20 Episode results for "Alex Schmidt"

Bastions of Light (w/ Alex Schmidt, Jody Avirgan)

Fake the Nation

1:04:56 hr | 8 months ago

Bastions of Light (w/ Alex Schmidt, Jody Avirgan)

"Study of the world's only film school dedicated entirely to comedy. The Herald Ramos Film. School at the second city is looking for diverse applicants of all experience levels and backgrounds go to Ramos Film School Dot Com or call. Three one two eight eight three one to four one to schedule a tour or ten their next open house on Wednesday March twenty fifth at five PM at the second city in Chicago that they should episode one eighty nine. Hello this is make the nation or are we talking about news? We talk about politics where we search fashionable alternatives to the medical face mask with me and I am the only one. Sorry am I the only one building panic calls from their mother about because I got one of those calls. Maybe twice a day well there was. There was two on one day. I don't mean to exaggerate her panic. The rate is accelerated is there? It is So today actually GonNa talk about that. We're we're GONNA talk about the democratic criteria campaign for a change. We'll just mention it on this show. just started twenty five years ago and by the time it's done. I will be filling out Medicare forms task. So the numerals about corporations world climate change and finally darkness. Is it ever actually dark? I know that's a weird one. But we're gonNA fucking talk about darkness. I know I know I know dies but as I think it's GonNa be interesting. You know it's really interesting though is today's Bangle. Oh My Dad. You guys joining me both again. They're veterans of the show This gentleman he's he hails from Los Angeles and he's normally not in town but he's in town this week or so lucky to have him you've heard them on Los Angeles editions of fake the nation. But he is the host of the cracked podcast and he's had me on the crash. Podcast PODCAST is so fun and smart. Oh so smart. And he is so smart and he's so great so delightful you guys. It's Alex Schmidt mckiness a nice intro gotten in centuries after that was so great. Thank you I practice that the mere this morning so I don't know why I took. This is not a visual that they can hear it though they can hear that dedication okay also joining us on the panel today your show far. He's officially veteran status He's also even guest hosted when I've not been in this room. He's taken the Helms a fake the nation. That's how good he is. We trust him with that. We would trust you to Alex. Don't worry don't live in towns. There's just not as simple guy to turn his comment into an offensive consulate. What your intro to be a complement of Alex is what I'm saying but you guys. You've heard his amazing work on the fivethirtyeight. Podcasts you've heard is amazing work at the thirty for thirty series. I mean of should I mention he was a WNYC? The guidance of a Brian. Lara the one and only you guys. He's so fantastic. It's jody ever again so just experienced some changes. It is an honor to be here and moreover image. Great to be here with you but to be next to Alex. I I don't know if there's any other things on say great. The correct podcast is only about Alex. It's very cold here today. In New York He showed up wearing basically sweatshirt. No don't that's what an amazing person this is. He doesn't even feel cold. Jody literally isn't feel it. I was I was surprised when the outline came in and just said Alex. Great top giant fourteen minutes. Let's go with it. Sounds good looking at me like okay? We're really though of continuing on with the Alec Segment. We'RE GONNA go into job number one. Oh my God oh you guys you guys before we get into topic number one. I really quickly wanted to make sure you know that. We have a very exciting series coming out. It's called bonus the nation and it's basically all of the bonus episodes of fake the nation on stitcher premiums. If you're looking for a way to support the show and so many of you have reached out and asked me how you can support the show will this? This is actually. This is the big way you could support. The show is to become a member of such a premium And listen to all of bonus the nation and you can do that and by by going to stitcher premium dot com and using the code a fake that I've Aka so I hope you do that episode for so good. We have been recording them. And I'm like just really proud of them and really excited to share them with you and you're just you're gonNA love it So again that's You know go to stitcher premium and use the code fake and now let's get into topping number one so let's start with miserable elections. The argument is continuously made that a contentious. Primary is You know really harmful to the party that it'll be really bad in the general actions because we'll be divided. I argue. What's actually ruining the party? Is How fucking long. This process is and how many states are essentially disenfranchised by the primary schedule is just. It's what I've been saying and I will continue to say it because I would like us for us to actually change it or I've been frustrated my whole life. Let's change it though but my question to you guys is. How do you feel where are the debates? On Tuesday to contentious for comfort. It was hard to tell what anyone was saying. There was. It's like all the transcripts are just crossed across across all the time and yeah I wish I wish they didn't all feel the need to fight each other on everything especially when you've got like Sanders and Warren who are both the most progressive candidates that that I know of In history like why do they need to but heads all the time not needed? Yeah I mean there's an element of desperation here just because of the calendar and the math and so now and it happens in every primary where people just realized. Oh No this is my last shot. It was a it was a horrible debate. In terms of what you were discussing. So Much Crosstalk. The moderators repairable. Just a bad sort of product that I don't think we learned much. I feel like it was pretty typical for a debate. Where you know a leader as a you know someone in in I is consolidating and there are a couple of lanes that are consolidating. And it's the kind of like this is our last chance and you know. I mean compared to the Republican debates in two thousand sixteen which were all like that. Yeah all that sort of Jelly and cross sake but then also like bragging about penis size this one I no. You're you're absolutely right. I mean I think you know there were some moments. I feel like you know. Everyone piled on Bernie for a little bit because he is the seeming front runner. He has one. You know a plurality in three primary contests that should make no bearing in how you decide to vote in your future primary whenever that is in New York it's Fuckin- next year. Our primary really doesn't matter So but anyway it's in April But it's a small state where you do it. Yeah and then you know I think there were there were I mean look I. I feel like everyone's saying the same thing which is like he'd end. Amy Sort of like cancel each other out or they just sort of like fell into like a weird actually pretty strong debris I mean I thought for what he knew one needs to do and how he needs to sort of present himself He had commenters rational answers. He spoke to a certain kind of voter. That is genuinely out there. I don't think it's going to shift the calculus considerably for him but I thought he acquitted himself pretty well. I mean yeah look like again. If we're comparing this to the Republican debates sixteen like they all fucking did great you know what I mean like. They all like said some things about policy and You know forgetting the one thing that I thought was maybe like a needless distraction was the Cuba stuff Which which we can get into like what it means to have that in the air so there was a big claim about Bernie kind of saying. Nice things about you and you know. What do you say it like that? You're like so what or whatever so like can you guys. I mean. Explain to me what what is. What's the problem here? I I feel like so many issues that come up in these debates are not incredibly relevant. Like almost all issues matter. It's just a thing of like. When he's the president is Egypt going to surrender to the Cubans or something? It doesn't matter ears. Stay claims that he said some nice things about their healthcare system and their education system Yeah I thought he's pro healthcare and pro education and looking for ideas ties into a larger story about Bernie Sanders which is absolutely going to be the defining issue. I think if it's him versus a self avowed socialist and what does that mean in for a lot of voters you know I would say from. Elenio is when they think socialism. They think you know they think Nordic countries they think Sweden and Denmark and for older voters. They think you know Cold War and it's going to fall out along those lines and so I thought that was a good preview of some of the stuff he's going to have to face and frankly he's going to have to face a much much harsher harsher. You know worst faith arguments than that. I think he needs to do a better job of handling it. You know he has a hard time. I think one of the points. That was really interesting to me was Biden bringing up. Bernie's record on gun control and I actually feel like you know he didn't really. He has a better answer for that too. You know he said like that was a bad vote talked about the Brady bill but I wanNA hear. I think people want to hear some real genuine emotion on what bad vote that was and what it means and how he's changed and what he really wants to do like. I don't think I don't feel he's a full throated on gun control And his bad votes in the past which are GonNa you know which for the Democratic Primary GonNa come up. Probably won't come up in general election to be to rank right so but but as a primary candidate to me. That's a big issue. I would love to hear just like a beautiful like change of heart and what that meant to him to change. And I don't know you know what I mean. Yeah I also think like this. Primary stage is really interesting to find out exactly how well they can argue things and then in the general. It's just GONNA BE. Whoever the nominee is is a crazed socialist and whoever the nominee is out to round up all the guns and so like a even if we don't pick the actual literal socialist. They're just GONNA get called that by Republicans for like a year. I mean there is there. Is this like nervousness some ethic among Democrats that like. Oh No if it's Bernie or you know particularly burning but you know. It's going to be a chaotic election in the election is going to be chaotic. No matter who it okay are nuts right. Democrats aren't going to be like. Oh No vote. It's been too contentious like that's just. I don't understand that argument but okay. Let's talk about so I just want to say for the record we all know. I'm in the BAG Elizabeth Warren. I thought she was fucking fantastic and super presidential during the debates. But we don't need to harp on that because you guys all know how I feel I will however I do think though. Let's just quickly make the case for Bernie. What why would he be a good commander in chief? Why would he do well in the General? What is the case for him? I when I THINK ABOUT SANDERS IN WARREN. I feel like they both come to a lot of the same policies but from sort of opposite directions like sanders came from it being even more socialist ideological. Yeah and then. Warren came to it from being a Republican and then seeing Republicans ravaged the economy. You know it's very interesting paths for both of them and I. I'm trying to see the choice between them as like a nice opportunity. You know it's real lucky to have both of them around. It's like tough that I always yet But I don't know I think it's a good thing. They're both great Awoke Jody. What's what is the case if someone wanted to go. Pull the lever for Bernie well other than you know. He's running away with the thing. I mean we'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes. South Carolina Franchises me. Even Elizabeth. Warren is saying we have to play by the rules as they exist this flawed as they are and you know so that is but in the General Bernie. Sanders is the riskiest candidate in their strict in a strict definition of risk. Which is he has the highest upside and the high and the lowest downside and I think that makes a lot of people nervous. But you know I do think we have to look at the up. How big the upside is I mean? If you were to make a list of things that Bernie Sanders needed to do over the course of the primary to Kinda like check boxes and show that he can get things done. He is kind of going through that list. I mean he won the first two contests then. He went to Nevada where he sort of showed that he can win the diverse coalition his argument. About turn out. There has been pretty. Big turnout not bonkers. Turn up pretty big turnout. But it hasn't been like they're arguing that there that there would be sort of sea change type turn out and that hasn't been the case in in these primaries so sure but when when you get to general election and everything's just him versus trump and again you know the upside is there. I do think the next things on the kind of checklist are things that are going to be a little harder for birdie which is frankly a little what you were discussing earlier. Which is like tightening up his talking points and in a way like doing it in a way that will mollify the party elites and you know you do have to sort of play that game but Bernie has shown no interest. I mean that's kind of wiping like in playing that game. So that's the big question I think of the next few weeks But you know there is like he has done everything that you would ask of someone in his position up to this point. I feel like if he shows a little heart and discipline and maybe a touch of remorse on some of the bad votes that it will he can. He can really pull it out of the bag for Democratic primary voters who are like you know questioning him I think part of the reason people like him is that he's never like he has a little bit of a trumping quality where he doesn't say. I'm sorry and he you know what I mean. He has at least he has. He has played by the rules. He did begrudgingly support. Hillary Clinton in two thousand sixteen like he has done the things. You're sort of supposed to do if he can do them with a little more. Gusto and little more politicking. Then he'd be really in a great position. I think not only for Democratic primary voters who are questioning him. You're just discovering Elizabeth Warren your discovery Elizabeth learning trying not to promote. That is the. This is what I'm saying like it's possible. He's a fucking adult. He's got all the fancy smart people. They know what to do. So do it. You know what I mean so do that. Well I know I was just saying that they also. I think I was kind of saying. They're both the same ways but also one thing that is nice for him as he can a little bit run against the Democratic Party. Kinda like at like their way. Trump was yes against the Republican Party. Trump never meant it but he could run against like Bush's Wars a little bit. You know and Bernie can say I. I'm a great Democratic candidate and I don't do a lot of their mistakes whether or not that's totally true or not. It's a really convincing. Pitch for people right. Yeah Okay Lemme. Let's quickly also. Now make the case for Biden because Biden. Scott he's he's seemingly in the polls ahead of everybody in South Carolina You know the population of South Gate. What is it fifty percent African American or something? It's very African American voters in South Carolina. So that's going to be like a very big litmus test for that demographic and then he also just got the endorsement of Clyburn in Congress which is like a really big deal for South Carolina. is the case for pulling the lever for. Biden is where I think like it used to be. You know so many candidates and now that we've winnow down but I think he fell into being like maybe the third best democratic option like by attrition. I thought people like Hooghly. Castro were amazing and now they're just not in it anymore. I right but of of the People. Who ARE NOT Sanders and Warren? I think I'm the most into him. It's very very interesting. Yeah I did a little side by side comparison yesterday of Biden and Bernie you know like for example both went and cash bail. They WanNa both eliminate mandatory minimum sentences and private prisons and raise the federal minimum wage to fifteen dollars an hour You know there's a he you know. He indicate support of paid family leave which is a big progressive platform as well You know there. There's a lot of things on which he's actually you know quite progressive and then there are some things where know for example like He. He wants to end new oil and gas leases on federal land and offshore drilling but maybe support some limited fracking or understands fracking. Might be a transitional energy the way I think club Charles appointed Has that position? He wants to tax carbon emissions. It versus like this imposing severe regulations. On so he's maybe a little bit role best robust on some of these other issues where a progressive candidate would be more robust. Yeah and I think everybody's pushed him left a bit too and that's okay. Yeah and I think yeah so if you WANNA pull the lever for Biden and look many Americans do so. That's just something we reckon with. Though I believe they should be doing warrant. Doesn't matter but no but if you WANNA pull over for Biden you're not pulling the it's not the Biden of twenty two thousand eight right. It is a slightly more liberal Joe Biden and I think that's you know something that could hearten Democratic primary voters if in fact we do end up with Biden as the as the nominee. I think that's a great summation of where he says policy. I'll just point out sort of electorally. I mean this is. This is the case with these primaries. Where every two days? There's an entirely new conventional wisdom and actually does have an impact than people react. But you know all along Biden strategy was kind of. I'm GonNa let the first three certainly the first to go and I'm just going to wait for South Carolina and asking me my firewall and go from there and there is a pretty good chance that that exact strategy could start to play out and we just need to remember that like the for any of this voting started we had a notion of what Biden strategy was. That is still in place you know. I Don I think certainly the way. He fell off a cliff in the first three states says something years you know his chances for South Carolina. I don't know when people are gonNA listen to this but it says were south. Carolina are going up. I think he is in the driver's seat. Bear and then you never know if he can consolidate that lane. It may just be that. Oh by the knew what he was doing. All right and then a third of the population votes on Super Tuesday. But remember that. Still more than half of the population awaits. They're GONNA ask you a question because you started by saying this thing has been going on forever and then you said but only a small percentage of states decide. How do you how do you? How do you square those things because if you want if your instinct is? I want everyone to have a say. What are you talking about is a year long? We hold off on this and drags and drugs and drugs wanting about a same day prime with ranked choice voting or a same day primary with a runoff as well So that's what I'm talking about. And that and the Democratic Party can design ways through where they placed Debates and through where they do Straw. Polls Bob La to make that Make it so that. The candidates go to rural areas above above others just ways of design it to make it still friendly this state so. I know that's an issue anyways. We're not talking about that today today. We are going to Okay so that was the point was I wanted to make a case for Bernie Casey Biden and So that I am not so ward and I think I think Biden is. The most reasonable way can make a mistake. It's the absolute best most straightforward most honorable error with its own campaign poster in the most reasonable way to make a mistake. Yeah yeah the the crazy Bloomberg Guy who just bought your vote with NFC BE? Ads pointed at you totally And I sort of feel actually feel very much that way about Global Charton and Pete to that. They're they're they're good right like there are good bits on public service before. Yeah so I feel like I. I don't think we should be so fucking down About the candidates and I don't think that Bernie nomination is the end of the world away everybody's writing about it but I think it's because it's either you write about that or the corona virus this week so I feel like fuck that narrative you know what I mean. We have a slate of very excellent candidates. Plus a billionaire. Who wants to buy your vote So you know remember that and one other little thing that's worth keeping in mind is just that as chaotic is. That debate felt as much as it felt like. They were all going after each other. No one is going to remember it in six months. I mean we will just forgotten. And there is also empirical evidence that tends to show that contested primaries don't mean that the candidate emerges more heart in general it's just it's just the guys reset button when we get into the general and there will be huge things that we can't even foresee now when it's in the general and so you know. I know it makes people nervous relook. Our we should get a long ago. We're saying stage. That then is going to get used in the fall. They're gonNA find that the awful things to say in the fall regardless of what set the stage in late February so just everyone take a quick break and then when we come back we'll talk rotavirus. Think getting into that. As easy getting out is hard especially if your credit score isn't great thankfully there's upstart dot com the revolutionary lending platform. That knows you're more than just your credit score guys have you guys. I've been in debt in my life all my God. 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Please come visit be so fun to have you and we are back at where ready for topic number one point five okay. The CD's principal deputy director said this week. That it quote. It's not a question of if it's a question of when and how many people will be infected referring to the crow virus You know this is. This is what makes mothers around the country. Call their daughters in utter panic worse so I did when you when you said your mom has called you twice a day. I was like Oh. Is She busy or something? It's call from my mom. She called twice once. Because I couldn't really talk and then another. She called the day before anyways. It's she saw like basically two days in a row. I don't exaggerate my claims. She's not a crazy person but she is like a worry wart So I guess it's An and you know what it is it's like I mean I think for me too. It's the images out of Italy for summary. I mean it's like for some reason you sort of like well. A Western country will have exactly the right to response to this situation and they will shut down immediately in. There won't be a problem and everyone will be on the streets of Milan and then to see the streets of Milan. Empty in the news footage. I think that is quite shocking. So do you feel like they're some basically is it? Are we at mom panic or should we be? Where trump is where he's like. Everything's fine. Don't worry my mother or trump who I trust general election decision. Yeah well it's it's the kind of thing where as an individual I I don't know what to do about a global pandemic really like I like. I'll save up some food and try to wash my hands a lot and stuff. Yeah But I'm just trying to be wary. I'm flying from JFK to lax tomorrow. So I'm not a wise person but I am I'm hopeful it'll work out And we'll see what happens. I don't know I mean it. It seems to me like this was the week in which a lot of people realized. This is going to be a thing that we live with and actually I see some hope there because I think a lot of the pieces that that came out this week. I'll give a shout out to my friend. Jim Hamilton who wrote a piece for the Atlantic? They thought it was the smartest on this front. Which is basically saying a lot of the world is going to get this thing but the reason that it spreads so fast and we weren't able to contain it is because a lot of the cases are mild or ASEM dramatic and that means that it is a very serious virus but it is not it is not these things where you get it and all of a sudden everyone realizes you have it and you get quarantined and so forth. So you know. I think I've chatted with him. I think you know. Subtlety is what's so ranger success. Just going to be in a couple of years like right. Now what when we enter a winter. We have the the flu and pneumonia. And you know. Now we'RE GONNA the flu. Pneumonia and chronic viruses. Going to be one of those things that is out there that we're going to have to deal with to me. I think the real danger and this is trump. Is You know I think scares me is in the the political response And that's where I think it's going to be both both in terms of containment of it but also I. My hunch is what trump is going to do is go from one. Extreme of everything's GonNa be fine all the way to another extreme of. I don't know I mean I you know but it does scare me. The risks shutting things down and taking sort of release strongmen. A moment of like a war would be shut. Everything down to the border equivalent of dealing with this is that is to me. I think you know real. Fear is the sort of political response in a real worry because you know in his head. I think containment is the only bar and this is going to grow regardless of what politicians do and it's really about mitigating that growth and being smart and thinking about this as a thing that's GonNa be with us for over years in decades and he's not built that way. And what did you guys think of him? Naming pence has the head of the project. Dr Mike Pence that that I'm trying to be an optimist about things and when I saw that press conference which was not a good press conference and not any good ideas I also thought like at least at least trump supporters will have heard of the disease like good if we're so divided in our media diets at least him talking about it as like an awareness campaign. But that's the only good thing. Mike Pence is there to be a scapegoat or do nothing. That's right that's what I sort of felt. It felt like a weep. I'm going to put this guy. That's an afterthought in my entire administration at the end of the thing and I think you know. Obviously a eyebrows were raised because under pences watch an Indiana. There was an AIDS outbreak And they wanted him to provide clean needles for intravenous drug users and he wouldn't do it because we thought it would promote more drug use And instead it actually created this AIDS outbreak of your data and science. Everyone told him like so. So so that's I mean I think a big concern is that he hasn't shown any real good judgment on this type You know viruses in the past. Also they move. I don't know if I'm like To EASILY UPSET. But every time trump or the media reports this is a stock market story. Really bugs me really don't like it it's a it's a disease it's people's lives but in terms of things that will affect trump. It's his attention and also frankly be threats to his reelection. I genuinely think this could be a threat to his reelection right. Because of both the stock market which I think he equates with the economy that's a whole nother thing but he uses it as a way to save the economy doing well which I think is his strongest argument so if that goes off the table because of this has direct elctoral implications and because of his behavior and his reaction and I mean if he takes draconian measures. It will be something that I think. I think it genuinely has a bill to agree. And it's so odd. Because right now we're in that phase of his psyche where he feels so. He's so arrogant. He thinks that under his presidency. Corona virus won't affect off fucking bananas. But that's like the message right and so I but I wanted to mention a couple of things those you might be panicking out there. Just remember like how SARS like. When do you remember feeling what happened it was? I don't remember very much but it was essentially like a wash. Your Hands Campaign That that kind of put an end to SARS SARS was I think was less Leaf Ol- I think more was a little more contained. But I I it's important to remember these previous. Don't talk about nineteen sixteen but you know other than that right so yeah so I so the Washer hands thing still very important guys. Wash your hands and then another one. Which is I think harder are harder. Habit to break is coughing into your elbow. Not your hand because we learned as kids to cough into your hand. That's a bad idea. You cough into your elbow guys So do that and then yeah like keep some I mean. Look they're saying that you should be prepared. And just hopefully you won't have to use any of these You know precautions but like have a month supply of food and have if you're on some sort of medication have a month supply of that also weirdly. I mean the weirdest thing is that so many of drugs get made in China So they're a supplier for so especially antibiotics. I think the other positive thing that could come out of this as recognizing that one country shouldn't have some sort of monopolistic dominance over the you know the the manufacturer of some very important things in our lives. You know what I mean like. Let's vodka and diversify guys anyways so yes there's an at a safe distance to from people who are coughing and stuff like that is six feet. You know a avoid Japan Italy Iran and China and South Korea right now for travelling purposes. And I think if you're sick stay home from work. Yeah Yeah Yeah so many many elements that are just like good things to do like. I've only been in new a couple of days at everyone's been offering me hand sanitizer all the time and I'm like Oh what are you. Topi in society. We're just giving the same advice that we get every flu season. But you know for real this time. This time -actly. Yeah basically washing here all the time and then wash surfaces. Oh that's a big way. It gets things get transmitted as surfaces. You put your hand on a surface and Bert previously someone to caught on that surface. So you know you counters. You desks do some nice wiping. 's Aren't you guys? We are going to move onto topic number two okay so Last week bays that he was giving ten billion dollars of his own money to climate change. He's worth one hundred thirty billion now so we can just see what percentage let us Amazon by the way is also one of the biggest polluters in the world. Okay whatever also side note and companies like Microsoft and Delta have also announced climate change as part of their mission. It seems to be a growing trend. this is one we should believe. In like admit intergovernmental governmental inaction is this. You know our co- or corporations the answer. No they're not. I feel like I feel like a corporation job is like is truly to make money like that's what they exist to do. Government job is to like manage that and take care of us and so. It's the government's job if a corporation wants to do anything that's great. It's also probably free advertising and marketing for themselves as a positive force So anything they want to do is good but Yeah I don't know I also just always hung up on. Jeff bezos is company being named after one of the most famous rainforests and yet. They're they're a huge. You know detriment to that. It's very weird and probably an accident. I I mean I I agree. I think with as with most things when someone does something. It's very good to take half a step back in and sort of look at what their motivations are and you know what what why they really doing that said like at this point. I will take you know crass Capitalistic incentives for two if it means actual action but I I think the the the interesting conversation that is has spurred that this has spurred is around the kind of larger context of yes. These corporations are are making cer- certain efforts but then you look at the you know the political lobbying they do and I you know the the playing the game of Well this is only X. percentage of his wealth I am. I don't know about that and I always just like these. People are Super duper duper wealthy. Look at the actual amount. They're giving and see if that will make a change. But I do think a lot of these corporations that are like giving money on one hand or making statements on one hand and then like donating to Dysfunctional Congress on the other. You Know Mitch. Mcconnell who has held up a bunch of these legislations and it's ultimately going to be political action. That's all these things. That is something that we should absolutely interrogation. Yeah and I WANNA point out the case that you're talking about is you know Microsoft pledges to go carbon negative twenty thirty Which means they WANNA be removing carbon from the atmosphere and Thomas Things I wanna do is invest in carbon capture. And that's fantastic. The only problem is carbon capture. It doesn't really exist yet. Like in a in a in an actual feasible form that could have like effect on a global scale so so some of these. These promises are a little bit like may but then the weird thing about Microsoft. As jody was mentioning is that they've also you know heavily donated to the election of Mitch. Mcconnell who basically questions climate change science and has like a seven percent lifetime score from the League of conservation voters so he's garbage what comes to conservation and an climate change. Well everyone has one fault. Let's let's just a lot of these. Things is does come down to political will political action and long term thinking on the part of our elected officials and that is not. We're not living in a sort of golden age for that. No and again like I think it's interesting to look at these different countries and what they're doing how meaningful it is not. I think. Let us not be overly impressed by their claims. I think that's something that we should look at because part of what upsets me. Is that a major precipitating factor for all of these Climate change climate change becoming a part of their corporate missions of ladies huge companies. Is that this Guy Larry Fink of BLACKROCK WHO INVESTS. They have majority stakeholding in so many of these companies. He basically came out with a letter. Apparently right some fucking famous ladder every year or whatever and he came out with this letter that's like climate change has to be a part of what we do and what corporations do and you know it can't just be profit and that's great and so then black rock you know. One of the things they said was She Hits Ari as I look for the thing that they said that they would no longer invest in companies deriving twenty five percent or more of their revenues from thermal coal. And that's great but then it actually only affects about a quarter of the emissions from coal right like they weren't like work completely divesting from thermonuclear right. So so so again like that's great Larry. That's fantastic that you said that with your famous little letter and then that's you know that's great that you're that black rock won't Invest In companies driving twenty five percent or more of their revenues or thermal cult. But it's like you could have gone further same with Jeff Bezos. Right like ten billion dollars. That's great like super fantastic for you and for the globe. Hopefully however you have more money than that and also your company is the is a big big big big polluter so what is your company going to do and you know and some of those things are are true and good like republic replacing the trucks with electric fleet. You kind of have to carry through. Where does the electricity come from for that fleet? Okay is it coming from solar panels? That's great if it's coming from win that's great if it's not if it's coming from coal that is not great. You know what I mean so we need to like. We need more transparency basically. What exactly does all of this mean when it's coming from someone like Jeff Bezos and Amazon Delta for example? So that they're they're a huge huge third airline. They're fucking airline right so they're going to be a huge carbon emitter bids by March first. They're going to go carbon neutral so basically what that means for Delta. It doesn't mean that planes are solar-powered. Obviously it means that they're GONNA do all they're going to buy carbon offsets and that's great But also we don't know exactly how much carbon offsets actually offset you know it could be your F- funding the an entirely new forest. It could mean you're funding some someone not to cut down a forest. It's like A. It's unclear anytime I try to read a story about carbon offsets. I feel like I'm reading about like trades in a sport. I don't know like it's really. It's very hard to follow. It's like their trading their stuff for a coral reef to be named later and like. I don't know what's going on in question though because earlier. You mentioned and I think about the two. I'm curious where you're at like that. A lot of this feels like marketing. And that we're at a point now. It feels like it's it's cynical but it's you know a good look to talk about these things. Do you think we're still at that place where you see. A lot of these. Big corporations already think get started to shift over if you have like doing nothing a spectrum of doing nothing doing something because it's good marketing doing something because it's good economic interest and then do something because it's the right thing to do. I don't think we're at that at the right thing to do level yet but we shifted from people are acting because it's good marketing people are acting because there's actually an economic incentive to act. That's a great question. I think it's easy to say. It's a mix but like I actually with the presidential stuff. I've been thinking about Tom. Steyer a lot. 'cause Tom Steyer is like other than pointlessly running for president and wasting our time pretty cool. He's done he's a bumper sticker. He made a bunch of body and then he Twenty good things like in twenty ten. He put five million bucks into defeating a ballot measure that would have held back a bunch of California environmental legislation and like like there are people out there like that who all the way from small business owners who are saying like I want to be one of the small businesses good to people who worked their way up to being the CEO Delta or something and say like. Oh I really WanNa do something good. There are those people out there and then also it's a good way to market to the country and it's just so hard to pull apart seem that he's spending most of his post business life apologizing for having made so much money in his business life and trying to make good on it. I mean it doesn't feel that way with Thomas Dyer actually yeah and if he bankrolled like hundreds of progressive candidates instead of buying all of Iowa airtime he would be the best right. Love it right which is also I will say one of the arguments for Bloomberg. Sorry to say this when he can again we will see but he has pledged to continue to spend at this rate regardless of who the nominee is And I don't think it's just a crisis of conscience though it's a mix of all these things. I hope. Mike doesn't hear the things I've been saying about him and I do. I do want to say in terms of your spectrum of like doing nothing doing something because a good pr bub-bubba like dopes. Putting it a hundred million dollars a year on this offset if we see actual transparency an actual reporting of where the hundred million dollars go. What did that offset? What was you know like I want and I and real investigative reporting on that then one hundred million dollars a shitload of money? You know what I mean does dig into their profits right like that's a number. That is something that's putting a dent in profit and I think that at least is admirable. I will also like it's worth noting that the conversation has shifted to these bigger systemic things now may be bigger systemic moves on the part of businesses off obviously moves on the part of you know we are not having an environmental climate crisis conversation based on like you should recycle your cup or you should change your light bulbs all those personal behavior. Things are important but I think we've at least sort of flipped and realized that it's going to take big structural changes and this is an indicator of that. That was just a way of me mentioning. Oh No I you guys and I. I WANNA point out like that. The conversation has shifted in. I think one more thing that I would love to add to. The shift is like like us being a really aware of the transparency. Piece like what it is that we're doing that. Our governments might be doing that. These corporations might be doing because for example you know at at Amazon some employees complained that Amazon was still working with oil and gas. And the ad written like you know Letters about it and then they were told that you know they they receive letter saying hey if you keep complaining about this like you might be fired so that's the kind of. Oh that's the kind of thing department alternative. That's the kind of thing that I'm just like. Well that's what we don't want. You know what I mean. If you believe in doing this that also means that that your employees should be free to be transparent about what the company does not do when it comes to their environmental policy so I don't know let me go guys. Let me know what you think of corporations getting into the climate change game. Do you believe it. Where's your heart on this issue? I'm so excited to hear from you. let us move onto topic number three. So we read a piece by Maria. Browning called search of darkness in which he described all of these joyful moments of darkness from her childhood and she points out. I'm just GonNa read from her piece. We've mostly lost the darkness now even deep in the country half the houses are adorned with glaring twenty four hour lights that push into the surrounding woods it invade the sky in more urban places. There is scarcely a dark corner left though the whole world is lit up like an interstate. Truckstop nominally to make us safer so okay so this was a thought. This was really interesting piece. My first question is like what is your relationship to darkness in. Have you noticed a change in over your lifetime? I really I really related to the piece. As especially because a lot of darkness experiences also had to do with nature they. It wasn't her just sitting in a room in her house with the lights off race. Like going out and And I I had a lot of formative camping experiences and also my mom used to Volunteer at an observatory So we would go look at the stars with like groups and stuff and that's a very distinctive in my mind. Yeah and and that's my was never I was never doing that and also wound up about school or something. You know it's very peaceful right and so have you felt like darkness has changed Well spent a lot of time in la. It's not really there. You can find it pretty quick. I mean when you think about sort of the mountains or whatever you can actually in twenty minutes yes get to a place where your own stars. You know a good point. Yeah you can you can drive to it fast and here you probably have to take the the Metro North or whatever it is people do But yeah it's It has to be sought out and you have to put some resources into it but then it's great Jody what's your relationship. I I mean mostly similar to you know to Alex is I mean. I think like I've spent Vittoria say mom Amulet that match over again. I think I think especially if you live in a city but I think just in general like you're going into the middle of nowhere and looking up and seeing stars is one of those things that will never get old like spring year. Spring happens on my call shit spring then crazy like it's never the thrill never dies away and that's one thrill that is always there for me. I try and seek it out. I mean I do also think though I think when I was at I was at WNYC for many years and we did a whole series about light pollution in the city. And I do think it. There has been a conversation over the last ten years a little bit about that and about light being a form of pollution. I think it's gotten a little better. Maybe I'm just more attuned to it but I feel like people are realizing like people are realizing that like the blue light off of their phones is not very good at are realizing when you sleep you want to be genuinely in. I've started wearing a sleep mask when I sleep because I think it's like you want to be and it really helped seven dollars. I think we Like a lot of things were starting to realize the sort of benefit in the simplest things right. I mean my relationship with darcus interesting. 'cause I grew up in the desert and then so in Palm Springs California. Very has an interesting. You know they have a a a light pollution policy. Because you know when you're in the desert you do want to look up and see the stars in its and you can see them like quite perfectly you know and and so at night it was always like very dark and they don't do a lot of street lights like they're just there. Isn't that much of that stuff. I mean we do have some of it. But it's it's definitely noticeably darker when I'm there than any other you know if I'm in a suburb of some other city I would not feel that kind of the kind of darkness that I do and Palm Springs. I do think one of the things that has has changed is is the kind of I think in in suburban contacts the like House that puts on the light in the thing the doorway area for like For Security I feel like that has become more and now that everybody has like those cameras that can easily be hacked into or whatever then are like dangerous onto themselves those cameras on on the porch or whatever. I think those get I'm talking about. I know I sound crazy talking about them because I live in an apartment. So I'm like what is a porch. You know what I mean but but like but I feel like that whole system of like you know security. I has really led to a lot more of those kinds of lights and that I feel like it's something that I've noticed Even going back to palm springs where we didn't really have very much of that stuff Growing up I feel like I see it now but you know I remember as a kid. there was this you know in. High School. There's this place in Palm Springs called the circles which was essentially just cold tax. That had not been built on and so they were literally circles. Cul De sac circles like pavement pattern like a crop. It was just some pavement was in the shape of a circle built the house and they never bought the house. I don't know if they ever did but anyways they never built the house at the time. The head of the House so kids would go over there and like back in may be have us the cigarette or whatever right and I was actually not cool enough to go to the circles but I I did go A few times out. Psa chess and the people who made me feel unwelcome circles. I knew I knew my fucking status guys. I DIDN'T NEED TO BE I. Didn't feel it. That hard okay. This weird pavement and then one little velvet rope. I can't go. How long rolling. And then when they can't use the turnaround backup no and the thing about it actually got even darker than the just again velvet rope on the circle because there's something called the tunnels a lot just physical structures that we like to call by their name in this town a very impressive but I think in the I think the tunnels were very close to the circle so you can walk to the tunnels and it was just like a little tunnel underneath the desert. That can you know it was not very long it was. Let's say forty feet long or whatever and you would walk through them and it was very scary because it was really fucking dark And you would go to the other side. And that was the whole point of the tunnel but but but the thing weird thing about the desert is that the moon very intensely illuminates everything so. I remember as a child being like God this moon and really has got it shit together like it's very effective and I you know and it's definitely something you know you sort of living in New York City. Never the moon is very much an afterthought a of your your time because it's not eliminating like the no. It's not doing its job. But a look up. And you catch it right especially like the The Silhouette of the moon against an interesting building. And you're like uh Manhattan. You have that moment can point out something in this piece which I really love as well. But you know she she. She describes really moments. Where she she? She loves being in the dark and she talks sort of wandering in the woods as the as the sun falls are being in her mother's house by herself and an. It's dark there but I think a lot of the situation she's describing it's not just darkness but it's also solitude and quiet and these other things that are just as important and you know maybe it's not so it's not just you need to be in darkness it's just we need to cherish moments where we're kind of with ourselves we're not fielding a million kinds of inputs And I think darkness is a good proxy for that. Because chances are you're standing in the dark you might be alone in quiet But those are the moments that actually I think. Lead to the kind of beautiful things. She's writing about here. Wow I go ahead I disagree. You're standing in a dark room to fucking looking at twitter. Listening to a podcast. Because it's funny. You're right a lot of her. She was clearly like a solitude person and her mother and she also talked about her mom living in the woods her mama left suburbia or like or like not even. She was in a small town and and a couple of people had started to move into the area and she couldn't handle the lights and she moved into the woods where there was really really nothing. And that's where she felt the most calm and I was just like Oh. This is fucking on Walden Pond. Shit right here you know what I mean but like that whole. Noche the MA. It's funny because my meaningful memories of darkness is was surrounded by other burnable and darkness and that and that's I've never been one of the solitude guys you know what I mean like. I'll I'll fucking do a meditation. I get that I have to because I got the Yankees but I don't I am. I am not interested in in in a in a world where I don't see people in and so for me. Darkness is not sheet for her. It's definitely a solitude thing and I think for me. It's more of just appreciating The kind of magnificence of what the moon does and how it does. Its job and that you can do that very quickly. Say that there's common ground between us. My ideal situation is being surrounded by a number of people but no one is saying anything. That's honestly I kind of wish that I was hoping this reality. It should just be us and we make a campfire the world. We've I can skyrocket to number one on the kit like can also point out the interesting thing because you sort of think of cities as being bastions of light or whatever and my experience of Vana Cuba is that it is also very dark. Anyone in did you feel that way in Havana. I mean there's an old server is a part of the Old City that has sort of closed in and so you end up in these alleys or the small road feel like closed in. I don't you know as I mean they. So this is something that really struck me when I was there and I don't know if it was like in my head or if it was actually happening but a lot of like electricity usage is very low in the country. Just because it's a poor country and they don't you know lot of like fluorescent lights and that and and so in the street light lamps are pitched very low so they're like nat eliminating very much It's very odd and I remember in the thing. Is You know. A lot of the streets are sort of crumbling in the sidewalks or not you know clean and clear sidewalks that you can just you know confidently make your stride and so when when it was dark and I remember constantly be like Because it was because it wasn't very illuminated and we were really struck by that In various parts of Havana to feel that way and I also think am I. Don't again I I have no idea but I also wonder if that's you know. Maybe they also nationally treasurer darkness. You know a making a claim but there it is what America. It's a pretty new country. A lot of our stuff was built after electricity. So it's Kinda hard to find places like that and maybe maybe we value it more because we Lack at all over the place. I think Bernie. Cuba's relationship with darkness unplugging stuff and we we. We've had this fairly long discussion about darkness and none of us have said whether we're afraid of the dark. Well thanks the question about security right like. Do you actually feel safer with that porch light that black glaring porchlight than yeah and I guess I mean that sort of deeper level like there's one it's like I mean they built environment and there's a dark pocket and something bad could happen versus the woods just the fact that there's no light. Does that scare me yes it is. I always I always treat myself like I have a superpower when that night vision comes back. I'm like ooh now. I can see but I appreciate that. Yeah I mean yeah I so you're not scared of the dark I as a kid like extremely But you know. I'm doing pretty good but my question. So cousin to that question is do. You feel like lightness helps with security. Because that's I think a claim we've sort of all bought into an eye and it might be dubious. Yeah I think I think people who are strapping a bunch of lights to their house for security specifically or maybe just just thinking about scary things rather than make themselves safer. Yeah also anytime I approach. Somebody's house like sometimes in La and they had those motion lanes that just come on. I always feel like I'm doing a crime even if I know the person and drop the bag of gold run away. Yeah okay well you guys. What is your relationship to darkness and read this piece. I thought it was a lovely. You guys that's the end of the show. How do you feel I feel? Is this the last one that comes out before Super Tuesday? Yes yes this is the last one to come out before Super Tuesday. Hey Do the right thing folks Warren Sanders one of those mostly wore. I'm not gonNa tell you what the right thing is but I'm also just going to list a couple of names of candidates I'm just GonNa slide a note across the table at home Jody do you have any final words of encouragement? Half a third of the country votes on Tuesday everyone calm down take a deep breath just not near someone who's coughing. We'll be fine darkness. Chill out and then vote and then vote. It's like literally just go. Sit in a dark room is probably after tall. Spec goes into a dark room and think about Elizabeth Warren. Okay you guys I would love for the people to be able to fall you and all the stuff that you do not abrogate. Where do they do that I'm on twitter at Jodi with the WII again I also have a newsletter So people can sign up for that on my website. Jody arrogant awesome. I didn't know yet a newsletter. Holy Shit Alex where people find Alex Schmidt latest year at Alex Committee on twitter and L. DOT COM. 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A Bull Moose Gets Shot (1912) w/ Alex Schmidt

This Day In Esoteric Political History

22:59 min | Last week

A Bull Moose Gets Shot (1912) w/ Alex Schmidt

"I. WanNa. Take a moment to tell you about another show. Israel story is a national radio show and podcast that produces high quality long form storytelling about Israel hosted by Michele Harmon. The show is produced in partnership with Tablet magazine. It tells extraordinary stories about regular people living in Israel. The kind you won't see on the news or read about online Israel story is often called the Israeli, this American life including by IRA glass himself, and that's just it. The show presents quirky unpredictable, interesting, and moving stories about a place. We think we know a lot about, but really don't subscribe, listen and enjoy Israel story today. So can I tell you about the first book I read after the two thousand, sixteen election. It was a biography of Silvio Berlusconi the story of his rise to power in Italy it's one that I think has a lot of parallels lessons for today. So I'm really glad that there is a new podcast series from one dri called Bunga Bunga that takes on the Silvio Berlusconi story it is hosted by legendary Comedian Whitney Cummings and it tells the story of how one master manipulator hypnotize an entire country. This is an important lesson about corruption and the way that Italy eventually started to fight back especially, the three women at the heart of the story I'm really glad it's being told, and at the end of this episode, you're going to get a brief preview of the series Bunga Bunga. So stick around for that, and while you are listening subscribe on Apple podcasts or you can listen early and ad free. Plus in the wondering at. So. Again, stick around after the episode for a sneak preview of Bunga. Dunga Bunga from wondering. Support for NPR comes from nation builder software for leaders whether you're advocating for your community, supporting a campaign, running a nonprofit or even running for office. There are people out there fired up to help you nation builder can help you inspire them to take action. It puts your website crm communications and fundraising tools all in one place. So you can focus on your 'cause Goto nation builder, dot com slash P. R., X. Start a fourteen day free trial and get an additional month of service free. Hello, and welcome to this day in. Esoteric. Political history from. Radio Topa, my name is jody advertise. This October thirteenth while technically fourteenth in. Nineteen twelve. Teddy Roosevelt gave a campaign speech in Milwaukee. Screen that's not interesting he was doing. So as a third party candidate, the nominees, the the so-called full moves he of course had already been president. But now after a term away, he was back trying to run for a third term. Okay. That makes the story a little more interesting. Now, listen to this his speech began with the words and I quote friends I shall ask you to be as quiet as possible I. Don't know whether you fully understand I have just been shot. A Ha. So that is the reason that we were talking about this Roosevelt speech he was giving it after having just been shot while getting into his car on the way to the speech the bullet still lodged in his chest blood seeping through his shirt and he carried on and gave a ninety minute speech on that night in Milwaukee. So let's talk about it here as always is Nicole Hammer of Columbia Hello Nicki feel bad that I don't have that good of an opening line. seriously. Podcasters I should just let you know that I just ate pancakes for breakfast. And also with us, our special guest today is Alex Schmidt friend of the show and hosts the new podcast secretly incredibly fascinating Alex. thank you for doing. This is so good to be here. I'm fresh off farmers market I. Feel Good. It's not getting shot something. You are your own kind of Bull Moose I suppose. and I will say the new show from Alex. is really great. They take something that is secretly incredibly fascinating like pairs or the planet Venus and talk about for each episode so you should check that out but he is here to help us talk about Teddy Roosevelt getting shot. So you WanNa you WanNa, paint the scene. I. Kind of mentioned that he was he got shot in his way to this speech after leaving dinner. But what else do we need to know about this actual incident? Yeah it's I. Thank you for all that it's it's a thing where it's October of an election year. So imagine the things are at a fever pitch especially with a three way race with a former president and an incumbent and Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt is in Milwaukee. He's entering his car outside a hotel and John Shrank who is only famous to history for this comes up and tries to put a bullet in him but he has a thick overcoat on. He has a glasses case. We all know his glasses and has fifty pages of speech all to slow down the bullet in a way that saves his life bullets. So enters his chest though, right? Nikki. It does I mean first of all thank God that he was long winded and nearsighted because that glasses case in that speech really did slow the damage that it did and you know. Roosevelt was an a naturalist he was like an outdoorsman. So we'd spent a lot of time hunting, and so he gives himself his own self assessment he coughs into his hands and when he sees that there's no blood there he's like, okay I didn't get shot in the lungs like it's in my chest but on my lungs so I can still go and the speech and he does and you know he search strong the ending was a little more a little tougher for him as he began to start to feel the effects of having been shot in the chest. Yea I think. So I mean he should suppress that look like I wouldn't even give the speech after eating dinner, which is what he did because I just feel like I'm a little sleepy after eat I don't want to give speech. He ate dinner got shot and still get the speech that he should get props and if he ran out of steam by the end you know I think that's understandable. Yeah and he does this interesting thing Alex also like immediately after getting shot, he confronts shrink right they Kinda Kinda like meet each others. It's really fascinating moment. It's very. people people now are like, where did all the politeness and the sweetness politics go at it is it is a little sweet that he says a quote don't hurt him bring him here. I want to see him and like checks on the guy I don't know and I. Just that he thinks he's so much of a gentleman he asks to I don't understand the mentality, but it was they worked but I think that he also wanted to figure out why the guy who just shot him and so he asks him and the Guy Doesn't answer and he's like well, you're used to me get Outta here and they take them away after that but. Right now I'm mad now it's now I'm. Let's do a little on shrinks motives, and then I wanNA talk a little bit about the larger political context of this moment. But you know what do we know Nikki as far as we can tell about why someone in? Milwaukee took a shot at Roosevelt well, the reason that he gives for shooting Roosevelt was that Roosevelt was doing something that had never been done before in US history he was running for a third term as president and you know Roosevelt had been. called a tyrant for doing this people worried that he was breaking this really important democratic norm that presidents gave up power after two terms and so that's kind of the broader critique I. Don't want to give too much credit here to shrank. He also said that he had a dream in which William McKinley visited him and told him that he needed to do away with with Roosevelt, but it was the third term thing that he pins the attempted assassination on. I'm also fascinated that I mean, obviously he's out of his mind but I'm fascinated that McKinley was the president he thinks told him to do it because McKinley was assassinated. It's almost as if McKinley was in the dream like this went great for me. He's GonNa. Love it. It's a really strange. Belief to have. I mean, this is also I. Think a little bit of a reminder of we've talked about this in the past but. Often. These motives are tough and I think you know someone who's unhinged anyway, and then they go online to sort of the political context and so you know, I, don't know I guess. I'm just expressing I. Don't know. I don't often know how to navigate these moments because I do want to understand it as a political act, but I also don't want to diminish or put aside the fact that these are often people who are just. Unstable and unhinged and behaving and kind of violent chaotic ways on it's. So I don't know like, do you think of this as a political act I do think of it as a political act I mean in part because he gives a political motive and you know we can we can get into how much that was actually the repulsive motor. Actually, we can't get into it. We can't really know the inside of his mind but I think one of the reasons that this. Motive sticks. So well is because it was part of a broader political debate over what Teddy Roosevelt was doing and part of the strangeness of the Nineteen Twelve Election wasn't just three candidates it was four. There was a socialist Eugene debs was running for the first time of his many many runs for president So it was chaotic kind of race and this just made it that much more chaotic. As seems like there's such pride to in even Washington only had two terms and and FDR hadn't happened yet and it was just a thing where. You. Don't support killing president but this guy thought I am going to somehow save democracy, which also makes him a megalomaniac and as you said, very well, jody unstable. Yeah. I mean, Alex, I mean, what do you make of the fact that reservoir then goes and gives that speech I mean it seems bad ass. But it also maybe a hint of like the guy who can't not run for third term also can't stop himself from go in and giving that speech. Exactly. Yeah. I I. It's it's interesting because I have always loved history and then I think as a kid, this was one of the things on. The highlight reel of Teddy Roosevelt is the coolest. He does anything he's a superhero, and then now that I am older and I also have done live comedy before I find it incredibly rude that he gave the speech that you just make an audience, sit there and listen to your prepared remarks when you've gotten shot, that's they're just all like sweating in their chairs. That's the worst thing you can do to a group of people very personally. Maybe it was a bit maybe it was like Andy Kaufman. S. Talk. A little. Yes and in response to getting shot. So Nicky. Where does this fit into the like you know the mythos of Roosevelt that the Alex was getting? Oh. It's completely in line with that. I mean, this is the the mythos that Roosevelt had been building as a rough rider when he was in the military, it's something that. Was So core to his presidential image this idea of. Masculinity was just everything that Roosevelt was about and getting shot in the chest and not letting it phase. You is exactly the kind of masculinity. Dare I say kind of toxic masculinity that Teddy Roosevelt was was promoting throughout his career as a politician. And even the name of the party that the nickname of the party I suppose you know this was the Progressive Party it was running on a progressive platform but it was commonly known commonly known as the Bull Moose Party I think that line comes from Roosevelt because. I'm down to run for a third term. I feel strong as a bull Moose, and I can't really pin this down in the story of this evening. But there is some reporting that he then in his speech says, he uses that that specific phrase he says, you know I've been shot but I'm going to continue you can't bring a bull moose down or whatever. So yeah. Totally fits into that hyper masculinity and then I also feel like. Then, there's this weird later Internet version where like there's that Internet picture of Roosevelt, riding a Moose and as I understand it, that's from a like faking of a picture made by a newspaper at the time but the Internet just mix it up as well. He can do anything like if he started the national parks and he had this party name, surely he rode hoofed animals that do not accept that in real life they're not on board. Nicky, what is I mean? What is the political platform of the Bull Moose Party and like as it really a vanity project to feed this man's ego or are they trying to find a late and we've talked a lot about kind of when third parties have thrived and how they fill you know an actual political. I'M GONNA, call this one a both, and there was a real split in the Republican Party between. Wing and a newly progressive wing and Roosevelt had been and more progressive president and he had grown more progressive during tafs. Presidency Taft had been his vice president and follows him after Brazil leaves office in nineteen o nine and it was sort of the early days of the progressive. Movement wanted stronger government. It wanted the government to do more for the health and welfare of the American people and this split that happens in one. Thousand Nine hundred twelve ultimately tears that progressive wing from the Republican Party for. Awhile by the Republican, party is so conservative in the nineteen twenties and we should say that this was a pretty popular standpoint. Roosevelt comes in second the way the election finishes is Woodrow Wilson Finishes I the Third Party candidate Roosevelt finishes second and the sitting President William. Taft finishes third no well and it is interesting to think obviously we think of. Of FDR as progressive champion and to sort of see the seeds of that may be in his in Teddy's campaign here I think is interesting Alex at. Another thing think we should talk about is that Roosevelt does in the wake of this kind of. Spin this on the tenor of the campaign as you as you hinted at and use it as a chance to say our politics is getting out of hand I. Wonder what you make of that I wonder what how you? Compare the politics of that time. Obviously, we're living in a moment. Now we're thinking we're thinking a lot about the tenor of our politics I mean, what do you make of him actually not just being macho but actually say This. This reflects something that You know this is a little more worrisome. I. It's a great thing to pick out 'cause you guys have picked out here that he said quote, it is a very natural thing that we can vicious minds should be inflame to acts of violence by the kind of awful mendacity and abuse Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah I feel like we've always said that about campaigns even though they're always wrath and they're always brutal and you even Adams and Jefferson saying the worst things in the world about each other from jump. It also I feel like that, and now it feels like what people say when they already have power and don't like that it's being challenged they're like, oh well, my opponents are so rude that's the problem here without actually justifying the Authority Bay heavenly, the platform they have to to be in charge of things we should also point out that this was a pretty vicious campaign right from the get go I mean Republicans. Saw, Roosevelt as basically betraying taft and Roosevelt had run in the Republican primary during that Primary Roosevelt backers taft backers were fighting. They were calling one another names they were throwing objects at one another like it had been a pretty rough and tumble campaign season. Already I think that at least as part of what Roosevelt is responding to this idea that if there's an air of violence around campaigns that it can create the. Atmosphere for this kind of event. Yeah. Yeah I mean I think about this lot I take your point Alex But I also think that. Yeah that like the coarsening of our politics or however you WanNa put it does have a trickle down effect and we've talked about incidents on this show. Before, where people look to their leaders and they don't lose them for like direct models but they put leaders create a permission structure in which to act in a certain way and I think we're seeing that now and you know, I tend to not kind of look for the fainting couch when I see politicians behaving badly. But I also like I understand that there is an effect there and so. I don't know and obviously it's something I'm thinking about a lot now. Oh, totally I, and maybe maybe I should have done the whole rest of the Roosevelt quote because at the end of it, he blames the papers like the Violence Nikki is speaking of that's violence. That's that's very worrisome but like he's he's blaming the words of the media for him getting shot and I don't think that's fair at all that that's not the only consistent thing in American politics is that politicians will turn around and blame the media so they. Indy Heat. You know one of the thing we should mention it certainly in the IT ties to some of the news now is you know we have a candidate here obviously who takes ill is shot ends up eventually ends up hospitalized What are the nuts and bolts mickey of just what happens to the campaign in the heat of the campaign and how does that? Echo were not echo to what we're seeing now, when trump ended up in the hospital and we have these other issues floating around. Yes what happens when a month before the campaign a major party candidate is? Is hospitalized well, in this case out of respect taft and Wilson suspend their campaigns tough wasn't really doing that much campaigning anyway because he was president Their online ads in the Texas suburbs? That's right. They were a little slow taking down the television ads, but the online ads came down right away. Yeah you know take a few days off Wilson needed a few days anyway because he had a a hoarse voice that he needed to rest. But after a few days, they're back out there roosevelt is enabled to give another speech for two weeks. So Wilson really has the field mostly to himself for the closing weeks of the campaign. And I also I I am heartened by a thing. I think I see across American history where we're just deeply uncomfortable with the president being harmed in any way at all it just as a nation, we're not good with. just at a secretly incredibly fascinating episode about President Franklin Pierce who does not loom large in history but was still alive and around when Lincoln was assassinated and it never happened before been a thing and he was living in New Hampshire and a crowd of local residents became a mob outside of his house because they felt that pierce was not a half staffing. As flag and doing enough like honoring of what had happened to Lincoln because it's just it's just very jarring to us across all of history for like in the story Roosevelt has been the president and he's been shot like that's that's the biggest story in the country immediately and none of us feel good about it well, i. think that's a good place to end it. So Alex Right Bank you so much of the show is secretly incredibly fascinating. So go check out that episode about Pearson a budget other fascinating things but thanks for doing. The scrape I I feel like a bull Moose. He said. Cornell. It feels. Nicole Hammer, thanks to you as always think sturdy. State. In political history is a proud member of the radio TOPI network from P. R. X. Our producer and researcher is Jacob Feldman our other producer is Brittany Brown. My name is, Jody Avirgan banks again for listening and we'll see you soon. All right here it is a trailer from wondering new series. Bunga Bunga. From wondering the makers, of Dirtyjohn, Dr Death and the strike next door comes. Silvio. Dunga, Bunga. This is the story of the rise of the BRASHEST billionaire turned politician. The world has ever known Silvio Berlusconi the man who brought American TV. J. American, real estate and reality show style politics. He turned his country upside down and did it twenty years before it happened here? He was able to create this sort of culture around him. Struck me at the time as a nouveau riche vulgar. Very Shrewd, very clever. Him Women wanted to be with him. He said is that girls are you ready for the boom boom boom? The Maze Mansions in. Don't be. Better. I'm Whitney Cummings and my new eight part miniseries. Boga Boga is a bail bought apple podcasts or you can listen early and ad free by joining wondering plus in the one-day APP. I, WanNa tell you about a new show from Radio Topa and Mermaid Palace. It is called appearances. Appearances is an audio mind trip by Sharon in my she about an Iranian American woman the family she carries around her head and the family that she wants to have Sharon's radio always blows me away from really glad that she has a full series here with appearances. It's kind of straddle of fiction and reality. It's sort of psychedelics series very emotional, very intimate. This is the kind of radio that Radio Topa his around to make. You can only find here. So you know what I'm just going to play you a clip that will give you a better sense of how special this series really is. God. Is appearances. Jeremy Live has a journey. Is Your. And everybody's journey is different. Are you please call your wife. was. Like at what point does your life get to be yours? I don't know maybe never episodes drop starting, Tuesday September. twenty-ninth. To appearances now, Radio Tokyo Mermaid Palace. The mind. Of. Sharon machine. Check it out at Mermaid Palace dot org slash appearances. Radio.

Teddy Roosevelt president Alex Schmidt Milwaukee Silvio Berlusconi Woodrow Wilson Dunga Bunga Nikki Republican Party Bunga Bunga Taft Israel Whitney Cummings Apple WanNa Bunga Bunga FDR NPR Progressive Party Nicole Hammer
How VERY ONLINE People Revolutionized The English Language

The Cracked Podcast

1:10:48 hr | 1 year ago

How VERY ONLINE People Revolutionized The English Language

"Holy cow i am so excited you're listening to this podcast isn't that great i would also be very excited if you had your own personal website right wouldn't that be neat it'd be an online person you would be very online capital capital oh and that's a little preview episode to isn't that great anyway you should build a website with squarespace they make it easier than any other possible way they give you an amazing looking website right out of the gate they customize any way you want and i can't recommend it enough so head to squarespace space dot com slash crack spray free trial and when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain live show announcement this is a live show announcement and i'm gonna keep it brief 'cause the the reason that's exciting obvious yes i think we're doing at one night only live episode of the crack podcast on sunday september eighth in london and also i believe in british for net killer but they would be eight september right that's what what you folks say either way london london london united kingdom we are coming to the london podcast festival i love doing those roadshows in chicago in saint paul this spring we decided defined the next great opportunity to do that as soon as we could somewhere else we also decided at the gopher a place where we got a lot of requests to my twitter account and and elsewhere and this is the perfect fit for both things you folks in the uk out there you worry large and vocal audience in a good way and i cannot wait for that to be i live in person audience links with all the information for being part of veteran me food new ansi asu in the uk hey there folks welcome to another episode of the crack podcast podcast all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is my name is alex schmidt and i'm headed podcasting here at cracked i'm also known as many of the clam also known as many about champion i am also also glad we all lives in the few church what is the future you say well it's a word i picked up from konya west end here is him saying it what is it like when you guys get together and do you talk about things is kind of obvious ohio is what the future will feel like or is it kind of more casual and that's exactly we talk about what this continuous at eight lawn musk talk about the future that's right tinier talks about the future or as most people have called it for free most the english language is process the future and please don't think i'm making fun of the way konya is speaking there be evolution of language is exciting it can happen on an individual person the person basis and it's something that is not thought about enough because one of the ways life is more interesting than people think it is is that not only has language evolved over time but in recent times thanks to the internet we have developed an entire new chunk of language both spoken handwritten by that's it's kind of the point the thing about the internet is it has over four billion users to day across the world majority of americans got on the internet by the year two thousand so there's been some time there's enough time to build a critical mass of people using that medium to write things and to communicate with each other and it's created a whole array of amazing things that were gonna talk about today and i'm so excited the do it our topic today is amazing elements of internet language but you probably we never thought about one more time that is be amazing elements of internet language that you've probably never thought about if you thought about them a lot you might be like are amazing guests today she is gretchen mcculloch who is linguist is the host of the podcast link suzy as some and has written one of my favorite books in a long long time the book is called because internet understanding the new rules of language that's right the main title of the book is because internet and a if if you speak internet as i do and many people do you know that because internet is an entire statement it's an entire piece of meaning also anytime i get to talk to eight great author like this i highly recommend getting their book their links to preorder the book which is out july twenty third at any food news there is also eight thread the gretchen dead because she is very online an end wonderful the follow on twitter at other platforms but she has a great threat about what pre orders means for an author it's very very helpful to allow them to continue to be an author an get you the book right away an so many other positive things so please check that out and please get the book in the meantime were digging into all kinds of amazing things in it so please sit back or set in a fashion that lets you be capitals v very capitol oh online as we like to be on the internet and here's this fun episode of the crack podcast with linguists gretchen metallic author of the cubs intranet i'll be back after we wrap up talk to you that i'm tracy intro but thank you for this book it's like it's laying out a lot of things that i've come across and never never been able tocado fi or or have a a specific scheme are framework for before how did you decide on kind of what the scope of it was gonna be 'cause there's a lot there i know you're saying that it's sort of one step toward understanding this and it's not entire thing but but how did you pick out these specific areas it's a massive challenge writing a book a book about the internet v internet book is very static it's designed to be able to sit on the shelf for the next fifty years a hundred years you're not gonna the library of congress and stuff is he opposite of all of those things internet of constantly moving so how do you write a book about something that continues to be a moving target this isn't like oh what's field this language because we'll just i mean that's actually questioned doesn't really they have an answer so he's like how do you measure it we don't know languages only fossils fans especially what feels like it just we just have no idea we're never gonna know you could tell what you'll just riding system is reading systems duly physical record's but languages way way way way older than any sort of writing system and so ultimately it's like like what what's the first song no one has any idea right because no one who's running down when anatomically modern humans show up but like did they have language at the time take another like couples like tens of thousands of years we just wanna so he answer any question like what did english look like a thousand years ago we we do have answers to that question and those don't really change like we we know what it looks like because we have record's of that and you could write a book about that and then in fifty years it'll still be a pretty good booked reid whereas i knew that anybody could i could have right what's gonna turn into historical artifact almost immediately that's what it looks like it when you write a book about the internet so the way i wanna to approach a lot of questions about how the internet works is like i knew i couldn't write a book about like what are all the cool words and means from twenty seventeen twenty eighteen when i was working on the book right up because nobody wants to in twenty nineteen here's a list of all the cool means from twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen so how could i make something that approaches this question of how do we use language on the internet in a way that's not just here's this one snapshot of you know what people are doing like right now because that's out of date before it even goes depressed and how could i ask bigger questions like what makes these internet unique and interesting as a place to analyze language you know yeah and those types of questions ends are gonna deeper and more interesting than you know here's a list of words one of the ways that i tried to avoid just giving a list of cool stuff from twenty eighteen was how come we ask these questions even more historical way so i have a chapter of punctuation at how we use expressive punctuation on the internet and for a lot of these different types of punk should we shouldn't use expressively i go back and predefined what's the origin of each of them so why did we start using all caps indicate show when did that happen and it turns out that's much older the internet that get back to you know the victorians so sometimes by going older it's less obvious that something might become dated it's still true the victorians reason that even fifty years from now and then in other cases when a particular type of punctuation sort of being used so using lower case letters or they're using the elites sarcasm dislike patience for that start showing up around twenty twelve so right it's a lot more recent among many amazing things in the book is amazing how much the way we talk on the internet which i think a lot of people might assume is disposable or completely novel or or something that doesn't have a lot of weight to it a lot of that comes from several years go but also more of it comes from almost history or even even like you say the victorians further back it seems like a lot of kind of stitching together entire experience of human language to cover our internet writing that's great and in many ways internet is either rubric through which you could look at what's the history of of writing on what's the history of people trying to express themselves emotionally in writing which is such an interesting question because you know as far back as we know we've been expressing our selves emotionally in speech and yet the earliest writing that hurts you got things like you know here's how many bushels of grain or cows or something or like traded from this person to this person it it's very bureaucratic in many cases he earliest writing and space for emotions to be written down if something that we've been developing for the past several thousand years oh good for us what a project great there's one kinda kinda very big idea right to the top of the book well actually there's parts to it but it's one that be writing on the internet is somewhat like speech in a way that that may be other writing hasn't been i'd i'd find that totally fascinating do you wanna kind of expand on that historically we've had multiple genres of speech you know going as far back as as we were aware of how you're informal speech you're conversations you're back and forth everyday how you talk to your friends your family your dog and then you have you're for little speech which is giving public speech is reciting poetry telling stories a end in the modern era things like actors in radio and television and all these genres newscaster doesn't go home and talk to their dog the same way they're talking on the news right hand and then somebody oldest shawna's reynoso somebody early things that were written down ethic homes likely early adamy odyssey and bail wolf and stuff like that were originally spoken part of oral tradition they were memorized highest end they were delivered to audiences and then eventually someone written down when writing started reaching those particular areas but in a lot of cases they existed as these very elaborate spoken formal genre so we know the former owners are really old again we don't know how because language recently fossils and so speech is always had this dichotomy between formal and informal and we often linguists even often think of me justice informal thing because most of the b two b do informal what's interesting is that writing has had has been existing primarily in the form of honor for so long ties especially after the printing press gets created end it becomes easy to kind of mass produced stuff if you're gonna bother mass producing stuff and you're gonna bother typeset it and like invest that kind of money in it it's gonna be pretty formal end especially just like we consume a lot more formal speech then we produce you know you listen to radio or you listen to podcasts where you watch tv or you know go to plays or concerts are these kinds of things people produce a formal genre we consume a lot more formal writing that we produce and you know a hundred years ago people were really writing that much at all if you were if it wasn't your job if it wasn't your hobby like maybe a few letters but they mentioned the telephone kind of killed the social letter in enlargement so a lot of people there informal writing with like a note on the kitchen table like i said the dog or like here's the book you requested and that was it you know you you had a couple of notes are like yard sale people's amount of informal reading they did with with very limited end now informal writing is this huge genre that has some things in common with informal speech you know it's it's often got more back and forth to age it's not edited it's not previous hearst but it's also got some things in common with writing one of which is it's produced the same way we do with other writing something really obvious there's a lot of early internet research that's like yeah you know internet writing it's like speech except for the really obvious factor but it's produced with letters on a page or a screen rather than sounds coming out of your mouth but there's a huge factor which is like the literal method but but it's produced by is still really writing like a lot of these things that we think of as characteristic of speech like being wrap it in an edited and heading back and forth are really only characteristics of informal speech because if you're getting a public speech you stat hopefully you don't have people doing a back and forth because those are hecklers and they're not supposed to be there and you have this very controlled environment you talking stylized way you know you have this sort of routine you know you start off you're speeches in in ritualistic sorts of ways you don't talk the same way you talk with their dog and they were little speaking on her has been almost is neglected as informal writing genre because we just don't we don't think of it being there and what's really interesting about that is if you take okay informal genres support interruption an overlap and writing support lots and lots of words you end up with chat yeah right in in the internet sense okay chat supports like a you know chat at a chat room attacks message thread any sort of back and forth read you could had interruptions and back and forth and you could also have this really really common phenomena where you actually have to conversations going on overlapping each other in parallel track sure whether that to people that just two people having to conversations in parallel like if i'm like hey what you doing this weekend and you're like oh did you see the movie last night and we both respond to each other's message and then we kind of go back and we interview them and it's fine because we can't skip backup and reid what was previously said which we couldn't do it speech because that's the writing part but also were still having this back and forth and it's you know it's informal and sometimes one they'll get dropped eventually and that's informal part and so chat is this really cool genre that isn't possible in any other quadrants because it's supports this informality end this real time writing that we just didn't have i feel like we should all just go around being thrilled that i think one big take away from that is that within the last few decades the book especially draws on some early early computer chatting or or texting her typing from the seventies and eighties but in the last couple of decades we've found basically a whole new way to to communicate where are are writing is also a lot like speech that's that's very thrilling it's like it's like we're around for landing on the moon or something it's really great exciting to realize that you're living through history you know in a hundred years people are gonna look back and be like what is interesting air i wonder what it would like to be a person in that era and like you're you're not aaron now you have to be like oh it was so cool when the printing press was amended i wonder what that was like in another area like that you're getting excited about that and also i love that idea dia that the quote i got from the book is all writing is technology just that that fundamental concepts that the the way were able to communicate in writing it's always been been driven a lot from the medium we've got and so this this internet medium so exciting doing it yeah writing itself is a technology and it's based on it requires additional physical tools beyond the body which is ultimately what a technology is you know if you're speaking or if you're signing you couldn't do that just with their own body but as soon as you're writing something you have to do that with something external if you look at the shapes of writing systems a historically there also affected by the tools of people were using to write with him at the time like the shapes of letters and characters in those things yeah so it's if you're gonna carve stuff it's easier to make straight lines skanky it's easier to make kirby life i'm not kidding you could try this like oh that's great you know if i could go teret or a potato where something in carson letters into it and you can't make curves of so glennon reputation to studio studio today that really worked out and then get in the sec unfortunately hope you also brought a b inc and the and the brush yeah huge growth as yet yet huge hand if especially if you try right with the quill pen or fountain pen you could tell people sort of writing cursive because it's just going to lift keep lifting the pennant even if you lifted pet if you have like a really liquidate flow we think it will just threads from one letter the next like it'll it's way easier to join you letters and not join you're letters using using quill pen or fountain pen an interesting is the rise the ballpoint with jesus thicker anc is also one of the things that's involved in the shift from this release lowy like old school calligraphy kind of declaration of independence writing to this more kind of like semi joined up like half print half cursive writing let a lot of us do with a ballpoint that's a bullet point thing 'cause i i know people especially in my generation who like learn cursive in grade school and it was very painstaking process and i took a lot of time and then now they're furious the kids are learning it now and that it's being forgotten but it i guess they must just be a technological thing it's a really good the fountain pen era that was when it made sense because well and if you think of children you know in like you know one room schoolhouse this kind of moving from like chalk on a slate where it really makes sense to print stuff to pen and paper then then it really makes sense to do cursive so that's why you have this kind of transition from print to to cursive but you could see this in historical script says well so you know how like ruins dramatic ruins are like really blow like biking letters oh you're super blocking lenny 'cause they roll carved yeah those characters it's all it's all carving sort of odd strange last yeah wow yeah i don't really know what cuneiform looks like is that the marion egyptian sort of thing may marian one yeah so cuneiform was produced by taking we'll do this anymore but you couldn't like if you get some plano you try this at home as well reduced by taking a cut off reads like a like a wreath from the river martians and then you make like a like a flat play tablet and you stamp you're reid directly into the habit like straight up and down and you couldn't step indifferent combinations any look at cuneiform you could go image search for easier than getting some plato see their own made up of just repeated versions of this one weird like dark triangle like long triangle see another thing i picked up from the book is that it's not frame this way in the book but today we have our own very specific labor due to make are are writing a look and see exactly the way we want it to do like you pick out that eight key smash is something that everybody is seen at if i had a stay at verbally it would be like asked if a duck 'cause it's usually that sdf with a keyboard and then some other i just say it i had to say in the audio book how to do it well so i don't know if i could say maybe this is a spoiler because my i had a director on the phones me like giving me stuff andrew we get to the key slash portion i'm just like merrily plowing ahead and then he's like okay wait what like i dunno i dunno what just happened there but that was amazing i think i did not know what you're gonna do and then i tweeted about it after buddy audio to find out how you did it on like i can't tell anybody now because this is like the reason some people are buying guide book oh yeah well keep a secret secret you have found around the people will austin like attempt to do that and a key smashes and expression of excitement or or big energy but people will sometimes attempt to do at fine but it doesn't look key smashing enough even though it's what they did in life and so they will go back and redo type it a mass the instead of us finding the right redo the right triangle where like i didn't slapped my hand against the keyboard properly redo it is like the whole point about keys it's incoherent it's this quote unquote random you know like mashing your hands against the keyboard and yet people they're like yeah i don't know that randomness it doesn't look like everyone else's randomness or you know even when we think were producing randomness were socially attuned to each other and were trying to produce like the quote unquote right kind of randomness so he spf thing is that's a very like physical keyboard laptop desktop he smash yeah lately keys nash has been changing because people are now he's matching from their phones right so when you she's not sure when you're phone you some people i think are still replicating spf from their phone they're just like trying to do that i the first couple of times like he's asher my phone numbers like how could i make this look like a dust up but i've been lately collecting eight new key smashed nobel he smashed corpus if you will of how people are teeth gnashing when it's clearly from a mobile device he's end haven't yet fully analyze the results yet stay tuned but it looks really different because when you're tapping with two thumbs you end up unlike as cast cast k or something like that rather than starting with e s and also the sort of reverse element to is are modern systems austin commonwealth spellcheck or auto correct and it's very interesting to i i just felt very seen by rating that people besides me are having to undo what spell checker auto corrected in order to sound the way i want to sound in my after net text i was like yo i glass not just me great absolutely this is the kind of thing what i love about doing internet linguistics is you know i have this really finely tuned hunter when start doing something or start noticing something that i'm like i bet this one isn't me isn't just me and i could do surveyed approve it everyone out here doing this thinks they're all alone so i did a survey about people a lower casing like means brands companies just show the they're not like a pr rap or a you know they don't take the brand or company to seriously so i have a lot of like copy editors and kind of formal language people is well following me on twitter and some of these more form of people were like whoa i had no idea people were doing this deliberately as a kind of anti authoritarian slash just like you wanna sound to corporate you know it's like saying pepsi co tm every time rather than just so like can you get me coca cola tm is just not how people talk right like i blow my nose can you hand me eight puffs with vicks vapor rub copyrights nobody knows exactly what i need to go to sleep on my casper mattress or on the podcast yeah i mean yeah that's how they know you're in and out you know people talk and i think lower casing brand names even if you're gonna talk about them is one way of saying okay look i'm you know i'm using this brand but i'm not trying to like promote them or i'm not i'm not a corporation i'm i'm still a real person here you have to go the extra effort because my phone now recognizes brand names like you will try to capitalize coca cola or something reminded us it with all these apple products i have an apple always does i phone right or face time right and i'm like oh andrew right i mean it's still capitalizes i'll be apple products like i pass all of this stuff when this and this might get a one very broad thing i think i think the book spells out beautifully which is that the v way we right and talk to each other on the internet that is much more expressive then it is lazy and and this this minimalist topography at eight catalog and as as such a perfect example of it like we're it's so interesting to know that many of us are doing extra manual labor to make the way we type minimalist may maybe we should also check in on exactly what that is people don't know who don't know what is minimalist topography mentally type harvey is this this thing we've been talking about a all along of not using capital's using very little punctuation maybe maybe a few periods maybe some line breaks maybe some commas but not really a lot when it comes to punctuation not a lot of capitalization not a lot of like all of those extra things you couldn't put in to indicate certain things about you're tone of voice so capitals and exclamation marks and sparkles and all of these kinds of things and just kind of being very deadpan about it or dry but within matt minimalism also come with a certain tone of voice is often used for comedic timing you know if you have a couple of line breaks you could really get you're gonna really nailed a comedic timing there or it used to be kind of annoyed but it never label sort of way or have these these kinds of feelings around this but in many cases first of all minimalist i potter theorizes as a particular style in the post smartphone era before that people are typing in lower case but that's just like these easiest difficult thing to do and so other people don't sign a particular tone of voice to it both people who were doing it and the people who are doing well it's just easier right end in the post smartphone era when it no longer becomes easy difficult thing to do and people are choosing to type in a moment minimalist sort choosing to override you know auto capitalization an auto punctuation and these kinds of things then it becomes this margaret tone of voice and then people start saying no i'm doing this deliberately because i wanna indicate this particular thing whether that's a call back to be earlier era of like well this one's easy and lazy at the time and so i still wanna be seen with that sort of aesthetic like buying pre ripped jeans yes we have a history of like deliberately adopting things that are counter culture even when they're very mainstream and they're being sold at the gap or something yeah everything yeah yeah what people are saying no i'm gonna go in and i'm gonna do this because i want this today this particular tone of voice or using some of these old school internet slang terms like g r and the number eight can be used very ironically very sarcastically it's not like anybody's default way of saying great like it might have been in the nineties right gets brought in as like you know kind of ironic choker necklace of internet vocabulary like i'm doing this for like be ironic like you know ugly seventies glasses frames like i'm doing this but only because i want you to know yeah that i have a heavy layer of irony going on here and i felt so seen 'cause i know i have used cyberspace as a word to like like self deprecating lee describe internet thing i'm doing like i i wrote a new piece and here's my new cyberspace thing you know and it's it's there's a very specific tone there i don't actually think cyberspace is what we call it no i i like just a couple of times very sparingly in the book because apparently like you write a book but the internet on the internet stopped taking on any meaning to you could you hear it often yeah yeah yeah and there's a real problem with both were internet an online which is internet begins with an online begins with on answered i wanna say something like in internet speech war on online discourse oh no not really clunky you know a couple of times used cyberspace but i also felt like i had to put a disclaimer in the book of it's like look be only times on using cyberspace are jocular like i know i'm being sarcastic here because you'd never know it was interesting reading books and articles about being jeanette from the nineties and early two thousands of see like because their historical documents out but they worked at the time yeah are they all hilarious hilarious it's really fun to write a book about his culture that just like never mentioned the word meam anywhere i guess this is not always something other day on twitter people for passing around a clip from the today show in a year when email was still new and so it's just talking about what email is and whether people should sign up for it it's it's great it's it's the funniest thing i watched the movie you've got male while i was working on the book just obviously what a movie for people who haven't seen you've got mail i dunno it's like it's a it's a romance but like the characters meet each other in a chat room and they were like a yeah aol staying in they had exchanging exchanging emails and start falling in love the meantime they know each other in person they hate each other and they don't know who each other is because like on the internet people could be anybody in like nobody knows when he but he isn't internet which is also very nineties thing these days like you know i have i have a professional twitter account has my name on it like i have met up with people who i also knew from their professional twitter account and like state at their houses unlike right not weird but at the time like stranger danger nobody is they say they are this person you think is actually twenty could be eighty but anyway there's this moment in you've got mail where one of the characters turns to another character and she says to him are you on line you you could see the space in between those words which first of all it's amazing secondly what she means by this question it's a very very clear from context is like how'd you usually internet ever and he's like i think he's like oh i dialed in ones but like i never really got into it or something like that this is not a question you could ask people now are you online no spaces means like are you physically in front of a computer right now but even that is kind of in the early two thousands question it's not a question of this year because now we all have our phones and like if you're not sleep like you're probably have access to a device or you you deliberately unplugged and you've gone and attack retreat and you've taken a hiatus yeah sabbatical a radical so you're just like not a kind of question you ask and this like yeah i don't know the internet maybe it's just not for me is also just wasn't amazing response right who said that right right and when you're grandparents but like oh what a great person on me many thanks to our friends at squarespace from making this episode of the podcast possible because they are very online with a capital v in the capital low ats that's how it hooked into these episodes don't you get it you probably do great well i'm very online capital capital oh and i think squarespace is a great way to get you on their with their own personal site express who you are share your product so you're writing her you're photography or or dancing dancing maybe embedded video they have a way to do that they also have beautiful templates created by world class designers be ability to customize just about anything in there with a few clicks they haven't ecommerce functionality per year sales they have analytics freer hits on the site in general also everything's optimized for mobile right out of the box and if anything's not feeling optimal about you're site they have twenty four seven award winning customer support to help you get there so head to squarespace dot com slash crack free free trial and when you're ready to launch us the offer code cracked save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com slash cracked offer code cracked one thing to repeat from the top of the show it's it's a big surprise out of nowhere for you the crack podcast is headed to london podcast festival i will be there live with amazing guests on sunday september eighth at king's place in london england united kingdom information on that is linked to me for notes an i will see you folks rights bloody soon that's the thing you say right i hope so one of my favorite things that you've that you've you've gotta fight answer broken structure for is generations of internet people and there are a couple of them and and it's it's a way we can kind of sort all of ourselves in terms of when we got on the internet what we used it for an end maybe most of all how we view it as eight thing in are less yeah it's so interesting i've gotten sony early readers messaging me about that chapter saying oh my god i feel so seen yeah like i do have a complicated folder filing system for my email or do something like this so that's a question for you what what's your first internet social experience i i think i strongly go into the category will explain of of full internet people but i but i think i was a little bit worthy of it maybe 'cause i remember using aol instant messenger and that was how we talk to each other on the internet for the first time but also being an seat to be able to use facebook and then once they opened it up to you don't need a college email address it was like oh finally we could do this next thing now i distinctly remember like us talking the girls on aim and people have having a wait a minute and he's like he's really grow new and you're class yeah so yeah i was always a an extension of a be actual physical class world's an and also i feel very seen by be acknowledgement that rules and laws against kids being out at night drove us online more like yes of course it's exactly but i know people just want it to hang out with like the place where you could hang out yeah like the closest so now we need to do this like that's it and like if we if we could have hung out you know in the like back of the like sports fielder something really going to sports games he wasn't about like watching the game it was a bit like hanging out with your friends yeah exactly mining seemingly yes yeah exactly exactly you're like going to you know whatever like verizon is about like that hanging out in the hallways hanging out in parks hanging out in malls hanging out in like you know the kind of unstructured settings internet kind of transports so that into okay well here's another place you could hang out that is a little bit harder if you're parents maybe know about you're like i'm doing my homework mom i we were told about you know stranger danger like don't tell anybody who you are online but i was also like look the people who online at me are people like class like i know who they are it's really interesting to me to see because a lot of speed internet discourse especially in these early era with dominated by the kinds of people who went online to talk to strangers rather than to talk to people they already knew until they're slowly revealed earlier generation people who were going on like chat rooms and discussion forums and newsgroups in these kinds of places they had handles to for their names they didn't use their real name fighter you know they they capture them very consistent firm one platform together and they're like when you talk to people in that group they're like why or why are you changing you're name all the time it's like well to people already know my offline identity i just changed this thing because i wanna show he's a different aspect of it and maybe that's a good way to look at that kind of first group because it's it's in the bucket breaks out in the three waves and the first wave as old internet people who is is the name of it they were on relatively early and they used a lot of things like lee usenet forum it was really interesting because i had multiple people reading early versions of the book end some of them would flag things like snapchat and be like you gotta explain snapchat like people don't really know what snapchat is an but one of my early readers flight usenet and was like you to explain what you said is 'cause i have no idea what it is and i was like you're a grown up person with a job like how do you not know what using that is like i would on i was aware that it existed as a team using it with the users network it was like a proto read it you know in my friend jeff pirated stuff and met people yeah yeah yeah yeah it was this you know here's this this era of like you go online to meet people and you're gonna keep keep the same handled 'cause you're gonna get this handle injured early adopters you can actually registered everywhere and you couldn't you couldn't you couldn't be this kind of performance of identity in that sort of way but in a way that kind of rejects de offline world because you're kind of find new friends and then this i think younger wave like this next kind of wave of mainstream ization you have you're younger users that are just only internet connected their existing friends 'cause they don't have spaces to do that in real life and you have you're older users that are coming on at the same time but they already have booed off line social network so they don't really get on the internet as a social place and i think that's many of the kind of parent generation like oh yeah we have some funny email forwards but we also already had a social life and we don't need to we need to create what on the internet because we have more time in her life people do that so amazing that that there's this first wave of a basically for people who are all connecting in that very tech savvy kind of very on top of the way and then in the late nineties early two thousands we have lots of people joining for these two different reasons at the either my friends and real life i can't hang out with them so i'm gonna use it or i'm gonna dealt with a job and and i needed female and maybe some news and traveling stuff yeah yeah i need it for work i'm i'm gonna do this kind of stuff and i've been established this but they also have cultural practices like they have a very complicated well laid out folder system email and this is the group that has like a reliever folders with some really good folders listen to what like this group of their own at work and the damn they're gonna work maybe that leads to them this this kinda third wave that's most recent where there's the names in the book are pre internet people who had been alive this whole time but just kind of avoid it'd be internet until it became super ubiquitous in the twenty tens and so now they use at a bit and then there's post internet people who are often teenagers but they basically came into an internet but already had all of these social platforms and youtuber everything that were used to lose just fully flashed put together yeah exactly and so you have this this group it's a really defined by its relationship with email and then this later wave is really defined by its lack of relationship with email cause for a solid decade or more every one of his own he was on the internet was using email and in fact many people were using email and not the rest of the internet wow so you had you're like you know microsoft outlook type app and that would be only internet connected app you used you didn't use a browser like not everyone used a browser like netscape or safari or you know internet explorer any chrome firefox doesn't exist at that point but you know like not everyone was actually going to website's some people were just doing the connection to get email and that's it you and i probably kind of remember this era but they've this younger group really does not remember this era and it's like yeah an email is i think he used a sign up for social networks west right email address because you need it to sign up to facebook or instagram or whatever but the email is like the thing used sign up for things end maybe email is something you use to communicate with like you're university professors or tech support or these kinds of like official more official channels where you sign up for the newsletter with it you don't necessarily have like friendships and relationships and personal emails just like she send messages the people the catch up with that something that people did something and i remember doing when i was a teenager like some you know sometimes in summer vacation when i wasn't see my friend is much we were just exchange long emails with each other oh yeah like and funny chains with a group of friends and everything and all the time yeah maybe this is the thing everyone says before the future happens and surprises but if feels like maybe there isn't way for more waves to come right especially these this last one it's the young people who have everything that's there any old people who have finally come around and they just that kind of complete internet generations have we done it well i think there are a few things about internet generations that are hard to replicate unless you get another new technology right maybe they'll be they are generations who knows if they are actually manages the catch on which you know like maybe they'll be people who like a holdover to never going to virtual reality maybe the people who were like oh i've grown up with that it's totally normal firm you're something like that right sharma so the internet generations have kind of run their course but that doesn't mean you can't have another technologically influence generation you and i grew up in a post telephone and post television generation like everyone just had a telephone and television you were like are you gonna get at telephone like are you own the telephone exchange exchange right like i'm i'm not kidding i watching a tv series which set in the nineteen fifties and sixties and one of the characters ask another character like are you on the telephone in the same way you might ask somebody are you on facebook or instagram or you want snapchat are you online and one of the characters like are you on the telephone and she's like oh yeah no we don't have the twelve and it's like oh it's okay weaken right and they're just like their new friends they're keep in touch in the same city like which which social network you're gonna use like oh are you on you know are you on snapchat now well it's okay we could base book and i suppose there's also that process of like a lot of us losing land lines or it's not communication about a of us getting rid of cable tv you know like i guess there's also generations of this stuff on away the telephone starting up did kind of cannibalize the like pete social letter writing and there's there's a lot of controversy around the telephone end the television and radio starting up is is that like are people gonna become less literate because you don't need to be literature understand the radio you don't need to be literature call from one of the telephone you know here's like no one's leading anymore like the moral panic at the day right reid anymore because they can listen to the radio because they go people on the phone mark twain has this amazing like diatribe against the telephone he was also very early telephone adopter oh he's just find incredibly weird and disturbing here only half of the conversation he's like this is messed up oh but like you're not you when you bring your own right when you're on the phone wow exactly when you're hearing someone else on the phone and you only hear half of their conversation he's like this is so weird i don't like a little did he know bob newhart would make that the funniest thing in the world but like i cannot complain again when people start like answering cell phones in public like now you have to over here half of someone's conversation the bus or whatever and in terms of these panics maybe maybe it's a good time to look at moji as well it's just a broader idea of whether anybody should be panicking about about internet language and speech but i had never understood emo moto g a the way you break it out until i i read this book mainly moji are not quite the same as a written or spoken language they're they're in a additional component waited i like understanding of bocce is through gesture after because we think back about this like written versus spoken thing one of the things that comes with speech is you have gestures and you have other types of visual you know facial expressions other types of things you bring to what you're saying end in writing you don't really have a gesture is what you do have these drawings in a technical sense those drawings can be like here's a graph you're the chart here's a diagram but in a formal sense those drawings can be okay here's sometimes the literal representation of a factory consent someone a thumbs up or the middle finger or any of these you know rolling guys and moji like the the thinking face hand which i love the face with the kind of el shaped handle much in yeah yeah all right very critical yeah it's so good because it does so much on hand gestures we don't think you make them all the time you maybe gesturing right now i'm gesturing you can't see me i am too wild wild plants it's actually really hard to talk with gesturing you know people gesture on the phone people have been blind since birth gesture even when they're talking to other people who they know are only wind wow you know so there's something about gesture that's really good for coming up with ideas and like getting the you know like helping you think if you encourage people to adjust her well solving like math problems will do better if you type people down for science to tell story so you're saying yeah were actually taking like electric physiological measurements whom you're skins we have a tie you down to like you know be able taking measurements while you're telling a story but actually you're just preventing them from just drink and say like pleasing rate back what happened in this like tom and jerry cartoon and so the big cat runs up you know all of this stuff happens but you can't say like runs up and runs down and people really want a gesture and they actually produced more homes and all those and pauses and stuff like this when you prevent him from gesturing then if you let them gesture that's amazing there the whole field of gender studies which i learned about as i was reading this book which i was kind of like how they've been doing linguistics for so long and not learned about gender studies but better late than never i think it's really interesting it's also it's delightful that you have a great podcast called link busy as an end you're co host lauren gone austin studies gesture is they understand it and so you were trying to figure this out and then she just crack that she said oh a lot of these are like emblem gestures and then there were these other gestures and there you go yeah exactly so my callers on the podcast you know and she goes just kind of generally being supportive when i was reading this book is she's also a good friend and she's like yeah here's here's a here's a gesture thing you might not have occurred to me an excuse me amazing please tell me more she's like well do you want my entire syllabus from my gesture cool we've actually done ailing through the episode all about gesture we did the very first video episode sewed of are podcast so they will concede the gestures after this i was like gestures amazing why are we talking about on the podcast and she's like we have a podcast turns out there's this big distinction in the gesture literature between me mobile gestures and gestures don't have conventional names if you were asked and make a list of of gestures you're gonna lift the ones that have names in english so you're winking under thumbs up and rolling eyes and middle finger and all of these kinds of gestures that you couldn't make they have conventional leans in english and if you're a speaker of english you know what a thumbs up means even when it's a word it's gonna be an entry in english dictionaries and so on because it's a word for us being the english speakers produce yeah but there's also a whole set of other gesture so if i was if i ask you to describe like how you got here today it'd be like well i left my house and when i went down the street and then i went up here and then i got on those you know subway or whatever and you you're gonna gesture to describe that but the gestures you used are not gonna have conventional names pretty much like you're i dunno probably gonna use they use some sort of open hand shape maybe like a pointing finger maybe two fingers is pointing like you could do maybe some sort of like approximate grip staying like they just don't have conventional means in the same way that like a thumbs up is a thumbs up and you know what a thumbs up local looks like i actually i i have one specific to get into the studio because at one point i was taking all loss angeles surface streets wrap the get here and so like i somebody would ask me how how's the drive in and i would i would describe it but i would do a crazy winding saying my hand you know it was terrible i would be in new york social media took the subway but if you're in outlay yeah the traffic was bad minutes wind beeping yeah there's all these pantomime don't make any sense verbally yeah it's it's different from the technical category of pantomime mind because technically speaking on the literature pantomime doesn't come with words oh i so that's here like charades game or like you're in a crowded bar and you want adjuster like you need get let's get out of here that's gonna be that's gonna be pantomime where is this is what the literature coast coast beach gesture which kinda yet does what it says on the tin it's the kind of come along for the ride when you're when you're making words and they often go in the rhythm of the words you're saying if if you stunner you're just you're stutters if you if you pause you're just you're pauses width you end feasible and don't have distinct names and they have less constraints about for the not is there not a strict and how you produce so if you wanna like you said okay i did a week old kind of legal gestured like go through pushed and turney traffic i wanna make a we go gestures well but i had been doing it with just one index finger pointing you might have done it with the whole hand or vice versa and that's like it doesn't really matter right it's the same communicates the same kind of thing yeah sure but with the other types of jesper have names they release richard for how you produce them so for example if you wanna flip someone off make the middle finger gesture you can't turn middle finger so it's basically other direction and be like yeah i'm still flipping you off like what the hell do we are backwards like that's how you do what you look like a fool right instead being mad bear like do you need help you don't see them which you don't understand this very basic thing about industries and yet like if i do like a you know pointing my index finger and i'm like yeah here's the like we'll just wait till you know here's a traffic was i could do that with the you know i think you're facing a bunch of different directions by hand facing a bunch of different directions and you're like yeah that's fine i don't care haven fine or another one that's really good it's you know like the peace sign right sure yeah you know two fingers planning a piece so normally in north america we do this with the palm phasing out towards the person you're talking to yeah but you could do it like backwards in american it's still a piece on whatever but in the uk and australia like much of the rest of the commonwealth did a really big semantic difference between the peace sign if you're pumping out which still means peace and the peace sign facing backwards with your palm facing towards you all right that's like equivalent to the middle finger gesture that's like f off up your 's i actually i remember seeing a very young american who want it to be a soccer fan and so confused about all the peace signs in the stands when i got to see english i was railing against but they were just being like oh berle's you know they were doing their thing all day and with those gestures and with how they relate to a moji i it's just it's so exciting to me that there's such a rich array array of things emo gr and also they're not that thing that people panic about or people make making fun of youth jokes about where they're like oh instead of using words and sentences using moji like a bunch of little john but but actually they're not words they are gestures and we have these emblem gestures these coast beach gestures all these different ways they indicate untaxed it's amazing yeah and like this this rebus u of m o g which is kind of a as like an older person thing i don't know if you've ever did revisit as a kid but they were like you have to figure out at says like to be or not to be but it has like a bumble bee and then like horror the paddle west and knotted rope and you gotta figure out like oh that must mean to be or not to be it's like it's a puzzle like it's in the crossword section gatherings about yeah yeah so rebus is i think as far as i can tell like it people who cmo's yet assume they're being used his mrs or just like they're just kind of projection like i've seen some little images beside text before must be other people using the limit just for you wanna do is that's fine but i'm also pro data right so like that's not what the data says that's how people are using a move genius that without people won't be using koji it'll be very interesting but it's not what the data says unlike the types of people you find using grievances so share using some sometimes like sometimes she will write like furby governor i really think of share as a representative of what youth are gonna be doing another twenty years or or if anyone's doing it all so specific did you like well she is doing it that must mean it's cool with you i just hoping that tonight red state like i'm even share only does that sometimes a lot of time she's doing what's the more typical and moved you use which is this you know adding oh no layer of illustration or an extra layer of meaning to what you're saying like she has happy faces and you know hearts and rainbows and stuff like this to be like yeah this is the kind of person that i am this is this is what i mean when i'm saying that's one of the many reasons i'm excited talk to you as as you've been on the forefront of a multi and you've been been studying them and speaking on them since twenty fourteen i think it is an you there's a story in the where you were gonna do a presentation about a mile g u n and collaborators thought wouldn't it be interesting if we spoke some of it in moji instead of of taxed or or words and then just found it was impossible 'cause that's not this'll be on people's idea but like i knew it would be impossible oh i should diplomatic in the book but like it's a podcast they're not gonna listen to this podcast even like you know we could do it on those like okay how would that work exactly and they were like wait were knocking to song which is why got that's right you're like how would we do that and they're like quizzical face critical critical critical stretch and i'm not saying you couldn't do any talk of some sort entirely but don't just be a very different talk art project that would be like doing you're talking interpretive dance like you can i'm sure someone has really as informative is just fucking talking sorry to swear on the fuck oh yeah go for it yeah okay all right one moji to bat and that's the thing is you're good at it kind of like emotional reaction things of like yes this is a good idea this is a bad idea they really bad at conveying what linguist call like prop additional content their statements that could be true or false okay if you wanna say something like you know the challenger you should people and even actually i was trying to say in moody are language me but emoji yeah well first of all what is the mood g for emoji as such a rabbit hole out like that very galaxy brain right like yeah i'll try to screen shot of the keyboard or something i don't know what to do yeah that's a screen shot and then you actually moji achey like it's true let me just say something like well how do you know that doesn't mean smiley face like how do you how do you create that could have generalization like a language languages have names were themselves you know even if you're a language spoken like a remote island that like you've never been in contact any other language you don't realize any other language exists you have names like talking or speaking or like the way we talk and if you encounter and other people you'll you'll make that the name of your language like oh four languages like the right way of talking about like mode you don't even have a name for themselves end if you wanna say like but word language moji some people used like eighty cmg my opinion that's fucking cheating right you can't using a movie that has alphabet on it to be like oh yeah we don't need be alphabet though yeah but it's so sweet i'm gonna heavy alphabet on it and again something like is you end up using like an equal signer like arrows like i really like like in the really canonical in buji sach or now doing math i think they're even symbol type things format fetter sort of a motor you right like it's there's they're not symbols that had been there in moody style font right that's not really what people think of when they're like oh we're gonna be communicating analogy everyone gonna be talking about fifty years like that's everyone's gonna be talking in math and fifty years we just a natural long time and somehow like everyone talking in math is just not happened yeah even the word used words yeah right facility were sentenced like surely if if he can do anything you can do this so i got people on twitter to just send me their suggestions to this 'cause you know you issue a challenger say this can't be done of course everyone wants to preview on an i got a bunch of their examples and then a year later when everybody but he had forgotten about this thing i took me to a talk and i put them up on the slide and i said to the audience you know hunter people or whatever like hey anybody tell me what these what these mean and people submit it suggested all sorts of things none of them suggested he moved here language and eventually when i provided enough contacts and people were like oh well maybe this is what they're what they're trying to assert beatles additional bunch of things whereas if you're gonna translate like ammo gr language into like french or japanese or as our like literally any language you could just translate it and then people who understand that language know what you've said and you don't have this a guessing game it's not like playing charades will translate into it a robotic and apple google trends like even if the kind of badly it's still is gonna do better than a human does yeah but if you're really quote unquote fluent in moji it's still gonna do a better job like the robots gonna do a better job if it could deal with an actual language in terms of looking at the future a i think it's good news for people like me who like moji that you pick out of it it's a prediction but it's that v gesture all indicative function of a mode g is going the last like we might move on from this particular technology where there's a unit coating coated picture that goes with a set numbers and on us tax a but will probably keep that ability now that we have and that's so cool yeah exactly and it's you know because before we had emotive cons which you know word has extensive and you couldn't do many things with this and there isn't a thinking facing motor con so emoji super useful because you could literally just do more faces when you actually have like multiple colors and like graphics beyond just like what you couldn't randomly make punctuation character's combining to get that's always been a fairly limited pallet in order cons are cool but like there are only so many things you could make them even if one of those things like abraham lincoln from my from my teenage years i believe it's regular faces abraham lincoln very large penis those were the things you could make that's that's it's at rose you gotta remember the rose at like this sort of like how water emoji emotive cons contributing to are emotional expression what are they letting us do is i think a really interesting question because like yeah sometimes they both play the game where you know try to describe a movie in in oji or you try to draw abraham lincoln motor gone but that's more like playing charades like it's fun it's like do you might play charade sometimes don't talk like you're doing charades all the time i feel like we've pretty explicitly expressly idea that internet languages is positive and valid in an exciting thing what kind of listener do next time someone comes along and tries to be a a language cop and says like on that doesn't count that's not really a thing what are some things like unexpressed of them to get on with her day i mean lately what i do is i just quote tweet people who were marching on internet language on twitter and i'm like i've literally written a book about while you're wrong hey daily mail i've literally written a book about why taxing is not destroying children language like here you the whole book like authorities you wanna here's an off line is these days a lot of times when somebody makes a tweet like that i have like somebody else who i don't even necessarily know like tagging me on the replies being like gretchen gretchen has written a book about that you should you should check it out a explains why you're wrong it's very interesting to me because i knew that some people reading the book could be people like you were like this is me this explains everything i've been doing like yeah oh my god i can't believe it is actually where it's where this end some people reading this would be people who were like remember the kids these days and they want they think they want a book like validates their suspicions or validates their feelings of like something's wrong in the world but to my mind it's just it's so much better it's so much more fun to exist in a world where you could be curious about how people use language and excited about how people use language and like you don't have to be angry there's no you know they're plenty of things to be angry about in the world and language change is not one of them nothing bad's gonna happen if you just let that go you've been lit a happier life and like the rules will be fine if language keeps changing like it's not like being mad that there's like injustice or like people are being treated badly like those are real things about keeping hungry both those like people which is just one of those things he says disliking a particular language is more about you're negative feelings associated with the people that use that language like i don't like young people and so i'm gonna projector all these bad things about like the language that young people used than it is about actually something bad happening 'cause like of course language has changed like languages who's gonna change the question that interests me is which of those changes are attributable to the internet right now and which of those changes were just gonna happen regardless because we don't talk like shakespeare did we don't talk like they wrote in bailable everything about language just just continues gradually changing from generation to generation are there any particular places we should be looking are watching out for that are kind of driving that be absolute newest stuff the the book is is subtly through a kind of a history of where it's coming from but a but where where's the latest newest stuff up popping up when you think it's really interesting is how are input tools change what language could be so we talked about keyboards a lot but obviously were doing stuff that's language and put the be on keyboards now so yeah i know one thing that's keeping an eye on is you know we all have cameras and are pockets pockets now obviously and you could take it take a picture you could annotate that picture you couldn't put like a take video you could make stuff move along the video you know make things follow like sip it's a tax follow you know moving items in the in the video you can annotate pickler things on a on a picture on a video in a way that's gotten a lot easier in the past few years so what happens when you're creating genres better kind of more mixed west between writing and end visuals in the sense of pictures because 'cause you know talk about the most talked about gift but user generated pictures you know i wish i hope someone's doing an analysis of the stories on her right now whether that was snapchat stories or instagram stories like what what types of features of people using that stronger what's what's going on there it's hard to analyze 'cause they disappear after twenty four hours a lot of like i hope someone's writing in these about this right now that's all amazing category i also want us glenda yeah i mean i hope someone analyzing like how people use something that's been i've been watching right now is how people use like paper signs in tick tock oh well he's be these papers signs and tic tac all the time and it's just like very offline online thing where people put up a like take a piece of paper and they'll right like i see a lot of like high school students doing this presumably like history class means it'd be like you know i'm churchill and this isn't and this is me in world war two and two little right like churchill on a piece of paper and be like this is me and i'm pretending to be churchill this couple of seconds of a snippet of a song and somebody else would be like oh i'm this person and then they'll they'll cut to themselves with a sign saying like oh i'm this person instead like here's this like i'm churchill i'm churchill's adviser telling him like don't do the don't make the beaver victory signed backwards know what i wanna do it and you're like i watched them kind of back and forth between that so yeah i hope someone i hope someone's analyzing stories i hope someone dental isn't tick talk right now it will be interesting to see what comes out next year exactly episode for this week my thanks to gretchen my color for helping me feel seen i grew up with internet i continue to grow whippy internet and somebody out there gets it i hope you got the feel that way to or i hope you got to feel like you discovered a whole new world or in many cases both things you know i don't know if everybody knows about using that andrew tick tock those are two corners of the internet but don't always overlap and here they are joining joining together in one big just like pageants of language and in our food notes you will of course fine gretchen book one more time that title is because internet understanding the new rules of language that july twenty third preorder now you'll also find her podcast blink suzy awesome including a couple of episodes that we mentioned she and her co host lauren gone are great and just get into all kinds of different components of how language has worked now ants throughout history and all over the world it's great you will also find a little bit of historical context about these these various things that we talked about we brought up the cuneiform the sumerians used i don't even know if i pronounced that right taught by tax oh well plowing ahead as well as many other people and key figures in the development of english language an all languages there's just a lot of history in terms of how we speak that is straight up history as well as linguistics beyond that and be on be wonderful time my head but this are theme music as chicago falcon by the buddhist band this episode decided was engineered by jordan duffy and edited by chris sousa if you love this episode that's great end please do leave us aid positive review on apple podcasts or stitcher or wherever you listen to the shows that helps people find that one of these very internet very online things is that algorithms matter a whole lot so if you if you feel the impulse to to help us out and share the show with people you can reach out the specific people you know or you could leave a positive review and it just bubbles up the entire world right in that magical yes used the robots year advantage so that's what you do if you love the show if you hated this show on the flipside let me know about it on social media that's right social media a space where gretchen is such a great follow as specially on twitter she is at gretchen hey mcc which i believe is her middle initial and the start of her last name and there's just all kinds of things you can pick out about linguistics there were gonna do a footnote to eighty threads she did which is about these specific ways the english language affects programming languages like the languages that that software has been written and how certain other language groups at function differently such as finish or turkish or i believe swahili was in there those would mean a completely different situation in terms of what your life would be like as a programmer or a person creating passwords or or just all kinds of other things there's so much depth to this stuff and i feel like i am i am on a roller coaster of picking it up it is so fun my own twitter account where i'm on that roller coaster poster is at alex muddy my instagram as at alex schmidt stick ram and i'm on the wider internet at my website alex ready dot com that's got my show dates my email newsletter of free internet stuff tips in so much more and i'm here to say we will be back next week with more cracked podcast yes so how about that talk to you about the man oh this is been annual production executive produced by scott aquaman chris bannon and colin anderson for more information and content visit ear wolf dot com hi this is nicole eggert convicted heather end campbell and we love video games we love him so much though why we decided the punisher those were the worst in weirdest games ever made to answer this fundamental question how each week will sit down with the funniest principally some of the worst video games imaginable were talking the worst of the worst superman's sixty born son goes six for example if you ever experienced a painter playing terrible video game ever played video games so strange you thought what even is this is the podcast you've been waiting for them you'll hear us talk about blaming better we're games so you don't have to we always wanted to play video games for a living but in

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15 Emmy Awards We Wish Existed

The Cracked Podcast

57:15 min | 2 years ago

15 Emmy Awards We Wish Existed

"Support for today's show comes from Heineken because with all the stresses of life, it can be easy to lose perspective on what really matters. But Heineken believes that life is about being with friends and opening yourself to new experiences because when you live spontaneously and embrace the unexpected, it's a chance to create new stories and connections. You just have to be open to it. So enjoy a refreshingly cold full-bodied Heineken lager today with its deep golden color light, fruity aroma, mild bitter, taste, and a crisp clean finish. Cheers. He there folks welcome to another episode of the cracks, Claude cast the podcasts all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt, and I'm head of podcasting here at cracked. I'm also known as Schmidt e the clam and I'm also also on jeopardy. Two nights, yes. If you're listening to this podcast the day, it drops Monday October, eighth of two thousand eighteen than I am a contestant on the TV game show jeopardy with Alex trebek's. On this day. I said last week it does not feel real or like it's actually happening, but I'm told it's happening and that'll that'll be a thing. And it's the main thing on my mind as I'm speaking to you, I'll say more about it on my social media kind of as it's happening. That's at Alex Schmidt? -i on Twitter and at Alex Schmidt? STA Graham on Instagram, Sorbo fund joke. It's my name. Alex Schmidt. Followed by stugotz s. c. h. g. r. a. m you can find more come live on it there. But since my brain. Very wrapped up in that right now. This week, we're throwing you to a less distracted version of me having an absolute blast with our live episode from last month. The topic is EMMY awards that we wish existed. That's right. Emmys the TV award. And by we I mean myself and also our audience because on live episodes audience members get to join in on the fun. That is, it's one of my favorite things about them. A lot of great ideas from folks who came out to see us at sunset and you'll get to hear them today. And then that we is not just me and the audience folks. It's a crazy panel and by crazy I mean, good. We have Demi audio way by Haley Manzini and Dana Gould. All comedians al-tv writers. All great. And you may know those names already if you're a fan of comedy, but if you don't know them, like, here's the thing, the episode we're doing as about television, it's about how television has made. It's about what we want the making of television to be. And my three guests like between them, I did some hasty calculations on the way. Today and Demi audio, EBay, Haley. Manzini on Dana Gould between them have been fulltime writers for about ten different TV shows if you add it all up and and I mean big shows like the good place, parks and rec power puff, girls stand against evil. The late late show the Simpsons just to name a few. And by a few, I mean a whole lot. So his boggles and very exciting that all three of them came together for this show for me and for you. And I think we have a lot of fun. So it's time you heard it, please sit back or set someplace. You can make plans to see me on jeopardy tonight or or it might be the afternoon because I grew up watching it and Chicago land on ABC seven at three thirty pm. That was right after school each day with sit down, watch that then do stuff, and they still air it then coordinate what Google so that thrills me, it feels right anyway. Enjoy this episode of the cracked podcast with Demi audio, EBay, Haley, Manzini and Dana Gould. I'll be back after we wrap up John. Before we end the like all these categories we have like, what? What should awards before the Emmys are are good for home protection. I have some from being on this absence. Not not. For an episode I wrote. I have a couple of just from being in a room with some other people and go take it trophy, have a trophy. These are really dangerous because of the wings of the, I guess. I guess it's a TV angel. I don't know how this is. Yeah, but the wings are incredibly sharp and you can. You can really put an eye out with them, which radically would make it harder to watch TV. They made them sharp because people started coming for Sheldon on the big bang theory and protection. Every time he gets an EMMY, it's another. Yeah. It gets does get silly like people get in the habit of, you know, like I know that modern family, I think they just it's like, you just give it an EMMY. Yeah, it's like you're, they're still, I'll give them a God damn EMMY for Christ's sake. So there's still on. To answer the question, the Emmys four, persevering just doing to do the show will really there for selling cool whip. I mean, really, the Emmys are to have a show that's broadcast and they show a lot of clips of other television shows and people watch it and they sell advertising. That's why we have that means that's why we have the Adamy awards and and Miss America and the Westminster dog show. It's all at the same thing. No, that's about integrity. Tugs or so tell. Yeah. That's about. That's about people taking a lot of time to pick the right to dogs to fuck. And then eventually they're baby, gets a trophy. Yeah, because I will end the Emmys Stu, it's a weird one where I feel like they could just go sort of turtles all the way down with it. Like it's a TV award show on TV can almost get to the point where you just have EMMY awards for the best part of this telecast we're watching right now, you know, and someone gets nominated for the it started getting in on itself can win EMMY for best like because if you, you can write for the Oscars and win an EMMY. You could win them. You can write for award shows and just win another award. It's the same. If you choreograph. Like if there's a choreographer that Cory cross the dance that goes in the as you can win choreography for the Emmys. Yeah, Hugh Jackman opening monologue at the Oscars. In two thousand nine won an EMMY for it. You win a Grammy for the same thing. You might as well just like stack up as many like awards. You can from one performance and then do like I dunno costume design for like a British movie and just get a full. Got. Hey, you're Hugh Jackson, somebody wanted them for writing Hugh Jackson's monologue? Yes. Who was Dan Harmon, rob shrub in Ben Schwartz? I want to say it was funny. Yes. Okay. It's it's a good one. It's great opener, but it's crazy that they have trophies in their house for that though. All doesn't. I don't think he, no, he didn't write it. He was just stage meet. Right. Puppet. We. So we came up with a lot of categories in advance of this and one Demi that you'd mentioned as an idea is most robotic acting in a non Westworld series. How how would that play? How do we think it's why is all the wire all the awards for the best actors? Why don't some of the worst actors also get for trying? And I feel like cakes the con- you know you have it have a lot of confidence head out there, right? And to just be okay with the, I take you gotta really you should deserve an award for that. And I feel like it's just whoever has the worst line readings of something. I can't think of a specific example. But like if there's a scenario where it's like someone's child is missing, they're just like, where is my kid? Where are they? I haven't seen them in so long. It's like you're just. Just cry. With us go or you know what makes me think good is like in all of those NCIS or like CSI shows, there's always the lab tech that like continually asks you to come. Take a look at this. They walk around the room like forty times like. Take a look at this and like they only it's like the same tone every time they never elevate their number. Like I'm putting this together for you. They're just like, now, take a look at this chief. You're gonna wanna see this. Yeah, exactly. When procedural shows became the lingua franca of television cop shows that character supplanted the other character which was when renegade cops that played by their own rules. There was a time according to television. We're not one police officer played by the established set of rules. Why have they all played by their own rules, believe it or not, and and now you're. Eric bushman, but that that guy would have a boss that was always every time you mess around. I get heat from the mayor. This the put upon chief of detectives, but now he's been replaced by hawkers. I've got cop. I'm starting my neck out for you every damn week. Yeah, I'm a new cut set of rules. Do you play by the established. I want a show called to find cops. Follow every rule. Ten minutes of every show is just them doing paperwork. It's a real. It's a true procedure. Yes. Well, that was dragnet. That show was on it was even then a lot of shoe leather on that show. They made it like spy. They have cats and stuff that's not. That's not real copper. Here's a. Can I tell you fun little show dragnet on a podcast. Sure. This, this is neither the time nor the place drag knows a very famous television show was a radio show in the forties and fifties. Then it became a television show in the fifties. Then it came back in the late sixties and seventies it was a, it was a huge franchise, and it was this guy Jack Webb, and he had several partners throughout the run of the show in the ladder series of dragnet that was on the late sixties and early seventies, Jack directed every episode started in every episode and love to get shit faced. So like in real life around, yeah, much at lunch, check, whatever liquid lunch. And so what they would do is they would come in every day and they would shoot all of the singles in the morning when Jack was, let's use the phrase compass menta's. And then after lunch, they would do all the coverage. So if you ever watch dragnet on a rerun, all the master shots Jack's walk, and he's not moving his arms much. He's just kind of storm and into a room and coming to a sudden stop, and then they'll cut. The single and he's fine because that was four hours later when he was not shit faced. See, he would lose the semi. He's too. He had his own style. He was, yeah, he was. He was a locomotive. He was a human locomotive, Jack weapon. He was famous all those means of like talking to hippies, you think it pretty far freaky. Don't you son. Is that because I've heard various stories about various people just being like the star of the show is incredibly hard to work around and people out with it. There should be like a crew or technical award for sure most effectively working around managing the talent. It's called the. It's called the. It's a special award. There is a special Emmys. There's this the well, you know this because you worked in animation. There's the creative arts, which is the it's the Emmys for Carney's. As we call it, the ugly people Emmys. That's the one I went to the other categories go to the creative arts because it's not sexy enough of the broadcast because he's gone so long. They started to move more important awards, quote unquote to the creative arts night. So now it's gaining popularity. It's becoming like, you know, the weird kids in high school that are like after high school. Now our nominee to become all right. You guys for the Maroons. Oh. Thank you for having the Maroons. That's so true to about that creative arts EMMY show like we're taping this before the main Emmys on Monday, but after they already did those creative arts ones where they for some reason to basically every animation award they don't. Yeah. They also don't televise those right. They do now, they start. That's the thing it's population. Now they televise that unlike FX or something like that. Basically off air at the creative arts ones. They do outstanding animated program, sanding, short-form animation, outstanding character voice over performance, and then a whole set of jury prizes for the actual drying. So that's like all the parts of animated show. My friends had to do the selection for the jury prize for like the story board EMMY and they story. Yes, because you have to go through the check this out. If they don't all agree that somebody should win it, they just don't give it what. Oh. Sold. There was a b, twelve angry man. I probably shouldn't be saying he can't play. There was like they had a big and storied argument about like who should get it, whether they should get it all the apparently. That's just like the thing that's insane and incredible. And I want to see the movie. Twelve angry men. Exactly. I'm like, oh, doesn't any like I just know that they were in there the entire time discussing it like it was a very big thing because you don't have to give an EMMY Bruce Oma that like in twelve angry men. There was one guy that was like Jimmy Stewart. There were ready to give the award and just one thing about. Thing that that one character has three fingers in this handle. Fingers or fingers in the other. The fingers. Good cop. Okay. Now imagine Bart Simpson's over here on mill house. Doesn't matter are the in between one by one they're just like, Nope. The fingers are weird winter. Maybe we should give it to Bob's burgers. We've turned clydes quite come on. What's to stop them from their from being one rogue agent is just like, no, I don't like it no matter what. And they just never been any. I just I just. Let's just decide. Important Haley mentioned that there could be if we really get fun with the Emmys a category of best HBO sex position. Oh, yeah. I, I've always been fascinated by the fact that HBO doesn't trust men to be able to follow a story line. There's like some tits guiding them through, like I always felt like there should just be a little bouncing ball across the boobs. That's also being like deniro is those storm born one and she's on every what I'm right. I rain every HBO show other like they're like, fuck this really important, but we have to get everybody through this and they're like, there's just there's probably like three people that are like, well, I don't know that could be like, you know, moving boxes or and then there. I think there's just one guy that's like, what about some titties. Yeah, because it'll be like we need to explain game of thrones world, so it'll be done in a brothel with just people and the exactly it's because every time I watch a TV show. My very first question is what how did they get here? This show me sex and I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, right, right. Okay, I forgot. It's not unlike the Westminster dog show. Yes. I hate that they always break right before they go to commercial. There's like, don't forget, and then they show dogs. Fuck this is exactly this is a weird is weird. HBO strike that. I can probably say my my, my ex wife ran HBO for for years. There was one time when there was there were having problems on the show girls which she put on the air. There was sh- JR is flying through the air, and she was like the standards of practice, and it was like, Honey, there was there is a big rope Adj ISM on sex in the city one time and Jack. We've shown flying just before. Our lawyers on the foot. We've had just flying before on this network. Samantha makes sex. Ice taste is own come because she's 'cause that was actually the dragnet your again, your. Sorry, they shot that at seven pm. Interesting choice of words. I love the site precedent like it was a supreme court case. Exactly. And also like I feel like the Emmys has not yet, but could they could just get into a place where especially because they are always very specific streaming services where you pay a price just to get all of one thing like they could just start doing best. Netflix show, you know, we could just do people even know all the net flicks shows I on to me. Mike, have you seen wigwams cemetery. Way you. Really should see. Correct? Yeah, I'm still watching highlighter ink, North Dakota. I, I know that I'm not going to ever finish any show and it's so hard for me to catch everything that I'm just kind of like if I started show and then I can't catch up to it by the time that they are airing more than like. So I started watching orange, the new black, and then I sort of dropped out around season three. And then I was like big season. I think they don't see them six now and I'm just like, well, that's twice what I've seen already. So I'm done with that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, same thing. But I also have a policy where I'm just kind of like if a show is more than two seasons and I have not started ready. I'm just not going to it's in the past and I will never see. So I will never say the most shows like the why. I'm just like, I'm not going to get the teenage. My my oldest daughter is sixteen and she wa- she watches television. She's like, I'm going to watch the office and she watches all of the offices. They really completion is. Yeah. And then I'm going to watch. Splat in the Milwaukee, all of, you know, all of Bob's burgers just, yeah, that's they moved through it. It's hard and they'll just inch just Grey's anatomy. Kids in jester loves Grey's anatomy and I don't like doctors cry. Yeah, we all see the people who he'll us get hurt, but hey, Jones understand doing over two hundred twenty episodes. This is in the most procedural way to hear rascal Flatts song over someone dying, which is another one in Miami categories. Call rascal flat lines? Yes. I gotta go. Whereas me. You lost a porn site. You know what they are. Yeah, you gotta give them credit grazes something. I really like it's a, it's a very, like classic doctor show, and I think he'll eat suggested like best cop show given that the wire is the best and also like I feel like we, there's enough TV lineage. We could have just best cop show every year best lawyer shops should. Yeah. But they just give it to like Chicago cop or whatever the fuck. Every year they give it to like what's easy because that's the thing is like when people are upset about what wins at the Emmys is you have to remember this conversation about the fact that we can't possibly ingest all of these shows and then you're supposed to vote, you're in the academy so that you have to sit there and vote and you're like. Now, once I miss real, what's real good, I feel like the Emmys could be service oriented if they had some kind of award for like best show to recommend your parents, you know? Yeah, like that would be because because talk to my parents often and then they'll the, they'll be like, are you watching anything? And then I'm running all kinds of codes and filters in my head of lay, is this okay, what's Juliana Margulis up to. Whatever pops up. I'm like, mom, you gotta check out the good wife. And she's she's like way ahead of, you know, every time I talked to my mom, she tells me about Madam secretary, which is a show I'm still convinced does not exist. It's been going on. Gena Davis, wait. Paleo. Davis was Madam President. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my go-. What's was Madame President. Somewhere there is a, there are two hats at in an office somewhere. That's just an of. Madam, Justice, sitting alone. What she talks about Madam secretary is I've never seen anyone else referred to the show. I've seen billboards for it and been like they put that in my lonely. After two year, it was still on. Madam secretary is still running. I think it is in its fifth sees. No, I the thing is we'll never know. There's no way to check. So loves. She also loves the show bull which I what. Was cancelled. It's a judge who plays by his own set of rules fucking rules as the judge. The movie. What's the show bull. Oh. Like the billboard is literally his own set of rules. Play by the rules and his last name is bull. Of course -ality judge like the judge shows like I love daytime, television. I can't wait to be eighty. I'm going to be like prices right? Straight into like judge Judy, like three rounds of it. And then the guy has a bat. There's like one guy that's like, oh, judge, Alex. He has a bat instead of a gavel. I don't know because he's just tough like goes, hey rules and people, and you know what? He needs that back because people are coming in about apartment disputes. So it gets very dicey. What like strike one. Okay. Does he at the end? Whatever he's made his verdict point to one of them go, you're out of here. Does he just like, is it all slash? I think he might. Remember sometimes I'm hi. I'm watching it, but his Jogesh call balls and strikes. That's all they do. Okay. Pyres without facemasks. Yeah. And I love judges are just on Pires who control your reproductive rights. I was thinking of a category which could cover our baseball judge, which is just best insane on purpose TV show because there's so many vestments Saint on purpose. That's definitely want best insane on purpose because then I feel like there's all these actual EMMY categories where they kind of coordin- stuff off into it's reality, or it's animated or what, and insane on purpose covers a lot like like the way we actually watch TV is, do I watch this reality show or sports or or season two of cheers or anything in the world. So just all the same things together, I legitimately think that a category of just pushing for people to make crazy TV would be great because all these days will just be like, just, can we combine four of these jobs or like big, just try to make craziest chances, and then every show would be so much interesting. Zombie doctors trapped on an island, looking for love. Absolutely. With a dog that is. Also the captain of right and that dog was made by being bred at a west. Back to the west. Like undercover boss, chef. He was like undercover boss, chef who has like big opinions on things that they disagree with Whoopi Goldberg about. It is a show where Goldberg is funny pinko to like a construction site undercover, and they also cook them meals and Whoopi Goldberg across the street in a van, feeding them line. I don't agree with that. A better. We'll be Goldberg impression. Oh my gosh. But there was like, okay, so I've never watched on FOX. There's like this show master shifts that I guess I think a lot of people like in this time they're had like mentors or something, and I was turning on the TV to watch something completely different. But I walked out of the room for a second. And then I came back and it was like these two teams competing and their mentors were there. And within like two minutes, I was like, well, don't don't get to some Hanff though. She seems like she really cares and I was like, I'm so easily. I'm so sick by this thing was there show called Lucifer about the devil, but getting me a cop, yuck cop. Yup. Okay. Just checking devil Cup. Okay, good cop was the first draft. And then there was like, let's just call them by name. But he he was the devil and he came back and it was funny. Now those cop loved the cop rules. The devils play. Funny that's bad. Now going in with like, you know, whatever weird thing I'm cooking up like, oh, but devil cop is on. Yeah. Well, devil cop did get cancelled. Seven years, probably not like. Hi, how ridiculous it? Could you like good cop bag glass or something. Last cutting away on. I'm making a blind baby in Bogota. Okay. Let's show deception causing earthquake in a row niche, and then I hope you catch that. When that showed deception was announced. I was so excited because it's essentially magic Cup, deception. They basically the premise of the show was it was we called it magic castle because it was castle. But instead of a novelist, he's a magician. They were like, this guy's helped to solve crimes. Got cancelled very quickly. What Shane. What. Well, I could see like I bought a top hat and there was no rabbinate hang on. I can help you. Just like, just imagine this has to have happened in one of the episodes where it's like someone gets killed there just like, and we can't find the body anywhere. It's like, that's because you're not knocking all the secret compartments. He's just lying call the magician. Definitely. And then before they cut to like abrogate, he body falls out of the fucking companies. Abracadabra. Sharman bears or something. I don't fucking whatever it wasn't show in the there wasn't show in the seventies called the magician with Bill Bixby, and I believe he was a magician that was rather to turn to. You gotta have two jobs if you're. That you still, though if it's a female cop, it's still just as she's a, she's a lady that's her. That's personality job on TV. Like she can't possibly shit couldn't be the magician cop. She needs to be the side kick. That's, but she's female. She's a female because the oval he's maker up tight. Yeah, exactly. It can make a human being. She plays by your own rules. I put it like no nonsense cop or something in there that category as best use of she's no nonsense to describe a female character. The writer hasn't really figured out yet. Great co lead the -ception. Exactly the amount of time because I started as an actor and then I moved into writing the amount of times I'd read that and I'm like, you just don't know what she what, what this character is at all yet because she her only lines lives pager why I don't think so. We'll wait. Hold on. What are you saying? Okay. Okay. She's trying to those rules. I love that care too though. Because whenever that character I does anything like physically intense, they have a moment where the guy looks at them. It's like what? And they're just like, what dad wanted a son? Were they like. Rope with brothers. It's like we gotta give a reason why she knows how to pick. Yeah, exactly where she learned this. Yeah. Exactly. And then if she was raised in the penitentiary. I did my time hair flip. She can't possibly like things that girls like like that's the. That's like, she's just not palatable that way. If she chooses pink shirt, that's really just off game for her. Like, you know, real tough athletes don't wear pink ever like Serena Williams as never sported a pink shirt. Wait, you know, it's just so it's so awesome. Be a cop that's ridiculous. Think Gillis wait tennis cop, tennis, wait. We also have just brought computers with us just ping to protect and serve. Yes. stop foul play. Yeah. And I hope she finds love. Wow. This joke now in a month from Vinnie house. I guess you could say, test this Haracic. Incredible to we're all going to be on the view talking about how much the show means to us. Yeah. Support for today's show comes from casper. It is a sleep brand. The continues to revolutionize it's line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep, experienced one night at a time with three mattress models, the original casper, the wave, and the essential casper mattress says, are perfectly designed to soothe and cradle your natural geometry. Doesn't that sound nice? Correct. It does not to mention the breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulates your body temperature throughout the night, and it's delivered right to your door in a small. How do they do that sized box with free shipping and returns in the US and Canada. 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Slash cracked offer code cracked for fifty dollars off your mattress purchase terms and conditions apply. You know their job sites that send you tons of the wrong resumes to sort through or make you wait for the right candidates to apply to your job. That is not smart. Here's something that is smart going to ZipRecruiter dot com slash cracked to hire the right person because ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you, isn't that nice something somebody doing something for you taking care of it? Well, it's powerful matching technology scans, thousands of resumes identifies people with the right skills, education and experience for your job. And actively invites them to apply. So you get qualified candidates fast. You don't have to sort through the wrong resumes or like, wait for that magic person with all the skills to come. ZipRecruiter will find them. That's why ZipRecruiter is rated number one by employers in the US. What do you mean number one l. will that and comes from hiring sites on trust pilot with over one thousand reviews. So a lot of people cons recruiter, and it works for him. And right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at his exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter dot com slash cracked. That's ZipRecruiter dot com. Slash cracked ZipRecruiter dot com. Slash cracked ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. With the with like very Staka, dramatic procedural stuff to. We've got like a lot of categories for just moments and shows because also I, I love that awards. Show thing where with any acting award, we have a little clips of them doing it, you know, and and I think Tammy suggested outstanding scream in response to dramatic loss of a child could be a whole award. Yes, the whole. But then the real is like just screens when after another. The resident. No, we've also feels very copy. Also got one here. It's at standing line reading of the phrase and what about you wish when I when I. So I sent this to Alex and he was asking if there's a specific reference to this and there isn't. But it's like every scenario in a TV show where two people do something that is shitty. It's like one of them gets chewed out and the other one was like, yeah, and get outta here. And then the third person persons like, yeah. And what about you. Like you don't get off the hook just because you also yelled at them. It's just like, and what about you? Every episode of how to get away with murder, has that phrasing at least three times so true? Violet Davis. Does that so well to. Yeah, it's what you've got the EMI. I'm almost sure her saying. And what about you? How was in the real for both the Oscar and the EMI that she has. Oh, for sure. You could do a super cut of her. And what about you out you. Do you have doubt? Yeah, she was a film called Dow. It was an excellent that by the way I had never seen her before that film, and I saw that and I was like, that lady's real good. Movie is I have doubt. Yeah. Tell them, oh, I'm sorry. Are you sure a Dan post credits, and then she looks right at the camera and goes. And what about you. No doubt. We've also here, here's another one for for reality TV it's best shot of people thoughtfully chewing on a cooking. Joe. Like a million shots can't tell. There's been a run with me lately. He's gonna. Well, they're kinda miraculous because we never get to smell or taste any food, and we'd love on them like you have to rely on like Gordon Ramsay being. Okay. Well, that's pretty good. Then they go down the line and it like they cover it in bureau for like some time on every single episode. And then they say something they'll all be very happy about it. And then they come back and they're like Russo to was underwhelming. It was bent. It was terrible. And I'm going to muddy you now. Top mortician would be an interesting pitched that as actually I pitched that show with my friend anti jarred humane now as any and Matt. Yeah, we pitched a Todd tilt swimming. I think we almost got it picked up then like they had a, they had an executive switch and it didn't make it. But we really, we fill in time meat grinder, but you all have to make him look. Yeah. Fifties you get. That's what it was exactly like. And then there's like somebody that always tries to add a like goes real extra with people like you made her look slutty. I thought. We covered up the lesions, but I thought. What about just the sexiest over bite. You this copes. Of the ugliest men I've ever seen which matches his personality, Perth, the RAV of. And he's delicious. What. The people who are eliminated, then come back so you sure. Future. One that we think we did one where it's like these four corpses have been blown up. You must dig through this pile, find the right pieces and reassembled. Yes. To match this Matt into. So the Beatles actually, there's like it's like, I, I decided to go natural with him, but he's dead, so just looks terrible. That'd be an interesting reality show is you have Roseanne Brett Butler, Gary, and Andy, dick. They're all in a show. The show is you have to film one scene a day. Have to get a scene done. Finally, a show where the people behind the scenes are also the contest. You have to get, you have to get one scene finished. The dialects just like, Hello, how're you? Great. Basic- I dunno man, ready five. Dick's trying to have sex with a lamppost. No, no, go go, go go. That's fine. His lines while he's doing it. Timeout, a lot of competitions just before we also got most nervous, shark tank contestant. I'm very excited about shark tank is like my favorite thing on the planet, and there's always there's always like some somebody that comes in once an episode and is like. Hello snark. So. And then they're like they have to stop everything and coach them through it. They're like, listen, like, we know you have the cure for cancer. Just get through the pitch. We'll give you money, which fine and they're like cancer. It'll kill you. Then they just stop and they're like, listen, it's really do you want to go out and try again? Yes, that'd be great. One-two-three competence. And then they come back in and they're like. Every every episode they find somebody and then the confident person comes in in this like late sin. Gentlemen, I present to you the ten thousand dollar ipad. I'm gonna say, experts. I invented a thing called scrub daddy. It's a sponge. So coffee. We're getting a time where if you guys have EMMY categories or awards, ideas that you like, you can line up at that mic over there and we'll get into them and that'd be a lot of fun. So if people at home don't now there are all kinds of different places including ally where the local government will just give tax breaks to try to get a production there. And I want some kind of like Olympic style metal stand for places like we do some kind of thing at the show where like Georgia wins, forgiving the most. It's just pure who gave me the most. Actions coach does. Shoots everything also like the Walking Dead shoots. There are any seven. Shoots there and my children were visiting me last summer during the production, and then it was just like, would you guys do? They went to the mall, saw Thawra yogurt again. I know it's boring to see for walk around. Atlanta Journal constitution said that from twenty sixteen to the end of this year, Georgia will give one point. One billion dollars in tax breaks to productions for just shooting stuff there. Then. In Georgia. Then there is in Los Angeles and the Republican nominee for governor. Part of his big plan is to get rid of that tax break, which would throw. Half the state out of work, but the other half would be free, a Hollywood morals. All the guess what party he's from, get these elites outta here so we can get back to the two things Atlanta should be about which is Coca Cola and outcast. Does anybody. Oh, somebody's coming down. Go ahead and give us your name and then what of going on Travis Travis. You guys, we're talking about cooking shows. I watch shows like chopped where different contestants, like I think it'd be great to give an award for people's backstory because everybody tries to go with the Bill year. Jer biography like, you know, oh, I had a firecracker shoot up my nose and I can't taste anything in my whole life have been trying to cook, but I just can't taste. Sure. They always do screw chopped in a different way, could lead to celebrity mortician. A serial killer. Yeah, yeah. This guy was bisected by serial killer. You have forty minutes to get him at the dinner table and have his family. Not notice. It's a very important night. Daughter's recital. It's Ron and dad is dead. Ted. Corpse. Why also with the with the like people's backstory stuff. Do you guys are watch American ninja warrior? Yes, yes. There are some talented. My favorite one of those because they do an Olympic style between all the competitions you find out their whole back story but sense. American ninja warrior is all a bunch of incredibly specific athletics stuff. You end up seeing the backyard courses, they built themselves. There's always a shot of them, like doing a pommel horse in their backyard with a rope hanging from it, and it's great, great. Greatest thing about American injure warrior is that you can have someone who you get their backstory and they're just like my dad died when I was very young. My mom has cancer, and we we bonded together are watching this show. It's one of the greatest things. So I spent all my time getting his audition and then like getting strong and making sure that I could do this course. And then on the very first. They fall into a fucking pair of wire, and then it's like, oh, that's a smart. Issue out with the net Jenin. We've got a man who just wondering off the street and he gets to the end, so true. So true. That is the greatest thing in the world. Ninja such a, like, it's a quiz. I religious calling and feudal Japan news, Gaza Merck, and. Japanese fat guy who thinks he's awesome for no reason. It's like the flip. Of American ninja warrior. We got. We got another up person here. Everyone. My name's Jim. Got a little detour here, not necessarily television, but the rate that YouTube is getting more and more popular. Maybe in ten years you might be doing another one of the is for YouTube award categories. You're ship goes down this year. It'll be all YouTube next year. Yeah. Let me help the stream. He's technically right. Oh yes. Street wage. I was not wasn't award originally given out to urologists. I see a taking over, but I will say I had to go to the I street. I wouldn't like the first stream easer ever because I was on the first big whip series is called prom Queen. And yeah. Thanks for it was nominated for a the first like EMMY that was like in that thing or whatever. But but we went to the streaming like everything broke like everything had this, like they had to stop everything because something went wrong. Like the lights went out like four times or something. So hopefully the stream he's become a big thing. To happen. I was just thinking of some categories. I don't know, like breakout, racists, Utah. Contested category. Comment confused. As some are. I can't wait until the breakout. Racist category has controversy because there aren't enough women nominated. It's all these white men and like all the black guys like the black Homer like, no, it's fine. I think most sinister kids YouTube algorithm. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. Papa, yes, pop up like. Elsa and Spiderman baby. Tough. Fucking oh my there are such. Oh my God, follow. We have how much time. Here is there is seriously some extremely. I don't know if it's gone now, but for awhile there was some extremely creepy should happening on YouTube where it was like, no, that can't be true. No, going somewhere trust me where it was like people were making videos where it was like Elsa is like it's someone in an Elsa Causton this pregnant and someone in Spiderman custom that's pregnant. And that doing like vaguely sexual things and getting millions of views because kids will search like their favorite things aren't you. And then these videos will come up and it's it's so fucking like, I still know if it's going on, but I reject the premise. Yeah. And it was basically being like, well, we're not doing anything explicitly sexual going to demonetized us for money ties tomorrow taxes for. It's just like one of the creepiest things on YouTube that they were straight up like we don't know how to deal with this for so long is so. I actually thought that the one thing the internet taught us was that most people aren't talented, but correct. I think the thing it really what is it that many people are evil or then you think I said evil, or I know there's a lot of people that was like, yeah. Like, oh, you're no, that's evil. That's evil. That's just bad. I always end up my mind you to whole my YouTube rabbit holes always end up at like spider versus wasp, like like, like. Like it goes onto like I start on like a cat video. I somehow Smith isn't visit pregnant spider man thing. And then I end up like I like twenty minutes later. I'm like, oh, man. Dr. Pimple Popper. Got. Until the Canadian guy that does all the aunt for all the ant colonies. No, I don't see a bunch of fire ants. He calls answered the fire nation. Canadian accent and you'll see like time lapse target. If you have like an aunt, killing a cockroach-like, an a, an ant colony, killing like a giant book to answer the fire nation set on the cockroach dinner. Dinner just go the cockroaches pregnant, early conflict, showing this. We'll see that'll be a category because somebody else is going to be like he's getting really to ant colony. If these things kinda come together more and more, you know that a word show thing where somebody wins, and then in their speech there like all the other nominees remaining, you know, they're going to be things where a traditional entertainer wins and the other four nominees were these things. Yeah. And the YouTube channel. I like which is a guy puts cans of beef aronie in lava flows and you watch him blow up. Wow, that's speech. And he's like, and all the, I'm the only good one that's just. Yeah, just me think of all the people who spend weeks writing videos or songs in their basement, putting them up on YouTube to one hundred hits Pifer Rony yeah, lava flow. I can't believe I beat crying Iraq. War veteran getting his nipples pierced. And you know, I mean, really everyone in this category is a Witter you said the n. word you the dude who made up slur all the all our winners. And the winner is zero g diarrhea. Kiefer's people while can say. Of the winds up the first of all what? How wow. And yes, I do say the n. word. Perfect time for these people go off the n. word. I was thinking about a, what's your name to? Oh, my name's Mitchell high Hamish. I was thinking about how there's I was watching American vandal this weekend. I don't know, man, what's not show rules, but I was thinking about how they Netflix has like a lot of documentary shows that are like straightforward and serious and like, oh, this thing happened, but then they also have American vandal which is parodying that. So I was thinking of maybe like best parody shows of shows on the same network. Hailed as like parodying like a cooking competition or how the soup used to be on e. parodying, their type of shows. I think that would be a really fun. Detected, which is a parody of the wire. How was Lucifer not a parody. They found some drama in the fact that devil also likes to be a cop. He doesn't want to be so bad wants to make things right. We got, and then we've got a remember how you hope this is a good finale. We'll see. Hang on. Let's we're all gonna get our hopes up. Okay. Go. I'm Harry hair. All these, all these categories were coming up with their based off, shows that exists. But I'm thinking about shows that I want to exist. Right? So I think the most logical categories, wacky est or zanies police consultant because their magic castle could come back. We could do like jet ski consultant. From guy who runs jets much what Hawaii five o is. Yeah. That's an institution. I think it's almost Baywatch too. Jetski can. This guy as soon as he goes in the water. You made one mistake buddy coming out onto the scene. See category of best show you couldn't make today retirement. Like with all these like Murphy Brown is coming back. I've just wanted to go Hogan's heroes yet. Do it again. It's a Nazi prison camp during World War Two. There's Amy. Kinda friends with your buddy. They're all the other show that always Hogan's heroes, obviously. And the crazy thing about Hogan's heroes is that the people that made Hogan's heroes at wrote actually remember World War Two. They actually fought in World War Two. New real Nazis which now people are. So we're more removed from it then when it was on the air and now you can't do it, which is interesting thing up two very good reasons out like the newest war, or they'll know Ralph fines is clink like really just go on you guys. What are you know they're going to sex it up and put it on CW. Tina t hat teen concentration, gag work, Hogan's heroes. Hogan's anti heroes, and then they're going to be like one's very dark and is like, you know, it's like I'm on. I'm a demon, and then the other ones like, but I'm, you know what? I just had sex. It's just Riverdale but they were all they all escape the building. It's room. It's Riverdale, but in the burqa skied with like hit the, I'm angry at my Mazda. Hitler's varying Steve. Going to be curly, curlicue mustache, and then finally like trims it all when it. Yeah, you're gonna see all these people like I stand Hitler Mussolini. Leaney's news at the show thinking the entire premise, the show three's company. One guy thought another guy was gay. That was the show. I want to seven seasons. The secret to the show is they just had a good enough fem- song that everyone was just not thinking about everything else, but it was. But it was it was a lonely. It wasn't one hundred years ago. It was like thirty forty years ago. You remember that show from two thousand fourteen work it that was canceled after like two. Now we're, the premise was too many women nowadays are getting jobs. So two men dressed up as women to get the jobs that they can't get. It was bosom buddies, but they were like, we should bring back bosom buddies and it didn't or it was cancelled almost because they were a stripper. So immediately like, oh, come on. Biased area guy you guys working on. It was come on men, God damn. Great straw run, potentially eighteen percent of job? Yeah, we gotta getting there. Folks says the episode for this week, my thanks to Demi outta you EBay, Haley Manzini and Dana Gould, and our live UCB's sunset theater audience for making television better. Just want silly idea at a time. What a lot of fun. I still want best British. I want that to be a category everything, but it could be could be the country could be period. Dramas could be baking, whatever you want. And speaking of the best things check out this week's food notes for some amazing facts about the world of hit TV, that kind of underpinned our ideas, especially about animation. I love that medium and the primetime Emmys main broadcast barely acknowledges that it exists. And I, I know that's not in the top one hundred problems or thousand problems that we would like to fix at the moment bowel. So I think it would be very easy. We can just knock that out in between things, you know, get him, get him on the main show cartoons, they're great. Here's something else you can do. You can check out the Budo spanned. They're a great musical group that makes our theme music. A song called Chicago. Falcon also we're episode was engineered and edited by the multi-talented, Chris Sousa. If you love this episode, that's great. If you hate it, let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media, a place. I'm talking jeopardy at Alex committee on Twitter, and I'm also on the wider internet at my website, Alex Schmidt dot com. It has my show dates and my Email newsletter of just fun stuff and more. And I'm happy to say we will be back next week with more crack podcasts about that. Talk to you. This has been an ear. We'll production executive produced by Scott Akron, Chris, Ben, and Colin Anderson for more information content, visit ear, wolf dot com. Everyone's got Offerman here and I'm Laura lab polyp Thompkin. We have a brand new podcast called three. The three of us have a lot of fun conversations together. We wanted to show where we aren't playing characters. So we abandon our individual podcast formats to discuss each other, the world and everything in between, although maybe we should have done all of our podcast formats on top of each other simultaneous like Fritz like that. Yeah. Like friends, we are friends in this limited series. We try to figure out what the show should be called. We share weird stories from our childhood. We make fun of each other a lot, which is kind of a bummer sometimes like not for all of us. Just for one of us, we. That one. There are two episodes out right now on the three podcast feed make sure to check out three them wherever you get your podcast or go fuck yourself.

Emmys Haley Manzini Demi Chicago Alex Schmidt YouTube Slash EBay Jack Webb Dana Gould Twitter Oscars Alex trebek Netflix devils Bob Google Grammy Dan Harmon
The Weirdest Ways Music Pranks The Human Brain

The Cracked Podcast

58:55 min | 2 years ago

The Weirdest Ways Music Pranks The Human Brain

"Support for today's show comes from square space because they think you're neat people. Listen to the crack podcasts, have all kinds of things going on or things they're just interested in. You can build an entire website around that. So these neat things about you live online. Wouldn't that be cool launch your passion project, showcase your work, show off your writing or just be you with a unique website and a unique domain had to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code crack to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with all the stresses of life, it can be easy to lose perspective on what really matters. Right? But Heineken believes that life is about being with friends and opening yourself to new experiences because when you live spontaneously and you embrace the unexpected, it's a chance to create new stories and connections. You just have to be open to it. So enjoy a refreshingly cold full-bodied Heineken lager today with its deep golden color light, fruity aroma, mild bitter, taste, and a crisp clean finish. Cheers. Hey, there folks welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast, the podcasts all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt. I'm ahead of podcasting here at cracked. I'm also known as Schmidt e the clam, and I am also also going to play you something that was the product of professional movie composers working hundreds of hours focus groups coming in and listening to it. Neuro research being part of it at won a contest with over two hundred submissions here is that work of art. Yep, that's it. There we go. That is the visa signature sound and it's something they're using for mobile payments. Now that signature sound, let's listen to that work again yet there. Yeah, that's it. And we had a great article on cracked by Jordan breeding, and it is called five weird realities of composing music for movies, and ads and Jordan spoke to many people, including Jonathan David Russell who is mainly composer of scores for indie movies, but he won a competition with visa to put that together. And you would think maybe it's strange that massive corporations are putting together all of the resources they can to get to notes, right. But the thing is, our brains are very, very responsive to even the tiniest differences in music. It influences all kinds of things we do, and that's what we're talking about today. The topic is weird ways music pranks the human brain, some of the pranks positive. Some are negative. All of them are very, very. Fun to me and we're joined by a very fun guest. Jamie brew is a comedy writer from places like click whole. He's an artificial intelligence experimental, and he's a returning guest. If you're a member an episode we did before, of course, we will food note that seek and here it too. It's an episode where we talked to the team from bought Nick, which is a comedy website that is using algorithms and predictive text to writes, comedy for humans, it's robots and people writing for people, and it's very fun. They did a fake new. Harry Potter chapter that took the internet by storm. They've done all kinds of other work, and now they're putting something together called the song you Larry, the song, clarity as an entire album of parody songs written with predictive text and algorithms, and bringing in other blocks of material. It's great. There's a footnote to it. You can find it at the song hilarity dot com. And I am really excited to talk to him about this topic because he has a unique expertise. He's a comedy. The writer he's also way into automation. And today we're talking about how the human brain is kind of a thing that puppets us. We're a little bit automated by how our brain reacts to things and decides about things, and music is extremely powerful. In that way. It's really fun. It's really scienc- and I think we have a good time of it. Why don't you have a good time listening to it? Please sit back or sit there confident that you're too smart to be pranked by your own brain. Even though you're drinking a very, very expensive wine that you bought because of Tchaikovsky. Anyway, please enjoy this episode of the crack podcast with Jamie brew. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you them. You guys at MC made a Coachella poster. That's just one of my favorite internet images. I think we'll we'll footnote it for people so they can see it. But how did that come together? So Coachella was coming up. Someone in the ranks knew about Coachella and thought this would be a good visual format that everyone knows about that we could rip out its guts and put in new computer generated guts, and we tried for that poster, a new method that we hadn't really used a lot before, which is to use a computer program called a neural network. That scans a bunch of texts and learns about the character sequences. So just learns which letter is come after other letters most frequently and are normal methods of generating words are already pretty dumb, but Nurul nets don't even know about full words. They're just going down to letter by letter predict. Of the next most likely letters in a word and band names are fertile ground for this, I guess because they don't have such a high bar of of making sense in the first place. So I think it's easy to believe that just about anything is abandoned name. And what we did was we had this neural net spit out thousands and thousands of band names, and then we went through it as a group and picked out some fans that seemed most promising or that they would have the most the longest careers in we put him on this poster. I love that it automates down to the ladder. I didn't know that about it. That's the best because this poster here the headliners if people don't know about cutch outlets usually three day festival with three headliners and then about a billion bands below them. And so the headliners for this version of at our fans, one. Of pig and Lil hack, which they all are kind of uncanny, they feel real lay. As I looked down this, I would believe there's a band called John party times for or a band called Bush. Fuck because I already listened to bands like Portugal, the man, his golden messenger, you know, just lots of bands that have real names, but they just kind of mean whatever people feel like, yeah, they feel is real to me as most bands that I feel. Which is very real. I think bantered they're real well, and I and I like this too as a sideway and to kind of the main thing we're talking about today, which is the ways that news it can prank the human brain. And I feel like much like ban names Ken, just feel real. If a neural networks spits them out letter by letter, our brains will fall for a lot they, they will be on board for just about anything music wants them to be on board for is that is that creepy? I don't know. I, I don't know how to feel about it. Exactly. I think music is just it's really impressive. It's doing a lot of stuff all at once and so I'm ready to be praying when there's so much going on it. One of the parts of it isn't quite right, that's fine. And I think that's probably a rabbit hole that leads to it leads to bad things for me if I trust music too much. Right? You're going to be like pants by music or it's gonna like candid camera you somehow just gone about your day. Yeah, and it's everywhere. There's music in. In the cities that we walk around it. There's music in the words we speak to each other. There's a really loose definition of music that I think people like to use when they're speaking poetically. So there's that it's more efficient that way to, you know, people say the music of New York. That's interesting. I don't. I don't hear a lot of people say that, but I had a professor once who he, he was an old jazz musician, and he was also teaching a comedy TV writing. So he's had quite a life and he expressed his idea that you can look at basically any stand up comedian and look at it like music. Like just each of them are playing their instrument and their way where there are specific consistent rhythms that you get used to. I guess, cities are like that too, and so many other things. Yeah, I think music is it. It's really inviting for someone who wants to make a comparison between their art form and some other art form. Because once you have enough experience, you feel at ease. I bet you start thinking this is really easy, and this is I'm really just fitting a few of the same simple pieces together. There's a formula to this. It's so obvious in music that there's only twelve notes that we really use in the melody. That leads us into a fun example here got this one from a great cracked article called five ways. Your taste in music has scientifically programmed by Christie, Harrison and Chris rat a mile. I learned from it that our brains are sort of hardwired to recognize musical notes as sad or happy. And I feel like on the face of it that sounds just sort of normal. But like you say, j. music all boils down to just a handful of notes, and that's all we've got there have been various studies done, and then also just our own experiences testing it out. Oddly major and minor keys will have extremely clear moods to us, even though the difference between a major and minor key is literally three notes. That's I feel sad when listened. With music. That's trying to be said. I think it seems like it just works and maybe it has something to do with whether or not it fits together or whether or not you're able to figure out what's going on. If you're really confident that you have a piece of music figured out in an throws a note at you that you weren't expecting that's jarring and it's jarring maybe in like a smaller way than it is when you think your life is figured out and life there is something unexpectedly at you, right. It's still it's still stores for, like you say, it's a smaller effect, then some huge life event. But if I the more I think about it feels bigger than it should be like, it's just notes. It's just tones at a pitch, but it is a completely jarring and weird. And let's let's get jarring right now because we've got a clip here of some joker on YouTube has sat down at a piano and they've taken further lease by Beethoven, which is a song I think all of you listening at home. No. And if you don't, you'll hear it. And you'll be like, oh, yeah, you know, but here's him playing the song in its actual key. I'll talk over a little bit because you know it, but this is him playing it in the key of a minor. And Yep recognizable, right? Everybody knows this song. He's on YouTube. He doesn't need the compliments is fine. Now here he goes. And now our hearing. Is aid h. And it sounds soon. But that is so strange to me because the only difference between a major and a minor is that is three nights a major has see sharp sharp, and g sharp, a minor flips those. I believe to all see natural natural g a natural, and that's all it takes to make that song sound completely bizarre to me. Right? It's it's so weird that our brains can make that flip on so little, right? Yeah. When you only have a handful of notes even going on in the first place and you switch three of them it, it's like putting it in a whole different language in. Yeah, it sounds happier. It sounds like a completely different song with there's there's science about it that sort of argues one way or the other, how much do you think like when we hear major and we think happier, it's like partly our brains, recognizing they do you think maybe there's also a cultural component, like I feel like we're yes. Every time I heard someone play something happy before every time I heard someone plays something major. It was in a happy context and so I'm gonna remember those happy context. Yeah, I think that would be that would have been my, I guess. But I think from reading the primary materials, it sounds like there's something more to it than that. Yeah, because that's there have been studies done with a group of people called the Simona people who are a tribe in the Amazon rainforest, and so they are were relatively untouched by, you know, the like Beethoven and television, and so on that you and I have, and that group could both tell very easily that there was a strong difference between major and minor keys, but also the studied, didn't find that they put any sort of value judgment on them. They weren't like, oh, the minor ones definitely sadder. The major ones definitely happier. They just definitely knew that they were listening to two different types of music. And so it's, I don't know a lot of this psychology stuff is stuff where. There's no total control group or total like vacuum. You can do it in as I just find that fascinating too, that it's sorta hard to pin down exactly how much is cultural or just flat out our brains tricking us. Yeah, it makes me wanna live in a culture where it's the opposite and were minor is the thing you play it, weddings and happy is the thing you play when the villain enters the frame. I wanna see. I wanna see store. Whereas with the theme I. Luke zooming in the death star, and triumphing. You've got the imperial March or whatever. My my brain specifically job to Star Wars, sue. That's. I think it's just like the most. It's the most over the top of like, there's a good team and there's a bad theme. Maybe it's because it's such a, it's such a new world that you need to be reminded. These are the good people, and these are the bad people. But I think you've got, you've got a lot of that going on. And it's also like costume and cultural markers like Darth Vader is in head to toe black, which is not evil on its face unless you live in, I guess western culture would call it where we're black is evil. You know, it's such a, they're doing every single thing. So on the nose, it's great. It works that way when you're in a key and music, and if one note is out of key, it sounds really weird. Well, let's let's keep looking at things that just will puppet your brain if you hear them right? Because we've got the incredible major minor key difference, but then there's also something that has a lovely, lovely name called the Torah. And that is a musical term basically for moving from dissonance two consonants you, you briefly go into a note that doesn't fit and. Like you were just saying Jamie, the brain immediately feels off balance. If a single notice is out of key or or a different tone and just overtime, composers and music songwriters have found that if you do in podge eter if you move one note out of the key and then right back in that gives people a level of comfort, but also it helps you write sad songs, which is amazing. Yeah, it sounds like a great trick. Do we have? Do we have an example to play? Yeah, we do. So there's one of the just greatest singer songwriters of all time as names Kermit the frog and here's Kermit playing one part of the song rainbow connection and listen to the middle part of the word connection. The the neck part. Find the rainbow connection. The lovers, the next part there at kinda dips out, right? It's a little bit off. Yeah. When he goes dissident for moment, I hate Kermit the frog. Back. But the hormone is finish. I feel I feel like that's how Sam eagle listens to that suck. He's like, so mad about what the hell are you doing Kermit you'd better be going somewhere with this. Oh, it was an apology tour. And that's it comes up across all kinds of other music to in the cracked article. They draw on Adele quite a bit. The song someone like you basically constantly has a positive as and so that that sudden tension of going out. And then back in is very powerful in a sad song, or even rainbow connection is just sort of, you know, sort of more influence sweet to me. It's not sad sad, but songwriters have figured out over time that they can just do that in music to make us feel a certain way. And that's a single note difference. That's just it's just amazing. It's great. I can't get enough of Budgie a tour. It was the one that the article mentioned from a while ago in an opera the Tristan chord. Is this another example of a Pasi tour or am I jumped ahead? It might be, I, I know very little about opera. I know only as much about opera, as I read from this article. Maybe one other, and there's this one chord that is famous in opera music and maybe classical music in general. That is something called at half diminished. Seventh. And when you get this half diminished, seventh, you've got all sorts of distance going on inside it. The famous use of this cord is when only part of that distance results and you get a cord, that sort of sounds good and feels like a step up, but it's still got weird stuff going on in there. And this is called the Tristan chord because it was in an opera about tristen and is old if I'm saying that, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that that's? That's Wagner opera now. I think I'm remembering that's so impressive to me because it seems to be a famous cord, and it's famous just for the notes that are in it in like we were talking about before when you only have a few notes to play with and you're able to write a combination of those that becomes famous throughout history for being the weirdest comp. Nation of notes that still works. It's gotta be something you're proud of if you're Faulkner. Yeah, really well, and especially in an opera context where when I say I know very little about opera, I do know a lot about opera in the context of Bugs Bunny and that opera when they like when they use Barbara of Seville or when they use Wagner, it's it's sort of matched very, very closely to all the action. And so there must have been very pleased to come up with a cord that elicited such an emotional feeling when at the same time it needed to support a story. It must be incredibly effective in the story of whoever tristen on his soul. Dr Who could. No, I don't know. Yeah, I think they were in love. Yeah, probably that's something something bad must have happened. 'cause that cord played. Why an in the intro talked about the song Laryea which is great project. You guys have coming together about nine people should support it. Also one step back. How much experience do you have with composing music? Jamie? Like how much of you done that? Well, I've written a bunch of songs on guitar, and I take her own with the piano sometimes, but I've never taken a composing course. So not that much, you know a lot of songs in the same way that anyone with a guitar that is just lying around and it's sometimes in their room as written a lot of songs, and I took piano lessons as a kid, it it never really caught on that much. And then when I stopped taking panelists, I started liking playing piano more because there was no deadline. That was one of those kids. It's so strange how music is almost more appealing for just fooling around. And then when it when it gets serious, it's much harder. I think it's nice to have taken those lessons. I'm curious with the with the singularity who or which computer did the writing because these are parodies of songs, but also driven by algorithms and the way that about Nick does so much of its comedy. Well of the songs are written using voice box, which is the same predictive text tool. We use for many of our web things. It was what we used to write the Harry Potter chapter and it's what we used to write a bunch of scripts. And that works really similarly to predictive text feature on your phone in that it suggests likely next words in the context of whatever source material you feed it right with many of these songs clarity, songs, we're taking two genres or two source texts and combining them. So we'll ask it to suggest words. Are likely in a fifty fifty combination from Bob Dylan and negative yelp reviews of restaurants or the lead single was Morrissey plus Amazon customer reviews of the p ninety x workout system. This is a bunch of those mashups and then there are some songs that are using other methods. There's a neural nets long in there where we traded it on a ton of country music, and then just let it spit out a bunch of lines and sorted them by rhyme and fit together. The lines that Bryant rhymed at the most and seemed to make the most sense. That's amazing. Well, and it also as I hear that, that sounds weirdly similar to apparently how a lot of just regular pop music has come together because in the in that same cracked article, they look at something called the million song data set, which took basically all of the pop hits from nineteen fifty five to today and ran them sort of reverse, ran them through an algorithm to check their Timberlake variety, which is how much just sort of a different tone and pitch, and melody is in the music you could call it how interesting the music is. And. Not only did it find that songs would tend to match up with each other year to year, but also they've been getting less and less and less variety over time. The line basically peaks in the nineteen sixties and then goes down to today, and it sorta suggests that consciously or not everybody's writing to a formula or an algorithm as they've made pop music over the decades. Well, that makes a lot of sense to me. It sounds like we're getting closer to the right song. We've been trying to ride on for years and years, and we're probably getting really close. And so this just reaffirms my belief that the song hilarity is close the time when we will be able to automatically generate songs that are better than any song we could right as a person, and we should keep plugging and keep trying to combine these different lyrics and we should all invest in companies that are doing their part to bring about the song Garrity. I love the idea of us being done. That's the best. Well, doesn't that sound great? No end the pain of the artist. Right? They've been screwing around like with Pia knows and guitars, it really hurts your fingers, you know? And then you have to figure out like where to put Wiley, Coyote in the story. It's a whole deal. Yeah. Well, not as we look at just sort of more ways. Music can kind of operate us. We, we looked at that million signed data set just now there's also a study that scientific American wrote up where the study found that brain scans can a little bit predict pop hits. They took a group of people and loaded them up into MRI scanners and said, okay, let's see what happens. This was at Emory University. They were doing the study and they took children and put them in an MRI scanner and had them listen to a big variety of basically potential future pop hits, and then they tracked the kids brains and also how the songs did over three year period. And they found that the songs that performed better with. Public tended to stimulate the nucleus accumbens region of the brain, which is a is one study by one group of people also potentially amazing, right? They found Bill like button that makes us like music. It's always good to find a button that does something inside the brain exciting, someone discovers one of those I noticed in the article, it was full of disclaimers about, well, you know a lot of these studies that find the miracle area of the brain that does this thing. They turn out to be methodologically flawed or something, but this one seems pretty good, but maybe not, but wouldn't it be cool and having studied neuroscience or having studied cognitive neuroscience, I should be better equipped to tease apart credible. This is, but it's really exciting to think about how deep have you gone in studying nursing? Well, I studied it in to graduate. So I got a degree in cognitive neuroscience, which is some. Where between psychology and neuroscience and mostly did pay Vural stuff. So didn't get deep into brain imaging, but got deep enough to know what this article disclaims disclaims which is became awful. When there seems to be an area of the brain that is outrageously specific. I met a few people who studied something similar on an undergrad, grad level, and they all these articles give them the willies. They really, they really, really don't like it. They're like, no, we don't. We don't know where anything is located in the brain, please don't say that. But also this one study thinks maybe we found the button. It's it's an interesting field that I feel like we're still working out of exactly what triggers the brain where, but it is the as we look at other stuff here too. They're, they're interesting just sort of theories about neural pathways being key to the music. We like almost as an accident of timing or or just physical development, which is a meeting. Yeah, there's there's so many things going on in the brain. The willies is a good word to put to it. It thinks that the fear is like whenever we even look at something or here's something there's this so much that happens that it's hard to pull apart when I mentioned neural pathways before at the same article picks out a thing that it might be brain architecture or it might just be cultural and and it's it's hard to pin down. But a few people have theorized that our music preferences kinda get locked in, not just when we're young, but specifically right around age fourteen, which is quite specific, I feel, but there's a Columbia professor named David, hey, do who's just looked kind of across the history of twentieth century music and found that a lot of our biggest musicians based on their age and also based on their own statements and interviews happened to hear the right influential thing when they were fourteen years old. And that kind of steered their whole career. 'cause in he didn't article in the New York Times about it. He claimed that Elvis's first hits were in nineteen fifty five and nineteen fifty-six, and those years lined up with the exact ages of Bob Dylan. Paul McCartney John Lennon Joan Baez Brian Wilson Lou Reed Jimi Hendrix and Jerry Garcia where all either fourteen or fifteen in fifty five and fifty six. And so that worked out for them. And then he even cites Bob Dylan saying that the Elvis song mystery train in nineteen fifty five when he was fourteen was a huge influence on them. And that also Paul McCartney had a dad who led jazz big bands and was way into the Trump at until he heard heartbreak hotel when he was fourteen years old and then it just flipped. And he was like, I'm done. I'm a rock musician now because my brain received a that's murderers row of other musical influences. I wonder what the bumper years for the two thousand czar he is. I actually I was trying to math that out and sitting around with it and Kanye west has said that tribe called quest was one of his biggest influences and they put out there Elbaum low end theory when Kanye was fourteen, which is one of their biggest ones and then kind you put out graduation in two thousand seven, which is when people like chance the rapper and Vince Staples were fourteen, I was doing all kinds of like timeline stuff in in in my place. It was great. I guess we do for the ADA weights and heartbreaks wave to hit yet let fourteen year old benchmark resonates with me when I'm asked, what bands do you like? What? What influences do you have in whatever music you've written? I think I cast around for awhile and can't think of any bands. And then I'd say something that I was listening to one of his fourteen which is usually the strokes. I love the strokes with this age. Fourteen thing like if there is a brain architecture part to it, cognitive psychologist, Daniel Levitin has said that right around that age. We have a lot of just growth hormones from puberty. And other things going on in the body that caused a lot of construction in the brain. You know, there's all very vague. They're still figuring it out, but there could be some kind of architectural component to either way. I feel like a lot of what we like musically is an accident of what culture was doing at that very, very specific age. It's it's sort of a a weird late. Like what if you grow up when pocus peaking, you know then then you're into polka, that's it done. Yeah, you're kind of time capsule gets to talk about one thing and Phil teacher generations. Would it used to be like, like when polka was cool? It's a weighty responsibility. Support for today's show comes from squarespace, and, hey, you're, you know, you're great. We, we don't say it enough more people should be. 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Do you feel that's true to sit in your own personal experience? Like when I go to restaurants, I feel like I don't notice it, but maybe it's going on. I don't notice it either, but I don't notice a lot of things, and I think music as we talked about before, it has plenty of avenues to try to lead you to things. So I wouldn't put it past music that devil. Yeah, yeah. If we look at drinking, like I, I don't drink a lot of line. I'm not very into it, but people who do really try to pick out, oh, it has this and that flavor tone. And you know, like I, I swear it around and I analyzed it like a character in a film. And then I then I discover it right. That's a whole thing. And the BBC reported on a study where researchers also, I love how some scientific studies feel like just elaborate. Pranks researchers took a group of people and they had them try wines while one of four different kinds of music was played. They either heard occur Meena Borana by Carl ORF, which is an incredibly heavy medieval thing about like fate. You know, it's very, very harsh. They also listen to the waltz of the flowers from the nutcracker by hausky they listen to just can't get enough by nouvelle vague, which is an upbeat piece. And then they listen to a piece called slow breakdown by Michael brook, which is mellow and soft, and then people. Title reported drastically different characteristics of the wine. They were drinking depending on which music listening to. Yeah, this makes sense. This is the wine. Yeah, I, I would imagine that I want my wine tasting to rhyme somehow with the music, whether that's but being a mellow and soft wine that pairs with a mellow and soft music. Right. Is that how it worked? Yeah, people would here for instance, powerful and heavy music of Karmiel Borana and then whatever. Why? And they were drinking. They would be like, oh, this has a very heavy element to it. Oh yeah. And they, they would do that swirl thing that makes you makes you seem like you know, wine a whole thing? Yeah, music is very confidence building. It lets you solidify your opinions about wine, I guess. And then they also the researchers took people aside afterward and gave them questionnaires to just check whether they notice what the music was that was playing and people did not notice. They forgot her, didn't pay attention. And then meanwhile, it was like putting their brain to make them think the wine tasted a certain way. We're such fools. In the contest between music and people. Music has us and also then with food cracked article, the five, weirdest things that influence how your food tastes by Adam wears. They have found that if a restaurant is playing very, very loud music, it makes it harder for our brains to tell whether the food is we'd or salty. It just tastes like kind of food in a very, very capital left Broadway, which is amazing. And then also another study like a well, Jamie, you and I like what would be like ideal just music to eat food to think. Right. Like if he could be eating anything in a pleasant setting, what would be like some nice music? We'll be a good soundtrack. I would like a drumbeat that is just once every beat like a like a serpent with a drum. Like let's palace. Yeah. Standing there hitting the drum once every beat for beat the measure. That sounds nice and simple. I I'd also go with no music or the Beatles. Those are the three options. Yeah, I would go Beatles too. I think they've done studies where they've found that if a restaurant plays relatively neutral music at a specific volume matching human conversation, which is sixty two to sixty seven decibels. No one knows decibels. Just trust that that's human conversation level. It makes the food taste better. And so that's why in most sit down restaurants, they will be playing music at like a pretty medium volume that you can kind of talk over. But also here whether or not they know what they're playing the appropriate level of music to make you like their food more. It sounds really plausible and it sounds like the more and more of these tricks that people discover the more likely will all be to head toward the one song that the average of all song I can start to understand better. The study that found me. Music was converging or music was becoming more and more predictable. How often do you listen to the radio? Because I tend not to listen to like top forty radio very often. I think it's almost only when I'm in my friends cars. I think I rarely listen to the radio any other time, and I don't have a car myself. So that's like once a month? Yeah, right. It's also social, isn't it? I feel like I've been in cars with friends sometimes and they'll be playing just regular radio, and I'll wonder like, do they want to listen to this or are they just playing the music that we've kind of democratically agreed to, you know, yeah, considerate play music that you think others will listen to, but if everyone starts acting that way, then I think that will that will be an averaging for us to. Yeah, when because let's a, this is one other clip here. This was made by a site called quartz, and they are sort of dialing into one specific thing that's been happening lately. And music, which is the millennial whoop is the kind of fun name of it, and we will hear it in, I don't know seven or eight songs in a row very quickly here. It's recognizable right that like, oh, yeah, taken without the backing track. It sounds like the noise of slow understanding like. Oh, like you're constantly getting new information and and getting it. I love that the first one was California Gurls. By Katy Perry, I love the idea that it's a song about her discovering stuff about women from California. Let's great. Yeah, I mean, or in really broad strokes, discovering that the chorus is what needed to be here. The chorus feels right for this song. I wonder how conscious the writers of the millennial whoop songs are of using that reference. When they see an article about it feels almost like the author of the article is saying, you're all the same. You millennials, you've fall into this pattern. I have your number. But I think more generous way of seeing it would be well, that's just code for we're cool and we're young may maybe that's not that much more generous. I don't know now I like it. Why people should be more generous with the term millennial in general? I feel I only ever see it written up as code for like young jerks or like some kind of negative tone. I really don't like it that whoop and music. That's interesting question. You bring up of our composers aware of that. And I, I would tend to feel like they are aware of it just because we'll, we'll footnote this, this courts video. It's great and short and breaks it down very well in terms of the architecture of this whoop, it's sort of a triad. It's moving from the fifth note of the scale to the third note of the scale back to the fifth back to the third back to the first batch of the third. And so that's such a straightforward musical structure to write that. I would be surprised if composers are just kind of accidentally landing on it. You know, I feel like they either hurt. It it in a song or figured it out, and they were like, oh, this is a pleasant, very simple back and forth. Yeah. I always wonder about how often you would overlap melodies just by random chance. And I usually want to give people the benefit of the doubt because it seems so easy to do when you have such few places you can hit. It's obviously, in this case, it's become more common. I guess it feels unconscious to me. I don't. I also don't know if these songwriters would stake any of their honor or. If they would care or if they would say. Sure. Yeah, that's I'm using that reference in. That's fine. I think I often come across songs that sound very similar in the melody. It seems very unintentional. I think you're right, and you're not just being charitable like you're also it's it's how this stuff works a lot. Well, I I don't know about you, but also in comedy, I feel like either as I'm writing something or I see someone else tweeting something and then they find out they're just often be similar joke in the world. There's all kinds of parallel thinking it's called happening all the time. Yeah, it comes up a lot in comedy. And if you think that the same joke can be made and happened independently, I think you've got to think the same thing happens for music. He actually the last. The last parallel joke I saw was somebody did a tweet where they said, I don't want to get too inside baseball, but and then it was just a an attached picture of a baseball cut in half. So you can see the core and the layers of this literally. Inside of baseball, and then somebody else popped up and said, man, I hate to say this, but I did that. And then I think somebody else jumped into. So it was a cascading series of everybody thought of this literal inside baseball joke and no one wasn't a, yes, it's just how it went. In comedy. It seems even clearer that comes just from this coincidence was in the world, and you found it in its upon or it's a joke. They were couple of topics that had to do with noticing coincidences between different music. And I remembered that I had this document of that matches up with other music even if it's just for a Barra to, and this is the kind of stuff that makes me think I should forgive everyone who seems to be coughing and other musician. I one on the list is military madness by Graham Nash of Crosby Stills, Nash, and young and young. Thank you. He was another. He was Graham Nash of Nash. So he has a song code military madness that begins with the melody, Anna upstairs room in Blackpool in the upstairs room in Blackpool. And that sounds to me very much like the opening line of so fresh and so clean by outcasts. Body dope says me on. And you know that dude, dude, he just wasn't thinking of Graham Nash when they wrote well, maybe they were maybe I should level an accusation, but it really doesn't feel that way. It's also the kind of thing where I guess you never quite know to like there's do you know that story about George Harrison and his song, my sweet Lord where it may or may not have been subconsciously plagiarized, and he he ended up just admitting it. He was like, maybe I got it there. I don't know. Yeah. Well, it's it's never clear what the burden of proof is. What is what would it mean to do something subconsciously or a semi consciously? I listened to the songs. Yeah, they sound pretty similar. I wouldn't be surprised if he had heard that song and then unconsciously used the melody ticket. Compose the new one at the song. He's so fine by the chiffon in nineteen sixty three. And then George Harrison put out on his solo album. It was a song called my sweet Lord in one thousand nine hundred seventy. So you know, there's some. Close to each other in time and a few months after Harrison song came out the publisher of he's so fine sued and the judge found in nineteen seventy six. He does the judge said that Harrison subconsciously copied it no intention there, but he just probably heard it and it probably snuck in there and and what do you do? The brain is weird. That's that's quite a prank where you get sued and lose a case that that's a big one filling. It'd be legally pranked by anyone. There's also an interesting thing that I feel is very applicable to the song hilarity because Daniel Levin who we mentioned before he has a book called, this is your brain on music, and he says that one amazing thing. Our brains can do not only can they repeatedly enjoy these sort of things like the millennial loop the keep coming up. They're also very, very good at noticing when timber varieties lineup, and that helps us understand parody songs like our brains are when you think about it pretty impressive that they can easily connect a parody of a song to the original song or the original musician that's like pretty advanced work. Yeah, it there's a, there's a lot to ignore if you're going to just lock in on the things that's common between the parody and the original. And sometimes those qualities are really easy to define, but there's just a lot of them going on at once. So you can say, well, what's happening when weird Al right's parody song, he's taking. The melody and the rhythm, and maybe some of the like the phonetic structure of the original song. Yeah. And then writing something else that has a totally new meaning and says something else entirely on top of it. And those first three things are enough to guide you back to the reference and the music itself. The instrumentation, our brains also even go a step further with stuff like the lonely island jumps to mind. Like the song I'm on a boat is not quite a direct reference to anything. It's it's sort of a reference to the big pimp and music video for the Jay z. song, but it's not. It's not an aide to be like we took big pimp and put in new lyrics. It's just here's the general vibe of this John RIA and the overall like emotional tone to it, and somehow it's a specific parody of all of it because our brains are cool. There. Very neat. Yeah, you can go super abstract or you can go super concrete, and you recognize both as a reference to something about this music you know about in we've been doing at botany, both of those kinds of things. We have one approach to song generation that is mostly what we use for the song. Clarity where we take the words from one source in some words from another, and we write a song that fits in genre like or fits in a musical style, but isn't direct melody takeoff for Morrissey. So the Morris song is it sounds kinda Smith city. It's got really amazing production from these studio. Musicians studio meow meow in Seattle that they produced this song to sound exactly like the Smiths, but the words are about something else entirely there about this workout system as it's more as a singing about DVD and you can go. Like that where it's a kind of abstract style match or you can take a little song and then do what when we do algorithm McClay we called, we call this approach the weird algorithm of just taking the Milli of song and switching in new words that match phonetically in metrically, and that's a different way to go about it. That's amazing. I also, I feel like this stuff maybe makes us smarter too. It's like a positive prank. You know, like I actually, I have a friend who they have a story where they were a kid and they would prank their parents by their parents would ask them to clean their room, and they was sorta hide in their room and pretend to be refusing to do it, and then they would secretly be cleaning their room and that was the reveal that high did clean my room. I Gotcha. Which is a wonderful, positive prank. And with music there have been a few studies. There was one in twenty ten at northwestern where they found that they took. People who were expert musicians and people who had never played music and sort of scan them and study them and found that the people who had learned to play music were better at processing speech, and they were also less distracted by simple sounds around them when that happened. And so I don't know. That's music kind of tricking them into being better communicators and more present people. Amazing, great. It's a even-handed trickster music. It. Away from us and it gives, yeah, I like to think that music has been a positive trickster in my life. I like to think that by exposing myself to music. Lawrenson lessons along the way too. That's very sweet. I like that. 'cause yeah, it is. It's like there's the sort of broad emotional component to there's also a lot of stuff about music making us stronger and not just in a basic way. Well, like like Jamie when you work out, do you listen to music? I almost think of it as like, I don't listen to pop music very much. So when I'm at the gym, I should use this as a chance to to research the current state of pop and become cooler, figuring out what. What's popular right now. And I guess it's it's my wave, not falling completely out of touch, but I don't think it works. It's like Jim anthropology. Jim Musicology the music of the people who are at the gym. I do that with the TV's there sometimes too. Like I'll just see what people are watching, and I'll be like, okay, chip and Joanna Gaines are extremely popular. Now I know. Interesting, and I think subconsciously think now I should. I should make efforts to look a little more like these people are just saw on TV. And then as far as that music, you're listening to in the gym, there's all kinds of ways that music apparently helps us work out according to various studies for one thing. Just having a beat to work out to means you have less cognitive load of figuring out a beat to move your body at. You can just let that happen, which I think sounds pretty seems pretty intuitive hearing it. But it also is very, very good at decreasing, how much pain we feel another great, positive prank. Thank you, music, pushing it. Yeah, I wonder how that works. I, I noticed that a lot of the music at the gym has some seem around. They didn't think I was going to be able to. Do it, and now I'm fighting through and I'm stronger than ever before. And that seems very appropriate for the gym. That's like that's almost back to honor. Like I've found this specific cord for tristen fields, but but but the gym is doing it. This is going to be out of date by the time this is. But tonight in New York, we're doing a a weird algorithm Kariuki cover of eye of the tiger where we switch out. I have the tiger for new lyrics about college. Admissions essays seems tied together there as well. I know I suddenly intro, but folks in the footnotes, you can check out this stuff or at least the parts that are online so far. Great. There's also in terms of like music making paint easier or stress easier. There's one study that was reported in time magazine where they found that people were experimenting with letting patients here music when they were having unseated brain surgeries, so like you're awake, but you're anesthetized and your brain is being is having surgery happened to it, and they found that thing that happened more frequently with people. Listening to music is that they would be so calm that they just kind of fell asleep, which is a standing to me, like I know it's a long surgery. I know. You're just sitting there and not supposed to do anything but falling asleep from just being extremely calm while your brain is being operated on, maybe I just I'm not in the world of brain surgery enough, but that's astounding. It sounds like there's a few characters in this story that are trying to prank the human brain, and music is only one of them, but maybe music wins the day. I would not like to participate in this study. I'll let them let them poke around up there, man, what maybe they find something I would prefer. Not to do it. That was the that was the most polite way to turn down unnecessary brain surgery. That's great. Folks that is the episode for this week, my thanks Jamie brew for helping the pull together and pull apart all kinds of different songs. And that was very fun. I think to discover, especially that Graham Nash and outcast might be related. I now in my head, there's CS NY. Oh, right. That's what I want. I want that out there in the world and also just the drama that that'd be very fun. Here's something else dramatic for you. Our food notes are loaded with all kinds of cracked articles that we drew on today and other studies and researches. Well, also the song you, Larry, if you go to the song clarity dot com, you can contribute to their Kickstarter in exchange for a very fun. Very soon album of parody music. And Jamie mentioned a lot of the songs that they're doing that Morrissey one is particularly fun. I highly recommend listening to it. We will also footnote that previous episode where we had Jamie brew. L. O'Brian and Michael Frederickson from the team about Nick. And we talked about their fake Harry Potter chapter, which is just fantastic and lots of other things. They're doing that tied together humanity and automation into something super positive. I think we're scared of automation all the time. It's nice to find out that it can also be an artistic tool for comedy, and that's what we talk about. Their one other fun thing about Batna. They do live shows of automated comedy. You can see them September twenty. First in Chicago, you can see them October sixth in Seattle, and you can see them October nineteenth in San Francisco, join their mailing list to find out more. And when I say mailing list, I mean Email, why would I describe it? Like they're sending you letters. It's the future speaking live shows. We did one this past weekend, and that was so fun. I, I now feel like we did a better Emmys that only our friends in the audience know about, you will hear that show in the next few weeks in our feet. And thanks again to Dana Gould, Haley Mancini and Demi outage. We bay. For coming out and making that such a fun time, more info on more live shows of ours soon. And some more info on this show. Our theme music is Chicago. Falcon. By the Budo span, our episode was engineered by Devon Bryant and edited by Chris Sousa. If you love this episode, that is great. If you hate it, let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media, a space full of seemingly real people. Some of whom are bought s- some of those whom are comedy writers from bottleneck. It's turtles all the way down at this point just robot turtles, which would be fun anyway, you'll find my Twitter account at Alex Schmidt. I'm also on the wider internet at my website, Alex committee dot com. That's got my show dates my newsletter and more and I'm happy to say we will be back next week with more crack podcast about that. Talk to you them. This has been ear will production executive produced by Scotsman, Chris Bannon, and Colin Anderson for more information content, visit ear, wolf dot com. Hey, everybody here from the award winning podcast. Never not funny. Hey, if you haven't checked us out in a while or if you've never listened to us read a lot of phone over here with the great guest, including this gentleman, Mr. Conan O'Brien. What don't you like this week? Not up at all. Good for me at this stage in my life. My, I'm in my late thirties. Good. Line, could you look horrible of your third. I think that's what they're laughing at ridiculous thirty because you look like you're death's door. Like a gourd that's been riding. Yeah. So you've seen your all right? Yeah, I when I in the morning when I wake up and I look in the mirror, I think why hasn't someone thrown away that old Halloween, pumpkin. And you listen to that on the best of park cast on two thousand eighteen episode and a whole lot more of never not funny right here on air wolf or wherever you get your podcasts.

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The End-Of-The-World Mentality (And Why Thats Ridiculous)

The Cracked Podcast

1:18:18 hr | 1 year ago

The End-Of-The-World Mentality (And Why Thats Ridiculous)

"Hey, they're wonderful amazing listener. Do you have a website? Would you like to have one? Guess what? There's an easy fun way to do it. Turn your great idea into a reality with squarespace. They make it easier than ever to launch your passion project. Whether you're showcasing your work or selling products of any kind or just be an you on the internet. That platform that has such a twenty nine thousand nine thing. That's, that's my prediction is not going away. So use that internet to head to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch is the offer code crack to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Folks. Welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast podcast, all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt. And I'm the head of podcasting here cracked, I'm also known as Schmidt. The clam also known as Schmidt, e the champ, and I am also also going to talk to you about Harry s Truman, and the S doesn't stand for anything. I don't know if people know that it's just a letter, but he was a president of the United States. And I've been thinking about him a lot lately, partly because I'm reading an amazing biography of him by David McCullough, but also because his life span is instructive for all of us. And here's what I mean by that Harry Truman was born in eighteen eighty four in his lifetime. He would deal with an insane range of things that weren't even invented or around when he was born. He was he was born in, you know, horse and puck times basically. And by the time he was a grown adult person. He was the president of the United States. Those exists that, that was the thing. But he was. Dealing with whether or not to rollback communism, a philosophy that was not running any governments when he was born and whether to roll it back with the atomic bomb a science fiction weapon to someone from eighteen eighty four, and he had to decide whether or not to drop it on countries, sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn't. And I think his life is one of the most amazing examples of how we're all going to be alive, along time, of course, accidents happen or some tragic thing happens, but the vast majority of us are going to live many decades and because of that we're going to go from being born in one spot, and then having what feels like a Star Trek future happen to us as we go along. If you're born on a Missouri, firemen eighteen eighty four like Harry Truman, was your parents are not saying to themselves. I need to raise this boy properly, so he can drop an atom. Splitting bomb the correct way. It's not a thing that comes up not to imply. There is a correct way to do it. Let's let's not drop. Any bombs. But I think that leads us into today's topic for the episode. It is the end of the world mentality, and why that's ridiculous. And at one more time that topic is the end of the world mentality and why that's ridiculous. And my guess today rights for cracked and the New York Times bestseller list as David Wong. His true name is Jason Persian. And he has a fantastic new column that sparked this entire episode. I think we can just get you straight into it from there. And from my little Harry Truman parable, we all live a longtime and let's act like it. So please setback or sit with perfect posture, or do some like stretching or calisthenics or something anything that makes you healthier and happier. Let's do it. And here's this episode of the craft podcast with chasing Parchin. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you. Jason, thank you so much for this column. And, and a thing that I think is overall positive about the entire world and life on earth. I'm very excited about it. Yeah. And we've had previous episodes where we've actually talked about whether or not the world is getting better or life has getting better or whether or not society is on the verge of collapse. This is not that episode. This is specifically about the weird of fact that believing in the end of the world or just believing that things are always going to get worse. Has on you emotionally psychologically in your ability to live your life. Yes. The entire way, the mindset affects it, also, we're not a we're not very hippy dippy people, I would say, we don't think like oh, just think differently about the world and it'll magically make it better. No. Like your mindset, tangibly impacts it. And, and here's how that works. Here's everything about it. Yeah. As something that had used to come up a lot on the, the Jack podcast episodes, but before he abandoned us was the concept that humans aren't very good about thinking about the future. We our brains are not built for because as organisms, it's only very recently in our development that we've lived this along, like we used to be a primate that only lived whatever twenty five or thirty years. So the concept of like making long term decisions that's not something you had to do as a hunter gatherer so much. If you're in a climate, where the food is always there to be found the concept of okay? What's the food supply gonna look like twenty years from now? That didn't enter your brain. And there is no evolutionary advantage. Dj to long-term thinking. Right. Because if you lived long enough to if you survived long enough to reach sexual maturity, you could reproduce in that was it and the ones who sat around thinking. Yeah, but what's, what's the jungle going to look like fifty years from now there was no advantage in that for most of the time you have been around? So as a result, almost every societal problem, you see is based on this flaw that we always take watch feels good today or what tastes good today, or what's fun today over what is going to happen in the long term. It's, it's Uman nature. It's actually admirable that we do as well as we do it at trying to think of saving money or retiring, or whatever the type of pessimism, that's cool these days that we are all screwed regardless. I have very. Little respect for it. And I don't think of it as, like a form of realism or anything like that. I believe it is a coping mechanism to get out of having to think about the future because we have this instinct baked into us from thousands of years of not really needing to do that. And then we have all this information that says we probably should do that. And then boom, conflict in our brain. And then we do jokes like, I guess, sort of leads nicely off of thinking about the past and Volusia survival. There's Twitter account you found called sweet meteor. Oh, death. It's at SM OD for real. And it's it's Asia of humor where I think they're really kind of not kidding. Yeah. But it's also really common like they didn't invent the concept of the sweep Meteo death like there's bumper stickers for who you voted for foreign twenty twenty and I'm voting for the media as an I'm voting for the meteor that will cause planetary extinction. Yeah. And save us from all of this, and that's part of the genre of humor among the kids these days. As where the joke is like they'll be a web comic, and someone will threaten like it'll be a doctor telling them. Hey, if you don't give up cigarettes, you could die. And then the guys like, don't get my hopes up doc and the punchline, same every time that they want today that they would welcome it. So the great and terrible thing about humor is it sometimes is meant to signal that you don't believe thing like that's the whole purpose of shock value, and Umer is you're saying the most inappropriate thing possible. Of course, you know, believe because only a crazy person would. But sometimes it signals that we do believe anything, this is the whole issue at, like racist, or sexist jokes, where sometimes people make them because it's shocking. This is clearly inappropriate. That's why it's a joke is because it's an appropriate. But then if you actually pin them down and get their views on the things. You realize, oh, it's a joke. And also, they believe in those things. Same thing here. These jokes are very similar, if you have a friend, who's constantly joking about suicide, some people joke about that, because they have a dark sense of Uber some people joke about it, because it's something inside them that they're trying to let out like the guy who will talk to his crush, and joke about, hey, maybe we should get together wouldn't that be funny? Yeah. And they're putting it out there as a test to see how she reacts. And so when you see people on everywhere on social media, making jokes about, well, I'm rooting for the media. Just kill everyone rather than have to put up with another four years of this, or who cares about this thing because we're all screwed anyway. Some of the people are saying, because it's just the most inappropriate possible thing to say, but then you ask a lot of these people are get into a serious conversation with them about. Global warming or the future of society, and you realize, oh, no. They are actually rooting for the media, my so we're, we're talking more to that. Latter group. But here's the trick, lots of the people making these jokes. Don't know which group. They're in what do you mean? They don't know which group, they're in, like they themselves don't know what they're talking about, as in lots of times, we actually don't know where something is coming from when we make jokes about it. We make the joke because it feels good to make the joke. But if you actually sat down and examine their beliefs like we'll do you really believe this? You get to different answers from two different people making the same joke, and you get some people who will give you one answer. And then five years later, will give you another answer. And they've been making the same jokes the whole time some of the personalities I follow it on the internet, who in the last five years have disappeared down the alt-right whole, like people, I was fans of gaming personality, things like that. And they all started out like making jokes that were clearly just jokes like you know, how wouldn't it be funny? If, if I was actually one of these jerks, talking about Jews and all of that. And then a few years later, they are posting links on ironically to commentary, like say, no, the Jews do controlled the banks and they are engineering, the wars, and at some point in the course of making the same joke. They shifted from saying the most inappropriate thing possible to saying. No. This is. I'm now joking about it because this is what I actually believe and I wanna get those ideas out there and it's very similar here. I think that if you're constantly making like nihilistic jokes and references it can start by well, I'm just dark person, and it's, it's not polite to say these things. So that's the joke that is not plight. But then over time you kind of become the thing that you talk about the human brain is weird. That way it, you kind of reverse engineer your beliefs to the things that you're saying when we describe these jokes. I feel like we're also describing not incredibly advanced or high quality jokes like most most of them are just sort of everything should die. LL. It's making me think of the comedian Anthony Jessil, Nick, who has a new special out and his comedy persona. He's described it as Satan, he just jokes as the worst person. He could possibly be as his comedy persona commits murders. And, and violence and so on. But the jokes are so perfectly classically constructed that, you know, he's kidding. And like it clearly takes so much work to write them that well that he's kidding. I think basically everybody else on earth. It's not as clear and on this phenomenon that you're describing happens where they just start to inhabit the thing that they pretended to be well, and the other thing is you attract other people who respond to what you're saying in a certain way, and they reinforce it. Yeah. So if you're making the joke, some of the people laughing are laughing because they know it's inappropriate some are laughing because they agree, there have been comedians over time who have created a fake persona mitt to mock something only to have people like unrelentingly respond to it. And then they kind of had to either goal along with it or lose their fans eventually they just became the person that they were making fun of like the beastie. Boys. You know, fight for your right to party that was making fun of those party anthems. That was them making fun of the, the jerks that they knew growing up. And then they had all these high school kids like on. Ironically, like, yeah, I should be allowed to smoke in my bedroom. Song you guys are the coolest. And so they had like this crisis where they realized that their, their fans were all people, they hated we're prefacing all of this, this way because I'm worried that people will want to say you've devoted entire podcast. Just some dumb jokes. People are making what we're trying to stab wish that with dumb jokes. We're talking to the people whom these actually are affecting if you are a happy person you're confident in your future, you are saving for your retirement, your optimist about tomorrow. This episode probably does not help you unless you have friends who are not like this, and you almost certainly do that. When I do not want to do is let people think that we are grownups who don't recognize that the kids these days like to make dark Neolithic humor. The suicide rate is climbing in America, the rate of depression, substance abuse. Those things are all going up. So the symptoms of a. A populace that actually has lost confidence in the future are all there. So that's why I wanna talk about this. And that's why I wrote the article about it because I grew up in the eighties under the shadow of nuclear war, and I'm telling you, I'm forty four years old and never thought I would make it to forty four. When I was a kid. I did not know the future would arrive in this affected me in profound ways that I don't want another generation to repeat any describe it and some other articles and things as something that I guess kind of everyone around you bought into. And when we talk about these comedians getting positive feedback from pretending to be terrible people, I think today, anyone can get positive feedback on something like this message of the world's going to end like, we've got this tweet here by at based Tiberg, the tweet as I work at an escape room and a group of kids. Doing one asked what happens if we don't get out? I replied, you die instantly and the kids started yelling. Yes, and high fiving. Holy shit alma. Oh, and the tweet out over thirty eight thousand retweets for just a regular person telling a story where ha isn't it funny that even children believe, were all about to die. I don't know. It speaks to a lot of this kinda just expectation around around the world, and also people getting to be sort of rewarded socially for not even necessarily buying into it. But sharing it around spreading it around. I think if you are someone a little bit younger, and you're watching a movie like RoboCop or red dawn, one of these mid eighties movies, you know, any of the ones that are about, like a post, apocalypse, like escape from New York, it has to just come off as like the eighties Cold War era cheese like. Watching red dawn it, which, again, I don't even know if the kids today ever have any reason to watch that movie I don't even know if it's vailable on streaming, but, you know, this movie from nineteen Eighty-four about a Soviet invasion of the United States and a group of high school kids, who have to basically become insurgent, fighters and help defend America from the, the Russians until, like, finally, they successfully repelled the invasion, that has to seem, so corny now and like weird, but the context, but I saw this a nineteen eighty four when I was would have been eighty five when I would finally have seen it on cable, or whatever I would have been ten eleven years old and one hundred percent sure like this is my future. I'm going to have to fight the Russians whether I have to do here, or in Europe or somewhere, either there will be a nuclear war that kills us all or else, we will have to fight a land. The war against the Soviets, but there was no scenario by which it was not going to happen. The conventional wisdom. Was it is a matter of win it occurs. That's why modeled Reagan was elected was to be the wartime president, because we were going to have to fight the Russians the eighties or when it all came to a head. This is when the military spending reached its apex, like we broke the Bank on nuclear weapons and tanks and aircraft carriers and it was not preventative, it was belief that we were going to have to fight World War three. Very, very soon at the same time, I was raised in evangelical church, that was very big on the end of the world and the rapture, I'm sure this is not a coincidence. I don't doubt that these type of religions did better in this era, because it did seem like you know, this is the apocalypse coming. But in my childhood like on Sunday, I was taught that Christ is going to return and tear open the sky and, and kill everyone in, then bring the Christians into heaven after there's, there's an apocalyptic war that finally ends you, Mandy and the during the week on the nightly news, it was all about the arms race and the IMAX missile in all these little individual controversies in the Russians moving into Afghanistan, and Nicaragua, and all the things going on Central America. And then at school during the day, we would have the nuclear war drills where we would have to hide under our desks. Yeah. So the nuclear bomb doesn't harm you under your desk. The point is, is that as difficult as it is for an average person to think about the future. I know. Never thought about the future. Like it just wasn't even when I went away to college. Like picking a major things like that. It was kind of, like, what's the point? I it didn't. I was totally unprepared because it was all just I tried to imagine myself at age forty eight fifty and it was just nonsense. It was just shadows. I had been trained that the future was not a thing. There's an interesting phenomenon where Hollywood sort of tested, whether that specific Cold War enemy country. Fear is still a thing by remaking, red dawn, because they did a twenty twelve remake with big cast, like Chris Hemsworth was in it, and a lot of people, and they had to change it to a North Korean invasion, but it didn't even make its budget back, it was not a successful movie when it was kind of a defining movie of the eighties, like we now, have all these new fears that we think will end the world. But that one seems so tangible at the time, and then has since kind of melted away, I don't wanna have to make the separate side argument that. Oh, well that was always an over hyped thing. It wasn't. We came close to nuclear war multiple times. It, you know, tensions were very high. The missiles were real. They were pointed at us. It is for some reason, key to the American identity to believe that we're always under siege. Yeah. Even when we've achieved global hegemony, even when we basically have everything under our thumb control, global trade, everyone in every country has to speak English if they want to do business. We still have to believe it's the Alamo. We are surrounded by enemies. We played up the threat of ISIS this way that oh, gosh. Isis their goal is to take over the whole world. That means they're probably gonna do it. You know, we need to completely rebuild our entire society around preventing ISIS attacks. And right. This is pretty much. No, no more now. And they were never really a threat to. America. They were threat to do damage. They were at threat to go to parade and kill twenty seven people with van attack. There were not an existential threat to the country. But it was extremely important and is always extremely important that we believe we're under some sort of existential threat. I do not know if this is an American thing, some of you from other countries, I don't know if it's like this in France, but this is the way it is an American, it has to do with there are religious elements. There are mass media elements where an order to get people to read your newspaper or watch your news, or what your movie, you have to make it sound like there's some imminent danger. Right. So we kind of over hyped threats like Ebola, you know, something that is a disease that is dangerous in Congo, because they have very poor health care system, and it's very difficult for them to get proper care to people that was not threat to America, but it doesn't matter. We had to have that period twenty fourteen where every. Headline was like are your children going to die? It'd be bullet tomorrow. Click here to find out. In the answer was always know even in twenty twenty eight teen, we had almost like that way. You described the red dawn remake where it's North Korea. Somehow, invading us in in twenty teen. It was a caravan of starving migrants is coming, and that was somehow supposed to be fearful or scary like they were going to do something to us, even though they were starving and fleeing and every single in particular election for people's various reasons. There's that that new fear that always gets propped up. Yeah. Here's where I wanna make an important distinction. In most of these cases, they are building up a threat to motivate you to some kind of action, you have to come vote for me. Or donate to my campaign or else. The Central American refugees are going to come eat all of your food, or whatever the danger was supposed to be. They tried it from several angles that they could be bringing disease, or they could have ice in there, because after all, if three if just three ISIS members make it into America, America. So fragile will just collapse. Like we're on the brink of falling apart. That if there's just, you know, three bad guys in that caravan, that's it. This whole thing is, is gonna fall apart. They are trying to motivate you to do something. And when they exaggerate, the threat of crime, they are trying to motivate you to give them more power. They're using fear to get you to vote for them or to buy their product. You know, Alex Jones does his show, and then at every break, he's going to sell you some supplements that will fortify your body against the mind control Floride that's on the water or whatever threat. He has just, he's manufacturing a threat and then is selling you a cure or prophylactic for the. Threat. Right. What I'm saying is that the cumulation of all of that on the Uman brain gets you to a place where your not motivated to do anything because here's the other thing, all of those people in my church if you sat them down and ask them back in the eighties. Do you think the apocalypse is imminent, they would say, yes? And if you hook them up to a lie detector machine, it would show they're telling the truth. But they were not digging bomb shelters. They were not stocking canned goods or water filtration systems, or prepping they weren't actually taking any actions, and the people who are now on social media or on their podcasts on their YouTube channels talking about how the system is on the verge of collapse worldwide. How authoritarians are about to take over the economy's about to collapse or the environment is going to going to be sudden collapse in, in species extinction all that they're not doing anything as a response to that. They're turning off their camera after their YouTube flog has been recorded, and then they're going to go play a video game for four hours and then have dinner and go to bed. Their actions. Don't match the way you would be behaving. If you actually thought an actual emergency was was coming. They are instead, using it to establish a general mood that says, you can't do anything, it's almost like promoting a form of helplessness, because the whole theme is well, these corporations in these governments in these authoritarians like they have all the power, you can't do anything, and that's the end of the discussion. So the question of do they actually believe in collapsed? Do they actually believe the things that are about fall apart? The answer is it doesn't seem like it because they're not taking any actions the actions you actually take if you thought it was. They just believe it to the point of saying it and then making other people. Believe it at the same time, if you'd come back to me when I was, you know, when I was ten years old. I don't know if I consciously thought vividly like mapped out of my head, how would I handle a Soviet invasion of my country? I only was thinking in terms of there won't be a future. But not not so much that I would be dead. But just so much that none of this matters, and ultimately that is what Alex Jones or any of the people doing the same things. Alex Jones, does only from the left, ultimately, what they're selling is none of this matters, as seems particularly acute with maybe the, the doomsday problems of today, not that nuclear weapons, have gone away and not that people don't sell think, in some places that the book of revelation is going to happen, and there will be a beast and everything. But it seems like among the doomsday problems of today. It would be the environment is going to collapse. Maybe that there's too much social and income inequality to after most people to have the kind of families in life. They want to also maybe that our politics are too divided to not devolve into some kind of horrible. Civil war something I all all three of those. Things the environmental politics and Konomi, those all feel fixable, like they feel like something, we could do something about, I can't do anything about the book of revelation coming to pass. I think but the other things I it seems like they're things we could do things about an organized around. But it seems easier to say, well, the media will just resolve everything by extinguishing us, like the dinosaurs. But thank gets into the separation between how we talk about it, and how we behave because. Yeah, clearly, you can't influence whether or not immediately kills everyone. So what is the motivation to make that joke? Or what is the motivation of feel like you always have to be copying someone else's misery? And that's my assertion is that when we talk about people faking their lines for social media. We usually think, in terms of they're trying to like their Instagram makes us. He might they're always. On vacation or it makes it seem like their hobbies are there lightest prettier than ours? Like, you know, oh, I'm just relaxing, and they've got, like a picture of wine glass, next to a book and the book is always some respectable, but that only smart person would weed and eating some meal that is, is very dainty and something that a person would sophisticated taste with eat. That's the stereotype, the reality is at least in my social media bubble is that people are much more likely to exaggerate, how miserable, they are partly for eumerus effect on one hand. The joke is, of course, I'm not in mortal danger. My life is, you know, when the joke you make on social as I just had to wait in line for four hours at the DMV. I hope that North Korea launches a nuclear warhead destroys this entire city. So I won't have to wait here any. Longer. The joke is, of course, that this is a small problem that I've been inconvenienced for an afternoon. And I am overreacting to it by wishing that all million people in the city would be killed, so I don't have to wait in line any longer. But because that's the joke that everyone makes. And that's the attitude everyone is going for. It's kind of like the opposite of that thing where your depressed but you have to go to birthday party and kind of put on a smiley face. And you feel that pressure to perform being fine. It's almost opposite. There's a competition to pretend your more miserable than everyone else. And it's because it kind of gives you street cred, like it's not cool to just be happy, there is this thing where people feel like they have to elevate everything to apocalyptic levels, but they know is kind of a performance and I think some of the people who hear it notes performance, but I still feel like in general. It creates a mood of ore, right? Everything is miserable. Everything has always been miserable. We rooting for the media because none of this is worth is worth saving which to get there from it's frustrating to wait in line at the DMV is insanity. But that's still. How works this is all imitating from the most comfortable population in the history of the species. Many thanks to our friends at squarespace for helping us make this show a thing they get to listen to. And I get to do and, and they're really making everybody's last better. I think it's a good thing. But you know what else they do most of the time, they help people build websites, that is their deal. And whether you're looking to start a business or showcase your work published content sell products and so much more squarespace is the tool for you. The thing about cracks podcast listeners, I feel especially having met a bunch of them in the mid west recently. Is that they are amazing. They have all kinds of different interests and things they care about and things, they just want to know about or make part of our lives. So I know if you're cracked podcast, listener, there is a squarespace website for you. There is something you could build for yourself to either share who you are or connect with other people by bringing them their squarespace, has built in analytics that make it easy to tell who is coming to your website, and how often also squarespace sites are optimized for mobile, right? Out of the box. Everybody's using their phones. And tablets, and other devices like that, to use the internet. You are probably listening to the show on one of those phones, see, you know all about it. And if you build a squarespace website, it will be ready for your phone and everybody else's. So let's get you to it had to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code crack to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that space based dot com slash cracked offer code cracked. Columnists spark this originally. The title is five crucial things to remember about our wretched hell, scape, and clearly tongue in cheek because as you describe Bennett, and describe elsewhere, here, we are as humanity pretty much better off than we've ever been before. Obviously, everybody's mileage varies, but technology and resources and other things we have have just generally improved life for everyone. And no one wants to live in any other era available to us, if you had a time machine a not only that let's say you did a favor for a wizard. I always do so go on and in exchange. The wizard is like your reward for driving me to the airport, or what have you. It is. I will give you the option to be reborn. Not only be reborn in any other era, but as the wealthiest person in the country of that era. Right. So you can be reborn in eighteen fifty as the wealthiest person in America. No one would take it because it doesn't matter. The you're the wealthiest person eighteen fifty anesthetic still doesn't exist. Dentistry, dentistry is still a guy with a pair of pliers like in a filthy apron caked, with human mucus and blood just pulling the tooth that with a rusty pair of pliers. There's no such thing as air conditioning. You know, there's no such thing as indoor plumbing, there's no internet. There's no reliable phone takes months to cross to another. If you wanna visit another country you gotta do it by boat. There's not cures for common. Diseases were infections. You can die from a bad bout of diarrhea, like not only going to another era, but going to another era where you have infinite resources, people wouldn't do it, what we're saying is that the things you say about the end of the world and the things you see about longing for death or for the media to put an into all of this has nothing to do. Do with any kind of reality. My argument is that it is a company mechanism because we find it comforting, because it is scary to think about a future that you will actually be responsible for it is actually much easier to imagine that occurred will just fall down over the future. And then you won't have to worry about it anymore. My issue is that it is not a good coming mechanism. It feels better for a bunch of different reasons. Like I said, it, it makes you feel tough because you're living through the harshest of times, and your life is an adventure and you're braving, wretched, health gape. So it makes me sound better bit. It also means that anything that's like, well, what does the matter, we're all screwed anyway? That is a therefore, I don't have to do anything coping mechanism one. On of tweet for those of you out there who don't use Twitter in a really as terrible. It don't don't start. Yeah, don't start. Don't do it. But one genre viral tweet is when these sites like CNBC, or the Wall Street Journal, anyone who gets, like financial advice will, we'll give some sort of really out of touch financial advice always goes viral, it's always whole area and it's like, you know, financial advice for millennials instead of going to the Cayman Islands for vacation, try going somewhere in the United States. It's cheaper and then people will all yell at it or dunk on it as we say on the Twitter. Well, the most recent one of these ice law was a study that one of these the economists are one of these finance type publications put out there saying, did you know that most millennials have less than five hundred? Thousand dollars saved for retirement. Half a million dollars. And so everyone is yelling that like I don't I'm worried about making rent because I'm driving for Uber and lift because I don't know why I'm gonna make week to week. I'm worried about having enough money for Friday. Let alone can I retire at age sixty five? Do I have to wait until age sixty seven you know? And so any attempt to think about that to think about myself at age, sixty five or anything like that. I just can't. If you watch a movie about the apocalypse, if you watch a Terminator movie or whatever, that's what movie about billions of people dying. But that's a lot more fun. Then if you now watched a movie about a seventy year old Arnold Schwarzenegger having to plan for his retirement, but he has to keep working, even though he has dementia, and he's in chronic pain. You'd be like no, give me the apocalypse movie. This is depressing. Give me the thing where everyone dies. That's actually cool. This other things. Just sad is like, we'll know how can everyone dying in a big charred mass grave heck, in that be less depressing than, than this guy, who's made it to old age and had children and grandchildren. But it is we all much prefer the explosions. Yeah. It's just a it's a simpler narrative, it seems like an easier thing to do even getting into this part of the topic. You mentioned like that this apocalypse, sort of thing, frees us from the responsibility of experts Z. We just wanna be freed from responsibility in general. It's, it's just a, fundamental pain. But it's, it's also how everything works, and so, I guess, our fiction and our jokes. Let us kinda run away from that in our heads. And that part is not new the reason why, you know, westerns dominated how he would from when film was invented up until what the nineteen seventies. I don't know what the end of the western era was. Yeah. But yeah, people were obsessed obsessed with this. Era. The thing they were obsessed with was not the reality of moving out, west and then starving to death, or dying of dysentery. The thing that they were obsessed with was this mythology of we strike out into an empty stretch of land. They are no other people or at worst. There's like a small town with, like one bar and one Bank. And we have a very simple enemy, which is the, the evil the Indians, who are out to kill us, and we have to fight them and survive. And it is very, very straightforward. It is us the land the bad guys. That's it not bills, not retirement and banks and interest rates and Car Loans, and a million things and people yelling in your ear. It is all stripped away. And that is the one thing that the future is not going to. Give to you. Yeah, let's look future. One one very exciting thing about trying to imagine the future is we have all of the test cases of all of the past. They tried to imagine a future to you bring up just sort of thought experiment here for the listener to do at home. I asked people to kind of close your eyes. Imagine yourself thirty years from now. So the year twenty forty nine you have different schools. There are some people who do kind of think of like an optimistic Star Trek type future where things are much shinier on the cars cleaner, and that sort of thing in a lot of people. It's they assume it's some sort of hell scape that it's either a corporate distorted like Bladerunner where corporations or black mirror. I guess is a more current reference where corporations and technology, owns your brain, and they are oppressing and all sorts of creative, and increasingly awful ways. Or if you're picturing. Just everything on fire due to environmental collapse, or global warming or just, there's food shortages, and everyone starving. But what most people do in my circle? I it in the people I interact with they think about what the world looks like thirty years from now, rather than what they will be like. In terms of will you have gotten your depression under control? Will you have found a way to deal with your anxiety? Will you have gotten better at dealing with people? But you have all the things that are tripping you up. Now how we be doing with that and aside from your own goals, about your career and kids and all of that, just what will will you be like? And I think the response, a lot of people would have is well, what difference does that make when the whole world is falling apart? But that's the thing it makes all the difference. It's actually the only thing that matters because you have very limited ability to stop the world from falling apart, if you think that's what's going to happen. You have tremendous ability to determine what kind of person, you will be, and whether or not you will have defeated your personal demons by the time. Time. Twenty forty nine gets here twenty fifty nine or whatever you want to imagine. Because I am telling you someone who never thought the future would get here who are who thought that if the year twenty nineteen got here that it would be a post apocalypse that when you arrive and the apocalypse has not occurred in your in your mid forties. You will find in many ways past you kind of screwed current. You. Refusing to acknowledge that, that future was coming, but I am telling you your future is coming. And if we get the Star Trek utopia, and they have a machine that just makes the food out of thin air, and they have clean, infinite, clean energy. You can still wind up drinking yourself to death under a bridge somewhere. And I know that because people drink themselves to death under bridges right now, even though we are living in what would have looked like a Star Trek future to someone two hundred years ago. Own demons can still screw you over in a utopia. And here's the thing. If we are in for an environmental collapse of some kind, you'd better get your enzymes eighty under control now. Because it's not going to be easier to deal with your depression, or your fear of talking to people or you're in your lack of people skills or whatever screwing you up right now. That's not gonna get easier. If you have a future, where things are scarce, or more expensive or things are worse. All that means is that your margin for error is much slimmer than it is now. So if you truly thought we're all screwed in the way you usually mean it in terms of economic collapse, or whatever then actually means you need to work, even harder on self-improvement. If yours answer to that is well, why should I improve myself because we're all screwed. Anyway, you need to improve yourself, especially if we're all screwed. It's sort of under reported that there are and have been disasters or problem, sort of all of the time. And. In my opinion. There's three big ways. We kind of roll with them either we fix the problem. And then kind of forget, it was a problem. And that, that the world was going to end or we don't fix it. And just roll with it or just something lucky happens on it works at self out in all three of those cases, your still alive. You are still in the world. And like you say you need to you need to go ahead and be a person like you can't have this cinematic view of the future, where you're just seeing like whole cities, and some kind of, like establishing shot in a movie, you're, you're going to be the perspective, you see this future from, and you wanna do it from a, a healthy, happy body and a good situation. That's why we don't have to argue about whether or not the world is ending, right. The world doesn't end the whole mental concept of the credits rolling on civilization. That's not a thing that happens assigned from an actual meteor strike that causes the entire planet to go. Extinct. Yeah. You need to live your life, without the assumption that a planet killing asteroid is going to show up eight okay. You're ours are against you as she like, when that happens. Nobody is going to have even the time to stop and be like I should have been Lazier or like I should have eaten worse. Like it's like that benefit that I think people think they'll get out of out of living poorly is not is not a thing they'll enjoy. So whatever scenario you are worried is coming, even think is inevitable, whether it's global warming or that there will be some sort of automation customs for economic collapse. Any of the whatever apocalypse scenario is out there in every one of those cases, pretty much forty years from now fifty years from now there will still be bills to pay. There will still be banks. There will still be jobs in marriages and bosses in kids, people will still be making friends and falling in love and having babies. You will still have to go to birthday parties of people. You don't like and to attend weddings and attend funerals and go celebrate holidays with family members, you don't like all of this stuff will continue in the event of an environmental collapse, yield the worst case scenario as a world in which institutions become unrealizable food becomes more expensive. There's rationing if things, but society will still be here. You're not going to go from where we are now to where we are all just living in straw huts in the middle of the desert. You're, you're talking about more a great depression type thing you know, a lot of unemployment. But in every one of these phases in history when you look at anything from the black death to the middle ages anything World War, One in Europe that killed whatever percentage of Europe, it killed, all of these things, we think about the Pakalitha scenarios, which. Have happened multiple times. While they were going on people were still having to wake up in KOTA work and get stuck in traffic. The apocalypse is not going to relieve you. Those in fact, it will make them a little bit harder to deal with, because a lot of the things we depend on now to kind of act as our safety net whereas our buffer won't be there. I want to focus in particular on that environmental catastrophe, one, because, like we said, a true meteorological event, there's nothing you can do, but whether or not environmental collapses coming our way in the actual past and present. There are places specific spots where they experienced environmental collapse. And the way through it was not just doing, like lame jokes about about. Well, everything's dead. Who cares? It was people ended up just working harder and trying a lot harder, like, where I am right now Los Angeles. There was a day in July of nineteen forty-three, and we'll make an article about it. But the smog got so unprecedentedly bad in LA, and July twenty six nineteen forty-three that people in town thought it was a Japanese chemical attack. They thought it was an actual, like, part of World War, Two being done to them, but it was actually just the environment, and now I'm in town and, and I like my eyes aren't aren't weeping from all the terrible pollution. I can breathe and stuff is because people got out of bed, and they like worked on it, and try to fix it. We also link right now lately, the city of Cape Town, South Africa has had terrible water shortages and the reaction to it has been up on people working really hard to try to fix it. Obviously, in both those cases and other ones there are people who are part of the problem, but the people who are experiencing the situation are not just being like, well, that's it your reaction in that. Will be to work really hard and be tested as a person, so likely than saying just just giving up on things now is not going to be productive. When the shit actually hits the fan, you'll actually be trying really, really hard. Look. This is why we like to watch movies about disasters. We end the, the avengers having to fight off an alien invasion. That's wrecking New York to have that kind of a problem, where it's about survival. It's on a grand scale, and there's a clear threat. That's what Uman's are built for. That's why we fantasize about it. Yeah. What we're not built for is the death by thousand cuts that is modern society where there's a million little annoyances, and little, stressors and little deadlines. These little things that you are told you're supposed to be worried about the you can't fit into your brain. So that whenever the doctor says to you oh, be watching your cluster. All or oh, you're not saving enough for retirement, you just like roll your eyes and it's almost gives you a headache because it's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I'm I'm trying to make rent this week. I'm trying to keep my boyfriend from walking out on me and I'm trying to come to terms with my abusive parents, there's so much. None of it is, threatening your life for most of you listening to this. Most of you are not in mortal danger. It's all these little things all these little threats all of these little annoyances, each one taking a little bit more of a mental towline you until some of the people listening to this have really had to talk themselves out of swallowing a bottle of pills to escape it. If you take those same people and put them in a situation where it is a fight for life and death, or where they're in a actual battle, or warzone where they can sit down, and here's the enemy, here's you, you know what you have to do. Here's your instructions very clear. It is almost a relief or at least we expect it would be relief. And when it's a case, where you actually have a chance to go out and help your neighbors and do some good make a real difference really make a difference in instead of going to an office all day where you're typing stuff into a computer, and you have no idea what it even is or what it does. And your, your whole job is trying to save some corporation pennies from transactions that, that you won't get the benefit of, if instead of that you are trying to bring food to a hungry person. And they are thanking you and it's a crisis. And you we're all in this together. It is in those moments realize, oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like this is what solving problems is supposed to be where here's a person who needs help, and I'm doing it and it's something I can do, and they appreciate it. And we're all now here someone helping me and we're helping each other. It's like, oh, I am seeing a glimpse of what society is supposed to be like that. In order to get there. You'll almost have to strip away all of this other stuff. And unfortunately, it it's often until a disaster that, that we do that maybe that leads into a book. I read recently, it's called a paradise belt and held the extrordinary communities that arise in disaster. It's by Rebecca Solnit whose, whose an amazing, author will link bunch of stuff, but she did a book about many, many actual disasters of the last one hundred plus years. And the things she found is that contrary to I think some people's expectations. Whenever a major disaster happens by and large almost every time the people it happens to get down to an enormous amount of work helping each other and do a lot of things to try to save each other from it. She looks at several in there. I'm just gonna run through relatively fast. The San Francisco quake was in April of nineteen o six and it ended up destroying almost the entire city, partly because they did some firefighting attempts that actually made it worse, but local residents were pretty much all homeless, all of a sudden and people immediately set up impromptu, soup kitchens and housing and tense for each other local businesses, open their doors gave away all the food. They had and there was enormous efforts by the people in San Francisco to take care of each other as that happened. The psychologist William James was over at Stanford nearby or in California, he came by investigated. It and did kind of one of the first disaster studies of people, and he concluded quote human beings. Respond with initiative, orderliness and helpfulness. They remain calm and suffering, and loss are transformed when they are shared experiences, and quote, and that's him describing what happens in a disaster and her book finds that to be pretty common in disasters. You know, like the blitz of London in World War, Two and New York City and nine eleven and also disasters. Maybe don't know like the Mexico City earthquake in nineteen eighty five and also a large explosion in Halifax Nova Scotia in nineteen seventeen. Also, of course, you may know the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, the media, sort of misgoverned it as primarily looting looting is often incorrect word for people just getting food where they can find it when there is no more systems anymore because of a massive disaster. But if you look at any actual local end of the world, what people do is they work, extremely hard and push themselves to all of their limits to take care of each other. And so, like we've been saying, it seems like kind of a coping mechanism. For those little day-to-day troubles. We all get stressed out by don't want to deal with and Jason you captured beautifully how painful that can be the relief from that of a disaster is just gonna be lots of very different work. That may be, you know, Evelyn psychology is a little bit fuzzy. But maybe our long ago, ancestors were built to deal with it, and we'd like it to, but it's not just going to suddenly be some sort of easy world that we all find a very low effort. Well, I can prove that our ancestors had this kind of response because we're here, right? The species revived this is what is frustrated me. About genres of show like the Walking Dead where the premises. Well, once -ociety classes, it's every man for himself, and, you know, everyone will just be murderous in backstabbers things will just keep getting worse. And worse and worse. Every time someone will try to set up a society. It will inevitably collapse, under the worst impulses of mankind because that's what always happens. That's hilarious to me. Because if you think this, what always happens. How do you think society got here? Right. Do you think Uman's parachuted down onto a planet where all these cities were already built and all these governments in infrastructure already in place? And then we slowly ruined it. Here's what happened. We moved into areas that were dominated by wolves things were much more dangerous than zombies. And we slowly tamed it. And built roads and buildings and doctors offices, and had families and made safe places where we could grow food and, and be sheltered from the weather, and we have tamed it so hard that we've now kind of gone too far. We've we've now paved over everything. And, and now all of those mortal dangers are gone, and none of us hardly are in danger of being eaten by a mountain lion or something coming into our bedroom. A danger that was ever present for virtually our entire existence until very recently, and now we've dominated these predators so hard that we have to be careful that we've not wiped them out entirely because we are so overboard in how prosperous we are breeding are breeding so far out of control and have built such grand cities and homes for ourselves that it's wiping out. Everything else, this earth was trying to render you Mandy extinct from the moment, we appeared here and was trying to kill us off through disease and climate changes in natural disasters. And everything else I inherent flaws and us with tribalism the causes us to. Kill each other. And we overcame all of that so hard that it's like if you scored so many points in a football game that the cops had to like, come and make you stop. That's where we are now we've dunked over nature so hard that we shattered the backboard humans as disgusting as they are, are a hero ick species. We are here able to talk to you using technological marvels because of the X of billions of heroes, who survived very long odds to get us here to build the roads that you drive on into live under the governments in the systems that you depend on to keep you safe that these heroes who came in the past who made these extremely comfortable lives. We have comparatively to what they had in the past. And yes, when there's a disaster, the heroism comes through, and if there was as ambi- apocalypse, we would tame, it very quickly, and we would have society rebuilt in about thirty to fifty years in a real Walking Dead scenario, we have real life, examples all over the place that there is initial confusion, and there's an adjustment period, but pretty quickly people reestablished trade, they reestablished laws. They reestablished rules because everyone benefits from those things, the people who have various skills we get them back to work doing the thing. They're good at in. Get it processed on place, but I wish they can share their knowledge with other people so other people can have those skills all the things we did to get here in the first place. So that there's a, a society for the as to topple, we would put it right back. That's how it got here on the first place, those structures have been knocked down over and over. We have rebuilt. Them every time that we do this end of the world fair, we've been talking about. Maybe do you wanna talk about that pulled on enough ghanistan? Yeah. There was in two thousand eleven on the tenth anniversary of the nine eleven attacks and win America was, of course, still in Afghanistan. And it is still there. Now they did a poll and found that ninety two percent of the locals in Afghanistan had never heard of the nine eleven attacks ninety two percent ninety two percent had no idea what it was. So they had no context for why the Americans were even there Afghanistan is less country and more, a poll bunch of remote villages, and tribes and people I bring that up because that seems unthinkable live in two thousand eleven in a world win. We are all so connected that there's a good chunk of the planet that is still not a even if they have the internet. It's not the same. 'access we have, or they don't have televisions. Or whatever the way they were living is the way Uman's lived for ninety nine percent of our history, which is a heavy to worry about worldwide events. If that's a part of the daily thing you have to worry about that's brand new once upon a time you could kind of decide how much news you wanted to consume like very worldly person in eighteen sixty five absolutely get the right newspapers, if they wanted to and they could read about the events of Europe or read, what Napoleon was doing if they so chose. But if someone wanted to live their life, never knowing who Napoleon was, they could do that to as time has gone on in the eighties. You know, yet, the invention of the twenty four hour news cycle, people know, realize, CNN news. That's just on all the time that just happened in my. Alive. Time now the news comes into your pocket. This is new and as much as I said as the human brain struggles to think about how to plan for the future and how we are kind of not dealt for that. Not only on an evolutionary scale are we not acquit to take on all of the problems of the world. I as a human being who was born in an era, when we didn't have to do that. It's the same brain, forget about have Aleutian, right? I was born in an era when for the first several years of my life. This was not thing. We had to do like, you know in school. We knew the basics that the Soviets were evil that the there was the threat of nuclear war. The could not have told you anything about what was going on in Japan or China or so, now, when you have to keep up with every celebrity scandal, every celebrity outrage every outrageous thing, someone has said in, you need to devote energy to worry about that, that there's been a crackdown on women in Iran, or the Saudi Arabia's about to execute a person for being an atheist. All these things that are important in the real and have tremendous impact on millions of lives. I can't argue you should ignore them. But your brain is not physically capable of carrying about all of it. It's not. And so what happens when you try? Try is eventually, you will have the impulse to say what's the point that causing effect does seem really clear. Yeah, that eventually, you're overloaded with so much information that you both don't care and start doing the bits about, well, SUNA meteor will strike Saudi Arabia and around in every country. So who cares who needs it? And maybe the takeaway. And the thing for people to do in their lives to manage this is to not take their foot off the gas pedal of working on their own life, and living and, and making themselves the best person they can be and the happiest person that can be that's really all I have to offer because. Ultimately information is only helpful to you, if you use it, motivate some kind of action, if the information motivates you to inaction then it's useless. So I'm not saying stop worrying about the world. I'm saying you have to think in terms of how does this affect what I do next. What do you want me to, to do? It's kind of, like if you're with a friend, and your outside, and they just keep complaining about how hot it is. An eventual you like okay, do you want to go back home? What would you want me to do? I can't turn the son off, you keep telling me your hot. I can't do anything about that. It becomes sort of like that. Are you asking me to take some sort of action as a company, I need to boycott? Is there something I need to do in a perfect world? You would be looking at the information that's coming in, and saying, how does this affect how I live my life. Ultimately the answer is going to be the same. I have to turn myself into the type of person who can handle all of this. I have to be the type of person who, if I'm still alive, sixty years from now, if you're listening to this, and your twenty five there's a great chance, you'll still be alive at age one hundred five that you'll live to see the year twenty one hundred something that seems unthinkable really come to terms with the fact that, that is much much, much more likely than the media of death in. So if you knew for sure you were going to live that long. You take a lot of steps to say, okay, I've got to take care of myself. I've got to take care of my mental health. I've got to take care of my teeth. They've got to ask me all this time. I've got to take care of my relationships. I've got a train myself to do something that will still be useful to the world forty years. Now that a lot of the self improvement stuff, it's not necessarily selfish just just saying, look the future is coming, and you do not want to be in a position where you're old, and you hate the young version of you for not preparing yourself for the, the future that turned up because we're in this mess with the environment and with everything because we did have generations of people who didn't think about the future. They did to you what you're about to do to yourself, which is they looked in the future and said, what difference does it make? I'm just going to go ahead and drive this car, or do or put this into the waterways, or whatever, whatever was easiest in what was easiest was dumping the pollution of the river and burning CO two and burning coal, but you are doing virtue that to yourself. F- if when you think, in terms of what should I be doing for my career for my marriage for my future family? And if you come back and say, we'll what's the point because we've got this global warming. We'll guess that's how we got global warming right, people that look that looked into the future, and they could not conceptualize it as a real thing. Do you want to be better than them? This is how you do it. And I'm not talking about going out and changing the world. I'm saying just changing you because regardless of whether or not we defeat these problems or how will we adapt to them. The one thing that will be uncommon about all of your possible futures is that you will be there in all of your baggage, and all of that stuff will be there. So regardless of what's coming your task is the same, which is, you've got to get your stuff in order in B, M, be ready. For it, and anything that you hear anything you say any motive thinking that motivates you to stay in bed. Instead is poison by definition that I shouldn't even have to argue that it's automatically poison as seems right to me baked into all that. There's the good news of, you know unless some accident happens or something we all get to be alive for the future. You know, however many years out that is, I think that's interesting. That's like kind of fantasy for a lot of people like what if I was in Star Trek or got to go to the moon or something, we'll get to be in the future? We'll get to see. That's pretty cool to me. That's alternately, who were talking to because the future is worth being there for, I'm telling you someone who wasn't angsty kid into the press teenager. And as always kind of had that dark mindset having shown up, I'm very glad that I stuck around for the future. My parents were born right around the end of World War Two. How easy would it have been for my grandparents to said while who would wanna bring a child into this world? We just had Hitler destroy all of Europe and apocalyptic weapons have been, but they didn't say that they brought kids into the world in the mid seventies in the middle at the end of Vietnam and the Cold War. They brought a kid into the world and I'm glad they did ultimately being alive is better. No matter what comes still. The episode for this week. My thanks to Jason purging for exploring the apocalypse with me, and I think partly debunking the idea that the apocalypse is a thing that happens. There are bad things that happen at various times, and then people work through them, because that's what humanity has always done. Why don't you be ready to pitch in? I think that's a good thing. And speaking of pitching in, in our food, Newt's, you will find all of the things that contributed to this idea that we talked about today, the key. When is Jason's column that sparked the show. It is called five crucial things to remember about our wretched. Hell scape, you'll find at that linked to crack dot com and obviously tongue in cheek title. We are not in a wretched health scape. I'm in a very nice studio right now. And I hope you're someplace with air conditioning or are airfresheners just a good air. I guess is my main point. Also, if you wanna dive airy deeply into something we touched on the episode of bit, you'll find a link to that Rebecca Solnit book I mentioned. It's from. Twenty ten the book is called a paradise built in how the extrordinary communities that arise in disaster. It's an incredible piece of work. There are far too many inspiring stories of people in it for us to talk about on the show. We couldn't cover nearly all of them, but her main thing is incredibly inspiring, for instance, she looks at the blitz that bombed London and World War, Two the Nazis bombing it, and finds that, that was a case of ordinary people taking care of each other, and extraordinary ways, and also argues that, that situation that very, very special blitz that we all think of as, oh, this was England's darkest hour, but then just magic happened. She argues very convincingly that what actually happened is people did what they always do in a disaster. We take care of each other. The very best we can just one other amazing story in the book to pick out this is from New York City's reaction to nine eleven. There was a man named Tobin James Mueller, and here's him describing what happened to himself, quote. I began as one guy behind a table of coffee and donuts stationed on the sidewalk alongside a temporary ambulance dispatch. Mobile home unit after three days time. I find myself the coordinator of an army of two hundred volunteers who have transformed the entire pier. Fifty nine warehouse into a makeshift many mall for rescue workers on break. In addition, we Steph, thriving deli sized food station that feeds hundreds of firemen, and ambulance personnel along the west side, highway, we stock an amateur distribution center that fills police harbor boat every twenty minutes with respiratory masks goggles medicine. Clothes shovels, food and anything else we can find destined for the Hudson river side of the World Trade Center, and quote, I know that was sort of a rapid fire description of his experience. But that is surprisingly common disasters, regular people will find themselves doing an enormous amount of work and care, and to take care of each other, and you don't need to, like, constantly be vigilant of disasters in order to do that. Just be the the best biggest happy. Person, you can be because we'll all be around a long time and around in a lot of stuff, one other book, will also Lincoln, the food notes. Because I o discovery of that Solnit book to it. There's a great new book by Jenny Odell called how to do nothing. Resisting the attention economy, and she wanted me to that Rebecca Solnit book. But also, it's an excellent text on frameworks and mental approaches. We can do to be overwhelmed, less by all the information out there. You don't need to stop consuming completely unplug. They're just maybe ways to manage your intake of stories, and events going on in the world that it is not helping you to linger on all of the time between Jason and Rebecca Solnit and Jenny Dell authors all the way down this episode. It's very fun to me and beyond that episodes about to launch into Chicago falcon by the Budo span, that is our show's theme music, this episode was engineered by Sam Kiefer and edited by Chris Sousa, if you love this episode that's great. And I have a request, please lever of you on apple podcasts or Stitcher. Or wherever you listen to shows, it takes less than a minute, and it's free. And it's it's sort of an automatic way to present. This show to more people. You don't need to go like Email everyone, you know, or something, but positive reviews, raise it up and those algorithms on those platforms, and then more people know about it, and it'd be a huge favor. I'd really appreciate it also counterfactual. Maybe you hated this episode. Well, then let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media a space where there is good news. If you know where to look for it might Twitter account is at Alex Midi, my Instagram is Alex Smith, sa- Graham, and among the wider internet at my website. Alex Schmidt dot com. It has my free fun. Email newsletter of just things you'll enjoy, maybe that's a positive for you. And I'm here to say we will be back next week with more cracked podcast Saha about that talk to you, then. 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The Creepiest Hidden Truths Behind The Origins Of Monsters

The Cracked Podcast

1:17:15 hr | 2 years ago

The Creepiest Hidden Truths Behind The Origins Of Monsters

"Support for today's show comes from squarespace because they make it easier than ever to be on line. You will have a website that lets you launch your passion project. Showcase. Your work sell products. Are just be you on the internet where everything happens now because it's the future you'll have a beautiful website with twenty four seven support from their award winning team. So had to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial of at great situation. And when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with all the stresses of life. It can be easy to lose perspective on what really matters. But Heineken believes that life is about being with friends and opening yourself to new experiences because when you live spontaneously and embraced the unexpected. It's a chance to create new stories and connections. You just have to be open to it. So enjoy a refreshingly cold full-bodied Heineken lager today with its deep golden color, light, fruity, aroma, mild, bitter, taste and a crisp clean finish. Cheers. Taylor foltz. Welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast podcasts all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt. I'm also known as Schmidt e the clam also known as Schmidt e the champ. And I am also also getting you straight to today's episode with one of my favorite guests and probably one of yours. Jason Persian rights for cracked Ammon York Times bestseller list as David Wong. He's also written a new cracked column called the creepiest true story I've ever heard. I've not been goofy with the title. There's a question Mark after the true trying to perform it, you know, give you the full experience. So the creepiest true story I've ever heard. We will of course, food Newt that and I am being fun with how I say that word point is our topic is these apprising origins of monsters, and it's specific to our brains and our world there's so much meat here. We've got mythology psychology, my favorite subject history and terrifying true stories, so get ready for a spooky time. Please sit back or sit staring out your window in case the one. Kind of alien or one kind of dragon comes it'll L make sense when you hear the show, and here's that show with Jason Parchin. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you them. And we're talking today about the surprising, cultural and psychological origins of monsters. And and as we prep this you put together really fascinating thought experiments kind of get us in. Yes. Because this is my favorite subject as people know, and I just mean horror stuff because I write horror as my second job. I mean, the evolutionary origins of monsters, the fact that the human brain is built to believe in monsters and to react to them in a certain way, and as ULA too. I have this thought experiment that I give to people I could, you know, hook you up to a device that measures like your emotional and physical reaction to things. So I mean, let's say you sit down as your morning routine with your newspaper to catch up on the news as everyone does these days with your your spouses. Making breakfast. And so you read in the newspaper first scenario, you read that fifty people have died in a church and a small town that you've never heard of due to. Let's say a tornado or an accidental fire something like that. I think that our monitor's of your physical reaction to that news would be a right around a three and that is very sad. It's clearly a tragedy. Fifty people are dead for no reason. But I think you would also completely forget about it by say lunchtime rally three out of ten and he said either either a tornado, which is I guess we call it an act of God, I think that is the official insurance phrasing or some kind of faulty wiring other just human error. Yeah. Basically, there's nobody to blame as the point. It's just something to happen. But the people are still dead scenario to same small town. Same church. Same fifty people are dead this time, it's because a group of ISIS terrorists came and riddled the building with machine gunfire and threw grenades and all that same number of dead. But I think they're emotional reaction to that would be somewhere around eight. And in fact, I think that would dominate your thoughts for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week. And I think that every church nationwide would go on lockdown and start changing policies doing things like watch out for the ISIS threat, particularly now with I think like you imagine the reaction from President Trump because this is a Trump episode like this would be the dominant talking point from now until the election, right? Like, you know, he would be making a visit to the scene again same debts. The danger to the average person is. Actually lower because the typically far more people are killed by tornadoes or structure fires by caused by faulty wiring than are killed by ISIS, but suddenly the rank as much stronger just because you have someone to blame scenario three in the final one the same. Fifty people were killed and same small town church because a tentacle creature emerged from a portal in space time entered our dimension in tore those people to shreds on camera before disappearing back into the rift into its own universe. I'm thinking that would probably register about ten, and in fact, if that monster came out in only killed one person or even just mildly injured five people, I think that would hit you harder than even the. The ISIS attack. And in fact, I think that would actually dominate the new cycle for a really long time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Even though the danger level is the lowest of the three that has literally never happened before in made literally never happen again. The odds of it happening to you are microscopic, the yet, the emotional gut level impact, it would have is off the charts compared to the other two scenarios these scenarios in your reaction escalate, according to not the danger to you not the logical danger you and your family, but according to how monstrous they injuries whether or not their intention behind the damage, and how strange and outlandish the cause of it is that is why we need monsters, and that's what we're going to dig into. Because that's not a logical reaction. There's no reason why in terms of how you would change. Your everyday life. And why one should impact you more than the other? But there's no question that it does. Yes, true becomes more monstrous, and and even less human in a way like that burst one where it could just be faulty wiring. It's caused by an electric, and then the terrorists are caused by the enemy, and then the tentacle monster is is the least human of all right? And this is one reason why we react so much stronger to a mass shooting that has something weird about it. Like, for instance, if a guy dressed up in a strange costume and shop people in a movie theater versus if you follow news on Twitter, and you see that there's word of a mass shooting and everyone is about ready to jump on. Like, oh my gosh. It's another one. But then there's a follow up story. That's like, oh, never mind. It was a gang shooting in Miami. It was a couple of same. Oh, same number of dead. Don't worry. This is not one of those like, drew. Matic shootings. This is just a routine again again shooting a drive by or whatever. And there was like. Ooh. Okay. Thank thank God. It's a little bit like that. There's a biased toward the dramatic the monstrous the inexplicable, whereas we feel like, well, you know, gang members just shoot each other. You know that just happens, and we sort of kind of like write it off. But it really is a fundamental flaw in the way, we process news and events in danger as we move along you'll start to see how this impacts everything. In terms of how we look at politics. Everything this extra thing that's might be slightly tangential, but it's not even just a gun thing. Like there have been the reason phenomenon of like van attacks or like someone driving a vehicle as a weapon, you know. And then immediately after I feel like the first thing reporters trying to figure out is was it on purpose or not even though it's the exact same. Same vehicular damage in Daf. You know, as it's we're we're super curious about that motive, that's a great example. Because you probably if you hang around on Twitter, you probably saw that same curve of van runs into crowd at whatever market marketplace or event in everyone's waiting to hear was this ISIS or was this an elderly person who? Yeah, had a stroke behind the wheel of their fan. And again, the exact same damage same photo same tragedy. But the difference between will the president go on TV and condemn like the idea of the president saying, look, the elderly should not be allowed to rent vehicles of this size. Like, they should be required. If you have health problems that make it, you know, so that you probably shouldn't be driving. You should be tested again. But the level of outrage just isn't there, even though it's the exact same damage, and in fact, you know, again, as an example. Earlier it could be far more common. If for instance, it was just a drunk driving accident. Well, well, gosh, the number of deaths from drunk driving as compared to van attacks. From terror is ludicrous the difference. But that's boring and the human brain seeks novelty. We want to be killed by something weird. And we want to we don't want to worry about the boring stuff like heart disease or alcoholism or just failing brakes because moving vans. They don't inspect them off enough or whatever. Like, no, it's we need a story. Yeah. That phrase we want to be killed by something weird that explains like every movie ever made right like action movies horror movies, a disaster movies, just everything that basically explains the hook. This is a subject we've come back to a few times on the site and one of my favorite examples of like the evolutionary origin of monsters in how like weird. Specific they are as always we'll linked us on our footnotes. But we had an article pointing out that dragons are universal across cultures that never contacted each other that dragons as far as like studying the history of their appearance they independently turn up in Australia, Greece, Scotland, Italy, Japan Korea, many other cultures. No, one knows why we have a theory that we cite an anthropologist named David e Jones who says that you can come out of the womb afraid of certain things because we have naturally selected for that fear. Because obviously the people who were not fade of those things did not have a chance to reproduce. They got eaten. So his theory was that dragons fit an archetype of like a lot of things that you know, primates would be afraid of large predators things that can fly like birds of prey. Way things have scales. Like, snakes and pythons all of these humans spread out across the globe. All these cultures developed independently. Because of how the human brain is built we independently built this mental image of this creature that turns up in the bible that turns up all sorts of mythology. And there are a lot of monster miss like that. But I think that to me is like almost the weirdest example because dragon or they're all like strangely. Similar to each other different versions of them. I mean, yeah. Like, we're gonna footnote a Smithsonian article where David Jones the anthropologists theory about this. As an also he brings up a few other like possible theories. One of them has maybe Nile crocodiles used to have a much much wider range, and I don't know that all seems much less likely than just there's something about humans and human psychology. That makes us think that's going to be a thing. I don't think there's like a couple of. Really, well, traveled crocodiles. Well, right. And you know, it you see it in other animals too because one of the areas about why cats hiss as a way to like scare off, you know, and they're not the only ones who do it. But that they are mimicking snakes. And that every like every mammal is afraid of snakes even ones that are from parts of the world where they never would have seen a snake? The it doesn't matter. I is sort of the same thing with like, why do nails on a chalkboard? 'cause the hairs to stand up on on the back of your neck. You can't say, well, maybe when I was a child like I had a mean teacher who did that. And then they smacked me. No, you were born afraid of that sound you were born to hate that sound, and there's all sorts of theories that I've heard over time that it sounds like a predator or sounds like like 'cause on on the floor of a cave. It doesn't matter. The ideas that you we have natch. Really selected for that fear because the ones who had that fear survived in. So sounds like voodoo because it's like, well, how would memory of something happened your ancestor get passed down genetically over generations that no one argues did it that it happens all all creatures are born with fears. This just that everyone accepts that. Like, I think most creatures are born like their fate or fire from the first time they see fire. They don't have to be taught. But it's one thing to say, you're naturally born afraid of certain things, it's another thing to say, you're naturally born afraid of dragons. Even though you've never they don't exist. Like, that's the thing. There's no such thing as a dragon. It's so this is what I find fascinating. And I don't think people realize how universal these are like I think what they like another examples from the site this from a column I wrote, but I mentioned that lots and lots of cultures have some version of the werewolf, and it would be easy to say. Well, of course, there have been many many movies about where wolves there have been many stories about them. They've they've swept all around the world. But there are cave drawings. Going back like fifteen thousand years the depict humans transforming into animals in the turning back. Like that myth predates the written word, and what you find is that what the werewolf transforms into. It's not a war. Wolf it's wolves in Europe because wolf attacks to become a bit. Basically, they transform into whatever is like the most dangerous animal in the area in Central America. They have wear Jaguars than in central Asia. They have where bears and and so on in that article my premise was that going back to the scenario at the beginning like having someone to blame for the tragedy seems really important to us. And then having something that is as alien from us as possible to blame is also important, it feels like you had these people living in an area when wolf attacks were extremely common were a real danger in the that wasn't enough. They had a need to point to the weird perhaps hairiest guy the village and say I saw him turn into a wolf. He's the one that eight our children. Because you can't get revenge on a wolf, even though I realized there was a Liam Neeson movie in which that occurred right where it's like you can identify the one wolf and then go after it like that's not a thing. And you can't really get mad at the wolf. So there was a need to put a human face on that wolf attack into punish someone for it. Because where wolves accused where roles were absolutely put on trial and killed in Europe the same as which is the same as accused vampires. Like, this was the thing that has persisted in some parts of the world persists persis- until today. The pick out the weird person and say, hey, they are the one who they turn into an animal, and then they turn into a bear and attack the villager they turned into a tiger an attack the village that to me is extremely important to understand that. Yes, we all have dragons. But even more. Universal will have scapegoats. Maybe there's an element to of like speaking of how they're certain psychological things that we all just have like it feels so good to resolve fear even just on the garden variety level of like you thought you'd get a parking ticket. You get back to your car. You didn't hurry. You know, it seems like it'd be so easy for so many cultures to say, I have resolved the fear of wolf attacks by killing this like the I like that. It's the hairiest guy in the village. He's probably just like shaving his back. Like here, we go again, like another one of these you say that it's resolving fear. But a lot of what we call Justice like into science. It's only that it's just been able to get even somehow you can call a revenge, you can call whatever. But it's clearly something that because in order to make a tribe function. You have to have that you have to have the. Ability to resolve injustices and to settle scores and make things right? But then when you're the victim of something that you can't get Justice on that. You cannot put the wall on trial that you cannot put the tornado on trial. We still try in. This is where when you open up a bible, you know, these storms are judgments from God. And to this day, you'll hear televangelists saying that that that the hurricane hit that city because that said he is a center of depravity because they want to believe that even this completely random convergence of forces in nature of wind and air pressure. No, this was also Justice. This was God trying to balance the books for something. We must have done wrong. We want that to be true about the world. But man at turns ugly, really fast. And and that example, you bring up as. So incisive too. Because not only is it it's across cultures and ecosystems. But it's narrative Lee the same like you say there are those where wolves in Europe where Jaguars and Central America where bears in central Asia. But the narrative is still the moon, or a particular thing turns this person into the thing rall afraid of the full moon thing is something that goes back. You know, because the deal idea that the moon drives people mad, and you know, the word lunar in the word lunatic. That's where that comes from like they're trying to tie in mental illness to again that this is you being possessed by something this is you being corrupted by something your animal nature has taken over again turning into some sort of a moral judgment. Yeah. I think I think that's what I thought where we'll stories were on a metaphorical level with some kind of just pre the science of psychology attempts to explain or capture turn into a metaphor. Mental illness. It's it's not a good metaphor. No, one should use it. But before the relatively recent advances in brain science. I felt like that was what cultures trying to do. Sure. And it turns it into something that can be understood and controlled. Whereas like even now now that we kind of know the origins of it. We certainly don't understand it. We certainly can't care it very well. But it had to felt good to like this explanation. They got bitten by a wolf. And now the only way to fix it is to kill them that takes us into which is obviously the most famous version of this in here with the witches. This is where you realize the politics come into play because this is where we will start to talk about how useful the existence of monsters is to those in power. So the origins of which is again predates the written word as far as I can tell all. So universal, you know, they have witch-hunts today and parts of Africa. This is not something that has gone away. But the myth of the witch or the hag or the krone it's always usually like an an older woman. But it usually combines two things a need to scapegoat disease outbreaks or crop failures. Which is those were always the things which is were accused of doing that. They had cursed the crops or they had cursed like like some infection. That was spreading. This was a curse put on them by local witch. And then the second thing is the fact that elderly childless women are just easy targets if you want a scapegoat somebody because they have no males in their life to defend them. They don't have a son. They don't have a husband. They don't have that person who can be there to stand up for them. So if you want to put the blame on somebody why? Why not like that blame kind of just rolls downhill to the most defenceless person. Right. And that is true in all times in all places. Yeah. It was. It was also probably easy to tag on the evidence of they frown at somebody funny. One time because kind of everybody frowns at everybody once in a while, you know, it was it was probably very easy fake evidence to put together. Yeah. And you've like you've done entire videos about the Salem witch trials, right? Yeah. I did we're doing a YouTube series at one point called hilarious helmet history. And I did not wear a helmet. I wore a witch hat. But yeah, the Salem trials are as something that we have that American cultural perception of and there's been Arthur Miller plays about them. But they also were sort of one footnote within a much much larger history of in particular, North America and Europe, just constant which trials in the fifteen hundreds into the late sixteen hundreds and almost all of them were result of basically. Something terrible happens socially in that era. Often a war that killed a lot of people and then afterward whether because of trauma or wanting to blame somebody or just needing some kind of societal pick me up a witch trial will happen. We've never quite been through one of the wars that they went through at that time. So I guess we maybe can't quite understand how they found that cathartic even though they shouldn't have like, which is take the form of basically, whatever weird group they want to blame. Now. Like, I grew up in the eighties during the Tanic panic in America that was a witch hunt. And it was Louis literal witch hunt. It was the exact same liable. Only, you know, in this case they tended to target like Goth kids people that were like overtly not Christian. So whether they they practice some sort of of witchcraft or or Wicca or. You know, the the kids that practice the form of satanism that was made popular bike Ozzy Osbourne was like, very theatrical. It's just a style of dress. It, you know, it's an aesthetic. But then the exact same lies were told about them, which is the child sacrifice stuff that they are practicing ceremonies to, you know, they're all bound up some sort of weird sex thing there were stories of the naked people gathering in the field and then having an orgy over the blood of a baby they adjust slain so you look at when that was occurring that was during the Cold War or specifically was post Vietnam. Was that a case where the real thing they needed to be worried about which was, you know, this long grinding unsatisfying war. What they probably since the time was like an empire those indicate. That they just needed an exotic exciting enemy to take on because it is fun. It's fun in the sense that you're not having to Russell what the morality up if there were people who are lily slaughtering infants so they can have an orgy in their blood and their guts, everyone would agree that's bad, and they should be stopped. Yeah. Little likewise. If there were actual older women in town who were casting curses to cause people to dive disease that also everyone would agree is bad. It's the existence of the those things we disagree with. But you have a case where suddenly the morality of the situation is crystal clear, they are absolutely evil. They literally worship evil after all Satan is the embodiment of evil Satan openly about, you know, death, and and victimization, and violence, and all the bad things the society, and these people are worshiping that. So all of the nagging doubts. We have all of the everyday concerns. The doubts after Vietnam. Maybe we're not the good guys. Right. Somebody all that's gone because you have a crystal clear black and white morality, you can fight. You have a monster. You can kill. And that's why monsters to this day are great and movies because you don't have to feel bad about fighting a monster. It's a monster. It's got a it's it's a snarling slimy thing like, it's no, it's it's gotta die. Yeah. And I guess we completely then afterward detach it from the conflict or the worry that kind of sparked us to to team up on that monster like with the most famous European which trials a lot of them were in the mid sixteen hundreds and it came on the heels of the thirty years war, which is not a war. I think I was taught about in school. I think I just caught up with it later because it's very old and boring. But also, it's not boring because it was a massive war that killed about eight million people in Europe at a reports of central Europe where half the population died in the fighting, and it was all basically a fight over whether Catholics or Protestants would be in charge of most things in Europe. And that was probably something that people said, hey, we that's not worth like fighting an entire war about they distract themselves with all these which hunts and. Witch trials that happened especially in Germany all over the place. And then with the Salem trials, they came on the heels of what was called king William's war, which was a North American theatre of what was called the nine years war, which was a fight over whether the king of France owned too much of Europe and some other countries push back on him refugees from that fighting in present day Maine, then ended up in Massachusetts and some of their daughters. Became key Salem witch trial accusers because people were just wound up after a very bad war that they didn't want to think about. But now today we just have Arthur Miller's the crucible we don't have like all that context or all the psychology. We'd like to thank squarespace for helping us bring you this episode of the show, isn't that fun. You know, also be fun having a website. Do you have one yet? You probably don't if you don't have one you should get one. If you do have one get one, isn't that simple? It's very easy to work out. What you should do here. 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Purchase terms and conditions apply. The last the column I wrote was about the subject of aliens, specifically alien abductions. But this is another one where it's so clearly a result of social anxiety at the time. But as you mentioned that context is always missing what only what lives long after the the context is the monster. Which is part of what's interesting about this. Because like it's fascinating that today, you can make a movie about aware wolf or even a very sexy where wolf win wolf attacks are not something we're still scared of the context of like worrying that a person is turning into a wolf and and eating the children like why that would ever be a concern as long gone all of these hundreds and thousands of years later, many thousands of years later that's still hold a place in the. Culture. I think that aliens will be the same thing. Even if we never run into actual life on other planets, you know, the believe in aliens itself, kind of make sense because from the early early days of humanity, the concept of we live here, and that probably means there's other people living on that mountain over there or that island over there, like even if we can't contact them. There would be a lot of mythology and a lot of talk about like, what are they like are they hostile are they in? So you would wind up projecting onto those people all sorts of things all your wishes all like, we'll maybe those people over there. Maybe they're all beautiful. Maybe they all live forever. Or, you know, maybe they wanna kill us. Maybe they're extremely advanced in the moment. They find out we're here, they'll kill us. And take all of our cattle and women and gold like you almost are taking whatever is in your. Own mind in your projecting it on the other, right, whatever that group is over there whose ways are different their customs are different their language is different. So the moment we realized that the specs in the sky were stars. And that we're living on a planet, and there's probably other planets out there. It was very very natural to say to start thinking about well who lives out there that is almost just a Basic Instinct, but the specific fear of being obstructed by an alien into a spaceship is very recent only goes back about like less than sixty years. And it's fascinating. Because it goes back to one incident it happened in nineteen sixty one. There was a husband and wife name of Betty and Barney hill among you Afo enthusiasts. These names are famous like this is like me explaining what Santa Claus is like, but I realize to the rest of you who are not part of the UFO community. This is all new, but the story is icon IQ in their in their world. But they were couple both around forty years old. They were not like your foe weirdos or anything like that they were completely normal. Like Barney was a worked in the post office. I think that he was like a social worker they had gone on a road trip vacation to Canada because that's the kind of people they were that was their wild vacation as they just drove around candidate for a bit. They were coming back home to New Hampshire. They've been on the road for a very long time. They've been Dr drivers like eighteen hours, and they see a light in the sky. Now that part was typical UFO sightings go all the way back to, you know, the invention of aircraft right, especially around World War Two. But so they see a UFO that according to their story is doing typical UFO things. It's silent weaving erratically around the sky. It's this bright light this kind of. Hard to define its shape, then they kind of swept down toward the car at which point their memories went hazy, and they drove home and found that they had lost like two hours two or three hours of time. They got home much later than what they thought they should have in the days after that. After reading a book about UFO's, Betty starts recovering. I'm making air quotes with my fingers. She starts recovering the memories of an abduction experience being taken on board the ship at the time. She described the aliens of being very short wearing blue uniforms and having greasy black hair just to end like I'm curious at this time, what the connotation even would have been around UFO's. Like, it seems like it would have been just purely. This is an unidentified flying object and not placing any alien context on top of it. You know what? I mean. That's amazing. No, no, no. This was after war of the worlds. This was after like there was a rich history and science fiction of like alien, invasion and of aliens existing like invading from Mars sort of thing because again, right and invasion from another culture that also is primal because that's been happening since the you have a tribe Guidi of your village being invaded by another tribe is very real that was ever present danger. So again, the moment we see that they're stars out there. It's like, well, I bet if they're out there they're going to invade. Because after all that's what we would do if. America would do if we discovered another, you know, with they had oil. We would come and take it. So who can imagine such a thing happening crazy? The whole thing that we joke about now everything in an alien abduction when you're taking on board the ship where they put you on a table in the probe you intrigue you like like, they either do like an anal probe or they poke you with needles the earliest being short with big black eyes and gray skin. All of that comes from the story not right away. She starts journaling her dreams. And then two years later. She's doing this. Barney says I think this is a delusion like he's like, I I saw thing in the sky. He's like all your stuff about being taken on board. I think this is a flight of fancy he didn't take seriously at all two years later. They both agree to undergo hypnosis they have not gone public with the story at all. They have not tried to profit from it. They've not tried to parlay it into a movie deal. They kept it to themselves. But someone told them you're still having anxiety about this. There's this new thing in hypnosis, you can go back and relive the memory in for a lot of people have undergone trauma. This helps them because they relive it. They face it. And then they undergo hypnosis and embedded the video where they recorded one of the sessions. And this is the first time Barney remembers his abduction if he's doing this as a hoax. He's the best actor I've ever seen because when he's undergoing hypnosis and reliving the moment where he is taken on board the ship because now he suddenly has a memory of this occurring. There's a moment when he sees the aliens. And he starts screaming we have this recording will will Lincoln the footnotes. He's not an actor like he's. He's just a guy, but he starts crying and starts freaking having a physical panic reaction that to me is very interesting because you now have a situation where in reality. What happened was they were driving back. They were both sleep-deprived winding through a pitch black at the time. These winding mountain roads had no lights on them. The light. They saw there's an observation tower nearby. Somebody has read has driven their exact route. And they said that light follows the exact path of the UFO as they describe it because it's a winding road, it appears to move around the sky in the aftermath of it. She read books to kind of put an idea to her head and had these dreams in. Apparently. She just told the story enough that it like planted in Barney, her husband's mind, inception style too. To wear. Now, you could you could hypnotize him in. He will relive it down to the detail, and it was from his description where the creatures evolved into short, bald grey skin, big black eyes. It is theorized that that design came from an episode of the outer limits, which is low budget twilight zone knock off at aired about two weeks before as noses session. Oh, and he may have seen it because there were only two or three channels. So it's probably on. Yeah. He's he had they had always said that he didn't. But either way the point being you're witnessing the birth of a meth here because today that grey alien with the big is like by one thousand nine hundred eighty seven I think they had recorded. It's in the article, but they had record. I think three hundred objections from people that swear at happens people that can pass a polygraph test people that can undergo hypnosis and can relive it. Most. Of them describing those same grey aliens with the big black is short the short little creatures in people who are you Afo believers say we'll see this is evidence that it's true because how the world would you have hundreds of hundreds of people and today, it's thousands like if I can't find anyone is even keeping the database anymore of your Afo abductions because it's so it's so common. And now, they all see the same creature that Barney describes that he apparently saw on this low budget twilight zone knock off and that is now in the cultural bbut stream, and it will never go away. I think at thousand years from now people will still believe in the grey aliens in the idea of getting -ducted on on board, a spaceship, and a lot of the things that he experienced that his wife experienced are things that like fear of a medical exam. His wife was. Not giving an anal probe. He was while nineteen sixty one was that was soon after they started recommending men, get colonoscopies all of these basic fears at a lot of middle aged people have plus the fact that I've not mentioned up till now they were an interracial couple. Barney was black Betty was white. They were active in the civil rights movement. The innate fear of getting abducted by someone against your will. This was nineteen sixty one they they were living in a progressive regional like they lived in New Hampshire for for a reason. But this is part of the thing with like anyone who says, well, they came up with they just wanted attention. I'm telling you an interracial couple of nineteen sixty one. No, you did not want attention. You do not want to go nationwide. Like, they were both active in the end up Lacey pe-, you do not want to go nationwide with an outlandish story. They would give people an excuse to discredit you. Mock you. You know, because again people did in the story kind of leaked out against our will what had happened was journalist got hold of they'd given a talk like a local yield fo- support group. And then someone got hold of their notes, and basically went public with it, and they started getting mocked. So then they went down told there, but it was years after it happened before they finally went is like nineteen sixty six before they finally went public and said, yeah, this happened. They were perfectly happy to sit on it. So everything about in terms of them doing it on purpose doing it for money. None of that holds up. I do one hundred percent believe that they think it happened. I think it was just a culmination of a bunch of different things from sleep deprivation to the two of them feeding each other's panic. This what's this thing in the sky, and then her recovering these memories and just saying enough, but the fact that a human memory can work this way, and that we would see the same thing again in the nineteen eighties during the Tanic panic when they were. To find children who would tell the police. Oh, yes. When I went to this day care. They took me in the back, and they were all in robes. I watched them them sacrifice and eat Eden. Infant those kids. Recanted that later, but people went to jail over it, you find out that when you take a little kid, and you interrogate them, and you make it clear during the interrogation that when they say something outlandish, everyone perks up that cleared. This is what the adults want that. They started to mainly facture that memory in their head. Because this is what they wanna hear this guy is here giving me candy and saying now tell us what happened now when they took him back. What did you see they were leading them to this conclusion, you can mean facture a memory in your head that way, you can believe that something happened to you that? Way Betty hill went to her grave like she had many more sightings of aliens as time went on kind of became a little bit more unhinged as time went on. But I fully believe she believed it, I believe of the hundreds and hundreds of people who say they've been abducted by your foes in have seen, you know, Barney hills aliens that they all believe it, but those creatures do not exist anywhere, but they might as well exist, just like dragons, they're now in our brains somehow, and we'll never get rid of them the method by which that happens is poorly. Understood I believe we need to understand it. Because a lot of our culture is based on this viscount. We learn to believe in monsters in the way, it dictates. How we behave. I'm so glad you bring dragons back in because. Yeah, I feel like two things that have really made that alien myth spread. Is one that there are a lot of people like the hills who probably do believe what they're saying. And then also that so many people conceive of aliens as being that thing that's called the grays like those sort of humanoid large. I large top of the head beings. It's not like evidence evidence. But it's the kind of thing that people are often like, well, why would all of these people very earnestly say aliens like exactly the same way. When aliens could look like anything that that the imagination could even conceive. But the same thing happens with dragons like dragons could could look like any thing in the world, and they're almost always large reptilian sharp teeth, maybe a serpent type element. And that's something that has never existed and never will also one of the monsters for my books are shadow people. Just people may have shadow that have is that are visible, and that has been brought up that will these turn up in lots of horror novels what horror. Novel. Did you get it from? And then later, you have more recently, they came up with the myth of slender, man. Slender man is very tall. He sort of in a suit, but he has like long limbs, and he's basically a big black shape the shadow figure like the figure of pure darkness. That's brain science. That's that is an extremely common hallucination they can actually sort of induce it in a lab setting. I think that people who have like sleep paralysis, which is that thing where you some of the people listening have had it where you wake up, but your body has not woken up all the way in. You can't move your limbs because you're still in that sleep mode. You know, like the thing that keeps you from sleepwalking? That's that mechanism still in place. So it's keeping you fix to the bed, but you're awake. But you start having hallucinations. It's like, the most terrifying thing that can happen to you. But the shadow people are very common thing you see. It's just due to how the brain is wired. It has to do with the way our brain identifies the shape of a person. And when it doesn't have the features there, it kind of fills in like a black just a vague black shape, or at least, that's what manifests itself I have heard that the that the alien grays where they have very big is. But an almost no nose and the mouth is just a tiny slit that when a human looks at a face that that is the order that you process the face. The eyes are very important. You don't necessarily pay so much attention to the nose the mouth if you ask or like a toddler if. Yes them to draw a picture of a face. It'll be like a circle with two two big is, you know, and then amount mouth it like they you are just drawn to the is. And that's the feature that you notice most. It's why like in Disney cartoons to characters have or an anime the. Characters have big giant is. And usually in cases, like tiny like a tiny mouth that is just it's brain science at when you look at a face. That's what registers with you. So when you have a hallucination of otherworldly beings. You don't have the talent to design a really cool alien like you're not HR Giger. You can't write like, you're not making aliens from the movie alien, the what you do is you fill in this very basic plain like there's no features like, it's just plain skin. They're wearing like very plain clothes like a jumpsuit is basically your brain picking the most boring designed it can come up with. And it's just big blank is. But it's something that I think can be understood it like why you would land on that. As the thing, you you see I think usually any kind of visual hallucination, if you're not just seeing something from the world or from a movie. I think usually you can you can break down why your brain cobbles together that vision. But then there's the second layer of once that story is told why is it so captivating to people that now like I said, it's in the cultural bloodstream forever. We will always have alien abductions. Like, I just think that will always be a thing. And I think it just taps into the because if you think about it again, as I said like this I conked story of the alien abduction all of these facets to from the probe specifically the anal probe. Lean the you know being examined on a table on Boorda's ship, the grays it all comes from this one story if they had sat out and intentionally wrote this they basically wrote a science fiction classic. Yeah. Right. If this is a story, they just cobbled together. Like, holy crap. You cobble together one of the most iconic fictional scenarios in history. But I don't think that's what they did. I think you took all of the ink sihities of the time, the racial anxieties fear of technology. Fear of the other fear of invasion, all of our Cold War paranoia. And it all came together to mainly factor. Grays that can duct you and examine you and that once one other person heard it, it just was just electrifying. And it's like, you know, what this happened to me in me in me. And that's why I find the story so fast because it's rare that we are around to see a monster be born. But by guided happened it happened on a particular day in in the fall of nineteen sixty one. And then it was just it kind of they had to piece together over the years over the course of her dreams. Her writing down the dreams her telling the story to him, and then the hypnosis sessions and then the brain worked its magic pardon. Me with all these master Mets at thanks like wouldn't science make us too smart to take in these myths? But at the same time, scientists how we found out more about just those specs in the sky being stars and planets, and it sort of created new dark, scary woods, right. Like, we got the wear wolves out of the creepy. German Black Forest around us, and or wherever else, and then we got aliens through the new place that we don't know enough about the new place that is out in Pawtucket of space. Yeah. In all. We have all we do is adapt it to the times because the new information like the fact is still had the emotional need, the psychological need for the monster. Because they're not based in reality. Anyway, as long as the need is there, then the new information you have you'll just tied in. It's like the fact that, you know, and we'll talk about like zombies next. But, you know, zombies originally, you know, they go back forever. The idea of. A dead person coming back to life like that probably is as old as death. Right. But the fact that like the Zambia's as existed in the nineties and later suddenly became a disease like twenty eight days later, it's like well, they've got a virus. We did a video about this a wheel offs also link, but basically zombies and vampires are two versions of the same myth that kind of like two very different sides of the same coin because there's a theory out there that using the dead to somehow stand for mindless conformity, like the fear that people will be converted into some terrible idea or some terrible ideology, and they'll just mindlessly following. So like we in many movies kind of used zombies like a metaphor for communists than later like day of the dead kind of used. Like mindless consumer because that's the one that took place in the shopping mall. So like zombies are like mindless, consumerism any any fear. You have that people don't really think for themselves, and the people are easily swayed by some terrible idea that it's just your one bite, and they're converted because they don't think for themselves, and then vampires are kind of the conservative persons fear of that thing, which is where they are the empire's are not mindless, they're very sophisticated and wealthy. It's like they seduce people into becoming you know, a creature of the night. And so the theory was that there's a left and right divide where people on the left tend to think of themselves as being more sophisticated and educated and kind of looked down on the masses. And so they see like a Trump rally and people in the red hats, and they seize arby's like these. People are just mindless or just reciting slogans whereas on the right, they fear vampires. They fear that these liberal elites who have no morals. You know? They have no faith their godless in that they're like their sophistication is what makes them godless and makes them a moral, and the people are like they're out to basically seduce, our young people into their godless, you know, way of life. That's all about indulgence and sitting around some mansion drinking blood, and there's this graph that I find fascinating, which basically says when Democrats are office, we tend to watch vampire movies, and when Republicans are in office zombie movies make more money. Yeah. Because each time it's reflecting the cultural fear that like like, oh, my God does ambi- have taken over because there's a Republican office and all these mindless drones have done their thing. Yeah. You never you. Never. See poor vampires in a movie, they're always usually castle owners or very very wealthy, and and a really really smooth operators, and then yeah, zombies are just everybody. But in a way where none of them are particularly prominent or in charge or anything. It's not fear that we don't have like free will. It's the fear that other people don't when you know, ten years ago. I zombie were a craze like there were tons and tons of ambi- books. This is when the Walking Dead I came out and everyone loved the idea of like imagining themselves in his ambi- apocalypse, and there were tons of articles on the internet like what would you do in zombie apocalypse, like, well, no one is imagining themselves as zombie and this AVI of Huckle AP's, imagining themselves them and their friends as one of the few survivors who still have their faculties and their human wits about them and can still function that the fear is that anyone else can be. Turned like if they get bitten by zombie. They will become mindless, and that you'll be helpless to help them. And it gets down to that basic fear that other people aren't really people which is almost like a it's like narcissism or whatever. But in movies like the Zambia genres simply replaced the old western genre. Where you could have made the Walking Dead fifty years ago, only, it would have taken place in the old west on the frontier, right, which is why there's no people around because it's the frontier because post apocalypse and then the random zombie attacks would have been replaced by random engine attacks. Right. The Cherokee techy bid, they'll be treated exactly the same way as he's in Uman bloodthirsty monsters who basically aren't obstacle for our heroes Taft to overcome the fact that we could so easily switch between. Lean native Americans in psalm bees and our fiction, and it looks exactly the same says so much that that could be an entire episode. Yeah. I remember because I think the order of me just growing up and discovering culture like burst. I saw movies like Don of the dead where they're all hiding out in a shopping mall from zombies. And then it was related to me. Like, hey, did you know that those ambi- are kind of a metaphor for a bunch of your fellow Americans? He can't even connect with. And I was like, wow, what a dark thing to put in a movie, and then I saw westerns where native Americans are an unreachable other who just get gunned down by the heroes. And that was that was pretty hard to watch with that realization, I'm glad we've mostly moved past that and also there now, and and before now westerns where they treat Americans like people, but we were very swift as a culture to make both of those messages that are both pretty scary. It's a it's a strange idea to write off so many people like that. Yeah. And that. That ultimately brings us to the conclusion here, which is that the reason you'll never be rid of monsters because we have evolved to need monsters. I don't know how you get past. It the reason when you go to write that story whether takes place in the old west or in a post apocalypse wherever based on like the structure of stories as we tell them you have to have some sort of cannon fodder. And I'm talking about Lord of the rings. You have the orcs Star Wars. You have the storm troopers zombies and zombie movies and SCI fi out of time. It'll be like androids of some kind in Indiana Jones. It was just, you know, the, Nazis, which you know, ought to video games use Nazis in that capacity. Some mass of bad guys. Data viewer will not feel bad about seen die. But then you look at a lot of like crime movies from the eighties. You'll get a robo cop death wish and drug dealers were treated that way. But like just poor people selling drugs like you robocup walks into a factory where they're making drugs, and he just kills everyone and their gunned down, and there's no like you're not supposed to feel anything when they die other than triumph. Like, you know. Hey, we're this is like exterminating a bunch of of insects and same thing with those death wish sequels where Charles Bronson's just gunning down minorities in the street because they've committed a series of property crimes. And after nothing, they remade death wish this year. There's was with Bruce Willis like it's still a story interested in. Yeah. And you know, the way that like a lot of action movies now like the Russian mob like in there, the Russian henchmen are are the ones that can be that John wit can can gun down and our format of store. Retelling requires that thing that is not my say, our I'm not saying Hollywood, I'm saying humanities the stories. We tell the epic poems. We tell there's got to be that group of Sinti and beans like they're sentient enough to have an agenda because they're taking you, but they're not human somehow like in. It's on spoken like they'll never debate the morality of it is just understood like if even as just the guys fighting his way through a bunch of skeletons. It's like well stop for a moment. You know, the skeletons are able to walk around at attack you with a sword to they have thoughts. Do they have an internal voice. You know, how conscious are they they're able to fight you. It's like the orcs and Lord of the rings like it's not their fault that their Orix like as our one hundred percent of the orcs morally bankrupt. Are there any good ones is your argument that well if they were good they should have like not joined up with Salman that. It's like well did they have that choice? Like, we have a whole format of stories that we love to hear that doesn't allow you to ask that question because the way we've built society from the earliest days of having a tribe or a group the survives the easiest way to bind those people together. The binding agent is fear of some faceless amoral mass out there, the other tribes whatever it is. That is so built in. In causes so much of the hate today to where like when people talk about, you know, like right now as we record this serves the thing where there's supposedly a caravan of refugees heading for the southern border and Trump is talking about mobilizing the military to stop them in. There are people who perceive that as an invasion from. Monsters, some sort of unclean thing, and that is so ingrained that the only way we tend to overcome it. Is by declaring the people who hate them to be the real monsters. That I sympathize with refugees by declaring all of those people in the red hats to be in Uman monsters. Yeah. The labeling even very active in both directions. Like the last thing I saw about Trump's response to that caravan was to just say that it's migrants from Central America with some middle easterners mixed in with no evidence at all. But he's even like he's just like why don't I pull from a few of the racial monster myths that I rely on. I don't I just stack at high, you know, and you also have this weird thing where the weakest and most downtrodden people get portrayed as being all powerful. Yeah. Like, these are the people who can totally undermine destroy America. I they will bring American down somehow by virtue of being. Poor like, that's why you had to have it like in years past couple of years ago. There's a whole thing with like, well the refugees are bringing Ebola with them. It's like the hand to add add some kind of danger to explain why we're afraid because of we're just afraid for no reason, then we're just bad people. So we have to change the story to make them lethal. So it cannot just be well, there's a bunch of thousands of people who are on show up here with no no jobs into homes and no support. And that's that's going to be a human rights nightmare because we can't necessarily care for them. It's like, no, no, no. You know, I heard that some of them are ISIS has they're bringing they're bringing they're bringing bombs. It's like they have to change it to make them a little bit more monstrous to make them a little bit more dangerous because we effortlessly flip back and forth between these people are totally like impoverished and have no skills, and no jobs between that and the portraying them as being utterly powerful and utterly dangerous. To our entire way of life. And it's like, I don't think both of those things can be true. It's always been like that from exaggerating the influence of communists in America. Like, I understand that the Soviet Union had nuclear weapons that was a danger. But the fear that communists were on the verge of taking over from within. How many offices did communist hold at their most popular how many communist forget about like members of of congress how many communists mayors? Do we have how many communists city council members? We have in the entire country of America. I think zero right? It's none. Like, maybe maybe some explicit, socialists. But no comment. Yeah. You've got to be zero or like two were like maybe somewhere in. I don't know Berkeley or something. But yet in the rhetoric they will talk like the communists are in the verge of taking over this whole thing by like we've have to stop like in this. We have a midterm election coming up at the time of recording this and that this is from the right? It's like this is your last chance to stop the communists from overtaking. You know, people who don't believe in America who don't believe in capitalism who don't believe in in our way of life. You know, very similar to like the war on Christmas. Like these people are so close to banning Christmas. And yeah, never mind that on September fifteenth. You can go to the store, and they've got the Christmas trees out never mind that they will be Christmas music playing in the mall from November from minutes after Halloween is over the Christmas music will be playing at the mall. Yeah. We celebrate Christmas for like forty percent of the calendar year. Yeah. But they have to always have that threat out there that they someone out there is there just are so close to taking Christmas away. They're so close to ending capitalism. Because after all I saw on Twitter somebody posted a thing saying in capitalism. So that means were under tremendous threat here that any moment, right. The trillions of dollars worth of stuff that everyone buys every single day. That's all gonna come crashing down. Like that all of those kids out there that are on their iphones and all of that in working two jobs. Those kids are going to be communist at any second. Now that is really important to our psychology. It's really destructive to our psychology. Because it just makes you it makes it impossible to work out your issues because after all there's no negotiating with a monster. There's no negotiating with the Samis. So why should we ever sit down and try to to hash out our differences because well, no, they're they're monsters. I have no idea how to overcome that. Or if we ever will. Because every time we start to the way we do. It is just by changing who the monsters are like we just declare some other group to be the bad guys. Yeah. I know that was particularly noticeable with the current Republicans in federal government because before they were in government. They were like, well, Obama is manipulating everything horrifically, and then they took over all three branches of the federal government and most state governments. And they just decided there was a deep state. Oh, you know, there's just another. Government above us. That is now the opponent. Even though we run the whole thing that's the one. Now, we're still the underdogs to this horrible monster. And so do whatever we say because we gotta stop the monster. That is the perfect example of it in a country that is still like eighty percent Christian. You'll hear Christians talk about the persecution and extermination of Christians going to happen any day. Now never mind that it is next to impossible to win public office unless you are a professed Christian never mind Brock Obama had to attend church and hold a bible in his hand to show people. I am a Christian like bike never mind. The utter stranglehold. The again, the fact that Christmas their holiday takes over a third of the year, they based their entire identity on this is going to happen any day. Now, the persecution is going to happen any day now because that's after all what it says in the bible because again when that was written that was true. It was a fledgling. Thing the Colt. It was a, you know, a movement that was on the verge. You know that the Roman empire had tried to stamp out before embracing later, but it's funny that once that church amassed massive wealth, total control, you know, became the most popular faith, you know, in the most powerful governments that they still are trying to play the victim card at every turn and still trying to say, well, you know, you'll get arrested for seeing the word Christmas. Now, they can't really believe that. But there's a difference between what we believe in the sense that I I'm sitting in a chair, and I believe this charity exists because I'm not sitting on the floor in what you believe because it's just the thing you need to believe to get by. And if you need to tell yourself that your a victim if that's what gets you out of bed in the morning. That's what you'll do. And the thing is is that for most of us in order to motivate ourselves to get out of bed in the morning. We need to believe we are fighting and overcoming a monster. And in order to believe that we have to believe in monsters and probably always will. Yeah. If there's almost something to I don't know prescribe to people, maybe it's taking your beliefs and just giving up giving them a quick mental once over as far as how much they impact people, and then from there, take a close look at the ones that impact people like there's there's the classic Kurt Vonnegut cat's cradle thing of the word is foam, and it's a made up word. But it believe it means like harmless untruths that help you like those are good because they're they're harmless, and they help you. But if what you believe means you're going to like vote for oppression. Maybe maybe check that over again. Maybe. That if the sewed for this week, my thanks to Jason pardon for turning up one of my favorite stories in a long time and a fun way to talk about both aliens and the thirty years war in one show. We're hitting all my stuff and speaking stuff this week's food Newt's features the psychology history monster stories and more that we talked about today. There's that entire hilarious helmet history. Episode about the Salem witch trials that we cited fun fact, did, you know, a lot of the condemned Salem, witches were men. Yeah. You can tell that to people at your Halloween party. How about that? You'd know stuff like that. If you watch Larrea helmet history. Also, we're going to link it to an episode of Hallo from the magic tavern that. I think is fun. If you don't know that show. Hello from the magic tavern is an interview podcast, that's improvised and fictional and set in a fantasy realm with also Arnie who has fallen from Burger King in Chicago to this world. And while Jason, and I were talking about those those horrid like enemies in horror. Right. Just a bunch. Zombies or a bunch of orcs just low level grunts in video game speak. I thought of an episode that how often the magic tavern dead where they interview a low level dungeon. Skeleton named Claxton at one of my favorite comedic approaches to giving those grants a voice and getting to know them turns out classes, a nice guy. And also the skeleton is voiced by TJ jagged. Dow sqi, and I don't mean to get like Chicago, improv community on you. But he's very very very good. You might know him from sonic commercials. But also from being one of the best improvisers alive. Why don't you hear him? If you want to have some fun. Also, you're about to hear Chicago fell can by the Budo spanned. It is our theme music. This episode was engineered by Jordan Duffy and edited by Chris Sousa. If you love this episode. That's great. If you hate it. Let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media a place. I don't get to say very much. Still my Twitter account is at Alex Schmidt, -i, my Instagram is at Alex Schmitz to Graham, and among the wider internet at my website. Alex Schmidt iw. Dot com. And I'm here to say we will be back next week with more crack podcasts. So how about that talk to that? Support for today's show comes from fallout. Seventy six Bethesda game studios, the award-winning creators of Skyros and fallout. Four welcome you to fall out seventy six the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person worked together or not to survive vol out seventy six we'll be available worldwide on Wednesday, November fourteenth preorder now at participating retailers and play the beta games play best on Xbox One. This has been an ear. We'll production executive produced by Scott Walker Mun, Chris Ben and Colin Anderson for more information content. Visit air will dot com. Folks is national coming out month. But you stretch it out to the whole what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. So you should know about our podcast. I'm Dave homes. I'm that mcconnachie. We host almost feel. Yeah. Right ear. We'll uh-huh. It's a queer comedy party where we grill queer celebrities on what the loving and who they're loving. We have in-depth eye opening in hill. Areas conversations about everything from our guest. Pop culture obsessions to their personal experiences with dating and sex and love you get to know a deeper a more personal side of your favorite queer people like John love for God. Save america. Joe Rian butcher John Early. John Early was here, Trixie Mattel. I mean, we have had if you call them. We're all guests on our show. I know Dan savage was a guest on our show, frigging savage. Do you? Remember, if Brian Moylan told us, I mean, I'm not even gonna get into the story right now. But listen, Brian Moylan tells the story that'll curly. Damning episodes are released every single Friday just in time for your gay weekend. 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10 Great Movies & TV Shows (That Were Almost Disasters)

The Cracked Podcast

57:46 min | 1 year ago

10 Great Movies & TV Shows (That Were Almost Disasters)

"Hey there, folks. Welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast podcasts all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt, and I'm had podcasting here. Cracked also known as schmead the clam also known as smitty champ. And I am also also getting you straight into this week's topic. It is great movies and TV that were almost disasters. One more time that is great movies and TV that were almost disasters. Because it turns out almost every massive global hit movie and TV show went through enormous close calls in their first step in the ideas stage of making that thing you love. And I think it's fascinating knowing about him. It's it's both like a creative journey. You know, like how they got from a really strange often monkey driven idea to where we are two day. Not there's anything wrong with monkey based entertainment. But you know, what? I mean, it's all about the ideas. And today speaking of ideas, I'm joined by two amazing returning guests who are full of super super cell. Ideas, one is cracks columnist and editor New Yorker contributor and more. Dan, hopper. The other is sketch comedian TV writer, and so much more Candice mardell aero, and you're gonna love this episode, by the way, I could not be more thankful to all of you who came out to our live episodes on the road just a few days ago in Chicago, and in Saint Paul Minnesota to be honest. I am taping this little bit before we did that. So I'll have more to say about it on future episodes. Also, I have a lot to say about it on my social media already. See can see it there. Either way. I'm very excited right now about this episode today, it's tons of fun movie things TV things and journeys into how weird the past was. It's a good time. So let's have that good time. Please sit back or sit in your most creative posture for inventing ways that, you know, the darkest idea in the world could become a Disney movie 'cause it's happened a lot either way enjoy this episode of the cracks podcast with Dan, hopper and Candice Marta, Leo. I'll be back after we were. Up talk to you, though. We should start every show. Some. In laughter. Dan. I think we're really going to use that. Great. And I'm so excited to talk about all these movies and TV shows, and I it makes me feel like every show or movie I've ever seen almost fell apart until like the last moment like they're about to film and insane script, and then rewrote it very rapidly. It certainly makes you feel better. If you've only been in like high school plays and crap and your dislikes. This is a total disaster until like the night before. And then it's like fine. And it just comes together. It's like, oh that happened in mind too. Yeah. Just every play that's ever been made. But then you see this. And you're just like, oh, like every Hollywood movie with a million people working on it and big budget and everything was the same way. So we're all just winging it people I feel like anyone that gets into the entertainment industry learns, very quickly, everything no matter, how brilliant it is. It's all by the seat of our pants. Oh, yeah. Phone into place of like, I guess that works kinda reminds me in film school when you would have you'd make short foam, and it would screen, and you'd have to sit in front of the class, and everyone would give you notes and people would always project and be like you or doing this really deep thing with the water in that shot. And it's something that would happen completely by accident and youth lean into it'd be like, yes. Yes. And if you like this is kind of the same thing like it seems so brilliant, but really it's just really Kenner the boom was visible in for shots. Yeah. That was kind of like the world is a film and. I just start using French words at that point. Oh, yeah. Verite, you know. Crook. Madam. You both know more French than I do. I've been to brunch. Don't want. Brag. Ham sandwich. And you know, I'm jealous about it. Well in terms of especially by the seat of the pants. We won. We were looking at here is rocky original rocky, nineteen seventy six which turns out Stallone wrote the first draft of in three days, and Danny thought there was really crazy way. He was going to go with the original ending of rocky. Apparently was that he throws the fight at the end. And it's because he he has an epiphany where he realizes he doesn't want that life. And you know, he doesn't want to be a big boxer with lots of attention, and whatever and wants to just go back to live with Adrian and his little suburban Philly life beating up people for his loan shark, like it's Lynch, his quaint loansharking life. True. Funny funny, like Piff fifty. But yeah. So he was going to throw the fight at the end. And then does the Adrian thing. And that's it. And that's the end of rocky forever. And then it turns out he's like, well, what if I liked tries hard as I can. And it's a split decision. And then there's forty seven sequels, and they all made a billion dollars. So right. This really lucky last-second switch which is really funny too. Because it's the idea of rocky spawning a franchise is kind of funny when you go back and think the original movie is such a small film. It's like, you know, a lot of takes place in one night. It's like about Polly is like really abusive to Adrian and rocky has this terrible life, and he has one shot at one nice thing. And and then it's like, okay, here's eight big budget sequels, basically, it's almost like if like call me by your name had lake five sequels or something like that. And like after the first one, then it was just like these five like blockbuster movies or something. It's like, it's a very weird thing in retrospect, the sequels would be increasingly emotionally risky love. You know? It's very fun for me. Mr. T is in one and the Russian guy. Indestructible and yet because I saw the original rocky again a few years ago, and it it's like the boxing just kind of happens at the end late. It's a lot like you say it's a lot of just like them being at the zoo and being sad. You know? And it's a really really takes time before the punching. It's amazing. Yeah. There's like one fight near the beginning. It's like a really local gym, and he just beat some local guy. And then he walks around telling everyone like it wasn't my fight today. And then like, then there's like the Apollo fight pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. That's how they pitched that movie. He gets one small fight and he walks around Taiwan here. I want my fight. And we have a big fight. In writing this at the zoo, he said. It's also funny 'cause paulie becomes like a a joke character like the later movies like a huge asshole in the first movie, and it's like, very serious. And then it's like in the fourth movie, he's total comic relief. And he like is in love with the robot, Butler and stuff. It's like. So off the rails. And really the first ones almost never on TV. I feel like on TV you see four most of the time or like, maybe three or two. But like one is so different from the rest of the series. Yeah. Yeah. Because I didn't see two through four for a long time. I had only seen one and five five is really sad. Too weird. Yeah. It's it's franchise arc and he almost ruined it by just making rocky guy who takes bribe from bettors to lose a fight in the very first one. Yeah. I think that art lets you know that when he was conceiving rocky like no one had any idea. This is going to be a franchise of any kind. I I can't think is there another Oscar winning film that then went on to have a bunch of blockbuster sequels. I mean, I know the godfather had two and three, but like godfather to another Oscar movie. Yeah. It just imagining lake forest Gump two and three, you know. It's like oh that Oscar movies a big hit. Let's just crank out. Sequels forever is like a very funny backwards thing that Hollywood hasn't really done that much. Yeah. That's true. It's like once in enters narrow prestige. They don't touch it. Too late moonlight too. The to instill. My brain. I thought like tune squad Space Jam. I did the same thing when immediately to like toon town. You guys in the studio have the same note for me. Two hundred million dollar moonlight sequel like this lost a little of the spirit of the original. Well, and with that original rocky version, I feel like a lot of these part of the initial potential mistake is almost trying to make it to gritty, you know, like, maybe it's somewhat realistic that a guy like rocky would be approached by bettors and convinced that throw it and Kansas. He'd also picked out Pretty Woman nineteen ninety as a movie where just the way they were gonna go initially is like gritty and such bad way. Kind of fascinating to me reading the article about it. It was never meant to be around com. Yeah. Hit originally ended where he shows up. He gives her an envelope full of cash instead of arose and was very clear like, yeah. I just paid you for your time. I am a sleazy a prostitute dynamic. And then she takes the cash she's hurt and she bangs on his window. Crying throws the cash all goes into the gutter and she breaks down screaming and crying. I hate you in your money, and then he drives away, and then she stuck with people spectators watching picking up the cash out of the gutter, and that's how it was supposed to. Very different than like the movie, I grew up with all my friends, quoting and. It just it kind of cracks me up. But in a way, I'm almost like this is actually a case from like would that movie have been worse? It would have been different. I don't know. What about worse, it just wouldn't have been the movie, we know? It feels like extra believable and realistic in world where Pretty Woman has never been made. Just no obviously prostitution is sad. And and this is the only thing we have not demonize sex workers or something. But it's the understanding of it. It's like the movie. Yeah. No. And I in the original script to she also had a serious drug problem. I think it's interesting that they they made it around calm the cast Richard Gere. So he's not like he doesn't need the. I think he can he can get what he needs fine. And then they went this very lighthearted route. And it's kinda just interesting that one it wasn't even necessarily like I said, I don't even know that the original one was going to be a disaster per se. It would just would have been different. It would have been heartbreaking. But it would be one of those super sad. Indie movies, right? Yes. The one where my like fast bender is a sex addict or some one of those very dark movies that that you you really really got it through. Yeah. It's funny. That's Disney that are Wien went. We we read this really tragic. Scripts breaking we think this should be a rom com. Larry was so. Yeah. And then Julia Roberts became what we all know in love. Reginal script teddy conic line. I'm just a sleaze standing in front of a prostitute asking her to perform prostitute. Yeah. Yeah. Sex in exchange for money. She's I know how it works. Good. And let's do it. And also feels like that's part of the badness of be original pitch to like not just that it's dark, but also that it's just a very bare description of thing that happens sometimes like it's not a story, you know, like well a man hires a prostitute. And then and then throws money at her. And that's that's. That's a that's our pitch. That's it. What do you think? It's like, I I don't know that that's all I guess, I guess you'd have to have like some kind of tension where it's like they both were in love with the other ones. But neither expressed it. And then it ends, sadly or something like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, peer tragedy. Like oh. Like, this was serious. But I have to pretend you're prostitute. And she's like I can't cross boundary or you know, because otherwise. Yeah. It's just someone hiring a prostitute. Why is that ending a problem for either of them? Right. And why is it a story? You know? That's just the thing. Again. It makes me laugh the idea that came in with that pitch, which doesn't even tell a story. And then Disney went you know, what there's a rom com in here. When I think prostitutes, think lighthearted love. And also that that's amazing with Pretty Woman that I feel like their their various stories of like somebody is about to do a pitch. And they just redo it for the people there pitching it to like, I think the story with the Simpsons pitch was that Matt grain eg realize he didn't wanna give away the rights of the thing. He has he just kind of made up a family in the lobby and then switched it. You know, I'm I'm amazed. They went to Disney with this at all. And didn't like sit in the lobby and be like oh God. It's Disney, obviously, a happy thing. Instead. Already a written script and everything. And it was the Disney intervened and said, you know, what we we're gonna make this. But we think it should be a rom com. We're gonna make some changes. Be just some tweaks. Some minor adjustments. Exactly part of the she's trying and picking up cash, and then it smash touch to papa's got a brand new bag like we need to. Cleanness out. It makes me wonder though, I've only read the last page of that scripts. What was the whole story, but lead to that? Because obviously, we're missing context of sheets heard because she cares about this person. And what have you, but I'm like, wait a minute. Because the Pretty Woman we know is anything where they go shopping and she listens to walkman in the tub. What was their story people when the actual movie he thinks she has cocaine in the bathroom, and it turns out to be dental floss? And and in the original when it was just she has cocaine to it. And so I imagine it's just a lot of very cold descriptions of sad things in the world. It's about. Sounds like it was just a sad biopic of a sex workers life. Yeah. Yeah. Missile businessmen who hired her for service. It is interesting to like how I feel like that thought process reveals that they think that drug problem is like irredeemable for character. Right. We have to get rid of that. If this is going to be a likeable heart of gold type character. And it's like weird. What lines you can't like cross for you know, like we can make our prostitute? But she's really nice like we can't make drug addict. Because then it's like we can't bring her back from that or something like damaged beyond repair in a way that like forced dump in the book. He like swears all the time. He like swears nonstop and like is really into having sex with Jenny and stuff like that. And in the movie, they make it he never says a bad word, and they like and then like the sexist kind of like just happens. He doesn't like talk about how awesome it is like because there's like lines. You don't wanna cross if you want your heart of gold character to remain Wyan like? Is very conservative, isn't it? Yeah. It's like oh drugs are moral failing. They're not a thing that some people end up in and some people get out of. Yeah. Prostitute. We can't give her two problem. It's such like odd thought process on their part. Yeah. And we we've also got TV shows here, and I feel like we can look at some of these where they were just going to dive into again a story. That's just a very bare dark thing. But I don't know how it's a story. And Dan, you picked out an episode of cheers. That almost was on television and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, they almost made an episode of cheers where Sam gets eight. Yeah disease. Yeah. That's a assistant. Yeah. He's ran this bar myself. Steaks also clearly to other people. Yeah. Cheers. Early seasons did some serious episodes. Sam was like a was an alcoholic who ruined his baseball career. And there's a there's an episode actually written by Sam Simon in the first season. Speaking of the Simpsons where he like he like almost relapses, and it's like really dark, but it's still like a sitcom. Right. And then as the series went on it just got lighter and lighter. And then it was like then someone pitched freakin aids episode like at a time where like the whole country was probably talking about it in such a tone deaf way, even for the aero like, I couldn't even imagine. What a very special episode of cheers where Sam gets aids at the time. When no one knew how to talk about it or how to deal with it or anything, and it was in the it was in the thick of it happening because it was late nineteen eighties. I wanted to do this and the season six. Yeah. Even like, you know, the movie Philadelphia things that tried to actually tackle it have like aged in some pretty cringe ways. So. I couldn't even imagine a thirty minute sitcom with a whole bunch of laughs. And then like the very special moment at the end is like Sam has permanent death sentence in like this era of terror and confusion for the country like China what a written. Yeah. How like wouldn't have been no laugh like every very special episode has to be like mostly still the sitcom. Yeah. Then the third act there can be like sad turn. And then usually they bring it back like usually it's like even the alcoholism episode. He at the very end, he like, you know, he's back on the wagon. And it's like he like just resists the beer, and there's like an audience applause, and then it's like probably some jokes. And then it's like credits where we did it, and they're brilliant at it. They always found a way to imagining them doing that with an incurable disease that no one knew anything about at the time. And that was like affecting thousands of people's lives like. Like, so ill conceived from the get-go, and if that existed now, it would be a YouTube thing that people are like have you ever seen this show each other the the terrible? Cheers aids episode. I was literally just thinking about that. Funnier died as a series. That's basically that where they take the very special episodes and do a hike down of why they're. They just missed it. Like they made it to like previews, right? Yeah. They so the plot would have been Sam finds out an ex girlfriend is HIV positive. And so then just hanging over the whole episode is does Sam have it too. And they got all the way to rehearsing the finished script for the entire episode before they scrapped it and series, co creator less Charles said, quote, be specter of aids was taking all the humor out of it. And like to a lot of people at that time aids was a new concept to them. So I can understand how they they started down this road. I can't believe they got almost all the way to shoot. Again. That's amazing. I like mentioning less Charles being like the studio audience was mortified, I think I think the warm up comedian. Cold crowd in eight. Away. Kills me about that too. Is that Sam doesn't even have aids in the episode? It's just the looming. Like, he might. And it's the site DEA to me like we're we're still going to soft at the end because it's a comedy, and we have to. But it's like why even tackle that subject? Don't touch that. One. If they if if it ended with him, you know, being like, oh, I don't and then there's like jokes and laughter and tenjin release. And then he goes back to living his life the exact same way in the next episode where he sleeps with thousands of women. It's fine. I bought a new brand condom and works, really? Well. It is interesting just the ark of of TV shows like that that are, you know, start a little serious, and then they get wackier and wackier. But then they tried to get back on the rails with serious episodes like way too late. I mean home improvement was the ultimate. Remember that because it was like they came back for one last season at the end. And all the cast was like, we don't want to just make a sitcom. And every episode heavy, you know, raise a Brad gets caught with pot, and like Marcus Goth and stuff it was just like one after the other, those are real plugs. And it's just problems off. Problems family or kit wears a lot of dark. I'm afraid your son is God. Dr. Like an x Ray. It's just real. As you could see. Matassa the whole. Yeah. Just like putting it there. You can kinda see like an af is t shirt like like ribcage. It's funny to imagine. Cheers, which was so wacky. After the first couple of seasons being like, no, no, no. We gotta get back to our roots. What made us good like a weird aids episode? We have to get back to our roots. Cheer started so dark about aids. Dialogue topical disease. Humor makes me wonder though is shows today 'cause I'm immediately thinking of Brooklyn nine nine because they do a very good job of taking on serious subject matter. But it's still as any sitcom. Oh, yeah. And so they've done like a black lives matters up. So there's like a too up and stuff. But I wonder if that's going to be one of those things where like right now, it feels like, wow, you really did this. Well, and you really took it on if it's something we'll back at years later and go they did want. Why didn't they just stick to comedy? That's a really good point. I wonder I say that having friends at right on that show. Like, I'm not bashing on it in any way, love Brooklyn night. But yeah, because you, and I think the first episode of it there's like a whole conflict about Holt the chief had been like held back because of his sexuality for his whole career. Oh, we're at a dark point for this thing where it was like just Andy Sandberg doing wacky jokes. Seriously. Do there was a black lives matters up sewed where it was they did it so clever because it almost verged into the territory of being a very special episode. But it didn't and. Yeah, I mean, I think they handle that subject balance. It very well. But it makes me wonder if it's because this era feels like they're balancing while or if it's something we'll look back at years later and be like, oh, they've made that choice, especially because like, you know, if cheers had done that it probably would have been claimed at the time. Yeah. Just for taking on the subject. But now you'd be like, wow, they really probably handled it in such a weird way. I do wonder what stuff from now is going to have Timofey this probably not a good show to get into. Cheers. And Seinfeld Paul and I'm from five scrapped episodes almost ruined famous. TV shows by jam McNabb. Seinfeld. One of the biggest comedies of all time along with cheers. They almost in their second season. Did an episode called the bets where it would have been the titular bet is a lane buying a handgun because cherry better. She couldn't do it. But then she ends up, basically. Threatening to shoot herself. And they try to do it as a joke, and they had a cast and sats, and they did a table read. And then the basically the actors revolted and refused to do it. Because it was an insane idea for an episode. My initial thought when I read that even like subject matter aside is imagining being that writer. You wrote was. So over the line that the cast literally was like, no did a bad thing. I'm not. So more. Yeah. The the extra critical pain point was there's a part where Elaine is for some reason. It's just Elaine and Jerry Jerry's apartment and she's yelling at him, waving the gun. And then she is says where do you want it? Jerry, the Kennedy and points that our own head and says the McKinley and points at around gut, and then apparently in the table read, the next thing anyone side was Julia Louis Dreyfuss dropping character and saying I'm not doing this. Like. Just mid read. Like, no, I quit. This is not gonna have. Now, you cannot make me do. That's so weird. It's also like crazy out of character for Elaine. What the hell is she doing that? Like, yeah. It doesn't. It's it's hard to describe. Because it doesn't make any sense of what we know of the show. We've all seen hundred times. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a lane doing like sophomore year of college edgy sketch. That's like not like, oh, it made fun of Kennedy being assassinated. And it's like that wasn't really a joker have any point. That was just like an offensive thing. You said something upsetting. The other like weird thing with this episode. We kind of have to guess added. But Seinfeld does that classic thing does of there'll be two things going on. And they interlock beautifully at the end which allowed shows do, but Seinfeld in particular. And apparently the other thing in the episode would have been Kramer claims he had sex with a flight attendant, George doesn't believe him and that pays off and George dragging everybody to the airport to confront this flight attendant and find out if it's true. But that almost definitely means the gun would come to the airport to. I don't know what happens there like that. Can only get worse. Yeah. And laying gets put on a terrorist. I don't know if we had anything happened security was a lot more. We. That's really funny. I didn't even sitter that. One of the things that's the right or to or you just an abiding yourself into a corner right now, they're all the airport with a gun. And I don't know what to do. She accidentally shoots a child in the back. Altro him doing stand up about it. We're talking about disney'll before. And we've got a whole range of classic Disney movies and Kansas. You've got a couple of that jumped out his favorites. Yeah. First of all, I just want to note in before we even talk about the darker version of Peter Pan that almost became talk about Peter Pan. As is that we know my nineteen fifty three film. I have a friend that I'm going to get this made into a shirt, I've already made plans for it. But our favorite line that we quote back and forth as we were only trying to drown her. Never never land. When forget the circumstances. But Wendy is left with the mermaids and they're trying to kill her and he comes up and catches them. They just very cavalier. We were only trying to drown her cruise. I didn't remember that at all. Yes. Favorite line from the move. And it's funny anytime, I'm in a situation where women are being caddy towards each other. I'm always like we were only trying to drown. So, you know, we'll set the stage with that of that is what we ended up with right? Right. So to begin. Originally, it was supposed to be that Wendy didn't get taken to never never land willingly she was kidnapped and the the whole setup of how Peter was going to take her was very violence. He's like he and Tinkerbell plot together all the boys. I never Neverland like we want a mother to take care of us forever. Which is like every man in my life. They all fly also. So he makes his plan to kidnap, Wendy, and it's very violent tinker Bell's pixie dust, which we now know a thing that makes us fly was originally meant to be basically like a date rape drug. It was too. Subdue her then he rips off part of the curtains as a rope and ties are up, and like are we going to link the article? The article is six creepy. Details that were almost in classic. Disney movies by jam McNabb. And it contains some storyboards folks look him up. If you look at the storyboards like he looks the distant he's standing over her with the rope in his hand, and it's like this violence, anyway, she's originally Scott, she looks a lot younger than what she even ended up being. So just this whole very twisted thing. But it's just interesting to me that Disney evolved into something that we look at us so late hearted. But even even what Peter Pan ended up becoming Walt did step in and go. This is too much. And why don't we make it that she wants to go and it's an adventure? But even at that, it's still at arc movie. I can't believe they the movie week out was a lot of compromise in terms of tonal darkness fine will peel it back to just attempted drownings fine. Yes. Good message to send to two children that like an amazing adventure always begins with you being kidnapped by a stranger. That's real. What's funny? I was talking to my roommate about it this morning. And he goes, you know, you could make an argument that those kids were still kidnapped. Really, you know, like, yeah, I guess it's true. They have Stockholm syndrome. And it's another one where if you watch it now like a lot of Disney a lot of things in general like were talking about the sitcoms. It it doesn't each. Well, it's definitely a very racist movie as well. They don't do pick native Americans the best. Few things. But it's yeah. It was it was a dark movie, it could have been really really dark and said it was just really dark tie. It's a Pretty Woman because like from the fifties to the nineties, maybe Disney's move is like receive the darkest source material possible, lighten it up make the movie, you know, like, maybe that's maybe that's their magic Peter Pan is the fourteenth Disney animated feature. So they've made a bunch of before that, and they were mostly Grimm's fairy tales, which are so dark, and then they were probably just like they're singing, you know, now, it's good. Cool. But no, that's that's exactly the grim stuff is really dark. And I love when Disney gets it. Just right in the little mermaid the original grim story. She lives their voice because her tongue gets cut out of her mouth. That's crazy. This see which cuts her tongue out. What happens? But if you watch this is the point where I think Disney does walk that line of dark and the light perfect. If you watch the little mermaid from nineteen Eighty-nine. There's a power Ursula is throwing a bunch of stuff in her cauldron, and if you pay attention at subtle she throws them tongue. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And I love that. That's the first line of like, oh, the darkness is still there. But we it doesn't make me sad. She cut out someone else's tongue. Offscreen? What is it tripe count on? Oh. Non-human tongue. Whatever. Just like Delhi or something. Right language is the Mexican food. I yeah. Yeah. She in the story. I think she she doesn't win over the prince and also doesn't ever voice, and then just dies and cries herself to death and turns into seafoam. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Can't believe they wrote Pretty Woman that way originally. On the streets. Sunday. It's me your pal out in a hotel room in Chicago. We are gonna do these live shows of very very soon. But in the meantime, support for today's show comes from green, chef a food. I don't get to have because I'm traveling right now, but you can get yourself a box right now. And I'm very jealous of you. You have so many options paleo vegan vegetarian Pesca -tarian Mediterranean. There's more heart smart leaning clean Kito gluten free and omnivore with green. Chef it's easy to eat. Well, and discover new recipes every week that you'll love to cook. Enjoy clean and greediest you can trust seasonally sourced for peak freshness. As wells recipes that are quick and easy with step by step instructions, chef tips and photos to guide you along. There's even premade measured sauces, dressings and spices. So you can get more flavor. And last time again, I am traveling. I'm thrilled about these shows were doing but in the build up to them. I have to look at these wonderful photos of green chefs food. It looks very good. I would have a lot of fun making it probably I would be like, we skillets and stove Top's and other things I don't have in a hotel room in Chicago. But you have those things in probably wherever you live, and you can use them with green chef to have delicious time. So for fifty dollars off your first box of green chef that. I am extremely jealous of to green chef dot US slash cracked to be clear. That's a dot US domain name because they're in the future. And they're really cool. That's green chef dot US slash cracked for fifty dollars off your first box of green shop. And also got Allison wonderland here. Which is such a kind of impressed with how outside the box. They wanted to go with it. But it's still probably huge mistake. But they didn't do I think it would have a huge failure. Especially at that time. There's a few things about this that I find particularly amusing so Ridgely Allison wonderland or no Alice. What is Allison? The adventures of the amazing, Mr. Carol, Alison, the mysterious Mr. Carrel fit, and basically it would balance between her going to wonderland, which would all be animated as we know it and then coming back to reality where there would be a live action basically pedophile that follows her around. And then it it's like a whole thing between basically, it would have been PAN's labyrinth. Oh, wow. Was interesting was that Disney read the script realized that Mr. Carol was creepy wouldn't admit it and his plan to like get around that was he wanted to cast Cary Grant of like, you know, he's a man's man. Nothing weird going on there. And then to drive the point home. They gave him like totally unnecessary girlfriend that was like super attractive, and my favorite part of this whole article, and I don't wanna upset anybody. But he said this was a direct quote. I don't want anyone to think he's a queer. And that's why they wanted to cast Cary Grant. Which is so funny because there's definitely a running theory that Kari grant was probably gay. Like rock Hudson. We know I mean, it's never been proven. But it's definitely something. We've talked about a lot in film history. And, but so it just makes me laugh of the whole idea of like, no, we're going to cast Cary Grant to do, you know, people won't assume this which I also have the idea that just because someone's gay that doesn't make them a pedophile. A lot of problems. Yeah. There's also the problem. Just if you're doing ten things to make your character. Seamless pedophile just maybe lose the character at some point. You just alternately what they did. But. Yeah. Those words came out of somebody's mouth in some meeting, and then we were saved. But otherwise that would've had it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what words that had to be said, how did we get here? We mentioned that his girlfriend is thirty five like ten times keep adding these notes. News it one way as a song because it's Disney five thirty five. Animal's things that I don't know. And I'm not Disney. You right. Alex, soft pitching Disney. I'll known animal comes into some shit guys. You know and Kennedy you mentioned that like the live action version of Lewis Carroll would have like a pedophile kind of elementary. That's because there's rumors and and things by life that that either by Victorian Sanders, are our standards are gross and one of them was that he Lewis Carroll real name. Charles Dodgson took thousands of pictures in life, more than half of them were of kids and thirty of them were of nude or semi nude kids, which was also apparently Victorian style because the past is, you know, weird. It's it's a thing where he also had like a very close relationship with a bunch of kids one of them named Alice Ladele, and then suddenly June of eighteen sixty three that relationship was broken off. We'll Lincoln Smithsonian article with all the things about it. Nobody knows for sure what his deal was. But to dramatize it in just like a chill away. Also, do a bunch of weird things to try to make him seem like straighter and more masculine and and. If people don't know Cary Grant, he was a very suave, dude. That's such a weird way to make the movie we have now, or it's just a crazy cartoon trippy fun thing. But yeah, Hello this. I not a pedophile. Too much. Stuff accusing me of pedophilia. I didn't say anything. No one you keep coming up with no one said anything. They clearly had that awareness of all of those things. And yeah, it's like really tips their hand like, well, we gotta do it. But we have to change it this way this way this way. And it's like all right. You're aware of the dynamic that you are creating your and then you're just trying to save it. So I don't know uneven ended even kinda pushed innovation that seems like doing a live action animated thing. I think they did it with the original Mary Poppins may be a bit. But but otherwise that would be pretty revolutionary for the fifties. And they were like we'll go that far. If that's what it takes, you know, which is weird who framed Roger rabbit meets pedophilia. I don't know. This is the don't enjoy. This elevator pitch getting off. This elevator. Don't worry. We got the actor from north by northwest. So it's okay. It's totally fine. Nobody'll does. Yeah. There's more Disney movies here to Bambi nineteen forty two in the real movie. Very very sad Bambi finds his mom's body, but in the original draft. He was also going to find the body of the human hunter who started the fire that burned the forest problem. Oh, yeah. John wick revenge on mankind. And also, then the lion. King nineteen Ninety-four. There's that fun thing with the lion. King kind of hamlet, you know, and it's all just Mara wing story beats from Shakespeare's hamlet, and I don't know about you guys. But when I see hamlet, I'm like hamlets kind of a Weiner. He's kind of lymph dude, you know, I'm not a kind of lame guy. And so the original. That's my only Alex a four hour play. A weiner. Yeah. Let me, you know. It's on the marquee. A real Weiner alad shut it. We didn't get a lot of good quotes that one of them are key. But original Lion King script. Scar was a bad boon, and he basically would have manipulated Simba into being a lame weak slavon lake character described as quote, a lazy slovenly horrible. Character was the plan for Simba because of scar. Basically, just like Lucille blue raising BUSTER blue kind of making him a week lame figure, and that would have been the whole movie would have been crazy does he does he find his inner strength at the end. Or no, it seems like he doesn't have very young. But like there's a lot of him just being like, which is kind of in the movies. Like he reaches that point with tomato Puga. But but then he gets out of it and saves the day. Like the justification for why he did that makes more sense than it's just a small part of that movie. Not the whole Mufi. That'd be the most boring movie to watch. Yeah. It'd be like watching hamlet. Weiner. Cima goes to this blue blooded private school for a while. That's weird. And his parents have to get him out of like, you know, some firecracker incident that he did this is so boring. I hate this character. When two we've got a other non Disney movies here to e t the extraterrestrial nineteen eighty-two Candice, you pick that out in particular. Because because it could have been scary base is fascinating to me because e has been one of my favorite movies since I was a small small child. And I did not know about this. And it really blew my mind to find out so close encounters came out was a huge hit spill still very young. And so the studio started pushing for a sequel and after what had happened with jaaz. He didn't want to just hand it over to them to have a sequel, but also want a sequel to be made. So he pitched a movie, I think it's like night skies guys night skies. Yes. Where basically it was about aliens that butchered cattle like mutilated cattle, and that was the theme of the movie, and they made it far enough where it's in the article that I'm assuming we'll be linked that they designed the actual aliens. Like they were made like they had already designed them. It was made it that far along. But it wasn't working Melissa Mathison looked at the script. And basically said, you know, there is there was a subplot of a little boy befriending one of these evil lands, and they becoming friends, and she goes there's a story there and Rhody tee off of that. And it just blows my mind to think that this charming little boy and his dog story that I've loved my whole life originally came from this monstrous thing about liens than mutilate cattle. Yeah. Like alien scientists terrorizing farm family, and in the in the article that designs of them are really spidery and horrible lookin. Yeah. The only thing that state is the fact they were kinda Squatty. That was literally a boy his dog movie. It was the biggest movie of all time. Like, literally the. Thing to change. Yeah. Totally change. Maybe the kennel movie would have been huge. It's another case of like that would have been a different movie. Would have been a bad movie. It just wouldn't Benny Tina. Yeah. Yeah. And again, butterfly effect. We never would have had drew Barrymore 'cause I'm assuming it probably a little sister character probably wouldn't have played the same away, Pepsi would not have existed. We we would not enjoy reece's pieces. No, we wouldn't have. Maybe gone out of business. Such a struggle and get our mouths around whole reese's idiots. Enjoying eminem. Also bad in this counterfactual. Geez. Farmer watching his cattle getting getting horribly butchered. And he says, oh man and then reaches eat some receives fees. You're good. Let's get into Dr. No, let's do the first JAMES BOND movie nineteen sixty two based on the Ian Fleming book, and they wanted to go a whole crazy direction with it, man. I love this jury and talking about because doctor no's cared about by seven people in two of them are and Alex. Dr no the first big screen, JAMES BOND film. Sean Connery pack prime doctor knows this mysterious character on a Caribbean island and eventually is revealed, and he has dinner with bond, and it's the first, you know, bond meets the villain sits down to dinner, and it's really tense kind of thing. Yeah. Like for for people who don't know bond movies that first doctor. No, it really template at a lot of what the series does a lot of the things you think stereotypes, you you only see him in shadows for most of the movie. Yeah. Elaborate layer. Yeah. Elaborate layer. And then finally there's a big didn't reveal where he's there. And he's like he has a big scar. I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. You know? He's just weird. Looking basically is a weird looking doctor. But in the original draft, I don't know how this would have worked. Dr. No, the big reveal was that. He was a monkey. Right. What the like like an animal not a person. I don't know if that means a figurehead, and like, and they were all someone else's running the show, and Dr no is the steak thing or like this monkey was the doctor who was masterminding everything simple. Intelligent, monkey in like Hammett. I don't know. Sits down and has dinner with bond and like tries to convince him to switch to his side. And it's just a monkey through. Throws poop. Yeah. Because the because they're also they're drawing on Fleming's book. And in the book, the character of Dr now is name is Julius. No. But it's it's sort of the old stereotype of like a Asian man who has hyper intelligent and powerful in devious and a lot a lot of racist things there. And also in the book, he has like metal hooks for hands. So there's a lot of crazy stuff with it. And the writers of the treatment of the movie were like, we don't wanna do this like Asian stereotype, we see all the time. It's stupid as they went with a monkey who's on guys shoulder. And so then they were gonna fight where do we do like, I kinda racist villain or a Bill that as you say makes no sense. 'cause like in the treatment, it would have been bond takes out the guy that the monkey is on the shoulder of. But then the monkey jumps on Bond's shoulder looks at the camera is like Dr no lives on. But, but it's a monkey it doesn't make any sense. And so those were the two ideas there are bad options for. Literally, Simpsons episodes end that way. This homers idea for the dog, right? And he like rewrites Mel Gibson's, Mr Smith goes to Washington. Yeah. And he's like we want zoom in on the dog, and people know people suspected like literally that and and yeah, the producer was like none. We gotta hit book. We gotta do the thing. And they they did tone down some of the Asian Bill stereotype part they failed to find an Asian actor to play them. But they made it less of a I believe they gave him regular hands or at least regular looking hands mutated hands right from radiation of that's it. Yeah. Radiation, clippers or not like flippers. But he's he has messed up hands and gloves, but not like medal hand, if people don't know this movie and only know Austin powers, like doctor evil is in the funny radiation suit where he tried. He kinda doesn't fit in it and his shoulders are weird. It's from doctor knows radiation SU there's a lot of radiation stuff in the movie. Yeah, I like the idea to kind of like the rocky one but times a million like what if this movie happened and was the campus dumbest thing ever and it like, right? Torpedoed the existence of a bond franchise before it even got off the ground like, yeah. Yeah. Or they would have had like punt for fifteen years and then start over in the mid seventies or something like that. Like, oh, probably something. That's stupid. Could have just been like, whoa. What a weird lark. And then we're not going to touch that for another ten years, and Sean Connery's not the star that he became and stuff. Like that by crazy. They really could have got off on the wrong foot imaginable or the right? I mean, I don't know. Out of all of our examples. That's the one that suddenly like the butterfly effect in my head just went crazy of civilization, as we know it would have been entirely. Dr no. Keeping. Yeah. Or maybe the bond franchise still happens. And it's just it's just a different animal reveal every single time. Goldfinger some walrus. Bon doesn't see it coming every time. This time. It's probably a person. Bon became Scooby doo animals. Pretty sure to person this time. You've been burned before just zoom in on an otter like. But then and then casino royale, they've they rebuilt it with a gritty realistic animal. Like a dolphin. Yeah. Nice can be vindictive. Smart cutting swims. Well, like, all right. It's a dolphin then. We'll reverse engineer how this is possible. They really right it. Well, and you're like, oh, they really made the dolphin make sense in this universe. Wallace. Can't be than the Brosnan ones. I don't know. It's just squirrel is the dad guy. I. Bon went through school with a squirrel archenemies. This is gotten so ridiculous. Join me seven half of these coins will be ause I'm not for shale. Even the movies. We have are like they're not that different from the books, but they do like tone down some of the especially sexual politics of them. But there's so many ways franchise gone like there's a previous podcast episode where we talked about an attempt in the fifties to make movies before these and the writers did kind of like these writers were they were like, oh, there's a horrible objectionable thing in the books, but they didn't like JAMES BOND himself. They thought he was a sexist and a bad guy. So they tried to make it a lady spy, and so would just be a ladies by franchise, which could have gone great. But like they're all these near misses all these franchises. Like do. We know too much lays is it. Good knowing that all of these things could have blown up, you know, on the launch pad or I don't know. I like knowing it's very fun. But yeah, Kanneh said like that butterfly effect thing is in your head where you're like, I don't know if it's just we know how things played out. So we can't imagine them any other way or for like, no, this would have fundamentally changed everything. Like there would have been. No rocky. Franchise that would have been no bond. French is some other thing would have taken its place with bond. Maybe it's mission impossible movies like right away, like the TV happening there like boom movie. Yeah. Yeah. England has no cultural. Exports. The Beatles are American. Take that. Names like, Hank? It's a little liberating in a way just to know, how close everything always is to disaster. And like again like I said like every I feel like every production ever made feels like that. You don't have any money. It's a total disaster. You're just like, I hope this is thing. And then it becomes the thing. And then people like it or don't like, but you know, that we're not evident how close it was to being completely one hundred percent different in a bunch of different ways working on TV shows. There's been times where they'll be something in the scripts not bad, but something will happen production that completely derails what you're going to do. And then you're by the of your pants, you come up with something. More brilliant on the fly ends up being you know, this great thing that wouldn't have happened. If everything went the way it didn't. Dr no being a human was an onset improv. It was like the monkey didn't feel right. And then they were just like just wing it for a couple of weeks. And then I just threw out that he's a human now. A lot of fun onset, fixing horrible problems. Fitting sense broccoli get upset that part of the thing is he was like, no, no, no. You're going too from my, but but really, yeah. He said, and we'll link it's a new statesman article about it cubby broccoli said quote. I don't remember a monkey chitter around in Fleming's book. And I agree believer in not tampering with an original winner. Yeah. British accent unto these guys, and they did it. Yeah. Not not only are bad. Yes. The studio has his probably correct. Colin monkey villain. Right. They were your mailing. Books. The episode four this week my fakes to Dan, hopper and Candice mardell aero for journeying into aliens and spies and Boston bars and more with me just having having a wonderful time spitball in ways these things could have gone and pitching itself is funny. You know pitching in the sense of presenting an idea trying to make it happen. It's just a good time. And I'm very entertained that we dug into these I hope you're entertained to. And you can entertain yourself further with our food notes where you will find links about Dan in particular, his very very funny Twitter account also New Yorker did. And then Candice you've seen her writing on stand against evil on IFC. Also, her sketch group fem PHD is amazing and all around Los Angeles and elsewhere, sometimes so I recommend you check those things out and then with our footnotes from the episodes material, we have cracked articles on everything from the Peter Pan story boards that are very creepy to the ET, that's very very creepy too. Also, some fun visuals because we do it every way something else. I think you'll enjoy is a new album that dropped on Friday. It is called Budo spanned five it is by the Budo spanned on dab tone records and it gosh darn shreds. Listen to it put it in your years. Also, our theme music is Chicago fell can by the Budo spanned a prior album. That's also very good. This episode was engineered by Devin Bryant edited by Chris Sousa? If you love this episode. That's great. If you hate it. Let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media a space where as I said at the top I say a lot of things about our tour. We just did right there. I'll talk more about it in the near future on the show. But this is like past Alex who is just very very excited to see all of you in the mid west either way. I am confident the main takeaway my thoughts on that tour is just endless thank yous. Just an end let like a like a Moebius strip of thank yous if your if your way into conceptual physics, I think that is it's some category thing in terms of my social. Media category. My Twitter account is at Alex Midi. My Instagram is at Alex Smith's degrom and on the wider internet at my website, Alex, midday dot com. It's got my free fun and occasional Email newsletter of ten things you alike, you can enjoy for free. So check that out. And in the meantime, I'm here to say we will be back next week with more craft podcast. So have out that talk to you. Then. This has been an ear will production executive produced by Scott Akron. Chris Ben and Colin Anderson for more information and content. Visit ear wolf dot com. Hey, guys. I'm I saw the host of fake the nation where we talk about news. We talk about politics, and where we ca- vet about democracy. If you or someone you love wants to know what's going on in the world. But would rather year that news from around table of comedians were smart funny, and you know, like gin secure fake, the nation is the podcast for you. Our panelists are people like John Lovett, John Fugel, saying John Hodgman and just like a bunch of people named John. But also people like W Kamau bell Maeve Higgins bear today. Thirst Judah Friedlander, and like just the funniest people in America. So find fake the nation on apple podcast Itcher or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, and we will tell you exactly who's gonna win the twenty twenty election. Like were that good?

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7 Common Mistakes That Ruin Movie Sequels & Trilogies

The Cracked Podcast

1:08:46 hr | 1 year ago

7 Common Mistakes That Ruin Movie Sequels & Trilogies

"It's time you turn your ideas into a reality with squarespace because squarespace makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project. Whether you're showcasing your work or selling products of any kind or doing anything on the internet. Did you know you can do everything on the internet? You can and squarespace can help us. They're beautiful templates ease there twenty four seven award-winning customer support and do all that by heading to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website, or domain. Hey there, folks. Welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast podcasts all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt number ahead of podcasting here cracked. I'm also known Schmidt clam also known as committee the champ. And I am also also pretty sure I will never see the godfather part three. I've heard nothing. Great about it. I'm a busy person in my way. And most importantly, the first two godfather movies are a unique thing to me that I do not want to alter the experience of any way. Because I watched those like, I do not watch any other movies. And here's what I mean. By that. In case, you haven't seen him the first godfather movie is a single story about Michael Corleone and his dad veto and their family and everything the godfather per partout. Does this thing where it tells two stories at once branching off of that first movie it continues forward with Michael's story. And then it also drops back to the past to see veto as a young man, it's an expansion in both directions. So what happens when I watched the first godfather. Is I need to watch part two as quickly as I possibly can in my brain. I am not seeing one movie. And then another movie, I'm seeing one six our story. And if I only do the first three hours, I feel crazy. You know? I I haven't even finished it. You might be saying that's crazy. But hey, we all have different things and sequels are just a different order of thing to me than the godfather part to. It's just a different kind of thing different level of thing. And that gets us into this week's topic. We are talking about common mistakes that ruin movie sequels and trilogies one more time that is common mistakes that ruin movie sequels and trilogies. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's mainly story and concept stuff. Also, the Matic stuff and just all kinds of different common mistakes that people make in the process of making whole new movies. And I'm so happy to be joined on this one by cracked editor columnist and more Syriac Lamar you've heard him on the show before in particular about pop culture and in particular about. Comic books, which are the most heavily serialized, pop culture. There is we'll get into that a bit too. In terms of what they have done there and has movie knowledge runs deep and runs. Fascinating. Had a great time talking to him about this. So let's let you hear it. Please sit back or sit inside the original godfather house, which is on Staten Island and went on the market a few years ago in that fun. It is real estate and either way here is this fun episode of the cracks podcast with Syriac Lamar. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you about. So we're talking sequels and trilogies today. But also in general, I'm sure a lot of people have heard you on the show before. But maybe to set up priors for people like what are our favorite franchises and movies to see like if you're going to go watch a movie for fun. What do you what do you? Dial up very few. Things can go wrong with a very classic Schwarzenegger eighties action movie as there's you can just see what the decade was all about you can see a lot of the socioeconomic themes a lot of the just in terms of like the aesthetic themes like Schwarzenegger, it was very much like the bodybuilding scene. So of course, this killer robot in Terminator movie is going to be a naked muscular man, like so I I feel like it's hard to go bad with Scharzenegger flick. If I'm just, you know, all things equal. I really like what that Schwarzenegger thing. I feel like almost all of those are not serialized, right? Like each movie sort of just drops him in even uh. There's a lot of tropes were looking for from Schwarzenegger. They're almost all standalone. They're almost all a now. He's a commando now. He's a policeman on Mars etcetera. Oh one hundred percent. It's there's a weird every man characteristic about Arnold Schwarzenegger, despite the fact that he is like, you know, a world class bodybuilder. He's also he's also the all American boy, despite the fact that he doesn't even hide his, you know, extremely Australian accent. There's there's very much. It's such an interesting juxtaposition with Schwarzenegger, and we've got we've got so many tropes of these sequels and trilogies which sequels and trilogies are not all bad general way. But these are things that movies can avoid and one of the basic ones here. This is from an article five stupid mistakes, basically all movie trilogies make by Spencer through and Tiago seven. And the first mistake here is the idea of changing the story in a way that ruins the previous movies. So you have a sequel or or the final part of a trilogy, and then you just drop stuff in that invalidates the previous films. I feel like this happens kind of a lot especially for being such a basic air. It's crazy. There's so much of trying to flip the script to play with the audience's expectations. And the funny thing about movies is just as like a money making vehicle it's not like TV show where serialized than the economic cost is way less to change a plot point with. A movie and film franchise. You're going all in you're going all in. There is stay make this movie both innovative appealing to the people who like the previous Ville. You end up with a lot of completely narrative -ly bankrupt films. One as far as these movie franchises where they they commit to something. Like, you say it is such a massive bat every movie and a franchise like their banking the entire thing on this next one installment. Do you have any favorites of these examples in terms of a franchise that just really really went for it and movie three? Well, it's it's kind of apropos that I started talking about Schwarzenegger because the Terminator movies. I think are a masterclass in how not to write sequels for a movie. And if I love that we're starting with us one because there are so many factors. I feel like going into especially Terminator three here being being an issue for the whole thing like anything. Time travel's very difficult to keep doing just the more. You think about it? Terminator three if I remember, right? It was a while after the second Terminator. Oh, yeah. So like, I feel like there's another issue a lot of times in sequels or trilogies where if. If you wait too long to do the next one there's kinda too much turnover behind the scenes there's too much distance from the previous one. And so like, the next people just might not have that commitment to making the previous stuff worker make sense. They might just be like, I know it's a new era. It's two thousand three when Terminator three came out. Like, it's a whole new ballpark. We're going to do whatever we want that. Terminator was the sexy lady. Terminator who saw the lingerie ad and became like, very curvy to use her sexual wiles to get out of a scenario of like if you ever watched the commentary three it's it's such a total trainwreck. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Narrating the movie in real time. But also trying to riff on how good he looks naked. And the sexiness of the Terminator it's it's really some. It's it's really some inspired listening. Just as far as like, it's the plot. Terminator three goes it really invalidates what happens in the opening movies. It's. The inevitability of judgment day is I guess that makes sense from a physics standpoint. But it really trains the joy out of the films. You know, because doesn't it opens with Sarah, and John Connor finding out that there was no way to stop the apocalypse. No matter what. Zan Ben why did we do to prior movies? It doesn't it doesn't feel good or. And I'm not saying that that's like a bad way to make that movie. You could like make some weird existential drama like John Connor like having an outside. The Terminator factory. Man. I just wasn't able to stop this like, but then again, you know, termeer three it's a product of its times, it's a product of its times. And you know, it's it was also actually interestingly enough in a down period, I think in Schwarzenegger's career he had made a lot of kind of crappy movies that the time. There was you know, the one where he's cloned in the one where he like fights the devil, and I don't even remember the names of them. I just know Schwarzenegger's, the devil and days is that it. Yeah. The days so you could see that going back to that. Well, made sense from an economic standpoint. And that was also prior to him running for governor. So if t three came out in two thousand and three I believe he was elected in two thousand three two. So like, he probably wrapped the movie went and campaigned and just got into a whole new thing. So maybe that's another issue that can rail. These two is just like the main people being distracted with the next things that have come up like he was clearly trying to run the biggest state or one of the biggest states that franchise is. Is such a key example of this thing where like you say there could be some kind of really thinki- existential. Terminator movie has this of the setup where there's just no hope and no way to stop the robots. Yeah. It's I could picture a really screwed up Terminator movie, where it's like, you know, John Connor in you know, he's in his forties or whatever. Now, how the heck old? You know, Eddie Furlong's right now. And he is like reading the news. He's not reading the newspaper. He's reading his ipad or his phone or whatever. Because you know, he's not gonna newspa-. But like he's seeing in real time. These tech companies invent the term. I just feel like helpless to stop it. Because like Facebook is inventing the Terminator, and he he has no idea how to actually combat that. So he's you know, it's it's a day in the life of a man who knows that someday? He will be the leader of the robot revolution revolution against the routes for that matter. I feel like they almost a little bit do that in Terminator two where they go into cyber Dyne and are fighting in the offices and stuff, but just tech companies in real life in one thousand nine hundred eighty one weren't there yet, you know, they couldn't quite execute. It cyber Dyne looked like a sharper image lay. This wasn't this like big, you know, kind of like the tech companies. I like the big utopian moment like places like Facebook or Google or whatever like half half of what they were inventing was like colored cylinders to clubs. I don't know. Right. Like, they build a Terminator. And it just borrows the chairs in the mall at brook stone or something like it's not it's not interested in anything Gould. Ninety thick -nology, man. And then also I'm glad you tie this in the camera into because we've got the alien franchise here as well where the first two movies, especially number two are about Ripley trying to save key people the whole time and then third alien spoiler alert. They just kill off Hicks nude and Bishop like, that's it. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that the shenanigans behind the scene with alliens three had were more intense than Terminator three. I think Terminator three was just like on the shelf for awhile. But only three definitely there was infighting about the script. You know, what the studio wanted? What writers one with directors wanted had multiple drafts? I think William Gibson was attached to it at one point. So a lot happened with alien three. And the end result is actually really existential, essentially bleak. Not unlike cut a Terminator three in the same way. It's you know, she goes and fights alley and then she falls asleep for fifty years. And then is like I don't care that I've been asleep for like fifty years, whatever I need to still kill alien because this is awful. Makes them then she makes them friends and a bunch of them die. And then she makes them like that she kind of has a family unit going on. And then she's just in jail, then she's just in like hell prison planets. With an alien in her at it's. Yeah, it's it's a it's a really jarring shift from what people expected, you know, after kind of the standard set by aliens. But yeah. Three. I think is an interesting movie. Even if it's not the best movie at times, and that's an interesting move, especially to go that narrative dark in it. I think I feel like I learned what trilogies are from Star Wars. And we had we had VHS is where before the movie started, George Lucas was interviewed by Leonard Maltin about how great George Lucas's, they would be baked into the VHS. You can't really skip. It very well. It would be a lot of talk about how like movie to you. Go dark, and then movie three you come back up. Right. Like, that's the that's the flow of a trilogy. That's how you execute one. People wanna see and then alien three which I am looking at the poster here realizing the three was an exponent the way they stylized it, which is very funny. So it's alien cubed. But they went extremely dark and movie three after a relatively hopeful to. That's really strange. Oh, oh, yes. Oh, yes. And also to make things even stranger coming of age at that time a lot of the merchandising. I think they'd realize that the earliest Rancho. Was a merchandising juggernaut. And you could get people interested in aliens and flame throwers and things. So that all the video games, and so forth were tied to is just incredibly depressing. Move hip. Woman dying in jail with an alien, you know, it's and keeping with the sorta like Terminator two to three where there was there was a bigger gap there. But here aliens the second movie came out in nineteen eighty six and then an alien three didn't come out until ninety two. So it's it's a six or seven year gap. That's and expectations build in that time. You know, people wanna see spectacle, in the way that the expected from aliens. Like, you know. Yeah, it's actually really smart marketing on their part, it's alien, and then aliens, you just make it plural. An alien is a little more nuance. There's an alien and there's a jail, and there's you know, corporate politics, and it's it's a thing. I don't think people really wanted. But it was a thing. Yeah. And and like you say, that's probably the least avoidable element of mistakes to avoid when making a sequel trilogy, but those production problems behind the scenes like that seems to happen. A lot at the movie three or four stage where just like people wanna do other stuff or they get tired of editor. Or there's arguments about. I don't know how easy that would ever be to avoid with a lot of movies. 'cause like people will basically get opportunities from the first head or two. And then suddenly it's fracas you can bring that to our next point which is discussing the original x-men trilogy. The fellow who plays cyclops Marston, James Marsden. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the reason that he has such an abbreviated appearance in x three is because he was in the Bryan singer superman movie because if you notice Bryan singer, yeah, yeah, he's like Lois Lane's love interest in that movie. Who is the non superman love interest? Yeah. Yeah. Like, Jim or something? Right. It's just that rom com thing where there's nothing really wrong with the other boyfriend, but we're supposed to get them. It's just not superman. I mean primary failing. But yeah, no. You can definitely see an abbreviated. I mean, you get that really great scene of cyclops just getting of of the incredibly iconic and marketable leader of the x men getting totally killed the movie's opening minutes. So it's like what? Maybe that is a mistake. We see with both aliens franchise, and those those first three X men movies where the first two especially the second one. So great. But then movie three there's a lot of casual death. Right. Like, I feel like, you know, there there can be a good version of casual death where you know, we're excited that that George. I Martin kills Ned stark so fast because it's gritty, you know, but the stakes are established. Yeah. Then in these movies. It seems like such a common mistake to have movie three just wipe out several main characters right away as like a table setting for something we're supposed to be just as excited about I guess with x three one of the things that they drive home in one of the reasons I think that the X men have been such a enduring interesting group of characters is because the X men are always about like, they always represent that like other outsider nece, whether you're queer or punk or bullied, or you know, that's why I think it's such an enduring group of characters and while you can. Honestly. Right. So many interesting experts stories, but in that movie, they come up with such a Pat solution for all that. Which is we have these guns that shoot syringes, and they're going to fix your DNA? And it's it's you know, so so much of those previous movies about how the immutability and be who you are. And you know, the mutability being a mutant, and you know, be who you are. And. Yeah, live live your truth and all that good stuff. And then it's like, Nope. We got these syringe guns, and we are going to fix all of your problems. I mean, there's a metaphor impact there. I don't know if it's about maybe a metaphor drug abuse that you could if you if you really wanted to like, you know, go the distance, you could probably tease out. I I'm not gonna make that that's such a killer point about X men. The last stand the third movie because it introduces this thing that like you say, it's it's a syringe of some sort of medicine. They are something that like vaccinates you against being the mutant you already were. And and I think any way you try to turn that into a metaphor for something. It's like weird and defensive kind because the X men are so about being yourself and the way you're born and whoever you are also just a really dumb plot point. Because if they're like making magic syringe guns that can, you know, cure people being like being born like dragon people or having nine arms or something. Yeah. Why aren't they doing that? For like, you know, change, your hair, color, cure, cancer, other all they're doing it. You you think that one of these things is harder than the other yet? Right. Like, who cares about curing, Alzheimer's dragon ISM? That's the care. You can get rid of this sick, dude. Who was born a dragon rather than celebrate the fact that he's like, I don't know. Like, I don't even know X men, I'm referring to in that case. Actually, probably going to say as she was real world examples, but the X men are a fictional character. So that those. The other like real world thing that that the third X men movie kind of throws out is that in the previous two movies, and in pretty much every comic book magneto is very interesting. He has a very interesting perspective on on mutant rights and on the whole world. And it ties into like the holocaust. But at a pretty effective way. Like, they find a way to do it even though that sounds extremely hard to do. But then in the third X men movie, he's just kind of full-on super villain who kills people all the time. Yeah. He just it's, you know, it's it's bad storytelling in that. Like magneto is supposed to be he's like very much the classical, you know, sympathetic villain. Who you get? You get what you understand why he's doing a why he's doing what he's doing. Because you could picture yourself in his shoes if you had magnet powers or dragging person or whatnot. You know, and yeah, they just kind of turn him into like just a jerk judge. And that's what that's what no one wants from a magnitude movie. They don't want to a movie where magneto is. Just being a guy who can like throw cars at people know, they want like nuanced sympathetic villain ry, especially as like thoughtfulness doesn't prevent the car. Throwing either. It doesn't go away. Oh, they go. They go hand in hand. And then with production things with a point out that I two of these X men movies were directed by Bryan singer who but he did affective x-men movies. And then the third movie they bring in Brett Ratner also who. Who who apparently had never read any of the comics or thought about it much? That and it shows it is also very strange, how of that era of superhero film making with movies like Spiderman three next month. Three. It's almost like they didn't trust the final product. They I think they were expecting audiences to turn on a superheroes at any given moment. So you can kinda see them rapidly tying up. It's like basically like watching a movie in fast forward. It's like loose ends. Here's here's narrative closure on these characters who have existed for decades, you know, because slash move you'll ever see them. So right. Like, they thought this was a fan of that they had locked into and they needed to finish making the money fast. Yeah. Yeah. And and I I think it was just accepted knowledge that they had tapped into the reservoir of us we'll characters and that's why I wrote I was very surprised when the movie was successful because most people firemen was a robot. The last time we a Pat cast. I think it was about comics, and we talked about how only a few specific comic fans and the rapper goes face Killa like. Diane man until the money that was it. Nope. Tony stark when goes away skill, you know, call themselves Tony stark that was cut the he's like that was one for the real for the real. And Alec Tony stark is more popular than Bruce, Wayne. It's it's a really surreal reality. We live in. I wonder how often with these pop culture franchises, especially the people making them will sort of blink or get the EPs or something because they do think it's about to end. Like, there's the there with the bond franchise. There's the famous story around George Lazenby does one movie replacing Sean Connery, and then apparently has representation advised him to not re-sign up and get out because bond was just going to be a fad, and he shouldn't keep going and. Yeah, that's supposedly the only reason he didn't keep going. And I I love the with maybe a lot of these franchises that happened like the people doing them where like we got lucky once, but people will not want more Star Trek, we should stop. We should get out. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It's like if we're going to pour, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars into this. Let's let's get while the getting's good. Why into unless look at another key mistake that often happens as as people do that as as they seek the money. Does a mistake of building a whole third movie specifically around seeking the character who disappeared in the second movie. It's weirdly, very very common. You would think that's an extremely specific premise, but it happens a lot I feel like the matrix movies hit on this, and Alex I did not get a chance to rewatch those movies recently. And they were they were so regrettable. They were so bad as tricky because the second movie of the matrix trilogy has just enough exciting stuff that it didn't totally kill my expectations for the third movie. Like, it wasn't good. But I was like at least there was that cool freeway fight with the twin guys. Yeah. And there were like there were like some other interesting thing I remember getting disappointed twice over in the process of the second and third movies. Like second one wasn't good. But also, I still had some hope and then the third one was was. A real a looney tunes kinda thing. Yeah. And I think I think with the matrix movies, again, it's about like flipping the script on what the audience knows. And so much of what I think made the matrix repealing to people wasn't. I mean, the kung FU stuff is fine. Like that stuff is fun and the jumping out and downloading things in your brain. But the end of the day like the matrix is, you know, philosophy one. What it's like we all live in a computer. You know, it's that that is why people like the matrix is. I mean, some people probably like the sunglasses at night aesthetic, or the, you know, fidelity to late nineteen ninety s rave music. But there is I think at the end of the day, the reason people like the matrix is because of the big, you know, mine teaser that it brings and third movie. I think we're so much about creating lower for a world. That's most people thought of as like, a fun, psychological, you know, brain teaser, but and then they're just like on others. There's all these other computer people, and they. If there's a prophecy. And and you know, you can't kill Kiato Reeves and on the matrix movies and never thought about it that way that that the the hook of the first movie was one big philosophical idea. And then in the sequels, they did not find additional philosophical ideas. They just did world building shit that nobody cares about. I think it's easy to rag on the matrix for being dated or being, you know, kind of passe and a lot of the aesthetics of it and stuff. But like, I do think that the matrix had a lot. I mean, it was really successful. At the time. It presented a really interesting psychological conundrum to a pretty big audience. And that's there's there's no power in that. Yeah, they did. Okay. And it holds together some, but then in the third movie, they're coming off of a second movie where I'm sure no one remembers this clearly, but it was a thing where Nieto's digital soul had been severed. And so there was like a bifurcation of him in some way. Again, not doesn't really make any sense or matter. But the third movie a lot of the film is trinity searching for a way to reconnect, Tim, soul wise and put it back together. And so there's not actually a ton of of Neo in the third film because he's they're looking for a way to like rebuild him kind of. And that's a that's a weird. Way to lay out an entire third film of a trilogy that that had started to fall apart real fast before that goodness so much so much happens in that movie that is forgotten by truly. Yeah. I'm just trying to struggle. What happened? I think like he's flying a spaceship, and he has a force field or she has the force field. And then everyone's having sex at one point wave, right like an underworld cave city or g going on. There's like a power he's in a bunch of sunbeam's and a Lotus position. It's it's all I only remember like images most part. But yeah, it was very, you know, I haven't watched it. So I can't vouch for the special effects by remember being visually striking movie at the time. And you know, there was bad cool. Attention care being put into this film. That was just really boring. Just really how do you make a movie about s- giant, robot, spiders and learning kung FU through, you know, floppy disks make that boring, and and it did that brings up a really interesting thing where I feel like the the sequels and trilogies we're talking about today some of them feel like it. It's a product of it being under baked people not trying hard enough like. The third X men movie. I think they just didn't try hard enough. But then then these matrix sequels, they tried so hard. Yeah. This going to happen to people on any level of effort. They want euro Mansor meets like Lord of the rings or something. They they were throwing a lot into that bouillabaisse man they were. They're throwing the kitchen sink in terms of plotting a franchise this way, we've got other examples here, my think, my favorite of them is it's the movie called Star Trek three the search for Spock where the whole movie is toward the end of the second movie. There was like a very dense situation to understand where Spock is like gone, but not in his Solis separated. But not and then it takes the entire movie to rebuild Spock and find him again and that movies like fine. I love Star Trek. But it's it's that that franchise is clearly a thing where everybody likes the movie before. And after it a lot more than that one. Yes. Everyone likes con in the whales. Yeah. I mean, that's what I like. You've got me Dutch writes, Alex. Like on the couple of other movies where they do this searching for a character pirates of the Caribbean to seem to kill Jack Sparrow at the end, but they do a search for him in three and he's on the posters for threes. He just know he's going to be in it. And also, they I think they do a better version of it in the original Star Wars trilogy. Because technically they are searching for Han at the start of the third movie. But then they go ahead and find him and get him out. And it's like a fun setpiece. And then they make something out of it. They don't spend the entire film wondering where hana's they they get onto it. I think what people need to stop doing is creating a little space between like life, basically, creating purgatory and putting in your movies to bring your stars back because stakes are so reduced. I like it. It's like, yeah. Oh, you can only always be like, oh, you can only cross the river of the dead or something once, and I don't know once you cross it once, you know, it can be crossed man. It's. No limited spaces, man. Like, that's you know, an and actually Justice league Justice league. Does that to just league's like, oh, yeah, we life and death. It's it's here. And you know, we can get superman. And you know, it's. Yeah. I know that's like what happened in in the death of superman kind of very similar, you know, set up in the original comics, just don't do it little spaces don't do them. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, that Justice league when as a killer example too because if I remember, right? The previous DC comics movie superman is being buried, and then the very last shot of the film has some stuff hovering indicating that he's probably going to be alive again. But then we spend the entire next movie getting around to that it's pointless. Like, why would you do that? He's on the posters, and the seven eleven cups and everything we all know, the seven eleven cups. They never lie to you. The wise. Yeah, they're correct at wrestlemanias coming up, and they're correct that the superheroes. Coming back every time. Yes. Seven eleven cups as a medium of information dissemination. Alex. And I both of admitted that we get artists from seven eleven cops. It just imagined like a a World War Two one where it just has war printed on big letters, you know, and that's how I learned. Oh, well, this is going to make the slurpee lot worse. Okay. Many. Thanks, you squarespace for their support of the cracks podcast and their potential support of you. Yeah. This this sponsor is here to help you because you could use a website. Maybe it's for yourself. Maybe it's for a new project or thing you're doing and have coming up. Maybe you just want to put your photography out there. Boom. A hobby. I'm guessing you may be have. But maybe have other hobbies that you could also celebrate with their own website. The answer is yes, you can. Because the possibilities are endless. I also wanna talk to you about square spaces support for mobile, basically, the whole internet is being used on tablets and phones and other mobile devices. 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It's a very very specific Chicago old adult based rap song that we will Lincoln the food notes thing is I was on transit and other people's cars and stuff. So I couldn't listen to that basically gag song that fills me with glee I still got around and stuff fine. But Toro would have been the way to do it. Why don't you have a better experience than me? Next time, you are traveling or just need a car. So download the touro app. That's T U R O on the app store or Google play or visit Toronto dot com. Get twenty five dollars off your first trip when you sign up for Toro and use promo code cracked at checkout. Terms apply. Another mistake. The pops up in a cracked article five movie sequels that actually ruined famous characters which is a mistake where the second movie does a lame resurrection that cheapens the entire drama of it. And there's two movies here in particular, the second men in black and the second Kingsman movie point out really nicely that they bring back the mentor figure in a really lame way. Yeah. It's you spend the whole first movie saying, oh, well now, you are learning to be this, you know, member of secret society, and you've learned Cherney, and how to use, you know, incredible gadgets, and yeah, and you ha- you have a, you know, motivation for your events, and you have ideals live up to and they bring back the the character the metre figure. It's like why? No, no. And I get I get that both of those characters, you know, were part of the reason I think why those movies succeeded. I mean, Tommy Lee Jones doing tough-guy patterns grade and Colin Colin Firth doing frim. But deadly is was very fun to watch. And as I think, I think they just don't think that these movies can stand without it. And it's just bizarre at that point. It's just distracting and bizarre when the sequel's hit, you know, maybe it brings back to Star Wars again. Because one of the things I learned from my VHS tapes was that George Lucas loved that like hero's journey thing. The Joseph Cambell here with us and and in his trilogy. Obi wan like like does voiceover and go stuff, but he stays primarily dead. He doesn't come back and fight and stuff, right? Yeah. Obi wan's not. I mean, oh beyond the most that he comes back is he he just yell some stuff at Luke Skywalker at the desk looks Walker whose fighter jet a great. It's a ghost is gently yelling at him. Like that is the extent of his powers from beyond the grave at that point. You know and side coaching in the swamp. That's the swamp Cy coaching in the swamp. When no one's around. No one's around like that. But yeah. Oh, oh, be ones. Not not jumping. He's not jumping back. He's not, you know, correcting his forum. And although now I want to write that movie where it's yeah. It's cool. I mean the force ghosts who just won't leave you alone. You know, it's. I want to let them, you know, Luke, are you free? I'm bored. Dead. I feel like Opie wine never fully comes alive again because consciously are not Jewish Lucas figured out. Like that would and my hero's journey, right? Like, my hero has to grow up and be a hero. And so if the mentor just comes back and keeps keeps putting training wheels on him. That's not like interesting. I mean, I think the men in black movies are really good examples of just, you know, it's it's it's funny. How we talk about these movies negatively, but they movies are like the by product of extremely micromanage too decisions involving huge amounts of money. And so it's I mean, even with the third one you get in the weird scenario where like it's Will Smith hanging out with Josh Brolin who is a young Tommy Lee Jones, and it's just like let Will Smith have an adventure by himself. Yes. Linda, and in these specific examples in the second men in black movie, they bring back Tommy Lee Jones from having his mind wiped, which is like not not a skillful narrative. But at least there's like a way to do it kind of in the second Kingsman movie we had seen Colin Firth in the first one be a shot in the head. And then in the second one he's just back with like an ipad over where he got shot and there, and there's not very solid explanation as to that up. And it's just I kind of wish they had spent more time on the weird nineteen fifties cocaine empire that was in that second movie. I mean that was like it sounds like some big, wacky ideas. They're thrown all spend more time without thing. You know with a who? Who was the super villainess in that movie who am Julianne Moore earlier more? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That that movie would have been were interesting. If it was more weird stuff that she was doing when also in terms of either your mistakes, we have here. There's one mistake that at us my movies, don't quite make they try to do a new villain instead of Samuel L Jackson from the first one. Yeah. But many sequels and trilogies will just immediately kill the villain the next movie out that we have seen before. So they can move on and get to a new villain. That's supposed to be even more interesting than that makes that previous villain less. Interesting. They were they were just suddenly very easy to kill after a whole movie of chasing them around. We've got well this this one was driven by legal battle a love bond movies. And there was a legal battle over the story for Thunderball that a guy named Kevin mcclary one. So Ian Fleming and the main bond movie people lost it, and that meant that somebody else kind of owned blow feld the famous JAMES BOND villain. And so then in the Roger Moore JAMES BOND movie for your eyes only they cannot say blow felts name. Name. But they take a guy who looks a lot like blow feld from behind and just immediately drop him down a factory chimney to his death in like a slapstick sequence. I know why they did it behind the scenes, but they he'd spent like like a dozen movies trying to beat both held. And then just suddenly they do like a Buster Keaton death of him. It doesn't make any sense. I love that. You know, here's this like the iconic bond villain. And it's it's just like throwing a dummy down a stairwell. Like, it's literally. Yup. Yeah. That's a dummy. Yeah. It's crazies. And then we've got we've got other movies here to like, the Boba fett and just gets eliminated right at the top return of the Jedi. Even though he was very interesting in the previous movie because they just want to get to the emperor and move on. And so it's very slapdash. They injure ask world three. They just stopped caring about T. Rex's the king Taina source. So they can get to a spina Sor. Oh, freaky. That doesn't matter. Come on even Wieder is in the subsequent movies. They bring it back t Rex. And here's like the T Rex redemption moments. And it's where like the t Rex kills another dinosaur Andrassy world. Yeah. Yeah. They're always, you know with regards to the T Rex t Rex's win rate because there's only one t Rex keeps dying coming back and not willfully. Rex's. Directs says weight loss ratio like it's a roller coaster ride some in some movies. It gets kicked in some movies. You know, it's t Rex redemption. And like I like the t Rex is like a boxer or a sports team link when it's at home field. It's a lot better. You know? And speaking of T, Rex redemption, I need to give a shout out to the movie that does villains rights, and that is three movies. The raid. Move the raid. Yes. Yes. I've seen. I think the second one. Yeah. It was great. The raid redemption is just the first one weirdly enough. And it's because of I think it was originally called the raid, but they were running into legal problems with calling it. So yeah. The rate movies for those viewers who are not aware are really cool in an Asian action movies. And what happens in the first movie, it's about a bunch of cops going after some sort of crime boss in a apartment building, and they have to fight their way through like floor after floor of the crime bosses henchmen. And it's really cool, then the movie's really celebrate the fighting and the martial arts and the room to room aspect of it. Right. Like, I I remember it being that way it's relentlessly. Brutal. Extremely entertaining. And in the right to the off all of the villains from the first movie almost right away. But they make the point to replace them with martial artists who are even like worse than the first movie. They do a great job. Is just is what is just a woman who fights with hammers. And she's awful. She she's just she's just a woman who does martial arts with hammers. And another one is a guy who fights with a baseball bat. And that's like all he does. And it's awful and terrible. And I think they do a really good job of upping the stakes with the villains in that movie include the fact that mad the the the actor who plays mad dog in the first movie he has an entire like forty five minutes subplot in the second movie where he's just trying to get custody of his children and that culminates in like a twenty minute like martial arts sequence that has almost no bearing on the actual plot. They just want to give them a time to shine. And guess what? It's great. To make sure understand why you say that new villains were awful and terrible. Demon like, good awful or bad who'd awful, good off. Visceral and creepy and weird, and they, you know, end to end establish that each of these villains is a force to be reckoned with each get a montage of them just killing a bunch of people. So you just have to like sit through three acts of like extremely choreographed murder, and it's good. Maybe that leads to like an overall strategy sequels and trilogies can use with villains where I feel like you were you're so dead on about no limited space in these movies. No time where we're just killing time until we get to the next thing. But also, I feel like with a lot of superhero franchises, especially like some of them will tend to start a first movie without the most famous villain like Batman begins. We don't have the joker yet. Right. Remitting up to it. There's a hint of it at the end. And if that was done poorly. It would be very limited where we're just like well come on just get to the joker this boring. But maybe maybe the trick is to save those later villains for later movies. And still also nail the first movie in a way that that leads us. So then then they make all their money on multiple movies. And we get multiple adventures and everybody wins. Everybody wins. It's easy to describe hard to execute. But maybe that's the trick. Maybe it's it's save. Save the best villain for later and the dark Knight movies. Mark to do this. They made the heath ledger joker with Nike of character. We're now getting a standalone joker movie that looks weird really weird like, and you know. And they have enough faith in that character to invest in tire movie on it. And it's looks like a deeply strange movie. I don't know if it will be good, but without kind of giving that character the room debris that he needed in the second movie. It's now you have a scenario where it's jokers, you know, household name on the same level. No one's thinking of like, you know, the old joker with like, you know, the pain a mustache and all that business. You know, sixties Batman now just fill the foreign feelings. This great. Everyone just wanted to steal like a vase or or like a rare bird. I mean, I figure I feel like of men were I think we would both be sixties Batman criminals because they had they had interesting goals. Like, I want to steal like the color blue. Yeah. Rake we're we're both a little bit whimsical. So we would fit in right there. Like like, I'm gonna steal getting to go to the zoo on Saturdays. You know, like. I've stolen the concept of Christmas. Have Christmas in a dictionary. Yeah. It'd be like that. I don't know. I don't know when and one other thing too. There's another mistake here, which is where a trilogy goes into movie three by bringing back the bad guy from the first movie. Right. And so then you would think you would just want the exact build you were describing before we're movie to has bad or villains, Shirley movie three should have even better villains. But basically almost every famous trilogy just makes movie threes villain the exact same as movie one. And this is one of the few spots where the star original Star Wars. Trilogy kinda does blow it like, they just have another death star and more emperor. And Darth Vader Oliver. I'm actually I'm actually worried about the the new Star Wars movies. The the previews are showing you hear the emperor's laugh, and I feel like why are we going back to that? Why why are we going? Why are we going back to a like prune like faith wizards we've done that? We've done that. You know, it's and I feel like that was also the the message of the second movie. So I'm all nervous about that. I am fighting my anxiety. Alex. Yeah. You mean like message of last jet? I I really enjoyed its concept of we we need to be our own heroes and not just obsess over the previous heroes. All the time. I thought that was, you know, for whatever narrative quibbles, I got with that movie. I think it was trying to do something interesting and being a little bit. It was being kind of brassy about it. But at the same time, I think it worked overall Ida to. Oh, I'm so glad and yeah, you're right. Even if they do that and we'll find out several months from now. But if they do that where they just lean back on shriveled old sheaf Patine. Yeah. It's going to be his first name. She's it's going to be the opposite of the message of the movie that preceded it immediately where we got a new narrative whiplash, man. If you're gonna do that at least make like a sexy emperor. And it doesn't have to be like it doesn't have to be like the board Queen and like sexy woman, it can be just like Ray a very sleek like emperor. Who's like who's like, you know? He he listens to you and dinner. He's the emperor and he's evil. But he's he's doing all the right things. Maybe forty percent of the right things. And the other sixty percent is like, you know empire. But the other forty percent is, you know, being evaluated partner. Then in terms of other other franchises where we get the bad guy. Just comes right back dark. Knight movies. We have the league as shadows and Batman begins. And then they just put a new vibe over it in the dark. Knight rises, the third movie with Razov ghouls daughter Talia and then Bain working for them. It's just right back. Same thing. Actually, I think I'm probably the one of the few people on this planet who likes the dark. Knight rises. I find it to be just such a big Bumba stick kind of movie, and it's it's goofy. It's goofy in. I think it's also a big bombastic weird weird movie. I do think one of its failings is I grew with you. There is the second movies basically, heat with the joker heat with the jokers and the third movie, you're getting into all these secret societies and ninjas, and you know, people who live in a big hole, and it's not what people like about the second movie. I think you also bring up an excellent successful things sequels and shoulders can do to where they I think in the captain America movies. This to where they like make these sequels a whole new kind of movie, the original Star Trek movies did to like, suddenly it's a buddy comedy with Wales or suddenly it's wrath of Khan where it's like a Horatio Hornblower naval battle sort of thing. Like if you make every sequel, a whole new kind of movie, that's very exciting. It's great. Yeah. I feel like yeah. That is I guess in the particular example, the dark Knight. It's just I think the audience simply didn't remember who the hell Rozelle Google was at the. The. That point captain America is really strong example that because you know, captain America has really occupied in last, you know, half century. There's a level of hokey nece about him. And don't, you know, don't get me wrong. People have done interesting interpretations of captain America. But winter soldier I feel like you can really go back to what people like I think during like Ed brubaker is run on captain America. It's it feels very heavily inspired by that. And it's kind of cleaning it on the espionage elements of captain America, and you know, one sane man with a true heart against the cruel realities of real politic or whatever. And that's yeah. And like a conspiracy and stuff. Yeah. And captain America's like, you know, the he just wants to do what's right and in a world full of corrupt bureaucrats men, he's giving it his all. And that's America eleven. There's a nice aspirational quality. It's the any man quality of captain America. I think that that's like that's what's good about that movie. Also to the fact that he's like t takes down like a fighter jet by himself. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I want I want to see a guy fighter jet. Like, that's what I came to the theatre for. I feel like you could walk into a room with that title. And just suddenly the movie would start production. Like, I would just bring out of the the there. Yeah. I don't know like make make it like like that book. We already middle school hatchet, except the kids fighting a jet. In the wilderness. Right. Hatch jet. Always causes hatchet to take down the. Yeah. I'd watch that. And we got a couple of other trilogies here where they just bring the bad guy. Right back in the in the third movie in nightmare on elm street. Three, Freddie goes right back to doing dream murder in the second movie, they had found a thing where he controls people's bodies. And Spiderman three the Sam Raimi's Spiderman the first movie he's like trying to find out Ben's killer. And then in the third movie he finds out he had the wrong guy. And just does that whole plotline over again for some reason. And then the matrix that that trilogy. That's not good. I one he fights one agent Smith the second one, he fights infant agent Smith's. Then the third one is just one agent Smith again, which is not an escalation at all. Yeah. What what you fight a football team of two sets. Yeah. And that was extra cool. That was part of still having hope after the second move was like he said fight of a at Smith. That's pretty cool. You know, once you cross that Rubicon of all those agents Smith's you. You know, you can't go back you need to. In hindsight. It should have been clear that they couldn't escalate beyond Infinity villains. Like, there's not more than Infinity. Realize that now one that's me, there's another there's cracked article here to draw and called five sequels that ruined the original movies point by Tara Marie? And that that whole article is another enormous mistake people make where just they make a sequel that like invalidates the message of the previous movies. So it's less of a allow the stuff we've talked about his cannon or specific narrative beats this is like just the overall message of the film gets thrown out by sequel, and that feels like a big mistake. Don't do that. Thematic consistency is somewhat important. Yes, you are supposed to subvert the audience's expectations. But again, I feel like looking at these the movies that are kind of Keno keystone examples, this it's at the other day, it's like money and trying to recapture lightning in a bottle again. And again, you, and I I think Kristie Harrison we did a podcast awhile back where we got into stuff like the extended Garfield universe where there's a canon and stuff, and that was all sort of a celebration of the magic of. Capitalism where there was money out there. So we got these insane things we wouldn't otherwise get. I think you're right. That a lot of these are are are capitalism. Failing us where they just wanted to make that next bucket of money, and they didn't think it through. I think we're kind of stealthily praising Garfield for being true art for. One of these examples of sequel that that ignore the original movies point, a point out, a a lot of very clear things to just narrative Lee with the Jurassic Park and world franchises in general. The the article picks out that the original Jurassic Park is about how man can never fully control nature. It's basically full of character saying that explicitly all the time. It was like, Jeff Goldblum speech and everything and then the Jurassic world franchise so fire. The problems are all generated by man, completely controlling nature. Like, it's a fully genetically engineered dinosaur fighting another fully genetically engineered one in a completely manicured park. It's just all man's stuff nature having no role in I feel like those movies are so strange because it wants to have a connection to the prior films in dressing world, the kids discover the old visitor's center, and yeah, I'm just thinking to myself. How are they able to launch the successful theme park without someone, you know, someone the investors or what? Ever, you know, government up apparatus or tach? They're like how did imagine? If there was a theme park a billion dollar theme park, and it opened and then it would not open if the people knew that lots of people died there, originally, I. What if six flags great adventure was just like the site of countless atrocities? But now there's a roller coaster there. You know, it's. Wouldn't exist. And I guess part of the thing is simply with drastic world. They you know, they hand wave that away. They're like, oh, no. They just made it work. They just made this park with incredibly dangerous dinosaurs. That killed a lot of people in several previous movies. They just they just made it work and. At the end of day, the audience knows they're watching a movie about dinosaurs. In the theme parks. So they're not gonna complain too much. But again from a narrative standpoint, it's just bizarre. Somebody can get their PHD and economics explaining how that would possibly be a feasible business. Resurrection of bringing I I want to watch a movie about the PR campaign that convinced everyone that Jurassic world was a family friendly destination. It's like, yes, you have all of these murdered people. They're all murdered by dinosaurs. Like a Glengarry Glen Ross kind of situation of the PR for trying to sell Jurassic world. Investors that if families come here, they won't die. Yeah. It's not a different business. Really? Yeah. It's a bigger park. Yeah. It's just an even bigger part in the dinosaurs are still violent has ever. They're still. Yeah. They're still extremely dangerous. We're we're just going to get to work at this time in terms of PR and with that the Matic stuff like every ad for I think both Jurassic world and the next Jurassic world, they tended to focus on like, Chris Pratt and has trained Veloce raptors because you can just train velociraptor now. And that that's feels like it runs. So countered all the previous Jurassic Park movies. Where like there is just not a way to contain or control Yana soars, and they're like loyal dogs or something in the new movies. I'm not saying that's impossible as cannon like you can do that. It seems like the manically throwing out. What was so interesting and meaningful before, obviously. Because it's you know, Chris Pratt and a velociraptor everyone wants to watch them doing things going on escapades together. Clearly, it is it's not, you know, it doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of. What the movies were trying to sell and the drastic world movies. Are they feel like kitchen these days? It's kind of like hard B-movie plotting dressed up in drastic world, you know, just park universe. And I'm look I'm not saying that the drastic park universe. I'm not saying that this is like Ivanhoe or something. You know? It's like, it's. It's a movie about die. It's dinosaurs. In a park, you know, and it's interesting how these things develop and how the plot changes how, you know, millions of dollars of studio money dictates the how these movies are crafted, especially it's kind of a movie about commercialism and commercialism leading to bad things sometimes. But then they're marketing it and profiting from it too. It's it's really hard to execute properly. Yeah. You'd think that they would have enough problems with the dinosaurs. Normally, and it's address it will opens with the dinosaurs being such such a lack of problem that they're just inventing new dinosaurs to become even bigger problems. It's very weird. They fully controlled nature. It's all side. Yes. These insane murderous cloned. Dinosaurs are now just not a problem with we got this. And other franchise. We can look at here at the article picks out to is Rambo because Rambo takes a first movie that has a really really clear viewpoint about war. And then and then we got all the rest of the Rambo movies. I mean, I plus a movie about PTSD like. Yeah. Just goes and murders. Lots of other peop- like. Oh, that's there's a lot to unpack their about Rambeau. There's and it's a somewhat dark thing. But it's it's a thing. I shouldn't even say someone it's just stark. But that first movie first blood is about how war like screws up people's minds, sometimes when they go through it. And then all of the sequels are Rambo going to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Burma just killing everyone. Yes. Rambo Rambo just if I was trying to make sense of the Rambo movies by just watching them one after the other unaware of kind of the political climate, which they were made or the studio machinations that like involve they're making. I would just assume that Rambo after the first movie cured his PTSD. And then just got back to kill everyone like office. Murder again. Right. Thousands of times over. Yeah. PTSD is like strapper the hiccups or something you just working out. Yeah. Now, he can go back to good old fashioned killin. Great job Rambo. Really allowed to killing the article collects statistics that are interesting because in in the movie first blood Rambo commits one exit dental murderer like somebody falls from a high point. And then by the next movie first blood part two. He kills fifty eight bad guys in one Mufi, which is real real cured of all the all the feeling bad. He's just back in the saddle. I it's actually a really interesting movie. I I like I blood part of the movie is Rambo Rambo's pushed to the point where when people start getting injured they have pushed a guy who's having a lot of problems. Whereas, you know, the previous movies do not really address that like Rambos like pushed to the limit. He's like he's still doing the mission. Still doing the mission. You know, the sequels to it or just he's on a mission. He's doing it. Yeah. There's and there's a lot unpack. There is a lot about when these movies were made. And like you said there's a couple of different pressures because like you say, there's one pressure of our world view of things changes over time. And so as you're making a franchise year to year, you have to like grapple with that. And then also also money like people may not want to see a second film about PTSD because it's very sad. I hope there's a way to do it. Because that's an interesting thing to cover and deal with the job that Rambo five is coming out this year. I did I I saw there's like an Instagram post of Stallone holding a bow and arrow, and and announcing that it's going to be a thing. Yeah. Yes. And it's it's called last blood, which is it called last blood knuckle. Knuckle last. I'm reading the pitch sounds like it's Rambo versus the cartels courses. Great or something like that. Yeah. There was a previous version of Rambo a previous version of a script that. Yeah. It was supposed to be a monster movie. And it's a looks like it was supposed to be about Rambo verses a genetically altered monster something, you know, there's a there's an I think there's a new guy ZOA movie coming out in like, I'm a little while and some really hoping Rambo just pops up in that like, that's it. You know? I mean, I would I would I would watch that. But end speaking of Godzilla there, we do have new movie coming out very soon. I didn't know a lot about this franchise. I really learned about it from the article that the original Godzilla that Japanese movie that message is about how nuclear weapons shouldn't be used. By anyone there's references to real US nuclear testing that that radiata Japanese fishermen and got them sick. And it ends like, sadly, you know, on a bleak note. But then they repackaged at for America with American hero and a much more upbeat message, and then all the sequels from there where like cool monster fights. It was it was not the sad movie similar to Rambo where it's. It's about a real dark thing. Yeah. And it's all it's also I mean Godzilla, it's the spectacle versus the allegory in a way, you know, it's like Godzilla vs smog. Muster the smog monster is just like generalized pollution. But boy, he's made a smog. I don't know. Like, it's just he's just a pile of garbage that godzillas go. I like to actually that sounds good. You know, I'm not giving the gods. I mean like the movie shin. God Zillah came out in recent years. And that was like a way to they were really playing with like making Godzilla scary again because I feel like over the years. The problem with Godzilla is everyone likes Godzilla, everyone likes a giant robust five hundred foot tall reptile? But all our, you know, there's also a kind of very deep hard dimension to that. And I feel like whenever they they're trying to make a new Godzilla movie that really were at least for you know, for an American audience. They're trying to confront the fact that you're supposed to like Godzilla, but Godzilla also killing thousands of people every time he walks. You know, it's it's it's it's competing messages. One could say there seems to be a kind of thing in the later got Dylan movies where he does a lot of fighting to protect us from other monsters like I haven't I haven't seen the twenty fifteen Godzilla. But this article explains that it makes Godzilla a monster. Who kills other bigger monsters that are coming like kinda kinda like recent King Kong stuff. He saves us from crazy reptiles when you talk make movies about Kagyu in that way. Of course, you want make a mobile and stuff. It's if you're looking for serious Godzilla drama. It's it really muddies the waters because you're supposed to like this giant murderous reptile. And especially like spanning the entire franchise. There's gonna be a new twenty nine thousand nine movie Godzilla king of the monsters. This will come out before that releases unto may it's way nineteen that movie in the Wikipedia description. It describes one of the main characters as being someone who's developed a technology that can control these kaija and had them operate on our behalf in a positive way. Probably. And then this original Godzilla movie all the way back as about how no one can control nuclear power. No, one should have it and no one should use it. It's a complete one eighty of what it used to be about. Yeah. God's they'll should just be able to do it Godzilla can do like it's I don't want anyone one touch in touch in that. From tile. Folks that the episode for this week, my thanks to Syriac Lamar for knowing so many sequels and also so many attempts at sequels like that he he has such a base knowledge. And and a great way of looking at the stuff. I'm so glad he could make the time and have fun with me talking about it. And in our food Newt's, you will find many of the cracked articles that we drew on for a lot of these ideas and also some other things Syriac, and I brought into it about other films and other ways they went about things in particular. I hope you will check out that article by Terry Marie that sites the Rambo deaths and body count and shift their I on a past episode. I was talking about the Jack Bauer kill count as sort of an artifact of the immediately post nine eleven world. The Rambo movies are kind of that for Vietnam. I feel like the Rambo movies have an additional shift in tone. You know? And and then how they've you the world, but suddenly all the sequels we get into a Jack Bauer kill count after in the first movie asking whether there should be killed counts. That's crazy. Fascinating that an entire French. Guys can do that especially when it's kind of the same guys Stallone steering at the hallway. So that's some pop culture for you. And thank you for checking it out, and you're about to hear Chicago fell Kim by the Budo spanned. It is our theme music. This episode was engineered by Jordan Duffy in L A and Jared O'Connell in New York than it was edited together by Chris Sousa, also special thanks to Ashley Warren and to Matt epidemic and Rene culvert for help and set all this up so many people making the show happen. It's great. If you love this episode. That's great. If you hate it. Let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media space where sequels get picked apart pretty much every week because we tend to have sequels every week in the world. They're just always being born. It's amazing. And I don't think that social media's fault. I think they're just fascinating to look at kind of set up the whole show today. Didn't it my Twitter account is at Alex Mathie? My Instagram is at Alex midst to Graham, and I'm on the wider internet at my website, Alex committee dot com reach out there. Talk to me about the godfather or something. And I'm here to say we will be back next week with more crack podcasts. So how about that? Talk to you them. Many thanks to Toronto for their supported today's episode. They are a peer to peer car sharing. Marketplace. That's spelled T U R O, and you can book any car you want whenever you want it from community of local hosts they've got every kind of car in every kind of situation, you could be an, and I think the person sharing it with you wins. Just like you do. So it's a great thing. Download the Turow app. That's T U R O on the app store or Google play or visit Teuro dot com. Get twenty five dollars off your first trip when you sign up for Toronto and use promo code cracked at checkout. Terms apply. This has been an ear. We'll production executive produced by Scott Walker Mond, Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson for more information and content. Visit ear wolf dot com. I everybody Chris gathered here dungeons and dragons week beautiful. Anonymous, not really you just randomly had two phone calls involve dungeons and dragons so put him out in the same week. And that makes it dungeons and dragons week if you don't know beautiful anonymous, I do take phone calls. I take our long phone calls with a non image stranger each week. And one of the episodes coming out this Friday, a skilled and experienced dungeon master happened to call in got through online that me on an hour. Long quest that episode Jephson Friday may tenth Swede dick Yetlis, very silly. I love it. I will murder everyone in this village until I speak to the council. Most of the hill. Here bear on this time and start killing people until this council. Let's me talk say my piece. You you send your giant grisly bear companion are watering people in the street. I guess yes. Tuesday's episode though episode one sixty two it's titled a hero's journey. It's really special out of very powerful conversation with somebody who had not slept in days. I've been out of heard like nearly two days. Now, I just got back this morning from a like eight hour drive to go. Check on a friend of mine who was with idol last night. That's a bad. I'm sorry. She like somebody we played dungeons and dragons with last night was so first time I actually met her. Thinking about this conversation for weeks, so happy I finally get to share it with you. Her story really represents what I love about this podcast and the community that's around it. I hope you check it out subscribed to beautiful stories from anonymous people wherever you listen to podcasts.

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SCOTUS Does Good? National Pride? 6.16.20

The Daily Zeitgeist

1:17:04 hr | 4 months ago

SCOTUS Does Good? National Pride? 6.16.20

"Oh. Hello, the Internet! Let me just wheel in my TV media car with VHS player here we will be watching bloopers. The substitute teacher is in the season one thirty eight episodes. Of the daily guys up production of iheartradio. Look you already know what time it is. What do we do here? We take America's skull. RIP IT Open. Look in their get revolt. Try and convince other people to look inside here and say y'all seeing this to okay we do. We know better than we need to do better, okay and off freak on this. Initially offered or read our Lombardo what it is flush. The Cole brothers for Fox News Rush Limbaugh Fuck, Buck Sexton, fuck these turf authors, anybody who's not about Pacific equality. Fuck them all. We don't have time for you. Maybe we do. and also a shadow to a yet. Another Karen whose career was ruined. By confronting someone who's merely writing black lives matter in chalk on their own. It's Tuesday June Sixteenth Name Is Miles Ray no Aka today because I am thrilled to be joined by my co host so wonderful I in the talented. The thing that makes the ice smooth between period I'm talking about in hockey. Lizanne Zam Herself Jamie Loftus. It's so nice to talk to you I know. It's been a bit. It's a bit. I change I've got I've got. I've got a Little Aka. A little AK is from is from Kristi Yamaguchi main. A baby left Okay, that's all we really. COPS. No pro testing is done. Oh, girls, WE WANNA Yes. See See I was like okay, this is. How you know, so shout out to Christine. Name donus. Zeppelin. Yeah? You know I hear something in this third window pane of this I believe it is our guest. Who is so legendary? Jack failed to fill his shoes when he hired me to Co. host with Thai believe this man is called the wonderful, the one of the kindest human beings I have met. Mr Alex Schmidt to welcome. Alex Holy Cow Trump thank you. It's great to be here. I was also very difficult to stay silent during that BOP OF A. Song, it's hard in the right place really into it. Are You Doing Alex? I'm all right. I I have recently come into some free time. I'm no longer crack podcast tweeted about it. People can go see it. Down got my haircut yesterday. Wonderful partner, who does not cut here and just like stepped up and did it so now my head is. It looks. Thank she? She doesn't amazing job and there was three months of weird hair on their. Really really took some doing. What did you look what what was? What were you before? The the cut the trim? Were you little? hippy style shaggy do. What I do I thought I would just have like long flowing endless hair, but what it turns out, my hair does is like it gets to like season one Jim. Halpern, right, it's pretty shanking, but then instead of continuing it just starts. Doing flips in places. Curly cues and some other place. Like. It looks like I have a crazy belief of what hairstyling should be nice. To stay in. I like that all kinds of little details. It was dogwoods whistling white, right wing conspiracy so you're. All. Post Office, Jim! Jim Halpern here and not Jack Ryan Hair. You know like you want on the right side of history, generally in terms of. Characters that hair right that style of like I feel like. In La I would always hear. My friends called the Douche flip. Of, like win your hair like we got so long, and I was just sort of your vibe. Oh, what was the where people rocking that like because they wanted to have that hair, or was that just sort of like an aesthetic of someone who wasn't really like into getting their haircut, so it's going to look like. Do you get your haircut to look like? That I'm very ignorant. Somebody answer well I feel I. Feel my my take on it is it's I i. hope that no one is doing it on purpose. It would be a really weird choice to be making intentionally. My interpretation of that hairstyles always been like yeah I. Don't really know what to do with my hair. It is what it is I'm more worried about like reading books in flirting like it's. All right right, right? On give fuck you know your dislike all right, do you think? It was like noncommittal metro sexual like when the whole thing was going on. So you know I don't Care Billick I'm GonNa? Look pretty chill at the same time. I don't even know when thousands says accursed. In every single way I don't know I wouldn't put anything past a amid two thousand. John Krasinski I was probably the worst person I was up until the year two thousand seven. I think two thousand seven is when I began to just rethink. Everything I thought was really a human being. We were all processing George. W Bush the ways we could add ED. Yeah, it was. Like when you go to like when you go to like Europe during the Iraq war and someone's like. You American and you're like. I'm like Oh. No, no, no, not me, Japanese. Alex we're GONNA. Get to know you even better. Even more more details about your life that people may not have heard yet on this, but we're going to talk a little bit. Let's give people a little bit of a preview. Some good news, actually some good news, some bad news, and some good news and I think we're going to tell you. That's what the today's episode is going to be. Think from a great decision from the Supreme Court to another terrible decision from the Supreme Court to more tragic loss. And just some maybe some ideas on what to do with some of these racist statues. Like would what do we? What do we replace them with? I think that's a good discussion and my I would be not white people. hey imagine that I up, sup one, but hey. There were doing this phases America. is nothing more satisfying than did you both see that screen shot of the Christopher Columbus statue on Google maps, and it was just like picking a location in the middle of a body of water. It was so I know the Bristle one. The statue that came down in Bristol had the thing like tagged in the bay. Rather than like well, yeah. You love to sit, but hey again. Please let's not let's not mix up these symbols coming down for the actual structural changes. We seek I think that is the thing that we have to trying to move out of as America. Our consciousness typically let's it end with the box. Ticking of thoughts prayers. You know some piece of legislation. That's milk toast, and then we go talk about on Becky. Can you believe she bribed those people to get her daughter? Into College. And Look. We're all guilty of that, but now I think this is a different era, or at least a lot of it is so aller for a second I thought you said. We're all guilty of bribery to get into college and I was like. What is this being recorded? No, don't do. Surely off of those killer sat scores. Were you better math verbal? Alex, you seem like verbal guy. Yeah, okay. Verbal had a verbal guy. Alex. what's some from your search history? That's revealing about who thou art. The latest search thing I've got is it's SRO's. It's the acronym SRO and then plural. And it's because we went Walking. And we went to a protest held by like Durham school students, and it was a protest about defending the police, but specifically getting what are called school resource officers out of the schools because. Single room occupancy like affordable housing. Okay, so we're all. Only. Right now. There's a strict. I'm trying to buzz market now. We we went to this thing and yet it turns out and and I I didn't have a high school like this, but a lot of people have a high school or a middle school or a school where there's a full-time police officer in the building and they they more often than not tend to react the way police are reacting to everything, which is not the environment. You WanNa have grown up as a kid in a school, so it was a really specific and well run protest by like seventeen year olds eighteen year olds a few college. Kids who are home for the summer it was. Amazing. The youth. I. Don't know I don thank you for educating me on. What that as are always to I genuinely didn't know I was days while I said single room occupancy and I was like that can't be what the kids are mad about the. Big thing and talking about how we deal with the house to of Sheriff, building more facilities that are just using this model to get people in stable homes to have address, so they can actually begin to have like shelter, and you know, get applied for jobs and get out of the spiral of poverty. But yeah like you said SRO's a lot, a lot of buzz going around, but I think for a lot of people who were confused about these school resource officers I mean since the advent of the camera phone Elliott. I always remember there being constant footage of like police officers, roughing up twelve and thirteen kids for like talking back, and you're like what the? Is Yeah. Says the. Anyone listening. I would encourage you to check out like on a local level. Like what is the school police work because it does vary so wildly. I didn't even realize until recently how? Overly prevalent. It was in la. There like there was. There's an entire. Branch of the police force and my hometown that is dedicated your jest harassing high-schoolers, but it's like it is. It's different everywhere and it's yeah. Learn about what's going on in your neighborhood because it's I would guarantee more than you think. Oh. Yeah, absolutely. And also, I think poking around I was poking around New York Times had a write up of the latest study is twenty thirteen fourteen school year, and they said that two-thirds of high school students forty five percent of middle schoolers and nineteen percent of elementary school students. Were attending school them that had a fulltime police officer like like one fifth of Grade School. Kids have a COP watching them. What for what are they GONNA? Sharpen their pencil too much like I don't get it. Because, contract for the police that basically use funds that were meant for education to then go back into these systems of oppression, and then we can act those out on our children to begin a cycle of trauma that they can. Just have the awful privilege of knowing very early. That almo sounds bad. Yeah, yeah, it's weird like the the shift rhetorically that I feel like we're having in the country is like. People used to say Shit like the truth out loud like it was a joke. Now people like that is true. Even though he said it was a bit a little bit of charisma, that's interesting. The educational budget is being siphoned off to then further fund this oppressive force of the police to act out. That's Oh. Let's okay. Hey, everybody! If we know better, let's do better. Alex. what is something underrated? Something underrated Avatar the last air bender. Who Long? How long like I know people know it's good, but I had never seen. It pops up on Netflix. We ripped through it. Just like just one at adventure. It's for all ages It's very creative and thoughtful I also am very very big on Bison as an animal. I don't know if people know that mini podcast about it, and it's probably the most prominent bison character I have ever seen. Even though it's a fantastic with six legs and applies, it's a great show. People check it out. Okay so I. Know Jamie. You watched it when we were doing a Netflix's review, you or your eyes were open to the truth. I have since I've I'm almost done. I gotTA. GET IN I. I know because I have a a program of watching things to distract myself. from the horrors of our current reality. And I think a good cartoon like, but not just because it's cartoons, but I think based on how everyone speaks about the series. What the messages and all that sounds! I'm I'm here for it. Is Beautiful I'd also if if. People are looking for a show to watch I also recommend I may destroy you. The new HBO show with Michaela Cole Who is like? I got on board back when she released her first show. Just like unbelievably good. It's so good everyone should watch it. It's heavy, but this had the second episode. Yeah, it's just the there's only two episodes deep, and then if you love it, you can go back and watch her first series chewing gum. which I think might still be on net flicks. I haven't really watched it in a bit, but. Amazing amazing work. She's the best. Okay well. How about something? Even though she is not overrated, Alex. what is something that is? I if this brings people joy like go nuts, but I think baking your bread, is it? It's not something you need to do. You can buy really Nice bread at the store pretty easily, and that's all that time on a I. Don't I don't think people need to do it. What. What's walk US through this? What happened, did you are? Did you arrive at this cake through experience? The Anti Bread Lobby. What happened what happened? So short answer, yes, now quite. It is I have seen people especially tweeted lately the basic idea that like a month ago, everyone was posting their Saudi starters, and now it's entirely the posting the need for social change and. It up, but also I. Think I think the the country was kind of on a phase of we're gonNA. Spend may like needing like we're just going to do that, and then we're GonNa make breads at home. We're not gonNA shop for them, but I think cooking cooking takes a lot out of me, but also I enjoy doing it for a big entire meal or like a whole elaborate desert. A lot out of you like like. That's been in the sun, too. I'm not sure they shouldn't be doing this or like. What are you what? What's the process? Because I like cooking? I. Do like it I. Think maybe whether it's the cookbook or the meal prep thing like I. See the amount of time. It's supposed to take, and then I judge myself alley like it says. Oh, it'll only be like fifteen of active effort, and then I'm chopping for forty five. I'm like why is why am I already? A couple avatar episodes in this crazy. You know how I think. Like you say. What the heck is this? You know I think those recipes, though like those are for people who I can barely get a recipe done in time like that says on a thing, but yet he let that go because like your knife. Skills have to be so on point like you gotta be doing anything simultaneously like to really have your shit together to do so I. Just I'm all about the ride baby. You know it's just all about the right. Then make sense I'm with you. I've I'm never again. It's like it comes from a place of Self, love and self loathing for me. I'm never going to be able to do it. Well or correctly, and so I'm just I'm like Oh. You can make your own bread buck you. Stupid and I can't so. something. Have you have you may have you baked any? Have you made any food at home that you that you have been impressed by with your own? You Know Skills Alex. I'm excited about We made a red chicken curry. Recently, they feel good about. The making like some corn breads that I think are nice as some pastas. They're nice been learning how Zucchini work turns out they're. Very easy to make it home I always thought that was kind of restaurant stuff. You're being someone who is an ignoramus, but. Zucchini works he. Shares told me about this Sukey me. And you said you're in north, Carolina. Yet. So we'll wait, 'cause you were in La Right I know you're how read gone with pandemic and all that so take us on a journey. Jahmai my wonderful partner? Brenda lives here in Durham and I've been here often, and then ever since the pandemic started. I've been like sheltering here because it's great. Durham. Compared to him is awesome. If people don't know the the Research Triangle Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill. They're all all really great. small cities that are full colleges and friendly people, and we're right near the Durham Bulls baseball team stuff land, but it's a nice thing. I had a Durham Bulls fitted hat only because I remember at the house very early on. We had the Kevin Costner Film Bull Durham. On our shelf and I recognize the logo, and then I bought the hat, and I had no idea what it meant. Until someone I went to school with who was from north, Carolina you new Durham. I'm like fuck. VHS Tape that was on my wall. Anybody on the strength of the cover like. One of those things you know like when you're a kid and you try and like make consumer decisions, but you have no life, purpose or fucking experience. You're like trying to be tribute to the other kids at the champs you know or footlocker be like this had is cool man because I. Know This from that movie and they're like I. I'm like I. Don't Know Dude I'm I'm nothing it's. I spent all middle school like saving up allowance and like babysitting money to get a jacks Kellington Hoodie. Although I had never seen, the movie did not know what it was about. I just knew that like I wanted to pop for the goths, and that was the way to do. Way So, did you get? Did you end up getting that Hoodie when you pull it all your money? Eventually, it was kind of like I sort of missed the boat fashion wise for it, but eventually they started to go on clearance and I got him and I wore them outside, and like you know tested. It didn't end up working out, but it was worth the shot, and then I didn't see the movie for like. Still like ten years after that. Way So, then you saw the film in the last seven years. I saw the movie like two years ago. And what do you think now that you now? You're putting really Jack. ICONOGRAPHY with the film. He didn't enjoy it that much on vk. Just like I just knew I like you know, there was such like resurgence of like there was like an ema lyric that was like i WanNa be the Jack to your sally and I was just like I. Don't know what that means, but I like like the people that are saying it so probably. I would like this sweatshirt. I don't like the movie. Though is beautiful, but the story is is trash. Yeah, I can't I just remember seeing it. Live at the Hollywood bowl, they were doing like nightmare before Christmas and I. Always just I don't know I. didn't I wasn't a fan of like the claymation stuff at the time I mean I knew is popular, but I I was so ignorant to how much of a phenomenon it was 'cause. Then I go them the fuck. All these people doing here. People like really go all out for. Christmas and you're like it's kind of just about like a skeleton appropriates Christmas. Best part is like it had Danny Healthman. He was singing like it was like a lot of people from the voice cast. Danielle someone was doing the singing 'cause he was. He wrote the music for it, but it then turned into the most master Batori Performance Danielle men where he's like y'all remember own-goal goal and we're like no, no, no, no! We. Didn't people come here for fucking? Go goal. He will gain for neighbor Mary before Christmas, but I get a captive audience right right? It's like we are all technically trapped here. So I guess I guess. GO OFF! About go bowling again. Oh Man and Alex finally. What's? Man, what's what's something people just? Just dropped. Some truth on people open their minds right now. What's a myth? I think I and this is what I wanted to like. Yell at everyone I see it like. I think there's a myth that we are past the beginning of Corona virus. Stuff might like the people are like we did the beginning. Okay, and now we can start to go back out like the very early part happened. People like we went to this protest on Saturday, and then as we were like leaving to go home, there were like the. Let's hit the bars crowds showing up with no masks. I was pretty upsetting really didn't like it. As a social practice, like like I just kind of three stages like there's the beginning wear, cases are going. Going up, and we don't have good systems, and then there's the middle where cases are backed down, and we have good systems, and then there's like a later date when will have a carrier vaccine or something and we're in the beginning still like people are going to really be careful. They need to stay home if they can. And I think people also to like their I was reading a few threads from medical professionals, some write ups and things just about like the idea of what it means to recover from covid nineteen and there are so many. Yes, there is the version where it's just a flu. There are people also getting lung transplants, and all these other severe severe medical issues. So once I like early on when I was reading about like when people like they don't tell you what it's like when you're even have to be on a ventilator like what that means for you after. When I was like, yes, it's it was easier to feel strong when it was like it could be a flu, but when you look at what the risks are, it's. It's really frightening. Also so discouraging to see people like truly like give up on social distancing ostensibly out of boredom like it like even even people that were still very onboard, and very like no, we have to stick to this even a month ago. Are Now just like I think. We're done like it just it's like it's not like dominant in the conversation. People were just like okay, so this is fine. It's like no, it's not fine. Opening opening reopening, has you know eliminated has brought foam back because four. It was easy to be like I'm not going out. Ain't Shit Open. WHO gives a fuck? I'm inside. We have to do this, but the second you start here. You start seeing people partying over here or going out, eat over there. Some people who I guess are purely just driven by like this need to socialize or be out or consume or be served, or whatever like all that stuff just goes scrape out the window and I wonder how much it also shows in La too right 'cause I can only speak for what I see in this city in state, but are cases are not going. and. We're doing up, yes deal. Going Still. Still. Like yeah, we're reopening and I feel like every person. This is shows how I don't know blindly I. Dunno, this is what I'm trying to figure out and I posit this to this crew here of. Is it a mixture of people just blindly believing that? The state knows what's best, and that's why they're going up. Because you're like well, why would they? Why would they open stuff? We couldn't go out or is it? I'm trying to figure out what's motivating these people because I I'm sure there is a group of people who are just like well. Why would they open if it wasn't safe? But. I think I think it's exactly what you said. Miles and then I think it's also I. Think especially Americans. We just have this mentality that like problems don't last like here about a problem, and then if you stop hearing about the problem, it's probably over, and so it's fine, even though like a problem can just keep going, you know or lay like I I'm not. Not a doctor, I'm not a scientist, but like there was news I read when the started and it said X. things were happening with cases, and I was like time to stay home, and then I read the news now, and it's like the same stories I should keep staying home. That's all I know. I'm just a guy who has twitter, but that's what I see. Some of it does feel like social media brain of just like if people aren't seeing it in there feeds constantly. They're just like oh I guess I guess that's done. which is applies to many situations right now. I don't know some of it is just. It seems like just straight up willful. Arrogance where like I had a family friend back in Massachusetts, still like throw her daughter a graduation party and her reasoning. Was that like well? We understand social distancing at this point like we like. The vibe was very like we get it. It'll be safe and it's like if you're bringing people into your home. Is Not safe like and there were old people. There is just yeah I think the assumption of like okay. I know how to socially distant and feeling like you. You Know Uh. No one knows how to deal with this correctly so so going in with that mentality as dislike. Bound to be a disaster. Well and even to your point, Alex like America. Has this habit of? Entering a period of self, examination or awareness around something, and there's definitely a threshold for pain that. You know the collective consciousness of America is willing to sort of endure, and once we get past that it's like okay. Do we really have to keep talking about this anymore? Because I think for Corona virus, it was you know people just sort of got to the point where now they're discomfort around having to deal with the truth is just too much, and it's just a rejection of reality. It seems like and I think just even to what you're saying about. Ignoring problems that persist whether that's systemic racism Homophobia transphobia genocide of indigenous people whatever it is. People are willing to look at it to a point, and then it when it becomes too uncomfortable, say okay. Can we please stop? Can we stop actually like I get? It I get it just to your point even to Jamie about this person say so. Yeah, we get it. We get it. It's not like no, no, no, it's not that we just the point. Was You for you to be that? Social distancing is needed and mar goal a step further and understand what the risks are to you and other people. What's in the same way with people coming having this? Moment with racism in the country. Go a step further now and understand what that is experiencing, not just sort of like right i. get it I. Get it right. These things aren't happening free to have you get it like right. That, that's not how events work. That's not how the world works, and it just yeah. I. Think but I didn't even I. Guess to go deeper when you look at even how we're educated, right? We're even in our own. Were shown like this thing like then there was this problem and that went away, and then there was this thing, and then that went away, and then there was Hitler and Nazis went away, and then there was this and. It's to a completely robs people of the ability to parse through. The nuances of you know how any given event unfolds, and then how that that event echoes into? ity If there isn't a reckoning with it. Yeah and a tendency I've been trying to reflect on this more recently of just like how it's very. It seems very common in the way we're taught history. Especially, it's like there was a gigantic systemic problem, and it was solved by one or two people, and then the problem hasn't existed since where like I've been because my mom's a second grade teacher and I've been talking about like well. What do you teach your kids and like? You know what broad lies are still being taught to kids, and it's still like in a lot of schools. It's basically taught that like. Like Martin Luther, King solved racism basically single handedly and now know great, and now it's gone and real textbook should say Martin Luther King was assassinated when he began to connect the dots for people between capitalism and oppression. The books not reflect that I would be off from the burn your high brows off. Could level of truth coming out? Textbook, but but even then it's like not even hot because that's just the grim reality of it, but we like. Don't say that it's like. Don't say what the truth because it's so dark and engine capitalism as a concept at all as a part of history like never came up in a class that I took in high school well, but that's what the schools are also taught like through this process of academia to become workers also like that's the that's our training first, and then we enter the workforce where we've been fully indoctrinated in inoculated. Know How to do this, and then you get that, and that's how it works I do this I. Do my homework I get a great I do my work I get a paycheck. It's all. Man There's a lot is south of this, and then I prop up the system by telling people to depend on the man for bread when. I'm a stooge guys. Listen to be. Bred. For Alex. Anyway big bread. We'll get to you after this commercial break. Guys just hold tight. We'll be right back. And we're back and some good news from the Supreme Court. They have decided that title. Seven actually does apply to. LGBT QA Americans that you cannot be discriminated against fired against. Based on sex, and that that has been upheld. That magin. What side the Supreme Court like the one we got and. Neil. Gorsuch wrote the opinion. The his I mean I guess it was a lot of people could say like gorsuch he he regards himself as a textualist of the laws, and we'll like he looks at the words, and what the words mean, and he could tell based off that he's like. How could this not apply to? Trans? People are gay people like back in the. Jition, he's a word magician. He look at words and make interpret them to mean things that they don't say. Yeah. It was and then cut to. Who is it? Alito. wrote the dissenting opinion, and it was just so I could barely I I mean I don't really like to read. These opinions 'cause they're so wordy, but like this time I was kind of interested. The dudes like head was on fire like. It was so clear that this was just sort of like. Well, what the heck you know! Does this is what they meant cigarettes about men and women this. Back. So The descent in an email forward throw it just all caps. Yeah sure. I believe that it was it cavenaugh and Clarence Thomas where the other justices who? Voted against US which six three. That's not even that's wasn't even a five four. It's a sad and they all decided to really be on. That's Fook. Is. It is like it is great progress. I feel like gets news. That is is needed right now. And and so it's I'm very excited about it. I'm glad that like cavenaugh. Especially, as getting like rightfully lit up online for because he basically promised that this is how he was going to vote. There are there are a few things that are worth mentioning as a part of it, so this is. Like the. Plus community, being granted a basic civil right but I wanted to just my friend, and who's also a wonderful comedian. You Follow Her Grace Thomas. pointed out based on her own experience. I'll just read a tweet of her. She says we've won. The civil rights part of the fight now onto the later part of the fight. Any state with right to work legislation is still effectively a state where employers can fire trans and queer employees for their identities and simply blame it on something else so. As. Incredible as this decision is as in the right direction, the decision is it. It's frustrating in some ways because it mainly prevents mask off discriminatory firings, and that is not to say that Queer people. Trans people are fired for other reasons and that's us all. No, it wasn't about. On, you know, and I and I know it wasn't about that because if it was about that I wouldn't be able to fire them. Therefore I will be smarter in my discriminatory practices and use the law to my advantage. Yeah, it's true because. On one level it's like. We have these things that are granting people, people rights, and it is making sure that certain forms of discrimination aren't. Being able to still acted out, but yeah I think I'm not sure how this also applies to housing. I think they're still might be something involved with the housing. Act that may also, this may also be another frontier that we have to also make sure that we're making progress on. But this also ties into that just horrific announcement on Friday. From the trump administration, health and human services was basically saying like we're GONNA fuck. We're rolling back all the protections for lgbtq people when it comes to healthcare and health insurance on the anniversary of the pulse nightclub shooting during pride month, and everyone was saying like what if they're really going for it? They just want to inflict maximum pain and trauma. These people and our neighbors are co workers, and when you look at a lot of people were suggesting that this was just them trying to signal what their position was before. The Supreme Court ruled on this. Because this would have a I'm not completely sure but I have a feeling. This would also affect people discriminating. Based on sex in any kind of medical context as well. That's my understanding of it I was I'm still trying to figure out the exact ramifications that like if the Supreme Court decision affects what was announced on Friday at all from what I can tell, it most likely doesn't. The ACLU did a post on it. on the decision on the context of the decision that. Says that federal laws against sex, discrimination, cover, housing, education, healthcare, jury, service, and credit, so it's it's unclear to me I. think that there is still The the ACLU is still pushing for the Equality Act, which is a way more. Inclusive like across the board. Equal Rights Act I'm I I'm not quite sure I mean I think. Affects this all this to say is that this isn't for not fully there either way regardless of what this is because until we just make the blanket law of the land that it does not matter the fuck you are. If you need some you will help. You will get medical care we don't. Are you okay? Do you have a heart and blood and your human? Okay great steps? We will take care of you until we like really articulate those kinds of values as laws. Laws, this struggle will continue and I think Mrs. Just sort of this is part and parcel of how America does progress right, we make enough. A points are made. There's a tipping point of representation enough that it will be like Oh. Okay, we have to acknowledge this group of people. Here's here's it here. Are some reforms definitely steps in the right direction but I think always were in the pursuit of like real real real real equality, and when you think about how. You know how less likely some trans people might be to get you know treatment for cove it because they don't want to be. They don't want someone asking what their sex isn't being discriminated like being denied medical care possibly like that's an awful awful situation to be in, and this is again, but this this is basic shit that we're having to. Still you know do to make sure that everybody is. included. Yes and I I know people say with a lot of problems they're like. Be sure to vote and where we say the correct thing of like voting doesn't fix all of it, but with the specific thing of this, I feel like voting goes a long long way. Especially, because like the supreme court sort of reactively handles the absolutely massive constitutional stuff, and then like Congress, in particular and state legislatures will write all the important laws for the other stuff, so you know know who's running for Senate House and you're. You're weird. State legislature know about interesting. I shouldn't even call it weird. It's thrilling. Does that excite? You Hope it, does you? Know. Who represents you at every level like? You'RE A fucking herb? If asked who your city council person is, your Congressperson is your status and you don't know who that is. Don't come in here talking about your WanNa. Be Ally and you WANNA. Make stuff different if you can't even if you don't even know who to speak to, that can make the changes that we need. So it's very easy. It's so easy to just google like what City Council district, my inner, who's my assembly person? Really find out those people because you will be surprised. The kind of the platforms Iran on are not as inclusive as you'd think just because they A. Claim blue or Democrat or whatever? I think that's areas a lot of. Shit going on behind the scenes it has been it's inspiring motivating to see more and more people get on board with local politics, and like learn more about like. If you don't know, simply just educate yourself on it like it is not difficult to do. There's a lot of people who are also doing it right now, and yeah, look your cities or counties budgets just look at those. Just take a look at those. See where they see where the money's going to just inform yourself because you will be surprised. You're like what I. I thought Oh. No, you're like my aunts teacher, but they're giving this way more weird. Yeah, there's like majority blue. There's like blue cities that are still I mean L. A. Being one of them. That is giving billions of dollars to police forces and the city council is completely on board with it because of the various ways that they've been bought campaigns all that Shit. Meanwhile in the city, we're trying to just focus all of our efforts to get one different city council person, and who's not like fully bought by real. and unions like it's to the point where like I'm not even the district on like okay. So how much money do I have to raise for this in district four grade? Let's go do totally because everyone else is such a frigging tool of. Anyway these get involved in your local politics. Please just. And also honestly very exciting that six holes Supreme Court justices said that Trans people have civil rights in a general way like I, want it to be nine, but six is more is more than a bare majority. All right cool. Yeah, we can't I mean slowly. It's a slow march there, but I. I'm hopefully we can pick up the pace because I feel like. Were you know we're in the midst of something? Where people are opening their hearts a bit more to understanding what it means to take care of everyone, and what it means to be human I think you know I, think white people? People certain group certain amount of well-intentioned White, liberal people and maybe conservatives woke up to what it meant to be black or connected the dots of humanity to blackness I. Don't know what, but that is definitely occurring for some people, and hopefully people can begin to put these things away. If not, you're saying someone is black, or someone is trans, or someone is gay or someone from this, you can find a million ways to describe somebody as different than you, but you're overlooking the basic thing, which is that as a human being, and if you are even somebody who could be looked at as someone different. And, would you want someone to look at you differently and say Oh, I'm not gonNA fucking. Help that person because they're blink like that's the kind of mentality. I think we're slowly trying to to abandon where there are some high their qualifiers to the level of humanity that you deserve. And that by not doing that, you're enabling the. Prejudices like Taylor. Would this with rolling back? Health protections for for Trans People. It's like trans. People are already facing a huge uphill battle with most medical professionals, and to further roll back is going to I mean it it. Is Inhumane. It literally costs lives. It does not force any medical professional to have to learn or acknowledge. transpeople, it's just yeah. Thing I'm just kind of overall I. Feel like I feel like I'm witnessing in terms of like the discourse. Is that like? That! The ruling the people in the ruling positions the ruling class the. Socio socioeconomic classes that are well up there past the one percent. Just they really don't get it. They really really really have. Completely disconnected themselves from the reality of regular people and cannot. Completely unable to read the room because. They're so used to a system or culture that allowed them to. That now that they're finding themselves in a place where like the trump, the trump administration was like. Oh they literally said they were caught off guard by the level of blowback from scheduling, their rally on June, eighteenth and Tulsa Oklahoma. And then okay, we'll do the twenty s I mean I think they did, but I think they also figured maybe not enough. White people would also be upset about that. You know what I mean because they're. They're fine being cruel at any juncture like they're fine with that. That's the whole point, but some for them to say like Whoa. We didn't expect this kind of blow back. We're caught off guard that means like we next like some other white people to tell us this was bad to okay. which is just it is so like for Avian on so many levels just like Oh, wait. Everyone gives a fuck about like black history. Hold on! We didn't what like it's just. Shocked by that you know about this other room full of other white people in the same generation who have been making millions of dollars for the last twenty years. Did you guys see this Mike? Well, they didn't talk about that. The Country Club or wherever the fuck I go to socialize. Dark money meetings there. At the Wind Cave Circle Jerk. Your phone in a shredder at the beginning and. I phone at the end of the meeting. But it's just I. Mean When I. Look at stuff like that and I look at some of the reforms reforms, not looking not not not full on abolition reckoning. defunding de emphasizing but reforms that cities are offering up in response. These demonstrations are also indicative that they do not. They're not hearing us. They don't get it and I think part some do because they know what it means to give the people what they want, which would mean you know crippling, a whole industry of militarized police and prisons that have been making billions of dollars. But I'm just looking at the reforms right in, Minneapolis Saint. Paul, I think they're doing a good job because they were media like okay. We're GONNA we're. GonNa try and figure this out, but there's still like. We're still seeing things that other departments of like we're going to prohibit warrior, style, training, or just a ban on all neck restraints, or let's not use rubber bullets anymore, or let's just do a police body cam video must be released within three days of any police use of serious or deadly force. Okay, that's not these are not the things that people are asked again. These are just tokens are symbols. But I think I feel like so many people are beginning to see the police departments in their cities for what they are. Yeah, I truly I truly had no idea it could be different until all this started like I. I was like Okay I've I've played Sim city? You have to have hospitals and fire and police. You have to build all three of those. Otherwise everything goes crazy great. No, you can just do it differently, and I learned that like two weeks ago, which feels crazy? It's like a not not at crazy in a bad way, just like holy cow. What a thing I was not aware of until right this month. You know, right? And it does fill so disingenuous for the reform argument to keep cropping up as I feel like as the weeks go on less and less people want reform. It's not like the desire for police. Reform is increasing. I feel there's people that you know I was talking to two weeks ago. That are like well. That's relax us to reform. That are now you know now that they've learned more and educated themselves. A little more are more inclined to embrace abolition entirely. It just seems like it's a response to a demand that is not actually happening, because if you just think of it right even if you said lack. In places where there isn't a lot of social support or the local economy is depressed like if someone said, what do you think is motivating people to commit crimes? Some most people say it's a lack of support. It's a lack of access to education. It's a lack of access to healthcare. They're just generally no upward mobility, so you see increased crime out of desperation and otherwise, and that's what you're seeing, but then so, but the county's answer or the city's answer to that problem is well. Why don't we just get more people to fucking shoot them? And then they'll stop being bad right. That's essentially the logic. Because then we'll put more police in there. They'll be shook when they see all these cops. That'll get them to think twice when they when they realize they're living in a country that is completely abandoned them for centuries like I. Don't know what. It's a seem so disingenuous and I think we. We have this thing where these reforms. All they do is just further this process of denial. Because if by saying, we just need to reform things you're not. You're avoiding the real conversation here about like. What are these police doing in the context of making US safer? Is this conversation about making us safer and making us an increasing our wellbeing, or is this about this concept of crime and the good and the bad, and these fucking dudes have to show up in Diet, SWAT team, outfits, or or full on Swat outfits? Yeah, avengers mode. It doesn't make it, and that's all people were saying like. Just, put the money into help like let's help people. You know. It feels like the way that some conversations are going is like well. We should get police for the police you're like. What. Video tiny guns for your. We'll protect your gun. Time. There is no conceivable situation where the like where the police should need a separate group of people to stop them from brutalizing citizens. Like is just have less. Get rid of the people brutalizing citizens, and the fact that I mean. I've been trying to talk to my friends and relatives about police abolition I. It is always helpful to remind people that a lot of these reforms that are being proposed have already are already in place like these are things that should already be happening but because of the ways that police are. Trained and empowered and have found ways around like it's establishing these rules a lot of for a lot of police departments. These rules are already there and people are just disregarding them, and like it's a, and they've done a really good job of creating all these structures that will protect them from actually account having to account for the wrongdoing whether that's like the WHO investigates them internally. What happens then if there are laws to protect them from lawsuits, can they? They can still get their fucking pensions. Even if they fired for this kind of stuff like it's almost, it's like what you're gonNA. Do you fired me? Guess what I still get my dear. I still stands to get a million dollars from his pension after murdering George. Because, these are how these laws are set up because being a police officer. You WanNa talk looting. That's what they're doing and you. In in La, right like so over the weekend. I was talking I was on a like a sort of QNA. Call with NITYA. Who is running for city council seat four for district, four in La, and she's one of the few pe-. She's a city planner. She's highly highly motivated to begin to dismantle these systems of oppression and inequality in the city, but that's tough, because everybody else on that council is bought by everybody, and she had a really stunning stat that she mentioned on this call saying that less than twenty five people in the entire city that are meant to do like one on one. Engaging with our in house, population in the city only twenty five. We have over. Yeah! In the city I don't know if it's a county, but I know in the city. That's what it is, and the city is gigantic, and when you look at the numbers that we have that homelessness has gone up by fourteen percent. It's not but. Before Corona virus, it went up by fourteen percent right who knows with the second housing crisis? That's coming along with an administration that says that giving people unemployment is disincentivising. Or describing it like that. This is where the real. This is the real war. That's happening. You know because, but you know we were convinced that. Oh well. Maybe we need to work harder whatever no, no, no, this is! This is all being set up for people to make more money off of our pain and walk off laughing and I just WanNa. Bring up that with all of these reforms that we've seen because we don't want reformation. We want transformation at a bare minimum you Andrew Cuomo. He? They passed a few few laws. Great great steps forward, but then he said quote. This governor Andrew Cuomo of New York on Saturday said you don't need a protest, you one okay quote. You Accomplished Your Goal Society says you're right. The police need systemic reform and he's trying to end the outrage there and thinks that this can be bottled up. This cannot be bottled up because we still have. We're still talking about Toying Salau. who was killed in Florida after reporting that she was assaulted. And the police failed to protect her. We still have. We still I'm sorry. Who was the young woman that was killed in Akron Nikki Aquatic Crawford with somebody pulled up to a car and just shot her through her window, a black woman and they said a white man had just killed her at a stop light. We we're not having a reckoning with the real systemic issues and the pathology of racism in this country. It's just really disheartening so I. Don't when some governor is trying to say. Hey, you guys one. We haven't won till I. Don't have to read about another black. Trans Woman Dying Black Trans Person Dying, any trans person being denied care any homeless person, any une house person being denied care any person who's been brutalized by police, not getting justice. These are the kinds of things that that's when that's when things can end, but but it's not going to as long as we get these milk toast reforms. Fuck out of here. That's yeah that is like the danger of incremental and people like where we were like well. What's wrong with you know in in in stating eight can't wait and like what's wrong with. It's like okay. When you do that, you're get if you know. Someone like Cuomo, passes a very very very basic reform. They're just going to say I did something we're done. Let's move on. Let's go back to the status quo. It's like if you're not pushing for what the ultimate goal is you know people are. People will always find a way to halfway ad or In this case, not even halfway it like the police have never. Respected, human life less like it's just yeah, that quote from him was infuriating. Best that said Andrzej added because it. The most surprising thing to me is I feel like nationally for all police officers there should have been like a automatic quiet reform going on of just all of them knowing this isn't the time you know what mean like like if like. If I was a police officer right now, I would know like it's more likely than ever that if I do something crazy. Crazy brutal, it'll be national news like people are paying attention, and in spite of that. We've got Atlanta this weekend and we've got everything else gone I like they didn't ramp down at all. So that's the one thing. Let's say Oh let's do a reform that tells the police to be a little slower to do something brutal. You would think like the news did that, didn't they're just doing only. As being ignored, I mean we have like last week. In Seattle and in Portland, there are cases of the police saying we're. Not GonNa, we'RE NOT GONNA. Use tear-gas anymore and then twenty five seconds later. They're using it again. That's a different kind of tear gas. Yeah that's actually did tear gas from Canada as Canadian like it. Like these these systems will always find an excuse to if they feel like they can get away with giving you two percent of what you actually want. Then they will do that and call it a day, right. and not to say like repealing fifty a and new. York is a huge deal because it basically says it all your records or your performance, stuff will be out there to see, but even in Minnesota. People knew about Derek Chauvet, so it's not because that's just one. That's just one part of the game to obscure. The actions of police is the things like fifty, but at the end of the day. They're still if they don't have a reckoning with themselves, it's not going to happen. Because essentially no, I mean I know that policing is diverse, but let's be real. It's an expression of toxic. Toxic white male supremacy, so you're GONNA act the same way that all these white comics did when people start getting woke NBA rather than like seeing what time it was just reasserting themselves, and like not what the fuck man! This is bullshit, Dude! We've been doing this for you now. You WanNa change all fucked at like. That's the energy of the police right now. It's the same way when somebody has to evolve, but their privileged has not ever afforded them the chance to be reflective or see themselves for anything a aside from the good guy that they've just deluded themselves into believing they are. And it's the same and watch and I I don't know. This is just kind of this is a theory, but much in the same way combat get canceled and goes to all right. I think the cops are already alright, right so. ALGA. Abby finding if they're like the cops are learning from Louis C. K.. Before we get to that, let's just let me just cut off and let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. You were saying. Oh, I, there's been so much news I forgot about that wave. When a bunch of white older comics, where like I will be damned if I have to continue to write, you know it was great. Okay by. Me The problem. But that's the arrogance whiteness afford some people is to not ever look at themselves as being in the wrong. Because white faces and narratives have dominated, the reality is we've consumed for centuries? So that would be jarring I. Yeah, but. But this that's what time it is right now so get. Punched ticket don't be an asshole and then have to tell people. You're wearing a Maga hat in the summer of twenty twenty. Okay? Moving on. This should not be a surprise. There's a new Gallup poll out saying that. Americans aren't feeling too good about the state of things here in this country now I've never been one to wave a flag or own clothing with USA like emblazoned on it. I think old navy tank tops miles Nah. I fucked with old. Navy won the performance fleas boom died out. On Navy performance, we own navy. Remember that Shit. I was fucking with performance lease. And Old Navy was tight. Because you go in there fucking twenty bucks you come out with a whole new outfit, yeah. And they'd be like Oh my what happened. You don't worry baby so. Alf Performance lease outfit. I digress. But you. Wouldn't I? Think most people right I? Think thinking American people who have a sober. I'd take on what this country is aren't probably view this country as a failed experiment with pockets of decency and fantastic pr just spent. The PR is actually the best thing about this comp. This country because we're doing all kinds of shit and people think we're number one, and then the UN is like We should act. Maybe need to send like poll observers to what's the elections? We need to talk about human rights violations because I think the PR scheme is starting to wear thin a bit, but now there's this Gallup poll that has been going on for twenty years, and for the first time the like the the view of how Americans feel about. The country has hit its lowest since they began this poll for only twenty. So right now. It's still a majority. Don't get me wrong. Sixty three percent say they're extremely or very proud. But that is still the lowest figure ever the highest right after nine eleven when it was ninety two percent, and only a percent of the country realized what America was doing abroad to bring that kind of terror to the country. And then? The dixie chicks. And if so forty. So when they break it down only twenty percent of respondents in the entire thing, though said they're satisfied with the direction of the country, which is very interesting, and even like among conservatives, sixty seven percent of Republicans now describe themselves as extremely proud. That's a nine point dip from last year. Wow. That's where Republicans now. I don't know if they are responding to the. It could also be like I. Hate what this country's doing. Look at what George Soros is getting ANTIFA. Do these fake deaths of George flow like if they're on that kind of thing, and that's what they're responding to, but or if they're like. This is this is bad I think it almost on how you're engaged are interesting because I feel like what is reflected. Here is like when people are saying whether they're proud to be an American or not. I feel like more often than not people who are responding to like an image of the idea. They have of America and like what you've been told your whole life. It stands for and not always what it actually as I wanted actually is. Doing so I don't know. Yeah. Maybe people are just kind of not only seeing what's happening right in front of them, but. Perhaps realizing they have been sold ally, I hope so, and even if you're waking up to it, don't feel bad. Just realized that now you have to do. That's. Just, on your sleeves up and I've seen this tweet, said a thousand times over the weekend from a lot of black twitter. Users of saying like. Oh. Wow, you're really getting tired of thinking about race in this country. okay. You're getting tired okay. Fantastic and I'll leave it there because. This is this is the work we have to do and I think you should be excited that you could possibly be in a time in American history where we could do something significant. But you don't the second. Those distractions come back. That's what I get worried about. Why also 'cause I? I'm SORTA surprised. This poll didn't find more people who are upset about America. Because like that's that's the kind of question where you could come to. I'm upset about America or not feeling good about same age like a lot of ways that you could say come to it from the way of like there are too many people against trump lately. BECCA reason right. Like I remember when I stopped watching the NFL or football general. It was because I think like the brain injuries are scary, and they have like covered up evidence of a giving people, long-term concussions and problems in like I, have those reasons and I would tell people that without getting to the reason why and occasionally they'd be like yeah, too many people kneeling right and I was like no, no, no, I'm not on your team. No, no different different thing. We're separate at so with this pride. In America thing I could see a lot of people being like you know it was a great country, but then liberals started Blah Blah Blah there could be a lot of reasons for the definitely the lowest. It's been for Democrats to because when they break it down by Party, Democrats are always a little are obviously going to be. Be More. Critical condition. Some people I I don't know who on the right could be critical of America for the right reasons aside from you're saying like I don't know if people disrespected the commander in chief and let the president lead the country. We'd be in a lot better place. Okay, yeah, yeah! I'm sure that people are responding to a lot of different ideas here. Are expressed under the same umbrella. Yeah! The point is everyone is disappointed. Hopefully I tried to go to quiz. Knows and I couldn't eat it sitting inside the restaurants like. That show we're talking about it is. Stemming racism systemic what. Oh. I don't know I don't want to think about that. I'd rather than actually I'd like to pivot back to quiz knows. Okay, cool. Do you remember the prime rib pepper corn sub do do they have that I'm sorry? No, we were talking about okay. That's too much his nose knowledge. Hop Off in your Ford. Ranger, we'll see. Okay and finally just wanted to bring up. You know this idea on yesterday's show I. Don't forget how much they talked about it, but it's very nice to see all these. These manifest physical manifestations of of of slavers in the forms of statues and flags and things start coming down. And places like Belgium. King Leopold man you want. If you didn't know, there's look, make it easy. There's a behind the bastards, so about King Leopold, and what he did in the Congo. Check that out because if you really want to understand like. This is not an this is not an American thing. This is a global thing. This idea of white supremacy, and the subjugation of non white people is a it's been around. And actually a lot of our greatest enlightenment, thinkers helped begin to create these ideas that would actually be rationalizations for black subjectivity around subject. This is a centuries long thing we're dealing with, but it was nice to see these symbols come down, because clearly people we. We all got on the same page survey, says racism bad slavery bad. It used to be a hot take. No longer so the statues come down. And now like a lot of people are asking. What do we replace them with? What are we GONNA do? There's like a statue of. nathanial Bedford forrest who I knew he was in the KKK because of forrest gump. Because I believe his first name was based off of his last name that. That sculpture came up in one, thousand, nine, hundred, ninety eight, and you know they are more and more people want to get rid of this thing. And there's been all kinds of talk about what do we do? Can we replace it, can we? What do we do with these statues like Robert? E Lee? Do we put it up with someone from Guar? Or do we? A statue of Flavor in New Orleans and put up Britney. Spears I'm sorry. New Orleans I didn't mean to say New Orleans will cancel myself off. And put it up with Britney Spears, or in Tennessee. How about a great Tennessean Dolly? Parton I think these are good ideas I in general just to be like replace them with people. The State is proud of and it's. Not just. Like non-problematic white people. At feels like A. Not Not quite I don't know. I think it's. Some Americans. It's GONNA is it takes a minute. They just some people just got to the point that slavery bad, okay. on fourth. And that was that already took some some one hundred odd years. But now it's like we'll put them. Another white person, so white people don't get mad that person who is nice your yeah that I was. I was just reading like casually. I'm like trying to find out like who some of like you know. Nashville's great black people are from history black Tennesseans and there's so many so many stories that you could include. That are so amazing. There's one about this slave named Jack Making and if you're anyplace, name Macon is named after the slave owner owning family. And his master, the man who owned him saw that this slave had a knack for healing. People in treating like wounds and help just has like a healer, a doctor to the point where this white man had him practice on white people and white people were like Oh my God this Jack Guy. He is able to like he's. He's got a skill, but this. But when they got busted, this day was like slaves can't practice anything like that's impossible. No, no, no, they're not human like shame on your your owner. Blah Blah Blah the owner went across the state to try and. Skirt authorities to allow this man to practice more and a lot of the white patients that he was seeing like. We're signing petitions to try and get the state to allow him to practice medicine because they even saw objectively like this guy has he's doing something that is beneficial to us. And like in down to the point where he's like listed in Nashville earliest records as one of the first doctors, but it just said Dr Jack because he didn't have a last name because he was owned, he was not a human, so he was listed as Dr Jack and just a really. That's that's an interesting story from our history because we all look. I think is another opportunity for many people to look at the history of their own cities, too, because a lot of great things have been done, but there's a reason why certain names are elevated, and others are suppressed. or any number of like. Why aren't there more? We need more like I to be well. Statues. We need more of statues of of radical black thinkers who are putting the work down. That hopefully will be a roadmap to this new sense of liberation. A lot of people are moving towards, but. I don't know. Take. I didn't know anything about Dr Jack that's I, didn't either. That was merely me just being like who were some. Black Tennessee in history. There's another man named Bonzo Sumner, who started one of the first black schools in Nashville before the civil war, because trying to educate black people, but that was illegal, so he was chased out, and he went ended up going to Cincinnati then this another man named Daniel Watkins started a black schools in Nashville to the point where like in eighteen fifty something up to. To eighty percent of black people in Tennessee were literate because of schools like this because they were, they were ill easily educating themselves, because ignorance is the way people are kept down and I think that's a thing that people learn very early on. These are the kinds of stories. I feel like people would talk about more to because there's so much I don't know there's just so much. Substance! There to not to say look I stand Dolly Parton. Okay. Don't get me wrong about no Dali. If we're if we're, having A. Conversation about of a racial reckoning in this country and taking down statues of KKK. Grand Wizards than I think what you'd WanNa do is someone that was diametrically opposed to that now stand on that space because that would be something that would be some at least some small form of like a reclamation and Dolly. Parton has the greatest monument you can have which has dollywood. It's an excellent burkhart. KGO? Go there Fred Oh great. Yeah, if this could be reframed kind of as an opportunity, not to just replace statues of racist oppressors with just people who aren't racist oppressors, but as an actual educational opportunity of if if these statues are going up where you live you, could you stand a chance to learn? About someone, you may not have known about at all and like. Yeah the opportunity. Is there Saddam there? There's no. There's no use in making a lateral move. No, that's why I think why of especially. Unfortunately to say that we're no longer waiting to delay. Equality is is going to begin being painted as a radical stance because I think like most people right? Incremental change is not helpful especially when we are sober and clear eyed enough to diagnose the problem. If we can see the problem, we have a responsibility to solve the problem. There's just no. There's no way around that and I just don't even understand rhetorically how you could say like. Yeah, we know that racism is the problem, but let's deal with this other stuff on the way there could will. You just set okay. Well Yeah especially. Like people are getting told Oh. You should have done the legal way of removing the statue. When you just look it up in a lot of cases, it turns out. People tried like the statue in Bristol England of a famous slave trader like people had been trying the legal way for a long long time, and the city stonewalled at, and then they tore it down like like it's not just situations where people are up and up ending it like they tried other ways to right and I think that's also like voting is only part of this new way of getting changed because when people put feet, put their feet on the street. Look. How much look! How many things changed because of that? Because people noah voting is too nebulous, they're. They're telling up numbers on a spreadsheet at the end of the night on that Tuesday. That's how that's how a lot of politics! If. You're lucky, yeah? Right. Right exactly assuming that we even have that basic, you know right met then. But after when you see millions of people in the street that basically signals thing to people that. There's a lot of people who care so much. They're going out Anyway? But we'll see 'cause I I'm part of me is still like skeptical that. You know because of just the nature of how this country is. Try to resolve issues with racism that this could be another moment where everybody's foot off the gas. And like in it was it happened is be a perfect storm of. Time to focus because of a pandemic and things like that, but we'll know when sports are fully back up and all these other things, if we're still willing to have these conversations, and if people are not willing, and you're listening to the show, we have a responsibility to make sure people do. Keep talking about this because you know we. It seemed like most people were on the same page unless it was performed live. Anyway Alex. Isn't a solution technolog- -ment. Thank you so much for stopping by Schmid A. Blast thank you. Working People will find you follow you. What's The tweet you like? oh. Yeah, I'll pop twitter. You can me on the Internet I'm Alex. Medi on twitter and at Alex, midst Graham on Instagram, and I also have links there for a like little newsletter. It's tiny letter. Dot Com slash Alex Schmidt he next show, and you can find what I'm doing next by. Just sign up for that newsletter, and then forget about it and focus on important thanks. I'll let you know when the time comes what I'm doing next. And I'm also I got to guest on a great show called the door forest at hosted by Jackie is a nice, nice and and really funny. dorks not soon to. It's a show where. You get to talk a whole lot about something. You're particularly dorky about so. I got to talk about Grover Cleveland and also talk about an abolitionist named Benjamin Lay, and felt great right like I I could talk about history until my head falls off, so that was really nice was a good time all right? Well, challenge accepted If you guys don't see the livestream where Alex's head comes off. Drop a dollar. And is there tweet that you like? Yeah, this is this is from Joel Stein, a writer and and does comedy, and the Tweet is as the world embraces authoritarian personality cults. One of the greatest strengths of Joe Biden is that no one is excited about him. Yeah no one is excited about him. He's not going to be one of those great. Tweet it sounds funny, though too and like people like Oh. Look, trump can't even drink that water and stuff I'm like Dude Joe Biden said he was going to be Joe Biden in the general election. Jamie Jamie Yami Yonis Zamboni Zamboni. Where can people find you follow you? What's tweet you like? you can follow me on twitter at Jamie. Loftus help if you're so inclined but you know. Keep talking to your family. Keep reading. Keep doing shit. Don't take your foot off the gas. All recommended Djibouti. tweet is not a bad one in existence His tweet is why people immediately like self care is so important to avoid burnout in these times for example I just found out yesterday that black people are human, and I immediately needed a nap heart. Shit truly. He's the best. You can find me miles of gray twitter instagram playstation that work awesome other podcast for Twenty Day, fiance. Talk about that trash ninety day, fiance, some tweets I like. Typical I, one from at Redux said. Wait smiling woman in a Hoodie. Saying my ship might not be perfect, but it certainly isn't helpful either. At least think about that. Please be affected. Let's be affected the onion. The onion city enters face for of pretending corona virus over because that's really what some places really look like, and also the last one is from Nick. estes Nick Underscore W. underscore s this, says historian here, tearing down a statue is not a racing history putting up a statue on land whose original caretakers you can't name is. Yeah Chew on those facts for their Yes, the daily Zeitgeist is a production of IHEART radio, and you can find us on twitter daily Zeitgeist instagram at the daily Zeitgeist. Facebook fan page and if you want some more pocket Chicago, I heart, radio, APP, or wherever you could cast a website daily Dot Com poster APSOS. and like you know we post that in the songs you right out to song today is attract by dirty art club. great little producer vary sample based trippy soundscape S- that are nicest to this track is called Park Dick Garden by dirty art club. It's just nice Mosaic of south. That's why I love. You always hear me high or wax, poetic about sample based. Disgrace scripts. Original. Stealing from usage. All right. I guess we're in right on. All right well. Thanks much for joining us We'll see here. We'll I. Guess we'll see Y'all and a little bit later today for some trending Take care of yourselves. Please take care yourself. Please take care of yourselves, please. Please be kind each other I. We will take care and we'll see. Later!

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The Weirdest Ways America Tried To Win The Cold War

The Cracked Podcast

1:26:53 hr | 1 year ago

The Weirdest Ways America Tried To Win The Cold War

"Hey, you cracks podcast listener. Why don't you turn your great idea into a reality with squarespace? 'cause they make it easier than ever to launch your passion project. Whether you're showcasing your work or selling products of any kind or just be an you may be right. Maybe you do photography. Maybe a third thing, human beings can do to cap off that list that would have been good to think of either way. Why don't you had to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial? And when you're ready to launch is the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey there, folks. Welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast, the podcast, all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt him had a podcasting hair cracked. I'm also known as Schmidt of the clam also known as Schmidt, e the champ, and I am also also gonna play you a real song from the real past even though boy, it sounds fake. Streaming. All right. I was the only man. Team claiming only one man. You just heard a clip of the band Bill Haley and his comets. You might know their name mainly because they had a smash hit song called rock around the clock. Most people don't know what the B side of that single was do you guys remember singles, and besides I don't only read about them, but that was how music used to work, and the B side of this smash hit song that millions of people bought the B side was called thirteen women and only one man in town. And that's what you just heard a clip of thirteen women and only one man in town. It was released in nineteen fifty four in the height of the Cold War. You, you might have heard that lyric about the H bomb, and it dropping. Hey, that sounds like a nuclear Pakalitha it is. And that's the plot of the song. Maybe he'll be once we follow the. The songs other lyrics basically, go on to create a like Winky fantasy where the only people left on earth are the one guy who's the singer and thirteen women and then they proceed to have lots of euphemisms for sex with him three guys. That's. That's. Moment from John. The show run. That was the two and people just listen to that in mainstream culture, this was not like a weird underground televisions. Adult swim kind of thing, it was just what people through on because it was nineteen fifty four. And that brings us into our topic. The topic is the weirdest ways. America tried to win the Cold War, one more time. That is the weirdest ways America tried to win the Cold War. You know, I love history. That's one reason we're doing this. But also, we're not just looking at military strategies that the US did and spice stuff. The US did try to beat the Soviets. We're looking closest at cultural changes designed to defeat the Russians America, reformatted its economy and society and in particular its families to try to defeat the Soviets from the end of World War, Two all the way into the early nineties. And that's one of the ways life is more interesting than people think it is that design the country that we live in the United States. Today and impacted the rest of the world, too. And I got to do this topic at all because listeners like you supported our first ever cracked podcast tour. We tape this live at the Amsterdam bar hall in Saint Paul Minnesota, twin cities and I'm thrilled. We could tour this show because as I said, when we released our Chicago episode of that tour a few weeks ago there was a purpose behind doing the show on the road. We didn't do it just to do it, even though that's very fun. I did this to her because I wanted to have conversations that I couldn't have any other way, go to the places these people are and get to talk to them. And then you loop in people from town, because all our live episodes include the audience, and they contribute their own stories, and facts, and amazing things. And so we could do this topic because we went on the road. And I think that's cool. The guests on the show are incredible Minnesota comedians and podcasters that you'll hear about Nasek and also these top scholar on this. Exact topic of America's cultural approach. To winning the Cold War, and she's based at the university of Minnesota. So that, that made this work, it was a whole thing. We did a few visuals in the show, occasionally alive episode will project some things to show to the audience they'll be described in detail in the audio so don't worry. You'll have a good listening experience. And then also, they are, of course, in the food notes, if you'd like to see them, especially if you're busy. Now, you can look at them later, or whatever I, particularly recommend the picture of a bomb shelter for cows. Whoa. That's the thing coming up isn't that neat? That's everything to know going into this. I cannot wait for you to hear this incredible panel. And these audience members who I couldn't talk to any other way. So please sit back or sit in your bomb shelter for cows because again, that really happened either way. Here's this live tour episode of the cracked podcasts in Saint Paul Minnesota, with guests khloe Radcliffe, John MO, and Dr Elaine Tyler may, I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you, then. I am so excited to talk to every person we had tonight. This is mergers relative wonderful at Minnesota, folks, I up she has TBS comic to watch a Star Tribune artist to watch and a Minnesota native specially here for the show, please give a very warm. Welcome to khloe. Radcliffe. Ooh. I everybody if you're listening at home Chloe reached Frank handshake, and I did a strange velociraptor claw straight, too. Here's the horrifying woman when I admit fit Alex, just said, you know, if you have any memories of the Cold War, we all lived through it. Well, right. Yeah. One of those fuck in the land. Next up, you know him from his amazing show, the hilarious world of depression. Also, social media, call wits many books, including deer Luke, we need to talk Darth, and other pop culture, correspondences, please, put your hands together. Go crazy for John MO. We roll with awkwardness here in Minnesota. Welcome. And then finally on the panel, she is a regents professor of American studies and of history at the university of Minnesota goes golden gophers. That's right. Great. I was like, quick, what was that football thing with, with the gophers you have to sign whenever you talk about? It's, it's actually pronounced gophers. Golden is silent. But also, and she's the many incredible books, including a homeward, bound, and fortress America. Please welcome Dr Elaine Tyler mane. To be the nerd on the panel. He referred to meet being on jeopardy. I don't know if everybody does that this is a panel of nerds. I've only been in jeopardy. Different. Prepositions. But yeah, we're, we're talking about the Cold War, and this, this weird phenomenon. I feel like it's, it's such a thing where it was a vibe for decades. What was it like being in it? You know, I'm always curious about that for me. It was I, I was born in nineteen sixty eight so for me it just meant growing up with the constant certainty that death was around the corner. And it's really something that I don't think is recognized in our culture. Now that entire generations grew up certain that the bomb was about to drop like my only thought the way, I connected to the Cold War can wait till I have sex once just. Just the one time it'll be fine. And it really suffused everything, like you'd be gotta do good on this math test. Why so I can get a good grade. Why does that matter? So I could get into a good college. I'll be dead by college. So I think it's this for, you know, psychologically speaking. It's this trauma that a lot of people, and I'm not I'm not sure of what the dates would be of the traumatized, but I know for for generation x the silent generation. It's always been a factor. Sounds like sweet twist of irony now in two thousand eighteen and twenty nine thousand nine we are also convinced the death is around the corner. By glacier, but not by bomb, right? Yeah. So there's a variety and I was trying to make upbeat. I don't know. Positive alex. Lane. How about you? How do you like I guess, in, in particular in terms of getting into your entire field of looking at how families and society and all that this worked in the Cold War, like what led you into studying that in the first place, curiosity and Chloe you, you say you haven't lived through the Cold War? But that's only if you believe the Cold War, ended blue. Yeah, we're in sudden death overtime. The Cold War. Not end. Well, that's for everybody to decide whether or not the US one if you have. Well, let's say that, right? Don't save it. You know, I mean, we have the former head of the KGB, who basically has the president of the United States on puppet strings. So I don't know who won the Cold War anymore. Right. And if it's not right. Yeah. You bought a ticket to truth folks. Yes, I've noticed something recently because I was talking to my wife about what would happen when the bombs dropped because I grew up in Seattle and we all knew. We all knew that we would be the first ones obliterated because because a Boeing was there and they make airplanes. That's what we told ourselves. And then I was talking to my wife and she said, oh, no. It's this, it's this one grocery store in the Chicago suburbs. So it would be the one to get hit for. She grew up in the Chicago suburbs, and the suburbs said, yeah, they wouldn't hit downtown Chicago because then they would waste half the, the blast radius on the lake. So it'd be in the suburbs. So it could just wipe out everything. And we looked at a map, and it was this grocery store, and then I was talking to John Roderick singer, from the long winters, and he grew up in Alaska. And he said, oh, no, for sure. It was in Alaska because we were the closest to Russia and there are air force bases. I was talking to my friend, Katie who grew up in Nebraska. Guess what? That's where they were everybody I know. And so today, I went and looked up the actual nuke targets, you think this. Wow. This and some of them aren't surprising Pentagon, you know, NORAD, but then eastern Nebraska, right around Omaha. My not air force base in North Dakota. Like somewhere in Hawaii. Because there's like a transmitter there. There's one in coastal Maine, I got hit twice in the Seattle area and nothing about the Chicago suburbs. But good news, everybody. We're going to be the ones in the desolate post nuclear wasteland here in Minnesota, because we're not getting hit at all. And, but it was really this death wish. I think like this generational, like let me die in mmediately, rather than, Rome, the charred grounds that once were earth. Fun to be a little dramatic. You know, it's like, yeah, I'm for sure going to be the one to. Right. Well, it was ego, thing to, like, clearly we're the most important community pose the greatest threat us children to the Soviets. So nobody had any fun in the Cold War. I mean, you know, I mean for me growing up Colbert is all about opportunity. I mean it started when I was about nine and I got my first and last until tonight opportunity to be part of show biz, when I was on a international cultural exchange television show, hosted by Milton Berle, if anybody remote he was milky, and I got to play a little girl from the US and a little girl from Russia with a whole bunch of other little girls who got to do the same thing. And we got to be out of school for about a week where we learned forwards of Russian that we could sing. Because when we're talking about are you from Los Angeles from Los Angeles, and your father like worked with Groucho Marx? Yes, my father Groucho, Marx Guinot, the Cold War opened up a lot of funding for education, which. In order to beat the Russians in the world of smarts. And so people my age got to go to college and get government fellowships to study. Whatever we wanted. It didn't have to be signs and it certainly wasn't science for me. But we got money, but before that, there were the bomb shelters, right? Yes. Sure, they might have scared you. But in my high school bomb shelters weren't really about being scared. It was about knew everyone who had one and when their parents weren't home. The Cold War worked out. Great for you. You weren't bothered by the, the nuclear apocalypse angle of it. You're probably happy. It's still going. Hey for the good old days. She's got a framed picture of Brezhnev. Who is Fresno? He was a Soviet premier in the sixties and seventies. And then after Brezhnev, they had a series of rapidly, dying, premiers, turn Yanko and then drop off, and they whenever they would die. The Soviets would say the chairman just has a cold and then they were burying. Chairman Bobby is cold. And so then that led to Gorbachev who was younger. And if you don't know, gravitate, I know thank you from birth months, that's. You're part of a club not notice. Google. I'm glad we touched on bomb shelters too. Because especially Elaine, your book homeward bound, it's about all kinds of ways that US families were sort of part of the containment strategy on a on a family level. And one of them was this shelter stuff. And we also we have a few multimedia things because you're here. So I think that's very exciting. But could we get image to image to would be great because they're the bomb shelters were apparently like fun? And one of the ways they refund as it was a romantic situation. In like wider pop culture. This is life magazine in nineteen fifty nine celebrating a couple spending two whole weeks in the bomb shelter for their honeymoon. Because what a romantic cold, where we all had what a time now that is a, fishery, a kink. Back then it was the biggest fucking marriage test you've ever ever seen. If you come out of there and both parties are alive. It's going to be an elementary. Now I'm into bunker. And it makes me wonder about that time like were how conscious where people of the almost romantic overtones of this preparation for nuclear war. That sheltered honeymooners here. They have a really interesting story. They were couple in Florida. And they did this as a as a stunt, obviously, it was published in life magazine, and they were asked to do it. They, they did this as as a stunt, obviously. But they did it and then they were promised that they could go on a real honeymoon afterwards. Oh, so this wasn't in the story, but came out later on. So they did this for two weeks. And then the company that I don't know made the shelter or something paid for them to have a real honeymoon in Mexico bomb shelter. But the interesting thing is at least about I don't know, ten years ago or so. When I saw this article in the bulletin of Tomek, scientists actually did a follow up on these two and they were still married at the time, their children, thought that the sheltered hunting moon was the weirdest thing that ever heard, but they were still together. And they remembered it as a kind of wacky thing to do, but they, they lived to tell the tale what strategy about these shelters is it seems like a sort of coping theater more than it seems like strategy much like the duck and cover drills. Like did people think if I have this I'm going to be fine? Or was it more of like a I don't know, like an art piece sort of thing, not that many people actually built these things, maybe, you know, there's really no way to know. But the estimates I've read where somewhere I don't know sixty thousand that they actually found in counts. Somebody found in counted. There was a little spurt at the time of the Cuban missile crisis because people did get scared how much people really thought they would protect them is another question, they may have felt that they could have been protected against fallout. I mean I don't know why else they would have still been belly. I mean, the duck and cover of always felt like yeah. Desk is not going to do anything but bomb shelters. Like I have been sold on bomb shelters. I've been told on bunkers that those would actually do something what would they do? Protect you from the bomb? Well. You know, when the bomb goes off, and like stuff flies around in your underground. And so you don't get hit by all the stuff. Maybe if you're in another country, it might save you another country from where the bomb is falling. I mean, you're going to need to return, your bomb shelter. Yeah. May be I mean, you know, I think it really is part of what people call security theater, you know that. You know, these are all kind of rituals of security to make you feel like you're save. Even if they don't do anything, kind of, like taking off your shoes at the airport, and going through those metal things all of that, at the airport, by the way, is all security theater. It doesn't do anything to make you any safer. In fact, there's no, there really is a security expert, who was interviewed for city pages some years ago, and he's written books about this stuff. He says there's only one thing one thing that actually makes people safer when they fly from from terrorism. And what would that be? It's certainly not anything that happens in the airport. It happens to be closing the door of the cockpit. Well, and locking, it do they do that all the time or, or no? They didn't use to it. So I mean it's since since nine eleven they have, but man we're that they didn't. Sometimes they would the door telling me telling me that doors protect against terrorists, but bomb shelter. Yes. Exactly. Terrorists could get through a door while bombs don't use doorknobs. Yes, they don't have opposable thumbs. Right. Used to be able to look right into the cockpit just by leaning into the aisle. We wore an onion on our belt, as was the fashion. My, my neighbors across the street when I was growing up. We grew up around a lot of Mormon families, and they had all the Mormon families had a sort of bunker, sort of like a dugout area where they had canned goods to get ready for the end. I mean, the kids would say, well, the world's ending soon, and we're going to be ready because we have all this canned corn. And unlike any as you described that let's get image number three, if we can. Okay. Yeah, what's it gonna be Guinness act? But just that face of somebody who is in the L Turkey. More than just all loaded up on corn. Yeah. There you go. That's the honeymoon couple with everything they've bringing down for the two weeks. Just spread out on the lawn behind them. They're so hungry. They love whatever whatever that one can is. They should dig it. Let me but these these families were always very cheerful. And they were always very happy and close, and I didn't really understand them, and I felt threatened by them. And so I always thought like when the bombs come which are surely on the way, do I run across the street to the Wilkerson house. And then I think what would I rather? Hang out with the Wilkerson canned corn for the rest of my life or be obliterated. Good. I hope none of the Wilkerson are listening. But I, I chose an eyelash and I'm like, oh. Yeah. That does make this next guest awkward. If they. Are all here. Two seven. More. Mike's. On of microphones. Because that does it does seem like a limit on bomb shelters. Being any good as an idea is just being able to feed yourself down there or survive or there was the only in my head. Okay. When I bought my bomb shelter. Sure, it's fair purchase right? Right. It was an impulse buy. Put it in the pool. I just have that little plastic cover over the pool. I also have a pool. The house, but I do live in the movie to swim constantly, children needs to last you like three days, right? Like the bomb goes off. Oh. Threes, and he's last you need all those cans, you just like, wait the five hours. Now, I'm no scientist. I down you walk out, and you have all your Lord, I, I have a theater degree. But I've been told. That radiation can linger slightly longer. Right. All right. As a player of fallout new Vegas. I think I explained very rapidly now. That's the applause brand. Eight you people I play video games. I'm surprised as you are. Well, let's keep going. But because like feeding people for that, long time, there was some kind of government project where they tried to develop a SuperFood cracker that we filmed bomb shelters with, and the government funded production of twenty billion of these SuperFood crackers from us specific kind of weep by nine hundred sixty four we have keen one now. Just leftover from the Cold War. This tastes like shit by well, silly. Sorry you love. Keen. Well, then they most of them that go on eaten, apparently they don't taste. But also there wasn't the war, you know, so we don't need it and a few were sent to disaster victims in the seventies because they were like, well, we got this, what was the cracker. I didn't understand the article very well. But it was some kind of weird kind of wheat that they felt would not keep you like super healthy of a keep you alive in a very direct way you know you in the Wilkerson can just shout down. And there was a time traveler from our day say, but I have ceiling. Is there another option? They buried so many of these crackers that apparently construction crews and inspectors and stuff, just fine them from time to time. And so. In two thousand six there were people doing a routine inspection of the Brooklyn Bridge, and there was some kind of chamber in there for surviving nukes, and they found a bunch of old, tins of these crackers, and like one brave parks person tried it on was like that is very salting. That was like our whole takeaway. Salty apartment in the Brooklyn Bridge for rent. Like in a world of non potable water. Let's put extra salt on these mother fuckers. We do you know why they made those like other than just why they buried the crackers. They were they were just end some kind of tens and hidden places, and the idea was we'll just when when the bomb strike, we will live on these crackers. Ktar. No. You know, I mean it was it was the air the cake mix the air of the TV dinners. You know, you could either put whatever it was, you could fix it. You can put it in the freezer. You could put it in the fridge. You could mix it with water and, and it it in. Or you could put it in your public bomb shelter levittown dream of a new America. It's, it's pre fabricated meal, right? And pre hidden. Are you hungry in the post apocalypse dig everywhere you find it? Tin of crack salty shit crackers, only by the government. Maybe you won't find. It's a game. It's like a scavenger hunt from your death. And you mentioned levittown, what a good thing to get into a lane. Homeward bound brings up a lot about if nothing else like the suburbs being kind of a defensive strategy like apparently, there was a bulletin of atomic scientists hot periodical again where they, they said that we could do saying the name of the both of topics was hot periodic. The name. That's the Tomek scientists singles next. But it was it was like an actual they called it defense through decentralisation with something we could do by just fully spreading the population out to the suburbs. So it's harder to hit those cities that we talked about, like why did they think that would help? What did they think that would be a useful thing at all? I don't know. That was the plan to make suburbs to decentralize populations. That was one of one I'm putting too much on it. You know. You know, I mean to say that the suburbs were all built as a massive civil defense strategy. I think is taking it a little far, but definitely definitely the interstate highway act was a Cold War measure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's right. Right. That was Eisenhower's thing. So that if you know, wherever you lived if you were in the city or the suburb, as long as you had a car, and you could get out of the city, you could get out fast on the interstate highway. That's what they thought at the time they. Haven't Devon been on the four zero five in LA for you. Don't know the 4:05 in LA, the parking lot Lynn was also with the with Eisenhower, the idea of moving like missiles and moving military equipment on the interstate because that's why I remember it being described as it'd been. Yeah. Didn't work out so much. Polled war over might be. Lane's very mysterious. Any lanes of professor too. So like you're looking for a definite answer, and she's like, well, what do you think? There's going to be a test on this. Twenty minutes. Well, I've always felt guilty like driving on the freeway in part because I'm like I should be a missile here. I'm just taking up space. A missile moving to a better place somewhere in. Let's see main. I think. Well, there was a lot of worry about panic, you know, the people would panic. And so they would all be rushing out to the streets at the same time, and that the streets and the highways would all get clogged up and no one could move anywhere. And then the bums would fall. Everybody's out in the streets and would just get liquidated. But suburbia was was a was a Cold War strategy. More in the sense of the lifestyle that it promoted that you know what? What was the Cold War? You know, the cold part of the Cold War was a propaganda war. There were a lot of hop worse during the Cold War. So. To it wasn't really very cold, but the cold part was propaganda and what, what was, what was the war, it was capitalism versus communism? And what was capitalism the American way of life? And what was the American light way of life, you had to be white yet to be middle class? You had to live in the suburbs. In a single family home, you had to have a backyard or a basement so that you could put your bomb shelter there. You know. So what does that say about everyone who was left in the city, who wasn't white didn't have their own home? You know, couldn't build a bomb shelter. You know, they were sort of I don't know, collateral damage. I guess. Right. So there was this idea of the American way of life that was beamed out to the world through media and everything else, and movies and TV and Hollywood, that was what America symbolized was the home that consumer oriented home the nuclear family, right? The heterosexual couple with their children, all of them learning from movies, like Bert. The turtle and duck and cover how to survive, when they're riding their bicycles down there suburban streets. And the flash comes, you know, and so then they learn what to do. And as the host of a depression podcast, it didn't work out. The people who grew up in those worlds didn't do all that. Well, really oiler alert, we're all fucked up. There's so many things for one. Stephanie what if you wanna pull image number four, that would be great, 'cause that propaganda was insanely explicit like they really did? It's going to picture of the kitchen debate of Nixon, and Khrushchev, where they just walked through, it was nineteen fifty nine and they just walked through, like a model of kitchen, arguing about well, American microwaves can do this. You know, well, Soviet one, no microwave, washing machines. Why shouldn't. Well, I shouldn't put all the fan washing machines, but a it's amazing that, that this was as explicit as it was. They were just like, no, we will we will defeat the enemy not mainly in Vietnam and Korea. But through like just better production and impressing each other. And then they had to stand argue with each other like that, which is just. It was sort of a crystallization of these conflicting viewpoints, because you're coming off World, War One and World War Two and shifting alliances that happened in there and treaties and it was all very complex. But when it's all over people were able to reduce it, I think to aid versus be Soviet Union versus USA, capitalism, communism, and it seemed simple, so, like you could get you could you could go on a tour of kitchen with these two dudes and have them get into it in front of it. Looks like a Washington washing wish eight some sort of circular oven. There's also just noticed this great podcasting, folks. Fuck off to our listeners. And of course, it was never that simple. As, as a versus b but I think we were all able to think of it that way. Yeah. I also well for one thing listeners at home, there will be food notes and find this up of it also just noticing the washing machine, there's a box of detergent or something where the brand is just called SOS. That's the Russian deterred. The American church was called what the fuck. When and then world of depression is amazing here and also in your life, but also making that show like it seems like especially in the Cold War. We were very, very, very bad at understanding mental health in general. Like all these things were happening where there were bombs pointed at all the cities. And no one knew how to talk about anything. Yeah, it was bad. I mean, like I've often said that when I first had signs of mental illness, myself, I didn't want to tell anyone because I thought I would have to go into a padded room in a straitjacket, because my knowledge of mental health was gleaned from Bugs Bunny cartoons. And but at least butts bunny, unlike everybody fucking else was talking about it. He was getting about mental health hero books getting it wrong. He was getting it wrong. But at least he was talking to know. I mean it was but I think it was a condition of wartime as well with the Cold War mentality. Still existing like my parents grew up in Norway during Nazi occupation and anything that was happening there. And there was there was plenty of mental health problems in our family down through the ages. But there was a war to survive, you know, and so there was this, this notion of suck it up move forward and I mean, the problem, of course when you suck it up. It's like a vacuum cleaner, like the bad gets full and you're keeping the bag inside. So the trauma was happening, and it wasn't getting dealt with, and it was going to explode down the line and it did. But there's also this mindset of de prioritizing it, and not really having the resources because there's a w-. You're going on. So I think when World War Two shifted to the nuclear threat, and the Cold War, and all that it was still this mentality of, like that's not important now. Stuff. It down for later. Yeah. It's a little like the national debt environment. We'll just deal with it later. The problem is later shows up and want some answers and even mentioned William J Levitt before, who levittown once said, quote, no man who owns his own house, and lot can be a communist. He has too much to do. And quote. Too busy to be commun-, which look at my to do list, as seems like maybe it was a whole era of, well, we have pools to fill shelters to build and I don't know hop socks to dance ends, so that's fine. And there's nothing like a full to do list to, to try to distract yourself from the trauma. You know, like if you really want to keep busy, then you don't have to think about it for a while. And then later, do you said in wartime? I guess is the question of whether you did it feel like living in wartime. Well, I think it depends on who you asked, you know, some people were closer. Tian's. Yeah. I mean it didn't feel like wartime to most people during their daily lives except for when they started to get occupied with the kinds of fears that were generated in the in the atmosphere. I mean, I think there were moments like the Cuban missile crisis when people really did feel they were living in wartime, when they really felt that was going to be a nuclear war that there was going to be an exchange and people who were fighting on the ground, or had, who had family members who were still around the world in various places that were still occupied after World War Two or new wars like Kareem Vietnam, then it really did feel like a war coming out of Phnom to was this phrase the domino effect. If Vietnam falls to communism, what else is going to happen. And that idea of this thing is going to lead to this other thing was very prevalent. Like I was maybe eleven or twelve when the Soviets invaded. Afghanistan and that felt like okay this is how it starts, there are like the Middle East sort of there's a series of events are going to start to happen. And we were boycotting the Olympics in Moscow. This is going to turn. This is how it's going to start this thing. I've been waiting to start eventually we'll start, and the, the logic of you have missiles, eventually you're going to go off. You know, you don't have a thing and have it never do the thing. It's, it's built to do you have children you have children. They never do what you built. My son is in attendance at the show. Hi, charlie. As a joke for all the parents. Oh kids. But yeah, it was it was never I feel like I'm in wartime. It always felt like wartime was about to begin a few as I feel like the coal in particular, it was made very material literally tangible for kids. For some reason major cities in the nineteen fifties. A lot of them printed dog tags for kids. And so this was in the event yes, who exactly. In the event of things going wrong. They would have a blood tapes information. And so on New York City, two point five million dog tags in nineteen fifty two also Washington DC bottom from some kind of scammer where they were made of brass which would melt in any explosion. So not a patriot not a sponsor either. You know, we don't like them. And that kind of a hero. I'm not going to be part of your ghoulish facade. I'm going. To make money. Not a bad way was the idea that help kids who were injured or were just by bodies. I believe both. Yeah. And then there was also a very small thing. They tried it was called operation, tat type, which was the idea was a walking blood Bank and in Lake County Indiana in nineteen fifty two. They piloted at and all the school kids had a tiny tattoo under their left arm of their blood type. And so I again agreed and so like doing things like that. So you could snatch a child off. Right. Right. Yes, you just open your mouth, latch onto their neck. And I was born at the wrong time. Well, and like Elaine, you describe our current security theater. I feel like this is like, like real dark theater that doesn't make us safer and messes with every kid's head. If, if you're being given a dog tag, and you're like why? And they're like, oh, you know, death, and that's it. What the fuck it seems like this was a whole era of people constantly getting messaging like that wonder how much of it is related to the term war. And maybe you could help me figure this out. But like I mean, just as we've had the war on terror for so long, which seems to be a war against an emotion wars on everything. Yeah. We had the Cold War. We had the war on poverty, the war on drugs. The war on what else. Yeah. Tear Tare, and so you can justify these things they well we're, we're in a warm. Yeah. Well, we usually were. One definitive being Elaine will say, all nice couch to usually, right. We was going to be a historian out there. Who's going to argue with me a lot about this, and we're going to war on against drugs or poverty. I mean those were issues, but, like war was the word. Yeah, yeah, it gets people energize where else that we're currently gripped in the war on Christmas, very critical conflicts that trying to hang in there with kill Santa one of these days. Astor. Too easy for too long. That's right. I wanna kill Cinta. Put that on your podcast. I think we just did we go. Many thanks to our friends at squarespace for their support of everything. We're doing here at the craft podcast and hey, you are a person and people tend to use the internet. Do you have a website to show yourself off yet? Have you? Have you arranged that have you set that up if you have not, I think squarespace, is the way to go. If you have, I also think squarespace, is the way to go. So either way, we're talking to you. They have beautiful templates created by world-class designers that you can also customize any way you want to set it up to work for you. They also have an ecommerce spunk analogy that lets you sell anything online. 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Your squarespace website will always be updated to being the best thing that can be because you never need to patch stuff or fix stuff ever squarespace, empowers millions of people from designers to lawyers, artists to gamers, even restaurants and gyms to turn great ideas into something real, so had squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com slash cracked offer code cracks. A lot of very strange ways that pop culture was being used to try to hold us together at a trying to defeat the Soviets and in your book homeward bound lane. I pull out the it was called the win a future contest, which is it's kind of pop culture, kind of propaganda. But it's one of the craziest stories I've ever seen. We got it all started in Italy, because there was an election where the communists were gaining a lot of traction and the US government was very concerned about that wanted to keep the communists from taking over Italy. And so they started sending care packages with very deliberately labeled that they were from the United States, and they were sending them all around Italy to distribute to the Italians to supposedly, psychologically, bribed them into rejecting communism because communism, wouldn't be sending them these whatever these care packages, but also in the care packages where these letters that Americans were invited to write to insert into them to tell the, the people of Italy. Why capitalism was great? And consumerism was really the way to, to have the good life, and the capitalism would provide that communism would not essay contest. Yes. And then that was citizens, you know. Didn't speak Italian. Yeah. Wanted to win a future, there was this contest and the winner of the win a future contest would presumably, get a house and a car and a house filled with all the goodies that you saw in the in the. The kitchen debate in Moscow, all on display. This is the American way of life. And so there was this contest and, and a couple of did win. But it didn't quite turn out the way it was supposed to really wasn't the happy ever after. But what happened? How did it turn out not to? I mean, they did get this house, but it didn't work out very well for them. I mean you know, they couldn't really get to work very easily because it was out in the. Out in the valley, and they worked in the city and LA valley. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was it was nineteen forty eight and they on TV said, enter this contest, and six hundred forty thousand people sent in essays, like, say, the essays were forwarded to talion 's who hopefully spoke English. And then that very well, designed and thought out scheme. Yeah, they were to Italians, and, and the winters were promised they house and car and job. But they were given it in a really, like we promised the Americans who wrote the letters housing. Italian. Yeah. But it was a terrible job for the people who actually won the contest. And, and it was also a terrible house in card that didn't really work either. At the house had no class. And then it turned out the contest was sponsored by the communists. See your Coty those doesn't work. That's Dracula, by the way. Unknown. Red bastard. Up america. And yeah. And then we have these magazines talking about how great fallout shelters where, and also you pick out how movie stars of the time, there was a shift where in the twenties. And thirties, they were like independent ladies on the town. And then suddenly in the forties, it was these are Wyatt's, these are ladies, who are building the kind of homes that will help a family withstands communist. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the kind of heroic characters or the characteristics of euro, IQ women in the thirties, for example, some of the really popular movies, who were independent and strong and feisty and tough. They kind of mellowed after the war into the good wife and mother and those same characteristics of being feisty in and sexy and independent. Thank you. They, they became the villains. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Who were the actors who had down there act now in Monroe who went from being, you know, in, in some early films? You know, really a very funny and feisty. And these are also happening at the same time. I mean, there were resistance movies at the same time that there were the you know play play along with, with the cultural motif movies. But, you know, she was either the sex kitten, or she was the film Noir, villain. You know, and there were, there were other women stars of the time who were who were cast in one role or another. And then, and then there was Dr Strangelove. I wanna show of hands, who's seen doctor strange? Dr load. Yeah. Well, I just got a quote from me here. Betty Davis who is very independent prior to that then in nineteen forty one she's being interviewed about among other things. It was don't be afraid to be a prude and the quote here is good sports. Get plenty of rings on the telephone. But proves get them on the finger, and that was, why that was the best acting of Bette Davis life. She didn't believe in you. Yeah. Yeah. Joan Crawford was like, suddenly being photographed ironing all the time and magazines, call it. The real Joan Crawford iron work communist women seen, as like feisty and independent and cool and funny, and like awesome. And you'd want to be friends with and have a big birthmark on their face and like cool. Smart and humble. So what, what you didn't hear in that picture of the kitchen debate with Nixon, and Khrushchev, having this debate is that, yes, they were arguing about consumer products, and no, they were not really arguing about types of governments, or who had the best weapons or who had the best rockets exploring outer space, but mostly what they argued about was who had the best women. They really did that was a theme in the kitchen debate. And I hate men. Fucking but. Yeah. And so, but it really gets to this very question. Because Richard Nixon kept saying, we have these great consumer products and appliances to make life better for our women to make life better for our housewives and those two words, women and housewives were interchangeable. They were like synonyms, right? And the whole idea of woman was she was a housewife and her life was going to be made easy and lovely, because she had these appliances that gave her all this free time to run around after her children and change diapers and things like that. But what Kristof said an answer to that was quote. We don't have that capitalist view of women. And then he went on to say. And then and then he went on to say that the women of the Soviet Union. They were tough and strong and independent. And they were out working side by side with their men in the factories, and in the industries, and making Soviet Union strong, and they weren't these Wimpy. Well he didn't use that word but they weren't. They weren't these housewives, who were who were confined to their homes, just doing meaningless housework just using their their appliances. But of course, what we know is that in both countries women were one they were all out there in the paid labor force because Soviet women, like American women had to help bring in money to support the family and women during these years of the highlighted housewife they were actually out in the paid labor force, and Secondly, we also know that they were all doing double duty the Soviet women and the American women. Come home and have to do all of the laundry, make the dinner take care of the kids and had all the domestic chores to so an actual life. Their lives were not that all different. But in the ideology, they had very, very different ideas about what women did can I just say for the record I live in New York City, and I would frankly, rather have a washer and dryer van of boyfriend. You have to work in a factory to get it. Honestly, fine. Well, I mean, what I keep thinking about too, is like capitalism and communism are, are terms that are complicated terms, and I don't think people spend a lot of time thinking about, like, well, this is what a capital driven economy looks like this is this is what happens when the state is larger, you know, the communal it just seems like Yankees versus Red Sox to certain extent. Like, I don't remember people putting a lot of thought into economic theory during this time and any kind of similarities, but I think what, what followed though, like you have two leaders arguing in a kitchen over what superior. What, what that I think, gave rise to was in the eighties, this sort of vapid, we're all sisters and brothers. Let's do an exchange trip to Russia, and hold hands. Kind of thing. I did that nineteen fifty seven. We all held heads and sang dance. But, but neither that is in the midst of the Cold War. It was one of those cultural moments both like the kitchen debate. You're really holding onto this, aren't you did. It was my moment of glory. Everything's been downhill ever since. When that, and that's amazing that, like we say, we think of those two sides as so split, but they could have come together on, we're kind of sexist, and we have similar economies in some ways, and we all aren't great things as bridge. But we got something, you know, we're all comrades, we all have missiles, and we subjugate women. I'm not pro sex of. I don't know what every exit was but feet to the fire here boy, oh boy, but I remain. Yes or no? I remember too, though, like like Dr Strangelove was, was fantastic and such a smart and not even all that cynical of a movie, just sort of a brave movie. I thought, but I remember when red dawn came out. Ooh. Wolverines. And, and I felt like that was when things got really cynical because I, I watched that with my friends where maybe like fifteen years old or so, at the time and I didn't know a single person who bought into it like we all went there for the camp value of it. And then, well, the Rambo movies and everything. I mean red dawn is a movie that is based on the premise that when the Soviets invaded, it would be in central Colorado. Right. Right. And then fan out from there. Say that like it's crazy. Rockies. Beautiful rocks. I would just think maybe someone would see the plane coming. Point. But it struck me that like in that, you know, it's easy to kind of gloss it over, but in a post Watergate world where everything had become a little more suspect. Right. That, that there was a lot of I rolling about that kind of eighties to nineties era of, of American pulled hor propaganda because it is so strange that suddenly read on Rambo movies, all these things came around. So we'd have, like movies where where individuals to feed communism? Right. Because they were all in the mid eighties, eighty four eighty five for red, Don and Rambo per partout. And so like the war was almost over. Right. Maybe we didn't know but we were about. Yeah, but then Rambo was in Vietnam, going back to Vietnam. And that later that movie has the most bizarre premise, why ten years after the Americans lost the war in Vietnam. Why are the Vietnamese holding on and torturing these prisoners that Rambo has to come and save? I mean, the logic of the film is so completely bazaar, it makes it makes absolutely no sense. I mean more bizarre than discussing the logic of the film, Rambo. We got, you know, we're Americans we have to talk about these bizarre pop culture things, but Rambo was like an international massive hit. I mean all over the world all over Asia, even though it's so racist. I mean it's just people. Well, even I remember also like seeing golden eye. The pond movie ninety five and they're very fixated on like in GoldenEye, basically the Soviet Union's about to happen again. Somehow, it's just everybody's ex Russian who's about to like, roll out the Lenin statues, again and get it going. And I I was very thrown because I I was very little end. Another thing anymore, where we doing this. Well, they. Rebutted roseanne. So. I've always wondered the extent to which the movies and the TV and stuff like the day after remember the day after was a reflection of the cultural anxiety around those issues. And then how much then exacerbated that anxiety, right? Like, maybe we're whipped up about this thing. So we make a movie about how whipped up we are. And as a result, everybody's more whipped up than they already were. Yeah. I think that the whole civil defense effort really did nothing more than create more fear instead of instead of reassurance. But there's always the, the back door is always humor. And Dr Strangelove is the best example of that, that I can think of, but in the US, the coal her humor was always about sex in the Soviet Union. It was about death. And I know this because for example, one of the most widely circulated jokes in Soviet Union, and I now heard this from two different. People at two different international conferences, the same joke because it was clearly going around. You know, sort of the flip side of the duck and cover where, if you see the flash you try to save yourself. Right. So in the Soviet Union, what do you do when you see the flesh you grab the sheet that's closest to you, and you throw it over you, and you get down on your hands and knees? And you crawl to the nearest cemetery and the answer. The joke isn't over yet. The answer to that part of the joke, is why crawl and the response is to prevent a stampede, right? So I heard this. Cow. From two very different sources and one of them joke. I have to say, one of them was Nikita Khrushchev's, son. Who you know the Cold War is over, if it is when when the. When Nikita Khrushchev son comes to the US teaches in an American University and becomes an American citizen and tells these jokes. And you also know when the Cold War's over when Dwight the Eisenhower's, granddaughter Mary's a former Soviet physicist, so on the ground, there's these, there's these relationships that are developing, but I don't think we have we have grim grim stories like the day after the flip side of those are like Dr Strangelove and all of the joking the atomic cafe, and the Anna Tomek bomb all of these sexualize images of the Cold War. But in the Soviet Union, Cold War is about death, which is why the parody of red dawn red Dong is not a porn. It's a comedy. Red Tong like half an hour. So first of all, anybody who thinks they have a dark sense of humor, you ain't shit compared to all Soviets. Can we can learn that? Right. There are two or show in Moscow, it's going to be fucked. Oh, it's gonna be praying. There's another fun, immaterial image number five, seven because that overall thing of the Cold War, being very heavy on, like sexual content and vibes and stuff. This is from a civil defence pamphlet. And I'll from elaine's book where it's a warning about kinds of radioactive rays. And so it's three like three sexy ladies train, but they're all in sashes of what like isotope it is alpha beta, and gamma. Yeah. Those are invisible rays, you know, so if you're if you're a government, civil defence eurocrat, and you're writing a pamphlet for the public on fallout. And you want them to understand about fallout in your giving them all these instructions. How do you illustrate fallout? If these are Mike, not microscopic, basically, invisible rays that cannot be seen with the naked eye and hardly even under. Microscope from what I understand if you have alpha rays, you're going to be pulling your own hair out. Beta raise your head will become dislodged, enroll on your shoulders, and gamma rays. She looks fine. Yes. Yeah. But that's how she gets you. What's the what's, what's not up here on the screen is what the illustration the text next to the station says that fall out his made up of alpha beta and gamma rays there. They are, ladies and gentlemen, dangerous dangerous dangerous. However, they can be dangerous if they're used for weapons in, if they make bombs, but if they're harnessed for peace, if they're harnessed for peace, they can make light. A lot better. Right. So, so, so was the message anything the fallout dairy them? Married them married. Yes, that in a very them direction. Yeah. I don't think these are the kind of gals you Mary. Then then they become really head girl anyway. Alls having a proper add up. When we are. And we're at that point in the show where I know this shows about a lot different things. But if any of you have it could be stories for you. Remember or have been told from the Cold War or facts have really screwed you up. The microphones over there. We all we already have Minnesotans are so nice. They are like, yes, we will do this right away. But give us your name. And then let's hear that story. It sounds great. Go ahead. Okay. My name's Annalisa. I only saw my grandfather, actually made the infamous nuclear bomb cake that if anybody knows about. I don't know that it's actually been featured in a correct video. Choir. Alex, right? Sorry Alex, it's going to be okay. It's her podcast now. Go ahead. I win the. So it was a cake made for an Admiral who was involved in Manhattan, project believe, but it was a very large mushroom cloud cake, that he delivered to Washington, DC and the whole United States wins, absolutely nuts. There was, and there's a clip of a newspaper article of him being like, yeah, I have all these newspaper clippings from the times magazine and a Russian magazine. And at one point he said, he's kind of a dick. He was like. I didn't know him but I can say is dick so he said, I don't know. Maybe next time, I'll make a Sputnik cake. Then I'll be criticized or not. Like really didn't give a shit that people were mad about this mushroom cloud cake that label the cake dick. He was my grandfather drag descendant of the cake, czar dick or whatever so. Yeah, look it up nuclear bomb mushroom cloud cake. That's rental Lisa. Next next person with the story. Give us your name. Hi. My name is Joe Joe. So you guys talked about, like communism and socialism with women and kind of how that worked, and as a man, I would like to talk about women and socialism a little bit. Actually. There's a book called why women have better sex under socialism, and one of the things is that women have better sex, but men don't. And the reason is, is that like one of the reasons is that since everyone gets a fair shake or like, you know, there's like universal basic income, a lot of people get all of their needs provided for them. Women don't have to choose crappy men who have a better job and men alternatively have to develop like a personality and be nice. Rather than like. Rather than just rely on their capital gains. Because the best argument for American feminists go, socialist journalist. Or for women to just stop fucking mediocre men. I was amazing great one more time for. Yeah. Please. Next high TJ eighteen so you guys are talking about the first strikes during the Soviet Union. How we all grew up with that, right? So I grew up here in the twin cities and what I was told that we were for strike target. We refer strike target for the rail yards. North minneapolis. All that damn wheat, this move into their head to take it out. I so we did a project in my seventh grade. Classroom. Mapping out the twin cities and the likely megaton strike at the north Minneapolis rail yards. What our percentage of survival was depending on where your house was. Wow. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What grade was that seventh grade seventh grade have at that. I mean, people cried. Okay. Well. And now we know Mickey's diner in downtown saying. It was just a distance from the rail yards. That was your likelihood of. Yes. So you could apparently as just like drill some circles. We'll we colored the circles. This like project that involved math and research started with just a premise pulled out. Somebody's ass. How did the rail yards thing, I we were learning is in social studies in seventh grade, and they were talking about the Cold War, and how we were all part of it. This hand Minneapolis was a first strike. I was I blew my mind to hear guys say that would've been nineteen eighty-seven sounds about right? This is a story. This is a story I mean to do for this American life. One day about how everybody believes they were going to be the first ones hit, but I never ever get around to it. So just imagine I've done it. It was really good. Yeah. Round of a bus episode. If. So much easier. Reporting fucking story. And give it up for Joe teaching I'm sorry doesn't make. My name's Nate. So I got an anecdote that involves both followed shelters and the patriarchy misogyny in general. When I was in tenth eleventh grade. So late, nineties, I had a really awesome world history teacher. Shouts Mr. shepherd at Watertown high school in South Dakota who took us to the high school followed shelter like. The best field trip, I've ever been on a basically we had a fallout shelter underneath our school, and it was a pretty massive place. You can literally fit like about twenty to fifty families in that shelter. We go down there. It's obviously abandoned because it's been years. There's a thin layer of dust everywhere. But there is one product that we see all over the place. He's little blue boxes in a seventies sixties like match game esque font. And we're like we're picking these things up. Wondering what the hell are these things tampons, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of tampon still in this fallout shelter after years of neglect? And we're just kind of like in our heads going, okay. You're young thi this thing out. You took out all the perishable food items. The, the sandbags the water fuck fuck the women eating tampon. Leave him in here they're not going to need these. I mean. Right. Those are resource. If in high school, I knew that there were hundreds of tampons in an accessible place in high school, my life in high school would have been so much better. Wearing jeans on just go down. I'm just assuming there's a nuclear war by. I'm just assuming the men didn't wanna buy their hauling. Right. That's national. Name one of the great. What a great story. Thanks. I'm most I'm curious, just like a plot or something if you knew like your high school or other place around, you had a fallout shelter around you. Wow. In New York once in a while, I would see a sign, and it's like radiation sign that maybe you see signs on buildings that just say, I think they follow shelter and like a little radioactive sign, which is a confusing mix mixed methods writes, well, and never any indication where in the building. It is or how to read. Which I just means it's basement probably not the top sore. All right. John. Even with you. Also, I think since we'll have time take your time with it, but Stephan image number eight would be great. And then next door here tonight. Hi, I'm Natalia. I don't I don't know if you can tell by my name, but I'm the daughter of two Russian immigrants. The rest. The way to round of applause for some Russian. That was great. So both my grandparents derived uranium in the desert of his Becca STAN, which was a little awkward to bring up during learn about the arms race in AP euro. So, yeah, when my parents immigrated here, they were so shocked to learn Americans were in such a tizzy about the Cold War. They were like guys like the Russians all died already in the last two world wars. We weren't really that concerned about it. You guys. They're like hiding under desks and building plungers. Let's wild. So now my does programmer who works from home and pets a cat slowly like an ultimate JAMES BOND villain. So what you're saying is Russians are the bad ones. Now we wait. Did also want to say one thing about women in Russia, which is that, while everyone was still misogynous asshole at home women had access to stem education, that still isn't available in the US like I mean, my grandma and grandfather, both derived uranium. And she was also a highly regarded intellectual and like my mom went to specialized math institute and just that kind of, like mass education of women on that scale in stem at the college level. Like my parents couldn't believe that like, you know, only what like ten percent of women like study programming here in the US like it's crazy. So what you're saying is Russians are the good, guys. Sounds like one of Lane's lectures. I have a question, though. So you're saying, so you were saying that your, your parents were surprised at how freaked out people were about the Cold War it because my understanding this correctly because Russian sort of felt like look, we're not really a threat. Is that yes, no one hundred percent? They were like we can't even produce coats to survivor winters, where not going to actually kill anywhere how, but so what at your grandparents think of it because they were part of from our perspective. They were a part of the Cold War effort of the Russian effort to win the Cold War. Do you know how they? I think for my grandparents, maybe the threat was a little more real like before, like work. It went good work her show, part of thought era, which is like they're like, we're softies now, we're like we can't really hurt anyone. But before then they were like, okay we probably will kill our entire population in order to hurt the US. Maybe it's a real threat. Oh, wow. That's all you that's amazing. Death is imminent poor everyone. Well. That's been going on for a long time. But I never I think, too, though, that we should point out that it was in the American best interest in terms of business in terms of the economy defense, contractors, depends subcontractors, to make the Soviets as terrifying as possible cherry and tonight not so much report back to the US on the bass of available stem education, because shit needed to be built and people needed to make a lot of money on it sort of, to that end similar when you're talking about you're talking about how panic was only elevated by movies about the Cold War by propaganda urged US propaganda about the Clark bag magnified by it, and that, that only benefits all the people who are benefiting from this ever did, I say that? No, no. That's absolutely true. And off the fallout shelter story before. But speaking of other industries and things they found to do folks in Brassica. They tried out a fallout shelter for cows this, if you can't read it, this magazine called Nebraska farmer from nine hundred sixty three and the story is followed shelters for cows, too, and they built it for up to two hundred cows reportedly the cows act. The same underground is above ground. They did pretty good. With pick the dippy font for fallout shelters. Cows. Sedition addition of Nebraska farmer cost fifteen cents. Go ahead with the next door. Hi there. My name is will, I will. And I feel like we get a lot of clear history stories about World War Two and World War One. Yeah. And I feel like the Cold War was sort of so long that out of learning about it. We sorta learn, you know, the general theme, but not many specifics, one of the specific things about World War, Two you that interest me was during World War Two, we seem to have become a much more civic generation, he had things like bring in your scrap metal so that we can make more munitions and things like that, at least in the history books. It looks like the whole country was on board know behind the war during wartime and back leads me to wonder whether during a Cold War that the. Nation felt this kind of civic, and sort of communal goals. Oh, not at all. Not a bit nothing. No. That was the spookiest way. Obviously, this would be a better question. If they're a couple, you know, people in their late nineties on the table who can because this is what we see in history books, obviously, about the coming together of America during World War Two, that's what we see face value. But Ellen know it leaves me wondering the Cold War was so long. I almost wonder if there is sort of diminishing return on everyone coming together in this unity. Yeah. But I think I think so much. I think that was Vietnam. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Laid with the truth. But so much of the quake was based around consumerism being better than the communist, socialist model. So, you know if we all rallied together around something that's not. So we all rallied together around go get-go. Yeah. Head of, you know, donate your tin cans to make more munitions, right? But Elaine to your point is, is, is your point that the Cold War, and perhaps, this is because of its link was so much more complex. There were, there were so many more factions even within American culture that we're talking on the national scale about whose side are we on what you know what really is good? What really is bad? Is that the well I think the after Pearl Harbor the country really did rally around not everybody wasn't one hundred percent. But it was a really, really strong support of the war effort really strong in World War Two and Korean nobody even remembers today, but the Korean war, there was not that kind of unanimity around it and by the time you get to be at Phnom. Well, that, that's just we're still living. I think with the polarization that, that came out of the Vietnam war, that's. We're still living with now. So why wasn't there that kind of unanimity around the Korean war? Well for one thing, people didn't they didn't want to go to war, again, they didn't want to send off their family members never been declared war. It was never declared, well, World War, Two was the last war that was ever declared by congress. Did you know that that's a, that's a factoid for you? You know, the media shows this to the World War, Two movies are pretty heroic. The Korean war movies you get things like Manchurian candidate. Anybody seeing that one? That's a really interesting movie with the Vietnam war, whether you're for the war or against the war, there were very strong feelings about it. And I wonder if because you know, with the Cold War being so long, and they're not being a hot element to it. If people even felt that strongly about it, you know, there is the fear of being prepared. But I wonder if those if there was sort political involvement, that there was with the Vietnam war, even when people were against it or for it, they're still very politically involved. There was fear of the draft. You know, the most brilliant, political move Richard Nixon ever made was to abolish the draft, which he knew would undercut the antiwar movement and it did because so much of the antiwar movement was fueled by, you know, a lot of people who didn't want to get drafted and their family members who didn't want them to get drafted. And once that draft the national draft was ended, and you have an all volunteer army, well, that undercut, one of the main threads of antiwar movement. And that's one reason why you know that whole activism dissipated here. And if we, if we can't have something close on, I think it should be the brilliance of Richard Nixon, folks. He was phenomenal. We can all agree. The road for this week. My enormous, thanks to khloe. Radcliffe, John MO, and Dr Elaine Tyler may for just being so smart. So funny, so sharp in the moment and, and making this a delightful experience also the whole audience at Amsterdam bar and hall eighth and you may not know is we tape that show in Saint Paul in the middle of April. And there was a blizzard middle of April blizzard, very fun. But people packed the venue anyway, it's partly because it turns out Saint Paul is all of ground tubes. So you don't have to go outside when you go from building the building, but also because they're just really wonderful folks who made the trip and I can't thank them enough, and of course, I would love to thank the whole team at Amsterdam Byron hall, which is a fantastic venue and bar, and restaurant if you're ever in Saint Paul, which is great city, also, thanks to Spencer, and Bobby Connor in particular their additional thanks to Josh Lindgren Uni share Marissa's Morales Hannah stifle Hannah Crichton Andrew Cohen, Chris Sousa, and more people from. There. It's just such a effort of so many people to put something like this on the road, and I'm so glad we did. And in our food notes, you will find these sources for all the material from our show. Also, the images that we picked out, you can see this shelter where they had a honeymoon, and you can also see the kitchen debate between Nixon and Khrushchev, where they both like pointed at appliance in our, like our system of running the world is better really wild that, that happened in real life and beyond that please support our guests khloe. Radcliffe is an amazing comedian often in Minnesota, because she's from there, but also based in New York. So if you see live stand up in New York, checker out, John MO is a pretty legendary author and podcast during comedian, I'm still amazed. I got to talk to him at all. He does a show called the hilarious world of depression. That is just doing good works. It's a comedy show and it's making everyone happier with their brain at the same time, and I believe they have a new season on the way they're also looking for your support, because it's public media. Anything you can do there. Check out the hilarious world of depression, that we will footnote and I highly highly recommend the works of Dr Elaine Tyler may that's scholar from the university of Minnesota that we got to talk to imperturbable her book, homeward bound American families in the Cold War era. It's fantastic work of scholarship the pictures of this time like obviously, I wasn't alive, then but, but some other people were around in the fifties and so on. And either you will love remembering that stuff or you will love getting to see it for the very first time and beyond that our theme music is Chicago falcon by the Budo spanned, this episode was engineered live at Amsterdam bar and hall and edited by Chris Sousa, if you love this episode that's great, if you hate it, let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media, a space where people sent requests for what city we should do live shows in and we got a ton from the twin cities. So that's why we came to Saint pollen next door Minneapolis, right there at kind of the top of the Mississippi River. I had never been there. And I had the best time let me know if your city would be a good spot for a cracked podcast in the future. I cannot promise anything, but I like your chances you know, maybe we can make it happen. My Twitter account for those requests and more is at Alex Schmidt, -i my Instagram at Alex Smith's agreem- and on the wider internet at my website, Alex midday dot com, and I'm here to say, we will be back next week with more cracks podcast. So how about that talk to you? This has been an ear we'll production executive produced by Scotsman. Chris, Ben and Colin Anderson. For more information content, visit ear wolf dot com. Hello listeners of other podcasts. This is tawny. Newsome. One of the co hosts of Joe is this racist, telling you about our big June teeth, episode June, nineteenth eighteen sixty five was the official announcement of the emancipation of all slaves in this country. And this kind of under celebrated holiday, we thought needed some highlighting, so come. Listen, check it out. We have a great big panel of people the same way we did our one thousand episode which I mean frankly was just like a big old mess. This is lightly. Less of a mess. There's more historical references people's personal stories in history with the holiday. We also talk a lot about breakfast, sandwiches, and strawberry soda. I, I don't know you just just tune in listen, we have lots of cool. Very funny smart comedians care, Brown people at Carl tart Brody reject. He's neely. Andy beckerman, ole so many more Lorraine to Graefin, right? It's a big old grand time. Come, listen. Hang out with me. Andrew T, R homeboy producers zig Jordan, everybody's. There you could hear the breakfast sandwiches on the Mike. And if that isn't enough to get you to listen. I don't understand marketing. Okay. Bye bye.

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9 Movies That Forgot To Prove The Villain Wrong

The Cracked Podcast

1:02:52 hr | 2 years ago

9 Movies That Forgot To Prove The Villain Wrong

"Hey, there person with a great idea. Yes. That's you. Congratulations. You should make that idea a reality with squarespace. They have beautiful templates and the ability to customize just about anything that you want to put into a website that shows off you so head to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain support. For today's show comes from fallout seventy six but that's the game studios. The award-winning creators of Skyros and fallout for welcome. You to fall out seventy six the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person worked together or not to survive fallout. Seventy six will be available worldwide on Wednesday, November fourteenth preorder now at participating retailers and play the beta games play best on Xbox One. Hey there, folks. Welcome to another episode of the craft podcast, the podcast all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt. I'm also known as schmead clam. I'm also known as smitty the champ. And I am also also impressed by every slasher movie. Yeah. Good job slasher movies. I don't know. I mean, I'm coming down from the Halloween season. Also board now that the World Series is over that stinks. But I find my brain being impressed with slasher movies. That's what it's moved onto. Because so often they build an entire movie around a kind of nothing villain rally. They're spooky and they're usually invincible or something. But they're all just kind of photocopies of Michael Myers from the original Halloween with a little extra window-dressing, but very little variation or interest in how they're going about the slashing and the whole movie hangs on that. And that's all it just treats them as pure evil the entire time, and somehow that works and those slasher movies. Keep it simple. They keep an extremely villainous. And that is why they don't fit the mistake. That is our topic today that movie making mistake that topic is movies that forgot to prove the villain wrong. One more time that is movies that forgot to prove the villain wrong. We will break that down immediately in the episode. What that is. And when I say, we that ah the subject of that is me and our guests two of them returning to the show is chase Mitchell. New to the show is Ben Joseph. They are both comedians and comedy writers between them Ben. And chase have written things for the tonight show. Triumphant insult comic dog the Golden Globes, the Simpsons and more because their top level professional writers. And you don't get to do that job without knowing something about how a piece of writing comes together. So I'm so glad we get to tackle this topic right now. Please sit back or said at your window watching for a loose slasher. That still hasn't migrated south for the winter. That's what they're they're much like birds. I don't know if people know that that is a stone, cold fact and not a joke either way. Enjoy this episode. With the wonderful chase Mitchell and Ben Joseph. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you. Then. Especially with movies. I I feel like maybe maybe we need to lay out a little bit at the top. Just exactly what kind of villain. We're talking about. Because we're talking about movies that forgot to prove the villain wrong. And specifically that's like movies where just throughout the film. The villain is definitely the villain. Right. Like, maybe there's some shades of gray to them. But the movie is never like, you know, actually, some of what they say kind of has point. Well, there's I think in also that's tuition, they feel like they don't have to do the work because you're just so automated on the side of the hero a lot of times. It's like, I think would love. Yeah. Yeah. You get it like, and it's only when you look closer on a second watch. You're like, wait a second. That seems especially strong with like superheroes. Right. Because they they assume oh, you're familiar with the comic. Where's ironman is the good guy? So we don't need to like examine who he's against. You know, you get and you've also got the handsome good looking one and the ugly villains. Scarred in some way. There's like that cowboy thing of white hat black hat. I forgot handsomeness as the white hat. That's one reason. I have trouble buying Michael bender as no two hands. Yeah. He is think someone's evil, you know, they're walking around packing. A big hug. Well, I was thinking of his face. Sure. Seems right. But also in every single one of those movies. I feel like he starts us the good guy. Somehow, they they said every single time. I know and then something tragic happens. So I feel like this is not right. But he loses like a wife every single movie. Like, oh, every character plans. You know, every every every time he's making either like him happy, and then they come in destroy the humans. He loves and then he or somebody loves there's yeah, there's always some kind of tragedy that like turns him evil. Again, fooled us again. Well, yeah. Because he bringing up magneto like we have a few examples of just heroes who do not to make it clear, and like magneto is one where the X men movies often give his viewpoint as a villain like some credibility, some right? But that's because that's kind of the point like we're talking about movies where the villain kind of has a point. And it's never acknowledged or address or anything looking at a looking at villains where the movie just never quite proves that they are wrong. I suppose we could start with adventures Infinity work, but it's the largest movie ever made. Well, I think one other point before we get into it that those interesting, but it like with a lot of these it would be easy to the movies. Just lazy the movie just kind of relies on the assumption that you know, these are the bad guys when they don't have to do any more work. It's not like the villain is right. It's like the movie just doesn't do the extra legwork telling you why they're wrong. It's interesting in the case of Infinity where because I feel like a lot of the critical praise was lavished upon the portrayal of Dana's. And like there was a lot of praise for how he was written. Even critics weren't acknowledging that his whole plan was so deeply flawed. Yeah. It's like the world like still hasn't processed it. I read an interview with the Russo's where they said the only way they could write this movie if they wrote it as fantasy s his hero's journey. Yeah. So I think they almost kind of don't want you to think about it too hard because they they really are in love with the guy being there. Walter white. This ambiguity like, oh, he's the bad guy. But he has some points. And then if you think about it for way, wait, no, he doesn't this this. This is all very dumb. Even sort of has Walter White's hairstyle, it's true. It's true. He's got the Heisenberg. Little pork pie hat. So what's what's wrong with that? I was right. Well, as people now, he feels that the universe is getting overpopulated. And so it needs to lose half its beings. And like, you said even critics after think, we're like, well, you know, overpopulation that that sort of humanizes him because what a caused need to deal with it. Also, doesn't totally make sense that kind of overpopulation fear, especially if you're fan. I was looking at the scale of the universe right actually, problems the universe. Twenty star gets someplace it'd be like he was it's the universe like the marvel movie. So far haven't really borne out this idea that the whole universe is overpopulated? It's like, I don't know. I guess you could make an argument that earth is. But you know in like the galaxy and stuff like that. And Thor we've seen other worlds that like seem fun as guard like before it got destroyed was like pretty idyllic. It seemed to happy it didn't seem hey, they could fit all the people and as guard on that one ship. So like, they're definitely Asgard was not overpopulated he thinks because he came from titan and titan was so crushingly overpopulated. He just kind of assumes the rest of the universe is like that. When we're even kind of taken us word for it. With titan, aren't we? It's laying on top of it. It's like if you're from Alabama, and you're like, wow, the world loves country music. Enough of it just like you're just projecting your hometown onto the rest of everybody else. I think also for our generation overpopulation, she's just shorthand like we were all told growing up so many times that was a problem the movie kind of leans on that to like. But now, I think I've even seen things where it's like, no, no overpopulation is not the problem. It's the fact that it's resource distribution. It's the fact that like a tiny percentage of the population is using all the resources so saying Thanos really needs is socialism. Well, and also like, even if you're listening at home, and you're like socialism could never solve that something could solve it. And he has a magic love that can do anything. He just needs to do that thing. Whatever it is. Okay. So the other his plan doesn't even work within his own plan because he wants to get the gloves. So you can kill off half the universe. But he's already spent it's been his life's work to go planet to planet killing half people already. So those planets that he's already been to is killed half the people when he snaps his finger at the end, he just kill a half. Like what the fuck, man. What dick I need to see his detailed spreadsheet. Yeah. Keeping track of when he needs to come back to. That's also such a silly seeing because the implications before he has the glove. He's doing this manually. He's going around, and killing, you know, half the population, and it's like a big wars. Yeah. And I I assumed like, oh, this planet has eight billion people. I'll just stop when fourbillion them are dead. No. He literally takes them in divides them and kills all of them on one. Side. That's so unnecessary split them into two groups. Right. Because what you're describing there's a whole scene that's kind of a flashback where he's on a different planet, and we see him just organizing everybody, and I left, and right, and those, you know, and the movie presents that and nobody chimes in or disputes, the heroes are basically like his basic philosophy makes sense. And we just need to stop him. Because it's mean or right, which is crazy because he's just wrong. It doesn't make any sense, right? Like, you said ban. There have been overpopulation fears on earth and sure the earth is just one planet with a finite amount of room at cetera will footnote a podcast that we didn't have passed with the author Charles c man because he did a book recently where among other things it talks about how one of the real problems is not overpopulation, but fears of it because then people do like wars and crazy things to try to gain the resources, I, but also it just doesn't make sense like, for example, that earth had in the year fourteen hundred had had about four hundred million people today, it has about seven point six billion. And that's a huge jump in population. We are also there's still room. There's still food. You know for a lot of people not everybody as the population grows. You also get more farmers. Get more food scientists. There are a lot of ways where the population can grow and it works. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this is also fairly well known. But in the comics as motivation was not noble. It was that he wanted to death. Yeah. Yeah. I did not know. Oh, he he's in love with the personification of death who is a skeleton, but apparently to tighten that's the sexiest thing you can be. And he he thinks the only way to this lady is to kill half the universe like that will get her attention. I guess my question if you think that's better or worse than they went with. He observes the manifestation of death, and he was like deaths. Hobby seems to be death. So I'm going to do that. Hobby. A lot like me it's like seeing someone's really into like cycling fifteen bikes. Wow. I didn't even know that about the origins of it. That's that's great. So then they in the movie and probably tried to graft on some kind of more resonance substantially is substantially less horny than. And there's even there's really labored line in the tag the first offenders movie where they introduce him like whoever famous is like Todi is saying like oh to fight via vendors would be to court death. And if you're like, a narrator, you're like, oh, that's you know, that's a hint that his motivation little Smirke smile. And also, the the other thing I've read is they weren't even there was no master plan to make him the villain Jocelyn. You just kind of threw that on at the end of the avengers. And he just like went with it like the entire ten year marvel university it's been kind of like a long improv scene, which I think actually what makes it work because they commit to big decisions like that. It's like a TV show. They didn't try to like really lock it in an instructor it. They just kind of like whatever seemed to be working. They they went with that. And dug into it. I both understand more how they wrote a villain that doesn't make sense. Because like you say they were sort of just loosely figuring out where where this unprecedented film universe would all lead to you know. And also, it's just so amazing that Infinity wars basically, like the culminating movie of all movies of the last. Ten years, and it had a villain that doesn't make sense and noticed. I also want to point out that I did fucking love the movie like even though we're kind of hiding on the villains motivation. I I enjoy four times. I was the one who brought down movie pass, actually. Sorry, everybody as long as chase scenes vendors three times, our business model works you movie. It's still an impactful movie. And maybe it almost helps sneak the just basic logic issue with the villains. I mean, everything else about the movie is so impressive. Just the fact that it has this and the fact that they're able to pull all that together. And that this story is really fun to watch and everything like that. Like, I don't want to say it makes up for it. But it did make me not think about it in the theater. I didn't think about it until later. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So and if you're out there population could be a thing, but especially on a universe scale. Don't worry. Yeah. And his thing of it being random the fact that it's random means that it's killing farmers and people who are producing these things. So it's like, right. It's not going to help. Yeah. It's not it's not like judicious or solving anything. There's some just just better logistics targeted killings. Population. Casts was always gonna end with endorsing Dennis a question of how long? Let's go a little bit into the past to the classic home alone. Two home movie. Also, we should say that Bannon's example comes from five recent blockbusters that forgot to prove the villain wrong by Mark hill. And then this one comes from five movie villains who were completely right? The whole time by Nathan what hausky. No, the bandits were not, right and home alone two. But if for people don't remember it Kevin McAllister is lost in New York. That's the subtitle. And he's at the plaza hotel where the concierge is Tim curry and has always bothering them. And we really don't like him for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you? Remember, I remember you've seen the movie. To be a kid. I think I mean, you're just implicitly on Kevin McAllister side because that guy's an adult over there. And he's being a jerk and he's British. So you know, he's an asshole. Yeah. I like the handsome as the white hat, and then British is the black great. I think that's a whole genre of movie adult because I think that also exists in Dunston checks in. Oh, yeah. Jason alexander. She's very mad. There's a monkey loosen Izzo tell which is very understandable. Yeah. I haven't seen that movie. But I know there is a whole history of villainous hotel concierges. Nobody who runs hotel. What is Kevin McAllister doing wrong in that movie? I'm trying to remember like other because he he's he has a credit fraud. He's still as father is credit card. Everyone is morally worse in home alone. Two. I'm just now realizing like like, you were just saying, Harry and Marv they're definitely not on the right side of this movie because they're out of jail and this movie they're motivated by a desire to murder wasn't their motive in the first movie. They just wanted to rob some houses and the kid got in their way and the second movie, they're motivated entirely my murder. Essentially worst people, but yeah, Kevin becomes a thief steals. His father's credit card and this movie because they had to explain how he could survive in New York, right? It's official crime. Yeah. Talk boy to pose as his father on the phone. Kevin was racking up huge hotel fees on his father's dime. His hardworking father Peter mcalister, and because he tries to use the card to and Tim curry who's play. His name is Mr. hacker in the movie is like really grilling him. And they make a whole thing out of what a jerky is for grilling him. Yeah. To detect the crime that is right. It's amazing. That was where the talk was a toy sold on that. It would let you commit fraud as a child. I remember even the commercials. Imitating your appearance voice or the way they make Tim curry seem worse is because he's not concerned that this kid is by himself. He more just wants to catch him. You know, what he wants to get? And that's why it's easier on. You're right. They like imply that he just wants to like win this cat and mouse game even though winning. It would mean then getting a child back to their family, probably pretty good. There's also there's a part in the movie that other than the the famous talk by move does the confuse people. He also has that like black and white gangster movie that he always likes to twenty eight big meals and. And Kevin McAllister uses the movie angels with dirty faces in his room to like confused, the hotel staff into thinking that there's not a child in there. There's a bunch of adults other movies. But in this case these convincing a hotel staff that they're adults firing guns in the. And you're you're laughing at them for being afraid of a possible shooting spree is not. I liked it in the home alone extended universe that all adults just are fooled by loud audio like anyone just here's something like, oh, those are people in that room. It's it's like they're all dogs or something. It's like they think that any any sound is comes from a real person and not potentially TV screen. They also redo the bit. We're in the first one they see Michael Jordan's cut out in a window. And they assume there's a Dulce poem. Oh, yeah. In front of a mirror. In the shower. I'd be very concerned about that person. That's their silhouette. Yeah. And also peaking the movie not aging while like in hindsight, it's a movie where we disliked Tim Curry's character more than we disliked Donald Trump, which is pretty right? Donald Trump is a hilarious goof in the movie, you know, he had already done that central park five stuff. And then Tim curry is like a bad guy. It's amazing. Yeah. That is crazy that with them that movie is most famous for now is just a cameo featuring our current president. Let's look at another kids movie. Maybe we've got the little mermaid that Disney. Classic right. Want to get? That's of the first movie that I remember seeing theaters actually probably because they had some kind of crazy sexual weakening -tario. Yes. Comfortable guys. Right there with Millon. But obviously Ursula is the villain on the movie. And why I don't know at best. She's like a loan shark. She's taking souls as collateral. But no, I think you're what you're talking about is sort of the there is an implied relationship between Ursuline TRITON. And we don't know why Ursula has been exiled to this shitty cave. We'll try and gets to live in. Yeah. Golden palace. It looks like penises. That's that was I think that was like the first Easter egg. I ever learned about the internet was the the little mermaid has like penises and the structures. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, purposely or otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of the hidden sex stuff in Disney movies is like, oh, these animators fun per. No wonder aerial so fucking hot. Just reminded the cartoons were made by men in their forties. It does feel like the movie begs for some kind of flashback or something. And I don't know if they ever did it any of the like straight to video sequels or anything. Yeah. I usually hate stuff like Melissa sent the stuff that sort of fills in the unnecessary backstory. But I would totally watch a trained Ursula prequel and see what their beef was. Yeah. Because when we pick it up TRITON as a king and Ursula is like like, basically like a guerilla witch outside of it. Right. Who's giving favors to people when they come to her if I remember right aerial seeks her out, she doesn't like go and find her right? You know, I don't know it seems like she's just a pretty aggressive business person. Yeah. I mean, she signed the contract. And also as we talked about it really leans on the coding of buff. Man is good and drag Queen is bad. This old man nipples blazing. Clearly, the hero and Lindy west book. It's called trill. It's very funny. But she calls king traded p ninety x seeking. Yeah. Actually, she's very good. Those. And she's landed the best jokin spot. What if I? I think it's especially easy with kids movies or movies where it set in some kind of mythological fantastical context to just drop us into the world. And then we're supposed to take for granted who has been running things positively and who has not like, there's no political context. Any of this score? Feels like you kind of just is plagiarized version of Ursula. I mean exile with like possibly sexually deviant. Yeah. Last handsome. Because we can all judge lie on handsome this. Yeah. With their little like lackeys at their feet, or whatever it's pretty much the same same Bill. And again, I think even as a kid The Lion King that bug me a little bit just because it seemed like there was no particular reason, the hyenas we're not allowed to have a place to live and and things to eat, you know, day, especially call attention to that. Because the first move also gives this big monologue about how everything lives, in harmony things die for a reason, the gazelle become the earth, and we, you know, it's all great. And since it was like, but what about the heinous, and he's like, oh, they never talked. The whole movie opens with the big basically, a huge celebration where everyone every being on the savannah is out there. Yeah. It's very. Not on the violence. Wow. Yeah. He really beat by beat is like even grass as part of my king grass is important. I mean, I don't know enough about hyenas. Do they suck? Like do. They second real-life. Maybe they do. I feel like I don't know about you guys. But hyenas, I believe a scavenging kind of animal. Yeah. Like something else will die, and then they will eat it after it was first eaten by something else. And I feel like scavenging animals are always villains. Just because even though even though scavenging is is very much part of just just the ecosystem. That's how it works. Right. It's very important kind of except for the jungle book where those voters are the Beatles. I don't know if that's. Portray the way because it's kind of more ethical like to eat something that's already dead is you're not causing that thing any paint. Yeah. It is kind of more ethical than being a lion. Yeah. And that's was another example of like, they just draw the heinous ugly. So it's like, oh, we don't like them because they're ugly. Right. And there's guy. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like in cartoons. Any asymmetrical is situation as an idiot or Ed either craziness or or evil also in life? No, just in general, I feel like people consider symmetrical faces more attractive, and I just shakes when they did that. At all. Yeah, you're right. They are they're playing on our psychology. Right. Yeah. It's so amazing that they cannot fill in story logic to right, and it just works. Whether you know, we're also looking at it through twenty years in a way that like at the time, it was considered nuance that like move Fossa had this monologue about how there was a circle of life that it wasn't just bad and good. And then. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And now twenty years on that looks you know, it's like the holes in that are also obvious us and never thought of the lion. King is like a product of the Clinton era or something. What the political stage was, but yeah. Well, speaking of us around that time, good old Wayne's world. Oh, good time. You know, Aurora Illinois is finest moment and shot out whenever he can where you guys like SNL fans when that was getting I feel like I caught up with it a little bit after I think I feel like I saw Wayne's world first and then did us no later. Yes. I think too. Yeah. Which is also how a consumed space balls and then Star Wars. Do ever. I work with I worked with a writer who had also had that same situation. And he was so not interested in Star Wars. He was like why did they make it? Why would they make space was not funny, but they take the good part of his face worst movie. Guys got a point. But yeah, I don't know. I I definitely was aware of Windsor. We'll just because it was so in culture, but I don't know. I don't know if I ever saw full sketch before I sold the movie, I think you probably saw the movie, I that's a case where they're going from a sketch where you don't really need a villain at all. It can just be them doing the bits in the fake living room. Right. But then they were like we're expanding this to an entire movie. And so they pick the villain, and I was world movie of Roblo pl- was playing a and he in hindsight. It's like he's definitely trying to steal Wayne's girlfriend. Right. It's definitely thing. He wants to do. Yeah. And by steel, I mean, he wants to compete for her affections. Right. She has agency. And then beyond that like, he he's a professional. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it almost seems like maybe it's a reaction to like. I mean, he's wears a suit. And he has like, you know, he's combs his hair and stuff like that. So he was very much the antithesis of like, Wayne and Garth who are kind of like, you know, we're kind of in the grunge era, then so they're like are, you know, the jenex like ideal was like Duda flannel shirt with long hair. That's true hangs on his basement. And wasn't even Benjamin Benjamin. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Yeah. And he is like kind of this like eighties leftovers like yuppie who's in this suit? And so you just are kind of coded to think like, oh, yeah. This guy's a villain. Whereas like if again the eighties. You probably would have been rooting for that. I also realized that Wayne's road is like cartoon reality bites. That's like it's literally the Ethan Hawke and pencil. Yeah. The eighties and the nineties really didn't like each other. At the time. Now, they're both classic. You android? Also does that has that nineties comedy sin of just casting two? Very funny. People have been just an extremely attractive woman. And that is her value in the movie. That's that's why Wayne's world is. That's why Wayne is attractive tragic tickets Andrew just because he gets a audible Boehner. That makes them go swing. That's tell us. He's having. And and as an audience where not like that's weird. We're like the joke have been waiting the entire film. But yeah, I think my point is that like his argument of why she should be with him as no more valid than rob Lowe's argument. They just both. They both think she's attractive. Yeah. And that's why. Yeah. Right. They both think she's very attractive and then Roblo butts into the movie because he wants to basically professionalize the Wayne's world TV show, and then he in the process wants to boost Cassandra's career, and that is probably good. I don't know. It's like supposed to not like that. They're shooting it in a studio now instead of his basements, like let's good production values. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like once you like know anything about how TV works. It's like, oh that actually makes more sense. It's supposed to be like they're selling out or whatever. But it's you know, I don't know they do something that they have to advertise a video game. Yeah. That's that's. No knows arcade. Yeah. Was because the it's I think the owner of the arcade comes on. And they have to interview him and talk to him about his arcade. And that's a that's a pretty ordinary advertisement. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that bad and our kids probably really fun. And and Wayne goes in like, you know, reds a bunch of things on the backs of all the car this is so clearly a conversation between people in their thirties. Completely flipped. If I was twenty if I was still twenty three I might mildly side more with Wayne. But now, I'm just old and tired and like paying my rent. When I was a kid. I do think I felt bad for Noah. And then seeing because. Yeah, you sound like a nice guy. Yeah. It's Brian Doyle Murray. I think plays them. And it's like they don't say that like he's done. Nothing wrong except own a business. Like, we ain't got doesn't like him because he's successful. And it's like, you know, I don't think I don't recall him doing anything that made him be like a dick or anything before. When did that this product is arcade games? Yeah. That rules that should have ended. Really? They should have made it something else. It should have been something less likable like, yeah. Yeah. Also, some tax preparer and him moment that turns Cassandra on Rob Lowe is when she can't tell his hand from a snake is that lay which is supposed to be like this crane metaphorical moment. But just like it's such a weird like not even get that. Get that. It was because he was he's like a snake? Read deeper levels. Like, it's like a prop live snake? Rob lowe's. Like, don't worry you'll be better here. And she's like what your hand feels like a snake? I gotta get outta here. That's that's a big moment. I don't know. Yeah. It seems like I think she made him us. I mean, obviously, they throw it away in the end by having sort of met a deconstructed ending where nothing mess. Yes. In the long term. She probably would have been better off with the nice hot rich man who cared about her career. More more than Wayne Wenli, if nothing else the movie could be like she did the right thing choosing Wayne because he is a nicer guy. Also this other guys like fine now like everything he did it makes sense like a huge problem the ending ending like the last one where everything goes perfect doesn't. He like have like it turns out he wears a toupee or something like that. He gets his hair. Yeah land, and how dare someone be? All right. He had he had both the evil hares bald and slicked all the way right unacceptable. 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Three you probably know the progression of the rest of the things I'd say because that is a huge franchise, and it is very very fun. My Twitter avatar is me in a new California Republic t-shirt. The new California Republic is a fictional place. That's part of that game. Where the the bear on the flag has two heads, isn't that fun radiation mutation? It's crazy and Bethesda game studios is going to welcome. You to fall out seventy six which is an online prequel where every surviving human is a real person, you're working with actual. People on the internet or not working with them to survive. The wasteland it is the largest and most dynamic world ever created in that fallout universe. It is reclamation day twenty one zero two and it's twenty five years after the bombs fall you and your fellow vault dweller's emerge into post nuclear America. You can play solo or join together as you explore quest. Build and triumph against the wastelands. Greatest threats ball out seventy six we'll be available worldwide on Wednesday, November fourteenth pre-order it now at participating retailers and play the beta games play best on Xbox One. What if we talk about being credible films? Oh, yeah. Syndrome man is so complicated because Pixar movies or classic for being so thematically tight. Yeah. Like, and you know, there's usually one line in them that you can pull out that sort of is your key to the film, and the incredible seems to think that it's if everybody's super nobody super, and I I sort of understand where Brad is coming from. But like it does it doesn't sound that bad. It's kind of a Randy in idea. It's like this kind of activist take on on things. And yeah, if you watch that movie back now like the first one, especially like, Bob Parr, Mr. incredible would have been a Trump supporter like one hundred percent like he's he's time talks about like, all these participation metals. Like, oh, he gets so close to saying snowflakes. It's your day. And. Yeah. And and with syndrome does bad he he'd like the what what the movie says he doesn't is. He's wants to give his technology other people. So they can also be super, and it's not clear why that's bad. Yeah. Yeah. This I think is one of the clearest examples of this because that yeah. The movie never other than the fact that syndrome is like a ginger nothing. No reason is ever given for and I guess he's like kind of a jerk to his girlfriend. How many hairs are positive for heroes? Which was we can't do bald. Gingered? Yes. So his technology is it would be a good thing. And the moment when you turn on him as an audience is when he creates a situation that he has to then flying solve because that is you know, he's he's lying. He also honest and his yeah, there's a sort of cowardice to it almost because he's controlling the the things that he's fighting. I mean, he lures people to his island in the murders them, right? Yeah. Like he's killed like ten superhero. But but before that, you know. Yeah. Well, right because we've ever that's bad. And then we never questioned what drove him to it. Right. I think earlier part in the movie where he's a kid who's an inventor. And Mr. incredible tells him to cut it out stupid and bad, right? Yeah. And so that like breaks his heart and sets them on a path. And. Yeah, and yeah. Yeah. The murder definitely makes them a bad guy. He was what you're saying. But his motivation is like now that I'm thinking about it. Mr. incredible never there's never a moment of him. Does he ever come to grips with the fact that he kind of created syndrome? I don't recall him. I know he's mostly concerned for his family and stuff like that. But there's never Mon where he like apologizes to him. Yeah. I don't think like what he did. You know what I mean? Like benway brought up that speech. He does where he the famous line is like when everyone is super no one will be because his goal is to like just provide people with technology that improves their lives, all of our favorite company line. It's all on his delivery that makes it sound evil. But really anything like, oh that sounds great. Yeah. That'd be super like when everyone has health care. Everyone health care like, yeah. Probably that's good. I do think it's interesting to look at it in the context of Brad bird who is a guy who was like an animation prodigy. But for the first like ten years of his career was frustrated by. And not letting him do what he wanted to do like history and was always to work for Disney. But when he got to Disney, it was in the worst phase of the company what they were doing like FOX and the hound and and recycling animation not spending money on it. Oh, like, why are we being held the civil of mediocrity? Why won't you just let me make great movie? So in terms of his personal narrative. Sure, I get it. But also the message that like also the idea that if you just let talented people do things it will turn out. Okay. I don't completely buy. The idea that you just you just let people with natural abilities. Do great things. Everything will be fine. I think is not which I think is probably kind of Randy, and yeah, you're saying. Interesting to look at him and see where that came from in his personal life was this like his first movie that he directed. No iron giant giant, of course. Which also was a thing where he kind of through the benefit of a company not paying attention. He got to make an amazing movie that just right? Did not do. Well. Yeah. And very, very heartfelt. Yeah. That's movie secretly darker. Yeah. And then he made Reta TUI, which I believe has kind of similar themes of like the villain in that movie or wants to make cooking easier. So that everyone can do right, isn't it? Yeah. The chef is like doing a line of here's how you can cook at home and anyone can cook. I think he'll that one that one's a little more nuance. Because I think the way that it ends is like I think it's me even be a line that the food critic says, yeah, I think they get on board with. No, it's not okay. If it's not that everyone should be able to cook. It's that a good cook can come from anywhere. And yeah, you're right. So it works out probably works out, positively. Yeah. But. Yeah. Right. That's a nice refinement of the incredible message. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I also have just kind of it gives me a gross feeling whenever a movie just sorta like shits on a critic like wins over you know, when. Whatever movies about like making a critic, look, I mean that critic he comes around in smart intelligent way, but just like proving reducing a critic to tears and proving them wrong is the point of the movie always makes money. This is like a weird Tara fantasy. And then with the incredible to there's a new villain whose name as evil in Denver, which is fun. That's fine. But I feel like her main point in the movie is that we should not be reliant on superheroes to solve all our problems. And she goes about it in kind of dark way. But also also we shouldn't that sounds. Good. Sounds great. Yeah. I mean, she is right. Like, you know, her father dies because he was basically a superhero fan boy. And he was waiting to be rescued when he has a perfectly good panic room. Why build the thing if you're not gonna use it? How many times do you use a panic room in your life? Hopefully, just once. I actually I have I have not seen incredible too. But I'm enjoying this description. It's interesting that they repeat the same kind of themes from the first one that someone who wants to get rid of super. That's the. Yeah. Like, she and her brother, I think it is they appear to be doing a PR campaign to make superhero. Search look good again. So then they can be here in society. But she's secretly trying to undermine them even more and remove them because trying to undermine them even more than the undermine thought. My god. Thought my God thing he was. He is. He is one of my favorite character. Laddy? You barely see. But great. Yeah. He's like the he's like is a Spiderman has like rhino or shockers like someone who's like just someone who can knock off in like, the, you know in the cold open, or whatever they undermine is that for the incredible. I love the incidental villain takedown in any superior favorite part. Just like a hint of another adventure. Because because if people don't remember the undermine or is just a mole themed he just digs under stuff with like binding helmet member yet. He's like the last three minutes of the first movie and like the first three minutes of the second. And also just like I love any sort of the sixties Batman thing of just like all the dialogue is themed like like, just like. I was below you. But now it'll be about. Written very well in that regard cow at like how Schwarzenegger Mr. freeze talks? That's all I stuff. And that's why that's the only part of that movie. That's well. And incredible see like that perspective of we can't count on superheroes to handle things for us, partly because they're fallible and they make mistakes. Yeah. It's basically the premise of something like like watch men or something. Right. Great art, where we're like, this is an amazing realization right here. They just make it the bad guy. Yeah. And then let's also look at while. We're on like huge franchises of this year mission impossible, right? What time how just keep getting better? They really do. And. Yeah, that's a weird. I feel like it's an underexplored phenomenon of right now where franchises like that and fast and the furious somehow peak and like movie five. Yeah. It's crazy this one. This is another one that I saw like thanks movie pass side. But yeah, just to make sure says I think that was the best one out of all of them. And then I thought he was like, yeah. It was it was the best one like fall out this year. Yeah. Yeah. Because I had had a lot of affection for ghost protocol low. The Brad bird one. I thought that was the best one that I looked. It's real newsworthy opened bradberry is listening. Call me, if you go back Brad Trump the podcast now, it's it's it's very it's very goofy. It's very silly. I was I watched all of them in the lead up to follow coming out. And there is some goofiness in for. But I really like that. It's one of the only ones with like a real sense of humor. There's yeah, there's more jokes in that. When there aren't probably the whole rest of them combined. That's why actually I didn't like rogue nation at first because it wasn't funny at all. And that was very dour. But I feel like fallout kind of strikes the balance. Really, well, but yeah, yeah. Yeah. Funny. But also the and then even it has one I think my favorite accidental joking those movies, which is in the trailer. They show the bit where it's from the big fight in a bathroom, and then like stock European party. But they as the fights going they highlighted in the trailer where Henry Cavill like throws one arm out. And then throws the other out. He is ours. Yeah. Emma trailer. There's sort of a gun cocking. This thing. And also just in it seems very natural. Like, yeah, that's Kendra capitals arms work as a very large, man. It looks like his beard grows. More sorry must Astros more than one. And. Yeah. And beyond that villains in mission impossible fall out there. Very scary group called the apostles and their goal is terrorism which is bad. But the reasons for it are they feel waiting for you to come down on the side. There is leading up to and this one is also from Marquel article, which which will link it's great. But they feel that the way the world functions is fundamentally broken because there's constantly more violence and destruction all the time, and they are correct because they live in a mission impossible world. Crises all of the time. But they've also been the cause of that violence and destruction for the past two movies. I think so because he was the group in the previous movie nest that they each one of them I feel like they have a group with real confusing name. And then somehow it splinters into the next name. Like there was some called the syndicate. I think. Yeah. And I it became the apostles. Yeah. I want that bond thing where it's just specter all the time. Here we go. Yeah. What is the bag? I has Solomon Kane Salomon lane. So yeah. So this lane was the syndicate then he got arrested in the apostles with people following his legacy. Alex hope that clears it up for you. It really does. So they they are bad people, and we should not give their viewpoint on credence. But it is that spy thing of late. It's the same with James Bond's world where they're just constant horrible crises where there's an extreme near mess where just one guy saves the day and a world like that does need some reform. Good. There. Correct. But they're also partly the cause. So it's hard to take the message from them. Yeah. Yeah. Like, the whole fact that every couple of years five foot four. Save the entire world is insane. It always comes down to him hanging by his fingertips or cutting a wire at the last moment like, yeah, we want some more of a cushion than that, maybe the end of the what should be a little farther away. Yeah. And this one kind of ends with his wife, Michelle Monaghan returns in this from part three. They're a strange basically because he's protecting her by not being with her. But yeah, it kind of ends with her being like, yeah. He'll always be there. And it's like that's the message of the movies that Ethan hunt will always be there. I mean, that's been mortal man, we'll always. Then I kind of believe it. You know, he'd Scientology is giving him superpowers. I didn't use to think. So I'm starting to like the original mission possible the TV series was on samba was a team. They oughta roles and in the first one I've never seen that show. Actually, oh, it's one of the great action series and everybody, and there's it everybody liked. There's the person who makes the mass. There's the purse there's the person who is the, but it's fun because they're a team. And while there's a nod to that in the first one, they quit quickly becomes the hunt show. I the first movie is the team. Really? Blow up the format of the show. Immediately. Literally also more spoilers for thirty year old movie. They make the hero of the show the villain. Yes. Like Jim Phelps is like I hated either that to go on so many missions so many impossible missions, which is why became bad. Jim Phelps is Jon Voight. And they wanted the original actor back to play him. And when he read the script, he wouldn't do it because Peter graves, he wouldn't do it. Because of what they do to that character. Let's too bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But but the series has become just even hunt and his fan club. Even though he like assume, you know, he presumably has this team. They mostly just stand around and talk about how great even hunt. Yeah. I I guess like they they kind of fight scene in the climax Benji kinda gets fighting in the climax of this one Vinci. I mean, I love Simon Pegg, and I love his performances in these movies. But he is a constant fuck up in those does. I don't think he's had one mission go well since he's been in the field. He needs to go back. Right. What if you logged like ten more hours of training know, I'm yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see I agree with you. And I do, but that's why I do like like four I think has a lot more like team stuff. And I like when they build a team like the my favorite scene in three. I think is the is the Vatican scene where infiltrated the value. Sure. Yeah. And so I like when there's t the team is there, and they're all doing their everyone does have the role and stuff like that. But yeah, it all in the end. It's always just even running down the street. Right. Very fast towards somebody also fingerings who is a great actor, but has gotten like chubbier every movies. He's just gonna be a chair in the next. Really moves less and less every time. I listen to a podcast where the director talked about how his knees weren't great. And that's like rains, his knees aren't great. So that really restricts what he can do. Yeah. But but yeah, you feel bad. But also, it is funny that it's just like become this man like a jaunty cap who just stands around. Is that is also like five degrees. More tilted every movie eventually is going to be it's going to be on the side. Like an earpiece. Yeah. Did the I guess the the greater point that the apostle has that the IMF is bad and should. And maybe there's a reason it falls apart in every movie they're right about that. And I am f- is bad. It what they do. And I feel like in every movie evens bends at least part of the movie disavow drew my in every single one of them. It's like. You're only ever kind of in the IMF anyway. Yeah. This fallout movie. It has sort of a sub villain not that they're evil, but Angela Bassett, and the I think main CIA wants to close the IMF, right? And we exclusively viewers are supposed to be like, not the IMF. They're so good at also causing problems. But fixing them. I think that was literally Alec Baldwin's arc in the last movie. He all he was also the director who wanted to close down the IMF. And then he got like one over in the end, very in very like fast and furious franchise type way where he was a bad guy that eventually got one over to the team right because the rackets do cool. He's going to be other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the other part about the mission impossible movies their auditions to be Tom Cruise's friend. But that if you're good you get to stick around. Bad. You've never seen again. Yeah. If your aims is definitely the best of being as I was just say like Kyrie feary is being rains just being professional and cordial with him, and he actually has friend. I'm very curious. I I think their butts. I think they must be close. I do know that Jeremy Renner who was in two movies. They wanted to bring him back kill him. And Jamie was not much in the same way. Jamie. Remember was not cool with that. He was like they would have the graph to work on a schedule. You're gonna give him a couple of days. But he did not want to come back just to be murdered just to help raise the stakes of the film. Wow. That's an interesting thing about going back and watching four is that three underperformed at the box office. And there was some thoughts that Tom Cruise is star was waning. And so when you go back and watch four you can kind of get the sense that they brought him into that. He might eventually take over the franchise or something I think they actually rewrote the second half of the movie to make Tom Cruise. Like, I think the original script was literally hand off. And then they rewrote it to keep Tom Cruise as the hero. Just because whoever ended up writing a director. They now Tom Cruise is the guy you gotta cruise around which I think is Jerry owner was also supposed to be newborn and that did not. Just let him replace a spy. I I don't really know the workings of it. But as Andrew stand at Tom Cruise kind of produces all the mission impossible movies. Yeah. They're kind of his baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They also more than his actual baby. True. I I wasn't real deep on mission. Buffalo after the last one, and I learned that they write these with literally no script. That's it's location backwards. Like, they figure out what also awesome location they can book. So, you know, I think we're totally. It's totally fair to take shots at the movie's plot because for a long time there wasn't one. The original pitch for fallout was the Tom Cruise has to become a bad guy has to become John lark and like do terrorist things. And then they realize that no one wants to see Tom Cruise do that. Or the Tom Cruise thinks that no one wants to see Tom Cruise do that just has to be the good guy. Yeah. Because he does that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And then they back away from it real quick. Yeah. With all these villains and all these movies. Like, I feel like when people are pitching their great movie idea. It can often be contingent on like hero does a thing. Right. As a way a good version of that, obviously. But I feel like maybe villains aren't always in the pitch. Right. Like, maybe that leads to these villains. That don't then totally make sense, right? Yeah. I have to like reverse engineer something to oppose. Yeah. Also, originally that the apostles had this really like complicated geopolitical goal where they're like, oh, this is the most what's what's the word where does the clinic say place. It's. I'm gonna at somewhere in mountains. They want to hurt a water supply that right? Well, that's what they originally. It was like, oh, this is the most tense Aaron the road geopolitically if we knew this world, it's going to be a domino effect in everybody attacks everybody and then west they're making her like, this is too complicated on Easter stupid. No one gives a shit. It's the water supply, which is like does not really make any sense. I guess a plan. Yeah. Then they're like just terrorists. Yeah. Yeah. Before they were just Harris. But also there was some kind of interesting thing. Yeah. And and also this article, I'm Mark Kelly picks out that broadly, and like the real world there are not world wars as much anymore. There's also statistically a less violent crime based on we'll linka study from the university of Minnesota that since the nineties it's gone down. It went up a bit in the later. Twentieth century, but then way down before that to like in real life. The terrorists argument would not fit the districts, imprinting broadly. But in this mission impossible world. I don't know. Yes. Seems like a lot of cities get smashed up. Because Tom is sprinting, you know. Yeah. I one movie we could talk about is the devil wears product. Because the title implies that one character is the devil. And I don't know maybe they just maybe Meryl Streep just like wants to run a business, and and is like a little aggressive. I don't know. I think this one is especially interesting because it's based on a book where there was an assistant who worked for Anna Wintour, whom random Priestley's based on for like six months and was could not only six months or it was it was less than a year short period of time. And then went off and wrote this like just basically hack job where it's like, oh my God. Can you believe I had to work for this fucking awful person? She made me work so hard, and she she basically did exactly what the point is spike is like trying to make this person seem like event with ever selling it. And then the movie made the very good choice to humanizer a little bit. Oh, yeah. Because we see our like having trouble with her husband. You know? Yeah. There's that scene. I think it's a hotel room in Paris where she has like less makeup on right? And she's human. Yeah. I didn't know the book was so harsh. That's interesting. Yeah. Because I think it's one of the rare occasions where a movie is leagues better than a book. I don't think she's gone onto read anything else either that look that book writer, it's hard to have the lane of be somebody's assistant and write a book about them. Like that over and over again. Experiences. No. Especially in the text of the movie like it seems like we're partly mad at her because she's a lady running. Yeah. And then mad at her because she's like brusque like she throws hold onto table. Right. And then there's the one kind of mind game thing where she demands a steak, and the Harry Potter novel, and that's like hard tasks at I don't know other than being a mean, boss. She's like, it's amazing. They can hang a whole movie on. How mean she is. Right. She's like just kinda brittle rent. Yeah. Well, I mean, everybody knows the real villain of that movie is Vinnie. Chase. Right. I did rewatch recently. It was very distracting. He was at a. And also just like is mad that his girlfriend has a job. Even though he also has an equally demanding job. He's he's supposed to be like a like, a gourmet. Chef right. That's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like slugging it out in the food world to try to on restaurant. So he has thanks to do to get by. Right. I think it's a good point that like the movie would have the potential do that. But I do think they do a pretty good job of like making an argument better than you would expect them to for why Brandon Presley is a good human lady because she it's for one it's Meryl Streep, and you know, you're automatically will mail side. That's true. And she and she gets she gives a monologue about civilian that shows how important blue that was really. Maybe Vinnie chases the villain. That's actually exciting. It's fun because it's like kind of sold as a romantic comedy. But the shittiest people in that movie are every guy she kisses because the Mets list is there and also turns out to be a douche bag. Yeah. I just calling them. Yeah. Because that actor who's plan like an author who secretly a creepy guy and also like is prime to take Miranda previous job like the very casually reveals to Anne Hathaway like oh, yeah. We're gonna we're gonna fire. I'm going gonna be the new boss and surprise when Anne Hathaway is offended by that. Yeah. There's so many watch us movie. Really? I don't know. There's so many different devils. I don't know. Yeah. The end of the movie is Simon Baker opens his jacket, and you see it says products. He was the devil who brought to all along. There's also there's a whole kind of movie I love to talk about two, which is any underdog sports movie. Oh, yeah. This is an entire John rea- where the movie is a usually a less skilled team is up against a better team and our Matt. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you were the team going up against the team that had angels in the outfield, you'd be you'd be real pissed about. Yeah. Yeah. Cheating. God was cheating. And also the also got his cheating baseball. So a deadbeat dad will come back to son. I think it's. The reason. I Google that to make sure which team it was because it's angels in the outfield. It's the real life. I think they were called the California Angels at the time near the Los Angeles. Anaheim angels, whatever it is in the in the movie they're gonna pennant race. And then it's they're up against the Chicago White Sox. And like that final game. It's like, oh, they find the strength to not cheat. And just do it without angel power. But either way we're supposed to be mad at the White Sox for trying to beat them. Just the other team. It's all they do. Only sin was not having a fans with broken families connections to. Connections to. The other one I thought that was major league where it's the Cleveland Indians are like this team that are heroes despite their mass. Then they look all over the movie. I think it's on the cover. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. And then the their independent race with the Yankees. And they really they make the Yankees batters look like hairy and mean and. Oh, yeah. Mustaches. And like, yeah. Yeah. It's like, well, I'm supposed to be mad at this guy because he didn't shave this morning. Yeah. They're just trying to play baseball. We're so mad. I mean, if you're gonna pick it seems to be the villain Yankees is definitely the way to go. Yeah. That made sense if and even like, yeah. And I feel like you keep seeing that even even with like rag tag group of kids movies, like the they're against some other team that I think just tried heart. That was mostly off of that the replacements which is saying that I mean that saying that unions are bad. Oh, yeah. They're pro gaps. Yeah. Yeah. I I know of it. I haven't seen it. Oh, the whatever they call the fake NFL because obviously the NFL any branding the NFL goes on strike, and it's all these like rich spoiled like meat heads who are just like, you know, one more money. And so he'd be scrappy scrappy, you know, plucky scabs led by Keanu Reeves come in and play football in their place. And God, that's so anti. The NFL didn't sponsor. The end of that movie must be they play the actual NFL's. Now that movie wraps up on tremor with. No, it's actually kind of that movie. Kind of charms me away. It's one of those movies. It's like permanently on TBS whenever you turn on. It's a third of the way through that movie. Even though the messages, so like terrible. But yeah, I think in the end they win whatever the last game is, and then they just turned the team back over to the Gotcha. And they all kind of go their separate ways. And they like stop playing football. That's that's just so on the side of ownership. I assume ownership must be involved because they play the games. Like ownership must be letting these people. I forget I forget the exact oh, yeah. I forgot how they justify the context of the movie. Yeah. But yeah, you're totally. I mean me and chase are also members of a union with a lot of highly paid members and. If there if there was a replacement shot the writers guild, we would be the bad guys. Sure it was written by fellow. What if they got into the writing writing writing the most anti union move, then they make a sequel and someone comes in it. Doesn't virtue non union replacement. Thanks that is the episode for this week. My thanks to chase Mitchell. And Ben Joseph for taking the time to blow up fan. Asus. Whole plot. With me, we took it out. Right. We're we're like the Infinity where sequel really like, we're we're the guys I think we save the day. And I think you will enjoy this week's food newts which are loaded with articles and videos about the movies that we allow to demonize the wrong people. Also, we've got chased Mitchell and Ben Joseph's Twitter accounts there because they're both unbelievably funny on that platform. And I wish I could also link it a like, you know, Hollywood business they're doing there's like, new pilots and stuff. I can't say anything about it. It's their business. But once there is news about it. I will shout it to the rooftops from Twitter account, and my Twitter account is at Alex, smitty, my Instagram at Alex Smith's to Graham, I'm on the wider internet at my website, Alex, Smith dot com. And if you love this episode, that's great. If you hate it. Let me know about it on that social media. It's what it's four. Also, our theme music is Chicago Felker. By the Budo spanned we were engineered by Sam Kiefer and edited by Chris Sousa today. And I'm here to say we will be back another day next week with more crack podcasts about that talk to you. Support for today's show comes from fallout. Seventy-six Bethesda game studios, the award-winning creators of Skyros and fall out for welcome. You to fall out Seventy-six, the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person work together or not to survive ball out seventy six we'll be available worldwide on Wednesday, November fourteenth preorder now at participating retailers and play the beta games play best on Xbox One. 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12 Ridiculously Obvious Lies & Cons (That Fooled The World)

The Cracked Podcast

52:31 min | 2 years ago

12 Ridiculously Obvious Lies & Cons (That Fooled The World)

"Hey, there your meat, and you should let people know about it with a website from squarespace who are supporting this show because they want you to know they have beautiful templates created by world-class designers. The you can turn into a website. That captures you for the world so had to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain support. For today's show comes from fallout. Seventy six Bethesda game studios, the award-winning creators of Skyros and fallout. Four welcome yet, a fallout seventy six the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person worked together or not to survive fallout. Seventy six is now available. How about that by Xbox One? Get fallout seventy six. They're bolts. Welcome to another episode of the crack podcast, the podcast all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt, and I'm head of podcasting here at cracked. I'm also known as Schmidt. He the clam most Schmidt e the champ, and I am also also astounded by the human brain, our topic. This week is the most ridiculously successful lies in cons of all time. One more time that is the most ridiculously successful lies and cons of all time. I think it's pretty self explanatory. And it's also pretty mind-bending because the three of us are going to here on this show. We prepared very hard. We learned a lot about the history and the present day of enormous lies in cons that somehow worked and so up top we get pretty into the fun weeds of just how brains could fall for this stuff in the first place. And why we might even want to there are a couple of examples up top. And then a lot more Rolodex. The rest of the way. And when I say, we about the people on the show we have to or. Turning guests who I'm so excited to have on Danielle Radford and Jenny Jaffe, you might know Danielle from her stand up or screen junkies or podcasting tights and fights amazing show about wrestling and so much more. And then Jenny Jaffe creates TV shows for I f see has worked with me at college humor and has written for Nickelodeon. Disney and more. They're both very very funny. Also, very very perceptive about performance art, whether it's wrestling or getting a character's head when you're right in them. And I think all three of us had a lot of fun trying to figure out what makes these people tick. And why they would do these insane things. And I think you'll have fun as we do it. So please sit back or lay down in some sort of brain scanner because there's got to be some lobe of the brain that that makes us all Mont believe lies. Right. You know, it's an anatomical thing. Other other than making no sense. It makes a lot of sense either way. Enjoy this episode of the crack podcast with Janney Jaffe, Danielle Radford. I'll be back after we wrap up. Talk to them. And so people know your voices, Jenny speaking say Hello. Hi, this is Jenny Jeffy and Danielle. Hi, I'm Danielle Radford. And we're talking today about cons and lies historical ones relatively modern ones. Just arrange them. I feel like I grew up thinking cons only happen in movies. And they are the heros. That was my understanding of tricks and cons. I don't know about you guys. Yeah. Kind of I mean, they were always like, oh, it's the really hot guy who's a con artist. But he'll love you, Wayne. Oh, totally. Well, it's like, she's the no not. She's the man that or like because she's the Artis. You're right. Actually, it's always that thing of like at the end, they're going to be like, oh, man. I really I had a bet in place to date you. But then I met you now nobody even has to pay me. You don't just just me that much like that's all I want. Once we made you take a shower or whatever we took off your glasses. You're so much hotter. When you can't see your drive safely. It was. So when we took you to the Sephora store, they changed your face by putting another face on top of it. Yeah. I guess that is like weird. It's like con artists. I mean, even like fairytales and stuff where it's just like disguising. And yeah, it's the seat based often when Aladdin was like one hundred percent leg prince, and I like your tiger. Or whatever literally read, I'm I'm sure we'll get into read about a guy who was pretending to be a Saudi prince a believe Aladdin is a perfect example of only in film could somebody pretend to be Royal. And it just works for a long long time, and they get a bunch of stuff, but we've got multiple stories hear people pretending to be royalty. And it just works. And there's this one guy here. His name is Anthony Guinea AC and he from correct article called five over the top lies that worked ridiculously well by Alexander and Anthony was in Florida, and he checked into the grand bay hotel as prince Khalid of the house of sowed, and they immediately let him rack up twenty seven thousand dollars in debt from his hotel. Well, that's the crazy thing about so many things we've read if you lie. Huge people will be like no would lie about that. And if you think there's a chance you might be telling the truth, it's like, well, I guess the other option is to piss off this person who claims to be the richest person in the world. So I guess we'll give him a room in some lobster. The idea of people just giving stuff t immediately on credit is what's craziest to me is like so I just looked this up. There was that story that went around earlier this year about Anna Delhvi. Oh my God. I was totally. Yes. Thank you for bringing us out. 'cause I just read this article last night. She's amazing. So all she did was go around pretending to be like this socialite. My understanding is she never really said who she was related to or whatever. But she would get into these amazing rooms she would by all of the stuff, and she would befriend journalists and make friends with all these famous people and just be around because apparently she was that charming. And then when things would go wrong, she would talk to her buddies and be like, I just need to borrow some money. So I can get out of whatever. So she was you know, the take from Peter to pay Paul. Yeah. And she did that for. Here's the crazy thing is like people aren't really going to ask questions in like certain circles about where money's coming from. Or I mean, if you're just claiming this it's like, it could be coming from anywhere people know that there might be some kind of illicit source that you don't want to say, you could be protecting the identity of a very famous purse, relative or something, and I think people just took her on faith because because she was living so big and like in these circles, and people don't have any reason not to believe her. She's also foreign so people were like, I guess like, I don't know who all the famous foreign people are like, I don't get the sun. I don't know who this person is. And so what would happen as she would invite people on these lavish vacations and these like bungalows and these beautiful islands in remote areas. And then when the Bill came do she would say, oh, something went wrong with my wire transfer, but I've been treating you to these kind of occasions for forever. Could you please put this on your credit card that I will pay you back, and so she wound up owing like a journalist fifty grand? Yes, something she, but she was always paying for everything in cash because she was depositing fraud. Ellen checks before they could figure that out that was the seed money, and from there also she was claiming that she was starting some kind of arts institution. Yup. Getting investors into this sort of fraudulent business and then doing all these famous people because famous people love art, and so you like one or two of them, and then they bring their friends along. And this plot involves a number of things that I feel I don't understand very well in a general way, you know, like art institutions don't really know what they are wire transfers don't really know how that works. Totally exotic locations only know a few of them easily is that thick. I always really fascinated by the sort of like page six lake world that sort of lake glamorous lake LA has it. But it's very celebrity based I think but hard to get to hers very gated, right? And like, but like New York, and like London these cities where there are people who are just socialites mess their job, and they just do appearances, and they just sort of stuff. And so there's this this group of people where they're sort of like actual role is very nebulous. It's like, I'm a DJ. It's like you put together a playlist, but people will pay you thirty thousand dollars a night to press plan that playlist and then just be there. It's like the club kids like the party monster. So yeah era club kids now. So she just like defrauded all these people and then ended up at Rikers island where apparently the hottest parties. Yeah. She seems really legitimately maintains like I was putting together like she's probably some kind of like sociopath or something. Because once she was in jail. She wasn't like, obviously, I did all these schemes. She was just like at just the wires. You know, they were crossed. Not for a lot of people on the list that we have because most of them definitely seem like they are straight up cardis. But I think it is for some people. They think if they can keep the con-going eventually it will turn a profit. And it will no longer be a con it will be their life like that it. So smart. That's I mean, kind of Donald Trump. Oh, God, he keeps coming up on podcasts and all kinds of topics and it's he's wild. And I'm not surprised the social late layer of society is where a lot of these cons kind of happen. You know, like like, even I remember being astounded to learn that there are restaurants where they don't list the price of each item on the menu. Right. It's just on the menu because they know like, well, we're sort of above money at this point like you'll just pick the things you want you can afford them. And it'll be fun. And you should definitely know if it involves like if it's a desert that has golden it don't eat it that restaurant. It's not Tony gold. I think it's also that thing of the reason you can do it in these like really really upper lake one percent circles is that people don't have to be very careful with their money. If somebody came to one of us and was like, hey, give me fifty thousand dollars. I am sure. We would really specifically want to know why was going and we'd want to like there would just be layers of authentication in like it wouldn't be just like a. Yeah. Sure. You know what? I mean, like, I think that's, but if you're just like used to tossing around that much money on a daily basis, then it doesn't you can like the article kept saying like it was all people who could afford to be forgetful about three thousand dollars to time with Anna Delhvi like, yeah. Yeah. Because when when she was with journalists, they must be wealthier journalists know, they weren't they thought they were there for the ri-. That's where. Oh, that's where it ended. Another thing is when you're in those big circles talking about money becomes gauche. Like, it's it's ten don't talk about money. And so for someone to ask you for something, which is why an artists collective or an art museum is such a great cover because that's a way that you can ask people for specific amounts of money without being tacky because it's toward the arts. And they need it for some reason. Right. And you're like if I ask why I'm don't care about the arts, probably or that thing of you don't want to be the person who doesn't know who the person is. Of course, I know them or like I had this weird experience a while ago. I got involved with a production company like when I was in college as an intern, and I started really having questions about where the funding was coming from. And because the movies and TV beginning made and things. Oh, everybody working. There was an intern. And like a lot sort of didn't add up, but it was the same thing. Where like no matter who I brought up this the person who was running it would claim. To be their best friend or claim like, oh, we know each other. Well, and then I would say to that person. Like, oh, this person knows you and nobody ever knew who there was a movie that was made on just that movie forty three. Oh my God. I forgot about that. Yeah. You're right on the premise of these dudes tricked all of these people into being in this terrible sketch movie by saying this person's in it in this person's in it in that person's in it and made them feel as though they were uncool to do it. And it won't up getting. I'm literally gonna bring up the because the credits on this to give us if the worst movie all time, a Stonestreet, Stephen merchant, Richard Gere Beck when he was doing nothing leave Shriver Dennis Quaid, great Canir common. Who I like to think he would do better Seth MacFarlane? Hugh Jackson hate on wing for now. Holly berry like the list. I Naomi watts. The list just goes in. Chris Pratt like all of these people because like he tricked all of them by saying other amazing people were attached. And no one thought to ask so brilliantly like who is this person? Because it was that idea of like, well, I don't wanna be the one who's not cool. It's such a I want to know who the first star was they must've felt so silly. Oh, man. Nothing. Also just might have just lied about somebody else. Yeah. People like hoped people wouldn't double check like the in the article about Anna Delhvi it mentions that she and this is like the worst person to pretend to be besties with. But she's at some party, and she introduces Martin Shkreli is like her best friend. Porter. Like, oh, yeah. Like, we'd met that was the first time we've met I have this podcast with rapper open. Mike eagle? He's great. He's amazing. We talk wrestling. So for one of his birthday parties, we went to a bar and we just played connect four because he's like a connect for hustler. And so we get there. And there's this gorgeous girl there. She's talking to everyone. She's doing the thing. Everyone is talking like their friends. And so at the end of the night, I'm getting ready to leave. And I'm like, oh, I don't wanna pay the money to like, call an Uber. But whatever I will. And she's like, oh, I'll give you a right back. And it's like she had been ingratiating herself in with the group, and and was introducing people to each other people were introducing her to other people. I was like, okay. People know her I get in the car. She's just an extreme groupie. Now, I'm terrified and I'm like just dropped me off at the liquor store here. I'll walk home from here. And she's like are you sure? And she's asking me all these questions about Mike like she found a way to like make it seem like she was a part of a group. And that was a lesson learned for me. That's like a weird thing. Also. And I am like, Shirley, like, maybe you guys I feel like you're wolf is like exactly the level that I'm talking about of like people who people think they know because they're on podcast or or whatever, but people who aren't like famous enough to have like a protective system around them. So it's very easy to get close to them. And then like they're always be a thing after show where it's like everyone's going out for a drink. And then there's always like the one person who's like I'm coming to and everybody kind of soom somebody else's vouching for them. And then it's like, oh, let's make it weird. And be like who do you know, if you're a generally trusting kind person like you don't assume anybody's right weird. Normally if no one's being weird. It wouldn't be a thing. Like if she. He would have just been hanging out there, and like having her experience, it wouldn't have been anything. It was the fact that she was asking me like these very scarily probing questions. Most of that. Is that information that I have created that their goal was just information, which is like a level of this kind of con- like they just wanna get closer, which is very creepy. It's not I'm not justifying it. But then there's people like Anna w who the goal is money like your your life savings or whatever. Or I wish I had no morals. I wish morals, and I never had to worry about what my mom might think. Oh my God. No, I'm so self conscious about like do people hate me all the time. Confidently be like give me money. I don't even care. I feel like if we had that confidence. We would have taken this town over by now. Absolutely imagine those folks their talent is getting that money, but they don't have anything else to do with it. Can you imagine having talent? And that confidence at the end of the article too. She was like a lot of people want this. But not everybody has the talent for it. And it is it's a you said that she's talented. It's it's a learned skill. It's seems like crumble under this latest like interrogation like somebody like if I tell somebody something, and they're immediately like gimme a detail about this. I'm like, no sorry. I'm late repent. Like where she's just like. Yeah. Also, here's a bigger lie. And I know this person and also like when she would say, you know, I know this person or I know that person if they would dispute or something then she would be like, oh, we met here. And like, they didn't remember whatever was like there are people that I actually know that I'm friends with. And if we were in public, and I said hi to them, and they didn't say hi back. Go to the bathroom for twenty minutes. Absolutely. Hey, good to see you. And I walk up to them. And they're in a group of people, and they cold-shouldered me. I would immediately. Take an Uber home and like eat apple Jackson that would be my weekend. Yeah. Okay. Wait. So here's the podcast. It's you and me, and we try and get into like, very exclusive venues and events and stuff like just like wearing wires. And basically like the game isn't whether or not we get in. It's how long can we keep going? But where we God. Yeah. Exactly before we will go, home and cry for a while. I I imagined you not with wires, but with enormous microphone or it's like Damian on my shoulders, and we're in a trench. Hello. Hey noble. Like, why are you extra tall? I mean, I am a model. Bet podcast. It would be pretty functional in that like sorta like with a lot of these cons. It feels almost like a video game or something where there's like levels. They're just moving up like this, Anthony, Guinea guy. It's GIGN AC. If it's pronounced that way. But he initially racks up all that debt at that, Florida hotel room pretending to be a Saudi prince he's arrested for this brought in and then he convinces his court appointed lawyer that yes, I am a Saudi prince he saw the lawyer the lawyer drives him to an AmEx office where he tells them he needs a platinum card, and he succeeds, and it has a two hundred million dollar credit line. And he spends as much as he can on at the entire day before he's then finally caught. It's crazy. It's like he kept beating bosses when I was reading all these. I was like I don't understand what they think the end game is anything Danielle's. Totally right. I think the idea is like if I keep lying at some point. It will just become true. Yeah. Wow. We're like it won't be legal anymore because I'll. Found myself out like have the money to bail myself out of anything, but they've spent so long working on this one skill that, they don't have any of the others that would get them the money. You know, it's like, Bobby Bobby Fischer is great at playing chess. But like what else does that do do, you know, and so they're playing people chests, and if they ever were to get to a point because with Anna, her her art thing could have worked at it could have been something that was profitable for her. But she has spent so much of her effort being a con woman like she doesn't know how to do all the other stuff, but it's not like they ever can take a breather to take a class in like Lor. Right because they were being kind of not human to get there. And then they can't turn it off. And be like, oh, well now, it'd be human and watch the sunset chill. It a cabin or something. It doesn't work. There's definitely an element of just pathological lying where like even the details. It's like, whatever. And they love it, obviously. Yeah. I mean, she was having fun. Like, she was anybody who's pulling off one of these cons. It's gotta be somewhat fun. In the meantime, all the oceans movies make it look that way. Yeah. That's the entire genre. We're like one of the people in like an oceans movie, I would just have like anxiety diarrhea the whole time. Like, I'm not I don't understand these people who just have so much chil-. Nobody seems to be taking zanex or anything flipping and stuff too. It's crazy. Yeah. Like at some studio meeting in they're like. Yeah. Page thirty or so here it says, then your character has executive tire. Yes. That's in Zion diarrhea team even spell that for you. Or we were thinking of taking it out of the movie, let's say, it's a verite. I is how I really like also we can tie that in with like a Pepco biz mall sponsor, she'll totally totally totally a love that get on the phone missed. Oh business. It's me number one customer. Have. I got a scoop for you. We have one other fake Royal Fagan. It's from lake that era. We've got a Boris Gosse ref who was a fake Dutch aristocrat, even though he's Russian, and he basically he would like just date heiresses over and over again because they thought he was an aristocrat, and then they took a trip to end Dora, which is a very tiny country between Spain and France that's managed by both countries. And he convinced Dorrance to vote for him to be their king now because they just thought he was an aristocrat. If you if you get voted in are you still the king? Well, he he got a twenty three to one vote. So there's some kind of democratic element to this tiny country. But also so bizarre, and they voted for him to replace both the joint rule of the president of France, a Spanish Bishop who has a country he went in. And he was just like why don't understand how this works at all. And they're like I trust that man. Yes. Saying what we're just thinking. Thank god. Yeah. I mean that works clearly the the thing about like pretending to be royalty. Is that those bloodlines are so confusing that because I was reading about the Romanoff's last night. That's a place where there's a ton of con artists because people like that family scattered. Nobody really knows who's a descendant of what? And like there was a lot of like cousin marrying and just like people could be descended from anyone one white can be a Roman. Absolutely. It's not like the Habsburgs where it's like, no. They have a whole thing. Right. Like, they have a thing that tells you who they are with Rahm enough. So it's like, no like hair. A dream like if the. Anesthesia Todd if anything. I am. I not wait. I forgot about that element. Why am I not defrauding people know pooping? I am. It's because honestly, the lying would I would just be like he'd understand a very inbred. I have a weak stomach. Two years of aristocratic Russian inbreeding. But yeah, it's like I feel like if you were confident enough about it. And you're like, yeah, I'm a Royal like of some country Blake. I wouldn't question that a lot of the people that we read about were kind of generic looking if that makes sense like I feel like when I'm writing about it. I was like, okay. This is just like a white, dude. Who looks like a white, dude? Like, I guess I'd believe he was kind of anything. It's not like it's never like this person who had this distinctive lake what I like people just didn't have distinctive things like even Anna Delhvi as I was looking at her face. It was kind of disappearing in front of me. Like, she just kinda looked like she never been any of our college remain. Exactly. Oh, no. I'll totally get the internet next week. It's fine. I'm sorry. I'm no, I didn't eat your eggs. I don't know. What happened like fairy? She's very like generic. I think knows the we were talking about how he was dating heiresses, and the ant Hathaway is do you have that on here and Hathaway's or her? Ex-boyfriend say I'll need to put know which article, but one of these guys he basically did a bunch of financial schemes, and then was starting to run out of the money. But his endgame was to date Anne Hathaway, and he just kind of went ahead and did that and so he just kept continuing to do more and more sort of pyramid schemes and false. I think the original scheme was built around helping the Vatican's sell land from there built up a bunch of money than was just running out of money. But in the meantime, the whole thing was today, Dan Hathaway, and he succeeded for chunk of time. You know, I mean, I guess if you're going to try to fall in love with an actress that's better than like shooting. The president. Fair compliment to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess also just like the people he was defrauding were the Vatican who have some I think kind of ill gotten land. So I don't know if they needed all of it. I don't think it was political. Okay. It wasn't the worst. But can you imagine? If like 'cause I think he was arrested like the week after they were plus get married or something crazy like that. She was doing what they call. But she was doing like the pole dance. Like, I think she was doing a bunch of press for a movie at that time. And then all of a sudden, it's like, oh, my fiance's, a conman. Yeah. It's oddly easy for people that just kind of trick their way unto celebrity like this. We got another one here about a Brazilian soccer player named Carlos riposte. This is my favorite one. I think he from nineteen seventy nine to nineteen ninety two played for ten different professional soccer teams. But he didn't play any games for them. Because he was not actually any good at soccer or prepared to be a professional soccer player goal. The story is so fascinating. But I truly don't understand how he pulled it off because he always was like getting injured or sick, or it's like at that point is Neha liability to bring onto your team even your fantasies team. Yeah. I felt baseball very closely. And there's a thing with pitchers in particular, very injury prone. And so there are a lot of guys like that who will get signed even though they're an enormous injury risk because like if it works out it works out. That's the way it is. And then he I mean this was during the there was not HD. So we had like some blurry video to be like well one I do play. It's amazing. Yeah. He had literally blurry VHS of someone else who kind of looked like him doing cool soccer stuff. And then he also was the son of a famous player. But just he would he would have somebody vouch for him to join the team and then pay someone else to injure him a fake injury. And then he would just spend the season hurt. Like, oh, what do you do? And just. Continue to string teams along and get paid by them to do nothing. And then his final team was owned by gangster. So there was actually danger to his life. If he kept the scheme up, and so what he did is he pretended to hear a slur shouted from the crowd, and then got in a fight with the crowd and got suspended, and that knocked him out of it, really. He's like the Rockwell of soccer so Rockwell. It was one of berry Gordy kids. He's the one you that song. I always feel like somebody's watching. Rockwell? Did that song? I always feel like somebody's watching me. And those people don't know that the course is not him. It's actually Michael Chaz. Oh, yeah. I learned that recently because it sounds so much like Michael Jackson. Yeah. I didn't think that they've found that it was him. And that's why he only had like that one. I'm so I'm whole world has been opened up to me this amazing. Also think I thought that was a Michael Jackson song, but nobody ever listed as a top. Michael Jackson song. Always so confused. Just like that definitely sounds like him. And the wrapping is the worst. That's the only part people know is the chorus and they just decided like I will be known for being skilled in this artistic field. And that's it. It's the opposite of imposter syndrome. Like, I feel like I spent so much time homing, I can't actually do the thing that I'm paid to do. And then other people are just like, I'm just not going to do it and say him say deserve to gain titles at syndrome. All that. I wanted. Support for today's show comes from squarespace because hey, you you're great not enough. People are saying that lately to your face like they're saying it around your behind your back or to each other like your great, but you should hear it directly. 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She wanted to be famous writer, and then at one point you realized, hey, what if I take typewriter and just write some fake letters from the playwright Noel coward and then sell them because academics, and museums and stuff want them, and she started making a lot of money pretending to be null coward. And then she just kept going and kept writing fake letters from a bunch of other famous people. But like how did people think that she had them? I think she she would just like do an elaborate story, I found it in this shop for so I don't know what I think it was one of those like antiques roadshow or she would be like, you know, we we demolished a wall in my house and all these no coward letters. We're. What she would do is. She would talk about how they were in her home. And she just kept finding them in her house. And it's like what is your house? Have all these weird old letter. I forgot antiques roadshow is a long running show of I probably true stories where people are just like I found George Washington stuff. That's just like gets broadcast to the country. So we all probably believe this stuff create the the thing about the letters thing is like, that's especially smart because I think everybody wants to be like, oh, yeah. Like I've have read Noel coward. This looks like no coward to me. Nobody's going to be like, I don't I don't know. Chashma we should check. But like so she was selling them to like the Smithsonian or whatever and just getting apparently thousands of dollars over time for them. And then all went on to do Dorothy, Parker letters Humphrey Bogart letters. How would she? That's where she she flew to close the sun acrss like calm down at that point. Everybody should be like hold on a sec. No coward. Dorothy parker. Like all these people just hit some letters in your house. You just found them. And it's all in the same font and lived here. Yeah. What what was her excuse for having the other ones were they address to her where they like letters supposedly address to her nose just like their old correspondence among other people, and she just like turn them up in antique shops, or or that kind of thing if it was in the wall or something, and I don't know exactly how did you pull it off the line? But it was so successful that she was only caught in nineteen Ninety-three by an FBI sting because she was starting to steal real letters from museums and libraries and the fake letters con worked fine, and she even got some no coward letters into like a collection of no cowards letters by the all-time expert on him. It's such a scheme. I really wanna see this. Movie. And then she wrote a hit a memoir about it. And finally got to be like a professional writer of. I just talking about this crazy con she did that was way too successful. I love it. So many of these comes just ultimately wind up leading people to being great authors. Yeah. It's probably a really good book. Gotta do some crimes if I do some crimes, I can get staffed. Wow. That's great. That's a great way to look. But I think the thing is like you have to be such a good writer to be able to pull off a con. But I also think the reverse is true. Like, always think about great mystery writers. I think that's why people like shows about like the mystery Reiter like solves crimes thinking of castle. I guess there's probably other ones, but it's like to me. Plot out a crime or to be able to plot. How to con in like into it? You have to be kind of a good like anthropologist, if it'd be a good writer like you have to be good actor to me. That's the part where think it would all fall apart from me is that I don't think I keep like a straight face. Now. There's no way. Well, the anxiety Tyree is coursing through me. Right. So like your doorbell, and he blushed three times during this podcast over nothing. I'm I'm very very expressive. I feel like there's one kind on here that is basically just a gentle artistic act, it's not actually a con. And it's by j s g bogs and this was an artist he passed away last year. But what he did is. He was amazing at drawing, and what he would do is he would draw pictures of money and the pictures of money were so impressively detailed and accurate that he would NA like art prank stunt way, try to exchange them as legal tender, which is counterfeiting, except he was like telling people, this is my art, and I feel it is worth that. What do you think fellow person? Let's do a thought experiment about the value of money because really this service people at restaurants and stuff, and I feel like that's the wrong person. Like, I think he's a delve or something doing it to a person who's working a service job and trying to bring home do that don't be mean to service. People doesn't have a thought experiment. Element to a person who's who's working for tips. I always hate when people decide that they want to do these things to people who are just trying to get through their day. Yeah. Leave working people alone. Like, don't do your praying. Don't do any of those things just like them be the this one in particular has such a lake. Ooh. Let's just think about is the dollar not also just a small piece of art. Coffee. I get it, dude. And I do think it's cool and I liked his dollars. I thought they the drawings were cool and stuff. But also at that point, you got to be like, no, it's not worth it. Like, there's strangers with candy episode where I think Joffrey tries to pay for his rent with a really shitty drying. Yeah. I was like that's the thing is like art does value. There's a good conversation blow volley can't pay rent. I don't pay the rent my dudes, and you can't end not with a song Roger from rent. I'm sorry. Every time I watch for anti get pissed off benny's the only good guy in rent. He's the only person in letting his friends crash they're for free for a long time and marks like the one like guys like it's hard for me. I'm a straight guy without addiction or aids. Why don't we do? This movie and the instant he is like can you just please be adults for like half a second? They're like why let sold your soul, man. I'm not going to get a job and help my friends play pay for their aides medicine. Komi and give me things. There. They are con artists. There's another there's a con artist here who abused another major city in the world, the city of Paris, his name's count Victoria's Lustick, and he initially just decided he should sail the world selling fake machines that duplicate hundred dollar bills. And that was his first Khan. And he was like this going great. How do I level up? That's a con within con-. Right. It was like I'm going to sell you this way of you doing your con-. They don't know. I'm doing a con. What what did you say nothing? Yeah. All the customers wanted to commit counterfeiting. So they kind served it. Yeah. And he he was mostly a counterfeiter. But he also did a thing where in the nineteen twenties. Perez was thinking about taking down the Eiffel tower and scrapping it. Because not everybody knows the Eiffel tower was originally a temporary structure. It was for a fair. They were like, we'll do this for a man. Yeah. I was going to say what that is in French. But I don't know. Olam Flom bang. The city's thing about taking it down and scrapping it because it's not meant to last. And that's part of why it's just framework like it's not it's sort of unfinished. And so he said what I'll do is I'll go to Paris. I'll get like the most expensive room in a hotel and look very official and pretend to be the person handing out the contract to scrap the Eiffel tower. I will I will bring every scrap dealer into bid for this thing. And then what he did is he took one of the scrap dealers and convince them to bribe him to give them the contract and then just ran off with the bribe. And then the person couldn't go out to the authorities and say I tried to bribe this guy fair and square. That's this guy gets it. Because he's like if you trap you other person report, you smartest, contrary to do. It amazing amazing. How many of these Kan's restaurant hotels being trusting? The hotels being so used to like weird people that they'll be like. Yeah. Just have her biggest room. And also how many of these like if only they had Photoshop back, then met could be like, hey, you can't scan a dollar. You know what I mean? I think even MS paint will be like, yo that's a dollar. A little Bill sounds excuse me. I it's a paper clip. It's just like I see you're trying to defraud someone out of money. I liked it so polite where it's like, we're sure this is for purposes, but you're not actually allowed to scan money. Right. But don't you understand the value of the art is a quill into the value of the dollar Jesus fucking? It's five fifty just take it. I do wanna get to the dominion of Melchizedek. Yes. Yes. Sorry. I really fascinated by micro nations. Recently. This is like my new nobody else take this. I'm dying to rate something about this. You could take it. I don't know. I wanna watch it. I'm obsessed with the idea of people who basically like the law about having countries, you basically need to own a piece of land that I think has to be it can't be like part of another country. Like, it has to be like I own like this like tiny island or I own this like boat, or whatever the thing is like you own something that is in some way like you can claim it as your own piece of land, but is not property of another country and declare yourself the ruler of that country and be a legal like have passports, have you become a legal country. Effectively. I don't think that's what this is even I think this was a totally fake country. The scaffolding country, essentially, he asked a bunch of guys rand it's the the show rent is. It's its own country with a very low GDP. But the thing about the thing about like these countries, so they have this like kind of thing called micro Konin, it's a hotel convention, basically, a U N of countries that are made up of one and two people. I've never been fascinated by anything because also like the audacity like who would be like, I should have a country. I can't believe they have constantly like can. And I bet they're mostly like them, and like people who really want to get rid of some crypto currency. There are definitely people who have applied in like joined countries like and become citizens of these micro nations. Yeah. I think there's sealant the that's the one that I was. That's the one that. I was thinking of words just like a crane or something. It's an old. It's an old platform in the English channel. And they I think it was to put artillery on in case the Germans came over. And the UK is like it's part of our country, and they're like, no, it's not. And that's how it's going. No one has ever thought about what would happen when that thing needs maintenance because it's going to happen. Yeah. It's like one guy's family guys family. I don't even know if they live there, but they own it. But it is like it's almost like a a an aircraft strip, right? Yeah. It's it's just like a concrete that it's not like a land land. But they're describing it as territory that is there. Yeah. Yeah. So at any moment, you know, rest any of those things I it can just any of the things that could bring down a full country's infrastructure, Russ and aggressive. Waves. But yeah. But like the idea that somebody says somebody made a country, basically. Yes. So this. Con artists country. This is the movie hotel, Artem is should have been they called it an ecclesiastical state. It's unclear what religion they were. They said that their territory was a small island that is under water. Most of the year also fourteen hundred square miles of Antarctica and ten percent of the world's oceans, they're like, okay. Well, value just taking everything. This is what happens when you don't tell people know. And we want ten percent of the oceans and this part of Antarctica, right, right and the moon. No. You can't just have the moon, but they then were establish a bunch of fake banks and scammed over four million dollars out of American investors that made it a scam where they got two and a half million out of Australians than another ten million out of Australians they sold fake visas to Filipinos who wanted to find a new job there for thirty five hundred dollars. That's the worst which is by far the worst. And then then they were like investigated by the state of California because I guess some of the banking happened here and the. Official president of the country is a guy named Elvira Gamboa. I take that back not necessarily a guy. Anyway, Elvira Gamboa's said in response to California's investigation, I will do metaphysical battle with you in your dream state. And if you interpret your dreams correctly, you will know that I am the Victor. It's the best thing I've ever had in my. My my favorite sentence of all time. It's a really good. Also, God, damnit Australia. I expected better from you y'all have giant spiders and things that could kill your fans. You you live amongst danger. You can't see the danger in this fake. Somebody's saying dot com. Lady you because I'm kind of picturing like, you know, the scene in a there will be blood where Dame view is just like I will come to wake sleep, and I was little throats and the guys just like what? Like that just like really calmly and in one sentence is the most chilling thing. Because it's like it's not like, they're they know it's chilling. They're just like, I will do metaphysical battle with you. It's like I'm not fucking with this guy have your own please don't be part of my country. I will haunt your dreams. If you interpret your dreams correctly, you will know the Taiwan character. It's just I don't have tape of him saying it, but that had to be right that had to be the tone. Yeah. Let's let's end in space. This is from cracked article five Larry asleep. Ballsy cons pulled off by historical figures by Adam wears and a crew of Apollo fifteen was a mission to the moon that went to the moon. They smuggled stamps, they decided hey there. There was a guy who has only been described in the court filings. As Siegel he said, listen three crew members of Apollo fifteen. If you bring stamps up there, then they will gain a bunch of value because they've been to the moon, and then we'll divide them for ways when you're back, and the astronauts, did it they smuggled stamps. Yeah. Yeah. And then all three of them were banned from space when they when NASA found out going back a second time. Goes back to space twice. Yes. Pretty rare. Yeah. The thing about this scheme in particular that it was illegal to bring anything into space with the intention of selling it. Right. I know why I feel like NASA could just capitalize on that. And they could just NASA could be selling it. And that's it could be funding themselves. Nasa is just a bunch of lake pure hearted. Nerds who were like space is not for Perot up at it is for leading. We'll get here. Your. Damn. The door open. These rocks. I got it from the moon. Guitar. That's very exciting. Oh, it's just like big guitar sounds with their mouths. That's exactly what I did. Anyway, back in my cars. Yeah. I think it wrote it it's just a very kind nerds who were like, you know, old lake spaces for exploration in. It's not for profit, and blah, blah, blah, you know, and then SpaceX happened when the nerds were like fucking, I'm selling space. Yeah. One of the articles. We we looked at with about the reason that there's like the I have got a piece the Brooklyn Bridge to sell you is because people declare that they own things that people don't own into the I mean, truly this is how colonialists works is just the declare you own something that you don't know. And you're like wanted. Like. Going space is going to be for that. And I think that like when we romanticize it we think of foreign away the parts where everyone's parents were running to go kit land because that movie forgets that they were at one point people on that late. That's how it is. Now, where everyone's just like you, can you know, if you can find a place to plant a flag in space UK and one from centuries ago to to the future. I think we'll have cons with us forever. Right. It's feels feels like they're just always be these elaborate lies that were. Absolutely. Yeah. What they're I I didn't research it. But I know this to be true. There are people who are selling like the opportunity to go to a Mars colony. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Mars twenty twenty thing was a scam. Absolutely. It's a scam. That's the that to me is crazy like we haven't gone back to the moon and how long, but you were like I'm going to go to Mars. I mean, I think this is just one of these things like as long as there are people who are willing to believe things there will be people who will want. Yeah. That is the episode for this week. My thanks to Jenny Jaffe and Danielle Radford for being the light Bill and for bringing so much into this episode, if you'll please direct your attention to our food Newt's, you will find a range of things in particular and article from the cut dot com laying out the entire story of Anna Delhvi who we talked about earlier in the show, and who is amazing. You'll also find in the food notes Jenny Daniels. Twitter handles and latest internet comedy ventures that you can see also tons of craft material update on the name of that guy who pulled massive white collar fraud just to date Anne Hathaway, his name is Rafaello fully airy miss Hathaway dumped him a mere ten days before he was sent to jail for four and a half years. So now, you know, here's more to know. Our theme music is Chicago falcon by the Budo spanned this episode was engineered by Devon Bryant. And edited by Chris Sousa, if you love this episode. That's great. If you hate it. Let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media. A useful tool for basically every present day con artists just about every one of them turns out, anyway, I'm keeping it non-fraudulent on my Twitter account at Alex my Instagram is at Alex Schmitz degrom. I'm on the wider internet at my website, Alex, Schmidt dot com. And I'm here to say we will be back next week with more crack podcast. So how about that talk to you? Talk to you. Support for today's show comes from fallout. Seventy six Bethesda game studios, the award-winning creators of skyro- and fallout. Four. Welcome yet, fallout seventy six the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person worked together or not to survive fallout. Seventy six is now available. How about that by Xbox One? Get fallout seventy six. This has been your will production executive produced by Scott Akron. Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson for more information content. Visit ear wolf dot com. Hey there. This is Brian new podcast on air wolf. 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The 9 Strangest Newest Conspiracy Theories Thriving Online

The Cracked Podcast

1:06:53 hr | 1 year ago

The 9 Strangest Newest Conspiracy Theories Thriving Online

"Hey there, folks. Welcome to another episode of the crack podcast, the podcast, all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt. And I'm the head of broadcasting here at cracks. I'm also known as many the clam also known as Schmidt, e that champ, and I am also also going to let you know, something about the platform called YouTube. Yes. Youtube the most famous way to watch video on the internet of all time it turns out, they weren't really handling conspiracy theories on it. As of January of twenty nine teen this year. Google started to change its algorithm. So it would not recommend conspiracy videos, because thing kept happening where for instance, someone watches a video like Hillary Clinton gives speech and then YouTube algorithm, says, they'd probably like to see the next video. Hillary Clinton is a lizard. That's kind of a made up example, but you know what I mean just the search terms of it would send people from watching regular news videos to conspiracy videos within a few jumps to the next video. And if you know how a lot of people watch YouTube where they just kind of put it on that spooky, it can lead on some really weird corridors and that leads us into today's topic, our topic today is the world's strangest newest conspiracy theories one more time. That is the world's. Strangest newest conspiracy theories, we're getting into ways that sure there have always been conspiracy theories, but there are new ones in our time that are based on extremely specific recent things and are also based on specific ways information travels around now that it just didn't in the past, obviously, this is a show with false information in it, because we are talking about the false information of conspiracy theories, and I think it's all worth being familiar with just see, you know how to watch out for the next fake thing coming your way. And for this topic for this set of fake things that will break apart. I'm joined by an incredible guest returning to the show. We are joined by the one and only Dana Gould, I hope, you know, has podcast Dana Gould. Our I hope you know him from past episodes of this show where we talked about the Emmys and ghosts and the Simpsons and so many other things. And he is, of course, a past writer for the Simpsons. He had a recent show stand against evil on I f c that was amazing. And he's done so many other things with just TV you love. His also phenomenal stand up comedian, that you can see on the road soon. If you were in Portland, Sacramento, San Francisco, or Englewood, Colorado. Also Hoya in California, we will link all of his dates coming up in June and July for you, so you can go see him because he's the best also many of those shows are from a tour. He's doing called the show with two heads, where it is Dana Gould, and Bob cat goldthwait, both doing stand up. Yeah. You get both of them in one show. Isn't that neat? It is correct. I am. So glad I get to talk to Dana about this because he knows so much about conspiracy theories his act as a stand up often draws on JFK theories alien theories various. L A local murder theories. They're a lot of those in the past. It's just sort of a mode of thinking that he breaks down a lot in comedy. And now we get to do it on the podcast and I'm very excited, so please set back or sit with a ten foil hat on in an attempt to prevent the government from beaming things into your brain even though MIT says it actually makes it easier for things to be beamed into your brain. I cannot wait to get into the science of that one. Either way, here's this very fun. Episode of the crack podcast with Dana Gould. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you, then. Dana, thank you for diving into just the newest strangest things with this very exciting. It's my pleasure. My area of expertise as long as you're not talking about sports. I think I'm fine. I don't think we have any sports. So that's good. I've seen tinier stand up and it's amazing. And especially if so many things about like JFK or, or people's, like reaction to the idea that there's something going on out there. It's hard to grow up and just accept the fact that terrible things happen. You know, that was one of the best books about the JFK assassination has called case closed at believe is by Martin pose NAR. Could be wrong. Okay. We'll lincoln. Yeah. But it's a it's just like, yeah, this happened. This is he did it and it's terrible. And it's just that you don't want to accept that one guy can cause all that k- home. I wonder if that's what happens. Right. That's what happens. It's easier to rationalize. Well, clearly, bad things are intentional and have a massive network of support otherwise life becomes too scary. And on 'table unreliable it almost maybe gives people some kind of control over stuff, sit out the allusion of control. Yeah. The control and it's hard to accept it just terrible things happen. And that's it. I also believe that there's this two sides to it. There's one the people that really go deep dive conspiracy lunatics are called lunatics for a reason. They're not rational and a lot of looking at these things flatter. There's is a great example. Yeah. People who sincerely believe it aren't thinking, rationally and then you impose your rational viewpoint on them will clearly, everything would have to be faked. Yeah, everything's rationalize your point of view. But you're posing your rational thought onto somebody who's not thinking rationally and then the other aspect of it is a lot of it's just fun. Bigfoot UFO stuff. That's just fun. It's a slippery slope before you start to believe it. I ll lots of thing guardian angels, mom believes as an invisible woman in the night, gown that floats above her head all day long is there to help her. Find your car keys, right? It's a form of I guess, mental illness. Well it it's all those things. All why have loved the way it broke all that down. It's a lot of trying to the allusion of control and, and trying to just think about things and maybe a more fun way than the way we have to think about things we have we take it head on, and there were always crazy people. And I think the percentage of crazy people the same people are was always pretty much consistent, but now because of the internet, they're all talking to each other and connected. You know, the Cunanan is a great example of, like yeah. All all the people in tin foil. Hats suddenly met. Yeah. And have each other's phone number, and then it becomes a movement. And then it's dangerous the main belief of Cunanan, which is that there is a mysterious man in the government with security clearance level, Q level cues, which. Yeah. It's like a quiz. Been quake where two cereals in the sixties. Maybe they're connected. Right. Curated? Yeah, it's all crisp wasn't alien figure it out for yourselves people can tell it out. But the theory was that Robert Mueller or Muller and Donald Trump or actually working in concert with each other. The entire mother investigation was a sting on a pedophile ring. Yes. Run. Hillary Clinton, of course. And then when the mullahs report was released and that was an in there that it would disprove that. It would disprove theory. But no. It only reinforces their theory. Of course, it's not there. They can't release that information. It's it's impervious to logic. You know it's a rail. They're just. Sylla's real. Have you ever seen him? Exactly. What we have so many of these theories, and I'm glad you bring up Cunanan because that, that is such a it's maybe the newest biggest one of our times, I feel like the average person may not know that there's a massive community on the internet of people who are telling each other these things about Q and it's not, not cue from Star Trek the next generation. It's a guy who has Q level clearance, and that clearance is actually a real thing, and the department of energy. Nassar's level of killer. It's either it's in the department of energy. Not like you know. It's, it's not like you know area, fifty one it's like there's one Home Depot or they have a flying saucer. Apartment of energy. It's not an excellent. Right. Many people have it and, and the theory is that one of them is using the newspaper of record for Chan to release release information to, to the rest of us about what the deep state is doing. And then there's a sub berry, where specifically this KUA non-person is JFK junior who faked his own, so man lane crash thing. Right. And is apparently trying to help the Republicans or something I don't really so rand. But the more weird you can get it. Yeah. The easier it is to believe. And so we've built this legend around this, mysterious person and will will link some things that describe it, we won't link it to the source because we're not going to help you get into. The weird thing about the Cuban on thing is an and it's keel out of conspiracies is they use common things, like, the, the most dangerous aspect of the Cunanan was, was pizza gate where they convinced certain group of people who are maybe don't have their feet anchored, very deeply into reality that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of the basement of a pizza shop. Right. Why where else should do it the number one place, right at the shelves of cheese and olive oil Indo? And if you are running something as dangerous as a child, sex, ring you wanted in a public facility where a lot of people are going in and out, you know, you don't want it mansion. You know, you want it out in the out in the open. But a guy showed up with a gun, you know. And that's when you get into dangerous a guy showed up with a gun to free, the children from the basement building didn't have a basement. Which brings at did. Right. Exactly. And they act to be to make it super clear for people in real life, a person who believed that theory showed up at the pizza place with a gun and didn't shoot anyone but could have could have a guy really did show up with a gun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And somehow Tom Hanks Steven Spielberg have been lumped into this, and the code is because in a lot of movies, Tom Hanks eats pizza. But if you look at any Instagram post of Tom Hanks, all the comments are queuing on people threatening him with outing him from his participation in child sex ring. Oh boy. That's a waste of time. No. It's true of all the people. But again, because Tom Hanks is of famously decent person, right? Who disagrees with them politically, so that can't exist. Yeah. So he has to be something to take him out. You know, I, I do understand the level of, of powerlessness, you know, a lot of people thought once Donald Trump was elected all the troubles would be over. And then they weren't. And so this was born out of that. Well, of course, they're not. He's working on a thing in the deep state is stop. Because a started the defense was as powerful as you say, it is he wouldn't have got elected. Would he you would think? Yeah. He certainly wouldn't have like a firewall in congress. I two years or most state, governments controlled by the same party or no. This phenomenon started before he was elected. And so there were a lot of predictions and prophecies built into once he's elected all the cabal of the deep state will go down. And then it led to a guy showing up at a regular pizza place with a gun also at this tied into Email hacks, because now a lot of conspiracy theories are around, like people's emails. And so there was a guy named John Podesta who was part of the Hillary Clinton campaign. Right. And then in two thousand sixteen south is emails, were released and then by leaks. And that is one of the major elements of the of the real Muller investigation. Right. Right. He was hacked in a fishing expedition by a Russian hacking operation. Yeah. Then given to Julian Assange, WikiLeaks, Julian Assange communicated with Roger stone about timing. The release of these stolen emails to help, the Trump campaign and specifically they came in very handy. The. The day of the access Hollywood tape. Right. They six hours later. They dumped the first load of damaging emails to dilute the news feet. What a coin crank cool. No sign of coincidence. These things happen. And that is the origin of and it really came down to was Roger stone, communicating directly with the campaign, and that was, you know, that would be where the laws. So, you know, that is a real thing that happened, you know, but yeah, but this is all a puppetry of big pancakes, that's trying to get I hops into Russia or whatever, you know, whatever. You know what? You can't go up against big pancakes and international right in the name. That's right. It was right there. Yeah. Wake up people. We're inside the stack. Yeah. I feel like with a lot of these theories to, like, especially thanks to the internet and technology and things. There are a lot of crazy real things to know about like that somehow, there would be Russian cooperation with the Trump campaign, and that I feel like that helps all these conspiracy theories a lot because there are some things in reality that sound crazy. And so they develop these theories, it's approximately the same crazy scale just missing all the facts. Yeah, that's, that's, that's exactly right. That's yeah, there's always, you know, there is a lot of stuff that's out there. But it's like my friend says, you know they can't keep the ingredients to the secret sauce secret. You know and, and I go back to nine eleven is the home of a lot of crazy conspiracy theories, you know, the jersey, you know, it was all the government plan. But a lot of the people that promulgate this, it has to come down to the George Bush is a super genius. Oh, right. Could be behind this are smart smartest president. Right. But also in other versions of the stories is incredibly stupid, you know. You know, it's like the same people that think he's an idiot. Also think he's blow feld. It's like you can't have it both ways. Same with Trump. I think, oh, he's playing four chests, and he's doing all these genius things that we don't know about right? And he also. People that are rational thing that he's playing forty chests, just because he's so predictable. Yeah. And you want to you, but I was listening to a White House reporter saying, I've been following the White House since the first day of his presidency and I am convinced he's playing no dimensional chess. He just throws this stuff out there on a daily basis and watches people react. I mean he's basically barefoot Paul McCartney on the cover of Abbey Road. Why has he barefoot clearly he's no? You just was barefoot. And then you put put whatever you want onto it. But, you know that's the beautiful thing about about conspiracies is that you can take any random fact to support your case and any contradictory. Fact further goes to support your case because we'll Airlie they wanna make it look like it's not true that proves that it is. And that might lead us into one of the weirdest roots of pizza gate, because like like thinking about that, that Paul McCartney theory around Abbey Road, somehow the art of Abbey Road, man. He was dead. All we had for that was the art. There wasn't a lot of other information, go off right today. We have reams of information all the time. They're like hundreds of pages of these emails to pick through. And so then people decide. Basically every word of the pedestrian emails was code. Yeah. And it it's somewhat based on there is like a real phenomenon where certain terrible child abusing people on the internet use codes. But right, the feary people decided that every possible word is code like they decided the word pizza is code for a girl. The word cheese is code for a little girl ice. Cream is code for a male prostitute sauce is code for an orgy walnut is code for a person of color. We have a whole list note. Yeah, it's, it's just. Food over the internet right easily be accused of being a child abuser. Yeah. So they. Right. Well for them. And the whole point of being a child abuser is so pernicious because what does it put you in the position of saying, I'm not a child abuser will clearly who says that, right? You know, those, you'll think about in the fifties or sixties Lyndon Johnson was running for Senate or something. And he accused his opponent of cheating on his wife and seventeen campaign said he didn't he doesn't she doesn't his wife judge. He goes, I know I just wanna to hear him deny it. Oh man. I other great crazy presidents. He's really underrated nut. Yeah. Taking his penis out in, in front of his secret service, guys and everything. But a guy. Yeah. A nut. Yeah. And and you know, we are living through this as well. The one thing that president does is he inflicts his psycho-drama onto the nation. It's no coincidence, that from nineteen sixty four to nineteen seventy four the country was in great turmoil because we had our most stable residents, right? Yeah. Men. Johnson and Nixon. Bananas and now to also bananas, another theory mentioned earlier, which was the flatter thing. And it turns out, I don't know if there's one single flatter organisation. No, there's several. My oldest daughter wanted to go to the flatter convention in Denver in April of this year. Oh, and I said, why if we get on a plane to go to Denver, we're gotta know that they're wrong? The best thing she said to see how crazy they are. And get some flatter merch. Yeah. That's good. Actually. I couldn't argue with her logic if they if they did one in town, I'd look into it. Yeah. The problem flatter is that you get unfortunately, with the flat earth, there's, you get a lot of antibac- Sers and survivalist gun nuts. And, you know, a lot of it is just that everything is ally. And the flatter thing is really that borders into religious zealotry, because this is a thing that has been proven wrong, and you have pretty discount, a massive horsh in of reality. Yeah. Believe this. So you're divorced from a large section of reality think of the level of genuine conspiracy that would go into hiding the fact that the earth was flat and why they would do that. A lot of Asian was is their motivation. And they would argue that the fact that you can't tell their motivation has proved that they're motivated, you know again. It's, it's, it's, it's a it's a drain that you get swirled into with all of these, it almost feels like I don't know if you've taken like improv classes, but there's that basic thing of. Yes. And whatever happens, I'm going to affirm an can had information, and they're just like, I'm going to yes, and any information given to still feted into what I did you ever coast to coast AM with art bell. Now, I don't know unfortunately bell passed away, not too recently. The show is still on its on AM radio at night. Coast to coast AM, and it was basically the X files call in radio show. It was any conspiracy mum, very, very tuned to supernatural you know, they would have the have you ever thought you see somebody and you look. They're not there. Yes. You're. Yeah. Well, they are they're, the, they're the shadow people. Okay. Yeah. And the shadow, people engine interventional mental beings that exist, you know. Yeah. I don't believe this. But this was a big thing on our belt and people would call in and he would always, yes. And then he would have time travelers, I would time travel show. Oh, and people would call it high art. I'm a time traveler. I work at a twenty four hour pharmacy in Baton Rouge. Go ahead. It was all, and it was great. I mean it was it was the best thing to listen to driving late at night. Crazy. Spooky radio show. It was really fantastic. Coast to coast AM with art bell. And he really dealt with Bigfoot UFO's all all that stuff, and he was, how skeptical, not at all not a sin Dila of skepticism knows beauty of it. It was all real. You could say that when you see a shadow when you think you see a person, what that means is nine times out of ten. You're tired, right? And your brain is trying to assemble an image yet, I believe that's how it works. It's like a hallucination in the desert, you know, your brain is taking information, and working overtime. Trying to assemble it into into vision. Yeah, you could argue that that's what it conspiracy theorists. Does he takes disparate? Pieces of information and is straining at the bit to formulate it into something factual that validates his belief. Labor. Yeah. A lot of work, it's a lot of work. But again, it is the nature of the beast. If you, you know, if you believe the moon landing was fake that Stanley Kubrick's. The rhineland. He had nothing else to do. Then the more vehemently denies it. The more approves your case. Right. You know that's the beauty of it. You know, it's like you can't be wrong. And then when they are disproven they just move on. Yes. Forgotten, not in the nineties, everybody was getting -ducted. I don't know if anybody's been -ducted recently. We've moved onto something else, people were getting buggered by aliens all over the nineties, monotony more. You know, the Elvis is alive is a great example of a conspiracy. Yeah. It just it's very simple. People didn't wanna believe you is dead. Yeah, it stinks you know about that. Yeah. So he's not dead. He's alive. Oh, good. You worked at a truck stop or something, you know, it's just like people don't wanna believe Lee. Harvey Oswald can just up and kill the president, now it had to be XYZ PD q. I can understand why you would think that it's more fun. Yeah. And in terms of the people doing some of the most work and having the most fun as we know the earth is around object. It also has like a North Pole and south pole. Right. So there's a lot of ice in both the spots and now. Yeah. For for the next couple of weeks. Ten years. Yeah. So v at flat earth org on Twitter there, there, they have a blue checkmark. They're one of the main groups for the flatter. They have tweeted that they believe in climate change. A real thing they said, quote, it would be nothing short of irresponsible to question something with so much overwhelming evidence behind it as something that threatens us so directly as a species, and quote, they are more on top of it than half our political parties good for this. And so the thing is, and this picked out in crack article five conspiracy theories that have insanely dumb obvious flaws by Adam wears, if they believe in climate change, but also a flat earth than we are extra screwed. Yeah. Because their theory is based on Antarctica, actually, being the ice wall around the, the imagine what the earth really is, is a hockey rink with the poor being made the boards are made of ice and everything else. Dirt and ocean. Apparently, it's like holding in the oceans for. Just the Prentice. The flat earth is I can't see how you would be on the under part of fear. You just fall off some just fall off somehow. Yeah. Which I will admit is hard to grasp logically, but you know, I don't know how records work and they don't even make him anymore. I couldn't explain to you how an LP makes the same song, come out of two different LP's, but it does. Rape. Just because I can't be something doesn't. It's just it's so narcissistic. How could this be? I can't figure it out. Right. My phone is full of gizmos. And that's how it works. That's all I need to know. Yeah, just doesn't mean the earth is a hockey rink. How do people know what part of your tooth drill to get rid of the toothache, like, I don't know. I can't figure it out, but they do it. So I understand the root belief but I also think especially with flat earth, which is so talk about swing and big, yeah, there's got to be some level of fundamental narcissism involved, where it's just like the root believe of all humanity you dismiss. Yeah. That's true. It it is like such a centuries. And centuries of things we've figured out like they were they were ancient Greeks, who figured out that the earth was probably round just because of like sun angles and things. And it does it's like narcissism the people who believe in the end times is going to happen while they're here. Oh, yeah. That's the earth has been around for billions of years, but it's going to end while I'm here. You know, 'cause I'm the main character. Yeah, exactly. Because I'm the main character perfect. Yeah. Exactly. George Washington and Jesus and all them where side character. The the number. What dead Kremlin? So we haven't contractor right? Yeah. He's on a flatter. Where again if climate change is real the oceans are going to start leaking out into space. Yeah, pretty soon. Like, we'll, we'll have other problems when climate change happens because the earth is round, but, like they think where it's just gonna drain out like a broken tub, or some fled earth is believed. There's an extra earth like there's a spare earth on the other side of the ice. That's guarded by mermaids and something, and let's get all of our other stuff. That's, that's very like Jules Verne kind of into that. There's a professional football or basketball player. That's a flatter that believes in that will willing to get, I think it's Kyrie Irving and the Celtics. Yeah. He he'll just say that stuff. And people are like. And now that's not a thing. He's like I don't care. I'm going go play basketball. Yeah. Exactly. The fact that you deny who's them, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of it. Support for today's show comes from our friends at Toro. That is spelled T you are. You can find it as an app or the website, tarot dot com. They are appeared appear car-sharing marketplace. So those four letters, T, U, R O will get you on the road. They let you borrow the car of another person pay them for the privilege than they get money. You get the exact vehicle you need in whatever city or situation, you need it for and everybody wins. You might know more about cars than me. I'm not an expert on the various kinds of cars, but apparently terro has Tesla's Porsches Mercedes Benz BMW Ferrari Subaru Toyota and more. I almost had to take breath twice just to do the entire list of, of the tip of the iceberg of their car types. It's very exciting. You're also backed up by insurance options available on every trip, and you can skip the rental counter by renting with Toro, so download the Turow app that is T. You are. Oh, I mean, apps or Google play or visit Toronto dot com. Get twenty five dollars off your first trip when. Sign up and use promo code crack. Twenty five at checkout terms apply. Support for today's show comes from American hysteria. American hysteria is a podcast that explores moral, panics stranger danger, and satanic, ritual, abuse, urban legends like poison Halloween candy and phantom clowns and conspiracy theories, like the gay agenda and the aluminum Nadi. Join host Chelsea Weber Smith, a, former fantastical thinker, and growing skeptic as she gives us. Sometimes heartfelt sometimes hilarious. Sometimes horrifying look at how American freak outs shape, our history, psychology, politics and culture and make us all into believers one way or another. What a perfect fit with the stuff we like on here, you can get into also like forgotten oddities of distant American history. I don't know if kids remember Tinky Winky outing, if you remember what the Teletubbies were that's clear in your head. Also, there was that time, Elvis worked with Nixon and the war on drugs. There's just a lot of fun stuff going on here with the nineteen. Twenty twenty first centuries, and everywhere in between from skylark media, you can now, binge all of season one and season. Two begins June third subscribed to American hysteria wherever you get your podcasts. We have so many others here. This is a recent theory about Ruth, Bader, Ginsburg, the supreme court Justice. The theory is that she died in January of twenty nineteen she did not. She still alive, but it was based on her recovery from surgery for lung cancer. She was just out of public sight for a few weeks, she was recovering. And then people decided. Nope, she died and they're just covering it up because the deep state somehow is doing that, even though they don't run the government. Yeah. They don't run the government, it would be who've them to have her replaced. Yes. It's like the deep state can cover up Ruth baiter, Ginsberg's, death and replace her with an exact carbon copy of herself. Yeah. Who is as smart as here, but they couldn't stop Brett capital. They couldn't. They couldn't stop guy. Yeah. They're really on and off that you've saved berry visited their ability, eight. The deep state used to be called. It used to be the CIA sixties. It was always, you know, the CIA's doing it, and it's a mistake, and then realize is sort of incompetent, then it became the deep state. Right. Right. Just just a morph enough to legitimize any success or failure yet, especially it's a more robust conspiracy theory because the CIA has a building. And, and we know are in it and stuff. Yeah. So you can prove they're not doing anything, but the deep state is just like some. Yes. Yeah. So we'll take the commies. They're gonna get you, right. Connie's coming. But at least have some countries and flags and stuff. Right. You know, deep state. I don't know. Yeah, no, you're right. It's just the it's the boogeyman used to be the, you know, used to be in the seven in the sixteen hundreds, it was the devil lived in the woods. Oh, yeah. And with these deep state operations with Ruth beta Ginsburg. She sees agent kittens, she had surgery in real life in December twenty eight teen and then in real life, she made an appearance at a concert February fourth of this year, and she was personally seen by multiple reporters for the supreme court press corps. But the conspiracy theory people said that was fake news, in particular because no one took a picture of her at the concert, they just said, she was there. I say, no one really takes pictures of people at concerts to like document that they're alive. But people said, I it's just more evidence. We got her, right? Right. Right. That's pretty much all of the things they think about it like she's just still alive. And that's the way it is you just take a random thing that proves your point. How do you know that Lee? Harvey Oswald kill JFK. Well, there's a guy with an umbrella on the sidewalk. That's, that's one of the eggs. Yeah. Man. And the guy with the umbrella was there and what it was or was he was calling him in appeaser, because that was a famous symbol of appeasement Neville Chamberlain came back from the summit with Hitler waving his umbrella saying, they'll be peace in our time. JFK's father Joseph Kennedy senior who is the ambassador to the course of Saint James was also a very famous appeaser wanted to appease Hitler and didn't want America to be involved in World War, Two only because it was bad for business. Yeah. Right. True thing and so that, yes, somebody was accusing JFK of being an appeaser like his father. He was just up holding because it was a sunny day. So wasn't for rain, but he was like this is a symbol we all get right? You're award was like twenty years ago. I remember I was all there, but also it's like if this was a massive conspiracy. Why would you put a guy with an umbrella on the you know the? You know, the would make it secret. Sure. Yeah. But none of these things stand up ten logic. What you're talking about. It's just a great example. No one took a picture with gator. Well that proves it. Right now. I bet we could get footage ever at that concert. Yeah. It's there's probably something Snapchat or something. They were security camera footage of her walking into the building or something that might be a thing. Yeah. Well, the fact that you can see your now at the supreme court. Yes, she does stuff and shows up at work, because also this one is particularly amazing case of the closest thing we have to like an actual study of how willing people are to release. They're crazy belief once there's proof that it was crazy, because there's a site called Scotus blog, which is an amazing sight for just knowing about what's going on in court. But they said they did a like a bunch of labor on Twitter. And they were they indexed eighty two Twitter accounts with at least ten thousand followers who all promoted that the that Ruth Bader, Ginsburg died secretly. And it was being covered up. And so they looked at these eighty two accounts only ten of them did follow up tweeting of some kind, any kind to say, oh, she's a alive. Like, acknowledging at least that she's put it out there. And then three of those accounts within those couple of months got banned from Twitter for doing something terrible. So they're gone. So then they went to the other sixteen. Nine accounts and either direct message them or at mentioned them to say, hey, obviously repeater, Ginsburg is alive. Do you wanna like say anything about it or retract that are you planning to do anything and basically all of them refused? Forty nine of the sixty nine never applied, and then most of the twenty that did reply demanded further evidence that Ruth Bader, Ginsburg is alive. For example, Stephen Miller, not the White House guy. Different guy. He's at red Steve's. He has over one hundred seventy thousand followers, and he told Scotus blog, quote, going to need to see photographic or video proof of her from the bench before. I do something like that. Oh, right. Skoda's doesn't allow cameras. How convenient and quote, and then he like screen captain and tweeted it out to his followers to be like I've owned yet another crazy lib by not acknowledging that that she's alive. Because of course, it's a whole conspiracy that they don't take pictures of court proceedings. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good. I didn't even I wasn't even aware of the dead and they get nothing from that, by the way. Yeah. What is the whole? Yeah, what do you get right conspiracy of her not being dead that wouldn't have been that they could do that? But they couldn't stop break Cavanaugh. They couldn't convince Anthony Kennedy not to retire. Right. But they grew a clone of somebody in a lab waiting for them to, you know, it's just, it's the conspiracy of o- of Obama, not being born in this country that, that upon his birth his father knew. He was going to be the president. You know, it's just like it, it doesn't bear up to two lines of question, it, just right. The deep state has just manipulating hundreds of thousands of potential president birth certificates. Yeah. At the moment of birth at the moment of birth. Spiracy had to have been entered into at his birth. Yeah. Yep. At especially to say in, when was he pouring like early sixties, sixty one early this not white child will be a president. That's a bold prediction. Sixties. Yeah. This crazy name in a way. Yeah. It's madness. It's crazy. Yeah. Sometimes they it works to the government's vantage area fifty one is a great example of every fun. Thanks. Yeah. We'll everybody thought that area fifty one was where your had UFO's where what was really going on in their fifty one was, it's where we were working on stealth technology to create aircraft that were impervious to radar. That's, that's what we're done. Now we have that, right? Yeah. The more people thought it was UFO's the less people thought it was still technology. So they had a vested interest in this going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Aliens, yes, alias. Because take so many people out of the running to find out. Yeah, that people aren't as concerned as to what's really going on. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. The government lucked out fun. One of the astronauts inadvertently leaked like what was going on there? Just like they released like footage of it or something. Yeah. There was like some of the. Stealth experiments. And there was another one where they had a whatever the aircraft was. They had like a one one model of it on a pole in the middle of the desert, and they would, you know, then they would fly these satellites over to see if they could detect it. Yeah. And then whenever Sputnik would go over. They would have to take it down. So sputnik. Wouldn't see it and report it to Russia. Like they were phone on. But what it did pick up was that the ground below it was cooler where the fake aircraft was shade was, was, was causing shade on the ground and the desert, that's wild. So they did pick up the heat signature of it. And basically figured out what it shape was that, all that leads to another thing with a lot of these conspiracy theories, especially new ones. I feel like the truth of things that are happening is also cool, like it's really astounding much more, so that, that people. Are like, oh, it's the earth has got to be flat like no climate science is fascinating. Why don't you get into that? That's real stuff incredible. A lot of it's scary. Like what an incredible scientific thing to get into stealth experiments like that. That's basically a science fiction thing, or like wonder woman's invisible play. That's really cool. Yeah. No, it's nothing Elvis isn't alive. Is that he died because he took so many opioids he had a right? Any many, many, many, many pounds of impacted PC's his body because so much internal strain. Yeah. Kill them. Yeah. It's very early died being full of shit. Maybe I feel like area. Fifty one leads us into another amazing facility in the world, which is surname, it's the large Hadron collider is that the European organization for nuclear research. And then the, the French words for that make the acronym, Sern. It's amazing sandwiches. Also, unfortunately, part of a name of a ancient Greek. Yeah. So it's yeah. It's a theory from six conspiracy theories that are unintentionally hilarious. Because the theory is that Sern is being used to open the gates to like a monster dimension, or ancient God dimension. And you know it's fun to think of a head rang. Collider is being some kind of Stargate or something right? But also, those are like, just really cool, if you want to know how they work, but the theory is, they do is an interesting enough apparently. Right. The actual neatest science of all time is not cool to. Yeah. But the theory is that they're using it to open another dimension. And usher in the reign of sir new knows who is a Celtic antler headed God of for Tila and forests. Right. And sir nuno's has Sern at the front of it. So clearly it's not just that the French language works away. It's that it's some kind of thing to bring him an antler. God. Right. But also, so this, we're gonna open of a portal, and this guy's got a make more forests. And we'll be fertile that snot a bad idea. Hulu. Like some dude runs around the forest and has sex. Ed seems like a pretty good deal to me. I hadn't even thought of that. Yeah. He's up pretty positive guy. He seems like a nice dude. So go have a little and then take a walk in the woods. It sounds pretty good. Right. It's like I'm gonna draw bunch of pentagram on my floor to summon, Johnny Appleseed now that would be fun. You do that. I'm going to summon the powers of the dark Lord and get Creedence Clearwater revival act together. They were good. I enjoyed them looking out my back door all the hits. I am going to summon the powers of grace school, and reunite them, Lovin, spoonful. All right. Try it. Hell, storm of smooth melodies. Consume the city's it'd be a hell scape of easily digestible. Pop. And then there's also the in cells, which is, you know, there was a recent soon NAMI of criticism. About the young woman that helped create the photograph of the black hole that came out in April. Yeah. The whole conspiracy on behalf of MIT dating back decades. Right. Who? Make this woman. Look good. If people are remember there was a cool picture of a black hole. April first picture of a black hole, and it was credited, mainly to a female scientist, Katie Bowman at MIT. How could that be? The whole theory is how could a woman make that picture. That's the entire theory. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just but it was just like, well, they're just doing this to make her look good, because of politically correct culture, and it's like and these guys are there in it's called in cells, which means. Yeah. Involuntarily celibate. Yeah. Which used to be called being a creep who can't get laid as your cre-. You know, and really more economical term now. Trims down, there's well, it goes to the first victimhood they're being victimized. Yeah. That's what they think. Yeah, yeah. And it's a self defeating pro it's, it's, it's the definition of self defeating. It's. It's. The more you know, I can't I can't get laid. So I'm going to belittle women. And guess what? The more you belittle women. Hey, how about that? Yeah. You always have that guy that is OMON chick managed can't still the crazy. Well, what you really need to learn to do is you really need to learn how to listen. I don't get it. They just don't like me, will you need to learn to listen. Maybe I should move of town, you really need to learn to listen. There's no way I don't know what it is. I work out. But that's gonna matter you need to learn to listen maybe I should live in another country. You're not listening, this insulting that term. I think it's very searchable, and it's help them build like a community online. Like there's places on Reddit or for Chan or even YouTube, where they'll gather and one of the leading in cells, because that's the thing is name is dare you Val is. Yeah. And he claims that the black hole. Picture came from twenty seventeen and attributing it to Katie Bowman is quote, another Globo homo scwhab to emasculate men, right. Come on, man. You wanna get laid be interested in other people. Yeah. And don't say this stuff. I just quote my God, ask somebody about themselves and be interested in their answer. Yeah. The next thing you know, you might find yourself talking to somebody who knows what will happen and credible. What am I favored things in the world is the law of unintended consequences, you know, the internet was supposed to bind us all together opened up this communication? But yeah, it's divided us because we've all moved into our personal echo chambers. If you're not an enlightened person with a level of sophistication about your thought you go to a sewer. You know, you know, it's like I can eat whatever I want. Yeah. You can eat a decent meal or gallon of ice cream. Well, especially if it's just ideas, it's not even a food with calories, or something, like we don't think about the calories impact of the ideas, we throw around. Right. And, and within cells, especially it's like what is the it's not, what am I doing? It's what's the what is the world doing to me. Right. The globe. The robo homo Siam. Older, your a dish. If you meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole, if you made assholes all day, you're the asshole. Yeah. We've got the California wildfires product of the climate changing all these things, the story of it is that the climate has changed, and so places are drier than they usually were a fire starts. Yeah. And then a lot of things burn down, and it's very bad. And then on the internet people have decided there are a huge range of conspiracy theories about favorite is the Ray gun from space. Right. Out of diamonds are forever. That's like that's like half about movies is a laser in space. Yes. The best diamonds are forever. And the man with the golden gun both outta a laser in space. I think and Munari moon raker golden eye is. Yes, it rules. It's because. Yeah, these the Sacramento bee a right by the fires. They went around and collected theories that at least two conspiracy sites spread around. And one is that if you look at the burn patterns in some aerial photos from the fires of theory is they can only be explained by targeted lasers which must have been operated by either terrorist groups or the US government, or aliens or for thing that has to what happens. And I don't think that's the case think everything just burned down real fast because this has been a ten year drought, and the forest was made of kindling. And it was weird that it wasn't on fire under the circumstance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, and it feels like it's part of there's just so much of a quantity of information in the world, yet, people who wanted a theory around this head something to latch onto they had, like Google earth, or some picture from space. Sure. They could be like, oh, the this'll be evidence and I just came from hukou. This terrible thing happened. That's. The theory claims that the lasers were shot from either planes or spaceships or unmanned drones or for thing and, and it's for reasons that were not into entirely clear. Apparently the sites could not really agree on why anyone would burn down a bunch of California. And, and like a bunch of town. I've for people who don't know, in our aren't in the state lay. It was a real disaster disaster. And then these fires. They also claimed that it was there's whole separate theory. It was planned by clandestine groups such as the luminosity, or the new world order to classics there go, then there's also a theory, this extrapolating from reports that the twenty seventeen wildfires the year before destroyed expansive marijuana farms, some alternative news websites claims with little evidence that drug cartels from Mexico or South America may have played a role in sparking the blaze and that's one where like, like these fires, especially it's amazing building a conspiracy theory around. The most elaborate technologies in the world to explain fire a natural process like the first thing we discovered amazing. You can see the origin of during the Muller investigation when we didn't know what was going on. We didn't know what was going to happen. A lot of people that are not a fan of our current government were really counting on him coming through with the goods. Yeah. Big time, it was going to turn life into an errand Sorkin, wet dream, the forces of Justice would prevail. And you could see people wanting to assemble that narrative in their mind. Yeah. And I know specifically when it was released in it wasn't as damning, as we had hoped people like Rachel Maddow, like she was eating her own shoes. She didn't know what to do or say, you know, because you've constructed an alternate reality in your head, and you start to believe it. And then when real reality encroaches a sophisticated persons to go. Okay. I was wrong. Let me step back and either your ability to say you wrong. Instead back or you double down. You know, in doubling down is now because our president does it is like a sign of strength. Oh, he's actually sign of it's the it's the flag of weakness. It's like I'm incapable of admitting right? That's, that's not a sign of strength. And they're like, no. It means I'm strong. Because look how loud him yelling. And how many capital letters? I'm using those are clear strength things. Yeah. It's, it's always, you know, they, it's in our nomenclature now was reading a review of Louis CK's show in Minneapolis. And it was talking about how he double down on his parkland. It's like that's now in the vernacular of I'm gonna stick to my guns. And when you're wrong, there's no point in doubling down, Vietnam, great example. We were wrong. We doubled on repeatedly gray doubled into next door countries. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Finally settled on the same deal in nineteen seventy four that we had in nineteen sixty eight so it only meant that so many thousands of people were killed for no reason. Right. We doubled out seems like with something like the Miller report where we put so much so many hopes on so much expectations on it. That prevented us from a pre she aiding what we got, you know, like the report was full of things that are basically, obstruction of Justice. And also just a lot of stories about him, clearly, being not fit to be the president. Yeah. But because it didn't say he was like, like siring sinister, right. Like wearing one of those old furry communist hats cow. He didn't do that. So, so now we're sad. Right. And people wanted that fact to be in there. They wanted him to be shown in a Russian app. One of them to be Simon bar sinister because then it would all make sense. Yeah. Okay. He shouldn't be there. This proves why he got in there. Now. We can correct this mistake. In fact, for a lot of people that don't support him. It's the bad thing that happened, it happened because more people voted for him than voted, well, actually, that's not true. Less people voted for him than voted for Hillary Clinton. But he, he drew an inside straight in the electoral college. And he won the election as we any of, of all parties. Look at the future, we all want to know what's going to happen and have control over it and stuff. And maybe as a product of that there's a theory from a specific youtuber named the third eagle of the apocalypse, but he believes that there is a work that predicts Notre Dame Dhamma style, the collapse of the United States and Russian takeover. And the work is fifty shades of grey. The, the fantastic literary series of so much, but he believes it's an enormous metaphor and prediction for the book of revelation, happening and domino. If Notre Dame is wrote at a fifth grade level. But he the guy he's on YouTube. And this is from that cracked article six conspiracy theories that are unintentionally hilarious, by Adam wears, and he picks out photos of this guys on YouTube. So you can see him like reading his own prophecy. But as he's doing it, he's holding up like documents and you can kind of see through the paper, it's just a printout of the Wikipedia page for drag. Drag anything important, but he believes that Anastacia steal the main female character lines up with the horror of Babylon from the book of revelation, which lines up with the United States, and then Christian bright there. What are you? There was no United States then go ahead. Yeah. That's true, Christian gray lines up with the book of revelations scarlet beast. And then read Russia, oh my God. Here we are, again, there was my Russia that Russia was not read the there was no communist. And then he also claims that the fifty shades and the title is an bleak reference, so they're being fifty states in the United States. And that gray is a reference to, like, the, the ruins deep Howard land of the country. After all this happens enroll destroyed. Right. And it's just on YouTube. You can just go find it. We're not gonna link you to it. But, but yeah, just broadcast that to anybody that can. Yeah. Why if I wanted to take six months, I could write a book on how the John wick series is a comment on is a comment on name, it globalization and air, you could do it was not their intention, right? Right. But I could do it. I know I see people writing things about things that we did at the Simpsons that were say, oh, no, that's not what we, that's not what that was. It's, it's like a very Monday morning quarterback, light positive version of, of this kind of thanking just I watched the show a lot and I like it a lot. And I think I see thanks that aren't there. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Oh, you put things into it. That yeah, yeah. That's not what it was. We also we have a few things here that I feel like the, the way technology changes makes some conspiracy theories extra interesting. And one of them is that old classic of tin foil. Hats right thing of like, oh, I'm going to put a hat of tin foil on my head. It's, it's like the visual signifier of conspiracy. Theorists, right. Yeah. It was a cartoon that came out of the fifties, I believe where people thought that the government was using radio waves to read their thoughts. Tinfoil hat to repel, the radio waves, what they had that some people at MIT let's test this they found out was that. And some cases, the tinfoil hat, actually amplified radio. Yeah, you're not doing yourself any favors. Yeah. That was so funny. It is I love MIT's like prank and comedy culture. Because it leads to things like this, it was two thousand five and they found that specifically ten foil hats, black most waves, but then amplify mobile communications and broadcasts satellite waves then also amplify aeronautical radio navigation and more importantly space to earth space to space satellites. So it makes it easier for cell phone on satellite stuff to get into your head. So we're all carrying that kind of thing, and, and the tin foil, hat, actually increases, how that could actually hold onto you. We'll go back and before that it was Florida Asian and water. Oh, you know, Dr Strangelove. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was a that, yeah, that didn't come out of nowhere. There was a huge huge belief that fluoridation was a communist conspiracy. You know that didn't come out of nowhere. And that was. Yeah. You know, because out of the John Birch society. In a couple of other very, very right wing organizations in the forties and fifties. That was an attempt by communists to subvert American culture through better dental hygiene. Because I think in Dr Strangelove doesn't the crazy general who's worried about it think it's going to like mess with our sexual fluids, General, Jack d ripper. Yes. Purity of essence, essence, well into and then maybe I almost want to round off with like what do we do now? Like goes we go out into the world and it's full of conspiracy theories, like maybe maybe one thing to do is not assume all depth is something because there's more and more depth all the time. Everything there's more information about everything. Maybe we all need to read less into stuff. Yeah. Here's one thing that is a problem in the nineteen eighties with deregulation television networks made their news departments profit centers. Right. Here's before the news was revenue neutral responsibility of broadcasting, and it wasn't for profit, but then Reagan deregulated everything everything in life became a profit center. Right. So now news like all networks is targeted to an audience. It's micro targeted to conservative liberal, and it's impossible to get an objective news source. Right. That's incredibly dangerous. And also seems it's scary because if you think you manage to find an objective one then you don't really have the ability to like keep checking if it's objective in all right les? It's easy to get sucked out of that. So the thing to do is get your news from a variety of sources and take the. Aggregate, you know, just listen to FOX or MSNBC or CNN, but or fortune. Yeah, yeah. Or fortune. Yeah. You know, graze around and get news from a lot of different sources follow journalists, you like on Twitter, and yeah, because, you know, I know I know people that only watch racial mata-, and when yeah. When the Muller investigation became belly up started to form their own conspiracy theories. I got to know you've just been you haven't fully educate yourself on the reality of this. You've been listening to a spin for too long, and your reality is at war. With reality reality, we needed not hope so much by which, I mean, we need to be ready for stuff to not be what we expected. Lifetime lace hearted analogous. Yeah. Yeah. Life is create short and brutal. Thanks, everybody. I was thinking the phrase, we need to not hope so much. And I was like God. There's gotta be another way to put that voi-. We need to. Here's what this is what this is how I literally close my act when I perform live life is not fair. And that's okay. Yeah, terrible stuff. Happens all the time. Next time you think life is unfair. And you wanna go on Facebook and write a ten paragraphs screed. Nobody reads, but everybody hits like on five minutes. Go outside and try explaining to a homeless person how expensive it is to go? Camping. Even just go outside like, hey, exactly. Exactly. Ended up at self going outside should do. The episode four this week, my fakes Dana Gould for a diving into the human psychology that we all have we all have brains that work a certain way, and we can all put them into a gear that makes us more receptive to facts. I think. And so that's a good thing. And in our food notes, you will find all the cracked articles, we drew on the Sepah sowed a special thanks to Adam wears who's a fantastic cracked writer who has contributed. A lot of the articles on this particular topic, you'll also find other sources in particular wanna pick out that Scotus, blog articles, go to splutter as just a really good site to go to if you wanna know about kinda up to the minute news about supreme court decisions, especially because they make some wild ones lately, and they really did something amazing with that Ruth Bader, Ginsburg, feary. Like I it's, it's one of the rare times that someone has actually broken down. How receptive shitty Twitter accounts are to changing their tune at updating their information. They are tragically not that into it, especially because. That one's political. So, you know, we're extra motivated to be wrong is really astounding stuff. And I think it's really good to be aware of as the news keeps happening and wild crazy stuff. Keeps getting pedaled. I also wanna point out a New York Times article in there with one of the many Cunanan theories, this is a theory that the twenty eighteen Trump I'm nervous spending Bill. You know, just the budget for the government that it funded a military operation to seize trillions of dollars with a T in deep state cabal assets. And then release those trillions of dollars to the public, right? Finally, the regular people get those trillions of dollars the deep states been hiding and with a lot of these theories, we talked about today. They I think, as Dana said, and I agree a lot of times they're driven by people being said or hurting or something like that. And that in particular seems like one that just Trump is about to deliver bales of cash to the average person from some hidden spot. It makes you feel for these people, I think the more. We can reach them kindly or at least reach them in a positive way at a better that helps everybody. And of course, I wanna point you to other ways you can enjoy more Dana Gould, because he's, he's simply the best. The Dana Gould hour. Vailable on your podcast player. Check it out. And then here are these specific dates and times where you can see Dana on the road in those western half of the country city's June sixth. That's thursday. He is at the Aladdin theatre in Portland, Oregon with Bob cat goldthwait on that show with two heads tour, then they continue to Harlow restaurant on nightclub in Sacramento, California on June seventh. Then there at the marines memorial theatre in San Francisco California on June eighth. And they're at the gothic feeder in Englewood, Colorado on June ninth so June sixth through ninth Dana, and Bob cackled wait will be in your city doing to headed stand up. I think they do it separately. But, you know, two heads very fun. Also Dana is doing stand up at the comedy store in Lahore on July nineteenth twentieth. Twenty first July nineteen twenty twenty one and there are two shows on the nineteenth and twentieth so lots of ways to see him. Of course, there is a link in the food notes to get tickets to all of these shows have a nice night out, supporting live comedy. I think you should do it and beyond that our theme music is Chicago Felker by the Budo. Spanned, this episode was engineered by Jordan, Duffy and edited by Chris Sousa, if you love this episode that's great, if you hate it, let me know about it on social media. That's right. Social media a space where there are just more and more wild hairs out there. And I think we should be ready to acknowledge that not everything in the world has a bunch of crazy conspiracy layers to it. Sometimes as Dana said stuff, just happens my own Twitter account, it's very sensible. It's mostly posts about Snoopy that is at Alex Schmidt, my Instagram at Alex midst to Graham and among the wider internet at my website, Alex, midday dot com. 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This has been an ear will production executive produced by Scott Akron, Chris, Bannon and Colin Anderson. For more information content, visit ear wolf dot com. Hello, everyone. I'm Adam Conover. You might know me from my TV show. Adam ruins everything. But now I'm going deeper as the host of the new podcast. Factually out now on your wolf factually is a podcast where I interview exceptional experts to reveal shocking troops and thought provoking new perspectives from around the world of human knowledge. We dive in with everyone from professors to Pulitzer prize winners about topics like transportation guns, and the constitution trans issues and the military big tech sleep poverty, environments, and more. And, you know, do my best to make it funny. It's an investigative comedy podcast for curious people who never stop, asking questions. So go on subscribe now to factually with me Adam Khan over out now. Listen in Stitcher, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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6 Brain-Stretching Calendar Systems You Never Knew Existed

The Cracked Podcast

52:49 min | 10 months ago

6 Brain-Stretching Calendar Systems You Never Knew Existed

"Support for today's show comes from squarespace. Who makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project? They want to get you online. Whether you're showcasing your worker for selling products or just put in writing photography your face anything out there on the Internet where people can find it. They have beautiful templates. They have twenty four seven award winning customer support and you can head to squarespace dot com slash cracked free free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain gene. Hey there folks welcome to another episode of the cracks. podcast the PODCAST. All about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My Name Is Alex. Smith had podcasting housing here at cracks. I'm also known as the clam also known as Schmidt e the champ and I am also also thrilled about this single podcast episode covering to ooh amazing things all at once. We're talking about calendars today in two fascinating ways and our topic is brain stretching calendar systems. You've never heard of one one. More time. That is brain stretching calendar systems. You've never heard of before we get into that. Let me make clear and we say this on the conversation too but we understand there are multiple places and cultures in the world. There's not just one kind a way of living and the world uses more than one calendar. Also if that's a surprise is to you to hear that That's okay that's why you listen to the show right find out new stuff. Find out exciting things and fun fact for some of you beyond the quote Unquote Normal Calendar Calendar. Our world has the Chinese lunar calendar. The Islamic injury calendar the Hebrew. Calendar the Ethiopian Coptic Church calendar and many other dating systems used by millions of present-day people if not billions fun fact. According to National Geographic three billion people will gather and travel to celebrate the Lunar New Year traditions of China Korea Vietnam and more places this coming January twenty fifth. Nice little tie into last week's show with Jason about holidays. That's an awfully big one for a lot. The people anyway. Today's episode is about two things that are much more surprising. I think than the fact that multiple people have multiple calendars be first. Half of the show is about about these surprising history and little known secrets of the quote Unquote Normal Calendar. The Gregorian calendar is more specific. Name for it. That's the calendar that says this podcast. PODCAST released on December thirtieth twenty nine thousand nine hundred Anno Domini. If you WANNA get very palpable about it you you may have a sense that that name the Gregorian calendar it comes from pope. If you do good job that's correct. And the rabbit hole goes much deeper than that. which we're going to get into? Then the second half of this show is about calendar systems that are extremely dreamily obscure or are historical or are totally theoretical. They're mostly calendars. No one uses and a few are simply interesting ideas. The rest are direct correct attempts to improve on that Gregorian calendar because it is a stranger calendar than people realize in its history and its function also. There are two particularly equally important sources for our show this week so I want to cite them right up. Top one of them is a vox dot com article entitled. We've been using the Gregorian calendar for four hundred thirty four a years. It's still bizarre and articles written by Brad Plumer for Vox. Also it was written in two thousand sixteen so that four thirty four number is actually a little bit low. The second source is episode. One hundred fifty nine of a podcast called ninety nine percent invisible. The episode is entitled. The calendar is produced by avery. truffle men and hosted by Roman Mars and both these sources are of course in the food notes and I hope you'll check them out. They're great also hope. You'll check out the food notes about our guests today to returning favorites. It's of this show and two of the funniest Comedians I know one is Billy Wayne Davis. He's a regular around the daily Zeitgeist and many more shows and has an amazing comedy album called live at third man Dan records. I'm also joined by Danielle Radford. Who has a screen junkies writer performer? A fantastic comedian Anna Co host of the tights and fights podcast about wrestling and so much more. The three of US had just the best time looking at how the calendar has worked and currently works and could work. There are other ways we could date stuff folks volks and I think you ought to get to hear him so please sit back or stand beside the bar. That New Year's Eve party ready to share. How Caesar and Cleopatra are the main reason for for that party and the Times Square ball drop and the whole Gregorian new year every year across much of the world either way? Here's this calendar ethic episode of the cracks podcast with Billy Wayne in Davis and Danielle Radford. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you them. Dang out billy happy almost the new year we. We're we're like a few days away on the specific calendar. Oh we use an only some some people use because today. We're talking about a lot of just amazing calendars the kind of nobody's heard but to get into that. We need to talk about the Gregorian calendar the calendar that the three of us us and many of you listening at home or on your devices. Probably on it that you're using the listen on the show and calendars the it goes by one. May I mean the one that business is done with. Yeah it's the calendar counter we think is calendar under. So we've got. The Gregorian calendar is named after Pope Gregory the thirteenth. So there were a whole bunch of Pope Gregory's before that and I think most people don't really no one knew what day day it was so he knew what day was. It's it's a very weird experience that it turns out basically every like majority Jordan Christian country and the fifteen hundred six hundred seventeen. Hundreds went through because in fifteen eighty two pope gregory. Just all of a sudden said tomorrow is supposed to be October over fifth but I am changing. Tomorrow is October fifteenth. So just he Nazi made a date to be like. Oh you thought thought it was October fans. Now it's October fifteenth. Whatever the Pope version of putting your Dick on the table is that's what he did or or something do the seventh Iran? ooh something major was doing. He was like you know what today's if fifteen guy was like. Oh you know you can change the day the pope freelancing and he was told that he was getting paid sub thirty so he decided. Now it's GonNa be the fifteenth so that he gets it's bater a smart. He's very smart pro really on it and so he just makes this change and so the year fifteen eighty two is eleven days shorter than most other years all of the countries that this applied to and in every other country where they changed. That will happen to that. One year is just shorter all of a sudden disarm putting my hands up. How did you get noticed that just suddenly it was a different day because I assume it takes like a couple of days to tell people stuff? Yeah so I think and from from what I've read this seems to be true if you like. The past was just not that interested in what day it was the way we because after appealed daughters bills were due the same way either more more like hey come harvest time. You owe me some eggs right. It was like what day is it. Autumn Corn Corn born days. Lend the and so then the calendar we have like there. There are a few details in terms of like naming the months and stuff but it was basically a two step process process. As far as the key Steph. We know about the second step. Was Gregory accelerates it by a few days but that came from the Julian calender before he did that around the Julian calendar which is named after Julius Caesar. Because what happened was Caesar was from the Roman Empire and the Roman Empire had a lunar calendar says a calendar based on the moon soon and it was only a three hundred fifty four a day year which meant that every few years the seasons were all Outta line way off. And it didn't make sense and Julius Caesar fucks looks right it turns out. He creates calendars when he fox good because he meets Cleopatra the thing we've all heard about stories and stuff and the Egyptians had a way better calendar calendar That was based on the sun and they were also aided by tracking the Nile but the Egyptian calendar was three hundred sixty five and a quarter days per year which is like I said the quarter the. Oh yeah that's a leap day earlier. You know and so he meets her and while they are having a relationship where I believe he was more than twice her age. You know and it was all that stuff He also says hey. Why don't I combine these calendars and the whole Roman empire will have a calendar? That's pretty similar to our calendar. Other than that date change they had they had a date baby due dates. Yes do correct. His work to try to get light is what he did. uh-huh because that's what it was. He was like here's a now. This is how it is and she was like. Hey this that we do it. And he's a cool this is we're gonNA put them together. We have this Julian calender and the reason Gregory was messing with that at all is that it was down to three hundred sixty five and a quarter days per year which is is close but it was off by eleven minutes and fourteen seconds per year which is not very much but over fifteen hundred years it had added up and so Gregory said hey now the seasons are in the wrong places and stuff. I'm going to do this. Slight change all the way around and so that was where that change came from like. He's he wasn't just doing it to be nuts. Gregory head to like put together the fifteen 1500s version of a group of scientists to advise him on what to do and said this is what we're doing this the calendar now but then at one point the he listen to the scientists and then he goes but Jesus right. Oh Jack like also Jesus if you disagree I mean yeah sure and what the Catholic Church the biggest thing I feel like to know about what we think of in the. US has just as the calendar is that it was basically driven by how Catholic place was decided how soon they got on the Gregorian calendar like we all forget that that sense coming coming from a pope the rest of the world wasn't like well the leader of that other religions at this. We'll do it's just like loading. It's like not everyone's GonNa get the new iphone S.. Like wait until you actually like. Oh My apps for messing up and twitter's not playing videos right so I guess I have to take care of that. Yeah yeah shipping stuff. If you're telling someone when it's October thirtieth and they're like it's November ninth. Then that's not look like what does that word mean. Oh tober there's probably a level of that I think by then the Arabic number system had hit most places right. Yeah I believe Gregory was working on that. Yeah Yeah like they would throw in some some Roman numerals for funsies places like we do for super bowls. But but mostly I'd give it importance of importance so maybe a thirty as an xxx. Because that's that's you. That's how we do it. The Gregorian calendar adopted and a lot of heavily Catholic countries. Right away but then basically the next centuries up till very close to today the rest of the world gradually did that eleven day jump or otherwise. In various places there's one story where Russia was on the eastern Orthodox Church mostly and so they it just didn't bother with the Gregorian calendar and so the two main revolutions that created like Communist. Russia are called the February revolution and the October Revolution. But they happened. And what we think our march in November because they hadn't done that jump yet so that's very confusing and then they put it in once. A Landon took over because he didn't like religion originate all he was like no forget it but we'll do the western European calendar also Britain and its colonies in America. didn't switch until seventeen fifty two we didn't we're still on the metric the metric hammer parts of the country. There's still a no. That aren't even the New Hampshire. Leave here I don't live on Gregory in Kaelin or the United States of America on imperial imperial nothing surprises. I'm positive that there are people like in somewhere in Denali National Park in Alaska who have never heard of the Gregorian calendar wonder. Oh yeah this. Is this the serial calendar named after seasonal. There's also there's a weird story aware that eleven day jump was easy for the pope to do but the country of Sweden and seventeen hundred. They said okay. An eleven day jump is chaotic. So we're going to vary gradually adjust over a forty year period. We're going to tack on a little more time in a little more time. Weeden right. Yeah but then what happened is Sweden got in a war or with Russia and a couple of other countries all at once it happened and they realized that if we messed with our calendar during the war it's hard to run the army and nobody to fight and and so then they stop shifting fought. The war ended the war and then did a shift all at once which was even more chaotic and very hard to do no way. So there's going on like throughout world history the especially European history just countries deciding to do this jump to the Gregorian calendar. People do any. I can't remember daylight savings time if it wasn't for twitter. Twitter will remind me because my phone doesn't Atakli medically like I couldn't how would we be able to a huge jump like until it was on the news. I think about more prevalent back in the day we were most most of media would be like hey switch yeah big news event that leads nicely into the both the counter were on and how we count time also have all these. He's weird wrinkles that I think nobody knows about even even though the current calendar were all on for instance. I didn't know that a year is not quite three hundred sixty five and a quarter days the earth orbiting the sun which is a year as technically three hundred sixty five point two four two one nine nine days Point two four two one nine nine. That's slightly less than point two five. So that means that in order to make the leap days account correctly for that not quite a quarter day. We skip and this phrase is confusing. But we'll explain it. We skip a leap day centennial years. That aren't divisible by four hundred. I'm a need the avenue. We and this is our current calendar that we're all on. We skip a leap day in centennial years. which are the ones that end in one hundred or you know like a big round number so did we skip one so we get one in two thousand okay? That's what I was about to. We had one in sixteen hundred skips seventeen eighteen in one thousand nine hundred leap days completely than had one in two thousand and so in two thousand one hundred messed messed up in two thousand right also like Y. Que was happening so none of us thought about it. Because not only are there fewer leap days than you think there but also earth's rotation is slowing down a little bit time. See I was GonNa ask you about that too because like the universe is always constantly expanding and getting data and getting smaller universe of turns. It doesn't give a fuck about what we're doing on. No Yeah Yeah Yeah. And and also the the rotation they think it's slowing ever so slightly mostly because of what the moon does to the earth orbit is not quite an even circle and also the titans are impacting it and so what's happening so affects women's lady times which affects and shirks Race are are apex. Predators are going crazy and our days are getting a different legs is crazy so the day we wanna just base it on how long it takes for the earth to rotate and circle but according to time and date dot com and and Solid sources from there today Right now is zero. Point zero zero zero five six two two seconds longer than twenty four hours so today is that extremely tiny fraction of a second longer than twenty four hours. So how do we fix that. So it's basically a situation where we can't fix it we need to do is figure out whether we wanted to be on atomic clock time which is extremely exact. About what twenty four hours is. I'm not doing more if we want to be on. Earth's current rotation time and so what science sciences doing and what an organization called the international Earth Rotation and Reference System Service. I they sound fun or E R S S. I WANNA party with them. So what they're doing is they are adding leap seconds to the year every once in a while and so the seconds get added to like a universal coordinated. Time like what we've got on our regular clock on her phone and everything so in like two thousand years. We'll have a new half a day. Yeah it'll it'll be an extremely long day. Ah so they still won't get it off like people who work hard on people who work at McDonald's they're not going to get like they still won't be making fifteen dollars an hour but they're definitely not getting overtime serving at at eight. AM on Thursday and it will like right now. Universal coordinated time is thirty seven seconds behind atomic clocks because they added another leap second at the end of two thousand sixteen. They will probably add another one in June of twenty twenty. I don't think people know that every once in a while there's an organization like adding a second back into the clock because the earth moves away that's confusing and we need to. We need to make the day's work. Amazing Yeah also. The earth is more of blong than I think most people call now to. Everyone knows I'm just a weird thing to be contributed about. I'd keep zoning out because like I'll start thinking thinking about like what you're talking about can't fool. It's so confusing. Billy's infinite time my brain can comprehend it well and Any takes people like astrophysicists to plot out these these leap seconds that I think most people don't know about there are fewer leap days than most people know about analyst calendar was like total mass and its implementation. It's amazing but we all just kind of use it and when I say we all I mean a lot of people mostly in like got North America and Europe because of the Internet that calendar I think is more and more predominant in the world but there are many counters. We're GONNA talk about today. We're not gonNA talk very much about The the extremely widely used while known ones like the Chinese lunar calendar it creates Chinese new years. There's an Iranian solar calendar and there's Iranian New Year which is no Ruz. There's an Islamic history calendar. There's the Hebrew calendar there's all sorts of calendar systems that you know people who were not listening to Pope Gregory we have been using a longtime whole thing and also we have some calendars today. That are either extremely obscure or no longer used. That are crazy. I'm very excited to talk about crazy. Yeah Yeah give me the crazy calendars. Let's start with there. Might be a few people using this. There's many of these calendars that are not agreeing. Calendar are used mostly for religious purposes like finding holidays like the Balanese power con calendar. And it's the island of Bali Indonesia and it's mainly used for religious purposes but most the counters we know of. It's like Oh there's a set of weeks days and that's about it and the Balanese Powell on calendar has ten different week cycles. That are happening all at the same time. Oh so there is a one day week two day week three day week all the way up to ten day week so every day is a slot in one of these different week cycles. It's all at the same time so this is a different regions. Take those different like this is our and there's also this one or is it like every one of them is is doing like this is our two day calendar. This is our ten day calendar. Everyone's using all of the weeks all at the same time so we think of. Oh this day is in this week but the Bali calendar the with these ten different week cycles. Every date in the week has a different name and so like for example this is one dates name. Luang Pat Pat Batang. Three piping was Soma Lou Dra to lose Duca Caylao. Each of those words is a different France. Slot in the weeks is way smarter than we are. This is coming from a cracked Article Five cultures whose calendars would break your concept of time. Ted Amihai and you will see in the footnotes folks the like the chart to understand this. Calendar is very dense. There's lot going on. It's back because well I mean here in the middle of the ocean the time you know he gotta do. Let's just study that song sitting at the dock of the bay except like the bay is is all of the border of your own rate plan complicated. The Katie calendar on the rest of the lyrics are just intricate. Calendar rules. Yeah it's also a calendar where they a year is four hundred twenty days and it split into two two hundred and ten day cycles and also the years aren't really numbered. Suggest all you care about apparently as what Daddy it is within the ten different weeks of two cycles of the year. But you're not tracking year numbers. The way we do in sunny the rain comes and then it's hard again so it's not like that will fuck up like like the year crops or anything either. Well also like Bali at least when I was younger like that was one of those things on soap operas where people be like. Oh we're so rich we're going to belly. Yeah right or something like so. That's you know has been not now but that was kind of my perception of it. So yeah I'm sure they use the Gregorian calendar to help the tourists move through but totally. Yeah and it. Also it seems like there are a lot of countries in the world where they will just use the Gregorian calendar and also print the date on in this other calendar that they have just now at the same time because why not very easy to. Yeah if you at home go to Bali. I don't think you'll encounter this calendar because it's very specific to religious purposes and is also very old so it's unclear how many people are still using it at all and it's really one he's always late. The this calendar is very cool to me because I feel like calendar makers you would think they would be limited by just having the earth and sun and moon to work with right like basically early every calendar we know of is based on those three things that none of which we control and are just moving the way they're going to move in or pretty consistent and are pretty consistent right. Yeah but I. I love that this calendar under is it seems very independent of all that like. It's it's just designed in a whole different way. It's amazing that people could come up with that goal. Yeah it's really neat and then convince other table. That's not only come up with. Yeah that stuff is what fascinates me. It's also yesterday came up with this but then the gumption to keep being. I'm like no this is this is it because no one they comes up with shit like this is ever met with people being like hail. Yeah that that sounds good. Let's tell other people universal across all of like a foreign power the everything it's not Bali's calendar it's like universal against like every calendar. Everyone has done time again. Just like extra like you know two point five whatever of a second and I was like what are you talking really really really confusing. And Yeah that there's just other ways to do it also What like these calendars they sorta spring from? Oh there's this tradition. Maybe maybe I'll tinker with a little bit. There's two calendars here that came out of massive revolutions right and so there's a huge political revolution and then the people who did it said we aren't just changing the government we're going to change everything One of them is the French revolution and so in November of seventeen ninety three. The people who did the French Revolution Overthrow. The king had a lot of people put in a republic they cetera. Yes they They also said we're overthrowing the current calendar and clock. We're doing everything different. That is getting after some power or if they're truly seizing power I also changing time. What okay what else? It seems like people were so locked into King's time in Europe that they were like this is approximately as fundamental of change. Get rid of a king changed the clock. Yeah it's about the same and so they so they said we're going to do everything metric and when I say metric I mean like the measures that we have what it really means is. Everything's based on ten right because the For instance the clocks we have like at sixty for seconds Atkins two minutes and twenty four hours a day. It's very confusing. And so what the French says. We're going to have ten day weeks. We're going to have ten hour days. Each our will be one hundred minutes and each minute will be one hundred seconds. And that's just how things work. Okay but how much of those do I work. And what is minimum wage. Yeah great question. Dan you just figure out the math while that actually makes more sense. It's like when we as Americans learn what the metric system really is. And you're like Oh that makes more sense that way oh yeah like millimeters centimeters. Could you step back yard Elliot. You know what at least we don't do stones for weight that's one best drew a lot of the super medieval measures. We got rid of heads. I think that's gone. We do horsepower. Power Horsepower engines got four hundred and certain horses under. You couldn't actually actually do that. Ted I mean could you brattle four hundred horses to watch that they They also gave every every individual day of the year a name and so all the days had agricultural oems such as pitchfork barrel Dung and plague all the French words for these things were day names. It sounds like listening to someone's poetry at a party. Well wake me up when it's bull and then also with this massive the time change because it's very hard to say in your country just now hours and minutes and seconds are divided up differently. They started making clocks that show both what Alcala regular dealer time and this French time. And so it's a clock with like five hands on it and there's a picture in the footnotes It's just very hard to read. It's hard to look at it and see what time it is. It's crazy I super I like I love nerdy stuff that broke me but the five hands because I'm like I'm all in on this calendar stuff. I'm like yes. Tell me more I love this shit. Give it to me and now I know how my mom feels when I'm trying to explain. The Marvel. Cinematic Universe is how I feel now. Simone just this keeps saying they just make a Kinda I follow it real close. Yeah I'm really into it so no but like it's really important why Tony only died because he was the thing that started. Oh you're you're leaving now okay but that makes more sense in this nonsense right emotions and storyline behind on all that like this is just more God. I mean no one liked hanging out with me so I was decided to change time. That's that sentence I keep saying and you guys just pausing insane thing to do joker stuff. Yeah no mental illness. It is mentally ill. No one wants to hang out with me I'm going to be the person who created this whole system as named Gilbert Romme and he was executed in seventeen ninety five for I think unrelated being tough hang and they gave up on the time system within seventeen months and then gave them tailender. After twelve years. Twelve entire years of this crazy can hear a little bit. Yeah let's say goes you know what it just did you ever hang out with Gil never really got. I couldn't hang out with amazing twelve years but it's just told him we'll give you twelve years where it was was I at the French Revolution. We get yours way told in twelve years. Promised we promised toy we killed him but we still do after two. But we'd remain. He's a hell of a negotiator. We daycare late. Great negotiator but like we guillotine. But we don't want to be Dick's wchs on also just like a fun fact but this calendar because it's all decimal it's all based ten right and the one other like main time system around on that's base. Ten is that like decimal on the ending of star dates in Star Trek. Yeah Yeah like whatever whatever for the Star Trek reference. Yeah because so whatever. The captain says something something point to that means. It was three date. Yes something something. It's starting I'll be like a number. Yeah League wake you up when I'm done billy just teleport's like oh the happy. Almost the New Year on that one specific or Gordon Calendar as we've been saying but a you know a lot of people see a new year rolling around they say. Hey It's time for a resolution the only time we use the word resolution otherwise. It's very heavy right. It sounds it sounds like ah congressional thing or or a king deciding to invade. I don't know maybe that's just in my head point. Being a lot of people resolve to start something new or begin something new when Gregorian calendar rolls over. Maybe it's getting yourself a website you know it's going to be twenty twenty. What a perfect futuristic year to finally have a website that puts you online and I'm here to tell you squarespace we'll make that process simple? They have beautiful. Templates created by world-class designers. They had the ability to customize just about anything there with a few clicks also they have e commerce functionality to help you sell stuff they have analytics to help grow the website and get more people looking at it. They make buying domain simple. They just have a laundry list of great features for putting you on line in twenty twenty as you may be resolving to do so head to squarespace dot com slash cracks for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code cracked to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com slash cracked offer code crap. Doc Van the other revolution we have is the Russian Revolution Institute. Soviet communism like we said they initially finally did the Gregorian switch off of Julianne but then they decided hey. We need more production in the Soviet Union like for some reason this crazy horrible dictatorship is not motivating people to work. What do we do to like? Get more production out of our people and so they tried to do a new calendar that would force people to work harder. Ed Help what if we check them arrival and we'll just tell them because what are they going to say. No here's Oregon area. Hey Yes yes all the stuff we're doing and they're like. Hey we only doing what if do some more stuff to and then like. Don't don't kill everyone who has a dvd of the Jeffersons or maybe not that good luck killer maybe one in every four period the vhs set of the girl. It was like fine. You started with a suggestion. A two seven be watched it. I've seen it more. You talk the more dead. It could have been so no so. They didn't do a good. The Soviet one they tried ride like to trick calendars. One didn't trick people good enough and that made it a second one and so the first trick here is they said. Hey weeks are five days now. A week is five five days. And we're all GONNA WE'RE GONNA print up post these calendars where all the days are color coded and so everyone then has a color that they're attached to for the color-coded calendar. And you get one day off per five day week based on whichever color you've been given by the by the state and so that's that's how the calendar works now now and it'll be different from every other country in the entire world. Maybe you want to go out. I can't I'm purple and so I'm just not available on and yet as so the like worst version of that happened to where they didn't bother checking like who's in what family and married and stuff and so there were like couples and families where they just kind of never saw each other now who are like. Hey Bill had friends at the color office and thank you so we don't ever see each other. The best thing ever happened to Communist. What color is your secretary exactly it? Just I mean humans just immediately corrupting those systems. Work is fine. Oh Man I'm sorry honey any I just your blue. I'm like yellow but we're all going to make it work and hang out with my Halo Buddies Sharon. Yeah what a weird coincidence that your best friend is yellow. I didn't know next no Russia and just walked go thank you phillies mastered accents. That's not even his accent. This other one is doing. I've been doing for ten years and it's very every every I would have thought. Well and so the Soviets did this calendar from nineteen twenty nine all the way to one thousand nine hundred eighty two so so multiple years of just this weird still not twelve. We can't insulate thirteen so we're not idiots. That's a good accident is really good. And so then the Russian said okay. New Calendar Forget it new calendar you counter. It'll be one standard off day for everybody so now we we don't have this color coded issue however it will be a six day week which means everybody gets even less time off and has to work even harder but we fixed the the off day thing right. Isn't that exciting. And no one like this. They were all very upset. Also the painting we do all. We're trying to sees the means of production and it was calendar. You don't Mike how we can't have sick go away. We don't have Kuku so complaining and also there's a little more calendar math so it's it's six day weeks and they said we'll just keep the standard month so it's six day weeks so five six day weeks. That's thirty days right great but then anytime a thirty one day month or February February with less than thirty days came along these Soviet government had to announce a fully updated new calendar like account for it and make what that day was so from nineteen eighteen thirty two to nineteen forty when they did this calendar there were over fifty like national calendar Patches to fix the calendar system because it didn't fit long. Tom Did they I mean. When did they calendar the calendar when was the calender calender and Soviet Union it was from the Revolution Until Nineteen twenty nine and then it seems like from nine hundred forty on the way the Russians? Something where it's like if you get into power and you have it all the power power of Russia and everybody. There's I mean that is our system. So He's the Guy Right now. He's not Tuesday. They didn't exist anymore. Why I don't know I think maybe he had a bad day on a Tuesday? Tuesday's that sounds like some kind of like like if we reprogram human beings on what they think time is. We can reprogram their bodies to work long but it doesn't just like we just work wrong but I think that sounds like that line of thinking that those type of people we can attack a human yes the way the tech companies try to do now or they're like it's totally cool if you work fourteen hours a day if you have a ping pong table. Yeah you're a ping pong you're dealing and you're looking Jones. We tournaments we have oat milk. And if you're tired you can sleep in one of our bunk bed pods piece a shit also. We have property pretty. You can rent from us yet. When that also the the Soviet people they seem to kind of reject this engineering on that second trick gallon tired the The workers just started Faking sick on Sunday all at once together we're also probably dying. Yeah but Yeah as I am sick of this bullshit line. Yeah that's what revolutions tried to do with the calendar. It's very hard to do before. Are we go. There's a few other Calendars here that are not old historical Wednesday our calendars that are Basically an update on what we call the quote unquote normal calendar the Gregorian in calendar. Because that's one of the weird things about it is that it got its last real update and fifteen eighty two. And you know we could do it again if we wanted with the calendar. We've got got a thing that I think everybody knows is weird about is just a month. Lengths are kind of random and and stupid like they're all thirty one or twenty eight or whatever trick right and never remember which is which which. But I don't know yeah. Yeah it's like it's thirty one thirty thirty one thirty so it's like if you hit a knuckle and then the group between knuckle Michael Many hidden echelman a group between the knuckle boy. Yes I think it's like I believe January has thirty one so it's like January. Hit Your pinky or we'll February because it doesn't have it's. It's like a shorter months so anything that's not thirty or whatever and then you hit the groove and then march you hit your knuckle and then yeah April you hit the the difference between and that's how you remember remember which ones have thirty one and which ones F thirty or less of that actually works. Well great it's very that's amazing. Some designers calendars have said. Forget any systems like that. The the thing is just the basic math of that twenty eight times. Thirteen is three hundred sixty four so if we did thirteen months of twenty eight days right if they were it just all if we add an extra month and make all of them even like similar set of days. That's three hundred sixty four days you tack on Extra Day or two extra days you got a year easy so so you just do one day at the end of the year. Yeah like you like in this is Washington DC Day right weirdly. A lot of astrologers say that like wild because all of the months like go to planets and everything a lot of them say that there is an extra stra planet that doesn't get counted called Lake Volkan or something like that which I know but they say that that counts for September and that should be included in our calendar under but is no wasn't Wyoming. Recognize that planet. What astrologers do I mean? It's not part of our solar system as I. I cannot remember if it's like a moon or something that they insisted should account and that would. Oh that's amazing. I love those right Christine. Only there's a hidden planet so this this idea that we could have a hidden month. We add an extra day or to make it a year. A few people have designed signed calendars. That would work that way. And there's two famous ones at one. Is the French positivist calendar. The French added again. Here we go and in eighteen forty nine so so as after the revolution be positivist. Were secular humanists. They were they said you know. We don't need religion. We'll just be humanist that way and so France was very Catholic and they said the calendars all from pope and full of Saint's days. Forget it we're GONNA do this new thirteen month. Calendar and also every month and hand every individual day will be named after a major figure of history or science or philosophy and they were all European men all in them. uh-huh yeah happens and so they tried to roll that out and then they're the three hundred sixty fifth day would be called complementary day and it would be dedicated to everyone one who has ever died and so they wanted their movement to make this calendar takeoff. It just never did it. L. It's like Miss Congeniality like an award for people that are okay that maybe Sandra bullock move but just like it's like Oh okay we'll honor the people that were cool wall but not worthy of their own day Lewis. Yeah you got some done today. You Die we'll give you a day doc. Because we will link to all the calendar with all the list of all the different people at it because there's hundreds of them because they had all the days and months but the a month special brea and the month after key people like Caesar and Moses and this like French people of history calendar. You can look what day day it is today on it. And so we're taping November thirteenth. Now you know that so So on that calendar November thirteenth is Frederick ninth because the month is named after King Frederick the second of Prussia who was a famous general. And it's a month for all politician and General People and then the specific day a is named after Dutch statesman Johann von Olden Barneveld. And so you could tell people it's Frederick ninth or you can tell people it's barneveld either one you want like the the Boston Barneveld Yeah right and so. This calendar never took off. Because that's all silly and then there's another approach to this thirteen month. Calendar called the international national fixed calendar was designed in Nineteen ninety-two by a British railway. Scheduler name Moses beat cops worth and this this had much laureates the B. is yeah I know he'd be doing and he was. He did not have an agenda of. Let's talk about philosophy all the time. He just wanted to make correct better about being there. I'll goes back to Caesar and Cleopatra. Ray Calendars Mace. They're all sex and so he he said we'll we'll keep the month names. We have everything will add a thirteenth month named soul. Sol like an an old name for the Sun It'll go between June and July instead of at the end of the year just because I feel like that was his idea and then there would also be an extra day at the end of the year and he basically you spent the rest of his life traveling the world trying to get people to adopt this thirteen month. Calendar with even months and CH- selenium can you. Can you can answer the door at high. I wanted to talk to you about my new calendar. Avon calling this link door to door like I'm already methods. We measure time. uh-huh putting stuff in on like craigslist. Like hey would you. Are You an entrepreneur. Would you like to your own business. Then you get there and he just like. I'm selling the idea of you telling people about calendars and also these knives money. You don't know to be on the forefront of new time new time what's that mean it's just a hard like even you explaining this like the theories and all these like I'm just fascinated that it gets so far that people are all right right that they're you're like I'm gonNA. I'm GonNa Really Lecture people on this in a way that. Yeah Yeah and the thing with this. International calendar is almost. Nobody took him up on. Except except George Eastman and George Eastman is the founder of Kodak which is is still a massive company and especially before Basically before for the nineties it was the primary company for cameras and photography and the entire world and then and go fuck yourself. Yeah then the they were screwed But at the time we're still doing fine. Yeah there okay. They all money but Eastman said this. Calendar is brilliant. The world should adopt it. He said in nineteen twenty for man him and Kellogg just like some weird ideas you get a couple catch and then you get cocky. ABC's cornflakes you'll stop masturbating trading. Right right they'll work. I mean if you constantly cornflakes mashed busy. Yes comes out like powder the for us as Eastman. He's like. The world won't do this but he did lobby At the League of nations to try to do it and it almost worked but he said if the world won't do it my company will and so starting in nineteen twenty four Ba. Kodak Company ran on a thirteen month. Calendar different from the entire rest of the world and also Eastman Tragically commit suicide in one thousand nine thirty two but Kodak keeps using the calendar until nineteen nineteen eighty nine so until our lifetimes Kodak was on a thirteen month calendar internally and we're just kind of adjust for the rest of the world but in in their own system. It was That I really want to hear from one of those employees. That's just well you don't understand it because in there before you even is just like learning being like a system wherever your server is just the culture different so so when you go in. Yeah the language and everything's just a little different stuff but it is I against yes exactly and it's also it's also probably a good way of protecting certain information. He probably figured out like it was a way because people didn't understand what they were saying. Unless you're in the system and they want you get on the system Faulk we're here I'm sticking with it and then but to me also probably a testament to why his company was successful to start with. That's a stubborn fucking thing today. That's so stubborn that you're like oh no no. No we're doing it and and then you go to the world's not going to like us so far can do it also desperately WanNa hear like everyone has that lake. Here's the tape like. You're you're renew trainee like you come in. I desperately want to see what those are. Oh so you've decided to work for Kodak and there's like the as music in the back. We're so happy to have have you. You're the newest team member and a fast growing photo company. So the first thing you need to know is our calendars are way way different late. Let us introduce you today. We're gonNA talk about delete. Gloria how do you sell that right. Well we're also getting the story mainly from an episode of the podcast ninety nine percent invisible about this calendar and they talk to an Former Kodak employees who worked under this calendar and he loved it like he said he misses working under it and like tried to bring it to the next companies. He worked worked at and they wouldn't do it. Because you sound like a crazy person. Hey so have you heard about Glebe Corp and the celebration of book. I'll just go back to my cubicle. It gets fun. Should I put my things in this box. Yeah I'll just put my things in this box and then the bus. Yeah it'd be like it'd be like if you worked at sonic and then you went to tender Greens or something. Have we tried it. Did you try for everything. That's what we do is on it. You just fry things. Did you. FRY right wait. You mean the the lettuce and like the woke people love it. We're not gonna but we have the salmon and it has like the early sugar fried in it. I mean okay but what do we do with the backyard state. Okay okay to Roller Skate. But the baby spinach with like the goat cheese and the walnuts okay ball grabbing things alphabet like the Kodak employees. He was so excited about this calendar because he worked in He worked with or in accounting and so all the months being the same amount of numbers. It made it a lot easier like like you didn't have to adjust for stuff however nobody wants to change the hallander. I feel like I feel like like as we look at all these whether or not. They're better than the calendar. We have halfway just never going to do them right. We're not we're going to do what we have already know. It's going to be this calendar and change there so you know the irs arrest when you're doing accounting and you WANNA like submit taxes. They definitely want to hear a lot about blurb Toba tour is like their favorite thing to talk about. It definitely doesn't make you sound insane especially if you're like. Your paperwork says April Fifteenth and on my calendar a long time It doesn't like it. What are you all doing? Yeah so never change it. Yeah folks. That's the episode. Good for this week. My enormous thanks to Billy Wayne Davis and Danielle Radford for diving into a topic that is brain stretching like we set up top. It's really conceptual rule at interesting to me. And they are wise wonderful people who found humor in those very data heavy logic heavy ways of measuring. How time goes across the year? I'm I'm so grateful to both of them. And I am grateful to you dear listener for so many things in our food notes. You will find all that information on the history of the Gregorian calendar. You will find Wacky Jackie and wild details about the other calendars of the world. Such as in Bali and in our minds like the French positives calendar named after historical white men. And most of all. I want to say thank you. This show exists because you listen to it and I can't thank you enough for making it a part of your week and making it a thing at all you're bringing it into existence by hearing it as A. I've had a really gratifying and positive year of getting to make this show and getting a share it with you and I'd send you all a card if if I could but instead here is me saying thank you and if there's one thing I'm I'm even more thankful for its that we're GonNa keep right on going twenty twenty SOC- Events GonNa be great and our theme Music is Chicago Felker by the Budo spanned. This episode was engineered by Jordan Daffy and edited by Chris. Sousa if you love this episode. That's great if you hate it let me we know about it on social media. That's right social media a tool that helps Organiz like a million New Year's Eve parties every year. Did people used to send like paper invitations invitations. Boy that sounds hard anyway. My twitter account is at Alex Schmidt. He my instagram. Alex Smith degrom. And I'm on the Internet at my website. ALEX MIDDAY DOT COM. That's got my show dates my email newsletter of free Internet stuff tips and so much more and I'm here to say we will be back next week in the fantastical future year. That sounds sounds like an glasses prescription to me of twenty twenty. We'll be back with more crack podcast. So how about that. Thanks

Pope Gregory Billy Wayne Davis Kodak Billy twitter Russia Danielle Radford US Bali Caesar Julius Caesar Alex Smith Soviet Union King Frederick Dan records Alex Schmidt twenty twenty
9 Everyday Objects With Incredible Secret Powers

The Cracked Podcast

52:59 min | 10 months ago

9 Everyday Objects With Incredible Secret Powers

"Many thanks for the support of our old pals at squarespace because they wanna help you do something specifically construct. A website sees twenty twenty with the power. Our of having an internet website of your own you can do it and squarespace can help head to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch the offer code cracked to to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ah Hater welcome to another episode of the cracks. PODCAST podcasts. All about why being alive is more interesting interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt number had a podcasting here cracked. I'm also known as many the clam also known as Schmidt Eva Champ and I am also also thinking about sell you cotton and here's a quick story for you folks right up top based on that cell you cotton thing I just said World War One happened slightly more than one hundred years ago was a very a bad war and in it. Cotton was in short supply The allies needed cotton for bandages for their soldiers. There wasn't enough of it but they found two amazing solutions solutions by turning everyday things into exactly what they needed. One of. Those things is peat Moss also known as Fag Moss. It has a plant that grows in. Cold weather bogs and marshes. Shoutout to bogs. Really Fun Word Anyway. According to The Wall Street Journal the British in World War One. They realized that Peat Moss is a highly absorbent plants with anti microbial properties. So they ship that Moss from British Canada to the Western Front for use as bandages and worked. It was a temporary bandage. This weird Canadian Moss. So that's amazing. And then here's the second thing they figured out in nineteen seventeen the United States number one country joins World War One. They decided to show up. And the Kimberly Clark Company out in Wisconsin. They start sending cell you cotton to the front and and sell you. Cotton was a new invention. It wasn't absorbent. Wafting that's made of wood pulp So they take what used to be trees and they turn it into sort of a wadded fake version of cotton. It was cheap to mass produce extremely absorbent and a good substitute bandage. But the story doesn't stop there because female Red Cross nurses in the war for a novel use for this sell cotton that was designed as a bandage and so they They took this artificial textile made of wood pulp and started using it it also to absorb menstruation. Prior to that lady's used Hanson cotton rags for their periods and on advice from the World War. One western front. It's Kimberly Clark Company in the US started producing Celje. Cotton sanitary pads under the brand name Kotex and later. They used that same material to make tampons tampons both. These stories of the Moss and the Celje cotton their tales of people realizing that everyday things have amazing properties. If you figure out what those are and if you use them for that Peat Moss could be a bandage wood pulp could absorb a period and a depending on your manufacturer. It might still be doing that all it took to make make that kind of thing happen is figuring it out and that leads us into this episodes topic. We're talking about everyday objects with incredible secret powers one one more time that is everyday objects with incredible secret powers because one way being alive is more interesting than people think it is. Is that an everyday item. Like a roll of Scotch tape or a jar of mayonnaise can do so much more than you thought. Most of the stories in this episode are things where an everyday substance or item or object Jack gets used for a whole nother purpose. There's also a couple stories of things that are man made objects that are just much better designed or more excitingly designed than he ever avenue. So this one's kind of a two for one episode. How about that and another great thing about this episode? Is it's guests. I have two wonderful COMEDIANS and podcasters to get into all these stories with today. One of them is Jamie Loftus a fantastic comedian. Who is fresh off a hit Ron of her one person show entitled boss whom is girl all you also probably know her? As one of the CO host of the fantastic podcast the Bechtel cast and we will have links in the food notes for you to see live dates of the Bechtel cast and boss whom Ms Girl and so much more from Jamie Loft. She's great and my other guest. Today is a new guest Ayako. AKATSUKA is a fantastic. Stand up comic. She's also the host of the podcast. Let's let's go. Obstacle which self describes a woke Japanese game show and when you listen to it you will understand why it's really funny and really great and lots of that show explores lors What is and is not considered normal in our world that we live in and I had consistently love her take on that kind of stuff and so she brings a lot of that into this today? Where are we look at how you know an ordinary jar of mayonnaise or a very very simple bra can do so much more? It's really exciting. So let's let s get into that. Please sit back or sit with a tape measure because a seemingly ordinary tape measure is full of insanely good design choices and I think that's pretty neat. Here's this episode into the cracks. podcast with Jamie Loftus and Avocado Akatsuka. I'll be back after we wrap up talk to you then Jamie. Thanks so much for doing this and I I am excited That we we have so many like objects that are neat. You know like there's so many things you come across in the world you like another boring thing not these now. They're disguised as boring things. There's a lot of the time to just kind of Nice really. Oh wow the inner beauty of tape. That's what you just gotTa look far in and spend time you go to get to know it's it's the same with people and and we mentioned. Why don't we do this story about I because it turns out that ordinary scotch tape works a lot like an x ray machine if you do it right? Which is neat the basic thing with x rays and I I had to like Google and double check because I realized it didn't really know how xrays worked by that something where there's a a lot of electron movement and that creates an x Ray beam and then your body parts absorb or block that beam different ways? Depending on dense they are in savannah. Leaves a picture on the the far side of you on paper or another photographic medium. So that's just xrays. Basically rainy and it turns out that in the nineteen fifties the Soviets tried peeling tape off of glass and vacuum. I don't know if it was on purpose or not classic but And then when they peel day founded emits a bunch of electrons and then they just said Oh okay that's interesting and then in two thousand seven a team at Ucla tried doing that and it. Jenner founded generated bursts of millions of X. Ray photons John's enough to x ray of finger and so look at the food notes. There's a picture of a finger being x rayed by using tape. It's amazing that's incredible. Yeah Yeah Oh is. This is a specific brand of tape whereas all tape can do this. It's mainly it's like Scotch tape made by three m you gotTa oh you gotta go brand name WanNa get an x ray for money and apparently very secretive about how they make that tape and so it's also like a trade secret thing we I don't know how to just do a generic you though because tape so expensive it sounds like the beginning of like a world war. Three where like the wrong person gets this tape in their hand and boom you know. Hostages are taken X. Rays are taken. They have all the Info about I see myself convince knowing now that Scotch tape could give you an x-ray under the right conditions. I think I would try to like have too many drinks at a party and then grabbed averill attacking me like who wants x-rays and really make a fool of life so just prestige to tape my friend's house depending on how the situation is going to happen. You said you need a vacuum. We're catching fire. The Oric Orrick. You'll be fine and that mutilating a friend op mutilating mutilation. Oh yeah totally. Yeah that's amazing. I had no idea that other purposes and I usually buy off brand new. Because I'm my mom so it go brand name. Yeah everyone with generic tape will have no idea how their fingers are doing. Things are broken or fractured the proper diagnoses x ray technology fields so I. I don't know if it's advanced because we've had it for a while. It's very elaborate. Like you have to have a professional person do it any. After that lead Apron we were talking about everything and then also just roll of tape. You can kind of try to put one together. I guess that's very fun to me. I don't know it feels less risky to because I get so nervous. Like wearing the the lead apron and then someone who like want can't stand closer than ten feet to this is not safe. Yeah what is happening. You have to be in a separate room behind glass screaming at me and I'm wearing being a protective vest so like this is not yet because it's going to come back to follow my mouth says exposed. Obviously that's what you're taking photo of but as my you know what I mean the race. He's going through my my jaw and mouth. That's fine yeah I go to a dentist I finally groupon and that. I think she's not even doing it right like they they were just a this is just put like she just had a baby teeth. I Dunno dollars the I don't remember the exact right way to get. I don't get a lot of x-rays but then I had an the last time I was there as something. Something is off but was a see how long I live. Yeah yeah leave it to the professionals or use tape on your finger exactly. Yeah that's right and then we've got more objects more stories here one of them Osco you pick this one out and it's coming from five everyday objects that are secretly saving the world by Kelly Stone. It's a story three of bras being useful for something. Nobody would have thought. Oh that's right. Yeah so walls are being used to save injured turtles. Apparently you know injured turtles turtles. Their shells can crack young. Just they're everyday objects that's painful Daochi. apparently need the snap on your bra is used to sort of mend the crux together with also glue and then after it's sort of started healing and many back together they. I guess sort of start gently scraped the glue off and then they take the bras nap back off so so now your entire hire bra but just a broad snap is turtles Yeah and which is such a even just to think of one specific part of uprise being a tool. That's really neat. Yeah Yeah Yeah Browse need to be referred to as as tools more often. Yeah yeah putting on my gear. Yeah yeah yea object to is the thing it holds. I want transformer brower. You're like it's engineered right. I like it where you don't have to wear the whole time but it's around if you want it and come back together right in case you know depending on what your needs are that's right. Yeah Yeah so so the snap thing. I don't actually wear bras full disclosure same. Yeah so I was trying to figure out I guess we only one all ripe type and I know what it looks like touches one. I've tried I've worn them before by them to be like. Maybe yeah maybe doc and I guess now you can donate it to these organizations that are listening to snap for the Turtles Yeah. Apparently people are so touched that they they do this that they had an influx of bras and they so much. They didn't know what to do with that. They were like. Please stop sending Bras. We have enough that never Happens but the demand for donation. Yeah Nice that's very heartwarming. And if you and if you're listening to see the turtles healing if you ask me we'll have have a lincoln footnotes to where you can see the attached to their shell and then zip ties wiring that together so the shell. Ken Lake It's sort of like setting bone. It seems like not exactly but it's the kind of thing where you you pull it together and then at heals itself and then and then they take it off tie said Glue. I take it back. Hold that hooks. That's all right. We've got another story here with Glue and the sea and stuff because it turns out that they can use super glue to rebuild reefs. which is it's amazing and they're in particular doing it at? It's called Maya Beach in Thailand. The beach from the movie The beach like the two thousand movie with Leonardo Caprio where he is a person freaking out on a beach. I vividly recall this. Yeah Yeah I think the main setting it just stays there at the. Yeah Yeah it's about like a a community of people who are being sort of Utopian on a beach and then it all goes wrong kind of thing. He did it not too long after Tanic some movie. Because he's trying to. He said I love seeing me near the sea. Yes texted really well. Yeah Jesse where we can take a look to the horizon you got you got that shot you know. That Eh Sorta squinting got is like the Sea Ono. The Sun's going down. I have to look caught broody. Yeah Yeah it's kind of broody. Yeah so that same beach that same. Why because mainly people saw that exactly? Oh thing he's looking sexy on the beach and then they were like I have must go to the beach myself And so to many tourists kept coming. They're really wearing out the beach from the beach and so Currently the government has it closed. They they might reopen it in June of two thousand twenty one but in the people have forgotten about the beach now. I think it's a think it's safe to back watching the beach. It although I guess I guess we are re popularized by talking about it. Maybe we'll destroy these. Maybe it's our fault that the the beach will be. We brought it up and they're like. Oh my God yeah. He looks so hot in that movie. If you're doing fearlessness here like I got on the beach and I gotTa say Leo as a guy who's into like environmental change and stuff look what you've caused ause. Okay with your sexy brooding looking off into the distance. You fuse last hot. That when the happened yeah and wants dorm the beach which you care about yeah so yeah careful what you act and that's always tell myself you know I've never seen the beach. I gotta go watch it now. Pretty Wild it's got like a scene where he thinks he's in a video game and so it's it's like all video game style and he's doing this strange running with really crazy arms and there's a high score going up. It's a pretty weird movie. Yeah Okay Yeah and also to make the movie studios ended up like bulldozing of vegetation and planting palm trees trees that are from the island and and so allow things they also washed out a lot of the reef under the beach. Thank God But there's the good news because there are divers doing a bunch of work. Where are they like dive and get broken coral and then they bring it into a nursery to regrow the coral and it turns out? superglue is really useful because coral needs to be attached to rock in order to grow and so they can superglue coral to the rock. And then once it's been growing for about a week it can hold it on. Its own and it doesn't need Glue Anymore Hands Dan. superglued dissolves in salt water. I had no idea I wouldn't have guessed that that would be kind of like an eco-friendly tool. That's really nice. Yeah now can we also sonos brand of this super glue or is it. I think you can go. But that's okay. Yeah no for for those of you that are going to go to the beach and fixed the beach. That's right yeah any superglue. We'll do what if everything I think we talked about was one company's products like I just I just secretly Schilling for this company to you. There is yeah so good but yeah turns out superglue at like you said. It's weirdly ecological in this way because I think think of it as just some chemical some company but it helps here. It's very useful. That's amazing thank you. Thank you people who figured you're this out Lou. Scientists Glue Scientists. Yeah that's that must be a thing tweet us. If you're a glue scientist Allman glue aheads if you make glue. If you've eaten it I never. I never partook. Yeah I've never seen flu. Yeah Yeah I never got to like. I'm probably never GONNA this point. Yeah it's been overtalked now that you've thought about it too much by it's all built up in my head. There's no kind of compare. Yeah Yeah and then Other substances from there one of them is manny's normal thank and it turns out. That Mayo has a lot of uses. If you're a scientist who is studying nuclear fusion and nuclear fusion I have. I've learned enough about it to know how Mayo is involved. But it seems very complicated right. I don't know a ton about it beyond that. That's no yeah I unfortunately I mean this is like the worst food palate on earth and so I like I go for male. I like like I. I have tragically Rajawali Caucasian and like just we would put Mayo in things just to be like Now it's more wet like there was a boone. Sometimes I like I like male but it's helping people think not just embarrassing. So how does what is nuclear fission who with fusion. Yes usually don't event to be honest. I don't know what that is so in general. It's you fuse Adams. uh-huh together and energy is created. And then the way they're trying to do it is combining molten metal with superheated frozen gas as he liked take take pellets of frozen gas heated up really fast as much as you can and at the same time combined it with liquid metal and then somehow those will fuse and create energy. It sounds one very complicated to very dangerous. Don't WanNa do it okay. Yeah 'cause energy a lot of energy who knows what that means an explosion possibly sometimes and apparently most of the time experiment with it they end up with some explosions and so they don't like that because I know it's dangerous and so they've found that mayonnaise or at least in a study and May of Twenty Nineteen and the Journal Physical Review e. They're lettered fiscal review journals. I guess but they found they did a study where they used Mayo in place of the molten metal because it's an elastic plastic material that kind of moves a lot of the same ways and it's at least useful for like testing what metal might do in a nuclear fusion setting. Wow so the kind of thing where you're like. I want to know the person who has like. Let's try. Man is high very specific person. Yeah yeah we live differently right. And they've got to be ready for pushback of their like. Are you serious like what. Yeah he's like wait. No no no seriously. Yeah seriously we got or she. I WANNA I WANNA say mayonnaise scientists a woman I think so always is yeah. Yeah during lunch like she. She was eating lunch like by herself and then she she looked at her Mayo Sandwich or like tuna salad like maybe like something happened right and that's always how it starts at a movie lost in thought looking at Mayo and like it she discovers something because you've dropped a little bit of it on the table. Able I was like Oh this is it. This is what the perfect replacement for metal movie. That movie one of us should play her the player. I'll be like the one that doesn't believe you own. Then we become friends over time bond. Over Anna's experiments does the name of the moving moving beyond mayonnaise experiments. Yeah I'm the one that's like trying to be voice of reason. No Mail is strictly food. If you AH understand yeah it's so much more than bad. Yeah just have to believe right. Yeah Yeah I'll be. I'll be like a side lab assistant doing exposition or something. Yeah but we've blown up good Oscar and be like listen. I know it's not my place but I think you should give the man. He's a chance right right. Just leave or something to think about. I'm well I have to be. Dan Tagging missed. Because I'm the one not trying to save the world right because I'm so stubborn. I hate being told something news available. I WANNA do it. The old way I picture I probably die with meadow. Let's stick with metal and then there's an explosion and I'm in there. Oh Oh my yeah I think it has to be this way. That's yeah every move every you do the manning's way way thanks. Yeah it's like. Chernobyl should've listened to you know. Yeah yeah now I get the toned I get it this is. This is a disaster movie. Not Comedy No. There's also there's another just exciting use of a basic thing here which is table salt and a assume any salt table salt altium. It's being used for skin grafts by a certain researchers experimenters which Israeli come about it studies and trials. They've been doing in two thousand nine hundred and it's the kind of thing where we can do. Skin grafts already. It's just that it's very very expensive apparently to use the standard standard Advanced Enzyme called trip. Zine that cultivates Skin Ama- cost about nine hundred dollars per square inch of skin for sure inches nine hundreds. That's a lot of money to do like significant one. But then there is a researcher named Dr Roaf Ahmed Leading a team at the Jinnah Burn and Reconstructive Surgery Center in Lahore Pakistan. And they've found that there is a way to replace that enzyme with salt. And if you do it that way it costs about five dollars per square inch. Oh my God I do a skin graft I and suddenly that's affordable. Yeah incredible goes know how that works. Yeah that's great so with. Why a little flower? I Don I have no idea where you would even start to graft face with salt so yeah good job. We'll have links in the we put notes for describing the researchers and stuff because the story is don't totally. Explain exactly how it works. I think it's very advanced and new hersher get it. Yeah I know all I know is that Oh yeah five dollars cheaper the nine hundred take. Yeah that's how my brain works head for nine hundred dollars. You can satisfied but they WANNA deal matches scheduled they replacement head finally dream but there's probably four thousand ingredients beyond that name and a story say that as of September between nineteen they had tried graphs with salt version on thirteen people and all all thirteen of them had no complications. No issues so far and so you know it's one trial one start by. Maybe it's gone somewhere. Yeah exactly It's dark but the the skin graft experiments are happening in the context of acid attacks in various countries around the world. Here's one in the US. In Milwaukee the end November twenty nine th. I saw that over parking spot with a fight started in because of parking and then and then it became Racial Yeah and we're GonNa talk about hopeful things and here comes Milwaukee Lock. You're really spoiling. And we were talking about five dollars per square inch to good news just salt and then sorry. I took us there. But it's why there because also Pakistan is one country right happens a lot apparently and so that's part of why they're studying it in the first place. God they figured out this thing. Yeah that's great so good. Old Salt Goodall grants craft. And we've also got other a few other stories here about just like kind of everyday things you see that are much more excitingly designed than I think. People realize. uh-huh and advocate picked us out because there are it might be something everybody knows except me but I always see those little sidewalk bumps near a lot of curbs or a lot of places places people will step off and sort of wondered what they are yeah and it turns out they're very useful for a specific thing. Yeah those When you feel a little little little tiny bumps near across walker something on the sidewalk? That's not just a Tribu. That's the visually impaired. Be Able to to know. Hey you're nearing a lot of traffic. You're nearing where you have to stop because you're at the end of the sidewalk so it's like It's a warning sign which is pretty cool. Yes design on hidden in like I'm dumb. Why didn't I figure figure that out? But how would you because it's just like some things are decorated all the time. So you're just like Oh. It's like a decoration thing. They I'd like to have patterns on the sidewalk. I think I thought those bumps were it's Sorta like when you're driving and you start to go a little out of the lane and there's a rumble strip and you feel it right. Thought they were for like like cited people to notice the curb. Because I would you know mess that up or something. So they're looking out for me but it's actually for people who are not cited right for anybody. Anybody I guess I guess you slow down if you're rollerblades to even y'all know there's bumps you're gonNA slow things GONNA yeah. Yeah maybe maybe it's to get those people on them scooters. Stop scooting around the scooter. Scooter during the lizzy. If maybe we don't want you around here I don't know but it's probably teens and their scooters keble uses the scooter sometimes and it's really like a hard to hard to watch him back zoomed up to me so he's in a rush and he uses like scooter roaming for me. It's hard though. 'cause whom right up with like the zooming is such touch and it's very swift. Stop because you ask all right. You can't please fifty two nothing too fast fast fast. Yeah that's what gets people. Yeah Rumbles Symbols Gypsy up to imagine that that impacts the scooter community as well I think so too. Yeah Yeah I've never tried driving one over those blacks and they're called a ten g blocks was the original name They were invented by Seiichi. McKay in nineteen sixty five in Japan Installed in Okayama City nineteen sixty seven and then spread out from there and it's been a whole system that's gone kind of worldwide for not sighted people to get around. Yeah something about like you'll feel the grooves if it's going in a direction that you're going you're still okay. But then suddenly it'll be like a perpendicular type feeling surface types of. That's when we know to start stopping or something. Yeah Yeah Okay. Because there's the one type where it's like. I you feel the bumps and then if you start feeling grooves that cahors until it means you're approaching the edge of subway platform right and I've I've seen those in like subway stations in New York elsewhere with a bunch of grooves right by the edge I'm like Oh that's funny. That's probably for me to feel it with my feet. In addition to my is actually there's other people in the world facts about these Bumps they've really missed out like in burt box. Oh you know like they could've used this as a plot somehow. Aw Yeah or like you know like just follow the grooves or something you know to WanNa Miss Opportunity. It was a missed. It's tough yeah. We already got scripts going. American idea grooves Netflix wasn't that flips. It was Netflix. Was Yeah Yeah websites websites websites get your websites. That is a sales pitch. You've never heard on the street because that's not how websites happen. How do they happen? A service like squarespace. They are simply the best way. Eight a launch your passion projects start a new business showcase. Your work published content sell products and more. Everything happens on the Internet nowadays. I may just feel that way because because I worked for an internet website you know they're also stores and stuff but the main way to do it the best way to do it the way to do it. Worldwide for everyone you know is a website from squarespace quarry space with beautiful templates created by world class designers. And the ability to customize just about anything with a few clicks you can easily make a beautiful website for yourself. It's optimized for mobile right out of the box has ecommerce functionality. To help you sell stuff. It has analytics to help. You grow traffic to that website. Because squarespace empowers millions thousands of people to turn great ideas into something real so head to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code cracked to save ten in percents off your first purchase of a website or main that squarespace dot com slash cracked offer code cracked it. There's a couple more and one of them visit this sort of like the ten g blocks. It's tactile paving is also it's called about another another thing that's just better designed than ever realised and this is from five everyday things that have awesome secrets. Nobody notices by cycads biometric and Andrea Amino the the ordinary tape measure. Right like one. That's a case and you just pull it out it retracts it has The article counts five different features. That are just really cool. Design features is that I realized I never use. Because I'm not very crafty. Yeah I don't know if you guys like do any construction woodworking or carpentry or anything. I think those people know about not this stuff and I didn't I didn't I didn't know I mean I've used. I've used the hook before the Little Hook so that if you're alone in your life you know you can have the hook. That's always helpful. Yeah I thought that was the whole design feature was too. Yeah is that okay. This does not it. What what what did you use the hook for the hook I would use especially if you're measuring something upwards? Oh you mean suggest hook right. Yeah the second holder. Yeah Yeah Yeah and enables the lonely to accomplish household tasks used for something like helping to put your shoe on or something like another. Oh No I wish I wish I were that like thrifty now. It's tiny will help you. That was a terrible example. Don't don't try on it would never gonNA get your shoe on the team take measure hook. Someone who's listening can finally stop though uh-huh okay relief so that hooked there is that thing richest you can. UNHOOK it around a thing to to measure but also the hook. I never noticed. Most of them have a slot cut into them. It's like a horizontal slot. Now that's in the front of the Hook and and it turns out you can use that slot to hook a nail and so instead of needing to put the hook around an actual like ninety degree angle and something you can put the head of a nail in the hook and then measure out to wherever you want to do the next nail so especially. If you're building or doing carpentry this one little slot is a whole nother featured your Eh. Yeah I'll build something someday. Ask for that knowledge. That's cool. That is cool. It's not straight straight the way that a like when you're using a tape. Not What is it GonNa take met like a fabric tape measure to take measurements are but it has like that curved moved just because I I think that's just because yes maybe at rolls up in the case the hook of it also has a inherited edge it turns out the bottom of the hook is a little bit like the bottom of serrated knife or something and so if you WanNa do a mark where you want to measure from again you can just use is that like carve a little line into whatever you're working with so that's another feature and then also the way that the hook wiggles on the tape means that you can adjust for weather you doing an inside measurement or an outside measurement which is outside measurement is when you hook on something and pull it inside. Measurement is when you're like pressing the hook against it right right but I always noticed the hook kind of wiggles in there and I always thought Oh. I'm probably getting slightly wrong. Regiments all the time very frustrating. Yeah but actually. You're always getting right measurements. Whether you're you're pressing the tape against something or pulling yeah people are thinking about this stuff And then the last one if it's a tape measure that winds up in one of those metal cases most of the cases usually have a measurement indicated on them of how long the cases so I'm always like bending a tape measure to get to the end of where I want it to be but you can just measure the tape and then add the length of the case. Then you're all set. I know this a lot of carpentry stuff but I think it's a really cool. I would have known this information had to use his arm. He had to know how he probably. How how many Jesus arm cover my arms? Yeah boy. Every arm is different. But he's like well. It's three Jesus arms but it could be like you know three and three quarters of your arms right like we had to depend on arms. Yeah coming coming to tell us wish we could ask you. There has to be something that was always the same size. Yeah right probably. Yeah because that was I. Think the origin of the foot measurement to write. It was just like one person's foot that this is a foot of note the yeah and every foot shall be measured insured against this foot. I'm pretty sure that that's That sounds like a royal foot or something that they're like. Yeah this is. This guy's nasty foot is how our measure hyeres is because I hear that Royal Foot story I always wonder like the king have a lot of time for like constantly. Yeah sure you can measure it again. No more models yeah sure maybe use a figurehead king. Maybe he's like Oh you're Prince William type where he's like Oh actually have any influence. But I'd like to leave my mark in. Yeah yeah he had to. He's not farming. I mean picking taking berries. Well Yeah Skinny. His portrait painted all day. I picture right. You might as well just have someone below the portrait. Yeah measuring again. Sounds a little bit kinky but also it's yeah that's right pay me while. Oh you measure me. Yeah Woo shoot. Yeah another another movie killing really well. Kinky king movie author software titles. Yeah may may on the way that the other man as way now. That's really something to think about. Who all right? What's next? There's three here I guess. The rest of the stuff is is a lot of things about like fabrics rex and textiles and stuff and this one about velveteen fabric. I loved this one. This one was so cool. I like that. There's like gender politics to this to the velveteen albertine example too so the velveteen story. I thought was really cool. Because it involves a pair of married microbiologists already watch this. TV Show in the fifties is esther and Joshua later Berg basically she had this really Cool innovation that involved using velveteen fabric as a way to learn how to reproduce like biological populations because it's the nineteen fifty s right. She never gets credit her husband. Who is this was not his idea gets the Pulitzer Prize for was? It Appeals Sir we Nobel Prize for this innovation. That wasn't his idea. The whole at the optics are maybe not so good for her but it was her it was her innovation Shin but it was. It was cool like they were faced with the problem of they need to reproduce these like basically xerox these bacterial populations and esther found out that by using Ville teen. You were so she would press velveteen onto a plate with bacteria and the fabric sort of acted as the printing press law or so she. She invented a velveteen copy machine and then And then her husband got to go to a really nice ceremony decorative credit for it. Yeah they gave the the nineteen fifty eight Nobel prize for Physiology Madison to her husband and two other guys and then she was just at the dinner watching. That's Oh oh yeah that movie too. Yeah are they so. When did it come out? That finally is after they died they finally read her diary diary. God it always happens when they find notes and they're like oh she's the one that she passed away in two thousand six the says so so she did get credited in life life and she finally had a much harder path to being in like the Faculty of Universities but she got some credit later but not that price and I like in the fifties who would have been the person that would have been around velveteen more often forced to do all the domestic tasks it only I just I would. I would have gotten onstage in Bentley. Do you really think these three guys are all the time is your brain arraignments. That said I have to ask. I don't know what velveteen is but it did sound domestic so I was on. I was there with Hugh. Oh it's like a soft fabric. Yeah for clothes usually I. I've never used it but from Google leg I'm told it's it's a fabric made out of cotton but it sort of piles up like velvet like it's very thick and soft. There is why it's called the story in your little the velveteen eighteen rabbit. Yeah let's the other touchdown of big moment for velveteen. Yeah it's no I because because they was ingrained into like children's brains and it has a soft spot for a lot of these for you. It sounds like two and then it turns out that you couldn't use the velveteen eighteen rabbit to copy bacterial populations and that that is all sounding. Yeah where maybe the story said but be careful who you tell it to especially especially if it's your husband big way ooh honey. That's awesome. Thank you can take. I'm going to take with me work. Hey we're going to dinner talk because with my good friend bill. So mean Bill Joe. Were looking at velveteen liars. But as a Costa Rica and they still kind of like us the that like technology. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah in. The footnotes people can see a video video of it being demonstrated by someone because it's such an inexpensive way to basically take petri dish copy paste into another petri dish. People still do it at it costs very very little. Yeah that's amazing. They use it in molecular biology. Microbiology and genetic engineering has applications to all that. So she invented like a lot of today's science. It's really exciting really affordable and like smart way. That's a really funny. Brought up of like the men on stage trying to be like yes we're always using fabrics in the nineteen fifties American nineteen fifties man. And and what is it about fabrics. All right. Yeah name three velveteen and and Velva Tong Price. Yeah and then the other story we've got here with fabrics stuff is all about knitting and crocheting that people are doing right now to demonstrate extremely complicated mathematical shapes Sauce which is neat It turns out. That's the best way to do it. And mainly ladies and also a few men have been the ones to discovered that. That's the way to do it. So they are they making like as like a visual explainer of how something works like a tactile example. Yeah that's so cool and a a little bit Make a model of it also to figure out and just new elements of at and understand these. It turns out in advance math. There's a lot of like shapes that people bowl have come up with as a theory that don't totally exist. That are like mostly an idea but it wasn't really like happen in life living as the best way way to like build one as much as you can. Just yeah that makes sense that does make sense. Yeah and the pictures. The visuals are really cool to and this is the most visual thing in the show. So when he put you can go see it The most recent exciting one is In the late Nineteen Ninety S. There's a cornell. Math professor named Dana Tehmina and for over a century people have been trying to model a hyperbolic plane and hyperbolic plane is a surface where space ace curves away from itself at every point. That's very confusing. It's looks beautiful. Yeah and we've we've got a picture here and it's a thing where just every heart shape is moving away from itself and for over a century mathematicians had been wandering like. Is there something in nature that looks like this or can we like build it out of paper something thing and they didn't have a good way to do it. And then she figured out a way to Crochet using an algorithm and now we have models took over a century Zang. Yeah it's it's beautiful. It also account looks like my aunts. Pottery Yeah Yeah Right. This is Oetzi math and it it does feel like it's very exciting. Yeah it's a good team up. It's about time at the start of do math. Yeah it was always too easy things glued to other things. That wasn't fooled. You guys remember being in school and you're doing eh some kind of geometry class and so you're doing weird little models of stuff to prove the you understand or understand it better and it seems like this is the highly advanced version which is neat. But it's a version where it's like. This shape doesn't exist unless I admit it you know very cool right and then other shapes they do it with the oldest ones were in the late eighteen. Hundreds of Scottish chemistry professor named Alexander Crum Brown Model Klein bottles and Klein bottles are an infinitely thin mathematical surface. That's formed the inside side is contiguous with the outside. I know that all sounds like jargon and does make But it's it's a very. It's sort of a strange bottle. Where the top of it is also the bottom of it and they can knit it? Which is neat? Yeah smart people they also do it with Moebius strips which are a it's a mathematical mathematical surface that only has one side and there's all kinds of other shapes where people are getting together at these mathematician conferences and trading knitting and crochet patterns Saturn's that are the ways to make these crazy shapes make grandma was a quilter and she got really good at math discipline. Because like like and I. It's not something I always would think about of like. Oh I guess you would have to be extremely like be able to visualize a lot of geometric stuff and like be able to sort of do the Math in your head and yeah people. They know their math down. Underestimate them true. It seems like it's all making sequences right like stitch stitch stitch to and you and we've also got one mathematician here who claims that well. They don't claim it's true but they say that knitting is coding and yarn is programmable. That's Dr Elisabetta Matsue Moto who does a lot of this stuff. That's a really cool idea like program ones and Zeros. But with strings that's amazing the MIC after she said that makes you it to Silicon Valley. I'm a programmer to. Yeah if I was a person I and I came up with one of these things that would probably be the way to share it right. Like if you're the person you figured out Mayo is is nuclear fusion metal be like you a strap the Mayo or something charm. Only if it was a glass jar guaranteed everywhere deal with it. Yeah I would right what else. What do you do your coworkers? Take you out for cake or something. He's GonNa Cathartic moment. Yeah throw senator earned frigging earned. Why do I always fix your scientists celebrating over like a slice of cake crazy? I always think it's frosted. Yea Yeah like with. The frost never saw him cake. I don't know if you've ever thought about scientists celebrating before that's depressing. They have to celebrate plenty of stuff to sell a lot a lot of great things they save the world. My cousin does some does I couldn't tell you if she does. Science related things uh-huh and She her science friends friends. Get so drunk. Okay that's good yeah. They can't came to a show of my day. I went to did shows near where she lives and she said bring some people from work. I'm a gospel. It'd be boring and they were so I was like. Who are these player doctorates I'm like? Oh Oh my God yup they also have like plans like tonight. We party like we. Yes today we go out. We don't do this all the time once every two and a half weeks. Nothing is like it's until in the best way where it's like okay. The goal of the night it is to get as drunk as possible and scream yes exactly and then they're very efficient and they follow through every time. YEAH YEAH THEY PLAN AHEAD DOCTORATES yeah. It's good to remember that scientists are people too. They're like us and maybe that's also how they find some. All of this stuff is like some of these other like. Oh that's wacky enough. That maybe I would think of it. 'cause I'm I'm foolish by like they're they're also people so they're foolish to. Yeah uh I was just staring at Manny's today and head like you're just like what thirteen. Yes Soda folks that the episode for this week my thanks Jamie Loftus and Ayako Akatsuka forgetting very designee and SCIENC- with me. Today there were a lot of science stories in there and thank you for running with all kinds of amazing advanced concepts that that are worth knowing about and I think it's worth knowing that something like oh I don't know superglue or Mayo. The glue of food is useful for that kind of thing in our food it notes. You will find multiple fantastic cracked articles that supported this topic today special. Thanks there to Psychic Bo Mc Andrea Mino Kelly stone and Scott Stanton's cantons. Also I highly recommend the many footnotes we have in this show about knitting and crocheting mathematical concepts a moebius strip a Klein bottle other things. That are very hard to hold in. Your mind are relatively easy to knit. If you know what you're doing it's amazing and of all the stories we had today of that. One story story is highly visual. And so that's one to go look at if you have the time and the opportunity keepdriving or or whatever thing you need your eyes for if you're doing that but then when you're done check out some klein bottles and of course also check out the food notes to see more things from Jamie Loftus and obstacle Akatsuka again. Jamie's he's show boss whom is girl Had A hit run at the Edinburgh fringe and elsewhere and also her podcast that Bechtel cast is available everywhere and there will be live dates for those things linked in the footnotes and then AKATSUKA does stand up. All over. Jamie does too and obstacles podcast. Let's go out. SUCO is available anywhere you hear shows and does some live shows we will have links about that kind of information as well but enough of me saying the word links. Our theme Music is Chicago Falcon by the BUDO spanned. This episode was engineered by Jordan Duffy and edited by Chris. Sousa if you love this episode. That's great if you hate it let me know about it on social media. That's right social media a space where I love seeing objects do amazing things I. We'll have a couple find extra examples of that in the show notes. One of them is a youtube channel. Where people objects like cans of beef aronie in the path of lava flows just to see what will happen spoiler they blow up? The other is a channel called Missioun. Where a lady known as Miss? Yeah does like incredible elaborate cooking of platters and feasts and things using everyday items in an office. It's very very very fun and A real experience. So we've got that linked to I recommend it. You know what else I recommend my twitter account at Alex Schmidt. That's where you can follow me. You can also follow. Follow me on instagram. At Alex Schmidt Sta Graham and I'm on the wider Internet at my website. Alex Committee Dot Com. That's my show dates my email newsletter of free Internet stuff tips and so much more and hearsay. We will be back next week with more cracked podcast. Saha about that. Talk to them

Jamie Loftus scientist squarespace US Jamie Bechtel Mayo peat Moss Cotton Google Alex Schmidt Manny Avocado Akatsuka Mayo Glue Wisconsin twenty twenty Moss
12 Incredible Historical Artifacts That Somehow Still Exist

The Cracked Podcast

1:00:25 hr | 1 year ago

12 Incredible Historical Artifacts That Somehow Still Exist

"Many thanks to our friends at squarespace for their support in making this show happen the cracked podcast and they WANNA support you in setting a website up you. I'm sure you're doing something exciting or interesting or even. Just want to represent yourself in a basic internet way. squarespace is the best service and platform to set up your a new website with they make it easy to design your website. Get it online and keep it running smooth so head to squarespace dot com slash cracked for a free trial and when you're ready to launch I choose the offer code cracks to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey there folks welcome to another episode of the cracks podcast. The podcast all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt and I'm the head of podcasting here a cracked. I'm also noticed the clam also known as Schmidt e that champ and I am also also amazed that I get to talk to Andy Daily. He is our guest today Andy Daily. If you like comedy podcasting I think you know who he is. You know him from podcast. Comedy Bang Bang hang or his own Andy Daily podcast pilot project and appearances and characters on anymore also if you like comedy outside podcasting you know just in general. I you definitely know who Andy Daly is from his amazing work as forests McNeil on review you know like pancakes divorce pancakes alone incredible you also know him from key roles on everything everything from eastbound and down to the office to veep blackish modern family. Silicon Valley Adventure Time American Dad and more skipping because I need to breathe there we go he's he's the greatest and and he's also the spark to our episode today because the topic is amazing historical artifacts that somehow still exist one more time that is amazing historical artifacts that somehow still exist. We are digging into things. Modern people can see hear touch and visit that should not be possible civil to see hear touch and visit the certainly shouldn't be possible to eat and yet. That's going to happen a lot because one way being alive is more interesting than people think it is. Is that history alias tangible artifacts that just kind of stick around far beyond what you would think you will also get to hear audio of some of those artifacts today because the auditory ones are things as we can play for you so there's a lot of multimedia this one and I've wanted to get into these for a long while and I've been kind of looking for the right guests do it with and Andy is doing an exciting new podcast cast that I think is a perfect conceptual fit of the show is the great American cabinet of curiosities. You can hear it on stitcher premium and you'll hear what that is and what it's got to do with these. He's amazing old things in the episode and I think that's plenty of setup so please sit back or get up and go out and tell your friends that the one and only August lint from the travel. Oh Bug is on the craft pod this week very exciting either way. Here's this episode of the cracked podcast with Andy Daily. I'll be back after we up talk to you. Then I was curious what led you end the wanting to use the the cabinet of curiosities as a comedy conceit as a thing. Yes well it was. Sean Conroy came to me one day and he said that he he was trying to come up with some idea to make use of all of the things that he has hung onto over the years. I guess his home is full of memorabilia and conversation pieces and the one that really inspired him. The most was Shaun's grandfather was briefly the governor of New York. That's amazing. Yes when Rockefeller resigned to become Nixon's Vice President President Obama Grandfather Governor Wilson was the Lieutenant Governor of New York then became governor of New York and then lost in his first opportunity turning bureau elected he was not but during that time he went to the New York State Fair and met Oj Simpson and Sean Meadow J Simpson. You're just making stuff praising a word sal ETO. I'm GonNa tell you the whole story because it is included in the in the second episode of the Great American cabinet curiosities but basically Sean Conroy has an a photo with his grandfather. OJ Simpson that has autographed by O. J. Simpson that sits mantelpiece he's and is one of the many things in his home that he has stories about. He has long stories about so he had this idea that he's he's thinking everybody must have that thing that they've hung onto since it's childhood or from wherever they can talk entertainingly about eight or ten minutes and so we have just invited the funniest people in Los Angeles to come down and and bring that item and tell us about it and we've had wonderful submissions moon zappa brought her hairdryer which is usually bring but then then she explained. She's had this hair to this conair yellow bird hairdryer that weighs like eight pounds. She's had it since like the early eighties he's and it has helped her to get ready for every date every event like every part of every every moment of her life where she felt like she had to look any particular way stuff like that. Matt Besser brought a pipe that was part of his father's folk art collection that he when he became a pot smoker he desperately wanted to smoke pot out of this like several hundreds year old native American pipe and then and then he did and then he got busted so anyway yeah that was Shaun's idea and so we crafted the whole rest of the show around it I came up with the character who is an aristocrat he he is from a royal bloodline who has some connection to the cabinets of curiosity of Europe and is believed to be an arbiter of what is and is not a curiosity and so it's it's a bit of a contests the show yeah because also this original historical cabinet of curiosities the past couple hundred years especially very rich people like your character would would just collect stuff. Show it to people later. He didn't have an instagram so they did this instead right. I'm going to have a bunch of things I guess it started in the Fifteenth Fifteenth Century that that like Nobles and Aristocrats would go on travels and bring back off artifacts but also people people would go on travels on their behalf and bring them back where things and a very common thing for these cabinets was narwhal horns which would be found like on a beach and they would assume that this was a Unicorn Horn and so things like that would be on display in a room of castle and it's just like weird weird stuff yeah just gathering it to show a couple of people at a time China because we have this museum system now where everything's for the public but these guys were just like I just I just have part of a king's brain. Do you WanNa see uh-huh friends would come and look at it. Kings brain exactly because a lot of people wanted parts of it you couldn't you weren't going to get the whole Kings Brennan and then we're looking today inspired by that at these artifacts that are just around in the world can see an experience amazing thing yeah. Yes yes amazing bizarre artifacts. I enjoyed reading about them very much and a few of them are audio so we'll we'll hear him on the show today you you the listener get to hear some crazy old stuff and I don't know since this comedy podcast and everything why don't we do. We'll be old comedy records because these are this is a thing where Thomas Edison listen was the forerunner of like inventing everything and making money off everything so he did like the first comedy records on Wax Cylinders in the late eighteen hundreds so these are wax cylinders and he's invented this technology in a device to play them and trying to figure out what should I capture on wax cylinder and probably comedy routines was not the first thought I'm guessing. He started with an opera singer. I'm sure it was beautiful. Art of the musical kind I because also these cylinders I could only hold about two minutes of stuff and they would also sell for fifty cents which today is around fifteen dollars a sewer spending fifteen bucks on two minutes two minutes of content yeah Jake Yetlis Yeah podcasting better say and so so these were going out there and he like you said probably probably started with beautiful music awhile before he went. Why don't we put jokes on there yeah and folks you're about to hear this is an eighteen ninety nine mm-hmm joke on a comedy record that the National Park Service held onto it and you can just hear it but so this is a quick back and forth set a punchline joke from eighteen ninety nine seven go ahead and it. Can you tell me how to make a lean baby fat. Why no power to make a lean baby the fat story win and he'll come down all right? You're listening at home and you just made a pretty horrified face demented. He's correct. You get that at all I don't. I don't have any problem with throwing babies out the window. I just don't get the joke I think it's the and obviously the audio quality is not perfect because from eighteen ninety nine but I think the the punchline was that you can make a lean baby fat because has when it lands after you drop out of high place it goes plump on the ground and then plumpness as a word means fat. Oh they're guessing thing that the sound that the baby makes when he hits the sidewalk right is going to sound like plump Ray wow and then that that like Onomatopoeia is is like the word plump which means fat and so if you can so listeners if you WanNa take that word play journey that's that's what the joke being What does it mean. That joke was immortalized on a wax cylinder it either me that jokes. Were so bad at that time that this was one of the best ones available to be immortalized. Thomas Edison just had just had a horrible sense of humor like there might have been much better jokes out there to commit to wax. Oh all of those questions yeah yeah 'cause Edison. All the stories about him are being kind of about him being kind of an intense and grow. Guy Oh yeah and so maybe that's his humor or maybe comedy was not great then like you're only hearing jokes from people you know and books not all this mass media of comedians around around yet. I find an elephant didn't eat any famously. Electrifying elephant technology was dangerous. It's kind of of an urban legend but I believe they made money off of footage of it happening okay so so actually great if you think think about it. I'm not a monster. I didn't electrify the elephant. I just made a fortune selling the film footage of it happening. Edison's thing especially around the turn of the century was we've just invented audio and and also a lot of video that can be a thing you sell. Zell incredibly brief clips of stuff all right so they did that with elephants but also they had these these comedy records where you know. There's no way to know exactly what the first recorded joke was but this is one of the first things people were like get all the gear out. We gotta tape it like we gotta lay it down and there's an audience they're whistling and applauding. Applaud the joke. What's interesting. Is that the the only people actually laughing are the two performers. The audience is applauding the first example of laughter. It's so far back like I feel like comedy advances so fast and developed so fast that once you go even a few decades back. It's kind of kind of Alien Planet Yeah. I guess that's that's true. I remember hearing that. There's that woody. Allen stand up album where he's performing free like Greenwich village crowds in the sixties and their their reactions. I feel strange to me. He'll do one thing where the Punchline is the Warren report and like everybody goes crazy really in a way that feels very strange to me. Even I know that that's the report on JFK's assassination. Yeah it's weird yeah. Have you ever tried to listen to Lenny Bruce Album. It's it's just bewildering because he throws in lots of I guess their pop culture references at the time and I feel like I know some things about pop culture the sixties but I have no idea what he's talking about adults and eighteen ninety-nine pretty tough pretty weird and we do we do have one other much fresher recording from nineteen o four perfect yeah everyone will get it from a much longer longer recording where the whole thing to minute sketch of two characters in a car. That's all you need to know. Let's hear one thousand nine hundred four back back. Who told you my letter that pickens that was the fault better told taste better a variety the white noise events anybody commit a murder at automobile yeah well so it's just it's just the passenger reacting to the driver running a bunch of stuff over do bits. Wow that's it. It was very very derek at the turn of the century yeah or the last century that is dark. It's really messed up but that one functions for me better as a joke like this guy is killing lots of people and the other guy says to him. This is murder and he goes no it prevents murder. How can you kill somebody after I've run over you with a car. That's yeah that it works. It works as a joke that it fits together. Yeah it is weird that like some of the math is still the same you know what I mean after all these years like the structural textural elements or construction of joke functions just fine and this one thousand nine hundred four. This must have been a very early car so this was probably like Ah. This was a hot topic. How safe cars were it's like oh. The kids are all in their phones and get over there looking at their phone too much but for a one hundred written fifteen years ago had a good sound effect in there to the car sort of you know yeah impressed with this l. good in the chicken was like a little earsplitting good. He was hard to understand the first guy the old timer yes so also he had some kind of accent accent and I have listened to the whole record which is like two minutes a couple of times and I don't know why he has an accent. I think they just found it found that he had sent bill sure but you don't need a reason to have an the exit and they were putting these out and selling them and it's a weird thing where we can hear comedy from a time that before I read about this. I don't think think I knew that we had recordings of at all yeah. I guess the people were were making jokes. In nineteen thousand four there was too much work to do you gotta get milk. The cows and you've got to write. I imagine them all either farming or just operating some big lever and they I don't know if the lever does but you have to go down to the river to wash your shirt jokes and then there's also a few things here and this from article called six hundred effects that let you directly experienced the past by Justin Crockett and Ivan Farkas. There's a couple of situations where there are food and other things from in the past that are just preserved and we just had them and one of them is there was a steamboat that sank in eighteen fifty six. That's not a food I just just to make it clear for please. Don't try this out. Cut this out. the steamboat it was steamboat called the Arabia and it sank sank in eighteen fifty six on the Missouri River. They were shipping things to farmers up the river and then the wreckage was kind of swept away and on the river diverted and long story short the wreckage ended up just buried underground in a completely like oxygen free environment nothing KS and nothing spoils and and the whole boat uh-huh yeah the whole thing wow and so now there's an entire museum and Kansas City of everything that they pulled out of this rick wow and a lot of it is like preserved edible food so if you want to eat stuff from right before the civil war you can do it. You can set it up. What kinds of foodstuffs did they find in there. The the the main one is pickles pickles were jarred and so they were digging it up and they were like oh we're curious whether someone could eat this or not and then one of the people just eight one really just went for what happened they were fine really came out fine. I am I at the guy in my house was constantly saying this is a month past the expiration day a gone. My wife is always like you know you can blow past the expiration date by a bunch and it drives you crazy right yeah because I I just love to get rid of anything to get rid of anything. That's in her house. Just the day that the expiration date passing we can throw it out. Nobody wanted in a a year and a half but anyway. This weakens my argument by a lot that a jarred pickle from eighteen fifty six tasted fine. Yeah I guess S. I'm wrong to because yeah it just went find somehow and you wouldn't think it would last that long in young you. I wish I would never be the guy that tried tried that pickle because they were also they were taking up preserved guns and beaver hats like the first still fine and all and old kitchen utensils and things and all worked it was all preserved ah just like a time capsule of that era and and some of it was a time capsule of what they ate great yeah. Wow you know nobody wears bieber TAT's right now yeah yeah anyway. That's GonNa get me. A gift famously played Benjamin Franklin on the stage of the office yeah yeah right so he would have interested. Thank you and then there's also another story here. This is about slightly earlier than that rack. This was a shipwreck in the Baltic Sea and a team from the University of Ryan's in France. DOC It up and found one hundred sixty eight champagne bottles. Oh my goodness and they I guess the bottles just kind of did find down there in the in the wreckage down in the Baltic Sea see and so they drank some of it and they said that it was they were describing in a few ways one descriptive was fabulous and they said it was a lot sweeter than modern vintages you just champagne and the scientists said it had flavors of leather and tobacco that state highs Palette for two or three hours so it doesn't actually sound good to me. It was is probably a fucked up. Yeah what I've toasting champagne. Hope it for leather. I want the wittiest flavors I can get. You tastes like leather doesn't make any sense to me yeah because it's probably the sinking was in eighteen forty five campaigns usually at least a little bit old. Yes yes so. This is very very very old cherry old champagne but that makes me wonder if we're making it wrong today. You know when you know what I mean like. It's it tastes like sweet leather tobacco. Oh yeah yeah away from what made it great the proper so we're long the line lost the magic magic of leather because obviously the older a bottle of wine is right the more more expensive generally right but which you've crossed the line and nobody wants this anymore not going to be any good. I don't know we'll link think about it in the footnotes. I'm I'm pretty sure there is a turning point where it just is too old and too weird especially if it hasn't been kept in a cellar. It's just been a weird shipwreck. It's it's probably it's probably not what it's designed to do as a c