20 Episode results for "Bente"

Attract Good Things By Spreading Gratitude - Elena Anguita

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

30:32 min | 4 months ago

Attract Good Things By Spreading Gratitude - Elena Anguita

"Tain thing hugh my own my heart in q. No I just started recording these little daily serendipitous which then became very very large. And i call them my daily miracles so the one. I would like to share with you where i knew i needed to make. This book was My in my real life and my real job. I happened to be in sales. And this is like november twenty fourteen and at that time my quota was not to be attained because it was way too high and i that was fine. I was gonna focus on twenty-fifth anyway so out of the blue. I got a phone call from my client. Denise who had already renewed so it was kind of a done deal for the year but she said elena. Have you ever had a klein renew in advance. The answer is no. But i said well what you have in mind and i work with school districts and to say well. The school board may change with the upcoming election and a want to secure might order for next year. So could i renew advanced an asset will. What would you have in mind. And she said could have a five year contract so a one point one million dollar order in about two weeks so my figures went from nothing to stellar. And i knew that. The miracles can be very huge. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. Where you'll hear a news story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude. Live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable. Tips had now the host of our podcast georgian. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to new episode of gratitude. Podcast with me. I have an arena and guetta. She's an author speaker. A change agent who passionately supports education literacy and helping people learn. She launched the spread. Thanks revolution a movement to encourage personal gratefulness through the sending of daily. Thank you notes. I think this is a brilliant idea without talked a little bit about it before actually going live. And i'm really into jessica about our conversation. Because i feel that it's so Powerful and it's so it comes from from a really beautiful place and I really want to share the story with you and watch wants to do in this role. Because i can really feel that. It's it's really beautiful and the way she should watch watched it's you will feel and yeah without further ado. Now welcome to the gretz. Do fuck guest. Thank you so much jordan. I'm honored to be with you today. And i'm so glad we had the opportunity for this time does basically to tell you my story how this came to me about over three years ago and i almost remember like it happened. Yesterday i was walking in my house. And i was stopped dead in my tracks by what my book called a wash. Something that stopped me. At in that wash i saw vision and the vision set a thank you day and based on that i had enough trust to start this practice of writing a thank you note every single day and the thank you note was to a real person. It wasn't to the universe it was to to somebody and it was a fact. I actually made sure got delivered. So what i noticed. Immediately as part of the journey was at whatever mood. I was in that day whether it be bad mood. It was raining out or neutral mood when i was done with my thank you note. My mood was elevated to one of gratitude. And so i would go onto my day in a higher state and what i also noticed. Happening right away was that they used on that. Some little serendipity or something good would happen that day from to be grateful for so it was as simple as i would be driving to an appointment and my side of the highway was crystal clear and the other side of the highway was a parking lot and i would say whoa good thing. I'm on this side of the highway. And then i realized wow yesterday. I found the perfect parking spot. And so i just started recording. These little daily serendipity which then became very very large. And i call them my daily miracles so the one i would like to share with you. Were i knew. I needed to make this book was my in my real life. My real job. I happened to be in sales. And this is like november twenty fourteen and at that time my quota was not to be attained because it was way too high and that was fine. I was going to focus on twenty fifteen anyway so out of the blue. I got a phone call from my client into denise who had already renewed so it was kind of a done deal for the year but she said elena. Have you ever had a client renew in advance and the answer is no but i said well what you have in mind and i work with school districts and to stay well. The school board may change with the upcoming election and a want to secure my order for next year. So could i renew in advance. An asset will shoot him. What would you have in mind. And she said could have a five year contract so high a woman one million dollar order in about two weeks so my figures went from nothing to stellar. And i knew that miracles can be very huge. So i just had to share that with you. Because that's when i knew i had a brain that level of magic to other people through writing a book so big one. That's amazing. I love the fact that You mentioned how it actually compounds. The fact that by doing this more and more you get to have bigger and bigger miracles. I focused more on the podcasts On another part that you also mentioned before we we actually got live the fact that it has such a positive influence on us as a person practicing gratitude. Can you tell us a little bit about that. Part of your journey. Absolutely and actually. That's the best part because as you can imagine Having to write a thank you note every day to a real person you are paying attention to the person helping the girls restoring you actually start paying attention to these tiny little transactions in your life and so what happens is you become more mindful so you become more focused on every moment of the day. If you're looking for your thanking a recipient of you're looking through daily miracle that shattering mind actually slows down. So i found that to be like this immense benefit from it but also again having to write a thank you note every day. You have to be creative. So i found myself having to write. Thank you notes in the past sometimes to somebody who had already passed away like my mom and but in writing this thanking node First of all. I felt this man's gratitude but then the were healings that occurred at the seoul level. So i thought boy what an amazing magical way and other thanking knows that written action in the future if i was going to a presentation and i didn't know what the outcome would be and then i would write a thank you note to the person organized. The meeting thanking the percent for this great come and then lo and behold that outcome came to be and i actually setting the intention for that wonderful thing to come into my life so gratitude can work its magic and many many ways and but the greatest to me. The greatest benefit of all was that it's not about manifesting the stuff in your life. It's about the stuff it's about the shift that occurs in you. You become a calm person. You're less stressed you're happier. You are looking at your day through a prism of gratitude. So to me. That's the greatest miracle of all exactly exactly. I've seen this shift in my life as well. And i i totally agree with what you're saying and the fact that we in in my view amazing things are happening each and every day let's We are not trained to see them. We are trained Too much more to see the things that stress says that things that we feel threatened by one way or another or that might might make us feel bad In some sort of way and this balances things out so beautiful. Ian it makes us have a totally different view on the world. Exactly the the other thing. I wanted to share with you. That was another. A ha moment for me was that i love all gratitude practices. Don't take me wrong. And gratitude journals or a beautiful practice but one morning i was at a loss row thanking recipient and i actually i was staying at a hotel and i wrote a thank you to the to the housekeeper said oh sure. I'm grateful for her service. So i wrote in your housekeeper. Travel a great deal with my job. Thank you so much for all you do. I so appreciate coming back to a clean invited the end of the day so that night. I just happened to come back to the same hotel. And i opened the door and lo and behold there was a note from her to me saying dear miss sangita so she took the time to look for my name she said. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be appreciative. Thank you so much. And i was stopped in my tracks again with another woosh and said unlike a gratitude journal which stays with a writer this actually touches the recipient and i thought maybe she was having a bad day and her was elevated so saw this beautiful like the wings of a butterfly that cause the typhoon at the end of the ocean. This is just a pay it forward kind of putting good energy and affecting the lives of you know and love it. I love it and There's this thing. I dunno if i'll be able to remember it correctly and that someone that feels appreciate. It will definitely do more than is expected. Yes and we we as human beings. We need feel appreciate that. We need to to to feel that we have meaning in what we're doing and people like you are amazing in in the sense that you you help other people see that. Their work is appreciated. And i do this. Also but they do i do it. I just spelled people. Or i. I ride i ride on either on facebook or i write emails but i should definitely start doing this as well and actually write a these kinds of. Thank you notes. Because i love the that. I can imagine how amazing it can be four for that personality they can actually take it home and As as the reminder yet and the other thing about the handwritten thank you know which again all these things jordan. I'm not an expert on. I discovered in my journey is the handwriting self. Is your unique fingerprint. Your handwriting is different from mine is different from my friend. Jennifer's and carries your energy as a result. So my friends. Because you know i was writing. Thank you notes every day. So you know. My friends received many of my ankles along the way. And they said elena when i open the mailbox and see your handwriting. I'm already enjoy so. There's something about handwriting that i may not understand fully. What i know makes a difference so again. i'm you can text. you can email. Those things are fabulous expressions as well. But there's something so beautiful about your handwriting. And i know that i've i've kept every single thanking i received from my nieces and nephews when the growing up they kept thanking us the received from me so i encourage people to i know some big digital age pencil. Pick up the phone and go back to handwriting. If you can. That's awesome that's awesome and by the way. Give us some ideas so you. You told us the story from the hotel room but i do whom can we. Can we send these distinction. Thank you notes. And which situations any of them. So they were as i'll give you some other mundane now situations for may so one of them. I actually broke down on the highway. there was row degree that came from a truck. I couldn't avoid hitting it. So i had two flat tires so of course on the side of the road and then of course the tow truck arrived and and then i was sent to the whatever tire center or whatever and what used to be a very negative. I would've perceived to be a very negative event in my life right instead. Became a source of lots of gratitude because first of all the day was beautiful. Second of all. I did not get really hurt. So i was lucky right and third of all. Everybody seemed to conspire to give me back on road in the nick of time. So the tow truck arrive pretty quickly. The tire center was right there. The manager of the tire center just stopped all the presses and got me back on the road and has said so. I was grateful for him and so i noticed his name tag right. You give recreativo when you're wanting to because you want to surprise them to sign noticed his name. I got the address of the. It happened to be a walmart and a sentiment. Thank you note with. Colorful high-quality vibrant designs and unique laser cut shapes the unit dragon. Also keep you engaged and create beautiful moments with family or friends that you can cherish together. it's also ineffective stress reliever for when you want a quick break from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Go to georgia. Manta dot com slash. You need dragon or visit. The link in the description for ten percent discount directly on amazon with promo code gratitude. Twenty twenty one for all union. Dragon puzzles check out the reviews people are loving them or sometimes it could be somebody at the grocery store that helped me put the bags in my trunk because i had a lot of bags and so i was thankful for that person or i travel a great deal With job so obviously if a caceres help to secure reservation but then look around at your network of family and friends and neighbors who perhaps somebody helped get your kids You were running late and your kids. Were coming from the bus. Stop and your friend. Was there to greet them. You will notice if you pay attention that every single day. Somebody's going to help you in a small or big way to pay attention and you'll find it so friends family strangers grocery store clerks people at department stores hotels restaurants trust me. I hope i've given you enough examples of. Yeah definitely definitely elevate. And i think it just wind widens our perspectives on what can be done. And i'm also curious how. How do you do it exactly like you also told us the story with down with walmart. Yes okay and Yeah so you knew the address new the name of the guy yet and you you sent a thank you note afterwards resorts. Y'all this is this is really really awesome. I think the impact is even bigger somehow. Yeah but how do you do like in a when you go grocery shopping or something. How exactly like you. You have Abend and always i always have Thank you notes. And i always have a pen my purse. I always carry. Thank you notes. But i typically will do it you know. Let's say the grocery store. I won't do it right away. I'll go home and write a thank you note and send it to that person because again. I think it's about receiving something in the mail. That is so special. But i always travel with thank you notes. I always have thanks to my. And i have my gratitude journal. My daily miracle journal tucked away my purse. Because not i rem- all that's a wonderful thing. That happened at jot equipped little note. And then i'll go home in the evening and maybe elaborate on that. Does that make sense. Yes three step process right. Pay attention to your day right your thank you note and then record the miracle. If if you found a miracle happened that day nothing. I believe that every day we can find miracles. They don't have to be big. You don't have to sell a million dollars worth anything to have it on your grad your journal and i don't mean for that example i just. I just meant to point out that. That miracle was so huge. Yeah definitely held me to write a book. But no i i think the most the most significant miracle to me at that time was the note to the housekeeper when she will back to me. I thought that was a better message. Because i got the fact that it doesn't stay with me. It goes out to the recipient so that to me was such a beautiful moment. Exactly exactly so i don't mean to say that It's not amazing that you have big miracles but you don't have the every day and if we just wait for big miracles so we can be great grateful. It might take a while or might not actually get to happen. Because if we don't appreciate us all-south the bigger stuff won't be appreciated as well. So that's exactly what it is in reached the stage that to me almost every moment of my days. Miracle antidote. sounds a little crazy but when you do look at your life with things like that. That adversity was not an adversity. You know with my tire problem. That actually was a good thing that happened to me when you start to label things differently like adversity is no longer adversity. The life is so much happier. She don't have the stress that i used to have. So i i'm a different person these days in feel so humbled georgia in that. I was chosen to go through this ride. I wash that came to me. And i feel for me to be the vessel of this practice. I am a humble humble servant and very grateful. I know the feeling. I one of the motivations for starting the podcast was an extreme that similar to yours so i i can totally relate from that standpoint and i know you know how how it is to feel that. It's it's quite amazing. That's great that's wonderful. And i'm not trying to plug my book in any way but when you asked for sample of people to whom to thank or even sample thank you notes. That is why my book it. Has you know a group of people to look for for It has some sample thanking us with some of my friends. Unfortunately the millennials have told me that they don't really know how to write a thank. You note which sounds a little crazy to me. I'm like okay. Well let me help you through that process. That's why i have all tips and techniques in my book and again. I'm not plugging it but i just want to help people. I want to start a movement as you know Spread thanks movement in and make the world a better place definitely definitely. I think it's very important for us to do this. And i can sense the power. Because i received my cell. He received the thank you notes and of course the ones that were handwritten were indeed very war and actually are very special to me and i really appreciate them and you can feel that that person even if it was like do maintenance or five minutes of their time they took the time to write something versus to you. And that's that's very special. I completely agree and the fact that handwriting takes a little longer than typing. I actually think brains your energy to a different place right because you actually are spending five minutes ingratitude or three calling beautiful gesture. That's what causes the shift. So it's just it's this perfect little very simple practice that could change your life amazing amazing and in in this journey of yours. Do you have some really funny experiences that you have with the thank you notes or. That's that was surprising for you. Well I guess the the surprise of being able to not enough. It was fine but to actually set an intention through a thank. You note in had that. Come to you and manifest to me. Was this incredible moment But there are so many funny things along the way and and so many just this just life unfolds in such a beautiful serendipitous way Just most recently. I had my lunch just the week before last. And i happen to have left my house without my cell phone which who does that these days but i had and so everybody was looking for me because my book launch was that evening. Will my neighbor carolyn. Who happens to know this person by the name of hoda and happens to be on television in the united states. She was trying to reach me because she was going to see. Hoda that afternoon in harrisburg because hoda was launching her wine. Label or whatever. But i wasn't home to get her messages so she was reading my doorbell and she noticed that there were books there like boxed the boxes there and she got all. I wonder if those could be the books and sure enough. They were so she opened. The box took a book and brought it to hoda. Which was this crazy serendipity because my books had arrived on the day of my launch so that was a very stressful event. It wasn't stressful. It was perfect. There was supposed to arrive at that time on my door. Stoop for my neighbor to find one and bring one to hold up. That did on. My store even makes sense. I just wanted to share with you. It was this crazy. Little set of circumstances where something that i thought was not to be was precisely the way database. So anyway. that's amazing wonderful things along the way georgia. Yeah i love it. I love it then. These things for my experience as well. These things really happen once you and it's There's this book from I dunno from hawking swift the scale of consciousness. Or something like this and he speaks about where you are taking into consideration the the main Feeling that you have most of the time like if you if you're living in gratitude Or in love or divide kinds of feelings these the risk this scale and at one point it says that if you live in gratitude with gratitude A lot of the time you get these kinds of synchrony cities and like magical things happening. Yes yes. I think. I may have the same book. And in those energies are calibrated right and and love and gratitude calibrate of at five hundred which was very high rate and i had this beautiful quotas. One of my favorite quotes from dr Wayne dyer and it says hostile. People live in a hostile world. Happy people live in a happy world. Same world it is. It's your attitude towards your environment is what you can change and you can create an experience. That is totally joyful. Earn experience at totally miserable. It's your choice. So i now choose to look at my life with gratitude and a brings all these beautiful miracle than this beautiful happiness it. The universe will respond to let energy whatever that may be so exactly exactly and the beautiful part. Is that quantum physics also dogs. They are proving this the fact that our experience of reality is subjective. We might think that the world is something objective that Just happens to be. But it's actually the work of our all of our subjective view on and so yeah it's amazing amazing. it's a science is coming. Around to prove spirituality. Bright things that we may have known intuitively or through the heart or the sole host is actually proving that when you look at things their way you look at things the things you look at change right to mazing. It's amazing. I think every second is Is exactly the way it's supposed to be on the journey that we have chosen fabulous. That's beautiful that's beautiful. And i totally believe that. Gratitude is so important with acknowledging this and it's something that isn't yet wired in our brain and we need to to get the our brain rewired so so we can focus on that but You are Standing example of this that you can definitely get that point and actually live that gratitude each and every day and and enjoy the amazing miracles even though they might be heathen sometimes hidden in different kinds of situations. Right it's the labels we put on situations because every moment is a miracle. I really fully believe that and i I feel as though i stumbled upon something that is so deep and powerful yet so very simple so i'm continue to be grateful that this spread thanks vision. If you will came to me and the ad i have the the face to started livid and now share it so yeah that's awesome so by the way. Where can our audience find you. Where can our audience your work. So thank you for the opportunity to share because i do want to create a movement. I have a website. It's called www dot spread fangs dot com and on the web side. You'll learn a little about my journey. I have three little videos. I am all new to this so if the video are not perfect. Please forgive me. I am just new to this practice of broadcasting but it will give you a sense of some of the things i found about the practice and you can also buy my book and i working on making kit. The kit which is will be available soon but it will include the book a set of thank you notes and the journal so that you can get started without any excuse and just get started writing. Thank you notes and logging. Bureauc- -als so thank you so much also. My book is available on amazon dot com on its costs spread. Thanks create miracles to the power of ink. So thank you jordan for the opportunity to share my story and i love what you're doing with gratitude and i'm honored to have been part of your your podcast. Thank you so much has been a pleasure having you on having this amazing discussion about gratitude. Thank you so much for being here anytime georgia. Thanks so much.

elena george bente Bente miss sangita jordan tire center Denise hugh Abend walmart daily miracle journal denise jessica georgia Ian Jennifer facebook amazon
Discovering Higher Gratitude Through The Magic Of Love - Guy Finely

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

49:29 min | 2 years ago

Discovering Higher Gratitude Through The Magic Of Love - Guy Finely

"Love has brought us together. So that we can grow in an understanding of love through each other. That's the beauty of this higher. Gratitude is the realization that I didn't bring my partner into my life. I wasn't the one who chose the the the thing that I love to do in this world. I was drawn to it because through being attracted to my partner to what I love in life, the mountain top the hike, the birds, whatever it may be I am revealed to myself. I get to discover that we're not for that love. I would never know the love that lives in me. So that love is. In fact, not just the mirror in which I see these beautiful things, but it is the mirror in which I see myself as an. Instrument of this love. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on WWW dot George in Bente dot com, where you'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests, and they're actionable tips had now the host of our podcast Georgian Bente, high your seeker, welcome to new episodes of gratitude podcast today with us. We have guy Finley. He's a bestselling self help writer and internationally internationally renowned spiritual teacher he's the author of over forty five books and audio programs in Vigo programs, including his acclaim book, the street secret of letting go he popular books and audio programs several of which have become international bestseller's have. Sold over two million copies worldwide his considered a modern they mystic and practical philosopher guys wisdom, cut straight to the heart of today's most pressing personal and social issues relationships. Success addiction stress peace happiness freedom and lease the way to a higher life. Guy has been featured has been a featured guest on over seven hundred dollar vision and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and NPR. He is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post. Belief net positively positive and many more in two thousand eleven he launched the one journey project. An award-winning interfaith website illuminating, the unseen spiritual unity. Underlying all world religions. I think that's amazing. And we will definitely get this at one point. But first guy welcome to the gratitude podcast. Thank you Georgian. And I am thankful to have the time with you. So am I really happy to have you here and to have this conversation? You're also the author of of a new book relationship magic waking up together. I think that's a beautiful beautiful idea waking up together, and we will speak about this book as well in in this interview. But firstly I would like us to go into a concept that I think it's it's very fascinating that you have divine the satisfaction. I know that you. That you have a really interesting perspective on the fact that we get the satisfied in our life at times. And I'm really curious how this divide the satisfaction relates to grant it you. In in a very important way Georgian. The idea of divine disatisfaction is directly related to gratitude. So let's examine it together. For a moment. First, let's describe what divine dissatisfaction is because it's just a term that I coined to describe a very common experience that all of us have. But that most of us don't quite understand, its meaning. All of us, and you be pleased advocate for the listeners. Are pretty fortunate in life relative to. Others that we see other countries other. Cultures where? People aren't of afforded as much opportunity as at least potentially we in the west and in your country and other. First world countries are capable of of allowing human beings to be and as such Georgian. We have. So much that we're we're we so much opportunity so many ways in which we can go into the world and not just make our way. But through our efforts received the rewards of our. Of the things that we have chosen to do. And here's the point the divine disatisfaction if the things. If the I'm sorry about that different things if the things of the world in and of themselves were capable of. Making us feel whole completing us getting that sense of of arriving at at a satisfaction. If they could do that ended up themselves Georgian, we would already feel complete. We wouldn't be running around looking for hoping that the next thing that we're going to do we'll finally turn the table and make us free. And that it doesn't and the reason that all of these relationships in the world fail to make us whole bring about the freedom lasting sense of it that we want is. Because there is something in us that needs something more than what this world can give to us in the end. This is this is the impulse behind all men and women who seek a relationship with God with Christ with the divine, whatever it. Is that we may call that so divine disatisfaction is just a way I say that if the world itself had the power to produce in us, a lasting sense of happiness and homeless we would have found it by now, and we haven't so that's the first part divine disatisfaction, the second part is that little by little as we realize this. We begin to understand that the disappointments in our life those relationships that did not bring about what we hope they would even though they may be good. I've been married for forty years Georgian. I'm the luckiest man on earth. But both my wife, and I understand that. There are relationships that belong to this world. And then there is another relationship that we only eventually come to realize with something that is interior something that is spiritual in nature. And that's where the real gratitude is because eventually we start to realize that we can have what this world offers us. But when we have what if you will God, the divine offers us what real love provides. Then we have the whole thing where we have a gratitude that can't be taken away from us when the world around us changes because it belongs to a change this world. That's the point. Well, that's so deep and so beautiful. It's it's an interesting perspective on gratitude that I have never heard before as as a feeling that that is so deep that's actually like I can deal Shen like in the bottom of the ocean, regardless regardless of the ways, it's still there. It's still yes. Yes. So they've. Yeah. And and look at. And I hope we don't get too deep. Too fast. You keep me you keep me up on the top here. No problem. I mean Georgian we go through this world our lives. And again by grace by effort, the combination we succeed and become respected. Maybe in our profession. We were fortunate enough to have a family, if we are we have our health, but all of the things that we experienced in this life that define us presently as Uman beings belong to the conditions around us, and when we live as human beings dependent upon conditions that we have no actual control over. Then the condition changes. And when it does our contentment goes flying out the window. I could be the richest man in the world. And if somehow something happens, the the the coffee crop fails in Brazil, and I'm a coffee lover, suddenly I feel like I don't have anything because something that defined me outside of me has changed. And now, I don't know who I am for that moment. So I have fear, and I'm saying that we can't really have a deep and constant gratitude for being alive until we begin to realize that part of our life. The purpose of it is to bring us into a relationship with a love alight a truth that is unconditional. And that's what my new book relationship. Magic act. Actually talks about and helps the reader realize that there is a relationship that we can have with something higher than ourselves that brings about in our everyday relationships a much greater gratitude for them because we start to realize the true purpose that all of our relationships have which is to introduce us to parts of ourselves that otherwise we would never ever know. I love that perspective. So it's actually. Way in which we explore ourselves, basically, every relationship wherein. And the the interesting part is that we don't always like what we see. Especially when it comes to deeper relationships like in family, or in a couple of relationship many things that we don't particularly like come up. What do we do with them? But that's perfect. Okay. So look this is delightful Georgian. I live in southern Oregon in the United States and for those who don't know about southern Oregon. It is a a a mountainous. Tree covered beautiful part of the country and by by fortune. I live on top of a small mountain just outside of a little community called Merlin, Oregon where I live in teach and I'm looking out the window right now. And then I wish that everyone could see there's three deer that are grazing or maybe thirty feet from where I sit there friends of mine, I've been feeding them and their family for twenty years. There's turkeys there's squirrels. There's birds at my feet her and the sun is out and all the trees with their new leaves from spring are are reflecting this beautiful light. Now, I sit here. And I know I'm lucky I have such gratitude the gratitude is because when I look out in this world that I live in review. Field within me. Because of what I see is a quality and character in my consciousness that I wouldn't ordinarily no without being in relationship with the world that I'm looking at. So we all should understand that we go to the ocean. We look up at a mountain range. We we go outside and see a a timeless night sky. Why are we drawn to these things because when we are in relationship with them in the moment, they are literally awakening and revealing in us, a certain beauty, a certain depth a certain character that we don't know lives in our consciousness until the condition allows the revelation of it. So the first point is that these conditions. Outside of us that we love reveal to us moments and qualities in ourselves that we also love because they are deep and abiding and stirring, aspiring in their appearance. So then we meet somebody. And when we first fall in love everybody knows what that's like we can't get enough of the person. We're with. They they are doing for us. What I've described my partner is revealing to me things about myself that I had no idea lived in me, the passion the the willingness and the longing to give something up for the sake of them. All of these wonderful attributes are awakened by my partner, and I love basically, not just by partner. But I love my partner because through the relationship I am being completed. I am gaining a new kind of self realization through the revelations. They are bringing into my life. Are you following me Georgia? Yeah. Definitely how to your question. So we love I call it. The Woohoo stage when our partner veal's to us all of these magnet. Efficient deep passionate parts of ourselves. Now, I get to the rue who the boohoo stage from Wuhu to boo because the same principle is now working my partner instead of Mirroring being the mirror of my consciousness of things in me. I want to see by divine grace by good fortune. They are revealing in the mirror of this relationship. Parts of my consciousness, I did not know where their limitations demands fears, jealousies qualities of a level of consciousness that are still in me. But that I am asleep too. Until my partner pushes that button. Stirs in me that particular order of self. And I go oh my God. And then rather than than looking and saying, you know, what thank you. I'm grateful for you helping me wake up to these parts of myself. Instead of that, I go no, you're to blame. You're the one responsible for this unwanted feeling this revelation, and that's where we missed the Mark in our relationships, not just with our partners. But with every moment and every person everywhere in the world because that's what relationships are their purpose is to awaken us, first and foremost to what is beautiful and satisfying. And then awaken us to these parts of ourselves that are in the way of realizing that the relationship can bring about a complete new order of self a new discovery. That releases us from who? And what we've been that is limited sorry to go on for so long. But I wanted to get the big idea out. No this is perfect because it's a very deep concept and a very powerful one. And it's very applicable like for our listeners, we can go into our relationships. And of course, when things are great, and when we have gratitude practices, it's easy to to see the beautiful things in our partners. But there are times when that can be quite the challenge. And I know that guy also has a really beautiful perspective on the bane that we feel when we argue for instance, and hurting together, and the fact that when your partner or yourself. Or you are in pain. You're actually hurting together. Can you talk a little bit about this concept with us? I think it's it's really beautiful. Yes. I I'm I'm grateful that you found that section of the book and are drawn to it. Because it's so important for us to understand what when we hear it. I'll say it we go. Of course, that's true. But when we get negative when we don't understand the reason for the pain, we're feeling with our partner. We forget completely the following. Love can't turn into hatred. Love doesn't, cultivate, resentment love never separates it integrates. Love heals. That's its nature. It doesn't hurt. And as we know if we know anything about scripture east or west perfect, love casts out fear. It doesn't relate fearful conditions. So we know the beauty of love with one part of us. But when we are stirred into some kind of suffering by an action that our partner is taking toward us. We completely forget the beauty of that love and instead are blinded by our negative reaction. So here's the first point when we are negative Georgian. We are blind, pure and simple. We go blind. We go blind. Because all we can see in the moment when we're negative is the one we blamed for our pain. The important point here is that and I'll ask you Georgian when you get upset with somebody if you're angry with someone or feel somehow betrayed in that moment, are you happy with your partner. Are you a content human being or before you express the negatively the anger the regret the resentment before you express that pain? Are you not in pain yourself? And isn't the fact that you're in pain, the reason why you're lashing out at your partner, isn't that why we lash out at our partner? We're I in pain. Exactly, exactly. All right. So we in that moment are in pain, and we are blaming our partner for our pain. So now we lash out at our partner, and what happens to our partner when we lash out at. Them are they happy are they content or by the fact of our wanting to punish them or prove that we're right? Does that action not produce pain and subsequent resistance in Vam? Yeah. So what happens when two people are sitting there? And each of them is convinced that the other person is responsible for their pain. When the fact of the matter is and this is critical. My partner did not create pain in me. My partner revealed that there is pain in me waiting to be stirred awake based on something. That is as simple as me resisting. You correcting me we don't like it when our partner corrects us. We think it's natural to lash back to say, well, you're just like that. Or you do that to instead of understanding that the reason we've summarily resist our partner in that moment is because we have without knowing it an expectation that lives inside of us that we should never be corrected that were beyond being guided by someone our opinion is the only opinion now when we're quiet and calm. We don't think that about ourselves. Do you think? To yourself Georgian that you're beyond report repoach, and that you're you're a perfect human being. No, no. Of course. Not. But if someone challenges you what happens get defensive. Yes, I'm right? You're wrong. Here's the point if I'm negative. I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. Because this negatively has suddenly been revealed in me, I'm wrong because I'm rejecting the revelation of that level of consciousness that my partner has revealed. That's the beauty of partnerships. It isn't just that we get along perfectly. It's that there is a perfect accord possibly between us where instead of blaming each other for what is revealed through our relationships, we use the revelation as a form of self realization. So that I can begin to wake up to the demands that I place on my partner from perhaps past experiences where I'm jealous. Man or a jealous woman. Not because I see my partner looking around, but because I've had other moments of feeling betrayed and my partner may not even be looking around at another person. But I look at them. And that's what I see because it comes up from the past in me, and it pounces my partner and often produces by the way, the very thing. I fear will happen. Yeah. Exactly. Sorta understand. To actually realize my partner is in pain too. We never think to ourselves when we're fighting with our partner that there's suffering like we are. Because all we know is that we want to get rid of our pain. And all we see is the one we blamed for it. So that when we're blind love has no chance to work its magic. And it's magic is to reveal to us that we are in this moment to gather. I'm not the one responsible for the pain and your not the one responsible for the pattern. This pain is driving when we blame. But when we can see it. We can begin to recognize someone has to change here. Someone has to drop the hatred. Someone has to see the pattern can't change. If we're both driving it with dark, angry thoughts and feelings and that revelation brings about the opportunity for sacrifice for real love, which is giving myself up because I recognize the self that I'm momentarily identified with that level of consciousness is the problem and not the solution it promises if I do what it demands me to do then the pattern can change because at least one person in that pattern understands the. Only way it can change is if I see the truth of myself and accept it. And stop identifying with who. And what is trying to make me the winner in that moment. Exactly, exactly. And what I found in in in my experience that focusing on the heart on on what you feel and on the love that you have for the other person works miracles, and that dimes you can actually see or actually feel. The fact that the words or the actions were out of pain. And and I really love your concept of the fact that we're hurting together, but we're bringing loved to this, and we are growing together through through this love. Now, very important. You said we are going together through this for love grilling together. Yes. But the, but the truth is that love has brought us together. So that we can grow in an understanding of love through each other. That's the beauty of this higher. Gratitude is the realization that I didn't bring my partner into my life. I wasn't the one who chose the the the thing that I love to do in this world. I was drawn to it because through being attracted to my partner to what I love in life, the mountain top the hike, the birds, whatever it may be I am revealed to myself. I get to discover that we're not for that love. I would never know. No, the love that lives in me. So that love is. In fact, not just the mirror in which I see these beautiful things, but it is the mirror in which I see myself as an instrument of this love, this is such a powerful important idea because as we awaken to that we start to recognize anew said at very, well, if I actually saw that my partner was suffering because of what I was doing. And what I was doing. I was doing because I blame them for my pain. I even write a whole chapter about this in the book, if I could see another human being suffering because of my actions, I would have to bring an end to that action because love will not allow a human being to make another human being suffer. It will not allow it. That's called conscience. And conscience is asleep. In us. It's been put to sleep by a world driven mad with pain. It doesn't understand and the more. It doesn't understand the 'cause the nature of that pain. The more it produces different solutions, phoney baloney, laws and moral codes to keep the thing. Ideally at a peaceful state when it's not it's just a way in which the pain stays hidden. And if we want the world to change we have to start changing ourselves through our relationships, and what they show to us about these unconscious parts of ourselves that we've been instrumented, but can finally learn to see and release. There's stand. That's that's quite amazing and very very powerful and deep, and it it makes you think like how our individual relationships sexually have an impact on the world. And basically this this is this is the world and how it's created by and through relationships, but I wanted to get to another part of your book. How do we get to feel that fresh start again that magic in the relationship and that appreciation that we we felt in the beginning. You know, if you and I were to transport back in time. Let's say to even the eighteen hundreds and we took with us a little pocket flashlight. And we've told the flashlight out and showed someone that we met there. The light coming out of this little instrument. They would say, oh my God, you're a wizard wouldn't they? They'd say that's magic. Now. We know it's not magic. 'cause we understand something about a little light bulb. We understand about LED. We understand about batteries the conveyance of electricity into an instrument. So the book is called relationship. Magic waking up together because there are moments when and we've been talking about it leading up to this here. I am and I was at the supermarket and somebody pushed right in front of me while I was getting ready to check out with two shopping carts loaded with small items So we all know what that's like, we don't go. Gee, so glad you were rude and pushed in front of me, we might even get negative and say something, and it wouldn't end just there would it. We'd get in our car thinking about how rude people. Are we drive home? Maybe because we're caught up in thought get cut off by someone or cut someone off they hawk at us. We get more mad than we walk in the door and our partner says hi sweetheart. And what do we do we bark at them? Yeah. Why because we're carrying the residue of this anger from the moments before. Now, let's change the scenario. I get out of the car and because I'm still angry. I dropped the bag of groceries, and my anger hits this peak moment and there because I have been willing to learn these. Principals. I suddenly see. Oh my God. I m on fire, I've been reliving a moment seemingly for the sake of understanding it and getting rid of it. But the more I've attended to this moment. The more I ache for the revisitation of that pain. And I understand now the condition isn't causing this pain in me. It is a function of a level of consciousness that doesn't know better than the keep reliving the thing it doesn't want and in that split second Georgian. It's dropped. I am outside and the observer of on an a state of myself that I was suffering from the moment before and now instead of suffering. I'm grateful for the revelation for the light that showed me my unconscious state. So I walk into the house. Full of a refreshed understanding, not bringing my partner my pain, but literally bringing my partner a new human being with a new level of understanding about himself. So that I don't bring my pain to my partner. I bring a fresh insight, and when I'm a little bit different by law any relationship, I'm in is also refreshed. There's a new possibility because just as an example, the magic of being transformed by the revelation, and my agreement to see the truth of it allows my partner a an extra space because maybe they have the same day I did and their negative. So I walk in and I see their negative. But I understand in that moment why they're negative their living from the same level of. Consciousness. I almost brought into the house with me. So I don't attack back. I give them space. I let them manifest what they do. Because if I don't resist them, they will see what they're like, I call it that you jitsu of love. They throw a punch psychologically, and I just step out of the way. I don't try to stop it. I don't try to hit back. I just let them experience their nature without interfering with it. Then my partner has the chance for magical moment to see I'm not fighting with them. So they're paying has nowhere to go. They have to see their pain. Then we have the chance of to Uman beings each discovering something true about themselves and bringing a new understanding into the relationship. That refreshes the relationship and their loved together because of it. Wow. This is beautiful, and it it makes so much sense. And I could really relate to it. And I could think of situations where where I was able to do that. And it was awesome menstruation in which I wasn't. And it didn't turn turn out that that good. But it's it's so powerful, and yes, but Georgian, and I know by the tone of your voice and your spirit. That even the moments that you were not able to do the good that you would put rather did the the bad the evil that you didn't want those are learning moments. If I if I don't come out of a moment where I see you know, what I can't. I can't believe that. I I flipped out. And I understand that that moment isn't. So that I can judge myself as being bad it isn't to walk around with guilt. Because I wasn't able to do the good that I wanted instead of blaming myself or the world for my negatively, I understand that in that moment, this unconscious nature was simply greater than my ability to recognize and release it. But because of it, I will be more vigilant. I will understand that when I'm not properly attentive wanting to witness the revelation the moment produces in me that an unattended mind is the breeding ground of defeat. So I I gained from that moment the lesson that I. I must be more mindful. I must be more attentive to myself Christ said physician heal thyself. That's what he's talking about. He said love thy enemy that means. Learn to recognize that the people that you want to blame are actually people that you should learn to appreciate because they are helping you. Discover the part of you that can only go blind when challenged and that you don't wanna be a blind human being anymore. You wanna be a human being who sees the truth of himself or herself? And that's what your partner, that's what the problems. That's what this life brings to us are ways in which we can begin to realize an order of love in us that cannot be turned into its opposite. Wow. This is amazing. It's his amazing. And I I want to get back to to something that I mentioned in the beginning do to wrap this up. I think at least in my experience, and I would love to stew to hear your perspective on this. I've I've been curious about different ways of seeing God, then the spirituality religion. And for me. Do spill spiritual truths that I've seen that. I felt that were everywhere were gratitude and love what's your take on this? What if we what if we understood not just intellectually and not just because we had a deep meditation or a bit of grace granted through prayer or that through mindfulness? There was an epiphany that made us feel whole what if we understood from the inside out? That our life our consciousness, not mine, not Georgians, not the individual listeners. But our consciousness itself is a reflection of something divine. That the world we are in literally exists as a school for our higher education, not a place that we raced through to win something, but literally a a level a kingdom in which the principal gold. The riches are the revelations that are all built into the moment, we are in and that the purpose of every moment of our life is the transference of this understanding that we are created for the purpose of fulfilling the realization of our relationship with this divine love and intelligence that permeates every fiber of our being if we understood that as true mystics as true. That's the true saints the true mystics in this world will all say that there is a divinity that sits at the bottom of all revelation, and that it is this divinity that does not have a name that longs to be realized and have its will recognized through the instrument. It created for that purpose. And that's what we are as Uman beings. So the idea of naming God and of hating anyone who doesn't love the God. We love is an act of a mind that is blind to its own definition of what the divine is when we understand even a little bit of that. Then every moment, at least this is how I understand it. We begin to see that all things good. Come to those for whom the good is all things. And when we see that nothing bad can come out of a moment where we are introduced to parts of ourselves that are self punishing or that lash out at others. What else is that? But good because we can begin to die to that part of ourselves as a result of the revelation. So that's the grand good. And that's awesome. It Louis the grand gratitude a life that is free of fear because we are created to transcend the fearful parts of ourselves born out of being conditioned by a world. That's a sleep to itself. Wow. This is amazing. And it's is the perfect ending to. Dollar interview. Thank you so much for being Hewitt us and for imparting so much, wisdom and knowledge, I really appreciate it. And in the end, let let our listeners know where they can find you where they can get your book. Thank you Georgian. So one brief comment here, Georgia Georgia, and I both sit here, and we can feel what's right? We we feel. I'm hoping the listeners can sense feel and acknowledged that these are important ideas. They're not mine. I just saved them the way I. The way I'm given to say them. I see these things and I describe them, but we must act on the knowledge not enough to acknowledge the truth not enough to acknowledge gratitude and love we must act on that knowledge. Then if we want to do that, we need new self understanding because in the end all gratitude comes out of self understanding, self knowledge, I'm grateful for a beautiful tree because the beautiful tree shows me, it's corresponding character in me that self knowledge that self realization, if we want that we have to do our part if you want to learn more about what we talked about. There are several ways to do it. I if you're interested in the book, go to relationship magic book dotcom relationship magic, book dot. Dot com and on that page, you'll see a way to order the book at a price. Basically that beats any online retailer, and you get three free gifts with it. Including the audio version of the book that I read go to relationship magic, book dot com. You can order the book anywhere you want and use that same link to get the gifts you just have to provide the receipt next. If you don't want the book, but just wanna learn a little bit about this work that I'm doing go to my website, which is guy. Finley dot org. G U Y F, I N L E Y guy. Finley dot org, and you can browse my website for years just taking the information there as you will. Lastly, I'm on all the social networks I post on Instagram at least every other day a short video. So I invite you to visit and partake. Of this knowledge. So that we can all each and every one of us begin to become a new human being born out of the revelation of the real reason for our relationships. Amazing. Thank you so much guy. You're a pleasure Georgian. You want to support my work the gratitude podcast. I would really appreciate it as counterintuitive as it may sound one of the best ways in which you can receive more is by giving some away when you give away even a small amount. This tells your brain that you have plenty enough even to give to others. I found the knees e way for you to become a sponsor a supporter of the podcast. Just click on the link in the description, and you can choose one of the three options, you can donate ten five or one dollar per month that would be one dollar per month for you. But for me that would mean the world, so please take your time. Now, visit the Dink in the description or go to Georgia Banta dot com slash support and become a supporter of the gratitude podcast. Hey, gratitude seeker, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it. And if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it share it with them, it might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life, much better. Thank you so much once again, this has been Georgia Banta, though, forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

partner Georgian Bente Georgia Huffington Post Guy Brazil writer Oregon Wuhu international bestseller Vigo Uman Shen United States Georgia Georgia Christ Georgia Banta Hewitt CNN ABC
Creating Fun Experiences To Include In Our Gratitude Journal - Mike Rucker PhD

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

41:40 min | 2 years ago

Creating Fun Experiences To Include In Our Gratitude Journal - Mike Rucker PhD

"My wife and I now look for ways that we can bring a fun in with our children. So we're indexing more fun on the weekends too. You know by being critical of how we're spending Our weekends together And so just you know even simple mindset shift and there's this great study out of Ucla here in the states that I often reference cassie homes where she simply has folks look at their weekend as a vacation or oftentimes a lot of us. Don't right we look at our weekends. Ends as a way to catch up from our workweek and so just having that mindset like wow this weekend is really meant for renewal and use it as such oftentimes uh-huh you still get the same amount don but you look back at your weekend with a lot more gratitude and a lot more joy because you had that mindset of if I'm going to look for fun moments in any given context welcome to the gratitude podcast on. WWW Dot George Bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people. Discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast Jordan Bente. I read the secret. Welcome come to a new episode of the gratitude podcast today with us we have Mike Rock her PhD. He's the author and he's he's also a PhD. Working on a book about the Science of Fun and I think that's a very very very interesting topic and something very important to focus on especially since we have this tendency to just focus the things that we need to do. Isn't it. Welcome Mike at Thanks for how my pleasure my pleasure. So there's there's no little bit more about you about the work that you're doing. I think it's very interesting. I'm really happy to have you on again. Thanks for having me I I think So the back story of why have been focusing on fund. Is We talk a lot about happiness. Right as this construct As a guidepost where we WANNA go and in two thousand sixteen I had a bunch of stuff happened in my life where I had you know had all the a tools of positive psychology at my disposal and ultimately will still found myself in despair. My little brother unexpectedly passed away I had been an Ironman athlete and during that period It was they're not connected but it was just bad timing found out that I had advanced osteoarthritis that just sort of surprised me And at wasn't going and be able to ever run again in any sort of significant endurance race and then my wife's got an opportunity on that moved as outside of California California so I had my network of friends and family Within our neighborhood and ultimately although still You know it was a great decision for us that Trifecta of losing my brother losing my ability to run and losing intimate access to Family Ryan friends SORTA led to this inability to really you know have happiness in my life and so I found interesting that the same time I just completed a dissertation in that an completed my PhD work looking at burn out Within and physician groups but as part of that really having a rich under academic understanding of burn out And I realized you know there's gotta be something that I can do. And the reason I brought up the doctoral work is during the process of doing a dissertation you have to let review where basically you look at all the exist assist in research and facts around given area And so I went back and it was like okay. I'm unhappy I WANNA be happy. what can I do. And and you know the wisdom that I had garnered just wasn't working and But what I did know is that I had the ability to at at least go and have fun and so I started searching that in in the literature and realize that not a lot of people have looked at approach. Although it's extremely effective the reason that fund is a little bit you know a different tool than seeking out happiness is that it's in the moment right where happiness a lot of Times as we talk about it as an academic construct Is something that we sat with intention so therefore by the very definition of attention intention rather it's in the future Novenas something that we can decide to do in the moment so it's a very present and it's also something that you know even even if you have for whatever reason the inability to be happy and most folks can at least have fun and you see a whole will host of ways that can occur especially when we start investigating like I have and it has huge benefit because one you know the sort of index our time right and so. I know that e- focused a lot on gratitude and certainly that's one of the powers of gratitude is that we can index what we're grateful four in our life through things gratitude journaling. When you take a proactive approach to fun you can start to increase that index of joyful moments in your life and so that's something that's often not talked about actually in the context of gratitude and happiness win we focus on something Mike Happiness There is a gap right that our mindset is like. Wow locate so happiness outon. I'm in the distance perhaps And there's a huge gap between me and happiness and oftentimes. If you don't have the right tools in your toolbox that gap can be a self fulfilling prophecy will. I'm not happy now and identify then someone who's I'm happy therefore I'm living an happy life right. And so this is all subjective. Eh but happiness is subjective by nature and so what fun allows us to do when we're mindful of it and have a bias towards it is really taken can accident oriented approach to our own you know joyful living and so that's why I founded fairly interesting as construct to study and then also WanNa get the message out. What about it because it is such a useful tool especially for people that episodically find ourselves in despair like I did a few years back? I have the same belief and I it relates for me with Experiences versus things and like having new experiences and fun experiences and meaningful experiences actually and a lot to our life many times more than all kinds of expensive things and I think it's it's a great reminder to think about fun because when when we get to be adults we tend to focus on our responsibilities abilities on doing certain chores that we need to do every day and we forget about that part of ourselves that actually used to have fun and that actually needs this part as well isn't it. Yeah absolutely I I In doing research for the book One of the things that I found astounding was I was going to different installations you know places that are set up for people to have fun and so In the south here in the United States There are a lot of in a children's museums and science centers and things of that nature that have these areas or experiential learning And one of the things sort of blew me away as I was observing both children and adults playing these areas is that children role. Run in. especially if there's a bunch of sensory toys and and things of that nature and just sort immediately having fun because they don't need instruction or the context of the installation to be able to start immersing themselves in a joyful experience where adults are Hamstrung. They go in there and less someone gives them you know. Discreet instruction instruction on how to use this space. They don't know what to do anymore. I mean so we'll lose that ability unless remindful You to enjoy enjoy ourselves. which is a shame because we know that that you know having fun and had engrossed in experience that we find meaningful meaningful has hall a whole host of health benefits Yet we've forgotten how to do it. Because the burdens of responsibility and all of the things you know trying to find meaning in our day to day it's a shame and the thing is it's not like at all these types of conversations and there are things you need to be mindful upright like certainly escapism and things of that nature especially there. There are a you know like anything. Even fitness right people can go overboard and start harming themselves funds. The saint sort of tool right like you can use fitness increase your wellbeing or you can use it as a form of escapism and all of a sudden you know you've worn out. Your Body Fund is the same way. You don't WanNa go out and gamble or you know and do things that could be potentially exciting but not a leading to increases in lobbying but you can have a busy life and still instill funding on an so. It's a false narrative suggests that like well. I have two kids so fun is a loose abou it absolutely isn't if you prioritize it an and how can we integrate fun in our life. I've worn one way in which I am doing that is by travelling and it is very interesting that you mentioned Having having to experience So I I've been to Vienna and in Australia and there was Technology Museum and you were there. Were so many fun things things to do there. Even for us I was there with my girlfriend and When when you were talking about About this bar I was stinking. How much joy in how much laughter? There was in that museum compared to other museums. That were were very interesting but they weren't really that fun and That that's so true like you when I think about the thing. Grateful grateful for for that trade by really do remember that part in which we were engaged we had fun in different ways. And I think that's that's so important. So how do we integrate. This free are busy and we don't have much time. Yeah so one of the the things that I suggest is doing an audit log of your week right especially for folks that have more traditional work. Our lives tend tend to be fairly habitual and so. That's a blessing. Curse right says curse. Obviously because you know routine things tend to have more drudgery ace associated with them but the upside is often Unforeseen pockets of opportunity to have fun and so there are a whole host of heuristic especially or adults with children that make us believe that. We can't prioritize funding our lives on but oftentimes it's just simple switches right like so you've you've once you do this exercise sort of your mindful of you know these hundred and sixty eight hours in your week. You'll see wait on Saturday. I'm actually just. I mean Leslie Watching Television. Show that I don't really care about psychic use that opportunity to do something fun And so you look for these pockets of opportunity virginity another thing. That's common with parents and Something that you know is is personal to myself. Is that weekdays. Aren't something that you were. You can prioritize at least one of them For yourself and so my wife and I realized why we're just letting Monday through Friday go and with a couple of small tweaks leaks You know one finding someone that we trust to watch our kids. We can actually create a date night. you know. We're we're doing something fun mm-hmm and You know prioritizing little time for ourselves to get give it back and in the context of that anecdote right. It's only two hours out of one hundred sixty eight but you find you know especially as I'm working with people that years have gone by were they haven't done something just because again as adults Because is coming out of stasis. It's sort of human condition will get any substantial routines and unless we're looking at it critically. We don't look for these opportunities but the good news is once you get a taste of it. Right for instance using my own example where my wife and I were like. Wow these two hours is awesome you can then build upon that because then you can make fun habitual and had this what I tend to call a bias towards fun where you know it starts to build on yourself. Wow Okay Fund makes me feel better while fund makes you a nicer person to be around. Therefore I'm it's not just an NFL blonde. You know where I'm creating fun for myself but everyone around means having more fun while looks look for more opportunities right. So like for instance in my own life you know my wife and I now look for ways that we can bring a fun in with our children children. So we're indexing more fun on the weekends too. You know by being critical of how spending Our weekends together And so just even simple mindset line set shifts There's this great study out of UCLA. Here in the states that I often reference By cassie homes where she simply has folks look at their weekend as a vacation or oftentimes a lot of us. Don't right we look at our weekends as a way to catch up from our workweek and so just having that mindset like out the weekend is really meant for renewal and use it as such. oftentimes you still get the same amount done but you look back at your weekend end with a lot more gratitude and a lot more joy because you had that mindset of I'm GonNa look for fun moments you know in any given context so up. Those were a lot of suggestions tools and tactics. I hope I didn't overwhelm you. But you know there's a whole host of things you can do to look for these opportunities communities to have more fun on your week. Yeah there are some great ideas and I'm sure that our listeners were very interested been them and were very attentive to what they could apply in their life. And I'm just curious question for you. Don't in this context. I think it's kind of a great add on to What you just asked me? I'm one of the things that I do that I think especially especially folks that Really do a fine gratitude useful tool is in my own gratitude journaling. I also use it as an index. figure out what I find really fun so you your example is great right you are savoring that moment of the NFL and you understand that that that was an opportunity that brought you a lot more joy than maybe some other ones. So do you ever look back at your gratitude journal as useful. It's all to understand what is fun and joyful for you since it's such a subjective state And then use that as an opportunity to create more joyful moments in your lights definitely. I am doing something. That's very similar especially when it comes to traveling. I like to ride down things that were great. What about the trips that I've taken and they're always optimizing? Come looking for things that I well. It's not only only about Gratitude and what was great but also the things that didn't weren't as great as we as we expected them and Basically I'm I'm getting getting better all the time at focusing more on on the positives and And on those experiences that we really enjoy rather than maybe expenses that other people might might like that just just for us you know. Yeah and the thing I like about the practice is that it makes you grateful for the things that aren't As Fun as you had hoped because then you can use them as lessons right. Where if you have the wrong mindset than they become They make you smaller right there. Detracting activities but if you use them as learning experiences you know you don't have to look at him with rose colored glasses or like everything in my life is great. Meant you now. Obviously that's not the case but you can look at Bam With some gratitude. Because you either avoid them or they've taught what you something about yourself. So that's awesome. Yeah exactly it's really helpful and we got to be much happier and have much more. Beautiful experiences is When we started doing this because it's actually building on itself and where we're getting better and better at at different things different tales that have to do with traveling and having great experiences But I'm really curious if you want to share with us some some ideas. CBS maybe your experiences or Things that are generally fun. Like what can we do to you too. Have Fun experiences than to have those kinds of memorable memorable experiences that we feel grateful for for. I think what I found is looking for the ability to have a wonder right so as I continue to study this contract I think what defines fund is the ability to allow us to not have to sign meeting to that heavy writes. The Fun is very much a relative of flow but we're flow requires some sense of mastery. you no. I think the difference is that fun allows us to be free so what are environments. Where there isn't that burden of having to assign meaning or you think about You know basically the burdens of Anything that might get in the way so we're people people seem to have the most fun are either you know where they're just simply surprised in immersed in this idea of wonder or they're able to sue had this timeless sense of joyfulness with whatever activity during Gaijin whether that'd be music and whether that be a long walk whether that be in the company of crowds so the challenge here is that we all sort of look at Unin different ways right and so this. We're going to dwell into to the academic year but our emotions are really defined by two things right valence and arousal and so It depends on your preference of those two and so if you're not familiar with those two academic contracts dalliance is more cut and dry. You're either in a negative valence. You're not feeling that great yet it. Can you know at at the bottom of the spectrum that can be deep. Depression or high valence is. You're feeling a lot of joy your energize almost to the point of pure elation right right I think at the highest state of Valence would be something like Nirvana. Then there's arousal which is a a a kind of deeper construct and can be really interesting rights it's a low arousal is You're just sitting on. The couch slumped over and watching a show. But you could still potentially be at the lower end a fun. You know if you're really you know your binge-watching you're fifth hour game of thrones if that's what you find fun right with a partner whatever to the at the opposite is like like you're an idiom concert and you're just out of your mind right you feel that a convergence of energy with the entire crowd And you're just bouncing up and down those two states right. There could be absolutely not fun for particular person right. I know people that hey. ADM and the idea of being wedged in elbow to elbow with a bunch of strangers. is absolutely horrifying. Not Fun bright where others the idea of lane on a couch You know on a lazy Sunday Binge Watching netflix would not be fun at all right so you really need to find what fun is for you. similar to happiness very subjective cents but once you find it then you identify what it is for me particularly because you asked me directly I am at the higher arousal state so you know I love music. I love things where there is a lot of energy. I love running around. I love playtime with my kids. Rough Housing You know and my wife's the opposite so actually we have a routine at night where I chase the kids around the house and she goes up and kind of leaves us alone because that's not fun for her. So you know I kind of answered your question around about way but I hope you found that helpful. Yeah it makes perfect sense for me. And I. I can totally relate I tend to need to move as well and for me. Having Fun has a lot to do with physical second movement like Some sports like basketball or soccer. Or something like this is fun for me me also than saying And just moving the body and also laughing laughing like for me. That's that's not a part of fun like Meeting with friends and just talking about different things. That are are not practical in any way I tend to be very practical and To the point and just laughing about different things is is is also something that for me is fun but I also I also like doc I for me. It's fun also to to just a so. It really depends on on my mood is relatives to and watch some movies. Some comedies or something like that and Enjoyed and the end of the day. I think I think it's it's very it's very different from Even from day to day but for me usually it means moving the body one way or another and it's it's really interesting that we are talking about funds day because we are actually going to Andy Caitlyn says concert concert and it's going to be fun. I hope I'm sure it will be. That's exciting I love music. I'm actually going to go see the black keys. He's next week. Talk the talk and walk the block so I had. I think that's important to you talked about your. You know your part and I think you know another aspect the funds for the continuation of your life question. Is You know making sure that there's a good good balance right to your point. We do need to spend down sometimes so I talked about this with Chip Conway. Who's on the board burning man? And there are a lot of folks that use music festivals in go to too many right use it as a form of escapism And I think it's important into to have time where if you're with a partner I'm kinda getting off the rails but I think it's important in you know that there's GonNa be On appetites that are where you WanNa go and do something by yourself You know your partner might be introverted again. You know owed to my wife who out. We have a lot of things where we share in funding. Certainly WanNa do it together but rock concerts are her saying so. She's giving me the Liberty Liberty to do that myself and I make sure I give her the space tab the fun that she needs. Just because it's so restorative So apologized the tangent there. But I just I love music and And and I thought it was a good opportunity to share that Kinda continuation Out of your your last question is that they're too much fun of one specific mode ultimately might make it not fun on anymore so very very ability is very important to when it comes to fun. Yeah I've seen that too like In the in the beginning for for instance when we found a good cereal We left a lot but afterwards ten had the tendency institute to not be as funny or for us to laugh as much But I think it's it's always great to to balance things out attend To to be very aware of what's what's actually still fun and if if it still makes sense do continue doing doing something that might have been fun at one point but it might not be yet and I think that's that's a very important in part of As finding different things to to be grateful for but they also want to ask you something about fun and and sometimes Free are very responsible if we have families or work responsibilities we might feel Bad about wanting to to choose fun like it's usually usually not too priority. No Yeah No. I think that's important especially some the work that I do is with physicians. Or you know folks in the Sand Amer What we call here in the state says Sandwich Generation where Komo folks parents living longer rights? You have the duties of a child taking care of your elders and then also the duties apparent having to take care of your children so ultimately my suggestion there is an to at least take some time off the table for yourself and not feel guilty about it. I think you know it's common wisdom but wisdom that we awesome. Forget that if we're looking at ourselves as the person that needs to provide this type of care if were in some way damaged than our ability to deliver that care is compromised so alternately you can look at these restaurants rate of activities which is certainly a part of that as something that you have as guest guest because it will allow you to better serve your children and and the folks that you're carrying for so I don't you know again again. It's easier said than done because oftentimes people hold that guilt. And it's really hard for people to decouple but I think once you get in that habitual ritual habit and understand that it's got this multiplier effect that you know if you give yourself a little bit of time for renewal you can go back into those situations nations in the give a lot more of yourself you'll understand that it's sort of one. Plus one equals three. And once you do that than everyone wins right because because what you especially with physician so I know you know with the Sandwich folks that I work with I don't have any empirical evidence but with physicians -sition we absolutely know that if they don't take time off for themselves. They lose empathy and a lack of empathy with physicians correlates to a a I don't want to embellish. It has a significant decrease in patient outcomes so you it's not just you you know a nice to have. It's a necessity to make sure that you implement these times for renewal. I love the perspective the perspective event. I think it's something to think about for For myself and for our listeners. Through like we are actually going to be better professionals but they're barons or family members if we give ourselves time to to have some fun and I don't think it has to be like A lot of time but it can be something really simple and my belief at least may game just generalizing is that it's important to do something with your uh-huh like if you're just I don't know playing some something on your phone or on your computer and I don't think it can get you to experience too much fun. Maybe you have some research on this. Yeah I think we do in a Oh It depends right and so I want to be careful here because I often get attacked because initially I came hot right. There's certainly a hosted research to suggest that mindlessly consuming content has a negative effect so they look at brain scans that type of activity. Vidi tends to mirror depression. You need to be careful there right because also you know in my day job. I'm in health and wellness. It's a little bit misleading. When they show brain scans of kids eating candy and adults doing cocaine? Saying it's the same thing right just because dopamine lights up doesn't necessarily mean that eating chocolate should the quake to doing cocaine and so these similar studies are trying to be fanciful and show that sort of the low Brain activity as Depression looks the same as television watching. So would that disclaimer. It still does. That's right. We're not really engaging ourself. We do know that a certain healthy level of stress meaning stress in the very academic context right Mrs distress right at reading and learning. All those are minor stressors and stressors Lead to growth right when we overdo stress that we lose their minds and you know which leads back to the last question right but if you're completely idle you know we're either growing our were Undying right not to use fanciful language. But that's just the truth that's part of any system And so I agree with you wholeheartedly. There's a whole host research to suggest that the more actively are as long as we're not overdoing it as long as we're not red lining our system Leads leads to better outcomes so I believe that wholeheartedly and I think there's a rich Body of evidence to support that assertion awesome Awesome from from my experience. It's really lease to all kinds of Beautiful experiences and the first one is actually getting out of your own head because when we are not doing physical things we tend to be just in our it all the time and that doesn't it much fun and that circles back to what I was saying right. It's sort of the hetty concept for people to understand but you're exactly right when we're in our head. It's very hard to have fun. And so the things that bring us the most fun on our the ability for us to You know it's some of the benefits of mindfulness but in my experience something that elicits more more enjoyment right because a lot of people. I love a ten percent happier approach to this. Because it's okay to be a cynic about meditation. You know folks for me unlike myself that enjoy high arousal states Even though I like my mindfulness practice I do find it. A bit boring right at use. Is it for different purposes than some. That might like you know low arousal states really do find it. Enjoyable were fun. Sort of has the same benefits you know were. We're allowed to use your words sort of get out of our own head But then just enjoy the moment because we're really enjoying it and I think that's where fun is so powerful powerful and part of the reason that I think fun is a more interesting construct than happiness because happiness really makes us have to sit there and wonder why we're happy the fun you know because it isn't this intention We're fine allows us to not have to assign meaning to it. was like you know what this is. Just fine young. Yeah Yeah Yeah I love. I love the concept and I think it's it's very powerful and it's very natural to us as human and being like when we were children. We know how to have fun naturally. No no one has to show us how to have fun how to do things things that make us laugh regis them. It's it's natural normal for us and in time we tend to forget about this part but that it doesn't mean that it's important and it doesn't happen the fact on us if we continue to ignore it that's right. I know it's a shame when you look at the amount of times you know. Speaking of sort of indexing behave the amount of times at child lasts given even Dave versus the amount of time. An adult does You know I know a child lasts about one hundred fifty times a day and by by the time are adults. It's a lot less than half of that. And ultimately we understand there's a whole host of health benefits laughter And it's a shame that we lose that part of ourselves as we grow older and less for intentional about it. Yeah definitely correctly. So since we're nearing the end of our time together Let us know what are your are fun activities like your top. Things are grateful for that. Made you really feel exhilarating rated than Relieve feel alive and Actually I don't know made the concept of fun re are- reality and something really close to you. Yeah I think for me it's Getting into a challenge and really immersing myself delve into the journey rather than the outcome That's been one of the most eye-opening strategies I learned that along the way. I've been blogging at. Ah Michael Record Dot com eleven years now and so every quarter. I entered the thought leader and a quarter being every three months. So I'm almost Up to one hundred folks. Now and one of the commonalities of those interviews Is The folks that seemed to have the most fun are the people. Oh that re-lane joy the process are not So focused on the outcome. Even though the outcomes important obviously it can often act act as the carrot and we all need to know or going or or our lives become mindless right but if you can use is that simply as a tool and really gross yourself in the journey. That's where I find that I am able to manifest the most joy in my life and when I lose track of enjoying the journey and I'm more focused on the outcome. Is I have the least amount of fun miss. Oh interesting there are so many anything that are intertwined with gratitude. Like the feeling of all enjoying the journey and feeling grateful for the journey not waiting for the destination to feel grateful. I think it's it's very interesting. How these two concepts? Let's have a lot to do with each other and I think it's something that we can all think about and integrate more more in our live. So that's why that's why I think gratitude is such a great pairing to find there's Alexander Pope Said for he lives twice who can at once employed the president will and even the passenger right and so as we have more fun and we pair that with gratitude practice And especially as we learned to savor favor could savers kind of a form of gratitude right that allows us to have this multiplying the facts and I think it really becomes sort of upwards. Spiro Arrow. Were a lot of the spirit comes from what we call a downward spiral. If you couple gratitude with fun you know you create this upward spiral or life. Just it gets better and better meant you shared. You're doing exactly that you know with your anecdote about Fiona so it's it's really really powerful stuff beautiful I love. I love this this closing thought and I think it's so powerful like it's a really great bear to go on an upward spiral and and just enjoy life more to the fullest and Like like a brother David Sad that gratitude is the great fullness of life so enjoy my thank you so much for for being here with us and let our audience know where they can find you. Can they get in touch. Thank you I appreciate that opportunity. Yeah so my websites. Michael Record Dot Com I'm also on Instagram instagram. Under the wonder of fun and men on twitter at perform better. But I like to point people towards my website like because I have that quarterly quarterly newsletter. That I discussed And then also if you Are Interested in this book. I have coming out next year. That's a great place to sign up for the newsletter letter Where I you know ultimately Give more details about about the the books publishing This opportunities ladies thank you so much my pleasure my pleasure. Hey gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even in their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been Georgia Banta. Don't forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude. How do you keep your family healthy this season when it feels like everyone around you is getting sank? I use them. Because it's drug free and scientifically tested to help support your community. SAMBA call has the power of black elderberry in every purple bottle. It comes in tablets Syrup chewables or my kids favorite the great tasting Gumy's south. It's cold and flu season. Support Your family's immunity with SAMBA. Call Black elderberry. It's the only one I trust for my family and best of all my kids love it too.

partner Ucla Mike Rock California NFL Jordan Bente United States cocaine Depression cassie Michael Record Depression twitter netflix ADM flu Body Fund Sandwich Sand Amer David Sad
Making Sure People Know They're Appreciated - Martin Galpin

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

51:57 min | 4 months ago

Making Sure People Know They're Appreciated - Martin Galpin

"Theyn thing hugh my heart wrong of my heart in q. No my When's the right time to just suck sites somebody now. I think you're right. This is why the right. I think inside any of the uk. I think people will look at you a bit strange if you just have that conversation kind of randomly in the middle of the day but when there's a special occasion somebody's birthday major birthday or a leaving then moving to job retiring or something like that then we can knock those moments in time with an opportunities less. Take salkin chad the things that make you so special because the reality of goals so often these are the things aside at someone's funeral and that just seems like such a waste doesn't it that is only those moments when these things it's adding and you just know that so often. The person who's died never had those things over signing on in the way that it will be so i love the fact that we recruiting ways for people to hear this stuff and realize how much they of a while they're still here to appreciate. It will benefit from that appreciation. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable. Tips had now the host of our podcast. George bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to a new episode of gratitude. Podcast today with us. We have a business psychologist at director of the work. Positive and co create their of at my best tools. A person who's been doing some great work in helping people be at their best at work but not just at work and We will be talking about his experience as a psychologist gratitude and also One of the amazing tools that he has created that. I'm really excited about. And i'm sure that you'll be as well. Welcome martin to gratitude. Podcast like used good to be here so let us know little bit about. Were positive or a little. Bit more You from my knowledge. You're using positive psychology to help organizations. But i think it's It's something really interesting that In the way that you're implementing this and i would love for our audience to find out more about this issue. Well then has is good to be so as a psychologist and for a number of years now wifi because he's working in organizations so We sometimes work with individuals but often with manages and helping them to bring the best of the people that they lead. Sometimes we organize actions at the systemic level around town today create structures and processes enable people to be the best. So it's kind of a cool job to have isn't going to help you. Put and to make the most of their strengths and to to be the best thing they do because we all have times when we feel like we really performing it up acidy flying and doing things that we love times. We don't feel like that so we can help people to just move a little bit in the right direction. Then it can make a big difference to how we feel and productivity in those kind of things Yes that's what we we reality often. That's around delivering at workshops and coaching and things like that but increasingly we're working supporting other coaches facilitate style blaming in the way they do through the tools we've been creating that's wonderful and i'm very curious The perspective that you have on gratitude like how does gratitude featuring your work is really important that she is one of the things that i think from a positive psychology point of view. It's one of the kind of tools that we have a beta boots to us to help people to about practices which actually they can relatively easily implement into that day to day practices either individually or in terms of that that role with others in terms of for example. The questions that they're asking other people could be hugely powerful. We move in the direction of the questions we ask. We're asking questions of war. Preached fifty focused and helping people to notice was working on and while they go to be grateful than those things can have a big impact because so many organizations and manages focused on what's not working. And how do they fix things. In a way where. We're the problems and that can lead to a mindset which is actually very focused on the the detriments of situation unit gets harder to focus on. What's working well. And so just by asking those questions helping people to recognize the importance of as questions and taking time to experience being on the receiving end of some of those more gratitude. Crist questions is ready. Impactful often very simple doesn't have stick it out of time but it's a very young very worthwhile doing and i'm one of the things i love about working with gratitude sedates. It's something that has a wide impact and in a number of ways. I think if we can get better for ourselves and then becomes evidence that people around us than they more likely again through that ripple effects not stupid things around them but also and the communication between people say in the exercises we do we ask people to give feedback to somebody else to a colleague for example around the things that they are grateful for in person things they appreciate about then then as a double benefit that goes on the head. Because it's not only a lovely thing invaluable thing that presents receive in terms of all messages of appreciation support which is opposing bulletin. Because many people don't feel appreciated even might actually be appreciated. They often they realized because they didn't get told. So that's pretty important. The person receives them at the messages of gratitude and appreciation but by asking the question in the first place. Also helping the person who is giving feedback. Because we're helping them to refrain that relationship with that person to think about the positives that they they recognize them and appreciate them. And i can be really powerful in terms of the impact on the relationship between the two collective in a team for example when we have conversations going on different directions. I can really take them to a much more positive place. More supportive place where they can perform at a high level because of dead at mutual respect. They've they've shot if that makes sense. Yup that makes perfect sense and I i wanted to ask you something from a from psychologists standpoint One of the things that i've seen that works great And it's related. What you just said For instance we when When we have holidays and we're Meeting with friends or family Sometimes we we're meeting with people that we like. Sometimes we are meeting with people that we don't like as much or At aren't as pleasant all the time and one of the things that i've seen work really really well for me and for the people that i've shared this with is before actually Going to a place or receiving guests to think about three things that we appreciate about the person they about each person that is either coming or we are Going to interact with And it's very interesting. How the relationship shifts when when you do that and i was curious if if there is a three something From the things that you know Some scientific Finding or something like this that relates to this. Why is it working. i'm. I'm curious if you have some kind of an answer for this but i usually put an. I'm glad you mentioned that because it son it's easy to maybe sometimes think about what you appreciate about people. You'd like of kaz. Maybe a bit more like you and very often the things that we notice about other people were relationships dunkers. There well is around news differencies because things don't don't connect so well you know. We don't relate to their way of thinking when they see the world and the way they behave sometimes jaws with us because we will draw late today a bit differently and it makes us uncomfortable and so very often those interpersonal challenges that we face because of differences between our references in styles and those of the other people that we dating with not trinity as as human beings we have a negativity bias unfortunately but it's there for good reason. We need to be alert to problems in dangerous. We can act fast if we need to make a decision about running away will fighting the beast. Whatever that threat. It's coming our way but we can learn how to fight. More things are working well. And then the question confession to suck my body but Valuable because it's simple to do if you know to do it. Most of us one we we were just in a situation recording this now. Where asset ne-new k. We are starting to open up again after grown virus. And we're starting to see people again that we haven't seen some time in many many of those relationships will be positive as you say you'll be meeting friends and family and colleagues here. You haven't seen a time. Encounters might be slightly challenging or what you might be a bit about that because whenever because maybe this relationships on site at supposedly all the time. But i think the real power of it is the questions you bearing. That's the key thing out in any situation as human beings. we can only process. A small amount of information is around us because they're stimulation in every direction isn't that as being bombarded by messages on social media on email and on the news and then even just physical environment as always more things that we can pay attention to than we actually can't and so we have to choose an questions we ask. Help us to decide what to notice. And what you just described as a way of helping us to notice the good things in those people because they will be there. In in mid fosse majority of cases there will be some good things. We can appreciate the listen. It's just most of the time. That's not what we noticed because we noticed things aja make a bit uncomfortable which is usually the differences But i think when we saw asking those questions then actually doesn't take long before we realize actually there are benefits. He those differences A boring if we will assign so then if we can stop thinking about the value of difference between us and that ready. I stopped thinking. Well maybe it's difficult sometimes but that comes with benefits to because they're so different and and like is you know that might mean that there are things about they would appreciate because we different than and so yes. It's not focus on the science of it so much. But i think the principle of keep it simple in is opportunities to just to resettle set a different focus of attention when you come into a situation like that that might otherwise be challenging so yeah love the way you position. I think that's really and simple to any of us can apply if we get into. The habit of course is the challenges. The doing it repeatedly so that it becomes ob it exactly. It's actually one of the the purposes of the gravity of podcasts to help people Get new ideas of from and actually helping women some some habits positive habits his of course it has to do with gratitude into their life and i believe they They make a big difference when we're able to actually reach that level of habit because we have all kinds of habits whether we are conscious of them were not and cultivating a positive habit can can have many benefits for For a longer period. In time but i also wanted to get to something else that that i'm really curious about what have have been some of the most surprising Experiences that you had when you do when you did the The gratitude exercises In the companies of course if you can share them with activities that we use i am very often is using strengths cuts so we reproduced of strengths. Qods f years ago. Now a brand of at my best and then drink simple graphs on one side. And we've got single words strengths on the other side so things like caring and decise savin flexible the really simple accessible And we design them because he wanted people to have a way of connecting with Their s the strengths. Our of the people around him but we knew that if we asked the open ended question about when you go best or when is this other person best that many of us would struggle to answer those questions because we just not used to being asked those things generally Know so we don't really have frame of reference structure to to make sense of that kind of question whereas if we provide a stimulus like that we can very quickly work through. Those words will drostan. Does this represented something. I i can see as a strength person. I worked really well helping people say. Maybe it's these things. Actually that i recognize as a strength and one of the ways that we use That is every time is a really special thing to do. Actually with a group of people who know each other is to get them to shan. I need would do activity themselves but for each of the people that they work with so we will sit around a table and we will have the spotlight as it were falling on each person. Say now thinking of usual jin we'd be around the table. We'd each of us be choosing a card that we thought reflected quality that we recognize in you in your work and then each of us in turn would just take a moment to say his conduct. Johnson and mrs. four-day means this is why i've chosen and what we hear on the back of that is usually very very quick. Examples of how people who've recognized strengthen action and so it doesn't take long to it's really impactful in is typically things like remember last tuesday when this is all step project hapu and we were already stressed in a new of the one who who said to us through the. We've done this before reminded us that. Actually we have got the ability not team to get a pull through this and you really calm inside. I might share with you. The comments the cod. I picked view and this is why so often his his doesn't everybody. Stop being a surprise in some ways even ever seen it many times before i'm reaction from the person receiving his feedback is one of defensiveness and Kind of is belief in a way so very often people will say well. That's not a strength in. That's not special. That's just me. And i'm what you always see an example as everybody else getting very animated saying yes exactly. Yeah that's hugh and and you special because you're the one in his team that does that and and we all really appreciate the value that and so you have this kind of moment. Why people you can see them thinking. Oh okay. I didn't think that was special. I just allows ordinary but because for them you know that's just the way they do things and and it feels ordinary. Because i may not that difficult. It's just something that they do but other people will look at we some degree of ambient. I wish i could be like george. Because he's so calm and so yeah. It's a shame in a way is lovely when they can have realized Receiving those messages. Did you have to be prepared to engage in those conversations. I think to the open receiving the prostitute. But it's still a little bit surprising. disappointing i think when people own already especially when you know getting into the later years and beating their careers for decades and they still maybe don't naturally recognize something that is a strength as in other people recognize and appreciate in them. That's so interesting. And i'm sure that many of our listeners are in the same position I know i am. And i'm surprised when when people sometimes tell me different things good things But yeah. I think it's it's something that's very necessary and very powerful net. We don't usually do because the way business works and even life in general is just focusing on solutions On the problems on the solutions on the things that need to be done and few of us actually take the time to celebrate to Appreciate the the people that made things happen or That helped us one way or another and they think it's Something really important because it's really important and so many people leave their jobs because they don't feel appreciated and so often you know people really find out how appreciated they all win that. Eating is the leaving party in a presentation from the boss in the bus. Says how wonderful as they said that thinking ready. I've never had this before a real shame isn't it and i noticed. I many times when people feel something to actually isn't true because if they all just appreciate it but for whatever. Reason is a bit uncomfortable. Sometimes i think to tell somebody this stuff unless you go to reason and so the result is that they don't realize how appreciated they are not such a waste. I think that's that's rocha. I move aid because Sometimes any by the time you tell them if you have the chance to tell them it's tonight if we could to guy bit more comfortable. Wish airing these things and creating opportunities to share these moments of gratitude and appreciation. Think back i can really help the lee and it'll like you mentioned. I think this is. This is sad but it's also very interesting just to see how we work as human sometimes probably many would have stayed at the at their job if they they knew if only someone said that they are appreciated. And i i was curious if you if you've seen Why for instance. Managers were in sharing their appreciation. Because i think that can be Something that may be our listeners. that Our employees in companies might be going through. They might be appreciated on but they might have a manager that is hesitant to show them. Their appreciation has been your experience. This is a mix of things but very often. It's just time unless the exclusive people have zero. Don't i don't have time to think about that. I'm trying to focus on doing the best i can. And as a manager there too many things to do so people think that they they prioritize prioritize problems because the things that shouting loudest Something that needs to be fixed but when they realize actually that these things don't take it out of time at all and you can actually build them into your regular management. Practice is then much more the prepared to give it a try. Because i mean most people do recognize that beating positive emotion. Nikki goes with these kind of questions in these compensations is worthwhile and so they they sort of often jump at the chance to look a bit at try and these practices into that one to one conversations or even the team meetings around sharing good news and focusing on. What's working well and but yes i think is being busy. But it's also gonna natural tendency that dimension data to focus on the negative that we will have you know so you have to fight against database radian and bill habits and historically. I guess it's never been that high on on management training programs to tell people back the importance of fen showing appreciation to people but increasing. The i think that's starting to in his recognition that the time if you can appreciate them than than the more likely to stay and to that best because they the fia in the same way that they might have feel being watched in the threat to maybe and i think it builds trust as well so even in situations where maybe you do have to have a difficult conversation and you do have to tell somebody that something they did wasn't good enough wasn't as good as you'd like it to be if you're doing that for place a confidence in that relationship nervous. Trust in relationship because they feel if i They all trusted in the Appreciated and i think very often. They're more open to receiving critical feedback. Because they know that you've got a backhander they do want you to be a therapist. Because at the compensation ready several times and so often it does make me off actually when we having conversations around back so many of us have this expectation when we receiving positive feedback without waiting for the negative because we will be brought up on this kind of some which technique that was big part of management training years ago where you put out news between two pieces of good news and so often you know. Even when you're receiving positive messages from your managerial side. I thinking okay. What's the real story here. What is it you really want to tell me. Whereas about news and so they need to engage with the positives much. Because you think it's just that to have a the season to help you said and so we owed about having some was actions which had just about the positive. Just focus on boston. Sweet not sport. We appreciate found them. How how they have been the best. How can we help them. Be at s even more and the movies in the bay is like owen. You could just change this. We don't like thanks very much It's actually just about the positives. And then you. That's when you start to get the benefits of the mr chips and the trust in the sense of being rejected with colorful high quality vibrant designs and unique laser cut shapes. The uni dragon puzzles keeping engaged and create beautiful moments with family or friends that you can cherish together. It's also an effective stress reliever for when you want a quick break from the hustle and bustle of bailey. Life go to georgia. Montana dot com slash. You need dragon or visit. The link in the description for ten percent discount directly on amazon with promo code gratitude. Twenty twenty one for all union. Dragon puzzles check out the reviews people are loving them. Yeah i think it's it's so interesting. How how be functioning humans. I like to give the example of Refrigerator and any appliance actually It works most of the time. Sometimes it doesn't but when it doesn't it so annoying that we forget that the rest of the three hundred and sixty four days it's working and I think it's it's somehow similar in our relationships as well and at work especially when there are all kinds of problems all kinds of things going on we focus so much on the problems and may be on the person that made the mistake or something that we forget that the rest of the three hundred sixty four days in which everything was great actually or most of the things were great absolutely. Yeah we need to remind us. We habituate very quickly as soon as we have very quickly get used to an unusual circumstances when things are working. Well is like if you if you gotta ferrari next week or something. You might love that for few weeks but before long used danzig alad which nicer and better than yours. A nicer color the news. And you forget that you know three years ago you driving ready rubbish Coveting roster so we re to easy can used to our current environment and take things for granted so we need to remind ourselves sometimes nazis questions just to just to appreciate what's already there exactly exactly and i think it's it's something that's very important to end the very So like There is the saying with a the change. Want to see in the world We can be the people that are doing that than the are bringing that to the world and are appreciating other people. And i and on that you have A tool for that to not just for business but also for Everyday people And i think we've talked a little bit about this Before about how it came to be and the think it's has a really interesting story few want to share it with us. Yes oh i just. The exercise with the strengths cons. A few minutes ago we consider transit table and get people share things. They appreciate bonnie in each other and he is a go we recognize. Just how much. Impact that hat and them. We thought they might be nice to decrease online version of exercise. So there's some of you will know as a management tool who three hundred sixty degree feedback and is used very often in large organizations. Especially to help you put together feedback from or those people around them. So they'll get feedback for net boston. Negative feedback from his and from the people who were reporting to them and sometimes when accustomed to and very often. These tools are numerically. Based and people providing feedback will write a number of questions. It might be sixty questions. One hundred questions after rates on a one to five scale for example. How good they think you are at that particular thing and then often add some comments in as well about things. I think you're doing well and the things that i think you could batra. We saw an opportunity to create something that was more positively fight because because we knew from experience of the work. We've done with winners actions in the past that sefton. Three hundred sixty degree feedback actually leave quite negative impact on people because they've had often anonymous feedback comments from people about something that they find frustrating about them more difficult bound. Emily wish they would do differently. And that can have a significant impact for years to come because they remember the comments and sometimes second guessing who was said these terrible things about sometimes capital letters It's not a great experience so we wanted to create a three sixty feedback tool the whiz based on just on strengths. So that there wasn't that kind and about 'em question in there was all about. What is it. You appreciate bunny. And that's been a lovely things. I mean that's cool at my best three sixty and you can see that too at my best dot com to mvs off but that that's designed as as a tool for people to to get feedback from the people around whether the at time or work in fact that doing both is really audio so you can see what kind of strengths. The people Appreciated new is different to the strengths. According to see you can ask to twelve people to give you feedback and choose the cod. Say they choose between four eight words from woodside strength An explain why they've chosen those convoy that was particularly relevant view into strengths. I see new. Choose between one and three toes are visual metaphor full strengths. They recognize any size. Been lovely to Appreciated doing an. That's good but actually one of the things we found. It is sometimes a bit difficult to ask for feedback about yourself own. Janowski about strengths is is more common place to say. Can you give me some feedback. I want some good stuff. And i want to know things i can do differently and that can be helpful ghostwe but is a bit more difficult to new ways to say. Hey guys can you tell me what's great about me in the nicest possible way. But what's more common in a more comfortable to you. Want to do that for somebody else. So that you can gather that feedback somebody else and then share it with them so they can learn what other people value in them and appreciate them. Sometimes when people most need to hear those things maybe the times when they pass these likely to ask for that feedback themselves because that they're struggling a little bit in some way or Finding something difficult on we had a few people who a breaking to go through august. Three sixty four somebody else Some system wasn't designed to do that. It was very much designed for the individual to own the process of collecting a few people who would have been the system and to gather feedback for the husband for example and And then share the feedback with him once it and then on the back of that experience we we kind of thought something really special in that idea of gathering together rule the messages of love appreciation gratitude for that person and kind of compiling them in some way so that they could look at that because then is sometimes just a valuable things go back and look at and to remind us of cheap. They're all things people like me and they consider me that. Maybe sometimes i don't know why seeing myself and so on the back of that we thought well it's create something this more suited to that kind of aim. The is intended to give to somebody else in so really that felt much more like a gift than a professional development to so so crazy. Something compete different. I was just who and it's a book. An the process is very similar to my best three sixty. So as a structured process we guide people through Enables you as a as an individual to create a book for somebody else that you want to feel appreciated and valued and invite up to forty people to go through a structured process where they can then share those messages of appreciation. I want you get out. The debate is a is a book with elise amazing messages phantom of love and appreciation actively as like having maybe twenty gratitude letters from different people in your life or glades it into one book that you can keep on your shelf His is quite quite special thing. We really pleased to have been able to bring it to life today. I think this is a wonderful idea. And it's It's very close to What time promoting year on on the podcast. The fact that It's important for us to lead the people in our lives know that they are appreciated and also Help them see how appreciated there as well and. And i'm talking a lot about this because it's really something that's that we're always were also all actually seeking to feel They have a sense of purpose and to know that the work that we're doing and the things that we doing for other people are actually appreciate. Our efforts are appreciated and assis you. Must being as human beings are appreciated and having such a tool and being able to give such a gift to think. It's it's worth lot more than many expensive gifts that aren't personalize the tall dr. Just great as objects as things. But from my point of view such a gift has an immense value and Can really be cherished for for many years and can be very helpful. Has gratitude in general whenever you. When whenever you feel down you can read some of the things that people have said about you that they appreciate about you and also when you feel great you can you can read of modem and Rejoice even more. And i think that's something really beautiful that i believe. Every person on the planet on the planet should have something like this will show. It would be amazing with it. There's a lot of personalized gifts available on these days. Amber most of than i think really quite superficial. Because it's just putting his name on something very generic and this really does feel like the ultimate confess implies gift dirty because it's not easy to actually it did we make it as easy as possible without system with platform to enable people to invite others to to contribute to a book but it does take time it takes effort and so It's not your you'll quick Gift that you buy them from the station on the way this season but he for the best i am. This is something that takes if usually if you weeks to do and together of time and thought goes into it but of course the impact is so much greater because of that and then people often i think really value the opportunity to say these things because we typically don't A kind of saying. I think about how people don't show these messages anything because it just feels before quit. When's the right time to just sites somebody. i think. Great this is why the oh great. I think you uk. I think people would look at you a bit stranger fee if you just have that conversation kind of randomly in the middle of the day when there's a special occasion like somebody's best day having major birthday or a leaving then moving to a new job over retiring or something like that. We can mock those moments in time with an opportunity to say. That's less takes all connects chad and the things that make you so special because the reality of goals as the so often these are the things aside that someone's funeral and that just seems like such a waste that is so near those moments when these things it's adding and and you just know this is often the person who's died never had those things citing in the way that they will be fu so. I love the fact that we recreating ways for people to hit his stuff. Realize how much that of a still here to appreciate. It will benefit from that appreciation. Exactly exactly end. I've done something similar. Because i really loved the idea. And it's the impact is is wonderful but it's not easy to do at all. It's it's if you don't have a structure or system. It's it's really hard to get Get the feedback from from everyone and Structure it yourself and you really need to get involved Quite a lot to do this. And the fact that Martin has created this The structured system. I think it's it's something amazing and Like i said i really believe that. It's in the way that people have a tv. Most of the people have a tv in their in their home. They should have Something like this as foulland or at least Have the opportunity to give it as a gift to the people in their life. It's it's something that I believe can can have really beautiful impact and i'm sure that You has credited seekers know this already. And i really hope that you would choose to to go for it and to To give this experience to to the loved ones in your life and I believe it's it's something that can have a huge impact and for for many years and like martin santa fact that sometimes people hear these beautiful things about themselves were actually. They don't get to hear them because we don't say them Before they go. I think it's i think it's something that should make us think For for many of us. We just don't have that structure. We don't have that opportunity and one of the other things that i love about woohoo. You is the fact that you have it in print and we have so many emails and messages and videos and pictures and all kinds of things that are abundant. Let's say in our life but having something that's that's physical that we can touch on that we can look through that we can smell that can experience with our hands. A thing that makes for for something really special and yeah. I am really glad that this kind of This kind of product exists and Yeah i am many of you will will take it Through to make it even easier for you I will be creating link george. Banta dot com slash. Woo hoo and you will be able to. Just click on that link or just type it and you'll be able to start your book. It's going to take awhile so like martin status might take a few weeks if you're thinking about giving it to someone let's say in At the end of june or in july it's best that you act right now because it will take awhile but it's totally worth it. Yeah it takes a while people just kind of get their thoughts together about how they had. They want to respond and how they went to write that that message to go in the book we have date very quickly. But generally your that takes that takes a bit assistance. On the part of the organizers to be chasing people encouraging them to kind of do as houses against stay out too long because equally Experience if you leave a longtime people to respond something than they will take as long as you give them on Typically recited is two to three weeks for that price of people to fight those would receive contributions. Everybody's i've invited So it depends how many people you want to invite so we typically have ten twelve people contribute to a book with messages but it can be as high as forty to see the more people you have been very might take to get everything back from those people but Yeah i wanted to mention eat. The the value of having something like this in tactile tangible form like a broken. That's something that we really wanted to make sure we tapped into make equality boot. Whilst we found apprentice in the uk is actually one of the company that does the bookbinding the the queen of england. So william that are good quality company in to be pondering with mtv going to produce the books and so we have found a simple printed version that they produce for us but we also have a hand bound leaning covid persians while which is really special so it does make it. That feels like a like this. Say something you wanna keep on the shelf forever and get out and do can't regular basis and people tell us that they have the ones who produced books In the nas few months we had some amazing feedback about the impact. It has not just on the person who's received impetus. I won the person who's organized eight people who've contributed to and that's one of the things i love most about. This is a as a two or a gift. Radio gift gives too. Many people is not just for the peasant who receives it. Because we're giving everybody who's involved jones to stop and appreciate and be grateful person and that's yeah that s something about about some see what comes out the end of it. It's been a row privileged from my point of you'd be able to read through. Some bits of these books has been produced. And there i can tell you. They're wonderful people in the world when you read these kinds of comments about somebody even ever matt's never heard all and you can be Just why they appreciated by people and an amazing amazing sort of thanks and messages. They've written i any good morning sites to these things. Checking three for quality really bedtime. Yes it makes me often think. I wish i was this person's friend because they sound yeah. That's so nice. That's so nice. And by the way you mentioned some Some the feedback. That you that you had Can you share. Maybe a story or two from people that have Or their this man this book just on a cool to the other. I actually was a lady whose whose friend has done are introduced a friend to the idea she be to the book for relative has Read a text message to me and said something like i. I sorry. I can't speak to you at the moment. I'm probably not for you days but by the end of the week. I think i might have compose myself enough to be able to tokyo. But i'm just to overcome with emotion of reading through the book Yeah be often m us today. They've been in tears when they've read. The book with the pessimist. eating has been and i'm kgb. We received videos people based on social media videos of of them having just book in this as a. There's one we had maybe a year ago and with the lady who has a pretty large following on instagram. My thought to mad and one morning got out with john or an message often message education on instagram about people following our accounts liking our host. Who because this. This lady had just opened token who was in floods of tears in this video. Several videos actually. She did one off the other as she was completely overcome by the massachusetts colleagues and friends and family had the judge that because it was just at a time i think is going on in her life she was having a difficult time was under russia and then just to kind of receive something at the right time you know sometimes these things just workout you receive them the moment you most need them that yeah that was the case for Yeah this is quite special when he sees that. Because you can't fight thought you know people often talk about them things being special but when you see people of Tending into an emotional wreck. Then you've got to know there's something more to it than just a superficial the restituto exactly exactly and Like you mentioned. I think it can be a great gift for people. Nah just for their birthday or For special occasions but just to support them in when when there may be not having the these timing their life. I think that can be a a great way of showing support to someone to know that they they have people around around them that they that they can rely on that care about them. That appreciate them. I think that can be Either great moment to give the gift to the people because sometimes we on our birthdays. We receive all kinds of messages and Pretend betray shin. we just Doing don't enjoy them as much. Possibly but when when we receive such a gift raw without having Not being something special. I without being abruptly or something i think it can be Also got a really great idea just to to be there for people and to support them. Yeah so early while ha wonderful So thank you very much for for being kicked us and for creating such beautiful product and gratitude seekers go george banta dot com slash wu and There you'll be able to choose the kind of book you want to have several Choices to make several callers Several finishes and you can choose. How however many people you want to contribute To the book that you want to Give as a gift. So i definitely encourage you to to take this chance to take this opportunity to enrich your life and enrich the life of the people around you as martin. Thank you a upc. Welcome and it's been pleasure to be here. And i bet that those of you listening. He wants a great book. Hope you enjoyed the experience of of putting it together. And i should just mention m we do ship internationally and but do allow the extra time for that. I know at the moment especially with the problems. We have around the wealth. These things can take a while so if is for a special occasion make sure you now as much time as possible just to be safe but now thank you. Jordan has been a pleasure talking to you.

salkin george bente George bente hugh Crist savin martin uk Janowski rocha boston assis fia mrs george batra Nikki
Expressing Gratitude Through Art - Jenny Loughmiller

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

35:43 min | 6 months ago

Expressing Gratitude Through Art - Jenny Loughmiller

"I started to really feel the effects of gratitude really early on. I mean just just a couple of paintings in. And i realized that by spending time thinking about another person and the the things that she had brought into my life feelings of inspiration or Or kindness that she had offered. Or i mean there's there's such a number of things that it just. It helped me to start seeing the world with a fresh set of eyes. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guess. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast. George bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to this new episode of the gratitude. Podcast today with me. I have jenny love miller. She's the founder of the hundred hearts project at transport transformative gratitude project that inspires a habit of gratitude through one hundred. Thank yous almost two years ago. She started painting her gratitude in the form of hearts and i think this is such a great idea so i will Ask jenny she Started this project. What inspired her and We'll talk about many many really interesting things genuine. Welcome to the podcast. Inky somebody my pleasure. So liz know little bit about your project and How come you chose to do this. Well i began about two years ago and it came from a place of just personal desolation. I had been struggling with depression and it it. One day just everything snapped and The the lowest point for me was. When i felt that i could no longer sleep in my bed because i wasn't worthy enough to sleep in a comfortable place. I was just brought so low. And i was looking for something to help jami out and may i seen a counselor iras trying to various medications and i mean they. They were helping to a certain extent. But i knew that i needed to be something as well to actively help me pull out of this so i was inspired by a woman who painted her gratitude for one hundred people. I saw video on facebook of her presenting these paintings to people that she was grateful for and the light just went on for me and i. I knew that i wanted to do was start teen and i was. I consider myself a reluctant artists that dot a always loved art but felt extremely uncomfortable with anybody seeing that i had created myself so the idea of actually for somebody petrifying But for some reason that just felt like the right shame. And so i kind of started. But it wasn't quite the the right project that i was working on. It was a little bit too broad so one day. The idea came that. I would focus on hearts because i felt like that's what needed to heal in my life. I felt incapable of being loved. Felt incapable lobbying and so heart seen like the right thing for me. They also decided to narrow it down to just women. That i would paint for that. I could focus on on the women in my life that i was grateful for her and so once i narrowed it down that way it just took off. And i really suited beating and feeling the effects of gratitude in my life and that the effects are almost instantaneous. In how it changed the way. I looked at the world amazing and by the way what do you feel when you paint such a painting what what do you think about the esque yourself. Certain questions or what happens on the inside. I'm really curious. Yeah that's a great question. I it differs. But there's there's a couple of things it status same one is that i always spend time without person so it becomes like a meditation on that person as i spend time creating each painting each one takes between eighteen twenty hours. I would say sometimes a little bit more. I know they may take a while. They're about one foot by one foot square And i tend to get kind of detail. So i get to spend that time with that person and think about what it is that i'm grateful for and it's like i'm having a conversation with person that's pretty one sided but i i get all the benefit of it. It's absolutely delightful. And i also as i painting. I ending thinking about that woman. I'm also thinking. About how creatively. I could express my gratitude in that looks different of course for each heart that great because each person's different so sometimes i haven't actual idea that i developed for that percent but then other times i just start painting and then then i realized later who. It's for like when i'm about halfway through perhaps than i realize. Oh my goodness it's for this percent. of course. of course the man. I'm able to finish it up. Because i know exactly who it's for. That's so beautiful. That's so good. And they think it's it's a great idea for for our listeners for the gratitude seekers to to express themselves in in an artistic way and i think it's such a beautiful way to to express gratitude and also to do art because if for instance if i'm thinking of thing i don't know what i would i would paint to be honest like But having a feeling having someone in your mind in your heart that you think about can release buyer. You isn't it. Oh absolutely all of my paintings are displayed on the wall in my studio and whenever somebody new comes into the studio and sees the paintings on the wall they are just taken aback. At how different they are that. It's like it's almost lake. Different artists have painted this. Because they're just so each twin difference and that's because each person is so different so that the ideas that come are totally unique to each person. Because we're all so lovely and unique exactly exactly and we all have different colors right when you think about ourselves as humans. The things that we appreciate about each person in our life is can be really really different than really interesting. In a way like for instance we appreciate someone for being very reliable that say but Another person we appreciate for being. So i know may be wild or crazy. Your yes yes exactly exactly so different. Different colors will come up different. Compositions on some minor vary Black and white. I'm grateful personalities ability to make quick decisions One that i just finished it's just this fireball with of a heart shine in the middle of it. Because that's how i feel about her she. She was explosive in my life when she was Part of my life. That's that's how. I wanted to express my gratitude for her. I have another one. That's like all pastels to you. Because that's how i think about her. Just gentle beautiful indeed indeed the night and i think it's such a beautiful way of letting someone know what they mean to you like. It's something really visual. You can say the words and of course that's very impactful But in in callers and in through painting. I think that that's that really says a lot what you're feeling for that person. Yes i agree. Wonderful wonderful wonderful and if you could go back in time. Let's say ten years ago ten years ago. What would you tell your younger self about gratitude. That did it has a real power that that changes everything. I mean it seems kind of cliche. I suppose in a way but it really does that. I Especially my younger self Struggling with depression for such a long time off. And on. Throughout my life that i i had i had the keyed to help. I had the tool to help with me that whole time which was gratitude and So i would tell myself to certify keychain find that one and focus on it because that's that's the unlocks joy. True joy totally agree. Of course and i was also thinking a little bit about your project and what you do and The fact that indeed gratitude is amazing and it can help us lot. But another thing that you're doing with your project that i think it's very important is the fact that you give it to other people and it's not just inner gratitude but it's actually Getting other people involved in the process and schering the gratitude. Yes there's something really. Profound gratitude stuff is very profound feeling. I'm feeling that sense of wonder for the world around us is is just incredibly powerful. There's something powerfully magical about expressing gratitude to another person. I'm not sure. I don't know what it is. That makes it so different recognizing the the goodness in another human being. Perhaps it helps us to see the goodness in ourselves in a way that That's more powerful. I'm not sure but something happens when we express our gratitude to another person. That is unparalleled. It's it's so profound we get to touch the heart of another person and it's like you get a double serving of the benefits of gratitude. Exactly exactly because one of the ways of actually getting out of depression or of Things that are going on inside the bus is actually Go getting outside and seeing other people and Touching their lives somehow seeing that getting them to understand that they are appreciated themselves and that They met there. We get to feel that feeling as well and we get to feel more appreciated our selves as well. And i think that's that's an important part and the fact that you're doing this With other people and four other people is is an important part of of this as well. And i think it's why it it worked even better for you like it wasn't just something in inside of you but it. It was something that involves other people as well. Yes i i agree. Wonderful wonderful so Beside this Amazing thing that you're doing expressing your gratitude through callers Do you have any other practices that keep you grateful consistently. I do one thing that i do. This is my In case of emergency practice. So you know life happens. And there're sometimes Sometimes traumatic things happen and we find ourselves relaying. And i can. I can feel myself. Wouldn't starting to slip back into depression and anxiety. And so when i can feel myself slipping. I do a gratitude body scan. And i start with my toes and i just think about my toes in wyan ungrateful for my toes and i then i think about the arches of my feed in anger over the arches of my feet end my heels and my ankles and i just slowly move up through my body and i realize that i have so much sivy grateful for that. I can have chaos happening in one part of my life but that that simple body scan allows me to see that there are also other good things in my life. And i can choose to focus on those things as well and so then once. I kind of refill my gratitude tanks so to speak than i'm able to them look at that chaotic situation with fresh eyes and more compassionate is and start to see where the edges could soften a little bit. See where maybe they chaos isn't quite so awful as i thought and it just helps me to cope with things in a way. That's much more effective and So that practice is really really healthy. Super simple and it works really fast. I love it. I love it. It actually would saw our attention on something positive on something that works in our live lou and It really refrains the whole situation and There's actually a lot of research backing this up on the fact that once we are in a responsive state in the reactive state we are much more able to deal with situations and another parts of the brain that in the reactive. State is Basically dormant Is activated and we can do many more things. Thanks to us making sure that we are in the the responsive state. So it's it's quite interesting. How how you found a way of applying this and I'm i've done this myself. And there is research backing this up. So that's quite amazing so Else wanted to ask you about what happened when you established this habit of being grateful beyond the nasties and innovative travel community built for the post. Covid world designed by two amazing open-heart travelers and cross generational women business leaders. These women believe in the transformative power of travel and knowing that in twenty twenty one people will want more than what travel us to offer beyond the nest offers a series of bespoke international and domestic retreats for small groups who value education and luxury equally. Each retreat takes place at the five star. Venue featuring rely on experts and lucid experiences. Like privatised light gallery tours. their motto is. There's no reason your days of motivation. Recreation and adventure can't end with a five star onside massage beyond the nest is already sending out spots for their first few trips. Visit the website at beyond the nest dot org and mentioned gratitude. Podcast for a fifteen percent discount on your first trip. Well i started to really feel the effects of gratitude really early on. I mean just just a couple paintings in. And i realized that by spending that time thinking about another person and the things that she had brought into my life. I'm feeling so inspiration or Or kindness that she had offered. Or i mean there's there's such a number of things that it just. It helped me to start seeing the world with a fresh set of eyes. And i was able to see that there were in fact people who were very kind to me and i could feel love and that was revelatory to me that i actually had. I thought i didn't. I didn't think that i was capable of it. But but i realized that. I was and so those feelings of gratitude started with those lemon and then i noticed that relationships within my family that they started to sweeten that i could see things that i was grateful far in my husband and my children and the the woman who is checking out at the grocery store bagging my groceries that they're that the world was full of really good people and i started to see that and then it just started to spill out into everything and noticing how beautiful the flowers are and just that the world is just this really beautiful and wonderful place and yes hard things happen but but we don't have to think of them as hard we don't have to think of them as devastating that we can them in other ways to and that's just as legitimate as any other way and it it's just a wonderful way to For example today's a really hot day. We've had a series of really hot days here where i live in In our air conditioning went out last night. And so it's you know about seven o'clock in the morning and the house is really warm already so and A couple years ago like my stomach would have been a nazi. Oh my gosh. How are we gonna ford to today for somebody to come out in fix this and we're just gonna be miserable. What am i gonna do with the kids all day or be song comfortable but now it's like gosh. She just so grateful that a had an air conditioner up until now. Your houses been so cool. That's really incredible and our talent has several people who could come out and servicer air conditioning unit. I just need to wait until These businesses are opening all. Find somebody. and you'll we can readjust the budget and make out work. it's no. I am confident that can make that happen. And it's really not that big video. Exactly i love this perspective. And i think it's such a great example of how gratitude can can really shift your day like if you if you would've been in the other situation in the other state Probably on the outside Like the practical things with the Happened the same may be but With the with the whole different energy usage. From on your side. And of course from what i know our kids are influenced by our state and we influence each other quite the latin. It could have been like a disaster or something like that really bad that can that could've went on for days and for weeks. Maybe so that's why. I believe as well that gratitude can be so powerful like in even in these situations instead of being in in In a state that can cause even more problems you can actually realized and it's not the li- like it's it's so true it worked until this moment and you can. There are people that are doing this and that are willing to come to your house and fix it which is amazing and of course it can be a cost but thankfully usually we have enough money or we can make enough money to to make that happen so our first reaction might be like a reactive instead of a responsive reaction but I i so love this. This example and another example that you gave and the that resonated with israel quite a lot is the one that The checkout at the grocery store just appreciating the fact that you are your health in small way can really enrich that experience. It's a simple experience but if you overlook it is just another part of life another thing that happened but if you Appreciate it if you see it it can be something that you can rejoice about four hours like you can think about it and you can think about how amazing this world these and the people in it and of course this spills into other areas of your life do and and this is. This is where i think. The power of gratitude is at play and You gave some wonderful examples. Thank you thank you and you are exactly right exactly right with all of that. Yeah we we seem to be on the same wavelength so so in your life. Who are the people that really had an impact tend really you really feel that you have much much gratitude for them. Can you mention a few of them. Oh my gosh Yeah i know that is a really difficult question. Because i feel like there are just so many. That's been one of the incredible gifts of the hundred. Hearts project is recognizing that my life is full of people that i am so profoundly grateful for in a certain way. It's it's almost like. I feel equally grateful for each of them because when when it whatever it is that i'm feeling grateful for for that person. Whatever that was. I mean i i feel the same sort of intensity because in the moment that was really important. Great all i. I'm looking at one team seeing that i did for. It's actually for a group of women they are librarians at our local library. And they have been so kind to our family and Have really helped to instill a deep level learning with our children and our kids by name and they help them find books if they're looking for in the libraries like a second home for us so deeply grateful of course members. Unconditional love that they offer or even some of the paintings that i've done are for people that i've never met one. Actually the one that i talked about earlier the fireball spirit singer that she especially during college she was like she wrote my anthems and see somehow could see into my heart express feelings that i had that i was unable to but she could do it and put it to music. I could sing along. And i just felt like she. She gave voice to things that i didn't know how to voice. And so my knesset grateful for her too so i. It's hard i can't i. I don't think i can really single out any one in particular. It's a beautiful way to live to just feel grateful for all the people you in into totally agreed. And i love. I love this example as well like I i really didn't think about this yet The the people that we don't actually know that don't know us like like the singer fact that somehow she's been with you through those tough times. Maybe your maybe through. J fulltime said that's good as well Painting a painting for for her and Thinking about how much gratitude you have for her that. That's quite amazing. Like i really. I really think that's another really good idea that i can implement of course and also Our listeners they could think about who is that That singer beth artists that inspired them and that They felt they were close. Close wade somehow in maybe periods. That weren't so easy or may be joyful periods and It's it's someone that they wouldn't have thought that I could have gratitude for but it's it's quite amazing that that you mentioned it and i think it's it's very inspiring Sit to tag along with the idea of maybe people that you wouldn't think of. There's one hurt that. I created and it was a really difficult one for me to paint because it was somebody who i have really struggled with this person for a long time and We have a long history of frustrating interactions for for both of us and so i decided to create a heart for her and it was really amazing. Because asked i did. I felt that. I was given the opportunity to peek into her life and see that she has always been doing the best that she has known how to do in her life has been fraught with difficulty and i left the experience of creating my heart for her with a deep sense of compassion and forgiveness. So where. I was really kind of nervous going into harvard. Unlike astronaut exactly share. How can send this to be to be grateful for honestly the payment. She goes in my life. It was significant for me and on the other side of it. Now that's all gone. I only feel love and compassion for her. And i am grateful for the lessons that she taught me she definitely taught me about boundaries. And what's appropriate in an appropriate and and she taught me how to forgive to and we wanna wonderful opportunity to have somebody in my life to teach me how to forgive deeply in that way profoundly grateful for her. This is wonderful and such a great way of having a healing experience through art through relating to the other person in in this way and of course. I assure that you did some in the work as well to to help with that And i think it's another really good idea that that our listeners can can relate to because it's we all have someone in our life that that is similar to your to your person and it's beautiful way to express why what's inside and to heal. So yeah i i think it's. It's another really good idea is great for me exactly exactly. This is what we don't realize sometimes the the one that has the most Positive outcome out of forgiving is actually ourselves so so We're nearing our Time the end of our time together. And i wanted to ask you where us find you. Well there is Two places so you can go to hundred hearts project dot org and that's the website for the painting project and they're really encourage people to consider taking on their own hundred hearts project. It is not need to be painting. It doesn't need to be for women it's just one hundred acts of gratitude for one hundred people. The experience has been totally transformative for me. And and that's really where the project was born from learning to share that with as many people as possible. So i'm kind of i'm on the tail end of of my project. I'm almost a have eight more to paint and actually Since since we talked initially to set this up by a new project has has has come and this. I'm i'm very excited about as well. It's very much related. The million hearts project seeing two million hearts project dot org. And it's still it's very beginning stages so there is a place to just jock your email to be notified as things progress but this is a collaborative are ingratitude project. Where each person who participates decorates a hard for somebody that they're grateful for an writes a little bit about that person and then that heart in that little bit of writing is then grouped into collections of five hundred thousand and those are displayed together in public places in libraries. Hostels in places around the world that when you walk into these spaces you can just feel and see the power of gratitude all around you colorful moving way though yes so some of the first starts have already been created and things are things are moving along but right now it's Just if you wanna stay stay up to date with that in and be a part of it as it. Unfolds can head over to that website. Slow wow so actually experiencing gratitude in these places that that seem a little bit random somehow such a good idea also awesome good. So thank you so much for being here with us for sharing all of your wisdom all of your experience and your amazing projects. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's been an absolute delight. Pay gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been georgia banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

depression george bente George bente jenny love miller jami liz jenny facebook lou anxiety ford israel wade beth harvard georgia
Gratitude Is The Hardest Thing For People To Learn - TJ Nelligan

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

23:07 min | 9 months ago

Gratitude Is The Hardest Thing For People To Learn - TJ Nelligan

"And gratitude i think is the hardest thing for people to learn and soak to watch a person with intellectual disabilities. Be so grateful. Every day was life changing for me you know. He just reveled in the things that he could do and the fund that he had in the comrade already had with his friends and you know was grateful that he could play basketball grateful when he was with his cousins or aunts. Uncles sisters or mother and he was just one of the most happy human beings i've ever seen and that's hard for mere mortals like us to be happy in know. What does that even mean. There's like hundreds of thousands of books on amazon out of be happy in the moment. he just did. It naturally came naturally to him. He didn't try. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. Where you'll hear new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of are successful guests and their actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to a new episode of gratitude. Podcast today with us. We have an entrepreneur advocate and published author amena vaction who has made it his life's mission to serve and benefit others. What he's trying to share with us with the world is an important message and An important lesson from his special needs son. dj nailing gun. Welcome the democratic podcast. You so much. It's a pleasure to bigger. The pleasure is mine. Thank you for being here. So let's us know little bit more about you about The story behind the ball cow. You got the idea and we'll take it from there well. I spent twenty five years in college. Sports marketing in media last fifteen owning my own company with forty. Some offices around the country was very driven type a personality and when you're type a personality it's pretty hard to find gratitude because you always have another goal another stop in life along the road you want to get to and you tell yourself when i get to this position. I'm gonna be happy and grateful when i get to this. Many employees the company's doing x. amount in revenue. Then i'll be grateful. And then i'll be happy and i had a special needs. Son was was born in nineteen ninety and the first five to ten years or very difficult as parents of special needs children. No because you spend all your time going to doctors medications physical therapy speech therapy a and it takes you on a winding road. That is very hard on. The parents emotionally physically and then one day all of a sudden sean as he became a teenager we used to call them the mayor. He'd walk in any room like he owned it for star in sports or professional actor and he was so happy and he had so much gratitude which was very confusing to me. Because i'm sure anyone that would look at sean. That didn't know what to say. What does he have to be grateful about. Why is he happy and yet he went through each day not knowing what he could not accomplish or couldn't do he was happy with his accomplishments and so at one point. I realized you know those shattered dreams. Were not sean streams. He seems perfectly happy to be alive. These the happiest kid. I've ever seen every day. Eight hop out of bed and say it's going to be a great day. And so he couldn't ride a two wheel bike so we got our three will bikes. He would shoot baskets in love sports for hours out the driveway and became very good at it and he just exemplified what a happy life is is to be grateful for today to live in the present moment which is another difficult thing for taipei personalities. Or anyone for that. Matter is to live in the present. This present moment is all you have. You don't know what you have going forward and so to watch him one on one communicate and be present in that person's life for that time and always remembering everybody's name and giving his trademark big bear hogs was such a joy to see that it actually changes your life when you see that and you realize growing up. We thought my daughter's more and megan than On's mom maggie. Thought we had a teach sean about life and protect him both physically and emotionally in case people would say mean things to him which never really happened. Thank god for us up. But then there comes a day where you realize. This young taught us more about life and the lessons. We should all learn in life than we could have ever taught him. That's amazing that's amazing and they believe that It's impart to your support. Your your love your action or you feel like it was his gift to the world. I think it was both. But i think it was his gift to the world that he was such a kind soul. My daughter's more. Megan will call him the angel on earth. He just always had a perpetual smile. He was always happy. But i also think that. We took him everywhere. He went to sporting events. Final four super bowls biggies conference basketball tournaments with me all the time. And if somebody didn't like that or they felt like he was weirder them uncomfortable. While that sean did not come that person gets cut out of the equation. And so i think sean taught us. What unconditional love means. I mean you could be standing in a reception before a sporting event and he decide. This is the time that i need to hug my dad. And he'd hug you and not let go for a minute or two and some people would look like that and it just gave you the best feeling that you knew. This young man was showing. What unconditional love is really about. And we should learn from that. That's amazing. i love that. And i think it's Like you said it teaches us Very valuable lesson of being able to be present and to enjoy. The moment tend to do what you feel in that moment. That's very beautiful. And when i think about that moment that you just described as it's if you feel like showing appreciation to someone you just do it right right exactly and and you know. He met many famous athletes because we to work in sports but yet one of my favorite stories was his first day work when he was probably about nineteen years old sow his mom dropped him off. He came and he and his best grant who played on some special olympic sports teams basketball and soccer and others. Were doing our accounts receivable so they put the envelopes in. They put the stamp on and they mail away. All the accounts receivable before sent tuck such pride in their work. There are probably are two best employees while at the end of his first day. We go downstairs to leave the building and the security guy. Slash doorman is sitting there. And sean walks right up to him and high five and it goes okay brutal okay. Bruno seeing next week and he says and say hi to your granddaughters. Now i've walked past this man for ten years. Maybe gave him a little wave a little. Hello good morning. i didn't know his name. Sean work there one day and he knew the man's name he knew something about him. He knew that he had two granddaughters. So i get in the car all confused. I'm like sean. how do you know bruno's name. Oh i met him. This morning. When i came in i. Tom was my first day at work and it was very happy to meet him and it teaches you a lesson. Because then he'll meet famous athletes or you know famous celebrities and he treats some exactly the same. He didn't treat a senator he met her. Eli manning or derrick jeeter any different than he would treat bruno the doorman at my office building. Because if they were kind to him and showed respect he showed that same kindness and respect back in fact he was the proactiv one to initiate these relationships and the people knew it was coming from a place of kindness authenticity and it was genuine so they welcomed it. Well that's amazing. That's amazing so missile. So many life lessons Can be learned from such wonderful soul in such a wonderful person and i think it's it's amazing. Was it always the same like you. You mentioned that in the beginning it was really hard for you and It wasn't something really easy. Like it is right now to show so much appreciation for sean then for what he brought in your life. Well i think it's very difficult to i. Five to ten years for any parent because initially you're you're shocked and saddened. You're grieving from the quote normal child. You thought you were entitled to everybody out there and then you go on a winding journey where you're doing nothing but being proactive to take them to the proper doctors find the right schools. Be their advocate for education in the first ten years but also figured out. Where do they fit in. What do they need to maximize their potential. And it's a long road and it takes awhile. It's not easy but for other parents out there. You gotta keep the face because there does come a day when you look at this same child and realize. I don't see the disabilities anymore. I only see what they can do what they can achieve. And i've always said that inspiration can come from the most unlikely places mean who thought that sean would have a book and this is shaun spock. I'm just the messenger. I'm telling the message job sean. And all the other amazing special olympics athletes and other special needs young men and young women who have touched my life over the years at his schools as well. He was lucky to be involved in two special needs schools that maximized his ability taught him more than i ever thought he could learn. And i i know to this day that he always knew more than we thought he. Did you know he would go to sporting events and he loves sports so much had such a passion for sports and he couldn't do mathematics and couldn't read yet he knew the logos of every team and he knew which team was winning. And i still have no idea how this happened. I call it sports math in the buck that he knew if the giants are winning seven. Nothing we score another touchdown. We're going to be winning fourteen. Nothing and i'd look at him a base to say what seven seven. I don't know but two touchdowns fourteen so was amazing. How the brain works and if you have a passion for something that you can work on that passion a maximize your abilities. This so true. That's so true and it's something that can all think about like even if we're not great at at certain things a certain things aren't working rate in our lives that doesn't mean that we can't be really good in in other ones and appreciate the fact that we we have those gifts and Like shows case actually Being the family of someone that appreciates these kinds of things very much. And i think that's that's wonderful. Yeah it was amazing to watch him. Interact with people all of his teammates. He was like the head cheerleader now. He was pretty good at basketball. It really liked soccer but he played it because his teammates were there and he'd be the first one to high five or cheer for him and if they lost see said okay. We'll win next time and he'd give every one of his teammates a hug before he left. And that's what he likes. He likes the camaraderie. The friendship you know. That unconditional love. He had not only for his family and his relatives but his teammates as well and he just love going to those events because it gave him the opportunity that all of us had growing up which is the have all these friends and to be involved in something where you have a common interest and a common goal. I think sports are amazing Especially from this point of view of the fact that you have other people their brothers and sisters and people who are on the same team and working toward the same goal and Helping each other and being there when when someone falls it's it's a beautiful feeling and I think it's definitely something That the people that have experienced this can can think about ten can be grateful and I also wanted to ask you a little bit about How how you were able to To accept Losing sean and Being able to do not just accept it but to to show your appreciation for him. And for what He's he brought in your life even after he passed. Well it's still a struggle every day. I don't think you ever get over losing a child because it's not the natural way life should work and i've met so many people that reached out to me who are in the club as they call it. It's a club that you'd never wish anyone would have to join. But i realized that part of me died with sean that day. A part of him is inside me forever. As i sat down to write his eulogy i just started writing all these stories and anecdotes. And and things about sean. And i realized there is a recurring theme or kept coming up with different things that he was so happy he was such a good friend. He wasn't inspiration to so many. And i came up with the term. Live like sean notley. Not when it's easy not when it's convenient but every day. So as i gave his eulogy and his sister spoke in his mom spoke after it was over friend. Came up to me. Who's written some bucks and he said that was amazing. That's the title of your book. You just gave the outline to great book. that's so many people will benefit from Especially people with special needs children and he said light. Sean is your book. And next thing. I knew i was writing a book which had no intention to do and i figured out you know what i wrote it because i wanted to remember all the great stories about sean. When i'm twenty years older thirty years older not forget so. I figured well at best i have. It will make a copy his cousins and teammates and coaches. And that'll be that. And then all of a sudden it took on a life of its own. Now it's out there everywhere. Everybody's talking about it. I've gotten so many emails and texts from people saying that you captured the emotions of our family when we went through all of that and emails from people. That said this book is going to help so many people because it shaun's book and so this is really shawn's legacy that he's always inspired others to take action mike me and thousands of others who did many things for special olympics in the special olympics. Usa games we hosted a new jersey and his schools But it's just amazing to read the comments that are all of these people. Have about sean. And that was. The hardest part for me to read was his cousins and aunts and uncles writing letters in the back of the book. They all had sent me letters so we decided to put them in the book and those are the hardest to read. Because i realized i knew. How amazing sean was his sisters and his mother knew how amazing human being he was but then you realize he had that effect on. Everyone in our that affect is is huge. He's just affected so many people have such a great way that this book will now be his legacy forever to help so many other people and you know it's his message and it isn't amazing message of kindness of inspiration and he was probably the best human being. I've ever known to mazing and i in in what you did. Basically from my point of view it's It's a beautiful gesture of appreciation and A writing the book Being on podcasts Talking about the book. And talking about sean and Just the fact that You found so many amazing things about him. I think it's it's it's part of his legacies. Will i know that you you mentioned that. He basically taught you how to feel grateful. And i think this is actually a way in which you actually on that gratitude. Then i think that's that's amazing and it's very inspiring while i appreciate that but it's it's almost like the messages coming in from sean. Threw me to reach so many people that he can't reach in person anymore but he can reach them through his spirit through his love for them through. You know people getting a chance to get to know him better through this book and it wasn't easy to write at times But i think at the end of the day. His message will live on forever and that'll be his legacy and gratitude. I think is the hardest thing for people to learn and to watch a person with intellectual disabilities. Be so grateful every day was life changing for me you know. He just reveled in the things that he could do and the fund that he had in the camaraderie had with his friends and i was grateful that he could play basketball grateful when he was with his cousins aunts uncles. Our sisters or mother and he was just one of the most happy human beings i've ever seen and that's hard for mere mortals like us to be happy in. What does that even mean. It was like hundreds of thousands of books on amazon. How to be happy in the moment he just did. It naturally came naturally to him. He didn't try you. Know he didn't have the therapist or guru telling them how to be happy. And how to have gratitude and oprah town to write a gratitude journal. He just did it every day by himself. And it was an amazing process to watch and i think many people benefited from his leadership in that way. And i think it's actually the best way to learn to have These of such person seeing the fact that the are ritual. They are happy it it makes you see the world differently. Makes you see that it's possible for you as well to to be grateful to be happy and And leading by example like you said. That's that's perfect. That's the best way for us to textually. internalize something. And that's amazing. Let's He was able to do it. Yes that's been a truly amazing journey to go on especially after writing this book. And seeing you know the outpouring support love for sean from so many people and i think that is his legacy is legacy is. He's taught so many people had to be kind to be a friend. How to be grateful and I hope that his legacy in this book can help so many people in. Yeah i i think it already is inspiring. Many people and i'm sure that our our listeners are as well inspired by. Just you talk about sean and about the amazing things that He was able to do and in the amazing impact. He had on on so many people. And i know that Actually today as they're recording That the book will be available throughout the us right. Yeah the buck is available. Throughout the country you can go to t j nelamagan dot com and e. double l. Elijah an tj elegant dot com. We also have a facebook lincoln twitter and instagram. Tj nell again to learn more about sean and The book is available anywhere. Bookstores are sold today. Which is which is amazing. So i appreciate being on with you on the day. The book actually is in the bookstores. Dan it's amazing it. It's been a real pleasure getting to know you and getting to know schon through. And i'm sure that our listeners will enjoy listening to this episode and also reading the book. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. It's been a great pleasure as it is with gratitude when you feel abundant q. Want all the people you care about to. Experience it to so my gratitude seeker if you haven't done so already go to georgia in benton dot com slash free week and you'll get access to first week of the how to experience abundance through gratitude course for free. That's right for free. I believe there's always room for more gratitude and abundance in our life so let this year beer year of prosperity and appreciation. Are you with me. Let's go from lacked. Lucky in one week just visit georgia bent dot com slash. Free week or dabbed. Lincoln the description.

sean basketball george bente Bente amena vaction sean streams derrick jeeter bruno shaun spock olympics super bowls soccer taipei amazon Sean Eli manning maggie sean notley megan Megan
Slow Down When Your Mind Is Racing With Gratitude - Serena Sterling

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

29:43 min | 6 months ago

Slow Down When Your Mind Is Racing With Gratitude - Serena Sterling

"But i also think that gratitude is away to change your vibration. So that if you're if you're really feeling anxious for example or you're feeling depressed or things like that you can easily just take stock of what you do have in your life. Because we're i think for myself. I get into sometimes patterns of co pay. Don't have this. They don't have that. I have to do that. It's way to religious. Slow everything down and be grateful for the things that you do have because there's always something that you can find to be grateful for even when it seems like you're having a really bad day and especially when you have a bad day. I think it's important. We are feeling out of control or your. Your mind is racing. I think it's a way to really slow down and be able to change a prospective extremely quickly with no other interventions. Except for what you're doing within your own mind. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast. George bente high granted his seeker. Welcome to new episode of the gratitude podcast. Our guest today holds a master's in international journalism a doctorate in clinical psychology and. He's a certified life coach as the result of them. September eleven attacks. She was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and was told by her doctor that there was no cure. Serena snorted lines of cocaine. Her kitchen to escape living with chronic fatigue not accepting a lifetime of chronic fatigue discovered mind body healing techniques that transformed her mental emotional and physical health when sh- witnessed the miraculous transfer transformation that she went through she decided to share what she has learned with the world. She received a master's and the doctorate in clinical psychology in order to bridge the gap between science and emotional health. Her book bain. Love story is a spiritual journey of healing backed by scientific research our guest. They let them really happy to introduce that. I was really happy to introduce is serena sterling. Welcome serena thank you for having scrapie here my pleasure. So i've given our audience be a glimpse of who you are of the things that you've none of your life. if you want to fill in the gaps. i be really appreciative. Sure so As as you said in the intro. I have all those degrees. And what sparked my interest in becoming will. Learning psychology was because of my experience with chronic fatigue. After nine eleven it was. I had this debilitating amount of fatigue and my doctor basically gave me no hope that i would ever get better. And i didn't. I don't want to live with that I've also had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Since i was nine and i've always had an interest in the mind body connection and so when i finally found a doctor in new york that could help me. I was fascinated. And i put my journalism degree and my my work at a magazine aside so that i can learn these mind. Body stress reduction techniques combined with psychology. Because i got better in length three weeks versus learning to live with it. And i'm so immensely grateful for that experience And it it's put me on a different path. And i thought it would be on. But it's one that i feel has been really fulfiling mets mazing and Can you tell us what happened on. Eleven for you. That caused the Chronic fatigue syndrome. Yes well i was. I was working for a magazine called spirituality and health and they're located in lower manhattan It was well. They're on trendy place which is Two blocks from the world trade center and i was late to work that day. I was actually hanging out with friends from france who i met in journalism school. She is supposed flight. Back to london on September eleven. And i got stuck in the subway at wall street which is just a few blocks from where the world trade center was and by the time i reached the street level. The first tower had already fallen complete white out. I couldn't see more than five feet in front of myself. And i feel that i probably went into shock at that point and Just followed people down wall street. And then i saw the second tower collapsed and i walk tom but it was. It was so overwhelming. What i was witnessing. Fortunately i didn't see other things didn't see people jumping see I have a friend that Unspeakable and i would spared that but it was still so overwhelming that What i've learned in psychology is that the body will Will filter emotions. That are too overwhelming to feel. And so you'll develop different symptoms and for me. It came out to teague. And i just. I ended up working from home for five months because the office had to be cleaned and it took that long and so i i basically sleep on my couch and i was sleeping all the time and i i. It's one point was just like okay. I'm gonna have to go to the doctor and see if he can tell me what's going on. And that's when he diagnosed me with chronic fatigue. And so i feel that i basically showed all the overwhelming sadness anger and despair and terror. And i didn't want to feel any of it. I had to keep working just landed my dream job this after getting my master's in journalism i just landed my dream job and i didn't want to Not be able to deal. And so i feel that i suppressed all my emotions and didn't feel but it came out manifested as the teak eating and One of the things that i i've seen in my own experiences data at times Place my experience with fatigue is even though. I'm not tired physically because i i'm going through all kinds of Stressful moments i feel tired. And it's it's very interesting for me to to realize that the need to do much physically to feel fatigued. And i think it's it's very much related to what you're seeing right yes It was the way described. That fatigue was that it's this heaviness asks that you know. I could basically be doing my dishes and then be like okay. Well i'm going to have to take nap. And i take a nap for an hour and a half that's not normal but it's this overwhelming heaviness that where you just kinda feel like kind of like when you have the flu and you just want to sleep. Yes he just. Don't have the energy but you could be doing something Meant like i couldn't read anymore content. Anything just tired me out And it was really difficult to keep my job. I just felt like i was going to have to move home and Live with my parents terms. Achieving a master's journalism. And how did you manage to to overcome this. Well like you said in the intro. I did end up doing lines of cocaine and my kitchen to stay awake. Because i was at my rock bottom. Basically think everyone gets to some bottom place and that was mine And i my doctor. Medical doctor told me there is no cure to stay away from sugar and caffeine and learn to cope. That was not an acceptable answer for me And so i asked a friend of mine if he could get me ritalin adderall. Because they thought okay. Well that will. Just give me a stimulant until i can figure out what to do and he content And i ended up using cocaine instead. But i felt like here. I am working at spirituality and health magazine. And i am doing cocaine. This is like the biggest example of imposter syndrome. And i had been introduced to something called neuro emotional technique when i was in college in portland oregon and i i had this very big hunt. I knew that. I wasn't dealing with my emotions trying to go through the motions of living life in new york city and working at magazine and so i found the doctor Who'd chiropractor but it was. This technique was developed by chiropractor and after the first session. I walked home. I walked three miles. Which i hadn't been able to walk more than three blocks and so that's when i knew okay. This is working good. i have something to. That's gonna probably get me better. And then i stuck with it for a few more weeks and then i did some other things like diet nutrition and all of that just you know i was in my early twenty s also so that probably helps but all of that turn things around so that i was able to regain my health. It's amazing that something that The doctor said that it's something you just need to accept. You are able to overcome and I think it's in general Signal of hope. Let's say for many of us who might be going through things that seem answer surmountable and maybe even other people are telling them that. It's not possible for them to do something or to get healthy again or something like this and think your Your story bring soap to people. And i think that's that's wonderful but they also on it to get to the the name of your book What they understand from from the title itself Is that at some level. It would be good for us to be able to appreciate bain somehow Correct me. If i'm wrong but I'm i'm seeing hero connection between gratitude and pain and Life in general. Yes definitely. I would say that. A lot of people who develop chronic pain in particular day Because can come seemingly come out of the blue for no apparent reason. People can be very angry about that and can feel like their bodies are portraying them. But what i've learned is that your body is communicating to you in ways that will hopefully Like wake you up in a way that you. If you're repressing certain emotions than your body will often take the brunt of that so that you don't have to feel about because it believes that it's the lesser of two evils in a way is to have disco pain. Robert emotional pain and so what i've done with my the work and the way that help people is that i have them I make the connections by together. I'm not i don't see myself as a healer. I see myself as a conduit for helping them figure out where what they're not seeing in what they're not Feeling and so once they're able though to start making those connections in seem like. Oh wow so. I was really upset with my partner and instead of telling my partner that i just basically stole all my emotions and now my body is feeling pain than that person gets to be able to appreciate their body and appreciate that that ability of the body to communicate and so pain obviously is no one ever wants to feel pain but if we can accept that our bodies are actually these amazing mechanisms that help as see things and understand things that we normally wouldn't have get to appreciate more of The body's ability to work with us. That's amazing i think is the first time when when i'm seeing the body from from this perspective i think it's it's a very loving way of seeing the body taking care of us even of our emotions and taking it in somehow Taking the hits. And i think that this in this intern gives us the opportunity to have the kind of love and compassion for it as well instead of hating it one way or another because is in serving this As we might want in in certain situations But they also wanted to ask you about How how do you feel. What do you feel about gratitude. And how gratitude can help us with The emotions that that were experiencing. I would say that Gratitude helps people in pain. It's not the be all and end all. Because i think there are a lot of layers to it when you're in pain but i think that if you can start to ask your body Questions in terms of what are you trying to tell me and really be quiet and listen and see what comes up as well as As well as to thank it and love it so sometimes a practice. That i do is that if i'm feeling something whether it's emotional or physical i asked for sensation i asked for like what is trying to tell me and then i just like hold my heartening to say thank you. I love you And because they think that a lot of times when we're in pain we don't wanna feel pain so we try to repress badghis makes it worse so sitting with the pain and allowing that to be there and being thankful but it's they're trying to tell you something can often shift things rather than It's almost like the analogies a consider is you know if you think someone who's drowning and bring someone in and they're trying to see you and they just keep flailing like no. No no i can do him on my own and now got you. It's okay you can let go. It's relax it's okay and then you kind of like sync into that and allow yourself to be held and you're basically holding yourself. Well this perspective. And i think it's Gratitude in action the fact that we know that we can rely on on our body and we can appreciate it at least as much and i think this is an important idea that we take care of so many things in our life that need to take to be taken care of our car our Siblings our parents our everyone but sometimes we forget about the the most important relationship that we have actually with ourselves with our bundy and somewhat many times our bodies are taking the hits because we are focused so much on on others and taking care of other things his status and like you said taking the time to communicate to be aware of what it communicates. That's that's so powerful. And and i think it's It's a gratitude action something that we can do and That allows us to feel more gratitude. Because we we start by knowing that our bodies there to help us right And also on onto desk q. If you have Certainly phoenician for gratitude. Like what is gratitude for you. How do you define it. I would say that gratitude is a way of taking notes Of what is happening in your life in your body that allows you to take pause and to see what you do have versus. What you don't because i think maybe this is. Tally grew up But it's this idea that we're all striving to be better and we comparison of other people We try not to. But i think we do and And we're constantly go go go. We don't really one. We don't really like You know take our accomplishments and really celebrate them. We just keep going And i think that's important. One is just figure out a way to have a ritual around something you've achieved but i also think that gratitude is a way to change your vibration so that if you're if you're really feeling anxious for example or you're feeling depressed or things like that you can easily just take stock of what you have in your life. Because we're i think for myself. I get into symptoms patterns of co pay. Don't have this. They don't have that. I have to do that. It's way to really ages. Slow everything down and be grateful for the things that you do have because there's always something that you can find be grateful for even when it seems like you're having a really bad day and especially when you have a bad day. I think it's important where you're feeling out of control or your. Your mind is racing. I think it's a way to really slow down and be able to change a perspective extremely quickly with no other interventions. Except for what you're doing within your own mind. Yeah that's that's one of the most powerful things that that gratitude can do for us. It changes the way we see our experience of life and the way we What we see. Actually because andy given time we can feel really depressed about how are going but we can also feel really grateful about how things are going and it's it's really funny that it's like this that we can actually choose and we have of our time. We we forget that we can choose and We can see things from a different perspective and see those things That are working because listen my experience. They're always things that are working rate and things that aren't so great in the world in my life in the lives of the people that i know and it's really up to us and it's really Our chance our opportunity to to to shift this. And since i i've mentioned Other people in our life. I think they're also A source of gratitude Some people in your life that influenced you in a positive way that you'd like to mention maybe even thank well. I feel like my mom gets a bad rap in my book because there's a lot of things that happened. That weren't that great but they're also a lot of things that she did give me And so obviously she gave me life but she also She instilled in me. This idea that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. She always tell me that So i feel grateful that even though there are certain things that we we all we want things in our parents for a lot of people that we don't get but there's but you know to change your perspective just like we were discussing I feel like that just that alone. Her same like you can just do anything. As long as you put your mind to it that was always helpful And i've had. I've had friends along the way had mentors and I think that. I don't have anyone specific. But all the people that are kind of like the rebels or kind of like the people who they found something that wasn't working like the person who his name is dr scott walker and he developed this technique called neuro emotional technique and he found that his client is patients. Weren't getting better by just doing traditional chiropractic so he started asking questions and he developed a technique that has changed my life around and so people like that who find the problem. And i develop a solution is that is holistic and that doesn't involve medication and can turn people's lights around like things like that inspire me. I feel so grateful that they had the perspicacity and the dedication and determination to help other people the social and so it's it's amazing knowing that there are so many people dedicated to helping us have a better life and overcome different kinds of Challenges that we have the interesting thing is that when when we're in the challenge regardless if it's An emotional personnel of some sort or physical challenge. We tend to feel that we are alone or that there aren't solutions to it. But what you just mentioned the fact that there are people that did their best and dr doing their best to to help other people overcome them. I think this is the something really wonderful to be grateful for in general and i think we can all feel very grateful knowing that there are these kinds of people and maybe we are one. We are some of them Us to or the people listening that want to do this for For the world and for For other people. And i don't know this this gives me a a very good feeling and It makes me very grateful as well when i'm thinking about it because many times. We're we're so focused on the politicians aren't doing what they said. They would or on different kinds of people that are influencing the world in a negative way that we forget about these people that are doing their best every day to make our lives better in a smaller or bigger way think. I think that's so amazing that that you brought this up. Thank you thank you. Yeah definitely. I think anyone even definitely your listeners. Who are seeking out something different. You want to know more about crowded and implemented into their lives and It's start small everyone. Everyone had to start somewhere. But i think more people who come together and find each other and find that common ground of wanting to be able to change your perspective and do different things rather than focus on just the negativity in the world. That's what's going to change things overall town. It's so true and it's up each and every one of us To to do news center give Positive example and in time the world definitely look differently in a different way a much. Better way we're nearing the end of our time together and I wanted to ask you. Where can our audience get in touch with you. Find out more about you. Get the book. yes so. My website is really easy. It's dr sturdiness sterling dot com and you can find my book on amazon perfect perfect and What can oregon so find your website. You can find more about how. I work I have i think. I have a video on their I now work with people remotely. So it doesn't matter where he lived in the world It doesn't need to be in person. And i have client testimonials on there as well as a little bit more of a description of my background and the services they offer as well as my book. If you wanna sign copy i also can order for my website. Dot full thank you very much for your time for being here for us and For doing the work that you're doing thank you so much for having me my pleasure. Pay gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been georgia banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

chronic fatigue george bente George bente serena sterling bain Serena badghis teague serena rheumatoid arthritis manhattan flu france tom oregon portland new york london
We Have Everything We Need To Be Grateful & Happy - Tim Young

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

45:47 min | 3 months ago

We Have Everything We Need To Be Grateful & Happy - Tim Young

"I had hot water or this morning for my tap. You realize how amazing that has in the context of human history. You know go back. Two hundred years like five hundred years ago back ten thousand years. Nobody ever had that before they did. They didn't have a tap much less hot water coming from the tap. You know much much less shower. I mean this amazing remarkable stuff that everyone takes for granted we have toilets that flush and then disappear. It's a remarkable remarkable time to be alive but none of us think about that. We take that for granted because well of course we have that. that's already accomplished. now what's the next thing. May i wish. I had hot water demand or i wish i had soler. What are the next thing or whatever and those are all great things we should aspire to achieve but we should be focused on the amazing things that we have. I have shelter that can withstand storms. Yeah i have climate control. I have everything. I could possibly need to make me happy. Thane hugh hugh my own. My heart in q not welcome to the gratitude podcast on www dot. George bente dot com. You'll hear a news story that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of are successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to a new episode of the gratitude podcast. Today we have a person that has a passion in living gratefully and His perspective on gratitude is is quite unique and very personal. He's like. I said very passionate about this topic so passionate that he is on a mission of spreading radic. You'd by wearing gratitude. His name is tim. Young and I'm really happy to have him here. And discuss among god there is wide so difficult for people in the western countries to be grateful. Welcome hey georgia miss. Such a pleasure to be revealed. Mom blazers all mine and Really happy that we we get to have this conversation and I'm really curious where where it will lead so firstly let us know little bit more about you. I i've just scratched the surface and I'm sure you you have much more to share about you and the things you're doing well. I'm from a business point of view. I mean i've had a pretty typical american business background. Guess i spent a lot of my career in corporate america working for big companies. And i started my own business. You know twenty five years ago or so. That was a marketing services agency. And i went from i. I was always successful business. But i was always looking for more meaning in life. And you know i i never found fulfillment in those corporate jobs. Even though they were financially rewarding which are always like chasing the next thing The business model that we have Particularly in america most of capitalism the business model is You've got to achieve better results next year. So the emphasis is always on the next thing on improving and on getting to the next level and i left that world behind back in about two thousand six and did a one eighty. Instead of being in the corporate world Bought some land hundred twenty six acres and started a farm and started producing all kinds of Protein products from grass fed beef to pasture raise chicken later started milking cows and i became an artisan cheesemaker making more kind of classic european style. Cheese is particularly alpine style cheeses like air and some cloth bound cheddar and things like that and that was part of the process of simplifying. Our lifestyle of getting Reconnected with the land of getting away from cities we moved to the country We still live very rurally today. Out in the country on a bunch of land and keep our own animals and spend most of our time. You know surrounded by nature and you know that. That's all helped me really find that. I guess that meaning that. I was looking for of understanding my place in the world. Kind of a strange way of thinking about and. I'm sure you've flown on planes as many times as i have and your listeners. Have you know every time you get on. The plane doesn't matter what city around you know you take off in just within a few seconds. She looked down. And you see the rows of houses in our only takes you a few minutes later to realize how insignificant everything is how everything is just the dot yet in the in the world that we live the fast paced rat race world that most of us live and we all think that everything is so significant is so important In really important to me that i found is just my family. My friends my relationships. The simplicity of life the moments that we live in enjoying those moments every day rather than chasing the next thing. So that's kind of a weird intro to the background of what i've gone through about. My experience has been from the corporate world today. Where i live pretty simple live. I wouldn't call minimalism. Because i don't embrace that. But it is a simple life connected with nature and connected with friends and family to be a default lesbian. I think you've got to really interesting. Point and Is the first time. That i'm actually thinking about this Sexually not our fault. That we That we're always thinking about the next thing and we always want to achieve more because we're just train this way basically and I'm really curious how. How did you manage to Get off this this wheel and Changed this habitation basically because when especially when you're successful and You manage to work harder and to learn more. It's really not that easy to get out of this magazine. Isn't it yeah. It doesn't seem to be because a lot of people struggle with it. And i cannot give you the answer of how. Why did it It things don't happen like there's this Inflection point and you just make a switch things happen in terms of little stepping stones in your life and every step that you take lead you in a direction and sometimes and i kind of make. Decisions vary instinctively. I know what feels right for me. But i made the decision many years ago to leave the corporate job behind and start my own business but what i was looking for at that time. Georgian was was freedom in back then. The way i define freedom will. I don't wanna work for someone else. I wanna have my own thing but after doing that for several years and being successful that is well. I still found that. Okay now. i'm just. I'm trapped in my own business versus being trapped in someone else's business it's still doesn't refer me and so the big thing that bothered me in the jobs that i always had working for fortune. Five hundred company or my own startup was it was really hard for me to explain to my mother or to a five year old kid what i did and that's not because i can't use language is because the corporate jobs can be are very intricate today in very complicated. It's not like the old days. You know the parochial the butcher the baker the candlestick maker. Everybody at a job that you kind of understood. i think. that's what led me to farming. When i started going down that route was i was looking for something that was real something that was understandable and that i thought had more meaning for me when i was in the corporate world which are what i was chasing his money. I i didn't say that. I mean you say things like i want to make a contribution I want to help the company grow. I want to create jobs and all these kind of things. And that's all true but really what you're chasing is the financial reward so that you can get the bigger house of the newer car. Better close Eat at the better restaurant ron's take fancier vacations. Give your kids the best education all those kinds of things. That's really what most people are pursuing. And chasing. And when i when i found moments that i was really happy and and recognize. Well what is it causing me to be happy. It never that stuff was never winning a client. It was always when i was holding my daughter. Or when i was taking a walk my wife or when i was having a real conversation with friends or things like that so when when you have that mom was asian of these are the things that make me. Happy what you realize is wait a minute. The recipe isn't that. I need to make more money so i can get more things than do more stuff. The recipe is. I need to spend less in consumer. Stop being a weapon of mass consumption and start focusing on the things. That really don't cost any money but bring me true joy and happiness in my life and once you when you start going down that path you realize i don't need a bigger house need a smaller house. I don't need new clothes. Come wearing t shirts that you're not happy twenty years you know so you know. You don't need all that stuff you need to. You'll be happier if you focus on the things that truly bring you satisfaction enjoy and realize how fortunate i don't care who you are on the world right now. How fortunate you are has so true. And yeah i think it's. It's amazing that that you're self aware enough to to realize things and Now i think it's very exciting for your question of why isn't hard for people to make the change if you think about it if someone says if someone's listening says yeah. I'd like to simplify my life to in. Think about what gets in the way for them. Well how would they say things. Like i would but have this mortgage or would but heavy's expenses so again. That's my whole. The whole point is we are locked into this lifestyle that almost forces us to go jason the next thing so i could just get out of this hole that i'm in verses we shouldn't have we don't need new cars we don't need you know fancier things we don't need a bigger house you know we don't need all that stuff we can just say i'm gonna start to simplify my life so that what's in my life or the things that are rich that really give me satisfaction. I mean how many of us can look around our house and see so many things that we don't use they just fill space but they don't federalize winnie joy exactly now. I think it's a very important point that We have this tendency to accumulate different things that On some level are trying to fill a void when in fact in my in my experience at least it. It's more about appreciating those things that we already have and Even those things that are not using right now We could be Becoming aware that we that we have and start using them start. Appreciating him Nudge just letting them get dusty. End just Feeling feel the space. But i also wanted to to get to To something that. I think it's very interesting for our listeners. And it is certain certainly for me Where was gratitude on on your journey l. When when did you discover it. I i guess. I discovered i. I think i rediscovered gratitude. Once i started simplifying my life and going down the path of moving out of cities or urban areas and moving to a more rural setting for me. And i know a lot of people you know have gratitude and are very grateful and live in those environments but for me it was getting out of all of that in getting to the essence of what the world really is which is life which is nature Which is you know us individuals just trying to survive and thrive and live so once. I made that switch. I started becoming more aware of what to really how things really work. And how things are really important who you know what's really important out there and it just wasn't the things that i thought before before my life i was chasing accomplishment. You know success barometers That's not the that's that's always forward-looking that's never looking in the moment. When you're in those jobs you never looking in the moment. How do i feel right. Now what am i feeling right now. Grateful for Always in those jobs looking for what. Can i do next month next quarter next year to be able to hit my goals and then when i hit those already thinking about the next quarter of the next month next year so by the time you know you finish that journey. You're old and retired and you've missed your entire life. You haven't really thought of the moment you know it's were you mentioned that we're all kind of part of this system or whatever i mean. We're all products of our environment. So again i you know. My frame of reference is for the most part america. I mean i've traveled extensively throughout europe and i've traveled in number places around the world but make work experiences mainly that and perspective is that of an american. And you know we we all are always chasing the next thing because were products of the capitalistic environment. Which is okay yeah. I've got a car below. The guy next door has got a better car. Maybe i should get a better car. So and so's got a bigger house. Maybe i should get a bigger house. Oh they were wearing a really nice outfit. Maybe i should do the same thing. We always want the next thing and in what that means says is that. We're never focused on what we do. Have were always spoke number. we don't have. that's the way. Capitalism works is for us to get to the next level and have success. We have to focus on. If i only had that next thing versus. Wow i have a house now. Think about it. I think a lot a george in terms of historical context. One of the reasons why they excuse me everybody has. Everybody really should be grateful. Right now. is to be aware where we are throughout human history. I mean i had hot water this morning from my tap. Do you realize how amazing that is in the context of human history. You know go back two years like five hundred years ago back ten thousand years. Nobody ever that before they didn't have tap much less hot water coming from tap much much less a shower. I mean this is amazing. Remarkable stuff that everyone takes for granted we have toilets that flush and then disappear. It's a remarkable remarkable time to be alive but none of us think about that. We take that for granted because well of course we have that. that's already accomplished. Now what's the next thing. May i wish. I had hot water on demand or i wish i had soler. What are the next thing. Whatever and those are all great things we should aspire to achieve but we should be focused on the amazing things we have. I have shelter. that can withstand storms. Yeah i have climate control I have everything. I could possibly need to make me happy. Your mindset is the most powerful. We have gratitude seeker. Wavelength helps you. Approach your health and eating habits from base of self compassion curiosity and strength so that you can hear your relationship to food and your body for good by listening to a daily audio episode. You learn science and psychology behind. You're eating choices and get the tools you need to build healthy habits for life. It takes less than ten minutes a day within one week. Seventy two percent of members feel free from the shame and self blame dieting happier with their eating choices and closer to health goals learn more at wavelength dot live slash gratitude or klay continent. Kim the description our mindset and in these economies and our system if we don't stop it our mindset is i've got to chase the next thing and it takes an effort on our part to recognize. Whoa wait a minute it'd be nice. Maybe if i had the next thing. But i don't need to have you know you know donald trump's money or i don't need to have bill gates money i am fine. I am doing fine. Where i am wherever i am if i have these things exactly and the the funny part is that. It's never enough like we can. We can go on this path and we can We can basically never have enough and even the the richest person on earth can think of another person that has something that they don't tend they can still feel that they don't have enough Or the they're not involved in certain things the so feeling. This is Is never going to stop. Basically i free food going on on this path. That's why i think you just hit the magic answer. If a person you know people start with gratitude they often start with gratitude journals or whatever it hit historic gratitude. They should probably just say to themselves out loud. It will never be enough. 'cause you're right because they're the most powerful people in the world as you've noticed want more power hitting you want more so just say to yourself. It will never be enough when when you say that okay it will never be enough so therefore what is enough and what what is enough is probably what you have doesn't mean and don't don't take it the wrong way doesn't mean that we shouldn't aspire for more things. I'm all for accomplishment. I'm not for you know saying that. Well whatever we got. This is my lot in life. This is okay. that's fine. Try to find ways to improve your life if you want to achieve more things or whatever But don't lose sight of the amazing things that you have right now. You have clean if you have clean water. If you're one of the several billion people in the world who have clean water because there's billions of people who don't have access to clean water right there catcher blessings every single day. I have access to clean water in the history of humanity. That's an amazing thing. You know if you have a patriot with little food in it an amazing thing you know but we just take those things for granted. And that's what's gotta stop. We have to stop taking things for granted and start realizing what would it be like a federal went away. If for whatever reason or if i had been born not now but been born you know three hundred years ago my gosh. What a different life at be. How how if. I could go back to me in seventeen hundred and say hey. Here's what you're going to have in the year twenty twenty one or whatever. You're going to have a house and you're gonna have a stock pantry and you're gonna have a magic faucet that water flows from hot or cope code. The person would think they're gonna be the richest person in the world. That person from that perspective would believe there'd be the richest person in the world. And you're also gonna have internet with connectivity to anything you want to know at any point in time and people around the world that person would want for nothing else. They would have everything but if you take that person in drop lamented twenty. Twenty one where everybody has that. Well now. that's not enough because everybody else has got that. So i need something more. And that's the attitude that i think that s to challenge each of us have is to stop thinking that way and start being grateful for the abundance that we all have exactly exactly and one of the things that i've seen at least in my experience is that at one point the exact life that we're living right now was just a dream a dream even for us. It was just something that we Envisioned and now we're experiencing. And i think just just this idea is quite amazing at least for me when when i think about it and when i realized that the the exact days ram right now and the experiences that i'm having and defined level professional level and Their relationship level and many other things are great in my life right now or that just are Without me appreciating or not appreciating them. I actually dreams come true. And i'm sure that it's the case with many of our listeners. As well i think most of us you know if we stop to think about what you are talking about today will realize we have a lot to be grateful for You know we get trapped in our lives. George and you know we well i have. I have these things i have to do. These commitments these obligations. It's it's incumbent upon all of us if we don't like that in our life to change that to figure out how we can simplify slow down and embrace what to makes us happy. No one's making anybody lived that life that they're living in may feel like at some point to may feel like well. I have to do this thing in order to pay my bills or whatever. But there's always choices. I think the real hard times from all you know of of gratitude is when you is when people and i haven't really experienced these myself but but to be honest about it this is where it gets challenging is when you experience true hardship shipping life in true loss and things that really really devastating in secchi back. That's that's not the case for most of us. Most of us are struggling with well. You know how do i you know. How do i find more time to do two things. I wanna do in my life but sometimes you know you have real hardships in your life in moments of challenge that caused the make it very difficult to on the bright side into and to be grateful but even in those moments you know. I'm i'm very much a black and white person and extremists kind of personality. We have a choice of either to go forward or not. We always have a choice of our. This happened to me this horrible horrible tragedy or event in my life. Whether it's something that's monetarily lost my business or whether it's something You know mortality of loss of a loved one we have. We have to make our choices of now. That i'm here. What do i do. Do i try to find meaning and go forward in spread joy in my life spread joy to others or do i not and we always had these choices to make and so i think what happens to for the most part to all of us in our lives is that we don't make choices. What happens is whatever we did yours today. We do it again today. We continue to work and this was my life was like today. I'm gonna do the same thing. Not because i'm making a conscious choice but because that's my habit so if you want to change your habit you know you have to first start with what you said. If you missed a win will enough be enough. Enough will never be enough. So therefore what do. I want out of life in once. You can articulate that question and answer that question for yourself. I think you can then start to take these steps on stepping stones that might lead you in a direction where you can genuinely be happy almost all the time. Yeah that makes perfect sense and it is a choice But i think the first step is becoming aware of our habits becoming aware of kings that we are doing and asking some questions if that's what we want to continue to be doing or one if we want to change some things and that's why believe in the power of habits and that's why i believe it's so strong and why I want to help our audience create more positive habits because whether we like it or not whether we are aware of it or not we have habits and we have things that we do continuously That are somehow part of who we are but we can cultivate habits. We can cultivate habits that Support us and like you mentioned. It's not about Something that happens Immediately like it's not a decision that you take by tomorrow and you have effects immediately but it's something that in time leads you on a different path and in different directions life and i think That's what we all want in In our future and the beautiful part is that we can create an even better future by appreciating. The the president and i think that's a really beautiful combination and it's really not dependent as much on the future as it is in the in the example that That you talked about nets always going to be something in the future but that Positive result will come. But it's really it really doesn't matter whether it will be it will come or not because you're either way you're contempt. You're either way you're grateful. And i think that's a really beautiful place to be in. Isn't it giving give support someone. Dear to your heart can be a real blessing woohoo. You made it very simple for you to offer a memorable give that your loved. One will surely cherish for the rest of their life. Help him or her feel appreciated in value right now. They might need more than you think. Go to georgia and banta dot com slash woohoo or visit lincoln. The description to find out more it is. I mean when we talk about gratitude. what what i think. We're after his happiness enjoy and so every day people should ask themselves well. How how much of my day today was. I truly happy you know. What percentage of my time today was. I truly happy. And that's a different answer for everyone. But i can tell you you know i spend you know. Ninety percent of my days truly happy. And that's that's a life that i engineered. It's a simple life. That i've engineer we home school my daughter in the next room. My wife and i are here all the time you know as horrible. This copeland was last year for so many people have basically had no impact on us because we were already home all the time anyway so we couldn't go with him whenever go anywhere for the most part and we were already homeschooling. You know so you can. You should ask yourself. How much of your days in moments are you really enjoying. And hopefully the answer is a large majority. But if it's not why are you doing what you're doing. Why why do why does anyone wanna go through. Life not feeling happy. It's such a good question. I think and i think and i think we feel that we don't have options sometimes towards an just like you know you after your long walk when you were at your crossroads came back and said you know i'm gonna leave. Leave this business. That i'm in you know i'm going to go do something different. There was a choice she made. That was a stepping stone for you. That led you in a direction or you're now leading at for more fulfilling a happier life but that wasn't an accident you didn't get. It was not like okay. Well something happened to you and here you are. That was you thinking about what's not right in my life. In what direction can i move in to maybe with me closer to our wanna-be and we all have the opportunity to make those kinds of choices but it starts with that awareness of okay. What's missing my life now What truly makes me happy. How do i get more of that. And by the way. If you're the kind of person would what truly gets makes you. Happy is closing more deals and making more money than by all means. Keep doing what you're doing that's fine. That's that is something that that makes a lot of people genuinely happy. It just wasn't the soul satisfying for me. It's not what i wanted but it but it may be for some people so find that happy spot for you. Happy spot for me was in maximizing my time with my family in living simply But the answer will be different for every person at such a great point up the fact that you mentioned that because Yeah i think it's that's why self awareness is important because when you Can be aware enough to be with yourself and not be influenced by By other external circumstances and realize what actually makes you happy. what what actually Makes your heart sing. That's that's what's most important and Yeah for some people Achievement in in different ways is is there the way of feeling happy. And that's that's perfect and I think it's like you said most the most important part is becoming aware of what that is for you and Yeah making a choice. So i really loved that perspective. It's it's so important and it's so powerful wants you Attuned to it and you become more aware of these things. I think it's it makes a really big difference and also on it to ask you about Something that You're doing right now. I you are passionate about living gratefully but he also started to put this mission into practice. This mission of spreading gratitude. How did that get born. And where is it right now. Yeah i'm as. I mentioned we home school our daughter and so my wife does a lot more of that than i do. She does monday through thursday. And i do every friday and One of the objectives. I have with my daughter. She's Which in the third grade this year she was eight years old one of the objectively i have is to teach her the skills to become entrepreneurial to by the time she's grown to at least have in the knowledge that she wanted to start our own business she would know how to start your own business but the way we start our friday mornings together when i teach her first thing we do. Is we go to our gratitude tree now. This is simply a tree that i painted on a wall in my office with bare branches. And then i cut out some cutter leaves that we have on the table so every friday morning she and i sit there and we write down what we're feeling grateful for now. This isn't a this is an opportunity for me to instill in her sense of gratitude and to help her realize how many wonderful things she has in her life that she might not be thinking about so you know. She writes these things every week. We put up there and of course now. The school season is over. I have a whole wall full of gratitude notes. Look at well back a few months ago In very early twenty twenty one We were sitting here just after we finish the greenwich tree and the class. That morning i wanted to teach her how to come up with an idea for a business. So what i had done was. I created a simple Tim question business plan template for her perfect for third grader. And we had a discussion about well. How do you start a business in extorts with you know coming up with an idea for business and then of course you've got to act on the idea and so one so the idea had us. I want to come up with an idea for us to have a business that we could do as a family. Mommy you and mom and so we talked about it and we kicked around all kinds of different ideas. I mean of mention that you know we have some farm experience. Of course like all kids he thinks it. I about selling farm animals or maybe also chicken director those kinds of things but then we started listening our criteria and we wanted it to be a business that we could do from anywhere that we're not tied physically to a location. You know like a product like that would require us to be and since we had just finished our gratitude tree. We talked about how we feel when we express gratitude. And when you. And i'm sure you've found the same thing george and when you when you when you genuinely express gratitude. It's impossible to not feel joyful and happy you feel so content you know when you're truly grateful about something and so our idea was our first impulse was is there a business idea. We can come up with will. We can spread that feeling and help other. People feel the same way we feel so that led to this idea of starting a an apparel business. A t shirt business primarily but we also do mugs and bags and things like that too but the idea was to come up with inspiring messages of gratitude of joy of happiness. So if you're wearing these around if you're wearing a shirt that has these messages in you encounter other people that's a conversation starter for you. People see that you can have a conversation about why you're feeling this way you can help other people feel that way the same way you know jordan. You're trying your podcast. Which hundred thousand people are idea is can. Can we do that to a payroll get people everywhere to be focusing on kindness and happiness and joy and gratitude and thankfulness in feeling grateful so that led to the idea of gratitude garb Of course being a slang word for clothing and by the way it's a business idea a business name that my eight year old daughter absolutely hates because for some reason she thinks garbs likely you know a yucky word or whatever but we had the idea for this business. Gratitude guard dot com We've now and hundreds of designs for different apparel for church things and yeah. The the idea is to You know help people to realize that they're grateful that they have a lot to be four and the spread that message as far and wide as it can. That's wonderful. I think like Since we're wearing clothes it's it's great that we find some that really resonate with who we are and with what we want to do in the world and similar to music. If we're listening to songs in in my in my opinion it's always great to be aware of the songs and the lyrics that were listening to because of course inferences send They have an impact one way or another and it's it's similar to the clothes that we wear and the impact we want to have on the world. We the clothes that we wear. So i think it's a great idea. And i'm all about spreading gratitude and i think it's very important for for all of us to learn about gratitude and especially From them from the perspective of doing this internally rather than doing this because someone told us that we should be grateful. I in in my opinion. That's one one of the worst ideas do Shame people into feeling gratitude into feeling grateful and when we are spreading gratitude like coming from the side and inspiring other people. How we this. I think it's it's a really great idea. Yeah yeah it's a terrible idea to shame people when feeling anything it goes. It goes the opposite of what gratitude is. All about. what we're talking about is really trying to create a kinder world a more content world and You know if you if you have that feeling you wanna spread it. You don't want to force it on anybody but you want to help. People who there are a lot of people that are obviously struggling to feel grateful. This is why gratitude journals sell so much. You know if you go look at do. A search on gratitude journal journal in any online bookstore and you're gonna see thousands and thousands of reviews and people are trying these things. Why is that because they recognize that they don't feel grateful enough. They recognize as a positive correlation with happiness if they do feel more grateful and they're looking for instruments and tools to help them achieve that feeling. But i don't i mean then that's fine for gratitude. Journal works for them that works for many people but for me gratitude journals. Don't work for me. What works is just having a really grounded sense of my place in history of you know how lucky we all were are to have been born right now when we are you know who and where we are to have the things that we have You know there's no guarantee we're going to have these things. Tomorrow is no guarantee. We're going to have electricity tomorrow. There's no guarantee we're gonna have hot water tomorrow or any of these things. I mean things can happen. Solar flares can happen. Emp's can happen worse can happen. you know. just because they haven't happened recently doesn't mean they can't happen so you know there's a lot to be grateful for and i try to never lose that and i hope that other people can learn to adopt that same feeling. Yeah and not. Losing sight of that is done beautifully through wearing This kinds of Closed that reminds of Gratitude because we we need that we need to be reminded of of this because at the same time we have a lot of Input from society and from different places that it's that not enough that were probably not good enough or not wealthy enough or many things of this nature and finding ways to remind ourselves that we are enough and we Have enough to be grateful. I think that's that's very important and you will find the link in the description So that you can go in and grab some Some parral from dame can you tell us what our audience can find in your shop It mainly it's t shirts men's t shirts. It's women's shirt urged its long sleeve shirts hoodies. There's also a coffee mugs. There's water bottles tote bags Anything that relates to gratitude. And one thing. I didn't mention When we got to question number ten on the question business plan that i gave my daughter at the question. I asked her is okay. What about the money that we make from this. If we make money what are we gonna do with the money In what we agreed we wanted to do is raise money for a cause that we believe dead and caused that we chose is a disease called. Cystic fibrosis which isn't as widely understood as it should be but we have friends who are could with us and You know many people around the world are and so twenty percent of our prophets that we raise for pretty smart business. Go to the cystic fibrosis foundation. That's wonderful and i love what you're doing While you're doing this and the fact that this is Part of dedication of of your daughters Education and i think this is the best way to learn by doing and yeah It's it's definitely beautiful to to have this inc being generous while you're You're creating a business is something wonderful. Land totally in tune with down the values of of gratitude. So thank you very much name for For being here with us. I will pose the lincoln. The description So that are against can. can get The many types of clothes that you that you have their Basically you can get even masks so You can get almost anything you can wear gratitude from Starting from t shirts to who these and even mass so i think. That's that's amazing. Well thank you georgian. And i really appreciate what you're doing your podcast to spread this kindness. Instant message of gratitude far and wide as well. Thank you thank you very much for for your time and For the work that you're doing and for The way you're at educating daughter. I actually. It's it's really inspiring. Hey gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been george banta though. Forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

soler Thane hugh hugh George bente Bente radic winnie joy america blazers georgia tim donald trump ron bill gates jason Kim europe copeland
From Nearly Ending Her Life To A Life Of Appreciation - Amanda Webster

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

36:33 min | 1 year ago

From Nearly Ending Her Life To A Life Of Appreciation - Amanda Webster

"I was at a rock bottom place in my saying that gratitude completely healed me no absolutely not but it was a super important component to my journey to sing my life differently. Living my life differently to finding more happy moments through highlife. None of us are going to be happy all the time and things. Don't get at other people but I feel. I stopped struggling so much when I start attaching myself to be outcome and I started enjoying things on a day to day basis started joining this. Dhakal slaughter started joining those roses. I started enjoying the clouds. I started a joy just sitting around not doing anything because or he might be not doing. We're not supposed to be doing things all the time sometimes sitting and smelling the air smelling candle eating smoothly having some tea sometimes those little things in life are the only thing that we should be doing. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on www dot. George Bente DOT com. You'll hear a news story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people. Discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast Jordan Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to new episode of the gratitude. Podcast today with me. We have Amanda Webster. She is a circle of joy award winner and Um she's going to talk a little bit about her process with gratitude. What she does do To keep this good habit and I'm sure that will get into some really really interesting stories as well. Amanda Wilkinson Aggressive podcast. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on today. I am grateful to be here. My pleasure my pleasure. Thank you for for here and Thank you for like really being here and being so present. I I really appreciate that. Thank you so let us know little bit more about you. I know that you've had quite a quite a life changing experience a few years ago. I think that would be something really interesting for our audience to to know as well. Yes I stumbled across the Tude sixty five ask when I was very very dark place in my life. I nearly took my life in the fall of two thousand eighteen in a Canadian hotel room. I was on the Ledge. I was ready to John and Assam played at the right place at the right time. And that's what brought me down but in the weeks that followed. I have no idea where to go. I been guinea pigs on medications for decades. I gone through the therapists. I eat salads. Done the yoga read to self help books and I just didn't really know the first step to take in getting out of this dark night as I call it and when my friend suggested the gratitude out to me. I was so irritated at her because I thought to myself. How dare you think that it's so simple to get out of something like this with just saying? Oh? I'm grateful for my house in grateful for my son grateful for my life. Of course I'm grateful for those things but I was in such a bad place that everything just seemed to weigh me down rated. The world was on my shoulders and I didn't know how to refrain money and my lifestyle to get out of that. Well that that's quite quite an experience and I'm sure that it it wasn't easy to to just do to want to try. Thou did did he or she convinced you to try out or did you feel open or you said okay. Let's let's just try this gratitude thing to be honest after coming down from the ledge. I came inside. I cried a lot. I got arrested. Holy no sitting there thinking why not happy. I have so much to be happy for her and I told myself you know what I'm GonNa give it everything I have for one year in the end of that one year. I still feel this desolate in this stark and this coal in place in my mind I gave myself permission to jokes now before you freak out if you have. Obviously it's been more than a year but I really just knew that I had to give it all that I had that moment. And what's another year right when you feel like you're rock-bottom what's another year so the gadget after something that I rated into my life at that time just hoping for a little extra boost truthfully? I didn't expect it to be a life altering experience and I'm not saying that just as gratitude upstate. My life was definitely mixture of a lot of things. But reframing thoughts reframing the way you see things I remember reading Will change change in lives and at the time it was one of those self I tried to read rolled. My eyes third across gathered dust for a long time but when I really started to think about his right the reason that we feel so heavy as one of my favorite Lincoln parks on obsessed. I felt so heavy because I had a really crappy outlook on life like I before. It's not that I wasn't grateful for the things that I have. But we don't realize what we have number one until about to lose it and when you stand on a ledge and you know you're at your wit's end and you know that you're absolutely everything from your perspective starts to change and for me. That was my turning point where I realized I have to change my life. I have to cuts and I started doing that. I really liked the props. Because it's really easy to say okay. Embry FOR MASON UNGRATEFUL FOR FOOD UNGRATEFUL FOR MY car. Of course we're grateful for the things that's awesome to be grateful of these things as well but when you really start thinking like today might might cross was had to do the frank and she always looked at the positive side of things and honestly the positive side of things. There is no excuse for the rest of hiding it added from Nazis as she can look at the positive side of life knowing that it could be over at any given moment. That doesn't powerful for the rest of us and I just enjoy having those trump's to Kenya different thing to think about really quickly. Run out things to be great for four closely. Don't really stop to think. And I've noticed since I started doing it. I've been doing it well. Over a year of consecutive now ends. I noticed I started doing it that I started noticing the little thing the other day for example. I was with a rescue dog. I deduct rescue and I was in the rescue dog and we were walking around and I saw there was this need will be considered on the ground and it rained a little bit and their release literal drops of water on the on the weed on the planet and they look like little diamonds and. I had never attention to that. Restock right looks. That's myself own my goodness. It's so beautiful. I never would have stopped to see this before and not a bike ride is my son yesterday and we came across Dr Rubin had currently six different colored roses and I just stood there with my son by our bikes staring at these different roses. Or just laying on the grass and once they start referring minds to be more grateful. I found thanks to be grateful for and that was really powerful for me now. At the beginning I struggled so hard to put three things in that every day. Because it would tell you to put three things out. It was hard for me to say because I didn't WANNA get repetitive. Now I can appreciate that. That song I really love came on at the gym or the dining lake water droplets on the on the planet and I am so appreciative too. You Secrete. There's this Africa just for. Everyone helped me my journey to going from rock bottom ready to in my life to being a place of enjoying the beauty of enjoying nature and I just made a youtube video day about other. Is One of the Suggestions Bananas? Making horse noticing clouds when you're feeling really stressed overwhelmed. Just going outside either listening to the birds or looking at the clouds because you can always find something ridiculous in the clouds guy in two thousand eleven when I was in Hawaii British guy and we were walking along. The beach will never forget looking up and seeing a leprechaun cellphone. This is a memory I have of this guy. I was in well why it is gorgeous beach to the memory. I have is staring at that cloud in seeing the Leprechaun with a cell phone and sometimes when I'm feeling really overwhelmed my head I just thought sci-fi ridiculous things I can find its own They roll their eyes. Oh my God Amanda which as we grow up. We stopped playing joining you. Start looking for the stunning life. And it's all about all. I have to get to work on. Time in Atlanta hip. It's deadline and do this. I have to bed. Mike have to get dressed and then do his homework. And there's no time just enjoying fun. I feel like more. You really focus on gratitude. The more you want to find those things and I seek them out and I actively seek out. What good can I find right now? What's good what's beautiful? What's happening today? Even having a bad day is sleep at all last night because I don't know if you can tell him I waste. I got a little bit sick option but this morning said Noah maybe I just need a data reps maybe this universal way of getting a day to just lay in bed watching my soap opera and watch the French youtube videos. Maybe this is just a day for myself and I was able to refrain that and be more grateful or a couple of last week. Actually I my car ran out of gas and I call AAA AAA said. They'd either in fifteen minutes. Well we all know that. That's never accurate and it took them an hour to get there so. I stuck side of the road. I have no idea what to do. My phone is at three percents so I said you know. I guess the inverse to do my yoga literally day. I stood beside the road in a yoga practice by broken down car. Not Giving a crab. Would anybody driving by army thinking? This is my moment. I don't care what they think because I'm gonNA find a way to stints. And if they are jealous because they will be having a low down right now they were broken down alongside the road and I know that at one point the Dow police. It netted cry without my phone ends. Immediate service this. This is very inspiring and I am sure that so my perspective on this. Is that most probably many of the drivers that that were passing by were actually inspired by. Send date maybe. They thought that they should make some time to do the yoga. Our if they don't have the time it's you can do it anywhere and I think that that's amazing. I when I when I see these kinds of people that are able to this like like yourself that are able to make the best of a situation and to be An example for for the rest of US I get inspired and I think that's amazing because many times we just need to see someone someone. That's crazy enough to do something like this for us to get to get the idea of doing the same thing you know. Yeah that's kind of what I aim to do is just not only live pictures but inspire others to live there because there was a time I would have looked at that person beside the enrolled. My is increasing that job but deep inside I would have wished that I had that kind of that kind of personality. Didn't care one of the people socks and develop that more now through my life You got to practice but I liked that you touched on the. I don't have enough time because I think that that's an excuse mixed so often in our society and I remember a few weeks ago as a friend and she asked me how you have so much time to everything you do because I run a business where I coached people and help them. Bridge the gap between mental and physical health. I do dogmas few on the Arizona. Chapter leader these girls and we so useful hygiene kits for girls impoverished countries among tonight year old. I have a lot of different going on. I just finished reading a book and make sense. And how do you have time for all of these things and I said I make time because I'm not sitting there scrolling my social media feed and I'm not sitting there watching eight episodes of Netflix? I Love Lucifer in Thomas just as much as the next person but I don't need wash neck night episodes tonight and I said everyone has really depends on how you choose to spend that time and she said no no I. I just don't have enough time. I have three kids. I have this I that you trust me. She said you have question my best friend. We've known each other for decades or so a second phone so she guessing her phone and I opened her instagram. You can actually track how much time you've spent on instagram. That will tell you how much timing system that day and she spent two hours and forty-five minutes on instagram. I said how much workout could you have done this time? How many sessions have saved you a lingo? Could you had countries wanting to learn Spanish and I learning French the past couple years humanitarian work and I said you could have done several lessons. You could have done your work out. You could have made time for these things but you chose to scroll on your social media. It has nothing to do with not having time. It has to do with how you take your time. And that's not saying you can't get on like I said watching that show or watch youtube videos even look on social media but if you're the more respect in time on social media the blessed grateful we tend to be then we start comparing ourselves to other people. That person got go on his trip. That person got to have a baby. That person got eat at two hundred dollar restaurant that person close and we start to become less grateful for the things we have exactly exactly and the sad part about. This is that usually we're not that aware is. I don't know how other people work but usually when I go on social media. It's not when when I'm at my best like I when I'm tired and I just don't want to think about stuff or just. I don't mind mindless some mindless crawling or something and in those moments we don't feel as good about ourselves as we could and We get influenced and we're not very self aware and we wear influenced when we see those those things like you're saying that somebody's getting married or are going to really expensive restaurant or they're doing all kinds of things and they're they're really not helping us much and yeah when we forget in those moments the the amazing thing is that we have in our life and That's that's the sad part that we we tend to focus too much on other people's lives and other people's I Dunno great experiences highlights But the one thing that we could do is to be as self aware as possible and find a way to to see those things. Like for instance I've been to Bali and they loved it and They are some friends that went to Bali valent When I looked at their facebook they were posting all kinds of pictures and writing things for me. It was That's interesting I didn't go there I could go their next time. That's so cool for him or her that They were they were there. That's that's so cool. I could go there as well like to frame it in a positive way. Like it's something that's possible for yourself as well and I think that's that's a very important part of if we're on social media just due to find a way to frame it in a positive way consciously because otherwise. It's really not not to vase for us for our mental health and for our happiness in general I think one of the best adult decisions made. There's actually an application browser extension application. You download the blocks your feed on facebook so that we could still get. Aren't even check your messages. You can talk to your friends. If you want to go to their page you can go check up on your friends but you're not constantly bombarded with all these political of as you're not constantly bombarded with all of us. Oh look who's going on vacation. I think that super powerful because I agree that you can either be jealous or you can take action so that you can do those things you WanNa do and I remember in two thousand dollars two thousand thirteen. I was talking to a friend in a life. Coaching classes I took and I was a single mom had hardly any money. No resources works from home and I said I really WANNA travel in. Just watch the movie. Yes man of John Kerry. I don't know if you've ever seen it really love seven be inspired me to start saying yes to life and not only sing like looking for opportunities Ashley. Cain and when I started Tied together it was so awesome and after talking to her. I feel like I os manifested always crazy opportunities to me. It's my life because the year after that I went to London Paris Rome Iceland Mexico and Hawaii. I believe that year and I met several of the people that were on. It was neat. I did all of these crazy. Things had all these crazy. Experiences went skydiving. I pretty much had my guest Nam Nam and it was so awful because I stopped making excuses. Csi was a single mom. No I didn't have a lot of money but I said this is what I want and somehow I need I was always told growing up. That wasn't good enough to skinny skinny announce I was appalling. Up Site was a pre enough Dig Right close. I was bullied a lot in school. And I. I shot play but I didn't Ziems I've had writing published in Actually be published in strong Austrailia. This summer backs And I feel like I live my life by my dad's advice to prove them wrong. That if people tell you that you catch something you really WanNa do. Let that drag proven wrong. Instead of driving you to the united like you said you can sit there go. Look this person like Bali I did. He gets to see this or you can say hey. I'm going to go to Bali next time. I'm GonNa see this and then you're bringing that into your life. If that makes sense I feel like you're you're stating this is going to happen for me. And anybody that knows me and follows me associated That's my friend knows. I have had decrees easiest experiences that nobody ever thought was possible. I actually had my child hero one of my life. I have been crushed. He owned wrestling organization Watching the deputy wrestling which was where Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy savage all the big names wrestle he owned wrestling organization. Unfortunately my dad asks for two thousand five when I got married a year so I have to walk me John Gato. I meeting the sky asks a conviction for some reason my friend message the next day instead. I work with his wife in what I said that he's GonNa Stand up for my dad. One chance at the celebrity well off person would take time to come to my wedding. Eric Bischoff me down the aisle my wording my hero my first crush lines little girl. That wasn't amputated dark People say how come I said because I don't believe you when you told me I can't this episode of the gratitude. Podcast is supported by multiple. Ever wanted to read a book didn't have the time. Well that happened to me. Too WITH RICK. Hansen's book hard wiring happiness. It's not assured book and I have lots on my plate but thankfully I found a book on audible. It's easy to listen. I listened to chapters like I'm listening to a podcast so it's much easier to digest and more realistic to listen to all of it is read by the author in a calm soothing. Voice much like mine and that helped me better understand what he was trying to say in his book. Rick Hansen acclaimed. Clinical psychologists shows us how to override the brain's default pessimism. There are thousands of other titles that you can listen to using the time you already have at home on the go at work and audible is the leading provider of spoken word entertainment and audiobooks ranging from bestsellers to celebrity Memoirs News Business and Sell Development. Every month members get one credit to pick any title plus to audible originals from monthly selection and access to Daily News digests as well as guided Meditation Program Visit Audible Dot Com slash gratitude or tax gratitude to five hundred. Five hundred and get a free audiobook that's audible dot com slash gratitude or just ex gratitude to five hundred five hundred beautiful. Yeah that's so true and indeed. It's no nobody can tell us what we can or cannot do. I think curiosities very powerful here to just be curious. Let's just play Legisi if this works out. If I can do this or not not not like okay. I have to do this and that. That's that's my perspective just to play with it and many times at least in my experience it might take a bit longer than expected but most of the things actually actually become reality especially if you are Practicing Radicchio than that actually league gets you closer to to what you want. Because this is what you're focusing on and it's really simple like of course it makes makes for things to go faster into Get faster in your life when you appreciate things in general. Do you focus on the things that you appreciate but I also on it to To share another idea both social media that the the gratitude three sixty five APP also has some Basically a like a facebook coroner instagram ads just for granted. And I think that's that's a great opportunity is well. It really is sometimes when I get that urge to scrawl things. I'll go on there instead of going on instagram. Because I never come off of instagram feeling. Good and one of my secrets to being a grown up on my secrets today learn is there's never anything of value in the comment section ever. There's never anything of value in the commerce section on Youtube Video. Nobody's effort shaved. Lithuania asked has anybody ever posted on your facebook page and said the way you think is raw and you said Oh. Wow I never thought of it that way. The Way I think is wrong. Let me just jump right up with what you say. That doesn't get on her keyboards. And we we feel like we're on some 'cause we're on some crusade and we actually the out there making a difference. We could actually be delayed each other out like the gratitude APP. The community that you're talking about it's awesome. Were on their building their upstate watts beautiful. Good job congratulations. Not Arguing each other. What we gave the president or arguing over policies and whatnot. I that is so stressful to me and I am so such media while back my son and I we went and got a manicure because there's a new Polish Lincoln Park and investigated fans of bands. And my son wanted to get a manicure. Sue Cool coastal picture. Who's getting manicure on social media and this woman logon and told me that I worship the devil and that I was a terrible parents and all of these horrific My son getting a managed care together and I think that was my turning. Weights of where this negatively by the way people been thirty two hundred BC babylonia painted. Their nails as status class has nothing to do with worshiping some devil figure or which half or anything like that. It's been a status thing throughout history. Several Times I just don't understand how things on social media can get so out of hand and so negative even when you don't mean it that way. Somebody can get by her over the civilised of things the craziest things and I mostly use my social out to stay connected with my friends or to post inspirational things on my instagram. Manda Webster Health. I posed vegan. Recipes oppose the charity. Work I do. I close my fitness pictures. Inspire people get other. I Post quotes about about how to heal mentally without day on medications in spending your life reading self help books and doing a yoga class wants to refrain months and one of the things. I was wearing coats. Sweep that hastert. Gratitude says the struggle ends when gratitude begins and that was super powerful for me. I want to share that with my people. Because it's true I was at a rock bottom place in my saying that gratitude completely healed me no absolutely not but it was a super important component to my journey to sing my life differently. Living my life differently to finding more happy moments through highlife. None of us are going to be happy all the time and six of us. Don't get at the other people got I feel like I stopped struggling so much when I stopped attaching myself to be outcome and I started enjoying things on a day to day basis. I started enjoying the water started joining those roses. I started enjoying the clouds. I A joy just sitting around not doing anything because or human beings not doing. We're not supposed to be doing things all the time. Sometimes sitting and smelling the air snowing candle eating via smoothing having some tea sometimes those little things in life. I think that we should be doing so true. That's so true and the thing is that at least what I've seen in my case we we get addicted to doing things and to just okay. I managed to solve this problem. I managed to solve the other problem. I have to do this. I have to do that. I have to do that. And we especially when when we have a sense of satisfaction with this pretend to want to to do more and to be all the time in action or especially another station when it comes to the people near and dear to us The fact that we are able to do so many things is actually addictive. And we don't realize that because we are so much Do are so focused on on those things but When it comes to at the end of the day to to actually see okay. How much was enjoying everything? How how happy was doing all of those things and ref- what are some some moments that were that were great or some moments in which I paused and realized what was happening and appreciating what was happening and unfortunately many times? There aren't too many of those moments. And like you said just for instance you you remembered the fact that you start then you look at that that drop or at those roses or those small things if we give them more depth and we appreciate the more they they can mean so much and they. They don't have to be big they don't have to be either. No just doing something out of the ordinary our lives to to have that amazing feeling of gratitude and I think that that's such a great example and above the clouds. That's you you. You just pointed the thing that pointed out the thing that I also with a lot. I loved the clouds and a when I was a child. I used to just sit on on In the yard on on the grass than just look at the clouds and imagine what they are and it was so. That's that's such a strong memory for me and it was so so fulfilling and so beautiful and again it was so simple and it's and it's something that I still love to do when whenever I'm traveling for instance I love to look at the clouds as well. Even when I'm walking around in the city I look at the clouds and I think it's one important thing to just at times. Just take. Our head nudges looked down or On things that are happening at I level but we can raise our head and just look at the clouds and have different kinds of perspective on on life. Yeah and I think if I can leave listeners with two pieces of advice one would be whatever you did as a kid. Whatever you enjoyed during the kids if you liked lanes during the clouds me I like the clouds. I like playing with Ninja Turtles. I liked some of these older. Tv shows those things that you likes to kid. You'll still enjoy if you let yourself. And sometimes just taking thirty minutes to play with an editorial look at the clouds too indulgent piece of candy without feeling guilty about it sometimes. That is exactly what our needs to move forward. And I'm always grateful for those moments that I get to compete to be a kid again. Maybe I just want to write a story for no reason other than just writing story by all this kid. I still enjoy if I let myself in my other advices personal addicted to getting things done because like I said I have a lot of different projects a lot of things going on in my life and I would have a mile long to do list and then I feel guilty. If I didn't get all twenty two things done on my list that day and I finally said I have three to five. Things are my to do now. Not including the things you have to do with eating going to the gym or whatever. I consider those things that I asked you every day. But that's five on your taxes or paying that bill or doing the extra saying let's be real. Nobody really wants to do. Maybe for some people. It is going to the gym. That might be something but some people have to get into the habit of that was another thing that really helps me. It was just being active. Necessarily the jump is being actively helped me be more balanced mentally grateful three to five things a day. You should have more on your plate then. Three to five saint's a day other than the bare necessities that you have to do on a day to day basis. That is my advice. That really helps me. Stop trying to overload myself because ninety eight percent in time those things on our list. We don't have to do all that day. But we're telling ourselves whites get everything done right now right now and you really don't and you're going to stress yourself up more not enjoy the process doing these things changing role in. What's exactly exactly I love. I love what you just said. Then I think they are great Takeaways for our listeners. And you are very inspired because we are actually nearing the end of our time together. So let us know little bit more about. Where can our audience fine you? Where can they get in touch with you? Yes so I have instagram youtube website. So you can check me out on instagram. Amanda Webster Health or YouTube dot com slash and webster or simply just Amanda Webster Helps Dot Com. I love to enact people love to talk about what's good in our lives or sometimes help people through their dark tires Let's be real. Sometimes we do need a hand was our that our place. I know I definitely beheads beyond that dark place than I found it in several different places that I never expected. I love connecting with New People. So if you defended inspiring you're looking for advice. Hansa hold or someone to high five awesome mortgages for being strong today checking on instagram or excites and videos have a lot to do with mental health addiction gratitude in bridging the gap between mental and physical health. I'm also launching a program this going to tie in all of the things that I read it into my life since March march I that will tight all the things I incorporated in my life to go from being on that legend. That Canadian hotel room to being for the first time genuinely happy in facilities and being able to be grateful for that drop of water and relaunched that program much worse so people can register now they can subscribe now to get updates on that S and I look forward to talk to everyone. Some thank you so much. Thank you pay gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been Georgia Banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

youtube instagram facebook Amanda Webster Bali Amanda Wilkinson Hawaii Jordan Bente George Bente Africa Tude Um Lincoln Kenya John John Kerry Austrailia Eric Bischoff Amanda
How Gratitude Builds Neural Pathways To Happiness - Jane Tornatore PhD

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

37:39 min | 1 year ago

How Gratitude Builds Neural Pathways To Happiness - Jane Tornatore PhD

"Let Me Tell You. About one. Of the ultimate life hacks. It's hard to find the time to sit down and read and learn more. When you don't have the free time you can read the work on personnel evolvement. There is an incredible APP that solves this problem and they highly recommended. It's called blinking blinking. This really unique and it works on your phone. Your tablet or your web browser blink. His stakes best key takeaways. The need to know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condenses them down into just fifteen minutes that you can read or listen to twelve million people are using it right now and it has a massive and growing library. Thanks to blink. Here's I finally got to regain Hendricks book the Big Leap. Conquer Your Hidden. Fear and take life to the next level. The book my friend and former guests on the gratitude. Podcast recommended with blinking. You get unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condensed nonfiction books all the books you want and all for one low price right now for a limited time. Blinking has a special offer just for our audience. Go TO BLINK DOT COM Slash Grad. Jude tried free for seven days and save twenty five percent of your new subscription. That's blink kissed spelled B. L. I. N. K. I S. T. blankets dot com slash gratitude. To Start Your Free seven-day trial and you'll also save twenty five percent but only when you're signing up at blankets dot com slash gratitude. A simple little tools like when I work with my clients. Give them very simple. Tools is nothing super complicated because what I realized is like the gratitude practice it seems super simple on the surface like opium feel grateful but when we do it. We're putting multiple. Parts of our brain to work are conscious or unconscious. And so you know these practices have much bigger fact and we can even understand or realize just like the you know. We're not going out there going. I'M GONNA look for my new car every moment of the day. Our brain just does it so the simple things are so profound and worked on so many levels. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot. George Bente Dot com where you'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast Georgia Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to new episode of the gratitude. Podcast today with us. We have an amazing woman. She studied mental health in Europe listed and She's such an amazing amazingly positive person. I just love her vibe and I'm really happy to have her on and to chat that little bit about gratitude and Also I think we'll go a little bit into self acceptance. Her name is Jane Doe Ray Beige or Tornatore if you Won The name in English and She is a and Her superpower is using her extensive training and wide-ranging life experiences to help people realign their brain brain patterns to release unnecessary stress and increased self acceptance and kindness. Amazing Jane Welcome to the gratitude. Podcast thank you so much George John. I really appreciate being on. Also it's a real real pleasure to have you on then. I'm really curious where our conversation will lead to. Actually let us knowledge of bit about you or a little bit more about you and also we will get into how you define gratitude and how you experience it personally okay. Well let's see I. I grew up in a family that didn't feel super safe. And so I learned how not to feel grateful and I learned to be scared a lot of the time and you know my family was very loving but you know like many families we had some. Yes some issues so It at one point in my life I realized that most of my focus was what was wrong. What I didn't have What was wrong with me? I didn't feel lovable. Nobody was loving me enough and I decided actually it was through a to help me with work and to have a sense of having enough money that I developed a gratitude practice and since then it's life hasn't gotten like magically good and perfect but I am so much safer and at peace and happier with life as it is here. Not I've I've my down days. You know believe me but In general unlike you know I'm okay. You know this is happening you. I'm still okay and it'll probably change because it always does so. Gratitude has changed for me how I am in my life and I think my struggles when I was younger for helping me because the struggles really helped me appreciate who I am. Now and the life. I've chosen to live now that really that really resonates with me and When when you think about it it's such a simple thing to do and We tend to to not do it because it's because it's so simple and I wanted to do to go into something a little bit deeper From what I know when it comes to the feeling of safety our our brain actually is looking for safety and is looking for ways of making us of making sure that we survive and right Not Not so much It doesn't focus as much on naturally on the things that are good because they don't have much value when it comes to survival. Yeah they won't kill us so let's go a little bit deeper in into this topic like why. Why are we doing this to ourselves? I quite why do we keep ourselves in this in this kind of state and How how can we Get Out of this situation. You're exactly right our brain doesn't are. I like to talk about the ego. Not In the way. Freud did it but just in my my own version of the EGO and basically in my view are egos job is to keep us alive of us as you said. It's it doesn't care if we thrive it just wants is to stay alive And there's some There's some that believe that the newest part of our brain the neo cortex is where the egos based in the neo. Cortex is job is to basically search for what's wrong search for danger searched for stuff to fix like it's when unless we're like you know what they call in the flow were actively engaged in. We're totally in the moment. And we aren't having thoughts outside the moment. Which is you know. Pretty Rare I got it when I'm in conversation with people or I'm Or in the water either. One make me happy but when we're not in the flow. Our brain is literally searching for problems. So it's in in. Having a gratitude. Practice is choosing to make a like a thought interrupt because our brain naturally searched Problems You know there is a theory that like you know. Most of our thoughts are repetitive. Like eighty something like eighty percent of our thoughts aren't new. They're just thoughts. We've had many times before and like something. Like seventy percent of them are negative. So we've got the same negative thoughts going day after day hour after hour month after month with the gratitude practice bills different neural pathways. So we have more of a choice. When we're conscious in the moment we can say how do I? How do I wanNA feel in this moment? Whether I can quote do anything about it or NAT. How do I want to feel in this moment? And when we've done the gratitude practice we have math neural pathways built-up Not nearly as many as the worry ones but enough so we can kind of step aside and go. I'm GonNa feel grateful or I'm going to see what is possible or I'm going to see how this might help me in the long run. So it simply gives us more options for how we are in the moment and the practice as you said is the important part. Because that's what builds up the the neural pathway patterns rest to be able to access exactly the thing that we we usually don't realize when it comes to these kinds of things is that we already have a practice and we already have a habit nice kind of we want right and you touched on something that reminded me of the regular activating system and that is the part of our brain that searches externally for data. That matches are internal beliefs so that habit that worry habit that we naturally have when when that's what we focus on our brain is like like so fun looking for ways that I'm not loveable. My mom not lovable. My retur ridiculous. Activating system is out there searching for. Oc There's a point bay looked away when they saw your when when they saw you coming. Oh that prisoners in calling you bass. Oh so it's it's looking for data that matches what I believe but if I go around going well you know I love myself or I'm lovable. Sometimes I doubt it but I'm still basically a lovable person. Then I'll think oh I had such a great conversation an oh. That person doesn't even know me smiled at me. And oh I'm loving myself so we can actually Q. Our brain through stuff like the gratitude practice to Actually unconsciously search more for What we are grateful for in our life. Does that make sense? No hat makes a lot of sense that makes so much sense and Rene when I think about the ridiculing activating system I think about Just for instance. When you want a new car you tend to see that car everywhere absolutely. And that's so simple like it's it's not the coincidences just. Your brain is actually looking for it. It's bring much more attention to it and it's the same thing with how things work on the inside for us. Isn't it absolutely? Yeah like as you're as you're talking about that it just reminds me that simple little tools like when I work with my clients. I give them very simple tools as nothing super complicated. Because what I've realized is like the gratitude practice it seems super simple on the surface like again feel grateful but when we do it. We're putting multiple. Parts of our brain to work are conscious or unconscious and so you know. These practices have much bigger effect. And we can even understand or realize just like you know. We're not going out there going. I'm going to look for my new car every moment of the day. Our brain just does it so the simple things are so profound and worked on so many levels. Exactly it's it's something automatic and we we already do this and I think this is a really interesting idea to to think about that are already looking for things. Our subconscious is already looking for things and like like you said if we are if we don't like ourselves or we have Some things that we don't lie for. We have a bad opinion on about ourselves. We tend to see That truth in the world we because our subconscious is looking for ways in which to to make us feel right from points of view that this is correct. This is this is how how things are run instead. It's actually something that begins from the inside. Then it's it's really beautiful that it's when we talk about this. It's actually not that Kind of concept. That's an unknown spiritual and it's really hard to to grasp but it's something really simple and scientific isn't absolutely yipper. Yeah so We're already doing this. Basically looking for things that usually aren't right and from some points of view. I believe that it's not entirely bad. Like there are things that we need to fix that That need our attention. But it's really important balancings out from from my point of view because we sometimes tend to do that so much that we're really just don't enjoy live we just solve one problem and another and another and we just forget to enjoy live. We forget why we're here. What what we're doing actually and and it's really sad and I think that's very glad that you can really boost our life experience. And they think that's as very powerful like what what they can do and a how. How can you flint's our focus and what we tend to see afterwards yup absolutely it it changes how we move through the world but to get there right not not magically exactly for me one thing that was very very helpful was this part about self acceptance like. Oh Yeah I had this tendency to see my flaws. Like make them bigger than they are they should be or just compare myself with other people and not accept parts of myself. Deterrent as perfect as They seem to be with other people. And the how can we? How can we reach this level of self acceptance in kindness? I'm like gratitude. I see it as a practice Because you know we've got our NEO CORTEX working against us. It's not working against us. It's just keeping US alive which is Super Awesome. Because if we weren't alive we couldn't do gratitude practice so like when I'm working with my clients wore myself their parts of myself that I do not like that. I judged that I beat myself up for and what I found is that when I can hold except those parts doesn't mean I get triple bonus points if I can love those parts of me that are so hurt and so scared. 'cause that's usually what they are But when I can just told them and go there you are. You're here you're scared. You're you're telling me I'm not lovable. And if I can hold it as as a part of myself versus all of these like oh I suck versus. Oh I just made a pretty big mistake. That's that's GonNa suck right but we hold it as a part of ourselves or or but but not all of ourselves so then we give ourselves some kind of psychological distance from these parts that we don't like they're still part of us and they always will be You know our some of our habits and our thoughts. They could be there forever. It's how we respond to them so for me. I GIVE I. I give compassion for the parts of me. That are hurting and that do feeling I'm not valuable. Do feel like I'm a failure or you know should be ashamed or shouldn't be lovable or any of those parts always come up from past hurt. So that's where I start and it's it's a it's a as far as I can tell so far and I'm fifty seven. It's a lifelong practice and I think especially taking into consideration despite the fact that it's a lifelong process. I think this makes self acceptance even more important because Burgon. We're going to live with ourselves for many years to come and if we managed to accept ourselves and to appreciate ourselves as much as possible it makes for so so much joy in such a great life experience compared to Not Feel feeling all the time that we are not not enough or not good enough for we. Just don't accept those things that we might feel are unlovable or Either that are not okay with us. And it's a pity because Sometimes it's really all in our heads and that that's so funny for me. I mean not funding but I was very Surprised in in many situations to find out that people that from the outside seem to be like wouldn't they wouldn't have any issue and write their lives. What a Meyer fact. Yeah even from my point of would I wouldn't be able to find anything bad with how they look for instance and they still found some things that weren't okay and they were very self conscious about them and this is something that we already had all have actually and it doesn't matter help perfect you are in on it. It is this for me. It was very very interesting to see and they at at least that to a certain point. I thought that okay. I'm I'm just not perfect myself. So probably those people that are perfect. From my point of view they are they really feel that perfect you know. Yeah Yeah you you bring up a beautiful point because this work on self acceptance always always always leads us to be more accepting less judgmental of others like I. Special one of my one of my specialties is working with Caregivers of people who have Alzheimer's and One of my focuses is on like take care of you. Love Yourself More. Give yourself self care. Stop beating yourself up for not being quote the perfect caregiver to you. Know the your loved one and nobody has ever come back and said you know now that I'm taking care of myself and kinder to myself. I'm a sucky caregiver like nobody has ever said that. They'll go on more patient and more loving. I'm more kind. They are kinder to the people who you know need so much help in their lives and this is true for all of us like yours. Your self acceptance in yourself. Compassion leads automatically to. Oh those people even though I think they look perfect. They're probably hurting too. They parts themselves. They don't like and you know when we see another people. It's heartbreaking really. Oh that is so sad when we see the parts in ourselves. We don't like our heart gets a little harder like I shouldn't say that what we sleep harden up versus that openness and softness of compassion. So we get to have that too exactly and we deserve it and yes we. We deserve appreciation and It's it's very important to to take the time to just think about those things that we re appreciate about ourselves because one of the things that people don't usually think about when it comes to gratitude as he can it be grateful for ourselves as well like for things that are great about us and people get so scared about that they just feel so bad saying oh. I love this about myself so I do this. Type of therapy called sins which stands for complex integration of multiple brain systems in. It's awesome and there's a woman there who's always at the trainings and she said you know when when you do something and you feel bad about doing it like. I'm so proud of myself for accomplishing that project. And then really Oh God him so stuck up. I'm so selfish. I'm so glad that she said but if somebody else were proud of themselves working really hard and getting stumped something done we wouldn't judge them. They're like yeah. Yeah for you go to right so she said so if it's a good idea for somebody else but it's not okay for us. She said eleven times out of ten. Were breaking a family rule. So eleven times out of ten. We grew up going. Nope you do. Not Who do you think you are? You're too big for your britches shits you know. Sit down. Don't don't don't do that. You're embarrassing me. How embarrassed you know so. Most of US learned that. It's not okay to be proud of ourselves because it's quote scene is selfish. 'cause somehow been proud of ourselves is become associated with. I'm better than you if I'm proud of myself then I think I'm better than you versus non. I'm just proud of myself. Didn't you don't matter as far as that when you're awesome but why pride has nothing to do with your value but we learned that it does somehow exactly and I think this has a lot to do with Compare it comparing our other people because when we accept ourselves how other people are. It's isn't really that relevant than when we are proud of ourselves is in because we are better than other people is just that we are proud of ourselves and we appreciate ourselves and yeah we we feel great about what we were able to do or who we are and the thing. Is that people who are in in this way are very very likable very lovable. Very very nice people and Even though they're not perfect and this is this is the whole thing like there are so many people that may be. I don't know it doesn't really matter. But it's like they. They don't have the the certain the characteristics that that you think about when it comes to an ideal person and they are still very attractive. They had very fun very cool. I Dunno you just feel great when when you're attracted to them. Yeah I think a an are as human beings when we're not you know really really hurt human beings Or even if we've been hurt but we've done this work for self compassion and south acceptance. I think at our heart. We are generous beings. We want the best for everybody when we are enough. We want enough for everybody. It's like there's no zero sum game than me. Tell you about one of the ultimate life hacks. It's hard to find the time to sit down and read and learn more when you don't have the free time you can't read their work on personnel development. There is an incredible APP that solves this problem and they highly recommended. It's called Blink Blink. His really unique and it works on your phone. Your tablet or your web browser blink. His stakes best key takeaways. The need to know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condenses them down into just fifteen minutes that you can read or listen to twelve million people are using it right now and it has a massive and growing library. Thanks to blink. Is I finally got to read? Gay Hendricks Book the Big Lip. Conquer your hidden fear and live to the next level. The book my friend and former guest on the gratitude. Podcast recommended with blink. You get unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condense nonfiction books all the books you want an all for one low price right now for a limited time blink. Years has a special offer just for our audience. Go TO BLINK DOT COM slash credit. You try it free for seven days and save twenty five percent off your new subscription. That's blinking spelled B. L. I. N. K. S. T. BLANKETS DOT com slash gratitude to start your free seven-day trial and you'll also save twenty five percent but only when you sign up at blinking dot com slash gratitude with Acceptances compassion. That there's no I'm sorry. There's a finite amount of compassionate acceptance in the world and a fight takes some you get less. No it's just like it's like a multiplies. It's like the more we have the more we spread actually in the mar other people have in the more day spread in. It's it's In we make the world a better place by accepting ourselves but literally. 'cause we friend that you know people feel good around you when you're when you're feeling gratitude when you're when you're kind to yourself then those people feel good and then when narrow around people those people feel good and you know it's like it's like a good infection in the world and a good way and I think it's it's easier for us to visualize the center to realize days this when we when we think about The other side of the coin. Like and your and you talk in a certain way to another person and they feel bad or they feel mad as well and they they take that away and they talk in a mean way to someone else and he can go on until someone actually stops it and doesn't continue but it's it's really how it works and sometimes we. We got to be bad that just because I don't know ten people If we go ten people back someone was feeling hurt. Or something and they They took that anger out on someone else and I think that you know this this can. This can happen in a positive way as well and Maybe it's not that office because it's more soft I think and it's not that man that easy to to recognize what it's still very amazing. It really is. Since we're I know it you wouldn't expect it but we are actually and nearing the end of our time together Zuber fast. I know I know I can't believe it's even though I'm saying it bridge. Let's talk a little bit about The things that you are grateful for and the people that you are grateful for and I love the you ask that question. Because you're what you're preaching. That's I'm I so much gratitude I'm grateful for the people in my life who are so supportive and Always helped me see that. I'm lovable and I'm capable and That I'm a good force in the world and I do. Those would be my sister. Who's just a a font of unconditional love like literally She's awesome and my parents who you know they're both past and they both had many struggles and the but they always loved me. I'm it was. It's really interesting. They just you know. I just knew that I was their kid. So they loved me period than the Super Awesome and then my friends and and The people who helped me spread my message out into the world Dolores Hirschman who's my wonderful coach and my virtual assistant faith and the all around. Good Person Laura Denton who? I just talked to the other night and talk to her for a while and I always get off the phone. I'm like Oh there's so much good in the world and I'm part of it and it's just I love the people who you know. Help me spread positively positively in the world by giving me their positively. That's amazing that's amazing. It's always the people in our life that make us feel grateful and that have such beautiful and positive effect on us and I I was about how interesting it is when you're engaged in a conversation You are present. I am connecting this with something that you talked in in the beginning And we are out of our heads. We listened to the other person and We tend to focus focus on on different things. Especially if it's of course a positive conversation and I think that this is this is another great idea to actually talk about the things that you're grateful for and shared them. Yes absolutely there people who have gratitude buddies and they just text each other each morning and or each night. And say what? They're grateful foreign. They just they always feel good about it. It's amazing yeah that's great idea and a really great way of Having this engagement as well like for people that don't work well just by themselves to write things down. It's a really really great idea to to make this into something. Interactive Andom doom to make this into something that they can share with other people and I think that this is. This is very powerful. Yeah absolutely because we're spreading that much faster exactly exactly so Let us know. Where can our audience find your work in the in touch in Your work awesome. Yes I've got a website everyday. Love Dot me and I'm on facebook under every day. Love and if people do instagram. It's Dr Jane Twenty Tour de R. J. A. N. E. T. O. R. An A. T. O. R. E. and. I've got a youtube channel everyday love but you can't find it unless you also type in Jane. Turner Torque is. There's an everyday love song that like pigs all the like. That's always where it goes so little harder to find me on youtube unless you put my name to all my video look Dorky is the screen capture is just like really like not one. Zuma smile. It's fascinating. I've been very mobile face. Apparently yeah I wouldn't expect that because they're so fun and so full of energy and Thank you yeah it is. It's delightful my my system just soothes down and and feels calmer when I when I'm speaking with you you've got a very lovely calming peaceful accepting kind of Energy. Thank you so much. Thank you really really appreciate. It just feels good. Oh Azam we did our job. I'm hoping that this will get our listeners. As well and yeah just uplift them and Get them on track to yeah even better. And even bet their absolute Is there something that you would like to share about gratitude that I I failed to mention or to ask you and the end of our time together? That's a great we've covered so much No I I think. Oh actually there's one more thing I'm thinking is we're talking about people like one of the things that I can unfair one of the when those times when it's really hard to be grateful and we're just like life just seems to be hitting us in we cannot get behind the gratitude bandwagon My cats and for some people dogs the are like they don't judge asked just their little personalities but they they're just they're just there and when. I'm having a hard time feeling grateful. I think of my cats and automatically iheart just bursts with warmth and I think dogs and cats and you know for other people other animals I think the more were around them the more remember. Oh this isn't about who I am like. They don't care if somebody yelled at us. They don't care if we screwed up at work they don't care if we accidentally insulted somebody they're just there and they're like oh you're there. Yeah so there for me a fond of unconditional acceptance. They just they're them and you can be you in. It's all good so I just WanNa add that for for the pet pet lovers out there. It's like it's a it's a powerful thing and I have a friend who did puppy yoga the other day which she mostly just petted the puppies instead. But they're just you know when I'm I just saw puppies last weekend and I just felt automatically good so anyway can get puppies or kittens in Your Life Deloitte and I love them too and I can certainly vouch for net Israel right beings exactly some so thank you so much for being part of gratitude podcast and for your time and for your presence and for everything that you shared today thank you Jordan. It was truly my pleasure. Hey gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been Georgia Banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

youtube opium Europe Hendricks George Bente Dot Jude US US flint Alzheimer Jane Doe Ray Beige Georgia Bente George John Freud NEO Rene Zuma facebook Azam Burgon
Enjoying The Company Of People Instead of Rushing Towards Goals - Thomas Anderson

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

39:34 min | 2 months ago

Enjoying The Company Of People Instead of Rushing Towards Goals - Thomas Anderson

"I think that was a big switch from me doing their. You know. I've been cassia. Now is sort of perspective bins. All always sort of chasing something that i just want to finish this. I will be satisfied when i finish. This always been sort of aiming at salting so maybe dan i can relax. Maybe then i can relax doing that. Camino everything became so simple is like so many things that happened in this hike it was. I hiked a lot but the guy that didn't walk that fast. And i'm used to sort of hiking and you know meeting the goal the quickest but then i realized there's no points if i sort of make that daily hike in four hours or six hours. It's that's what i'm gonna do for the days. Doing the hike else and really matter if i stress and then sorta stopped and and immoral enjoyed the conversations on the way in and stop maybe for longer. Coffee with people met metal. The hike that was it. All just a small thing for me in ingratitude. To sort of enjoy the company of people instead of rushing to gold. Cue thank you own my heart. They q. q know more Welcome to the gratitude podcast une. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast. George bente high gratitude seeker. Our guest. Today is swedish entrepreneur change maker inspirational speaker and life coach. He's also the author of the wonderful men. Break your patterns master your emotions reclaim your life. Which has inspired which was inspired by his own struggle to reconcile his every day life and emotional turmoil that he was experiencing as h as be himself. Anderson tells the story of his own struggle with burnout to ensure that others might learn or relearn how to listen to during your voice and how to handle their emotions in an overwhelming world douglas anderson. Welcome to the gratitude. Podcast thank you so much for having me. It's my pleasure so let us know little bit more about you about your story i'm I'm really curious. How are you got to create this book and How you got to identify yourself as a highly sensitive person. Yes i think. I think sort of my my major manger needs started in about six years ago i will sort of stuck in life. I i done everything you should have done. You know i was married at. The kids. Got a new job and doing whatever i wanted to do. My job is to talk on new challenges but still there was this sort of inner turmoil. Didn't feel enough. And i don't know i always been like a helper and helping people but i don't know i think like at that time. It was just too many things that was doing and being there for everyone bots. Maybe not being there for myself. And i was like yeah oh my winterbourne out and feeling depressed and just overwhelmed about everything but also at that time they will stay little voice that this is not the way life should be and so i just realized something needed to change and took small steps back and got help from from france coming back to myself anyway and On that journey and got into contact with the hsa highly sensitive person and that sort of makes so much sense for me Taking in more information and being overwhelmed the crease. That i've been like i'm so wrong. I sort of think and i think to march get overwhelmed. There's something strange to me now. Realize this just something different than i just had alone to handle my emotions and seeing clearly in a way and having the tools to moscow these things so that was like the big starts over a long journey me finding my way back and i went on the pilgrimage camino on his bain changed my job i start a business and also during this time there was a lot of talking about the men and then metoo period there when you talked about commandment masculinity then also realize going through my process and i saw that the needle compensation instead of opening up and talking about this Sort of the thoughts. That i have been struggling with it was needed. It was like you needed to open up away. And i saw that. I have it in general for for many many years as nestled. Maybe my story sharing my journal together with my experience can help other to open up and help them on their inner struggle. Because that's what i have felt a sorta may be the hardest thing is take these steps and sort of meeting your own anxiety your worries when he sort do something and you feel similarly thinking like this and no. You're not it's it's on. Its way back exactly. I think it's it's something very powerful to to do because We are wired in no way that Being vulnerable means that we we might die if we take it to the day to the end of it all and We might be Rejected by others. we might be Cast outside the the group outside the tribe and that means that we're like i said who basically In danger of dying and the powerful thing is that of course we all have these kinds of in their struggles and if nobody speaks about them. We we think we are. We're alone Struggling with with these things and that's not true and it's very powerful when when someone Writes about these things and Is open about these things that we we feel that we are not alone and that means a lot for for many of us that we realized we're not broken or not damaged is just something that Most of us are going through and It's part of being human and also managed mentioned this idea of the digital age and The amount of information that That comes to us each day. And i was thinking that indeed. Our our brain hasn't been able to adapt because let's say one hundred years ago. We had so much less information to process in a day than we do in our now. Like it's such a huge difference and I think it's very interesting that that you met. You focused on that dissolve. It's a problem that we all experience nowadays and i'm really curious If we can explore this a little bit more how How do you see This influx of Information has affected. Us what i saw a thought also got perspective on my own journey and i realize what actually happened to me in a way it was in two thousand fifteen when i sort of got the barnow. Don't sort those dark feelings on thoughts. And also at that time i sort of had been very digital and working as a management consultant sort of being available all the time using my phone checking. My e mails deadly efficient. I elected everything could be so available. And i sort of see now. That was quite early into the digital stress. And i didn't see is coming in a way. I think that's what's in a way. Is maybe abundant struggles. That we are facing. Now it's it's it's a parenting shift in the way we are in the way we work since we have in a way you have more. We have more food on our tables. We have roof overheads have more things have more products with the material things and also now we got the information that sort of i dunno way puts us into a a new new time that we need to be very conscious about because the things that maybe we did before we needed to move to to get our food. We need to work with our hands with our body to to get things to get material to build a house ask. We can also stay in season. I also work on our computer and calcium as much information as possible and we do everything right as humans but it's also sort of in a way destroying us because we should do these things that's going outside. We need to do exercise. We need to be healthy and we need to sort of deduce our amounting information. I think that's sort of the big thing that sorta tricks the mind today because we should rest when we have time because we should be alert for hunting or alert for if any danger comes up so we should rest when we have the time. So that's what our body tells us and also we should eat when we had to post Usually there's a scarce food. We don't have enough food and also the next thing then with information is that we should check for information. Are there any risks ordinary opportunities when we should continue searching for information. And that's what i see. Maybe a highly sensitive person is. I'm or open to all this information to checking. I'm a product manager and doing planning the oldest inflammation when there's no stop and there is something new that's happening to us to beneath actually say this is enough. I need to sort of balance myself. It's just to say mess you you don't drink alcohol day. You don't smoke all the time you you do these things that's okay it's it's good with candy anybody. You don't eat it everyday and all the time because you know it's not good for you and i think that's the same thing with information. It's very powerful. It's very good for us but also too much. It's not good so Shift that we talk about on. I usually take an example. We talk about surgeons and doctors in mid eighteen. Like eight hundred fifty. The didn't wash their hands between surgery and help out taking care of dead bodies because we didn't believe in bacterias and this researchers found that what we need if we start cleaning our hands or disturbance clean their hands. We can reduce the fatality rates on on on mothers they give birth and it was reduced from like twelve percent down to two percents but it took like fifteen or twenty years before it was accepted in saudi of these society or by among surgeon. Statue jackson you wash your hands and today the maybe laugh at that as a. Hey it's kinda stupid is quite normal that you should wash your hands. We all do it. Especially knowing the kobe times and i think there's the same thing we have been smoking and it was also good in the beginning and i was like maybe not that good and we don't see information and i think that triggers and some of us more and it's also sort of in a way dangerous for us if it's costumed too much and win sort of balance or wash our mind from all these impressions and emotions and things that happened during the day. I think that's the big switch and it's new for us and we don't know the handle it and that's what i see. We have this increased increase mental illness and people of we don't have the tools to handle it. And that's what i want to talk about this sorta to find a way back in understanding emotions and handling all these inner. What's our reaction that we have. That are normal but now it's overwhelming amethi didn't need to learn this growing up because it was not a problem at that time because there will time or there was nothing to do and your mind could rest but now you may need to make that conscious decision to actually give you mind arrest something. That's sort of the main parts exactly exactly and There is this interesting Thing that i've seen in in my own experience with information For instance My mom grew up in the communist regime and they had i think they had one hour of tv per day or per week. Or something like this So information was predeceased cares And the all they only had one type of information usually that was highly controlled and after The communist regime fell She was very interested in finding out new things and getting information and as i grew up She wanted to give me that to share as much macho formation with me as possible. Because she didn't have access to that for her was a blessing that she had so much information and she wanted to to to share it as as much as possible. And should caught Different pieces From articles or from books and she would send them a to me and things of this nature and she still has this habit on messenger on facebook she. She keeps sending all kinds of information and It's really interesting to see How some turns out from from that period has have Remain somehow end. How the fact that at some point is like similar To hunger when you had the period when you didn't have much food you want to eat as much as possible and store as much as possible so that you make sure that you're not going to go through that again and for me. It's it's very interesting to see. Because i was born in in an era where when i had access free access information and seeing that nick contrast was Very interesting for me. But what i also want to do to get to is Maybe maybe this stereotype. So i don't know if if it's the correct one but What they know about people In northern europe is that they they have this ability and this this habit of going out in nature and even going out to remote places where they don't have mobile signal or just deter quite remote and they think That is actually a great. I we idea for digital age to to take the time to disconnect right giving give that support someone dear to your heart can be a real blessing woohoo. You made it very simple for you. To offer a memorable give that your loved one will surely cherish for the rest of their life help him or her feel appreciated in value right now they might need more than you think. Go to georgia and banta dot com slash woohoo or visit. The lincoln the description to find out more yano. I think jim. I believe nature is very healing in a way. And it's also an honorable thing to be in nature. i'm out. I'm doing a lot of hiking. Specialist austa did the camino on in spain. And it's just so relaxing to be out there. And i sort of see it as to her. If you sort of look at the mind as well like if you're in nature or maybe you're at the place location where there's not that many people and you sort of have control over the area in a way your mind can relax because you have control of the area there are no dangerous around you them sort of maybe subconsciously you sort of relaxed more sort oriented or quiet place but imagine if you're going on in a city downtown or your around information the time it's it's some consciously are a bit unearth all the time that something could happen. Danger is their opportunity. It is something needs to be aware of. Will these people attack me. Of course you know they were not attacked. You still it's if you look at human it's about surviving and it's about being in in sort of not being endanger in trying to safe so i think that's what a mental thing that's how to nature and did a lot of reach such now. I think it's made from japan when think it's cold forest bathing and being out the nature and There is something there. I think that also it's humans we have been living in nature for ninety nine percents of our time in a way so it's nothing strange these new times that are strange and i also just to sort of fault about the thing that you said like when you not having information and getting information and also like it's is just changing before we didn't have that much food and it was like if you came to visit it's like eat them you want some food and then maybe it was inflammation that you were bored and you didn't have anything to do so you help your kids or let's entertain you. Let's do something because it was something that can have an. It was boring to be having nothing to do. And then you saw of course we need to entertain your time and may be pushed it so much that we are entertaining. All the time is always this sort of. It's a good costs like you said we do mother and sort of giving you information but now it's an overload of information and it's also that switch jazz Nature is a good way just to helping you to distance because there's nothing it can do and also you can add move and i do a lot of hiking and you just walk there in the woods and is very soothing for your body remember when i did. The hiking in spain and a mess met is italian laden. We talked about hiking and what's soothing. With doing the height she said while by by hiking. Oh by walking. You melt the snow in your body and dense sort of really touched me in a way that it's because when i will also on my camino so i gone through a divorce and see you know various little upset. It's been a very upsetting times and it is so right doing this hike because just walking and he's just feel emotions came up and you were crying and it was just like what is continue walking in it was like just cleaning your body in a way and that sort of helps so much knowledge. Well that could be when busy times. It's just sort of my fullback photo strategy. If i'm overwhelmed if it's too much i know. Okay let's go into nature. Let's go for a hike. Let's go walk. Let's do something because it helps me to relax especially these lost years when it's been of course in sweden. Maybe we'll be able to move around more done in other parts of the world but for me like doing the hikes and doing outdoor things it's been very soothing. Not that maybe are sort of happy. Feeling all the time the steelers accepting it and just sort of giving your body the time to digest. The things that goes on exactly exactly ran One of the things that most of them guests on the gratitude. Podcasts have shared this. That nature is great of being in nature and nature. Itself is a great way to reconnect with gratitude and I'm curious To find out more about your perspective on gratitude like How do you define it while. What is in gratitude for you and your perspective. I think they're so my need diminishes in a way on on gratitude part for me is being thank you for for small things Thankful florida thinks that that you have around you and also i think that's actually reflect on what you have because sometimes it's been that we're chasing things too much and i think that was a big switch for me doing that. The camino i've been cassia always sort of perspective have been so always sort of chasing something that i just wanna finish this. I will be satisfied when i finish this. Always been sort of aiming at salting. So maybe dan i can relax. Maybe then i can relax. But during that camino everything became so simple is like so many things that happened. You in this hike it was. I hiked a lot but the guy that didn't walk that foster. And i'm used to sort of hiking and you meeting the goal the quickest but then i realized there's no points if i sort of make that daily hike in four hours or six hours. It's that's what i'm gonna do for the days doing to hike else. And really matter if i stress and then i sort of stopped and and more enjoyed the conversations on the way in and stop may before longer coffee with people know metal and hike. That was just a small thing for me in ingratitude. To sort of enjoy the company of people instead of rushing to to goal and also to gratitude will just getting the food and you being high hiking the whole day and just getting a coffee or getting the food and people are so friendly and helping. Actually give you food on your table. That's also maybe things we take for granted but it's also the small things staffed. I think we need to stop somehow. Maybe think one whilst of lost time that were actually hungry or hadn't eaten for a long time and just like stuck no. Maybe that was a very long time ago. Maybe it'd being a bit hungry but maybe not relief you compared to other parts of the world. That actually don't have food and stopping back. They're sort of seeing things that we take for granted ground today. It's in a way. Look look back a couple of hundred years. it's a luxury and also seeing what your parents and and what other people have done for you even though maybe you feel a situation that it's They have a bad situation. Disentis has happened but still there are still people around you. That are fixing things and helping you and have a good hearts. Of course. there's people that maybe don't do that but the majority i'd like you and me and the people listening and the friends you have. It's good people and they do the best with what they have. It's maybe long also gratitude. But i think it's so many things to think about them. I think one lost bit. That i think made a big impact on me doing this coming back to the camino. Still what it was that when you doing this hike. It's you go like twenty five kilometers a day and you have your backpack and you have like three t shirts three pairs of underwear. You have your jacket and you have little water bottle and things like that. And i remember one day or sort of i think it was one evening and i sorta pack my backpack. Because you want to be ready in the morning to start. The hike realize are different Sleeping in a room twelve more people. I've been usually start working in the business and traveling living towels than having this kind of life but hair will so free. I had everything. I needed my backpack. I had my shoes. I knew that tomorrow. Just gonna pack my back. I'm just gonna make sure everything with me. But then i'm going to hike next place. I'm going to sleep there and was just so simple and it's made my life so my simpler also coming forward. It's i don't need that many things. It's you always meet people around you and it's being sort of i think for us also be of hooked into the material things that it's you don't need that much but it can also hold us back that we want that house. We won't that car won't that. Td won't won't they won't this but all these things actually also stops us from living in a way so for me sort of gratitude is coming also back to to the simple things and seeing seeing people and being grateful for things that you get on also from people helping you and also helping others also but i think that sort of perspective on greg i i loved it i love i think you you pointed out so many of the important things about gratitude and about life in general i think i love the example that you mentioned what The friend that you were hiking whip and it makes so much sense. And it's it's so perfect for for someone that wants to do everything fast and elm may be the first one or things of this nature to get that goal as much as soon as possible and Yes sometimes it's just about being patient and just enjoying the journey and Seeing that things. Dr going on around you and appreciating them and that's that's such a beautiful perspective and it. It's very related to gratitude and to actually matters in life and What actually makes us feel grateful because of course it. There is a certain satisfaction with Being good at things and reaching goals fast what but when does it end. Actually because it's like okay reaching this goal very fast time making these sacrifices. I know Cutting off relationships thanking Make sure i get this done as soon as possible. And then i get to done they get the goal and then then what happens while there's the next one and you keep on doing the same thing and hopefully at some point to you realize okay. What action it doing here. I agree and i think it's been i see it as a process that we have gone through we sort of we have. We have need this sort of expansion with the industrial world. Because we've had starving. We've had not enough product. We have had have had rough times and sort of thank you. Thanks to all the technology we have expanded and sort of an actually that we can have this interaction right now over over over the internet and having it live. Podcast between romania sweden. And it's it's we can talk of how conversations all over the world we have in where in a way as a society as humans as globally. We are not connected in a new way. That was not possible before we have reached a new connection in the world. Just imagine that is not just the small group of people. Now we can share knowledge all over the world so it's have created something but also maybe we need to slow also fall back now. We have created something. How can we enjoy it because now also we compare each other to people all over the world. It's not a digest. Compare with with some locally. You're the best soccer player. You're the best a blacksmith. You're the best programmer in your local place. You compare yourself to people all over the world. Who is the bed pulse. Podcast who is the best also and then you sort of comparing to seven billion people and of course with thunder there will be a struggle but also looking back and maybe go more locally. It's this way interact with others but also then compare all over the world and that's also triggers us in a different way. Because i'm not the best. There's someone better in the world. But that's not a good way to compare yourself with because david levy one that is best in the world but still you will have friends around you locally and work is needed locally and there's always things that you can do and all these sort of efficiency always being available always doing things because you can work twenty four seven you can be connected all the time. It doesn't work and they're are also come back to nature and if you look at all the faces in nature. We have the springtime we have the summer. We have the harvest in the fall when you sort of collect all the different things from from older agriculture. And you're not mad in springtime. You have no apples in the garden because you know well. It will take time for the apples to grow also in the wintertime. It's your k- wintertime. It's you don't wake up the beer that steps because you know he's sleeping now and it's wintertime and you relax actually text back which we as. Humans also did before before we had the electrical lights. It was a different face. But now since we're pushing ourselves so hard we have the possibility. And we ma'am. I dunno mentally. Maybe we need to think that we need to sort of take advantage of all times to do things we need to do. All these things about do we because we have changed in a way but we are still chasing after something that we may not need. So i think it's a interesting switch. Also they were nature and they're sort of technology and the changes in the world. That's so true on it. Of course The digital age is giving us many many benefits and sexually helping us At at some point to to get back to nature and to be a book liber simpler life. As long as of course we know how to define the balance yuccas like you said Many things are are great. If we don't abuse them they they're not too much and Yeah this digital age and All this connectivity can help us with gratitude quite a lot. If we choose to. And i'm happy that our listeners chose to to use this connectivity to connect with us and to connect with gratitude but of course it can also have a negative impact if we are using it too much and bene- singa balancing it out with nature and With disconnecting from all of this information is is very important. Because i think the the was the biggest risk here is that we're not aware of how much you formation is coming Towards us we got used with it and We don't see how hard it is for our brain for our bodies to To take it in And i think one once we we find the time to to disconnect to go out in nature and we realized how good that feels and how simple it is Then we can see the contrast and find out what we find ways to to get this balance because it's it's so important if we want to experience my gratitude for instance. That was very curious down if you have any days for our listeners regarding gratitude like i have some Some habits that You would recommend our listeners. I think one of the main thing as we talked about. Maybe the digital world to like if you're i i'm very affected by the digital world and because i'm sort of impasse and helper. I wanna be for everyone and maybe be aware that that you are one of those persons that want to be there for everyone and then it's also sort of maybe in the struggle that because he won't help the world but also they are just helping. One person is also a good achievement. So having that graduate also see things that you do even though they. There's so much more to do. Yes but think of what you have achieved Crate around you. I think that's a one of the things and also setting with teams. I think is is still crucial Since we can be this sort of connected all the time to secular not that makes you feel good starts today in a way that helps. You bought it to wake up. And seth different kinds of returns to may exercise or doing some meditation in the morning. Doesn't need to be that you do to our thing do fifteen or thirty minutes or five minutes or whatever and also during the day. Try to stop because usually if rush it's you you'd be in this sort of panic warrior sort of in a flight or fight or free mode as we talk about and Actually stop doing today and see what's happened and also ended the day with also sort of time to reflect. What did i do today. What i'm a great fit about. Because do the spoils things during the day. You can see that you have on the lots and you can be more satisfied with what you do and also donald grateful to of south and the things that you actually accomplished. Even if it's small things you might think this is nothing but see these small things because it's all the small things that makes a difference. It's not when you have finished when your tire. It's all these things during a day. Then you sort of see life in a different way. I think so i realize maybe the person with long all sir spot love in brazil. Perfect love long answers. And i thought you thoughtful. You are when when. You're answering a question so i really appreciate so We're nearing the end of our time. Together and I wanted to ask you. Where can our audience get the honorable man. The mark yes. Different vulnerable man is available on amazon. So it's the vulnerable man and just such there or you can also check my website. It's thomas anderson thought. So that's where you can find me. Wholesome websites instagram and things like that's perfect perfect. Thank you very much for your time for being here at us and for showing all of these amazing ideas has thank you. Thank you for having me.

george bente George bente douglas anderson Statue jackson Camino dan spain moscow yano Anderson Disentis northern europe france saudi sweden nick
Gratitude As The Great Salvation From The Fear Of Ageing - Stephanie Raffelock

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

35:53 min | 3 months ago

Gratitude As The Great Salvation From The Fear Of Ageing - Stephanie Raffelock

"Dang thing my heart prone my heart a q own. My heart In a certain way gratitude is great. Sally for just about everything but certainly for aging Gratitude in my eyes is a kind of a waking up as david stendhal rast says its appreciation for life. That has the potential to fill your heart. You know what you're driving in your culture and my culture is. I think that there is a struggle for us to live life fully to live life on our own terms to the very end. Why should life stop at forty or fifty or sixty. Why not expand it. Because i think that we have the capacity to grow spiritually and psychologically until the day we die so gratitude is a doorway into a life bat is fulfilling a life where we can cultivate. Thank you a life where we can cultivate appreciation and those things can only nourish our heart and our soul co many times. They do feel stressed or anxious gratitude. But we've explored how debrief has in these situations. Thankfully the guys at komo also came up with a product that helps us form the habit of breathing deeply. It's called the shift and it's minimalistic necklace. That not only looks good but helps is relaxed by extending our act sales. I love simple solutions. And they're the ones we actually turned into long-term habits that bring amazing results in our lives. Find out more on georgian banta dot com slash the shift or visit the lincoln the description. One more thing. Did you know if you use my code gratitude. Podcast kept fifteen percent of the shift necklace. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guess. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast. George bente high gratuities seeker. Welcome to new episode of gratitude. Podcast today we have with as an author blogger speaker and much more. She's an advocate for the positive potential of aging. For several years. She has been writing and studying about the positive active and graceful aging movement. She helps self-aware educated women who are interested in shrinking the toxic mates and stereotypes of aging. Which i think is amazing in and of itself. And i'm sure that we will be exploring this topic together. So my guess that they is stephanie. Ruffalo and I'm really happy to have her here and I'm really curious on on. Our conversation will go so stephanie. Welcome to the gratitude. Podcast thank you so much my pleasure so let us know little bit about a little bit more about you about your work. I think it's fascinating. And i'm sure that our listeners will find it fascinating as well. The work that i do around aging the riemann. The speaking was a happy accident. It wasn't conscious choice. I was making my way in the world with an encore career. As a writer in this part of my life and i was writing for large blog called sixty which is worldwide blog and i started getting feedback from women. That's one of the great things about is that you get immediate feedback from people about what you're writing about. And they were all telling the same story and that is. I'm not ready for retirement. I don't wanna go gently into that. Good night I feel like there's more to life. And and i sensed a kind of struggle about age that we've had for a long time. I started to write about aging and our attitudes about aging. Not only how the culture sees us but how we see our stops and it came to the conclusion that if we're feeling insignificant or irrelevant as we age. That's a called coming from inside the house that we need to look closely at what our own attitudes and what our own platform for self love is as we age because when you look at age it's really a remarkable and noble passage to grow old first of all not. Everybody gets to do it. Second of all. There's a reason that nature keeps us alive past the age of childbearing years. So what is the reason that nature keeps us alive. And as i do this work what i find is nature keeps us around because this is our time of contemplation says our hind to elder to learn how to listen deeply to the young people around us and be a light to them and encouragement and inspiration to them. So that's the work. I do now. My second book comes out this august and once again i'm dealing with the topic of women and aging It's not that men don't age but in this culture women have a little bit more difficult at challenge in that regard than nadu missouri interesting and It's very interesting that you mention culture One of the interesting things that i've seen in in my travels Especially in western. Europe was the difference between Women of let's let's take age sixty or more Compared to how how women are In romania at that age and For instance going out for a meal for a drink in in our culture at that age is something that they just don't do or getting dressed in a certain way and going out. That's again something that's really we art for For women of that age. But i've seen For instance you vienna. I've seen women that got all dressed up and went for a drink with friends or with relatives. Then they were i don. I guess they were like seventy eighty years old and it seemed something very natural for them and for me it was. It was a cultural shock. Seeing that the these still had appreciation for for themselves and gave themselves this This opportunity to to enjoy life to just be and to come to contemplate like like you said and I think it's it's very interesting that we're able to to speak about these things from different viewpoints because we usually like one hundred years ago or or so. We only saw one possibility of Aging of an attitude towards aging and That was usually the only one now. Thankfully we have other options. We have other viewpoints. And you're you're doing some amazing work in In helping helping a see a different way. And i think that's that's amazing so one of the first things that I would like to ask you is. How do you see gratitude than how these seat related to aging well. In a certain way gratitude is the great sally for just about everything but certainly for aging Gratitude in my eyes is a kind of a waking up as david stendhal rast says its appreciation for life. That has the potential to fill your heart. You know what you're driving in your culture and my culture is. I think that there is a struggle for us to live life fully to live life on our own terms to the very end. Why should life stop at forty or fifty or sixty. Why not expand it. Because i think that we have the capacity to grow spiritually and psychologically until the day die so gratitude is a doorway into a life. Bat is fulfilling A life where we can cultivate. Thank you a life where we can cultivate appreciation and those things can only nourish our heart and our soul so gratitude an attitude of gratitude gratitude. For what is and for where we are and opening oneself to the surprise and delight of life can only seek to serve our hearts and our souls and only seek to alleviate the stresses of life. And you know if you've got creaking knees gratitude that you can still around the block That's something definitely. I think So one of the things that As spoke about that at one point on the podcast is the fact that we should appreciate this exact moment in time because we we're not getting any younger and People say those were the days you know like in the past The good old days and and so on and so forth but these are actually the days that we would. We will speak of as being the good old days at one point. And if we are able to be aware of this. I i think we can enjoy them. You and more and That was my perspective on aging and Surely it's it's complementary to Do your work and things that you are doing absolutely. I think it's it's a gift that twee are where we are at this point that we are live that we are That are works great. Even though all of us have different things that are working great sometimes But seeing the whole picture. I believe that this has being big impact and it helps us appreciate berry where we are right now and But the perspective that. I was very curious about this. What would be some things that people could Be grateful for aging. The first thing that comes to mind is that it is a noble passage. This is time in life where you really have slowed down enough to contemplate and appreciate the over arching story of your life. It's a time in life where you have the moments to sit on a front porch and appreciate the nature is right outside your door. It's the time in life where you can reflect upon all that you've learnt because life is a journey that's up and down and it's all about what we learn about using better about being bigger human beings and if you've reached a point in life where you're older and you think well i didn't become a better or bigger human being. I don't think it's ever too late to start. How can we expand ourselves even now at this age so think that aging gives us a point of view Reflection that younger age does not give us that. We were busy in in the business of raising children of paying a mortgage of making levin of doing all those things and even though at this stage of life. I'm still engaged in making a living. My life is a little bit slower and there is a lot. There are a lot of gifts in that slowness of age. I walk a little slower. I see more in the neighborhood. So there's just a list that the gift of years was the name of a book by sister. Joan chichester with is about aging myth grace and gratitude and The years holt gives for us most definitely and many of the riches that we get to enjoy are actually inside of us and I'm sure that as we age our wealth gets bigger and bigger our walls of knowledge. Our wealth of friends our wealth of Wisdom and yeah they think this is the potential of the abundant life. Isn't it exactly. Yeah and since. We're we're at this topic. I'm curious what what are some myths and stereotypes of aging like. What do people feel. We were talking. We were talking about the the positives The things that we can be grateful for. But what are some things That you believe are actually toxic toxic of myths and stereotypes of aging. Well we have a fear that we're going to break down and get sick. I use my mother. As an example she lived till the age of eighty nine and it really only in her last six to eight months where her health took this steady decline and and we knew and she knew that she was reading from the world but she did not spend her older years for seventy s and most of her eighties in some kind of sickened state. I think people fear that we we live in a time where there have been medical advances and Advances in what we know about just keeping ourselves healthy that service people fear losing their minds. And i don't know what it's like to how alzheimer's or dementia but i'll tell you a story that my husband had a dear friend that he had known since he was twenty years old. Who was a big part of his life and she was i. I would say a good twenty five years older than he was and toward the end of her life she got dementia and he called her one day and and her daughter her on the on her own with him and she didn't know who she was talking to and he used to have this silly name for her. He called her bananas and he began to say to her. A nana's bananas it's me and finally there was this lou silent and she said oh dean. You found me and for this one moment. She was lucid. And there was this great connection like the love not stopped and he said he was not of the mind to say. Where are you describe it to me. It was enough that they had connected. So when i think of alzheimer's and dementia. I think that that's necessarily a hellish ace. My husband's mother lived with dementia for several years. Before she di- she did not remember her children. She did not remember her husband but she did remember how to play the piano and she found this great joy every day in the home she was living in at sitting down at the keyboard that part of her brain still worked and playing music. That made the people around her happy and made her happy. So i think that we fear what we don't know and we don't know dementia is or alzheimer's is our as the person who has it. But perhaps it's not a dark fearful place that we think it is. I think it's more the fear of getting there. That is so disturbing to us. Giving give support someone dear to your heart can be a real blessing woohoo. You made it very simple for you. To offer a memorable give your loved. One will surely cherish for the rest of their life. Help him or feel appreciated in value right now. They might need more than you think. Go to georgia and banta dot com slash woohoo or visit lincoln. The description to find out more and their stand and for for the people that have All the relatives that are in those situations Do you have any tips to have any ways of For them deal with it easier. I think it's important to keep talking to those people for one thing not necessarily to a to bring them back but just to be present in their life for wherever they are ever they are and i think that part is important. I also think that as a caregiver. It's very important to take care of oneself and realized that it takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to take care of an aging parrot who might have health concerns but the same is of taking care of a of a small child. You don't leave a two year old alone. In the house you know with access to the oven Or or some of your things and so it's a similar kind of thing. It's kind of like you know book. Ind parenting. But one gin. We fear this decline in older age. That often doesn't come sometimes. It comes just in that small window and this is the one of one of the things that i've looked. There was a wonderful Study done here at harvard Valiant i leave was the doctor's name who oversaw this harvard study which is one of the longest ongoing studies about aging and he said you know aging with all its physical decline in mental decline. Isn't really as bad as we think it is. And at the end of the day. It's not so much you know the numbers on your blood pressure or your blood test that count. It's the gratitude that you have in your heart. It's another reason to cultivate gratitude and appreciation as we age so that as we get to a point where we begin to recede from life. I believe that it is easier to let go when we are seeing most definitely most definitely and I think like you said actually If things are going by so fast as we get older and at least until a certain point and when we have the time to just meditate on them we have the option to be on the grumpy old lady or men or The the grateful on the one that is appreciative of all of the gestures of the neighbors of family or of nature and all of the experiences that he or she had until that that moment in time because like with the with the experiences that we have right now. I believe that one sweet yet to have more time and look back at all of the experiences that we had. We have this option to choose to be bitter about all the things that didn't work and also we can choose to to be grateful for for those experiences network. Beautiful isn't yes. And i think it's also an opportunity to be grateful for the stuff that didn't work is yours a kind of Texturing to the heart. That creates empathy empathy and compassion are not created by a smooth sailing life empathy and compassion are created in one. Because you've had some rough spots because you've suffered because you know grief and so the hard stuff of life as well as the joy and celebration of life began to get closer and closer together and they sit side by side in our heart and that's another way of of holding life and and loving life. You know every clueless bad decision bad choice that you ever made. That's part of what made you who you are two and full acceptance of who you are as we get older you know. I think it prepares us for that. Ultimately that ultimate letting go that how we live life has everything to do with how we die not to sound morbid about that but to to nourish our souls for that moment. When you know the inner d- he returns to that from which it came. That's really a beautiful thought. I will become stardust and again that's really beautiful perspective and yeah i love it and love it And i wanted to ask you something. That's that's more personal for me It's a challenge that That i'm now facing It's it's a bit hard for me to see my parents yet. Hold and knowing that they once were like my dad was so strong and now he he lets me carry things that he didn't let me in the past for instance or my mom when that was very Very careful tall. All details related to the house. At now shes not that Thorough in some aspects. And for me. The first feeling that that i felt was was sadness. Somehow it was really hard. See them like that. You know like your heroes are I know they are No longer capable or as capable of of being your heroes from prompt. Some points of view and And wondering what. What's your perspective on this. How how we can Have a better protrero And deeper perspective on this. I think deeper perspective on this is to realize that all age takes place against a backdrop of grief and grief is one of the greatest transformative forces in life. But now you can get stuck in it or you can face it and walk through it. Your mom may be leading scorer on. She just doesn't feel that she has to do it all anymore. Your dad doesn't feel like he has to carry it all anymore. That's a blessing to them. And the fact that are still moving slowly through the world It is her roic to to age with some is her roic takes courage to get up every day one more day and i'm going to find the things i'm grateful for. I'm going to fire something joyful in today and it's it's in. I think that as i get older. It's the smaller things. It's not the big things anymore. It's that first cup of tea in the morning at sweet black tea that i loved so much. I've been drinking every day since i was probably thirteen years old. I like to sit on the front porch. And just watch with that. But heroes don't necessarily connote The strength of holding up buildings i. I often say to women. Women's courage isn't gold. Bans on your wrist and a gold breastplate like wonder woman women's which is more often like skinned knees and baby barf on your shoulder and the courage of growing older isn't so much that you can still do what you did. But that you are facing a brand new horizon that you've not traversed before and there's no rulebook there is no guidebook and that you're going to walk it anyway. That to me is that's so true. That's so true. And it is a wonderful perspective for love love and appreciation for good to decry to honestly you know from your story inciting to feel the sorrow until it when self cry tears are cleansing. And there's a lot of love and years if you've ever noticed after you've had a good cry it's like your heart just feels open and so give oneself to the grief and the tears so that the heart becomes more open. That's the transformative force of grief. Yeah once you actually let yourself feel it it. It can be transformative and it can lead to something even deeper and even more beautiful and i love that and Since we're we're nearing the end of our time together. I wanted to ask you a little bit about your new book. Critics rising unlocking the power of midlife women. Can you tell us a little bit. More about the tend wear audience can get it. The book is available for preorder. Now you can get it at Bookshop dot org or bound dot org. The book create tricks. Rising create tricks is named that. I'm using to substitute for the word. Krone and krohn entered the lexicon sometime in the thirteen hundred means disagreeable women and no woman. I know once that title stoke crea tryst is It is a word that means a woman who makes things and around me in my country. I see women finding your voice at fifty sixty seventy eighty years old and this was evidenced by two big markers in just asked a few years. The first one was the women's march of twenty seventeen. Where so many women came out in force and marched together in unity and the second one that was the following year. two thousand eighteen. More women ran for local state and national office than ever before in the history of this country. And so now you're seeing lots and lots of women in leadership. Roles that are in their fifties sixties seventies and they are creating sees. They are the create tricks so this book is about Unlocking your power doesn't mean that there's a power on the outside of you needs. There's this great tremendous power on the inside of you. And it's not a power of something it the power of compassion. It's the power of forgiveness. It's the power of gratitude. It's the power of being awake and aware living life fully and with as much love as you can. that's what created. Drowsy is about an. It's told through my personal stories. And the stories of women that i've known well that's wonderful and indeed. We're we're leaving some amazing times and I'm really happy. I believe that we really need this kind of energy. And when you the kind of nurturing that the the women can bring because men are are great from many points of view day many qualities but I believe that forest enjoy balance and for forest. Enjoy an even more beautiful world. This is necessary for for all of us. And it's it's amazing that there are Create like you like to call them. That are doing this work. And that are taking us to to the next level. And i'm really curious how the world would be in. I dunno than twenty years after all of these Has managed to do what they that. What being vision. Because one of the one of the things that i i've seen at least in my experience even though i'm young Experienced sexually is very helpful with seeing different patterns. That once. when you're very young you you just can't see them. You're just in your in your square and You try to experience the world and Understand it as much as possible but as you age please. This is how it has been for me as i aged Ib i began to see different patterns. I began to understand how things work. And i dare do something to change them or accept them and Create the way in which. I can adapt so that it makes sense for me and Yeah i think this is one of the gifts of Aging right yes yes to to embrace all of it to st all of it. We don't awaken just once do we. We awaken and we reinvent ourselves again and again and again and that holds true even in one sixty seventies eighties nineties. We can awaken and grow until the day we die. It's so true and it's up to us to to reinvent who we are and what we do and and everything so we have. We can have unlimited new beginnings and different directions for our lives. So i think this is another Amazing things that that we can Think about so stephanie. Thank you for all of the things that you've shared with us. Thank you for all of your mazing. Tips and ideas and wisdom and Yeah let us know. Where can all our can origins get in touch with you. You can find me at byline dash stephanie dot com. And there's a way to contact me on that site. And i enter all emails perfect perfect once again. Thank you very much. It has been a real pleasure. Thank you so much.

david stendhal rast alzheimer's dementia george bente George bente stephanie komo Joan chichester Ruffalo lincoln lou silent Sally harvard Valiant nadu romania vienna sally missouri holt
Movie dogs and a more than hundredfold foster dog mom

Top Dog Podcast

58:06 min | 1 year ago

Movie dogs and a more than hundredfold foster dog mom

"This program is rated D. for dog. It contains sniffing scratching and doggy themes. Hello and welcome to the top dog podcast where we meet people who do amazing things for and with dogs. My name is Adrian `Pisco. Let's see what's in it for you and for your dog. Know I wrote that book because I had fostered one hundred dogs and. I couldn't believe that there was still such a huge number of dogs endanger an still needing rescued and. I kind of got to the point where I had a very difficult dog and I wrote about her in the book probably one of the hardest definitely the hardest at that point and so I started to think I don't WanNa do this forever? Am I going to be rescuing dogs on eighty? I can't continue to foster forever I decided that I needed to go see what was happening. So she did and she witnessed some heart wrenching moments in dog who's in the south of the United. States. The American author and Dog Rescue Advocate Karasu Hochberg. We will talk to her about her this book, one, hundred dogs and counting one woman ten thousand miles on a journey into the heart of shelters and rescues. I think at the end and connection recite. The stall in Jason. Every day arrived in my. Be. Everybody. Just reading when they saw him and. Nobody said Jason Momoa Bentiu it took knit ski the proud mum of the Movie Dog. Star. Mister big bigger than the international star Jason Momoa. From the movie man this is one of the many movies and commercials bent as dogs performing and Bente will tell us hold the gossip. This is the Paddock Iron Brit. The tornado carried me all the Red Cross that big boulder over there since dogs do not have the best eyesight stelter could only recognize a black dot in the far distance. The very end of the paddock seemed melt together with the sky. She took a deep breath and continued on. A, big and challenging maybe dangerous journey laser pirate the Barking Kookaburra and his foster steles a the dog, this episode number thirteen in our audio book series about lost Kookaburra and his friends, a bunch of kind and funny dog soon. Stay. Karasu October is an American author of writer novelist blogger and dog rescue advocate. She also teaches workshops on intentional living and creative writing characteristic lifts in New Freedom Pennsylvania with her family with chickens, horses, and a constant stream of foster dogs. She has a couple of bestselling novels in pocket and recently published a new book, one hundred dogs and counting in the subtitle. It's it's. About. One, more than ten thousand miles on a journey into the heart of shelters and rescues characteristic. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Now what does the title of Your New Book suggests that you have been a false the dog onto one hundred dogs yeah. So now it's one hundred and seventy five dogs. That's why you called and counting. That's right. Sequel is sort of in. The in the drawer? We'll see I don't know that that's between my agent, my publisher and me we're talking about things but nothing like nothing like that my one, hundred, seventy, five dogs that ease a lot of dog of don't know how many years and I will ask you questions about that a bit lighter I want to know now is that actually what inspired you to write that book the looked after so many dogs. Me Now I wrote that book because I fostered one hundred dogs and. I couldn't believe that there was still such a huge number of dogs endanger and still needing rescued and I kind of got to the point where I had had very difficult dog and I wrote about her in the book probably one of the hardest. If definitely the hardest at that point and so I started to think I, don't want to do this forever. Am I gonNA be rescuing dogs when I'm eighty I can't continue to foster forever. So I decided that I needed to go see what was happening because if we fostered one hundred dogs and we had made it then then. Obviously, there's a bigger problem. And so I traveled to the shelters I started going down to the shelters. Meeting the people that were there trying to figure out why? Whereas this endless stream of dogs coming from and that's That's why I wrote the book because what I discovered when I was down there I just realized. I. Didn't know that when I was up to my eyeballs in foster dogs than the average person doesn't realize how many dogs are still. Endangered now in new book is that you discovered things in these shelters that broke your heart. Can you tell us what you found maybe without breaking our Hans if possible? Challenge in writing the book was to tell the story without breaking hearts because you know everyone says, Oh, I don't WanNa read a book about a dog it will make me cry. The heartbreaking stuff for me. Yeah. You do meet dogs that you know aren't GonNa ever make it out of that shelter. So that's that's really hard but many times there's a reason for that. For. That particular. Dogs live out their lives in some shelters so. It's hard one some shelters. There are dogs that aren't GonNa make it out because maybe their dog aggressive maybe they've broken down from the stress of living in a shelter. There's to have health issues, but sometimes dogs that are sitting there on cement floors for year literally for years that to me is so heartbreaking that they very few shelters in the south of the US In a rural areas especially, very few of them have the money or the personnel for these dogs to get very much. Attention or engagement they don't have toys they don't have beds. The don't get treats sometimes a lot of times actually they don't get dewormed and they don't have. Flea tick preventative. So there's no, it's not a happy life and to me. I I don't know which is worse for them to be humanely euthanized or to to suffer for so many years I said that's that was sort of heartbreak for me. You know with the flip side is the people down there are there are so many people working really hard to try to make it better. It's just it's an enormous problem. Thing. We all know or have seen pictures from dog shelters overcrowded dog shelters. In seems to be universal problem an issue You know where that comes from is America different in that regard, and the rest of the world is the why do people get rid of the dogs? I don't know if the US is different because I haven't been to shelters and other countries and I know you know there are places where it's far worse But in the in a American south. it's a culture down in many places where they do not spay neuter their pets they let them run loose. So you combine those two dogs that are not contained in dogs at an isolated neutered and you end up with a lot of extra dogs and then there is you know there are other little factions of it. There are people who want to breed their dogs like backyard breeders, especially reading pit bulls. chihuahuas seemed to be the shelters are drowning in two hours and pit bulls. and. So I think that I don't know if that's universal enough that's everywhere but just the not spaying neutering, and then just this attitude of I wouldn't bring this animal into my you know they don't bring the animals into their house. They're not family members in a lot of dog people think of their dogs as a family member and we can't imagine making our dog live in the yard but it's the flip side down. There are many places where they could never imagine you know they just assumed bring a donkey in the house they're not going to bring. They wouldn't bring the dogs in a house and. You know. so that creates a different situation in I think in the rural south in the US. Has the corona pandemic made a difference in in Australia as an example as the country went into lockdown. In light marks it became more and more difficult to adopt a rescue dog and even fostering dog people being locked into their homes wanted a companion and got themselves dog. who also is that also the case in the USA That was absolutely the case in the beginning you know March. April. May. there were dogs. You know a lot of shelters emptying out especially in the northeast in cities and also in the south, they were definitely feeling that you but there were also places that. The the government runs shelters, especially public shelters where they were just they were shutting down and and so any dog that couldn't get out to be fostered or adopted or move by rescue was being euthanized and didn't happen in huge numbers because so many people stepped up to help. So that was a wonderful thing. But now here we are what six months later and We have we had three months where there were no spay and neuter surgeries that was an elective surgery. So that has set us back. I don't even know how long. So they are. You know kittens by the bazillions at ills like in the shelters plenty of unwanted puppies were born and a now as it drags on and people are struggling economically. I just touched base with a couple of shelters one in Mississippi and one in. North. Carolina and another in South Carolina to find out you know how is it? How is it now and they're seeing a ton of dogs coming in the North Carolina I was told the numbers are right back where they were prior to this same number dogs coming in August is a huge month for them every year. People getting rid of the dogs I guess before they go back to school I don't know. Why that timing is what it is, but now you know people can't take care of their families so they can't take care of their dogs. So they are dumping dogs. So the shelters are filling backup and many of the rural places. You're pointing the finger at the crisis itself. So you do think should actually look agreed that book and locally look at problem look at the crisis and try to find a solution who should do that I. Think it's irresponsibility I think it's I. Think our government should be and just like we we pay, you know public we pay taxes and and so we get services like snow removal or you know trash. Pick up or whatever that is that we're paying for our services police protection. We domesticated dogs that that's on the human race. We're the ones that did it, and now we leave these dogs to fend for themselves and kill them because they're a nuisance and and so I feel like it's our responsibility and in a well run shelter also should not cost any government a lot of money a well run shelter. Should be doing progressive programs. The has has the foster program. Volunteer program has a good system of vetting the animals and becoming a community resource so that they can offer locale cost spay and neuter so that they can offer training help so that they can offer economic help when it's needed. Some surrendering our dog because they can't afford dog food. Well, that's easy. That's an easy fix. You know there's a lot of. Yeah I feel like if the government were to. Initially. Fund. Shelters and put progressive leadership in charge of those shelters it's not going to be an expensive thing. Adoption fees are GonNa end and fundraising and. Using foster homes volunteers to work with the animals that those are not. A those are moneymakers. You know they're not gonNA they're going to help fund the shelter itself so I don't. But. If you don't even have a building and you don't have a government that cares about that it really makes it tough I. mean there are Shining Star rescues out there that are managing to do some of this and be self sufficient but. It would be a lot easier if they had some kind of consistent. You know regulations and systems in place to do it. Recruit call your book sort of a contribution to the solution of the problem, but also you are. You fostering dogs an individual like me or any other dog lover would that be already a lot if we went out there and foster dogs and try to help find a new home for the dog does. Contribute to to the solution of the problem. Oh absolutely strings they answer in so many ways because a dog and a shelter is suffering no matter what the best shelter it's not a good life for a docs. Now, not a place where they're gonNA, you're GONNA see their best selves. So it's already automatic rate they're harder for them to get adopted because they're stressed. They may not medically be one hundred percent. There's just a lot of reasons why but in a foster home, you get to know that dog you get to know when we have a dog I and someone for instance, this little catalogue I have Right now. She's smart as a whip. She's Super Bowl. She's a little. She would definitely kill your cat. These are all things I could tell you. But if she was in a shelter you, which is see she's really pretty in a shelter you say this really pretty dog that barks a lot and I don't know and and I can manage her and I can tell someone else how to manage her and she is a once in a lifetime cool dog that you can do all kinds of things with but left in a shelter. I don't know that she would ever get adopted. So fostering I, think is the answer down the Road I. Think you know in in cares dreamworld. We would have fostering would be with the dogs will come into the shelter they get evaluated they get sent to foster homes, and that's how it worked for me, and that's again why I say I don't think it would cost that much for. For governments to pay for shelters because if you use fostering well and if you a community resource, if you you know how are neutering then I think you get this problem under control pretty easily just right now it's scattershot it's impossible to do it. Let's follow you example. Let's foster dog if you've done one hundred and seventy five time. So how easy or difficult is it on how rewarding? It depends on the dog but I've foster for a rescue and Aubrey rescue and they have really good partnerships with the shelters that they work with. So we can pretty much trust the evaluation. So I have a little idea of a dog what the dogs going to be like before it gets to my house and as a foster and I. Think this is true of anywhere you foster you choose what dog you're gonNA. Foster you not just given a given a dog. So I know what's going to get along with my personal dogs. So. It's like having my kids always said, it's like we get a new dog every two weeks when they were younger they thought it was really cool. You know. So some of the dogs they love and they were their best friends and then other dogs they're like, when are we getting a new way? They would be tired of it. Because every dogs different, they're all individuals and so. You know it's I don't I. Don't think it's that hard if you're fostering for a good organization that's giving you good support. it's it's actually really fun. Most of the time I would say it's really fun. Yeah. They're carefully if you do one, hundred, seventy, five dogs are going to have a couple of hard ones in there that are going to challenge you but by and large I count on my hand the number of dogs. that. I really struggled with through most of them. They're just dogs you know they're fun and they're easy and and and And I always like privilege and always a shock to me too like how did this amazing dog ended up in a shelter I think that a lot of the dogs that we have. The have you ever fallen in love with doggone didn't want to give it away on still with you or has been with you for a long time. Well you know in the beginning, it was every single dog. We would have to have this conversation with a family like why we're not keeping this. And it was always because if we keep it, we can't we can't get another eventually did actually in two thousand, nineteen I adopted. A dog that I met in a dogpound in Tennessee and I wanted to see her through. She should have died in that dogpound because the dog pound is the worst place to land in the United Sates in western Tennessee I would say. Not Every dogpound western Tennessee I've actually come to meet some pretty. Surprisingly awesome once but most of them, they're just holding pens they literally put the dogs in the Penn they hold them for their legal stray hold, which is a I think three to five days depending on your county and then they have them killed. And so I met her in that situation and those this heartbreaking to see year like that and I wanted to see her all the way through and she's a little pit bull mix and she's incredibly shy. So I knew she'd be really hard to get adopted and so we kept her. So that's my fantasy girl she was was hanging around here with me but. Yeah it's all right. You know making that decision every time is harder on some people but if you look at it as this is my and I've always done it, I've always done. This is I. Look at it. This is my my job is to get prepared this dog for their family. I'm not family I'm like a babysitter I'm just helping them. And keep them safe until their family shows up. Introduction also did you teaching workshops on intentional living? Can you please give us a showed overview? And At the one hundred and seventy-five foster dogs so far an influence or impact on your teaching or you've you've live for your view of the world. So, intentional living was I used to write about organic Again, am my my youngest son who is now eighteen when he was a toddler was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that alopicia area and it's not treatable and they don't know what causes it but they do know that there's an environmental trigger it's genetic. There's a genetic piece to it, but there's an environmental trigger so as a mom. As. Young mom I you know I took that and ran and I made our entire lives. I took everything toxic out of our world and this was before there was organic grocery. You know like a organic stuff in the grocery store. So I had to get to know farmers I had to go get stuff mean it's probably I. Think. You guys are probably further along in this and Australia than we are here. finding people, the people who actually make the food and getting the food, and then You know we raised chickens and we have a bazillion gardens, and so I was learning how to do all that. Make my own yogurt make cheese make peanut butter, make whatever ice cream so that the kids would have the stuff that they expected. And Trying to take all any kind of toxic toxic out of our environment. So I spent few years doing that and I wrote a lot about it and I wrote articles I freelanced, and so people kept asking me well, how do you do? How do you make yogurt? How do you make read? How do you? Can. Canning. was everybody wanted to know how can we were? You're canning at Tanah stuff because we needed to have it year round. So I started teaching that. From there I called it intentional living because it's not just what you eat. It's it's how you treat the world. It's how you treat other people. It's how you spend your time. It's where you spend your money, all of those things, and so I wrote a book about it And Self published it because the time I was a freelancer and I tried to be a novelist and I didn't have a clue how how to get truly published. So I self published that book. And started teaching workshops and that was really fun meeting people and and the stuff that to me was like so basic they had. You know they didn't. We're so far removed and hasn't many generations, but you know from when we had to grow making process our own food but people are very far removed from it now. So it was a lot of that and just. Talk. Being being better to this earth and better to our communities, better to our selves and our families and so that's what that was about and the dogs Kinda came along and. They did sidetrack me a bit because. They. There wasn't as much time you know and they interrupt a lot but. We. Still do that. We just canning yesterday morning. All think. So you're saying, this is the only impact, the dog's head on your intentionally leaving. That the disturbed you have in Alan would be more behind did wouldn't. Say That I, say that off the cuff but. They, they also teach us to be very intentional because Dr present there you know there's no like they're not worried about the future or the past while some are a little worried about the past they've had a bad past but. They're so present and they and also I know that what I do how I react is going to affect this little dog that's just come to my house from shelter who may emotionally be really really distraught and vulnerable. And so I have to be very intentional about Lok. For instance, if you have a young dog where you leave your shoes where you leave whatever on the dog I have right now is highly competitive and She will definitely start a fight over a toy or treat. So I have to be really intentional about where how interact with her and the other dogs and where everybody is so I do. Do, dogs, make you be present and I think that is definitely a piece of living intentionally as being present and in what you're dealing with right now right in front of you mounted dogs and counting, we can save on hundred and seventy-five dogs in candy would not ride ties. Lee said again, one hundred dogs and counting book by Kara. OCTA. It's available in every bookshop if not, then definitely online and maybe on your website, which is www dot Kara rights dot com Cara thank you very much. For Your insight into into foster dogs world. Thank you. Now, imagine. Glamour Glory. Fame movie star Paparazzis smiling at flashing lights admiration and applause from all sides. No. Not You. But your dog Bentley Duke Nikki in Queensland. Australia works in the Glitzy ritzy movie world. Thanks to her dogs which she has tried to be movie stars but how glamorous and glorious his that world really let's find out. Hello, bent. Adrian, we've got this cased talking communicating with dogs and you make big great use of that gift. You're actually training movie dog. So you have dogs that are. Actors and actresses tell us more about that. So how does that work so so you? Dogs or dogs in the meantime just recently a little property. He's now only ten weeks old. on him for he has a new future. Movies. He's a little Jack, Russell terrier, our ain't. The reason I want him to. Maybe I never was really interested in Jack Russell terriers unlike the looks of them but. I always had big dogs before maligned life I was actually really into white German shepherds who shepherds for walk on box for the movie world out say that every single line when I heard from my agency always. Jack Russell on a Jack Russell Cross. In. So in this time in particular breed, a movie will would like and not so much more I want sites. Over How to say more like a business decision this time not like I. Love. The don't get wrong but yeah, it's it's definitely all the time that they will jack russells onto him said. And I would say that in particularly 'cause they also have the in so wiggly and so. Not. Easy to train but they are very trainable in very active and. Yes so Just recently finished a movie on a couple of months ago and well, my dogs is actually the euro doc in his movies. So it's a romantic movie that gets and on Netflix six. Horn Romans on the menu Romans on the menu. Agai. AC- your always get asked by people about the film would be saying approach your law like on how did you get that in? How did you end up doing? Montgomery Pretty. Radian. In your ass maybe they have a little donation. Awesome. If they WANNA have used my dog. I have a really good story just from last week My, the there will a little TV commercial here and they were looking for A. Healthy dog. So it was all gonNa farm scene and they will. Not. Going to. One of my dogs is a border Collie County Cross, but he looks a little bit more like short hair or call. Awesome. Yuppie, but he's very well trained and he would have done the job very well but declines the. For the TV commercial thing wondered if Australian looking So they actually booked in eight months or a county for the job. My dog was booked as back up just in case the album Koby. Out So then it ended up in the lady who owned the dog she put in putting Congress on they said, all you going anyway can detect this note with you. Anderson. Is You. Try. And they said all year, he can do whatever they wanted it for the script. And, I took the dog in. What it was supposed to do so on a little bit. I was like I knew how will put down a same scene so. People always say it's quite easy or being on film set on it's absolutely not like for example, if you go can stay in your in front of you hold the trade and they just sit for maybe even. Thirty seconds. Also box what the dog has to do on film said Sit on the spot. Chill, they already tell the actors said till the Ladies Ready fixing the here again, putting up on y off some switch. Then the camera are just in front of the dog veges moving stop they had the clap of what they call out the number on this aboard, and then you have to go sometimes even outside you can't be seen in the scene in what so your dog still has to sit there and can take up to a three or five minutes on the usage distractions, and this is what people have train the dog. So he it is not enough that the dog can see for thirty seconds with Human Front of holiday retreat about you're actually shuttering. Dreams of many dog owners. Now, it happened to me once that I could witness a film scene onset and to me, it's more everybody thinks he's an exciting thing to watch how immunity gets a shots but it's more like as you explained before it's more like a waiting game because has to be ready and that does take time. So you're actually try new dog to be patient that's. All it needs somebody look good as well but mainly to be patient and to be very, very, very obedient and it's either long long way and you never know when you're seeing this is necks or in case no wanted to sit people the dog that has euro major main role in it. Then you'll busy ongoing or up to twelve hours a day. So then you just never seen in just. That the dogs have to induced to that as well and What I do is under trading raiding, the dogs particular on the few works by Dukes. Actually everyday trained by my lifestyle I'd take them everywhere. I'm stopped very early taking them to have faced and. When I say I have four dogs imagine you had four on trying knocks entitlements. How many leashes would be wrapped around chairs and tables in Stop jumping up on waitresses all. Guests. All Stop Barking at people walking past with with the dogs or kids on skateboards. I. Do that are in my everyday life just teach them to come and lay down in. That's my main thing folks. Is really how wrong with me before said, often, you can't be seen in the scene as. Off Camera as you talking about yourself and it also means that you have to be quiet because the sound is being recorded at the same time. So how do you do that with your dogs? He conscious yell your dog and say seats and stay to use sign language yes depends. On what they just taught obscene on do sometimes I'm loud to talk to them in in sometimes it's. Necessary even if it's a really difficult saying, but most of the time actually have to teach them doing things in the distance. In. On on hence signal only on my wife, we were feeling for a TV series that hasn't come out yet at one of my dogs is. Behind A. Swimming Pool fans. And he's finding a dead audience in this living pool. So he's just running from A to be like A. Line in his offing extensively to tell the own of Sora dead body in there. And so where I had to be in this particular one. Could be. Seen. Withdrawn from. Insulated No, which company. So I ended up sitting in a in A. House that didn't use you as the body that would have been. But I was sitting in the little house and the doctrine Siemian Ola and this one in particular I could only tell with my voice. Then again, if people now starting Nixon that scene, it's the Doghouse, you oil visiting this little how was your voice sounds completely different because it's it's it's not either by the doors and so you still need to tell the dog to ron to be an accessory. So that was a difficult while was actually one of the more challenging one, but he did quite well of the dead body messed up. Now all the people stream that you have shattered with the with. The insight into yesterday's live for film shooting is sort of get the sense that shooting a movie is not only pure fun. It is hard work as well not the other element as. Catering you know because you are more or less trapped on the set you conscious go out in to a cafe and have lunch. You have to be onset often somewhere in the desert or up on the mountain. So you. The food is being brought to you so-called catering. That's okay for you. Yes. The dog owner what about your dogs to are they look after today, get the special food delivered Dole cope with that. So the food situational, the traits we call the police for the dogs is. Hammered to send up to the owner. On, Film said nobody is allowed approach dogs or other dogs on teams are in a mode. So they really make sure how they really treat them a little bit of service stocks. You know the ones they. Walk with over the blind person for. So they are really really make sure that the dog is actually only doing what I'm telling you to do when it's ready for the scene. So usually when you have on said, everybody comes and wants to. Hug them and have a follow in. A selfie and it can be quite disturbing. The dogs yet it hot work ready I, actually because it is. I recite is like I get paid. That day. I WanNa be Stingy Person privacy. It's so he should be paid. As, well, as I am on film sets up, usually bring really thinks a are. Special high value to them reduce. Definitely. Be Stay on barbecue chicken. I have an air fryer normally put beef liberal chicken liberation and yeah have the riotinto doctorates Disney or the day and yet the catering sometimes we get along they often have like chicken than I take a few left overs. Beat that to the dogs later and yet quite more. To. While the after all movie stars and. Big. Stars on film said stay they do get special treatment after came after own dresser. The have their own makeup artist is that the same dogs to get their own camper van? Not Not for particular for what other level we are ever more when it's not like a like a Hollywood movie. So at the moment like what the most I we maybe it was one of my dogs is in the movie American, which isn't taking Hollywood blockbuster movie and there was a lady she was. So it was a CO production with America and they had an American lady thrown in and she was only had to look after the dots. So she had to make sure I had enough water they had enough rest in between lead enough. Yet they felt well that that went dressed spending all sweating or salivating or anything. So she arrest the holiday and just took notes on the dogs for actually renewal adopt up which they are they. Can you might be reminded us which seen that was your dog was in the movie woman account remember a dog. That's a funny story. I was on film central two weeks. Up to twelve hours a day. And it was one scene they felt in that time. was. Playing around. Out So the main actor Jason memorialized talking to Inva- hers in I. Think He's giving her a little book around the foul in this it's all playing with each other people and. Sit in a and Chevy. So my dog is walking with one of the Italian CI Nejd. Girls. In the only thing you can see. Him Behind the out you. Know Way is an I see that she's voting beliefs Forty days and I was like treated like A. I think at the end and going to actually but was the. Stall in Jason Momoa. We see every day we arrived in my dog's name is big. Everybody just screamed when they saw him and Mr. Bankers. Nobody that about Jason Momoa. On. And you can see. How did miss the big feel like when you watch the movie then to get on, you watch the movies together with your dogs and then meets the big whiting was big senior Conoley see the leash how did he or she? React to. Albany the anyway. So yeah. I actually have to say that. Say that. Is Reading the title movie five would usually watch the took me a couple months and we watched it and I just scrawled bag on like reminded in still for the dog. I I couldn't believe that I. Got High Forty days that many hours onto and. You. Know you make it sound easy. Again, a movie work, but it's not as we find out now was actually one of the easiest. Because, he only had to walk. For folding days who? It was then at the end I would say the repetition that got the little because it was just like repeatedly again and again and again, and this is maybe another one to add to what is it before that they have to be so good in in a in a sit stay or an a drop stay of the also need to have the urge to. Love what they're doing, and then repeated like sometimes they repeat the scene twenty three times and the Pistons with over and over and over again now, I wanted to still some hopes for some people. How did he get into into this business? How did it all happen? I started movies on first jobs were actually TV commercials this normally a one day or half a day. And they want one particular trick. This is how as Auden I. The trick we had to do on on this particular one was to have a hole in a top. In the dog had to learn to pull the head through, and that's all he had to do that see and then slowly. Up on their Bentley to meet Ski, you've got the website. Bent is dog training, Dot Com dot a u you're based in Queensland Australia. So who? Wants, braise movie staw you probably are the based dress to go to and we're looking forward to the movie romance on the Menu. It's a movie on Netflix and is it Mr Beacon that movie or WHO's in the? Big. and His name in the moebius fetch spinach or the look out for him and thank you very much again. Time for a new episode of the audiobook pirate. The Barking Kookaburra we are up to tap to thirteen if you have joined us today and have no idea what has happened so far in this story, then I recommend you better catch up you can go back to the top dog podcast episode number eighteen where we started with the audible with the first chapter. It's worthwhile because it is an interesting top dog episode. Anyway, we talk to Calvin McDonald's the manager of the company Brew Dog in Brisbane Prudhoe is offering its staff maternity leave for dog owners. So called Porter not leave. But now back to the audiobook, pirate the Barking Kookaburra. So. Far Pirates Lost Bird who suffers a Mesia is being looked after by a bunch of dogs Steles, e Ajax and hoover and the cat. Buddha as he grows up, he realizes that he's neither a dog nor a real bird because he can't fly, but he knows how to bark. During. A thunderstorm pirate has a deja Vu moment and remembers vaguely the journey that brought him to the dogs in the first place stelter is forced to Doghmane has decided to take him home. It's a journey full of challenges. Pirates set comfortably on stilts. His Nick he's claws firmly wrapped around her Kala stelter carefully waded through the high breckon down the steep slope to the bottom of the gorge. At the big pond she stopped for drink. The whole time pirate was staring back at the top of the gorge. What are you looking at? Said pirate quickly. But he was lying actually he was keeping a secret he shared with Buddha Ajax and hoover. Beck at the farmhouse they had promised him behind stilts his back to follow in secret. Somewhere, on the way, they would come out of hiding. We'll walk the race to the Y. with your might with Stilton likes it or not. After all we are family we have to stick together. One Stilts had satisfied her thirst. She slowly made her way up the cliff on the opposite side of the gorge. At the top and out of the cooling shade, she stopped again looking in awe at what lie in front of a this is the panic I, remember it. The tornado carried me all the Red Cross that big boulder over there since dogs do not have the best eyesight, stilts could only recognize a black dot in the far distance. The very end of the paddock seemed to melt together with the sky. She took a deep breath and continued on the grass was high and prickly its toll as tips towering over stealth says nick. Pirates. Spread his wings and felt the stroking of the grass tips on these feathers. They tickled. He imagined it was the wind stroking his wings while he was flying. Every now and then stilts stopped and looked back. pricking her ease what are you looking at? Who are just checking that everything's alright. Stilts a continued walking very slowly. As if trying not to break the long grass, she carefully put one poor in front of the other. After a few steps she stopped and looked back again, pricking areas. This time. She was sniffing the air to what he's sniffing at is someone furloughing US oh no nonsense now who body is following us. But pirate became excited all of a sudden. He let go of stilts as caller and hope to the very end of her back. It's him. It's Ajax I. Know He's He wants to come with US better not. I told him to stay back and guard the farmhouse turnover. He'd never worked. Then, Venice footer only heights long walks they promised. Oh. What did they promise? Nothing Any way then he could. Be Tiger how do you know? Tiger. I met her in the backyard she she follows me wherever I go. She wants to play with me. Stilts ordered pirate to hop off and sit down in front of. She started telling off like furious mothers do with their naughty children never ever play with tiger. She is a vicious snake she's dangerous. She only pretends to play with you. She actually chases you she hypnotizing you. She takes away your will until you can't move anymore. Not. Even your little claws. And then. She Bites you. She poisons you with a long teeth. And soon after you will die. Soon three hours. That's very soon. After he had promised to never play with a snake especially tiger, he climbed back onto stilts nick. She continued to walk under the hot sun through the vast paddock the boldest still far away. Had Tongue was hanging out nearly touching the ground. She was panting so loudly and heavily the pirate could not hear the flies buzzing around his eight anymore. When she again stopped walking and looked back to sniff the air pirates started to worry. Thanks good. Is Tiger following US nobody is following us. Only making sure that no other snake is nearby. Snakes like to be in the high grass it protects them from their enemies because the con- be seen. That's why walk slowly. That way I won't step on one by accident. After many more stops they. Reached the boulder. STELTER was exhausted. The hate is killing me. We need a wrist. On the side of the boldest Seltzer lay down in a shady spot. Squeezing her exhausted body against the cool. Rock. She told pirate to stay on her nick. But she had hardly finished his sentence before she fell asleep in an instant. Pirate closed his eyes and tried to sleep too but he was not tired enough. He decided to stretch his legs and explore the boulder he hoped to the other side, and so a mouse rushing into the high grass. Wait for me during drought array. Let's play. He rushed into the high grass to quickly lost sight of the mouse where. There was a russell coming from behind thick bundle pirate was convinced that the mouse was hiding. Let's play hide and seek I have to find you fix lowly and carefully like stilts deed in the paddock, he put one foot in front of the other. After a couple of steps, he was close enough and jumped behind the bundle. God you he did. But stopped short as he found himself standing right in front of Tiger. He's heart fill all the way down to his knees. I got you. Hide and seek is my favorite game I. Still to said the year and they pretend to to play. Pirates started staring into ahead black and bottomless is stuff to said that you vicious and dangerous I. Know She slid around pirate twice fast and without a sound. Now he was trapped this time you want escape from the. I suppose you know what is going to happen to? Cook. To said that you'd have poisonous teeth. Paid attention to mixture, you are good students. What else it's desert say that you poison will kill you. Within three hours Oh. But she didn't tell you that you will die. Painful. Please ME. I look. I can go into. Peace she histon Riverton Mouth Wide Open pirates stayed in awe at the two long pointy teeth. He was frightened and screamed or rather box as loud as he could. Froth. Tiger stopped short what the Snake. With St was puzzled ogling pirate as if she could not figure out who award he was. Pirate jumped at the chance and started running. Stagich through the thick grass. Eked and screen same time. Chase after. She snapped game again, wanting to bite him. Stop. You. Pirate Ramsey's life out of the high gross around the Boulder to the shady spot where Stealth Soleil. STELTER was already up on her legs hide behind me tell buyers and jumped forward into tigers path. Before she could bargain her tigers soccer teeth into airport. A sales fell into a beck yelping throwing legs around. Tiga. Held on for while wiggling and swirling long body as if she was a word on a fishing will. Eventually. Let go was catapulted through the air she plunged into the pedic where she disappeared in the high grass big here you. Still to lay flat on her side gasping for need. The deep wrinkles on authority showed that she was in tremendous pain. placed. You must. You must be brave now hurt. I I must keep still. I have to stay here. Go go back to the farmhouse. Go and get help. I not leaving you learn please turn tie who now Run. Pirate was running through the paddock along the track they had lift in the grass on they way to the boulder. He's eyes were filled with tease everything in front of him was blurred. A long journey lay ahead of him. He needed to run faster. Still too will die within three hours. How long will it take him to get to the Farmhouse Willie make it in time. Fast. He told himself fast every minute counted. Please please let me fly. He prayed pushing his body off the ground while he was running. And as he spread his wings, he lifted off as if an invisible hand picked him up. He was now gliding in a smooth lon feeling the tips of the grass stems stroking his wings but all of a sudden he started to drift he lost his balance is he tried to flaps his wings and he was starting to tilt slowly at first from left to right and back again. But suddenly he toppled and eventually spiraled out of control. Like a deflated balloon gone wild, he plunged into the grass. To surprise he landed right between Buddha ejects, and over here I need come hell we stick to promise by we told you would follow. They must tell she's going to die. She was bitten by Tiga. Thank there at the Boulder, you could see the shocking Ajax and hoover's face. Buddha kept his cool though and told everybody what to do. We must take it to the hospital. You WanNA fastest runner. Go back to the farmhouse and get the master with these shoot in the meantime hoover and I will go to stelter. She needs us to confident. Part, you find the Kid Kookaburras we need to help. Kookaburras Must Find Tiga. The veterinarian at the hospital needs to know what kind of Sny CC's this is very important. He says crucial. Only then can give stelter the right treatment the right anti-venom. Back must deliver target to the hospital the faster the mirror. The KOOKABURRAS rarities. Everybody, do it now? Ajax had already run off Buddha and hoover rush towards the. Only pirate stood back. He was confused he was frightened to look for the KOOKABURRAS. How could he ask them to help? What if they bullied him again? Buddha. Looked back and yelled at pirate. You're GonNa do what you can do it. Now. Oh md. this probably is a real cliffhanger can still zippy saved find out in the next episode of top dog podcast. If you can't that long, you have the opportunity to actually purchase the whole audiobook pirate the Balking Kookaburra, you will find more information on the web side Boomberg dot com pirate the balking Kookaburra is also available as e book and paperback the Website Again. WWW DOT FHU boomberg. Dot Com and that's it. For today you find top Topdog podcast everywhere on the net or on your favorite podcast Porto and remember to leave a comment reload others exist. You can also ride to us if you wish a gen at top talk dot space or visit our website www dot topdog dot space, you find many many more episodes I. Adrian Visco thanks for listening. Bye for now.

United Sates Jason Momoa Buddha Australia boulder STELTER KOOKABURRAS Netflix Red Cross America Tennessee Nick he Karasu Hochberg Adrian `Pisco Bente New Freedom Pennsylvania writer publisher Hans
Trust As A Pathway To Gratitude - Anne Marie Pizzaro

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

33:18 min | 11 months ago

Trust As A Pathway To Gratitude - Anne Marie Pizzaro

"Yes it can be very scary and overwhelming when you realized you know there are these things called diseases. These things called money and debt. There are things called emotions. So i feel like when we practice that energy of gratitude. It's like that reset button that we pushed. That reminds us that no matter what happens. You're going to be okay. No matter what you fear as long as you remember to be grateful for your time here be grateful for your connection to source and be jus- grateful for that moment that you have been it somehow neutralizes everything else. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people. Discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgia bente higra to seeker. Welcome to a new episode of the gratitude. Cast our guest. They has owned and operated her own. Holistic practice by the energy connection allah for over fourteen years and is also a registered nurse with over twenty years of experience. She has worked with clients all over the world. In the cachique records integrated energy therapy and holographic the recombination. Her goal is to help you receive information and tools that elevate your consciousness and lines relies you which your souls path and maximize your impact in the world. Her name is animal. Pizarro and she is hewitt as right now and I believe in what they believe is going to be a very interesting conversation. So and welcome to the gratitude podcast. Thank you georgia. And i'm so happy to be here. And i really appreciate that and i appreciate. I appreciate the the enthusiasm So let us know little bit more about you that That they didn't mention in this short intro. Thank you yes. Well i have been a nurse for twenty plus years and i actually retired from nursing in two thousand sixteen to focus fully on working with my clients the caution records and the human energy field using et and this work has been the most transformational pivotal and evolving work. I've ever experienced because it really ties us into everything in life and it's also the most fun i've ever had you know. It's a lot of work to be in a holistic practitioner and entrepreneur. But when you can find meaning through how you influence an impact people's lives than in a way. It makes you so grateful for the work. You're doing because we're here for a short time on earth so i'm grateful that i can support people in their lives and impact them in ways that continues to last throughout their lives to beautiful mythical. And how did you go from being a nurse to being Listen practitioner well if it had always been my dream to have my own business and when i first started nursing so many years ago this was nine hundred ninety eight. I made a promise to myself that ten years from then i would be in a completely different field. Well ten years from that promise. I was still in nursing but had already started learning about how to work with caution records. It took me another six seven years to fully make that shift in transition. And i feel like the reason why it happened is because i was getting trained. Th really understand how to deal with people how to be diplomatic how to connect communicate and really be compassionate or where people are at. So what really shifted. Meat was when i received my first akasha record reading and i was only about twenty seven twenty eight years old in the information i got from. That session was unlike anything. I'd ever gotten from any kind of spirit work before that it triggered my curiosity and it was really my curiosity. That invited me to go down this path. And it's the path that apparently i've done in previous lives which is sort of like what just why stepping back into. It was a bit of a challenge and also invitation because i thought it prolong time so when i finally relaxed and stepped into it. That's when i really felt like i was picking care of by the universe in the struggle for money clients all those things just kinda ceased into the background so i could just be in peace with what i was scared to do this beautiful as beautiful so i'm sure that many of our listeners are thinking about what is actually These are cachique records. Could you explain a little bit. Absolutely there are two ways that i would describe acoustic records. One of the ways is that. It's like the universal computer and the other way is it's a collection of books of life and either way you look at it. They achieve one thing which is to collect data based on our souls experiences every ought action word emotion. Potential possibility is recorded in the acoustic records. And so it's as if when we make one decision. There are all these other potential decisions all these other potential paths that we can access but when we choose that one. Pack all those other. Potential papp's just dissipate into the ether. So i really feel like a classic records is sources way of collecting information for each and every individual consciousness. So that on a deeper love it can really no self. So when i look at the crash records as a universal computer it's really accessing this huge data bank of knowledge. That influences how we look at our lives so it gives us insight about our past. Lives are present circumstances as well as our future potentials and gives us insight also into the contracts that we have with other people the patterns and agreements that we have with ourselves and others. And also what we're here to accomplish souls. There are many souls who are continuing the work they've done from previous lifetimes. But when you come into this plane the three dimensional earth plane as soon as you arrive is a soul. You experience what i call spiritual amnesia so throughout this slack. You're really trying to remember in no on a deep level. What you're here to do so when you work with the acoustic records it cuts down that time of asking wondering by letting you know what your souls purposes what. Your major lessons are one of the things you're here to accomplish. And what are the obstacles that are in the way in in my experience with working with people for all these years when you shift your perspective bigger mindset or even your activities in how you live your life. Really amazing. Things happen miraculous. Things happen to most definitely see i. I've seen that happening in my experiences as well but they i wanted to numb to challenge you a little bit too to find out For instance how. How did you come to believe in in past lives like we might be the case for some of our listeners that they are not so sure about this topic so How did you get to believe it. Because i think as you mentioned The cash crackers are inter related to this belief that we we live multiple lives and this is not only experience here on earth or Experience of life in general correct. Yes well i honest. I'll be honest with you georgian. I actually never believed in past lives. Until i got my first akasha record reading and the reason why i didn't believe in past lives as i wasn't raised that way i wasn't introduced to me. Incarnation was something that my family believe then because we primarily grew up roman catholic. So when i got my first across chic record reading they really revealed to me what the struggle was. I was feeling within that moment that was connected to a pass life activity and they told me a particular storyline of what i had done who i was and then that storyline was like the puzzle that fit the other part of the story. Line that belonged to my ex husband at that time so i wasn't asking about past lives at all. It was just show and revealed to me in two thousand nine. I went to egypt for a twenty eight day. Spiritual journey every place that i went to. I opened my koschnick records. And each place that i went to that i opened my caution records. I'd receive a little snippet little fifteen second video of an image of that. I had seen or i had taken and it wasn't until the end of the trip that i actually got the big picture. All those little fifteen second images finally created a huge story and that story was so Descriptive and it was so complex that i realized this wasn't just my imagination. Creating it was like. I got to see an experience and hear some of the challenges from that life that was influencing this life so past. Lives this something that i normally work with. But it's one of the most frequent questions that people get. The i get in my sessions with people so this is something that i started to study and research when i was in my early thirties and it was a cycle. It's sort of like souls experienced these cycles and there are certain bodies of work that talk about soul cycles. How certain souls will come through this plane. Multiple times and essentially. It's sort of like the reason why these past lives exist. Are there like the rungs of a ladder that helps us soul step up higher and higher in its evolution so some akasha record leaders especially like edgar casey. He's one of the most well known across chic- record readers from the past and believes that some soles only have three to seven lives other readers. Believe that souls have many many more lives not only in this time but also in other planes so the thing is i wasn't looking for it. I wasn't even curious about it. It just kept showing up in a crush records over and over and over until i finally realized. Oh there is this link and there are some people that i work with that. Do not believe in past lives. So they don't ask those kind of questions related to their past lives and when they don't ask the record keepers just focus on. What is the present situation that they have but sometimes souls. We want to know the big picture. What brought us here. What are the contributing reasons for lessons and challenges and we have deja of moments. We have these feelings when we meet other people like i met you before you feel familiar the spiel so easy. And the reason why some of these situations feel that way because they've happened before that makes so much sense and now i've definitely had my my my fair share of experiences of this this kind as well like meeting people and getting the feeling that i i knew them and the before and that things were so natural land. Yeah i think it's. It's something really interesting that can Cannot basically be explained by the design might by science by by this material perspective And you need you need other ways of measuring get that right. Now aren't too Material to now to make sure that you that. I don't know Scientifics it's something that you know like it's something that you You know as being something true and It's it's something very personal that it's it's really hard to explain if you haven't had that experience yet. Yeah so Let's let's get back to to gratitude. How do you. How do you feel that gratitude relates this Very interesting topic of Ah casual records scotch. This is such a big question georgian. And i actually feel gratitude with each and every client that i work with and it is such a foundation. For how even practice because gratitude is really helpful connected to source. And when i opened akasha records there such an outpouring of gratitude i feel in being able to even be connected to be able to hear their messages see their signs and symbols to be able to see these clips these movements of information and transmit them to the people that i work with what i get from them are emotional outpourings of resonance or think me for how much the information filled in the gaps for them in their life or they are grateful for how they've been able to see a more expensive version of themselves so when they share with me bear gratitude. I feel that same gratitude as well. Because i know not making this up and i'm so grateful for this Ability that i've learned to be able to tap into sources computer sources database. Because i feel like it's a privilege to be able to have access to information that helps us know ourselves and gratitude is how i open on a start my day. Gratitude is how close and my day. And honestly when i experienced the state of gratitude working in the kasich records and makes me feel like i'm taking care of and it makes me feel like all the clients work with are also taking care of because we're really practicing from a higher place of awareness thanksgiving and also appreciation for each other for or the time that we spend. So there's a lot of outpouring of gratitude in each of the sessions that i have even though ones that don't seem to resonate in their dislike yet. This really sounds like my life. I still feel grateful anyway. Because they had the courage to show up that session. They had the courage to bring lur questions and they had the courage to be truthful with me so yet i feel like gratitude is such an important element this this plane of work because at the core of gratitude is really pressed. I really trust the relationship. I have with source and the relationship i have with the record keepers this beautiful indeed when we when we are grateful we trust that source. God universes working in our favor. Somehow it's Pronuncia if you know that concept down the opposite of paranoia that we believe that Good things are happening to us and People want would things for us. Something like that. Absolutely disliked life on earth isn't the easiest. We have all kinds of challenges from you know foods that we eat diseases that we have to relationship challenges so when you can experience moments of that pro neue and you know that you're being supported by the universe it makes the experience really enjoyable exactly. Yeah it's something very beautiful to to see the world in in in this way and like you said trust is very important and i believe that this is a key word trusting the process and i believe it's one of the reasons why why people ask about past lives because we we seek perspective. We seek a bigger picture in which we can trust that. It's going to be all right like liking the movies that will have a happy ending fry right and which is really interesting when you say happy ending because from my experience working with the record keepers at the very end of each incarnation. You sit down with your guide council. You're still council all your record keepers and they ask you one question. Which is did you accomplish all the lessons patterns and objectives that you set out as a soul in this life. That is the question they ask. they don't ask. Did you have a good time. Did you have a bad time was memorable. No it's very like black and white. Did you accomplish the past that you set out to do. It's a yes or no and so what's interesting is what you don't accomplish you have to return back and replay those karma those lessons so that you can get it right and when you practice that energy of gratitude i think it's that equalizing factor that allows you to be able to say well you know i tried my best. I feel like i accomplished what i could accomplish and i really tried to do the very best i could as a human being and i think those kind of answers really stack up merit points for you. The soul terms of your evolutionary process. Yeah most definitely and the biggest bar. I think listing in the present. Moment is the fact that it shifts your your vibration. It's not just focusing on things that don't don't work in your life and on the things that aren't how Using they're supposed to be in the moment but you're actually You're actually seeing those things that that were at our okay and they believe that's That's important wave seeing the world and living life otherwise it's it can be really daunting canary much about it. Yes it can be. It can feel very scary overwhelming when you realize you know there. Are these things called diseases. There's these things called money and debt there. Are things called emotions. So i feel when we practice that energy of gratitude. It's like that reset button that we pushed. That reminds us that no matter what happens. You're going to be okay. No matter what you fear as long as you remember to be grateful for your time here be grateful for your connection to source and be just grateful for that moment that you have been it somehow neutralizes everything else. Yeah that's so true and if we think about in any freer here right now we we're grateful for something in our life like many of the things that we fear that we feel unsure about like you said they just disappear because we are in that feeling of gratitude in in this moment and There's nothing else that's that's true in a way there's nothing else. There's just the moment and how are you. Choose to feel in that moment how you choose to seize that moment kinda defines what happens next beautiful and I'm really curious. What are some things that people people are really grateful for when when they do this These readings like what did they find out. That makes the most grateful. That's such a good question. All i'm going to focus on three topics that i think are the biggest game changers when i work with people and the akasha sectors the first is tied to worth. There's so many souls here on earth that deal with southworth issues. Not good enough. They don't love themselves enough. They don't think they deserve a better life. And when they find out that they are worthy and that sources grateful for them for coming down on this plane experienced life it completely ships their idea of themselves and out makes them feel like i am worthy. I am important. I do matter. So that's the first way where gratitude ships bear sense of self. The self worth aspect. The second is money when people show up in the caution records. They're usually three things. That is the key focus help love and money and when people find out that the core of their abundance the source of their wealth isn't the actual money that they're using the coinage the dollar bill the you on whatever you wanna call it. It's not that but at the core of their abundance is their relationship to source entrusting. That source is going to take care of them that ships their perspective. The third thing that really show up is love. People have this desire to know if they're in the right partnership there with the one or with their with their soul mate and what often comes to the awareness is when they give themselves permission the fall in love with themselves i then they actually have ample space in their heart to be able to love others. Whether that it's romantic love familial love or just friend love. So when people come in and discover some of their past life lessons piper love and how they've been able to evolve from that to really be a being of love on earth that's the key thing that makes them realize i don't have to hold it back for myself and by not holding back love for myself that i'm actually inviting love to show up in my life so it's an interesting question around love because there are people that ask what can i do. How do i bring people into my life. How do i find this one. What are the blocks are resistant to me. Having love when it really comes down to it. It comes back to work again. It comes back to that sense of gratitude for themselves and knowing that bear not only lovable but they are able to share that love with others so these are the three things that really show up the most in my caution concessions as very interesting interesting. And yeah i believe that loving and appreciating ourselves. This is very important whether we are looking for love. Or if we are in a relationship or like regardless of of this situation it's the basis of For the others to to comment into to be fulfilling basically so We're nearing the end of our time together and I wanted to ask you. What are some things that are grateful for right now. Well there are three things. I'm super grateful for right now. Actually really grateful for this conversation with you. Georgian lifting my up so high. It's early morning where i'm at. I know it's afternoon where you're at but this is such a great way to start my day. I am really super stoked with this conversation. Because i feel like it's just humping me up with energy it's thing a smile on my face and it's making see how easy the rest of my day is going to unfold the second thing i'm grateful for is just stepping into this work and trusting that the most highest care of me. I am so grateful for this. Because i resisted it for so long and nursing was really hard. Both physically mentally and even spiritually so. I'm grateful that i get to do the kind of work that bills playful and the third thing. I'm really grateful for is. I'm grateful for my family. I'm really grateful that i somehow chose right in this. Life chose the right people to be with the right mate to be and as i've aged it's just made me appreciate more the Finite time that. I have with each and every person so my goal is not to have any regrets in the end of this life and just by appreciating the relationships. I have no matter how dysfunctional may look from one angle or the other. It just helps me see that person and love them as they are. And i can just except somebody as they are then all the issues all the judgment all the criticisms they just paid and i just get the love the pure essence of them. So this includes my dogs my chickens my daughter my husband my parents. It includes the big picture of the whole world because i feel like it. Ripples out like a domino effect you know that's beautiful so I know that you'll be Starting some Courses or at least one in in the near future. Can you let us know a little bit about that absolutely. So i've spent the last three years teaching the kasich records while also seen clients in my practice. And what i realized is there are a lot of acoustic record teachers out. And there's a lot of different across you record books. You could read but there are some things that are missing elementary. The makes you be a very prolific reader and also a successful business owner. And that's where. I saw the gap. So i'm teaching twelve weeks. Program called becoming a classic records guy that starts january eleven twenty twenty one and this twelve weeks program entails two things it teaches you how to create a sacred space. How activate your channeling and medium ship abilities as well as learn how to work with the caution records and read akasha records for other people as you're learning this on the side you're also building a business so learning how to set your website up. Get your social media pages get your booking site all those things that you need to become a successful reader so by the time you're done with this twelve week program not only will you have a business that you can start marketing. You can also start seeing clients before you're even done with this program. And my goal is to support and certify as many acoustic record practitioners who can be successful business owners. Because one of the key messages that i get from all the readings is this. There's just not enough support people on earth whether you're a healer. A therapist coach a practitioner. There's just not enough of us on earth to deal with all of the problems and all of the questions of the people on earth. So this is the reason why. There's this huge group called the support crew. This is a group of beings and souls who agreed to come down to earth during this particular timeframe to support the evolution the awakening the enlightenment of all the souls around and it is happening at such a rapid pace that the record usually say there's just not enough so my goal is to do my part in the support team teach and train people who want to learn how to read the records and be successful and sustainable in it beautiful. I think there's there's a quote. But i remember it perfectly. It's it's something like that the fact that the world doesn't need more successful people people needs more he learns and maybe you know what you know the the rest of it. Something like a scene. That quote yes. I'm don't quite remember how it goes but it seemed like the world doesn't need more successful business owner owners that needs more healers practitioners Spiritual workers. I'm not even sure i think i'm i'm bungling it up myself but i do know what you're coming from you know. There's a lot of already money oriented businesses that i'd like to see more heart oriented businesses. Exactly that's that's the does the the idea behind I think it's It's something important that we We need to think about. Maybe it's not about becoming. I know Successful in the way that people use to see success but Success can be something a very personal and different so yet. I have the quote the world as in need more successful people. The world desperately needs more. Peacemakers healers restores storytellers. Lovers of all kind ballet. Nama oh i'm a lover of all kind beautiful so I will be posting the link to your website and To the course in the description thank you very much for being with us and for sharing your wisdom and Your enthusiasm with us. Thank you george. And like i said this was so much fun and i'm so grateful to be on your podcast guest because you're doing such important work. Gratitude is really that key to that magical dream life thank you. Thank you very much gail. If he know that you don't need to be reached to feel abundant ungrateful. Then this course is for you. There are so many courses out there teaching you to get rich and to get rich fast. In my experience being able to maintain a state of gratitude and abundance is far more valuable than getting rich. So i want to invite you on seven week journey from lack to abundance because i would really love for you to experience more and more in your life the first step journeys to click the link in the description or go to george. Benton dot com slash abundance.

fifteen second george bente bente higra six seven years twenty seven twenty eight year twenty eight day ten years georgia edgar casey Pizarro fourteen years papp Pronuncia hewitt kasich twenty years amnesia akasha twelve weeks piper love
Kindness As A Catalyst For Gratitude - Chris Palmore

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

45:00 min | 11 months ago

Kindness As A Catalyst For Gratitude - Chris Palmore

"Literally be kinda somebody that could be just again. Like i said before that could just be lis- lit really listening to somebody letting them know that you see them right that can be simplistically handing them giving them food. You know There's a lot of ways to be. You know that can be opening a door for somebody. There's they could be. You know you're if you're checking out the register anywhere you know looking person. That's checking you out saying. Thank you and saying their name. I try to do that to make it more personal. You know there's a lot of different ways you can be kind You know i. Because like georgie fire in the gratitude community. The with you. And i it's like it's very simple for me to have a conversation with somebody and then this ask them. What are the great or in the life. Because that's that's what i do. But i don't expect that from other people you know what i mean like so so But but these are all again these. There's there's so many ways just think of kindness is being like the sibling of gratitude of unity. Callous for gratitude is gonna be kind. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing live. Stories are successful guests. And they're actionable. Tips had now the host of our podcast georgia. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to new episode of gratitude. Park cast today with us. We have fellow gratitude seeker and Gratitude spread there and a good friend of mine. His name is chris. Paul more and We will be talking about Quite a few things one of them being Wonderful book That he will be launching and Also some of the some of the things that We can learn about gratitude from him and He's always thinking about ways of Engaging people in this beautiful practice. And i'm sure that he will have some some pretty amazing things to to share with s. You might all already know him because he's already been on the gratitude podcast and really happy to have him here. Once again chris. Welcome to granted. Podcast glad that back man. A lot's lot's happened since since we talked many months ago. And i think again for lead me be on the podcast and allow me to experience. this format in the interview session inspired me to start my own podcast. So since we talked. I launched This radio so so. Thank you for that man. Really cecilie my pleasure. I'm really glad that we're we're doing this. And we're helping people discover gratitude and yet more into this beautiful habit and explore it for themselves. I think this is. This is something very important for for us for us to and i believe that for For all of the people on this planet to be honest for sure man. I you know i i believe that Gratitude is is a practice not a habit and the beautiful thing is that you know us being gratitude. Creators are non. You know We we really enjoy it. Creating content that allows people to be in practice so the coal thing is is if you're listening to people talk. What gratitude as. You're actually in a practice you know it's it's a form of Of study you know and My podcast and your podcast. We putting these things out that are allowing people to Take a deeper look at gratitude at the same in the same time. They're actually actually practicing gratitude. Because they're they're listening to it. It's like it's it's a habit. It's a daily habit you know. Yeah it's it's something beautiful that you can get connected with by just Being in the in the presence of it whether other people are talking about it or experiencing it or You are doing certain practices yourself so let us know little bit what you've been through in in these last few months since we've talked extra jin yeah i am so you know. Many many things happens this we talked. I like i said. I launched the podcast and that's been Phenomenal for so many reasons. I like to think. I was doing written email interviews for years. I did with you which. I really appreciated of I think that's kind of how i met each other and i really enjoyed those. But i'll tell you you know going from israeli interviews which are in sending questions out and getting responses and building web pages to doing a podcast where i have a conversation with somebody. I have audio and video to To inspire this gratitude to put these collections together is i really felt like going from one or the other of the the best analogy as i was walking around like two sticks in the woods. Turn on to create fire now like somebody handed me like matches you know. Like zippo like it's it's amazing That's what the podcast has been to me. Honestly it's it's it's it's taken me from Going out like looking having searching in spending a lot of time to find your attitude to were People gratitude to basically being. i'm swimming ingratitude. Man i have so much. I have so many people to talk to so much. Great stuff that it's just It's like nine day literally going from the dark like the dark ages into present time so That that spin massive. It's been absolutely massive. What i've learned from people Talking about gratitude. And i knew you know this. The amazing thing about any discussion with anybody about gratitude. Is that after done with it. You actually find you have more to be grateful for so the amazing thing is is i can have these conversations with people in an i actually ended up been i i walk away more grateful. That's amazing and i totally know how you feel. And since i do i'm really curious what What is the most interesting tactful Story that you heard. I'll document other people about granted like what Moved you the most and Why did it move you so much. It's a great question is really opened. Because there's been so many who want wanna share in this moment right. I gotta be like i'm gonna act like a moment here. Got all these things. Run around in my head. So i think. I think the most impactful thing was A friend of mine named teddy that owns a company called grateful people's he he shared I asked him who is grateful for his life and he shared this amazing story About his mother who had ms. And and how best to sell this. In the quickest way basically will be sold me. He said he had his mom had this illness at a very young age so this is how he always knew her and he made it. This is how i took it right. He made a conscious decision. One day that either. He could be angry that she had a mess and be angry at the disease. Kind of you know. Put that energy towards his mom or he gives be grateful for it because this is his mom and this is who she is and it is part of her right. It's you know it's who she is. And i thought how powerful is it to take to take someone's disease and say i'm grateful for it and put it in. The spectrum of this is who they are. And i'm knocking allow negatively or anger to to be between us because of this illness and it was so beautiful him saying that i found a gratitude in for her m s. You know and then. And then he said he said you know it impacted her having a ms impacted my entire life. He said i m is sometimes. Also there i'll sit down. Sit down and i will just be grateful that i can tie my own shoes. Because as he could see his mom couldn't do that or he says i'll be in the shower and discover how how wonderful it ungrateful in on that. I could just faith myself. Because he had seen the this is the person he loves. Most in his life have helped these things. I thought in that really That was really powerful. Joji in just thank. I never just the thought process. Of saying i am grateful. Four opposed to. I am angry at because you're either going to have one or two emotions towards someone's illness. There's something there you know what i mean when it comes up. There's something there you know and it was just really powerful To hear him construct this a different way to look at it a disease. That's amazing and i'm sure that we can all think about situations in our life where and when we are angry and we within two to be in this angry habit and now what beautiful shifting perspective and what a difference it it actually made in his life because it. It's something that he couldn't change right. It's something that he could just accept. And you been more like even more amazing is the fact that he was able to feel grateful and to to choose to to find gratitude. If even in that situation. I think this is sue. Beautiful story and it's It's a great example of That the power that we have the power of the human spirit and how capable of days to find gratitude evening those kinds of situations for sure many i. I've been stuck on the podcast. Let lately and it's you know it's it's it's amazing that you y'all have the so perspective. I feel like a huge. This is something. I've learned more last six months. Like it's such a huge key to be ungrateful as perspective and understanding that we get to choose what things mean. We get to choose our stories. Because you i can have the exact same we could. We could have the exact same situation. Happened thing happened to us and we can react. Different ways One of us could make for example a sears fritz teddy's example his mom in a m s could have raised me a bitter person. A very angry. You know almost unloving because of a disease that was crippling his mother are them. Flip it to you know. My mom died of cancer. That was really crappy and i make that my one note right. I could make that my life. I could make her. So for example i could make her death my life but instead because i wrote her a letter of gratitude because i loved her What's come on. My mom passed away from cancer. And all the things around it is that you know. I'm talking specifically if you today because i wrote this letter of gratitude my mother in entertainment but i had to make a choice of that you know i had to make a choice in say will what what does this mean. What do i want you know. How do i wanna look at the situation. Because it's my choice. I liked to frame. You know talking about death author you know people we love that we missed the there's there's a huge flips either for one thing as the reason you're in so much pain right now because you know somebody is because of all the love. It's because of all the memories right. It's because of all there's so much behind it right and that's why you're paying right now but let's flip the script right. The city had none of those memories in just passive. This is just the way it is gonna mean like. You're you're feeling this way because of its a big loss but bottom line is you have had these experienced fit to feel that loss. You know it's a it's just. It's it's the price of admission. If you're gonna love somebody in now. And i and if you can train your mind and going look i i. There's so if we keep in mind that the reason you're in pain right now because there was a lot of good then you can start to frame things and not saying this is going to happen the day of but i'm just letting people know they can take is it's always. It's a choice my situation. I feel like i say this all time a Obviously distinct my story. Like i could go. I love my mother. She died of cancer. Okay that's there's very little there. okay. I'm not giving you much other than life and death but the reality of it is. I can flip this. Go look you know. I'm so grateful. I had a mother who loved me for thirty five years. I understand that that's not that's not given. Everyone doesn't get that orgeon they ask. Some people are born where mothers don't want them. There's some people their mothers dire are. They're running then they you know they they have awful parents you know. These are all things that can play out in reality. I know them fortunate. You know what i mean. I know i had this. You know. I wrote in writing my book. I actually took a step further. And i was thinking about. You know the only reason not the only reason but you know part of the reason i exist is that my parents had a miscarriage the year before they really wanted to have a son and gideon was born in libs twenty three hours okay and he died in hospital and it was awful absolutely awful for my parents even my dad mentioning it the other day. Which is you turn up. Forty three years ago george ian wright and the fact that my mom's not here you know On telling you this because if that hadn't happened like it did they wouldn't have gone. Okay we still wanna have a son right. You still want have sun so they decide. Let's let's go ahead and roll the dice again in because they had experienced before their doctor. This time said look. We're going to need a so you up so that you don't You don't have this kid early so think about this. This refraining thanks for myself right. This has me thinking about this like two months ago. Six weeks ago. My mom wanted me so much to be born in healthy that she put stitches in her body. Just so i would show up on time. I never in. That's neat framing it right. That's not a statement. My dad made. I've heard the story before. Do you understand the difference between me saying. My mom had me in what i told you. You know what i mean like. There's so much more to be grateful for their. It's not it's not just a delivery. Right and in most stories is never just delivery right. There's so much more And this is part of me shading my mother in these focusing on all the good in all the love of not focusing on her death because that is sad. Her death is sad. She should have lived a lot longer but that this wasn't in the car but that's not what i'm focusing on folks on her love which is continues to spread more love. You know I think that we talked about before he got on the air. You know basically there's giving. Thanks being grateful. And then there's people that her catalysts for gratitude in honestly i feel like the biggest catalyst gratitude entire life was my mother. You know she kindness. A huge callous forgotten loves accounts for listening being present right. These are all catalyst for gratitude. You can go out and Setup situations be a catalyst for gratitude. And when you know you're doing it it powerful for not only you but the other person you will get so much out of going out and just look. I'm going to be a callous for grad. See today it was entirely. Change your life so so if you can't sit around and stinks grateful for go out in embiid edgar attitude for somebody else. And that's you know. I know you get it right. It's like we start thinking about other people. We stop thinking about our problems. Yeah exactly and i believe. That's that's a very important part of why this is so powerful because once we We get to see those things. That aren't naturally The focus like our natural tendency is to focus on the things that are bad in our life. it's very helpful for us to to get outside of ourselves and It works both ways. Either we start with granted you than we wanted to spread it because when we when we are grateful we want to disband that gratitude or when we help other people be grateful what they want. I wanted to Do ask you something. What what do you think about the this idea. And this thing that People tend to do from my point of view it's let's see lacking diplomacy The fact that people del other people in their Maybe in their good intention to to help another human being to feel grateful Saying that you should be more grateful. I in my opinion. It's not the best way to approach this. I i completely agree For one thing. I don't think as individuals we should be telling people anything to do and he shouldn't. You should never tell somebody how to feel. Obviously if you know it's different if you're friends with somebody you know the ability and it's you know you're good friends with somebody. There's a difference in the relationship. But you're i think you're talking about does the blankets to the masses like these stranger on the street. You know going up and saying you know you need to be grateful you have so much grateful for I think that's if anything you know how to put this into perspective. We're definitely not gonna talk about religion but we're gonna say this if you're on the street and you hear somebody speaking saying preaching health. How health are damnation And it's not the belief you agree with. That's the feeling that person's getting when you look at them and say you should be grateful. And that's not that's not a feeling it's nothing i ever wanna I know that feeling. I would never wanna give that. I think that Definitely the approach is not to tell people that they have a lot to be grateful for. I up so let's talk about my life right. What a what do i do I didn't go out. And i have conversations with people and then i'll ask them you know if they have some things in their life. They're grateful for that's a conversation though. See that's not a. that's not a blow horn. That's not a you know That's not me telling them they have to. You know what i mean like. There's a huge difference between having a conversation in being present for somebody and just you know just demanding something in their face like telling you what to do. I think it's I don't think it's a healthy way to communicate period for anybody over anything so Like i asked hundreds of people in dead hundreds of videos across the country. And i felt like i've never i've never told anybody they have all you know. They have lots of great. I don't feel like i've ever been that person. You know what i mean like. 'cause there's intention in that person's very different from my intention my intention period that i want to create a moment where they're gonna share it. The grateful floor with me. And the only way i can do that is by not being the guy you're talking about so you know what i mean like step one. Don't the personal welcome go. You have a lot to be grateful for right It's not because the bottom line is some people it's people are different and the is way to do is to have a conversation and then make it an organic thing and i and i don't have i feel i feel completely fine having the conversation with anybody. So that's you know khanna rambling. But i feel like speaking more the point outside and before you wanna be a catalyst gratitude. There's a lot of ways you can do it in one of the ways you shouldn't do. It is walking up to strangers and saying you have a lot to be grateful for your house gratitude. Then what you're doing is you're making a negative. You're you're actually putting a negative stigma to gratitude. Because they're going to have this memory of you in their face almost like somebody at a protesting. It's ugly so if you wanna be cast for gratitude to go out and kind to somebody literally just go around kind of somebody so that could be just again like i said before. That could just be list lit really listening to semi letting them know that you see them that can be simplistically handing them giving them food. You know There's a lot of ways to be. You know that can be opening a door for somebody. There's they could be. You know you're if you're checking out the register anywhere or you know looking person checking you out saying thank you insane. Their name i try to do that to make it more personal. you know. there's a lot of different ways. you can be kind You know. I because like georgina in the gratitude community. The with you and i it's like it's very simple for me to have a conversation with somebody and then this ask them. What are the great or in the life. Because that's that's what i do. But i don't expect that from other people you know what i mean like so so But but these are all again these. There's there's so many way. Just think of kindness is being like the sibling gratitude in unity a catalyst for gratitude Be kind yeah. it's beautiful sexually The kind of feeling we want to To get other people to feel like when when you think about this idea you should be grateful. You feel bad you feel guilty that you're not and I love the fact that you mentioned This part about how gratitude can actually have A negative spin on it because of these kinds of situations in which people might have told you At one point that you should be grateful for for the things that you that you have and net. You might not be For some reason. And i believe that this is this is not gratitude like this is just trying to make that person feel bad one. We are another. It's not it doesn't have anything to do with real gratitude and like you said when someone is kind to you. It's very easy to to feel grateful for that kindness. And especially since you're listening to this interview most probably you are the kind of person who is open to a feeling grateful easier than most of the of the other people and also You are hopefully kind of Human being that wants to spread kindness as well. So now i think it's It's an important conversation How we can actually become catalysts for for gratitude. you and Spread that attitude because this is one of the most beautiful ways in which we can Enjoy a better lives better life ourselves but also the people around this and Yeah i truly believe that if we if you want to change the world we we can start small and you never know where where it actually takes you when when you have many people that are are grateful in the world that are Appreciation appreciating each other. the dr I dunno kind to each other. There are so many things that can changing now in a beautiful way. Assure man you know it's it's it. Everyone's got their own battles and their own demons and You know just i. It's the power of kindness It's an amazing thing to go out and look for ways. You know it's again. It's all intentional. Dislike graduates intentional us. You know If you go look for ways to kind of people again you're gonna stop worrying about john. Problems the cool thing is is when you do this to actually become that's another You know another huge benefit of being grateful is being present you know Gratitude allows you to be present in appreciate the things that you have opposed the things that you don't have allows you to feel like you're not lacking at least for that moment right released could sell you know i i have you know aspirin. We'll have aspirations and things you want to do. But when we when we our presence in we talk about what we're grateful for the moment argue being kind to somebody are actually coming into the moment. You know the present moment and you know i've been thinking about. I think people understand that you know the future is an idea. Georgia and the future is an idea. That may never you know when you arrive at the future. It actually isn't the future is the president The more we are in the future were not in the president and the more were stuck in the past were not in the president period. All we really have is the president. Were never going to eat another day in this planet. There's no guarantee in your life. There's no guarantee that you're going to be around week on. I'm not trying to sound morbid. I'm just. I'm just stating a fact. You know what's important right now. You know what's what would you grateful for right now because most of the time we're in our heads worrying about everything that we don't have control over in worrying about a future that hasn't arrived and were stuck in past his already That is the past. That has already happened again. You can't change it right in we're in with that's doing is it's taking us out of. The moment is completely still in our gratitude. It completely is. It's completely taking away from everything that you had going for you. Right now I you know. I wake up and ideas journal and i find that. I say that you know i'm recently. I've been more so it's like i'm just grateful to be alive and if you can if you can just pick up in the morning and go. I get the another gift to this day. I think you're gonna have a better day. I think you're gonna see things more great for you're gonna appreciate more people in your life. You're going to slow down. You know because this is you have this day you had this time right now is not guaranteed that you're going to have you know this is not forever. It's not period you know. It's not so if if gratitude is a massive tool to bring you into the present moment. And i'll tell you Anybody out there on shirl most people get like the prayer at the moment is where you wanna be turning. And i'm really happy that you're here with us right now and that you're listening this conversation because that means that you want to be in the present moment and you you want to be more and more grateful and i think it's Beautiful thing that that you chose to do this okay. Thank you for for choosing this and for being hewitt us but Getting to the next Marta voire interview. Can you let us know little bit about the book you You didn't mention that you have been working on the book for the last Six or seven right yet while the writing for the book started in the very beginning of the year. But i'll tell you mine is a fun story so you know i am. I'm in blackhawk columbia. I'm visiting my fiance. I'm and i have had this conversation in december. Have this conversation for a mentor. That i've had fortunately times cloth Mentor on friend for over five years. And he just. I was doing interviews of continued to interview for the website. And he just said chris like what you know said where do you want to solve it. What is your yes questions like. Why why are you doing this. Which i think is a great question to ask yourself anything when you're involved in the project like what what is the what do you. What do you want. What is what would be ideal situation all this leading towards sierra You know people can take a lot of ways like in your life you could say white would the relationship you can think okay well. Ideally we'd be married we lived we lived together. Be happier lives. That would be an idea and relationship in a situation where you're creating gratitude interviews in. You've got this website and i've taken towards than videos. He asked me again whereas all going said well you know it would be. I said i offset. It'd be amazing to have seven other riders interviewing people so that we would have a new grad interview every day. You know that that would be really cool right. Have more people in the mix you know. and then. I said you know. And i said well you know ideally what i wanna do. I wanna get in front of his. Many people's i can and be a catalyst for gratitude. That's what i wanna do period. He said he's able christie's like he's like you know if you wanna do that. He's like you need to get a book and The funny thing about that is you know georgia's that he said the same words to me the first time we ever talked on the phone over five years ago. I you know i thomas you know. He's a he's traveled. The world is a keynote speaker. He's a he's an author. He's been all over the world. He when i got him on the phone five years ago and i shared my gratitude story with about my mother. He said i officer chris. What can i do for you. He literally asked me. What can i do to help you. Which was incredible it was. I think it may have been the first time. A strangers really said that to me minds higher life where they where they felt like it meant it. You know opposed to disarm passing statement. But he's in that conversation said you know he's like you need a book no can't i can't guarantee anything but i do know the people in the speaking circuit. Because i do that. He's like if you wanna get in that realm. You have to have a book. So that's five years ago so now we have the kind of ever moving forward to january the end december. We have the same conversation i go. I go in. And i hadn't forgotten that conversation right. The one five years ago. I definitely had forgotten that we had again and he said i said yesterday. Completely right you know. That's that's that's that's been sitting in my head he said and then he gave me. He gave me a prompt. He said how about this. He said you know. Don't stretch yourself out too much. Like how about the next six months you you'd get into the habit of writing every day five hundred words a day for the next six months and then you just see what happens you know maybe at the end of it you decide. I have no desire to write a book you know or i don't like writing or intervene like he's just he's is. He was basically prompted me to get started. He's like going started in. See what happens. So i did. I could do five hundred words a day tom. You know i. I try to do my best to whatever thomas says i take. He's to me he's always a thority but he's also a friend and he has my best interests at heart. I know. I know those are three things that are always running when i talked to him and i always appreciate his time because that guy is super busy so you know but he doesn't make you feel like that when i'm with them. I'm just saying i know he's you know So so i did. I wrote for six months. And in that period of time. You know. I i had a lot of a story. Not have a lotta story. You know originally after riding a lot i was like okay. I had this big memoir idea. And then because of the podcast i was interviewing people that had shorter books and i was thinking about my big book and it was looking at their small books right. Their books are like one hundred hundred thirty pages and i realized that The analogy this is like people. Don't know me well enough right now to marry me but i would like them to date me right so the idea is i don't know i don't i decided okay i'm gonna do too simplistic story. I don't to give them a need to give them. You know my entire life. I just seem to give them something right and you give them something about my story. Gratitude not my entire existence or my whole story ingratitude. Though a cool thing is is that allowed me to go okay. We're gonna make this. This is a lot easier. It's going to be a lot shorter. my at same time at one other mentors. He released his book. Bobby coon someday solution. Amazing book about just getting started. His whole thing is on the calendar georgie. And there's no day some day you know he's like when people say they are do something sunday they're actually means for most part that means it's never gonna happen. So you gotta start like we were saying back. Thomas saying you gotta whatever you plan on dude you have to start without starting your. You haven't done anything and it just become someday. So because he did his book he had he. He came across also really amazing editor. He hooked me up at new show. And then because she's an amazing person She heard i started talking about itis the book and and because she understood my story she said how we initiate other people to write essays in letters gratitude for the book. And i'll tell you. I hadn't thought of that at all georgian. Even though it's a great i hadn't in i'll tell you why didn't think about it because i was thinking i did that years ago. And it's it's almost like pulling teeth to get people to write things. It's it's a big ask for tomato. I i know this right it. I've done this. I've asked this but because she held my hand in it was her idea. And she's like. I know people ryan in community. She's like we can do this right now. Go ago okay. I said that's great. If you think we can do this like i needed her to say right. You think we can do this. I'm down for the mazing thing is What happened with her idea. Was it became an anthology. Okay so the cool thing is is. The book is coming out a couple of weeks. There are over sixty people different people that wrote in essays and letters ingratitude for later in the book. Okay so the cool thing is is all i wanna do is initiate people. Speak house for gratitude. Right in the book itself has done. That has specifically physically because it initiated people to ride ingratitude. The book is doing exactly what i want to do. And it is a complete success regardless of how it hasn't been published yet but the fact that people wrote for it it's homerun for me so it's like just the fact that these people's letters essays in this book and there is some really great ones. I want to share with you here in a minute It's it's it's a win you know it's a total win and the great thing is That you know. I'm just in the gratitude is different for everybody. And maybe my story won't resonate with you. But i'll tell you you're gonna find something in this book resonates with you you have to because we have every taste. We have every flavor in this book. Write it and there's gonna be something that you're going to resonate with you because it's not just one man's story it is everyone story and that's what the amazing about gratitude we it's something that brings together in something we all have in common and we all have these stories of gratitude and read or you listen. Are you watched something ingratitude. It becomes a mary flex to you. So this book has has so much that the great thing is tells part of my story and then it just it tells all these other people story gratitude. You know so it's It's really beautiful man Again because my story and gratitude is rose. Elsa story right. that's Spaces the interviews is other people the videos on my tour. These are you know what i mean. I have my story but my story is is that i want. I want to hear bail story. I wanna share everybody else two stories. Yeah i yeah ramle. But that's that's what the book is about. Yeah so let us know under story that you that you wanted to share. Yes yes i. I pulled up one this morning. And i was thinking what can i can. G marinas a really great book about funnier happiness. The purpose of the japanese way really great book but i clicked with me that there is one i wanted to share. I think that. I think that your audience rely so this is called. This is an essay in the book. It's called spreading gratitude. It's by molly mclaughlin. So it says this. I recently hit my two thousand consecutive day of gratitude email messages to my friends and family aka five point four seven nine years of daily gratitude. This is yeah right This is not a single habit that i have. There is not a single habit that i've kept this consistently and in the process. This practice has taught me a lot a four. Starting this practice. I didn't hang out much in the state of gratitude regularly for the for the most part i hung out in a state of survival and suffering. Thanks to the repetition of daily practice mantra or even prayer of gratitude. My mind is slowly but surely becoming more primed to seek out. What's right versus what's wrong. I've also discovered that you're you're never done with the practice of gratitude. It is a daily chretien without working that muscle are lizard. Brain will sell right back to everything that doesn't work. Bruce lee once said. I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks once but i fear the man who has practiced one kick ten thousand times. I'm excited to see what life will look like after ten thousand days of gratitude. Lastly i've learned that sharing gratitude can be even more soul filling than keeping it all to ourselves. The gratitude contained in effect. That happens when we don't keep our appreciation for our lives tucked away can be a win win for both the listener and us and that's why i'm grateful to be included in this book to help forward that goal of spreading gratitude as a collaborative and consistent part of my life. Mazing right well. Is this really. I read that in the fact that she's done two thousand days and that's just that's her emailing her friends and family. Did you catch that. That wasn't just saying that she has listed morning. That's her literally putting together an email for two thousand days in rooted. And then i just love the bruce lee analogy. She's so excited to the two thousand kicks. The one kick. What's going to happen in ten thousand days of gratitude. Like where am i going to be in my practice right. What's that gonna look like. I just i love that. Allow that so much man. I just hit me this morning. When i was reading my book in thinking about what. What can i share with you about the book this is. This is one of their fallen. The analogy is great. Because we we think we we should do so many things when it's sexually some of these central's that it's important for us to to keep doing every if we if we want to be happy and fulfilled in life. I love that. I love that. So since we're nearing the end of our time together let our audience know How can get the book. How how can Get in touch with you and Get the teaser that you mentioned before the interview. Yes thanks jordanian so I wanna you know what i wanted to gift your audience a taste of the coming on and Where we're this'll be on the website it'll be in all since odor you don't have to listen to the right up but it'll be at graduate space dot com slash ford slash. Thank you decide to make it but it is. Thank you know. Dot com slash. Thank you so it's our graduates face dot com for slash. Thank you if you go there. Just give me your email I will send you have a thing. Set up where i was in you. Face the book. So that's one thing. I'd love to to gift your audience for this listening This far our conversation And then on top of that by the time this episode does air. The book will be on in the on amazon i will get you the lead to that too. So if the bottom line is Graduate space dot com is where everything is. I have graduate space radio. So if you're looking for more Podcast gratitude if you want to top it off of obviously georgia's unit top it off a little more something else. Greg space radios there. But the the book i'll have the space dot com slash. Thank you and then. I also get The in jonas be linked to the actual book if you'd like to preorder it or purchase it and in just letting one nice thing about the book You know at the end of the book. My ask is that If the book has inspired you to reach out to somebody or to have a moment of gratitude. If you wrote a letter than i totally want to hear about that because this book is book is not a singular thing. This book will birth another book Because just like georgie. Gratitude inspires gratitude. Gratitude breeds gratitude. So this book is gonna inspire another book. And if if for some reason This this conversation. You hear me in georgian getting the book inspires you to reach again to have a gratitude moment somebody to To to you know if that happens. I want to hear about it. I sincerely want hear it. it's all day long. I want to hear about it. And if you'd like to share with me straight if you'd like to possibly have it the in a book in the future that's great to just want tell you i wanna thank him for listening again georgian for being a good friend in allowed my be to share my my voice my store in the book. Yeah it's it's my pleasure in happy that we got to have this conversation. And i'm sure that our listeners were inspired at least a little bit To choose gratitude more and to Just live more with Gratitude in their lives. So thank you very much for all the things that you've shared and Good luck with the book. Thank you georgia. Never wonderful day. I really appreciate your man. If you know that you don't need to be reached to feel abundant ungrateful than this course is for you. There are so many courses out there teaching you to get rich and to get rich fast. In my experience being able to maintain a state of gratitude than abundance is far more valuable than getting rich. So i want to invite you on the seven week journey from lack to abundance because i would really love for you to experience more and more abundance in your life. The first step on his journeys to click the link in the description or go to jordan bent dot com slash abundance.

george bente Bente high cecilie nine day chris Joji fritz teddy thirty five years twenty three hours Forty three years george ian wright cancer six months georgia jin shirl Marta voire teddy five years gideon
Working With Fear Back Into Gratitude - Kate Swoboda

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

36:48 min | 8 months ago

Working With Fear Back Into Gratitude - Kate Swoboda

"What's your take on this. what do you think how. How do you think gratitude encourage connect. Well i so like i as i was saying before we start recording so so into your perspective on on gratitude and the idea that gratitude is a way to shift out of space of fear and so the connection i make is that and i'll just use the pandemic as an example One of the things that i have been doing on the hardest days of the pandemic. And i certainly don't want anyone to think that i haven't had days where i'm like in despair. I mean i'm a normal. I talk about courage. And i'm also a normal everyday human being i fluctuate. I have all kinds of feelings. Throughout the day and had feelings of despair before had feelings of rage or anger before particularly being an american and watching how the last presidential administration handled Their job which i felt was done poorly in terms of protecting citizens. And so i look at those things like okay. What are the things that i can do to. What are the opportunities here. Basically you know to me the gratitude and the opportunities. Because if i don't look for the gratitude and they don't look for the opportunities in this situation then i will be pulled into the psychological undertow of all those scary news headlines. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. Where you'll hear new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian bente. This episode is supported by premium gene with free shipping on all products premium. Jane is dedicated to delivering the natural benefits of cb the to those who truly need it. Go to premium. Jane dot com and save twenty percent with coupon code. Gratitude high grad. Did you seeker. Welcome to a new episode. The gratitude podcast today with us. We have an amazing guests very excited to be interviewing today. She's the author of the courage habit and She has been inspiring many amazing people. And they say that chauffeur's kind of clear courage that inspires more courage in others. She has been included in diverse publications such as usa today forbes lifetime. Mom's mind body green and many others and now cates. Bobo down is on the gratitude podcasts. Talking with us about courage and gratitude. Welcome kate thank you so much for having me. It's my pleasure and I'm really curious where our conversation will go. And what we will get to explore together so firstly. Let us know little bit more about you Well you know as you mentioned. Courage is a theme in my work. But it's not about trying to eradicate fear. It's not about trying to become fearless. I don't actually think that fearless exists. I think that the work of courage is about saying. What is it that i want from my life and looking at the places where fear has kept a stock and then seeking to understand. Why the fear is there. What need it is actually serving. Why it's coming up and that work developed into looking at. How fear based behaviors become patterns which then become habits. That operate on autopilot. So often you think about people who say oh. I'm such a perfectionist or oem such a people pleaser. What i say is will. No one was born that way. These are not habits that are ingrained in us from birth. These are habits that developed so instead of putting that label of perfectionist or people pleaser on and then operating a default from that place. Let's actually look at where it became a habit. What the triggers are for the habit to continue and then start interrupting that habit and creating courageous behaviors that can replace the fear based habits and to that end. That has really become what i talk about. I look at. What is the psychology of the individual. And what is it that they are trying to do in their lives and how does fear. Keep them from doing that from a habit driven place because if we can understand where something's coming from the origin of it wyatt's place need it's meeting then we can begin to dismantle the power that it has and that approach in my mind also takes us out of what is so often a very binary a very frankly aggressive model of trying to Like it's so often like kick fears ass you know. Tell fear to f off. You know things like that. And it's like that's a really aggressive model. That actually doesn't do anything. Other than perpetuate the existing self wounding. Because if we beat up on ourselves the way that fear beats on us you know it becomes just this game of i hit you or you hit me so hit you back. You hit me. So i hit you back and that doesn't get us anywhere. Yeah that makes so much sense. And i think it's a very wise perspective on on fear encourage It's i've been thinking About situations in which. I was I needed to be more courageous. And but i think there is a a really interesting Detail That differentiates different kinds of courage. In the sense that there is discouraged. that like you said it's aggressive it's forced and there is this other kind of courage that these more silent and it's still as powerful and it can be even more powerful than than the other one Even though it's not as seen as that the kind of courage. Usually when i when i think of in general i think of people that I don't know that. Do extreme sports for instance or Do all kinds of crazy things But i think this is another kind of courage that is admirable in in many situations but with which for instance. I have never Being able to to resonate. And in the beginning when i was a child With my friends with my guy friends especially The fact that that was not as courageous from that point of view It made me feel weaker compared to them But in time. I understood that there are these two types of courage and At the the other one in my opinion is is more important than that in the long run placed. Let me know a little bit What's your take on this. If you have been if you have seen this in in your research yes yes. I think you explain it very well. there i think of what you describe as the courage. That's about your way of being so the courage that is about external accomplishment which is often particularly male conditioning. Which is you got. Gotta be tough. You gotta never show fear you gotta come onto the sports field and dominate conquer. That is often what men in particular are Socialized condition didn't you women receive a certain level of that too. There's certain way you're supposed to show up as a woman Women are often conditioned in terms of heterosexual sexuality to appear always. Cool confident sexy. You know this this kind of like. I don't really care i'm all memorable and what you and i are talking about. Today's this is driven appearance of courage. That's very performative. And moving into a way of being and people do that in so many areas of their lives particularly. I find that people do it with work. They like the outward accomplishments but As i talk about in the courage habit. I actually opened it with. What was my own Wake up moment around this. Which was that. I had been a classic overachiever at and i still would say. I am an overachiever. I've just sussed out. Some of the differences you know. There's there's over achieving because you like Big audacious goals and in livens you and your curious about how far you can push limit and then there's over achieving just because it's another notch. It's another to do list thing. You ticked off. That looks impressive. And that was where. I was orienting from at the time. And i had this real awakening that could knock out a project and do it well or win some kind of an award or in school. Get great grades. But i wasn't particularly happy. My life was screaming. Happy with how unhappy i was through the form of headaches through the form of being irritated through the form of being tired all the time Through the form of just feeling a low grade loneliness and not particularly happy. But i didn't pay attention any of that at the time until i had to. Because you know. I had to show up for work. I had to do the things that i was supposed to do. And all that and it was profound grappling with my identity because this external identity that i had constructed was at odds with the most courageous self within me. That was trying to come forward. So we're really talking about courage as a way of being and that involves vulnerability in connection and all kinds of things that you don't get paid for you. Don't get awards for But they are essential to what it means to be human. Yeah and i was actually thinking that they they help us live more Like experience more when we're able to be more vulnerable we can get to feel Things on a deeper level because we let ourselves though that otherwise We we limit ourselves with tampa with the walls net. We tend to build. And like you said there walls that we've built out of fear to protect us from certain situations and this kind of courage is actually helping us Overcome them and I i remember that. I chose Courage habit to to to choose some of the things that i feel i am afraid to do and do them and It was very freeing that sensation to to look for for those things. That i i wasn't so i was feeling the fear was of fear but i wanted to do them to to know how how it feels if i'm bigger than the fearsome how and it was so interesting of course not in the sense that the peer pressure that that i had to do things that in my opinion what were kind of stupid but to do To overcome my fears in the direction that i wanted. And i think that's that's an important part is well isn't it. I put it more in the language of Less about overcoming fear and more about how do i see sort of make fear my partner and and it's a very slight difference so for sure. I want to overcome fear in the sense that i don't want my fear to hold me back. I think that's what you're speaking to. But i always make the distinction between what it looks like to overcome fear and to work with fear because at least to me the language shift puts me in warm mindset of okay. I'm not trying to tell fear to f off. I'm not trying to tell fear go away. I'm understanding that fear is just part of a process. So i'm going to work with it so you know if i was planning to have a difficult conversation with a family member and i felt fear. I don't want to overcome the fear in terms of trying to shove it to the side where it exist. So much as i want to understand why i am afraid and and work with the fear okay. I'm afraid because they might criticise me. I'm afraid because if we have conflict myself in this one family member may be other. Family members would take sides and have conflict with me as well. I'm afraid because and so as i start to understand these different threads of why. I felt afraid. Then it also shows me how the fear is a need when the fear clamps that's to get met the fear is actually trying to protect me with your comes in and goes no no no. You can't have that conversation or it a little harder for me to breathe and feel calm. It's trying to go. Hey hey hey pay attention to me. You don't feel safe here trying to have this conversation. You don't know what's going to happen. it's scary. Maybe we shouldn't have it. Maybe life would just be easier if we didn't have this conversation right now. Let's just not so it's like it's it's it's misguided in the sense that as we all know when we need to have a difficult conversation not having it when it needs to happen. That just kicks it out to a later date right like it's going to get worse with that person. There's gonna be more resentment. We're going to be more stress. But in that tiny little moment when i don't want to have that conversation when fears like we don't need to have that conversation. There's like a protection that the fear is attempting and i often equate fear as being like a small underdeveloped. Child small not is in bad but small as in young underdeveloped. Fear does fear does not have a skill set. That's what it's really lacking. And so this is to me the most fascinating thing to come out of how i've studied fear encourage. Which is that if someone is willing to look at the places in their life where they are afraid and instead of pushing the fear away if they are willing to say what's really going on here. What story am i telling myself like like. I could use this example of the conversation with the difficult family member like. Oh i have a story that if they're mad at me other family members will get mad at me and then. What's my story about that. Let's follow that thread when my story that if other family members get mad at me that everyone's going to be mad at me okay and and so. What's my story about. Everybody being mad at me. That i won't be loved o k now. We've got something to work with here. What am afraid of is that. I am not only not being loved this one person not only not being potentially loved by many other people but i will not be loved by like a lot of people that i will not be loved. Okay now how can i attend to my fear. Hey fear first of all. I don't think it said they don't love me. It's that we just have a conflict right now. Hey fear Even if they didn't love me. I love us. Hey fear even if somebody else doesn't love or approve of my choices. I've that person has a right to they. Wanna think or believe and then i've got other people who do love and approve of my choices. Hey fear i get it. It's tough when people don't love it or approve of our choices. This is an opportunity to really learn how to be with the discomfort of that so you could compare it to a child who is afraid to get into the pool for the first time and try to swim My own daughter experienced this when she was first getting into a pool when she was younger she was afraid. And when you look at it from the perspective of the adult it's like what is there to be afraid of your mother. I've got you you're not gonna drown. I would never let in. But of course we have to look at it from the perspective of the child. Understand the child's fear. It's this large body of water and it's so much bigger than what the child is in every single day right and it's scary and there's probably a lot of other at the average pool. There's probably a lot of other kids splashing around making noise and it's a different environment. It's a different sensation So know one piece at a time. You say okay. Why don't you sit on the edge of the pool. Put your feet in. Why don't you get in the pool. But i'm not gonna let go of your a hold onto you the whole time. Why don't we sit on the the ladder of the poor the steps of the pool. But certainly we don't want to turn to that child and say what's wrong with you. You're so stupid. God can't you get it together. Don't you save. There's nothing to be afraid of here. You know so it's it's very much. How do we understand in with ourselves in the same way we understand what the child that they just lack a skill set. How do we understand that with ourselves. That's so deep. And so beautiful. And i love how how kind this perspective is. And and it makes a lot of sense and I think it's it's a very important topic because of The things that we can be grateful for our at the other side of fear In in this sense. I think it's It connects very well with gratitude. And the fact that once we are able to work with fear and Goethe those things that make us feel afraid. We can experience even more gratitude. But what's your take on this. What do you think how. how do you think granted. You encourage connect. Well i i. So i as i was saying before we start recording so so into your perspective on on gratitude and the idea that gratitude is a way to shift out of a space of fear and so the connection i make is that and i'll just use the pandemic as an example One of the things that i have been doing on the hardest days of the pandemic. And i certainly don't want anyone to think that i haven't had days where i'm like in despair. I mean i'm a normal. I talk about courage. And i'm also a normal everyday human being fluctuate. I have all kinds of feelings throughout the day and have had feelings of despair before it had feelings of rage or anger before particularly being an american and watching how the last presidential administration handled Their job which i felt was done poorly in terms of protecting citizens. And so i look at those things and i go okay. What are the things that i can do to. What are the opportunities here. Basically you know to me the gratitude and the opportunities. Because if i don't look for the gratitude and of i don't look for the opportunities in this situation then i will be hold into the psychological undertow of all those scary news headlines so the place i've been going to when i felt afraid about the pandemic and that i invite other people to go into is there's an opportunity here and i'm grateful for the awareness of that opportunity to remember how much of people i mean. That might sound like an odd thing. But how many times before the pandemic did i get invited to something a dinner party. Hey let's meet up in I'm too tired. it's been a busy week. Oh wait hold on opportunity. How can i get more into the fact that like i wanna be really grateful for the connections in my life. Because even though they're all on zoom right now there are a lifeline. And i never want to take them for granted again. I want to really put them at the forefront of my gratitude and when i think about the gratitude that i have for the opportunities other things this is an opportunity Win time became very crunched. For me. Because i have a six year old and You know i'm the ceo of a company. I run an accredited life coach training program. I i come to podcasts. Silent appointments right like there are things i need to do but then she had no school. One are the opportunities in that as like okay I'm grateful for the opportunity to look at my time. And anything that was. Not lighting up has been taken off the schedule. It forced my hand so to speak. You know i couldn't just kind of well you know it's okay. No actually time is of the essence. I cannot commit. I'm not willing to commit any longer to the things that don't light me up. So in essence. How do i use this time. And the other thing that i keep thinking about is that and i felt this from the earliest days of the pandemic. I i have a podcast myself and i actually did an episode on this Called this is what we trained for. Because isn't this what we train four right like the gratitude practices that you have been talking about for so long. You weren't talking about those gratitude practices for when life is easy and when it's just peachy nice you're talking about using gratitude to help with people's emotional resilience during times like a pandemic and of course nobody ever predicted a pandemic but this is what we train for. So whatever. people's spiritual practices are personal growth in wellness practices. I think rather than going to a space of. Oh my god. It's all awful. And what are we going to do and just staying there. Sure we're going to go to that space a little bit but just staying there. We have an opportunity to remember that this is why we cultivate these tools at makes so much sense. It's such a wonderful perspective. And i actually got some emails from people that That realized this as well. The fact that i it's it's much easier once they have this This habit in place and even though on the challenges sometimes grow bigger by the day they are still able to to find gratitude into To be happy in spite of them. And i it's it's one of the reasons why i think gratitude is an important habitat as his courage of course and The it's one of the things that i didn't know how to put it. But it's one of riches i think having such Such a habit like granted. You like courage because you have that with you no matter what like even if you have everything or if you have nothing you still have that then. You can rebuild any time if you have them. That's my that's my the way i see things. Yeah i completely agree. I mean it's like can we just take a moment right now and be grateful for the fact that we have air moving through our lungs and that were healthy like you know another thing that just like personal connection or the ability to go in and out of stores with ease. These are all things that i think. Many of us took for granted in our health is is on the list. To how many days do we know this when our pinkie toe hurts. But we don't stop to go this this breath i can take. I'm so grateful now and this is amazing and the things that i love to do when when something isn't working whether that's that relates to my body or with things in the house for instance is to realize that okay Something might not be working right now. Like like you said i might be There might be a toe hurting or something like this but the rest of the three hundred plus days. It's not hurting and it's totally okay. Or if I don't know. I have a headache or something. It's very interesting to see. Maybe nothing the moment Because it's not always easy to to have this perspective but seeing the fact that most of the of the time it's good you even if If i i'm in a fight with my my girlfriend or something when afterwards like a few minutes afterwards i realize oh my god. We haven't fought for so long. It's amazing that we actually. It's time it's a contrast that that helps me see that. Oh my god things are so well actually in general it's wonderful you. It's it's very interesting. Yes i agree. I completely agree so I also wanted to ask you a little bit about The power of habits in general and know that. It's not by accident that you chose the name the courage habit. Why do you think that's important courage. In general like you explained it is something amazing to have. But how can we turn it into a habit. I mentioned earlier. How the fear based habits like perfectionism are people pleasing. They tend to run on autopilot and people start identifying as if they are their habits they say i am a perfectionist forgetting that perfectionist behaviors are made up of a series of different or the the habit of perfect perfectionist behaviors. Excuse me are what. Make up the habit. It's when you are doing saying believing things that feed perfectionism that they become habitual and we often do that on autopilot. Somebody who approaches a new project from the lens of perfectionism win. It has become a habit. They are not thinking to themselves. I know i'm going to work really really hard at this. To the point where i burn myself out and no matter how good idea at this. I'm going to tell myself that it's not good enough. That's not a conscious thought. It's just something that people go into without thinking so when we look at habits and how they're formed in the brain my proposition is what if we were to those fear based habits so that we can in essence d- disentangle them so that they are not going on autopilot and then when we interrupt those habits what if we could replace them with new habits courage based habits that actually get us to where we want and so using the example of perfectionism what that looks like in the courage habit model is first of all. Nobody's gonna flip a switch and just not be a perfectionist anymore. Because it's a habit that you've been doing for a long time and identify perfectionism people pleasing pessimism and self sabotage as the most common fear based habits. People go into we're not gonna flip a switch and just not do them anymore more than likely what will happen is somebody will be going into that perfectionist dick behavior or a people pleasing behavior and then suddenly they're gonna because they've decided to be aware and that they know they wanna interrupt the habit they're gonna go hold on a second. I'm doing that thing. I just i just heard my critic inside saying you're not enough. Okay hold on hold on. I need an intervention here. I need to interrupt this habit. And then what. I propose is that you move into habits that actually build your courage and your emotional resist resilience in that moment. And the four habits that identified through the research as most contributing to nurturing that emotional resilience were accessing the body listening to your fear but without attaching to it re framing the negative stories. Fear is feeding you and reaching out in creating community and you can do all of those or you could do even just one so to continue the example. Let's say that. I'm getting really caught up in perfectionism and doing it again. I'm doing this perfectionist. Thing again hold on. Let me interrupt this habit. I could slowdown access. My body breathe. Listen to the fear based thought you're not doing this well enough but not attached to it as truth. Okay here you fear. You're saying i'm not doing it. Well enough reframe that limiting story. What fear i'm reframing. I'm doing this as best as i can. That's all anybody can do reach out and create community. Listen to the gratitude podcast. Go find that friend. You know so often. We think that to reach out and creek community has to be like real time connection. But i would say listening to your podcast is you are part of people's communities now which is so great so somebody could interrupt the habit and do all four of those things or someone could just do one. Someone could notice. Hey oh gosh. I'm mu as the further. I get into this project. The more my perfectionist pattern is showing up. I'm gonna pause work on this project so that i can interrupt where my mind is going and i'm going to turn on the gratitude podcasts. Because that is a way to reach out. Greek community so in that example. I've i've talked about. You can do all four or you could do just one. The important thing is that you interrupt the habit so that it doesn't continue to run on autopilot and you replace with some kind of courage driven habit or behavior that you're trying to cultivate foam. I love then. I love the The topic that you chose. I'm really happy that you you chose perfectionism. Because i think so. Many people that are doing great work or that have great ideas. Just don't do anything because it's not perfect yet or all kinds of things that have to do with perfectionism and and it's sad than they. I feel for them. Because i've been there myself at one point but also We have a lot to offer the world and it's a pity that that they don't do that so i think it's a wonderful example and i'm really happy that you chose. Yeah yeah it's really common example. Yeah so We're nearing the end of our time. Together and i wanted to ask you. Where can audience get in touch with you Get in touch with your work. Find your book. Listen to your podcast. Yeah so the courage habit is my book and it can be found on amazon or local booksellers and it's in a few different languages which is really exciting to me You can also learn more about me at either. Your courageous life dot com or team. Cc dot com. I'm kate courageous on instagram. And my podcasts. Have to are the your courageous life. Podcast and the craft of coaching podcasts. Beautiful thank you very much for for being here with us and for sharing this amazing perspective on on courage and Just for being so kind and Sharing this kind perspective with us. I think it's It's something that we all need. Sometimes to just have. Someone reminds us that we can be kinder with ourselves and that we can Experience more by being kind and of course being courageous. Yeah yeah thank you so much for having me my pleasure.

george bente cates Bobo wyatt kate Jane headaches usa tampa headache dick amazon
Not Everybody Is As Blessed As We Are - Rejoice Ncha Fon

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

47:21 min | 7 months ago

Not Everybody Is As Blessed As We Are - Rejoice Ncha Fon

"The step back and really analyze our lives. Look at all the things that we're into like for me. Personally i would really just think. Oh i'm food that i have a roof over my head. I have fully my fridge. But now i'm like oh this is not everybody can afford this. Not everybody was able to wake up this morning to go about their day. Not everybody was able to make up not have to take any medications whatsoever to get them out of their beds. And so when. I think things like this. I'm just truly truly grateful for the gift of life and the gift of this air that i breathe because i could easily just be that person today and who what would i say was the last thing i did like was i being grateful always. I compare myself to people. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful gas. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian bente seeker. Welcome to new episode of gratitude. Podcast today with us. We have a fellow granted you seeker from the states and then really happy to have her here and in spite of the technical difficulties. We're able to be be back here and hopefully we will enjoy a beautiful interview. She was born and raised in cameroon and then she moved to the us five years ago and she's also a listener of the rat. Your podcast and. I'm sure that she has an amazing story to share with us and Of course her journey that has to do it. Manicured is shirley going to be something very interesting that we can talk about Also she has a really special name. That hugh we that we will be talking about. Her name is rejoice in charge. Fon and She's here with us on the gratitude. Podcast rejoice welcome. Thank you jurisdiction. Yes it's been a struggle with internet bug. We're it looks like it's doing okay. How is it doing georgia. Okay now are some thank you for having me on for inviting me. This episode is supported by premium gene with free shipping on all products premium. Jane is dedicated to delivering the natural benefits of cbd to those who truly need it. Go to premium. Jane dot com and save twenty percent with coupon code gratitude. I am really honored to be here. Hi everyone my name east archery. Rejoice you know it could be a little bit stressful when you think about it because it's literally the verb of being happy you know so but i don't know if we will today speculation most of the time but i'm trying right now so really unable to be here and when georgian reached out and he was like you should join she comes the podcast I don't know like majority of those. Who are your podcast. Have an idea of what the alive. And i don't know from one of those so really Onto each year to talk about my story. So thank you jim. I'm pleasure my pleasure and and about the last part that you mentioned believing that we're we're all in this together and we're figuring things out as we go along and i think the fact that we are on this journey is together is what makes this Journey beautiful that we are learning from each other and growing together and Enriching our lives. And i think we can. We can all add something to that so. I'm really happy that you accepted my invitation q. So i wanted to ask you first. What's your take on gratitude. What does it mean for you and You have a definition or something that resonates with you Yes so to me. Gratitude to pons and enjoy the process and one of the times we find ourselves setting goals for ourselves When i reach that goal then i'll be happy then. I'll be grateful for reaching that goal but the thing is that girl doesn't often bring us happiness yet because imagine if you don't reach that goal in time from that you set for yourself than are you going to be happy. Are you not going to be great food for whatever you've learned during that process are you wouldn't to be grateful for the people who have helped you to get to that point. We are even if it's not the final goal that he wanted to so gusty to need means to pause the process and to leave in the present again will always thinking okay three years from now. What am i going to do. And that's great. That's guts grit plant great plan to have. But are you happy a fool for what you're going through right now. How are you kia things and so to leave in the present and to thankful for everything whether small or big these things just make me are ship things lot more and now when i see somebody who's beautiful. Who's handsome hoax good. I appreciate them. Because i knew that me thinking about appreciating them. I actually appreciate them. You know if if you see somebody doing well. I work or really good job. And you're you're thinking to yourself. Oh that looks really nice will. It doesn't hurt actually save. You know so really being appreciative of everything big or small and living in the moment in the present. Aligning yourself time to pause. Enjoy the process of you. Growing a few being a better version of yourself is one of the things that threats to really means fridley. That's so beautiful. And i love what you what you just said. And the fact that yes when we see other people that are good looking To take your example We have two options to think about dose things that we don't have that we don't remind not feel that we. Hey we are. I don't know we don't feel that we have a hair that is That beautiful or something else Where we can really appreciate that particular part and rejoice in. Yeah exactly here be glad that we get to see the beauty and to appreciate it and actually to express it Like you said and The first one leads to To anger leads to Jealousy leads to bitter feelings and the other one actually feels are sold visited. Yes i i have learned that you could either choose to the abuser person or you could choose to be happy person and i have just just be listening to the grants to podcast into other guts. Podcast and just really telling myself like he knew what you're better than what you thought you wear on our on myself to really be appreciated of people and things in my life has really helped me be more open passive overall on a few now. I take things differently. Like i smile. Most of the time. When i'm happy i feel like i'm genuinely happy. Genuinely good person. Because i am allowing myself to feel grateful forever process every imperfect part of me and just just being okay with enjoying this process. So it's been it's been a great journey so far as beautiful as beautiful and Circling back to what you said. In the beginning with the goals i think One of the most important things that gratitude helps us with is enjoying the journey. And if you think about it in life we were always going to set new goals even if we reach the ones that we have. And if we're always focused on reaching those goals and not on the journey and enjoying it might end up reaching those goals and setting new ones and not actually enjoying the process at all and just going through from one to another and just Trying to get the head when when we can choose to be ahead somehow even now in the present moment yes that's true and it's it's amazing. How how simple it can be and how hard it can be a pass so simplicity. Yes i news. Are you kidding guts. You know i thought okay you know starting to journey is it's it's easy i mean. How hard can it be to be grateful for for things that you have for over your head and you for your car around for sued for like. How hard could that possibly be. But it's strangely hard right because these things have taken them for granted and it's just it's like a normal thing to have a roof over your head or to have a car to have a phone whereas it really isn't. I mean personally for me the thing that really pushes me oh my goodness i ghetto and i can breathe. You know. i'm somebody who believes in having a really good relationship with god of you see. It's not perfect but just to think about okay. She actually helped me. Allow me to wake up this morning at. I'm here talking with you. That's just okay. I could i could weak- could be dead. You know what i mean. So it's like. I'm here and i'm breathing and i'm talking to you and i woke up from bad shung unhealthy honestly. What more could i really ask for in that line of being grateful so we we take things for granted because you know we see people with cars a with money of course desert necessary things to have. Nobody wants to not be afford for things that they want. But when we take this step back really analyze our lives. Look at all the things that we're into like for me. Personally i would acne really just think. I'm grateful that i have a roof over my head. I have food feeds. But now i'm like oh this is like not. Everybody can afford this. Not everybody was able to wake up this morning to go about their day. Not everybody was able to pick up not have to take any medications whatsoever to get them out of their beds. And so when. I think of things like this. I'm just truly truly grateful for the gift of life and the gift of this air that i breathe because i could easily just be that person today and hoot lake. What would i say was the last thing i did like. Was i being grateful or was i comparing myself to people. So it's it's it's something that's technically we think it's easy to do unto you. Start doing and then you see that it's an everyday effort of you reminding yourself of this executive grateful for and this doesn't mean that you know if you're going to challenges you can't feel ungrateful at some point because i do. I do feel like while this is really hard. I don't know what i'm doing. But i also think oh. Avalanche from this person went so much in this situation. I didn't actually handled this that. At some point i feel like i'm thankful that this happened to me now because i know what it feels like. I can maybe empathize with somebody. Who's going through this. Or just i can just learn about for myself in general so. It's something that we consider you should you interested is easy each could be. I don't know about how it is for others but for me. It's an active decision. That everyday telling myself today. I'm grateful for all the little things all the things and the weather and my family. Just when i get up on that side of the bed and just say these things to myself. It's just a much better day for me. I love this last idea that curation that it's just Battered day for you when you do this compared to when you when you don't then Yeah one of those people. That are naturally grateful. I know that there are people that just do this naturally. And i'm sure that many of our listeners are like you and me They they need to make conscious effort to to be the being that state of granted. year and Yeah i love your perspective. I think we failed to appreciate the simple things like you said. Just the fact that we're waking up we are alive and just the fact that we had to breathe right now just the fact that we are healthy and just the fact that we have food in our fridge and roof of our over our head it these simple things that we just that used to and We we just forget that they are blessings. And i believe that it's it's great reminder that you just gave us that we we have these things and it's Even though many other people enjoy them in our world in our bubble that doesn't mean that they aren't amazing in that that began to appreciate them. It's a very beautiful perspective and down. Yeah i hope that we can choose suit to wake up differently. Like you said to choose eddie's to appreciate the simple things and when we do so the the reality of our life is so much different and yeah. It's very beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you thank you for having me. I also Wanted to to ask you about your experience. Growing up in cameroon How was it there and i. I'm very curious if you were taught anything about gratitude that has to do with gratitude. So i would speak for myself when it comes to gratitude and i grew up in a christian family and we would go to church. We would pre- and you know the idea of giving pans was just something that was normal was like for example when praying before my meal i would always say. Thank you for this food. Thank you for the hands that made this food enhance. That cooked this food. And you know please replenish the source. So thank you to god was just something that is i want to say normal and so it's not exactly kind of a big deal if i can say like we consider it in here in the states or maybe remaining where it's like okay. Is this huge thing. That's really important. You know so i'd say personally. It was just kind of normal quitting quote theme. Where i feel like i didn't really enjoy aspect or allow yourself to feel that aspect of being grateful but now that i'm i don't i like actually sit down and say okay. I'm grateful for all these things. And even when i'm praying about food or the journey i'm aware of what i'm what i'm thankful for whereas when i was younger it was kind of just like a habit or norm to say. Thank you god for this. And you for that. But i personally feel like i was allowing myself to feel that gratitude and so growing up in a christian family a church. We usually have these things called thanksgiving or own harvest until thanksgiving that is something you know there groups in church that come together on the kind of raise money or a Like gwen have this stuff. From like their farms. Or they're they're own from the market and they come to church and they give thanks to god as a form of kind or as a form of cash so. That's another way that people do thanksgiving but for me personally out say. I never really allowed myself to feel that gratitude. I would always saved. But i didn't really to feel but now that i'm more aware of what it is. It's it's been really good right. I allow myself to feel it. And i think that that happened. That had growing up also helps me now and so out saying most families they really push on. Okay be thankful to god. Ob thankful y- in january about things and so you grew up the habit but you don't really feel it but when you grow older and you feel that it's like okay this habit and the actual thing now combine and make this really magical feeling so it's it's a little bit more of a norm quote unquote bought. I think allows love the children or kids as they're growing up and become adults to really see what it is now. It's kind of like training your child in the way that they can don't depart from it right so you train them and now they're old enough to actually enjoy that process and of how How you managed to build on top of What you had on top of the The education that you've got That has to do with gratitude. I also had a similar experience by my parents always taught me to to say thank you and I think in in many families that are educated Parents do teach despite just To be to say thank you at least and In my experience is that the part that was missing. And i'm not condemning condemning. My parents at told for this. It's normally i think it's it's really hard to actually teach someone this And it's much easier that they find it themselves. Is that bart where you actually feel it and getting to feel this. Is that That important part that I've also i've also experienced after knowing that it's it's a good thing to say. Thank you actually feeling twin. When you say thank you for instance it makes so such is such a big difference. It's it's A totally different experience from just saying words to actually Feeling that gratitude and It's it's very interesting that that we have a similar experience even though we were born and grew up in different parts of the world. I think i'm i'm always amazed by this dutiful. Things beyond the nasties and another tape travel community built for the post. Covid world designed by do amazing open-heart travelers and cross generational women business leaders. These women believe in the transformative power of travel and knowing that in twenty twenty one people will want more than what travel us to offer beyond the nest offers a series of bespoke international and domestic retreats for small groups who value education and luxury equally. Each retreat takes place at the five star. Venue featuring renowned experts and lucid experiences like privatised light gallery tours their motto is. There's no reason your days of motivation. Recalibration and adventure can and with a five star onside massage beyond the nest is already selling out spots for their first few trips. Visit website that behind the net dot org and mentioned ingratitude. Podcast for a fifteen percent discount on your first trip. Yes it's it really does change your perspective when year. allow yourself experience it. I mean just kind of like love right. We you can easily saved When you your heart fuel what it is and it's like oh okay. I like this feeling. And so i like allowing myself to feel great full because he just really using peace of mind. So yeah that's a little bit about my experience growing up in cameroon. Beautiful beautiful. i think This is one of the most beautiful things that That that technology that can be challenging at times allows his do To share these kinds of experiences with With pre people from all around the world and Find out experiences that are that might be very different But so similar and the same time and then i'm also curious on how you felt and the difference between the culture in cameroon from compared to the us from from this point of view like Word where there are some things that I don't know either positive or negative that You felt were different on that. Had that have to do with gratitude. Thank you georgia. So when i is my first year moving here and there were like oh we have thanksgiving in november. And i was like wait. Fake church thanksgiving. Or what exactly do you mean. It wasn't a trick thanksgiving right. It's different from thanksgiving. And honestly i should probably know this. This is my feet here here. But i haven't looked the actual meaning of thanksgiving in the united states but it just a hardly had time just allowing myself to go through that holiday unthinking. This is actually a thanksgiving holiday. It's just a- grew up knowing some other type of thanksgiving here. It's a huge of people eating with family and sharing meals. And so there's really that part of it. That is a little new to me and when i also think about christmas it's very. How can i put this like the idea of christmas. That have gone through in cameroon. Compared to here are two different things right because to me. When i was growing up christmas was about coming to get as family sharing giving people not exactly expecting anything in return and also why she going to church because we do most of. Cameroon is of christianity. But they're author Agents there's they're muslims and other religions. So i'm speaking from a christian perspective on christmas day my family and i would go to church and would celebrate the birth of christ and rethinking for that and some kids receive gifts but really. It's barely anything. So when i moved here during the holiday inn christmas there was so much shopping on people's so like high amount of money you know sometimes to not being grateful for that parent by struggle to give to them. It really was. I wanna say kind of hurt me. But it was just a completely different experience to see because unlike is that the actual arena king at christmas from a perspective of being able to afford gifts worth two three thousand dollars or being able to prevent something that is really meaningful to one another at. You know we're all have different beliefs about christmas and so that really was a little bit different for me But now. I think that for christmas time. I'd just spend time with my family and just express how grit flam for this gift of christ being born and allowing me to spend time with my family and my friends so those two things are different for me because i have a different perspective of christmas and but then the united states a lot of people here have a different perspective of christmas so those can be very different experiences from me so i think it's amazing. What you just shared and I think one of those important and nuggets of wisdom that you just shared is the fact that Spending quality time with the people in our life can be a gift itself and from then on if there are other gives great but as long as you have that gift you can feel may be at least as as fulfill that as you would By receiving different kinds of gifts exactly like end of the day. You know it's. I am completely open to receiving gifts or giving out gifts or people or dean gift exchange. Because i think that that's important as well. I just wonder if maybe there is a different meaning to christmas than just exchanging gifts to one another and you know people usually can afford these things but in some others just going debt just because they want to be able to do this for their families under friends united's okay as well but again. Yeah i'm wondering. Are we just looking at christmas from a completely different perspective. Is there something we should be looking at where we think about chrysalis women. Think about thanksgiving you know so i. I completely acknowledge other. Everybody's everybody's different when it comes to celebrating a holiday until this is just from my experience kids. Now well i believe is very valuable At least for me. It's very important for for some. The might not even think that there are other possibilities. It's like that's that's That's the way we do christmas here. And this is the only way in which we can do it. And when when you get to a different idea you if you're open to it of course you might rethink this and you might Focus on on other things that matter and Sure you can continue to do the same. It's not the problem. It's everyone's choice but knowing that there is another possibility. I think it's it's something beautiful that we can learn from each other and from each other's culture That's why i always love to ask people about The culture of from where they came from. Its is something that Thanks to to those differences or even big differences that we can all learn and grow so. I'm really happy that shared this with us and may be some. Some of our listeners might Think about christmas differently or Just focus more on on some things that might make them a bit happier good so I also wanted to ask you. What are some things that that you like to do to keep yourself grateful you. May you mentioned Thinking about the things that you're rachel four in the morning do other things that help you keep this positive habit. So in queue for asking about that So i this planner. It's a christian planner. And this is my first time using a christian planner and really for the most part it has like bible verses and has an area for reflection instill usually on a good day when i'm not stressed For work at owner. Good day when get up. I go to my phone. I have the bible app on my phone. And i go through the morning devotion like they have a story. Where the kind of a brief Reflection a blueberries and then some pasture explains that by hoover's in the view and you get to read devotional and then preah cycle through diet. Takes me maybe ten minutes at most and why go through that. I also write down in the reflection session. Section of my christian planner. I learned from that study from that devotion that date so usually i do that in the morning while and then i get up. I go and exercise once. I'm done exercising. I tried to do depending on my time. I strive to do all the time. But i have this. Six minute. christiaan Meditation full follow a mexican youtube. And i just sit there in my sweat from exercising. I just allowing myself to become an listen to the prompt. A big if in the meditation during that time. That's when i spend my six needed. Just being grateful for from the smallest things that biggest thing just asking god to barrick might path throughout the day telling him that i'm gonna actively put him at the front of activities and i choose to be happy i choose to compare myself to people choose to show up to work and give it my best shot a choose to go to class and gave it my best shot and so i take that time six minutes just praying or painful for everything in go about my day you know and once that's done. I just few like archie. I'm ready to go out there and be amazing person so that really helps me start my day on the right foot. Each time i exercise. I try to do that after my exercise so i do that. And usually i'm a strong advocate for stretching or doing some yoga at night. And so while you doing that it just you're sitting there reflecting okay. What did i do today. How was today. What can i do better tomorrow. And just getting the scenes lake honestly georgian. I would say normally as a college student. I haven't had time to do that at all. But now that i am graduating soon i have more time for myself. And so being able to incorporate these things. Just i dunno. It's kind of those on an-and off button somewhere. And when i switched these things on it's like a completely different. Rejoice shows up right like she's happy. She's thankful she has all these great things happening in her life. Obviously you make. I've had some like this year has slowed be hard for me emotionally ornament. i just unlike. Dec's really helped me. I don't i don't know it's explaining. It's just when when it happens. You know it's just so life in being and so for people who can't exercise because of health reasons or time out recommend a new this year because everybody says do Meditation but it really does work. Like i didn't think of saying this but it does work and and it doesn't have to be ten minutes or twenty minutes. It could be five. Be three as long as you knew that point in your life at the time you're dedicating to just being a cheerful person taking a happy person to knowing that nothing. It's not going to be perfect. You're going to have troubles and trial challenges. But you're thankful because you go through this and come a stronger person like these. Just change derive. I just don't know how to really explain how it feels. But he does you know still these things that doing personally And when i see myself trying to kind of compare myself to others just actually not never mind. This is my jedi. I'm not comparing myself. Anybody unthinking for i am. I just remind myself new scenes and these were these. Take us at being the parent of thoughts. Like i am grateful for this. I refused to compare myself to anybody. I refuse to be jealous friend. I refused to hit people. Because there's more successful than i am. You know just again guys like being hoping to the process annoying. You're not perfect. 'cause they're times when i feel like wow why am i even spend time in grateful right like i still sometimes compare myself to people. But that's that's okay. Because i know the you're aware that you can do better the next. He's trying to be better so it's it's been learning process and we kind of have to learn what walked back for us but from me spending some time with god. Exercising six minute meditation. Before i go to social media before i get very busy really upset my day on that gratitude journey so these are the things that have been doing. That have helped me be more consistent with my journey ingratitude. That's beautiful. I love everything that you just said and I appreciate very much your your generosity and the fact that i felt that you were speaking dollar audience that you are Cheering them Giving them hope and gratitude and Yeah i think. I think it's beautiful. What you just shared and it's very very useful and very practical. I love practical and And love having options and you're generous enough to give us different kinds of options based on what you what works for you and what you feel is helpful. It's it's really beautiful. And i really appreciate it jordan. Thank you again for for having me and me being here to share what i've been doing. I'm really blessed. And i'm on it to be here my pleasure my pleasure. Thank you once again for accepting my invitation for Being a guest on the gratitude podcast. It's it's really been a pleasure and Yeah i i hope that you stay on this path and I'm really happy that you shared it with us. Absolutely i you know. It's it's it's a daily activity but i don't feel exhausted doing it. I feel i mean. I ran into a friend a few days ago and they were like okay when i when i see you smiling now. I don't see a dark cloud anymore. You see i see light. And i see i see genuine happiness. You're glowing and at okay. This is good. I she continue doing this then but again. Doing i'm not being grateful for somebody else and being grateful because last year before i just i was in this this cloud of thinking. I'm nowhere where i supposed to be. I don't like being behind beat some else sperm here effect. All these things are happening. What can i do you now. i'm keep first of all. What can i control. And what can i not control because what i can't control i can't pick myself up for that because it's just going to make me more stressed about everything until i focus on what i can't control and i focus on being buried for people and for my friends and for myself. I feel that one of my strengths as a person is being there for my friends. I always want to make sure that they're okay and they're fine. I can't do that little cave. And still i just pride myself in being grateful and taking care of my mental health. I can bless people. Maybe just being there for the day listening ear or just being a genuinely kind person. And i can see that this year since january twenty twenty when i started on my journey focusing a little bit more on what are allowed to get to me. I just have been a completely different person. I see things in a different perspective like people who might use to compare myself to. I see them now. As i can learn from this i can allow myself to be happy that they're successful because i'm limited success to. I'm not a nurse enough in the world for all of us when we go on social media enemy see people posting or this perfect pictures of perfect videos of perfect journeys annesley. We don't know what we're doing like we all just puts on social media we in social media we posed the highlights the best things. But we don't post what's happening in the background so once i truly am not myself to take this in account because obviously oh. Don't worry about guys just media. Everybody posed like louis c. This we'd never practice it so once. I allow myself to practices that Daily effort you just see that either assuming opportunities coming to you i mean. I didn't think it'd be on the podcast for here today. You know and. I am grateful when i think of independently. I got my may dream part-time job whereas people lost their jobs. And i'm like. Oh my god i could easily easily have a roof over my head and so when i think of all these things. Come just like. And you're seeing here. Compare yourself to somebody odes being ungrateful possession. You you know. So it's just it's a lynn. You decide actively choose to be happy to be grateful regardless of what life throws at you. You would see a Coming you you see life being better you see yourself being better being better dr being a better son being a better person and just feeling great about yourself overall to the point. Where when there's a curveball through you're like oh i'm ready for this like i can go through this and i will be fine you now so i really. I really have enjoyed sharing experience and i would just like to stay. Anybody is listening that you have a community here rooting for you if you woke up today. I ne- refilling down on sad. It's okay to that way sometimes but get up. Be grateful for the few things that you have. But i can say you have a at least five thousand things that you're grateful for you know. Be grateful for what you have and it's going to be okay. You have so many people here rooting for you. We will be okay at the end of the day. That's amazing nest the perfect ending to a beautiful interview. And let me just say that. I believe you are already successful in my eyes and I'm really happy that we got to do this. Thank you very much. Joyce being jewish. Jim i i hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you pay gratitude. Seeker thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been georgia banta. Don't forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

cameroon george bente pons fridley georgia us archery shirley hugh kia Jane Avalanche jim christiaan Meditation eddie bart chrysalis
From A Dark Place To Seeing Beauty Everywhere - Lopa Van Der Mersch

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

46:56 min | 3 months ago

From A Dark Place To Seeing Beauty Everywhere - Lopa Van Der Mersch

"Theyn thing hugh my own. My heart in q. No my heart. I resented every beauty about color. Rodham colorado's very beautiful. We have mountains in the morning. There bathed with purple late. It's just exquisite. And i would just glare at them and be like they were the symbol of having been taken away from from where i felt like i belonged and after a while i started to realize miserable. And i'm actually doing this. I actually contributing to to this in some way. And i don't know exactly if it was like the dawning of that or something else happened but i started to just I started to just see everywhere. And i just starting to really focus on everywhere and i realized that energy like that sort of relationship went from. I am a miserable human being who is pretty much a drain on everyone. Who's around me to actually feeling like i was made of light like i was inhaling the beauty around welcome to the gratitude podcast on www dot. George bente dot com where you'll hear a news story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian bente hang gratitude. Seeker welcome to new episode of the granted. Podcast today as always we have another really special person here on the gratitude podcast. She's and their verdict practitioner. Mother of two sustainability advocate benefits speaker recovering cult member and the ceo of russell and depth to genyk coffee alternative robin revolutionizing people's relationship their energy. She's always been obsessed with energy and She is currently working on finding ways to help people with energy and they think of course This is an important part of how we work as humans but she has a really interesting story that i would love to find out more about than share with you the podcast. Her name is lopa on their mersch. And i'm really happy to have her here with us on the granted. Your podcast welcome up. Thank you so much georgian. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you while. I can really feel how present you and they really appreciate that It's great that you can feel those things across the miles isn't it. Yeah it's it's actually quite amazing. I love realizing how the simple thing that we're doing right now is actually thanks to many complicated things that are happening in between us But for us it simple and it feels like we're having a conversation Being in the same room. So i'm always grateful for this and And it's it's amazing. How how closely can feel no matter how far we are but i wanted to To ask you more about your story You have been some some amazing things and The the first thing that. I'm really curious about is. How was it when you moved to costa rica to take care of wildlife in the rainforest When you had no electricity and you you're basically most of the time just with nature. I'm really curious about that. Experience because Gratitude works great in contrast like when we have experiences like like these. It's when we can see the the the amazing things that we are experiencing right now. So that's a little bit about that part of your experience. I love that you pull that one out. That's one of my favorite experiences of my life sentence of joy to get a chance to and so apropos to gratitude as well Because i you know as soon as you mentioned that were in the context of of you know you have created this sacred container for exploring gratitude. She's really beautiful. On some in that container with you. And then it gave me an opportunity to reflect on this experience that i've had in a new light and when when i was down there You know had none of the normal amenities that didn't even have a refrigerator Are running water came from the creek and south rain. The water return browns off the clouds game. We'd be like oh. Get water from the greek before before we get h- water because you'd never knew it was going to rain for you know an hour or a full day and It really gave me experience of gratitude for like the very simple things of existence and now granted i was also an incredibly beautiful place And deep and beautiful nature version rainforest. But i did not need things for my gratitude i had. I had only what i could fit in my backpack and in fact my clothes would all get moldy very quickly inside Had all these had to wash my clothes. Even if i didn't wear them once a week otherwise they just get completely moldy and destroyed And so i had to preserve the few things that i had an even without electricity. Even without you know. I think i had sixty dollars on I was incredibly happy. And i think it gave me an experience that the the base like this. It gave me. This felt experience. That i think will never go away that the base of our human experiences actually is actually in state of happiness and gratitude if we have sufficiency in our environment and we don't need very much for sufficiency and so often the things that we add on top. You know the things that we want in the goals we have in our lives and the physical stuff Actually clogs our channels of experiencing gratitude and experiencing happiness with life as it is so It was an amazing experience Nature such an incredible teacher and I would it was. It was an expensive wondering. Aw at nature constantly and myself as part of nature. I was very close to i saw snakes. Kill me at least a couple times a week. you're constantly surrounded by beautiful and deadly things and it just made the experience of being alive so fantastic in the realization that we we don't need much to feel sufficiency into feel Abundance into feel gratitude exactly exactly and what did you just share. Reminded me of a story. I'm not able to say perfectly but Goes something like this. And there was a fisherman And business person and the business pro person approach the fishermen and said That he can He can fish more and Sell the fish and get the bigger boat and fishy when moore and Get several boats and hire other people and so on and forth and grow this business and then once he will have all of his fleet with boats that are going out fishing and of people working for him then he will be able to To just be at peace and just fish quietly having the financial part solves and his perspective was. Why would they need to do all of these things when they can do this right now. You i can enjoy this experience of fishing right now and now so yes thinking about having things versus experiencing. Yeah that is one of my favorite stories. Actually a i say that won a surprising amount perfectly. Thank you thank you. I have in mind. That's just focused on the practical parts and I don't remember the exact details. But i'm i'm happy that That you said that It was good the way dole. The story so yeah. I think this experience of being in nature is both a beautiful connection and also a reminder of how how good we have it each and every day i For me. That's that's one of the things that i'm reminded of when for instance and when it's raining elmore on very hot outside or When there are all kinds of bugs that Let you enjoy the present moment in nature. I think about the fact that actually we've managed to create some environments that even though we're we've gotten used with them they are amazing like we can control everything in in very much in detail so that it's perfectly tailored to what we like and we sometimes feel to to see this into appreciate this. I think Yeah the fact that we have so many of us. Modern have climate control refrigeration We can keep the bugs out all all these kinds of things At makes makes it comfortable in a way that It's it's sometimes easy to fall into complacency and to forget to be grateful. That's that's so true miss. oh true. yeah But getting back a bit too Just this perspective that we have in general on on life and on spirit. Tragedy and undetected had some interesting experiences experiences being A called member and It actually helped you find nuance over dogma. And they think Disease this is one. That's very powerful and very important for for many of us because we all tend to have some kind of our dogmas that we That we have in our lives. That aren't actually serving us. And it's it's one of the One of the reasons. Why i'm i'm doing this podcast as well to to find out nuances of gratitude and not just Dogmatic ideas that Some people might have about this topic. And i'm really curious on on your perspective on this. How how did your perspective on the world change from Dogma to nuance Yeah thank you. it's a great question. One of the things that i realized as i came out of this Traumatic cultic environment was that i started to look got me in there. You know. of course they started to look at what were the beliefs. Were the habits and patterns. That i that brought me in and made me continue to say it was okay to be in a pretty abusive context and that got me started examining so many things about the way that i am you know from attachment traumas and some of the unhealed childhood wounds to Some of the beliefs that. I had taken on with spirituality and my beliefs around growth. I was very aggressive about growing and thinking that like it really really had to hurt. Otherwise i wasn't really growing for example. And i started examining entire entire cuffs structures of identity of myself in a way You know down to like okay. So i consider myself to be an environmentalist or or. I consider myself to be politically left. What does that mean. Just take an example. What does that mean. That means these certain things about me. And i think this is especially interesting in the context of a very new media saturated world and are very media saturated lives. We are reflected many many things that we you know. Impact us an influence us in subtle and gross ways and we take on parts of this identity. And so i'm gonna just because politics so Hot right now in such an easy Press precedent to be looking at for the current context So if someone is is left on the political scale than they they have these certain characteristics. That means that you are you know in the american context right now Pro vaccine which means you are You know you're an environmentalist. Want us to climate change. You want these all of these different kinds of beliefs that go with like i am the left reverses if you're on the right and it has a whole other set of beliefs and structures identities around that and i started to really examine each one of those in in from a political perspective from my spiritual perspective from my like even like what do i value. What do i believe in what's important to me. And that pro us made me start so all of those kind of identity structures become their own dogmas They are the end. We tend to take them face value. I think especially in in the context of modern media Just like oh a great example in the united states right now and i'm not sure how it is where you are but you know one of the things that's happening now as if somebody chooses not to get the vaccine then they for whatever reason that has all these political implications about what they are as a person. Okay then you must be a trump supporter. You must be in anti vaccine like vaccines in general. You must be the and all of that is dogma. All of that is not actually looking into the real texture of the situation and it makes sense very over busy life on with so many of our modern lives are. We need to do that to some extent. It's it's easier to do that because it simplifies things. It's just like stereotypes. Stereotypes are also dogmas and ideas about people and we do that to ourselves. Dogmas stereotypes in ideas about ourselves and so i kind of in that process of recovering from the whole i examined every aspect of myself and every belief and looked at some of those like wait a second. This one's not mine. I borrowed that from somebody else. Put it on myself. Because i thought it would look good. Whatever it is and it doesn't belong doesn't fit with with a sense of who i am. What feels right to me And so i got to dig into. What is this core sense of self. And i think you know in that experience One of the lenses. I can use to look at this for gratitude is. It's so easy to think like what we should be grateful for certain things and i myself and my life Especially in the in recent years of had It's it's been a bit of a struggle to grow rasa and have my kids and the recovering from the cult in the complex. Ptsd that. i've had from that all those things at once. And then i've had this I would kind of use radha attuned to as a weapon on myself. We should be grateful. Look at all you have and you know. And and that is not an effective approach to feeling gratitude. Justa away of beating yourself down more Trying to shoot yourself into gratitude isn't going to work any any any context and i think that that's a dogma that many people hold around gratitude and being grateful is that we should and and you know and then it can also that can lean towards kind of faux sense of gratitude which doesn't actually penetrate your heart and come from within. I think my experience Most is that gratitude is is best when it's actually coming from within and not something that i'm trying on myself or say that i should have forcing myself to feel gratitude. So far has not worked Although which is different though than actively cultivating and working on gratitude as a practice it's exercise. It's a muscle that you wouldn't go and say like well i'm going to force myself to lift this four hundred pound weight. You can hurt yourself if you do that without without training. But if you're slowly like okay. I am committed to cultivating this. This exercises practice the strength of gratitude in star five pounds and then ten. And then i'm gonna just build it up and then some at some point you will be. It'll be much more easy for you to lift four hundred pounds. Even if you don't do it every day someday you might be like you know. I just don't have it to their life beating you down and i am not grateful but then but you have those muscles to be like okay all right today. I don't wanna wallow in this place. Today i'm going to pick it up and i'm going to do a thing to use exercises metaphor so Yeah that was a lot. And sometimes i speak very circuitously so Hopefully hopefully hit some of the points that we that we wanted to hit there but Yeah sure didn't actually got to one of my favorite topics on on gratitude and Yeah like you said it's It's dogma that people with don authors and on themselves as well this one with You should be grateful. Or i should be grateful. I think it's very bad approach and It's it's something that we tend to do With other people as well and we tend to do it with ourselves and if you want someone to feel ashamed you can do that and you can easily make that person feel ashamed but if you go deeper and Have some empathy. You can understand how how it works. How you work with with this gratitude with appreciation and how they work as well and they are much better ways of approaching this of course then On just using this idea of you should be grateful. That guy said you're going to Help someone feel ashamed. But you're not going to help them. Grateful so i think it's it's an important dogma. That is specific gratitude and Yeah it's one one of the things that time mom trying here to Not to fight to take another level to they could deeper basically because when when we go deeper we and they have empathy. We understand how how it actually works and why it's hard for some people to feel grateful and how we can help them if if we really want that And i think it's it's something important for for all of us to to learn at one point. But i also wanted to talk a little bit about energy and your obsession with energy When did this obsession start and Where where is it right now. Giving give support someone dear to your heart can be real blessing woohoo. You made it very simple for you to offer a memorable gift that your loved one will surely cherish for the rest of their life. Help him or her feel appreciated in value right now. They might need more than you think. Go to georgia and banta dot com slash woohoo or visit the link in the description to find out more great question. It started in my teens. Really at that point i was really something awoken. We i don't know how else to say Yeah there's actually ties nicely into a really early experience of going from darkness to gratitude as in my teens and we had i had moved in the middle of high school across the country to a new state move to colorado. And i felt like i was rich from the place that i belonged from people that i felt like i belonged with from that sense of safety. That is so important especially for teens and i resented every beauty about colorado colorado's very beautiful. We have mountains you know. In the morning there bathed with purple light. It's just exquisite. And i would just glare at them and be like you know they were the symbol of having been taken away from from where i felt like i belonged and after a while i started to realize miserable. And i'm actually doing this. I'm actually contributing to to this in some way. And i don't know exactly if the dawning of that or something else happened. But i started to just I started to see beauty everywhere. And i just starting to really focus on beauty and every everywhere and i realized that that energy like that sort of relationship went from i am a miserable human being who is pretty much a drain on everyone. Who's around to actually feeling like i was like made of light like an. I was inhaling the beauty around me and that experience of ngos sixteen at that time and began to coincide with me starting to explore spiritual concepts and spiritual path in general and. I started to get hungry more of that. It was like i had tasted this experience. That felt like you know. I i i see. Energy can be seen in so many different ways and to define it for me for me. It's a it's a quality of being ness it's quality of experience. We all have this. You know i am. I am me. And i am experiencing reality right now and you know. We have this little texture. That kind of goes with that. That texture influences our emotions it influences thoughts it influences. You know so many different things. And i started to get really interested in. How could i have that. Bidirectional knee influence that texture. Influence that energy whether it was through meditation leather. Through what i was eating and how i was However was engaging with my body and all of that and not to say that it was a perfect path to constant sourcing of more energy. I fell off miserably many times. But it was that i experienced. That had me being like. Okay what. I want more of that an experienced that energy. I have a spiritual maybe not everybody does But to need that was that was the experience of god. In god itself felt like a quality of of energy and so i was hunting and seeking an asking pleading and praying to find more of that and that quest took me in many many different directions including an occult but also including in a very beautiful spiritual tradition. But i was in before that I learned a whole slew of meditation. Practices in ways of working with energy and ways of aligning ourselves with energy of virtues to bring more of those virtues into our own lives and ways of working with the mind so that the mind becomes less of a hindrance to our experience of energy in so many different things amid a very different phase of life from being a teen in being my early twenties and having total freedom and being able to do whatever i wanted you meditate for hours a day and travel all over the world and all those good things and now i have two children. I'm wife. i have a business. I have a Twenty twenty or so people who depend on me for a livelihood in a in a very real way they also depend on each other very much. We're all doing this together but it's it's definitely an experience of of a lot of responsibility and a lot of energy and One of the things that. I'm really working with now is I because i have so much that i'm can wielding in my life right now. I have to be incredibly responsible to the quality and flow of energy and that quality and flow of my energy is one part you know my own contributions to it and my own the ways that i work with it and also one part you know god given him biologically limited limited and so I have burned myself out so badly in the past and realize just how much that affects a business. How much that affects my kids. My husband everybody around me And so i have this responsibility to really steward energy and to Yeah just to to stay in regenerative cycle with it instead of burning it all out and then replenishing it a little bit and burning it all out and replenishing a little bit because that's a that's a depleted cycle and trying to stay in this in this zone where it's like. Okay if i start to feel the and i'm getting a little burned out or getting a little brittle and more dry and more Sharp in my energy quality than i was actually just experiencing this last night and i was supposed to Have dinner with my in laws. And i was like you know what i really need a bit of time because if i don't get that i'm gonna start going off and luckily i had the the circumstances where i was able to to go ahead and take a little bit arrest and it was just amazing to feel kind of pulled back in there was like okay. There's more that energy Going to have to be be careful with it in this steward of this finite experience that we have of being alive and the energy that comes with it. The energy that infuses at our consciousness animates us as humans. And you know in. Our product is very focused around that in the quality of energy that you're bringing in and we're coffee alternative and so many people think of coffee and energy are kind of synonymous in a certain way in in modern culture in the way that we use it and my experience of of coffee also very influenced by my experience studying i read for many years and then also Doing exploration in chinese medicine daoist practices and all of us coffee is. It's a pretty blunt object in terms of the way that it energizes you and let it. It's it's functional works in certain ways but it also We view it as an extractive type of energy. Chinese medicine actually has a saying that coffee borrows energy from tomorrow to fuel today. And that's the exact kind of extractive cycle that so many of us are in with respect to our own lives and in respect to our relationship to the earth as well. We're taking out too much and not putting enough back in. And so when we started rossa we were like how could we give people an experience of energy and sustaining so that they can continue to do all things in you know be supported in that but also in a way that gives back. Select almost like regenerative. Agriculture is giving carbon back to the soil and keeping on a closed loop system In in a sense within the Within the energy of that system we're trying to do the same With our own body in her own energy and modern life is you know it's very it can be very extractive it can be very You know burn yourself out today so you can get the the wing tomorrow you know fish more and more fish that you can eventually relax and and relaxing fish. Enjoy a simple fishing life. And that's a pretty common trope in modern society. But it if you change the way that you energize because our energy influences every aspect of our lives it really does. Energy emotions are very closely linked to each other our ability to access gratitude. Our ability to access the best parts of ourselves comes when we're in you know as as much of balanced as is workable for current life circumstances and we also accept okay. I can't change this thing. You know this thing is bigger than me and it's just gonna be what it is. How can also work to accept that. But we've have more access to to that if we're if if the quality of our energy is nourished com vital and the quality of energy that you get from for example japan herbs that we that we include in our coffee. Alternatives is a very different quality of energy than coffee. But you're also on the scientific level you know you're not getting that quarter sell spike so coffee part of feel so awesome when you have. Coffee is because it gives you a quarter sauce. Spike cortisol is the stress hormone. And so it's giving you that like you know. I can run away from the her. I can fight the tiger. It's going to be fine. How we don't want to be in that state all the time we wanna try and actually work against that state particularly because modern life has so many of that kind of messaging around us in our modern Bodies haven't caught up to the fact that when our phone rings a minor emergency You know it's just it's it's like. Oh i add something happened. Have to pay attention. And we're kind of they caught it. They call it Is it automatic. Own might forgetting the terms af e automatic facilitation something where we're kind of always micro stressed Just by the circumstances of our lives And of course that varies from person to person in context context. But i think that that is pre- pretty broadly the case and So we're we're enter. Energizing nourishing ourselves nourishing our nervous system. Actually working with calming that stress cycle by what we're taking in even just as a daily cup of daily habit it's going to actually ripple out in so many different ways in your life and so that's one of the things that we're doing as business and that i'm working with that in as many ways as i can as well seeing just how much my inner energy impacts the people that i have become responsible to most definitely most definitely i've seen in my own experience that Managing energy is extremely important and The quality of life is influenced by by this and the quality of the interactions and One of the things that i have come to accept is that for instance at at the end of the day For me at least it's since. I have less energy for me. It's just harder to feel grateful. It's my brain is like focused on just rest and Now thinking about all kinds of things that have happened Throughout the day and just is is more likely to To be influenced by by negative things negative thoughts and For for a while. I tried to fight it. But i've seen that. This is this is how i work like when i am blow. And they're g. It's really hard for me to get the the resources to to just have a positive outlook can and be grateful. And i just know that i need to rest and trust that Tomorrow with new energy. I will be able to To get back on track with granted you and with a positive outlook on life and the world and i think this is This is another important part of moat energy. Right now it's about how we manage it and Knowing ourselves in how we work. And for instance i don't drink coffee And actually i think it's for that same reason i don't feel the need for cortisol. I i've seen The facts that That traditional coffee have on me like i get a surge of energy and they get really agitated but then i feel so sleepy that shall i can't do much and for me just doesn't work doesn't make any sense due to have this habit you know. Yeah yeah i think habit is maybe the key thing too because you know it's not that coffee itself as bad. It's more about the way that we use it in the dependencies that we build in coffee especially as a very physically addictive substance and we see it like on the on the spectrum of alcohol. It if i told you so many people are like. Don't talk to me until i've had my second cup of coffee. I just need two cups of coffee in the morning then. I'll be good to go if i said that to. You just need to glasses of wine in the morning. You know mental makeup to go. You'd be like you have a problem. But but we don't do that with coffee. And i would think that there have equally significant impacts on on ourselves and so it's about it's not that either of them in and of themselves are bad. It's about what's right for our body. What's right for our energy and having the the awareness and cultivating net that awareness to know. There are many people who can do a cup of coffee a day and it really just doesn't quite have have any negative impact. I would challenge many of those people though to try taking a month off and just see what happens because so often we are in a dependency and we don't actually acknowledge that it's we don't see the effects that it's having on us because we're so dependent on it But that said there are many who will be like. No you know it's fine and then you know now. I'm drinking coffee again. It's fine So there are those people but there are also many people that i think are using it as a way to Go beyond our bodies capabilities and like not rest when we need to rest and Your body gives us signals. Like i'm tired and very often in our culture. The responses drink coffee. I'm tired coffee. Know what your body is saying. please rest And i and. I also want to acknowledge understand you not. Everybody has the ability in the freedom and privileged to just when they want to learn. So i understand. There are many instances that might influence that decision. But if you have the capability to downshift even a little bit to do a little bit less to take it a little easier to you know sometimes begged my life is very busy and sometimes i'll just have two or three minutes between a call and all just lie on the floor and closed my eyes on put an amazon and that might be the only real rest that i get but doing that and actually taking that time instead of like checking my email. Some of it requires a bit of discipline. I need to rest and also perspective to see you know. Where can i actually removed something for my life. Where am i doing something that i actually don't want to do. Where am i telling myself that. I need to do or be something. That is actually not in alignment with me. Which is going to then be a net energy drain as well And so you know one of the things that i love about herbs that we we use adapted genyk herbs in our blend And the doctrines are that there's a whole lot of science around this but fundamentally they're they're helping your nervous system in your endocrine system handle stress better. It's actually exercise for your stress. So they're able to you. Know lifts ten pounds than fifteen pounds of stress more easily. And when you have a little bit of that buffer between you and stress you also have the ability to use perspective. You actually have more access to your cognitive executive function in your mind Which gives you more of that purview. More of the meta cognitive awareness to be like wait a second. I don't even like this. I why am i. You know trying to you. Know hang out with you know. Make myself more exhausted and more stressed by maintaining social relationships. That aren't actually serving for example. Or i keep telling myself. I have zero time to exercise but i really could you know. Take this phone call and take a walk around the block while i'm on the phone call for you or whatever and so having that just little bit of buffer to be able to see Ways that we can again source. Energy downshift are energy and just generally a healthier relationship to our bodies and the energy that we are gifted with is is a really beautiful thing and then sometimes that may include. I probably drink coffee myself about once a week. We have one blend that has coffee in it and then maybe once a month will actually get a lots of at a cafe or something and it's wonderful. I feel amazing. And i'm like yes awesome. I see people left covey and then You know it's it's kind of like. I'm i'm getting drunk. You know that's the. And i'm not gonna do that all the time as my as my normal mo but it's not a bad thing you know it's about finding the right pattern and the right Balance for your own life in your own body really having mad at whereas what works for you exactly exactly. That's what i believe it's most important and In my experience as well like. I'm not forcing myself for instance to feel grateful when nine ten really tired and i'm Defaulting to a state of just staying alive somehow I know that end to rest. And once i rest. I don't need to solve all of the the problems in in my head All of the the negative thoughts that they have. But i just need to rest to detach and after i do do so it somehow. The problems disappearance I have a new perspective and I have the the resources to to deal with that differently. And i think that's very important to To do and. I'm really happy that that you mention this because We we talk a lot about Our brain how it works and how we can actually get from a state of state of responsiveness instead of a state of Reacted reacting to the situation. So yeah i think it's it's amazing that That we have these kinds of attorneys that you're bringing this to to the world and I know that you've You've generated A special code for for our listeners. As well right yes yes we have a gratitude will get you twenty percent off at our store we at we are rasa dot com awesome awesome. Thank you very much for for being careless for sharing so many amazing ideas. And i think it was a really beautiful time spent Particularly spend time. And i'm really happy that that they had the opportunity to speak and to talk about energy and granted. You thank you likewise. Thank you so much georgians from pleasure.

Rodham colorado George bente genyk lopa colorado hugh browns dole rica robin russell radha costa moore don rossa
Appreciating What Is  Easy For Us Now - April Seifert

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

40:49 min | 7 months ago

Appreciating What Is Easy For Us Now - April Seifert

"And i would go to the tennis court with my mom. And i would have my mom hit balls at me and i would try to hit them with my racket because i was desperately trying to learn how to overcome this disability with because i i didn't know what else to do other than just keep trying even though it was making things incredibly difficult so when i got my vision back i remember thinking god life is easy like this is so easy and the same goes for when i was a you know experienced some paralysis for a while there. It was insanely difficult to walk like very very difficult to walk. And i think about this now i mean. I'm maybe thirty feet from a bathroom right now. That would have been incredibly difficult for me at the time. I can just like you know. Get up and walk over there. Go to the bathroom. No big deal. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot george in bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guests. And they're actionable tips. Had now the host of our podcast georgian. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to a new episode of gratitude. Podcasts today with us. We have april zeif worked. She is that design alive design. Actually strategist and She's doing that from a very interesting standpoint. She has had some health issues that we would think that would make her bitter person or negative person but Actually helped her become the person. She is today and Actually inspire many more people. And especially women if i understand correctly and I'm really happy to have her and for us to have this conversation april. Welcome to the gratitude. Podcast anki. i'm so happy to be here. I'm lead you are and I'm really looking forward to a six flooring. This topic of gratitude and my first question is how do you view gratitude from like. What's your personal definition of gratitude for me. My personal definition of gratitude is an intense appreciation for the present moment. So that could be Any any gifts that you have in the present moment whether they be small or sometimes very large taking an intentional approach toward each present moment to make sure that you are appreciating everything that life is bringing toward you and everything that you have in your life because there is always something even if it's small there's always something there that we can be grateful for so for me. It's an intense appreciation of the present moment. This is wonderful. This is fun. So simple i love. I love it when it's simple because it's easy to to apply and it's much more probable for us to to actually do it if we complicate things too much within do To overlook them to procrastinate But let us know a little bit more about you about your story. I think it's fascinating. And it's one of the reasons why i decided to to have you on the gratitude. Podcast and i'm sure that it will inspire menu of our listeners. Absolutely so my story. I grew up in the mid west in the united states and i grew up like You know my the my early childhood was like a lot of people's middle class household mom and dad normal childhood when i was about six years old though that all changed when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and at the time the cancer had had a chance to progress further than we expected it to over the course of the next five years he sought out every treatment he could possibly try and ultimately he lost his battle to cancer when i was eleven years old. So if you think about yourself as an eleven year old that's a really critical time of your life where you're starting to become your own person. You're really starting to become more capable as a person and here. This really big event happened to our family. And when i described that event to people today thinking back about it as an adult in a way that i can now process it when in a way that i couldn't at the time. I tell people that. That event was my first introduction to the concept of mortality to the fact that we as humans as people we are not guaranteed any days other than the ones that we're living right now. So you and i are guaranteed. Today were here right now. But we're not guaranteed tomorrow even and so that introduction and that i guess face to face realization of what mortality really is was something that really changed my life and changed the way that i think about how we live and now after that you know obviously my family went through an extremely difficult situation and we were grieving and we were trying to pick up the pieces like anybody could imagine that you would go through but another thing happened very shortly after that. I started getting sick so i had these very strange symptoms. My body was going numb. i was experiencing some blindness. I was experiencing some paralysis. I wasn't able to walk or right and again. I'm about twelve or thirteen years old at this time so it was incredibly embarrassing. It was really really awful and we would go to the doctor. We saw several doctors and all the doctors pointed toward my dad's death and said oh she must be attention seeking. She must be trying to get attention because she's gone through this really difficult set of circumstances. I'll fast forward through everything. I went blind twice. I hadn't a number of episodes of paralysis a number of things that you know Made just day to day life really difficult and ultimately after a year over year of tests and a just confusion. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. And i've been living with that My entire life so quite a few decades now and so that's very rare to be diagnosed with that type of condition as a young child and again now as an adult looking back. I tell people that that was really my second Introduction or my my second face to face realization that again life is not guaranteed the life that you have right now is not guaranteed to you and so we need to be intensely grateful for what we have at this present moment because we just don't know what could happen next so that's really the background that got me to where i am today. That's so true. That's so true. And it's interesting that it made me think of my own experienced with mortality I was raised mainly or a lot of my young life By my grandma and We always so my barons and even her always prepared me for the fact that she's not going to be there for all of my life like i. I knew that I would never know when should just Go at one point and That that made a huge impact on on me as well and It was very. I was appreciating her more. Of course since. I i knew that i'd never know shushi was healthy. She was okay but she was She passed the ninety years of Life and She was old even though she was still energetic and she was still doing things and yeah it it made me made me think about My my situation with her and the fact that knowing that life is in this way it made me stronger from one point of view and it also made me realize appreciate her much more. It's it's somehow similar and it somehow really really different from from your experience But how can you See life in in a positive way having had these kinds of experiencing experiences and having to to live with Multiple sclerosis like many people would go like in in a negative direction. How do you manage to to be positive. You know there. I would say there are phases to this and i think this is something that any person can do. I think any person can go through the process. That i'm about to describe and come out on the other side a much better stronger joyful person and so what i would encourage people to do and what i did is the first the first. Step that you take in. This is not an easy one. And i what i did is i really let the concept of mortality. Sit with me what we tend to do so for those listening. If you've had a friend or a family member who may have passed away or someone who's lost a spouse what we tend to do. Is we say oh. That person had cancer well. I don't smoke. i don't do what they did. I exercise whatever and we try to create distance between our cells and the situation that that person is going through meaning that person had to face their own mortality. That person lost their spouse. But this won't happen to me. Because i don't smoke. I exercise. I eat well. I do all the things. I don't do risky things. We try to put distance between ourselves and the concept of mortality. And i suggest to people the first step is to close that distance and to release it with the notion that each of us one hundred percent the thing you can take to the bank and bet every dollar you will make for the rest of your life and win. The thing you can bet on in life is that it's finite and that sounds so depressing again but when you can accept that fact and it takes a bit you need to sit with it for a while and you need to just let it take. Take up space in your heart. You need to let it take up space if you can do that. It puts everything else in perspective. So if i'm not going to be here some day to be with my children. My dad wasn't there when i got married. He didn't walk me down the aisle. My dad wasn't there when my daughters were born. He never met his grandkids. Do you know how grateful. I am for the day today that i'm going to have where i got to wake up with my daughters and have breakfast with them this morning. My dad doesn't get to do that right now. And for me as i was sick. I remember being paralyzed. I remember being blind and not knowing whether it would get better and come back because it can and in my case it did. And i'm very grateful for that as well but it can get better but it's not guaranteed and again folks listening to this. Don't put distance between me and you because your health isn't guaranteed either. Each of us is one phone. Call from dr away from telling us. I know you thought you were healthy. But you're not and again. That should not be depressing. That should give you license to live the life that you want to live. That should put everything into perspective for you. What your neighbor or your friend or your high school classmates on facebook or whatever whatever they think about how you are living. It doesn't matter because you you get one life you get one finite life and you can live every single day in a way that brings you joy in his aligned to the person that you are and allows you to participate in life. That is what you should be focusing on not whether you're going to do it slightly imperfectly imperfectly. A perfectly. not whether somebody's going to judge you for it or have something to say about how you decided to live. You should be living for you because you get one life and it is finite and it is such a gift. So that's really the process that i went through. You have to sit with the fact that your life is finite and that is not easy but if you can do it your whole world will open up. I promise I was as thinking of How at least. I feel whenever i'm sick like if i have a cold or something I always think about how how great it is. When when i'm healthy you know and i think this perspective actually helps us realized that like from the perspective that We might be sake or we might will certainly die at one point of course To enjoy the things that we are able to do right now to enjoy the fact that we are alive and to realize that we are alive. We're here and this is. This is no no small thing and Yeah i love that perspective. And i think it's it's tough but it's It's also very helpful for us due to realize because we we tend to forget so many of the simple things that make our life amazing and It's a pity absolutely. I totally agree. And it's so easy. People walk through their life half asleep. They walked through it with so little intention and they don't even really experience half of what there is to experience in a given day there half asleep just sort of moving through the motions going to work the commute the bills the whatever the grocery store didata dot to dot. They don't realize that those pieces those are life like you're not getting anything else like all. It is is a series of today's strung together. So if you're not going to do something and and to fully participate and fully get everything you can out of this one single life that you're gonna get again that's finite it requires intention and it requires you really thinking about. What can i do with my time today. What can i do today. That is gonna bring me or someone else. Joy that i'm going to be able to do so that i can experience and appreciate display that i've been given that requires intention and so many of us and i did this to for a long time. Wander through life half asleep unintentionally just a leading letting life happened to us instead of fully participating or even intentionally creating the experience that we want. This is a great idea. But how how do we do it. How how do you do it. When when should we Said the intention. How can we set the intention Yeah so this is something that i work with people on the first thing that i ask people to do is become self aware so the approach that i take. It may seem a little bit Sterile or like. It doesn't apply here but i take a very human centered design approach to helping people in this area. So think about some of the most amazing products that you use right. People carry their iphone around as though it's attached to their body The iphone the tesla the instant pot. These amazing products were created because somebody sat down and they thought about the humans the people and what their goals were and what their needs were and what their pain points. Are they thought about those people. And then they designed a product around those people and their needs and goals and desires. What if we take that exact same approach and we apply it to our lives. It's some of the most important work you'll ever do. So what i tell people to do. And what i helped them do is step one. Get really self-aware. What are your strengths. What are your weaknesses. What are your goals your desires your values those core things that are yours and yours alone. They are not. You don't need to worry about anybody else. Because in this case we're designing your life we're taking a human centered and there's only one human in it you're it you're the one human in your life right. Yes there's other relationships that you have your it one human and so. I asked people to get really self-aware once we're really self aware of what our strengths and values and all those good things are then we start to look at. What does your current day look like. Now what is your job. Look like now. What are your relationships your health. Would you do for fun. Really take stock of your entire life. What does it look like now. And what parts feel really good. And what parts. Don't so this is where we get a little analytical on it which parts are feeling like there's some friction there. Those are the parts that we're going to go after those are the parts that become a design challenge for us and then we decide. Okay step three. What's our ideal state those parts that feel like there's friction there what's the ideal and when we know what that ideal is now. We have a direction to go. So let's start making small changes. Some people make small changes. Most people make small changes small changes in the direction of that ideal. Keeping in mind that self-awareness step small changes that leverage your strength. Small changes that. Keep you in line with your values that drive you closer to the things and the feelings that you desire to have. How do we point you in the direction of that ideal state and get you going on that path now. Other people do really big sweeping things like they quit jobs and move and that kind of thing. That's fairly rare. Most people take intentional. Steps each day using this framework. That i helped them create and they literally overtime design a life and create a life that starts to feel so much better data day and that is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself because again it all kinda ties together. You're only getting one life. It's finite it is a gift and if you can live it to the utmost if you can design and experienced that lets you wake up and live your life fully and participate in it. That's amazing and so this framework is something that i just teach people to do so they can just go on and do it in the future and you know as their life changes as relationships. Change as they change you can reapply it and sort of adjust course and make sure that you're still actively participating in your life because it is such a gift beyond the nest is an innovative trouble. Community built for the post covid world designed by do amazing open hearted travelers and cross generational women business leaders. These women believe in the transformative power of travel and known that in twenty twenty one people will one mordon what travel us to offer beyond the nest offers a series of bespoke international and domestic retreats for small groups who value education and luxury equally. Each retreat takes place at the five star. Venue featuring renowned experts and lucid experiences like private artis light gallery tours their motto is. There's no reason your days of motivation. Recalibration and adventure can end with a five star onside massage beyond the nest is already sending out spots for their first few trips. Visit the website. That behind the net dot org and mentioned ingratitude. Podcast for a fifteen percent discount on your first trip. That's so true. We we sometimes fall into some patterns and Even though there are so many amazing things going on in our life. We just don't have the time or don't have the the attention necessary to see them to enjoy them to be grateful for them. And that's that's really sad because maybe half a year ago or a year ago we would have loved to have those kinds of experiences and I think that it's it's really important to become aware of what we're doing. Each and every day and of course to the power of his intention is is really big but my part in in how i see things from gratitude standpoint is to start seeing those Amazing things from each day more and to to focus on them more because they exist for each and every one of us but if we we stack the negatives that challenges that we have of course we will get a feel depressed or sad or anxious but if we do the reverse the reverse my stacking the positives the things were grateful for we will see life and our life especially with different is right agreed. I totally agree. You know a big turning point for me. I was in graduate school. I was getting my phd in psychology. And i was sitting at my desk and there were journal papers and research papers all over the place. I was writing a really large paper for a class. And i was sitting there looking around and at this time i would say i was one of those people who is half asleep just sort of going through their life. I looked around. And i saw all these journal papers and in the back of my mind there. Was this little voice. Who is saying there are things that you wanna do. You've always been curious about whether you could. You could do some like distance. Running was an example of something that i wanted to do. But i wasn't doing. You've always been curious about these things that you'd like to try but you're not doing them. And the critical point the thing that hit me like a truck at that moment this little voice in the back of my head said what would your dad give for the day that you're wasting today. What would you a who could barely walk at one time. What would you at that time. Give for the day that you're wasting today and that hit me like a truck and i realized it doesn't matter i'm going to go try to distance run and if i fail big deal. It doesn't matter. If i go and try to run a marathon and i come in last place. It doesn't matter it doesn't because all that matters is that i went out there and i tried something that made me happy and i tried something that i thought was fun. It doesn't matter that you didn't do a perfectly or that other people might be judging you because you're not a great runner. I'm so slow so slow but it's so much fun and it brought joy and it it just ultimately at the end of the day it doesn't matter it added to my life experience. It's not hurting anybody else. And i mean what would a person who you love who was close to you in your life. What would they give for the day that you have today and this too is something that for people who may have lost someone recently. It can be difficult when you lose someone When someone else dies it can be difficult. You can feel guilty sometimes for moving forward and enjoying life. When that person's not here. I would encourage you to ask yourself the same thing. What would they do. What would they give to have the day that you have today. They love you. They want you to enjoy life. And it's your job to enjoy life as much as you possibly can because i mean if for no other reason that person would give anything to have the time that you have right now and that's an incredible gift. That's so true so true. I love the perspective. And i think it's really helpful for us to see things from from that point of view because when we are so focused in our lives we we. We lack perspective. Sometimes when we don't realize how it is to be in someone else's shoes and to Maybe for them to just dream of the life that we are having and I think this is really really powerful. And it can be really really helpful for us to see live from from other people's perspective. Like for instance on one thing that i do for instance when i when i see Blind people on the street. A realize. I i empathize and i realized how blessed i am to be able to see because that person isn't able to enjoy all the callers that time seeing i'll have the beautiful scenery and many many things flowers and all kinds of things that they just cannot see that they just cannot enjoy and even if we all have this or at least most of us have This gift we don't see it as a gift. We say something normal because everyone has it. So why should we appreciate it. It's it's not something to be to feel bad about because we get used to things. But it's i think it's a good reminder to to appreciate tend to look at things like like you're saying actually to be aware to really look at them to really appreciate them to really see all of the callers all of the shapes everything that that makes them beautiful and interesting by the way. How was it for you. How was it for you after Having had the period in which you weren't able to see. I mean you you definitely do appreciate just the ease of life. How life is when you have that ability for awhile. I didn't and i was in high school at that time. So something as simple as to school in the morning was more difficult and going through my classes. I wasn't Because of the way. That ms Operates the blindness comes on relatively quickly. So it's not as though my school was able to provide me with any assistance or that they were even ready for me to be a student with a disability which is essentially what i was at that time and so i was going to my normal classes with books that i could barely see and in a classroom that you know. Sometimes i didn't know what we were doing I was in sports. I remember at one point. My vision was it was either. It was either going away or coming back right in that that middle period where you can kind of see but you kind of can't i experienced really severe double vision and so i would go. I was playing tennis at the time on a team. And i would go to the tennis court with my mom and i would have my mom hit balls at me and i would try to hit them with my racket because i was desperately trying to learn how to overcome this disability with because i just i didn't know what else to do other than to just keep trying even though it was making things incredibly difficult so when i got my vision back i remember thinking god life is easy like this is so easy and the same goes for when i was experiencing paralysis for a while there. It was insanely difficult to walk like very very difficult to walk. And i think about this now i mean. I'm maybe thirty feet from a bathroom right now. That would have been incredibly difficult for me at the time. And i can just like you know. Get up and walk over there. go to the bathroom. No big deal. So it's those little things that you take for granted and a two year point. No one should feel bad about taking them for granted. They're tiny little things right but those little things when they're taken away they become big things and so for people. I guess the thing that i urge people is in this kind of goes back to something. I said earlier even when things are really bad. That's when you go to those little things right. Even those little things might be the only thing you have be grateful that you could get up and walk to the bathroom that can also be taken away like there are small things that you can go to even when stuff is really awful but in the you know in the context of your normal day just intentionally appreciating the fact that you have a day today and intentionally appreciating the fact that if you wanted to you could cancel that meeting or you could leave ten minutes earlier and you know. Spend some time walking through a park taking a couple of deep breaths just to sort of recenter yourself. You have luxury and that control that sometimes and boundaries are a big deal. Also that i teach people that you have that luxury in that control but it takes them intention to set up a boundary. That allows you to have that that flexibility to do some of those things in so you know to your point. You shouldn't feel bad that you're not you know thinking every day about how grateful you are that you have access to ice cubes for your water or something tiny like that but you know take some intention think about in my current state right now with what i have going on right now. What are a few things. I can be grateful for and it just requires you making the decision to do that each day and your life will change when you do metaphorically definitely i think this is a really strong perspective and a really useful one especially like you're saying you for for people that can't find much to be grateful for. It's such a said since such an interesting perspective to thing that it would be something really hard and really amazing to be able to go to the bathroom right now and For me at least since. I've rarely very rarely very rarely Had this situation. it's it's really hard to To put myself in in in that situation but I'm i'm guessing it's it's really hard than it's really disheartening. To know that something that simple can be so complicated Yeah absolutely and In your life through those times and throughout your life who would be the people that you would like to mention that you're grateful for there are so many people I'm incredibly grateful for my mom. My mom stepped up for our family. You know the the statistics of kids who come from single parent. Households aren't great. They're not they could be worse but they're not great My mom turned us into strong. Respect respectful hardworking kids who became strong respectful hardworking adults and that is not easy she also went through an incredibly difficult time just trying to afford our house payment after my dad passed away and she worked so hard and then when i got sick i appreciate this even more now that i have daughters but when i got sick my mom still required me to do my chores even when i couldn't walk if it was my day to do the vacuuming i still had to figure out a way to do it. And that taught me resilience so much resilience and so. I'm so grateful to her for that. I'm also grateful to my husband. Who helps me he. And i you know as people are listening to me. Say these things. There's probably a few out there who are thinking right like she really lives like this. There is no way anybody you know actually thinks about this stuff on a day-to-day basis. No i'm telling you we do my husband and i talk about this on almost a daily basis because he has the same outlook he got there in a different way but he helps me keep things in perspective and he helps me maintain that level of gratitude every single day and then daughters also. I mean man if there is anything that teaches you a lot about yourself. It is becoming apparent it is just an experience like no other and those two little girls have taught me more than i could ever imagine and they are just a bright spot in every single day even when they're being crazy they're still a bright spot in every single day. So those folks i would definitely like to mention. That's amazing that's amazing and i love. I love that part About what you just said about your mom. The fact that you had to do your chores. I think i think kids it it. It goes into something. That's that's really important for us. Humans i dunno. If i'm if i'm seeing this right what the fact that we have meaning like. We have something that we can do. That's not just for us that we're doing for other people as well and i think this is really powerful and it can be really Helpful for us to to see that we we we have this meaning and that I don't know it's something. That's really deep Ingrained in our being. Am i seeing this right. Yeah absolutely and you can see it in the work that you do to podcasting. I know this as well. I have a podcast as well. This isn't it's not easy. It requires a fair amount of work. And it's not that amount of work and just added. I don't know stresses the right word but just added complexity to your day when most of us have jobs and other things outside of the podcast that we run. It's a labor of love and you can see it in the work that you're doing you're putting content out there to help people stay focused on gratitude and that is such a service to the folks who listen to you because you know it is it's a meaningful activity to be doing and when you're when you're focused on helping other people do better and be better it just makes it just makes you that much more motivated to keep going definitely. Mathematically i agree with every word you just said and It's it's something very important for us to do land if we if our listeners are in in a bad state doing something for other people that you feel it's meaningful for you and for them can can really take you out of the state but we're nearing the end of our time together and i wanted to ask you work. Our audience find you work in our audience. Your work. yeah you can find me actually very easy to find online. You can find me at april. Cypher dot com. So april like the month s. e. i. f. e. rt dot com. And there you can find The work that i'm doing around life design. You can also find my podcast. It's called women inspired Comes out weekly with a content to inspire women and men. There's some brave men who listen to me too But inspire people to live their best lives and design the experience that they wanna have so april. Cypher dot com is the best place to find me. Shoot me a note. I'd love to hear from you. Yeah so thank you so much. It was amazing. Hearing from you and Having you on the gratitude podcast thank you so much once again for being here and for sharing so many interesting in the things with us. Oh my gosh my pleasure and thank you for what you're doing. It is such a service to the people who are listening to you. So i really appreciate it. Thank you he gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been georgia banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

paralysis Bente zeif shushi Multiple sclerosis cancer tennis artis light gallery colon cancer confusion united states facebook georgia
The Magic Of Love & Gratitude - Guy Finely

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

48:52 min | 8 months ago

The Magic Of Love & Gratitude - Guy Finely

"Love has brought us together so that we can grow in an understanding of love through each other. That's the beauty of this higher. Gratitude is the realization that i didn't bring my partner in my life. I wasn't the one who chose the the the thing that i love to do. In this world. I was drawn to it because through being attracted to my partner to what i love in life. The mountain top the hike the birds whatever it may be. I am revealed to myself. I get to discover that we're not for that love. I would never know the love that lives in me so that love is in fact not just the mirror in which i see these beautiful things but it is the mirror in which i see myself as an instrument of this love. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on. Www dot georgia bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week. That will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life. Stories of our success will guess. And they're actionable. Tips had now the host of our podcast georgian. Bente high gratitude seeker. Welcome to new episode of gratitude. Podcast today with us. We have guy finley. He's a bestselling self help writer and internationally internationally renowned spiritual teacher. He's the author of over forty five books and audio programs and video programs including his acclaim book. The street secret of letting go. He's popular books and audio programs. Several of which have become international. Bestseller's have sold over two million copies worldwide. This episode is supported by premium. Jane with free shipping on all products premium. Jane is dedicated to delivering the natural benefits of. See the to those who truly need it. Go to premium gene dot com and save twenty percent with coupon code gratitude. His considered a modern day. Mystic and practical philosopher guys wisdom cut straight to the heart of today's most pressing personal and social issues relationships success addiction stress peace happiness freedom and lease the way to a higher life guy has been featured has been a featured guest on over seven hundred television and radio shows including national appearances on abc. Nbc cbs cnn and npr. He is a regular contributor to the huffington post. Belief net positively positive and many more in two thousand eleven. He launched the one journey project and award-winning interfaith website. Illuminating the unseen spiritual unity underlying all world religions. I think that's amazing and will definitely Get this at one point. But i guy welcome to the gratitude podcast. Thank you georgian. And i am thankful to have the time with you. So am i really happy to have you here. And to have this conversation you're also The author of a of a new book relationship magic waking up together. I think that's a beautiful beautiful Idea waking up together and we will speak about This book as well in in this interview but Firstly i would like us to go into a concept that i think it's it's very fascinating that you have Divine dissatisfaction I know that you That you have a really interesting perspective. On the fact that we get the satisfied in our life at times and i'm really curious how this divine dissatisfaction relates to grant it you in a very important way georgian. The idea of divine disatisfaction is directly related to gratitude. So let's examine it together for a moment first. Let's to describe what divine dissatisfaction is. Because it's just a term that i coined to describe a very common experience that all of us have that most of us don't quite understand. Its meaning all of us and you please advocate for. The listeners are pretty fortunate in life relative to others that we see other countries other cultures. Where people aren't afforded as much opportunity as at least potentially we in the west and in your country and other First world countries are capable of allowing human beings to be and as such georgian. We have so much that we're we're we so much opportunity so many ways in which we can go into the world and not just make our way but through our efforts received the rewards of our Of the things that we have chosen to do. And here's the point the divine dissatisfaction. If the things of if i'm sorry about that different things if the things of the world in and of themselves we're capable of making us feel whole completing us getting that sense of of arriving at at a satisfaction if they could do that ended up themselves georgian. We would already feel complete. We wouldn't be running around looking for hoping that the next thing that we're going to do we're finally turn the table and make us free and that it doesn't and the reason that all of these relationships in the world fail to make us whole bring about the freedom lasting sense of it that we want is because there is something in us that needs something more than what this world can give to us in the end this is. This is the impulse behind all men and women who seek a relationship with god with christ with the divine whatever it is that we may call that so divine dissatisfaction is just a way i say that if the world itself had the power to produce in us a lasting sense of happiness and wholeness we would have found it by now and we haven't so that's the first part divine dissatisfaction. The second part is that little by little as we realize this. We begin to understand that the disappointments in our life relationships that did not bring about what we hope they would even though they may be good. I've been married for forty years georgia. I'm the luckiest man on earth. But both my wife and i understand that there are relationships that belong to this world and then there is another relationship that we only eventually come to realize with something that is interior something that is spiritual in nature and that's where the real gratitude is because eventually we start to realize that we can have what this world offers us but when we have what if you will god the divine offers us. What real love provides. Then we have the whole thing where we have a gratitude. That can't be taken away from us when the world around us changes because it belongs to a change this world. That's the point. Well that's so deep and so beautiful. It's it's an interesting perspective on gratitude that And i have never heard before as as a feeling that that is so deep. That's actually like that can be ocean in the bottom of the ocean regardless guardless of the ways. It's still there. It's still yes yes. So they've yeah and and look at. I hope we don't get too deep too fast. You keep me. Keep me up on the top here no problem. I mean georgian. We go through this world our lives and again by grace by effort the combination we succeed and become respected. Maybe in our profession. We were fortunate enough to have a family if we are. We have our health but all of the things that we experience in this life that define us presently as human beings belong to the conditions around us and when we live as human beings dependent upon conditions that we have no actual control over then the condition changes and when it does. Our contentment goes flying out the window. I could be the richest man in the world and if somehow something happens the the coffee crop sales in brazil and a coffee lover. Suddenly i feel like i don't have anything because something that defined me outside of me has changed and now i don't know who i am for that moment so i have fear and i'm saying that we can't really have a deep and constant gratitude for being alive until we begin to realize that part of our life. The purpose of it is to bring us into a relationship with a love alight. A truth that is unconditional. And that's what my new book relationship. Magic actually talks about and helps the reader realize that there is a relationship that we can have with something higher than ourselves that brings about in our everyday relationships a much greater gratitude for them because we start to realize the true purpose that all of our relationships have which is to introduce us to parts of ourselves that otherwise we would never ever know. I love that perspective. So it's actually a way in which we explore our cells basically relationships we're in and The the interesting part that we don't always like what we see especially when it comes to deeper relationships like in family or in a couple of relationship many things that we don't particularly like come up. What do we do with them. But that's perfect. Okay so look. This is delightful georgian I live in southern oregon in the united states. And for those who don't know about southern oregon. It is a a a mountainous tree covered beautiful part of the country and by by fortune i live on top of a small mountain just outside of a little community called merlin oregon where i live in teach and i'm looking out the window right now. I wish that everyone could see. There's three deer that are grazing or maybe thirty feet from where i sit there. Friends of mine. I've been feeding them and their family for twenty years. There's turkeys squirrels. There's burs my feeder and the sun is out and all the trees with their new leaves from spring are are reflecting this beautiful light now. I said here and i know i'm lucky. I have such gratitude. The gratitude is because when i look out in this world that i live in revealed within me because of what i see is a quality and a character in my consciousness that i wouldn't ordinarily no without being in relationship with the world that i'm looking at so we all should understand that we go to the ocean. We look a mountain range. We we go outside and see a a timeless night sky. Why are we drawn to these things because when we are in relationship with them in the moment they are literally awakening and revealing in us a certain beauty a certain depth. A certain character that we don't know lives in our consciousness until the condition allows the revelation of it so the first point is that these conditions outside of us that we love reveal to us moments and qualities in ourselves that we also love because they are deep and abiding and stirring aspiring in their appearance. So then we meet somebody. And we i fall in love. Everybody knows what that's like. We can't get enough of the person we're with is they. They are doing for us. What i've described my partner is revealing to me things about myself that i had no idea lived in me. The passion the the willingness and the longing to give something up for the sake of them all of these wonderful attributes are awakened by my partner. And i love basically not just by partner but i love my partner because through the relationship i am being completed. I am gaining a new kind of self realization through the revelations they are bringing into my life. Are you following me georgia. Yeah that's how to your question. So we love i call it. The woohoo stage win our partner reveals to us all of these magnificent deep passionate parts of ourselves. Now i get to the woohoo. The boohoo stage from wuhu to boo because the same principle is now working my partner instead of mirroring being the mirror of my consciousness of things in me i want to see by divine grace by good fortune. They are revealing in the mirror of this relationship. Parts of my consciousness. I did not know where their limitations demands sears jealousies qualities of a level of consciousness. That are still in me. But that i am asleep to until my partner pushes that button stirs in me. That particular order of self and i go. Oh my god and then rather than than looking and saying you know what thank you. I'm grateful for you helping me. Wake up to these parts of myself instead of that i go no. You're to blame. You're the one responsible for this unwanted feeling this revelation and that's where we missed the mark in our relationships not just with our partners but with every moment and every person everywhere in the world because that's what relationships are their purpose is to awaken us first and foremost to what is beautiful and satisfying and then awaken us to these parts of ourselves. That are in the way of realizing that the relationship can bring about a complete new order of self a new discovery that releases us from who and what we've been that is limited. Sorry to go on for so long. But i wanted to get the big idea out. No this is perfect because it's a very deep concept and a very powerful one and It's very applicable like For our listeners we can go into relationships and of course when things are great and When we have gratitude practices it's easy to to see the beautiful things In our partners but there are times when that can be quite the challenge and I know that guy also has a really beautiful perspective on the bane that we feel when we argue for instance and Hurting together and the fact that when Your partner or yourself is or you are in pain. You're actually hurting together. Can you Duck a little bit about this concept with us. I think it's it's really beautiful. Yes i. I'm i'm grateful that you Found that section of the book and are drawn to it because it's so important for us to understand what when we hear it. I'll say it we go. Of course that's true but when we get negative when we don't understand the reason for the pain we're feeling with our partner. We forget completely. The following love can't turn into hatred. love doesn't cultivate. Resentment love never separates it. Integrates love heels. that's its nature. it doesn't hurt and as we know if we know anything about scripture east or west perfect love casts out fear it doesn't create fearful conditions. So we know the beauty of love with one part of us but when we are stirred into some kind of suffering by an action that our partner is taking us. We completely forget the beauty of that love and instead are blinded by our negative reaction. So here's the first point when we are negative georgian. We are blind pure and simple. We go blind. We go blind because all we can see in the moment we're negative is the one we blame for our pain. The important point here is that. And i'll ask you georgian when you get upset with somebody if you're angry with someone or feel somehow betrayed in that moment. Are you happy with your partner. Are you a content human being or before you express the negativity. The anger the regret resentment before you express that pain. Are you not in pain yourself. And isn't the fact that you're in pain the reason why you're lashing out at your partner. Isn't that why we lash out at our partner. We're i in pain. Exactly exactly all right so we in that moment are in pain and we are blaming our partner for our pain so now we lash out at our partner and what happens to our partner when we lash out at them they happy are they content or by the fact of are wanting to punish them or proves that we're right does that action not produce pain and subsequent response in them. So what happens when two people are sitting there and each of them is convinced that the other person is responsible for their pain when the fact of the matter is and this is critical. My partner did not create pain in me. My partner revealed that there is pain in me waiting to be stirred awake based on something. That is as simple as me. You correcting me. We don't like it when our partner corrects us. We think it's natural to lash back to say well. You're just like that or you do that to instead of understanding that the reason we've summarily resist. Our partner in that moment is because we have without knowing it and expectation that lives inside of us that we should never be corrected that were beyond being guided by someone. Our opinion is only opinion. Now when we're quiet and calm. We don't think that about ourselves. Do you think to yourself georgia that you're beyond reproach and that you're you're a perfect human being no no of course not but if someone challenges you what happens get defensive. Yes i'm right you're wrong. Here's the point if i'm negative. I'm wrong. I'm not wrong because this negatively As suddenly been revealed in me. I'm wrong because i'm rejecting the revelation of that level of consciousness that my partner has revealed. That's the beauty of partnerships. It isn't just that we get along perfectly. It's that there is a perfect accord possibly between us where instead of blaming each other for what is revealed through our relationships. We use the revelation as a form of self realization. So that i can begin to wake up to the demands that i place on my partner from perhaps past experiences where i'm jealous man or a jealous woman. Not because i see my partner looking around. But because i've had other moments of feeling betrayed and my partner may not even be looking around at another person but i look at them and that's what i see because it comes up from the past in me and it pounces my partner and often produces by the way the very thing i fear will happen. Yeah exactly so. I understand to actually realize my partner is in pain to we. Never think to ourselves when we're fighting with our partner that they're suffering like we are because all we know is that we want to get rid of our pain and all we see is the one we blamed for it so that when we're blind love has no chance to work. Its magic and it's magic is to reveal to us that we are in this moment to gather. I'm not the one responsible for the pain. And your not the one responsible for the pattern. This pain is driving when we blame. But when we can see it we can begin to recognize. Someone has to change here. Someone has to drop the hatred. Someone has to see the pattern. Can't change if we're both driving it with dark angry thoughts and feelings and that revelation brings about the opportunity for sacrifice for real love which is giving myself up. Because i recognize the self that i am momentarily identified with that level of consciousness is the problem and not the solution. It promises if i do what it demands me to do. Then the pattern can change because at least one person in that pattern understands the only way it can change is if i see the truth of myself and accept it and stop identifying with who and what is trying to make me winner in that moment exactly exactly and what they found in in in my experience that focusing on the heart on on what you feel and on the love that you have for the other person works miracles and Thymus you can actually see or actually feel The fact that the words or the actions were out of pain and And i really love your concept of the fact that We are hurting together. But we're bringing loved to this and we are growing together through Through this love Now very important you said we are going together through this for love grilling together. Yes but the but the truth is that love has brought us together so that we can grow in an understanding of love through each other. That's the beauty of this higher. Gratitude is the realization that i didn't bring my partner into my life. I wasn't the one who chose the the thing that i love to do. In this world. I was drawn to it because through being attracted to my partner to what i love in life. The mountain top the hike the birds whatever it may be. I am revealed to myself. I get to discover that we're not for that love. I would never know the love that lives in me so that love is in fact not just the mirror in which i see these beautiful things but it is the mirror in which i see myself as an instrument of this love. This is such a powerful important idea because as we awaken to that we start to recognize and you said it very well. If i actually saw that might parker was suffering because of what i was doing and what i was doing i was doing because i blame them for my pain. I even write a whole chapter about this in the book. If i could see another human being suffering because of my actions i would have to bring an end to that action because love will not allow a human being to make another human being suffer it will not allow it. that's called conscience and conscience is asleep in us. It's been put to sleep by a world driven mad with pain. it doesn't understand and the more it doesn't understand the 'cause the nature of that pain the more it produces different solutions phoney baloney laws and moral codes to keep the thing ideally at a peaceful state when it's not it's just a way in which the pain stays hidden and if we want the world to change we have to start changing ourselves through our relationships and what they showed to us about these unconscious parts of ourselves that we've been instrumental but can finally learn to see and release understand. That's that's quite amazing and very very powerful and deep and it makes you think like how our individual relationships sexually have an impact on the world and Basically this this is. This is the world and how it's created by and through relationships. But i wanted to get to to another part of your book How do we get to Feel that fresh start again that magic in the relationship and that appreciation that we we felt in the beginning. If you and i were to transport back in time let's say to even the eighteen hundreds and we took with us a little pocket flashlight and we pulled the flashlight out and showed someone that we met there. The light coming out of this little they would say. Oh my god. You're a wizard wouldn't they. They'd say that's magic now. We know it's not magic. 'cause we understand something about a little light bulb we understand about an led. We understand about batteries. The conveyance of electricity into an instrument so the book is called relationship magic waking up together because there are moments when and we've been talking about it leading up to this here i am and i was at the supermarket and somebody pushed right in front of me while i was getting ready to check out with two shopping carts loaded with small items so we all know what that's like we don't go. Gee so glad you're rude and pushed in front of me. We might even get negative and say something and it wouldn't end just there would it. We'd get in our car thinking about. How rude people are. We drive home. Maybe because we're caught up in thought get cut off by someone or cut someone off. They hawk at us. We get more mad then. We walk in the door and our partner says hi sweetheart and what do we do. We bark at them. Why because we're carrying the residue of this anger from the moments before. Now let's change the scenario. I get out of the car. And because i'm still angry. I dropped the bag of groceries. And my anger hits this peak moment and there because i have been willing to learn these principles i suddenly see. Oh my god. I am on fire. I've been reliving a moment seemingly for the sake of understanding it and getting rid of it but the more. I have a tendency to this moment. The more i ache for the revisitation of that pain and i understand now. The condition isn't causing this pain in me. It is a function of a level of consciousness. That doesn't know better than to keep reliving the thing it doesn't want and in that split second georgian. It's dropped. I am outside and the observer of on an state of myself that i was suffering from the moment before and now instead of suffering. I'm grateful for the revelation for the light. That showed me my unconscious state so i walk into the house full of a refreshed understanding not bringing my partner my pain but literally bringing my partner a new human being with a new level of understanding about himself so that i don't bring my pain to my partner i bring a fresh insight and when i'm a little bit different by law any relationship i'm in is also refreshed. There's a new possibility because just as an example the magic of being transformed by the revelation and my agreement to see the truth of it allows my partner as an extra space because maybe they have the same day. I did and their negative so i walk in and i see their negative but i understand in that moment why they're negative their living from the same level of consciousness. I almost brought into the house with me. So i don't attack back. I give them space. I let them manifest what they do. Because if i don't resist them they will see what they're like. I call it the jujitsu love. They throw a punch psychologically. And i just step out of the way. I don't try to stop it. I don't try to hit back. Let them experience their nature without interfering with it. Then my partner has the chance for a magical moment to see. I'm not fighting with them. So they're paying has nowhere to go. They have to see their pain. Then we have the chance of to uman beings each discovering something to themselves and bringing a new understanding into the relationship that refreshes the relationship and their loved together because of it. Wow this is beautiful. And it. It makes so much sense and i i could really relate to it and i could think of situations where where i was able to do that and it was also menstruation in which i wasn't and It didn't turn. They're not that That good but it's it's so powerful and Yes yes but georgian. And i know by the tone of your voice and your spirit that even the moments that you were not able to do the goods that you would put rather did the the bad the evil that you didn't want those are learning moments if i if i don't come out of a moment where i see you know what i can't i can't believe that i. I flipped out. And i understand that. That moment isn't so that. I can judge myself as being bad isn't to walk around with guilt because i wasn't able to do the good that i wanted instead of blaming myself or the world for my negativities. I understand that in that moment this unconscious nature was simply greater than my ability to recognize and release it. But because of it. I will be more vigilant. I will understand that. When i'm not properly attentive. Wanting to witness the revelation the moment produces in me that an unattended mind is the breeding ground of defeat. So i gained from that moment. The lesson that i must be more mindful. I must be more attentive to myself. Christ said physician heal thyself. That's what he's talking about. She says love the enemy that means learn to recognize that the people that you want to blame are actually people that you should learn to appreciate because they are helping you discover the part of you that can only go blind when challenged and that you don't wanna be a blind human being anymore. You wanna be a human being who sees the truth of himself or herself and that's what your partner. That's what the problems that's what this life brings to us are ways in which we can begin to realize an order of love in us that cannot be turned into its opposite. Wow this is amazing. it's and I want to get back to to something that. I mentioned in the beginning Due to wrap this up. I think at least in my experience and i would love to hear your perspective on this I've i've been curious about Different ways of seeing god than the spirituality religion and for me Do spill spiritual truths that. I've seen That i felt that were everywhere. Were gratitude and love. What's your take on this. What if we what if we understood not just intellectually and not just because we had a deep meditation or a bit of grace granted through prayer or that through mindfulness. There was an epiphany that made us feel whole. What if we understood from the inside out that our life our consciousness not mine not georgians not the individual listeners but our consciousness itself he is a reflection of something divine that the world we are in literally exists as a school for our higher education. Not a place that we raced through to win something but literally a level a kingdom in which the principal gold the riches are the revelations that are all built into the moment. We are in and that the purpose of every moment of our life is the transference of this understanding that we are created for the purpose of fulfilling the realization of our relationship with this divine love and intelligence that permeates every fiber of our being if we understood that as true mystics as true saints the true saints the true mystics in this world will all say that there is a divinity that sits at the bottom of all revelation and that it is this divinity that does not have a name that longs to be realized and have its will recognized through the instrument it created for that purpose. And that's what we are as human beings so the idea of naming god and of hating anyone who doesn't love god we love is an act of a mind that is blind to its own definition of what the divine is when we understand even a little bit of that then every moment at least this is how i understand it. We begin to see that all things good come to those for whom the good is all things and when we see that nothing bad can come out of a moment where we are introduced to parts of ourselves that are self punishing or that. Lash out at others. What else is that but good because we can begin to die to that part of ourselves as a result of the revelation. So that's the grand good. And that's ultimately the grand gratitude a life that is free of fear because we are created to transcend the fearful parts of ourselves born out of being conditioned by a world. That's asleep to itself. Wow this is amazing. And it's is the perfect ending two dollar interview. Thank you so much for being hewitt us and for imparting so much wisdom and knowledge i really appreciate it and Indian let let our listeners know where they can find you. They can get your book. Thank you georgia. So one brief comment sure georgia jordan. And i both sit here and we can feel what's right. We re feel. I'm hoping the listeners can sense feel and acknowledged that these are important ideas. They're not mine. I just saved them. The way i the way i'm given to say them. I see these things. And i described them but we must act on the knowledge not enough to acknowledge the truth not enough to acknowledge gratitude and love. We must act on that knowledge. Then if we want to do that we need new self understanding because in the end all gratitude comes out of self understanding self knowledge grateful for a beautiful tree because the beautiful tree shows me its corresponding character in me that self-knowledge that self realization. If we want that we have to do our part if you want to learn more about what we talked about. There are several ways to do it. I if you're interested in the book go to relationship magic book dotcom relationship magic book dot com and on that page. You'll see away to order the book at a price. Basically that beats any online retailer and you get three gifts with it including the audio version of the book that i read go to relationship. Magic book dot com. You can order the book anywhere you want and use that same link to get the gifts. You just have to provide the receipt next. If you don't want the book but just wanna learn a little bit about this work that i'm doing go to my website which is guy finley dot org g. u. y. f. i n. l. e. y. guy finley dot org. And you can browse my website for years. Just taking the information there as you will. Lastly i'm on all the social networks. I post on instagram at least every other day. A short video. So i invite you to visit and partake of this knowledge so that we can all each every one of us begin to become a new human being born out of the revelation of the real reason for our relationships amazing. Thank you so much guy. You're a pleasure georgian. Pay gratitude seeker. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this interview. I really appreciate it and if you could think of one person that would also benefit from it. Share it with them. It might actually be the inspiration that they need to make their day or maybe even their life much better. Thank you so much once again. This has been georgia banta though forget to keep seeking and spreading gratitude.

georgia Bente oregon Jane wuhu finley huffington post npr Nbc cbs cnn abc brazil united states parker jordan guy finley