20 Episode results for "Ardmore"

Culture of Grant Love

The Culture of Being

28:46 min | 1 year ago

Culture of Grant Love

"Today's show is brought to you by team. Final cut or TSE. Check HIM OUT ON YOUTUBE DOT COM SLASH TEAM. Final cut for everything mixed martial arts. Mac Coltan Morrison Tommy Britain. The dudes are killing it in Oklahoma. So check them out and give them all the love. That's team final. Cut Check them out and also check out our other sponsor Flies FUCK. Okay see on Instagram. It's inspirational videos. Photos quotes and he has a website coming soon. Hey everybody welcome to episode. Seventy three of the culture of being podcast. Today's guest was fighter. Grant Love Grant. Love is an amateur heavyweight out of Oklahoma ardmore specifically his records four and three so we sit down with them. Are we even sit down with somebody do a phone interview and talk about his? Emma origins his overall goals in just his time spent the combat academy down in Ardmore. So give it listen. Show them some love and I hope you guys enjoy. Yeah we keep it short and sweet in this episode. Since it's a phone interview it's always. It's always a little tougher doing these for US. So we kind of like to keep him only thirty minutes. So you guys you know. Enjoy this quick little cast and give it up for grant love to off to a mansion. Nate to understanding and we are like somebody who has been dead around. The House was burning down around. History has some kind of will for its own. Transcendent derives our dreams. Thoughts the choices we make why we're here in This evening The world is not at all as we suppose to be. I find that very amazing. I mean that's the bottom line. Hello Hey this is grant what's going on. This is Jordan from the culture of being not too bad. Appreciate you taking time and talking to US man. You're busy as hell. I'm occurred at the DOJ. Oh right now in the last year so To step to the bank to talk to you a little bit of listen to spotify. Like your show man Just some background for the listeners. Grant love is a fighter from ardmore. Oklahoma he has an amateur record of four and three. He's on a to fight win. Streak both by submission and he trains out of Combat Academy or more so man honestly. I really just want to learn more about you. You give our listeners like your origin story. What got you into like martial arts or may man Say about six years ago. I was about three hundred ten three fifteen. Maybe three three hundred pounds and Got a divorce and decided I was going to get in shape and One of my friends that I met there in sulphur. Home while lived the Cortes Hellman. I met him after he came fodder. Who's working in a little store there? And he's a cool guy was targeting occurs. You may help new weight. Loss journey and I went to one of his fights and I was sitting there watching the amateur before and I was like man. You know what I can do this one top bail bucket list kind of thing so I I talked to him about. It started trying trying for a year before my first fight and I was just host. I could not do it anymore. So it just became a lifestyle you know show has been a really awesome journey a bounce around and have very very good guidance or very you know people that had the time you know. He was busy with his with his career. And everything could just stop down to help some thirty year old amateur. So I've kind of kind of winter bounce around and Honestly I've learned quite a bit over the last year but I two five lost. Both those bites. I've cut down. I was like one hundred ninety seven into Oh to for my second one man and that just wasn't me but that was again. Not Having good guidance people tell me all your too short too heavy way you go down but now obviously those those two losses not in the heavyweight class scout. I kind of wish that I get rid of those to just Four lawn the absolutely so when you actually I started euro for heavyweight never knew that was going or one eighty fiber well ninety the morning away in for my first by it was in the Great Plains Coliseum in law and I was one ninety that Morton and My opponent had changed like three or four times over the the monthly to fight. And finally it was with the pfister fury Jesse Saints and Jim Morris Jesse called me and said Hey man we have you an opponent. But he's heavy so kind of asked me where I was and I said man. I'm one ninety seven o'clock this morning. I plan on shed pal the Water Bob that neither way ends up being one eighty five and he said well you don't worry about it'll get catchweight so I got tune. Swigs over in law stepped on the scales clothes on and I was like one ninety six with the corner. Did you can eat. You'll make it so a one ninth. We both weighed in ninety seven. That's crazy yeah. It was crazy cut from our weighed about two thirty. I'll walk around comfortably at two thirty. Did try to convince you to cut down to one. Eighty five they were a couple people. I was out ended up and a jam. That wasn't a martial arts gym but it was a strength and conditioning gym and a couple of one of the guys there have bought more time was trying to voice and The one of those guys like too short. You can't fight heavyweight. You can't heavyweight and see you need to be you need to cut down so and and at the time. I I didn't know anything you know so I was just like okay account of high school. I don't know how to cut lake so That's that's what I did and it just managed bill. Reid wasn't healthy. I mean I. I don't for myself or any of fires at training my gym. I do not encourage eating aware. Tim Powell way cut and thousands easy stain. I'm wondering about that because it seems like at a certain point when you so much weight you're giving up power as well right. I with my screen that it began like the last month of that I cut and I went down. I'm normally curly. Pretty strong person is kind of one of my things is I I. I'll lift heavy and I just my weight my pr. Went Down Twenty pounds. And I was working out just as I could feel myself because I was still ripped in every day I feel myself getting weaker and weaker weaker and it was. It was crazy to the point where I didn't feel myself at all. This drained and I wasn't prepared either. Man has better guidance outnumber fault that I that wasn't ready. And that's like a big thing you see especially in the amateur world is like you get independent fighters or fighters go in there and just WanNa fight so the coaches all right at least a dangerous things. So when did you actually make your way to the Combat Academy in Ardmore? Actually it was two thousand and eighteen. June April or May of two thousand eighteen and it was a combat academy actually. Was Jim Knock Killeshin Karate? Would you on our logo on in the middle of the logo? We still have Jim in is logo on the forehead of the skull of our logo. But I actually just kind of wondered by this place and kind of look like it was the other closing down or just old Matt's inherent up. The door was unlocked. And my my sense. I was in here. Hit just opened the doors but he just was just getting set up in open for like a Motte and took confide on two weeks notice and I was like man I need a place to to roll train and access the mats and stuff and she just invited me in and I started training there for the next two five seven and two thousand eighteen and then beginning a last year we decided become partners and turn it into Combat Academy so you guys actually partner partner. Excuse me Hartford up to do that. That's pretty in San Fran either. Yeah it's been it's been really cool you know. Because I I really didn't have a specific martial art start out boys high and and some catch wrestling actually trained at Davis Caveman with address. Thomson Rodway of all those guys out the karate style. Stick out for you when I see her stance pretty karate like then when you always thought that right straight seems like a karate straight to me was a thing where I like stand up on like half but really a lot of mixed martial arts with all. Oh we actually had this discussion before the coach in style karate style. I'm Kirti limber from gymnastics as a child for a big especially so Throwing the cakes and everything and I like stand up. I'll I don't not really like I don't like going to ground It's not my favorite thing to do. it just kind of stuck with me. I I enjoy I enjoy the art you know and I think it's It's a pretty cool martial arts pretty brutal man. I cry. Tournament was something else but compared to him. Well it's dislike dislike fighting somebody. That's not a wrestler. You know where you can throw hands better easier with less ory about being taken down so kind of makes it easier but then again when you're fighting someone that are so used to that being their game you know you. My legs were just destroyed after my first tournament. Man and it's and it's one and you may have ten twenty minute break and then you fight again so it's definitely going to school tournament style. Yeah and like man. Actually my first tournament I ended up getting second place I tournament and really just relying on Fighting History and Moi tied Getting second place and we've Williams in it was in the city and we laughed and we went to break down for some trans afterwards and I can only walk man like my legs. Were BUSTED UP. Those guys both got me. That's what that's thing man leg kicks. Ga. That's I thought knocked down which has no gloves notion bars just a company mouthpiece was it. Hey Sue sedova pronounce his last name. Yeah like he his last opponent dude I think he had thrown thirty or forty leg kicks that I can understand how that guy could still walk. Ause his picture of we're France. You know we have our style. We just tried to be professional and talk trash. And it'd be welcoming people as far as Martial Arts community so I talked to Brooke Andreassen Christopher which is a Souza's opponent facebook and I saw him post the back of his leg next week and I was like Dan Do that. Looks like it sucks. He just came in the lead leg kick and then over the top combination but it was very karate like but it was working all night long. It's beautiful to watch this place. Hastings has ever train. You know he he pretty much got into martial arts. Just being my list in partner. He's taking that fight last minute. Tim saying sure. I'll come spar with you all come help you. I'll do whatever. And that's why he's been in my corner for all my vices for that last event where he fall right before me so he and he's an aces a beast. I mean he's really were all he really. That lasts by just people. This don't aren't boxing. Fans are are you know aren't fight fans just WanNa see the blood sport side of it wasn't let's let's bustle. Mi's head open like there. I mean because I've heard some people say some negative thing about hostesses by which it was fun to watch for the casual fan but for me sit back stage marching on that jumbotron. I was impressed by people. Don't understand what it takes when you're in that cage to to have patience and not want to be on the attack on times. Yeah you had the right to be able to appreciate his tactics. Yeah definitely just from like someone who is watching so I was out of his karate. Style was dude. Yeah it was perfect. It was on point. And I don't think Timothy Christopher Roy. I don't think he ever saw anything like that but I was just like yeah. He's lead him back. He's setting up then he's coming in with like a one to attack these backing up like it was perfect. Anybody could pick out some things and discuss what? Hey seuss actors by you know and you could have done. This differ visited. It was beautiful Jesse Hernandez Myself. We're backstage just like who is this guy. Because he's not don't train. Nowadays he's resercher. Moves forward throws bombs and. Wow He's calm and once he got a third round and I mean he had that fight. One is noggin finished. You know pretty much for the third round and did it so I was really proud of him for that and the one leg existing is not normally he was like Nah. I'm not throwing kicks. Bang with this guy really so many sitting there waiting for the The head kicked to come on. It's like keep them up with that link but he comes with a head kick and finishes with him and he throws up here the Dow Jo- he wizened Obama ahead. You know quite a bit That's that's we have come quite a few black belts in here. This very good with their feet. So that's one thing when we find Gaza can throw kids. You know we were you soon because we have guys that may not be as good. They're not mark mixed martial artists but we definitely get training against some guys with some standout skills can throw kick. So let's that's one good thing about the karate jeff absolutely so you still looking for. Ko Finish of notice that you have three of your fights. Finished by submission won by decision off. Of course the head kick would be awesome. Let's get Brian's head kick cocks his head kick man for raves advice. Get on that list. Get the fight of the year kind of kind of fights but uh right now That's the thing too like with April fourth being here in Ardmore man. I don't even know if I'm GonNa be on that card. I've not been matched. I mean I had a fight offer to me and now that I have some people that are pretty knowledgeable that are backing up and been the game for awhile. Ma'am thirty six years old. And I have some. I have some goals and plays WanNa be so big picture wise. You know. I'm angry bill. You know who came up but like I said. Nice thing to put on your wall say. Hey you know I did that. But I'm thinking more big picture and and I'm trying to attain Clyde stead are stylistically in for me sh and so. I'm not really sure what we're going to do right now. We've been talking. We've been offered a couple of fights that we've actually been offered a couple of fights outsider agent cage kind of looking at my big picture goal really for the whole. My career is to make it to the pro level and I have to amateur size. Probably still to go before for I go pro. I would say the two you know and they need to be. Anita wins of course. But we're not really sure man But Yeah I would definitely any kind of knockout head kick or just a straight upstart somebody with over and ride. That'd be great times like you had it with. The streets are thrown. Yeah man it's about. Boston has come. Come on another you know. I had a lot of bad habits for Moi honestly because potters. I stand straight up and bang. That's not a lot of head movement not changing levels not fighting off angles and so that's something I really really had to fix. And that's one of the things that karate got me started on fixing so hope now fight name and Kind of trying to do a little branding stuff that way when I do go. Pro All kind of have some things lined out That's what it's all about really for. All the materials is any amateur. This looking to go pro needs to be thinking about marketing themselves. Definitely you gotTa start that foundation before you get there. Yeah because I mean the next level yeah I mean it's it's it's how good how good of a fire you are but then if you're not marketed than you and I'm not banging on wager. Fca FOR VISTA UPERIOR. But you really never get out of that market. Go to the next level even as a pro if you're not a fear not marketed. The right way via bell tower LFA USD even for the younger guys. Which I've no outrageous crazy idea that I might be on your C. You know maybe a bill or contract. That's Kinda that's what I'm reaching for. Even from my perspective like in the commentary game that would be like the Mecca for me just to get to somewhere like Balladur right. Lfa Bell Tower. I mean that's that's reasonable you know and especially for me at my age you know. That's and that's the come back and hang on my wall and build it really all this being said not. Just that I love the five address just gets consuming become life a martial arts in general My main goal within a is to go let him take me. As far as it'll take me and Builder resume to come back and hang up on the wall in my gym and be able to sell my gym and building build build my gm and say you know. This is what I've accomplished. It's been this is why you should come trying with me. So when the Pfizer gloves come off in a five over for me then I wanNA have will be at. Our guys are trained under me as a as a coach. That's a pretty good overall in game as well. Yeah so how big of a role does social media play with fighters? I'm not too much into the fighting world but I know that instagram for skateboarders. It's like it's like needed. You know is that like the same with fighters can catch sponsorships three data and well. Nice one thing like you know. I've had a couple of guys other amateurs and stuff that I know asked me like. Hey what's up with sponsors? Seth and obviously my social media page works because people see me posting sponsors right And that's one of your selling points as an as an amy's in sponsors. Hey I've got thirteen hundred plus followers on facebook. Facebook got whatever five hundred on instagram? Or whatever I'm GonNa Post Your logo and a shoutout before and after the fight your you know. Your logo is gonNA be all spy shorts on my shirts. My search are GONNA be posted on my facebook for sale. So people are going to buy my shirt with your logo on it at best free advertisement that walks around after. Somebody buys a fighter. I mean you're GonNa wear that for years. Maybe Alisher whether. It's whether the sleaze off in the gym shirt or not. It's like walking billboard. All they're all that goes through all that goes through social media and you know just for my knowledge and talk some some of the pros that I know and and When you go to the next level social media is important to even even the bigger promoters that you know. It's very bad acid. You're knocking guys out. Left and right and go ten bad asses to change from what? Which one is the most marketable seriously? Yeah that's a big. That's definitely a big deal if you have five thousand facebook friends and a hundred thousand instagram followers away. Raw twitter talk and all this stuff. Now they'll be like well. This guy's that's freely. We take him put his name. It's free pay promoted himself free for US right. Yeah seriously are so fighters used to talk? Talk is just It's just not true. My fifteen year old daughter top so yeah. She loves that takes a man recently. teamed up with the Brothers for gunslingers nation right. That's one of your news sponsored. Isn't it actually it's Now is the first responders foundation. But they're still gonNA keep gunslingers under their their In a gear I'm sure they'll make the transition of first responders foundation Far as a website and everything. I think it's just a little bit more. Pc for much more family friendly. Yeah Yeah I mean the world. We live in now gunslingers. I I kind of try to tell this to my guys like you know that they had to be yourself but you still have to appeal to the masses. You still have to fill a massive exactly. Then that's that's what they did. But yeah me me. Joe and Jake They're going to continue to bill. Who is the founder Gunslingers we've been back and forth with some logo ideas and stuff and hate. He's he's GonNa start putting more of our our ears. Our shirts five shirts and then just shirts promoting us on his website and it all goes to First Responders Foundation and they. They do a lot with the suicide prevention first responders and veterans with. Ptsd Really really good foundation. And I'm really glad to get with Jake to be involved with it. I mean I'm a veteran so It was really something but I was happy to get involved with Hell. Yeah that's beautiful man. Beautiful Yeah my brother is a veterinarian first responders so yeah it's pretty cool that like there's people out there doing a little bit extra to help people like that out well man. I really appreciate you taking the time to come on. Is there anything you WANNA plug or anything you want to promote before we get out of here grant really appreciate you haven't been on? I love y'all skills Podcast I listened to myself. Hopefully I get to see you guys at the next range event. I plan on being there. Twenty Nine Support Chris conglomerate going to happen with I. I go up to eight every chance I get and with those guys and K B Brian. They're just they're awesome cortes as an amazing thing going up there. Of course he is One bad ass do when it comes to promote he is always hustler man. He's the somebody who can take notes and learn from when it comes to that side of the game but Yeah man a February twenty nine. I'm excited about that card. It's going to be it's going to be bad ass raising case show and I love farmers market. I think it's I think it's the best the best been you that they they show that on the school Phil. Yeah just big like anywhere to be able to warm up or nothing. August Air Downstairs. But you know other than that. It's it's an awesome venue of this event. The Katie I won't go score K V and there's another fight on that card. I was pretty pumped up about seeing but yeah man I I. I don't fight in April for rage. Hopefully it'll be so healthy. Appreciate it man. Thank you so much. And maybe we'll get you into the studio for full episodes soon. That'd be that'd be awesome. Let Me Know Hell. Yeah all right man thank you thank you take care man. Hey that was. Grant love amateur heavyweight out of Ardmore Oklahoma and he was talking about as rage in the cage. Seventy two that's going to take place February twenty ninth at the Oklahoma City farmers market. You can still get tickets. Available through Stub wire any fighter on the card so for region one is culture of inmate number seven or eight or whatever something whatever it is.

Combat Academy Oklahoma US facebook instagram Ardmore partner Ardmore Tim Powell Cortes Hellman Moi Brian karate Jake Nate spotify First Responders Foundation Great Plains Coliseum Emma
We muck it up

Sips, Suds, & Smokes

55:04 min | 5 d ago

We muck it up

"In the next episode of sips suds and smokes. So we're going to be tasting has interesting. So yes scotty scotch scotch. This parents were going to be tasting today from valid in mallet. We have there are more eight year. We have their royal bracket twelve year. We have their brooke wate fifteen. We have a tom do twenty year. We've got the inch cower twenty one and then the last one from valid mallet as the one that come on favorite rent. Get back to the tape. He's sitting in the corner rock and back and forth with the model. That's eight year and a touch of water to my. He literally poured a bottle of water or malet and the last one we have is often barrel. The orphan barrel mucky mucks. We'll be right back after this marie. The radio vagabond. If you like to travel but haven't really been able to too much in recent times. Let me do it for you. We powerball full-time travel. And digital no matt from denmark on an epic journey around the world. so far. I've been to almost one hundred countries so i'm halfway in my quest to visit every country in the world. Join me and maybe you'll get some inspiration for your next trip or radio vagabond. Evening gotta keep moving a question in pick serves toy story. The carpet and sits house comes from what blue. Hi i'm brian. rollins host and creator of dorky. Nerdy trivia podcast. Every week ever used thirty new trivia questions on a different topic. We've covered star wars star trek harry potter comic books movies so much more. Every episode is designed to played like your own personal game of jeopardy your pub trivia you can play a long solo or with a group of friends. Join me every wednesday for trivia you can find us and he kyrie dot com o. The answer to my question was the shining carpet and sit-ups was inspired by the foreign overlook hotel. I hope to see you soon at dorky. I'm celeste. I'm richard k on christie and i'm tally. We're the hosts of unethical podcast every episode. We take a humorous dive into a case. Study that poses. An ethical question like should mentally ill murderers ever be released when a victim sense to die is still a murder and does someone telling someone to kill themselves make you culpable if they do. And we discussed what the outcomes of these cases are and what they should be with a unique guest host every episode. Assuming someone is brave enough to join us. Richard needs more testosterone around here now. I think it's mostly coming from west. Girls are mean we will also explore the supernatural the theoretical and the conspiratorial. We'll talk about what's underground. What's above the sky. What's hiding in the dark. And what makes you see the light. What about what's in your closet wanna believe. God damn of dana scully. You need a minute. Are you watching because that helps. I wish i was a tree but when does a fun story. Become a dangerous influence. When is fiction actually fact. Last time i checked those would be opposite. It doesn't matter. Our podcast is no holds barred true crime comedy adult content and definitely not for everybody but like most people most people are like can handle swear words and stuff. I right about that. But if you like. Us have trauma fueled coping mechanisms. Join us each week and visited a destination. You can't un visit dr. You can subscribe wherever you eat your podcast to listen. Follow us on instagram. Where we post our teasers to guess what's coming next and join us on facebook to get involved in the conversation. Welcome to unethical podcast Brought to you almost live from the dude in the basement studios. Why because that's where the good stuff is it's six and the smokes with your smoke and host the good old boy and now it's time yes it sip and time again. Hello and welcome to this episode. Where everything good in life is worth discussing as always. We are the best thing on it two am. I don't think so. I think the reruns of gilligan's island are no on ginger. Oh come on ginger freak marianne absolutely you know what all good things in life worth worth discussing on this show. Why not both. Why not go. Well one could dream but that will never happen. That's just that's more than a mortal. It's trey i'm sorry. Well yeah how about yeah okay. Yeah that's going to happen. Sure it is. Yeah and jack. Tripper wasn't asleep where they either one of those two girls. Either sister roper. Wouldn't allow it. If i'm not sure mr roper wouldn't involve looking outfits man. He was a little bit weird. We didn't have the spirit mullet down to. I think i have those dance. Had those pants. You're wearing your list. Your panthers sans a belt and they're not pants they're slacks just ba- ooh and the white patent leather shoes. Welcome to tamarack. He's got velcro frasier exit. This is made ma'am me today on the show man. Kay you guys promised somebody to the show. You goes undoing shackles. Holding me in today right. I told you can't have all you have to share. Dammit there's only a seven fifty you have to share. We have to tie down to make him drink. Scotch scotch today by the way kyrie handmade man maury good morning. Bob excited to be here in the basement today morning. Bob now is bribe print with boiled peanuts to drink scotch. I was there and you good. Oh boy harmeet to you. Bob made man made man. You made the bourbon. Mafia name. don't wear out. What do you call guy flow in the ocean when their arms and no legs. Bob i call him one of my victims anyway. So we're going to be tasting some interesting honest. So sketchy kaci. Scotch scotch the spiritual. It'd be tasting today from valentine mount. We have there are more eight year. We have their royal Twelve year we have their brooke. Wate fifteen we have a time to twenty and the last one firm valid or wait. We've got the an inch cower twenty one and then the last one from valjean mallet is the one that come on brad brent. Get back to the tape. He's sitting in the corner rocking back and forth with the bottle. That's a lack of an eight year and touch. Water to my. He literally poured a bottle of water. Last malet mallet and the last one that we have is orphaned barrel. The orphan barrel mucketty muck so we have justin do our sips ratings. Shangqiu bob warn ship. Give me a glass of water to wash out my mouth. I think laura your doctor check him out since he sounds pretty much like. You normally does to me now okay. Then he's fine two ships. No but why else do you say to ships two ships out two ships passing in the night three ships interesting. What were still should sean. Connery is dead. That's all yeah thank you. I'm for you would come. He would come a beat. Your ass four ships. Let's keep this secret jabs. Poem in other marker ramos would beat you. Stick right now. Five sips china wear anything could be described. I'll my just wrote my mouth a little. Do dear god all right. So let's move on from that tragedy like award and we're going to have more. Tell us a little bit about Valid mellon. Thank you bob. Mallett as an independent bottler based in the uk it was founded by two friends the vedra mono and fabio or moly. He can't get more english sounding names than that right with an eye on selecting an offering the best single cask whiskies they could find. Their philosophy is to select cast. They feel show the true distillery character while also choosing the cast. They personally like the best. Rather than focusing on which casts sell the fastest. That's a concept today. We have a pretty broad selection of expressions from the highlands space side to isla. So let's get to tasting. The first expression will be the valentine mallet ardmore eight year ninety seven point six proof or forty eight point eight percent. Ab for those of you. Who are mathematically challenge resemble that remark any staring direction. Was purely coincidental. Justice ardmore was founded in eighteen. Ninety eight by adam teacher son of the famous glasgow. Whisky blender william teacher to provide whiskey for use in their blended whisky in nineteen fifty five to still features one of the best bottom shelf scotch price. Wise it's not nothing s- look at quality. Is there really. Wow nine hundred fifty. Five two stills were added to the distillery bringing the total to four in one thousand nine hundred seventy four additional four stills were added bringing the total to eight the distillery maintained its own cooperage until the late nineteen eighty s. and the stills. Were still cold fired until two thousand and one in two thousand fourteen. Bhimsen tori purchased a distillery along with the teachers brand. This expression started out with ex bourbon casks from the co al distillery in chicago. The folks from valentine mallet. Then use these casts to finish a colella for eighteen months wants to casks were emptied. They were refilled with ardmore. Full eight years while come to all things scottish. Our slogan is if it's no scholarships crap. Thank you correct so this is a really light pale yellow color to it. It's one of the lighters conscious we've seen in quite some time but don't let the color fool you on the nose there drink color. That's correct. Thank you sir brown. It's brown drink it down Marzipan heather on the nose. Don't really get much. Peter smoke on the nose but once it crosses your palate you getting that. Pd smoke pepper. Heather little sweetness of the malt. It's a very interesting whiskey. It's really opened up quite a bit with air when i tried it. I thought it was heavy on the heat and the smoke and now a lot of that's blown off it's it's bringing in some of those Nice sweet marzipan characteristics in the mars. Pen not exactly. It's gotta medium finish. It's really a nice separates definitely more balanced than many of the smoky scotches. It's really got some elements that appeal to everyone. What you think brat that when you went to the word balance on the smoke. That's the whole key to this one is that you don't get the smoke on the nose. You don't get that pete and smoke on the nose. His you get some of that those almonds in the sweetness and that marzipan stuff and then when on the palette you get the fruit are the pepper and you get a little balance of that of that smoke. That's their that. Pete and it just kind of odd together to complement each other. You know we're the one doesn't off put each other. So it's so it really kind of works together with this and i you know it is an enjoyable. It's it's pleasant to drink actually know justin. I've found this was super pleasant. Reminded me of like a full picnic with cigars at the end. It has so many notes they all came in the right order. I could drink this all day. would you think are now. You're making me second. Guess myself. Because i enjoy this whiskey in youth do not enjoy. Pd whiskey. like i enjoy it. But this isn't really took risky. It is not. It's not hitting you on the head with the news. That's the difference it's got it's not just hitting you on the head with a block of wood so frankly generally for me. Ardmore is one of my least favorite. pity whiskeys. It's a western highland. It's that style especially their coal fired. Stuff was never the stuff i liked. I believe this is how this you said. There was a an eight-year-old clear bhimsen tori well. It took it took the barrels from cobol and then they've all bourbon and they had favorites. Islas yeah so they were you know so khalil end at for eighteen months and then it was put in its colella has a type of pizza's not super medicinal gets got more would smoke thing going on here. Ardmore generally is very rubbery specialist stuff. I've had from the older. The older ardmore very This is kind of like a little kind of like a wacky finished. Waxy finish to it. You know a little bit of waxing. Justice doesn't have the distillery character. They say vouch amount. Want to go for a story character. I don't feel like this ardmore character but the whiskey fantastic him more. They also say that you guys like it makes me. They're taking the cast. They like so they can because because we're right because we're right then. He's like to agree with you. Brandt created more obsolete russia. Talk about sean over here. I swear so. In other words it could actually be a scotch that appeals to all drinker. Shake could be a scotch that appeals to this is. Yeah this kaci should get this speech across party lines. I think you could definitely take a non pd scotch drinker. Let this air and open up. And i think they could find merit. Did you guys try water at all or no. But i'll take some of that scored a water might bring up more than the nose for you. Let me see again. Half a glass of water. In a residue of scots in france class face i can still taste the pizza but it takes away from all the other flavors and the only leaves me with pete flavor. I'd say most people don't do drops of scotch and a glass of water drops of water. Glasses we'll be back. Hey and we're back and we're discussing some lovely scotches from folks of valentine mallet. We're talking about there are more eight year Anybody any last comments before we move onto the next one just concerned more losing to the glass. Good so we're gonna be reading. The valentine may are more eight-year well-deserved recip- interesting ballet mallet. Now we're moving onto our next one and we're going to have harm. Tell us about that one if he can actually read the script. I've been drinking too much baba thank you for. Let me try this boy army and we're taking all they know the valjean mallet royal broccoli twelve year old ninety seven point six proof forty eight point eight percent. Ab the brock broccoli was established in eighteen. Seventeen by captain william fraser in eighteen thirty five. Brock was the first cost to be granted. A royal warped by king william the fourth and has became known as the royal brooklyn in nineteen nineteen. The distillery left the frazier family and was sold to john. Mitchell and james left who then sold it to in one thousand nine hundred ninety six to john bissett and company and it was sold again in nineteen forty three d. c. l. priest predecessor. Today's diaz zhou. The distillery continued to operate with a highest one thousand nine hundred five thousand nine hundred ninety one until it was sold in one thousand nine hundred five to bacardi as part of that deal. That include the doers brand. This expression. we are tasting from the raw broccoli. Distillery comes from one of the first earliest batches purchased by valentine mallet when they were first starting their company and all were filled with the distillery on the same day and they have reserved the remaining casts with the plan of releasing varying ages as the experiment to compare them to give one another one other as they compare them to one another as immature. Yeah told you couldn't read band. Thanks for giving you. Try the peace and love love all right. The color is a bright gold and on the nose. I got flowers. Peaches and melons and cream and brent off. The air told me licorice any liquor. I guess this is all this genetic man. There's no there's no liquorice here. All i smell is the fruit and sweet. Creations powers having a stroke their bob. Yes one's gonna keep going. Yeah okay the mouth field. The pallet this is only costa the palate comes in with candy and melon. There's no pete there's almost almost no pizzas like maybe something in the water and it's not like a lot of pizza. Time smokes herbal notes Maybe a hint of salt. But it's quite good and it's got a medium finish medium to long i'm feeling all over my palate. It it just keeps mid palate and then goes back and i could just smell. Listen drink this all day. And i'm not a huge fan of oil brock. Low that the ones we get in the united states but valentine mallet here did a really great job getting some of the best qualities of royal broccoli and bringing them out this twelve year old. Daryl morey what do you think. Well as much as i hate to agree with you harm i think you nailed it will. That's true too. I really think you nailed it all the way around. I really don't have a whole lot to add. I thought okay. Moving out utah. Liquorice was was not very. You really had to dig to find in. And i really was. But some people get like brent liquid got liquid. Get that but other than that. I really thought you were right on. I love the mouth feel. It has a really interesting layered palate. I thought it was delicious. It was all day separate short. I've had royal brock la from the distillery. Private once seems to be the guys doing the private barrels. Doing a better job. Just really good. I've never had royal blah broccoli before. But i really liked it. I thought it was fairly nice. He would bacardi does with it now. Because you know they've got they've got money to do to put some stuff in there justin. I thought this was a lot. Like creme brulee before you caramelized it with the torch. I really liked it. Vanilla pudding crustless vanilla pudding. Yeah he's so deep with his words so this half brew laid vanilla pudding right fire. Fire creme brulee. I even added a little bit of water and i still get that liquorice liquorice a little bit of water. You know what it kind of gives me like a like a fresh cut crash on on the pal millar dan. It really comes out a little bit earlier and thinks maybe it's more fresh disclosure fresh similar crass grass. It's subtle but it's on the finish. Did you say milord yeah. What's wrong with you man. Six you insane. Maybe some mild post traumatic stress disorder drinks a lot. So i think i've got a pretty good handle on in my life to anyway. This this is lovely staff. Though this is this is one of the better raw brac was i've ever had as well. I think this is absolutely fantastic. Taste older stuff it's got it's got a great mouth feel it's gotten it's just you know just this and slight bit oiliness to it It's got just the slightest hint of smoke in the back. It's got that really saltiness on the front pal. What a bit of paper a little bit of spice but the flowers and the sweet s up for it. Just it's just so well done just had a simple water. That pepper is still there. It's coming at the got along finish. Yeah it's yeah this one's and it's it's gotten better since we've opened it. So yeah so. We're going to be ready to from great tha better. I thought it was really nice when i first opened it. And it's just only gone up from there. Yeah some of them are closed the open them and then they really improve. Yeah well we're going to be reading the village and mallet raw broccoli twelve year. A well-deserved forceps. We're going to have brent Take on the next one. Which i know he's gonna love made already going to mispronounce half the stuff in here so yeah so. This is a valid out okay. I'm going to help you out here. Ellison oracle's brooke lodhi. It's spelled rush. Laddish bruce lada shiprock. reclining teenager one hundred eight point two proofs of fifty four point one percent aby. This one's got a little bit of kick to it so the brooklyn was established in eighteen. Eighty one by the harvey family scottish family with a long history in the scotch business. the family ran brooke. Lodhi until william harvey's death in nineteen thirty six. It was subsequently changed hands several times and continued in operation until nineteen ninety four when it was mothballed in two thousand serie was purchased by private investors who wired gym mcewen who dismantled and rebuilt the story retaining the original victorian era equipment originally installed by the harvey family unlike modern stories for cloudy gravity fed and has no computer controls relying instead on the art and skill of their stiller's. This story sold in two thousand and twelve to remain contro. Their cloudy to serie produces namesake malt as well as work charlotte appeared malt and the superheated whiskey. Astamour sounds sounds tomorrow might moore might kill brits right the expression we have today from for fifteen years in experts zero wind so the the color of this is a very very like a white wine kind of color to it On the nose. I get a little bit of i get a little bit of grapes and prunes but the most thing i get his. I get like a burnt match. Knows you say sulfur. I say it's a bird match is what i say and And then an unappealing. It's just the what doesn't work for me. It's a popcorn. But i come tasting burnt matched with the popcorn a burnt poppy seed or something like that or i got some robbery notes to sis not at this one. This is not for me. I can tell you that one. That's not you know if you're a bourbon drinkers new nowhere near it. So worried what do you think of this one. Well i think you're pretty spot on the burnt match and sulfur smell overpowers to palate. Assuming the knows a little bit on the pallet. I do like the sweet and salty popcorn. But there's definitely a sultry taste. That really kind of drags on a little bit. And i thought that was on shining putting it's unusual to beginning. I wasn't sure if it was different. This is different. But i think the more i drink it the more i realize that it's to me. It's it's got a flaw. I think it was a bad barrel. The barrel had too much sulfur. And i think it's flawed the whiskey. The back base whiskey. I think is quite nice. But i love back laudi but this is not gratias while all this tastes about as much bureaucratic coke taste like brooklyn. So it's this is completely different but i. I don't put it on your gums if people per person oregon now. It's i think that this is. I think they took the the madeira casks and a lotta times wrestling with the hell out of it rather than shipping them wet refrigerated in order to keep from going bad. They will use a self quick and go in there to kill the microbes. And i think they just way over desert on this one because it sulfur sulfur. Sulfur on top of sulfur It might have been a lovely underneath it but there's so much aren't match sulfur. Note on it. you can't really get through it and even tasted sutton. Sometimes that's self will blow off with time. It has had these our. Yeah if it's if it's a light so for note a lot and see if it helps again there's not enough water in south lawn for you. It's and again if it's a light. Sulfur no like you said. Sometimes it will blow off this. This is not going to blow off. It's there's oftentimes mccallum is flawed by that. When you open a brand new bottle of macallan sulfur let that sit for a while any trick that you can use like you can with the cork taint with the cell. Phone is reading dr something brand. Frankly if you pour off some of the bottle you drink later and you give us some head space and give it a month or so. That software will go away. I mean i used to show people how overly suffered bottles tastes forgot about this bottle. And i was asked to describe it and i put some of this whiskey for everybody at the table and we were all blown away. How good it was. And i was like upset because this was not supposed to be a good whiskey so pulled one off the shelf open fresh and it smelt like burnt matches. So maybe this one just needs to be open as year does this is gonna take a while to taste the madera madera. That's sweet and salty popcorn era just under the sulfur. Just anything besides us. I'd probably just now moving right along. I appreciate giving this when a few weeks to air out because right now. It's just like your dirty laundry. The village mallet brooklyn fifteen year. Two subs that there's it starts with cloudy which is again always wonderful. Matt this is just. It's i'm going to. I'm going to leave. I'm gonna leave this thing over sir for a while and then we'll see we can always come back. We'll come back to this bottle in a couple of months since he how they had spaces help also with next one. That we've got is the valentine mallet. Tom do twenty year. One hundred six point six proof three point. Three percent a b We done tom do distillery on here before. They were founded in eighteen. Ninety seven i barrett came up stills in eighteen ninety eight the distillery operated continuously for over one hundred years except for a twenty year hiatus nineteen twenty seven and nineteen forty seven. The production was continued until two thousand and ten when the edmonton group closed them. It remained closed until it was sold to he and mcleod stiller's resume production a single malt in two thousand thirteen. Tom do means little dark. Hell in gaelic. The current production tom do as matured in sherry casks all sherry. That was one thing. I liked madame everything that they do. It's all sherry casks. They're not all. I you can tell them the color. Yeah but this expression were drinking today. Predates that age in ex bourbon hogshead. So let me grab that one more. Where's the bottle right in front of me. pay on the knows. It's just it's beautiful. It's just sweet. Sweet flowers like some apricots honeysuckle sweet white flowers and a field and then on the pal almost jasmine to drop of water on the power. That's a great mouth. Feel it's got a real nice viscosity. It's not oily There's just enough in there to give it. That had that coat. And it's huge caramel sweetness. Honey some white pepper spice toward the back. And it's got a really lovely finish. It goes on and on fantastic whiskey. Fantastic what you think breath. Yeah this has got a great feel to it as well. You know so when you when you when you smell it. She get the those fruits and you get that the flowery notes and it kind of really like lures and right away and then when you put this on the pallet i was like this one is really good. You know right away. It's like you reminded me. Oh yeah you'd like to tam distillery back. You've been a fan of them for a while so not you no. We did that ham to show it was. It was four five expressions from them and he every single one of what one day was. Phya bala scott as you got a little bit of Hip a day. Does you know what i like about this. One is like a barrier on the palate. You've got like a little nice little like ginger spice to it. You know kind of like for the finish which really really shines through which which is kind of nice marianne known maryanne but a nice little ginger gilligan's island came in earlier. Why did you say more. You know i agree with what's been said. I think it's beautiful whiskey. It's got a wonderful news. I love the viscosity on the palate. It's got layers complexity. It's it's really delightful. You could drink it all day. It will appeal to a broad range. It's certainly complex interesting and I really liked it. I i really i. I'd come back to back in the day. Tim do used to get a really bad rep david. There's there's a lot of them out there. You know when brown form and ended up with three distilleries thank god and and and rachel berry went in and waited out the bad ones and they've been having fantastic stuff come out. Tom doesn't one. tam does one. That's been making great scotch. But i think they just had some people just selling you know not barrels. 'cause i've had a wada. Single barrel stuff from them through the scotch whisky society over the years and everyone we had them like. These are fantastic. They make really good whiskey there especially the stuff. That's in the sherry barrels. This isn't even sherrod and sherry up now. all. I know sheriff. Yeah what did you think. Justin san additional. What everyone else said. I got minty note. That menthol note on the palate and peppermint finish. I've never had three of these notes and any spirit and it's really good. I'll actually what will you drink all. But i don't get the peppermint finish. Yeah i don't know what you're drinking submission mouthwashes scope. The you had this morning on the finish. And i think that menthol note that you had earlier is affecting you. It's a white pepper. Could be that acid. He drop during the last commercial so we recorded a show earlier. Where he was doing a bob dylan tech the white pepper on the palate. But i still get the distinct minty menthol peppermint finish to i. It's subjective man. Yeah i'm not gonna kick you out of the show many scope today what you think are i. I've got nothing to add. this is. this is good. I've been interjecting through this whole thing. There's this is good whiskey. I want more bring it bring it okay. Fine then gimme some. Where's the ball. I want to a fresh fresh poor. Well you got about a minute to get it done so down down wanted but this is something that that if you're not you're not a scotch drinker you can just sit back and enjoy it. I mean this. This is a good introduction to scotch for somebody else most attended this come out lately. The good stuff is ten years old. They got a twenty year. Old batch and stuff from twenty years ago was not good so valjean mallet picked good stuff. And that's where these private bottlers really shine because twenty years ago stuff coming from tammy wasn't worth well but what you're underscoring is the fact that picked barrels whether they be independent bottler picks or store picks or private group picks are always going to be a step up and in this case. It's a big step up to the store seeking out commercial. These guys were in. florida is worth seek. How questions. Valentine mallet in florida at all not yet i don't believe so we're going to write the voucher mallet. Tom do twenty four. A and we're back and we're still talking about some of these. Lovely scotch is from ballots and mallet. Have just tell us about our next one next one. We have is the balance in mallet inch cower. Twenty-one year it's one hundred five point six proof or fifty two point eight percent alcohol by volume the distillery was built in eighteen. Seventy one. The inch cowardice. Stiller is built by alexander wilson company to replace the touch. Neil distillery probably kill that one. They continue to correct. Yeah continue to operate until alexander wilson and company went bankrupt in nineteen thirty six. The bucky town council purchased the property for sixteen hundred pounds and subsequently sold the property to arthur bell and sons ltd nineteen. Thirty eight for three thousand pounds could deal. Yes it's money. Nineteen sixty six. The distiller renovated expanding the number of stills from two to four the whiskey produce there has traditionally been a major component of the bells. Whisky blends which is huge in the uk. We just can't get them here as well. As a component johnny walker blends this expression. We are tasting. Today was age. An expert in hogshead. Johnnie walker johnnie walker somewhere. The nose was floral and fruity. I got green apple rose pedals citrus notes with a little bit of jasmine and mall on the palate. Peach pear grilled pineapple. Apricot floral notes rose and lavender. I found this was a pretty floral spirit. But did you think more. I agree with you. I love the knows. I think you've had it spot on the nose on the pallet. I loved the tropical fruits It's definitely fruity and floral on the palate. But not exactly like some flora whiskies tastes. Are you drinking perfume bottle perfume more. I thought that was kind of perfume. The finish this is. I thought it was delightful. I really enjoyed this. I think it was a nice segue after the tam do again. It's got layers complex. Mike yes boss. Couldn't hear you do. i like what. What did you find wrong with harm. I finding wrong with it. I enjoyed every inch car ever had. But i've never had one directly from the distillery used as a blending mall like from this this brand apparently people call johnny walker. You might have heard of that one and of course bells. But i've never had an inch scar from the distiller Release i've only had these private releases and it's always been small releases. Like this single cask brent. You have the paperwork. Hundred twenty six bottles released. Twenty six padre whiskey in the world. So that's an issue as release. Yeah there might be some others. That's probably that's probably a single barrel. Maybe that us would that. This is us release. Okay so under. Twenty six bottles in u. p. That can be home barrel at twenty one years. Yeah it's a hogs very much. Yeah it's it's probably a quarter of it okay so anyway you hundred twice expulsion. The us every car has awesome. The thing is you guys are going on about that knows to me. It was very muted until just now it took some time for that air came out and now i'm smelling those rose pedals and that jasmine on the you finally pull the cotton plugs out of your nose. It's about time. I try to do cocaine on the weekends because this is miami and it's free in my. It's free they give it away. 'cause canes a hell of a drug who says that james has cocaine. A hill withdrew now. My nose is working. No this is great. I just i didn't. I didn't get those notes earlier but it's still finishing perfume to me so obsessed you're slow. Oh he's slow toss dealing. I got was a little bit of strawberries on this one. I got pineapple strawberries. Reach all right. Well we're going to be reading the cower twenty one year old a well-deserved forceps so we're going to move onto another one from valid in maui. We're going to harm. Tell us about that one. Thank you bob. This is the last one from thousand melt tonight. This is laudable. Eight year old ninety. Seven point six proof forty eight point eight per cent. Av av. this is my wheelhouse completely. This is what. I've been looking forward to excuse me while i just take a big old sniff jet past all the to cocaine and yet the lag will burn past all that will the color. This is light and pale gold mining color of the day. It's like a seventy one block. It's almost straw. The nose is sea salt and seaweed and nine and a little bit. A floral note would smoke a wood. Smoke on there and time bit pepper. And then the pallet won't spice smoke and pepper a little bit of peace penis. The flowers are there. it's floral as heck. I ended a couple of drops. A water sorta night and that brings added a full body that water court. We've gone through probably a case of water just for brant. Just a few drops of water brings us. Some more saltiness and the finnish goes on and on and on. I mean i'll be speak here. Brent on it yeah this is gonna kill me you know because you make a sound like a such a pleasant little journey through this you know to this field and and this is full which is a little bit of smile on the beach but this is a huge bonfire. There's nothing but smoke. You get this all smoke even when you add water. This is more underneath you. Can't i mean it's berry because of or whether or the the first one we had it was we had the smoke and we had the the pete with it and it was a balanced. This one here the. It's just overpowered by this. Compete to me you. So i don't get you can't pick up those other all the other clube do some are cocaine. That'll feel i have a yeah. Why don't they just turn their mics off. And then you can just haven't discussed. Yeah scott. i'm in love. Yeah so you have to really like that smokiness and that pd this into like this one. If you listen. If you don't like smoking. Pete you're not gonna like this. I had a sixteen year old lockable and just the other night with some friends. And that's overpower i died. That would have killed you just having in the same room. Yeah this this is sweet and light compared to that this eight year old is gorgeous like to chase him around with an octa oxymoron to see what would happen. Maury would die to a super soaker squirt him with much. Mel like the witch hunting. Of course the problem is immoral news in a super soaker. I don't think it would actually work and go through because it'd be too thick. Let's have let's here for another philistine. That'd be aware. What do you think about this that you would brandt. I am with brent. I think it's not balance. This is why they need to sit outside during the show. I think it's over power. It's over smoked. Debase whiskey is nice. But you've gotta really wait a long time for that. Smoke to blow off. I love justin. Are you with these freaks to know Before water it was imbalance. I liked it and once. They added a drop of water. It just ruined it for me. It was out of balance. And i didn't like it anymore. But if you drink a straight out of the bottle you're fine to the head. Just level report. Mike glennon carrying loss. But you know it's like the saltiness of the ocean like a bonfire with seaweed and you know clam bake and no. I don't think it's like that though i mean. That's the wrong bonfire. No i've had. I lived on the ocean. I've had i've had a bonfires with sarah nation. Which is dancing around the bonfire in my head right now. Yes yes by some blonde. Redhead's well we're gonna we're gonna watch outlander. I saw the mao waga and in spite of you a well-deserved forceps because this is fantastic whiskey. He'd been overruled philistines. So more is going to give us our last one from orphan. Barrel wi. thank you mr bob. The next expression orphan barrel mucky muck twenty four year old twenty four year old single grain scotch whisky ninety proof for forty five percent. Ab over the years diaz has merged with or acquired many distilleries and companies in the whiskey business and as part of those acquisitions. They have accumulated a very diverse inventory of whiskies. Over the years some in large quantities and other in very small quantities in two thousand fourteen. They decided to do something with all this different whiskey and the orphan barrel project was born their first three releases or old blowhard twenty old expression barter house a twenty year expression and the original rhetoric twenty year. Old these raw bourbons by the way. And they're all frigging crazy on the secondary market over the years. They have released several new whiskies. In the orphan. Barrel series of various ages and pedigrees. Gifted horse lost profit forged oak. Forgers keep and most recently the mucketty buck monkey mark is twenty four year old single grain scotch. Whisky from port. Dundas distillery originally established in eighteen ten distillery shuttered and twenty ten and joining the ranks of the lost ghost distilleries. The oldest story once housed the large pig farm with their prize. Winning pig named mucky muck where they got the name from made it out. That's just a coincidence. An ice golden color on the nose interesting. Little bits of oak fruit apples peaches vanilla on the palate It doesn't disappoint. You've got apples. With layers of pear. And ginger clove all spice coco. And then if you really just chew it up and swallow down you. Get this unbelievable rush of butterscotch. At the end it took forever for that dude. It was late but it was there. Yes there at the end and it was wonderful. This is so pleasant after that last one and life and the finishes medium to long. I thought it was a lovely whiskey. I think it's beautiful. I think. Bob stated earlier off the air grain. Whiskies are under appreciated Whiskey scotland i definitely they get a they get a real secondary billing to save blending with the meskel. Tequila is what they are yeah. They're the vodka to took canadian. Whiskies what they are they're used. They're they're used a done. Not nepad still using a column still curry made from wheat and corn. They're not made from malted barley. They used they used for making blended but the ones are delicious. Eight what you can find these asian will one. That's been age central forgotten about how some of my favorites in the bar are twenty twenty-five thirty year old have a forty five years port done. Oh but bringing out harm yeah cheap son of a share with your friends. Just what say internet porn or you're cheating on it. Just wondering i really like single grain scotch. Whisky and i really liked twenty. Listen all and there's a little bit welcome any left. It had a gorgeous finish to it. It's complex and i had a question. About what maury said earlier it could be corn or wheat in a single rains either corn or we know anything other than single so can be anything grains. Okay just doesn't have any malted barley in the nomenclature scotches we're all whiskey is made from grain right there. They're all made from grains but not malted barley. He ought to make whisky in india from shirking. Which is they can't. I don't have the ski out. But but the good stuff we. This country is all multiple. Yeah yeah decimal john. The best whiskey in the world comes. That's not but that's real malted barley corn in the foothills of the himalayas. If you can call oklahoma the foothills of the rockies but that's all market speak anyway factor this single single gaming single distillery only one distillery but it's almost always weet over there and there are some corn could actually put malted barley in it can they. I think they can. It's a great as long as a single out. I don't think they use multiple usually mostly we because we grows a lot better over there. Anyway you know especially in france and they don't grow here. we grow little secret. Lot of the grain coming scotch is actually going to northern france for the big brands. It's not all grown in scotland. You're going to get the batikhi whiskies. There'll be growing their malted barley in scotland. I really like the orphan. Barrel projects series. It's been going for a long time and a lot of them have been really good. And this one's pretty good. Yeah we've had we've had. I mean we've had quite a few of them on the show we've done gifted or not. I think we've done with my least favourite. forgers key. which was that was the fedor. Karen i think yeah and that was really good. I was like a twenty five year old. Yes 2528 and we've done. We've done a lot of the. We did the rhetoric series. We did that on the show where we did. Yeah we did like six or seven different Rex year to year to year. So i mean they've they've done some great stuff with them. I mean there's there's been some really interesting stuff. That's come out of the city oldest rhetoric. What twenty years. Old or twenty. Two twenty four twenty four. I think my favorite was that nineteen year old. Yeah they the interesting thing on. It just went up and down. You know it was not it got better every year. It got worse every year one year was good and the next year was not as good and the year after that was fantastic and denounced around. Like i like what they're doing. This is a great zero from barrels. Yes well yeah. I mean it's again you've got a really cool distillery. That's not around anymore. You've got a really great old grain whisky. I mean what's not to like about that. That's you know that's so totally in my wheelhouse this one's going to be a tough one defined. This is something you can find it. I promise not an expensive. But i mean when you say. It's a twenty four year old. You know single grain. I mean it's gonna. It's not gonna be inexpensive. So let's talk about half the price of inequality mccallum. oh yes. oh yeah yeah yeah but if you see it if you can see it in a bar and give it a try absolutely give it a try if you've the coin and the you know the patients of you know to spend it get pick up. You know fantastic whiskey. We're going to be reading. The orphan barrel mucketty mucks a well-deserved forceps food. That's off of the show for today. We hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did enjoy it please. Tap the subscribe button or the Follow us button the easiest way to listen to the show as ask siri on your phone or alexa or google or whoever. The lady is a talks to police pay. Podcasts says smokes. We'll have your feedback. You can reach us. Online at info at sips doesn't smokes dot com or daily tasting notes flat on twitter every day at simpson's smokes in our facebook page is always buzzing with lots of news you can also interact with the thousands of other fans no media platforms. Do us a favor and please take the time to write this episode. Big help to us. And we get your feedback as well. You can check out. Brent morin myself on facebook at the bourbon mafia. The bergman mafias a nonprofit organization composed of bourbon enthusiasts industry professionals representations in eight states to countries are members combined of bourbon with a passion for charitable. They're all made man. He raised thirty thousand dollars for for colon cancer. So i mean. I know you actually do charity work. I appreciate that. I want to thank our coast joining us today. Thank you brent. It's a pleasure to be here. you can unlock me. No yeah okay thank you thank you bob. Another awesome day in the basement. Thank you justin. Thank you bob. 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Ep 68: Hometown: A conversation about race with LaToyia Brown, Monica Pickens, and Danielle Williams

10 Things To Tell You

1:08:41 hr | 1 year ago

Ep 68: Hometown: A conversation about race with LaToyia Brown, Monica Pickens, and Danielle Williams

"I'm Laura Tremaine and I have ten things to tell you. Any! You have ten things to tell. This show is about connection with each other and with ourselves, and the hope is that the things we talk about here will be fuel for better conversations and a personal awareness. This is an interactive podcast. Each episode has a prompt and a topic that I want you to take to journal text to your best friend or answer on social media using the Hashtag ten things to tell you. This is a show about digging deeper and sharing our stuff I'll go i. Welcome to this episode of the ten things to tell you podcast the conversation today is something that has been in the works for years now and I was so glad to finally record it with a few of my hometown friends last week. If you've been around my blog or podcast very long at all. You know that I grew up in small, town Oklahoma. Technically for most of my childhood I lived in a small small town called MMA, dill population four thousand. But for lengthy reasons that don't have anything to do with what we're talking about today. I went to school and eventually lived in a town called ardmore. which honestly by home standards? It's not really that small the population. There's about twenty five thousand. But comparative to cities and suburbs. Small community. Ardmore is located on interstate thirty five. It's about halfway between Oklahoma, city and Dallas, so I grew up having to drive nearly two hours to get to an airport, but we all get out to the lake and just fifteen minutes. I've lived in Los Angeles for almost nineteen years now, but growing up in Oklahoma. It's just a huge huge part of my identity, and it is something that I talk and write about a lot. And a few years ago in twenty, seventeen I flew back to Oklahoma for my twentieth. High School Reunion. Yes you can do the math I. AM forty years old. I thought that the reunion was going to be fun, but it really ended up. Amazing mainly because I got reacquainted with some of the women that I'd grown up with, but basically hadn't really kept up with besides maybe being facebook friends in decades, and we just had the best time together, laughing and reminiscing immense so so much. About six months after that high school reunion is when I started to create the racial bias series with my friend. Yasmeen on my former podcast called smartest person in the room. Now if you don't already know about it, the bias series on smartest person in the room. It's an eight episode conversation between friends. I am a white woman, my friend, yes, mean is a black woman and we met in our book club. She taught me so much the history behind the racial divide that we were seeing in America. This was after the death of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown, and then the riots, Ferguson. And I was trying to better understand what was happening. Yes, means suggested that we make some of our private conversations public on my podcast at the time, and so we did. It was a really transformative time for me. Personally I learned a lot. I asked a lot of awkward questions. And as the protests are happening around the country now. I can see you. Guys are still sharing that series and I really hope that it is helpful to people who are listening a few years later. I will link to that by a series from twenty eighteen in the show notes. Now because I started making that series just a few months after our high school reunion at the time I reached out to some of my hometown friends most of them I've known since I was like eleven or twelve years old and I ask if we could get together in person to record a conversation about what their experience was like growing up in our hometown. By, then I was really learning that to stand people's experience. You have to ask them about it. Books are great. Movies are great I love hearing other people's stories in general, but to connect on a relational level to really understand someone or something. Nothing beats actually talking about it with them. And because some of these women were black, I really wanted to understand what their perspective was on our hometown, the Education Sports Church and lots of things. I was trying back then to make that. Conversation happened in person, and we never could find a time that worked while we were all in town, and so it just didn't end up happening and it didn't make it into the original bias series. But that same group of us has been chatting over Messenger during the coronavirus lockdown in the last few months, and so when these current protests started happening around the country in reaction to the murder of George Floyd I asked the ladies if we could have that conversation, and just do it over zoom instead, and three of them were able to join me last week. La. Toya Brown Monica pickens and Danielle Williams were so gracious to talk with me about growing up in small town Oklahoma. When and where they felt discrimination was present. What was taught in their homes in churches how we think about some of these issues now versus when we were children, what we're all teaching our kids when it's appropriate to even have conversations about race and bias. I am so grateful that they were willing to share themselves here with me. This show this podcast is all about connection through conversation, and this particular conversation is vulnerable and imperfect, because we are all humans. You will hear more than one of us have little revelations as we talk through some of the stuff and memories come back and opinions get really honest. At the beginning of the episode I left in a lot of our hometown specific stuff, we talk about our different elementary schools and some neighborhoods in town. These are the kind of details that I would usually cut because they don't make much sense to the general audience, but I left it in because I. Think you can hear us sort of working through some stuff together as we sort out our perspectives, a little bit in the beginning, and that's real conversation. Is You know inside? Left it in so that you can get a feel for the big picture? To quick caveats, this call was recorded over zoom with all four of us different places, so the audio isn't amazing. It kind of drops out a few times. There's sometimes some background noise. I hope that you'll bear with me on the sound quality front and another treat you will hear my Oklahoma accent back in full force, even more than usual when I am talking to other means. No apologies I just don't want you to be surprised. I had no idea what these women were going to say about our hometown. When I pressed record, the entire conversation was a surprise, but I'm so glad that we had it I encourage you to reach out to people in your life, people that you are already in relationship with and genuinely asked them about their life about their childhood and their perspective conversation is the key to connection, and so I present to you this one. Hey, guys, thank you so much for being here with me and having this. This interesting I hope conversation on the show. I've been wanting to do this for a couple years so I super. Appreciate you taking the time to talk to me this week. I Y you guys first to introduce yourself. Let's just start with toy. Add tell us just a little bit about yourself. Kind of like who you are now because we're going to do a whole throwback to our childhood and our hometown, but just talk to us a little bit about who you are these days missile Toya. Okay, so hello, everyone! I'm Toya Brown I of course. Originally from Oklahoma since then I have transitioned to Texas where I currently live. I have four beautiful children, and you know I'm down here. Loving the Texas live, I would call myself in a sparring actress, so you know. I have some plays under my belt I know that, yes, no. Some of the ladies back in March came down to support the play that I was in. It was very awesome. According to them I have one coming up in November so I'll get with you later on that Laura. So I'm just enjoying. The Texas life in and trying to stay on the stage. I love that so much. Okay, Monica Towel ask a little bit about you and who you are these days. Well I'm Monica pickens and I am a proud mother of a freshman in college We live here in Oklahoma City area. I am prior military a on now in oil and gas industry in so I do regulatory compliance for a energy company here and other than spending time with friends and family. Fund raisers and anything dealing with my son. That's pretty much what I do so i. look forward all my friends and family all the time. Okay, and now we had a new friend join Stan Yell. I talk. To. Do you just want to introduce yourself for the listeners and tell us a little bit about who you are these days? I'm Danielle Williams. I'm forty one. I have one child. His name is Mary H.. And I work at a doctor's office right now and I. Really like it. Yeah, I live here in Ardmore Oklahoma steal them pretty much. All I got on. Okay, so I'm so happy to have you three ladies here with me because you know. We got reacquainted at our twenty year high school reunion, which was in running seventeen and ever since then I've wanted to sit down and talk to you because we have. A shared experience in that we grew up in the same town, but the more I learn, the more I understand. I realized that. In fact, we probably had very buried different experiences growing up in ardmore. Oklahoma, which is a really small town in the southern part of Oklahoma and you know I guess I. Just want to be able to ask you some questions about it. Because when I was growing up, I was taught, you know the etiquette was impolite to say anything about race to say anything about color to ever acknowledge that there was a difference or not difference or like. Basically we just tried to not. Acknowledge it at all and. I understand that I think mostly came from a well meaning place of white people trying to pretend that they were. Not Noticing or something by. Now I understand that that is. Very unfair to you to you know kind of whitewash it out. SORTA take this part of your life and your experience out of the conversation so I guess I wanted to ask about some of these things. Let's start in elementary school. Let's just start in child. I went to Lincoln which was all white. I cannot think if I had a black classmate. Where did you guys go to elementary school? I was at Franklin, so I went. I started Franklin finish that Franken elementary I went to. We're Rogers I went to Franklin for two years till my second grade year and then I to row. Rogers were meal toy met. Brett will play going to real rogers like you said you went to Lincoln and Guess Lincoln was known as majority white community. Real, Rogers and Charles Evans Charles Evans was one of those ones back then to me, was my Jr. already the white keys real rogers I felt like it was my Jordi white as well, but you had our speckles of the the different colors, so we was a little bit more versatility, will rogers, but all in all what ruled reuss was the majority of the white he is, you know what I'm saying, so what I mentor you in maybe about three or four other black kids that went to school there. I was excited, but it did it again I didn't really care white or black. I was always like everybody. But I did notice the difference at young ages that. If you went to Lincoln, you must be why if you go to Franklin. That's where all the black kids go. Wall I was GONNA ask about that because. Even at that Young Age, I also knew that Lincoln was all white, and that Franklin was all black and to me. That's these are public. Schools were talking about, said a reflection of the way. The town is split up in two neighborhoods. and. That even think about that. I didn't neither. So it is true. But didn't. Did you have majority? Classmates Monica. I had a lot but I also a lot of white students with me. Because my neighborhood was, there was a lot of whites in my neighborhood, I lived on Gee Street northeast so when I went to Franklin Dowse, the neighborhood I lived in which was predominantly black, but when we moved to will Rogers district. That's win s why so I feel like Franklin was part of that quote, unquote the hood. And I guess I just never even really looked at that like that, but you never thought of the neighborhoods as being divided like split up in no I knew that, but just like not that we had majority of the black kids at Franklin like that I just didn't put that until we just literally said that I mean I, think about it because I felt like it was i. get so mixed right very well for me growing up I. I knew that this from you know just counted behavior. I knew I, didn't WanNa go to Franklin because of the myth of it being. Who could or you know low income or just you know that type of kids? They're bad kids so going to Rogers I. Really Thought I was kind of in a better school. Better School. Yeah, yeah! I feel like I was in a better school and then I always new Lincoln was kind of for me. It was like out of touch. Lincoln was never an option right this because that's where the you know if you will upper echelon. Is. We went to so I never had. I've never knew that was an option. I was actually happy with were Rogers though because it was a lot of diversity in like my childhood of learning and being most. It was it was all pay wasn't. We were outnumbered, but he it where it was so much, so that I couldn't relate to anybody. You know work, so I will. Rogers was a happy medium between Franklin and late. And maybe even Charles Evans so if you don't mind me asking, where do you think you got the idea about like? You knew you didn't WanNa? Go to Franklin and you felt like Lincoln was out of reach. Is that something your parents talked about? People joke about it in the community like where I mean you know our schools didn't. Really intermingle. They didn't have sports that played each other yet. Or whatever so like. Where did you get that idea? Okay, so so you're familiar with the agency Wilson send communities. uh-huh! Okay so at the community center bats place was just everything for me growing up because you know. A lot of black children attended their after school, and we all hung out. No matter what school you went to after school, we would all come there you know. And it was free of charge and free free. After school snacks in a free activities in all of that good stuff so naturally we would all hang out, but then we would have those discussions, or you know just child talk. Go to school. Yeah where you go to school and so when you find out that people that you know go. They go to a different school if Maybe, there's there were shared experiences all. We had a fight over here. They had a fighter. They did this and I was thinking. I. Don't WanNa. Go to that. Let's go into this childhood. Talk. I would say childhood talk to, but you know that will. You would go into a different environment. There is probably an adult at that time. May it said you know that's where all the white kids go? Are This? Is You know you don't want to? You know saying I feel like maybe I did maybe here that at home, but it wasn't enforced or anything like it was just idiots. What it is you know. Maybe it was say, but it wasn't i. was. It said like we are not going to hang out. WE'RE NOT GONNA go to the park in that neighborhood, because that's a white neighborhood like was it explicitly stated like that's a white neighborhood. We're not going. They're not necessarily in a bad way or maybe in a bad way I don't know like. What's the talk around that? I don't feel like I can only say this about my black environment that I lived in as I grew up with a black single mother, and to be honest, which my mom never talked about. Racism are a difference. We all were created same. She didn't say oh. That quote unquote white person. You know what I'm saying. It wasn't really talked about now. Mind you. I'm not GONNA lie now. Maybe there was maybe every blue moon you might hear. The were white shrimp or something like that, but as far as like racism are pointed out. Don't hang around with that girl because she's lying or anything like that. There was never an issue at all because it was never brought up because we're. To me. We're the type of culture that don't see. Nothing different about nobody else to me. In my mom still with me, were I mean I have violation child I mean? Honestly I didn't see color. You know so I feel like my mom never taught me to see different colors. She's always taught me to love everybody. Monica one about you and your home life like did your. Family members. Our community culture sort of talk about like. Racism are more or like. We are black. They are why like what was the what was sort of taught to you in that way? Okay Laura. Out My little bottle, heart feelings from back in when I was young. That I went through a lot of I gas, you can say. family because I always. more with white people than I did with black people. It's just me. This is why it's been so for me. Bomb New and I was always able to go out to a friend's House that live in plain view, staying spend weekends and stuff like that so I used to get teased though from my family for years, and so I had to deal with that for a long time. I mean we're good now that it really bothered me because I would get made fun of for like Avenue. Are. Went. Why people on or that's what my family members with you a you you you know, but at the time back then I. Don't think it was such a big deal. I was Gonna say that because when I blatantly remember my childhood, my best friend, she was white, so I never failed. Even though I knew there was a distinction as far as. The white over there the black over there. There's a mixture of the school that I was at, but it never was in. It wasn't like a Clinton. Play with someone or couldn't interact with someone because of their skin color at that age at that. I knew that we were you know we were different, but. I knew that I felt like you know that they get the white people or Lincoln. Kids got to do more because their parents were. You know wealthier have more money because you know. I grew up in poverty, so I knew from just an economic standpoint that there was a difference as far as color and stuff, but not just, but not that I didn't have access to play in talk and interact and love, and all of that with other white kids and stuff. And it sounds like it kind of sounds like you're saying. It wasn't even necessarily. Overtly tied to race like it was maybe more tied to money absolutely. Yeah Yeah I would say that I would say that to in armour's environment it may be different somewhere else, but our personal experience. I would say was all about the money. Yeah, but actually so encouraged to hear this. Because what it sounds like you're saying is that your family's in your community? Even if they teased you I, know want to consider they teach you, but they were. There was not like an overly. If, feeling that you could be couldn't be friends with rance way. There couldn't be comfortable with with white people. Did you ever get the feeling? 'cause sounds like you all had white friends and staff. Did you ever get the feeling that that that generosity was reciprocated that the white families were also saying I? Don't care who you're friends with to their kids I have one particular friend that will do I will say we're name. They I would not say their name. and. Have had to deal with not. Being is not being okay with being hanging with flatly. For whatever reason it came through like high school this. One her parents were okay with me, but not okay with other people. Other black kids dating mistreat me, but it was never okay for her to discount mingle with other kids, and definitely was not supposed to be a dating situation right right. I was Gonna get to dating in a second I. Feel like I was pretty ignorant to a lot of this stuff until I guess Middle School High School. And, so in our small town there's all these elementary schools, and then they come together or sixth grade in the middle school. Goes through high school, and so as all the schools come together, then that's when I guess I started to be more aware of when it might have been perceived as problematic in the community was the dating thing it wasn't. Other black kids. My parents never said a single racist thing that I can ever imagine in my whole life. But when other kids started dating when? Girls started dating. White Geyser. It seemed more often maybe because I just knew them better. The white girl started dating. Dating a black man, okay Farley! It was. Just, white girls the White House. They a black boys, and asked when I feel like genuinely when I started to to win, parents would have a problem with it, or there would be some drama around it. That's when I realized like Oh. That's mean that's like blatant racism. If you don't want your kid. You know what I mean and said that's and I was pretty old. I mean I would have been a teenager by the time that I was. Aware of that happening, so let's just get to that part. Will maybe back then I mean you gotTa think that was twenty six years ago? Maybe I was a little. Had Been Judgmental about some of that going on because. It's not necessary was taught in the home, but it was just what it was you. I'm date black man in you today, the white man or woman whatever I mean. It was Kinda light. It wasn't discussed, but it was almost like you already know that's supposed today I can have all the different color friends that you. Hang! You know what I'm saying. I knew that I probably need to bring a black man home. You know what I'm saying. Do I. think that my family would have been different now because I have other family members have brought a white girl home. We've always made me feel welcome way. Black communities are as they don't care what. You can come only it, but I did feel that I needed to probably bring a black man hall because I felt like at that time. That was probably the best bet I needed to do now when it started becoming. Obviously that you're noticing a lot more did I become a little relaxed about it. Yes, because I started seeing it more when I started happening. I did feel some kind of way at that time now. If it would have happened today in in time now, I would have been much better understanding. UNCON- with nap was I have no choice but to be Kuwit abroad white boy home and had a child with them. You say it, so I have to stop. My words ally my bills a lot because I do have if I racial child and I have to be. With having a BI racial child, even though I was already, but I got to be more understanding because he straight up says he's both gate, one or the other. He's both if that's what so. But I do believe that like I was just talking to. While ago like she had roping into that society is not gonNA. Look, at my chow, as both race. You'RE GONNA look at him as a black boy man, or whatever so she asked me. Why did you not stay? Which are Y boyfriend? At the time we were boyfriend girlfriend I said. You know why because I feel like. He didn't understand where I was coming from as a black warm. And so that kind of deteriorated our relationship because I felt like he didn't understand. Some of the I was going. You know what I'm saying in which he agreed on, he was like I didn't. I didn't know I didn't know you know what I'm saying so. Dating. I'm okay witty is if you're going to get in a relationship with a black man are white. Want Vice Versa whatever I want you to understand us. You know what I'm saying. Our Understanding Ju where you coming from where I'm coming from and be able to deal with that. As let's say, majority are white with black man. You GotTa understand where this man is going to be treated. How your children's going to be treated in what's Daily struggles? He has to go through going to work vehicle I. Mean just you know being a black mate. So that's the only issue I might have have is that if you're going to be a different race, know where they come from. No their struggles. Toya. Do you have thoughts on when the teenagers started dating? Different races. So let me back to like middle school ish going into high school. Personally I remember when I had my first little crush. On a white boy at the time I was wrong like I couldn't like him. It wasn't necessarily because my home life said no, don't date white. It was because of other people. Seem. To, FROWN UPON IT! You know what I mean I wasn't as comfortable, and that's kind of my first experience, developing the thought that it's not okay to interracial date, and then also another guy that I ended up having a crush on. From the white side of it I don't know if I was necessarily good enough for it was a hair thing I just felt like I didn't have. The white long hair used to put towels on my hair, growing up because I wanted white hair and I started that that was the way that you know that's how you get the white guy hair thing and i. know that sounds so crazy, but. That you will was just a big thing. Here is a big culture thing from a black perspective, and so I just felt like if I had that kind of silky hair, look than the white guy would want me in for whatever reason I just had a crush on him, but it never went any further than just a crush because. It wasn't openly accepted, or if it was accepted, it just felt uncomfortable, so I remember you know getting into high school. And I ended up dating a white guy. In I remember, we went out to eat at a restaurant in the looks that we got, it was so bad just from the tension that I failed in just the looks and stuff, or maybe even whispers that i. no longer was like I'm not. This is not for men, so even with that I kind of developed that even into my adulthood, even though love has no color. Even though I don't consider myself to be a racist, but because the world does not accept a racial so easily, don't want. I don't want my children to date outside of their race, not because I wouldn't accept it, but because of it's going to be so difficult. In this day and time winch, just like Danielle said I I don't have a biracial child, but I'm about to have a biracial grandbaby. In so that is definitely has opened up my eyes like you know what is going to be a whole lot of protection that's going to have to take place, because even though you know where the parents may accept it or whatever, but there's somebody along that best bloodline. Does. I grew up way back when that does not understand you know what I mean so dating to me is like it's like stick to your race. You know what you can't help who you love, right? Oh, I try to encourage that with my kids and my people. That I love you love you love. Don't worry about people, but that's easier said than done. Definitely is, did you? Did any of you ever feel? Unsafe in Ardmore on the east side. You might be new. Into the wrong. We was Kinda note I did see. Unsafe because back in the day whenever I was growing up is so different from today so back in the day we were walking the streets cases as they do not walk. They don't know what that means, but we I mean it was a pleasure to get out and walk to the park. Walk to the store or you know we will be in the. The streets and there never was like well earlier on. It wasn't like a danger thing, but as we got into like Middle School, and then the violence kind of picked up on the east side, there were shootings different drug activity, going on I wasn't necessarily exposed to it because I, had parents who very strict there was curfews. They didn't play them games. Like that but I knew there were other kids who other more scared than I was because I had protection. A sense of my parents were in my life both of them. That for me was Kinda my protection most I wasn't living in fear, even though I knew that there was some bad things happening on the side that I lived on Wine Murray. Were you guys involved in? Church culture growing up. Yeah, a little. Girl. Which Voice Which? Vacation Bible School. That was an usher at the choir. Though yes, I mean church was definitely embedded in from growing up to. A today. Near, very very important in even in that in and I will say this, Laura. Lord knows I love God with all my heart, but in my adult personal opinion Sunday is the most segregated day of the week meaning that we all to our own individual churches people who believe whatever you know, but we all go to our own individual churches in Alabama initial segregated, because heaven is not gonna be separated like that, but we do. congregate with majority, wider, majority, black, or mix churches and stuff like that, but it's just so separated, but yet churches definitely embedded in me. I knew across attracts in Ardmore. That was you know that's what we call this White Church? We don't. We didn't go to the White Church. We went to the. By churches, you know it would just like. We praise and worship different. We kinda believe different I think we love the same guy, but the way that we praise and worship was different growing up. I would go you know the stigma of come into a black church. White people will feel like you're going to be there all day. The White Church. You know it's going to be boring. They're not going to be you know in so bad stigma growing up as far as church you know. Experience OV- experienced, too. So I went to a majority white church in be in which I mean prior to that we majority black charts, but the end when my mom moved to town, and we move schools, and what night we started going to a predominantly white church, which really was just me and my aunt and my cousins, and we would only people there. And I enjoyed air, but I noticed that when I went to my black church tiny. You know totally different I. Feel like were uplifted at our church built at the White Church. You know that I mean. I experienced bowls. Do I feel like they're both different? Yes, but you know at the end of the day. They everybody loved God. You know it's a different experience. Always this experience. Okay, so, but what about in highschool I know? We're jumping around a little bit I'm kind of tracking through time as we're getting older and then in high school. It was still you know a little scandalous. If people dated outside of their race, but I ha- I can remember a couple of pretty prominent couples right now and so I guess. Maybe we started to get used to it, or it just wasn't shocking, or whatever, because there was some longtime couples. If you'll remember like, so, it started to sort of feel. You know not as a thing to think about so much anymore, but what I did notice. And I'm embarrassed to tell this story, but I'm to say. You is that. This cliche thing happened in Highschool in football world basketball world where? The athletes a lot of the best athletes were black. And then a lot of the all period, all of the cheerleaders and drill team and band like all of that was row row eight. and. I just started to notice like. If! You're a really good athlete in Oklahoma that's like celebrity status. And then there it was just a after the dating thing I think that's the next step of being of feeling like maybe people are being treated differently or looked at differently. The and then here's the embarrassing story when I really started like actually talking about, it was because. On the drill team which I had been on which drill team is like pom squad. We got one black person and that poor girl. Of course you guys now are. We. Pepper her with questions on the drill team bus go into some away game for two hours. We would just. Drive, her absolutely nuts I'm sure because we would ask for all kinds of questions, a little bit like I'm asking you now, but it was less appropriate like about her church about. You know decided town she lived on about I mean and they were well meaning. You're the waiter. Is that a perm or is that your real hair? Remember that we were on drill team together. So after that first initial person got there what after that? We gave out two or three, because I remember Maka Gera- she was on drill team senior year there ended up in. A Name Soya Mantra and somebody else was on their sneak, Colbert. Chime say on that I. WanNa you bring that up Laura I. Remember like you said it was. It was like. The black athlete whenever you know you were Kinda, like celebrity like you are very popular, and all of that good stuff, but a lot of their girlfriends tended to be white, and so I was like I'm going out for the drill team you know. I remember are trying out and audition for the drill team in initially I didn't make it and there were several black girls that tried out. Just remember that little era of us was going to make it, and I remember there only be into in to the names. You guys have already mentioned and my mom and another parents mom, one of the ladies who made it her mom and my mom, and a couple of other parents went to the administration building, and you know had a meeting about. Why is the ratio of black girls that tried out for this drill team? It's only two of them versus all of the ones that tried out. I did not know this can't remember what it's called. I had personal experience with dance audit. Make it Toyota. I mean we was I? Bet We was about six or seven deep. Come in to try out for the drill team. What is it called? Laura whenever you you don't you don't quite make it bit your conduct. The runner up like you're the next arsenic alternative. Yeah, so I wasn't alternate, right? When might when our parents went to the administration building and kind of had a meeting about you know. Was it a racial thing? Why some of these girls? There's only two one there and there were several that try out. I ended up getting on I. Don't know if you knew that Laura, but that's how I ended up. Getting on the squad based off of that meeting. I didn't know that because I never knew about that meaning. Yes, and so I ended up getting on drill team, but I remember thinking at that point, not only am I different, but I'm so privileged. You know what I'm saying in. So that was another defining moment of the black and white thing and the power, and the you know what I mean because I felt like white girls. Girls have to try as hard because their parents were were dominated in the community who had money, and that took precedence over some black girl from across the tracks. WHO's GonNa? Be on the team. So, what did you feel like first of all? I had no dance experience and I made it so I'm here to tell you right now that there was something unfair about the situation. Humor so awesome! But. Tell me how you felt once you were on like. Did you feel welcome? Did you feel glad or did you feel like? Oh, no, this sucks. I never feel good enough. It wasn't that the girls on the. Wall I didn't make me feel welcomed in in loving unaccepted, because I was friends with every single last one of them, so it wasn't. It wasn't more so down. It was just the way that it was like when we performed in end I didn't perform alive. It was just the look that you got from other people. She thinks she's white or she's trying to be. You know or like. Daniel said at one point like she's a sell out because. Black people wasn't eating. We weren't signing up for drill team. We were playing basketball and running track. WanNa. Be On drill team was like your sell out. Are you think you're all that or you think you're more than and so? Once I got that buzz I no longer wanted to be on drill team, so it wasn't because of the squad. It was more or less. You know the kids in the in the back talk and all of that. I played sports. I was in several different sports, and I can tell you for sure. There was definitely some discrimination and even so much to wear 'cause back then it was big the booster, so if your parents part of many into our more schools whether you're GonNa, you're good or not. You had a position on that team affairs. It was it just the way it was, and you knew certain parents that have the money their kids play in. That was just dash this way. It was in art more. Yeah I know. I was aware of it without being totally like not the front of my brain, but like some part of me was aware of it. I know, but it wasn't necessarily that I think that our class, our culture, our up bringing more so than like instill that it was like the adults I mean even though the kids talking about it, but of course they're talking about what they hear at home, but I felt like I didn't really I can't say that I solely experienced racism thing like that just because. Like we all say we have tons of white friends, and even all throughout. High School. We knew the differences, but it didn't necessarily affect how we interact with each other. It will just kind of like a common ground, and I'll tell you this. I was looking at our reunion pitcher before we got online. And even though. We all like genuinely I feel love each other respect each other, but we're just been conditioned to be the way that we are because I. looked at that picture, and you will see all the black girls on one side of the pitcher in all the white girls on the other side. Now there is a few this kind of sprinkled here and there, but predominantly the pitcher is like that, and when I looked this several of the pitchers. That's just do like when we get ready to take. A pitcher is not. Right we just? Kind of grab a take, all of us sisters in in all of the other you know. The white girl is just the way that I just think that we're just conditioned over time like if I was gonNA walk in the crown of a whole bunch of people, but I've seen a majority of black people they're. Probably GONNA go back. We could go to the all white side just because our might go in the middle. But I see what you're saying. Yeah, I agree with that so way then tell me honestly as we're having a talk about race. Everything you guys are saying about our hometown even as we're acknowledging some. Obvious discrimination. Is are sort of saying it like I. Don't know I. Guess I'm trying to ask. How do you feel like it's different now in two thousand twenty? Do you feel like racism is more overt? Do you feel like? The protests right now or like a lot, a lot of talk in the nation about. Bias and all of that stuff is. Are you feel like it's? warranted I'm I guess I'm not getting a full vibe on you? Guys on how you feel about talking about race. It needs to be discussed in understood and for someone like you. There needs to be more people like you that are trying to understand things to make the world a little bit better i. think as long as there are people that are closed. Closed in, and they don't see a problem. That's where the problem is. And then there are those that are still just they don't care and they just believe. White is white in black is black, and then that's it so until we have more people that are truly trying to understand different cultures and different prices in what can be done to make things better. In a better place in our, I do want to ask you doubt, but I mean growing up I. Mean just US right here. There's talking I mean when you were growing up. How was your personal experience of even when you growing up in in maybe didn't have a whole bunch of black friends at the time, but you knew you had some friends and are more it should talk to was not like we hung around each other constantly, but we knew each other. You know what I'm saying so when you got off to college and everything started. Get Little Down Earth and whatnot, and you start seeing a little bit more. Did you feel like? You were sheltered here are. Did you feel like you have a lot to learn about different types of races because you know quote, unquote the white privilege. Do you feel like you now that you're grown woman now? Do you feel like he was privileged as a young lady, maybe away with a little bit war. Do you think that you should now natural dote? We'll yeah. I mean absolutely, but not not because anybody was like purposely manipulating it, but because I just. You know benefited from my parents having you know careers that. Paid good money, which meant we lived in a nice neighborhood, which meant I went to Lincoln. You know we talked about. I made the drill team with little to no skills. When other girls did not. I never like I, said that my parents or my church or there was no, there was no one ever saying to me. Anything negative about black people ever so. I never like. I observed that dating was scandalous, but I wasn't really involved, so like I didn't take. It wasn't deep internally to me. Or anything like that I was very curious about so the girl I mentioned that was on the drill team best that we would ask her a bunch of questions that was out of genuine curiosity. It was not rude or or anything I was I. Read a lot of books. I was super curious about Black Church and a lot of France went to the black. We called it the Black First Baptist it was not. Like it said in the negative way it was just like the Black Baptist church in the UAE Baptist Church and so, but once I got older. You know my experience at college I went to was also very very white. I was in a sorority very white. There were black sororities, and so I observed that as well but I genuinely did not start to think about it in a privilege way you know until I moved to Los Angeles and And in La, the things are a lot more overt sides of town. Even though we're talking about, there were Kinda sides of town in Ardmore to but in Los Angeles. It felt to me just a lot more divisive. You know like you. We have learned from movies and rap songs, and whatever about gang, culture, and just things that I had not given much thought to until I moved to California. It is different than in Oklahoma in that way. So I didn't really start. Thinking about like. Why have I, or or like what has happened in my life? That was easier for me. Because white person that's that's still a newish thought to me like in the last. Eight or whatever when I have started seeing people like, let's take police brutality for a moment, which is a very hot topic issue, but when I see women posting about how they have to teach their children how to act if they get pulled over while my parents never taught me how to active I got pulled over like they were like. I mean I have sast a cop with no worry. You know I've never had to think like fat I've never had to think about anything like that, and so you know I've never had to think that. If if I was denied something like if I wasn't lead into the CLOBBER, if I wasn't whatever that it was. Because I of the way I looked because I look I mean I'm. UAE Blonde hair and blue eyes like milk and a lot of doors for me. But. I, wouldn't have put that together until I mean sort of had to be told that right right, I'll just say when when you say that it makes me think of something I'm also being a light skinned black person was definitely a difference, too sure was it definitely was different because it was you know you just was treated a little bit better because you know you're yellow, boned or whatever so when I think back on just general look of things. I can't really say that. I grew up like with racism. That like that in. In the younger years coming up to the middle school, because there was a lot of diversity, you know in all of that Nanu like we already talked about that. It existed, but it wasn't just so predominant that it was just like scary and crazy like today's world, but as I've gotten older and grown, I did have an experience in my adulthood working in Ardmore, where I blatantly know or feel that because of my skin color I was let go from a position in just for a white person to be brought into the position. and. I feel like I lost fight innocence like. To fight it I tried to fight the situation, but there was nothing I could really do because that's just the way it was, and our people wasn't running down to. The city hall meetings and trying to make a difference and stuff like that on my behalf. I didn't know the fall in all the steps take. It's not a fight back in the proper way, and so I of just like I just got fired was what it was, and that's just what it was, but or let go rather I'm so aware today, of course am I. Note of the racism that exists openly than I did growing up. Do y'all think that, maybe because we were a little bit more sheltered here in the small town, because I've noticed it when I wake, social media became popular and all that kind of stuff i. think it made it more. Blatantly noticeable ruled via name because he was everywhere. Now we are back to the whole world now in our little community. Yes, it was there. Yes, there was. You know maybe a little bit racist here there. But you didn't hear about it. What talked about? It wasn't blatant very seldom. It was there when it was seldom. You know like you know you got let go from a position. Next thing you know you already know. Got It in our mind frames. That was our original discussion. Need you know what I'm saying because? If you're dislike, I'm the only person in my workplace. You know what I'm saying and they have questions. They ask me types thing. I'm looking at right now. He still asked this discourse these days pick up pickup something bigger out like. I don't know if y'all know this. Not I don't want to necessarily say names, even though you may you know, edit this part or Laura but there was a lady that's on the north side of town, and I'm sure it'd probably you probably definitely didn't hear about this Laura but there's a lady that lives on the northeast side of town. Who Back in. In the day growing up, she was spray paint on the house about police brutality, because the police killed her son. Okay, and so she was known in the community as a crazy person, so people thought because she was spray painting on her house that Oh that's just such an such. She's crazy, but God restaurants soul because she just asked a but. I now. Thinking back because I was one of those young kids who was not even make. Because our was paint it I. Mean Spray painted with saying things about route police brutality, right? When I go back and think on that. Only thing now. I feel so bad is that she didn't know the proper steps to take. She didn't have help. No one believed in her. There was no cameras. There was no social media. So do I believe that the police probably because it's happening so blatantly open now? That she very well could have been telling hard truths about her child, and because there was no proof. We all thought she was crazy, but that was kind of her cry for help because she was bright paint on her house, you know. And I think about that in today's time like Oh. Yeah I remember. I used to be that the to make. The jalopy out who our children will the economy feel sorry for the? Do. Have you ever heard this store right before that? There was a lady on northeast spray paint on a house because police brutality. You know I never heard that, but I mean I always felt safe in ardmore again. I think part of it was a different time like you know mayberry style like it was just everybody felt safe. You know what I mean like I didn't know to not feel safe, but I also think. General, Ardmore had a from what I understand. A A low crime rate. It went up as we got older because of drugs staff, but like I kind of agree with what Danielle said in that. We're having this conversation, because this is our shared hometown, but if we had grown up in Chicago I, mean what are we talking about? Something different like nuts, an entirely different situation and Kind of this is what I kind of want people. Listeners of the podcast to be doing is having these talks with. Their black friends. The majority of my audience is very white and so I want them to like say to their friends. Like. What was this like for you and honestly I did not know what you guys were going to say today like I didn't know if you were gonNA. Say Ardmore is the most racist evil town of life I have no idea. I. mean. It was rough, but it wasn't that bad unless funds. On the northeast out of the tracks Laura I, don't know how you came over there unless you were going to the Y. Fields for softball, but most it was a distinguished difference, if you didn't grow up or come on the northeast side across the tracks than you were kind of blind in a sense to the things that we struggled are went through. In a sense I mean over time I'm sure you're aware is just that you didn't have to deal with. It is hey, he's over there. You know so. So. Do you guys think that it's? Is it worse or is it just because social media and cameras are bringing things to our attention? And you know the whole nation has gone through a drug epidemic, which is changing small towns, and like whatever like I'm trying to figure out if the stuff that I've been learning, I'm obviously learning that. It's been going on for centuries, so I'm not saying that, but just I don't know there's so many voices. The Internet is so noisy. Sometimes I feel like some people are saying. The world has gone completely evil. then. Some people are saying like this is always been here now. We're just dealing with it or some people are saying it's gotten worse. Some people are saying it's gotten better like I. Don't know what is your. What is your pulse on it? I think it's been brought to more to light because of social media and people being able to find out about more things, but the things have been going on. Life's this already in there were police officers. Beating men or planning evidence, that's been going on for years, but now everybody has a cell phone like you literally never know who knew, and luckily there's people out there video in certain things in that. We're finding out about stuff, but I think that it's been going on. I will say this that I feel these past few years. Since the president we have in office now has given an avenue to people to speak more freely, and so true feelings are coming out whereas it used to be a time where it wasn't okay to say that to someone now it's like you can say whatever you want to do. Someone so in Eilly because I had a moment where these white guys were at Petsmart, and they made me feel like I was crap in caught me bees and black this. It was like all because my dog. I have my dog and he was like breaking seventy pounds I was struggling with him. And I had an English bulldog. He didn't do ride. That was just as life. Everybody knew that, so they just took the moment to do that. And say that to me and I was just like a Paul in just a what the hell is going on his world. Why are they talking to me like like I? Knew then the world has changed. Okay, so we're all matters here, yes. Are you talking to your kids about this staff differently than? You were talked to by your parents about it. This is one of the things I wanted to say to you I'm glad you brought it up because with me having a son who was like almost six five. He's a black man. There's no doubt about it and I've had to talk to him. Literally from being pulled over how to react swiftly saucer, whatnot do in this is what happens when you do that, and this is why they will do it, but you have. My parents never had to have that conversation with me, but started driving I'm like when you get pulled over. You make sure they see your hands. You make sure that your registration everything is where you can get to it, so you're not digging for anything you wait and let them tell you so like you're going in a line and I felt like I had to He Luli just like a couple of weeks ago. Just randomly did something we would have done as children. That would have been a big deal. He went to the high school the go run. Run track light to be on the track after hours now we would have done that growing up in. It would have been no problem. I literally wanted to choke him because I was like. Do you know like what could have happened to you? If the police came, have been having a bad day. Your Trust has like you cannot do certain things. You just can't in so I. Feel Like I've had to do that. Just because of the way things are going because I would feel like I'm not a good mother if I wouldn't talk to him to tell. You gotTA understand. You're different, and that's just the way it is. Yeah. I've had that. Talk I have two boys and I've had that talk with especially my oldest son, because he is currently dating a white girl, and so although her parents or accepting a bit tough hold him tom-tom again. Make sure you know you treat her with utmost respect I, mean you know you have to tread light, and and I hate that because I don't. Of course I want him to treat. Her were regardless of her skin color I want him to treat our whale, but I have to embedded in his head. Because if something happens in, there's an argument. There's disagreement or something more times non Sunday you're going to be in trouble regardless of the situation and I hate that he has to. He can't just openly left who he loved, but that's just what it is, and he understands it. Not, as much as I probably want him to, but he understands it to an extent. You know you still choose today. The white girl with the restrictions of Of Her love for her body is so frustrating for me as a mom because I know that if something ever happens that. Be Good for my son and I and I and I don't even feel like her and him. Their relationship I fear her family members somewhere down the bloodline. That's who I fear for my son, because of the time that they grew up and they just don't accept it. Targets could definitely gotten worse to answer your question. It's definitely gotten worse in are more or just you know of course worldwide right? Because like Monica said at some point in life, we could do simple things that we didn't have the questioner. Think about whereas you can't just. Merely do. Hardly, anything you can even move too much without it being. A jog or you can't even be at home if you really want to be technical. Danielle WanNa speak to the parenting part I haven't really talked to my son about because he's still fairly young. My son has experienced something with his other side of the family Where you know that cultural difference, you know you got a great aunt. Great uncle I'm saying is looking at you. Know this. Brown skin, little boy, and noticing their the difference so I think that when marriage was going over to the other side, you know things were being obviously. Stand in front of my baby made that bill uncomfortable were he had to leave the situation because this is his child to you know what I'm saying. Regardless of you know how you feel about the blacks in this child. Child and I'm not going to see here. Let you just say something about Rotschild, so I mean to this very day. He doesn't talk to that family member for those actions. You know what I'm saying, so. I mean I think it's just an environment that we were on up in, but right now I'm just I'm not currently talk miracle about that kind of stuff now. Okay this is my last question, so you guys are so gracious to give me the benefit of the doubt to even have this kind of conversation, but also we've known each other since we were literally children you. I mean I'm hoping that use trusted where I was coming from with it, but if you had other white friends, well-meaning white people is what I have called them in the past, well-meaning white person also. We want to ask you questions like this. Stu, you find this awkward or weird or inappropriate, or do you welcome it or are you neutral on it? Like where do you? What do you feel on this conversation? Welcome I'm been I with a lot of younger people. Even though we're the corporate office, I have some younger people that I work with so there early early twenties them and you know it's been beneficial to me to be able to have conversation with them whether it's about hair is been about like just growing up because I have one particular guy and he went to a school like five people graduated from it. And it was a private school, so he did not know. I'm probably the blackest he's got. I went to wedding about three hundred plus be was the only black person there so. This is how he's my guinea pig all the time because I try to see where he's GonNa come with something. You know because he just doesn't get it and I have had to explain him. Not Everybody grew up. The way did so live. Like you got into a job because you're on worked for the CEO. You literally came with no experience so position I was like. Do you understand that I? Never would have been able to do that. You GotTa understand you. Download privilege, so he doesn't get it sometimes, and I have to like bringing into light, and then he sees it for what it is, but it's times like this that are really think that more people should be open to talk to people in France in their opinions, and are basically telling them why why we're coming, the place will come in from. People are just tired. People are tired of being mistreating. Just. You. Retired, but for me I have peace in knowing. There's people like you people like my neighbor. There's people my cut. One of my co workers out the blue texts like is this I have peace in knowing that it will hopefully get better than not worse so. Others timing real quick and say ask your question Laura definitely open as well, but it is about approach for me, because if you definitely come with a you know a genuine demeanor, and you hope hardly or showing concern that you really just want to know and we can talk all day, right. More of a you know shade, or you're just kind of being. You know silly with end you know because it's a sensitive subject so naturally you have to make sure your approaches genuine when you're talking about something sensitive, and then we can talk all day about it in the. was charming and say also with everything going so crazy I will say I'm so happy to see so many white people. Protesting along with us because we went through so many of these same situation and a lot hadn't been done for whatever reason Georgia's situation so herbal that white people are even saying this is yes about racism, but is a human life, and so I love the fact that there's more white people kinda waking up in holding a sign that says black lives matter like. That means a lot to me. I'm so glad that we have this shared. You know these shared memories, these these shared experience, but I'm still learning all the different ways that it was also different, but I just cherish you and your friendship and I just am very very grateful that you were coming here and talking to me publicly about this if They use US they're. Talking about, we will be on for hours and hours. Thank you for having us and even wanted. So much. I'm Laura Tremaine and he just listen to the ten things to tell you podcast. You can find the show notes and subscribe to episode emails at ten things to tell you dot com slash podcast. You can follow us on facebook and Instagram at ten things to tell you. Remember. This is an interactive podcast. I have ten things to tell you and do you have ten things to tell? Taking this topic to your journal or a friend or post on social media, using the Hashtag ten things to tell you. These episodes are meant to bring an action with others ourselves an spark better conversations. Thanks for listening. 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The 5 Mistakes You Make When Planning an Ireland Vacation | Traveling in Ireland Podcast Episode 104

Traveling in Ireland

20:31 min | Last month

The 5 Mistakes You Make When Planning an Ireland Vacation | Traveling in Ireland Podcast Episode 104

"Today i am sharing the most common mistakes people make when planning their ireland vacation. Hi everyone and thank you again for joining me here. On the traveling in the podcast. Today's podcast is brought to you by my book. Planning the ireland vacation of your dreams a step by step guide to planning your perfect vacation in ireland. I begin at the beginning. When is the best time to visit ireland and guide you through every aspect of your trip from flights and transportation to lodgings attractions food and even how to save money planning. The ireland vacation of your dreams is available in print filled with beautiful color images or exclusively on amazon kindle in digital form and it's available in kindle unlimited library both books include access to an online resource with updated information downloads and even more tips. Now let's dig into those mistakes so we all make mistakes when we're planning in ireland vacation and in two decades of ireland travel. I've made my share of mistakes. My very first trip it was a solo trip. It was just me a rental car a map and a book. bnb's and i drove. I made quick stops. I drove more. And i didn't really take time to stop and and really see where i was until my hostess. I was at a dingell. And she asked what i had done on my way down to the peninsula and i was able to give her kind of a general overview of what i had seen and i was checking the notes that i had in my notebook because i took notes to keep track of the pictures i was taking because at the time. Cameras were still film and good affordable digital cameras. Were still quite a little few years off. So i was able to tell where i was had been in what i had seen but i didn't really have experiences to go with those views and it really was kind of anxious to to see the next thing and now i see it all and after talking to her while she didn't give me the advice to slow down. I really came to the realization. That i was just moving fast. I was seeing things but not experiencing them my second trip to ireland. I had a one year old along with me as well as my husband and we were at a slower pace but we still made mistakes and mainly that was with our accommodations. There were just too many of them and traveling with a child and it just. It was too much to change accommodation every night. My third trip was with my toddler and then a new sixteen month old and my mom as well as my husband and the mistake we made that time was with our rental vehicle so every travel mistake there is to be made. When you visit ireland. I have made it. And i've learned from those experiences and now our travels to ireland while they're not flawless. There's always mishap of some sort. But i know that they're going to be relaxing rewarding and filled with the experiences and adventures that appeal to my family. And so what i want to. I want to take those common mistakes. That i have made. I have seen being made while. I'm working with clients and help you to maybe avoid those pitfalls and help you have the ireland vacation. You've been dreaming of without the mistakes that that are so common to make so let's begin now. There is a lot of information coming so you want to. You don't have to take any notes. i've already taken them for you. Just go into the show. Notes for this episode. Click through to the website. And you will find all the information and links right there if you are if you're not where you can get to the show notes but you want to do a search. All you have to do is visit ireland family vacations dot com and do a search on the website for episode one. Oh four now here. We go with the mistakes. The first mistake. I see with ireland vacations is. There's just too much driving. And i understand that this could be a once in a lifetime trip and you want to make the most of it but you don't want your memories to be kind of like my first trip. Quick pictures short notes in journal. But not you know not the the time and the experiences so plan to spend time at the sites you want to see. Take the time while you're in those areas to find other interesting spots if you need tips on how to do that. I have an entire article. It's called planning in ireland itinerary. That won't ruin your vacation. And it walks you through the on how to how to build that itinerary without circling the entire country and seven days. You'll spend so much time driving and it just it. It shouldn't be done that way so this will help you to kind of figure out what's close to where you you know the sites that you want to see how many you can really realistically fit into your itinerary and still have an amazing experience mistake number two too many accommodations now. This actually does go hand in hand with too much driving. Because switching accommodations every night can be nerve racking up. And you're gonna find that you're skipping spots on your itinerary because you misjudged how long it was going to take you to drive from one place to another because google gets it wrong. The above article has tips on how to avoid that problem. And you spend more time maybe in one spot than you had planned. So you're rushing to gate to your bnb for check in and it just can be. It can be a hassle even if you pack light unpacking and repacking every day just gets annoying. My advice is to try to stay at least two nights in each location. If you can it gives you a break between your long drives from place to place and lets you really enjoy that area for more accommodation tips. You can read a quick guide to vacation lodging in ireland. It gives you an issue of all the types of accommodations. You're going to find and tips for how to book Questions you might need to ask and other other accommodation advice all right mistake number three. Your rental car is too small or too big. There is a lot to know about car rental in ireland. But one of the things you want to pay attention to and it's actually step number four in the article that i referenced here but it's the size of your car if it's too large you may have some issues on narrow roads and it's going to cost you more in fuel if it's too small you'll either be uncomfortable in cramped or you won't have enough room for your luggage. And you have to upgrade at the last minute which is always expensive so the online car rental providers have guides to help you decide the correct car size. But you do need to be honest with yourself about how much room you need to be comfortable. And how much luggage. You're going to be taking with you. So these car rental tips and many many more are included in everything. You need to know about car rental in ireland. If you are planning a self drive trip in ireland. I highly recommend that you read this and save the link Because this is going to be any central read when you are renting your car all right mistake number four you get overwhelmed by all the options now. Ireland is a small country. It's roughly the size and shape of indiana but she really punches above her weight when it comes to things to see and experience and it's easy so so easy to get overwhelmed with all the options. If you need help narrowing down your options and keeping your vacation manageable. You can download one or more of my free ireland tanneries. Each of them has a very thorough description. So you can decide if it's the right itinerary for you and they all include accommodation options for multiple budgets as well as arrival and departure airport information and more handy ireland tips and you can download directly at ireland family vacations. I'm you can find the link right on the homepage. Or as i mentioned there is a link here in the show notes but my itineraries include a lot. But they don't go too fast. They are designed to give you time to explore to maybe follow the road less traveled and get off the beaten path and really enjoy your time in ireland. So if you're finding that you just don't quite know how to put an itinerary together or you just have so many options in front of you that there are too many these ireland itineraries. They're all free and they will help you kind of build that itinerary and get it finished and the last mistake people make is underestimating. The amount of time they're going to spend in dublin airport so dublin airport is ireland's main airport it's the main international gateway and it is busy when you arrive. Usually you're going to arrive at the same time as three to five other international flights so big jets full of people usually and you're going to have to queue at immigration and that can take anywhere from thirty to sixty minutes depending on the day. And then if you're collecting a car you're going to either cue for that inside the airport to check in and then you're going to have to go get the shuttle. You may have to wait for a second shuttle because of the number of people and you're going to have to queue and finish paperwork for the car rental. It's so easy to spend two to three hours at dublin airport before you even get out and start experiencing ireland and then as you prepare to leave you have flight check in you have security you have the vat and maybe a bit of shopping. And if you're travelling back to the us you have a second security screening and pre-clearance. It requires time. I mean even just flight check in can take forty five minutes because you are in a line. That is slow and meanders. They ask you questions they ask about your trip. And then it's lines and lines and lines. You should always planned to arrive at dublin airport at least three hours before. You're boarding time if you are flying to the us and if you're going into europe you still need ninety minutes. Maybe two hours depending on the time of day and the season. So don't underestimate the amount of time that you will need at dublin airport. Every single time. I am leaving ireland. I see people who have missed their flights either the day before or they are missing their flight as i see them. Don't let that be you. I have an entire article on tips for a rival end departure at dublin airport. Now as of today we are hopefully wrapping up the covid pandemic. i have not been to ireland since this started so the information is as up to date as it can be. As soon as i can get back to ireland. This information will be updated. And i do keep it updated every trip. I take so you can be assured that it will have the most up-to-date information in the article that is linked as possible for me to give so we have been through the five mistakes that people the most common ones. Anyway that people make as they're planning their ireland vacation but as you know. I always end with three tips four year vacation and today. I'm going to give you three experiences that you need to include in your vacation. And these are very easy to add. So don't feel like. Oh my gosh. Now i have to add these things super easy to get number one. Enjoy an irish breakfast now. An irish breakfast is massive. It is not for the faint of heart and it is hard to eat every single day but it is spectacular it is black and white pudding and that sausages rashes of bacon. Eggs fried tomatoes. Maybe you'll have some beans. You'll definitely have some some brown bread or toast. You finish it with a strong cup of tea and you are ready for the day. This will power you through until mid afternoon when you can sit down with another nice cup not and and maybe a pastry or a small sandwich but at least have one irish breakfast. Try all the meets. Black pudding is a my favorite thing. Don't be put off by the name by what it's made of just give it a try You might really really enjoy it so irish breakfast definitely try at once number to enjoy a coastal walk now. The country of ireland is an island it has coast all the way around it. And no matter where you stand on the coast. You're going to have magnificent views but if you take the time to fit in a walk along one of the coastal trails you will never forget it and you will never ever regret that time that you spent there. A few favorites host which is near. Dublin has a beautiful coastal walk. And it's not hard to get to if you are hanging out in the city. Down in county waterford the done more east. Coastal walk is absolutely gorgeous. Very few people on that one and if you go down to ardmore just a bit further down the coast. There is a kind of a coastal loop. Walk that takes you along the beautiful rugged coast and then you come back past the round tower at the cemetery and you look down over over the village of ard more beautiful beach there too. Great great walk one of my absolute favorites. You can take the cliffs coastal walk in claire. That takes you to and from the close of mahar. That is a very busy coastal. Walk the closer you get to the cliffs. My my advice is to a get to path which is kind of between the headlines and take it to hague's head that is a not as big section of the coast still a beautiful walk to great stroll that pathway has not been it's not a maintained path as most aren't so always you know maintain your distance from the edge. Be smart and if it's muddy maybe walk in the grass further from the of the cliff not closer and the oh gosh the hike above the sleeve league cliffs not for casual walkers part called one man's pass but it's absolutely stunning very very remote and the views cannot be beat and then there is also the causeway coast hike and there's a section of that right above the giant's causeway. That is absolutely stunning to great walk. You don't have to do the entire hike just taking a little bit of that path and it is time well spent and the last experience i highly recommend is that you follow a brown sign so as you're driving you know the highways and byways of ireland you're going to see a brown sign kind of has a little arrow at the end and those are for heritage sites now. Some of these are going to be sites that that you've probably heard of the rock of cashel that the bras castle and killarney You know things like that but then there you're going to have little heritage sites that you've never heard of for one of those. Just follow that sign. I discovered around tower called ratu round. Tower in county kerry On my very first trip to ireland. I was it was before the wild atlantic way was a thing and this was seriously in the middle of nowhere. I was the only person there and it was one of the most memorable experiences of my trip. So as you're driving and because you haven't packed your itinerary you can say that sign looks really interesting. Oh another one. I found was moon high cross and killed air beautiful so so pretty. It's a massive high cross. That was actually. It was found in pieces. They reconstructed it. And it's it's just. It's seriously massive so huge. It's just awesome but we wouldn't have found it if we weren't just following the sign so you haven't packed your itinerary. You have the time to take the road less traveled and follow that brown sign and see where it leads. You never ever know what you might discover so those are again. The five most common mistakes people make when they're planning their ireland vacation and three really easy experiences to include in your vacation to ireland. So i hope those are helpful for you as always if you have any questions you can contact me. Just email me directly. It's jodi j. o. d. y. at ireland family vacations dot com. If you enjoy this podcast. I would love it if you would leave. A five star review at apple podcasts. Stitcher or android. If you can't leave overview on your podcast app i would love it if you would just check into. Maybe the ireland family vacations facebook page and leave a review there or just take a screenshot of the podcast on your mobile device and tag me at ireland family vacations on instagram. And just leave me a few kind words. I really appreciate hearing from you. And i love helping you plan your ireland vacation. Thank you so much for listening and until next time slunk full.

ireland dublin airport amazon indiana Ireland google dublin us ardmore mahar europe waterford Dublin claire wild atlantic kerry jodi j brown apple facebook
Ep 77: What's your BIG story?

10 Things To Tell You

55:35 min | 11 months ago

Ep 77: What's your BIG story?

"I'm Laura Tremaine and I have ten things to tell you. And do you have ten things to tell? This show is about connection with each other and with ourselves, and the hope is that the things we talk about here will be fuel for better conversations and a personal awareness. This is an interactive podcast. Each episode has a prompt and a topic that I want you to take to the journal text to your best friend or answer on social media using the Hashtag ten things to tell you. This is a show about digging deeper and sharing our stuff. I'LL GO I. Welcome to this episode of the ten things to tell you podcast. I. Am glad you're here for this very special episode. They're all personal. That's the whole thing around here, share your staff I'll go first they're all personal these episodes but this one in particular means a lot to me and I hope that you take something from it because today we are asking. What is your big story? What is the big story of Your Life? Now before we jump into what that means what I am asking when I asked that and then telling you my own story, I, do want to remind you of two ways that you can hear from me via email. One is there are episode emails that go out every single week they're short. They contain the links that are usually in the show notes, but they come straight to your inbox and they tell you what the episodes about they give you some behind the scenes information. Sometimes, it puts the links that you might want to anything. I'm talking about on the show right there in your email. If you want to sign up for those, please go to ten things to tell you dot com and You'll see a little email sign up list at the top also every single month. Okay. Maybe it's not every single month maybe it's more like every other month. But on a regular basis, I do try to get out my monster email that I call the secret posts that is a personal email I've been sending out for years. It has stories and thoughts and things in it that I don't put anywhere else. Because I don't want them to live on the World Wide Web, but they will come straight to you in your inbox and also in the secret posts besides my own personal stories and musings are links out to good articles that I've read lately, all of the books that I read lately. Yes. I share my favorites on social media secret post is the only place you can get. The full list of what I've been reading including those that I did not love I only put those in this email and also usually include some kind of style section of what I'm wearing what I'm loving. Just sort of a little favorite section. Those are all the secret posts those go out supposed to be monthly really ends up being every six to eight weeks to be honest. Anyway, you can always sign up for those at ten things to tell you dot com slash secret posts, and while I am not trying to inundate your email inbox I, know a lot of get a million jillion. and. We are drowning in communication I. DO try to make these emails, worth your time and be a resource for you and something that you enjoy getting or that you find. Helpful. So both of those things can be signed up for at ten things to tell you dot com. Okay today's topic. What is your big story? We all have one I think we all have a million small stories that are interesting or makeup are Janati or that flow into a larger narrative that we're constantly creating in our own life. But. I really think that most of us have one big story, one overarching story, and while there are some common themes in people's stories, these can look really different. Your big story might have taken place when you were a child, you might be in the very middle of your big story. You're big story might be an ongoing thing like over decades or over years. or it might be something that was such a monumental event that happened earlier in your life that everything changed after your whole trajectory in life changed after and so that is a big story to you. So everyone's can kind of look different, but it's also sort of one theme and let me give you an example of some of these. This can be a survival story. This can be a champion story. This can be a story of trauma. This can be a story of overcoming something. This can be a story of a worldwide event that you were in the middle of that became part of you. This can be tied to your upbringing your religion, your region of the world. There's so many things that you're one big story. Can Be and it feels like it's such a part of your identity, such a part of your history or narrative or again if you're in the middle of it, it's not even history yet but something that someone can't really know you very well can't really say that they understand you if they don't know that this was a part of your story that this is what makes up a big chunk of your life or your identity. Now, of course, we all have so many other stories that might even live outside of our big story that have nothing to do with our big story or we might have hundreds of smaller stories that live within the big story. I'm not trying to put any of us in a box or make anything sound simple or need or rap anything up with a bow. That's not the point of this exercise. The point is to just sort of identify either for fun or for introspection or. As a way for other people to know you and for you to be known, it's sort of just identifying this thing like what is the one story that you are using in your life as a reference point that you point back to when you're talking about your growth or your life? I think you get what I am saying here I hope you do you know in art in film this is Often, referred to as the Hero's journey Joseph Cambell that phrase way back towards the beginning of last century it was theoretically thing that was already happening in tales in stories from the beginning of history. But he gave it seventeen plot points and called it the hero's journey, and it's a very, very common narrative in movies and novels even how we talk about our selves and how we talk about people in our. Community or you know that sort of thing it's sort of the idea that a person's starts out in very normal circumstances and then they are called to an adventure and there are obstacles in the way, and then there's baby a magical element to it, and then there is one big fight, and then there is some kind of transformation and the hero returns home with knowledge or having conquered something it's a. Really common storyline. So when you're thinking about your own big story or your own Hero's journey I, think most of us naturally sort of feel like we're still in it like I don't want to say that my hero's journey is over in my life that doesn't quite feel right and so I'm not asking you to do that I. Don't know that that feels exactly right. No matter how old you? No matter. Where you are on this spectrum especially because a lot of our big story might be old news mine is going to be minus something that happened nearly twenty years ago. That is part of my entire life and identity, and because the main part of that story is over and was a long time ago I still don't consider like my own personal heroes journey over. So I'm mentioning the Hero's journey because I think it is a way that we. Understand stories and the Ark of stories. But I don't think that identifying our own big story especially, if it's old means that we can't have another big story in our life and that if we were to ask ourselves this question in another twenty years, if we wouldn't have a different answer, we very well might being sort of just depends on what your big story is. You know I know people whose big stories are that they overcame something really difficult. That they endured a tragic loss or some kinds of tragedy at some point, I know people who their big story is a success they created something they made something that mattered I. Know People whose big story is in relationship. It's about a marriage or it's about a parent child relationship. It's about their sexuality. There is lots of ways that you can look at your big story, and again, I'm not trying to say you only have one but I do think most of us have one big one. So I'm GonNa talk about my one big story today and even though this is something that I have talked about and written about and journal about and talked and talked and talked about over the years it's not gonna be like a revelation to anyone I'm still a little bit nervous to share it because. In. Some ways are big stories if you're past them or if you've read, told them so many times as I have. There's parts of them that have almost become like a mythology like you're not even sure if it's exactly true what you're saying because you have packaged the story so well into a Bo- you know so well, how to explain what came from it or why it was transformative or any of these things? It's become a really down pat narrative that is. Interesting to interesting to listen to but if you've done it so many times in some ways you almost ended up being disconnected from it of of like, did that really happen like that or have I sort of reshaped history to make it a better story or to make it easier to understand when I tell it. Because most stories, especially big stories are messy and they're complicated and just like when a book gets made into a movie and you have to lose all the side characters and you have to simplify it down to the easiest plot and subplots we do this with our own history we forget the details or we conveniently leave them out and make the whole thing more palatable for ourselves and for others, and this is especially true if the story is older. So my big story, the thing that defined an enormous part of my life and identity is. That, I was a small town girl who moved to Los Angeles. That's it. That is the whole transformation, but it's a big for me because it changed my whole life and it is absolutely a touch point to me. It's something I reference all the time. There's like a before California Laura and an after California Laura I spent a good decade after that move really straddling the fence of being really true to my roots or answering the calling of being someone different I've. Written about it I've repackaged it. I've reshaped this whole story not to make it less true or not to make it something it wasn't but it is the thing that I analyze and turnover in my mind when I'm looking at the whole of my life because it's not just about moving across the country it's about everything that came after it's about the children I have the career that I pursued. And Style and I mean there's there's so many elements to it but when I drill it down My big story is that I grew up in a really small town and I moved to one of the largest cities in the world and those two things inform an enormous amount of who I am. And what my struggles are and what my growth path is and my world view. So it's Hell a little bit of this story. Now I'm GonNa, tell it how I remember it I'm GonNa tell it how I tell it. You know the truth parts and the parts that may be I have. Polished to be prettier than they are not doing that purposely going to tell the story how I tell this story, which is just as plainly as possible and the reason that this whole topic came up in my mind is because it was this exact time of year in the year two, thousand and one. So nineteen years ago when I made this move, it was August of two thousand and one when twenty two year olds Laura moved from Oklahoma. to La. Sight unseen. I had never been here. I did not have job I knew no one and yet I took this enormous leap of faith. I banked my future not knowing it was my entire future at the time I thought it was just an immediate future but I did this really scary thing and it wasn't an accident and it wasn't haphazard and it was not youthful ignorance. It was real in every sense of the word I was following what I knew was the right path at the time even though on paper it chest looked ridiculous. So let me back up. This episode of the ten things to tell you podcast is sponsored by better help the world's largest online counseling service. I care a lot about mental health and getting outside for your mental health, and especially right now, it is amazing to have an online option for therapy. You're not totally sure if you need therapy I, just want to give you an edge that working with a professional therapist was enormously helpful for me in dealing with anxiety and I so wish that I had started years before. I did better help. We'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist that you communicate with on line and you can start communicating in under forty eight hours. This is not a crisis line it is not self help. This is professional counseling done securely online with a broad range of expertise available. You can send your counselor messages, you can schedule weekly video or. Phone sessions. It's more affordable than traditional counseling and it's available world wide. This is especially helpful if you live in an area where broad expertise isn't locally available better help once you start living a happier life today, visit their website and you can read all the testimonials that are posted daily with people sharing how working with an online counselor has led them to feel less stock. And with more resources in their struggles with their mental health special offer for ten things to tell you listeners get ten percent off your first month at better help dot Com Slash U. Y. O. You. So visit better help dot com slash you that's better h. e. l. p. and join over one million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. So I grew up in a teeny teeny town in southern. Oklahoma about thirty five, hundred people where we lived out in the country off dirt road in a ranch style house unlike forty acres with horses and it was just really really remote and quiet and I loved it. I still love that kind of peacefulness and am attracted to it even though I ultimately am. Made my life in the city. But when I think back to childhood out in the country like that, it feels very good to me. It does not feel scary or isolated in a bad way. It feels very peaceful that childhood and I had to parents are still married to this day. They just celebrated their fifty fourth wedding anniversary and I have an older sister. And older brother who seven years older. So I was at the bottom of our family by quite a bit and spent a lot of time alone out there in the country and spend a lot of time with my nose in a book not surprising and both of my older siblings are very smart. My brother had his eye on going to college out of state and so to facilitate that dream, he started going to high school in. The next big town over about thirty miles away. It's called Ardmore I. Think a lot of you have heard me talk about Ardmore as my hometown because I did end up following him to school. So I was going to ardmore schools and eventually when I was older, my parents also moved to ardmore and so when I return home to my hometown when I did that episode earlier in the summer about my hometown that was all about ardmore. That's actually not where I spent most of my childhood physically. But that is where I identify with now as my hometown because that's where I went to school that's where I went to church. That's where our community ended up being armour is much bigger than the tiny town where I spent the early part of my life armour's about twenty, five, thousand people which for Oklahoma that. is a really good sized town. It's the largest town within like one hundred miles. So that's the background for where I grew up in when I'm talking about Oklahoma and my childhood and Oklahoma I'm talking about some version of those two small town suggest a few miles north of the Texas border and a place that I dearly love now where all my family is back in Oklahoma. But growing up, they will you and I will tell you I always felt like I didn't fit I realize this is a common thing. No matter where you grew up big cities small town a lot of people feel like that they do not fit in the family or community or whatever that they were born into, and this was certainly true for me. You can look at it from either a soul level was did my soul not fit or the practical side of me says it was because I, was reading so much I read so much starting very young. I read all the time and I think that with my head into so many stories and all different kinds of stories but truthfully. Now that I think back on it not too many small towns stories. There's were not the books that I was reading that probably greatly contributed to me feeling like I wasn't anything like the characters in his books I was reading I didn't read any books about young girls in Small Town Oklahoma. So when I pictured myself when I pictured my life, it was always somewhere else. It certainly wasn't because I didn't feel loved I did I had very loving family I had very close relationship with everyone in my family. I had friends had a church community eventually, it was not a story of feeling like I didn't fit because I wasn't loved or appreciated. It's justice story of maybe feeling like this isn't My. Place and when I was young, I couldn't articulate why I had a lot of anxiety. I had a low dread all the time and I also think that contributed to me feeling like I have to get out of here one of the markers for my anxiety is a fight or flight situation mostly flight. So my big story is about flight basically is is getting out is removing myself from where I felt so scared all. The time and so that was also a big part of it. I think some part of me felt like if I could just get away from myself. If I could get away from the circumstance, I would feel less anxious that actually turned out to be true. So was that some instinct telling me that starting when I was very young I don't know I don't know how any of these things work I'm just telling you my big story. So I was very itchy to leave Oklahoma and would tell people that when I was young. Once I got a little bit older like a teenager. Then that shifted a little bit because you know I started to be mature enough to have the perspective of thinking about wanting a family one day or you know what I would wanNA home to look like or you know I started to sort of maybe tried to. A future for myself and because I had not really traveled ever my family was not a big traveling family and obviously there was no internet yet TV was different like my influences were very different from the kind of influences that kids have today and what they can maybe envision for themselves and so when I got to a place in teenager dumb where I was envisioning future I think for a little bit I got less dreamy and more practical about what that might look like. Then I had been as a kid he then. I went to college in Oklahoma I went to the University of Oklahoma and at this stage of my life, I was following a really traditional sort of path for my social circle for my parents type of social circle like there was a very traditional way to do things that included going to college and then getting a degree and then getting a job and getting married in these things that were felt very comfortable to me and I. Say that with complete normalcy that felt like exactly what I wanted to do and so i. Did that without a ton of energy around it other than like Oh, this is the next step and then you go to college and so when I was in college was when I started to think that you know maybe I didn't want to get married right out of college I didn't WanNa, start a family right away and Oh, how I wish I could go back. And do certain aspects of college again because I think that those years your late teens early twenties are so formative. No matter where you are. If you're still in education if you're starting a family young, if you know whatever it is that you're doing those are just really formative times in life they can be and I was definitely not paying enough attention to sort of how amazing it was. I had a great time in college and I had good friends and I had great classes. But I I was not appreciating maybe just how awesome that time is when I look. Back, and think, wow, like how lucky I was to be in a situation where was learning and studying literature and philosophy. The things that I wanted to be studying than I have you know the choice to do that I had absolutely no idea how incredible that opportunity was how special it was. Now I, look back and just like it was really really great for years but the summer between my junior and senior year I studied abroad I studied abroad in England got into a literature program at Oxford. University and that summer is actually the thing before the thing if you will. That is such. A huge part of my big story because you know being in the UK is not exactly like an immersive cultural experience. You know there's no language barrier. It is about as similar to the US as one could get I assume but I had never been out of the country since then except for like going to Mexico for spring break, I had not really explored another country and in my time in England, we would take the train to Scotland we took the train to France, and then of course, our home base was Oxford, which is just rich history especially. Literary history which was my passion's still is my passion. So seeing the world for the first time seeing another part of the world for the first time when I barely traveled even within the US at that time I had never been to major cities here and it was very eye-opening to me to be in the middle of London to be in the middle of Paris as a broke college student like I felt like the world's just opened up so wide and I saw so things that I just had no idea I needed to even be thinking about you know in my. Bubble and not not all of Oklahoma is a bubble by any means, but my world in Oklahoma had been a bubble. So I did not know anyone of any other religion I barely knew anyone with political differences. I had no friends that didn't look a lot like me. I had not spent much time in any kind of hardship I'd just there's just so much I didn't know had been sheltered. In a healthy loving way. But I just I didn't know anything about the world and so this study abroad trip when I came home from it bright before my senior year of college I came home and started saying and meaning to everyone around that I was going to leave as soon as I graduated like I needed to get out of Oklahoma. I. Wanted to live in a city I wanted the noise and the bus soul. And a cafe on every corner like these little glimpses that I had gotten into a European style that I thought might be matched here in some way in New York or la or maybe even Chicago some kind of place I. decided I wanted to be in that life for longer than just a study abroad program I came home absolutely obsessed with the idea of living somewhere else. It had really just made me realize that I wanted. A big experience, and even though I was saying I wanted to move I wanted to move what I meant by that was that I wanted to go do like a few crazy years in a city and I didn't articulate all this but I just know that I really did think that eventually I would come back to the middle of the country if not Oklahoma than a region that felt familiar to me Texas maybe some part of. The South I did think I would return to that eventually but I thought I wanted to do some kind of crazy twenties something have a big adventure and then settled down and have a family which I always wanted to do and you know live bat part of the familiar life well, as I was saying that simultaneously to me saying that I ended up in a relationship with someone who was also willing to move out of Oklahoma. It was not great timing to fall in love my senior year of college when I was sort of concocting all these grand plans and had in fact, broken off more than one relationship in my past with people that I loved dearly and that we're good people. But just did not want what I wanted for future and then I met someone who did and we fell in. Love in the winter of my senior year of college. It was very unexpected. He was very different from anyone I had ever dated. I think that was part of the appeal honestly, and he was super game for a move to California after I graduated in May? He was not graduating yet and I had decided California somewhere along the way before I met him, I think when I. Came home from my study abroad experience decided I wanted to move I had decided in my mind like a lot of people who grew up the middle of the country seems like the two coasts are the most extreme places that you can go to get out of your small town. New York City or Los Angeles I, was terrified of New York City I didn't even understand. How a person could do life they're like, how did you even get groceries? It was very stressful to me. I decided California called to me it was the utopia if you will I pictured palm trees and the ocean and movie stars everywhere and like glamorous meets hippy dippy all of that appeal to me by the way that's not untrue. I mean, there's not movie stars everywhere but. Glamorous meets hippy dippy is sums up Los Angeles in some ways. So it was attractive to me then it's attractive to me now. So I had decided and started saying I was going to move to California I didn't know anything about Los. Angeles. I had never been here but you know movies right? Like we see what Los Angeles is and it seemed awesome. Also another marker of my personality that is still true to this day. Telling people my senior year of college that I was going to move to California after graduation. Held me accountable to it. You know, I'm not a person who keeps a secret dream and like toils away without anyone knowing about it. That's just not how I operate. If I tell people I'm going to do something I. Have Enough Ego involved there that I feel like I need to do it I have to save face I will look down if I don't I'm not saying this is a healthy mentality but I'm just telling you then and now when I'm telling someone that I'm going to do something the. Telling of it is kind of what makes it happen otherwise, I would never take a risk if I hadn't, but my own name, an ego on the line. So telling everyone that I was going to move to California after graduation sorta became my thing at the beginning of senior year. Then I fell in love with this person in the middle of senior year he was escape border. He was really into music impact ended up seeing seeming funny to me later as that, he actually introduced me on the TV. Some of things and people that I would get to know later in real life. But I, you know who could have ever known how stepping stones would turn out anyway the point is he was game for Los Angeles. So we spent months planning a move across the country together and I really thought that my future was with this person I thought that we were going to be together for a long time obviously I thought that. Have like made such intense plans to move with him. If I didn't think that we were very serious about what another and would be together for a long time. This episode of the ten things to tell you podcast is brought to you by native deodorant. I believe that every product I use on my body matters I care so much about the products that I talked to you about and I especially support companies who innovate products that break the norm. This is why I like and use native deodorant. My Native Deodorant doesn't just block odor better. It's actually made better. Native has ingredients you've. Heard of coconut oil, shea butter, and Tapioca Starch. 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Why are you at checkout and get twenty percent off your first order that's native dao dot com slash you or use Promo Code you. At checkout for twenty percent off your first order now back to the show but I also was not a total dumbo pants and I knew. That L., A.. Was Expensive and I knew from sort of acquaintances who had lived there before or just kind of talking through planning some of the practicalities of moving to la I realized I wasn't going to be able to afford your average rent here without a lot of roommates. So for a while there, we actually had multiple people that we knew who were going to move with us. You know we were gonNA live a bunch of in an apartment together, the plan kept morphing. And changing but my I was on the prize of this was my future. I did not apply for internships. I did not look for jobs. I, just had my goal of moving to California and it felt completely right to me. It felt yes scary at times but the good kind of scary like very healthy. Happy. It absolutely beckoned to me in every way I, do not ever recall before I moved here being hesitant on this decision I thought this afterwards, but we'll get to that. So. As second semester of my senior year progressed and the people who said they were also going to move with us obviously started to fall away and someone got a job in Dallas. Instead someone got cold feet and you know it was down to me and my boyfriend, and then someone set me up with or put me in touch with. A sorority sister who had been in my same pledge class but she had transferred and gone to a different school for most of college. So she and I had not really been friends when we were in college together. But some of our mutual friends have stayed in touch with her and her name was Meghan and Meghan had gotten into medical school and she was taking a year deferment and wanted to do something fun for a year before she. Had to buckle down and do you know ten years of intense medical school and through friends that connected us? We realized that she was more than willing. In fact, was excited to do her year off in California she already been thinking that and so they kind of put us in touch and it seemed like the perfect scenario in my mind things were really falling into place. This was a sign that everything was happening on my graduation day from college. I look back at pictures from that day and I am glowing. Like for a long time that was one of the happiest days of my whole life, I had graduated college, which had been a little bit of a slog at the end college always as I was about to move in a way that felt like the exact perfect next thing for me. I was in love with a boy who was in love with me who was different than anyone else in my life in a way that also at the time felt like, yes, this is right. I am pivoting. I am coming out of my cocoon you will. This is my life I'm on the cusp of everything. That's how I felt on my college graduation day and you can see it in the pictures I can see it perfectly. And then just a few weeks after that. Blessed wonderful cap and gown day the boyfriend. Walked into my apartment that was already partially packed because we were GONNA leave soon to move to la he walked in and out of the complete clear blue. Sky. I had just showered I. had my hair up in a towel had an old football t shirt on. Unsuspecting me answered the door and he walked in, did not even take his coat off and told me that our relationship was over. And I mean over over there was not a discussion. I did not get. An explanation why it was. For a long long time, one of the most devastating things that had ever happened to me. was. This break up. Like I said, before I had been in love before this person and I had gone through difficult breakup. It was not my first heartbreak but because I had staked a whole future with this person and had made a lot of decisions around our relationship and also the fact I can see this now how devastating this part of it was but also that I had no idea it was. Going to happen the unexpectedness of it for lots of reasons was really really traumatizing in every other break-up that I have been through and I'm talking romantic or even in like friendship breakups throughout my life there's like a rocky period if you will I was so blind sided by this thing that happened that I thought was my whole future I'd put a lot of my hopes of transformation. A lot of my dreams for who I wanted to be who I was sort of trying to become. But I wasn't there. He was a little bit of that bridge for me coming from a different world and when he dumped me, it had such repercussions for me beyond irregular heartbreaking break-up which breakups are hard when you're young they're very very hard or I guess when you're old to. Breakup or devastating course bet it wasn't only the I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore it was also and I'm not moving to Los Angeles and I am not your partner in this and so the choice which it was never really a choice in my mind but it became doing something with someone by your side or doing something alone and I was about to embark upon this alone. Because it did not cross my mind to not move. I mean even like the moment I was being broken up with I still didn't think Oh, I, guess I'm GonNa stay here. Now no I had set forth my path of moving to Los Angeles but now it looked very, very different. And the whiplash of that really did color. So, much of this monumental move and that first year here it was something that I did while I was in the deepest grief and heartbreak and what I can see now as depression, and so that just became a really huge part of the story for me. I mean ease will always forever be an enormous part of my story that I moved to La when I was just a shell of myself because when he walked out of my apartment, it felt like a death. And I'm not minimizing. It feels like to truly loose someone to death because I know what that feels like also, but anyone listening who has been through the hardest heartbreaks knows why? It because? He did not pass from this earth and nor did I but. A whole construct of love and dreams, and all of it just disappeared in like an absolute moment and it was shocking. And it changed me This break-up absolutely changed me. And I don't know if this would be true. If this had happened, you know junior year or something even if it had been a surprise end to a relationship, but the rest of my life had continued on and I still went to college I still went to class all of that kind of thing maybe that would have been a normal healing and grieving period but because. We broke up and then I subsequently moved to Los Angeles everything in my life in my mind changed. I lived for a little bit in reaction to that break-up. As I was going through this major life change of moving from my hometown home state to a whole different world. California felt like a different planet. I was also mourning this loss in my life that I knew then. Because I have my journals to read I. Knew then wasn't solely about that guy I. Mean I, was in love with that person but my deep broken this. Around that relationship ending wasn't solely about him as a human. It was everything else. I was describing it was the end of the life I had built in Oklahoma. It was the last time I would so innocently be in love in the same way because everyone I dated after that I was putting up walls I was always protecting myself like I was never gonNa give myself fully to someone after you've been surprisingly wrecked. It was definitely something that added enormous amount of baggage to my life emotionally, and spiritually that wasn't solely about that person. I can see that now in this big story that I'm telling in my story. I can see the parts that were enormous obstacles that were enormous broken places for a long time. That were the milestones of this story of me moving I fell in love unexpectedly. I was dumped unexpectedly, and so suddenly I was making this big change alone. And these are plot points in. My story but also having lived them. I can say it felt huge at the time everything felt huge and monumental at the time and still twenty years later I back and see it was it was monumental. We don't always know sometimes when we're in our big story, we don't always know that this is the big thing, and while this isn't the biggest thing that ever happened to me, this is the biggest most important change in my life was moving to La and it is tied to this story of heartbreak. So these already sister that I already mentioned that I had been reconnected with Meghan she became my new partner in this. I mean, we didn't look at it like that because we always knew she was only going to be there for a year but she really did become a partner in this very important time in my life because we followed through with our plans even though we were down the third person in this story, we flew to Los Angeles in that summer after I graduated, we had a long weekend here that has its own sort of magical elements to it. Where we slept on a friend of a friend's couch, we found the perfect department at the last minute. We signed a lease and then we flew home to get our stuff and move back and we did in August of two thousand and one Megan and I arrived in Los Angeles. She came like a normal person pulling a U. Haul or whatever I came with my brothers flatbed pickup truck carrying a big refrigerator box full of my stuff, and in the back of a pickup truck, we had a dresser that was strapped down only on the interstate at some point between Oklahoma and California one of the jurors popped off and so I was down one drawer. Dresser and we came rolling down. Hollywood boulevard like the Beverly Hillbillies in this like truck that rumbled and with all my furniture and refrigerator box strapped the back we pulled up and parked, and I'll never forget it because our first apartment my apartment with Meghan was on Hollywood boulevard and I felt like I had really made it. I had done what I said I was going to do. which was moved to La. and. Although I hadn't planned it this way I had done it in defiance of someone who had ditched me, and even though I was in a fog of depression and sadness I still did it. I put one foot in front of the other. I had a new friend who became a true partner to that year more much more than a roommate and we put one foot in front of the other and we got. Groceries and bought a couch and set up a life here in La and I never thought I could do it in all of my bluster about it and all of my knowing the whole full year before that that I was going to do it it was like some part didn't quite believe that I was until my foggy heartbreak himself woke up in a beautiful light filled apartment on Hollywood boulevard not having any idea. Maybe having tiny inkling but not having any idea how much this was going to change the rest of my life because it did it changed the absolute rest of my life. We'd only lived in La for three weeks when September eleventh happened. And it was a scary time. Obviously, I still didn't have a job and so I was living out here unsure of what was going to happen in America? Fifteen hundred miles away from my family and I had to make a choice and I talked through with my family. I talked it through with my roommate Megan and we had to make a choice of we were going to stay or if after just a month in the city, I was going to go home and sort of wait out what was going to happen in the aftermath of nine eleven when I was very scared to live in this big city that at the. Time we were being told would be the next target I. Didn't have any reason to stay here. Again, I did not have a job i. we had barely met anyone yet if I was going to pull up and go home that was the moment and I decided very consciously that I was going to stay until the end of the calendar year. So I was going to stay until after Christmas I was just going to give it a few months even in this uncertainty of. The United States I was just going to see if I could get a job if I could make a life here or if it was just going to be conceded that it was bad timing all around. That was the decision. My family was in support of it. Megan was going to do the same and in October of two thousand and one I got my first job for MTV the lowest rung on the Totem Pole as a very low level production assistant for a Christmas. Special Tom Green Christmas special. So it was a short job. It was just like eight weeks or something and I got that job from a connection of Megan's a family. Friend of Megan's had become our dear friend after we'd moved here and the producer on that short little special was going to make a movie for paramount after the first of the year after we were done with this project and he wanted to know if I would come and work for him on that movie. And that movie was Jackass. And that started a whole new chapter of my life that's a whole different story that ends with me meeting. The love of my life and the man who had become the father of my children and also the best person I've ever known but that's a different big story that doesn't even matter to my big big, story. which is that I followed my dream that I did it when I was heartbroken that I chose a path over and over several times when I had the opportunity to say, no, this isn't right or no. I don't want to do this alone but I decided not only to move to Los Angeles but to stay and that is the big story everything that happened after every transformation that came after loops back to. That I'm not saying that something's in my life never would have happened if I hadn't moved obviously something's wouldn't. But like there's certain growth points in certain things that I think would have happened in my soul. If I had never left my small town ever I do believe that but there are so many other things like the entire trajectory of family and career and love and where I feel the most at peace. which is in La the city I love so much. This is where my soul feels at peace. All of that came from my one big story. So that's my answer to this question I want to hear yours. I know that everybody's looks different and there is love and loss and decisions made decisions not made. They're all tied up in our one big stories. I've so many details. I could tell you about mine even more than I divulged here so many. August makes me sentimental for this very reason because it's like I, feel it in my sphere at this is the time of year when my biggest change happened thus far I don't know that it will always be my big story. I feel probably sure that it won't I think other things happen in a person's life of course, but it's been almost twenty years. It's been exactly nineteen years and this is still my big story. This is still my touchdown by before in my after. I. WanNa Hear Yours you share it. Please make sure you tag the show I. Want to read these this week. I, hope you do share it. If you're shy about putting it out there publicly than just make sure reaching to a friend and you guys exchange big stories. I hope that you think about this this week, your big story I. Hope that you share it with someone. Thanks for listening to mine. I'm Laura Tremaine and you've just listened to the ten things to tell you podcast. You can find the show notes and subscribed to episode emails at ten things to tell you dot com slash podcast and you can follow us on facebook and Instagram at ten things to tell you. Remember, this is an interactive podcast. I have ten things to tell you and do you have ten things to tell. So take this topic to your journal or a friend or post on social media using the Hashtag ten things to tell you. These episodes are meant to be an action with others and ourselves and spark better conversations. Thanks for listening now, go share some.

Los Angeles Oklahoma California United States Laura Tremaine Megan Los Angeles Texas partner Ardmore Meghan Los Laura I University of Oklahoma Small Town Oklahoma UK England
Why Its Ok to Say No with Michele Molitor

Inspiration and Spiritual Awakening from Live. Love. Engage. with Gloria Grace Rand

37:33 min | 3 months ago

Why Its Ok to Say No with Michele Molitor

"You're listening to the live. Love engage podcast. Today we're gonna be talking about how to say no with grace and grit stay tuned. Welcome to live love. Engage the podcast reshare practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to create a life and business with more impact influence and income. I'm your host. Gloria grace rand the inciteful copywriter and founder of the love methods. My mission is to help you stop doubting yourself so you can live fully. Love deeply and engage authentically. Nama stay an welcome to live. Love engage. I am gloria grace brand and today i got a guest on the program who is going to be helping us to learn how to say no in a graceful way and also took a little bit about how the brain works Her name is michelle. Molitor is that my pronouncing the last name right. You got a very so first off. Welcome to live gates. Thank you so much to Having me on the show gloria grace. It's wonderful to be here with you. Well we appreciate it and that we're going to have really great conversation today because let me share with you just a little bit about who this wonderful woman is. She is the founder and ceo ceo of next consulting inc and co author of the bestselling book breaks her healing and she works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing more than twenty five years experience intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success. She's an expert At enhancing capacity of leaders to build high performing teams and exponentially increased bottom line results. And she does this through a unique reported. What rewiring approach. I should say Which is a combination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence neuroscience organizational psychology and rapid transformational therapy and what she's able to do is capitalize ships and thinking and eliminate mental and emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater confidence and success. And i tell ya that is a really good thing to be able to help people with because i know as someone who has Discovered over the last certainly over the last ten years. I've been business. That i have had some limiting beliefs Shall we say that. I inherited from my My parents especially my mom had to work question in rewire. Bet in oregon. Do those things that we that we inherited. Thank you charlie lovely parents and families of origin and they and they did the best they could and that's m. analyzed stuff is not even even they're funded going back. Even more of me gets handed down no handed down out. Well one of the things. I wanted to talk to you about is something that i know again. This is something. I have personal experience with The way i grew up being a bit of a people pleaser. Shall we say. And i know i think. Also a lot of women and women entrepreneurs We are specially heart center. People i think in particular. We wanna be able to help everyone. We want to be able to You know make our client's happy or to make our families happy. Are we want to make our communities. Happy and sometimes but wind up putting ourselves leftist. So how do we learned to say. No with grace and grit. Yes at as an apartment church skill to learn because We are compassionate and kind amazing human beings and oftentimes there is that people pleasing element with Within us to keep the peace To not upset the applecart not to go along to get along right. And i myself. Have you know done a fair bit of that myself. To over the years 'em through my work as an executive coach and rapid transformational therapist. Now for i just had my nineteenth anniversary last week wonderful. Congratulations exciting and what i found is that we have these these beliefs that we've inherited right that are implanted in our subconscious. Thinking in our the back remind which is about ninety percent of your brain power right so it does most of the work In the daily computing of our lives. And if you've got beliefs in there that say oh in order to be safe. I have to behave this particular way. and you can thank your amid della. Which is the Fight or flight mechanism in your brain. I like to call her. Amy any loves you. She just wants to keep you safe and amy's a very steadfast. So oh if you give her a belief at age five she will hold on to that belief until you rip it out of her hands you give her new belief right so the first thing is notice. Where are you avoiding. Social pain for fear of being judged. I'm gonna say sure. I'll do that because i'm a voiding. Social pain of being judged of being not liked Fear of missing out omo very popular and and just recognizing like. I didn't say no to helping that person on that project. Even though i know that i don't have enough time and i'm already feeling overwhelmed but i wanted to make them happy. And so you get to notice where you sacrificing yourself. Your own needs wants and desires to take care of other people. Even though it's making you unhappy right. And i can hear i can hear the course say but isn't that selfish a now my friends not being selfish because if you're depleted if you've given everything to everyone else then there's nothing left for you and then you can't do your good work in the world. Now it's about your own energy back in recalibrating and getting more and more clear discerning. What what do you really need to say yes to and what do you really need to say no to right so you can do that. A couple of ways to make that those priorities right versed understanding. What are your core values. What are the things that are like water and air to you that you have to have in your daily life and if that request coming at you is out of alignment with your values. That's one indicator that you might need to say no right Another indicator is How has your body and responding to that request. Why we have this amazing contraption called the body and we operate most of the time about here right from head up where we ignore all of the information. We're getting from our body and if someone says. Hey gloria grace. Can you jump in and me out with this project. I know you're really busy. Oh gosh i could really really use your help and if your your shoulders immediately go right up your ears and your back tightens up. That's your your body going You might need to pause and think about that for a hot minute so really tuning into your own internal dialogue and listening to the wisdom that it has to share with. You is really really important when we ignore that Our bodies will get louder and louder with their messages right. Some might be a headache in. It might be a back ache And it might be a migraine. You might be on the floor with your back out your body going. I tried to walzer you. You didn't listen right absolutely right. There's there's these different tools that you can use to start to help guide you in discerning. What's going to be most important for you as the way to share your time and your your life force your energy with other people. That's that's awesome. Yeah i definitely have learn and and it's been interesting over the last few years that my body is very sensitive to my emotions. And i mean this i showed up. I think after my sister passed away and that following year i was having tremendous back in shoots and an once i got it under control then when it came back i was like okay. What's going on in my life right now and then i'd be kind of like. Oh yeah that's what. It is. And soon as i could start to fix the emotional side of it then. The backs tended to clear up which is on trend to disappoint in my chiropractor. Not going to see him as often but Myself well and in you raise a really great point. One of my favorite quotes is your greatest weight now. Not that one this quote Is emotions that cannot find. Their vent interiors will cause other organs to weep not hanley moseley which means from like the eighteenth you know the eighteenth century or something a psychologist and and i had a similar experience right my i literally got up on thanksgiving morning and my back way up and i was in severe pain for like nine months i had cortisol shots to my spine. Nothing else. i had a unfortunately that that may this was after seven. Eight nine months a very close friend of mine passed away unexpectedly and we created this beautiful whole ceremony of life for her and i just cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and shortly thereafter back. Pain went away and it was such a huge. Aha for me to see. Like oh i had had all this pent up other emotions. Other traumas in my leg maral being stored in my back and when i let them out by just crime is out for hours literally it. It started to dissipate so There's a lot of power that we hold in our bodies and we just have to let that stuff move through you can't you can't think god aguila another time absolutely. It comes back to haunt you. I want to talk about something else. But there's one thing. I find it really fascinating when i'm interviewing folks and i see signs behind them and for those of you. Who are listening. You're not able to see us but you have a great sign on your bookcase. That says behind every successful woman is herself a man i love that says carrion share share with me a little bit about. What does that remain to So a gift for my mother and my mother's very strong woman she and my father had been business partners and married for sixty almost sixty two years now and i've always endeavored to be as good as a business woman as she has been and women are amazing we are the. We are the doers and the plate spinners not to say that men don't do as well but it seems like you know there's always career and family that a lot of women have to balance right was the load and they still don't get the credit and they're paid less than men really annoying ends. It's even more evident now with with kobe. I just saw an article on the news just yesterday about so many women are actually leaving their jobs because they have to be at home taking care of their kids because they're home schooling their kids right miss. It's been crazy this year. So you know giving yourself credit for all the hard work that you do right And and know that you are in you resilience and you're able to do this I i Earlier this year. I worked with an amazing coach By the name lindsay ardmore and We did some serious deep dive work together on some of the aspects of my business and as she sent me this bracelet when we first started and it moved me to tears because it says instill she persisted nights. And it's just like it's still brings me to tears. It's like someone recognized how hard i work and and gave me credit Right and we don't. We don't do that for ourselves and we don't do that with each other particularly as women. It can be very easy to see. Women's start snipping at each other in a site ladies. We gotta stay together. That's right yeah you really gotta have each other's back so That's kind of what's behind that that very much. Very good Well i never. I wanna talk to you about is something which also does play into. Why maybe why we don't give ourselves credit enough Is this area of neuroscience. And i have to tell you i've been Well actually fortunate and this is my sister. Helping me out from from beyond. She had a she had a wonderful. She's sush their michelle great but collection and when she passed i i sort of just kind of pick some books and sounded interesting and brought him home with me while a couple of them were actually about the brain and ninety one of them's called like making a great brain great. Were making something making greater something. And and how the brain works. And and i read them when it was really fascinated about Our capacity to Really change so. I was wondering first off what what made what got you interested in in the subject of neuroscience in particular sure so i and my former career our creative director in web development I did that for ten years. I was a graphic designer creative director. And then i I moved to san francisco at the height of the boom in two thousand and thought i had my golden ticket. And we're going to be. Oh and then. The market crashed and a essentially about nine months later. I got bullied out of my job. Oh man and it was quite devastating for me. And i at that point. My my suggestion that i get a coach of these things called career coaches. Now's like okay. Where do i find one and so. I found a coach to help me figure out what to do next. Because i was such a deer in the headlights in the process of being coached i found my true calling. Like oh this is work. Meant to be doing right. So i got trained in certified. Starting my company nectar consulting. And i've been doing it ever since and all along the last twenty years i've i've been doing a deep dive into personal development. And how does our brain. Where and why do we do the things that we do. And why do some people have confidence in. Some people. Have no confidence right. This has been really fascinating to me because my confidence was shattered. And i you know. Like trying to glued pieces back together and recalibrate who i was and so it had me really do a deep dive into will how do our brains work and why is it that some people react this way and some people react that way because it for a few years i had a whole belief around. Coaching will kind of woo right now. We'll it's tie. It's people it's science. That's what i love about it and so it's actually now the the the science has has given us so much more information about how neuro plasticity works right how we can continually learn and grow and change our brain so many amazing stories about For example people have suffered strokes. It literally kills part of your brain now. Science tells us through is amazing process that other parts of your brain will literally start to rewire themselves to take over the part. That's not working right and you can retrain your brain right so so basically what i do through my rapid rewiring work is. I'm combining what's called wrapping transformational therapy or rt for short with coaching over a thirty day period. And i'm getting. I'm helping people get their limiting beliefs at a subconscious level right and we're identifying an were rewriting the screenwriting the story. The emotional baggage is getting left behind and then building new neural pathways in their brain new beliefs new habits new strategies for success. So it is possible. It's very powerful on of worked with folks all over the world and have helped them not only change their mindset increase their confidence self esteem their levels of success but in the process those emotional scars that we've been carrying around as we talked about earlier can create physical manifestations and ailments in our bodies and so i've watched folks literally release chronic migraines. Ib s I'm looking for adrenal fatigue. They've been dealing with years and decades In a matter of thirty to ninety days. So it's our brains are phenomenal places and we've only scratched the surface not what we can actually accomplish with. That's that's awesome. Yeah and it is interesting. I i this capacity to change To change our thinking and because we have that power. And i'm definitely have learned that in working with other with coaches and different programs and even just figuring it out for myself sometimes because i there was a story i had developed from something that happened to me. I was seven years old. I was in second grade and I guess i was i. I like the boy and was chasing him around the school yard at lunchtime Trying to kiss him and one day during show until he got up and told the class about it. And i have that moment. Just got so embarrassed. And that's that's what. I remember just feeling neely. Mortified embarrassed that he you know told everybody what i was doing that that it was really a big secret as everybody can see what i was doing really well but i because i didn't have confidence in myself that time but i was going through a program in a few years ago and i was at the airport journaling and the document in my head about knows like You maybe i was looking at it wrong. Maybe he was actually bragging to the class I was chasing. Maybe even liked me. And i just took it the wrong way. I could just as easily but happy about it and you know. Maybe sat up straighter. You know smiled. And you know the But i didn't do that but i'm thinking well maybe i can just decide to. That is what happened now because the hack. He's he's not around he doesn't know anymore you know he's not going to go now. If i chew change my mind about it so scientist choosing to now remember it in a much more positive way because the other way doesn't serve all exactly and and you did a being. That's a beautiful key thing to do right there right. I do that with my clients while they're in hypnosis actually like okay so be see the scene that you're seeing feel the feelings that you're having now how do you really want it to be changed the dynamic. The story changed the outcome. Because your mind in a state of hypnosis doesn't know the difference between what's real and once imagine so when you change it right in this state then you're you're letting go of the emotional charge that was around that scene and then you're like oh that was great. He really liked me. And wow i got his whole busa confidence from that and well i feel great and it creates this amazing ripple effect all the way forward throughout your life. That's awesome so so that is what you do then. You help people actually using hypnosis as one of the tools. Such years yeah. That's that's smart. Because i think that does probably make it happen faster. That probably leads to rapid inspiration. Your time it makes things happen a lot faster because you know coaching therapy. They all have their places and What i love. And what i've experienced for myself using. Rtt is that when you get at something a subconscious level. You're bypassing your critical. Judging prefrontal cortex right where we do about five to ten percent of your conscious thinking so you move past the conscious. Mind to the subconscious mind in an alpha brain wave state which is at half awake. Half asleep place Actually you're super learning state. No when you're changing out the store you're swapping out the script bad script good script okay. Put the bad script in the trash can. And then i actually create a customized recording for my clients as well based on all the data and our conversations and whatnot mixed in with binomial music and it has an particular way in lilt and cadence Instilling new empowering beliefs and thoughts inhabits right and you listen to that recording every night as you drift off to sleep Twenty one to thirty days and that repetition is actually building those new neural pathways. So your brain likes what's familiar right and what you're familiar has been. Oh i'm terrible person. I'm so embarrassed. I have no confidence right in. So amy your mic della to that believe it has been holding onto it this whole time. Exactly now you're saying amy. No no we're going to change swap you. I'm gonna give you this new belief or we can take that other one have throw it away because i okay. Great job as long as a job. Abby right and so through that process in over that thirty day period in addition with coaching and whatnot my clients are able to really find new perspectives about themselves. I am enough. I am confident. I believe in myself. I'm worthy lovable undeserving. Right and when they can start to change those beliefs at a very deep subconscious level. Everything starts to change. It's really quite amazing to witness. Yeah i can imagine. That's that's awesome. What type of armoured sam. Thank when better better way to say this. Well what is your. What is your favorite chang thing. I've watched us go there. What what is your favorite thing about what you do what. What really just like you up about. Oh gosh the thing that lights me up the most as when i'm working with someone and they come to me and they're like oh i have this this heavy horrible thing that i'm carrying and i can't carry it any longer. Please help me i. Just don't i tried everything. I don't know what else to do. Please help me even skeptical like are you sure this is gonna work and we go through the process and they do the work and they listen to the recording and we have our coaching sessions and they show on the other side of that and they're lighter and they're brighter and they're just it's like there are a whole different person. I have a thank you note here on my wall. That one of my clients set me. She had been dealing with a An eating disorder her whole life since she was fifteen and she was fifty at the time and it says on the front the mine is everything which you think you become and in it she she basically says you know thank you. Although our time together were short you've truly transformed my life. Ma'am eternally grateful and her her need to binge eat a cake or pie at night disappeared and she wrote me. You know like a month later down address is great. you know. So it's it's those moments where someone reclaims their life from their fears that have been holding them hostage roar twenty thirty forty fifty years that that's the the beautiful nugget that lights me up and makes my whole day. That's great I can see that being so worth while. And i know even the work that i've done clients. It does like when i hear about them doing something that maybe they were scared to do before. Now they've been able to do it makes me feel good to When cao actually well yeah how do you do. You generally work with kind of one on one or do you ever do any other type of group programs or how does that work. So i'm yes and yes both. Is they hit sir. So i have a couple of different ways that i work with folks. I have my one on one rapid rewiring program. That's the dive work that we do over thirty sixty or ninety days depending on the stuff that they're coming to me west i might also have my rapid rewire membership community and inside of that We have twice monthly masterclass coaching sessions. Each month we have a different topic this month. We've been talking about tapping into your power and presence. Have you expand your presence. As a leader numb we have Guest experts and each month has a different transformation recording that that Guided hypnosis recording. That i make And then they'll be other tools and and tidbits that i put in each month because i have an abundance of content that i looked to share with people also The membership can come in and stay You know it's monthly. Stay as long as they like. And there's a ton of information and resources there and beautiful community of support of like minded other business professionals from all over the place in so and then you know for my corporate friends out. They are actually getting ready to launch a whole corporate employees wellbeing program. which is going to have trainings. Which includes the membership as well adt for support for folks so there's a couple of different ways that i get to work with folks which is really joyful. Also you know have you Actually i'm just curious for me. Just because i knew that for some reason especially like this week spend a challenging for me and a good friend suggested it might have been because both presidential candidates in our state and maybe i was picking up on the energy feeling crunchy right now. But i'm jay can't come fast enough so going to be really glavin that takes place heavy found fat for yourself. I mean because you are. You're doing work for other people that how has year just a unique year How have you been managing him. What what do you do to be able to help yourself when you fail challenge. Sure well as a i. I learned this years ago as a highly sensitive person. I e i have very active mirror neurons in my brain which pick up on everybody else's emotions spray always have been this way and so i'm very aware of all that's happening. I mean just. The energy of this year has been very heavy in anxious for many many people all around the world right and so before covert. I would go to the gym two or three times a week and i lift weights. Right was super strong and then tobin had and i can't go to the gym and haven't been able to go hopefully like this weekend. Actually get to go to the gym for the first time in. I don't know how long but for me other ways that i've been coping meditation. I was able to plant and nurture my vegetable garden this year. So that was present. Time would go out at lunch. And i'd water my tomatoes and talk to them and make them happy and You know just being outdoors going for hikes watching the birds. I have a hummingbird feeder window. And they dance for me all the time all throughout the day. And then my own pets right. I have a couple of cats in this crazy. Golf and cockatoo named alice. That keeps me very well entertained. So it's it's really about taking time to reconnect with yourself. Engaged in quiet doing a digital detox. Turn off the news Take time to create endeavors. I paint so that's like that's one of my paintings. And just you know finding outlets for that energy So it doesn't get bottled up and listen to your body so it 'cause i don't tell you what it needs. Yeah absolutely oh. That's good great advice. Because i think that is yeah it's been it's been a challenging year for everybody and i think it's so far to find ways and i know i've i've done some new things this year. I mean i. I started writing songs. Which is a sabena. I haven't how that was like seven. I think that's amazing And just doing lots of different writing poetry a little and so I am a realized this week. Like i think i need to do. Some more of i started doing some different types germline to count myself and it's so important really do need to take care ourselves Does thinking said if we don't then people aren't going to be able to. We're not gonna be able to care of other people really free that start with our so right and you know the you've probably heard this before use it or lose it It's very very true about your brain. May your body so evy. Just sit in on our sedate on the couch. And you're not using your body you're not using your brain knit will will wither on the vine right so getting some kind of exercise every day is really important of for your physical and emotional wellbeing you know it it creates endorphins throughout your body. Which makes you feel better some of your happy chemicals. You know for me designing things building things as a creative endeavor. So i've literally built out this whole Corporate employee wellbeing program over the last three months. Like i could've sat and read a book or this whole new thing. So you know. That's that's what keeps me happy and keeps my brain engaged and writing articles and giving interviews like this is often stuff for me. Right that's awesome. Well i want to also ask you if someone is interested in learning more about Some rapid rewiring that you're offering what is the best way for people to learn about. You sure so. You can always visit my website. Nectar consulting dot com in e. c. t. a. r. consulting dot com and. It's i'm getting a new website any moment now and some things apart so you can always look for many at nectar consulting dot com or very soon in like probably three weeks. Michelle molotov dot com as well right. So you'll have access to me both places Invite you to if you're curious and you'd like to talk more about some of the challenges you're facing. I'm happy to have a complimentary discovery call with you. We'll spend thirty minutes over the phone and you can share with me. Some more about what's not working and what you'd like to shift so It is possible i promise. Excellent yeah it is. That's for sure. I as i like to joke. Sometimes the screwing up as i've been in the past I know. I've made a lot of progress and so if i can do it anybody to do it and even faster scher about. But i'm okay. I'm okay with the pace. I'm taking and so now we all get there the moment we need to get there not a moment before exactly sure. Sure So if you are listening right now and you don't have a ten to jot down to worry we'll have all of the links in In the show notes for you So yeah think so much for being here z. Found i roll. I knew this was going to be a good conversation. And i really glad that you're able to take some time and spend it with us today. Yes thank you so much. Always a pleasure so lovely to to chat with you and hopefully provide some insights for folks who are listening and yeah you know what your brain is an amazing place so you get to use it and strengthen it like every other muscle in your body definitely well again. Thank you all who are listening subscribers. I appreciate you and if you're watching a youtube as well. I appreciate you doing that and i appreciate all the comments. It's nice to get reviews and comments on my youtube channel. two which is wonderful. I do pay attention to them. I read them. And until next side. As always i encourage you to go out and the lift fully. Love deeply and engage authentic. Way one more thing before you go as valued listener of the live. Love engage podcast. I want to help shine your light in the world. Not only while you're listening to the show but all day every day of the week. That's why i created the world. Love engaged spiritual awakening community on facebook. It's a place for you to gather with business professionals and entrepreneurs who are committed to living the life their trainings. If you wanna be a part of this community van receive free trainings from me. Go to live love. Engaged dot com and request to join. That's ally e. l. o. v. neon h. dot com.

gloria grace Gloria grace next consulting inc hanley moseley lindsay ardmore sush Molitor michelle amy migraine Nama della carrion gates mic della charlie oregon Amy headache
How to Cultivate Community With Facebook Groups

Social Media Marketing Podcast

49:56 min | 2 years ago

How to Cultivate Community With Facebook Groups

"Hey, there, Mike steles Noor I would love it if you come to San Diego and meet me, do you have any interest in that? There is a easy way that you can meet me by coming to social media marketing world. It's an amazing conference this year. We have seventeen different tracks. We've already recruited a huge number of speakers, and here's what's new in the two thousand nineteen conference number one, original, highly tactical social media marketing sessions so that you can be better equipped to succeed. Number two more marketing focused skills development workshops. You don't need to worry about contractors. You can come here and go deep diving on specific skills. And lastly, we have a lot more economical ticketing options than you might realize. So check it out, visit social media world, nineteen dot com. Again, social media world, nineteen dot com. And now over today. Welcome to the social media marketing podcast, helping you navigate the social media jungle, and now here's your host, Michael steles. Hello, thank you so much for joining me for the social media marketing podcast brought to you by social media examiner dot com. I'm your host Michael steles ner. And this is the podcast for marketers and business owners who want to know what works with social media. Today's show is sponsored by social media marketing world, two thousand nineteen all-share share more about this event. Later on. In today's show, I'll be joined by Dana mall staff today, and we'll explore how to create community with Facebook groups. If you wanna reach me, you can Email podcast at social media examiner dot com. And now for this week's brand new discovered helping you stay alive in the social Changle here is be squeaks civil team. This week. I'm joined by Eric. Fisher with a brand new discovery. Would you find Eric? I found a really cool Twitter analysts Asian tool that is called spark score. So this is one, it's going to measure. I know we don't really need this, but it says it measures your influence which, again, that sounds very clout. Like, you know, in the I thought we were done with the days of clout. But what it does is it doesn't just go by vanity metrics. It goes by measuring the difference between your followers counts and the amount of followers. You have the amount of engagement that you have different. You know, sliders that it shows like the average number of likes is this is this from rand fish can this? Yes. I wanted to make a mention that this this is created by rand fish kin, though. Maliki formerly of moss. Yes, so, and so he's behind it. So you know, in a sense, you know, take it or leave it, but like that's, you know, you can trust him, you know, if you know him doesn't. It also have engaged some sort of engaged. -ment metric or something like that. I'm trying to remember. Yeah, it's so it's got. It's got a bunch of different things. So it's got a an engagement metric which basically has to do with, you know, it shows you the average amount of re tweets that you get the average amount of likes that you get on your account. And so you can look up all these different accounts and it's free to try. It does say that you run out of a certain amount of reports. You can check up up to twenty five accounts a day. I don't know that I would need to check. I thought it was interesting. You know, I thought it was interesting because it's different than cloud, right in many different ways because it is it is just Twitter if I'm not mistaken and my right, and it's also giving you some of those engagement metrics, and it's been real clear about how it's coming up with those metrics. You know, it's very transparent. There is no mystery box or anything like that. I can't remember what my numbers were, but you can look up others numbers as well. Yeah, exactly. And I think the the key here, the real. Reason why I as social media manager at social media examiner would use this tool is this gives me a snapshot of our account, and I could do this once a week on the exact same day and measure whether our stuff has gone up or down and not just number of followers, but actual like engagement numbers like it. Did it go up? Did it go down those kinds of numbers that really matter. So where do we find this? Okay. So where you find it as you go to spark Toro dot com. That's spark t. o. r. o. dot com. And you have to log in with your Twitter account to authenticate, and then you can. You can use the software and then if you don't want. You know, you can unauthenticated in Twitter, right? And just revoked the access to because you never know when you give apps access. What in the heck they're doing with it. Right, but it is. It is pretty cool. I'm glad that you're able to mention that. Thank you so much Erik. You're welcome. If you're anything like me, you are probably concerned about all the crazy changes that have happened this year inside of our industry. Things like Facebook, zero, Facebook ads that are constantly changing vertical based story videos, Botts GT linked to native video dot, dot dot. You get the idea. Is your marketing keeping up with all these new things. Maybe you're worried that it's not in your job could be on the line. Well, it's precisely at times like this, that smart marketers realize that they need to get trained up all these new technologies, all these new platforms and all these new opportunities. And that's where we have social media examiner. Can help beyond this podcast. If you know it's time for you to embrace change than I want you to consider attending social media marketing world, two thousand nineteen. Here's why we work super hard to recruit some of the best speakers in the world to keep up with all the changes are into bring these leading experts to you to train you. And it's really that simple. We bring you the pros. You just need to decide to come show up and learn, and these are people that had done it and that are excellent trainers an excellent communicators so that you don't have to go out there and try it all yourself. If this sounds at all interesting to you, I would encourage you to visit our show website at social media world nineteen dot com. Again, social media world, nineteen dot com. And now for today's interview with Dana mall staff to simplify your social safari. Here is this weights expert guide today. I'm very excited to be joined by Dana mall staff. If you don't know who Dana is. She is author of the book boss, mom and host of the boss, mom podcast. Her membership site is called boss, mom, vault. She's also built a thriving community inside of Facebook group. Dana, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I'm super pumped to be here. So today, Dana, and I are going to explore how to build a loyal and engaged community inside of Facebook groups. Before we go there, I would love to hear your story Dana. How in the world did you get into Facebook groups start wherever you want to start? Sure. So I think the the best place to start is the my last night at my last job I left and everybody took me out and bought me to Keila shots, and I got pregnant. And by my husband, which he tells me his way too much information for people. But I think we're all adults. So what year was this? Just on a curiosity is two thousand and it was New Year's Eve, I guess a two thousand twelve going into two thousand thirteen. And so I found myself a brand new entrepreneurs. I would like to call myself and a a going to be mom. I started, you know, being mom in Ardmore at the same time, I had no idea how to do either. I wanted to be amazing at both, and it was is very scary. And one of the things I found was living in Columbus, Ohio at the time was I was surrounded by people who all had jobs, and I was founded by people who didn't have kids yet, and even though I was thirty, but n- none of our none of our friends had children. And so I just felt alone isolated. And one of the things I knew right off the bat was that I was not built to be stay at home. Mom. I'm completely envious of the women that are amazing at it and love it, and it's not me. And so I started sending. My son when he was born to a daycare and I would stay home and work, and there's a mass amount of built that comes along with working at home and sending your baby to school, and and I felt really bad about it even though that's what I really wanted to do. I felt there were people that were great at hanging out with my kid during the day and teaching him all the things, and I got to nurture him and love him in the mornings and the evenings, and that works for me. So I at one point I was in a Panara working while my son was a couple months old. You know sleeping and I saw a mom, her daughter in a grandma in the in the cafe together, and it just made me start crying and I'm from southern California. My parents are native to San Diego, and so I asked my husband was negative, eleven degrees in, you know, in Columbus, Ohio, and I just said, I really wanna move to San Diego and he was like, I'll quit my job tomorrow. We'll sell the house like this is not a hard. So and and so two months later we were here in San Diego. My son was five months old and his. Beautiful. Amazing thing happened. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people who had businesses and people who had kids and had businesses, and I because California's real expensive to live in. Right. Well, you know what, though, it's just this, it's just this culture where that's okay, and that's more there's more risk taking and more excitement. I think happening here from an entrepreneurial standpoint. Yeah, maybe the weather makes us happier in and want to take more risks or maybe just people that that naturally, you know, feel that way gravitate towards, you know, San Diego, but it I found myself in an environment where I stopped feeling so crazy and started feeling like I was amongst other people who were doing similar thing, and it's a really powerful space to be in. And so I started chugging along and went to how rods best year ever blueprint was invited to go there and ended up meeting some people restarted a mastermind and one of them was a Zule Toronto's who helped Pat. Great, his will it fly book actually his way before that happened. And he was in my master my we hung out and he helped me write my book. So I wanted to get a story out there about how I didn't wasn't guilty, but didn't feel guilty anymore and how we shouldn't about how we raise our children and wanting to also create other things outside of our children in this world. And that's how boss mom was born in once. Like once you see something working and it just started catching on like wildfire. Once you see something working, you just you fan the flame as much as humanly possible. And so we boss mobbed everything. We could boss mom and creating the community because we wanted it to be a movement was one of the very first things that we did in the Facebook community. And then we just did this summer launched the actual in-person boss. Mom need ups and have started taking it not just online, but offline as well. The community, you really need mean a Facebook group, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think there's so much more of people meeting just outside of a Facebook group. Yeah. I mean, the Facebook group is the biggest place. I would say where I get to control the culture and get to start to create a foundation for what people expect from the culture. And I think that's the biggest thing that I know we'll get into today with Facebook groups is it's not a community. It's it's not just a community. It's a culture where creating a culture were making decisions about what's okay and not. Okay. And what people should expect just like you would going into a building at a company and when you start thinking about it that way you start treating it differently than I think a lot of people treat their Facebook groups these days. So before we get into how you actually built your group, can you share some metrics about its size and maybe like who is inside that group? Just a quick little. I'm assuming this fellow boss moms, but how big is your tribe over there? Yeah. So we have just I believe, over thirty three. Thousand. We hit the I ten thousand in the first year or pretty much all of our of all of our members came in organically either recommended by by Facebook or through through referrals of friends. We get on average about a hundred and twenty new members organically every single week and oh, about seventy percent. I think it was the last thing we looked at this week, seventy percent of our members are active every single month we generally have about. I think eighty five to eighty nine thousand interactions. Every single month we have. I'm not positive number off the top of my head, but I think it's like five thousand actual coasts each and every month. So it's very, it's not just a growing group. Although we we control very, very tightly how it grows and how quickly can grow. But it is. It is a one. The highest engage in groups. People who told me they've ever seen. That's awesome. Okay. Well, let's go back to how in the world you built this group and what we can learn from it. Yeah, sure. So in the beginning, I did what a lot of people probably did, which is I created a group and Facebook, and then I started posting in it, and then I tried to tell people they should come hang out with me and kind of sat there and was the only one posting for a period of time, which is sad and depressing, and people get very forlorn about Ken new Facebook groups actually work because there's this, there's this space where they think they have to run the group. And so one of the biggest things that I have told people that I really believe is the key to create in community and creating a tribe and growing that and growing the, the culture in the community in a way were really engaged is to stop thinking you're the host is to stop thinking, you're the manager, you know, if you were in a corporate setting. They would tell you the best kind of management is bottom up management, right? So so it's not about you making rules and regulations about it's about you setting a tone and then just like any community or tribe would do other people start to assimilate roles. People naturally become the polices and people naturally become the, you know, the motivators and people naturally become the leaders in the administrators and the project managers, and you know the informants in all of those things. And so what what you want to do is allow people that space? I think we hold so tightly the ownership of a group or anything in our businesses in our lives that we lose the opportunity for other people to help us get what we want done and did a Facebook group. It's no, it's no different. So I think allowing people to become ambassadors early on and not just become embassador to say, hey, come in post in my group, but actually reaching out and saying, hey, how can we make this better? What would you like it before? You know, I always. Commend people before you just start creating prompts every week. So every day you're going in and creating prompts, don't don't put those in your group yet. Once your group get some people in asked a group, what kind of prompts they might want to see. Back. Let me take you back to the early days. So in the beginning, what were you doing wrong. Well, I definitely think I was posting hoping that other people would comment on my post. I thought it was my entire job to engage everybody. That's what it was. If I, if I didn't create posts that were engaging, the nobody would engage instead of instead of recognizing that people are naturally engaging on their own. If I set the tone for the way, the group is meant to be a scene, an engaged in, then people will pick that up. And I, you know, we talked before a little bit before we hooked on about one of my favorite tactics isn't just to say, hey, comment below in my post, it's to create some kind of challenge or calling for people to post on their own. So if you're getting started in what you want is more people to post outside of yourself. You know, I started to do instead of trying to do all the post myself. I would go in and I would say, hey, guys, you know, I was just doing this. You know, trying to figure out the best music today. So what I'd love each of you to do is, you know. Oh, post a video of yourself as your tone post doing a fun dance or, hey, everybody, you know, we all have a, it's hard to be moms and entrepreneurs. I want you to write your own post and talk about this struggle, or you know, or or post one article on this thing or do something like that. And so I would ask people not to comment in my post, but to create their own posts. And then as you start to do that, Facebook algorithm starts to think you're more interesting because other people think you're more interesting and then they start telling where people you exist in. That's when the magic starts to happen. That engine starts to run naturally. Okay. So before we get into the tactics as we're going to definitely get into the tactics, what I'm more interested in understanding is how in the world did your group grow in little that little less about like what were the tactics that you did? Like how are people discovering group? You know, what were you doing to get the word out about your group? And then we'll get into kind of like some of the tactics a little bit later, but what did you do to get it to thirty thousand? Yeah, I didn't hang out in my Facebook group, and that might seem counter intuitive, but I hung out in other places in untold people about my Facebook group. So I went and got interviewed on every podcast I could get into Zied on. I went and guest post on other people's guest posts. I went into other people's groups and offered up free training. You know, collaborated with the people who are running. The groups went offer up, you know, free training or or whatever I could to be seen and visible in that space. And then tell people about my space. I started the boss mom, podcasts, so I could have at the end of every episode, it's go to go here and get. Into our group. So I actually spent less time in my group and more time being the person outside telling people to get in my group. So what a Hugh you saying is you decided that as you were creating content and participate in providing value in other people's communities, your act, one of the call to actions was to if you want to hang around with more people like me, come on over to my group. Is that what I'm hearing you say that was your call to action? Well, it's not about hanging around people that are like me when one of the things that I teach is it's way easier to sell a movement than it is to sell a service and a product. So if you have a business, it's just based on the only thing you have to talk about is what you do and what you sell, what your services are packages are at that's harder to do than it is to talk about what you care about, what what other people are going to stand by you for what you're all going to stand up and want to support each other or rally for. And so I think the real key to is that. I didn't just start a group on how to do something. I didn't start marketing group. You know, I didn't start any of those which those are. There's a massive amount of successful ones. What I chose to do is I chose to create a group based around how we feel the world should be. So I teach people how to do like a movement manifesto, which is, you know, what is it that we want to stand for? I'm the mom, doesn't wanna be judged for working at home when my kids go to school, you know, I want to be able to to not shower for the day because I have two tiny children and know with certainty that it is not diminish my intelligence, you know. And so what we did is we just started coming up with these phrases that that people got excited about said, yeah, I want to hang out with other women that feel that way. I want to hang out with other women that you know live their life that way and a exude that kind of energy. And then we made this promise to people, which I think is really important when you're building any kind of community and want to set what the tone is is we may. A promise. Everybody we said, we will fiercely protect you. We will be your your protector in this space. If somebody attacks you, they are out like we kicked people out like crazy because you do not attack our community. You come in and your negatives. You know, you judge people for the way they potty train or the way they run their business. You're out like we just don't. We just don't let it happen. I don't. I don't care about the numbers of the community so much as I care about the community. And because of that, my numbers grow. That's just like when people say, hey, give stuff away for free and give content and be helpful, and you will get that back tenfold in the revenue in your business. It's the same thing for the way you grow the community care more about your community than about the numbers of your community in your community will naturally rally around. You grew transition my next question. You use the word tone in use the word community for for the person listening right now who wants to start a Facebook group, but is concerned about setting that tone or that culture. What do they need to be thinking about before. They get started. Yeah. So one of the first things is, what do you want people to come to your group? Four. Are they coming to get tips and tricks? You know, tips. Are they coming to? Are they coming to find information about events or locations? Are they coming to the space? I support. Are they coming to the space to commiserate complain together? Are they coming to it too? In our case, we're big on think tanking. And I and I believe that's a really good tactic to take in my opinion is where people can help brainstorm together in a safe space, and a lot of paid groups do that. You know, if you buy a course on webinars, new, go into that group and you guys can brainstorm about webinars, and so we just created that kind of space in the free group, but decide what it is you want people to come there for. 'cause if you're looking about setting the tone than the words you use about what they're going to get when they get in is very important. You've gotta know this is a positive play. Where we support each other eighty percent business, twenty percent parenting, and you are going to think tank which means ask us your questions because what we want to help you do is create decision confidence because you don't need another thing to be guilty about. That's a really suspect way for me to talk about my group. People know what they're getting when they come in and I've set that tone. It's positive. It's support. They've got a good good community, and and so you've gotta decide first and foremost what you want people to actually get out of your group. And that's just like looking at what your target audiences like people don't spend enough time there because they assume they know. But if you don't spend the time to map it out than than you don't know how to stand behind what you believe. When the rules of engagement are broken in your group and then things quickly, I want to ask a rookie question which I'm guessing others are thinking as well. We're in the world. We put that statement. Does Facebook make it easy for someone who wants to come into the group to have a little tagline or something? Yeah. Well, your description is available to everybody whether they're in the group or not. So the description is on the sidebar and anybody who even wants to get in your group can see it. We now have announcement, we used to have pinned posts, but now we have announcements, you can have multiple of them and then you can pin any one of those announcements at any given time. We have a video of from me telling them what to expect in the group and how to engage. And I tell them just as much what to post as I tell them what they can't post, and then you also get three questions that you can ask them and and two of those questions we use to help them understand the rules engagement within the group. Of the of the questions the questions? Yeah. So one is, oh gosh, and you're gonna ask me to do this off the top of my head. Perfect. But just the concept, you know what I mean? Like what conceptually are you asking is you know, this is a, this is a support of positive support group where we don't come into judge people for our parenting or business decisions. We come to help support each other, make business in parenting decisions. You know, if you understand that that's, you know that that's the kind of environment here. They break these rules. We reserve the right to kick you out immediately without question. You know, our strongest belief is to support each other. So this is a safe place for you to engage the boss, mom. So it's one, do you understand? Does this make, you know, do you agree to statement? And then it's asking for them to agree with the statement. That's the first question, right? Yeah, yeah. And that. And that's really what would it is like we, we've tested out asking people to give us information about themselves, but to be perfectly honest, I get that information when I get them on my Email list. You know, I'm not going to. When we found that we tr- we tested it out trying to take out those questions about the rules of engagement about being supportive in the community and that they can't post their own videos. They can't. We have specific one specific promo day if we see anything where they're just posting a picture themselves in a blog post post about how helpful they are and how this thing they discovered with nobody asked for it that it will get deleted, need, understand them. If you do that a couple times, we're going to kick you out. And when we took those out the spam in our and we call it a spam Soroush 'cause we talk have fun language who I don't be spam source. Then we found that that that those posts went up. So we do fact that those questions help deter those questions and the welcome video that we ask them to read within those k- read, read the pin posts and watch the pin video is the very first thing you do in this group. We have found that that does help keep down people that are breaking the rules on winter winter grip. It's pretty big. You know, I have somebody on my team on my team. I don't ask the ambassadors to do this. They do it naturally a little bit, but I have somebody on my team that that lets people in kicks people out when to get to the size that we're at, it would be it would be a deterrent of engagement to ask the people who are the ambassadors in leader within the group to take on that burden. Where's the second question you ask people. So the second one is about not being able to post promo posts, unless it's part of a promo thread, they can't post day. Can't go lie on the only one unless other authorized otherwise authorized that can go live in the group and the and and basically it's a what they can and can't do. Do you must it's a, you know, put in, I agree in the answer or something like that, right. It's acknowledging that that they've received that and then to us any more questions than that. Do you recommend any more questions than that. Asking a fait are want to get free resources in if so to give us their Email and we get about fifty percent or so give or take five percent each month that gives me. Okay. Next question. Can you export that list of answers or how do you get that onto there now from from what we've seen up until this week. So who knows? Because Facebook always changes it, but no, I have a VA who she has a a morning task and one of her morning tasks is to let people in kick people out a flag. Any posts that have that. She doesn't know whether they should go or not. So things that are maybe political or religious base that we don't allow in the group and and she goes in and get pulls those questions into a spreadsheet. And then my tech person imports them into our system, and then we have a welcome Email to to those people that tell them specifically why they're getting an E mail because they're in the Facebook group. This is what happened. This is what to expect, and then we ask them how they want to engage with us in. They're able to then click. In option of free resources they can get. So we kind of tag, I use entre port, which is a relatively complex system, but so we can do more things with them. But yeah, the the main thing is we want them to understand how to engage in the group I, and then I will get all of the other information about where they are in their business in their challenges later or just by everybody getting to know each other in the group, the post you UPN and the video that you create. Are they the same message or a different message than what you're asking them when they took the questionnaire? Well, it's it's relatively the same. It's it's a little more in depth in my video. I let my personality out. I'm a little quirky. I use my hands a lot. I like to make, you know, weird relationship and dating references in analogies. And I, I like to what I said, call the elephants out of the out of the room sir in the room. So know I tell them like, hey, I see you lurker zero coming into this group in your hanging. Out and guess what you're going to get. Absolutely no value by just reading other people's posts. Like I'm challenging you your first making this group go and post something. And so I call out the Lakers and I cut, you know, you have a little fun with it, so people can get to know you and feel like they like you. I tell them a little bit about my myself and how I engage with the group and how they can get to know everybody and some of the stories, you know, other people in the group. And I'd say every I dunno, six to nine months. I redo the video because my life is different. You know? And I wanna be whatever is the new me unsuitably changing. But I think the big thing is is people want to get to know you like like just like most people say like, perfection just doesn't sell as well as as authentic city these days. Perfect. Love, absolutely love all these ideas that you're setting in motion. Even someone listening right now who has a Facebook group but has not set the cultural place could adopt this and you know, but I love the idea that that you are making it so clear every beginning stage that this is who we are, this is how we behave. Now, I want to transition into your engagement techniques because I know you got a bazillion of them. So you've got a group of active moms and and let's just start going through some of these tactics and if you want, you can revisit some of the ones you briefly mentioned before wherever you want to start. Let's dig into each one of these little tactics law, so so first off, pretty much everybody in the group has a business or wants to start a business. Right? And so here's the biggest challenge that people have, how do I engage in this group and helped my business. Right. That's. I mean, that's the question. What they're doing is they're watching what everybody else does. Does so that they can see how people engage, they can see what's allowed. That's why the video is great. It it breaks down that wall so they can start engaging. So one of my favorite things is to get people to have the group helped them make decisions. So some and I call it just your buzz plan, right? Like how are we creating buzz for what it is you want people to know about you by asking them to help you make decisions about what you're making you're doing. So some of the easiest examples are you're writing a book, your starting a podcast, you're launching a program while you put covers of three options of covers of the book, and you get people to vote on which one they like best like huge amounts of comments because everybody has an opinion, you have a podcast cover, what covered people like, we'll get clarification. This is you the host of the group, not go member or single member. If you have something that you want people to vote on, then you can. I always tell people voting posts and where you're asking him to help you make a decision is. Always allowed. You can say, hey, I'm starting this podcast. It's gonna come out in a month. I have to do side what my you know what my covers look like, like, hey, I have this optin resource that I'm working on, and I have no idea what to make or what to name it or what my theme should be, or I'm working on my brand, which these, which one of these logos do you like best? Those are all allowed is. I mean, obviously, group rules change, but in most groups that will allow you to ask questions. You're not there's no links to your stuff. You know, people can't get to your podcast. They can't go anywhere. But what you're doing is you're creating those seven to ten touch points from a business standpoint for people to see what you're doing, get familiar with you and it creates massive engagement. 'cause we said, hey, like when we were doing the very first boss mama treat, and I said, hey, guys, we're trying to figure out like I've got a rent furniture, which style do you like best? And we had pictures of, you know, like twenties and pictures of modern and pictures of classic. And we got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. Oil posting about that, and I did that and other groups as well. We actually made really great sales in for the retreat from post like that without ever putting a link to wear the retreat could be found to buy a ticket. And so not only does it help create engagement, but it also is just a great tactic from a business standpoint. And that's when things really become a think tank, you know, a ham doing market research who here has dogs. What you know, tell me when it comes to dogs, like what's the biggest challenge you have ABC so so it's really easy for people to go. Ooh, I like a, you know, a couple of quick questions on this. Well, first of all, we did this in one of the episodes of the journey. My video documentary will reset black covered or blue carpet, and everybody was like making their votes. You know, and I was whispering plot, plaque blacks. And of course we ended up picking blue, but it was perhaps the most. It was perhaps the most like engaging video that we'd done because that was just injected in there. Now, I would imagine you as the host of the group. I could start by leading by example right by doing some of these kinds of posts. But how do you encourage others to do those kind of posts? Do they just start modeling after you? Because that might be a little trickier. I'm just curious what you do to get others in your group to start making similar kinds of posts. Well, one of the things we do is we have in my video. I tell people they should do it, so I just give them. So like I said, in my welcome video, it's just as important to tell people what they can do as what they can't. Most is. That's fascinating. Yeah, come in here and don't post promos, don't spam us and don't do all these things. People are like, well, shoot. Now I'm scared. I don't know what I can do break down the fear and say, you know what? You can do. What's one burning question you have in your business or in your in your personal life or your mom life. Post the question lead with questions like everybody in sales lead with questions like in marketing, lead questions that I mean, you don't know what to do in your business. Ask questions. It's just a good, true. Any tribe, the tribe, and then when they do it and they start to see how many people are interacting with it, they start, you know, others that don't do it. Say, maybe I should do it too. I get that. That's awesome. Okay. So I add vices. Help people have posted, help people make decisions. What's another example of ways to get people to engage inside the group. Well, okay, so we're helping make decisions. One of the other fun ones is just celebrating with each other. So hey, guys might I finally potty trained my son post your favorite gif of the moment when your kid was first potty trained, right? Or oh my goodness. We just hit a for. If you're hosting a group, we just said a hundred people. We actually do do a live dance party where I go live, we all I, I, I asked the community, hey, we're about hit milestone, put in a Nate. Tell me songs that you want me to play, and we're going to vote on a song for us to dance to in the next dance party. So right there, I'm creating engagement and then I go live and I do celebrate story live, you know of and now we have to do it by every like five thousand. 'cause we're growing so fast, but we used to do it every hundred. And actually if you go to the boss, mom site, we have our compilation of moms that submitted dancing. So we made a celebratory we hid thousand like two years ago, two thousand Facebook group members, and we did a, I paid to. Have this dance video made its. Wow, okay. Yes, celebrate celebration ones where people, I mean, posting gifts is like an addiction. People can't help it right, sang songs that they love. So anything that's how should I celebrate this or celebrate this with me is a is a great way to get people super pumped about what like what you're doing. But also people will actually spend more time than they should searching the perfect gift. You know. You said something really fascinating this, I you said, how should I celebrate blink? That's a question right? And then actually have the celebration post, right? So so you're asking, I'm coming up on, let's say, nine years at social media examiner. How should we celebrate? Right. Get all the ideas. Perhaps take one or two of those ideas and then do another post that says, hey, we're celebrating nine years and you know, blah, blah, blah, you know, paste your favorite gift or whatever. Right. Is that what I'm hearing you say? Yeah, yeah. So so we kind of have it as like a multi step process, hey, we're doing the retreat. I'm so pumped. We're going to be celebrating the whole time. Tell us your, what do you want on the list for the DJ to play while we're there more, hey, like we're going to carry. Okay for this thing, what songs will would you karaoke like, hey, what? Yeah. So milestones celebrate with me, how should I celebrate if you know people aren't going to be there like that that I. Of celebration and getting people to help you decide how is always a good idea and it can be it doesn't even have to be something within the group. If you're saying, hey, my son's about to turn four, everybody posts their favorite birthday party, you know, cake and all of those things where people can't help themselves. They, they want to tell you what they like to have a theme for a business party or something like that. And we need some creative ideas of how to take a space that's just got concrete walls and make it something more exciting. Right? I would imagine so. So how often should we? I mean, I would imagine we could potentially over celebrate because we could come up with something to celebrate every week if we wanted to. But is there ever any limit to this or do you want to just do use this sparingly. You know, I, I think it really depends, and it depends on your group. If you have a group of like positive action hungry people than you could be celebrating all the time we'd for, I will tell you. So we did a boss mom of the week for the first entire year of boss, mom every week we would celebrate somebody would pick them out and we'd write a post about them. They would submit answers to questions or right, a post about them, and then we would celebrate them in the Facebook group, you know? So you can. So that was a weekly celebration of a individual person. And and I, you know, we don't do that anymore because we just gotten so big that the requests for celebrating became really hard to pick everybody. And we have the podcast and all those things, but you know, so we would do weekly celebration than we were doing every hundred. You know. So we, you don't want to do it every day. You don't wanna make it so that people stop. It's just like jargon jargon is the words that we use. So often that we all think we know what it means, but we all actually believe it to mean something different. It loses its its own for us in it's, you know, it's actually usefulness. It's the same thing. You don't really wanna like everything in moderation, but I would say you could technically celebrate something. If you're in a group as big as mine, you know where we get hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of posts every single day things. It's like Twitter, things get lost within a very short period of time. And so we could celebrate something every single week and and nobody would think it's overdone so far. We've talked about put posts up that help people make decisions, and we've talked about celebration posts. What are some other things that we can do to get people engaged inside of our Facebook group? Yeah. So we talked about a movement, right? And and we can ask questions about our principles, things that we care about. And so this is where it's really important if you have not set the rules of what your culture is and be very wary of this kind of post. Because if you have, you know, for instance, in the boss. Mom's group, we don't allow political or religious posts, and that simply because controversial there too controversial and in my opinion, it doesn't matter what what religion or political belief you have. If you're a boss, mom and talk about business, and you can talk about parenting in the other things are for other groups. And there are other amazing group. In fact, we've done posts where we ask people who have political or religious groups, please post them here. Hey, if you've got you know, groups that are for pet owners, put them here. Hey, if you've got groups for pregnant, women put them here. So we actually help promote outside posts of current are outside groups of current members where people can have an outlet for that particular kind of topic. So if you aren't really clear and that's a really good way by the way to keep everybody happy because we've had my absolutely had people that have come in said, really mean things to me and call me really bad names because I don't let people talk about those things in the groups. Principles than that are that you're posting side recoup. So people understand that the principal, for instance, like I should be able to work at home and send my kids to school and not have to feel guilty about it. You just post that statement and that's it? No. I mean, yeah, I could probably post that statement, put a hilarious gif in everybody would celebrate with maybe like, yeah, I'm in the right place, you know. But no, what would I would generally say is, hey, so I have this really strong belief, right? And it can be something fun. It can be like I had this really strong belief that I am a woman and a mom and entrepreneur, and I should be able to wear a collared shirt on top with yoga pants and a pair heels. So I could be all three at once. Like who is with me. Under that, I would say, what are you post a picture of what you're wearing today. Fascinating. Okay. So so you're making a declarative statement that you know your tribal relate to or or that will get them talking. Right? You can also say I have a four year old and for the love while the totally I cannot potty train them. He's wet the bed every single night for the last month. 'cause anybody else here have a four year old that wears pull ups and they are just not feeling guilty about it and you'll get all of these women that will be like, yes, yes, my son, seven like gets okay. You're with good people. So it's it's the things that are. It's not just about what you care about. I mean, I actually just listened to like an NPR interview about authenticity, and they were saying, authenticity is most received declared his authenticity. When people believe that you're saying something that they believe is true, but they don't believe they can say out loud. So I am giving voice to what other people are thinking. And so that's what we give people permission to do. Do say, hey, tell us what you're thinking, what you believe in what you care about within the mom and the entrepreneur space. And then let's all band together and Nikki feel not sold on my whole second book, confessions of a boss, mom it. The tagline is like, you know, you're not alone, which is stories of women in all different situations to show you that whatever you think is you're going through right now that you're the only one in the universe going through it. You're not other people are going through it. You don't have to feel so crazy. You can feel connected. And that's what those statements do helps people feel connected and then people go. I found this group in it is full of my people and I am loyal to those people. Time, but as are any other engagement techniques that we have not mentioned that you would wanna mention? A one almost may be the most important one is is actually not about what you post. It's about how to reinvigorate your posts. So like I was saying, especially if you're in groups that are big boss, moms things are going to fall back quickly. They're going to, they're going to not be able to see them because there's so many posts happening. So it's your job to reinvigorate post. So what I tell people is when you write a post as soon as people start engaging, you know, most people go in and they like like like like comic comic comment. And I said, no, you have to be slow in slow and easy like don't put out so much when it comes to your your responses and what you wanna do is like one let it sit for a while. Like one let it sit for awhile because every time you do that, it pops the post backup to the top of the group in new people. See it. I'm a little confused. Who are you talking about? The host of the group should go in and like it every once in a while the person who posted it. So if I'm in anybody else's group, it doesn't matter who's group I'm in and I ride a post and I said, hey, ladies, I'm trying to figure out, you know, what do you like Jay, z? Your JT. 'cause I'm trying to figure out my song for walking down the aisle at, you know, for the retreat and people start posting, I need to not go in and respond to everybody's post at once. I respond to one or two at a time, so that in case people aren't engaging. I can go in comment or like things that people have commented on ended actually pushes the post backup. So whether I'm the one responding to somebody or liking it or someone else's commenting, it's still pushes it back up. So you can keep one post alive for a good week or more. And once it's been up on the top for long enough, they call it a trending posted. It starts to trend up on top and show it to more people. And then the Facebook algorithm works where the more people that are commenting on it, the more people that it shows in their feed. So now. Now you can really get momentum on things. And then if you have a post and you write it and nobody comments, Cleese edited people, what they do is they write it and then they nobody comments in. They're like, oh, well, that's dead. Now I'll try another one. No, it's like a course or anything else you would make its reiterations and the tweaking that makes things successful delivery posted, or would you just? No, I just I just re at it and then I will go ask a friend to comment on it to push it back to the top and see if that reiteration works and you'd be amazed at how many times I have. You know, two or three times edited my post and the third time's a charm or tons of my clients will vox romance. Dan, this post didn't work. I would look at it and I go, oh, well, that's because you phrased it this way. That was a terrible idea phrase it this way. And they changed the phrasing and all of a sudden it starts. It starts to engage, so don't let your post die without a little bit of effort. I love this because this is an acknowledgement that there is now grid play here and that engagement matters and that if there is a really good post. And it's been a little while since there's been any engagement aren't that you can do small little things to kind of make sure it gets legs, and I think that's really cool and that's within a group or not. Do we have time? I have one other to go for like killer. Okay. So if you have something that you're putting out, whether it's in your and I actually believe you can promote in your group, I knew flash sales in my group. I do. You know, sales in my group, we were doing a Labor Day sale. I sell things in my group and it works just fine for me. So I know that doesn't work for some people, but I think mine has enough activity that it doesn't feel overbearing, but whether you're in a group or Facebook page or wherever, if you're gonna launch something for the six weeks before you're going to launch, you want to prime the pump. And what that means is the Facebook algorithm will tell more people about you, the more engaged they thank you are if they think you're popular, then they're gonna make you more popular. It's how it's how the algorithm works, right. So what people do is they waste that priming of the pump on import. Things like really important blog posts that they really want people to read that's going to help them, you know, get past limiting beliefs and buy their stuff or they're just going to tell them to go to the Ogden in the nobody sees it. Nobody ops in instead ask questions that have nothing to do with what it is that you're creating, but that you know people can't help but comment on. So the celebration posts the, hey, I was in the supermarket, and the person in front of me whipped out forty coupons, get everybody post a gift for how you would feel if that was happening to you right now, here is mine and then people post impose supposed to what happens is for six weeks, at least once a week. You're doing six different posts that people can't like cats or dogs. They cannot help, but post and like and engage at it primes the pump. So at the week, six, when you start actually posting about your opt in or your program or the sale or whatever it is you have Facebook already thinks you're popular in the show you two more people, whether it's in your group or whether it's on your page and more people will see it organic. Weekly because you prime the pump fasten. Well, Dana, I know you and I could keep talking for a very, very long time. However, I also know that there's a place where they can discover more about you. So wanted to tell everybody if they're interested in in following you and all the great things you've got going on, where would they? Where do you want to send them? Easiest places just boss, dash mom dot com. That'll take you to our Facebook group. It will take you to the podcast. It'll take you to our free resources to all of the other things that you can possibly pay me for all of that. Fun stuff happens on on our site and actually justed a completely new photo shoot, where we're, we're really pulling playfulness into the brand because I'm a big believer in playfulness. And and so we're going to be putting up all new pictures, so you wanna hang out now so you can see the new revamp. Thank you so much for coming on insurance sites with us. Now, thank you for having me. It's been a blast. Value in today's podcast episode with anything you heard, don't worry. We take all the notes for you simply visits, social media, examiner dot com slash three, two, three, and also don't forget to check out social media marketing world. We have tons of great content all around Facebook, check it out at social media world, nineteen dot com. Also have you checked out our brand new show called the journey if not check that up a visiting social media, examiner dot com slash journey. This brings us to the end of another episode of the social media marketing podcast, and I'm your fast talk and host Michael steles ner. I'll be back within next week. I promise. I hope you make the absolute best out of your day and may social media continue to change your world. The social media marketing podcast is a production of social media. He'd semina-.

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Chris Cowlbeck of the IBOUSA

The Billboard Insider Podcast

29:20 min | 2 years ago

Chris Cowlbeck of the IBOUSA

"Hi, I'm Dave Westberg. And you're listening to the board insider podcast where I interview industry leaders about trends impacting the US out of home advertising business. This podcast is sponsored by billboard loans dot com. A non Bank Bank, which provides financing the out of home advertising. Companies billboard loans has been lending to the out of home industry for over twenty two years, but we're loans fast smart committed. Today's guest is Chris Cowburn, Chris is general manager for look billboards and out of whom advertising company with more than one hundred and ten traditional faces and five digital billboards in Ardmore, Oklahoma, Chris's also general manager of the Ibero USA networking group, which promotes the interests of independent billboard operators in the US. And Chris is the only out of home executive. I know who wears cowboy boots to work. Welcome to the show. Chris. As a great intro. Dave, and yeah, the cowboy boots were in central Oklahoma and come up around to ranching community and some of those ranching farmer concepts and try to keep things simple. And a definitely want to be comfortable around, our advertisers. Renting, Chris how did you get any out of home advertising business? You know, we definitely didn't start out that way, basically, our family businesses, a real estate boutique sales operation that started back in the early seventies. So about forty eight years ago, as it turns out that one of our sales agents was a person that did some out of home, and we wound up getting a billboard by our office building way back in saw the benefits of that my personal background is that I'm in a construction management careers where I started out and did construction estimating on heavy instruction and moved into some project engineering and then slowly into managing couple high rise buildings in downtown Saint expect in the eighties in ninety. Came back to Ardmore to run our family business named after my mother Maureen who Tenneco does to taught me too hard work and persistence really does pay dividends. So I built houses run a mortgage. Brokerage for dozen or so years before the big crash and Denson real estate development. But I really have found that my true love is for the outta home world, which is a some of my design awareness capabilities kissed an aside was real estate a good background for what you do in out of home. Oh, really it enabled me to get very comfortable with the terms leases in ways to administer things and much like being property manager for high rise buildings that enabled me that do have coordinate of type things of scheduling elevator times in different tenant improvements. Basically juggling a million balls at the same time all toward a good outcome. That was a great Pratt for me to figure out how to juggle are really complex digital scheduler that we use now as well as cardinal. The cats will the US I tell us about look billboard. Sure billboard company in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Yeah. And that that's a fun thing to childhood friend of mine business partner. Now, Charlie clo- sat Muth may on a local tourism authority back in mid nineties way to try to grow the income for businesses Charlie is a gasoline jobber in say store, owner operator, and he really knows the value. Billboards has got him on the interstate and different places. We also had one outside of our offices. I mentioned which is now arrive yo headquarters share in Ardmore, Oklahoma, when the city fathers turned away our suggestion that they could have a revenue stream by managing billboards to fund the advertising marketing needed to grow the community. We decided to hack we got young kids will do it ourselves opportunity for you guys. We didn't think know much about how to do it. And so leeann somewhat artistic in design oriented myself we decided that we would drive up and down the interstate. And keep focused on the center lines of the roads. And whatever cost we would keep our eyes on the road and not look away if something caught a peripheral vision jumped in and pull the eyeballs out of our head whatever it was caused to the color combination. The picture a whatever it was we would turn and look at it. And make note of whatever was about that design that made note, that's why we named our company look billboards as in pull the eyeballs out of your head looks. And so we lovingly now call our customers lookers, and we like to have fun and even things very Chris you which is a bit unusual as as small as an independent out of home company in smaller market, you have five Digital's. Can you talk a little about that? How you've managed to grow your digital signs. And how you how you manage the digital signs? Sure. That was an interesting thing one or watch fire madman award back about ten years ago for this odd way that we come into doing are. Scheduling we've hired a consultant to said for small town at twenty five thousand sub Trade Center. My how many Digital's could we stand to have in that market? Definitely came back. One don't add more than one Trade Center ads gripe, but one we had three great locations, and we were trying to figure out how in the heck can we pick which one we picked one to the detriment of the others replaces Maya so we figured out with the tone at the time that there was a lot of nervousness about the different inefficacious type councils and whatnot said he fathers might not approve digital way decided that we would go in only if we could figure out how to rotate them we've got a had a successful rotary traditional poster plant that had worked well for the economy level that we have here allow people to move around to the different arterials. And we decided the only way that we would do digital as if we could figure out a way to rotate them on a network while at that point in time there were no available software packages. The manufacturers didn't know. How to do it in? We thought we were down now to relax after about two or three weeks thinking about it. I woke up in the middle of the night with an algorithm that enabled me to do something rather complex. It's a lot of work, but it enabled us to sell one contract and rotated every period of time like every four minutes every eight minutes to another location and in doing that we decided to launch three at the same time at the bottom of the market crisis back when the Dow Jones was about sixty six hundred we bought three Digital's in rolled forward in operated about one hundred twenty five percent of our pro forma for a couple of years labs own run out and that caused us to then add two more. So we have three boards that are triple play. And then there are two boards that we added that are the double play to to go after a baseball fame. And of course, if we wanted to do all five boards, we would combine the double play on the triple play together, we would have a grand slam. And so that has done very well for us over the years, and we're excited to be teaching a lot of our IB. Oh people. Think we're gonna conference coming up. We're going to have a session on Friday morning that will talk about are some of these different styles of going in selling in rural markets. One other interesting thing is maybe we'll talk about is how you manage your billboards as you grow your small, you can keep your all your data on an excel spreadsheet. But as you grows, you get above fifty faces you really need a better way to keep track of receivables, keep track of leases to keep crack of scheduling on your boards, and this becomes acute when your inventory goes up eight x per digital sign. How do you manage basically your software? How you run your billboards? What sort of software to use to help run your billboards about four and a half years ago? A gentleman named Jim own Iran. Next Media back on the east coast. Now is GM been a main president third Espy straight suggests that I talked to apparatus media solutions about a number of things that I tested at pro platform out back. It's a bit in we utilize that now that incorporates proposals instantly switches them into offers, which went signed have scan codes on there that we can scan into create automated billing records posting records for traditional and digital scheduling all in an automated fashion I used to spend a day day and a half doing my billing to make sure that I didn't miss something that everybody would posted get an invoice everybody. It came down didn't get it invoice, and it was fairly tedious. Now, I can say that most of the time my billing on a monthly basis takes about ninety seconds can take up to two or three minutes. If I forgotten to check something along the way, we got interrupted. But it is an enormous times. I time just from the billing, but it was also allowed me to put together a proposal in a minute two minutes in a very professional way and get that out. So the more proposals that I can send out the more hit ratio that I have revenues are good in bottom line is I'm more efficient have more time for my family in allows me, frankly. To spend a lion. Share my time managing the Ibero USA group as general manager less paperwork and less administrative Lia in more strategic executive type decisions sounds Ryan. And the paperwork goes piper less. Yes, I'll scan it's all automated. Now, the beauty is with one button to button clicks pushes to QuickBooks online. And automatically all your invoices are calculated in put into place, your CRM has managed one platform in updates QuickBooks online when you have changes in the apparatus system than that is the structure of scared for large large companies in the IBM platform is caused a scaled down simpler version that doesn't include real estate module, all the IB. Oh few sales which number of our folks are interested in and implementing now perfect. Thanks. Let's take a little break to pay the bills few things are more frustrating than having to educate your Bank around the out of advertising business liberal loans dotcom zone. By Trig is who have been lending to out of home advertising companies for twenty two years. We also own out of home advertising company. That means we will waste your time with stupid questions, we make loans based on your company's cash flow. And we understand that your billboards are worth way more than the steel billboard loans dot com. Fast smart committed. Chris you mentioned that you run the ideal USA or the independent billboard operators. USA? What does it do? How does it help out of home companies? Well, first off the Ivy does mission is pretty simple. It's an effort to combine the synergies of a number of our nationwide. Operator associates cintas a harmonic way to maximize our efforts have some education and learning have Greg friends and learn how to be more profitable. Chris who who are the members of the Ibero USA? We have about one hundred sixty companies now that are either in our proper networking group. Or in a newer group for. A brand new or smaller companies investor companies companies that are in out of home that are not exactly in line with the companies that have been around forty or fifty years caller, IBO market club. And we're about fifty thousand faces is what the footprint represents maybe a thousand digital San with along with that comes in enormous amount of synergies. So this is a voice not for the public PM us. But it's the voice for the independent smaller out of home companies. Yes in smaller is how we started. And then one of our guys had five hundred boards and bought something at seven fifty. And then it was to fifteen hundred in somebody got over two thousand and we figured out size, while important doesn't necessarily change the character of the man or the woman that runs the companies we have found out too that some of the larger companies regional companies in a whatnot have been very successful. At what they're doing in the we've recognized that they bring some very important things to the table lessons to learn if. You will that if we're smart we will listen and having been a poor listener most of my life. I've learned that there one or two or three people that when they speak like e f Hutton in the old is I listen. Chris can you talk about some of the current initiatives? What's occupying you as the guy that's running the ideal? You would say. That changes on a daily basis. It seems we get what I call lovingly knocked Knox. When opportunity knocks at the door. You must be there to answer it most of us individually get a lot of inbound calls and things, but there's just no way that we can figure the wheat from the chaff and wet works, and what doesn't work. And so I the oh with our team of been blessed to have a good set of exacts in a great support by the group itself that we've been able to add several people to our administrative point here, and that's an abled may to answer more knock Knox. And so right off the shape. We've got growth we've got an interesting area or our health insurance initiative, and if you'd like for me to go into a little bit of detail at that. Please do. Yeah. All right. So whether or not you're a fan of our current government leadership or not a K, Donald Trump. The facts are that the economy is doing very much better than any time over the last decade with this new administration has come some changes to the health insurance arena. They opened. Up the insurance across state lines and more significantly extended huge benefit to big business, which they've appreciated our ability as an association to self insure new rules, go into effect the spring in effect. We are exploring this very complex environment as any new initiative Dave in such a regulated area. There are hurdles to leap past in. We think that we're going to be able to provide a solution to a problem that most of us independence of had brought along many. I've got to think that's a huge. You know, if you're a small very very small business getting insurance if you if you are two or three or four employees a lot of small out of home copies of that way. It's almost impossible to get cost effective insurance. So that's a that's a great initiative. Right. We expect to have some answers. We preliminary discussions with a reinsurer's are favorable in again, it's complex, but I should have some decisions in bay looking forward to talking with you in the near future about getting the word out will as eight materialized. Now, you may you mentioned how many members you have one hundred sixty. Yes, about one hundred sixty in seems like we're adding one or two week in some larger original type companies in some smaller companies come in. We were really agnostic. We don't mind what size. They are. We wanna help everybody out in the purpose of our group as it is networking group really wants to get together and have co op activities to the benefit of all let's talk about some of the caught activities. The way the way I see ideal USA differs, for instance, from a big trade group. Like, oh, AAA AAA is an advocacy in a lobbying body, but don't AAA charter is not to provide. Co-op type services to its members. That's just not something that focuses on where I've L USA is more of a cooperative model where it will provide services to its members talk about some of the things you're doing some of the products, which are of service to your members on. That's why a knock knock comes in. Somebody says gosh, we've got a one co billboard alerts which right Lil app developer that one of our budgets pointed out to me a year and a half or two ago met with them minutes. It's a simple thing where the you've got an empty billboard out in a rural location. That's one hundred miles from your office. You can't afford to send the sales out there shoot. We give them the latte lawn. The basic picture based within the system, and they are able to go out and crawl the names addresses from the business owners downhill from the or downstream from the location for a very affordable price of I think for our group of the public price would be a buck fifty a card, and I think ours is about a dollar ten card to terrific product. It's it it's a terrific product. And so then another one that's along a similar line is designed so important one of our operators devoid of rolling outdoor in cookeville. Tennessee has done terrifically well with digital in does very good designs. He's got a great a designer shine Hutton, and they have come up with a web platform or an app that is called tasty ad that enables people to go in for a very very affordable price to spec r and to come up with stuff. So when you can be on the road grab their laptop or tablet jump in grab a logo off the internet Teke snapshot with their phone Email that in walk in on the cast in at almost cold, call nature and have a set of one or two designs that really cost of a very forcible. I think they're public prices. A ninety nine dollars a month for the service IBO's got a seventy five dollars a month. And it's after about twenty designs, it's a dollar per design. That's done, and you know, many times just one speck art design will cost that in. We think that that's. A valuable service while so those are some of the kinds of things that we're focusing on those of them that we are get approached with. But I have to take an approach of agnostic, which ones can fit into our workload solution both of these solutions can fit into our daily proposal mechanisms that we call workflow with our apparatus machine over a period of time. Once we prove all the values of it. And those are just a few of them how about your cooperative marketing. I think that's a really interesting initiative where you're getting the all of the independent on home companies to an essence join a network, which allows them to in a unified way bid for some large national out of home advertising contracts. That's exactly right about ten years ago. Most of the friends that I haven't I be oh, no that my primary business was real estate broker and that I'm a bit of a database kind of person in was helpful in creating our database structure for our multiple listing service. Back in the mid nineties. They asked me, hey, Chris, why can't we put together a setup whereby we go out and collectively put our stuff together all are empty rural boards and try to compete against the big boys. And so it's been a decade long quest and four and a half years ago is when I hired apparatus media solutions to develop our core platform, and so whenever a company such as billboards utilizes the workflow solution when we sell aboard much less real estate person with Sela listing in hood, it would not be available on the list for people to go see the property on the next day. Same thing with our ill board a scenario is that when a local operator likely would sell it. It would go unavailable in the cloud in that whole mechanism that we've designed over this period of time has moved us rapidly into what is the I b o digital marketplace. Which is an essence setting up a very nice structure for be able to bring revenues to our. Are operated participate terrific. You are active in the actions. Sit on one of the committees for the media rating council, the MR C, which is one of the institutions that most people in out of home don't know anything about and they should can you talk about what am are ceased doing why an out of home company should care about it. Yes. That is a very very good point. Dave, I I didn't know about an after twenty years of being in the business in almost exclusively every industry veteran that I've talked to bar. None had never heard of the media writing cancel up until about six months ago. I learned about it of an interaction that I had with the CEO of without front. Randy szrious when he wrote a very article or your award insider back in January of twenty eighteen in looked at things that he wanted to bring up to that the industry needed to do in one of them was this kind of this area. So Andy introduced me to the media rating council in subsequent to that. We had the folks there come and speak at our last conference that resulted in the IB o becoming members of the media writing council of which nine asset on the board of directors among the digital out of home committee, and now the outta home standards committee most people. Realize that the meeting writing council has governed audience measurement in most other media since the sixties started with TV radio and governs, all the other things. The numbers that the Vokes us go through audits, invalidation and applicability towards standards that are derived as so currently our out of home standards committee is coming up with the auto home standard to be released. Sometime, we think in the second quarter of twenty nineteen and went doing such it will create a mechanism whereby the processes of how the audiences, you know, what age groups in etc. Come to see it. We think it is very important is really taking a stronghold in the digital out of home world now, which is primarily the networks and whatnot. But doesn't clued our digital billboards, and I can see a very significant reliance upon validated. Transparent accurate believable data that we? Received from the sources that provide them. So it's sort of third party verification of the methodology for computing impressions? Well, it's not the third party. It is the governing body. It's a it's a causa governmental council that that the United States government set up, and it it is in a spot where they really make up the rules for how that the standards are going to be created. And then they hire auditors to go into those that wish to be accredited to go through a rigorous accounting auditing process of how they come up with their audience measurements. So for example, in online digital some of the larger companies couple years ago stopped advertising with Google Facebook until they could prove that where ninety some odd percent of the traffic was being reported his audience was actually Bautzen faked in you know, a made up kinda numbers through maybe no fault of their own. But there wasn't any process subsequently. They are see has come in. On the digital out of home spice, and his is in the process of crediting, a number of different players that are in those fails. Why do they want to do that one asks because they need the advertisers to believe their numbers in take their money back than the demand for ties. I got you. What do you think out of home has to do in the next five years to thrive? We absolutely have to get behind the concept of office selling by audience right now, most of us that have been in billboards have sold on location. It's a great direction come into town. It's the best spot, its busiest, intersection, etc. But to take me for an example, if I could go to an advertiser inside that we have these five hundred locations across the country, and you Justin boots would be very well heeled to know that there are this many people that are fifty years old that might be have disposable income in really loved to wear cowboy boots. Hell Manny billboards could we sell on a platform. If we deliver that information back. So that is one of the things in the media rating council to give that comfort level is one of the reasons I'm so adamant and promoting that our industry group now geo path must get accredited and that any other entrance to the spice musket accredited. So that our advertisers believe us, and that we can be able to compete with the online that is fast moving in that direction while well, how about some other things it should happen. Couple of other things that I think that we need to have our data standardized. And by having people convert into the workflows helps us do that across all those platforms. Everybody has had RFK's that are in the operator business that come in for majors as we actually say waste millions and millions of key strokes. I couldn't agree. I couldn't agree more. Every single agency says here just fill out our spreadsheet just just fill out the twenty five different data points for every single sign. You want a bit and you don't have time as a small operator to respond differently to every single agency. It's just ridiculous. Right. And so that is one thing for the industry to do better in three to five year window is for some standardization of the key data points. This is me nodding vigorously, yes. And in. We recognize that the success ratio is less than out of twenty. And then you take a plant like look billboards in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Interlock if we have one agency by in a year, right? It just doesn't justify us to go into the models that are there now for audience measurement. And so we we must have audience measurement. And we must have an availability to reduce our what I lovingly call an equivalent to the United States government reduction of paperwork act agree. Okay. Chris I want to end the show with a under hype door over hyped. I'll give you a term you tell me if it's under hype the over and y geo geofencing, I think is probably over hyped for the regular world but under hyped as it relates to to out of home. We haven't used that. And that's one of the areas that are one of our initiatives is bringing mobile ads sales to our platform to fit into our workflow geofencing would work very nicely. I think with mobile phones that drive by our billboards time cars over hyped. Why? I think that there are a number of legal issues that would have to be overcome beforehand. I think that generally speaking it could work possibly well in more metro areas. But I'm gonna tell you what I like my duly diesel truck. I and I get in an hour. A recession in the us economy. Well, you know, nobody can really predict when that occurs, but you're familiar with a mortgage slash lemon business in the long interest rate cycle in currently we are at the bottom end of the forty year cycle that had been dropped. And we're probably two or three years into the upcycle the next four years that is going to be generally, speaking recessions, come along the way with that. Currently we're in the longest modern day recovery that than since we've been keeping records. So we could go into a recession at anytime. But it sure looks good at the start listen to the site. The economy's in in the some of the recent statistics jobs RAB, I'm hearing good things from Malla, my operators advertisers or failing good budgets are failing. Good. And so when does the recession count who knows it'll come, but what I do like about the billboard business is that we? Generally, speaking. When the bankers come knocking on the doors that want people to halons, you need to go out and advertise and get more business. And so it's a little bit countercyclical the be in the out of home business, if you're properly capitalized automated out of whom buying I think that that's probably over hyped in general because it's a sexy topic in the tech world as it relates to our out a home it's under hyped because of the complexity of where the splintering has led us in the data standardization. There's not been an easy way for them to connect to us up until relatively recently. Chris what do people what can people do if they would like to learn more about the Ibero USA? Oh that sample, Dave. They can go to our website IBO USA dot org and look around on that at some of the different things that we have involved with our group. There's a support contact support. Our phone number's five zero two two six twenty to thirty four or you can simply send an Email support at Ideo USA dot org. Simple process just have people call in. We'll have somebody called him back answer the questions tell him about the different levels in layers and different services and things that we have been more than happy to help anybody perfect. That's it for this week. Thanks for appearing on the podcast. Chris. Well, thanks for having me keep up the good job of over the last couple of three years. I know personally that I have learned learned a ton of things by your daily Email that comes out with a different topics in it. And I was thoroughly encourage any new person in we do in courage every new person to subscribe to the year service in similar stuff. Learn everything again about the business. Thanks so much and a check will be in the mail after we're done. Now, you can listen to episodes of the billboard insider podcast by visiting the billboard insider dot com website or by subscribing to the billboard inside a podcast on itunes, Stitcher or Google play. Our Email is billboard insider at gmaiLcom we'd love to hear from you. This podcast is brought to you by billboard loans dot com. Billboard loans, fast smart committed. Thanks for listening and see in a couple of weeks.

Chris Cowburn USA Dave Westberg Ardmore Oklahoma billboard IBO Ibero USA general manager executive Digital Hutton Google Bank Bank property manager baseball Pratt
Case 203: Jeffrey Maxwell & Martha Martinez

Sirens | A True Crime Podcast

39:29 min | 10 months ago

Case 203: Jeffrey Maxwell & Martha Martinez

"You're listening to sirens a true crime podcast hosted by good friends raven rollins and holly archer. This podcast contains explicit content so listener discretion is advised. Hey there killary knees raven here. I just wanted to let you know where to find us. On social media and our website as far past episodes. There may have been times when you've heard us talk about where to find us just know that those are no longer active for now and the future you can find us at our website which is www dot the sirens podcast dot blogs spot dot com. You can find us on facebook. Instagram and tumbler at the sirens. Podcast and on twitter at sirens underscore podcast. You can join our group on facebook which is where we share exclusive content including court documents. Crime scene photos transcripts interrogation videos and more join now. and let's talk murder My summary did this. I think i had a clue research. I don't remember it's been so long. I can't even remember the last time we did it. Like this but yeah surprise k. Can some go ahead and just pop right in it. So this one actually takes place in mostly whether for texas okay. This guy's name is jeffrey. Maxwell looks familiar okay. I don't know why the minute that i looked at him. I thought that he looked familiar to. I don't know if he like reminds me. He kinda reminds me of the is the sheriff from that jessica biel remake of texas. Jeez massacre yeah. I don't know why i i don't know. Maybe it's the sideburns. Because he's got those huge chunky wolverine type sideburns greasy gray hair. This dude is three hundred pounds. Six five this is a big dude. I'm just going to say real quick. The sheriff on that movie is like an absolute. He wrote to me in my eyes and i named by buggy after him like his my buddies name. The general is a guni. So good drill sergeant in full metal jacket. That's him gunny. Okay obamacare anyways anyways so no. That's not who that reminded me of. Because i i would have been like i want to. Well i didn't even look up to see if that's who it reminding me of. I'm just like that's just where your brain went in that movie new web gives you the hebrew gb. So yeah i get this guy immediately. Gives me the he'd be gbs he has been known to and i'll get into these things later but he has been known to do things like burn down his house for insurance money. Okay shooting his livestock and animals just because he was too lazy to feed them or didn't want to spend the money to feed them right. That's whatever it was every single time. He did something he seemed to get out of it somehow like he never had an actual rap sheet for any of this stuff. This is just like way later. Neighbors and police reports and stuff said like they would say about him like this is what he used to do stuff like this so he actually bragged to the police once that he started stealing women's underwear when he was a teenager. He's fifty nine or sixty at this time and so up until this point he says the over his lifetime he stole like forty fifty sixty pairs of underwear breaking into like neighbors houses or like when he's over at their houses talking to them or whatever and they go into different room he'll just sneak in their bedrooms and steal their underwear. Just a real creeper ragging about this. Yes he and he was bragging about it. You're not okay heat. Excuse himself to use the restroom during dinner and stuff like that and just go through people's dirty hamper and take underwear. Oh my god. What's your you invite to dinner. Every joost gun. You know what never mind. There is a bathroom bedroom. And you don't go use it from now on your lock your bedroom doors when you have company over so this guy had many jobs over the years. He worked as an airline mechanic He was also a feed salesman. Oh the f. ironic right. That's what i thought too. I was like dude. You're selling it to other people and you can't. I mean you're staring at it all day every day and you'd rather shoot your livestock feed him. That's so stupid. If you can't afford it you're already naturally assif so right. Yeah i mean we're not condoning. Thievery yeah no but like. I wouldn't be bad if you stole a bunch of food to feed animals. Good for whatever. I wouldn't wouldn't be mad about it at all. He was also a prison guard at one point more irony so the last few years during this big moment. I'll tell you about later. It was actually living off a social security disability benefits all right so when he was eighteen he had a girlfriend named rita whom he got pregnant and after a few years and literally only a few years. They got a divorce. Like nineteen eighty-one ish. So jeffrey maxwell met someone else through a mail matchmaking service. Her name was martha martinez and she lived with her parents mexico. I told you mail mail like snail. Mail matchmaking service olah. Yeah yeah so so yes. She was living with their parents and mexico and apart from a few trips to see her. Their relationship basically primarily consisted of just writing love letters back and forth. I mean it was a male but he finally apparently went down to mexico and propose to her and martha's family was not too happy about it like apparently they didn't like him he gave them just weird uneasy feeling. They couldn't pinpoint it something. That didn't rub them. The right way about this guy. Carol martinez who was married to martha's brother beer said we just didn't like him to be nice to gay people such a creepy feeling. They begged martha not to marry him. Martha was twenty nine at the time and she was like worried that this that was going to be like her last chance to become a wife or a mom. She's like super insecure and they kind of felt like jeffrey prayed off that like he could tell that she was super insecure. Yeah and just kind of jumped on it. When carol had married hollier. Martha had brought maxwell to the celebration to the wedding and carol remembers maxwell approaching her at the reception and she said he looked at me and he said i guess since we're family now i get to kiss you. And then he jammed his tongue down her throat. No i'm sorry. Red flag three three-strikes immediately. Yeah like it's been a few months and you're already striking out like come on man. I don't know what i would do something like that happened. Like i'm sorry Your husband yeah. He just french to me over in the bushes so and then we got a problem here. So were apparently a few minutes later. He did the exact same thing to another family member and she was the bride at the tongue. Has he not get himself killed acting like this. Oh no clue. That's just disgusting. So you know. He's already forcing himself. All over all kinds of women. Martha obviously had moved in with maxwell and she had began telling friends that weird things were happening at home that started turning into troublesome things happening at home and she would like show up with bruises on her wrists and bruises on her ankles and stuff like that and she tried to keep it from her family but by then martha and maxwell had actually had a son together and so she was afraid that she couldn't leave him. It kept getting worse and worse and in one thousand nine hundred eighty seven. She was actually found on the side of the road along. I thirty five about ten miles outside of art. More homa going where no idea no idea. I mean we're talking. We went from weatherford. Which is where she moved from mexico to weatherford and then somehow they end up near ardmore oklahoma when this happens when she was found. They weren't sure that she was even alive. They sent her to the hospital. She had been so verily beat she had been drugged she had been tied up. Apparently tortured for several days and her throat was slit and yet she survived like how she didn't bleed out on the side of the road. Ism frigging miracle kidding. She was in the hospital obviously for a while. She actually told detectives they came and talked to her to see like who did this tour to see if she could remember anything. She told them that. Her husband jeffrey maxwell had done this to her driven. Call him that anymore. You know what i mean. Well you know what's weird that you say that what's weird is that by this point. She actually didn't refer to him as my husband. Or even jeffrey she actually when she would talk to family she would say the bad man. Okay good literally. She would say the batman is home. I have to go or like stuff like that satan. Here gotta go. Yeah so the detectives asked her if they could search her home. She agreed and they found stash next to the air conditioner. Unit brown paper bag full of books about bondage yummy was called bound and whipped. Another was called caged schoolgirls no no new. Another one was called bondage for three wives. Oh god yeah below that. They found a another bag that had handcuffs senate cords and clothes pins. I guess he was just putting himself together. A little bondage kit. Yeah i mean. Close friends wouldn't be terribly uncomfortable. Pressure learn something new every day. I'm going to get into this with you on the air. But it's kind of you know. How when certain erogenous things are happening you start to go numb to it. Okay yes you don't just keep on doing the same thing in the same spot. It's kind of like why people bite people over or whatever. Well i can tell you. I do not enjoy that drive. You pinch me. You're gonna shit your teeth out mornings around whatever and it's probably all of that was probably him like Her shit for sure or him reading books. It's kind of like how men fantasize porn and stuff. It's like honey. It's not always like that. That's not what you don't get. Yeah like we're not calling reverse cowgirl on tuesday unless it's not yet fantasize so he's seeing he's probably reading these things i'm thinking. Oh women like this. I'd like this. I'm gonna do this. Would what does she likes. It or not wasn't consensual any well and she had told friends and family that she basically chest went along with the things that he wanted because she was she didn't want to be a quote unquote spinster and so she thought he was the only way that she was ever gonna find any sort of husband. I feel really bad for this woman how she thought of herself. Because girl you can do better. I'm just saying you can do better in mexico. I mean come on stay there. It just makes me feel bad because i mean she told him like well. If i didn't do this then i was afraid that he would either a leaf me or be beat me like it doesn't have to be one like leave. You know i would definitely pick the leave me. Please leave me. Yeah good go so. He was actually arrested for this and charged aggravated kidnapping rhythm arrest in that. I didn't see where they actually arrested him. I went to assume that they arrested him in weatherford because they went to the home and weatherford found all of this stuff. I don't know if they determined that the crime happened in weatherford or if it happened near ardmore or who. They wanted to like which place they wanted to prosecute this at. And maybe that was part of the whole austin translation thing. Also i feel like he should have been charged with maybe attempted murder. I mean he slit her throat. Yeah you don't necessarily. But i mean that's that's that's what you do to slaughter an animal. That's slow like you are two arteries no. He's he likes to play is and you'll learn this but like plate was someone's arteries if you think that's not gonna kill her. Okay all right. I could tell i'm already all right. I knew this was going to iran coming soon waiting waiting. So martha is finally discharged from the hospital. She takes her son and they flee to mexico to stay with her family. She told them some of the stories that she'd from what has been going on with maxwell him liking to bind her and the bruises on her wrists and her feet like he would chain her on her wrists and her feet and then like chain her to the bed or like. Lock her in a small room with these chains on for days and days and leave her there. I'm wondering like what did they do with the kid. In the meantime this poor kid witnessing all this. I mean had to of yeah. Like what age was he though. I mean they got married in nineteen eighty two issues and she was found near the side of the road. Nineteen eighty-seven so five or six years old. Probably this has been going on for a while. So that kid must have seen a lot of stuff. I know and like sometimes in all honesty if you think like i have so many friends who are parents. That are just absolutely convinced that they're like no. He remembers things. She remembers things like they do but they don't like they do right now because they're they've only been on this planet for six years. Have so much to go off of but like if you are want you to tell me right now like you tell me personally right now what you got for your fourth birthday not a fucking clue like you grow. It goes away. I can agree with you. Because i can only remember maybe two or three big events when i was little bit like for once. I got bit on the boob by a horse. And i remember the crap out of that. We yeah i think. That's why ones bigger than the other. Because you don't date enough men who like you gotta have ryan wants an lifting. They don't do the crossover. Just straight out in front of them so the left one's bigger right in front of them but my husband so wears on all things that are wholly that he can remember every single thing that ever happened to him since he wasn't born and i'm like you can't no you can't him. We'll never know what the shit see. You was traumatic. You remember it happening but you remember what it is. You get my point. Yes yeah yeah. Yeah couldn't tell you which one it was for sure credit. Go i hope for that kid sake that you are one hundred percent correct and all of that just fell out of that child's mind i know and some someone somewhere is going to be like no traumas completely different that hold it in a certain box and that'll be all they remember from that time like i get it. I'm just saying but we hope not. Yeah we don't want find myself reminding year. Let me fuck in heaven. You're gonna hate this part okay. For whatever reason the authorities couldn't keep contact with her in mexico and they couldn't come up with enough evidence to actually convict this guy so he didn't even go to court dropped it. They dropped it all. Oh fuck sake shaimaa. And after all of this he starts writing letters to her again. Can't thug jeffrey. Yes you sweet talking her. And he's telling her how sorry he is that he ever hurt her and that he can't live without her and that he wants her back and he is apologizing all this stuff and her family is like listen to me. Give me that litter. Let me burn it. Please stay away from him and she did not listen. Oh my god. She went back to him. Fucking place. stupid games win super presence. She moved back in with her son back into the same home with him. So we have full blown stockholm syndrome. And i truly believe that. That's what it is really believe. I mean you keep someone literally bound and torture them and make them believe that you are the only source of anything on the planet. That's what that is that stockholm syndrome. Her family was absolutely livid when she announced that she was moving back. I think at one point they lived in fort worth as well. And i don't know at what point but i know at one point. They did at first thing seemed to be better. She actually went back to college. She got an associate's degree. She seemed happy. The son seemed happy. She maxwell had previous can from his first marriage and they were he was living with them as well and they all got along. Martha got along with the kid. And apparently jeffrey gone along with. I mean they were doing great then. Martha brought jeffrey maxwell to a family. Reunion god you remember when he likes to do at family gatherings who's painting city still so people were apparently forcing themselves to make small talk. They weren't completely loving it Apparently he tried to force himself on some of the women there that night and just got completely out of hand and day. Kind of told markelle like listen. We can't deal with him so it wasn't too long after that. It was actually mother's day so that was early. Nineteen ninety two and then mother's day no one heard from her people couldn't get a hold of her and her car was still at home. Her passports were untouched. Her credit cards were left behind. And jeffery maxwell told the police that had been left on her own how. I don't know he told the police he didn't know her car. You're still here. I guess she just walks. I dunno and she went missing like forever. They never found her. What the fuck. She's literally still to this day missing. Oh no wouldn't it be so cool. She went back to mexico and she's living her best life. That would be amazing in like you know. Oh we don't know no one knows that's like the only way that they could make sure that he didn't go looking for. I really hope that's what happened to but that's like that's that's what happens with the fuck narcissism people who are manipulative. Whatever like they will cause problems between you and your family between you and your friends and they'll make it to where your friends and your family are like. Okay if you're going to keep choosing this person than we're fucking done with you and so then it's like okay. We'll have you all to myself. No one's ever gonna know no one's gonna know if i'm being you gonna know you know you have no out. You have no one to talk to so tooth row to the even weirder part of it was that he didn't report her missing. Oh here we go. Her family actually were the ones that started looking into it and like told the police. Hey we haven't heard from her weeks and weeks and her family after they had got the police looking into it and maxwell had told the police she left on her own and they were actually looking into it. Her family actually receives some like handwritten letters and this is like way after she had initially gone missing. You would think that if she were going to leave a letter or send a letter to her family telling them where she was going. What she was doing that would have been the first thing they would have received that pretty early on and in litter up and this is the weird part two in the letters were in english and she obviously when she was at home. She's from mexico when she's at home. She speaks spanish. Why would you talk to your family in english exactly exactly. She had written her family in english. Normally she would if she were to write them letters or talk to them or whatever it was it would be in spanish. The outsides of both the envelopes have been addressed in a different hand than what the letters were written. And so i mean it was just very weird. Apparently her brother flew to texas to talk to the police in person and they filed a police report all this stuff and the family like hundred percent. The whole time thought that he had something to do with it immediately. They were like you need to be looking at him. He tried to kill her previously. So why are we not looking at him. But the investigation went cold god yet. They had no evidence. They had no trace of her and so they brought it to a grand jury but they didn't bring charges because there was just no evidence so he got away with it and the thing about it too is that we know previously. He thought he had killed her. And he don't turn near ardmore. Oklahoma which is moslem has mazda miles and miles and miles away from weatherford texas. So there's no telling where he could have dumped her body. There's no telling why. How did she get there. How many. I just don't there has to be something somewhere because someone someone is going someone in a uniform going to be like okay. You're weatherford will. You're from mexico first of all you're living in weatherford with your husband who you say did this you. And we're finding you in ardmore. So connect the dots for me. Because i don't get it doesn't make sense doing here to get here. What business does he have here. Why would you just randomly driving to oklahoma. You know well apparently in i. This is something that she had mentioned when she survived the first attack. Apparently he liked to just drive around in his vehicle with her tied up in the back and he would just like stop. Beat shit out of her and then they'd go again. Jesus crossing corruption. What is rawlins's person And so i mean if he's known to drive literally hundreds of miles and he did so at one point. We know for a fact. I mean it's like it's not that weird. It's not that out of the ordinary. The only thing ordinary this time that she was nearly dead. Throw everything completely normal. Good no this guy not at all so that was nine hundred ninety two in nineteen ninety five he petitions the court for divorce citing martha's disappearance in the fact that she's probably dead. Okay why why. That's three years. He was like is three years long enough for me to wait to ask for a divorce from someone that i know for. A fact is dead killed her. Why though whether you want a divorce do you have another victim in your site. He wanted to remarry rita his first wife. Oh jesus tips. Yeah who had by then had three daughters from an an a different marriage and of course the sun that they had together apparently they granted this divorce and he actually did mary rita again and two days before his second wedding. Tarita there police reports that were filed by her best friend saying that maxwell had raped her a woman who is renting part of a duplex from maxwell said that he had come over one night to fix a broken sink and forced himself on her when he was done. He apparently puts clothes on told her not to tell anyone and then left her crying on the veteran okay. I won't tell anyone since you told me tony. One right. yeah you're right. I was going to until you said that right. So there to filed rape reports on him right as he marries regan and not long after he moved on with rita of remember. She now has three young girls from a different marriage. God leave the kids alone. The middle daughter complained to school officials that her stepfather was touching her inappropriately. The girls said that it happened most often when she was in the game room playing nintendo that he would lie next to her and put his tongue down her throat that the only thing that she could do to try to block him was to her teeth like gritter teeth shut so he couldn't stick his tongue through. I met saying oh. Yeah no shit right. After those complaints maxwell moved to move the family to a different school completely. Like this is active understand. There are two police reports before. I go any further in this breaking story there to police sports currently on him one daughter is telling school officials that he is molesting her yet. Nothing is done to him. Nothing how are they not bringing him in and questioning him and calling. Dhs and all of these things that i know for a fact existed in nineteen ninety five and instead he just packs the family up a move some to a different school. And of course what happens. There's new allegations at the new school. The younger starter goes to the school officials at the new school and says that. He's touching her appropriately. She described waking up in the middle of a thunderstorm and wanting her mother when she got to the bedroom he was the only one there and she said he groped her all over until they saw her mom's headlights pull up in the driveway and he told her to go back to bed. This is a part that really pisses me off because child protective services came in this time. And guess what they did. I don't i. They told rita that she should take the girls and leave the house. Okay that's it that's it. They didn't finally the charges against him. They i mean they didn't do anything to ham. Is it just because it was a. He said she said things like what. How many fucking people need to come forward and tell this same narrative until they believe him. You know what i mean. Apparently a hundred so. I'm wondering if i if i file a report on you like i'm filing report. I'm saying this happen like that. Needs to go in your ama- bad person folder. Some fucking wear. You know 'cause that's a trail like l. trail of evidence of some sort leading to you and this behavior the fact that it's repetitive. You do. This is how can operate this. How would you would think. I don't get that. I don't know what the hell's going on in texas and nineteen ninety five. She's so apparently she does. She takes the girls and she leaves. She leaves him like was he not already like this before like they. They were married the divorce in she got back with him. Went was he just not like that with her. You know. I don't get no idea. No idea because i mean he was eighteen when he married her the first time so maybe these compulsions that he had were around them maybe he hatton wasn't experimenting with them. I don't know so confusing. She leaves him okay. And and now i'm going to tell you about something that happened in two thousand which was five years later just because i think it might or might not have something to do with jeffrey maxwell this thing is not proven to be connected to him and anyway but a lot of people seem to think it is but in the year two thousand there are a woman. Her name is amelia smith. She is five three. she's a hundred and eleven pounds. she's fifty one years old. She works for attacks company in irving texas. She drives a taxi. Tax service was like. I'm sorry she she. She works at a taxi company in irving texas. She was a taxi driver. Tax service was wrong with me. She goes and picks up people and makes them make some new checks here and talk to the irs telling okay so his. She's on shift herships in ends at ten pm. On february third two thousand. She drove home to hurt her trailer. Home in weatherford texas. She was alone her husband. I believe she was a wife and mother at. I'm not sure how many children but her husband was actually visiting his mother at the time so he was out of town. The children were with him so it was literally just her own. That's kind of weird. Do people do that. I mean i guess. I can see how like if my husband had to work and i wanted to visit my parents. I would probably take the kids and go and leave him but then again. I highly doubt that he would me do that. Just stays exactly. That's weird anyways. Some people some people like that. Yeah i don't know especially in a world where one is. This is two thousand so home security systems. Were just starting to be a thing. They're pretty expensive and like non a lot of people had you've got a floodlight probably like emotion. Yeah a lot of people had the those. Yeah but i mean constantly actual home security systems. Yeah that was kind of a new thing to get but so she gets home. Run around ten thirty at night and by four. Am the neighbors are calling the police because her trailer home is completely engulfed in flames. God by the time that police arrived it was like absolutely engulfed almost to the ground and they immediately suspected that it was arson. I guess just because of how fast how quickly it was burning. They discovered that someone also attempted to set a fire to the interior of her car so someone had put accelerate inside of the car and tried to set that on fire as well. Apparently that didn't work out. It didn't stay ignited. Somehow they couldn't find any evidence that she was inside the house. They brought cadaver dogs. They couldn't find her in there anywhere. She was literally never heard from again. They know for a fact that she wasn't in the house. When it was set on fire she was found nowhere on the property. She's just up and vanished. Like what i. Why don't know don't know her husband's stated that she was deeply religious person. She was responsible. I mean she wouldn't just abandon her kids but torch everything and and torch everything and just leave. Leave her car just up and gone. Yeah just never heard from again. There's people now. how odd is it. I'm just saying how is it that five years prior this woman goes missing vanished without a trace and then five years later in the same town another woman around the same age same height same build goes missing never to be heard from again and he has set fired to house to insurance money like he has a history of arson already. He has a history. So how are we not connected to a lot of people speculate but no one i mean. They couldn't they've never found any evidence they've never even have found the bodies so their bodies are still out there somewhere. Here's where shit gets real as if it weren't already jump ahead and there is a wonderful woman named lois marie pearson. Two thousand. One is the first time she meets jeffrey. Maxwell off for the love of god you've reached the end of our episode. We hate that things like this happen. Not only around the world but in our own backyards. It's because of this that we share these true crime stories with you. A real people with family and friends that lived and loved. Not unlike you so that you may stay ever vigilant. We hope that you will join us next time as we delve into this case. Further in part to on sirens do we have an alto. that's our outdraws matt.

maxwell jeffrey maxwell mexico martha jeffrey weatherford Martha ardmore raven rollins holly archer texas three hundred pounds martha martinez olah Carol martinez hollier carol rita facebook jessica biel
061919 Ace & TJ in 30

Ace and TJ

18:22 min | 2 years ago

061919 Ace & TJ in 30

"It it's already time to get fall and holiday travel plans together, our travel agent, Michelle charges no fees, and will bring her thirty years of tricks of the trade to get you the best deals possible. There are now also payment options with no additional fees. Unlike the cruise lines and land packages just Email, Michelle at travel at as TJ dot com. That's travel at ace, TJ dot com. Hey, it's T J. And I wanna tell you about my recent stay at the Ballantyne. You know the second you walk in. You know, you're in a fancy hotel is not only beautiful, but the staff goes out of their way to make sure you have the most luxurious experience of your life to go to the Ballantyne dot com and see all the great things you can enjoy everything from their spa to golf. They're beautiful pool. Fine restaurant and everything else, a true luxury hotel provides. So book your stay now at the Ballantyne dot com. I really think you're gonna love it. Market of Charlotte, North Carolina. This is the ACT and thirty podcasts. Here's your host. Oh, that's why they were staring. When did you figure that out? That's coming up on today's and TJ and thirty along with the worst date in five words. But of course, we have to start off with the most unique story of them all today that as an attack, squirrel. In theory. Yes, there's a thirty five year old guy. Being named Mickey. He lives in Ardmore, Alabama. It is with the thirty seven year old guy named Ronnie. Oh, ronnie. Miki and Ronnie. You know where we're making, you know, in boy, Monday morning. The cops got a warrant to search their apartment for drugs. And they definitely found what they were looking for the guys, according to the reports had the methamphetamine, drug paraphernalia, ammunition and body armor. Well, you know what? That's a bad combo when it comes to officers. Well, I mean. The math and the drug paraphernalia take that out. And I don't have a problem heaven, amunition and body armor. But when they catch you with drugs. Yeah. And body armor, naming Asian, rod good, look. But the strangest thing that they found was Mickey's attack, squirrel. Oh, you had a pet squirrel according to the reports. And apparently he regularly gave the squirrel math. Oh man to keep it aggressive. It's illegal to have a pet squirrel, although it's probably the least severe charge that they're going to be dealing with. But. Far, the squirrel, you know, the Alabama game and fish division told the deputies to release it into the wild where yes it go through withdrawals and. Terrible. Little buck teeth are gonna fall out all. I'll be scratching you know that whole conversation started as a. My by my guess world. Bam, I guess world attacks were. Oh, you came under that Ronnie may gamma Vadim on. Oh man. It would make L make you. I'm sorry. Yeah. Does squadrons roam the property or does he like, let it loose on the people that I've met the squirrel stays in their mobile home. Probably guessing a cage. Maybe he just lifts the gate up. Yeah. They come in to have their looks like the math deals going bad. He just opened the Cajun's grows goes haywire. That would scare the life. Yeah. I'd be running a squirrel hopped up on meth flat around Sweden, his little evil. Talons Claus Claus, thanks. I couldn't vote. That's talent. They're already evil. No need to give them this God squirrels are evil. You think yes. They're terrifying. Yes, they are not scary. They're delicious. They are. I believe you. I mean just like everything else you cook them. Right. But. Even if you didn't believe him SAS, I believe that you would say you did just he'd stop talking. Never duplicate it. This is the TJ in thirty podcast. What was the what was the moment that moment where you said? Oh, that's why they were staring at me. Why were they staring at you? When you realize that I'm a fifty year old mom Denise says, here in a DM. In my twenty one year old son drew a. I'm gonna say male, full male anatomies. On the back window of my car in the dust. I worked for the state of South Carolina. My car was in the state parking lot for three days before I noticed it. Then I knew why people have been. Steered. Thanks. Days. Somebody we were at the beach last week had drawn in the sand. I mean it was huge. You know that that image. And we were walking past it in my wife. Look, they said, look at that mustn't say, I'm sorry. I'm that's where I failed out in the same. Write that down. Sorry, mom. I just fill. Great. I love this lady that said the day that she and her husband quit doing it wasn't her. It was her husband, but it affected her because from this point forward, he said, they would no longer do their laundry together because he was in a gas station, and people were staring and laughing, and he obviously didn't know why look down and a pair of her thongs were wrapped around the button. If his cargo shorts or. Hang. The side of his cargo Georgia's his workout. That's a look. Whitney and went to a kiss concert with my face painted black star around my eyes in solid white, that would be Paul Stanley, right? Yes. The, the star child ace getting the kiss expert. Everyone was looking in laughing went to the mirror, and it was all smeared couldn't even tell it was a star so embarrassed. I was like fourteen fifteen ish and so many hot guys, they're at that age. Fourteen and fifteen year old girl painted up like one of the kiss band members. Freshman. I mean, that's a, that's a niche, right there. So what kind of girl you looking for? Well, you I don't like the star child messiah, girls are hot, Paul Stanley. Nothing. Nothing looking like a sixty year old rocker turn on a fifteen year old boy. This lady Beth said, I have my one year old on my hip, it kept giving your cheese doodles. I thought she was enjoying them. Turns out the reason everybody was staring was as soon as she would get them, nice and wet. She would take them out of her mouth and stick them to my long hair, and I had. Nobody ever had with governor. She's two. I didn't know until I got in my car that my hair was decorated. Oh man. That is great. Devious. When we return to the TJ in thirty podcast we have fun snipers, and your worst date, and five words, that's all next on the TJ and thirty podcasts. Cast. This is the ace and TJ in thirty podcast thrive. Now. TV on demand on ace and TJ dot com, TJ app or through I heart radio by now you've had to have heard us talking about this product that I've been using called Calatrava and the reason why because pretty much everybody listens to us. You know, like everybody in the world. We've been talking about it for a while. Here's what it is. It's not a weight loss miracle type drug thing that you're going to take, it's actually not a drug. It's not a stimulant, and we'll mess with any of your medications that you're already on its collagen, which we're all born with, but we lose it as we get older and Calichman helps replace that it also works in other ways helping you with your sleep and acid reflux and joint pain, and it's just it's just very, very gray. And today tomorrow they've got a great special ten dollars off each bottle. That's thirty dollars off the ninety day supply, plus a free bottle and fellow so use the promo code ace TJ for free shipping. So by three get one free and free shipping, top loss dot com. T O, P, L, O S, S dot com. Use the promo code ace TJ for free shipping, top loss dot com. Hey, look, we hope you aren't. But we know you may be going through a tough time with a divorce. The good news is we know someone who can help our friend, Kristen at better. Divo-. Believes there's a win win settlement option for every divorce and can save you. Thousands of dollars in the process just Email, better divorce at ace, TJ dot com. That's better divorce. At ace, TJ dot com and let our friend, Kristen help you. The gated foot never duplicate it. Does not believe people enjoy doing? It's a great question from the internet, and it, it just makes perfect sense, for this show because we've got a couple of people that without naming names are highly critical of other people's the things that other people enjoy. Well, I know you're not hugging about me because I am Mr. go with the flow. I am history easy. Come easy. Go more. The mayor. All those things as a matter of fact, I could have that put on my business cards, TJ, the more the married. Yeah. So what can you just now believe people enjoy doing? Yes. I mean you guys are wild like the girls said popcorn. Mariah said, popcorn something, everybody loves, but I hate I don't know if I've never been anywhere that hates popcorn, but is it fun? Yes. Who would you consider popcorn phone? Oh, yeah. I think so is you're always having popcorn of fun times throw. Popcorn we watched the movie popcorn at the ballgame a little popcorn in the backyard. What about disc golf? I get that. Yeah. Just not what the type of people who play it. Yeah. Exactly. I'm just kidding. No. You're not. What I mean is if somebody's gonna take it? So seriously in make a big, you know, like you're, you know, calling right now not one. But if it's just like from my friends going to play I do that, right. Every game day people like that. That's why I don't do it either. Okay. You're watching, Dr pimple Popper. Oh, Chelsea said TJ and Reagan's love that. Some, I think part of that. Let's see several people said the beach on fourth of July, like specifically that day, doesn't seem fun to them, because it seems crowded. Okay. It depends on where you stay. Here's one TJ can can join in with John on going to a bar for live music. You sit there in silence. While you're, here's get blasted by mediocre band drinking beer out of smelly mugs. Yeah. I've always said, if, if you don't want me to come to your place, then put on the sign live music tonight. Yeah. I mean even if it is a good band. I am going to a bar to, you know, be able to talk with my friends and, and stuff. Christie says she would be a fun sniper for watching endless videos on YouTube. Oh man Brucie next to the vaccination for polio. Youtube is the greatest thing ever invented. Yes. Holland, having themed watch parties for TV shows. I mean I get being fan but I'm not dressing up for a TV show viewing. See that's me anything that requires a costume. Your worst date in five words. Here's the explanation for short arm. Only three fingers. I can't wait. She said it was a blind date. He showed up in a cab and was trashed five foot nothing with one very short arm. The only had three fingers and he kept saying here, feel how strongest fingers. Oh. Here. I'm going to start using that anyway. Strong this, hey, hey, hey, hey strongest angry. Now this one. Real. She said he he. Would say other things that alluded left it out, I left that part out, but it looted to his, his skill set. With his strength and Emma. She said it wasn't just the but he was just super creepy. My friends were the same bar. They joined us after a while when he went to the bathroom of snuck out, and they made up a story for why had to leave us spent the rest of the night hiding them friends car with the seat. Laidback. I'm sorry, another another favorite. Worst day to five words shouted to bar. We're engaged. Oh, he jumped on the stage grabbed the microphone from the band and just screamed while pointing at her. We're engaged bar erupts. But was he just trying to be funny? She goes, we were maybe two drinks in. I was fairly new in the military has mandate seemed harmless after about an hour. He kept saying he could see himself falling in love with me awkward when I kind of thought he was kidding it. I got. No. He's on a microphone yelling at a bar that we're engaging. Trying to be funny. Was he? Yeah. Hey Allie, welcome to the ace and TJ show your worst date and five words. Talion guy and rabbits, naked Italian guy and rabbits. It was he the naked Italian guy or what? And I was the one with a rabbit, so he was a DJ at my friend's wedding. So we talked a little bit, and decided on it, and I had told him, you know, what time to pick me up if it was supposed to give me enough time to get home and get settled after work, well, he was already waiting in the parking lot. When I pulled in. So it was already starting off that and he had all of this work clothes on it worked at, like a, a large outdoor. You know, landscaping place. So clearly wasn't ready for the day and started down on. Well, maybe I kick it ready here before we go, and I just sort of looked at my you're crazy. But it had been a bad day. And I just was trying to roll with it. So I let him in and at the time I had this little rabbit, call the lions name mad at cute little thing, but they're very smart, and they can get out and hide behind things. So we came in and I saw that he had gotten out his name is. And he thought behind the washing machine and I was trying to get him out. And at the same time, my friend had called and she had like a pet emergency. And she was, you know, bowling and if you know if you didn't know. All right. Can I guess the end of this? And while you're dealing with the rabbit, and you're on the phone. You look up and rather than change clothes. He's standing there. Naked dripping wet. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on the phone trying to get the cat out with. I mean, the rabbit out from behind the dry with a room and he's asking me to dry his back. A good move. Would you mind? During my back from her yet back. But the raft with. Exactly. One more real quick. Five worst date in five words, washing shorts in restaurant toilet. That's disgusting. You don't even need to get. Gross. Kathy's at noon everyday. Subscribe now to ACT TJ on demand now on I tunes. Is it baba Johns who decided to put their barbecued, meats and pizza together? I told you the genius who made Babacan meets pizza by chicken and bacon pizza, just twelve bucks. Each for lodge. Okay. Settle down phone in love for yourself with our barbecue. Thighs just twelve bucks. Each four live better ingredients bit, a pizza Papa John's appar- -ticipant in US, doors, Texas, and delivery fee, extra wanna save up to seventy five percent on domestic or international airline tickets. Then call low cost airlines for prices. So low, we can't publish them. Call eight hundred two eight seven forty seven sixteen eight hundred two eight seven forty seven sixteen.

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December 27: His lucky number

As It Happens from CBC Radio

45:12 min | 1 year ago

December 27: His lucky number

"This is a CBC podcast. Hello I'm Helen. Man Sitting in for Carol off. Hello I'm Karen Gordon. This is as it happens. The podcast cast addition tonight. His lucky number businessman watches as Kazak plane tears. Apart at the fourteenth row of seats. He tells us he's only alive because he was seated in row. Fifteen vote time an Indian sailor struggles to contain the joy of returning to his family. After spending three years stuck aboard a ship in the Persian. GAW Aw search for a killer someone is gunning down members of heard of forces that have been roaming in eastern Kentucky. Our guest is trying to save the survivors before it's too late inimitable. Kelly Fraser broke through with an took cover of an international pocket. Tonight we pay tribute to a true original and the new life she brought to the language she loved careful or he'll wipe the floor with you. We revisit our conversation with hard war. The human survey yet Tartan topped topped interviewer hers. No holds barred approach to celebrity. Research has earned him a spot on. BC's walk of fame and Shari. Chari night we bring you the latest from Sweden where every year they built a giant goat out of Straw and then wait until new years eve for someone to burn it down as it happens the the Friday edition radio that hopes this ends on a lighter. Note it it seemed like any other flight eight but shortly after takeoff things began to go. Wrong on this morning's Beck Air flight out of Al Ahmadi Kazakhstan. The plane which was carrying almost one hundred people will hit a concrete barrier before crashing into a two story building at least twelve people were killed and dozens more injured businessmen as len. Necessarily leow is one of the survivors. We reached him near Amati Kazakhstan. Mr Nazar Leeann. How're you doing right? Now I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. I am or cake. Thanks Scott Alive and the I didn't get her earthly fight. I'm glad to hear it. Can you tell us when you first realized something was wrong on that plane. Yes just after it took off from the ground suddenly left side wing it slingshots There was something very strange Swinging up affects the right side of the wing lost the balanced. It's it's tough like a swinging like a bullet in a wild river just moments later. The sprain training shaking and vibrating. The whole part of the plate. What was the reaction from you and the other passengers and I mean I? I was sure that something wrong happened. And I was like a shoot at crew pilots. Lost Control of the plate. Wait so I tightened up my seat belt and That's still playing was trying to go higher i. It's a front end up ports still trying to go higher. And what were you thinking of. In that moment as these things were happening around and you yeah I thought about only one thing watch with my two daughters through without their father. Though I was like shooting I will be dead soon so the first thing all moving in my mind was my thirst so I have two seven year old and I was thinking about the future. Sure how would they leave without their father so I was. Somehow I was not afraid for myself and I wasn't. That scared myself I. I was scared for my children. Right described the moment of impact the crash itself. What was that like so I was sitting in end of the raw seat number a seat? Fifteen seat so I was observing front. End The plane. How would it react there when the grout then then the when they hit the ground from the front side there Suing started coming down smashing everyone the ceiling from the front then at the same time it was like a falling apart like in the movie I is. It was started falling apart August particles at the same time the floor suing coming down and the the last person whom the ceiling This this was the number fourteen the wrong number fourteen. I will sitting in their own number fifteen. There was one before me so that that guy he got smashed with the ceiling and from there it stopped the plane then afterwards of course right now we know that it was a concrete building in front of the player in the two story concrete building onto which the plane smash them in when in to the building first floor of the building so I think it was like it hit the ground because sliding over the ground they take this two story. Concrete building that it stopped stopped playing. It sounds absolutely terrifying. What happened after that? What did you and the other passengers do that happened? After that immediately the old lights went off and the from the right side of me there was one guy I think. He opened the emergency exit on the receiving so we weekly started coming from the plane. Slowly come out came out from the plane. We I just stepped uh on the wing but we employs very slippery. I think it was like icy so immediately fell on my knees are on on the wing and then slide over to the backside and everyone who are coming out and they were failing down. Same Way I think falling from the under the wing Benway's immediately helped each other to cross the wing and We start going to forward off the plane and it was dark all of his time right well of course it was dark all the time and because it was seven twenty. AM At the start of the all the time and the men who survived these these are shouting. And let's help that. Those guys were asking for help in someone was screaming mentors like a messy over there so so some people started. Lightning was their cellphone sized halting full lighter trying to help with the light and we found several guys started pulling out helping people people who are at smashed under this old neighbor of concrete the ceiling. Playing itself you're worried while you were helping all these people that that the plane Mike burst into flames. Yeah that's was the my personal skin and also with a charlatan about that that the the go into fire because the plane rain is full of fuel. Yeah but somehow out said they're will to help those people who were injured really badly. I think maybe were stronger than the risk of dangerous fire. I guess so that was ideas so it was all about twenty something minutes because it was too long to four zero to come. Everyone wants south things asking someone to call the emergency from was crying. I lots of noise there. Yeah and how long until the emergency people arrived twenty twenty five got the. Yeah now we are told that at least a dozen people have died As you said these people were just in front of you many of them can you. Can you share your feelings tonight on how you feel having escaped gapes that actually. I didn't even think about that. How it's navy tomorrow? That will the today. I mean they didn't realize if you bought the of course it's very very bad. You said earlier that that you fly pretty much every week. Do you think you will hesitate before you get on a plane again. No I don't think so because I believe for all the time that there are more car. Crashes Than Plane Crashes Fellow I think there's no use the same being. I mean my personal feeling. Is that bought next time. I'll be more wise in choosing the airline company and they're analyzing the played inside gifts you You had spoken of your daughters. Have you seen your girls that you thought so much of in those moments or force of of course. I actually went through the airport immediately. I should go home and I just immediately my kids my wife and kiss them then. I told him that there awesome accident. That's why I'm back home again. Mr Nezar Leah. I'm very happy you're back safely with your family and thank you terrible that there was this loss of life. I appreciate issue telling us about it. Thank you very much. bye-bye Azlan Nezar. Lereah was a passenger on a Beck Air flight. The crash today near al-Mahdi Kazakhstan. We reached him in Almaty. Authorities are still investigating the cause of the crash which killed at least a dozen people A killer is on the loose in Kentucky but their target isn't people. It's it's horses police. Volunteers found twenty body so far the victims were from a herd of free roaming horses spread over a mining area in the eastern part of the state now. The only animal rescue group in the region is racing to get the surviving horses before the killer could strike again. Tony Kahn is the president of Dumas's rescue. We reached her in Preston. Burke Kentucky Ms called are you any closer to figuring out who's been killing these horses we've actually gotten some tips that that Our our sheriff's department and the detective handling this case our basic ed again one step closer hopefully with each tip. How are the horses being killed? There are being shot. And what kind of weapon. What kind of caliber of weapons being used All we know at this time is the low calibre a small caliber rifle of some sort. And do you know the circumstances under which this is happening. The time of day whether it's one at a time altogether altogether we were notified of dead horses on December the sixteenth and we went up to investigate on that day but when we arrive the horses have probably been dead looking at the right of decomposition for a horse probably a couple of days at least twenty four forty eight hours so approximately during during the same time period that they give. Can you tell us about this. Heard does anyone own them There was a lady that live beneath the mind at the bottom of the hill that claimed ownership of five of the horses but as far as the others. They are abandoned free roaming horses. That is typical here on the abandoned mine sites and Eastern Kentucky and last fall in October there was a herd of about thirty five and we remove seven of those is that it came off into an array into a residential area And in traffic. And they're reading the the paint the cars for the mineral and actually licking the salt off the roadways Because they're you know they're depleted any minerals back there and we. There was a herd of about thirty five. Then and we've counted twenty dead and six alive so that it can you tell us about it. Sounds like they're fairly integrated into the local community. Can you tell us about the relationship that people have with the horses is is. Is it a positive one overall. Well that's that's a fifty fifty thing Some people a lot of the local tourist and things that right side besides the nineteen back there like to go back back there and feed them and and give them a trade or see them because they will approach you for food. I mean as far as halting then putting a rope on them and leading in them off or riding them. That's that's not gonNA happen but if they will they are conditioned to approach you for food and you know a lot of people like going back there and looking and so you know but then you have you also have landowners and people that have cattle that graze back there and the horses removed. You know horses will pull grass up by the roots and there's AH leaves nothing to regrow handle doesn't do that so you know there is there. Is that issue. Though people that grace a handle on the abandoned mine sites versus these free roaming horses take all the forage and as and as far as also there's there's an issue with people that hunt theatre in L. and Turkey quail rabbit or what ever on the abandoned mine sites you've got hunters that that have no selection so to speak back there to hunt from because the horses have removed all the forage and things but you know that hunters hunt deer and elk in Turkey. You know there's no force back there so those. Those animals migrate somewhere else. So that that removes the Hunting abilities on this side so so clearly. The horses have enemies. I suppose. How many of the of the thirty thirty five horses as twenty that have been killed? How many of the ones that remain? Have you located We are in the process of removing locating the remaining six that were discovered go and the reason that we there's a delay in us. Removing them is the terrain to safely take a trailer back there. A horse trailer with panels and collect the horses and removing them safely because the terrain is so mountainous and sold muddy in so slick that is not been an option to be safely. These remaining horses. Can you describe their behavior do they. Do they seem somehow how traumatized by this era. They will If say essay approach you any slight sound or any kind of movement triggers. There's an immediate response and there's a twenty thousand dollar reward for information leading to the person responsible that is correct. It's hard an animal lover to even hear that this is happening from faraway. What is it been like for you as someone who is connected to the community and the animals in the area for us and the whole damn crew and volunteers to help his horrific? It's it's traumatic. That's the only anything I can say is. It's traumatic I. I can't close my eyes at night without seeing them and kind of picking up on the fear you can look in their eyes though of of the bodies of awesome that are dead and you pick up on the fear that they felt as they died because a lot of them Probably were shot in the lung and they and they liden. They didn't blade out unable to breathe. They probably you know they didn't die immediately. Especially the babies that were laying next to their mothers. When we discovered the bodies of the light that the six last Sunday I and there was a mayor and fold that relating together and the mother had her head outstretched and maybe I'm just being sentimental the national but it appeared to me? She was trying to look at her foe and the fall was was in a position trying to look at her to when I died. I'm so sorry it's really awful. I really appreciate you taking time to tell us about it and I hope that the police get to the bottom of this. How do you too and I and I just hope? I hope that these horses didn't die in vain that this will spark some change with our legislation and our ability to have better animal laws than animal. Control Laws here in Kentucky. I hope that you you sparks a change and that we will be able to advocate more for more change good luck with the rehabilitation of the remaining horses. Thank you thank you MS con. Bye Bye Tony. Kahn is president of the Animal. Welfare group do Miss Rescue. We reached her impressed and Berg. Kentucky Every year as it happens. Brings you an update on a giant Straw goat. The goat is a fifty three year. Old Tradition in Sweden. Part of the tradition. Is that every year people try to burn it down. Maria Volpe is this year's yellow goats spokesperson. We reached her in your Sweden Maria. We always take such interest in the omelet goat on this program. I have to ask. You is still standing. Yes they still sunny and yet all is not well in Yaba what has happened last night. There were some person who tried to set the Lilla goat on fire. And so hey what was it really budget but not burn down and we you say the little goat this is the Jaba goats baby brothers. That right yeah yeah. That's that's correct correct. So how did you discover it had been burned. I saw it on the On the news this morning. Because I'm this folks posted over the Diane to the Javan ago so media don't call made it happen something with a little goats so signed so at. It's morning so you were. Were you surprised to to find the little one had been damaged not surprised it's happened before but it's is it hot west side but I'm glad that the giant goat is still standing so so it's always said when they get to our goats notes. Of course I don't know if everybody knows that there's a little brother Goat How big is it? It's about the I guesses. We three meters high and the giants The two thousand meters high. So it's a bit the difference though. He is real baby brother does it otherwise for size look essentially the same. It said it is I'm a school called Voss school on in Yavapai it's upper secondary school With the nationals. Is Science Faculty Club Club. The students the leader one every year. And that's the tradition. A long tradition also and very great thing about the National Science Club is that they were responsible for the young to go between nineteen seventy one nine two seven eight six and without them. The addition with a year ago had ended because posted the businessman or the southern parts of the ABA got tired of all the fires. And I if it hasn't been for for the students weaken find them for that Vista. Have you heard from any of the students. Are they sad today. I haven't spoke to anyone with them but I guess they all said of course. Now the main goat is you say remain standing How how is it that he is still surviving this year when so many others he has has not wailer we have? We have a guard Twenty four seven Secure two camps. Ask things like that but you gotta go test also doubled fences and Higher so that scares a A lot of spontaneous attacks way we think so we have had that for the Saudi area in a row now and he's still standing banding so I think it's a great thing to do. A regular listeners of the program will know that it hasn't always been so good for the go-to it hasn't often some years survived even to Christmas. So how many years has it been burned. Do you know there have been a twenty nine mine. Fire attacks and seven other attacks and he has survived at sixty times as so. That's his fifty. If two story so there have been F- many sorts of attacks like hacker tax that he said being planned kidnapping the things he's been hit by cruising card as so so there are a lot of crazy stories around him do you know what the fascination nations with destroying him. I don't know really too. I think it's a little bit has changed now in inhabitants and fans all over the world get sad and disappointed if something happens with him and so I think I I. I hope that maybe he can be left. Lifted low now and be the the great the Christmas tradition. That is well listen list. I'm really glad it's still standing. You know we we keep an eye on it from here at as a great. We're big fans of the goats. I hope it lasts through New Year ear and I wish you happy New Year. Thank you for speaking with us again. Thank you same to you. Okay bye bye. Maria Vel Bay is as the spokesperson for the goat. We reached her in Sweden. And if you want to see photos of the goat go to our website. CBC Dot Ca Slash Ah The Kelley Fraser Music wasn't just an art form. It was a form of healing born in nunavut. The INUK pop singer rose to prominence in two thousand thirteen. When her a Nook took took cover of Rana's diamonds went viral but her dedication to Enu it language and culture wasn't a one off it was part of who she was and in a way to inspire young people to learn the language and take pride in their heritage to that end? She led music workshops with youth across the North Kelly. Fraser died earlier earlier this week in Winnipeg a cause of death has not yet been announced For years ears men were disappearing from Toronto's Gay village. I feel terrorized. I'm Justin Lee this season on uncover. We see this happening happening. How can you not see this? Bay suspected a serial killer and they were right. Police arrested sixty-six-year-old Bruce Macarthur later. But this wasn't the first time village was targeted. You don't start killing at sixty six. You'd start killing when you're in your late teens. Early twenties uncover the village coach available. Now wherever your podcast. The Cash Mishra had an incredible view of Dubai skyline but it was a view that tormented him. The merchant seamen has just returned to his home in Mumbai after spending nearly three years floating on a shipping vessel off the coast of Dubai. The ships Emirati owners abandoned the vessel in two thousand seventeen after the engine broke down Mr Mishra and his crewmates hunkered down and waited for their pay. Now finally Mr Mitchell will be paid. Eighty percent of his is owed wages and he's made his way back home to his family. In India. We reached Vikash Mishra in Mumbai. Mr Mishra what has it meant for you this week to finally see your wife and children in Rome by after so long actually when I game and I meet with my family my my wife and I feel happiness absolutely because if it was approximately nine months government but I was very it was very disappointing also because my family seems totally destroyed because of this abandonment morally and physically and all they are they are in a very difficult situation. And I don't know if I if I could understand that the situation what was what was here. I will never said that must long even if if company will not pay me a single run then then also I. I want to leave. If I know that my family is suffering like like hell distressingly. I cannot and not miss I cannot explain that what I lost and what might gets lost. I completely lost the moment of my daughter's house also start walking and housing starts speaking. Can you describe for us. What life was like on that abandoned ship for so long? Yes ma'am I actually. Initially Life is very good when Basil was abandoned. When vessel was sailing the things was good even though it it was two months elite salary salary delay was there but it was okay? It was acceptable. Also because we can manage for two months we can manage but then once abandonment. Let's start totally neglecting us. They were not providing a sufficient reason and sufficient drinking water in summer season here in Gulf embratel could miss in maximum pressure. Sometimes this forty seven degree and that time we are getting one point five liter water in nighttime making woodfire and making because there was no electricity so oh life was very difficult I supposed to. I talked to myself that I have to fight for my rights. That's way okay. Is this whole longtime. Let me ask that because Lee Way Marine Services which is the owner of the vessel. They abandoned the ship. After after it the engine died. It would be hard. It's maybe hard for people to understand why you didn't get off the vessel at the same time. Yes ma'am actually. What happened Eh? That when we come to know that now they are not going to repair that. Many Taylor was broken. It it. It was it's controlled a motion of the West so it was broken and company was not at all they are interested to repair it. Even the vessel was loaded with cargo and it should be disturbed that there's a destination but they're they're they're just simply ignored old and actually I feel that in that and the same situation was not only our company have nine and then everyone had the same problem so they finally decided that approx crew was there and April one will miss a I think more then. Six months eight months salary was spending so they thought that if we will taught at them so badly they will leave and they were successful also also on that because so many Google they left Western because they make their life hell they got some some God forty percents. I'm got fifty percent and so many that just left the don't care about money outside so if you left the ship if you left the vessel you would not be paid even though it was description. Yes this is this is yes. If you will need your basil and you out say then you're not a member of the vessel your will then you cannot claim your rights that my sleep and I want like that so you have to. Even they are making life trial and they're not writing a daily basis inks even though we have to be there because we want our rights. So Dad don't have heart while you're on that but both though let me Clarify it was considered illegal for you to leave the ship and that if you had landed landed on shore did you even have the right to be there. Did you have a visa. Actually this had like that that it is illegal because you don't have designed you cannot leave your like like this. You have to come through your agent and all but I said that it is baddest is we have abandoned we. They're not reading food. They're not writing water. Look now the companies agreed to pay you. Eighty percent of your wages owed. Yes ma'am and how do you feel about the way they they have treated you through this whole horrible ordeal yes. I'm I'm saying that we are living in twenty th century now and in this century if a people is treated like a slave it is it. Is it the same full. How did you finally get home? So finally this misinter- safer as I'm very thankful for them actually. I'm very thankful for everyone but this is for Miss Brown own minister. Basically he came like an engine for us. What are your plans now? Will you continue to work as emergency man. Are you going to try and do something. Nothing else means I lost my my my family is now. They are suffering this affordable backfire. Now my plan is I will not go if I will try to work here. Insure something some small job. I will do some small business I will start and I will try to make my family happy. It is better for me and my family. Also Mr Mishra. I'm very happy to hear that you are finally safe at home with your family is is just a shocking story. Thank thank you for sharing it with us. Thanks allotment thanks. Thanks and I'm very thankful for our listeners. You and your family take care. Thank you bye-bye. The Cash Mishra spent nearly three years on a merchant ship off the coast of the United Arab Emirates. He's now returned home to Mumbai. And that's where we reached him. Uh she didn't just win. She made history. But now fallon sheriff's run at the world all darts championships has come to an end last week. The twenty five year old became the first woman to beat a man at the world championship. Put Ms Fallon into the second second round where she won again today Felon Sheriff seemed poised to continue her streak. She was leading her opponent. Chris Dobie to one in the end however Mr Dobie beat Ms Jerick for the two that knocks out of the competition but while she lost the match she definitely went over the crowd. Some of the fans even more blonde wigs and pink shirts shirts in tribute after the match. Sheriff spoke to Sky Sports Reporter. Mickey Austin before men's even though the result was a big debate. Take thank you might not seen under ten to me. They say our I mean for the fans in because they've been behind you right from the saw would now go fans even coming to the dress doubts. Did you know that was it's possible. I think that's fallon share speaking with Sky Sports Reporter Mickey Austin today the twenty five year old was knocked out of the PD see world darts arts championships. After making history last week. When she became the first woman to beat a man? At the event winning the lottery can change a person some splurge on offensive vacation or a bigger house. Others can finally quit their jobs. Natalia Escott Arrow thought she is in the latter camp. Mrs Guerrero is a Spanish television reporter last Sunday. She was covering Spain's annual Christmas draw. It's the biggest in the world with a prize is pool worth more than three billion dollars and miss as Cadarache found live on air that she was winner. Her number was for a prize worth close to six six hundred thousand Canadian dollars. Her reaction was to scream in Spanish. I'm not going into more well wagging her finger in front of the camera. Here's what it sounded good like they didn't that was reporter Italian Escott Arrow reacting on live. TV as she realized realized she had a winning ticket in the draw for the world's richest lottery but what ms as guitar didn't seem to know. Is that the prize seat. One could be split. Many ways and it was Mississauga Darrow. Share ended up being worth only seventy three thousand dollars Canadian and while that's nothing to scoff at. It doesn't seem to have been the quitting money. That is Kandara. Had in mind. She since tweeted out an apology explaining she'd been surprised by the burst of good fortune after a few very difficult months The best kind of gifter thoughtful meaningful and a little surprising. The same can be said of interview questions. It's it's a bar we at as it happens. Strive to meet but it's hard to compete with Nar. The Human Soviet the Canadian interviewer extraordinaire has made his reputation. Nation Bhai shocking. His celebrity guests meticulously researched questions and gifts from their past and in the process Nour's received some stellar reactions. Look the time he asked former Prime Minister Christiane if he would have taken part in protests as a student at an APEC conference in November of Nineteen Ninety Seven I. I've been tested a few times in my lifetime. I did that myself too when I was to them. Do you think though that Mace equals freedom. Some of the protesters were me. What do you see a mace pepper? Spray some technique did not exist in those days for me pepper. I put it on my plate that was former prime minister. John Criterion Speaking to the Human Survey Aka. John Ruskin as it happens trying to interview ardmore once in two thousand fifteen that didn't workout. But in June he was inducted into British Columbia's entertainment hall of Fame mm-hmm and Carol made sure to get him on. The phone is one of our favorite interviews of twenty nineteen. Now do I congratulations. Thank you so much. Watch Carol off. As does this mean that you're star is GonNa be embedded in a sidewalk and people are gonNA walk all over you now on Granville Street in Vancouver British Columbia Canada my hometown. Okay which brings me to very important question for those those people in the country. Who Don't I don't know you know maybe people who do? What does the nar the Human Soviet name? Where does that come from? Well in Ardmore is like a dumb stupid stupid name like sting or Sindbad Human is after the crump song human fly and serve yet in the US. They don't have surfing. They have not worthy human. Serve yet. Okay so this that's the name and then there's the image right people who actually dress up for Halloween like you right. I can't. I'm so honored that people care I guess people kind of think if not work and do it so can i. And I've been doing a radio show since nineteen eighty seven on cit are in Vancouver Canada inspiring people. Hey I can do it. You can't so people can address up like me anybody. I can do it kind of like you. Carol getting involved in the London Gazette. Nice try but don't show because because that and I stumbled upon your radio interested history and I'm still involved but recently I can't because I have no idea where you get a Tam O' shelter in order to aware that on my head I actually on a trip. My mom made Scotland and she brought it back for me. And the reason I wear a Tamil Shannon is Canadian heavy metal legend Sebastian Bach from skid. Row stole my two and because he stole my to my skullcap I where dot Tamil Shantung and actually I dedicated me getting a walk in the hall of fame to my mom. That's great can. Now listen this new tell l.. Is What your your secret is forgetting people to agree to interviews. Because you have I mean. I don't think anybody has interviewed everyone from Pierre Elliott Trudeau to snoop nuke. Doug I mean what what how do you do it. A lot of waning by the stage door for the person that come out and running up to them in fact my last interview. Who's snoop doggy Augie? Dog It only happened because the club owner in Vancouver allowed into the club stoop walked up and confronted. He said I'll do an interview with you only with you. Okay but I bet you. They don't know that you haven't is come to ask them some fan questions. You actually do some pretty heavy duty research. It's fun anybody can and spend time doing research. But they can't be bothered to like who else except me worthy human survey yet week researching new doggy. Dogg it's also asking fearless questions because when you got a Zhang crowds to mock make fun of pepper spraying protesters at the APEC conference when you said does mace equal freedom. Mr Kraft's yet and he says pepper is something I put on my plate. I mean that is one of the most surprising and shocking things that that I get out of John Crazy and so you know you know how to stick the Pinson don't you. I was really scared. When asked that question watching the fact I wanted to disguise? I looked like an actual cub reporter and I thought the media would actually complain about me and trying to get me kicked out of future events. In fact they rambles my story but of course he didn't Credit Narvasa human serve these that a reporter asked and I didn't mind because it's focused issue on what was happening de Pepper spraying at E.. Pack but I was totally scared in fact even talking to you now Carol. I'm scared I'm always scared and the minute I not. Don't scared is a minute I should quit. I just wanted to play you another clip. This is an interview you did with Pharrell Williams in two thousand and eight and he wants said that your research was second to none. That's where everything was laid down in. Virginia I wanted to ask you particularly this Joint Detroit here. Is this where it all started. Right here with the rump Shaker. This is this is this is one of the most impressive interviews of US experienced. Seriously thank you so much is great to be able to talk to you guys. This is Williams at shocked him so much. One of the first recordings called rump Shaker where he was a co writer he it was kind of saying that would bring this recording this record all the way to a hotel room that Cole Road and my very early stages on my career. So that's what. He was freaked out by. How are you doing physically? Because I know four years ago. People were very concerned. We were very concerned because you were in the hospital with the stroke. Thank you very much for the support. I I guess cures whole it happened once before I had actually a brain aneurysm and ninety nine so when it happened again in two thousand fifteen I thought here we go again but the only difference was in ninety nine. I kind of recoiled into a corner. But in a two thousand fifteen music cures also they get out there and you have a lot of support and there are dozens of people who were part of the nomination for you to become part of the BBC. See Walk of fame. So how do they keep that a secret from you. The how do they manage to do that. I have no idea I have trouble telling people that. I'm legit like the artists Sir. Cool but their managers are some of the bit reluctant to talk to a guy called ardmore. The human service yet but some I'll be thirty people were able to sway away the BC entertainment hall of fame. In fact it's kind of sort of like a as it happened. Story like imaging approached me when I talked to Justin Pseudo and two thousand fifteen and it's going to be on as it happens but it didn't happen but she kept working and here. I am now talking to care. We're GONNA have to end this. We want to play another clip and this is snoop Dogg. Who swooped Aguinaga didn't a lot of interviews? Is We have a clip from one of them and here it. It is a double shoutout to my nephew from Vancouver saying conduct. Mr Noord stay hard water while thanks for my snoop new keep on rocking in the free world and Doot doot. doot Doo Doo Doo. We're coming to the end Carol. How's IT happens? My debut on as it happens and it makes me think well tear off sexist speaking to me Narda human serve yet keep on rocking in the the free world and Carol Doo. Doo Doo Doo Doo. From June of this year that was Carol speaking with hardwired the human serve yet after he was inducted into the BBC Entertainment Hall of fame and we have more on this story on our website. CBC DOT CA Slash Ai. H You've been listening to the as it happens. podcast our show can be heard Monday to Friday on. CBC Radio Radio One and on Sirius Xm following the world at six. You can also listen to the whole show on the web. Just go to CC DOT CA slash Aih and follow the links to or online archive. Thank you for listening and Helen Man. And I'm Karen Gordon for more C._B._C.. PODCASTS Goto C._B._C.. Dot C._A. Slash podcasts.

Carol Doo Kentucky Sweden Ardmore reporter Vancouver Mr Mishra Mumbai CBC Karen Gordon Kelly Fraser Tony Kahn Beck Air nar Cash Mishra Mr Nazar Leeann president Ms Fallon
How To Flip Like A Pro

The GaryVee Audio Experience

45:07 min | 1 year ago

How To Flip Like A Pro

"Hey podcast the Gary v Challenge Hashtag. Gary be challenged. That's right. I put out the huge deck. How many pages love to seventy the deck and put out on my birthday is out there now and now I'm scared. Why am I scared because people love consumer information but they hate doing the things in the the information? So we're doing the Gary Challenge Hashtag. Gary challenged. What does that mean? I am now challenging you my audience to make content at scale. Use the Hashtag Gary Gary Challenge in Facebook instagram twitter in Lincoln. So that we can find your stuff and I'm going to pick some winners in January of the people that have gone out and actually made making contractually making making scale. Please go do that. Go check it out looking forward to it. Please enter doing always better than reading. Aw This is Gary v Audio experience what is up everybody. Welcome to resume talks episode number one hundred hundred with the mother fucking. Oh Gee living legend Gary V and if you don't know who he is Google that shit because we don't have fucking time for that. What's up Gary? How are you? I'm fucking excellent. Excellent Bro thank you for having me and I know your time is super valuable and you can do a million things so I'm super stoked to have this opportunity and seeing how the holidays are coming up. I brought you some stuff. I'm going to have to ardmore you real quick. War is famous interviewer. But so this is the jets wrapping paper and by the way he said. Thanks for having me. And it's his show. We're actually at banner media in New York City so everybody who's listening confused. It's weird. I normally do live show at my justin good news. Here's my brother-in-law Justin's here who loves who knows I love to and he loves to play Games so this is a jets monopoly. So I'm pretty fired up about this so Tokyo funny story behind this. If you're listening jets monopoly. This is vintage and I found this at a yard sale over a year ago. They wanted to they. They didn't get it. They got one and it wasn't worth flipping but I told myself you know who would love to have this fucking Gary. I'M GONNA give this to Gary Someday and so now we're here and I'm giving it to you. Do you see that impact on yet. I got one more for you. One more for you very sweet thank you go. You always gotta come bearing gifts so remember when I was on your show last time and you said you were going to give away one hundred scanners and it didn't happen. This is awesome thanks. Let's get this thanks to my buddy's Scout Iq we are giving away a hundred resellers starter kit sets have a bluetooth scanner and three free months to Scout. IQ It's like two hundred and fifty dollar. If I want to win one go to RISI TALKS DOT COM to enter the giveaway. This is the first this this is number one of one hundred. And it's for you that way when you go to trash talk I love it. You can scan books I love I love it. I'm fucking pumped impressed by the pros. There's a lot of pros around here right now. Dude so first off. Let's take it super basic okay. Why do you love the flip game so much you know it you know? I think I'm sure a lot of its genetics. I think for a lot of people were listening who've become aware of you or watching us for the first time because I gave it a push or you know. They searched my name. I think there's a lot of people in the last couple of years who've gone out for the first time and right away they just loved it. There's APPS for me. The true answer is I love the hunt. I love the process when I think about my life. The chase of buying the New York jets building building businesses the grind and loneliness of entrepreneurship even even being a grammar school kid. Who really loved the idea of trying to get like my a fifth grade crush to like me? That was the win the process. I'm about the process and I think I love the thrill of the hunt enters. You know very very few things in my life that my juices going like pulling up at a garage sale. I mean this is why I've never gone to the level of building scale. You know or to me in re-selling in reselling to me. What's so fun? Is the hunt right is I don't know Alexander. There's a recent garage sale. We went to an again seem. Just you were there. When I got the records right the other day? That was the last one right. Just like the thought of like seeing something in the game right like going to garage sale noticing that the stuff's kind of vintage and the families a little weird and there's like there might might be something not seeing anything seeing something from the corner by grabbing it getting into a weird conversation which leads to the kid going downstairs and bring out a whole box. It's like the the hunt the hunt. Right yeah I was actually just talking With Larry about that and I was saying Amazon doesn't get me pumped lake AAC while you're talking about like Ebay or yards. I make all my money on Amazon very little on Ebay but if I if I scan thousand books and I find three that are worth one hundred cool. I made three hundred bucks in a day or a few hours or whatever but what gets me juiced. Is that box a loose pens at the garage sale. How much for that Penn.? Twenty five cents. I knew as a gold pin. It's worth one hundred and fifty fifty bucks or whatever you know that gets not scalable even when smartphones came along. So everybody's listening. This is something I did. In one thousand nine hundred nineteen ninety-three Nineteen ninety-four. Some few weren't even born and this is how I meet side money probably around the time I was at my parents never gave me money probably by the time I was twelve. My parents stopped buying me do things and I was a huge advantage but also lemonade stand kid a hustler. Baseball Card Kid. I was a kid and when I got my license you know in one thousand nine hundred three. That's when it really opened up because you know obviously for a lot of us you know getting a car it's is like super liberating but for me. It was like less about going out with my buddies or like going out at night or things that HR was like wait a minute. I can now stop at any garage sale. Not Nag. The Shit Outta my momma mom you have to stop the run through this and what was really interesting and this will make a ton of sense to you and anybody who follows me. The first stuff I started buying was literally just pop culture nostalgia. I vividly remember buying a happy days. Board Game Him in one thousand nine hundred eighty two for a quarter and just knowing it was worth more than the quarter. Six Million Dollar Man raggedy and I've always waist to this moment have really understood the value of nostalgia the whole comic con phenomenon. That was just something intuitively. I understood and so yeah I totally get it like a lot of what I've pushed over the last eighteen months in the awareness that I've given to this different from the pros. You Larry things that nature. You guys aren't a different kick a different level. A more extreme level a more professional level of like full and utter under this is what I do for a living. I think that what I've noticed has really worked about. What I've said is for the people like you and me who really love the hunt and and easily and very practically through thrift stores I you know goodwill and garage sales are able to actually make a thousand or two thousand a month and love the game whereas even what you were talking about before we went on air here about like Scaling Your Business? Now now you're talking about the other part of my life operations like how our bill wine library how I built this intermediate like. That's a totally different thing. I'm very good at it. I wildly enjoy it but we landed a ten million Elian dollar contract recently. Bainer for twenty twenty for major media when I tell you if I went to a garage sale this Saturday and found a Gremlin. PBC or quarter that goes from nine twenty five on Ebay take into account gas fees packing time. There's no comparison to the juices that go through my body. I cannot I get it I got it. That's awesome dude just a truth. There's that's just the utter truth and I you know and people like that's so crazy I'm like no it's not. Do you love skiing more than making money. Do you love running triathlons watching sports like like like surfing golfing like almost everybody. I know prefers something else that the process of making money those are their hobbies making money. Ironically is my hobby. I'm super pump. That people are starting. What's crazy to me again? Like looking you look having this room. Justin it's really practical like if you're willing to be humble in grind. It's unbelievable it's when I think about how much money was made by professional national resellers in the last four days between Black Friday the weekend and today on cyber Monday. We're filming this on cyber Monday. Like if I was really in the game name and really at scale I feel like I could make a half a million dollars in profit over the last four days. Yeah definitely completely going ham having thirty full time employees which which is big. We're you know we're talking about scale but like of course it's definitely extremely practical so if you're listening to this and you WanNa get into Amazon and your first thought is fucking drop shipping. Fuck that you need to sell physical goods. It's just practical. Start with you stuff. Move on the way up. So you said you're obviously you're all about the hunt hunt in the chase. Another thing that I know you're about is the attention in the consumer behavior and where the attention goes and I've been dying to ask you this question for for fuck three years. You said when you were a young hustler. Doing lemonade stands. They would sit at the intersection and watch the eyeballs of people to see where you should put your signs website hotspot. Shit how the fuck did you learn that at such a young age nine years old and what was the precursor to that. I don't know that that to me is no different than beyond say waking up one morning when she's four and starting saying that was pure so the Sam skill that you use when you were at the baseball trading baseball cards watching how people looked at the table then placing your higher dollar cards in those orders. That's the same skill and you're just saying you you have the innately and there's no precursor to this. That's right that's fucking amazing. You know it's really interesting. I did the National Baseball Card Convention in Chicago this last July and DIRAC. Who If you're listening David Rock? Who has been filming me? For four years. Kind of nonstop. He was is completely taken aback. By the way I was setting up cable he like it just funny. I don't think he said this but I remember thinking at at the time because he kind of looked at me he laughed or said something and I remember thinking like man. This guy must be like laughing like he watches me one minute before I take the stage to talk in front of Twenty thousand people and I'm like kind of nonchalant yet. This baseball card mentions about to open in twenty minutes and the intensity and city of me moving around like this table to this box to we had the Gary by-pass like the sheer focus right. MM-HMM YEAH I. It took me a long. I kind of you probably know this because you can send my content. It was a speech while I was talking that that I had the kind of my normal I was lemonade. Stand Kid baseball card thing and it just kind of like you know how your brain works just remembered of wait a minute because I think I was thinking thinking about like why was like I always thinking myself as humble and in the dirt I was like why didn't I have the humility to stand behind the table. was that six or seven. Did I think I was a big shot. And like make make Robin Tournament. Marissa and Eric Godfrey standby table. And that's what led me like to fuck. was I doing like what are you doing at that moment. And that's what it was and yes like probably somewhere in the last half decade. I realized I've been chasing attention my whole life and whether it was whether it was Ting Lane and Edison New Jersey putting up a sign or or whether it's understanding that tick tock is now in. Its moment it's been the same game. Do you feel maybe that chasing your father's attention was part of developing that skill. Oh that's interesting question. I don't know but it's a really question you know it's interesting. I don't when I hear that question from you. It's so thoughtful. And some on like psychology shit that gets me pumped and I'm trying to give it the respect of how good of a question rushed it is. I don't want affirmation from individual people but I love macro affirmation so on a one to one basis. I haven't noticed me. gravitate towards acceptance by an individual which is back to like. Why high schoolwork? They're things that nature. But I think the way I'm approaching myself I want the world's affirmation admiration listen respect. Love not my mom or dad or kids or an interesting interesting. I think of that a lot I think about my energy on a one to one basis versus what happens when the cameras on or one on stage I think about how cheering or booing is something. I always recognize not an individual person. Saying you're good. You're a bad I also also you know wonder you know like that was so early to eighty seven like subconscious definitely. Potentially I may be but it's funny. I don't I don't feel like I have. I've never never over or under reacted to my mom or dad's individual praise or or pushbacks. Right it's not like you hack your dad's attention engine by working in the liquor store you had to work in the liquor store I've focused. I've I've always focused on beating my dad being a better businessman than my dad is a real energy my dad because he respects that you have to understand something that people don't realize I've started upset at recently. My Dad was great at saying I. I love you and hugging me and being affectionate. He wasn't around a whole lot. He's quiet but he also even in the beginning thing when he was probably a little bit colder more more removed for me. Obviously we built our relationship during being going from fourteen to thirty. I think people look for that when their parents don't praise or show affection. I didn't have that issue with either parent very luckily. So Oh I don't think I gravitated towards that because I think I was getting physical and even verbal affirmation so we both had not the best upbringings. Your immigrant I grew up super-duper poor neglected abused welfare. Government healthcare all that stuff and I'm super thankful for it because because it gave me a huge advantage because I one being neglected I learned to get attention and what to do with it and because I never had anything I could give a fuck less. I had nothing to lose. Anything was better within that and I existed with my back against the wall. So I'm comfortable shit with my back against the wall but many people are not many adults in this world. You know they. They don't want to take any risk. I tell them how to hustle and they're like but what if what if I'm like Yo if there's no what if it's not even worth doing you know what I mean and so my question to you is. How can we raise raise our children to have that mentality or I guess? Can it be taught without being bad. Parents could be taught easily without being bad parents. It's actually league. I actually think you know. Listen I I had a great childhood in the fact that I think I had the blend of the two you know I. I don't come from the background. That a lot of people come from true poverty or true like abuse whether mental physical. So I think think I. I think there's a lot of people similar to me that come from an energy. That's darker than mine. I think my energies more lighter by luck. That's it's not me being better. That's me being a product of my circumstance. I think a lot I might chip on. The shoulder is real. Because I also wasn't I I'm a byproduct of being super loved but not being handed anything and so I think the way to be a great parent is kind of what happened with me. which is you can love? Love your child you can shower them with praise when they deserve it. No fifth place trophies. You know where this is going and so like I think you know I think the the biggest issue for parents today is they create entitlement and they and that's different than spoiling your kids like for example. I'm happy you to spoil my kids but I- verbally often remote like mice. Asked my daughter this weekend. What are you GonNa do when I don't buy this stuff? You know what I should say. I don't know I don't have to get a job. She's like yeah like like you know like like now the key is when she is thirteen. Fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen every parent gets to decide when they cut their children off financially. I'm a big buyer and belieber of cutting your children off financially initially to lead to happiness. What you're talking about is something else which is even more important? How you get your kids to not not care about other people's opinions is a tricky one because as I've thought about it I'm like wait a minute? My parents my dad wanted my mom but my dad it also hit it and I also wasn't around him as much. My mom genuinely didn't give a fuck about what people thought you know. We were all. The Russian immigrants stayed in York. All the Russian imigrants went on vacations and flashed their cash as they got older. And my mom my mom was referred to by Russian friends and acquaintances is like the girl that's in the boondocks doing nothing with her life. Now all at family weddings and reunions. They all praised my mom and put on a pedestal because because they all have children who've had far more adversities adulthood then my my mother has an a lot of that had to do with the foundational work. She did you know out now now this is about insecurities you know my brother and my sister and I are all different even though we have the same parenting this comes down to. What are you insecure about? And then more importantly I'm a big buyer and upset at allotted like you need to look some privacy matters but like sharing your deepest darkest things Sometimes is unlock to your listen. Nobody wants to do what you say. And talk about because they don't have the humility because they don't don't want friends to think the garbage people. It's like riding a moped. One hundred percent of people were completely freaked out by me like when I like Bro when I the first trash talk I I think the way trash-talk went was. I think maybe the first time I did it on instagram stories. And like I could tell that it was like some juice there so then mindy rock decided to film it. A lot of my friends friends. A lot of my business acquaintances business friends flat out. Hit me up and we're like are you okay like like why are you doing this. The fuck are you on your knees at a garage. Also at a time. We're I think I was in the beginning stages of this next level of me like I was clearly starting to blow up even more so a lot of friends were kind of like. You can't do this like you're starting to shine like by the way they weren't that cool with author slang. They were more like hey. You should not do this. This is a bad look your professional. What will the CEO's and CMO's of the biggest companies in the world? What about all these Hedge Fund and private equity guys and Gals? What about all these famous people? You're starting to hang out with. What are they going to think? And like it was even interesting to me because I was like. It didn't even cross my mind. I was fucking these people talking. You could give a fuck especially because I was getting immediate feedback on on. DM from people. Like wait I can do this. Like this is real like I remember it. Vividly recalling most of the M.'s. Were like staged aged usually people in the business or no right people in the business of saying no so here. Here's next I segue so Do you think that the flip life you know the smurfs. PVC twenty five cents to nine. Twenty five is that. How your minds working? When you're thinking about buying Peter Pan Peanut Senate butter slipping it and so those skills translated? It's the same thing for you. The delighted with K.. Swiss is the same thing. Think about which like why buy plush slush health. How many pairs of? Oh One's got dead stock. Oh once yeah debris like like those are my favorite i. It's funny like I I don't have I'm bad at that like I'm hopeful that I have every pair I feel like I might be. I figured you'd have a storage locker and be covered but like I don't know Yeah it's all the same game That's awesome So where this is. This question is super super important to me in a lot of my audience because as resellers what we do is based on two parts of the whole consumer experience. How are they buying? And how you are the stores selling because we're mostly buying from retail stores a used stuff sometimes garage sales thrift stores but more towards the new stuff for this question. How do you see the future picture of the consumer shopping experience retail online s mile? One hour delivery and then where do we fit into that as resellers because you know what if small towns are like well. We don't need a best buy anymore. We're going to have a best buy vending machine with using. Ai They put the top five hundred products in there. You know know what I mean because you see like Japan and stuff. They have all these vending machines. I think that if you're committed to thinking about the consumer marketplaces you're always in the game. The worry is that your margins get squeezed right. Like if you're an Amazon new product reseller and tomorrow they they announced a different fee structure. The fucker you're going to do about it cry get some Bassolino so so. I think that I think that one of the things I like about what you are doing and others are doing is I do think it's important to build a brand outside of if you're at the mercy of the platform in the Middle Your mercy of the platform in the middle right like the example I just said is super real. It's enough to take away enough margin from people all that could affect them. So how in touch are you with the The newer shopping marketplaces. That are coming out or they have been out. You know. It's not just ebay Amazon anymore. We got a car all that we got macari but most importantly I wanted to ask you about posh mark which is mostly for clothing and stuff and also like deep to which is kind of like an instagram for shopping young but they have a posh mark has a huge social media aspect to it like a to me as a businessman. It seems dumb as Shit. Because you have to share your items to the feed and that's how people see them in and it sells but they just rolled out a story feature on posh mark as well so now you can create content of you wearing your addresses boomerangs whatever to me. It just doesn't fuck and make sense shopping experience time so just don't get it. You know like I see my daughter. She's nineteen gene and she buys shit off of De pop and she pays forty bucks for some vintage sweater and I just go show her. I'm like look you could get it off Ebay for twenty. Why didn't you look on Ebay? She's like if as as cool as weird not as cool. I just don't get it well. There's people that by eighteen martinis because it's a cooler place to drink a Martini. Yeah that's a fucking good good perspective episode over. Actually it's probably the most important part of the episode so far people need to understand Stan brand. That's why should is there. Because she wants to say she bought it there. It's the same reason that ninety nine percent of people aren't going garage saling and threatening. They don't want to see the one thing that I noticed about because I use my daughter and her friends like a focus group. Though it's the best plot your snapchat. How what's your streak? Let me it. And I noticed that Posh Mark D- Pop some of these other sites. They're buying from they use apple pay. You can use news debit cards. You GotTa make an account on Ebay. You know you gotTa make an account on Amazon. You gotTa Link Up to your credit card link up your reason why text exploded for me you know for my dad's business. It's a super easy once you put in your credit card upfront. All you do is reply with a number. Lack of friction has awesome lack of friction. Rich people don't want friction. People want fast fast fast and simple like I think you should make something called trash text and like I just have one product today and it will sell just an extra sale every phone numbers. Now all of a sudden you can talk you build a community. I I listened to answer your question back to the beginning unlimited opportunities forever in Nineteen ninety-two garage sales and then going to a fleamarket living. That's how I did it. I would buy for weeks at a time and then occasionally go to a flea market and set up a normally family then made just I just thought about one of my best deals ever set up at a flea market in the Shannon station New Jersey little small town and I'm setting up and and then I look to the right and this guy just pulls out a ton of original strawberry shortcake and package just walked over in scooped up all of them for a great price like crush that anyway way. They'll always be something that's awesome. They'll always be something if you're good who loses. When things like that happen is the bottom fifty percent right the people that aren't really the working extra words right the ones that found one deal? It's the same people that DM either like Yo. You're fucking ruining the game RISI and and I'm like what you have to get off your ass now winning what game that first of all you me. And all every single person on youtube combined that puts without information doesn't remotely dent the game. Let's start with that. Thank you for when people like you ruining it. Thank you for the EGO boost. If you think I'm big enough to to ruin a multibillion dollar platform in a world where only maybe a couple million people actually know who I am and one percent of them will do something right so I think the I think they'll always be something they'll always be arbitrage opportunities but the people that are vulnerable the people that have one move. I I look at resellers. The way I look at social media people a lot of social media. Celebrities only have instagram. They're in trouble if you're only going to TJ MAXX and only flipping hang on Amazon new stuff from TJ Maxx. You're probably vulnerable. TJ Maxx gets bought tomorrow if your business model is Walmart one hundred whole. That's right you need to really elite expand. There's always stuff. There was a kid who listen to me carefully and made solar eclipse glasses. Yep Bright Johnson. I don't know if that was the guy. I just remember the email but like an ungodly amount of money on one product right so let's look at pop. Culture like look at no the Prince Charles is going to be the king like like like make King Charles t shirts awesome target. Everybody named Charles like notion tactical no ship. The second you see this go girls become a thing figuring out what it is and create a fiscal girl roll kit by scrunchy from China for Hydro Flask Hydro Flask for a penny shell necklaces for a penny. Get a nice little fucking box call it a visco girl all set and fucking go like that would've fucking crushed for Halloween. The VISCO girl Halloween would also rushed for this Christmas as a funny gift like that. Grandma's would have bought for granddaughters. If you saw that trend like I did in February. You could've had it all together. Probably been all in for six bucks and fucking forty forty dollars sets crashing. I actually think that maybe no one has done that right now. So like and that's like I can't wait to Google just a million other things I don't know like pay attention Who Tomorrow had a crazy game last night? Up Twenty nine. He's the first Japanese NBA player and fucking go. Buy Up all his cards and go start a line account. which is the big social network in Japan and fucking flip? Listen Listen I've come to learn and last year that Stanford last minute is a talent. I didn't realize how smart I I was when it comes to eating ideas so I understand what I just infor last minute is not everyone's talent but if I can do that in a minute in it that's a lot of practice over the last forty four six thirty eight years to let me do what I just did. You can start the process of trying to get good at that but it's very real and it will continue to be real. That is fucking awesome. That's I I literally can't wait to look that up got one more question for you. If you were me and you just interviewed you. What's your next move? Well I do WANNA leverage my name to get as much awareness for this so I probably run Instagram mm-hmm and facebook ads against my fans to listen to this episode. Right because what. You're trying to build awareness and I've talked enough about about this subject matter that they're still a high percent even though I've given you a bunch of shutouts through the years pronouncing your improperly not pronouncing your name properly I you you know there's still a far. I would argue that ninety percent of the people that follow me. That are intrigued or have started doing some version of this probably still. Don't know who you are our instagram story ads so cheap that you can get in front of a lot of my fans with imagery from this and probably build a ton of awareness. Birth Thousand Bucks Awesome. That's what I would definitely do. I think a really the other thing. I think that smart is trying trying to kind of black out in these interviews but like anything that we talked. I'd probably buy a bunch of Hutu more rookie cards watch. Hope that he continues just to play while and then make two minute video in six months of the moment where I mentioned it. The video recordings of screen shots Of you buying a bunch and then of you flipping it and then basically saying like how I took a moment for my own podcast. Eight hundred seventy three like thinking that way. uh-huh you see where I'm going. Yeah Yeah love it. That's more I. I also think that if I'm you I I would be thinking a lot about the red paper clip thing so I think you can show up on fallon or Kimmel or the today show so if I think every other professional reseller should try the game of how I turned a dollar into ten thousand with hardcore documentation Asian garage sale. I flipped nine. Flip to nine dollars nine dot like Like really genuinely showing every single thing. Take take all the excuses out the trash trucks the funniest because I just love reading the comments you whatever dude you spend all your money on gas. I'm like you mean the same gas you spent to go to work like like people they're always like what about the gas and I always say like when you take your girlfriend out on a date. You count the knock doc it to directly what they're saying. I'm like this is about alternative income when you go to work. You're spending money on gas. They're not figuring out. I mean you know what. I'm definitely doing that next trash talk. I'm definitely making the first seen me go. No Gas Station filling up the tank and deducting it from the end of the episode. And be like all right. Let me four hundred twelve dollars to fifty three. So those are those same people that want their on me because I'm not saying potential profit unlike. Jesus fucking Christ we all know. It's potential it's business. I'm into it. I'M GONNA put potential into like you know like like all of it. What now all of it like suffocating? Out Excuses I do think there is a little bit of a National USA Today ap like how you can just wake up and see how this guy turned the dollar into forty three thousand dollars in three months. That will go. Yeah you can read a book like a hard heard core that like take one dollars by one thing as Yudo as you know as many people listening. No there's an enormous or miss amount of every time there's a town wide sale by the way that's a hack that I want to push more of like I don't garage sale in random garage sales like think I don't use garage Ciller Google to find like one garage sale. I'll only garage sale winters town wide garage sale so that I could hit fifty two of them in a two hour hour period now. Not every state has town whites. I've come to learn and obviously that's that but like I think every flipper knows there's a lot of dollar for forty dollar profits sitting there like I don't even do it for the money I like the nostalgia. I would argue you. I could probably make I mean I almost think you should buy almost everything like it's Kinda scary. Actually when I look at it like I don't like the things. Were the most money any sense electronics. Like I really love reading the comments on trash. Talk to see people are smart enough like I watched people once in a while. Do you left the fucking popcorn maker that that was twenty eight. I'm like I know I just don't like I like the Nintendo the jacket and that gets me going yeah. I'm still the one thing that I have achieved in my career. Yet is the ludicrous. Ludicrous Ludicrous one off item. What's the best thing ever? I don't mean I don't mean most valuable thing. Well okay. I'll give you a bonus or bog a stories to wrap up one. I'm looking at just an I had a recent one like like I didn't trash talk it. Unfortunately but the plush fucking thing I did just that was nuts that that was ten bucks more we have. Here's how the story goes. I roll up on a yard and they just have off thought load of stuffed animals roles and I look with tags on pop culture immediately. I've seen the South Park stuff I'm like and I'm funny. I'm a little bit purist because I'm completely playing. I hated one. Phones came along. I love that I knew shit on memory or intuition so I still kind of do that a little bit like I'll still kind of play it pure and and not look shit up but these I mean they had. I don't know nine hundred stuffed animals and I'm like how much are like. What do you want? It was kind of funny negotiation like well. Can I fill up some black trash bags that you guys have like sure. I'm like how much they're like ten bucks for Rabab Mike. How about five like okay? These are like the huge black ones right. You know like some half these. I'm like fuck flex bags to justice. Point what I should have done I and if I was doing trash talk I would have. I would have gone for the hype I would have bought an aw. Aw limit inside three bags worth for like fifteen bucks but like like I don't know seven nine hundred thousand sold one for fifteen bucks. I'm sure other the fucking there was the South Park ones. Were like ninety and seventy and sixty like the poopie guy and they were like. Oh it was crazy so that was a recent big one. There was a monster thrift store score in two thousand and one I went to a Yankees game. It's still sits there but now Yankee stadium moved but there's a thrift store called thrift land. Right next to Yankee Stadium. We go to the game me and my girlfriend a couple of friends. And I'm like wait a minute and I run into their and holy fucking Shit when I tell oh you. They had four thousand video games. Atari and Nintendo at fifty cents dollar and this is again to one so so this video games for the price started going crazy. I bought everything right. Everything bought it all. Didn't even go to the game. It's a great story. I liked what everything was. I gotta take this home left. Didn't go to the game Nobody went nobody went looked up the games on Ebay so one never forget. Get crazy climber for Atari hundred eighty bucks. It's come down now. I think it's like seventy eighty bucks now. I still look it up once in a balloon. Wow that was huge favorite favorite thing. You know what I love buying paper Non Books Paper Books playbills told me about last time. You're the best. Thank you so much. So my favorite school. This is actually true and you helped me. Thank you my single favorite score. It's true and I said it last time on my podcast but you're absolutely right going to wind meaning same thing you yard sale Thursday. I am Friday a state sale. Go in Chatham New Jersey going to a meeting with a wine vendor which I rarely did almost always. That was at the store. I don't even remember why see assign a little early. Fuck it Poland. This is now. He's still in high school. which is like junior sure? Aj does this is two thousand three. Pull in house walking through find a nineteen seventies seventies knickerbocker stuffed animal huckleberry hound. I'm like yes. This is fucking Legit hanna-barbera get that for a buck was like forty forty fifty bucks big score go in the basement. See like fucking thirty boxes liquor and beer boxes pull up look down playbills Broadway play. I like to Broadway. Plays wasn't even sure what the fuck they were. Kinda new old. As fuck like yellowish white paper. That's right nineteen forties fifties. Ask them how the sign says like something good. I remember like five. I four dollars something like in a mix I mean there were fucking four thousand of them. I go how much do you want like that. I for everything like everything they're like. I don't remember. I think they wanted a hundred bucks which I was already pumped as so pumped right. They didn't get it. They didn't even come close to forty forty. It took me like twenty minutes put in the car again. Call all the liquor guy. McKay gotta cancel not feeling well Dr Correctly to one hundred and county New Jersey forty minutes away try to get. Aj Out of school. They wouldn't let me take me out of school literally drove my brothers high school and asked to take him out of school. Like we won't let you're not the Guardian Fuck. Had to wait. Like two hours came out of school. He couldn't wait. I'm sitting in his room organizing everything he jumps on the computer. And we'd just start going when we go through it found like four nineteen forties Brooklyn dodgers like programs. We found the original nineteen forty one. Pinocchio movie thing like there was like I mean that one was like tens of that that was tens of thousands six ten eight to ten thousand not tens of thousands. 'cause we we still have them in the attic. We had so many. Yeah Yeah I remember desperately wanting to find a rock and roll t shirt because I kept seeing them on Ebay for two to three hundred four hundred and like they should be so easy. Nineteen eighties concerts. Never found one finally found a bruce springsteen nineteen eighty-four small I modeled it on Ebay which I remember being it was like super tight. That went for like thirty five for some reason. That's still sits as a good one. It's weird Al The house. That was just a fucking other day. I put it on Ebay right with members of the family sold couple staff. That was wild. I was trying to negotiate with this couple. They were elderly and they're just not responding and I'm like fuck they can't hear and then at one point looking right at me I'm like fuck. They're like they're like the greatest. This negotiators ever like fuck years. Don't call figure when I finally came to pay for it. They unfortunately they were both deaf. It was very they were so sweet anyway. That was a crazy I found like what was the brand. It was not not a not a pan. I can't pants. That were cavalry cheese. They wasn't cabaret cheese. It was like to Sheiky. Thank you so much. It was Sergio Chigney suit. Do you remember this picture picture. Dustin in the summer the one with the jumpsuit that I looked like I was in sopranos that I put on fucking instagram. I looked completely ridiculous. That thing was like one forty what I pay four bucks anyway. That's the flip. Life is all guys the flip like Super Real. Stop fucking around. Don't care what your neighbors parents say. Just fucking go garage sale and facebook marketplace the all these new APPs garage sales TJ maxx marshalls all spoken all of it. Yup what's the best. You've gotta go forty five minutes late but I so Give me a flip. Recently the best score in the last three to six months I found a wooden box. That had a gold army ring in it. I bought it for a buck. How much for this wooden box shake? It has some stuff in it. They're like a a buck by couldn't open it because the KNOB was missing smash it on the curb inside was a gold. US Army Ring sold that for two hundred bucks to the metal shop that day right away. Then there was a baseball in a perspex case with a shitload a signature as a whole team and I start looking at it and you know you're like whatever and then you'll see Willie mays I'm like Oh shit turns out it was the last year they were the New York. Giants has the whole fucking team on there. I learned if it was just Willie mays. It would be worth way more because team signed balls coaches new signatures and shit or whatever ever that balls worth like a thousand bucks just sitting on my desk and then also in the same box of really cool vintage Italian switchblade. That's worth two hundred bucks that also kept but all that stuff in a wooden box you know seemingly unimportant. How much would this box a dollar smashing on the curb treasure trove? There's a gun bear air that me and AJ bought for ten cents. This when we figured out stuff stuffed animals still kill like I've shown it recently and like people doing really well with plush. We bought a gunned sailor sailor. There was a sailor. Bear with Guns Gone G. U. N. D. O. Gun. YEA got the company but for ten cents went for three eighty five damn super rare one super with the tag no tax. No Tag Tag. Wow that's crazy. Well thanks for your time Gary Real Pleasure. Yeah guys if you're not flipping. You're slipping tune in every Monday night. Turn and every Monday night six. PM To my life show on Youtube. Catch me on instagram. Go to resells DOT COM. Grab my free intro to Amazon. Course and we'll see you guys on the next episode peace Thanks guys for listening. Please please please share the podcast. And make sure you've subscribed because a bunch of you aren't subscribed and and more importantly a bunch of you. Listen every day haven't told your friends it's the best podcast in the world. I'm watching have a great day.

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The Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary

Rosary Prayers with Jude-Xavier

22:59 min | 2 years ago

The Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary

"I'm jude savior. And i invite you to join with me in praying the luminous mysteries of the rosary in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit i believe in god the father almighty creator of heaven and a and jesus christ. His only son ardmore was conceived by the holy spirit. Born of the virgin. Mary suffered under pontius pilot was crucified died and was very. He descended into hell on the third day. He rose again from the dead. He ascended into heaven and seated at the right hand of god. The father almighty from there he will come to judge the living and the day. I believe in the holy spirit. The holy catholic church the communion of saints the forgiveness of sins. The resurrection of the body and life everlasting ahmen. Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name my kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the less it up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary of god pray for us sinners now and the out of our depth are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the less it up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the out of our day. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the it up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Laurie be to the father. And the son and the holy spirit as it was in. The beginning is now endeavour shelby steele without ahmen. The first luminous mystery the baptism of our lord in the river jordan jesus had come from galilee to john at the jordan to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him saying. I need to be baptized by you and to you come to me. But jesus onset him let it be so now for. It is proper for us in this way to fulfill all righteousness. Let us offer this decade of the rosary for the recently baptized and for those preparing for baptism we pray to for a spirit of humility and we pray for our own private intentions. Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come. They will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou monks women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art though amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thi- womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. Dr amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb cheeses. Holy mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death men glory be to the father and the son and the holy spirit as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be world without end our men. Oh my jesus forgive us all sins save us from the fires of hell lead all souls into heaven especially those in most need of mercy on the second luminous mystery. The wedding feast qena. There was a marriage at cana of galilee and the mother of jesus was there. Jesus was also invited with his disciples as we pray this decade of the rosary. Let us pray that we may be attentive to the presence of the lord and the miracles. He works around us as we pray this decade of the rosary let us pray for those who are preparing for marriage for the recently married and for those celebrating special anniversaries. We pray also for those whose marriages are in difficulty. And for those who counsel them. Let us pray to for our own private intentions. Our father who ought in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out there amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. The amongst women and blessed is the fruit of womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death ahmen hail mary full of grace is with the blessed art. Thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb gestures. Holy mary mother of god pray for sinners now and at the hour of our death. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out there amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for sinners now and at the hour of our death. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death on n hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death men glory be to the father and the son and the holy spirit as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be world without end our men. Oh my jesus forgive us ins save us from the fires of hell lead all souls into heaven especially those in most need of thi- mercy on the third luminous mystery the proclamation of the kingdom of god seeing the crowds. Jesus went up on the mountain. And when he sat down his disciples came to him and he opened his mouth and taught them let us offer this decade of the rosary for the in spirit. The meek For peacemakers for those who persecute for our enemies for those who are anxious for those who are in any kind of need and for those who pass judgment. We prayed to for our own particular intentions. Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come. They will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out there among women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Holy mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up there amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb gestures. holy. Mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed arm angst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed. Arthur amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. The -mongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy jesus holy mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death on n glory be to the father andrew the son and the holy spirit as it was in the beginning is now endeavor shelby world without end. Arman oh my jesus forgive us save us from the fires of hell lead all souls into heaven especially those in most need of thy mercy amen. The fourth luminous mystery the transfiguration after six days. Jesus took with him. Peter and james and john and lead them up a high mountain apart by themselves and he was transfigured before them and his face shown like the some and his garments became white as light. Let us pray in this decade of the rosary that we may reveal the glory of the lord to those around us. We pray to for our own private intention. Our father who ought in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from our men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with a blessed out the amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb gestures. Holy mary mother of god. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. The -mongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up amongst amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed our -mongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. Dr amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death amen. Laurie be to the father. And the son and the holy spirit as it was in the beginning is now endeavors shall be world without end our men. Oh my jesus forgive us our sins save us from the fires of hell lead all souls into heaven especially those in most need of the mercy. Fifth luminous mystery the institution of the eucharist when the our came jesus santa table and the apostles with him and he said to them i have earnestly desire to eat this passover with you before i suffer for i tell you i shall not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of god as we pray this decade of the rosary. Give thanks for the gift of the eucharist. We pray for all who celebrated with care and attention. We pray for those who take the eucharist to the housebound and those in hospital. We pray for those who are cut off from the altar that they may be reconciled and meet once again the living god the bread of life. We prayed to for our own private intentions. Our father who ought in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come. They will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Ahmen hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out there amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death on n hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed though amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Arman hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed are amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed up amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death amen. Hell mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out there amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary mother of pray for sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Men hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of loom. Jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death are men. Hail mary full of grace. The lord is with the blessed out. The -mongst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Jesus holy mary. Mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death main glory be to the father and the son and the holy spirit as it was in the beginning is now ever world without end arman. Oh jesus forgive us our sins. Save us from the fires of hell lead all souls into heaven especially those in most need of mine the see. I'm in hail heavy. Queen mother of mercy our life our sweetness and our hope to the the we cry poor vanished children of eve to the we send up our size mourning and weeping in this veil of tears turn then most gracious advocate by nys of mercy towards us and after this our exile show onto us the blessed fruit of the womb. Jesus clement oh loving. O sweet virgin. Mary pray for us. So holy mother of god between may be made worthy of the promises of christ's let us pray. God begotten son by his life. Death and resurrection has purchased for us. The rewards of eternal life ranch we beseech the but meditating upon these mysteries of the most holy rosary of the blessed virgin mary. We make imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise through the same christ star our lord in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit army. And thank you for joining me in crying these mysteries of the rosary. The other mistry's at catholic musings dot org forward slash rosary. Also at that website catholic. Musings dot org. You can find a weekly thought on the sunday mass readings and also should you so wish an opportunity to support the work and ministry of catholic musings by becoming a patron through the patriots link. also on that website. There are links to purchase my books on the mysteries of the rosary. In addition the website has links to follow me on social media. Facebook instagram and twitter. May god bless you today and always.

Jesus holy mary mary full Hail mary Ahmen arman ahmen Holy mary shelby steele river jordan jesus galilee holy catholic church pontius ardmore Laurie Jesus Mary john jordan jesus santa John
5 Questions: Debt Consolidation, Combining Finances and Long Distance Move

Listen Money Matters

53:49 min | 1 year ago

5 Questions: Debt Consolidation, Combining Finances and Long Distance Move

"This episode is sponsored by Homeadvisor. Finding the right pros for home. Projects can be tough and spark a lot of questions like how do I find a Wpro who can help or will they do a good job most importantly will. I get a fair price. That's where homeadvisor can help from leaky faucets to major remodels. homeadvisor connects you with the right pro for the job and second and even helps you get a fair price. Read Reviews Check Project Cost Guides and book appointments go to Homeadvisor DOT COM or download the free homeadvisor APP to start your next project. Hey everybody welcome to listen. moneymatters remember the golden rule. Whoever has the gold makes the rules that hi my name is Matt and I'm here is always with Andrew. How are you and what are you drinking a good dude awesome thank you. I'm streaky. I appreciate at that Yeah Yeah. I'm glad you're awesome. Thank you this. This guy who just came to my house left to heaven wise in there. It's a it's a light awful rule. I daresay it's delightful. That's a good one from a tired hands brewery in ardmore. Pa I was just in town and that's like the main brewery. I drive an hour and a half to go visit every time I'm home. Oh No shit yeah not an hour and a half an hour is a heaven wise in the type that you've been brewing no oh that's a new England. IPA does not similar kind of similar in the fact that it's cloudy but a different yeast strain and different hop profile L. but it does. It does have lead a wheat beer. The German wheat beer heff unwise have stinky east a banana clove bubble gummy the smell you get bubblegum. I wanNA maybe a little bit banana. Yeah clove in another one thomason scripture of the smell. It's good yeah it seems like the Beer Garden yes and it should because it's German so I am drinking in a New England style. IPA which you just mentioned or I mentioned brewed with Citra Eldorado an Marilo Rama Amarillo. US double dry hopped Simcoe hops and it's from brewery called y'All's brewing here in Boulder Colorado and I've actually met the head brewer. You'll air annual. Oh Yeah so drinking his beer promoting. WE'RE GONNA go to pick up his beer. Colorado shopping shopping so it's pretty good I wanNA thank Michael who sent in our catch phrase raise today via email. Thank you Michael Very much and today. We're doing five questions as you probably read from the title of episode. Let's get into it What are you doing all right question number. One is all about debt consolidation. Do they actually work. The debt. Consolidation companies actually work or is it scam. That's a fucking great question yeah and so I dug in and it turns out Dave Ramsey really he has quite a lot to say about this okay and so One yes there are some companies that will be scams as with with anything in life as a general concept no it is not a scam and there's two separate camps or so there's consolidation which is taking all these fifty credit cards and putting into one debt that payment so it's kind of like a refinance would be similar to getting a personal loan and just using your personal loan to pay off all these credit cards and then just paying back the personal loan that is that is exactly it okay and so the things that people like. Dave Ramsey say against it is one the monthly payment will probably be less because because it's spread out over a longer term so if you're say pet you have to pay down all of your debt and it's five hundred dollars a month and you consolidate it and now you only we have to make one hundred dollars a month payment can take longer to pay the thirty two year term. Yes you will pay more but you know if you are smart about it and you reduce the rate and you pay the interest rate and you pay it off quick. You're going to do well with these consolidation companies. They may also charge you origination fee which sucks so so you know hey you have ten thousand dollars in debt. We charge a ten percent origination fee so now you're eleven thousand dollars in debt. We also lowering straight so we're we're all adults here. If you have credit cards you can. You're clearly capable of applying for loans so when it comes to consolidation just do it yourself yep now. It's no there's another like camp where we got the consolidation and now we have relief and companies that do relief what they do is and this really only works. If you're like right on the precipice of like do you really Kinda can't pay your debt off. They go and call your credit card companies people money to and like look matching matching easy. He's not going to pay you a dime but if you cut it in half I think he can handle it so negotiators right and so they essentially get your total amount that you owe oh reduced and what they do is they do not collect a fee or anyone that you sign up for should not collect a fee. MSA literally get reduced and it would still be less than you'd originally pay and those I think are awesome but again if you think you can negotiate with these companies. It's obviously cheaper to do it yourself so debt consolidating companies. Do they actually work final answer. Yes consolidation companies. Yes but you do that yourself debt relief. Yes and that's up to you. If you use it or do yourself. Tell me that it's probably a better question but I'm just like hypothetically. If you were in a Shitload of credit card debt what would you do. I'm a hard ass of the show. I I want to call people up and I want to do like the most dour to speak to your supervisor yeah. You know what I would do that because that's not you yeah I also. I think there's a little bit of I mean look. I'm I've a friend. WHO's currently considering debt consolidation. The problem is is that when you have a lot of debt yet you also probably have a bad credit score and you also have a lot of debt. getting a loan from the bank is probably not in your cards that they're probably gonna be like wait wait. What do you want to do with what you WanNa. Do it alone. You WanNa pay off a bunch of credit card debt yeah. We're not giving you this loan. See the thing is is these days. If you go due to a company like Ernest or credible and like we wrote a by sensitively anyone will get a debt from these alone from these companies companies. Just the rate depends on how would it is right yeah and then thing is almost certainly you're going to get a rate lower than a credit card interest rate so okay. If that's what you're debt is you will almost always be better off so would you be would you recommend instead of going to a debt consolidation company going to something like Ernest or so oh fire credible and getting your own personal loan out. Yes I would say in that case you do that. Debt relief depends how negotiating you think you okay so this is not planned. I just figured why not help out. A brother in arms could listen moneymatters dot com slash ernest yeah. If you want to sign up for earnest which is the one you recommend yes. I think they're the best one cool and that is is from Simone via facebook. Thank you so much for that question. Probably one of the best questions we've ever gotten because. I've had that same question for years what the Fox what's up with these companies. You know what I mean all right so question number two apparently for me. That's what the notes say so in red okay here. It's a very it's very red okay. Maybe I should read it them yeah. Why don't you lose one reading these fucking questions. Why don't you take a load off all right. I'm GONNA sit down. Ah Long Distance move. I want to start off by saying absolutely the show Yada Yada Yada. Cook love the show recently. I was just offered a move. I'm from upstate New York to Kentucky through my job General Motors cool. They give us an allowance of five thousand dollars to move super cool. It'll be a raise a a better plan to work at as well and he's been trying to leave New York for some time. She's been trying to leave New York for some time. Her question is are there any tricks or tips to moving long distance because it isn't going to be a cheap situation. She's trying to make the best choices maximizing the money and they give and obviously if it cost less than five thousand dollars then she's a winner yeah so here's here's the thing. I don't know if I actually have practical advice. I'm just GonNa tell you what I do. We're all about the impractical I look. I can't say here's you. You know if I had to do this again. I would so here's the thing if I'm moving. I got five grand. I'm not lugging and Shit. I'm hiring a a moving company and making them do most of the work. Well real quick before you answer how much the cost you to move to Colorado. It took like two stuff yeah zero dollars or excuse drove it over and okay so this is what I was saying. It's it's priceless. I don't know so I basically left everything in Jersey. I I had an entire. Condo I had furniture had all of that stuff. I had moved that stuff into my brother's house when I moved in with him and it it resided in his house and Stephon I moved to Colorado in a Honda civic coupe which means two doors instead of four and that anything we could fit in that car is is what we brought to Colorado so computers so basically my eye. AMAC SAT in the entire back seat of the coupe and that's most of the car rut socks Bryant. She had one she can only bring one of the two socks that she had had one and then so yeah. We had to protect the screen we we used her one teacher. She could bring the screen so NO I. I moved on pennies. Obviously I had to pay for gas and across the country tree. I drove my Honda civic across the country I would say that if I had to do that again and I had some furniture I'd probably rent a u haul truck of some sort and I would also drive so I would have somebody drive my car and then somebody would drive the U. Haul truck and I would just do it all one trip and then dropped the U-HAUL truck off at the local one in Kentucky so that's what I would do to make it cheap because yeah you could spend five grand to hire a van lines companies sort of thing to would you know get a tractor trailer and drive all your stuff down but I think the better move would be to do it. with like a you know buying sort of u-haul type of vehicle or renting your vehicle goal that you can drop off in a different location. That's the move I mean If you have to cars and you gotta get down I mean I would recommend commend. Maybe either you know getting one of your friends to come down with you or a family member to come down with you and then fly back because that's going to be a cheap flight for sure Yeah Yeah. Everyone drive a separate car. You do little caravan down. Dan Kentucky Senator Fun Road trip actually that's probably what I would do to make as cheap as possible. the other thing. I would do is sells shit like sell everything in my gaze as like you're starting a new life. You might have some pieces that you like but ultimately. It's probably GONNA be cheaper to you for you to get that stuff again. Down in Kentucky especially in Kentucky is supposed so like New York right so those are gonna be cheap and plus like a five hundred dollar couch just to bring it across State Lines Kentucky. It's probably not even worth earth. I would ask you how how much you love that couch. How much do you love that bed frame that you couldn't get that. I- Kia when you get down there you know what I mean. the cost you five hundred dollars to move a five hundred dollar couch sell it for fifty. Yeah get pizza for your friends yeah by new couch so. I love this idea that you mean one. You're going to make more money of this other location awesome you're you're. You're getting an allowance and it's cool that you get that extra. You know if you could save if you can move her a couple of thousand five thousand cool. I would hope that you would get that extra three thousand. I'm not sure that you would right. You're saying like you'd have the you might have to show receipts. Surely Yeah you know if you had to show her seats. I'd say will then use the five thousand dollars move. I'd say don't do don't lift a finger right but if if you get that extra money yeah you could do like a nice little u-haul truck box truck. Only is a box truck. Really I had a friend who moved from Indiana out to here and you know I it was just a box truck and his and his one car and two people drove it. I was at then you drop off the U-haul at the local plant. Wherever wherever it is so here's another piece of advice kind of unsolicited kind of nothing thing to do with financial finances you're moving to a different location? One of the first and best things that we ever did we moved out here was say yes to everything and memory. Tell me you're going to be working at a plant so you're gonNA meet some people but both your people yeah people. We said yes has to every single thing. Anyone invited us to still Kinda do it. You know we're still new still feel new here and now I have a pretty pretty solid core friend group which is which was like. I I made very quickly because of that mantra of only moved here was a say yes to everything and you know it makes you feel comfortable you get to you know you go out a lot. You get to see a bunch of things. It's just like. You know you're going to be at work. Someone's going to be like hey do you wanna go to a happy hour. Yes hey do you want to go to my friend's party. Starring yes you to say yes to everything because you're gonNa make friends very quickly that way and your experience the new city eleven seven very quickly and that helped us out tremendously so that's. I know it's unsolicited but I would say yeah we we moved out here. Super cheap the the one thing that we did do do though just to tell a story is I was very nervous about moving moving to Colorado because I've never for thirty something years. I lived in one fucking town like I and all all of a sudden I'm like I'm uprooting my life and my friends and my family. I'm leaving everybody yeah. You know so I oh and I have anxiety too so I thought I thought I was. GonNa move here and fucking lose it breakdown completely just like what did I just. Do you know so one of the tricks that I came up with for myself. Was We decided to move here with no apartment. We didn't have a place to live and the reason was we wanted to live out here and look around. I right we wanted to like Z. Even for you yeah well we knew that so we had lived out here for a month and kind of get the lay of the land but we we stayed in an AIRBNB for a month as kind of like a vacation sort of thing but but when we moved out here I decided to rent an AIRBNB for two months while we look for a place to live so we had time time to really kind of you know make a decision on where we wanted to be and and they have couches and all all furnished yeah it was fully furnished and then we found a house and then we slowly bought things over time through Kia and wayfair and show that cheap cheap furniture stuff and so yeah so. I was really nervous that like I would freak out because I'm like. We moved out there and we went into an apartment. We'd never saw before and it sucked. I would feel like I made the worst decision of my life. You know what I mean like imagine going to a new city and it's not the city's fault. It's actually the the apartment that you'd shows over the Internet. Imagine that's what makes you feel like Shit Right. That's a really good point and then you're not forced to move anything right first of all because you have two months and you could actually slowly acquire yeah so all that said is like. I think there's more to just financial situations by moving long distances. I think it's it's a mental thing as well and if you can use the money to sort of easier mentality especially moving across the country because you are leaving things that you're familiar with. Oh yeah you know so. I think it's important to use that money. Not just to you know obviously she did get your shit across the country or across state lines but to also feel good about your decision. That's my answer. I think that's an awesome idea and while you're telling the story I just pulled up a of airbnb in right around where where the plant is in Kentucky and you can say pretty baller places for like forty dollars a night. WHOA I mean obviously this guy is a good or bad way cheap. Yeah I was saying that if you do a monthly deal oh you get August county less and so and if and if your budget is you do say the Matt and he'd do two months. You're going to scratch five thousand dollars yeah. LE- sell your shits you even have more than five thousand dollars dollars and if that's part of the if they'll let us that money for that and that way you have time down in Kentucky to sort of like drive a round see the neighborhoods. Let's check an apartment complex like literally be there and do that kind of reconnaissance mission while staying in a place that super comfortable has all the amenities. It's really nice. It's it's not a hotel because that you know looking at one I it's it's modern industrial loft. It straight up a baller to the Max exposed brick. Obviously obviously someone famous lives here. It's fifty five dollars a night. That's when you when you talk to the to the seller or the you know whatever's doing the AIRBNB. You can talk welcome into a bulk deal for multiple nights. which is what we did yeah we had? I'll never forget that place to be honest like it was like one of the coolest nicest places we ever stayed in and it was great and I'm like I am grateful that I did it because for the first two months of living here my anxiety diety level was super low because I had anything about cleaning nope. It was so nice so nice such a nice place keun lovely. The helps yeah all right. Thank you Brianna for that question. I hope that helps many questions. Obviously you can email us. I'd be happy to pass it on me. I'll happy to give some advice if I have any so question number three. Let's talk about this all right. I recently got engaged and we'll be getting married next July the money that the money that I am I'm already thinking about how combining finances will work. I receive a paycheck check every week seventy two thousand five hundred dollars before taxes a week now that's gotta be yearly. I was like like wow yeah. Its receiver paycheck every week when my fiance owns his own successful landscaping business does very well at the beginning of two thousand nineteen he convert his business into an LLC and received a quote unquote paycheck every week however he really only pays himself enough to cover the mortgage every month every month for tax purposes and honestly he doesn't really have any personal expenses that he can't just write off his own business eating out utilities gas. All that gets paid the business business. What do you think yeah. That's like so what do you think is the best way for us to get some sort of savings spending plan. Does the business you to get on its own plan to all right. That's the question. I think there's multiple things don. There's yeah I for sure whereas so there's the saving or how do you distribute how has each person pay for each piece of living together yeah and then there's just the ultimate combining of money. Does it all become one yeah. I see you making what I could only say a scrooge mcduck face yeah. I mean that that's something very sour. ooh I I have our finances completely merged. We have then then you explain how you do it because I and then you explore blogging. You're married. I'm not raid and I don't know how you guys are and whatever and see you can explain that I worked at an investment bank before I met Laura and the name maybe alludes to more money than I was actually getting peixe on the tech side died but I made more than her and so when we were living together we what I what we did is we kind of like summed up the total amount of money that we made so let's just say hypothetically that was one hundred thousand a year even though it was nine close and then not say I made sixty thousand nine. She made forty thousand that means I would pay sixty percent of all of the things rent toilet paper. Whatever give or take you know hair's breadth things so that's that's how we approached splitting before we were married and we kept everything separate and then we got married be combined everything because my thought was if. I thought it wasn't going to work or I thought there would need to be some sort of exit strategy that I just wasn't going to. Do it like eight thousand up either in or not and so well before we got married. We were on the same page in terms of spending ending. Where wasn't my money in her money. We both it was like if it was twenty dollars or more we would probably talk about it and so when me combined it was never an issue of who is making water how much we had because we were already on the same page of spending. Is there a is there another reason financially to do that to combine to combine your thing. It's infinitely easier to manage and then what I've found and I don't know I I've thought about this a lot. Whether it's Lauren I in our finances or business type things whether it's like what we do together me New Matt It is always easier when everyone is working towards the same goal right and yeah like if I was to help you out with things but I had my own kind of reservations are needing to hold me things. I can't actually give me you get like calm. I view combining is greater than the sum of the parts in terms of the effort people putting towards things and then the opportunity of access to when you say combining are you. How are you technically combining. What does that mean so one checking checking account where all of the okay I mean and look I still have a checking account from before Laura Sauce checkout from you have your own separate things but all of our money flows into our joint account and our investment accounts are shared and we pretty much share access to all the things so yeah all right. I will tell you how I do it because I am. I've also thought a lot about this. I am not married but we are basically married in in terms of like common law. We live together. We do everything together. We're home protected your Mac. I mean that's that's love so we I'm very adamant about keeping things separate and I don't. It's not about trust. It's not about son about any of that. It's not about like you know. I just think I we're both very independent. People and we like to control our own finances. the most important part of that though the most important caveat to that is we are extreme communicators. We have a rule in our house. Were not allowed to be silent. Were not allowed to Brood or not allowed to be like Sulky without explaining in words to each other why we're feet were feeling that way so in our household yes we. I have my own business and staff. F- works for herself as well but does not make as much as I do so I get a quote unquote paycheck in. I don't have to say quote unquote because I literally get a paycheck for my company because I have an LLC but it's taxed as an S. Corp and so I use a payroll company Gusto you can go to list of moneymatters dot com slash. Gusto why you are feeling Jenner us have to know. What are we gift Card or some shit we go yeah? They go. I use though it's true and I give myself a paycheck so I have a paycheck and my business expenses are very very separate from my personal expense. Yes us and I don't know about you guys and Taylor I would say keep keep that shit separate. I it'd be real wary of bleeding those together because there are consequences that can occur when they bleed together. Well explain to don't allude. I'm OUTTA looting it. 'cause we have plenty of business expenses. Yeah we do keep separate due to here's the thing when it comes to business expenses. If it's not for the business I do do not use the business to pay for it and I'm I'm also we don't participate in tax fraud there we if things even even like if I go out to dinner and gone dinner staff and we're having date night yeah we've mentioned business. I'm not gonNA be like well. We mentioned business fucking runoff on Blah. I'm not doing that because God forbid audit and they're like. Why did you go to this four hundred dollar a plate restaurant that's ever happened but I don't want to be like wow? We talked about business. We're business friends. That's what you write on the back of the receipt. What you talked about yeah I I'm not doing it. I don't WanNa do it. I want to keep it separate because one when I do the books for business I WANNA make sure my business actually made money yeah. You know what I mean. If I'm bleeding it with my personal life then how do I really know so that's one thing I get a paycheck and Stephanie Communicate. because stuff doesn't make as much as I do. I pay more for our rent. Just like you said you do a sixty. You did a sixty forty split that was an arbitrary number. I don't answer skewed but same I go. We just literally just talked about loud. What is fair. What is fair that you pay. What is fair that I pay and understand that I do make more. I'm not trying to strap over cash. Josh how what about the car we put the car. How does that what's fair there. She uses it more than I do so we decided to do fifty fifty on that one. What about groceries who's going shopping sometimes because I work at home this complicated and contentious but here's the thing again? This is all about communications occasions. We had a we had a little bit of Hey. I'm going shopping more often. You like I'm going to the grocery store often you because you're working during the day. I WANNA get food food. I'm going to go. I have no problem go. She says I have no problem going food shopping. The problem is that I am paying for it. When I go what I I did was I got my credit card and I made her an authorized user and so she has her own credit card so every other trip it gets put on my account and so she so and we keep an eye on it. You know this week was heard her turn next week is my turn in social social just flip out the credit card when it's my turn and use the other credit card when it's her turn and that's how we split it. obviously we're not married so I think that's the you know we can do join accounts but it's I just thought at this point. It's probably not worth for us to do and since I'm saving saving a lot more. She could make her a you know she could add to a account but I'd rather just them. Oh me and then I'll add it led to keep things separately for ease I even I will I will defend my right to have separate finances forever Um and just figure out a way to work together as a couple who communicates well to on financial situations. Those things are not not kept quiet in our house. We also the way what we both come from financial background so we understand that right. You're both fiscally smart Martin. I think the operative word is just the communication piece really is whether it's together or separate in really lives and dies by by the communication that and that's that's like that's really it for us. I don't want I don't want another credit card. I don't want another checking account card just because we need to combine our finances dances and another account that I had to move money into it just feels cumbersome to me. It's enough yeah so I. I think that's two different ways to go about it I. I don't know if that's any specific like definitive answer but I think there's two sides of the coin decide. What is best for you and your cup in your relationship cool cool cool. Take a break yeah all right well. We're gonNA take a break. We have two more questions to answer so we'll be right back. hiring could be a slow process cafe Torres. 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Read Reviews Check Project Cost Guide and book appointments go to Homeadvisor DOT COM or download the free homeadvisor APP to start your next project and we're back all right so question number four. I would like to learn how to get away from living check to check paycheck to paycheck baby. I'm a teacher. My wife stays at home with our toddler. There's never enough money. We've made the responsible choice to not have another child due to money being an issue every week so mortgage school loans car payments etc at all leaves us with the inability to save. We have no savings which is a scary place place to be all of the financial advisors lead with what to invest in so how do I create five thousand dollars to have the capital to actually need a financial advisor. Also he's alluding to is. They won't even talk to him. If he has no money to. sounds it. It should be noted. We have poor credit and no longer use credit cards. cash-in-hand goes quickly okay first of all You don't need a financial adviser. No you're listening. You're listening to this podcast. They're gonNA charge you most of the ones especially the ones that won't take you on their data percentage your stuff. That's yeah bad news. Here's the thing I was just home. New Jersey. I was has ham New Jersey as heat and allow hoagie and I I was talking to a body and taught about emergency funds. You know saving two thousand bucks. Everyone just talked to you about money our well no no no actually yes yes. That's exactly what everyone talked about. I thought I thought I was being nice because they know people tech slower. Ask Your husband big good. What should I invest in so I so a thousand bucks ranch's only cadillac only hemp farms so the thing was he. He was like I go you need you need two thousand dollars in savings account just a fucking emergency fund. He's like I can't do that. Ms Impossible like I go is it is it my thought was. Yes you hearing me my words saying saying Hey Geoffrey. You need five thousand dollars so that you can get a financial adviser. You hear me say that and what that that says to your brain is. I don't have five thousand dollars like five thousand dollars is one big chunk of Fuckin- money right yes. It's how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time Matt. Thank you Andrew the idea that yes yes. I understand that you don't have a thousand dollars to put emergency fund. We none of us do and it's so easy to be stressed out by that thought alone own because it feels so big an all-day shis and like wear because we're living paycheck to paycheck fine I get it. Here's what you're gonNA and do you know if this is the you're explaining in such a great way because the first thing I did when I read this question was take five thousand divided divided by three sixty five and I want to know it's fourteen dollars less than fourteen dollars a day there. You go but but you're explaining it. Here's the thing yes look time and money. Are they go hand in hand. You're making a paycheck every week so you're getting this money every single week now okay. You have all these bills like. I'm glad you don't have credit card debt. That's awesome. You have poor credit. That will get fixed because now you you're no longer using credit cards good first step. Even if you had credit card debt right now you chop those bad boys up you. Don't use them their diet their dad to you until you pay off the credit card debt I'm assuming me you have debt because you say you have four credits. I'm assuming there's some debt there. You have obviously student loans or mortgage. Mortgage is so plenty of debt and there's a but I'm saying like bad debt. Meaning credit card debt was not mentioned but okay you had to take twenty five bucks a week right and pay yourself first. I don't care yeah. It's you know what that might mean deleting something something out of. Your Life One thing Hulu Netflix account. Do you have a I don't know. Can you lower some. I'm kind of your your your Internet Bill. Can you what can you do. There's here's something you can do. I this is the approach approach but at least from my personality type I might questions. It'd be like okay matlock. That's a whole list of things which which one I don't use Hulu blue like what else all right fine. You're right you're right. I think that the real real life changing thing that you can do is go to a mint dot com sign up it is free forever free forever you link your accounts at automatically pulls in all the money you spend end and it tells you this is how much you spend on restaurants is how much you spend on debt payments. Whatever and once you can see the totality of we are spending goes. Can you then only know what you can cut because I can give you an alternative. I the GO-TO list of money matters dot com slash personal capital so I I my friends were sitting there and I was having this conversation with barely at night and it was about you know we don't have. We don't have a pot to piss in. We don't like we're living paycheck to paycheck money comes in. Where does it go all that kind of stuff. where do you. Where am I going to get a thousand dollars for my Emergency Fund like impossible. Okay I said to them travel across the country during their friends and this is the question which I like yeah you know 'cause. I WANNA BE HELPFUL SO I. I said you need to make a spreadsheet. I know I know spreadsheets are awful but really all it is is a list. I'm not asking needed like put fucking formulas. N I'm telling you to just make a list make every single thing you have to. I think the reason why I'm I'm saying not mint is because you need to write it. You need to like physically type electric bill seven fifty a month and like oh God he'll eat a feel the list grow. I I dig this man and then you know sorry well. I'm just saying then you look at it all and go and do is. I'm not asking you to make a full spreadsheet. I'm telling you to write down. All your monthly expenses loose leaf piece the paper right dude yeah yeah. Does it have to be much now. Doesn't you sent this into Matt Juvenile. Take a screen shot of it. Send it in. What do you think match about yeah. He's right Joe five hundred dollars a month at ESPN. Are you seri-. Are you serious yeah. I'm like cut there's you you can get that for you know but there is if you see it all on one page. All you have to do is cross off one thing that's it. That's all Matt in cross off something something big and then whatever money you just crossed off. You're going to take that and you're going to automate that money out of your checking account and into a savings account you can use betterment now. They have a savings account that automatically will pull X. amount of our address for that Matt it is listed moneymatters dot com slash the betterment and you can pull money immediately this account and within months you will have your thousand five thousand whatever that's the thing you want to use the computers for what they're good at automating stupid things like pulling your savings out so you don't accidentally by the third TV this month exactly and it's not even like that. It's really this recurring revenue life that we live in bills and and streaming services and whatever like it he can really add up really just it's it's kind of the things the Laura I did where are spending was getting about control and we you know use meant and there's only so much that like you can glean from these things and so we lovingly coined this the refrigerator method where we taped a piece of paper to the refrigerator we determined how much money we think we should. Mac spend on something and everytime we went to the supermarket to CVs vs to a restaurant whatever spend money and we hand wrote it as a thing on there and at the end of this weekly yeah and the end of the week told it up and we saw above or below and if we're above the next week we spend less yeah and just being super ultra conscious about everything. I'll end it with this phrase. What gets measured gets managed. remember that phrase. All you have to do is step on the scale every morning and be like. I'm fat cause that you're GonNa make better choices that day. All you have to do and it's tough because I don't I wanNA step on a Goddamn scale but you write down your shit you go. You're GonNa make a better choice that day. You're going to make a better choice that week. You're GonNa make a better choice that month and over time that will add up and you will have that savings you will have that five thousand dollars and by that time you're going to be so financially savvy you. You're not going to need a financial advisor instead. You could take that money and invest it into something. That's very easy for yourself and I got one piece to add to that. I had had the final word now. You know how how do you get yourself on the scale. You put it in front of the area that you're going to be so you mentioned things you weigh yourself but that is between you and the scale and you obviously know. I'm a little overweight but I'm still having the cookie and the best way to account for that that you have to involve other people and so- category Roach aways help yes if you wrote your weight on the Fridge. Now your wife or kids or whatever they can chastise asked. Is You for being fat and even better but you know what like sometimes the support like text it out to your family we. We have a community in on facebook. You could put this stuff in there and share it so that people can hold you accountable yeah because if you if you're not able to do it yourself. It's not because you're not good enough. You just need a little help. Honestly it's numbers in psychology yeah. It's really not it's not someone's fault. It's just like it's our built and you have to get into the habit of just making the right decisions yeah so Jeffrey. I hope that helped appreciate the question. Obviously we could talk about that topic all all day so we're. GonNa move on to question number five wrap things up. This one is about capital gains so you ready while I think there's a bonus question. There is a bonus question but we're not getting to it today. We're going to push it off all right because we are. We are running. Time is clock's ticking all right. This is from fared so the name yeah all right for Reid need for it. I would say that sounds more all right. I'll yeah I'm sorry if I mispronounced her name. I was about to start buying gold. ETF CBS for my portfolio but then I found out there's a twenty eight percent tax on its capital gains once it sold does that mean. I am not supposed to sell it until I retire. Retire slash become financially independent when creating a portfolio with golden butterfly or the AWA portfolio. Am I supposed to sell parts of it. Throughout its life cycle or do I just buy at a constant rate averaging gains and losses until I retire sash become financially independent and I am loving. I am lobbing this over to you by friend. Okay so I I just WanNa say I wanNA give some rough numbers and then and dig into it so we did the Golden Butterfly episode we talked about Radio's all-weather fund our folios up you could awa all weather yeah and Laura and I started doing it as well pretty much at that time and and I believe the tickers are in the show notes Article and so I could tell you then this was about March of twenty nine thousand nine hundred and right now we they are but a day or two way from September the vanguard total stock market funds for my investments in its twenty percent I've made three point point six percent in terms of gains on the short term bonds three point seven one percents but my G. L. D. Ticker the SP Dr Gold Trust. We've made twenty three point three four percent on that since March of this year and the long-term Bond Fund just just about the same amount and so first of all like it is super forming now in that's just a now thing thing the purpose of view this allocation is that like for example it has the vanguard and guard smallcap fund in there. I've lost five percent on that part of it. It's this holistic pie that when things do bad others do good red and gold is just a cornerstone. It's a key piece of the balance where you know I wish there was another another thing that would be a great replacement for this but there isn't and so while we made three whatever percent of the total stock market and that may change changed drastically and we've lost other stuff we far outweighed it in gains in some of the more conservative things like gold and so yes there's a twenty eight percent tax but there is only a twenty percent tax when you sell it and I know a lot of people invest like we literally got a personal personal family question the other day. Hey I need to put this money someplace for a year and my answer is don't invest rights because savings account yeah like if we're talking about less than three years at a specific date. It's stupid. You're trying to time the market. Investing is a long term and ideally you will do the best I if it is like infinite term so when I invest money literally actually plan on never using it again and sometimes we do use if the opportunity arises but the idea of investing in the Golden Butterfly is not to wait three years and then buy a house. It's for thirty years. Here's when you retire and then dear God. It's worth a lot and the taxes on the gold portion not a big deal as compared to all the other things right right right yeah so twenty percent is high for gold but you're not investing one hundred percent and gold right so yeah you're. GonNa take four percent and yeah that that the goal is going to be a little bit higher taxes but here's the thing here's when you make a gain on it dude. Here's what I say about taxes. In general I understand taxes. Everyone fucking hates them and wants them to go away and just thinks how do I avoid them. There's a mindset of like Americans like how do I avoid paying the government government for Shit. You're not yet your you live in this country. We need roads. I know you could be libertarian out there and think that L. none of the Shit's GonNa road. So why am I even paying it. The truth is is like you live here. You pay the taxes. If you're spending all your time you know unless you're going to sit there and be a tax lawyer and learn tax law dodge all the taxes like cool. Did you make any money when you learn all that shit because meanwhile there's a bunch of people out there making a ton of money money and they can afford enough lawyers to do all this shit for them like Amazon right. You're not Amazon your guy. You're a person you're just a dude. You're late. You're sitting there. You're one person and I'd rather spend my time figuring out how to make more money than figure out how to pay less taxes book book there. There is actually an answer to this question. How do you pay less taxes on gold. You could actually pay no taxes on alder gains in gold stick it in a Roth. IRA and Ethan you invest in gold it triples and value whatever and then you put it out of the Roth. IRA and you pay zero dollars in taxes and so I think the the question you're you're giving me a weird face. Yeah what do you mean. We literally talked about this last week with a guest but I could explain it to you yeah but if you're pulling it out you pay taxes on your income. I then it goes into a roth. IRA and grows tax tax free forever but you you put that money in pretexts but you say you can just roll it over into a Roth and never pay tax. I I'm investing in it outside of an IRA. I do not qualify defy for an IRA personally Sam but if I did it would be in a Roth Ira and then it doesn't matter what it's invested in how much it grows rose when I eventually pull the money out when I retire whatever you pay no taxes when you pull off a Roth IRA because you put it in you already. Pay The taxes on it when you put it in as is income right which you've already pay taxes on that anyways right everything you're investing except for something pre-tax right and so I think the point is not to it gets so focused on this narrow thing like the taxes on gold but look at broader tax advantage things like investing in real estate. The reason why it's really appealing is Knox at super detail oriented and a pain in the ass and Kinda annoying to find an acquirer properties. It's because it's essentially lia tax free investment. If you're doing it well and so you know. We have a lot of awesome episodes. IRA's and you should listen to that but if you want to avoid the goal tax do the Golden Butterfly in an IRA. That's it who got to Chug this beer. You're now if you missed anything. Of course we'll ever think in the show notes and you can either check your preferred podcast APP or visit with somebody matters dot com slash show and you can subscribe wherever you normally listen to podcasts and if you do please tell your friends about us and point them to your favorite episodes but I think that really helps them mm to really understand like oh cool. This is the show it's very interesting topic. You know your friends better than we you know your friends pointing to something you think they'll like and hopefully the become a subscriber as well and if you have any questions or topics you want us to discuss on the show. If you WANNA have your question featured in an episode five questions please email us the money matters at g mail dot com and of course all the tools and resources that we definitely mentioned on this show are available at moneymatters dot com slash toolbox doc later and later dude. Please tell your friends about this show.

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190: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple

The Psychology Podcast

1:04:12 hr | 1 year ago

190: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple

"Welcome to the psychology. Podcast where we give you insights into the mind. Brain behavior entry. Tiffany I'm Dr Scott Barry Kaufman. Who and in each episode I have a conversation with guest he will stimulate your mind and give you a greater understanding of yourself others and the world live. Hopefully we'll also provide a glimpse into human possibility. Thanks for listening and enjoy the podcast today. It's great to have Dr Seth Gil. Han on the podcast. Dr Gill. Han is a licensed psychologist. Who has written and lectured nationally and internationally on cognitive behavioral therapy in the role of the brain in psychiatric conditions. His books include the CBT deck mindful year. Three hundred sixty five ways to find connection in the sacred in everyday life cognitive behavioral therapy made simple and retrain your brain cognitive behavioral therapy in seven weeks. Dr Gill also blogs for psychology today and hosts the weekly think act be podcast which features a wide range of conversations about living more fully. Here's a clinical practice in ardmore Pennsylvania who I was born and raised providing treatment to adults with insomnia. Ocd anxiety depression and related conditions. Find Him on the web at Seth Gill Hand Dot Com. Hey Seth so great to chat with you today. Well thanks for having me Scott. I'm looking forward to this. I am so sake. I I'm expecting you to cure me of every one of those ailments by the end of this podcast chat as well as all the listeners. Want to figure out what to do with the rest of our time after we do that. Yeah what do you do? When like you're living your life fully and then what do you do after that? Maybe we'll get into some of that today because I think I just jumped right into the deep end my my my feeling of CVT has lots of offer no matter where we find ourselves in the depths of despair or things are going pretty. Well good. Well I can't wait to get your philosophy here. Everything from your perspective today. I know it will be very enlightening to To our listeners. As well as as well as to me. So let's start with something that I thought was interesting. I read about you that you started in academia. I think you're an assistant. Professor Pen cracked me. If I'm wrong you had some sort of awakening. Could you please talk about what that what that awakening was? Yeah yeah so I I I guess what you know what really drew me to. Psychology was wanting to to be a therapist to those my initial entry inside. Did A counseling program for a couple years fully intending to Due to your program and then and then treat people clinically. But I really got pulled into the science of the brain and makes -iety and depression especially cognitive neuroscience so I decided I wanted to pursue a PhD understanding of the brain and of how these treatments especially cognitive behavioral. Therapy actually work. Why is that? They're so effective so I really went down that road for. Gosh I guess a decade or more. I guess from two thousand one or so and I started my doctoral program at Penn until two thousand twelve when I left my faculty position at Penn to start a private practice in to do full-time teaching for a while so I guess I I. I still remember. I think I was. I was riding the bus from. My internship backed my classes at George Washington University around two thousand or so and Iran American Psychological Association What's their what's their main. Emerge Heikkala. Gist yes yes. As American psychologist article about it was by Richie Davidson he was. He was receiving some by some award and writing a summary of his research. I was totally pulled into that. Added felt so much excitement right on the brink of of understanding exactly how the brain works and being able to use that knowledge to develop better treatments and over the course of my graduate career. I my my feeling came to be that. That was not the case that the the work I was doing you know. With with brain scanners and try to understand how genetics affects brain activity were not translatable into clinical treatments. They weren't making treatments better. They might understand the might. Help us to correlate it changes in the brain with assertain treatments for example. He wasn't going to change what I did with someone clinically to understand was going on in the brain and we certainly didn't know what was happening individuals brains. These were group based studies group-based differences. So so he was kind of A. I don't know if I had a but I did have one kind of pivoting at the end of a Yoga Class. Kind of cliches. One does as usually happens so lying there and Chevanton at the end of the class and I it just came to me in an instant like I can't stay in this position. This is in my faculty position a panel not the yoga position. I could have stayed. I thought you were saying you can stay in the downward facing Yoga Dog Dog Pos. The rest of my life could've stayed in Boston for a lot longer k. Is Getting out meant taking share. I'm going to work hung out there. But but yeah. I can't stay in this. This faculty position in right behind that realization was recognition. That's exactly right. Of course. Why did I ever think that I could? This was the right fit because another I can keep going on. I WANNA I wanNA give you a chance to jump in here but no I I WANNA hear this. It was a it was a gradual unfolding. I mean another. I guess moment that stood out was I head gone to classical music concerts for years. Because you don't want kids and then just didn't really stopping part of our lives and then I went to one in suburban Maryland with my inlaws one night and when the violence soloist was was playing What an amazing thing of beauty that is to create and I guess in my myself focused way then thought what kind of beauty I added to the world and I thought it's certainly not the the research that I've done. It's not adding lines to my CV four publications and book chapters and I was kind of drawing a blank but then what came to kind of this. I'm going to date myself. But but kind of a ROLODEX OF FACES OF PEOPLE. I've worked with through a awful traumas that they had survived and treated him for. Ptsd in in. I thought there was any anything anything of actual value that I've done in this world. It's been in that intimate connection of of working with people that the healing work of therapy and being witness to the to to their To their recovery and so that was another point. I was like all right. This is not. I'm not living my life though in a way that feels most true too. I am will. Yeah it sounds like you're a clinician through and through not a research academic solely or even at all yes. Yeah yeah that's exactly right and I think I'm glad I had that experience that I have the background in science and I think everything probably a lot of people can relate to this win when you're doing something at it's going pretty well. People are telling you. Oh you know this is great. This is exciting. You know you should have a real future here. You can keep doing this. It's real easy to keep doing that even if there's a part of us that saying like sure this is my destiny right. Yeah and our destinies can change our lives. Yes that's right it just about as soon as I feel like I've yes this is it. Then yeah things things start to shift so now you did your graduate work was it with Rob de rubies. Or was that your post doc. I actually I worked with ROB Clinically for three years. I did three cognitive cognitive therapy practicum with him and he was on my dissertation committee and Then I was part of his lab for my whole time. They're sort of a sit in on the meetings but we never actually did any research together. Well I suspect that that's how Beck knows you. Yes he's mentioned you a couple times and will fan of yours. It goes in both directions in and I mean more than fan he He is the description of cognitive therapy. Was what drew me to see? Bt to begin with I and again these moments that stand out remember in the Gilman Library at George Washington University late at night reading an article that he'd written an interview where he described this approach that sounded to me so intuitive and in something that So respectful of of person. You know there weren't some secrets here. Esoteric knowledge that the therapist guarded but but these basic principles that have been around for thousands of years. Anyone could understand and apply in their own life. And so so. Yeah I've been. I've been a fan of his really from that moment. And in so much of what I mean so much of the book as such nice things about Is it's based on his work. Yeah for sure but you do you. Do you know you extended in some meaningful directions. Not to sell yourself short and I made contact with it. I'm paying back cognitive. Behavioral therapy meets simple. That's the book I'm talking about in particular that he recommended. We're having lunch with some other colleagues and stuff and we're thinking how that should be a first year required reading for all incoming college students actually so there was a broader discussion about the use of that book. But then I checked out that book and I read it and I just it was so well so well put together all these different elements one element. I noticed is a common theme in that in that book as well as in your work is what some call maybe the third wave of or mindful CBT. Yeah I saw that is. I really liked that add on. I'm a big fan of that on and I was wondering if you could talk a lot about that. And what's the first and second? We've yes yeah love to. I should mention to the the COG neuroscience work that ended up doing hen. I was working closely with Dr Martha. Farah she she was my supervisor. Amazing yes has she is she is so. I mean she. She's done that that kind of work. And then obviously start out in visual work and now doing neuro ethics and really has defined multiple fields within within cognitive neuroscience. So you know. It's it's interesting because I came to see bt in mindfulness in that order initially with cognitive therapy working with rob and really focusing on on how our thoughts affect our behavior our feelings in and how central our interpretations of events are to do we experience reality and into our wellbeing into out of the conditions that people coming to therapy for like anxiety and depression. So I was really focused on cognitive therapy. And then I I did a lot of work in anxiety and in really got immersed in behavior therapy so more of an emphasis on a our our. Our thoughts and our feelings are often driven by our behavior so other these intimate connections among thoughts feelings and behaviors and faced in our fears on the most effective ways. Not only to decrease the fear but to change our thinking exterior perverse enjoyment out of facing my fears. Is that right? Yeah I feel like at this point now I just go right towards it and then like it makes me feel like overcome. Something like big. Yes yeah yeah and when we decide to do that it's there's kind of a failures. Nothing else that can stop us. Determine that I'm just GONNA face my fear than what else is there really so well said very also appreciate that be are there is. There is something I mean there are. There are some studies showing that if you if you change we focus on changing behavior and then you compare that to focus and changing thoughts about things that people are afraid of Saudis. Find you actually get more more change. In thoughts. People have changed their behavior versus trying to directly. Change their thoughts. I love it. I love that. I love that about your book. You talk about behavioral activation. I think that's what you're talking about right now as a theme as well as I mean really like your book has a lot of add ons get into to the standard model you level up. I everyone just wanted to take a quick break and talk about my new book. That's coming out April seventeenth. It's called transcend the new science of self actualization really excited to present this book to you all at it represents the culmination of many many years of hard work and And synthesis what. I've been what I've done in this book is I've taken Maslow's classic hierarchy of needs and I have revised it for the twenty first century. Try to bring back humanistic psychology. I think that the field of humanistic psychology in the fifties and sixties really got a lot right about humanity and the creative abilities of humans as well as the humanitarian and spiritual possibilities. Really hoping this book can Present a vision of humanity that transcends us all and helps us connect deeper with each other but also help us reach our greatest potential individually and collectively. So if you want to check out this book you can actually pre-order it right now and Amazon as well as other. There's independent bookstores. I think you can pre-order it from and and then on April seventh starting April seventh that should be in bookstores. Lotta people in wondering throughout the years how they can support me. And the psychology podcast. And here's the time you know you're always welcome to contribute money to the podcast helps support your longtime listener or even short time listener. You WanNa not always support the podcast but dive deeper into one of the concepts and ideas. We talk about constantly on the show. This is a great way to do that by buying this book. So please check the book out and let me know what you think. The experts the aspects of the sort of the mindful combination with the behavioral activation. Now that's unique combination. I thought because so much of the CBT's talked about big mindful to your car. You're thinking errors and you talk about the thinking errors but sometimes changing your behaviors. I will automatically change the like. The figures can automatically be. Maybe even quiet. Would you say? That's that's right. Oh yes definitely definitely yes and I. I came to mindfulness third while I was doing. That is the position the anxiety and trauma treatment center at Penn and it initially. I thought of it as as you know. There's another tool it's It's you know as you said. GonNa add on to if the cognitive work isn't as applicable or as effective for conditioner for a particular person or if you like with generalized anxiety. It's mostly about worry. It's not so much about avoidance in touch obvious way as it would be something like a phobia so I found it helpful there but I also from personal practice with it found that for myself clinically. I was selling short. What the what. Mindfulness practice really is really has to offer it. It felt like it was a kind of like a hack. I here's A. Here's something else to putting your toolbox but but I think It can be a lot deeper than that. And so I've even since the he teammates simple book. I've I've been thinking more about. I mean because this mindfulness is considered the third wave of CBT. But I kind of treated as like the third wheel of CBT LIKE. Here's his extra thing if needed but I started think of it more as what I but I'm aiming for is more of a mindfulness centered. Cbt Dead that mindfulness. And it's not even trying to draw it out Like the triangle thoughts feelings and behaviors thinking of behavioral and mindfulness. But it didn't fit the way the way I was working with it end. Would it seems to me to be is actually. The cognitive behavioral are happening within the context of mindful awareness. In so anything that we're doing. I am any kind of cognitive or behavioral intervention or just being present ourselves being with someone in. Therapy is enriched by approaching it from a point of mindfulness from a deeply connected place to our our disagree. Our DEGA kind of connection I think of mindfulness is just really coming into connection with the truth of who each of us is that description of mindfulness. I. I don't think I heard you say what the first and second waiver explicitly. Oh right Oh sorry. Yeah so the. So the First Wave Program starring the fiftieth or so it was behavioral therapy and then followed in the sixty s especially with with Aaron Beck's work and also with our Ellis and others Wisconsin therapy and then those who were were integrated as both sides realized that they were closely connected like when I learned what was called cognitive therapy. The the first real intervention was behavior monitoring activity monitoring and and scheduling activities into the person's Day. Which is a pretty straight behavioral intervention. So the so the treatments behavioral and cognitive therapies were already so closely linked as Demi. It became at least in hindsight to me coming later. It seemed inevitable that they would be joined into cognitive behavioral therapy. Absolutely so you have developed this approach. Think Act be now. It should act. Think be based on what we just talked about his time to get that wrong. The order the order there. Well it's funny because it does. It's too bad our brains can't can't take them all in instantaneously simultaneously you know because they are That's not a sequence is not a sequence. Nobody does give that impression that I think and then you act right and then you can be people because we will all these these acronyms and things people they expect it to be sequential. That's right yeah maybe should be think act be integrated like dot dot. Does something like synthesized? You could call it tab. Maybe that we abbreviate them. They come together quickly but but yeah yeah and chronologically chronologically for me. I guess he was. Think Act B but but really I think where I I just put. Its go their way because of the way that it sounded on my ear. Cool while I'm talking about the three components we haven't talked so much about the think once. Or maybe we should talk about that. If you're okay with that you know what are some of the core beliefs? That might beginning our way. What is what is a core belief. Anyway what does that mean right? Yeah Yeah So. We don't usually realize it but we're telling yourself stories all the time stories about and what's What we think is our reality so you have this conversation on thinking Scotts board but what I'm saying right now just think like that's an observation. I've made mets not true. I could be mistaken and you could tell me that and I doubt that I could think Scott's trying to hurt my feelings right we can write and at and and again misinterpret that as something like. Oh Yeah Scott's wearing a blue sweater. He doesn't like me like these are just hair to do that. I do yes yes care. It does well with your sweater thank you. That's that I was going for Ya. Yeah I is it new the blue hair. Yeah Yeah I'm trying to live my most self actualized life these days and in trying to enable others inspire others have their most self actualize life so very pool. Why not thought of was on my my hair blue but I don't know where my scalp blue as anyone and would that be creative. I don't know rebrand myself think. Act Blue Blue Scalp or you die your beard blue eyed children. Yeah Yeah Harry's to go somewhere but yeah yeah we we. We interpret these these things that were telling ourselves mistake them for reality we get caught up in them and so for for in my work the way I approach it so much of cognitive therapy released just noticing. There were telling herself stories just noticing. Not even I mean it's we we can get into it really kind of being explicit about what some of the alternative explanations are example would be I'm working on a book and I'm thinking myself like this is not gonNA turn out. Well this is. I'm never going to get this. Written Dab becomes a story and if I recognize like oh I'm telling myself this story now then I have a chance to question it like okay. All right we'll maybe that's not true. Maybe there's another story that's true. I don't have to convince myself I don't have to to kind of hold myself down till I say. Merson say okay. I believe I believe it's going to be great. It's going to be bestseller everybody's GonNa love it onto brainwash myself in a triumph. Believe something that if I'm just not there but just recognizing oh wow. I'm really having a story now about I'm not going to be successful. That's all right. That's that's a narrative instead of your belief. Is that a core belief so it could be? It could be could underlie. That's so core. Belief is when you have a bunch of thoughts that all kind of lead to the same place like ibooks not gonNA be well received. Nobody's GonNa like my podcast not going to be able to to help my my therapy clients. Then those are all. They're probably coming from the same root as they're all kind of shoots that are coming for something deeper which is about like. I'm not going to be effective in the world or I'm not going to be good at what I do. And maybe there's something deeper than that like. I am something about me. That's not adequate. That often underlies a lot of it kind of pervasive sense. I'm just no good. That's that's really I do. Find that really heartbreaking. You know when when when STU even students come to my office hours with these sorts of things and I don't think there's anyone who on this earth where that's true or their tally of there being is inadequate like I don't think that empirically objectively that would could be the case? No no I agree with you. Scott I think heartbreaking exactly the the right word for it because it is it is so far from. What's true in yet? Such a common belief that we get so disconnected from. What's true about us? So we believe the opposite of what is true that we have no worth. I is the fact that I mean. If the way I it in broader terms is the the universe makes space for us and I don't think it would if there there were zero value to our existence. Yeah I think that's a really a great way to put it. What if based on someone's prior history of evidence though they do have evidence for something negative? You know May Be over generalizing such as like which is one of the cognitive thinking errors. That you talk about is over generalization exaggerating things. But let's say you are type person your whole early life you got signals from people that you approached that you thought were attractive. They rejected you. And so you have evidence that you're not attractive to whoever the kind of people whether you're a woman trying to approach men or your man women or men men women women or whatever other you know. Turtles Hurdle whatever one included be inclusive of everyone? But what what what do you do if you have that evidence you know where because you know part of it is like look at the evidence tally one side. But what if like the evidence is overwhelming that you are? Now what do you you know? I mean what does that? What do you do with that right? Well this is. This is what I appreciate about. C. B. T. Is At? It's not just power positive thinking stuff. I WanNa make that point. Yeah yes yeah because people are smarter than that you know we see through that so it's not about yourself the opposite so if he's a loser no I'm amazing because people don't they don't buy that for very long because then if something comes along it's fragile is then if anything happens that discontinuance that's in. They said I was wrong. I'm a complete loser right so this is where I think the I mean. We're we're mindfulness. Meets cognitive therapy I think is so powerful is that we will have to deny it's true we can. We can open to all of it could open to all right I am. Let's say I'm approaching brahmanic part potential romantic partners in a certain way. And I'm getting I keep getting a similar type of rejection so I could say well in positive thinking something like well. I'm amazing and they just don't appreciate me is to find someone who appreciates me. Maybe that's true but it could also be that something about the person's approach like maybe it's useful feedback or something person Kendall. That's yeah you can learn from it. So it's the answer is either win a. I love that. Either we change our behavior or worry. Change our thoughts but sometimes the thoughts are accurate. And then we don't Wanna I never want to be in the position as a therapist trying to convince someone something that isn't true if it is true and if it's useful information that framing you just said it just totally answering my question that was. That was so great. Yeah also I think a part of that has also taken responsibility. I think that Mwana therapy is is about taking responsibility. Irving y'all wonderful book on existential psychotherapy one of my favorite books. And he found that the top two factors that were most effective in therapy psychotherapy. The first one was accepting parts of unknown parts of yourself then maybe recorded off and accept fully accepting them and the second one was filling greater sense of responsibility over actions that take ownership over things and I think that that it seems like that's important in this situation. It'd be very easy to blame it on others. Say like you know the expression haters going to hate. I never really liked that expression. I don't know if that's a healthy. Psychological mindset every single time someone criticises. You go here's going. Hey I mean. Sometimes maybe she'd be like what what what can i. If enough people you know who is true but but doesn't mean that there isn't something useful I can get from it and to be a better person. Yes yeah I agree completely. Scott there is a I think a cheap form of self love I think in some areas you fine which kind of the the first part what you're describing of the heat is GonNa hate and and it's there's nothing about you that you have to change your your perfect exactly where you are. I think we we can be perfect in a sense and yet slow things that we want to work on and I think real self love and self compassion is being able to open to exactly who we are even if there are parts of ourselves that we WANNA change. They're not happy about. How could he be perfect and yet still things to change? How does that logically go together? I mean the the best that I've I've heard it put as kind of like an acorn where you an Acorn is not complete in the sense of it has a lot of growing to do and yet it's it's perfect like an acorn like what a thing of beauty all. I see a senior thing. But it's not gonNA stay in a corner grow. It'll be a sapling it'll be a perfect little sapling but it can't stay a sapling has to has to keep growing and changing. She can still be beautiful and still need to change. Yes maybe beautiful is a better a better word for me. I guess because the feilding perfect I'd be like I'm done. Don't you dare chains because you can make yourself worse? Yeah Yeah Yeah. If I touched anything it why would mess with perfection? I guess it depends on what we mean by you because I think of you I think of that kind of incorruptible part of what I see as each of us the deeper part of us. That's our spirit that is untouched an untainted undimmed by anything we can do or experience. I see I love this spiritual undertones of of your language your poetic language it. I like it speaks to my poetic sensibility in so I resonate with it a lot. You mentioned you have Uber. Section Yearbook on cycling. The puck in cycling. The puck means yes. I'd love to hear that came directly from robbed. Aruba's so he was. He's talking about with this particular client we were. We had group supervision we watch videotapes of the training therapy cases. We were doing as As graduate students working under him and end this I forget exactly the details of the case but but there was this idea that that actually may have been a training tape of watching rob do therapy where he's working with with his patient and and kept kind of gently bringing this idea up in response with this person was saying and you'd see it would kind of it wouldn't it wouldn't quite take like the personal hear it but it wouldn't really land into the. The metaphor comes from hockey which. I don't really watch hockey. But but the ideas you know. You're you're passing the puck around waiting for an opening cycled around waiting for something to to materialize. Just you don't hold onto the puck right. You have to have to keep it moving and so the conversations moving in in the therapy room and comes back around to. Here's another -nother pass alright. That one didn't quite take all right on top of things we come back to it and then in the session finally landed and you see this kind of this moment in in there's an opening in. I think that's true. For All of times were more receptive to things than other times in total. We have heard it in fifty times but the fifty first like Oh yeah. I knew that was true but now I really know it now I feel it. I resonate with that so much. It's so true so true. My mom has always said that about me. She's like you yourself. Stubborn won't listen until you're ready to listen and she's not wrong. You know. Yeah I think that's true for all of us. I think will thank you for that and I think there's is there I mean there's the right time for these things to land in because we have our own our understanding of of things like there was somebody say there's this idea of being a spiritual being having a a a human experience that her that a bunch of times and it's Kinda like yeah I mean I I don't disagree with that necessarily but then something something clicked in that that actually advocate. It's hard to hard to describe as something that seemed seems already to be true becomes more true but that that's how it feels. It feels like it becomes deeply deeply true. Maybe it connects with something A. We weren't we weren't ready to receive until that moment where that's very existential I think that's part of the part of mindfulness practice is experiencing things can with with fresh eyes For the first time. And maybe that's part of what can allow us to open to. These things is not being sorta foreclosed like yea I know. That's about it opening to end connecting in a different way. So what's your mindfulness practice Do you sit down with the call map every day. Or You like more evolved in that more evolved. I I do do some Gentle Yoga. No fence to the calm up. I love the call mapped. I'm just you. It's it's changed over the years it's started out and it was just. I think initially I was doing some Some guided meditations with I think some John Cabot Zinze recording to really enjoyed and recommended that my clients and then For a number of years I was doing just silent meditation. Fifteen minutes a day of just sitting at is open actually focusing on my breath and then I did more kind of or calming type meditation especially when I was going through an extended. Illness really needed that. Deep comparison. Pathetic nervous system activation I wasn't so focused on focusing as much but more just on on being with the breath and relaxing. Maybe doing some that were guided. Had some music in the background. In then I did just before that. It did in a Sam Harris from waking up podcast in multiple books in waking up meditation APP. Did that one for for awhile to return to that. Sometimes that's really been instrumental in my understanding of the mind and in the connection of of mindful awareness and meditation to kind of our our fundamental experience of consciousness as best. I can understand it And then then then as I started lately. It's more A moving meditations are barely moving. Meditations kind of Yin Yoga or or bedtime yoga in the evenings Really really enjoyable. I do at twenty or thirty minutes Most nights my wife and I both do. It is kind of a nice way of being together and decompressing before bedtime. That sounds like you. Some really healthy practices there. I saw the core may be really funny if he was drinking a beer right now just from like from a pure comedy perspective because I really have some healthy habits like Chug to veer. Got The game on over here. You know so every now and then Saturday night live perspective. That'd be funny but okay. It was one of those is watering their right. There's no no vodka just water. Yeah Yeah no. It does sound like you have some really healthy practices. And what? Is it about mindfulness meditation. That why does it? Why do I feel like a better kinder human after? I've had ten minutes of paying attention to my breath. Why does that happen? Can you explain this at all? I mean I my understanding now which could continue to evolve but is that meditation connects us to our true nature. Nature is to be kind loving connected to others calm in that. It's it's so much of thinking in doing that. Feels are days. That takes away from that place and so it doesn't take isn't long to come back. It's always there that that core truth of who we are. Our our essential nature is right there. We come right back to it and it can happen in an instant so I that's my understanding of it now. Why it's why it's so effective and so important for to be central to to to therapy practice as I understand it because it does comes from that it puts us in that place of truths that anything that we it's like it's a foundation and so if we if we're if we're in this kind of uncensored self-focused impatient plays who tried to build from there we're going to build squawky structure if we come home to ourselves. Come back to that That true center then from there. I think what we build is going to be good so interesting. Why is our center less motivated by our war level desires? That's what I'm trying to understand that I mean my rav of chocolate doesn't like it's real. I mean just say like so real. True Self doesn't chocolate. No I think there is. I've kind of written an article for scientific American kind of criticizing the concept of like the true self. It's all new but Refocuses on a particular side of you seems to be your best sell be kind of brings out the best in you and yes and I'm just like it's just fascinated me that like attention. You didn't have to be that lay right like it could be like the more you focus attention the more. Actually you think about the like the chocolate overrides you right and the mortgage jerky become. Yeah nowhere meditation for you. You're mean enough. Yeah and to be fair. There are those who are class a jerk to gravitate towards mindfulness and do become more mindful in being a jerk. So I don't think it's a panacea but I do feel I. I'm talking about my own lived experiences. They say like way I can be when I'm feeling all add. I feel like I'm not at my best like go anywhere on. Go the chocolate I go to this then I do like ten minutes and I do. Feel centered there. I do feel more centered in a way that I don't feel a pull to make even feel the pressure to make a decision right. If that makes sense yeah yes no it does. After we've read your scientific American Article Senate to You. Yeah please do. It's called. Yeah Oh that's great because really what? We're talk minutes Kinda that the frontier of my thinking. Because I don't know exactly how what I what I consider our our spiritual centre how that relates to the other parts of ourselves. Because I I agree with you. It's I think it's a kind of spiritual hegemonies. The right word but but we can be too precious with the idea of spirit and want to deny everything about the mind and the and the body but but I think it's. It's more the most valuable actually is more of a a evaluating of all the parts of ourselves but I guess my we came to this was was realizing our tendency is to get over identified with our minds and our bodies and see those as the totality of who we are and forget. There's a part of ourselves that is that's more than our mind and more than our body and it does. It does seem to be that connecting with that part of ourselves just brings the other party or can bring you. The parts into alignment can enjoy the chocolate in a different spirit. That it's less of a kind of acquisitive like can't be satisfied kind of way more of a more of a willingness to enjoy what's there and then to be okay when it's when it's gone. I absolutely agree with that. You know we can make decisions like dark dark dark side Sundays. I'm like all the Food I want. You know if you do it mindfully I feel like these things can be really great so I love what you're saying and you talk about how you can cultivate mindfulness and two things that you mentioned particular presence and acceptance talking about what just as quick description of a definition of what each one means. Yes yes a presence is just focusing awareness. Actually doing rather than our brains WanNa go into the future figure things are gonNA work out for us or they want to dwell on the past ruminate on things that have already happened in. So mindfulness is about coming into that thin slice. It's right in between those two. You did my whole screen win your little little. Okay you build GonNa work okay very cool and then and for some people that some people see acceptance as inherent to present so. We can't truly be present if we're not accepting what's happening in the president as soon as we start to to wrestle against our our situation or to To to Kinda hate it in some way struggle against it to reject it. Then we're we're no longer present. But but but the other component is is often called acceptance opening to things as they are doesn't mean that we love them doesn't mean that we approve of them like if someone else's street badly accepting that's happening doesn't mean we just take it. It just means acknowledging that are. This person is treating me badly then. We're in a good place to decide what to do about it. Well that doesn't mean rodgers said. I often find that curious paradox. Is that once? I've accepted it and then I can change. Yes yeah I guess. It doesn't mean that you approve of it or that you want to keep it forever. You know you're like this is what's within me so that really. That really isn't wine with the article. I wrote on authenticity under fire. While there's no such thing as a true self because once you think that the truce offers only the good bits about you like not accept all the naughty bits right yes mobile accepting all the bits and yes. Yeah Yeah Yeah because people do have an authenticity bias. They if you give them like self report questionnaires and you say can you mark off. All the aspects. All the adjectives about yourself. That are the true you the true. You is like moral. You know good caring loving you know all the other stuff is like. Oh that was just me gained drunk Friday night. You know. That's not really me a again. It depends on what we mean by me bald there we go there. We go good point kind of kind of law clearly like like Bill Clinton this. What was the word was is ends up with a definite word is is or something like that quibbling about some irregular verb or something but no. I completely agree it's I don't I don't want to separate off parts for self exactly because I think we're we really set ourselves up in end in others at them up for for bad behavior from us. If we deny those parts like a Jordan Peterson heard speak good bit about and if we deny the dark ourselves and parents don't recognize that they have a real potential for violence against the kids. They love their own kids. That's that's that's a very dangerous thing to do. I guess so so when I say that. Let's say someone beats their kids and I it's not your true self. I don't mean you didn't actually do. That's not familiar capable of but it's not true to your deeper nature. There's interesting there's a true part of you that I can align with. How do we know that the I'm GonNa play devil's advocate has never like if an evolutionary psychologists what you said absolutely? We know that the deeper self isn't that primarily aggressive sexual like you know like like unthinking like reflexive self. How do we know? That's not the actually the deeper self from an evolutionary point of view but then it actually requires all these levels of mindfulness and consciousness and and cultivating world kindness meditations in order to get in touch with a higher self like. How do we know? We don't have it backwards. We use the phrase deeper self out definitely is a good question. I think it depends on what are our prior beliefs are. I don't think there's a a proof you know in in one direction or the other but I think So where I'm coming. Where I came to this from was in. I don't know that he would agree with me but But the Sam Harris had this meditation where he he who is definitely an avowed atheist. One of these one of the lines he had from One of the guided meditation was was something. Like you're a conscious is not in your head. Your head is in consciousness so the idea being that our consciousness is is kind of prior that our experience is based on and derives from Conscious is primary and so when I came when I came to believe that was true then in and I came to see conscience consciousness being manifest each of us as something that we we carry to me so to speak as our spirit than in the end and I believe that that spirit the truest part of who we are then for me. Everything else is built around that so so evolution you Deep truths about Selection and change over time and And things that we believe about evolutionary science to me those are those are secondary came after this deeper existence end truth of conscious consciousness in spirit and I know this is pretty far outside of I think of as traditional cognitive behavioral therapy has more world view than talking bad. But you you you wanted to talk about how there's much more to see. Bt Yes then how it's been treated yes thinking one of the email threads. You said You'd like to talk about that absolutely glad we're getting to it. I'm trying to understand your point though I mean surely from in the evolution point of view consciousness was like a much much later arriving thing on the human scene. Then our drives that we share with other primates. Things right I'm GonNa like a broken record here but it depends on what you mean by consciousness. When I was studying cognitive neuroscience deal is that consciousness was this emergent property that came from yes complex later yes came from complexity. That's only yes. Yeah and so I mean that's a that's a type of consciousness in nat is sort of self reflective consciousness in in an explicit awareness of of our experience and ability to reflect on that I am the I that is having this experience. I think what I'm talking about the different type of of consciousness not conscious awareness but just the this is where my will words fail me but I think because my knowledge reaches its limit. But it's more it is but it's more basic than that And it doesn't so this is this is beyond science. I think but it's it's a conscious that doesn't depend on the brain. Well then then. If that's the territory we've gone in and I can see I can see I can see what you're saying I think is it that point. I can say anything if you change the rules of the game but no I really. I'm going to. I'm going to think about that. How would that I'm going to? I'm going to meditate on that for sure So why isn't waking up a once and for all experience? It seems like it'd be really nice if it were but but it but I mean I know for myself I can have this. You know. These moments of of deep connection. Innocence of unaware of what's really important and letting go all the B. S. that tends to cloud our experience in our well being and then ten minutes later I back in it right back into all the all the clutter and I think this is answer. The question I think it's I think it's the human condition but I think part of that condition is that our There's so many there's so many forces that are working to put us to sleep. I think our think social media is exquisitely designed to for the most part to to put to sleep to to get in the way of being present and connected in aware in in a useful way Consumerism in most of its manifestations I think is a fosters a kind of desire that that puts to sleep our higher awareness. Our sense of being Enough in having enough our economy runs on being told we. Don't we're not enough? We don't have enough to keep keep the engine running keep consuming so try and but then I think you know the outside forces aside I think within ourselves we have this machinery built in this fits eager to wants to protect us and it is is constantly pulling our attention to our. Our fears and our inadequate are feeling inadequacy insecurity in trying to doing its best to protect us but in a way that that actually has the opposite effect just like just like any other kind of fear driven behavior like in a more in a more obvious type of. Let's say a fear of dogs that our our brains tells dogs are dangerous to avoid dogs within that just makes us more afraid of them and more likely to be upset. Reduc- see one who's scared of dogs. Who's scared of dogs? Yeah I'm not scared of dogs out. I know I'm not. I'm scared scared of dogs but I'm more afraid of dogs than I used to be after knowing go talk talk incident. I didn't but I do a couple of people who got mauled by them so happens too quickly in their lives are changed so I mean I love dogs myself would love to get a dog. Well now I'm scared of dogs. You just gave me a fear of dogs. Yeah. Yeah I'm very suggest adjustable. I want to just end today because you've been so generous with your time on just some ways people we can be kind ourselves and I think that firms are really strong. Part of your work is how to ourselves. And I found that chapter one of very meaningful chapter for me. So can you talk about some of those great? Yes yeah definitely and maybe I'll frame this kind of think. Act BE PERSPECTIVE. They helped me GonNa organize the different things that are available so I would start out. Start with action. I love the lead with action Doing things that are kind ourselves in thinking about how we want to treat someone. If we weren't ourselves we have this opportunity to be kind to to this person in the world. You know who this person whose whose body we inhabit. And so you know maybe to offer one is. You're making ourselves a nicer meal than usual. I used to habitually eat. What a friend of mine labeled self loathing lunch? Something like The chips in tortilla chips in slices cheese eaten at my desk. And so you're making. It's a little nicer. Maybe using a cloth napkin makes it feel a little bit like someone took the time to do something. Nice for you even though it's just your your earlier self day and looking at your schedule for the next day and finding one way to make it. Make the day little nicer for yourself. Maybe it's taking out something that you don't have to do is GonNa make your day more stressful than that has to be or maybe it's adding a little something like Like getting yourself a Nice Cup of coffee but just something that that gives me. It's sort of it's doubly rewarding because there is the the feeling as you're doing it if you're doing something nice for someone and then later you're on the receiving end of that like all cats packman ice lunch me and then on the thing side a watching out for the types of self aiding thoughts that we have They can be they can be subtle. They can even be more kinds of images than thoughts. What if you're a narcissist all your thoughts for like I'm great like is there a form of CBT? For Narcissus there is the reverse out more negative thoughts about themselves. Maybe more realistic. Because every narcissist that I know have have worked with. There's always the flip side. There's always that the the the narcissistic thoughts are a cover for you. Really Self Hating Alma. God's such a e point. Yeah Yeah Gotcha Gotcha. He had those thoughts are as low as the positive thoughts are high. Got To try to find a more stable. Gotcha yeah so noticing those thoughts and again not trying to tell ourselves things. That are unbelievable. There were that we're The best person in the world but But Tina speaking to ourselves kind of the way we speak to a friend child's only care about and then finally the self care from A. B. A. B. Perspective is. Just you know taking time. Step out of the thinking and doing mode and In just as as the label suggestions be in our experience. Maybe it's just I mean this is. This feels weird. I think for most of us but just sitting. Maybe for a few minutes doesn't have to be meditation but just just sitting in and we were sitting outside whether permits or sitting in the living room and seeing what happens were so driven. I should be doing. Some should be doing something and see what happens when we step out of that mode in for those interested. Maybe starting a A brief meditation practice each day. And just seeing what that's like. I I think the important thing. As far as I'm concerned with meditation practice is just finding something that works for you. It doesn't have to be you know certain. Length of time is open is closed sitting. A certain way doesn't even have to be what we meditation. But it's just a wave of being being in the presence with a kind of an enhanced level of openness compared to what we what we tend experience. It's beautiful what a great way to live one's life and also. I think I'm trying to think we didn't really talk about values. But we've had other episodes about that we've had his yes. Yes talking about the act approach which is all about aligning your actions with your values and But you that's another add on in your book. Is The you know the values part of it. So we got mindfulness. We got behavioral behavioral activation. We have value getting in touch with your values. We have being mindful of your cognitive distortions and and trying to test the evidence for your core beliefs have a more realistic view. Have left anything out. You know I mean I. I think I think some of the WHO maybe things that weren't weren't I always thought of a CBT. But I think of his his I'm seeing are more important. Things like just basic good self care like Diet. Exercise is some kind of a connection to to feeling of meaning and purpose. Those bigger life issues. I think are just as important as anything might do the therapy room of that. Hey thank you so much for. I don't with me today. It's been a real pleasure for me and a big fan of your work now. So thank you very much skied. Yeah definitely would encourage listeners. To having already probably already seen them but to but they're a great episode on the dark side Recently I think which yes I think. Those who want to Dive deeper there. Then yes Steve Hayes. Episode sued started. Listening to I think is is a is really I've so the values part I've been influenced by his work as well as I think. That's really important and I just WanNa say really appreciate your work and all you're doing to bring as so many ideas in psychology to your listeners. Really fantastic I look forward to continuing to follow you. Me Too Seth. Were you just you just suggesting that listeners? Listening to some episodes of my podcast. Yes yes my God. How incredibly generous of you? It should be known that you have a podcast to that listeners should be hearing that was incredibly selfless of you to in that moment almost like going to cry because I have. I am touched because I very rarely get that. You know you'll have guests the chance to talk about themselves. They plug their own thing. And you literally just just directed them to some podcast episodes so how incredibly selfless of you? But I should say that you also have a terrific podcast and I really would like to direct people who really liked a lot of the things that you talked about today to go there and and also read your book. You know there are some things. We didn't talk about today. That leaves a teaser for those that. Want to read books such as skull setting as we talk about saying the right goals and how to use other eagles and those are the aspects that I think are best. I WanNa read your book and do that and have a journal like I do and keep a journal on to keep track of the goals. So thanks again seth yes. Thank you very much Thanks for listening to this episode of the psychology. Podcast if he'd like to react in some way to something you heard I encourage you joined the discussion at thus ecology podcast dot com. That's the psychology podcasts dot com also outta reading and review of the podcast on itunes and subscribe to the psychology podcast. Youtube Channel as. We're really trying to increase viewership on Youtube. In fact many of these episodes are in video format on Youtube. It's you'll definitely want to check out that channel. Thanks for being such a great supporter of the podcast and tune in next time for more on the mind brain behavior and creativity.

Dr Scott Barry Kaufman George Washington University Bt Dr Seth Gil Dr Gill Sam Harris Han rob Acorn Seth Gill ardmore Pennsylvania -iety Yoga Class Heikkala Professor Pen Richie Davidson Boston Ptsd Maryland
James Wilson  Strength Coach and Internet Entrepreneur

Moving2Live

1:06:19 hr | 4 months ago

James Wilson Strength Coach and Internet Entrepreneur

"Moving to live is a podcast about movement and exercise along with our sister. Podcast at lab. Pg h we had the ethos that movement is a lifestyle not just an activity because movement is part of what makes your life complete moving to live interviews professionals in the movement field who have a variety of experiences education and professional titles at the end of the day. We all want to move more and we want our patients athletes or clients to move more or move better more efficiently or move with less pain. Some of the people we interview you will have heard of their well known in and outside of the movement and exercise professions others. You may not have heard of but they have a great deal of knowledge to share many people. Doing the best work spend their time. Working with people not working on their social media presence each moving to live interview will be long enough to impart usable information but short enough to be able to be consumed in single. Listen during your workout commute or even during dinner prep before we get to the interview request. If you like what you hear please leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts and share the podcast with your friends or anyone who understands that movement is a lifestyle we appreciate it and our guests appreciate it to welcome back to another edition of moving to live as you heard in the intro. Moving live along with our sister. Podcasts pg h have the ethos movement is a lifestyle not just an activity. Really want people to think about. Movement is the norm. Not the norm. And i try to seek out interesting people in the movement field. Some of them. You may have heard of some of my come across from searching on the internet or something pops up on social media and today's guests. I actually came across Probably about six months ago. When i was looking at natural footwear and i saw he had appeared on a podcast of two people who are involved in natural footwear. And he had the idea of what you need to have for flat pedals for biking pedals much larger platform and so rather than just calling him up. And say hey. Can i interview the first thing i did. Is i bought a pair of pedals. Try to add a little bit My girlfriend tried them out. She bought a pair. I have two pairs. I will tell today's guests. I probably will not give him up. and use on my gravel bike. But i can tell you on my fat bike. They have a permanent spot today. We're talking with james wilson. He is a mountain biking coach. He is the inventor a type of pedal that we'll talk about. And what i found when i dropped down the rabbit hole of social media. Is he's also involved with brazilian jujitsu. So james thanks for taking time to respond to my email and reach talk to Moving to live. Yeah there now. My pleasure always happy to spread propaganda in in different areas so Yeah thanks for the opportunity. So my favorite question. I always ask moving to live. Guests is you're stuck in an elevator or you're at a a mountain bike festival or on a mountain bike ride. And you're wearing a t shirt that identifies who you are. What is your in a positive way. What's your elevator spiel. And somebody says. Hey james what do what do you do for a living. What's your response as little as possible. you know it's it's an interesting question because I don't really know how to answer it. Because i have a few different hats in. They've all let's pretty interesting unique spot for but in a nutshell. Somebody asked me that. I tell them. I am a strength coach. And an internet entrepreneur as kind of in a nutshell. Which of course usually leads to more questions. But that's that's what i do. And i know you're in fruita colorado. Where did you start out with me. Where did you grow up. And somebody who's involved in the movement field. Were you an active kid growing up or was that something you discovered later in life. Now i grew up being active I was born in Ardmore oklahoma i spent a lot of my life in the you know the south oklahoma a north texas my grandparents lived her owned a three hundred acre ranch so i went spend summers with them. I mean i still remember just going to be begun in me and the dog just heading off in the morning and come on back in the evening and You know so going out and doing things and was just always part of my lifestyle So as i grew up. I ended up in in high school in a town outside of fresno california call. Clovis and i was going to clovis high and that's i started working out before that. Just remember in junior high like my dad. Had one of those old wait sets with the plastic cement filled a plates. Go out there. Not knowing what else to do to bench. Press in curls bench pressing curls what else do you do barbell and so but in high school. I started a little bit more serious about working out. My main motivation was i want girls to look at me because i was pretty skinny and so back then in the early nineties. Everything was a bodybuilding and semester. Remember like going to the newsstand. Seen if the new issue of of muslim fitness had come out you know like really like taking it seriously I remember sitting in the back of math class one day and i'm like the teacher is teaching something. I'm not paying attention to it. 'cause i'm trying to figure out the perfect training split. You know if. I put this exercise here and i put this muscle group there and then i do this and so looking back on it. You know that wasn't normal. I didn't realize it at the time but that wasn't normal behavior So i really got into that. And then i start running track my junior year in high school. And that was my introduction to using strength training for something other than muscle you know increasing performance and so i ran track for a few years in when i got done with that Kept working out in a mountain biking Kind of through the back door. Because i was living in santa barbara at the time and i was working. I got certified as a personal trainer. I finally realized that my obsession with a you know workout stuff wasn't normal. Maybe i can make a living doing this So i got certified. A trainer through the international sports sciences association is a safer short and their offices. Were in santa barbara. And so i was. I was taking their tests in our would go in and ask questions personally to have a tech support line that you can call for help and so i got to know the guys there. Charles staley was working there at the time on enough people know who he is. But he's very well known Strength coach in the fitness field escalating density. Training is is the training method that he's best known for but i got to know those guys and so did pretty well on test and a offered me a position on basically an internship to come in help grade task Answer questions from people called in. And so i was looking for a way to get to work. Didn't involve a car because parking downtown. Santa barbara was not. It was really hard to to deal with. And i didn't live that far away from the office and so i decided to get a bike and i got a mountain bike. I didn't want to get road bikes. I thought road bikes looked weenie and mountain. Bike look like a bmx bike. Look more familiar to me. So i bought this mountain by just ride to work on and had fun like riding around the streets on it and so i knew that there were trails and stuff in those in the mountains behind santa barbara Which come to find out is like one of the best riding spots in in california but So one week. And i got bored and i decided to ride my mountain bike up and down fire road and man. I was hooked. It had like all the stuff that i love right like you. As a as a runner at cross country in our real enjoy cross country in stone mountain biking get that runner's high in kind of that cross country. You're out in the woods type of thing nature and then you turn around and you get this adrenaline rush like a like a action sport and i tell people like mountain. Biking's like an action sport and endurance. Sport got drunk one night and had a baby in mountain biking and So i was hooked and so got into mountain biking That way and of course coming from track knew that you could use strength training to enhance your performance. So i started looking at stuff to see what was available on. The internet was around back then. wasn't what it is today but there was The internet but you know looking at trying to find what i could. I couldn't really find any legit strength. Training information for mountain biking like everything that i found was three sets at ten on the leg press and electrolyte extension and i knew that that was just bodybuilding in disguise in so i just decided doing stuff that i knew like how athletes train more athletic stuff in venture that was introduced to kind of the functional movement Idea You know it's funny. A lot of people don't really know where that a lot of functional movement stuff originate from the australian strength coach name ian king and he was the first guy if you go back and you do your research. He was the first guy to start really using movement patterns instead of muscle groups now is kind of a landmark movement in in strength training like instead of training by anatomy. You start a training through a movement patterns because body does movements isolation stuff in so i got introduced to that through a website. t nation t dash nation They're still around the great information. But they had that guy ian king on there and i started diving down that rabbit hole in you know around the same time Kettlebells i still remember when it's working for isis getting this A copy of this book the sunlight sentence for the isis to review. Inara this frigging shirtless. Hairy-chested bald headed russian. Dude on the cover of this book it was called power. The people it's like. What the hell is this man. This is like the late nineties. This is before you know Kettlebells known for its pavel sought selena. If people don't know and he's super well known in many circles but he's the guy who popularized kettlebells so if you've heard kettlebells are you workout and kettlebells today like you. Some thanks to pavel thoughts lead in his work in that arena But you know the the point is is. I got introduced like kettlebells and functional training. Lots different things. And i started applying these things to what i knew. The the movement and physical demands were mountain. Biking and i was seeing result myself. I had some other people that are working out with me in air seeing good results in around two thousand and five. I had the idea that maybe there's other people who'd be interested in this. You know there is this thing called the internet. Maybe i'll put up a website. And so i started. Mtv strength training systems and put up a website in. I still don't know where those first newsletter subscribers came from like how they found me but all of a sudden one day i had like fifteen people on this newsletter lists that i had put on the site and so i started writing a newsletter and i pretty much put out at least one newsletter every week for the last fifteen years and You know a lot of that was was Through pyramid trading three new blog posts a week united. I had a lot to say in trying to help. People understand how to connect like really the thing that i feel like i do really well. It's help people connect their movements in their sport to the movements in the gym. So now instead of just doing an exercise you understand. How does this exercise connect to the that you need in your sport and so helping people make that connection especially in the mountain biking role. I feel like that was one of the things that i i did. A good job of helping people understand. Better you know. You're no longer just doing cattle swing. You're practicing the explosive hip motion. You need for a manual or bunny. Hop you know things like that and so But anyway so that's kind of led me to where i'm at today. Just two thousand five started out that site in have had the opportunity to work with a lot of top writers real written for a lot of the top websites and magazines and But yeah just like. I've tried to do my part and helping people understand how to move better both on and off the bike and how those can help them so The yeah that's that's the the long version of it. It's it's interesting when you hear people's stories in the movement field. We were talking before we started recording. And i said. I'm trying to break down the knowledge silos and you mentioned pavel right here in. Pittsburgh is a gentleman named brett jones. Who's a kennel trainer. We as you used to be my coach very small world so we interviewed bread about a year and a half ago. And i remember talking to brett. And i think he said he was the second person who took the training the pavel offered in the us so it's It's an extremely small world even though it isn't you just talked to somebody in a name drops in all the sudden it's like. Oh wow yeah. There's all these people who are interconnected who maybe without the internet they never would have realized this. Yeah yup now. The internet definitely done a good Done a great service and helping connect on different people. Because you mentioned stuart macgill earlier. Like stewart mcgill is very well known in a lot of movement based fitness circles. And you know. He is a A researcher traditionally researcher physical therapists. Doctors would be more the people who keep up with his work but But yeah there are a great cook. I don't know if you're familiar with him. The functional movement screen is another guy. Who's a you know a physical therapist by trade but you know very well known in moving to fill by by trainers and in so Yeah as you break that down the silos as you put it between fields and you get people in different areas and i feel like that's one of the things that i've you know what i did i was. I ran track like. I didn't get into cycling the traditional route right like i didn't start out cycling iran track. I did strength training beforehand Even when i got into writing. I did it through the back door like a i. I started riding on my own. I didn't have a group. I didn't have a friend like a lot of people when they start writing especially later in life than when they're adults they usually have like an adult friend. They're like hey man you should come check this out. You should come ride with us. And so you get introduced to a group or another ride or really early and they tend to you know usually well meaning we give you a lot of advice and they don't really give you the chance to to learn things and work things out and you know. Put it like you know. We have a tendency in the cycling world. First time we see someone struggle. We're like oh man you need. You know clippers pedals. You need this. You need that. And it's like a child learning to walk and you see them fall down once and then you put him in a walker. It's like are they safer. Yeah but you didn't give them the chance to learn how to walk in so you know we. I had that chance. Because i didn't have someone telling me like this is what you need and this is how you should be doing things like i was just out there like doing my best and all that work do that more. That didn't work well. Don't do that again. And there's something to that like. That's how we are designed to learn how to move is through mistakes and i think people especially as adults man we just were so afraid of making mistakes and we don't understand the learning process like i tell my clients when we start working out both strength training wise and teaching you jitsu i show him a thing and you can see them trying to figure out. How do i get this right right off the bat. I'm like dude. You got so many rats between you and actually figuring this out just do it manages to get him out of the way. Relax enjoy the process riot like you. You're gonna have to have some bad reps to figure this out so But yeah it's a you know. I guess my my point was is that i feel like a lot of my insights into cycling are because like i do come from a different silo than most cycling coaches do and even myself i've been influenced through from a lot of people who were from other silos than what you would traditionally considered to be the realm of his strength coach or something like that It is that There's a book called where good ideas come from. And in it he talks about this concept called the adjacent possible in the. Did you you gain. Bits of knowledge and experience in insights in the combination of those things is unique to you. And you alone right like you had an insight into a need for a movement podcast riley. Those a moment where you're all everything that led up to that moment gave you this unique insight and you're able to kind of like pure over the edge and see what's what's possible. What's next from this unique vantage point. That i have what is not adjacent ports in you know so. You're able to see these things if you have unique viewpoint but if you're stuck in an echo chamber and you don't have a unique viewpoint like you're never gonna see what's possible for moving things forward but again these ideas for moving things forward can often be threatening to the establishment which is You know a problem in itself but But yeah no breaking through those silos and learning from people in different Arenas is super important for really developing a good insight into what you're doing you've mentioned a couple of things that are going to take us down a rabbit hole in one direction. But i think they're well-suited one of the things you mentioned a few minutes ago and this is what i see a lot of the in the fitness world you have groups of people who are athletes. You know if you're somebody who's a runner or a cyclist or you know a weightlifters like okay. So you're going to the gym as a weightlifter you're lifting weights for that or if you're a runner you're going to the gym for that but so many people don't get the idea and i think you probably think the same way i do. Although i'll i'll welcome your thought about Teaching your clients that we use the gym for our sport. And in your case i would imagine. Most of the clients are mountain bikers. Some of them. I would imagine. Don't race just the idea of going out and riding. That's a sport that they can do whatever. How do you get the idea across when you have. Clients who are younger may be teenagers. You get young adults where everything in their life has been organized. I mean you described got de begun and your dog and you headed out. And i'm a little bit older new but my my parents rule was gotta be home for dinner. Yup late you better find a phone and call us but now there's everything is organized and just focusing on one of the areas the jury in the mountain biking of it. You know you've got kids who are seven or eight years old and mom and dad are sending him to mountain by camp to learn how to hawk and learn how to bunny hop whereas you know half the fun when you're a kid is realizing oh if i slam on the front brake touched backer I go flying over the handlebars ups. I won't do that again. Never do that again. I can still remember doing it on a downhill and i was like seven years. Old is like oh so. That's what happens. But how do you find when you get these parents who come in with you know for you as as a as a coach and saying i want my kid to do this this and this versus. I think you hit it. Well you know the way you learn his failing. I remember when i was in florida doing single speed riding in a learning different ways and following a motocross rider. Who was writing. A single speed was finding all these lines like. Oh wow there's why failed every single time now. I go in this direction. Or if i pedal slightly differently i can do it rather than somebody sitting there and say okay then when you go up this hill weight when you push the left pedal down pause for a second before you hit the right pedal that makes makes it very regimented. Sort of thing. I would say for me it would make it less fun but i think it probably also makes it more difficult if you as a coach. You're trying to train riders to be better writers. Yeah yeah man. I will admit to you that on some level of kind of given up in. I don't deal with it as one of the reasons i love. Jujitsu is because failures baked into it. It doesn't matter how big you are or what you did before hand. You're gonna get some mashed by someone smaller than you when when you first start doing it man. It is like the zero lose adds to your greatness end so i coach a kid coach. We've got You know quite a few kids in the in the kids class And i think one of the reasons that the parents bring to us is because these are the kind of parents who recognize the need for that and so you know there. There is not as much of that but i i know what you mean because when i first started When i opened my training facility that i had for like six years in grand junction. My focus was on youth athletes. And you know that was what i wanted to do is work with with young athletes in and it was very difficult and this is back man. This is like you know. Thirteen years ago or more in it's only gotten worse since then and it was like getting the buy in of the kid and the coach and the parent like that was darn near impossible. Coaches were so protective of their athletes. Like they want all the credit if something goes good but you know it's not their fault if things go wrong and so you know it's get everybody on board with wanting to do this and being supportive of it or it's gonna make it real difficult and then like you said you need you need parents and everybody. Who's buying into the idea of like man. we are. Were setting you up for a learning environment. Here in part of learning as failure and the struggle is part of it. Like you're you know that is just a you know how it's going to be things should be hard in so You know yeah man. I would definitely run into the into the parents and the kids. It was like man. This is hard. I don't wanna do it. You know if. I don't wanna feel good every time i do something i don't want experience failure and it's just really difficult like that. That mindset is tough one of the reasons that i have a tough time like i'm a i'm not a lot of people know me in in the training side in the mountain biking world but not like a super popular Coach necessarily because my message is like. Hey you probably suck no like it's probably you. It's not the bike. And you know what i mean that the best way possible right like i'm not trying to put somebody down. I'm just trying to like you know it's probably your lack of skill is probably your lack of fitness is probably your lack of strength is probably your lack of of mobility and movement like. That's what's holding me back not the fact that you know. The bike weighs thirty one pounds. And you think you can get under thirty. It's gonna make this world of difference or you got to get to tire said or this new. Do hickey or whatever it is. It's just the one of the things that makes mountain biking and cycling in general fund is the technology. But it's also an instant crotch in instant crutch for people and so you can always fall back on technology being the answer instead of looking at yourself and so again. That's one of the reasons that i love jitsu. Is there zero technology. You know you're gonna make no difference you know You're caller might feel a little softer someone's choking you out with it right but it's not There's no way that you're g or anything that you can buy and come on the mat with is contributing to your performance so any failures are one hundred percent you in so they have the saying jujitsu either win or you learn right. There is no losing like you. You learn you learn. You should be learning like what happened. Why did that happen. And one of the reasons that i love jujitsu so much that it's just this never ending a mental chess game that you know the the is an infant way to to answer the questions that your opponent is putting. You're not. I mean not necessarily infant. But there's there is no one way or two ways to do it like you can in and that's what makes it fun is it's ever ever evolving and so but it's a giant movement challenge and you gotta figure out like you know what is that guy moving. How is he moving in a way. It's not letting me do what i want. And how do. I need to move to do what i want. And then okay now. Let's develop a plan to accomplish that And so like that. Being you know said like baked into the culture for me makes dealing with With jujitsu and people get into ju jitsu way more enjoyable and way more relatable because had that mindset like i. I always looked at like mountain. Biking to me was a vehicle for self. You know it was never. It was never for fitness. it was never furthest friend thing. It was not like the isles but it was like that was by vehicle for self improvement in the nets. Really at the heart of martial arts. That's what martial arts is is a vehicle for self improvement And so i always felt a little bit like an outsider in definitely can tell like. I don't relate to a lot of mountain bikers cyclists because they don't have that mindset like for them cycling isn't a vehicle for self-improvement like going faster doesn't mean that you've improved as a person right like so like that's what you wanna be doing like. Are you improving physically mentally spiritually like all of these things matter like just because you gotta faster strava. Time doesn't mean that you're you're you're really improving in the ways that are super important especially long term and so So yeah having that that. Ego centric goal on the that cycling tends to promote Definitely makes it harder in in for me. I you know. I see a lot of of cyclists in mountain bikers in particular. Just fallen victim to a mentality that you know may give them some short term gains. But it's not gonna lead the long term you know happiness and success but So i don't know how the hell that was related to what we were talking about. But then you know. I'm interested when we go this one. I'm going to ask two questions. The second one is going to be. How did you get from mountain biking to jujitsu. But the first one where you mentioned i got into mountain biking for self-improvement and it's very clear from our brief conversation so far that you know you're a lifetime mover into into you. The most important thing is just to be able to keep moving for the self-improvement that that's your then you. It appears for self improvement or your or your method. Do you recall when you were in santa barbara and you started biking to get to work and then you took that first fire road was that the vehicle that or is that something developed A little bit later because you know one of the things. I've noticed with the people that i interview who are pretty athletic. Can stay activists somewhere around thirty five years of age kind of there's like a switch that switches for most of them from you. Can i get that strava thing or you know. Can i get that pr. Ed shook the olympic lifting to you. Know i just wanna be able to get out do what i love to do. Whether it's for self improvement for stress relief for you know to see that great sunrise or sunset. So what you recall was it. Initially you know that first thing it's like this is self approved me. Because i suffered like a dog going up the hill and then i headed light me going down the hill. Oh was that a little later. Not think it was pretty. It was right off the bat on again. Like i had you know it's your I had some Hard for this so growing up. I always had an interest in martial arts right. I remember doing karate with my dad at the ymca As a little kid and no not anything serious like a very short period. I remember doing it. And i remember like you know being into martial arts not mindset I did martial arts for us. A little bit in high school It was a like kind of a You know. Korean martial. Art taekwondo Type thing in so. I was in and out for like a year and so that really just spoke to me that whole like you know. What are we doing here. Man we are. We're here to improve ourselves in all of these arenas and so And then when i went to my One year of college For party my way out. Because i didn't know what i wanted to be when i grew up. It I happen to get put in a class on taoism. It was a no no no it was a A t class. That's what it was. Which of course is connected to you. Know eastern philosophy in taoism and stuff and so you know i learned a taichi flow and we did that but there was also reading that we had to do our red. Like the dow pu Zen and the art of archery You know so. I've been introduced to this this mine stat this way of looking at the world through some different experiences on at a pretty early age and so to me that is was always like i think one of the reasons that i remained active because even working out for me kinda turned into that like it was again. It was a vehicle for self improvement. The you know the discipline the You know getting through that last rapid in bill in that mental toughness things that were counted just as much if not more as the physical benefits in so down. When i started riding bikes men. It was pretty much like instantaneous. Holy crap hers. This thing that i can just really focus on. How do i get better at. Because i really suck at it right now and it's going to be so much fun like once. I get better. Because i could see. Better riders eventually did meet some other people involved with that riders in could see what was possible k. How do i do that in so But to your point though what is interesting is did it kind of leads to the second question. Excuse me which is it. It was about like aged thirty-five definitely when it turned forty forty five now the like mountain biking for me changed Because for me. Like i was always more into the free ride. Downhill side of things like jumping off a big cliff sitting forty foot doubles. Like you know crazy stuff that you really have to be focused man like you cannot let fear be the mind killer or it will screw you over like i always those hell or high water moments where it's like you know this is it. I'm going you gotta commit in. Go like like those moments in in you know all of the training that went into that moment you know the all the stuff that went into that both on and off the bike they led to the the ability to face that moment. mba able to Say no i'm going and do it in in. Stay calm stay focused in nail it and i love that. That's that was such a huge part of mountain biking for me and eventually though man. You can't do that his you can't hold their doesn't work as well. Because you know. Like i mentioned earlier. You learn how to do things by failing well when you fail doing stuff like that man. It hurts like i have bust. I've caught both a c. joints. I've you know had to have surgery at one of my thumbs because this one that doesn't extend all the way up because i popped the tendon in it from iraq Torn meniscus split. My face open. I mean it's i have a laundry list of injuries that i've incurred. I'm you know. I tell people like i've. I've sacrificed many body parts at the altar of the mountain. Biking gods and some of them twice. And you just don't bounce back as quickly and the injury start to add up like you do get one meet sack in in like it. They these things are real. And so i- mountain bike incarnate. Started changing for me in in so part of that. Thrill wasn't there. Which is you know that. In some other circumstances just having some more time on because i was always interested. You jitsu from c. one. I mean who the hell did if you're alive back then and you remember that there is a distinct line in the sand like before you have c. One you know. You're watching steven seagal and jean claude. Van damme going like. That's how you do it man like that may work and then after have one. It's like I'm going to get taken to the ground and get breaking choked out and you know and so i'd always kind of had an interest coming having a little bit of a martial arts background i remember doing my punching and kicking martial art noise thinking in the back of my head like this really gonna work on the streets you know and if this other person employed by the same rules as music really gonna work and then you get an jitsu and had that opportunity but it it it like. I said just kind of was looking for something else. I wanted to be a white belt at something both literally and figuratively after riding for a long time your incremental Your improvements are much smaller right when you first start something. It's super fun because you're getting better getting better. You're getting better. And i remember that from writing. I remember every that was part of the thrill is every time i go out. I can ride further. I can do something. I couldn't do before and so So yeah i wanted to experience that again with something. So i had the opportunity to get into into brazilian jujitsu and but but yeah no man it was That was always baked in. But to your point the there was definitely a change in the goals that i had You know as as i got older for sure and we get into the third trifecta. Now which is where i first became aware of. You think you have done a great job talking about mountain biking and really integrating how that plays in with martial-arts which i hadn't thought about. I've had the opportunity to interview a gentleman who taught tai chi and meditation. And i still remember telling us don. I can't sit there and meditate. I just can't do that. It drives me crazy. And he said you know ben when you go out and you hike in the woods with your dogs or you trail run or you mountain biking. I don't do forty four doubles like you. I never would have. I recognized by skill levels. But i know you probably appreciate what you're just added a nice flowing mountain bike trail and the guy said he data meditation so i i think that that really fits in and i think you've done a really good job of integrating mike. Curiosity is because as i mentioned. I came across you because i saw a natural footwear website. I can't remember which one and you were interviewed on a podcast or a block wrote a blog post for them. And you know. I google pedal innovations and i see this gigantic pedal which interesting side effect of that. I recently sold a bike. And i took a picture of it and it had your pedals on it which i didn't sell with it. I kept the pedals and somebody emailed me a message me on facebook and said hey. I've got no interest in the by. What the hell are those pedals. Because i want a bigger set of pedals because my feet or size fourteen. Yeah how do you get from strength coach. Martial arts were were were only energetic facility going you know all these petals out there too small. Because i know from where you're defining your age you probably remember on your first mountain bike. You probably had flats toe clips or you'd have to reach down and tug it in. And then they came out with Know mountain bike pedals. You probably remember on's about bike pedals with the with the rubber the rubber last summer bumpers where with the type of riding. You're doing probably you'd go off. Jump in both feet would come out to better pedals to now. It's almost like it's gone full circle in a lot about biking from klis pedals to flat pedals. So tell us a little bit first of all what is the pedal that you have and how does a different and then kind. Let's get into how you came up with this idea. Yeah no so. The catalyst pedal that's the the name of the pedal it That was an inspiration one day on the trail kind of in that meditative flow state. Where i'm like. It's top of climb in a little high boksic a trying to catch my breath and so as part of my You know. I used to be runner right in. Remember having them getting ready for orthotics and stuff hurt so bad and so I came across the book or underrun Which is influenced a lot of people in so that made a lot of sense to me is far as like. Yeah you know the foot Even kind of experienced like what happens when you have these overly bill over Over cushion shoes and stuff. And so i started getting more the barefoot running barefoot training movement So like in my gym. You'd workout barefoot or issues like we wouldn't allow you know big bulky shoes like you know your foot your foot in amazing Of part of your body and you need to let it move. You need to let it do its thing. And so running barefoot training with something that was always been a part of my thought process for a while. So i'm sitting out on the trail one day and i'm like why don't i need stiff. Soled shoes in the gym right. So you know whether you're on flats or you're on Pedals you know you're you're running this thing like you have really stiff shoes. You get good power transfer and everything feels secure or you've got a softer souls which is a little more comfortable. But they're bending and it's like your foot turns into this week unstable mass that you need the souls Your shoes to fix. And i'm like why don't i have this problem in the gym. Like why can i be in the gym. And i can be squatting or dead lifting you know all this way and in no problem but i get on my bike and i got this week unstable mess and it just the answer. Just kinda hit me out of the blue did initial insight. was it. Well it's because the ground stabilizes both ends of your arch when you're standing on the ground in the art is one of the strongest forms in nature but only if you stabilize both ends if you destabilize one in the whole thing falls to crap and so when a modern you know most mountain bike pedals of pretty much. All of them except for mine are built under the assumption that you only need to push through the ball of your foot right. There's this idea that riding a bike is like running or walking or jumping you know and so you need to be on the ball of your foot because you're pushing through the blogger foot when you're doing these activities the problem is is that when you're riding your bike your foot is not coming off the pedal right so you're not actually going anywhere. That's why you can have a stationary bike. Right like the bike is carrying your center. Gravity through space. You're not propelling your own center. Gravity through space. So when you're running or jumping or walking you're doing any of these things you are propelling. Gravity through space. But like when you're doing a squatter dead lift. You're not write. Your senator grab is staying in the same space Moving up and down and over the same base of support and so this is a very important thing because how your foot acts in these two situations very different and again. This is why when you're in the gym. No one tells you to push through your toes right. No one tells you like when you're doing squats and dead lifts and lunges. He wants you come up on the balls of your feet and drive your toes. Because that's how you do it when you run and walk and jump and not your most powerful thing right. So that's what you should be doing all the time. Well we don't do this because we recognized it will in that context you want the foot's remain stable. You want pressure on both ends of the arch and taking pressure off of one end is going to screw up the whole thing. You're gonna have problems with the knees the low back. You can't recruit the gluts as effectively. So that's why we don't do it but people had this misunderstanding. We forget that the modern bicycle as we know it is i think like less than one hundred and fifty years old whereas known as the safety cycle and so you literally had these dudes in buller. Hats and handlebar mustaches. Looking at this newfangled safety cycle. And they're like well looks like running or walking so you should just push the balls of your feet literally. This is where it comes from right. And so like everyone assumes that though is this council of of smart people at some time who sat down and actually studied this and confirmed that yeah. This is actually what's going on in. It hasn't happened right. It's this echo chamber. You mentioned it earlier. That's the biggest problem with cycling as it is a giant echo chamber there. There is a church of cycling and everyone knows what the ten commandments thou shalt wear clippers. Pedals now shout you know do this or that. Whatever it's like. Everyone has to toe that line in. No one thinks like. What do we really need to do. Is this really the best way you know. Maybe it is but we should just question it and see it no one. They don't do that in a lot. Not really it's not cycling. It's pretty much everywhere right. So that was you know my insight was it. you know. We're making this mistake designing the pedals too small because of this false understanding this assumption that you need to only have enough to push the ball of the foot since your foot is not coming off the pedal it's more like doing a series of lunges or squats are dead lifts than it is running or walking or jumping and so in that case you wanna make sure that you have. Both ends of the arch stabilized. So that you can create pressure you know. There's all sorts of things that happen. Not only does it help your your legs right so now you know just like in the gym when you are able to drive through the. He'll you have pressure on the backside of the arches. Well this allows you to recruit the hits better like one of the number one thing that people tell us from the culpas pot from the catalyst pedal especially when the coming from clippers. Puddles is did it. Takes away their pain riot like ankle. Pain knee pain back. Pain foot pain this pain. They've had bike fits. They've tried all the different stuff but as soon as they switched to our pedal and they allow the foot to move naturally and allow the body to move. Naturally it takes all that unnatural stress off the body and now your body can work the right way and it hurts less doing it and and you perform better in it so But anyway so that was. That was the idea in kind of insight that i had in from that point. I've realized there's a lot of other benefits to this design. Light like really clueless. Pedals were never better. We just had crappy flat puddle design. That's all it was like. You know if it from the anyways i go on forever mandate i you know if you have a platform that senate on a rotating axis. It makes no sense. One pressure point to try to apply pressure into that like no engineer. Nobody would say that's smart thing to do. You want to pressure points. Applying pressure on the ends. Like that's going to allow the most equal transfer of force right. So this whole idea that you need to attach your foot to the pedal what it is. It's when you have one pressure point. That's what your all your foot and your heal. Are their pressure points. There there are ways for your body to apply pressure into the environment. And so when you only have one pressure point you get this rotating happening right. 'cause you can't create equal pressure yet yet that that pressure point perfectly centered over the axle which is almost impossible to do. Most people find extremely uncomfortable so most people will at least run a little bit forward of the axle which is why you see people's toes pointing down when they're peddling hardest it's uneven forces going into the paddle rotating the pedal forward in their foot. Down right that's energy is being lost now. One answer to that is to attach your foot to the pedal. Yeah that's going to keep your foot from flying off bottle you know what another answer is. Even the forces out that are going into the pedal have to pressure points that allow for an even transfer force keep. The platform level. Enact keeps the foot from spinning off. And now you have that force instead of being lost in this row. This four rotation is actually being applied. Going straight down. So there's just there's a ton of benefits like when you really dig into the design in the science and the engineering and everything behind it. You see. there's a lot there. there's a lot there and so But the bike industry just ignore it because it definitely flies in the face of everything they told people for the last twenty plus years but yeah. It doesn't make a whole lot of friends at it. Cycling related dinner parties. I'm curious though. Because one of things that i mentioned before we started recording. Good friends with paul swift. It does a bike bike. Fit company in paul's comment was like look you know he had. He had a nice silicon saddles. He's like you know what. I don't care what your saddle looks like as long as you're comfortable on it because if you're comfortable on it you're gonna ride so a lot of cyclists thinking with your pedal design you know. There are the weight wheaties. And let's be honest. It's relatively heavy but on the other hand when you consider the weight of the bike in the way of most people who could probably ford lose five ten pounds of more than that it. Isn't that much heavier. How well you know lou just real quick my answer. That is most people understand that. There's a trade off between weight and performance. Because if they didn't all of you guys would be writing twenty four inch wheels right twenty four inch wheels way less and wrong. No but there. There's rotation a gains there. The you know the all these things are gains from the increase in size and so you are willing to ride a heavier. We'll because of the increase performance that it allows let's the same thing with the catalyst pedal like you're able to create more power with it. You're able to do it more comfortably like all. These things are -oday translate into a performance like faster times and so You see there's an increase in there's a benefit from them out ways the weight penalty. So i just. I make that point because most writers understand this like a if you run a dropper post a dropper post weighs more than a regular carbon see post. Why do you run it. While the ability to move the saddle up down and then able to move my hips around where. I need to let me ride more effectively. Okay so there's a trade off between performance in weight in so the catalyst huddle spa in that same area. Once people understand that. It's like okay. I see like it is you know. It's not just extra grams. I'm gaining performance Which most pedals. You don't really get that right. And that's why most people don't think about that like if you buy one pair of pedals versus another pair pedals. Really the performance that you're going to get from them is not going to be very different right because the the design is too small to allow for that different pressure. Point thing that. I was talking about in so it does come down to wait if if both if all the pedals are gonna give you the same performance while which one weighs the least and so. That's where you get into this. Graham counting thing handlebars kind of the same way. You know. there's certain components to get into this graham counting thing but it's because men honestly if you buy one or the other you're not really gonna notice it on the trail and they're all probably made the same factory overseas anyways they just have different labels flowed on him but the cats pedal is different. It's more like i said that's more like going from like You're a regular c. Post to a dropper post riot like you're going to add a little weight but man that performance benefit that you're gonna get from your feet being comfortable from being able to recruit your hips effectively all the things that the catalyst fell allows you to do is far outweigh that graham penalty. The that people will talk about. But i have heard that but again like once you think about it for a minute you realize like oh it really doesn't make any sense But yeah it is something that people think about. I'm curious also listening to you talk knowing triathletes in road riders. What are their responses when they see the pedals man. I've quite a few. We have a lot of road. Riders that use them And again like one of the main reasons that people buy them and use them is actually pain relief. Like they're they've gained like we actually have physical therapists and doctors who recommend these petals for that reason. And so you know when you are facing having to stop writing just riding in severe pain or being made fun of a lot of people would just deal with it. And they'll deal with being made fun of and they'll just get the bigger pedals and so we've developed actually quite a following in rhode riding from people in a lot of it originally and continues to be from people who are seeking Just pain relief manageability. Go out and ride as long as hard as you want and not be in pain during and or after the right like that's an important part of writing And then triathletes. We have a few of them using them again. It's a little bit harder. Sell to them but the funny thing is is the people that use them or setting. Pr's on them. They're going faster on them. And you know one of the main reasons is that when they are. There's a is actually a study done looking at the mid foot position which are pedal allows versus the ball of the foot position in duathlon basically. They're looking at rioting and then running and what they found. Was that that mid foot position allowed for faster running times and the thought processes. Because when you're on the ball. The foot that the stress it puts on the caffeine achilles tendon to stabilize the back of the heel on because something has to stabilize it. That you even that. That's that carbon soul soul is going to Shoes going to been some right. So you're placing this attention on it and so when you get off and you start running out the ball of the foot. Traffic triathletes start running. They got that frankenstein run because their legs are so stiff from that and it takes a little while for their legs to kind of loosen up so they can actually start running and so when you're able to jump off of the bike and you've lost no time on the ride riot again. We've we've got these triathletes in the reports that we get back like they're they're riding justice fast on the road on there on the ride but then they jump off and not only do they not have to change shoes because i get to ride in the same shoes that they run in but as soon as they hit the ground they're able to just start running and so now they're running faster and so they're there You know setting. pr's like so. yeah. I've got one of the guys that trains you jitsu with is a big triathlon coach. And he was really into the bike thing and help write some manuals for like clete position and stuff and i didn't do any hard sell on a man. He just you know we're doing jitsu. He knew that. I sold the pedal eventually comes up. You know because you just hear me talk about it and it's tough to hear me talk about it and not be. I don't know. I mean i got a lot of Science and other things behind my rationale for it. It's not just a crazy idea. Piqued his curiosity and so he's like. Hey try wanted. His players puddles sure man no problem and so he comes back and he's just like my mind is blown. It's changed everything that i thought about for position pedals. You know he's like i was. I average one mile an hour. Faster on my training. Ride with these with these paddles and And so yeah. He is now full convert. He's trying to figure out how to get the same effect from compass battles. Because he's still like just so like there has to be some way to attach my foot to the pedal and get the same thing but the problem is once you attach your foot to the paddle. You've created that single pressure point right so again. It's not the position of the foot and against this. What is it's gonna take a while for people to wrap their minds around what is going on here. It's not the position of the foot. It's the pressure points that you're putting into the pedal that's the important difference right. So you can have a mid foot position on a small pedal in. You're still not going to get the same benefits and same. Feel as you're going to get from the catalyst because you're not able to get the pressure points That the catalyst pedal allows and so. That's the problem clippers. Pedals is they're always going to be a single pressure point design. And so you're always going to have to deal with the trade offs from that and so you know i just. I'm not saying it's impossible. But for me i all let somebody else figure that out. 'cause i've always been a flat puddle. Guy like you know. I started out on flats a change. I rode clip clippers. A tried to learn how to use them. I spent you know a couple months like riding a work on them. Spent time practicing clipping in and out in a grass field in religious trying to get comfortable with never got comfortable enough to go right on the trail with them and then i had the proverbial fall over to stop sign moment. You know. And i was like dude. This is insane. Like i would've died on the trail inside like i had another ride at our driving within. He wrote Flats and he was a good writer. And so i'm like why. No i can get at least as good as him before. I need to switch the coolest puddle. So i went and got flats with Hey when i know that it's it's not me that's holding myself back as my pedals. Then i'll look at switching and so like that was one of things that led to the flat pedal revolution manifesto. Which you mentioned that you had read like you know all the science behind the pedal stroke like you know the you know again. There's so much misunderstanding. About just the basic pedal stroke in the muscles used in encompass versus flats in the first place. And then you start trying to tell people like okay now not only. Do you need a flat pedal but you also need a flat pedal that way longer than anything you've ever seen before and So yeah it's going to be is going to be some time. But again i think that the the science the movement principles All everything is is behind it and that eventually you're going to see this design become the the dominant design on the market because it's just going to become undeniable that this is the better way for your foot to interface with the pedal at least for your average writer right like the pedals may always have a place in like competition. But i compare that to like you know. Powerlifting weight suit or even like a weight belt right. That's like saying like hey the strongest guys in the world us a weight belt when they compete so that means that i should wear where a weight belt every time that i work out west the same mindset for someone who only rides klis pedals. It's like you know all right. Maybe the fast riders in the world where clippers puddles. But they're still a place for training raw right there still a place for just letting your foot make mistakes figure out how to create pressure like training on flats is gonna make you a better rider. And then if you do switch to clippers puddles and you decide to use them. You're actually going to be a better writer because you're going to be using good movement and good technique not just whatever the movement dysfunctions and things that the the closest paddles greatest asset is also biggest liability. Which is that you can do. Anything can just pull up on the paddles and the wheels will come up. You can peddle anyway you want and those things are gonna go round it. You don't have to keep pressure on the pedals and your feet won't come all right and so again in a race situation where any of these things in a fatigue state make the difference between you know podium being on a odium in not then maybe riley we can have that discussion but it again just working with high level writers. Another thing that opened my mind to this most high level. Riders are really good on flats right like they built their skills on flats. And then they use clippers puddles. But this idea that sold to the general public about cookbook pedals. being the way in Is is just not accurate in I feel is actually doing a disservice. to a lot of people unnecessarily so So yeah man. that's the. That's that and i know listening to you. Talk about the pedals to one of the things that comes to mind that you haven't even mentioned cycling as you said is relatively closed field in. I mean if you're an unfamiliar or new cyclist and you walk into most bike shops. I won't say all it's intimidating because if you say yes to ride a few trails the first thing they're gonna do and again. This is most not all you know. They're going to try to sell you a five thousand dollar bike where maybe you don't need a five thousand dollar bike and they're going to convince you a unique klis pedals. They're gonna convince you. Well you know you need this. This and that. And i think one of the things and i'm saying this is a consumer who paid full retail. You didn't give pedals I let my girlfriend triumph. Who really this year. Got into biking for the first time at one of the things that i noticed with. Her is starting from a stop. When mountain biking doing technical things because of the larger platform she was more secure than when it was a smaller platform regular platt pedals. So she could get started and then she was a pace she could readjust position so i think that's one of the things you didn't mention and people are listening. It's like you know that larger platform also can be a safety area. Comfort things for people who may be aren't skilled like me or maybe are new to cycling. Yeah yeah no having that platform down there your foot once it right like. That's one of the reasons that the people Feel better sitting down exceeded pending. That's another thing on my training. Stuff that really emphasized for riders. At think for every no matter what you're disciplined like seated paddling deterred man united terrible for you right like sittings. The new smoking. What is he peddling. Long hits of crack like you know it's terrible for your body being locked in the adult fetal position laying a ton attention on the system right. It's tension is what creates right so being sitting down in recovering right where you're easy spinning not a lot of tension in the system. That's fine that's not going to hurt anyone. But it's when you lock down and you start creating a lot of tension in the system and and that's what creates stiffness and you don't want to be doing that you know recreating stiffness in the adult fetal position. So standing up allows you to get into a much more natural position. There's still some compromises problems. It's not hundred natural but able to get your hips forward and so your shoulders. Moreover your hips your hips. Moreover your feet able to drive with the the whole lagging get full. Hip extension are like people spend. Buco amounts of money on bike fits to try and get the knee angle. Just right right. Well guess what when you stand up the perfect angle which is locked out. He's actually again. Some people don't realize when you are running walking doing all this stuff When you when your knees locked out you get a co contraction between the quad the hamstring to stabilize the knee it. Then you're using the hips to finish off the most powerful part of the you know the running. You're jumping whatever that is and so when you're sitting down you're not able to get that co contraction because you don't get one hundred percent in the extension yup pressure on the foot. You know the pressure's on your butt and so you're you're running all this tension through your knee. In this unstable position is one of the reasons that people's needs to kill them in hurt them and there's a whole industry of you know shoes and and bike fits all this stuff to try and solve this problem in. All you need to do is stand up but again it doesn't feel secure to stand up when you're bounce on your tippy toes you've got these tiny little platforms that have a single pressure. Point is creating this tipping motion. The harder that you push into them and so it leads people to decide why need to sit down and be more stable right and so your people sit down too much even climbing like that's misunderstood like if if you needed wait on your seat in order to create traction than clydesdale. Riders would never break traction and would just go up the climbs. No problem right. That's not the problem right people. That's not what you want is pressure. Pressure is wait. Used actively rights if you think about like standing on a scale right away whatever that is like from one hundred seventy pounds but then i can like without breaking contact with the scale. I can drive my weight into the scale and make the needle move right. So i didn't change. Wait i'm still hundred seventy pounds. Well how did i make the needle move and increase the wait. What was created pressure. My weight was used actively to pressure Into the scale. And so that's what you need for traction and so it's not your but on the seat like everyone's seen people climb things without sitting down. Then we turn around and tell riders. Will you need to know so that you're gonna lose traction if you take your butt off the seat. It's not true. It's not accurate right. As you know again large people would would have the best traction But you can have too much weight on the rear wheel which creates problems in spinning out in so standing up and learning how to use your way to create the right way to pressure ratio. Ll actually help you. Climb more effectively and so and you're going to be doing it in a much better position for your body and but again. It's very hard to do that if you're if you're pedals are too small and so again there's this rabbit hole malik once you're once. Your foot is unstable once. You don't have good Solid platform a good solid platform for your foot to operate from everything else has to be compensated for and so what you start to realize is a lot of rioting advice and a lot of things that were told. Today are actually just compensations for this unstable foot position. Not what's best for us from a movement standpoint and even from a performance standpoint but Yeah man to your point. The larger platform is more confidence inspiring. And so you know it will help you both which is filling convert on the bike in general but then also in trying things that you may not have tried before that instinctively. Your brain is going dude. You don't have the stability and whatnot in the balance to go for that. And so your your brain knows right. Iran's always monitoring these things so your mental confidence can hold back your your or your physical abilities can hold back your mental confidence and so if your feet feel more stable sound silly but man we get this report all time from people who are like man. I ride out on these things. I wrote through something that i always walk. And it's like yeah because your your body feel so much more confident when feeder stable you know just basic movement principle stuff but Yeah that's it's not something that a lot of riders necessarily Realize because the cycling world cycling coaches and stuff This isn't how they think this. Isn't you know where you're just busy repeating. What they learned from the next cycling died learned it from the next cycling guy from next cycling guy but this whole thought process of like well. Let's look at how the human body optimally moves in the now. How do we apply that to the bike. Right sounds obvious but it sounds like that should be the way that we do it. But that's not the the cycling industries approach to it. It's usually will. Let's look at this machine now. How do we manipulate the body to fit a theoretical model of how we think. This machine should be manipulated. That's where the whole push pull thing came from which again studies have shown is not the best way to do it. And that's why because you can theorize if is designing a machine from scratch what. I want to push pull. Yeah we're not a machine. Were an organism. We optimally push were designed to push not pull when you try to pull you take away from your push actually and so you know for for riders. There you need to focus on just a good strong down stroke leading the trail leg. Come up enough to not interfere with the pedal stroke itself. But you don't need to be trying to pull up and apply power on the backstroke. That is not the best way You know the best way to do it but But again the these theories of of life man. How do we get the body to its machine. How do we get it to do what we want for this bike They lead to these these. These rabbit holes You know that the can lead riders and in bad directions but Yemen the catalyst huddle it just changes your riding experience on a bunch of different levels. We've been talking to james wilson. I think one of the things i like about the catalyst pedal is from what he said over the last few minutes and again i'm generalizing somebody. Who's familiar with the fitness field. The first thing you'd expect as he would write a book and sell it and get everybody to buy his book but instead of that i'm assuming it was somewhat tongue in cheek. You have the flat pedal manifesto were. We'll have show notes where people can actually download and take the deep dive even deeper into what she said in either reached the conclusion that i reached. It's like hey. I'd like to try this and as i said at the beginning you know i'm kind of fan or they can say all i don't really agree with this but rather than rather than having to buy the book they can try it out themselves. They could read it. They can look at the research that you cited that james. I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to moving to live interesting story and just at the very least if somebody's listening to this. If it encourages them to move more or move differently. I i think it's a success of thank you very much. Yeah man my pleasure. It's been it's been fun. Thanks for listening to the latest episode of moving to live. Make sure you check out the show notes for contact information for our latest guest as well as links about the things we talked about. Intro and exit. Music is traveling by jason. Shaw you can subscribe to moving to live wherever you find podcasts. Or on our website. www dot m. o. v. i. n. g. number two ally dot com. Please tell your friends about moving to live and check out. Our podcast fit lad p. h. fit l. a. b. p. g. h. dot com which focuses on people businesses events and activities. And the pittsburgh pennsylvania area that make movement priority because movement is a lifestyle not just an activity until next time. Keep on moving.

pavel santa barbara ian king south oklahoma international sports sciences Charles staley brett jones stuart macgill stewart mcgill fruita james wilson james Ardmore clippers california Inara Clovis stone mountain
Episode 34: Homesteads and Homeschools with the Liberty Hippie

AnarchoInc - The Free Market Business Podcast

25:37 min | 2 years ago

Episode 34: Homesteads and Homeschools with the Liberty Hippie

"Success isn't just about what you accomplish in your life. It's about what you inspire others to do. Some people dream of success excess while others wake up and work this is enter co INC welcome to enter co- ache the podcast talking business and technology in the truly free market online at enter CO INC DOT COM <music> <music> <music> all right. Let's kick it off all right. Hello Free Market Lovers welcome to episode thirty three Venar going the podcast talking business and technology in the truly free market. I'm your host Jay reporting to you my homestead outlook for your state home of the Free State scratching in are going is your home for Buds Bruce Beans Bitcoin and if you don't know what that means you haven't been listening long enough in Arco Inc is the owner of narcos purpose CD DOT COM to buds in our beer dot com your bruise and in Arco Coffee Dot Com your beans and all of our businesses gladly support and believes in the power cryptocurrency bitcoin. It's the only way we can end the Fed so on today's episode. I'll be speaking with been paying <unk> from the homesteads in home schools podcast of course it's an examination of all things home setting in home schooling. Oh I get into the who what where why and how with Ben but before we get in today's episode of course this episode is sponsored by address Adress Nexus Dot Com join the agars community address next dot com advocates for creating a society in which all relations between people are voluntary our exchanges by the means of counter economics head to AGRESS NEXUS DOT com today to join in the counter economics by listing your business on the <music> agress <unk> dot com that's agress. Nexus Dot Com Ladies and Gentlemen Mark Twain once said don't go around saying the world Cosio living the world owes you nothing it was here. I well here to tell you about homestead home. Go home schooling living and not knowing you anything Ben. Hey Ben. Thanks for being here on the show today yeah. Can you give us a little background about yourself. Yeah thanks for having me man. I'm <hes> I grew up in upstate. New York pretty pretty rural and and <hes> we always had a garden and always was always something that was an important part of my family's lifestyle yes or no and faded out when I got into high school and I kinda revived it when I got into college and some from there it was always just something I did and we've always always stuck around that that garden until I I lived in Brooklyn for a couple of years and that was out but <hes> yeah we we've wanted to find a little piece of land a little something and and build on that and so that's what we did is. There's always been something that struck struck me about being able to provide for yourself a little bit more just about knowing knowing where your food comes from knowing how it got there and being knowledgeable knowledgeable of that you know it's always been important to me so yeah agreed agreed. It seems like we've as a society have lost lost touch where where our food comes from and how to provide for ourselves right most of us run to the grocery store when we want food and <hes> <hes> just pick up whatever <hes> you know a frozen dinner or whatever <hes> so what motivated you to get started with the homestead schools podcast. I mean I think it's one of the things that like like one of the reasons I kind of came to the Liberty Movement <hes> it was always kind of in me but I just didn't know what would it wasn't another name for it and no no there was other people kind of like that <hes> and so I actually got around to listening to allies liberty through a couple of different home. Studying podcast led me down. I doubt from one to the next to the next and those podcasts aren't really around anymore and really I think it's a that community the kind of Home Center community <hes> they already have a lot of those libertarian values built in they already have a little bit of that that there is just spreading the word like that into into those communities not necessarily you know vandalizing money folks that do that but just kind of you know. There's this thing out here for this way that you feel for all these ideas that that makes sense to you that other people don't seem to understand stand. There's someplace to go to to discuss those into to help them grow and so that was kind of the purpose for it <hes> <hes> <hes> yeah that's interesting and and there is something about home student home setting in home schooling <unk> as Libertarians or anarchists that we always don't talk about it's we we kinda get <hes> stuck on on either the latest political situation or fiasco or hung or crypto currency right but sometimes we really really you know there's something very libertarian <hes> or even liberty minded to be said about a home setting in home schooling yeah for sure. I mean I think you just be a part of your looking for yourself. You're providing for yourself at the same time that community if you've ever gotten involved in those communities the homestead community home cooking the outreach is huge <music> trading favors. You know I needed help putting up a fence for for my goats because you know my tractor is not big enough to do it <hes> and so you know we traded an old light post on my property that we weren't using anymore and they came in helped fence and that that willingness to help but at the same some time kind of you know you're on your own <unk> mind your own businesses is huge. <hes> very <hes> you know just just that example you just gave is very <unk> a goriest right. I mean you know the idea of I'll trade you barter this for this is is this is also another way in which I liked his as the way of suffocating the state right because that poll would cost him. I mean I don't know how much would it cost him but you know you had to go through the electric company to get it and you have to you know go through the state to get up and all this stuff and it was just you know Poland now he can run it all himself and you know and you help each other out at the same time and you build relationships like that. <hes> is influencing twofold for sure for. Schuermann agreed so what went into building the initial homestead in in home school podcast and website you know what did you start. Oh man it was. It was one of those things kind of like. I wanted to do it for a little while but didn't couldn't pull the trigger and then just kind of sat down one day and said I'm going to try to do this. Clearance from the wife and it was on. It's just it's been. It's been a time. You know. It's a lot of work trying to figure out to talk to people figure out how to edit stuff. You're all this the stuff that you have to do for but it's it's enjoyable at same time you get to talk to people that you would have no no way that you you would ever ever talked to some of these people. You know <hes> I just I talked to Ardmore the other day. I talked to conroy the guy that wrote the title twins like I would never talk these guys. You know some like Santa Cast. This guy that ferments everything he likes is differentiating guy in words. I never I never would have thought that I get to like talk. These people that are like wow okay cool. It's been an interesting ride so far. It's you know agreed agreed. Yeah I could definitely relate to that <hes> how're for. How are you attracting you know new users in a not really users but listeners for homestead the homestead in homeschool school podcasts in how're you finding <hes> guests on the show for your show. Oh Man <hes> I I'm. I'm probably doing a pretty poor job. Attracting people it's just it's just word of mouth and stuff on facebook or on Instagram spamming spamming out to a few groups and you know there's some word of mouth like that <hes>. I haven't quite yet shared it with people that I know like actual local people. You know. I haven't haven't got the gumption to do that yet. <hes> in terms of finding people it's <hes> that was one of my main ain't fears. was that <hes>. I wasn't sure that I would find enough people to talk to ensure that I would be enough conversation conversation or enough content and it's it's been interesting you. You know you go through patch. Where okay you don't really have anybody but then it just comes in there you find a whole bunch of different people whether it's someone points you in a direction or someone reaches out to you or you see a postcomm across on facebook facebook of someplace? That's really cool and does something unique in you. WanNa talk to them. <unk> people are really happy to talk and share their experiences. <hes> <hes> <hes> you know they. They got to where they got by struggling. We all struggle and that's how we learn and most people are are happy to share that and happy to let other people earned from their mistakes and to teach that way <hes> so it's been it's been good yeah yeah a hundred percent again agree with the on that one <hes> and that's what really you know the dark going. PODCAST is really all about is trying to you know raise up the entrepreneur spirit for it in in the Liberty Movement and to take that first leap of faith really. There's a lot of fear there is i. There's fear all the a time but you've got a breakthrough those chains of fear basically and find your way and find your voice and I it's a struggle. It's not easy as you said. In the beginning right <hes> would that said what have been some rear biggest challenges or obstacles goals that you've had to overcome with the homestead in home schooling podcasts not not acting like a fan boy WanNa when I get some of the bigger guys to talk to you know humbling my whereas in China to sound like a complete jackass like probably been then Turkey in the beginning there was editing part of things but I've kinda figured out how to edit a little bit better <hes> and not have to listen to everything three times over right right. You know there's something to be said about that. You know I did a podcast with nick from Dank. pod. Stash enemy made the State Bank pod says and I went back and listen to God damn thing and I heard myself kept saying you know you know and I said what the fucking idiot I sound like but at and I made a post about that on facebook and the community that I've built. You know what not that I've even built built. It was already there. The community that I tapped into that was there and the friends I've made through doing the Nar going podcasts at Arco Coffee. They were all all there to support me saying pretty much. Don't worry about it. Get rough presidential candidate like we all have linguistic tics six and that was awesome to hear right. It was in Libya. It's all this hate. It is true because I do the same like like there's certain things that you just say that it just whether it's a you know let's you think or whatever you're doing it for. Some people it silence in some people it's little little ticks if you will and <hes> you know you you move on and I guess you lose a listener because they don't like you know or my owners. Whatever okay sorry you can't cry exactly so. Have you found anything particularly helpful <hes> by doing the homesteads and home schools podcast. Is there any you know any piece of tack or Anything Real L. Helpful that has made it easier to produce the content <hes>. I mean not not so much content. I think thank <hes> more actual like life application <hes> talking to other people and I learned to <unk> from their experiences right. If if it was something that I don't know somebody's the ad talk somebody about raising goats and we'd just Kinda got goats and you know being able to talk to them and hear their story and learn a little bit at the same time <hes> you know I know what I know. I don't know everything <hes> and and you know there's that part of it <hes> I think that's and again on the tech side not not too much I I mean I'm kind of a pretty basic kind of tech guy how much on that end of things but right <hes> and then so maybe you haven't thought about this but do you foresee a business model and Dan you know any ideas for revenue and and how you're going to grow this for the future yeah. I think that's that's one of those things. That's kind of always his broiling around. <hes> you know because right now we're trying to trying to dial in <hes> how much of a particular plant to plant right now because you can go to the farmer's market and sell your extras and you know you can sell. Zucchini for fifty cents a piece but <hes> you're not gonNa make any money doing that. There's no money in selling your your little produce farmers market where we are. You know I mean <hes>. It's good supplement but it's not a good experience games for the kids. I guess but <hes> trying to figure things out whether it's a C._S._I. Type thing <hes> trying to try to move some seeds here and there i. I think you know we got some goats. I should have Davies. Maybe I don't know when <hes> we're GONNA breed them. Maybe maybe in the winter to figure it out but <hes> you know they'll be the B. stuff from there. We got a bunch of chickens because my dogs decided to murder a bunch of them so we had to start over but <hes> you know others. There's that part of things. There's the eggs but then there's do. I WANNA get into selling debut chicks at the same time because you know there's something they are down. <hes> <hes> Um I don't. I don't recall ever seeing them. When I was up up north <hes> and I don't know if that's because I wasn't paying attention but down here we have <hes> enjoyed. We have lots lots of like livestock auctions where you can go and just you know. Take your your extras to auction some off you know and I I know a lady that does that with like Herat she has she raises rabbits. She doesn't like rabbit meat but she raises rabbits and so that's what she does with extra ones in can make some money you know and we're still kind of trying to dial in exactly what it is. You want to focus on because you you don't want to spread yourself out to too far. You know and do everything half half cocked because then and nothing comes up you know. I'd rather try at one thing in fail then try two things at once in sale at all of them. You know we're trying to figure that out. <hes> as a few different different different avenues were trying to figure out where where to go exactly but <hes> yeah absolutely the. I know man. I hear you absolutely that's that's. That's the <hes> really you know. People think entrepreneurship. Is this idea of of a mark Mark Zuckerberg striking rich getting your it's not it's it's the idea of trial of error. There are ebbs and flows with them right. You'RE GONNA do one thing that people like and another thing that they don't <hes> I mean a classic example. I use is <hes>. My coffee is is has been doing well but the C._B._d. Business hasn't and so I don't know what to do in that you know I've got to figure it out. <hes> <hes> you know and of course beer is still in the works. We'll see how Latin comes along <hes> but it's it's these ebbs and flows in who knows rose in. May Not Be your home for Buds Bruce Beans Bitcoin in the future. I don't know right now. It is your home for buzzed Bruce Bees and bitcoin for now <hes> it may be your home for you know beans and bullets in the future. I don't know our our yeah so so I get it man. You know total so one last question that we can wrap it up. You know we try to keep it short and sweet for for our listeners so what advice you have for others who are just starting out <hes> with with entrepreneurship podcasting. Even you know any piece of advice. I mean like you said earlier you. You can't be afraid I mean you can be afraid but you can't let that stop you. You gotta be able to push through it a little bit <hes> <hes> you know and I think once you kind of get into things <hes> it's it's easier to keep going. I know now for me. <hes> you know once. I started asking around and you know we think about this name for podcast what you think would you listen to a podcast like this. It gave me some sort of accountability to to other people all right <HES> I. I feel couple months later really hey so so what's that podcast. You're you're asking about. You know I had done nothing. It was like Oh oh so okay so somebody else was thinking about this too all right. I gotTa do it now. <hes> you know so. There's there's that part of it. Figure out. I think what what will make you accountable and and do it. <hes> you know and like you said this idea of like the mark. Zuckerberg's right. You're just GonNa have this idea that just strike it rich and retire on <hes> <hes>. That's like hitting a lot. Oh Man. It's just a because we're going to happen right right. Agreed agreed yeah. It's it's yeah it's it's like hitting the lotto being struck by lightning. Everyone say agreed with you there one hundred percent <hes> for me. It's it's more of a smart passive income right a lifestyle more than <hes>. I WanNa be you know a Mark Zuckerberg type of billionaire. That's not about it's about a achieving lifestyle that you feel comfortable with. <hes> you know words that. I like to use uses financial financial security financial freedom right yeah yeah those I mean that's it for most entrepreneurs it. Let's that's what it is. You know it's just a it's an extra injection of cash here that you know if if something fails in corporate world I'll still be able to survive you know things are GonNa be tough but I I have something to fall back on a little bit you. You know you're not gonna be totally dependent on on somebody else to help you out or whatever agreed so with that said. Where can people go to learn more about what you're doing. You know <hes> shameless plugs really home says and home schools dot com. That's the Uh ah the website and his it's all pretty much there on facebook facebook dot com slash homesteads in home schools okay. That's that's where to go. You know <hes>. I don't know I <hes> I finally finally <hes> about six months. Later got got around to setting up the email list on on the <hes> website. I've been told you know you're supposed to build a list. I just never did it so I'll agree with you on that one. I'm not sure on the list I I. I do the do the email listing but I'm not sure it may work for. Some people may not work for others. That's the thing with on you know. A businesses and entrepreneurs straight people listen. Tom Woods and there he's all about the domains and building building the lists. You know some people have have feel like it's spam and they don't WanNa do that but it all it's. It's it's it's an art reading. A good email is definitely definitely in our <hes>. I I do appreciate a good email. Yeah Yeah for sure man full. That's awesome so all the show all those links will be in the show notes quotes Van. Thanks for so much for taking the time for being here. Thanks for having me up so well. That's it for today's folks. I hope you enjoy today's interview and be sure I believe in Arco Inc a review on Itunes this helps other people find the show and head over to INARTFUL INC DOT com slash support there you can find many ways as to voluntarily support this show including becoming <unk> supporter on Subscribe Star Bit Backer or and or patriotic for as little as five dollars a month or if you sign up you'll get a thank you at the end of the podcast shoutout on social media bonus content footage including pre and post show interviews with our guests a Lifetime fifteen percent off at in Arco Coffee Dot Com Lifetime fifteen percent off at liberty under attack publications a free copy the of our affiliate Inner Arche Book and any other e book. I choose to release as well in an invitation to the private discord chat room. Were always discussing being new ideas for the alternative economy until the next episode of Dark Oink peace love anarchy. 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#RushHourEdition @latenightparent

Late Night Parents

1:08:55 hr | 2 months ago

#RushHourEdition @latenightparent

"Did a did a stream earlier today. Which was usually my friday lunch. Talk live where you take the friday. You take a couple of maybe two or three topics you chop them up and under a half an hour and you go try to do. I'm gonna try and do it every week. With thirty minutes or less You know. It's but i'm wondering do do i still do. I'm doing at twelve pm eastern time. But you know pacific time that's nine. Am ronan day and but the thing is about this livestreaming stuff. It's whatever time end or day at any given moment right. Tony de what's going on. How you doing big shot at tony. Tony d joined for the close of today's lunch. Talk live so. I really did not want to say too much on the derek chauvin trial because we are. We have just completed the first week. But i'm gonna say honestly see how the prosecution can lose after the testimony unless the disdain for black lives so strong and sorry someone had just hit me up on the phone to kinda like the the while through our i. it's fine it's fine Yes it's it's you learn a lot about yourself. You learn a lot about you know a lot of things. It's it says a lot about the people that you speak with the people that you work with. When you see issues like this. I know you to derrick charleston trial. I personally do not. And i said i will decrease and allow you to increase this. This is my take on this whole thing. One seems like they're just running into the pacers right. It seems very pro. It seems like everybody watched something dark right. And you have look like The last time we were cheryl how. I realized that lawyers are the. That's the super power. Right get out wind. Would you can't give new but like that's the comic power and you either use it for good or evil right so you saw this superhero lawyer. You his power right to make was high. Okay fine you know. The question becomes as a former police officer. Now the question becomes win. Can't the cops kill you. So i get that shoot at you. Had kevin gone whether the you pointed at them or you. Brandishing which weaned by your waist. Band wi i got this thing right and you're not actually pointing it adding about you. Just kind of dangling brandishing this weapon you can be shocked with that right You can definitely be shopping finding around into the air. Right what i mean. This guy had the gun. He wasn't resisting obviously. He didn't want to go to jail. Everybody protests going to jail so if you can kill people walk protests who are high and not resisting that news or like money drugs like cocaine. That's like people doing clubs right if our grand cross you. You're in law school and i was gonna. I found cocaine on you and you had some. Because i knew it was on your note. Lets you know. And it's a clubs in your white hit from you know. I'm not gonna say at the middle of the country but let's say you're white from new york anywhere in the five boroughs or dockers. Orange county suffolk suffolk county. Any of these places. You're gonna protest to i. I don't see. I don't see this trial as as the like. Don't see the big. We don't see how right. i think. This is just one of those things that i i remember watching though dave simpson case right i lived in the bronx with my extra capital time and i had duty that day that night and do the next day i was off that day at night and i'll just sitting there was i wanna say it was friday. 'cause she it was the afternoon and she wasn't in the house issued a schoolteacher. So i remember sitting there watching it by myself and thinking. There's no way. I was completely totally surprised by the verdict. But you still have to listen to what they were saying in that trial to either get him off the hook for it or pinned him good to the wall on. And this doesn't seem like any of that. This all seemed like yup. We knew it was back when he was doing it. And we all said outlets. Get the professionals in here yet. we didn't. We didn't teach him that. I have seen that before. Okay well let's give the donald one operating here. I thought it was dead. I've never heard such all right. So lawson's referee seem very. We'll all agreement that this was an amazingly my language thing to do to a person and you didn't in broad daylight and you did it with such arrogance and and does willful disdain. For what the public who widely thought about it. I don't see how anybody that i've seen in in this trial i've seen nobody go. Yeah but right and he and his lawyers trying to go while he was high. You have to make guy like well. You know people right thinking about the tape and he was. It is done intimate question. He wasn't hitting your back. You know what i mean. You wanted resisting other than bourboule. Kinda like allman. Don't don't lock him up. They even show where they were trying to put him in the car. And the other friday phase only does seem weird and and all the things that they're trying to hang on it and i don't want to say good police work by only good police as how business done doesn't seem to engage with the trial at the brings that this had and then i'd be curious about the trial. I think people are going to be curious about the verdict so when the verdict comes on i will re to but for now. I don't know anybody who like. Did you see that trial today. The on like i. If i could just chime in in product the end product is in people interested in the end product. This person is no longer here and we were able to watch well over nine minutes of the reason why he's no longer here right so i think right now and why. I'm kind of refrain from this. Wanna see this thing run. Its course i wanna see so running. It's it's going through this motion. Then the defense is going to go into come up and so in tony de. We're which you were waiting on. The verdict due process is understood but totally agree with you. I just want to see how this is going to This is going to go. I'm not just it's not cheap. You know all these other trouser to hear the case he acne cake with a child. I can't believe it it was it was engaged by you tuned in court. Tv to see who would say what that's why the popular right. It's just. It's why of america's most wanted was popular right. They're not going true. Shoplifted a blue lighter here. He is on security. Can you be like what is this nonsense. It has to give you some some. I guess human disgree like interaction right. It turned to capture. I because to the normal person you are. I you hear this. Who would do this to their mother. Daughter son brother wife chao relative co worker. You know like like what. That's not murderers that whole verdy look named for Who convince other people to give money bernie. Madoff birdie made up. I will not hurt that out. Like how much money did he have. He keeps up floating. You know i was just stunned to hear it so when the trial came out i tried to watch that but between humana wallpaper it was sup- over my head but this is different right. Nobody the ditlow is no. I have yet to hear engaging anything from the lord's this thing. So i'm just like all right we're gonna see how will the case plays out because it has yet to be surprising where you have a good reason. Why a compelling reason why in others went down the way did not what he was drawn with a show me without a bad day or not you know whether he trained that way or not whether it was Whether the bill was out it or not it all comes down to london that led. What leads these no one so in with you watching the trial. There's no subject matter experts that you've come across as many weakness out that day he'd been hold on hold on one thing but he was finding normal but hold on so these no one. That's been a witness so far that was talking or providing any type of information that you didn't understand right right is all be going over. Says this happened okay. So there's nothing there's nothing the prosecutor can tell you that is that you don't worry no right to defend. The only interesting thing can happen. Here is the defense has come up with some interesting thing. And they had that me being on the defense team. The defense team is going to tell you. George floyd killed himself or drug use killed himself right but we all see the video video. So he didn't he didn't even at the point is people will say. Look if they say he was he was exerting himself that he died and according to say it's hard exploded because they had drugs in. We would all hate that club your thousand times more plausible van will he was just high and i stepped on his neck right. 'cause i can smoke a ton of joints the most that you will get out of me. Sleepiness is the most. You'll get the most business right. It's not gonna mean a. He didn't have marijuana's woody. Apathy forgotten had veterans. Amphetamines outright pills right. So even if even if something is notorious will like like put your sleep is also on camera and you could say if he had fought you and the guy said he had insulted me a lot. Well it is but it doesn't matter what he had listen if he didn't resist you he could have had aspirin in his system. Right so does matter is cocaine or heroin or marijuana. Pcp lsd if the person isn't fighting you and is on camera that you do what you did. And they offer novas Resistant to offer up to you is verbal. Come on man stop. Leave me alone debt. I don't see how that gets you out of the position that you're you're using it. Daniel j thank you for describing. No i totally see it trying to listen to what what the defensive argument was. This whole thing went down. And i don't hear any of that so that so now i'm just lost my interest in the case In the the way the court is being tried in the in the the Courtrooms and. I'm gonna come back when the verdict comes down or less. Something new and interesting happens. Somebody gets thrown out. Somebody's matlin love with chauvinist sending love letters. You know out of what somebody to sleep in a courtroom. Whatever did i reaching back in. But yeah it it. Just things digest seems slaughter. I don't say cruel to watch one. It seems and this is a problem with courts. I used to say in court waiting for trial to watch the court county court cases happen they will put you sleep like nyquil and a hammer to the head. You know what i mean. It's it's so hard to be interested in and we all should be interested because once you turn your back on like the legal system they do all sorts of stuff right. So i mean yeah. It's it's not. it's not interesting. I it is that is. It's hard to watch. So yeah i. I think he's not interesting more hard to watch because it was horrible. It's probably the worst video you probably have ever seen in your life. Yes yes is is. He's everybody says he's in the store. Everybody said yet you could tell it was high. Call gelin body chips to nonsense. The amiable to people was being painted by us. The big dude you could get was to be paying the but when about his business electing knows so is not gonna car wintertime to get up knees under reservoir solely bills now so hey We'll come back next week on on this. Because i wanna see how. This progresses wanted to see how this progresses. That's why i've been really. Had you know outside of a couple of statements harry too much on it because i wanna see out. The case is laid out. Because like i said we know the end result. Yeah today at the capitol building. I don't know like for me. It just seems like things are just getting worse and worse from you know school shootings to the situation in georgia with the massage parlor to you know asian americans. Being you know. Brutalized out there across across america. So we have the incident at the capitol building right. No and i it. it came across your screens. It came across your your phone. And you'll like and i'm like oh here we go. That's the first thing i said to myself. Here we go. Yeah you know because you don't know. Yeah i went to the panic. Bottom is just like conditions continuation somehow of like january six right that very panicky position of boy but yeah but it looks to me that it was guy some desperate crazy person's right there at the press ops. He's he seemed to have been a long. He's got no no no organization. He's part of or any of that. He does seem to be some random from random. So so tell me. I mean louis farrakhan was trending today on social media likely legend. Yeah so yeah. He had no philosophy right of the guide strikes me as someone who lost it all in tried to sort of like find stuff again in religion. Second hold on hold on hold on when you say lost it all. What do you mean by loss at all. He was an employee. I mean he had like no familiar social relationships right okay and he was he was sort of flounder against society. Okay which. I hate to say it but that's a lot of people you know. There's a lot of a a lot of people took that description consent a lot of people. Yeah they have no romantic Connections they have no familiar. Colette connections and they have no just a fraternal connections. So three of the five ways that you love somebody already out so glad it's and you know they're not those people who are precisely alone in don't know anybody these these connections matt. You're you're an animal. I hate to break it to you but yeah and you heard lead that solitude only works on some of us our my hand over here. I like my solitude but that's not most people right and when i don't wanna be solitary. Do i dive into my family. Got a big family. And i'm happy to have all of them and they'll tell you if i'm going to long they will call me up and be like what have you up to. Where have you been you know for. Yeah but some people look man. I'll tell you everyone listening. Solitude is a luxury it has always been a luxury. You're supposed to be surrounded by people right and every now and then to wander off into the woods to connect to nature's nights but you always come back to the people you know it's another thing to be outcasts from society which is essentially. What's going on here right. Peak these like armies of young men with no connection to anybody. It's a problem. At least we can make their own connection. They birth right. You've got somebody to follow you around until eighteen to tell you that to date wrong or they you know but whatever the case may be these young boys about twelve Better having interest or be looking towards something or if they have questions you might want to. Have somebody help them find those answered. I don't know. I don't know but all the solitude or the the was it the bravado. I don't care. I don't need nobody that hip hop cells all these generations. The kid you know when you're alone by yourself you know shows so. I was seventeen lot of everybody that you have to just allow yourself and that always stuck with me so if the idea that statement is that if if i if i'm a khandu and i'm i'm telling you like kanu you catch me out there the end the day. I know that i'm a kind. I'm drinking my own les. I'm not telling you anything that. I'm not so if if i'm a hustler hamas long if if i'm mom mannered and i can play a bowl character at the end of the day i had been the r- added because there's gonna be a situation where you know you're not able to to live off right. You're you're you into rooms freely and in. That's that's all i can say about it. You walk into these things you should be prepared for it and everybody deigned the system. Somehow but don't don't fall for your own nonsense right and it's important to know that you pimple could one day you will find. I don't know you are just disconnected from everybody and everything. So do you think did. I'm sorry i gotta jump in here. get you think nowadays. It's easy. I think i'm answering my own question to radicalize some of these young men over the internet. Yeah yeah. I think we know that the twelve year to twenty years. I mean i i just did that. Nice as al-qaeda did that right. You weaponized table through the internet. So why not be done But we'll do you think that's the case today that yeah but they're the tight and but anything should attack the tight so type doug nixon attack people. I mean like if they if they're getting through to people by you know these lonely guys who nobody will dance with all whatever maybe you need something for the young people do but the case for today's situation it that's what it seemed like to me. That's what it said. He didn't seem like a muslim national. Even though he he kind of messed around with a nation of islam right discount like shrunk yet kind of like huddled around the. I can't even really savings He was looking. He d looked over here. He looked over there. You know he. He put a lot of hopeful kind of suburbs facebook page and then it got dire to like in time stuff in you know What do they call it. A the anti christ in the last part of the bible revelations revelation right so he was talking about religion and all this kind of like stuff in his basement post. That's the sign that you know. I don't know man once once he was telling you what you need to be looking to in bibles who like and a half ago town. You said you twerking videos you know. It's it's it's a hard turn. You wonder why they want. The art turns plays rankled. Most of us we may change but we take these lay deterring that safer that way But making a sharp like right in just move into religion or move into selling everything in joining a abby and you know france love you gotta go what he in. He had had that right and it led him to do this very. I don't know why he did but he didn't like i said my whole doesn't strike isis al qaeda sympathizer person. Doesn't he's a black guy. His wife National obviously like. I doesn't strike me. As black lives matter did lynching them at all right so i would love to have had mentioned them Yeah he just seem guy who lost everything that is and as a man that is society when you lose everything. You better have a rich. Laura a father who's a senator who can cook for you while you're do coke and sit on boards and hang out with prostitutes because the reservoirs they're just gonna get on hits angeles. I'd say this on your show before this used to be the middle class and the media reported on it and now the middle classes here and the media reports on the middle class. It doesn't tell you about the big fill out who are now homeless because About the homeless right. They tell you that the homeless is a problem but when the last walked the homeless. Like tell me a story about by you know i bust my ass. I work three jobs. And i got a divorce and i was behind and then you know this happened and that happened in. You know married again. That i got a divorce. And then she lost a job or guys she'd pass away on when when the football. I'm sorry only when it's used as a political football. Yes because the story behind and they wanna patriots crazy or lazy wanted it to and sometimes you just get caught up in this. A pandemic know how many people who were in bands who were wages just college kids. Wait to same trying to get to the next level. All that stuff has been undone. Dry in a lotta. Those people weren't college. People were in their forties working at. You know some of these places and older the america's only ever. Sally you the the shiny bobble so you can buy is always full of car commercials. In viagra coercion count alliance that the end of the day when people say we want further healthcare. You don't hear anybody talking about it. You know the stru. Did you want like criminal. Justice reform right talked about it. I mean because the problem generates a lot of to you. Want decent police. You want these an education system. You don't wanna be too colds. One of these medical system that makes me a communist or socialist or black revolutionary. Are you know whatever it is that they will tag me as before you get the message that all. I'm saying that everybody should be able to have their teeth check than their blood pressure. Check is it's just it's crazy. Does society is crazy. I mean you got the notorious for mr again. And you've got a run at the southern border. The most people in the last fifteen years. So yeah soapy. So thank you for describing. That's a great name. So so kind of reminds me of bikes looney g or something like that Has this is nine. Parents ways show is late night. Parents dot com With true armor talking about some of today's headlines were at the top of the stream. We talked about their chosen. The followed up with some the capitol building. yeah So i wanna talk with you and tapering. The track. Look with its people is not serious. Then that serious. They're designed hold on hold on john. Oh i'm sorry. John ardmore chimed in. He said be a friend absolutely then he said heard aging like herd immunity right not heard h. e. a. r. d. Yeah like he's not listening. Yeah man deserves the boogeyman in a hostile society. The to keep you says or fellow american. And that's i mean and that's what you got january six right. It was inevitable falling over of this idea that you can't trust your own government and your own fellow american and i mean it's divide and conquer within our own borders so people can stay in power. I said this on your show too. It's like you you don't you don't know what the american citizenry wants. Because you don't hear their voice you only corporate voices are you know Stage warfare us against the citizenry so people can maintain power but every now and then people scream at you of what they want and they want a break from like this data society and they wanna break from medical bills wanna break credit card bills in college debt. They wanna break. They wanna break. So we'll see what happens. Ms vicky thank you for subscribing. I guess we'll go to. I sent you link in group me On a topic which is not near and dear to my heart but something that we should have shared. Weighed that win when it's been started Four quick safety tips for virtual dating. because i think In pre pro we talked about you know. Hey people are you know actual. Let's put it this way. The dating scene kind of dried up and it went ojo totally digital it. Went totally digital. Yeah so i guess we have some quick tips for those who are virtual dating quick safety tip so if you both choose the date virtually whether by at or meeting through a video platform you know maybe two or you or you know twitter live. Here are some quick and easy tips to remember i one be judicious about personal information. You share with someone new while it. That's bush league right there right while it can be tempting to let your guard down the facetime or zoom call. You still need to be careful about what you share as you never know how that person may intend to use it exactly. I mean i think that. I don't i don't date online so this is not for me. I'm greg in my nature in. I like to show up and be like yo. What number number two the race. But it's deeper conversation number to do a little research on your date if you've never spoken with or have met your date before. Do some online research trial police databases to try to learn a little more about them. If you have any questions or concerns try to find a way to bring them on over the course of your date. That that's a little cringe-worthy yeah number three. If something feels off it's okay to walk away if things don't appear to be going well while on your date you can politely exit the date. You don't have to lie about your blaming politely. Just exit the date. You'll have to stay the whole thing out about your planes but you can genuinely think of something that you may need to do or take care of and after the date you know basically the go and do just that not over two dates lead to a warm fuzzy feelings. And that's okay. Uses learning experience and then move on many learning experience. You're gonna get dayton serial killers stand virtual dating this is. This is another complaint of mine about this society. You laid the people so fucking brokers getting the language so rude up. Bet you can't even get together when you stick a bunch of boys and girls in a room that right there the problem you know. That's the problem and then there's trust issues out so that you've got two boys girls girls boys number four if things go well decide on planes for the next eight on the other hand. If you both enjoy each other's company go ahead and decide on plans for the next eight. Having a plan in place can help lessen anxiety and even heightened anticipation to see your date again. Virtually i disagree with that. Have no plan. Adds to the heightened attention right without applying. Let's just play by ear. That's little plan. That's lead back. I have this plan the plant on my reservations than i can get a suit because the more you play the more stress is in your life. You plant them software. Give me wrong but some sun but love in life and laughing. Play that by ear man. Plant john denver's res that john chimes in and says you get one serial killer for virtual date was funny. That's not funny. And he also says you need a good escape plan exactly. If you've got a shovel in the trunk. Do not go out with him. So the other political football then we have so many nowadays because everything is always you know one side says this so the other side immediately says the opposite exact painful and partially part of the reason. I think why we had that. That number of five hundred fifty thousand Was lies your take on the digital vaccine passport okay. So here's the deal. Wait wait for missing year available to get your vaccine right. You took two shots or you took the you know. Two shots of the madonna or the adviser one shot of the johnson and johnson. You are now able to go to your state's website and download the app from the health and human services department for a vaccine passport and basically what it is is on. Your phone is going to. You're going to enter in your name your social and john. That's great that you get in fights on four seven okay wishing the best for you That you can then pull it up because you know the problem now is going to these events or traveling or like you know. Hey i want to go to a ball game. You gotta show a negative test. You gotta show that you've been fully vaccinated a little piece of paper that the hand you that you can laminate at your local store is nice but you. It's easy to lose. Yeah you know. Get that and then like go hang out. You know in some plays unrestricted. You know but the big thing is the counterfeit cards really well. Yeah you know every everyone counterfeits everything. Nowadays i guess that's true sinister so on your on your phone you can get your digital vaccine passport political football because you go from state to state and all the different governors have a different criteria. While really whether they're they're they're pro. You know four. Or they're against it on johnson pitcher with your phone of your idea card in that makes sense. This is like a driver's license right licenses. One truth thing which is just generally like if you get a new york. They respected in arizona education in arizona. Montana known i mean so somewhere along the way is is going to be treated like that right. But how would you well so you cut your clean. Monday doesn't mean you'll be clean friday 'cause you could've bumped into coffee discussing hustle me on wednesday and like you know gave just something you know kids they just but i think France stopped using johnson. johnson johnson. Modern now astrazeneca esters Problems and then on top of that. They don't know how to work with a new variants. So so remember that while you're a at this point you know john says you don't need anything in texas but then again you might get covid there you know. And it's like a coded has but it won't be us that killed coded you know. It's it's really really interesting that this is the next time because remember before was to wear a mask or not to wear masks right. It was hey getting a shot. No i'm not getting a shot where people kill people over the last thing. Yeah yeah i mean so it kind of. That's where we where we are. But i wanna tell you downloaded the vaccine passport right so when you spend when you spend it up. It's good for thirty days so it's good for thirty. He gives you a thirty day expiration those that thirty days you have to go in again into habit again. Well you you're vaccine. I mean let's put it this way you're gonna know around about when you receive the vaccine running into the dates in is going to give you a qr code that can be scanned by tsa by by your local sports team So at the end of the thirty days you test you again now at the end of the thirty days. It's you know. It has an x-ray you can't. It can't go indefinitely so it has to have some type racial right some private license or something. What process do you go through to get the the second one like you know what i mean. You already did. You just go through it again. You name you enter your social you enter you know The whole thing like Yeah you enter that that personal information that you're you're entering in to the app and then you spend it up again and it gives you another valid card. This is no different than your physical passport. This is different than your driver's license. Your driver's license has an expiration date on it right. Just doing it in increments of thirty days whereas your driver's licenses eight years or seven years or your passport is tenures right right to saying. I just think that. If i got it i don't see how they know that between the day i get it which is thirty days. The day expires three later. How diligent. I've been with my kolden sanctions. You see what i'm saying. I get a hug by. Oh lease who who's four. She could give to me like four. They got this thing and then is quiet for thirty days. Don't i think. I think the best thing that they got going. Is this laser gun. Temperature finally got used to walking into the building and people like joy. Little white fucking guns only have to go. You know. But i got shows you because they'll intego who you're you're your your temperature is you know. Hi it's it's instead of ninety eight point six or seven it might women's so so tell me this much. How is a person six feet away testing temperature going to get you at ninety six. Never sixty to worry. But i'm just saying that on. You know you walk into hospitals. They take your temperature. Walk into summa right but are they like right up on you know their boat. Yeah that's a good point They're not. I mean the the laser pointer now. They're the gun is easily this far away from me right. Gave out stretch of degrees. Greasy gonna lose. How many degrees is that going to lose. Your temperature is is right. Up is right on you right right. I don't think it is the true. It's a it's a laser thermometer. Okay is the high of technology right. I mean they use the super upgraded of this same nonsense. Us fought people walking around in the desert with like infrared right. So you just pointed at the temple and and it had this it catches a how attempted the i should. But now i'm not i i i can't recall how it works Of of laser. The your i guess You put your temper your temple and i think of a tech it somehow like bounces back and it tells you that way. What what your temperature it's Yeah so so to other things On get up. Yes i number one. I think those late owners wanting your home. And i think everybody to save them over over right but what i'm saying is i think you should have one at home so that you check your temperature before you even leave the house. You know you're going into public or you're going to work right. You check your own temperature right. But did they have to take your word for it. And we're not just you juno just so that you know before you leave the house right You wanna talk about The mlb in asia and the voting rights and standing on line one hundred feet versus one hundred fifty versus two hundred feet serving water and snacks. The trying to make it three feet and schools is normally Idiots no-one staying afloat apart the general business is about. You know one person's arm length like which is about three things right. So ideally san close enough to touch you and you can say. Don't touch me. You know but julie that's how that's about as far as human beings conversations three feet so when they go yeah. I think we're gonna move the sixty three feet schools that at least at this down here and there during the in like public schools and the kids are taking a beating by the way these little kids like elementary school kids. They're not going to adhere to it. How are they taking a beaten now. Are these public public School kids are they actually in school or are they doing remote school because they're taking over the last thing people want they're trying to get these kids back in school right high water. They want these systems all right but are these kids right now. Are they remote or are they actually in school there their they were remote. Okay okay because number one. How far do you think we fall in as a country. I think that's my end this. I related i mean people be ridiculous with the government now and you got all these kids out of school right and in order to to keep them on par with the chinese who wants to eat our lunch and my do the iranians and the russians just signed a pact against us. That's that should be on saving by talking about that Sergio tackle your tackle kind of like what we have with like on these sleepy western nations. That don't do share more I love you need people to to do three things to carry the forward and by that being you know we all while we don't do it anymore. Pledge allegiance to the flag and no george. Washington started to play for the his holidays. We have to buy into the same law right. We can't we can't all be fighting the same enemy Would different agendas yearning. The american military is the american the american military. I can't have these subgroups inside of it. Just like these. You can't groups of cops inside your police departments. So i mean it is what it is man so A couple of things from the check. John says laser printer. Show tony. check it through your ears. Laid the show. What is happening Excuse me not. Laser printer laser temperature show. Okay check it through your ears like they do the kids. The pandemic started and john also and said depends on the seat in school as to whether they're physically there i think just to chime into what john said is i think not only depends on the school in state it also depends on public versus private. It's been in your wishes right. I mean. I don't know a lot about what the private schools are doing. But i know they have more resources right to have endowments and giant bank accounts so so my son's in private and he has a missed day while maybe they should about the private schools out there doing it and duplicate in the public schools. I think all these people were state have become just incapable of doing anything. Quite frankly right. We really need these kids in school. We need that more so than we need these men and women at work. You know what. I mean you you will have. A giant is what they may have a a a hiccup in your economics. It's a totally different monster. That have a hiccup in your educational systems. Where win these kids. Get twenty five. They don't know how to read. I don't care how to read. You're gonna have a whole different kind of crime. Could you say have smart kids right. Just smart kids. Who are i. guess wild grown. i mean. Remember the eighties. All these kids taught themselves the metric system to sell drugs a gram eighty pronouncing autism. I still no other any of that and other people. I know who can tell you. What I i actually to that. History you know is is like you. Let me peek. Into what what you up to in your in your you know you. Because most people don't either a map person lar- your and unofficial map person. But we have been so. John chimes in and says his teachers private and she's been. She's been there the whole time but they spent three hundred thousand dollars on the air filtration. Yes deep pockets. They've got each back. Because that's what it comes down to you when you were So at the started school year the principal has all on zoom zoom call and they gave us updates the number one. The key thing is like with john's wife with private school. There's there's a certain level of transparency right with this process. Hey here's what we're doing. We've got a private consultant health consultant. That's walking through this process The h that is the he the filtration right. So either you had it. And it's being maintained in managed or you don't have an all the doors and windows. Open that the difference. That's the difference and public school. They are so you know and you know my wife has been a public school teacher You know his arm and event for for twenty five years right and she can tell you the bureaucrats can't you know they have the head so far their ass that they can't get out of the way right love you hit. You hit a certain level of that that saying that you your level of your incompetence in really crude thing because you get to a point where you don't want to rock the boat anymore and you're making enough and your hope that somebody promoted but you don't want really wanna you know what i mean and you're comfortable where you are you'd like to be higher but you're not riding and everybody's got that but man you see in government allot you know these functionaries who just washington dc. So our. it's it's i don't know you know. I really think. In the process of next five years he look at it. Next ten years of these future leaders of these in the you will get to see how heavily there the impact the euro. See some of them. That does the very check savvy society and become that way in the last twenty five years when did not get so phone. My cell phone. Maybe fifteen years ago were fifteen years ago it was fifteen two thousand and six stopping yala. Why i guess maybe it was twenty years. What was my i i i want to say with. Got a cell phone and it was but yeah probably twenty years ago to you had a cellphone in the nineties. Stop did not so. I probably allergy but man while these years crunch you think it's been ten years yet so phony realized but the idea that you know the i team out four years ago who the iphone came. Fourteen years ago come on. Wow yeah so yeah yeah. Wow so now now we might hear about when are gonna cell phone with Profit you think on that. I wanna i wanna get your comments on takhar. he's doing. Thank you for being by Hey i wanna talk about an. I'm not sure if you got to use the the till. I was talking about it a little bit earlier. During the lunchtime chat so periscope over. Yeah over I had no idea we're doing great. We're doing great. I had no idea that impact. Because i wasn't a paris koper so we don't understand the full might be people. We don't understand the the full impact of turns coke you know and i just saw over this last week. I saw the passion coming out of people. you know. because we're podcasters. Were you know we started getting into video but looking at the relationships and everything else that has been built with people In this in that periscope community seeing close down seeing the motion like how people alike. It's the end of the world like at first. i chuckled. Are these people for real. You know but then you start to see you know. Hey if you've been on a certain platform or communicating with people for you know the last five six years platform. I could see the reason for the reason why they were kind of you. Know losing it but We're here on this platform. I you know. I'm hoping that most of the good people come over you know. The trolls can stay. But i don't know. So you were periscope or so. You really can't talk about it. I think age-specific tiktok like i know what it is. But i don't do it. But i like our money's refuse do it. I think it's pacific. No I don't know john dicara. Tony where you guys. I mean i i'm guessing. You guys are periscope as you guys are sculptures When did you guys use. Periscope start using periscope. That's a question. I would have for for you guys. It happened of his own now. I'm on. I'm on on a stream but what time you need me to come pick you up all right. I believe that's important right. Yeah it's it's so two thousand fifteen. Yeah i mean it makes sense. You know you create a lot of relationships. Tell me these he was doing it for a little bit mid totally make sense I never went. Live on periscope though i would join lives and stay in the okay so colorado. Don't they call that lurking. Is that a bad thing. If you in the comments on this back. But i guess permissible. I was the bad thing. No commenting if you commenting is one thing. I mean it you just in the background like go walking. Oh okay yeah. That makes sense if you're talking in the comments a that means now but everybody's got different etiquette. Get on offense like when you join now you you you you you you join a strain you said hello and you china and and you provide some of the emphasis on it in or you don't or but hey that's the new rule of things you know i was gonna get into mainly all moving the all star game. I don't know if you have any thoughts on that and we had two other topics right. Well they they moved the all-star game because you want to fill i'll because the draconian voting rights bill that's being put forth in georgia is looking at knossos. They already have their Right so the okay. He's he would your your georgia voting rights bill Everybody's got a problem with people. Just say probably and people outside just say are now. I guess would be known as economic sanctions right internal economic sanctions I mean this is the problem the people did. It should be removed right. 'cause they'll try again later so major league baseball did a good thing by deciding to move all star game I mean they'd taken the stand right silences complicity so the technical sense Of a man voting rises a thing. And it's we all is not a black. A black or white thing is voting rights voting. Play these games have staying power and they normally wouldn't be. That goes back to what i said earlier about. You know what the real face. America is because people cook the books on everything and and fight wars at the The population doesn't want four. And by that war you know a political battles right. So if you'll let me to head you know and i was able to to Catch all the dogs. When i wanna do what i wanna do pause because i gotta go pick my daughter up from work. Oh let's let's wrap this so we're going to wrap this family if you're gonna be up i'll definitely be apple so myself all right so we'll restart this again in about thirty minutes. Yup gotta get out there. John already but that mask on you know. I'm john but my daughter hasn't adams as of next week she can't get vaccinated right. So it's like my household was half and half you know. My wife has been acceded. I've been accented with the kids. haven't been right and the kids like to go to the mall. And they like to run around and he liked to wear their their chinstraps. And i like that. Yeah are a so. I'll be back in about thirty minutes. This thirty minutes. The all right thanks everyone. That's that's chat in the chat would really appreciate it and we'll be bad.

capitol building Tony de derek chauvin derrick charleston dave simpson tony de ditlow George floyd court county court Tony d doug nixon football america johnson Daniel j ronan John ardmore Ms vicky suffolk county pacers
Mondo Cozmo Topped The Charts, And Then Lost His Cool

World Cafe

54:23 min | 10 months ago

Mondo Cozmo Topped The Charts, And Then Lost His Cool

"This message comes from NPR sponsor patron creators are you tired of being paid in cliques and likes patriotic? Let's you build real sustainable income through the direct support of your fans. If you're a creator sign up on Pat R. E. O. N. DOT COM now. Hey you're listening to World Cafe, I'm. Kallio. When you're in my position, you get to talk to extremely creative and smart people and when I'm really lucky what's supposed to be an interview becomes a conversation like old friends connecting. That's what happened when I talked to Joshua under his band. Mondo? COSMO. Josh. Has Been Making music for two decades, but he never really felt the level of success or pressure before then he did after putting out his hit single shine in two thousand sixteen followed by the release of his band's debut album plastic soul. He toured and promoted plastic soul for a year and a half non stop, and then came the moment where he felt pushed over the Edge burnt-out. Frustrated tired. He put his hand through a pane of. Glass. It's a devastating injury for guitarist, but somehow it became the start of Mondo COSMO's new album new medicine. Today we'll talk about that and more, and we'll hear live songs recorded during the band's final show. They were forced to shut down their tour in March because of Covid I'm really excited for you to hear this year things have gone right when very little hits the cutting room floor. So we begin with plastic soul it's Mondo cosmo recorded live on the world cafe. Shave. Search. I. Go phillies whatever. That's Mondo cosmo a performance of plastic soul recorded live in ardmore Pennsylvania. The new motto COSMO album is called new medicine. I'm Kaleo on the world cafe joined by Josh. Hander? Welcome back man how you doing. It's so nice to hear your voice and it's so nice to be. Here I'm a huge fan of the show. So thank you for having me back and and for the support just means the world to me. Our pleasure pleasure we're in month six of lockdown. We're all dealing with covid nineteen in the pandemic I'm in West Philly you are in Los Angeles I'm actually in a town called twin peaks I moved out in La I was like it took too long to go to the grocery store Mike Out. CONGRATS on the move How are you doing how you feel with with everything that's going on you know it changes daily I guess Today's a good day. I don't know. It's just like I. I've been struggling a with like the mental. You know just personally not being able to tour. On the new record is really really made me sad we worked really hard on the record and. You know there was a lot of questions of like should we wait to put it out in the fall? and. I was like you know what people need music right now let's just put it out and I'm really glad we did because I I get messages from folks saying you know the record might brighten they day a little bit which is like how cool is at right now you know so. Good man well, is there a you just moved? So I'm assuming that this is GonNa, be the answer. My next question what has been keeping your time you know since we are Kinda stuck. Yeah. It was tough because it was March winner we played the ardmore show. And then it just went to hell and I. We had I had to fly the. Bam. Oh so nobody knew what was happening and? Different Information I mean you should solace in the van driving around really everybody's on twitter. Everybody's got new information about how the thing what's happening the shutdown flights airport. We can't get home. How are we going to drive home? It was terrified. and. I just was like I got to get the band out here. So I flew them home the next day. And then I was like all stick because I had a couple more shows are just doing acoustic thing and a stay at my dad's and. I just got a guy to have I fell I started to feel like a weird. Guilt about bringing people together just so that I can pay my rent and I was like you know what? I don't want this. I'm GonNa go home and. Home and. I went to the grocery store and it took forty five minutes to just get in, and I was like honey pack you bags were hot air relieving I. It's just. I don't do well in crowd the unless there around the stage. Yes know. Jump into. That's great. Did I totally I? Totally get man? Well, I'm glad I'm glad you're making the best of what's what's truly a messed up situation but the good news you pointed out is that you know you brought some joined people's lives you brought new music into people's lives with with new medicine and you know the record is excellent. Some of it is really borne out of what would be a tough experience for a lot of people to go through A. Glass door tell us what what happened this sort of of freak moment in the recording of this record. They call it the great rock and Roll Freak Out of twenty. Eighteen. man it was bad. It was So before I was even twenty one I was like. I was opening up for the strokes and black rebel at these these amazing venues and Philly and. And before you know, I've ever opening up for. Jet. Who is like the two weeks before the big tune came out you know and really nice guys like. They wanted to go get drinks afterwards. We're like night unless we talk. But So I've been doing this. So long I've been in so many bands and. I never really had any success nobody really cared you know I like I was able to I signed a couple of deals is able to pay some bills with and stuff but. I. Found myself just. When shine went to the radio and it looked like it was going to go to number one I was suddenly just like It was just a rocket that went off that year where. Every day I handed do morning radio show and I did the meet-and-greet and I did the show and then. Are Saying I was saying yes to everything you know what I mean and it was just By the end of eighteen months. I was just fried man I was just it was a lot and then that was it. I was supposed to start working on the next record right then but the label wanted me to do a video. A video performance when we got back and I didn't WanNa do it because my band was fried I was trying to be protective of them and I thought it was a bad idea like they wanted to have him a crowd there in front of us and who was all staged and we would have to perform the songs over and over again until we got it right which I didn't like doing either. 'CAUSE I was like few on and do this. Why don't we just record a show in? Philly and we'll we'll film in. We'll put it out and be Rad. That would be cool like a real show I didn't. We got to this thing was a fifteen hour travel day we get there the next day aiding with all the gear the band is just fried I'm fried. And they bring in these college kid the college group from the label got all the hot chicks and dudes the comedown and it just was not my crowd. And they pumped the heat they crank the heat, they want everything sweaty and. Whole time I'm like man, this is not right. I always prided myself with Mondo COSMO with. Being in control and making the right decision and I freak and lost it I went into that. Into the recording room where they're mix and everything you know and he screamed I'm saying I I screamed everybody it's not in the band get out of the room and I saw like thirty people run for the door. And I got so mad in of set at that. That I turned and I thought I was punching like a foam wall that they have in the studios for soundproofing and it was a glass door and I put my hand right through it and I pulled it right back out and that's when all the. Arteries in my hand. Just standing there. my drummer came up thome any ties it might band around makes attorney Kit and it's just. It's as bad as it could be you know and. I was in surgery until four in the morning. Luckily, there was a really amazing doctor there. That night was really patient and kind with me and. Any fixed you know, I still don't have feeling in my thumb but I can I can play guitar. So that's the terrible story of the rock and roll freak out. Yeah and you you ended up I mean, there's you know obviously that's that's the dark side of it but the positive side of it was getting this opportunity to I don't know maybe you know I think going through a traumatic event changes sometimes, and it sounds like the writing the songwriting came immediately thereafter Yeah and that's a really amazing thing 'cause I was in I was on the road so much and writing on the road is really difficult because you might have like two hours in the hotel room with the acoustic and you know I sleep my guitar players in the other room or in the bed. So he sleeps in you know I gotta be quiet and then. You don't really have much time rates tough. And I was really stressed because I was like I really didn't want to I was really afraid of the sophomore slump. You know I put so much effort into the first record. It just seemed like such a mountain to climb to write a follow up the plastic soul I don't have anything up my pocket. I bust my hand, the doctor puts me on all these medications. In the meanwhile, the medications are just like you know antibiotics. But I started writing I wrote fills the room, which was an apology letter to my wife you know and I didn't plan on that making the record. It was just something that I wanted to write in. And then I wrote Black Cadillac and I wrote come on and. And it just opened up and I went to the doctor like dark. I can't stop writing like what are these pills he gave me like I'm like Jimi Hendrix acid. and. He's like Josh let me ask you. Is like you think it sees antibiotics have nothing to do with anything or you think it's the actual fact that you literally punched the wall and and and and dealt with what had to deal. So. Yeah good point. Doc. but it led me you know I was I was writing things that I normally wouldn't. Right. If I wasn't if I didn't have a cast on you know and But one of the most beautiful things that happened was I had some friends reach out. They weren't even friends at the time. It was just people that I respected that. I got a message. You know I got a message from Peter as one day from black rebel motorcycle club and I spent many tours opening up for black rebel throughout America and I was always a huge fan. I was never on a first name basis with these guys both just like it's one of my and roll bands. And I got this text from Peter as. and. He was just like I. Hear you need a hand. and. Literally hand. And it started this friendship where I was like. You know he's like send me some stuff here and I sent him like blackout and come on. And he was like Oh. This is this is good. Surprised I think and use like it just started friendship and then He was like, do you mind if I record some guitar for this I was like are men that would be so helpful because I can't I can't do it. So he would start enemy files and it just started this friendship of going back and forth on the songs were. I would send them starve and you would record at his house and Senate over and then. when When we needed to cut drums, we went in and Leah from black rebel was like I, love you songs I'll play drums on him. So suddenly had like two-third black rebel my backing band was like I'm doing something right here. This is amazing. It was really that was probably my favorite thing that happened throughout this was a friendship Pete. That's really that's really cool and and you know be RMC just iconic rock records man just huge. We're here on the world cafe talking to Josh a Mondo Cosmo new medicine is the. I want to mention Black Cadillac because that's the next thing we're going to hear people are probably going to maybe gravitate to like hearing Kavanagh's name spelled out, right? Right. So I was wondering like where your head was at when you're you're writing a oh. Yeah So the I wrote the lyrics for that when we were on tour. It was during the Cavanaugh hearings and we would just spend the day watching the hearings like on my own and I just felt. This weird. Sting. During that Kazaam. You know everybody knows me knows I'll make a hugely patriotic. I. Love this country I really do and I'm just like. I was really having trouble. I was coming to terms with like. A country that I was. Are having trouble recognizing, and you know I didn't want to be embarrassed to be so patriotic and to love my country and and also to be a man, I was so mad during those hearings I was just really like physically like me how do you not believe this lady in Ohio and? So I wrote those lyrics and. I wasn't sure about it. And another friend that helped me out on this record was a guy named Butch vig. And he's kind of like a really you know he's a legendary record producer and I asked him I was like butch. Should I put this cabinet line in there or is this just not going hold up like you know two years from now is going to be like what I would do that. You know. And he sat there and he stared off and he looked at the wall. And he turned and he said well. Josh. A looks like he's going to be. A judge for a very long time. So I think you should keep it in. Koga keep. It in. Let's hear it man So the live performance. Very very cool. Black. Cadillac it's Mondo Cosmo here. The World Cafe. Jackie's. God's. Charity. David. Louis C.. All the. Same. Never. All these chains? Soon. To DISA-. That's my dough cosmo with the performance of Black Cadillac, you're listening to the World Cafe Mondo Cosmos News album is called new medicine. We were talking to Josh Strand or. Butch vig man to Nirvana never mind garbage smart studios in Madison Wisconsin. He's an icon he kind of served than. Just reading about it, he served an unofficial Punahou type role. What does that entail aiding get paid but I mean? I you he's very expensive. You know to have you come and work on an on your record like I don't know can't afford them. You know and It. was years ago. I was helping this girl named l. p. work on a song. She was working on a song with Bush at the time, and we were just talking about him and I was like off man butch like do change my life you know. But it was right around the time that Bush did an interview and it was on twitter and somebody sent it to me and they said they asked Bush like any music or artists that you would recommend. Any said yeah there's this guy named. Mondo. COSMO has a song called hold onto me that I just can't stop listening to. And I was like my head exploded I always like what I texted. My brother I texted everybody I was in a band with growing up like. I I mean it's. You know, and then I'm an LP was kind enough. She was like, let me let me put you in touch with them on like Okay. I'M GONNA mess this up but okay. And he invited me over to his house, his house and our walk in and. You Walk in. It's just a really normal house, but you walk in and. The first thing I saw was a picture of him and Kurt. But it was a picture that I've never seen before and I immediately realized I'm like man this guy like was friends with these people like you know what I mean like these people that are just I cons to us. He was he was just hugging them in you know talking about life I urge is being friends. And it really like him with me I was like, wow, this is you know don't don't don't be a jerk here Josh like. Don't fan boy out I. Guess you know what I mean. And we just went down to studio that he hasn't asked and we just listened to music and it just against started this friendship of just. ICE started sending him songs every day and I was writing Alah and it encouraged me to write because time I would text him a song. He would come back with notes right away and really eloquent notes not like he had a way of kind of encouraging me to focus on certain songs and kind of like a really beautiful way of being like maybe maybe stop working on this one so. I just you could tell he knows how to talk to artists into into people you know and he's he's just as lovely as you would hope that he would be and he's just you know tax all the time store still just like he's like man listening to the record on on stunned level he always says stunned left on level which I soon just means a really loud. and. He you know. I just. I appreciate him so much and I'm just here I just. Thank. My stars every day. The guys in my life are believable. I noticed that you wrote all of these songs for the most part by yourself. With the exception of one of the. Come on with Dan, Dan. Wilson who for audience will know is you know semi sonic frontman also co wrote someone like you from Adele not ready to make nice. If you know the chicks you know that's that's guys you know pretty much known as one of the go-to people he's the Grammy Call Yeah when big artists need a song that's like. Are We? We need a we like all day. How do you connect with him? What's what's what's that experience like So I struggle with writing with other people I don't I've you know when I I've been asked to do to lie on to sit in a room, and I'll try to write with them and it is a trainwreck of all trade like I think people leave these sessions and they quit music afterwards come on. The exact. is at the like working under constraints is it just not knowing these people? So you know a lot of times I'll ask you and I don't do these much anymore but you'll. You'll go in for two days to write with someone and you know you'll go from. Like ten till nine or something and And I always got frustrated because the people that I would go into the rooms with WHO are professional writers. They. Want to leave that day with a finished product so that they can go to their manager publish earn be like this is what we did. We wrote this. And I don't work like that you know sometimes. I'm best left to my room where I can sample my dog barking for eight hours and try to make it sound like a say you know like I don't I can write simple corridor songs but. I struggle with I'm usually best left to my own devices. But Danny. I calmed in I think he gets upset I danny. is just the Zen master of being in a room with a writer. I would I went over to his house several times to rate with him, and for the most part, we just sit around and talk about like Keith Richards and rock and roll, and we just talk about music and. I realized what he was doing was he was just Giving me friendship and showing me love and not putting I think he knew there was so much pressure on me that he was just. Going the other way with you know like. Good will hunting style or something now, and it was just really beautiful and then. After, we got together a couple of times I think he realized like. Yeah right song and. So he's like. I'm like. Well I. I heard This song yesterday on the radio and I always just loved it and I was like, why isn't this like the biggest song ever and it was cracker crackers low remember that tune Oh man David lowery master songwriter and his own in his own respect I heard on the radio. I was like man I would love to hear something like this on the radio I think people would be really excited about that Danny. So we use that as a template and kind of like a PM like a vibe setter, you know Danny's really worried about getting sued so you can't go too close to the song. So we Danny care. But Only David Larry's the guy who sues for Rights on spotify. You probably don't WanNa mess mess with him. We just use that as a template and we wrote come on and and I learned something that day because like Oh, this is cool. Man I'm like, okay I WANNA take this homework on it. He's like he's like I want you to put a scratch vocal on it right now. As. I don't WanNA sing in front. He Dude, it's like torture. You don't want I. Don't want it just. Let me go. And he forced me to it. and. I learned something that day I always since then put a scratch vocal down because something magical happens you'll get a it's cool thing where your brain just like let's go and lines come out that you wouldn't. Maybe. You weren't thinking of to write down I don't get it fascinates me though and I wrote a couple lines in that song come and watch the city burn. That was just like a scratch vocal like 'cause Danny and I were just talking about the fires in L. A.. There's a couple of lines and they're like, wow, this is really really powerful. So I learned that from from him I was so proud to get a song that we worked on. On the record and he's just he again same as butch same as Pete just like this guiding force that. The Holy Trinity of those three people just got me through the record. Really Beautiful. Well. Let's play a little bit of the album version of command so that people can hear what sort of became of this. Really Great. You know sort of songwriting adventure between you and Dan Wilson This is Mondo cosmo come on here. Cafe. See me. That's a little bit of come on. That is from the new Mondo COSMO album new medicine talking to Josh about Songwriting, working with Dan Wilson, working with Butch Vig. Up Next. We're actually going to get into upside down Can you tell us a little bit about how this song came to be? H use upside Darren it's probably like one of the last songs to make the record and. Recorded, it honestly man. Two days was don it was Kinda done out to the first day? It was just really fast that one was written during the the impeachment trials. and. I was just waking up in watching the news nonstop and it became this weird obsession and where I just had it on all the time I had it on in the background. I was just jumping on twitter every ten minutes to see like what new information there was. And I got really annoyed with myself because I've had this in the past. We're like I'm like man get off instagram to just go to work like there's no top five moments of my past five years where Mike all remember that post. is like it's so. It I get so annoyed by I understand the importance of it, but it's just like. But the same thing with the news I was just like Dude, you are. You're wasting your life right now watching that something that can be wrapped up in thirty minutes you know. So I wrote that song and it was just essentially like. I know the world is ending and I know I'm obsessed with the news, but I would still like to go have a drink with you at the bar and that's that was literally like bushes. Right? I wanted to write that. well, the the live person that we're going to actually hear from ardmore Pennsylvania which. Man, I mean. So this was what they said. This was the first time that you'd ever played it live. Yes. So the ardmore show. That, was our last show that we played and We didn't know that was going to be it. You know and We wanted to play upside down because we realize that we didn't know how to play yet. So we practice at soundcheck. and. The, band turned to me and they were like we referring to how everything is upside down right now and the payments like Jesse got put this song like today in our Tanqueray. So we We talked to the label like can we can we put this out and Kinda just took off and has been really It's been really great and I feel good as an artist as songwriter but the night before upside down came out. I was like Oh. My God this is it. Everyone's going to hate this I'm going to be a fraud and I'm going to be landscaping again, and it was just these are the thoughts that go through every release. It's terrifying because you just like this is it. You know but you a leading up to like this songs. Awesome. I can't wait to hear this. Why don't we play Why don't we play upside down man it's like the first live performance, which is me, which means a bunch does here at the World Cafe it's Mondo cosmo live from Ardmore PA. Here is upside down. The causal. The chew. Up All. The Join. Out. So. Zone. Seven. was in the. City. It's more. Share the traffic. On Saturdays. That is the first live performance of upside down from our guest Manteo Cosmo in performance. Hey, here on the World Cafe, my name is Kallio hanging out with Josh of Strand who is the front person and creator of Mondo, COSMO the new. This called new medicine. I was thinking about this You did something that a lot of people don't actually have the luxury of saying they've done maybe luxury might not be the right word, but you were signed to majors for upwards of fifteen years between Laguardia in eastern. conference. Champions whether it was on republic records or Geffen. you know the music industry has changed so very much in in the last twenty years I'm just curious what your perspective having that view from the inside out was like it was. That's a great question I am. I Don I found it easier to get signed coming up. Then I was to get fans who is a weird like there was something in the industry when I think they're looking for something that. An alternative act or something so we had great success with getting signed. That doesn't mean you get a lot of money, but it just means like you know. You you have the ability to. Have a team around you to help you know. But I think you know a label is only as good as as you know the artist and the effort that they put in you know I is a twenty four hour gig man it is like. I'm obsessed. You know that's why I don't Stop I. Just I crave it. My happiness on a daily basis is based on if I'm working on a song that I'm excited about, which can be really hard for my friends and my family because I'm just I can't stop. I think with covert. It's been kind of Nice for me because I've been forced the kind of like breath watched some net flicks inches like you know a and chill and I was writing a lot. at the top of COVID. And then I just got really sad and my heart her you know it was just heavy and I am I didn't rape for a while and just recently. I've been hidden like a writing streak that I'm pretty proud of so. I don't even know what the question I'll just talk. I'm so sorry was it question? is about life the exponential university work? Yeah. I honestly think you don't need a label I think you just need to hostile. And that's what we do every day we hustle you know it's really nice to have you know somebody making sure that the the merge is getting out. Okay. But I'm I'm making a phone calls man I'm like these people ordered this stuff. Where is it? You know like these their hard earned money why didn't this Ya you know every day from artwork to music mixes two phone calls the emails is just You have to love it and you have to be you have to be obsessed I think to. You know have a career in it. Maybe I don't know where he just like you're just really. You're listening to world. Cafe I'm here with Josh of Mondo COSMO, the new album for Mondo, COSMO is new Madison. You think about being a hardworking band there's a lot of things that go into it, but one of them is sending out typewritten letters to everyone who buys a special version of your new album, which is new medicine. That's not a that's that a story. That's the truth was the inspiration for that I. Am I have this old typewriter that I write all my lyrics on. It's like a nineteen sixty to Olympia and it's just. I love it. I really helps me focus on lyrics. 'cause I'm I'm literally typing a physical thing where it's like if I was just type it into my phone, I might just be more careless with a syllable or word or some. So you really you're hyper focused on the lyrics so I like that I had a downtime home. You know like I'm not. I would normally be on the road all year you know if the world was an end in and I was like, what? What would be something cool to do for the FANS I. Spend. Their heart 'cause I'm going to be honest man I just. I, felt a lot of. And I did not like selling tee shirts and selling vinyl during all of this because I'm just like. I was like man people are having trouble paying their rant you know and I just felt like such a jerk be like new shirts available. And I I really struggled with it and. You know talk to the manager and the label where I was just like man I. Don't I don't WanNa do this I don't know what to tell you like I. Get it. So like what's something? Really cool there I could do a thank you for a half to sell it. I don't have that much control. Yes. So I was like well. I I would like to get a personal is letter. If I you know how cool would that be if like early days? of a of a ban you know you get a letter from them when you bought something. So I just like I'm going to hang tight. A letter and I'll get their name on there and I'm GonNa know exactly what's going on in a lot of these people like I know from social media so is able to be like. Reference something that I think would like make them feel like, oh, he actually wrote this you know. And it was a really I didn't know you were going to sell as many as we did which really. I mean brother I had I had fourteen days of writing letters and I was like, wow, this is an It was so encouraging to me like it was a lot of work and I don't know if I'll do it, but it was It was a beautiful thing and it Kinda cleared my head and. It made me really want to get back to writing music and not typing on a typewriter. That's beautiful. That's a little. That's a lovely story until the carpal tunnel. Can You? Make dumb that don't work like. L.. In their spelling mistakes that you wouldn't believe. I was I. Think I was I. I think I was writing. Generosity and some of them and I was not spelling it right and I didn't realize until like letter eighty. Why are there? No Red marks underneath the word indicating that I have in fact spelled incorrectly I do have to ask you right. So you start as scratch when you're when you're writing lyrics or do you literally sit down at the Olympia and start typing away I usually have an idea I have a pen that are really like It's like this little it's a Lapenne I don't get paid by them by. Ben and I love it just like it's really smooth can write really fast with it. So usually scribbled down stuff there. And then when it comes time to I usually, if I'm working on tune, I'll try to get done in that day so that the you know The the colder are burn and on. You know I feel like if you sit on a song too long it Kinda. It takes longer to get done. So I'll go right to the typewriter and Once I have a couple of lines and I'll just start. Start working it out and I like seeing the lines of I like. You know doing the. It's it's stupid and it helped me get off I don't. Should I do that like I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Do you. No easy phones. Voice Memos. Your friends. I. Get you mad. We're here on the World Cafe with Josh from Mondo Cosmo, we got one more song. Chemical. Jury, why did you pick this one for us a I picked this one. You guys ask for a couple of songs and My uncle just passed away and he was fighting cancer. And He would listen to my tunes during Chemo. And he always would References Song, and he was like my life as a chemical dream right now. So. This one's for him. My Uncle Kevin. Let's hear it. It's Mondo COSMO recorded my for the World Cafe. It's chemical. Susan's girl. We all citizens go. Systems glow. Systems. Forty. Six. Sorry. Copy. opposite. Syndrome. Record, life for the World Cafe in. March in Ardmore. Pennsylvania. That is chemical dream from our guest. Mondo COSMO WHO's new album new medicine is Now Josh. Absolute pleasure talk the this has been the highlight of my corinth. I'M GONNA. Thank you. Thank you for having me. seriously. It's been such a fan. So I'm like geeking out over here. This is awesome. Thank you very very much I. really appreciate it now our our pleasure and just do a salad when this whole thing blows over, we expect to see you in the studio and we'll do this performances just just the three of us, the four of us whoever whoever's involved with the recording of this thing, right? You like it's my job. All right man I appreciate it. That's my dough COSMO. The new album is called. New Medicine will be back in a moment on world cafe.

Josh Strand Mondo COSMO World Cafe Mondo Manteo Cosmo Butch vig twitter Cadillac COSMO ardmore Pennsylvania Dan Wilson NPR Joshua phillies Danny care La I COSMO Mondo Cosmos News Pat R. E. O.
Episode 053: Craig Groeschel Spotlight

The Global Leadership Summit Podcast

09:52 min | 2 years ago

Episode 053: Craig Groeschel Spotlight

"Welcome to the G L podcast. I'm Laurie Herman executive producer of the summit. This is our bonus show. Faculty spotlight. And in today's episode, I talk with founding and lead pastor of life church, Craig grow shell who is a podcast her leadership expert, and most recently our summit champion, let's dive into my conversation where we get to know Craig a little bit better. So hey, Craig. Well, thanks for doing this. We're going to ask. I'm gonna ask you some questions that are a little different than leadership type questions. You live in Oklahoma, do and have you lived here, your whole life, moved to a place called Ardmore, Oklahoma when I was in high school. And if anybody knows we're Dallas, Texas or Oklahoma City or Moore is where people stop to go to the bathroom when they're traveling between Dallas and Oklahoma City. So my dad was in retail, and we grew up all over southern Texas. And then Oklahoma's been home since then. So how many years moved here in nine teen eightyish? So some people think like Oklahoma, like cowboy countries like what can you tell us is there any unknown facts about Oklahoma that most people when they think of Oklahoma, they think, of tornadoes, which is actually very, very real. But what they don't know most people's that. We have a lot of earthquakes. Now you're kidding. Earthquakes, that will wake you up and make you say prayers if you haven't prayed in years, real earthquakes. Yeah, that's kind of scary. I think it's I think most people say, it's because of the oil, and the fracking so relatively newer meaning didn't happen years ago, but it actually does happen now. So tornados and earthquakes and still you stay hundred percents day. Yes. And you have how many kids, we have six kids? What are the ages vol your kids? My oldest two daughters are married twenty five and twenty three and my third daughter will probably be married. By the time. This podcast comes out. We've got a son that just graduated high school, and then we've got two more at home, cool, and the two are still being home, schooled to or still meals with you. Now, do you help with that? Are you like the teacher the principal? What's euro, glorified principal who doesn't do much? But a lot of cheering on. And so to say we home school would be really an overstatement. My wife is a brilliant leader. Incredible teacher. Amazing mom amazing wife, and so I can't take any credit fours way to go. Amy is she's a winner for sure. So with only two at home, though, you're getting close to the empty nest star, you guys have any hobbies, or anything you like to do when you're not working, we, we've been so busy raising kids, that we haven't done a lot of hobbies together. The one thing we've done, consistently whole time as we do lots of walks and during nice weather time, we'll do four or five walks a week and we usually walk about three or four miles together. And I think that's I think that is probably one of the top ingredients is kept our marriage strong because I gives us the time to actually talk just the two of you to of quiet. Just get away from it all. Let's very cool. So, yes. Do you travel much you have a favorite vacation place or place? You've taken the kids have done Steamboat Springs, Colorado for almost every year since my fourth child has been born. So it is summers there for probably thirteen or fourteen years. And then we started doing winners, and it's, it's like a home away from home. We've got some friends that have a place we go visit, and we love it, so summer's coming up. But you go and again, this year, we don't we have a baby another grandbaby coming and a wedding coming. And so we do not have a vacation scheduled it. We're gonna call an audible, we will go somewhere. Yeah. Well, good. What's the best part of being a grandparent, well so far we've got one and I like playing rough and keeping them up late and get them sugar and sending them home someone else out. So that's fun. So you have been the senior pastor of life church for twenty three years. You've grown your multi-site can share a little bit about your church will we started. We started twenty. Three years ago. And we started in a in a little, it was a little garage and it grew since then we ended up being one of the first sites in the United States when I churches to go multi-site, and we didn't know anybody that was doing at the time with found out years later that there were other churches kind of doing some of the same things around the same time. And so we just didn't know about them. They didn't know about us, but we ended up meeting a multi multiple sites in the year nineteen ninety nine and since then we've grown to quite a few different sides. And I think my favorite thing about leading the church, one would be the preaching aspect of it. And then the other thing is just working with the, the pastoral leaders that we have, and so all of our pastors will be an I'll spend a couple of days with them just, you know, my back porch and talking about ministry church, life, leadership and doing that for a couple of days. That's always up at the top of the list of things. I love greatest challenges. So I think, you know, personally what's been the. Constant challenge. And all the years is letting my personal leadership and spiritual growth keep pace with the church. And so if the church outpaces migra, thin development than either become the block the roadblock to the ceiling, or I get kinda run over four some combination of both. And so it's constantly learning. Honestly, what I don't do because there's so many things I wanna do and the things I do have to become fewer, and fewer things, but they actually add greater and greater value. And so as the discipline not to do some things, I'd like to do, and the wisdom to say, not things that really are meaningful or that, that, you know, I thought I would always do and can't do now. So it's keeping up in Charlie, and his later, sometimes challenging, so many other great great opportunity. I can just imagine the options that come your way. How do you say, no, what helps you to make those decisions? I think there are certain categories that are that in years past would have been like a yes, or maybe that now I have to just put that that's in a in a hard no category. And someone said this I, I wish I could quote, give him credit but they said, you're you typically grow into early successes by saying, yes, but your future success is mortified by knows. And I really believe that C had to say, yes, yes. Yes. When you're starting to learn what you have in you to develop good relationships and such. But then when you're influence grows. If you continue saying that you'll be spread so thin that you don't have any kind of real focused impact, so now not only is saying, no necessary, but it's also very strategic. And, and there's a team of people around me that kind of helped me, so I know. So there are a lot of things that never get to me in that way. I'm tempted to say yes, to them, and then other times when I actually go through kind of a vetting process. Does this sound like a good opportunity? And. Honestly, one of the most finding principles of life Trajan that we just don't do what most is do. We, we have said, no to so many traditional things, which frees up the resources to do things like the version bible, which is non traditional. And so the only way we can do a few of those nontraditional things and do them big as not doing all the other things. So there's, there's honestly always five or six things that are kind of, in my heart that I liked to do. But if we did them it would compromise the things that we love to do. And so we do a lot of giving up things. We like for things that we love. So why are you so passionate about leader? Hit one leadership question before we wrap it up. Yeah. You know, I think to me leadership is influence. I didn't say that I and everybody has influence. And so I'm really passionate about helping everyone see themselves as a leader because everyone does have influence, and if you if it's from a spiritual standpoint, we want to influence people toward doing things that make a difference if it's biz. Offices. We want to create jobs, create meaningful products, everything. And again, this isn't my quote everything rises and falls on leadership, and it, it just matters. It's it matters in our families matters, and our communities matters, and our government matters in our churches, it matters in our world if we all can get a little bit better in our leadership, everybody around us wins. And so it's, it's pretty much. I think it should be on everybody's radar. Investing in our leaders. Thanks for all the work you put into growing yourself as a leader because I know you have a lot of great things to share with us and teach us this year at the summit, so you said kind things, but I'm with you now for many, many years, and this gal can lead something fierce. So it's an honor to work with you. And it's a partnership is great. And we've got a lot of good things to do together in the future. That's right. We do have a lot of things in store, and we are just ecstatic to be partnering with Craig Rachelle, as our new summit, champion, you won't wanna miss him, or the other amazing leaders like Boza Saint John and bear Grylls at this year's global leadership summit on August eighth and ninth in North America. So go right now to global leadership dot org. Forward slash summit to register and get the best rates available. Thanks for listening. And I'll see you at the summit.

Oklahoma Craig Rachelle Texas Earthquakes Oklahoma City Dallas Laurie Herman Ardmore principal United States executive producer bear Grylls North America Colorado Amy Steamboat Springs Charlie Moore twenty three years