35 Burst results for "Becker"
A Stroll Through Racing History: September 11th
"On september tenth. Two thousand one keeneland association in lexington kentucky opened its annual september. Yearling sale a colt by leading sire storm cat. Top the opening session at five point. Five million dollars the final crop of legendary sire. Mr prospector was attracting considerable interest. As well it was business as usual but the following morning as handlers presented yearlings to prospective buyers in the bar area and as consigners were busy rushing updates to the sales pavilion images of coordinated terrorist attacks on the united states began. Filling newscasts being streamlined. On television monitors located throughout keeneland sales complex there were horrific images from new york from washington dc and from pennsylvania the nation was thrown into chaos on the keeneland sales grounds individuals who only moments earlier had been preoccupied with selling and buying horses suddenly stopped. They stared in disbelief struggling to comprehend what was unfolding on the east coast. Keeneland officials immediately announced that the start of the sale will be delayed by one hour but then as the depth of the attacks became more fully known. The decision to the way became a decision to postpone with keeneland. The mount saint that the sale would not continue until the following day at the earliest given that it was tuesday. Only eleven tracks across the country rescheduled the host. Live racing the downs at albuquerque delaware. Park fairmount park fair. Plex finger lakes great lakes downs. The meadowlands mountaineer racetrack philadelphia park prairie meadows and sunray park all eleven canceled. Most racing facilities would remain closed the following day as well at keeneland the president. Nick nicholson announced the formation of a red cross relief fund. It raised one hundred thirty thousand dollars within the first twenty. Four hours in the midst of the shock. Anger and sadness. There was also a stronger sense of community beginning to emerge
Prosecutor Calls R. Kelly A "Predator" as Racketeering Trial Begins
"Of R and B Star R. Kelly is underway in New York and opening remarks. The prosecutor Wednesday said the criminal trial is about a predator who used his fame to manipulate women and Children. The trial centers around a number of sex abuse claims. Defense attorney Nicole Blank. Becker, though, said it would be a stretch to believe that Kelly could have orchestrated the elaborate criminal enterprise He is charged with running. The trial stems from years of allegations that the 54 year old Kelly sexually abused women and girls.
R. Kelly Trial Underway In Brooklyn, NY Federal Court
"The first witness in singer R. Kelly's racketeering trial is expected to continue to testify Thursday in New York I marches are a letter with the latest your other pieces she was sixteen and a member of R. Kelly's fan club when he invited her to his mansion in twenty ten in order to take off her clothes she says he told her to lie about her age their relationship continued for six months with Kelly getting more controlling she says when she broke what were called rob's rules he slapped her and choked her until she passed out Kelley's lawyer Nicole blank Becker said in opening statements the alleged victims were fans who knew what they were getting into and juror should not assume everyone is telling the truth
How Can You Stop Comparing Yourself With Other People?
"Not read deeply on the following topic. I'm guessing you have. But what i have read suggests that it is a bad idea to constantly compare yourself to other people so assuming that is bad. Tell me if. I'm wrong but assuming that is bad. How can i stop. I think it is often bad to compare yourself to other people. And maybe i would go so far as usually bad but it's basic human instinct and that means we should ask ourselves i. Why do we do that because anytime we instinctively do something. There's usually a function behind. Okay why do we do that seriously. You know who doesn't do it. Children children are very egocentric. All the way up to the beginning of adolescence when they become the opposite. When you enter adolescence all you want to do is compare yourself to other people. How tall you are. How good looking. You are how popular you are. How smart you are. The raging desire for social comparison is at its peak during adolescence. It doesn't leave us entirely in adulthood. We looked to the last. We look to the right. We ask where do we stand relative to our peers. That's valuable information. Because guess what human beings are. Social animals and social animals exist in a hierarchy and the reason why we do social comparisons is because it is valuable information. So let me ask you this. Then what are the costs of that social comparison. So let's imagine that when. I compare myself to you steven on say my writing ability or my ability to read a scientific article and understand it either. I'm better than you or you're better than me because it's rare actually that we. I'm exactly the same as other person right so now what happens when i think that you're better than me. Well not surprisingly that makes me feel bad. It can have a motivating effect like oh. I need to work harder. But he make you sad. It can make you insecure. It could even lead you to quit right. I mean that's to me. One of the biggest potential costs of comparison is like oh. I'm worse than those other people at whatever it is it could be professional. Could be a hobby. Could be social. And say. Therefore i am going to withdraw from the arena gary becker the nobel laureate economist. He apparently had a roommate in college. Who was very good at math and young. Gary thought oh. I thought i was going about it but then i met my roommate it. I realized it wasn't so good. Well it turns out that his roommate went onto win something like the fields prize. I mean you know. Be careful who you compare yourself
Zhou Yusen Filed for Vaccine Patent Before COVID-19 Outbreak
"Up dead. I want you to go to this piece. Everyone, please. You can check it out my newsletter or you can just go right to it. By my friend Kyle Becker and Becker News. Here. Is that the headline in the piece? China game Wuhan lab secret military activity. Led to a February 2020 covid vaccine, patent report finds Again. If you were going to make a bio weapon, you damn well better have a vaccine first. Here's the first quote from the peace and it's quoting some research by an Australian newspaper called the Weekend Australian. It says, quote there talking about this woman Zhao use N It, says Zhao, who conducted the research in conjunction with the Wuhan Institute, University of Minnesota and the New York Blood Center, was the first to file a patent for a covid neck Covid 19 vaccine on February 24th of last year. According to documents obtained by the weekend. Australian This was only five weeks after China admitted there was a human to human transmission of the virus. What were they doing? Building a vaccine and spending all this money on a virus that they had said Don't worry. There's no human to human transmission. Does that make any sense to you only if they were lying. The holder of the patent. The piece goes on his striking Zhao use end is listed as the lead inventor on the patent application lodged by the Institute of Military Medicine Academy of Military Sciences of the People's Liberation Army of China. The report states folks again When are these media types going to remove their craniums from their rectums? And say, Holy Moses? This sounds
Boston Mayor Fires Police Commissioner After Domestic Violence Allegations
"Earlier. Today i informed dennis white of his termination as commissioner of the boston. police department. Effective immediately rat is acting boston. Mayor kim janey announcing just this hour that boston police commissioner. Dennis white is out of his job following decades old allegations of domestic violence. Wbu our senior correspondent. Deborah becker is on the story and joins us now. Deb welcome back. Thanks for joining us. Oh you're welcome so. I know this basically just came down dab and we've been looking for this waiting for this announcement for a while. Tell us what's what's the decision. Malaysia said acting their janey says dennis weight is terminated effective immediately. He's also off the police force entirely. Not even some had wondered if he might go back to being a detective. Lieutenant but that will not be the case here Acting janey says interim commissioner. Greg long will stay in that role for the time being. And she says she's forming a committee and laying the groundwork to conduct a national search for a new commissioner and she says the that search will include extensive vetting and background checks of any candidates going
A Stroll Through Racing History: Louis Quatorze
"He was a handsome bay. Grandson of northern dancer often described this regal and majestic it was appropriate. Given that he was named for a former king of france and twenty five years ago this weekend he won the one hundred twenty first running of the preakness stakes his name. Was louis tours. Fold on march thirteen. Nineteen ninety-three in kentucky. Lewis tours was offered by breeder. Georgia hoffman at the one thousand nine hundred ninety four keeneland july yearling sale but was bought back for two hundred twenty five thousand dollars off eventually sold an interest in the son of sovereign dancer to william cornacchia. And tell us contract with future hall of famer. Nick zito chosen the colts trainer. Bloomington doors whose name refers to the architecture stylings of the reign of king. Louis the fourteenth of france showed promise as a juvenile he robbed by five lengths and breaking his maiden at saratoga and he finished runner-up and both the hopeful stakes saratoga and the futurity at belmont park both of which were great one races early in his three-year-old campaign. Lacouture tour's want a pair of allowance races. At gulfstream park he was fourth in the florida derby unbridled song and runner-up beaten six skip away in the blue grass stakes at keeneland and a difficult journey the kentucky derby would relegate him to a sixteenth place. Finish some twenty two lakes behind winner. Grindstone still zito saw an opportunity in the preakness stakes with the colts. Blood work xrays following the derby reveals. No issues at the fact that neither grindstone nor beaten derby favourite song would be going to the preakness and z. Tow began believing that his horse would not only have an opportunity but also a legitimate shot at winning the second leg of the triple crown
A Stroll Through Racing History: Peter Pan
"Later today. The new york racing association will present the peter pans. Jake's a grade three tests for three year olds of the violin. Eight at belmont park. The racing world will be watching to see a potential belmont stakes. Contender might emerge from the field and has been the case many times in the past but for our purposes. We take a look back at peter. Pan himself the champion thoroughbred of the early twentieth century for whom the race is named peter. Pan was a home. Home-bred fold in nineteen hundred four for owner breeder and wall street investors. James r keene. His trainer was hall of famer. James rowe who would count peter pan among the record thirty four champions. He conditioned turf historian. Ws burke described peter pan as a bay with a narrow blaze. his head was broad between the is deepened the jowl and square at the muzzle. He had a stout neck. A beautifully laid shoulder and a deep girth and flakes. His barrel was buried. Full the ribs arching the quarters massive and the tail set low all according to vosper on another occasion fosberg described. Peter pan is a big burly bay with every evidence of constitution and a degree of courage which helped him carry his speed. When the pace was at its fiercest asks for breeding. Peter pan was the son of belmont stakes winner and two-time forcibly your command bill. His mother mayor named cinderella and one in stakes company in england at a mile and a half. His third dam was a full sister to the epsom derby winner of eighteen. Seventy two as a two year old in nineteen. Oh six. Peter pan scored his first aches victory. On june twenty eight taking the surf stakes at five and a half furlongs as the co. Second choice at the sheep's head bay racetrack in brooklyn a few weeks later on august sixth. He's on the flash bakes the same distance saratoga leading all the way under top weight of one hundred twenty five pounds as the two to one favorite
How Three Women Re-Wrote the Story of War
"Before the vietnam war there was a law that banned women from reporting on the front lines of any war for the us. When president johnson refused to officially declare a state of war in vietnam in opening appeared no ban a handful of pioneering women bought one way tickets into the battlefield they had no editors no health insurance and little or no formal training reporter elizabeth becker former washington post war correspondent in cambodia and then npr's foreign editor and then national security correspondent for the new york. Times has just published. You don't belong here. How three women rewrote the story of war. Chronicling catherine lewa a french. Photojournalist franky fitzgerald an american long form journalist and author and kate webb in australian combat reporter elizabeth. Welcome to on the media will thank. You broke his great to be with you. I wanna start with where you started. You give your initial experience very short shrift. When asked why did you cross the ocean to cover a war. When you're so young you said the short answer was a nightmare. I was all too keen to leave behind. My masters adviser had rejected my thesis on the bangladesh war of independence after. I refused to sleep with him and he said one wasn't related to the other. Just tell me what happened. This was nineteen seventy two and there weren't that many women in graduate school and he made a move. And i said no. He pressed on and i said no he rejected. The thesis. said. I had to work harder on it. Then resisted any idea that one related to the other. That even made a pass at me. So you know you're young enough that you think that you have your whole life ahead of you and wary enough that i said i'm not leaving my life in this guy's
McDonald powers Arizona past Indiana and into Final Four
"Paige Becker scored twenty eight points in the first overall seed used to huge run spanning the final two quarters to beat number two Baylor sixty nine sixty seven the Huskies actually trailed fifty five forty five late in the third quarter before scoring nineteen consecutive points ten coming from backers we got kind of stagnant and just watch everybody do their own thing with the bond once we got that problem and better and start pushing in transition getting easier buckets I'm against a really tough defense and half court I think that open up the game for us every McDonnell scored thirty three points and third seeded Arizona beat number four Indiana sixty six fifty three the pac twelve player of the year briefly left the game with a twisted ankle with two thirty five left but limped back on to the court and scored six more points I'm the ferry
Supreme Court to Hear Appeal of Ruling That Overturned Boston Marathon Bomber's Death Sentence
"Radio boston. I'm donna deering and we start today with another major development in the country's largest drug lab scandal suffolk. County district attorney. Rachel rollins says that her office could vacate up to tens of thousands more criminal convictions. That were based on drug evidence tested at the now closed hinton lab. Wbu our senior correspondent. Deborah becker is reporting on the story. Deb joins us now dead. Welcome back to radio boston. Thanks for having me so deb. D. rollins is proposing to vacate any drug convictions based on results. From the hinton lab from may two thousand three to august two thousand twelve why that nine year time window will. That was the time period when two chemists worked at the hinton lab at the same time. Any dukan and sony ferrick you may remember. Both women were convicted on charges of tampering. With the drug evidence they were supposed to be testing fair conviction though stemmed from her work at the state lab in amherst but both women worked at the hinton lab. At one time. Eric worked there before she went to amherst. Rollin says what's needed is a more thorough review of all the drugs certifications that came from the hinton lab wild. Both women were working there. She calls the drug lab scandal. Systemic misconduct and a catastrophic failure of management that she says needs a complete review so all the testing done at that lab during that time should be looked at and we should point out that after both chemists were convicted tens of thousands of criminal drug convict. Convictions were dismissed because of their misconduct. We're talking about more. Give us a sense of scale here. Deb how many people might this effect will will. There's no precise number but rollins office says is that the hinton lab certified almost eighty three thousand drug samples for evidence during that time and that was in suffolk county and the massachusetts supreme judicial court which has reviewed various challenges and calls for a way to deal with all of the cases in both labs has vacated thousands of convictions based on the testing and hidden lab alone about eight thousand from hinton so the remaining seventy four thousand drug certifications that rollins talking about from suffolk county. She says her office is going to review all of those and they could be part of what she says is a global resolution to deal with these cases once and for all and thousands more convictions could be erased. But there's no exact number because one drug certification could have several drug certifications could have been done for one case so. The exact number is unclear. Got it got it. But it's it's a lot to review. So how does it work are they. Are they essentially starting deb with the assumption that all the convictions must be vacated and then working backward from there as they review the cases. How are they gonna do this well. She says she's going to convene robin says. She's going to convene a summit next month with the defense bar to start this review look at every affected case all the drugs certifications and determine next steps and she says any relief in what she's calling her hinton lab initiative is only for controlled substances convictions. And if someone was charged with something else along with drug use or possession or whatever the drug charges may have been those charges withstand this would only be drug charges in a particular case and then after that they would look at expunging records. If need be it would be a very lengthy complicated process. So our defense attorneys reacting to this well The aclu the american civil liberties union of massachusetts which was the agency really primarily involved in fighting with the s sjc to try to get some sort of resolution for many of these cases that were based on evidence tested at the hinton lab and at the amherst lab. It says it is. It's pleased that rollins has done. This here is matt siegel whose legal counsel for the aclu of massachusetts certainly would our preference and the preference of the public defenders are law firm partners for all of these cases have been dismissed when we first started calling for that step in twenty twelve. There's a saying about the arch of justice and At this point were very glad that seems to be bending in the right direction. I think as referring there to the you know the arc of the moral universals long but it bends toward justice but regardless also the State criminal defender agency. The committee for public counsel services released a statement after They heard about rachel rollins initiative the hidden lab and it also said that. It's pleased that this is happening. And it hopes that other district attorneys will do the same. So will they deb. Do you think we'll other. Da's follow suit. And i guess. I'm wondering if somehow this forces their hands if they have to. Now i don't think anyone necessarily
Kurt Becker's Stroll Through Racing History: Grindstone
"Only made six career starts but one of them resulted in a victory in the kentucky derby and burst onto the racing. Cd twenty five years ago this month with a win in the louisiana derby. His name was grindstone. A foal from the first crop of nineteen ninety kentucky derby winner dreidel rhinestones was owned and bred by lexington kentucky. Native william tian in the name of his overbrook farm center d wayne lukas grindstone raced twice as juvenile before undergoing surgery for a bone chip in a knee. But after a seven month layoff. He returned to the races with a runner-up relation allowance company at santa anita in february of nineteen ninety-six to start his three-year-old campaign. Despite having made just three career starts grindstone went to new orleans on march seventeen for the great three louisiana derby at a mile and a sixteen despite having nothing more than a maiden special weight victory to his name. Rhinestone was dispatched the two to one second choice behind local favorites arbs magic and it was arbs. Maverick stood and rhinestones way in the final furlong. Tony bentley had. The call takes me puts up. Magic hangs on the inside but it will be grindstone with the lead and sar magic. Grindstone when bill. Louisiana derby by war with terry daily with these victory that day grindstone was now part of discussions for the upcoming kentucky derby but he was lightly raced and no winner of the louisiana derby had won the kentucky. Derby splash gold. In nineteen twenty four grindstone stone would have one more prep race before heading to churchill downs. It would be the arkansas derby on april thirteen. It would be step up to a great two and a stretch out to a mile. An eight rhinestone would enter the starting gate as the eight to five favorite at once again. He would have to deal with the magic in the stretch. Terry wallace brings them home. Describe magic magic comes back. Takes at the magic of turn upset. Rhinestone was only eaten the neck that day but he would be heading to the kentucky derby with a lot of questions surrounding for one thing. Rhinestone had only made five career starts. No horse had won the kentucky. Derby on five starts or less since brokers tip in nineteen thirty-three for another. He wasn't even necessarily the best in these trainers d wayne. Lukas would be sending record. Five horses to the derby and lucas himself was reluctant to rank one above another. As for the rest of the lineup there was unbridled som- who would be the post time favorite. There was avenir from the west coast being trapped by a young trainer. By the name of bob baffert. There were skip away. Who had just set a stakes record in the bluegrass at keeneland. On the first saturday in may nineteen ninety-six. Rhinestone would have to overcome history. He would have to overcome highly talented and more experienced bows and he would have to make a furious. Run in the final furlong. But jockey jerry. Bailey had him in high gear. Dave johnson of abc sports with the goal of cracked late cabinet on the side of town. And here's optima to guide wasn't cabin on the inside was it baby. Mcquaid noted in the top urban grindstone and hit the wire together and it took five minutes for the placing judges to confirm the result of that photo. Finish but the winner of the one hundred twenty second run for the roses was grindstone. As one sports writer. Put it the kentucky. Derby distance is seventy nine thousand inches and by getting his nose in front of the wire grindstone had led only the final four but it was all that he needed five days later. Lucas announced that grindstone had been retired from racing. Following the discovery of another bone chip in the colts need may grindstone the first horse and seventy years to be retired immediately following win in the kentucky derby but he also has become the first horse in seventy two years to win both the louisiana derby and the kentucky derby he had won the first million dollar kentucky derby in history he had given lucas consecutive win and a triple crown race and he had made. Wt young kentucky derby winning owner and brief. I was never proud to stand next to mr young said lucas. Adding this is absolutely the happiest. I've ever been in my life. As a stallion grindstone would become the sire of belmont winter bird stone and the grand sire of classic winners mine that bird and summer bird following his stallion career in kentucky he would relocate to oregon and twenty ten where he would sire more stakes winners in the pacific northwest but the legacy of brian stone began twenty five years ago. This month with a win in the louisiana derby.
The Biden administration has reached out to North Korea, seeking to prevent further escalation
"Says he's been trying to contact North Korea since February, but there's been no response. A senior officials had. The White House has attempted to reach Pyongyang in several different ways to try to prevent a possible escalation in tensions, Laura Becker reports. State media in Pyongyang has yet to acknowledge the new U. S. President Joe Biden has an end to fill policy to view on North Korea, which will be unveiled in the next month. Donald Trump's efforts included three high profile meetings with Kim Jong UN but failed to persuade him to give up his nuclear weapons. The U. S Secretary of state Antony Blinken. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin are on their way to talk you and saw this week we're Pyongyang's arsenal is expected to be high on the agenda.
Ends with Joe MacLeod
"We have no vocabulary for endings. We have so much rich emotional vocabulary for beginning nothing for endings and that was the start of the question around closure experiences so anybody row forward a few years and it's always been in the background this whole closure experiences thing i did. I wrote a document for a big company about the time was well received but didn't really dig into the essence in the background and history so much so surface thing and then i was asked to for many years and it just keeps coming up a repeat repeats of examples all like lack of endings samples about something. We're talking about clothes your experience now with in a in a digital. Yeah so it was a couple of examples so the amount of times we get pushed to share for example. If i'm getting three million face at my phone the camera mode take a picture cher and then not get into gallery in share of into gallery nominee gallery browsing share and then in our social media when we look at the news the amount of share but un's indifferent share platform. So you might have a new thing. You might have ten for example opportunities of different providers to share your content. Share this but a news share share share everywhere and the ability for us to control their after we've shared is so so limited and it's so difficult for us to unravel sharing and control sharing and unsure for example so we end up with mechanisms or like very inadequate mechanisms like the european directive. On roy to be forgotten which puts expectations on providers to control content. That's been shared like facebook or twitter. Or someone like that but even in facebook's ts and cs they clearly acknowledged that they have no control over this stuff. Once it goes outside of their borders is even hard to control inside the a really good point. The whole the whole fabric of the internet is based on attorney. Yes we're gonna talk technical libby. Technically about your eyes or resource locator. It's not the whole whole specification for that says that you should never have page not found a four zero four. Yeah yeah should always redirect to tell people how to continue how things than live on and even if you go back as far as the birth of internet the internet project the which the american army investigator the very purpose of that the mental was. This can't be destroyed or a nuclear weapon. Mirrored in other places on every level. We've got intolerance of endings or just denial of ending although the desire to be a tunnel built into the fabric single level. This whole cultural piece a whole psychological peace enclosure experiences around like we have a natural repulsion against death as you can imagine. There's a book by ernest. Becker called the denial of death and in that he points out that we all have a repulsion of death he called it terror management theory where in subconscious way we're all trying to cheat the long of the inevitability of death so win so we buy things we produce things. We make things that are going to outlive us. You could argue on having kids but another level was things that we may and we think kenner outlive this on making a book for its own law. Like something not make sculpture. You might have a passionate view about some sort of roy in your country. It's loss aversion as well isn't it of course not just not death. I mean we've got that inbuilt mechanism to to to not want to lose things whether it's lose money on the stock exchange or wherever it is kind of to your wallet or lose a loved one Absolutely and that's often stronger than a desire to to make things sometimes so you report death more than you are to gain in other
Valve Faces Lawsuit Over Allegations of High Steam Prices
"Gamer bus. Who claims valve is abusing. Its market dominance to keep prices high. Also name some other companies in this lawsuit basically. It's the lawsuit. Is claiming that valve is using its monopoly on pc gaming marketplace's to force developers to sell their games on all other digital storefronts at the same price as are offered on steam. The loss the suit says that the most favored nations provision in the steam distribution agreement in which seller greaves. Give a client in this case steam. The best term that it makes available anywhere else means that any other store fronts like becker. Microsoft cannot compete on price in are not basically available to compete at all and i do. We definitely see that. We see two or three times a year. We see a huge steam sale. Meanwhile on all these other platforms maintaining the price. Tim sweeney There was
Kim Jong-un Opens Party Congress With Admission of Failures
"Jong Eun, has acknowledged his country's economic difficulties in a speech opening the ruling Workers Party Congress. Mr Kim said the most recent five year plan fell extremely short of the party's goals. With the latest for US Laura Becker. Reports from Seoul, Kim Jong until delegates that his economic goals had gone unfulfilled on the country's mistakes had to be boldly admitted. He emphasized the state message of self reliance, but it's unclear how he will overcome one of the country's bleakest years in decades. North Korea has kept its borders closed to prevent the spread of covert 19. The blockade has caused trade with me and ally and neighbor China to plummet by our own 80% devastating typhoons and floods have damaged homes and crops on the country remains under strict international sanctions. World needs from
The Container Concept with Cas and Dawn
"I'm here with my friends. I can actually say that now. 'cause i know you guys like in real life my friends don and cast and i've already given my little spiel at the beginning before we're getting started but i just have to say that we had so much fun when we worked on this project. Take your house back which everybody can go find it. Take your house back dot com. It was just a lot of fun. Although i was just informed by both douyin casts that they had a lot of fun when i wasn't there so i'm choosing to not be hurt and offended by that as well. We did but more fun with you bear. Oh we would have liked to be there. I heard that you cried member. Didn't y'all say that all right there. I talk non stop and somehow i talked my way into my childhood issues and then i started sobbing port. Daud she's just like. I am not a therapist. Could you be quiet. Now i could. That's just me. And then that's on film because i want to hear the whole okay. We won't make you do it today but okay. So why don't you guys go ahead and introduce yourself and just kind of tell us what you do online and then we'll get into your own personal slob story don when she while. I'm dawn from the minimum. If we haven't met before. I married to tom. We have four kids ages. Six through eleven. Now and iphone minimalism about six years ago. Because i you know. I just felt like there had to be a way to stay on top of your house and still like pursue some kind of outside either happier working right. I'm when they're just has to be away. And so i was just trying. I was just trying everything. And finally i listened to a podcast by joshua becker who is a well known west end. He's just like did you know you don't have to have all of this stuff like that. Was my lightbulb moment. And he went on to give permission to get rid of it. And i pretty easy sal. Like i'm not gonna lie about that. And so i'm always like well. You don't have anything to lose so Next year we got rid of about eighty percent of our stuff. I did not invite tom into the process until i was about. Seventy percent of an is focused on my own stuff in the kids staff But i couldn't believe how it transformed our house and it truly made it a place where i could keep it picked up and stay on top of it still feel like i was doing a good job as a mom and get to start a blog and do some of that stuff that i was interested in and so now out on youtube inci luxury and videos to With just tips and tricks to help you. Simplify your house quickly. Got to read. Dina's book this past summer With another group of women and as we dissolve to cutting at the speed of light. We're to salt lake. This woman gets it and we had so many of the same ideas. I have some different terms for them. But i felt like we could be best friends and just felt like i finally got someone else who the normal systems didn't work for me in. Identify ordina dana. Either so i thought we could be friends and that's how we ended up. Actually we ended up meeting. We're at a conference a year ago. Yup you're ish ago. Something like that. A fault fall of nine. And we're in a took a random picture. And i put it on instagram and people were like oh my goodness. It's the two of you altogether and we were like who. Who are you talking about. I don't even who. Yeah you are with dana for us outcomes clean like and i had to look up and see which one you that was me too. I was like what are you talking about like like i should know this anyway. That's how we ended up. Connecting was was my listeners. Your youtube watchers saying you two are my favorite people and the other person that i hear about all the time from my listeners. And my readers casts. Hi thanks for having me. I'm cast from clutter bug on the mom of three kids. My oldest is fourteen which makes me feel so old and then my middle is twelve and my little guy is eight and my story sounds so much like both of your stories. I was always a messy person. I mean i was that kid who had rotten food my desk at school. I was the kid who's locker was filled with crumpled papers and a complete disaster. You couldn't walk in my room. I just always thought that. I was born messy and when my first daughter was born knows like i want to be a stay at home mom so bad so badly and my husband's like al what we have to still have two income swabs like i'm gonna run a daycare. I had nine children in this home daycare. And i'm a slob and their toys everywhere and it looked like toys r. Us at vomited. And i felt like all i did all day was clean and it was never clean and so i just fell. There must be something. Fundamentally wrong with me is doesn't take brains. This doesn't take like how come i can't do. This and i felt it was depressing. Let's just the way it was. And i was watching at. Tlc and peter. Walsh came on the tv. He had a show called cleaned sweep and he was talking about different organizing techniques and taking out of the house and letting go of like fifty percent of your stuff and i was like. I'm i'm going to give this a try again. And what i found was my brain doesn't organiz the way. It looks like on tv and other people organize
Big Oil Evaded Regulation And Plastic Pellets Kept Spilling
"Of tiny plastic pellets have been spilling into oceans and rivers the world over where birds and fish eat them. They are the building blocks of all plastic melts. Three hundred fifty of them. You get a yogurt cup thousand. Get you a water bottle. But an npr pbs frontline investigation found. The oil and plastic industry has long known there an environmental problem. Npr's laura sullivan brings us this story. About how the oil and plastic industry evaded regulation despite decades spills. You probably haven't spent a lot of time standing on train tracks looking at your feet or looking at the edge of a highway outside a plastic manufacturer. But if you did. There's a good chance you'll see them little plastic pellets. This is kocsis creek. In looking at fresh pellets that has fallen out of the turks. Ronnie hammer is standing on state road. Thirty five in southeast texas rising four square miles behind him as the petrochemical plant formosa plastics. There're not just here. They're over there. They're in portable alaka. You're gonna find them down the road not an anti plastic environmentalist. He's a former supervisor. Who worked at formosa for twenty five years. And while he worked there he says he was told to cover up spills of plastic pellets. I won't do to put down the phone number. You know what i'm saying. They want to keep it low. So so you lie. That's my job. This britain butter so i got to do what they say. You got a family. What's striking about standing outside formosa and finding pellets. A hundred yards from the plants edge. Is that last year. Formosa agreed to pay fifty million dollars to settle a lawsuit in which it agreed to zero discharge of pellets. And yet here they are and down in the creek where the plant drains thousands more a federal judge called formosa a serial offender. Formosa says it's working to improve its containment systems but formosa is just one of thousands of companies that either make or use plastic pellets in the united states. The oil and plastic industry says it doesn't have a problem. Officials told me formosa was simply a quote bad actor while leading companies like exxon and chevron recently told shareholders that their dozens of facilities worldwide the either lose not a single pellet or just to sandwich bags full. And here's how they say they've done thanks again for signing onto operation operation. Clean sweep is a voluntary program. The industry came up with in nineteen ninety-one companies that join watch videos and promised to keep pellets from spilling plants trucks ships and railcars. There's no data required no numbers nothing public. The operation clean sweep is truly making a difference together. We can achieve zero pellet flake and powder the industry says it's been a success. Pellet containment is incredibly important to our members. Steve russell was until recently the vice president of plastics. For the american chemistry council jointly runs the program. Nobody wants plastic in the environment. And if a spill happens and if we're gonna assume it's an accidental release then it will be reported and remediation steps can be taken for most. Isn't clean sweep member. So i asked to former workers an ronnie hammer about it. I have no idea what jeevan talking about. I've never heard of. There's evidence the industry does in fact have appellate problem recent spills on beaches in louisiana and south carolina and studies show pellets are contaminating killing birds and fish and carrying toxins through rivers. There's no evidence. The industry has known about this problem. All along in two thousand five industry participated in a study of ten pellet plance it found pellet washed away in heavy rain at every single facility and called operation clean sweep inadequate but even long before that there's a memo buried inside thousands of documents. Leftover from old industry lawsuits. It was written in march. Nineteen ninety-one the industry's trade association warns top executives from chevron dow dupont and others that the epa had recently found pellets to be quote ubiquitous in the environment regulation. Permits are likely coming. The memo says unless act quickly it may still be possible to institute voluntary programs to address the pellet issue it says unless this occurs. It is likely. Epa will act independently then just four months later. We developed a program that was called operation. Clean sweep lou. Freeman was a vice president at the time for the trade association then called the society of the plastics industry. I don't recall any discussions about quantitatively measuring the success of the program. It was being measured really about who is participating not what the results were. So is a voluntary program. Yes without any metrics. Yeah i would like to think that they were also doing it because it was the right thing to do. But it also be naive. If i didn't think that much of the motivation was was governed by keeping the regulators offer back today the epa doesn't regulate pellets and in the almost thirty years since the agency told npr. It has brought just ten clean water act enforcement cases against facilities accused of spilling pellets. But how would anyone really know if pellets wurley if you head down to the gulf of mexico pellet manufacturers like chevron phillips say they're not I can tell you that it's not a problem here. At chevron phillips we have almost no kellett's leaving our sites. Jim becker is the vice president of sustainability for chevron phillips he met me in a warehouse after plant officials showed me ponds and drains. They said catch all the pellets. You've heard a little bit about operation. Clean sweep we've been practicing that Since the company was formed having no that that you had almost no hell it's leaving your site. I feel i feel confident. We have multiple layers of protection to prevent that without any data. It's hard to know. But then you could go look hacksaw some and if you're gonna hunt pellets a mile up texas bite. You're gonna wanna bring diane wilson the woman who tracked formosa's leaking pellets for five years.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Guess This is just my personal view, but I would see discipline. As. I see the person that you could be or as a parent, I see the person that I am trying to raise you to be. And you're making decisions that are that are not in line. With. That vision whether it's division that you have shared with me of who you want to be or it's a vision as apparent as what I, what I hope for you and want for you. So discipline is a means of correcting behavior to arrive at that point of. So it's meant to grow you and move you in the right direction rather than simply. Getting you to obey rules or a code of behavior. So the way that I was you discipline and maybe it's just semantics at that point. But I I really do think there's a perspective shift between getting someone to just obey rules in play and play ball. Versus someone who is seeing saying? The decision is made hurt us. Yeah and it's not in line with who you shared with me that you want to be or who who you are striving to be. And God is calling you to be. This 'em. So we're GONNA do this thing whatever the discipline is in order to get you in the right direction and help help you see the error or understand the consequences of your actions. If that makes sense I could yeah I, could see that for sure. I smart. Idea so it's supposed to be but I don't think in I think in practice unfortunately. Confuses. Go Away. So all right. So let's talk about for specifically the church. What Disciplined looks like so there are there's a whole chapter specifically Chapter Seven that is on it pages, eleven pages fifty, six to sixty seven This is back from two thousand ten I didn't have the latest one we do know that you can google when you talk online yeah, and you didn't have. Internet at the time. So I was I'd used the the physical copy that I had. Nothing much changed anything like feeling it hand you know. The real book you know it's twenty twenty everyone's getting their next goal in their. Of It, yeah I feel the texture. The binding. What's all about So they're they're thirteen reasons and it's basically the same I I. I, it has not changed. So I kept it thirteen hundred thirteen reasons why? Yes it would be thirteen reasons why thirteen reasons that you could are thirteen actions that you would look at for disciplines. So the first one is a denial faith you specifically you know are you know denying that Jesus exists for the Church or whatever. So to now fate? A. Violation of God's law and here it's I specifically referring to like the Commandments. that type of thing specifically adultery breaking out of the seventh commandment sexual abuse, any type of sexual abuse. Remarriage after divorce physical violence. fraud or embezzlement is probably a better term. but any type of and business. Disorderly conduct. Participation in a disloyal movement or organization that was interesting. persistent disobedience of Church Authority. The use manufacture or sale of alcoholic beverages the US manufacturer sale of tobacco in any of its forms and the use manufacture or distribution of elicit drugs, and those are the thirteen. Yeah, and and just so we're clear with discipline here. There are two main forms of what that. Looks like the. Esscalation and it's kind of a hit which means that for some of the quote smaller stuff The it's gotta get to it's gotta get to a certain point. So there is a there is a kind of assumed process where people will follow like Matthew Eighteen for example of talk talk to a brother.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Hello and welcome to absurdity where we discuss all things absurd in religion, culture and Society Tony are sitting in my finally finished. Space so Hansi several several dollars of investment went into this I don't want to talk about how much I just don't painful because I'm in debt. I'm not in debt because of this. However, I am in my debt has been perpetuated. For Shaka's. This is money. That didn't go to paying off. into finishing my space, but I'm finally like really happy with with this room, and I don't really have any pain points with it so Yeah, no I'm thrilled you would not graduate from financial. Peace, university right so I'm just saying no, you've. Accurate because my credit cards aren't cut the it's. It's wild, too, because you can, you can be talking out in the hallway and if you're if you talk as you enter the room, your voice like mutes it just. It just like Yep and you're like whoa and kind of closes A. It's actually a little unsettling I once you're. It's like the opposite of the Thunderbird Dorm Room. Correct. In your voice gets like a thousand times louder any. A new apartment now that. Now that no one does carpeting, oh goodness. My House is that way my house would just like. Because I marble marble marble floors, I had tile, flooring and Yeah, you, you. Could I mean it was just. There was no baffling at all, so yeah, no, that this. This is something I've been working on forever and look pro to you if you're doing youtube or you're doing Are you wanting to do podcast stuff? The bulk of your money if you have a thousand dollars to spend, which most of us don't, but if you did. eight, hundred of it or legend is eighty percent of what you spend should be on room. Treatment and twenty percent should be on the microphone because your room. Honestly you put a super nice microphone in a kitchen, and you're gonNA or a bathroom, and you're GonNa hate your life but you put a bad microphone and a well-treated room or even a closet, and you're going to be happy or way happier, so the the room matters more than the microphone and I wish I had learned that sooner but but now we know now. We know PSI plus I have. I have really bad issues with gear gearless. So if I see something, I want it That's why stopped doing photography now. I do videography which is not better. Tube so yeah now, that's much worse On that note, if you are interested in seeing some of the supplementary content, I do to the podcast than you head over to my Youtube Channel juicers for Ryan, Becker and started that up about a couple of months ago, and that's been going really well I'm well on my way to being able to monetize that bad boy with I need a thousand subscribers I'm almost four hundred currently in just two months and I need four thousand watch hours, and I'm almost two thousand so I'm getting there and in two months like honestly in two months like that's really good. I'm super like happy about it, but. so. I don't know if anyone has been paying attention for the last I. Don't know ever forever all of time. Really much I mean yeah, Started existing. Have you absurd? Listeners but? People Open Your eyes people. There is a giant on. The fact that well not for very long, but which by the fact that how absurd and Ironic, it is any Christian to call anyone else sheep. Yeah, I, on, ironically, no, yeah, like like you. If you talk about the sheep and the wolves you're not..
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Made up by his daughter and others, and even the members say I don't believe it. He was such a good pastor. He would never do this. What is it in our hearts? That makes us act so. Inconsistently? Regarding this stuff, because if it was pastor, we didn't like. We'd be all over it as far as reacting and calling for him to resign and calling for repentance, true repentance and sacrifices a result like. We would be all over that, but when it comes to someone we like. It's a lot harder and I understand that it's harder. my concern and the reason we're talking about. This is because it's going. It's setting a dangerous precedent already has to be honest that it's going that that is paved the way for more destructive leaders in the future, and it's not just on Ravitch's hands. It's on hours for not holding them accountable. We can't do anything about and now. We really can't because he's not around to respond by we. Can't do anything about. Him. he's, he's created all we can do. Is respond and shoes. Choose the best way to move forward. That's all we can do. Get Because relatives I mean you can't make anybody repent like it has to be has to come from them. You can put them in a position, and this is kind of the whole point of like when someone sends, and they won't listen to the church. You you you will remove them or let them choose their centers. You're centrally saying I we're going to. Show you what you're giving up because you're choosing something contrary to this biblical covenant. Community and worked, and that's exactly it is. It's a covenant community you have agreed to. CERTAIN STANDARD And one. You continually say hey I'm. I'm going to break that standard. You have to let that you have to because, and the reason for it is is literally the people that come behind. 'cause that's I. Mean ultimately that's the big questions should. Being good at what you do, outweigh what you did to get there. No I M personally my mind. No just being good at what you do shouldn't outweigh what you did to get there I in general If what you did to get, there was unethical in its own right like no I. Don't think that's the case. However there is there is a caveat there's no absolutes here. Mostly, only cith deal in absolute. Get, Kinda SORTA deal and absolutes. Which is the case of? Well, which is the case of someone like me Yeah And don't know one freak out and do anything unethical. Relax You're ninety Becker. You know I, am not actually even listening. This is Tony and he's Ryan Gotcha. Gotcha. No my mom had a position of leadership in our denomination, both at a state level, and just as a principle of my accounting me, growing up, and as in high school, and there were there were things that I was privileged to be able to do conversations. I was privileged to be a part of at CETERA. That that normally there are others would have had to work harder to get there or whatever and I was able to strong or others wouldn't even. My Age would have been able to even be in the room. There are times where I've. I've started off with a head start because people know my mom versus versus someone who has no connection. Right and so the the difference there is that I didn't do necessarily anything to get there. Rather all I did was except opportunities as they were presented, but then being good at what I did with what I was given with that privilege. An seeking to create opportunities for others that came after me. That does outweigh all of that in other words, if you're going to get something by by privilege than at least. You don't keep the position. That! You have or you don't keep the things that you've gotten. If you're bad at it. I was I was talking about this with ago from the other day. How how do you deal with privilege because it's not like we don't? The tourists were talking like we don't WanNa. Take it away from these other people we were discussing. some co workers that she had that. Just very young and given a leadership position. You know at a very young age. And it says the responsibility of those white privilege to try to make everything easier. For the people around the take that time. And Opportunity. To pave the road for the people who didn't get to start out, you know. Get that head. Start I think that's what we have to. That's what we have to do. When when confronting and that's why whenever I've had the platform that I've had. Like I've sought to I mean. I. Was I had a college student? living with me for a summer mentoring him in church, leadership and pastoral leadership. I've helped countless podcast. Get started in help. People build platforms of their own like that's what you do. I'm not saying like oh I'm a saint. I'm not saying, but you wanna you WANNA versus. I didn't get it and say. You pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Yeah, exactly I worked hard and I do work hard, but that doesn't but how I. Respond with the opportunities given to me or to the opportunity given to me. And what I do with that responsibility well and I think that's that's why we need to be so careful with Ravi because..
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"So that we can do this, and of course Becker, and thank you for you know walking through all this together and and it's still fun. You know it's still razor. It stays fund you. We want to make sure it stays that way. Listen just go ahead and listen to this conversation and then go back and listen to the last. Last episode we did with Matt Luzio where matinee time about burnout, and listened to that entire hour of conversation, the energy level. The excitement like were we were done. Yeah, we believe that doing his own thing for shows Yeah it. It needed to happen to thank you for your patience, and to those of you who use the website and submitted some feedback yes, in. Of Encouragement. Thank you to those of you. Who did that. That meant a lot. It's always nice for me. I've always felt like I've always felt like my purpose kind of the overall goal with everything that I do whether it's career or side hustle, or whatever is that I'm equipping and empowering dental to become. Who got his call them to be absolutely and if I'm. I'm doing podcasting. That goal is in mind, and if I feel like that's not happening and I'm just speaking into the air and I'm not actually no one is being empowered that I'm wasting my time and effort it just so I'm someone who actually does need the feedback to keep going right. Yeah, no, some sand. I don't think it's vein to ask for that. Either but I also your listeners. You're the ones giving us of your time, and you know over over over a month or each week. You're giving us so much of your of letting us into your life. Yeah, so you have every right to give us feedback, constructive feedback at suggest episode, ideas and topics, and and let us know what you want to hear US talk about even if it's a topic, we've already covered. You say you don't can you? What about this there was? was. Actually one suggestion that was great and it's on our episode list as one we'll be recording soon about a form of privilege that we haven't covered yet There's there's quite a few episodes suggestions that we have to to that. We sort through and we're going to be doing and I'm excited to cover those in excited to do content and create content that you as the listener are asking for and that I've have said yes, this would be beneficial to me. so yeah, that's what we're. That's what we're here to do is ultimately to serve into create and create something that makes. Makes your life and the lives of those around you a little bit better, yeah? So yeah, that's so that's kind of the overall plan. We're GONNA continue trucking on June one. There will be a full length episode sending and with that go check out the podcast network. Go check out the new YouTube Channel and by new Youtube Channel. I mean just Youtube Channel that I v Youtube. CIA finally started a posting videos to. My students about it so long to finally have is like Ha Yup so my channel and the link is in the description as well and just thank you so much for your support through now At you and wouldn't be here without you. So you know share this podcast with your friends as we pick back up and we'll see you on June one yeah..
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Is that he was jogging neighborhood. near his home and there was a two men one a former police officer and his son. Travis a Jordan Travis McMichael and George Michael recognized him as a burglary burglary suspect from From a few nights prior having stolen eighth I think a pistol from his car or his truck No confirmation that that was arbitrary. You just said are running and said that's the guy who is you know and he's running and so he went and got his got his son. They grab their guns. They hopped in the truck with a neighbor and or with a couple trucks with neighbor in and they quite literally like chased him down. They ask them to stop. He said no essentially he kept going. And so then The truck pulled ahead of him and Travis Scott of the truck with his shotgun armory runs around the truck and to get the drop on Travis in that moment and in the ensuing tackle or in the ensuing struggle for the shotgun. Arboretum shot a total of. I think three times the first one through his hand the other two absolutely are actually fatal and he dies face down in the street and there is a video of this. So very twenty. Three's when that happened A twenty four The DA or Barnaul says that there is no grounds for an arrest. Re Twenty seven The Da for the Brunswick Georgia Judicial Court. Jackie Johnson recused herself from the case citing the fact. That robbery McMichael not. George Gregory McMichael is a former investigator with her office and then in early April barnhill himself recusals And then on April thirteen. Tom Durden is appointed on April. Twenty Nine Glenn County requests that the Georgia Bureau of Investigation or the G B I To e he asked them to investigate and then on May five. The video surfaces ironically released by the neighbor that they recruited with them thinking that this would exonerate all of them right. Yeah video releases to a news network. That News Network put makes it public And once that was in the public spotlight abby. This just took off. I mean within thirty six hours I think. Yeah within thirty six hours of the video essentially going live or at least with the with the with a G. B. I looking into the release of the video itself The McMichael's were arrested. So may five the video services and Tom durden recommends. The case be presented before a grand journey jury for criminal. Charges may six the investigation officially launches May Seven. Mcmichael's are arrested and may eight bond was denied to the McMichael's In in court and it was is weird seeing them appear like over video All Weird but So to give a couple more facts here Travis McMichael's father told the responding officer A. J. Brand Berry. Rb caught their attention because he resembled a man accused of a rash of residential break INS. He said they decided to grab their guns and chase him. Here's the funny thing this is. These are some of the details we're GONNA get into the Brunswick News reported that one burglary was reported in the area from the start of Twenty Twenty. Two the day armory died. The sole items stolen was a gun from Travis. Mcmichael's unlocked pickup truck hilarious. Like you're gonNA look at a man who doesn't have the same look who stands out to you because he's running in a neighborhood that's predominantly white and you're going to say that man you're GonNa try and blame him as A. You know accused him of a rash of of break INS. And what's been amazing is ever since this shooting. It's not amazing. We've watched this play out over and over and over again right. Yeah is that basically now. Everyone's trying to dig into arteries pass to try and his past actions that day. Frying to essentially find a reason that justifies the McMichael's shooting after the fact. And they're trying to do so like any evidence.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Then thirteen minutes which you know what I mean. There's so many things well. This is true mental to them. I'm not saying that this is good or right. I'm not saying that but it's like if that's the reason why while you're getting angry is to say that all were we're only saying. The women are empowered for that. Okay are we paying women scientists. Yeah I mean. Scientists are still getting paid seventy percent like they're still in. I mean I think we're we're not so I think your point is dead on. Why are we talking about Demi Lovato? Oh yeah why are we talking. You positive things to write. Why are we? Why are we only spotlighting this stuff and a granted? I get that the Super Bowl halftime show itself is spotlighted but so is the national anthem but no one talks about that. Like I just it just yeah. It makes me angry because what it does is it tells me how thinly veiled the sexism. Actually he is. That's what it does to me and so franken. Graham had a really big reaction to this. I'd use that because I was about got to come after Franklin Graham next so yeah so And you can read the actual quote if you want. I'm just going to kind of bring this up. Basically he criticized it and it's the the main points that I said. Oh you know it's failing millions of kids all this type of stuff. Franklin Graham in trying to be a moral arbiter and saying that this is disgusting. Supports a man who cheated on his nude model fourth wife while she was is pregnant with her son with a porn star and paid hush money to cover it up. That's what's more Franklin Graham's moral high ground that's the mountain that he has locked himself onto to then look down upon these women and say shame on you now whatever else he says I just want you all to understand this that this man has said and that is perfectly fine for the president whose amazing how the United States to get away with that behavior and for him to hire a lawyer who Who went on a public a public parade with his mistress by his side while his wife was is fighting cancer? Okay understand that regardless of where your politics lie understand from a moral moral stand point. This is where Franklin Graham has said. I'm fine drawing the line here. Now that being said Becker wooded what did Franklin Graham have to say facebook. I don't expect the world to act like the church but our country has had a sense of moral decency on prime time television in order to protect children to point out that the show Lucifer is on prime time television. Anyone can watch the show supernatural. Oh is on primetime. Television Riverdale is on Primetime Television Net flicks Riverdale is is CW. You're right Friends is on was on primetime television for a long time Just just pointing that out. Starting interrupt continue. We see that disappearing before our eyes it was demonstrated tonight in the Pepsi. Super Bowl halftime show with millions of children. Children watching this exhibition was Pepsi. Showing young girls. That sexual exploitation of women is okay with the exploitation of women on the rise worldwide. Instead of lowering the standard we as a society should be raising it. I'm disappointed in Pepsi and the NFL K.. Here's why this bothers me because I don't I cannot. I mean aside from aside from what you've just shared which yes that bothers me. What bothers me is? I have no idea what efforts Franklin Graham Graham is actually putting in to protect women or to to raise the standard for women. Or you know what I mean like to actually empower uplift and create equality in that sense. There's nothing I see doing that. In fact I see him. Doing is empowering and enabling the exact opposite to happen and then he's going to say shame on Pepsi and the NFL. For Um I'm for allowing this to happen while he directly supported and endorsed and used his entire platform as an evangelist. In a in the most probably the most most famous evangelist in modern history. using that platform earn that name to do so right that to me doesn't like like I'm not okay with that. A but be millions of children are not just watching the super bowl halftime show. They're watching everything else. Play out and to me like outside of that and I think there are more. There are more things that are having a greater impact on on them. They're not And One and I'm just going to jump to this because I think this is. This is a point that I wanNA make anyway. One of the facts like straight straight up one of the facts in is that around major sporting events like the super bowl like the NFL finals like the world series. Whatever one of them a all star game up up one of the major spikes In in crime is around human trafficking. It's huge.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"James McDonald Mark Driscoll or any of these other pastors noble on their on their issues before they became what they it became. So we don't actually know we can't confirm it. We're not saying we know. But we're saying that conflict confrontation improper conflict-resolution can ride into those areas and other words. You're you protect victims and you protect the offender from becoming an offender like that's the thing is a protects everyone it protects you potential victims and potential offenders. That's who it that's what I would. I would even say on a not a lighter example but maybe a less intense example is what's kind of going on right right now with he'll sign united Did you read the article that they wrote About how like. They're all struggling. wrote an article. And this may be even be a topic for another Episode but kind of this article about how. They'd kind of lost all their spirituality like they didn't they burned out. They didn't WanNa do it anymore. they were Kinda. Just doing it for You know the the rhythm of it more than anything else. They didn't really believe in it anymore. And I think even that's that's a situation that while there were no real victims other than the people themselves someone in that situation I think that's one that could have been avoided waited with good conflict resolution by stepping up. And saying hey guys this is an okay Example withdrawal with that as you look at Now I don't know if they if it happened again but all my goodness they did Garden new debris right with need to breathe like need to breathe was confronted by someone this. Hey you guys are not living Christian life and they went out and publicly apologize and they were like hey warrior rain circles. We're doing this tour. Sure we were not living in Christian life and we want to Polish that now whether that was sincere or not but that's an example of like. Hey they were able to stop it. They will keep doing Their Music Zik and not getting burned out and not get to the point where they felt like Oh. This is a farce because someone was able to step up so I think there's a lot of advantages to to having that level. I mean again you know I don. I can't use personal examples because I don't don't WANNA put people on blast but I mean I can you and I have how many mutual you know X.. Pastors that we know of that had people confronted them. Who knew about the situation and you know what I mean like now? It's it's just become a whole thing you know we. There was a situation I think a couple of months ago that you and I were talking about because and just it came from it. Came from it came from a place where nobody was willing to confront this person especially the people closest to them. I mean I can't even other another one a few months ago and I'm being intentionally vague but it's like there were like two or three. I think that popped up like in the same area in the same time because people weren't able to confront someone and say you are doing things that are not okay. And and I think having healthy talking thing about healthy conflict-resolution Talking about obviously the logistics of Matthew Eighteen. You know we're not knocking being matthew eighteen. We think that's a good model. I think that's a good model. And we'll speak for you becker but I think there has to be some logistics to it and I think that you can even take that model and apply in a way that is is unhealthy. And so you have to be able to train people on how to do this Or get professional help so I here's some to me. I just wanted to some ways that I thought were healthy for Conflict Resolution Becker thrown any that. You want Or and trust me or whatever so A.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Had been mistakenly pronouncing for his entire life Ah Yeah I agree with that is like like it's one hundred percent agree with that. Yeah and I think instead of idea of so sometimes people apologize to either get closure or to like make make right feelings like. I don't like this awkwardness. So I'm going to do this thing to to make things not awkward anymore and it's like no that's not it and I don't think are malicious. I think some people do inappropriate apologies. Oh Jeez for reasons. That aren't malicious just. Don't understand what the purpose of an apologies for Other people do it you know because they on closure they feel guilty like oh man. I don't like this guilty thing so it it's about it becomes solely about them and their feelings and it's not about the other person and I. I really want to be clear here to that in apology. And and I think this was intentional whether we realize it in the moment or not but our definitions of apology excluded. The forgiveness side of it like policy is not based on or should not be nice expectation. Tation an expectation of forgiveness. Yeah an apology is done because you did something wrong and now you're you're making you're attempting to make things right. But in of forgiveness. Business is an entirely separate side of this coin. That is the responsibility of then the other party. But it is not something but it's not what you you can't control that so honestly and honestly there are times when an apology. You have to you know so you can apologize for something that you're not even Needing forgiveness for it's simply a you know what my actions caused her. Yup and I you know that's what I'm apologizing for him. Sorry that this hurts you. Even though I truly did not hurt you know I it. There was no reason for you to need to forgive me But I was a part of this. You know and I'm sorry for that we've been like you know if I were to apologize for my ancestors ancestors you know. I don't need forgiveness Ryan sisters but I do need to apologize for for their bad actions sometimes And in that way you know I am truly so you know. I have a family where well I won't get into necessarily that much. But you know they they might own slaves back in the day and it's like man you know that I I truly am sorry about that because it's terrible it's horrible. It's something that never should have happened. I did not do anything and so it becomes difficult because there are times when you don't even need you to be forgiven but you might still need to apologize and that that is where you need to understand. It truly is not about. It's not about getting something out of it and people who make an appropriate apology. They don't understand that they always are trying to get something out of it. Yup absolutely and to be fair. There are natural byproducts that you do get out of apologizing right like it's not this. This isn't like a a zero benefit game or a lose lose for you but it's understanding that you no longer like you don't in in order to in order to keep up with our nerdy sells like you no longer have the high ground here. You Talk You you don't get to you don't get to dictate the terms anymore out. Underestimate my power packer. You were the Chosen One Don't do it Dan again. So her brother to me Becker. If you're not with me you're my enemy the no no but you don't have you don't dictate the terms anymore and whether you did before you certainly don't now and so I think it is really important to to make that distinction action but I WanNa talk about I do want I do want to talk about the some of the the absurd reasons that we actually do make an appropriate appropriate apologies. And I think over those. Yeah so I think that's good. I think one of the first ones is is using them as an attempt for quick closure closure Or just as a way to make myself feel better because I feel bad that I hurt you instead of you. Know what the definition finish.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"At some point preached a sermon or made a reference about the about the I generation the iphone on the ipod. The I culture in the I you know everything's about me and then I realized that this isn't really a modern thing. No this really is part of the human condition that we do values self preservation and value me above every about above. Everything else like that. Tends tends to be our default setting. I guess we'd love to take the sins of our own generation and then applied to like the principles of what we did in our generation than apply to the new particulars of the following generation. Like as a millennial. I'll be like these stupid talks like we didn't do vines. You know like all all these jealousies and they're dumb tic tacs it's like dude. We had the exact same thing like we. Can you know you can do that within the I'm sure later on when we have you know completely digital phones phones that you just you stick something in your I get a chip implanted in your brain and you tap your forehead and you get a phone We're going to be complaining about this generation like I. I had actually tax with my hands back in the day. You know and we're going to be saying the same things That was specific. That was suspiciously sleaze specific. All of it. I can't tell if you're quoting revelation. I've seen a lot of sci-fi in my teacher I'm very interested. In how many Seifi movies and episodes books I have read in my lifetime. I would. I am thirty anyway but no I think I think that that that idea or that default mode is one of those is is one of the main reasons that we have We've this is what I do. Believe we've built it. Which is we've built a culture that only values apologies in so much as they get me out of my negative feelings faster or they get me out of a negative situation fascination yeah All apologized to a cop. If it means I won't get a ticket all apologize to my significant other and and they'll forgive me really quick and we'll be done right I don't believe I've done anything wrong but I'll apologize anyways just to keep the you know just a just a just to Get past this and it's it is an in some cases. I do think that they're born out of a desire to return to the way things were before but ultimately I do see them like a motivation to make inappropriate apologies specifically typically comes from this selfish desire to get out scot-free or to get out as easy easiest possible right yeah. It's deflection of blame by admitting admitting to some of the guilt. It's a deflection of the blame and a lot of a Lotta in in the you'll often hear from these insincere apologies in these inappropriate apologies reflection of blame Because that's the ultimate purpose of it. It's not to acknowledge or own. The the the blame. It's it's a desire to deflect it and Oh and you know I'll keep saying I'll go through that debris but it's like I I really don't want to get ahead. I WANNA start from baseline. So let's let's talk about this real quick. What would you consider appeared to be an apology? Stores Standard so standard anymore. Let's all right set. The baseline would consider an apology to be Becker. I think I think an apology is a specific thicke knowledge of wrongdoing. On the part of the you know apologizing party and a you know in in an effort to restore a what was broken or right. What was wrong that is so if it was you know? Broken Trust or if I can see that So I don't don't want to say you know they. They're they're usually our goals. In addition to that but ultimately I think at the end of the day you're either trying to write what was wrong. And that is the justice part of of it or you are trying to restore. What was you know what you broke and that is I think those are the two core things that I would say A? Are you know a key components of of an apology of an actual apology. But I don't know what were you differ on that I I mean I would only add that. It's It's that same thing in indulgent of guilt and inexpressible of the desire to never do that again. Oh Yes essentially to me like an apology is if I could go back and not do this. I would never do this therefore I will never do this again. Yep that to me is it true apology On Yeah I can get to me I would just I would just tack that on as as the second part of the apology like the first part is that acknowledgement. Like something has happened. This is my fault And then and then I don't want you know how can we was in the future. I will avoid this in the future. You know this is not going to happen again because if I could go back I would not do this thing Well and and it's acknowledging like not just that I did something wrong but that That what is causing hayme that something happen Suggested I did wrong. Forgive me I did wrong and it hurt you you and that's not okay either. There's two there's two wrongs right wouldn't even. Yeah like I wouldn't even say wrong. I would just say I did this. Like my sins or in actions caused this. Yeah I would agree with that so that that I think is a is a is a decent baseline and the hard thing with defining something like this is it covers over such a wide variety wide wide range of yeah of apologies are of situations to apologize for. And so so you know you've got to find out like are we. What are we apologizing for? I see you know I took a dollar from your purse or I cheated on you my my spouse of thirty years like I. Don't you know like there's there is a very big difference between those two things and the but I think the core of the apology policy is still the same. It's an acknowledgment of an inappropriate action or inaction taken and a desire to Or an expressed desire to in acknowledgment management of what was wrong or what. The person did wrong and an expressed desire to heal what was broken to fix. What was fixed what they broke so oh yeah so the so the flip side would be that an insincere inappropriate apologize would be one? That's more interested in something other than healing that broken relationship and Ryan the wrong. Yep that's that's exactly what does is. Yeah the flip side is is true if one insiders choosing the flip side is also gallery in the other way we going back to high school. Geometry we're talking about the Kerala. Now the chorale are corollary. Harry is what I've heard other people say but I'm pretty sure it's Kerala. Ry You know it truly outing. It was the word that Steve always messed up arth real it tru truly is as an earth real experience. Ethereal is the word that we found out our friends Steve who.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Hey guys it's Tony. I'm here to talk to you about Awaken Conference. Not Awaken is a young adult gathering in Charlotte North Carolina from January thirty first to February. Every second. Two Thousand Twenty. And it's meant to help you recharge your spiritual life and connect with the community that you can grow your faith alongside. Now this US presenters include clued killer lineup with Caleb Eisley of humans of additives and of course a friend of the PODCAST. He's been out of your episodes. Kim Cove a licensed counselor and randy ban and the creative producer at Nike World Headquarters. The keynotes will be brought by Ben Lundquist of the rise and lead podcast a good friend of mine and an an amazing speaker. Trust me guys you will not want to miss out and absurdity will be there so me and Becker You get to see if you come out with love to come and talk to you. We absolutely think that this is something you're GonNa WanNa come and see speaking of if you enter the code absurdity at awaken. NC Dot com that's absurdity AB S U R D I T Y at awaken. NC DOT com. You'RE GONNA get a ten percent discount. We're loved to see so you there. This is absolutely something that we support and we think that awaken is a part of the growing church movement that we WANNA see moving forward once again if view enter code absurdity at a WAKENED DOT com. You'll get ten percent discount off the initial price against their. Today's episode of absurdity is sponsored by the Haystack. The Haystack is a voice for young adults in the seventh day. Adventist Church that produces articles music reviews videos and more to check them out. Go to www dot the haystack. Dot Org the Haystack Life Culture.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"A lot of us aren't used to like strong criticism or harsh rebuke or even difficult conversations with people? Because we're so used to like. I got good grades and I went to college. My teachers guest me up and all that stuff so like not getting employed right away in the seventh avenue. This church was pretty pretty. What was what was like the one of the first time where things didn't play out the way I wanted it? I've had an. I've had few experiences in my life. Where things that didn't play out the way I wanted it so even imagine that there's probably a lot of personal ego? That was at the root of yeah of why I had such a difficult time after graduation so once I sort it all that ego stuff out I was able to take a step back and realize that was in a tremendously blessed opportunity and they had no reason for me to complain. A Wonderful Church community that I'm a part of a lot out of amazing friends like Ryan Becker among is a loser so like I have a wife. I've I am stable. I don't have a lot of a student. Loan debt like there's so much blessing in my life that the particular details of the way that my money is coming to. My pocket doesn't really he matter anymore because I've recognized that yes I am called to Minister But that doesn't always have to look like lake. I've been told that should look like and that. That's okay and again nothing. Mind blowing there. That's not a revolutionary condo wanting to state the fact is of it and it's a whole nother thing to internalize the the the reality of it. Well I think too. There's.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"From the mess that their life is in and they hear you need to start living better instead of a risen? Savior that is is here to rescue you from from the the the mess and community that can that can actually really helped you walk you through it that will walk you through it and And not just give you literature and say goodbye And it's not deny literature. I'm just saying like if that's all you do but that's not gonNA. It's not enough not enough. I've always said that literature ministries are great but it opens doors. That's the purpose of it. If no wins walking through you know what I mean. No one's walking through those doors or following up. Then it's we're just wasting stuff and I think that's the the issue that I have with a lot of times. I'm just a lot of the stuff we do. A lot of the stuff we do ministry In the church as a whole were not even an address. The problems that are there like we're we're we're fixing problems that people don't have I mean they go back to the comment that Markdavis made I guess since we added him on the On the show mark talking about like you know I feel like we're talking about things and bring things you know. No one in my generation's excited about radio is true. I mean radio super super helpful across the world because there are a lot of places that that's still the main you know media tool. But you know virtue podcasts are almost out. You know. Got A resurgence. I was talking talking about this the other week I did. A you know. A was talking to a bunch of friends in Phoenix and the golden age of starting new podcast and being rich off of it as an artist say Dun. We're not like that time's kind of passed But it's still a media that people use and I think people don't realize like in how put radio on the internet or or you know some of this stuff. It's like that time has passed. We're moving to the next big thing. And so with that. I want to announce sat right. Now we'll be starting a tick tock ministry that's right We did it but I think that's the big issue as you are. You know we're we're Hash. Why one of the reasons why I think forty percent of the people that come into our church are leaving adding and one of the big reasons why eighty percent of you know the last two generations have been leaving and the and the current young generation is is? Because we're we're fixing problems that don't exist you know. Well we're we're we're trying to preach preach solutions of problems that like no one is really having. Yeah I mean and it's not something that the message is bad odd or even theologically wrong. It's just not applicable. It's not relevant. Eventually that'll come down the line but you know now it's it's just not something that were not couching it in a way that makes a solution and and I think you know it's interesting so we're talking about you know financially is kind of where we're going with this And so so this is more than just about finances but just finances for this episode. But that's kind of like okay. So okay so Becker would you say on at an average shirt an average symptoms church. Would you say the main ministries and focuses are at. Where would you say that I mean definitely worship. The Worship Service I would argue in a typical adventist. Church you've got men's women's men and women's ministries you've got youth ministry if it exists and Sabbath School. I would argue that. Those are your kind of main functioning. Ones As far as like actual ministries concerned Depending on what your resources have you know you might have evangelism. You might have You know you might have a community service. Gorkhas room is what they usually call them where you have like a mini pantry or something like that. But I'm nothing Those aren't does those tend to be like we do them if it comes up but there's no intentional stuff to really grow it. It's just like we're going to do a canned food drive around Christmas or Thanksgiving and and you know we'll if we hear of a need we'll give we'll give a family a box but there's not really it's about it the okay and I'm talking about typical pickle smaller if you're in a bigger church which I would say two hundred or more I'd even I'd go as low as fifty one hundred but let's just say fifty or more for attending. Then you're you're you're you're not the church I'm talking about though it still may be true for you But those those tend to be the ones that I see the most happening happening And there are GONNA be wrong. There are churches that do some things and even in our even our addition episode. I shared one of my churches. That had done something. Amazing for are had really rallied around to someone and walked through their addiction recovery with them. But what I think is I would. I would argue. That are preaching. Teaching doesn't necessarily lend itself and a lot of our teachings themselves whether it's through the Sabbath School quarterly or so you know in you know Sunday Sunday. I school or anything like that. There's not a lot that seems to really be taught about How to actually and and as part of the church body people in situations like this yes? We are good at answering questions. Don't get me wrong and there and the other thing is I don't want to downplay the significance that that many people have had coming in the doors who have gotten answers to the questions. They've really been asking and and and they've been having problems with the Bible because of these questions and and that's really been stopping them and they come in and they hear this word and and it's been amazing life changing for them like. I'm not saying that our message is completely worthless. I'm just saying that the vast majority of what we do Seems to just kind of hope that none of this ever comes up and when it does come up we just kind of we kind of keep going. You know we just kind of keep doing are things. I'm a church members I I watched this happen. Where a church member basically became came in invalid And was was at home hadn't been to church in years and no one really talked to them and no one really visited them maybe on occasion and and we just kind of the Church's K- kind of kept going you just gotTa keep preaching whatever you're preaching aging and you're just gonNA keep going. Maybe someone goes and takes communion to them. When when we do communion but like you're I mean there's no we just kind of we just kind of pretend like that thing that none of us really know exactly how to fix goes away or is in there and we just kind of continue life as normal and I get that not? Everyone can and feel as one hundred percent can compassionate for forever but I fully understand fully understand Dan that sometimes. We can't feel all the time but it just seems irresponsible to pretend like those problems aren't really there. No I completely understand I've seen that just I don't WanNa say way too often but it happens a lot. I mean it happens. A lot and people slipped through the cracks or not intentional ministry. But I think it's it's that kind of thing where I you know. I've always always felt that churches is something we do. It's a people movement and the problem is we've come to think of it as an organization we've come to think of it as a place as a ritual as event event. Yeah Yeah and I said this time and I get that a ton of young adults and just people have complained about church that way forever but the problem is we've complained about it and it's all the same thing so there's a lot to sing. Nothing has happened troop group but I think for a lot of churches. I you know they don't know another way or there. There's no training to be able to do it. They just like well. This is what we do. Oh you know churches and something you do which is something you are and you know I I mean I've said before you know my vision for for a church is where you have something something. Not everyone shows up to every single thing but you have a church function every single every single night of the week. Yeah every single night of the week. There's something so that if someone is new they. Have you know a way to connect with their church family every single day at every day of their of their week can involve God and Church and Family 'cause I mean life is hard and and we need to be able to do it together other and especially think about people who don't have families you know. I think a Lotta Times. Our church is also focused on the adventist model of with two point. Five key like you went to an address school you so you had church. You know all five days a week or all seven days a week You were involved in Pathfinder's you Went to an adventist college. You you married there you came back you. You can't do a place with adventists young people and you start. A family and church is kind of geared for that but if someone doesn't match that model You can feel extremely isolated yet. We don't even isolated. We don't know what to do. You know someone's in their forties and not married. I mean it's like you know Y- know especially for younger. I think older older adults have a little bit more. Ministries that are geared towards Samuel men men's ministry and things like that but even then it's like you know our elderly. You know a lot of times. We don't have elderly ministries a lot of times. You don't have young parents ministry song as we. You Know Church only works for certain people well and and I would say to like. I'm also. We're not trying to guilt trip like if your if your church is doing what it can. Then it's doing what it can but but to me. I think the other thing is don't worry so much about about quality. Just go just start like intentional about it. As long as you're intentional about it try which means which let me fail. Let's let's let's be. Let's be clear because when you're talking about things like finances or otherwise like there's legal issues there too when we say intentional and do research meet with p Fray to reach tried to reach is the needs of your community in a in a feasible way. Use Conrad Sat and do the research you need to do and partner. With whom ever you need a partner but try and do something the s I would agree with that. I think. Yeah No. Yeah if your church like with addiction even if your church doesn't have an addiction. Ministry for instance like you right. You found You know you found a place that could do it and you know you walked with that individual until they were able to find success so I mean that's the type the.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"They're dead but they you can only forgive someone for what they've done to you so I had to learn that I could forgive him for the pain that he's caused me but I can't for literally. I cannot forgive him for something that he did not do to me the same way I would say you cannot or not kit. Call yourself responsible for decisions. That other people made That had nothing to do with you. Even if you you know if if if if someone decided to take advantage of you you cannot blame yourself for that. I think that's we've talked about that. A little bit modesty culture. Where a lot of there's women who are? There's a lot of people who after something traumatic happens. They'll try and identify the ways that they could have prevented it and like this has to be my fault somewhere because it's this element of Control in addiction. No one has control other than the addiction. And you don't have control over the other person's decisions and so you have to be able to separate what your responsible for versus what they are responsible for. Now if you gave the money and didn't ask you know what it's four and ask for accountability. There you can blame yourself for giving them for giving them money in in with a lack of accountability. You can blame yourself there but you you. It is not your fault. They took that money and did something else with it. Does that make makes sense. So did something unintended with it. That's on them Your responsibility is what is how you give and How you support them and there is a clear line? That's not even a fine line. There is a clear lives between your actions and their actions. You cannot be responsible sensible for their actions unless you involve yourself in their actions that that's the only that's that's my thing to if if there's an alcoholic and I'm inviting. I have alcohol in my house. I'm not inviting that alcoholic over to my house. I'm not putting them in a position or a place where they could be eh where where they're now vulnerable to this issue. I'm not putting them in a place. That apple is like super super super locked up And that's the kind of thing that I'm talking about and I think that's really important for us to to say there is a clear align and you need to be responsible for what you're responsible for any final thoughts. Tony I just you know again a lot of times we WANNA talk About the big stuff. Remember that just because someone's not alcoholic or you know addicted opioids. It doesn't mean that they don't have actions on that they're not struggling with something and those addictions can be just as harmful and so don't be afraid afraid to you know you're talking about you know. Don't invite someone in your house if you have. You know I'll call you know. Don't start up video games from someone you know has no control role or it You know don't don't Someone's shopaholic you know don't asked asked him to give you know. There are a lot of things that you need to be aware of and recognizing that you know educate yourself so you can recognize the symptoms so you can recognize doc nuys. You know those types of things so you can get rid of the stereotypes Like I said we're GONNA put up some links to try to help you with that but Start talking talking about your local church take agency in it And you know. Just beware that if if you are dealing with someone you know in in your personal life that is an addict for believers pray. You know I it's it's a non active active step Prayer just just prayer isn't enough but prayer plus anything is much better So I think that that's always something now. Now my thoughts and prayers while that's not you know awesome personal section But definitely you know doesn't mean kick out the thoughts and prayers Khotso fear believe or. Have those add those to it. That's something you can do in any situation by the way when someone doesn't want your help you can pray for them. Interest prayers right there you know. And they can't stop you outside of literally you know holy your mouth like so You know the that that's something you can do but just you know you're in for the long haul educate yourself try to try to do something and and talk about it. I always say so much addiction in so many. So many Jason La to thrive. Because we simply don't turn the lights on who were just simply be open and honest about a lot of these things? We would not only realize that there are a lot more common uh-huh and and not as big an issue in the sense of they're not this giant shameful. Horrible thing like everyone's dealing with you know I. I thought I was the only one who dealt with a pain in their likely. No we're all dealing with it. Oh so like it so any problems Can Be can be helped. Maybe not solved but at least you know. Put along that journey. If you talk about it and educate yourself you know because really outside of having having expert help those are the two main things that you can you can do along with a Lotta these other steps Great Thoughts Tony cosign hundred two percent the two things I would end on our number one Two weeks ago. I WanNa make this quick clarification. Two weeks ago. We were talking about modesty culture and We brought up an example. All of someone who had shared that they have to they in their family you know they have to flee at at the first sign of arousal and we talked about that being kind of A AH we've talked about that. Being an unpleasant way to live basically and the way the context we talked about that was within the realm of like. It's the woman's fault that you have to flee because of arousal for you but we didn't explicitly say something that I want explicitly say now. We're talking about addiction. If you were the person you know in a position where they need to flee at the sight of whatever they're addicted to please don't make them white knuckle it and please don't white knuckle it if your addiction is bad enough for me with pornography at one point There was a time where I couldn't walk by. Victoria's secret without closing my eyes or intentionally looking away I had to. I had to physically put a put some sort of something between me and right scantily clad women basically And this was. This was a difficulty for me. It was never the woman's fault. It was Mike Issue. So if you were in a position where you need to flee a please flea and if you are a friend and your friend tells you you. Hey we're in a place. I'm not okay right now. Can we leave you leave. I don't care if you already spend money at the bowling alley. I don't care if you already spent money doing the thing that you're doing leave. Don't don't make them white knuckle the movie that had something really inappropriate like if if your friends addiction or your addiction is is you know not not more important to you than ten dollars you cost to you. You know that that that movie cost you to watch or the dollar cost you at red box to watch like there. That says something about your priorities for your own friendship. I'm out invite you to look into yourself for that but please don't invite them into white knuckle something that they know it is okay. Ada Run and resist in flee when you need to there's IT's biblical to flee from the devil You know and this is a you know. That's a real thing things so I do want to clarify that. And we'll talk about that in depth on a future episode two. We have a clinic. A mental health clinical clinical mental health nurse practitioner. WHO's GonNa come on and talk a bit with us at some point But the number one I want to provide clarification within the context of addiction The second thing I would say is Definitely Start Educating Yourself. Youtube Google the websites that we link Try to find as verified sources. You possibly can versus people like like us just talking about it. The furthermore you go into research the further away you should be from just random people talking about it. Does that make sense. Yeah this is a good introduction. Look at some point you need to be looking for the experts. Yeah Nice if you're toasted those who can. Yeah yeah so that is. And that's the last thing I want to end on. Is that disclaimer again. We're you're not the experts. There's a lot we're still learning and there's a lot to talk about So thank you for being with us and if you were going through an addiction I would invite you to you. Google celebrate recovery and and find out. Call Your Church find out if there's ask for a friend for a family member And ask if what they do for addiction find out from the bigger searches in your area And see if there's any see what exists in your immediate vicinity that you can go to the that can help you. I'm fine counseling. Find.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"She didn't catch him looking at her breasts. She didn't catch literally Elliott. That like he brought this up out would have nowhere. This was not something that needed to be apologized for because it didn't like if anything what it did was just creeper reaper out. It didn't make her feel like there was actual restoration or Or reconciliation in this moment if anything now there was an issue because now she's aware of this thing that she didn't need to be aware of like this is what she said. Yeah I don't think I needed to know that. So if I had seen him and I had been like visibly offended writing in communicated that to him. That's one thing but this was out of nowhere. He confessed I that he thought about her. In certain ways and it was way too much info for her and she felt very uncomfortable like he was telling i. Yeah who's telling. Her things is that he thought about doing things about you know and like for her. This was like it felt super invasive. It was she did not give consent to be to be have this described describe to her and Like she didn't know what was coming this. That's the kind of thing it's like I don't she felt like an object in that moment. And and the thing that we're saying here is and this is why it's relevant to what you brought up is. This made it her problem even though she didn't know it was a problem bloom and her problem the idea that so many men have with this is it's it becomes the woman's problem and I I have to tell her about it now. I don't don't have to do now. She's invited she has to deal with it too. I'm not alone anymore. And that's just inappropriate for the these are like these so royal stories that are happening tame in some respects in some respects I the it was funny because I was reading through the story and I remember. I've heard multiple instances where guys have abused the public confession of. How do I say this concept I guess is the word? I'm looking for kind of They've abused that privilege is to try to use it as an excuse to tele girl that they like them to express that I am attracted to you and so they essentially trap this individual. I've never heard a girl using this but I'm sure it's happened the same. Yeah it it. Though the instances that were related to me it was always a guy approaching female and honestly it was. It was fascinating to me because they literally uses to trap them in and so they use God as a bait and switch and then they're just flake but do you know you really hard and obviously it was more than that but it was. Is this kind of thing of just like I can't stop thinking about shooting and so do you WanNa go on a date and not the end. They're like no. I don't WanNa go on a date like that's it's not okay. Yeah and and it it is. It's not okay. It's not the intended purpose of it. the the purpose of public confession is to first of all it needs to be done. It should never be done on a retreat. If you understand anything about the purpose of public confession it should never be done with strangers. Yeah it should be done in a GR safe group than understand. You knows you a community that is family And it should be done with people that are willing to hold you accountable. That's the other thing that consent is not for you sang. I WANNA open up. That is true the consent is also. I am not only willing to open up about myself but I am now willing to hold you accountable for the things you were opening up to me about and that that to me is just what it bugs the snot out of me that we do these things Because it's not some pub confessions for them. We don't understand it and then we abuse that privilege rich and it made it makes it like you said it's exactly what you said now. The problem is no longer. I think it's almost the guys almost absolved of the issue. Now they don't even have to do with it now. It's all on the female. The guys I feel better now that that weight off my shoulders because you just made someone else carry it exactly like now you have to think about that at night as you sleeping and then just run away like that's not cool at all right just so we're clear. I just took my last sip of water. It's all downhill from here. You have one minute not one. Not You have my permission. If you take a drink of water please stop me Okay now. Here's the thing I still will probably swigs water and spit it out. But I'm not going to drink it because no ooh so Let's don't even know why I won't if someone out there one of our listeners. Who is a medical professional? Could explain clean to me. Why you can't drink fluids? Get the food. It's because it makes you nauseated after the anesthetic or like after you wake up with anesthesia having something your stomach with anesthesia apparently apparently makes him more nauseated. also fun fact When you saying that you are feeling sick to your stomach or like going to throw up? The correct. Term is nauseated nauseated. Have you say that you're nauseous. You're saying that you induce nausea in others. So it's really fun to hear people saying it's it's fun to hear people say I'm so nauseous. Right stay stay away from me for to be fair. If you're not gated stay away from me too but neither here nor there yeah okay. No Water Yep Downhill. I'm from here. Yes squeal just. It's going to be really upset if I have to go through this. Deny my surgery tomorrow. So here you go. Here's another one ready for making it. The woman's Problem Yup similar group for us. This this got me all my gosh. This one got me so because I'm like just I. Is this happens. This is completely realistic to expect. We'll say it and then I'll talk about the the multiple issues. I have with it but the biggest way so she walked into vespers one one time and she was wearing boots that had he'll And she was she sat down. She was taking her boots off Because often women will do that. They'll take their heels. Sales are the there you know whatever shoes that are not one hundred percent comfortable the entire time they're wearing them they'll take them off and get more comfortable wherever they're sitting right so as as she was taking her boots off some guys stood up and started to tell the group of that was at that vespers about why heels were so bad and ready he went into detail. He said that heels were designed by men to tilt the women's pelvis forward so that men would be attracted to them and it would signal that the woman is ready for sex. It's like it's it's passive aggression. It's real life. Sub tweet asked my gosh so I have problems with this. The illogically I I have problems with this historically probably this in every way shape and four problem with like literally on every possible level. have an issue with this Ah this socially oh my gosh so first of all historically The only part of that statement is that high heels were designed by Amen. But they were designed by men for men. high-yield invented in the sixteenth and fifty Sixteenth and seventeenth in century in France as a male fashion statement. Sue Awkward. What yeah it is? Awkward and women started wearing heels because in the early parts of the eighteenth century it was a fashion forward thinking to have women start emulating more quote unquote masculine styles. Apparently wearing high heels was a masculine thing to do So that's know your history slope says new on that one big act but this is the same. This is the same type of ignorant rent. Because I don't know of this person invented the story my guess is it was told to them by another. I call it the Wikipedia of stupid. Because it's just one person writing something stupid down and another person being like no. It's true because they set it up up No both you're wrong and stupid. That's just you're both idiots This is the same argument that we get about drums. I heard one guy go off on why anything with gelatin had pagan it was bad and I was like dude. You do understand what gelatin is made from. He's like yeah it's the hoof and I'm like you do understand Dan. What gelatin is made from is not at all considered pork right? He's like what and I was like that pork. Is the the meat you. I didn't say you idiot. I thought it better according to Jesus I the Tony. This is a safe space. Oh my gosh. Here's the problem I to tell him privately because I want to embarrass him he got to see this in front of Doc. Some brilliant person who. I'm not GonNa Make Fun of here but I will say they had good intentions at the beginning. Decided when I was a pastor at the church down to devote every other week and like a twenty minute talked for health during the church service which ruins the flow of worship. It was all done by amateurs. Here's who had no clue what they were talking about. There were two in the year and a half that we had this thing that actually I was like Oh that was good and they were both done by Ford medical professionals. Shocks DOC shocker. Yeah shocker and this was just one where they got to say in front of the whole church. There were visitors there. The whole time like marshmallows are bad because it's jolting Alton because it's a big. I'm just like Marshall's or bad because of the sugar. Not because not because of Leviticus. It's yeah it's the same argument in White. Drums are bad. It's the same argument. Why you know musical? Oh syncopated beats our evil. I remember I took a worship class. They talked about syncopated. Beats and this guy won on. I'll say three Bien. Yeah I said it when on Three A. B. N.. And talked about why syncopated beats horrible. Dude there's a liar. The ministry dedicated to that idea. Yeah the professor of the class then showed a clip of the same die on the same network in a different instance. Seeing a song long he then brought up. And it's a famous Steve. Steve Green made the song famous. That's huge in the conservative avid circles. He brought up the sheet music for it and he goes okay so you see how this note is in between this beat and this beat that's called syncopation so he goes unless it was going I am who said crews say If the press he goes if you do anything in between that that's called syncopation. That guy's an idiot. The whole class went nuts. I mean the whole classroom and there were some really traditional people in there and even they were like ah because it is. It's the level of ignorant. Yeah used to harm another person. Because I'm like look I hate the fact that anyone stands ends up in publicly shamed another person. I hate that fact. It should not be it should not. It does not help. But if you're GONNA do that at least be correct. Yeah if you're going to publicly shame someone had because you like this guy killed another human being. I'm not really comfortable with him. Coming in talking to us about stewardship yeah it remained. Yes like I'm not cool with the embezzler telling us how to save money like that. If you're going to do it at least be accurate. Yeah but to to to and to me that's the big thing that it's about control when you hear something like that. It's not about helping somebody. It's not about making the situation better. It's about control because you don't even have the foresight to back up what you're saying and make sure the facts are correct and and it's not even like it's about controlling about pride because then you're celebrated as the guy who who has all this knowledge and wow that's amazing and just so glad that somebody stood up and said something praise God that we have people who stand up for morals breath and for right thing and I'm just so super I've just praised God that we have people of character who will stand for the right no matter if the polls fault well you're standing on the wrong side. Let let let's be Tony. You're standing on something. Tony isn't even making fun of the person saying those things he's I know he's making fun of the person receiving those comments. Because like here's here's the deal like those are intoxicating comments pass. I know several pastors. who think they're great preachers? Because because their their members shocking things thinks because their members walk out the door was six wherever. Senators saying good sermon. Passer the shake their hand and they leave because your members are very rarely ever going to tell you it was a bad sermon. Airman your their pastor and they care about your opinion so they care about the way you see them and they don't want you to offend you right. There are so many passengers were terrible. Preachers preachers and stroking the EGO. Never lead anyone to growth. Yes just the reality. These last two stories are I. This is these last. Two stories summarized the biggest issue. I have with the functional aspect of body called a body shaping immodesty culture which is what we talked about in ninety eight like the first three kind of. You've yeah we we kind of brought up at the these last couple of soil. It's like one story kind of mashed into these are. These are two separate or is two separate entity separate lives Ah they both encapsulate. The exact they demonstrate the same thing. Yeah it's the same idea and this is this is really what we talked about. So go for it. So no water. Becker I I know I hate you So passers what. When she's been she she she would wear nail Polish a lot and not like out there? Nail Polish whatever out there nail Polish count says I almost took a drink of water out of the happened just now I've reached for the bottle title..
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"Back to absurdity where we explore all things absurd in religion culture and society and Tony is joining me for the first part of a two part episode so we decided to give you a two for one this this week and for us this is actually a a to for on recording this episode so both of us had a Catis catastrophic failure with our files on our respective ends and a re recording this so I'm just letting that cat out of the bag immediately in case something comes up again as things do yeah it is what it is some somehow lost recording gets put up Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah for like three hours yup basically and then well it's the three hours like I made the mistake on three different hours worth of content and I am having to rerecord this we had to rerecord part two and then we had you too I have to re record a different episode for something else so it is like nonstop for me having and I'm in the middle of a move like I you had to be up at four am this morning takes them to the airport and I went to sleep at three am and then fifteen minutes afterwards done here I'm going to be moving all my furniture so to my new house and this is the last recording we will do in my apartment after this we are I'll be in my house Dan have a dedicated recording space rather than like the foot of my bed in my room and it's going to be technically that's still a dedicated according space but yeah yeah but like the the room it sells only is going to be honest with you though like the the the room using for my quote Unquote Studio Is Really Small and kind of tempted to put my bed in it and then use the master bedroom as my I'm I'm actually toying with the idea in my head because the only thing I use my I dream for his actually go to like to be in my bed like I don't need all that space necessarily I could do it but I so now we'll see luckily my bet is easy to move if I decide that I want to super easy to move my my bed but air mattresses just you just blow them up and they're they're so exactly it's perfect and I'm you know that's believable because I'm not married at twenty at twenty six that's one hundred percent believable and then there's a pile of a used Rahman Bulls Nick is to my next to my air mattress obviously as a single in as a bachelor or Velveeta Mac and cheese I respected you up until the Velveeta that no one should ever eat vida for any reason what no doubt is ally that is that is ally that is orange chemicals it just now that's that's that's crap Oh either one is good now they're amazing but if you ever want to be grossed out just go check out vices documentary dude who has only eaten Mac and cheese for like seventeen years or so because he was five yeah it's he has a cabinet full of juice boxes of Velveeta and that is all he uses the same pot every time he like it is the Gr- I could only watch five minutes of it it was it was really gross. Yeah it was not so that's a good start to this episode hey look freedom to only eat yeah where do you get this stuff where where does this all come from Tony Are you okay I don't know the voices in my head the the rock one is the rock jazz one blaring out today hey everybody welcome to ninety eight point seven the cool man and Becker and Becker Ah Becker so I quick disclaimer for everyone this is an adventist centric episode this is an adverse centric week we are talking about General Conference Annual Council which just happened October ten through sixteen out in Maryland and at the at the General Conference church can headquarters and just a you kind of understand as we as we go into the store not evidence listeners you know you're going to hear some stuff that really has frustrated US angered at some ridiculous things as well so just be patient with us as we work through it so this episode is Tony and my reaction to some of the stuff that that went down and then part two with Matthew Lucio is should be live at the exact same time this is that episode kind of talk about what's next how do we what do we do with any residual anger and frustrations that we haven't had to actually take action from there and and Tony and I made what are we may touch on a little bit of that but this was something I felt like would be warranted for for two parts and if I'd say this like I I wanNA temper this conversation with with the couple things you know just just personally I think number one is this The both Tony and I are one hundred percent committed dedicated seventh day adventist Tony's in seminary I worked for seventy institution I lay pastor a church and like we are both kind of like we're both in this we're not going anywhere and so we you know I get that I criticize a lot on this show Tony Criticizes a lot on this show but the one thing that I always it comes across as we're not just criticizing because we don't like someone or because we or want just way yeah we're not trying to be cavalier about anything yeah we're doing this because we see things that we believe are damaging to people or are hurtful or wrong and we're going to we're going to talk about those things in a hopefully one of the things that I firmly believe is that we can't do anything if about these problems if no one knows about them so tony and I we talk about these things we we bring them to people's attention so that's number one number two the big thing is in explanation of it kind of just a quick explanation of how our church works so at the local level you the local church then you have state conferences or regional conferences these typically you've got the Carolina conference that covers both of the Carolinas Florida Conference Arizona Conference so But then you get Georgia Cumberland which covers most of Tennessee and all of Georgia right so and then you've got you know several you've got all these different conferences that that cover kind of this about a state or twos region and then you've got the union which covers a region of or a group of conferences yeah so like I'm in in in Tennessee in the Southern Union Florida Conference Storage Cumberland Carolina Conferences Gulf states those are those are in the the Southern Union as well as Kentucky Tennessee and then in be above the union so to speak is the division the division is usually a continent however there thirteen divisions there's not there's not thirteen continents so it's mainly the division basically like a really really large area it's the next step up from union inside and from there then you have the the general conference or the World Church and so that's kind of the the technically the highest level of authority and adventist is the local church but the you know the it's step of that ladder basically is nominating people to become a part of constituencies and vote for their own leadership so you know the conference constituency session where Church members that are nominated by their own churches and by their you know by people within their Prince will meet and vote on their church officers for the for the conference officers unions have constituencies that it goes completely up the chain and so at the the idea is that whenever general conference meets these are delegates that have been chosen from around the world not by General Conference but by but I kind of local churches at some level of of that at some point in that process so the the highest level of authority at that point is whatever vote the general the World Church takes so g see the short for general conference that meets every five years in DC session next year is G. Twenty twenty and that's going to be the sixty first general conference and inbetween that there are still things that happened in the church that need to be addressed as well as the agenda the has to be set people have to make what are the things actually going to talk about a general conference session and so there's something called the General Conference Executive Committee which meets his annual council and they they meet every year for in the spring and every year in the fall and they set the agenda they talk policy they vote on things that are important every you know every year and this kind of keeps the things going this keeps the wheel turning as slowly as it may turn and see just came out of annual council and some big things came out that we you know some things people knew about going into it something's people didn't know so Tony and are going to be pretty candid and Tony I don't WanNa give any any disclaimer personally for yourself here but Yeah yeah you premiums set it I mean it's just like we we think we think that we can do better you know and so that's why we're seeing this if we thought it was like well this went as good as it could possibly go then we wouldn't say anything and it'd be like here here's how it went which I mean we're still kind of describing a little bit but I think we're also GonNa talk about here the things that we could do better here the things that we think we can improve on I really don't have a place here that GonNa think it doesn't really have a place it's needed it's not helpful you know I think it just boils down to to me all things lawful but not all things are helpful it's like let's let's be discerning on what things are helpful things are going to make a positive prince yeah exactly so we're gonna I we have links to things we have there's going to be a bunch of links in the show notes and the one thing that you should know that spectrum magazine basically live tweeted every meeting which is wonderful because its objective like literally just like delegate X. says why says you know it's very just straight to the point there's no there's really no spin so even if you think spectrums buys like these are tweets that you can just look up on twitter and no so what said without having to watch a bunch of hours of livestream because this was live streamed for people to watch the and then you can verify on the livestream should you so desire it has a time stamp yep so you've exactly yeah and so we'll we'll include links to the tweets that we reference we're going to do it for just for her you know speed sake but hopefully every link is here if not one thing you can do to find any of these quotes if if I forget a link or whatever focus is going to be a ton of them you can easily just search at spectrum mag on twitter space in them like put a space bar and then whatever word is is in the tweet and you should be able to you know one of the words in the tweet and you it should come right up basically you search for a specific twitter a tweet on twitter and so we're GonNa kind of jumping on this if you want more information can over to the scratch news dot com there're blinked there we kind of did a recap of all of the stuff that was voted on the official votes that took place in what was discussed kind of objectively and then this is just reacting to it so I I want to talk about is the is the morning we chips so every day there was a there was a worship that that that took place in on on Sunday Neil Nedley who's the prison went we mar- came up and spoke and he spoke on the health message so if you're unfamiliar with the health message it is just a it's just a kind of one of the things that autism is known for and it's it's the idea that it focuses on the holistic health of a human being and one of the main ways at focuses on that is through diet in is through what we eat and so you know if you go it's you know if you're at an adverse church most of the time you're going to encounter vegetate Indian food you're GONNA find meat substitutes instead of.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"See where that that complaint comes from I can see where that would make sense of hey you know you need to be able to if you're going to if you're going to talk about something this important it is from a article from Al Dot com which is basically Alabama dot com but it is in Alabama kind of news News Source Alabama Media Group and they kind of their one of the news outlets got ahold of this story in the midst of that article they quoted a student they asked they asked they interviewed a student and the student gave us perspective on something and this is what he says as far as his feelings on the topic of of sex and or and everything sexual assault and abused could he said and we'll link this in this description I promise the leadership of Oakwood University tries to reflect the values and traditions of the adventist church many of the students there come from adventist academies around the world when abstinence is the only instruction kids try to figure it out themselves chiefs students aren't given a safe space to explore sex and this movement is a direct result of cutting off the conversation now I have significant issues with this because let me be clear let me be clear before I say what about to say first of all I am all for calling out the institution when it needs to be called out that I've made that no secret on this podcast Hi call us out for a lot of stuff and I am proud to be an adventist I'm proud to be a Christian I am proud to be where I am I'm proud be working at southern but I have no like I'm no stranger and I'm comfortable with calling the institution however I'm only okay with calling out the institution when it actually deserves to be called out about something right now I fully I will I will I will give him I will concede as much as possible here that yes adventist is not handled sex education well cool all right that's all I can give him here because I cannot blame the institution for an individual males decision to violate someone else's boundaries violent someone else's innocence and violate someone else's sexual sexual boundaries as well sexual abuse is not the fault of the institution it is the fall talk of the individual abusing however the caveat there is the institution can absolutely protect abusers it can and it can the the institution it has before and multiple institutions have and but the institution not being specifically Oakland but I mean the institution like just any institution bright we've done a lot in perpetuating abuse and allowing in creating a system where creaming environment yeah where where it can happen and can happen but I will I refuse I refuse to let any sexual abuser off the hook for what was their decision that's that's like to violate that boundary so I will say okay I understand this idea of absence only does it like I said you know we we dropped the ball a little bit as far as sex education we have we just have and most and here's the thing if you get sex education and the adventist system you're getting more than most adventists kids that's just it we just want to talk about it at all yeah another episode we'd talk about but this is just the reality is like most don't get anything so I do acknowledged stat fact of yeah when you get to a place you don't understand what boundaries are right a person here understands consent if you don't understand what consent is you need to get tested and I'm not that is not a joke three year olds been proven scientifically to be able to understand comprehend an acknowledged consent they just may not know the literal word word consent they don't know what that word means but they understand the concept yeah and like there have literally been studies on this and so it's like yeah understand what that is okay you may not understand the greatest harm that sex education has done is actually ruin marriages not created actual Salt K it is frustrating to me when one says that because it takes the blame off of the individual and I think you said it I'm not GonNa let I'm not gonNA let I'm not GonNa let these people off the hook and and that's that's it gave you doing this violate Shen is wrong end of story and by the way if anyone is actually studying their bible the way that they should the way that we claim we supposed to his adventist you will read right there in exodus in deuteronomy and numbers and Leviticus you will read that it is wrong so for someone to say well it's because we're not teaching sex education right and so then they know that is that is incorrect that's wrong it's just it's just not even close to being right it's not the Ballpark of being yup and more than anything that it's dangerous and understand what they were trying to well it seems to me what their spirit was trying to say which was we need to get such a sex education right look if knowledge was all it took nobody would smoke day now did knowledge is helping and smoking's down to like fourteen percent but understand smoking kills you smoking by itself every cigarette you taste doc lowers you life if knowledge was enough it would have radicalized that if knowledge was enough we wouldn't be dealing with racism we wouldn't be dealing with terrorism we would be having extreme accountability in our government's world governments are economics would be completely different if knowledge was enough our world would be working at an optimal level because this is the age of information you could argue back in you know pre bird days in the Middle Ages when people were afraid of the sun you can argue that because people could read the communicate there were isolated from each other in the days of the Internet you cannot say oh well this is working out yeah all you need is knowledge you just need to educate them it's an irresponsible statement and it takes the blame off of the person and here's why I'm I'm in sense by this because this is not just an awkward problem this is not just an an adventist problem this is a world problem so to say well it's happening because of sex education okay explain to me why this happened so often on public episode then yeah and you can say well they don't do so now you just arguing levels of sex education will what is yeah what is correct that's education and now we're on a completely different subject and that's the danger of it is now we're not talking about the do you see quickly the subject has shifted that's the danger of it is that immediately start changing the conversation conversation needs to be how do we prevent how do we make our women and men feel safe on campus that even if this horrible terrible thing happens that there's a place where they can feel safe to go to and say this needs to stop and and it is a headache and I will agree one hundred percent but if we cannot make that provision well let me let me go then then we that we did in our institutions we need we need to take a deep hard look at what we're really trying to do and Stanford let me let me go further if the headache is a bigger deal to US the fact that women and men are being abused and assaulted on our campuses or at our institutions then there's there's an even bigger problem like that that that's is it like I've I get that it's a headache this you accepted this role if you're in a position that you have to directly deal with this this is your job this is you have to do this is what you accepted this is the responsibility that you accepted there are parts of my job I don't like I do them there are parts of it a job that I love and I do them and I love doing them way more than the parts they don't like but I have to do the parts I don't like to and listen I know one hundred percent I know that in my life if I do know that I have especially like it was especially true in high school I know that I did I should never have done there's part of me that hasn't gone back and apologize to those people become too too it's not that many lives not long but to the people and I'm talking about things like like general sexting like the things that are kind of unfortunately now normal for even people below eighth grade I have a friend who used to teach second grade who was having problems with sexting her second grade class so that's gotten way younger than when it was a problem for me but part of it is because I feel like I don't know if they've forgotten about it and I don't want to reopen like an old wound if I don't have to get that I've made decisions that caused women to feel uncomfortable and I've taken I've tried to from from the point that I realized it on I've tried to make that right and he's my platform to do something good about this in this area absolutely understand that look I come I come from a hugging culture K I come from a culture that hugs people I come from a family that hugs people I used to hug people without asking permission then I came to southern I made someone feel uncomfortable I was specifically told don't and I reacted badly I reacted badly basically yeah I would very publicly and very loudly say tuna acuvue a hogue and then go and not realizing the other side of it because I was immature because I didn't really is what that actually meant and then someone explained to me why someone would feel that way and once I understood that I said wow I was clearly in the wrong and I apologize I apologized and I try to do my best from that point on and now disturbing realities I almost always asked for permission if I'm not paying attention sometimes I'll just do it for pretty much everything I go can I give you cool I just ask you because some people it's not okay and some people may feel uncomfortable and I that's I don't WanNa make anyone feel unsafe now I true I want to do my best to make sure that people are are S- feel safe with me and if they feel unsafe I want to stress Yup well but there are some people that do wanNA feel safe I want people who are abusers I want them to feel safe with me I want them to feel like they are they are what's eighth with me around that I do because I want I want them to know that those actions are not okay those are the people that I want them to feel nervous and comfortable and your your actions are now okay but I want to make sure that victims are safe with me yeah I agree and that they feel like the only way we can do that is and I I hope that I will react the same way that I'm reacting now if and I'm not saying saying that I know of something but if I have made so much feel uncomfortable in that with if they come forward and say hey you know this time this happened just I did I felt uncomfortable I didn't like it that I will have the same reaction I hope and that's why I'm prepping for it but my thing is I wanna make sure people feel because.
"becker" Discussed on Absurdity with Ryan Becker
"It's an advocates donating time away from their state and local groups publish written analysis attract legislation provide media interviews advise members of Congress and the executive branch but one girl who was really kind of out there as far as like really trying to take hold of this latch onto it and and makes them an advocate for change out of it so she tweets out or on the fourth or the false accusations the devil is a false accuser that's the literally his name in the Old Testament ties with the devil being someone who just is all about falsely accusing and he says if China is making false accusations against someone else than you are were you are of the devil like false accusations of the devil uses that that that phrase again our boss to every ten so what you've done is you've equated the two false accusations with the eight actual instances of assault and abuse that a reported every every and every ten accusations that happen so he's equated things that really don't have equal weight as far as concern is is as as far as like in about accusations matters so that's why people flip out about this and I happen to agree with that assessment I don't think this was wise on his part to in the breath say something if he wanted to say something about false accusations later that's fine but the other reason that other people came on to him for this was because he this also tends to silence of actual victims because they become afraid to speak up for fear of being labeled a false accuser so like this is there's there's more here than just like he's falsely acquainting because of statistics no this is actually the kind of rhetoric that has silenced a lot of victims because victims are always told you were falsely accusing we don't believe you I'll but he's so and so and he's such a good guy and he would never do this or he's just trying to get an education and we we don't want to disrupt that right all of this happens and so they already know they're fighting an uphill battle to seek justice and now you've just made it harder so bird gets under attack burqas under attack for that and Tony can you can acas through his response do you have that tweet pulled up yeah I do on it there's response specifically was this has come to my attention that a portion of my sermon on September seven nine two thousand eighteen may have been misunderstood by Ver- online viewers who may not be where the immediate context in which the statements were made the entire Oakwood University Church and community was shocked and saddened by revelation of hurtful experiences by number of students expressed online primarily using twitter the manifestation of these horrifying stories is indicative of several breakdowns in our community we much we must create safer spaces for students and community members and affirming mechanisms to ensure that they receive justice wherever they speak out as stated in the full sermon central salt is wrong and abused it'd be prosecuted and brought to justice the twitter account upon which the experiences and accompanying statements were shared last week later shared an apology to Melissa wants that statement had been proven to be false the statements in the sermon Sato Jesse's very unfortunate occurrences false statements make it harder for actual victims to be heard and believed I continue to stand with all those who stories need to be heard I have heard I have already begun to connect with the Church and community leaders who will help to provide additional counseling and legal counsel to all those involved with regards peoper so oh there's also something about this that's also problematic in the third fourth paragraph Fourth Paragraph because I'm looking at the is now to this is the twitter account Oh you me too upon which the experiences and accompanying statements were shared last week later share in an apology to acknowledge that one such statement had proven to be false one this dude gave listen call Timberg great great preacher I know that he's been loved by lots of people for a Lotta years this was a misstep on his part can we just bike that's putting it lightly but this was not a wise move from him I get what he's trying to say. and I'm glad that he is reaching out and working with community members to fix this but one false accusation out of all of those and now you're giving that equal weight airman in fact I would say you almost I think he gave it more time than he did in saying sexual abuse is wrong in that same little clip so the this is something that's really interesting to me I think this was a misstep on him and I don't think it was worth in your sermon giving equal weight to something to one false accusation and believe me I'm someone who has been falsely accused very in a very minor fashion and I understand the fear that that has understand the the the the the fear that that gives you right and fills you with but I'm sorry the weights not the same because the fear that you expect Silence of a potential false accusation is nowhere near the pain and hurt and fear that victims of actual sexual assault abuse feel like I can't I can't equate those two so this was like this was a big step on on pastor pastor birds part I don't know I like I I really that's I really wrestled with that I'm going to be honest I don't think that was good for him one of the things that I saw online to people I I have not seen the sermon Alison clips of it on twitter and people's responses to one of the things that a lot the people said that they complain about what's that this had this was a tangent in this was not the main point of the sermon this was not something he he kind of stepped aside if you will to bring this up and they go if you're going to step aside to bring it up and you bring up both parts of it you know you really should have if you're going bring it up like that you really need to make it the entire focal point of your sermon so you can explain both those things more in depth so to me I I very much.