? They've been resistant to opening up to me, and I feel like our communication is suffering because of it. Well, you know, get him to open up. He's going to have to choose to open up their things you can do to make it safer. There are things you can do to even require it. But the only way you can require it is being ready to leave. Right. So it has I always say that the, you know, the fear of leaving the situation has to be less than the pain that the situation. Causes. Right. So there's that pivotal tipping points. And if this woman is at that tipping point right now. Maybe she's just concerned, right? Or it's bothering her. But eventually, she may get to the point if you know, I'll talk about some other strategies. But if those strategies don't work where, you know, she really and you're not going to be able to have a successful emotionally close and intimate this physically intimate relationship with someone who you can't talk to, and it won't talk to you. So eventually, she has to sort of not bluffing, but really mean like I can't sustain a relationship like this. I know this is really hard for you and I know you probably have never had any training or awareness, or even experience or having it modeled growing up, what it's like to be in a healthy communication, but I can't function in a relationship like this, so we need help, and find a couple's therapist, or a coach or program like you guys who can because these are skills that most of us don't learn, but are easily teachable. And so that's the good news. Now from a strategic if you don't get to that point. You say look, you can even invite him to do something like that. Or you say, look, I wanna just let's just talk like you choose a low stakes situation. That's still a little tough. But like you're not going to talk about the weather, but maybe you'll talk about, you know where you wanna go on vacation. Where do you see yourself in five years? You know, things that aren't about deep, emotions and pain. But are you know optimistic but just get him talking? And then he gets the experience that, you know, he's going to be received. He's not going to be judged that you're interested in what he has to say that you're open to what he has to say that you may even disagree, but you're still really interested in what he says, and then after he does it. I always joke with women that I don't mean to insult you but men are a little bit like dogs in the way that you can train them, and so through positive feedback. So if after he has that conversation. Oh my God. I love that so much that was, like, so sexy to have you talked to me about like the oh my gosh. And the way that you said that thing about Greece, and like you give them a lot of positive feedback. So then he's like. Oh, that wasn't that hard? And look how much she liked it. And I haven't got a little action as a result. You know, there's that now that is that connection that it's not something that's scary, and bad and dangerous. Which is why guys don't do it. Women sometimes don't talk that this actually might be okay. And then you slowly so you're not going to get out of the box be talking about your relationship issues, or your sex life necessarily. But you can practice talking about these other things and work, your way up the focus on positive emotions and topics that have a level vulnerability, but aren't cutting to the core. Yes. And that reinforcement. I'll be honest, works both ways and women all in. Yes, positive reinforcement works across the horn. And what is positive reinforcement may be different for both? But yes, always the carrot stick up, salute to go along with that. I mean when you're talking with other people, you're there is a, there is a non verbal discussion of how each person is going to be treating each other. Whether it's turn. Away to motion bids turning into emotional bids using positive reinforcement, these negative reinforcement in all these are sending signals that whether you like it or not your subconscious, brain is picking up and you're putting puzzles together with this information, and those behaviors are going to be manifested from that the other thing I wanna highlight, and we do video work in our boot camps with our clients, where we actually film them, interacting and will, we find that so shocking to a lot of us is we have this vision in our head of how we perceive to the outside world. And, and how we are behaving and a lot of us, don't realize the unconscious, nonverbal signals were sending to other people when we're asking them to open up. We're looking down. We're closing our o'clock where exactly we're pulling away in these moments, when we're asking them to be really connected. So I would also turn the mirror back on this listener and say, okay, you want this person to be open. Are you being open and receptive? Moments. He can be open with right? Are you providing cues that are these non verbals in verbal cues tinge with some judgment tinged with maybe I don't want to hear what you say. But I do. Right. And that is jarring for a lot of us because let's be honest, we don't look at ourselves on camera, very often we are living in our own movie. And we're thinking things are appearing in ways that they often aren't attached to that. You know, we'd take in forty billion bits of information into our brains every millisecond, but we only consciously process, two thousand of them. So the rest is going into how do I feel, oh, I feel a little scared. I'm not going to speak up or whatever it is. That's all happening unconsciously, and then it creates a decision but it's happening. Thank you so much for joining so much. It sound much has a lot of fun. Loved all of your input and you have a fantastic show and podcast as well. That our audience can check out. Yeah. Uncovered radio so you can go to my website, which is Dr Laura Berman dot com. It's syndicated around the country. But if you, if you can't, you know, if it's not in your town, or if you don't know where it's playing you can go to uncover radio dot com or even to my website and click on uncovered radio. The podcast is called to escape for radio because I often answer the questions have not allowed to answer live on the air about sex, and I also just relaunched my website with a seven days to better sex free programs so you can go to doctor, Laura Berman dot com and get that for free to chill spice things out. I'm joking that whether you're in a relationship or not fantastic. Thank you so much, this great being with you. The auditorium podcast is produced by crystal, and, and Michael herald, the shows recorded the cuss media steers and sunny downtown Hollywood. An engineered by Danny Lubar and Bradley Jay. And I'm Johnny. Thanks relisting. We'll see next week have a fantastic week. Oh.

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Season 4, Episode 12  Hip to be Dad

Bad To The Dad

51:54 min | 3 months ago

Season 4, Episode 12 Hip to be Dad

"If you're the kind of dad who's proud of his dad bod even though it's missing a few parts then this is the podcast for you. The listeners are probably going adam. D what the hell are you talking about. Dad bod'ed with missing parts but we'll get into it. They call that the tease in the meantime. It's my pleasure to introduce the podcast. Celebrate suburban dad life and dad's from other habitats. Were also the fastest growing dad theme podcast and all of humanity show. You're listening to is called bad to the dad with coach randy and adam de my name is adam and i love introducing my good friend and partner the man with his growing in goatee coach. Ready looked like an oversized otter but coach randy. Looks good on you the free bowl of soup there you go early on we get the reference good for you out of d. had no this is my My cocooning i am beginning. Become out the new butterfly reinventing reinventing myself and you know coach. Who helps people reinvent themselves. You know. I'm glad that you asked becky. Burma burma's dot com for all of your graphic and website needs absolutely now. You mentioned berman. Cis dot com definitely go to burma dot com. Go to at berman branding on the social media instagram facebook but also go to at coach. Randy says go to add coach. Randy says what are you gonna find coach. You're gonna find a brand new reinvention of me coach randy having gone through my rebranding. And guess who i use us remember. Who else are you gonna use a bourbon. Cis dot com for all of my graphic needs new logo new website. I gotta tell ya. I'm happy and now we're going into the hall Marketing campaign introducing the new logo. I've got coach. Randy says is now full market. My whole brand. I've gotten rid of a project. Nexgen focusing on coach randy says lives. Sogame who's your coach. And of course the answer not rhetorically coach randy country eddie for yeah And i have my pride. My pride program. I have I know you have your coach game changer. Movement to being a game changer. i have For corporate. I have reinvented a whole program. Who corporate america in terms of being a game changer. In the office with your teams. I have been a game changer. Being ups dander for acceptance of cultural diversity Be a game changer in sports. So i love. I'm leveraging my expertise and hopefully that I can begin to regenerate us speaking engagements But i have to tell you adam deep. It is really hard not being able to speak to people are doing. I love to do so. I tell you what if you're if you're in a business of any kind large small and entrepreneurship nonprofit organization. I can tell you from experience. I've head coach. Randy speak at the three companies that i've worked for we're going go on for a fourth. We think that there's an opportunity where i'm at now. It's not only going to be extremely educational inspirational. But you're going to have a lot of fun. So that's why we slipped in. Becky berman with berman branding and gave a little plug the coach randy and we have a few other sponsors is listen this episode right. This is a big episode. let's getting paid for. That's that's for sure. First time i mean finally we we hot we hawk to heighten this special episode. Sixty fifth episode. I believe so if you're if you're doing the math at home and you carry the one this is number sixty five and it's it's got friendship and it's got sponsorship so in addition to to becky berman the movember campaign which highlighted in our week. Eleven episode of season brands by keith. Barbaria is sponsoring this week. And we wanna give a shout out to movember which of course is the men's health awareness and fundraising campaign grow. A moustache grow some fundraising raise awareness for men's health and that is moving and every month should be movember which is mustache november gore raising awareness for men's health. But it so happens november. Is that month and we wanna thank movember and keep barbaria for sponsoring us and we also yet. Yeah that's the website is most ember dot com movember dot com. So even though it's a movement it's a dot com not dot org so being mindful of that because if you go to movember dot org you're gonna see something completely different and we don't want you to see that so not keep everything. Pg thirteen so movember dot com keith. Barbaria thrown out a couple of dollars supporting s sponsoring as for sixty fifth episode. Love it love it and of course we're going to over promote As we would do for your business for that that fifteen dollars for the remainder of the season also wanna shout out to some anonymous teachers. Yes would like to thank all of this year's administrators and support staff. So you know. I work in the in the nursing business. And we've been talking about the first responder isn't frontline workers all those heroes that are taking care of people during the covid crisis abba those educators. You gotta be in the top ten this year. That is that is extremely difficult. Job like your like your wife jessica. Knee pick me. Pick me at md. Coach okay. I was hoping for somebody else to doesn't always participate. But since you have your hand raised. I will call on you. I go off. The board for spouses have educators in their house for four hundred at md. Four hundred yeah. I'll take one hundred. It's a video david daily double. Yeah hey well on respect to our To alphabet who is no longer with impassive member at on pop culture. Yes my wife. The amazing we call the amazing jessa because she is in her school's going through she's in warren township. She's an instructional specialist every day and they actually have kids in school. They have k. Through one in on a regular basis and they have other kids coming in. There's a they have had incredible work in township which always makes you wonder why some school districts are still in school kids coming in where understandable. I'm not questioning decision-makers. In our town our kids are still remote up. every day. she goes in. I kind of feel jealous. Because she's actually able to leave the house and people live with. I think our district is doing the right thing we've had cases every week. There's new cases. I think that our administration including the board of education has made the right call is all about all about keeping people safe including our educators as well as the sponsors an anonymous sponsor. Yes we know but it's not for anybody else to know that they just want us to acknowledge the the first line educators out there in our country doing an incredible job a hard job as a matter of fact just saw read. There is a professor. I believe in iowa iowa state communications professor. Who knows that. Many of her students in college aren't able to go home because you know there's restrictions whatnot. So what is this professor. Do he says. Listen if you're here and you're not with family you don't have food whatever it is. Let us know that we know. And i will personally deliver a thanksgiving dinner to you. Have roommates everything else. They're not with you. That are with you. There aren't let us know. How many will deliver food for you. Because we know it's important and even though we can't be together if you want to zoom whatever it is i care about your professor and sure enough the goes viral right and i i think that is the true essence of educators. You see us there. Some women who Headed to the hospital. She had a hernia. She's in the hospital and guess what she's doing engine which is in the hospital. She's all the class class. And i saw one who who is on a ventilator for covert who was playing a violin. Yeah the hospital. You know so. There's so much to say in terms of educators in this country. I'm hoping i'm hoping that maybe that the educators finally get an opportunity to be looked at in terms of just how valuable they are to our system of how we live that. It's not just about kids going to school that it also allows parents have people to work which increases the workforce in that teachers really are a special special pedigree our country so i love the fact that someone came out to sponsor these The educators administrators teachers in the world of education. When i see these teachers who are in the moment doing a hybrid type of class right where they have kids on screen on zoom and they have kids in the class you know in their in their little bubbles. It's like they're like one of these. Deejays ibiza where they've got like fifteen turntables going and you. You're sharing stuff on a blackboard which also sharing stuff on zoom and you're going back and forth and you're switching an at crazy your another question coach yes yes pitney pitney me. I just found it on teaching. A course my college how two principal sociology in its virtual is called a hydro flex. I think it sounds like something that you'd see in one of these a seen on tv commercials. Hi flex i think it's high flex so i will be in campus. I'm very excited to be on campus. And so there's room for a few students to sign up to be in class. Simultaneously have remote live being remote so he go from. You know face to face to remote. And so i'm going to be in that situation for winter break By winter course. It lily begins january fourth to january twentieth. So it's like from eight thirty to noon right so i will be in a situation. I'm gonna be like using the dual records and everything else tried to teach. So that'll be will be on break of course but i will be able to At least the journal to see how that goes. Be learning with coach randy. You might even be able to put together some sort of business book on how to do this how to do this right at least get some comedy out of it. Play comedy a lot of material. Jot down your experiences and hopefully you'll share them in the beginning of season five which should drop around early early february and by that point your class will be over so looking forward to those stories and we're also looking forward to our guest. Today who is marked for really goes by mark v. He is a comedian who went through hip replacement surgery during covid. So this isn't just your average run of the mill elective surgery. He had a degenerative condition where he had to get this done but still had to wait because what took precedent over the course of the last eight and a half months. Kobe hospital beds needed to be reserved for for covid patients. So great sense of humor. He's got a great delivery style. It yell says an instagram that we're gonna talk about where he's always posting jokes dad jokes or otherwise and you had to take a little break from his comedy career so he could get better and he's looking to relaunch it so Who could be the place where he relaunches his career with a couple of bits. So mark really will be on and just a few moments so i have a question if i recall. What if your company's workforce striker. Yes so here's the irony of the whole thing. Would striker make well. We made hospital beds and we made surgical equipment but our our bread and butter were hips and knees. Hip and knee replacements. So i worked with mark in human resources course within the orthopedics division of striker which makes hips and knees so the irony of course is that. Here's a guy who needed a hip replacement. I don't even know if he got a stryker hip. We'll have to ask him. And sometimes you choose the company's other times the companies choose you know it all. It all goes full circle all goes full circle and coach. Yeah to get on. But i just want to understand that we actually have three sponsors today. You got three. Becky yes technically. We have four because you. We slipped in coach. Randy says which is worth its while. Hey believe me all right. we've got member. Yes and we've got the thank you to educators to support staff to administrators anyone who makes the educational machine go especially during these wacky times. The buyer sixty fifth episode. We actually have not just one sponsor but several sponsors mazal tov yashar. Dutch doesn't want to make such a big deal of it. I just want you to know that there are people that are listening and they feel it's worthwhile to give us the fifteen dollars and let's not do a whole thing. I just putting it out there that if you want to spend fifteen dollars it's not much money you know. I'm not asking so much but this is what we're doing so a lot of different accents. Their mother to is like an israeli israeli shopkeeper. And but maybe maybe now it's time to move on so i was speaking of. You know the jewish things that was in. Cvs for the life of me. I couldn't find bought mitzvah card. I needed to find a bat mitzvah card and in cvs they were plum out. So i i which is good because i guess the bar mitzvahs are still happening or they're just assuming because there's no more market for bar mitzvahs. Yeah they're happening over zoom. Yeah you can't hand deliver the car do you have to send it in the mail but The whole rack of bar barnaby mitzvah cards stink tree of life. Pretty much owns the market there. That's the name of the the greeting card company. And i saw like one bar bar mitzvah card but i needed for a bot mitzvah. Something and do. I be that guy who buys the bought mitzvah card and crosses out bought and writes in bar. I don't wanna be those cheesy people. I wanna i wanna go through with it. I wanted to your so good cheese. Well listen in a pinch. You got it you to go with the cheese so no bar mitzvah cards. Okay i get it but here's something. I noticed which made me. I never noticed in years before there were a whole lot of happy thanksgiving cards. How i i don't know about you. I don't recall thanksgiving being a big greeting card holiday like. Did you ever send a happy thanksgiving card to a friend or receiver. Happy thanksgiving card from from a friend or loved one. I cannot say that maybe the idea is that We're just really. We're just reaching out for for days. I mean hallmark. It's a very good job creating days in so they're not selling many cards about anything else. Not a lot of joy in meadville. So maybe they're believing that thanksgiving to be one of those days. Go by cards just to send out some holiday. Cheer adam day. Maybe because people aren't going to be together at least send you the card. You know i'm thinking about you. Yes i guess that was unusual and downtown's day. Of course it's going to be coming up in a few months. But i'm wondering if those other obscure holidays are going to start getting cards like kay. What's that like arbor day. We're gonna send you know a card with the tree audit saying i hope i hope your trees flourish during these difficult times flag day. I hope your flag unfurled as the wrote. We're going to go to just to come up. With manufactured connection with people i think that given the nature of the times. I think that might have to be we are. We are forcing ways to reconnect ways. We never thought we would in hallmark for all of your holiday acknowledgement. Are they a fifteen dollar sponsor in the stop talking about them though. I think maybe what i might have to do is if these bar mitzvahs keep going to get a bunch of thanksgiving cards and cross out. Happy thanksgiving happy by mitzvah here. Snoopy dancing and a pilgrim outfit. Pull the football happy. Happy thanksgiving charlie brown. So i wish we got him d. How is your dad week. Oh man my my work. Week was murdered because We're working harder and longer than we did. In the beginning part of the pandemic. that's the way it is in healthcare problems. Although i imagine no exactly. It's a good problem to have but look we've got even the caretakers right The nurses and those that support the nurses there near now going out on leave because of covid so You know the day starts at sunup and it ends long after sundown every once in a while i get the squeeze in a workout. But we're doing we have to do so. I'm not saying this as a martyr able to squeeze around a golf in and coach if you've ever had a high five injury i know you've been in sports quite a while if you've ever experienced a high five injury or is that we to get five and you missed you do something you throw your back out. A kind of quite quite the opposite but same category of discussion so playing golf with my son. He's actually in a in a tournament and we're on this whole very challenging hole on a very challenging course and he's about one hundred thirty eight hundred forty yards from the green but there's a giant lake in front of the green. We call that a well protected green and he says well dad. Should i lay up and go with a lower club or should i use my hybrid. Which is one of the the more aggressive clubs and and try to go over the lake. And i say you know what here to learn right and you never shown a lack of courage. So why don't you just go for fast. Forwarding a little bit pulls out the hybrid gives it a good whack puts it right on the green about thirty feet from the hole outstanding. It's i am so excited for him. I yelp gay. I wind up. My hand holds his hand out. And i give it a whack. You could hear the thunder crack. Yes of our hi. Five in three towns over he writhes in pain and to be honest with you. I'm holding back tears myself. Could you do that. I can't feel my hand. Why would you rack my hand like that. I said eight. And i'm sorry. I was in the moment i was feeling it. I was so excited for you. I did not hold by the proud -ness of father i. I don't know what came over me so here. I'm injuring my child. Not even doing something athletic just celebrating and it was like a bullseye. it was palm to palm. And i have to tell you if my hand was numb tingling. I can only imagine what he felt or or did not feel. He said on the ride home dad for two holes. I couldn't feel my hand. I said yes but at least you were holding the club right. You weren't over squeezing the grids leasing. It's about working through the pain of work with the bane. That's that's great joy you've gotten very involved is the daddy caddy. It's been been a good experience. I thought we'd be going to these. These gulf events tournaments You know even playing recreationally and we'd be meeting a lot of parents but the parents have been absolutely amazing. It's really a lot of fun to meet the parents and the other gulf kids and we're learning a lot about the preparation. The practicing and and how one goes about the craft to being a better golfer. You're pretty darn good when you get out there because you've been taking lessons and you play pretty pretty well with dad on the weekends when you're just knocking at around then he get into these tournaments and these other events like oh no me. I'm a big fan of that. I have You know my situation. My week My two oldest. I think might be coming out next week for thanksgiving which is giving me some jump concerned but softball season is over but not winter training. it so I've had the pleasure of Both my girls We found new pitching coach in a female Pitching coach that which is Amazing the girls love her and Christine taylor and dodgeball almost like that. Christine taylor ball. And i gotta tell you. He's a guidance counselor in the school district. So she's got all the goods. She's a former de went pitcher. Just a remarkable human being and it's incredible how my daughter's align themselves so quickly in this particular pitching coach i get to sit back and play catcher as their pitching. Coach is a great idea And i watched it on amex in they connected with her so well and so for me. I now have my time with my girls. You know and i told him you know they always give me a hard time going. I don't wanna go to tired. I'm here doing tiktok computers but when they get there have found. Because i know michaela in four years and i'm not rushing for years. She's in college right. Breezy seven years. Super-quick super-quick so i sat there in bree asked a great question to the pitching coach because She's been pitching for a couple years but she's just she's not quite there yet And she knows it. She really wants to work hard and she asked coach question. Am i good for my age. Right trying to get some allegation complicated question. Complicated question and as a coach he said well the truth. Is i've only seen a couple times but it's not about your age is about the kind of work you put into work. You want your goals as long as you can do work hard and focus on what you wanna do a relevant. It's about you even being just goes and this is for life in general so just remember. This is about what you choose to do who you choose to be. And i sat there listening. I say anything i might. That is a kind of coach. I want for my daughter. Because i've said that to her but i'm debt Did he go outside the room. You find someone else. She got the card she was like. I really liked this coach. Derelict like this coach. She's yeah you gets me. So i will get my hour and a half with every week if my daughter's the doing softball but it was It's nice to know that when you find right. People in your kids lives decorated forfeit. You believe is value. dad So i could have been happier. And i think that tells my girls so just just so wise. We're not there to dad. You don't always have to be the one out there. Yeah as the better if you're not because they will actually listen to some find someone who matches. That's why i tell my kids. No you cannot come to me. Go to your uncle. Your aunt finds somebody But it just so happened that unexpectedly. It came in the version of coach. Who we just met in actually acknowledged thanked her without my kids out the end. She goes sculptures middle school kids. What do you expect. And i like. Well i just so you know. It's just my values in journey from you ever more likely listened to you in the army so it was released special. I'd put money on that that they would. They would listen to this person and the fact that she's also a female athlete who had success great role model. And what's even better is. Your wife is allowing you to be near her. And there's no restraining order yet not yet but give me time one or two lessons one or two lessons. The relationship is young bad to the dad. Coming up our guest mark for really stay tuned. We're beds at the dad with coach. Randy and adam de and yes. We are on social media. You have to be or you're just not a thing at bad to the dad that is our handle for most social media platforms that includes instagram facebook twitter and linked in. And don't forget our website which is dub dub dub dot bad to the dad dot com dub dub dub dot bad to the dad dot com. And if you want to interact with us you can diem us on social media or simply use good old fashioned email. The email is contact us at bed to the dad. Dot com contact us at bad to the dead dot com and Some of you did contact us at bad to the dead dot com this week because he had questions for our guest comedian and hip replacement patient or former hip replacement patient mark for really mark. Great to see you. Thanks for being on bad to the dead. Hey thanks for having me on. This is awesome on awesome navien. So so so take us back. Let's talk about the hip replacement back to the beginning when you got the diagnosis. You're young dude. You're you're in your early forties. Whoops baggy nails gets dropped on you. Yeah it's it's it's been crazy. It's been a rough couple of years at a the pulmonary embolisms or for people that are no blood. Clots that go up into your lungs or they can and they did for me so had blood clots all over my lungs back in two thousand sixteen. My back fell apart actually broke my spine had spinal fusion in two thousand and nineteen and then out of the blue in january of this year. Two thousand twenty I got diagnosed with something called osteoporosis. all the epidurals steroid cortisone shots. I had gotten from my back Caused a blood disorder which killed my joint so All of a sudden they got couldn't walk and I was it was funny. I was actually on the set of law and order. Svu background work for them. Day during an episode and I had to walk down the stairs and city hall like fifty times. And there's one hundred stairs if you've ever snap building and today i knew something was wrong. Say so i went to the doctor. The probably a couple of days later and he said Yeah we did an mri. We looked at your happen. It's dead you need a replacement immediately. i went in. You know they give you the class beforehand with eighteen. They tell you all the fun stuff that goes on with the hip surgery what to expect which is cool but they never told me that. When i woke up the morning they wouldn't surgery. I woke up and they're like well. You don't have your hip anymore. We took the left hip out but we couldn't put the new hip in because we had there was an infection and so and meanwhile i'm coming out of the anesthesia. My wife with me. And i'm thinking what. There's no way that that's not real. They'd ever said anything about that in the class. And then Yeah sure enough you know as it came to. They're like no you don't have a hip You had infection with we saw fluid and we thought it would be best if we didn't put the new implanted So you're going to go home we're going to put this Pick line in your arm and you're gonna get the antibiotics at home every day. Go into your heart area. And i knew that for six weeks twelve weeks you'll come back and you'll get your new hip so This was a week. Sorry yeah i get of my timeouts. I get three every so run packing this now. 'cause i gotta tell you i can tell you i'm going. Why all right all right. You have a pulmonary. Embolism a whole bunch of them. All over both my oliver which be deadly itself. Yeah exactly then thirty nine at thirty nine nine and so the never saw you know what you need more. We're gonna break your back. Yeah exactly right. Walk around like that for two years. All the doctors missed it because they miss it. And so you're you're banning whatever it is and so now you have a rod in your back. Yeah i got titanium plates. They use two of my discs together. And i couple hernia since above that. And then if that's not enough the diagnosed nineteen while the spine was. I saw the surge in january two thousand and nineteen and the operator february two thousand nineteen and then this happened january twenty twenty hour. I didn't tell us that. Alright see how this january twenty twenty four shadow and tell you you got issues with your hip and they go in and they just decided to take your hip out. yup yup. Well we do get it out. I just expected to have a new one cook So yeah that was a shock. Yeah there's like us so we put something in there cold the spacer and You know from our time at stryker Even i wasn't that familiar with it to be honest. And i were there for six years in orthopedics but yeah there's some called a spacer they just put it in there as an antibiotic space. It's basically holds the place for the hip so that nothing grows in there so forth at the. It's a it's a crank it's great that's the that's exactly what it is. Yeah it out. They took out just hip was gone. It was it was dead. It wasn't doing anything anyway. All it was doing was hurting me that you know. They're just l well. You can't walk for twelve weeks. You know you can use a walker and you can't put your foot on the ground now mind you. This was a week before they locked everything down for kobe that i have certain interests march nine so you are. You're pre devastation. Twenty twenty yeah. It was it was march ninth this. I had the surgery and week later. They locked down and everything else and So that it's funny. I tell people worked out well because my my wife was home daughters. Were here Know they're they're all they're nineteen seventeen so they were here to help me Know obviously i didn't want i could move very much But yeah pretty much stuck on the couch stuck in the bed and just twelve weeks of not having a hip. I didn't even know that was the thing knew was a thing. So thank you for informing hiding like a few things. Yeah there's a lot going on there. There's a lot going on w. b. dubs. So you know it's funny. We were joking before we started recording. About twenty twenty and everybody can't wait for twenty twenty to be over but you know they're still twenty twenty one. It's like that summer thirty. I at twelve eleven fifty nine. This is all going to be over some clean up even though we get a lot to do still. This isn't going away anytime soon. And don't get me wrong. I'm i'm so happy you know. They got a couple of accidents ready and We got a couple more on the way but holy crap has nothing ending anytime soon. Remarkable saying while i was in surgery murder hornet flew into the owari. Pumpkin some art. Let's let's talk about head space now so we know what's going on with the rest of your body complete deterioration but what what is going on in your head. It's this succession of of your body breaking down and then kobe and more waiting is happening. So how did you keep yourself energized and positive. I'll tell you one of the things that helped was Of say we made a lot of money this year. You know it was that that actually was really helpful My wife and i were had enough. And this is why. I was able to retire from human resources. was that We we were invested in a biotech company. That was a small company working on a vaccine for flu in older adults. Played this place novak's and They We placed a big bet on them back in january before all this happened. Where had surgery and stuff and trade at like six dollars a share. It was just something we've been a couple of years and then cove it happened. And i don't know if you've heard the name of the company over the next before but they jumped into the kobe vaccine hunt and our six dollar investment that are six dollars share investment that we push a lot of money into all of a sudden went up to one hundred ninety dollars a share so yes so in august. We offer house ten years early. You know we just we. We made a lot of money and it was. It was nice to that helped with the head space. We didn't have as much pressure all of a sudden but You know other than that. I in all seriousness. You know the body. It's it takes toll man. There's no question is why would turn to comedy You know after I think maybe no. Maybe don't know but i was working at adp. When i went out for the spinal fusion the last year there. I was completely breaking down. My back was gone. And i was flying over to arizona Pennsylvania kentucky florida old places a couple times a month the always on airplanes and stuff and when your body's breaking down and you're popping at that point probably eight to ten opioids every day percocet and everything else. You're you're a mess absolute mess and trying to keep your eyes and non-prize which was the job. It was hard man and you know the day. I came back from spun fusion I was in the office for five minutes and they told me i lost my job. 'cause they were doing big sales you know so It was actually a blessing. Because i want to be there anymore. I was hurt in. And i just needed to some time to get that head space back like you're talking about and then i went back in march. Two thousand nineteen and You know all of a sudden home. I could recuperate some more. I knew i was was to take some time off. But then i'm like you know what i got some fun stories. Let me go into comedy. You know. I think. I think i think i can do this comedy thing. And that's been such a huge help. I mean what did they say. Tragedy makes the best comedy right. And that's that's exactly how it works. You start you know. A lot of my act is about the crisis in america. And i can talk about it. Because i'm somebody. Who was stalking opioids forever. And i still into you know as i'm recovering from a hip surgery So yeah it's just Yeah i i think he just gotta get it out there and if you've laugh about it you make jokes that's That's what keeps me going anyway. Interesting mark is is how you're able to use physical trauma and tragedy of your own health to get you out of what you didn't want to do. I mean i think if you could have planted any better now. if you're up there and have it and say you know listen got it. Needs some guidance. Drench have this passion. I get into comedy. What do i do the first time it comes around. And god's edge univer says you know we're just gonna give you a pulmonary Amazon you know and you bend then is the sign but now you're you're not funny enough we need we need to know your dream is not there and then you know yet you come back the second time and now it's back what do you do. That's not the sign enough to say. Hey that's not the near death. Experiences needed with hr so find the third time is when he realised. Oh maybe the university is talking to me. Well you're you're saying this to an atheist so that's the funniest part of this but yeah i mean when the back was going down i knew it was over united. Just i just couldn't i was breaking down. I was stressed out. I probably would have heart attacks like go and honestly and Yeah just I got a nice package. When i left and leg said we were lucky enough to do well. This year with the investments in It's been nice because the rally is comedy. You don't make any money in the beginning. Then i just don't do a lot of shows where They put you on stage but you have to bring people to the place. The bringer shows You gotta bring three people. You gotta bring five people some places you gotta bring ten people. The bigger the bigger Comedy places so that's sort of the currency you get airtime you get video of what you did and That's just gotta start getting your name out there. So the unfortunate part of the hip thing and cova is that i was. I had last year for about seven or eight months where i was on stage almost every weekend and it was great. I got some material out there on instagram and facebook and stuff like that and then a covert hit the hip hit and now i haven't been on stage since december ended december last year. So yes unfortunately. I had to take a break and still forced to kobe. Because nothing's open stage. Yeah so it's it's it's lousy because i love it. It's the first time i did. I realized realized. Oh man i love this this you just oh god and it was funny adam. I think i told you the first time i did. I had no training in it or anything. I was just like you know what. I think i can do this. I don't mind the spotlight on the index. Let me go to this place. Gotham comedy club in new york city. Oh yeah and it's a big place. It's a big room so for the first time they ever do stand up. It's a little frightening But i always say do. Everything was totally unarmed confidence. And just get up there own the room and yes i was going to say what. What kind of material did you pretty much all. Hr stuff. and i. I have some bits about my my mom my dad. They're very patient very. They're very nice. 'cause i use them a lot. My act just in terms of my mom used facebook all the time because she doesn't tax and she doesn't use any technology at all But she gets on my dad's account on facebook and it will always say You know louvre really senior commenting on anything. Got a comedy show coming up here. You know picture of my daughter's whatever it might be and then my mother just shows up all the time with more. Your dad has a horrible ration his arm. we don't know what's going on I've been vomiting all day. Got bad diarrhea. And maybe we'll see you this weekend and this is on facebook facebook and You know i i i. Do you know a lot about that. The funniest thing is this one guy used to work with a friend of me on facebook after he saw the first show and he says you're not kidding about your mom. I just read your profile. She does that on your both. So what i learned. Is that the the the the the reality the true meal you know and and not that you don't tweak things a little bit of course but to me that was it. It was get up there and tell stories about each are changed them slightly to protect the innocent Where even the guilty. I guess you know you don't want to you know where it's funny. Yeah well but you know it was really funny. Was it a. It was a fantastic night. I as soon as i did. And i knew okay. I'm doing this This is fun but the best part was getting. I'm in the waiting area. Because they said you're going to of next. They called me into the waiting area in there like Petty say your last name. I'm like borelli and he said okay. We're gonna put you burn coal. You said it's. I'm good with that literally. The guy turns around to go announced me. He looks over my shoulder and says oh wait. We have to bump you jim. Gallagher just walked in because he comes in sometimes to try new material and we don't make him wait so he's gone in front of you and gaggenau standing next to me. And i'm like what i've never done. Stand up comedy before. Like i'm going to follow jim. Gaffe again and gaskin was blessed very nice and he said he's a it's his fa- i think he said it's his first time he's like also over here in wait. I'll do my thing so he doesn't have to follow me. just let him go. I and i was like i turned around to thank them. And the guy was already sitting down scribbling. He's got this giant notepad with stuff. I didn't get a chance to really thank them for doing it. But holy crap. I wanna follow gaskin my first time after gap again. Everyone's heading to the exit. So that was it. Yeah because i felt bad for the guy that was after him because he was funny and people were just worn out. 'cause gaskin did like twenty minutes larry's but yeah so i lucked out. I didn't have to follow him but that was like well. That's a story for for for the rest of my life work. Tell us tell us a little bit about your social media. Because i went on a couple of days ago and so you actually have some bits posted on your instagram account. There was some videos. I know when you were recovering on facebook and was it was great to break up the day with with some of the bits is quick. Hits jokes to now. Yes so. I think the front door was. I created the account to be a mark of the comedy. So america av comedy and Yeah i thought okay. Well i need a professional account to do this and So i did that. I have one on instagram on facebook. Every once in a while to something up on linked in because You know this is what i'm going to be doing for a living now but yeah so It's fun I took a break when i was recovering. Because it was just On sales of grumpy bastard all day every day. I didn't wanna do much but you know get on the show here. I think i told you it's. It's nice this is perfect timing. Because i'm about to get you know. Get back up and running for it. Well not literally. Of course. But i can't run anymore but yeah so the social media's great Instagram is a is a big way. twitter same thing murphy comedy mark. We know that you're a dad and you're a girl dad. Yes so tell us tell us what light has a data girls a data girls. Yes yes say. Mark is a girl. He is a data girls. And of course the you know the hashtag girl became very popular when Other another wonderful happening of twenty twenty that we you know soon forget kobe. Bryant's death in an and of course that of his daughter to in the helicopter crash in california. So let's let's move on from that but Yes you're a data girls. What's life like in the household scary. You know an estrogen. Now man i tell you. I didn't grow up with girls now. I have one brother My mom was there and my grandmother lived with us. But i had no sisters or anything like that. So when they told me we were having a daughter My wife always laughs. She's like they. Soon as i said daughter. I kind of went down at literally. Fell down my knees reveling. Oh god what am i going to. I don't know anything about girls Yes so it was. It was an experience growing or having them. Grow up obviously the best things in my life I don't know bones about that They're they're awesome kids but yeah it's it's it's different you know there's a boys are just you know i always say there little sweaty fort machines when their kids they're rambunctious and they fight and all that stuff so they're easy to deal with pain in the ass but they're easy to deal with girls. It's a little more sensitive you know. There's no doubt. I say the wrong thing all the time. I've just by nature on sarcastic. I think i'm funnier than i am. And i don't always get the response. I'm looking for in this house. I think now that they're nineteen and seventeen. I've learned. I don't always come at them with the sarcasm when something's wrong i know to keep my mouth shut for the most part i think i just yeah just learned to keep step back. My wife will look at me. And before i say something. You know. she'll give me the signal. The all clear when i can talk and talk and that's You know we're a team like that and she's been very helpful without her. I you know. I probably would never gotten through whole thing. Is there anything particularly enjoy doing now. That they're nine hundred and seventeen years old at know anything at all specifically yeah. I think it's just being able to talk to the grownups know that's to me. That was the biggest thing when they're younger. You know they mentioned before. I'm an atheist. I'm not religious. You know And i spoke honestly plainly with him about that. When i was younger. Said if you if their mom wanted to take him to church just to try and stuff like that But as they got older i found you know. Let's actually have some real dialogue about this in y you know. Don't believe in stuff like that. Or how i got to this point and i think having those kind of conversations to me is fun we have this section i think priority but we do have to fit it in we we call it dad vice yup advice for dads so You give a lot for us to chew on the last few few moments You could offer some advice. What would the dad vice be. My dad vice would always be just Just listen you know. Tr- try and i'm not saying the best added. I tried to solve problems. And you know. That's just what i do see i worked in. Hr and you know. Do you solve problems. Mediate problems and i think my instinct is to jump in and try and fix things But for dads. I think that's not always the right thing to do. I think what i've learned is And i'm still not perfect at it but just listen. Sometimes they don't need the solution. They don't need me to be the one who say well. Why don't you try this around. Strike that they just need me to listen and they don't want my input. They just want me to listen and I think to any data out there. you got to figure out what your kid needs from. You might have been very clear. I don't want you to give me your input. I just wanna tell you what's going on and just listen. That's it so for me. I learned that. Took about seventeen years before i got there. But i figure out what your kid needs if they need you to solve. Want your input. Great if not understand that and it's okay to just stay back and not have to feel like you have to sell the problem for them. Our guest on episode twelve of season. Four which we've called hip to be dad. I know marks thinking as a comedian boy. Bunch of clever bastards here with that title mark really was our guest comedian. And we'll just call him uber patient everything that he went through over. The course of the last couple of years market was great. Joy having yom bad to the dadan and thanks for making the appearance. Best of luck with the comedy and the healing and the kids and everything you got going on on thanks. I appreciate it into the tagline For my wife was the one hit. Wonder that's what. I was for months there so credited my wife for that one. Absolute another opportunity to plug your social media account mark if people want Check out our jokes. Yup instagram facebook and in twitter. Where i'm at Mark v comedy. It's marta the Just let her be comedy. And i'll have to videos coming up on all of those platforms surely and We'll just start getting back into all the jokes and hopefully bring some humor back to the world and what's been a one hell of a year all right. Good luck again guys. Thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it. We are bad to the dad. Download us wherever you find. Podcasts bad to the dead with coach. Randy and adam de again. We'd like to thank our sponsors for this episode as always becky berman of berman. Branding berman dot com or at berman. Branding that's where you can find her. On social media movember and movember dot com the men's health awareness and fund raising movement. Which happens in the month of november grow a moustache grow your fundraising raise awareness for men's health issues. And we wanna thank our week. Eleven guests keith. Barbaria for turning us onto that and we also want to thank all those anonymous donors who are raising awareness of all of the efforts and energy of our educators administrators and support staff in all of our education systems unprecedented times and we thank and salute you the educators and anybody who supports them for doing everything that you're doing during covid times coach wanna thank. Marc verily comedian and patient care manage just boom boom boom. You know problem after problem. I mean this guy is this guy should be lucky to be alive. And he's happy. He's a great spirits. What happens to people like like this when they go through all of these surgeries. And i don't wanna say near death experiences but definitely threats to your life as you kind of have a new lease on life right. You don't do the job that you have to do. In order to put food on the table and he got very lucky as he said with his investments ultimately. You do what you really really want to do. And he's he's on his path to do that. We all with a little a few speed bumps here and there you know with the you know some of the the relapse with the hip surgery but like he's on the road to doing something really really cool something. He truly loves and hopefully inspiration to all of our listeners. I think these. Inspirations all of this it's very important to have guests like that on And you know speaking of guests a just real quick anecdote Remember i don't remember what season it was when he was season two. We had our dads on for father's day. Yes right and my vengeance. The dads right. Yes yes. And my. Dad has a fondness. Of course. he has his thoughts and ideas but he loved danda berbie Love data the bourbon while it even join his His his distribution liz list. Yeah yeah he's active. Become followers of our other guests jump in and want to be a sponsor movember which was really nice. Move dot com. You never know look and it doesn't have to be a company it doesn't have to be an organization if you want to sponsor a certain 'cause if you wanted to shout out to people who are doing some really good things in the world look are are sponsored by sponsorship opportunities no bounds. We'd take money anybody for just about anything. no bounds. No shame whatever keeps the lights on. You know this is the giving of. Thanks so so two thoughts on that happy thanksgiving to you and your family your please be careful out there you know again. Try to avoid the big gatherings as foul. Even in the cdc says. Let's try to keep people alive or disaster. One thanksgiving one one year. Just try to keep it low key try to keep it to the people that are in your house and if you can pay it forward if you know somebody that is alone in their house will not be having guests offered to do. A zoom. Dropped some food off at their house. Do do a kind thing you know. November is also kindness month. It turns out. You know what i what i've been. Observing is less kindness. But that's the irony of the whole thing but now as an opportunity with about a week or so left in the month to do something good for somebody else and i. It's blocking to justice morning. I was inspired by that professional communications about reaching out your students. I'm going to do the same for my students. Although you know they're they're more local more inclined to be home but i I'm just going to say listen if you you're in a situation whatever it might be emailed me. I will make sure you have a thanksgiving meal. That's that's very good if you and you'd be surprised that and like even just a five dollar dunkin donuts or starbucks gift card very very long way to make. Somebody's day the remind everybody. I just did that. And we don't know our students kind of hurt their feelings going on. And so it's very important to the giving of. Thanks almost like the the airing of grievances but a lot more fun a lot. More fun you know. Thanks thank you for being such a friend and a great co host All this time and how much we we spend together is likewise coach. I'm thankful for you. And this podcast and our listeners needs and our guests and i'll stop it there and speaking of guests three weeks left in season four which i think has just been a dynamite season. Really been loving putting this one together not that we haven't loved seasons one through three but i don't know i think because of of covert and the need to use zoom and this just being such an eventful year. We really tried our best to bring on entertaining guests but guests that are relevant. And we're gonna we're going. Keep that going as we go through the home stretch of our season and we thank you the listener for continuing to to tune in good stuff all right. My friends have a very happy and of course very safe. Thanksgiving dads have a great holiday a great week.

randy Randy Barbaria sixty fifth adam de berman fifteen dollars twelve weeks burma facebook becky berman Sogame Becky berman Sixty fifth warren township six dollars coach randy Kobe hospital yashar one bar
Season 3, Episode 15  Dad & Company

Bad To The Dad

58:29 min | 10 months ago

Season 3, Episode 15 Dad & Company

"Family here after John. Hang on. Let me take this off. Then this is the podcast for you. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy. And Adam de we're a talk show in podcast form. Your hosts are Adam D. That's me and coach Randy. I'm so glad that you decided to join us for another week of the dead podcasting. Great to see you. Yeah had nothing to do so. I figured I'd joined the show today. Thank you think this is the one thing that we actually look forward to where we feel the most productive? Oh there's no doubt this is probably the thing. Now Courtney Ward to every week. This is our mother's Day special or Mother's Day episode. It's also our last episode of the season we're calling it dead and company versus decided company. It's dad and company because this episode is essentially one big one big virtual hug one. Big thank you to our sponsors in our media partners. Of course that's Becky Berman. Randy talk a little bit about Becky. We're GonNa hear from her and just just a little while but now. Why don't we do it? We always do. And that's give praise and showcase our friend. Becky we gotta we gotta give mad props to Becky Permanent Berman. C S DOT com. She's on the show today. Maybe been here for over a over year. And she's been a big part of our success and Looking forward to what she has to say. And if you need any kind of graphic design Seo Web Design you name it. She's the person to go to. Especially since your home being furloughed get off your gut start thinking about your own business. You're LLC colleague Becky Burma Burma's DOT COM nothing. She can't do nothing she can't do and she doesn't like to say no. We're GONNA find out a little bit more about that. Also WanNa thank tap into dot net. That's our media partner. They've given us a wonderful platform to showcase all of the wonderfulness that is bad to the dad. A load but about our guests every week. You can probably find us in one of the New Jersey town franchises lots of different guests. Lots of different topics. And when you're not reading about Cova read a little bit about bad to the Dad and what you can expect on this week's episode coach. We're we're obsessed about the numbers right obsessed about the data back to the DAD. Yeah we've We were nearing a thousand downloads. A week I guess where most popular population comes from outside of New Jersey. It is outside of New Jersey. Yes yes is it outside of the New York Area? It is outside. The New York area is outside of the United States of America. Actually it literally is outside. The United States in America really is it overseas. It is overseas yes. Is it in a small remote island. That's impossible to pronounce in the Pacific. No it's not quite that far out there but it somewhat familiar just across the pod. Just across the pond is an English. Speaking country They do speak English but that is not the formal language. Okay so after playing almost twenty questions I'm going to say it's I'M GONNA go with France. Oh my gosh how did you know you know what they say in France when you get a question right they save wa Wa while La so you're saying France that's where most of our listeners? Yes most of our downloads are coming from France All right well. I know a lot of people in France because I used to work with a company that did all of its manufacturing in France and I think I still have friends there so Depending on what time you're you're listening. I'll say Bolger and and bone swab on wheat. sound Lean Stefan the other Stefan. And anybody else you've told about you know bad to the dead to wound as they say infringe symposia mcnew see. I would just say French fries fresh tools native coach fresh bread. Fresh Kids Randy. I bet if we dropped you in Paris you would be the Clark W Griswald I would fit in of. I am the ultimate of the French. Right there yeah. That might glass of red wine. Yes they would they would embrace you and then probably throw you in a police wagon and say it's Gel. Get this ugly American of my especially with the the man face. I'm Ben I'm building here. Yes shaving his is not what's happening though. Not Right now. I'm going through my rebirthing stage right now. Oh well this is a rebirth. I'm going through my morning stage Not Day but morning ammo you are and I and GM morning as the passing of my old life. And I'm going to be coming out freshen strong for the new life. Says it's going to be a cleansing a renewal a randy coach. Randy to point out something something to that effect absolutely at but all the makeovers are happening from the Waist. Up Imagine Yeah but I'll do some manscaping just to make sure looks. Alright right you can thank me for setting you up. Monro- hey speaking of grooming. Yes alright so you'll be interested to know. Yeah that I actually died. My wife's hair this past week we talked about this last episode that My wife we're also supposed to die my wife's hair But it hasn't arrived yet so I was hoping to get it by the time we did this. conversation but. I want you to walk me through it. Tell me all about it all right well. First of all this very food package comes from the salon would says been great enough to say gracious enough to say you spend enough money with us. We're GonNa let you spend even more money and we're going to send you the dying kit and we know you're not GonNa do it as well as us but you can try. Give yourself the peace of mind the earliest gonNA give it that that old college. Try that you're going to get all those grays out and and your hair color will look like something like when you walk out of our salon. So it's nobody you used. I mean we using this What is it The one XM Sirius Xm radio Marty read or Martha reader. Something read I don't know it's something you know. We're speaking of the French French and English like you know. My brother's name is Chabert. It's like Chad Felipe or Chad. All right or you know unrae Andrei Marker I you know I. I'm really not sure but it's it's that kind of a name. Well the guy who owns the salon is probably name like John. Sh- murdered or something like that. Sh- judge murdered sh word other Schmertz of course from the little arts the The Northern Idaho Schmor- family. That isn't a potato business. Check your date. I'm sure they're listening. So the package comes from sh murdered mark fleet ditch ad and I opened it up. And here's what the kid looks like. I feel it has rubber gloves. Of course now. I own rubber gloves not you but yeah you before you lease now you now. You did a brilliant. It has this stick and brush so. It's a paintbrush okay. Has this very narrow stick at the end that will allows you to flip the hair. What you talk is stick. Is it like a Like like a Shish Kabob stick or is it like toothpicks debt. Not that thin. It's sort of like a like a paintbrush that comes to comes to a point. Okay all right. Very Artsy craftsy. It's a two in one and then of course you have there to it. What one utility tool? And then it has the jar of the Dye. Open up this dialogue. You cannot believe this is hair. Diet actually looked like a chimpanzee diarrhea into a jar. It's not even mustard yellow. It's the most gross thing and get used to the smell. The smell who for two months so sitting there and of course. I can't do this a normal person as soon as those gloves go on yes know. I'm not Adam demore. No who are in Madame Francois. Ooh Or Giancarlo Giancarlo de yes. I'm going to make you look fabulous. Please sit right there and be comfortable. You're paid you'll just relax and I will make your health like new. I have fifteen minutes of cosmetology education. Your disposal cannot wait to use it. Anew your lovely thing thing so you didn't last very long because essentially dictated how I differ hick yet did she did she kick you out. She didn't kick me out. She kicked my ass. Apparently there's a right way to do this. And there's Adam MD's way of doing you know. I'm like a five year old kid with the smock on an elementary school on them within the brush around. I'm ready to paint. You're ready to go at it. You're ready to go. There is a technique or I. Just did you have the kind of stuff for the hair sticks out of the tin foil and everything no tin foil. We didn't get to know that would have been a good idea. Could have gotten some Reynolds. Wrap started folding it against your hair. But that's when I knew this whole thing would have been over. Yes so I was a smell houses smell at that point. Oh my God I rented I think about Turpentine paint thinner You know maybe you know maybe you smelled your your wife's hair dye situation combined all those smells. I should've worn a mask but did not. Yes you chose not to it He's up in your nostrils to and it's just the two of you. There's no one else. Well the kids are walking back and forth and I think they knew that this could not have ended well so they. They went into their other rooms. Okay so she said look you have to not just paint wherever you WANNA paint okay. This is not paint by numbers is not. You've got to yes. Fine the gray and unfold and find more gray okay. So it's like her head is essentially a treasure trove. Say Gray Hair Shit Pot. Full of gray. Yeah so did you gotta go down the swing from fun to her them having to going on their haircut. Yes and the the better part of the last year and a half years. Yeah so now. All I'm doing is just unfolding hair and just keep on new sounds and mounts of hair but but I have to tell you this job. You look raise. Yes she got out of the shower. She said Adam. De D which sat not bad not bad and the hair color was. I think her natural hair color and I met her. Yep and I think he did a fabulous job. I'm not GonNa lie to you coach. I still have the rubber gloves. Kept them right because you own them? I own them their mind. You know there are a little bit of a piece of my creativity of my artistry. Now how long did this whole process take? We were probably added for a good twenty. Maybe twenty five minutes most. Oh it's not bad. I figured out and a half two hours visually fast now. You're fast painter. Well that's always been your problem. You always been a fast painter gets around. You got to be careful. That is so funny so unfortunately our listeners know about my experience with With my wife actually What we're GonNa do this is Have you watched these things CRTV? No sure right so We're GONNA come up with the starting next week as seen on quarantine TV. We're going to go out. We're going to purchase these things that you see on on TV and then we're going to on my My Youtube Channel could trade. He says we're going to actually open these and we're going to order these things to see if they really work so he let all the consumers that are concerned individuals to see if it's really worth their time and money Shameless plug again for that. Youtube channel coach at coach ready says on to Ed. Thanks Eddie. Because there's this one particular infomercial that has these things that covers your bags underneath your is. Have you seen that one the stickies? There's whatever? It is sticky. I forget what they're called flawless pads. Whatever I'm like and they talk about how amazing they are like. You put these little stickers on and somehow you can't see it I think it's I think it's a bunch of crap I think it's a bunch of BS. And I want to show them for who they are and so as as seen on quarantine TV because now watch these these different things. We WanNA prove to see whether or not they're actually worthwhile. It's worth the investment. So how's that GONNA to work? You're going to put them on. And Yeah you'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA speed time the thing because I have to imagine these things if they do work. Yeah yeah that's really take a few hours. We ask him to sit there in front of the. Yeah we'RE GONNA work working mind. And then of course through the editing process. The genius of Editing Shady can fast forward time it takes to make it come across faster and we're going to be able to test whether or not you can actually sleep wake up because they claim you could sleep and wake up like it's nothing there you. WanNa to our people who care that are sending out hard earned money these quarantine times that if this s seen on. Tv is worthwhile so we're GONNA My wife and I we decided we're going to have some fun. If you're going to sleep with those things on and you're not waking up I think you have a bigger problem than babs under your Eyes WanNa see. I'm like there's no way that shit works. So that's that's that's my next project. I wish you good luck. Doing bad to the dad have something to watch. Don't you and your family test products? Yeah there you go. Hey you know we have this week. Talk to me. We have an email and email. Is that in France. No actually from Parma Ohio. Oh I know Parma Ohio near Cleveland. I had no idea there was such place called Parma but You know last couple of weeks short on emails but not this week. Our final episode. You got a we got an email. Somebody from Parma. Ohio came through it. So here it goes. It says hello coach and Adam de if forgot my name but included your initial. That's okay it says what could literally guys cooking. There has to be more to life than chicken. Fingers and Pizza Bites and Swedish fish. Love the show. I listened while I walked the dog and I take super long walks escape a house of four kids who demands for Wacky MAC fellow. Dad's Scotty again from Parma Ohio. I think we have to have Scotty on that. Sounds like scotties quite the Quite the Dad. That sounds like more of a therapy session if we had him on the guest. I haven't had Swedish fish in forever I I of. It's kind of a good idea when I have a craving Thinking about Swedish Adam de literally. What would you guys cook? And what are you doing for dinner at the Tel? You Quarantine has been a great opportunity to test my culinary skills. Which were I wouldn't say there were lacking but they were a kind of minimal before all this went down and My wife Michelle is a great cooking teacher so she cracked open a few cookbooks. And my son and I have been cooking together Have you ever done the cauliflower rice thing? We ARE FAMILIAR WITH CAULIFLOWER RICE. Where could familiar with cauliflower potatoes? Mashed potatoes so yes. I'm familiar with that whole use of cauliflower. So we've got this Dish that we've tried out where we do a poached egg. I've never poached egg before now I can say have and how does one poach an egg but you got to boil water okay and you crack the egg into the boiling water And it retains its shape inconsistency consistency. It's really a beautiful thing and then you You stick that on your your cauliflower rice you know maybe some peppers will will soya sauce action. There they'll kick Oman choice. Saw Soy sauce. You got yourself a dish doing a lot with chicken. There seems to be an overabundance of chicken. Because there's very little meat but chicken is out. There can chicken. We got so Done a The at grill up Jenkins barbecued chicken. All some chickens. Yeah chicken stir FRY. Ooh there you go to Chinese. Yeah but isn't good a mile. You got the the talk shows and chicken. Will you basically take that Artega a powder and you sprinkle it on the chicken and you've got yourself Mexican chicken fajitas Taco Tuesdays Geeta Friday So so speaking of Secret Demayo. Which of course happened this week. That's skip it did not skip it. And of course you had may the fourth be with you which was on money right so we had we had to speak about sixty mile and of course my daughter's shell out of all the Mexican places Taco Bell. So there's a place a little while way in orange We got the we. We must have been twenty cards twenty cars deep but the time we got there so took us a good. I would say good half hour to get up and I was just by the time I got up there. You know stressful stressful going out. I don't know about you. It's pretty stressful. When you go out right well. It's Russian roulette it. Is You know so I got my. I got my gloves on. I got my mask on so I wanted to get in. Get Out and get done. I ordered a party. Pack of soft tacos party pack of HARDSHELL TO CHEESE CASE D. And then the cinnamon thing east to West right the twists and my right so so twelve soft tacos twelve hardshell tacos the to chase do cheesecake ministicks right. So there's four of us kids screaming anyway so much way to sweat. I wanted to get in. Get out get done right fifty dollars Taco Bell. I didn't think it was possible. To spend. Fifty dollars was laughing at me thinking. I'm much right by the time he left the line to get at Taco bell was a half Mile Long. Well because if you probably ran out of tacos Whoever new and it is It was unbelievable that guess what that. That's very funny. We ATE TACO. Good for you as you should. Yeah now I'm kind of stretching it by saying that Taco Bell is Mexican food. Let's say you want to celebrate. That wasn't my choice. I'm just making a word other Mexican restaurants open There are and there were but We we tried to Japodlay weeks ago at not together many bad. Pr Scary Experience. So we chose not to go back to Jim Foley. He said let me go for the safer choice. It had to go. Yeah you know bad. Taco bell is your top choice again not bad about Taco Bell. 'cause I lived on in college but those are the kinds of places where you think. Corona virus started tardy. Yes had market go? We've got a couple of guests coming up. We've got to Michael Shapiro. The CEO and founder of tap into dot net our media partner and of course special. Mother's Day guests. That is Becky Berman from Berman. Branding again Berman. Cis DOT COM. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam deep. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy. And Adam de remember you can find us on social media instagram. It's bad to the DAD facebook Ford Slash bad to the dad and we do have a thing called a website which is like so two thousand six but you gotTa have a website if you want people to find you and that is. Www DOT at the dead dot com coach. You know we're always talking about our media partners and our sponsors in every week. I'm talking about this tap into dot net and I and I have to say And I probably have some data prove it but I don't have it in front of me. That tap into dot net was probably responsible for our listenership increasing above the single digits. Matter of fact I would say single handedly tap into God's above nine we're from I would say from nine to eleven nine hundred eleven. I'm being a little. I would say nine to eleven nine to eleven. Okay so not not generous enough. Yes and you know tap into has been a great opportunity for us. They've given us a wonderful platform to showcase all about bad to the dad and all the wonderful crazy dads that we interview and we happen to have the MAC daddy of tap into dot net on bad to the dad and that is the CEO of tap into dot net. Michael Shapiro coming to us from the State of Florida. Hello Michael How are you? I'm well how are you well? We're probably not as good as you. Because we're expecting a a weather front and maybe an infestation of the murder Hornet and you've got sunshine and you know people jogging shorts. That are much too short for their thighs. Believe me because I do a lot of traveling down in Florida. But I'm glad you're doing. Well well thank you thank you. It's it's great to be here. Thanks for having me absolutely borough all your support allowing us to have a A platform for us to focus on bad of the data. It's really nice. Thank you Michael. Absolutely so take us back a little bit. Michael you're the CEO of tap into dot net. But you're also the founder right. Yes that's correct. I started thirteen years ago. So tell us why you decided to set up tap into dot net. Sure sure so. Thirteen years ago. I was an attorney in New York commuting back and forth from my Old Town of New Providence New Jersey originally from Livingston but I I was living in new providence and Livingston Livingston I know Livingston High Kgo Lancers Nurse Luli. Yeah Yeah so yes. So I was commuting back and forth from new providence into the city. I was an attorney at law firm and what caused me to start to happen to a couple of things that kind of combined around the same time one was that we just had a weekly hardcopy newspaper. So you'd often have to wait two weeks to find out what was going on in our second. Was that the weekly hardcopy. Newspaper had kind of a decided bent to it. That was not only on the editorial page but would also seep into the news coverage in the works a lot of people that were upset about that and then the primary reason personal reason was that When my son was one he's now thirteen and he's fine But we found out he needed surgery so I was looking to do something where I can help the community. Do something really liked to do. And I could actually see my wife and son so I decided to create this on line objective local news site for new Providence. New Jersey and at the time was called the alternative press. Today we have the name into took the t the ADP from the alternative crafts. And the idea that tab is now we know coach and that orig lever you also alternative press sounds a little bit like All right or yeah or one of those newspapers that written by a militia guy who basically sleeps with a shotgun. Yeah it was funny because I was gonNA turn of press. You're absolutely right. I was at a street fair where we had a booth and it said the alternative France and my hair was pretty short and I had somebody come up to me and ask us. We're part of the Neo Nazi then I was like No. I'm a I'm a dude from Livingston I realize we would eventually needed named James and actually as as we continue to grow. We became the goto place for local news. So we were no longer the alternative. We were the place to get your local news so tap into a lot more sense. Now Michael You. You said you started this up. Thirteen years ago Iraq. Yeah so you know we did. We did have an Internet. We did have DOT com. But I think we were just sort of scratching the surface of how the Internet could be a major vehicle for news at that time. What were you experiencing and starting up an online news publication. Yeah well people kind of at that time. They thought I was kind of nuts. Particularly since I left my job in the city city to do this full-time but I started in new providence and a site in Berkeley Heights in summit the two neighboring towns and then I started to get requests from people in other towns so we launched a say Chadema when Milburn. And then I left my job in the city to do it full time and we start to get so many requests from people to expand to their town. I had to start saying no because I couldn't do anymore sites myself and so Basically overpaid about five years. I started to think about how we could expand yet. Really keep it local to me. The key is that we do original local Daily News coverage every day and And so about six years ago I came up with this idea of basically franchising local news looking for people who wanted to start it in their own town as their own business and fast forward to today and we now have a eighty five franchise tap into sites we have about seventy five of them in New Jersey Six of them in New York to in Florida businessman. Lawyer Turn Entrepreneur. Yeah it's it's It's interesting because when I started tap into I I really had no journalism experience. I had no sales experience and built it from scratch and and I think that's one of the reasons we've been so successful is you know. I didn't have any kind of set mindset about how this was going to operate as it as it involved. We were flexible. And we we evolved in made. It made it better and better. As each day progresses. Listen you know we had no podcasting experience before we started this little keebler tree and after listening some people would say you still don't have any experience. Have we got any better but we do have almost a thousand downloads. A week I dig it. You know one day people are going to hear about us. I think in Europe I think number one number one fan base is in France. We gotta we gotTa talk a little bit about that. That is that is something I gotta get back onto a lingo and starts kicking line. We are a dad. Show back to the DAD and understand that your a dad and you've mentioned the the challenge you had with your son. What do you like to do with your family is dead? I will we love to do outside stuff so we love to go in the pool. We love to go to the ocean. we love to run walk in the neighborhood Those are the really fun things we like to do. we also are all of us in some way or into food. We like cooking together and doing fun things like that and and my kids are really into POK Mon so they they have me like my wife into it where you know. Some nights will go on walks in spin. Hokey stops and things like that. So you know trying to trying to do a lot of fun things even though we have to deal with Kobe and we don't have the necessary necessarily the freedoms we normally APP. Now what are the sections we have on our show? Is Something called Dad Vice where we have dad's offer advice to other dads so It's up to you if you could offer some advice to our listeners. Would you like to say I think no matter how busy your day is At some point in the day you should always make make make sure and make time for your for your kids and spend time with them. Because you know the days that you have with your kids. They don't last forever and you know once they grow up. You know you're going to miss that time. And so you know. Even when I was an attorney in New York and I was working ridiculous hours in commuting back and forth you know I always try to to do something with the kids even if it meant me getting up even earlier in waking them up early to do something fun here at down where we are now. I'm every morning I I play on with my son before the day starts. We'd play at like seven o'clock in the morning and we do things right you at night. Route the day but stay with given Kovic but I play ping pong literally every single day with them. You know every single day and with my daughter to where we get her involved and stuff like that so That would be my advice to any data out. There is make sure you make. I'm where your kids. I'd actually like to make more times. It's just that work is just so demanding all the time that is not possible to spend the whole day with them. Michael Shapiro these CEO and founder of tap into dot net. First of all Michael. Thank you so much for finding us and again giving us an opportunity to write articles every week about our guests about our shows I get to misquote coach Randy every week and he doesn't seem to mind and usually have. Yeah twice yeah well I like to try to put words in your mouth and It's it's it's a. It's a wonderful service I would like to think as you have increased. Our our listenership may be we've Increased your readership by one or two people name Chandler or Nathan. Those are a family who knows well great to be speaking to another fellow Lancer. Listen stay safe and thanks so much for being on bad to the dead Michael. Well thanks so much for having me guys have a great night. We are bad to the dead download us. Wherever you find podcasts. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy. And Adam de remember you can interact with us. We use email that email is contact us at bad to the dead dot com again. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com and even in the off-season. We're still around. It's not like we hibernate. We're not like a bunch of bears here so please use contact us bad to the DAD DOT com. Let us know kind of guests. You would like to hear and see on bad to the dad and maybe you know some other topics like to chat about so coach. Adam a last episode of the season. We thought we'd bring it home with some of our good friends and you know usually when we start an interview. I say we're brought to you by Becky Berman Berman. Cs DOT COM. Go to them for all of your website. Needs marketing graphic design. Each does a great job it. But I'm not GonNa do that this time. Gee Why not? Why not because we have becky Berman as our guest on the program lose here? Yeah Yeah thrilled to have your special mother's Day addition we're calling this episode Dad and company you've heard of deadandcompany were and company because WanNa thank all of the sponsors and partners who've helped us not just get this thing off the ground but become what it is a fifty fifty three fifty four episode vehicle coach. I've already lost count but look at us now. Well last count and I don't even know what day of the week it is so it could be a Tuesday. It could be a Thursday. It's might even Sunday. I just don't know I do know this episode fifteen of season three. Yes it is I can at least give you that much becky so great to have you. Do you remember that historic day in early January of two thousand nineteen said? Hey becky you do graphic design. Can you help me with this project? Do you remember that conversation? I do remember and first of all I wanted. Just thank you both for inviting me on your show it. It's it's been so exciting to be part of this journey with you and I'm really thrilled to be here at this moment. So thank you. I remember that conversation and one of One of the my mantra sort of something that I like to live by is think about something before you say no now you should probably take that advice sweet hard because you know. I work with all different kinds of businesses and sometimes I get really interesting. Requests and so every every logo data do or website or marketing plan. That a right is totally different. And so hard of that creative process is to say to yourself. Yes yes we want to find a weighty yes and to not shy away from a request of a skull with a Fedora with the strangest request. You've ever received one hundred percent. Yes request ever received however one of the easiest logos to design work with my team designing. Because you both knew exactly what you wanted. We just had to craft a plan and how to get there sometimes some of the Sorted quote unquote easier. Logos are actually quite difficult to design because the client sort of has a sense of what he or she wants is thinking more along. The lines of color is necessarily then in the words that sort of describe the brand which kind of lead into the creation of the logo because brand identity you know is about the words and the feelings and what you wanted to exude and so it's got it almost work in that direction and and you both knew exactly what you wanted. You wanted this great looking very handsome skeleton with a Fedora. Microphone and you knew you knew already had even known your name. Sometimes when I'm working with clients they don't even know the name of their business yet. Oh really so. They have no vision for what their name of their company. It's going to be. I would think that would be one of the first things. They shouldn't work in different directions. Sometimes we think about well. What can this logo look like? And can we create the name of our business once? We design the logo. So the fact that you you knew exactly what you wanted and I and it's really remarkable. I've told the story many signs that somehow your logo was one of the easiest projects that I've ever worked talk model client coach Adam deems congratulate you as we accept this award of being the easiest client from Berman Dot Com. Yeah not to mention that it was so much fun working with both of you. But you're you had such a clear vision so my advice to folks who are looking to you to start a new project or themselves is to think about the words that describe their brands and actually just posted something interesting on a wooded found on instagram. Jeff Bezos he says your brand is the words that people use to describe you when you're not in the room. 'cause I remember that ethic so I want to turn their that next time. You use another Adolescent phrase on the show. Yes I want to turn that back on you so becky the experts that you are again web addresses Berman. Cs DOT COM. When you see the bone daddy logo would people say? We're not in the room please. This is PG thirteen. So I mean it's great I it. It's it's what I what it shows you got a lot. You've got your colors or are speaking volumes that you are sort of classic but also contemporary in these colors. I believe rights. Don't you like to take your conversations in with your different your different guests in sort of Different kinds of directions. But that ultimately you are. You're looking to have fun and you're looking to obviously you've got your microphone. That's-that's FRONTON CENTER. But you're looking to understand your guests and at the end of the day have fun have fun doing and understand their stories so I think. Hgtv should have us all on as I think most home decorating. Motif should be with the the bad to the dead bone. Daddy Hallett adds to go with this palate. They can do no wrong with their home. Interior design. It's all fun. That's what I've gathered from the expert. Berman and I was very happy that you didn't select red and yellow as your colors because I've had clients who want to start in that direction and red and yellow actually illicit hunger the different combination elicit different type of psychological responses. So keeping Gob. Mcdonald's Burger King. Some of these other types of Grundy's she's so right away they're all reds. Yes well. He's those colors intentionally. They listed a response that we don't even realize so we've got married. That Tanzim blacks was that about two billion is out on the expression. I've been trying to get right. Well that yeah. That's that's different stats. You don't have to worry about people hungry so I'm glad I. What do we need to worry about? People Brown drinking heavily Bourbon. And we can you make it look like Bourbon Logo. Because that's kind of a very a dad esque graphic and he did and that was really really helps. All be allowed. You did did you. Becky Berman you did. It was great collaboration. Becky you've been giving us kind of a master class here in colors and graphic design and the things you should think about when you speak to your graphic designer and we highly recommend Becky Berman and her and her crack team so somebody calls you up right. Wants to engage in relationship. What does that like? What does that partnership like between you and and your potential customer? That's a great question. I I work with all different kinds of small businesses and sort and all different aspects of their business. I have been working with an accountant for many years. Helping them brand and rebrand with really fun and And then also helping them. Think of ways to use technology to help streamline their business so we did. We worked together at in in those kinds of exit. Now I'm working with photographer. International photographer and on his social media couch in helping him grow his account. And we're very excited. We reached ten thousand followers in out eight months which was really exciting. We put our challenge to ourselves. Let's get ten thousand by the year and we did it early. So I I work with dentists. I work with Folks who are launching entrepreneurs who are launching new businesses in. So sometimes I can't they they keep me sign nondisclosure agreements. So I can't share too much of that data which is exciting. When I feel like I'm you know behind the scenes working and helping deliver so I guess what I like to do is start with a lot of is asking a lot of questions because you can tell the different kinds of people that I work with. have different needs and oftentimes there needs are the same so at one point. I worked with a tow truck company. Who who wanted to help get exposure on on Google and I was having a similar kind of conversation that actually actual same day with the dentist and the approach that in that case we talk with the exact same on how to make Google business page how to promote that page and it was very funny to me that I was having the same conversation with the dentist and a tow truck company. Along as you didn't mix up the businesses hate for somebody that needs bridge work to go to the tow truck company and somebody that needs to toe to go to the dentist Oh the whacking that wouldn't at indeed and of course you know coached well. Most becky's clients want them to want her to sign a nondisclosure agreement. We asked her to sign a disclosure disclosure of your money. You know everybody knows those to the debt absolutely so very cool a becky. You're you're a mom and day. What are you doing for Mother's Day? What what with the kids and Ari have planned by the way Ari was on our show in season. One fantasy baseball expert. That was good fun by the way. Go back in stream that one if you're if you're episode four or five episodes something or other season one so what's going on for Mother's Day Becky. It's a great question so we're we are still working out plans for mother's Day there. It might involve some kind of family parade. Parades that you've been seeing around town and May or may not have participated in any of these types of raids. So we're yeah we're still we're still working but I have to say I was very excited as you know. I have our way have three kids. A high schooler a middle school and lower score and night accidentally peaked in on the first grader. Working really fun or strayed project for Muslim Rohingya. Running was involved. They have involved Naggar owning those. Those are always the best. The best gifts to receive are are the homemade gifts. That really take a lot of home. Big Cards homemade gifts are going to happen this year. And those are really the best I have to say. Those are the ones that last in your heart forever and they last a lot longer than a lego sculpture. So maybe that's the way to go so are your are your kids staying sane in all this or are they driving up the wall? Now come on. It's not your kids staying saying. Are you staying saying Becky Becky Sam? Because clearly she agreed to be interviewed. We know that all the right synapses firing well. They're saying saying but yet they're going insane at different moments only week. Calibrate them to be seen an insane at the same time that would make managing this family a little bit easier. I'm sure you're finding that in your household as well. We often joke that the the number one job. The hardest job in the world is being a mom and I close. Second was the the the painter on various on a bridge coal miners. We now see the the first the first line of Defense in terms of nurses and doctors but above and beyond mom is really one of the most difficult jobs and I think. Md would agree correct. I would agree and you know we keep saying that. Dad doesn't even come close. We're lucky to be in the top. Five hundred yeah. That's pretty much the number we come up with. There's there's four. Hundred Ninety. Nine other jobs are much more challenging being dead. I tend to disagree with you. It's a team effort. It is absolutely team after. I think we're all feeling that these days now more than ever than when we have a lot of togetherness and it's a lot of now figuring out who's going to be the chef today is going to help with homework today and redefining roles I disagree it is a team effort and being a mom and a dad right now has taken on a whole new now whole new me. So don't you feel though back and I realized we've turned this into a big debate which is always fun as we like to debate. But don't you feel like kids just by nature you know if there's a problem they naturally sway to the mom. Were you seeing a paradigm shift going on Yeah that's that's a great question I it's funny because I think with more than one will tell you. Don't try to master your your parenting techniques. Because as soon as you think you got down pat you gotTA re your your techniques senior efforts for your second child so I think we're all probably feeling the same way at this moment with with three kids that China understand what what they need right now and then delivered to them. What they need at that moment. I think is really is really the way that I'm trying to look at Ed and lay. Actually the seven year old is making it the easiest to uncover that strategy of what it is she needs because Joplin speaks the loudest. She's the youngest right and chew the young enough but we will the oil. Yes squeaky wheel gets. Cyo Bite I think flexibility and any humor are definitely a good tools to help us get through these days. Yes so Adam d I just wanted to. I acknowledge that you've gotten ooh that's really good question three times just letting you know what your best three really questions. Normally we're lucky to get one out of you. You've got three today just counting one now. You know why we have becky on for the last show. I needed to pad my numbers. Yes and stroke my own ego. You're welcome to come on every episode. Clearly this is working out for me. What I'm I'm enjoying being here and yet what I've also enjoyed doing is helping your logo grow and adapt over time so my mantra of of resisting. The urge to say no to a question. That came up again when you didn't even know that was going on in my mind when you said Kenya. Can you give us our bone? Daddy a hand and three fingers a few iterations daddy depending on the season and then couple special requests for the holidays. Yes you have which has been incredibly creative. And and somehow some one way or another we've gotten there and my favorite was was the three that we we gave him fingers and and and it worked just a skull. He's not just ahead that smokes a we're thinking about adding just the Middle Finger right now for quarantine and we'll be back for season four so keep us keep us because bilby. There'll be some vision coaching. I have to think about what we're GONNA do for for four. Maybe an Andy Warhol type of If that's if that's possible but we've got plenty of time in the off season to think about it and get those creative juices going becky. Berman is has been our guest again if you want the best in Website Design Marketing Seo. That's search engine optimization optimization you and me coach Ma or of course graphic design. I don't know if you'll get something as slick awesome is proud daddy logo for bad to the easy you can try and don't go with reds and yellows because only make you hungry but if you want any of that you contact becky Berman. You'll have a great experience. Go to Berman. Cs DOT COM becky. Anything you want to add to that just to save thank you and I wish you both much continued success. Your show has been amazing and I can't wait to see what challenges that I won't say no to hopefully throw my way in the future. You can't say no anymore. You're you're in and there's no letting go like the mafia just know us go have getting out from from coach. Randy and mine friendly bosom friendly. We'll keep it at that. Becky thanks again. We are back to the DAD. Download US wherever you find. Podcast WE are bad to the dead with coach. Randy and Adam de again. I want to thank our guest today. There Michael Shapiro. Ceo of tap into dot net. Good friend Becky Berman. Berman Branding WanNa wish Michael a safe life down in Florida and of course Becky Berman. A very very happy mother's Day but it was nice. Listen to Michael Shapiro and At at Becky Berman. I don't know about you but people keep coming asked me like you know. It's hard to believe. Three three seasons route They WanNa know what we're going to be doing. It's the end of the season. Fifteen shows so Adam D. What are your plans? WanNa have between obvious. We're going to have the father's day episode. What are your plans in the in the off season? Yeah so I think we're going to be. We're going to be done with season. Three's this is truly. This is truly the season finale. Because you know once we get episode thirteen fourteen fifteen randy and I we get on each other's nerves and we need a little time out. Yeah drive you crazy. I realized that correct statement about how I know you. But that's Okay Harley. It's all out of love and you know we have that kind of honest relationship. Plus I think it's good to take a little break and collect some new guests re-energize the show always talk about how we can make it even better listen to our fans listen to our listeners and take some of their opinions into account and then say now. We're just going to do it our way. No anytime for that and just about. It's about a refresher course. You noted take the refresher course. That's three I think we've we've had our magic number. Yes sledge we are going to take a break We will come back father's day for a special father's day episode yet which will be a virtual concert and so we have a few dads who are musicians. Some of the names you. You already know. They've been on like Carl brister from the middle of the season season three Love Love Song Yup L. O. V. Which actually premiered right here on bad to the dad says he may do that. Song not live but he'll do a live performance that is recorded. Yes yes so. So there's there's GonNa be some good fun there now as far as what? Am I going to be doing? Yeah Tell Me Yon Bad to the Dad Dr Disgustingly Shameless Plug so Thursday may fourteenth nine PM. Right I'm going to be part of a stand up comedy lineup raising money for the world central kitchen the world central kitchens realize that's big time. You're watching their that chef. Jose Andres charing. Yeah and typically what he does is raises money. So food can be delivered to places that are stricken with natural disasters or war torn or food just cannot get to two good people because of one circumstance or another and Lo and behold we have a global pandemic so food is in high demand hard to reach now everywhere Through an old high school. Buddy Mike Redmond who's very prominent attorney down in DC. Yeah asked me to do a little stand up. I always want to stand up and do it for a good cause. Raise some money for a great charity. Where people in in places that don't have enough food can have enough food. I am all for that and and that's next Thursday and we'll start working on. I know we're we're working on a few solo projects coach Randy. Yeah I'll I'll let ut up yours because it sounds like a lot of fun yet. No real quick before we move on. Is there a website that he can follow that yes insight? So what I'm GonNa do is They'll be facebook live access point. Okay and I'll start promoting it on the bed to the dead social media platforms on my facebook account which is Adam de Chandler. So please WANNA learn more. Visit Adam Sandler over the course of the next few days. And you'll see who's in the lineup. Got Another buddy of Mine Barry Waldman. Who's going to be doing some stand up as well So it'll be plastered? All over social media might over the course of the of the next week. So how long has your second would be. How long's your second to be a ten to twelve minutes? All right very nice to be what virtual I'm sure. Yeah look you know those of you probably be from where I'm sitting now in the cave but it's the only place that can escape getting privacy. But for those of you who've who've heard by comedy before I might throw out a few greatest hits but there's definitely going to be some Cogan and quarantine related comedy you haven't seen on the Internet so looking forward to Sharon then just just having a good time you know. We need to laugh. Need a break lead. Laugh laugh very nice. Yeah so Actually have two things in terms of my solo project one. I'M GONNA CONTINUE. The podcasting a I am. I am I've always wanted to Even spires mu through our own podcast. It's called the the life of an average somebody hosted by coach Randy. It is going to be a weekly podcast. That's good talk about. Just being an average dead average guy average person trying to live the life and try to figure things out as part of the book that I'm in the process of writing for the past ten years Which I hope to get some great material for in terms of that book the life of an average somebody Someone to be a hosing that podcast about twenty minutes a week and then My wife and I were up watching. Tv The other night in terms of these commercials. You see late at night. That are hawking all this random stuff and there's this one particular product that that eliminates bags underneath your is I don't flow pillows or something at started thinking about. We should buy this stuff and really try it out if it really works so I have a youtube channel called at coach. Rainy says and so. We're going to buy this stuff and test it out and is called it's called as seen on quarantine. Tv So we're going to be trying out these products to see if they really work. We have the kids involved. My wife involved On my station kind of goofy and having a good time because right now colleges over my college classes are over. No more speaking engagements only few clients. What else are you going to do? You GotTa go for Yours. Give yourself some publicity now coach. Let me go back to that average. Somebody vehicle that you're doing are you gonNA have guests or is it just going to be you tell stories? It's me just talking just telling stories. It's I believe that you know over the course by life. We're we're pushed pushed about being important getting good grades and accelerating and everything else but the truth is brawl just random average people. But we're we're somebody's such little little small little stories little quirks little. Whatever kind of things come to mind Life experiences? That just Kinda reminded us that we're all kind of average people try to figure things out so I do have a facebook page. Right now. Called average. Somebody Salvi put putting on that. I'll be posting on my. I'll be doing some livestream on my facebook page and then I'm going to also posted on my website which my website which is coach. Randy says what you are a somebody because the new phone book came and I saw your name in it Mike. Boehm THROW IT DOWN FOR STEVE. Martin jerk the jerk because the new phone back that I couldn't stop because a new phone book really did Arrive Today. It really did right and I looked in and I saw it and I'm somebody now and like everything else that arrives in my house. Rubber gloves went on absolutely why didn't right into the recycle bin. Very nice coach. Great Season Three. I loved the variety. Greg this wonderful job editing this program as as you always do we will be back for a season for but before we do that. We'll be back for the father's Day virtual concert. We have a couple of weeks to come up with a clever name but can't wait for that. It's going to be a lot of fun. We are bad to the dead folks. Stay safe stay healthy. Have a great summer. We'll see a on father's Day bye.

DAD Becky Permanent Berman Randy Becky Becky Sam WanNa Adam de TA France Adam New Jersey Michael Shapiro New York Michael Florida CEO France Taco Bell attorney partner
Season 4, Episode 11  Proud as a Dad

Bad To The Dad

1:00:27 hr | 3 months ago

Season 4, Episode 11 Proud as a Dad

"If you're the kind of debt grows to one of those long number jack hipster beards just so you don't have to wear a scarf in the wintertime. then this is the podcast for you. We bad to the dead with coach. Randy and adam de we are the fastest growing dad theme podcast in all of humanity. I love when i say that. Like a used car dealership. We are also the podcast. Of course that celebrates suburban dad life coach randy and adam. Dr your host. My name is adam de and what a surprise. What a pleasant surprise coach randy is ear. Good morning coach morning. Adams are meeting episode number eleven. Not many left having. We're having more fun than it's legal to have your cruising down the one on one with the ocean on the rights and the mountains. I left love when you paint the visual love when you paint the visual coach and we've got a great guest that has nothing to do with oceans or highways. His name is keith barbaria. He is the head of technology at nbc. boston man. That the things he he has seen inside that institution this year can to talk to him about that but he's also going to talk to us about the campaign movember which stirred pain where you grow a moustache and you raise money about men's health issues right everything from prostate cancer to mental health. And we're going to get into that with him. He's also gonna talk a little bit about natural childbirth. Now some people think there's nothing natural about childbirth but listeners unnatural tile shelbert which. We'll get into it. We'll get into both. I'm sure there's there's two sides to the bates and speaking of speaking of november and mustaches. You're growing quite a fine goatee there. You're looking like a rugged individual my friend. well i have decided that I'm not shaving. The goatee part. Let's let it go joe grow. Just wanna go out there and see what happens on november thing or just lazing member theme. Bunny i'm just bringing awareness. But i just happen. I'm hoping by the end. I looked like one of those guys. You know kinda with that big bottom of that. Not that kind of goes out like four inches off the bottom of your chin and cut it just sits there and yeah outlooks need needs. Wax needs braiding. You look like you're in a cult. Yeah use the little little ties that comes down. I could be like the love guru if we could so awkward transition here speaking of growth. You know who's focused on the growth of your business is giving you the best in marketing and website design. Who's that coach you'd get you. That'd be becky. Berman of berman. dot com. That is becky berman of berman branding. Bourbon c s dot com for all your graphic designs and website needs. And she's taking care of your graphic design. Website needs business growth. Lear coach randy says we. We're just about realize it's ready coach. Rainy says new logo new theme if life is a game. Who's your coach. It should be coach. Randy. that's it. that's a campaign. that's that's the model we're going we're we're going to be a lodge next couple of weeks to start looking for all the excitement all the wonderful marketing opportunities for all of your executive. Coaching speaking consulting needs all right coach randy says and maybe we'll do a special episode. Worry learn a little bit more about coach. Randy says so coach before we get into the fun and frolic and i understand is giving it to be some mirth today. Would you have to take care of some business which includes what what we call them. Our brothers right. We call this. Show that the fraternity has had so many guests. Guest ed on They all mean something to us. All bring different skills in Of course there was a time we brought in father daughter. that That episode was great. they Saying shallow so you might remember the han. So we're talking about matthew. John and his beautiful and talented daughter. Riley as coach said they were on season two and they sang shallow and then they returned for another performance where they did fleetwood. Mac's landslide on the father's day musical episode. And they're just terrific. that's one of the episodes. i keep going back and playing just because I love hearing them saying so. Unfortunately matt hahn the father Was in a really bad motorcycle. Accident last week. fortunately no other vehicles. It was just a mad involved in that accident. be that as it may He's he's in really bad shape. He's in the icu. as we know now Paralyzed from the chest down. He is conscious. He's awake is is are open when they need to be He's gotten some movement in one of his hands. But not much. There is a go fund me page. And you love this community. And how everyone has rallied around the hans but coach. You have some information on that right. Yeah it was funny his rallies a freshman in west orange high school actually sophomore. She's the miss published that but that's okay still a young young ladies were. She's closed with With perry my daughter's a freshman oser of course your talent And the sister. She has a sister. I think is an eighth grade awesome. So it's it's caitlyn can't fathom the news but there is a gofundme page if you go to any search your favorite search bar and just enter a go. Fund me met han family. And that's h h n v. It'll pull up go right to the website and it is exceeded the goal now. It's a their goal. Was one hundred thousand dollars. The the cost the surgeries are going to be in the seven figures so as a community in. What was really nice. As you know we used to be delighted to tap into it. Right and So we had to get back on their. You know there's no reason why we shouldn't be doing publicity and they haven't said we're not going to promote you. So yeah united states. There was a change in leadership But i was nice of tap into send down a note to everybody in west orange rowling. I mean there's just that's i love. Our town cannot fathom but that family is going through so we all kind of come together and be there to help support the families go fund me matt. Hahn family Sighting location give anything from a couple nichols tomorrow again. Yeah i'll tell you a great guy you won't find a more devoted dad The guy even tattooed a whole story that he came up with on his shoulder and had it colored in so is nothing. That's more important to matt hahn than his family and your day. There was yesterday being saturday. We were recording this on sunday morning. Yesterday there was a healing circle over zoom like six pages. Deep six zoom pages dea so the outpouring of support to do whatever whether it's monetary whether it's emotional support whatever the hans need of course we We want to be involved in that as well. And of course we appreciate matt and riley for being on two episodes of bad to the dads so one of the olympic ashley. We and i think the first episode obviously had him on. We talked about motorcycles. With you yes and we got a new one and we asked him. Is it a harley. And he said no was one of the japanese versions which Goes very very fast and we know we know the dangers of motorcycling being super careful. Were you allowed to ride motorcycle. My family i was it was. There's two things in my family growing up. That was made very clear but my parents I wasn't allowed to know guns right. No gun no motorcycles Gun guns never even came into the conversation. I don't know if it's just because we're north jersey and the gun culture at least at that time growing up wasn't really prevalent motorcycles. I had a cousin who had a motorcycle under the. We're all scared to death about what he was doing. So i was allowed to sit on one and look at them but not much more than that. You know if it was going five miles. An hour. And i was sitting in the back wrapping my arms as tightly as they could around. That wasn't even on the table so it's really something that even to this day like we don't have guns. Never ever shot a gun. Maybe getting some training just in case of the top of the forthcoming or are is on the apocalypse as up but as far as motorcycles i mean never not even a blip on the radar. And it's there those that love it in. It's kind of a dredging. i feel very badly for the hunt. Family he did love it was it was a lifestyle and it was his thing right. You always say. Dad should have their thing both with their kids right and their families as well as themselves and and that was one of his many many hobbies many pursuits but the important thing now is that he gets better. He gets healed and gets back into fighting shape. Who knows but we only hope for the best for the han family. And that's really a lot of thoughts and prayers definitely senators. He noticed something. You're you're back in the. I'm in the den today. And there's a difference or some space between us now. I'm sorry. let us done. That's okay. we're taking the most precautions that we can urine the and i'm in my loft which is essentially do business the cave though on a regular basis in the man my action figures and my patents on toys and the back they're not my patents but their patents on some of my favorite toys Throughout history like the slinky in the sketch the rubik's cube We are social very very socially distant. Today we're in two different houses because a covert has spiked in our town in our own neighborhoods. Neighbors are getting it neighbors yet. It's i said this suggests this is getting too close to home. Nearly we're we're just being careful you know. We don't know if i know i haven't been exposed but who knows you never know you can go into a seven eleven. Receive just to pick up. It is my friend who was just picking up a his mel. He tested products but his wife and his son. Both that's a negative so Mean i would imagine. It's just a matter of time God willing of won't be but it seems like we're reaching numbers that are just like using number so it is a very serious very real head I didn't spend you see march eight and a half months this whatever it is you wanna call it writing just to get cova eight months later committed. I'm go all out. I mean house. I mean i'm thinking to myself was like an investment right if that's of time that you all his time and then boom out of just one moment of just maybe purely just not thinking hundred percent. Boom i am so. That's why you're in the cave. I'm dan Of course are s visitor. Keith will be from his home but Anat how's your weekend update. My week was good. You know speaking of good things to do during quarantine. We rediscovered one of the gems of eighties. Television silver spoons. You might talk about a show about. Dad's silver spoons. Right of course. Starring that very precocious ricky schroder in nineteen eighty-two joe higgins played the father erin gray from buck rogers was the was the secretary and i think ultimately the love interest. I'm not selling anything. This was like over thirty five years now than you so go check it out on amazon. You do have to pay if you want to watch the pilot for a buck ninety nine go for it and then you watch the the whole first season i think for about fifteen bucks and we knocked out around four or five episodes last night. You know because there's nowhere to go you know. I could not go out to eat so we just did. A a silver spoons. Marathon and i think you know when you grew up in that era and now you're a parent you watch it with a different kind of lens. You have a different perspective and even though you wanna suspend your disbelief you can't. You're always criticizing and providing color. Commentary on what you see. So first episode comes ricky schroder in his military school uniform and he just walked through the door. And tells the joel higgins character. Edward stratton the third. I am your son and they don't make a big deal out of it. They don't call any the authorities. He doesn't call his ex wife to say. Hey is this really my the guy just walks in and then fifteen minutes later conforms to the belief that okay. Ricky schroder is my son. Now let's have a season now. Granted the joel higgins character edward stratton. He's made to be overgrown child. Irresponsible doesn't question. Anything is a bit of a moron but it makes for easy in well you know again. It's a sitcom and you have to remember that the things that we would do from precautionary standpoint would not occur in atv. I'll give you another example. I think it was episode four or maybe even sooner than that episode. Let's call it episode. Three so ricky decides. He wants to go to public school because he wants to be a normal kid. Not a rich kid. Just just real quick. Yeah i need to acknowledge the yes detail of this. Show that you're providing listening okay. I don't think many people can appreciate the magnitude of what you're right now. It's a particular. Give us the full the sensual experience of what. You're okay all right so Basically we're in our living room in our sweatpants and that's about as if you really want me to get detailed. That's absolutely going on here. But you know what. I realized i should have done is for those who aren't familiar with silver spoons as go back and talk about the premise. The premise is. There's this edward stratton third. He is the heir of this mega fortune From his father and grandfather's father is play by john houseman. Very marginally very business oriented disappointed in his son for basically being an oath and a no good nick right and lo and behold ricky schroder comes into this guy's life You know turns everything topsy turvy. Apparently he he had a marriage. You don't know anything really about the ex wife. What her story is. But you do know about ricky. Who and ricky all of a sudden enters this world where he gets this Train remember the train that goes through the room abed abed that shaped like a race car. Has everything at his disposal. But he's the smarter of the of the two in the pair right there and sons son sons good with computers as good judgment. He's got good salesmanship and manipulative skills and he essentially saves the day most of the time for his adopted father's business so we're talking about again suspending our disbelief with some of these sitcoms. One of the episodes. Ricky is being bullied in school. He decides to go to public school because he wants to be a normal kid. Not known as the rich kid This bully ox. He sees the guy that Extorts people for their milk money everyday basis. But you see the scene in the classroom and there's no teacher until five minutes later so kids walking in there sitting down ox comes in. He's facilitating the collection of money. People try to stand up to him. There's no teacher involve. The teacher is also feckless has no control. But she's nowhere in the picture till much later and far later than she needs to be a very accurate portrayal of nineteen eighty classroom. So yet spot on okay. So here's what happens. Next ricky gets punched in the i ready stands up to the bully doesn't want to give him. The milk. money comes home tells his father edward stratton. I've been bullied so you'd appreciate this. Because you're you're the bully coach. Not how to bully but avoids needs to coach. You should air. This is episode. Although i don't know if it's the best most accurate portrayal of of the whole anti bullying campaign. Needless to say And here's the beauty of silver spoons. It has yielded so many guest star appearances. So edward stratton hires a bodyguard to sit in the class with ricky nice for the foreseeable future and who is the bodyguard. Mr t. mr t. Fhu who not only scares oxen. Everybody in his wake including the teacher who has a nervous breakdown but he also gets an a. on all the history tests with nobody can answer. Why did the american revolution happen. Mr t. raises. His hand stands up and answers the question about thoroughly and effectively as you can in twenty minutes at come. It's a it's a show that yielded mr t. Who was at the height of his popularity with the team. Yes done hide that. And then of course jason bateman. This was one of his first shows. The sort of put him on the map. Of course you know jason. Bateman from ozark and dodgeball. All other sitcom he was in. It's your move much later. This is when he's just a little picture right of You know twelve thirteen years old so you know. of course. We talked about erin gray and john houseman but Alphonso ribeira eventually look at carlton. Right from the fresh prince eventually makes the scene so but but again i bring the show up because it's about a relationship between a dad who's not equipped to really be a dad and his son who's already wise beyond his years when he arrives. So if you're looking for some good wholesome you know dad not advice but dad dad type programming especially wall you're cooped up in your house. This is a great show to watch. Now it'll cost you a little money. But i think it's worth alger within his daljit. And i love your always going through the archives there at work doing your research looking for opportunities for dads just just enhanced our viewer. Your are are listenership to us listening to our listeners. Listening Go there you are so committed to your craft just committed to as bad at a dad adam going to the vault of sitcoms for your pleasure. He gets amazing. I'm very proud of the md. Silver spoons brings us to a much simpler time as they say. I never thought. I'd be one of those adults would say. Do you remember the simpler times. But given what's going on in the world right with our our corona virus. Recent election simpler times i think is what we all need right now. Do we do think that are are you now. Now that we're adults look back on my god. They were so software because they were even though at the time. He thought they were the the most devastating no matter. What was your teens. that's history. I ed jennifer Review for movie Now we're back to movie nights movie nights in. Somehow i got the idea of. We want to watch a comedy. So i thought i don't know what happened like ooh blades of glory very funny. That's the ice skating movie with. Yes and john herod and so. My girls Their laughs are just the best. And what's funny is might might makila got most of the inappropriate jokes. Briana l think she gets them but she kind of understands the premise of everything else. And there's dad in that super the guy actually a this billionaire guy goes out adopts little kid and becomes a a wonder kid on the ice in the polar opposites and so he watched that the other night. I gotta tell you nothing gives me greater. Joy listened to my girls laugh as they're laughing all the right places. I've seen it'd be watching a while at md yet. You gotta throw it in there. You gotta there's nothing. There's nothing to get you in one of those like deep belly laughs than a will film. I hear they're even going to be doing a wedding. Crashers two per has just announced it. The crashes too i mean that's just will farrell went to. Usc wasn't fraternity. I can't fathom being in after thirty and being with him because he's just soak so for the kids know who from elf yup but That that was a real highlights of our is dead. Just listening to your kids laugh and like you said with silver spoons and go into those moments that it was just a lighthearted many many of us in our house with more relief things earlier. You know Different through our country but for right now Checkup blades of glory. That was doing the a bit critter cartwheel's ice and they're holding each other. I their faces or their faces. I- briana was laughing so hard. Her cheeks were hurting because turn you know it's funny but it's really just a a fun story. Well let seven. We'll ferrell's just one of those comic geniuses who acts with his face and even though he's holding a serious face. Yeah it's hilarious just just because you know you know with the finish line is is is supposed to be. He did that in old school when he gave that speech about economics against james carville and even though he was like in an out of body experience it was so hilarious just because of the facial expression as best. We were obese. Couples couple summers ago. Nasdaq brothers funny stuff. Goes up to the the drums yes. We realized how risque that film was with with four delegates at the time but boy from from the gut in in love that. Say oh yeah. Oh yeah rewind rewinding itself but that's you know at the time i think he was ten or eleven years old and that's going to happen so coach. I have a feeling that over the next couple of weeks. We're gonna be talking about a lot of movies and tv shows. Sports are winding down outdoor sports or winding down. Know they're thinking about what's going to happen with the winter. Sports says most of them are indoors not really worried about that. And who knows. Maybe maybe we'll have a bad to the dad film festival and tell you what they listeners. If you want to recommend a movie or tv series contact us at bad to the dad dot com. That's contact us. At bad to the dad dot com will add it to social media. Maybe we'll do a little bit of social viewing and talk about it on our podcast offer a little tease for one of our season specials. That'll tease aisin. Please do i'm. I'm getting excited about it. Now that we're three episodes and probably one of the series you're going to be talking about mandalorian we had. We had the guys over in this. Is the weather is nice. Last week we watched the first couple episodes of the mandalorian. So you can expect us having the experts Expert jet is back to the show. Talk about it. Although i'm getting the sense that one of our dads not advan not feeling it. He's not feeling it. And and i get that and you know we. We love a little free debate. The way this this is a special probably due right around new year's time and in addition mandalorian we'll talk about the boys on amazon which saw the most outrageous super shows. You'll ever see. Also i rela academy umbrella academy the whole thing too about Three episodes into into the season was going to be a season. Three is busy okay. Seven little catching up to do but lots to talk about in science fiction and fantasy and yeah about the mandalorian so the three episodes in and you know there are some people who are die hard star wars fans were saying out in cyberspace This season is done. I've had it so after two episodes or like the season's done the third episode was pretty good will and there's been political backlash backlash correctness on a show. That's in space in science. Fiction and people are really angry angry. Like how dare they an episode two. I mean we have. We have to remind people that this happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away far away barbarians our guest. He's coming up next on to the dead. We are to the dead with coach. Randy and adam de remember for a mere fifteen dollars each cushion money fifteen bucks. You can be a sponsor on bad to the dad. And what do you get for those fifteen dollars coach. Let me tell you the guy tell you please. won't you tell us okay For fifteen dollars you not only get promotion but you get over promotion so of course. We'll splash your brand on our social media pages but we'll also talk about you and your business incessantly on the upcoming episodes. That's fifteen dollars to sponsor on bad to the dad coach. You know what i loved about going to college acted it. Got me away from my house question. That can be so many things. I know so many things about you shans okay. So we're we're going. We're going back to that. That's a roundup. Yeah the beauty of going to college. I didn't have a ton of friends but the friends i had were high quality friends and they are the gift that keeps on giving. We've had quite a few years to be Hofstra based friends who are doing really remarkable things especially as dads and today's episode is no different. We've got my good friend. A technical operations. Nbc boston and ambassador of movember and even in his own movember campaign. And that is keith barbaria keith. Great to have you on to the dad. Thanks for spending time with us. I got thanks for having me. I really only agreed to come on. If you're gonna call on call front so regarding box checked box checked and we can move on. Hey it's been a great episode key. Thanks for being on birth. But i just but i just so keith. First of all. I know you're living in boston now. And you lived in hartford but a long island kid and a die. Hard mets fan so you have got to be on cloud nine right now with with the new ownership. What what what are you going. Through as a as a mets fan who's just been waiting for years for some sort of light. Well i think it starts Like a feeling of us oppy right. You have these new honor and reaching treatment. Still kind of talking away from the hand like is a little hard to hard to believe still. Obviously the future doesn't has never looked brighter for mets fan. They just needed to deliver it here on all the great words for earring so yeah i'm hopeful for sure but as a fan bar bars low so if i can watch competitive baseball and actually enjoy a game. In to the end of the summer i could see them at. That's a man. I just hope that uncle stevie cone decides to buy the jets to is yes. Let's let's start with one change for that man just in your pocket change. Seems but he'll he'll make i mean he's already cleaned house. He's bringing in his own people. He's he's talking about all that the the top free agent. So so we'll see you know it's november so we have to talk about baseball because that gives us a little bit of hope for for the spring so agni never worked so i think there were people in layers of leadership there that had all this history and were married to ideas and always doing things. It was time to sweep it out. Start over so that might be the best move. You may from the awesome all right well. We'll stop talking about the mets because it could. It could depress us. Let's talk about some some more interesting things and of course the reasons why we've had john so keith. You you've been in the news business for quite some time now the better part of rim years since one thousand nine hundred none of your business And i know you're with the today show which must have been a marvelous experience. Because there's some great personalities there have been working your way through the ranks through the nbc system but this year in particular you know as head of technology and being entrenched and nbc. Boston which is no snow. Small-market by any means you know. Take us into the take us into the scene. What did you see this year. Given all of the news events that occurred maybe the political season wrapped up. We knew it was coming and early on. You know all that rhetoric been around for four years so it didn't feel all that different earlier on but as we got closer to elections boy. Did it ramp up. And then you add in the all the social issues we've had in the country and it became quite different atmosphere for a news organization. We went from a new tv. We do news and that's kind of a fun job to evaluating where we have to send our fuel crews and hiring professional security ex ex military ex-police to accompany our crews. Our crews were getting approach. Just because they have a camera or just because you may benefit as media even heard what we had to say. You know so. It's become a different beast out there in the field for field teams for sure and then that that just changes the way you have you feel about. You know we have to do the job. We're always very careful about how we craft our message. Tristate straight down amid on. Tell the story. But now you're just hyper aware that any mistake any perception that you lean one way or the other is to call out or even on the technical side you know. Technical issues can make perceived you are favoring one-storey over another. The camera failed as you're about to go to the trump presser while they did it on purpose right. So you know. You're careful unto make sure you're executing at a very high level all the time we really do feel the pressure. Did any of that happen did did. Did you get attacked and did cameras fultz out when they needed to work as far as the. The violence goes boston's a pretty good market. As far as that goes but it. But it's uncomfortable out there but other our other. Nbc markets has some really serious issues. Everything from theft to actual attacks to our reporters and then of course covering protests and riots comes with its own set of rules Both nights you know with our crews out there you know in people like me are back the stationary from home in the kobe. Days watching the video feeds come. In on radios and cell phones to our crew is trying to move them in maneuver maneuver them around the city safely and keep them at an arm's length of violence while close enough to be able to tell the story because that's utterly. Our job is local. Broadcasters based on our fcc requirement to the countries to provide the viewer with critical life safety information when the city's under under a riot. We have to be there. There's no excuse. We can't say sorry scary. We're going home right so we have to figure out how to do it safely in. Luckily here we got through it without any of our teams are getting hurt with some close calls. But like i said other markets up brick rescheduling fascinating. I just can't get over the fact that a job just reporting the news and Being attacked as to the reporters out there the hurricanes went on the polls in. That's that's amazing with think that there's actual we don't see the bodyguards of course likely -magine it'll teach you that in school. Oh by the way as a journalist be prepared to go out there with these. Big security are bodyguards. Because are you doing your job. That's right in school you like. Tv's going to be clarence. It's not glamour challenge right. It's it's a different east but it's exciting to like i. I've covered hurricanes. I was one of five people on a full seven. Forty seven flying to miami to cover hurricane in two thousand re. I actually nine ninety eight. It was and the only reason the plane was. That was floyd. No mine was hurricane george. Y'all and y'all reasonably was going to. Florida was to get people out. And i'm on the plane going to cover and the flight attendant says to me. Are you sure unlike no. So you'd better close the door because Office bulb right out. But you know it was me mia cameroon audio guy and we were just driving around the florida keys. Trying to find a safe place to stay through the storm which we were less than successful isn't the beachfront shack which was wonderful for the two days before the storm showed up. But once the water starts laughing on your front door you break curfew and you bolt and we got almost arrested for being out after curfew. And i use a today. Show t shirt annotation watch to ride my way into the emergency operations center for a spot on their floor to wait out the storm but in between those events were talking to the emergency operation center people to safety crews and we're trying to get the story trying to keep people florida's right and that's the core. What a news organization see. Everybody loves sh- wag. Coach you gotta have swag on you. It's not about money. It's the t shirts kick it off. Orissa hey i got. I got it today. Watch right here on time. It took the hat off my head. And i got into a space that i didn't have access to i always kept swag on but Coaching you make a very good point. They don't teach you this in college but was there any even crash course training for all of the things that were going on in the news this year you know between the riots and covert in the election and everyone was a celebrity death that went on that you earn hates driven this whole series of hurricanes at hasn't hasn't stopped yet other at least sort of. Hey we can't give our training but here's at least the need to know facts in order for you to perform your job better know my start into the business didn't come on with that. I definitely run into virus was was twenty four gone i was wall and do everything probably helped me a little bit. She just like run into the parking. No fear if i had to do today. Another whole different perspective but Having now been mystery for twenty five years with with nbc for twenty three. I have all this perspective. And i try to make sure that in my role now as leader with the station that i'm providing that information that people that have to go out there and do not me anymore thankfully but i can prepare them better so we did spend a lotta time all year with a field safety training wariness. All of those things are very deep in detail. Safety program that covers all sorts of risky events that are reporters to cover and we spent a lot of time on that topic this year for sure. So speaking of topics we want to switch gears a little bit. You've got the background that people see on social media movember and i know that you've been intimately involved in this campaign for the better part of nine years. I tell us a little bit about movember for those listeners. Who aren't familiar with it. And why you got involved in it Yeah so vulgar is a unique fundraiser organization. That really focuses just on men's health issues. And i don't think you know there's there's a lot out there but haven't really found one that just says you know what men are men. Don't like to talk about the health issues. Era suicide rates among men are very high. Because it's perceived to be weak to admit that you have emotional issues and we want to do something about that so i think that's what makes movember unique and the group that runs it as their dedicated in. It's really a full year fundraiser. With one month focused on the public growing really creepy mustaches. And i'm glad this topic. Because i i have to explain this anyway coming on and with this this is only happens for thirty days right but It started for me as founded on. Social media is like a fundraiser moustache. I thought that was the easiest laziest fundraiser ever and off the walk run just grow hair my money and i didn't think it would work and the first year raise like five hundred bucks mcdonagh's gic. How did that happen. I grew an ugly mustache. And what i found for. The first year is like it created this group where guys talked about the stuff they were dealing with and i found it refreshing and healthy the turned into social events. You know big fundraisers ours nights out in a social experience. That i wasn't having either. That thought was fun. So it just became this thing For nine years strata. Done this crazy mustache. Lead teams at and we. You know two years ago raised over eight thousand dollars thirty days so it's been kind of fun. That's awesome keith. You mentioned a few uncles on your on your web page and of course we wanna give everybody the web page so they can donate and hopefully eclipse the number that you have unscreened there which has seventeen o one which is still pretty amazing being that the the month is just under a half completed but so you were motivated personally in participating in movember. Yeah once you start thinking about fundraising and starting about manning your home is you realize. They didn't talk about their health issues. And i probably could learn from them and So yeah sometimes it was punk -als or relatives that were currently done without that sadly others that have already asked But i keep that close my heart is. I go through the month for sure website. It's easy it's member dot com. You can just click the donate blood if you just want to donate the reservation. You can always search for me if you feel like donating to me And you can use your camera. Declare your qr code to you That works but really important to get the money to movember so dot com. And just doing you know what. I'm finding keith. Is the diseases or the problems then. Mental or physical. Or you know related to the organs. I don't know maybe it's just an observation. I have really no data to support this. I feel like those kinds of elements are happening in men at a younger and younger age. Like i remember when heart disease was happening diabetes colon. Cancer it was in our grandfathers uncles when they were in their late sixties seventies eighties. And now you hearing about so. Many cases of of these problems in late thirties forties early fifties so it seems like the occurrences are happening younger and younger and men. If you're seeing the same thing. I think we're more aware of it. I think that might be the whole point year. I don't think we talked about it. In plain was dealt with plenty of things and we were told. Just rub some dirt on it and give back right and And you know to to admit that you you were broken a bit or you weren't bulletproof meant you may not get the promotion or you might not get hired or you couldn't young supply of your family and industry was bad that way back that but there are different rules now and Most good corporations support good health safer to to admit that you need help. You have issues and there's plenty to help out there if you look for you know case it's interesting. I think what you alluded to his at Might my grandfather had prostate cancer My father has just finished history for prostate cancer. She can pretty much guarantee that it's genetic And so. I already spoke to my doctor. I m much more aware of it. And i think that's why we're probably seeing cases. Earlier is because men were men right. I remember when i was in college. I think we're about the same time my professor bid it very clear that He grew up during time where men are. Men and helmets were made of leather. Saying it's it's nice to your other. I don't think we're really quite past that stigma as far as we need to be in terms of being okay to have emotional and mental health issues if the deal with it and yes you gotta get your boss jet. You have to you know. And it's no fun when the doctor jammed his finger up your your hyde part but you have to because ultimately it's about your health and it's okay to talk about that and i love the Involves new found a guys like you said it's just get a girl mustache. People give money to an organization That's fantastic good for you. Good for you. I know what to tie it into being a dad. Since that's the justice of this podcast. Right i mean what is more manly md. Well listen you know i. I learned a lot from keith at at hofstra. You know how to do a smooth transition. This is not now not a smooth transition because we're talking about the and so we're we're breaking it down but yes i did see what he did. They're paying attention coach. Yes very effective the plea artemije pointing out that you did a fantastic segue into the job that we haven't had the discussed in great detail how we do it. You did. Naturally he thank you. So much for your professionalism. I apologize for the eruption. But i just that's the nature of meat. You know hannity. i don't know i do anyway. What's more manly. What's more strong as man's you do what you have you for your family. Your kids being admitting higher risk who are health issue and getting a checked and staying alive longer for your kids not fbi at right that's gonna do. That's great so clearly your dog too. Which is the beauty of podcasting from home. Anytime the wind blows. You've you've got your neighborhood. Watch marketing away so so talk about being a dad. Did you always want to be a dad always. Yeah i think so. I think i always picture myself having kids. Yeah and say. Do you have multiple kids more than one. No i thought. I thought i'd want more than one in but after one while we loved the experience every minute was awesome We also decided one was enough so we were wanting to pretty quickly. We decided awesome daughter. She's amazing got you. Do you lease with the option of by a and he owns his own rubber gloves and speaking of rubber gloves. I understand that you're childbirth experience. Not you personally but you know you. You're in the room Is a little more unique to probably many of our listeners. You did a natural childbirth scenario in the home. Can you tell us a little bit about that. Yeah we were. We were seeing a midwife for care primarily and she offered home birth. When we weren't thrilled hospitals that she was associated with and something that really builds my wife As a standard guy and the early two thousands. Like are you crazy. you know. And that's kind of where. I started the more i i opened my mind learned about it. The more comfortable. I got and we chose to do a home birth Actually my parents house. Just we'd have support But it was the most peaceful amazing experience was just us in the basement with midwife. No doctors nurses around no machines. No of course if there was any issues. We're going to get up and go to hostile right. There was a backup plan but things went as expected. Labour started the night before by two pm. The next day on a saturday my daughter was born in a makeshift like pool that we you not a kiddy pool beer than that but it was a water birth in home in the basement. Parents house Healthy baby girl and when it was over we were just home. Like the whole thing was was awesome. We run full control. We did twelve weeks training to be able to advocate for ourselves and it was just an amazing experience and it was over. We would tell people and same reaction. You know that. I'm getting from youtube. Wow that's crazy in knots in while interested. I'm also horrified as kind of look. I always get what i tell the story. I just wanna make sure you put newspapers down. Because i'd be worried about flooding. Well there's a great. There's a great moment right but my parents especially my mother was a bit of a basket. She is normally so this was putting her over the edge. She was drinking by nine. Am but i had a shorter for months. That was going to be fine that we had it under control and we're trying to fill up a with water to make it a nice hot bath from my wife and tap water heater so it was like i couldn't get hot water. A little bit rusty water cleaned it out and start over so i shot up the stairs. Mom boil water and it was like you know the the the some western movie chart screaming back but anyway so but it was fine. We had hot water as a wonderful laugh but so everyone wanted to hear the story all the time we thought. Maybe we teach it and we. We went back to the organization. We learned from that point. It was called the bradley method of childbirth and we became certified as teachers when we started teaching natural childbirth eventually writing and creating our own course material and starting our own child natural childbirth class in connecticut taught over three hundred couples. How to advocate for themselves in birth. It wasn't just home birth. We taught we taught natural birth. No matter what the place you chose hospital home birthing center wherever it was. It was really about teaching people how to advocate themselves and prepare to be parents. Yeah night so. I have a question just because i'm a male and i don't give birth and i hear the i heard this natural right and so as to assume that there's some natural childbirth when you say natural is it because you're in. The pool is at the natural piece. Know your story quickly. Childbirth became very medical prestige car trying to remember the last president. I think it was jimmy. Carter was actually mourn at home and then and then right after him. Everyone was in the hospital like mothers our age. They were when they went to labor. They were knocked out it were they were given something go to sleep. Woke up his mother's and they had real trouble being most because they didn't experience becoming a mother was just. I woke up and a mom. Right and doctors in hospitals have taken such control. Rebirth are birth. Mortality rate is actually one the highest in the world compared to countries that how many less resources than ours. So there's been this push among women to take control back over their experience. Joe napa and natural so. Let the let the body do what needs to do until is a reason for intervention and then we dip into the wonderful amazing technology and science we have to save lives and to help women hound breath. So that's the difference between natural. Airplane makes sense very cool so now that you have a daughter what are you like to do with your daughter and of course you're your beautiful wife erica. What what's fun with the barbaria family these days so as a young father. You're like me can't wait. Stop and you know all the picture always you're gonna do the things you're interested. I hope she likes to sank. Mojave dabbled in niger. Which does najiba you have all these plans. Then you once. You're old enough to have been opinion. You're gonna have to do the things that they do. You wanna have a bond with your job. So really depends. We're hurting just go lately. It's been ballroom dancing them ballroom dancing for a couple of years The same way. If she got into golf i go play off right. I'm just. I'm more interested in having maintaining bond with my child really. I'm sure there's some things i won't do this. It'd be a short list of things i wouldn't do. May how old is she. she's fourteen yes. Freshmen in highschool. Yes yeah how fun is that. It's a great age. She still likes me like another year or two to really enjoy that for awhile. I realize you know if. I'm not there with a car the money she won't be as interested like me again when it's very nice. That's very funny. So we have this little segment on our show called dad vice where we kind of bring things home. It's advice for dads. So i mean you've had shared some wonderful stories from so many different things but if there's one piece of advice you'd like to offer our dads what would that be ties back into everything we've talked about in a way whether it's talking about your health issues for member or a the natural trauma piece. I think what. I've learned from myself and from coaching men to prepare to be fathers. Is that takes work. And you should prepare for it and you should learn and do the work as men will spend longer researching. The next tv were or the next playstation. We should spend more time doing that than we will to prepare for child or or for some other thing that attached of being father this takes work. And that's that's fatherhood No more important work in your life than this and if your interest after be pushed aside or you know. There's plenty of sacrifice to be made but the payoff is always so much better than sacrifice twice three times as much as the sacrifice. So my my advice to especially young dads is do the work. Ask the questions find other death. Read the book. Find the find. The badge of the dad podcast. I would have loved to have this podcast. When i was teaching the classes. Every father to be listening to this podcast this type of stuff. That wasn't around back right. Guys need to prepare to be fathers to be better father to be better husbands. That's three hundred downloads. Coulda had coach. Maybe even more our guest today has been keith barbaria. We covered a lot of ground. Movember of course being entrenched in the nbc news community of course natural childbirth as expected some amazing amazing dad vice keyed. That's been great having yom. Please give my love our love to your folks. I miss them dearly. To janine your sister Spent a lot of overnights at the are barrier household when i was going to school on long island and Get missed them dearly. It just Yet your car to the repair shop on when you lost your transmission but you were pushing me to the anco dealership right with micron with your car and then you let me you. Let me take your car home. And then i come from new jersey back to long island two days later while the car was being repaired on the island of things we do for our friends but again cherish cherish memories. And again you know look look forward to keep it on. Keep an on so a good luck with november one more time the website. How do we find information on november More particularly your your channel your site yet. Mogambo dot ru My name you'll come up as a as a mo- grow and you can donate directly to my face. Like i said i'm more interested in seeing the money. Go to move dot com donate on cain again. That's movember with an m. as in mustache november. Move mustache november. Yeah you'll see the logo with the mustache and you can't miss it. You can't go wrong. We are bad to the dad. Download us with you find podcasts. We are bad to the with coach. Randy and adam de remember few have guessed idea or a show idea or you have some movie ideas you want us to watch. You want us to talk about on our humble podcast here which is not terribly humble. You can email us at contact us. At bad to the dad dot com. That's contact us at bad to the dow dot com or. You can see us on social media. We're on instagram. Facebook twitter and linked in so our handle their for the most part is at bad to the dad can also contact us through our website and that is bad to the dead dot com coach. Another fine episode. We've gotten ourselves into episode eleven with keith. Barbaria from nbc. Boston also pushing and rightly so the whole movember thing with regard to me night's episode other great guests as you always bring them in adam date always. Do we want to thank keith. For making an appearance and bringing some awareness on a whole bunch of topics whole bunch of topics and episode eleven. It feels like just just yesterday. We had joe fooled on from the campaign project train. We probably have to get him back on here now that the election is over or even About his observations about jonah captain we again from north carolina so well north carolina was one of those. We're waiting we're waiting states. And lo and behold it did as he predicted factored in to to the election itself. Yeah so i again. I think we're really proud of season. Four hopefully you the listeners. Who tune in every week and download unless nastier proud to of the product that. We're we're putting out here and of course being part of our community. We really tried to make for topical and of course fun. It's a pet project that we love doing and is to come. we have a few few potentials. We're not gonna be able to confirm everything right now. We've got a few potentials. can you give them a taste. I'm gonna give them the we're gonna talk about our our good friend and comedian mark v. Who actually went through a hip replacement. He's a contemporary of ours. You know late forties early fifties who had hip replacement during covid very scary and was walking around with a not walking around but walker arou- around without a hip for some time just because they had to keep delaying the surgery. And you know. We're talking about men's healthier. I'm sure there are many folks out there who had undergo the same thing you know An elective surgery or semi serious surgery. That just didn't take priority over being treated with vying rid of a pandemic yes an hour clips in two hundred and forty five thousand deaths in this country which is remarkable on a on a bad note and really shouldn't be happening but we won't get into that matt fisher of demographics are our good friend right and Partner to a previous guest that we had right dr walked. Eric sachs saks orthodontics. But this is an entrepreneurial product. That's doing very very well. Teased straightening product. That's actually got some licensing deals with some of the major sports leagues. So we'll talk a little bit about running that business and doing that from from the ground up my old boss. Dave eberson from striker may make an appearance soda companies. I did some work with because of you. You know coach mike. My goal is to not only have a very healthy career in human resources and healthcare but also see how many ways i can get coach randy to do a a training seminar on venture all because of you i love and he keeps changing jobs. Try not to do it that often. But sometimes market conditions wherever thoughts. Yeah so now you can add to your resume. Right coach randy says. I've been in big pharma. Small pharma medical devices moving nursing one of these days. All these companies where you worked awesome stuff so again. The bad to the dad train just keeps on rolling episode twelve coming up next week. Keep an eye on social media. You'll know who the guest is but again we just love producing this thing and we're going to keep on doing it. We are bad to the dad. Dad's have a great week.

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Shannon Leigh Kos

The First Degree

57:34 min | 6 months ago

Shannon Leigh Kos

"Thank you for listening to this podcast one production. Now, available on Apple podcasts podcast one spotify and anywhere else you get your podcasts. You know it's been six months since we've been kind of stuck in our homes for awhile, and if you're feeling like you need to spice up your look why not try coloring your hair and you can do it at home and look great with Madison Reed with Madison Reading Get. Gorgeous. Professional Haircut delivered to door starting at twenty two dollars. You know for decades women have had two options for colouring their hair. It's either outdated home caller or the time and expense of a traditional line. But many Madison, Reed clients comment on how their hair-color has improved their lives women. Loved the results. It's gorgeous shiny multidimensional, healthy looking hair and this game changing hair color. You can do it home and look as if you just came from the salon and what makes Madison Reed Color unique is that it's crafted by master cholera who blend nuances of light dark. Cool. Warm tone secrete over fifty five gorgeous multi dimensional shades find your perfect shade and Madison Dash Free Dot Com and I agree listeners can get ten percent off plus free shipping on their first color kit with code first degree podcast that's code first degree podcast and Madison. Dash Reed Dot Com. degree. Degree degree. I agree. degrees. Think, they're supposed to happen in movies. We'll. Never. Truly really anyone. No matter how close you are because everyone Potentially the murderer. Welcome to the first degree the true crime podcast they you might end up on my name is Jack Vanik I'm sitting right next to Alexis linkletter. Right across from Billie Jensen the gang's all here guy gangs here for the first time in six months how we feel in pretty nice of a year feeling. Pretty good. I. Feel complete again. Yes. You guys complete me and I've been missing you for so so long I you guys to this is really nice. This is great. We're having some drinks just like old times we have jared on the computer doing all the edits or whatever the hell he does over there and yeah, it feels good. It does feel. Good Billy what's Day? Is it today? Okay. Now there is there's two days here one day I know the one that you're going to gravitate towards I, want to say one day before that though you're you're you're not as full before we started I said that there is a very specific damn excited to talk about you're not gonna get it but go ahead. Okay. Well, I'm going to get a well make your own luck day the reason why I like that is because the billy Zane quote from Titanic. A real man makes his own luck I love. Billy Zane. Hives never seen a hotter man and Billy Zane, in titanic I know he's very rated in the hotness level. Job On likable though because he was such a meany pulling that in that. They try to make him seem lame because he's like she has the Picasso paintings and he's like he'll never amount to anything. But he did want to see her and she said, no no. All right. It's also National Dog Day. That's a good one that is a good one that wasn't the one I was going to talk about is the one that you're going to talk about. So it's also national. Toilet Paper Day one day I have a bone to pick with. Alexis because. We're my apartment right now and I ran out of toilet paper and Alexis went to go to refilled the toilet paper Oh I know what you're gonNA say she's an under toilet paper loader okay. I'm not just at Your House I was quickly doing it I. Don't do that on my own house. I'm really sorry I've never noticed that before I was shocked you you would have something at my house you've noticed that I would just Haphazardly. Reloading the toilet paper dispensing device. That was my bad. So you're you're denying an over over or not an under. Okay. Well, I just had to bring it up because that was a shocking revelation. We're going make this mistake again. Clearly. I. Feel Scary Right now. You are you know scaring Alexis kind of It's kind of go. Well, you know that's enough of that. Don't be an under way. Not You anyone one listening got it. Okay. That's enough of that. So. Let's tune analyze and turn up your anxiety. Because this would be. Food. Two roads diverged in a wood in I took the one less traveled by in that has made all the difference. There moments in our young lives that when they're happening in real time don't feel all that significant. That boy you went out with but never kissed, Middle School sneaking out of your house to hang out with your girlfriends kissing a boy in your car by the lake in the woods. The moment passes and you move on with your life but there are those rare moments when you learn a piece of information that turns your world upside down. That moment could have sent you down a dark road. Today's case takes us back to October eighth of the year two thousand songs music by Madonna, and come on over baby by Christina Aguilera were topping the charts and movies like meet the parents and requiem for a dream were in theaters. The setting for today's case is struthers. In tears first degree. Shaka who grew up in struthers. So we grew up in struthers Ohio. which is small town because like thirteen square miles and. Is Not a lot of people. It was a big steel mill industry just as kind of a poorer area. and has his pockets of like wealthy wealthier spots but by means nothing like you know I guess. Scottsdale her. Hollywood. Small town you know you've got a quarter store got like one major grocery store. People Kinda keep to them on. The major city next to it is Youngstown Ohio, which was murder capital of. America in like ninety to. Ninety five looks around there a couple years, which is crazy to think because it's such a small little town. struthers doesn't even have cemetery. Questions that was on jeopardy was, what's the only city in America that doesn't have cemetery and I was like. Out struthers and that was the answers ratings. struthers. Ohio is right outside of Youngstown Ohio and it was in. Youngstown. On the evening of October eighth parents of twelve year old Shannon Lee costs were becoming increasingly anxious. That's because it was approaching midnight on a Sunday night. And hadn't seen their daughter since four. PM earlier that day. While she'd only been missing for eight hours we're dealing with the twelve year old. So this is pretty alarming. Especially given that it was a school night. Once the clock struck midnight and channel was still nowhere to be found her parents decided to call the police report her missing. The police arrived to speak with Shannon's mother and stepfather. They learned that Shannon was a seventh grade who attended nearby volney Rogers junior high. Shannon was extremely smart and intellectually ahead of most of the kids in our class and because of this, she also take courses at a local institution called the show Fan Career Center, which was part of only rogers gifted and talented program. So Shannon is clearly a very sharp kid. But as we know an implication of being so quick witted at such a young age is thinking that you know everything and sometimes even thinking that you know better than the adults in your life neighbors ascribe Shannon as a normal twelve year old girl although she did argue with their parents often had quite a rebellious streak. Shannon's parents provided a description of her. She had brown hair she's petite and she was very pretty. But certainly still look like a child remember she was twelve after all and that's the police speaking with Shannon's parents. They learned that she had been a bit of trouble lately. Parents have been experiencing some friction with each other, and this happens a lot with preteen kids and their parents but for Shannon and her parents had actually gotten so bad that Shannon had recently been arrested on domestic violence charges against her parents and following the charges she didn't have been placed on house arrest because she was becoming impossible for her parents to control. As, the police were listening to the story they started wondering if Shannon had come to play. Or maybe she had just run away after a fight with their parents. So the police need to flesh out this relationship. So, they speak with some of the neighbors to see what they could find out about the family. And one neighbor told the COPS that she would see and hear Shannon fighting with her family a lot. One day she told them. This is a quote I was outside digging in my garden and Shannon ran out of the house and her stepfather was yelling. I asked what was wrong and he said you don't want to get involved in our problems. So, what we're hearing about are these instances normal teenage growing pains or is there something more serious going on here? At this point, the police weren't sure but their instincts were that they were dealing with a runaway or an angry twelve year old was pissing her parents and we'll probably be back soon. At this point Shannon had only been missing for about nine hours. So this didn't have the earmarks of an emergency situation but Sunday night turned into Monday morning quickly, Shannon's still hadn't shown up and now she was missing a school day which was a big deal. Her parents were sure that something was wrong. But the police were still skeptical because it was clear that Shannon was a rebel and maybe she was hiding out somewhere around town to make some sort of a point to parents the police categorized Shannon's case as that of a runaway her parents said that she was missing and the neighbors said there was drama. So the next group of people they spoke to were Shannon's friends but none of them knew where she was and this is not good Monday morning turn to Monday evening in real worry and concern started to creep in. Now investigators are wondering if something more sinister is at play here and channeling a normal investigative thought process, they may have started to wonder whether Sharon's parents could be involved in their daughter's disappearance. After all day themselves admitted to the rocky relationship that existed within their family. Officers Fan out to speak with more of Shannon Social Circle. Acquaintances teachers classmates, neighbors. But no one had any idea where she could be or who she could be with. It was a mystery. But that was all about to change. It was not Wednesday October Eleventh Shannon Been, missing for seventy two hours. At around five PM, a hiker was walking on a bike trail and east mahoning township. which was actually in Pennsylvania. Just an hour from the. Ohio. Border. This particular area was one that are first degree. LESHICA had heard about before and although she'd Never Ben. Teams at her school referred to this place as Zombie land just the names Zombie. Land is really creepy itself and COMES WITH A lot of legends about monsters are like. Murderers and killers I never wanted to go I had heard about people going out. Saddam Belan to drink or do drugs but I was. Just, wasn't I wasn't like invited depart either wasn't. Super Popular Myself. And there were many stories about Zombie land. There was the bridge known by locals as the Frankenstein Bridge Legend had it that if someone wrote your name upon this bridge bloodthirsty goals that lived under the bridge would rise up and kill you. There was the abandoned house locals called the Blood House where a witch lived and Lord young children to their deaths before burying them in a Cornfield. and. Then there was the green man, the glowing ghost of a man who was electrocuted in the area and continued to haunt the grounds, all these stories me, for Halloween, Tales and urban legends. But Tragically, Shannon would now be added to the law of Zombie land because on Wednesday afternoon, the body of twelve year old Shannon Lico was found. Saw It on the news. It was a news story about a girl young girl who was missing and they found remains at just like super young and I was like what? I saw. I saw the snippet of news and I thought God I need to find out what happened. When police arrived at Zombie land what they found was something right out of a horror movie. Shannon's body was lying face down near an abandoned railroad line. She had many visible sharp force injuries she'd been stopped and it seemed as though her killer or killers had tried to conceal their crime by attempting to burn Shannon's remains. The investigation into the disappearance of Shannon Lee costs had now switched gears. Shannon had been murdered in brutally at that and who could be responsible for something. So horrific. Shannon's face was all over news. TV segments and newspapers and police hope that tips would start pouring in. Police processed the scene hoping that some physical evidence was left behind. That could point to a possible suspect in this case. An autopsy was conducted and it was revealed that Shannon had been stabbed forty times in the neck and torso, and the police believe a large knife had been the murder weapon. And based on the level of decomposition believe that she had been killed somewhere between forty and seventy two hours before she was found. And like we said. Of Her body had been burned. The community was reeling from the news of Shen's death. But no one was more devastated than her family. and. They made the following statement to the media. And here's what they said. Quote Shannon was bright artistic girl whose life became troubled within the past year. For reasons, we are still struggling to understand. We made many attempts in cooperation with her school through counseling to help her. Little victim blaming and it it feels to me. This is two thousand and it's almost like they were anticipating criticism I. Think it almost is setting up that they believe that Shannon might have. died by suicide. Yeah. Maybe they didn't know yet when they made the statement, the circumstances under which because it just seems defensive something. Exactly. Cases like vests were not common instructors and understandably everyone heard about this was shaken to the core. Who would do this to a twelve year old girl? Detectives were determined to answer that question, and luckily as they hoped, tips did start role in. Someone who had driven by Zombie land area on the night after Shannon. Had disappeared reported seeing a ninety four dodge shadow parked alongside the road not far from where Shannon's body had been found the police went back to Shannon's friends and this time they started to open up about some of Shannon's activities in the weeks prior to her murder. In some of those activities involved a much older boy that Shannon had been seeing a boy named billy Monday. And when we older, we mean significantly older because billy wasn't a boy billy was a man. He was twenty one years old and he had been quote unquote seeing Shannon for about a month and remember Shannon's twelve. So. Billy was a local around town. He was a bit of metal head and he hadn't really done much since high school and obviously police are going to look at this man who was hanging around with twelve year old girl when they found out one detail about him they knew they had to bring him in. But what was that detail? Well, Billy's mom drove in one, thousand, nine, hundred, four, dodge shadow one that matched the description of the one seen near where Shannon's body had been found. So, once his connection was made billy was brought in for questioning obviously, and it wasn't long until two more billy's friends were also brought in to the police department to be interrogated. Their names were Dave Garvey and Perry Riccardi, and both were twenty years old. And then a tale started to unravel back tober fifteenth. All three of them had been arrested for killing twelve year old Shannon. And Billy's Mugshot. He has a thin moustache short spiky hair and a hollow dead look on his face. Davis Mugshot depicts a man with a mustache, a goatee and swept back here. And another glazed look over his face. Both of these guys look literally dead inside and the police believe that Shannon had fallen into a trap set by the man who planned to rape and murder her they said quote we believe that these three guys planned to rape and kill her and that this was a kill for thrill. We believe that sometime between when they picked her up and when she was killed, they decided that they are going to rape and kill her. When LESHICA had heard about the murder of the twelve year old girl she was disturbed. Of course who wouldn't be if you heard of such a horrific crime being committed in your own backyard. But when she found out who was arrested for committing the crime. She was floored I. Really didn't know what happened I. Didn't have I. didn't feel like crying I guess into what was going on then I came more attention when it was like, okay, this remains found the viscount and it's lead. You know the suspects are. These. People I was just like Whoa the they just superior Cardi late. In the Steve Garvey Billy money I just thought they have the wrong person there's no way carry would be involved. LESHICA actually knew all three of these men. In fact, she don't billy Monday since she was Shannon's age. I laced in middle school he was heavy. But he was good friends with. My best friend's over brother, and so he would always be in the neighborhood he a couple of streets down we lived in these apartments. There was also a certain level of distinction with all the families. We kind of what I call one, another boyfriend girlfriend, but it really wasn't. Just the fact that he would come over and I would it's hair or Just hang how like I thought that was being girlfriend but you never like went out on dates. I was way too young to date anyway. Billy. Monday and Dave Garvey best friends. In fact Dave living with billy at the time the murder took place. They were all friends I. Think they were like a little bit of a click and. They were kind of like he outsiders they weren't like Gothic but. The allied heavy metal. They liked university metallica or insane clown, posse year. Dirk music's but. They didn't really seem to like get get excited about being destructive of property. Or other people like they weren't getting in fights or beating other people love burden like that like they just Kinda. Chill in. Good Times. I don't ever recall even raising he just was so calm and mellow. But he was a bit of a follower. I think that when he found his people his group, he stuck with them. No matter. What is very loyal. He was just seemed so gentle and wallace she knew Dave belly she was closest to Perry and his arrest and involvement shocked her the absolute most my relationship with Harry we were closer than I. was I think I was the closest Perry out of all, all the guys. He had. He had. Just this way about him he's just really integrate. Smile. We were in show fire together. That's really where we got close and we spent a lot of time on school buses going to and from performances and hanging out and talking we did hang out after school sometimes he was older than me on. Handsome great here because brute smile you get saying you know he had assisted or sister so I think he had A. An appreciation for females. That, some guys who's age didn't how? If they thought. He was really kind he would stand up for people. Or what he thinks he believed in. Even though it wasn't popular opinion and other kids, would you know make fun of tease him but it didn't seem to bother he just seemed very secure himself. and. It didn't feel like anyone. Could she? LESHICA had spent a lot of time alone with Peres while. Jerry I mean. We one point I remember we were in a car together. Just, he and I and we had gone to this. Little. Late instructors in their of Rosa and we'd gone there just sat there at the lake in the car just watching you know like getting dust. So just Kinda. Sums coming, down and. It just seemed really nice and we would just talk just hop to each other. About stuff is our future our hopes we didn't talk about lake. Traumatic things that happened to US wanted to be successful. Wanted to do something there is. So you know when you buy a new dress and it fits amazing except for like a little spot, you wish you could smooth out a little bit well now, you can with shape wear from shaper mint shaper from shaper meant smooths you out. It feels comfortable and it gives you that little boost of confidence and I can easily find the perfect shape. Where because SHAEBER BERMAN DOT COM has all the best products and brands they have tanks, shorts, bodysuits more their shape for every occasion, and unlike the leading brands shape wear from shape is super affordable. 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Perry were in custody each confessed to decrease in gave bits and pieces and snippets of what had happened on the night of Shannon's murderer, and here's the picture that the three of them painted. It turned out that billion Shannon had been romantically involved for about a month and it's not clear how and where they met with the prosecutor. In this case in media interviews specifically mentioned how troubling this age difference Shannon and billy was in when we see romantically involved, of course, this was a twenty one year old with a twelve year old. So we're calling this rape peer this he was raping her. On October Eighth Shannon called billion him to pick her up in front of a laundromat Youngstown, which is not far from where she lived. So Dave was living with this time after they picked up Shannon they picked up Perry at his house billy was driving day was in the backseat with Shannon and Perry sat up front in the passenger seat. Did, they stop at a fast food place where they bought NACHOS for Shannon? From there, the four of them eventually drove across the state line to the desolate Zombie land area. And before they got into the car, they smoke some weed. They were all hanging out outside and walking around. And at a certain point when it was getting late Shannon said that she wanted to go home. But then billy said that she needed to take a walk before they leave. It's at this point investigators learned that these men had mused and disgust a shared fantasy that they had one that involved killing and raping a girl, and it's something that they would talk about when they would go to Zombie land beforehand. These three guys they would drink some whisky. They'd smoke some weed, and then they talk about a scenario they one day wanted to act out and this scenario involved picking up young female taking her to a secluded area and knocking her unconscious before raping her sometimes they discussed next steps maybe they would drop the victim off naked outside a police station or maybe after the rape, they would murder her. Now okay. This shared delusion thing is so interesting to me because we kind of hear about this and different scenarios like this reminds me sort of the slender man case where how'd you find? Other people that are as. Nuts, as you are that, have these same desires. Right. I think what it is personally is less about finding people who share the seem sick fantasies as you. It's all about the ratio, but amongst friends whose will stronger who who's more impressionable because if you have a really domineering personality somebody who's really charismatic in makes this sort of thing sound cool and then you have a really weak charactered person, they're just going to adapt to the stronger personality and I think especially in this sort of age group their post. High School Little Direction I. Think it's really easy to manipulate people who don't direction and I I mean I think that's a simple explanation. It's way more complex than that because you have to be anyone of US would would stand up leave a room of something inappropriate was going on. But I don't know bellied do you have any insight? Think it's. I think you're right. It's listened finding three people. You're not going around on the first day of school or the last day of school and say, Hey, what are you doing after graduation? Do you WanNa? Do this shared dot? But. You find somebody you find people that are. That are similar to you. So they're. In every friend group, there's usually going to be somebody that's more of a leader, Domina and. You know you're going to test that out and who knows if he tested this out and tested this this this desire out with maybe some other dudes as well and but these are the guys that said, yeah, that would be cool. I think the testing out is the is the discussion like it's a joke. Well, that's what I'm saying. Where it's like I'm sure. There are. Thousands of people that have I mean though this is like a sick discussion most people don't think that they're going to actually act it out one day right. So that's where you know you kind of crossed the line we're maybe. Two out of three. These guys never thought. It would actually come to a reality and then get stuck in a situation. Correct. So on the night, these three guys had. Shannon. Alone at Zombie land according to Perry statement during the walk they were on with Shannon remember they said before you can go home we're gonNA. And during this walk billy whispered to him quote nobody knows where Shannon is right now. And then he asked him to answer yes or no in reference to their plans to rape and kill Shannon. So Perry told the police that after billy questioned him in press to multiple times he finally said, yes, and then the free suspects discuss how to carry out this crime and no one could decide who was going to deliver the first blow. And at a certain point, Shannon asked one of them for some change for some coins. Because she wanted to throw some coins in a nearby river for good luck to make a wish. One of the men gave for fifty cents and she tossed the money in the water. And it was at that moment that billy grab Shannon from behind and pushed her to the ground. The other two joined in and pulled her pants off. Harry said that billy offered him Shannon, but he refused to assaulter. and Dave Garvey tried to, but he couldn't perform. And when I say perform, he couldn't Raipur. Then billy picked up a knife and started stabbing her neck from behind. Shannon was screaming as Perry walked away. Thought. They have the wrong people in. As the case progressed in I you know saw that there was like a confessional. Statement and I. was just raw like. How could? Someone. That I knew do something you know the person that could give you their off their back. That was just time could do something like this to someone. Any planned and have the ability to stop it and not. I sick to my stomach. because. If anything regarding like children, any abuse to children, even a sexual relationship consensual. I don't think should take place between someone who's twenty someone who's twelve I just don't think you should being out. So I was disgusted was angry. Hurt the family for. For all the families for the town not many people. were interested in him and usually I find that when guys WanNa be was like really younger girls it's because they can't find someone their own age that would wanna be with someone with them. He was not. Bright. So he probably wasn't very well developed. The intellect wasn't there so. Finding a young person, a twelve year old. They're kind of like on your same level. But at the same time you're older your bigger, you can exert control and power over them. After they killed Shannon Billion Dave went to a gas station. They wash themselves off and they cleaned off the knife. And built all the others what an adrenaline rush the whole thing was for him. and. Attempt, Explanation Billy told the detectives that he and Dave had taken eight hits of acid before they picked up shannon outside of the LAUNDROMAT. Billy. Then said that he quote unquote saw red and basically blacked out. As he came out of his acid trip he saw shannon bleeding on the ground here member this and bits pieces and flashes, and then he remembered seeing Dave covered in blood and holding the knife the following day billion Dave went back to the gas station. They bought twenty five cents worth of gas. They put that gas and a soda bottle and they went back to Shannon's body. And they dumped the gas on her remains. Then, they used a wooden match in an attempt to burn Shannon's body. Along with evidence of the horrible thing that they had done. and. They underestimated the difficulty of this task and eventually they abandoned their efforts. Divers searched a nearby lake called Lake Hamilton in search of the murder weapon, and they eventually did find the serrated fold up knife that belong to Dave Garvey. The knife was found in fifty feet of water about twenty five feet from the shore. Blood belonging Shin was found on Mondays blackfellas sneakers in there were bloody footprints found at the scene as well. Friends of the three boys were interviewed. Many were aware of their sick fantasies and had heard them discussing them before Dave, Garvey and billy Monday would pull out their pocket knives and talk about how nice it would be to kill someone in the group of men apparently had a saying when it came to young girls quote too young to date but not too young to rape. Dave Perry Billy were each charged with one count of criminal conspiracy to commit rape criminal conspiracy to commit homicide kidnapping and. Restraint. All three were also charged with abuse of a corpse. And one of the Criminal Court hearings just a month after the killing Shannon's mother Patricia was in the attendance she actually walked up to billy and slammed him in the back of the head and honestly I admire her restraint because I would have done so much worse. And following the incident sheriff had to stand in between them for the rest of the hearing. Prosecutors called what had happened to Shannon kill for thrill. And that Shannon was purposefully targeted for brutality and then to cover the murder. Her body was soaked with gasoline and set ablaze. To the media prosecutors promised to seek the death penalty in the case against all three perpetrators. Don't get the motives. How could you? Why did you allow this to take place? Why did you not stop it? Didn't you think of other people? Were you thinking? I didn't ever feel comfortable with pair even when I was alone with him I didn't feel like he was. Trying. again, advances that I didn't want or or anything and we cast. And It was tender it was beautiful in. Reconcile. The actions. that. He's imprisoned for acid in Florida and I'm just like it was just disbelief so Like alternate reality, this cannot be happening. Why would he allow something like this to happen? Why would carry allow this violent? WHY WOULD Participate. Why they could the two of them have just been like this is not cool. We're out you know run run away from danger. Billy David Perry each had separate court proceedings. Perry was twenty two by the time he went to trial and he took the stand and testified in his own defense and pointed to the fact that he didn't actually inflict any of the physical wounds that killed Shannon on that night. The defense in fact pointed to billy as the mastermind, the crime but the jury did not care. This was such a horrific crime in this area. There was no way that he was getting away with being on the fringes of this and not. Accountable as as billy was. So Perry was found guilty of first degree murder kidnapping, unlawful restraint as well as conspiracy. Ghauri pleaded guilty to third theory murder. With his plea, he avoided the death penalty was sentenced to twenty to forty years in prison. Philly Monday ended up pleading guilty and was sentenced to life in prison. So we'll each of them escaped with their lives. The whole ordeal demonstrates the waste of four lives that could have gone on to do incredible things but instead, Shannon is dead and three young twenty somethings will rot in prison, and of course to those who had known these three men who were implicated in this nightmarish crime. This entire scenario was surreal and chilling because remember. She had spent a lot of time with each of these guys. So this is very nerving. Maybe the emerges guys who were good at showing. People, pieces of themselves that they were. Okay with. GimMe. And I. I was only self like that situation. What would I do like I say now, why did you stop it or writing see no or white run, and I'd like to believe that I would be able to do that I'd like to believe that I wouldn't even get myself in that situation. But if I did when I be strong enough to. To Stop It. Billy David Perry remain in prison to this day. And while Perry, is appealing his sentence no significant movement or progress has occurred I just imagined then sitting in prison. Hopefully thinking about the destruction caused to so many people. Regretting. And trying to make whatever men's they can possibly make. So following the life sentences how did those? Who knew them feel? I felt relief that possibly there would be some sort of. Some sort of closure for families by hope is that they are thinking on a regular basis daily. About their victim and their victims families and I hope they regret it. Equally I remember thinking, you can never truly really know anyone no matter how close you are I mean I imagine that his Harry's emily. His sister never thought that he would. Be a part of something like this in because of that it, it does make me more cautious. About who? I spend time with not being so careless and reckless in thinking that just because we're young. Doesn't mean that you won't evil hurry. Because everyone. Can Be Murder. So the one picture of Shannon that is available online she's wearing those stretchy black lack chokers that we're supposed to look sort of like head on to right. And it's so funny in my seventh Grade Picture I'm wearing one of those two in my hair is up a messy bun just like hers and it looks like She's my friend in high school absolutely and the picture that's available I. Don't know if it was a school picture, but it kind of the way that it looks almost looks like one of those bowl portrait of pictures. So for us I mean she was. A year or two younger than both of us. So it kind of hits home because we would have been her age at the time, and if she was still here, she would have been are h. now, and for me, it's weird I had a really rebellious strange period between probably twelve and fourteen as well. That was when I was the angriest listening to the fewest rules and it just makes you really think about all the times. I snuck out of the House all the time they did something bad. It could've ended this way and you just never think you're going out for fun with your friends you're going out for fun with these older guys. In you just never think anyone's out to hurt you and these people were amusing not only about killing someone but they were being vocal about it in front of their other friends and no one did anything or said anything and they just appeased them by pretending it was okay to have these these feelings and I'm not saying that we're responsible for the actions of others but only if a friend or an acquaintance is. Don't assume people are joking I guess I don't know what else to a thing one should ever be joking about yeah, and I think the sort of zero tolerance has definitely we've seen it with school shootings. Somebody makes a comment. Oh, I WANNA shoot up a school. Oh, I want to blow up the school. We've gotten a lot better of saying you know what? There's something off here on a intimate and I think. That that's what's ringing in my head when it comes to something like this is that it's not just something like that. It's not just school shootings people potentially if they're talking about this as well. GotTa go tell somebody. Absolutely. We started this episode with the most famous lines from the poet Robert Frost. These words are often quoted during graduation speeches or retirement toasts. They're meant to illustrate the choosing the uncommon path will lead to success to something different to individuality. and. Not is one interpretation. Another could be that no matter which road you choose never know what you might have missed on the other road. In. Far First degree making out with that boy in that car by the lake that other road might have made all the difference. All, right. Well, huge huge. Thank you. Tila, Sheikha for being our first degree gassed if you're listening and you have a story that you would like to tell, please email us. Hello at the first degree PODCAST DOT com. Please follow some instagram at the first degree out. Alexis linkletter at Billie Johnson at Jack Vanik, join our facebook there eight thousand people in there. It's crazy. We're talking all the true crime and we'd love for you to join just searching the first degree, the search bar and stick around because we're gonNA kill some time. Remember only you can prevent serial killers and keep your friends close. Not. The first of its been on. Because when we were doing it digitally, we couldn't match it up but. Happy. Twin paper I won't do the under. Don't be an under happy dog day. Luck, day. Make, your own luck everyone. Be Like Billy Zane Zane. Don't be be billy. Not. Johnson just seeing. By. Our music mixing and sound design on today's episode is courtesy of the wonderful the amazing jared Monaco and shout out to our new producing team caitlyn Cleveland Taylor Rogers. Sources for today's episode include the Pittsburgh Post Gazette Dayton daily news the Ohio. Tribune the Akron Beacon Journal the La Times the, times, Tribune court documents, and as always our first guest is always our largest source. The only thing worse than having to deal with that of the month is having to deal at that time of the month if you have really sensitive skin and that's why we love carefree breathe. So carefree breathe offers a line of skin friendly pads and panty liners go beyond leak protection to keep your skin dry in near tation free carefree breathe offers irritation free protection for your most sensitive area. There clinically tested by dermatologists to meet sensitive skin standards and their free from fragrances drop dies and her Sheraton's. Aaron fused cover and a soft touch field that keeps your skin dry. So like days reach their panty liners when you need more protection, they've got you covered with their super and overnight observances. Infant periods happen stay protected and help prevent Feminine Discomfort with Carefree Breathe Ultra thin pads. You know irritation can be caused by multiple reasons and harsher and wetness to name a couple. So checkout carefree breathe and for more information or by check it out on Amazon or Walmart Dot com or you can find at your. Local grocery store or maybe CVs. Did you know that right now who is offering an extra fifteen percent credit on car motorcycle RV policies that's fifteen percent on top of all the money that guy could save you. So what are you waiting for your dog to make you breakfast in bed as nice as that sounds is probably never going to happen but at least there's never been a better time to switch to Geico even extra fifteen percent when you switch by October seventh visit dot Com to learn more. Alright will welcome to another episode of killing time I. Know we didn't have killing time last week but I said it would be worth it for this week because we're together. Yes. Gangs all back gangs are here and here. We guys here on what do me speak up mission control? He's so. Yes. Joe You're controlling the scenario, we need him. When we would record in person which now you guys it's been six months. We're talking about a released six months six months March the beginning of March last time we did it I can't believe it's been six months number one. It's sad. But when we would record, jared would always be. Around maybe it'd be manning the system to make sure that we get up because we did up. So. You think you guys have done a great job of doing this from home. Honestly, it's it's also easier as easy. It's easier than doing it together. It takes less time setup it takes less than a SCHLEP somewhere. I do enjoy you guys in person more so though. With more. So for the hangs totally I know but you guys did come over with a whole suitcase for all of our shit it was a whole suitcase. Box of our remote recording stuff like up on a ledge. Low. Maintenance it's really easy but I do feel like part of our chemistry is lost weight together it is. So it's really good to be back in the same room with you all and we've we're being really safe about it. I was just tested a couple of years ago. So as I so as you're. was building. So we thought it was the perfect time for all of us to join forces Lexus and I have been in our quarantine pods for like months right and then Alexis and are working on a new project. We are. We're going to be mean bill. You'RE GONNA be living in a house together for six weeks. Can you talk about what the project is? Not We can't talk about the specifics, but we can talk about we could. What can we ut's I feel insane people we can say that the TV project and we can say that it's About X. Place on the East on the east. coast. We can say it's a long island actually. About a true crime related site. alands and do some deductive reasoning. Yeah. So that will be out in February. So as soon as we can say something we will we will. Well, I'm actually a little bit offended that I wasn't invited to take part Fratto said you can't come what the Helmet GonNa do with billy for six weeks house. hobbies surprised if you guys both make it out alive to be fair, know what track I was actually going to ask you this. Without talking to Alexis but could we have kind of a hotline that talked during this entire? What your hotline is it's jared. Jared, I'm here billy in his bedroom talking about golden retrievers. I'm going to know for sure who he's talking to. Hear Your Voice on the other end of that facetime jacqueline belly I will feel betrayed. I know whose side you're on. Well, we're literally sitting on two separate sides of the room right now because it's literally girls versus boys in this whole situation to open up my hotline for billions. Thank you honestly I'll just barge in and I'll just it. I'll just. On Your door no privacy bill. You'll be like, I hate this so much about Alexis. You'll be like I hate it to. Anything you hate about me I already hate more. Worry no one hates me more than me see? That's what I. Think is such a it's so great when there's haters like haters online sometimes billiards tons of haters. Than you don't worry about it. What do you think you're going to get under my stand nothing that you can do that's going to make me feel any worse than they are already feel well, what I was cracking about I think it was two 'til killing times ago. I. Was talking about this. There's a reason we made our podcast scripted. It's we took our personalities out of it because we hate them too. Only if we stick around for killing time that that means you sorta like it which I commend you I don't know. Well, here's the thing we're polarizing to some people. I'm sure. So it's like we got some shit sometimes for like inserting too much of a personality into the episodes. It's also hard to like we joke around and have a good time. and it's very hard to make sure that that is respectful. One hundred percent of the time. So it's like we're going to remove all that shit out especially because we're talking about such sensitive topics. So we're happy to be have the bedside manner to not be joking around and all of that which we don't anymore and we never really did I mean. Very. seriously. But that being said, if you don't like her personality, there's none of that in the show. Yeah. Don't listen to killing time and you'll you won't have to deal with our shenanigans. It's literally like reading from a script absolutely poorly yes. That is why we put it at the end that is why open at the end. Okay. So this is the first day that we have hung out in six months as a group. Well, we did have one social distancing a couple of months ago we got kicked off the beach. That's when we got kicked off the beach we I live. Near the marina and Los Angeles and we have like a quote unquote beach. Hang, and there is only four of us there and we were sitting probably twenty feet away from each other so. We didn't. Yeah. We did not go near each other and we got yelled for being on that beach. A car drove by saying. Pandemic. We're the only people on the beach yet. Now when it looks look outside and we're still in the middle of a pandemic, there were thousands of ball. On top of each other is weird. I don't know what to do about that. I don't know what the things about that. Let's conflict because the safest place to be is outside especially at the beach where you got the. Events being such social creatures if you're trying to be safe. Compromise would be meeting outside. So it sort of just difficult because there's nowhere else to go. I think bottom line is that if you if you're if you meet friends outside if you social distance, you're good. Yeah it's it. Where the spread happens is when you're inside when you go to a party when you go to a family party when people are hugging, it's all of that outside always which is my dream I. Honestly you're you're built for this I'm built for the Pandak I don't want it to be here. Any longer. So that was the first one we hung out. So we're we hung out today we had a little pre, H-hang. Yes. I decided to make some drinks young guys how're the drinks? The revised drink was amazing to told everybody what made you so she made. This amazing. Water Spicy Watermelon Margarita and it was amazing except it was so spicy I put an entire opinion and so for anybody that doesn't follow me on Instagram what you should I do these cocktail videos every week and make sure at a cocktail I don't know how to make cocktails at all I suck at cocktail making. I. Think you're good but making for charity but you by the way you've done an awesome job they're usually actually they're always good. You're they're always good the ones you've made me when. We were in San Diego when we were doing our distance pod. There are safety pod for a couple of weeks there. It was amazing. Well, all when you made all those the one thing that you don't know how to do yet managed spice now, I I don't know how to cut up a Jalapeno that being said though for example, Shishido pepper summer spicy some aren't I mean how do you anticipate how angry pepper is going to be not jackets the pepper exactly you know it's never my fault now. Those are the spiciest drinks we all sipping out of I. Know You guys didn't want to hurt my feelings, but we're all sipping out of him. I was like check. Pass out because he is the most limited Palette never met. Spice Billy I'm not a spice guy now. Power Yeah, you're what bipolar my Like like how I look. Power Yeah. What does that have to do with what you like spicy wise because it just shows that like I'm a pale guys. That I. Give me some poile chickened. Soil chicken some you know like the. Ziti with butter. Actually. I I. Mean again, I know we just talked about this, but it needs to be brought up any time that we can talk about it. That billy got spaghetti from a sushi place. We trip over here to. Literally said I'm Never GonNa live this down dot order spaghetti ordered steak with side of Spaghetti or. Restaurant. And then honestly, I was thinking like if a restaurant ever wanted to mess with somebody that they knew like had two friends that would never let them live any anything they would always like deliver something this. Weird. Because that's what happened. Because I did not order Spaghetti you pick daily yesterday we saw you pick it Jack please the order she plays the post space and you said I'll take the noodles. Spaghetti it was well was spaghetti with Marinara sauce roads. BUTTERED SPAGHETTI buttered noodles? Spaghetti sauce. Good. Compromise. Would I probably would it at least once Those calves care. Austin. I. On next day. Pretty Sedentary. Yeah. Running a marathon. Six years. Philly doesn't move fast really like a slow snake. Liber. Billy's got pretty crazy. Top Speed I. Bet you quick because his legs. doubtful I bet you. He does. Service energy for all of its other shenanigans. My God. Okay. Enough time. I recall it. I don't have the time up right now. Probably ten minutes. Yeah. Let's cut whatever time this spe-. Oh we can lift MB.

Shannon Dave Perry Billy Billy murder Billy David Perry Shannon Billion Dave Shannon Lee Billy Zane Zane billy Monday Alexis linkletter billy Zane Shannon Social Circle Ohio rape jared Monaco Dave Garvey Jack Vanik Perry Riccardi Shannon Lico
Season 3, Episode 6  Daddy Warhol

Bad To The Dad

49:51 min | 1 year ago

Season 3, Episode 6 Daddy Warhol

"If you're the kind of dad who's wife says honey please take down? Jim Morrison Black light poster off the ceiling. Then this is the podcast for you but honey it's art. We are bad to the DAD. We are the podcast that celebrates suburban dad life along with coach Randy. My name is Adam de and we thank you the listener for sticking with us. This is our sixth episode of season. Three we are calling it. Daddy Warhol why are we calling a daddy warhol coach? Randy my friend. That's a good question has anything to do with art. Ona's everything to do with art everything to do with everything to do with art because it has everything to do with our guest. Whose name is Brian Connery. Who goes by the stage name or Gnome to art? Yes Buoy mcmorris buoy MiG bourse. He's GonNa explain it all when he comes here. He signs all of his Art Buoy. Mcpherson jazz mature. That's the name he uses when he is his art when he signs his name on the art. That's what he's going with. And we're sticking to it and that's all it is right. I think you're gonNA find him to be a very fascinating. What you find these guests. It's incredible these. Are The people in your neighborhood neighborhood? My neighborhood and your name. Oh who are the beep in your neighborhood well buoy we McPherson is. They're the people that you meet in your neighborhood when you're walking down the story. Now this is we're going to do all the lyrics can help it. It was just very reminiscent and buoy. It sounds like a sesame street. Sounds like I'm up. But he's not a he's a he's an artist and dad as a very loving DADS. So we're going to learn a little bit about the art. We're going to learn a little bit about what he does with his with his wonderful family soon. Daddy Warhol Yeah. That's what we've got going on here. Is You know what else we have what we have. We have sponsor yes. We do our good friend. She's an artiste in her own right. And all right becky. Burma Nikki Berman. Berman DOT COM. You want graphic design. She got you got it. You want website. Scott you want any kind of digital or offline marketing got it. That's Becky Berman. GotTa go there. Give a shout. Why haven't she's GonNa there before I have I have? Oh you're not talking to me and I'm talking to our listeners. Now Berman C S DOT COM amazing. And of course we have media partners happened to dot net news network. And we WanNa Thank Jessica and Danielle. We're GONNA have them as well as the CEO of tap into dot net. Somewhere down the line you go on tap into dot net you go to the drop down you look for your town and you're you're gonNA find local news. It's relevant news associates so simple. It is news for the people by the people in your neighborhood and they say now. That's going to be singing along. I in my head day long Mr snuffle up how we'll see an elephant but nobody saw him resolve except for big bird. Puzzling is very frustrating. She wonder what was going on with big bird. He's been tipping rally. It was a big bird has nothing to do with anything. We do the social media thing because I feel like you have to endure social media thing. We have instagram. Our handle is bad to the DAD. Yes we've got facebook forward slash bed to the DAD and our website is bad to the dad dot com where you can see not only pictures of US Chilin with Buoy Mabuza to update that stuff. It's a get on it man on top of the brother first of all thanks for great Great Social Media Post You do a great job with all of our we have. Our President are finished in our facebook. Keep it up. I'm not. I'm not crossing the line to tick Tock Although I think maybe the time to talk about of the dead could be the next INSTA- it could be. People have been asking us. We're going to get the mail bag back. People have been asking us. When are you going to do a facebook live at Youtube? And would you tell them? I said why why why would take off on the because you'd see as a couple of days and that's a great idea and I turn and walk away. It just takes the mystery out with like really thought. The dead was Muslim Linda. Roaming the there was this exotic place at bone died. Just two guys sitting on a green cow. We have a pet BOA constrictor hanging from a branch which way the mystery at. Yeah it was just an extra special guest your dream guest. Is Jim Breuer Bro? Yeah J. Jim- here. We'll we'll do. Video will scramble to Youtube the whole thing so speaking of questions people ask questions mazing. They can email us right. Contact us at the Dad. It's great people are actually emailed amazing. Lis- just WanNa let you know. We got to two miles to email all right. We got nothing last week but two more. Check it out so folks please contact us at Batu. That here goes. This is Kinda funny. You know this last week we had My kid there who's now no longer kid. He's an adult. He's adapted Jordan captured. Cap'n rights social. Commercial litigator MERCIA litigator. Who IS Maybe feel old says dear coach. Randy Adamjee that would be the toe. He's addressing us. Yeah this is not a question okay. but a comment and thanks. Oh all right okay. Thanks for having a professional down the show when you had Jordan Kaplan on your most recent episode right. Here's this I'm a young dead to yeah and it's good to see new dad balancing life and being successful. Hi this is a great yours in Badness Pete. I liked that I love that that exit. Absolutely thank you all I can say is. You're welcome. You're welcome. What else love free. Praise that was thanking us for having Jordan and I didn't know we had dad's it's nice to know all kinds of debt. We have MOMS to be to have some months. The moms are listening to advice to get it back to back and say you know what I heard when I heard on the. That's who was that from. Pete's all right Pete. Thank you what this next one is going to get. I don't know I don't understand the name but This next this next email is again. Hey coach Randy Andy which is to you and me you and may it says that the key chain slash bottle opener you keep talking about sounds amazing it is it is right to things opens bottles. Yes endorsed people keys. Absolutely I would open doors bottles of mines Someone's listening absolutely. How can I pick what up? Thanks BIBS NIBS I've never. I've never had never met anybody. Nibs I would need a frame. I would love them. It's not like Ned and it was spelled wrong. It could be but I really based on hymns. Yes yes well thank you. That's not an unfortunate thing. It's probably an inappropriate nickname. Lissette NABS levels would ever could be first of all. Thank you for listening. It could be it. Could BE MOM. Be Who knows. That's also true nibs. Yeah okay. Maybe it's short for something with a Lotta syllables in it. I don't want to just keep talking about this guy's name but but see here. I'm torn because we know the guys listening. Yes because he referenced. Opening the bottle hearts and minds. And that's what we say all the time absolutely. But if you've been listening to you know that if you WANNA keychain you send three dollars to to us just have to email us you as you have and how we can get it to you. Send US three bucks. We'll do a van Mo and just know that that three dollars will go to a charity. Charity let us nips. Oh I think it's your them. Yeah I think it's nips were you can call a guy wrote nibs zips. That was bill bank. Thank you to pita nibs coach. Tell me about your your week from runs dead at instant. How'd you do? Listen another Big Time it's we have four kids. Anything can happen although this week. Yeah if you call my youngest. Bree had this big toe surgery not on her. Big Big surgery was paid. The surgery is big and she calls it her pointer to- that's the second consecutive digit. Yeah and the big toe is often called the thumped by kids. Yes but I'm too and the hard part was the surgery. Was you know a week and a half ago two weeks ago now and we were told the biopsy. They took out the sell this tumor out of her toe and they send biopsies Tomar Tomer. That's very funny. I just came up with that on your own by myself. Yes That would find out the week We didn't find out within a week It was eight day nine and ten and again recalling our our guest Gregg Feick Who really went through some serious challenge with his own daughter With leukemia my Jackson. I kept freaking out because you just just tell us. Just tell us tell us. The doctor was nice listening. We went on for additional for additional test. Oh and you're like well nervous here. You're like what do you mean additional testing? Yeah Long Story Short. We found out Couple of days ago no cancer. It's just some kind of Tosic. Mass Tosa some kind of. Here's that toasted toast right so that it was benign and there is now a cancer. I was I was looking yes. So we're very excited and She's a true per she's got Some some stitches which will fall out but As a parent that was pretty that was pretty scrapes. As far as I'm concerned five. Dads for five runs. That was good. Yeah I I that lousy this week because I was traveling again. It was at a conference in. Dc The talk about the the ride home and just a bit and then I'm about to embark on another business trip doing some facilitation of Leadership Training and some strategic planning meetings which is Great. That's that's my briar patch. Happy Place but you know it keeps me away from the home and they're they're long trip so unfortunately I was away from the kids but You know when I came back from. Dc first of all. I took the ACELA faster. So it's supposed to be really sad. It's supposed to be right supposed to be now. It does get you from DC to Newark New Jersey in about two and a half hours a couple of stops. I thought I would feel the rush and the throttle of a bullet train like in Japan. Ed I'm sitting next to a buddy of mine who I took the Trivia and I find myself like a kid rocking back and forth trying to make the thing move faster as feels like a regular trains is too regular employment. But it's still got me to see the kids. Yes and with little time. I got to spend with them this week. Aden's playing the drums. He's taking drum. Lessons is getting better. We have to drum pads. I was playing some drumming with him. Drudge you're the genesis come back together other really feel college all right really. I I liked. I liked the Peter Gabriel version. I thought that was real true. Progressive Rock Phil Collins. Is the drummer due to all right? I didn't know that sorry. Okay No. That's okay sour. Note so please visit. Then you know you're talking about bree with her toe injury Superior just finished a very aggressive basketball season so she had a tough. She was diagnosed with a severe case of tendinitis in her knees. She's going to do Rehab. So we're just trying to provide as much comfort as possible and the thing. I'M GONNA MISS. His taking her to the courts to work on game because she's GonNa be. She cannot play down and out for this. So we're going to keep her spirits high with other things remember. What's the best thing you say to her? After the game and practice not from you coach. Love watching you play so. He got his watching player. So like I said. I'm about to travel again. And this is corona virus thing going around offing. It's very small getting a little scary scary and I work in healthcare. So we're talking about contingency plans. We work with nurses nurses are going into people's hands. You don't know what they're exposed to and like. This is the first time I'm going to be in an airport on an airplane. Since the corona virus became like to wear a mask I might do like the full body. Suit THE LITTLE LITTLE BUBBLE. Ram. We're the full body condom but there was an article in the New York Times about. Hey if you do have to travel by plane. Here's how to take precaution. Okay they say. Don't touch St. the trade that goes in the upright position. Bottom of the tray is disgusting. Trach it don't put your hands on the on the arm. Rest all right. Those are disgusting. Lopez don't touch the TRAE Kotecki armrest so basically the only safe place on. The plane is the overhead compartment. So I'M GONNA have to cram myself in the overhead compartment so none exposed any bill and I know you know he hands. Put THEM DOWN. Your pants. That you think is the safest place I would guarantee that would be the safest place for you and I know you're speaking from experience. I have plenty experience. Bad to the dead. We are bad to the dead. You can find us on social media at bad to the DAD. That's our INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. Ford slash bed to the DAD. That's facebook and of course our website bad to the dad dot com and remember. You can interact with us with this new fangled. Communication technology called email e mail and what is our email coach randy contact us at bad of the DAD DOT com. That's contact us at bad to the dead DOT com. And you're probably going to want to send us some comments. Maybe even some questions about our guest today. We are privileged to finally have on. Brian Connery artist and dad. Brian Great to finally have gone bad to the dead. Thank you thank you. I appreciate being here in Aka. That's booming mature Sin Buoy Bourne. I gotta I gotTa ask you about that. So you're you're name's Brian Conley and that's the name you go by. It's your birthday. Well no that's saying. He goes by my birth name brand contract. Change it. 'cause Bruce Wayne okay. I think Brian in Congress than he uses in parent teacher conferences. When he's a mad about tab yeah that's right the Buoy Mc Boursin name. Come about that. It was from when I was a baby really from when I was baby at my parents. Call Me Buoy as a baby and it was just something that a bit called all my life and then as I got older obviously people stop calling me bill. I mean it sounds like hey baby baby name but Eventually I started doing some more or a little bit of graffiti and I decided buoy had to make your own solid comeback spell buoy B. E. Y. Yeah what is worse income from There was a woman base Scotch. Irish English member mother was from Wales so Yeah we there was a woman by the name of Jerry. Uganda that my parents were friends with. And you know who else to give boom McPherson's name but a person by the name of Jerry. Ganga real name she lived in like North Arlington or like a Garfield. One of these towns locally. My parents are from you. Know my mother from New England so when you do art shows when you sign your name on art it's buoy. It used to be Brian now with billy. Oh yeah yeah I just figured it's a nice Nice Nice Monitor. You know different as I as I alluded to before a little Batman. Brian how you earn artist Yes sir. And what point L. No no no no. That's not hold on not for me to say. Just do these things and art all right now. I'd say argue after. Yeah Yeah it is what it is. It creates itself. I mean vessel when you make art though you yes. You enjoy the process of making absolutely. Yeah Yeah I have to ask you. Sometimes we do this thing called on the spot questions. I ask a question on one of our guests. Either you're going to be or if you had the opportunity to be any artist for just one day. What artist would you like to be myself? Mind your mark. Well like Peterson if you could if you could hang out with a lady artists alive or dead. You can't say alive. Yeah right who would hang out with pride Georgia O'Keefe project okay? Yeah I did not coming. Why Georgia I don't know I just love seeing her or at the moment. A few years back and Just the colors and she had similar themes that I like to celebrate my paintings like the feminine divine and things like that so evident in. Yeah ready loves. I Love Feminine. I was in Meyer your painting sake. It's like A. It's like a motherly thing. You know I got into oedipus. Rex kind of thing. No no no no. I'm GonNa say there seems of like fertility not oedipus. Rex Afraid would have a a nice thing to say if he was sitting over his bell. Yes Sierra Nevada But you know. I think that it's really celebration of fertility to celebration of Mary. Magdalene you know when I was little. We used to go to this. Church in Newark Gun called Saint It was over God. Heart Street called Saint Casimir search and I used to just stare up our work and all the stained glass and things like that then. I started reading more about Mary. Magdalene kinda getting in tune with like the feminine divine and things like that and spent some time in. Ili Probably Close to twenty years ago at this point and I paint. I saw a scene across the way in the Piazza of these. Two Lovers with the shutters drawn completely open and they were just kind of like snuggling and shit like that and they get it on. No no no. But they may have and maybe they opened the show that she'll dream out of the whatever's actually get non-party was like I'm GonNa go. I always do when I was like so. I was doing a lot of creative writing at the time fiction and stuff like that but I was like when I go back to the states. I'm going to get someone else and I'm going to paint so that'll had your your coo. Is they straight? There's a term coup you've heard of I KHUDA IS. The joy is no. It's not no Duh. Yeah yes no could. That's the moment of inspiration. That was your moment of inspiration progressive. I was like Oh. I got a painting Italy as CDs Greasy. Yeah that that was. That was pretty much it as I said. I was doing a lot of creative writing. I was living in Montclair for a few years and I was living on the third third floor of one of those beautiful mansions in Montclair was going for my international diplomacy degree of Seton Hall. You thank you thank you. Thank you and your natural relations or yeah so art is the gateway evolutional. Yeah you know. I've been lucky to spend some time overseas and things like that and it was really. I came back started writing a lot. I was reading a lot of hemingway and things like this and messed up my daughter. Yeah Yeah Diana helped me like no no doubt. It's not gonNA happen with me. Yeah I use a fan of that was doing a lot of writing and then that trip deadly was Kinda Karen. I'm wife Karen and I went to Italy and we saw that across with me. We were doing the same thing in our room anyway. Now there's funny pictures for Italy where I definitely had not close on. You know. I love the visual right now. My parents were in the seventies children. Okay they have their nudists. You know so kidding. I'm happy to say that. Long membership at the part of now. It's just kind of you know like if you feel like doing it if you're if you want to go to secure little location like a remote beach or something like that. My Dad used to do that in the islands and initiation process. Because you know I'd be open to show sausages. No personal experience has been personal experience with these skinny dipping in pools. Like in the seventies and stuff like that their friends. Alex you know I did not with a very interesting childhood so we have to do this. Right of nudist parents right. You're an artist. You're paintings this question because I notice there's some there's some pictures of some ladies bosoms. Yes picture form is yes just divine. You know it's like it's it's shapes it's like there's some cores that you see that way to like I mean it's it's it's a certain beautiful shaped like ever seen a corvette stingray. There's certain curves that are just really. Look I happen to have a mind of a of a teenage boy and I'm thinking what's it like to paint a boob? I just got home body painting. Yes we've talked talking about painting boob on the The candidates to teach me. I would of course you teach in terms of body painting painting on boobs. No I've done a lot of teaching art projects I've done among the Arts Council on the Board Arts Council at West Orange. I'm curious you brought a couple paintings over. And we're on our social media account again at bad to the DAD on instagram. And by which I give my oh yeah at McPherson that's at M. C. B. O. E. R. S. O. N. All right that mcmorris and ethnic group has given by Judge. Ganga is that. Is that your twitter instead of just the okay so you have one painting that you brought over rectangular in nature. You're very proud of. Can you tell us what years old right? Yeah it's pretty old. What's what's it called and can you tell us about the process of making that it's called birthday. F- for the wife in Sardinia Birthday for the wife and started eating. It's it's By Buoy Boom Boom Boom Persson. Yeah probably painted that in. I don't know it was probably fifteen years ago and I have about two hundred fifty hours in that painting and it was two hundred and fifty hours. Painstaking that's patient. Yeah yeah kept on going over and over and over you know. That's the secret to keep on going over stuff like Gwalior and more and more artists I've met are very critical of their work. And their lastly there never you never satisfied. Yeah there are some things I point you in that painting like. There's one character in that pain about for all the listeners out there faithful listeners of bed to dead. There's one character in that painting. It doesn't even have a hand you know it's just like a counseling stump. You know as an artist would go back. I could see it but you might not. You might not guaranteed. I would imagine there. It's right there at that from what I remember from Dali. He had a lot of Easter eggs in his paint. It also like a Caterpillar that I painted in there to put a Caterpillar Guy Peaked at a photo frame over the painting and then I put a little caterpillar in there. You know two hundred fifty hours. Yeah two hundred fifty hours oil painting and it was inspired. It's it's called birthday for the wife in Sardinia. This is It's a story of Caligula in the fall of the Roman Empire. They're pretty yeah familiar with the film From the I've seen I've seen I've seen pictures. Yes yes so. They like to stick. That thing is far up. They don't show it in appreciation class in high school powerless reason for college. I'm a big Fan of that movie. It was it was a great folks over at Penthouse magazine. Yes they somehow fifth. Yeah this is radio in our listeners. Can't see what you're doing properly. It does seem to fit. Well it's all about all about the oil. Yeah yes so you know so. It's it's basically a very decadent painting. Okay yeah and it kind of it also paralleled not only those themes but there was also a fellow You know an old Like executive I don't want to say any names but he He he threw a birthday party. I was a really big. Do Type. Thing Insert Denia and it was like in the port was inspired by the film curriculum. You Know Yeah Yeah Yeah denied yes worse than Italy yet. It's an island off the northern Italy southerly retina central part of a close closer to the northern off the off the west coast. That's This other piece. That's how you do shows right you. You've been able to show off your wares. Yeah yes I've done. I've done a lot of live paintings in front of crowds. Really all you save lives at paint. You actually paint while people were watching. Yeah in my clubs and things like that mostly in the lower east side. There's a place called the new collage That we doing the lower east side Host like every Tuesday night. Great Show we've gone You know we've had some cold or cartel which was really dove. It was at a place called the Belmont Lounge on the east side of Union Square Park. Many cartel says art cartel is about to hang out with other car Yeah yeah like my buddy My Buddies Batter Nick. 707 Scotty bags. We used to do all these come on now. Radio Scotty bags. Yeah Yo Yeah Yeah. No no no but like we. You know they've done. You know these guys do all these things over five points all these legendary graffiti places all over the world and things like that. So did you ever take any art classes? My wife a few years ago actually sent me over to The MONTCLAIR art museum. I do the live nude sketches. You have the models up there and all right hold on hold on here. We all right hold on. I just gotTa stop here. Yes so you were getting good. You were you off. I took a class artist and you had live. Not Dead Live nude models. That's eight to learn. This is studied that this has been happening for years. I understand that our class in college I not with live art new. You never took an art class with live news. No student who said his court you have drawn and there were no you had to do a male nude female equal opportunity and and allows. We'll have you know that got to be plus you gotta be nice so around so you go in there. And how much does what make is a new model model now. I wasn't doing it. I was one of the people sketching. I was just curious looking for a new part time. Job Say oh you could draw me but you know what I think you're right. Here's your yes they would love to do that. You know. Studying or in the body is humanity. It's about like different. It's about different Shapes and things like that I do something with this woman by the name of Pearl shells and she does. Yeah Jewish yeah go figure they do this nickname something called. Everybody is art which is basically. Okay we show up in the city and hosts these parades and we do body painting. And you know it's an NYPD. Think I'm in the wrong area right near Wadi Painting I? It's it's an escort raid. You know we we go round like the finger painting brushes and brushes for figures. Of course of course see you gotta get ready. Your your copy of been around registered. You're acting like the college kid who in order to graduate has to take an art course knows nothing about art comes in this way. Our point like crazy. Meanwhile everybody's like years artists like me were trying to get a B. Plus dry class and I would get the Kim sprite tape and bananas to wall before that would have been performed. W When I was in college some idiot would do an exhibit. Any would lean a car door from an old chevy up against the blue rectangle. Well up boom. What do we call that? The opening really okay taught that one works on white background like a Red Dot Com. And they're asking for ten thousand dollars for that piece art. That's not two hundred fifty man hours right there. That's not no that's actually a really point. That's one of the reasons that I actually really started doing it. You know doing these paintings and things like that because I saw some of that like. What's called like abstract minimalism? Is things like you're talking about. Like I feel like we could do better than that I really do I. I've gotten over that a long time ago. Now I can look at that and say hey that is kind of neat you know like I. Don't you know but I have a certain respect for that now. That have been through what I've been through on my journey and stuff and but back then I was like a no better than this. You know like you know like I know like if you value design and things like that I mean when it kept when cookbook your inspiration lead to say I wanNA paint something. I want to draw something. How do you decide what do you? Where does it come from it? Just it must come for my self conscious. You know I after I did that. One painting in Italy really into like art and drawing and doing my own characters you know I never wanted to work for like one of the Big Lake comic book companies or crazy and just kinda create like Mickey Mouse like fifty times a week. Vitamin Fifty Times a week. I was always there was always fulfillment in it for me to create like cartoon type characters. Yeah yeah he had what was his name was on the show last season who has a comic bookstore over much. Jeff Beck Jeff Nice. Have you met Jeff? I don't think I have being you know what should off the beginning of the show. Many of the show. Lotta DADS have interest in. You know maybe another has a vehicle that can that can help them in the Jeff Beck busy guy because We'd like to connect people. Do you have like a? Do you have an idea of comic hero? let's paint. Yeah yeah and I kind of always does determine that oil painting was going to be my primary. If there's like a Canon of my work that was going to be my primary work. I do Chiloe to sketching a lot of that. Come up with ideas. What do you do you you know? He's Pencil Dirt Shit Anything Really Really L. Listen I don't see some chimpanzees. Put them in front of Kansas. Who might earliest story was I was? I was like two or three years old and I was in my my parents. Dining Room And I was a baby obviously to to. You're taking a shit in my diaper and like rubbing all over my parents. Dining room wall fantastic. Yes you're apart. I have to have people know that both all right to a big little mustache. Take a certain Phillips. GotTa get that out. Voting appreciate it especially especially just over the Internet got it got to know your audience out develop now do you You know with going back to the paintings. Do Sell Them. Do you want to sell them? Or if you're a seldom you know it's kind of. It's a bit of both. Yeah every time I pay when I fall in love with it and you know every every time I sell it. Basically Fall in love with the person who's bought it you know that's basically kind of how that works like it's you could create something out of your own imagination And have somebody pay money for that. I mean that's kind of the ultimate. That'S THE AMERICAN DREAM. That's it. That's a good deal. That's that's figuring how to price something. It's always challenging the especially when you're first starting out and then you get a feel for what the market is what other paintings are selling for whoever you meet. How'd you connect with them? You know you you negotiate with them. What is this you know? There's obviously certain pieces that weren't in certain amount at the bottom level based on an hourly rate now. No it's not. It's not really that way you know it's kind of like I've been doing this for so many what you know. What does this look like? Compared to what else is out there and things like that you know because sometimes you can. I eighty percent of painting. I could pay within two hours. The last twenty percent which is probably the most important might take three or four years to actually fucking do you now. Steve. Yeah Yeah. Yeah but that's like a la cream. My coffee absolutely got plenty. Sure absolutely so. Randy is serving you in doing German if somebody wants to visit your on instagram account. But they WANNA to get in touch with you. Because they're they just got to have your art they just gotTa have the payment thing that you you slaved and toiled over. How can they get in contact with to sit a bonfire on top of the mountain? I look fires. We'll show. We need a skull fires at margin next at our next and our first bent to the dead now. I think we're going to have a fight. We're going to have buoy like do the opening segue but it's going to be starting to be a live pain and they'll be bonfires it's gotTa be. It's gotTA PEOPLE MAY LOSE LIMBS. It's gotta be like a ritualistic thing to try to touch with me. It's like the bat signal. Yeah you gotTa make a fucking bonfires absolutely on fire by Puerto Time show up a beer note mealtime like now no time bad to the dead guests and I have say you'd agree and other we have not had a guest. Nothing like oh absolutely. We're very proud of what we do. Because we talked about DAD's. Yeah here's Your Dad. Yes right and tell us about your roles. Dad Kids Yeah. I Have Two Children Dad who has ended a kid or kids for yes. That's the best part of my life with my wife Karen and my daughter Violet and my son Liam Yeah Two. How old are they? My Son Liam is eleven. My girl is eight released and so What are some things you like to do with your kids for my son? I've been coaching soccer for the past. Three senators. That coaches soccer. Yeah and I never played it as a kid be regulated as sucked at all the sports. Absolutely you all the soccer dude fucking yes yes however yes you know. I started coaching with a close friend. Gary Shaffer out enough yet. And he's an amazing coach. Gary on at some talked about it. He's he's really inspiration. He's funny guy so we're partners On the field the soccer I never really played as a kid. Watch my son play play in price since he's three and I've seen him grow as a soccer player. Yeah and you know what these kids? You know it's really. I've had some really great coaching experiences. Like when kid made a mistake last year he was really small guy on the team made a mistake. Came back crying. I was like. Don't worry about it got this. You got this. Yeah don't worry about. It stiffened up. You know tough you know and you know it was like. I just really want. Because it was a bad mistake he knew it is a really close game you now. It is coach absolutely. Don't I just wanted to make sure the decade wasn't broken? Because of that. I think he does. Just you know how it is. How it is and that was probably doing it for three years. That was pretty major lever. Violet she does a lot of Song. Dance type things in the art world. Oh Yeah Yeah. Yeah yeah she does fashion shows of me and stuff like kidding. Yeah we display We display our work at fashion shows. And she okay dancers she do. She's done like plays. She's done like some Disney type plays. And what's your favorite Princess Hers Probably Bell or Virgin Okay. L. Doesn't look frozen. I watched the second one you know. It was sort of like fletch. Lives it didn't he. Dad Oh is much to had Zika Virus. We got the bucket probably. GonNa it keeps up. That's so Liam I love your full disclosure so eating my son and Liam Spring track together off great travel recreational program here in the beautiful town of West Orange and I turn off the radio and I listened to conversations. Yes I started out. Fortnight was popular. So they're talking about the dances and the music and making the faces to one another and now it's just like lines and jokes that all inside jokes and eleven year olds are good. Like that. Edison's what you're talking about. Sixth graders so a lot of fun with the conferees slash mature your head. Track and field there are they. Both I mean are your kids into art. They know what you do. So yeah we here's when they were born the best way to do it was like okay. Calm making the art like this of the nude lovers cross the way in the Piazza in Italy. So it's like how do I keep this engaged? Keep it keep the integrity and art like this and keep creating this storyline that I've read these characters and have children. Here's what I was doing. I was like when my son was born. I would just get him set up on an EASEL. I said hit set him on up with painting no wants. He's off doing his painting. I'm like all right can start doing smoke now. I've ever owned so many clothes. Furniture is Laura's. Oh Yeah Yeah car. Do there was in my old car. There's a bucket of paint that basically don't completely for its Waco and it was red paint. Oh you know yeah you know. It was shrugged off. Yeah yeah it's Karen really cool with the art. Yeah you know she's definitely one of the biggest inspirations by can. She's definitely an inspiration for the character that I pay to Inter. Absolutely if she does she knows now she says I would hope so. You know but it's it's it's you know. It's also a celebration of fertility thing and things like that but she's very supportive and really kind of brought like a really lot of wonderful things into my life and things like that and I don't know where the fuck without her mel. Hey we're all to speak of our lives in Harlem so one of the things we we have dad's in here you some stories about Liam and it'd be a dad and your art is we like to. We like to have our Dads of what we call Dad Vice. Yeah where it's like advice for Dad. Yeah so We get about seven downloads. A week awesome so we get we get a nice number of DADS. Were listening in. What kind of DAD vice do you have for? Dads who are out there listening that from your perspective your your leads of the life that you like to offer our dads would I really would recommend is understanding what your children value. Okay for example. My son values Spending spending time with me on Friday nights and Saturday nights playing video games at called video games all night long. And that's like sacred ground. You Know I. I consider art to be my religion but that stuff with him. That's like sacred ground. Those are the best times yet just buying candy and my daughter's obviously involved to buying candy and just Kinda staying up all night you know staying up on long. I mean I'm usually never meet again older in age. I'm usually the first one asleep. That game chairs now John. Sit on the floor yeah. It's kind of like a house of Gypsies a little bit. You know what's your game? Would you guys play I? My son plays a game called Apex Legends and Fortnight's Yup a fortnight yet dude. I'm really into this game. Called for Chri. This series called the fourth version. Right Fifth Yeah Forget. It's a first person shooter. It is but like this. The interesting thing about my most recent game is that they've made the enemies really docile and they're Kinda cool so it's like I don't really want to find these guys I kinda like Doomsday game. And a nuclear war happens at the end of the game anyway so fighting these guys. Nuclear War happen by a very sick hunting and fishing game. It's like a cult of. You're kind of going together go. We've always done. He's he's better than me at these games. I'll be able to first of all these little diesel got sixty different things you can do. At one time. I grabbed. We were growing up. It was just fun though. Seven wasn't just as fun back then. I don't know I think it was but now it's the the the graphics are we know that these grades no Yeah I played but we do a lot of the sports games so I was GONNA ask you as a soccer coach. Play Feta because that's one of the Games in the now. I've heard that's awesome to learn the game. Oh yeah most. Worst Games med. Double Dribble back in the day. W Dibble came. Take that shot in the corner all the far corner. You never go out of bounds. That's right yeah it's stuff Bryan Conferee Buoy McClure sin. I'm not please go to our social media pages. All the bad to the DAD's social media pages you'll see some of Bryan's artwork and of course again. Give us your instagram handle. That's at instagram. It's at Mc Boursin that's M. C. B. O. E. R. S. O. N. ADMONITION. What a great time. Yeah thank you so much for. Dui. Thanks for being you so much for joining us in the day. This is truly appreciate it. I hope I've inspired a couple of DAD's today. I have no doubt inspired. That's one yeah on many different levels we are. We are bad to the Dad del Modus. Wherever you find podcasts. We are bad to the dad with coach. Really and Adam de what a thank our guests. Brian also note as buoy. Mcclure say we love Bush. He's like our new brother now. Bowie the brother to keychain guests. You don't give it gets like that. One man remember the key chain opens doors opens bottles which we did a few tonight silly and opens hearts and minds and it might open a few art galleries to a couple of what a what a great cast. The old out of d you know find interesting people and sometimes they find you. What a sweetheart of a guy. Yeah Great Guy Okay and I wish the listeners could be here to see the art here into the Arctic. They would even believe it. If they could see that was asking questions. I mean there's there's bosoms there are there other pictures of Va. Jj but how many how many old pieces of art or how? Many of the most famous pieces of art cures to that. What it was like to draw think and I didn't know that you and you're you're the five year old. Dad took the art gallery. And Say I want to introduce you to art? And all you see is nipple. Data's trying to exceed education and beyond the playboy party. Now it was he was. He was an artist. He is that guy and creative writer two or a little bit about some of the creative writing that he does. After the Mike's went off we were just Hanging out and shooting the you know. What a fantastic start buoy in. But we thanks. So much of bully booster BOURSIN BOOM MIC bourse. Billy matures again. Abortion is the at McClure sin. Is the Graham handle coach? I gotTa tell you. People are starting to notice us. The okay slept me over some of the stuff that we went through we had. We didn't have occurred. Had some beer. So yeah I think that you know you looking at at paintings of a boobs. Boom is is really. What's giving you the giggles right with the alcohol? No no did have some giggles because I was curious to know what it's like to boobs and I don't think I was satisfied with the response. No you didn't get your question. I get it but I understand from artists. Now we're hoping for something a little bit more adolescent. Yeah so he was coming at it like a his own. That is what he should be. So when I was about to say is people are starting to take notice. Yeah you showed me some data on the number of downs amazing. We've crossed the twelve thousand download seven hundred a week. So we're real now. I'm not saying this to blow smoke and I think sometimes when you feel the curtain behind who Marley's absolutely it'll help you sleep well at does does it keeps the vampires. Okay you have that problem in your neighborhood. Well sometimes you never know so coach. A lot of people have been asking us. They've been reaching saying. Hey I'm thinking about doing a podcast or something like that. Can you walk me through? What you're an expert podcast hard. That's the funny thing is that we've only been at this for a little weather year. Yes so now. You're the expert. Yeah we're about forty four episodes episodes but a little over a year but I think we are inspiring people this love that. I think they see that. Hey you know these guys are doing it. I don't allow Spurs like those clouds could do. I could easily do it but thinking about where we started the end of January of two thousand nine hundred eighty back again God fifty three weeks ago and those you know the next few weeks we were just trying to build. Are we know we were begging people? We didn't have the data we didn't have bone Daddy. We know what we didn't have keychains. No we didn't do not have keychains. I think we turned. The tipping point was keychain years during the key I think that was the tipping the magic moment for us. People love the kitchen guest of the kitchen. It's like a special medallion in a special. They know it serves multiple purposes. It holds keys. Ed opens bottles opens bottles and has bone Daddy. It has to be the most brilliant graphic design I ever forget about. Yes bone died after that talked about. Let's talk about yes you do. Yes you do like boobs which Indra trying to take us out here because he dropped a few ball he. He's a real a real guy that was. That was good with that. You know what I mean. He was just using the same language. You kids around the dinner tears. That's all yes so algebris. Okay we are bad to the DAD. Dads have a great week.

DAD Italy Randy boom McPherson facebook US Karen soccer Brian Connery Youtube Adam de Brian Bree Burma Daddy Warhol Ed Magdalene Becky Berman
340: Own and Launch Your Truth Online with Destinee Berman

Earn Your Happy

51:55 min | 2 years ago

340: Own and Launch Your Truth Online with Destinee Berman

"You want to price it at one zero t h cares. That's not ninety seven ninety five. It's you if there is a good enough reason for that in best who you are to just really not be afraid of being yourself in business life, and to really stand up and really show up for that. Welcome to the earn. Your happy podcast. I'm Laurie harder founder of the blest project. Three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie lifestyle entrepreneur and author each week. I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life business and relationships we don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us. We're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn own and on apologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for. Joining me another week. I am so beyond grateful for all of your shares all of your stories and just coming back in listening to all of these incredible humans that I get to have conversations with you know, when I started this podcast. I really really not only wanted to be able to connect with these incredible people offering so much value. But I wanted to have conversations that I knew were shifting my life. And I wanted to be able to share what was impacting me, so truly I don't even ever. I don't ever feel like I'm the person like giving you all of this information or teaching you. I feel like we are constantly learning side by side. So all of my Aw moments. I'm praying that you're having the same moments or in a different way. Or you're finding yourself in the. Story in the journey because I really believe this podcast is just sharing the journey. And I know that when people have done that for me that that truly has been how I have learned. So I'm thrilled to share today's guest with you. And that is miss destiny Berman and she's been called the strategist in secret visionary behind today's most widely recognized online schools in the holistic coaching and mindfulness space after fifteen years in Silicon Valley managing clients like Twitter HP, and Microsoft, she left in two thousand fourteen to follow her calling today. She's the digital marketer and launch manager for multiple six and seven figure online education platforms successes that have touched the lives of millions of women world wide. And you guys I'm so thrilled to have her on because I actually got to spend a year masterminding with her and the wisdom that she brought into the room in whenever she would talk about really getting your message out there. She truly works. With a lot of health, and spiritual coaches and really helps them not only get out into the world and to really help support themselves financially, but she helps own the message, and I really find that. That is where the disconnect is it's not it's truly not ever about. I don't know how to make money. It's like, I don't know how to truly own this. So that I feel solid in what I'm doing in sharing. Because when we feel solid in our message everything can come together, and she truly gives it really beautiful strategy in everything that she does. So if you guys are ready for some strategy. This is going to be your girl, but the conversation is so much more than that. It's about owning your truth and adding that in incorporating it into what you want to do. So let's get started. Destiny. I'm so excited to have you on the show today? Thank you for joining me. I'm so happy to be here. Laurie. I feel like such a great connection, and I'm just thrilled to be here. Okay. So they're like a million things. I wanna talk to you about because destiny, and I got to spend like the last year in a mastermind together. And I'm always extremely drawn to you. Because of number one what you have to say. But you also have this like I'm sure you've heard this before. But you have this very Wyatt. Power about you. And something that I love like this is so important for people to hear you can show up in a room, and you can be felt, and you can be seen without having to, you know, be loud or be the most outgoing person in the room or b the person who has to say everything that they're doing which both are great. But I know for me, it's always power powerful for me from. Former shy person to see someone who can show up powerfully without saying anything. So that's you for me. So I'm always like, I don't know. I just always loved that example. So have you known that about yourself kind of a healing? That's been that's been evolving for me end part of the Mitch process has been comfortable with that. Because there's a part of need where I want to be, you know, more loud, more expressive, right? Always been like lifelong Hamid myself throw one express how comfortable in might spread Suma. And I never would have guessed that you are shy. Thumbs afraid that you said that as you were speaking of the getting goosebumps enough usually assigned that I'm this being really connected right now that I'm disrobing see by. Yes. So I guess the answer is guests now are kind of belted a kind of known expressing myself as always been ongoing journey. I think for me too. It was it's a powerful recognition for me to the U because it's acknowledgement that I don't have to there's a belief sometimes that I have to speak up in show up in make my rounds in the room in order to be seen in foul in that's not necessarily true. So ex premiering that back to me. That's amazing. So destiny, I would love for you to share kind of your background on what you do. But but what got you there? So let's see the universe short away. Now. It's like how long do you want? Do you want to take the whole hour on this or? I San Francisco, and so I've been a digital marketer for what when a years now, my gosh also makes me feel old. No, you started when you were like three it's fine. What? And fifteen of those years, I spent working at tech companies all all appearances, go out been driving campaigns or with Brown's like Twitter like Microsoft. I like share that launched the for a beauty insider, they're all in campaign before the world it up. This is back in two thousand eight. So it's been a long time being in a space. I love I love tech. I love how fasting smooth. I love half assing debate. And yet kind of along the same the red in the last fifteen years, I've immersed myself in a lot of transformational work in a lot of healing work in. I can go pretty will. Can go traditional therapy and whatnot in done a lot of outward has in so four or two four and a half years ago. I left who wanted to do something for myself. And essentially what unfolded was I found myself helping a lot of strong leaders and yoga teachers healers transformation on teachers launched on education platforms and really making that assessable from people really helping them Rowan prosper, both an impact. But also with Inc. So there's a couple of things that you say that I was just reading in your bio, and I obviously was like binging on your social media as well, which was super fun, by the way, you're like so mazing with your social media because you really come through. So if you don't if you guys don't already follow her go follow her right now. And you had said nor you want to normalize. Woo. And I love that. Because number one, I think the word can even get it's it's like in the beginning. I didn't even know what to call. What to say about what I wanted to do. Because what I was doing in the beginning. This is such a great conversation because I lived it. You know, I came from the fitness background. And then I dove into self development in couldn't white share. How to get a transformation for P all without sharing like the Wu or what I believed or God or spirit or source or Buddha in whatever people believe like, I couldn't share it without. A bigger truce like without a bigger conversation in in the beginning. This was super tough for me. Because number one not a lot of people were talking about it. Number two. I didn't feel like people were necessarily ready for it yet. I wasn't sure how to start talking about it. So I know that that something new kind of specialize in is helping like health coaches in spiritual practitioners like really get their message out there and get paid for what they're doing because it's also struggled for people to get paid. So what did you start finding in? This is that an area that you liked to work in his that. I'm love it become it's that I'm immersed in every day. So I have my team might have actually on my team of spiritual either that I worked with on a weekly basis. I have my astrologers sulks on several times throughout the year. So I feel like I've been immersed in it in I live, but also just hiding under the world is right. Right. So we've got the growth of online space, and I would say in the last five years things are released flooded with on education Suming content. We'll hole in than we have the growth in the mainstream of yoga in the last eight years we have meditation following the heels of at now everyone's do yoga meditation is pretty much in while in reasonable received affected in. So I feel like what's coming on the heels of of meditation is really a lot of the crystals in accepting that there could be other dimensions of ourselves and more esoteric healing work. That's invisible. It we feel tap into. And I feel like all of this is coming because the rod awesome needs it. I there's a lot on the world right now. It's really intense a lot of changes happening technology big growth of people using and consuming only content and just that the world is ready. I. So what are you finding are the main blocks for number one? I want to know who your main people are that you like to help out. And then what are the the main blocks to them getting themselves out there really living into their purpose? Yes. And that's a great question. So I love working with really healers in holistic practitioners of. So they could be teaching people with Christos. Iraqi are astrology I love astrology. So that's a no brainer. For me, yoga, teachers, I have worked with relationship transformational, by coaches and really the biggest watts two-fold. We've got the folks who've been doing healing work in life coaching for longtime, and they don't know what to do with internet revolution. And they're so overrun I tack the zone awarded start. And then we have the other groups who are a lot more comfortable with technology. And yet they don't have no out in terms of what a marketing campaign is remote. Strategy rain like what it really takes his hand out intrinsic engaging just really nurtured with your community as we've got the shoe to ranges of perspective, and it's all around while. How can I strip this down? So I can get comfortable with -nology because while we're all living a very digital age Annan. The other perspective is how can I really approaches with wisdom immaturity? And really lead rowing community ambling in the deaths to something evenly social. So for people who are like what what are their main blocks? The people that you're helping out won't be five technology. Also, just receiving an understanding that you can make a lot of money teaching or teaching strategy or salts like there is there is a lock on. There's a lot between owning your healing abilities and really making it into a prosperous. In typically, that's like rooted in something in their core beliefs or something in their past or something is into you know, that's that interesting. But you're a Matthew map because I feel like will part of it is coach for under something in the paradigm of healing distance that you know, if we just look back even tentative two years ago. Get on your hospice someone shows up. They they put cash down for that cloth. There's a simplicity to the industry that I think I've Ivan exactly caught up in has enough off across more mainstream though, I think just with the healing work. What I find is that so some vicious lineage in terms of what's been known some of it is industry in some of it is just really being woman did a gone being marketed. And there's a lot bias round us just being a modern marketer needs. And is that even in integrity with my work. So how do you how do you shift that like what have you what we're have you done and you've been in it for so long? So might you know to you, it feels like, you know, eating breakfast. Like, you don't question it. You're like this is what we do. But for other people who are just getting into it like how how did you normalize it like make marketing for healing? Like, how do you make it right in your brain like that? It's important at it's not just right? But it's important for them to make money on it. Yes. So to phone I would say four years ago, I had to do a lot more heavy lifting. So in afraid south who we were launching a mystery school in relaunching astrology school in whatnot in at that time even for years ago. I thought like what we were trying to do is so big and so passed, and so it took a lot of one on one heavy lifting and my clients joke that I'm a launched midwife, but also air. And so it's a lot of. Okay. Let's just hold this webinar. Let's see what happens is do a pilot launch as Guinea launch a quick and dirty launch. And see what happens and the Sonal beginning was a lot of experiment. But now, you know, sixty five launches later, there's enough proof at least in some circles to see, oh, this is possible in the people that they've been following for a long time. They're doing this. Right. So now it's getting a little bit easier. Now with my students decide Milan calling school. We of course, you know, we're moving through the mindset shift of okay. Can I really hate on, you know, walking through these four stats holding my first webinars tonight, I really get past being visible and still feeling safe outright. And off the do I really have to what level of transparency invulnerability. Do I really have to expose myself on social media on on all digital channels in order for this war? And so. Is really finding the right medium. And also why I've invented the skinny launch is really to have half Hafthoz hit the first steps like what is it gonna take for you to have I on bench. And can you really get path initiation that earth unless you do it doesn't feel so air. Right. And so it's all around taking that first step. It sounds simple. But it's so are fun in. I feel time and time again. Oh my God. That couldn't be more true. Like, just taking you. You don't get. There is no clarity without taking that first action. Like, so I always know what I'm sitting for too long or I'm starting to feel bad or even more confused. I'm like, okay. Do something to get some clarity. So it sounds like that's what so skinny launch his base for people who are like really like they don't they've never been out there before but they need to start taking action. They might want like some hand holding a long way. Absolutely. Or if they just want a modern marketing. Roach, shoe filmed or live ridge fates, filling a workshop low tech, you can do this with minimal budgets any follow the floor stats and allied to say that my plants who've been very successful growing is seven or multiple summit. Feeder businesses started with skinny launching and thirty five people on the next font cheap brawling in. It's it's a matter repeatable launches a rowing each time in that's really best. Really there. You know is not trying to go for that mass launch. You don't have to pressure on yourself first time in even with folks that I worked with who had relied audiences. Sure there was big on. But it's bigger now. Yes. All africa. So important to hear that because it can be especially, you know, in in this fast growing world of lake connection and masterminding in all of these powerful tools that are out there. It is so easy to be like, oh, we'll Fanta I launch and it was huge like in compare yourself. But launches are like, oh my God. You you have to just get out there. And even understand them in your feedback is going to be so different from someone else's feedback in the growth rate in. I mean, do you find sometimes people have to go backward as well? Hopefully, absolutely. And there is there isn't a five minute in China pusher, soft to go so big. But absolutely sometimes you just have to rework offer an island say that with my one on one ci- we've done well insurance the bird for, you know, most of the time honestly exceptions were always moving forward on Gan were managing the Zimmer. Not trying to do this this crazy zero to one hundred I'm in the beginning. And so from that perspective. We get to manage how how steadily growing in terms of going backwards. I do see that in. It's usually comes with a pivoting. Offer a pivoting of the message forbidding of the brand. That's simply when I see the going backwards, generally. I find that Hebrew paying attention and staying tuned launched by launch your growing in the direction that you. Yes, I love that. You said that 'cause I've definitely had points in my life, where I'm like, I can't even know things can be going. Well, if it's if it starts to on in probably with the type of people you work with like were a little more in tune with listening to the path that we're supposed to be on. So that can require a lot of pivots. And what's wrong? It's hard to let go of the money that you're making on something, even if it is soul sucking. So what? What used to people who are like? Wow. You know, I'm I'm about to make a big pivot to kind of bring him back to the skinny launching. Or do you do you know what I'm saying to bring them all the way back or do you just what you do? That's a good question. Enough gone through this transition probably half at times in my life in an also with clients. There's usually I find it individually. So again back the besides of the launches of been doing so out on the decks not inducted direction. And we do our birthing skinny launching in the new direction. So you're giving up some revenue and some profit, but you don't have to go to zero on that ground either use user to make a rich racy start to bridge. What was old to what is new and Easter to bring people over and Embiid team of three examples in particular? We've made the transition end for the most part is gone really well against fitted give up some revenue, but it wasn't too bad as Ozzie he made the connecting points. And I guess in strove logical speak right in your rebirth, the food typically showing up at that time in so if you know how to manage that. No, it can be graceful process. Even if it's intense. So how would you how do you manage that? When somebody is. 'cause I'm guessing you're kind of training how to manage that as well. It sounds like potentially. How do you help somebody manage that transition of it's like an identity shift in your life, and it's showing in your business, and sometimes we can attach ourselves to the numbers of like, oh my God. Maybe this identity shift isn't right because it's not paying me the same like, how do you work through that yet salon? One comes from inner end this word I having daily meditation practice having daily crackers Richie clear Nanan comeback to treat. I have a daily practice. I've got a regular job of practice. And that is ultimately what will you have to come back to his clear landing? So that's one into once from that space, if you know, but having to downsize or new give up some revenue is your path. What would it forces? Is this whole to your point in identity crisis, though, the more will you are to let the all away and have a plan in place for the next any launch the new product. And of you start making that bridge where you're building up appetite in a wear nece for the new offer that we're now pivoting to that's going to help because you got something on the outer that's gonna round in the you have an inner clearing that you need to stay true to its you'll have up and down days. Even when I made the transition when I left my job, I gave a lot of money and for me to go from essentially zero to negative Friday because I was launched my business that was a big that was a big job in. So there are some upper nowadays. But ultimately, it's clear, you know, that's repacked in new eight need a whole plan. Does even a couple of just a key. Just keep moving that fibrous long. That's been out. Okay. So I'm loving this conversation because I think it's going to give permission to a lot of people. And I want to ask the question of like managing your audience in your audience. Could also be like your family, your your environment like as you shift into a new identity in your life in obviously, you wanna start implementing that new identity into your business. Kind of what you're doing in pivoting your offer. What are some of the things that come with that like managing, basically, I guess what I'm asking is like. Managing people not identifying with you as this new person. That's a that's a really deep question because for someone like myself in this is also where I draw from the system of a strategy for myself. I tend to go inward, and so I've created a space when I left I had he's actually temporarily break away from the communities that I was just it. Go inward and reset myself agree. I had to let go of lesser contact with my parents, because I frankly Clinton handle, you know, any feeling of sensitivity in questions because I was on process. I think bad the willingness in my experience end is for what I witnessed. You'll let go a summit road relationships in that transitions because of your being surrounded by a external world, whether seeing you in a particular way, it's hard to me create a new a new world Newby. All my gosh. That was so articulate like that was. Yeah. That was really beautiful because every time I've had to go through a change. I kind of like feel like you're going inward like you are in the cocoon. And if the cocoon gets disrupted like you could disrupt whatever new wings, you're trying to grow in. It is a super sensitive time in honoring it is. So important. Do you have anything that you do to kind of honor that I know you said you go inward? But is there any pulling in grace or prayer, or what do you what do you do with that? Why in addition to the medication practice in leading my husband, no, worm at the s I you know, I I've had to be really clear with him in let him know how sensitive space than I am because he someone that's getting married to change. Right. So I would draw from him. Like, I have like I have done with other than example. So that one into Aleve or not it isn't sound fun. But I had to bump up. My therapy. Sessions will vary d shadow work, very deep work on. What's honest. What's truth from me on night services, e need through many transformations in many reinventions on over time into also to not be afraid to bring a new teachers? I went through a period when I was a mom where I had to let go of teachers I've worked with for a long time to have space bring me once in a while. So clearly, I'm just on therapy session with you right now. But I think that this is such an important thing to hear because if you're doing it, right? You are probably undergoing a lot of different identity shifts through your life. And I don't think that people ever talk about them because I think that from the past in let me know, if you you've had a similar story, or I know this isn't everyone's story. But is that a solid person is someone who is like really consistent or sticks with something. Or that you you will know is always going to show up in a certain way. And that's like someone that has character in that somebody who you can count on. And I think that if we're were really kind of following our path that won't be true. Like you can count on them. But it might be in many different. Like, you know, maybe you're not consistent. Maybe you don't you can't be that person for everyone. So like detaching from being everything to everyone, you know, or be. Being something for everyone. So true. And I could not agree more. I believe if you're really living out your life purpose in half a year. Just always evolving in the ricin. You are now we're willing to go off Wei could be completely different from three years ago in our community in sometimes with my phone friendships, and there are some friends in a will evolve with you, and but I believe in the path of ongoing involved it and that identity on outside could look drastically different. Exactly as you're saying is think it's so powerful to hear it from, you know, women who are really out there doing a lot of work, especially in this field of business. So I have a question for you that I'm super curious about. So you work with a lot of more like for lack of a better term like moral life coaching not like business. You know, like they're selling business coaching, correct? Okay. So there's kind of this idea out there in. You know, some be for some people they hear it more than others. But it's is that you're not going to be able to make as much money in launches or as much money in general, if you are doing life coaching versus business coaching because business they can, you know, they're they're thinking that they're going to make their money back technically, how do you feel about that? Have you heard that? What do you think I'm different heard that many many times, and I agree with it? Maybe seventy eighty percent in one hand is true that is easier for somebody. Check the ROI of investing fifteen thousand in chuckling return back on the other hand, I think that I know transformational persona transformation. The healings base is growing in that over time. It will catch up because one of the heart of exercises to do is you really be able to translate how almond inner work is now going to be outed change for your free to lead their relationship for you to get next promotion. So. Oh, yes. On one hand is not as straightforward is trying to for you to calculate the ROI MI mind appliance, you Bevery well, could they do better. They were business coaching perhaps. But it wouldn't be there. So's calling almost like it's not really a choice. The now if my soul's calling is a to teach Chris oils or to work with people in yoga than how do I really optimize his and make this so fruitful and enriching for both mind people in myself. So I feel it when it's not really an option into a mean, I know the size of my client launches hand. They do very. Just for example, do you mind sharing like you do seven-figure launches right or you have four ahead? You have multiple citizen, which is huge. So you guys a few. If that was if that was a story, you were telling yourself, you can just toss it out the window 'cause. Can I have many many emissions a many? But there are enough proof of launches in the mid high figurines, you know, within the healing safe that I feel now it's you know, it's reality hitting the six year. Mark is is not really too difficult, in my opinion hitting hundred two hundred thousand you know, that extra -able with a right in the mid to high. It's like, you know done. Well, and I think it's important. I just wanna I wanna add in here. Just because we're talking numbers. Like, I think it's important for people to know, obviously, when you're doing launches there's typically a very large investment in order to advertise in order to really learn or in order to, you know, maybe pay your JV's or different things like that or in. That's people who are helping you with sharing your launch. But I just yeah. I just want to throw that in because I used to think before all of this stuff. I was like, oh, they're just making that much money. I wasn't thinking like, oh, this was a huge investment in Facebook ads or having somebody to help them out. But the power of having somebody help you out is immense. Like, what have you found when people come to because I'm sure they've been doing their own launches for awhile is one of the biggest things that you kind of clear up for them or save money for them on or amplify. The biggest thing is keeping on track and focused on the shooter three pillars of launch strategy. This is a big shot side of online as you see what else is doing. You get an Email. You see that interview in their topping some new strategy. And then you end up wanting to ten different things. Not even fruitful focus on Twitter three things. Expand those June agree strategies added the next one by swear did not have to add in one recite mention one more Email about this up bump at of a make all these changes just drives that were race in the focus on your or message. He can't focus on tuning in to what people are asking a wanting. I can't tell you. How many times I've done that to my team? It's awful awful. Her to avoid and just having that second percent Niro to you and say, no, you really don't have to do that. I I find myself saying no more than gas many, many times might is just because you want to do everything in its, you know, it's not worth the ROI exactly in. It's well, it's it's why I think you need help during its why the idea maker in why the the coach or the forefront person needs to make sure if they do not think linear or strategically for the most part like you have got to get somebody to keep you grounded. Or it's going to be this. You're gonna be nothing's gonna land for your people. They're gonna feel all over the place. Just like you do like if you feel all over the place during launch people do too. Oh. I try to remember because I'm like, oh, this isn't good like somebody gave me back on track. So I think it's like also just hyper awareness like that. And I love that you are that voice or so many people to be like real back in sister. Like, we're working. We're right here right now. So, but I want to also talk about life during what you're doing right now for for maybe people who don't have, you know, in an online business that they want to the any form of business that they have like how do you manage everything because this is a lot? And you you work under stakes that are like these are these are people's businesses launches can be really intense like how do you manage everything with your family in your? But you can question, and I am still discovering uncovering the answer every day. I hear ya. I, you know, I go back to my daily practices that keep destroying clear. My husband, and I have to sing constant in communication. I mean, we we just really have to keep an open dialogue. I've got. No. I I invested a lot in my career. He has a big career. And then where parents McCotter, Liz name Emrah high energy when not stop jumping in running around. I spend my off hours shaking get around. And then it's like, wow. For me. It's about coming back to what I want. And I remember having this reflection in his inquiry many years ago before I chose to the mall in ultima only what I want is to be a whole integrated being that's really living my full life in. So I enjoy my lifestyle. I also want to be a really conscious mom in conscious. Parents. I also want to be juicy mom in a really awake a wife from for in. So I have to ultimately come back. This is what I want and I wanna thriving business. And it sounds like I want so much and at the same time, I feel like these are all true parts of myself in office, uncovering Coignon and were want to be in. So every day I have way way myself against how much did I spend working how much time did I spent connecting said how much did I spend being a mom and do my best way. So that it feels reasonably balanced every day in the. We've community that friends and play dates and so it's an ongoing struggle. I don't know if I have is one straight answer. But I know that when I come back to the deepest deepest want which is a whole integrated woman. That's what keeps track. So how do you set up your days to do that like when you so when you're looking at your life is all of the things that you just said that you want which by the way, I want all of those things. And I think it's so great to hear you say that do you set it up in terms of weeks? Like, do you plan in do set it up in terms of months like how much wiggle room do leave in there? How do you set up your wife? Yes. So I there there's lots of structure in a male or really disciplined, generally, I'll have thirty percent of unstructured where I have to put in the time. I get to have creativity. In this space to be by a discipline comes in the morning. I have to get about a certain time for my meditation. Jacob leagues, but during time that we have to get ready for school. Then I'm also had structuring very clear working period. So no matter what mood. I am. I mean, unless unstick no this is the time I need to look at this launch copy beyond his client meetings as praise really structured sex also to get scandaled, actually. But it it does Amazon I just have to come to that. Over the tree road. Boy, that's what it really comes out to be. We have scheduled and look at our year in terms of our getaways in our in our weakened times gathering retreats. And so that's also in the game plan the number of trips each one of us is committing to for the year is also reasonably committed to a head of time. So it sounds a little bit. We don't have as much freedom and at the same time on that structure gives us the freedom to enjoy what we wanted to be able to be be ourselves slippage after I I love I think it's important because once you know, things are set in you don't want or I mean, even as far as like travel time, they -cation time. Like once you know, what you wanna do or how many you wanna do or how much you wanna be home? It can start to tell you what you say no to like. Okay. Everything outside of this is a no like is just clear. So it's been really powerful for me as well to have a schedule like that. Otherwise, it just fills in in fills in Phil. And then you don't have any of that wiggle room in the neuro- psychopath. So. It's also weird to scandal in the bun time or to Edwin the sex time by if you wanna make sure that it's a priority. You're giving it attention just has to get him to the calendar. Does it does? Otherwise, other things will other things will creep in there for sure it's always. So what is something that you feel like you are really like what's topic for you right now that's just important in your life or that you keep coming back to or something. That's just coming up for you a lot right now. You know, it's there's a couple of these in one of them is exactly what we talked around around drug Li live just finding wholeness, but also just being clear when I'm studying my business serene owering Janury or wants low Kanter full year relocatable we did last year in what we wanted to do this year, and I do really want to grow. And it's always about checking in with myself, am I really rolling because do I want this number because I'm coming from this ego? Identity place or I just really want summer because it's joyful talent for me to drive in hit. And that's really what I'm looking at in. Actually, my husband is sitting down with me to work through might strategic plan for the year. And ultimately it's coming back to that. Do I want to really go for the number and still feel that I'm giving the same amount to my marriage. Right. Isn't just so lopsided that. It's not that. It's probably there is some fearsome proving myself still in their business. Mike Kearney as we're working Lanny talking to my therapist about it. I'm June fryer around day in south, Lebanon, creating all stuff around it. I just I just wanna be clear, you know, any. Yeah. I think that's so important. I I don't think we do it enough. Or maybe I'm thinking for myself because I know I don't do it enough, especially as someone who's like old identity really attached to goals like accomplishing goals in staying busy in that in right now what I'm doing is like really questioning everything like why do I want that? Like, what's the feeling behind that? Or in a lot of times, the feeling can be achieved in a different way. Very interesting. I love your looking all. Oh my God. I have to at least this year. I didn't before I kind of didn't. Have to. I knew what I was doing. I just I think that we can always end up in different places in our life. Like once you achieve that number like, okay? So this is a question for you. So once you achieve that number like white is. What's there for you? What's waiting? Oh. My goodness. I. It's it's funny because every time I hit the number that I was going to be the most magical number and this is probably Miami such dating query. It's not actually f- exciting as you think. Yeah. Now out now either. I go. I it's really bizarre. And so funny. I I don't know because in the past when I hit my numbers, it wasn't as if not as romantic as as as you would expect that it's about. Okay. Well, then what do we want to do next? Would we want to snap of worm at it's? Okay. So would this number. What what am I really creating from this in do I really care about it? Or is it does really a fun. John for me to push myself. In our conversation around that it will retire talking about a second home in line country. Do we really want that? How does that feel? Why is that the vision for your life? I totally get it like, and I think that's important too. Is it what I'm hearing though, is is especially when you get to a certain point near career. Like, right. These aren't these aren't some of the questions you even need to ask in certain points, like some people are in hustle mode. You just gotta stay there. Thank you read of make money, and you gotta figure out like, you know, what you're going to do with your life, and maybe need to pay off a bunch of stuff or maybe you need to put money away. But Wednesday to certain point where you know that you're capable of making money, and it's not going to go away. Because you're the creator of it then you can start creating what you enjoy. And I think a numbers really important to attach it to. I also think that achievers need a number that will stretch them or people who are like really into Bros. So there's always that so true. And I'm so happy that you're seeing I could just remind me of why I like to pick a bigger number because you're right. I do like growth and quantity. And I'm so happy that you're giving me permission to do that. Same. Sometimes we need that too. 'cause sometimes I feel like whoa. Why did I pick that number is that like a really, you know, like, why do I need that? And then I'm like, I need that. Because I need to become the person who can do that. Like, what is what is she what other things is she capable of doing? What has she had to heal? Like what had to get right with arts? Make that number possible in become the container who can hold that number and let it be. Okay. And like what's coming up around that number and Julie interesting. I love I'm going to get this transcribed. My while. I'm not getting because when I think the big number like that's really a lot of what comes down to. And I just love by Senate. I think it's important for us. Especially just as women to other women to give permission because this is where we can have the hang ups. I'm there are times in my life. When I need another woman to look at me and be like you are burning out like you're not having any fun. And yet you're still going for this thing. Like is it worth it? So those are all that you also have to have that list of questions up there too. So those are equally like, you know, in their points in your life when you're ready to run through a wall. Like if someone tries to stop me on my getaway for me. No. I I totally see that. This is my season. I can like this is making me happy. So if you could give what is the permission that you need to give yourself and obviously by giving permission yourself, you give it to other women. So what her mission do need right now in your life. For me. It's it's the permission to to continue that into my power year after year in on on into not judge myself or to question myself Schutte bleed from a more negative respective that. Oh, wow. You know, I this is what I want. This is what I want, and I don't have justified. I don't have to lane it. And it doesn't have to be unmasked Lynn nine hundred really beautiful goal. And it can be really nice to have big all have big numbers and not feel intimidated, by or intimidate, my husband, Brian. It's all these things that come up in our internal world. But disagree myself permission to have into big numbers and want to beach millions of people that's actually the number. I have mine. My board for future is just have to reach millions and millions of people, and that's what I want. I love that. I love that. So what's one thing that you are letting go up this year? I am. I'm letting go myself being too serious. 'cause even laughing like a lot on this podcast. Well, part of it is you in in. I get really serious than I. I can just give the regiment's it with how I go bopping as just give me myself mission to on. And yes, if they on track with the metrics and numbers, but also it doesn't have to be so strict in so tight. Spun look like that. So what does that look like like how are you going to add in not being so serious and adding actual fund into your life? What are those one that? When I go my webinars, I promised myself having fun. So whether weighing fun song ahead of time, I'm gonna have fun really connecting her heart with the people in the women are no matter how much pressure I put on myself to you know, to deliver delinked fulfill, and I've I've actually joined a couple of new organizations in new communities this year because winning connect in span my world in hand, hang in be fun for me. I I really loved me people in it. Just it's easy to just being your daily grind and forget to meet you people in. So that that's a really nice thing. We have in doubt third piece is I told my husband I wanna big from this year. So. That is actually on the agenda last year has got to crazy, but this year townie. Do you know where you wanna go? I'm not sure I'm usually we'll do a European trip. We just got last year and to do Morlin weekend wine country getaways. Yeah. But Raleigh bigger trigger Europe. And then more wine country getaways, which is also brought up the whole second home. Our totally. So you should you should go to Greece. You should go to make notes in you should dance on tables at I'll I'll tell you where to go than. The best part is you can dance on tables at like nine PM. So it's my kind of party. I'm like, okay. Great nine thirty. Let's go home. I love it and throw some plates. It's going to be what about you? I'm curious to hear difference of more nor finding joy for you this year, more fun. I was just talking about this today. And I love that. You said you have conversations with your husband to kind of stay like, you know, what season you're an or what you need or whatever. And I was talking to him this morning. And I'm like, here's where I'm at like, I don't necessarily need fixes, but I need to process out loud. So I'm probably going to be processing a lot. Like, I literally I love that. You talk about how important it is to have an open dialogue. I'm always saying where I'm at. So that he knows it's not him or that I need to process in this way on let's been really powerful to have someone like that a women who you know, who don't have partners or whatnot. You can also do that. I think with like friends or family and be like, hey, I need to process for a bit. So for me fun. Looks like I gotta do something creative outside of work. Like I have to. I'm such a creator. Like, my my happy place is creating whether that's dancing or writing. Or, you know, I don't know if it's going to be pottery or learning a language it's gotta be like creative and learning that that's what lights me up the most. So I'm actually in the process right now figuring that out, but I I need to do it sooner than later because I've been sitting in this like kind of like whining complaining, I need to do this. And it's I'm annoying myself at this point. So I I'm just gonna you know, what take my own advice in take action figure it out. And if I don't like it, I can always try another class. Right. So I'm gonna burn idea to classes or something like I need to get into some community around creativity. So there we go. So in closing could talk to you all day about life imbalance in family and business in all my God. Like, all of the things what is one last thing that you would love to share whether it's about life or business or both. I would say that it it's really not being afraid to be yourself initials of in businesses shows the ni-, but I give you off me all day while is a good best practice. Should I make his red? He know should I change mine? Acted Email message because it's not rookie with the rules. And the truth is outside of two percent of must have everything else is really in. So my mind. Common feedback is if you want to price it at one zero h will cares? That's not ninety seven or ninety five. It's you in. If there is a good enough reason for that Innovest who you are to just really not be afraid of being yourself. Open business of knife in to really stand up into really show up for that. That is so powerful. I wish I would heard that like five years ago. But I'm hearing it now so. It's in. It's the truth. It's like so deeply the truce. So I'm so grateful for you. And I wanna make sure that everybody can find you in fall you in a specially guys if you're like, you have that message that you wanna get out in your really like unclear exactly how to do that. I would highly recommend at least going out in checking out her programs because they are so helpful. So where can we find you follow? You learn about your programs. Yes. So desperate men on Instagram on that really briefly to connect diem me in indefinite. Berman dot com. You'll be able to get connected with me on there. You have information. And I look forward to meeting some of you. Yes. Hopefully, all of you. Always end on one last question. Are you ready? Okay. So you are like thirty seconds in passing with a stranger. Whether it's on the street or in an elevator. What is literally just thirty seconds. And they look at you in ask you, how do I make myself happy? What do you say to be comfortable in your own skin against this really the same message, but zone to be at ease limited rephrase that a little bit to be east with where you are right now. A man, that's so bad. Thank you so much, and you guys if you loved this episode is much as I did make sure you share it or text it right now with a friend or somebody that needs it the beautiful way to gift all of this information to somebody. So until next time earn your happy by everyone. Thank you so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am. So glad that you stopped by if you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it. That would be absolutely amazing. And we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to I tunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think tell us what you want to hear more of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people intil, then don't forget to earn your happy thanksgiving guys. Bye. Bye.

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Season 4, Episode 8  WDAD-TV

Bad To The Dad

54:47 min | 4 months ago

Season 4, Episode 8 WDAD-TV

"You're the kind of Dad who has a mute button when debating his kids then this is the podcast for you. You. Don't need a mute button for us. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de the fastest growing dad theme podcast all of humanity also the podcast that celebrate suburban Dad Life and every other dad in any other habitat in between you also don't have to worry about US Jeffrey Toobin we keep our. And we are in front of a computer screen. It's week eight episodes eight of season four. It is my great pleasure as Adam to introduce a good friend. His name is coach Randy. We thought we do the polite thing and come back for another week another episode, another episode episode eight. A D Ud keeping up with the media every. Week we had Thad Brown is the CBS affiliate up in Rochester New York doing sports but this week. Jona Kaplan. Now, usually at the end of every episode, you say Adam de well, you know amazing people got us another great guests. This is one of. The person from your I am proud to on the Jonah cap and I knew him when he was a was in college, he was like. Twenty twenty one just about to graduate I've known him a long time on his family This young man who's now manny's dad looking for just whatever kind of dad vice you might have. He wanted to go to journalism and at the time he just grew he went to start up ESPN. He lived some town in Texas and what's great about him is he was so adamant and so determined he flew himself out there for the interview Yep they liked him they hired him a small town in Texas, and he's now interviewed. I. Mean. You'll hear it here we're and ask him yeah. The kinds of people that I interviewed at I think you're going to be surprised and extremely impressed you how accomplished to journalists Jona Kaplan is. So that's coming up in our next segment but right now we talk about our weeks I had a really Pleasant Week. I had a really nice daddy daughter night at a restaurant called the office. It's not my office to restaurant cold office. Yes. Sir Several offices offices in new. Jersey was East Hanover is Aziz town over yet in a mini mall parking lot and they've done a great job with the cleanliness and the social distancing making sure that all of the tables which are outside in a tent in our distanced from themselves and it was just a great night where we shot the phones we them away and we talked about our days we talked, of course about school. My daughter's got this baby sitting gig. She's got this one client right in our development. And the the kids a gem. But what she's finding is there are other babysitters in the development who their own clients nurse in a sorority forming where the babysitter's and the kids all kind of play with one another outside. Okay. So she has this one friend who's babysitting a neighbor and the kid got upset. So he got. He got so upset because of some kind of soccer game where he wasn't getting the ball that he ran inside his house and locked all the doors. so He's trapped himself inside. No one can get in the babysitters outside everyone's panicking. My goodness. What if he hurts himself inside is he going to be okay and then we have babysitters climbing into windows to make sure the kid is okay. That's about to lock all the doors. You know I don't think I. Don't think we're were concerned that the kid is going to hurt himself as I think that the babysitters are more concerned. What are the parents can? Band Center Crappy babysitting second. Since get down I, need the money. So. Those are some of the stories that that we share him. It was just good to Sorta hit you know stop time for a little bit catch up with my daughter and only my daughter and I'm a big fan of daddy daughter moments. I had an interesting daddy daughter moment. This have anything to do with softball coach not this one I will. I do have a story about softball, right but this actually did not have to do about softball amazingly enough So I had a daddy daughter moment. So both my girls this past week was my adversary, right? Happy innovate you so much. Thank you. Call that. Happy Tolerance Tolerance Day for your wife. Yes. I mean she's had to put up and she is Clearly deserves that word I. Want to do something special because we're covert right we are or covert in differently flake going out to a restaurant sitting outside you know in for anniversary. So I decided to bring food in and needed my girls a to act as waiters and waitresses Ryden. So I wanted to do I had them her talking about I had the menu planned out we know we have. Food, whatever it was we got it from hooking real again another great shoutout to an Essex restaurant and I want them to think about the playlist because you go to restaurant there's music is he plays on the background right and so I'm talking about everything's and my youngest to is eleven and my and Michaela who's fifteen kind of covers her mouth over kinda whisper something. This particular song and I look at him like, what are you talking about Michaela starts laughing at the song. And she said would you talking about well? Prepare Yourself here's the thing about we're thinking about wop. WOP WOP. Are you got you got a school me because for me want something completely different well. I'm. Not, up. Okay. The song called. Why do you smell it w? AP. Why. Would think that'd be wouldn't it? All right. Clearly. Clearly. I've crossed the threshold a different mcgraff he pulled who are listening right now are laughing at you because they people who walks for are so I happen to know what what watts by Cardi B. and Meghan stallion right. I gotTa talk to Perry A so so. I look at my daughter to go. Are you kidding me wop? And they look they go wake dead you know. Mike why Would I know what? So I'd have to keep this PG thirteen? Please WOP STANDS FOR WET as. O.. P. P.. Generation to our our boy DJ CAGEY AS SEASON One, go back listen. You'll have a lot of fun. So the peanut so wet. I love how you. Didn't do that the first time. At. This with my daughter's now going. Oh. My Gosh they know I know and I'm like. I don't know. They've really understand the bigger picture. A Lot. I have the image aside and I don't want that on my playlist for Serie serves of having that and so the music is infiltrated. And? We decided to to end it in that included in the playlist. So that was a daddy daughter moment mark play smart play Mar play a lot more PG thirteen. That's my PG babysitter story. Perry shared with me at our dinner. It was funny. But I it's. It's a funny moment and. What you Know even even as they get older if you would ever know the opportunity. Blanket yes. Yes. So that was. A cringe-worthy mode, but fortunately, we made it through it. Thank you Cardi B.. Exit that listen it was a great week. The girls are healthy and I've learned but you mentioned softball. Had Number Greenwich. So, what would pick stories are twelve team have the playoff right? It was Thursday night you're up nine seven who right we had the lead yeah. Nine seven go to the top of the six. Begin scored Iran's the other team A. Link to the bottom of the six. Sorry and. It was tied nine nine. and. We ended up losing ten nine in the bottom six. I really thought there was going to be some now it was but they really did well bears around. Here would have been great but now my fourteen, you I, we play tomorrow, which is Sunday Sunday which recording Saturday. So okay. So we're playing tomorrow tomorrow evening five o'clock, and we are the last placed team. We are the eighth seed and the eight seed plays number one you have the entirely right were you want exactly right and so I get an email from the coach that's listen up just want to give you a heads up. We have issues in town blah blah blah, and terms a field. So I've gone ahead and contact the team. Whoever wins this game yet to come and play at seven o'clock as I could double header. Rogan a turn our car lights on. They have. They do have lights but again. He contacted the team. Right to to make arrange because he is convinced. Oh that he's he's going to be that he's going to beat us and he's going to be kind of probably right? Right. Well, here's the thing given what he seemed. We played them early on the season. And he played them any. When I play in the season everybody played I do whatever can't people in we're not leaking focused on last week we strived to but no situations you know now you're playing to win and so this guy says this email With the I'd ask to say Oh and I brought the number you the team we played with. So if you beat US feel free to play them and I respond back, you know listen I. I. If we win into really big win, but we're not prepared to play second game. I'm not going to players that can happen so. I appreciate the heads up. So I guess what happens. So I met with the players that's not a practice and the moisture talking about it. I got really angry the data in the gut for that guy to come after us and think just because we're ellen whatever that somehow we're circle win. So. I'm going out, get his motivation I use it as motivation uses motivation, and I'm going out to win tomorrow it be told this story I told him. I'm going to go out for the win tomorrow, and I want to have that awkward moment at the end of victory. With other team is there and I say we have to reschedule have to come back. We'll find some of the time for us to play Coaching Mantra never underestimate at team ever nothing to lose got nothing to lose I said I got nothing to lose we got we got nothing they have everything to lose we have nothing to lose which means we have nothing to lose I'll play relaxing, but also play motivate Yep. Who's always motivated and? Marketing, her website, her I didn't forget. Items Genius Becky Burma Burma's. Dot Com Berman CS DOT COM for all of your marketing web design and also business consulting needs. She's a graphic designer to. The Bone Daddy that you see on our social media accounts would you can find by the way at to the Dad Instagram facebook twitter, and then of course, there's our website that to the dead dot com coming up. It's our guest Joni Kaplan W TV in Raleigh right here on to the debt. We are. The fastest growing dad theme podcast in all of humanity remember you can follow us on social media are handle for pretty much all the platforms is at bad to the dad. Can't get any easier for for a dad or a mom act bad to the dad and our website because you have to have a website, you have to have a website and we do what is that at an as deb dub dumb. Not Bad to the DAD dot. com. Coach. We're GONNA continue with the media theme. You know we had Thad Brown on with by the Way Fun Conversation Shans You're still going to go back tonight, decided to throw it back in one more time Jan is that you kind of giving me heater you dislike sanctions while I like sanctions but I prefer us at. But that round was the sports director for the CBS affiliate up in Rochester New York covering the buffalo bills and the NFL at large and talking about the NFL in Kobe time. So we so much ballyhoo and response to that. We thought we'd we'd keep the media theme going here in our week eight season four eight. We've got Joan at Kaplan from W. tvd in Raleigh North Carolina joining us on bad to the dad. Jona thank you so much for spending time with us on. Bad to the dead. Guy's my pleasure so much fun. Look at this woman started. We got so much fun. Great. Happens in twenty minutes at a nice break from the other stuff that I've been covering in. Oh, I'm a political reporter I've been. Like the Super Bowl of American politics and tax season and Ramadan. Hajj in the High Holidays. Christmas all in one. It's like just. It is insane and don't forget Arbor Day and flag day which as we don't get August saying it's like you can't fit for a political reporter. You cannot get bigger than the twenty twenty election. You cannot get more overwhelming you cannot get more Airtime, you cannot get more serious you cannot get more important you cannot get more critical. You cannot find stakes that are higher. You cannot find more interest. It is just. It is it is the biggest story that you can go for. So I think that's what strikes. US is interesting about this time in history. So you was a news reporter do you wake up every morning and go I wonder what the world is going to throw up me today I what? Craziness I wonder what turning points in the political landscape I'm going to be exposed to today it is it is it the kind of thing where you wake up you just don't know what you're going to be. Focusing on. I kinda wake up and I say, okay who's visiting today because it's North Carolina and We're recording this on a Saturday and a president trump is coming back to North Carolina today it's his eighth trip to North Carolina since September. And think about that he was off he was off the trail for two weeks because it was in the hospital and we Kobe nineteen. So he still managed to get here eight times in the last two months. and. That's without two weeks Mike Pence, coming tomorrow. New Jersey Senator Corey Booker is here this weekend we don't know. They're bound to be others next week. We just we just know that because it's North Carolina and fifteen electoral votes and the state is just it's it's really just the it embodies everything it's a microcosm of the country. So you've got urban and rural you've got young and old you've got white minority you've got college educated not college educated and again I say it's the urban and rural divide and this state just embodies kind of all those other. Kind of clashing of demographics that you have in the rest of the country. So yes, there are other swing states. There's Wisconsin there's Minnesota Pennsylvania's Ohio. But everything seems to come back to North Carolina. I didn't think. Carolina was in play. I thought you were going Red Fada complete. No and it's acts twenty sixteen. You had Donald Trump win the state by about four percent and he's a Republican and then you have Richard Burr the senator he wanted thousand sixteen Republican but you had Roy Cooper a Democrat win governor and Josh Stein Democrat Wind Attorney General A. Democrat. So you know you you have all these just kind of really really clashing I. It just goes to show that labels are for Kant's I mean it really it voters are going to choose what they want. They can be fickle and again the changing demographics. Talked off air about all the you know relocated Yankees I mean people moving from from New York. You know they come to. North Carolina. It's the same reason why you know people say Texas is in play I don't think it's that in play but because you just have people moving from California from Illinois from. New. York from New Jersey in communities states, and that's why with Carolinas also now being called the New South. I guess that's a good reference. Sure. That's opposed to the old south. Depends on on what south in history Talking about civil war south we talking about reconstruction itself. Cigarettes. Well. Well if you, I mean look before the civil rights movement you know and Before the civil rights movement I mean this was all democratic country, right? And then after the civil rights movement, he became of Republican country and that was, and that was the that was that was the old newsouth giant became the sun belt and that became kind of the Red Wall and all that south, and when the Johnson was the last you know real southern Democrat and then. Now, you're having some of these against states that were again just. So traditionally read. Like North Carolina like a Georgia that. That are that are now starting to maybe come around a little bit. So if you don't mind Jona, I've no new and I I can go back. and Say I knew you win the did not win Win He used to whine and complain enough no. Had Nickname for you. Right was amazing Jake Vigliotti Amazing Jay 'cause you are amazing. Always thought I knew. Very early on right so this is no surprise but you originally didn't really want to become the counter reporter where you came out that you had a different interests at the time. Right. As you see where my Eagles Jersey in I'm a huge sports fan sports room here you can't see it but I've got all sorts of memorabilia here and That was just what I loved. I did love news to. High School remember start come on don't don't these models. Would you start? If you really want to go back in high school I, don't think I'm not even sure you know this. By Senior High School High School had an internship program and split time at Msnbc which was then it's a caucus New Jersey and I was a runner. For the New Jersey Nets what then were the New Jersey Nets mentally production crew at yes network. So a runner was. I get seventy clock game I get there at twelve noon and I'm basically. Whether it's copies of statistics, waters, dry cleaning and then. Cables, videotapes. And it eventually, the real reason was called runner because back at that time before everything was so digital. I would be in the locker room getting postgame interviews and I would have to run the tape when it was finished the interview hsen running as fast as possible to the production truck. So it could be there for the post game. And for the post game show. So I was a runner and then in that morphed into I went to school in Boston at Boston University? And I called the net. So was like well, when you come to Boston, can I you know run for you again this is yeah, and then when I swell then I thought to myself well, why should I do it just when the mets are here let me call the Celtics and i. Called, a bunch of people a lot of people said no, but finally someone said, well, we don't handle hiring. Let me tell you who does and that turned into then working for other production crews. And in that turned into. A a night, a immediate relations gig with the Boston bruins and then an internship. ESPN. So, very, very less break and. First of all the ESPN thing that was a big deal. Yeah, coach you still love when we got there and Chris Berman was in the elevator with his Hawaiian shirt on who it was I. Did I went to visit I was on my way back dropping my daughter out from camp. My son was with me and join away there replete pulled on ESPN parking lot is a basketball court and there is I do I. Remember that So what I think is so amazing is that you know your start you know most people. You know and you know what I work I work a lot of population with your the millennial generation Z.. You on TV and just think boom you just showed up. But. They don't understand and appreciate the true backstory of just what it took. For you to get to where you are in Raleigh I mean, if not just namedrop real quickly some of the people you've recently interviewed if that's okay. You're media namedrop that you'RE GONNA namedrop. Well, I. Mean he he would do it if you didn't want to. Japan but I figured we have you on. So why don't we do it? I have been. Very, very fortunate and blessed to interview the President of the United States dollar J trump. The Vice President Mike Pence, the Democratic nominee and former vice president Joe Biden. Jr Mayor Michael Bloomberg Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Tom Steyer. Oh Yeah Dr Burks. Thank you Jimmy Fallon a few years ago. three governors. Oh interviewed Stacey. Abrams yesterday from Georgia actual. Hasn't hit area. And then you know and and just also conversations with. You know some of our senior reporters ABC News. So Lindsay Davis and Jonathan Karl and Martha Raddatz. So it's been. It's been very cool. I've definitely picked the right place to live and work. Now and It's it's just been. It's been great if you WANNA be a political reporter. No better place to be right now than North Carolina. Joan I never liked to ask reporters what was your favorite interview because you probably have a lot and each one is unique in their own way but which one has been the most memorable for you. I mean, as my brother likes to joke, YOU'RE NOT GONNA get any bigger than the president. Right? I mean who's left the queen of England or the Pope I mean you're just you're not gonNA get any bigger than that. So just by him being who he is, that was the most memorable also because of like some other kind of funny like behind the scenes stuff that happened during that interview because I'm not really allowed in the studio right now because of Covid. So I had to do the interview on my back Porch and it's Tuesday morning. and. The neighbors starts mowing, the lawn neighbors starts. Again in a leaf blower out and I have to run and tell them please guys stop got a ten minute warning from the White House and then in the middle of the interview, neighbor comes neighbor who I told the landscaping crew to stop she comes in the interview in the my yard it starts talking to the photographer try to get my attention. He's literally NAM he is on the phone right? He is talking with the President of the United? States. Lease wait ten frigging minutes. Though that was memorable. You know the device so I've interviewed now vice. President Pence twice and the second time was memorable because he comes out of his Green Room holding when he says, where's Jona? Where's Jona good to see you again man and like Oh hi, Mr? vice-president. Oh. Kind of cool I with the most memorable actually have nothing to do with celebrity politics. They usually have to do a severe weather and usually have to do with these You know hurricanes or tornadoes because these are the people that have. I don't touch your soul and they and they show you the strength of of the human spirit and. And kind of the adrenaline of that moment. Of of the tragedy and the trauma and those are the most memorable. But just going back to your leaf blower story just goes to show you that in in covid kind of working from home all that guy that analysts in Korea whose wife was crawling into the room trying to pull the kids were having underneath his mother. It's a dog whether it's a kid with a neighbor elite rowers just at they're just so I don't know how it is in North Carolina but. I do some stand up comedy on the side and one of my bits is about. How you have these vicious campaign ads and I, just wish that people the candidates would come out and be honest about the other candid and just say things like you know Steve Johnson is a big fat. Jackass. But we're actually starting to see that happen. In fact, there is a a congressional race going on in Staten Island. Between Max row all my God other Endeavour Josh Nicole Malia me. Oh. My Gosh. So if you. Come that. So you have Ovar it's fooball. Have me talk as is saying, Max rose marched with those who want to be fun to police and Metros has people on the streets saying Malia, Takas a fraud she's a fraud. You could turn into this rat because she wanted to reduce funding for nursing homes at the peak of Kovin. But that's you know that's the the campaign and that's the accusation of one one campaign of the other what strikes me as it's no-holds-barred. Now there's you know no appreciation for civility we have people doing these men or woman on the street interviews. and. They're cursing and they're saying things like. He's a fraud is an in fraud. He's been liar. Sleeping out, and this is what's supposed to convince us to vote for the other person. Are you seeing that down in in the southern states specifically in North Carolina and has gotten that vicious? We've looked we've gotten certainly we've got a lot of contested races I mean besides president we've got a Senate seat up for grabs. Thom Tillis Republican trying to hold the seat for CAL Cunningham Democrat who? Until recently, he's now involved in a bit of a sexting scandal sex thing I think is kind of A. Inaccurate. Term because if you read these. Sound like they're middle school. John. Real quickly because I don I know you're you're midstream but imagine having this technology when you're in college, I, mean, come on. I would have failed miserably. Off. Trouble I mean there's just so many ways. But yes. So go ahead overfill miserably when I mean fail I mean like I wouldn't be texting with anybody because? I was just. At Home So you know I yes. I would agree that this civility has definitely gone. By the wayside and I would say to that though I just. The ads are I. Think people are just so desensitized to it all and they don't even pay attention to the ADS and I I don't know if this is what it's going to be for the other elections. I think people's minds are made up right now is just such a a slim slimmer of voters that are actually undecided. I think. Stacey Abrams. Said something really interesting to me yesterday. She said, the undecided part is not which candidate they're gonNA vote for the undecided is whether they're gonNA vote at all. And I thought. It was like you know that that's that's very that's very insightful and. I, I. You know I mean think about it here in North Carolina. By the end of this weekend, you're going to have more than three million people have already voted I mean that's almost half now all we're getting towards half of all registered voters already voted already voted we still have a week left of of early voting. So people are people just aren't waning usually you wait until election day because you wanna see what happens what are the next story lines So now our show is, is about Dad's in, we don't get political because we know off. Dad's all all all dad's doesn't matter but I am curious to know what we'll talk about you being a dad and few few moments you know for you like to get the phone call to John against what you got poets of who wants to Abrahams. Given what's that life you excited for listeners gonNA come from. About you what's light to kind of get that call? Well, I would say it. It's gratifying. It basically is the the. It's the fruit of months maybe even years of labor and what I mean by that is like, is it hard labor? No, but is it lots of emails so many phone calls. Persistence, patience building relationships. You know meeting this contact who then connects you to this contact with that connects you this contact connection to this contact and meeting this state lawmaker that's state lawmaker, and then this congressman this senator, and then this handler and then so it's it's like climbing this never ending ladder that you think you're just never going to get to it. If only I exercised as hard as I work for these interviews, I would be you know on American Ninja Warrior. Because that's how hard. That's how persistent. And diligent you have to be because. You you just. You just have to keep going. So finally when it's like, okay Yes. Jonas, it's your turn you're like. Okay, I got it, and then once you get there and if you handle that well. then. It's it's almost like the floodgates opened in the sense will now they really know you and now they really trust you and one interview gets to two, and then to get to three, and then three hits the four, and then all of a sudden you're not even asking for interviews and they call you I didn't ask for Stacey. Abrams I didn't even ask the vice president a second time a half hour after I spoke to president trump on email to join a vice-president pence is coming to the Raleigh area. Would you like to do a one on one exclusive interview? So I didn't even ask for that. And then it just Kinda came and so. That's that's kind of how it kind of goes and the last time I interviewed. Vice President by which was around. Labor. Day I didn't ask that either I didn't even know he was available yet. They called me and said, he wants to do an interview in North Carolina. We want you to do the interview. So Jonah is just a again a I've known you because you know there's a big block from ESPN to Raleigh? Yes. We're missing we're missing a last stops but yeah but not necessarily. One of the messages were getting. As we did with that is yeah. What in the reps? Right who in the reps giant, you can challenge your comfort zone and take initiative gives you is you. At the business for you, this is a guy who decides he he wants a job right and so Texas middle of where in Texas we don't know exactly some of the panhandle. Texas. and. There's a snowstorm in Texas right? Six years. Yeah. No never comes to taxes and this and I am sorry your kid I know that your old I was a kid I was twenty three years old. And what do you do you contact to to get on which show to talk about snow cone seep I I was like this is insane. All these people are stuck on the highway I. mean these trucks can't go up the hills like it's Christmas I just picked up the phone and I called the CBS switchboard. And I said, can you connect me to somebody and I, finally got through to somebody and they were like, yes, send US video. So I sent us video and then in my quest getting video I ended up getting stranded. On the side of the road I was like in a ditch in, I needed to I was like thirty feet off the road and being. Fortunately, I had gas and and I think I had a phone charger at the time the and these are not smartphones. I know a little flip phones. Might have been blown away among your plan. Yeah. I wonder if it was a blackberry yet. Might have had a blackberry I don't remember but. So anyway, and eventually I got on this. So I got on the CBS. Evening News that night. Twenty three year old kid twenty, three year old kid in the middle of nowhere taxes has the. will use a great word Pittsburgh to sit there and say all news and that's the kind of person that's because he said, what's the worst they're going to say? No. Okay. So they say, no. Now again, if I had had that kind of competence with with girls. Before I was thirty you'll have to. Hire withdrawal, but I will tell you that's a great segue talking about girls because your your job yet. Your beautiful amazing wife Yes on my third stop. Yes. So I've lived in Texas I lived in Missouri and then so I went from which falls Texas to Springfield Missouri to Milwaukee Wisconsin in there you met and that's where I met my wife Grace Yeah Eddie that's you decided to. But did you have any idea that we'd be leaving Milwaukee? Any point? No I did I have an idea that we were leaving, Milwaukee. Yes I. Knew I didn't want to stay there long term. I. Didn't think we would leave. Immediately after my first contract. So and you grace's family was there and we I mean, we were comfortable. You know Milwaukee was the first place where I didn't get there and was like, Oh, well, I'm GonNa leave soon you know Texas you're like, I, know not gonNa be here stepping Stone Missouri. I, loved, Missouri. I really those were I mean that was like my Grad School Missouri. Amazing Friends Amazing Memories. and. But there too like I knew I wasn't going to be in Springfield Missouri knew I wasn't going to be in the ozarks. but Milwaukee Yeah I thought we were going to be there a little longer but circumstances changed management different things opportunities. I would never had these kind of opportunities. In Milwaukee that I'm having here though Wisconsin is a swing state. I was just not in that position and something opened up here and it has just been perfect. Now. So what you're hearing right now is the blueprint for what a lot of aspiring news people go through. You know it's unlike what Thad Brown is. He told us last week he went to college in Long Island went back home stayed at home and he was lucky enough to be in Rochester in Rochester which was his hometown. So Jones has. The. Real answer to that is if you WANNA if you want a job in in the answer, is you make your own blueprint because every single person has a different one? Yes. Line was this route there it's. It's almost like you know in new. York. You can never get the same taxicab twice you you know. There's just there's no other reporter that has ever done. This route is no other person in the world that has gone which fault. This specific station to that's been like no one has done that route everyone has a different route. No one has the exact same route to where they are nobody what a great metaphor for life I wonder nobody. Actually, that's a way because there's some people said, Oh you know, oh, you went to mit and then you went to Harvard Medical School and then you worked at the hospital. Nobody has done. This nobody sounds like you might have had good inspiration for someone your life many many many years ago in terms of in terms of life in the journeys but I won't get into that. Now I will just say, I, just say I teach people the w rule. Yes W role. So, what does the as W roll? Some will some won't so what someone's waiting? There you go did you make that up the Guy China's? Abraham. I also talk about the laws of attraction. Coaching I I should get royalties. Get. Royalties. But I'm coaching. I. Have Like my photographer like people I work with and they're like, oh, I don't know like dude, you walk into that room thinking you're GonNa fail guess what you're going to fail what you put out there is what you're going to bring the. Action. Will. That's part of the reason why Donna. So proud of what you've done is remarkable in the show is about Dad's and. How how's IT being a dad? Especially when It's my favorite job. It's the best I always knew I wanted to be a data. They always knew I was going to be a good dad because I loved being a camp counselor. My favorite thing I loved. I I went to Camp Harlem in the poconos and HR L.. A. M. by the way and I had My favorite crew were like the ten eleven year olds where they're you know still there too old where they didn't need to be babied but two young where they still listen to you and I felt like that paternal figure so much fun. So I just knew that I was gonNA love doing this. What is it like being a dad in your line of work? I mean do you get quality time with your wife and you've got a a little girl? You've got another kid on the way. You know you're you're not scheduling. Weekend an average dad is scheduling. Their weakened does not like soccer games and ice cream runs and things like that. That's a that's an excellent point. It is very tough and I've spent I spent nights away. I'm up early in the morning, sometimes during hurricanes like I didn't hear for week. I didn't see them for a week. Taken a toll I. Think what you do is pursuit you have to, you have to set standards for yourself. So and you you have to basically say like the they know it work. I'm not going to work on a Friday night. A MAC GONNA work on Saturday mornings unless it's like a real emergency because I want Chabala. I. The Sabbath Myself incidentally the Jewish Sabbath. Incidentally by the way, I had to pull a Colfax I was invited to interview, Comma Harris and she was visiting on you'll Kippur and I turned it down you Colfax WTI. I- Colfax Colfax Colfax Harris what I did. Come Harris Mary to it to a Jewish Fella. Much should be insured. You. Have to set your foot down and you know how? I caught myself today I was offered a big interview today with. White House senior adviser Stephen Miller and I turned it down I know I know. Down I turned it down. At Saturday morning with us on bed of the dead or your family your. Family look at that Jonas ally does So I think you have to do the best you can I guess one of the fun parts about this though is that maybe I can't see Reena my daughter but she could turn on the TV and see me she knows there and she feels like there and she gets excited and she feels a part of what I'm doing. She knows what I'm doing and she's able to see that Been Fun covert has been a blessing because I get to work from home a lot more and I'll go on TV right outside my front porch and she'll come watch and she'll come see the camera and the neighbors will come watch and and it's it's so that's been. That's been really cool for her to see it's like instead of take daddy to work day, it's like daddy worked comes to you day. And that's so that's been a blessing but there's no doubt about it. You are absolutely right and especially like in the next week I mean we're we're we're in crunch time here and then election day yeah. I'm, not, going to be. We're going to be as an end my wife, who is an absolute champ when she's thirty four weeks pregnant and holding down the fort when I'm at home. That's we can't really have sitters you know at that's a big deal. We've often said on our show the most important job. The biggest job in the world is MOMS. And Maybe, close second or those people that paint the Verizon Bridge coal miners you know I line people dad's car like way way in the five hundred, five, hundred, fifty. If we're lucky now it also depends on the day you know and Grounded because the. The tease of getting to see daddy later, the the idea of being with data later makes them behave. Here's how we're the ones that hold down. The Fort Reno don't behave that's not gonna come home and have fun with you. So you know I would be remiss if I don't mention the fact that You come from an incredible family both your parents. and. Hopefully, we'll get a chance to hear you in a different light rabbi ready Magnitski and Your Dad Rabbi Ron Kaplan, you are a son of two rabbis. You've got a brother who's in the military that's right I didn't go into the family business. You know the family business needed your brother he's a doctor. In the even out for him I I really do still holding out I think. Out Well you've been raised so I mean. I used to joke with both you and your brother when I come back. I'M GONNA come back is one of your parents kids of because I I appreciate you thinking that the aura created on facebook and instagram is that good Say That's us. No, we've been very blessed and and I do credit my parents and my dad always talked about the importance of family and know it is a priority and I'm so glad you asked that question but you're you're absolutely right as I and as I think about what my next step is I mean I have a good deal here right? I work Monday through Friday, I have relatively good hours. But if I want to move on and work in in DC or I want to move on and become a national correspondent in Oh, that's something I have to think about those are a lot of hours White House Correspondence in Oh, they go with the president wherever they go in the news and end. That's definitely something you have to wrestle with but the. Way I, see it is you know look my both of my parents were both work fulltime and I didn't see a lot of them. But now I'm old enough to recognize boy look what they provided for us and they were trying to nurture in different ways soon. So I talk about that we have time we'll kind of stuff you like to do with Rena. We love to watch them up. It's I introduced her to the muppets. That's are we loved we're GONNA. Yeah, we love doing that facts. You Hi. Ho. Courtesy Jerusalem grew up. We Love Them Up. It's. What else we love we we read books we do puzzles she likes cooking and we love taking nature walks love going to see the turtles. There's a little little within walking distance We're starting to play catch a little more. So we we do that. We have a couple of things in every Sunday, we try to do breakfast together outcrop. Very nice very nice and A part of our show gives a dad's a chance to offer we call. Yeah Which is advice for DADS. So I. Got. Two words of advice to two things and I've I've I've perfected this I've done this I've done this a lot. Okay. First question is especially new debt. Have you been to state fair before will be like, yeah. I'm like, have you seen the people? They're like yeah then you'll be fine. You'll be fine if they do it, you can do it. Okay. Well the second second thing I say is and you can use that in your comedy by the way. Thanks. Dollar the second thing I say is listen babies cry it's what they do. Don't worry about it like seriously don't freak out. It's what they do. They cry it's what they do. It's fine. It's fine. You know it's it's just like I, just don't I am the most even keeled. Nothing nothing fazes me nothing bothers me the screaming wining enough enough it's fine like it's what they do. They cry it's okay. It's going to be fine. Babies are politicians I just WANNA make sure I. He neither could. I. Confirm nor deny. Just spoken like a true true professional Jota. Wow. So blessed amazing. I come back. We do this again. Absolutely. We may spin off we. I would love that. So would come. Too but I think coaches. have. Is Compelling as as our people say Joan Kaplan of W. TVD in Raleigh News. At so that's at Kaplan. ABC. Eleven. which is my Graham twitter. So at Kaplan ABC eleven on facebook. It's Jona Caplin. TV So it's like W, and then TVD in Durham and Let's see and then we're ABC. Levin Dot Com. Which is an ABC owned station. One of only eight own stations in the country yard, the sister station of channel seven in new. York. So sometimes maybe we'll get up their coach I'll call you from Veron again. And Yeah I think coach, you had a TV. I had I had. Yeah I we'll. Remain seated I don't need to see the scar of giving you a standing ovation. You just don't see it given it. Jona thanks so much for being on bad to the dead this was. Immense, fund and best of luck during the election season and beyond. Appreciate it you enjoy it home you to. We are bad to the dad download US wherever you find podcast. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de Remember we are brought to you by Berman Branding Berman Dot. com is the website Berman C. as in Cat In solution that doesn't make any sense. Consulting Service Berman, CIS dot com, and you can find her on social media. It's at Berman branding. That is most of our most of her handles and if you'd like to be a sponsor or if you have a guest idea or a show idea, you can email us contact us at bad to the DOT com coach Randy one more time as contact us at bad the Dad Dot Com Jona Kaplan was our guest that was a lot of fun just like the Thad Brown, Yeah interview from last week we're talking about dads do media. Yeah. What and I am so proud that he was able to come on our show and the timing was perfect Amazing. Listen of names. That's pretty impressive. Yeah. Great Story and there's a few that we were talking about. Didn't mention yet, but he is talking all the news makers and they're all coming to North Carolina. They're all coming to Raleigh down. It's really bizarre I just and I Guess Carolina's and play I guess. But you know when he talks about it already half the population is made up their mind and already voting I love the fact that he said you know who's better than Polish. The pope you know New England so I guess that'd be the TRIFECTA. For him in his careers, eventually get to the Queen and and the pope give it his trajectory in terms of his work and how hard he works in persistent. Be. Surprised to hear that factor and wouldn't shock me if Jona Kaplan is in DC or new? York. Within the next five ten years easily easily as a correspondent ever anybody nationally or or any of the networks they. They should really grab this guy out and he's he's also extremely down to Earth to talking about how he balances manages time with the family but I always impressed with with these kinds of folks as inherent because yeah, he's doing really important work. His daughter actually in the kid that's on the way grow up watching him. Really, important work on the on the forefront of history you know all these stories even locally in the Raleigh Durham he is covering and and he's a Kinda reported that when it's time out for the hurricane, he thinks. He's. Ready to. The Rain Is. And I love how he's the in demand report. Yeah. When pence comes to down like you said, trump comes they wanna talk to Joanna cavs got to be a bizarre sensation of the vice president says John How you doing yeah. Let's. Let's do this again. That's this out. So it was it was a fun interview Right now, season four, we keep we keep lifting the Bar Adam dbq. Next. Week we go back to Comedians have a little. Mark Schiff. Schiff if you don't know mark ship, this guy opened for Jerry. Seinfeld on his tour the Jerry Seinfeld the the Jerry Seinfeld coach Randy. What's the deal? What's the deal with podcast? You think your radio station let's you're really not out of that was pretty bad. Oh You got so many. I think you should put your day job I think it's time you are you can I live here in the dead view where he lived We Slip Romeo. Absolutely happy to before we go I'm sure everybody is binging and coach, and I just watched the trial of the Chicago seven on Netflix. Now I S. I watched thank you ED McMahon three weeks and you doing that can't help it. I watched it because I want to see Sasha. Baron. Cohen. Borat aside I think he's one of the most agile actors. Why didn't even realize he was in it and that is I was watching, I'm like Savvy Hoffman like Oh, my God that's. IMDB Mike, oh. Yeah. Yeah. So we played a spy he should be because he's such a great master of this guy he that what's the accent? So well as Abbie Hoffman. From But I thought that the character and the actor that really stole the show was mark. Rylance played William Bill comes there who is the first chair attorney Yes for the Chicago Seven. It's unbelievable and I thought that was a tour. De Force. So again, one of these instances in time, right? That is sort of reflective of what we're going through. Now you know civil rights movement and there was a Vietnam Radic National Convention in Chicago Yeah. Vietnam the. and it's a fantastic fantastic. Aaron Sorkin. Please take that into account west wing yet the newsroom. So there's going to be a certain bend to it, but circuit always gets the all stars and he always puts on a show where the acting is brilliant again, Mark Riley I hope he wins something for his wife I think that that performance the whole show and at as a matter of fact, I remember at the end when I saw you know Aaron Sorkin. Oh well, that makes you go there you have. Out Now, I know why? But. Did I have to be honest at MD and we've talked about this offline just in terms of nature and health things are going and how people are humanity. In its troublesome to me because I don't like it being that way me being yelled that constantly for wearing a mask you know and telling people I'm. Not, wearing. Pants. Wearing shorts now. Every two. Sorry I had to throw that out. But. It reminded me that even though we're in the moment now in terms of our our history and we feel like it's so in your face and feel so threatened democracy, there's so many times before this in our country, the American revolution, the civil war to what that trial was about in terms of Vietnam that. Does give me hope to think that our our country, the coordinator who we are. We will find some way to persevere and that there is a future. There's a place for us to get through it. Yeah. But we're going to hopefully learn from history going to get through this. But hopefully, we will learn from history and we got through another episode again Mark Schiff comedian is our guest. Next week we are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de dads have a great week.

North Carolina President President Pence Texas Raleigh reporter Thad Brown CBS Rabbi Ron Kaplan US Randy ESPN vice president softball Joan Kaplan New York Rochester John Stacey Abrams soccer
SPASI - Ahad, 03 Januari 2021 M (Haris, Hendi & Gonal)

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SPASI - Ahad, 03 Januari 2021 M (Haris, Hendi & Gonal)

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Season 2, Episode 3  The Big Dad Theory

Bad To The Dad

52:42 min | 1 year ago

Season 2, Episode 3 The Big Dad Theory

"If you're the kind of dad who helps his kids with their science projects and they end up winning the nobel prize then this is the podcast cast for you we love it when you talk nerdy this is the podcast that celebrates suburban dad life and then he dad living any kind of habitat of course this is bad to the dad with coach randy and adam de along with coach randy my name is adam de and we're so glad glad that you the listener has decided to join us for at least the next forty five minutes or so or so if we wish forty-five minutes ish ish yeah we never really really now the big bang for our buck yes slots our theme today that they're looking how you worked in the title of the show right into into what we're doing here korea at bad to the dad and yes this episode is called the big dead theory with our good friend dr john deere cough doctor you know like like many of our shows i don't know what to expect expect when dr matt koff comes but he's a very very funny guy he's a scientist from what we're going to take the show on the science route the whole stem things become i'm very very popular with the kids and i'm curious to hear how the dads get involved with that my name is kids are very scientific they like robotics and transformers and all the things that go go bump in the classroom and the fact is named his doctor cough doctor doctor and turn to the left and i think he does own rubber gloves though he definitely i think i think lisa's with the option to buy it all goes back to fletch goes back to flesh hey we are very very excited about today's show but we have some the business we have to do yes of course you want to knowledge validates in the recommend our dear sponsor becky berman of berman dot com does remarkable work whether it's our graphic design website design consulting give her a call why haven't you done so already who reach out to becky berman at burma dot com remember the bed into the dead logo was designed by becky berman the skull the hat the pipe we gave her just a few key words and wallaf we had ourselves logo actually had ourselves to logos now if i'm correct could you just say bone daddy to her i did i know i didn't say bone daddy to her and that's something that we came up with judge that she did all the graphic design work and did a fabulous this job you know we're also on social media i heard that yes instagram while i've been saying it multiple times in every i think it would sink in at some point it's at bad to the dad head on instagram and we're on facebook and every once in a while we post something on facebook and that's ford slash bad to the dad and then we do with the i never thought i would say that a website is the old school way but every day new technology emerges so the website is sort of the old fashioned way and you can visit us at bed to the dad dot com see pictures here's our guests and all of the background shenanigans that occur when we produced the show as a matter of fact we have a page called shenanigans yes we do and that's where all the shenanigans against can be found your such so good developing this marketing development brand development model one day people are going to hear about me i would imagine so one day yeah and hopefully it's not in the police blotter order now so ready i will tell you this i am convinced that the summer is over and i will tell you why well as fact that i'm not wearing a sweatshirt long season i wear shorts so it's let's say the high sixties here in the wonderful municipality of west orange new jersey if i am still going to keep pushing it i will wear shorts you're wearing a sweatshirt you ever compromising i'm gonna t shirt and shorts and i will push this till november i have i am shorts person i have a rule yeah my real says beginning may one shorts every day through october thirty first and i think you'll you'll be able to work with this you're pushing it now i'm trying to push to november thirty if i can i'd like to think that through october thirty one it's it's going to be at least sixty degrees and for me that's my threshold here in west orange we might have a superstar you never know yeah we're we're going to get some sort of storm yeah we're we have fake fall going on now we'll get that indian summer right where we get a week of seventy five eighty degree weather and then it'll get cold again as it should in the fall yes but it's not even for me about the weather so coach you nedal that i but relatively long commute or maybe it's considered the average commute amongst commuters especially especially in the new york area on a typical day would probably take me just under an hour just to get to work i would say if it's a bit more average begets still reasonable he's left understand an hour drive to from is doable now in the summertime right i was cruising to work irritated me cruise on on a on a summer morning aren't say part yeah okay so would take me probably forty minutes forty five minutes on a on a rough day to get to work and that's pretty good that's pretty good for me heck that's great i think a lot of people would love a forty minute commute i can live with a forty minute commute but come september fifth what has happen my on my commute is a smidge over an hour and why is that buses buses buses school buses and i don't even blame the school buses who you blame then i blame the parents that are putting the kids on the school buses so here's the story so the the route that i take to get to the highway is on a school bus route right because okay got a lot of school junior high residential suburban guy so thereby you're gonna run into i have to take local roads in order to get to the highway yes so doesn't matter by samuel e ten minutes earlier ten minutes later inevitably i'm behind the school bus and it's these these one lane roads right these are and even then they stop and let me remind you yes okay so i'm behind the school bus and yes it does it'll stop assigned flappy floppy levy flabby with the with the flashing lights and were sitting there waiting waiting and why are we waiting because the parents not yet ready with your child johnny johnny has not emerged yet we're giving sixteen kisses and sixteen hugs forgot this forgot that yes they go back inside i'm with you can you know he's on the bus right can you think that the bus is running comes the floppy sign once again says and here comes the mom and the hair curlers running out we got the bag the lunch allied box yes so parents please lead get it together your game on for for the rest of the community who's trying to get to work make a decent living right be there on time for for their employees employers and their teams just get your kid ready get that lunch ready get him on the bus when the bus comes at at the stop sign ready to go beyond one foot spring loaded at to get onto that i would think you'd be celebrating good bye yeah go yeah just you're passing i was boom boom all that week but between vacation and on my shot at school i stab myself in the i four or five as we'll be here long week i'm like please start it's something to do get out of my hair on my shirt and here at my storage of course you know we started a little bit later we we had to do on that monday right or tuesday related labor day tuesday day off yeah and then wednesday stores that teachers teach man start your kids in the class after labor date it there's no reason that is just one of those days you just want to grab a knife in his dad yourself better go because the kids are nervous to kids are freaking now i want to go to school you want them there and then they leave and the busses laid the come home late yeah oh it as soon as i know that in other states like like in texas and florida they start early they get out earlier they get out around memorial day weekend but they start earlier they're like middle middle of august i traveled to cleveland ohio quite a didn't work yeah and they started middle of august and like why are they starting god bless in the middle of august has a great idea i mean i think it's great however the parents but then that cuts no vacation you get out around memorial day we can still chilean ohio line at a tell you that's downplay to it the kids get out of school earlier yeah and they have to fill out what to do back at the back in the middle of june in may yes no maybe maybe new jersey in our school system does do it right i don't know i think either way it's a lose elicit jewett you it depends on how you're feeling and what time of season it is about year round school keeping school the whole japan those kids those kids kid have elders they engineer they got a lot of stem out there i think be like japan be like i've seen that on a t shirt the friends be like japan so another reason why no the summer is over is i go into my favorite coffee shop on a sunday morning let me guess dunkin donuts doughnuts i do like the dunkin donuts patronize them they're very friendly they walk in they go okay the usual i say the usual absolutely have it ready for me i walk in even today any sunday morning packed with soccer team travel soccer teams yep you're right soccer soccer and wire wire thirteen year old girls drinking latinos because they neither caffeine that's how they get pumped up the coach's tell them and because they taste good can you can a thirteen year old girl system handle okay a a lotta that has that much caffeine i was gonna tell you it was going to take a picture of this but not the kinda guy who takes otherwise of care the US that in a social individual waiver forms and not think you're posting those kind of things yes so yes you can now tell that school's pulls back in because the soccer tennis i just i didn't workshops for probably seven different soccer programs in the past two weeks and how did that go song talk radio some soccer parents and i did soccer coaches and i dunno sided play soccer i think it's a fun game because back and forth but they're pretty nuts about about winning and whatnot but it's it's it is a third largest sport in this country yet most popular sport in the world you know overcome baseball also now it's football number one basketball in a close third is now soccer and that's an in america in america US i would think that football would be knocked knocked down a couple of pegs with all the concussion i'll go no no no no no we are we are a killer be killed country maha football best resonates with that that manliness testosterone filled brutality gladiator of the twenty first century so just in a violence scoring absolutely but in that order still version asia as an scoring second-guess yeah the basketball which is a quick paced scoring yup and i don't understand talkers through because i gotta tell you it is hands down so so difficult to sit there and watch what i'll do is just have a ball back and forth and people get excited and the pajamas and they just in shorts and like it's nothing so what should be number three the cross lizama baseball guy although i my feelings have been crushed since it became no longer the national no disrespect randy this you're saying you're saying that's soccer it's so tough to sit there and watch us baseball i take a big former travel baseball parents a lot of walks walks so you know no disrespect well i have this saying and people think miss speak with all disrespect yes and of course it's you know with all due respect yes yes i say with all due respect respect and it's no mississippi gets i actually think with all disrespect i like baseball to watch kid it is all kids but now we've learned how to keep it game with the run scored in mercy but eight to america i would be surprised if pickle ball because when the national favorable yeah and then the parents get intense about yes game with rackets and you are you take your soccer teams to dunkin donuts to load up on sugar and caffeine i don't put it on my players often arrive at practice or games having stopped off at the great i mean they got sugar their caffeine got dairy you know it's always about dairy it's of course it's a great combination for a kid before gave well it's great american condiment sugar caffeine in dera while and i tell you this the soccer team they they must have broken dunkin donuts with not prepare for a team of twelve thirteen year old girls to come in and ask for all these special nuances to their drinks i'm i even overheard one girl say you know at starbucks i put a label on it so you get all the ingredients in the label i'm just saying i'm just saying but i said the law also get your name amol absolutely as best they might be something offensive hippo we're beds of the dead we are bad to the dad remember you can find what it is that we're doing pre during and post show on social media at bad to the dad that's our instagram handle and of course it's our website bad to the dad dot com we are happy happy as can be happy in the den coach and have our good friend doctor doctor matcah doctor doctor doctor hello gentlemen dr and dr always goes back to chevy chase posters everything i learned cave gave hi i came from chevy chase we've fletch we've done shack and now we go to lead you remember john for a reason thanks for making time at of what i know is an extremely busy social calendar join us on to the dead ball thank you for the invitation i'm honored to be here so matt and coach ran this week we've had a lot of guests on who are athletes who are sports fans who have some involvement with sports matt you're not one of those i guess i'm definitely not one of those but you're proud of it too you know i take you know some pleasure in not knowing i'm too much about a variety of sporting activities someplace becca pleasure yeah how proud that is on i don't know what's happening with that team the green and white and with the oddly shaped ball man there's there's there's there's a pri- being that goes back and forth and they like bounces did i lose weight but somebody said about nothing obsessed by he's definitely not obsessed by it you know things like the super bowl i will watch that for the commercials souls of course because i mean there's some other stuff that goes on between the commercials off may or may not be interesting originally born and raised in philly i may fairweather fairweather philly's fan and eagles fan so when the eagles are playing the saints in the playoff game oh last year i don't know who any of the players were and you can bet that i was rooting for the eagles but i gotta tell you that is a no no you're pointing at me and i'm quoting you as we know we share a brain we know what's happening out jet hurts that's right because your your wife is more racist sports fan yes physically a new orleans saints oh yes so how does that work when when the eagles play i am allowed to wear eagle shirt but every other sunday monday unduly played another thursdays they're just there you go pretty soon i'll the b. i have a variety of saints paraphernalia right that that you are ordered to wear obligated mandate is that is that part of the the unmanned what i did i noticed that the double anton very nice so so i know in a lot of dads come home from work they get amid they get the ball maybe the football and they throw it around with their kids you're a scientist so what do you do do you take like a model of a molecule and you throw it to your kid and say can you can you tell me the total atomic weight on this bottle work no but what i was saying come on we get adema laugh up that way that's a high point so i'll use myself i would say that yes you know sometimes we do you know throw the ball round around in the backyard or kick the ball around or play catch with the dog more often than not or fetch with the dark knight catch he really can't hold him it but you now what has some interesting conversations over dinner like not what did you do in school to their what did you ask the teacher or that particular topic of the science class or the math class or even what did you english literature class or whatever whatever it may before fascinating is that the the lack of sports right passionately have but i do know that you've done a lot with athletes in some of the science you've done absolutely so i think it's a really interesting economy you have these really famous athletes that walking in your area so exactly so you know we leave i work at a little known orthopedist hospital on the upper east side of manhattan it's only the hospital the people from all over the world goto yes it's it's a little known hospital and so we have a a lot of famous people come in both of you know who do sports and stage and screen and also the local the local athletes also people who aren't athletes as well and the people that i work with always get a kick out of the fact that i don't know who these people are so my the go-to store is that my office used to be by our our conference room that often doubled as a VIP changing room before they come into to get their mind they don't wanna be bothered out of the general waiting room because that's been known to happen sometimes so i walk past the change room and when i see a really large guy and i guess his spouse and possibly a smaller guy who i take the agent or maybe the team representative so i went over to the admin assistant and i said hey vivian who's who's the guy and she said it's whoever an i'm i'm not telling you because i don't violate hitler one i genuinely compliance yes i genuinely don't know the guy's name and i said who's that and he's a met and i said what's she gave me this crazy love i'd 'cause i'm thinking cancer or whatever yes and she's like you know the new york mets i'm like oh okay but we've had some some pretty famous athletes come in and and and they want when they walk past to get into the MRI scanner you know the staff is like hey look who it is it's you know they can't really say anything you know if if they're not examining them we're not gonna get this guy subscription to like sports illustrated the betterment of your job might might be important to know these triple hypothetically eli manning in the hallway you know who he was why do i manning is because he like my wife grew up in new orleans actually do each other young kid but the other things that by not knowing them also unbiased myself from if i see they're kind if the if if if they're images come across my desk is part of research study i will not buy us myself into say oh well you know this is what commitment to what a commitment to the craft that unbiased sure the idol think about who that person is that might somehow with ethics it could be the session but to get back to your question but we also do a lot of research studies involving a collegiate athlete and yes some of the questions that we have to ask our it's large collaborative groups doing this research and we have to administer surveys like committee you know are the exercises that you're doing how much training or you're doing like in the weight room on the court was recently unease exactly and we're doing a new study and a lot of these things i generally had no idea about specific to basketball or a little bit more about swimming at this point but but we actually have have somebody in the research lab she has a background in athletic training so she acts translator in some regards between the athletes athletes at myself is the sign language translations english bringing pictures all spoken languages knows it's also spoken language and so we were able to do that so we have more than enough people who know more about the various sports who can help fill in the blanks as needed this is i think it's so fast eh interest worked with and really help these athletes out i mean yeah we do some really neat stuff some really important work in terms of that allow them to understand their needs their bodies not just to make the perform better but also how make them last longer that exactly it doesn't just you know younger individuals with their knees but it could be you know young athletes it could be also kids who have issues with the growth the plates in their their bones so if they have some sort of traumatic injury they could have a bone that just doesn't grow or grows at a weird angle we have older individuals total joint replacements and we need to see the soft tissues around their joint replacement so we we really apply i do research and we apply it to you know young in kids all the way up to older older people with the joint replacements 'cause i'm real quick to because i'm thinking about you as a kid i want to go up to be a ball player no baseball basketball you want to grow up and be what probably macgyver you are and exactly exactly so i mean and my parents both were healthcare professionals my dad became a doctor of osteopathy actually he graduated waited with an undergrad in pharmacy and he later went on to med school he would have preferred the MD route but back in the day he had already air quote chosen his profession so the MD schools would not let him any when did ended up going to philadelphia college of osteopathic medicine my mom was the third child of an immigrant family and she went to nursing school in philly albert einstein nursing school which is now closed so i already had that you know medical fairly business you're assuming there wasn't really a family business per se but my grandfather himself my dad's father was is a pharmacist as well so we had a bit of that going on but i always enjoy doing things with my hands building things take more taking things apart i'm trying to get the trying to get them back together usually unsuccessfully and so for me once i saw all these tv TV shows on PBS because there was no cable back then there was just TV on the airwaves teen channel thirteen channels you would watch PBS nova and maybe scientific american on on PBS and so i saw show where they were displaying an engineering class up at MIT where the students were given a box of hardware wear with years and electricity and they had to build a robot to accomplish a particular task and competition and this was before laptop he sees as this was before your own our dino's yards we know that if you can't say that very well off you're you're saying with a speech impediment yeah twelve hundred so can you just define what that is i'll tell you say ninety eight percent of our listeners oh no to number two heath kit is of course the guts six expected heath kit please donnas cartoon so so basically what you can do is that you can go nuking these prefabricated circuit boards they will include and they will put an as part of a kit or will give resistors and microprocessors you can put it all together yourself to the microprocessor and you can steve jobs in a garage yes will now now they make these these kids that you can order for fifteen thirty bucks or fifty bucks online and you can build a microphone her computer or o'clock or whatever it will shoplifted at you i still have oh my fingers forget shop did you win a lot of science fairs i actually did compete in science fairs middle school i think i did three years i got in my age group i got like second place the first year i place the next year the third year i was actually disqualified i'm by the i i i think it's like the junior science the pennsylvania junior scientists competition because i violated one i now know as human subjects research search there was a bit of sister was an awfully dr rubin was a bit of an unauthorized authorized blood draw for a study that was doing to evaluate the effects of morning cereal on a blood sugar oh i can already very tell you so well it turns out that there is an issue with not surprisingly oversight by the teacher who was supposed br be providing appropriate oversight but but i had i did the study i had my three panel cardboard thing set up and i got to think the the presentation was sinus college in pennsylvania i got their head people came over and said sorry you're disqualified so oh i understand this correctly actually drew blood from somebody at the time i did not draw blood as a certified individual license nurse all right ah i also known as mom he drew blood and it was the standard method of you have a lancet to the the to the job you squeeze the drop of blood onto a little sugar tester strip let it sit for thirty seconds match it up to the color on the side to determine talk to me a exactly so it's not like we're cutting fingers off or anything i didn't know you could take blood from the ear lobe house yeah MS thing too many i mean this was a number of years ago before you know the the fingerprint pinprick fingers so and you walk in they queued did you and how'd you handle it i was not happy did you turn over tables you can choose you as i'm known to flip someone's volcano i turned big green angry there is there is a few number of tears here's a collect call yes because there were no cellphones and you're by yourself then we'll yeah yeah because all the kids got on the bus to good or scientology it wasn't a parent drop off and have to remember this is this is like being removed from a travel whatever it is this is the state championship tournament well and again because you're you know they can translate this is this is like the only chance so there was a bit of hell to pay when i got home between the school system the science advisor and and i ended up switching school but everything worked everything worked out and you still became a doctor i still became an engineer paged aged engineering didn't turn you off and i think it's so funny about this story randy is you know we hear about so many stories of you know little little janey didn't make the cheerleading eighteen yeah so mom calls the guidance department says little JD didn't make the team and then two days later she's on the cheer team or she goes to another school where she can be on the cheerleading yes yes so just goes to show you it's not just sports sports across the union arena where you compete yes you know you wanna get a fair fair shake right and and this was this really looking back on it now really was a fa i did the work and it was the issue of oversight it wasn't it it wasn't you it wasn't it wasn't an issue of promoting lackluster material search authentic it wasn't anything and went the other way right so it was from top down damned them all the teacher that was looking the other way she should have been a little aware but but i harbor no ill awaiting slide your feelings for you wrong now you're in a high school championships science engineer could've been engineer it's near mobile i went on and became an engineer i don't know what your kids are they into science as well they ah taken on the mantle they've they've taken on the mantle they have more diverse interests you know like like most kids so but we'll tell you now on tv and youtube they're far more signs outlets for them to explore them we ever had but they enjoy watching how it's made on the science channel there's a show called extreme engineering that my son likes watching and you know there are so so many there are so many channels of the house may other things yeah and you know also about math is while the interesting things about math so so they enjoy watching those videos and of course we do you know the science thing experiments at home either something that we find on youtube or just something like hey look cooking in something in the kitchen and will explore something that well that's the beauty of science and now that people are more aware of it seems to permeate every walk of life so we watch a lot of the food network at work under these baking shows worse cooks and the chefs have to talk about the science of food in order to make sure that nobody loses an eyebrow right and the kitchen and and i would say that you know if you've seen it on food network alton brown usa show and he was cooking but like seventy percent of it was actually the science of why it is that he's making actually comes out the way that it does away tastes the way that it does so you know our house are basically a little section of the house we can only we do sports stuff attic saw yeah like your basement do you have a laboratory we don't have a laboratory i do not have an area where you draw blood i did not know we do not that's absurd just under work really send over blood out corruption service yeah exactly but i do have a little bit of a of a workshop nothing terribly serious but like i mentioned before about the the kids so we've ordered some of those online and we introduce the kids to the soldering iron even though there are much easier methods now where you can click stuff together or you know just snap them together it took a little bit for the kids to properly to learn how to properly hold the soldering iron after getting burned a few times you figure out what it is a good age put a soldering iron in a kids hand you can never start too early but i know how in this conversation we're having with her with that today soldering iron thought and do they have welding masks as well like you need the gods some burs no bunsen burners but you know we just let you can do a lot with just screwdrivers offers and drills centrifuges no centrifuges lines i know gas line that all the things from science the big second the family dog no we're not expecting we would love to come home alive for awhile long to hide absolutely everything you know about science for him to say to say that a mexican out of the remembered even that much yeah that's pretty good yeah i'd probably read a few text books explain say build something so we'll get some wood and you know we'll buy some juice them sign we'll do something to be vice vice i heard vice in those two that's right like vica tin but a vice because it's gotta you gotta okay great halloween costumes yeah really he he made and i think it was you was not it was it was you right tells also transform so basically my son who was then eight now nine he wanted a halloween costume he wants to be a transformer and i said i don't know he's ready to go back to my urban dictionary or a transformer right so so so we're watching some videos on youtube we know joining some google searches like i wanna be optimus prime and i might well let me explore how to actually make optimists not just any transformer the the the tragedy of the transformer lots although so so there were a couple of youtube videos where some parents made out of cardboard optimus prime transforming homemade transforming a halloween costumes and i said i think that we could do that so took took some measurements off the video took some measurements off my son did some stuff in the computer aided design software just the scale everything up you know the saying measure twice cut once i prime measured like one hundred and seventy five times cut ninety seven hundred a lot of a lot cardboard we finished a project before that we had enough on hand and finishing at the last minute so a lot of cardboard a lot of hot glow put it all together and a lot of painting that was actually longer than just put everything together and then finished it the day before for halloween so he enjoyed it and it got a lot of oozing is used that video and maybe posted on our yes ask any hippo in the truth is we cannot compete with dead like that to know archie wants to be a baseball player i mean they got the metro she got the go you're done there's going he's measuring twenty seven times cutting and fourteen times going back he's using hot glue guns online it's sunny that's a complete differently but but i'd say good to have a dad like that who can do stuff oh yeah you know makes us look pretty balanced people that your dentist week we but but don't but please please don't like extrapolate that to actually do stuff around the house because whenever i touch in the house it just goes downhill pretty quickly so this particular kickoff project that we saw the videos on youtube and i'm sure we could probably figure out how to do that that was enough but i wanna try to replacing wax ring in a toilet did not go so well really and to cut to the you know to to cut to the end of the story result initially i resolved the issue there is some leakage judge and it was thought to be related to the the wax ring between the toilet and the drain and i took the toilet by the way toilets are very heavy water water out of the toilet completely that i took care i saw i watched a lot of videos on youtube check my black and decker home repair block and took the toilet off and end the wax ring was not only was it just there and intact it actually had dust on it so now wish that it was never so i put another other one on a double that up on whichever the other one which i read was oh you can i put this yes and and it still wasn't touching so then your your toilet to hydrofluoric exact old plumbing so what did i do yeah i took a third ring before engineer engineer because this is sunday night and we need that bathroom week and now and then when i put it on the toilet was hovering of the ground jeff and so you hovers told the new it's hard it's hard to describe your listening audience but i basically straddled the toilet in the reverse direction reverse verse cow dog exit exactly my knees were under my knees run through the tank and i'm kinda like just hopping down on the seat trying to slam it down onto the jumping up a doubts about exactly resolved the issue there was no more leakage problem a year later yes the toilet dot clogged and regular or plunging would not take we had to call the plumber did he make a call no you didn't make it can make fun of me he he gave you know we got a call work hey mister cough just want to let you know i took a look at the toilet i tried to a snake and it didn't work i had to take the toilet off and i don't know what idiot you had fix your toilet but you know it's like i had to scrape scrape off three rings so i'm like i don't know who came over before but we've had here with the house was how so what happened it's wished me the whole tire i there was something else downstream there was something else downstream that that the backed it up but he had to he had to take the twelve so i don't do anything around the house of these projects the transformer halloween costume stuff i do and build at work mark yeah i do not touch anything in the image on the line yeah when you go in the bathroom i'm just trying to join rings and i i can certainly attest because i've replaced many many toilet myself that these toilets sir because their ceramic most of them yeah not easy to move around here very is another material making twit probably because huzzah strength i mean strengthen and probably about you know all different kinds of toilet exactly that's a conversation in other words yeah you bring the best out of me so this is obviously a show about some of the great things that you do with your kids for kids worse some of your favorite things that you like to do with your kids oh jeez i would say of course build a variety of projects in the in the basement they have gone them interested in photography sawyer also that dad in terms of the photography that's one of my hobbies so when we go on vacation or we're around town having take pictures of stuff you know and either one of them last let me grab the camera and say not a problem just please put around your necks let's hope doesn't it doesn't drop but they are really enjoyed taking pictures from my mom i really liked i learned and and really liked to cook so they'll help me in the kitchen which is as we talked about before its own science experiment the hypothesis is eight you're on make something something edible for dinner the null hypothesis or the alternative the alternative hypothesis is you're going to order pizza yes so you get all these rebound on the fact that ed yeah exactly there's there's a plan b and the hypothesis doesn't work out then peace isn't true you got a backup plan you gotta backup no levy says plenty of places to choose plenty of places in the actually i think you're right now new jersey relate to that and i understand out of your family there's some exciting build up going on with your family in terms of your wife sasha what's it like in terms of being a dad and what she's going through she's running for the board i bet she is running for the board of ed and there you are supporting what's it like being you know up with being the candidates future the future first spouse over the border fed while well now you know just being a board of ed member you are a representative of the community bringing out what the community wants their the education of their children to be we like and working with the other members aboard event and the superintendent of schools to define the mission of the school so i'm just the spouse of the person who's running for all right i take some pictures and then it's a big commitment though yeah involve thing i mean she seems pretty quiet and soft spoken so i don't think i've i've worked with sasha the reason why we do work together is because i admire her activism and her her her being very vocal and very committing being sarcastic i was trying to some uh no no there were there were some there was some topics going on in thomas related to the school district last year that she felt that it was necessary to new voice her concerns and she became very active in the community and excuse me started going to the school board of ed and meetings interacting with the board of ed members interacting with a variety of people in town and she's is actually currently now the director of the olmec livingston municipal alliance committee which is a bit of an umbrella organization where one of the topics is drug and alcohol education the youth as well as some other other important topics in town so it just seemed to be a natural actual progression of sorts where running for the board of ed made sense because he'd really liked to continue giving her time to the educational occasional academic and well-being development of the kids in town what are your kids think of her running for the board of ed they are very proud of her they would prefer firm to have a couple more nights at home for her bedtime but they're but they're but they're happy and you know i think it gives a good had an example of a community service do is so there's that firsthand we coach coach randy and adam de the third person could sounds better when i say it that way are very proud of sasha she is someone who following the most recent election sixteen we we all figured out what are you knew what you can do can we do not only did she say certain things and she kind of put it all together that she really is someone who you know what i'm going to make a difference i'm going to jump in with both feet getting fall she's running she's very articulate he's an incredible credible person we're very proud of her proud of you and the support and we only wish to the best of the election and i'm all he had louison but by rise i'd be all you want to see what she could do with three wax rx ins the toilet or not so we like to wrap up our interview with our gas s with a segment called dad vice okay all right and dad vice is exactly what you probably would construe out of that okay what advice would you have or do you have or do you have free of of any ilk raising raising kids in the environment that we're raising them in either made you successful or that you're experimenting with well i guess the level of success is still determined yet the process you know but i think that you should you should do there's something with your kids that is unique and that they will always remember as something that they did with their dad or their mom or their parents that really no other you know maybe it's something that other families do but perfectly something that other families don't do you know for example i'm some and it could be i don't know maybe a special trip somewhere that most families don't go to maybe it's something not as extravagant like every year around around the jewish holiday of forum i may come in touch with the kids it's something that i do and the kids look forward to it and we do we do different flavors i always do the cherry or i always do the poppy but each year the kids make suggestions about what flavor is they wanna make sometimes they're good like natella always always not a good flavor in the pineapple filling but we tried it they'll oh beat is not good he they'll be oh ooh we'll see for yourself ooh that's a good i see yourself it's a runny cheese though i guess not now the project think about it you run it by the crew run up by the cops recipes relatively sweet so so maybe we need something that salty go along with that we sweep bizzare before oh yeah so do we do things like that and then you know just you know internal family jokes where you just recall particular story or somebody said something funny and it could have been even you know years ago that nobody outside your family would even have any idea of what you're talking about and even if you told them they'd be like why is that even funny but but it's something they share tribal is tribal exactly and so it you know even with my own siblings who are forty four years plus we joked about stupid things things you know it is just what you exactly exile about the memories exactly genius well here's an engineer i after i did my the topic for today yeah so matt thanks so much for this was awesome i know i learned a lot i don't know if i'm smarter by sitting near you and hearing what you're welcome you're more than welcome come over and we can we can do a soldering board together any any time and you can bring your kids and they can burn without your cool yeah i'm looking forward that i thought you were going to say we're going to do a new segment where you are called bring your favorite podcast to work because i don't think that has ever been introduced a i'm not sure how well an imaging research would translate to an audio said not at all not at all surprise we'll see we'll make our own microphone as dr matt suggest matt thanks again thank you thank you we are bad it had to the dad download us wherever you find podcasts to the dead with coach randy and adam de the in the den we had dr mccall and that was a lot of fun with some of these guests i don't know what angle we're gonna take or where the conversations go go but dr matt was was just good fun it's great you know we were just talking about love dr matt his wife sasha's kids we've had the pleasure of enjoy some of the jewish holidays with them and what's really funny is that you know we go back to our high school years and because i was volley sports our paths probably would never have crossed and it's such a shame because as adults we have our head shoulders and we can appreciate i hope that the for dads out there have kids leads the cost of the coolest people in the world they are and it is just i would say that if i was a kid he's the kind of person i want to hang out with because he's someone who fixes stuff stuff and do my science definitely have found of but really is nothing about sports which is also going to be like are you kidding me about sports but i think when you think about the synergy between a friendship like that i could appreciate sites and a whole different way and we would have a nice little synergy just like it as an adult she's just fantastic guests again at MD another great guests and there's so much we didn't talk about with dr matt so couple years ago we did the avon breast this cancer walk in newark so yeah that's right so it's thirty nine mile walk through manhattan and brooklyn and it's a great way to see the city but it has a long on walk so i had the pleasure of having mad as my partner and what's great about having mad as a walking partner on thirty nine point one mile journey is is that he has no nonsense he doesn't dawdle he says okay i have a system here at the rest stops get your banana and go after go potty it has to be under ninety thirty seconds is all right for lunch just grab your food sit down momentarily off we go got to get to the wade scientific left rates so so i mean this was more of a like a running marathon for me than a walk and they do take some great vacations you talked about you know taking his family on nice vacations they were just in the canadian rockies ocoee is with some of these gorgeous lakes you go on facebook you have the foam oh yeah when you see the trips that they go on but you also think that inspires me many got a trip like that with with my family great guests lot of fun looks beyond that house when the the new orleans saints are playing and now because we know is an avid knowledge yeah saints fan and kind of centered and say what do you need a nickel nickel defense how do you know about this offer they've been married to me for x. number of years but i guess doesn't really care about sasha has volumes about what defensive package the same should be playing and and you know i think there's something to be said about not being an obsessive sports fans 'cause your blood pressure probably lower better get a little more enterpise regardless it's attracting no question no question and next week like i say we keep it going we have another guest that is of great value people listen to this one listen this when please yeah so we're gonna we're gonna have greg on the show and greg by trade he's he's an accountant he's a finance guy but he is the dad of a young girl named jolie who who unfortunately underwent leukemia and kimia treatments over the last couple of years thank goodness she is fine now she is in remission of course you have to go back for all of the two right he does he does have spencer spencer is a great kid as well but greg is always been a fan of boxing and MMA and kickboxing and those kinds of sports so he is actually gonna go into the ring and box another guy for charity an awareness for leukaemia research at all i can't wait to hear a story here stimulated story reading we interview him his still be in training the fight is not until november interview him and

nobel prize randy adam de korea dr matt koff scientist lisa becky berman dr john deere forty five minutes thirteen year forty minute ten minutes one day seventy five eighty degree ninety thirty seconds ninety eight percent twelve thirteen year forty-five minutes
2020 Dad-a-Palooza: FATHERS DAY SPECIAL

Bad To The Dad

1:24:30 hr | 8 months ago

2020 Dad-a-Palooza: FATHERS DAY SPECIAL

"If. You're the kind of Dad who's piano, Matt and wants to rock and roll all night and party every day, but your kids think you're living on a prayer then. This is the podcast for you. We are bad to the DAD podcast celebrating suburban dad life right here on father's Day were doing it through music. This data, Palooza or musical celebration for DADS happy Father's Day to you, and for all of our listeners in France and we know you're out there because there's fourteen thousand of you at WHO's fit. The pair at WHO's at the pair. That's how you say it in French so bienvenue welcome to our French friends, I think we covered two of our major continents. Here wall of our listeners are my name is Adam. D I think if you're GONNA have a podcast and it's going to be about DAD's. You've got to have this guy coach. Randy but he's already taken, so get your own coach. Randy it's been a bit of an off season. A bit of a busy off season over thrilled to be back here doing our father's Day music celebration. How Ya doing I of D. It's always nice to be the you know that the we love Adam De. We Love Bad dad in. It's like being on a roller coaster. You know a everyone on kingdom before. Oh Yeah right there. I remember the anticipation of being on kingdom, Dukan watching people on it. Maybe get in. And at such back at legis throws you forward as fast as you can. Now if you're not careful like me I, close my eyes right and so it sounds like a quick ride. I opened my eyes when I thought was the right it was done. No, no, no, no, my friend, then. No, it was at the top. Watch it all coming back down, so I, like I've been on King Takover for like. About three months and I just opened my eyes like right after Mother's Day episode It's just been like all Health Brokos I. Think King Dakota for those of you who don't know. This is a roller coaster at great adventure in New Jersey Jackson. New Jersey for me the scariest part kingdom. Is Looking at the Guy Operating the ride. Just sort of you know kind of dealing with covert nineteen. I WanNa who's coming towards me. Are they wearing a mask? Look educated enough to be able to operate with some semblance. some social grace in this in this wacky time that we're living in. Yeah. I get it. I get the metaphor and I. Think you're. You're spot on my friend so happy Father's Day out of D. Happy Thought Assayed coach. Hopefully you've got some fun stuff plan. Other than listening to this wonderful celebration through music of Dad's father's Day's always one of my favorite days, especially that the first half hour where the gifts purchased at the school store. I'M GONNA. Get that this year collection I'm sure, but they don't. They didn't have the school store this year because we were all closed while there's this thing called Amazon, and yet it's enough and you know my expectations are are at this level and pretty high level of my Hebrew. It's above my actually it's I. It's I mean speaking of which I've noticed the growth. I. Think you're going back to you with those not quite as long as I. Remember seeing you in high school I. Think it's something to be proud of. You mean the super bad haircut yeah. Yes. My lovely wife Michelle God bless her she. was volunteered to come my hair because it was just. Too, crazy I figure. If I can tell her hair, she can cut mine, and it's only hair grows back in a heartbeat, so I thought she did a reasonably good job. That said I'm looking forward to June twenty second. When this on hair calorie opened up again because you know it's. Only symmetrical. kind of girl, but just the male version you know what I think is great with people cannot see is the talent that Michelle expressed demonstrates when she puts the a d. a. m. and a little space in. D- in the back of your head, so people know that you are then the Real Adam de. Yes, I just told her. Please draw the line at Mike Gang Colors Don't carbon. My gang colors the back of the neck. Yes, he's are very heavy and wild times coach remember the last time we left off. You said you were seeing some movies. Hope Elliot's. Yes we We just finished watching A. Guardians of the galaxy to. The second one, okay, so we are We have been movies left the next movie. Is Altron at the age. Yes age of Altron and then it's a captain America. Spider Man so we're we're moving along. It's It's fun. I gotTa Tell You love it. I I going back. These really are sensational movies. It's what's not to love I mean Marvel's printing money. They know how to do it. They know how to suck in and you know what the best part is. Eleven movies you got two and a half months I. Before what we think might be we'll. Be School. You know what I love is how they have these little. You know. Stanley has these little sporadic cameos and all these different movies. It's A. Sad now, of course, knowing that he passed, but the he just comes into these moments that it's just just genius the jeans and I love about Marvel, and of course. I, WANNA. Give a shout to my friend and our course bad the dead commentator in a big fan of ours A. Christie as He he you know He. He posted on his facebook. About what more movies are really about? You know it's it's about what we're talking about. Is this society in terms of immigration in terms of differences in terms of race in terms of whatever you're talking about power overpower. A everything that we are experiencing related directly to. a marvel movie, and if you don't get marvel movies, and what they're all about, don't get what's going on in this country now. That was the Stanley Way. Every Superhero had to be flawed yeah. Right there were going through all the same nonsense that we were going through bullying. Relationship problems have. You know whatever was going on a socially in our times. That'd be race whether that be the economy whether that be aliens invading. From outer space. You know so, that's my and how about you I'm correct? You have been busy doing your own. You're I. Think you're not certified podcast now. Is that Zenit? Certify -able podcast is definitely definitely the case so with the social media was at the your. Flight. This yet. That nets. That's really fascinating because they're. Like a whole profession that twitter created around marketing and making money twitter, so I recommend. If you're all board, you're looking for a new skill and you're like social media do twitter flight school. It's as easy as twitter flight school dot Com. They're not sponsoring us. They haven't given me any money. Learning quite a bit odd did a comedy show for the World Central Age was raise money raised about twenty seven hundred bucks, so thank you all. If you're bad to the dad listener and you tuned in to that zoom, slash facebook live program. It was a lot of fun. We're thinking about maybe doing it again at the end of June, so please visit the Adam de Chandler facebook page as well as bad to the DAD, and you'll get some more information about some newsstand upsets with that group of very charitable comedians was really just a joy working with everybody. And then like you. Watching some movies Kinda going back into the archives educating my son Aden about those films from the eighties, so to in particular that we saw recently one was teen Wolf. The original with Michael J. Fox Michael, J. Fox you. You have to remember. This was nineteen five. This was the peak of Michael. J. Fox's career is still running hard with family ties as Alex Keaton. And, he had just. Off The wave back to the future the original future. Team. Which of course is about a teenager coming of age driving, it's based on a true story from not mistaken. Young, boy, who discovers that he is aware, will finish today family genes. So. We realized watching this. At least Michelle and I grew up in that era. How ridiculous film this was! But watching it with my son, he was more concerned about the basketball related discrepancies, then the concept of a teenage boy becoming a Wolfman even. Though, my son's like well. You know the the character. Scott Walks into that championship game. Late so the Games already started, he comes late. He says I'm not going to do this. Teen Wolf I'm going to do this. A Scott. The Games already started, but then the next scene, which is a montage of course. Starts with a jump ball is like well if they already started the game, why are they doing a jump ball? Just because he walked into the room, I had nothing I'm like you're absolutely right. Literally basketball fans did not do not write this night when he shoots. Those two free throws in the very last scene, and by the way, this is not a spoiler alert. The film's been out since nineteen eighty five, so if you haven't seen by now I'm sorry. I deserve to spoil absolutely. Why did they allow the bully from the other team to stand in the baseline underneath the WHO shouldn't that be a technical foul? Wow hitting. You're absolutely right. Isn't a things that. If we cared deeply enough, we'd write a letter. Yes, the other film we watch recently with short circuit you short circuit. Guide hive is alive. Was? The think the theme song theme song will like really big at the time. The theme I can't remember the the song that went but the theme song was like a huge hit. in the eighties. Yes I, don't I. Don't recall Fan, but I think you're right. I think you know that's that's how a lot of musicians make money. They make awful soundtracks I. Mean I always believed that if? If the wasn't rocky fills with survivor. BE A bad. Yes, yes, that kind of thing. Yes, the short circuit first of all you know I like Allie sheeting, but her acting was not top of the line. Not till not not until the breakfast club Breakfast Club, and had Steve Gutenberg. Who of course has not even the Police Academy films? I wanted more of him. Yes, you're is the. And it's almost laughable but sad. Because of what's going on in the world right now. You had fisher Stevens. Playing the Indian scientists and basically hoisting up every stereotype about Indian people. He ethics the accent he was. MISSA interpreting and miss saying American colloquialisms and he was going Nama stain I'm a stay the whole time, so if you wanted to have like a white stereotype of Indian people. You got it there in the Fisher Stevens character. Short, circuit so. We've come a long way. We actually have really good Indian actors now. Playing Indian roles yeah. Let's funny your as you talk about movies, we have also shown the girls some other older movies and we have found that we found to be interesting, engaging and funny. Our kids do not. They just don't yeah. What was funny. Then in what was considered that that was really good, I walked into the theater and I felt that just confused I I can't remember which movie it was. It was it was a movie. The jets and I've watched and at some point about a half hour and I think Michaela goes. A what point that's supposed to get funny dead. Ted's excellent adventure so whatever it was. Rains World I got the savings. What. I understand. At what point does get funny so It's funny, but it's quality movie night, family, movie night and We've been lucky with the cutter. Actually real with we saw we show the kids just mercy just because it was very timely. And the kids, but movie nights, and they spend a Lotta time on their laptops, but we're trying to get through as best as we can. Help you get through as best as it can? We've got a whole music program has, but before we get into our lineup of musicians. Talk about our beloved sponsor coach Randy A of course, this is becky. Berman of Berman Dot Com Berman. As Computer Consultants Berman C S, Dot Com becky Berman for all your graphic design and web site needs. Have, you seen the latest graphic that she did for us with Bone Dazzling Kitty nut. How can you not folks out there? That is Becky Berman at her best I mean we've gone from season one to season two to three fingers to guitar. We've gotten the the hat for the holiday season. She's she's genius. Becky Berman slogan should be nothing is impossible. Nothing nothing. She turned around in a heartbeat. Hey, world, so on social media at bad to the DAD. That's our handle for most of our social media platforms including Instagram facebook twitter. Of course we have our website bad to the dad dot com, so give us a visit checkout past. Past episodes pictures of our past guest when we're actually in the Dan, which is where coach Randy is sitting now I'm in the cave, which is my basement recording studio? We all have to do our own thing, and and make it happen in these wacky and wild corona virus times we also have a media partner in that as tap into dot net that's tap into dot net for the best local news written for the people by the people. If you live in north, Jersey or in Newark, state or Florida, go to the drop down. You'll probably find it community that is yours or at least nearby to yours and check out. All of the latest news that's tap into dot net now let's talk tunes and some of the folks that are going to be performing right here Kalija data pollution coach Data Palooza. For this hurting Nice lineup begun great light. Hey, great work as always getting all these guests getting are talented fathers and dad's for the show. Thank you so much for your effort in I'm excited wants you to our guests. We listen to hear a little bit. One of my favorite recording artists that we're going to have on. Is Somebody that I learned about my kids were young kids, and that is Mr Array. Jersey guy and he has been. Recording Children's music for what we say. Nineteen, ninety, nine, hundred, a hundred, yeah. MISSUS! The better part of two or three decades now, and he just keeps getting better and better, and he's always recording tunes that are right for our times, but don't go over the heads of young kids, so we've got a performance for Mister Ray. Roth, who is fifteen years old? He is our biggest fan who is not a dad. Performing a song from his Pocono Pennsylvania bunker. That's where that family has retreated during covid nineteen, so he and his Dad Ben. Do a song for us. the HEFF is back Randy hefner from season one. Yes, are you playing? God? He'll be back playing. The UKULELE IS GONNA. Give us an instrumental, so that's going to be more fun than it's legal to have Harry Cardis a friend of ours who we didn't even know as a musician we do. he was just teeing up tunes on on facebook. You wrote A. Virus a song about his wife for the random. A song about gets mother-in-law who. Perhaps we'll hear that I. Don't know Carl, brister nobody classier than crawl brister. Of course he's the organizer of the love and unity fast. He's GonNa get a little bit more creative about that and the composer and performer of L. O. V. E.. We heard LV was premiered. Here live here. During Season Three's GonNa do it again. He's going to give us a live performance. We might hear his father's Day. Song called Daddy's Angel as well who knows and lots of other surprises here on data Palooza. We are the podcast that celebrates suburban dad life and we're celebrating dad on father's Day through music. This is data Palooza. It's bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam, De hey, listeners make sure that you listen throughout the entire broadcast, especially the last segment because we're going to give you some information as to how you can partner with bad to the dad through advertising. Yes, you can be an advertiser on the fastest growing earliest one of the fastest growing dad based podcasts in all of humanity, and I think the pricing maven surprise. Out of D Oh Man I'm I'm going to shock people to their core without inexpensive. Notice how I didn't say cheap inexpensive are advertising deals will be, and you get. The podcast mentions or the over mentioned. As well as the Social Media Tien So. That's what we do here for our listeners and our partners on to the debt. Coach. A, record center on the program today today's third visit to the show. Any other guests. It's Jason Johnny Internet A. G A. Hello I as you guys told me your huge France and I don't speak French so I'm not really sure what I'm GonNa do Paul you. Have you played in France. I just I just got back actually like like three months ago from con-. Yeah got to see where they do the the film festival. Two little little dippy in the Mediterranean and now. Is was there a speedo involved the listeners? Yeah, but I've worked backwards, which is really weird. I love the visual I love the visual nothing to the imagination. Take pictures. No, thank God for all of us right. Jason left last left off. You were homebound like us. You're offering virtual lessons. I gotTa, tell Ya I been on your facebook page. Riotous you doing the Hanna, barbera drumming to. The flintstones! Scenes even got dressed up for I'm sure your wife was not in the room at the time on his probably. Trying to change your last name just so she wouldn't be affiliated with you. But. Have you been keeping your so busy in the same way? Just we're going on new stuff and yeah. Yeah, I I. Have you know, will we? When we first started talking when the quarantine head it was? kind of I think we all were in the same boat. It's just like you don't. How long is this going to last? What's her work going to be like going to be able to stay in this on on? Online and I look I don't think any of us are making the same kind of money that we were making when when normalcy was happening but I've been able to. Keep very busy and says day myself really well and I think I mentioned the last time. We were. How can play you guys? Yeah, this is really the last time we. Spoke I was talking about how I had put a bunch of. Microphones, you know like I really set a built a studio for myself. A couple years back, and it's really got to the point where I'm really officially recording from home now so before this little podcast. You're talking about a song that I was play. Guys and I just realized that I just cut a song with the lead singer of candlebox Martin. and. You. Just popped in my head. Hey, now and yeah. 'cause I was going throughout the songs that I had done recently, one was eight minutes long, and what was five minutes long, and then I had to sort of dig back in the in the library or place. By just got the mix of it. Like two days ago and it's like the debut of the song so good timing so again. We're going to hear. It here has been new songs smell to. It smells like a new song and a new car and the new. So you'RE GONNA. Hear for the first time. I don't even know. To play yet, but I'M GONNA. Give it to you, guys, so that's all right. We don't have permission to really be doing a podcast and yet we're fifty three episodes congratulate. Don't tell you yes. This is a first timer I love. This happens addy. It is such a a wonderful joy to be able to podcasts original first time music from such talent as Jason Johnny. Thank you. We hear this amazing to the lead singer canucks box, and of course international recording star sensation Jason, Johnny? What are the plans for father's Day? This is after all the father's Day show. Not a whole lot in that I think it's just going to be the parents coming over my wife's parents have a house down in Ventnor exelon city. So they're gonNA. Go visit their house down there for the weekend. And my sister Lisa who knows very well they will be headed out towns long island, her husband's house to his their parents, so I think he's going to be my folks just kind of. Be Grilling. Kind of thing avoiding some thunderstorms. I don't think. It's nice down there. They got a great subject called Dino's read the. US and we will sell advertising for. You gotTa Sit Dino's. Dino's in Margate is just amazing. They make out the best outside of Philly, they make like the best. Hands Down has. I love how we're like so over the quarantine. Ask You? What are you doing this weekend and we're going at a state. We're going fifty miles here. It's like enough enough of this at home grabbed. Can Change the senior I'm still I'm still doing home thing I'm still. I'm still got some hangups about this, so you know I have a feeling billion about three or four weeks after these protests on crap. That's been going on. We're GONNA WE'RE GONNA have some other news unfortunately, but let's say. I think you're right Jason John Edrich back with him at behind John that one. I'm right behind you. Put them in a box and zoom like more like above you, but you're saying so. Let's continue to stay home and flatten the curb and mask where we can Jason. Again t up the song and get her tee up the performance and tell us a little bit about what we're about to hear so My I was in a band in San, Francisco for ten years resigned to thirty third. Street records which tower records. Record. Label Bama's called. and. We had a couple of singles on the radio and It's been around for a while still even after I left, but we got a little unfortunate departure, and I moved back to the east coast. But I have kept in touch with my leads to hurt dawn and Don Mix has written this song He has toured with the guys from candlebox over the last couple of years, different projects counter boxes, silvery activist, sounding great and Don wrote. Anti Gun song and it's a I'm not really sure all the details about the song. It hasn't officially be released like I said. But it features me on drums. Kevin Martin from candlebox on the vocals of lead. Don, did some stuff on the track and I'm trying to remember the fourth musician and I. I don't remember who it is, but it's somebody on and say it's like. Somebody like that plays with John, Mayer or something like that, but it's good sort of like an all star band from about different different things like you're and I am a big fan of Martin I. Think he's a wonderful singer, so it's an honor, a flame with him on this and it's really great song to really what's a call? In your hands is yes in your hand so I take that out and play for us all right. We're about to hear in your hands. Jason, Johnny and other assorted members of of other bands right here on bad to the death. design. May, undefined. Ken. Fast. And Change. In. Stay! An. Ev. From? Tonight. We. Back. owned. Data Palooza, our music special in honor of Dad and Fathers Day. We hope you're having a great father's Day and we hope you're enjoying this program. It coach, you probably remember season two. There was a father daughter duo. Was Riley and Riley Han and Matt haunt I think it I think it tucked up to be one of our top shows. It was definitely one of my favorite shows, and you're Riley's friend of my daughter's. We got to learn a little bit more about Madha. A daddy is a great many things including play music with his daughter, and they blew us away with their version of shallow. Yes, star is born. They had aired previously on Youtube and facebook and got like a million something hits. Go Get. Yeah I! Know I think. Because they played over your honored to have them in at that. When people are actually meeting in the dating, yeah, what do you tells me? Stop teasing me already. What are you talking about? Love to tease coach, but We have a special performance specifically for this podcast bad to the dead podcast of Riley and her dad. Matt performing the fleetwood Mac hit. Landslide right here on bed to the dead I, am Matt. I'm Riley everyone of the bad to the DAD podcast harassing the clay on this father's Day celebration. happy father's Day. Dad's. Demands? On us. CARB. Issue Oh. See. Well! Father's Day. We're back to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de you're listening to data Palooza. This is our musical celebration of DADS on our day father's Day. They remember can always contact us. You got an email of course you do. US! Dot Com. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. You have a guest idea for season four. You've gotTA question. Ask US questions will be happy not only to read your email, but possibly answer it sometime in season for. Coach probably remember season one. We had a dude on who spent his lift. living lifting jugs of water and I know you excited about jugs coach, but he was also love jogging. I know you do never stops. It was also pretty damn good Ukulele player, and we even did a little name that tune with him and he is going. Yeah you remember that. Yeah, it was it was. It was a fun time I? Remember I look back on it fondly. It's appointed. Or we're really happy to have the half back with us on our Fathers Day musical celebration Heff Houria. Good, are you? I'm remember correctly. Remember correctly coaches very six eight on the jug. Thought about jugs. Still I haven't thought about jugs. It. It's not was at the time I mean it's just. The switch that goes off. Though so tell us. How is. How is life for a A water delivery guy in these wacky uncertain and challenging times. Was in the beginning, it was it was pretty intense I. mean people run into ores? Just clearing the shelves. it was. It was pretty intense in the beginning there now it's kind of a back to normal. Weren't a mask stinks. I I hate it. I hate wearing a mask working. It's horrible, but he looks good in a mask, I gotta tell you about where Bass. He wears them as well. Heff. Did you ever Burp in your mask and then smell? Are Sure sneezed in. Oh, yeah. Ever Logan and And forget that as long as. You ever been in a Turkish prison with. airplay good job. I knew I, know out of rain surges. I hate wearing a mask. Out The one downfall, grow man naked. F You like it when the dog now we're. We're not going to go there so RA. Randy hefner I can't help but notice that you've got the Ukulele back for your next appearance, so you have a little tune prepared for our data. PALOOZA program here I did I'M GONNA. Do in. Honor of my daughter, Abby. She's a billy Irish Fan. Learn a little billie eyelash tune you familiar. Are you familiar with? Yes and what's what's her thing? Is it bad guy? On barrier friends. You know Barry Friend. Well that sounds just as loving and enjoyable as bad a thing song when you bury your friend, right? Vanessa of you won't even know success since you don't know it sounds like. It's it's pretty. It's pretty dark. Tune actually well I'm so glad that you've chosen that for our celebration of dares. But in honor of your daughter and honor my daughter. Really dark and sick, twisted segment, but We've got the half. And when you have the half's, but I love you, I love you. I love you. All right have those years rock on? The. It We are bad to with coach Randy. And Adam Dr, Father's Day special celebrating DADS with music. It's our father's Day jam and remember bad to. The DAD is sponsored by Berman Branding Becky Berman Berman CIS DOT COM. That's Berman's. Getting services. Dot Com coach. Randy, it's all about marketing. Right websites graphic design. We've been pretty happy with what she's done for us. Absolute disaster this work for me my own company, so I'm a big Fan. I'm a doer. I. A user absolutely and Becky is very happy that you're using her services, and you will find a more talented marketing person again. Graphic design website design. She's got it all figured out speaking of a person who's got it all figured out. We've got a dad on WHO's musically inclined. His name is Harry Cardis, a friend from our community and Harry were so happy to have gone bad to the data. While, others, there's Day Music Special Lope. Aria we are doing great. I was you've been in covert nineteen? If you've been making the best of it, yeah, it's actually It's been there. There's been several lying's in the in the dark cloud, actually just in terms of. Getting together with family more often via zoom. Probably see more than than I would ordinarily. Actually you know from a work standpoint, a lot more productive in that note note we're not commuting in and out of the city, which is upwards of two three hours a day, so can use that time work productively, so it's all in all it's. It's it's not bad good. How are you know the saying you think you know a guy? And we've known each other for a little while now and you know the thing about social media? It's amazing because it's sort of uncorked talents that your followers never knew you had about I'd say a month maybe month and a half ago when Kobe was really at its peak. You performed an acoustic tune about your experiences your observations in Cova I. Think we're going to hear that a little later on right right? Yeah, I'll. I'll play that I am. I kinda just is is a hobby dabbled in songwriting. It would be It would be without really aspire to do, but I think it's probably not going to happen at this point But. A man can drink. Man can only dream that's it. And perform. I mean it was really only a dream that I would have would be on this podcast here. I am so. There you go, which is why you become throats, Randy Gibbs, dream for coach, Randy, and me, and then and then we woke up and yet we're still here. Doing the PODCAST, so it's as they say if you will it. It is no dream. It's true. I concur I concur. Dad's of course no, your kids were a little older, but you know being that his quarantine times, and now we're. We're huddled up a little bit more. Would you like to do with your family with your kids? Quarantine non quarantine. You know things are normal. What's what is fun looked like as a family with Cardis, well, we. Actually have three jets grown at a? Thirty three year old, who actually lives in Jersey City married My daughter is the youngest she lives in the city normally, but she moved, they moved in and she and her boyfriend moved in with us, back in March, so in that time we actually moved to a new house. We moved from north. Call well to West Orange. They moved with us in. They are still with us, and I had a third son in. LA? Out So. Again we get together quite often on zone. At yesterday, this weekend was my life's birthday. and My Son From Jersey. City and his wife came out, so we social distanced on the deck yesterday at dinner and. It's A. It's not been so bad. But. Just getting together at every opportunity again. That's really what we try to do. Awesome happy birthday astor had birthday to esther. Thank you actually put a little song out yesterday I. Don't do that a lot. You know you referenced the Covid Nineteen. Song I did do that. Is kind of the moment was ripe for it in a? So I. put it out there and I did it. Put a little Arroyo esther. Little Song that we're GonNa we anniversary later this month, also thirty fifth wedding anniversary so. At wrote a song and that out the other day, too, so I'm. I'm really branching out. Sense metality such a sentimental guy had no no idea the the love that comes from your heart through music. That is your. What is your Muse Nitin actually. I didn't realize that either. My News, you know most of the writing I do is is is very personal. It comes from you know. Kids or family or Actually have an older sister. Who Lives in, Israel she She uses medicinal marijuana. For for headaches, and actually I think the headaches are gone, but she's still using it as a preventative. Preventative solution never let doesn't headaches coming back Nancy twist arm either no, you want to give her a medicine that she can. She got? She inspired a song called. Grandma is a pocket. So you know you never know where GonNa. That's what I'd like to hear. We're GONNA. have to bring you back. Played we can play that one, too. was making that. That's good stick. Good Stick Anyway Yeah Harry is of course a show about Dad's when we have first time. Dad's on. We'd like to do a segment called dad vice where our guests provide advice, other dads who might be listening and he kernels of wisdom from you that you could share with other dads of any age in stage across the board. Wow that's. I should have gotten some warning on this one any advice. That's why we don't give you warning because we wanted to be spontaneous and thought of the heart or any other any bodily organ that you would like this information to come from. Just communicate you know you stay in touch. not know what's going on. You know again. You know when when they're. They're typically not on their allies us at my daughter's here now. A unique situation but When they're not around, you know you want to. Just stay in touch, show we. We make a point to try to speak at least weekly. And You know just catch up in the end Keep your fingers on the pulse. That's that's I guess what I would say. Very, lovely very Levin. A man with many years of being dad's. Yes, that's great dad vice. Got Some great hair to show for that, too. Yeah I'm catching up to you. Will you let more than? Know I know that's so what? What's my problem, right? Harry WanNa hear your musical stylings, and I think you're. You'RE GONNA play. That I'm I'm? I'm probably messing up the title, but that owed to to covid nineteen. That was the first tune that I stumbled upon on Facebook, and of course Once you've finished performing. We're in a lead our audience to where they can find some year performances, but Let's let's hear that that Cova tune if that's what you'd like to play for us, okay. I am. Was Out actually this was sort of a inspired one day I was out riding a bike, and it was sort of at the outset when people were really settling in and whatnot. Now is a pretty day Kinda like the day. and. I was just amazed. There were so many people out on street. People were social distancing. But you know I thought to myself if we were not in this situation. They wouldn't have been anywhere near the number of people out just walking in in the yard, playing with the kids. That sort of thing so got home that day and it's sort of inspired this song called. Ballad of Code Nineteen? It's not mate. You scream and shout people stay. Instead, go. would. Only be witnessing. Thing. They're calling social distancing. Round as far as I can see. All caught up in the sense added. On the other side, we'll all be better just wait. On Not by side inlet cool clean-air. Practic- so many. Live. Up Announced Street. And in their yard, they were careful actor. Let down their guard was one thing. The young Laura saw that. Family together for a child's birthday. Shared a smile and wave me as asked on. You don't have to. do be able to see a lot of people forming next year rule league. They're all live at thanking so selflessly. So we can rest. Assured did weaken all scar-free. When we're in Dr They. Channel lied on you. When you feel, you're sinking into the abyss, you can look around and find. There's beauty in this doesn't matter it. Sunny stormy weather. All that matters is that we're all in this together years of body. Hoping we might embrace product would jusoh in someone else's. New winner will be. Old. You. Don't happen. To be able to see. Performing actually room. They get their all with thinking so selflessly. So we can rest assured that we can have all. Every When we're in the dark, they shiny line on you. When we're in the dark nation, light on you. Were Bad to the dad with coach, Randy and Adam De. We really hope you're enjoying our musical spectacular in honor of Dad Data Palooza a musical celebration of Dad's first time. We've ever done kind of a concert. He type of program here concert type of special of we're glad you. The listener are a part of it. You'RE GONNA WANNA stay to the very end. Of this bad to the DAD special as pledge said, the very was, it was sun was so sudden. She's been. She's been sick for weeks. The very which he actually died was very sudden, so were applying that same fletch methodology to the podcast. You WanNa. Wait to the very end of our our program here because coach. We've got a another special bonus song from Harry. Cars are bad to the dead with coach. Randy and Adam de this is our musical celebration of DADS are dad jam fest. Fest remember you can see pictures of this. As well as all of our other guests over other shenanigans on social media at add to the dad that has are handled for pretty much all of our social media platforms, and of course we have a website because any enterprise worth its name has a website or is simply add to the dead dot com. That's bad to the DAD DOT com. Coach we have all kinds of listeners every every stage, every gender, every kind of lifestyle lost today. We've got a special treat on the segment of our Fathers Day jam session. We have our youngest biggest fan who is not a Dad, and that is Warren Roth who has joined by his Dad Ben Roth, and they're coming to I, believe from from Pennsylvania where they've been hiding out from from the corona virus, war and Ben. How are you and welcome to bad? Father's Day. Thank you house morning. It is going great. It's going great and it is really really good to have this. This is a musical program musical. Celebration of Dads and you have repaired attuned i. what are we going to hear from him? I don't care by Ed Sheeran and I just destined Bieber. Very ambitious. We're looking forward to hearing. That tuned from Warren and Ben Roth right here on the bad to the dad musical celebration, it is our dads jam session. Take it away fellas. Madam Party I don't WanNa be out. Now never wear soon tie. Wondering if I could see the. Stories, even looking to. Take my hand magic insane shall we dance. Today. Make a better life. Is powered. Everyone's got so much, she say. I always. Come through! And anywhere. Off Adding. MAKING NEED! Maybe I am. With the bad. COP, yeah! Long, as you just search me, are you can take? Wear wear. Me Like unload lesson. With the bad. With my baby. We don't want. To talk a week and cells. Rather Gates! People all around. With. All. That's where I'm supposed. You know what kind of crazy 'cause I really don't mind. You make a better life. His. Her. When we walked in I said. Now I think we should stay. With my baby. Bad things disappear. Off. With the bad. When I'm with my Baby A. Don't care. You just. You. And me knock on. I can deal. With baby. Nobody about you I hey, everyone here. I don't like nobody, but you may be yeah Mazot. With. Bad. took. I can deal with the bad. With my baby. I don't. Long! The anywhere anemic. By. With armor. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de and you are listening to data Palooza our musical celebration of DADS on Father's day and remember you can email us questions. You can even email us guest suggestions by sending us an email to contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. Coach. I think you'd agree that everything. We learned about what we needed to. In Life, we got from Chevy Chase and Mel Brooks films. Would you agree with that without a doubt, maybe Bill Murray. He he's a diff-, Chevy Chase and Mel Brooks are God's. He's a dummy got yeah all right I getting. You're probably just referring stripes just got off with that one in their Ma Ma my kids, who went to the J. C.. C. Nursery school everything they needed to know about life. They learn from songs like led Elephant Kalian the alien. When it came to kindness when they needed to learn about all the colors in the rainbow, they learned it from boy named Roy G Biv. And all of these songs came from the creative mind of children's Rockstar Ray Anderson better known to audiences as Mr Ray Ray, thank you so much for being on band of the dead and our musical celebrating Dad's a low JEN's. Thank you for having me well welcome. Nice intro. Thank you. That's very heartwarming. Thank you super. Have you super to hat on? You gotta tune that. You're going to be playing for us. So, what are we going to be hearing? It's called first father's Day I wrote it about probably a year and a half after I became a dad. And you know just it's just A. It's a celebration. A right of passage of song and my daughter's fifteen now she she starts. Assange goes I of you Yati, and you know just to hear that now just to have that Sonic Tom time capsule. At the beginning. Record for the beat starts on my ash, in in fact, when I was preparing for this I was thinking you hadn't heard it in a while and put it on and. Gallo Misty, listening to her on. That to US yeah right. All right Mr Ed. This is first father's day on bed to the dead MIC is yours I'll via gaggy. Seem like Outta nowhere. It happened one day or a clown the next day Oh. Man. Be Foreign Laugh after expect all the things that you never and. I'm looking for A. Not Some, Standi I know you've been down this road and your fan you. Know it's my first bothers did. It's Math I. They. Won't you lack you gone to battle? You'll never do things you use to. But. She doesn't take away my passions. She adds a new color every thing. But look in for a hand. Grab Manson some stem. Loop. Loose ruled and you found you. Good, it's my first others tae. It's Ma first father's. Won a no would was getting. To. Know. We did one hundred offense that had it. But who really does. Who Do? So now Canfora. Clap. natsume stem. Loop. Been Down this road and your fun and you. Through, it's my first. Stay. Ma Spa stays. My I. Did. We are bad to the dad with coach, Randy and Adam De, and you're listening to was special recorded segment. Or our father's Day addition it's our father's Day jam session using music. Celebrate dads around the world to. Coach. You'd probably agree if you're GONNA have a father's Day jam session began do it without one of our season three guests, and that is and be Gospel recording artists. Or. BRISTER Welcome back good to see a partner. Coming back. At the happy father's Day, first of all, yeah, thank you man! Thank you same to you got thank you. So Carla GonNa, tell Ya last night we had you on. It was a couple months ago and you were releasing your new single L O V. Yeah and you had position L. O. V. as exactly what we needed at this time. But at that time covert was really the only thing that was stealing headlines. Now, you know Karl what they say about hindsight. We think that perhaps L. E. was released. Two months too early, and have you been giving that? A lot of thought given current events. Now No, We still need. Yeah love never. Goes out of style on this. Is. Is. Is a solution in every situation. You know and. I don't know how. I don't know how. To feel about it, you know I. I know that the world is always needed more low. But. It's definitely every. In this moment right now. So is must song is here. At this time. I'm deceiving more grateful that could apply to those who are dealing with Kobe nineteen, and now the whole world was. We're feeling the effects of what happened. was happening throughout this news, so let's let's kick things off with elevate. Her commenced. Got The! Maybe you can help them rather. Hyun I. Why can't we to slab turn. Your honesty, Can We, I'm we figure this loving? Thue. Knowing. One thing. How well! We need. No Discrimination No Miss Education. Across the nation and politician making. ovoid of came. Came? What you're on this? ooh! Gun violence legislation. Look. No. In? Thanks for Doing L. O. V. E. AGAIN FOR US in my life I've. Gone on bad to the DAD. You still enjoy performing that over and over and over again. The days horrible. Today, is heart okay when I wrote, the song are voted. By than there's a line in night was inspired by buying. A Memento soon is an I re. Embedded no more. And when I wrote that line. Never thought that. It would apply. Directly to another. As an American male at the hands of police officers saying I can't. This is is the first time I've done it since George Slower. Almost high. Yeah so that's interesting. You know not that we're trying to blow smoke up own podcast here, Randy but L. O. V. premiered. Yes I'm bad to the dad during Ovid and now. On this. Version has different kind of emotional. Thank you Carl. Carl! Thanks for making US auto for this. Wonderful Song would it gets to call you have another song is really spot on for Father's Day's Skull Daddy's Angel. Can you tell us a limit a little bit about it before you start playing? Yeah Daddy's angel. Is Song released of years ago on my my album funded defeated and it's been. Going strong on spotify. Every says in. A week before my youngest son Jordan was born. And so my oldest was already. A year. So it was impossible to both of them, so they're actually by the time recorded on it. and it was the first song that Jordan Bird. Coming home from the hospital. So I was just like nervous. My wife was having. Braxton Hicks. Yes, you know fake labor, but real labor real labor. We're not GONNA catch. Good Catch Carly! You did there. I was nervous man. I was nervous. At this. Crawl myself down I went to the keyboard I started playing and the next thing i. now have a song. That's out. Tell it happened at. Absolutely. Love to hear Daddy's angels, so call brister bed to the dead. S. CETERA. A? Who? To See Mar.. Link. You. A. Man's. We are bad to the debt. Hey, thanks for listening to data Palooza, our father's Day Music Celebration WanNa, thank all of our musical guests putting the time to rehearse putting in the time with us, so we could record all those performances in interviews. This was one of the most fun episodes I realized it. Required more sweat equity produce, but it was just so much fun listening all those different genres of music, and realizing how talented people in our community and people in the Brotherhood bad to the dad actually are so super nice. It was nice to reconnect with some of our old favorite. Guests and then. A. Couple of surprises in there. Couple of couple talented so. I gotTA. Tell you as we say couple my Jewish community muzzle top. Mazal Tov. I think I want to have a muzzle. Tov cocktail right now I think. Got GotTa be five o'clock somewhere. It's father's Day. Why not right absolute no rules? It's our day you know. Make sure that you enjoy the day dads and pair of course in France. Hey, listen if you have an idea for season, four and and coach season for is coming up whether just idea or a subject, or if you have a question for your head to the Dan hosts, the email is contact us at. Dot Com coach. You want to repeat that please. I'd appreciate doing so. Thank you for asking. That is contact us at bad. The Dad Dot com that is contact us at bad of the DAD DOT com. Coach of another special offer for his especially our listeners who might have a business, small business or otherwise we are opening up the doors to advertising on the bad to the DAD podcast. The rates start as low as are you ready for this I can't wait to hear it. Adam I mean who would not want to engage are growing market. Fifteen dollars per episode fifteen dollars like I'm giving advertising away. You're giving stuff away. I mean fifteen dollars you thought. I was generous with that. Hold on, because this is an introductory offer. We're GONNA. Do Fifteen dollars for your first two episodes so Amir. Will get you two episodes advertising not just on the podcast on all of our social media accounts. So you're you'RE A to. We're a two for family here. We're to preserve you know what I'm doing on extending the value to you I can't tell you. That is unbelievably generous. Fifteen dollars two episodes I mean. How can you not want to take advantage of such a a great deal as a sponsor of bad look at Becky brand at Bourbon dot? com for all your graphic design, a website needs and how Brittany's been with what she's done for us and listen to how many times we say. BECKY BURMA BURMA'S DOT COM. That could be you that could be your business and again you'll get the parallel advertising social media so. Rummage through those couch cushions get fifteen dollars change then molest money or send us and Jank and we'll be happy to not just promote you, but over Promo- you. There's no such thing as over solicitation unless you're in a certain kind of rancid business that we don't WanNa talk about. At of democratic. Thank you for doing that work. I'm proud of I'm glad that we're able to do the special so folks again. Thank you for listening season for we always try to top ourselves better than ever gassed. New Subject matter will still have the entertainment gas. It's coming up. Would you say right around Labor? Day, usually usually Kinda put our heads together at a lot of bourbon and a lot of alcohol ob, ex. and we usually start off right around there, which is the end of August to? Off for for Labor Day so I'm looking forward to that time to well, we promised just special treats special musical. Treat from Harry Cardis here it is. That's the end of our program. We hope you enjoyed it. Dad's listeners have a great summer. We'll see in the fall. It all started. With a headache! May Grandma ooh. It hindered all activities. All the pond she had. She went looking for a remedy. saw an interesting sign. Said smoking some weed, his the answering the that'll make that aikman nine. Now Grandma? Is Not Hidden. Yes! We know it's true. Yours whatever rails her. And keeps her from feeling blue. You can smoke it or ingested. Matter Much, shadow. All the matters as say at the end of the day is that she's out avenue ball. Will it use to be hard to find, but not so anymore? You can have your doctor prescribe it. And you can buy at a pot store. The selection is overwhelming. Many options from which to choose. Matter which one they all get it done and it's a lot more fun. We'll now grandma. Is Hot hand. Yes! We know it's true. You whatever ails earn? And keeps her from Lynn Balloon. She can smoke getting or ingested. It does matter much at. All that matters as say at the end of the day is she's out. Now here's. For the children they consider. Copying of buzz. Just remember grandma tells you. Would grandma. Is after all this plant is medicine. It's not to be abused. But when all said and he's just having fun. And People Saul. Grandma is. and. Yes No, it's true. Viewers whatever rails her. And keeps her from the Lynn Blue. Can smoke it or ingested. Doesn't matter much of. All that matters, ask say at the end of the day is edge. He's out on atom bomb. All that matters asked say at the end of the day is ed. She's out having bald.

DADS Randy facebook DAD Dad Harry Cardis Adam De US France Adam Michelle God Becky Berman Randy hefner Harry Wan New Jersey Jason twitter Matt
Season 4, Episode 3  UnDadneiable

Bad To The Dad

46:47 min | 5 months ago

Season 4, Episode 3 UnDadneiable

"If you're the kind of dad who celebrates all the little things in life especially being able to put together I ki- bookcase without any leftover parts. Then this is the podcast for you. And I've been known to put together a few floggings in my time. We are the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de yes. Indeed. One of the fastest growing dad theme podcasts in all of humanity along with coach Randy. My name is Adam d you the listener were so so thankful that you have decided to join us for season four. Number. Three number three undeniable Unidad niable. Yes. Area to work with the syllables there a little bit but we made it happen clever. Yeah. It's undeniable because our guest today is undoubted niable and his name is jared route you know coach. We always talk about a hard parenting is especially how hard mom ing is right we always say mom has been number one toughest job went of his job in all the land right then it's coal miner guy washes the very bridge first responders army you know military etcetera and so on and data somewhere in the five hundred zero. Lucky if we're lucky but I'd say any parent especially this day and age any parent who has a special needs child Okay Special Place in heaven on a pedestal. So, jared, tell us about his experiences with his son Zachary who has a very rare degenerative condition called usher one F-. I don't know if you've ever heard of usher one F Sandra have not since we talked about last week and not had the updated go on and Google. Sure one F-. Fortunately, we have jared father of usher one F- child. He's going to tell us all about and it just so happens that September nineteenth so This weekend pass it is actually usher one F- Awareness Day and you're gonNA see links and our social media you'll see links. Post launch of how you can get information about our show. And also donate. So that's jared route and he's coming up in just a bit. You also undeniable coach. Let me think this her first name. Rhyme with Heke. I thought you say Schmucky but yes, it's Becky Birmingham Birmingham and branding. Is Becky Bourbon Bourbon C S, dot, com, Berman, dot, com, you get all of your graphic design. Web Page and other social media strategy. Nothing schmucky about about becky she is is super town when it comes to all your marketing needs and check her out on social media. All of her handles are at Berman branding. You may actually learn something about marketing hey, we're on social media coach. Again, our handles are pretty much Ever. Boys have handles girls have none. Oh, did you said boys have handles girls have sandals now doesn't work quite work this okay. Well are handle for most of our social media platforms is at bad to the DAD and our website is bad to the dead dot com. Again, we're still running that special promotion fifteen bucks gets you advertising for your small medium or large sized business for two episodes, and that includes splash aromas on social media. Yes. Indeed as well as of course, just over promoting you here on the podcast. Bad to the dad again, one of the fastest growing dad theme Punch Pass in the world's fastest dad the. Because I've done my podcast search. Yeah, I have. So now I can say with clarity and conference because you know what I keep saying this but I really have no data to support I just like saying I until we're proved. Until some other dad podcasts comes round and claims that their number one I'm saying we're the fastest growing. We're number one well, definitely the fastest growing in France and mayor lay pair a false. To, have you with us to if you happen to be listening, you speak French. So, as you know, covert has been really good for Amazon, and it's really been really good for Netflix Amazon prime. Hbo Max any Hulu any any APP where you can Binge Watch and essentially while the way the hours watching other people create action. Why know that you had recently encouraged me to watch particular show on Hbo Max Class Action. Okay, so not only is this just an outrageous a documentary this week, but this brings back memories you have to remember that Action Park Yup is up in Sussex County New Jersey, which I call the last frontier in New Jersey and I guess I didn't realize it at the time when I went maybe once or twice as as A. As a youth. That, it really was the most dangerous theme park. In the world but apparently, you're like a badge of honor like everybody knew that what you're doing and that park was completely insane but you had to go the prove your value as a man. I remember being a little rowdy I remembered now watching the duck and it's all about hindsight that there was very little adult supervision except for the adults that took you to Action Park, there were no, they're not they're. mullets, moments us all talk try new rides. They used the entire staff all high school kids yes. In twenty-seven-year-old to test out new rights, the wild west of New Jersey quite literally and there's a few things I do remember I do remember those those slides where you're going down a steep incline and then going airborne or I don't remember doing that right but I, remember seeing that I do remember the Tarzan, swing? Yes. All right now I didn't I pull my pants down. were. So people pull their pants. Yes. Things but there was something unique about the water which you? That I remember. That I remember like a nightmare I i. remember the drop. Yeah. Okay. I, remember swinging with both hands for dear life. 'cause he was a bit of a Chubby kid and I wanted to make sure that gravity. Didn't take too much control because they could hold their weight would go on, go straight down. But I remember the drop being very long and remember when you're swinging swinging out. And then you land on that water? Yes and It's ice freaking poems cold and depending on your body weight and how fast you drops. You feel like you're never going to emerge. So I'm like I could actually. Be Kept in Homeo- stasis in this ice cold water, and then I remember indelibly I've ever they. They talk about their like water snakes inside there and it was like, yeah well, not in the Tarzan Pool. It was this bumper boats. Bumper. Boat Yeah. So that that I remember that they had. The person the ball in the ball also coach you know you love to watch me when I get to that fever pitch laugh I'm bleeding internally issued because something is so it's the kind of laugh where you can actually hear. Yes, it's. So. Deep in the life so hard because you're laughing so hard. Yes to my favorite Adam de laughs the ball, the man in the ball and the ball. So we never saw because it never got green hair because during its quote unquote tests Symbol Action Park did not do many pvc pipes and plastic ball is going to run down the hill in the summertime the summertime right when you're Inada ball inside of ball and so it's like you just roll in this ball down the hill in the tracks. Yeah. There was nothing really other than gravity and Centrifugal force to keep that ball on the heights but as explained in the documentary. He expands plastic. The whole track would come apart and during their few test runs, the ball actually pulled out. And just. Not. Like lual highway that runs right out, we're not talking about one with stop lights. This was a highway for our. To two lane highway and I have to imagine if you're in that ball and you don't feel yourself going down but you're making a left turn the horror you must have felt like you can't see anything where am I and now you're rolling down how highway probably hearing honking horns I washed it out of the and I I literally. Pete. In my past couple times I was laughing I had to rewind stuff just just to recall. Erred some of these rides and actually there was a guy that was on the documentary comedian. I think his name was Adam I can't remember. He sat there talking he looks really familiar of just and he was straight out. Just dropping bombs like it was the stupidest thing in the world and people would leave their with like marks all over their body and they get back to school the next day Oh. You're not yet heart attacks and park. It was like badges of honour dead. There's actually there's another right. Shut the beginning where they like a tube. Yeah. It's a loop de loop that big blue and what would happen. Is. You come flying to kept moving the tube higher and lower because they're trying to figure out whatever physics to it, but they didn't have any guys were physics engineers. They just read the people with slides and so here the right comes down to the loops up and because you would have substance difficult force can be up your body with slam against the top of the tube. and. You would come back out Roy a blood all over your face. And when they went to figure, it was going to open up the top of that that circle part. He's found teeth people are cutting themselves on the teeth I'm surprised more people didn't get stuck at the top of that too were teeth were you these slam did? Come out. T we're stuck and then people would cut themselves at someone else's deep I like this I thought more people would get stuck at the top of that because you need a whole on a forced to get up around us through that lose I guess. I'll see you in court the court was, but how did our parents how? Outed Phyllis coach. That's why I'm bringing this up. Go. Look. How did you go with your brother? I went with my brother once I have to ask him if I went with him, I knew I went with a youth group like what youth group would sponsor a trip like bring a bag lunch, bring a permission slip. We're going action parties and we're going to go altogether like a happy cheery youth group and then you get there and you see. People colliding into one another the guy remember going down that inflatable tube ride right? There's three or four folks. And then all the tubes would bunch job what if you got pushed to the side? You know you've got rubber tubes, jemmy. Chin while you're trying to dislodge yourself from that that elbow. That I remember say you gotTa hanging on for dear life so fun. Yeah. And then I. Guess there was a whole other side that was of water related. Yeah. There was a whole other kind of park that we just random things that they just kill the crazy buggies and. Go, Karts, which apparently the workers would take on the highway and. People just hanging out waiting for the bus. That was so funny was that they. Try and do rides if you work there. You're like they're Guinea pig. Yeah. That's just what you did. It was. Funny I don't understand how parents allowed their kid. To Go I don't think we realized how bad it was at the time I mean again, this was the era where you didn't wear a seatbelt in the front seat when you were seven years old, you didn't have air bags you know dangerous or defined differently. Yeah. Right, you would buy right and and you were expected to sort of fall off and have cuts and scrapes now beats off you got to roll around. Yeah. Rub some dirt in it and put some my side sit this was this was a place where you went. You Cross that threshold at Samat up. Under twelve birthday you into action part because you're mad. I might have been even before my and might have been before twelve years old I do remember. Perry in eight. Action Far NOPE. No. At least not with me closely supervising them you know again seeing it on screen unlike. How how the hell did this place pass inspection big but I didn't care. Yeah especially his at tons of money they came up with different ideas town was in their pocket they brought in revenue the town loved him until the town. Did it yeah and then eventually became a what mountain, Creek yes snow tubing skiing. So here's my recommendation. Go check it out because you won't believe it unless you see it it's outrageous. It's hilarious and towards the end it's tragic. You hear about people dying actually do one one case of guy who was was it on the go carts or one of. His head on the ride some had some child, some Sun die yeah. They took him to court he kept fighting and as a couple talked about they they called home. Today's the best day we've ever had because it got to put the park together tied they were celebrated or celebrating. Yeah. Hbo Max. It's old class action park. If you grew up in New, York New Jersey Pennsylvania, and you went action park, it'll bring back very weird memories and if you're not from this area, you're just going to watch the whole thing with your mouth wide open it. You think about today, I don't let my kid on a bike without a helmet. Lucky for a kid. Go anywhere by themselves. Own Stuff in the backyard. We don't let kids go to the park, ride their bikes. There's I. Don't know how survive without cell phones and how do we? How do we do I mean road trip you and I just went on road trips you went to. Colorado my girls sat in the car with air conditioning. Rates with air conditioning and a car that provided Wifi. So they could look at all their movies. Netflix's everything else. What was it like going on a road trip when you were growing up I had a Walkman yes and I listened to date you. Yeah I sat in the back seat mostly nauseous because I've worked my way through a bag, a mini milkyway's. If, I wanted air I rolled down the window. No No. Yeah. Push a button you actually had to. Either my. Parents repainted. Blue. Chevy Malibu or a we took the Oldsmobile Delta Ninety. Eight. Vote of car and nineteen. seventy-one Mercury comet. Okay. So the same yeah may made in America. Road Hog. Yes and I had cassette tapes. So I basically if even if I did a mixed tape which was an innovation back, then I was listening to the same fourteen songs over and over again and I had to make sure that the last song on site a had enough tape. Yup. Otherwise you don't want to end up now what do we do? Hey, Siri play drake yes, and then I see you know all of Drake's catalog comes. Again I don't know how survived our youth. Inasmuch that adults and they let us have kids. And were business look I don't let my kids go on the zoom without glasses. Jared rudas coming up. We are bad to the dead. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de remember if you'd like to reach out to us again, this is a two way interactive program. You can with goodell email the email is contact us at bad to the dead dot com coach. What is it again? It has contact us at bad of the dad dot combat is contact us at bad the dad. Dot Com and reach out and touch somebody well, at least reach out and touch randy I'm GonNa stay never feet away at least six feet. But if you have guessed idea if you have a question for one of us, if they are trying to push a product, you want to advertise with US via sponsor contact us fifteen dollars, two episodes at bed to the dead dot com. Coach. Our guest today is jared route. I've known jarred for a few years now from our community and he is you know we talked about parents being really special people but parents with special needs. Children are are super special and we put them on a a much much different pedestal. So jared is going to talk to us today about a probably I. Dare I say Jared Little Known Degenerative Syndrome called Usher One F.. Is Beautiful Beautiful Son Beautiful Fun as Beautiful Fund with beautiful son. Zachary. In of, usher one F and We certainly want to learn a little bit about Zachary, and of course, the whole route family but also usher one F. because September nineteenth, which we realize is the weekend passed when this podcast launches is usher one ups, Awareness Day. So first of all, jared, want to welcome you to bad to the Dan. Thanks for granted beyond. Thanks for being here. Yeah I am super excited about this I appreciate the opportunity guys having me on. And and and being able to speak about assure one F-. You know when you when you first introduced the new said come on the PODCAST. This is a great way for myself in for us to really. Get people some information don't know. Since it is a rare genetic disorder and again, you know if you're not in our community, you're not personal friends with us. You probably don't know what Usher Syndrome is. So I appreciate the opportunity. So let's start there. What is usher one F SINGER Usher Syndrome is basically the leading cause. Of inherited deaf blindness, which basically affects approximately four hundred thousand people worldwide Ours usher went. On type one. Is the most feared as you're born. With usher one year profoundly deaf. And you become blind resolutely through childhood in depending on the type, it could be younger or it could be in your late teens or a little bit older. As type one in two, pretty much account for ninety percent of those with this debilitating. COMBINATION DISABILITIES So, Zachary who was born. On April third two thousand. Twelve. was born deaf and Odyssey was a complete shock. To myself in. IN EMILY So you you kind of prepare yourself for or not prepare yourself at that time. What life is going to be where it's going to head. and. So that's kind of a glimpse into. What you're saying so you had no until he was born. Yeah so The. The interesting part of that is you do all these genetic testing. which my wife Rachel had done previously. And not. Anything that we had known before Usher Syndrome was not on the panel of. Of of the tests. So everything was cleared. Everything was was great. Until Zacharias born and he was born deaf which at that time you're kind of. And shock does a run in our family. So Know not genetic. So it is. So Usher Syndrome is actually is a genetic syndrome. So the two parents have to pass it down genetically. and. The percentages of two. Two people having the same syndrome is very rare. which is why was actually one of the rare. Genetic Syndromes. Out there. So. Yes. It is a genetic syndrome was passed now for myself and Rachel of any kind of go through. But before renew Abacha Syndrome, we had to deal with you know his dampness and then what the next steps were you don't to kind of make you know his life, the best life that could possibly be and as parents would those next steps were so If somebody hasn't heard of cochlear implants. Zachary at seven months seven months old you know coach Sports, and if you've seen the kid with. AIDS You know here he is are you can. You can still hear to a certain extent periods kind of elaborate the sound to your copay. But. When you're gaffe, the only option is cochlear implants and you have to have you know surgery to do that. So when he was seven months old we went into Nyu hospital and he was bilaterally planted with coke coakley implants. So, that that was kind of the first avenue is actually a miracle is if you if you see him now listen to him today. He's he's just like anybody else talks you know so well, off. You know imagine trying to drop a pan in your kids not. You know obviously can't hear the panic because he's You know what? What once he got layer plants you know. Your your first excitement is when he can hear a pan or you know he knows his name. So you can imagine the excitement that we had when that first happened and Joe. Does he speak? So, various speaks. So he was in bring much speech school You know right after you know they after coke implants and he was there for about two years at the summit speech school I give all the credit oil to them on giving us the the inroads to had a kind of deal with you know. Hopefully, you're planning hearing conversations we had. He speaks a years is actually you know at the grandview? School he's in third grade is he's in, he's in public school. with all of his other. Classmates. And that's all we wanted or you just want your kid to be in the normal normal school normal class like anybody else. Jared. What wanting. Him One thing I'm really curious about is an and you you've you've Kinda fast forward and told us about how you in Rachel? DEALT WITH USHER ONE FM Zachary from a technical standpoint but. In this'll probably be a really good teachable moment for parents who? May Go through this and you know here that initial. Words from a specialist doctor saying your kid has X.. Can you take us back to the day when you got the official diagnosis and what that meant for? Zachary's future. How did you both react and what emotions did you feel? That's a great question I, think there's Two step process or that you know answered that question one is be the initial reactions that he was dead in. The reaction or talking to other doctors who you know. Michigan three is different tasks kind of figure out. Whether. Was Really Dad for. You know he have water in his ears and it was there something else there that we didn't know. And it kind of gave us. Pamphlets and said how to take care of a deaf kid. You know without actual education or information that leader implants were actually out there. We had no idea that that existed. Right we didn't know anybody that was anybody anybody had Kogler blance If all the credit in the world to my wife who really researched and. Connected with the. Right, people. To figure Kogler, implants with the next steps. So that was the first reaction was okay. We know what we're dealing with the next snaps. There there seems to be a great late at the end of the tunnel for the depth this part of it. And we'll figure it out and then. I would say in two, thousand, fifteen, three years later. We wanted to do genetic testing figure out if this was any of the ellison when we found out that it was unsure syndrome. So. Then we had those kind of reactions. which was harder as you can imagine thinking that your son. You, know. is going to lose a good portion of his sight at some point. And then you know what you know. What's out there? What's WHO's doing research where the money we're the funding is coming from. Is there a cure? At this point unfortunately, there is no true cure out there. for Unsure Syndrome. And there's other foundations out there. That are are funded research doing all the. Connections with other families, which is great. but again, it goes back to. You Know Rachel really ill get researching and as soon as we soon as you put the feelers out there. We connected with the family in Boston. Elite most checkoff, actually run usher. and. Thankful thankful to them that they kind of gave us the you know the feeling of you know things are going to be. Okay. And here's what we're doing. So. We're we're we're on that path right now with the. You know were both Rachel both directors on you know the usher went up clamper ord. and since two thousand. Fifteen. You know we've raised over about over four million dollars and. We do we researched we increase the Amount of you know New Universities in the United States. and. You know we've gone you know got a whole whole board here. But that's kind of our. Our next step is is how many researches? We know we have a lot of research. On board right now with us that are just focused on us one F. In that's the most interesting part to us, is that ninety five percent of the funds that come in or rights research and it goes right towards finance your cell it's extremely important and our our foundation continues in thrives obviously continues to raise money itself. I have. Two questions if you don't mind I what kind of doctor. Do you go to for the situation isn't Just curious as an ophthalmologist is at the, you're not throat combination. So, it's really this is all for you know it's all based on you know an eye doctor. And you have to find some specialized field. It's the. The. Basis behind this is really retinitis Pigmentosa which I'm sure you've heard about you don't just wear your hear. You know within the is star to you know basically die and you kinda get more periphery A. Issue you know within the is so you know at this point when when you see Zachary. And you know the doctors that we've gone to. UP IN BOSTON, also in New York. Who are tracking his vision and doing you know visual casts whether he can see around him you know on topper below. We were joking today that you know we're GONNA start calling him clumsy. From the Spurs and he made it up himself. but it really fits his profile because you know if you put a stick, you know he's running you put it stick on field. You know he's not really seen that stick. And hold triple over it. Just because his periphery. From the middle down is is not so great as you you you and is would be. So the the quick follow up question to that. Is As a parents in I've got four Adams got to. Release the option to buy of course, and at least with the option to solve that. Right. But the we're all neurotic parents. We all we all we all fear scared raw concern for our kids and I'm curious. What is it? You know how did you get to the days had to get through the times and look at this in such a way where? You're able to to have such a positive. Outlook on life in your son and your family and just curious. What did he was? How do you do it? You know I could probably take some advice real. You know with four kids you gotTa have. You gotta be optimistic and positive about everything. You don't mind my interview with it is I. We we don't have a choice. You know you either could be positive on a day-to-day you can be. look at it on a negative side and say you know why US and? You know or Zachary Wise Zachary, which we'd go through when our heads you know a a lot. But you know we obviously. I'm hopeful on positive that what we're doing on a day to day with our foundation at. Home Continues the spike interest and continues to you don't find people that kind of. WanNa cure want us to succeed but as a dad I, think it's You know it's hard because I went as a kid growing up I grew up west caller. Why played a lot of sports? You know, I, was played tennis a played roller hockey played locking tennis throughout college. I I wanted that you know as you know having a son in one of the same thing for him those opportunities in sports as a social impact you know as a kid. And you know. When he was probably three years old, you put him in soccer programs. You know he he was. You know he was crying he was on my leg the whole time and you know I kept saying. You know. Is. Getting there for two minutes and just enjoy your time with your friends. You know but it took me a while to realize. That you know. What aspect of syndrome is a balanced issue because he could imagine when your have your equilibrium is off because of hearing shirt, he can't. You don't really walk in straight line I guess as he gets older drinking, it won't matter this. Battle just walk. Fine. He's already he's already passed that sell. Well. Maybe as a fundraiser jared, we should all have a drinking party we. Know we can. All feel as equals right we should put down and we should do a line on the ground in each try to walk the line and every couple of minutes or try to figure that out. Simulating usher one off. On Way Yeah. Exactly. So Bourbon Yeah. I liked that. So that was that that took be awhile. Kind of turn off my gears and say, okay, he's not he's not. Going to be into this Ford's. You know what you know. Obviously, you want your kids to be happy. So what else? What else is he gonNa like You know he's he's found those interests whether it's you don't pay the are. he's very creative and you know he he's you know we've got a garden of backyard that is all over in. You know does all that stuff so You. that. That's what makes him happy I think as a Dan is as no. I. Got Embrace. You know there are certain times where again. He wanted to be I think on a social aspect it's probably harder for him because you can imagine if there's can kids room at a birthday party, you know he has a hard time kind of following the lead and is not so aggressive. So he kind of lose that that aspect of you know keeping up with the kids but you know he does it with a smile so. SA-. Jared. Clearly you know knowing you for for a little while now and also trolling your facebook because that's where you get information about people. This has not stopped the entire route family. From, living life. So what are some of the things that you enjoy doing? As a family in spite of your son having usher one. Question. So you know. We. Still actually, we still go skiing we've actually were you know emily was fourteen. Rachel Skis I've been skiing the whole life. He's accurate in pushing him to seek his. You know it just gives them a little more strength in the legs and landed. On Skis Wow. Yeah. Do Imagine that. You would. You would think skiing would actually be really difficult because it was balanced but. Last year he went down agreed and I was just blown away was one of the best best moments need. What's at? Just. Really. Jared and coach we were just talking about action park in the first part of our show. So once you get on a device and you go downhill, you got no choice balance right? Right. Nobody takes over you're just going down on. The ball and the ball. Over. The highway. I've got I've got to watch that Yes, you is. Let us know what you think. Yeah. But. I. You know other other than that. You know we. Were we love the beach he loves the beat. he doesn't waterproof. Co Player plants you know. Thank. Later that he's on the beach and he's in water don't use thing. So. That keeps US busy another than at the garden in the walks around down. Obviously, we're not going anywhere. You know at the time. So you know we're we're pretty much outside in the garden takes us keeps us busy dizzying walks around the neighborhood agree itself. Very. Nice. There is a part of our show we get towards the end of our. visit as we asked DADS recall. Dad Vice. At advice for DADS hints. Dad Vice what kind of dad buys would you give out to our listeners? Just say, no, we get almost a thousand listers downloads a week. So a lot of people out there what kind of dad vice would you like to share with them? Agree question. The, biggest biggest advice I've again. You know it is to enjoy every every moment any every minute. You know that you can with your kid, don't take it for granted. You know. I, I've seen a couple of videos where your kids out field and you're yelling at the kid and you know the kids trying his best. You know they really are I mean you know that's what I've learned from. You know see my kids especially for Zachary AC- amount field. Feel. He really is doing his best have annoying might be pushing him as hard as I can. But. The. Best. The best advice I have is really enjoy the moment. Let them play you know give them all the credit world. As they're they're playing, you know as they get off the field. I try to do that even when he? You know reading a book radium look. For someone WHO's Visually, impaired in eat don't think about it is actually challenging and I know. Out At some points where visually he is in what part of the book is saying well or not well but just giving him, you know positive reinforcement. It's the only way to really. Improve their quality of life and their happiness and I think that's hard to do on a day to day right because we get so. Minded by just the the frustration rations distress daily life you forget saying yeah. That's great. Jared jared root. Of course, is our guest here on the Dad and as beautiful son Zachary has usher one F- syndrome jared tell us how we can not just learn about usher one. F. But maybe donate to research causes. Yes I appreciate that. So we have a great website it's www dot usher one f. dot org. You can go there click on the donate button that's it eases approach that we also You know between my wife and myself on facebook rose promoting and showing exactly what we're doing for sure syndrome. But again, sure syndrome awareness is September nineteenth. So there's going to be a lot of. Information down there between different nonprofits. And eventually, usher is going to be coming up with a you know a big initiative. To Push US THROUGH THE THRESHOLD So net. Our viewers of people that? Know exactly where what we need to where we need to be in. You know what the funny looks like it'll be do not a grassroots funding and that's always the hardest. We've got some great donors at their that with us. Last you know four to five years. But does initiative is going to be the first big push for us. and. We'll continue to promote. That probably the next couple of weeks, right so jared's usher one. In the number one not. Number usher the number one s dot org grant. So. It's usher one F. Dot org against nineteenth was usher one F- awareness. Day. Unfortunately this podcast drops just after the nineteenth, but that doesn't mean one F goes away. So as you're listening to the PODCAST, go back at some more research, please donate if you can jared route. Thank you so much for being on bad to the dad best of luck in all your endeavors with Zach and your entire family, and of course, trying to knock our show we really appreciate you being on the podcast today. And appreciate things around me on. This was great. We are bad to the dad download US wherever you find podcast spin. We're bed to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de the self proclaimed fastest-growing dad theme podcast in all of humanity and I think coach Randy has some data to support it. If you want to learn a little bit more about us, you can visit bad to the dad dot com or any one of our social media platforms were on facebook run instagram twitter when the mood strikes us and our handle on each of those at bad to the dad coach I want to thank jared route talking. A little bit about usher one F-. Syndrome. Again, if you'd like to find more information about usher, one F- Syndrome, which is a rare degenerative disease that jared son Zach has been undergoing but has endured has been doing a pretty good job deal with it. You can go to usher one eff- dot Org that's ushered the number one F. Dot. Org September nineteenth was usher one F- Awareness Day. It's not too late to donate certainly not too late to learn a little bit more about this rare degenerative syndrome. Interview. Other guests cannot fathom. As a dad is expecting parents. You know we have testing of juice communities tastes at. No so we tend for tastes acts. And you think you get ready in your child comes out all expecting ten fingers ten toes honey, Chand. Right now and it is It's got to be tough. I mean certainly you love your kid like like. My kids got stuff. They all got off. Got Stuff. Discover that the joy of being apparently this is your second child. And having an older sibling about they they know so much they've got involved in. Yet for that news coach for that news to hit. The Ski I I haven't been on skis yet and this kid with US usher one F as you know, what? Ten years old barely. He's on skis but. Received this kind of news either parent. Scott to be hard but I get it. I'm not. You know trying to be sexist I'm not trying to be stereotypical you're going to I'm going to be because it's our podcast and I can but I mean even her Jarrett, he was athletic all his life and I think when you're a dad and you're having a son having any kids. Yes either gender. You're dreaming throwing the ball in the backyard shooting hoops skating. These are the things that parents dream about because we want them to have the same experiences that we had. That's that's why I do softball never baseball's my thing Yup and now it's also going to be around the girls and I can play catfish. So with a kid like, Zacky, just have to make adjustments but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to live a diminish life so good on Jarod good on the route family was great hearing their story and learning a little bit about one of these. Rather. Under publicized singer never you know, I, guess you never you never necessarily think about it and having any kind of idea just kind of comes out of the blue. CELICAS wife Rachel's got again mom. Number one with a bullet. Ding Ding Ding. Yeah they've done so much credibility credible surprise. There's certain resiliency and humanity. Interesting together and finding similarities usher one, f. DOT ORG websites, and It was He was pretty. You can always tell interview when someone says back you that's a good question. We got three of those tonight I. Think he meant it I very sincere guy. We got three. That's a good question. I will tell you you got to I only got one, but we've got three. That's a good question. So as far as interview skills go I would sit down and say you have a little catching up to do to my good questions but. Already you're asking good questions. There it is. Okay. So coach next week next week, we're going to bring the funny. Now I promised in our promotions and our social media promotions of what's coming up the season we're going to have some comedians right have a handful of really really good comedians next week, Vishnu Vodka, Vishnu, Vodka Vishnu, vodka we. The A. K A BAKE VISHNU VODKA VISHNU. Drop Dead Funny Yes drop dead funding immigrant from India. So I can't wait to trade war stories he he came from India and emigrated to the US and built a very nice life for himself. He's got two kids I visited India on numerous occasions through works. So how'd you meet? How'd you meet have Vishnu so as you know last Thursday, I did another charity comedy show resume for World Central Kitchen. Terrific because we had comedians like Vishnu on who was hilarious and brings a very different perspective to Mike to the stage and I thought wow you after hearing about this guy, meeting this guy who I was actually introduced to the field off season one. One Rob knows a lot of COMEDIANS. So he helped recruit Vishnu and just stuff I said he make a great band to the dad guest and here we are maybe we can grow on popularity in India they have. I think about a billion people in that country. And they're all getting over Cova. Now, they're awake their live they're feeling good and they can listen to bad to the dead in that country. So you know maybe maybe they'll pass France. One day is a country with the most of the day listeners possibility with the guest like Vishnu Vodka, Vishnu Vodka on the next bad to the Dad DADS have a great week.

Jared jared root DAD Zachary Wise Zachary Usher Syndrome Action Park Randy Adam de facebook Rachel Hbo US Netflix Vishnu Vodka usher. jared father France Rachel Adams New Jersey
Season 3, Episode 4  The Dadding Game

Bad To The Dad

53:40 min | 1 year ago

Season 3, Episode 4 The Dadding Game

"I'll take podcast for five dollars. Answer if you're the kind of dad chances. Are you. Listen to this. Podcast which celebrates suburban dad life. What is bad to the dead core wrecked we are the podcast? That doesn't need celebrate suburban dad life. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy. And Adam de my partner is coach. Randy. It's great to be spending another Sunday morning. That's when we record with coach Randy. My Name Is Adam. D You the listener. Thanks so much for spending a little bit of time with US wherever you might be at home at the gym in your car or wherever you listen to podcasts. At the bar at the bar is well. I can only picture a bunch of Dad's just huddling around the bar like a simpsons right and I don't know what are doing. Whatever they do down down down this. This is going to be good. The podcast is on the down. So great great w with us This is our fourth episode season for. And we're rolling along here keeping the engine running or season for or she's three. Oh season three. I'm just totally not gonNA get must be the cold. Medicine must be going around right yes? Everyone's got it got a little something something but let's get back on track here. We've got a great show for you today. We're GONNA have Eric DEEPA Chato on Eric. Deeper Chato is a renaissance man and we usually called this episode Renaissance Dad. Calling it the data in game because he has a quizmaster for a traveling program called the big quiz thing. We'll explain that when he comes on but he's also voice-over artist and a musician. How do you know him? Could you always pencil whipped connecting with our guests? It's like six degrees of Adam de somebody knows somebody who knows somebody and now that we've got listeners. Yes as you keep telling us every week now that we have listeners. We have people contacting US saying you should have this guy on. He's a dad plus he's blank blank blank. Speaking of contacting us you can do that with our email. Which is contact us at bad to the data dot com. What does it really is contact at the dead dot com contact us at bads? The DAD DOT COM. Contact US at bad to the DAD DOT com. If you'd like to sponsor us if you have some guest ideas if you have questions for coach Randy sponsor that's a crazy eddie. Speaking of sponsors. Yeah you know we do have sponsors indeed we do sponsors and partners. We have becky Berman. Becky Berman did from day. One day zero said yeah from from off the Ground Ground Zero Berman Dot Com Berman CIS DOT COM. GotTa give a shout. She can do everything in digital media. Needs Adam. Tell what you can do to marketing site design. She designed our bone. Daddy Logo Again. A lot of compliments. Still about the Daddy Logo. And she's terrific. She's done all the variations of the bone. Daddy Logo Santa version of course are season three logo which you can see on our instagram account. Which is bad to the dad speaking of social media at bad to the Dan instagram Ford slash bed to the debt on facebook and of course our website which is www dot bad to the dad dot com. We also have media partners like to thank the tap into dot net network local news online. You get it in an instant if you live in North Central Jersey. Chances are there is a local news channel for you. Just click the drop down and find your town. I think the one thing that really impresses me about the tap into dot net network is how fast the news comes and how robust the news is and I think part of that is because you would i. The citizens are providing the content so whether it's coverage of a town hall meeting whether it's news about somebody doing something nasty in town that you should be aware of or if it's about a podcast celebrating suburban life. Such as bad weather did to the dad. Alex then you can of course access all that information tap into dot net. Thank you Jessica. Danielle for allowing US some space on your venerable digital network. You know I want to tell our listeners to not adjust their sound because yes. We are a bit nasal yes. We're a bit nasal today. Also right in here on my chest to our listeners are like us. They're probably struggling with that Late winter early spring cold. I think we're just so jealous of what's happening in China. Yes why did they get we we need to have some sort of? You've got the corona sniff. Mba Athletic rotavirus corona sniffle. Yeah No It is In in the Nathan Household. Yep My oldest. She's back she's in Denver and she's she has it I have it clearly. You have it and Michaela has it so it's used to be that thing going around but we're generally. This is not something you can catch on the podcast right bonafide. It's just do not adjust your base on your on your on your radio. This is how deep my voice doesn't the show must go on. Billy Joel had Laron Jarvis. One night he said the show must go on and he's still perform still performing. Somehow perform of Laryngitis is hands. I don't know maybe using semaphore but apparently there was a show where said the show must go on. Go on and win. He didn't lip sync because he's a true profession meeting of show. The show must go on runs daddy in this week run. Stand it in Yemen. A jump in because much It was it was a five five out of five run. Dad's zoo Partly because you're talking about the show must go on We took my oldest. You Know Michaela the Middle Old. It'll oldest. Who's just had a birthday to go see the play. That goes wrong. Man which is stop Broadway and very funny. Yeah very long money. And oh the joy that I had an and and my wife Justice well watching the kids laugh because we had seen it before was was amazing because the idea the show much go on all these things that happen the course that was the. That's how it started a week last Sunday is. We took her to see that show. And we took place called blacktop shakes. Give them a shout out way expensive for for Burgers and shakes but they did a solid for us. We'd have to wait as long as we thought. They got a semi got out and plenty of time. I thought we couldn't go to tap the look at my face and my daughter's face a disappointment when you don't disappoint your birthday. I've seen you drive miles to pick up sweatshirts I have. I have to make them happy. You know and then then the amazing thing the following day of nowhere. I'm just doing some work because it was president's Day and the door opened my wife walks in on my oldest. My oldest daughter shows up flies in from Denver. She's endeavour over the weekend with a fringe weekend. A girls weekend city had no idea she walks in on Monday and there. She has must've been completely flabbergasted house. I was like it was like really weird of those sensations. Like what's going on here. It took a long time to register that that was actually my senior since last May And she was there and her birthday is today. Yeah Happy Birthday. She's twenty so happy birthday Michaela. Happy Birthday Jessica. Absolutely she's She's two hundred twenty five years old today so big out to hurt Let them birthdays. Where families this February's vague law? My Dad my brother celebrate anniversary. She was there and she's the pride. My girls persist rather Chitchat diner shot up to them. Because they're just a Chitchat. West oranges diner. Yeah and Then of course by became an assistant coach for the first time. I know this is something. He was looking forward to so He's now coach Which is really exciting. Because that's a family like you like me. It's coach Alex. Traffic'S WE CALL COACH. Nays and coach Alex and he with nine eleven year olds by so he He just loved it and kids that age. Love calling older supervisory authoritative figures by their first name exactly so He's like Oh my gosh is his text. Backing is actually SORTA Kinda good. So that was moment and finally. I know I'm not taking up a little more time to breathe and you know she's just up break the very you know. She had toe surgery on Thursday and The the quick and she's fine. Everything's okay. They got the whole whatever. The Mass was and still be popsy. But it's not anything worse than having to go through this surgery but there's nothing I can had guests on our show member Greg. Fight whose daughter The battle with leukemia. Just you just have tremendous compassion when you put your self at apparent shoes So you watch your daughter. Being rolled off into yeah The or into the known. Your it's completely out of your control and there's nothing in like it's so funny is breeze experienced some challenges I mean. She said sixteen teeth pulled in her life Glasses Penology you. Name it so usually We always she's a trooper and my saying to her as God would never give you anything. Gutted think handwriting and that's the response back using data. I know I know And but this one kinda hit us in a different way and my wife. Being is very sensitive and insightful. Possibly so you know what? She's allowed to feel bad at this one. Let's let's give her a pass on it and we said Okay and so we get into. The hospital walked into the room in the look the face on her it was like. Oh this is like real surgery and we like she was. I did think was gonNA look like this and like you walk into a Hospital Hospital Hospital. And she was now really kind of feels real. She's I thought I was going to be like we kind of our is kind of well up a little bit. And then eventually they'd take her down and you see the door shut and down the nurses. Oh don't worry don't cry. No no he's allowed to cry. Let her graduate. I told you this speech about. It's okay to cry. She didn't do that but insider edgy did. Yeah WITH THE DOOR. Shut my wife just kind of looks at me and she just loses it and that kind of cry that as a husband and a spouse You just know that you could just hug and let it out so outside of that. We found out. Sergio successful took a lot of time. You are very helpful. You and your wife thank you a mom shell For being so great and Adam de for picking up the MEDS and Wotton Winnie. So you know what you only for those minutes away. Oh you. The Co pay was a whopping thirty four cents outright just added to my bill absolutely bad we get some decent telco. I took up a lot of our time and I should have gone. I gotTA follow that now. No you've got a really great week to so we absolutely did. And was the end of Peres freshman. Basketball Season AIDEN is about to start golf in earnest whereas the weather starts to warm up a little bit. He'll be out on the golf course a little more frequently so we have the sort of twitter season so we decided to take the whole family up to West Point for a doubleheader basketball game men and women and it wasn't just any double header was army versus Navy basketball game. Yes so of you get a chance. If you live in the northeast. Forget about just the New York if you live in the northeast visit West Point even if there's nothing going on this. Oh sporting event just go and walk around the campus take pictures with the Hudson River behind you. It is a gorgeous campus. The whole campuses on top of the mountain and you see the debts walking around the pageantry and the culture there is like none other except for of course the US Naval Academy yes. It was off the Air Force Academy in Colorado people in the northeast. These are the academies that are a little bit more accessible so doubleheader. Both Games were great. The men's game went into overtime. Ooh And the two very evenly matched teams. That were quite literally at five hundred going into the game. Excuse me so at halftime so you remember a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about the Super Bowl. Halftime show yes and we were more amused by watching. Eleven year olds wash Jaylo insecure. Yes correct all right. Wonderful commentary got from us. It particularly your son Aiden. Yes they're in. So at halftime of the men's show they had A fifth generation circus performer. Okay she was a contortionist and a rhythmic gymnast. She toured the world with Britney Spears on she was featured in the Hugh Jackman vehicle the greatest showman. Oh all right so. She had quite a resume. Yeah and she didn't look half bad either and her body is your body. Did things that I think normal bodies do not do well she's a contortionist so she's out there with the whole of doing her to the music and flipping and jumping and she's got one. Holo on her neck and another on an orange twirling another one hundred foot it's like she's completely destroys it herself and doing this amazing show. So what do you hear off on the side? All the cadets are in the quote unquote students. Second one more hope why they just WanNa keep pouring on. So what does she do she gets one more hoop yet? Another hoop and by the end of the show. She's doing eleven hoops on different parts of her body. But you know we're talking about eleven year olds watching secure Jaylo yes. We're watching essentially eighteen. Nineteen and twenty cadets completely fixated on this contortionist performer. Funny which just goes to show you that. Even though these guys are training to be officers they'll kids. They're still boys yes. Boys will be boys and they will still be mesmerized. When you put a woman is out on court doing all kinds of things all kinds of gyrations and fun but we. We had an amazing time. The Crystal Arena is a wonderful place to see a game and they do a lot of the kinds of things that you would see at a local College Basketball Games. They they had a dance off so the Cadet came out nice. We played Pop music and they did a dance off. And of course they throw stuff out in the Crowley shirts and and many basketball's so of course my kid's say dad. Yeah catch me one yet like that because you are you an attractor. I'm bad to the death but I also don't WanNa be that guy where I'm diving across other small children to gas free basket. Absolutely where your kid and you know when your senses yes shut off. And you're going for that basketball it's going to happen. It's going to happen in well. I said look. I'm not the one that's that's GonNa get it. They they love kids. Yes so you should be the one jumping on hold. Imagine you hold him out. I pointed said this one over. He didn't pick him up and pull them up like a a Michael Jackson. Now here's the thing about army cheerleader. Yes versus cheerleaders anywhere else. So these cheerleaders the men especially. They're like the rock checked. Yeah so when they have those T. shirts and those many basketball's yeah they're going for the third now last row in the building which is way up up on the ceiling. Yes so they're they're firing at us as hard as they can. I'm surprised they didn't get the gun. They're not using the gun that using they're they're using. They're on their own can't and you would appreciate this assault coach. The women yes adventure. Daddy's eye the upper deck. They feel like women they throw hard. Enviro hard in every throw and they they had a lot of throws whip and shirts and basketball's just with reckless abandon. Yes they didn't Tire Co. your lead me on edge. Did you get one? We got a t shirt. You got t-shirt really. Like ricocheted bounced off a hand. No kidding actually. Michelle got it. Death Kennedy was at the end of the row so she was. She was better place for it. The Universe worked for you. And you're a hero because you are to work for Michelle. Yes it worked for Michelle. We are to the dead. You're listening to ban it to the DAD. We are the podcast that celebrate suburban. Dad Life you can find us again on Social Media Instagram at bad to the DAD facebook forward slash bad to the dad and of course our website bad to the dead dot com. Where you can see pictures of coach Randy and Adam de with our guests frolicking engaging chanel allocate just having just having a grand old time and it would horsey at MD frolicking. Yes indeed and you'll see pictures up coach Randy and Adam de with our guest this week and his name. Is Eric Deepa Chato? He is really a Renaissance Dad. He's a voice over artist tease musician and he is also one of the quiz masters A little vehicle called the big quiz thing which has been enjoyed by corporations like Google like Pfizer like Wells Fargo but it's also been known to entertain the budgets for crown from time to time. Great for fundraisers great for school events. It's called the big quiz thing and our big thing. Our big guest thing. Is Eric Deeper? Chato Eric so glad to have you on to the dead here thank you. Thanks for having me. So you're a quizmaster so I thought maybe we break the ice. I flip the tables if you will that from time to time we like to do cold on the spot questions three on the spot with dad. Yeah all right. Are you ready. Sure okay here. We go so if you're going to teach a class as a college professor. What class would you like to teach? Wow and it could be any class doesn't have to be reading writing rhythmic right right like I could do like a music appreciation class. I teach a class on well. Yeah I don't know. Wow that's something I've probably never thought about. It was a good time to think of. Yes I mean really a strike one. Jeez I don't even know we're GONNA pass. You can always come back to what people say Algebra when we're not going to So people the history of rockets right well. Explicit Staff Rosen basketball. That's what makes a great game show. I'm just going to come from this. How about you number two okay? So shaft had his theme music and baseball players when they walk up to the plate they have their woke up music. Yes you're walkup music. There there are a couple tracks east of real. I I really enjoy. I guess do you know Joe Cetera? With the I love that he opened for David Bowie. Ninety one out of music tour and he was amazing better than Bowie really. Wow I never saw bowie live but I never saw such live either. But that's a great instrumental track. That I I like that stuff. A lot of the rolling stones big kind of Orrin B productions. You know there's a song called all down the line later the main street some of that stuff survey says and I used to be a DJ. So I love the more obscure rolling stones the B. Side stuff. You know all that stuff on On exile grade Yeah those big big productions you know. It's like big big ones. I liked that kind of stuff or Yeah so I grew up in the late eighties. And like my first introduction to music was like the metal grew up in. Jersey and it was very much part of the culture. You had long hair. I had tremendously long. Always the case in high school have no hair hair different place. That's one of the worst you have ever. Jersey was big on big here. You know we have You know those all those guys number three number three could be. I can go different ways with mid will do a bonus question question number. Three is if you could be one celebrity for a day just one day just one day. Who would you like to be a celebrity for a day? You Know I. Yeah I would like I. I think Keith Richards would be a great. You may remember it but right right but I mean go to play a stadium like that the heart of those people on a Gig Day. I think that would be a great day trade and you're a guitarist I am so but that's why it's like you know I probably will never play an arena. You never know But yeah that would be a great experience to To have or stadium. That's awesome. Yeah I could see this being close to eighty years old and having eighty thousand screaming fans right when people ask me. Would you rather be an athlete or rather be a musician? I say musician because your career lasts forever. Wonder you know especially with all the preservatives. He's been a professor question. Have you thought of any sort of your life lights? Yeah yeah phone a friend but then you can always go off the board for Jewish athletes. I don't think I can't think of a single topic that would wouldn't dread after six months and and be like. Oh Gosh I still think he gets a pass and great. Thanks a solid sees and saying go see plus percent Sochi Keith Richards. And he kept with the rolling stones did the curve her car. We're all about the bell. Yeah so eric the voiceovers music and the big question. Have you always been involved in entertainment slash media job another job before this so I yeah I in a past life? I was in the marketing world. I always wanted to be an entertainment. I wanted to be an entertainer. I want to be dubbed as talent. I wanted to be talent I forever and I was working in the marketing world and we would hire talent. I found myself like hating these people. Say Why do you get to? I would say this in my head like why do you get to be the talent and I realized that it was just because they said they were there You know what I mean. They they weren't necessarily more skilled or anything. It's just they were like. Hey I m voiceover I am. I am actor so I was like a marketing director. A magazine is like two thousand And I started doing standup okay. Let's start doing stand up. People just had a different sort of look they look at you differently or have a different respect for you. Definitely if you're stand people are suddenly willing to. Have you do almost anything that they need to create an and that's how a lot of voiceover artists get discovered why it was funny? I was in New York and I was doing shows as much as I could. I was in a grocery store one day and talking to my friend and a woman came up to me and said you know. I think I saw you do stand up last week whatever. Oh that's great. That's what we've been using. Well no I don't remember anything but I recognized voice. Okay ready to take away. Thank you right right. And it was a little backyard. Yeah so you know it is now. That's great that's great. You have a voice right. Yeah we've always bad. Yeah so so. Yeah that that was kind of wild voice over my as soon as I found out. That voice overs happened which I think was his earliest highschool as such thing as voiceover. Oh yes soon. As I realized that that was a job. I think that something I wanted to do. Very cool and then at the time. I was in high school and this. This teacher told me that I had great inflection. In my voice it was strange because he would be like you have great infliction in your voice like he would talk like that and so. He Dracula Griffin blesses at nights. He would dumb. He had me start to do the morning announcements. So this is cool and at the time I was a big you know from early on. It was a big stern fan. I was like Oh wait. Maybe this is like a thing you can do it. I was just saying you know thought that I was broadcasting every day or whatever it was it was cool so it was always something that I wanted to do. But since my parents aren't really from this country from the from Egypt but last name what last Italian last name. We're Jewish we and we all spill spoke French before we spoke English so I pulled. My mother tongue was Franchisee. Now speak English because when I was a teenager like my parents who speak to me in French and Italian last name. Jewish Marriage Read Jeanne France. Yeah Yeah Yeah. And they are not taking anything away from them but it was like. Are you going to be a banker? You're GONNA and lawyers like traditional job. Yeah just wasn't even on the radar. No I'm going to be a voice over artist or actor in the you know they wouldn't even know what that means. What are some of the things you voice right now Right now you can hear me on the. I do a lot of for the diamond in your life. There's only one diamond store. Zales the store your head. We got the guy. Yeah I think we should just care. Risk Zales very cool anything else. I started doing so which is kind of new for me. Because you know there are different like you know type aspects so I started doing legal reeds for for Applebee's which is you know the fast copy at a faster this last as you can. Wow and then if you don't have enough time. They compress the president. And that's why you hear it going like this is wild because when I wore a younger man's clothes on Billy Joel reference. Yes I radio was also the morning announcing sky high school and I got an voiceovers on the side and I at that time it was told. Look just reading. Copy is great. If you can inflict you've got an idea kind of basic voice but there was such an insistence on acting with your voice. Yeah those are tough gigs. To get that in the end what you realize. It almost has nothing to do with your with your voice ability to tell that story. And that's not you know I'm not saying I've been I've had representation now. I guess since like two thousand six so it's been a little while for our lay people out there you save agent so that's used to be that if you wanted to do voice overs you had to get an age because they held the keys to everything in the industry They would hear you. And then say oh. I think I can make money on you so I will send you auditions. That's how it was for a long time. And that's when people made a lot of money and everything was going well today with everyone having the potential to have set up in their house or whatever be able to record. Now you've got people who WanNa do voice-overs who are now out on websites saying auditioning what we're calling non union jobs little air quotes. Yes because people don't want to pay people don't WanNa pay people like all you're doing is reading. They don't necessarily want to pay for that. They don't see that additional value right about you read that so so what ends up happening. Is those people like. Oh they undercut you. Yeah dollar wise because like I'll read this thing for fifty bucks for three hundred bucks and then so people who WanNa get into voiceovers are actually killing the voice over industry just because I trying to get into it through and through the Nontraditional Trudeau. Safe think is a reasonable. Just WanNa do it. Twenty year old kid today. It makes sense because the business. Hey read this thing L. dollars regardless the fact that if you know if this were let's say a union job or whatever you might get five ten thousand dollars for how much we're going to use this thing people. This is their living going to have these these ramps. That are kind of coming in. You tend their clocks undercutting professionals salad. Well but that's exactly what he's that's what we're looking at. Yeah exactly yeah. Yeah. It's just I don't know and I was that guy too. I wanted to get into the industry but while I was trying to do anything I could get in. I was constantly making better and better. Demos that we're GONNA get me signed by eight so you say to me you know you could be in the voice. Our insurance industry without an agent. But the real game I wrote aint talking. That's rookie ball. Lie In the show. Yes you do it the right way so all. You rookies out there. But but it's changed. Listen to the the real talents in the room. And that's the thing you know. People are getting discovered on social media and Youtube. So yeah it's great. It's making it more accessible for people who aspire to be in the industry still Bush still Bush the craft right. You know people who who are focused on the craft and working on their voice and building up the. What's not the real but I guess they're Demo Right. Yeah the same thing like a minute of every kind of storytelling. You can do in that minute. You know what I mean. And then hopefully if it's varied enough someone to be like. Wow this guy we can make money on with this guy. But that's like you know and now it's just a different industry these days than it was then. But it's still I believe the best job you can have it so you've found a way to use your maximize your voice which message to all of our dads and even the group that I work kids in terms you face your dream you go after it America. It's American dream also created this kind of quiz show game show. Yeah so so. The thing was is that we're going to this magazine. We had a freelance copy editor. Who came in and his. Name's Noah Tarnaud and shot up to know a shout out to know. He is the creator of the big quiz thing he was like. Hey I'm doing a trivia show at this bar down in lower east side you guys should come and this is when we were young enough where you would actually go to things of people at work and stuff so we went to the first big quiz thing. I was in the audience and places packed. This place called the slipper room. It was like a burlesque bar. It was cool seeing packed with Kinda like nerdy smart but like in New York very hip way. So is this cool sort of crowd and I just watched the show and we were part of it and I said you know you you know I saw no of the next day and was like man you should try and think about having a side cater like an announcer and I think this could go multimedia thoughts notes and he was like okay you want to get involved and and then so we did that. We did a public show. We did every other Monday night at the slipper room for years. I mean we charge five dollars at the door and then gave the cash away to the first place and we'd give away three hundred. I Dunno we'd give away. There was money left over but that was that was always a cash prize in two thousand six. I guess we'd built up like a kind of a audience. Whatever Barry diller from IC- hired us to do his corporate retreat for Zia cool and he was like come in and do an hour and entertain these people with a trivia show or whatever and when we did they flew out Santa Borrows top. I mean it was just live with that. It's like okay. That's me that like hey wait a minute. Maybe we do this and maybe we can do this instead of up your game a little bit right so then by so that was two thousand six by I think by two thousand ten. Maybe two thousand eleven is something like that. We closed the public show. And it's all just been private and corporate events. Yeah so let's say I'm a participant in this event. What can I expect whatsoever? Trivia Trivia which words outbreak. Because everyone's like oh I don't know this stuff but everybody brings something to the team. So you get teams of fourteen of five. We find the smaller. You get a team of ten like there's too much brainpower. Yeah you'RE GONNA get every question you're going to get that you know and also there's like there's a social dynamic that happens at the table but it's like four or five people team Trivia. We do three or four rounds and we do so. I hear a lot about people trivia nights or something and it'll be a guy onstage saying like who won the CY young and seventy two or something like that that to us is a really bad question because nothing to do it but not only that. There's nothing in the question that's indicating the answer. You know what I mean. Or that's causing discussion in the grew Ha. So that's why likely your team builders while on the corporate side. We do a lot of teams. The team building team building absolutely. He's your guy. This is a great of and then you take it. And then you break up the team you have executives with the interns and you know you can sort of craft the companies. You have an inter with executive in the morning those relationships because a lot of times the corporate benefits to get to the washroom to the rest of the league week nine died off. I understand your copay. No no but we do a lot of that kind of stuff and it works out well to get people who don't always maybe work together. Spend time together. You know some to to interact with common goal. And it's the craziest thing we give away these little medals. That's the big thing like Olympic style around your. I introduced him at the beginning of every show. And you win one of these and people grown. It's like oh. It's like a goof yet at that point by the end of the show they are dying for the medal and he wants to have metal us. We tease at the beginning of our show. We have the bad of the dead the key the key right also yes right okay and open hearts and minds music and you're going oh great you're going to get one of those guys right now ended later this. You're like Oh my gosh you've got one of your in the fraternity of add to the depths. Like forty one. Yes dads who will now have a key buys one for three dollars on your sort of a Jason member Jason turned. Abc's bathroom mad at three dollars. You get one radio. Yes just by being just by being schmear good well. That's not all the showcase showdown that kind of thing. So that's you so is this. This is a traveling show. You'll go anywhere. Yeah I was in I. Will I mean now? It's it's broken up or it's it's actually broken into a big network across the country so we've got in Boston. We'VE GOT PEOPLE IN CHICAGO. Those people in San Francisco. There's Florida now. There's three quiz masters in New York. So is master. Yeah in this training for that is like a weird thing is the you know now. But you're going to walk into blind into a room of potentially a hundred people and yeah you're gonNA SORTA run this. You have to run this game and you have to like manage the room. So is there training know? But is there a skill absolutely so? You're you have standup experience. That's that's the only reason you like. I'm good at doing that. Are All the other quizmaster's comedians think? When they look for Chris Master. They look for someone who yes Improv. Stand up actor something somebody who has these very cetera right now quizmaster Israel which it sounds a lot of guys with New York but there are but there's a lot of demanded New York New York is still. Our busiest leading was yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah. There's a lot going on. There is a lot. Why understand it? You have a challenge for us to do I do. I brought you some dad and father related questions. You guys go head to head coach. Go ahead right. So how does this work? Don't do? We need buzzers. Do we need clapping or with visor with you stealing his the. Do you have these staples? That was easy button my wife the other way staples is not a sponsor yet not yet but we are mentioning them for free. Okay still works okay. The campaign doesn't work anymore because nobody's mentioning. That was easy from two thousand thirteen right but the buttons to work. Okay here we go and the game. The Big Quiz Bad to the dad style begins now. Okay filling the blank in. What was perhaps the worst band name of the nineteen nineties? The Cherry blanking daddy's the Cherry Poppin daddies that is correct. Zoot Suit Riot Leo Ragab. Just extra points. All right. A harvest man is in Iraq. Nic better known by what three words name. Coach men is in Iraq. Yes harvesting veterans. Yes daddy long legs. And his right. Come under all daddy and father. They're all daddy and father stove all right here. We go here. We go rocking spider. I'm like what three words? Yes out named for a race. Horses mother is known as it's Dan. What's the word for Father? Daddy Daddy near the BUZZER GLOW TO REPEAT. The question is struggling. The racehorses. Mother is known as it's the word for two want. Yes coach Steele. I have no idea. I thought you're going to go with something very inappropriate. Yeah Daddy Something that has to do with sire fire a sire. Oh Sire aside when sire a Colt? I guess that Cyrus all right. Oh Daddy Daddy theme or what? Arabic term used for an appetizer spread. Translate hampered daddy any any Middle Eastern. Us This is probably Swedish mortgage for that is incorrect coach to steal. I had the dumb with Arabic. Arabic term used for an appetizer spread. Appetizer spread yes a schmear. That'd be like something that the homeless. Baba just one that's like our. Wow this three fifty seven. I think we've got to get this button. Change to it was really hard. I have no idea okay. The author H G wells is often referred to as the father of what to Word Phrase Science Fiction? That is correct site with two. I already okay. An Echo in here. very good. We should have them back on this before. Joaquin Phoenix one this year. What was the only role for which two different actors Won Academy Awards? Two different actors wanted me awards for the same role. Before Walking Phoenix we need Christie S Diaz. Who is you're in? The car I know is injured. Telepathy mind roll which different actors in one Kevin Ward lives of. Who Has Robert Deniro that is? It's the movie though right. Ainsley Lee Clo- looking for the role. I know I know The Godfather yes. Yes the Godfather now. Two two one four four four hit high. I've got more than two. I don't know like look all right. I only got two more for your ready. What was the last name of the man who in the eighteen seventies developed a classification system? That earned him the nickname. The father of modern librarian ship. Yes adults Jeff. Doing that is right. Mel's Dewey decimals. All right last one sneaking a father my misery shoot down here we go the federalist papers the series of articles that Turpin it and argued for the adoption of the US Constitution. You have the answer he did say. Don't jump don't know be Jenner Hamilton. Very interesting So the federalist papers written anonymously by three founding fathers name two of them. You've already named John J yes just pulled up right there. You know the third He was more popular was a Ben. Franklin it was. Thomas Jefferson no Madison Medicine. Wow Wow I think I think you might be tight lighting around you got pop in Daddy. Long legs yeah and then inside chick like sixteen other ones too. Yeah that's that's that's right. I'm proud of my all right. My worth more point. You close strong. Yes this is really cool. Gas is from. We should probably be sponsored type of thing which means that. Becky Berman will sponsor absolutely for Brandon. See US please. Government DOT COM sign. Autographs is is vice. Dad Vice over all your debt I am. Let's learn about your fan. I have I have a boy and a girl. My kids are eleven months apart It was not designed that way but it worked out that way and I would say. Eighteen months to two years were absolutely brutal way. I mean it's just you have to add lights. You know eleven months away from each other in stages and just in a tight apartment and it was just it was. It was really rough but now now it's unbelievable. Now they are. They are best friends. They really wake up and look for each year. That's great what are they into? Are they sort of taken on on the media thing like you know? My son does a youtube channel or really. Yeah but he's not interested in shooting editing or starring in any people watch really. He doesn't always tells me when we're famous youtubers. I might buy. He'll be like we'll do this. We're famous youtubers. He's GonNa me a Lamborghini we're gonna live in a mansion. No these. There's all these things that are going to happen dreams when his when his channel has he asked you when you were younger. Who's your favorite Youtuber? No Jessica our daughter asked that question when you were already. Who's your favorite Youtuber? And it was kind of a fun situation because we did not have magnum. I don't even know that until we could be thing. We've a portion of our show called dead vice. Okay all right so we reached the first of all. You've exceeded our expectations. I figured if we just did game showing for half an hour Dan. Yeah just like you start out. We have a really low bar. So I just want to phrase. You exceeded that low part of But exceeded expectations with you. Raised the bar. If you're married shove into Adam like this got literally raised level. So that's so so now. The pressure's on now. We have all right so so some advice for danced advice. What would that be something? I realized early on when my kids were really young. And you'd get frustrated with them because you're either trying to discipline them or trying to trying to do you know have them do something then to your will. I just realized that especially at a young age. It's really all you. It's your expectations. That are gonNA make you frustrated. That are gonNA drive you insane. The kid has no idea the kids just being a kid so you draw a line in the sand and then you guys start pushing back and forth you know that's just not a pretty place to go and and my theory is Joan. Draw the line in the sand because when you get into a pissing match with your kid. That's only an end to waste your. They're gonNA give into your kid or you're going to be so pissed off you're going to gallon it you know it's just it's GonNa get you into just vibe. You don't WanNa be in so I've realized just you have to you know there's just ways to get around. Sushi either way you get picked on your own business you pissed on on your you get your blood pressure realize that you are in control of that almost at all time and normally get on no now well okay bringing that. I think it's time now to wrap things up Eric. This was a matter of fact. Thanks for being a guest on the show. Of course we're going to get you the key chain that I really want absolute so people want to find out more information about the big quist go because dot com they on facebook or on instagram. Or all over and it's pretty much thank you. This is great man. That's the sound of a Dj being banged against a coffee mug yards. You know it's you know what storable trendy and his ability to press buttons So so that's also the big thing that can they request you? They can if they want. I guess but you know there are lots of quizmaster's that do it really well. People seem to really enjoy that. It's not just the guy firing question. Eric Pechanga thanks. Voiceover Guy Quizmaster for the big quiz thing. Yeah you were in bed to the debt and we appreciate it so much. Thank you so much. We are bad to the DAD. Download US wherever you find. Podcast WE are bad to the DAD with coach. Randy and Adam de remember you can find us on social media at bad to the DAD. That's instagram forward slash. Bantu that's facebook DUB DUB DUB DUB band to the dead Dot Com and you can also interface with us. Ask US questions. Tell us what guests you'd like to see on the show contact us at bad to the Dan dot com is our email. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT COM eric. Deepa CHATO was our guest. How much fun was there was a lot of fun? We've quick little tease. We might see him or hear from him again. At some point in the distant future special you might say a special where it was mastering maybe possibly come in someways Matt Ryan somewhere down the line. I'm just GONNA so. There is a tease show fund. Sean I I guess I don't know as much we don't know as much about Dad Trivia. We thought we I guarantee wall. Actually I got a boat up. You'd have got a bone up I talked to my joy. Stick a little bit today. But certainly we got to To Bone up our game on Dad Trivia. But what I love what we do. I really do every time every come together. I think you forgetting the guest and this came to us. How do we get so weird friend in our community Deb Weiss later so shout out to death who has kids that go to a private day school in the area and they had Eric Quiz Mass. The big quiz thing and they had a blast. Yeah they had a fundraiser for this school. Okay and then I did a little research on Eric and the site and found that he's kind of a big deal with this big quiz he makes route. He just throws out. Ben Diller just out the name Ben Diller who knows from Ben Dell right I look at it. That's a huge agents eight so Louis but I tell you coach you know I think we have a lot of fun producing show doing a lot of the things that the listener does not see on social media and one of my favorite things is to pitch guests to come on the show. Yeah right and tell about what we're doing and I think they're curious and then when they come in they realize they're having a lot of fun yes and I'm really loving the seas not that I didn't love the first to see what we're up our game though more experience for seasoned but let's think about the first four weeks of the show had we had a motivational speaker author. Yeah we had a veteran of the entertainment industry of his done screenwriting. We had an attorney. Who Specializes in elder care? Long-term plan you and then we had this quizmaster so I think we're really enjoying the most variety we've ever had well again. These this was also like I said in our in our interview this is the. I guess that neither one of US really knew. Yeah and what's great is the chemistry. What brings us together as we're all dead and very really appreciate being debt here story about his parents from Egypt with Italian last name. He came here always. That guy in school that wanted to eighteen wanted a voice over actor and commanded garage with his parents. Saying I don't want to be a lawyer dog who were immigrants. Yes very traditional viewpoint on what career should be and he does allow you did. I could see how excited because he did. The shows the the announcements you too and there really is something to be said about our country regardless of the time the years what it does provide for individuals in terms of having dreams and now he goes to a bar listens to a game. Show right I have an idea for you. And reinvented reinvents. The idea behind the game show on top of it. We had the Zales guy here. The sales voice over in the presence of voiceover royalty absolutely. I think it was. We've over royalty almost like the the the sprint guy But certainly Dell's he was here in the desert big account. It's a big town account. And he was in our dead here and he has a bone daddy kitchen so now he's part of the fraternity is starting to deal. He is. He's the real congratulations. Erica being part of the group Good show could work today. Great Show we're GONNA keep it humming. We'll be back for another download not Sunday. Another show coming up right. Absolutely Hassan Manferd. Ooh My good friend Hassan Mumford. Now he's also a motivational speaker and author but he does so much really good work in the inner city and we really have not focused on unguessed that our dads who support the inner city. And I think that's a really important topic. We really need to address that a song will be our guest on the next to the debt looking forward to it. Adam I want you have a great week? You too exciting stuff happening this week. Absolutely and Certainly I'M GONNA MISS. You because you know it seems before we get started before you know it. We Lincoln we're back to a real jobs time. We have to say you know so long. Oh you did a Carol Brunette stay go I love it. We're Bantu the DAD. Dads have a great week.

DAD US New York Randy Adam de Eric DEEPA Chato facebook basketball Jessica Eric becky Berman Alex Denver Billy Joel instagram president Youtube professor
Season 3, Episode 13  Dad Strong

Bad To The Dad

47:10 min | 10 months ago

Season 3, Episode 13 Dad Strong

"If you're the kind of Dad. Who's giving hot yoga? Try and buy hot yoga. We mean you stretch for a frozen pizza in the back of your fridge. And then he ended up in the microwave. Then this is the podcast for you. Hot Yoga hot pockets. Whatever it takes we are the podcast celebrating suburban dad life from the den from the cave. We are bad for the dead with coach. And Adam de my name is Adam. A and I am so proud introduced. You might broadcast partner coach Randy. Thank you so grab your showed up again You know I was thinking about it because the show by yourself but I do offer A slight element of talent. So it's always nice to have on the two of US every Sunday coming to you from the Dan indicate We're what are we what we can. I forget I don't even matter. The`demon matters doesn't matter. Is it a Thursday? It's a Sunday is the it doesn't make a difference. It's it's any day. What matters is our guest today? Yes and we've got an old friend of mine. All Broadcasting Buddy named rich to marco is going to join us in just a little bit rich dimarco and I worked at a small radio station in North Jersey. Call W. H. T. local radio station. They played oldies but they did. Local news and Sports. And that's how we became friends. We've been friends. Ever since he is the assistant athletic director at Army West Point Fascinating job and one of those responsibilities is he gets to the play by play announcer for Army West Point sports on a lot of different radio outlet so yeah we're going to reminisce a little bit. We're also going to talk about what broadcasting is like for army mess point. It has to be so different than any other college or university athletic program around the country once again Adam. D You Amaze me by the people you know I swear you know everybody. I think my kids know given either defined as Adam Adam Adam knows everybody so I'm hoping I get some dirt. I hope like little bits of dirt. Maybe even some mud. It might get a few cookie stories but you know who somebody I know that. I'm so proud to have been my network Let me see let me guess. Does the I begin with A. B? That's right and an e. Are we playing wheel of fortune here? I'm just curious. Bits Becky Berman. Becky Berman of Berman Brandon. Tell us a little bit about Becky. Berman coach Randy Berman Dot Com. That has Berman. C S DOT com. Becky Berman consulting services. She's a genius. She's she's precious. She's gold She gave us the bone. Daddy logo And she continues to if you've seen that just one not just two but bone Danny three Add SH- DIDDY graphic design website. You name it. She's there for you and she's going to be a guest on bad to the dad. Our last episode of the season does it all confirmed. It is confirmed. She's GonNa do it. We're going to have our vendor friends and our media partner friends come on learn a little bit about them and how they do what they do their whole creative process and speaking of media partners were back at tap into that. Is the local news network type in tap into dot net in your browser while law up comes a local news source. Click the drop down. Find Your town. You'll get news for the people and by the people quite literally. They have people from the community writing stories and they've done a phenomenal job. I hope they submit for some sort of award local or otherwise on the Cobra coverage because it has been it spits. Notice any major news outlets. It's it has been around now for a while. They've got a great brand but they've been very supportive in some time really happy. That's her mother's Day. Special Right Jessica Danielle. I think we're going to have Jessica on as well as the CEO. Michael Shapiro Great. Great Guy He's GonNa come to us the zoom. We're GONNA learn a little bit about what it's like to run a an online local news outlet and See what that process is all about so that should be should be good fun and we want to do this as a thank you for everything that they've done with us. As he said we have a great show great guests we have great sponsors. How about your week? How was your week? I had a few run at it. Runs data in. Yes and we did something a little Fun and different so we are insisting that the kids come down and we have dinner as a family every night no phones. We gather we talk. We have fun. We know what each other did throughout the day because the right across the dining table absolutely the other night we did a family theme night at dinner all right. Yeah about what he'd do that right now. Coach when you hear a theme nights you think all right maybe sports nightdress in your Favor Football Jersey. It's rock and Roll Nike. Where you're ever rock band t-shirt okay. So what we did was dress up and talk like your favorite Shammar. That's like my favorite like you're so busy as everyone at the dinner table. Was somebody else at the dinner table. Now let me warn you all right if you would prefer not to know what the rest of your family members think about you as well as all of your idiosyncratic these do not do this sin skin and your sensitive. This is not a good idea so Michelle my wife was my daughter. Perry right yes. My daughter Perry was my son aiden. Ooh Nice Eighty was me and I was. I was my wife Michelle. I'll tell you if you wanna you WANNA have a happy marriage in quarantine. You may want to postpone this for afterwards video video. Fortunately we do not okay. We're not but I'd say they they had me down really have to tell you. I have some catchphrases that I wish I didn't say anymore and I will tell you coach you but I am terribly annoying. I didn't think I was annoying. My whole family jumped on Aden's bandwagon. Administering me they don't appreciate they take it for granted. I think you are amazing. My brother from another mother. So I'm I'm fed for you. That the insisted the kids get out and get their bodies moving and they have the sprays that says at least we're getting the blood moving on that we're getting a blog moving and sometimes yes. Sometimes when I go to starbucks with the kids five through and I placed my order. The person at the register says will that be all? I say no. That'll do it. So what are they hear the rest of the night out? How does it do it? So that's actually very. That's good steak. That is very good. Stick OUT OF DE. That makes me laugh. Yeah we had We've tried to mix things up a little bit and we started playing. We played heads up. You know means We played different kinds of games but For a long time. I've been a team builder. And one of the activities. I've always done with teams is called. Blindfold PUZZLES RIGHT. So my wife Convinced everybody for us to do blindfold puzzle. I have I have at least two dozen. Different Puzzles Two dozen right. And so what you do. Is One person blindfold themselves the other person have the attractions and how to do the The puzzle Lo and behold My My moulders. Michaela the middle of this mechanical and all this And my wife just brought out the video and it's pretty pretty funny. I mean it is a pretty hysterical and I think is almost funny because you're trying to tell somebody's trying to talk clearly. I'm getting frustrated. Kayla is just a funny kid so I think we might try the Personality dinner but a chance. It's impossible you can come over will share them with you. Should try a blindfold puzzles a two. It's fun yeah go on Facebook to coach Randy. Nathan's facebook page. And you'll see a video of him harassing his daughter with a blindfold on trying to get all these pieces in place. The pressure in Cochrane. You'd do a puzzle is blindfolded apparently at once a fairly one time I'd say stop talking and she was never talking just to lay it on thick for coach again. The headline is nothing but Kobe. Round the clock and I think I need to thank the great people of the Nation of Australia. Australia's from down under rely. Yeah why because they are doing the corona research that no other country is doing yes they are yes question the it's a vital question revolving taking it spread mighty here on the edge of our tongues. Absolutely this is a this is A. This is a new story for you coach when I when I saw this. The question is can the corona virus be spread through arts? Which is everybody wants to think right now. Canopy because one would think so. Well the Australians. On like you and me where you know any kind of far funny yes. The Australians are taking a very clinical approach to the study now. They're saying it's very possible because we're do most viruses and guts and bug start. They start in the gut intestines. Yeah the stomach whatever's in the guts going up for its going out right for Dell upper upper deck down so that which comes down and out could be both silent and deadly so they recommend these Australian researchers thought about this. And let you gotta put a mask on your ass. You already have one wearing underwear and pants. You've got a mask recommend do not point. You're behind anybody. If you feel like you're going to flagellate because that would the room and certainly do not Far you know bear but it because that will not contain the potential corona virus outbreak through that method. So you know I'm thinking hey you're live on a nudist colony. You're completely screwed. Yahoo you let go to whole colony. Yeah no because you don't WanNa you let a fart anybody's particular direction right like the Monty Python. Yes you've got your general direction. Yeah so now they did say there's inconclusive research who knows but it say why leap at the chance protect one could sneeze and this goes out to infect the air one might make the deduct that one could flagellate excrete some gas their way out. I think it's it might be under something Adam Day. They might be on something coach. I'm just putting out there. I don't know where the nomination slip is for the Nobel Peace Prize and scientific research but I am pencilling. In the Australians Corona's corona virus research on farting that seek our listeners. That much better now so because you raise their awareness into the possibility and they will stay away for people's behind and flatulence you. You provide a great service out of day. We are bad to the dead. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy. And Adam de Remember. We are brought to you by Berman branding. Marketing website design graphic design. It's Becky Berm. And she is she the Gal you WanNa talk to learn more about our Goto Berman. C S Dot Com that's Berman CS as in consulting services dot com again. She's the one who designed Bone Daddy. Daddy wonderful skull with hats pipe and spectacles on our social media on our website and of course on our keychain which opened bottles opens doors and if you let it coach Randy it opens at heart brother. Right there ours. Our hearts and minds and wisdom. Our guest next live he will get a keychain. I am so proud to introduce our guest. This week's episode rich DEMARCO Assistant Athletic Director and play by planning man and on army which point radio rich great to see again all first of all. Thanks so much for having me. It's it's really an honor and just after you know talking about happy odd even from when you and I assign each other back in February just looking at what you guys do. The kind of message That you guys tie in with your podcast and everything really honor ought to be or what twenty two years. I think Adam you and I go back. So it's it's simple. Sir says this Great Times as great type so full disclosure coach and listeners. Richard I kind of got our start in radio at this. One Thousand Watt Daytime Oldie station. That happened to cover. Local news and sports was called G. H. T. Fifteen hundred am the mighty. Fifteen hundred was what it was called back in the day to. Ma Give you the correct call letters. Do the GREG call one out. It was wgst Until they folded about A year or two ago You know I feel like a piece of our past has has has of. Uga WAS W G wasn't like just over the top and if we were people would say you guys are frauds. Stuff stuffing weird but Rich I mean I mean you remember those days when we were out on the sidelines covering High School Sports. I do I do Billy. I remember you know Lawn Samuelson. Let's use another name. He's the one who connected me to you in and out of you got me in there. You know where I was doing. Sports do a news and doing a lot of different things. I remember that time just I just love. I eat that radio right deep deep down and you know from being in college radio. Small radio local radios in after that really in New Brunswick New Jersey for a few years also working at Wfan on different things. And I just I just love radio and you know what I'm able to do now has a lot of radio involvement being the radio claiming which was my dream from when I was a kid. The college basketball by play. Guy. But you know it's funny. The years in radio are like the greatest years in some ways. I'd never wanted to again because of the time commitment. You know how you know with a family. You're able to just on a moment's notice. Go out and cover up a fire. Some emergency you're being on call doing a new shift too late at night but it's It's something where I think you know the community radio station. Someone told me. Local radio is all about so whether you're doing fundraisers I remember being WCTC New Brunswick. My favorite time of year was around the holidays and the toy drive and there was like this common area in the station in the building. And you know as you know the the hosts would do the live reads if hey this family. You know needs jackets toys and everything and then just over those couple of weeks. The toys were just pour in a being a consumer get filled up. It'd be in the comair Beila by a few days or Christmas. They've all over the place in the trump would come up and we'd all help load all those toys into the trucks. I guess I guess deep down I guess I am radio old school radio guys. I always think of those moments in your huge on that. Well thank you rich now we talk about WGN HD as a small local ready. Yeah Randy. Randy's doing the heart emoji and Catching it. I'm grabbing it. You can't see it but I'm grabbing at heart now. I think this is wonderful. Challenge talk and listen. I have inspired. I have to be but I want to get to the bottom bridge. I once in dirt wants mud. I want some. I WANNA get my hands dirty elbows something that I could hold over. Adam de on this public podcasts. That would be good. That most of our listeners would have no idea about Adam d from what you remember when he was younger. Please I okay I you know one thing that always sticks out there was a relic. So you're talking about talent. I think another one noam laden right who's youngster actor news anchor in New York City and and had a profound impact on me in regards to news really getting me into news. I got W J T someone who's straight into sports and and you know going back to other advice. Being well rounded is another huge one and and I think no. I'm getting me into news and being able to embrace. That was a huge thing so so adamant noam used to do a morning show up in Ataman up in Adam anoma thinking of Adam and it was really hot day. Cited Adam tried set fried egg cooking a the on the on on the pavement or on the windshield of a car outside the station. I want to say and I was in my car with somebody else's cars out and that was an interesting one That's probably as as as as crazy as I could get but they They really braced it. I think Adam unknown you know Tom Niven and you don't sound old school radio. I mean that's we go on tangents here but I think they embraced Adam. I think yeah China. Cook the A. I'll take the egg on the windshield for five hundred. Alex thank you very much appreciate and no one. By the way he is He's got his own show on. Wabc IF I'm not mistaken used to work with Iras and now has his his own news program. Another tremendous talent. I think we're going to try to get him on back to the data at and he's as good of a person to me as as anyone professionally and you're not just you know you talk about Kevin Burkhardt talk about non late and and the things have been able to do a lot of people there you know like you're saying the station was in a house. It was daylight station. I mean you had a really want it to be next to a sewage plant in Pompton lakes when you came in Monday morning in the summer coach. Randy did smoke. You could smell what people were cooking over. The Louis was doing weekend morning news and put me on the coach for the alarm. You out there so much. Green Great Memories erased atoms guys. Great Great Star. Let's rip down Memory Lane thank you. That will warm fuzzy. Now find correct you are. Obviously you work with in radio. You announce games and you're an assistant athletic director so I've got some different responsibilities the department which is when you go back to being well rounded and just trying to grow and just pick up other things so I work on our creative team. You know help them. Build content whether it's through interviews received some in our live events and broadcasts entities and then I also oversee our our licensing athletic department so there are some retail operation side. Been able to pick up some different Responsibilities which is really cool. Because I think you know probably you know there's Harvey it's someone you're going to be like a lifelong learner and different things in different responsibilities. So I've been very very lucky At West Point extremely blessed and lucky advocate. Pick up some different. Things emanate off How'd you get connected with West Point? That seems like I mean it's are you were you did you. Were you army related? You know I mean I mean as a as a kid I mean I went to army football games like pretty much. Everything stayed goes in the northeast at least once a year once every couple of years and then I was working so adams talk about when we were together at up to be hd so I graduated rutgers in Nineteen Ninety Eight as division hd from ninety eight to ninety nine also working at Wfan. Right intern working off the air producing and a ninety nine. I got an opportunity to go to on back to New Brunswick. I work in radio station. Air A local station but also do pre and post game for Rutgers Football Rutgers. Men's basketball women's suits play-by-play be a news reporter in sports. Your order and host talk show so I did that for five years And then I known people at Army just professionally and an old four job opened up Actually they called me and asked I wanted to interview for it before it went out and then I interviewed went through the process and Horsh of to get there and I mean I've been there since megacity in two thousand four. Do you think you're going to be there for sixteen years. I'd be I I don't know but I mean there's never been a moment where you thought to leave in sixteen years so I think it's as lots of cold air and how they treat equal out really is really special place fairly Harvey village it man. Yeah no absolutely and rich you know. West Point is not like any other campus and their legs program is not like any other athletics program. Tell us a little bit about the culture there from your point of view because you have a very unique position. They're sure I was looking at like this. You know when I'm driving into work in the morning and there's tour buses letting people outs lock around. I'm just like wait. I get paid to come here every day. Pretty crazy you know but you know it's I'll tell you what I think is is is really key is any sport and in college athletics. Or whatever you know. We're always talking about like you're covered team. You're like hey this this this guy this Gal. She's a great. He's a great kid. He's a united. And that's not it's deference to the other kids but there's kids standouts riding gross state all s that's future leader but when you're west point and you're interviewing athletes teams. They're all that great kit really because these are future leaders. You know these are the ones that you they. They didn't come to play sports. They came to serve their country. Yes did was sports avenue to become a cadet sure but at the end of the day. They're not going to west point just because that's not pretending to play because they then choose a ton of other schools to do that so I think that really hits you and it and it really humbles you when you see you know the the sacrifices that these athletes are GonNa make and I think that goes back to when we had an athletic director. Several years ago said this and it's always stuck with me where you know when you have. I don't know how it is in every other school but at West Point. You know we know what's ahead of these kids when they graduate so it's even more incumbent upon us to give them the greatest experience they can have while they're student athletes while they're connect- athletes. So I think it just makes you feel like you're part of a bigger call him. You know something bigger than a you know what you would think of being a radio guy. Play by play guy would be so that's That's that's our captures me. And what's what's kept me there as long as it has. Probably one of the most exciting government paid jobs out the government employees. Right technically I am. Yes. So that's one of the best jobs I'll tell you it's a it's a it's a rush. It's it's just a great. It's just a great place to be in some great just amazingly great Minnaso- do you get a chance to meet some of the kids. The athletes the students they're sharp. Yeah you interview them. Allot your meat off of families too. I think that's what that's like. Strike is well. You know we'll be on the road football game at this past year. We were down at Georgia state and the night before we were in ops. That's in Atlanta our APP to eat and we with radio crew do not Friday night meal and we see players families. You know coming up recognizing US and just talking and how much they go to every game at travel across the country and what it means to them and and it's funny because I think Play Division One Sports College Sports I don't really. I'm not really close with anyone right now. Who who who did where I knew them. When did that but you know it's funny like you have is you have. And they're a division one athlete or a college athlete. You're going to be so proud of them. But then when they're a West Point Cadet. You know it's funny. I'm not sure these parents what they're more proud of that land division college football or their West Point. That's really it you know. It's truly the best of the best. It's two things where each of those two independent of each other are like. Some of the most amazing thing that family can experience and how `bout boat being a cadet future leader of America. Oh and also by the way he's Playing Division One football team which won eleven games and Games nationally right. So it's it's pretty cool to stabilize rich. What about you do you call a spring sport? I know you do football and basketball. Is there a spring you do? I did baseball for fifteen years and then a couple of years ago Just you know with with workload with family with that whole balance and everything just that you know. Have we have another full on stamps? Act Daily actually were made. He does a lot arlen sports at his job. He took over a baseball in twenty eighteen. So or twenty nine thousand nine hundred twenty eight so yeah that was so really Basketball takes me into March and then I got whether it's licensing or overseen some video oven and live events stuff like that count will take me through into this summer to one football against it. Are you play by player? Color play-by-play all right. Do you prefer Pella over color? I mean do you guys do them wrestling to figure out I? I don't I I prefer play by. Play and color is very very hard to do. And then have so much information at your thing. I think I have a lot of information by fingertips I think from a color commentator. enable figure out what happened. How it happened was your originated. That kind of thing I I prefer. Forgive play by play so I had a stupid catchphrase in college. When I was calling play by play hoster basketball was anytime somebody hit a three. I would say three Mendes and I thought I was pretty cool and then you know Marty Glickman famous Marty Glickman Who ESSENTIALLY WAS MARV? Albert's Mentor so he was coaching kids at Fordham Broadcasting and hostile and Fordham would play each other law. So when I was calling the game he was actually in the next chair. You know kind of listening to the broadcast but he overheard me say three. Mendes and he said Kid. You may want to stop that. You sound like a Schmuck so rich. We're can we hear you when you're calling games? Is it on regular radio station or are you streaming so we are a football games? We have an eighteen station network across the country. We're out of New York City on a w MCA five seventy And nine seventy all. The games were five. Seventy nine seventy that's stationed in New York City Eighteenth Station Network and then we're SIRIUSXM and And also in tune to the tune in APP. It's funny how you know. Internet is taking over everything right and apps where you have the tune it now. I mean you don't have to worry about losing signal or you know where you are. Whatever having a radio tune in APP on your phone just gets the game one hundred percent and then our voices on network fixing something the radio so we got folks listening around the world. While you're at catchphrase. When I do or we sign on I D. Say A ball Throughout the Hudson Valley across the nation and around the world the Army Black Knights. I just think that's important because that that shows the Q. Football that's I mean. You know I've seen as funny. I was speaking last year. And said you know? I think it's Aradio Guide and Adam and play guy in you'd appreciate this from you know what you call play by play and stuff where. I've always said that the the greatest the greatest compliment you can get is if you're play by play and you're somewhere let's say after a game or you know months later at a fanged comes up to you and it's like wow atom you'll rich how is. Dr And I couldn't get to the game. I was listening. Ceo You're my eyes and ears and And Imagine you know I've had folks that are serving that we're serving in Afghanistan or Germany Comeback Cmih at a luncheon senior dinner and be like. Hey you know what that Oklahoma Game You know. We were in Afghanistan. We got we listened to what we were listening to you. So I'd say like net greatest compliments. It can't get any better than folks. Hannett like would oversee though we kind of play by play job absolutely which leads us into a probably our final question about sports because we are a family. Show talk about dads. You got to help us out. Help US understand this army navy thing. I mean that is over the top. What is it like when you're out there Either in the stands or the football game or basketball game that hold army navy Rivalry what's it like for you a? Oh it's something it's something everyone asks experience you'll be the army navy. Football game is is one of those games and this is probably the best way to put it. Is You know you can so like. Let's say the Iron Bowl. Let's say Alabama Auburn. Let's say Do Carolina basketball. Let's say that the big game same for Chow. There's X. amount of people that are at those games that are they're just straight fans like if I went to an iron ball. I just be rooting for a good game. Right I'D WANNA go down I would just but but this is what I'll say. I think every single person has a connection to either army navy today served. They had a grandfather who was in the war that family member they have. They have a sister. They sister-in-law sister's boyfriend that served in one of those so I will say is I don't know if there's a game where the percentage of people in the stadium have a rooting interest. One way or another. You know there really aren't casual fans at Army Navy. You're there rooting for army navy. Is Your family your at rb family. A Navy Family. You know someone on one of the teams that serve so that's probably the best lead put it works all sixty five thousand. People have rooting interest. You take any other will regain there's going to be x amount of corporate people there that are just there to see a good game. Corporate people that are in an army navy game have affiliation or connection to one of the if not academies branches of service and. I think that's what makes it as special as it is. Every single person in. That stadium is rooting for one of the two teams. And I don't know if you could say that at any other rivalry game. Although I I just felt badly for air force I mean like the stepchild all the way out there in Colorado Springs. I mean it's a nice nice campus. I've been there. It's pretty but I mean but they're like a step child. I mean there's no there's no rivalry there's NO RB air force. No one cares army navy. I'm just saying I'm just just my two cents in the Air Force is part of the orbit right. Yeah Great Army players. They not brackets. You went on to great for that. Was THE ARMY Air Corps for four weddings pilots up? Well and it's always good to sing. Second Right Oh yeah. That's that's the way there's t shirts you sell t shirts that say was trying to find a t shirt. When I saw at the Army Navy basketball game they didn't have one in my size being the retail guy. You gotTa Hook a brother up I will. I will find something. Don't worry client right now. Who's out in South Korea He's army he's a medic is a doctor out South Korea and we talk Every week he's been quarantined forever It he was just on a an blackhawks. Copter shooting in this. It's it's crazy With these young men go through it. I don't think most people in this country have no way to serve the military and what they now an but we think we think those but do absolutely rich as as coach said it's a family show. It's a show about dad. Tell us a little bit about your family Your boy your wife and what you like to do as a family to beautiful kids they're They're they're twins they're going to be seven on. May Thirteenth. I'm Jay Dee. We're going to be married twelve years in July. You know it's funny we talk. Thank you talk about. You know we talk about all these interesting things at West Point and everything and I couldn't do it without my wife. She's the sacrifices she's made with and you don't sad. It's nights and weekends right when you when you graduate college and you want to go into broadcasting in the works on nights and weekends relaunch always told me that's one sentence. Mutual would always say that. So you know what she would. She Ito know from watching the kids. Taking care of them on the weekends. Taken them up to the gains. Novak kind of thing. I couldn't do any of this. You know without her support. But you know it's a busy. It's a busy year. You know in regards to the the time commitments and everything you know. Both boys were taekwondo. They they moved up to purple belts. Obviously now with everything going on right now. Not Much Organized sports lies to get him into right now. But we love to love to vacation in Cape Cod Just Just it it's still amazing. Kids as you guys know. Just I'm just seeing their interests and I think a lot back to you know things. I was interested in it as a kid when I was like watching. Super Bowl highlight films. Like twenty hours a day if I could in everything and in seeing your kids interests and really getting excited about those is one of the coolest things that I've experienced like one of my one of my son. One of our sons is loves. These these bay blade toys right. These spin. Gyro spin pause so we made we made a little bracket and we didn't competition between all that you don't get to a champion and everything. I think the coolest thing is it seeing their interest in becoming interested in those things instead of maybe trying to force things that I'm interested in maybe I'd like if they watch for that would it be that but for sting's onto the next. That's really that's really rewarding. Are they regulars on the West Point? Campus they join you at all. When you're callings yeah they they'll come up to you know as as all weather and everything. Obviously there's a lot with the when it gets cold and everything but they're definitely up there and You know they come to games and they just thought enjoy I mean they. They both WanNa will one day. Didn't want to have a lot of different. But YOU KNOW THEY WANNA. They definitely love of seeing officers. They have a lot of respect. They understand some of the things that folks in the army do which I think is important for them where You know they. They understand folks that are that are protecting our freedom you know. People are in the army making sure that we're safe and and this country's protected and I really get A. They have respect understand that which is really important and you know they talk a helicopter pilot being in the army and protecting login. You hear that you gotta be really proud now cross fingers. God Willing Happen. But if it doesn't happen you know it doesn't happen but to have them Understand things like that at the age at ninety even seven yet is is really cool because I seven years old Fully understand what folks in the armed services do so. What are you doing with him at home? Now you have to go. I'm just I'm just. I'm projecting seven Arnold Boys your home. Quarantine are you bouncing off the walls yet? Pretty much yeah. Wife are sort to work fulltime and then and then they have classes. They're doing zoom meetings with their teachers and stuff and then You know we've been. We've been playing some games. They've been out of a Washington. Tv probably more than they should Right now but they're hanging I'll tell you they're They're probably becoming. I was just saying this to my wife and I were coming Pretty well on the computer student. Pretty good job on that. Were you know when this thing started with? Over a month ago there was still like looking products websites. They can pretty much navigate all these websites themselves. I'm not I don't know if that's good or a bad thing. But after history just check the history questionable sites that are being thrown about now with a seven year old boys. No doubt was a seven-year-old boy if he had the Internet back then Oh oh the. Try to get into so coach. Why don't you tell rich about our little segment here? Cold Dad Vice. Yes Sir if this has been great and this will be love what we do here with a bad to the dad. We have This this part of our our episode our podcast as we add. Gaspard Dad Vice. It's our it's our unique phrase of advice for Dads so then he kinda dead ways you provide listeners. Love love to listen to what you have to say. There's no boundaries. Anything that comes to mind in terms of Dan Vice for our listeners. I think it's something you know. I learned that that that my dad did with me and I think it's just if if your kids are having fun doing something that's Great. It's not a competition. It's not that they have to be the best at anything or push them to a sport. Make them do different things you know. What if they're having fun? That's the name of the game so if one of them's having fun playing bay blades. The other wants to play basketball. You know what that's that's awesome. They're winning and I think you just just having kids figure out. What makes them happy? Have them do it is? Is I think the best thing because I think once you start forcing things or you know saying I'll have to do this have to do that. I think you start getting into it you. You never wanted. I never wanted to be. I don't think anyone wants to be someone that lives through their kids in that. You're forcing them to do things. I want to sports. But there's a lot of parents that do that. I WANNA live through. I'm GonNa live through my kids by loving what they love to do instead of having them do what I love to do and I think that's the thing that I that I think of a lot. I just there's anything I want. I'm AF- reading about is I want to know what those things they wanna do. But I think you know just just just having them have fun and living through them with what makes them happy. That's I think that's that's the name of the game to me instead of saying I'll make sure you're an announcer. Make sure you're into sports or or these kinds of things that's not. That's not for anybody. I had my time to figure that out. It's their times it to figure out what they want it for you. Demarco is just an athletic director and voice The Army Black Knights on several radio outlets rich. It was great catching up. We're going to have to have you come back on because we probably have another good hour or more in us just to talk about broadcasting and Broadcasting Sports. This was Just a heck of a lot of fun and we're so glad that you're able to make time to join us here on on bad to the dead while anytime and x-rate reconnecting with you. Adam Randy awesome and anything. Y'All need of love to see up at West Point for a game. Let me know if you ever want to come up and be there anytime anytime. I could do anything for you. Guys absolutely Anna and thanks again. Thank you so much for having me. We are bad to the DAD. Download US wherever you find. Podcast WE are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de you can find us on social media pretty much. All of our social media handles have bad to the dead so we're pretty easy to find on twitter on facebook and of course on instagram. Which is where I just have a lot of fun playing around with pictures and memes and the wording and every day I learn something new from instagram. Being my daughter. She's super when I learned it all from you're you're not an it team and then of course we have a website because if you don't have a website you're not really a thing and ours is easy enough to remember. It's www dot bad to the dad dot com where you can see pictures of us and after seeing us you still. WanNa stick around. You'll see pictures of our S and learn about upcoming episodes and back episodes. People are listening to the fact episode is amazing at Mt People. Don't just current there we're getting. We're getting hits on the repeats. We should go into the -cation we'd be making bank if you had syndication well that's sort of what streaming is getting paid for it but we thank you the listener if you're going back in your size and we have. Yeah we have some episodes that are reaching five hundred listeners. Just an episode. I don't have anything to go on. But it sounds impressive. Anyone beyond randy our families that are listening. That is a miracle gravy. Thank you listeners. For sticking with us at eighteen thousand total downloads. So that's I know six people so let's hundred times each week. Not these people are all my friends. If you only have six springs in these these are all my friends and you and Michelle or two of them. Which isn't saying much for you but could be in. The warm confines of your network is very very cool. WanNa thank rich demarco again for the and I'm bad to the data was great. Reuniting reminiscent with him he. He's he's a talent you know I. I know a lot of people in radio have come up through. The ranks is another guy who's made really really good for himself. Great job and a great employer. Sounds like a wonderful family and like everybody else. They're just making the best of it but Just just cool to hear historian how he got involved with with Army West Point which I mean what he's doing you're calling games on the radio for army way points. Cutting one of the coolest job forget government jobs in the country. It's really easier but so is it given where you are. Now you're happy. It successfully family is a little bit the kind of things about you know what if I could've been a contender. No I think I mean the right role. I've always had the business bug and even I was broadcasting. I knew this the business bug was gonNA bite. You know it was going to be something. People oriented some human resources doing learning and Development. Kinda harnessing that radio background but just doing different way Networking with people. That's always been my shtick. So the talent acquisition the recruiting side. It's a it's a natural play for me so there are things I've taken away from broadcasting that I apply to my job but I I'm in the right place and get scratched. My Broadcasting Niche. With with what we're doing here on beds of the day. I I'm doing it not for the money. I'm doing it because we're just having a good time doing it. I was afraid you're say about scratching something else so I was expecting a different kind of scratch. But you're scratching broadcasting. Thank you thank you for. Not Turning off your mental editor coach. I'm so glad you continue to be. It's a gift really. It's just a talent that I have. It is a great guest that we we have next week. We absolutely do in. We're really in the home stretch for the season but don't worry we'll be back with specials around father's Day in the fourth of July but as you know coach we got no baseball. We got no baseball. The player in my heart baseball because awful. It is awful. I got NO BASEBALL TO GO TO US. Supposed to take my daughter to opening day for the other team in. New York called the mets might be purchased they might be purchased by a Rod. Jaylo fine Whatever good luck yes so we. We have a unique. I know we had an artist already on this season in Booey Lurssen. Brian love to pink the female form. So we've got a bit of a different artist. Paul Jenness and his big project. Now you'll really like this. Is Painting Baseball Cards? Oh that's right. Yes yes yes yes. So he's he's done You should go to facebook. Page all post and stuff on our social media site good Paul Genesis on facebook. How do you it's p. l. o? Jenness J. E. N. N. Yeah You will see kind of like a speed time painting of doing Aaron Judge or jury. Now the there'll be a baseball card Reprint series for this Aaron Judge Painting but the original print instantly went for just about a thousand bucks. Oh this is an artist who still alive genesis. P J E N N I S. He is a phenomenal painter. He painted the portrait for Governor. Richard Codey who do your gubernatorial stint in New Jersey yes he has painted some amazing collectibles for the Bradford Exchange Gone With the wind. I know there are some folks who love old idea. I don't give a damn well. I think you're gonNA give a damn about Paul Genesis because he's a wildly talented painter and artist and we're going to learn about how he got an art but how he landed this project for tops cards and how you can get some of these limited edition tops cards to get over the top. The only thing that we didn't get this week No emails no nothing. You GotTa said this year your messages your emails contact us at Bads the dead. Come on folks contact us at the dead. We look forward to miss them lately though. I'm just giving a shout out. You know all right so your questions your guest ideas anything that you WanNa talk about advice you WanNa ask about data vice versa dad by US contact us at bad to the DAD dot com coach. Randy it has been a pleasure. I wish you a safe and healthy and happy week and Dads who are listening. Be Safe be healthy. Be Away from me because I don't WanNa millions and then six feet of you and have a great week.

Adam Randy DAD Adam Adam Adam West Point Football US Facebook baseball Army Becky Berman Basketball army navy director New York City Berman Brandon Michelle Jessica Danielle Adam de Army Black Knights adams
Butterflies Are A Warning With Dr. Laura Berman

The Viall Files

1:35:06 hr | 2 weeks ago

Butterflies Are A Warning With Dr. Laura Berman

"People call it trash tv a guilty pleasure. But what if. I told you that reality. Tv is a time capsule of our culture that the racism we see on the real world or the sexism lucy on the bachelor it reflects the moment where and whether we like it or not for me on home media. This is spectacle an unscripted history of reality. Tv hosted meet mariah. Smith subscribe nap. Well what is going on everybody. Happy wednesday to you. All i am neck. Your host chrissy is with me right now We we actually decided to rerecord this in We are excited For this episode. In our guest dr laura berman Who is here to talk with us about all things relationships sex dating and specifically valentine's day in how we can make the best of our valentine's regardless of our relationship status or our situation We recorded this episode. Last friday and The reason why a recording on this show today is that Very tragically and it's very sadly after we recorded this episode dr Berman's son tragically an unexpectedly passed away over the weekend. And i don't know the specific day but It's been in the news and it's something we wanted to With her blessing. I guess just Let you guys know. I'm from a timing standpoint. We certainly we didn't We don't wanna make this tragedy happen. And then almost dr berman was in the studio podcasting with us but you know with her permission and her blessing She was Still okay with us releasing this episode mostly because it's a positive episode and you know valentine's day can be tougher for a lot of people and a lot of things that dr laura and i talked about we thought were inspirational and inspiring and Could be helpful. So we wish dr berman. Our thoughts our prayers and in this very difficult and tragic time for her family and our hearts go out to her but yeah so Thanks for listening. I hope you guys do enjoy this episode. Police end dr berman. Your best wishes and prayers her way. don't forget to send in your questions at ask. Nick academy dot com. Oh we we do have some valentine's day merch out there we. We even have a valentine's day special for a march if you are interested Code alone for twenty percent off that we'd have some with the code so check that out at val fouls dot com. That's it. I don't you know i think let's get to dr berman and again. I hope you guys enjoy this episode. F happy early. Valentine's day out there for all the people and i hope This episode will inspire you to have a healthier approach regardless to what your relationship situation is dr laura bruins. Thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to to chat. We love our relationship experts on this show Of which you are and have been doing this for some time now so so thank you for joining. Thanks i'm really happy to be here. Valentine's day valentine's. I always very sensitive about how my enunciate valentines valentines no. I don't i say valentine's but i mumble so like it's it's a now. I have to enunciate. Do you ever have that problem felon not with no valentine's day like my super super bowl. I mean it is or semi dash. I'm so busy this time of year. And so yeah. I don't have problems so much other things. I have a problem enunciating but now day better. I have to actively of the end in valentine's day. Anyway that you have trouble saying it why do you. Let's dive right that. What what could that possibly mean on. Its own it doesn't mean anything. And i'm no expert on you. Although i certainly have watched the bachelor i think there may be a connection there. That's all i that's all i'll say so far but let's keep talking probably say more but sometimes when you have trouble pronouncing a specific word that has a lot of meaning. There is an unconscious resistance to claiming that meaning. I'm in trouble. I mean this is not even three minutes two seconds. I can't pronounce it. I can't talk so the valentine's day is your super bowl. Obviously a lot of thoughts and opinions about today a lot of people will get discouraged Especially people who don't find themselves in relationships. Also people who find themselves in relationships will be discouraged by it because of some building expectations. What are your overall views on the day. Do you like it. Do you keeps you busy busy busy. Anything that's about love. I love. I know a lot of people say oh. It's a hallmark holiday. You know whatever you know. And i agree that everyday should be valentine's day but lord knows it isn't because none of us are that good at it So the fact that there's one day to kind of really focus on love i think is really valuable. And you're absolutely right that people You know who aren't in a relationship or who are unhappy in their relationships. You know this is a day that can be hard but it's also to me an opportunity to get really really clear whether you're in a relationship that it isn't great or you really wanna call levin's your life. It's the time you can still focus on love in terms of what you really want to create. Moving forward for anyone i guess. What's the healthiest way to start thinking about so anyone who's listening to this. Valentine's day is less than a week away. What is a kind of a healthy approach to looking at the day regardless of the romantic situation. You find yourself in no matter. What your romantic situation as you know unless you're like really really struggling and totally emotionally isolated. You have some love in your life. Even if it's with your pets you know. And so this is a time to really marinate yourself as much as possible in in that love and connection and obviously if you can with another human being mets even better but sometimes it's just your cat or your dog or your turtle and i think the main thing is if you are unhappy in love meaning you really wanna bring someone in or you wanna change your relationship. I don't like new year's resolutions. I just have a thing about it. I you know whenever keeps them. But i love vow. I love like relationship resolutions. And so i like to use valentine's day not to get clear on like You know i'm i'm gonna find a man or a woman or whatever but to get super super clear and this is the key of of you know what i found what i've been writing about and teaching about you know Is that. It's about getting super clear on not the qualities you want in your love life but really how you wanna feel and your love life and if you focus on that let me ask you are you. Are you currently in a thing. Yeah i'm gonna thing okay. So are you going to celebrate valentine's day. I believe you can't say it. I believe we are. I've been informed that valentine's day gift has been purchased for myself. And have you purchased hers yet okay. I haven't thought about it. They still time I'm not. I'm not a i'm not the best gift giver. Not my love language. I do think that i do actually in atlanta. Excuse practice the idea of being. Every day i always like. I don't wait for a special day to try to do special really doing that. Or is that a cop out. Like which i really do special things. Yeah okay so are. There is a time like this. Is you know we were out shopping. And she tried on something. I could tell she really liked it and i don't like buying things for people because it like i i don't feel like i don't like the idea of like i'm buying love but Gifts isn't your love language. Sure yes so resist. I'm resistant to it so But she's trying it on. She looked at the price tag. She thought to herself. You know. I'm not the may maybe not the right time so i just grabbed it bought far and she know what her language of love is yet what she really liked. Words of formation. It'd be her top one quality time. We're pretty similar. So how are you with writing writing Define like you know. Could you write. She's about affirmation. Could you write her something about what she means to you or could you make a little year resistant to this relationship. You haven't fully committed yet. I can tell is. I'm having i'm resistant to talking about. Okay all right so let's just just just the difference in your terms. It'll be the second time in a week we've actually ever talked about. Were on the podcast. Talk specifically. let's talk with far. It's fun okay. So how when you think about what you really want to create with her or just in love in general what would you say. I mean ideally five. But let's start with three way three feelings like with her. That if you could design your perfect relationship with her with anyone how would you feel day in and day out you know. Would it be passionate playful. Joyful cherished appreciated protected safe protected dave up there. okay Appreciate to guess at preaching. Appreciate it and passionate sure those. Those are definitely for me. As i've gotten older right and relationships i really value The ability to be myself and have an environment in which we both can truly be ourselves without criticism were judgement so accept. It accepts an acceptance. And when you feel accepted you feel loved okay man. We often try to avoid having tough conversations both and relationships and our financial situations and while hopefully this episode is helping you address some of your relationship problems. We are also here to help with some of your financial struggles is well you know. Credit cards and upstart is here to help us with some of our credit card problems. 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Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit score income and certain other information provided in your loan. Application upstart dot com slash v. I a. l. l. fork. Yeah sex toys all right well. Hey we've been talking about sex toys this episode. So get that stimulation in the bedroom. And as we've learned for dr laura berman. Hey listen sex toys. Are there just to help the pleasure right help you reach it and it doesn't replace the many our lives but it gives them the boost. They might need to make sure that you are reaching your maximum pleasure. It's perfect for valentine's day coming up fifty percent off almost any item. So whether you got someone argued all alone. Sex toys earned the perfect complement to your sexual dreams and desires. Free stuff is the best but free stuff that will ignite. Your valentine's day is even better so check it out when you go to adam and eve dot com and select almost any one item. You'll get it for fifty percents off. That's amazing all by itself but here where they load on the free stuff great when you enter my exclusive code at checkout vi l. l. Not only get fifty percent off the one item. You'll also get ten tantalizing free items. A free three item mystery him something for her and something. You'll enjoy together. Six free movies and free shipping just use code v. i a. l. at dot com. Don't forget to use the code v. i l. at adam and eve dot com so head on over to adam even dot com and be sure to use the code vi again that is a lv l. Because without it there will be no free valentine's day stuff and not sucks so those are the kinds of things you know when i talk about relationship resolutions. That's what i'm talking about is getting really clear inside yourself first. How it is that you really really wanna feel. And then whether you're in a relationship or not really making a commitment over the next year to create as much of that feeling in yourself as well as in your relationship so if you were single and one of the ways that you really wanted to feel was Appreciated let's say right then. You would be looking for opportunities to express and receive appreciation all over the place you know not just in relationship you would be looking to be in the energy of appreciation as much as possible and what we now know from quantum physics. And you know that's the science behind the law of attraction and everything else is. That feelings is really the key. So if you spend even fifty one percent of your time in places and situations where you feel appreciated and can express appreciation and marinate an appreciation. You start noticing that people show up in your life and respond to you in really appreciative ways including potential partners. If you're single or your present partner You know. That's what i call quantum love. That was my last book. But it's like a whole it's all about being in the feeling of that what you wanna create. And that's really where the relationship resolutions start and then you can start creating some action items from there for the people approaching valentine's day. You're just you're trying to set a manifest destiny so to speak right. You're trying to manifest environment which you hope to have any type of relationship in any tight your especially in a love relationship so it's not if you're single. It's not about focusing. Okay i you know. I want a guy who's this tall. And who and you don't want you know not even about saying i want a guy who's going to be faithful to me. It's how would you feel if you were with a guy who you knew was unequivocally faithful to you. Can you move yourself into even just imagining how that would feel inside your body. I love that you said it validates. I feel like the thing. Sometimes i tell our callers of is that we we spend a lot of time. I hate the list building right. I want to college graduate. Or he doesn't have tattoos or she doesn't smoke. It's like i guess those are all nice but you know how do they make you feel is often. Something is surprising how many people don't like ask themselves that when they're kind of evaluating someone they've been on a few dates within their considering moving forward investing in that relationship and they have never asked themselves like hotwheel. How do i feel like more worried about them either. Liking them or some kind of you know these lists kind of qualities of like who like. I'd like his job. He's passionate about his jaw or he makes me laugh. I guess that's a field that's nice but but they're still all even those qualities that even those things that they are saying they want. They're still looking for a feeling they just are unconsciously imagining that if they have a guy or a woman who doesn't smoke or who is a college graduate that that will create an outcome and then they'll be able to feel a certain way so instead of getting so specific which is going to limit your possibilities and also great limitations on love get really really clear further down the road like if you had a guy who was a college graduate what would that mean for you and most importantly then how would you feel but at the same time i think it does come. It seems to work against people sometimes because l. You'll hear a lot of people say like a really like this person but it bugs me that they do this or they or this is their job and it comes across as kind of you know petty silly and everything's i'm so excited i'm happy but it just it bugs me they get over it. You know that'd be nice. I would approach it a little differently. I would go in there with them and say okay this thing that bugs you. What's your story about what it says about you about the life. You're going to have together about how you're gonna feel day in and day out because the reason a bugs them is because they have some story. sometimes it's even unconscious about what that means for them and for their life. well listen. I don't care if it's valentine's day or it's tuesday sometimes. We just need to talk to someone to help ourselves with our mental health. In sometimes we Are struggling sometimes. It is having a bad day but healthcare professionals that better help provides makes it easy for you to talk to a professional licensed therapist just when you need it. It can be scary sometimes to seek out mental health help from a healthcare professional. 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That is is like an expectation. They've had for themselves an expectation they've had and it's almost like I like to call them stories because we all have stories and the come from our beliefs that got gotten planted early in life about who we are. And what's possible in love if since we're talking about love and then from there we sort of like you and i could both go outside and it would be raining right and i could for me. Rain could be cozy and yummy. Like the best thing ever. And so. I'll go outside and be like. Oh my god. It's raining because my story is that rain means coziness yummy for you. Let's say rain. You know was when your dad would get drink home all day and get abusive or something right and so. I'm not saying mashed potatoes. Let's say and then you go outside and you know you see. It's raining and for you. Your story is that rain means danger and you hate it when it rains right so everyone is really different and getting clear on your story about what these qualities mean to you. You know i think is how you get over them because once you recognize the story you can all often say well. That's frigging ridiculous. I don't really feel that. I don't think that and then you can start to unwind it but it's hard to just get over it when you walk although it'd be nice if the story thing is amazing i used to do that with with somebody and would be like the story telling myself is this. Oh i do that helps communication so it really helps and i know that's one of the best ways to communicate and relationships. I mean that's how. I communicate with my husband when i'm pest story i'm telling myself or what i'm just feeling insecure like the store. I'm telling myself as you walk behind me up the stairs that my ass looks really big now. Because i'm self conscious pursue that it really works. It really works crazy because of anything. Just claiming my story he can't and if we're in an argument you know my story is that you did this because of that. I'm not saying you did this because of that. I'm saying i have a story about that. So if someone says that in a relationship the story i'm telling myself is that i'm losing my hair. You know as a guy you know guy says to his wife like what's the best way to handle that when your partner expresses it insecurity that have mainly on have anything to do with you like your ass. You think your looks better. You would say the same kind of thing he said to me. He's like to me. You're asked is perfect. I don't know if it's bigger or smaller. I don't monitor that. And i don't want to but i think your cell right and you could say the same thing to someone you know. I can't unless they really are balding right and it's obvious to all of you but if it's just you know what happens if that is the case is i mean you just own it if it's if it's a story and you can both visually see that the guys got no hair than you can say that you know. Maybe it's falling out. I don't know really but you know what losing your hair is actually a symptom of having really high pasta-roni which means you're very rural so actually. It's a sexy as i look at knicks. Full head of just kidding. he's a. He's a sensitive new age. Guy was told by my doctor. Last december that. I have the stone of a twenty-three-year-old. Oh very nice small. Throw that out there just in case anyone you know you talk a lot about the fear rejection. We talk a lot about that on. This podcast and i have said to people that especially early on in relationships. A big way to advance us. Relationship is to address this fear. Be okay be okay. With sometimes hearing the disappointment because being afraid to be disappointed sometimes causes us to avoid conversations. Avoid topics We don't wanna define the relationship because we're you know i don't ask then i won't keep hanging out an hour and we conscious seem to avoid questions that we should be asking especially early in dating situations and we don't because we're just afraid of what the answer might be and clarity while scary is often our best friend advancing relationships and just wondering if you have anything more to to to how do we do address our fears. And how do we put it in practice especially in valentine's day. Maybe there's People listen to podcasts. Have been hanging out with a guy for a few weeks and valentine's day is around the corner and they they wanna give a gift or maybe this is a great opportunity check in and they're just afraid to do it. How can we address these fears. Well okay so let's just talk in general terms for a second and then we'll go to valentine's day in general terms you know i love that lyric from That pink song. we're not broken just bent. We can learn to love again Because the heart doesn't break benz and and each heartbreak and so we're we most of us spend our lives so freaking scared of having our heartbroken when the truth is i can absolutely with one hundred percent assure. You know shirt shirty guarantee you. You're going to have your heartbroken several times in your life. Maybe not in love but in in other ways and if you haven't i'm more concerned about like what's wrong with what where's your heart has stopped you from going for what has stopped. You have gone for it in a job or with an illness or with a death or you know you're gonna have your heartbroken. No matter how much you try to protect it it will fricken break and it will break many times but it doesn't really break it just bends and what you find the best way to get over. Fear of rejection is to experience rejection. Time you do you have your heartbroken. If you're open to that then what happens. Is that what. I find time and time again is that you realise. Yeah you're gonna lick your wounds. You're going to feel like crap for a little while you may curl up into a ball but then you'll be okay. You won't die you won't disappear. Your heart actually gets stronger. You learn things about yourself. You learn things about what you want out of love and it's that much better. The next time and said the best cure is really and taking that leap and recognizing that it's not gonna kill you and then each time you survive it and you realize that the little heart cracks or where the light gets through you know then you get less and less afraid. I guarantee you that each time you take a risk. It won't necessarily turn out perfectly. You know you gotta be prepared for that. But that's part of the purpose. Is there anything specific that someone like an expert like kind of like what you said before you know. I've said this before as well. But i you know a lot of times. I'm sure you've experienced you. Give advice. sounds great person. Here's the advice. Sounds great and then the you know they got off the phone or they go home definitely. Don't take advice. Hotta we start small right so maybe you know your biggest fear of rejection is in love right so take a little risk at work or with a friend or with a stranger. If you're really scared of rejection really care about right you know or that you're not even attracted to but practice in stakes situations first and then maybe practice with someone you're kind of into but you're not one hundred percent sure in your heart's not one hundred percent like open to them and then you can work your way up that that can be really valuable in the other thing. That's that's underneath. All of that is that you know almost always if not always when we are living with that kind of fear of rejection it's because of painful rejections and traumatic abandonments. That happened much earlier in life. And so if you're really struggling with that and you have a really hard time taking those risks chances. Are you have a little bit of work. You can do to address those earlier. Traumas and the way that you kind of internalized. Low self worth. Which is really. What's underneath fear of rejection. And and you know he'll some of that and as you do then once again you separate out the story that i'm not worthy the fact that You know the story that. I have that i'm not really worthy of love or that. I'm not gonna survive. The rejection isn't really about the adult person i am now. That's really the eight year old talking. Who who's watched her dad drive away and never come back or said he'd be back next weekend and you know all of a sudden i was with his new family. And you know. They're all of these things that happen to us that we internalize process and then we carry that into our love relationships. We're all this complicated. You talk a lot about attachment styles. We've talked about it as a show a while ago with a guest that we had and I think it's a good refresher for audience to discuss attachments. I i didn't know anything about it until maybe about a year and a half ago. I found it to be really fascinating. How how can we. You know like love languages as like a thing and and that's pretty a pretty simple idea and there's like a quiz we can go on and figure out like what our love languages How do we become more educated when it comes to like attachment styles in. Can you give us a refresher on what that even is so that kind of be aware of it in our relationships i like to think of it more like a tendency attendance tendency that some of us have more of a tendency but others based on those earlier life. It's all based on the earlier life experiences when it comes to attachment style. Yeah we can blame for everything. The sort of ideal which most of us don't have because very few of us learned how to love or healthy model of that growing up Is a secure attachment right so the way i like to categorize at the easiest way to understand is how you feel about. Do you feel positively or negatively around your own worth kind of thing about yourself about the other person's to someone who has a secure attachment tendency is someone who feels like they are worthy of love. They feel good about themselves and they feel that others you know are worthy of love as well and you know are good are going to not hurt them for the most part and they can expect to be loved right. That's something that we learn. Automatically early in life is based on. How we were treated can expect to be loved back when i love or not right so someone with secure attachment style tendency would feel secure about themselves good about themselves and good about others someone with more of an anxious attachment tendency That would be more. What you hear about as the co dependent in its extreme form. Just when i. I don't know how much of it is real or not but when i saw you on the bachelor i would say if you aren't secure if anything. You're anxious ten tendency because the anxious attachment feels you know builds the other up more than themselves. So they'll feel positively about the other and less positively about themselves. So that's the person that may Not have the best boundaries get into relationships with people who don't necessarily treat them. Well have fears that they're going to be abandoned in their extreme. You know. I'm not saying this describes you but if you find that you tend to put more Value on the other person yourself right and in its extreme form. You have huge fears of abandonment. In you're really insecure and you're really clingy. And all that right. That's the then. There's the avoidance style right which is More of you know in its extreme form what we would think of as nurses. That's someone who feels really good about themselves but everyone else sucks you know not not literally but like worthiness of love is right and so. They're avoiding opening their heart or leading lovin because same thing it's about protection know. It's because it's also i can tell you based even on where the wounds happened right like so someone who's got An anxious attachment usually they were a little bit older when they got abandoned or overly criticized or whatever else by those key caretakers than the person who is more narcissistic right the narcissistic style person. Who feels you know. Kind of build himself up but everyone else Is less than that is like an ongoing early life you know. Usually they were pretty emotionally or physically abused And then there's the fearful style right and that someone who experienced like a lot of trauma and very early very very early. It started so they weren't you know picked up when they were neglected. Basically and that's someone who we would you know diagnosed and it's extreme as borderline right so they feel negatively about themselves and everyone else and they're all over the place and they love you one minute and are destroying you the next and they want you they push you away like those of the most dangerous people to have a relationship with If there really in that but we all have tendencies and all of these. Yeah i mean that because the way you're describing and that's when i just like a lot of people watch reality. Tv shows and start. You know diagnosing. People on tv show about their tendencies or whatever roaches as someone who's been on the show frustrating and annoying but yes. We all seem like we all have you talk. It's like. I'm sure there's been moments where i've acted a certain way or i have shown a tendency you mentioned the anxious part of something that seems to be developed Later in life for example like a lot of people. I talked to her and through my own experience if someone like in eighteen nineteen twenty there. I love first real relationship and off. First heartbreak can can elicit a lot of pain. Because i've i i was kind of joked the reason why we say things when we experience her first heartbreak. It's like i won't survive this. This is going to kill me or feels that way because you never felt before. So you're dislike. I have no. I have nothing to go back. That will tell me. I'll get over this and then yeah so the second time you have your heart breakers like this fucking sucks. I hurt but you know what i i made it last time. I'll be fine. Like by the time i had my third heartbreak. I was like five. There were no tears sucked. I was sad. But i just had the had. The pre it'll be okay How do we like it. And so many. Into that point. I think heartbreak is a good thing. So how do we go from embracing the heartbreak and learning from it rather than having it Affect us negatively future relationships. Where would become this kind of nervous. person or we avoid relationships. We avoid connecting of with someone in the future. Because you know nicole when we were nineteen broke our hearts thirty. And it's like i can't get roger demanded but when you and i get that call all the time from people you know on my shows is that why can't i get over. You know it's been five years. And i still can't get over this heartbreaker this person and part of me doesn't even want to be with them anymore but i can't get over them right and so i find time and time again when matt as the case it's not about the other person it's what it's it's who that person represents in your life so if you're still stuck years later after a heartbreak on that specific person and i'm not talking about you know a version of what you just said where you're just in general scared apart break but you really can't get over that other person mean that first one's a bug of took me took me seven years over my i saw what now but but it's often the because that person symbolizes someone in your childhood always know okay And an often not with. I love where your i you know but i'm talking about someone who's like okay. I divorced my husband. You know four years ago. He's moved on. I know for the most part. I've moved on but i still can't get i still can't get over. I still think about him. I still or guy will say you know. She left me. But like i still candidate or can't like it's four years and i you know i'm not talking about a seventeen year old. Who's had his first heartbreak Those are the ones that it's about that person. It has become the rejecting mother in their little child's mind or the abandoning father or whoever that was and so so. It's really valuable when you're stuck in that to kind of think about okay. It's not really about that. Per could it not be about that person but what that person represents who that person represents now in general being of this whole idea of sort of Heartbreak in general. It's practice like i said of of recognizing that you can't avoid the heartbreak But it's also about embracing it. So what i do with. People is like take them through a process because that would you resist always persists and so when we try to avoid and escape our pain after a breakup. let's say or a heartbreak. It's just gonna get worse. Part of it is really allowing yourself to be with the pain and recognize. It won't take you over and if you never had practice with that which most of us having because we try to avoid those quote unquote negative feelings. Then you kind of cleared the the muck a little bit and then you can start thinking okay. You know what works in this relationship and what didn't work. What can i learn. Not only from the relationship about what i what more of or less of moving forward but what can i also learn about like what were the strengths of this person but what were some of the things that didn't work. And what are the things that i did in the relationship or didn't do in the relationship which led to this heartbreak. Because i don't care whether that person was the biggest beasts on the planet a relationship is always a dance. You're doing together and so even if your part was in letting them walk all over you you had a part to play. That's something i learned when i was cheated on the first time. humbling experience. I've talked about that a lot where it was a you know i you feel embarrassment and shame and then just like how could do that to me. Lot of ego driven and then it was like well. Okay let's just focus on what i could do different next time which was It was rewarding because it was more like well. Now i can t control something. I felt empowered. Yeah it is in power Because it was like well if someone she then that was their decision. I was just more focused on what i could do. But it's it's definitely was hard to do. You know what. I see a lot and i see this. You know. i've i've gone through this now with a lot of clients but also with a lot of my single girlfriends. Is that as sort coaching them. You start off with like a relate. You know you're you're figuring out what you why you're figuring you're claiming you're worth you're working on your value and then you meet you know in this usually is a guy who has the qualities and everything's working but then as you're building the relationship there all of these issues and problems and it's not quite right and you have a little bit of a heartbreak and it stings. But then the next relationship is even better and the next relationship is even better because if you do that work at the end and you don't just try to get over someone by getting under someone else you know and you don't just like jump right back out there to the rebounds but you take some time to heal and i'll tell you the formula but i use for time if you take that time to heal. Then when you get back out there you're going to attract in someone who is at the next level up right and you're always going to attract someone who reflects your own worth so the better you authentically feel about your own worth the better of equality partner you're going to attract and always what do you mean by that. I mean because i you say that i think i mean i've always been a really confident person and yet and i've dated generally some really nice women. They've all been nice with within that. There's been relationship problems there's been moments for. I didn't like how they treated me. And i'm sure vice versa. But like i always felt like chance or or you know you we you having your you talk a lot about like stop falling for the same mr wrong or mrs wrong right in my case right up into my current relationship every woman i ended in like like people i dated or maybe a couple of months but like serious relationships it. They all had a characteristic of I liked big personalities but with that it felt like it came with a price and that price was when things would get when there will be adversely between us Criticism tended to be mean. And and i would get frustrated but that same kind a spitfire that drew me in initially turned it in kind of Not so healthy. Not pretty for me. You know and i i. It became contentious adversarial Which i again. I'm sure i. I brought to the table because i can just be annoying. And also you chose women who had big personalities but weren't friends with their shadows who what do you mean by that gene. That they hadn't done they weren't self-aware they weren't They didn't have the you know you can be often. The people at the biggest personalities have the lowest self-worth worth you know you attract people which is once again evidence for my theory that you have an anxious attachment tendency because the anxious attachment person will often be really attracted to the avoid in't slightly narcissistic person and vice versa. Calling a moment ex-girlfriends narcissist. They are not narcissist. Not for me. You heard it from dr laura berman. Never call someone coach's kid i would never call anyone narcissistic without evaluating them. We all have narcissistic tendencies myself included but often when you're very big and and by the way dr drew he he's a friend of mine. He told me years ago. And i actually filled out his questionnaire. He did a study where he we questionnaires to all these people that were on camera or on radio or whatever and he that every single person who is on camera has narcissistic qualities. I guess how could you not okay. That's me some mean so confidence and having a big personality is great. But you can't. It's one thing if it comes from a place of like. I'm you know i'm a ham and i love being out there and i feel good about myself and i love the love and i have things to share verses. I need this in order to feel good about myself. I need you mirror me in order for me. I've had that analysis and ships like love me like me or this is what i need from you and i. I actually learned through my relationships that i didn't fully trust someone's confidence in themselves until i could hear until they could share an insecurity. I don't really care. I don't really care. I don't really care about like what you can talk about that. You like or where. You're scare feel insecure. So who had the really big personality in your house growing up. I had ten siblings. The whole big question. I i had a great childhood. I mean i really. I really did. I guess me. I mean i was very wide order. What we're we're on the oldest boy in the second oldest. I was very big personalities. I don't know no one really when you say big personality i wasn't like big personalities and so i just for me i've always been a confident person and i always like to challenge. I like to be like balance. And i like. I like to give a lot. And i like to get a lot in return right so for me. It's always been an. I haven't like the situations where the problems i've had in the past was finding the big personalities but i i'm not submissive. I'm not like i want some. Tell me what to do so it was like i. Yeah yeah oh yes. I i need plenty of you know i need tons of room. I like and it was his finding someone were it was finding that balance. It was finding that someone who Could you know. Let me shine but also wanted to shine to. And i've i've found in myself. My challenges were I felt like it went one way where when it came time to me shining it was you know and again they. They love me and said nice things and they had their way of showing it. But what i just wasn't it felt like i was getting criticism when they felt insecure and it was like i feel like i'm dealing with your insecurities while you know and i felt like instead of ever me feel like i was shining in the relationship i was constantly trying to justify my actions are attending to their needs so that is someone who is not friends with their shadows when i mean by that is that we all have shadow sides right so the the light side in this case would be someone who's gregarious and confident and big and loud and fun and you know has a big personality right. The shadow side might be that they can be controlling and critical and not good at sharing the light. And instead you know and and feel insecure if anybody else's having on them and those are the shadow sides that come from their own wounds and if they don't excavate those wounds and he'll them then those wounds run their lives and so So that's what was probably happening with these pass women. In addition the reason i was asking you who was Because we all have type right and you're type. Is someone with a big personality. That's your love map right. That's what scientists call your love map which honestly develops the first seven years of life. It's who were the type you know. My husband likes to joke. And it's true that i'm extremely like his first grade teacher who he had a huge crush off and funded ivan to yeah and But that's an example of a love map that That those first seven years it's not sexual but per se but what's getting implanted is the type of personality. Look style of what attracts us. I've always found myself to become care that way because Like i love my mom got a crate relation with my mom. I've never been attracted anyone. That is like your mic. My mom in a in a way. I've thought about this because a lot of times it seems to be the opposite. He's just like your mom. My current girlfriend I don't think he's necessarily like my mom but she's definitely my current mcgurn. I say that like next week will be different but She she doesn't have she's different than all the rest in that. She definitely doesn't seek out the light she doesn't have a big personality. Like you would say like well like my other ones but yet her. What i've said like for me. She has the she has character in what she knows she stanford and she makes that very clear so i always know. I always know like what's important to her where she stands and that's where like i'm aware of her insecurities And there's a lot of confidence in there but she doesn't she lets on the dramatic person in our relationship. I've said what the crate. I don't find myself to be that dramatic. It's a new for me. it's fun you know. And it's fun to tease. We joke about it. She's very she. She calms me down. And it's the. It's the first relationship i ever had were. I felt like i was in a relationship that could i could trust to ground me when i need well. That's super important. And i haven't had that before. Now you've been the ground constantly was like it's all exhaust grounding everyone else. Yeah so it's fun to be the not. Yeah that's fine. I'm the nut in my relationship. So i kind of enjoy it. Yeah so so she has. She's not necessarily a big. You know give me the spotlight personality. But she has She's empowered. I think so. Yeah yeah so. It's it's been great so far. But like with my. I think now that you asked me. I'm like thinking about it because like my dad doesn't have that big of a personality. Either i don't know where i got that i don't know but You know my parents are very loving environment. I'm sure they had their issues but they never fun. I never saw them fight. God bless them truly never. I've never experienced them fight and they had their problems. I remember you know situations that my parents were dealing with but never them they were always united front always Which was that's the one. The one thing i would as a kid. The the cardinal sin wasn't lying it wasn't Stealing you know our own ever causing trowel it was If we got caught pinning our parents against each other that would. That's the cardinal sin if mom told you know i mean i know ground we founded but that would that was to add to. You probably get grounded for entire summer it was. I just remember that being a big deal. A real big deal. That's a really good model for you growing up like that's a really good message that that Because i always say that to parents that the best thing you can do for your kids is give them a model of what a loving committed relationship you. Your relationship should actually be more important than your children. Because that's the foundation for the family kids. I remember asking my parents like you. Do you love me. Like how much do you love me. Do you love me more than that. It was like it was different but also kind of like. Yeah we love you more and it was different. It was like what we have is not comparable and what we won't ever let you come between that and it was I always kind of respect my parents. But and i've learned that that was rare as i've gotten older but i don't know necessarily how i turned into me l. area of inquiry for you because it only adds to your you know the more that we can understand how we developed our worthiness of love our confidence in love. What attracts us in love. What we want out of love where we struggle in love the more we can understand how that evolves the more we you know the more we can heal in the better we can love and the more we attract people in who You know match. That i don't know some distinctive myself now Yeah so in terms of anything more to add on trying to avoid falling for the right person the wrong person. I'm sorry over and over like you know. I guess. I kind of mentioned that but hotta we police ourselves. How do we. They're taking advice from our friends. Right we you know we hot. Oh we see it because sometimes these relationships and then you're like you almost have to like give it a shot date free few months wada. We see those red flags sooner than we would in the past and then how do we address it. And what's difference between say a red flag in actual problem because not all red flags. Red flags are just like things that might come up from the past and then you to address it about it right and you explore it but if you have a pattern where you are repeatedly getting into relationships with cheers or with you know people who are hypercritical or people who abandoned you or people who can't commit or people whatever you know if there's a pattern there Then what. I like to recommend is that you completely stop dating for awhile and you really do like an emotional reset and do some of that internal work that i was talking about Earlier if it's about recognizing and so if you just tend to always go for the bad boy. Usually i find that is. Because you get grossed out you want intellectually someone who isn't a bad boy but once you are with the guy who treats you all you get grossed out because he's so into me something must be wrong with him. Why can't he. Because i don't deserve that is what it fundamentally comes down to so always i find especially with women who are repeatedly going for the bad guy even though they don't want to it's because on some level they got the story adopted that internalized that that's that that that's really what they deserve. And they get grossed out with the person that treats them while so. That's another scenario but in general. I think if you have if you really want to change your type stop dating your type. This is the thing that a lot of people. Don't realize that those butterflies. You feel if you're someone who repeatedly dates people that aren't good for you. The next person you go out on a date with and you feel like you've known them all your life and they're so familiar and you have butterflies run. Okay do not go on a second date with bam because that is your systems warning symbol butterflies or a warning. It's a warning always Often it's a fear you know it could be like. Oh shit. i'm really into this person. And i'm scared. I'm going to get hurt butterflies. This is actually encouraging for me. Well i tell you should feel when you find one. You should feel like your piece long boring out. That's someone who's used to. Drama peaceful is not born. I like that. Because i'll say why i like that because i've joked as i've gotten older you're young. You can feel butterflies your excitement. You just don't know then. Maybe that other person who reminds you that it's like anger right. You find that. you've you have heartbreak. I think a lot of us i know. I didn't think a lot of people who listen to podcasts. Do it where you're trying to find that again. And so you want you want what you it's like you wanna make it right. Yes and that's what i you know. My first relationship was like my you know. I'll blame my parents. There greatness was my prom. 'cause like i'll fight for this. I'll make it right. you know. i'll figure it all out. But as i've gotten older i've gotten worried about i'm never gonna fall in love again. I don i think if not on tv in a controlled environment. Where it's like this pressure. Because i don't remember last time. I felt butterflies. Like i don't know. I don't get excited. I don't like what is that you know i had a more kind of thoughtful level-headed approach dating this. Like okay we'll see you know it would heart. It would be hard for me to get excited because to me. Which is like. I don't know i before i. It was the blissful ignorance like well. I'm not now. You're more cautious now. More cautious and i i didn't i always like was i didn't like being called cynical just because i decided not to be like. Oh my god. I had like a nice time and i got butterflies but then it was a little nerve wracking because you wanna feel you know. What is it going to tell me. information my cur- relationship. It took me a several months to be okay with. I'm ready to invest in this relationship because you didn't have butterflies. it was. Yeah it was like that. You're attracted to her. Oh yeah. I mean you have passion. When they're i mean i liked. I liked that you called peaceful because it was a peaceful like i've never and if you're used to like chaos in your relationships peaceful feels uncomfortable and like something's off and we also have this story that love is because what we see in the movies and everything that on the bachelor that love is supposed to be you know this like like that like you know and it is sometimes it can be but real love that lasts even. If you have that in the beginning that's the infatuation stage you know real lasting love is the love that is in what scientists call the attachment stage. It's a sweeter softer peaceful. Intimate emotionally connected. Deep love where what love really is in its purest form is. I'm taking you emotionally as part of me so to hurt. You would be like hurting me. You know and vice versa. That that we you know that That were connected in that way. And so that's not a dangerous. Am i going to get you to stay with me. Can i keep you kind of excitement. Right that's a peaceful latin so on the date with the guy who you're have the hots for and you shield nervous excitement. That's that's a definite red flag that he's just like your especially if that's your tendency. Signed the therapist call that repetition compulsion where he repeatedly date and go get together with the same mistake again and again. It's an unconscious west. What's interesting about that is that that's what we've been told the look for we've been told to look for the spark the intangible feeling we've been looking for our next toxic relationship yes well yeah well you wanna feel like oh my god. You're hot. I'm attracted to your interesting. You're kind your fun. You have the qualities that i'm looking for but yeah the butterflies and so if you tend to do that date people who are not your type and go your typical type and go on three four or five dates with them before you decide. It took me a while to miss. My girlfriend mccarron girlfriend. At first you know he'd hang out and be like yeah time i don't know sure and then it was like let's hang out again but there's always i don't know if i miss you i don't know you but when we do hang out i've a lovely tie well. The missing before with those other women was not really missing them per se. Because you didn't know them any better electrical toxic stimulus. Yes it was. It was missing like it was the agitation anxiety of is this gonna work are they gonna say yes. Am i gonna see them again. You know it was. It's part of that insecure attachment. Is that the same similar to like. I've referred to as like toxic stimulation. Where we you know. We're trying to fill avoid own life where we Like it's something to do like. Why do we keep out of boredom. Why do we keep. Why don't we leave the these toxic relationships that you know. We're we're hooked we. We're not even happy now or just but yet what does it. And i've wondered. If is it us trying to make our egos feel special because like the girl who or the guy who keeps going because what if what if they will do. Then i'm special. Then i'm i'm better than all the other people said no to or at least that's part of it but there's something even further underneath that is that have been abandoned. You know so many times right. And if i can convince this person to love me then i can finally believe that i'm worthy of love. No because at or i can finally make it right that all those other people hurt me. I can prove to myself that it's not really me. You know it was them. If i can do this thing make everything else now. We stay stock in these really unhappy relationships for that and also you know i always say there's this tipping point where you know. The pain of being in the relationship has to be greater than your fear of leaving it and once the pain of being in a relationship is more than your fear of. What's on the other side. You know being single even that person or whatever. Then you'll leave. That makes a lot of sense. I've said it before. But how i feel like sometimes there's one of those things. It's harder in practice. Because how do we avoid that lasting a whole year before we get the courage to do it with like what. How do we have a relationship where we're literally miserable for a year but we haven't decided that it's greater than the unknown because we don't know the unknown will does that make sense like i mean it it. It really does. If uninterrupted it eventually gets their. You know i've watched and worked in even with some of my friends. I've seen them being relationships for years where their ups and downs. It's not all bad all the time right. So they can kinda justified in their own minds but they really know but they don't really want to get back out there they've invested. I mean this is a big mistake that women make. I've invested in my early thirties. I've invested there for six years. I don't wanna start over. And i don't want you know and love finding the love that you want and deserve requires extreme bravery. I mean extreme bravery to move to be willing to be alone. You know because until you're totally hull alone. You're never no one else ever completes you right. I hate that line from that jerry. Maguire movie where he says you complete me. 'cause your your whole delicious cake. Someone else is like icing. You know but you're still a whole delicious cake on your own right so when we can get really whole and complete on our own. That's when we can start to in someone who is our icing rather than that were dependent on to complete us or we're not okay if they're not with us and sometimes if you've really been stuck in a relationship like that and you just can't find your way out that's where it's important to get support to work on those self worth issues and those stories you've been telling yourself about your worth that keep you stuck being treated like crap. Hopefully who we can all work on them. You can work on. it's not. I mean it's scary to think about but that's what i do. That's my bread and butter. I do that all day. Long though. it's fascinating stuff. And it's it's it's what's fascinating. It seems like it's something we'll always be dealing with as society when it comes to relationships were always. I mean it's why yours. I am here that honestly i tell you with one hundred percent sure of this that when we are having a relationship with someone else we are really having a relationship with ourselves through that person and so the better you can create a relationship with yourself the more offensive. The more you can deal with your own shadows the more you can love yourself fully and completely not in a narcissistic way but an honest way. You know the more whole you can become in that way. The better your relationship is and that's a lifelong proposition. Been married for seventeen years. And i'm still we're still evolving and working on you know it's it's it's part of the fun you talk a lot about wellness. You have an do you evaluate someone's sexual wellness. I do a lot of sex therapy. I do a lot of sex education. I helped people when they have sexual issues. Like you know. Low desire or erectile dysfunction. Stuff like that but i also do a ton of couples therapy you know from infidelity to Spicing it up to You know trauma obviously and also helping people really build better love and sex life. Speaking of which i can give you want me give you a present. This may be round. Tines day gift for your girlfriend blazing so extraordinary so jealous right now. I'll send you onto okay. You're eddie you're probably a guy that likes the remote. I'm assuming what do you mean by the romo's like controlling the remote like a like in general feel imp- isn't a psychological question. Sure i don't know i mean we. Both we both have access to leave the underwear underwear those go in the crotch of the underwear that little bullet and this is your remote heels fund five right it works up to twelve feet away so she goes in the crash of the panties and then you can zapper boy. That's whenever you want on and off from twelve. Are these comfortable from anywhere there modeled after hanky-panky which are some of my favorite until you in theory could wear this all day. Well yeah but you also you could wear it all day. You're being optimistic. But like a lotta people you know now fits in here and you could end. You could go. You can put it in any underwear but those underwear have a slit for that and then you can Well that's what i'm saying like would you wouldn't. You wouldn't put these on to start your day and then wonder you know but like i like to tell couples. You know when. They're going for thanksgiving at their horrible in house. In where i like that or you know a boring cocktail party or something or just around the house. A vibrating says or from a yeah. I have a line of toys that i developed for women and that that's sort of intended to really spice things up some playfulness between the two of you. Like the idea of creating playfulness boring situation. It's really fast. I also can see where this could. Yeah if abused. Power comes great responsibility exactly. I feel like this has to start with her saying. Let's do this. And then giving him the remote ed in a situation as a guy really rely. I don't know it depends on. How open yeah. It depends how open she is a guess. Yeah i don't know. I just all day long. Well we're not talking about all day long. That's gonna do on valentine's plans. Are you gonna make dinner at home. Are you gonna. I mean there aren't you can't really go cove it you know. So you're gonna so you should order a really nice dinner. Set a beautiful table. I like to make dinner. Okay make dinner said a beautiful table. Give her the underwear to put on and then zap around the house for a few hours and then do some valentine's they're bound day is so sex. Toys obviously are a great way to spice up relationship. But before i guess we introduce sex toys but what are some common general common general that any couple could face in terms of staleness misunderstanding. I find there to be a lot of stereotypes especially stereotypes that women have of men When it comes to their sexual proud prowess or you know a lotta guys to climax and sacks and if he doesn't climax it must have something to do with the women and then both men and women get very defensive in that situation because it's like no it's not you. It's me know. It's all very complicated. Is that something that you find to be the case. And how can we avoid those misunderstandings when it comes to dating in relationships. Yeah it's something that people i mean. Part of the reason i do this. Work is because for whatever reason a variety of reasons. I grew up just in a house where it was talked about normal comfortable. So it's really easy for me to talk about but most people didn't grow up. That way are comfortable talking about this stuff. The only conversation have with my parents is to not right. That's that's pretty. That's pretty typical for most people. And so how do you know. So then when they're in a sexual situation where there are some you know everyone has little road bumps. You know no matter. How functional you are. You're going to have a period where you know. Things aren't working as they could or should or there's a disconnect and the most important i mean there's an art to talking about it but the most important thing is the communications so you don't wanna if there are issues or concerns or questions you know it's really helpful not to bring it up in the middle of the sexual scenario. You also don't wanna like introduce something new in the middle of the sexual scenario so afterwards or a day or two before that next sexual scenario you say you know i. I like like when they When they were we were. My husband was the coach. You know the american youth soccer organization And he used to coach the kids for years and when they would train the coaches you know or renew their training. They would always say and i love this for relationships. When you're giving the kid feedback about like they did something wrong on the field you give them five Compliments i for every quote unquote criticism or feedback. You give them. And so. I think the same is true. It doesn't have to be five but in your relationships in general and certainly round sex. So you say gosh you know last weekend or yesterday whenever that was was so amazing and i love being with you and i love your body and i love our sex life and you frame it in the positive what i you know so you don't say but it's you know i really didn't like it when you touch me here. You say what i would really you know what really turns me on. It would really turn me on. Is this and when there are issues like he can't reach climax or something like that once again. It's not about saying in the moment like rolling over and being angry and being. You know saying what's wrong with you and taking all personally that is just gonna make it worse because the one thing we know about sexual response is that building anxiety about the problem with sexual response is going to build problems with the sexual response right. The one way to guarantee a guy is going to have you know early or premature ejaculation or erectile. Dysfunction is if he's worrying about that right and so if now it feels all loaded and she's gonna take it all personally and be all angry if he can't perform then i guarantee you he ain't going to perform because now he's not only worried about not performing is worried about what she's gonna feel this horrible so it's really important to keep it as positive as possible and if you are the person on the other side of this. Who's worried that he's not into you because he can't reach orgasm or whatever you stay really sweet about it really supportive and then outside away from the sexual scenario you say listen you know. I just wanted to check in with you about that you know. Is there anything i could do. More of or less of that would support you. What do you think that was about. And if you really are struggling you can go back to what we were talking about earlier where you know. I have a story. I have a story that it's about me like maybe you're not attracted to me and i just wanted to check that out with you because you know it's definitely a story that goes through my mind right then she's not so i'm you know. She's claiming her own insecurity. And then you can have a real conversation about it. Oh before we play our game and then let you go mean. I feel you could talk about all this stuff for for hours. we're in a pandemic covert. What are you seeing out there and relationships that it's creating problems obviously done. How can we try to avoid some of these Problems within the stations that we have in the world that we're in right now but Yeah i mean how do we you know there's a spicing it up of the mundane. The routine you know your remote control the control panel also. I noticed like the thing. I'm seeing the most with this. Two key. things one is that before this it. So many relationships were ships passing in the night. You know so busy. So much going on rushing off to work in the morning you know coming home dealing with kids dealing with life dealing with work whatever. It was then Falling in tibet right and if there were issues in the relationship you aren't really addressing them. You were just too busy and and you could kind of put it on the back burner and now because you're stuck at home right you're not only stuck at home but you're with that person twenty four seven and all those things you're sweeping under the rug come crawling out and that's difficult right because a lot of people's relationship issues are on fire right now but once again. That's an opportunity. Like i think is if you are one of those couples who has some money. I know a lot of people are struggling financially that you would have otherwise spent on travel or experiences or dinner out. Spend it on a little bit of couples therapy. Which every couple's therapist i know is working remotely now and you can work on those things that you've been avoiding all of that time. The other thing i see happening is just too much fricken togetherness you know like you need your own space. And i've even worked with couples who are like in a one room you know new york city in a small apartment and they hung up a blanket and from the ceiling just to like take that each of them taking that time away for a couple of hours even if he can't leave the freaking house if you can that's even better jazz to like be by yourselves because that's one of the ways that relationships stay rich also is that you both have your own lives and you're coming together and you each come back to each other with things that you've experienced and seen and learned you know and that's hard to do during time like this and then if you add in the anxiety and the fear or and everything else gets tough what what would you. What's a tip that you could give a couple. I feel like this happens. One person says hey. I wonder if we should maybe get some couples. Therapy the other person's like thanks for the thanks. How what do you have any advice for that. Because i feel like it happens. How do you say you claim it. So let's say You want to get some couples therapy because you feel like every time you try to talk about something important. Turns into an argument okay. That's an easy one. You you say to your partner. Listen is thinking that that argument we had the other night. I love you so much. And i love our life together so much and i feel like i. You claim it. I really need some help. Learning how to communicate together in a way that will really you know succeed. And that won't lead to an argument every time. And i know i have a huge part to play in that so i found this amazing person who works remotely and it would mean so much to me if you would just come to like three or four sessions and see what you think because obviously i need you in order to work this through and then if that's a good therapist and if your partner is hesitant definitely talk to the therapist i and try to find one that you think your part will resonate with your partner and then i guess i mean i all the time. The hesitant partner comes in and within a two two sessions therein. What happens if they refuse to go if they refused to go. That's really important information for you because that is someone who isn't willing to really who isn't friends with their shadows they're too scared and to really face them and deal with them. They're avoiding anything like that or and or they aren't really interested in building better communication and if they're unwilling to swamping one thing if they're unwilling to go to therapy because you want to go to therapy even though everything's great and you just think it'd be better if you went to therapy right but if you're you know there are issues in the relationship and they're not willing to address them to me. That's the most important quality you need in a partner. I don't care about anything else on your list. Every single one of us should be looking for a partner who is open to learning open to growing open to feedback and open to working on the relationship. Because otherwise i guarantee you won't survive a great way to end that discussion before we let you go. We always like to play a game with our gas and we came up with this very fund. Silly game goofy will you. I'm well it's it's called the the worst thing to hear from okay. There's really no right or wrong. Answer ashes well will. We will both respond to. What's the worst thing we think we could hear from a person in a certain okay so this is like stream of consciousness. We're talking about house of answers all right first question versa. What's the worst thing to hear from someone on a first date. I wouldn't even be what. I heard the worst thing to see as if they were like an asshole. Excuse my language. Can i say that an asshole to the waiter or to the like you know. That's like the worst thing for the in terms of for me personally. If they said. I'm not attracted to you. That would be the worst about 'em the day. Yes or they would say it more subtly like your little bigger than a lot of the women i date or you're a little shorter. Whatever to that one i would. I would answer as you're weird really. Oh i take that as a compliment. Well it just depends. I think you're weird. Is something a lot of women. Say two men when they get uncomfortable. I think it puts a lot of men on the defensive. Because it's all the like what do you mean like it's like i agree. Like i like saying weird i also liked being around my friends or the people close to me that know me so when when they might say you're weird i don't be offensive state in your immediately start being like an no guy wants to be called thought of as creepy now and so like i make sense. Oh you're it's kinda weird ears like wait. And why would i say that on a first date like what's wrong with her. I don't know. But i do find like it's not even i'm not saying a lot of women said to me but i've seen it words my guy friend or is but like yeah you that's weird like and it's it's usually and i've also noticed that women say it's like oh oh it's weird and then you don't mean it like that. What's the worst thing. Your least favorite aunt and thanksgiving could say i can. I can tell you what my least. I didn't have an answer but my least favorite uncle would always always come up to me. Didn't matter whether i was below my ideal weight or above it. He would come up to me. Give me a big hug and start pinching all you my back and my side more your little little heavy little meet their laura. You know that he would comment on my weight every time. Yeah that's weird l. Weird that's weird. That is weird. I didn't really have a least favorite aunt. My my my least favorite is like the aunt. You don't really know who ass who who who treats you like best friend. I don't even the what's the worst thing you can hear from someone. You're trying to define the relationship with the well ahead. let's be friends. Yeah let's be friends. Well see i'm more. I'm you know me. I think clarity is always great. So if you're trying to define the relationship you don't get the answer you don't want. I don't think that's the worst thing i think. The worst thing you can hear from some you're trying to the relationship with as vagueness. So i'm like man i love everything about and i definitely want to keep you around and i still can we. Can we go see movies in. Like i have this dinner plan but i definitely don't. I'm not ready for a relationship to me. That's the worst because the person who wants turned relationship their dislike. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make this into a positive what you just said. I'm going to judge in my life neck. I'm gonna turn. I'm gonna turn what you said into a positive and yeah so to me. I think that's the worst thing you could hear. But the cannot yeah and the reminded me of something that i really want to say for women who are looking for a monogamous relationship. If you are looking for a monogamous relationship and you really want that do not have sex with that guy until you are clear the both of you are looking for that and you think that could work with each other and neither one of you plan to date anyone else at least for the foreseeable future. So you don't have to be ready to like call yourself boyfriend and girlfriend you don't have to be walking down the aisle but don't have frequent sex with him until and i don't mean like holding back like manipulative tool. I mean your sexuality is a gift not only the first time but every time you choose to share it with someone and if you're looking for monogamous relationship make sure that the person you share that with deserves it and is worthy of it and you're gonna get rid of all the jerks that are just looking for sex and pretending they want a monogamous relationship. I think that's great question. Yes what happens in a say sex positive woman who just wants a little sex. She's not necessarily thinking about she. She's like i'm open to dating. I wanna i wanna find a boyfriend. Ideally alana monogamous relationship. But it saturday night. It's a trap. And i want use a toy for god's sake because lesson jewish. I'll tell you why because what this sucks. Wish we could have casual sex as as easily as guys can but chemically has good sacks especially in orgasm. Her body gets washed and oxytocin which is the chemical of attachment that breastfeeding mothers released to bond with their baby. So you go into the bar. You see the hot guy who's a total idiot and you're like i'm just looking to get laid and i have no interest in the sky and you go home and you have great sex with him and then the next day you feel like crap because he laughed without asking for your number and you know i have. We cannot casual sex. Just doesn't work the same way with us. Guys have more testosterone drone and it kind of compensates for the fact. There's also some evolutionary dna reasons for it all but the bottom line is. It's much harder for us. I wish it wasn't because i hear you but you're better off playing with your toys and your fantasy life than having sex with a stranger. You have no interest in. So if you're a guy and you're the nicest guy in the world per se but you're putting out good sex. You're of fucking some people up without even trying chang so as a guys. Maybe don't do that. don't do that. I feel so seen so a date number two and you have a few drinks. And she's like i want. I'll have a little sacks and guys like cool on and he tries his best to have the good sex he gives the good sex. That's a risk that's and even if the guy and she's like it's totally cool. This doesn't mean anything. Let's have some fun but he needs to know he knows. He's good at saks okay. Cbs weapon mayor. If you're good at and what. I would say to women is like on the second day. You know when you've made out a little bit or whatever you just say. Look i just want you to know. I'm really attracted to you. I'm really enjoying getting to know you. But i just need about me that i don't have sex with anyone until i'm sure that i really want to date anyone else for the foreseeable future and the other person is too and that doesn't mean you know we're making some major commitment but you know i'm not interested in sex until i get to that point and i don't know if we'll get there but i just wanted to let you know that that's where i stand. Would you say that a sex in the fast suite is probably not the best idea with multiple people really. I was feeling so bad for those for because every single one of them you know was getting like oxy too. I mean actually does. It doesn't hard headed. It doesn't happen as much as people think. And then the whole competitive thing among the women at or the man like that always. I mean now. It's better 'cause. I've been around since the beginning of the bachelor but in the beginning of the bachelor days i mean. Let's just be honest. Some of the bachelors or not that. Fantastic adam sorry but they were. You know it's quality has gotten significantly better and i remember being so fascinated because you. It was a different scene. If you look at like the first seasons of the bachelor the women would come in and a lot of them weren't even that into the guy but as soon as they saw that all the other women were into them. It's like the competition among the women. Made the guy attractive. And that's and it's not even about the guy it's about competing with the other women so you make good tv tv but it's not a model for love the worst. Are you trying to say that the bachelor is a model for. I wouldn't go that far but maybe it's a model for love but it certainly not the model said that the worst thing you could hear from the person Officiating your wedding. I can tell you. What my favorite professor in my human sexuality graduate program who came to my wedding celebration No i told him. I had just gotten engaged. And he was gonna. He came to my wedding but he said to me. It's response to me. When i told him i was getting married and he was right because i was marrying my ex husband as i think everybody needs to get married at least once to figure out what they really want out. That's what he said to me. Basically on my wedding day was that bad or it's bad. At the time. I was pissed know but he was right and when he came to my final wedding. The one with my seventeen year husbands I you know. I laughed with him and told him about that. He didn't even really remember saying it but he remembered feeling it. So funny i. I would think the worst thing someone could say to me. I guess is who is a fishing. My wedding would just be no. Nope not long daylight not going to support this relationship now. A final question. The sales the worst thing you can hear from the sales associate a sex shop describing their new toy about to purchase Boy i can't think of anything other than no nothing. I can think of qualities We know you wanna make sure it's fe late free and all that stuff so they're giving you a product that's unhealthy but otherwise. I mean you're asking the wrong person that questioned because nothing's i would say consensual. Nothing's off limits to return this in three days. Quick audible on the game were quick Would you rather would you rather have a gray hair in your food or on your sex toy buying your sex food want either i be but at least it's yeah you'd rather have been your sex toy. That's a good one hundred percent. Yeah now food. If the pupils in my food was in my food and i hadn't eaten any yet and that's fine but if i had eaten half of it and then find the pew pew your that's ben said i don't i can wrap my head around. How pugh gotten a sex toy. I can't wrap around puke gotten my food. Yeah that is hard to imagine a pupil. Your food would not be good cooking. What were you doing before you now. Did you not wash your hands. When did you rub the squash. This is like a setup for a bigger question clause. Unless but what's the worst thing you could hear from your partner when trying to introduce a new sex toy and i asked specifically because i think there's a lot of men out there who might feel emasculated from that question and what's a healthy way to try to To do that. I always try to let my male audience know that it's it's okay to know that there's often takes more than one tool to complete a task. Yes but what do you find to your clients who who who might feel emasculated. What some of the ways. I try to help them understand. I did a huge national study. On what the most sexually satisfied women have in common and it wasn't the number of they have although orgasms are great when they happened. It was the emotional closeness and connection. They felt to the person they were having sex with. That was the number one by far predictor of their sexual satisfaction. Now a toy is a toll. It does not cuddle you it does not make you feel emotionally close does not have a personality it cannot compete with you and so it's just a tool it cannot replace. You cannot deliver her the sexual pleasure that you can because in order to create the maximum sexual pleasure. It's that connection and emotional intimacy. She feels with you which inanimate objects for ninety nine point nine percent of people incapable of giving less you have a fetish for inanimate objects but that's a different show and ave. That's another well. This is all been a lot of fun and very informative. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to To join us You do have a podcast. Co will coming out or should be out. it's called the language of love It's on all the platforms. But you could also go to doctor. Laura berman dot com And it's right there on the homepage. But also dr laura dot com backslash language of love. You'll see how to link to it how to subscribe to it. But also there's a way to ask voicemail questions and email questions because the podcast is me answering your questions about sex and love and relationships will be sure to check that out. And like as dr laura off Also dr laura berman because we're out there There's a lot of things on her website that she can help you out with so be sure to check that out if you have any questions or challenges in your relationship that you might need some help with Dr laura berman. Is there to help. Thanks much we appreciate it. Thank you guys for listening. Don't forget to send your question asking. Nick academy dot com cast with a k. Five stars all that fun stuff. We will see you back.

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2020 New Year's Winter Special  The Dad Awakens

Bad To The Dad

1:09:31 hr | 1 year ago

2020 New Year's Winter Special The Dad Awakens

"If the kind of dad you are who tickets to skywalker he buys in July then for you. This is the podcast it cash. Well in my head it sounded like Iota to you. The listener unearth may have sounded like grover from Sesame Street on the voice anyway. But it doesn't matter we welcome you to another special. We are the podcast that celebrates suburban and this week Galactic Dead Life. We are bad to the Dan along with coach Randy. I'm Adam de we couldn't resist. The force was too strong. And there's other special coach and I love that. Of course what happens when you drink Bourbon New Year's eve and you have an idea and we can just go creative in just go. I'm so glad because it came out of a conversation just a couple of days ago so we had to talk about it just had to. We said you know we. We're talking about skywalker. Rise up skywalker and the mandatory in which the two newest vehicles that the Disney family he has put out. We had our own debate about it. Yes but wouldn't it be great if we brought this to the podcast. And he brought some other fellas and when you have a podcast popular as ours. Yeah Bad to the dad you you got to use it you gotta use it and the whole star wars thing going to the movies and as a family. That's such a bad thing that is so we didn't want to miss an opportunity. We also it didn't want to wait to the start of our season which will be February second February seconds. Yes we'RE GONNA kick off the season with Mario race who is a motivational speaker and author. Right up your alley randy but inbetween again. We want to keep the listener hall and this is one of the ways. We're going to do it again. The rise of skywalker has not been out to to long mandatory. Handle Orient has been out since November. We wanted to cover the content and who cover the content better with than three of our favorite dad. Geeks John Brooks yes. John Neal Tenure Neil and Christine has from our own episode one. Yes call the Daddy. Man is absolutely how about that Day We do stay on keep it live we keep it live at. But let's be honest. You Miss me you miss me. Yeah do you miss the den. It's a a crack at. There's there's something about when you're on a road to fix when you when you end on a role and you're creating demand and then you go cold Turkey and some people are saying. Come on man next episode so we did that special course of years. Cities Roger Apple and friends for for allowing us to your inner sanctum. Sanctum doing this special around the holidays. Then we then we get calls like. Hey when's the next special. You're doing between now. I know just yesterday we I was. Is it a what's going on. What's happening with your next? We loved it. We loved it and I get five hundred downloads. A week now and it's climbing so for those listeners. Out there her thank you so much we can have some wonderful surprises in season three. We're GONNA find out a way for you to provide information in touch with US send messages could be a refund season but This was it was fun because I think yeah you really wanted to see us. Back is As coach Randy Adam de here in the den. So we've got the rise of skywalker and man. Dan delorean debate. And when we mentioned the guests that we're going to have on our our panel. We call it Organized Chaos yes. We mentioned John. We mentioned Chris. We mentioned Neil. You're probably wondering hiring. How did these three dudes get together? Well back in November of twenty eighteen. There was this walking dead convention in New Jersey. Now I'm not a huge walking dead fan but I know John Brooks is so I sent him the facebook share a says. It's something you're interested in going in and if you need someone to go I'll go with you because I think the people watching yes tons of fun and he said sure and we bought the tickets and then we get an alert saying well. You bought two tickets now. You get two for free two for free. I can't let those go to waste. Who we're going to bring I gotcha? So we thought of two other fan boys. Of course Neil tensor being wind and the ultimate fan boy in our circle of friends friends is of course Kristie as from wine with Cheetos and Chris Chris did it all up dressed up like yes and walked around and you know was fake. Terrorizing people like some of the other. Some of these cautions are super elaborate But but an amazing kind of culture eye opener for me in that John on basically waited in line at that conference to meet Megan. Yes and Chris. Basically walked around as Zombie and trying to get into the theme and and Neil and I waited in line for autographs and pictures with the lesser known characters on the walking dead. But as we're waiting in line he's like that guy he was in powder powder from Leather Travolta that guy was in fantastic beasts and where to find them so you like the walking. IMDB actually so there's a lot of fun going with the is and and doing something like this and just just take it to another level and there's also one other person we have to mention Who Do have to mention? Who is the one purchased by our side from the very beginning who uses the forest to create great graphic design market? Yeah well but have to be becky Berman a branding of Berman's DOT COM Once again she's GonNa be back for a third season with the new logo. Can't wait until we unloaded. Oh yeah coming back for third thirds right. And that's a little but of course. Please reach out to Becky. She could certainly use your support. She's incredibly dynamic. Hamadeh user from my own company Berman Dot Com. That's awesome of course. We want to thank Jessica and Danielle from tap into dot net local news network. If you're listening in northern New Jersey Chrissy. I think there's a tap into dot net in every town in north and Central Jersey. Please visit tap into dot net and find news for your local vicinity. We are bad into the dad. The debate is coming up. Welcome to the bed to the Dad Winter Special Shoul. This is the rise of skywalker. Men delorean debate. My name is Adam D and joined of course by my co host coach Randy who we'll be a panelist today semi panelists semi panel semi like a pseudo. If anything you'll be the peacemaker I'd probably have to in this debate very strong feelings. Here's very powerful opinions. So it is my great honor to introduce all of our panelists today efforts in the force here experts indeed. I'm afraid the force may be used and things will be moved with their mind hopefully for for not violent causes. But we'll see worth fighting here tonight. Uh this is the podcast that you were looking for those. So you're all in the right place. Let's introduce our esteemed panel of guests. We'll start with Fan Dan. Boy John Brooks John Brooks is the kind of guy where when the family goes on vacation he stays home and binges twelve hours. Straight of walking. Dead Mandel Mandalay. laurean whenever might be fantasy or sci fi related and he's not afraid to admit it John Welcome to bed to the dead could not have said it better. Thank you very much for having me on on. Welcome good to have you here. Neil tenzer is the kind of guy where if you go to a comic book convention or some such thing. He will provide encyclopedic redick knowledge of everybody that is signing autographs or taking photos. How he has the time for this? I don't know I'm sure he has a very good reason. Isn't that wearing his space invaders shirt. It is Neil tenzer. Thank you Adam. I am a master of the useless knowledge so it is great to be here sharing that with you guys. You can't think of a better pal and a return guest actually are I guess Chris. Da's he doesn't have furniture at his house house. He has stacks of graphic novels and just tabletops on top of that pretty much. Kristie has welcome back to the program. Thank you I'm here to defend baby yoga. That's my soul the extra extra points for wearing only big. They consider me a it and then of course my good friend in yours coach Randy Nathan who. I'd say you're a little more than a casual fan over over casualties. I even don't have anywhere near the depth of knowledge and experience in Time to provide and yet you saw rise of Skywalker not once not once but twice it twice. Because I had had enough of my opinion to the second time so you just like me watching airplane there are things you miss the first time so you have have to watch it too and they also did watch man Lawrence really. How many times have you watched? I watched the foot little full full as I'M GONNA go back on my watch and we have to remember that the rise of Skywalker I walker has only been out for like two or three weeks right around the twentieth of December so spoiler we will be talking about the movie movie. We will be talking about specific scenes and characters so there will be spoilers. I'm not apologizing for that because your your wife told me I I should mention that there will be. Is this Adam de and Jessica or is it coach. Randy enemgy jealous. There will be a spin on all right. You know the Ataman Chinaman to parenting podcast. There might be a spin off here with these guys do like a kind of podcast octagon battle. I like it I like it. Just nobody take their shirts off. Please for that. Got By dead's here's how it's GonNa work. I will moderate them. Do the best best that I can. You all have two minutes to respond to every question and then panelists to raise their hand or simply he just jumps in without any kind of courtesy. We'll have two minutes to either rebut the commentary of said previous panelists or support. That commentary Jerry if you like. Are you expecting to lose control within minutes. I feel like I'm already lost control. They try to cover as much ground as we can. With regard to the rise of Skywalker as well as the man delorean and as we get towards the end of the panel. We'll we'll ask some individual questions. So for instance John Brooks was just in Disney little tease want to hear about the galaxy's edge star wars galaxies edge. I I know we're all on the edge of our seats yearning for that information and I'm waiting with anticipated breath also said and yet and yet you're sitting calmly and with as right now. Yeah but I've been aggressive stamped right now right if I have what happened to jump up straight up first question. We'll start with Neil Tanzer the rise of skywalker. You've seen it. I have seen it. Was it a good movie in was a good movie. What what did you enjoy about the rise of skywalker? I enjoyed the finality of wrapping up the full Star Wars Sada I enjoyed laid out of the visual effects. I enjoy aid. Let's see some of the lightsaber. Battles were pretty enticing. I mean there are plenty of things I didn't enjoy to get to maybe later absolutely and I think it really Come on the overall story of the store side Katrina we have a thing here. Recall runs data. It in okay right right so we're trying to get a sense in terms of how many runs dead in disbelief. Provide to you on a scale of say one to five was the one data. Dan In was five. been a lot being tolerate. So how many data you know how many runs added in. Would you give this give it a three and a half all right. Okay all right. That's fair Mhm Christina's your remarks. Good moving it's a good movie that failed to be a great movie and it had the opportunity to do that and the way I see it is that it spent a lot of time and it's fails to be a great movie because it has to clean up the messes of pryor movie and and I don't think the J.J. Abrams had an option. I think he had to do that. There's a lot of criticism going on now. About spent too much time in Fan Service. He met spend too much time tearing down. What last Jedi I did? I don't think he had an option. I think there was such blowback and such inability to carry the story forward. If he didn't do that that it just it's simply had to be done so because he spent so much time doing that. There were the things that were lost. I think there were questions that were left on answered that needed to be answered. I think that there were are. I hate to say it because there are stakes in the movie I mean right. There's this world ending Fleet Universe Ending Fleet of star destroyers. That is now each one of them is as powerful as a death star so there are stakes but the stakes for the individual characters. We've come to love for the last thirty years. They're not there. We lose those steaks when it comes to tobacco we lose the stakes when when it comes to see three bureau we already know that Princess Lay has gone we we know that rate but everyone who we think is potentially going to make a sacrifice and end having made that sacrifice is somehow brought back and so I feel that it loses that stake loses that emotional tether the other to the way that the story could have ended and probably should have ended. Because it's not really a sacrifice unless you make the sacrifice and so in that sense since I feel the movie fails it does put an end stamp. I'm I'm with Neil on three three point I five around there if I had to go can't go one to ten. I give it a seven because you don't make the rules here. No did the the job. But it's the last movie in the Skywalker Saga. I think I expected more ended intellect when I find interesting though. Is You stirred out saying this movie was also a referendum on the previous two movies right it was basically making up for the sins right of the previous two films trim. I gotTa tell you Chris is attorney and I could any does felt the case taste was resenting. His opening argument was solid. It was it was well paced. I think he put in things out and I think to the judge and jury will be interesting Algebra teacher model you in here. But I wasn't sure you for the prosecution. I found it very interesting. Skill was is there. Yup Now John Brooks had been waiting for this film to come out for really since the last one came out and I'm surprised that he didn't do like we all did in nineteen ninety-three setup a tent tent the night before Janai came out so we can be the first one to buy tickets and then run to our seats because you couldn't reserve your seats back back in that day. John and what did you think of the film. And do you agree with your esteemed or not so I I know I know this is tough one. This one's GonNa come from. I would agree in the sense that I give a bit. Three and a half three and three quarters of five. It was a very good movie I loved it throws the best one out of three a wrap things up nicely. Some new grew up with these movies. I loved seeing palpitation. Back in all his glory does the best part for me Second best part of it say I'll I'll give him credit for this driver that a phenomenal job showing the transition of Kylo ran back to the good side of the bed. Having the Harrison. Ford Cameo was fantastic. Never saw it coming With the things left unsaid it should could have been said yes. I agree with Chris. You're always going to be there. You can wrap everything up like that but I mean there was something that could have been addressed. That were hit that in the movie that were not addressed. I agree but overall fantastic tastic movie wrapping up very nicely. I'd say the best one out of the three I love force awakens also just to see the characters come back that we grew up with inland loved since since youth with Less jet. I agree week movie a lot of downtime. It shouldn't have been there. This will gotTa make up for a lot of that which did for the most part so a- An overall rating basis. Yes three and a half three quarters of the girl on the same page here so there were nine films in the narrative episodes one two three hundred seventy nine goals you the truth whereas rise of skywalker pecking order avoid rates amongst all the nine. We we know that one-two-three basically castoff castoff okay. I see I can't anything about four or five or six because I grew up with that and those are the hottest remind of. I shouldn't say that I should say empire number one. Mm New hope number two maybe rice number three. Oh interesting Jeddah number four. Wow see rise of skywalker that much that it would box out return of the Jedi a little bit and what's the reason for that. What would the premise i? Though the emperor just did a great job of this movie just having him back in the hole with him and raid in Kylo. The English is fantastic. I was saying the reason is Hey Christian at the end of returned the Oh they do that was sort of an auto autorite Skywalker and then they harass Hayden Crystal Right right in here coach Randy. You saw the film twice. So what did you pick up in round two that you didn't pick cup in round one that may have clouded or or changed your opinion of the film. I'm happy won't the oldest. I was nine in one thousand nine hundred seventy seven when that it came out so you can do the math real quickly. Carry the one. You can't do work from home nation of entire life. It's the first time I saw a movie My Dad took myself and my brother and back. Then they didn't have multiplexed. They had the big big screen cameo in Denver Denver Colorado and may were upstairs balcony and then the movie was great. Went downstairs went to the bathroom dad. My brother nine said would you like to see the second time and my brother my go shirt and so we just walked in the main floor. Watch it a second time right so this is kind of ood food to my. My brother does pass in my at my father So I went in the first time Thursday night by myself because I just kind of wanted to get an idea and I watched and I had a hard time. I had our time with Palanquin. Okay I needed to know why I had a hard time with all these ships and all these people come from I did like Kylo Ren Lighters and Ford It was weird seeing Princess Leia because you knew all of them all the slaves were filmed before she forthright arthritis knew it. I knew I think the last Jedi was the ultimate of bad in the south of blew up. I love the last seen in the last Jedi. Where the kid kind of just goes for the broom right? Anybody could understand the bar. She's right I got all that I'm a movie Fan. I am so what I decided to do. Is Watch it and then my son came in and watch the second time in I max right so this way. All of surprises were done. I'd go and read and read about battle different back stories right the first time I gave it to probably three three second time went back five. Oh Wow that much. I liked it that there's the experience in that much better than standard. It's like in your added three the first time which the treaty but now I know but I match so so. That's kind of where it came from from as I was able to get over to get over the stop and I I wanted to be entertained. I don't jump into the into the we'd like to kind of hang out on the the these guys are giving shut. He'd so they can get the figure have so much to learn from these these these these oracles of piqued the force. Strong with him. Kristie is doing right now expressing. Yeah piggybacking the Randy was saying about how so this is sort of like a lifetime thing. I actually was thinking the other day outside of my family the longest relationship that song. It's nothing so so so I get nitpicky about it. And the whole thing about the emperor emperor and everybody is kind of speak in the emperor's back and how right how. How did this happen now? There's a small won't reference that I caught at the rebel base where one of one of the technicians or someone exactly what was says something will will. Well it's dark science. I don't accept that I need more. This is the the titular villain right. He's the guy the he's a criminal. You have a good point. If Meta chlorine are making to find out how team Suddenly floated out of space as well. I mean a pop was able to do that last last movie right right. We when Carrie Fisher yes cherry poppin straighten. Excuse me. This is a skywalker. Rises the entire debate right. So he's outside of Anthony. Tony Daniels Right. He's the only character that has been through practically every one of the movies with the exception of the last two. Right Anthony. Daniels is it a human. That's been through all the movies for so and he is the villain he's like ready. said he's the he's the top dog how I mean I know that there. You are the The no longer canon but the former extended universe. There were the stories about and I didn't keep up with that but there were these stories about how the emperor made a made a point of cleaning himself essentially closetful clones so that you can constantly be reborn and he kinda hints at at that with respect to the snow clones in tubes as you enter layer. And they're sort of a mention Of more than a mentioned but the idea of him taking over raised body if she kills him so he's able to put his life force into her and continue to live and it's not necessarily cloning but none of that explains how he escaped the death star in return of the Jedi and is now back and that's a big question. How do we know how this happened? Is your clone. Are we sitting there and that again removes the stakes. If that's not the real emperor or if it's just a clone then why should I care as much plus point problem now. You said that you enjoyed the film nil tensor but you had a few problems with it is. Is that one of the problems or other. You know other gripes in May have been but not as deep sense as criminal and goes deeper some of the things that I don't WanNa say Earth me but I didn't understand was a supposed- loved story Love Triangle that turned out knocked. The so and that for me was ray and what's failure yeah. Clearly they kept referencing hinting. But then after the fact that I guess Abrahams came out and said what he's really GonNa say was he was forced sensitive forced Afghan sensitive the movie right. But so so you had that and really seemed like he was head over heels for her from the moment he met her at century in the first one. And then you brought in from the last Jedi. I forgot her name but the the to go. Yes yes and it seemed like there was something there and then the last one the former stormtrooper that he found on the on the planet seemed to be into him as well and he'd like no no. Is there anybody but you saw the big red hair. Yes I let you look working. Plus Movie New Disney plus series. That they're going to no no no. I'm I'm guessing here but they're going to set off. Yeah but then you had you know Landau right right. which school do Zoll right right? Had that window at the very end. He's like come on. Honey let's go check out this chart back here in this back room. I started I did read about it this also they hit. I guess the backstory with air is when the empire came to power with the stormtroopers and the girl in furthest the movie where the Empire the Empire came and took the babies away from the parents to make him stormtroopers and the emphasis this this girl daughter supposedly that weirder Orlando kind of suspects which is why segments on where you cover Landau did get around to awkward pissed between absolutely disgusting Mega brothers and sisters. This guy goes now your top. He's hitting on his daughter. They had they had no idea right right. And I just jump in real quick on on this whole stormtrooper. Thanks and I'm not not claiming credit for this idea that I heard it and thought. Wow so you've got this whole group of former stormtroopers right and the story. Is You know we lay down our weapons. Because they asked us to kill women and children and we couldn't do it and that's important it's powerful but if you wanted to complete thin story arc right how great would it have been if they had said if he had said why did you do it. Why did you get any? They had said we heard about you. We I heard you inspired us. And now you've elevated thin right you know. That was sorry to claim credit for guys but I thought what a great way to kind of wrap that character up to that point. There are lots I saw actually home wrap up exactly springboard that character development. I don't WanNa make sure that we've already touched on it. I WanNa make sure that we focus on it and get. Everyone's opinions her. We're all the characters that needed to be developed over the course of the three movie Arc developed to your liking that you talked about Kylo. He's bad and he's good. And I was conflicted and we know where the family he comes from. But you know and then you have ray who's essentially the centerpiece apiece right of this film saga She has a story now. Chris is saying well you've got to read other material in order to understand right what raise raise deal is during the saga Aaron State. They finally bring in raise parents in that brief flash gloss over but right their lives who went to. So what did you think of that scene. It was to your point to your point. Two quick as far as development goes to quick they keep up way compromised whitcomb from when we come from and then oh she's politics granddaughter but the parents are like non editing style. It's also been the genetic bowl pattern that starts with. The grandfather skips skipped son grandson. It's skipped parents. You only saw the tugs of the dark side like in the last thirty thirty five minutes Of this film and I think that that Earth a lot of sherlock fans that should have been a struggle it was very rushed. Yep like you saw on the original three four five and cigarette with the with the vader's yes yeah other characters. You wish John that they did a little bit more with two Chris Finn Nam as far as where he came from what his backstory was way. Wanted to tell Ray specifically I mean you're hearing Abramson up to the fact that he's four sensitive. We conclude that in the movie at all. Are we supposed to know this force center. Type the big meals. How do you define that? Jonah's four sensitive. What does that mean that he he feels something on what he feels? But I mean he's railway it works. I guess everybody watching tonight. This cross your legs but what does that mean. What does that mean for sensitive off again? He's around ray was a pretty girl right in in the movie right after the fact because if you mentioned in the movie all the questions would've blown up right is four cents a new thing and then if you don't address that then it's even more big right Elvin out there. Yeah you you had characters obviously from the original three had lay ahead C. Three Po. I WanNa your big issues was not enough to Keratin. John has for our two yes come on right. He's he's the tether other throughout all the films. The rate there's I think at some point he becomes a remote control right but the character was a human who played played fidget. In time. Anybody saw some uses knowledge. Come Albaro absolutely but interesting thing. Aren't you now. How is the one character who has seen all of his master's die right every single one of them straight through Anikin Laya Luke? Obi John Obi Wan Right. He's seen all of them. Go How do you give him such short shrift in the last movie and he and C. Three. Po Open up the very first movie. Yeah so I I just felt that they sidelined him a little bit and a little bit lot in this last movie over you. You essentially a rolling balls this new joy. Do that's my spirit's right. The terribly disturbed about do well thank you. Thank you and then leave me alone. That's you know if I could be a droid. That would be me and what they have to add another machine that just for marketing immigrant already out. The Funchal pop of our of dio was out. I think six months before the movie started. I don't have to draw the line so now the do pop so one thing that every star wars film is famous for our great battle scenes epic battle scenes where multiple full extras are. Out there. Swinging lightsabres shooting guns are there in a space vehicle of some sort. Just throwing my own personal opinion this whole thing there were so many death star battles over the course of the nine films right you had of course the big one in the original then you had another one in Djeddai then you had another another one in episode seven. The Force Awakens and my my biggest feeling of dread going into theater was. Is there going to be another death. Star are another x wing fighter that has slipped in and zapped the generator explode with a thought and everybody celebrates an indoor that kind of thing and there there was such a there was such a A temporary but it wasn't a star per se. John Brooks what did you think of the epic last Battle City. I liked it because there was no death star. Okay Frickley it was different. It was the whole Empire Fleet. This is the last battle who was all built up to this comes down to. There's no one big major base or one big major planet with a gun in the middle of it which. I can't believe that when still to this day you're gonNA build the planet killer enforce awaking so there was different respects seen when we come back. That was actually. I was fantastic just to see that I liked it. I like battle in this movie. It was very that a little having the the actual debt star crashed on the planet that that was I mean the wreckage yet into semantics has something the size of the planet land on a planet right but it was still cool to see it you know and then interact with it right. Bring it back into play last time and for all the Technology League that Star Wars provides one of the ways they were able to upend this. This new order was with these horny horses. Undetectable people you. You always have to switch any animal exactly right somewhere star wars right. If it's not as you walk it's There were you up yes there are well. It was nice to see rolling wicked junior looking over. I travel right. Yeah that's chuckled. I remember that was kind of a thing that was a thing at the end. Right right the right is that he had those Iraq of the day was that that was a lot of fancier. Sounds a lot offense. Another week thing was the spy fact. Okay so you had this guy's second command going in and he's he's the spy and he gets killed to second writer and it was like a shock for a second. Then those like really you know. Total the vice. Then let down right after. Yeah and he wasn't even a mole right the Whatever you want the rebel force? He was just didn't like Ray. We wanted to overthrows. He was all about interoffice politics. Right right right. Yeah yeah going back real quick to that last battle. Here's my problem with it. It seemed as though they watch the avengers and thought well you know it was a very three Landau showing up with that fleet. It was a very on your last moment right like from endgame right. Absolutely right moment where All the avengers show up at the last minute and hey by the way we're here now. Another thing I heard that probably would have been even been more impactful was instead of putting Landau on that ship that brings over this armada. How great would it have? Benefited Been Kyla Kylo. How great for him to redeem himself by instead of showing up right to save the day for Ray who really doesn't the need the day saved because she's he's thrown over the edge of a cliff and really doesn't help very much other than to give the life force at the end right instead of wasting racing his time there if he had left the wreckage of the star destroyer of the Of the death star and decided you know what they need is they need to rally the troops and he is the one who shows up and has that on your left. I don't agree with I agree I agree. I think it's crap I'm with you. I think that is the bullshit I just showed. Ah so you were. You were happier to watch him do a dance with three or four nights of ran who we know nothing about show up get tossed over the side of a cliff and then what he did in the last two minutes where he passed on his life force could still have been accomplished if if he had led the fleet and then showed up back there to finish up that down from the ship to one. I don't know I mean how how do you. I don't quite why he had no no connection with the fleet right. Even those play is loaded with fleas Pilot the guy has piloting his blood. Also Chedda I. He's also in the forest. He's also part of this whole battle with last night I remember vader was jed eye and he was able to be an amazing pilot. Luke skywalker blew up the death star and he was an amazing pilot kylo Ren I don't know why don't we. Why don't we make his contribution a little more a little more impactful than showing up to help a character? Who Does it need helping? She was dead she needed help. She was dead. Yeah that's when you show up so we're in a revisionist history rabbit hole. I don't I think most of the audience felt it either. What skill did you not have? He didn't have the power flight and he did. He did fly powerfully. You didn't see it. You didn't see it in the movie lose important. Of course you did. Actually you're that type era. Go ahead coming with. The fleet. Doesn't say motion resonance as Him Helping Ray who going back and forth this whole time. They'll check going back and forth connection. Could actually let me ask you. How deeply deeply did you feel it? When Lando showed up with the fleet others pretty cool but you like role now hasn't hasn't moved from a sitting position? The entire movie has now shown up with the fleet. How Landau manage the Falcons? Hear me out on this. I mean maybe Hansel Husan no gets the millennium by about that. I feel Phil. We're GONNA do. We'll never resolve this. And that's the the copy You know we have to tell them to tell us what just happened here so clearly. Things got so intense with this. Kylo should've would've flown the Millennium Falcon. I know should not that our guest not the Mica pulled the plug and almost almost came to blow. I went to go get a cup of coffee. Yeah I mean wow I mean that was. That was fun. You know what happens. Sometimes when there's like a heated the debate where chairs being thrown and and then the screen goes to please stand by Let's all have his end moment and then bring you back to fighting stance stance and fighting words. And now we're GonNa talk a little bit about this real quickly because the coach would like to say something I just I love the idea of who better to fly Huntsville. Thank you gotta give props. I understand I give you props because that I would have made the connection right away but that would have been. FBI Yeah shaded. The out of the out of the film thinking gets to the end of the lovely the end of their awkward. quit you know kiss or the love love whatever it might be or whatever it is the but I just had to just take a moment and I think I shut my load there if you need to do what. What what about? Dad's how many moons the Greek this It let's bring it back to a home base. I believe that's y'all Vin four Yes trip trivia nuggets about here so Manda Lorraine is the essentially the vehicle that suckered everybody into buying Disney plus including this sucker. That's that's speaking. I get it for free from my first first year. You're still a sucker because you believe me there's a price to common. It's common rumor. Has it the people drop their Their membership right after the end of the Mandala really but I also think that mistake common. I think they're filming it now right so so for those of you who are model aware of what this shows all about. This is not Boba Fett but this is a character called the mandatory and his name is Amanda Laurean and and he comes from the ancient bounty hunter order of Mandal Orients. There are seve