17 Burst results for "Ben Hardy"

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:36 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

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"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

05:30 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"So he said something about like you know I'm not gonna I'm not going to and I. Don't I'm not GonNa say I have an opinion, one way or another I'm just to prove the point. He basically said I'm not I would never play with someone who wouldn't Neil to the flags you know. He was just talking ochre, but what's interesting is that he literally made the same statement for years ago and no one cared. The, reason people care right now is because of the current environment the current context so like here's another example I use the word right when covid nineteen happened and I was little insensitive myself I was I wrote an email email list and I use the word viral. Just because it was a word I use I'm like this article is going viral. And I got like fifty emails and people like we not use that word right now. It was when it was like fresh. You know like if I use the word viral. Five months ago, no one would have cared, but but the context is what determines the meaning of the content. And, so when you change the context, change the meaning when you change the perspective, change the meaning, and so that's what happens to history all the time. We're always changing the meaning of former events experiences because we're looking at it from the vantage point of the present. That's how memory works, so here's the quote. I just wanted to give you that, so this is the quote from Brent's lives. We reinterpret or reconstruct our memory in light of what our mental says in the present. In this sense, it is more accurate to say that the present causes the meaning of the past than it is to say that the past causes the meaning of the present. So what a lot of people do is they blame the past on their present. They blame the past for who they are, but that's not how memory works with way more accurate to say that actually who you are in the president is determining how you view your past in growing evolving, choose to get more information, or you choose to face it. You're going to choose a different and better meaning in a different perspective. Therefore your memories going to change you're going to. To view the past differently from a Gospel perspective someone could come unto. Christ, in completely be redeemed, and they can view their past differently. You know that they were a senator or whatnot. Now you know in that through Christ, you know they could be redeemed, and so they're not going to be defined by the past anymore and also. They're going to see that they're not the same person who were in the past, and they're going to be able to hopefully view that as you know. That God use that to help them grow or something I mean. You're going to choose to view the past differently if you come to the Gospel, you. You'RE NOT GONNA be defined by it. That's for sure. This is why had you on the show Ben? And I'll have to say I I so strongly, vet, anyone and everyone on the show and the content of what we're. GonNa be talking about and I agreed to have you on our desired to before. I saw the book because I was such. A fan of what you wrote in willpower doesn't work and the way that you communicated as so palatable and so convicting and I. Find Myself Sitting here. Did with your last book want to go through this with my family with my wife because I. I almost feel like I've known better, but I have A. I have accepted. I have embraced my pass. I've embraced those tendencies propensities that have been put on me since I was a kid God. Bless them. But saying, Kevin's this Kevin that and we take those labels and I see myself, but to wonder just like we went back to our initial little counseling session twenty minutes ago ongoing. Why am I worn out and social situations? Is it because I am a label or is it because this is what I do so I've habitually done XYZ. No wonder I'm worn out by, it's just. At least in whatever various social situations you're in, they're just not that relevant to your current goals or interest at least those social situations. Maybe some that are exactly what you're looking for. We'll give you all the energy in the world. You know if you're meeting like a here. For some reason you're disassociating whatever the social situations you're going to. As these are things that are your. They're not. They're not seen as valuable to you. From what for one reason I'd rather just do this face. Taste I enjoy. Valuable in your perspective, it's not getting you where you wanting to go. Then yeah feels irrelevant Why am I wasting my time? This is draining. And I'm just I'm just GONNA thank. You folks. You need to read the book. We'll be talking more about it. I think just like willpower doesn't work. I'll be referencing this. Over three deeply. You'RE GONNA like this book. A thousand times more than willpower doesn't work I'm just telling. Enormous thing more important. I'm literally going to go through it deeply. I'm really excited to talk to honestly my wife and my kids. Hardcover we'll make sure you have one I I think I think he might have already given. An address? If you haven't I'll get it. We're GONNA. Make sure we get you hardcovers and stuff. I mean I. Want you to I. Want You to? I'm just glad I'm on your show man I'm. Here. It's just the. Powerful so I'm going to thank you for doing the book for investing in that and I will be doing all I can to help people hear this message because I get one of those free and things I've heard about your future south man and I said what that looks like an all aspects of your life I the level of freedom, freedom and responsibility, obviously two sides of the same coin, but I'm super excited about. I'm super tribe at your future self, and I'll put you committing to that, and obviously the courageousness of pursuing I am, too. I am too and I'm sitting here. Thinking I spent the past five days kind of sequestered writing my book. And there's a couple of spots where I'm going to go back in and reference this so I'll be talking to you about that, too man..

Kevin Neil Brent senator president Ben
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

05:58 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Reframing in choosing better meanings of anything I could choose whatever meaning I give to this experience, and that's also a choice. You can get good it framing in choosing how you see any event. You okay, so you're hidden on this again. This continual drumbeat of personality is so much. Train, we look at the past and how we frame it that that's a training and use made a statement. I made a note here, and it's my paraphrasing that we have surrounded. Let me give it. Let me give it a preface. We know the health and wellness when you want to make a change or we're back to Jim. Rohn you are average of the five people you hang around most so taking them to. Predictions of personality by the way. Okay well. That's where I'm going to hit. You made a statement I. Don't know why paraphrase but let me see if I said we have surrounded and attracted people and circumstances support our identities and patterns, which doesn't lend itself to change and evolving, so if we have people here in this right now, who hopefully do feel like okay, this is free and unlimited. By choice, but you're saying okay. To realize in essence is what I took realized that you have created a lifestyle and people around is import your current identity and personality exactly. That's support your current to support your current. Let's say habits and returns. Yeah, one of the biggest predictors obviously of who you are and how you show up. Is your social group like? Lottery search on this and you know Jim. Rohn hit the nail on the head, but Your Peer Group is going to predict whether you're gonNA, be a drug addict or not, whether you're GonNa, be an alcoholic what they're going to perform well in academics. What you're. GonNa be an entrepreneurial, and so obviously. If you're thinking about your future yourself and that's honestly the place you always have to start is who is the person you want to be? What are the circumstances you want to have? You know you didn't just land there by accident. You at some point. Cy Yourself doing podcasts. Maybe you were influenced by mini. By many things which you certainly were, but at some point you said I'm going to start doing this. And now you're doing it in the in whatever future you have in mind. That's the one you're actively creating in, so you need to really think who's the future self you want to be. This could expand beyond this life. This could be three years into the future. I really liked the timeframe of two to three years. Hoosier future self in three years from now journaling about this every single day, actively taking action steps that whole urgent, versus were important conversation, but if you put yourself in the right frame of mind in the morning, Meditate Pray Journal about your future self, and think what you things that I can do. They would obviously move in that direction I would call. Power moves could be a courageous asked. It could be just writing a blog post. Whatever it is, that would clearly move you in the direction of your future south. That's you living consciously. Versus you living on autopilot. Are You living reactively? Just waking up and getting plugged into your phone, getting plugged environment, and then just going through the motions and doing what's urgent. If you put yourself into the frame of mind where you activate, imagine in actively like eat the frog. You know as some people would say towards your yourself. That's where the whole deliberate practicing comes in, and that's where you can start changing your situation. Your circumstances in your attributes. And that's where you can start to become what week what we call in psychology psychologically flexible where you can become more flexible and confident. You're less defined by who you were in the past. You're not so defined by your current situation. You have a growth mindset. You can become flexible. Uncertain Situations you put yourself around New People and you can get great at being around. You're finding the dumbest person in the room. Stuff like that. You're you're. You're actively growing and evolving and changing versus just saying this is who I am and this is where I'm at. This is A. From my listeners standpoint, this is a lot. This is a lot to digest which I will shamelessly say folks, go get the book. This is a paradigm shifting workbook. In essence, I mean one hundred and Fifty Journal proms throughout this book. reframing trauma, it really is very clarifying your future. South I went through. This is something to work through, and there's some pieces that I want to to work through. When you talk about, you've got your second chapter. Transform your trauma. Then shift your story. You've talked about you've hit on these. Enhance your subconscious. Redesign your environment, but. Folks go get the book if you WanNa, take if you want. If you want to this, the do the work that it can do in you and for you. You're going to need to go work through that. The last chapter there though I actually I read it. And then it was kind of a conclusion or the chapter environment that you read the conclusions the conclusion. Sorry the conclusion and I read it as I'm skimming through the first time I kind of did an about. Take wait a minute. And you've hit on. It but I'm going to ask you just to. Address embrace your future. To Change your past and Up there, you've got transforming your trauma and we've talked about trauma on this. How we can look at those things and we can refrain that I know a lot of people can hear that, but they can also struggle because it feels pollyanna. Reality of the gravity of it. But I know the power, so embrace your future to change your past. Just address that for him. Yeah. It's really important in this can be a hard pill for people to swallow in the beginning that the past is not objective. The past is the meaning. The past is a perspective, the past story and often those stories are shaped in negatively emotional experiences, which we would call trauma traumas any negative emotional experience. That shapes your identity so like I'll give one example so the story I'll give very to story that you're talking about is a woman. WHO She fell asleep in her. Ultimately her son, four year old son died while in her care like he was playing. She fell asleep woke up like thirty minutes later door was open, found followed his foot travel, and he had fallen into negation canal, and he died, and ultimately she got blamed for it, and that was very terrible..

Rohn Jim Your Peer Group Fifty Journal
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

07:33 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"When was the last time you actually did something completely new that you? Flopped and failed miserably like just one example. We have eighteen month old twins. We live in Florida. People have swimming pools here, so we put our eighteen twins through extreme swimming lessons, and for the first three or four months. They hated it like you could win against their natural tendencies. or it was not immediately obvious that they get good at this because they hated it, they cried. They screamed and they didn't enjoy it. Fast forward to three or four months of consistent training, and this is where the Malcolm Gladwin concept, and by the way it's not the ten thousand hour rule because people could do something for ten thousand hours, and it's zero. Sugar, it's actually called deliberate practice. Deliberate practice means you have a clear goal in mind, and then you go through a process that develops you into that person whether it's personality, characteristics and research shows that you can actually deliberately practice and become more extroverted or organized or more creative like you can. Those are actually generally skills versus traits. I would look at them as skills. You can become better at working with people you but. But was the last time that you as an adult or as a person yourself through something that difficult, or or that extreme was the last time you did something for the first time or how often do you go out of character? Maybe it's easy to get into rhythms and routines or to fall into the role. Like when was the last time you did something completely surprising in your marriage? The blue your white smile. It's easy to get stuck in a character. That doesn't mean that your personality. It doesn't mean that you can just say that's my personality. That's a really bad excuse. Instead. You could just say I haven't had that much. Mission lately imagination lately for my career, or for my relationship with my wife I haven't spent that much time visualizing actively trying things that are new and original, instead I have been kind of autopilot going through the motions. And that would be that would be one of the major things of why people get stuck. So you talk about the proliferation of personality profiles even to the extent that facebook? Apparently you know. tried to limit them, so they did ban them. FACEBOOK banned the use of personality profiling in two thousand nineteen, because eighty seven million people gave private information off into the wrong types of people because they want to know what Disney character they were or what car that they were or like what superhero they were, so then. It's the bubble up from that. Why why are we? Your Book Got Me To thinking that I don't know if you answered it and I missed it. But why are we so enamored with this? Is it just a curiosity and a novelty, or is it some grasping of? Finding out who I am. Or is. Man. People want to know who they are. People want to in what these tests really do is they? Give them a sense of identity. When you when you have a label when you have a concept, even you as an introvert, me is whoever? It gives you a way to explain yourself into then connect with other people, and so people really want to know more about themselves so that maybe they can find that right career. Find that right spouse. You know like the assumption is that your personality is something to discover, which is why these tests are, so you know seen as so useful once you finally made that discovery of really knowing who you genuinely are, then you can live the life you were meant to live. You know you can get the career that fits your personality. You can find that right fit match. person who you're going to get married to in, there will be no kinks in the marriage. It'd be perfect you. Tourists can know each other's perfect personality, so while so yeah I think people just want understand themselves so that they can be effective at life and maybe be happy. They may think that they can't be happy unless discover themselves. It's a very passive with understanding yourself. It's non creative. And obviously from a Gospel perspective. If you think God's equator, we probably are as well. And so it's a, it's a non. It's non creative approach, but it's also just a non. It's a non proactive approach. Rather than you know Viktor Frankl just is one quick thought. Yeah, you know. He talked about how. In the concentration camps. The people who were passive where the people who died, but he also said that you needed hope and purpose towards a future in order to have needed hope in order for the president to be meaningful, and what he defined as the president or what he defined his purpose was the striving and struggling towards a worthwhile goal of freely chosen task, so I think even the same thing goes with purpose and passion is that people are looking for their purpose, and they're looking for their passion just like they would be looking for a personality type. And I'm more on the CAL Newport side and on the Viktor Frankl side that it's not something you find. It's a freely chosen task that you invest yourself into it then gives your life meaning. It's interesting I I have another. Endeavor and health and wellness, another podcast called the true true life podcast. A lot of folks here listening to. We recorded a show this morning. We're talking about some of the tests that you take to figure out what you can take different. You know different tests, and they'll come out and say okay on this is what foods you should eat, so we were playing 'em test. Yeah, yeah, so we were taking those tests. I got one and it came back, and said Okay Kevin According Dr Test. This is what you should and should not eat in one of the should. It was in. There was a food I'm I'm allergic to literally it sent. You shouldn't eat it. No, it said I should said I should do well on this food and again coming back. All of these tests, perverts there imperfect, and it's a little bit lazy as opposed to me doing trial and error and figuring out my performance on my own I, mean so here. You come with this book so here so what you just said. We all clamoring ten cents know who we are and my Gosh. How many movies have been made for them to go out and find who I am? And you're saying that we get to create who we are to make. Choices take taken that personality style, and not being limited by so that's free, so we should be excited about that, but over here. We gotta have some people feel like. Oh, my Gosh, if I'm just totally making up my identity, that's. A big nut to crack I'm going to decide who I want to be. Can it be a little overwhelming to some folks to as opposed to over here as personnel saw? This is I. Am like you said it's lazy, but it's comforting it could be comforting I think the identity general. The more, the more you understand that your you even the listen this. Even the past is flexible, so if you understand how memory works. In from a Gospel Perspective the past is very flexible, God can make very different meanings out of our former experiences but I. Think I think if you did a lot of inner work if you did a lot of journaling meditating prayer. You realize that your example choosing to do this podcast. This is a part of your identity, but this is something that is relevant to your goals for one reason or another, and the goals that you aspire towards it, the things shaping your identity so people who have beliefs in God. Things like that they have a future south beyond this life. That's part of their goals. Therefore, that's part of. Of their identity, therefore, that's part of their process, and so a big thing to think about into question is what am I. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Is this what I really value? So one of the one of the stories that breakdown in this book it's in Chapter Two on the truth of Personality I. Tell The story of Andre Norman. Now if you've got that far. If you! Keep going. Keep going. Well so Andrea grew up in in the hood of Boston. and. Black Guy discriminated against. He was in school and just group. Seriously in the hood and he had one teacher..

Viktor Frankl facebook president Malcolm Gladwin Florida Disney Andre Norman Andrea Dr Test Newport Boston.
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

02:32 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Student. You're just broke through a trauma. It's true it's. It's pieces of things that have been aware of but I. Mean you're hitting back on. Why on some of the issues that I have? Experience with personality profiles well, you start off the book with the story of your marriage of the you know white being concerned because you were put in this personality profile only to find out later it was a misdiagnosis or limited I had the same thing I had I've had multiple times. Had that happen? I've got personality style here and do something over here and somebody go well. That's contrary personality style. My only answer in my ignorance that went was apparently. We're not all thoroughbreds to whatever these things say. That, there's no such thing as a personality style or what we would actually call personality type. That's just not really personality works because it's so much more contextual like you in one situation are going to be different than you in a different situation, right? So like you can't. Say That you're the same type in every situation. That's a really. Say That's a very. View of people it is true. I I liked that as a music for all of us to think about because I for one. And maybe this is me and my wife. My wife is more. Has a tendency to be herself wherever she goes I. DON'T I'll tend to morph myself. Maybe that's too much salesperson and made a mere people, and and to try to appeal to them and appease them, but it does belie well. Then who am I in this arena? They see me as very extroverted charismatic outgoing. Directive leading over here. Gosh, she just kind of a wallflower will then who am I well? If you actually were to watch even your wife throughout a day, she would reflect many different behaviors. Yeah, she's maybe pretty consistent in upbeat. She sounds amazing. I'd love to be your. Shot is, but I would actually watch her. She's got many different sides in shakes. You know she's not just one emmy. She probably pretty consistent sounds like but. The really cool part about really all of this for people who are in the ziglar world who WanNa make big transformations in their life. For the majority of people and again from a bell curve perspective, most people in the middle. It's just true that the best way to predict someone's future behavior is by looking at their past. That reason for that and so what I'm saying? Is that people maybe a little bit pretty consistent. The reason for that is not an innate and inflexible personality. The reason for that is other things think about it as one example..

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

02:22 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"And you would then get percentile rank against the general population on where you are an introversion where you are on organization consciousness where you are on openness, new experiences you know as for me for an example. I'm like in the probably fifty fifth, probably like the sixty th percentile, but honestly it was how I scored myself. A lot of this again has to do with how you score yourself, which I talk about being self reported, which is such a big deal I me and my family just for fun recently just took a big five test. The great part about this honestly. All of those changed your life. You're actually going to be different from situation to situation. There's no cut ads like this is who you are on this who you always will be, but just as a rule, you're probably somewhere in the middle, and you're probably someone who likes to be alone, and you're probably someone who loves social groups I would say that when it comes to you when it comes to you being exhausted in in social groups. More than just that, it's your innate tendency to get exhausted around people. My guess is if you actually looked at the social situation, it may have resonated more with your wife's values or goals than yours. You know like they're the things that energize me are the things that obviously reflect what I'm trying to accomplish. So like I can do literally and I will just say I have done over two hundred podcasts since copay. And like that's a freaking lot, saying I don't consider myself a huge extrovert, but I'm energized by the things to help me accomplish my goals. You know if it's not relevant to me. It's going to not be enjoyable, so my guess is more than your personality. Various social situations just don't. Don't. They're not exciting a relevant that has nothing to do with you being an introvert or an extrovert. Totally. You're totally right You know even thinking about telling me you're on your introversion. How do you just don't want to be there I? Don't want to be there. My wife does and she is also when she's there and she is just one of those people. She is who she is she. She's not acting. She's not performing. I am I'm so conscientious of myself of not offending somebody that it's more of a performance so I'm spending that time. You're exhausting yourself trying to be someone that you're not even sure you're. You're not you're not. You're not actually just where you want to be, or you're not being who you are. You're pretending in a Lotta ways, so we're really amazing. That's an amazing self. You know admit admittance well, send me an invoice will suck up after the show should be the one sending me the invoice.

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

07:42 min | 4 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Ben I had you on the show. It's actually been over two years ago. I didn't realize it's been that long on your facebook. Willpower doesn't work and I am a fan. I was thinking about it if if I had a dollar for every time I've mentioned on a show I'm looking for credit here. At least be a good. Dry Red One. I think you actually sent me. Copies shared them with my family. A fan of that book, and now you come out with personality isn't permanent. You've got a PhD in organizational psychology had to look that up and seem to be taking some of the tenants of personal development to task. What was the catalyst behind that path for you? Like the Path Gentler this specific book well, both of them 'cause they're both Kinda. Hit Willpower and personality man, those are those are like pillars of personal development, and you're your baton atom. I don't really try to be like someone who's just like picking away things, but I do think that. You know there's a lot of inconsistencies and I try to find true principles, but also true science. You know what I mean and I try to find the most effective way to do things, and sometimes that means like shining magnifying glass on some of the areas of weakness in people's perspectives, or just where there's literally no scientific back to prove it and so. You kind of have you know I? I like doing that. It gives me something to angle my thinking office, and obviously with this book personalities in permanent. There's a lot of pervasive kind of from my perspective. Destructive ideas really can limit people's perspectives. Insides felt like I needed to put those things in the forefront well going to get into that just a second here I did look at your facebook page and I don't know if you or promoting the book or even if it's just the folks like me, who are you interviewing you, but there's a lot of hey. Ben Is taken on the two billion dollar personality profile industry, and I do I like the contrarian approach because it's. Sometimes. We do need to shake things up and as you look at that as you look at personal development I mean do these come from I mean. Do you find yourself some? Frustrated, the right word with what you said. What is the purveying tenants of personal development? and Are you looking at those? They're not working, or you're frustrated with how it's leading people astray, sometimes no, no, not always I! Mean I I actually think that a lot I I love Personal Development I. Mean Love Ziglar one of my favorite quote. That your input shapes your outlook that your outlook shift your performance so I'm a I'm a huge fan of personal development, but I feel like it's important to try to go to the next level. It's not enough just to keep repeating. What's been said I? Think you need to take thinking to the next level. So you have to dig real quick before we dive into the book on just you and your work. I mean you have been literally the top the number one writer on medium for years, and I looked recently I even typed in the top medium writer and your face was like the right there in the middle. When you look at that as we have so many people who are writers who are aspiring writers, speakers authors presenters. So I'm curious to just on that you did well, and you had a pretty fast trajectory, and so we're talking about the topics here of you know maybe not necessarily contrarian approach kind of poke in some of the norms here. That's the content, so there's obviously the content you right. There's also the way that you write it so I. Look at just that guy. She's a top medium. It's a big deal what would you? What would you attribute it to? I mean if somebody says okay, look, I wanna do what you're doing. Ben What do I? Do but attribute it to some. Things. So I started writing massively like I started. Putting my information out on the Internet back in two thousand fifteen, I'd actually decided five years before that so in two thousand ten that I wanted to be a writer I was serving a church mission, and that mission actually totally blew my mind and got me interested in psychology in the first place, but it took like five years for me to actually start learning. To conceptualize a goal into conceptualize a process in you really need a goal and process to have motivation and so for me. I I got committed the idea that I was going to become a professional writer. It's just during the first year. My PhD program, and so once I kind of clarified that future version of myself as a writer. Than I was like I is zoned in on the goal, which was a six figure book deal, and so everything I did was to approve that end goal is the thing that shapes the process. So like I started riding in educating myself from the perspective, I learned that in order to get a six figure book, contract or more, you need at least a hundred and fifty thousand subscribers so like why was like I was like okay? I need to write at the level where I can get that many email subscribers I didn't know how to do it, but that was the mindset that I had going in as far as like my process of writing I've journaled. Intensely since two thousand, probably two, thousand, eight, hundred I started that on the mission, and I've I've filled stacks at sexy journals I feel about I feel about. Every single month and journaling really just helps me to get comfortable writing in a flow without editing myself. I do have like you know pre writing routines. You know where I would like meditate gray about what I'm writing about I for me. A lot of it's about putting yourself into the right frame of mind before you right in getting the structure right so for me a lot of with what's the main idea trying to present here in water like the three to five ideas if I can have that, which is what I would consider like skeleton, build the bones. Then is all have to do is put myself into the right frame of mind which you know journaling exercise, prayer meditation, and then Just Bang I just right as as honestly and isn't intensely as I can. And I just let let let the structure guide me and don't ever ever at it myself and I just put more and more stuff out and a lot of this stuff that I write. you know a lot of stuff that's gone extremely viral I didn't expect to go viral, but one of the things that really was an initial good teaching that I got was to write stuff I liked the book by Cal Newport. which is so good, they can't ignore you so like I've just always thought if I can examine what's out there and I understand the field you know as far as the topics that are being written about on subjects of right stuff in a way that so good at can't be ignored. I can get really good at marketing it. It's GonNa. Be Successful so that when I was reading this book, I genuinely believe that it would eventually won't be ignored because that's the mindset I had going in just like. How can I make this so good at it literally can't be ignored well, obviously, very little of your writing seems to be ignored as people are reading it in droves, and you're ranked as high as you are when you. Look at it. Your Business Model we do have and again I know jumping behind the scenes on the topic here, but we have so I love it when we have so many entrepreneurs, so many business people so many people who want to so is your primary business model today from a revenue standpoint. Is it writing specifically or go ahead? What else is? Now like I mean. I'm getting multi. Figure does at this point. I get paid. You know thousands of dollars just for like page views on medium as an example, but I mean I have over three I have a email list of over three hundred fifty thousand emails, and so like I, have various programs and I've got like a one thousand dollar annual program, which has fifteen hundred people in it you know I I have. Lots of different tiers of things that occur so I i..

Ben I writer facebook Cal Newport.
"ben hardy" Discussed on Relentless Dentist

Relentless Dentist

05:17 min | 5 months ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on Relentless Dentist

"A right here in Los Angeles is your host Dr Dave and today I'm coming to you from a snowy Colorado afternoon, but I'm really thrilled to share with you. Some insights from somebody I've been a fan of required a while. I read his book. Willpower doesn't work. Last summer and it created some pretty profound shifts for me today. We're here to talk about his new book. Personality as a permanent is Dr Ben Hardy. How're you doing today? Ben Awesome? Happy with you man. Thanks for joining US I. Know I know you've got a lot going on with five kids at home and were right in the middle of a kind of a new cove economy, but I think I know. Your intention wasn't to write this book for that, but when I think about my audience dental practice. Practice owners. The timing can be better as we think about reinventing ourselves as leaders unreal inventing our practice so I really appreciate your book. I got an advanced copy in concert. Unusually inaudible person and I couldn't stop I can stop during the pages, so it really gets at the heart of things that removes a fluff, and so I appreciate that you really take it from an academic style and support it with lots of a stories in applications, and like I, said I. Don't think the timing could have been. Better so I WANNA start off by showing my gratitude because I think it will really help a lot of people in two thousand and twenty. And Man Yeah I'm a I'm an audible guy as well. Thank you for your free and I'm glad that it was. Captured enough that they could gary that. My know you spend a lot of time in academia, but I think you also are able to pull this into real world applications. The thing that I think a lot of us are stuck in particular people with like a lot of academic background. Is that were a byproduct of our training and don't often realize that we can continue to reinvent and shift ourselves. Ourselves, so in your book you talk about a lot of the myths that deal that we lay ourselves with identity or personality. Why am dot dot dot and we don't see the availability to shift? So would you mind starting off talking about a few of the myths that are really prevalent and sometimes really harmful to society in general? Yeah and I've seen knowing. Your audience is generally a higher. Educated audience generally higher socioeconomic. This particular audience has just as high of a likelihood of overly labeling yourself. Is this just anyone else? I mean you've you've got? Enough history and you've been successful enough in your history that you think you probably really know who you are in that that can create ultimately limitations so I'll I'll go ahead and share some of the core kind of myths of personality in some of the more recent science than we can go back and forth wherever direction you WanNa. Go this Ker, but. Generally speaking the common views of personality that the wired non flexible and that it's something you've got. Discover and figure out in once. You've discovered who you are, you can then. Ultimately school yourself in situations that lend themselves to your natural strings makes a lot of sense, ultimately, what that view though does it lead to overly defining yourself a certain way in becoming very rigid or adaptive non? Too many situations of life just as one example. And people I think are actually becoming increasingly non flexible, even though the environments requiring increased flexibility, they've the environment's changing so much that I think we've got to be more adaptive than ever, but I think people are becoming a little less emotionally develops. I think a lot of that has to probably do with social media could be a lot of factors, but just one example is like teenage kids. You know it's an example. I share in the book about how teenagers are kind of trying to avoid various hard scenarios like giving in class or presentations, and just demanding that they don't have to do that because it doesn't feel like it's a natural strength. Even though. In, so so that that kind of situation like we have to two twin daughters are. They're fifteen months old sixteen months old before covid nineteen. We were having them be swimming lessons. 'cause we live here in Florida in. It's crazy to watch like a a a baby essentially get dropping swimming pool. You know what I mean like have to like. Train them on how to like flip onto their back so that they don't drown in our backyard in. Obviously don't enjoy. That experience, but it's it's. It's intense learning and I just wonder how much has adults? We go through that learning. I think like what you're going through dental squad going through a lot of learning right, but like after you've gone through your practice i. think what the research shows that like. People become increasingly less good at their job. Over time because they're doing the same thing anyways just to kind of pull some of this together. What the research looks at nowadays on personality development is first off who you were five ten years ten years ago. I think if anyone listening really thinks about who they were five or ten years ago. They probably see some pretty big change I. Think it's taking the time to realize that you're not exactly the same. I used to be. You're not the exact same person. Personnel have the same preferences priorities. Hopefully you don't have the exact same perspectives, maybe even on your career. Maybe he's learned a lot about whatever your job is that you do things a little differently than you did before I know that I. Do you know I honestly looking back on this book and I love.

Dr Ben Hardy Los Angeles US Dr Dave Colorado Ker gary Florida
"ben hardy" Discussed on The NFL Show

The NFL Show

02:57 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The NFL Show

"Have a week off the one book you should read it's called willpower by ben hardy it's about how willpower does it really exist and it's so true you know you all say we're going to go on a diet then we walked by the candy aisle and we i grab something to eat and we say god dang in our willpower just didn't help us ben really does a great job of explaining really that it's not willpower situations it's about how we put ourselves and how we are routine affects our habits it's one of the best reeds i've ever had i it's in there with obstacle is the way in terms of helping a coach grow and develop so for me this last week tape fraser and you should read this book to because even though you're skinny and you don't have to worry about your diet you know willpower and other areas we'll help i agree willpower always helps it doesn't exist it really does everybody says they need more willpower when reality of it is is it's really about your it's about your ski it's about your your your lifestyle it's about your habits and it's about what you choose to do and your routine really create that and so if you want to change something you gotta change who you are it's just isn't saying i'm just not gonna eat that piece of candy because trust me as a fat guy i can't stop eating a piece of candy so you're saying the aired ocean city boardwalk and i swear i'm not going to get ice cream and next thing you know i'm in line weight and of course brothers with dominic and leo you know so you know who and i went up there swearing i wasn't going to get ice cream you deserve the nice cream so but are you saying the phrase there's a where there's a will there's a way as a farce is that what you're saying right now oh that's a will and determination willpower copy it was a little bit fanatical i got it it's all speaking of semantics terrell owens comes out and says that he will not go to his fall hall of fame induction says way to sort of protest the way it was all handled and you know he was obviously upset with the the original prognosis not to let him into the hall the first time around so te'o is not going to go there's been a lot of people that have opinions on this i think michael irvin came out and said he should go and you know there's this whole back and forth about whether he should whether you shouldn't but the end of the day it is teo decision but thrilla was not going to go to his hall of fame induction what does that mean lombardi if anything i mean it really is it's it's a little bit to me and i'm i think tyrrell's right he should have been the hall of famer there's no doubt but there's a time to when you get recognized to bury the hatchet i mean it's there's times to have you know people in your life and even though they haven't treated you the best that you should forgive and forget because you're bigger than that you've just won this award and you're going to get a gold jacket and you go stand with some of the other great players because they're letting you in there hall and i think it's really it's really not it's typical of peo and what it's done tape frazier it's given all the people who said he's a jerk a given all the people who said he didn't belong it's giving them credence when they win it's just an easy thing to do now i know he's talking about the money and the party and all that stuff we'll look you don't have to have a party you only need three or four people around you that can enjoy it and appreciate it so i mean it's great he's going back to chattanooga to go sit there and honor himself but for me personally i.

ben hardy
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:35 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Yeah i mean so a lot of its his actually having one on one time one were home you know so like our kids when we got him all they were like all a year behind in school you know like and so we've spend a lot of time in our in our evenings for example one is you know when i'm done working got to be done you know and that's a continual battle even still like trying to resist the technology addictions but when i'm homam home and it's like we have dinner together we play together and then we've given our kids you know a lot of one on one is far is like homework like we've got a piano with an app that teach them how to play piano you know we help our kids with reading programs are just reading with them or or riding in the journal and stuff so giving one on one is one thing that's really good one thing that i have done that's been really helpful for me in developing healthy attachments encephalopathies kids is doing monthly daddy dates one on one with each of these kids you know where like all literally sitting all interview him like we've not like an intense rigorous way but like just trying to created a closeness where they can trust me to talk to me and then we go out and just do some hourlong activity that they want to do warchest one on one just me in them you know and one on one time and then just regularly leaving as a family in having family days you know whether that's his shown on a saturday where we go out and go to costco and go to the zoo or you know whether it's like taking regular family vacations i could for example like when we adopted our kids i could we just immediately left in we wouldn't spent three days a disney you know like those.

costco disney three days
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

02:04 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"With faith and trust the best things will happen well hey i gotta say on this i would firstly your thank you for for doing what you do to bring this message to us i always hear great messages in our shows here and in the books a lot of times the great new flavor a new perspective on an issue but i gotta say this is just a new message in a lot of ways it is not a different way of looking at it is a very new message that i want to dig into it i've been taken notes i want my family to dig into this and i am incredibly honoured to bring this to the zoo our audit we could talk for the rest of the day on this folks go get the book obviously it's just come out and it is i think it's it's going to be something that is the significant because it is yet again it's not just the contrary and view it's taking a perceived truth and and flip but it over and we are we're hitting at the wrong route so i thank you for the time today and thank you for bringing up his message clearly man really glad to be here together well hey i hope you are pumped after hearing that that you are more hopeful a positive eur and folks eight you got baillieu here the most valuable way let us know is leaving a review and i tunes and connect with ben hearty in check out the book ad benjamin hearty dot com coming up next and show five 53 we go behind the scenes with ben and follow the ziegler wheel of life walking through bins challenges and healthy habits in the seven spokes some highlights he puts a huge party sleep for himself but also for his three newlyadopted kids and tells about what the is he seen in health wise paused was a he loves working out and listening to great messages an audio books to stay mentally strong he works put himself in a groups people were he is the dumbest in the room i even in a year where he only made twelve thousand dollars he still invested in himself ensures amazing stores spiritually he's just fervently seeking truth not religion.

ben ziegler twelve thousand dollars
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:42 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Is that something that was a just kind of over time you began to see and recognize and then focused on was it in a pit fanie where do they come from where where did the experienced come from it was definitely not an epiphanic i mean it was a developmental process so when i first decided i wanted to do a phd in psychology i actually wanted to study willpower because it's very popular topic um and you know over time i first off becoming a foster parent was one when i was so i grew up my parents got divorced on i was eleven and when that happens let my life changed you know the divorce was really tough on my dad he ah he ended up turning to different forms of pretty hard addictions that was very tough he's since turned his life around which is great but in my mom was a single mom working on trying to own a business and stuff like that so basically after my parents divorced there was not any stability in my life i barely graduated from high school and i find myself a year out of high school pretty much doing nothing as playing world of warcraft literally as playing video games twelve plus hours a day didn't really have a job in my diet consisted of mountain doing and and pizza and i think if most people looked at that that version of me they would say that this kid has no motivation you know or this enda is easy to judge a situation like that i mean if you literally if i looked at the nineteen year old version of myself even from maker vantage point you know it's easy you can sometimes lack compassion what had happened is i became a product of a situation that i wasn't proud of and i didn't really know how to get out of it.

nineteen year
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

02:04 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"And then when it comes to work lake actually give yourself time off lake give yourself rules where you're going to work in certain times and what's interesting so component i talk about in the book there's a concept called forcing functions basically which means you create these situational factors that force you to act how you wanna be there's an entrepreneur i forget his name now i wrote about them in the book but one thinks he does is a forcing function to kind of keep himself and flow is he goes any works you know in certain environments he goes to like the library or something on days that he writes and he literally leaves his power cable at home he knows it when he goes to work and he's got his computer with no power cable discs computers literally gonna die in three hours so like that keeps them inflow like he's like okay i've got like three hours wants to computer dis i'm done like give yourself the permission to be done when you're dining just go home like for so much of us we ah we just were so unconscious with our time and our addiction a technology that we realise we don't realize the increment like the five minutes that we waste here the ten minutes we waste there and i think it's it's really smart to put factors in place where you're like now once this time limits up i'm done and then i'm leaving my phone in my car and i'm gonna go relax when i'm at the gym i'm going to be at the gym when i'm not at the gym i'm not going to be the jim i think a lot of it's just being president and really thinking about your relationship to a few these things occur sorts curious and then we talk so much about being proactive verse be verse been reactive we all want to be that mature disciplined full of willpower person that can make the mature choice that can have the computer that's fully plugged in there's no limit on it but we can just be disciplined and stick to our time line as opposed to being reactionary which we tend to naturally be as humans and it feels like in this you are to a degree manufacturing reactionary being able to be reactionary yeah i mean i think that said he'd this.

president three hours five minutes ten minutes
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:44 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Legalzoom where life meet legal again it's legal zoom dot com okay so in that you just said creating the conditions the pull you forward so that when you make a decision that's know the shouldn't have to rely on willpower where it has cut where consequences come in to this it's one thing to create the conditions to pull me four to make the decision that i am not going to each sugar because i want this goal and then the night comes and you make a bad choice to sit down in front of the tv and then that hankering coms for that addiction we have of putting something sugary in our mouths and that's where we get caught up in that willpower risk tells how you're seeing that different or or designing that differently yes so in the book i talk about two types of optimal environments i com enriched environments in the book one is high stress high pressure and the other on his high rest high recovery if you've ever steady dan sullivan his work at strategic coach he talks about focus days in free days in it's really similar but in this case i'm talking about situation so you know in high high pressure in high demand situations you're fully engaged fully absorbed in what you're doing you experience with psychologists call flow in the only way to experience flow is if the situational trick if the situation is set up for flow so for flow to exist you've got to have immediate feedback you gotta have difficulty you got to have newness you've got to have consequences for behavior like the reason why extreme athletes can experience flow is because there's immediately there's a media feedback and there's high consequence for failure right like if you fall and you're in a huge halfpipe you could get really hurt.

dan sullivan
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

02:12 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"The venetian hotel and casino is located in the heart of the las vegas drip las vegas venetian features all suite accommodations soaring lobbies in atriums that open up to exclusive resort amenities including canyon rant spa over one hundred and sixty retail shops or within the grand canal shopped with my wife and i recently visited they showcase barneys of new york louis vitton tori birch and more celebrated chefs like wolfgang puck thomas keller amaral legacy arena garcia and buddy the cake loss of a stroke they create an eclectic mix of cuisine and all these restaurants from american french italian asian southern and latin fusion division offers the best and entertainment like baz human nature juke box and classic rock residencies the resort beaches a five acre pool and garden deck four theaters to casinos and the venetian is a course host of the most exciting worldwide gaining on the strip for more information visit venecia dot com the venetian of las vegas where you can come as you are venetian dot com legalzoom now that the new year is here and it's time to work on your story for two thousand eighteen legalzoom can help you make this the year he finally get serious about launching and running your own business they can also help you rest a little easier knowing that your family's future squared away with the right estate plan legalzoom has been helping people just like you and me take care of our dreams and responsibilities for more than sixteen years legalzoom it is not a law firm but they have the resources to keep us on the right pat including advice similar nationwide network of independent attorneys all at our fingertips whether you want to take your business to the next level or take control your family's future with an estate plan legalzoom plugs right into your life without building you buy the hour at legalzoom all pricing is geared up front so start riding your two thousand eighteen story at legalzoom dot com right now and for special savings be sure to enter promo code ziglar and the referral box at checkout.

atriums las vegas vegas new york wolfgang puck sixteen years five acre
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:47 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Di when my viewpoint the viewpoint of my research my experience and kind of my just life is that you know people are very fluid they can change they can adapt and that you know when you start to become more mindful of your environment you can start to create powerful environments in situations that allow you to rise up or to become new and different and there's a quote from william durant he's a famous historian and he said that the ability of the average person could be doubled if their situation demanded it but most people situation isn't demanding them to be more anything about most people's jobs like there's not high consequence for failure there is not a big amount of responsibility there's not immediate feedback there's not intense challenge like a lot of people's work is just you know if they didn't do a good job that day that not really a big impact on on the bottom line are on their cell phone so yeah there was a lot of inspiration and then just studying psychology and things like that through my phd f really began to appreciate the value of context or environment and situations and how those things in influence us well so i have not had this discussion in a while on beat a product of your environment i grew up with that perspective but then in having kids are biological kids and see how they just come out so different from the womb was amazing but now today i have a five year old who for a year and a half now we don't we haven't adopted its from a native american reservation probably never will we have custody and we expect she'll be with this forever and seen the damage that was done to her early on and to see after year and a half some significant changes me dramatic changes but also some handicaps that i don't know.

william durant five year
"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

The Ziglar Show

01:35 min | 2 years ago

"ben hardy" Discussed on The Ziglar Show

"Research this isn't just his opinion you literally don't wanna miss this show over the past three years benz work has been read by over fifty million people and he's grown his email lists from zero to over three hundred twenty thousand people without paid advertising you can connect with them and check out his book at benjamin hearty dot com real quick before i bring you ben i want to personally invite you to the elevating entrepreneurs summit this month my friend debit johnstone's put together free online event with 25 experts including myself to help entrepreneurs experience more time and money freedom i mean there's no end information on entrepreneurship available i'm aware are well aware that but this is why i agree to be part of the event instead i hearing one person's take an entrepreneurial success that fits them but may not fit you dead has compiled 25 really successful entrepreneurs representing different ages gender background products and services even nationalities a each expert is going to give their high level council on on the unconscious patterns that keep us stuck and how to stop those patterns are most successful marketing public relations and sales strategy will share our favorite tools an overall just focus on how to have a successful consistent business that doesn't overtake your life it helps support lifestyle you believe is best for you it happens march twelve two thousand eighteen it's free and all twentyfive expert entrepreneurs were required to provide a highly valuable and free gift to all the attendees as well so register now at zig showed dot com slash elevate that's zig showed dot com slash elevate.

benjamin johnstone zig three years