2 Episode results for "Becky Hirsch"

The Familia | 4

The Shrink Next Door

50:55 min | 2 years ago

The Familia | 4

"Back in the spring of nineteen eighty-seven, Sam Sampson received an unusual invitation from I cars cough, he sent out a beautiful invitation to everyone Sam knew from when they were kids, he could see the invitation was in ice handwriting. Small deliberate printing with a unique flourished on the Leonard g the invitation was written in the form of a Q and a question I you never. Right. Why are you writing to me answer so you can save the date question? Can you tell me where answer? Yes question, will you tell me where answer? No, it's a surprise. Remember the party was for ex wife's thirtieth birthday, but the location of the party was left a mystery the talk of the neighborhood was where is, is it going to take us on a cruise is taking somewhere special the? Tation promised a full day swimming sunbathing continuous food drink, and champagne even free professional massages. Finally got a notification that, that he rented a boss Sam in the other guests waited in Manhattan near the United Nations building. They boarded the bus, which was nice air conditioned, comfortable seats. The bus took off rolling through the mid town tunnel and onto the Long Island expressway queens, row houses gave way to trees and then woods as the bus approached the ham. Finally, the bus rolled onto a gravel driveway in front of a large house was a huge party and everyone was most impressed. But the house walking up the front driveway, Sam notice, the mailbox in the front. It said Isaac Stevens. It was, of course Marty Markowitz his house. I played host at several parties here before, but those had been different. Those had been people mardi new this time it was ice party. So somebody asked him, why do you not have? Doctor is occur shop. And I believe he said, well in case he out of the patients coming by he didn't want. He didn't want patients to know that he had a house, something like that. But with Sam didn't know was that there were patients who already knew about the house. In fact, they were on the guest list. The shrink next door is pleased to have Brooke linen. As it's presenting sponsor, my Brooklyn and sheets of the best most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on and I feel great about seeing their praises not just because I love my sheets. But because this is a company that is built itself intentionally every step of the way making their manufacturing process, less wasteful, and saving me a ton of money. I mean most betting marked up as much as three hundred percent. Ouch. Brooke linen was the first direct to consumer bedding company, which means they work directly with manufacturers and directly with customers without the middlemen. All you're left with is a great product and great service. Get ten percent off your first order and free shipping when use promo code the shrink at Brooklyn dot com Brooklyn and is so confident in their product that all their sheets comforters and towels come with a lifetime warranty. The only way to get ten percent off your first order and free shipping is to use promo code the shrink at Brooklyn dot com. That's B. R. O. K. L. I. N E, N dot com, promo code the shrink. From wondering and Bloomberg. I'm Joe Nocera. And this is the shrink next door. This is episode four the familia. I Assyrian to host a party for his wife's birthday at mardi summer. House seem normal enough. Both mardian. I prepared for the event together. I can mmediately began to work on the guest list. It was long more than seventy guests. There were Becky Hirsch cov friends, of course, but also many people connected to some like Sam Samson who had grown up with him, but also from medical school and current colleagues, Marty was impressed. I knew how to party, I will tell you that Ainu had hire the best caterer, he knew how to have the setup. Just exactly right. And he was basically showing off. He loved to show off mardi rolled up his sleeves and got to work. He would basically, then enlist me to help them with the invitations and to help them get the whole house ready for the for the function. The party was made twenty fourth a Sunday that morning. Marty busied himself setting up a drink station near the gazebo and laying out the buffet. Just before noon, the bus for Manhattan pulled up outside Sam Sampson piled out with the other guests and looked around a lot of people from the upper side from the synagogue. I think that he was trying to impress Sam was certainly impressed. He and I could grown up together in Washington heights, which at the time was a Jewish working class neighborhood between Harlem and the Bronx. Now here was his childhood friend hosting an extravagant party in the Hamptons, we didn't get back probably very late that evening at night, and everyone was impressed. Well, I did. Well, yeah, Sam was pretty sure he was on the guest list, because I could just set him up with a new job. Just an you know, I'm about the fire somebody might company. Would you be interested? I think yeah. The company was associated fabrics Marty's company. He had. AFC catalogs associated fabrics corporation catalogs. Like on a copy table that everyone saw so people would ask him. I remember asking him. I what you have to do with the societas apposite. Yeah. That's my company. The house was full of signs of just how far I could come since. They've been kids together. It's something hang on the wall, with like three or four different business. Cards is Kirsch Cup psychiatrist something a business consultant something president associated fabrics. And maybe another one or two. So everyone believed. Yeah, I join a lot of different things not only acting psychiatry. Mickey's birthday party marked the moment when everything changed at the house in the Hamptons, six years after mardi started therapy, with the psychiatrist was now the public face of Marty's house. I mean that set the president for the family functions. I wouldn't agree to an interview. But in one of the emails, he sent us, he said that this change was at Marty's request. It helped him void confrontations with friends and acquaintances who would ask to spend time there, he says his role at Southampton was much like his role at AFC a figurehead without any real authority, but the invitations came from like on them. I called the property south Kampen any christened. The bus that brought guests from the city. The south can't mobile, one invitation, read, our deluxe restroom equipped air, conditioned, south canton. Bill will leave near the United Nations at first avenue and fortieth street at ten thirty AM sharp, it will return there at approximately ten pm there will be a different full length movie on each trip. Please reserve your seats at least two weeks in advance it became Marty's job to compile the guest list, and send out the invitations to ice friends to the celebrities, and also to people like Judith, it was like to be invited to the party was, like you getting bestowed an honor by king at the time Judas was in her late twenties. A short brunette she'd recently married, and had a young child. She didn't know I from childhood or from med school. And her name isn't really Judith. She asked us not to use her real name. She was one of patience to be invited to hikes party. That means he in the inner circle. Means he learned just this patient to pay them and saw him every week. You will part of the familia familiar Judah thinner. Family, usually rode out from the city in the south can't mobile Judith, felt special to be invited to her psychiatrist parties, but she also felt that she was walking on a tightrope that doing the wrong thing would make angry with her. Even so you were there to have a good time who is nerve wracking, because if he if he slipped up you couldn't, maybe not be invited again. So it was like scary and fund, it was like it's like, when, if you're with a relationship with someone who's in our sec- can never really let your guard down. That's what the parties for like the guests sat around the pool joking drinking soaking up the sun. There are a number of home videos, filmed at Southampton mardi still has the time. That's I- behind the camera roaming around talking to guests he approaches to women lounging deck. Cheers bikinis. Let's hear a discussion of robotics. What exercise programs respectively recommend? And what do you have to show? Both women are expatiates. The other patient laughs and says that she never has anything to say about anything. She looks at Aiken says except maybe your body say about that. We'll censor this. Later in the same video, I plays matchmaking hosts between one of the patients and another guest. Mark is one of the orthopedic surgeons here. Have you choice of three different orthopedic surgeons here? Yes, I great party coming three times a year. I told my for now on eight o'clock at night, the party ended to bus would come, and we would leave, sometimes Becky or bec in the girls are just the girls would go home on the bus with us hike. Never did. I was like a celebrity for Judith. The parties became incredibly important as long as she got an invitation. She knew she was still an inner circle, I'm guessing I went to at least thirty parties over the years. Yeah, it was a big deal. Would you look forward to them? That's my producer. Krista ripple. Yeah, my God. It was like so exciting. It was like being granted like into part of his life. You claim that the fact that clients of mine on rare occasions. Tended the Southampton gatherings makes me guilty of quote boundary violations. I strongly disagree in his emails. I refers to his patients as clients. We're having an actor read all of ice responses in this episode here. The facts one over ninety five percent of the attendees at these gatherings were not clients of any type to over ninety five percent of my clients over the past forty years have never attended three, a disproportionate percentage of the relatively small number of clients, who did attend was, in fact business clients for the clients, who did attend where often there, because of a commonality I e they were staying with friends who were invited. They had children who went to school with ours. It's cetera. But Judith had no business relationship with I, he was her therapist, and she found him captivating. Followed him we drank the koolade it felt good while it was good. Tila, didn't. A pastor in his wife scamming addicts at a millions there. Degenerate, son, locking them up so he can steal it all, and a dangerous con man and a runaway ice cream truck. Don't miss the new epix original series perpetual, grace limited from executive producers of the claim series patriot. Comes the surprising new are thriller that will become your next binge worthy drama. Starring in alias cast, including Academy Award winner, Ben Kingsley EMMY nominee, Jimmy Simpson and two time Academy Award nominee Jackie Weaver. Get ready for plot. Twists. You never see coming and characters. You can't trust. Or can you all is not what it seems when Griffin sets out to steal four million dollars from an elderly couple who run the local church that helps troubled souls, a divine plan quickly goes to hell. When it turns out that they aren't just a couple of old people from rattlesnakes and convicted killers to astronauts the Mexican cartel in high school in wrong. Discover the series peop-. We'll be talking about it all starts on Sunday, June second at ten nine central. Perpetual grace limited. Watch the season. Premiere only on epochs get the channel or get the app epics. Have we got a story for you? Yes, whenever I called one of ice patience. I never knew how they were going to react, some were upset to hear from a total stranger a stranger who wanted to ask about their therapy sessions. Others felt I could help them and said, so many simply didn't wanna talk but Judith started talking the minute. I got her on the phone. So we learned a lot of things about I. I used to I live next door to Marty Markowitz in the Hamptons and the for the first year I lived there. I was under the assumption that it was ice house, brain elevate. It's not. It's Marty's house. That's typical. A few weeks later, we met in person, and Judas picked up right where she left off. He was like he knew everything like the grade is not only did I seem smart and well-connected. He seemed nice. He told her that he could help her make peace with her traumatic childhood, he was very kind. And very helpful in promising me that he could help me access the memories and put them to rest, and I felt held not physically, but I felt held in his assurance that he would be able to help me. He seemed pretty sure of himself and I trusted him. Did he help? Yes, he did help he helped me on earth. Everything from my pass, he helped me. Bring up memories. He helped me deal with my fears of inadequacy as a parent, having had terrible parenting by my own parents, I was terrified that I could repeat those very mistakes. That's how would usually is that the become your parents, and he reassured me that I could be different. I didn't just listen to Jewish talk about her life. He also talked about his own life. So I knew history into his present life. He shared everything. Judas mother had survived. The holocaust. So at X parents and stepsister, I remember him telling me how much he didn't get along with his father. That is five. There had another family from before the holocaust that he found out about later on that is five had nightmares woke up screaming during the night hearing talk about his own experiences made him relatable. He wasn't one of those therapists, who just listened and nodded, while uncovering, my story was almost as if he's shared and uncovered his Ike helped in smaller ways to Judas had been afraid of dogs. All our life had been bitten by a dog when I was a child and. Was afraid to tell my mother because we weren't allowed to touch dogs, partly because of how survivors for chased by dogs. So you we would not allowed to touch dog because dog and I did. And I got bitten. So I had from then a fear of dogs, and I helped me get over it by taking me to a dog run, and eventually giving me inside the dog run and get him used to dogs and once Judy had gotten over her fear of dogs. I suggested she spent some more time with one dog in particular his and then, like the ward was to watch his dog when he went on vacation. But shoot it was more than happy to help. I felt honored and she began to rely on more and more. I didn't make a move without speaking to him. I wouldn't choose a doctor without consulting him. I wouldn't pursue a friendship without discussing it with him. My didn't make any decision. In my marriage or in my mother ring without checking with Ike any decision. When did that start happening? I don't know. It was pretty organic. It became that. But I don't know how, and when it happened, it just progressed into that, naturally. I couldn't move without him. There were times. I was seeing him twice a week. Believe me, we could ill afford it. But I believe that he was keeping me from having a nervous breakdown of falling apart or something terrible. He tends to loom large in your life and make himself very necessary. And you're afraid to loosen, then the do then husband know how dependent you were on. He did. I think he was the frayed to mess with it. It was like I had a husband and I and. My husband was afraid of I why because he knew how to hold. I can't on me. And I think I convinced me and then convince him there without I would fall apart into million pieces. You are. He is starting to feel better to feeling bad for a long time. And it's not perfectly don't wanna mess with that and go back to feeling really bad. And that person has believing that they're the way out. And if you leave them you'll go back to that when you're not giving that up. You know, and you will do things. In order not to mess with relationship with that person in your life, you will let other people go, and he will behave in a certain way because. He he. So addicted. To having that them appeal relationship that is not that there appear to getting more, but you don't know. By the mid nineteen ninety s Judas remembers that she was paying two hundred dollars for each of her twice a week sessions to now is the ninety s so they were ridiculously expensive. But he kind of, like, you know, you getting champagne coming up with four hundred dollars week wasn't always easy, but she kept seeing him, we could go without eating, but I can go without see him. And so we can week out Judas would be an ice Manhattan office in their sessions. One of the main topics of conversation was her relationship with her mother, I was having flashbacks and remembering very abusive childhood at the hands of my mother and I couldn't deal with my that was remembering high swarm twice a week. So I would speak to him when I saw him and call him when I had anything that I had to deal with some of it was really heavy because I was uncovering a lot of memories and. It was a scary time 'cause I was falling apart, what he slowly did, which felt powerful at the time was allow me to remember things. My mother had done, and that allow me to hate her. And he almost. Nurtured that hatred and non forgiving this, when we sent, I Judas allegations about her treatment, his response was brief. He told us that Judith had never blamed him for any of the decisions she made about her parents while she was in therapy. He suggested that I had encouraged her to blame him Dudas told me that her relationship with her mother was complicated and something, she's still dealing with was the higher -able relationship, and eventually, she crossed the line that in my therapy was deemed on crystal and just like mardi had done with his sister. Judith broke off contact with her mother had X urging I finally had the courage to tell my mother that I would never speak to her again. And I cut off. My relationship with my mother. Which was applauded by. Because it's what he wanted. It was literally letting evil go. It was the good thing to do. The two of them didn't speak birthdays, New Year's Passover. They all came and went without Judith. And her mother exchanging a single word, even at her daughter's bought mitzvah, learn speaking terms, but it was still expected that for the appearances, I would invite her. He didn't think it was would be a good idea for me to invite my parents to the but mitzvah. So I didn't her parents didn't come but I did I sit in the back of the women had me make eye contact with him. While I was speaking, he spoke at the meal, we had in our house after hearing that our parents weren't coming, many other family members decided to skip the ceremony to it caused a huge rift in my family, which resulted in me, losing aunts, uncles, cousins, my brother, wouldn't come. My sister went to come because everyone was. Like how can you not invite your parents to your daughters, but mitzvah? So everyone hated me. I became the most hated person in the world. That felt like. Was so hated. I lost my entire family at the time. She didn't care oil. I'm doing the right thing and taking care of me because that's what I was told. By I, I. Way to go. Then one day Judas heard from one of the few family members, she was still in contact with that her mother was dying from a rare disease, and it's a horrible way to die. And in my therapy, we discussed that she deserved to die that way, and that she didn't deserve forgiveness because she was dying, and I was not to let it go. Drew says, I told her to write a letter to her father listing all the abuse she had suffered at the hands of her mother. They would like a ten page letter. About every abuse that had been done to me and saying that when she died, I soon. So go someplace where they'll play video everything she had done, and she will pay for her since. So there was. A total lack of moss, our forgiveness or kindness. And no resolution for me as far as my mother dying and no peace for me because of his never solved the explain to you, why he thought it would help you he thought it would be good for me to get it off my chest. But it didn't do anything. When you were in his therapy, and you're talking about your mother, as she's dying. Did you ever say to him? I think I should go. See my mother. Now, I can't say that. I did. I I just listened. I would have never I don't think I would have dared to. I not I gave him all my power. And I, I don't feel anger towards but I think he took advantage, a, my vulnerability. It was easy. To own me in my life. At one of x parties Judas had met another patient. Sarah, also, not her real name, Sarah was also a young mom with small children, and she and Judas became close friends. We were family was the father. She was my sister, and I'll families became friends, and we were in the to this homes for holidays. Sarah was also part of the familia IQ's to invite her and her husband to the charity dinners, he loved, and the three ran the New York marathon together. But then then she had a falling out with hike, and I was very explicit that I had to choose between him and her because I. Have be have both of them in my life. And my mother was near death. And I didn't know that I could go through her death without hike. So he. Had me write a letter that he basically dictated to this friend of mine ending off. Friendship. Which was a great loss. The choice was agonizing for Judas and remember saying to myself, I can't be without him when my mother's gonna die because. I can't be without a therapist, let alone the person who ran my life, Jim member how he made it clear that you had to pick. I think you just told me. I don't think he was vague. It wasn't like that. I just remember was her him. I think. The lead of we will just was saying that I had and the friendship because. God, I'm trying to remember, it's so long ago and it was so bad. And so painful that, you know, you block things out. I just remember the only thing I remember saying to myself my mother's going to die in by lose now who will help me throw it. I think of my mother wasn't going to die. I might have chosen. Because I seen enough of ice flaws. He was not the deity that I thought he was. But I just know I wouldn't get through that. She wasn't deserving of me ending the friendship that way. It was around this time, Judas heard that her mother's condition had worsened, who has an hospice, and I got calls from hospice workers and MAB, ice. The mother is dying make your peace with her, and what was going through your head when you would when you would hear those messages that I had to be strong in my resolve. So you are wavering. Well, I felt some guilt, but I had to be strong in my not forgiving. That was like the position that I was playing. And I had a lot of anger towards her. I it's funny, you would think three therapy would reach forgiveness. Would I reached no forgiveness, lack of forgiveness was the opposite? My mother died, and I never spoke to her and. That hatred and resentment and guilt followed me for many, many, many years. Then came the funeral Judith says I guided her through that as well. He didn't think it would be healthy for me to go to my mother's funeral. He said, if I really felt I had ago I should put on headphones and listen to music and cover it with the kerchief. So I don't hear anything being said, but recommended thing to do would be not to go. So I didn't go to my mother's funeral. Didn't sit Shiva for her this last recommendation to skip the traditional week, long mourning period was extreme. Judas neighbors were all religious, too, and she knew should be noticed if she didn't sit Shiva. So she says, I helped her come up with a plan. I spent a week in the city with my husband got outta my neighborhood. What was the idea behind that? I had relatives within the neighborhoods word could give out. So my ex-husband told people that I was sitting Shiva in private in the city because if. People thought that I wasn't sitting at all. Like I'd be like a month. That you did. And I didn't. It's a big. I didn't I didn't see the big picture then. I was just feeding off that anger, and hate, and resentment. So I couldn't really see. 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One hundred day trial, as a listener of the shrink next door, you can get twenty dollars off in a way suitcase. Visit away travel dot com slash the shrink and use promo code the shrink during checkout. That's twenty dollars office suitcase when you go away travel dot com slash the shrink and use promo code the shrink at checkout. There's a framed photo that hung in mortars guesthouse for years. It was taken at one of the many summer parties is posed on the edge of a bed. He's wearing only bathing suit and a wide smile surrounding him are three young women. They're all in bathing suits to two of them are sitting on either side of him each with a hand resting on one of his thighs. The third woman is behind her arms or grape down over his bare chest. Her hands arresting low on his body and her fingers appear to be grazing, his waistband, all three women are patients, vikes and the woman in the middle. The one with her arms around. She held a unique place in the familiar. Multiple people told me she was favorite. I is a brilliant. Man, I'll referring to this patient, as Emily a that's not her real name. That's also not her real voice were having an actor read the responses. She gave me an interview I like that. He had a practical approach to therapy, and that he was smart about people really helped me learn how to read and understand the people I was dealing with in my life. When I spoke to her Emily asked me, not to reveal identifying details, but I can't tell you that she's a wealthy businesswoman was an extravagant lifestyle her house in the Hamptons is the kind of mansion that celebrities and billionaires own. She was a regular dykes parties, of course, but he also went to hers like many of the other patients, I spoke to Emily decided to find a therapist at a low point in her life. The more in crisis, you are the more vulnerable. You are. I like she that way is treating you to make you better. But also keeping you tied to him. The arc of Emily's relationship with I was very similar to what mardi and Judas had experienced at first Emily felt like I had helter he guided her through her divorce, and he gave her advice us to get back on her feet financially he taught me how to control my emotions so I could make better decisions. There is a period when nobody in my industry would talk to me. And he's hot me how to get through that in some ways he taught me how to protect myself. But she says I moved the boundaries of the relationship. Little by little Emily says he pushed her to several close relationships in her life, including her mother. They also started to hold sessions outside X office. They would have sessions over dinner and not just any dinner the fanciest and most expensive restaurants in Manhattan. Danielle the four seasons. Cirque, Emily, always picked up the check on top of paying fee for the session. Emily didn't release, I talk about her treatment, and he didn't comment on their relationship for this series. But back in twenty twelve when I first started reporting on this story, he said these were business dinners over the years. Emily says, I seem to start to expect her to treat them in the summertime. They used to occasionally have sessions at restaurants in the Hamptons, he would want me to pick him up Achim, and drop him off, I told him once all call a taxi, and meet them at the restaurant, the taxi never came, but he wouldn't just get in his car and drive there. It was like it was beneath him. This is his stick is the guy. God. And there is nothing. You don't do for the God. She also gave him expensive gifts for one of ice birthdays, she gave him a ten thousand dollar watch. She says he accepted it. I didn't respond to a question about the watch as part of the familiar, Emily new many of other patients, including mardi they would spend time together at the summer parties. She also felt sorry for mardi had no friends is whole life was an expand. And I wanted to keep it that way mardi used to exercise by running up the stairs in his apartment building. I like to keep him isolated if he went to a gym he might meet someone. I didn't just introduce patients, several of them told me he would also gossip about them to each other. He spoke to the patients about each other and not in a positive way. He was like a mother who would divide and conquer then. Then he would try to pit them against each other, and then five or six years into her relationship with. Mike, Emily decided to make a change in her will, she went to see a lawyer, the same one, Marty had seen several years earlier when he changed his will Emily says that the new will left a substantial amount of money two daughters at that point. I had nobody else to give it to. She remembers the lawyer asking her to write a memo spelling out why she was putting her psychiatrist daughters into her will, but Emily says, I never actually uttered, the words, change your will. I very smart very manipulative. He does it in such a way that the words will come out of your mouth instead of his. If you come to the conclusion yourself, it will be much more powerful. So he leads you right up to it. And then you come to the conclusion, he's been leading you to I could never responded to my questions about Emily's will, but in two thousand twelve he did say in an Email, that he had never plotted to inherit her fortune. Why would I want to increase my children's inheritance? When I am an outspoken advocate that children's inheritance should be severely circumscribed in order to maintain their work ethic their social conscience, and as an antidote against gold digging suitors during my reporting, I did talk to some patients who had good experiences with hike. They described him as an insightful therapist, who helped him improve their lives. One woman even told me. Mike was the first person who made her face. Her drinking problem that is honesty had helps starter on the road to recovery. I also talked to some of ice, friends and colleagues, I met him playing basketball to Vanderbilt YMCA. So this was like nineteen seventy three seventy four. So that's like forty five years. Right. I mean it's so it's almost half a century. This berko a former New York Times, sports columnist and friend of ice. And I has been helpful to me, for example, when my brother at cancer was essentially dying in Chicago, and I quit speak to him. Ira would go to parties. He remembers Marnie there, and he saw mardi nyc together in Manhattan to I would take patients and walk in the neighborhood. He wouldn't just sit in his office. So one of the things to relax. I guess a patient he would walk and I. The fire from him. Read it that him Markowitz as I run at the several other of ice patience as he's walking with them. The various has some of these patients where 'cause you'd see them in the. Yeah. I would see on occasion. I mean, maybe there were three or four of them that I've met along the way couple couple months ago. I think that went on first avenue, the only one that I knew that he had a problem with was was Marty Markowitz. My name is Brody via road, the I E. And I'm Merida's professors tree. At the NYU school. Like iraq. John met Ike in a pickup game. They were both in med school at NYU I, I met I on the basketball court. Right next to behind the dorms at NYU, John stayed friends with after med school. And I even gave them office space when he was starting a private practice. I'm not a Hampton fan. I would go out there for his party's he would throw these big. Like it couldn't be Suare because it was during the day, but bring the kids bring me up, bring family. Come on. We'll have a good time leave with all before games. Were you aware that he had patients at some of those parties? No. How does that strike you? You know there's two ways of thinking about it. One can talk about it in very rigid, way and say, that's a that's abound, re bridge. The other way of looking at this to say, you know, a patient before a person's patient, they're human being. Patient, just defines a particular relationship, and they particular context. And if you're outside, but context. Then why the person isn't really a patient. The person is a person. I think there's some people would take them much harsher view than I do of. I've spoken to a number of psychiatrists for this story, and I can say a lot of them do take a harsher view of ice behavior than John does the American psychiatric association says it clearly in two thousand fifteen paper all interaction with a patient should be for the benefit of the patient and all interaction that could potentially cause harm or misunderstanding should be avoided when I asked about this, he wrote that the AP as ethics guidelines looked quite different in nineteen Eighty-one. He pointed out that there's no discussion of boundaries in that document. And that it's only six and a half pages long back in two thousand twelve I asked I how justified socializing with his patients at his party's while there was socializing that occurred at these gatherings. None of it was by me. This is an actor again reading from his response. I spent the entire time, greeting people when they arrived taking them on tours of the. Property explaining the facilities and amenities bringing the food platters up from the basement, making sure they remained filled replacing them when necessary, and then removing them when it was time for the barbecue for the first decade, I barbecued myself, but eventually a friend offered to replace me. I rarely if ever sat down except for the occasional photo, one year I wore no dominant, which registered that I had walked over twelve miles over the course of the day, experts say in psychiatry, a good doctor patient relationship is just that a doctor patient relationship and nothing else in the easiest way to do. No harm to a patient is to be strict about boundaries. I found an old letter from I to his patients, Sarah, curious, former friend, I quoted during his falling out with her, and it reveals something important about how I saw his role as you point out. I did not take the orthodox analytic approach refusing any contact whatsoever. I have generally preferred the medical model attending weddings funerals, etc. To the analytic model, but I hear to for have been successful in my selection process. This time I was not this was a failed experiment. Today. Judith says she's sorry she ever met. I she believes exit vice made her life worse. I think it would have been hailing from me. To forgive my mother not to forget to forgive so that I could have had my piece, and I think my life might have gone differently if I wasn't so full of resentments and hatred and anger, and all those unresolved feelings, I think I would have made different choices. It does feel like your relationship with hike in, in retrospect had created has created a tremendous amount of guilt for you. It has guilt end. Left the mess that I then had a clean up, and it wasn't until years later till the last few years that I've started to clean up the mess that I was left with. I'm happy to say. I'm different person today. I don't hate anyone including Ike. I am no patriot or anger towards anyone because I've learned that it doesn't serve me to feel that way. I'm not a fool. I know who's done right in who's done wrong. I would never. Ended a friendship would so in who I loved, I would never let a parent die. Remember let my mother died without making peace for both our sakes that would have been that would have been high would have done. After I left, I was worried seriously considered getting him an expensive gift to make him feel better. That's how brainwashed I was Emily told me that she had wanted to leave years earlier than she did. What held her back was her sense that he would be hurt? She told me that after they split, I quit show up at dinners and parties were, he knew she would be, but he eventually stopped. Emily also decided to call some of ice other patients mostly people had referred to him. She urged them to leave as well. Marty was one of the people she called he listened, but he didn't say much, and he didn't follow Emily out the door. It was clear. Emily told me that he wasn't ready not yet. From bloomberg. And wondering this is part four of six of the shrink next door. A story about power control and turning to the wrong person for help, if you'd like to help us spread the word. Please give us a five star review and tell you friends to subscribe were available on apple podcasts Spotify Cass box and every major listening as well as wondering dot com and Bloomberg dot com. If you feel you've been exploited by a psychotherapist there is help the therapy exploitation, link line helps victims fine resources to understand what has happened to them to take action and to heal. You can find a link to their website in the episode. If you're listening on a smartphone tap, or swipe over the cover art of this podcast, you'll find the episode notes, including some details, you may have missed. You'll also find some offers from our sponsors when you support our sponsors, you help us bring you our shows for free and thank you. The shrink next door was written and reported by me. Joe Nocera senior producer is Krista ripple. Bloomberg head of podcast is Francesca. Levy fact, checking by Molly Nugent Sanders by Jeff Schmidt executive produced by George lavender, marshal Louis and her non Lopez for wondering.

Judas Marty Markowitz Judith Emily Manhattan mardi Sam med school Sam Sampson Ike Joe Nocera United Nations Bloomberg Long Island Becky Hirsch mardi Southampton Brooklyn Sarah
Easy Mark Markowitz  | 3

The Shrink Next Door

50:12 min | 2 years ago

Easy Mark Markowitz | 3

"Tell you. I am holding in my hand and envelope posted to me on the front of the envelope is the nickname, Dr Isaac Hirsch, cough, used for his new patient easy, Mark Markowitz, easy, Mark Markowitz, that is way he used to call me here and easy, Mark, and all these people if they smell any kind of wealth, they're gonna just come at you and you're not going to be able to defend yourself because you don't know how to handle it confrontation. Marty Markowitz was rich. His fabric company alone was worth somewhere around ten million dollars between money in the stock market assets from his father's estate and real estate holdings. He was a multimillionaire still, you'd never know it mardi wasn't the kind of person to flaunt his wealth, quite the opposite. Actually, he drove the same car an Acura for over twenty years. He didn't eat expensive restaurants or buy expensive clothes. He could not have been more. Unassuming and yet Marty says, I somehow convinced him that is wealth made him a target. And he said to me, everyone wants a piece of you, everyone, you can't show the money you can't show, your wealth at that point, I had a house in Southampton, as well as a co op apartment in New York City, and he said, you can't show this anybody because they'll be jealous your passive aggressive, and they will take advantage of you one after another after another. Mardi remembers that I could repeatedly. Remind him that both his sister and his ex girlfriend had been after his money now, three years into their relationship. Mardi says, I told him it was time to get serious about protecting his wealth. He said, we need a will, and we need a foundation was his idea. Marty says I had a solution he would shield Marty from people who only wanted his money, and I will basically be the face of your wealth easy. Mark Marcowitz said, yes, the question is this no moment here where you're thinking to yourself, this isn't right? Or what's going on? Why is he doing this or why really want to have this guy has hooks into my money like this? There's no moment when you thought that there is no moment that, I thought that my main goal during that period was. To please, my psychiatrist. That was my goal. He was suggesting things that a lot, a lot of them were working and he totally had me under his spell. I mean, I once thought that maybe I was hypnotized because I responded to whatever you had to suggest with such enthusiasm. The shrink next door is pleased to have Brooklyn as it's presenting sponsor, my Brooklyn and sheets are already one of my most prized possessions. They look and feel like a million bucks. What makes Brooklyn and she's so great for one thing they only use long, staple cotton, because it produces the longest strongest and finest cotton fibers in the world. Putting these sheets on my bed has been an upgrade of epic proportions from thread count to weave the team at Brooklyn and have thought of everything. So all you have to think about is, is it bedtime yet? My Brooklyn and sheets are the best most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on now. It's time for your upgrade Brooklyn dot com has an exclusive offer just for listeners of the shrink next door. Get ten percent off your first order and free shipping when you use promo code the shrink at Brooklyn dot com Brooklyn and is so confident in their product that all their sheets comforters towels come with a lifetime warranty. The only way to get ten percent off your first order. Her and free shipping is to use promo code the shrink at Brooklyn dot com. That's B R O, K L, I N E, N dot com, promo code the shrink. From wondering in Bloomberg. I'm Joe Nocera. And this is the shrink next door. This is episode three easy. Mark markowitz. Business was booming at Marty's company associated fabrics. The company was very much a family affair. Nobody my wife literally was for the wealth. We've always had a close relationship. My dad had the highest respect his father had the highest respect for morning, Bruce. No Sarah had worked with Mari and Phyllis and watch their relationship fall apart things at quieted down since then at the warehouse until one day, Marnie showed up at the office with a man who was wearing a yarmulke, which made Bruce think he must be from mardi synagogue. Bruce, watched them walk around the warehouse floor looking at how everything was organized. The man took notes. No introductions were made both went into mornings office at four thirty gave knock on the door. Just morning. I'm gonna I'm gonna hit the road unless you've got something you wanna go all the before leave? This is no take it easy goes, just like the elevators nobody can come up. Bruce, didn't give the other man a second thought and he didn't wonder what was going on when he saw him in the office. Second time Morty can be incredibly private. So I didn't press on it. I, I didn't even ask them about the man kept coming to the warehouse so much. So the Bruce eventually decided that he couldn't be someone from mardi temple and said, okay, this guy must be consultant. A business consultant of some sort the business consultant was at the warehouse. The day Bruce had a massive fight with another employee. The to nearly came to blows. I said, take your shot, and if you're not gonna take the shot get the hell out of his office, and don't ever come back in without knocking some dumb, we had it the other employees was BRUCE'S, uncle Armand, while Martin calmed, Armand, down, Bruce waded outside his office, with the business consultant, and finally learned his name introduced himself, as Isaac Stevens after that, Bruce began seeing a lot more. More of Isaac Stevens over a period of months. I'm going to say it was the Stevens would say to me, how's everything business, what's happening. The everything adds we discuss business matters and everybody, you know, willing to marry way, Mr Stevens then start at the Cumbrae Gill, Mr Stevens had a lot of new ideas about the business, he hired a designer to come up with new stationary and new title. For employee's Bruce became director of sales, his uncle became director of operations. He also brought on a new employee. Marshall felt hammer they were introduced sort of under the radar. In other words, when we had a problem occur that we needed some technical analysis on, how do you deal with it? So the next thing I know is Marshall filled. Hammer is director of quality control. Marshall f felt hammer. Piece of work. Marshall felt hammer took a tougher line with customers in the past the company would do things like wave the odd fee. Now, though, there'd be no breaks. No matter how loyal customer, if a customer complained about say damage fabric. It was felt hammer on the case will if that point toilet will Marshall, Feldheim would take he would say that our labs in conjunction with independent outside lips conducted the tests, and at the tests, showed a fee, tail numbers in pages reports spoke to them. And we send these back to the customer, that'll be a science to understand for the put it said. Findings proximity fortify, yards of one or intimately soiled, the swimming severe equally space conforming to the concentric circles of a role conclusion. This is classic example of dragging damage. And then it signed by signed by Marshall, f Dr Marshall filled Hammett director of Corey control CC director. He was a master at crafting those letters master at it, right? The mountain perfect penmanship online pap-. He can put more in a handwritten letter. You can put on typewritten page single space. It was amazing amazing and affective. Another example, bombs, Inc bombs was a longtime customer of AFC's. They will use to the place being run like a mom and pop company, but recently, they had gotten one of Marshall felt hammers letters refusing to waive AFI bomb CEO, personally wrote to mardi he wrote this very long letter pulling on all of the heartstrings about how he had been a loyal customer for decades, and how you father would have done this, and what have you the letter read, I'm calling on you for help, if you were the person, I think you are you'll. Come to our rescue. I know how devoted you are to Judaism and God the letter that he got back from mardi contained. Some bombshell news. What a treat it was to get your letter exclamation point. In the time since I left associated fabrics, often getting the Saudi about the many close friends that I had in the business such as yourself Marty went on to explain that he had left associated fabrics and wasn't stead exploring his Judaism, the letter even went, so far as to invite the bomb executive to join him in the study of the town, would I really hope that you could join me for one of these bible classes. Let me know when it would be convenient for you. And I'll find something in English for beginners. I look forward to hearing from you and starting a new non business phase to our wonderful relationship. Bam's bought it. He stopped the guts except mardi hadn't left the company at it worked. It really worked. It was a complete lie. And it wasn't the only one there is no doctor felt him it was not see Bruce. No Sarah, never actually met Marshall, felt hammer and the flash because he didn't exist. Felt hammer was actually Isaac Stevens mardi started using a fake name to if he had something unpleasant to deal with the client or supplier, mardi would sometimes respond to them as Mr. Norman Horowitz. You didn't think it was weird that Marty was going under an assumed name in the office could kill us. I really couldn't get yo it, it was. So over the top. That you had to want to see that. Crazy. Here and Isaac Stevens. Well, his name in fact was I curse cough, Isaac? Steven Hirsch cough. Mardi psychiatrist. By nineteen Eighty-six. Isaac Stevens was no longer just a consultant. He was the company's president, he prided himself that he was the president of the company had business cards made up with president. Okay. So for him, it was a stature involved in being the president of an international textile company. He he enjoyed that I can't begin to tell you enjoyed that. So that is Stevens have his own stationary that it could write it out on you betcha. Isaac stevens. We develop stationary for him. His name was on the telephone when you called up the company, you had a choice you could dial one for sales to for operations three for accounting for for customer service and five for our President, Mr Isaac h Stevens. I confirms that he used the name is Stevens at AFC, and that he was the president. He describes his role as purely titular. It was still legally Marty's company, but he does it knowledge that is titled carried weight in one of his responses from two thousand twelve he wrote my role at AFC was to be the authority figure. And when necessary the bad cop he says that Marty wanted to avoid confrontation with customers. And that's why he and Marty created the alter egos of felt hammer and Horowitz from BRUCE'S point of view. The changes were bewildering in the space of a few years he'd seen mardi split from his sister, turn his company upside down and now here over the title of president to this guy. A consultant was one thing, but president of the Markowitz family company, red flick. Because as I said, I know the family and the DNA that MAURICE for the imparted on them would have made his hand cramp before he could have signed over those kind of rights it just and I knew it. I knew it. I just Bruce could see that Isaac Stevens had total influence over his boss. I mean it was obvious. It was physically obvious. The way more his physical demeanor with subservient to physically subservient to. And I saw that. I never understood I never understood. But I knew it was wrong. Let's call it that Reuss was concerned by what he was seeing of the new president. I says he's strongly disagrees with Bruce. No Sarah's recollections of these decades old incidents. But Bruce told me about one particular phone call. I quiz on AFC. It took place after one of the employee's had been fired. She wanted to talk about her severance. They were corresponding the phone. So Stephen system, e come into the office so that, you know what's being said. So in case something comes back, okay? Got gonna tape recorder going. Everything was tape recorder all the time anytime you speak to him tape recorders and process tip record. It was on foams on speaker. I was sitting there cogos. Through two and they're going back and forth and back and forth, Bruce listened quietly, and the substantive part of this story is she turns around and says to him, I know that you're recording this, and I know that Bruce mortar in the office with you listening to it. Well, I almost with my tongue. Holy shit. She pulled them out straight, and she's right all counts. Right. His is didn't even. Blink. With city says Suli nutty goes with the two terms of it's just you and me on the phone. That's it. There's no one here. I'm that recording anything. There wasn't an inflection. He just the livid outline dead on with no anything other than I am telling you stone cultural Bruce was shot, and he admits that he was cautious around Aiken the office and because he was cautious because he kept his distance. He didn't know where Marty went on the weekends or that Isaac Stevens. Sometimes went there, too. And if Marty was giving up control at work, it was nothing compared to what he was signing away and. What were you doing about six months ago? Think about it that amount of time passes in the blink of an eye. What if you gain a lifetime of confidence in those six months now you can with smile direct club? All you have to do is go online and book an appointment for a free three d image at one of their smile shops. Or if you wanna use at home impression kit, you can get a twenty five dollars rebate. They'll Email you a preview of your new smile. 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Cov Marty was completely isolated with no family or close friends by nineteen Eighty-four. He was alone in the world and that presented a new problem. A financial problem, very simply I explained to me, you have no family. There is nobody that you can leave your money to is just going to go, you know, intestate to the state basically. So let's do something to resolve that issue I had a solution your own. So conclusion was we need to start a charitable foundation. We're going to call it the Arom foundation YARD when the your own foundation would provide away from Marty's money to be donated to worthy causes, I and Marty would run the foundation together, he basically said, we're going to do that. And he said, I have the perfect lawyer Feuer from, from the synagogue that I'm very friendly with he's going to take care of. Everything. The lawyer had worked for for ex wife and even sister-in-law. And so in early nineteen Eighty-four Mardian Ike filed into his office near Wall Street and signed the paperwork to set up a foundation Marez first contributions added up to one hundred sixty five thousand dollars. I first contribution was five thousand dollars. The foundation was up and running now, mardi made your own the beneficiary of his will now on the board of the foundation with three people. I his wife and myself. Anything should have happened to me. God forbid during that period, I can his wife would have controlled all of the assets of the foundation, which meant everything everything I owned, including the company, everything went to the foundation. I confirm that he was a board member. Indeed. He was your own president. But he didn't answer any of our other questions about the foundation mardi says he trusted to do right by your own. And by him, I thought that he would spend my money in a way that would gore find me. That's when he told me he would spend the money and give it an away the honor me. Pretty soon. The Iran foundation made its first donations is within Dacian started. I have every checked ever that the foundation ever did Marez current office is piled high with file cabinets and banker's boxes holding documents that go back to the early eighties. Marnie. Did you throw anything away? Morty admits he's a pack rat, and all of the documents he saved have been critical to verifying. His claims mardi has kept every check stub of every donation made by the Iran foundation. And between the three board members, there was one who was more shall we say generous with the foundations money, he kept the checkbook, he wrote the cheques without consultation with me, and I would get the Bank statements because I had a reconcile everything. So I knew what was going on. And I really object to it. Strenuously mardi may have been the one putting most of the money into the foundation. But he says he wasn't the one making the decisions about where the money would go. Yeah. Literally, I check I told her fifth nineteen eighty four and you can look at the signatures on the bottom so song on the bottom of that. I check I could read some familiar letters. I s h I. Initials, one of the first checks was donation to mardi synagogue, and then. Yeah NYU school of medicine. I would never give them any money, young Israel, far sills. No chance no relationship there. This again is Lincoln square, the next one we've consulted on these now. I, he signed the Iran foundations checks, but he denies that they were posted without Martin. Okay. You can see I signature on check after check after check, many of them made out to organizations that I had selected check number one zero two four made payable to Ramaz. That's his kids school dated November twenty two nineteen eighty five here NYU school of medicine, December nineteen eighty-five two thousand five hundred dollars by the end of nineteen eighty five. Marty had up his contributions to one hundred ninety five thousand dollars. I could up his to fifteen thousand dollars, but the donations were almost all to charities with a connection to I was not of a mode to challenge. I when he decided to spend money on this particular charity, or that particular charity, even though it was above and beyond what he was contributing, which I was aware of notes the two of your own biggest beneficiaries, the Ramaz school, and the Lincoln square, synagogue were institutions, where both he and Marty had connections. It's true, mardi was an active member of the synagogue, and even paid his nieces tuition, it Ramaz for time, but he says that I was the engine for your own donations, especially to Ramaz where I three children, went to school, and he was a trustee. It was an okay thing, I'm gonna charitable kind of guy, but nothing like this nothing like this one of the things. That's most surprising about the checks is how many of them were for tiny amounts three dollars to the national Alzheimer's research project three dollars. Three dollars to the concerns of police survivors. Two thirty because he wanted to list them as one of the organizations that report of the this grand your own foundation. Of course, there were also much larger donations ten thousand dollars like it was nothing because it wasn't his money. A little bit of it was maybe a little bit was. It was mostly my money, but Marty says, I favor it way to spend the foundations money was to buy a table at a charity gala to help sell tickets, some of these charities list celebrities to sit at each table. I could buy a table for five or ten thousand dollars and then right to friends or people. He wanted to be friends with inviting them to join him at the event, I didn't respond, when we asked him for comment about this, but mardi saved many of these letters, dear nor Ephron, dear gay talese, dear Mia. Farrow was away of currying favor of all of these people. You don't have to give penny. I bought a table. You're coming, my guest, I quit. Also put aside one seat for mardi and give him a job. My goal would be to get like in a photograph with a celebrity. That was my goal. And that's what I focused on. That's where all those photos on the wall of the Southampton house came from. You have a cocktail hour and then you called into the main room for dinner. And some point they have a program that they wanna run, generally, they're honoring somebody at the event was a big thing to mingle at these at these dinners, and I would get up and mingle. He was very good at all of that stuff. And, and I would basically follow him around with the camera. There's one photo in particular that mardi remember shooting. It's a photo that hung in the kitchen and Southampton for years, it was taking one of these galas, an evening where I spotted the actress and supermodel Brooke Shields. She was seated the next fable, she would stand up he would stand up, and he would walk over to her and say something he would sort of give me a hand signal, you know, like take a picture of this mardi was envious. I was a master at mingling, mardi himself would never have been able to work up the nerve to talk to someone like Brooke Shields. But the. Like it seemed to come naturally yet away. He was a very look. I was a charming guy. And I can remember he had never run into Brooke Shields ever. I mean she was so warm to him. And the picture was so friendly, it was just remarkable that he'd never seen before. But I got used to that because he was that kind of a guy that had a way of. Saying the right thing, always saying the right that's part of his Sean. There was one asset that Marty didn't leave to the your own foundation. His Swiss Bank account, even though Mari and Phyllis weren't speaking, a rabbi was finally able to help them, settle their father's estate, and they split the Swiss account, Marnie took his share and put it in a new Swiss Bank account, it came to about seven hundred fifty thousand dollars mardi brought the cash back to the US years ago. But back in the nineteen eighties, it was still a secret from the IRS. In fact, the only other person who knew it existed was I, he said, why don't I become the joint cosigner? I'll meet with the Swiss banker which he did this was spanker would come to America every year or two and we made an ice office, and we range to do the whole setting up a joint account. And what was the purpose of having joined the purpose of timing? Join a candidate it wouldn't be. Locked into some dispute, we needed all kinds of legal action to, to get get access to the money by having a joint account meant if either one of us passed that money immediately was available to the other one. I says that money, begged them to become the joint, owner of the account that money was worried about what would happen to the money if he died. I promised it would all go to the foundation, if mardi passed away either way, I became a cosigner tomorrow's account. Now that money was just as much his as it was. Marez. Really didn't think it's through. I really didn't think it's had nobody I could bounce any of these notions off of am I doing the right thing doing the wrong thing. So I said fine seem reasonable and you didn't think psychiatrists shouldn't be doing this. I may have I may not have, but I had no with attorney for advice. And that was my fault. I'll, I'll accept the responsibility for that. If Marty who's eight years older than I died, I, I could be able to claim the money in the Swiss Bank account, no questions asked. Is easy to forget, but podcasts are businesses to at wonder we do all kinds of business. He stuff accounting payroll marketing, but sometimes that business, he stuff takes a lot of time like shipping they used to be so time consuming filling out labels looking packages to the shipping place. Then we discovered ship station since the early days at one degree. We've used ship station to ship, all our stuff ship station is ridiculously easy to use. The only company we rely on to get our packages where they need to go locally or globally. 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Morty hit purchased a house in south Hampton back in the early eighties, I can courage mardi to use that home to expand his social circle, and then he said, now we're gonna have a party until Hampton and going to invite the people, some people out that, you know, I think that for Sparty was mostly people that I knew from Lincoln Swiss and ago and did I attend that party. Oh, yeah. They threw the party close to Father's Day, nineteen Eighty-four, and they made it nice catering invitations in the mail, the whole works. It was a proper party. I think we've made even shorter the bus for that. I it was a huge success. Mardi spent the afternoon hosting people from his synagogue and manning. The grill he was happy when a few of his favourite rabbis made the trip it was the first time that I his wife Becky and their two young daughters had visited Marty's home in Southampton. And they enjoyed it. They return later that summer and, again the following year, I Clint, mardi know that he didn't want him to think of the Hearst coughs as guests. And he said to me, you know, my family will be your family. To his delight mardi got to play uncle again. I- starters were young, and they love seeing mardi when they would visit they even celebrated their six birthday in the Hamptons. Old home videos of the twin standing over a plate of cupcakes. Mardi was generous, uncle to ice kids, just like he'd once been with his own nieces and nephew. Yeah. I used to give them presents for their birth and nice presence, one, one year, I gave them each two thousand dollar computer birthday, nice and Martin didn't just see them in the Hamptons, he would occasionally see them in the city. I made it clear that he trusted Marty I once went to a parent's day because he and Becky were busies, and I came as a surrogate parent for one of the twins. It was a few years after that. I father day party that Marty says, I encouraged him to buy another piece of property, the lot that boarded the back of Marty's house. The second house was bigger with a bigger pool. And even a tennis court at the first house, I could been a guest, but at this new home, I took a more active interest in the property. He says this was at Martin's insistence mardi sees it differently. I mean, he took over the house of mmediately. Well, he said you, you, you're going to stay in the back, and I'm Becky. And either gonna take over the master bedroom master bath in that whole wing of the house. So he basically just gave you roomba room. That's right. No, no. Absolutely. It's exactly the way it happened. I'm going to sleep in the master bedroom, and immediately with that came the AFC is Stevens on the mailbox. Is stevens. His name was also on the plaque on the front door. And in the phone book. I says this was all at Martin request. He wrote to us that Marty wanted to make the home look like a company house. He says, mardi wanted to avoid uncomfortable conversations with people who would ask to spend a weekend there, I estimates that he and his family spent about twenty days a year in Southampton. There were the summer parties, of course, but the family also sometimes spent the holidays there when that happened. I quit tell Marty to make himself scares and go to the Catskills very simple. I think I'm gonna go out to the house over thanksgiving, one or two to the concord very matter-of-fact done most weekends. Marty was at the house alone. I always made sure he had a long list of chores to tackle, Monte still has these letters, letters were would write out instructions. I even included little draw. Knowing's to illustrate what he wanted. One letter mardi showed me begins, dear Mook, he used to call me move from, like Mookie Wilson, right? It was very popular. Back in the day, it was met, she's the call me Mook and right. And give me detailed instructions what to do in Southampton me, busy keeping trouble. You've crossed things off lift guys. I did them. That's right. I was very methodical on that list is in a letter mardi showed me from August nineteen eighty nine I numbered, each item and wrote instructions for mardi the Arbor is wonderful. Congratulations. What can we do to retain the color before it fades? Let's not make the same mistake. We I e you made with the other Arbor, this is an actor reading, X letter, I construction were incredibly detailed, he tell Marty weird to hang new photos as mardi picked up each new frame, his specifications were exacting. The three horizontal montages and the new vertical one goes side by side. On wall forming to wool montage. It should fit perfectly bottom should be approx three and a half inches below where it is now to allow for another row above after giving mardi a half a dozen more tasks. I added a PS where the towels wash him, I says, he paid for many things around the house sculptures bikes, even a massage table. But Marty says he paid for the lion share. I also says he paid for the summer parties. Catering alcohol and cleanup crews. When I as mardi about a cleanup crew. He said, I may have hired a maid once or twice. But for the most part, he says he did it all. Oh, yeah. I did all of that my life revolved around him the doctor and whatever he wanted me to do. So we go to his office and say, here, look at this, get this, get this, get this, get this, and, and I would do it mardi also begin to emulate. I I could see it. And some of the old photos he showed me and you have a beard there. Yeah. Well, I grew beer tomorrow to nearer his beard. It is. Yeah. By nineteen ninety one the value of martyrs property. In the Hamptons, had skyrocketed, the first house was, I had purchased for one hundred eighty thousand dollars and I really did not put any significant improvements into that house. The second house I bought for four hundred and fifty thousand dollars when you combine those who houses and then with the additions that we put in, you know, I have no idea. But I just know it was exponentially worth more than the first house. I really don't know what the number would be. But it would certainly be in the millions of dollars. Which perhaps explains why seven years after that, I will mardi drafted a new will this one gave most of his estate to the foundation, but not all of it. I think he started to smell that the house was becoming increasingly worth a lot of money. And he had he had the power over me to say, okay, you know what Becky loves the house? It's the way described it to me, Becky loves this house. And I think we're going to you should leave it to her outright. As Marty recalls, it, I raise the subject of a new will sometime in the summer of nineteen Ninety-one. Yeah, he wasn't very subtle, and with a new will came a new lawyer someone I knew. This new lawyer, drew up the will is mardi instructed and Marty signed in August. In his office one afternoon, money dug up that second will from me. And it says article I leaves the Southampton real estate to Becky or if she does not survive to or if he does not survive to their descendants. That's girls. That's right. Article third leaves the balance of your state to the your own foundation, ARCO, fourth creates trust for anyone under twenty five who becomes entitled to a share of your state, this would cover and becky's children. I doesn't deny that Marty Wilders house to ex wife, but he has a different recollection of how it happened. He says, mardi begged him to inherit the house and that he I refused. Becky finally, caved to Marty's wishes and agreed to be the beneficiary and so Margie psychiatrist's wife became the one who would inherit his house, we reached out to Becky for comment, and I declined on her behalf in addition to the second will Ma. Marty also signed over his healthcare proxy, and his power of attorney to that meant that there was now no aspect of Marty's life that I was not in a position to control. And if this didn't ring alarm bells for mardi did for someone else, the lawyer, who drew up the will to years after he'd helped set up this new will he sent mardi a letter junine nineteen Ninety-three March showed me, this document to written. I'm legal letterhead. It gets right to the point. You're will leave the Southampton home and its contents to Becky Hirsch cough. Or if she does not survive to the balance of your state is left to your own foundation, as we discussed on the phone. The quest doctors lawyers clergy and others. A fiduciary relationship are subject to special scrutiny. I am concerned about a possible challenge to your will based on the medical relationship with Mike. Would you be willing to write a letter to me detailing the history of your relationship with Aiken, Becky plainly life? So something got the lawyers attention. He seemed concerned about mardi leaving his. Home to his psychiatrist wife explained that the Southampton in your own bequest, or totally voluntary, and not subject to any suggestion by related to your medical association with him such a letter will help up hold your will against any challenge. The lawyer got a quick response, mardi still has that letter. But he says he didn't write it. I don't write for page responses to anything. So my style those four pages contain a detailed description of how mardi I went to like, and how I helped him through his split with his sister. I can still remember calling her scoff at two AM on Memorial Day weekend at his brother-in-law's house. And Philadelphia then as always he was there for me. He shepherded me through what had seemed insoluble crisis. His personal support allowed me to weather overwhelming. Emotional storm is strategic advice allowed me to regain a large amount of money that I had a Sumed had been irreversibly. Tolan his business advice allowed my company to continue operating until that time I had known of Dr her scarfs business acumen and expertise, I had known that he maintained the separate successful practice in business. Consultations ID, any of this stuff. I gotta tell you this is not me speaking at all the letter explains that I stopped being mardi psychiatrists as early as nineteen eighty three I would never within two years. My psycho therapy was drawing so successful kind of nonsense that and the doctor hers cough suggestion, we started to discuss termination. Never when I reached out to I for this story, he said, he told Marnie to stop writing checks to is her scoff. The psychiatrist and start writing them to his other identity at that point, I says, mardi stopping his patient and became his business client in order to avoid any possible. Confusion of this type I deliberately had business clients pay a separate business account accordingly where previously EMS checks were made out to quote Dr Hirsch, cough, subsequently. They were made out to quote Isaac Stevens. Previously, he used his own personal checks subsequently. He paid with corporate checks from quote associated fabrics, corporation AFC, if he thought he was still in therapy. He was cheating the government taking a personal expense as a business. One. Denies he wrote the letter to the lawyer, he points out that Marty was a capable adult a successful businessman with an Ivy league education and a law degree. And he says, mardi typed out this letter himself signed it, and had it notarized, Marnie doesn't dispute that he signed it, or even typed it, I was solely oblivious, which is why probably sign the bottom of this letter. But all this is just not true. There were no discussions about termination of my relationship with him. Reforming it as a business consultation, e you know, just none of that happened. While some of his behavior was unusual with regard to the parties and the, like this is another former patient, vikes when I later learned that he had actually orchestrated scenarios of writing himself into people's wills with patients who didn't have strong relationships outside of their relationship with I did, you know, of any other patients who did that or is murder the. And the way that might have happened. Another from stances. It turns out mardi wasn't the only one. From bloomberg. And wondering this is part three of six of the shrink next door. A story about power control, and turning to the wrong person for help the fourth episode will be out in a few days. But if you'd like to listen to it now, as well as your favorite wondering originals ad free subscribe to wonder plus, go to one read dot com slash plus that's wondering dot com slash P. L US, you'll find a link on the episode notes if you'd like to help us spread the word. Please give us a five star review and tell your friends to subscribe, we're available on apple podcasts and every major listening app as well as wondering dot com. Visit Bloomberg dot com slash shrink next door. For more on this story, including images extended content. If you're listening on a smartphone tap. Or swipe over the cover art of this podcast, you'll find the episode notes, including some details, you may have missed. You also find some offers from our sponsors. When you support our sponsors, you help us bring you our shows for free and thank you the streak next door was written and reported by me. Joe Nocera senior producer is Krista ripple. Bloomberg's head of podcast is Francesca, Levy fact, checking Molly Nugent sound design by Jeff Schmidt, executive produced by George lavender, marshal Louis, and her non Lopez for wondering. Netflixing beats estimates once again, adding five million subscribers in the quarter, rains Nike poaching, its top three designers in the battle of the rideshare services lip strikes. Uber where it hurts every day business war. Chips versus disruptors American giants versus Chinese competition, founders versus corporate raiders. Sometimes the prize is your wallet. Sometimes it's your attention. And sometimes, well, it's just the fun of beating the other guy corporate raider. Carl icon sets his sights on blockbuster. I'm David Brown. Former host of marketplace, and I'm hosting a brand new podcast about business. 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Mardi Marty Isaac Stevens Southampton BRUCE'S mardi mardi synagogue Marnie Marty Markowitz Martin AFC Becky Hirsch Morty Dr Isaac Hirsch president Joe Nocera mardi temple Dr Marshall Brooklyn