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When You're Stuck at Home and Things Get Bizarre

Does This Happen to You

05:08 min | 2 years ago

When You're Stuck at Home and Things Get Bizarre

"On medium.com and here is when you're stuck at home and things get bizarre. The pandemic has unhinging humans and non-humans alike I have been super frustrated being cooped up at home last week going for a driver's license renewal felt like a trip to Disneyland. I couldn't wait to talk to someone other than my husband and like crazy question my brain. No way. Most people are in the same boat quipped my mind if most people are in the same boat. How are they social distancing pondered my brain struggling to visualize that boat my mind rolled its eyes and gave up. The first question had not been rendered moot. We live in strange times someone in a far-off province had Close Encounters of the catastrophic kind with a bat. And now our entire planet is growling with a pandemic and it is messing not only with our bodies but also with our heads I had no idea that pandemic is stressing out. Our nonhuman friends to walk closer to home. Some of my household items have been acting rather strange not as strange as humans act but close enough for me to challenge the sanity of the items in question. The sleazy vacuum cleaner my robotic vacuum cleaner who I found to be cute think Wally cute has turned out to be a grade a creep as soon as I press the on button on him. He heads towards my oscillating fan ignoring every instruction. I punch in his remote. He then starts banging into the fan like a crazed teenager high on hormones. I've observed this compulsive Behavior day in and day out and failed to put a finger on it. Is he passive-aggressively bullying the fan or dry humping it the fickle oscillating fan speaking of passive aggressive actions that very Fanboys me when my husband isn't looking it oscillates on its own and blows a blast of air in my face it is well aware that I do not enjoy those blasts. I'd like to give birth Benefit of Doubt and believe this series of lightning storms are gripped, Georgia tripped up its circuits, but I'm skeptical of that theory because it behaves like a gullible love-struck push over with my husband and eats out of his hand the vengeful green onion plants on the subject of eating. I proud transferred a task from my list of infinite number of things. I want to start in 2022 list of handful of things. I accomplished in 2028 gardening. I like to call it an apartment setting. I grow edible plants and vegetables in my apartment in case the world comes to a grinding Halt and we're not allowed groceries a veggie in hand is worth two in the grocery store. I've succeeded in growing everything except green onions. My green onions are literally dead. Spiraling out of control they shot out like cannonballs when I place the roots in water and seem to be on their way to breaking the glass ceiling as far as shoots go but transferring them to a pot full of soil has messed them up real good. Now they're growing in spirals instead of going straight. I think they want revenge because I potted them it put it into their nightly strolls through our apartment you see on my sister's advice. I have now started talking to them. Yes talking out loud to them to sue their nerves and help them grow in the right direction. Isn't that just a tad bit weird? I asked her. Well, it is very effective. You know, I talked to my plants to basil mint Rhododendron all of them. Why would it be weird she replied? Of course not that's perfectly normal. I added with hesitation. Call me. If they ever start replying to you. It might be time to visit your shrink. I muttered off the teleporting bird feeder a month ago. Our bird feeder like the birds. It was feeding took flight from our balcony railing. We scoured our balcony wage partment downstairs neighbor's balcony the grounds every place within a 100-mile radius with a fine-tooth comb but to no avail, it's been a month since it went missing and I've given up hopes of its return the only logical explanation.

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