19 Burst results for "Amy Dresner"
"amy dresner" Discussed on The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Podcast
"Skinny I'm telling you try that nitrate free Bagan and the wild caught Alaskan salmon. It's so hard though like I feel like with kind of going with the amends it's hard when when the attic makes amends to you, and this is like maybe a question, we could ask later in the episode run just WanNa know are you as the sober I? Don't WANNA say so we're person as the non add exposed to be like that's fine. Move On. No you can absolutely not accept demands of people not accept my men's but what if you do accept the amends? Does that mean you have to just get over it right away? No absolutely not is an. It meant. Over telephone. Wrong here me. About the addict being able to move forward or not is that what it is? Like whether you accept it or not I've had people not accept my immense and I have to live with that but we want to clear are like the wreckage of our pass. So it's like so you make amends when you're not doing that behavior anymore it's not just so it's like. I've done this and data, and also how can I make it right? Is there any way I can make it right and if there's a way to make it right or not, and sometimes it's time it's time it's a living amends is just like don't fucking get loaded again like don't fuck me up again you know what I mean it's like I've seen. Fenced I I've seen we do it for us and it's hard when people don't accept Germans had people not accept it and I've had just like live with that and go. Well, I tried and I a different person and I'm sorry that they can't. You know now that you've been sober for so long do you think that they would accept it? It's they want. Excel one was I was seven years and they said they wouldn't even respond. You almost have to look at it like though that's hurting them. Not You well yeah I mean I'm mad at XS WHO's hurting it's hurting me I mean the other thing that I've realize is a lot of addicts are eating it tested for this it's called the it's called the mutation. In the MTA Chaffar motherfucker mutation and you can get tested, and basically what happens is we have a mutation in the in gene that creates the enzyme that breaks down L. method that breaks down a fully and folic acid from green vegetables into L. Full, which is the building block of dopamine and Serotonin so were born not napping having enough dopamine and Serotonin..
"amy dresner" Discussed on Addiction Unlimited Podcast | Alcoholism | 12 Steps | Living Sober | Addiction Treatment
"Through those. I'd say the lowest moment in my sobriety would have to be when my ex boyfriend left and moved out last year couple months before the book was going to be released and It felt sort of very sudden and out of the blue like I didn't really like, yeah we had issues but who doesn't have issues and we're just it kind of felt very sort of like Sidon. And heartbreak had always made me as and so my first thought was like gotta call myself because that was another thing I done. One someone. Would you know? Would leave me or I would you know slip my wrists gone? Look what you did to me, which is so like borderline and manipulative and rive, and then my second thought was like I gotta use the pain was so intense. And neither and I got through it and so when you thought about using, were you thinking about using like in almost like a vengeful way like you know? No, no wanting to style. Feel I just was like this pain is so great I. Mean I lost ten pounds I started smoking again I cried every day I mean people in my entire building just heard me wailing through the walls and heartbreaks brutal are. Brutal the worst. Thing ever, and it's like br kicks in all your childhood stop and attachment and abandoned men and self esteem and sexuality and fears of being alone I mean it's just all triggers all of it. You know attachment issues codependent. Yeah. All brutal just like, yeah. Just pushed all the buttons at once and got through that and I was also really stressed because it was like right before the book was coming out and it was you know I felt really alone and and stressed and. So. I got through that and that was probably the lowest point. One of the one of the most difficult things in this sobriety is also been you know the thing with my mom becoming ill and taking on that responsibility and you know after 'cause I've always been the baby I've always been the one that they took care of an Iowa's the when they were concerned about and the now. The roles have switched. Yeah, and being you know being responsible I mean I'm glad that I'm in a place where I'm sober and I'm a I can be responsible and can handle things for her but it's a very new experience and I feel like I've sort of lost apparent that I can use as a resource go to with her like I'm sort of like having a handle all her stuff. You're like, what are you doing through like even through your breakup but now even with the situation with your mom like what are the things you're doing to continue to nurture your sober part like I always say I have to make sure on a daily basis that I'm feeding my sober part so that it stays really big and strong. So when I'm faced with the challenge of any sort whatever that might be my sober part has to be strong enough to fight off my did you know what? I mean. So what are the things you're doing now to nourish your sober self? I go to meetings as I told you before I don't really believe in anonymity I. think that's very. Outdated and I think it's actually harmful to. recovery and the stigma of recovery and addiction. I think you know now that we have celebrity Rehab Dr drew and intervention and Sober House and wobble. Yeah. It's like let's get real. It's not the thirties anymore. You know there are Paparazzi outside AA meetings. If you say you're in recovery people are GonNA assume probably twelve step like it's you know there's movies about it. There's people are meetings. You know even in Love Judd. Towels show she is in Slaw am like let's get real and it's like so I just people say well, if you relapse it says that doesn't work. It's like if you have if you have cancer and you get chemo does that me and you still died does that do people think Chemo doesn't work? It's like a doesn't work for everyone guess what newsflash let's. Say a works just fine a is around the globe every day and millions of people are sober in a every day. A is just fine. Sometimes we as addicted people don't work. I think that's really this you AA stays the same. No matter what right. But I also think it's not a one-size-fits-all I. Don't think I for some people maybe you know they can do harm reduction. You know maybe they do smart recovery or refuge recovery or cognitive whatever works for you. It's cool. You know I'm not a fundamentalist I wonder if you like why. Is it. Okay for us to be so open about addiction in the tragedy of addiction and the discovery of a discourse, right? It's okay to be so open about all of that stuff. But then people we want to clam up when it comes to our recovery and that's the one is about more than I agree with you I think that's what braves the stigma. That, he was going to break the stigma. Right is more people coming forward and going I'm I recovered you know and giving people hope more. So than changing it to substance use disorder that makes me crazy like let's Polish it up and make it this specific science sounding mean it's like you know it's like don't want to be censored or told how. I get to tell my story and I'm sorry aides had super scientific sounding name and that didn't keep people from being freaked out about it until when until AIDS walk AIDS ride eight people came out and also it wasn't a death sentence anymore i. that's when all of a sudden it went from the stigma went down. Yeah. Not Changing the name. Yeah. I just turning changes interesting y'all I wrote an article about it for the fix it makes me. It makes me so angry because you know I've gotten some pushback because my books I my book is has all the words that they want to ban dirty clean Jonky. I'm for me. It's empowering just own it I, watch a junkie. Yeah. I was just say addicted addicted. That's what I but you're working more in. The industry I don't yet. So I don't have to you know what I mean, but it's like I don't I don't like other recovering addicts going Oh you can't use that language to describe your experience as a really. Yeah. Well I don't know that I don't know that. I feel like substance use disorder really describes me either like I don't even know I don't even think that sounds well, it sounds what also sounds much less lethal and it's like you know yeah, I hadn't thought about you know people are dying. I just like I'm you know I'm GonNa? Be Addicted to almost anything I have to be my love it always. Have to be diligent about recovery my mental health you know I, don't I'm not seeing languages in powerful, not seeing substance use disorder to get insurance or for legal. Purposes is not right. But when we're talking one ex addict who another, let's get real, it's like if someone needs to be like I was a die hard dope fiend remember where they came from. Let them. On Your Business Rain. Other people, policing my language. You know. So in words are powerful but I do feel like I should get to choose my own yeah. You your experience and a lot of people were like I bought your book because it said Junkie you know my girl will substance use disorder hardly would have been quite.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Addiction Unlimited Podcast | Alcoholism | 12 Steps | Living Sober | Addiction Treatment
"Terms of how it's cropped up. Well, an eating disorder prior to me ever drinking or doing drugs and to me the these they're all the same eating disorders you know gambling sex addiction. I told you I just quit vaping a month ago and it's like you know I have a line in my book where it's like all I realized sort of the Formula I put something in my body and I changed my feelings and it doesn't matter to Zanex or a doughnut or a Dick I was like you know naming. So for me what cropped up, I wished the exercise addiction but that's been more hard. Time, the one I can't get. Like going. Endorphin rush but I'm not all God you know caffeine and nicotine, but the sex and love stuff has been the stuff that's been the hardest to wrangle in sobriety. Yeah. I went through a break up a year ago on instead of fucking my way through it, which is what I would have normally done. I have been totally celebrate and not dated and just concentrate on myself for this last year. Beautiful. Yeah, which is incredible. Yeah. Just close. Yeah. Closed for renovation you know and just worked on myself and started to work out and quit vaping and started instead of self-destructing are throwing myself into another relationship. It was like, okay. Let's really work on ourselves and our career. All those other things they are their own self medication, of course, and that's that's a way to keep from. You know when I was fucking everyone. Yeah. To me when I was going through my divorce, my criminal trial, it's because it didn't WanNa feel those feelings and you eventually have to feel those feelings. Yeah and it just it just prolong. The grief. Yeah. So it's like you've gotta cry it out. You gotTa feel your feelings and You can't get through it. No. Their only way out is through and blows. Feeling our feelings and it's like. That's the only way and it's like they will not kill you and that was something took me a really long time to figure out it was like okay I'm going to cry and cry and cry and feel like I. WanNa die and feel like I wanNa to put fucking Neil in my I and you know but it's like I will get through this and it will pass feelings pass everything passes you don't have to act on it and I remember my or saying to me he was like you're just remember that you're bad feelings will pass just like your good ones sponsor to like you don't none of that stuff comes and stays. Okay. Sorry. If you guys hear that crazy sound in the background, we are in the heart of Hollywood. So we've got traffic noise and all that good stuff. So that'll be a part of the PODCASTS DO So that's been something else and I did go to some programs for that and it's in the book and I Make Fun of its law essay and all that kind of stuff and But my experience has been that when you work on your core issues, sort of all of those things fall away. Absolutely. So I've been exploring the last. I mean I. Guess I've been to some realizations the last few years, but really thinking about it a lot in the last year or so is food addiction stuff because I'm definitely I definitely have food addiction for sure and I'm just trying to figure it all out in what is that mean and what do I do and all that good stuff but. It's funny because sometimes you say it to people and they'll kind of laugh you know like they don't think it's a real thing. It's not a real addiction, right? Because you'RE NOT GONNA die from it gas or it's GonNa take a long time for you to die from it. But it's so crazy to me because I have the same. Shame. And guilt. Those things I beat myself up. You know just from eating I know I shouldn't eat and in doing it more than I wanna do it. You know what? I can't say eating disorder because I haven't struggled with that but I definitely emotional eater I. definitely overeat I definitely eat for the feelings of edith weren't. Satisfaction and a pleasure something specific that you eat. Do Sugar or starch. Well, I'm huge sugar because that changes your brain chemistry I mean you get. Yeah. Of course, the problem with sex addiction or food addiction is that you have to find a way to moderate it. You can't just be absent and that that's a difficulty. You know you can't just not eat right and just I mean I guess you can. have sex or not date, but it's like you know there's no abstinent. No. So it's much more of a struggle to find that middle ground you know. Yeah Y-, imagine if you tried to tell me to moderate my tequila intake like that's not happening right but I have to do that and I always say this to with eating in gambling for sure it's like because your drug of choice is a part of your daily life. Have those things where because you're exactly right. There's no I can't just not eat right I mean are have to know of course. Would gambling money. You can't function life without having simply enforced shopping or what we have to shop. Yes. So those things are more gambling I guess you could. Not Go to Vegas Not Gamble Online. I. Mean I never had gambling addiction. I've always intermittent reinforcement and it's like. I always make this joke which is like. I'll if I'm GONNA pay for something I'm GonNa spend money. I want to know I'm GONNA. Get you know drugs. So get high you WANNA maybe get drugs maybe get high gambling like maybe you win or maybe like know. Jimmy I don't like that I don't like that and also I'm bad at it. So I, never won enough for me to be like ooh it really hooked me I. Just like my money in my pocket more than I, like it in their pocket. You know what I mean like I say the same thing about like speeding tickets or something I don't speed because I like to have my money more than I liked for the police to have my money. We were just talking about that yesterday. The. Fears that never go. I was asking people I was like so it's been. Seven years since I was arrested and I see a cop in my heart stop something. I'm like, when does that go way people like never unlike it ever goes along? Like I do now I do have a relief, right? Like if I see a cop behind me I, don't have to panic right but I mean listen I don't want to I do go out of my way to make sure I don't have contact with those people. Those People, I told you, I gotta ask. Her I got asked to speak to quote the brass and I was like. A. Yeah I told you I did they did crisis intervention training in the first time I did it for the police department I literally to the entire room for letting me leave. And I did I felt like I was like man. I. Better. Get my stuffing get Outta here because somebody's going to google my record or something like i. don't even know if they're gonNA change their mind and they're not gonNA. Let me leave. It's scary. So where would you say for you was your lowest moment in your sobriety? Even, in your dream, what is your lowest moment in your rioting 'cause? That's when it really matters. Right? Like I have to have I have to get.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Addiction Unlimited Podcast | Alcoholism | 12 Steps | Living Sober | Addiction Treatment
"At that time I just sort of embraced that yet there was a brand in in southern California I think they were maybe in San Diego actually I can't remember both in California and they had they. Had beanies and probably t shirts or something, and I used to proudly where my beanie that alcohol. Was So? Cool. And I did embrace it I definitely did I knew that I knew that I had a problem pretty early on in I was like you I was kind of a late bloomer. Yeah. Getting into alcohol and stuff but. I definitely I mean I knew I did not do it like other people dead. Oh i. knew that I liked it more I never did anything like other people did so I just that wasn't really a surprise and then also I mean my drug use got very sorta isolated. you know where it was me and my house by myself you know writing a new Bible on Crystal Meth for you know up for two weeks on at a time or you're really appreciative that you took. It's based on Emerson in NICCI I should try and the mathematical equation for God. I should dig that out of storage. And then also you know it's so good to row. and. Then just shooting up I mean shooting up is not you know sort of? A group activity really you can't show up at a party and be like what's up guys I mean Eric brought a six pack and some syringes with party. So I tended to you know that's when you know you're really a drug addict and it's not social all just used self medicating and sort of you know doing your thing in your house shooting up for days at a time a low. Just a yeah and like listening to music. Got That I guess toward the end where my tolerance was so crazy how much I could drink. So it was almost always that everybody else had gone home. Or I was a bartender for one hundred years. So I was always at the bar and we would stay after and drink and then everybody would and go their separate ways and I would go home and drink more. So I started to have those times where just like me and my dog Oh yeah. Thank. God was very understand. It does it gets so long. It's really really even isolating like from family and stuff like that because I felt so crappy about who I was I was so ashamed of who I was in what I was doing even though they didn't know the extent of it I I just felt so crappy about everything. So I didn't want to hang out with them very much My family are really great people in their very normal nonsense wonderful mid west people you know and then there's me and I was just you know a frequent lunatic right out the gate and always different and doing things different and always. More, had just had a little extra flare periods new pretty much what was going on. Once I got an like a huge infection, my face from like bad street drugs in in San Francisco, and then I called them and I'm like Oh guys I'm sick and then they gave up and then you know then they were just doing the helicopter parenting like suicide attempts and relapses in six rehabs and so it was. Like were very involved. There was times when they were drug testing me and there was t I mean, yeah where they were sending me to certain therapist or they were sending me to addiction all legit I mean they were trying to fix it every way that they could end. It was really brutal. It has to be such an awful thing to go through as a pair I can't even imagine. Yeah, I mean my. Mother is recovering alcoholic. So she kinda got it more but my father I think he smoked Hash once when he was twenty some music and he was like, fuck that never again, he was just kind of a heavy drinker like Jewish writer guy. But he was really really really freaked out by drug use and we used to argue a lot and he was scared and it really scare you just it really scared. Him and he has not read the full book because there's just too. There's a lot of really graphic description of drug use not in a way that it was is triggering to people because I didn't painted out to be like glamorous when you're shooting coca cheer neck and having a seizure like but also you know in this recovering early days was going through my divorce getting. So bright developed a sex addiction which is. Not that common for most women and I chronicle that to in no father wants to read that his kids so his girlfriend read him the parts that didn't have to do with sort of the graphic drug use graphic sex stuff even though my dad had wrote had written porn when he was in his sixties. I mean when he was in the in the sixties, let's go back written porn in the sixties. But he said it was you know it was made up stories who goes my shoot was made up. Yours is true. That's the difference Don. Hike. Okay. So it's like I, thought it gave me some licenses, the pornographers daughter. Okay. So two questions one I'm really into this talking about how our addiction or even compulsions have cropped up another way right? Because obviously just because I quit drinking doesn't mean I am no longer a detective person compulsive person. and then the second thing is, how are your family relationships? Now my family's ships now are great. My parents are extraordinarily proud I five and a half year sober. They're thrilled I wrote a book the books helping a lot of people get wonderful messages that make me cry and to have taken all the twenty years of pain and degradation and humiliation and made it into something that makes people laugh and gives them. Hope is just like. I mean. What beats that? that so inspirational. So it's like so many of us has addicts like we have the most incredible and phenomenal stories and we're survivors. Time Yeah in there so much to share and the book is very raw. It's really honest. I. Do. Not Want to put this on the page and I was like that's exactly what you need to put on page because someone's GonNa reading all my God me too. But I what about my mother is my mother is suffering from ill health. Now she's I wouldn't call it dementia but I guess the beginnings She's losing memory, and she broke her hip, and she is in a wheelchair and she's in an assisted living So I'm power of attorney and handling all her affairs, which is like the last thing and attic. I don't even know how to do my own checkbook and now I've got to do all her own finances like I'm avoiding responsibility my whole life. That was what being addict was and the universe was like here bitch years some responsibility. Yeah. You get to be the mom your mom enjoy you know. And third yeah. My father's great. He's super proud super excited in.
"Are but mine's pretty funny. I have to say I. think that's so important I agree I. Agree with that. You have to have a since it's so dilutes the shame can know if you can laugh about it also I talk about this a lot with clients and whoever, but it's like I I have to separate my addicted person from my regular person so like When I was drawn. That's not the person I. Salute. I would never make those choices horse, my sober state or signed would never behave. I talked myself into behaving that way to begin with but it's not that that's the core of who I am. But that's the alcoholism that you know that it changes us. It really changes us for sure. You know I'm I. I did monstrous things that I thought I would never do and people still think that person and it's like I'm not that person not just because I'm not using drugs anymore but because I've actually worked on myself to change a lot of those underlying. Character defects, and in the way that I looked at the world but it's like you know I just I'm proud to be a recovering addict like my addiction fuels, my creativity it's also you know addicts a rock star quality to. Ensure no, there's something very charismatic were really intense. You know we can do amazing things we're really creative and really smart and really sensitive the coolest people I, I agree I always. Great that my alcoholism is I say this all the time everybody's priority tired of hearing but my alcoholism truly is the best thing that ever happened I agree greatest I feel the same red of my life and it feels weird to me how people are embarrassed about it or think it's you know some of the weakness or whatever it is because it really is just the best thing that ever happened to me. I would not have it any other I agree with you. Okay. So tell me what was your first time that you recognized you how to problem the you recognized like how you were doing it wasn't normal Say I. Was Twenty four and doing crystal meth and I was just experimenting I had I had a pretty late sort of coming of age with drugs and alcohol. I. Didn't Drink Tas nineteen into any hard drugs slows twenty four and right away I'm living with gutter punks and skinheads and Lower Haight in San Francisco right people were like Total Hardcore tweak irs at right and I'm pretty new I'm this you know. Princess. Trust. Trust too far in WHO's like pretending to try and fit in and I remember. Someone said Oh I found a corridor and I thought they meant quarterback drugs and they meant a quarter of change where where I make a God calm down I meant a corridor. Like change with like George Washington on it and point. Yeah and they were like you could have a real problem with this and I was like whatever you know but I mean I. Knew pretty quickly when I did crystal something clicked for me and I was like, Oh, I need this to be on the planet I feel normal for the first time and I wasn't going to give it up without. Without a fight, but you didn't have that experience with alcohol. Alcohol made me I blacked out at twenty alcohol. Made me so naked and violent like so like I was. So immediately out of control on Booze and so I I tried to stay away from it because I didn't like being that out of control I really I I didn't like blacking out. So I, like I liked drugs better because I could be me and still be conscious and have some control but but change my mood that's what I wanted to do. Right wanted to change my mood but I didn't want to remove all inhibitions were. Shirt off and punching people and all that kind of stuff. The undercurrent I think of addiction period is the we're trying to change are trying to change our quarries about whatever course. So I was a little bit the opposite like I had this really healthy fear of drugs. So I didn't do drugs right I did ecstacy one time when I was like twenty years older something and this was obviously back in the olden day. In there was only a dirt, there was only like one kind of ecstasy right? Like everybody had the same stop there were. I've been out of the loop. So I took it. First of all, you couldn't drink. So is already mad like my girlfriend gives it to me. I swallow it inch by the way you can't drink and I was like why the fuck would you give me something? I can't drink like that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of you met me is was. Okay with it. Okay. Great. We go out. We have our night and it was all right. It wasn't spectacular. I didn't really care either way to be honest. But when I got home that night I was ready to go to bed and go to sleep in the ecstasy was not interesting and it kept me away for a solid twenty four hours was being. Co Speed the end of that twenty four hours I was so angry at every drug on the planet, some more I would never do drugs again because to me, it was a total loss of control like once it was. Interesting. That's why I've never done acid because I thought I don't want to commit to twenty four hours loosening. See I mean I loved keen I can back it up like if I drank too much I could saw I could get something e I could drink some water like a back up. I mean not that I ever would have done that I'm just saying. Okay. Yeah. That's the opposite for me. It was like I had no idea what I would do or say where I Am I always overshoot the mark because I wasn't waiting. It's like, no, no, no no. Yeah. I just didn't like I've that one time where I did took that ecstasy like it was told through up to and it's like I do believe. It when I was nineteen and it was like I don't like I don't like this I hated the hangovers and with crystal or cold, you just stay high for days and days and days you just calm down I mean Li I came back to booze around I came back around to booze again like drank four Loko which because I'm really classy I don't even know if you know what that is. Oh, God is so trashy my last relapse I drank something called four logo people will know this is like if you it, it has the highest it's malt liquor has the highest alcohol content of anything and get like at a gas station or a seven eleven it's. Really sophisticated. Fruit. It's fruit flavored. It has all different flavors of fruit and it has. Caffeine. Thank God for that and so I would do that in drink those in the morning and all my God I mean I'm a nightmare one. I drank truly a nightmare. So I'm i. also kind of you know with my diction I was I was pretty clear. I was an attic from the beginning and I wasn't ashamed of it and I was jus-, kind of like. Oh. I'm a drug addict and I'll probably be a drug addict the rest of my life Knapman I felt about being a drought I went I went to treatment a couple of times and it never stock and I just was kind of like I embraced it. You know how you now embraced sobriety but.
"I'm your host Angela Pugh we are recording in my home away from home. Sunny. Hollywood California although it's not very sunny yet it looks like. It's getting there our guest today I'm so excited about this. I just met amy she's fantastic. She's so much fun Amy Dresner. She's a former professional stand up comic and she has this fabulous book. I can't wait to read called my fair junkie a memoir of getting dirty and staying clean and that is available on audiobook to which I just found out, which is my favorite. So I will definitely be getting it as soon as we are done with this podcast. So Amy, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here I. Thanks for having me. I'm really awesome to meet you in person. I'm glad. Yeah Right. God. You're not glad you're here and I'm not doing this podcast by myself. So I was thinking with your personality, you should have a podcast of God. And everyone has a podcast. I'm time for a podcast You know I'm doing a lot of book promotion and a lot of podcast like yours people people other writers are like teasing me. They're like, are you on a podcast? Thirty it's embarrassing. So I actually made a meam of Colonel Puff Puff my cat going up you're on another podcast for your book please tell me more. So, what other stuff have you been doing promoting the book? Not Just Interviews readings I did a couple book fairs Best places for people to find your book. I'd say Amazon, it's Barnes and noble online. It's on target online nice but Barnes and noble in stores online everyone seems to be buying on Amazon. It's on india-bound. It's on fit? Amazon. Is probably going to own the world pretty soon. If they keep doing same day delivery like I will never leave my house to shop again. Yeah. That was the problem I think with the book. was them trying to push for a pre sales like addicts don't want deferred gratification? You know what I mean. So there I am like pushing. preorder book is like three months away and everyone's like No like they want. Order Yeah you know addicts one instant gratification me with audiobook. There you go. That's says they've never has never seen something like that. With my book, they've seen a one to one ratio of the paper of the of the hardcover audiobook. Me On a podcast and they downloaded immediately. Yes. The. Other part of it is audio. We were talking about this a little bit before we started recording audio is so easy because I can hit play on my phone and I can walk out of my house in it'll play I walk in the House it POPs up on my Bluetooth. Speaker. When I get in my car pops up on my car you're very electronically organized not I I'm I'm Ju Yeah I'm not tech people in general. Speaking for myself not other Jews. We're not that great at that's up except when I was a tweaker I had a little I had some good stuff it'll. Yeah and I was good at taking apart electric's. Fixing them just taking them apart in. Do you really need to fix them once? and. Now I'M GONNA go for a series deal based on the book, which is Super Super Exciting. Okay. What will that look like eyebrow? Oh come on as a little something. Okay. It's based on the book correct. So So based on a true story. Yeah. It's based on the book and I really want the opportunity to be involved in in the writing and I really want the opportunity to do a TV show that shows. Addiction. How it really is Not just these destructive monsters that were sensitive and needy and that we you know it's not celebrity rehab wherever was puking in garbage cans and fighting, and you know that's a part of it but it's like you I don't think there's been I've been I've been watching Patrick Melrose. I can't watch like I'm trying to watch at one of my good girlfriends. Told me about it she is hooked and I. Watch it but here it's so hard for me because of the needles like there's go to in the beginning. Yeah. When I when I started it and the first thing was a Syringe, my heart was like. Were you an IV drug user I? Well, I, was in such a chick was and I still have like of lick a visceral reaction needles and we spend maybe fifteen years since I've shot drugs right But my I have a weird sort of like it's like excitement and kind of repulsion nausea at the same time. But my body remembers I. See it my body goes crew. Is Wife's up wanting watching intervention because that's why I stopped it stopped it was to actually what triggering me freaking me out to show. She told me about that show and I started watching those are the that goes away that's beginning Kelly I can't watch this why I stopped watching out beginning it goes later it becomes more about is abusive childcare becomes. Because this is part. Don't tell me one TV show. That that really shows addiction the way it is okay addicts and why you have is psych wards and mental illness the way really I did a whole podcast episode about this about how we're portrayed in media not only on the addict side, but even on the AA side like how they put meetings and they write them so lame and bright, right? Right. Like we're the Ramos people we're all like holding hands and like. He's really quiet and subdued I like that. The meetings is secretary. I'm like, let's go fuckers I. have no one raises their hand I'm picking I mean people are just like Oh my God. It is so different and they we laughed so lodge we laughed so much. So we'll say on okay a couple of things on the tragedy side. I think that nurse Jackie was brilliantly done a great because I mean it really on the tragic side it really showed for sure. The second thing is this is a piece of my whole, my own movement right of I'm so tired of hearing about the tragedy. Yes. Like obviously addiction tragedy it sucks it hurts people people Ryan every we know all that but here's the thing. There are a lot of us that recover to and I want to start talking about the recovery part I wanNA start telling people about those of us that get it together and change. Our lives and have this incredible live right outside of drugs and alcohol or gambling and sacks whatever pops up at whatever time. So that's why it's so important to me to see that part of it and I don't know that there has been anything television removing necessarily and obviously I don't know everything but I don't think there's been much that has really shown a celebration of a recovering person. Yeah I. Agree with you and also. And also my book is really funny because because I had to laugh at some of the stuff I was going through to get. You know, and so a lot of people who have read it are like, thank you for making me laugh a little bit about it. Thank you for taking the shame out feel as broken I feel less alone. There was stuff that I felt so ashamed at and you made me laugh about I mean it's dark laughter and it's like I'm very self effacing in the book and it's like not that I don't take addiction totally seriously. Ruined my life for twenty years I've epilepsy because of it. You know I almost died many times. I'm not saying that but I'm saying if you don't keep your sense of humor during some of these things, you're not gonNA get through it and it's like it's so true you know and it's like a lot of the pieces you know I've been a writer for the fix for six years the fixed dot com, which is addiction recovery magazine, and that was sort of the springboard for me to write my book and my pieces are very irreverent and ruffled feathers. I say the things that you know everyone's. thinking that no one dare say and they tend to be funny too because it's like, why does this have like the last thing especially, newcomers need is more preachy bullshit it's the and so I I don't know how funny other people's addiction memoirs.
Interview with Amy Dresner
"I'm your host Angela Pugh we are recording in my home away from home. Sunny. Hollywood California although it's not very sunny yet it looks like. It's getting there our guest today I'm so excited about this. I just met amy she's fantastic. She's so much fun Amy Dresner. She's a former professional stand up comic and she has this fabulous book. I can't wait to read called my fair junkie a memoir of getting dirty and staying clean and that is available on audiobook to which I just found out, which is my favorite. So I will definitely be getting it as soon as we are done with this podcast. So Amy, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here I. Thanks for having me. I'm really awesome to meet you in person. I'm glad. Yeah Right. God. You're not glad you're here and I'm not doing this podcast by myself. So I was thinking with your personality, you should have a podcast of God. And everyone has a podcast. I'm time for a podcast You know I'm doing a lot of book promotion and a lot of podcast like yours people people other writers are like teasing me. They're like, are you on a podcast? Thirty it's embarrassing. So I actually made a meam of Colonel Puff Puff my cat going up you're on another podcast for your book please tell me more. So, what other stuff have you been doing promoting the book? Not Just Interviews readings I did a couple book fairs Best places for people to find your book. I'd say Amazon, it's Barnes and noble online. It's on target online nice but Barnes and noble in stores online everyone seems to be buying on Amazon. It's on india-bound. It's on fit? Amazon. Is probably going to own the world pretty soon. If they keep doing same day delivery like I will never leave my house to shop again. Yeah. That was the problem I think with the book. was them trying to push for a pre sales like addicts don't want deferred gratification? You know what I mean. So there I am like pushing. preorder book is like three months away and everyone's like No like they want. Order Yeah you know addicts one instant gratification me with audiobook. There you go. That's says they've never has never seen something like that. With my book, they've seen a one to one ratio of the paper of the of the hardcover audiobook. Me On a podcast and they downloaded immediately. Yes. The. Other part of it is audio. We were talking about this a little bit before we started recording audio is so easy because I can hit play on my phone and I can walk out of my house in it'll play I walk in the House it POPs up on my Bluetooth. Speaker. When I get in my car pops up on my car you're very electronically organized not I I'm I'm Ju Yeah I'm not tech people in general. Speaking for myself not other Jews. We're not that great at that's up except when I was a tweaker I had a little I had some good stuff it'll. Yeah and I was good at taking apart electric's. Fixing them just taking them apart in. Do you really need to fix them once? and. Now I'M GONNA go for a series deal based on the book, which is Super Super Exciting. Okay. What will that look like eyebrow? Oh come on as a little something. Okay. It's based on the book correct. So So based on a true story. Yeah. It's based on the book and I really want the opportunity to be involved in in the writing and I really want the opportunity to do a TV show that shows. Addiction. How it really is Not just these destructive monsters that were sensitive and needy and that we you know it's not celebrity rehab wherever was puking in garbage cans and fighting, and you know that's a part of it but it's like you I don't think there's been I've been I've been watching Patrick Melrose. I can't watch like I'm trying to watch at one of my good girlfriends. Told me about it she is hooked and I. Watch it but here it's so hard for me because of the needles like there's go to in the beginning. Yeah. When I when I started it and the first thing was a Syringe, my heart was like. Were you an IV drug user I? Well, I, was in such a chick was and I still have like of lick a visceral reaction needles and we spend maybe fifteen years since I've shot drugs right But my I have a weird sort of like it's like excitement and kind of repulsion nausea at the same time. But my body remembers I. See it my body goes crew. Is Wife's up wanting watching intervention because that's why I stopped it stopped it was to actually what triggering me freaking me out to show. She told me about that show and I started watching those are the that goes away that's beginning Kelly I can't watch this why I stopped watching out beginning it goes later it becomes more about is abusive childcare becomes. Because this is part. Don't tell me one TV show. That that really shows addiction the way it
White People Go to Rehab, Black People Go to Jail
"Hi Everyone. Welcome to recovery. Happy Hour where we talk about life beyond the bottle and what happens after we stopped drinking. If you listen closely, you can hear my neighbor's dogs barking amp dishwasher running. Thank you for joining me. On today's episode, we've got Amy Dresner I have been following amy since I read her fantastic memoir, my fair junkie in two thousand seventeen have always wanted to have her on the podcast, but I never asked because she's on like every podcast. So I figured she'd just be tired of them by now. And there are two things I need to say about that last sentence one is that her memoir is freaking great. It's hilarious. It's heart wrenching. It's shocking and I personally believe that have to find a way to laugh at life starker moments or else you'll go crazy. The other thing is I didn't reach out to amy to talk about my fair junkie. I. Actually reached out after she wrote an article called white people go to Rehab. Black people go to jail. I run the article and the stories are all told by people of Color. It's well researched and amy's voice really isn't a huge part of it. You can't argue the fact that people of color are incarcerated for drug offenses at a rate. That's not proportionate to those of white people, and if you're listening to the show right now because you want tips on recovery I promise you, they're coming up, got good stuff coming later on, but just listen to these statistics. Okay. For example, nonviolent block criminals stay in prison for about the same length of time as violent white criminals. Here are some other interesting facts to listen to white people are more likely than black and connects people to sell drugs yet, the racist consume drugs at similar rates. According to drug policy. Dot. Org. Nearly eighty percent of people in federal prison and almost sixty percent in state prison for drug offenses are black or Latin X in addition research shows that prosecutors are twice as likely to pursue a mandatory minimum sentence for black people as for white people charged with the same offence. In two, thousand, ten per one, hundred, thousand people in the American population, an average of four, hundred and fifty white people were incarcerated. An average of eight hundred, thirty, one Hispanic people were incarcerated. And an average of two, thousand, three, hundred, and six black people more incarcerated. So. What are these statistics say? Well, they can mean a lot of things. Not realizing that everybody with drug offence has an issue with substance abuse, but the likelihood is higher. So we've got a large number of people incarcerated who suddenly been pulled away from their drug of choice or their alcohol inner sitting and waiting to get out. There's Rehab in prison. There's no recovery resources. You know there's no accountability groups nothing. Occasionally, twelve step meetings happened in prison. So we've got one fundamental method of recovery occasionally being brought to them. So. Once you strip away the privilege of the basics like personal freedom. You don't get any recovery while you're in jail, you're just expected to be absent and that's it. You know related to this topic is also the lack of resources for people with substance use disorder once they're released from jail or prison. This too is a problem that's likely not going away anytime soon, like check this out, did you know that former inmates are one hundred and twenty, nine percent more likely to die within two weeks of release due to overdose? Lack of treatment during incarceration and tolerance levels being so low after a period of absence plays a huge part in that. And also, overdose is the number one cause of death for former inmates. I hear this and my heart breaks. You know because as if recovery isn't hard enough having to recover while you're locked up with zebra resources. That can basically be a death sentence. This relates to our topic on because big picture. We're sentencing white people less giving them more opportunity and privilege to seek out recovery and sentencing people of color more and essentially starving them if any opportunity to recover. Does that sound as backwards to you as it does to me.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Recovery Happy Hour
"About my fair junkie. I. Actually reached out after she wrote an article called white people go to Rehab. Black people go to jail. I run the article and the stories are all told by people of Color. It's well researched and amy's voice really isn't a huge part of it. You can't argue the fact that people of color are incarcerated for drug offenses at a rate. That's not proportionate to those of white people, and if you're listening to the show right now because you want tips on recovery I promise you, they're coming up, got good stuff coming later on, but just listen to these statistics. Okay. For example, nonviolent block criminals stay in prison for about the same length of time as violent white criminals. Here are some other interesting facts to listen to white people are more likely than black and connects people to sell drugs yet, the racist consume drugs at similar rates. According to drug policy. Dot. Org. Nearly eighty percent of people in federal prison and almost sixty percent in state prison for drug offenses are black or Latin X in addition research shows that prosecutors are twice as likely to pursue a mandatory minimum sentence for black people as for white people charged with the same offence. In two, thousand, ten per one, hundred, thousand people in the American population, an average of four, hundred and fifty white people were incarcerated. An average of eight hundred, thirty, one Hispanic people were incarcerated. And an average of two, thousand, three, hundred, and six black people more incarcerated. So. What are these statistics say? Well, they can mean a lot of things. Not realizing.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"Anyway I asked. I was in the supplement section. I was like I need to get a probiotic and There was this. I get a mask on and control these gay or straight. I mean a little once. Why wouldn't you had a huge diamond earring and lake? Pretty is though. Yeah he had really pretty is okay. I've been tell the rest of it because he had a black mask but I was like I said can help. Someone help me. And he goes. Yeah what kind of help you with my pussy and fucking my roommate walked away. It was just like on my ear. He was like. Oh my God and he goes. What's on and I was just like something doesn't feel right and I think I should get a probiotic. It's like aquarium down there man and he goes we'll some people into that in Ireland. Psychic doesn't feel good and he goes. I think any of the probiotic and he was so fucking cool and so funny and he's like I have three sisters. I Buy Tampons for them. And you're good and I got you girl. He was totally cool. And I was so fucking dope and so patient and so generous and made me feel so at home that I wrote to sprouts headquarters and said this guy was amazing. And you guys should know. And they're going to reward him so he didn't ask you to stick your hand down your pants so he could smell just in case. That guy never asked me to do that. I did that too stuck in. He no took. You didn't think to do that and I didn't. I was no I because of the Corona Virus. I understand GONNA PM. And you know. And I was wearing gloves and I'm not I'm not. I'm allergic to latex. I'm not gonNA fucking do that out of control if you if it wasn't the current virus right and you're and you're struggling through this whole thing and you go to sprouts and you're like I have a problem with my pussy and you stick your hands down your pants and you can you this and tell me what's wrong. That'd be my favorite story ever heard. That's that's just that one. Are They GonNa Clinic now? It's like it's like I don't want to be exposed to fucking a Kobe fucking people. I'm scared I mean maybe I'm being fucking neurotic Jew but I haven't gotten it yet. Did it work a lot ear? Probiotic work I don't know I just started. But he was amazing and right. Now that's what counts. Someone being kind to you know what I mean. Just someone like just smiling. What there is like just that China's human connection when people are like you know having the state six feet away and you can't touch anybody in he fist-bump me with his rubber gloved hands and I was like your fucking awesome. Nice so this is a happy ending. It's a silver lining and you got the second Posey Story. I gotta go guys. I love you. Don't be nation. Thank you again misty for the masks. Dave and I will show up at a meeting and stay strong. I love you guys riddles team and go to you. Okay bye bye. So we just had the dynamic in brilliant Amy Dresner back on the show and there's been some murmuring that they haven't heard enough from my father on the show actually the murmuring comes from one person. Only one person is worried. His name is a twitter. Fan called Senyor Dios Mio. I love on twitter. Send Your Dios Mio. He seems to be a fan of Dominicans in my dad. And the board of Ed and I like to have my dad on the show. I knew my dad had no place on the todd episodes so I let him hanging out at home for that one but here he is back on the phone. Dad How you doing okay. I'm good found a little scratchy on my end here. I hope the sound is good. We don't want any any criticism of the sound. Jesus Christ what sounds scratchy. Dad Your Voice. Your voice sounds a little scratchy. I'll maybe it's my phone which I'm talking on the landline via phone. Yeah I don't think you have a good phone anymore. I think it's amazing. How all of the old phones that we used to have the touch tone phones and even the rotary phones. I think the sound was much better in those than these cordless phones. What do you think funny? Somebody sent me a video like on facebook where they asked to seventeen year old to dial a number using a rotary phone and they gave these kids four minutes to do and they couldn't figure out how to how to dial how to use a rotary phone. Dial it's Sorta like me trying to figure out how to do this. Computer stuff The seventeen year olds could not make a phone call using a rotary phone right. Well that makes sense. The dial of rotary phone is particularly intuitive. It's not an intuitive device. But let's let's move on past this conversation because I don't care about rotary phones and I don't think anybody else does either okay. I'm just kidding I'm sorry to do. You know of the CENURE DIOS meal..
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"I'm sorry for such a long email. I hope I'm not bothering you or anything. I just want to know what you think and my afflicted do you think. I'm an addict all my friends. Tell me I am but I can't seem to admit it to myself. I don't think I'm bad enough to be considered an addict. You're recovering addict though. And I honestly look up to you a lot and I value your opinion a lot more because of that. Maybe I'm just looking for validation. I don't know all I know is that I'm miserable and I can't stop what's your opinion. Please answer I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Stay strong dopey nation and turtles for Chris. Love you right I know I mean I wrote back pretty quickly and I said I I'm not. Sounds like she's got a drug problem. But you know you can't tell anybody they're an addict. It's it's knows thing it's the best thing about being an attic that you you figure it out for yourself. What do you think about this whole thing? I it's fucking terribly sad and You know I mean a lot of the stories I relate with. I mean I remember in my book. I talked about Hitting myself for first time and completely overdosing and the guy we had really shitty coke or was really strong coke or something and he was having a heart attack and I've seized coming off of Xanax and I've seized in doing coke known as mentally stable enough to get sober. I mean we everyone is terrified. You know it's like we're all terrified. We all feel that way and I mean fuck it. I don't feel mentally stable now. Jesus Christ you know right but Yeah I mean does she sound like the drug addicts Well I think I think the thing to do desert heart breaks for her to be honest with you right but I mean she can get it together desert together. She's young she's so fucking on. It's like get it together now because it does not get better and it could kill her desert. You can kill you. I appreciate already fucking around with the Shit and everyone else around those overdosing in having nerve damage and heart attacks. It's like you know it's that's pretty hardcore. I just want to say that I appreciate you reaching out to me. It's very meaningful and your honesty. Being honest yeah you feel and you can't get better you can get better. I think we've all been there and I identified very much all of the feelings and the suicide of chance and self harm and trying to shoot up and you know be happy but also being you know wanting not wanting to lose your fucking frenzy and get loaded with and I just yeah you can. You can get better. It's really hard to be. It's very it's it's extremely difficult and stopping is like it sounds impossible. It was impossible to me for him but I never would have written a podcast about addiction and said I have a problem so I think that's a huge thing in in her favor. You can ask somebody for help. You can talk to people think you might have a problem. You have told lumber right. I think that's a great. That's a great rule of thumb. If you're yeah you're like I think I might have lend your fucking problems like it. You know I think that there's a million people that would love to help you. Desharnais like so just reach out to anybody. Lol fucking been there. We've all been there. We've all been through all that Shit. Now thing you're saying is new or shocking. I've been through all that shit. We've all been through all that Shit. We've all come out the other side and it is doable. And it's not easy but it's fucking worth that all right well. I think that's great advice. And I think we wish you the best and I have faith you can do it just fuck or maybe I mean do whatever you can do you know. Make the move call. Somebody give yourself a chance because nobody thinks they're going to die from this thing you know. It's rare the only one that the thought of afflicted t shirts Ram I. The only one thought of afflicted teachers well. That's something that Chris and I used to always say because we gave see tiger king and they're like how many another episode they were like. How many afflicted t shirts you have and I fell on the floor I mean we used to say affliction instead of disease. Because you know it's just I never liked to work. I've never heard that I've never heard that we always would call it an affliction because I was never comfortable saying disease just saying but it doesn't matter I it doesn't matter you have five minutes to get on your resume and get ready to. I've got to learn so I can suck host the second meaning. It was a pleasure as always to have you on. Dori- you eight Oreo. Everything is good here on. You know it's it is what it is. I mean you know that's your final. Were like what are you wearing? And I'm like I made a joke on twitter. No one's asking me what I'm wearing. There's like no sexuality happening in this household at all but it was like someone knows. I've made a twitter joke. Like what are you wearing? And I was like to see sweatpants. Been in for four days and it was like oh I forgot to tell my pussy story correctly route so anyway. I don't know what's going on down there. It doesn't feel right and you're talking about your vagina right now right yes and so. I went to sprouts and there we hold on hold on. What sprouts sprouts is like a hippie health food store like it's it's like less than whole foods but more expensive than trader. Joe's okay okay. So anyway I asked. I was in the supplement section. I was like I need to get a probiotic and There was.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"Drugs addiction and dumb shit. And I'm Dave and on the phone coming to you from southern California. We have the the great the beloved the incredibly sheltering in place. Amy Dresner Welcome back. I think they called me. Dopey dressed in the nation. Toby dress I call you dobie dress all the time. I can't help it how are you? I'm okay I'm pretty good. How are you doing? You know kind of over it? I think we all are eight. Yes but your beloved status in the dopey nation is so is so great that they send you packages do they not are they. Sending packages or what Misty Stump Mesa mass. It's at fluctuating. And I was just so moved and I took a picture I posted dopey nation and then she's the best man I passed. I have to say like I have you know I'm trying to grow the quote unquote business of Dobie and were making stuff and stuff. And someone's like what's up with that woman who do make saw that dopey stuff. Are you going to let her cell? That dopey stuff and I'm like she's not selling it. She makes it and she gives it away. I know why posted something on my facebook and someone was like I want one of those for sale missy was like I I guess I surely like she's just like does it. From her fucking heart. Yeah I know like she was like I want to do like a march for you. I'm like Bitch I'm not that big it can wait. Havard humor for you. Misty misty. Janney deserves the shout of shoutout. She has her mouth. You'RE FUCKING DOPE. And then her book folding. It's just unbelievable totally she. She Sat Linda and Nora like my neck dopey necklaces and Nora was like I want a dopey mask but I don't want it to say dopey I wanted to say Nora and instead of having the nodding Alka I wanted to have a little girl so misty if you WanNa make nora a mask she doesn't want it to look anything like the dopey mask but she wanted to say Nora and instead of the nodding our guy a little girl with pigtails so get on that if if you WanNa like but misty thank you. Thank you for everything you do. It makes I mean I think it brings an air of crafty goodness and good time feelings and we love you and thank you. Thank you. Misty was all sorted. Fuck shame on the back of the envelope. I'm surprised the male people actually even fucking delivered it. You know what I mean. I was like Oh shit and then like yeah. It was awesome. It was like three masks. It was it was awesome. Well misty is is one of these true blue dopey nation members. And there's a bunch of them but God it's it moves me and when I yeah it's like it's the coolest thing and Of course I posted. Everyone's like plsy singer and I'm like Oh God I'm Never GonNa live that story down. Well I mean he did deliver a great classics. Dopey story you know. I find that with these masks like I have a gigantic knows and the mask is so tight against my knows that I wear their hard for Jews. It's hard for Jews. My roommate has a decent. Shaw's and I still have a little bit of a decent It's like it's you know it's the they're not for Jews fucked up for Jews but you know it's like I mean I think also like. Don't everyone's wearing masks and it's like you can't tell my dad's it you can't tell good looking dog and I was like broads like fucking really. You're eighty two years old. He had chemo yesterday a second. Bless my dad still lives kicking. Did he hold on? Hold on hold on. Did he really say you can't tell if broads or fucking wants to eat said? Yeah I don't even and you can't tell if if women are looking or not. You can't tell if anyone's good-looking you can't see and I said Yeah but you can solve the pretty is I said you know fucked up nosers Jack Teeth like you just look great Internet man. It's pretty is fucking. Pull him right. It's a good time. It's a good time for people with bad features besides just you know just hot nurse or a or like the other people are also like Bandannas. You select you're going to hold up a bank or something now I I wear the BANDANNA and it's like it's like the least Jewish I've ever felt I wear you know I have the BANDANNA and I'm like I like it and after I leave the store I think about just wearing it around my neck because I would never in my life I never would wear like a neckerchiefs and now it's my time I could do. Things can have flare like cowboy flare now. My friend's boyfriend was wearing. Anc A handkerchief around his face and You know look out La and you went to the bank and I just thought she was like this. Is the one time that you can ask. Click with your like like you really with a mask on you. Know what I mean or looking like an outlaw and they're not gonNA like sucking security guards like an attack on the ground. They won't let you win if you don't have it on. I know I mean that's that's where it gets crazy in at the supermarket. I wear the BANDANNA and my nose is so big that it hurts my nose so like whenever I get past. Somebody like need to rub my nose and like so. It's like the opposite of the point. I mean I also feel like I'm immune because I had the corona virus. We're not though. Didn't you see that gas because you have a you have immunity? I know it's not good. Not Good and I know that you're not the biggest dopey listener but the greatest thing that happened to be in the age of the Corona viruses that. My mother-in-law makes us go shopping for her and she's like ridiculous with her shopping lists like her shopping. Lists are almost like a test to see if you're paying attention to her so I'm GonNa read you the the last shopping list. Okay and it's going to be a little bit too long but I'm going to read it anyway. Six honey crisp apples halo oranges and she underlined Halo Iceberg Lettuce small box lettuce spinach Broccoli to garlic's three small red potatoes. Three pack TUNA LIGHT IN WATER WHOLE WHEAT BREAD. Swanson's chicken broth has to be low Sodium Fuck in Asia Yogurt one hundred zero percent plane and she says and I its way. I think it's a it's actually five and I called her up and I had to. We both got it wrong. And I had to call her up and Taylor and then the bottom of the fucking list. Why monds frozen wild blueberries and then she puts in parentheses? No no other brand. She's so if you're not have wines. Frozen wild blueberries. She's not eating wild blueberries understand what I'm saying. Wow I understand no I get it. I in order food for my mom and Albuquerque assisted living and I do it by Insta- card but of course right now. They're so overwhelmed and a lot of people aren't working because it's just like it's not the sea for staying where you just like go into the market and also like going to people's houses and even though they are wearing masks gloves and stuff like that but it's like it used to be able to get like same-day delivery Okay House May of twenty twenty two. And I'm like Jesus Christ but the thing I mean. Have you ever heard of wild blueberries frozen wild blueberries? Is that a thing. I am at heard of that. Jewish brands climbing while googlers. Lineman's Layman's. I'm the Fire Yogurt. I Went Back to the yogurt and I was like sue. I don't see fi but I see stoney. Field has a nice one hundred percent organic zero percent fat plane. She says no dave FIS. Fis is my favorite and I found it. I found her favorite. So I'm a good son and did you find toilet paper. Leisa our paper towels. Nope no dude. We're good with that. We're go with that stuff because everytime it's totally empty here I don't know I saw Mark Marins instagram. Marc Maron seems to find everywhere. I found something he lives in Echo. Park or fucking highland park or something like that. Well I mean well I can't find it anywhere so you don't have toilet paper right now but it's like you know we're looking for more. We'll take jobs looking for Lysol nothing. And then there's like astles on Ebay or Likud you seven dollars for a candlelight. Sonic suck it. Well that's hoarding. There's a dude on long island who's getting busted for that like he like he's he hoarded masks and he hoarded all that. Shit cool man. It's cool it's It's he saw it as an opportunity. I saw a story about some dudes in Virginia. Who who in this whole thing started? They filled up a trailer of this stuff and started selling it. And they got flagged but then they got smart and they just gave it all away and they got out of it. This dude on Long Island isn't it didn't give it away and he's going to go to jail I think why had a fan slash friend who was doomsday proper? I don't know if I told you this. And so he's been waiting for this day for twenty years. He's stoked so he has everything. He sent me pepper spray. He sent me an ninety five mask. See Sydney Gloves Semi Lysol. It's an Clorox fucking. Waves is dried noodles President Jimmy Rifle Pepper spray. Was that for just in case just to protect by so yeah. I mean it's like you know it was just the other day I was like. I'm so safe Hollywood. It's just me and Blah Blah and then it like a fucking helicopter is going around in your house. There's an armed suspect everyone. Lock your doors and go inside. Looks like loops right. I mean it's we're on the precipice I mean I'd feel like things are calming down but for a second. It did feel like you didn't know what was going to happen. We had an earthquake last week. Okay so what happened. Earthquake within the pandemic. I didn't hear the story. Yeah luck and Yeah. It was like me. It's shit woke. Men shook being colonel out of bed. You're totally asleep. I was like is this really like someone is was my neighbor was like fucking read the room world like you know it's like it's like we don't need an earthquake. Little pandemic high feels an on-again. Yeah it's been very cold and rainy in New York and I've been doing all this like a coordinating hospital. Feedings from cats is and I was on the phone with a cool. We're helping out like feeding the frontlines of New York. But I was on the phone with the doctor and she was like there's a fucking tornado running through Washington square like everyone. It's like it feels. It has felt like the world is ending. I feel like things are starting to get back to normal like. I'm getting the feeling like we're we're moving back towards normal and I think as an addict like I like the chaos. I don't really want to go back to normal in a weird sort of way. I like I like being snowed the time now. What do you think? It doesn't feel like normal here. I mean it's like everyone's wearing masks and also no one knows how to walk on the sidewalks Los Angeles like in New York. People know how to sort of avoid each other and like in our name like my. My roommate is from New York. Who's having like survivor's guilt for beanstalk? Here is talking about how I guess the Middle Lane is like the slow lane. If you're fast you walk on the curb or in the street and the beloit here no one knows what the fuck. They're doing like literally. This old woman was walking close to me and I was like along the way like move away from the. Don't come near me like I'm fucking paranoid. I haven't gotten sick yet. I'm paranoid and it's like no nothing's open nothing's open you know. I think I think the thing is close to normal. There's nothing open. I think that people in New York are just much more adaptable than people in California. I think that's what it is. We can handle anything. We're just much better people than you guys OK developed. We can handle emergencies. And and when the going gets rough the rough get going. New Yorkers come together in these situations we have New York superiority. We can drive in the rain. We can handle this stuff stock and we can. We can really street we know. Come on a listen and you guys. Don't even have any cases there everyone's at the beach over there what's going on. Now that's not okay that was in Huntington beach and I mean those guys are idiots like no one. The beach in Malibu completely closed off. They put sand on the boardwalk. You know it's like no you cannot walk on the beach and that's down in Huntington beach. I mean it's like those guys were idiots. Well either way it's a pleasure to have you back on the show Fucking pandemic or no pandemic earthquake or no earthquakes inept Los Angelino or totally together New Yorker Fish. But we have. We have an exciting guest besides you. We got to talk to the I mean. He was actually our first celebrity guests. The House of Pain Rapper. And Co founder Danny Boyle Connor who you actually know. Yeah I know Danny boy from from. La Is the doll usually guy and he's super sweet guy. He saw me of a seizure outside of Slingers really stood the fuck out of him. Yeah what is swinging would scare him because he's like six foot six and he's like terrifying. You know what I mean. But like he's like the sweetest guy it's a it's a twenty four hour giant her that just closed. Actually it was a big big like twelve step hanging out after meetings or go there and one day. We're having lunch and I just aided I just face planted fucking light. There's like blood on the sidewalk and he called me for like two weeks to make sure I was. Okay so sweet. He's a manage this Danny Boyle Congress very much so very much. So and he celebrated fifteen years last week. I got to have him tell his story mazing reading. I remember him. Yeah he got he knows we want. I came in and it was like shooting coke. I was so crazy. Oh my God. He was always very kind to me. Do you remember. Do you remember like any sort of like early recovery. Crazy Person Shit. You did back then. He yeah same stuff. I do now just inappropriate sexual stories and I think I repeated myself a lot. I was also wearing a park in the summer. I weighed three pounds. I attract marks on my neck. I mean I.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"About not at all. I think a lot of people feel relief when an apparent is if they felt you know sort of that person as in like you said we had was. They were under their thumb or whatever. But it's like there's you know just feel bad about feelings or thoughts as well the other thing and I want to say this. I WANNA say my my redemption thing. which is that? I wish my mother could see me now and I wish my mother could have met my daughter's like whatever whatever it would have been amazing. Yeah I just needed a break. I wish he could come back now and like be a part of it. I know she wouldn't WanNa come on Dobie or maybe she would be hysterical llandough now but if she could see like you clean and she could see your family and like that fucking amazing you know what I mean. It's like that's the wonderful part but you know it's like yeah I mean I mean. I think that when people die when they're older we expect that and it's part of normal life but when people dying there fucking thirties or twenties. We're just like what are fucking. It's a war we've all been in and we're like not survivor's guilt but maybe why wha that could have been me. That should have been me right. Why my live right? And it's like Wiedeman they get it in like why like it's fucking sad man. It's fucking terrible right totally totally you know and families ripped apart and you know l.. Someone's life is cut short very early in its dislike. You know it's fucking horrible. We don't have the answers so I think it's just it's it's much more it's like you said it's our people you know what I mean. Yeah so on that note. I want to thank you for coming on. I want to tell everybody Out there too like you know if you if you WANNA get high you get fucking I but if you want to give this thing a shot give it a shot. I mean it's like I have so much more fun now than I ever did. Then personally my life is so much fucking better. Even if I'm making strangers smell my pussy finger and I think that's a plus they got laid to Nassar's my life was amazing unflagging. I'm much happier in. It's like I mean I m alive. I don't think I would alive if you've read the book it's like I did. I did you know it's like so I mean and I get to help people and it's fucking amazing so this weekend in La La is something called the Western Conference of young people weekend next weekend and they're going to be some amazing speakers if you guys are in La. It's the next weekend and through the fifth. Yeah it's January second through the fifth not. GSI January second through the fifth. You should check it out if you don't no no. I was amazing because it's going to be fine. Fifteen hundred people should be pretty crazy. All Right Amy Happy New Year get the fuck better. You're Get get some good chicken soup yes find me some find a deli. You want me to send you chicken soup. No kidding I'll do it and and thank you for calling in. I love having you on the show in person much better. I know I know me too. Thanks for having me on and drag me on my sickbed. I feel better already. That's awesome all right. Amy Amy say strong dopey nation obvio-. So that's the Great Amy Dresner on New Year's getting sober meetings and of course having strangers smell your vagina before you go over to attempt to have sex with somebody that you just met which was definitely my my favorite part of the story. All right. We're moving right along. We have another old friend of the show who we haven't heard from in months ons and some people call them Whitey tidies tighty Whiteys I guess why did he tidies but it is our friend Jeremy. So let's let's get him on the on the line so Jeremy it's been I mean when's the last time you on the show. The last time was the night before I went into aloe right. So when last heard from you you know I didn't realize it but you were highs shit. Everybody else told me I should have felt. I should have felt about the math in my stomach. Go off that. Sometimes you know like you talked to somebody who's high and you feel that high thing. Yeah yeah totally. Look look when L.. Listen to it. I was at Alloa and they finally gave me my phone back and listen to the episode and my heart dropped. I was like God. I'm so hot dude dude. I was like man. I hope you know I just didn't sound bad. So nobody's you sounded bad but everybody I you sounded is shit but but that's okay. You know I think all anybody who listens to dopey either has gotten high as shit is high as shit or as dealing with somebody the highest shit. So it's not like you're calling into some non drug addict based show so I mean that's all right right. Yeah no it was fun I I mean I guess you call me at a sweet spot where I could make sense with words because a lot of times when I'm high I really can't even talk. So yeah yeah it was good. It was a good interview alcohol totally and you went to Aloe and you got some time together and you went back home home what I told you not to do. I don't want to say I told you so but I told you not to go home and against their against their license as well so home okay so you know. I got out there and I won't go into what happened with the insurance everything but I got terminated waited for my job and I had legal issues back here okay and Allah was great. So me man they they even offered to let me stay another sixty. Today's and but I had you know the longer out prolonged this these legal issues. I had the more I was just is going to stress out about it and my roommate let him borrow my truck and he blew the engine up and so there was a lot of stress coming from that and I just was ready to come back and make some money and and you know get this resolved as far as my legal issues but went. How did that turn into a relapse? Okay so when I came back I did. I did very well. I was going to meetings and I decided to go back on a boat and I don't know man like I was on a Oh. My roommate came and got me off the boat. I been cleaned at home for good three months. And on the way back from the boat he had some dope and I was really frustrated. There was a lot of things going on. And just you know I I like I like I say I hit the fuck it button and I just said screw it and I just got hot and I was like okay well. I'll just do it tonight. And then I decided and I had like two thousand dollars in the bank. Thank and I just quit my job and I was so disappointed. 'cause I just went to Allah which was a wonderful place. It was the the best place I've ever been. I've never been treated so great and I guess I was disappointed in myself and I felt like I let you know the dopey nation in down. I felt like I let my family down. Everybody had high hopes and man. I just fell into a deep depression and just embrace it. I guess US before that you're you're like almost ninety days clean. You're on the boat. You get off the boat. You're with a friend and he's holding. Math is that the deal. Oh well yeah yeah. I mean that was five months clean because I did. I was said Allah for right as and I was at home for like three months. Oh were you talking about almost half a year ear clean. The dude is holding meth. And you're like fuck it out to fuck it what I wanna hear about and I know that this has happened. I mean like with me whenever whenever I had cleaned time right and I decided to get high. I wasn't deciding just to get high that night. I was always deciding. I'm dumb being in clean. I'm going to do this. was that how it was for you. Well okay okay. I'll disclose this. I to maintain the amount of physical labor than I do on my job. I was using cradle. Okay that's where it started. Tell us about great them I. I can't even pronounce it. Tell us about Craig's them. Some people call it. Cram you take it. It's like it has all these alkaloids that bond to the opiate receptors and a lot of people who were on opiates. We'll take this but it's got. It's like a cousin to the coffee plant. So it's got tons of caffeine in it right and the deal is the ceiling is real low as far as if you do too much of it will make you sick but if you take enough of it it'll get you going and it's also got some pain relieving qualities and if you don't abuse it which I'm not that type obvious everything it actually will help with pain and it'll it'll it'll get you through the day if you've if you're a person that deals with pain so I was abusing crate him on the boat. Oh you know. And by the time he picked me up I was I was down to my last pills like I was actually 'cause you will talk. I mean I D oh You. I'll say I detox cradle and it's I'm telling you detox offseason. Opiates and it's worse. I believe it is so what kicking cranium is worse worse than kicking proper. Opiates Oh yes it's like you get the switch. Your nose starts running your back starts aching your bones bones is like you can't get comfortable. And so by the time he picked me up. There were some frustrations with my job. There was frustrations with the situation. Choice with my vehicle. I was living in a house. Where one of my roommates is using every day at the other maids deal in this right and and and when I got in the truck man I was at a weak point and I just was like I said fuck it? Well you're also using you're using this crazy them crazy is basically I mean how does it. What does the high like? I've heard different people talk about it. But what was it like for you. It's a body. How well it depends on? There's different strands. There's like a you know. Yeah like red strain which is more to me is like more of an opiate effect where it's a body high and you just kinda chill. You know it's like a root she'll mode then you got like the wife Strand which is a little more energy kick it doesn't it has more pain relieving qualities you got the green. The green for me gives me a little bit of euphoria. It you learn the mixtures and you learn how it affects you and then you take certain strings at certain times of the day to do whatever the desired czar affected you want. I mean it's it's really. You got to kind of do certain brands to kind of see how it affects you. Does it shock you that. It's not a controlled substance sense. Do you think it will be no. Because here's the deal man. If you take too much credit if you sit down starting your glass and shoot it and you do not much you will be puking immediately in. It's not a fun puke. It's not like one of those and I feel great. It's not a good time. Terrible for the next fucking day. It's it's not good so I don't think people you can abuse it as far as like take it every day and Kinda get physically depended on it but as far as like Odeon on and I don't really think that's possible so you're you're totally in relapse on cranium if I took creighton would be a total fucking relapse without a doubt when you picked up math for the first time after the cranium. Did you know immediately that you were going to stay on it or what was the thaw. Aw No 'cause I had worked it out with my job. I was supposed to go the next day at to a place on the river with that was close to where I lived And kind of do some extra side work type stuff. I went the next day and immediately I knew that the guys on the boat. What do that I was high and this new companies more of a strict company and people talk you know and so I got real self conscious about the next day and when I got home I was just so tired but I wasn't ready to go to sleep and I think the next night is like well? I've got money Eh. Out was frustrated with the job. I was tired. My nose is a bunch of stress. Hit me at once and that's when I was just like I'm not going back to this job because I know they're already talking shit so fuck it might as well just got him. Enjoy the language. How much well? I don't know where the you mean. Goddamn dan part okay. I appreciate that. At what point do you think it became something that you knew wasn't GonNa go well or did you know it as soon as as you did it. Well okay so my roommate who blew up my engine he year to replace the engine and so he kind of felt like I needed to do like sign over the truck to him. It was just this whole convoluted story but anyways he so I kinda made a deal with and you can. I use my truck.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"I hate to be pollyannaish but my life and recovery is amazing. I went on our friend. Jets podcast last week and I said something that I should say on this show which is the adventure of my sobriety beats any fucking ramshackle dopey adventure. I ever got to have my my adventure ensure in being fuck in present and being sober and it's amazing and I don't mean it like oh I'm sober so my life life is good. I mean I get to do whatever I want because I don't have to cop every day because my head is basically clear and it's a gift and it's fucking. It's the best thing that I ever did so I just want to start the show with a little dose of sobriety. You know this show is going to be interesting. We do a couple collins they were going to hear from some old old friends on the show and the first one has been sober for a little while. And it's our good friend Amy Dresner so here we go amy. Welcome welcome back to the show was dude. Amy's fucking sick. Amy Sounds like oh sick bed since Tuesday. You ready for the show. Oh and I'm like I'm really sick. You're talked you six bitch. I'm like okay by plush mother pushy mother fucker. It'll be great and like it will it. Okay I figured just like La sick not like New York walk you to New York thing to say and lay sick. Oh Man I'm sick sick L. A. Sake is like you can only drink tap water and you don't have Pelegrina. Do they fall sick. Yeah what's going on. What what you got a cold? Yes yeah it's going around. Everyone's sick do they have. Do they have a nice chicken soup in Los Angeles. I mean the best one was at It was that fucking daily close they closed the landers with cantor's now can socks kanter's Jewish has good fries. Commanders is good for chicken soup sucks addict. It's terrible Jerry Green blocks not bad carries is the best one. They closed the one year me now. There's only one in the valley so have you ever been a Brent's haven't been to branch haven't landers whereas that lingers near McArthur Park I making funny at all wearing a go fucking cop dove to know I'm good. I used to go cup dope around there and buy pills chicken soup I would. I would top doped I never knew it existed but when I was waiting tables. The owner from Langer's sat at my table and he was like have a Deli vibe MacArthur Park and that's all I could think was used the crap but I didn't say that you know I'm a Adeli expert because so many fucking idiots from Los Angeles try to compare themselves to New York Deli and it's just like what are they doing. I don't even know US nine. Even I mean it's it's not possible I don't even compare but I just yeah I just got something. I was depressed and then I think you know it'd be great if I was sick because then no one would give me shit for. We're being in bed and sleeping through the holidays and being depressed. The university granted so now. I'm like Shit so now I'm so sick and no one can be on my ass asked about not going anywhere because just like fucking brutally ill so let's talk about this year depressed and you're sober like do you WanNa talk about why you got down. Well I don't think the holidays do the holidays your brutal for us and I think a brutal for a lot of people. I think there's a lot of pressure to fucking be happy and it's like like you know either you don't have family or you don't like your family or you know like you. You fucking can't drink or can't use. It's it's like I'm one of many people with sobriety date in early January. You mean like as you know it's like it's the Bermuda Triangle thanksgiving Christmas Christmas new years. Where a lot of people relapse because it's dislike pressure and a lot of parties and Blah Blah Blah and? It's like you know I'm here. But my mom is you no in assisted living in Albuquerque with dementia and my dad is fighting Cancer Oregon. And so I'm here by myself. Colonel Puff box. You know I mean I just went and visited my dad which was fucking round but you know and I'm Jewish but was raised with Christmas but everyone Winstons Minora cards. It's very confusing things confusing. I hear you I have I mean I I'm I'm with a non non Jewish family and And I didn't get to do Christmas. They went out Christmas dinner and my eighteen month old. Got Sick right so I stayed home and it was like your thing thing. It's my I hate going to Christmas. I don't like it. I don't like being with strangers and I know these people but they're still strangers and they pray to Jesus before where we but so. I was like really compromise to be honest naming a a meeting before you eat cheese. They don't print a jeans at my meetings. They pray to Jesus. It's fucking Jesus at my way but so like I was like I was at in the morning. I was like listen if Susan is too sick. I'm volunteering to stay home with name is Susan. Didn't she. Sounds like like a forty five girls secretary. You know like everybody calls her Suzie. I'm like Susan doing but I was like if Susan Susan is sick tonight. I'm saying now I'm going to stay home with her. So check this out. I had the most literally. I've been Jewish my whole life. I've celebrated Christmas Christmas my whole life. This was the most Jewish Christmas I ever had. I had I had Chinese food and I watched curb your enthusiasm reruns. I Swear God oh my God and I did it alone and I fucking love it I love. Oh that's good yeah. My Dad's said they didn't want to do any other Christmas shed and there was one Chinese restaurant and it was like an hour. Wait because all the Jews and Ashland he was like fuck that so well I mean I. I used to love if you're using during the holidays. Like are you kidding luck. Yeah like I like I like. I mean my my great Christmas tradition when I first got with my my current partner I always say my wife but my we never got married so my partner was that we would go to this Christmas party right and I would always always steal drugs from the old woman's medicine because she had like Perkins said in Vikings and I remember the first time I went. I just took everything everything and I got totally. It was like the greatest Christmas I ever had and I mean that was something I loved about being an addict which was stealing drugs and getting in high and then falling out. I loved it until I couldn't do it anymore. Well Christmas is always a little weird for me. Since that was the night I got arrested. So I'm always he's like like I forgot about it for a while. When I was with my ex boyfriend we would like to spend time with his family but then we broke up in two thousand seventeen eighteen? And I've been kind of by myself since so it's like you know but like I always talk about it. You know getting arrested Christmas like Oh you know there was no one else else no Hollywood jail jail and it was just like a bad fucking seeing bad scene so now echoes the holidays. Echoes that arrest at Christmas. Christmas is like yeah. It's like Oh cool. I was arrested for felony domestic violence unplugging Christmas so two thousand eleven. Yeah you know so when you're when you're down like I mean you I mean I've known you for a little while I think I've known you since since you broke up with her boyfriend. I hope it's just a coincidence. But fuck can I know that. Sometimes you get down and what do you do to keep yourself from like wallowing. Were from using or from being the most miserable not not fucking option. It's just no I've had my ass handed me to me so many times. I JUST CAN'T I. CanNot you know what I mean. And it's like so I mean I'm I'm afraid I'm afraid after seventy seven years clean on the second and it's like fucking who knows like I could just die. You know what I mean like are you. Are you excited for the second like. Are you excited to get excited. And it's like you know I mean I I I mean I vape ape fucking keep fucking fallen off the wagon with nicotine and unlike unless not great and now I'm like obsessing about this dude like I've I unlike I went on a day like today dates like hung out with this guy wise and now like of course like even after two and a half years of not being with anybody like so. Oh fucking obsessed and like I'm in love and like everyone's icon down dude. You know what I mean like crying out for five hours. Total performance little lax ax. And he hasn't been released. You've been really really long time. And instead of being like a red flag like by challenge accepted you know it's like Oh God but I'm just the worst so I'm kind of looking at that stuff. Now like uncut brings sort of like. Oh maybe I have codependency issues like why am I picking emotionally unavailable table. People you know that kind of stuff so where do you where do you stand with this. Do Now fucking flipped out on him and then I mean a man's we're talking talking but I don't know what's going to happen but I'm GonNa tell you something funny about a dopey fan and how we matins very funny about Thanksgiving but so I just you know I think that the you know the war continues. You know it's like there's no getting there with recovery. There's always more work and more work and more work. You know what I mean. And it's like so You know I have projects going on whatever but I mean I have depression and it's like you know so I just kind of like when it comes I just I do my best to sort of work through it but I I also let it get myself some fucking grace and be that sounds so fucking Queer Queer dot word like lame but like I don't want to offend my fucking and people fellows your your queers and fellowship queers those things like I mean I just you know I do the best. I can get to a meeting when I get to a meeting. I told my sponsor feeling like Shit I told my friends and but mostly I'll just sleep it off and it passes you know what I mean. It's like nothing is brought it on. There's no no big change in circumstances that all of a sudden it's just chemical man I get through and I never do well this time of year. I've never I've always nineteen since I've been nineteen. This is the time of year here. I fucking eat it if I can relapse to kill myself. I try and kill other people. I just don't do well. They don't do well so okay you know it's going to pass. It's not big. You know but I is that I I don't know for me. I still cling to the hope that something outside is GonNa fix me like a guy or a job or an accolade or you know what I mean. Even though I know that the internal work totally I mean I often. I often think think that's something coming will be enough from you. Die Happy at that point. But that's not the case. I've gotten things that I thought. Were GonNA the fucking be it and make me happy and either the happiness was extremely fleeting was completely just didn't exist at all and then you're like what you know and so oh it's like that's frustrating. His ipad the experiences of getting things. I wanted in not feeling happy and so I know it's an internal job but it's like you know it's still. I don't want that wanted you more work. I'm lazy I don't want fucking more work but I'm at a place where I'm getting into much pain where I have to do more work while the fucked up thing I I went to a about a month ago I actually went to my first heroin anonymous meeting which was like total trip like I was totally the the old man at the meeting interesting. Everybody was like twenty one and and then there was this other dude. WHO's probably like thirty or thirty nine? And he said how like his wife was relapsing and you know he's obviously still with her and But he has to live with a using drug addict and he's talking about how like this too who shall pass with bad shit but then he also said how it's the same with good shit and like and that's like the trick and you just have to keep doing it and and and everyone says it like it's a bad thing but you know I think the adventure and the potential of good good shit happening trump's all the other stuff that's why we do it or say gives us hope it gives us hope it continues but I get way overly excited at the littlest thing and get into like fucking fantasy land about it. You know what I mean. And then like either isn't what I thought or it falls apart. And then I get super bummed out and I'd love to be able the sort of just be like just chill out a little bit but this is not my nature and this is not my nature nature is like you know what let's say. Let's say this dude was the one you know what I'm saying. And and you fell in love with him you know it will get boring. You know what I mean like it will it well even if it had nothing will save anybody. There is.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
"Right now at my feelings about what begets you being you being angry at me angry because you told me. I was dilly dallying you're doing. I'm like Cinderella around this place. You wish this morning I woke up this Lambert Senator Franken pants I swear to God and this might this. I Apologize. Why didn't you just need to like a good fight in the middle of Christmas I I apologize. It was a new tradition. It's festive. There's feats of strength in Christmas. There's the fights in the middle of punching bag. Not your feelings out on me. I'm going to say this. There's three women that I know that are the biggest dilly-dallied that I ever met ones is Nora. The other is your mother and the third is you and the three of you if you have something to do. You're like maybe I'll just clean this this chair right now. Attention deficit three have have been so nora. Which side do you want the stairs to be and then you stand there. It's like pregnant pauses in milking walking nouns. Maybe we should can. I give you the password before you go down. It's like every and your mom does the same stuff up she goes. Why don't we visit for a little bit. Let's just visit nicely. You also were very anxious about doing this. Yes so I think if you weren't you probably would have been a little more patient and if it wasn't so late I'm also like in my mind like it's like ten o'clock in New York. The episode usually comes out now and like you know me. I'm an anxious person. I agree. I mean you agree. Yes awesome anxious person you agree so let me say this to the dopey nation into you. I'm sorry I pushed you to do this. I'm sorry I rushed you. I'm sorry I accused you of you are a dilly-dallied but I'm sorry I set you off. We both had a long day with a lot of work to accept my apology. Accept your apology closer to the MIC because you're gonNA. Make me the fuck crazy with data. Can we move on now please. Do you want to hear begats. I WanNa hear you know begets would be once before I a player. It's just another batch of like true blue. dopey fans ready these these are you know starting with begats but it's going to be another block of fandom no concoction greetings from the gone to farms of Northern California -fornia. This is your boy B. Gets slide in through to wish you all a merry Christmas and we miss you. Chris Mazal talk to Dave on this two hundred episode and the two million downloads. Thank you for soldiering on through unspeakable grief and summoning the intestinal Saddam fortitude to deliver us to this momentous occasion. Your efforts do not go unnoticed and we are so grateful always thinking of the dearly departed. Chris and his absence devoid is palpable so on his birthday. WanNa send love of beams out to Chris. Wherever you are and bang the vape one time for your mind tip of the Kangol to Dave's esteemed and Father Alan Aka King of fetch also to your lovely partner Linda some of my favorite content on the show. Oh and also WANNA send one out to Chris brave partner any who were often thinking of and from there just shout out the dopey nation and my friends in the dopey nation like the colleen's and the prodigal son of Baton Rouge Jeremy Turner Merman hot wheels Julie British do dave who sounds like Winston Churchill. I know this was supposed to be like a thirty second message but I got carried away so with that. I'M GONNA assign off say tools or to the dopey Dane unclog. Hey this is brady from Iowa. Congratulations on two hundred episodes love the new episodes of Dome back and listening into old ones with Yoon Chris both in them as well help. We're getting another two hundred more say strong doping nation tools dopey nation two hundred episodes. It's from the UK brighten. The dealer just want to say congratulations for making two hundred episodes is huge house listening when it was episode one three five and seven las tapes but yeah hopefully another two hundred so it's more me. Nathi tools rest in peace Chris. Please stay strong so that's to Lena's say tools. Do you know the Minana say toodle Xlt now. Wow Chris would like to say tutorials and you know when I do might might fake Jamaican thing. A Jamaican guy might say me not say tools if he doesn't WANNA say toodle so we said that a lot I would say me not say tools at the end and I love it when people say tools sounds very cool you think so you think Manasseh toodle sounds really making fun of me. I really I feel like that's very cool thing to say in our life. You'd never said anything that I've ever said is cool. Now you think not say but it sounds every sets and if he says it right right it sounds cool right sounds like something. It sounds like something like I wanna be a part of. I love that guy if he is the fear izzy effie everybody calling in has these great leg voices dude. It's fucking international dopey thing ready for some more diversity or known all the all the people leaving voice like leaving voicemails have these great wasted so how begets with the music and everything. That's the gun farmer it's calling from the Ganges forums northern cal that he has a soundtrack for his voice man. I wouldn't be surprised if when he walked on the street that music was playing playing playing like surrounding rounding him where he goes to the cloud of smoke. Now may very possibly anyway. You WanNa hear ridiculous story that I never told you before navy so a couple of weeks ago I was walking from one meeting to another catering meeting meeting and I was on the phone with the guy who actually invented the dopey Logo Graphic Design Ryan and I'm talking about like doing some work making some graphic or something and I see this guy walked past me and I'm sure it's the actor sure that plays Harry Potter. Daniel Radcliffe and Chris always told me how Daniel Radcliffe was this major alcoholic recovery so I say to Ryan. I gotta get off the phone. I gotta go and they get off the phone with Ryan and I take off after this man. You know he looks to me. He looks exactly like Daniel Radcliffe but he has a beard. He's wearing this very nice like designer suit. Stay slick like Harry Potter Harry Potter like an older Harry Potter glasses those round glasses no uh-huh so I just start running after him. He's wearing like a light blue cotton these suit because it's summer beginning in the summertime whatever br and I kind of nervous because I'm a big dairy butter fan you know and I stopped him and I said excuse me are you Daniel Radcliffe Radcliffe and he's like no and it turns out. He's very very gay American guy. He's nothing he's once. He starts talking doesn't seem anything like Harry Potter and it's it's pretty pretty embarrassing. Yeah and I said now you said no and then I said he said why and I said Oh. It's Kinda stupid but I might as well. I figured I might as well tell him because I've stopped him in the middle of the street. I'll have some sort of explanation exactly so I have a bunch of Dobie cards and I give them a dopey card and I say you know do this podcast asked and I thought you were Daniel. Radcliffe and I would have loved it if Daniel Radcliffe came on the shop and he's like okay whatever but I'll I'm gonNA recovering. Come on the left and weeks later. I'm doing catering jobs and go to go to any you know in mid town to to took cater at any the dude works at Ame on my comes up to the counter and I'm like Oh shit. It's Harry Potter and he didn't recognize is me when I recognized him and it was just it was like it was just ridiculous. Did you say you ask him again if he was yes. I said I said I said I said hey man he didn't recognize me and then for some reason I humiliated myself by reminding him of this this event. That's very funny. It's funny right now. I want to move move on. That's a good funny story story story. I want to move on to have you ever heard Amy Dresner on the show well here. Amy Dresner wanted to do a quick call and we amy Dresner is a super special guest of the show guest host rotating host and the dopey nation loves her. I think the DOPEY Nation Book Club Redder Book Awesome so here's little amy it's very exciting two hundred episode very very special guests the one the only the Californian author that we all love Amy Dresner welcome back to the show. Thank thank you dopey dress dobie drags. I know I have my own fucking Dolby fucking nickname now so stoked. I don't like I don't I don't like it when they call me dopey Dave. I don't like it. Why because I'm very talkin stupid insensitive. I like to be called. Dave from dopey. She's just Christ Christ. Well Good luck with the you know high micromanaging. Everyone's you know enjoy that. How's that working for you. It's going really well. Everyone's everyone's doing exactly what I want them to do. Following your script good constantly I am the director and they are the players in my life seen eye. I sometimes read the big book so what's going on dopey. That's flunking amazing right not not surprised I'm not surprised. I don't know I remember once. You and I were on the phone. You don't remember this. I remember this because I was walking from lower east side to Penn station Asian and I was sitting outside Penn station waiting for the train and I think Chris just died and we were planning when you were gonNA come back on and I said Amy I'm GonNa make this thing big big and you were like yeah sure you are remember that conversation now but now astle great no I mean why would you believe it but and it's not big yet but it's on from the grow jude your ambitious. Faulk and I think you have something really special. I think what makes dopey fucking special is the realness you know so. It's a very fake world right now where it's all about looking good in sounding good and saying the right. Pc Shit and all that kind of stuff up in dopey is a place where people really throw it down in our like hey I fucking relapse and here's this gnarly story and Blah Blah Blah and it's like you know we get down and dirty and it's like that's where the connection is..
"amy dresner" Discussed on The Rich Roll Podcast
"From our service and freedom main if you sign up for a year so start your free trial site today at square space dot com and when you do decide to sign up for square space make sure to use the offer code rich role to get 10 percent off your first purchase of square space dot com do it up you guys okay so this is the very raw brutally honest courageous and full honey she's really funny story of amy dresner we talk about her privileged and team upbringing we talk about her descent into drugs and alcohol and her rollercoaster journey to recovery so this is about sex drugs comedy rehab violence the dark pernicious force that is unbridled addiction and ultimately the path to sobriety but honestly in many ways similar to my conversation with murder valero but also very different what this is really about is the redemptive power of simply facing owning and ultimately summoning the courage to share your truth and the incredible indelible power that ownership that that kind of ownership the ability to be profoundly honest with yourself which takes tremendous amount of courage the power that that holds to overcome shame and he'll oneself and serve as an example to heal others uh in other words rooting out shame by shedding light upon the facts of your experience so really powerful stuff whether you are in recovery or not whether you're suffering from some kind of addiction be it substance or behavioural or maybe you know somebody who suffers i think we can all get something out of amy story even if at just serves to help you better understand.
"amy dresner" Discussed on The Rich Roll Podcast
"Both the plant power away a talia which is coming out in april so that's three writing projects and for the copa we're going to reveal the cover for that soon which is pretty exciting and then i spent all day the other day recording the audio book for someone else's book not one of my books and that's a book coming out at the end of the month that was new for me in cool not sure if i'm allowed to talk about that specific project so i'd better not reveal anything right now but it's exciting it's exciting for you at least i guess and on top of all of that i put out to podcasts last week so it's been a lot but it's been good and i feel like i'm in a good creative groove at the moment which is awesome but i realised one thing which is that i can't do all of that and keep up with social media make videos do a lot of the other things that i enjoy doing that i find to be creatively rewarding in other words you got to prioritize your energies and you're gonna aim them in the direction that will serve the most uh people and serve them in the best way in a longterm sense if you know what i mean if that makes sense did i mention i got emu drazen around the podcast today i don't like i did mention that interesting woman that amy dresner if you've been on board this podcast adventure with me for a while then you know well that addiction alcoholism sobriety recovery these are big recurring themes of the show they are subjects that are close to my heart as somebody who was in recovery they are issues i think are important to discuss especially in the midst of this explosion of opioid addiction that is devastating millions of people but too often this and other issues the kind of swirl around addiction are not dealt with out in the open there.
"amy dresner" Discussed on Mental Illness Happy Hour
"Like alludes hard man and i i didn't get that job i'm here with the amy dresner who has a whole larry as new book called my fair junky and memoir of getting dirty and staying clean up but it's it's about a lot more than that and um about the emotions that drove the acting out with drugs and saxon all kinds of other stuff um what might people know you uh from probably my stuff for the fix had been a columnist for the addiction recovery magazine the fixed dot com for over five years and my pieces i'm so that off onto reap love the side um i'm also started to right for daily tonic but the fixes sort of been my home as a comic briefly for like five years it's always hard to tell from somebody's you know either wicked pedia page or their website i didn't know i had it would competing with aid someone told me i was like a really as like oh that's frightening was that say oh my god but this is my first this is my first book and i'm really proud of it and like you said it's like yes it's an addiction memoir but it's it's about the feelings and it's also about my transformation through losing everything through my arrest and you know sweeping than joining the chain gang you know and all that kind of stuff it's like some of the thin yet in the car.