3 Episode results for "Becky Thomson"
Bridge of Sorrow
"True. Crime brewery contains disturbing content related to real life crimes. Medical information is opinion based on facts of a crime and should not be interpreted as medical advice or treatment. Listener discretion is advised. Girls went into the store, and when they came out they had a flat tire, and he's two guys on the parking lot offered to help them. And he didn't have a spare tire. So said, well, we'll take you home. Well, instead, they took per and terrorized them all the way out to Fremont canyon. And you know in Becky was very kind and would go with anybody. And she just didn't want big not to hurt. Her sister. Welcome to true crime burry. I'm Jill and I'm dick happy new year. Everybody just before nine pm on September. Twenty fourth nineteen Seventy-three eighteen year old Becky Thomson was leaving to buy groceries and she asked her eleven year old half sister, Amy Burridge, if she wanted to tag along the two traveled in becky's Ford station wagon to the thrift way store on twelfth and Melrose streets in casper, Wyoming when Becky and Amy came out of the store. One of the car's tires was flap unbeknownst to the sisters the two men who had slashed the tire Jerry Jenkins and Ronald Kennedy were the same guys who pulled into the parking spot next to them at that moment, and the men offered to help Becky and Amy had been set up for an abduction that night was the night when becky's worst nightmare came through on the Fremont canyon bridge the. Cold heartedness in cruelty of Jenkins and Kennedy was more than anyone in the community could comprehend and it would hunt Becky until the day that she died. So this is a truly haunting case for our New Year's episode one of the most disturbing cases for me. I guess for personal reasons it's just a really upsetting case for me. It's been hard for me to research it who's a tough case. It really was. So what kind of a beer are we going to have to drink to get us through this. We're going to have sour ill. Well, thank sticky. We're thinking of me weren't you are worse. This is a sour called the serpent. Cerise by snake river brewing company in Jackson, Wyoming. So as we've said, it's a sour. So it's hazy reddish, amber coloured beer with a big fat, long-lasting Whitehead. Nice looking beer, and it's got what you'd want sour cherry oak. Some vanilla. There's a hint. And current sounds delicious. It is it's a very tart medium dry. Nice beer Goodwin. Yeah. Let's scoot trend down to the quiet end in talk about today's episode of true crime brewery bridge of sorrow. Okay, ready? I am so September twenty fourth nineteen Seventy-three sheriff Jenkins was only year old. But when her daddy Jerry Jenkins got up in the morning. She would always climb out of her bed to find him at seven o'clock. Jerry was getting ready to go to work at the gestation who are he'd been employed for a few weeks. Jerry's headed tough time holding jobs. Yeah. You could say that. Yes. So he's he's working there allegedly and share titled into a parent's bedroom. Hugged one of her father's legs her mother diocese up. Also now dicey is only eighteen so she's barely out of childhood herself. Yeah. I mean, you could argue she's really not you certainly could she's very young. And it was the data share is baby sister who had been born only a month before was coming home from the hospital. She had been hospitalized for a brain infection, encephalitis or meningitis or something. And she has finally well enough to return home, go, right? And Jerry really just didn't give a shit. Let's be honest. No. I mean, we're not going to be showing too much sympathy for either of these two guys to the total scum that little scumbag. You're right. So well share and Jerry waited for Dorsey to pour some cereal they ate cookies and candy. Jerry's. Cray station wagon had a flat and he needed to get to work. So he borrowed d'arcy's white empower whether heating breakfast Jerry mentioned Hughes having trouble at work. He just wasn't happy. There. He told Darcy now dicey been with Jerry long enough to know what that meant. He was gonna quit that is if he hadn't already been fired Jerry would always promised to find a job in stick with it. But it never kept a job very long. He hated to be told what to do. So he's twenty nine. He's lazy irresponsible just basically drinks and smokes weed during the day he promised he'd be back by one to go pick up the baby at the hospital. Yeah. So Jerry laughed and Darcy spent the rest of the morning getting the apartment ready for the baby to come home. She fed little share some lunch, but one PM came and went and no, Jerry and no call from Jerry at two pm. She called the gas station where he worked. And of course, Jerry never came to work that day, the bus told her in fact, he hadn't been to work in several days. She learned so poor Darcy here. She is eighteen to tiny little kids, and she's with this irresponsible asshole of a guy and he's worse than she even knew. Of course, we'll come to find that out. Little shero was born in June nineteen seventy two and a month later Jerry sent a message to Darcy that he wanted to see his baby. So she was fearing that he would stop her forever. If she didn't let him see the baby. So she met with him secretly. Because of her parents found out they would be livid then two weeks later, she was back together with Jerry and two months after that they went away to a small town nearby, and they got married without her parents approval after that they moved around a lot that first year, but they finally settled into a cheap apartment and Darcy worked hard as a nurse's aide. And as a waitress. Jerry did take jabs, but they never lasted long. Instead he liked to stay home and watch soap operas on TV almost two years since they had met Darcy finally decided to leave Jerry for good this episode with the newborn coming home from the hospital is apparently the final straw for her. So she planned to move to Colorado where her parents live she'd leave that night, she decided as soon as cherry did get home with the only working car they own. She grew even more determined when a friend visited her and told her he'd seen Jerry, and is no good friend. Ron Kennedy drinking and playing pool her friend ended up driving Darcy the the hospital pick up the new baby and back at home. She laid the baby in the bed and started packing getting ready to get out of there. So after school that day, Amy Burridge walked home with her best friend, Danny Amy, hit always been more comfortable with boys than girls. She was a tomboy in quite outspoken. She was eleven years old, Amy. Rather ride a dirt bike than play with the Dow when the other neighborhood girls were playing house in dress up Amy was out in the sandlot with the neighborhood, boys. So Danny and Amy played some football together until the sun went down that day, and then they sat on the lawn. Chatting, they hated to go inside. They never wanted the day to end, especially when they could be outdoors playing Amy's older. Half sister Becky came out of the house with her car keys, a little before nine pm mom wants me to get some stuff at the store Becky told her why don't you come along? So Amy got up and turn to Danny and wanted him to go with her, but he wasn't allowed to he asked his mom, and she said, no it's nine pm on a school night. You have to come in so Amy shrugged and waved Becky smiled and the two girls drove away. Jerry Jenkins had left his apartment that morning, and he'd gone straight over to run Kennedy's place. Kennedy didn't have a job he lived with his wife at his mother's house. And he wanted to spend as much time away as possible to avoid any responsibilities in the home Jenkins had skipped work for a few days by then, but this was his payday so he wanted Kennedy to go down to the gas station where he was working tell his boss a story about Jerry being sick and up. Jerry's check so Kennedy agreed to they played pool and drink beer and Jenkins hit out our local truck stop cafe while Kennedy Whitten lied for him. So instead of calling his wife or going home Jenkins, drove Kennedy around for the next five or six hours looking for girls and stopping at bars. So around nine p m Jenkins decided he needed to go buy some cigarettes and get something to eat. The thrift way convenience store Jenkins. Still had a little bit of his paycheck left. Even though it only cash that afternoon they've been spending it on beer and stuff important things. And he's got two little babies at home worry about feeding his family tomorrow share. So he pulled in park that almost the same time as a white station wagon pulled it a tall dark haired, girl and a little girl. Pigtails got out the older grow is absolutely beautiful sound this. Of course was Amy and her big sister. Becky right at nine thirty him. He called her mom to tell mom. We had a flat, and there's too nice men are going to give us a ride home. Mom said okay. Be careful in hurry. And it's a school night. We gotta get her home. She's got to get to school in the morning. Mom says I'll wait up. Right. So her mom was Tony case, and Tony was already in her pajamas. And although she'd been worried by her daughters delay getting home that night, she felt better after she got the call from Amy because she knew they were safe. So after that call they should have been home in less than thirty minutes because the store was just a mile away. Tony hadn't needed much that night. Just a few things. There wasn't much to eat in the house because they just come home from Mexico where they'd been visiting. Tony's husband Jack who was the girl's stepfather. So Tony had been married. Three times. I think or believe so I think this was her third husband and the other two girls were from the previous two husbands and her husband Jack was working on a drilling project down in Mexico. So they'd visited him and they'd come home not much food in the house. She wants Becky to go to the store. So Becky does that now the next day was a Tuesday, which would be a school day. So of course, Amy needs to get home and it's already past her bedtime. It was getting near her bed time when she went to the store with her sister. But Tony had allowed it because Amy like to go to the store with her sister. Of course. So almost forty five minutes past and the girls still didn't come home. So Tony began worrying again, she put on some jeans, and she drove to the convenience store, and she went slowly taking the back streets thinking, she might find them walking home. Maybe the ride that they had fell through and they had to walk home. Maybe they had stopped along the way to rest because they were carrying bags now is Tony pulled into the store's parking lot. She saw becky's car was still there the rear passenger tire was flat. But the girls were gone. She opened the door which was on locked, and there were no groceries, the no girls inside the parking lot was otherwise empty and the store was closed. So this is kind of a haunting scene for a mom to come. Upon release scary. She's home by herself girls are going husbands down in Mexico. Yeah. And there's no reasonable explanation. Why the girls aren't home well now, and she had to be thinking they said two guys we're giving them a ride. Maybe these turned out not to be such nice guys. Probably starting to get a little panicky. Yeah. I would so Tony drove up and down the streets between the store in their home looking for them. And this is the nineteen seventies. So I think you didn't go right to the police back. Then you drove around you looked for people because things just weren't the way they are. Now, it was more carefree. That's for sure. So for almost two hours, she searched for her daughters, and it was a little past twelve thirty in the morning when she finally did call the police dispatcher took her information and notified the Monday night patrol cruisers to look out for the girls. No investigator was coming on duty until eight in the morning and Tony didn't know enough to complain about that and get someone sooner. They just waited. Casper didn't have many police working at night. And it's time pass. Tony's fear grew since her husband, Jack was still in Mexico. She called up a friend to come and spend the night with her and she lay in her bed that night listening for the sound of a car in the driveway or for her daughter's walking through the door just hoping that something horrible head and happen to them. Something horrible head. Yeah. Fortunately, girls have been adopted by these two slime balls, and they'd been forced to lie down in the pack seat of the car for two or three hours has jenkinson. Kennedy drove them around kind of aimlessly beating them terrorizing them girls s more than once. What was going to happen where they're going to be killed? The two men would laugh at him slap him tell him to shut up. So as you can imagine Amy Mbeki were terrified as they drove. The guys told them that they were going to meet a man who would decide what to do with them. They crossed a bridge, and they stopped pushed down on the seat the girls couldn't see much, but in the reflected glow of headlights. They thought they saw roof of some kind of a house or a building. So they thought well the man must live there. And we'll ask him to be merciful. Let us go home in. Maybe this nightmare will go away. Maybe it'll end up just being a story. We can tell when we're older the. Skinny guy with the crazy eyes was Kennedy, and he got out of the passenger side door and pulled the seat forward and reached for little Amy. He said, you I you can't go together and the girls both begged him to take them together to see this man Becky said, please let me go first because she's the older sister. And of course, she felt responsible for her little sister. But her cries, enter please were completely ignored. Meanwhile, Dorsey Jenkins, cherries wife had decided that the best thing she could do is to get away as far from Jerry as possible. Now, she decided that rather than wait for him to return with the Impala, she'd make a clean get-away. She went to visit some friends in the next apartment and asks him to help her fix the station, wagons flat. So while they change the tire. She started throwing everything into the back of the car getting ready to leave. He haven't done after dark Darcy had some second thoughts. She decided she'd hang around until he. Got home. So she could look him in the eye and tell him that she was done with him. And this way, maybe she could take the white Impala with her to which was the better of the cars that they had. So she waited for him. But the hours passed after she put the babies to bed. She went to see the neighbors who'd fixed your tire and one of the neighbors stayed up with her that night drinking coffee and just letting her vent about this. No good husband that she had before we get into the real HARA FANG stuff. 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They started up casper mountain but Jenkins headed turnaround because the car overheated, and he also remembered that the tires were bald they drove back through town and headed out toward a reservoir, which is about twenty five miles away. Kennedy said he had a fan who've been hit by a car a couple of days earlier, the car was identical. The becky's forty told him, and there is a young woman in a little girl in it, the girls he said left the scene and his friend was paralyzed from the neck down. Now, his friend was in a trailer lying low because he was in trouble. And they're going to go out and see him. They said if it wasn't becky's car, then they would take the girls home. But if it was them they would pay for it in it will be killed. So they seem like they're actually tormenting the girls doesn't it beyond all the horrors of objection rape killing. There's a lot of tormenting going on with this whole made up story about a man kind of trying to give them hope and then pulling it out from under them. It's really cruel. Yeah. Amy was afraid that she could be hurt by these two creeps or murdered or murdered. And she insisted it couldn't have been them because they just returned from Mexico. So Kennedy says well, we'll just go out there and see. Then Jerry said he was the one that slashed their tire. And then he told them he and his friend, Jerry. We're Hells Angels. And they were working for the mafia selling drugs, he told him they've already had a friend take becky's car from the grocery store light and smash it up in a ditch. If they weren't the girls who hurt their friend who said, they take them back to that smashed up car and leave them they were to keep their mouths shut. And said it had a car wreck. Kennedy also took Becky that would explain her now bleeding nose swollen. I because they had been used in the two girls punching bags while they're driving around. Yeah. Kennedy and Jenkins were drinking from a case of beer, which they were keeping on the seat between them, and they were whispering back and forth. They offered some beer to Becky who refused. It becky. Of course was desperate to protect Amy and herself she s both Kennedy and Jenkins about their lives and their families trying to get some, you know, humanizing top going on here. Jenkins told her he was thirty nine and not married. Kennedy said he was twenty nine and not married Jenkins said that he and Kennedy had been in Vietnam together and Kennedy had been shot in the head there. Now, he's more animal than man Jenkins said about Kennedy and of as a warning to the girls he said that he could tell Kennedy anything and Kennedy would do it. So it's important to point out here that Jenkins was acting like he was in charge because later on Jenkins's trying to blame everything on Kennedy is if he was just a long he was just the driver testimony from Jenkins who said he was just doing what Kennedy told him to do. Of course, they neared a little roadside store. Kennedy pulled out a knife and jumped up in his seat. He started stabbing and seed around the growth legs now later on. Investigators would remember that the punctures in the backseat outlined girl's body. Then Egypt the open blade towards becky's breasts and held a close to heart. Put your hand on the blade. You order an Amy started screaming and crying. Uncontrollably. Tried to hold her sister's hand, but Kennedy wouldn't let them hold hint. Becky, I love you so much. Emmy, cried Kennedy pushed her hands away from Becky he asked the Amy asked if she could ask them a question and ask them if they were going to murder her and Kennedy acted surprised and offended. Oh, no. Honey, he said you've been watching too many detective stories on TV Jenkins turned off onto a lower row to Pathfinder reservoir. And that would cross the Fremont canyon bridge. Kennedy and Jenkins were whispering to each other. And Becky was begging them not to whisper and to tell them what they were saying because you know, the whispering. Of course, you're going to think what the hell are they talking about? Right. Well, I'm getting worried right? Yeah. The name. He whispered the Becky Becky if we ever get through this on never be greedy again. So it seems that to Amy going to the store to buy candy for herself with somehow the cause of their ordeal. This just makes me wanna cry doesn't it? This little girl was blaming herself in Becky Toler, Amy. It's not your fucking head off. Don't worry. Then the car's headlights flashed across the steel of a bridge Jenkins drove across the bridge, slowly and parked on a narrow dirt road at the far end of the bridge. Yeah. And then he said, okay here we are. And he said that they couldn't both go in at the same time. So both the girls were begging him to let them go together and Kennedy opened his door and the dome light showed Becky swollen bruised and bloody face. So this was the first time that Amy really saw how bad becky's face looked. And she screamed Kennedy handed Becky is open beer can. And she took a sip from the can then Kennedy told Amy to get out of the car and come with him at this point, Amy stopped crying. And she said, okay. Becky, she crawled over her sister becky's lap and got out of the door that Kennedy was holding. And she told her sister that she loved her. And this was the last time that Becky would ever see Amy as she was dragged away from that car, then Kennedy came back, and he was only gone a couple of minutes. He told Becky that her little sister was talking to the man and then. He said we're supposed to go up the road a bit. And wait for a signal then we'll come back down when it's your turn to talk to him. So Jenkins started up the car and the two men were whispering again, Becky, begged them not to whisper at this point. She's hysterical. They drove about one hundred and fifty yards up the road and stopped the car, then Kennedy Andreas and climbed into the back seat. He took off becky's close. She pushed him away trying to block his hands. But he tore off her Bronner panties. And he climbed on top of her Becky told him she'd never had intercourse before, but he raped her. It was very painful, but he really seemed to enjoy her suffering the more she seemed in pain the more. He liked it Jenkins who'd been sitting in the front smoking a cigarette and watching this rape got out of the car climbed in the back, and he also raped Becky. When they were finished with that Becky asked if she could get dressed, she thanked them for not letting her little sister, see the rape Jenkins got back in the car and started it then he backed down the doctor road to the spot where they first stopped where Kennedy had taken Amy out of the car and disappeared for a few minutes. So at this point becky's thinking, she's going to see her little sister, they raped her. And then maybe heard a little sister will be able to go home. But that isn't what happened at all. The men parked beside an old outhouse Jenkins shut off the car in both men got out. Now the night was pitch black hannidy and Jenkins stood on either side of the car door as Becky got out of the car, and they each took one of her arms and walked her into the darkness at the bridge less than thirty steps from the car. Kennedy spoke he said, okay, we're going to meet Amy right here. Now, he said here is if this was their queue because on the word here, both of the men grabbed her and tried to lift her over the guardrail. It was only three feet high. But they couldn't get her over it. So they weren't very strong, but she fought them with all of her strength. They couldn't get her to let go of the rail. So Jenkins began choking her. Jenkins. Make sure she's gonna die. Make sure she'll be dead at that moment Becky had to make an impossible choice. She could be strangled and thrown from the bridge unconscious or she could take chances at surviving the fall. So she went limp pretending to be unconscious, then she let herself off in the bridge. She was in a free fall hit allege and then hit the water the fell into the river. Had crippled her in her legs didn't work. She was eighteen but she'd never broken a bone before. But she believed at this point that are lakes must have been broken. They just kind of hung from her hips. Freezing cold, and useless and throbbing with pain Jenkins and Kennedy hadn't let Becky putter panties. Brought back on just your sweater entered jeans. And when they dumped her off the bridge into the dark. She slammed into a stone ledge her body bounced off the wall and plummeted downward. She hit the water. Her lungs burned is water built her airway and she Claude in the water with their hands is the water had pulled her down. And she fought so hard her pants had slipped off of her. So when she finally made it to the surface of the river, it was still near freezing. She paddled to some granite slabs dragging her legs out of the water. She felt like screaming, but she was worried that the two men were waiting for her up on the bridge stones said cut into her skin. Is she dragged herself along she fell into some of the river brush between two boulders which protected or a little bit from the wind. Then she heard their voices from the top of the canyon, which was more than one hundred feet up. They were talking and laughing her hips were aching and she wanted to cry, but she had to keep silent because she was afraid of them hearing her and coming back for her Becky photo sleep and tried to avoid imagining that Amy might be down there. In the water. Now the next day Parlin Dorothy stressor rose at done. They intended to go fishing that day they had the day off. And it was gonna be a nice day to be out in the fresh air, although the state highway was faster to their fishing hole. They drove along the more scenic lower road to Pathfinder reservoir. So as a strategist drove over the bridge a little after eight in the morning, they saw flicker of color that looked at a place, and it was moving a Brown haired girl lay in the dirt at the end of the bridge, waving her arms. Her red sweater was torn in dirty, and she is nude from the waist down Carl Strasser break the car jumped out and ran over to the girl. She was pale dirty letty. He could see the cuts where she dragged herself across the gravel of the canyon. It was near freezing. Dorothy took an old blanket from the trunk and covered. Becky, her face was caked with dried blood, her left eye was swollen shut side of her. Head was Bruce too deep purple. White fat tissue and blood congealed around a long gash on her left, hip and her legs that were covered with blood didn't work at all. My god. What happened to you? Carl ask Becky answered I was raped and thrown off the bridge. And my little sister was too. She's down there someplace, and I think she's dead Becky covered or exposed lower body is best. She could with her hands. Carl took off his jacket and tied the arms around pick his ways to cover her as she couldn't stand the stressors lifted her into the backseat of their car turn the heater up. Full blast. Carl ran to the bridge railing and leaned out looking down. He didn't wanna waste time. Looking for a body that might not be there? But he didn't wanna leave Amy down there if she needed help too. But he saw nothing. So he decided to get help for Becky back in the car. He drove toward Sloan store, which is a roadside market about ten miles down. On the road on the way, Becky was crying and she asked for water they gave her some hot coffee to drink. She told the strassler's more of her story about the abduction the rape. Enter fall from the bridge down in that dark canyon. She had called out for Amy but got no answer. At the store. Carl ran inside to call the sheriff while Dorothy stayed with Becky in the car twenty minutes later, the sheriff in an ambulance arrived, the sheriff himself questioned Becky and confirmed that she was one of the two girls who had been reported missing by their mother the night before on their way to the hospital Becky became angry. She wanted to stay alive at least in part. So she could see these men punished in the hospital Becky told police how she and Amy had gone to the thrift way to buy some groceries a little after nine pm it was dark when they left and they parked near the store's front door. Fifteen minutes later, they got in becky's Ford station wagon and backed up a few feet, but Becky notice that her right rear tire was flat. This made her mad. She said because she just had it fixed a couple of days earlier, she pulled back into her parking spot beside two guys in a white car who asked if she needed. Help. So the driver was the fat guy with greasy light colored hair wearing a denim jacket. His passenger was a skinny wild eyed guy who called himself Kenny and that was Kennedy. Now, they rummaged through Jerry's truck to find Jack, and they jacked up becky's car a few inches and then stopped. When Becky described her attackers, the policemen were pretty sure they knew who they were Ronald Kennedy and Jerry Jenkins were small time crooks who hung out together quite a bit. And every cop in the area knew them and didn't think much of them. So they told Becky they were going to go to another station and see if they could fix her tire real quick. That'd be great Becky said and waited for them. So Becky told Amy to run over to the nearby convenience store payphone and call their mom to tell her that they had a flat, but some nice men were going to help them, and they'd be right home, the two guys left, but they were back in just five minutes, and that was before Amy had returned from the convenience store. Now, the men wanted Becky to go with them to the station, but Becky said just a minute. I've gotta go get my little sister Amy had gone into the store after the phone call to her mom and bought herself. Some candy Becky hurried her along. And they went back to her car together where Kennedy and Jenkins were. Awaiting Hannity, then came up beside Becky and stuck a knife against her ribs. And that's when she knew that her and her sister were in big trouble. And that's when they got them into the car. Now, this is just so haunting and terrifying to me because as a teenager, we went out and did things ourselves me, and my girlfriends missus tres, and there were always creepy guys around trying to get you in the car trying to talk to you. So this could have happened to me so easily. Where you're of the when it was common for people to be taking rights from strangers. We don't do that anymore. But I never did take rides from strangers. But it could have happened. I certainly could've you were smart. I was scared and you head pig sisters, and parents who told you these things. Well, I'm just saying that could easily have been me or many of the girls I grew up with in this situation, which just makes my blood just go cold to think about it. So when Tony case was finally allowed to see her daughter doctors, and nurses were still working on her wounds and police were asking her questions Becky turned to a mother in tears and said, mama. I don't think Amy's coming back. So well, Tony comforted Becky a doctor removed a contact lent that have become trapped in her swollen. I so investigators arranged for a photo lineup for Becky she easily picked out Kennedy and Jenkins later that morning. Detectives staked out Kennedy's house. This was his mother's house where Kennedy was living at the time. Then they heard on police radio that both Kennedy end Jenkins had been spotted together in Kennedy's old green pickup on the nearby highway. They are about to return to the house when investigators so Kennedy's track going down the street right past them. But Kennedy was alone. So if Jenkins had been with him he'd apparently gotten out of the truck after a few blacks Kennedy stopped at a stop light on a main street. A few pedestrians crossed in front of his truck investigator, Dave develo leapt from his car and ran to the center of the main street to Kennedy's open window. He drew his handgun is renting than it. Quickly opened the driver's side door and drag Kennedy out onto the road. With the car's engine still running develop arrested Ronald Kennedy who has taken to the police department only thirty paces away from where he was cuffed right there by. The court house and the police station roof handy, but this is some police work on this is kind of Starsky and hutch jumping out of the car. Pulling the gun in the door opens his big stuff, and this policeman would become very close to Becky over the years. He actually walked her down the aisle at her wedding, your they became friends. Yes, now Jerry Jenkins was spotted on foot headed to a neighborhood liquor store one that he'd actually robbed a few years before with Ron Kennedy two cups pulled up in a cruiser beside him and told him he was under arrest in Jenkins acted surprised. They read him his rights and cuffed him telling him that he was a suspect in a rape and murder. There was a pocket knife in Jenkins pants pocket. The same knife. Kennedy had used to abduct and terrorize Becky and Amy that night before now that afternoon Jerry Jenkins was brought into the interrogation room. In handcuffs. He kept his head down. He'd been in police custody for less than an hour kept in a holding cell at the end of the hall and throughout his interrogation. He put most of the blame on Kennedy, and he refused to answer if he had raped Becky now at age twenty nine Jenkins already knew the criminal Justice system. Very well. He ran away from home four times when he was fifteen always returned to his parents until the last time when he was turned over to juvenile probation officers. His father Edgar Jenkins was a truck driver who was often away from home. The Jenkins family was a big mess getting drunk and fighting. We're just commonplace. The father beat the mother and the kids, and they moved around frequently the kids got into drugs and crime when they were quite young now while other kids in the neighborhood, we're going to the soda shop together to the movies Jenkins fell in with the local troublemakers. Stealing cars and staying drunk most of the time. So Jenkins was arrested nine times before he even turned eighteen some of the offenses public drunkenness careless driving vagrancy and even a hit and run. He served two sentences at the Wyoming boy school a reformatories for juvenile offenders. And at eighteen he said he wanted to join the army, so they let him out he passed the test. But as soon as he was out he went AWOL before he was even inducted into the army when summer night in nineteen sixty eight Jerry Jenkins in another man got drunk, and they somehow got a nineteen year old woman into their car supposedly to get a soda at a local diner. But instead they drove her to a deserted road park beside a deep era Gatien canal and raped her. They later dumped her alive behind an apartment building in town and they threatened to kill her. She told the cops. Sweated happened. But she did tell the cops and Jenkins in this other guy were arrested. The other man's trial was first and he was convicted of first degree rape. But before Jenkins truck could start the raped woman decided she had suffered enough throughout the cross examination in the first guys trial. So she refused to testify further. And Jerry Jenkins walked. So Jenkins described how he and Kennedy had driven back to town dump becky's person some other evidence of another bridge. And then he dropped Kennedy at his house Jenkins. Arrived home around two in the morning. Now, his wife wasn't home at the time. But when she did arrive, they fought until after done the next morning groggy instill a little drunk 'cause he inhaled the ocean of beer the day. This Jenkins had another beer little hair the dog, he told police that he'd contemplated surrendering. But while driving around you so Kennedy over coffee at a truck stop on the edge of town. He confessed to feeling guilty and wanted to spill his guts to police then he said that he met Kennedy for coffee and Kennedy threatened his life. If you told anyone would they had done. So they didn't really believe that he had said that to Kennedy. He's just trying to look like he was the innocent one. It's all bullshit. Yeah. So when the case finally went to trial Becky testified against both men. She had to point them out in the courtroom as Kennedy actually taunted her by smiling while sliding his finger across his throat. They were both convicted of first degree murder rape and assault and battery they were sentenced to death, but their sentences were reduced to life in prison in nineteen seventy seven when the Wyoming supreme court overturned the state's death penalty. So every time the two would come up for parole. Becky had to relive that horrible night. Hannity had been appealing for retrial an effort that friends say was very troubling. And frightening for Becky so Becky launched a statewide petition opposing parole for the two men, and she gathered hundreds of signatures, her sisters who were still alive Kelly bridge and Blyth Johnson were among those going door to door getting the signatures with her so Becky had a fairly successful life for a while. She sold advertising for a casper radio station as she got older, and she was a friendly. High functioning woman she loved to play jokes. And she never forgot anyone's birthday. She also had a daughter who she adored. Yeah. But beneath her friendly smile, she was plagued with guilt about Amy Steph. She has survived an Amy had not. And she carried Amy's picturing her wallet for her entire life. So that night in what happened never left her? No. I mean, just put women hedges major PTSD. Yeah. You're right. And I don't know if she got is much therapy as she probably should have. I don't know. But I mean, just living through something like that. It kind of destroyed are really it really kind of destroyed who she was. She was never the same. But she really tried seems like she put it in such an effort to try and get along in life. She did. But by nineteen ninety two almost twenty years after the murder and rape. She was just plunging deeper and deeper into despair, she was divorced in debt alcoholic and filled with fear that Kennedy and Jenkins might actually succeed in an appeal to get a new trial and go free. Well, there has to be a real fear that has to be terrifying. Doesn't it? Yeah. I mean, if they're going up before the parole board and doing appeals I'd be terrified. So that July nineteen ninety two with their boyfriend. Enter two year old daughter Becky took a drive to the site of Amy's murder in this. She stood on the bridge. Her boyfriend stepped away briefly to put their child in the car. And at that moment, he heard a crash and Becky was gone. Becky's death came just days before the announcement that Kennedy and Jenkins had been denied a new trial. She was raped and murdered nineteen years ago. But she died Friday said sheriff Davila who had arrested the two men the day that Becky had crawled out of the canyon and who had been part of becky's life. On the day. She died Becky was thirty seven and she acknowledged her boyfriend's pleading driven along the winding hilly country roads to the free mind. Canyon bridge sky was clear and the sun was setting standing perilously above the narrow gorge Becky plunged to her death becky's boyfriend inner two year old daughter from her failed marriage with her the night. She died the boyfriend said Becky wouldn't tell him why she wanted to return to the bridge. She hadn't been there in all the years. This is the first time she worked up, the courage or whatever to go there. And maybe just being there was too much for her. Yeah. Or maybe she was planning to kill herself that's possible too. So the boyfriend said she just said she had to go there in the more. I told her not to go there the fast as she went when she was hitting seventy miles an hour. That's when I shut up. Yes. So Becky pulled the car to the far side of the bridge. And she her boyfriend in her two year old daughter walked beside the waist, high railing Becky pointed out where the men had raped her where they thrown her over where she'd hit the protruding rock ledge, and where she'd spent the night shivering and terrified thinking they might come back for her thinking that her little sister was dead below her. She was dangling her legs through the railing and resting her arms on top of it. And she was crying as she told her boyfriend how she had begged the men, please don't hurt or rape, Amy. She told her boyfriend she loved him and ran her hands through his hair, and he told her that the baby shouldn't see her cry. And that's when he was taking the baby back to the car. And that's when he heard the crash of becky's body hitting the water. He ran back to the bridge with the daughter in his arms, and the baby was crying and screaming, and he was crying and screaming. It was just a horrible horrible day. Police who ruled out foul play pulled becky's body out of the water just about an hour later, and this was very near where they had found Amy's body at the bottom of the shallow water there. Becky had landed near the Bank in about three feet of water. And like her sister nineteen years before she had a broken neck and massive head injuries. So none of us can never know. Exactly. What through becky's mind in the last few moments of her life, or whatever we're going on in the weeks in hours leading up to her death. But it's very haunting just to think about what she was dealing with. She spent that long night at the bottom of the canyon. And one thing that we read in the book the darkest night by Ron Francis will which is a book about this case was that there was kind of a false dawn that night that would have led her to believe it was morning that it was becoming morning, and it would be light soon. When actually she was still hours away from daylight your shoes trying to survive the night and started getting late, and she was thinking dawn was coming. But it was just Matric of the light. And Dan was still a few hours away. The other thing that's amazing to me. This woman had a record held us. So from the waist down her legs were pretty much useless. Yeah. Nevertheless, she climbed a hundred feet or so out of that canyon under the road. And I guess climb isn't the way to put it very accurately. She pulled herself out. Well, it is amazing. Because other people have said they tried to make that climb in perfectly. Good health, and it's tough. Right with four good extremities right now. Another thing about ROY friends story of win Becky killed herself. Is that the week before she bought ode to Billie Joe, which is a movie about a boy who couldn't cope with memories of being molested and jumped off Mississippi's Tallahassee bridge, and he said that Becky watched this four times that week and cried each time, and she just said that she had to see it because it reminded her and she liked to cry for friends and family would say that Becky lived in fear of her abductor's. She was just terrified that they would escape or be paroled and returned to kill her. So although she went for years without drinking. She did recently start drinking again shortly before her death and the night she died she and her boyfriend shared two pitchers of beer. So her family thinks about this. They come up with what they think happened that night and her mother thought. That alcohol gave Becky a false sense of courage to face, your fears. And then once she got there. She just couldn't cope with being there. Maybe she thought that she would go there, and she could get past all the feeling she had her PTSD by facing it head on Becky stepfather jet case likes to think that she just lost her balance that she didn't want to die. But she slipped. You're our former husband said, maybe she jumped off in an upholstery vet. But it almost seems like this was planned to me. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was. I think that she had this in mind when she went there access may also said that the Becky always thought that she should have died and not her sister in he thought that she was at the point where she just gave up the reason she went back to the bridge who's because of her sister to be with Amy. Research does show a strong link between PTSD and suicide a study in the journal, depression and anxiety found that of those who reported a past traumatic event. Twenty eight percent have attempted suicide in a study published in the journal social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology found that of those with chronic PTSD more than half had some suicidal thoughts and nearly ten percent had made attempts after the trauma. So it's very possible that Becky jumped off that bridge on purpose. She had so much to deal with she did years earlier Becky had been referred to a psychiatrist to his going to help redu with their issues. The psychiatrist told her that she was blocking out many of remembers of the crime, and he thought she would do better if she could remember everything that had happened. So he scheduled a session in a private office at the hospital. Now, she. Later told friends that the psychiatrists made her breathe gaseous truth serum. That would help unlock memories she had pushed beyond her conscious grasp. The doctor told her to let him know when she started feeling the slightest bit unusual, but because she was an addict, and because the gas is first soothing affects gay for kind of euphoria. She didn't say anything she woke up three days later couldn't remember anything, but she did have a vague memory of some sexual encounter while she is in a dream state half awake. When she told her friends most of them passed it off as a drug induced hallucination, and when she told her group therapists about it. They asked the psychiatrist to answer any question. She might have in front of her fellow addicts and other Steph Becky was humiliated and back down. It not only disgraced her, but she felt she is risking heaven the entire medical community turning against her. Well, plus you have to remember she's already been victim of sexual assault. So this is very difficult for her. But what's really interesting to me is that this psychiatrist did alternately face at least three lawsuits by former patients who said that he did have improper sex with them. They were all settled out of court between nineteen ninety and nineteen ninety two each for six figure amounts. So it sounds like there's something to that. Certainly those this psychiatrist also lost his, Idaho, medical license. And then he fled to Texas in nineteen Ninety-three about a year after Beck is death. He was extradited back to Wyoming to face fifteen sexual assault charges in criminal court. And in a plea bargain. He pleaded no contest to to second degree rape charges in exchange for only five years probation. And during that time, he couldn't treat any. Female patients. But that means he's still treating male patients. How outrageous is that? Very, and you know, how much is fine was chicken feed if d bucks so had Becky been one of his unknown victims had she been raped once by her two killers. And then again in the safety of a clinic by Dr she trusted to help her and I call them her killers because they really did killer. It took nineteen years, but they killed her. It's impossible to know if she was victim. But it certainly seems like she could have been. She had discussed a lawsuit with a lawyer. But she died before it was prepared. And she also fit the profile of that doctor's typical victims attractive troubled with long dark hair and the assault that she described sounded like some of his known victims accounts of this doctors assaults soon after his conviction on sex charges. The psychiatrist left his prison counseling job, and is no longer working as a psychiatrist, but imagine what Becky had been through. And then for psychiatrist raped her too. I just can't imagine the trauma. How could you trust? Anyone again? Really don't feel you could this. This woman has been through so much in her life, and then to have this happen. Yeah. Pursuing she trusted who's supposed to help her get better. I know right. This is destroying it's horrible. So after her death, which was in nineteen ninety two. Her ex husband took cuss. Custody of their toddler who was two and he moved out of Wyoming. Jerry Jenkins died in nineteen ninety eight leaving Ronald Kennedy is the only person alive who knew what happened that night in nineteen seventy three and he is still on death row. But he isn't he blaming it all on the one who died on Jenkins for sure. But that's how you do it. You're in a partnership until you get caught. And then you point the finger at the other person. Is there any chance he'll get out? I don't think. So now he must be quite old by now this happened in seventy three so it's forty five years ago. So if he was thirty he's in his seventy s bro. Yeah. He's not gonna get out. And even if he did there are several references in that book. We read about the townspeople would take care of things if he ever did get out on parole. He probably wouldn't last very long up at a link to the book on our show notes because it was a really good book that went over the whole case very well. Written interesting book, but haunting I have a say. Some sleep with that was a tough story. Sure was the music for true crime brewery is written and produced by tristen Capelle. If you want more TC be you can go to our website tigr dot com and join team Tigris ever for access to members only episodes along with this exclusive access to our large Bank of members only episodes you'll receive a gift from us as well as our undying admiration. You can also go to patriot and become a patron of true crime brewery for the same benefits. Now in November, we covered the murders at White House, farm and other members only episodes include the case of child killer. Diane downs are OJ Simpson series. The case of Robert Fisher, just a whole bunch of them. Now, some other ways for you to show your support for true crime brewery are to follow a on Twitter at Tigra pods on Instagram tiger, repod casts and unfazed book. On facebook. You can join our true crime brewery fan discussions group and get into some conversations about past cases and other crime, topics. If you enjoy the show, please take a minute to give us a review on I tunes or wherever you listen because that helps us a lot and it helps new listeners find us. So let's move forward with feedback. Now, remember, you can send feedback in case suggestions to us in an E mail to true crime brewery at tigr dot com or just tell us in your own voice by leaving a voicemail on the Leyva voicemail link on the front page of our website tie, grabber dot com. Unto the feedback. I will do some mail. So I have three of them. Okay. What you got the first ones from Jenny Hijau? Hi, dick. My name is Jenny. I am calling you from London as you can tell from my accent on American I live over here. Now. I just finished listening to your what happened to Heidi episode and the minute that I heard she was acting as a confidential informant. I knew I had to call you and tell you about my friend, Rachel Hoffman who in two thousand eight when she was only twenty three years old. She was murdered shot to death while acting as a confidential informant in a botched drug sting in Tallahassee Florida. So what happened to she had was facing a little bit of jail time for possession of marijuana and four ecstasy tablets, the Tallahassee police department pressured her to act as a confidential informant and said, we'll think about reducing your sentence. If you do this for us. So they set up this drug by and she was to act as the buyer. So Rachel was give. In thirteen thousand dollars in cash, and she was told to buy one thousand five hundred ecstasy pills. Two ounces of cocaine and two handguns. Rachel had no experience buying cocaine buying handguns. And if you ask me, this is a very far cry from having a few ounces of pot and for ecstasy pills from from that to cook and guns. But I digress. Is she also had never had any contact with the two men who she was supposed to be meeting to make the spy. So there were two officers assigned to supervise this drug sting, and it was laid after an investigation. It was they were deemed insufficient manpower to protect her and also for him the suspects. So while she was at the by with the police a monitoring the two sucks test specs excuse me chain the location of the by she was told not to follow them to the new location. But and this is a quote from her Wikipedia page if anyone wants to look it up a murder of Rachel Hoffman technical issue. Use prevented her from actually receiving the instructions, and quote, so the police officers lost track of her because she agreed to go to this new location. She got him the car with the suspects, and they shot her to death with the gun that she was instructed to buy her family sued the Tallahassee police department for wrongful death. And if there's anything good that came out of this terrible situation. It was that we now have something called Rachel's law which requires law enforcement agencies to provide special training for officers who recruit confidential informants again, I want to reiterate she was only twenty three years old. She never had any any experience buying handguns or cocaine. She was set up to meet with complete strangers. And it's just a tragic situation. All around the name shar this happens much more than we hear about. Thank you very much. And I love your show by. Wow. This is exactly what we were talking about with Heidi. The you've kind of. Entrap a young kid her relatively young kid in who's been picked up for a fairly minor drug offence and get them to be a confidential informant. And a lot of times is no specific training or anything that's done. But this is outrageous. Isn't it? This is just oh my God. Almost over the top almost over the tap. This is so irresponsible. Awful the poor young woman while that is just a great suggestion for you to send to us Jenny. I'm amazed by that story in definitely wanna find out more about it. And I think you're right. I think it does happen more often than we hear of oh, we hear the tip of the iceberg about the real disastrous. It happen care, but there's a bunch of near disasters or near misses share. But this one is just a complete tragedy. And so we responsible by the police. It's just disgusting. It is it's an interesting case. And I think we'll look into that. And see about doing it. He. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Thank you, Jenny. All right. Then we have Alan. Hey, Jill and dick. I'm from Ferndale Washington. I've had a lot of my neighbors down south from Bellingham Paul, and I'm an electric up here. And I have everybody on the job sites. Listen to true crime brewery, and we all thought you should do a show on Kim proper from Victoria BC. That case was something else. Thank you. All right Allen, right to the point. Yes. So we're going to get right to the point and just very quickly when night around dinnertime crews K R USC, well would send an instant message to Kim Proctor. Hey, I thought you had babysitting did you finish early? So he was gutsy sixteen year old scraggly hair living in a bungalow with his mother at Happy Valley road in the town of Langford British Columbia on this evening is on so many others. Cruise was hanging out with his best friend Cameron Moffitt. But like many kids his age crews spent as much time with friends online as he didn't person. So when he wasn't texting he was playing world of warcraft or chatting over the Microsoft Network with friends so in Cruz, I am Kim to see if she was done babysitting. No response came. But he didn't expect one could see instant message was a cover crews new Kim had never. Made it to her job. She was right there in his house with him and Cam bound beaten raped in by the next morning, stuffed into his freezer, dead, only shed. Yes. Okay. So you've got some more on that. So you wanna consider covering that case? I definitely do. All right. Well, thank Saillant could suggestion. And then our last one is from Jahic who's also let you'll you'll play it. You'll hear he's offering his assistance. All right. Let's hear it. Hello Jila, dick. This is one of your attorney friend listeners located in Columbia, South Carolina. I enjoy your podcasts in particular, the death in the detailed medical legal analysis that you provide with each case. I also have a case suggestion for you. Which is a case of Wesley our dot. He was a sex offender in serial killer in the Pacific northwest in nineteen eighties nineties. I think it would be an interesting podcast for you to undertake for several reasons first the system fail when he wasn't prosecuted or arrested after multiple inappropriate contact with job. Also, his arrest in capture wasn't is an interesting story itself. Finally, he's one of the few criminals sentenced to death that actually. Took steps to move his execution date forward. I believe he was the last person hang in the state of Washington. Once again, I really enjoy your podcasts. Can't wait for the next episode canal. He bought the good work if you have any legal questions, I may be able to assist. Thanks again. Bye. Bye. Thanks janik. I think that's awesome. That we have someone who wants to assist us with our legal questions because you know, we have them or review. Thank you sounds like a good resource. Absolutely. I love that pussies from one of my favorite cities. Yeah. Bo cox. Not going to say too much about Westley Allan Dodd other than that. He was a dad apple almost from the start beginning his crime spree or sprees around age twelve or thirteen as Jahic said he had been arrested or detained numerous times for sexual misbehavior. And never did. He get convicted of anything the system really failed on pedophilia. Sounds like yes. Then when he finally was caught and sentenced he was to be executed sentenced to death, and he actually pushed for it said do it. He was hanged on January fifth nineteen ninety three. It was the first legal hanging in the United States since nineteen sixty five the last hanging in the state of Washington and ninety only one that's kinda shocked that someone was hanged in nineteen Ninety-three. That's not that long ago. No. And when we think of hanging we think of kind of medieval, or at least old west Justice. So that alone is fascinating to me a little bit. I read about Wesley died. Very interesting. So I think that that someone we're going to look at to do a case. Those are the voicemails. We've got two emails one of which has two suggestions Israel case suggestions. So the first one's for you from sandy L K, sandy writes. Hi, Jill dick avenue listener here. And I am now just listening to the main line murder. I'm very familiar with the story growing up in Montgomery County. Stephanie's brother IRA worked at a steakhouse. My family frequented back when the murder happened and was very well liked. It was so sad to see how much I read changed after his sister was killed just not as lively just reading that sentence. I'd like to add that's one thing. We've definitely learned from doing this podcast is one person might be killed. But it destroys the lives of many people. You're a ripple of family who yet remove totally. So sandy goes on. I was wondering if you ever heard about the murders of Lisa Marie mandir, UK it or night. Eighteen month old daughter. Devon this happened in nineteen ninety five in Collegeville Pennsylvania. Which is also in Montgomery County. Just a horrible story of two lives cut way too short. And then she wished us a wonderful holiday season and says cheers. Thanks, sandy. Happy holidays to you. So Caleb Fairley is an American murderer from Gulf mills Pennsylvania and in nineteen ninety-five fairly murdered. Lisa Marie Mandara who was twenty nine and her nineteen month old daughter, Devon when the two visited the college Ville, Pennsylvania children's clothing store where he worked on September tenth nineteen ninety five fairly was working alone at your kids and mine, the Collegeville children's clothing store owned by his parents now just before closing time. Lisa Marie and her daughter entered the store when fairly realized that they were the only customers present he locked the doors to the store, he then attempted. To sexually assault. Lisa marie. And when she resisted him he became enraged in strangled her to death. He also strangled the baby and after the murder he sexually assaulted Lisa. Marie body. Then went to an electric hellfire club concert that he'd been planning to attend that night. So this is really horrific to think you could go into a store with your baby. I mean, who would even think that that's a dangerous thing to do. Right. And you're in a good part of town. Yeah. Right now. Look, you're you're going to buy clothes for your baby. Wow. Horrific certainly is only thank you for that suggestion saying they will definitely look more into that. Although that's one of those ones that's going to give me nightmares. Then we have Email from Barbara from North Carolina. And she's got a couple case suggestions, okay? And I I didn't put any real discussion on them because she described him pretty nicely. Great. Thanks, barbara. So you want to take this? Sure. So the first one is Michelle young was found beaten to death in a Raleigh, North Carolina. Home on November third two thousand six Michelle was five months pregnant at the time. She also had a two and a half year old daughter who was left on harmed in the home after his first trial ended in a hung jury. Michelle's husband Jason was convicted in two thousand. Thousand twelve and is currently serving life without parole for this crime. Barbara says that Michelle was her co worker and someone she liked and respected. So she's filed this case closely. I'm aware that opinions on Jason's guilt vary based on who you talk to. I'd love to hear you cover it in here. What you think? So she also gives you a beer suggestion from Raleigh lone rider beer moon. Reuter? This is clear I p a called happy Kiei. We just heard that on the couple of movies. Didn't we all die hard? You'd be Kiei motherfucker not happy Chi. Yes. Well, those Christmas movies, especially part one in into Christmas movie lists. But that's pretty good beer. So let's think about that not just because of the beer, especially know that North Carolina though, I bet with the most murderous we've covered have been there. I think Florida's the number one Florida Carolina's right up there. He adds that southeast. The United States. You wanna watch out for now? The next one is Nancy Cooper who we've already done a podcast on this case. So is there additional information in here? I know there are widely varying opinions on breads skill. Well, she says that Nancy was wrangled in a drainage ditch. Her husband Brad was arrested for the murder in two thousand eight and convicted in two thousand eleven but in two thousand thirteen he was granted a new trial in two thousand fourteen he agreed to plead guilty to second degree murder in exchange for a sentence of twelve to fifteen years. And there are a large group of supporters who think that Brad is innocent, reduce gross. They're good morning. We did. Yep. But another interesting thing is that she suggests another North Carolina brewery in Cary, North Carolina, which is bond brothers fear. And it's one of your favorite beers says she's recommended flavor pattern sour ale, which I have not had. No, we'll look for that. To get me. Some of that. Procure even though we've done this case the beer because there are plenty of murders in North Carolina to go around. Right. Certainly are we shouldn't say it that way. Now, there's there's a good number of murders. Why is that do we know? No. I don't know I suppose we could look at any state virtually and find a good number of murders. That would be bit episodes to be that these are just famous murders or interesting murders or unusual murders. You know? Well, I mean, we've done the staircase. Which is a fascinating case that's done. The poor little girl from Australia who was killed Sarah Baker the McDonald case, right? And then we've got the Eastbourne murders. His bird. Yeah. So there are a lot of murders. There. I'm sorry. If you live there, but be careful, please. So that wraps it up for the day. This is New Year's day. So I think that time to sign off and let people celebrate the new year coming in for those of you who are awake. We went to bed. Well, we made it to ten thirty ten forty five. But then the dogs insisted we had to go to bed they were tired. But we did have a sip of champagne and welcomed in the new year just a little bit early. So see next week guys. All right. Thank you for listening. And we'll see you next time at the quiet end. Bye. Bye. Bye.
#105: Midnight Mom Devotional (with guests Becky Thompson and Susan Pitts)
"Today's parenting great kids. Podcast is brought to you by hard rock all inclusive resorts book stay at the All Inclusive Hard Rock Hotel and casino to Canada from July second to July six and on July third. That kids balk kids will be performing live in concert followed by a meeting. Brite. Your stay will be jam. Packed daily activities were kids get to mingle with their favorite kids. Balk kids with non stop dance parties pull parties and more for more information visit? Hard ROCK HOTEL PUNTA CANA DOT COM for thirty plus years. I've seen every type of child grow up instead of giving me what I wanted. She gave me what I needed. Which was truth down that emotions winslet truth man? Do your very best and you have a lot of fun while you do it. The better you get at something the more fun you're going to have is something you MOMS. And dads are wired with everything you need to be a parent to a great kid. Welcome to parenting great kids. This is episode number one. Oh five and I'm your host Dr. Meg meeker on this podcast. My Co host Lisbeth. Keane stepped in for me at the Mike for this interview. Our guest today are author and popular. Mommy Blogger becky thompson and her mom Susan pits together. They wrote a new devotional called midnight. Mom Devotional three hundred and sixty five prayers to put your Mama Heart to rest. The interview is conducted in February this year at the NRP. Radio Conference in Nashville Tennessee. As always I'll share my points to ponder so you can start using them right away and remember. Parents don't download the episodes. Click subscribe because then you are joining my parenting revolution in every new episode will automatically show up your subscribed list remember. Not only are we on I tunes but the PG K. podcast is also available. Google play store and on Stitcher so no matter where you get your podcast. Subscribe to day so that you won't miss a single episode so parents thanks for listening. This is episode number one. Oh five stay with us. I want you to listen in on a conversation that my co host. Blues Beth Keane had the Becky Thomson and her mother Susan Pits. I know you're GonNa win joy this one. Hello everyone. I'M ELIZABETH KEEN HOSTING TODAY FOR DR MEG. Meeker on the parenting. Great Kids podcast. I'm so excited you've joined us today because we're going to hear from two moms. Who are doing. God's work in ministering to other MOMS Becky Thompson and her lovely mother. Susan pits are here with me today to talk about their new devotional midnight. Mom Ladies Thank you so much for joining us today so much for having. Us excited to be here. We're excited to have you now. We were talking a little bit before we started recording here and midnight. Mom The devotional that you guys have just come out with. It didn't come out of thin air. You guys started this somewhere else. Why don't you tell me so? This is actually the fifth book that I've released the first one that I've released with my mom and So I had a facebook page Firma as an author. You know just a place where people can connect with you now more about you but in that season of life when I was writing and the first four bucks I noticed that I was up a lot at night. I was really tired. Had A brand new baby. And I was underwriting deadlines and you know. The reasons that I was awake might be different than the average mom but he nevertheless wake and so I would get online and I would do this. Quick Little Post said hey is anyone else awake is is anybody else up in the middle of the night if so where what time is it and what are you going through. Right I found was in the middle of the night. The things that moms are going through are not usually easy things you know things like. I've got a sick kid. I have a little one with a fever and so as that check in grew the midnight mom check in and grew. I thought this really needs its own place to live and be and let's create the midnight. Mom Devotional page on facebook so I would write a little devotion something for MOMS. Who are up in the middle of the night to read as they were up in the middle of the night. Just something to think about. And then say hey. What can we pray for you about tonight? The thing is they really weren't there for what they could read. They were really there for the community and the prayer which is how the midnight mom devotional community really grew into what it is today at that time because I was writing and doing so much work I actually asked my mom. This is the secret. We're kind of sharing a little bit. Oh it's going worldwide. Now the secret is that I asked my mom to ghosts right for me on that page so my was the heart and voice behind midnight. Mom Devotional for about a year and a half contacting all the women Messaging all of the people that would right in and answering all the replies and doing a lot of the writing and the prey. Wow so being the lighthouse in the middle of the night was and so it was really neat because one night. I'll I'll let you tell this story love it. You sat down and you'd like to describe your prayer room so I'll let you describe it to hear about this so I live in a little straight and a little town in Oklahoma and I have a little house and in the front of my house. I have a a little room that I call my around. I like to describe it so people can see it. I like to say that there's beautiful artwork on the walls from famous artists and my grandchildren and there's books and Bible stacked all around my chair and books. I love and books. I plan to love some day when I can get a chance to read. I understand that stage. Spend quite a bit time in prayer. Because that's what I love to do. So one day I was in that room and I was praying and Becky had moved out to Los Angeles and the midnight mom page had just hit twenty thousand and we were so excited jumping up and down and I said Becky I was praying and I felt like the Lord. Show me this beautiful picture of a number. Just going from twenty thousand to two hundred thousand. I said sister God is getting ready. Something amazing and I don't know what it is And then almost just one week later. Some simple beautiful prayer about mamas who are cutting the crusts off their sandwiches for their babies and all the little things changing diabetes and the endless logic it just went completely viral and it we started getting just it just went so fast we started getting twenty thirty thousand new followers just within the month until now we have how many now eight hundred ninety five thousand and and the nightly prayers that we were so excited when they reached a thousand moms and night are now being shared by fifteen to thirty thousand women every single nice. You clearly hit on something that MOMS were leading. That's right and so what we try to do. Is We? Try to find the hidden places in motherhood and the women that are going through certain things that feel unspoken about or unaddressed and then we we pray for them just as simple tonight. We actually pray for the mom who feels overwhelmed by all of the things on her to do list. Who doesn't know how she's going to get through it all but she knows that you're her strength and she trusts that you are going to help her face everything that she has ahead and just simple things like that but moms were saying this is for me but it's also it's also for these other women so I think that's the neat thing about social media when done right is that it can connect us to a world and people that we couldn't connect with otherwise absolutely I mean in our everyday life and our wildest dreams we probably couldn't meet eight hundred and nine hundred five thousand people and have a positive impact on their world and so it's a real gift to have these tools like you said when done right and it's clearly touching touching. The hearts of hundreds of thousands of women speeches amazing. So how? How does your hemming? So it's a mother and daughter duo. Yes how is your multi generational? I GUESS. Knowledge and relationship. Go into this. So it's Nita's that we're in. We're in different seasons. We're not book ends. But we're definitely looking at different pictures of. I guess it's not really different pictures. We're looking at the same picture from different angles. And so I'm looking at it. You know forward going. I see what's up ahead and mom's looking at it backward going. I know what walked through. And so we're praying for the same mom. We're praying about the same things but mom's address my mom is addressing other moms. That are going through things in her season. And I'm getting to speak into mom's going through things in my season but we each carry hope for each other and we each carry hope for the generations that we get to speak into. Now I like to. I like to mention that the way we worked together. It's pretty. It's pretty relaxed. I mean I was. GonNa I was GONNA ask because I know not. Every mother daughter relationship is smooth smooth sailing so yours. Yeah tell us. We're really blessed. And that our communication and the way we relate to one another is really easy. Would you agree? We laugh a lot. We laugh and we just sometimes will do these really fun little videos for our midnight. Mom Like we did yesterday. The school pickup line and we could hardly stop laughing. What was so funny. 'cause camera was crooked and our faces and we couldn't see comments and we because because we're laughing and just enjoying each other's company while whatever's happening is happening translate somehow into the picture of prayer is that it doesn't have to always be so hard when you pray your prayer can be a PSI. It can be a song a Barath while you're standing by your kitchen sink or can even be a cheer when you're at your son's football game or baseball game and we love you're yelling. You're praising God and you're praying at the same time. Yay Keep my son safe out there. Jesus Watch over my daughter. While she's doing her gymnastics. Ooh That's a high balance beam. I mean all these little things. It's free to our life is beyond was a prayer and so we have that little relationship where we enjoy each other all the time and laugh all the time zones. Wonderful gets a call. My mom I have that we have that relationship. I have the privilege of being able to still call my mom and they know that there are a lot of women out there who don't have a mom that they can call and say. This is what I'm feeling and my okay. You can't tell you how often I tell my mom something. And then she just says you're okay and I'm like that's really all I needed to hear and so I feel like we get to be that for other MOMS. We get to say. Here's what you're going through and you're GONNA be okay but we use it in the language of prayer and so we were just talking about this on the way over here today and the idea. That prayer is its own language. That you know. I'm having a conversation with somebody but I'm actually inviting the somebody else to listen to a conversation that I'm having so let me paint. This picture is that okay. Yeah go right ahead so I pray tonight for the mom who is tired Laura. She's had the really long day and it's almost like I feel like moms will understand this when you pray for your kids and you're teaching them the idea of prayer and so I'm praying for my daughter and she's listening to what prayer sounds like. She's listening to her Mama. Say what she needs. She's listening to all of this. But at night as we pray for these MOMS as we for the one tired mom were inviting them to listen and then join in on that conversation so we start this conversation with the father. And then we say join US come alongside US and have this conversation with us and we create this amazing sense of community. That's it I mean it is every it goes so fast and so far we will see it shared up to two thousand times in under a minute sometimes and we will see people in it. Just go like that until almost midnight midnight hours and I will stay and pray over comments and needs that are expressed. Because that's my job. That's what I do nothing job. It's my passion. It's what I want to do. So we will still pray. It becomes a virtual community just like a giant place where we all gather in in in close proximity and yet spread out all over the world and I love the cover of our because it's the beautiful little houses with a beautiful little lives on in the windows at night. And when you think you're alone in that room the midnight mom devotional prayer comes up and now you realize that there are almost two million women who are exactly the same exactly as you say and how comforting to have that knowledge not feel like he said you don't feel so alone and it's so so incredible parents. I hope you're enjoying the conversation with Becky Thompson. And Susan pits. We need to take a quick break. But don't go anywhere we'll be right back with more of this conversation and Hard Rock Hotel Casino. Ponta Kenna go big with Rockstar. Mini Golf kick it with daily activities. Hit THE ARCADE CENTER LEARN SUPERSTAR MOVES AT KIDS. Bop experienced roll a strike at the bowling bar. Chill at family. Friendly Lounges or have fun by the pool. Have the ultimate summer getaway this summer and book your trip during the ultimate kids bop life thin experience at hard rock hotel and casino to Cana happening from July second to July six and on July third. The kids BOP kids will be performing live in concert followed by a meet and greet your stay will be jam packed with Nonstop Dance Parties Pool Parties and more. Your kids will also be able to participate in the kids. Bach experience kids six or twelve years. Old can check into the pop star. Lounge where they'll be guided by their personal tour manager to reach their star pooped. Essential sounds like fun. Kids will create them coolest band name learned brand new dance moves. Select a red carpet worthy wardrobe. Take the a-list photo and perform on the big stage for more information visit hard rock hotel pool to Cana dot com parents team. Counseling Dot Com connects your thirteen nineteen year old with a licensed professional counselor. Right were they spend most of their time on their smartphone. The process starts by completing a short questionnaire to help them understand your relationship with your team and their specific needs. You'll then be matched with a spill therapist in keene. Counseling DOT COM network of specialists will be available to start communicating within twenty four hours. You'll have the opportunity to review their potentials and directly communicate with the counselor to make sure. It's a good bit then once you approve. The counselor and your team will begin. Communicating directly team. Counseling is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches. So it's easy and three to change counselors if needed. It's also more affordable than traditional counseling and financial aid is available so visit team counseling dot com slash. Make and help your team take charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Parenting great kids with Dr Meg. Meeker listeners can get ten percent off your first month at teen counseling DOT COM slash. So why why do you both think I know that this came kind of kind of out of the? Why do you think that your called specifically to help mothers well? What's so neat? Is that our ministry to MOMS actually began before I was born. But we were. We were in industry together This is a great story intrigues. Will you share about how even before I was born? You're praying for other moms so in Becky was I was pregnant with Becky and My husband went out of town for a job interview and my family was back east. I was in Oklahoma so I went to the hospital and I was pretty much alone of course with the hospital staff having having baby by myself everything went well. I've felt alone in that feeling of being alone kind of stayed with me when I took her home. You know you're up at night and you're in the rocker with a cool thing. Was My back door. My back door patio door. I could see the hospital and on top of this hospital. There's a white cross and I was standing at the back door of the hospital. Rocking my sweet. Little baby and praying for those mamas who might have been just as cared and we lived in that. House for about twelve thirteen years when I did that. Nightly would stand at the door and pray for Mama's looking at that hospital and it just became something that was a part of me. Yeah I used to keep. I always kept a prayer journal. And win a becky started her. She got her first book. Contract Abbas called hope unfolding us a book for Mom's I always row everything by these journals and I said I wonder what I prayed for her when she was I was pregnant and I took a picture of that when I found out I was having her and I sent it to her and the picture set the little pictures that okay to picture of your journal explaining so you went back through your journals. Share your little say how it felt on my end because this oh Christ just tearing up so Mama. Back through her journal. After I started writing the books just wondering what she had prayed for me when I was a baby so she prayed holding me but before she even prayed holding me she prayed over me in her tummy and she wrote out those prayers in the Journal and the Journal. She found where she had written before she even knew if I was going to be a boy or a girl or if she had more than one baby she didn't know anything she just prayed for the baby in her tummy that the little one she carried would be an encouragement especially two MOMS in the midnight in in in hard places and hard seasons of huddle and who and there was no there was no way of knowing it in this particular direction all these years later and for us you know this is such an encouraging thought because we realize that first of all as Moms we know our prayers are powerful but to get to see that lived out between us all we want to do is encourage moms to pray and and the neat thing about the phrase we posted night and the prayers included in the devotional because the devotion is really just an extension of what happens online. You know it's three hundred and sixty five unique prayers for moms in different seasons and circumstances of life but the one thing that we really really want to do is make sure that women know that they're not alone we WANNA make sure that women see that That the prayers that we're praying for them the very specific prayers that were helping them give voice to themselves. Help them understand that their needs are important to you. Know we've got MOMS. And they're praying for their kids and praying for their husbands or women that are praying for all their needs but rarely do they. Stop say tonight. I'm praying for myself. We humphry for myself. And so we get to say tonight. We pray for you and the NEAT thing about the book and because there's so many different types of moms in different seasons of moths in the book mentioned. Is that you know she might read that book and go well. This prayer isn't for me. But that's why index at the back. Don't you unlikely her specific situations and types of MOMS or grandmothers? Who are looking after their grandchildren unexpectedly. And you've got something specific for each for whatever season. Whatever mom whatever that mom looks like going through which is incredible. We were excited to offer that resource. That makes sure that we included INEX- that was that was mom's idea. Actually she said I want to make sure we can do this but also you know at night. She might read the premium go. This isn't for me but there's a line where says tonight? I'm praying this four. And she can write. Jessica you know a friend my neighbor the MOM at the pickup. Like you know whoever it is she can write it on there but the cool thing is that mom that Jessica. That friend pickup. Line that whoever she is might not even realize that there are a million MOMS praying for her and she didn't even know in idea. It's an amazing idea amazing idea. I imagine it's changed both of your lives as well since this is started to. You WanNa talk about that Susan. I just think it's very interesting. I never thought you know having been a person of prayer basically my whole life which is something. I enjoy just love but I never thought when I turned in my sixties and I would write a book I never thought in my sixty s I would have been kind of reach too young women. I mean these are. These are young women alone of our audience. We have older and majority of our women are younger than thirty five of the younger Mama's sometimes and then I thought that would happen and I have people my own age. Tell me that just doing this gives them hope and I suppress I'm like I would that give you hope? And they always tell me because we're not finished because we have something to say and so to the older MOMS to the grandmoms the man is the Mimi's the Gee gees the lollies. He'll those Mama's the Nana's all of you I would say pray for your children and your grandchildren and keep going. You don't know what God has in store for them and the riches that he has for them to enrich their lives and your prayers. Last you create. You're creating a per legacy of so called legacy on this book. Create its own prayer legacy as they write the names of their friends and family and siblings and sisters and aunts as they write in the book they will have this and some day. I believe we'll be hearing stories of Mamas who will pull up the book and say on June Eighteenth. I prayed for this person and change their life. It just changed a lot and taking pictures of that team member when we prayed for that together. So it's just it's just meant that's how has changed. My life is that it's opened my heart and my my life experience in a place. I never imagined no place. That's been such an incredible blessing. I it's it's I say it's funny but it's it's amazing because I've been talking with my grandmother who's always been intercessor. That has hurt. That has been her role and she's been in an an evangelist most of her life to very passionate one. Maybe a little embarrassing for us when we were growing up but she told me the other day because she was listening she went. She went to her church and her pastor said you know I can do all of those out there. Who are you know in their later years of life and feel like they don't have anything to give if you have breath? God is not finished with you. It's right and how amazing to be in a position and to be doing something that you already loved and that got new. Who's like you already love praying for people I want to encourage you and give you more room for growth to bless women who you may never meet and how wonderful to know that the words we speak that he hears will bear fruit fruit for like you said for years to come Thais? It's an incredible incredible legacy so ladies. Thank you both so much for joining me today and for sharing about this now. Can you tell us where we can find out more information about you becky because you have many books that you've written as well and Where we can buy midnight mom devotional and where we can follow along with what you both are doing. Great well we would love to connect with all those. You're listening and want to join us in prayer on facebook at midnight. Mom Devotional on facebook. Just type it into your search bar and our community will pop up. And then if you're interested in this resource It's available online on Amazon and Barnes and noble and a lot of other retail sites but then also in store in target and Walmart and actually in Sam's club raising everywhere so great so Yeah so you can just connect with us there. Becky THOMSON DOT COM. That's where you can find my additional resources although most thank you both so much for coming thank you for sharing your heart behind this devotional. I know that it's going to continue to touch. Millions of MOMS and women's lives for many many years to come. Thank you so much for having a thank you so much. Thank you now. Onto my points to ponder one. Mom's remember you're not alone you know it's easy to feel like you're going through a situation that is specific to you and nobody understands but the truth matter is there's always somebody out there who's gone through a very similar situation. Life is hard. We work hard for our kids. Sometimes as we get older we take care of our parents and many times. It feels that our lives are overwhelming. Maybe we went through a hard time of death or an economic issue and when we go through hardship. We often feel that were alone but remember. You're never alone. There are thousands of MOMS out there who've been where you are and they've come through it community is there so don't believe it when you feel that you're alone reach out and find a community at least you can go to. Becky Thompsons facebook page and find community there to your prayers last for those of us with faith in Christ. We know that the words we speak to God heard the hopes dreams and fears of our hearts. Don't go wasted. So pray over yourself your spouse your friends and your kids and their kids God never waste any of our prayers and I believe that he has a special heart for the prayers of mothers so write down your prayers and wait to see how God will answer them over the years remember there may not be answered in the time you want but God always hears God always answers parents social you know I love hearing from you interacting with you at honestly and truly. I answer as many questions as I possibly. Can you can always connect with me on facebook twitter and instagram at MEG MEEKER MD. Or if you have a question send it to ask. Neg AT MEG meeker. Md DOT COM parents. I've been getting a lot of questions about the Cova virus pandemic so I'm going to answer a few of them. Many of you had that you wrote in about I. There's a lot of different information out there right now. About how? Covert nineteen spread. Can you tell us the truth? Yes Kovic nineteen is spread through hand to face contact. Many of us think that if someone sneezes on us or coughs on us that that's the way that Cova is primarily spread. That's not true. Yes if you really close to somebody and day cough on you they may infect you by far and away the most common way people get infected is by touching someone who's infected or touching something that's infected and then touching their face so the most important thing that you can do to prevent cove in nineteen. Wash your hands sanitize your hands went ever you touch anything and train yourself not to touch your face and my second question about the corona virus had to do with parent guilt. One reader said. I'm working from home and wanting to pay attention to my kids. I don't know how to balance that without feeling like a terrible parent. What should I do well first of all? Let's get this idea of being terrible parents out of your head now. How can I say that you're not a terrible parent? Well first of all you're here you're listening to a podcast on parenting. You're paying attention to your kids. You're trying to make it work and you know what that counts for so much. It's really hard working from home when you have kids. I work from home and I don't have kids and it's hard because you're distracted all the time. This is what I would recommend that you do a couple of things first of all schedule work time and schedule. Non Work Time. Really take control of your schedule. Otherwise you'll be doing twenty minutes here twenty minutes there and during that time. I don't know how old your kids are but I would tell the kids during the time. That MOM is working or data's working from nine to noon here. The things that you need to be doing you need to be reading. You need to be working on your math. You need to be coloring. You need to be doing some puzzles. Whatever you can go online and you can find some great math games and reading games for kids that will entertain your kids in a really education away that can give them some time to work and be quiet away from you. If you're working at home with your spouse Tag Team if you can you know one of you work in the morning? One of you work in the afternoon. The other thing is if you're working eight hour days I really would ask your employer if you can cut back your work hours. A Little Bet Maybe that's not a possibility. The other thing that you could do would be to get up early in the morning to a couple hours before the kids. Get up War Work a couple hours extra in the evening. But it's really important to give yourself a break here. This is a whole new thing for most parents who are working at home with their kids beside him. It's hard. It's really hard so the best thing you can do is schedule them doing reading time or math time or whatever and it's perfectly fine to use a laptop IPAD. Whatever while you're working and then again try to carve some ours out early in the morning before they get up go to bed early or get up when they do and work a couple hours in the evening when they're out there but you're you're doing a really hard saying so just do your best but for heaven's sakes quit feeling guilty you kind of feel like you can do half of one job well in half of another job. Well well. That's okay It really is going to be okay and also tell your kids. You know this an unusual time. It's a hard time. I really need you to work and help out our family here parents. You Know I love answering your questions. So keep sending them into me. You can email me any parenting question to ask Meg. Meg MEEKER MD DOT COM ask Meg. Meg meeker M D dot Com. I also WanNa let you know that during the coverted pandemic I'm going to be doing. Facebook lives every Friday afternoon. So keep looking at my website or facebook page MEEKER PARENTING DOT COM to check out. What time those are GONNA be playing? I WANNA thank my co host Lisbeth for filling in for me today and of course I wanNA thank our guest. Becky Thomson and Susan Pits. If you want to find out more about becky you can go to. Becky THOMSON DOT COM there. You can find out how to booker for an speaking engagement or reader latest blogs as well all of this can be founded BECKY THOMPSON DOT com. Also you can join the online community of praying mom's on facebook when you go to midnight mom devotional on facebook. Now let's recap my point to ponder one mom's remember you're not alone and to your prayers laugh so until next time parents always remember that. Great kids are raised not born. Hey this is bobby producer of magny. Cours PARENTING GREG. Kids podcast. Thanks for listening. And because of your dedication to raising great kids doctor. Mex- parenting revolution has grown to over three million downloads head on over to facebook and twitter and follow at. Meg meeker indeed and check out. What's new at MEG MEEKER DOT COM? And while you're there sign up for the newsletter to stay updated and get information about giveaways don't forget to share the podcast with other parents subscribed so you won't miss anything and leave us a review so we know how we're doing.
#67: Motherhood and Marriage (with guest Becky Thompson)
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Bear is Nate just for birthdays and only costs as much as the age. Your child is celebrating. If your child's turning five, the birthday treat bear only costs five dollars, visit build a bear dot com to become a bonus club member for free and learn more about all the fun ways to celebrate birthdays at build a bear workshop. For sturdy plus years. I've seen every type of child grow up instead of giving me what I wanted. She gave me what I needed, which was truth down that emotions win, lead truth, do your very bad, then you have a lot of fun while you do it the better you get at something, the more fun. You're gonna have something you moms and dads are wired with everything. You need to be a parent to a great kid. Welcome to parenting. Great kids. This is episode number sixty, seven, and I'm your host, Dr Meg meeker today we'll be talking about rediscovering your marriage in the midst of motherhood. Before we get into our show today, I would like to tell you about our guest Becky, Thomson author of love unending, rediscovering your marriage in the midst of motherhood. Becky Thompson is the author of scissor tail s I l k a blog that draws a global audience of. Millions speaking to the often overlooked struggle of balancing life as a mother wife and daughter of God. Becky has a captivating way of becoming the voice for women in need of hope, healing and the father's love. Her blog grew dramatically in two thousand fourteen from an average monthly audience of a thousand to one point, five million when she switched her message from fashion to hope. Becky became a work at home. Mom when her first son was born in two thousand nine shortly after becoming a sought after and highly successful wedding and portrait photographer, a self professed city girl. Becky is a recent transplant to southern California where she lives with her husband, Jared, and their three young children. As always in this podcast, I'll share my points to ponder for you to start using right away and parents remember, don't just download episodes. Click subscribe. When you do that, your joining my parenting revolution. And every new episode will automatically show up in your subscribe list. You won't regret it and we'd love for you to write us a review on I tunes and let us know what you think of the podcast. Also, not only are we on I tunes but the parenting. Great kids podcast is also available in the Google play store and on Stitcher. So no matter where you get your podcast subscribe today and don't miss a single episode friends. Do you get sick and tired appearing your kids argued of kids not listening to you, or do you feel that sometimes life at home is out of control? I totally get it as a mother of four, grandmother, a five. I can help check out my awesome new online course discipline with purge and kindness. It's on my website and let's help bring more order more fun back into your relationship with your kids. So France, I want you now. To listen in on the conversation I had with Becky Thompson, I know you're really going to enjoy it. We'll Becky Thomson. Thank you so much for joining me on my podcast. Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor to be here and to speak to your listeners. Well, you know, I love talking to busy moms, horror sort of feeling like my life is out of control. It's crazy, how am I doing this? But it's also fun and particularly moms like you who are still in the throes of having relatively young kids. And you know, and I'm one of his older moms. My kids are grown and I have grandkids now, and I hear you talk about the ages of your kids and my heart goes all. And yet I realized that you're going, oh, you know, and everybody says it does go facet. Does you were a very busy lady? You're an author, your mom, you have a podcast, you have a very busy man. Ministry, website, blog, you sort of you give moms a lot of encouragement and a lot of inspiration. But specifically what I'd like to start off talking with is a little bit about your story and why you do what you do and how you got into this crazy life of writing and blogging, and speaking to mothers. Well, thank you so much for the opportunity to share that story. I think it's always important to not just see people where they are now, but here their heart of how they got there. And and so for me, I ended up in my husband's small town in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma. And this was a surprise plot twists to my life because I wanted marrying a pastor and traveling the world that was by had envisioned. But I ended up. Helping run. The family company was an oilfield pipeline construction company. So helping my husband with his very busy job really isolated from the life that I had before we moved there and I had to very small children Where'd you grow up? I actually grew up in Oklahoma City which is not a huge metropolis, but it is a city and I had a community there, and I had people that I knew there and friends and other family. And so moving to this very small town in north west Oklahoma, which we always joke the n. w. in northwest should just be nowhere, you know, should stand for nowhere. You know, it was just it was just a shock. It was a culture shock, but it felt very isolating. And motherhood can feel very isolating anyway. And so I was out there doing thing raising these kids wondering secretly under the surface. If I had married the wrong guy, could've I had if I had ended up here on some plan b and had detoured from God's plan for my life. I had all these underlying fears that I didn't want to ever give voice to because you know what did that say about my relationship with my husband or the Lord or my reality? Well, which by the way, I think the majority of women in the first couple years, have the sense what have I done, but we don't want to say anything I did now. I- vocalized it to my husband's like, okay, thank you very much. You know, I got married in med school and I ended up in a small town living in a place. I never thought I would live, but I, I want to encourage mothers and women out there who've been married for a couple years. We're thinking, what in the world, if I'd done hang on, there was a reason you married him and there's a reason and it's so so don't just throw him away because you had these thoughts. I didn't interrupt you Becky, but I really wanted to have a lot of the women out there. It's pretty normal feeling so go on and the truth is we don't talk about it. We all wonder made these terrible life choices and no one's no one's talking about that in the Sunday school classes or in the lobbies of Churchill or even to our closest girlfriends. You know, I've made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm stuck in the truth is I think the enemy comes in with with that lie and it's just a doubt. But the truth is the Lord has positioned us exactly where we are for great. Purpose and great destiny. And we do hear his voice and he does lead us kindly. So I was stuck in a season of not feeling like I had heard the voice of the Lord, very clearly for my life and not having a lot of council to speak into the truth that I had. And so I wondered if this was what my life was going to be very unexpectedly, turning out this way, then I was just going to be the very best mom and the very best wife. And I was going to put my whole heart and soul into my family, which is an an incredible mission. And it's an incredible ministry, but it really wasn't who I was underneath the surface of at all because like, you know, we aren't just intended to be the titles that we wear. We are. I all daughters and I was finding my identity in the roles that I had rather than my position is daughter and trusting my good father. And so in the middle of all of this, I thought, you know what I need. I need something just for me. I had put so much heart and soul into caring for these kids. And caring for my husband that I felt really lost still, and I was still searching for that purpose and that identity. And so do you know what I did? And so when I told his story back, I went shopping for myself which doesn't seem deal the, but when you have two little kids, don't let anyone ever tell you that changing your clothes and going shopping won't change your life because it did it totally was the door that led to my destiny retail therapy. I'm telling you is hunter. Yeah, it's so true. But what happened is I found this online boutique that sold close and it was really easy for me to shop there because they had fast free shipping. If you didn't like it, you could just return it. And I wasn't taking a three year old and a two year old to the mall with me, that would just end up terribly. So I ordered something and then this boutique had this online contest, post a picture of yourself wearing one of our outfits on Facebook, and then the most likes on that wins, one hundred dollars worth of free close. So I contacted everybody that I knew and said, hey, here's a picture of me that I took in my bathroom when I put my conduct side the door and there was sticking their fingers underneath. Mommy, what are you doing? I'm taking a very important selfie kids, and I did not win that contest, but I got a contact from a message from the woman who had the boutique who owned the boutique. And she asked if I was a fashion blocker and a kind of laughed because my life was so opposite of a person who tries on clothes and tells the world that this is what they need to wear because they're. Trend. And when I realized she was serious, she said, well, it's too bad that you're not a fashion blocker because I would pay you to have an advertisement on your website, and I would send you a free clothes every month. And I laughed. And I said, did I say I wasn't a fashion blogger because when I would really met with is I am. I don't know how I forgot. Still high started a fashion blog. I started fashion blog that day and and I, I started telling women that if they put on these outfits, they would feel better about themselves. And the sad truth is that it wasn't working for me. The clothes weren't helping. They weren't getting to the underlying issues. And as I began to write, I sort of got to the root of my own heart issues, and I realized that it wasn't ever going to be what I put on or who I took care of or what I did in my time during the day, it was going to be my relationship with the Lord that anchored at all. And if I didn't have that. The restored hope that God had good plans and good purposes. And then he saw me even though I didn't see this coming that I would never have hope in any other area of my life. So as I began to share that with my readers, I just had this moment where I felt like the Lord said to me Becky, I'm gonna give you an audience and you're going to be responsible for them and not knowing what was coming. I jokingly replied to the Lord in my heart. I will make sure that they are the best dressed audience Jesus, I will. I will show them how to wear their clothes. But really he brought women who are in the same place of life that I was in and I was able to speak hope and encouragement. And what happened late one night is that I wrote an article and send it out to my then four hundred followers on Facebook. And the next morning I woke up and it had over seven thousand shares which quickly progressed to twenty five thousand shares, and it was an article about how I forgotten how to be a wife when I was busy being among and in that article, I just said, I wish that somebody had stopped me. And said before, anything else, really, you're a daughter, but after that you became a wife and you loved this man, and there was a reason you chose him just like you said and and cling tightly to each other because your your responsibilities are going to change. But the people underneath the responsibilities have always been there and they will always be there and it went viral because I feel like it hit just this heart issue that so many women feel that they don't know how to bring light to, which is when I become a mom, how do I find time to be a wife? You know? So let's back up if we can. You are fashion blogging, and you're wearing beautiful clothes, and you're encouraging other women to wear beautiful clothes, and you happen on an emptiness in realize, wait a minute. This is delivering what I thought it was going to deliver. There's more of me underneath here. There's more than being a professional. There's more than being a blogger there's more than. Being a mom, there's more than being a wife. So. So what did you find underneath all of that that allowed you to go? This is what satisfies when close won't. And when I'm living in this tiny little town and I feel isolated and I'm trying to fill up my life with something that is satisfying, but it's not working. What did you find worked? You know, I felt I feel like the Lord. If I could speak into this just begin gently calling my heart back to original dreams, which is that he invited me back into an intimacy with him. And that happened when I, I don't know, I guess it's kind of like when you have a small child and you watch them realize that the puzzle piece won't fit there. And there's a frustration that comes when they're trying to put that puzzle piece in that place, and it's not working. And as the parent, you can see that they need to twist it just a little bit and they'll get it. But you know, they'll be a greater satisfaction. Action. If they try and they can figure out what fits and you know, the Lord is always that answer for us. We put a million other things in in place of that relationship. But at the end of the day, the Lord is what what fills our hearts. And for me because I had this foundation of great face and because I had wonderful mentors and because I knew exactly who God was to me and who revealed himself to be in his word, I recognized myself as turning puzzle pieces that weren't designed to be in that position. And so if I, if I have to be honest and say, what worked, it was just the revelation of this is not working. Does that make sense? It was almost as if you say, yeah, you know it wasn't. It wasn't that I had this grand moment of, wow, I need Jesus instead. It was, why am I doing this? What's the real? You know? Why is this not fulfilling? And then the Lord just kindly leading like he leads all of us in saying, will you come away with me? We'll you spend more time in my word, we'll you will you. Listen to me throughout the day. I want to be president with you, and I began to slowly recognize these lies that I had. I had believed and I don't know if I wrote them down. I can't think of a place where I would have put them other than the blog itself, but just to address the areas of my heart where I believed that I married the wrong man. I believed that God had forgotten about me because I believed I had married the wrong man and ended up in a life that I hadn't chosen that I couldn't hear God clearly because if I could've heard him, then he would have led me a different way. And I believe that now I was all on my own, and now it was up to me and you know my, the lies that I believe I don't believe are far from the lies that many women believe in maybe even all the way back to eve don't don't. We all in the lies. We constantly tell ourselves every day, and I think that you know, one of the points that I'm hearing from your store, I wanted to drive home because there are many women who are feeling. Exactly how you felt when you felt you'd married the wrong man. You're living in a tiny town. You never signed up for and you're feeling kind of miserable. So you start reaching and running and you start trying to slam puzzle pieces in the wrong way. And I think we've all sort of been there done that. We're trying to fill our time with things that we feel will be fulfilling because sometimes we feel empty and our marriages empty and parenting, we're just exhausted were lonely. And I think in those moments because you're absolutely right, every woman is created to be bigger than the jobs we perform, and that includes being a mom and being a doctor and being a writer and being a wife, it is about I connecting with our, I love which is God and I will. I will tell you. We only learned that after we'd been running and slamming puzzle pieces. Because it doesn't come easily. It comes through the frustration. It comes through the because it has to be a choice. You know, God isn't one who've who who forces his way in our lives. He waits until we go, okay. Okay. Okay. You know, doing this is not delivering and doing this isn't delivering and I'll never forget one of our daughters when she was in her mid twenties, decided that God had called her to go as a teacher work in Indonesia for a year and a half. And I had believed and her dad had believed and she had believed up until that point that she was going to go to South America and we were fine with that because we'd been to South America. My husband done missions, yada, yada, but Indonesia. So I said to her, we'll God needs to talk to the mom. I and she's made about it. Mom. I will got hasn't talked to me yet. So anyway she went and I'll never forget. It was extremely hard for her, but she loved it after the first three or four months. And she again, was sort of she didn't have children. She wasn't married like, okay, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do this? This? And when she came home, I said to her in the first twenty four hours. Tell me one thing the most important thing you learned in living as far away from home as you can possibly be. And she said, mom, I learned that God is enough and that when we run and we jam puzzle pieces and we go, I've got try this. I've got to be this. I need to get this education. I need this many children. God just waits until we slow down and go, okay. But first Becky. I might Charlotte, my daughter first, Meg, you're with me, and then the beginning of a life in the end of life. I'm who you have and everything else. That's good comes out of that relationship. So I'm so grateful that you learn that when you were trying to sell clothes. So after that you started to say, okay. I'm learning these deeper things about myself, and I'm learning to sort of say, okay, God, you take the reins here because because selling clothes isn't working and oh my gosh, I just wrote this thing and I touched a nerve with a lot of women. Tell me what you begin to learn about life from that point on you started talking about marriage. Exactly. And so you know about, I would say about a month right? About a month before I wrote the bog post that went viral and we would call it as we would call it. I just felt like the Lord had asked me and I feel like this is important part of the story to share asked me. So what do you want your heart to be known for? Do you want your heart to be known for telling women, put this on, you'll feel better about yourself or do you want to tell women, you know, I am all that you need. So pointing back to your story of God being enough, I thought, Well, I, I, I know the. But do I have to get rid of all the free close? So I did. I took down all the advertisements, and I knew what my heart wanted to say, and I knew what I'd always wanted to do with my life. I had always wanted to be the one that pointed Jesus and I just I needed that six months of remembering that he was what fulfilled my heart. So he would be enough for everyone else. And so I took down all of the advertisements. I contacted all of the sponsors because I had grown quite a bit in that short time and after I was faithful to do that and really set my heart indeterminate my heart and steady that course of I will bring hope to the women who are where I am and where I have been. That's when I wrote the blog post about that. I call two wives before you were mommy about how I'd forgotten how to be a wife and how sometimes husbands forget how to be a father. And I wrote this post very simple, put it up, had immediate traction, and I began to receive messages from women literally all across the globe. I have a friend from Singapore who said. A friend of mine back home in Singapore is sharing your article that's been translated, and I think this is a universal mesh message. And so I, I received these messages from women saying, this is great. I wish someone had told us how to be a wife when we were busy being a mom. I wish someone had told us the importance of cleaning to our spouse and to the Lord. Before we jumped into this deep deep end pool of motherhood, and they said, so what's? What's the answer? Becky doc writing? I thought, I don't know. I said it was a problem. I thought I had how you is gonna find a problem and said, okay, help we need the solution here. Okay, this solution, but I didn't have one. And so it was so interesting because publishing houses apparently noticed the traction on the blog and the how many women were responding to it. And they said, well, we would love to publish the answer. So if you have the answer, we will publish the answer. I I still don't have the answer. And so this is what I love, how God will just weaves are stories toge-. Other late one night. I was very pregnant with my with my third baby, and because we lived in the middle of nowhere. I had moved in with my parents with my other two children while my husband stayed home and and worked. And that way I could be closer to the hospital when I went into labor. So that last month I was staying with my folks and my mom was putting my two older children to bed. Getting of love on ending. This is at the beginning of all by love the story. I was gonna ask you to tell the story, so go pay attention listeners. Okay. Tell the story Becky. So my mom is putting my kids to bed and I'm sitting in my living my parents living room with my dad, which is not an unfamiliar seen you not maybe not the part about putting my kids to my mom putting my bed, but I've had many conversations where I've just sat with my dad and talked in. It's just been a joy of my life to have the privilege of that sort of relationship. But I looked at my dad and he knew what was being asked of me. He knew that people were asking for this answer and almost like the Lord. I feel like he sat back waiting for me to ask him maybe and I just said, dad, what is the answer? What do I do? How do I? How do we find our way back to that? I love that we had before kids and jobs and responsibilities stolas away from each other. What do I do with Jared. My husband. What do all these women do with their husbands help? And my dad's would of smiled and I'm not sure why I didn't think to ask him before Dr Mick because he, he's always loved my mom with this fresh sort of love as if it was the beginning every day. I've never heard him speak down to her. I've never heard him. You know, it was kind of frustrating when I was in high school because he always took her side and died. You know, I'm right, but he never. He never changed sides. He was always her biggest advocate and just so kind and loving. And I feel like it's important to paint that picture of him because when I was sitting there, I knew that I could trust whatever he was about to say. I said, dad, what do I? What do I say to them? And I'll never forget. It was late at night. The only light was coming from over his shoulder. This lamp in this big wingback chair that he sat in. It looked like a movie. He looks over his shoulder to see if my mom is in earshot because he's gonna. Tell me this family secret. I'm thinking right before my dad tells me. This great advice, I'm thinking, what kind of secret have you been keeping? We're the light twelve years of my marriage. I feel like you could have at least told me this would have been, you know, sage advice on my wedding day to say, Honey, do this, but no, here we are in the middle of Oklahoma on an August night and he says, Becky, tell them to do what I do every morning. I wake up and I tell myself that it's the first day I'm married to your mom, and I have done that for nearly forty years and it took me a really long time I before I said anything to him. And at first I thought, oh, right. Dad like anybody could ever do that like, do, do you know how hard that would be like? Do do you understand how much work we? My husband and I, this point had eleven years now nearly ten years of of distance, you know, of small steps and a slight angle away. From each other, you know, and and how are we ever going to get back to treating each other like that? I don't even remember what that was like. But as I sat there working through these emotions and I realized what that would really look like, you know if each morning I woke up and I told myself that there wasn't a list of yesterday's and past hurts and offenses. And will you didn't change the diaper in the last like five times? So it's clearly your time, and I'm totally resenting the fact that you're not just doing it. You know, it would change how I talk to him how I touched him. How I interacted with him every if I could get back today one exactly everything, and you know what? Becky, I think that that's such a beautiful lesson. And if it's okay with you, I'd like to to read his full response you. You gave us the most important, but what he said to you that day was so profound. It is really and I've been married thirty eight years and my husband sounds. He's very much like your dad. I don't think my husband ever put me down in front of our kids always treated me respectfully. Always sided with me when our kids were acting up, even if I was wrong, you know, but but but we, as women can do to our spouses exactly what your dad did and if it's okay, I'll read. He said, Becky, if I wake up every wake up and tell myself that is the day I'm marriage, your mom, it changes everything. She is just my bride. She's the woman I fell for and she doesn't have to prove thing to earn my love. It's a new start every day. There isn't a yesterday full of her to reference. There isn't a need for forgiveness. There isn't anything I need overlooked. There isn't a list. I'm counting against her. There isn't a chance for space to separate us or for us to feel as if we are an old married couple, it's just new love. Every day, and I love that because that is something every single woman can listen to and say tomorrow morning, I'm going to pretend this man. This is the first staff, my marriage. He didn't just yell yesterday. He didn't just forget to come home on time. He didn't just forget my birthday today. I'm going to start fresh because that allows us as women to look at her husband's differently. But most important to begin to take those small steps of treating them well, and I'll tell you a secret about men. They are so easy to please. I mean, all you have to do is phone here and there or just do some nice things. Some very simple things like when they come into the. The room at the end of the day, get up out of your chair and walk over to them and say, hey, how are you? I'm glad to see you. Xactly. It will just take their away phrasing. Yeah. My husband loves smelt. I can't stand smelt, but our fishery, the other day had it and they hadn't had it in over a year and I was very excited and he walked in and I said, I have a surprise for you today. And I think he maybe thought of my bottom of new biker whatever I said, I made you smelt and you know, it just made him feel so good. So I think that so many times if we just turn our behavior a little bit, turn our speech Turner thoughts a little bit. It brings a freshness tour marriage that most men are so receptive to because another secret I've learned about husbands is this. If we feel bad about ourselves as wives, they feel worse about themselves as husbands. Wow. In general, a man self esteem is very low, but you'll never know it because they don't talk about it and they don't wanna show it. So when we who are who they chose to begin to treat them respectfully their self esteem jumps up two notches, and they in turn, start to show respect and love back. That's true. It's true. Parents. I hope you're enjoying my conversation with Becky Thompson. We need to take a quick break bud, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with more of my conversation with Becky Thompson, using millions of real women's measurements. Third love designs. It's bras with breast size and shape in mind for an impeccable fit and incredible feel with cups from as through h and bands up to forty eight. Third love offers double the number of sizes that most other brands offer plus their bras, feature tag, less labels, meaning no itching straps. It won't slip, lightweight, super thin memory foam cups and ultra soft smoothing fabrics. 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I'm on the road a lot, and I order son best because I like good healthy food and I don't like grocery shopping, but I love to cook and when son best becomes I can make any meal in under thirty minutes. Plus I love the spices. They ten night. I'm going to cook Sicilian salmon and tomorrow night stuffed green peppers using lean crash round Turkey. I'm telling you try sun basket. You won't regret it particularly if you're a busy mom, dad or work outside the home, go to sun basket dot com slash Meg today to learn more and get thirty five dollars off your first order that sun basket dot com slash Meg to get thirty five dollars off your order today. Sunbathe. Skit dot com. Slash Meg go there. I promise try it. You'll be hooked. So talk to us more about what what prompted you to write love on ending, which was okay. I'm going to start helping women now figure out how to be a wife after motherhood and why it's so important for women to rediscover being a wife after they become moms. You know, I think I to address why it's so important. It's because you know long after the children are gone. There's just going to be two people sitting in the house looking at each other, and we wanna make sure that they aren't just still in love, but they know each other and that they've been investing into each other's lives while while raising these children that before they were kids, there was a marriage and after there are kids in the home, it's important that they're still a marriage, and I have personal friends who have walked this road and who have not ended. This road the same way that my parents are ending this story. I don't feel like I put that the right way. I want to clarify. My parents aren't ending their story. I'm just saying that aren't in the same place in the same season of life. My parents are continuing on in marriage. You know, they're, they're strangers. These other people are strangers, and I really think it's important that if we can meet these needs in the early years and address these heart issues in the early years, then we have more of a chance of of having a relationship like my parents and like, and like yourself and your husband when thirty eight years of marriage comes around. And so that's my heart is steering here in the beginning. But when I was sitting there in my parents living room, thinking to myself, how do I do this? Because yes, you've been doing this since the beginning dad, but I've got ten years. How am I going to get back today? One, I don't even remember what that looked like. I realized that there needed to be a practical strategy with very simple steps because I still had to very small kids and a newborn on the way. So I had to have a. Sized approach for women in the thick of everything else in the middle of everything else taking on one attribute of being a great wife every day. And so I started making a list. I made a list and ended up with twenty one things that I did in the beginning that I no longer did today. And I think it's so funny because these aren't, you know, when we, it's funny because when we look at these, what's the secret? What do we do? It's all the stuff we did did before. So it's nothing new. I'm not introducing any new idea. I'm just reminding the readers of this book exactly who they once were. And so really it starts with, like you said, when my husband came home from work because we had that sort of family structure, I was at home with the kids and he went out to work, but I know that's not the case for every family. You know often the wife works and the husband's stays at home. But for the purpose of my story, that was our situation when when we came back together when he walked in the door, I made a point to stop what I was doing. You know, carry the finish up the diaper. If I had to carry the baby to the door and just hug him and welcome him back into our home without handing him responsibility. The second he walked in the door because in that season of life, I was waving my white flag before he even turned onto our street. You know, I was thinking, okay, five more minutes and I can make I can make I can make it, and then he'd walk in the door. And I'd be like here I just need a breath, but you know, he's been living his day apart from the home and while I was in it, it really got to the point Dr where I didn't see any of his exhaustion, and he didn't see any of mine and neither of our needs are really being met. And so giving him space to come in the door and breathe as he transitioned from work to home without putting all these additional responsibilities on him and saying, okay, you gotta run, run alongside me. It's a marathon. Now dinner bads bedtime. It was it was giving him a space and seeing him as as the man. I fell in love with rather than just the help coming to rescue me and and so that. That put the focus back on our relationship rather than just what he could do to help me in that time. Another simple thing that I did was just how I spoke to him, you know, in the very beginning, I think it wasn't just what I said. But the tone of my my requests, I'm giving my daughter a bath and I'm shouting at him. Get up off the couch. I need a towel. If you bring it to me, then I can get her out of the bath and I can go to bed because I'm exhausted too. You know? Whereas in the beginning I might say, you know, we didn't have children before before we got married, but I might have said, hey, when you get a minute, will you bring me that when you when you get a second? I know you're tired, if will you, will you help me with that? And so I think the tone of our hearts conveys a lot more than just the words that we say. And I think when we've been dealing with small kids, it's easy for that same tone to spill over onto our spouse. You know. And I think that too many women who are listening who go well, that's a really great idea. But here's the deal. My husband isn't around. And I have a lot of anger towards my husband. I'm very disappointed in my husband. We've grown very far apart where various strange. I'm very frustrated with him, and I think that as people listen, you know, we start to all these feelings towards husband start to bubble up to the surface because the truth of matter is parenting children together, extremely hard. You know, my husband and I have worked in a medical practice for many years and people go, how do you do that? I say, you know, working together as easy. Let me tell you it's hard is parenting kids together because we don't always agree. And the truth of matter is when it comes to parenting, like anything in life, usually one person carries the lion share the work. It's just kind of life you, you don't mean to, but it's kind of the way it goes. So you develop an animosity. And I think that when we're frustrated because is the person that were closest to our expectations are highest up, we dumb. All of that onto our spouse. Women to men, men do to women, but I think the most important thing about what you right, because you're twenty one steps that you write about in love on ending are are so practical, and I can just see people picking this book up going yet a you to understand. I really don't feel like doing that. What doesn't right atr what you feel like, you know, it's okay. I know you're mad. I know you're frustrated. I know you're right. A string, this guy up, but try a handful of these things because when you change your behavior, you change the way you think, and you change the way you think you changed the way you feel. And there's so many women at ten years of marriage, fifteen years of marriage. There's they're just ready to throw in the towel, and my encouragement would be don't hold on because even if you don't do any of these Twenty-one things, you suggestion your book Becky life changes. It beats you up something even if you wanted to stay in the frustration of your marriage or the anger, whatever, and keep it just the same in his today. It won't stay that way. It's either gonna get better. It's going to get worse a little bit of help and get a whole lot better. And I and I think you know, as one who sort of lived through on the other side because they're years, I'm thinking, I just can't do the same more. This guy's just not around. He's just all into his work and he's not interested in helping me parent and he's, you know, we do this if you would only if you would only an and rather than sort of the if you would only statements go, okay, but what can I do? What can I do as a wife? And so you say, greet lovingly, touch him, purposefully listen intently, forgive immediately serve, joyfully fight fairly honor consistently. Those are the kinds of things that you know what, even if you don't feel like give it a whirl. Because men respond because men crave intimacy, they can grave respect. You know, they want you back in general, ninety percent of husbands want a good relationship back. But the reality is in most marriages. Mike experience, I haven't read this anywhere. This is Mike experience because I've listened to thousands of people talk about their marriages. It's the woman who has to initiate healing, and and but but here's cool thing. We're really good at that and so we can do that. And so talk about women feeling empowered in their lives and powered in their marriages. Becky, our time has gone. This is just been wonderful. How can people aside from reading your fabulous book, love unending, rediscovering your marriage in the midst of motherhood, which many memo will go. That's. Possible. It isn't impossible. It really isn't impossible. How can people read about you find you and read about all the wonderful encouragement that you're giving to women into mothers. Wonderful. Yeah, I would love to connect so you can. You can find me at Becky Thompson dot com. And then on, we have a Facebook community, you can search Becky Thompson or over on Instagram as well. And so that's under my old handle when I first started that log. And so the name is actually scissor tailed silk, and that's a story for a different day. But the best place to locate me would be Becky, Thomson dot com. And that'll link to all of the other ways to connect Dr mic. Thank you so much for having me today really has been an honor to share my heart and have a chance to speak with you. Well, thank you. God bless God. Bless points. Depan der- one making time, even small amounts at first for your marriage helps you and your children. You know, often we moms folk. Us on the needs of our children. After their born in this is completely natural. You know, their needs as infants are great and time intensive and exhausting. But as our kids grow older, it's really important that we intentionally take time to focus on our spouse and our marriage. The reasons for this important first parents with healthier marriages are happier, their kids are happier, and the couple works together more to create a solid home to time with your spouse doesn't have to be long or elaborate. You know, sometimes the smallest and seemingly insignificant things that we do with our spouses draws close together a walk spending time reading, just spending time, watching television program riding a bike, going out to dinner, working in the yard together, go into a movie out for breakfast or even bike ride, make an enormous difference. In our -bility to connect with our spouses. And the most important thing is to make the time that you spend with your spouse as stress free as possible, make time where you're not talking about work, you're not talking about your conflicts and you're not talking about money. This time is to be stress free three, make two types of time available for one another, a time to work through issues and a time to have fun. You know, if we only use our time together through work through troubles an issue and this is really important. The times can be stressful and we'll stop doing them and this can actually work against us. So sit down with your calendar and make sure that you set aside times to work through issues, trouble, kid, problems, money, how you run your household chores, things that are really grading on you with your spouse and talk about things and. Work them through. Then when you're done, close them, leave them behind. And if it takes a few days to leave behind. That's okay. And then schedule small bits of time where you and your spouse can just have fun so that both of you enjoy one another's company, figure out why married in the first place. And this will allow you to see that your spouse can actually be fun. Aright parents dying to get social. I want to hear from you and interact with you. You can connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. If you have a question, send it to ask Meg at Meg meeker, MD dot com. Ask Meg at Meg meeker, MD dot com. Today we have a question from berry and Jane. Hello, Dr. Meg. I'm up at a stupid time of three AM in Australia, and I have a question, my wife and I have grandchildren. Aged seven and eleven, how do we control or manage electronic zombies? We only see them once a week as they are from split family. We can't get any sense out of them before or after school on our devices. Do we just hide them and ban them fortnight and YouTube are the culprits. Any ideas are appreciated while berry and Jen, you are right to want your grandchildren to stay off screens when you're with you. I, it's very important. They spend quality time with grandparents after all, how can you share your wisdom? If they won't pay attention? And you know what we do have a lot of wisdom is grandparents. We've been through this, you know, after raising our kids, we've been through it for at least eighteen years second. It's important because being on screens, this much is just plain bad for your grandkids. I'm a grandmother was similar issues, and this. This is what I do when grandkids come over, said clear times when they can and cannot be on, screams that your right as grandparents when kids are in your home? I would say none before school, and they get one hour after school, excluding homework. When they do their homework on computers, they need to do it in a common area because if your around they're less likely to get on social media or play games when they're at your house during a time, when screens are off, limits have a place, they put them, put them high on a show, put them in a cupboard or closet that are out of their way, make it an inconvenient place and have all the kids put them in the same place. Now, listen at first, they're going to complain and squawk so be ready to take him out and do something fun after the screens are put away plan, something ahead of time. I promise if you do this several times, the kids will start to realize that they can have fun without being on. Screen. It may take awhile because if they're like many kids, they may actually be addicted to their screens, but I encourage you, hang in there. Quality time with them is worth fighting for remember. They won't understand it. I why you're taking screens away and that's okay. I promise when they're grown, they will thank you for fighting with them parents. You know, I love answering your questions, so please keep sending them. You can Email me any parenting question to ask Meg at Meg meeker. MD dot com. Again, asked Meg at Meg meeker MD dot com. I wanna thank my guest. Becky Thompson checkout her website at Becky Thompson dot com. Once again, that's Becky Thomson dot com and check out all the wonderful books that are listed on our website. Let's recap my points to ponder one make time for your marriage because it helps you and your. Children to time with your spouse doesn't have to be long for elaborate and three. Remember make two types of time available for one another. So until next time, parents always remember that great kids are raised, not born, hey, this is Bobby producer of Meg meakers parenting, Greg kids podcast. We hope you've enjoyed listening to episode sixty seven, motherhood and marriage. Thanks to you. 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