20 Episode results for "Adrianna"

160: Valerian Essential Oil

The Essential Oil Revolution

19:47 min | 2 years ago

160: Valerian Essential Oil

"The pursuit even of the best. Things ought to be calm entering quill, Marcus tilles Cicero empowerment in education too powerful elements that will help you break free of convention, transform your passion for wellness to a level beyond the status quo the essential oil revolution. Where you give them the tools to superseded ordinary everyday lifestyle. Inspiring speakers DIY recipes healthy living tips and more jolt discovered all here, so tune it and get ready for a wellness revolution. Hey, everyone. Welcome to this show. I am Samantha Lee. Right. You're listening to today's episode all about Valerian essential oil. It's going to be a fun short. And sweet episode. You'll get to hear a story of me back in may hippy days annual the deer from a good friend of mine. Andrea stamper who is a part of our oil leak humanity. I hope you enjoy learning all about this. Awesome oil. But I as always let's pull the recipe out of our DIY dugout. Today's DIY out recipe comes from Christina Dietrich at oils and ovaries dot com. The recipe is for a tranquility pillow spray to make the tranquillity pillow spray, you'll need fifteen drops of lavender fifteen drops, cedar. Wood one tablespoon of which Hazel water in a spray bottle combine your oils and water in which Hazel in a spray bottle in missed over your pillow before bed. I think you guys are going to love that recipe. Thank you so much Christina Dietrich against he's at oils and ovaries dot com. If he'd like to have your recipe red on the show you can Email us at DIY at revolution oils, podcasts dot com. All right. I'm here. With Adriana stamper. Who is a fast paced, mama, always moving hardly sleeping. She is always there for her friends and family and her wiener dog. She has two kiddos and is married to her high school sweetheart still going strong. She always works to bring positive vibes to those around her. I personally have worked with Adriana in our oil community for a while now, and she's one of my favorite people. She's she's that kind of chick that just shows up. You know, you can count on her. She brings the energy. She brings the fund. She brings the passion. Welcome to the show Adrianna. How are you? Thank you. I'm doing good. I'm glad you could come on the show with us today. We're gonna talk all about Bulgarian essential oil, which is really interesting oil. Let's try to describe Valeria for people who have never smelt Valerian or experienced it. How would you describe malaria oil? I would think it's a very. Grounding earthy smell. I didn't much care for it at first very fish, MA smelled it. But after using it in having it around my family more often now, it's grown on me. Yeah. As my mom would say she were to smell Valerian. She would probably go. Oh, that's pungent. Dear please, don't defuse that in the house. Yeah. That's my husband. We when we first got it. We started defusing it. And we're like, oh my gosh. No. Definitely not bottom of the not not here there. He the by feet oil. Yeah. It's interesting. My first experience with the Larrea was thinking I was like twenty one or twenty two years old. And I was travelling in Oregon with my boyfriend at the time now, my husband, and we were staying with Bs like hippies out in the middle of the woods doing like, let's hippie fun things. And I got poison oak like all over my body. I was so miserable. I just didn't ever want to come out, my tend I just wanted to cry on day and one of the people we were staying within this community had some Valerian. I don't even remember if it was Blair in essential oil, or if it was like, a Bulgarian tincture, I wanna say it was a tincture, and he was like here like, you know, take this. You can take this to go to bed and side put it I think it was the tincture because I'd put it. Her my ton and it completely. It was like a tranquilizer for me. I was able to get past the like horrible itchy paid. And it just calmed everything down. It was the only thing that helped me go to sleep. So that was my introduction to Valerian. And then I didn't really use it again for a long time until I started getting more distance oils and found out that it became available as an essential oil. Then I started putting it in a lot of my sleep blends and things, and it's just it is a strong smelling oil. But dude it works. It's awesome. That's my thing. I always tell people when they open a bottle of oil, and they felt like smells really bad on my first of all your body, probably need it. And second of all we're not doing it for the smell or doing it for the purpose of what it does for our body. So if you don't like the smell of the thing put things out on your feet, and then after a couple of times using it the smell of it changes to you, which I have noticed a lot in Valerian one of those ones that. I've seen a difference in that with so Adriana before we go into some of the common uses of Valerian oil. Are there any safety concerns that we should be aware of Ireland say mainly just make your watching? How you dilute it? That's when it comes to like kids, for example, you'd wanna make sure that you're deluding it for ages zero to one you do one drop of your central oil to eight to ten drops of your carrier oil for each of the ages up. It goes on from there. You can dilute it less with your carrier in a have a little bit extra that otherwise use it cautiously. I mean, that's sort of our stick here on the show is like use commonsense in you be the judge, you know, just because one person's kid maybe can't do Valeria doesn't mean yours necessarily. You're gonna be the judge to that. So there are some conservative oil users out there who will say don't use any Valerian on any child. No matter what. And then you know, you've got people who are using Bulgarian on there. Children who may suffer from seizures or epilepsy. Or like all these things in they can use them on their children in have great results. In n it's better than, you know, taking alternative drugs or something that's going to give their kids a lot of negative reactions to so bottom line guys, you be the judge, but do know that this is one of those oils that are in the sort of us cautiously category in go from there. I do on my four year old. I have a sleep one that for him. I put on about him feet actually, use it on my daughter as well. So like, you said your own caution, irate. So I think we've already listed some of the common uses for for this oil. But in all the research that you did and ways that you use it with your family. What would you say are some of the common ways people are using this oil from I think you kind of federal earlier with a kind of like a tranquilizing tranquilizing property so any type of sleep of court. That's what my family. Mainly before for while. He was in research on it found that there's lots of other ways the disease for which I am actually super excited. Trying some of them you'll kind of find that when you start to dig deeper into a different oil or new oil that you can be massively surprised by it for me. I didn't realize that it's amazing for like head tension. That's something. I'll definitely on as like es at a fast mom that hardly sleeps. I'm super excited for that. One. Also, really amazing healthy skin in better. But excuse me, blood flow, and then the other one I'm super excited for is. A did not realize that it is super awesome to support PMS. It's mainly helps towards your nervous system in calming way. While your nervous system is responsible for so many things admits sort of everything starts in the nervous system pretty much in. So having oil that can really specifically support a healthy nervous system. I think is something. We don't talk a lot about. In the health world. Really? But it affects everyone I'd say if your nervous system is at a whack like you're gonna feel it. So let's take a short break in thank our sponsors. But then I wanna come back and dig even deeper into Valerian a central oil. So I don't know if you guys have heard this story of mine before when I was about nineteen twenty years old. I learned meditation for the first time at a ten day meditation retreat, and then about a couple years later. I went back and stayed on the monastery for one month straight. I kind of lived as among frontier month of silence meditating ten to fourteen hours a day. And it was this amazingly important experience in my life. I think I don't really know what would have happened. If I hadn't had that experience. I used to suffer from extreme depression, anxiety, and meditation was what pulled me out of it. And it really changed my life for the better. I'm always so so grateful that I had that experience. Now that I have kids I have three businesses that I run I definitely don't take the time to meditate. I used to and it's I can feel the difference. My calm. My mindfulness has really diminished since I've gotten so busy. So that's why I'm so in love with art news sponsors this week head space. Head space is your guide to health and happiness. In fact, just ten days of head space has been proven to reduce stress and increase happiness. It will teach you the life changing skills of meditation and mindfulness in just a few minutes a day for those not familiar with meditation. It's rooted in tradition, of course, people have been meditating for a very long time. But it's also backed by scientific research people who use head space for ten days or more are proven to increase their happiness by five percent, reduce their irritability by twenty seven percent and reduce stress by fourteen percent. They have hundreds of meditation sessions on everything from stress to sleep. There are SOS exercises for meltdown moments and many meditations per. Per busy days. They'll be guided every step of the way by head space co founder, Andy poodle comb who spent ten years training as a monk, and there's guided exercises that help you add a touch of mindfulness to daily activities like cooking, commuting eating and more. Start your journey towards a healthier happier. Life by subscribing to head space. Sign up online at a head space dot com slash revolution. For a free one-month trial and start meditating today. And supports a sweet comes from our friends at Lola my favorite female founded company, they offer a line of organic cotton tampons pads liners and all natural cleansing wipes. What I love about Lola is they offered complete transparency about the ingredients that are found in their products. Major brands use a mix of synthetic ingredients in their products like rayon polyester fragrances harsh cleansing agents. And thanks dies. Like on an on the list of crap you guys that can be found in tampons pads and all those things it's just disgusting. You don't want that stuff in your body? You don't want that stuff in your home? And you don't want to be supporting companies that don't care about what they're putting in their product would Lola. You don't have to worry about any of that. Their products are one hundred percent organic cotton with no added chemicals. Fragrances synthetics or dies, and they make your life so much easier. By allowing you to make fully customize subscriptions in the even send you a reminder few days out. So that if you need to change up your order or skip that month, it's super easy to do low and now offers cleansing wives that are safe to use anywhere on the body there. The first biodegradable all natural wipe of their kind perfect for a mid date. Refresh individually package and perfect for on the go for forty percent off all subscriptions. Visit my Lola dot com and enter promo code revolution. When use of scribe that's forty percent off all subscriptions at my Lola dot com. Promo code revolution. And we're back with Adriana stamper. Talking about Bulgarian essential oil. So let's talk about the different ways that you can use Bulgarian oil like painted picture for us of you know, how do you apply where win all that stuff? Okay. For me. The very persuaded use Valerian since oil was in what I call a smush shave people. And if but my aunt Brennan, I when we were at convention is last year, I brought this one with me, and it was thirty drops of Valerian ten drops of cedar wood tender ups of lavender. And I just put it in a roller topped it off with the carrier. Oil embroiled it down to convention and before bed every night. We all stuck feet in the air, and I would come down enroll everybody's feet with this at the time. We didn't call us machine. People end. I just told her what within it. And while you're there, I had smelled it. And I'm like, oh my gosh. The snowflakes mushy peas, so I had her smell it in from now on now. That's our smart people. And so that is how we use it for us and for our kids in it use it. So it's pretty awesome. But yeah, so we use it in the role or I personally don't defuse it just because it's not a very attractive smell if you're trying to sleep. I feel like it'd be little distracting. Yeah. It's awesome. To learn that it can support head tension now. So I'm gonna definitely be throwing that in my head tension blend. So that's pretty awesome. And then I'm probably going to put it into my PMS blend. The by us with dragon time and put over my abdomen. That will probably be awesome ways to use it to support your body. Cool. Thanks for sharing those ways that you can use Valerian, and I know that this might be kind of using it off label, or this might not be the most FDA complaint thing to say that I know a lot of people will put that Lille in caps. Title intake it internally as well. Allan that's pretty common use for it. So what are some of the historical uses of Bulgarian the plant now not talking about the essential oil here, but just the plant tell us a little about the history of it or ways that you might have seen it used in the past France's were the main origin of the plant was from. But it was also used all back in ancient times in Greece in Rome as well native -scribed it back, then as being remedy for insomnia, which would make a lot of sense for being you know, like sedate of in calming Monday would put it at least to prescribe it back then for t- for sick women back in the day, the plants would cause like animals to be attracted to it. So they would take like Valerian in put it in the lake to get all of the rats to come to drown back in. The day to get him out of the city. Interesting. Right. Isn't this crazy? And then I also I know that when in our little early group when Valerian came back to young vein Ariza story, someone said that I guess it drew all of the their dear to it in the deer ate it all gone there were trying to grow. It was like something that animals really take two and even back, then obviously right is pretty cool. Trust the rebels. They're smart you guys. Yes. Definitely back in the day in like England and Scotland they would say that never would they make broth reporters didn't have Valerian in it just because it was really awesome to support your body with. It was almost like it wasn't worth having porridge or soup without it into c. Yeah. I can't imagine how that would taste. But you know, back in the day. I didn't really care what things tasted like so much. You just wanted to like survive pasture. Thirty exactly exactly we'll think so. Much for coming on Adriana now before you go we like to ask you, the us closing questions in the first is just share with us a little about your daily health habits that see I always start my day with coffee. Necessarily the best thing to do. But I don't sleep very much so coffees might go to will. You're a night shift worker, right? I am I work nights on my husband works my day shifts. So I'm up with the kids before work and get a lot of sleep. So I try to support my body in any way that I can Ningxia red eylau there myself up every day if you could pick one thing that you feel like everyone should ditch completely in replace with something healthier today. What would it be? I'm gonna say your shampoo and conditioner who could win that something that I didn't realize how crazy the additives and stuff that are in shampoos and stuff that you can buy in the store, and it really freaked me out to look into it. And turn figure out why my hair was always in such bad shape. A now like I switched over to the COPA. Eva vanilla three young living in. I will never go back. That's like Miami. It supports my body in more ways than just my hair. And I love that. That's the same shampoo and conditioner. I use. Heck? Yeah. Well, that's a good one. Thanks for sharing by it. Really is amazing. How many chemicals in synthetics and things are in modern shampoo and conditioner. You know, it's in the hevea can wreak on your hair and your immune system. Like, it might be affecting you more than you think. So always helps to link ingredient labels in. Yeah. Try to order from a company that you know, is not putting those additives in there are right. Well, how can people get in touch with you? Or learn more about you in the Maseko by I have a Facebook and Instagram. I'm pretty consistent on their aching. Just look me up by Audrey on a stamfor- on Instagram Audrey on underscore stamper. But pretty easy to find me Kuku will put that in the show notes for sure Adriana. Thanks so much for coming on. I love your enthusiasm in your passion for Sherry to central oils with everyone. So thanks for coming on the show. We appreciate it. Awesome. Thanks for having me. That's it for today. We'll catch you. Again next week. If you wanna get episodes downloaded to your phone while you sleep don't forget to subscribe to the podcast whether that'd be apple podcasts. Stitcher wherever you get your podcast, it that subscribe button. And don't forget to check out our sponsors for the show. This is how we keep the show going every week revolution oils, podcasts dot com slash sponsors is where to find a list of all of our sponsors. If you're looking to connect with some awesome companies out there and support the show at the same time. Thanks so much folks as always keep on learning keep on discovery and most importantly, keep on treating yourself. Well, you are worth it.

Adriana stamper Valerian Valeria Christina Dietrich Andrea stamper Hazel Samantha Lee Ireland Facebook Sherry Adrianna FDA Lola MA Blair Oregon France Audrey
Why Many Guatemalans Are Leaving Their Home For The U.S.

On Point with Tom Ashbrook | Podcasts

47:59 min | 2 years ago

Why Many Guatemalans Are Leaving Their Home For The U.S.

"This message comes from on points sponsor, indeed, if you're hiring with indeed you can post a job in minutes, set up screener questions then zero in on your shortlist of qualified candidates using an online dashboard get started at indeed dot com slash NPR podcast. From WB. You are Boston and NPR. I'm Meghna Chalker bardy, and this is on point the system is at full capacity. That's according to border patrol agents, speaking recently about immigration at the US, Mexico border in February record sixty six thousand migrants tried to cross or requested asylum at the southern border the highest total for a single month in almost a decade now in years past the majority of migrants crossing the border were single men from Mexico, but now it's entirely flipped. The majority of migrants are Central American families, especially from Guatemala this hour on point why families are fleeing Guatemala in record numbers. And what to do about it? And you can join us. What responsibility does the US have to Guatemala if any and if the US becomes more active or Mercer more supportive in Guatemala could that help stem the tide of migrants coming to the US southern border? What should the Guatemalan government be doing for its own citizens? Join us anytime on radio dot org or Twitter and Facebook ad on point radio. We are going to spend the majority of this hour talking about the situation on the ground in Guatemala, but we wanna I start in Washington with congresswoman Loren Underwood. She's a democrat representing illinois's fourteenth congressional district. She also served on the house committee on homeland security and last week the committee questioned homeland security secretary Christian Nielsen about family separation at the border, and here's part of an exchange between Representative Underwood and secretary Nielsen were you aware that the trauma of family separation is connected to something called 'toxic stress. I'm not familiar with that term. No, okay. Were you aware that toxic stress can actually change a child's brain? Because it's still developing. I wasn't familiar with the term and Representative Underwood joins us now from Washington, welcome to one point I Magna. So first of all have you heard of from secretary Nielsen since last week's committee hearing about whether DHS is taking psychological effects into account when they separate parents and children has their stance changed on this since last week. I haven't received any follow up. But I think it's pretty clear that they had not heeded the advice of experts like the American Academy of pediatrics who reached out in early days of that family separation policy implementation. Okay. So what's your response to reporting? We've seen recently that families and children are still being separated at the border. Now DHS says it's because of some of these parents may have prior criminal records, which requires the separation of families and children between know, how many and and how how long this is going to go on for, you know, I think it's unacceptable. We heard secretary Nielsen. Deny that a family separation policy formerly existed. She refused to offer us exact figures on the number of children being held in detention. She didn't know the numbers was not able to offer any specifics. And so we receive news reports every day that that demonstrate that this is continuing on. We know it's likely thousands of children being impacted and in order for the committee to be able to do. It's very important oversight work, we need candor. And we need a cooperation from the department of homeland security. The New York Times is reporting that. According to records, they reviewed that officially since last June. There's more than two hundred children who may have been separated from their families. But you're saying it could be thousands. I mean, how do we what's the real number? That's what we would like to know, and is not complying giving you numbers that crack, and they said why not well, we didn't hear a very strong rationale from secretary Nielsen last week. She promised to follow up. I'm eager to receive that information. We'll in your line of questioning with the secretary last week as you just mentioned again here. The American Academy pediatrics has written to the department of homeland security some six times to explain how family separation hurts children and US secretary Nielsen whether she was aware of those warnings, and here's part of her response. I am which is why continued assets committee to work with me. So that parents do not separate their children. There are sixty thousand last year that was separated by their parents. You're talking about two thousand children that resulted from there. Choosing to break the law, which is why I've continually us parents to go to a port of entry. So Representative Underwood that's secretary Nielsen. They're saying that the problem is parents deciding to bring their children to the border. What's your response to that? Well, I think that we are very clearly in the middle of a of a humanitarian crisis where number of individuals from many countries are seeking asylum in the United States. We have a responsibility to offer those individuals who present themselves at the border seeking asylum and with humanitarian treatment meeting recognizing the humanity in these individuals, making sure they have access to food and medical care. We saw two young children die at the end of last year because they did not get the needed medical treatment. And that is that is our obligation as the United States government. Now, it is very clear that the department of homeland security perhaps doesn't share those values, but it is reflected in current US policy that that is how folks should be treated. And so it is our. Job as the homeland security committee to make sure that the department is complying with those policies. We'll talk a little bit more about what the committee itself can do in its functioning as the as a body of oversight over DHS here because you know, as you know, customs and border protection is saying that this enormous spike in families that they're seeing in recent months appearing at the border is overwhelming the system at the border. So what specifically can the house committee do to alleviate the urgent situation now? Well, we can do many things, you know, as we get the information about the volume, right? The number of individuals that were talking about we can't certainly make more financial resources available for additional officers throughout the testimony secretary. Nielsen was unwilling to aknowledge the number of vacancies that the US customs and border patrol has. And we have authorized funding for a number of new officers. You may recall during the recent appropriations that were. Past when the government reopen. We approve funding for additional judges to prosecute them to process the number of individuals seeking asylum at the border, right? We know that we did not have enough judges to move through those cases quickly, right? We are willing to provide the resources needed. But we just need the information in order to respond accordingly. And so this is both about authorizing programs appropriating resources and providing oversight as delineated in article one of the constitution. So you saying that you need more formation about what DHS believes it needs. Because we we know how many people are crossing the border at read that number at the beginning of the conversation that in a month lonely at sixty six thousand this huge, spike, right? But I'm saying during the conversation with secretary Nielsen came in. She was unable to provide information about the number children currently in custody, the the volume of drugs crossing the border, right? She was not prepared to provide the committee with the detailed information. She did. Not know the number of bacon sees in these incredibly necessary officers to secure the border, and we as the committee a need that type of information to be able to approve the resources and support the department and the important work that they do and just curious in terms of how the sausage works sausages made in Washington, so how can you impress upon the secretary to deliver that information will you be asking her to testify again before the committee, would certainly we will be providing additional written questions for her to respond to. And there are variety of tool letters to all the way up to subpoenas that are within our jurisdiction that we could employ in order to obtain the information that's required. However, I hope that we were able to work in a collaborative partnership way in order to do this really important work. And finally last question Representative Underwood if I may as, you know, President Trump is submitting twenty twenty budget. Puzzle. And in it as we're hearing today, there's a request for more than eight billion dollars for a border wall in that budget proposal, and of course, Democrats oppose the wall entirely are we headed for another showdown here. Well, you know, what I think that this is an interesting dynamic, right? We saw the US house of representatives in a bipartisan way pass a resolution that is in response to the president's emergency declaration that happened at the end of February just last week. When secretary Nielsen came to testify before our committee, she identified cybersecurity as a greater threat to the our national security than border security. She said it herself. And now we have the president again trying to circumvent the Congress's role again as appropriators by requesting even larger sums of money for a wasteful and inefficient border wall. And so I don't know what the president is hoping to accomplish with this request. However, you know. We will continue to do our work to make sure the US seven border is appropriately protected, and that the American people can rest assured about the safety and security of the United States will Representative learn Underwood represents a illinois's fourteenth congressional district. She's a democrat and she also serves on the house committee on homeland security Representative Underwood. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for having me. Well, let's hear a little bit of from a veteran border agents who knows the situation on the ground regarding families at the US southern border right now, you're going to hear a little bit of tape from many Padilla here. He's a director of the joint task force west part of the homeland security department in San Antonio. He spoke with NPR's John Burnett last week and said the growing number of migrants is overwhelming his agents. They're preoccupied with medical care feeding and processing families padeas says instead of border security the entire system right now is that full capacity, actually, overwhelmed everything. Is maxed out and it's causing a lot of issues because the agents are being assigned to areas that are not border security related. That's Manny Padilla director of joint task force west part of the homeland security department in San Antonio joining us now is Angela co-chair. She's joining us from El Paso, Texas. She's border correspondent for the Albuquerque journal, and she's been reporting from both the US Mexico border and quantum Malla as well. We have links to her reporting on point radio dot org. Angela welcome to the program. Hi, thanks for having me. So we've got a minute to go before we take our first quick break here. But let me start ngelo by asking you. What have you been seeing in the past several weeks and months at the border regarding this huge surge of families trying to trying to enter how bad is the situation. We're seeing hundreds of migrant families parents with young children arriving at the border daily looking for border patrol agents to turn themselves in. They're not sneaking in they are looking for people to turn themselves in. And agents or are spending their days, picking up large groups of hundreds of people and shuttling them back to processing centers to start the asylum process because the vast majority of people are coming asking for asylum fleeing Central America, and we've seen a very large number of what a Mollins is just this past year. We're going to spend the rest of the hour talking about the situation regarding Mullen families in particular, but Angela Cuccia standby for just a moment. We are talking about the huge surge of the number of families seeking asylum and trying to cross the southern border in the United States, particularly from Guatemala. We'll be right back. This is on point. This message comes from sponsor indeed when it comes to hiring. You don't have time to waste you need help. Getting to your shortlist of qualified candidates fast with indeed toasted job in minutes. Set up screener questions then zero in on qualified candidates. And when you need to hire fast, accelerate your results with sponsored jobs. New users can try for free when you sign up at indeed dot com slash NPR, podcast, terms, conditions, and quality standards apply. I'm Jane Ho-san and this week unlucky. No USA wisdom into one all female immigrant detention facility in Texas and a specific case to ask how and why this system allows for sexual abuse of detainees to continue year after year. That's this week on nothing USA. This is on point Meghna, Junker birdie. We're talking about the spike in the number of migrant families trying to enter the United States and request asylum. A record sixty six thousand migrants total in February alone requested asylum. The majority of them Central American families, particularly from Guatemala or exploring what's happening watt. Amal that's driving. This surge. We should say though, broadly speaking my the number of migrants trying to cross the US border now is still much lower than it was say in the early two thousands ngelo coach Arrigo is with us. She's a border correspondent for the Albuquerque journal with us today from El Paso, Texas. An Angela before the break you were telling us about how hundreds of these families are being picked up by customs and border protection almost on a daily basis. Now, what about you know, where they're being taken and the facilities and the immigration courts needed to process them doing do we know where these families are being held well their health temporarily in border patrol facilities that were not. Designed for families, especially families with small children, so people crowded in together, and until they can be processed. And then for the most part if it's apparent with child released with an ankle monitor within an toll to appear in immigration court, the best majority of people are seeking asylum. So they will start that long process that can last years, we have a really long backlog in the immigration court system and people have relatives and friends here. So they go off to other cities. They normally don't stay on the border and wait for their hearings. In the meantime, start lives here, and and often raise the money that they need to take back home. Even if they are denied asylum, which the vast majority seemed to to be these days be denied asylum. You say okay, though, sober we're going to really take a close look about the situation in Guatemala right now. But this one thing I'm wondering if if you've heard or observed in your reporting because how many of these families are coming saying that they have been told that if they bring their children they're much less likely to to be. Reported that seems to be something. I don't know if it's a room or something that smugglers are telling you how how many families are saying that. Well, I didn't want them on a few weeks ago exploring the this kind of mass exodus for seeing not just from areas that traditionally have had migration, of course, you have real reasons people leave grinding poverty, gang violence, sometimes government corruption. But almost everyone knows now that if you bring a child along with you that is your way time your ticket out of being in detention and smugglers are promoting this they are encouraging people, and they are kind of whipping people up into a frenzy say now is the time by now we're going to miss your opportunity, and there's a real concern because you hear a lot of rhetoric coming out of the Trump administration people feel it was told that the border is going to be closed down a lot of families. And so they're making a rush up. They're hoping they don't miss their chance. And of course, smugly organizations are profiting from this fear. Well, ngelo couture border correspondent for the. Albuquerque journal she's been reporting from both the US Mexico border and from Guatemala as she said, we've got links to her reporting on point radio dot org. Angela thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you. All right. Well, let's turn now to to people who also know about the situation on the ground in Guatemala at the moment. Joining us now from city Iowa is Luis Argueta he's with us via Skype today. He's Guatemalan American film maker and producer. He directed a film series on immigration which included abused. The post Ville raid Abrazos and the u-turn and he's currently at work on a new film that will look at the lasting effects of family separation. Louis get a welcome to on point may. Hi may Magna. It's great to be here. Also with us today from Washington is Andrea Bill Tron, she's director of the Washington office of Latin America's citizen security program. The Washington office is a non-governmental organization that advocates for human rights in the Americas, adrenaline BELTRAN, welcome to you. Hi magnum. So can I just start with you know, what would you say are the major drivers of what seems to be a sudden serious spike in the number of families from Guatemala who who are leaving. I'm seeing up to ninety percent of the families right now who are trying to cross the US border. Maybe from just quantum all alone. I would say there are a range of factors that are driving migration from the region, but from Guatemala, one was noted as the high rates of insecurity and violence. So yes, you do see a decrease in the overall national homicide rate, but there's other forms of violence that families another Guatemalans experience, particularly in marginalized communities. This includes issues of gang violence, where gangs, try to gain territorial control of communities and pretty much set the rules of of the game, you have high rates of extortion. That tend to affect, you know, small businesses a taxi drivers transportation, you have extremely high rates of violence against women in the case of Watambwa and many of these migrants ending communities are also located around the drug traffic in corridor. Okay. In a lot of these communities on there is a lack of state presence. So criminal groups in again. Tend to gain control of of a lot of these of these areas. Okay. So Lewis jump in here. What what do you think are those major drivers the drivers are the same? But we also should look, and I totally agree with with the drama, but we should keep in mind. A few other things what is attracting people, and that is jobs and networks family and friends networks as well. As this very clear information go now, it's a lot cheaper. If you go with a child, and you better take advantage of this offer now because they make lows the border anytime. So when you say lot cheaper, if you go to child are you talking about like the cost that they have to pay smugglers? I don't understand Louis. Yes. I have been actually following a gentleman and his thirteen year old daughter who left what a off on the thirteenth of February. If he had come by. Himself. It would cost him. Almost twelve thousand dollars eleven thousand six hundred because he came with an under a child it costs him six thousand for both of them. So this is a, you know, a very sad recent to come, but it is an important one. Okay. So let's explore this a little bit more data. I mean, it sounds a racing here that in part because of how the situation on the border has been handled over the past year or so that are smugglers basically trying to they're just trying to deepen the racket right now and saying we're going to reduce the what we charged you you as a family to to smoke to bring you to the US border. Is that part of what what's driving this souther? Sudden spike. I mean, I would say again, you know, there are many drivers summer pull factors some are push factors. Yes. You know, you do have smugglers that pray and they're taking advantage of of the needs of migrants. And the fact that you have, you know, many families that are in dire sich. Relations because of violence because of poverty because of you know, losing their livelihoods in, you know, in a country where the, you know, the government has been unable or unwilling to address those needs. And so they take advantage. There's also, you know points to the issue of corruption, and the fact that you have, you know, systemic corruption in these countries in the case of Guatemala, but also the corruption that you see, you know, along the along the journey and how smugglers, you know, through corruption are able to traffic individuals, you know, through these countries, but Lewis told me a little bit more about a about the the what smugglers are doing and saying because I, you know, even six thousand dollars, though, it can still be many many times what a Guatemalan makes in a year. So how are they able to come up with the money so quickly if I made all go back a little bit of throw touching on something that ran a mentioned, you know, my my mantras always been followed them. Money who's making money out of this question. And I have coined a phrase migrants as merchandise and everybody is making money off migrants. And when we talk about smugglers, we're not talking about a lonely royalty. We're talking about representatives of a major network that touches everybody in government of nationally locally across the border, all through Mexico. And you know, who knows how far it goes. But just a year ago. A major RB official was arrested in Kazakhstan angle because he was laundering the money for gangs. You know, so the Koto is making a profit, but he's not keeping all of the money. So that's one thing. Yes. Six thousand dollars a lot of money. But if you have a motorcycle that you can sell if you have a piece of land that you can mortgage. And if you have a coated will lend you money for fifty percent of the cost at five percent the month. That's how you raise the money. Okay. So let's broaden the scope of our analysis here for a moment Edry on as you probably know customs and border protection put out a report recently saying that the highest percentage of family migrants from Guatemala, maybe from just one or two Guatemalan departments or regions, and that these are traditional mountain villages that have very high mount nutrition rates, high levels of food, insecurity. And so see C B P is saying that you know, that they're saying that current migration flows are complex. This is a quote from from the head the complex regional phenomenon require multifaceted response. But that this food insecurity might be a major issue. Here. What do you think about that? I do think, you know, one of the drivers of migration is poverty, and and inequality, and with that, you know, the high rates of of malnutrition, and you know, the fact that many of these communities are also around the dry corridor. So over the last several years you've had severe droughts that have led too many many families losing their entire crops. Again, you don't some of these are also located along the border where you know, you also have trafficking drugs weapons and other forms of illicit trafficking, traveling through those areas, and again these are regions where you don't have a significant state presence. So you know, they tend to suffer from high levels of corruption. Lewis your thoughts about that. Well, I think that one of the push factors that really hasn't been emphasized enough is climate change, and that will become even more important as as as the weather becomes becomes bad. So that's that's one thing. And I've seen people not just from the border towns of of Mexico migrating. We're talking about people outside and t-. Well, what Walla which is a fairly? You know? Oh, I won't say well love, but it's much less pow a pub poor than than consented angle or some market, which are the border. So the opportunity of coming at this time, I suppose to in may of last year when when they were separating children on a, you know, regular basis now, there's still separating children and parents. For three days. The man I follow talked about how he was plays in a cage inside Ayala and not far from him in another cage was his daughter, and he could see her, but they were separated for three days. Louisan Adriana so stand by for moment. Let's just take some calls here. If we can let's go to Horace who's calling from Montgomery, Alabama for us. You're on the air. Just like to broaden the conversation to include the US foreign policy towards Central America. Nineteen fifty four C I participates in overthrow of our Ben and other leaders in Central America. Then we use. He joked trade to finance operations Salvador and then outcome of the drug trade, we send back to El Salvador, and Guatemala, these gangs that were started in the US. So you as foreign policy has everything to do with what we're doing with today, interns, an immigration from Guatemala horse. Thank you for your call a Jeter BELTRAN, you want to respond to that the destabilizing force of decades of he was foreign policy in Central America. And that's a very good point that he raises the history. Sorry of US foreign policy in the region long history of engagement the support of very brutal regimes in the eighties. You know, the the involvement of the US with deportation of thousands of central Americans that aided, you know, the spread of gang violence in the region, the issue of drug trafficking, and you know, this highlights the reason why it is important for the US to support long-term challenge of how do you address these factors? How do you address these drivers of migration? So let's go to Patricia who's calling from Baltimore, Maryland, you're on the air. Yes. I my question is I know the US sends millennial funds and that's supposed to be for security. And I'm wondering what your guests. Think about diverting those funds with strict oversight to do something about gang rehabilitation a jobs education at cetera. Thank you. Thank you for your call Lewis. A get a your thoughts about that. Definitely the protest to be multifaceted. And the conditions in the sending countries have to change on till you have a do cash in health services and hope hope hopefully future not even a better future just of a future. There was a woman from Honduras interview, she was in the cavern coming couple of months ago. And she said I have four kids if I stay here by the time, they're fifteen I will have bury them all if I go I might only berry one or two. But at least even if I die I will die with hope of having a better future in the US. Well, okay, so Adriana the let's talk a little bit about let's say the United States did as Pacheco. The caller was suggesting divert funds are increased funds to economic development in Guatemala. She you know, she. Points out with strict oversight. But I mean, we've also been talking about how much corruption there is in Guatemala is such oversight even possible. Or would you have to root out corruption? I in order for the money to be effectively used for the Guatemalan people. I think it's important. And I think one of the priorities of US assistance to the region should be for combating corruption addressing the high rates of widespread impunity, and how do you build accountable ineffective institutions success in those areas will contribute to success in the other areas. Now, there have been very effective initiatives a rooting out corruption in the region, particularly in the case of quantum Malla that unfortunately now are seeing significant pushback from forces from the government enforces within the country, but these are initiatives of the US should support. I would also say that there are many courageous individuals in Guatemala, and in these countries that are trying to promote reforms in a make progress in these areas, and those are the initiatives, and the people that the US should be supporting in addition to what I agree is, you know, multifaceted approach Taty you continue investing in violence prevention in. Education and workforce development, and in other areas will address BELTRAN and Luis Argueta standby for just a moment. We're talking about why is major spike in the number of families coming to the US southern border is going on some sixty six thousand migrants total in February and just one month. And why so many of them are families from Guatemala, and what the United States can or should do to improve the situation in Guatemalan to address the migrant crisis. What the Guatemalan government itself oughta do we'll be right back. This is on point. Life kid is like that friend he go she when your toughest parenting moments. So my answer was do you believe Lucas, you're so Socratic wife kit for parents, an audio guide from NPR and the experts at sesame workshop check it out in apple podcasts were at NPR dot org slash life kit. This is on point. I'm begging to Chuck Roberti. We're talking this hour about why so many families from Guatemala in particular are traveling to the US border seeking asylum in the United States, and what can be done about it. And I'm joined today by Luis Argueta. He's a Guatemalan American filmmaker and producer currently at work on a new film looking at the lasting effects of family separation adrenaline BELTRAN also joins us. She's with us from Washington. She's director of the Washington office of Latin America's citizens security programme. And we're again, we're really taking a close look at what's happening on the ground in Guatemala. That's driving is recalling it these push pull factors in sending so many families to the US border. An adrenalin me ask you something. We were talking about anticorruption efforts beforehand, and how and why they're sort of one of the factors that are central to the issue in Guatemala. But if I remember correctly didn't quite Amal and president Jimmy Morales very recently want to. To end or revoke an international Commission Against Corruption a UN commission that was either at work or going to get to work in Guatemala. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for the question. Guatemala had been making significant progress in the fight against corruption in grape part due to the help and support of the international commission against impunity Guatemala known SEC. This is an international mechanism that is very unique because it is able to investigate, but it has to work hand in hand with local institutions to bring cases before the local court. So the prosecution the cases are are all handled by local institutions, and in this way, it is able to bolster the investigative capacity of the local prosecutors in local courts and police and it had been making a lot of progress. So. Much. So that you know, when the president members of his family, but also very powerful individuals came under investigation. He started seeing a very strong backlash against the the commission, but also against you know, all the progress that had been made in different areas. So what you've seen is really attempts and measures that the current government has taken to undermine this entire effort, and to you know, backslide on all the progress that had been made in the areas of judicial independence of security and other another areas. So it was working is what you're saying. Which is why the receiving pushback from political elites and the business community. But the constitutional court ruled that president were else couldn't just expel the commission. The constitutional court has ruled in various instances the last ruling, so the president unilaterally tried to end the agreement with the United Nations. That created the the commission in order that needed to leave and the constitutional core basically responded saying that that was a violation of international law violation of the agreement. Unfortunately, what you see right now is a situation where the president the can the government continue to defy the court, and that has created a crisis in the country. Okay. So Lewis, oh, get let me just get your your take on the situation that here we have one example in which an important effort to see to clean up corruption in Guatemala, which could then, you know, ideally, have cascading effects and improving the nation as a whole wants it started working. There's pushback from from the government itself or parts of the government itself. So what does that tell us about the challenges of of improving politics and the economy in the country? Well. Adrenals talks about how forces within the country have been trying to get rid of of this something very effective on thank option organization, but we should also know that there are forces outside the country, very powerful lobby in Washington DC, trying to change the of the American public opinion against this the this organization, and you know, paid by very powerful forces in the water Malla and they corrupt forces in what amounted on the dumb one their their tails to be stepped on. I think that we should also remember that this is a presidential election. And what Ahmadullah and that the US should really be looking that these elections are carried in in a safe, and and democratic way, it's it's fascinating that an attorney general that had to. The country because she was part of this anti-corruption campaign is now running for four presidents, though, you know, things things could change. Well, let's go back to the phones we're at one eight hundred four two three eight two five five that's eight hundred four to three talk. And once again, we're talking about the situation on the ground in Guatemala, and why so many families from Guatemala are coming to the US to the southern border and requesting asylum. So let's go to Erica who's calling from Boston Massachusetts Erica, you're on the air. Hi there. I wanted to mention that why haven't talked about the impact of trade agreement that bring a lot of product from the US, and it's undermining the crop of a lot of compassi some compassi in in a lot of people in the highlands of what the Marlins on medicals had to leave because the potato the potato. That's the main source in corn. It's just decline in the price that Klein in Seoul much in. It's not sustainable in more to invest in plant and potato crops in all kinds of vegetables. So people are just get an in depth. And have to leave because they they can't because of the poverty that comes from from the the reduction in prices of the crops, and and you know, like. You know, like, there's someone who has a chicken farm. He can't sell his chickens anymore. But there's a lot of chicken comes from the US, it's cheaper and a lot of Mexico. You know, their wellness over there now and McDonald there, so it's a free trade benefits a lot of US companies, but not local armless or local business will Erica. Thank you so much for your call adrenal BELTRAN. Let me turn back to you. There I presume Erica is referring to. I think the there's the Dominican Republic Central America free trade agreement that the US signed I signed many years ago. Right, right. And you know, the impact that the featuring agreement could have in, you know, particularly small farmers again, you know, as we as we had highlight it earlier on many of the of the migrants ending communities are located in areas or regions of the country where you have very high rates of poverty, and the tend to be rural in these rural areas, you know, it is estimated that I think over forty sixty percent of the population suffer from from poverty, and in the rural areas, eight out of ten individuals could be suffering from high rates of poverty areas where you have a lot of money attrition. And where these farmers may not necessarily own the land that they that they use to raise crops, so it's becoming very hard for them to have sustained sustainable lightly. Hoods aside from you know, the issues that we've also raised in terms of climate change environmental factors that have also greatly impacted. Food security in the in this area, right Louis. Get your thoughts about this. Yes, definitely peasants used to be able to take their save a little bit of their their corn crop and be a go to market to sell it and get some cash now that corn is doesn't bring any money because the US subsidize scorn is much cheaper. So let's just remember people don't leave home because they wanna go take a trip to Disneyland people come here because they're desperate, and they come here because they are jobs, and because people along the way from the smog alert to the landlord in the receiving towns are making money, and then when they get deported the private prison system makes a lot of money the private planes that deported these emigrants make a lot of money. So let's let's really try to see the the the overall picture Lewis. Help us do that. Because you knew you're right in in these kinds of conversations it's easy to get pulled into abstractions, right and policies and abstract. Language, but so so put a concrete face on this. When you say people are desperate waters. That desperation look like what are the lives of some of the people that you've you've included in your in your film, making about what their lives are like on a day-to-day basis. That's forcing them to leave. Yes. There was the man that I'm that. I'm following right now, he grew up of being one of seven brothers and last week. I interview him, and he was he he ended up crying and saying how what he wanted to do was to help his parents who still don't have a piece of land of their own or a roof over their head. They have to beg for place to stay. How he grew up with his mother cooking grass from from the surrounding areas and buying the cheapest Mehta that she could find so. She could feed the whole family, and now he wants to to repay all the efforts of his parents. That's the kind of this pressure that is bringing people here. Well, let's go back to the phones. Let's go to Alzira who's calling from Tampa, Florida. I'll see a you're on the air. Hello. The United States has always been the promised land. And part of the problem is people want to come to America. Well, one of my suggestions would be that. We should go to the people and assist them with the with basics basic things to keep them alive and an inspired by gifts. I think that would be a great help because sustainability comes from both sides. And if we go there, it would be the best assistance to them, and they would probably want to stay there. And and continued to create a better world, the people who live there will. Thank you so much for your call. Let me turn back to you. This is again, this issue of what is it that the United States could or should do if anything to assist on the ground in Guatemala. She raises the, you know, a very good point as we have mentioned, these are long-term challenges that are going to require staying long-term investment, and the US, you know, should be focusing. It's assistance on hard. We help these countries address these challenges and to ensure that there is, you know, strong firm commitment on the part of the local governments to implementing the reforms that are needed in order to create more stable prosperous insecure societies I think in the short-term, you know, there are many people that are leaving because they are facing extremely dangerous situation high levels of violence that do deserve the right to protection into asylum. And so we need to ensure that we do have an effective system. That you know insurance due process for these families and individuals that are seeking asylum in the short term Lewis, I'll get s q quick question here. I mean, we've been talking a lot about assistance at the United States could give back in two thousand sixteen or I should say two thousand fifteen in the Obama administration's 2016 budget proposal. There was a pledge for a billion dollars to assist Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala that appropriation was cut pretty significantly as the budget went through through congress. But I mean is that the kind of dollar amount that we're talking about? And if so what's your response to people who say, the United States shouldn't be spending any money, they're that that Guatemalans ought to fix the challenges within their their own borders. Okay. The billion dollars out of while my wanted that will be I think seven fifty or less million dollars, which is no small change, even lift consider even the two hundred and fifty million have been given. Watermelons? Let's compare that with the eight billion dollars in remittances that the Wasserman imigrants sent every year from the US. So you do the math, and it's ridiculous low amount. So this needs a Marshall plan and to those that say that the US should not be invested in Central America. Well, the US has been in Central America for years and years and years not giving but taking so a friend of mine recently said we used to have sugar here. But now the sugar is in the north and the ants will follow and great to the sugar. No matter how big the wall or how thick the wall is they will get gross. So we lost see this. As what it is. Which is a global problem. We should realize we have an aging population. We need the workers we need young people. People in this country. And if nothing else immigrants are the ones keeping the American dream alive. Our generations were comfortable, we're not struggling the way, these people are so it we still think that the American dream is worth fighting for. Let's let's keep it end to this. The strenuous less welcomed them. And let's help them make a decent living here and there. Okay. Well, Adrianna BELTRAN. We've got a comment that's come in from a listener on Facebook regarding sort of how to handle the migrant families that are making it to the US southern border here. And Paul Norton says instead they should go to the closest US embassy and ask for asylum there, and when it's approved they can show up at the border Paul says, we should pass a law like Britain required minimum income in no state assistance for migrant families. What's your response to that? So there used to be a program that had been implemented. By the Obama administration. Call the Central America minors program that did provide a way for families kids to apply for asylum in the country of origin. If they had family here that program has I believe was ended by the Trump administration. Again, you're talking about a large number of families of kids that are fleeing very dangerous situations. So I do think we need to ensure that we have a process that allows them to apply for asylum in a timely manner. And that, you know guarantees due process while again, you know, we invest in these long term challenges. How do we make these countries a lot more secure more stable more prosperous, so people don't are not force to leave their communities and their homes will address built Tron director of the Washington office of Latin America's citizens security programme a non-government organization. Advocating for human rights across the Americas. Thank you so much for joining us today. And Luis Argueta Guatemalan American film director and producer directed a film series on immigration, which includes abused. The postal raid Abrazos and the u-turn he's currently at work on a new film looking at the lasting effects of family separation Lewis. I'll get a thank you. So very much. On point is produced by Anna Bowman Brian Hartson ski Eileen Amata Stefan at Sonus Ellison poli James Ross and Alex Schroeder with help from Matt hoesch a sealed QB, David Marino, and Alex pay Neha our executive producer is Karen Shiffman. I'm Meghna chucker bardy. This is on point.

United States Guatemala Mexico Lewis president Washington Christian Nielsen Adrianna BELTRAN director Representative Underwood NPR Luis Argueta secretary DHS Guatemalan government Louis NPR illinois producer
Managing Holiday Stress #1127

One Life Radio Podcast

44:15 min | 1 year ago

Managing Holiday Stress #1127

"The one life radio is brought to you by our sponsors great companies like Sun Warrior plant based protein eighteen. Use The code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off Tracy water the only mineral water bottled in Texas in vira Medica makers of tariff Laura a novel broad spectrum symbiotic formulated with a combination of spore form probiotics and advanced food based Ancient Prebiotics Paleo magazine the Wellbeing Journal the International Society of Sports Nutrition. Be sure to go to our thorn research dispensary on our website for twenty percent off and free shipping. And thank you for listening to one life radio. The content of the following program is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis. His Treatment or cure always consult your physician or a health professional with any questions. You may have regarding a medical condition They beat you WANNA go higher baby. You're in the right place. You're listening to one life. Radio this is Bernadette with diamond. Gray Adrianna does I have to rockstars in studio with me today. I have Dr Stephanie set. Lift and Dr Mike McFarland so great to have both of you to doctors at once won a PhD and the other one a medical doctor. Does it get any better than that. Well this is where we're having a shrink day here today and You know I I love this. We're actually going to focus on the holidays on managing holiday stress and holiday stressors around food and eating because Dr set live is a is an expert. Psychiatrist here in Dallas that specializes in eating disorders. So such an honor to have you back and always an honor to have you here Both of you you're welcome and right before we went live And you weren't here yet. I don't think you've heard this but I wanNA talk about this. I just WanNa just WanNa talk about it because this is talk radio right so I heard that Joe Biden says that That he is not going to legalize marijuana if he becomes President uh-huh and the upcoming election because it is a gateway drug so I just curious what everyone else thinks about that. Well that's a tough tough one. I think that the the research is equivocal on whether or not it is actually a gateway drug. There's some research that supports that idea. There's other research that doesn't what I become become more concerned about. Is that if it's Legalized on a federal level that this will increase access of marijuana cannabis products to adolescence And I know that there would be an age limit on that but I I am concerned about The increase in accessibility sort of the legitimization of using it. Because of the amount of research that we know about really cumulative detrimental damage to the developing brain of adolescence and young adults uh-huh and so the with alcohol though two different. It's different very very different drilling the consequences of absolutely. I'm glad I brought it up. So what are the differences. Well well okay so with alcohol. You have some short term implications. It's it's a depressant acts as a depressant and we can get into all kinds of behavioral problems comes as a result of Abusing alcohol. You know we were well aware of what happens when we are toxic. When you use cannabis What actually happens is that it impacts the development and they're sort of a sequential pathway for development of your brain in adolescence sorta like the final stages brainstorm install snap? You're not for your brain is not fully developed until what twenty three or twenty twenty four. That's right new. That's right yes. And so what happens. Is that the the cannabis stops the development of certain areas in your brain and the the thing is if you do it extensively Once you've delayed that development it's Kinda alike you miss that opportunity so won't restart later. The won't suddenly rebound if you stop using it. If you missed that opportunity for development it just doesn't occur development development not not just intellectually. I'm guessing that you're talking about The ability to To maneuver through emotional you know for certain certain things like that right so it can emotionally What's the word I'm looking for a word for like hold you back? Bully developing aww tarred. But not right you know. Slowly delays delays delays or prevents right and and and furthermore the more or that it's used The more likely that you are to Sort of stopped the development of your prefrontal CORTEX and so Studies have shown that People who use cannabis on a regular basis in adolescence actually have difficulties picturing their future. They have a very hard time. Jimmy any what their lives might be like in the future which happens to be one of the primary functions of the prefrontal cortex to the ability to picture where we're headed in our lives and then plan accordingly. And if you can't picture your future you have a very difficult time planning organizing your life to strive towards goals. Wow Wow that's very interesting. I did not know that and Dr Set left. Would you like to elaborate as well. Now I think he said he he said it all. We know that the prefrontal CORTEX doesn't really come online nine fully until twenty four twenty five years old That's when you can rent a car right. All the car rental agencies know that that's when they're most likely to get their car back back and I I think about the other thing I thought about when he was talking is that you know when you think about any sort of mental illness including substance use and substance substance use disorders. It's all genetically mediated so you have your genetics drive what you're going to do For the the largest ages fifty to seventy five percent is by genetically mediated. So we all sitting here don't know what our genetic predisposition is to take that use that drug and then go down some road of addiction and all sorts of horrible things whereas other people may smoke that smoke and they they may smoke once a week might once a week for the rest of the life thing everything they never think about using any other drugs right. Stay but for example. If you're if you're genetically predisposition Asian for psychotic disorders schizophrenia being the worst If you use cannabis that can be the trigger that actually John starts the first psychotic break and so you may be a person. That has the genetics for schizophrenia. But you may never manifest the disorder because your environmental conditions. Additions are not such that. It triggers it. Will we know that cannabis trigger psychotic experiences and we have many documented cases of people who who have actually activated their schizophrenia process through the use of cannabis and once you start that you can't stop it you can control can't stop it well. That really scares me. Because you know. Have a brother that schizophrenic. I grew up with them and it was. He became very violent at times. And now you're making me wonder I wonder if you've got a hold of a little weed or something triggered on top Abba other stuff because there was other stuff that went on you know He was molested and so that could have triggered it to write you know trauma. Yeah wow interesting. What about medical marijuana? How do you feel about that using it for pain management or you know cancer treatment things like that? Look I'M A. I'm a fan of medical marijuana. I I think when it's being prescribed and people are and we've got data that shows that it decreases the amount of pain that people are in. I'm I just don't fight that. I think it's when it's used for a medical reason for me that makes sense when somebody's prescribing it. And Yeah we know what it's What the potency of it is? And we know why it's being used. I think I'm I'm not fighting that it's interesting you know what is the disease That were you sh- is it. Parkinson's where you've if you've ever seen the youtube videos where gentleman is like. They're just shaking shaking shaking. He takes a couple hits of weed and then he's like completely normal or the child having seizure given right and they'll give it. Yeah I mean I think of Christie's art ler and her daughter Can't think of her name right now. But they've gone through who so much trauma and she actually You know Basically gave her daughter marijuana and recorded it and then got in trouble with CPS it was on the cover of the Dallas Morning News back a couple of years ago Just approve her point that yes it does help. In certain circumstances I mean. Her daughter was hitting her head like something like eight hundred times a day. Gosh Day after day month after month year after year I mean as a mother I would do that to to give the FA- give your child some relief from that my goodness right right. Well I think we risk in our society throwing the baby out with the bathwater now and so Eliminating the entire category of products that could be produced through cannabis. Abbas would be You know imprudent and we've got a really focus on. Where can these products actually help us? and where are there consequences that that we need to protect against or prevent. Yeah well let's go it's interesting conversation So I'm glad we talked about it. I learned a lot and thank you so much for your incredible brain over there. Dr Mike Mcfarland Dr. Stephanie Sat live We're going to be going to break and when we come back we're going to be talking about Managing Holiday Holiday Stress with Dr Mike McFarland a PhD. and Dr Stephanie. Set live medical doctor. We're going to be talking about holidays. stressors around food and eating she as an expert in eating disorders. Stay tuned everyone. You're listening to one life radio the so I've Christmas music. Welcome back everyone year listening to one life radio. This is Bernadette with diamond gray. And they're controlling the music and the Board of Course Adriana does Dr Mike McFarlane I and Dr Stephanie set lift. I'm actually GonNa read both of your BIOS because we're going to make this a collaboration. I think that always such a good idea with to Brilliant minds here in the room. we'll maybe I'll say four. I'm not so I don't know I wouldn't call myself a brilliant mind maybe not medicine or psychiatry in my own way. Yeah but and certainly you're brilliant Adriana but everyone I've got as I said Dr Mike McFarland. He is a licensed psychologist in the state of Texas with private. Practice here in Dallas. Dr Mike provides individual therapy therapy to adolescence through adulthood. He specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders obsessive compulsive spectrum disorders and also male body image and eating in disorders. You can find him at his website at McFarland psychology dot com and his colleague. Dr Stephanie set live is a medical doctor. She is a child adolescent and adult psychiatrists psychiatrists in Dallas Texas. She is certified by the American Board of Psychiatry Neurology and has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders for over twenty years after developing and directing the eating disorders program. At Children's health. She joined the eating recovery center in January. Twenty fourteen to develop an open eating being recovery center here in Dallas. She completed her adult psychiatry residency in Dallas Texas and did Advanced Training and child and Adolescent Fellowship at Ut Southwestern Medical Center additionally for sixteen years. Dr Settling has served on the board of directors of the Elisa Project which is dedicated to fighting eating disorders orders through education support and advocacy always a pleasure. Dr Stephanie set lesson. You can find her at eating recovery center dot com okay. So let's get started holiday stressors around food and eating. Can we talk about the general stress and anxiety that comes along with the holidays Dr set left especially especially when it comes to food while we all have it. I mean. I'm sure that I have to start thinking about. What are we going to do what we have? All these idealized views of what we wish that it would be. Yeah we all went all of our families to get along even though nobody really has gotten along last twenty years we all want like you know what I mean. We all want to make our own special food and And I think that all of that. The high expectations are what kind of start driving the anxiety and and then the perfect presents for people that now presents are endless. You can go online. You can find a mini everywhere. It's very stressful right. Because if you get this president what if next week there's going to be a better president right the whole a little bit nutty to me But yeah so I think just the worrying about it and having expectations if people could just manage their expectations scaling n. Don't you think Dr absolutely perfectionism is a big part of this. You know we want to make it the best holiday and we WANNA give the most perfect perfect gifts. It can't just be a gift anymore and like you said because everything's available online You know back thirty years ago. We kind of had a limit to what we could get by. What was is in the store? Now I mean you can get exactly what somebody wants and you kind of feel that sense of obligation to make sure that your presence or the perfect fit for the person it's interesting and I don't even care hear about it anymore. So what's wrong with me like I'm so over it. I am so overdoing all that. I've done all that and I told my. I told one of my daughters this morning. I'm like we're we're doing no presents for Christmas. We're just not no presence. I don't want anybody bringing me presents. I don't WanNa give I just. I want to enjoy just company and good food. I'm GonNa Cook. I'M GONNA get some food brought in as well so that I don't have to work so hard to take some of the stress of that. I love that. There's so many places to get food. It's beautiful food you don't have have to cook for ten hours and then just totally resentful where people eat it in ten minutes. Yeah you don't have to do it. And he just the grocery shopping holy smokes trying to get through central market. When they're busy you might have? I mean you almost like to have. We have to have combat terrorism already written my Thanksgiving Grocery shopping list list and I yeah and doing it before in stages and and so I'm getting the dry goods and then you know the the nuts and things like that and so every store is going to be different depending on what they specialize in and have already got it all mapped out. I WanNa go to his house I I no he. Didn't you bring some of their one. That's a lot I probably of. Yeah well you know. There's just so much effort that goes into the holidays in so much money. Money is a huge stressor to. I'm already feeling like I want to stop the bleeding right now. I bought matching pajamas for myself and my two daughters. I'm like that's where it ends. Okay we'll have a pretty tree. I had her name embroidered on it. We'll take a couple of pitchers you know For memories but I just don't want it to be this big stress stress monster this year and look we talk about it at eating recovery center all the time because It gets to be about food and it gets to be about gifts but really really what everybody wants if you get rid of that. It's to spend time together and we're not spending a ton of time together really like we used to because we're all busy doing doing all the things that we've just talked about. I one of the things that we talked our patients and their families about is just dial it down make it more about family may get more about connection. That's what everybody wants anyway. That's right right. Yeah and make it less about things make it more about the experience being the other. Yeah no I agree agree. And then of course you've got the complexity of everybody's got a different Diet. Now you've got Paleo you've got Kito. You've got vegan. You've got Kito -Tarian you've gotten Mediterranean. You've got I don't give a crap up. I'M GONNA eat every every piece of junk in front of me. But and then preparing food for. That's one of the reasons I'm like. Forget about it. I am just going to get a bunch of different food and hopefully really everybody has something that fits in whatever their diet choices I it sounds awesome and I love your willingness to do something different. That's what we talk about too you just because you've always done something doesn't mean that you always have to keep doing it. That's very rigid black. And white way of thinking. Yeah so do something different. Make a new tradition because if you can have psychological flexibility than your loved ones will go along with it. People always are afraid if we don't do it exactly the way we did it last year. There nobody's going to recover from that right we ask yeah why and you know what that's very damaging to and here's why and I've experienced it personally after a divorce. Okay especially Ashley. When you're so accustomed to this tradition and you get so stuck in? This is the way it has to be. You know you make the stuffed shells you make the homemade Brad and you make them together gathering and you know this all the dynamics that go around that of doing like you said the same thing over and over again can be very disruptive to your emotional wellbeing all being when it gets changed I agree I agree. I'm not against it you know. Traditions are awesome and traditional. Yeah there's some great things about traditions and if you have you know yearly yearly you know grandma brings a certain Pi. There's something special about other s but when everything becomes so rigidly standard which realistic then that becomes is sort of a benchmark that you tend to idealize over time and then each year. You look at it and you say hey. Is this year as good as last year and usually we always SORT SORTA make the year before or years before better in our heads sort of nostalgic and so you look at this year and you're like well maybe this is good but it's you know. Thousand seven was way better exactly and you know the other thing that I was just sitting here listening to you. Talk about when people get divorced thing. Nothing stays the same Apple Apple grandmothers wind up not being around divorces happen things happen so if the adults and I'm I'm a child psychiatrist right so I'm thinking in terms of Families Dr After Mike knows this about me I can't really do anything else but as long as the GROWNUPS. Send the message that this is awesome. This is our new thing. We're going to do this differently. And it's going to be awesome the kids we'll decide it's awesome. It's may have a little bit of pain and say. Oh Gosh no I missed that part. But if the adult is the one in charge and in charge of their own feelings wings and understands that they're the ones that are gonna make or break the new tradition the right way of doing things today it all goes really well. Yeah and sometimes it takes a couple of years ears to get their. Yes and give up on on those traditions. Because I was raised in such a traditional home. You know we had tradition. You Know Irish Catholic Italian. You can only imagine the the traditions you know and it was very difficult to really let go of that for a couple of years but once I did it was it was an amazing feeling. It really was. Won't it gives you so. How much flexibility and adaptability because as families grow and you know Siblings get married and they have kids. They want to create their own opportunities. And traditions ends and if you hold on so tightly to it's gotta be just the way it was. It creates a set of tensions among the family that oftentimes are unspoken and then resentments can occur occur but if we're flexible on that we recognize life is changing everyone. Circumstances in life are going in different directions. We just need to adapt and accommodate. I think we're GONNA come up with what's best for any given year. Yeah I just love having you guys in studio I just love what he just said. I honestly I do think that if we're not if we're not careful I'm a parent of two emerging adults and I use that term loosely. They're going to be twenty so get excited. But but you know. They've got different things that they want to do. And I've told myself I'm not going to be the mom that always demands that they are here with me right certain day. I'm not doing it. Yes I think that drives your kids away absolutely just being flexible and saying look you know. Why don't we do this? Tell me what they're going to do and let's try to work it out together. I just think that's better. Yeah no I agree absolutely because you can't force anything I and dry and that you get compliant right it's not gonna be pleasant right then that creates more stress. Yeah well you know what are some of the common holiday stressors regarding food and eating doctor sait left. I mean look you know are we. Americans and I'm not saying just Americans but Americans especially we make these holidays about food. We don't why do we I don't know I think we just have this one food that we look forward to we cook it once a year. Maybe twice Thanksgiving Christmas and so then. Everybody's got their dish everybody. It's not meant to be stressful stressful. It's meant to be celebrating these yummy flavors that you don't have very often but for people with eating disorders. All they see an all they think about once it becomes mid-november had November is food is everywhere. Food is everywhere. Food is everywhere. I'm not going to be able to do this. Food is going to be everywhere. So there's different ways that you can manage that and we talk about it but but we we link these holidays with food interesting. Yeah we really do. I mean that's the first thing I start thinking. So people are coming to my house for Thanksgiving and I'm like okay. What am I going to feed them? What are we gonNA do at wonder what the weather will be like? IRA have activities outside inside trying to prepare to be you know a good Host or hostess But I think it's the most natural thing on earth right it is. I mean I think a lot of people spell love F O O D. My Grandmother. Grandmother definitely did. Oh my entire family around food. Yeah I never made the Green Bean casserole though you have never made. It's real easy. Is it really easy. I have to join us. We're going to talk more about this. We'll be we're going to go to break. We'll be right back. Stay tuned everyone. You're listening to one life radio practices. Call Change Ma Milo directions art. I guess I win and Bam tradition Like the DOC Dr Mind Right. Welcome back to one life. Radio everyone this is Bernadette with Diamond Gray Adriana Betty Antos. I've got Dr Mike McFarland in Studio with me and Dr Stephanie Sat lift. Dr McFarland is a licensed psychologist in the state of Texas with a private practice. Here in Dallas. and Dr After Steph. Stephanie set live is a medical doctor and is a child adolescent and adult psychiatrist in Dallas Texas. One of the interesting things that I that that I really love about you is that you're on the board of directors of the Elisa Project which is dedicated to fighting eating disorders through education support and advocacy. Her website is is eating recovery center DOT COM we're talking about eating disorders. We're talking about food and the holidays and all the crazy stuff that goes on around the holidays and so you know how can families support a loved one who may be struggling or recovering from an eating disorder. What does that look like? I mean for me. He looks like planning ahead. I can't really teach people to swim when they're drowning. That's a bad time to teach the backstroke. So it's it's very. I love that. It's very hard when you're in the middle of Thanksgiving Day to start talking about what to do. When Thanksgiving Day get stressful? So you plan ahead you sit together at another time at a breakfast at some other time On the weekend when you're calm relaxed you have a little bit of time to talk about it and you say okay. What do you think go? Well what can we do to keep you feeling like you can do this. How do I support you? What will be the signal that you want to tell me when you you need to take a break and go outside for a minute and come back in? It's all about planning ahead. The good part for people with eating disorders is as we were talking earlier in the break take the food is essentially Yari. Know what the food's going to be right. Oh It's easy to make your meal planning out in advance because you know what it's going to be. Yeah and so oh I think I feel like things like that work trying to take care of it in. The moment is just does not work in my patient population right in on an outpatient basis. When when I'm working with people who are recovering from eating disorders depending on what they're eating disorder is we do a lot of Sort of preparation the same sort of way to Do take the precautions that they need to take to make sure that they don't trigger the onset of symptoms so for example you know there might be habits. This might be the first holiday that they go through after having recovered from from the eating disorder may be restored their weight there. They've got some really great everyday habits but the holidays present a whole new set of situations. So let's say I'm working with someone who has has a history of Believe we might talk about. Well you know in the past you have restricted You have chosen to sort of fast or not eat leading up to the the big meal so that you are you. Give yourself approval to eat a big meal but then you weigh overdo it because you're so hungry and then you end up Perje uh-huh what are we gonna do this time around so that you don't do that will what it means is. Your meal is going to different. You're not gonNA eat all you can eat because and to make sure that you don't we're GONNA WE'RE GONNA go ahead and start the day off with your normal breakfasts. That's that's a good idea isn't it had and continue. I wanted to write so so and so thinking through You know what can you get support from someone in the family. Like if they notice some people who binge they sort of go into this alternate that state or dissociated state when they're binging. Is there someone in the family that can kind of help them Recognize what they're doing and break out of it so You know some support within the family family to encourage them to kind of keep on track and then also to watch out so if a person has a tendency to want to go purge you know Who can be there sort sort of accountability at that point to sort of watch out for them because at this point you know if they're if they're out and they've been through treatment they want to recover? They're they're trying to recover but the holidays present a set of scenarios that make Sort of a a slip up possible you said something about a disassociated state eight dissociate of stage Associated State. What exactly does that look like? Well for some people when they're binging it's almost like an alternate state of reality where they're sort of zoned out and they're not even plugged into the fact that they're eating they could eat a ton of food and then pondered to themselves. What did I just eat? They might have to like you taste in their mouth and say oh I think taste bake it. I think I'm I must have had those bacon wrapped. Whatever you know? They're they're they're not totally in tune with their actions and people bull who dissociate when they binge are very susceptible in these kinds of holidays because their bowls of food there leftovers and people will talk and the talk can be become a distraction. Distraction and in that distraction. They can dissociate from their actual activity of eating and therefore fall back into that pattern of engaging in benching is it is it good practice actes to leave a lot of. I know a lot of people that do this. So they'll they'll be food out the whole day different types of food. Maybe you know of course keeping it safe using a oh you know good food handling practices but but is that good for someone that right that and so it's overwhelming wing for them and this is what I think. They are just stunned by. But I the the families of people who have eating disorders the people have eating disorders. They're fabulous people. Everybody wants to try how to save. Helps support the person who has it but no but nobody wants to upset anybody so back to that thing. About what if it's always been this way. Some say find it hard to just say to the their mom or grandmother. Whoever could we not have the food on the table this year? Could we keep the food in the kitchen. Not Out everywhere right. It's hard for me. Would that be possible and I would say ninety nine percent of the time people are so willing yes say oh my gosh yes we can. We can keep it in the kitchen. We can keep it back and then we have to help our group Mike and I we have to help our group understand and they may be drawn to WanNa go into the kitchen. But that if that if that's not part of their meal plan they need to ask the person they've already identified for support to to help them with that and don't go outside or take a walk. She and that's really important too. I mean many times families are just sort of used a stain in the house being a little bit sedentary on Thanksgiving Thanksgiving and then going in and out of the kitchen but taking that walk or going and doing something completely different getting out of the house may be going to a movie as the family as a family you know oh but doing different things. That don't revolve strictly around food. I mean you're still going to get plenty of food. But let's get a little bit away from the kitchen and that dynamic where every hour and a half to two hours were grazing and that's really going to help the person recovering from an eating disorder. If you have a child that you suspect has an eating disorder. How do you broach the subject or should you at all? Should you just get a professional involved. We'll look it doesn't hurt to say I love you and I care about you when I think that something's happening right because you you can't catch it. They're not contagious. So if a child has an eating disorder or you're worried that they do. It's it's not anything that they picked usually even when you pick going on a diet you're not picking an eating disorder. You're picking dieting right. Everybody picks it fifty billion dollars. A year are spent every year in dieting. Right and they don't they don't work But so if sometimes what happens is people think. Oh well she can't have an eating disorder because she's not talking about wanting to look differently she's not talking about weight loss. She's not talking. He's talking twenty five percent or guys but they're not talking about those things but all it takes haixing deciding if you're vulnerable to genetically that you are going to eat healthier. You've decided to go Paleo. You're going to be a vegetarian. You think you'll increase sure activity to start being healthier. It literally can flip over and an eating disorder from normal kind of just desires to increase your overall health and nobody ever sought coming nobody. Nobody really knows so. It's when you start seeing their functioning when you see their behaviors different. They're more isolated selective. They kind of make excuses about eating. They already ate breakfast. Earning thirty eight in my room. All those kinds of things. Right and you just broach it because if the parent is too afraid to say it then the child and the Child Kinda knows the parent knows that something's up then it's easy for the child to decide. This is actually more scary than then. I thought because my parents always can talk to me about everything. Yeah so it's better for them to go talk about absolutely yeah So you know we think of we think of the holidays is a time to you know to reconnect with family and friends but for some people the holidays really can be like so stressful. What causes all the stress? You guys well. I think you get excitement. For the holidays Intertwined with all the demands that are associated with the holidays and that creates the stress. You know we want to reconnect with friends. We WanNa have a great time with family. We do want to enjoy the foods but all of these things kind of combined together and it can be. It can be overwhelming. Yeah I mean and when we get overwhelmed we start to feel this pressure that we've got to do everything perfectly and we ended up with elaborate to do lists and everything on that to do list. We think must be done in order for this to go. Well and every invitation has to be accepted absolutely. And you don't want to. It's a combination of you. Don't WanNa miss out you know on these social events. You want to see everybody that you can possibly see. You also don't want to disappoint other people if you were to say no. And then there's this impression management piece. I want to go out of these things but oh maybe I don't look as good as I did last summer. Or maybe you know they're going to think gained fifteen pounds over the year or whatever you know but there's that That internalize as pressure to put the best face forward and a fear that we might not come off well and so all of these things start to Kinda come together get twisted up in a big ball. And it becomes overwhelming has has social media made eating disorders Rise well I'm social media contributes contributes right. It doesn't social media doesn't cause eating disorders because everybody's on social media. Apparently but me see. I told you she was smart. Can't manage my time but So I mean yeah I think what happens. Is the our patient population. They're perfectionist anxious pleasing. They're super feelers. So if you're a super feeler the things that if I look at a picture of something that I wasn't invited to I'm like Oh wow that looks fine. I hope they had found. It never occurs to me to be upset that I didn't go right but for them. It's they have a lens that a rejection and judgment it lands and so in their mind. It's about them. I wasn't invited to that because I wasn't invited to that. Because and social media makes it so that in this very he kind of bizarre way to me you can know where everybody you know is at all times. Well guess what got it has gotten so so crazy to me like people's video everything in their life almost seems and you may not want to even do some of the things that your friends or or do you may sit there and think. Yeah I don't WanNa do that but I'm not invited so then you feel like the the the combination of You didn't want to do it. But you've been rejected especially the adolescent brain. Oh yes uh-huh and especially with adolescence. Then they start to come up with reasons and you know reasons. oftentimes are related to this. The social media comes in oftentimes their appearance. You know kind of where I was going to work with the boy who is in high school and he's convinced people don't invite him because of his nose but other people think the same thing about their weight. That's right and so. Then they get fixated on that and well. If it's my wait. What do I do I can control control that and if I lose a little bit of weight then I'm GonNa get invited to these parties or I'm going to you know be able to hang out and play games with friends or whatever and so they embark on their self assign challenge because they see that as the solution to their social perceive social deficits? Yeah and so eating disorders at the very At the very root of it is all about control. Well I in some people would say that I would say at the very root of it. It's about your genetic makeup right right because the same things can happen to a group of people but not every single one of them is going to have an eating disorder But people do. I think when somebody is vulnerable they have the genetics and they are super feelers. And something happens with an internal event like a thought. Which is Dr Mike Talking about or an external event? What if they can't manage it in their minds if they don't know how to I guess? Control it like you said. They can't put it anywhere that keeps coming back. And it's it's it's upsetting for them if they decide to try to manage it with weight anything that has to do with weight or fat. They're going to engage in dieting and exercising and dieting the exercising are there to gateway behaviors. Really those are the two gateway behaviors so so could they trip over an eating disorder in that way. Hey Yeah they could. Wow and depending on which You know depending on sort of their wiring and their genetic makeup there they may go down a path of Anorexia or they may go down a Pathum Bolivia and so for example. We know that people with anorexia usually a high incidence of obsessive compulsive traits And you think about it then it makes sense because in order to once you start losing weight in order to override your body's demands to to eat you've gotTa have unbelievable obsessive compulsions obsessions and compulsive behaviors to resist what your body is demanding that you do which is eat now if you don't have OCD you might end up binging because because you can't hold back and then purging taking another action to eliminate the food that you just ate so you know sorta and again it goes back to genetics and your wiring. And you're sort of predispositions Sion's as to which the eating disorders ends up manifesting and you can bounce back and forth in between those even within any individual but Yeah a your your genetics in your environment make a big difference on how that eating disorder actually manifesting individual person. It's fascinating and complex and I WANNA talk more about it. We've got a few more minutes. We're going to go to break when we come back more with Dr Mcfarland and Dr set lift. Stay tuned everyone. You're listening to one life Radio John then by a lean on me me we. I love this song. Matters are made who who is. The weather's weather's okay. It's so funny. Hey at least I I was thinking. Welcome back two one live radio. Everyone this is Bernadette. I'm here in studio with Dr Mike. Mcfarland and Dr Stephanie set. Lift if you're just now joining us. Dr Mike McFarland. Alan is a licensed psychologist in the state of Texas with private practice. Here in Dallas and Dr Stephanie Set Lifted Child Adolescent and Adult Psychiatrist in Dallas Texas as. Well we're talking about managing aging holiday stress around food and eating and social events. And all this. That's happening right now. Everybody is gearing up for the holidays. So how can we manage Are Stress at holiday social events. Dr Mike and Dr set love well. That's a great question. I think a lot of times on the one hand we get very very excited about social events because we look forward to seeing maybe people that we haven't seen all year yeah we lead busy lives And so oftentimes we lose touch with people and the holidays present the opportunities for us to reconnect with people that are important to us but just in our hectic lifestyle we aren't able to connect with but in that comes some. Thanks a lot of times because we want to have that go very well. We want to say the right things we WANNA look the right way We don't WanNa make any Social Faux Pas. We want to have good stories to talk about what's been going on with us over the past year. I mean we don't want to be the person that necessarily says all the negative things that happen to us over a year and so there's a lot of pressure and people can start to You know worry about the event more than they actually look forward to the event and that's really really unfortunate because we want to be able to enjoy this time. They're brief periods of time with these people. We don't get to see him that often and we want to be able to make the most out of that and cherish I that time with those individuals and if we're dreading it beforehand we're sort of taking on like a cloudy day well in advance a event and we're we're and we're rehearsing a negative experience That may not come to pass. Will you know my attitude. This year I talked about at the beginning of the show. It's kind of like the it's like the forget. Forget about it attitude right. Just forget about it quit making it is such a darn big deal right. Yeah I love it I love it I we think when we talked our patients nations up there at eating recovery center everybody also they tend to think that people are going to nonstop questions at them right right and that they're not going to have enough answers. They're not going to be funny enough enough. They're not going to be clever enough. And really the you know the million dollar secret surviving. A party is just ask people about themselves. That's right to talk about themselves true. Yeah yeah that's exactly. What have you been doing? You don't have to act like twenty minutes. Yeah right yeah and you can just nod and listen and the important thing there is. It's really Lee useful to listen. This is a way to find out a lot about what's going on with your friends and and acquaintances at these events But many times people are so afraid of what what they're going to say it's also to recognize that We're thinking that every word we say is GONNA be impactful and it might have a positive impact Stewart might have a negative impact. It's important another little tip is that people don't really listen so they're not paying attention to what you're saying saying they're thinking too loud exactly exactly but they're too busy thinking. Oh what am I going to say next. And so they're trying to listen. It's it's not like they're trying to neglect someone. But they're so busy thinking about what they're going to say that they're really not concerned about what you're gonNa say and so as long as you're not overtly insulting someone one which would be a problem as long as you're not doing that. There really is no way to mess up right. You just be friendly kind. You speak and that but you listen. Listen and if you listen. People are gonNA feel validated. Yeah there's research that shows that people feel much closer to another person when they've been able to tell that other person something personal and the other person validates them so the ability. If you give the other person talking they're gonNa feel closer to you. That's their sense. And so it's not about what you have to say but it's about what you can give them in terms of listening to them and if you are listening you're GonNa know exactly the right response. It's you'll know just the right thing to say because you're paying attention as opposed to thinking. What should I say next? What should I say next? Yes let it flow. Yeah Talkradio exactly and actor settlers. What would you like to say? Well I think he said it was just sitting here thinking. Is it my Angela who said people will forget what you sad. But they'll never forget how you made them feel yes is that his. I don't know who said it but it's a wonderful experience. It's a wonderful quote for sure. I feel like just being present did I. Yeah Yeah it was. Michael Michael Maya Angelou Angelo. Nice Nice out so yeah for you. That's what I think I think if you're the president if you're if you can be present when people are talking with you and you send messages that you are listening and that they matter. I think it's a win absolutely. Yep Uh yeah and then forget about it and my Gosh always a pleasure. Thank you so much for your so fun you are so bright Both of you too. Thank you so much Dr McFarland Dr set lift You know what you get one body you get one mind and you get one life. Get out there air today and be contagious. Positively ago back love that love that yeah.

Dr Mike McFarland Dr Stephanie Dallas Texas Dr Mike cannabis WanNa Bernadette president marijuana Dr Stephanie Set Adriana Betty Antos DOT COM Dr McFarland Dr Adrianna
Why We Worry More About Others, When is Your Relationship Over? #1156

One Life Radio Podcast

44:33 min | 1 year ago

Why We Worry More About Others, When is Your Relationship Over? #1156

"The one life radio is brought to you by our sponsors great companies like Sun Warrior plant based protein eighteen. Use The code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off crazy water. The only mineral water bottled in Texas in vira Medica makers of tariff Laura a novel broad spectrum symbiotic formulated with a combination of spore form probiotics and advanced food based ancient prebiotics Paleo magazine the wellbeing journal the International Society of Sports Nutrition. Be sure to go to our thorn research dispensary on our website for twenty percent off and free shipping. And thank you for listening to one life radio. The views and opinions expressed on this program are not necessarily those of this station or Iheartmedia. The the content of the following program is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis treatment or cure. Always consult your physician or a health professional with with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. They little baby baby. Do you WANNA go higher baby. That is the question question if you do. You're in the right place. You're listening to one life. Radio this is Bernard add with Diamond Gray viane about don does not Mendoza Lexi's even around here somewhere and Vaughn Egland and we have We Have Federal magazine in studio with us. In fact Courtney Garza the editor in chief. I'm GonNa have you jumped on the air here in just a second Because you you do. Such amazing work to help animals and Ingrid newkirk is was on the show tomorrow. and so I'm really looking forward to that. Her new book animal kind of remarkable discoveries about animals and revolutionary new ways to show them compassion by Ingrid newkirk and Johnstone is an amazing read. I've only gotten to the first couple of chapters. I hope to finish it by tomorrow morning but it is an incredible book. And she's an incredible woman. I'm really honored to have her back back on the air with us. She's not going to be in studio but she will be on the show the whole show tomorrow. So how's everybody doing uh-huh Football Gosh. Gosh Gosh Gosh Yeah. That buffalo game was a nail biter. You know well you win some you lose some and with Buffalo we are really good losers all my uncle my local play for the Houston oilers while I have an affinity for teams from that area Beaumont Texas so buffalo. Kick that double hockey hockey sticks out in your right and so I kind of felt like this was like ravines overtime and everything you know I mean you guys came back and you know the biggest comeback in playoff history at the. Yeah we were playing. Yes that's right Warren Moon. Gosh so we were talking about that game. But I couldn't even remember remember what year it was or who they were playing. I should know that as a buffalo fan off the top of my head back in the nineties. We were supposed to win the super bowl that year. But it just didn't happen happy because of you guys because of the buffalo bills. That's right well you know. I love football football win. Lose or draw. Whatever it is? It's just fun to watch it really ellios and it's one of the I know Adrianna feels the same way we're both. I am a little salty but well if the cowboys as well so what do you WanNa talk about anything on your mind. Anything on one. I just came from a doctor's point with the life and so they do a Sonogram did not let him. I'm doing anymore all my gosh. I just read no no. I'm I'm being very serious. I just got a book by Dr and actually what is the name of it Lexi Lexi. You're back though. Maybe my way my baby my way and my you need to get a copy. Okay right away. I'm not kidding you I was reading something about sonograms. That is alarming. Alarming Baby sonograms on babies not to put fear in you but you need to be aware and every pregnant woman out there or just found out that they're pregnant needs to be aware okay. So you're not supposed to get a Sonogram. So how does it you know I mean you know. There's a lot of people going. What is she talking about? You know people are that we need to read this whole thing. This whole medicine thing so controversial. What do you want to say? A new mother lives just going to say I had a lot of sonograms. Yup because of how big he was and I had extra fluid and all these things so they monitored me yeah a lot. I think I had one every week for the last month. So wow what did you guys. You didn't crack the book. You didn't get the Book Wade ally show you about sonograms and it's it's Kinda scary and and you know they're billable their billable. I'm not I'm paying exactly so anytime that you're you you know it's billable icee asked the question you know and not if you're going to get but do your own research really because a lot of doctors are not educated After they leave medical school on new discoveries not and it doesn't make them bad. It's just you know I don't know it's just pretty scary though. And so on even like birthing centers centers which I looked into they only do the first sonogram and then they don't do another one. I don't think until the very end they just don't do that many well. Here's the thing. My wife is a geriatric Syria pregnancy pregnancy. Because she's over thirty five. This is what they call A. You Know Ridiculous Dr. Hey No one lose the geriatric trek words. You'RE GONNA lose a patient. I kind of make fun of 'em like Yeah Your Old Lady. Jane's how how about at that. She's on the forty are geriatric pregnancy. We're getting sonograms like almost monthly at this point. So yeah you need to five five months. She's going into the small fine sonograms would say that and you can save the money bond. The baby's fine. You know because I keep paying the Oiseaux every time we get a sonogram like but it's exciting. It's exciting to see their baby face. So that's what what is wrong with people. What can they wait anymore? Even nations three D. ON AGREE A. That's ridiculous until all kinds of so they will like. Hey you know what put so much value on what people look like though in our society if you're not pretty you know even in the womb. It's ridiculous. You're a little deeper. Why why do we judge people so much by what they look like initially so sick of? Let me get your opinion on this so sometimes I have people welcome. Two minutes of your baby is going to be so cute because they look at me they look at my wife and you know she's looking relationship in there like you baby is going to be so cute good luck. I'm okay playing it down easy I mean so I'll say oh country expression so but what are your thoughts about that. Like the first thing they would say is that a your baby is going to be attractive. But that's our whole society. We're not your babies won't be so smart talented because you got your two right right now. It doesn't come up and say hey baby is going to be really attractive. They're gonNA look so awesome. They're gonNA cute and so on and so forth so I came from the beauty salon to get my the hair salon to get my hair because we're doing a photo shoe house. We it lasted like five minutes because it's ninety percent humidity here in Dallas today. But what are you going to do but we have. I was having a conversation Because I put eyepatches under my eyes While I was getting my hair done I put my own makeup on. Not that I put. I put a little powder lipstick nick and Mascara. Oh no I did put a little highlighter. Underneath my eyes sealer. Yeah look good photo shoots but anyway So when I had the thing under my I this woman asked me. Oh my gosh. What did you use on your eyes? You know and I gave her the package but she was feeling really down on herself because she'd lost wait and and she's got a few more eagles on her face and she was really you know really struggling with it and I just felt so bad and I told her I said you know this country's beauty sick we really are. We are absolutely beauty sick. It's it's the number one thing like you said someone you're having a baby. Oh I bet they're going to be cute. What if they're not what if they're ugly ugly as a stone beautiful? Thank you go here. Yes the stone dumb as a stick. I just those are some experience I mean I don't know I think well in I think there was a biological thing. Let me get a little bit more. Like technical with the whole shrank here. So here's what you know from a biological standpoint in society like when we were cavemen we always wanted the Alpha's tomat- if that makes sense because whenever the Alpha female and Alpha male may there have a better chance of survival for the younger kids and everything so So from from that standpoint and he in fact check this out whenever you know a woman has a cycle. Have you ever lived with a woman in the cycle. Start to like matchup together. My daughter's an ice because you're cycle starting to match up with whoever the Alpha female years inside of that group because what will happen is real because what will happen in Caveman Times like if the Alpha female is offline and he now has options to go to any other back all the Beta female. So what will happen is as a natural progression of Tom. The all-star delighted with Alpha females and win an Alpha female goes off line. All the other females offline. So you won't be having like Beta keys. If that makes sense I think there's a there is is a neurobiological piece to it where you're like okay. I want someone who is that. Looks like an Alpha whether it be you know whether it be their stature you know their attractiveness or the money or the intelligence elegance whatever that is and then if you see two people who use perceive as being more Alpha so to speak then a kind of a kind of like okay. I want them to mate so there is kind of you know some some some background history here but so I can't necessarily say that it's totally off base. But I think it is very heightened because of society and then the I guess the value that we place place on what attracted him in what should be out of control so Ross. It really is on steroids. So there's I think there's a natural thing but then again once you include all of the social media piece to it and you know what we value as a society and as a culture that is just you know it just grows exponentially. Yeah well. I've got Courtney Garza in studio. I WanNa jump on the Mike. She is the editor in Chief of Veg World magazine and I wanted to give us an update. What's going on in the veggie world Courtney and welcome to one life radio thanks for having me. Yeah we just got our new issue last Tuesday for January February. We're new issue because we're all in that mode of two thousand twenty. Let's start fresh rush or continue to be fresh. I love Yeah so that's the biggest thing. We have some cool things. I'm sure everybody knows about neal. Barnard we love him him. He has a great piece in there about his new book coming out next month. I've got an right here the Vegan and starter. Kit Is that the one. That's no nothing new or one okay. Talks about hormones in particular because that's where he and in fact Ingrid newkirk hooked up and he's coming on the show They'll be like three weeks three weeks. Yeah so you'll have to be in studio is coming in a town for food is medicine as well. That's he's going to be one of the speakers and I'm going to moderate a panel discussion that they're having so nice federal the sponsor of that as well. We will be there excited and doctor Doctor Gregor involved as well he's He's I believe they're talking to him. We actually have an article on him as well in in the in the newish. Oh Nice he He we had him on the show. I'm going to say how long ago four or five years ago. The first time more years ago for his first book. Yeah I first I book. Yeah whenever that was I think about three years ago. He has a new How not to diet book coming out that he's GonNa come on the show and talk about how how nice to die it Pin Yup? Yeah I remember how not to die when it came out. I think it was Oh my Gosh Dr Mike Faster. That had a rebuttal for it And Yeah after I missed doctor. He was great on the air with us. He really was. I wonder what he's doing. We'll have to. We'll have to see what's up but It's always great to have our all. Oh you in Studio von England and yeah you'll have to jump on the air when Neil is in town when he's on the show I don't know if he's calling in he's going to be in studio but but you'll have to be here. Courtney Courtney Garza and Veg World magazine out there trying to educate the world about a lot of things that we need to know so all right. Well we're going to go to break. We've got a fantastic show coming coming up. We've got Dr Art Markman. Hd One of my favorite people to be on the air with. He is really a really nice guy. We're GONNA be talking about This topic of a blog. Ugh that he wrote you. Worry more about your significant other than yourself He's going to discuss that. And tell us why. And von Egeland. When is it time to bail out of a relationship ship interesting and I see a book that you have over there? What was it about trust? This is the science of crossed because that's at the foundation of every single relationship isn't it. Yeah all right. Everyone stay tuned. You're listening to one life radio in the demand signs. You've left it to just going to let this play for a minute side your uses. There's no time to find hours hours turning GonNa need to hear this going down to the sea Every child to help you. They love them Hotter and hotter. This is going to be on. Walk the line come on everybody. What is wrong with you know this song? Will you should know this song learning and I played it for Dr Art Markman Because he's a musician himself and I know that he knows and loves this song as well. Isn't that true. Dr Markman could be talking to. You could be talking to you too. I saw Jackson Browne and concert Over the holiday and he has not lost his voice. I'm happy to report. And he did an amazing mazing concert in Oklahoma I didn't I'm not particularly fond of Windstar but it was great to see Jackson That's the first time I was ever there. But it's so good good to have you with us today. Dr Markman offer those of you. Maybe who have not heard Dr Markman before he is the Annabelle Worship Centennial professor of psychology and marketing getting at the University of Texas at Austin he currently serves as a member of the editorial board of cognitive psychology and he is the author of bring your brain to work and he is a contributor contributor to psychology today. And you've written a lot of books that's just your most recent one right right. Yeah yeah a lot but And we appreciate got it and so today. We're talking about a blog that you wrote you. You worry more about your significant other than yourself can. Yeah that's so crazy and I read the blog and so can you share share the studies that suggest that people tend to worry more about their significant others than themselves. Why is that well? So it's it's really fascinating and so first of all it's just let's nail this phenomenon down right so so think about just simple things that someone might do that are potentially risky going out for a long drive late at night when it's raining being climbing on the rock somewhere things like that When you ask people how they themselves would feel about doing that themselves you no? They're they might they. Might you know if if it's dark and rainy you might think well. I'm a little nervous about doing this but I'm really not that worried about myself but then when you when you ask the same question about a significant other in your life you're much more worried you. You're much more concerned that they're going to have a problem. You're much less likely to want them to do it. But it's specific to the significant others in your life because if you ask them about somebody that they're not that close to they don't really care so much and it you know it it so it it it really. We is something specific to these people who are really important to you and your life. You worry more about them doing things then. You're even worried about yourself. Well I'm a mom so I always worry about my children. I think that's the most natural thing on earth. You want to protect them. That's what you do as a mom and dad but you know when I was reading this this blog blog that you wrote for psychology today the first question I thought of was gender. You know a is. Is this a gender thing to women worry more than men about so. Oh do women do wives worry more about their husbands than husbands. Worry about their wives so yeah good question you know. They did not find huge foods gender differences in this study. You know they. They looked for him But they didn't they didn't find big ones You know despite the fact if it culturally we tend to talk about it that way but but it it you know it and and so it you know the fact is that both you find the same aim affect both for men and women and You know I think I think there is a little bit of a tendency for men overall to be to worry less less overall about both themselves and others but but they're still this increase right so still no matter what your baseline level of being a worry here is. You're still more worried about the actions of your significant others so well. I'm a warrior. Oh my gosh. Like I'm such my dad used to do this thing Dr Markman. Every time I would go to Houston to visit him and I would leave to drive back to Dallas. Houston do this thing where he would bless me over the C- car bless me I. I actually think I've told you this before. And and it would be like. It's like a thirty second like dissertation. Yeah like ritual and I wish I would have recorded it and can remember it because it used to crack me up and I'd go dead. I'm going to be fine. Don't worry about it you know And so you know I. I'm a worrier like I tell my kids. Tell me as soon as you get home so I know when to quit worrying. You know things like that. It's Yeah I do think it is You know and and I think you know again I think there's there's there's big individual differences related to there's a the personality characteristic of neuroticism which is one of the big five personality. Characteristics is a is related to how much of worrier you are overall about things So there's there's definite individual differences but it's really common for people and To to be to to to worry a a lot particularly about what their significant others doing and you know listen my my my mom You know I'm I'm fifty three years old. My mom still wants me to let her her. No when I after. I've been traveling when I've got. Yeah she knows when to stop worrying yes exactly yeah. I think it's a it's a very common common thing to do. And and yeah and you know so one of the things you shouldn't do if you're a worrier is then to worry that you're not normal. Okay let's go to now uh-huh well so why do we always imagine the worst possible scenario. What's up with that? Why don't why humans do that? Well you know there's there's a little bit of adoptive value to some of this right. which is is? It's actually important to be aware of the things that that can go wrong so that you can plan for them before they derail what you're trying to accomplish and so And so you can understand why we would be really relieve vigilant for what could What could cause something to be a problem? And and whenever you focus on something that could go wrong. Then you engage. What's called avoidance motivation and the emotional response that goes along with avoidance motivation is stressing? ID and worry so. That's that's kind under the cycle that gets created. So it's a natural thing to do and it makes sense to do it to some degree but the hard part is to try to not let that become debilitating for things that you have absolutely no control. Yeah that's the key is to not let the fear takeover right and and paralyze you and it can it. Can you can snowball on you very quickly so you do have to learn to control it. We know what I was thinking also when I was reading this blog that you wrote why you worry more about your significant other than yourself. I asked myself the question actually a couple of times reading at is it codependency. Well it it can be right. I mean certainly look You know when you're in a close relationship with somebody it's it's natural to feel somewhat intertwined with them and in fact probably a healthy thing but but part of what you don't want to do is to allow your worries to drive what it is. Is that your significant others can and can't do. That's the place where it can be a real problems. If you think about parenting you know if if you as a parent of worrying about your kid that's that's a wonderful thing you certainly want to watch out for them and be vigilant. But you don't necessarily WanNa stop them from doing things that are normal developmentally appropriate appropriate things for them to be doing. Just because you're worried about it you have to suck it up and and just you know experience the anxiety for yourself not necessarily display it so much And and let your kids learn how to make some mistakes. Because I think you know we're we're living you know when we talk about helicopter parenting and things like things like that You know part of the danger is. We're not giving our kids enough opportunities to try things out for themselves themselves to make some mistakes and recover from those mistakes and you know The the occasional skinny Both literally and figuratively as is not a terrible thing. Yeah I'm trying to think of the book that we had Jonathan Height the author Jonathan hydrogen the show among howling of the American mind. We had both authors on the show and it was fascinating. It's it's a great book for anyone out out there that wants to really see what an impact it can have on a child in it's not good Than when they can't learn to navigate on their own. It's a it's a great read but tab so so does the amount of someone experiences depend on how happy they are with the person Does depend on your feeling of closeness in the relationship. At the moment there was one really clever version of this study where they did a little bit of a diary thing where they they tracked people over over a period of a couple of weeks and had them rate their level of anxiety of worry about people driving over that period of time and they were assessing moment by moment day by day. How close you fell to your significant other and there is a relationship so on those days when you're annoyed at your significant other you're less worried about? You might be wishing they get a flat tire out rewrite. Oh my Gosh Josh. Well what else do we need to know about this about this topic. And maybe some some tips of advice so we don't worry so much. Yeah I think that that the first thing to to to remember is it is. It is natural to do that and I think one of the things that you want to do is to remember that because you worry less about yourself in part because you you you have you have more perceived control over yourself than than over other people You one of the things that's useful to do is to say is to ask yourself okay. So I'm worried worried about my child or my romantic partner. Whatever it is doing this thing would I be worried about it if I was doing it myself? And if and if you wouldn't be he then then relax you know because because things are probably going to be fine and in the event that they weren't fine there wasn't anything you can do about it anyhow. Yeah that's true. I mean you know the old the you know. The classics Serenity Prayer is has a lot of wisdom and I think it's so important for us to recognize that when when there really isn't anything you can do about it then let it happen and and you know be you know. Give give a little little advice on the front end. If you need to where you can have some influence your your your mom to tell you to wear a sweater you know but but then but then let it go. Oh and and and let people do what they're gonNA do and and really face it to the other thing that's useful. Is You know recognize that. You're nervous let your let the people do what they're gonNa do and what you find. Is You actually start worrying a little bit less over time about them because you recognize. Oh that response wasn't actually useful and it's not healthy to worry. I'm thinking about even people that worry about infidelities in a relationship you know. That's a huge one and it. It affects the relationship for sure when someone is far. Are you jealous. Oh absolutely right. I mean that's the dangerous that you can start to do things that create you know if not self-fulfilling prophecies at least damage image the relationship I mean if you're constantly checking up on your significant other because you're you're worried about what they're doing whether it's infidelity or just just driving you know you're you're you're worried about them taking a drive at night. Well they're they're going to react to that. I buy reacting against you in some way. They're gonNA stop telling you when they're taking being a drive because they just don't want to deal with the worry so and so you you certainly want to to to to try to treat people you know and this again I gotta get back to this idea of treating yourself treating others the way you want to be treated and if you don't you don't want somebody who's second guessing every decision that you've made and where he is a former control at the end of the day right. Well look you are worry is all about I am concerned. There's GonNa be some negative outcome and so I want to try and stop. Stop that from happening. And if there's a if there's again if there's something that you could and should do about that negative outcome and do it but if not then don't allows that to affect your behavior and you know other people have to be able to guide their lives. You can't control what they're GONNA do. And if if you try to do it you drive them away. Absolutely the best advice. I is. Thank you so much always a pleasure to have you on the show. Always thank you so much Dr Markman recommend drag you burn down. It's so good to talk to you. Twenty twenty is wonderful for you and I look forward to talking to you against you too. I just I just love having him on you on the show. Yeah I'm speaking to the listeners. But always great. Thank you so much all right. Everyone we've got a great show continuing on von Egeland. Another one of my favorite shrinks shrinks out there. We're going to be talking about. When is it time to bail out of a relationship? Stay tuned everyone. You're listening to one life radio. A quantum saying it not for no happened Lewd Lou. The Queen Bee take your cousin. Oh my gosh everyone. Welcome back to one life radio. This is Vernon debt with diamond gray. Adriana Betty the Antos I've got lexi Brinkley. miked up now or hooked up and find Egeland before we get to the content. I want everyone know that you can go to our website. One Life Radio DOT DOT com to download and listen to our podcast subscribe to our newsletter. You can also listen to our podcast on apple podcast. Google podcast Sicher and or spotify or you go to iheartmedia dot com to listen live or download the free iheartradio APP and listen to us from anywhere in the world Just WanNa give a shout out again to our great sponsors companies like Sun Warrior Warrior Sun Warrior. You can get it at vitamin SHOPPE put in your smoothie. At smoothie King Son Warrior is a premium premium all natural raw superfood company dedicated to providing the best vegan plant based protein powders and supplements go to Sun Warrior Dot Com to learn more about all of their products and use use the code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off your order and no evil foods they make the best Plant alternative meat. They've actually won an award Through through Veg World magazine Courtney. Gars here at the Expo East last year. Right Courtney Yep there you go but you know great. Sponsors companies like like environmental I go to Veronica Dot Com tariff flora is the best probiotic on the market. You're taking it too. Aren't you need some more of do okay. So Well what happened was I was on a level Quinn antibiotic for like a month. Yeah and I had all these Adverse reactions in on that I could just nationally seem skin starting to clear open. My stomach started feeling better. I mean a lot of different things but it is a great appre. EMP Robotics. Yeah it is. It's in its symbiotic in is in tune with nature and that's why spore based And it's a great product so check it out at ENVIRO MEDICA DOT COM and of course crazy water Always great to you know Feed your body and your mind. You need all those minerals to be balanced and to be healthy so check them all out and Von England it is always good to have you in studio. Von Is a licensed professional counselor supervisor and and works with two group practices in the Dallas area. He is a certified couple relationship trainer and sees a wide range of clients addressing men's Issues Anger Management Abuse is an addiction. Just to name a few. He is also a doctoral candidate at the University of North Texas in the Counseling Higher Education Department his PhD research focuses focuses on couple relationships dialogue. And you can find him at Preston. PLACE COUNSELING DOT COM. That's Preston Place. COUNSELING DOT COM or follow him on instagram at Von Talks. Okay when is it time to bail out of relationship. Is Our topic today. Okay so this is a this is pretty intense. It is because you know the new year and everybody was looking for New Beginnings New Beginnings and ending question mark. So now I get it I do and so so how do you know a couple is heading toward the end of the relationship will a literally can tale based on my interview with them and so I am a certified in specific form of couples. Therapy Call Godman myth. A couple therapy Level went to not not not the full certification. However whenever I Interview a couple whenever they began talking. I'm looking at all these things from the subtle nuances to their story of like. What are they saying? And I'm asking all these open ended questions for instance like what were your first impressions of each other like whenever you I saw your partner. What did you think Now the more memory the more detailed explanation they give me the more Emphasis put on their pass. The more the telling me that they were really invested in their relationship initially when they first met so so the memories especially for the guys a lot of times. One of the questions is guys. Hey what was she wearing the first time you saw her if he can give me a detailed explanation. That's a good thing because guys sometimes don't have as detail of memory as women do yes so so I'm asking all these open ended questions like was it easy decision. Where you guys ever in love you know Like why have you stayed together. And the more I see what I call fondness admiration within their system positively positive Afric within their system. They're looking back on their on their past. Like you know what we made it through. We survived laughed A difficult time than telling me that they have a positive memory within their relationship and that they're probably more stable than another relationship who does not have a positive memory And does not have this system or what we call on this so with each other. So That's interesting really interesting. So I have all kinds of thoughts if a guy the first thing if he can remember more what if he's is a narcissist and he could care less than you're just another you know clicking his belt whatever that expression in his belt or not. You know what we're GONNA do a store we we we do another topic on Narcissism Because narcissist they tend to move into a relationship really quickly of course they do. And so. You're just you're there are only player while you what is it. What's the worst play when they're playing? It's a Stevie Nicks Song players only love you when they're playing dreams uh-huh yeah yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah Yeah I think so what. You're telling me love you when they when they're playing. When it's raining I gotcha so for me? I like to say most guys. Don't you don't have to be narcissistic for this. But for guys a lot of times through his in the chase not the Keel again. So we're going to pursue and then once we get you you know we got you kinda deal so interesting but with nurses you might find yourself married within like six months or something like that so because they want to move quickly so you don't see all the other parts of their personnel. Yeah so that's kind of scary tap the breaks up the bruce the so you're going to make you the only one in this world that is so important and then once they get married till you all of a sudden they treat you like crap so interesting. So how'd you memories affect couples couple relationship so when we're talking about memory so every couple brings memory to relationship in. That memory is highly valuable and like I was saying earlier that the more detail they bring the better because when they have a lot of detail that means they were highly invested inside the relationship so modern neural cell size is really teasing us. Like like the difference between implicit versus Memories of explicit memories a memories that Aveer conscious implicit memories are not as conscious. So you know you won't be totally conscious of them however your Your your brain will start to formulate a specific pattern based on the interactions that you've had with this person so if I have a lot of positive interactions with you all of a sudden. My implicit memory is GonNa create like a code or like this is how my interactions with this person. And you develop a positive affect or positive feeling a positive thought about that person so whenever we're talking about couple a couple so you've heard me say this ratio a Lotta Times that many stable couples have a five to one positive to negative interaction ratio and whenever ratio falls below five to one like four three or two one. At least one person. Erzen says hey you know what I'm unhappy in this relationship and whenever that ratio like they have at least one negative interaction among themselves as positive like with one positive interaction and then you start to see the relationships deteriorate and dissolution divorce of the relationship is pretty imminent if that makes sense. So they're going to dissolve the relationship or if they say together they're going to be pretty unhappy. So what that means. Is that whenever you have. All these interactions. We talked about the emotional bank account. That emotional bank account is forming specific. Way You look at that person in do you have what we call positive affects. So are you thinking about your partner positively when they aren't around and or rather do you have negative ethic. Are you thinking negatively about them. Whenever the they're not around also what happens is whenever you have this certain thought you interact with them? Then you're going to react to them based on that thought so we have kind of like when little little things start bothering you got it. That's when it's like it's over. We'll I'll say this is a lot of times. There's a lot of small. There's a lot of money taken out the emotional bank account and then I start to view in a very negative light so in his interview. My couples I can really see like are they looking at each other in a negative light. And whenever you do that your partners no longer your teammate. There now your adversary there someone you need to protect yourself from. Because they're not safe and so again when all these interactions they really add up to form a specific memory. That you're going to have about this person and that memory is typically not only explicit but implicit as well I see you're listening intently over there Lexie with what's going through your head over there. I well I had a question from something you said. In the beginning was men detailing what they saw like what their date was wearing on their first date. You want to know if you know what your wife was wearing. Only okay. She had she had on blue jeans and a white shirt. It was moving day at the University of North Texas. Maple Hall I was out you know the story. I was dating another young lady at the same time we know player there will be no. I'll I'll say yes she did she. Ah Fatty she did. She did so in order to be with her. I had to change. I'll say it like that. I think there's a better way to put it. But here's the interesting question. So can a Guy Love Love you enough to actually change his theory. And what motivates him to do motivates him to do that. Yeah I think at the end of the day I like to say this so when I say hats you on the Husky so change happens always say the two factors for change one willingness and then to capability in. So is that person same willing to change is. I can't answer that question. Only that person can do it like if I have a couple of comes from office. I can't do the work for you. You'RE GONNA have to gain the skills that you're going to have to learn how to listen. You're going to have to learn how to self soothe within in your conflict. You're going to have to learn how to reach you. Know like build your skill set within communication. I can't do it for you. I can give you the road map but you gotta be willing now. The other part is capability. And that's the part that gets Kinda here like the mood disorder like narcissism can. They recognize their lack of awareness. Like do they have the capability can more I. Don't you know that I was a little narcissistic but I tend to believe this. That people can change when they're willing and they are capable. Most people have greater capability and capacity than they give themselves credit for. At least. That's my personal personal opinion but again there are circumstances where people can't be capable. I I like to use this example. That Bernadette Hey if I tell you dunk a basketball and you had a willingness in the world to workout for years and years and years you're five to five three five three three of the records I got. The three quarters is important. I used to be you know. Every guy usually says the two inches taller but in women usually anyways. That's another a subject. But here's the thing you can have all the willingness in the world but you probably never going to be able to Deng basketball because you don't have the capability. Sorry about that so okay so so so you got to have those things in order to change so my wife was a big enough. Why in order in order for me to figure out how like okay? I need to figure out how I need to change. In order to get her to snacker snacker in his well worth it so what respects he did in love and respect. You'll hand in hand respect for women. I had respect another areas but definitely more respect for women so all right well I love your authenticity and I do. I know people out there listening. Appreciate it as well. So we're GONNA talk more with von Linne about. When is it time to bail out of a relationship? We'll be right back. You're listening to one life radio uh-huh welcome back to what life radio everyone. This is Bernadette with diamond gray. Viana Betty Antos got lexi Brinkley studio today and von Egeland. We're talking about. When is it time to bail out of a relationship so you know? Let's talk about emotional atonement yoga. Yeah what is it and how can you achieve it. So emotional tumen it really kind of boils down to trust because because there are two foundational things that really ever relationship has to have the first thing is commitment so you gotta be committed to your partner. You say that you know what come hell or high water. I'm in it to win it. I'm not going going anywhere. And whenever you have that you know that you have something to work with so The other component is trust in. So we've talked about this before that trust comes in many different forms in a relationship. It's very possible to trust somebody in one area however not trust them in another area so you not trust with the key is i. Don't trust that you're going to be You know I guess loyal and faithful to emme sexually trust you in that area but I don't trust you with finances. I trust you in that area. I don't trust you with my in laws are trust your area and so forth so You whenever you have trust trust in emotional atonement that means that you feel A certain level of trust that comes over time now. When we're talking about over time we have these things called L. sliding door moments? So that means that you open the door you kind of pick out and you see that. Hey you know what I can trust you. You kind of take that data data point of that behavior in your mind and then you start to develop a sense sense of trust and so emotional. Tumen occurs also whenever couples. Whenever they experienced things they experienced things at the same time in the same way? There's this idea of what we call a witness us against the world versus meanness. If even if you look at the transcripts like whenever you transcribe and analyze the conversation between couples that whenever a couple has a lot of weakness they say our you know us. We're having a baby you know so versus meanness and they're saying I me mine all that kind of stuff like this. So when you see that kind of language e even when you transcribe the you know the dialogue between a couple you tell me how together you guys are is there. Is there emotional to do you see things the same way so well. How does conflict play role in ending relationships so we talked about conflict and we talked about the five of the one positive to negative interaction rate show but there are different types of conflict? And when there's too much or there's abuse and relationship you know that means that relationship probably needs to because there are different types of emotional abuse that couples need to be on lookout for everything from gas lighting humiliating the other person to social control social social isolation sexual coercion. Different things like personal attacks like those things or not healthy relationships and most couples sometimes like a lot of couples. Don't know how to fight and they don't know how to fight fair so so when there's too much conflict in a relationship that is not a good thing and again you WanNa have at least a five to one positive to negative interaction. Recall how I have one more question because what we Yes so when should listeners. Bail out of the relationship. Lusa bill to relationship. When you can't trust your partner you can't be transparent You know the relationship is not hitting in the same direction direction. Like the other person wants something that you don't like say they won't keys and you don't want kids again. You gotta be hidden in the same direction at today is not going to work well. We're going to talk more about it the next time you're in studio radio always a pleasure. Thank you so much on England everyone out there. Thank you so much for listening how hello to our listeners in southern California Gay You know what It's been a great show. I've really enjoyed it. I don't know what I WANNA do. I WanNa Thank Wild Foods Co.. And they have A. That's our newest sponsor. Check it out. It's Wild Foods Dot C._O.. They have a code one life. Check it out great products. Everyone Great Company. You get one body you get one mind and you get one life get out there today and make the most of it.

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WWHL @ Home: Bravo Blasts From The Past: Real Housewives

Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen

38:31 min | Last week

WWHL @ Home: Bravo Blasts From The Past: Real Housewives

"We are streaming only on peop- a new comedy about a ninety throwback girls five book again everybody sing from your diaphragm which one girls five other all food streaming now only on peacock welcome to the bravo clubhouse for the podcast addition. Watch what happens. Live with me andy cohen. We're satisfying your bravo hunger with past housewives. Who look younger. It's bravo blast from the past real housewives edition on watch. What happens live now us. Hey everybody guys got your here for a good one audience. Welcome to watch what happens live. I'm your host. Andy cohen continuing are amazing. Bravo party week with six of your favorite former housewives. They're ready to check in so in the words of one of my guests now chapel. When we first asked my where we met my first gas she sat i loved. I loved the jewelry. I love it all but who would have thought that that list would later include slade smiley. Welcome overseas gretchen rossi. Hey crutch and great to see you look like a million dollars. Nuts guess runs with a fabulous circle of people skate circles around the ball. It's oh gee. New york housewife chills. Aaron age aaron love seeing you. Everybody knows my next guest as the southern bali brought brains business and donkeys booty to the real housewives of atlanta. It is vedro parks fade. I love your luck look great. Oh my god. I'm so happy to see you. She said fool me once. Shame on me. Fool me twice. You better ride which is probably one of the sweet lessons. She's passing on these days as grandma. What former real housewives of new jersey jacqueline loretta. Wow that's the. That's the hottest grandma. I've ever seen jacqueline great to see you. We can never get enough enough of my next guest. It's former beverly hills housewife taylor. Armstrong eight taylor. Oh i got to see you and speaking speaking five languages sounds hard. My next gus doesn't mind. Because if she wants told me she likes hard things it's miami's adriana damara. Hey adrianna to see excited to see all of you. I want to start this party by taking the weight off our shoulders. No we're not changing into our sky. Tops. we're going to address top questions. People have for each of you. It's time for a clubhouse. Quickey gretchen big question for you do you. Enslave ever plan to get married. Are you in or are you content in your current arrangement really are very content in our current arrangement. And the way i look at it looking. Goldie and kurt are over farmers go. I love the golden kurt model. Jill do you think you and bethany will ever have a friendship. No doubt out there. You go Fade drug. Do you think there's any possibility of you and candy ever making amends both very strong powerful black women so you know an atom bomb. We both mom accused my sister's sake the resolve anything and so i would never say that resolution is always possible in every scenario. I love that. Take that mr president jacqueline. You've been doing incredible work in raising awareness on autism. How is nicholas journey. Sent me an video the other day. Yeah because my my instagram. You'll see singing frank sinatra so for from a little boy who wasn't saying any words he's singing complete songs now and he's doing really well. How old is he. He is in june. He's going to be twelve already wa. I'm scared of the team. I know jordan amazing jock or you still in contact with dina or are you not as well. I'm not denying. I have text a couple times when there's like you know the death of our father my father-in-law we are in texas than chris is. Talk to her seeing her. Oh good it turns. I would say good. I'm happy to hear that taylor. How his kennedy. And how old is kennedy. she's awesome. she's fifteen so bad days. What do you make of kyle and vanderpump friendship ending. Were you surprised so hard for me. That and i know fresher that they both felt it was heartbreaking adriana so sorry to learn last year that you and your husband frederick separated. Are you seeing anyone now. Yes he was said. But i'm now nearly single ready to mingle all right. Watch out miami ear. See is now that you're all far from the middle of the drama. It's definitely time to madel. I want to get your thoughts on recent happenings on your former shows gretchen. Whose departure shocked you more. Vicky or tamra. Maybe because i got for her she would be on eight jill. Who's changed the most in the rony calf. Since you left a news change. The least. I don't know i think they're pretty accurate to what they were then but i would say. Ramona ramona's change the most. Or the least yes. Okay i do for the better. Joe definitely i think he looks great. Okay do badri. does it surprise you. That candy was able to forgive porsche and for a renewed friendship with her. Not at all. I mean not at all i mean anything can happen. Bravo everybody knows. Okay it does jacqueline. Do you think theresa should show more loyalty towards her brother over her ex husband. It's tough because it's the father of your kids and your brother. Do you think right when you think you think you and theresa could ever be friends again. I mean do i want to. I mean not really but never say never. He's never know what's going to happen. You know taylor. How did you feel watching the dynamic become everyone versus l. vp. I was quite surprised. I never thought that that would happen. Who side were you on their on. My gosh you're gonna make me pick sides no thank you audreatta. Which original miami. How do you think is thirstiest for a return to the spotlight okay. I'd say i'll say myself. I loved ones. I'm pretty thirsty. Okay all right. I love it. But we all interact with taylor on our phones every day because she's pointing at a cat in what seems to be the world's most popular meam. What was your reaction to that. By the way taylor i. It's been so strange. I've done so many interviews about it and i still don't get it. I don't know who created it I have had a phone conversation with nudged the cat. And i just laugh and long i did two interviews about it yesterday and this is never can end. How often you all connect with the other wives from your shows. I wanna play a game. That will answer that question. Do you talk to her. These slot machine in my monitor will reveal three housewives for each of you. Tell me when you last spoke to the people. Uc gretchen your first. Let's spin the wheel gretchen. When is the last time you spoke to tamra. Never and thank god heather dubrow. When i had guidance she text me. Alexis vila lido when she came on your show and she was talking about the letter she said. Cute for the reunion regarding. Oh right. I remember that okay. Next kills aaron. Spin that wheel jill. Last time you spoke to bethany frankel all the last time i actually spoke to was probably right after. Bobby's funeral okay. Alex mccord Also like around that time around that time and kelly. Bensimon youtuber in touch. Aren't you yeah. I spoke to her last week. I'm so proud of her. You know she's she's doing amazing. Douglas element of so fast as a realtor. How do you think How do you think ramona's going to do as a realtor by the way jill. She wants anything she wants to put her mind to. She will be successful very good. Okay favors snacks fader. When is the last time you spoke to. Sharon just came over for them. We were just using my house. Yeah oh today. How about kenya. We speak on social media. That i haven't seen by the way she is. She has set recently to a couple of times. She regrets her behavior towards apollo. What was your reaction to that I mean i. I totally agree with it. I mean i feel good that he recognized. But i think sometimes you don't recognize these until you in the position and so he's a mom a wife or was a wife. I'm not fooling bread. Growth is possible for everybody. So i was really excited when they brought my Tell me when the last time you spoke to. Kim zolciak here minutes. I haven't touch basis with him in. Wow i mean we live on two different. Sounds out to two different sides town. Metaphorically and literally jacqueline's turn spin it jacqueline. When was the last time you spoke to melissa gorgon. Probably the reunion. Okay man so we said you guys texted recently ish danielle stout season to okay. Wow okay taylor. Let's bennett for you last time you spoke to randy gambill never bank. Kim richards nonsense. We stopped filming again. Thank you for that camille. Grammer i every once in a while will. Dm each other Adrian and camille title on social media. Okay last but not least we're going to spin it for adriana adriana. When was you spoke to lebron not seen still last season ended. Wow not since that reunion. that was Warfare about alexia alexia texted nine. Then you know as she each other. Merry christmas happy new year. How you're doing. Let's launch nine. Then how about mirasol very so. I just texted her less speak on regulating her her marriage very all right. Thank you very much. Ladies for indulging me joe. Zehr house married life married. Oh you're not mayor. Oh you guys are not not married. Sorry oh my god oh okay so will you get. I guess you won't get married. I guess i know right you've done. I love gary love. Gary i just don't think i wanna get married. You're such a good couple gretchen. We got a lot of questions from people thinking that you over. Filter your pictures on instagram. And i mean. I'm looking at you now with no filters you don't need a filter man. You're look at you. Everybody uses filters so. I think it's hilarious. I'm the only one that they like. Bay they call out for that because every person under the sun uses the filter. Tell me one person that got on. Well all i'm saying is you looked exactly number one question also for all of you was. Raise your hand if you were asked if you would ever return to the housewives as a regular cast member. Raise your hand. If you would consider it god no adriana taylor jay z. You wouldn't consider okay faye dress and is up a little. Maybe jay z wouldn't consider it. I just want to be a friend you just want to be. I'm going to say that gretchen would say it would depend. Who else's on my right down in the money and yeah ok jaclyn. You're your content in vegas. He wants to anchor. vegas housewives. use it you want to produce. Oh my god. I love it okay tonight. The bravo universe converged. But if we try to find a universal opinion will vera part. I wanna find out with one to agree or disagree in bravo history. I'm gonna make a statement. I'm gonna countdown one to agree or disagree. Hold up your signs. We're gonna see how many opinions you share okay. Number one jersey housewife did tip off the feds. Teresa and joe jude is one to agree or disagree. You all disagree including jacqueline the rita. Okay very good. Ramona is correct in saying roni. Put the housewives on the map not now lies. Orange county one to agree or disagree. Quick disagree from gretchen and zero. Okay question number. Three vedro parks delivers better. Reads then kanye more one to agree or disagree. Agree from agree. I gotta tell you some. She's the queen of the read. Okay number four mama. Elsa was the real star of the house of miami wants to agree or disagree. Quick agree from grach. Even even adrianna agrees and i agreed to. Everybody agrees. okay. Carolina theresa will never be friends again. One to agree or disagree in quick agree. Oh my god disagree from jock really. I think if they were put together. I think it would stake happened. Okay number. six taylor. Armstrong's cat meme is the most my roll moment in housewives. History one to agree or disagree to be quick agrees for everybody little mini signs. Taylor okay. I can name one real housewives song that i genuinely think is a good song to agree or disagree gretchen. Agrees conveyed says no okay. Adriana wh what do you agree with my song yes. Now yes audrey honest with the into encroaching who's is yours to see my candy. I mean come on yes. Amazing right okay. I am much happier now that i am not on the housewives. Want to agree or disagree. Quick agree from vedro. Everybody agrees. Except audrey oughta i love you adriana for your honesty their number nine it is a punk to not show up to a reunion one to agree or disagree. Everybody agrees except for jack. Jack didn't show up once. that's hilarious. Yeah that was a punk move. I was not happy about that. Okay number ten. You shouldn't say anything. In a confessional. About a fellow wife that you wouldn say to her face one to agree or disagree every but oh gills aaron. I love it since each of you wrote such an important chapter in the housewives cannon before we close the book tonight. I wanna make sure that i give you the final word on the street. I wanna go around each of you are going to have the floor to put one topic of your choosing to bed. Whatever you want to say to close it out. We're going to start with gretchen. And either so many lies and manipulation. That was that about me which is often been proven to be untrue. Thankfully happy. I mean if my my relationship still and i think that alone speaks for itself and i think that's the final very good. Thank you gretchen gills. Aaron so i think what. I would want to say that if i could go back on the show. The one thing that i would change is not leaving. Ramona's apartment without resolving my with bethany i. I wanted to do it off camera and she wanted to do it on camera and i just couldn't see straight that was one Fajor parks you're up. You know what Up the rumors and misconceptions help people become relevant. And if the people aren't talking honey you're not important so i don't clear clear anything good. I k- jacqueline morita. I feel the same when you're filming the show. And it's airing. You're watching it and all the editing when you know what really happened in your seem viewers comments. You are have this urge to just jump in and defend ourselves but once you once you leave this show and you kind of see it from a different perspective and i don't really care declare anything you want. My reality is always been be my reality right. Okay taylor armstrong say the one thing i would change about my past of course is not being in an abusive relationship but also that i would have had a support system at home. I feel like. I would have been a lot better a lot. More controversy on this show between the cast members. If i didn't have to go home to so much stress and anxiety living that while you're filming and then going home. I wish i would have had a kyle or a ken to go home tip. Yeah well by the way. I'm so happy for your happy ending. Taylor you so deserve it. I mean you really do adriana well. I'm brazilian. everybody knows and we are very passionate people. I do have a fiery personality. And i tend to call people out and identity blunt and say what before thinking however. I'm actually kind loyal friends all right. Thank you very much. We're going to leave it there. I wanna thank crushing gylfi jacqueline taylor and adriana for being we got a whopper of an after show coming up right. Now go to twitter live. And we're going to keep this party going will see a sunday night with the kids of the housewives canadian. I found it incredible website. You just have to check out nuts. Dot com is the best. Kept secret of savvy smackers across the country. It's the simple and convenient way to have nutritious delicious healthy nuts dried fruit flowers grains and so many other high quality foods delivered straight to your door. They have over four thousand products to choose from like white chocolate toffee cashews bourbon pecans crystallized ginger and my personal favorite honey sesame sticks nuts dot com isn't just not lovers it's your one stop online pantry shop. They have an incredible variety available including candies dried fruits and pantry items like baking mixes pasta and more get fresher products than the supermarket with nuts dot com new nuts dot com customers. Get free shipping on your first order when you text podcast to sixty four thousand so tech's podcast a sixty four thousand to get free shipping on your first order from nuts dot com. That's podcast to sixty four thousand term supply available at nuts dot com slash terms audience. Afraid show in rossi. Joe's aaron fada parks jacqueline the rita taylor armstrong adriana demoura housewives all stars in so excited someone's gonna wind chills room. Who is allison gary. Oh my god two year olds. Gerry's plant excellent. Okay wanna go to virtual audience christian as a question for gretchen. Hi chris christian great. Hi mr instagram blow. That is so good before we have to eat the anti whatever you are in what we're la happens live and you got slapped running down the aisle that was me. I'm sorry oh my god dude. That was iconic. That was amazing. We just played the clip like a week or two ago. I love indeed. You're a friend of the show and look at your sweat shirt. I love it also. Oh my god okay. What's in for gretchen gretchen. On since you denied elaborate proposal to slade was just for the show. How do you look back on that moment since you who still aren't married still you know it's interesting. They asked this question because when we ended up what we actually had a date on calendar. I don't know if you guys know that but we had a date on calendar slade. Got to go down to film for the history channel and so we actually make a joke that we missed her own wedding but the truth is is that we got really focused on idea. It's very expensive to do i via and so we just focused on that and the truth is like i said earlier. We are happy and content in our relationship. And you're just like the lgbtq community make you guy but just like the lgbtq community for years. They have been able to be married. So does that mean they're not love. Does it mean that their relationship is fake. No well but we can get married now and maybe i will get married one day soon. You know what. I mean but right now just on the track the priority list of you got it. Well you have your beautiful daughter skyler who is so. I mean soa any graduate. Are you gonna put schuyler and katie pageants be honest. He should indian sorry. Cut out. are you going to put. Are you gonna put schuyler and kiddie pageants gretchen. I'm not planning on it. No she is beautiful little girl whenever she wants to do what i'm gonna do. You know that. I would love it when you would bring me like pageant gretchen. Yeah i know. I do today us. Yes you really really great okay. Jennifer question for anti. Hey how are you beautiful wonderful. You will so beautiful. Hope and mr president are well awesome. Thank you for tell them. I said i fe dra. We really will good. We have to know. What was your reaction to mark and ken. I'm sorry kenya announcing their divorce You know marriage is sacred. And i would not the anyone marriage And so i mean. I didn't know him personally but i just know it's tough and so You know if you can make it work. I would love to see everyone's work but if you can't you know peace is always pama by the way if adria bolo made an appearance this season and you know you were the person who brought ridiculous onto you brought ridiculous onto atlanta outsides. I i'm wondering did you. Below you ever met him bono to the housewives as well. Are you kidding me. I'm not kidding. You brought to the house for the tag date. When i made candy. Okay oh my god. That's amazing okay. Well okay we got to dig that up. Okay danny has a question for taylor to your perry loves you and the loved to be pen pals with ben there but taylor honor to speak to the mean herself question. What was actually when you heard capi. Colton was going to be joining the cast of real housewives of beverly hills. And do you think it might put a strain on her relationship like it did with kim. I always thought kathy should be on the housewives. She's got all the characteristics strong woman and she has all the glam and the bullying and everything so she fits right in. I love kathy and fit. It will cause some challenges between their relationship. Unfortunately all right. Jacqueline do you. Jill h facebook. Wants to know if you still keep in touch with rosie in the wake healy's at all. I do matter of fact that are coming out here next month. And i'm going to meet up with them. How is life in vegas. Are you enjoying it. andy. I love it it. The weather's beautiful. I have my parents out here. I have my brother and his family out here. My cousins old friends chris's brother. I mean it's close to everything it it's been great. Wow that's for a while. And then she's back with her husband in new jersey so at one point everybody there. Real max. Roach tweeted adriana. What's your favorite memory from the original three seasons of miami. And what do you think of the news of the reboot. My wedding was a beautiful thing and even though it didn't work i still cherish the memory. My son walking down. The iowa was a big thing for me. Yes and. I'm excited that you know miami's coming back. So how is your son by the way. How old is he now. My son is in collins. Believe it or not that's a me. Thank you virtual audience. This reunion warmed hearts but it has nothing on the hot seat. I'm about to find myself in. It's time for ask andy anything. Each of you can ask me any one question question. Matter how point We're going to. Let's start with adriana. Actually i'm gonna go around the other direction adriana right something. The past in the bb previous the bb era wrench. I call before band era. You are saying that you were looking for lung. And i'm sure you have founding band. The greatest love of all stays allow. Ben your child elaborate besides ben. Is there any new man in your life. there is not. I would be happy to report that there was but there isn't there needs to be daddy's here. You know that period between bedtime and my bedtime. I need something. Yeah andy now. That i raise my marry me. I don't think it would be. I don't think i would be physically satisfying to you audreatta. Though you and i do love flirting with you. I have to say always taylor. I was curious i know. Originally you thought bat. Beverly hills wasn't going to be it was so county and that would be the same over the years. Have you seen stark contrast between beverly hills in orange county and are you glad that you finally beverly hills on the map. Yes i was wrong about that. There's a long list of things that i was wrong about And i was wrong about that. I have to say what's don't par. Vanderpump was a big tipping point for me on the casting. I feel like when i saw her that. I started to get like dynasty vibes and i was like wait a minute. I think i might be wrong about this. So yes. I was. Totally wrong about that jacqueline. I can't wait to hear what you have. Okay so now you've become a parent to this beautiful little boy ben. Would you ever want your parenting or your son to be exposed on a reality tv show knowing that editing might highlight your most challenging moments a hundred percent i would not chocolate. I give it up to all of you. do you understand now. How parenting something housewives to drink. Yes yes yes absolutely. Everybody knows favor parks is next my okay so high not recently. You did a whole anthology about the history of reality shows but it appears you omitted three people who were instrumental in reality of myself. One data deli in baker sentences were instrumental in the being bobby brown still so we are the blueprint of reality shift so you wanna know why they were left. I mean i know trae. I know tracy is really pissed and i love tracy and i love being bobby brown and i met you when you represented bobby brown and the truth of the matter is i. Don't bought being bobby. Brown should have been in that celeb- reality our we did. It was like one of the highest rated shows ever on bravo and it was incredible however one issue there it is and i think you know the and i think you know this. It is almost impossible to find clips of that show. Because the whitney houston estate has totally locked up the licensing for clips on that show and you. I don't believe we actually would have been able to show that show do you. You didn't call me. I think we would have made it happen all right of by the way. Let me just say that was a great mistake on our part. Yes it was. It was bad. It was bad as soon. My agent told me heard from tracy and i was like. She's absolutely right. It was like we should have. But i did say. I don't think we would've been able to clear the clips. Because i think the whitney estate wouldn't have given them to us but anyway joe's aaron there's too many i need my own show for this and when you put my name on that one too. I think texted you. I said okay so this is going to be kind of. Did you touch to me to me saying why weren't you in it. Yes yeah yes you wouldn't have. I know doesn't matter. It's all good okay but you know i love to get you on all these little things ride text you so fans fans have been non stop texting me and you know i would never ask you but allison watson now why. She wasn't included in sunday night. Special of kids. But i will say it was me. It was me everybody's asking you. It was made. It was still who asked. You have already asked me that. And of course you by the way we love. Allie and allie was so iconic on the housewives of new york. And she's so funny on instagram. I've seen her on instagram. And the truth is and what i told you then and by the way god bless you for asking. Of course you ask. Why wouldn't you ask you to a great business together. You've sent me these amazing mass youtube or making them together. You make all this stuff. And it's a huge out by the way everybody's loving them but the answer is we. We had thirteen kids. We just didn't have room. We didn't have we didn't have no l. or we didn't have kids. I mean it was. There were a lot of people who were left out. So yeah i i know okay. Last up gretchen. Oh my god. I don't know what this is going to be having a long do. Just why on the thing that got me the most like just between you and me. We had a good relationship. I think the thing that hurt me the most my honest was all of the girls on the show. You know put out to the press or accused and having eight relationships and that was really hard on me and then when i saw you go on the season eight episode and kind of make reference to that. That really hurt me. Because i just felt like that was a sacred between play tonight. I just feel like you know all the crafts. The girls penelas one thing so i just curious if you ever. Do you feel bad about that now. Looking back and seeing how slade. And i have been together now. Twelve years the girls author relationship that they were in at the time or no than those relationships. You know what. I mean like it make you go back. And maybe the grows burn not right about clearly. I was wrong first of all second of all I thought initially that. I did at the beginning. Think that slade was possibly dating. You like to be on the show or something. And i loved it. I i was like this is like the greatest thing advert because now mean i just thought it was crazy that he dated to other housewives and i thought it was kind of incredible for the show so i loved it but yes. I think that i did question it. And that i definitely did at the time that your was like made-for-tv like that you did this whole engagement for tv and cinch turned out married still. I don't totally know if it was for tv or not. But clearly i was wrong about your relationship because here you are and you have a child and you're very happy and i think you'll be together forever so i definitely i definitely copter and i'm sorry that i hurt your feelings and that's what it was based on. Yeah because none of the engagement. None of that was fake. It really was like truly one of the most special moments of my lights. So i think that's why we're so tore up about it. You know what. I mean really just a very special day for me so well. I'm glad you're still together and send my regards to slave and I want to thank all of you. This has been so fun. Really thank you all for. I think the fans are so excited to see you. I wanna take gretchen. Jail favorite jacqueline's ayler and adriana for more click around barak dot com. Thank you ladies. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Everybody hope you enjoyed the show. Remember new episodes. Go live monday through friday at four. Pm eastern time. Make sure your subscribe to have a great rest of your life.

gretchen taylor jacqueline adriana andy cohen miami theresa jill Bravo party tamra slade smiley gretchen rossi jacqueline loretta aaron adriana damara Quickey gretchen mr president jacqueline nicholas journey vanderpump adrianna
MSG014: Chinese Fashion Slang (Adrianna)

Mandarin Slang Guide

28:20 min | 1 year ago

MSG014: Chinese Fashion Slang (Adrianna)

"Hey everybody we have a cold open today because I have some great news are we chat. Group has almost reached one hundred members. Now if you're not in this group you're we don't want to get in there. It's a great place to ask me questions. SA- great place to ask some of our guests. Some questions of the guests are in that group. And if you have any questions about Chinese general just bring him to the group and we will do our best to solve those for you so if you want to be our one hundred member just get on each at and search for MSG podcast add cast. That's all one word and lower case and add me and then I'll pull you into the group again that's MSG podcast all one word lower case so see you in the group and now let's start the show so low light mandarin slaying guide MSG. The Chinese learning. podcast asked that tastes great and probably. Isn't all that bad for you. I'm Josh Davis bringing you the most delicious Chinese expressions that aren't in in your textbook this week on. MSG were talking about. Fashion and I was delighted to sit down with Fashion Blogger Adriana. Who sometimes goes by Milan for reasons? I shall explain later and now I am not a fashion dude. By any means I only met Adriana by chance. Thanks to Steve Scher. who was on a previous episode of MSG? And thanks again. Steve for that introduction because Adriana was a lot of fun to talk to you and she gives a great inside look at what it takes to be a fashion blogger as well as some very useful fashion and style slang and Mandarin Gendron so without further Ado Ladies and Gentlemen Adriana Adriana. Could you tell us what do you do so so the technical name of my job is Ko L. which is a key opinion leader Basically I'm a person that has a lot of influence flings. I have a lot of followers. A lot of people follow me for advise Beauty ideas fashion. Inspirations stuff like that so bats like what I do but at the same time I'm a content creator also produce a photo shoes and videos and Yeah a lot of creativity creativity involved in my job so if I have to give a real job description for my specific job I would say. I'm a content creator Istat Bill. What platforms are you? Can we see your content. You can't see me on instagram and way ball. Wabel is like my main platform. I put more effort on there but instagram is like my little hidden corner that I just know everything. So if you want the real story. Oh yeah absolutely come on instagram. You know. Follow my starry apples. A lot of food. Workout and Just you know life. So what are you called on on instagram. Sorry on a way. I'll way ball. It's more the malign Shaw Molina's Chinese and the and show is in English. The yes loulan. Chinese characters S. H. O. W.. Yes and Mulan. Why did you choose the name Moulana? So basically what I I start. Blogging like I use my real real name Adriana and if CJ nobody can really pronounce that life for change that's kind of a hard name to pronounce guess and and People kept commenting and telling me that. I looked like Milan. I was like Oh out his name. And it's easy to remember and you know a lot of people think look look like them Disney princess which is fascinating. I don't think real human being can look like a two D. cartoon character. Well if you remember me like that co you and I like Molyneaux so you mentioned that your content Creator yes and when we were talking before the show. You mentioned that you are at Fashion Week Right. How how was that? It was intense. Not GonNa lie as it's not as fun as it seem like. It's not as fun as you. You know if you see my videos. Oh my gosh that is so so cool you always a show after parties are meeting all these celebrities and you're taking pictures you know people just like go up to you. Take a picture of of you. Who are you wearing like that's like the highlights of it for me is like I always get sick during fashion because like you fly from Shanghai to like like New York and then the weather changed times on change? You're tired and then you know. Of course New York you have to go. Yeah and then you know you're so tired and you still have to wake up early in the morning. Show show up taking pictures looking your best and you you know getting ready to be taking pictures for me like I do it quicker now than before but it's still like a process you know you get your hair. Skincare makeup COBB. Choose your outfits and all that takes time and there's a lot of time into and and it's like really tiring it's not easy to look this good. I mean to the looking good part is not the hardest part. The the hardest part is to like be able to look good seven days in a row and when you had no sleep deep South looks good for seven days twenty four hours a day. Yeah you know you WanNa look good when you're shows because people are going to be taking pictures of you you know in the club because you know right next to you could be white g and some other people you follow instagram. Like you have to look arrest and That's almost like all the time in fashion week so you barely have any time to sleep and the traffic's really insane so sometime you always. I have to be prepared for the worst. It could be taking subways and you know sample close and hills and yeah it's it's it's pretty crazy. One thing that I wanna ask you about is I've seen articles. I don't read a lot of articles I can't read. I'm illiterate. That was a joke. Occasionally people talk about the upcoming fashion world in China. But I'm curious. What's it like on the ground? What are the differences between the Chinese fashion world and the Western fast? Or let's say specifically the New York fashion world. I would say act the interesting talking about that because like me and my friend were just talking about how the fashion scene New York is like not take it anymore. Yeah and How everybody's saying Chinese fashion scenes up and coming? That's mainly due to the fact that China has a lot of people but in terms of the fashion industry is definitely still very chaotic. Here like the system is not complete. Are we there yet and you see a lot of people who are overqualified. There are a lot of people who are not qualified at all. But everybody still working and Initi- like I wouldn't really say that fashion is up and coming because it's here but the fashion I would say the buying consuming of fashion. It's definitely there's still a lot of potential which I'm not going to go in details with the consuming part because I'm not like a marketing person. I'm not I don't work in sales else but in terms of like the base of action like the people who's working in fashion the the concentrator. Pr No magazines. Everything his here but it's kind of chaotic but in New York is like they're interesting things going on but in terms of the editors of the PR's they they already seen everything and they're just doing it as a job so that thing is really just not as innovative as before the traditional fashion is allen dying and just getting kind of boring over there for an American. We're always told that especially France or Italy or is going to be the most. The icons of Fashion Ashen Shanghai China in general will be seen as as a fashion leader. Or is it already and I just don't know This is going to be super controversial. But I don't think I think it will ever be a fashion Fashion Center It might be commercially partially or business. Wise but in terms of creativity edges don't feel like China has an environment for designers and even content creators to really really create. I get the feeling that especially China's media environment is very much geared at China whereas for for New York or for European countries. They're aimed at being influential worldwide. Exactly media is sort of designed and controlled to be for China and not for other places. So you know we'll have this propaganda and and and for the government to whatever control the media and stuff so the world of fashion. It can never work like you can't have someone to tell you what to do on not to do. Because if you want to express yourself and to be not just fashionable but to like create what you WanNa Create e. You can't have someone to tell you all you can do that. A lot of creative people are here. But we're trying our best to work with what we have but as I said people are learning and getting better. We'll speaking of people learning. Let's jump into some of the words that people will need to to have to be able to talk about fashioned. Okay the first word that I have here is very basic where it's slang is just the word for fashion. And it's sure Sean yes. How would a US sure Sean? Well I would say if you really WanNa talk about fashion. Don't ever use this word. This word not fashionable fashionable. I would say it's a word That we rarely use in the fashion in the world of fashion. Because it's like do you ever call your loved ones by their name. When I talked to my boyfriend I rarely call? Oh him as his name. Is that making sense when you're talking about fashion we're tend to talk about things. Like in subcategories and said all right all right. Let's talk about fashion. You know like I would rarely find myself using the word. Make sure shown introducing myself. I'm a fashion blogger. You how would you say fashion blogger. Shish on board what choice blogger translated from the sound so if Balka is a blog so bored you what is the meaning there. It'd be like host okay so you're the blog host. Yes basically the borjal. Yes yes. Okay so sure Sean. As fashion blogging St- excellent. I'm very happy to be sitting down with a real life. I'll show you know people always say neither. Oh my gosh working. Only Gosh you're blogger but to me. That's nothing but a job ever has a job and that's just happened to be my. I'm a PODCAST podcast host. And you're a borjal log coast so we're on the same page here. Just one tone different. Yeah okay so if you wanted to describe something as being fashionable people as opposed to being so last year a word that you mentioned on we chat was Charlie. Oh Yeah I love this Charlie. Oh what are these. Two characters mean mean literally it literally means tied and waves tied and ways. Yes so I sort of sense that it means like the trends trends come and go because child. You'll means trends. Yeah so if you want to say. The trend this year is Teddy. Bear Colt you you can say hey. The song tackle should Indiana Charlie off a very official way to say so genius and Charlie all this year's tied this year's flow genius but that's also be like their official way that they saw Magazine could say that we rarely have that in. Like you know conversation when you talk to people. Yeah I've heard people describe other people as being tall. Yeah which is the first character of Chow. Leo if I call someone tall. What does that mean? That could be like your stylish delicious hip so could I say wreck me if I'm wrong. Toughen Tall yes you can say that so ta. He couldn't very tall fashionable fashionable. Can I say top Bush hall or is that doesn't work that way it does. I never hear people say oh okay okay so for you If you see someone that you think has great style. Is there a word that you would use to say. Hey this person's really stylish rush or would you describe it by the specific kind of style. this is an interesting conversation because for me I rarely would would complement somebody saying that. They're very fashionable Just because they're not nearly as fast as I would say that you look good and that's my highest version of well. How would you say that? Say How can So when I hear how con- literally good good look or good looking it's usually used to refer to someone's physiology are some objects. Okay let's say this teddy bear jacket. Okay Tickets Alcoa Hawkeye. Oh so this. Jukka jackets transliterated Jukka Hulk. Yeah very good looking so to put in like a real life scenario scenario if I'm at an event I met another blogger. Let's say out say chose outlets. y'All can be like a more day to the day way of me complimenting people person you can complement more than one person. I love the way you say chicken check. How Candy Ah on the end it makes it feel cute? I guess it makes it feel more conversational. It's just to me. That's more relaxed. And I'm not so like turning all my editor or like professional mold. SORTA Kinda more conversation. Yeah I have an impression. This might be wrong wrong. Chinese is tonal The amount of expression you can put into your inflection is somewhat limited because I have to say how can it has to be Hawk Hon. I can't say ED. How can Chinese anymore? So sometimes we can add a word like yeah or on the end and we can do whatever we want to with that character kind the yeah. Yeah so it's too because the the words themselves don't give us a lot of flexibility but You seats expression we're on the end is something we can freely use. Does that make sense to you. I am I to me and I just realized how I love using those little words to make me sound like less stiff. Yeah for sure. Yeah because I can be a stiff person when it comes to work. Yeah so it's like especially in like working environment. I tried to sound as light as possible. People don't think I'm just so tough on their styles they can say like. I took a hot Kanye kind yet. Another word that means very yes Just like hunting so tink tall. Talk Haniya Yeah Okay. So I'm just a little bit of review. Sure Shong is the textbook way to save fashion. If we want to talk about trends we could say the child. y'All Gina Chali or cigarettes and clinch all. This person is is trendy but if you were gonNA comp your highest compliment ager on his highness is how how. Okay how would you say someone is not fashionable in my industry is not kind of it. It's like unwritten enroll. Now if somebody is not silent or not fashionable we. Just don't talk about it. Yeah but I guess you could say just ages Bush Abu Sherm all. Yeah what is sure. Mall is like a kind of a written way to say stylish fashionable. Aw sherm all so that would be a word that people in the industry might use a little bit more than the sort of dry. Yes Sean yes okay. So so touch from all sherm all four POW Bouche Ramal. He's not fashionable. Yeah or you can say. He's not a stylish Parson Tapestry Gauche and this is less judgmental more lights descriptive choice. Yeah like he's not. He's not got a stylish person he'd choose not to be fashionable wall and instead of saying you know he's not stylish. I feel like that's more appropriate for my day day to day. Conversation can I tell you a secret Adriana something that you don't know about Me Hon. War Buscher eager. Sure Mauldin. Well that's not as I know for sure. I am not a mall. Stylish the person I am not a stylist personal sherman. Yes cushier but need need. Sure you gotTA unsure. mothered says if he'll be okay. So what are some of the specific kinds of styles. People can have Full goal is definitely a word that we've been talking Abou for now true actual vintage so going back to the entrant. That's like literal translation of literally reviving the old Google. Yes yeah okay. So it's retro. What else we have like futuristic? That sounds like me you. You can't say they largely way lied. We I love that so way. Lie Literally as future and we ISM so it's like future ISM way Lij. We're yeah yeah okay. When you came into the studio you were wearing a plastic sort of very crinkly coat that I asked you to take off because it was very critically And now you're very cold and I apologize is would that be wage we Yeah that would be anything was Like strange textures. Like plastic or metal medal looking Chigney. Silvery thank you consider like futuristic. Okay so we have fubu which has Retro Waleed Year. which is futuristic? What else well? There's like. We say like the upper east side kind of classy style. Okay and you don't like their subservient your Shung shop huge New Year New York Shung Don upper east side air new Shandong shoe okay. Would that be sort of like a classic style. Is there an easier way to say classic your Ya Ya Ya. I hear elegant right yes. So you'll ya is elegant triggered him. You'll yeah yeah you would assume that a word like Yo ya AH is very Textbook kind of Warren. We actually use this word a lot in our work. Do you use the word Jingyin. Yes yes we do. Gene is the first thing that came to mind when you mentioned classic right that literally means classic is more of a word that would describe the style of object. I will say that Jingle Ball should symbian Jacob all this bag bag bag is like a classic design has a classic design Jingyin Kwon Kwon meaning out. What's the word for the model? Yeah I was the it was our. How our count an item like the model number? Yeah so this model is the classic model quine. Yes we'll we will often describe a bag or a Jack like a more like a heavy coat jacket a ding-dong okay. Yeah or or watch is something that would last you quite a while like four different seasons so if I wanted to say something is a certain kind of style style. I could say something something fun right. Phone will be like a short version of style right but also as a means went right so when you talk about phone like I have a sense of their talbot styled. Hi It's Josh. From the Editing Room Adriana on a just mentioned tall ball and if you don't know what that is think of Amazon for China it's the APP that you use to buy almost literally anything including enclosed if you know the right keywords to search for so that's what Tombaugh is and now back to the show their hall albo style of style when people like look up Phone on how. They'll may foung being short for for only Europe and May being short for make America so Omay Fung is European American style. Yeah more like a Western influenced influenced style which is a very broad term for sure. Yeah but somehow in China is a very specific. Look well in in estates if you search for Chinese style clothes that right but you know China so big and we have so many different you know raise the necessities where they have their own genuine style and we have the Tepe Hall we have the tongue jaw. And you know in some parts of China where you have like those sold learn jewelries and stuff. You can't really put such a broad term you know one word so funke means styles so there's different kinds ends of fungal like fogel is the kind of funder and What was the other one? We talked about already forgot is a kind of fungus so oftentimes you sort of spoke as oh people who use talbot might do that. But that's us that that that fashion people and that's a lot of our target audience might also be wanting to figure out how to search for a certain style really useful. You can just type in Omai Handphone Hon yes. Oh Wow okay so bourbon. Japan and Han Hunguana Korea so Japan Korea style. Talk about lumping people together. Yeah on phone is interesting dressing you see such a small Part of the world whereas Omai is like two hundred together boom go is also a huge country. Yeah how would you. This is the this had me on pins and needles the entire injury okay. How would you describe my style? Well I would say it's nearly America. Why would you say American style in Chinese I would just say trying to make me Towanda? You wear. Where is the verb for where so each one the and make war very America? You're so America right now. Yeah but no the way you say. It's a kind of like how like a judgmental tone to absolutely judging I if I give view like a description of your style like I wouldn't want to be just spend all trying to make So now would've way to put any tones in there. So you don't feel disrespected. So if I see someone wearing a CPAP can I say aw Niche Wonderman Jonquil. Yeah you can say that. Not that high. It's Josh from the editing room. Bounce just realized that we didn't review this week's words when we were in the studio so let's do that right now just you and me before we say Goodbye Adriana now we had a lot of words today so let's start first. We had sure Sean fashion sure Sean. Then we had Charlie ill trends Charlie. Oh then we had sherm all stylish stylish sure mall. Then we had a few different kinds of styles like Fubu retro full and we had way way lights. We futurist way lied to year. We also had yo-you Elegant Yulia then we had Jingyin Jingyin Classic Jingan and then we had the word fun. Google which is sometimes shortened to fung which just means style so fungus or phone and we talked about Something like Western style European American style. It's called Ole may omay phone or for Japanese and Korean style Hun Hun Phone. Yeah okay. That's it and now let's wrap up the show. All right well thank you very much Adriana. You'll all come this so much fun. I I'm doing a real podcasts. And if you want someone to find you online where should they find you to follow you. You're GONNA find yeah. Instagram just searched the Milan show on lower capital case the Malenchenko and so on instagram. The Mulan is in English Letters. Search T. H. E. M. U. L. A. N. S. H. O. W. All excellent. And you can find me way ball. The Milan show Malone Bean Chinese. Yeah Yeah Mulan Still. Mu L. A. N.. Is the Pinion for that. But it's Would or could I literally is the MOU and Lan while Morla. Ah Magnolia the power that I never knew that salons name is Magnolia. Yes I never knew ten years in China right now finally figured it out. Okay so the Moulin Show yes. I'll put those characters in the show notes. People know how to type them. They don't tolerate any thank you. That's all of the G we have for you today if you want more Adriana like she said go to instagram and look for the Mulan show all lower case. If you're on on the Chinese Internet Goto way for and look for them Lonzo but Mulamba's characters Moulin. Thanks again to her being a great guest and thanks again as always to Himalayas. Yeah for being a great place not only to listen to podcasts but also to host your podcast for Free Hezbollah even if you wear very buscher Mao clothes. It's still freed. Take a very special. Thank you this week to weigh. Lie To future ISM. I don't know why just really like that word and last but not least thank you to you the listener for listening. I love it when you listen to this podcast. And if you love listening to this podcast then find us online on twitter at MSG Mandarin or on facebook as Mandarin Slang Guide. All one word and you can just ask we chat directly like I mentioned at the top of the show just go to chat and search for. MSG Jeep podcast all lower case one word. So that's it for now till next. TIME SCI FI way file by

Adriana Adriana China New York content creator Sean Josh Davis Fashion Ashen Shanghai China Milan Charlie America Google Steve Scher. editor Milan Ko L. Disney Omay Fung Magnolia Bush hall instagram
Adrianna Stephenson  Brain Tumor Parent #1184

One Life Radio Podcast

43:35 min | 1 year ago

Adrianna Stephenson Brain Tumor Parent #1184

"The content of the following program is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis treatment or cure always consult your physician or a health professional with any questions. You may have regarding a medical condition. One Life Radio is brought to you. By our sponsors great companies like Sun Warrior Sun Warrior is a premium all natural superfood company dedicated to providing the best speaking plant based protein. Powders and supplements go to Sun Warrior Dot Com to learn more about all of their products and use the code. Oh L. are for twenty percents off your order crazy water. The only mineral water bottled in Texas Environ Medica makers of tariff flora a novel broad spectrum symbiotic formulated with a combination of sport. Form probiotics and advance food based ancient prebiotics. Wild Foods. Small Batch superfoods from around the world. Use The code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off. Wild Foods was founded out of an obsession with finding the best ingredients in the world to support health and Longevity Halio magazine though Wellbeing Journal and the International Society of Sports Nutrition. Be sure to go to our thorn research dispensary on our website for twenty percent off all their products and free shipping. Thank you for listening to one life. Radio off Baby you WANNA go higher baby. You're in the right place. You're listening to one life. Radio this is Bernadette with a leash hopper Adriana about a Antos Sean Wells Adriana Stevenson and. I've got a whole room full of people people here. I've Got Christie Scott Studio and shelly wells and Shawn's mom is in studio. I can't remember your mom's name Donna. That's it she you like Don. That's a pretty name. Yeah yeah go ahead and oh my gosh that's funny but always great to have you in studio. I'm excited about today's show because Adriana has an incredible story Kito for my kid is her topic and she's got an incredible story about her son's brain tumor treatment journey and of course John Wells always a great to have sean wells in studio For those of You. Maybe just now joining us for for for for the first time. Sean Wells is a registered Dietitian and certified sports nutritionist. He's a fellow in the International Society of Sports Nutrition and has his masters of public health and nutritional biochemistry. And you're just GONNA add along with this KITA craze that we're talking about today on the air and how it is so What's what do I WANNA say? What can I legally say Sean? Wells profoundly therapeutic being profoundly therapeutic for a lot of different things. Patty Di Bernardo is listening right now. She recently got a diagnosis of cancer. Which has moved to her long. And she's going to be getting on the Ketogenic Diet as well to help with that a metabolic fight if you will and And it's so great to have you guys in studio it is and you know. Did you know that it's national? Walk Your Dog Day. I didn't know that walk my dog. Yeah I didn't walk in Charlie every night now instead of them lending run all over the property and and making me lose my mind when I can't find him structure I give them some structure. So now he's he's be. Have you know dogs? Need structure? Just like kids need structure. I'm finding that they do. And we all need structure and I always love having more days on the show and she show she is the vice president of communications at the SPCA. That's the society for the prevention of Cruelty to animals of North Texas. You can find a SPCA AT SPCA DOT. Org always a pleasure more. How are you doing today in always so wonderful to be talking about all the animal issues? Oh I know I know and you know every time we get a cold snap and I'm walking. You know back to to visit Tom and Willie or walking Charlie. I always think all the poor dogs out there that don't have any protection from the cold or maybe aren't getting fed enough to keep them warm and so everyone out there listening. Take good care of your animals because they love you very much and and you should show them your love by taking really good care of them right Moron goodness so much. They do. They really do. And you know. Today we are highlighting twenty dog walking tips. I could use some of these. I haven't even read them yet. That will make your make your walks more enjoyable for both you and your dog. I could use some of this. So let's go through them. The first one is is use a front clip harness. If your dog pulls on a leash yes so. There are a couple of different options. You can use a front clip harness which is just what it sounds like a nice comfy harnessed and equipped front instead of the back There's another option out there. It's actually a leash Called a wife walkie and it's a leash that actually quits onto a regular caller that then that leash loops around underneath. Your dogs The behind their front legs underneath and comes back around to the top. Both of these are humane. They're gentle they are. They're not hurting. Don't please don't use the. Don't use the prong collars. Y'All oh gosh I literally anything else but a front clip part is or wife. Lucky Can Work Wonders. Because if your pet is pulling if you have that front clip harness where they kind of feel the the leash right there. Don't say have a better chance of saying wait a second I maybe. Let's not poll. But there's even more you can do if that doesn't solve it then you can actually use treat based training to train your dog to walk nicely out. Every time basically every time they walk nicely at least give them a treat so you bribe them everywhere. I've never what is it called the wife. What is that the word I'm hearing over the Airways because I'm having trouble hearing it the the first one that you were talking about the wife. Yes Weiss Walkie I believe it's W. E. I S. S. O. Okay and then walkie like yeah. Well I thought you were saying wife Walkie. I was like that doesn't make sense to me. Glasses W. E. S. S. I. I think it's I think it's the person who Yeah I didn't even know that. Well I didn't even know that that harnesses they had ones that clipped on the front. I've never seen him the one all the ones I have. You know clip on the back. Like yeah they're they're not very many but they are out there if you look Especially online but They can be lifesaver sometimes because people out there have those dogs that pull. It's a good it can be a humane solution. Inlets definitely focus on the humane portion. How yeah for sure. I don't like those. I know someone that used one of those. Those metal pinch collars For a long time it drove me crazy. I was like you gotta get rid of that. It's just so off but But those are those are good to know and so you said and you can reward them so so for example if they get a little rambunctious bunks you tell them now and then when they behave well then you give them the truth. Is that how it works? Well sort of what I would advise doing is wait until you're doing something good so don't punish them for something that's not good but reward them when something is good. Okay and if you're consistent and you stick with it that will work. I have seen miracles happen. Wow every work you know what I can't wait. I can't wait to try some of this stuff. I'm already doing some of it. I'm looking down the list but There's one that you said that. Let let your DOGS SNIFF. Around for mental stimulation did they. I wonder that even last night as I was trying to get Charlie to do his business and he was having trouble doing number. You know number two and I'm like I wonder what it is. You know we because he's sniffing around. He acts like he's going to go into the position and then he was like now. I'm going to look over here sniff over here. So what is it about that mental stipulation? What are what are they sniffing for exactly yeah dogs? Don't see as well as we think most dogs but dogs smell. Is I forget what the actual percentages? But it's like they smell a million. That's not exactly but they smell so much more than we can smell. Dogs get physical exercise when they walk and their brain. Their nose in their brain gets mental. Exercise Day Steph. So your dog a little bit of time to sniff around. They're getting information. They're keeping track of what's happening there thinking. Oh this dog was here and that person there. Oh this car came by Interesting actually help them in their in their Just general happiness but some Sun. Dogs out there really. They've got a routine and sometimes they'll develop a newer team so if they maybe need a little extra time to just concluded that extra time that helping them work up to number to help with that and I'm reading here says don't use a retractable leash. I've had nightmare. Experiences with those retractable leashes. So now so I'll let you reiterate Wine at why they're so bad. There's so many hazards. That come with a retractable leashes. On my Gosh so if you lose control the leash your dog on the street. Let's live and complete that sentence. 'cause horrible The locks that they have on those leashes can break and then your dogs in the road and the car and then I don't WanNa finish that sentence. Yeah same reason. Lots can cause injuries to people and animals. So just imagine if you got one of those retractable leashes with the little skinny thing that they'll the The lead line if you grab onto that and your dog is running. You're going to get a really severe burn. Probably and in extreme cases you could lose a finger and when your dog reaches the end of that if they're running that jerk can cause you to fall over maybe even on your dog and like because you both serious injuries. Yeah killer leash. They're great you can get long All kinds of options. Yeah there are all kinds of cloth ones. There's there's everything I have. Some new plastic ones made like I don't know what they're they're like a really heavy duty plastic even though we're trying to keep our plastic down on the planet. I I don't know if they're they might be another. I'll have to look into it actually because I actually bought one with matching collar but And I am saying I'm reading here. always pick up after your dog. That should be like a no brainer right seriously. I know people are like I don't want to deal with it but if you do not pick up. You're not only breaking the law but you could be promoting the contamination of water Pets can pick up gre at E. coli or Hookworm Salmonella and imagine if other people dogs you don't know where they've been have any of that and they excrete that their pet goes to the bathroom and they don't pick it up. That's going to go into your water supply it's GonNa go potentially into your pet and you're everywhere you live. Just don't good point it's illegal and here's my it. Yeah and it it is. It's Kinda Gross. You pick it up even even at your home. Of course you know maybe not every single time but maybe every other day if you have an area where you're Animal uses the restroom. The bathroom uses the outdoors as well. But my favorite one here and this is something that drives me crazy when people don't have proper identification on their pets. Yes Oh my gosh. And it's easy like there are so many places that sell tags for your pets you can get those colors and or leashes that are have your pet. Your or your. I'm sorry your phone number embroidered on them. Wow I could. Shipping is a must their way too many easy cheap options out there. Because if your pet gets away and other people don't have a way of identifying your pet. Your pet will not come back. And we'll just heartbreaking. I can't even can get it out so make sure every time he leaves. House with your dog. They have appropriate. Id There are also state laws out there so you know. Pets need to be vaccinated against rabies That state law. That's a deadly disease. That can hit those pets and people so upset on those rabies. Vaccinations make sure they've had their tags and microchip your pets absolutely and watch out for hot hot or freezing pavement. You know that's a Lotta people. Forget about that. It's really important. You can burn your dog's feet or freeze them and I'm reading here. Keep your dogs focused by bringing along high-value treats and asks before approaching other dogs and wear reflective gear if you're walking during the evening all great advice brought to you by the SPCA of North Texas. More David thank you so much always a pleasure. Thank you so much all right everyone you can visit the SPCA DOT org. They're always looking for donations. Check it out at SPCA DOT org we will be right back with Sean walls and Adriana Stevenson talking about keyed over kids stay tuned. Everyone south you go into the rolling Stone Sean Wells about this. What are you got? The moves like Jagger. I'm going it's it's in. It's in May I played this just for you. I'm going to ask Beeman you got. Oh my gosh. I'm Alex Jones being in. I mean how old. How old is this going to send like? Like I'm thinking Jagger's got seventy five seventy seven something like that. It's incredible it'd be interesting to see how well he can dance. Still Heavy six. That's awesome six and started love. It like sixty sixty seven or sometimes they'd been didn't he just have heart surgery. Have Heart Surgery formed a role in sixty two way? Moly crazy. Yeah tickets really sixty seventies eighties nineties knots or whatever you WANNA call them the ten saying Yep Yep so Right here in the key to the cotton bowl too. That's where I saw him the last time. I think I saw him El Paso I've seen them like four or five times But and they never disappoint. I can tell you that so I hope you get your tickets Sean. Well I want to now. I'm on it all right. Well it's great to have you in studio as always we have your dear friend Adriana Stevenson. She's a local girl here from Dallas. I she lives in Richardson. And she is a brain tumor parent Ketogenic Diet advocate and real food. Crusader in two thousand. Sixteen world was turned upside down when her nineteen month? Old Son was diagnosed with a large brain tumor shortly after starting chemotherapy. Her research letter to the metabolic theory of cancer. And she put her on a therapeutic. Kita genyk diet this This life changing journey has ignited a passion for helping others and families navigate metabolic therapies for their children and to educate them on the efficacy of the Ketogenic Diet. She hopes to empower others by sharing evidence based research alongside practical tips for Everyday. Kito living on instagram. You can find her at Kito for my kid. That's at Kito for my kid. Such a pleasure to have you with us today. Thank you so much. What an intro. Yeah Yeah well you know what? Hey you're out there doing girl and and I think it's so cool that you're in studio with US talking about it and I have my friend. Kristy Kristie Scott here as well. Who's entertaining Getting on the Ketogenic Diet for her son as well so Different circumstance but nonetheless. It is a very few therapeutic diet and we know that the Ketogenic Diet hasn't been around and being used for for for diseases like epilepsy for over one hundred years. Now so lots to talk about here and Sean. Wells is also a key expert. He is a registered. Dietitian certified sports nutritionist fellow in the International Society of Sports Nutrition and has his masters of public health and nutritional biochemistry. He has been dubbed the world's greatest formulator of nutritional supplements and Sean has been on TV documentaries radio radio podcast and spoke on all stages all over the world and is one of the most respected supplements attrition Kito and biohacking. He has used Kito fasting supplements and biohacking to overcome a Patou. Itary TUMOR AUTO IMMUNITY WITH CHRONIC FATIGUE. Fibromyalgia Hashimoto's and Epstein Barr along with depression obesity. And more and now he's here to help you. You can find Sean. Wells at Sean. Wells DOT COM and that's S. H. A. W. N. W. E. L. L. Sean Wells DOT COM or on instagram zone halo. Okay let's dig into this you guys. Let's go Kita for my kid okay so Adriana. Can you tell us a little bit about your son's Brain Tumor Treatment Journey? How how I just so interested about how all of this began absolutely so my son Parker. He's five now. He was a perfectly healthy baby. Born forty one weeks eight pounds. Fourteen ounces He met every developmental milestone earlier on time his first year of life and around fourteen months. I noticed that he started using his left. Hand like predominantly and you'd give them a right to a toy in his right hand he'd immediately pass it to his left and that seems really strange to me. My husband has left handed and was like. Oh He's going to be a lefty like me and I have someone to give my golf clubs to it. Just really early to me He also was really wobbly on his feet and everybody told me. Well toddlers toddle. That's what they do and all of these little kind of nagging things in my mind. Everybody dismissed I was a first time mom and just worrying about nothing and then when he was like sixteen months old it was bath time one night and he had a toy in the water submerged in the water and he could not grasp it with his right hand like He. He's like the resistance of the water was too much for him and that for me was a real wakeup call. Something is really wrong here. A mother should always listen to intuition. They always should a lot of doctors. A lot of people dismiss it and it's wrong. No one knows your child better than the mother and the thing is he had been so body confident as an infant and then all of a sudden to have this toddler who is falling down a lot and doing other things it just. It wasn't in character. Well how scary too. Because when they're that young they can't communicate really well and tell you what's going on. I feel this mommy. I feel that I mean it's very scary when they're that young exactly and so it has eighteen month while baby visit. I finally told our pediatrician. Lake listen Something's wrong here. I don't know what it is. And He. He's very old school and he didn't say much but he referred us to enroll gist. Who didn't assessment said well. Parker looks good but his right hand. That's really abnormal. And at that point she would blow bubbles down at him to try to get him to extend that pointer finger to pop them and he could barely extend his right pointer finger. It's about them and had like no control over it so she ordered an MRI of the brain and the top the spine. This is July of two thousand sixteen. We went in for sedated Mariah and I think back now and I was so worried about that initial sedation and now I'm like Oh that's nothing. Compared to everything we right through right And about an hour into it. We had to SIGN CONSENT FORMS FOR CONTRAST. I which was not a good i. It can kill you contrast I can kill you and I We didn't they didn't say anything. We get home. Fifteen fifteen minutes later are neurologist called US and said why no I. Parker is having a hard time with his right hand and I said Okay. She said you need to sit down and it was. He has a large brain tumor in the middle of his head. We don't know much more than that right now but and it was like it was. I still get chills it well. Yeah it was horse. It was shattering for us and from there. We had a frantic four days to we could find a pediatric neurosurgeon here in Dallas. Who would take our case because my husband and I were both contracting and on Obamacare in two thousand sixteen and some hospitals in the sales area would not see our son and so we actually had to wait four days to see the. Mri images and their stunning. If you get a chance to go on to any of my social media I posted and it's really It takes your breath away and We met with an amazing neurosurgeon at Medical City dolls. Can't say enough wonderful things about David? Soko he is Miracle Maker and Parker went in for surgery. Ten days later to partially de bulk at his tumor is It was around the hypothalamus very central part of the bra very difficult to access. We went into surgery knowing that a gross total section would be impossible. It was the goal is to try to relieve as much pressure. He didn't have hydrocephalus yet. But that was a huge like that was a big worry for us right and so but surgery went really well. He removed about seventy percent of it. We spent four days in the hospital. How crazy is that and went home and watched and waited for about three months because we have no. We had no idea what would those. What were those months like as a mom they were you know? I was so relieved. Frankly that he woke up and was the same child on the other side of surgery. That was my biggest concern There was a lot of upheaval in our lives. Moving houses my mom living with us. I mean just a lot of things going on at one time. We were so grateful that he had lived and I am such an optimist. It's still and I really thought that maybe it would be enough to kind of shocked that tumor into stopping to grow. I didn't know anything about how teamers grew that time. So I really had this. I was an optimist about it and He seemed to get a little bit better with his hands. Because right before surgery the fingers were almost permanently in a clod position. I mean we saw him every single week. Get worse and worse and so that had Had Gotten better so I thought well maybe this azan was was working and so Fast forward about three and a half months post surgery We go in for his. Mri and it shows not only. Is the active tumor growing that? The space is almost as large as it was to begin with. There was a new cystic portion. The type of tumor has called a pilot. Siddiq Astros Saitama. It's type of Glioma low grade But that doesn't mean anything in your brain and So from he was too young to consider more surgery and it wouldn't have been successful anyways so within my basically forty-eight hours we had to agree to a chemotherapy protocol. Get him into general surgery for a Metaphor. Go impatient and within a week from a bad. Mri We were sitting in the hospital with Chemo. Being pumped into our just newly turned two year old. Okay well that's a good time to take a break because when we get back I'm GonNa ask you. How did you find out about a Ketogenic Diet for cancer more coming up? Stay tuned everyone. You're listening to one life radio. You guys go ahead. How do you always find you make friends with all these women that can dance and sing? So well Sean. Because he doesn't things too. Yeah there you go like likes like right. Well it's so good to have you guys in studio today. Welcome back to one life radio. Everyone this is Bernadette With China does we've got Adriana Stevenson in studio and Sean Wells Adriana is a brain tumor parent. Kita genyk diet advocate any real food crusader in two thousand sixteen. Her world was turned upside down when her nineteen month old son. Parker was diagnosed with a large brain tumor shortly after starting chemotherapy. Her research letter to the metabolic theory Theory of CA of cancer. And she put her on a therapeutic ketogenic diet this life. Changing journey has ignited a passion for helping other families navigate metabolic therapies for their children and lead Or an end to educate on the efficacy of the Ketogenic Diet. She hopes to empower others by sharing evidence based research along with practical tips. For Everyday Kito living you can find Adriana on Instagram at Kito for my kid you were doing such a great job explaining your journey and I want to get back to it right before we went to break you. Were Getting Ready to tell us how you found out about a Kita genyk diet for cancer. So how did that happen so about three months? Into Parker's eighteen months chemo protocol so a year and a half of Chemo about three months. And after the first. Mri Post Chemo. Where things are pretty much stable. I realized that this was a marathon. It was not a sprint and that it was not going to go away with chemotherapy alone and so I finally had enough can of mental breathing room to refocus on what I knew. I knew that food mattered and I had been on a real food quest myself for many years prior to even getting pregnant with Parker and so I finally had enough mental space to say okay. Well he's he's he's alive he's GonNa live. He's survived this. We want him to survive as intact as possible right. And so did you. And Sean Know Each Other yet at that point. No okay. Wow and so. Three kind of magical. Things happened about three months. Post starting chemo. The I was I had a neighbor. Friend actually. Drop off the book. You're looking at their Tripping over the truth by Travis Chris Dot Com and I really they're really into ancestral living. And we had bonded on a lot of other things and My neighbor was like you. Have you need to read this and I don't know why it just you know. Everyone has an opinion when trying to help right and there was just I trusted him and just the way he said it. I said Okay and so reading. That book was one of the most profound things that have happened in my life because it ultimately I had to understand the science behind how this tumor grew and developed. And it was instead of just this. You know untamed beasts. It was something that I could try to actually understand not that you can control it but you can understand it and the other two things that happened one on the other. I was on a facebook group for parents with these type of low grade. Pediatric Lomas and a mom had put her post up about how her daughter had the same exact tumor as my son. Same Location. Same. Lick gladdock mutation makes you wonder what it is. What caused it and our environment. That's signed goes multigenerational. Ethnic factors is big my best. Guess when with what I've done but that's that's a different story but One of the things She had started her daughter on occasion. Diet on day. One of her chemo protocol and they were about a year or so ahead of us in. Her daughter's tumor was gone. And I said I knew it. I knew food mattered. And then the third thing was they She got me connected with Max Love Project which is a nonprofit in Orange County California that helps support childhood cancer. Families are really in a very real way of looking at whole child. Wellness sleep community exercise food and they're big proponents of the huge diet and they actually also evidence based research to be able to give our reis and they gave me a ten page annotated bibliography of Research Clinical Studies. I mean you name it and I didn't ask our doctor's permission. I just slid across the table and said we're doing it and this is why and I want you to know again. I'm going to be asking for blood work for you. Well you know We started talking about the Ketogenic Diet many many years ago with Dr Thomas E. Free Dr Joey Antonio you Alan all of us you know. We're very interested in the Ketogenic Diet for a lot of different reasons. Mostly cancer at the top of that list and up epilepsy as well. Of course that was already that information had already been out there. But it's very interesting to me to about epilepsy in particular that they they will you know prescribe drug after drug after drug and they don't work they don't work and we've known about the Ketogenic Diet like I said for over one hundred years and yet most doctors never broach that subject with their patients. Yeah it's sad obviously because there's money to be made on Capela in these other drugs and they're harsh and they have a lot of side effects But too I think. Doctors think that they're tied into this Insurance System Pharmaceutical System the standards of CARE ASSOC- like in the hospital that a diet almost seems wou You know like it doesn't seem like it's truly therapeutic but it's just it's just food and and we've been taught that that that real medicine is is surgery. Real medicine is drugs you know. Real medicine is experts at high levels. And it's not food and I know as a Dietitian like how belittled I was often in that kind of holistic like You Know Group of of clinicians like when you have a pharmacist a doctor the nurse the Dietitian the Dietitian almost like you're part of the American Heart Association all these associations where they fought. They follow their criteria. Right aren't they basically forced to? Yeah Yeah one hundred percent and that was one of the things I got frustrated with. Is that especially like in a nursing home and we had federal and state survey teams. Come in we ha you know in the hospital. The of something called. Jayco you have all these. These bodies come in assess you and can You know charge you with fines. They could put you in jail. You can lose your job lose your license and if you're not following standard of care of course they're going to say. Why is that happening? So Standard of care. Is that if you have a cardiovascular disease that you need to be on low sodium low fat diet. We know. That's the exact opposite thing that you should do. If you're a diabetic that you should be on Ke- what's called control. Carbohydrates all day long. It's the exact opposite thing you should do so that actually promotes more insulin. Use on and on and on and so it's very frustrating. When you're tied into this thing that like you know what to do and you know where science is at and there's a lot of people that aren't there in healthcare trying to just make money or something the various. They're just doing their jobs with what they've been. Told is the best way to proceed and there are some fine doctors out there. I met one last week. Dr Dr Timothy Dow. He's my cardiologist. Now with my high blood pressure trying to help me control. And he was all into the alternative. You know helping me do this. Alternatively and you know my my issues are like stress. That's the main thing but but there are a lot of good doctors the the out there is my point. It's getting better as the voices are getting louder. As there's more people like Adriana like speaking up it's changing the way we're doing medicine you know it used to be the authoritarian model where the doctor dictated to you versus. You know kind of like a conversation and I was thinking about this. You know last week when I was at the doctor's office a lot of people don't have a choice because they don't have the money to buy good quality food you know. They're barely getting by. They have to go with the the the prescription path if you will. Because they don't really know where to turn. Yeah Yeah and and they don't know like I don't do a deeper to deeper dive to go seek a second opinion. Yeah like if you're a mom that's you know a single mom that's you know has twenty five thousand dollars of income a year and and you're listening to this guy that's in a white coat and you're like okay. I guess like and you're obviously devastated emotionally like you know. How empowered are you in that situation? There essentially preying on you. Well we're going to talk more about it Adriana will continue Here with US Sean. Walls talking about Kito for kids and we'll be right back everyone you're listening to one life. Radio sank the world's Abril. Hi Sean original. Not THE PUFF. Daddy and Biggie. Smalls version awesome. Everyone welcome back to one life. Radio such a pleasure to have sean walls and Adriana Stevenson Studio. I want to let everyone know that one life radio is brought to you by our sponsors great companies like Sun Warrior plant based protein. Use The code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off crazy water. The only mineral water bottled in Texas environmental makers of Tara Flora on novel broad spectrum symbiotic formulated with the combination of spore form probiotics and at and advanced food based ancient prebiotics and wild foods. Small Batch superfoods from around the world. Use The code. Oh L. are for twenty percent off Paleo F X SEAN. Wells will be there. I'M NOT SURE WE'RE GONNA end up being on the same stage yet or not. I haven't heard but Paleo F X healed I self change the world and for a limited time. The badges are fifteen percent off Is there a code for that because I have the old cold? Fx twenty-five exa F X fifteen. I think affects twenty-five works until the end of this week until the end of the next week. It'll probably okay so you should get in by the end of this week. Go to Paleo F X DOT COM. I'm really looking forward to it. Aren't you me too yeah I am? It's a great time in Austin with a lot of like minded people or those kind of people that maybe don't know what they want to eat or think or be calm and you know and gather with a bunch of like minded healthy people that why are people that want to be healthy. You don't have to. You know who was it that made the point? Was it you or was it. It was Mo Bros. Say It was a mobile. Sappy Paleo to go yeah. It's bigger than that so much that you know maybe carve out a better life for yourself. Yeah exactly it's all about moving moving. Moving humanity forward look so excited absolutely well and other sponsors that we have our Karma Baker. I absolutely loved these cookies and they have cookies cakes all kinds of stuff there. One hundred percent organic Vegan. They're gluten free. They're wonderful you can send him as a gift they deliver by mail. Go TO KARMA BAKER DOT COM. Check them out Paleo magazine the Wellbeing Journal veg World Magazine and the International Society of Sports Nutrition which Schon wells is a fellow of and be sure to check out our thorn research dispensary on our website per for twenty percent off and free shipping. And thank you for listening to one life radio and supporting our sponsors okay. Let's get back to this okay. Kito for kids. Adriana and Sean Wells or in studio with Sean Wells Kito expert. Adriana is a mom and Akito expert as well an advocate. She is a real food crusader Her son Parker was diagnosed with cancer in two thousand sixteen at the age of eighteen months. Nineteen nineteen months and and okay. So let's go to this. Okay what Let's see I'm trying to think. Where should I go with the so? What were some of your biggest challenges with feeding a child Akita Genyk Diet well at the beginning? He was only two? He was pre-verbal. I mean in the sense. He had a few words but couldn't tell me if he was feeling bad. He was also on Chemo when I put him on. Kito so we have a lot of challenges and was getting him to eat actually and so. I ended up making him my homemade cream cheese pancakes with pastured eggs. Full fat cream cheese. Mcat oil grass fed butter pretty much every meal for three months. And whatever works in my actual thought was this is incredibly nutrient dense food. And it's in a form that a two year old will eat it right and there was some days he'd eat five or six pastured eggs and butter and he'd eat scrambled eggs and avocado and other things like that and That's ultimately how. He transitioned him into therapeutic. Ketogenic diet was feeding him the same foods on repeat that he would actually eat and now he eats everything they eight five now. Yeah does he like you know? There's a sugar free catch up. Did you know that made by primal kitchen? Here's the thing when you've never fed like I've never fed him ketchup into catch up. Well I do too. I think all of those are for recovery by food recovery He's not into catch up. I mean maybe he's just not a catch kid he might not be but at my younger son is definitely more of like a sauce. Condiment boy my husband's a condom and guys. So maybe that's where it gets it from Parker's never been into it so we've never needed to use ketchup or any of those things. Because he never eat them. Yeah well we. All consume too much sugar in this country. And that's a that's a big problem. It is but but And they're not paying for this. I just love the Sugar. Free Primal Catch up a good product and they have to have you. Houston I have. I'm getting low on. I gotta get an extra always. Have a backup. I'm a ketchup girl anyway. But kids love Ketchup. That's why catch and you can mix it with. Mcat oil to help. That's a great way to start Getting their ratio's higher higher fat because people think that accusing diet is like a high protein diet. And it's not. It is high fat high fat high fat moderate protein low carbohydrate. So you know I always tell. Parents like identify the top ten foods. That your kids like and then. Let's find Kito Alternative. Write them and what kind of crutches to help them. Along the way well I brought in the book -Tarian By Dr will call a huge. Kito advocate as well That's got a lot of great recipes in it and a lot of advice for for new start or Dr Natio- winners book. There's so many Dr Dot Dom de Destino so many people that we've had on the show that are huge into Kito so What advice would you give families? Considering a therapeutic. Kita genyk diet for their kids like Christie to be patient with yourself at the beginning and not wait for the exact right time to get started. There's no perfect time. You know I've been doing this almost three years and at the beginning I had no idea what I was doing and I just started. I made mistakes along the way. Just keep chugging along ultimately like you have your big goal at the end of getting your child either disease-free or getting their seizures managed or helping their other behavior issues that are going on So ultimately that's what I would say is. Just be patient with yourself. Be Open to learning things realized. Things will change as your child's tastes change too. I mean if you're coming from a standard American Diet it's going to be tough at first but not impossible to do. And that's one of the things I try to share with parents to is that it doesn't have to be complicated. Yeah it's the simple meals simple food and the good thing is that makes taste good. Oh it does absolutely well And Okay so so Parker. How is he doing now and at? What point did you so when you started him on the Ketogenic Diet and then you kept going in for Diagnostics to see how would how is progress was tell that story so yeah it was a leap of faith to put him on. Kito the very first Marai after starting him on. Kito three months later. This is amazing. All Post Surgical Dima was resolved like gone completely and the tumor was thirty percent smaller and I was like a high knew it and it was. I really believe you know working in conjunction with the chemotherapy. It's that press pulse theory that Dr Douglas. Tino you know in doctors say freed have worked on and from there every single subsequent. Mri got better and better and December of twenty eighteen. His tumor was totally gone. We got the magic letters. No evidence of disease. Oh my God. That was the same Last June and has next scan is in April. We'll be ten months very hard for me to wait that long. But I'm of course always hopeful. He's still acute. Oh Kid I hope. It's enough to keep that tumor gone forever. Wow do you plan on keeping him on the Ketogenic Diet and did you get a lot of slack from other parents? I can only imagine one important thing and that slack. That's not what the word food is actually changing the narrative around it. I don't talk to other parents about it. I don't necessarily call it a diet. I caught nutritional therapy because most of these brain tumor does. They need speech. Therapy occupational therapy physical therapy feeding therapy. This nutritional therapy it is just as valid as any of those other interventions and so it's changing the narrative around it that it's not a fad diet. It's actually a medical way of eating. That is therapeutic. So that's one of the ways I've gone around it anything you want to add to this. Sean. Yup totally agree like the in the West. We desperately need this to fix ourselves. Because we're so broken metabolic Lee and this is we should be duel fuel. We should be using glucose for fuel and using ketones for fuel and so it's just tapping back into that kind of ancestoral fuel that we've somehow lost. Yeah in growing brains need fat absolutely absolutely what do you WanNa say you have about a minute before the show? Gosh what do I want to say you can come back? So you don't have much I just want parents to know that it's just food. You know there's so much fear at the beginning. Your kids are facing life threatening situations and it can seem really scary to all of a sudden change what they eat but ultimately it's just food and it puts life into perspective right. A childhood healthy and happy childhood is so much more than sugar and that goes for kids that are battling cancer and just regular healthy kids too so. I want parents to know that they do have choices. I love it and I just it spent so great to have you on the show. I can't wait to get back in studio everyone. Thank you so much for listening. You get one body you get one mind and you get one life. Get out there today and be contagious leave positive.

Sean Wells Adriana S. H. A. W. N. W. E. L. L. Sea Kito cancer I. Parker Schon wells Adriana Stevenson International Society of Sport Chemo North Texas Wild Foods Sean Wells Charlie Dallas Christie Scott Studio David Ketogenic Diet
313: Strangler Fig Pattern & God Objects with Adrianna Chang

Ruby on Rails Podcast

30:17 min | 1 year ago

313: Strangler Fig Pattern & God Objects with Adrianna Chang

"Listening to the Ruby on rails podcast on the five by five networks. You're listening at three thirteen. And on your host Britney Martin H here is to develop Internet shall defy. She's a member of the inaugural code word for Shock Vice Degree program. A four year work integrated learning program. That combines hands on experience with education at a partner university at work. Her focus is on improving. Kobe's help in establishing good design patterns outside of work she enjoys practicing wei-tai spending time outdoors and playing her ukulele welcome to the show. Adriana. Hi thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. It's a pleasure to have you. H developer origin story. So I got into programming pretty late actually computer. Science and computers in general weren't really on my radar growing up. But I did have this love for math and for English. I really liked to write an express myself that way so a little bit later on into high school my parents who are actually both in the tech industry encouraged me to give computer class. A try and I was actually pretty reluctant. I didn't think it sounded very fun. I was picturing a bunch of kids typing ones and Zeros into computers and so yeah I was a bit hesitant But they promise that if I hated it I could drop it and take a different class so I decided to give it a try And to be quite honest I really didn't like it. In the beginning I was the only girl in the class and it seems like I was the only one who had never written code before so I felt pretty out of place But I really liked the teacher He taught me a couple of glasses. And he encouraged me to just stick with it a bit And what really changed things for me. Was this program called Tech Nation. It's this global twelve week program that encourages girls to solve local problems in their community using technology and entrepreneurship so they were bringing it to Ottawa. For the first time they ratio to all the schools in the district Where I was going to school and they said you know if you have a group of girls who might be interested in forming a team and taking part in this like tell them to consider signing up so I ended up taking part in it with some other girls in my grade It was a really exceptional experience for me. It was the first time I got to see female developers You know talking about things. They were excited about it and talking about work that just made them really happy and the problems they were solvent that they were really excited to solve So that was what really changed things for me. It's what made me consider computer. Sciences occur thing Suddenly it wasn't you know coating wasn't about writing little programs to solve math problems. It was this tool that I could use to solve actual problems around we in impacts people around me so I decided to pursue computer science after high school I am urgently from Ottawa here in Canada and I was applying to a bunch of different Canadian universities One of those universities. Carlton which is In Ottawa and it was actually at the time that Carlton was working together with shop vie to develop a work integrated learning program so it was going to involve essentially four years of computer science at Carleton combined with hands on experience as a developer intern at shop. So I had applied to Carlson. Cs program already and they reached out to me and asked if I was interested in applying for this work agreed with learning program. It hadn't even Really been approved by the board yet. It was still kind of being pulled together but shop if I had actually been a sponsor of tech nation and so I was already familiar with them Was Pretty excited about getting to work there? So no hesitation in applying and Yeah I ended up getting selected to take part and the very first cohort of this program which has since been branded dub degree And that's how I ended up at shop it's been a pretty whirlwind experienced since and actually finishing my degree and my time in the program this April and it'll be joining them fulltime in the summer. That is such an incredible story. It's so inspiring and it just seems like you've had a lot of opportunities that have come up that you've taken advantage of and you should be so proud of that. I am curious. So what was the day like for you? Would you be taking university classes during the day at night and then working at Chapel Fai like? How did you balance everything? Yes so the program Basically consists of twenty hours Carleton Thoughts time dedicated to mostly being in like lectures or being into Tourelles And then it's twenty hours a week of work On a team so the way the program is set up. Now there's about eight months to a year of Training and course content So students in the program will essentially be at shop by just learning about kind of the way shop by operates. And what What a developer dies day today? And what kind of workflow looks like And then after that period they get put on a team And at that point they're balancing teamwork and schoolwork So yeah that's that's the way the program operates. It's pretty fun to be. Yeah getting to learn in the classroom but also getting to work on actual problems at a company like shop fi so great so I'm going to take a gas that your first experience with Ruby on rails was when you got to shop with I if so what did you think the first time you saw it. Yes you guessed correctly so yeah I had no experience in rails prior to joining shop five I didn't even really know what rails was but I knew that Shop if I was kind of known for being involved with rails and for being a company that had adopted Rael since its inception almost and nowadays SCHOPF is pretty well known for having this huge rails code base that has managed to scale over the last decade or so But Luckily I actually didn't have to dive into the monolith Right away when I started so my first placement at chop off by an so placement is what we call our kind of little internship slots see my first placement was on this team called in our internal tools and our team was responsible for supporting a lot of smaller internal rails applications so this was mostly Like working on tools to help with contact sharing and Bella acceleration within the company. So I definitely got to start out working on rails like smaller scale On things that were kind of closer to your standard vanilla rails app so it was a nice little introduction and yeah with my program. We changed teams every eight months. So I've got to work on a couple of different rails teams and seen different ways that different teams have kind of approached building in rails Interestingly enough most of the teams I've worked on have worked on services separate from core so a lot of my experience with rails has been Pretty Fun just a building features for teams and. It's actually only recently that I've joined a team that works on Chop Affi- core which is our big rails monolith So it's been a really interesting experience because there are suddenly like all these other things to care about. How do we scale? How do we make this performance? How do we organize our code? So it's not just this huge disastrous code base that everyone's trying to figure out So yeah shop by has had to figure out how to grow beyond the rails defaults in order to successfully scale. But I definitely feel like I'm just kind of touching the tip of the iceberg in terms of working with this large rails application. Well speaking of I wanted to bring you on to the podcast to discuss your recent article on the Shakai blog which was titled Re Factoring Legacy Code with a strangler fig pattern now listeners. If you haven't read the article where recap it but also just suggest to actually pausing the episode and giving a read before resuming. The link is of course in the show notes. So you're on first off. You're on the kernel architecture patterns team. Can you explain the role of that team shop? Affi- yeah absolutely so. My team falls within this umbrella of teams called Code Foundations And all the teams and CODE ARE CONCERNED WITH MAKING SHOPS. I applications easy to build maintain and factor so my team specifically which is Colonel Architecture. Patterns is focused on ensuring that shoplifted core is in good health and that other developers shop affi- are empowered to follow best practices around design and architecture so kind of day to day. What that looks like. Is We do a lot of technical work and core to Kind of maintain it and improve its health but we also do work to develop tools that help developers track the health of the areas of code. They own and then we're also involved in a lot of education initiatives around software design and architecture and that's actually kind of how the blog posts came to life. We were you know doing some work to our reactor core and we thought it would be a good idea to maybe share some of what we'd learned with other people at chop off by an outside of shop by so we decided to write a blog post about. It is a whole just always seems to be so willing to share insights especially since it's such a well known Scaled out ruby on rails application. So anytime see. New Host from the shop apply blog. I get excited because I know somehow it's going to be relevant to what I do. So one thing that I wanted to dive into in the article is that you start off by explaining what a God object is. So can you explain what a God object is impossibly? Maybe an example of one that we might see in our own code basis. Yeah for sure. So a God. Object to a common anti pattern it basically describes an object that knows or does too much. But if you're like me you might start to play the WII game and get into you know why is a bad to have an object that knows or does she much and this is kind of something? I've been reflecting along a lot on lately as I've been you know diving into how we can make chop if I were a little healthier so I've been learning a lot about why these large objects are bad and some of the consequences that arise when you have large objects or objects that kind of have too many responsibilities so the first of these is that there are often overloaded with dependencies so typically if you have an object that is doing too much. It's couple to other parts of your system so that makes it harder to reuse. They're also just like really hard to work with. If you have this giant object that does a million things and you need to make some changes to it. It's going to take a lot of mental effort front for you to understand the object. You can actually go and make the change And not only is the change. Hard TO MAKE. But it's GONNA be slow to test and We've had some pretty painful experiences with slow tests shop so it's definitely a pain point And then this concept. I've been learning a lot about lately is Death Stars this is a term I think sandy mets coined Basically you have these parts of a system that are high churn high complexity. So they're hard to understand and they also need to change a lot And I don't think that got objectives necessarily synonymous with death star but I think that got objects can turn into. Death Stars a lot of the time. And that's something we've noticed chopper fi like if you have this classes overloaded with responsibility it's likely going to need to change a lot and every time it needs to change. Developer has to load all this context into their head to understand it and the changes they make or probably GonNa make it more complex so it really becomes the vicious cycle and it can really slow down developer productivity and so onto like how do we identify got objects and rails APPs I definitely think it's a bit tricky like it's not always easy to spot an object. That's too large especially because these objects don't usually start out large they kind of slowly evolve into God objects but the biggest issue I think with got objects is that they violate the single responsibility principle in software engineering which states that an object should only one reason to change so I think if you have an object that is changing for a number of different reasons while it may not be at like God object level yet. It's probably doing too much and it's at risk for becoming a God object. I think personally In my experience a good rule of thumb is to look for areas in your stem. That are painful to work with in my article. I talk about our shop model. Which definitely has a reputation in the company for being? You know this massive class. That's really painful to work with. And that requires a lot of context and mental effort to make changes to And then something else is another thing to note about got objects is there? It's difficult to define what they're responsible for. So our domain models are meant to be obstruction of reality useful for solving business. That's kind of like the typical domain driven design definition. You here So you should be able to open up the code for a rails model at any time and get an idea of the thing that model is representing the obstruction. And the problem is that I think as our business needs evolve. Our models evolve to try and keep up and sometimes the obstruction isn't quite right anymore. So for us the shop It was probably at one time clear. What a shot was and what it did but today if you open up like shop dot. Rb It's impossible to tell what it is by looking at the code which is a really big hint that it's overloaded with responsibilities and doesn't have a clear definition anymore and is probably a god object. So yeah those are kind of the things that I've learned about. You know maybe some cure six for spotting objects that are got objects are trending in that direction. What a fantastic answer. I think if the phrase God object ever comes up again. I'm just going to point people to this because that was such a good explanation. I know for me personally anytime on getting into a legacy whereas application it typically is the user object for me that tends to be that God object. Is you see people passing it around it really depending on it hard and you're right Sandy. Matt's has a lot of really good tips on how to break up those objects so quoting from your article knowing where to start. Refractory can be a challenge especially with a large class light shop. One ways to find. The starting point is to use a code metric tool. It doesn't really matter which one you choose as long as it makes sense for your Code Base. Our team opted to use flog. So I'm curious. Why did you go with fog and were there other libraries that you considered share so I'll just preface upfront that we really didn't invest much time in picking a tool for code analysis? There are obviously a bunch of libraries out there. Some offer Sadeq analysis others offer dynamic code. Alice's most of them are pretty fast to run and personal results. I personally was familiar with flog. A bunch of other people on my team were as well so we kind of just committed to using it off the bat. And if you've never heard flog it is essentially a code metric tool that computes a complexity score for each each section of your code based on the number of assignments branches and calls And what makes it kind of a good choice is it's Ruby's specific? So it can tailor. Its metrics a little bit better compared to using more general tool in my opinion but ultimately we wanted to pick starting point for our re factoring and we needed to extract a cohesive section and shop and we thought it would be beneficial to start with an area that could mesh tool had pointed out to us as being kind of like. Really bad so flagged salt lake a good fit for our situation I wouldn't spend too much time. Picking tool the goal is really to find a place to start if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of like getting your hands into a big class to reactor that makes sense. So would you mind providing me a podcast friendly definition of the Strangler fig pattern? I would love to So yeah the Strangler fig pattern is essentially a strategy for migrating from a legacy system to a new system. It's a great process for re factoring your code while ensuring nothing breaks in your application so it was introduced by Martin Fowler on his blog and he goes In depth a little bit more about kind of why he chose that name For the pattern and it has this cool backstory. The T. L. DR of it is. It's named after the strangler figs that grow in Australia so basically you have these fake succeed in. The branches of trees may grow downwards and root and the soil. So eventually they actually like completely enveloped the host tree and strangle it and the host dies. And you just like the bind behind that. It has taken on the shape of the tree that strangled someone. Essence the strangler pattern is a method. Where a new system solely grows over top of an old system and its whole. The old system is strangled and can safely be removed. WanNa team wants to adopt the strangler pattern. The strangler pattern is great because it offers reliable incremental process for re factoring code back to my own personal experience. The shot model which we've brought up a couple of times now it had been on my teams radar for awhile. It's well known within shop. Faez kind of one of one of the most painful models to work with just because of how large and complex coupled it is so given that my team is responsible for maintaining code health and core. It seemed pretty obvious that Addressing the shot model and trying to break it up a bit would be a good use of our time so we decided to go ahead and repack to the shop model a bit but as previously mentioned it's super coupled to a bunch of other parts of shop if I corps A lot of things dependencies on shop and it's also a really important part of our system like the shop model contains a lot of critical functionality for vice commerce platform so yeah we had this really missile messy coupled piece of the system To work with and the risks were really high if we broke something so it seemed like a pretty daunting task to just go in there and start pulling stuff out so doing like a hard cut in pastry factor was kind of awful table And that was what was really appealing about the strangler pattern. It's a series of incremental steps. You can monitor changes in the system at all times. So if something accidentally breaks it's faster revert. And it just makes the re factoring process super manageable and it lets you kind of continue to ship and continue to be working towards the goal and feel like you're making progress without being overwhelmed by this huge factor. Well you laugh led me perfectly into my next question and that is asking you if you could please walk me through the seven step process you used to react or your shop model using the straggler fake pattern absolutely So I definitely recommend taking a look at the article if you haven't already. It includes some diagrams in there to kind of get more of a macro level view of what's happening in the code examples. So if you're finding it a little bit hard to follow in the podcast. The articles should hopefully clear things up The process itself is pretty straightforward though So just talk a little bit about Our use case for the string lifting pattern we were trying to reflect. Shot model and our goal is really to extract cohesive sections at of shop and into more appropriate domain models. As discussed earlier we used flogged kind of help us pick a starting point and flog revealed to us the section in Shop Derby called store settings which essentially stores a bunch of global attributes related to a shop store so our goal is to store setting and its corresponding business logic methods and extract them into a separate class in the blog. Post we talk about a store setting related to shoplift capital which is shown finance program. So as I'm kind of walking through this seven step process will pretend that. That's kind of silly example. I have in mind But yes a- jumping in to the actual process of the strangler pattern be first step is to define an interface for the thing. You want to extract a so essentially. What we're doing here is we're creating public. Api for the thing being extracted in our case it meant creating new model that exposed the same interface for the capital related logic. That was in shop And Yeah exposing it in this new interface so we actually used a plain old ruby object for our class here rather than an active ordered. Something we decided to do during this re factoring process was experiment with separating business logic from our persistence logic. I'll get into that a little bit more at a later. Step with us just something to note that our new interface was really just a plain. Ruby class. Um and also important to note now that we haven't actually moved any data yet so Our new interface still continuing to access data from wherever data is currently stored right now the shops database. Obviously so we need to pass the shop. Object into our initialized her so that we can continue to read from and write data to the shops table. So that's step one Let's pretend we have our interface set up and it's ready to go so step. Two is in start moving clients who are still going through shops interface to send capital related messages so we can move those clients over to the new interface. That's step two would definitely recommend taking an incremental approach. Here if you have a lot of clients You can kind of address them one by one and make sure that everything is going smoothly. Step three is then to create a new data source if we need to write data so with our factor for shop. We were indeed Reading from and writing to the shops table and given that we were trying to decouple this capital related code from the Shot Model. We decided to create a separate database for the store to live in start for the store setting tillman So you can pick an existing data source or you can create a new table. The goal really is just to store this data in place that makes sense So once you have your table Onto step four said. This is This stuff is a little bit more involved. It's where we start writing our new We start writing to our new data source from our new system so we duplicate race in this stop. we're going to be writing to our new data source while continuing to write to our original DEA source obviously because we still need to be reading data from our original data source and this is where I wanna talk a little bit more about using a plain old ruby object instead of an active record model to hold our business logic so what we decided to do with his extraction define our business logic in a rid class and then use an active record. That is an essence private to the business logic class to handle our persistence for us. There are a couple of advantages to separating business logic from the persistence logic. It means that our business logic classes isolated in St Louis. So it's pretty easy and fast to make changes to and to test and then using a private actor record also limits the surface area of our active record model so it can make our system a little bit more maintainable because we don't have all these active record methods exposed So yeah in step duplicate rates but we obviously need to introduce the active record model so that our business logic class has to wait to our new data source so we introduce a record model. It's private to a new. Interface is obviously an active record object and we connected to the new data source recreated. We can add any necessary validations the record model. And then what happens? Is that our business logic? Class essentially fines initialising a record object for a given shop and delegates rates to this active record object. So we've got this neat separation between the business logic and the infrastructure logic but of course if you're pretty sure your model is gonNA remain small. Feel free to just use a single active record for your business logic and persistence logic or if like the idea of separating this logic and the persistence. Logic is a bit kind of weird like feel free to just combine them into one The steps of the strict pattern pretty much. Stay the same So yeah that's the end of set for the next couple of steps are a little bit more lightweight so step five is tobacco your new data source. So it's sank with wests in your old data service This can be accomplished by just using a simple rail job In our case we spun up a rails job that would rate over all of our shops and basically create or update rose and our new table to match the data. Step six is to start reading from the new data source. Once it's completely up to date with the original source and being written to properly and these reeds happen via the record object and then step seven so at this point. The old system is strangled. It's no longer being used. The methods and shop aren't being called anymore. We're not using the data in shock so it's really just as easy as removing the extracted methods shop and dropping the data from the shops table. Okay so that's it that's the seven staff. It's a bit long winded and podcast form. But yeah there was the process we followed. Listeners are very much appreciate that and yes definitely check out the blog posts but I did have a follow up question for you. So are all seven steps meant to be done like in theory in one branch and then you deployed to production or there. Actually several production deployments in between there as you're testing things out so we did them as separate steps the great thing about this process as we've mentioned a couple of times that it's incremental so you can be making progress and continuously shipping things and then monitoring your changes in production and making sure that you know your system is still intact and if at any point anything goes wrong. It's really fast to revert. So Oliver Seven steps we shipped as like separate changes to production And then we would you know. Make sure nothing broke And then kind of move onto the next up So yeah you could. Of course like push everything into a single branch and then Roll it out but the really nice thing about this pattern is that you can do it separately. And it's kind of a nice logical flow. You're absolutely right. That is a huge advantage to that process. So on a fun note. Hugh did all the illustrations in the blog. Post because they are truly fantastic. I actually did the myself. So he thank you It was pretty therapeutic to get to spend some time doodling like inbetween making edits to the written part of the blog posts. So I had some fun with it for sure. That's amazing definitely check out listeners. Asia how can listeners? Follow you so I don't really have much of an online presence yet but I'm definitely hoping to keep making contributions to shop advise engineering blog to share some of the work. My team is doing to make core a little bit more manageable. So keep an eye out. I'm hoping to have some more blog posts about The work we're doing on their awesome Adrian. Thank you so much for taking the time to come. Talk with me today as you noted before the show. This is your first podcasts. And you absolutely crush it so thank you so much for relaying all those ideas and as I noted before Chiappa fi just as so many amusing things in rails and we really appreciate you sharing all of your knowledge. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me on.

developer Ottawa Tech Nation Britney Martin H Adriana Shop Derby Kobe partner salt lake Carlton Colonel Architecture Carlson Affi Carleton Rael Asia Sadeq St Louis
How to Put Hands and Feet on the Good News, with Adrianna Manaugh  EM274

Engaging Missions

21:32 min | 1 year ago

How to Put Hands and Feet on the Good News, with Adrianna Manaugh EM274

"Gauging missions. Show episode one. Seventy four this week we're talking with Adriana may know about consistency and what God's doing in Thailand and his answer was people people have come in. Christians have come in started helping them but then when they see that they're not converting they just leave welcome to the engaging mission show well we upbringing upbringing missions host Ryan. Thanks so much for stopping by and welcome to the show. Our goal is to equip challenge and inspire so you. This show is made possible in part by support from listeners. Like you visit engaging missions dot com slash patron to learn more about how you can be involved this. We're talking about the power of a long-term Perspective and consistent faithfulness as well as what God's doing in Thailand. Some really. Good stuff there before we do that. I'd like like to say a quick. Welcome to Don who recently liked the engaging missions facebook page. If you'd like to do that you can find it at facebook dot com slash engaging missions and also huge. Thanks thanks to Kirk Hugh and others for your comments and also for sharing things after our featured guest. Today I will have a short update for you about some upcoming changes the publishing schedule so make sure that you stay tuned for that with that. We're GONNA cut right to our time with Adriana all right today I have have with me. Adriana may no. I met her at Church when I heard her sharing her story in a Sunday school class and I really wanted to have her share a little bit more here on the show. She works in Thailand. where she's the team's volunteer coordinator at Partners Relief and development? You can find out more about partners at partners. Ngo Adriana welcome to the show. Thank you it was a little bit of a challenge to get the schedule because of all the stuff that's going on and so. I'm really glad that you have the opportunity to do this. But but I'm really kind of wondering your in involved involved in fulltime missions. You're involved with partners. Yes what was your background. And how did that lead you like. How did you know that you were called into missions? Yeah so my family. I grew up in a Christian family. I was became a Christian five. I've always enjoyed hearing missionaries talk while at churches and when I went to church they would come on Wednesday nights and I would wanNA listen. Listen and so. I always knew that I wanted to get into that and so because of that. I eventually got my bachelor's in intercultural studies at Taylor Fort Wayne And then also eventually my master's in international development that Eastern University. Oh wow so how that training I I would imagine. A lot of that is technical. Legal stuff you learning Bible. You'll learning techniques and stuff. Yeah how did that prepare you for being involved in Cross Cultural Ministry. Yeah Taylor being a Christian university kind of gave me that background Bible knowledge and just kind of admissions degree without the burden. It so that people could go and use this degree to to work internationally internationally. And so that's kind of why I liked it. And then the development degree eventually I realized that I wanted to do development and it was kind of a has all the aspects of development. So you learned about economics you learn about community development about relief and I have been quite sure where I wanted to be with an on that spectrum. I'm okay but it was a it was a good broad spectrum and I really enjoyed the program. I'm so it really gave me that kind of background that I I needed and so it's really interesting that it seems like it's probably the last twenty or thirty years or so. That development has really become an initiative where we realized that it's good to present the Gospel. We don't want to stop. So what in particular drew you to development. What parts of development that you really like at my church in Fort Wayne? We talked a lot about Christian. Social Justice okay. That kind of got me into the idea of. How can I use my calling in missions to do development with criminal justice and so that's what led me to get my master's asters degree eastern? Because I found this program to cushion university also and so it was Christian Perspective on development. And then you get that broad spectrum so I was like. That's really kind of where I wanted. Got To go and I was like. That's what I WANNA do. I really appreciate having the sermons at Church and the different things in different conversations with people about that so so how do you keep that balanced then because you do want to present the Gospel but you also want to put hands and feet to that. Does it ever become a challenge to keep those together. Yeah especially when you're working with people the groups who aren't Christian. We work with Muslims and Buddhists as well as Christians so when you're in a Muslim or Buddhist context you have to be a lot more careful and and most of what we share is out of relationship. We can't just go out and have Christian programming and things like that within those contact those people groups but we do eventually share you know Christ with them to our actions and they ask us and it comes out of that relationship so yeah I've heard every once in a while hear people say things that make me think that there's a suspicion that when you bring the Gospel and you bring some kind of social justice or some kind of community development that it's really kind of holding a carrot out in front of them to try to manipulate Tim into listening to the Gospel Right. What's the reality of that? It actually does happen. We actually in in Burma in one of the states that we work in the people that we work with their actually asked us not mean in particular but one of our people that were there. If if we are Christians in or a missionary in he kind of asked you know curious why why do you ask that. The question and his answer was that people have come in. Christians have come in started helping them but then when they see that they're not converting they just leave you've so it's showing them that they don't care about us in our needs they just want to convert us to their religion and so we have shown them that in our hearts that we want them to come to Christ but we're not helping them to confront them or helping them because God wants us to let people that sounds like that might be a bit of a challenge to overcome. How how do you? How do you overcome possibly decades of that kind of stuff? Yeah we just keep praying perseverance. Because that's kind of what you have to do. You have to build that relationship with them because some people I have been hurt so bad Christians coming in and doing that that they have a real deep distrust of Christians and what their motives are and so in that particular group and then another people group in Burma. We've had years of building relationships with them and having them to trust us and actually in in one of the places that we're working we they had ten years of working with them and we couldn't really do much about outwardly. evangelizing to them but now they've actually asked us to start like an English program Graham on Tuesdays and they're allowing US use the Bible and so that's a big wide door open. You know when it's been closed for ten years so it's a long call but I think if you perseverance. You're praying that there eventually will be breakthroughs. Yeah so you went to college. You had an interest in community development was was partners. The first I organization that you worked with Yes I had applied for other like other organizations because after I graduated I was looking for a place to serve and I had found partners online online and actually a couple of other my friends kind of posted their stuff on social media while on facebook and so I kind of had an idea who they were but they weren't like like I was just looking in different places but then when I looked again I kind of fell back on them so I was searching on. I was reading through their their website. Sustainability faith-based faith inspired spyros like. That's really what I want. I want I want to do this because of my faith but I also want things to be sustainable for the communities that were helping. I don't just want to go in and say you know L.. Here's some food by you know I want to be able to. We want to be able to help them to to build communities and to be able to eventually help themselves in their communities. And that's really important How I've heard that sometimes you may be going to a place and you have a vision for how things could be right but the people that are there maybe they have a different picture? How do you exactly ZAC walk that out? And make sure that you're serving them. Bridging that gap to serve them. The best you can in a way. That's actually best for them and every time that we can we talk to the community before we started project we we never want to start a project without talking to the community because we want to see what their needs are and what their resources are. We don't want to bring stuff in if they don't need those kind and if things and especially we don't want to bring a program in is if they're not going to be invested in it because of the community isn't invested then. It's not going to carry on if we have to leave so we want the community to be able to be a part of the the process of projects that are going to help our community so that they'll be able to do it themselves eventually. Sustainable can you can you think of An example of one of those times. We did that just to kind of share with us the the actual story of how that plays out. Yeah in in one of the states we work in. There's a community support network. We started that because of the community wanted to be able to help each other their ID's displace people and when they were displaced. I they were thrown into camps together and so they didn't know know each other they didn't know how to help each other and so they wanted this program and so we've we've introduces program program in our kind of helping them and instead of us as Westerners being there all the time we have four hundred volunteers and different DP camps that are just finding the needs out in their their camp in helping each other on their own. Doing their own initiatives for fundraisers so they can raise funds We do give them some resources that they need but mostly they're doing it on their own so you mentioned teams. You're the teams and volunteer coordinator. What is your involvement? How what what do you do? Yeah so I do teams Amman. Tears and I also import manager. So I have to edit a lot of reports that come in from our projects and get those out to people but also also organizing with people who want to visit so whether that be teams of people were that'd be somebody who wants to come visit our projects or if that be a volunteer. Who wants to come for two months or more? Okay I think when I was growing up back in the eighties my vision of a missionary was almost always the husband and wife team with their kids that go go into a place and they do something and there was never any talk about a team or administration or any kind of group of people. How does How does structure work at partners? Yeah so if a team is coming they have to be ten. People are less just because logistics. Okay and then we have them fill out an application to kind of see what their visions goals are. Because we don't want a team coming you know if they're not aligned with what we're doing so we'd kind of see what they want to do what they want to see on and then we kind of just expose them to some of our projects we you can take groups of people before you got involved with a with partners and went to Thailand. Did you have any other ministry roles that you were involved in. Yeah so In College I worked as a junior high youth leader over several years and then I worked in the nursery for many years as eighteen to twenty four months teacher really in the nursery and then I also volunteer with Angel Tree. I've led many teams to Haiti with different organizations that I was involved with before I started with partners so just a few different things here and there. Yeah I'm I'm really interested in that that does trips to Haiti because it seems like that might have kind of shaped your approach to ministry. Yeah can you share a little bit more about those trips. Yeah so I started going. My first trip was my sophomore year of college. I'm in my first international missing strip. I had done some and local. US mission trips before that but this was my first kind of eye opening trip overseas. and seeing what's going on overseas and it was through an organization and and like it just kind of opened my eyes to two missions even more like a Senate always wanted to do mission somehow. But I didn't really know how and just kind of seeing the reality of what it is on the field and in how people are suffering so you mentioned how people are suffering how'd you. How'd you avoid compassion and fatigue? Yeah that's for me especially in working at partners. We see a lot of sad stories. A lot of things that are going on on for me I see I try to to reading the the good stories the stories about hope to balance it out. 'cause we read all these bad stories are all these sad stories but we also have a lot of good stories of people you know lives have been changed and turned around and so for me reading those kind of helps me to balance it out because I know Oh that there's a lot of suffering and there's a lot of bad but at the same time where we can do only what we can and then God help us do that. was that a distributor Strategy or approach that you went to Thailand with no. It's just kind of something I've kind of learned myself too because reading all the bad stories does your get you know you can get depressed and get down and you need something to bring in that. Hope you know God. Is that hope but having those stories of hope that say what we're doing is counting. I mean it's might be one person and there are these hundreds over here suffering but it's one person and to that one person at counts and their loved and they know that and that's what kind of keeps me going knowing that we're helping even just the one person that I was gonna ask because it seems like especially if you're working working with people in in camps that that could be really challenging. Because there's a lot of stuff a lot of stuff I don't even know about right and then that can be that can be going gone there. I'm wondering if you've talked a little bit about park actually quite a bit about partners and I know that they've raised a good bit of money that they've been involved in a lot of projects objects. I'm wondering if you can tell us the story of a time when you've really seen one of these projects change somebody's life yeah The story I was thinking about was actually about one of our current staff members. Okay her Turner husband. They grew up in a refugee camp as children. They stayed in one of the boarding homes. That partners have supported through many many years. But now how by furthering their education and pressing on. They've been able to give back so they were in the boarding home receiving helping beneficiaries. And now aw she is working as partners staff member and he is working at a migrant school in the city and so they were beneficiaries. And now they're giving back to the people and and so for me that's like a whole turn around from being a child who's in a refugee camp with no hope to being someone who wants to give back to their people because of the opportunities that they've they've been given how. How common is that kind of story? I'm not sure I've heard a few stories about that happening. Where people will want to help their people and with the current people in in particular most of the people that I've met that's their desire is to go back in and help their own people and one of the other homes that we support in the camp? I had taken taking a team from Norway and they were drawing pictures about what they wanted to do. And many of the young young men and women maybe in their late eighteen early twenties they all were like we want to be put a Bible school mia passer and then go back to Kronstadt and help my people where I wanna go back the current state and be a teacher for my people and and so they're really invested in their in their people group in helping their people group and I think that's very inspiring for me to see that kids as you think about the work you've been involved in a lot for for a while and Mrs Involved in a lot of different kinds of what is the the single biggest need or challenge that you'd the you as an organization see there's so many I think it would be getting funding to do all the things that we do. We have over thirty projects with five different areas areas and getting funding for projects. All the time is it can be difficult but also just trying to make sure that we're using those funds in a way that's going to be beneficial official. We don't we don't want to do something wrong with the funds that we get. We want to make sure they're they're helping people in going to the right places and so getting those funds is quite challenging. Sometimes yeah so it would seem like you're almost always kind of forging a new path within every project and every initiative met have learned something in the past but a different people group is going to react differently so it could be hard to predict results. Does that become a challenge as well. Yeah we've been working in the area for over twenty years now so most people groups within Southeast East Asia. At least that we're working with. We've we know the culture and many of the people that work with US ask staff are those people groups and so it's not just westerners going to these people groups and saying you know you need to do this or needed. It's the local people that are working with us and for us that are going out and doing this with their people if somebody was wanting adding to get involved in missions what was. What's maybe one thing that you'd suggest that they do? I I think getting involved for you are at home. I because that can there are a lot of people that are coming to us these days. And so there's always something that you can do at home and so when you're doing that you can really find out if that's what you're calling is because if if you're not doing anything at home and then you just go over than it's it's not the same I don't think are. Are there any secrets that you've learned. Enjoy over the past years in terms of walking in faithfulness for a long time I think listening and learning are things that come to mind like being listening into God listening to what the word says listening to people. Okay 'cause we don't have all the answers and when you go into a place thinking that you have all the answers you're GonNa be sorely disappointed appointed so being able to listen to people and learn I think is very important and you mentioned that partners does take donations. uh-huh good good to know that you mentioned that there are groups that go over there. What are some of the? What are some of the other ways that people can get involved with partners? They could advocate. They could do fundraisers razors themselves in the money to partners. So those are the kind of different ways. Okay and as we can bring this to a close. I've just got a couple more questions. One one would be if somebody could just take away one or two things from our chat today. What would you hope they'd walk away with? I think again just being involved you know before you ago and then having the right attitude and idea about if you're wanting to get into missions that you can't have this mindset that you're going to have all the answers and that you can learn from different different people I think that's really important because and also having the right the heart because you have to know that you're called you can't just be like. Oh well I like to go live in such and such place. Yeah you know. It's going to be a lot harder than you think. It is not really knowing that you're called and also really being able to have the right motivation and perspective and not going going into it with I know everything I can save the world the savior complex. Some people have so. I think those are really good things to think about before you're going places about what are your attitudes. And what are your motivations. And then the last one just how can we best pray for you. Yeah just decides I go back here soon. I'm I'm going to be getting back into the work and praying for our team We have a lot of team members. that are doing a lot of different things especially with our work in Syria right now. There are some things going on in Syria that we have team members on the ground there so just praying for the organization in general within our work in our projects in our fundraising. So yeah for those. That are listening. I would encourage you to go ahead and positive recording impre phrase Ronda. Now because if you're like me you're probably GonNa Forget by bedtime so just do that now and then in in terms of the show notes. We'll have a way for you to connect with partners. We'll have that link there for you level free to e Mail Adriana if you'd like it and also if you're interested in getting involved in learning more about that we'll I have an email address for you for that as well all in the show so just visit those. And we'll we'll make sure that that's available Adrian. I just WanNa say huge thank you. Thank you for taking the time to make it. All the way over here did due to do this huge thanks again. Adriana for being with us and also to you for joining US episode notes are available Ed engaging missions dot com slash Adriana may know or if you're listening in your favorite podcast app you can vary likely tap or click or swipe to get there so you can find links to the things that we talked about as well as a way that you can connect with her. Make sure that you come back next time. It's actually going to be next week. We're going to be talking with Erik nevins about about facebook groups and how missionaries and Church. Planters can use those in some of the valuable things that he's learned by running some groups in terms of building relationships being being engaging some stuff like that. I think that's stuff that's going to be really valuable. I also mentioned to you that I have an update about the publishing schedule. I share a little bit couple of weeks ago. Here's the plan having trouble keeping up with the publishing schedule right now. So my plan is to go to as often as I can get one published at this point. I don't have another one recorded recorded for you after Eric's some. I'm not exactly sure when the next episode is going to be however if you'd like to make sure that you get that when it's out make sure that you subscribe to the show. Engaging engaging missions dot com slash subscribe if you have any feedback for me or if you found this to be valuable. I'd really appreciate that feedback. You can email me Brian. At engaging remissions DOT COM or if there's somebody that you know that you think could benefit from our conversation today make sure that you share that with somebody so that they can benefit from it as well one more time. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you. Look forward to getting that episode with Eric Out for you as well.

Ngo Adriana US Thailand facebook volunteer coordinator Burma Partners Relief Haiti Kirk Hugh Ryan Don Eric Out Taylor Fort Wayne Cross Cultural Ministry Fort Wayne Taylor Syria Angel Tree Amman
69. Adrianna Hahn - Hahn Hoops

Big Fellas Basketball

36:20 min | 2 months ago

69. Adrianna Hahn - Hahn Hoops

"Welcome to gen z hoops z. Basketball coaching in sports business. Show on this podcast. You'll learn from professional players coaches and executives from all over the world and see the court and a brand new way and now joining you courtside your gen z host. Sean harder phyllis reynolds going up. How are you going. it's going good beautiful day outside. it's really fun. It's great antion podcast and superfund having you on talking about all the stuff you've been doing i mean whether it's your career whether you're doing now after you've graduated and you're going to this whole coaching journey. It's super bowl. Tab yuan thank you thank you yes marched. You know that's always a big month for basketball Even during this pandemic march still feels like an important month. Also march is female athlete. Wants some doing a lot of things with that work with. East bay time and You know there's just a lot of things to do in the sports world besides just watching the games on tv which. I'm super blessed to be able to do right now that you know the nba g. league and wnba were playing in the bubble so everything's been good With my business you know. The kids are working grinded getting ready for spring and summer stuff like tournaments and camps and clinics. But you know every damn training building the business also just doing some of my personal ambassador. An influencer stop and social media Doing content like this being on podcasts and interviews and such just to you know. Continue marketing my brand. Because it's not just you know what you do in a gym every day. It's not just the people you talk to. It's kind of how to you use all of those outlets in resources that you have to create new business opportunities new projects or just opened opportunities for your audience and my audience of asli are the kids that i work with every day trying to gain new clients and then also the audience that i have virtually who may not be able to meet me in person stuff. You know how you interact with that because both types of audiences are super important. So it's just interesting trying to manage and process all this in at the same time. Grow your business. But it's you know we'll see how it goes. It's going really well. Far from what. I could tell really good margin before this. I mean it's super cool pack. There's so much impact you're doing so much. And like the whole point of this show is obviously gen z young people and all the cool stuff that that we're all doing i'm gonna see. Just start off though. I mean when it comes. Everything's about basketball with you. But where does that passion kind of start. And how did that obviously progress. Maybe through high school. Obviously you were really good. But what what are the passion for from. So i will definitely say the passion stems from my father. Who was my coach from the time. I couldn't remember picking up a ball to my last game and honestly it hasn't stopped them because my dad helps me with my business to this day. And you know he's almost like a manager for me in phnom can talk to whenever i run into issues or you know. What do i do here. How do i do this. you know. The basketball impact is still there. Even though i'm not wearing the jersey so you know that type relationship most kids unfortunately don't get to have and even though it's not guaranteed to have that if you wanna be successful but i have to say that i credit. My dad's almost eighty eighty percent of my success. That's just because he saw things for me before i did. He pushed me. He obviously has best built basketball knowledge and expertise So all of that combines into being you know your coach trainer supporter. Father guide her You know he was all in one. So everything was in the house in the gym. Twenty four seven The grind the work ethic the mentality never changed. So i will say that big basketball goals for me did start at a young age. I had dreams of playing in the wnba. Probably when i was in fourth grade always knew. I wanted to get a d. one basketball full ride scholarship. But you know you don't really know those specific details until you get older and start going into those doors with college coaches and having those conversations but it's the idea of knowing what's out there and seeing it and studying the game so i was big kobe. Bryant fan always watched games on tv. You know youtube wasn't really there back. Then but you are still able to go back and research. Old highlights fine games and and just study. I was a huge supporter of the wnba. Long story short. Elena della donne. Mvp of the wnba. Two years ago went to my high school. An all girls high school. Coercing academy in wilmington delaware so very small world. You know i look back. And i'm blessed to have all of these connections and you know. How did i run into these people are. Why did this happen for me. And that's how. I got in contact with that high school. I i ended up going there. She had taken me to wnba game. You know i was that kid that she saw on the camp that had a lot of potential and desire to be great and she kinda wanted to show me a little bit of her personal life. You know the ropes of the mcdonald's all american you know player of the gatorade player of the year at the time. What it's kind of like what this big stages like you know. She was going to yukon at the time She was all over magazines. Espn it was insane. And when we had gone to the wnba game she actually knew all the wnba players. We went into the locker room after the game it was almost like she was already in the wnba as a high school player so the level of status and the level of the doors that she had access to you know not a lot of basketball players are athletes in general at that age. Have that so. I was able to see a really really high level. Even when i wasn't there my goals and the ceiling of my goals was super super high. So you know. I always wanted to be great you know. The work ethic never stopped goals. Were high and that's kind of what kept me pushing throughout throughout my entire journey as huge. The just january Other really caused. We're going to dive into thinking about your your your role model at thirteen fourteen years old being. Oh let's go to this stuff you ain't. Let's go into the locker rooms. That's actually a bit younger. I was. I was about fifth grade. Oh my god yeah yup. So it's interesting you know. I was a kid that had entered into the summer camp. She was the counselor working there at the high school. You know you look back and say everything happens for a reason. I figured like we had like forty fifty point games like you end up being villanova's like alternative in three point all these things like what are you doing to these. Poor fifth graders this interesting as well part of my journey as my dad to a really good job of putting me in different basketball environments so wilmington delaware which is where. I'm brian is actually a great city. you know you have your inner city. You're outside city. There's a lot of new development With environmental justice. And you know the city's really growing so where my facility is the seventy sixers fieldhouse that i train in now It's right in the middle of everything so you know. The environment is open to all different types of kids different families. You know so you need that in a sports environment and you know a buried divers sports environment but going back to that when i was in fourth fifth sixth probably all the way to eighth grade. My dad took me to the inner city of wilmington and put me in an all boys. League at the wilmington hicks anderson center. Who i'm still affiliated with to this day. That's where a lot of my kids. Actually come from the community center. So i bring them the opportunity to come play at. The fieldhouse can train with me. You know play for my haunt hoops team. Really you know. Almost give them access to that stage moment that i had as a kid at an early age just for their dreams and desires to heighten. Because that's where it starts. You know you can't force a kid to do things you can't put the image in their head you can only kind of show them little bits of pieces and then they go to dream and you know it's endless from there but you know i was playing in a all boys league and i was the only girl at the time you know i was the only white person so it's just a different environment that you're not used to but this changed me into a better person and a better basketball player you know. I developed skills. That a lot of boys had at that age. Or i was just as strong is a lot of boys so then when i went and played on girls teams and girls camps and such i really stood out so you know going back your question you know. I wasn't necessarily dropping all these coins games weren't built like that. I was on so many different teams. You know you're really young and as a beginner. You're kinda just floating around but in a sense everywhere i went. I was seen as that sane consistent killer player that was just dominating super bowl to think about that and then also thinking about that whole just being consistent sukhoi work ethic and you obviously much in kobe at the beginning and the story of ham. Just see you in the hallway in the whole villanova right. i just. that's just so cool and thinking about that like that. Just like such an awesome story. What i mean we. We spoke about your dad and his role as a mentor. Someone like kobe who you didn't meet until so much later on but you always just knew of him. What was that kind of mentorship from someone that you that. You never really knew until until so late. The story and moment of my life is so impactful than i probably talk about it at least once a day. Neither to a kid or a parent or even random person. If i'm wearing something laker's fan. And i just showed him the picture or tell them the story because it means so much to me but as a kid yes you know. I saw coby bryan on tv. And i knew from there that. That's the type of player that i wanted to be again at the time you know. He stood out amongst those players. So obviously my vision. You know just watching the basketball game. That was the one that i saw and kept my eyes on for a reason. My whole room is kobe. Bryant purple and yellow lakers diehard fans. You know just being a girl a white girl from wilmington delaware that loves this. Nba team in the nba guy. You know. I got bullet for it when i was younger. Actually and you know in highschool start hanging around with boys and you know they're just. Why do you have this sports boys room. You know all this stuff And it never knocked me in a sense. You know i'm like why doesn't everybody support koby because you know upon his death we obviously so that changed the world but you know sometimes when you have a specific sports figure or you love something. A lot of people won't support it. They just don't have the same amount of value as you so from all of this versity in opposition from people. It actually made me want to be better at basketball. You know i was that kid whose dad really pushed them. And i could not relate that to a lot of kids. It was almost like. I had this secret life at home. 'cause i didn't understand it. I was way too young you know. Why is basketball such disciplined right now. Why is basketball. Almost a number one thing. I have to do just because he saw how crucial certain outlets were in my life my entire life also. I wanted kobe. Bryant to notice me. I had seen him play at the seventy sixers against sixers fieldhouse. wells fargo. But i always wanted to go to l. a. And then he retired. So i thought well it's over you know. I'm never going to meet kobe. Coming to have to try to build my business so that maybe i could work at mamba kademi one day or be a trainer. There you know possibly start some of my interviews and you know i had metta world peace. Who was one of his big teammates and stuff. So maybe you know. I'll get connections for him and it never happened. So i'm a junior at villanova. We actually entered into the incidentally tournament that year in lost to university of notre dame where the champions that year so you know this year was a little bit different. That was the only time. I had went to the ncaa tournament as well as villanova athlete. I went once out of my four years. Which i still look back on and kind of regret a little bit but boom indianapolis or i'm sorry. Columbus ohio girls women's final four university of notre dame and mississippi state university of connecticut and baylor women's basketball all of these teams and here's uconn in the semifinals. And i have a media pass. So i know a lot of philadelphia for reporters insert show Able to get access to these things you know. This was just something that i knew that trying to be great at what you do can offer so many other opportunities elsewhere so you just have to stick to that but anyways it's halftime boom. Go in the back of the locker room of the tunnel and him and his entire family come out in the first person. He recognizes me. You know no introduction. No koby bryant. This girl women's basketball players who play. I was with other girls who play basketball different universities. You know they may not have been as highlighted as me but we're still there and for him to recognize. You know that little white girl that plays basketball. Because i still see myself as that. You know it's interesting in looking back on my entire life. Why i loved him and his mentality so much so after this had happened i was like this happens for a reason you know now. I understand why i worked hard my entire life. Now i understand you know the grind the all of those times i could acquit or all of those times where i was. Shut down from either people or my personal injuries. Or you know some college recruiters college coaches not believing. I could play at their program a lot of doubts at the end of the day. You only had yourself and your desires in your ambition and you know all of those stemmed from me having kobe bryant as that profile during my life so to see him physically and him have that impact towards me. You know there was something that i did for him to recognize me so the now there's a two way relationship and who would ever thought that you would have a two way relationship with kobe. Bryant one of the best players of all time one of the greatest athletes of all time when going out of the athletic world. One of the biggest influencers ever. It's crazy to know how and why to this day. I reach out to vanessa brian. All the time. I reach out to the mamba academy i am super super invested in trying to get more affiliated with his family or his business in his community out in la. So there's more to come with kobe bryant and from that moment that's all i know is i'm doing this for him. You know and we all thought. Kobe bryant had all the answers. And you know something so tragic happen to a man that was so good in a in a a daughter that didn't even really start her life You you start to question how and why. But you can't you can't all you can really do is stick to your goals and your dreams be a good person and you know. We'll come back to you so kobe. Bryant is ingrained in my life forever. Yeah credible clean. Not just about how ingrained. Here's your life because or any or all of our lives because of his playing crude because of what he did afterwards right what. He's what he's doing for women's basketball what he's doing all these other things. It kind of philly. His retirement is be better than his playing career. Which is why has his passing Was so shocking. And when thinking about that when you brought up when he retired you thought it was over. No chance of seeing him again. I'm like the thought of it's over in its final and then how ties into how. It was really just the beginning for him. I'm curious about with you when you ended. It might be easy to look at it and say okay. Age rana's basketball career is over but in fact it was the beginning. Because you're doing all these cool things now. So can you talk about a little bit about that. That that that your life in that decision of starting on hoops. And what is taken you. I never thought that i would create a basketball training business. I always that would potentially be a coach one day but you know i thought i would do that a little bit later on in my career. You know you kind of see a basketball coaches older person. And i didn't want to go through the levels of coach middle school coach high school. You know just because. I thought that my expertise and knowledge of the game has surpassed that when i first left villanova. I thought i was going to get a guaranteed job in sports production. I was interviewing in. La new york. I thought that my resume and social media platform would really help me stand out and i would definitely get it. It was the complete opposite. I that denied it. A lot of interviews granted. I was at huge companies. Worldwide companies Fortune five hundred companies and is very challenging and competitive. But you know when you have a strong network that you would think kind of is the best outlet. Sometimes it's not and you can't rely on it when i actually came back to wilmington delaware. I was serving in a restaurant. And i did that as a villanova point. Guard actually I worked in a breakfast brunch cafe. And you know going back to playing in the inner city community in a boys league. That was something that you know. I knew was a totally different environment to the kids that i was going to villanova with my basketball team and such but i knew that it would only benefit me. My communication skills got excellent being server I met tons of people who had totally different lives than me. Totally different upbringings and childhood experiences. And you know it was just a different world. That i was able to be a part of you. Know during this chaotic villanova point guard. Big stage verified social media account. I wanted to have both. And so you know. I carried that into my non playing career after college and i was very disappointed. You know i didn't know who i was. I did not believe or have the confidence in my skills to be translated into the real world. I didn't know that what you learned on a basketball court or Sitting could be appropriated into somewhere else in the real world. It was hard for me to judge just and balance all of this and so then you know eventually. I got the courage to start doing things on my own. That's when i started doing media interviews on my instagram with some celebrity guests athletes. and such. And you know using my network in more personal way you know. And then i get a call one day from this director trevor. Cooney who i knew previously because in delaware it's a small world. He's a great basketball player and such late at syracuse. And you know asked me. If i wanted to start training some kids in basketball this multimillion dollar facility and i never even knew it was there until i had gotten this call. So you know. I wasn't even going out of my way to try to get into a gym. I was training kids out in their driveway or outside park. You know it was almost like i felt. I had to do this because of the places that i was at because of basketball and the goals accomplishments that i made for myself you know. I felt like it would be disrespectful. If i didn't train these kids you know and then eventually realize you have to start making a living and you know everybody need to make money in this real world especially during own on that pandemic. This was right when i started my business and Thankfully my gym was able to stay open during this time. And that's when it all hit. All these kids started coming to the gym Granted i already have a strong network in delaware so a lot of people already know my name but you know that spread more and more and now i have all levels of kids This business is the type of business where you have multiple businesses and one business so all of the relationships are different. Every kid has a different goal. Different desire every kid has a different starting point. So you know there's a lot of things to work with. But if i did not have the facility by did not have strong connections or these resources on my hometown would be really really difficult. A lot of trainers have to rent community centers. High school gyms. It's difficult it's the facility is the hardest part of the business especially if you want to start running camps and tournaments and stuff and to have one primary location is the best thing because then your audience is not running around and scrambling to being a twenty three year old trainer. You know march. It's been one year of business. I'm truly blessed to see everything that i've been given and you know the people that i've met and you the most important part of this business is to change. The kids lives. I mean that doesn't have to be with basketball. Basketball can open more doors than a lot of other industries in society and a lot of people don't highlight that or support it because you know. It's academics i or you know this i When actually you know the world is changing. You don't have to do this or have this to get this anymore And you know that whole nine to five. Concept is kind of going away. Our generation is changing that you know and being a basketball player. You have a lot of branding and marketing outlets in the sports industry. A lot of are being tied to skin care products. And you know how and lifestyle routines and you know. They're doing other things support. That athletic identity so for me being you know being an athlete you know i know bias but being a basketball player i think is the best route to starting a successful life. It's what you said about about how our generations different right and how maybe if our parents more cookie cutter like you have to take this path. But for us. I would say you mentioned before whether it's education and all these other things i i would say it's passion for anything on whatever way whatever you pick as long as you're following your passion you're gonna be fine yours is basketball might obviously is to and a lot of listeners to the show and they might be hearing other things where it's like. Okay maybe it's my maybe it's more of a hobby but no if you're that into it it will be your passion some kind of curious you. It's so fantastically able to start in march right like imagine like maybe it was it. Was it a few days before a few days after the pandemic but we'll start it. There was a day. would you say right. All you know like january twenty six hobie that that happened and then you know we already heard about corona but it was just now entering into the us and then now people started dying unexpectedly and you know boom boom mummum mummum than it's like. Oh you can't go out of your house but then you know. I have access to this gym and i could train kids so you know it was almost like you guys gonna do you know. What are these kids. What are you going to do with your kids. Who what am i gonna do with my business. What are we going to do with this facility. So yeah at that time. It was probably the most chaotic got. No definitely i'm thinking in terms of like if you do then under those circumstances would you. Are you gonna go from here because once things started coming back a little bit to normal magic so much easier for you to grow on hoops. But what could we expect or what. What could you players expect to see to see your just absolutely take off over the next few months years. What is what does it look like to. You know that's interesting. Because as i grow this business you know there's so many new different ideals that come into my head and you know i'm by myself right now. There's no other coach. No direct or manager social media team. Nothing they do everything so you know at the same time. I have to really think about which you know. Next growth or step to my business is the most important in their most crucial. And that's not necessarily for me. That's more for my kids. You know what's necessary for them right now in their growth. What do they need. You know even in terms of equipment or what. They need Do i have to start setting up. Showcase college events here fieldhouse. Do i have to have you know. Do i have to start creating basketball teams like an organization. I already have teams organized. But do we go down that route. You know like. I said i have east bay as a huge partner behind me which is great. They are not a company within that. Aau circuit similar to like nike. You ib l. the armor circuit. So it's interesting to see where they will go with me in this process but at the same time you know. I don't feel that. I need that to be a strong team organization or summer program in terms of my business. You know being in this tristate area wilmington delaware. You know i plan to grow this facility in my haunt hoops business as one of the most elite in this area so in terms of attracting teams into tournaments and hosting bigger events. and such. You know. I plan to put on hoops in that light. Been that will also highlight my players. Who are in that light under our team and organization We obviously do training all year round training. I believe is an important aspect before you can even start playing start competing. Start showcasing the talent in front of college coaches. And that's what a lot of parents. And sometimes coaches of avoid is the training aspect. Or what do you need to do when you are training You know you have to have a level of basketball expertise knowledge of game and you know modern updates of the game. You know who studies the game like that you know. I know specific footwork. I know court awareness. I know what college coaches are looking for. And then you know. I know what the players need outside of their basketball talent in terms of being coach -able or being leaders and having accountability. You know it's it's more than basketball Which makes it a little bit more harder but makes the vision greater so it doesn't feel like it's too much but you know going back to being an athlete because it is more than basketball. That's why i truly believed that. Sports is a bigger than what a lot of people think. It is everything that i've learned on the basketball floor. I can articulate into the real world now and you know i don't have a business degree. I went to villanova university and was in the arts and communications program So you know. What i was doing wasn't necessarily what i thought. I would have now but from the skills that i learned. I'm able to run a business. I'm able to manage my social media. Marketing and branding. And you know i'm able to manage my network and such and you know i. I didn't take one business class in college. So you know you kinda have to not necessarily try to gain specific things or have certain titles or anything like that my business you know as long as my kids are getting better as long as they have bigger and better opportunities that i have opened for them. You know as long as they are fully committing and i'm seeing their growth not as just basketball players but as you know mature young ladies or young gentlemen you know. That's what i see. And like i said before my son. Hoops academy is very diverse. So to see these kids from different environments and going to different schools and different families and to see them create friendships. And you know now they're blowing each other on social media you know were community. So that's the most important thing when it comes down to this where growth is in the future is just becoming a bigger stronger more accepting opportunistic community skills. Because that's important thinking about all that we spoke about air about roy bran's followers how that stuff's not that important when it comes to building your brand obviously awaited social media you and you touch on that at the end or you're doing now with the wolfpack fairly show going on different things but kind of what it all comes back to return games how you look at the views in the numbers you gotta care more about the the interactions and the actual relationships and they're able to build what would have that. Would that look like for you. When a wise at some point you know. I did a lot of work in la In the hollywood stage and so that was also my first introduction to kind of sports production outside of my own personal interviews on a basketball court. Which really has nothing to do with sports media production when you go to a great connections out there at great opportunities. I was thrown in the fire on movie sets and tv shows and you know being a manager assistant and you know being in big business meetings and such you know i had a in a green light and it was all thrown to be so at the same time even though i say i worked in hollywood and there with these downs to it there was also this huge level of excitement. And you know aspiration for just everything that i wanted to do. You know at at the same time and being layoff met people who had bigger numbers than me bigger followers you know they worked with bigger companies and they were showing that. But you know. I was kind of listening to their conversation in seeing the actual reality of it and i didn't see that value in there you know it was almost just talk. And that's what i was not about. You know i was not going to do this in the fake way. I was not going to fake it to make it You know. I never did that with basketball. It was all about putting hard work in seeing real results from that you know sticking with those true people who supported you in and wanted you to be successful and vice versa. So when i saw this. I knew that this wasn't the route that i wanted to go down and at the same time like i said before when i was getting denied from every job interview i decided to start doing things on my own. And that's when. I started doing that content on instagram. In using my network. Now when i decided to choose my guests for my show outside the huddle which is a sports lifestyle and culture. Show centered around not just interviewing athletes but interviewing those whose perspective and opinion opinions matter in the athletic world. You know the stem from that politician. Telling the bond james to just shut up and dribble you know. Athletes are not just athletes in this idea of athletes just being athletes in society. You know. I will take that away when i started doing this I always wanted instagram to be professional network for me. I always knew. I could sort of make money from it and use it as a career at the time you know. A lot of people thought. I was crazy and thought that that would never happen. And then you know eventually. Instagram started growing and social media. Now we have influencers and ambassadors. Now we see it every day. It's almost overused. So because it's overused now you know. That's where i saw the route that i didn't want to go down. Don't just give me a discount code. Don't just send me this product. You know that's a long term relationship. That's not real business. That's not real results. So i sent them away from that. And i really tried to also work with companies who want to not only use me but use my company and support my kids and all of my endeavors. And what i'm doing you know it's not just me. So you know those lose bats equality that a lot of people kind of don't even have one. They have five million followers on instagram. Or or because they have a blue check. You know. This is what they do know. You're not going to get money from instagram. You're not going to get real value networks from instagram. It's how you use your instagram platform and take it outside of instagram. You know it whether that's is podcasts. Or interviews like this whether you produce you know real live content for a company or product and you go to their events and you know you're you're at public events speaking for them when you're in the workout or you're in the video you know you're with athlete or with their other ambassadors. You're now bringing that company into what you do every day. Twenty four seven. The quality for me I also have a very small very small circle personally so you know when i look back on that you know you're always gonna choose quality over over quantity. It's not the person's name it's not what they have. It's not what they've done in the past. It's who they are now and who they are with you and also who they are with what you not just who you are but what you have and the other people that are associated with you like my kids you know i lose followers every day. A high at one hundred and twenty thousand villanova. Have i think. I have one hundred one thousand one hundred thousand you know. I'll let that list keep going down because the other list that people don't see is going up that's a great quote and everything was great but that last call religious residential because you care so much more about the the nolan's seize the moment. Everyone looks at it. He goes out following numbers there. It's big it's got a big k next. Everyone kinda looks at it but everything else is more important so John thank you so much for coming on. Because especially i mean just the you really just spending factory now everyday you saying it is no interesting all just is is so important and a lot of people. Everyone forgets that stuff here from europe. Obvious via everyone forgets. I will say with that too. You know i you know i have to admit and you know i'm i'm just as guilty when i first started doing media content and you know like videos with celebrities and stuff. I felt that. I needed to say what people wanted to hear. Or i thought that. I needed to say this. Correct answer because that was the one that was going to be most supported but through that experience you know i realized that is the worst way to go because you know i would go back and listen to the interview and like i can't believe i said that or can't believe i just supported what that person said you know. I'm i'm thinking about it right now and you know i'm only in this room by myself and nobody really. Here's my real voice So i wasn't using my platform figure the best way and over time. I realized i want to be the opposite. I want to almost open the conversation. you know. Almost be that argumentative but controversial aspect and voice to possibly you know attack real issues and be able to find a resolution for them and you know now that i have this and realized it and learn the ins and outs. There's no way i'll say something. That isn't true. Just because i know that the benefit of that will not meet me later on in life so as long as you could be genuine and know that from right now you know. That's what i tell my kids every day. Is you know. Be yourself you know. Set your own goals. And do that for you and never lose sight of yourself along the way and i have to admit that from some of my instagram dealing with that and you know the big stage and stuff you can get sidetracked. You can start to think you have to become this person or this outlet because of what society is. But you don't if anything you know the the hardest thing to do is be yourself in that in that light because of who you are because what you have and a lot of people are listening that the you know going through that if you remember why people followed you from the beginning or why people supported you. You know. that's what they're gonna wanna listen to in here and believe in usa. Don't change but you know you'll probably see me. Spent more facts later on. Because that's all that's all i really want to do is tell the truth. I'm looking to content of always keeping a real saw. But you did it on this show going to keep on doing it. And it's it's the right way to go about things so thank you so much for coming on an absolutely. Just thanks again. Draft so much knowledge yet. Whether it's to the kids. I coach to look whoever it listen to this from it. So thank you. Oh yeah now thank you. This is great. Thank you for having me on. Thanks for listening to gen z hoops. Make sure to follow like and subscribe on instagram link and all major social media platforms at gen z poops. You can tune in and subscribe on apple podcasts spotify youtube and every other podcast platform on the planet. Get ready for the next episode.

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50 - Interview with Movie Mistress (Adrianna Gober)

Whores Talk Horror

58:38 min | 11 months ago

50 - Interview with Movie Mistress (Adrianna Gober)

"Welcome, Tom, fours, talk, or we're not really horse. We just like word play. Hello, welcome to Horse Talk Horror. I'm Sharon and I'm Melinda. Today we are psyched to be interviewing Adriana Gober. Who is the director of programming? Aka Movie Mistress for the Horror Streaming Service midnight movie society, which showcases extreme, underground, taboo creature, features and cult movies, and we cannot wait to hear more about it. She's also a contributing author for the website. CINNA PUNKS DOT COM, a self-described quote community of writers, thinkers, artists and Weirdos. I'll lending their talents to create a unique voice in the cultural conversation unquote. Adriana programs films at a local Art House. Cinema is a podcast go women podcasters, a musician, an avid reader with a passion for social issues, and my God does she do anything else and of course she's a huge horror Fan Adriana. Thank you so much for taking time out of your clearly very busy schedule to talk with us today. Thank you for having me. We're thrilled to have you here first things first. Let's talk about midnight. Movie Society I did a little homework to for our chat and understand that I'm going to go with M.. S. is the short version for a midnight movie society if that's okay. Now. That's perfectly fine. Awesome I understand that S is a collaboration between MVP, Entertainment Group and the Horror magazine remorse. Can you tell us a little bit about the inception of midnight movie society, and how you came to be involved? Sure so initially you know what got MVP thinking about? Starting their own streaming service for her? was that a lot of? Their wearables had films another content up on the water streaming platforms like Amazon and Google, play and over and over again they were seeing that content removed due to You know very strict content restrictions that these platforms had so other started to think you know. These these films deserve to be seen. So how can we create a space for them and not have to worry about? Retaliation for content and so. They decided to launch their streaming service and they reach out to remortgage. just because you say a pretty well known and well respected. Horror Publication and You know they just wanted. To team team up. Fanta then you know. The way I came into. It was I had been programming films for a couple of years and I. Just knew some of the folks that MVP. From seeing them at at various. Events and they knew I was Har fanatic. And that I was knowledgeable about endre and I followed closely so. They invited me to serve as the curator and acquisitions. Person for midnight, movie, society, and so far. It's been a lot of fun and. A really great opportunity. That's awesome. You kind of actually answered. One of my follow up questions but I'm curious. How do you get around any sort of streaming, restrictions or anything like that? For the movies that you guys want to show midnight movie society is powered by the meal Ot. And they they do have certain restrictions so for the most part. It's kind of just up to our discretion. You know what we want to put on our platform, so there's not as much oversight as there would be on. Say Amazon Gotcha assuming the people signing up for the service. No, they're kind of getting into so. Yes and we understand that a midnight movies. Society is more of a niche streaming service. and we're really catering to. Specific kinds of horror genre fans. And so you know we make it very clear that the website although there are, there's more mainstream things. movies, society as well, but it definitely caters to fans of more extreme horror. Films in particular Gore and splatter films, actually speaking along those lines. Can you tell us what your curation processes like four minute movie society until very recently. I was a little bit of women it in and the. Kinds of films that I could. Add to the website just because we were sticking to films that were already part of the MVP, Film Library so the acquisitions part. A as an aspect of the role that I have only just started to really dip my feet into because I now now that the the the site has existed for almost a year now. It's time to start looking for some fresh content and start looking outside of. What was already within the MVP Film Library? Until recently I kind of I I was picking from a limited pool of films, and now I'm kind of starting to branch out more. I'm looking for I follow a lot of power blogs in new sites in I'm in a lot of group, so I try to look out for a lot of indie films are are smaller features that show, innovation, creativity, or just something I find cool that I think. Could benefit from being on our site and I'm also trying to get some more Female directed in LGBT focused films on the site. As well. We do have some, but again I was kind of women in what I could choose from so now. I'm. I'm really trying to. Broaden our horizons a bit in. Do you make it a point to watch all the movies that you add to the collection or are there some that you? Just you read about, and you're like okay. I think we should add this without actually having to watch it, or what is your process without I? Try to watch as much as I. Can because I kind of want to note I'm putting up there and and a lot of the stuff. I was already familiar with when I accepted the role just from. Being Extremely interested in the on our since I was a kid. It's something that I've always followed so I've seen a lot of movies, but yeah I. Generally if I don't watch the entire film, I'll at least try to. Scan through it to get an idea of. The kind of movie it is not only to to know what content I'm promoting, but also just just so I can market it. You know and you have to be able to talk about the film, so I wanNA. Know what I'm talking about. Absolutely. Yeah, no, that definitely makes sense is there. Are there any type of movies that you would refuse to put on? Like anything that you think would push boundaries to modular crosses any sort of blinds. Trying to think here. I, don't know that's kind of tricky. Because a lot of these movies trade in extreme violence in some cases. Violence I think maybe I would draw the line at something that you know. We're not live lake so early. Snuff films are things of that nature. Would not have a place on our website but but generally speaking we're. We're pretty We're pretty open. Shifting gears. Just, slightly I noticed online. You were featured in a video from. Is it art quest Bethlehem? God. Well. Were you listening to your top ten favorite movies of the to the twenty tens, and personally I was thrilled to see that the handmaiden was your number. Two Pick I adore that movie I, I like I love Shannon. I can never see his name Hark Sean Wouk thank you. She said. I love him anyway, but I actually watched handmaiden with a group of friends like a year ago. I because we were excited to see it and I. We were all just blown away yet again by him is it's so beautiful and I love that movie. And revisiting a film whose plot revolves around a lesbian love story yet is directed by a well known horror film director. You know I I'm curious to know what your experience has been as a queer woman in horror spaces, both as a fan, a writer, and now as curator for a mess. That's an interesting question, and it's kind of complicated because I feel like there's a few facets to it. although I guess I'll just start by saying that for the most part I think. He did a really great job with that film. I don't think it is overly male gazing, although there is one scene in particular that takes me right out of the movie every time, and I think it's like most notorious scene in the film I don't know if I need to go into details about it. I beat if you really want to. I, think what you're talking about. It I mean this is ring scene, but it's such a good movie. Otherwise I agree did a really good job and I don't know if you've read the book that it's based on Fingersmith by Sarah Waters. I've not no. It's fantastic that tipping the velvet I really. Recommend reading. Both of those novels so I feel like it's weird because Harper is a Jonah that queer people have historically gravitated to because it's so often centers outsiders and misfits, people who were misunderstood sometimes quite literally. They're monsters so I've I've encountered like a lot of queer people in our communities, but at the same time. There is this weird kind of Like Boys Club mentality to a lot of her circles by that I mean. You know straight. White males are still kind of the predominant voice in the spaces and often. That create an environment that can be a bit hostile or unwelcoming especially when you try to address. you know like microaggressions or or other things that are going on within the community that are are toxic yet it's kind of complicated because generally speaking. Most of the people I've met. Through fandom are are really great people. There I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've ever been met with like real hostility or felt unsafe but you know my experiences very subjective so I'm not speaking for other people when I say this, but I think things are getting better and I. Don't know if you've been following some of the discussions that have been happening with the sinister and Joe Bob Briggs. Yup but people are becoming more vocal on our on our trying to push discussions forward. To make our spaces more inquisitive and to to to make these spaces places where. Being in a sweeping bad behavior under the rug. A won't be tolerated anymore, so if that makes sense. Yeah I've actually. been filing some of that recently, I started watching the new drive in I wasn't really aware of all the controversy surrounding him with some of the remarks that he's made in the past or more recently and now I've been kind of turned off from washing that. Just knowing. Some of his. Opinions that are not exactly very inclusive it just it just gives me like this gross feeling. Surrounding like the whole and like everyone loves him in. Everyone's watching him and everyone. You know like Friday nights. Everyone's like. Posting videos of them watching it and. Especially now with everyone being stuck in the house and being quarantined I. Think it's a way for people to Kinda like. Get together and and feel like they're a part of this community, and like. Maybe it's almost. It's replacing the feeling of going to the theater, but I just after reading some like some of the things you've been talking about. I can't enjoy it anymore and I I. DO think people need to stand up. Stand up in the horror community, and I've been very pleased this week seeing on Instagram, and just how many people have been posing like horror? The horror communities dance with black lives matter the whole community against racism and but you know people like Joe Bob Briggs, we need hold him accountable to just because he's a big star doesn't mean that he can get away with saying some of the things that he's been saying right. Yeah, and I, think Another part of it, too, is that a lot of these people who have been watching the last drive in our people who grew up loving job, outbreaks and That was a time. When as a culture, we were allowed more permissive. Of certain things that just wouldn't fly now, so these people are washing it through. The Lens of Nostalgia and they are not viewing it critically, and they weren't ever condition to to view that kind of media critically. It was just like a feel-good thing, and that's what it is for them now, but it's very disheartening to see these same people speak out and say. We support LGBT Har- fancy and yet They'll watch. Joe Bob Make A transphobic joke. It's like it doesn't register with them that there's a problem with that, but off. Conversations are happening, and people seem to be more receptive to criticism and into reassessing their perspective, and how they see things So that's encouraging. I agree it I I. Like your point about the nostalgia to it's like. Take for instance Rosemary's baby. It's amazing movie, but it was made by a Putt of. Yeah. You know! Does that mean? We all need to throw away our copy of Rosemary's baby or never? Watch it again. Just these conversations that we're having now and it's. It's about time. Frankly, but it's it's. It's a big gray area. Everything's not black and white. You know Rosemary's baby throws me for because I feel like that movie is one of the best movies about gas lighting like. Like it feels weirdly feminist in a way in that respect, and then it's like, but then you remember Oh Roman Polanski is. Pretty, garbage. Yeah Yeah so you've kind of touched on this a little bit Adriana but I kind of want sort of along the same lines what we've been talking about. Sharon and I are lifelong horror fans, and like you know when we were little being girls who like scary movies, goddess kind of weird looks, but that's yeah I'm I'm guessing probably because of the third and fourth graders weren't watching Freddie Krueger on the regular, but I know that even as adults men especially sometimes are taken aback by a woman who not only likes horror, but can speak intelligently about it and like I know that the name of our podcast is tongue in cheek, and we laugh a lot on here, but we kind of know what we're talking about. You know clearly you do, too. I'm curious. What challenges if any have you faced in? In your career that might have played out differently if you were a dude. Oh, man, I feel just like think back across an entire lifetime experience so far take your time. Take your time I have to I have to be very honest and say that so far in my in my career as a programmer, and as a a a Har- fan working within Har- spaces. I haven't experienced a lot of overt sexism, but certainly I've encountered. You know plenty of. Men who have condescended to me, talk down to me about horror, or who made assumptions that I I to know about you know a particular film or a particular director, and that sort of thing which you know is relatively behind compared to what some women have had to endure, but it you know it's still a problem because a culture that is permissive of those of those smaller issues. Eventually allows for those issues to snowball into. The bigger offenses and you know so I feel like it's important to address. These issues at every level. If that makes sense most of the real nasty stuff I've experienced as a Har-. Fan was when I was younger. I went. I endured twelve years of Catholic schooling. And especially when I was younger my interest in horror movies caused a lot of problems for me with teachers and with. The non who wasn't he principal of my? Grade, school and I don't know how much time we have. If I can go into this at all is kind of a long story, but basically yeah, please go ahead. Okay, cool so we have no time constraints here, so go go for it awesome, so my love apart was really fostered by my stepfather, who has a huge drawn film Fan Superhero super undecided by and from a very young age. He would let me stay up late and watch. Horror movies with him. That's good parenting. Yes, I, agree! but in second grade we were required to keep journals. Every student had to keep a journal and we had to write about our day, or whatever interested us at that point in time, so of course I filled. It was step about horror movies with illustrations. At the time I was really into full moon like all of the stuff they were putting out so I loved puppet master. Loved the pit and the pendulum anything they did with Jeffrey combs basically, and I remember vividly I drew a little picture of like a guy on a slab with the the blade swinging over him. And as you can imagine, that didn't go over well. Also my mother was called into the office. The administrator's office at school to discuss this with my teacher. The principal and they essentially accused her of being negligent. Negligent parent might go said she allowed me to watch our movies, which by the way again it was my stepfather, who really watched these movies with me My mom had nothing to do with it, but of course she was expected to to bear the responsibility of of doing this and I. Just WanNa make it clear that. My stepfather on my mom when she would watch with us, she's not really a horror fan. you know. He was always on hand to explain things to me to answer questions that I had and obviously if it seemed like I was overwhelmed, turn it off. It was a very responsible way of sharing media with your child. And, so you know I still have a lot of resentment about this incident, because I love my parents and. It was the stigma associated with her fans and enjoying horror is very bizarre. I you know I've seen a lot of men say there's something wrong mentally with women who enjoy our. It's very strange, but Yeah I I can honestly say that there are few things in life that have been more of a refuge to me than horror movies, and so I'm very passionate about them, and I will defend them I agree and I think that's really funny that men would say. There's something wrong with women who would watch her movies. When most of the time it's men making the movies where you have like helpless naked women young raped an attack. There's the okay, but if you watch that and you're a woman, there's something wrong with you. Yeah, it's strange. Your poor mother. That's that's that's a great story. Thank you for sharing. Because that was. Oh, my Gosh I would like on wasn't having any of it either actually. She still detests that teacher to this day. Good for good for her. I'd love to see that picture by the way that you. That's so funny. I wish I had it. It must be in a box set in my parents house somewhere because my mom has not thrown a single thing away that I've ever made at school or anything, but I have to look through that. Too, because I'm sure to music, that is so funny. So how'd that all pan out then with with Your mom being called to the school and everything. How did she respond which I'm assuming? They probably thought you were into some sort of like witchcraft or satanism. No clue I honestly. I don't think I've I don't think she's ever fully told me what she Saturday, but it must have been effective because I never had problems from those teachers ever again. Awesome well done, mom. Had other problems with other teachers that were unrelated to her, but. have. Haven't we all? I WANNA actually want. We really wanted to ask you. I noticed that you did a review about David Lynch documentary the art life. And sharing it really did your research. I'm impressed. Well Really interesting and so Google and then fall rabbit hole. There you go, are you? Do you consider yourself a lynch fan? Oh? Yeah, he's one of my favorite filmmakers. Okay I was going to say we won't be offended if you say no but I figured. If you wrote about him, you must like him so. Yeah and You know. Sometimes it's hard to defend. My Love of David Lynch films just because people are so. I. I feel like people. Have this very specific view of what narrative filmmaking should be or what it's supposed to look like and what David Lynch. He is much more interested in creating a particular kind of mood or feeling within the viewer with any is interested in Tangier, straightforward story and I think that's just as. Valid? but it's a lot more. It's less accessible. and so I think people have a hard time with David Lynch because they feel like they have to Parse it or they have to. They have to know exactly what his intent was or what he's trying to do and Try to tell people like not just try to focus on how it's making you feel. Because I feel like winch is one of the best. Filmmakers working right now. When comes to? Evoking a feeling With his audience. I mean the way he utilizes room tone. an end sound design. Is is extremely effective. And I'm just a fan of like the dark side of suburbia. Expose it sort of thing that he has going on in a lot of his work with you know. Blue Velvet twin peaks absolutely. Yeah Blue Velvet is my favorite of all time. David Lynch is my favorite artists. I don't even want to just calm director because he's. He's a true artist. He doesn't anything He's my favorite artists of all time and. Twin peaks is my favorite television show of all time I have a huge Twin Peaks Lake Tattoo. But yeah I honestly. I could talk about David Lynch for hours and hours and hours. The art life was amazing I. Just love really watching him work and I love until. And you don't get a Latte. You get like little glimpses into his mind, but I think if you knew. Everything about him. He would become boring. Fascinating. He wouldn't be as fascinating. I like the mystery. Yeah, that is there and I like that. He keeps the mystery and I also. Like that I know a lot of people like you were saying that they don't really get his worker. Understand is work, and you have to defend why you like it. A lot of people think he's pretentious, which I completely disagree with because I think people who are pretentious will tell you. This is what my work is, and if you can't see that, then you're dom. He will never ever say anything like that. He likes it when the viewer forms their own opinions on it. And he allows that. Yes, which to me makes him not pretentious nineteen. There's that there's that famous meam. Where he said the image of him, being interviewed in the tax says. eraserhead is about the Bible or something like that in the interviewer says. Can you elaborate on that? No I love that yet. It's a razor. Head is my most spiritual film ever Cranston. You'll ever down that no. But yeah I I really woes, the word pretentious. I feel at super overused especially in casual film criticism like at people love. Trivialize in denigrate things that they don't immediately relate to or understand and I just wish people would stop. I do have a question for you. Mindy and I have talked about this before as far as David Lynch's work. His portrayal of women in Movies I. Personally don't have a problem with the way he portrays women I know. A lot of people think that some of his films are sexists in the way he portrays them because they're often the victim They're being abused their murdered I. Mean You know you've seen films? Like what? What are your feelings on that? Well? I guess I'll start by saying that I I do not believe that Depiction Eagles endorsement, and think a very often when we see violence against women in David Lynch Films it is unquestionably presented as something evil. Having said that I do think there are certain criticisms that have some merit. kind of exploring like the fact that you know his work kind of presents that Madonna whore dichotomy where women are either either entirely saintly or like you know evil on they use their sexuality. In unsavory ways. However, you WanNa put it, but generally speaking I i. don't think David Lynch makes sexist films. But I think it's healthy to have discussions about these things because I think it's important to contextualize what we watch and to be able to you know watch things critically and be critical of of things we love. As well as Abbas thanks that we don't. What was your quote? Did you say I don't think depiction equals endorsement because? I want t shirt with that on it. That's a great. No, that's a really great point it's it's all about how how it's all about contact. Yeah, and that actually right at the top and you said like Oh, I love. The dark side of Suburbia, I was like thinking I almost like texted Sharon while you were talking to be like. Hang out with her more. Because that's. What drew me David Lynch as well and I think I can speak for Sharon and when I say that we probably couldn't agree more. We're total dorks. We even went to twin peaks fest in North Bend Washington. I've been wanting to do that for a long time. They cancelled it. It's no more. But, we've met like a few of the actors and we're like. Uber dorks about it, but we don't care. We take that title and hold it proudly. Right. Sharon absolutely yeah. I think that's great, and I mean I'm sorry. No, no, no, I was just going to say, we went to his possible of disruption, together well, and it was just like this beautiful love fast like a two day loss just like art and creation and like I, just think David Lynch's magical. I just love everything. He does I fully agree. Did you watch the return? Twin Peaks Return. I did not every week. I know! The process was to Rewatch the episode from last week before you watched the new episode that was like what we always did. Because there were just so much to process after watching like a week to think about it read all like the chat room conversations you know, go through it. Go through theory. And then re watch it, and then watch the new episode and start started all over again for the next. What eighteen weeks that was pretty much my processes well, I was I was super active on the twin peaks sub Reddit, theories and I Love I love it. You Know I. Haven't had the pleasure of going to any twin peaks, conventions but I. I live right outside of Philadelphia and David Lynch. As you probably well know within Philadelphia for a number of years. And there's a a place in his old neighborhood. Called The Philadelphia Mausoleum of art in every year. They have the big celebration of David Lynch called eraserhead forever because they call that neighborhood, the Eraser Hood. It's pretty awesome, so they do like an art show, and then they have performances trivia. All kinds of fun stuff and last several years. It's gotten bigger and bigger and they started to get. People who are involved with twin peaks or other winch production so like. A few years ago, they had shoe shoe there to perform like their twin peaks album. And then your after that was Christabel Oh man. They had a share one fan, so yeah I've I've been out in. They had the lady in the radiator. One year I got to meet her. That's how awesome she signed. She signed a special lady in the radiator poster designed for the event. So you know I feel pretty lucky. The something like that is so close by I can attend every air. That's amazing. How have we never heard of that, mindy? We're going to have to do like a road trip I think. that. Do you know what what time of year is that? Usually? An October usually the first weekend in October perfect. My favorite month to that's like Halloween month. Very very cool. Oh well, thank you for that tip. We'll we may even see you there. Oh, yeah, probably we honestly have not done an entire twin peaks episode which we've talked about, so we've been talking about coming up with different topics or having a a gas. WHO's a fan of the show? Come up with a topic and then discussing it, so we might have you back on our show. If you're willing to just discuss a twin peaks topic with us I would love that because I feel like. If we go off right now, we can probably spend like two to three hours talking about twin peaks the returned, but we have some more questions. We want to ask you before that. I'm just still names that we got to see Diane. Well and Mike we it was just so funny because there was some sort of whisper. I think around where people were lake. Diane's really going to be Laura dern and I was like Nah. Just because I was like that would be to amazing like there's no way that's going to happen. That's amazing, and then the second. She turned around I think I. Did scream like in my living by myself like in jerk like I. Love it. Thank you David Lynch for that. Shares that we do have a few other questions for you, but let's let's put a pin. Twin peaks. We should we should. If you're willing, we'd love to have you back and talk in depth a little bit more on the topic. Would be great. In terms of our PODCAST, we've been talking about wanting to do an episode that focuses on feminist horror. Films as anyone who listens to us, probably knows by now. One of my very favorites is the original black Christmas from the seventies. Yes, what? Does feminist horror. Mean to you and do you have a favorite feminist horror film? What is it and why? Well until recently, I really loved the of which. Oh. Yeah. I I have complicated feelings about it. because I. Don't know if you're aware of the filmmaker Annabella. Pillar is turf. aspects of the film's politics seemed kind of gender essential. Ask Bud you know. I really loved that movie despite that for a long time. That's been on my list, but I have not watched that one yet. I would still recommend watching it I. It's really incredible achievement I mean. She wrote directed edited. The costuming the music set design. It was really like a one person operation. Wow, and it's a more recent film right, but it's made to look Kinda like it was back in the seventies or correct. Okay, yet it has like the Color Palette is very seven days, and some of like the the camera tricks are very much. Of a piece with. What was Common Seventies John? Films me think what else I love Jennifer's body. I still not see that I. I still haven't seen it I. Sorry Words failed me for a second there i. that's a good one because I been on my list, too, but I just haven't made it. My mom seen it and I. I don't know if it's streaming streaming anywhere right now. Bunker I'll have to look that up then. I'm also this isn't quite hard. This is kind of more like pure exploitation but You know the the the rape. Revenge Genre is very controversial for good reason. because. Many of those films are directed by men and do not have input from women at all but there's one film I. Called Miss Forty Five. Directed by Abel Ferrara. It was written co written by and starring Zoe Lund. Oh! I loved this movie because. kind of diverse from the typical three act structure that you would see in a rape revenge film and really puts the focus on. This the trauma of this woman, and what how she is reeling. In what she is experiencing in the aftermath of a very traumatic. Event beyond that it's just cool to see her dressed as a nun and shooting assholes. It's very cathartic. That's kind of Sharon's jam. Is those kind of move? Yeah, is this on? US It's. Pronounced Miss Forty five. No, is it. Is it on your? The midnight movies. Society is oh no I'm sorry. I don't know if it's streaming anywhere I. Know that Draft House films released a boy array recently. It's worth a blind by cool. Okay, yes, sponsor just looked it up on imdb right now from Nineteen eighty-one. I've never heard of this movie interesting. Yeah, and it's like I'm a big fan of films that are set in like the old decrepit New York City in the seventies and eighties. 'cause they're just perfect. Time capsules of city that no longer exists like that is just so far removed from what New York City is now. So it's kind of it sits at a cross section of a like a bunch of things that interest me, but yeah I mean as far as like what feminist are is to me. I think it. It can be a lot of different things, but it's always important for me that. the female characters have agency and that there are three dimensional. Yeah, agreed. Those are the two most important things to me. I don't other than that I. Don't really think there any any kind of like secret formula or specific set of bullet points. That movie has to hit to be feminist. Just kind of like you know you can feel it Yeah, we slowly, but surely we're starting to see more and more women behind the camera in horror I feel like. We listed a few like just off the top of our heads like I personally. Am A fan of Jennifer can't. Talk about men. Have you seen the nightingale dude talk about rape revenge movies yeah. That movie is incredible and I do not want to rewatch at anytime soon. Exactly we reviewed it. We did like a yearly review of horror movies for. Twenty nineteen and I was charged to watch that movie because I loved. The Baba and I really love Jennifer. Can and Sharon was like well? How was it and I was like? Those good like I didn't know how to react, but yeah, it was like the best movie. I never WANNA see again like it was amazing, and it doesn't I mean the things that movie address says it. I feel like it's really important because. You know it's issues that were still grappling with right now Galley the impact of colonialism. Of Women and Indigenous People Ya Really good job of illustrating how violent that system is. An, not just. Literal violence. There's plenty of that and the film, but kind of like the emotional and psychological violence well and I thought it was Kinda masterful to how like it was. Violent to watch, but at the same time it wasn't gratuitous. Violence lay any of the rape scenes or anything like that like I was. It was so hard to watch, but it wasn't. It could. It could have been so much more graphic and she loved that she finds just the right way kind of like. David Lynch to get the emotions across without having to show you physically exactly, and it doesn't try to like sexualize violence either make hit elating like that's another issue with a lot of rape revenge films there are there are scenes of of of sexual assault at and it should be horrifying, but they're framed in such a way that it's meant to titillate Italy yeah. Yeah, and so that's obviously messed up absolutely. Well, Jennifer She's one that we're seeing. She's a big. I'm a big Fan of hers. And of course we be remiss if we didn't mention Jennifer Lynch. Yes Sharon seen a bunch of her movies, too probably more so than me. But. Who are some of your favorite female directors working in horror, and is there anyone we should be watching? That's coming up or keeping on our radar or anything like that I mean I love Karen. Coup Sama. Jennifer body the invitation. Oh the invitation. The invitation has great. I like Amy Holden Jones. WHO DID THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE? Which is our? That's really unique I mean you don't really see a lot of like female directed or feminist slasher movies. Yeah, so that's kind of that really stands out in the horror cannon for me. Let me think here Have you seen that movie revenge. That's not really higher, but it's more like thriller. but I haven't but I know I've see it's come up in my. You should watch this like streaming. Suggestions stuff yet I know. Flip the script on a lot of tropes. Okay good to know you see her in revenge films Veronica friends WHO's the CO creator of good night. Mommy in the lodge were Oh yeah fans of those movies. Yeah, we watch the lodge. I never know how to say her name. Right but I love. Anna Lily I'm poor I don't say that right, not say that right, but a girl walks alone at night I really liked that one. I was less enthusiastic about the bad launch or the bad batch. Excuse me I. Don't think I saw the bad batch that was on Netflix. Okay, but I'm a lot of my favorite female. Filmmakers are actually do not work within horror or have done limited work within her on like I love Doris. Wish man who was a pioneer of. Exploitation and sexploitation films entry dabbled in horror as well She made a film called a night to dismember. In a super low budget and Schlocky, but I love that sort of thing and It's actually available on Youtube, right now. I don't think it is available legally and. but it is on Youtube I love Roberta Finley. She was another exploitation filmmaker. She made a film. It's kind of horror kind of slasher. Kind of melodrama called a woman's torment, and that was released recently on Blu Ray by vinegar. Syndrome, there's actually there's two cuts. One is kind of like a hardcore cut. N N one is the standard are cut in the cut is actually a lot better at kind of focuses more on the story, but it kind of follows this woman as she. Loses her grip on her sanity, but the way the way that is explored in the movie is like really refreshingly. Progressive and feminists are time period. We're going to have to make a list because this is a lot of good suggestion. Suggestions a lot of things that I know I haven't seen and I don't think Mindy has either, but we'll have. A list and put it in our episode description when this. PODCAST when there's episode is released so that. Can. It's so hard when you're listening to a podcast and you're like doing stuff, and you think you can't like. Just stop and like Oh shack to write all those down, so we'll help you out and we'll make the list for you, everyone. Maybe go. That's awesome very away from horror. Really quick. You mentioned in your email to us that you're a musician What instruments do you play and are you in a band? Do you ever perform I tell people right now that I'm between bans. I don't have any projects currently, but I'm I'm working on getting a few things started, but might idea. My main instrument is guitar. I can play Bass Guitar Drums. Keys, Mandolin while I was in a marching band wind ensemble. Percussion Ensemble and So it was mindy so I played a lot of keyword percussions like Marimba and I was I. I was the lead snare drummer in marching band, and then totally played I loved playing the vibes in high school. That was like why it's so far. Yeah what a percussionist! What kind of music do you now or do? You have a favorite genre that you listen to. My Tastes Pretty ECLECTIC as far as like the type of music. I've played in the past I am. I mean I've been in a jazz funk fusion band I've been in kind of like a psychedelic garage rock type band the stuff I'm working on our hoping to work on. I have a is more synthesis. In May be kind of like harsh noise industrial. That was the stuff that I was really into in high school like metal. Industrial like anything atonal. But now I I like all kinds of stuff. I love hip hop. I, love pop music. I really love Pop Music I. Think you know you can get across some subversive ideas in pop songs that people don't question it, 'cause they're you know it's got a nice sheet or whatever So catchy. Yeah. So I don't i. don't really limit myself as far as the kind of music I. Listen To you awesome, well, we. Have a certain thing that we do with a- with anybody. We interview on the show. We like to do a little set of lightning round. Questions don't think too hard questions just for fun so we're going to start off with an easy one. What's the very first scary movie? Remember seeing hellraiser Nice Nice. What's your all time? Favorite scary movie if you had to pick. The innocence yeah good answer sorry. Freddie Jason or Michael Myers. Freddie. Sorry I'm cheering along year I happened. Thanks to the Internet. I happened to see a picture of you with Adrian Bourbeau. Desperately, trying to control my jealousy jealousy an impulse to ask you about every single detail of that encounter, but instead I'll ask you. Who is the horror movie icon who you are most excited to meet or have met? And why does it need to be someone in front of the camera or can be a filmmaker? Nell anybody Okay David Kronenbourg. Amazing tells about. Well, that's who I wanted me any. Day filmmakers and he does public appearances so rarely. Yeah, that that's somebody I I thought I've been fortunate enough to have met most of. The artists I consider my heroes, but he's someone who has evaded me so. I really really loved him. Meet him sometime. And who is your favorite person that you did me quite Barker Oh! That was very recent, so he he's one of my hair heroes. As I mentioned like how as it was the first. Are Scary movie I remember seeing became like full-blown obsessed with that entire franchise I think at the time like the first four movies were released so like I rented them all from blockbuster or rather. My my mom rented them, yeah, I, from there I, as I got older I kinda got into his prose fiction, which I for me actually eclipses his his films. I think he is. This is maybe a controversial opinion. I think he's much better writer than he is a filmmaker. and. He was like the first gay like out. Gay Person I remember learning about so yeah. He's just been very important to me through like every stage of my life, and like different works of his. Have a have meant different things to me over the years and I got to meet him last year at a monster mania in Cherry Hill. New Jersey was he as Nice as you hoped like because I know sometimes you meet someone that you've always wanted to me. I have a friend who met like one of her idols, and they were a jerk lot. We've not had that experience so far, but was ski awesome. He was so sweet and he was like talking to everybody in. Everybody was like love and deer and. It was great I love it. That's so good. I actually have a collection of his. Son a bites that he put out like the Areas! Alec tortured angels. It could be the tortured angels soul settle. Yes and tortured souls. I was like something by angels wasn't clicking. Yes. It was like the different tortured souls, dowels or dot not dolls. Figuring figuring yes, collect collector's items, but I was big into those and. When I was working at a at? A, restaurant, which is famous for chicken wings and boobs we'll say. I was in the break room and one of my friends came in with a birthday gift for me, and it was one of the tortured souls, and it was the one. That was like hanging by a bunch of different hooks from its face. An had like this. Clear belly with like a almost like a dead fetus or something in it, and there was blood bags, and all this stuff on it, so like all the girls in the room. They're like Oh. My God. What did you get? What did you get and I opened it up, and literally like every one of my coworkers, just like went silent. Took a step back. and. Everyone just looked at me like what the fuck is wrong. and. I was just like Oh. My God this is awesome. I love it. Thanks, so that's great. Yeah, I, Love Clive Barker. I never collected any of that, but finally enough. Those toys were produced by McFarlane toys and I was super into spawn as a kid, so I collected like all the spun toys that they made, but I never got into the Clive Barker. Of Yeah, they're actually really really cool. Like the detail that went into was like I've seen I've seen close up images of them, but I've never actually held them or seeing them in person Yup. Mine are all like still in the boxes like in my storage unit like an hour away from my house. We have we live in such a small place that I have no room for it over here so one day. When we bigger place, they will be on display in my office, but that's awesome that you got to meet. Clive Barker yet. I'm still kind of reeling from that. That's awesome Sharon would you like to take our final? Lightning round question. Yes, this is. Usually we ask this of almost every one of our guests depends depending on who the sometimes you have to feel amount. I'm like this question may not be appropriate. This is also a question. I used to ask when I worked at that. Chicken Boob restaurant because. I just wanted to see the reactions on. Guys faces when I would ask this. WHO's your favorite serial killer? Oh my God okay I'm. This kind of a loaded question, because any answer as almost like you're endorsing, their actions will buy favorite I kind of mean most fascinating who Fassino. Obviously is you're not like? Bundy like way to go that. You killed all these like no, like who who fascinates you the most? I guess I I'm a big true crime fan, so as to I've I've read a lot. but I think the person who pops into my mind immediately as Dennis Neilson. Okay. Why is that I don't know I just a what I so I'm sure you've noticed that There's kind of like this trend in true crime where like marginalized communities are often targeted. Because they are. Due to various reasons they the. Law enforcement agencies aren't going to care about them as much. To put it one way yeah and. I'm also kind of interested in all of the ways that like being closeted affects people like psychologically emotionally and Dennis Nilsen was gay man who targeted other gay men and I. Don't know it's just interesting to unpack that sort of thing and I don't. I don't know if you're familiar with his case, but he would like take them home, and then he would kill them and leave. Their bodies propped up in his house, like to keep him company and then he would like dispose of them. I can't remember would shove them down his bathtub, drain or something something like that and eventually he was caught because they're like this overwhelming sewage. a plumber eventually discovered like human remains. In, the plumbing, the building and there was a horror movie based on him to right, which was called, was it? Debt was a called. No not that one spencer there is a it was like Daniel or something, but it was loosely based on him, but it was like a British movie I just watched it like within the past couple years. I actually am not familiar with that but I. Know that I can't think of. David tennant is going to be playing him in an upcoming. I. Don't know if it's a series for the BBC. Yes, I had heard of that. Yeah! I! Don't think it's out yet, though right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, good answer! I mean not good answer, but you know what I mean. Know. It's not it's not one like that. The usual responses yeah, but interesting. Nonetheless, he's a little more obscure, but yeah, there's there's like reasoning behind you know you've you've thought about this? Don't lie. Oh yeah, totally. Well before we go How can folks subscribe to the Midnight Movie Society I'm so they can go to midnight movies. Society DOT COM, and they can sign up for a free trial or they can go straight to subscription if they want. We also have a number of our films available. To non subscribers to rent or download. Oh, cool so We also have a Roku APP. So if you have a Roku, can search midnight movies society. and you can find a snare. Find us in the apple store. APP store because we have a an IRS APP as well. Okay cool any films coming to the streaming service. Soon that you're especially excited about we have some exclusives lineup, but they have not been officially announce yet, so I cannot talk about them, okay? Yes. There's some cool stuff coming. Okay Fair enough. If any of our listeners have any questions about the service. Where can they find you on the social media's? Will? They can email me directly at Adriana at midnight. Movie Society, Dot Com, and that's a D. R. I A. N. N. A. I'm also on twitter, at EA, D. X. BB which sounds weird. It's a guitar tuning. It's the guitar tuning that Ricky Wilson of the beef fifty two used on fifty two girls. Wow, that is really in depth and thoughtful, and now I'm not GonNa Forget it. That's awesome. where else am I online this kind of Roy it I. Mean I have a personal facebook page, but that's just Kinda like personal charlotte, but yeah you can, you can reach me. By emailing me through my midnight. Movies -ociety account, or you can find me on twitter. In a cool, we share links to those in our episode description. Yes, it's totally fine, awesome and I just looked up the name of that movie. That is I'm out. It's called Tony from two thousand nine. I don't know that one I'm going to have to look it up. It doesn't say it specifically about him, but it might be loosely based on him, but there is another one called cold light of day from nineteen eighty nine that. Is A fictionalized account based on the actions of Dennis Nelson so that one's more specifically about him, but yeah. Tony is definitely. It's about a guy who kills men. He meets gay bars that he brings back back to his flat and basically the same thing his He's blaming like the smell of his apartment unclogged drains and everything and yeah, that that definitely sounds like it was inspired by absolutely Nielsen. Case why I've got some homework to do. Besides this podcast. What other podcasts have any? Do you appear on? And where can we listen to those good question, so I've been on? Two pod or three podcast now so far, one is called the shameless picture Interview Google that. Their social media pages come up. And, then I was at I. Recently I was a guest on the Alison. I'm a podcast and grew. Awesome while I'm. WE'RE GONNA list. Those right in our inner notes are episode notes, but thank you for sharing all of absolutely, and are there any like final thoughts? Final words that you want to say before we before we sign off I guess just thanks again for inviting me on the show to talk with you all and. I really liked it. There's a feminist our podcast like this on. There will thank you. Yeah, it was our absolute pleasure to speak with you and I would yeah I think we would definitely love to have you. On the show again to do a David Lynch, episode or Twin Peaks episode or Love that yeah or just like in general. So, you might be getting another email from us at some point like. Let's talk about this. Awesome, thank you so much for joining us. We really it was a pleasure. Yeah, thank you so much, thank you I had a really nice time. Are It will thank you all for listening to that interview? Like we said we will include all of Adrianus contact info the names of the other podcasts that she was in. If you want to hear more from her along with the movie and book recommendations that we discussed in. In this episode. If you have any questions for her that you would like us to pass along, you can email us at horrors. Talk whore at gmail.com. You can also email us there. If you WANNA, share any ghost stories creepy stories. You can tell us about the time you've met. One of your idols like Clive Barker David Cronenberg. We hope that you are all still staying safe out there and being kind to each other. And as always thanks for getting creamy with us. Sharing you on a beer? Oh my God.

David Lynch Sharon director Midnight Movie Society Adriana Gober writer Joe Bob Briggs MVP Google rape Mindy Jennifer Horror magazine first things first Art House Like Boys Club Tom Gore Jennifer Lynch Sarah Waters
EP 73 - Adrianna Hahn (Former Villanova Basketball Star/Content Creator) + 2M Worldwide COVID-19 Cases, The Desperation of Conspiracy Theories & more

Behind The Baller Podcast with Ben Baller

1:36:08 hr | 1 year ago

EP 73 - Adrianna Hahn (Former Villanova Basketball Star/Content Creator) + 2M Worldwide COVID-19 Cases, The Desperation of Conspiracy Theories & more

"The talk this crazy awesome. Make plans to Boise. Seventy one this credit on this podcast. Yes indeed you are now listening to a brand new episode of behind the Baler. This is not a regular podcast. This is a professional podcast. We put in hard work every episode to give you high five stereo sound original beats and a fucking original theme song. Please put some respect on the dust. Brothers named along with mob. Lloyd lakey inspired AMMO homeys illegal cartel. Y'All was good yard. This episode seventy three which is a special number. Because that's the year of my birth right well other than that. Nothing really right. What up. Y'All wait hold on Afra- got to introduce myself. I am your host Ben. Baller not been humble. I'm also not a doctor or epidemiologist and if you're wondering why I'm saying this is because I was the only person in the podcast world who is trending in the Cova nineteenth space. That wasn't a doctor or epidemiologist and now I don't really talk about it. That much right but you got people all the time. You're fucking Dr not this. I'm bitch well house right anyways. in regards to a cove nineteen krona virus I guess we broke two million cases. Globally the other day More importantly in four months. This has officially killed way. More people than the flu has Dickstein DONALD TRUMP has lost his fucking mind. And I'm thinking pretty soon he might actually say to tweak was five and guess what there's going to be assholes out there who believe him and I'll be like Nah Duke. It's four and then someone's GonNa come out on twitter and say oh. You're not a mathematician. Exactly that fuck shit look. They're aggressively talking about opening up the economy and businesses by May first and check game. Okay so what are you GonNa do about schools then right. 'cause obviously I said this before you know. Parents can't go to work if their kids are at home right. You can't physically social distance kids in the public school system right. You might could in some some private schools but you definitely can't into public school system right and that argument about kid not getting corona virus is invalid anymore. Some have died right everything that you actually knew about crony buyers month ago. You're wrong about now. 'cause it's changed right a majority of these fuck were a big part of these debts was majority but a very large part of these deaths are now you know of African Americans fucking crazy. There's just so many different things. I knew how she was going to turn out and publicly bet on them size. Sit here it is man boom and you all set out stupid. I'm not a doctor. Sorta fucking psychic then. No I understood how to research shit in understand what was real. And what look real in how to assess everything anyways back to the issue kids can be carriers and they could bring that shit home to a person like me who slightly overweight slightly unhealthy and doesn't have the best lungs and tell you the truth. Actually cut down smoking all smoking about a quarter ounce a day and down like Grandma Day anyways you bring it home to someone who's older right who's actually in bad shape and you can kill him so pretty much. You want kids to go back to school and be murderers now Oh Ben Relax no Dick Fox you fucking relax get your shit together man. This Santa Clara police officer she died. We could go Was it week two weeks ago. She died because she couldn't get a fucking test. She begged for one twice a COP. You know what I'm saying like I was. I mean you know it's fucked up right so people can get tested. Even Rish almost get tested them like you gotta you gotTa fucking lie. Then how do you not know to lie at this point fucking luck? Yeah you know what I just. I ran into ten. People came off a plane on fucking. Just make it up. Do what the fuck you got to do to get what you need to get done. I don't understand some people. Look I'm not saying look there's decent people in the world and there are people who lie fuck up but look at if you are sick as fuck you gotta do. What the fuck you gotta do. Now may not be the most honorable thing but fuck man. This lady couldn't get a test because she didn't qualify to the rules of getting a test per the CDC in Califor- in the fucking country right and those rules have actually changed a few times now so she actually qualifies now. Guess what she's fucking dead. Now is too late K. It's fucking ridiculous. She was forty three years. Old Imperfect Health and women don't die usually it's more men than women deaths and She was in perfect health. Not underlying conditions bottom line. Is We gotta wait a while? I I just want to get back to work and I do too I want. Then y'all know how she i. I'm starting to get a little crazy right eric. Garcetti said there will be no sports in La County until two thousand twenty. One dodgers no Lakers no motherfucking rams chargers. No Kings Games. No mother fucking horse race in and I said what I've been saying that we need a vaccine but I'll be honest genome like I don't know about that you know. That's not a realistic answer anymore. Because we could be waiting for a while for that to happen. It could be years so even there are. There are several countries actively working on a vaccine at this very moment. That don't mean one will be legit in approved within even eighteen months. Didn't want eighteen months from now is that's two thousand twenty two so with that. Said we gotta come with a real plan of attack that make sense at the moment. Social distancing a mandatory masks on all faces is going to have to the norm until at least two thousand twenty two now. There's some Dumb Fox. I don't want to say Dumb Fox because I'm actually interviewing some do acknowledge that in a second but there's people trying to say that there have been cities not locked down. I'm not positive but I think they're saying not lockdown. No masks no nothing and they saw the same results that we saw in America. That's bullshit fuck you. There's no fucking way. There's no way that there was a place per our population that had the same amount of fucking infections and everything and they didn't lock down. The country was not as bad as art. And there's no fucking way it's not possible man just because of how transmission does got. I'll get nanosecond but the dude. I'm interviewing Manny's. She knows a lot. He's saying the airborne sheet is wrong. We're going to get into it but against the smartest people in the room. They'll have said there will be more breakouts again. Just like the ones now and these breakouts will come from January next year to April. Pretty much the time that he had here right. But there's probably going to be more breakouts this year. All over the world especially during flu season is she. You know saying it gets cold again. November December. It's going to be fucked up. So what do we do? I don't know you all know I don't know because I don't all the fucking answer straight up right when I do know something I say it but I don't know one thing for sure is that you can't have professional sports on when allow these athletes have the virus and they just haven't publicly said anything so athletes. They have roommates. They got their homeboys from college. Their boys from the Hood. You know they got some family members living here and there whatever and they still fuck around people go out. Look unless they're corentin certain camp and everything. Each team is quarantined with each other. And they're all good. It's just not gonNa work you know 'cause they live with other people and they have relatives France etc so even if you have a sporting event without fans those professional athletes still got chances to keep infecting other players and keep this shit show cycle going so just fucking calm down. It sucks already know man. That's the most positive way I can say it's just fucked up. Nothing we could do about it. I don't have the answers yet. The economy is tanking who we blame. How about nobody? Because it feels trump's fault or China's fault I mean what the fuck you GonNa do. What THE FUCK. What could we do nothing exactly in again? Nobody is talking about Chinese Americans. Okay I see. My CD. Message isn't comes. Nobody is talking about Chinese Americans. All this drama which regardless it's not morally good right but it was directed towards China and the C. C. P. Not Chinese Americans for the thousand time fuck the weighing talking about the motherfucking Chinese that live here and they're getting fucking racially attacked and stuff which is fucking retarded but yeah look. I guess we can call some early right. I mean we're going to have to write summer. Schools canceled so and you know what summer school was only open for half days anyway. It wasn't like they were going from eight to three. Pm whatever the fuck it is eight forty five to like twelve thirty or something you know it's like I don't know if we opened the country back up around late. May We should be okay as long as we follow the rules K. but now come late August and September. All three of my kids will be continued to be home schooled because well first of all. It's a lot of fun paying over ten thousand dollars a month and tuition for my kids. Right it's a lot of fun. Three kids to be stuck at home while again the vice principal while my wife is a principal teacher. She's a teacher and she's apparent and other parent. I don't give fuck how much money I make because right now not making any money but it's not cool like I said it is not fun but like I told. Y'All in episode one. I am hustler right. I will always make it work out. I've actually been busier this last month. And I've been busy like in years k. So how am I gonNA monetize out of it? I don't know yet but it's coming and you know the show is doing well and I'm confident that we know bredow com money will come. I just know for me personally. No matter how fucked up the economy is because I'm GONNA go out there and I'm GONNA eat period. I'm going to because if you gave me a bowl of rice. Come back in an hour. I'll have a fucking restaurant up in that bitch. All right I'm a hustler back to this dude. I'm supposed to interview He's going to be on episode seventy four in the next episode and he consults and works with national security he some high level do not just was caught him on twitter and I saw was verified. Now looking at a time when I was at Yoda's duel was going off. Like just two days of tweets took thirty minutes to reading should write his name is Jordan Shach. Tell S. C. H. A. C. H. L. I don't know man Dude is completely opposite of me when it comes to my views with this entire pandemic so there's going to be fucking interesting. Because he got heat set some other shit right but he's he's a grown man. He seems coherent. He says he's only going on facts. So okay neither one of doctors right. I definitely I'll give fuck if you've been in talk man. If y'all even knew I talked to three or four doctors every single fucking day for the last three months and I'm talking we go through a lengthy conversations. What's APP calls? What's APP chats everything else? Because it's all fucking encrypted what I'm saying what's and we go deep into the shit doctors in China doctors here in La Doctors in New York right. But it's going to be interesting conversation and we just have different views. So let's see what's really really good right What else mad. Shit I see them. Stimulus checks have hit all over the fucking place especially instagram. And I saw kid my explore page post in that he cop some off-white join one. Carolina's from stock index with his twelve hundred check. And now I know I shouldn't judge right from looks of it. He looks like he's going to need that money for other shit in a few weeks. Or less than what? The fuck amounted to save that money for stocks. Gold Not Stock X. Offense Stock X. Josh's My guy love him in the whole fam- there but those people that are fucking off their bread their stimulus checks. They're the first ones to ask for money. And then people get mad at me and say Obama. Why don't you mind Your Business and black okay? I will no doubt but bitch don't ask me for or I don't ask anyone for Shit when you don't got no money. Just Mind Your Business. Don't be no motherfucker. You WanNa know why 'cause stupid dumb mother fucking Shit suckers like them. Dm Me you'll Milam. Wholesome commit let me give me the money this night. This might be the time to save. Maybe right in my crazy now. Had there been no crow virus active and no pandemic in what? Nah Fuck that. You still should probably have kept that for food supplies. Whatever the fuck of my band. But you don't go ahead man cop them. Jordan's the ones that you aren't gonNA keep dead stock so you just devaluing them anyways and you just bottom to front on the ground. Which is the craziest fucking thing in the world? Yeah we don't save. Who Cares but I see a lot of folks who got a lot of opinions about the twelve hundred dollars and the same the same people who got the fucking saying that two hundred dollars. Shit are the same people to say. Oh Data Chicago. Twenty five dollars is too much. Look this is what I say yes. It's not a lot of money. Okay even for the cost of living city. In the United States of America there should be more money distributed right across the country. I'm sorry think the best thing for them to do. They should have calculated where the highest cost of living. Where's where's the highest cost of living in the USA? Okay that's going to be New York and San Francisco and be like all right. What would make sense for those two cities? Okay so they give everyone what you give those people There's still so much misinformation wrong information bannon nation that. I don't even know what to believe when it comes to the news right and Denzel Washington said at first. Because they don't care about you know being right they just want to be. I and everyone just fucking garage. Tate's news especially at the blog sites like no offence a complex highly or fucking even baller alert. Should they all get it from any of the TMZ or someone else or whatever AP brooders? It's all fucking recirculated anyway and it's just you know what man look. I saw this new story and it said that there was an outbreak at a meat factory and these employees are getting sick. And there's they're saying. Hey this is not even a non essential fucking job. We feel like this is a fucking like we're being sacrificed and because it's a meat factor in his huge meat factory. Now there's going to be a shortage of meat like ground beef and things like that. I don't eat red meat right but out of the three dishes that my son's eat right told you. They're very picky because of their diet their allergies and everything else because of what happened and how shitty they feel on a regular basis. There's one major meal that they eat every single fucking day now if I did the math. Three hundred sixty five days a year time seven and a half my son. London has had that meal every single. Fucking you know what he started actually eleven months so almost seven years three hundred sixty five days were talking fucking. What is that almost three thousand days that my son has been eating this same fucking meal. And guess what it's made out the main ingredient ground beef and we use ninety three percent. Lean organic beef and I gotta go to fucking three or four markets. When I go my fucking my work suit jacket. That looks like a fucking God. Damn mechanic was other RBM mechanic but by double up mask and I go get fucking eight or nine fucking pounds of it because you know. My kids eat a lot. And if there's a shortage is gonNA be fucking amazing And was I was just my rent. Sorry guys fuck you look. Amazon is directly connected to a lot of these major corporations right they like damn near drop ship right. Amazon's criticizing you see these shipping. It's like Amazon boom but realistically they're connected directly with these pure L. and all these people right. So how the fuck are there? No baby wipe still has no sanitizer. There's no fucking paper towels like still. It's been five weeks. I don't get it like Amazon. Get Your Shit together. The Shit don't make no mother fucking sense on some more conspiracy bullshit in the fastest these five. She guys May as fucking unbelievable. I saw this about cove in nineteen being a man made virus made in a laboratory in Wuhan and the Youtube video is long as fuck. I start watching it. I went through most of it. I Skim through a little bit here and there but I saw from beginning to end and I watched it right and solve. It was believable right. Not that it fucking matters and you know again with fucking do. Right is believable like ten percent. I feel like you know what I think is. People are just so desperate to find a conspiracy to believe in. I who cares why. Why not just believe that? It's a fucking virus and it kills. How important is it for you? Regular civilians to know the origin of the virus. I'm just curious I don't give a fuck I just WanNa know how the fuck do I stay away from it and how Twi prevent myself from getting it. There's another video called Pedo Gate. That's supposedly the cover up all this shit and it's like someone I know actually tweeted the link to this pedo gate right and was long videos well and they immediately got their twitter account. Man Right and it's just like Oh cease conspiracy and you know we're getting fucking controlled by people. Look Man Jesus I just. I need a punching bag my house. Then there's another video. My wife sent me this one. She's like everyone's talking about this video. You should talk about on your podcast right. There's a video called out of the shadows right in these. All on Youtube to all of these are over an hour. This is fucking videos in our in twenty minutes long and like look. I've watched going clear. Which is the scientology thing? That's a whole different level okay. There's some real shit going on in that K. But this video called out of the shadows and it's about inner circle of power in Hollywood and how it's directly connected to the government and how strict ECLECTIC to the richest people in the world and how you know Disney owns fuck and marvel and owns this this and this and how it's the fucking documentary is narrated by of all people a fucking stuntman Hollywood. Who thinks he's exposing some false truth about the media in Hollywood and the film industry and how the CIA is all tied into it and it controls what we see on TV and on the big screens and that shit was so fucking underwhelming. I couldn't tell you. This shit was so vague. It was straight bogus. This shit was so duck tales. I came I. I actually couldn't sleep last night out of anger. I mean all these videos are so long and when people linked them and they post them and shit like Oh my God over three million views in two days and it's true like these videos are a few days old and they have two million three million four million views who gives a fuck and then you know other people are like oh. She has view what he must be. True looked on Fox. Were all locked down inside we're quarantine. We got nothing else to do. I even my dumb ass watched it. K- I suggest you don't waste your time Dash. It was worse than the Geraldo Rivera. Fucking capone safe breaking into the safe after thirty years where the fuck it is. Okay don't waste your time. I'm so tired of these fucking conspiracy. Chasers Jesus Christ but listen okay. There's been a lot of rain right. And then when there's rain there's a rainbow so check it out. There's a pot of gold coming out of this rainbow and At all the bullshit I just mentioned above as you know semi long intro to the show but we got a women's basketball player by the name of Adriana Han. She is a product of great parenting great upbringing. And I wish I actually hope that my daughter Kaya King grew up. Mb this decent of a fucking lady. I I got coming on the show to talk about her career. Basketball career deal with injuries. How she's getting now. She's getting paper in the pandemic. She had a special meeting with Kobe. Bryant and a whole lot more I so look behind. The baller is an equal opportunity. Show we love giving light to women. I specially those Wayne being thoughts and fucking dancing around half naked. Look fucking stupid so yell without further ADO miles. Please hit me with that L. L. and we'll be right back so last few episodes. I've told you guys buy new sponsor Acre gold our officials subscription platform for gold. Now there's a lot of uncertainty with markets in having gold is important to have just in case. Shit really hits the fan acre gold. Let you make small monthly payments and then sends cold straight to your doorstep every few months. I encourage all you to sign up so that you're putting money into different formats that will increase during shady times like these. It's valuable to not just rely on any bank account or paper money. This is something I wish. I did in the last recession here. The benefits of Acre Gold. It's affordable you don't have to patio pocket all at once it's convenient physical gold bars mail to your doorstep. Acre branded gold is the highest quality designed in California in minted in Switzerland. Subscribe for thirty or fifty dollars a month. Once your gold stash reaches the price of a two point. Five Gram Acre Gold Bar. They will discreetly ship your gold urine control. You can easily cancel or modify your plan to suit your needs at any time. Find out more by going to G. E. T. A. C. R. E. GOLD DOT COM. Backslash baller get acre gold dot com back slash. Bollard up. You're listening to behind the baller. We have a very special guest a lady. Finally we don't have a ladies on the but we got Adriana Han all time big east and Villanova Women's three point leader influence of ballers and grinders around the world. Her training and skills unparalleled. She's got now folks. Jonah was good Ben Baller. Thanks Nice introduction. You got all right. Yeah Yeah you know. I got some good producers So question first off top. How old are you twenty? Two twenty. Two hundred birthday may twenty fifth. So I'll be twenty. Three In may twenty. Oh Shit you're coming up. Okay Yeah. Mj Year Jordan. You're hold on hold on. I think we talked about this yet. 'cause my son's yeah and he's a maniac where'd you where'd you grow up? Well maintained Delaware booming Tin Delaware at that. Leads me to ask you. What was the basketball community? Like in Delaware. It was actually pretty good. We had a couple of WPA players from Delaware as a current one right now don choose actually mvp the WNBA last year. Old younger than you. She's eight years older than me but she actually went to the same high school so should along with other few few ladies but you know the men were good as well. Boys Boys League was good But more Pennsylvania and New York really balls where it's at so I played a you in Philly. I played with the Philadelphia bills. Oh Nice I didn't know what age did you start playing basketball purtill. I could remember Sarah say my dad was my coach. I picked up a ball ever since I was a little kid. You know three four five seriously. Yeah you know how you have this little baby baskets and all that stuff and then you know my dad's always making me shoot outside Gerbil. He may be playing all boys league. When I was in fourth grade I mean he really started me at a young age ocean. That's dope. When did you fall in love with the game like yourself? Probably when I was about fourth grade That's actually when I played in the boys league. His in the inner city of Wilmington I was the only girl and I was the only white person and you know the you know. At the time I was scared as a little girl. I didn't know what to expect. And you know walking in the jam at everybody's eyes are like what is she doing here. Borough playing everybody's like take the girl out but they. WanNa start a bowling. They were like Oh passenger. The girl gives the girl all like it was great. You know they welcomed me right away and I was right on the team so you know that's and then I obviously was good and shown ability as just being a girl in a boys' League and I was like this is for me. You know I could get really good at this. I can do something with this so give me like your favorite basketball memory from that time when you're a kid so I one actually the league for my fourth grade boys. We won the tournament and we actually played a really good team. But you know I was. I was always good not not that. That sounds hockey or anything but let it be. Let it be what it is. That is what it is like. I always wanted to be the best my team from Wilmington Delaware when I was in a you probably fifth and sixth grade. We won nationals Nationals you know it just all started from there. Did you play back then? I was always point guard but the cool thing about knee was I was really good at shooting so when you have a point guard. That's really good at shooting. You know you're kind of like a Combo Guard. You're not just point guard and you're not just shooting guard so I was like a one in a two but only five six so I was always kind of the shortest one on the court down. You know it's crazy. 'cause you're four time player of the year in high school like that's crazy. That's that's like really special so you you've had always been nice. When did you think that you had a chance to plan? D One ball. I know when I was a little kid. Probably six seventh grade Actually played eighth grade. When I was in eighth grade I played high on the high school team. So when you have a middle school and high school in Delaware you're allowed to play on the Varsity high school team if you're in eighth grade and You know it was just a dream that I had. I was very good like I said and I knew that I could get a scholarship to college. You know you don't really know what level you're going to get at if it's a really big school or small e one school you know you figure that out as you go through high school but eventually when I hit freshman and sophomore year was getting really big schools and and offers and you know. I definitely knew. At that point that I would get a scholarship. Go play basketball at a university right. Wouldn't you find out that you're GONNA pay for Villanova so this is a funny story? Villanova actually offered me when I was about a freshman in high school. And they're they're thirty minutes away from my house very close to my home you know. And they're in the Big East conference and I always wanted to play in the AC conference. 'cause you know it's one of the best. Wnba players go out of their. You know what it is and I was a junior in high school. Things got very chaotic. Almost every school wanted to come to my high school. New Teachers Meet my family. Have Dinner at my house. Wanted to see me workout and you know it got very chaotic. And I talked to my mentors like Elena Delle Don who's now. Wnba went to my high school and she said that you can be good wherever you go. You can make your own experience. And I realized that Stan Coast home was kind of the better option for me. You know it just makes things very convenient and my family can come see me play. Everybody can come see me play and I decided to actually call Villanova back because they offered me when I was a freshman so like two years went by that I actually didn't communicate with them and you know I called the backup said. Hey do you still have that scholarship right? When I got in a senior point guard was graduating so it worked out so let me ask me because I don't know anybody personally but I mean not a Villanova anywhere period as far as a personal level. How does it feel being the all time? Three point shooting leader in women's Villanova history. It's sick man it really is. I won't lie to When I actually got to college I didn't even know they records like that. It was weird seriously. You know I didn't know. They counted that stuff and when I was going into my senior year you know. One of the directors told me. Hey you know you're about to beat this record. I was like really you know. How many more threes do I have to get? You know the countdown and that was goal that I had and I beat the Villanova at first and then you know they were like you know you could potentially be the Big East conference all time three point record and I actually thought I would never get it. You know it was actually. I actually had to get a lot of threes and in the last four games of the regular season I had to get like four threes. Each game up at like sixteen threes and. I did it. It was amazing I'm beat WNBA players like WNBA. Players are on that list and you know I beat them. That's something came ahead. Hi and it's obviously like right now. Twenty twenty I know no schools going on right now but that's correct correct. Yeah that's nice. You Watch men's basketball. We've talked about this before. But how was it being aired during the men's championship runs? Now that I think about it. I'm like I have the best college experience ever. I'm so jealous. I mean. Imagine going into college freshman year right ear on this. I mean it's your first year playing basketball because I got to play basketball and my team was good. We were winning. I was playing and on the other side. The men's side they're obviously undefeated ranked number ranked number one. You know I mean. They kind of didn't do well in the beginning of the season but once smart hit march madness tournament was fire in school. I mean it's Kinda funny because my season ended you know we obviously didn't go that far and we're obviously partying out all day. You know it's the whole school is involved. I mean it's ridiculous. Do what I. I'm so just about me. Cutting you off because it makes me angry mad at you will so like look. Man March madness existed. When I was young fucking bobby. Hurley was remember who that was but Christian Leitner Jason Kidd on my team people like that like watching March madness and watching it. It was different because we had small stadium. You know but seeing like you know the big dance like I remember going in the sweet sixteen in watching I was a big fan of Larry. Johnson. Unlv's Tarquini in that era There was a guy who's one of my favorite players ever growing up in high school. His name was hank gathers he died on the actual basketball court. Loyola Marymount. It was a really big story and I'm going to Oakland 'cause I want to see this be sixteen anyways going on. You got to go the Games. How does that work being a a women's Villanova player do you get a guaranteed seat at the men's games? Or how does that work? Yeah Yup we get general admission tickets on the list and there's usually a section for us. Y'All still closer than any of the people from From Berlin Oba. Yeah I mean we keep in touch. They're all professional athletes so the constantly traveling and doing anything. I'm in Delaware. A lot of people come to Delaware. So you know I'm stuck here but now we keep in touch definitely and you know we're always keeping up with Villanova to and they keep up with us. We're still involved in the community in basketball. I gotta ask you know diehard Laker Fan and You know tell me about you and Cobi please man. You know it's so sad. Just what happened first of all but you know ever since. I was a little kid a little girl I mean. Kobe was the first person that I think I saw on the TV playing basketball first. Nba Guy watched and ever since. Then you know. My bedroom is yellow and purple. Walls Lakers Kobe. Bryant fat head. I'll remember and wore Kobe's as a basketball player. Jerseys all this memorabilia and you know his. Mama mentality was just something. That was instilled in me since day one. I wanted to play exactly like him and you know a lot of people. Tell me that girls look up to other girl basketball players in for me. It was different. You know I looked up to the best basketball player at the time and you know when I was a junior in college in a look back at this moment just because of what happened and I get invited to the women's final four in Columbus Ohio as a media pass in. I'm sitting down in the front row and stuff security guards come over and they say you gotta move. Somebody's coming through. You know you can't sit here and I'm like with my basketball attitude you know. That's like man. Come on whatever so I get up. My friends will leave in an hour goes by and nobody comes insist in those seats. And I'm like man this guy better be big like who's coming here and I know the Notre Dame athletic director at the time and she brings us down into the tunnel and she goes. It's Kobe Bryant. And she didn't know anything about my childhood or my obsession with him in a way in. I'm now in a group with five or six girls and were walking through all of a sudden coby Bryan and his wife and family comes out of the room and the first thing that he says is Villanova Right. Any points to me. And I'm like yeah and everybody's like Oh my God. What is going on like crazy? I was shaking up this moment and he goes. How are your knees and I was like? Oh Man I was like yeah. You know injuries like I don't even know what I said. At this point I was so gone and it was crazy. Just staring at him like either I or were you like it was face to face you know. A couple of people were behind me. His children and family. We're right next to him and we took a picture of course obviously after but it was ridiculous. People were shocked. I was shocked. I was like not only. Did He. Recognize ME ONLY. But he knows my story. You know things me you know. It was just crazy. I didn't even get the chance to really tell him. Like I was a huge fan. You know even my childhood experiences. He doesn't even know that part. But you're right. I mean he inspired you to play basketball better and literally work hard every day. You know. Never give up. Don't care about people putting you down. Negative Energy Never. Be Lazy. Be The best you know. Killer mentality the director Notre Dame when she told you hey so just so you know it. Is Kobe Bryant at that moment there? When you heard that he's GonNa walk past you guys. Did you get butterflies in your stomach or did you get weird you? Oh of course but you know my life is like a movie man like I was shocked that she said it was Kobe Bryant but at the same time I was like this is supposed to happen. I you know what I mean like. I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity right now and I'm GonNa make of it exactly what I wanted to be in. That meant meeting him. You know and not only was. I excited to meet him but he knew who I was. Also you know what I can tell by your attitude and stuff like I can tell that you would hold it in until everyone's fucking combat holy Shit Kobe but I can tell you're kind of cool like you don't want to be like a fucking complete like I got and like you're trying to be as him so it's different with me. Known him since he was seventeen. Eighteen years old. So it's and it's still kind of blew me away. Now what's funny is Got So fucking awesome right and I didn't think about this until right now. 'cause you said he's a basketball player right now fuck all that. Shit okay. I need to ask you. Who's a better player? Kobe Lebron who was the better player. I'm sorry for a you know. It's like the question every basketball player gets you you know. I am Kobe Bryant Fan so I have to say that Kobe Bryant has better skills than Lebron James now from a physical standpoint. I think Lebron James would be able to go by Kobe. Post them up. You know be really more physical than him. So people want to compare statistics numbers and stuff. Of course left. Lebron James is GonNa get more points that I just think. I'm sorry when it comes to. Okay let's let's break this down one point two seconds left on the clock teams down to. Are you giving the ball to Kobe again until Bron I'm giving the Koby? I'm just telling hundred percent and honestly like you know. I know these kinds of things don't matter in the NBA because it's all about contracts and family situations and things like that but you know if there's a legend that's happened. Built a legacy at the Lakers in Los Angeles Lebron James. I'm not I'm not going over there. And she's intruding. You know that's just my opinion on it. You know I played at College. I know how it is. We don't get along with people who played another basketball schools. In that way. You know you always think your team is better where you are better. Okay so we gotta get into the real shit right can a woman ever play in the NBA man? Look I think it should be an option? Right right should look. I think if a girl can hang right I totally agree Who you know who's going to be at fault if she can't do it you know then that's on her. Yeah she'll get fucking took it killed. Whatever shall not kill you. I'm saying so. There's an right who right now in the WNBA. Do you think that lease coming off the bench on a team like real talk? Is there anybody you could think of top of your head? Oh Yeah I think I think I think Diane Toronto See I think Elena Delle Don secondly hold on hold on Dell Donner even know. I don't even know who she is. I'm so sorry but Terachi. Thank you really think. Terachi come off like the Sacramento. Let fuck that. Who's fucking worse than them? So I think that within an offense okay and the system that she would not have the ball taken from her. You know now from a physical standpoint. It's I can't compare biology. Men are definitely stronger faster than women right but if it doesn't matter you have to own risk. But she gets shoot at three and make a play in Atlantic you know. Get a couple of rebounds and assists that it can work six five Greiner. Let me ask you real quick like right now currently today right. Do you think you could beat me in a one on one to eleven? How even I'm six feet. I'm short. I'm six no. Six feet is actually a good height. There's point guards in the NBA. That are six foot know for sure. I'm fucking Isaiah Thomas. Whatever I'm just call him out right now but you know. I don't want to say it but I have to. Yeah definitely I got badness to be made a free throw contest. Honestly you don't want to shoot against me. That's that's the worst thing you could. You could say we're GONNA have to do it. We're GONNA have to do that. One day that's fine next time I come to La. I already said. I would teach kids some basketball drills and get them through some training not really actually. GonNa like I've been thinking about it and I can't wait Sir. Hopefully my court is done by then I'm just GONNA put up obviously just a regular back. Backboard and basket but All right so you're a sniper okay. Who could be a pro? You know from watching your play I think only watch maybe like three or four games about seventeen minutes of stuff just so you know. I want you to feel special. I have never watched any woman play basketball in my entire life on Youtube. Never in history I so I spent seventeen minutes right you. You had three knee surgeries okay. Yep and now you're training right. How the fuck you train with Code Nineteen right now. I'm just curious I'm not at all. I can't even get into a gym dance impossible. You know it's crazy. I had Austin rivers on instagram. Live and he said the same thing then. I talked to Q. Cook and Cook was like I can't get into a gym. I'm like I don't get it now again. Someone Shack or some other people they have you know will John Wall and like I forget what that one place? 'cause called the city routes inside that building some people live in there so they can go to the gym. Whatever but like ninety five percents. Nba Can't get to a gym. I just thought maybe you had access to something. So Damn. That's everyone has this issue. Yeah it's it is sad it's it's terrible and you know you don't need a nice basketball court to train all the time so you know we take advantage now just going outside. You know old school hoops just getting better doing some drills a home get doing more conditioning stuff going to track. It's hard though because it was mid season on the NBA players. You know they're trying to figure out exactly how they're going to bring all the players back and start the League can happen. I've already had a conversation with so many people like it's not it's not number one okay. it will be like score scores in the first month. It'd be like eighty five to seventy two. It'd be like sixty five eight. Say It'd be really these guys can't can't can't trae for basketball like that. You know it's like you can run and be in better shape than you could be on a bike you could do. One hundred push ups could be in a gym in your house. Whatever it's so different. We not shooting the ball. How the hell? Yeah it's definitely different than playing a game. You have to play games. That's for sure for sure I notice you really like C. D. oil right One hundred percent. What benefits have you seen using it so it has been the best treatment recovery that I've used when I was in college? I swear I wouldn't even be no. Yeah well you know. We don't get drug tested for it. It doesn't qualify as drug attempts attempting. Yeah uh-huh ends. After Games and practices. My knees would swell up like you couldn't even see my kneecap. My bones would crack at night. I couldn't walk the next morning. Yeah it was a struggle especially in the winter when it rains. I'm sure a lot of people can relate on this. It is awful and you know. Then I realize I'm twenty one twenty years old experiencing this like this is not normal. You know. I know what I've been through. I accept that but I have to think about the rest of my life. And so yes. Cbd I put that on after my practices after games. Even when I went to bed at night and it would literally calm my knees down like I would have chronic knee. Pain almost felt like a heartbeat in my knees. And when I put the CD oil it would be CD. You know like lotion literally cocoa butter. So did you ever tell a doctor that you were using video on your leg and your trainer anybody did you ever tell them now and what they say they you know whatever works but they always said you know they would always try and tie in? Are you okay though you know? Is Everything okay? I'm like what do you think I have? Does this relate to something mental health issues or something you know no. I'm fine as it's all good. God you're fucking Hilarious so back to college a quick. I'll just curious because this is a business show right. What your major at Villanova. 'cause I couldn't look up and see what was your major at Villanova. And how are you using it? Today I was a communications major. So the cool thing is. I got to graduate in three years and I got to experience a whole year of Grad School in Digital Communications and Media Studies And right now You know yes. That's right right right now. I'm creating media content using my instagram platform other platforms like link. Din Tick Tock. Even you know creating different means a content and Also training on hoops basketball training doing a marketing and controlling my own business. That way. So you know capitalizing on my name just trying to change issues in the sports world in in open the game for the female athletes and stuff. Right you join instagram. In two thousand fifteen right looks like how did it help? Change Your Life Business personal anything. Yeah it really did. And you know I don't WanNa even refer to myself as a social media influence her. Behave that way because you know. I'm not just that and a lot of people who don't have a big platform saying that you know I'm this big celebrity. And you know I'm not but what instagram gave me was the opportunity to really meet business professionals and an actual influencers in founders of organizations and real professional workers that work in the sports world or the entertainment industry and media companies. And things like that. That can get me to where I wanna be and so you know it was instagram. That was a platform. Helped me reach you? Know the real world and You know I still use it to this day. Obviously I got the Blue Shack and one hundred K. And it's nice but I try not to focus too much on the numbers and in it doesn't statistics will get you. There are so many different things you could have somebody. With eight hundred thousand followers gets way more likes to somewhat three million five. It's all relative just is what it is to have. The blue check helps because people see more official. Something should just happen whatever. But what is it about your platform agent? How what is it about your page that you think followers drawn to? Is it basketball personal? Because you're cute like what are you? What is it? No I definitely admit I I do think it is because I am attractive and have a nice personality and things like that you know. Look you know I'm taking. It was because my pictures. I mean I literally was just posting pictures in my basketball uniform And they looked good and I was also success. Oh basketball player. But I don't really think people knew that for my instagram. You know I wasn't really posting my highlights or game clips or anything like that. I would post you know the awards and accomplishments but that was about it and you know I think a lot of girls and young females women follow me but ninety percent of my followers are men like that is right in my analytics of Christ as when you asked me. Who's following me you know? It's it's a Lotta guys when I go instagram live. You know I've never had a girl when I went with a fan. Never been a friend a girl but you know what can I say this and I barely know you. We've only spent What maybe like two hours right talking three hours. Max If I was your dad and I could obviously easily be like molding us your dad. I'd be very proud of you know like I would be. I would be like all right. Look if you don't do shit you know go ahead and how some kids whatever. I'm just saying like I would be that tough. I'm Kinda like you know. My Dad was really tough. I'm not like that I just. I'm very proud of what you've done or you don't have any pictures you know what? I'm saying you don't you're not. You kept it. Classy you know you could put posted fucking who knows. I don't know what where you travel but you could have posted a bikini pick on some fashion Nova Bullshit or whatever. It may have been and you didn't do that. You know I mean I have to thank Villanova when you when you say that because when everything was blowing up you know I was about nineteen years old and you know I literally would refresh my page one hundred people constantly. I was like when is this going to stop at actually got very overwhelming at one point and Villanova you know I got caught into the office very fast. Very fast and You know math and personal but the vice president. The athletic director. My head coach the men's head coach. And you know they actually deleted about a hundred pictures and and really controlled my instagram in terms of what I posted. And how was GONNA present lose Yeah it was like you are Villanova basketball and that is it right now. No legitimate too. Yeah you know I have to respect it. I definitely do I like. I understand now what they were saying at the time you know. I was Kinda mad I was like well. There's a lot of lakes you know right but then I realized how wrong that was. It is wrong but you know a male look man. There's so much shit that behind the like. I don't WanNA get into it. I don't need to start blowing like but but back to instagram. I have a question man while you were there playing ball in college. Did you have any? Do you have any pros or any like famous college players in your DM's I mean. Yeah you know I mean that's that's it's not only me though. That's that's how it goes. What do you mean it's only you know I'm not the only one I don't care if asked about you just saying it's funny because I always feel like you know what these things are. Just too fucking cool they empty. Nobody and I just realized in the last year. How many fucking girls like Yeoman. Dm You this rapper. This person like Oh shit really. Wow he goes right. I mean I was a rounded at such a young age like I even knew some of these professional. Mba guys. When they were in high school and college so you know. I kind of grew up with some of them so it wasn't like you know what one of them are. My friends in to you know I knew some of the people that they dated or whatever so that wasn't happening and shape the basketball world is definitely a thing like you know something happens or you do something. Like subway knows about it instantly. Assist the basketball world. Kinda circulates so check it out. You announce that you're joining gave us network right. Can you talk about talk about how that came about? And what you're gonNA be doing there. That was amazing. It's actually a crazy story so I wanted to speak to Gary v's so one day you know I was like I have a Blu tack. Let me just use it and idea and Gary V on Instagram? You know a couple of days went by obviously. Didn't get an answer. In one morning I get an email in my email from his assistant. Justin Avello from vein or media and he asked me to join the VIP network for like influencers in young entrepreneurs like myself. And you know Gary just does this. Influence young people and one weekend about two months ago actually went up to New York and went to vein or median. Gary's offices in his. You know podcast room and everything. I saw everything that he does. And it's huge. It's crazy. How one guy has this entire business in media company and how he can influence so many people were based end in New York author And you know once corona hitting everybody got stuck and we had to start creating content virtually Gary V in his team reached out to me and I was able to join teatime with Gary and he does this every morning from nine to eleven on his instagram live. And it's really cool. I asked him a question about social media. Wanted to see what he had to say about growing your platform on different social media channels and stuff and you know. He told me to post three times a day with you. Know I thought it's Kinda crazy but you don't ambiance that you and ask you about certain things and I said you know what I don't want to. I have so many questions to ask you. But with Gary v. We're in his similar space except that Ama- jeweler and he's not in. I know he has his wine stuff. And we've chatted before on social. We've talked random things. We had mutual friends on the big pot network which is an APP that sells like hype Type Shit and everything else and he had released there. I had one of the first ones and whatever but going on a lot of people that I know it. Instagram AND FACEBOOK. The corporate near the company itself have all told me this. Listen if you want to beat this algorithm because their algorithms are horrible right now if you posted a pick and it wasn't anything special you had no caption on tell you right now. You'd be lucky if you got four hundred on it just because where the algorithm is right now in the last month during carone just got even worse soap the way to beat it. It's funny Gary Really knows you have to post many times data to for people to see your shit and it cheats the system and it beats and if you use your instagram live. If you use your stories views if us all the products that instagram offers and you're consistent then you'll crush it unless you're like a sop rocky or someone like Travis Carson Wentz huge. That doesn't matter what the fuck you do. Everyone has been posted vacations on turned on when you go on boom. But it's funny that Gary said that he's he seems like a really smart guy. He has a top twenty podcast. He's I'm not top ten and I see myself battling with him in a for positions but even doing this for a really long time as far as podcasts and things like that. I don't look at myself like motivational speaker right. But what what keeps you motivated? Wow deep question I mean definitely keeps you. Motivated is probably just the fact that I want to be the best in whatever I'm doing and you know if I don't feel that I'm being the best at what I'm doing that I am going to be motivated to get there. That's just athletic mentality. trying to figure that out into the real world now that I'm not a basketball player And you know I definitely want to be successful. I want to be able to stand on my own. Nba Strong female in business in my hands on a lot of things and you know. I'm I'm motivated to almost do it all so John I wanna see. I'm serious nice and you know I realized it was hard to realize how to continue basketball. And keep it in my life. Even though I wasn't physically playing on the court I wasn't on a team I didn't have Jersey and now I realize that you know I could still teach basketball. Basketball is always going to be a part of my life. It's part of who I am and I can teach young kids how to play can teach young kids to be prepared for the college process or you know be more inspired and motivated to get into the gym to work hard to eat better so you know. Take sleep in school seriously. You know get a scholarship to college right. So you're almost twenty three. Where do you see yourself in five years honestly I definitely see myself in? La like physically. You were to ask me this You know La has always kind of been the dream for me. I did a couple of summers of internship work in media production in LA and You know I definitely want to go back there But you know I want to be really involved as a female basketball sports advocate. I WanNa have my platform outside the huddle right now. You know I'm just creating content with interviews and media questions and stuff like that but I almost make it into a lifestyle brand you know. Sports and lifestyle and culture all integrated athletes are able to talk about non sports issues and and non athletes are able to talk about sports. And you know it affects everybody especially in a time like right now where we see. You know we're all humans. We're not perfect. The world's not perfect and you know we can live in the unknown. So you know we have to stick together and you know race religion gender and sex. None of this ship matters. You know it's crazy ends. You know People realize that at the end of the day as you get older even you. You're going to start realizing how less and less shit matters and like where they be a kid to certain things you understand where the real shit I mean. I'm just I mean even me. It took me a very long time but that was because I was like. Hey listen fuck everyone. I don't care how much this sucks. Homers this sucks without selling my soul to the devil. I need to make some money and make a lot because I want to be able to have a cushion and my whole thing was having the cushion having the cushion the cushion When it comes to outside the huddle what do you envision? If we're locked down for the next six months how are you gonNA make the ship hop off man? I didn't even think about it like that. But you know you got to Adrian for real for real you know outside the huddle. It's hard because I'm thinking focusing too much on how to make it perfect for whatever platform on putting it on right. If I WANNA make a youtube video I think focusing on hugh much on the analytics in exactly how to make youtube video etc. But you know I want to use my platform that I've built and meet people like yourself and bring them on and ask them questions and to see their perspective and opinion in very critical issues social justice issues get there get their opinion and platform out there and build it and you know my in my vision for this show was to actually obviously be person with my guests. I wanted to have multiple guests at the same time right if I'm talking about gender inequality in the WNBA VERSA MBA. I WANNA have a wnba player in an NBA player in my video. An interview with me so you know. Now I'm going to decide in change some things with the content that not producing do that have multiple guests at one time You know like I said I wanted to end this into a lifestyle brand. I want these influencers and people like yourself. You know whether you are a professional athlete or you know you're or integrate society and builds community knowledge and I need to figure out a low and all that stuff but what's more important is the content that I'm gonNA produce like you said. How many get people active? Yeah so I just completely thought of this question right now. Even though there's other questions I have asked you. We'RE WRAPPING UP PRETTY SOON. But why me like where? Where did you even hear about me for like what compelled you to message me to interview me? I'm just I'm just actually now so curious because you just from what you talk about. It seems it's of course it's heavily basketball oriented an old gave. He doesn't play ball. What everybody's an entrepreneur and get it? What made you want to message me? It was funny because I spent a Lotta time in La. And I worked for Baron Davis and you know I obviously saw that you know you followed him. And he followed you He's a good friend of you know I'm involved right and obviously listen to hip hop and rap music. That was just the music that I listen to as a basketball player. You know before games and stuff like that. Kinda just everywhere I was and I knew you know you're just in La Guy. And I wanted to not include just athletes and so you know. I wanted to find people who obviously weren't professional athletes but were involved in the sports world in somehow or or a part of it You know I knew that you had made your if your athletes for involved with the podcast a little bit eventually and you know even like cbd in all of that stuff like it just seems like a good fit and you know. I reached out and you made that connection and not a lot of people reach back out to me so you know. I found it very interesting that you did and I respected that completely. How long did it take me to get back to you so not to? I don't know man maybe like a couple of days but then you know it was like a couple of days answer a couple of days answer so the fact that you're persistent about some professional and you did it in a way that caught got my attention. I thought that was cool. I saw barons name and I was like all right. Cool this and I'm glad I'm sorry that it took I mean Shit. There's people now there's like three point six million dollars like mentioned me a story. I have no idea what I don't WanNA open the story because I wanted to be like. Oh they saw the you know that I mentioned him. Or whatever and wherever the fuck it may be but Going back and I asked you a question and you kind of talked about it but you didn't and I'm sorry I just I said where do you see yourself in five years right okay so let me reword that a little better and? I'm sorry I have to come back. I WANNA know. What do you want accomplish before? Thirty Abuser dollar amount. That you WANNA do. Is there something you want to buy a house before the Qisas? Tell me something more like that. You know like where would ideally in a perfect world by thirty would you have liked to have done in your life You know I don't WanNa put money amount on it but I definitely would say I want to be a millionaire by the time I'm thirty. I think it's definitely capable now in today's society but I want to create more leagues for women's basketball players. I and what kind of change you know. I've said this before there's not even a G. League for the woman so you know you don't go from college to professional athletes over for you now. You didn't tell me this. I don't know who you were talking to you and tell me that that's you know that's cool rays. I never why would I think about it? Write something about men's I can't believe that there's no G. League for women. I didn't know that and you know a lot of WNBA players have to go play overseas because they pay more. So why would you have to leave your own country to go play over in another one to make more money you know? It just doesn't sound right especially when the NBA in the best basketball in the world is in the United States dude. Why don't you really advocate? But you need to lobby for this gets issue going now. Like that's crazy and whoa okay. So that that's cool by the way going back to the millionaire thing. Listen I'm sure I'm going to know you in six years seven years. Whatever if you're not a millionaire seven years I might just hack your page and just talk shit about you please. She's fucking Shit. She's fucking to Delaware downplaying. What you everybody talks set on Delaware? I'm playing so look Where do you think the future of social media is heading a man I the good in the bat hit me with it? Don't say what see what you've got to say. What is it? What are you GONNA say? Tick Tock because definitely going to say I hate to talk. But that's where it is people like that dancing to step shit if you have you remember Mount Involved Worldstar you know my best friend in the world is he was a CEO founder. Owner will star rest in Peace Q. He is my first point son's Godfather. And all of you who run the company now. They're at the forefront of their Pie. Have we don't one of the biggest social media pages in the world as far as how much they post everything else? There's billions billions of US engagement in a week. And they tell me like if you WANNA hit in. How Easy? Always attach a dance to his songs. He's that's how you win and I'm just like God. So fucking LAMB. I CAN'T I. Can't we just listen to fuck music and like a special dance? But that's what it is. I'm just curious what you see like. Where is it heading? I think it's good for kids. You know especially in sports to get exposure with social media right like every Yuga to post your highlights in all of that stuff when people get to see everything that you're doing and you can connect with anybody all over the world. But I know that if I had all of this technology when I was a kid I would not have been as good as I. What is bad as in basketball? And that's a fact because I'd be so focused on how I looked or in Oth. This move was good enough for it was going to get a lot of us. It was trendy or anything like that I would not focused on the actual real goals that I had in life. Yeah I know that I kids walking around dancing on the take talk and it's it's just crazy man. It's just the amount of time kids spend on their phone. Video Games ipads. The computer is ridiculous. I can't imagine like my parents made me go outside. I was on my bike running around neighborhood you know. We didn't have anything to hide. Walkie talkies since about it now. I feel bad because my kids on the a lot but at the same time. My wife cracks down. Just listen okay. It's been fucking enough. You know my son got his new bike. Today I put together we We went riding earlier and you know the phone is definitely something they love but at the same time they love watching. Tv They love watching you know shows and things like that but the definitely very addicted to it and my son is almost eight. He's a genius. He's very ahead as far as academically. I think he's very very very very far. Behind as far as like on the athletic side which is terrible on my behalf. It's really bad but you know my wife said what can I do? I can't be you know. Be On that part. I gotta develop that when you say that it's so real and I want everyone listening to this to understand whether you have kids or you have nephews or somebody yet you gotta limit that Shit because when at first I was like what song start following this this and this and I was like man. I've done so much with this jewelry game that if I start looking at what the fuck everyone else is doing like I don't give a fuck about what the fuck they're doing. I'm my own lane. I'M NOT. I'm not looking in the rear view mirror anymore. Too Far ahead of these fools like why the fuck would I care about? What they're doing night could appreciate if it comes across like my time. Something from someone else I cool. I'm not tripping but you know what you said is is real you know. Actually now that makes me think about it. You know I don't know how to do you. Follow whatever I follow you now but given notice you follow your Friends Office. The owners right like you have actual okay. Do you ever notice the. Don't call anybody out into saying you notice all the fake shit. That happens on their everyday day. Like I'll see motherfuckers known all my life and it's not about that it's just. I see them liking a celebrities posted something and don't like none of my picks up like this should so funny. You don't even know this. It just cracks me up and see like Ivan see people who are taking pictures of Shit. That's not theirs and everything else. I'm like Yo Bro. I would never postal card in a just right. I see friends from one area of my life. Follow friends from a complete time in era of my life and unlike how did they get to know each other following comment on each other's pictures you know people just people just want. I don't know if they would just want to communicate with everybody or they want to relate on something but you know I kind of have a very small circle my social media. You know you can look at the hundred thousand followers but man. I got like four or five people that I talked to every day. You know considered family right. You know. That's what they say. When you get older get smaller and so you'll go through patterns of you'll meet someone else like wow. I think about my daughter. Because she's the youngest out of three kids. You were only child so you know you got a lot of attention for your parents and my daughter's a tomboy and she gets beat up by the same time she fights. I hear see her lying. She says that the Middle Child Ryder hitter when he didn't and so on spanking him and I realized. Oh man the Fox you know. I watched the cameras on Mike Do. She's my wife knows that but at the same time my daughter. She's feisty she likes fuck around and fight she's almost well. She's almost three and She loves makeup. She loves Princess Dresses and everything else and everything right and the reason why I'm bringing it up is because she's like feisty like you I can't wait till she grows me fucking crazy but do you do you own any dresses the own heels or you just guys yeah no yes and okay so you own hills owners. I don't know man. You just seem like such tom which nothing wrong with. Thank you and good. Wants to put myself together. Turn it on and off. How just curious just curious so yo that is it but the last question. I ask every single guest. That's on my show is. Do you have any questions for me? Yes I always got questions knows got questions one question just because you know you always about like the chains and you make chains and guys podcast now and you know got the Vim Bowler. Bolan calling yourself a ball or any to your shot. You're holding. You're holding chain in your podcasts Logo right and IT'S A it's a California chain in you know you're Korean Korea in the Asian Asian population in cold Sharon where you're from in your background and heritage. Why you know why California because I was born and raised here you know and I love Cali like I can't imagine putting Delaware on my chain. You know what though it's different though I don't know about dealt with Kelly's like this was born. I can't united my parents migrated here from Korea and I was born and raised here. Macaulay boy and when I say that in a true sense look I got love for San Diego and go out there and visit here and there but you gotta remember. I grew up in La. I played ball and went to college in the bay area. That's northern cal. I own a business in northern California Switzerland's by state right nor cal and it really should be two different states because it's so crazy nor council cow but I just represented golden state to the fullest. I Love California. I want to retire in San Francisco. La Strana Jimmy Crazy. I think you'll understand that when you get when you come here and you'll get look at. I love it. It's great. It's just I really want my kids to be a little more focus. I feel like It's tough in La United. Say that now I mean it's a grind but I love I led to. I WanNa be there but you know as you say San Francisco I mean. I've been to San Francisco as well very. It's it's beautiful. It is beautiful but it's a lot more it's slower. It's not a club nightclub type of city and everything else. It's very expensive in San Francisco but it's different. It's more laid back. There's a little bit. There's more granola people over there. The East Bay is real. Chill my wife's entire families though there. My wife doesn't WANNA leave. Ll She's like. I'm not not no way but Adriana listen thank you so much for coming on the show. I hope that you know all the women. All the girls any men with with early girl dads can listen to this episode and NB inspired by what? You're doing for the girls and women across the globe. I want to say thank you. Got Any shot outs or anything. Before we get off a man. Thank you Ben. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm so glad we did this. You know especially what happened in L. A. We never got the chance to meet. But next time on l. a. After Corona Man. I hope I can get out there. You know. Teach your kids. Some basketball will link up. Listen to music and you gotTA show me. Show me the best Korean spot in La seat. I it's my. It's my favorite food culture seriously. Oh no I'm going to show you the best food. There is period our show. Thanks Ladies and gentlemen that's Adriana Honda on your mouse man Speaking of music let me Guess Lake on that Bitch right there And I was just thinking man. I used to be that guy who only followed thirty five people right. There was a big deal for me for like two years. I don't know how this like. I had this weird contest with crime. Bydesign Albouy Ray who follow less people than animals? You get real gangster. Just don't follow anybody and just be like you know what man get over you. Fuck yourself I know cut it. Don't follow anybody and it's weird. Whatever and in a way I kind of get it. But at the same time he keeps everyone's pages and Like G Dragon doesn't follow and dislike. People might man fucking relax man. And then during this time I'd fall thirty five people and then I'd creep up to one hundred and they run when I got a little over one hundred. I'd unfold like ninety people just because I really want to only unfiled three people but then you know what one instagram got the mute button and out of like four hundred twenty people that I follow right now like three hundred. Eighty of them on mute. So it's like you know like I ain't gotta work. Watch a post your stories. Nothing and then to I realize. Actually how fucking stupid I was being and I need to grow up and slap myself but yeah if I fucked with you I follow you. I'm still probably forgetting all my peoples but I just felt like I need more. Well rounded timeline right. Instagram algorithm is so fucking awful. It's currently the worst it's ever been. It's really bad. You see people who literally have sixteen million followers like black. China and she'll post a picture like an original picture right. It might even be a bad or something right. But she'll get like thirty eight forty thousand like something that's point zero zero zero two percent it should just doesn't I don't I don't understand like algorithms. It's bad you know so. Her pictures will get big. Likes whatever but it's just like man by the way black China got a crazy S. Hustle tweeted about the other day. She's charging two hundred fifty dollars to follow her followers back. And it's like I don't know if she's got a disclaimer like she'll follow them for a year. You know what fuck it is right. But if she gets like five thousand people to say yes. That's one point two million dollars like fucking good hustle. And Kim doesn't do that but I'm just saying that I mean she's obviously thirsty for some paper or something but it's nuts. She has a program right now where she's selling face times. You could facetime her for nine hundred fifty dollars and she even has financing. Get breaking up into four payments like this bitches. If it wasn't a pandemic I'd say she was genius but I bitch is trash anyway. Instagram is fucking crazy. Album is so bad like to them. They're saying it makes more sense for page views in their tech world. But I just want my fucking chronological timeline back. Anyways I said all that just to say this I just followed Adriaan Han that that means a lot. You know what I'm saying. 'cause I respect I think she's dope so I actually hope you guys follow her to Especially you know if you've got a daughter and you try to look for a role model for them or whatever. I don't know you trying to slap DMZ. I'd that's on. Y'All I that's not. I don't know but speaking of women I got another female boss coming on the POD soon Maybe next week. I'm not sure 'cause I got phase clan coming up but This lady she runs a fortune five hundred company. She's a woman of color. Say that some people are like Yo man they go through more adversity. More drama portion is true. They really do definitely go to way more shit. And that's a big deal. She runs a fortune five hundred company that thinks she started on her own. That would mean that she falls into the she. Oh category right. She's a C Jones. He's she's a she. Boss speak an instagram. I've been having a lot of fun on. Instagram lies lately but Maxine thinking of moving by the instagram live. The Way I do that when I interact with you know with you. Guys my followers. My fans my listeners I'm even thinking about doing like the town on the fan questions on the on the podcast thinking about moving it to caffeine. Tv Drake just signed a huge deal. Caffeine TV the founder of caffeine. Tv's the one of the CO founders or one of the founders actually apple TV. So I don't know I just interesting spoken with it. Somehow my age reach out to these dudes. We'll see I don't know But speaking of instagram live The other night a girl from Puerto Rico or at Newark Assumption which went to Puerto Rico. Avoid the pandemic. I duNno doesn't make no sense but she began a dance Halo Pooch where you know what I'm saying. I'm alive and I saw so much. Savagery in the comments. Okay motherfuckers are really listen you guys. I'm really actually starting to believe. I really think that you guys are raised by fucking neanderthals. But even my cousin my cousin Gabby. She's a cute innocent girl you know. She's I've known this girl since she was seventeen. She's my wife's first cousin and she got on and you guys couldn't continue yourselves man. You know a lot of mother fuckers GonNa Start. Canton blocked right. I love blocking people. The mute is so much alert and another one the restriction is just like because you don't even know when people sit there and like I could expo- exposed me from wet dog. What do you does? Nobody can expose me. There's not gonNA be out Ben's Gay I'll tell you gay. What are you gonNA expose me on? Talked to other motherfucker. I have so many other female friends I don't get like what are you gonNA expose me on? I'm not joking maybe one hundred legitimate people have tried to say that. I rent my cars. I had on my name the not mine. I know how fucking dumb your I live. Rent free in so many of these people heads like it's crazy. There's some dude who actually my boy brand homicide cope with their friends with this one dude as C. And talking crazy and decide yo bro like you get smacked up man. What like wide like for real legit live rent free and somebody's fools heads anyways. Continue salesman please. When these ladies are on my live on the show whatever? It is man chill. Please don't get blocked. We like to show love to women on behind the Baler on this podcast. I on this show speaking of shows a new season of Bosh my favorite Aka my favorite fucking show in the last decade. Yes over empire over fucking empire with the fuck over a power fucked I say empire for and it was a new season Bosch season six is on it releases tomorrow. I can't wait I'm so fucking excited I think I'm going to Binge Watch Season three and four and then try to count on five and then fucking and then get into it just to refresh us because I mean fuck. I'm so sad like there's going to be one more season next year and then that's it Try to get into that Oh yeah finally watched a kid from Coney Island and Damn Yo that shit is a it was well made. First of all dash should hit hard. 'cause where he came from and his. I really didn't have a lot of knowledge about Stefan. Marberry other than you know what I'm saying like Mandalay was coney because he has a tattoo on his arm right and I kind of knew that the characters Shuttleworth of he guy game was based on Stefan. Marberry right but I didn't know about Stefan's situation you know after he got traded from the sons like stopped Kinda like even paying attention and there was a drama with him and fucking Jesus Christ Cambodia fucking forgotten fucking named fucking knicks coach Fucking Philadelphia Coats Clippers coach with the Fox's name anyways Yo Stefan's journey was deep as fuck and it just really really breathe a live since he was like three or four years old came from a family a fucking people. I don't know anything about his family. Nobody's brothers like four or five brothers was dad was just solid. Dude Man I used to live in the same building as Estefan like four years ago and he was playing in China at that. Time right and this was in downtown. La and he'd only stay there for the summer but Yeoman. I bought the movie to support my guys. Thirty five ventures I didn't rent it but if you can rent the movie and watch it. It's highly inspiring. I know you motherfucker as basketball fans out there. What he did in China of all fucking places in China Hima never spoke to linger anything fucking went to China dog in one the CBA championship brought like two or three championships. There speaking of China Sidebar Stefan Marberry emailed Adam Silver the commissioner of the NBA after the corner virus got real bad in China and he told Adam Silver to stop the NBA Games. Because the ship was going to be a problem. And Fuck Shit Up. Salute Stefan Marberry manager was a good movie man washed down. We'll talk valley girl has become available after years of not being on Amazon. Prime never was. It was never on Netflix. I'll Betcha there. She ends up on fucking net flicks. It's just the way the shit happens with me when I buy a movie and certain things I'm waiting for somehow net flicks gets it. I duNno anyways I've been trying to buy it for years on Amazon Prime. It's now available. I bought yesterday. That shit's available for rent or purchase Valley Girl Stars Nicolas Cage. I think this is maybe his second or third movies ever been in. This is the first time he starred in a moving you know. This was his first starring role. The movie is also in my top twenty five movies list. I did the infamous top forty but this movie valley girls in my top twenty five. It has always been one of my favorite movies. Sa- great fucking movie is a Love Story. Obviously but it just la shit is also like fuck if you are from. La County especially from the South China Valley. It's a must watch right a lot of these places. The movie are gone now. But it's fucking sick to see and I haven't really watched it again yet. I can't wait to reminisce right. Oh Yeah I've been practicing my breathing exercises lately right. Seema Lil Duval. He beat he's like this do scuba dive all time. He smokes a lot of we. Too little divall smokes big. We'd like elementary of smokestack. Good Weed. But you know he's always put once in a while post like some shit like these these African dudes who are like insane fucking hold their breath for like eleven minutes and Shit Right. But I've been sitting in one of our guest rooms and just like Indian style lights low and just kind of low key. Meditating right and I'm just trying to hold my breath for over a minute at a time and just deep breathe because I I like for Wagon. Homa breath for even fucking thirty seconds you know and like I said I see some of these foods that can hold their breath for over five minutes underwater and At my best even at at my best physical condition I could never go over ninety seconds so like The breathing exercises. I've been reading up on it. It will drastically help your overall respiratory health and obviously that's very good for krona virus. You know part of me wishes I just fucking had this fucking buyers man because then I don't have to worry about it no more because IBM but then again they say come second time. You know you never fucking know. Jesus Christ what a fucking nightmare right back to that. I've been trying to be in the pool at my son's each of them and try to teach them how to call their breath in the water. There too young figuring it out. I didn't fuck with allows like fifteen right when I I had to swim. That's a whole other story. I think I mentioned before. Indicate on Hustle series which we will get to series three before hopefully before the pandemic ends. I gotTA write. This shutdown will take forever but I've been swimming at least once a week with my kids London's a great swimmer. I think I've mentioned before he's like fucking all about anything water. He's so into the ocean marine biology in the sharks. He knows every species of sharks. He's just a fucking. He's a great swimmer for having no training and he'd been jumping in the pool since he was fuck. You know like just ten months he jumps into a fucking pool in Hawaii. Don't fuck I got London a new. Bmx bike donal mongoose. Motherfucking victim faked the next bikes with the weird like slanted fucking Frame he got a real big frame like real. Bmx bike you know. He's got to wear a helmet but he riding his bike man. He outgrew his old bike in getting tall and shit. And and we've been riding man we've been married for like thirty every day at least half an hour every day. I as kind of discouraged and you know now. He's like we get past. You know the trap and he's like now. I don't WanNa go home so every day. Just ride with my son. Man Riders Low too slow man. I gotTa get do some one on one lessons with him so he can get off that training wheels and Kaya so fucking active man at all three kids. She crazy man. All my kids amazing but Yemen. London is getting so fucking tall. Scroll like four or five inches last years or less and he's getting heavier you know what I'm trying to say is I. Just don't give a fuck about anything else in life man. The cars all the other shit. It's like look man seeing him in all my kids flourish like when I see my kids smile. Laugh and be happy. Just pay like kind of just watch them beyond their own just from afar. Look at them and see them happy. I get so emotional inside like almost begin to cry. You know. I hate to see him fight. But that's just natural because all of them are so close in age they fight all the fucking time. Kaya has become a compulsive liar. She'll tell London nut rider hitter and then fuck in London. Fight Rider and then fucking. She'll tell me that writer hit or not and maybe spanking Ryan and just realized later. I'll look in the cameras and see what they you know she's lying it's just crazy I was checking my kids. Little piggy banks and stuff right and check out the little gold bars. I got them and they got little collection. 'cause like my cousin. Steve got them some. My mom got them some. And it's just crazy. 'cause he's little small little ten gram bars and Swiss bars and it's like I copped those things when gold was under twelve hundred Steve. When they're under that to my mom got him like thirteen. Fourteen hundred right and now gold is over. Seventeen hundred an ounce shitting last days just jumped crazy and it's actually hit a five-year high. So I don't know man I think goals GonNa hit two thousand. I post this Shitty of the Damn fucking page and John Miers. I go hit two thousand Xinmin. Go beyond two thousand. Listen don't sleep speaking gold. My all gold. Money counter is being resold for seven hundred fifty dollars in the fucking pandemic look. I'M NOT BRINGING BACK. Just thought it was crazy because I was checking stocks and checking ebay. That's what they're going for. Reseller stores before the pandemic lockdown persona for like eight hundred thousand. I don't know those are done though. Those are done and done but the good news is on four twenty. That's this Monday right this Monday. For Twenty I'm dropping my all Gold Ben Body. The chain Vacuum Sealer K. And I just got mine today. Shit Dope as fuck. I needed a food. Say Ron needed a fucking shit goal. This is fresh the money counter. Right and It's GonNa be presold on four twenty but it's going to be shipped on time. Someone fucker tried to sell me. The in the fucking guy that maybe or should network. I don't fucking need to talk to Erin but a motherfucker. Try to sell me this shit for six hundred dollars ball. He want to get like. Why are you stupid? I think he was just trying to flex on me but he had it and I was like y'all man I forgot exactly how much it's going for. One thousand five hundred fifty two hundred whatever? It is cheap for how good it is right. You already saw them put the money counters going for dirt cheap and the motherfuckers sold way more three or four times that so I know this is gonNA sell out in ten seconds or less same thing as the money counters going to five hundred units for sale Well I did the money counter twice. So that was a thousand total. You know what I know. This is going to do good but I wanted to get these ready to go immediately site because a pandemic and China got shut. You know obviously delayed Shit so. I got five hundred for sale immediately and then I'm going to another five but I don't know I may release them which I think I will for the summer. We'll see how this goes. I hope the botts don't eat it all lab but this all goal vacuum-sealed that works really good. I just feel though some cash and I've vacuum-sealed some Bimbo did the strain some Cat Dick. I can't smell shit but freshness so be on the lookout for twenty but our mind. You guys obviously weekend. What knock. She'd be too late. Listen don't sleep for twenty check. My g stories but yo- that's all the time we have today thank you again. Don't forget to keep spreading the good word and you will be rewarded as soon as this shit dies down. We come off lockdown on GONNA make new merch for Bamba podcast. You know what I'm saying for the BBC Army for behind the baller Some of this merchant be for sale. Most be most of it will be for giveaways just to show my love back. The pre half you guys WanNa bless you guys. Forget me up in the charts. You know what I'm saying. I might hitting these charts crazy Some dumb fucks at DM. You should be humbles. Because the only like doc first of all men shut the fuck up. Okay I don't want anything bad. Always my guy but I was trending for weeks and months. I was fucking charting highly for months and weeks and and I've been doing this now for eight months and it gets better and better every week. So what about like all that? Did that. Contribute to it all right now then? Shut the fuck up. That's what I thought. Fuck Oh we are. A top ten podcast. Thank you for listening. We'll be back Monday with the weekend. Wrap up with fan questions and the brand new jackass of the week. Joe Lakey Lake. Take us the fuck out of here homie.

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S2 Ep 38: Solutions for Inclusion w/ Adrianna Quintero

Think 100%: The Coolest Show

1:07:36 hr | 7 months ago

S2 Ep 38: Solutions for Inclusion w/ Adrianna Quintero

"Is the show on. Climate change brought to you by hip hop caucus. One hundred percent have done great work. But to the exclusion of the groups that are truly experiencing the worst of the environmental impacts. The big greens have just continued to shift the conversation. Much more towards the technocratic solutions but without having the people we cannot get to the solutions that are truly going to benefit everybody. That's dramatic quintero. The scene director of diversity equity and inclusion at entry foundation. She is our guest today. And i am review your host of the coolest. Show the amazing quintero. Dear friend for many many many many many years many many years as such an honor to be here and really looking forward to this and it just reminded me also how much we have to catch up on. And you know i know. I know that you're working with a couple of us city at And i know that we're bombing beyond excited to be be able to even do some support on the democracy side so i have. I have a lot of questions than ideas and things we should. We should brainstorm is out. Then i mean Would is empty foundation's role in the movement and in the Absolutely diversity equity and inclusion which are really a trifecta that you can't take alone if you're looking to achieve equity If you're looking to get justice you need all three and you need them in earnest and The one that is obviously not mentioned explicitly. There is justice but to me. These are some of the elements that get us to justice if we don't have representation which is what our diversity is true representation in a reflection of our communities of those who are truly impacted and closest to the issues that we're talking about and working on then you can start the conversation if those people are not included in a way that's meaningful that is not transactional that is truly equitable. Meaning that where are you gotta be lifted up. Lifted up so that you can truly participate in a in a situation where the power dynamics aren't oppressing you or quieting your voice in any way that's incredibly critical and then of course you need equity To me equity is almost the outcome. No we actually spent a lot of time talking about what this looks like in our work. What we mean when we're saying this and it was a really important Process because it allowed us to really look at the fact that the removal of bias ultimately is is equity. And if any of you've seen the image of of the fence right and you've got a an adult who's tall who can easily look over. The fans doesn't need any help to look over the fence yet. Another person has a little bit. Smaller needs a small a bit help to look over that same fence in. Watch the game person who's shorter in height in the needs to needs these bigger box and ultimately we can't all participate equally unless we are really Able to raise ourselves up and remove. Those buys is now the ultimate dream there is. Let's remove the fence. What's remove all of those systemic impairments and barriers that have historically been placed in our way to prevent us from fully participating. And that's the way that we will actually thrive without that. We won't so where. I sit at energy foundation. I feel like my responsibility is to make sure that. All of those things are happening in unison. So that we're actually getting towards justice and towards a future. That were the results that everyone is driving towards to solve this climate crisis or truly equitable and truly benefiting i those who are most impacted ultimately as a result of that the rest of the world but energy foundation. You know where where We don't have our own down what we don't have our own funding actually. See that as an opportunity because what we have to do then is actually talked to the foundations and help bring philanthropy along. Which you know is is a challenge. When we got into the conversation will be due to the call. Somebody this pick up and a million voices they. Hey how you doing. So i guess for those who are listening. I am so blessed to talk to my friend Quintero and her dog. Let me max bella. Bella is really excited to be here with us today to because she she's heard me just you know senior praises Of you my friend that that she's she wants to participate too so she she has a lot to say. I like to say that she is often my my In of course key impeded might my aunt here interpreter to say. She says for me when i can bella. We all need to do so for those. Who don't know you. And i don't mean just your role now with the energy foundation and your role before With one of the big greens and your before even running your own entity. But this who. Who is a quintero so that you know what of all the things that people ask me the hardest one to answer because i think we're also multifaceted but i i have done a little thinking about this recently and For me it really defines me is. I'm more than anything. I'm a passionate advocate on on every issue Actually before i came into this field i was public defender and throughout my life Look back to. When i was a kid. I've always really been a passionate advocate. I'm also a committed. Mom and blessed to be that and i am a latina and everything that that brings you know it. Which is this wonderful Global mix of cultures and Fire and again this perspective. That i believe is really critical for us to have all of these conversations because as women of color. They're just different. Expect experiences that you have and you know you walk in and even with your name automatically There's a different. There's a different A lot of sumptious made on us so that that is all helped to define me in a way that i think feeds that that need for justice fairness and and and truly living a mission driven life. Do you think because of who you are. Let's your work from your time as an attorney to your time as an activist who you are from your from your family to your heritage to your culture The make you a better activists or does it make you. A more informed activists. I don't necessarily think that it would necessarily become an act like not everybody who may have similar experiences to me becomes an activist. But i do think that in my experience every single one of my experiences has made me more of an activist and a more informed and better activists because every single one of us has a story to tell. And i think the difference is that for so long. We haven't been telling the stories of those of us who are not in the dominant culture who are not the traditional power player especially here in the us but franken even on the global stage. So i believe that the only difference between me who has been actively out there talking about this really bringing fire to the to the fight is that i was encouraged to do so and so one of the things that i really live for is encouraging others to just raise their voice and speak up And that's really how we inspire others to become activists to to ask for what they need and what they want and tell their stories because nine times out of talent. Your story is going to inspire or somebody. If you keep going with that make change. it's gonna be really important. How would this look different to you. If it was flip flopped if it was actually majority people of color and the rumour two movement would would this what what would would you still have this saying at. That's candidate dream frankly. I hope that that's what we're that's what we're working towards here because i think we would. We would have started in a different place. Frankly and honestly if you look back at the movement. We started in a different place. So one of the things that i've talked about. Is that at some point in this movement. You know in the in the sixty seventies when when environmentalism really took hold. We started in a different place. It was very much movement of people and we shifted to a a heavy heavy reliance on on on the academic problems that that that of course sciences is necessary to solve these problems but to the to the detriment of the people and to our stories and especially to the lives and experiences of people of color who we know because we've lived it the impacts of climate change of air pollution water pollution of pesticide contamination of this in a different way in at a different level food culturally. We just we've just lived that differently And every one of us. I think can point back to one of those moments in our history as a person of color where the environment was. Just impacting us differently. So we while we need everybody. I believe that we would have had a more story. Based experience. She'll movement and i think we still can i think that's what's motivating people now is that people are now talking about how how their lives interact with the problems of of water. Pollution air pollution rather than the focus on data. Which which again. That's how we solve the problems. But that's not necessarily what life that fire underneath us as activists to just go to the mat and get it done so. I believe that we have an opportunity to bring that energy that we're seeing right now in the streets to this fight and to make some changes at a level that That is needed because the urgency is is absolutely extreme. Another thing review nodes. I think we're finally telling the story of how all of the different forms of oppression lead to this type of frankly the oppression of the environment which by definition oppresses communities and it becomes the circle restart to see how these things all come together. How if we are excluding the voices on environmental advocacy of people of color. Were not going to get the results we need. And it's only a part and parcel of the same thing that we're doing. Democracy excluding people are in the democratic process. All of these things come together and we can't really solve one out solving all of them. I love that. I mean i think that is the way to go and so i appreciate that vision I guess my question though that do you think that vision could scare some people because we have a movement that is already. The die is cast The mode is set and some aspects. And so what you're saying is to tear the house down. You know. I like hip hop. I don't mind that at all but but but sometimes you know that can scaffolds because that may mean Re imagining a revision. Other words. nothing in the square but at the circle or no lines at all. So what does that mean. No if what you're saying is an essence. This is the way we should be. This is the solution this successful. But then we're not that way now and people are in those positions which means they may have to transition to a different position. What does it mean for for for for their perspective. And for what you're talking about you know you're talking about power there right and shift in power and nobody likes to give up power. And i think we're seeing that play out so vividly in front of us as we all you know quarantine or some modified version of this life at home that we have right now during the pandemic. But it's it's inevitable it's inevitable that the power has to shift. I mean humans were so frayed of change and yet it's the only constant we ourselves are changing. Our environment is changing. Our lives are changing constantly. And i think what we're trying to say it's a disruption in the power structure and and that's going to be threatening and that's going to be met with resistance and i think we're seeing that but it's necessary because the majority now frankly is calling for that and the craziest part about it is that is long overdue because our planet in our environment and has been calling for years. We just haven't been listening so the same way that the people have been calling for change the planet's been calling for change. We can't look at these wildfires in california here. Calvary eyelid always do. The minute pitchers goes up. We just cross our fingers start praying hoping that. Something's not gonna just be set aflame again and you know another a million people displaced in and and Tons of of air pollution and carbon pollution. Just just really really tragic stuff plus at the same time looking at at The gulf coast which has been hit three times in a row just this year not to mention all the hurricanes that have come before so i think our planet is screaming for change planet or planets been taking to the streets long before us and and so how do we change this in a way that actually shows that this is beneficial to everybody. I think what happens. We often get stuck in this idea of a status quo. It safe because we know it but it's not safe. It's actually detrimental right now and so we need to do is make sure. The vets changes not working for anybody right now. Maybe a tiny tiny tiny number of polluters are benefiting. But i was wondering about what about their families sound like their kids and their grandkids and their aunts and uncles They're living in this too. So i think it really is about. We have to shift our thinking to what is going to bring the most good to our planet to our people and that is going to mean changing but we can't look at this at our faces in our country and not admit in frankly in the world not admit that the people of the global majority art the people the global majority. It's us people call her. We got a story to tell it's our turn and we're not gonna blow it up to the point where it's destroyed blow it up in a way that it's going like like a balloon like it's gonna be enough for all of us has a data in a good way rather than in a destructive way unless maybe you're a an oil producer and that case may be it may not be too beneficial for you. I'm okay with that. New normal to we were when we went right to folks listening. Probably say man. They went right to the bar. They didn't they didn't go into the shallow end. Go to the medium died. Buddy went right to the one off the top so we will be down to notch. Just one again folks listening to said they got us go into linked in right now and right now we kill we luthan spot the spot for you for you. You do all this. Listen to the entirety of this conversation. So let me get back to this to this some of the basics of this process When i say to you What is the environment. And what does it mean to you. What comes to mind. So i When i think about the environment. And i think this is something. I love to hear your you your reflection on what i what. I'll say 'cause. I thought about this a lot to as a as a latina and frankly as as latin necks a black next community. Both here and abroad I've i've heard that we've got some similarities on this but for me the environment is is everything around me. It's not just when i'm heading out for you. Know a a walk by the beach. Jura a high gore. You drive out to someplace where i can buy or whatever it's everywhere it's the tree across the street it's the it's the air i'm breathing. It's the water drinking. it's the the it's it's everything that is surrounding me and supporting my life. And the life of those around me. And i think that is something that that for me. Really is at the core of a environmentalism is acknowledging the connectivity that we have with our planet with all living things. It's not something out. There is something that we carry in our hearts in. It's it's it's our interactions with nature in every single form. Because every take a bite of something. We should thinking about the environment return. Alight trade off turn on fox. it's all environment it's everywhere and and to me. That is something that that is Too often not the way we talk about environment. But i think it's really important why review i love that. A this beautiful. And i think online is that we want an environment. That's healthy only for us but for the next generation. So i'm with you and that's the goal right. We want clean air clean water and we want peace when they ryan that is safe And that's not hostile has now a lot of different reasons. I guess that's our goal and unfortunately we know to get there on one of these goals is that we have to transition from fossil fuels to clean energy because that method of extraction his style. Method is a method that causes poverty and pollution. That method causes harm. And so we that. Method is not sustainable. And so we understand with you one hundred percent and then definitely puts people like me people of color and harm's way and sound and then for us from a moral standpoint. We can't stand for that. So that the aren't ryan meant to be beautiful. It should be amazing. They can be but unfortunately there are those who are using the environment for their own greed leads to them. Your point i guess is the thing so we should look like we have that. We know the goal is and as you mentioned. You gave this beautiful vision of tearing the house down. But before she would you change though and ex ante out at age old that little yellow hat on his bulldoze before you. You've done it. You also try to be more a sophisticated and trying to use. Obviously you're you know amazing legal minding your strategy and all that good stuff to help our movement move along in a way so you've obviously worked through diop diversity. inclusion and equity or diversity equity inclusion To put into the active site is. It's not a very good actor in you. Don't want to live what die now another that now round to funny in the equity and inclusion I guess my point to you. is this When a moment as a movement why saying that because of the pandemic and because of pollution it should have environmental justice and climate justice are are front and center. And so we're having this conversation the guy in a way that's being dead probably now more i would. Can you let me know that. I've heard recently. But is that enough can people just. There's some who don't think that that's actually the way to go in those who think it should be that it should. We should be having a conversation Is there justice component. Great great questions and and truly Excuse me it's harder to to answer just as you can tell. I read answer things just with one word or a short sentence. But it's i think that's actually a factor of the fact that the that these are not necessarily easy answers honestly if we could start with just justice and that would get us there that would be the ideal. Sadly justice i think is is the goal cut not not not because it's bad but because it's it's actually the hardest one for us to achieve as a society so i see d i as the steps that help us get there. They lay some of the foundational elements for understanding how we'd old achieve justice. So there there are some of the ingredients that have to be present in order for us to get to justice but there is no doubt that justice has to be the goal justice and equity goes hand in hand. If you do not have justice you really don't have true equity. So should we start here. I don't know. I would love it if we could start in a place where there is no question that we should have a representative table. That would take care of having to talk about diversity because it's a given that we should have everybody at the table and especially those who are most impacted representing bringing their experiences. It's also should be given that we should be inclusive Unfortunately that's also not true. In fact most of our history is humans has been divisive end has been about excluding and and and n warring and competing and destroying. And so we're trying to it's almost like a reeducation really and so it's it's teaching the very basic set until we have diversity in earnest than you know. We can't even begin now. What that does that diverse population once. We have everybody at the table. Then we need to make sure that they're properly included because it's having somebody at the table you know there's a saying i'm gonna get it wrong but it's like. The difference between a inclusion on inclusion is being. Your diversity is being invited to the dance and inclusion is being is being asked to dance. I think that's absolutely right So you wanna make sure that that not only are people there but actually able to raise the voices and sometimes that requires work. why because The systems that we have the systemic racism systemic exclusion the systems of power Are not designed for that. They are actually designed to exclude so so when we have that with those two elman's were were were starting. We're kind of getting there But ultimately end to use the same dance analogy and take a step further scrapie invited. It's even better to be asked to dance but it's better when you're throwing the party right or when you're right. We want to be the ones store the party and where we can't throw the party. We want our friends to call up. And say hey. Let's throw a party Let's do it together right so so. That's the bare minimum. So i think we need to get all of that because until we have all of those regular we can't really get to justice And emmy week his entire show talking about justice. I actually spent some time with some of my colleagues yesterday. Because i go off on my rants. When i was a public defender in philadelphia and the levels and layers of injustice that that exists in our society runs so deep that that my hope is that this type of work helps to peel back some of that old history old pain old bad habits in creating awareness of why justice has to be the goal And that's when we start to see real change when we have. All of those working in unison can big rain coming big room for those who listening. Those are large Environmental organizations usually they have budgets between fifty to a hundred and fifty plus million dollars a year in their budgets. Those are big green and we have several actually that one or two that is quite a few who fit that description Most of those have we've seen do that. Have a lot of people of color Does your you d diversity Most of them are feeling on that. They listed sometimes below twenty below ten percent on his staff. And the boards i e worse than that water zero to five percent and then when they begin to have this conversation of a that it becomes one in which it brings a lot of trauma for the people of color The black brown the indigenous people of color who work there but the but it. Sometimes it gets left there for white people to solve a lot of questions for unicef to my first question is that what's your thoughts on big greens and their handling of the war which thoughts on trauma that is brought up in these conversations. And are we mean you. As leaders are we complicit that we are allowing for more people of color to come into institutions that are causing problem knowing the wreckage onto. Yeah what an amazing question. What at that. It's powerful one in. I think we're gonna get into the into the serious Serious conversation here about com to go back to high point in the but this is this. Is this real And big greens. Which as you said are the larger environmental groups and some are are very very large Bickerings have done great great work. You know there's no denying that but to the exclusion an to the fact that there has just not been It's been to the exclusion of of the groups that are on the front lines to the exclusion of the groups that are truly experiencing the worst of the environmental impacts. Am frankly i think the greens have sh continued to shift the conversation. Much more towards These technocratic solutions that yes we need solutions again of said we need the science. We need academics but without having the people we cannot get to the solutions that are truly going to benefit everybody. So i absolutely think that the the there is a a double problem. Get into the the issue of of lack of diversity in the big greens. But i wanted to start with with. What i think is an overarching problem. That i think actually feeds lack of diversity. Which is the sense that we've got this because we have great. Scientists have great attorneys. we have all of. that's true but you don't got his until you really have the again until you really have the people who have the experience that can ground all of that work in reality and so wouldn't it be better if you had scientists and And policy design experts. Who came from the communities that were the most impacted who came from the communities that are going to benefit most from those solutions. That are coming out of these organizations. And that's why de is so important. Diversity equity inclusion are so important especially in the big greens everywhere but especially in the big greens. The big greens have a lot of money and they have just not late to the game. They're late to the game in really elevating. The voices of people of color hiring needs to be much more intentional to ensure that people of color very talented people of color we know are. They're ready to work. So you know enough of this like there's not the pipeline issue no we. We're here we are ready to deliver. But we don't really need to be brought in. We need to again invited to the dance and be invited to the conversations even within these organizations where the decisions are being made so that our experiences in our perspectives are reflected in. What's coming out of these organizations and what's ending up. Frankly passing policy. Because that's what we need so it has to be done not just you can't just put people of color in an organization Especially if they're not in leadership Or an influential positions. You need to have people of color leading and influential positions and informing the solutions. That are coming out of these organizations and the solutions need to be steeped inequity equity needs to be integrated into what we're doing And and so. That is is critical. What i say on the philanthropic side so for foundations the foundation that that that fund The the movement it's time to think beyond the big greens in it's long past time to think beyond the green big green but it's critical to really start to to to ramp up at a very rapid pace how we're investing in our groups that are truly connected to the problems to the communities truthfully representative eh engaged and an i honestly tied this to the the the environmental movement right if if who you see mostly in the news and in the halls of congress or the state house passing environmental policy are the big greens than you're not going to be seeing the same. You're you're not gonna take always be seeing the environmental justice leaders who are many times the ones who started and should be leading the fight. We we need to shift that paradigm and i think in some places. It's already happening in some of the big green who are taking this very seriously. It's already happening. I wanna talk. Though about the trauma there is no doubt in. I know that recently. We've had some really brave Craziness revelations Specifically by women of color who had some truly tragic experiences and sadly they're not alone simply the ones who had the courage to speak up and come forth Those to me. Those letters are a reflection of how this system is broken and how we need to make sure that we have leadership that is truly representative of our of our our country of our world and that means people of color on onboard people of color in leadership. ceo's people of color in a management teams in leadership teams. Making these decisions are human resources teams. Need to be proactively working to make sure that there are behaviors. That are simply unacceptable. That whether it's a micro aggression or macro aggression that they are immediately addressed and would all of this means taken as a whole is that we need to shift to a really proactive anti-racist model. It's not just enough to do this passively. We need to be actively anti-racist interrupting the same behaviors that have come before and that unfortunately happened far too often. If we're gonna see some real change. We need to protect our people and to do that. We need to make sure that they and we're not gonna be able to to to Really elevate that talent unless they're safety awareness and a true commitment to being anti-racist. No thank you for that It's been said if we save the planet but leave a system of inequality and we haven't saved much And so i guess to what you're saying. I have two follow up questions to that. And thank you for this. This powerful powerful conversation. And i just wanted us to questions again. Does go on the trauma in the letters. You mentioned the one. We've seen a lot of folks within the park In the black people of color Network have been saying they felt fill used by the system or they feel like when they're indies organizations. They feel traumatized. And it's hostile to them. So i guess my question again stems from the standpoint. How are we asking these organizations. Who can't treat the people they see every day well to save our planet and i guess on top of that then for you because you know you all where you are at the foundation wash in this philanthropic world Is the philanthropic world codependent in this because if you continue to fund the one who is causing the trauma knowing they aren't making the changes and knowing that has been literally a out there. And what does that say also when we continue to give these big greens did money to be big in the first place There is a system in place and would like well no. You don't fix that immediately in regards to you. D i in regards to your just the in regards to your ear. How year to being an antivirus open. And then listen. You'll go from one hundred to one and again to you You'll see changes literally split. And they say that's not what i would like saying. It was his lickety-split in that process. So what is that. How how was that. I mean can an organization that wants to be anti-racist that wants to be about the if it's not showing that how does that entity save the world. Yeah well. I i love how you woven together because i really hung on your first statement which was if we don't save How do we save the planet if we if we don't make these that were what does it matter if we save the planet but leave race system. We haven't saved much. No no i actually. I don't think we can save the planet if we leave the system of inequality. i think that's the reality. Is that if we leave a system of inequality we're not saving the planet Because we may be saving a place. We may be saving a space. We may be providing some solutions but unless those solutions are truly benefiting the most impacted were not. Were not succeeding. It's a short term victory. It's not a long-term victory in order to have a long a truly saving the planet. The system have to change and that does start with these organizations it starts in government it starts in a lot of places but for the purposes of our conversation. The answer your question. It's it's really about these organizations. And and and other nations that that may perpetuate this same status quo the same dominant culture. That is not It's it's it's. It's not sustainable. It's outdated frankly and we need to make sure that we have Again just restated people of color in power what we can do what we are doing as a intermediary funders is so intermediary funders means. We don't have a lot of these. Foundations are People have these big endowments a lot of money millions and billions of dollars that are either from family or from others And and they give money to others. That's us for the listeners. Who who are exactly a living day to day. 'cause 'cause i know that that That it's not always common knowledge But so so that's usually how it foundation has its own money. Energy foundation doesn't have its own money. We actually actively fundraise and ask foundations those foundations that have billions to We you know we know of grantee teas and wonderful organizations that you can support for the longest time what has happened whether it's directly from that foundation the the money source They've either gone directly to the traditional big green organizations. Because they know them because they are there's connections there because Those big organizations have big teams of people who actively fundraise for them all of these different reasons that that they've they've been able those those organizations environmental groups someone's recalling big greens have a a more direct road straight to the money straight to say. Hey we need this money and because for the longest time again. It's been this idea that i mentioned earlier on our conversation. This shift where environmentalism went from being of the people to being much more about policy and about This data and such that was that was the way they the the white people. Let's call it what it is. The white people were giving the money. Were really comfortable giving the money to white people who were doing things that very much very white things which was basically. We've got lots of data we've got a lot of reports we gotta Things that are kind of really the habits of of of white supremacy. The what white people are comfortable with people are uncomfortable with the white supremacy a terminology. Because it's off it's always you know you think kkk but but white supremacy is really this the dominant culture the dominant habits of of whiteness. Which again are very much. Let's let's do it this way and let's do it our way so when you have two people who are both kind of the same mindset in natural that they're reassure i trust you here. Take my money and What we're trying to do at the f. is disrupt that and this is where my commitment lies is. How do we say and this is a big change for us. Because i finishing was is as not been this way. This is this is this is why i like a challenge and this was one of the challenges that i thought. This is gonna be what we do at why because now we have a chance to talk to those same foundations to help bring the foundations along and say look. That's not the only path and this is where this is where the magic lies right now so our role can be to help you a big foundation with a lot of money. Identify a lot of the groups who are already there because there are true mean just hundreds of thousands of incredible people doing incredible work to protect the environment so making that connection is an important as frankly it's mission critical and it's my mission as i see. It is to make sure that that happens. There's an additional stat. Which is that. Because we also help to inform policy and recognizing that especially in in some states where there's the need to to collaborate with with a lot of different partners and make sure that we've got the right policy. We're doing a ton of training. As far as making in order to make sure that every single person who works for us understands that we cannot be making the same assumptions. That we've been making for years that we need to start by asking ourselves first and foremost who is most impacted by this policy and second step are they at the table and thirds are their voices heard if until we can get those two yes and that requires funding that requires support that requires all types of things that until we can do that. Then we're not truly integrating equity into our processes And and so. There's i i've been spending all my time working on that and i'll tell you honestly what's been most exciting in it. I really i credit. The the people like you who have just been so firm in raising the importance of elevating people of color in this dialogue. The what. I'm seeing very quickly. Is incredible receptivity in eagerness frankly to say how do we do this. How do we do this right. And how do we not only not only change the paradigm of giving to the same groups that we've always given but how do we truly just make the space about the people who are the most impacted. So it's it's a long. It's a long answer but it's actually a process that is about simply peeling away. The layers of assumptions that we have and end end assumptions. That that foundations have assumptions that our society has that That people of color people in our community don't know what we need. When that could be further from the truth we absolutely no in need and we know how to get there and if we can actually get in there and do it. it's going to get done amen. Amen and amen out will man. So i'd have to look at this. Time does so so so fat at two more questions for you I wanna make sure we have a lot of young folks who listened to the coolest show and this conversation And so i wanna make sure with your background Because a lot of them are engaged with demonstration but demonstration without litigation leads to frustration. And i want you to break down for them. The you've had so many cases from rental justice and what you've worked on And man a we gotta have. You can make that whole william the conversation we gotta talk about next time but this piece explained to them the importance of environmental litigation and how is difficult because literally how the cases work it goes out of the public eye. But it's still happening until that time. He then they losing momentum but actually is going through the legal processes and that when it to begin to be ready to get ready to move again. Be three years later. We'll five years later and you're or it could be way out there mark so this explain the importance of litigation walk on with movement absolutely litigating. Well that's why. I actually went to one of the bigger rain at a natural resources council was when i was in law school. I learned exactly what you were talking about which you know. I consider myself pretty informed on law school. But i didn't understand every aspect of how regulations and things like that a lot of these. We know about laws. We learn about laws but we don't often learn about these other policies and regulations that really have just incredible impact on our lives. And that's what motivated me to become a an environmental attorney And and would really drew me to. Nc in particular. Because so many cases that i was reading involved in our dc bend so much of this work on the regulatory side With gets in the weeds but in an s in essence which saying right. There's this whole other process of things that happen End illegal fights legal challenges. That happen out of out of our i big. They're not in the news because they they're they're not you know scandalous enough. Although i are you that that they should be Because they really are and they really impact us all but environmental litigation is critical to this fight because we do have laws we have incredible environmental laws if they are implemented if they are used if they're not people who pollute aren't finding workarounds eh. It's wide so important to vote and it's why it's important right now that we're having a conversation about the supreme court justice appointment because every single case every single time something is is not happening the way that it should in the environment as lawyers. We wanna look for a legal or regulatory hook. Something that we can say you broke this law and therefore we wanna stop you. We wanna stop year actions and the law requires that you stop your actions so what. That's what that's meant for us. So far is what that meant Us as the environmental movement and in all of us is that we've been able to stop pollution in waterways. We've been able to stop air pollution. We've been able to Sure that the pesticides that are on our food or actually studied by scientists. These are all things that that corporations don't really want us doing. You know they'd much rather just put out junk and dump wherever they want an end so loyal we have an opportunity to get in there and and challenged that not only challenge that but also challenge an administration. Lets you know a whether it's this administration or other administrations to do the right thing because oftentimes laws around the book. they just. They're just not doing it. They either aren't getting the money they need or they just don't care enough or they're getting pressure against enforcing the laws. So we we bring. We can bring lawsuits that represent people that represent real problems and we can bring about change that is legally enforceable meaning. There's a time line it has to happen. Sadly it takes a while some of these cases take years but every single one of them matters even the ones that may not always be a huge success. Because what we're doing is we're again laying the foundation for future challenges And and actually using our legal system which as as much as as. It's not perfect because it sure isn't that's our conversation for next time is it. There are very much a legal legal consequences to the actions. That are being taken Because the the the laws that were passed to protect our environment or strong. We need to keep them that way. We need to make sure that our congress doesn't weaken them that they're not weakened by this president or the next or the following so our place in that in that equation is to get out there and boat and be aware and be informed in hold our people accountable on all fronts if for in an organization we have to make sure people are accountable. If we're citizens we need to make sure our leaders are accountable. And ideally we need to become leaders so that then we can really make the change. We want to see a right last one more question for you to that what he listened to right now. Well what kind of music you got on your on your phone. We'll too i have. I have a lot of music on my phone right now. I'm finding that. I need it more and more every day You know what What i found. Just i can't tell time these days it might have been yesterday the day before That's really bring me like you know what i'm feeling like. I can't take it salsa as a latina. I can't have started with some. I started with. You be started with some of the more like pop. And which i love i love. I love watching watching a bad bunny a the other day. And i love how these these latin artists are just like again. They're just bringing it and disrupting things and and just changing the norm. I mean it was. It was so awesome. But i love. I love some good salsa. Some great shakira. I'm columbian might my family's columbian So i love. I love my colombian artists. But but i love I mean there's so many artists so many of the artists. I mean look i would walk. All of the listeners should be going straight to all the artists that support hip hop caucus. Because you have some incredible artists. And that's what i love so much. I mean i still go back and listen to that song that common wrote and mine just moved to tears. And it's so to. Music is such an incredible tool for communication. Which is why. I love so much. What what you've done music and culture change the world and our music can bring us up can bring us down but more than anything it can motivate us in can bring us together and that is how we are going to to to mobilize people i want. I loved when we were protesting to have people on the street. Making music plan music in now. How i i'll admit it i. My daughter's really got me into a lot of these. These new New female rappers. Who some might be not safe and work out. But i love. This is not done. You gotta have gotta have fun in this process. Yeah inner she was shoes playing She was playing mo- latte for mega. she's like mom. This song is for you and a little party going on megan selling but this is a gosh. forget her name mowatt. Look at Him i just listen to her this morning mocking song and basically the lyric was. You know i liked. It's basically she's like mama mama so it's not safe for work but i think this what we have this conversation so you can girl got it from my mama. I'm not that's like total like embarrassment. Moment island hopefully soon most people know even though we do this work. We we we we do human. And you gotta have you gotta you gotta have de. You're gonna laugh. You gotta enjoy because you enjoy disliking going to fight for this life amen last question so my last question really goes down to every day we talking about and i guess it kind of goes with wrapping up your career and who you are and kind of goes into this that We've lost so giants like john. Lewis and reuss beta ginsburg and particularly on the court side. You know thurgood marshall and Sources ginsburg literally were fighting with the epitome of fighting for equality and primarily in the twentieth century. Going into this century which we still need to fight for but for you and other attorneys in this are moving. Federal win longer. This fighting for equality will now fighting for existence. And that's a whole different kind of fight fighting for existence. And so i guess you know this your last bit what. What gives you hope as you as you. Now in the twenty first century in that legacy ho what gives me hope. The most i have to say is the energy that i'm seeing from young people today the awareness and frankly it's a given it seems to mostly young people. Today that we need the quality equity energy unified climate. Change that the fact that it's natural to them that that that that to them. Rachel justices is an obvious right. We need that that energy that that they're bringing that awareness inspires me daily and what inspires me as well is the fact that i'm seeing people come together albeit to oppose what has been frankly just complete abuse of of our government in our systems but that unity and that energy gives me a lot of hope Those those giants who we revere in just hold an honor Continue to inspire me as well and i feel responsibility. Some of my hope comes from a sense of duty and a sense of responsibility that we have to deliver on what they all started. You know a mccain. I mean it's so many leaders. I just i. I think i think of say. Dr king is one of those people who inspires me on the daily I find that the struggles of the of the civil rights movement Past and present in hopefully not too far in the future. Because i want to be done now. That inspires me. I know we'll still have future leader than I will be there with them But i just. I'm impatient in. We don't have any more time to waste. We gotta get this done now. When he racial justice now we need climate change solutions clean energy now and It's time to to save this planet for real This is the enforcement of find you. How can they get in conduct review or see more of the work you do over there at yet. definitely could on Twitter not that active on facebook And lincoln as well good place i'm trying to get a bigger I'm trying to be a little more la- posts a little bit more on on instagram. as well. but i can share all those links Adriana q. on twitter and And reached out mean out i will. I will reply if you have questions. Happy always excited to talk to. Two new leaders always excited to learn about what people are doing. So thank you so much for everything you do for being. I'm so grateful for you on so grateful for all the work you do and thank you so much for this. This honor the invitation. Like what you heard on this episode. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Follow us at one hundred climate and hip hop caucus on instagram twitter and facebook. The coolest show dot com where you can take action for climate justice right now you can also learn more about this podcast and donate to fake one hundred percent. We stay nonprofit project fake you for listening and all power to the people.

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Gen to gen?

Teachers Care Society

1:49:12 hr | 4 months ago

Gen to gen?

"The teachers care society in the podcast about all news and development in the educational field and vancouver canada as over discussing regime gaps in costume for both teachers and students without further. Ado assume right all right. Welcome back to these guys is colon middle school teacher from vancouver but columbia canada. And welcome to the show. How you doing hi. I'm doing well thank you. Thank you for having me on. I'm really excited today. It's a pleasure and an honor to have here as it is for me. You breaking even noah. I like most teachers. It definitely was not long enough. Kind of january force rolled around and i was like really arrest. We definitely at least my colleagues. And i felt we needed another week just to catch up because this year has been so different than any other year. I think we've found ourselves a lot more tired and this week was a law enforcer about being a tire so me no work. All weekdays and sleep always both break all weekdays weekends as well. I agree my. It was a lot of catching up on sleep. I definitely missed this year. And especially this time of year. I mean where you are in la. It's very different but in canada gets dark really quick. We don't have a lot of sunlight throughout the day often dreary and that obviously makes it a lot harder to get through the day because it just feels and so officially twenty-one lose anything you're looking forward to ear hopefully the vaccination sort of getting over this whole kovin pandemic and hopefully not having to wear masks because i really feel that it limits a lot of what we do in the classroom and just communication being able to see people again being able to attend weddings again and sort getting back to life. Pre patent pandemic. It's it's going to happen like that. I mean i know. I can at least imagine that the world will be a little different but i am looking forward to a little bit more of normalcy. Hopefully this year yeah here in california california even just the la area as far as the way they're only the vaccine them different. Here's i guess. They pushed the teachers up towards the higher tier. I don't know how it is in canada. As far as the first interesting and i is healthcare workers and basically anyone panin the vaccine and we have a lot of indigenous communities now getting vaccinated as well front line workers in terms of healthcare workers seniors homes. Those sort of populations are getting. I access those i would search your one or two does include teachers. That's not projected to sort of start happening until april for us just depends on how efficient they can be with actually administering everything goes along with it so we shall see i. Don't they really do russia because the next thing is Is the spring break. And so i know a lot of people trump for that too hopefully quickly and then before. I know you should do a lot of these different holidays on a to a first class and i think he had radel reagan did. So i'm i should actually just sort of a little bit so i'm part time teacher on call and then part. I have my own classroom. So i do job share with another teacher so the drill game i did with my class quote unquote do the share with. They are great seven and they didn't. They didn't get the opportunity to really have a lot of the things that they would have normally had in terms of christmas or holiday celebrations that they've had since kindergarten. And when i do sort of the holiday. I do try and kind of d center christmas especially because where i work. The population and the demographics majority of these students don't even celebrate christmas but it is something that is just so push so ingrained in the society that i'm really trying to challenge that this year that happened to look like introducing aspects of and my partner is actually jewish. So it's for me. It's not coming from a place of tokenism or cultural appropriation. I'm able to sort of knew it in a way and with research and with tangible help from my partner who is jewish. And i'm able to get information and how to do it in a respectful way. So the game was something that he and his family taught me. And then i was able to pass that on to migrate sung class. But yes i do as well. And i did have a grade one class that i was covering for two weeks straight. The last two weeks leading to break basically or last few weeks. I should say leading up to break and i brought in this adorable book that i had bought from future children. And it's basically the hungry. The very hungry caterpillar book a spoof on that where the very hungry introduces hannukah. And we also watched an episode where elmo from sesame street's introduces hannukah and just being able to sort of center the assumption. That christmas is what the holiday is. I mean unfortunately. Our calendars do work. Sort of around. That assumed celebration timeline. For lack of a better way to say that so in any way that i can sort of skew the narrative or taken office like decentral christmas. I try and do that in. Yeah so that's that was what i did before break to try and kind of get away from the christmas craze that a lot of other teachers just kind of fall back on them and just it's it's hard explaining china's christmas i know on today society commercialism might presidents give gifts and all that but i try. Try and teach mike. Y'all friends always. Christmas means i try to other holidays as well or even trying to be Like neutral i'll just say happy holidays. I enjoy your winter break because not everyone does celebrate christmas. Like you said that's cool partner. introduce introducing the game. Then yeah so he has kind of. I mean we've been together for almost six years now. And he has kind of brought me in and allowed me to be a part of the space purchase narrative traditions. And i've learned over the years. And i am fortunate enough to be able to have that knowledge to then bring into the classroom but like you said i do the same thing i say. Happy holidays judah do try and keep it very neutral very sort of open. Poppy winter break winter break and just sort of making seasonal rather than attachment to a holiday again rain reunion hana car whatever is divulje celebrations earlier in the fall and so bringing in narratives are not maybe as centralized traditionally central for these students part of their lives. It's part of their traditions. And what they're going home to do so. I think it's super important. Try and bring those in as often as possible and doing so in a very respectful way. So that it's not tokenistic. Not done in a culturally appropriate manner because that would be obviously the worst way. If you're gonna do something obviously and guess in your classroom by backing off earlier. So holiday card anti-saddam happy nomination. All holidays and i liked to celebrate. Whatever holiday tradition that they may be and even then you talked about this. Even i mean classroom. Were most used christmas. The thin hallmark classroom. There's all these christmas decorations everywhere. And i think he took advantage of that opportunity to sure just the other different narratives that there are other holidays besides christmas. Can you tell me a little more about that thought process. I mean first of all. I was very proud of myself because i figured out how to get emoji version of on my computer and me these little cards and they said happy nondenominational holidays and it was the way that i was able to these kids a little candy with them. That was part of the game so they got a little piece of candy. Go along kind of remember what we did but then also to take that home intel alert families like a little bit. I learned today. Yes thought process for me in terms of bringing the idea denomination holidays is just trying to make sure that the way teach the way that i behave in the classroom models inclusive behaviors label demonstrates to these kids. Look at how you can be welcoming and accepting of so many different celebrations holidays or lack thereof. If people don't celebrate as well and this is a way to do that we'll still feeling festive and excited for a break even if it does bloom all around what holiday more than the other the other cool myself back recently. Your classroom with the among us characters and I'm new to this out of our previous guests. I still hard time trying to keep up with an amusing quotation marks. Here like their quotes. What's cool in. It's hard for me to keep up today. I mean how do you. How do you keep up with trends. What school within hip. I think the fact that. I am a newer teacher and i'm still quite young. It helps so much more because older teachers are still just figuring out things that they weren't necessarily a part of with their teaching experience for the past ten fifteen twenty twenty-five years things like zoom for them not as a huge milestone whereas because i'm still young i'm like i'm onto. I'm on instagram. I see people's trends and with the memes are there and shakes whatever it is as for among us. Yes i actually calling creates these hits among us characters. Little hassans festive costumes. The among character. Wearing i new of among us. And i knew all these kids are obsessed and especially my grade sevens. And that's all they talk about. So of course. I downloaded the game. Kamina figure out what this is and where i can put it into lessons and i still don't understand the game figuring definitely not my cup of tea. Nevertheless this is a way for me to connect with them and be able to take something that was super trendy and be like. Hey i'm cool too. I think on some level. There's an appreciation there from these. Hey she's trying even though it's probably super embarrassing for them trying and i train kind of keep the transit. it's also something and i'm inevitably a part of just because of my age head. You playing the game. Mungo comes in what you're doing on on on this is for research do lesson planning scrolling through. Oh i was doing an inquiry big special now but last year. I did a fourth grade. I incorporated writing prompts like our morning. Morning did a lot of writing and was my opportunity to be the cool teacher. And i would. What i thought was the most up-to-date like interesting prom for example. the mandalorian was big. Our still is but was on the mandolin for mandalorian. First came out or like apex which is available if you show me the new idea where they are your topics for your journal. Journal writes responses so a lot of my history of education both for education program as well. As my undergraduate i started specifically indigenous histories decolonization and specifically colonization in education. And i know that's a big responsibility as a guest on the land. And i'm on so i am on the territory of the muslim people's which i i mean i could talk about this for hours. Hours won't but essentially this land stolen land. It's never been treated doesn't have any sort of legal bias to be on by settlers so that sort of frames a lot of wise. I do in my classroom and a lot of the work that i do on this land so circle as you kind of mentioned actually indigenous pedagogy basis circle is something that i do every morning with my grade sevens and i would i would but i do train introduce that when i see appropriate or there's time in any other class that i teach circle pedagogy to me kind of where we set the stage for our journal. Proms and we have really in depth conversations. They start super low floor so basic things that just getting to know the kids just building community building connection. You know if you won the lottery. What would you buy if you could fly anywhere. Where would you go at the beginning of the earth. You know these very fun questions. And then we kind of build a built up and we build trust and we built community through that and then halfway through the year. We kind of get more provoking thought provoking questions controversial questions and then by the end of the year. We usually have really in-depth intense circus last longer than our ones in september. Do because we're talking about serious issues of controversial issues. And i can't mention that in the north of p comment to what happened this past week in your country in the states and everything capitol hill and everything so for example. I didn't unfortunately teach the following morning. This next tweet. When i do i will be brain into circle with my students with my grade. Sevens and having a discussion about that encircle and then we'll see journal you kind of asking about and they'll have to redo some reflection they'll have to do some big thinking work based on what we talk about so. It's almost like circle as scaffolding for these journals not to say that we always do really intense really reflective journal pro. Sometimes there are a lot of fun but it also just got some to think and be critical thinkers and thinkers about where they stand especially if they're just starting to kind of decide or identity and with the believe in what they're passionate about age is such a crucial time to introduce these ideas through journaling journal as well as you mentioned. I do try and kind of bring in things that are popular. Used the mandalorian. So i'm sure had. I started with classes say in january rather than september. I probably would have started off with the low floor stuff being among us or whatever else is popular but we are at a point in the year where we're talking about a little bit more serious stuff now so in my journal prompts is not always i guess trendy things i think. I include that in math and other other areas. I wouldn't say my journal responses so much. Stay super trendy. I don't know. I think i think journaling is a very important space for that. I should also mention that. When i do get my kids to journal. It's not just essay style. They aren't required to just you know right is that doesn't work for them. So i try and create points for all of my students. Where is writing is not something that they are amazing. That's okay. They can draw the doodle they can web. They can mind map. Whatever it's gonna work for them to get out there their ideas to show me what they know. How steel that's more important to me than the actual journaling quote unquote a you'll get. It's a nice smooth transition. As opposed to starting off on day one writing pumps gene. How do we end. Racism light hearted writing level as well. I'll bow was also on the news and rose or social injustice. Whatever me like maybe. The passing of an idol is so bringing up in the classroom. Because sometimes i mean even for my particular community if it isn't talking sometimes only around at home or absolutely the the home environment when he talked about foster kids as well. So yeah. Because i do believe by you. Know if he don't say anything don't mention it and sometimes you do end up. Doing more harm is rushing under the rug. And you're in a way saying it's not important enough the privileged also to be able to do that to me like you know what i'm not going to talk about it because it doesn't affect our classroom much or whatever it is and you as the teacher you have the privileged or you may have shouldn't make generalization to privilege to do that the sweep it under the rug and that is not the reality for a lot of our students so we need to model how to deal with that out of those conversations especially when they're difficult conversations. What does that look. What does respectful listening. Look like. how can you talk about two very different issues. Very opposing sides and still do so in a calm and respectful way. What does that look like. And these are the skills that they need to be learning in schools because like you said not all of them are able to get those perspectives from home for all over. I mean sometimes political stances will get in the classroom. You might agree with one person or you might be one side of the table and they might be on the eve or something. Like maybe the unfortunate. Brian most were who he was and i tried to like all right. Maybe if he didn't like him or maybe another player is better than him. Still sad day that castaway and we lost a husband a father there. How do we deal with. How do we processed these feelings always. You're always teacher. You're always doing worth might be invisible to some probably not even like these kids aren't even aware and they might never be aware even as adults like the that the work we are doing is building these skills able to process these difficult things in their life. So i think we do that on a daily basis and you're right when they're example passing of an idol like this is something that affects more younger age. I because it's an idol known in will help them for when they are older and closer to them passes and because they've already built hug is muscle memory but this sort of idea and process of how to do that. were in their minds. Ask well topping. That's bridging the generation gap and so basically Simplified version of cleaners generation. Gap is like the age gap between each generation and with each generation. They have a different outlook on opinions. Believe skills attitude and even behavior unsturdy. We've all heard that phrase all in my days we not do blah blah blah blah blah. And so the quickest so you have a gi generation which is nineteen hundred to nineteen twenty four and then after that is the silent generation of traditionalists which things no one thousand nine hundred five thousand nine hundred and forty five fast forward a bit to the baby boomers. Nineteen forty six to nineteen sixty four. Then we have the era. My parents generation x. On the thirteen years. I think they call them. So the sixty five to nineteen seventy nine and then we have. The millennials are generation y. Which is from nineteen eighty to the late. Nineteen nineties fast forward to where we are today which is on the student teaching the generations. The euro the genuine or the centennials Basically late nineteen nineties to the two dozen. So which would you describe yourself. As i would say i mean just i was born on the cost of the millennial gen z talking about date nineteen ninety-six how ab- for i've always been sort of an old soul and so i don't know necessarily if a generation like don't love generational terms as definers because i feel like they kind of offer space to make generalizations or assassinations about what it means to be a part of that generation. So i think. There's a lot of stigma. That surrounds millennials gen z. There's a lot of stigma and slang recently threaded. You know the boomer generation. Or i think what did you call them phyllis. Perhaps i don't know if that applies to the traditionalist or the generation either way. There's been a lot of sort of sly and stigma surrounding these generations. And i almost feel like it's a little more trouble matic health. It's hard these divisions and they're so emphasized as as so much of our cultural capital right now. Which i find really interesting and i don't know enough or have an. I haven't read enough critiques. To know sort of the arguments against personally. I just find the this generation separator terms to be a little bit limiting. That's just me when i saw. I love the eighties in the nineties. Own millennial generation y. And so the three of history in today's age have different types of generating inside each other's teachers. You're younger which is great So i mean anymore. Elite communication between the different generations of teachers and the students were teaching our part of gen z and nineteen ninety two dozen tens and so basically born this world things that they have. Nowadays they consider just the basics of the twenty century on and most of the stuff is pretty new technology. People think like these really powerful now in multiple things touchscreen on the dick act as a camera of the web browser digital storage. You know poor transition video calls on your these phones all these things and now it seems normal to the new generation and so it's crazy to think that even powerful enough to the on the go and i definitely see situations were maybe instead of bringing your laptop or your tablet icees marine their smartphone. Pretty much does whatever they need to do for to be for you from being productive because too much for everything so yeah there's all these milestones are being muslims but the new generation to see enormous with these milestones are the new normal gen z. Some negative effects of gen z might experience We didn't use some negative effects. An about gen z. You with all his technology. I just want to start off by saying. I think that happens in every generation. There's these huge leaps in technology at least one part of generation is going to be born into and it's going to be there seemed normal and regardless there's always going to be the older generation that has an not everyone in the older generation. But there are gonna be people part of the older generation who has issues or struggles to understand that but specific to gen z. The only real things that is noticed is sort of an. It's only because i'm comparing multi schooling experience to. There's which i don't necessarily always work emend because we're dealing with two very different times. But the only difference that i've really seen is in writing the actual quality of writing on paper with a pencil or pen and physically writing letters. The printing quality has just disintegrated from what i was going to school and their ability to actually form a sentence without having the health of dictionaries and the sources on the computer. They don't wanna look in the book like school and not having the automatic. Autocorrect sell checking their fingertips so lever with the said. Yes christina's going down. Actual physical writing is getting messier and it looks. They're just not able to do it as well. They really struggle. That might just be something that eventually phase hour eventually the new normal might be. We don't have to rely on that and as much as we might think that. That's super important in a life skill. Like oh you have to learn to write. You have to learn how to write. Well you're writing. Has to be like when i went to school. You had to learn cursive writing nobody. It might stop you the reality for these students and the jobs that they're gonna have in the future may never need to use so to kind of force. What maybe we have certain expectations in her. Mind if what printing writing his look like that might not be practical to prepare them for their future. And i think we really need to challenge our assumptions and our narratives around that it's well last year. I was doing an inquiry in question. Originally and because i was so stubborn in this mindset and i said how can i make my kids at our printing. How can i make their like actual letters. Neater this great six seven like they should know how to write a paragraph initiative. Look easy enough to read. And it should be properly formatted and all these things and i really soon as we run online because we had to go into lockdown in quarantine or whatever and we switched on teaching i had to really take a step back and look at my inquiry and kind of go. This is not going to work. it's not it's reality. it's not our reality in the world right now. There's no point in investigating this because it just does not set up for success. And i really needed to challenge. What i had always assumed was really important to me to say this is not about me is about the kids. What is going to help them succeed in their future from her so negative. Yes sure. There are some at the same time. It just depends on how you look at it right is what is the reality is it negative or is it just negative in our mindset. You're right home person anymore when you sign. Legal documents on automakers could be digital now. They might not ever have to really need to know that they might just need to learn signature and that might look so different than what we kind him know it. S now is unbelievable writing things like the go to the grocery store and you use a credit card their cars. I mean. I really old mattress in your practice. Somethings i've noticed and these are generalizations. Nana apply to everybody but gen z notice college students even some high schoolers the email the professor of the he turned and basically instead of reading the syllabus. We'll just ask question Even though they could have found the answer if five minutes or whatever's on the syllabus or whatever documented the advance and same thing as well going students last. Do i really need to do. We really need to do this. Always trying to add fully. La oh instead of and benji is can rewrite eight pages relating can we do a double faced kindly shortcuts and even with professors or teachers. That are used to teaching with presentations. It's just not enough anymore. Students who are more than wonderful as gauge something. That might seem like ten minutes. Might be too long now again. The digital world. We're living in everything. Everyone wants to the information fast. All ten minutes away too long. Gen z might be described as inpatient and selfish. Kinda being. they have some sort of entitlement and again. It's just a generalization. Does everybody but you know one of the biggest changes a scene. When i was in elementary school was the faculty. Figures wouldn't sources when we heard our narrative writing king time proofreading one of the we proofreading process. So i had to go the dictionary and find were called riot using the correct word as well or if i had words i repeat it too much. Go to the forest and fine words. Yeah now nowadays. Last year the past few years last year kids have chromebook the dictionaries authorities all. This is art. even just. that's all in house and the chromebook or whatever device. They're using dangerous. Butch will were completely rule. Come out with janine this and what are some challenges that you've seen from your elementary school. Now teaching the elementary kids. Now i actually just went on before. I get to that part of the question. I actually just want to encourage you to challenge the way that you're thinking specifically about gen z and the the word short. Because i think what and this is just my opinion and you can take it as you'd like but i think gen z is actually getting really good at doing things more efficient and that is again like i said before that is their reality. They are finding the most efficient way to do what is being asked. And i don't necessarily think problematic. And i think that they are trying to not necessarily shortcut but do what their ass and have that information like you said it comes to them really quickly. So why would they not expect from their teachers and professors. Why would benefit them to go through the longer route to read through the entire syllabus and they know that they can get an answer quicker by taxi or easily whatever the professor teacher getting the answer and what or while. They're waiting for the answer. They can go do something else. Whether it's wash dishes take charlotte. Whatever right they are able to fit more of what they need to do in a day and less time because they are making the world more efficient. If it wouldn't. I would argue that. It's not necessarily yes. Some kids definitely do this. He'd be a little bit of laziness. Don't don't disagree with that. At all. But i think that exists for everyone and not just stays generations and i think that everyone can have lazy but yeah i think they're just really making efficient world through civic of the biggest changes that lots of the questions of the biggest changes that i've seen since elementary school like i said i mean we don't use anymore like we don't use dictionaries into sources and actual books for having to look through all these pages to find this one word to find words go off or definition or whatever and i feel like okay. This is the reality. Is there life. They found or we have found a better way to do this. A quicker way to do this frees up more time to do so many other things in the world and we're crossing faster and faster because we're able to really sort of scale down the time. It takes us to do tasks. Really intriguing to me. As an educator. And i'm sure many educators would concur. I mean biggest changes deficiencies huge win. How kids play. I'm going to definitely change. Simply because clay now is more device oriented than it is creative with nature. That is something. I would like to see a little bit more balanced. And i'd love to see kids maybe using the taxes they are so well versed in to be able to find out things about the natural world and go and experience it in new and different ways. I'm sure there's many axel bear that exists. I have yet assigned really good ones from really good resources to introduce them. But there i mean i'm pretty app developers out there make it really addicting for kids like pokemon go few years a brilliant thing ever it. Got people out of the house in fresh air going to different parks that maybe they had never been before and really taking advantage of the nature and the world around them and people were contacting inch. You know people were talking getting excited together about the same things that was this disruption in this narrative of of certain device centered play and that was amazing to see but obviously cova almost reverse scared to go out and there's more people staying in training connections than really lost over the past year so again. These are things that are just yearly changes very different from what i went to school for sure but i think any and every generation can say that they've learned different and i think every year something changes so someone who's in grades seven right now. We'll see that. The great sixes are learning differently. It can be applied to every age. The fact that on how even i do this finding the most effective way to do this was quicker achieving or whatever the asking smarter not harder that's mongo. I liked that that was a big thing when it first came out just a bit off topic came came out and i told my neighbor low. I have a dog come on. Let's go around the block. And he rejected me. And then while. I out walking my dog i see him walking alongside with me. And he's doing mungo. Turn me down getting fresh air and walking my dog but instead he wanted to do the mongo all he can do in that mind facing and that's better than nothing right to take some. I didn't take plane. Getting planes in frank connecting are thinking that we are doing something fun but also for our soul mental for for me. The biggest difference from when i was in school to now teaching elementary students is the differences in languages and uses and access to technology and even just attitude towards life so things never change so we have a hierarchy of needs Still saying my students so need food water loves you know all that the soon still want a few connected and engaged with community but just looks a lot different now most of its digital the digital world and so the big challenge that i see a crime schools and the curriculum the teaching methodologies they serve the means of the previous generation presents the future generation trying to plan ahead an not my foles educators. The certain things take longer to change always textbooks Take a lot longer to change. I do see the argument. Maybe e books or e textbooks much weaker or immediately Even standards standards take a long time to change as well and so. Many students don't feel bored and traditional. They don't identify with the content or even the teachers are frustrated because trying to keep their student engage would content or with their learning style that they know just hasn't connected generation gap right. There have you ever his title lesson or maybe content that utah that you phone outdated and you saw. The students interested in is not working as nuts. Not for them. I wouldn't say dated. But i mean i'm definitely taught lessons where you know. It's friday afternoon and the kids are not fair enough and you kind of do that self assessment in the moment in kind of step back and be like okay. They're really check out. This is not going to happen today. We need to try it again. Next week four. Try in a different way to kind of engage them in a different way that immediate for meta cognitive reflective thinking like okay. What am i doing is this working. Is this working. is everybody getting. Is this kid who has important needs that kid. Who has these different needs. Are they on board the gauge. You have to constantly be going through that sort of in your mind to make sure it's a lot of energy and it's a lot of work. It's something that we do teachers. We need to do to make sure that the lessons don't dated her point for the kids and they can say engage and stay in love with learning. I was gonna say something else Just looking over the question to it's all also for textbooks. I mean i don't know what it's like in every seat or every province here in canada specifically in my teacher education program textbooks were kind of seen as something like be careful. If you decide to use being not necessarily frowned upon. They're not really used anymore or or suggested to use in the classroom we have a. We were taught focused more on getting kids to do most of their critical thinking. And they're only research schnur own inquiry online because again that's reality. That's they're using every single day. It's like do we do that. Well how do we make sure that. They're being critical the information that they're seen checking their forces and finding a different perspectives and different. Bruce of whatever it is and textbooks are really not used anymore however when an older teacher has been teaching with a textbook for so many years. It is very easy. And i can see this. I mean it would just be so easy to be like. I know i'm doing page twenty six today. I know. I'm showing up. And this is what i'm going to say and i don't even have to think about my job anymore. This is amazing. And i'm sure that's the might and and the ease when you've got so much else going on in your life of course that's efficiency in its own sort of sense however textbooks like you said they don't change that's enough and often textbooks are like education in general but a little bit more so are sort of produced to convey specific message kind of show more than the other. I've seldom seen a textbook that offers many different perspectives. same issue or different telling so the same histories. I haven't really seen. That made exists out there but i feel like digital resources are replacing the textbooks at least in my experience and i don't know if it's like states him by yeah i just don't see something that are going to exist for very long either cutting down trees and then maybe last six years and older teachers use them for twenty when they be and yeah i just i see everything shifting online so i think yeah i mean outdated if teachers texans kiss onus really know any different stuff to your teacher. Does they might be like a little confused. I don't know that's how i sort of see more digital. I'm in the firm and choosing digital or hard copy for hard copy but transition to digital teaching a student. I like the digital was a teacher. I do like the hard copy and mattis. 'cause i guess i'm calling out the the publishers but a lot of cares. Lots of sticky knows cross off for example for. Math is no longer. we no longer call improper actions. But it's called fresh grade than the one. So i put it to make sure i stayed active. The text books on it might become outdated because there. I had no idea they were called fractions more than one is. That is not something. I've heard yet but i'm going to make note of that. That's very interesting. No longer call improper fraction. So what's what's improper about this young generations of teachers which i appreciate so we have those professionals they come over the years really mastered from user experience and then you have the younger generation. I would describe him having his new teasers. Rose new ideas have all his energy. you know as a principal you want the best of both worlds radio from the from two different generations from the experience and then your teacher and can can sometimes clash and i know during this pandemic over sunday experienced teachers. Felt like you just because they might have felt like the end to start from scratch not have been so tech savvy and there's one teacher might be independent sometimes like veterans they. Don't they want to do things our own way. Because they've been doing it for the longest time then on the other side of the as unexplained any teachers Often distressed because they're trying to forgot everything has to go. And so i see how can clash of. I'm really grateful that my district and even the community is only diverse and as far as in gender and sexual orientation all odds. But we're also verse in the different generations that we have and it really gives me a chance to learn from the best and you know because i do big the brains of the older teachers and they have some great ideas when you consider your school diverse industries like the different generations specific to the school in currently i am one of the only new deters that has an a little bit problematic. Also because i'm super passionate. And then i can't shut up even try to do but it's definitely more an older crowd however i'm my partner and i are moving. Which means i moving into a new district and a new school very soon Just about over a month. So i have no idea what to expect there but i know a lot of younger teachers who are teaching in district and i'm looking forward to having near support around my age more mentorships clothing that there is some more young teachers. And like you said. I do enjoy working. Missiles pitches as an old saw. I've always with people older than me. Anything there are some amazing master teachers out there who can be so so so so important for us new teachers and such virtue in such an important resource for us to access. And they've you know if you have a problem. They've probably been through it. I can guarantee you. They've dealt with everything there. Those amazing master teachers who you can just ask near there to support. You is almost any problem with maybe like we talked about the exception of certain aspects but then again there are those teachers who've been around for a long time and like you said just like to stick in their ways and not really do that continual learning and relearning and learning that. You need to do the teacher in order to stay relevant politically correct. Quite frankly with your students in order to teach some faculty. You really need to be open. Even when you've been teaching twenty five thirty years and you close to retirement. And i can understand sort of that apathy and i don't wanna say because they don't want to be rude but at the same time that's sort of like you know what i'm doing this long enough. I know what i'm doing. I'm good at what i'm doing and not making that space to do. The really difficult work of learning and bring in new ideas is frustrating. Because the teachers who do that get really. Secondly don't have they don't make the opportunity to see the wonderful things that can come up out of these young new fresh ideas that are maybe a little bit too eager but if we put them with their tried and true experience we can create magic. And i think it becomes a little problematic when their teachers to serve. Shut the door space. So i know you only asked me north. I just wanted to put that out there. So i guess he's another history lesson so a fun fact about the decision about like teaching force so data from the past thirty five years so the last grade period of teaching hiring colonel like the late nineteen sixties and early nineteen seventies is in which more than half the this is in the us or more than half the teaching teachers so that means the ten ten years or less of experience and fast word fifteen years later like hundred eighty six. This group of new teachers Was still representing the majority of these new making the veteran teachers and is still accounted for the majority of roughly for forty percent. And there's a few teachers being hired. Few new teachers hired one. Where in the same corner teachers. They're reaching towards that time whereas retire and this led to the beginning of a new era. Where new coming in to get hired and now does nicole on. Teachers has become the largest segment of the teaching force. So what does it mean so. Basically i mean. As far as your is in a lot of hiring of new teachers and interviews there's teacher shortages Particularly in subject areas special ed or math science or even bilingual and again so teachers are staying the workforce even longer and there's a retirement a much later asian so if i talk recently about this even my teacher preparation or my credential program there is a mix of older and younger adults had teacher candidates words. That were came from another profession or they one of them was in the military came to do this and so several of them were over the the thirty year age range thirty years old but yeah it was a nice thing. Fresh faces from the young twenty to twenty one year olds. Anals the nice thing. The older older teachers. So when you did your credential program Reserved mix of the new and old. Yes i think less. What percentage would you say yours. Looks like so a tina my credential program and one to thirty plus four twenty seven plus everything. I think everyone else's Twenty s saddam. Yeah okay yeah. No i would. We had a lot of young students in mind. We had a group of thirty six. We were the middle school cohort. Fi self regulated learning cohort. We had some older adults. Some certain late twenties early thirties and a lot of freshly undergrad grass. I think it was a really good mix. We had this amazing group. And i'm really sad that we didn't get to sort of experience whole year together because of covid in the way that we are so stupid but it was. It was quite the right. It's a for me anyway. It was an eleven month. Condensed for who you're doing sort of what would be a four year degree program in the same amount of credits. Condensed into eleven months and it was super expedited. And we're all on this rollercoaster ride together and really brought us close and it was. It was wild. But i think having a mix of older more in this scenario. We're calm dolts. Who was very helpful in balancing youngins. Who were kind of freaking out a little bit. So that sounds like so. My program is nice. 'cause you can be an undergraduate be postgraduate so this is a very competitive. Like how by verse was your. You didn't have to do then gave like a four year. Or whatever undergraduate i could go into this haram as you're sort of your one fresh on highschool the happen. Yes an undergraduate and you still do all your work in you just continue into your operation. Program probably is labeled an undergraduate and so for those who financially when you graduate student. It's the more expensive as opposed to staying as an undergraduate student so there was a benefit for those did continue as an undergraduate financial aid wasn't affected because on paper. You're still undergraduate student. So that's what i did So credential program. So i what would be done in. Four years turned had done in two years and it was two years definitely sense. The question i often year from my teacher friends students the middle and high schools asking. Here's why for so long. Why didn't you ever do something when they retire. Why didn't you want to do in your principal and freeze. Generation of teachers really wanted to focus on their careers basically being better teacher in the classroom and so most of them never really sought the administration route moving on up in the ranks. And so then you have the new generation of teachers. And i think kind of just looking for the most effective way and quickly trying to move on my. How can i get from here to here here. My my bathurst masters and a doctor is going to be principal. Or maybe professor. Trying to the quickest way possible and i know teacher georges. There's competitive especially with the customer being expensive in certain states. You want to move up. He on to higher position that higher paying job insecurity and they're fast tracks options as well. We're teacher candidate doesn't go. Maybe the traditional route. And there's even like these emergency credentials are these alternatives of pathways program. Was done in two years instead of four years. I yeah it was great to great job security credentials because for me. I felt like. I had the best of both worlds. I taught in gen and i can know how to integrate sped students sped. I can really teach push him for the integration in the classroom. Those my reasoning for doing that but not only did i say money as well competitive edge back your university of different like credential all the different pathways to credential on different ways to be the teacher so i actually has. I didn't undergraduate degree at one university. And then i had three different universities. Were close enough to where. I was living To be able to choose which. When i wanted to do from teacher education program and i was fortunate enough fat. I really couldn't get into all of them which was amazing. It was because really up to me. So the one that i ended up doing was at the university of columbia which is in vancouver. The city that i'm now living in and it was the eleven months super expedited super finance program. And i did it for the same reasons that you did to just sort of make has officiant possible. It was yes. It was a grueling. Just as yours your were and to save the money of the longer. You're in of your pain for living and not in money right and so that competitive edge like you said feed as he debt into the job market sastre. However in retrospect the other two the other two universities were sixteen months lungs who still fairly condensed. But just a little bit longer. And in retrospect financially maybe wouldn't have been the best decision but for mental health and just the opportunities that i think i could have gotten i has been in. One of the programs would have been better but as for career paths in the one that was in at the university of bir climber. Ub it was kind of the one that i got into only posts agree programs. You had to have some sort of undergraduate degree. I in ordered following an ample amount of experience was related to education some way that went through a long process In terms of acceptance and boards and whatever it had to go through for those applying with just experience the essays they had to kind of prove all their qualifications in different ways where it was really easy. You had an undergraduate degree with teachable subjects. It was kind of a no lie. You've got an no problem and they make it sound super competitive and whatever but as you mentioned there's tears shortage and people are districts are desperate so of course you're going to get into the program and when you get into the program. Everyone freaks out of like pass. Like i don't wanna be no get to the end and then not graduate in have to do it again whenever everybody has pretty much with the exception of maybe a handful and that's just because a real concern for everyone passes and it's really not as competitive as they make to me just because we're so i for teachers which is disappointing because real. It'd be great. The market was competitive. Because then you'd have to be the best at your job and the incentive to work harder and to be better no more to be the best. Whatever was that you were teaching And that would be ideal for career. Pathways it was kinda just either. Undergraduates teachable subjects or a lot of experience that has improved and sort of showcased to the accepting board knowing what you did Knowing how it all came out in the program would you do it all over again. I would probably try this month long one piece of mine but i. I'm very grateful. Dhabi the opportunities that i did and to meet the amazing people that i did and my fellow colleagues down no i i love them and i wouldn't. I wouldn't probably obviously sacked. I wouldn't do it any other way. I was very grateful. And i made a lot of important connections. This was fantastic. I'm very lucky senses. Well style for. I don't know the same crew that ride together a nice. There are extreme cases. Were you might not like it. Might not like a person and you're stuck with them for a long time. Most of the time it's a you're in you're all going through the same stress and the thing claims struggles. Yeah knows that you don't get along with that really challenge. You have a lot of patients days especially when you've been in class together for eight hours on last class and they're just really pinching your nerves and just here sort of last straw. It's it's what we can learn from those opportunities about ourselves as human beings especially about how it's going to be sort of a window to the future as a teacher. It's kinda like we really don't get along with who's really taking off. Monday is going to be in a classroom with some kid. Who's just on your lasts turf going to react. How are you going. And even though it's it's a fellow adults in this scenario who is in the exact same program issue. You know it's supposed to same sort of maturity level as you and not a kid. Evidently this will be a situation that you have to cross in the future is. How are you going to handle it. So yes there are people that you're not gonna get along with but it's how you have and i'm sure you had people like that too in your cohort. My favorite person used to my cohorts and the way when i did like that there is different generations. A candidate there. I know gen. Z is about a very fast life. And so there's constant changes and i know when i attended college. I was like oh what your major is going to be years in a student changes in two to three times while it's kind of the same thing now with the teachers you know it turns out like thirty. Four percent of to computers have so they come in the feel of education from a previous Field and are different background and so he can eat taking guests. Majority's career changes were. These teachers are coming from. I actually don't know what. I'm just trying to think of the careers of the older people who are in my cohort who are older where they came from and i want to say. I don't know what you'd call it necessarily desktop dirtier and your we had a lot. He's doing like sort of human resource type work. And i think their intention was that they were supposed to be working with people. An end up in the cubicles and they just really felt unfulfilled so then tweeted education. Be working people every single day. It was probably the most natural. But again i don't know that was only specific my in light me what. What was it. S pretty much on the right track business. So burs teachers saying the change of pace and so just Usually when it's time for the new school year Basically what happens is the teachers have been there the longest a they which grade you wanna be in Unforced sometimes it's the new hires or the new teachers coming in often getting bunched together because the teachers have been the longest they have. I pay usually together within the same grade. So for example. When i first got hired heels all the lower grade there were open open vacancies so that needed to be hired principle. I really think they should try the veterans. And i know i mentioned before again trying to get the best of both worlds and so i think a really good way to having teachers observe each other and i mean that planning time i know teachers. We have a lot on our plate. And so there's a time after this. I have to do that. And then you have my life outside of school after my children. Have these allegations as well The the preschool. I really did like that. The principal offered having the teachers have a day off paid off to go observe another teacher that was. I really liked the idea because really learn from other teachers. Instead of carving time out of your busy schedule to collaborate with other teachers maybe you're non-contract hours getting paid to do it. But in this case scenario the principal to take the day off and go go observe another teacher. She would encourage observe another teacher at a different school site. Start something that. I really enjoyed because there was no pressure till i you have to do this. This all within. I guess contract hours. The collaboration with teachers i not in a position. I'm currently in unfortunate. I'd love it to be more last year. I'm working in an elementary school this year. So it's keita. Seven in this district but in the district. I was in a different district last year. And we actually at a middle school model so six hundred and eight and in that six seventy th school. We had a designated time that the principal might have gone beyond was him. Iverson's gone beyond the principal and might have been a district thing where the was actually scheduled injure. Timetable is part of your prep time. And we had a block and free single day. We would sit down with the teachers in our what was called a pod so for us. It was about six classrooms and all. The teachers sat down together. And we're like. Hey what do you do in this week. What do you want me to do here. what can i do to help. Let's plan this. Let's food this altogether on friday or whatever it was and it was so much coal it was the fastest ever and i would highly recommend us there any principles looking to make their school. A little bit more cohesive have a little bit better community is something so important and integral and not having to do that like you said outside of contract hours is important and it makes the school education quality goal beyond. Because there's always going to be a teacher who really specializes in something. And if they have a gift that they can share with the other classes with other teachers and other teachers are able to take on. We are going to have the best education. Because you're getting expertise from all of these amazing funds of knowledge. Which would be incredible. Yeah so i mean. Collaboration is probably the most valuable tool that can be instilled in the timetable. And i totally agree with you. I think it's super super important. This unfortunate though that you said kind of all younger levels for mt and vacant further why. Why do you think that is happening. Generalize all teachers as we get older. Maybe our patient runs thin and so the younger grades do patients and the veteran teachers did like the left and led the kindergarten and first grade would be maybe the for the newer teachers because they have that energy and makes sense. I just wanted to also respond to the business that teachers who were going through creatures from business. I find that really intriguing. And i wonder maybe after the podcast you can email me the source or the study or wherever that came from his really like tarita. Because this is to me. I feel like it's such an independent. Nothing you don't rely on networking and other people but you really able in business to just take initiative and be the best of the best if that is what you are striving for whereas in education at least in public school you are limited by so many different other bodies and certain grievances and aspects of the union or or the setup itself. I'm surprised that people who are in business and able to sort of decide with their own success was decide with their own schedule. Look likely in teaching. You don't have freedom. You don't have a choice. i'd be really curious to know the why behind. Maybe there's something. I can research more after but yes. I found that really intriguing. So yeah why is usually businesses independence like you said but usually in one area so you in a desk conference room. Yeah you do travel back and forth maybe a little bit from one area to another one side of the officer known as far as the said they were looking for a change of pace Because teachers no matter what age group. You're win over the little one. The young one over the other ones even the older ones Even the only ones that keep you on your feet mentally asking that. We're not talking about like business in terms of entrepreneurship. Because in that sense you would probably more business. Okay that makes sense. I know earlier. I was talking about the differences. When i was teaching when i was an free now teaching an elementary the source of the dictionary having chromebooks crumble. Clunky i think macbooks think called all. We had a designated area. We had to go to the crash on the stay on the lines and be quite an always analysis car in the back of the room but the thing is you have access to information all the time it's an media i always try to cise Since the number one of the top of the glue might not be the most accurate or the most reliable basically with the most relevant or with the most And so i really try and drive that home especially when john has research project service projects all right just to make sure you're aware where the information is coming from mixture. It's reliable and so that was one of the main things. I wanted to teach free. I guess even your kills careful. they've formation that you receive whether it's tv online or wherever maybe be aware might not be true. Be careful and where it's coming from. It's really easy to just tell them that but what we really need to do is to show them how to figure that out from this for themselves you know. Build those skills in their mind. Those processes able to critically think for themselves and be able to kind of look at things. Okay is this real. How do i know who you know. Who's writing and why is it being published. Where is it being published. All these different criteria that one can look through to determine maybe just the validity of something but also one's own opinion about it do. Do i agree with this person. Do i have other starts or am. I just reading the rhetoric and assuming that it's cracked so as much as i don't tell them i really try and work it into my lessons for them and has sort of criteria like did you check your sources prove to be the you know why this article or this source is here who is publicness. Why are they publishing. Like what are they benefitting right. Our media and wet information we get unglued. Yes it's an algorithm but it's also a business because you are able to pay for that stop spot on google everything in the world this made partner says it's very much his catchphrase. Everything in the world is a business. Everything has to do with money and unfortunately is just sort of the repercussion of existing in a capitalist society. and that's where we are in the global north when we system not to say that we can't challenge it for inside but anyway it's a whole hers pay for those top spot on google. And i want my kids to know that so we do a lot of work to have them understand like okay just because it's here. An accessible to me does not mean correct. Somebody's trying to sell that information. Who is an widely. What is the motive body. So there is this website and i going to have to bring up. Otherwise i'm not going to get it correct but it's the truth with a a tree octopus. Let me just quickly bring up my online education is where is it here. It is saved the pacific northwest tree octopus. And it's this website. And i did it with my great summonses sierra and they were too quick they were too good already and i probably do later than i should think. Five might be ideal for this and it's this website put out to look really real to look like the these scientists out this information all about this creature that doesn't really exist and it's called. The pacific northwest tree octopus and has really well edited photo. Listen a tree and it gets all this like scientific quote unquote informational and so kids can get tricked easily. Say don't have those skills to critically sing however within a minute of signing and gave out a graphic organizers like tell me all about the trio's this is so important we're gonna save it from extinction this whole ruse in this whole setup and the kids in my grade seven class. Got it within one minute and we'll how did you know that the source wasn't legitimate. How did you figure that out. And they're like we'll be googled. It and we and we went onto here and it wasn't just the school that they searched within google which i was so proud of i was like i guess you won't be on google. You just had different sources us look at images you watch videos. You listened to voice recordings. You didn't read the first thing. I mean you did read it but that wasn't the only thing that you read the first item on google so that was amazing. I do encourage you know maybe. Upper intermediate crude four five. Maybe even great six teachers to check that one out because it is hilarious to see kids. Because you'll have a few kids who will try and at least grade level. They're kind of figuring. Like i don't really know if i believe this or they figure it out and they're just looking at you like what are you talking about. Miss cullen or whatever and then some kids the whole assignment and they don't even you know things to fact check or think to do more research and it's and it's a really valuable this isn't real and this is why we do research that one. Yeah we just kind of built it into everything we do that. I like that were provided. I did it from scratch. Fake website and quick study and along the lines of these shoes. All save the world. And you certainly to try these shoes zero emission blah blah blah michael materials. That's awesome. this is great. You know we should really shoes. And i said well like all right look at the research who who funds research is is the company. Obviously they're going to push their own agenda by a huge you'll see in the world by the way we i told him i usually look. Who's behind a wall. Is their agenda like you said. And what is the main idea. I send you all. This might seem like a great study but in reality is just another advertisements for them to choose. Blake opportunity to teach them like everything has money attached to it and everything has as purpose. Stock yourself there to help you are. It's not trade. So that's that's very impressive that you did it from scratch. I certainly not kudos to you. So i think i mentioned earlier. So how not only do you have access to information like much ladder fingertips on our phone but more efficient working. So i can find answer much quicker than before and because of this because we're supposed to information much quicker and more frequently students are are getting exposed information and much earlier asian basically. I noticed that adolescence starts earlier and it lasts longer Just because they've been exposed much earlier age your maybe violence or sex or swearwords. They're supposed to a much earlier age. Have you noticed as well absolutely absolutely assisting everything on tiktok and all these apps that use is there for them. And i don't necessarily think it is an again. This is just my opinion. I don't think it has been official to try and prevent kids from scene because they are going to serve regardless the parents who take away or don't give their kid a phone until later they are actually in my opinion. I've witnessed. They are actually generation lee and like developmentally behind their peers often left behind and often bullied because they're missing out on that content and it's not that the content is good to see at that age by any means but again it is reality and i know i've said that so many times but it's so important that they are part of that narrative is and we know that they're all on the same page and then we get to teach them and show them kim. This is how we this is what this is. This is how we respond to it safely and creates safe spaces and safe practices especially with more taboo topics as well because it is out there and i would rather kids how it all in front of them and be prepared. Know what they're seeing and be able to kind of look at it again with a critical even on a younger age than we ever would have seen it as our seen a yeah. I think it's really important that we just give them the tools to know because they are going to see it no matter what lessons definitely starts younger and younger. And i think it will continue to and that's okay because the definition for adolescents will just change just like everything else the idea of what it is or that term. We'll just evolved. And it'll change. And i wonder and i don't know enough about this. And maybe psychologists can weigh in whatever whoever should say. I don't know how developmentally in the actual brain how this is changing with this information. Is there rain developing in a different way to be able to cold for see this information at a younger age or is there development sort of behind and they are receiving this information and their brain is quite at the place where they're able to receive. It has yet to do more research on that as well. I imagine that part of it but nevertheless had information in the media is out there and we need to his teachers at least paired them something. So i would say i definitely see the pros and cons battle much earlier age again. I know they're obsessed with digital world. Or even the virtual. I i mean i'm still fascinated virtuality still very fascinated by that and i know they have a strong connection to social media to some again this generalization out of your mud to their connection to social media everything and smartphones that connect connected to everything. We need words north smartphones. Our email text phone call games social media like an. There's an app for everything. We have multiple channels to communicate with each other again with email. Text phone call and all the other messengers on everything. And it's whole digital world. The this whole digital world is their reality. And there's one school pronouncing five scotland. Learn to adapt and basically they moved on entirely new campus and by moving to this new campus. They brought the digital world with them so the included all these interactive display boards and microsoft office and scotland's digital learning platform conglo and so they basically took the world this new generations living in the digital world and they applied as much as they could even know some other schools. Aren't they have their own facebook groups or like they have one of my Previous massachusetts created an instagram for her students. It was private and the only ones who would get access to it or the families. And so she was really incorporate that whole social media and the whole digital world to try and be trying to bridge that gap do you incorporate a lot of technology or even just in your lessons i really do. I really really do last year in the school that i was working in different districts and everything we actually were fortunate enough even though it was sort of the demographic was lower income demographic. We were very fortunate to be able to at the school. Have a three d. printer. And i encourage my kids to use that as frequently as possible even though i had no idea how to use the to figure it out and they were really good and they were teaching me a lot of things which was really amazing but i just told them you use this as much as she can be realistically the technology that i'm maybe using a my class and i use program slink. Who could love it near pot if anybody. I try news through a lot of things digital and even i- months very rudimentary compared to you know the three d. printer realistically the jobs that they are going to be getting in the future that maybe don't even exist yet. They're going to require got knowledge base for the technology for from something as simple as knowing how to use your chromebook really well. All the ins and outs have to an elementary school now. They're learning how to code which is really interesting. I have no idea how to do that. But it is important that i do so. It is important that i learn how to use the three d. center to the again because these are going to get them head in the job market is in the future are gonna prepare them for drugs again that we don't know this or that exist and they're going to have a competitive edge field goal you know. I'm really comfortable technology. Because i've used in my whole school career. I think it will just thrust them. For which is what we need to do. We need to prepare them for a future that we don't know yet. But yeah i love i love i love even dislike docu cameras and i. It's the same thing where you have. Even if i'm writing on physical paper or given an example and i have an ipad or a docu cam connected to the projector as much. That's not really crazy technology. Even getting them to set it up for mean just knowing what connects wear. Those are such basic skills. That i think we take for granted but the kids. That don't know them. Don't know what a usb or usb c is and they're going to be behind in the job market is they do not know this basic stuff. So yeah i try and throw in as much as i can as often as a kid and involved in it as well as a virtual foods three sixty make it good us too long. You have these different. Bc be constantly changing. I do a lot alert communication with their peers online and social media every channel to communicate on the smartphones and mobile devices. And that's how he was overly information so they're expecting similar experience in the classroom in school in scotland they were able to take that and apply it and so for me. I can't believe. I'm saying it's like white boys boys so the school was able to take Than you. I guess a new tech and have digital interaction so now instead of just regular whiteboard is interactive whiteboards projectors interactive projector screen or early. Throw projectors all of a sudden. It's interactive and collaboration aspect of one soon to be running something on interactive gets presented without having wires the projector and same thing though the powerpoint or show something all the students screen if you if they wanted to play and that way not everyone i look up at the screen and they could also be looking at their house man. I know that there's that it's kind of a networking where everyone has access to the same stuff. And i could send a message to appear next to me. Even if that i might be out. There might be a substitute still communicate immediately with these students. Even feeling classroom that immediate feedback that you have not only students the students with their peers. Even for me. Even the thing i really like. I didn't really pushing forward grants these books digital no and so. I really liked that. He's still feel writing with a pen on paper. But then digital and then it gets uploaded to your whatever cloud storage us and i still like writing lesson plans on on paper and then uploading it. I do like that one place and everywhere altogether like boy in his absence. And i don't have to worry about giving maybe outdated Lesson plan or there's air stuff can just be immediately Access because it's all continually updating. Your lesson plan like writing on paper. I'm going to get a huge pot. All my lesson plans are in my head. I actually don't have any specific written down detailed lesson plans. I'm writing curricular competency and all these other things. I don't know what the language necessarily is in the states versus here in canada. All the things the goals are the main ideas that i need to hit an all those strategies that i'm gonna use to get there and all my accommodations for my differentiated students and so on and so forth. I don't have that on down floating in my head. And i might make me feel better trade it down and then i often forget it even if i do write it down. Happened in my mind. I know what. I'm doing three weeks from next tuesday. It's in my brain. And i try and design all night lessons and when sort of thinking them up in my head and i'm looking for resources or trying them out or whatever it is. I do try and make all my lessons super accessible in that. I don't have to necessarily change anything if at all Very minor things in order for all my students of all different abilities to be able to participate and succeed in that lesson task. Whatever it might be. I do try and design everything. Sort of under the framework of universal design for learning where kids are able to access and succeed in whatever task in whatever way suits them. So they're really good at writing. They can write. that's fine. they're really good. Podcast for example. Like if you're soon right now maybe you do a podcast about whatever task it is whatever of history or whatever. Maybe you're doing a podcast or whatever. It is maybe a really good at creating art and you can talk your art for hours. Great and do that. He knows as long as my kids can show me that they understood the task. Or what ever it was that they're learning find by me and again. That's all in my head. The only thing that i really have on paper is my assessment. That's it you're not going to catch up. I might have a easier time incorporating technology because just finish your teacher preparation program and so the of that again leads me to fire a principal. I would definitely recommend missing the veteran tissues together especially in the same grade level so not having all the veterans only ever grade. I would mix the newer in the veteran teachers in the gray level on. Because it's not just enough interesting utech in the school but it's also training. You can't expect all right. Here's a the newest platform or the new is Whatever may be used quality class or whatever it may be you also gotta teach them. You got to play to the strengths of all the teachers and kind of like a two way. Mentorship were bulging. Teach each other something new and I know there's a you know there's certain stereotypes can't on all dog. new tricks. Pineal depends on one way of working. Learning be have in one way of teaching or learning or for the whole class like for me like when i teach my students like and utech speaking of easier than any other ones and so same thing one year. Can you talk to the teachers. And the students when incorporating technology. I know i said earlier having multiple channels for them to communicate with each other show their way of their mastery also have multiple channels for the families as well. Especially since we're doing digital concerning and so i'm not easily accessible or even just to my teachers. They can't just come next to him. But i can just go to the often saying oh can you print this out with a multiple channels and tranquil kept my classroom frying be available as much as i can. And since i teach special ed use technology to have students show their mastery and the best way that they have whether it's writing with as images whether it's a video matching whatever may be. Yeah i try and do this so that they feel comfortable because again if i if am even as a teacher if you give me this new tag and like here you go the luck. Obviously to read up on manual. I'm going to do some kind of professional development similar students. I'm not going to be like all right. You'll know how to drive so go ahead and finish it. I'd try naked so that they're comfortable in. I do make adjustments on the fly and try at the content to the more learning style whether some students needs texas speech. Even some students need like the animation. So there is can follow along. The words will be highlight area. Like it'll be a little character. Jumping from word to word is can still follow along. Were a passage. they're reading And so i do adjusted. And i have some students might be better kinesthetic learners Some students do better chromebooks or with a tablet that touchscreen. So i really try in change technology to meet the needs of my students. Do you do something similar like that. Yeah i mean. We're very fortunate. Almost technology does it for us. In a lot of the programs created are super inclusive which passive voice to tax and the other embrace versus where you can hear a passage be read out loud to you thirty readiness while if you're not the best reader fantastic. There are so many different resources out. There and different programs are already built into our technology as well like her chromebooks books. Whatever it is that using the have just incredible vance is a lot of them. Were not even aware of. And i'm not even aware of that. I'm still learning and it's usually the kids who have those needs to figure it out or know about ready which is amazing and they actually teach me and think. That's just i don't know i think it's it's amazing that we really don't have to do a lot of the work. Is there for us that we're supposed to work. That we need to do is just become aware of it and then know how to use it effectively. And that's right yeah. I think we're lucky in that sense. I don't always the kids take advantage of the technology is it's great the on lots of vance's and it's great for our society. I don't don't always want to rely on it. It does fill me sometimes. The most basic the internet connection. We'll fill me. Wires might not work runs. So i don't want to have my kiddos gluteus screen distance learning i try and do fifty fifty were among the first half of the lesson will be hands on with the whiteboards or really are manipulatives or drawing coloring cutting etc and second half is incorporate the ad tech and found a new new pod from the second half and so i do the near pod. The utterly us the time to climb so i and so that's my informal settlements or whatever the hands on like circle draw number line. What's next how much is a dollar is that we use for the first half of the hands on in the second half is where i assess show one dollar bill and then be like all right. How much do dollars five dollars or whatever all show like three d objects that can be like this fear and so whatever we did. What the at touch. Because i don't have too much screen time that i know the studies show that maybe too much screen time Leads to an increased likelihood of diagnosed for adhd. And the most recent numbers. I that i was able to catch up on his. Roughly eleven percent of the dnc have been diagnosed with adhd any negative effects of maybe having a week in with screen time of super biological for lack of a better word facts in that. The blue light glasses are becoming very popular because the strain on the is for sure. That's typically proven. We know that great adapt. Let's change technology and it already has phones where we have night mode right computers. You can enable features while on a lot like there are changes and there will continue to be changes for these negative effects. I think as soon as we figure them out but we don't know all of them obviously right now and as you said with eleven percent being diagnosed having she. I don't necessarily think that's a problem or problematic because that's just the way it is and that is how children are going to exist or how adults are going to exist in. How is our world needed. The problem is like okay now. How is our world going to adopt or change in order to accommodate this new normal rate and how are older generations who haven't interacted. Maybe as much with kids or other humans. Adhd how do we create inclusive spaces in our workplaces As adults in order to universities to in order to not just accommodate that. Make part of the norman. You know. I don't know how to go further than that but yeah just it's it's going to be what it is and it's how we're going to react. So that's what i would say. I mean for negative affects. I would call them negative effects and it is what it is and it's how we deal with them. That argument autism might be the new normal and so might might be the way we live in the future because of her exposed to them. All this information you her up. This episode officer advised that you would give the new. Teachers are those entering the education field. You really have to want to enter. Because you think it's an easy thing to do or because you get a really good pension not to say that that shouldn't be because we are very fortunate however you have to know that you are working with the next generation in every day you have to get out and do really difficult and uncomfortable work and that's going to challenge you every single day. It's going to challenge you. And you're going to have to learn and be learning and i'm learning and relearning for the rest of your life and you have to be open and okay to do that. You're going to meet so many different amazing little humans along your way and you might not be able to reap the benefits or see the reward right away and it might not come for five years for ten years but as soon as a student comes back and says you in my life because you said this one sentence when i was thirteen years old now i see oh or whatever the rewards might not and probably won't feel immediate to know that you wanna to wake up every day and do that and be okay with not having those results immediately. But if that's not the kind of person you are and you're just looking to share them maybe going to university professor just as make sure you really committed to learning and self learning and doing that for at least a little humans for the next generation. Some thank you so much bed. He just wanted to thank. You must born the listeners

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Sopranos Sitdown S05E12  Long Term Parking  Cut To Black

Cut To Black: A Sopranos Sitdown

1:13:10 hr | 2 years ago

Sopranos Sitdown S05E12 Long Term Parking Cut To Black

"He could get us all killed with new york and him. Tony has to think about what to do with him now. After all this shit miki not to fucking think nick we'll. Maybe i need to think ever thought an ad your fat fucking scumbag. That's the guy adrienne my uncle tony a guy. I'm going to hell for wow. Welcome my friends to cut to black. Sopranos sit down. That's the guy well that's the guy jim scam tamboli me the guy going to hell for and i've seen every of citizens rondos right and that's the that's this guy i'm going to help for me. Jacob burroughs and i've seen sixty four episodes of the sopranos concluding for now in episode so twelve of season five long term parking and i just barely stopped myself from <hes> texas new what fall aww watching this because it's a weird thing where you you are really watching this ski obviously seen it before but i don't think just based on talking to you. You're not that data aware of like what's going to happen in the next episode right so if i go what go <hes> if you haven't seen it yet so i didn't but i was like afar yes and who made this show this was written by terence winter and directed by tim van patten those names you've heard before and you'll hear again. He did originally air on may twenty third two thousand four and yes. This is one of the quintessential sopranos episodes long-term parking so yeah did he hit you like bat. Did he hit. You hit me all right. I didn't like it's most of these <hes> like quintessential episodes well. Sometimes you can kind of tell early on the quintessential one but other times it it hits ya and <hes> if it didn't hit me then i i don't know 'cause this is. I mean obviously yeah adriana. It gets killed <hes>. That's the big thing yeah i mean. There's other stuff in the episode by like jesus christ. She's from she's episode one. She's like <hes> she's. She's like ride or die crew. She's always been there yeah. This is some serious shit. This isn't like ralphie. Jim now going on this crazy and christopher. He didn't do it but like he did it. What the fuck yeah because it's not like ralphie was a character that kind of popped in but they tried to pretend like he was there. They're all along and adriana where the enough is like. I mean the kind of the common trivia about her. Is that she kind of was a character that wasn't supposed to be a character her like she was the hostess said vesuvius does or whatever and you know david chase and the gang they liked her and they decided to kind of flesh out apart for and then here. We are season five episode twelve. I guess it felt like there was always potentially doom with their character ever since i mean this thing with her for in the f._b._i. Has been going on since the finale of season three <hes> you like off and on. It's one of those things where like they check in and then like you'd forget about it. It wasn't kinda. Kinda like with big pussy. It was always the thing with him every time we cut to them. There's something going on at the f._b._i. Was always like a common thing and this was kind of a slow roll. <hes> until things things kind of amp up some deaths have been very important to the plot of a certain season. I mean ralphie's brings to mind of course but <hes> <hes> i dunno emotionally as far as like importance for the characters <hes> livia soprano's the only one i can think of that's of the same level yeah and i guess it feel. I don't remember at the time they must not have announced anything yet or maybe they did. I don't remember enough at the time but it definitely feels more like they're kind of saying <hes>. We're ready to kinda wind things down a bit. We're ready. We see we have an end in sight and this this is not just something sopranos does like t._v. In general it's like okay we could start knocking off like kinda character favorites. I'm sure a <hes> renos my favorite but i know it was a thing that some people's their favourite or just enough that it really affected a lot of people. It was one of those deaths after i think they talk about it. A bit or dre dematteo has mentioned that there was a lot of outcry when this happened <hes> because you know people are i mean it's even more more so now with social media but you know even in two thousand and four people had their a._o._l. Instant messenger and they're like what the fuck what the fuck dude right. Yes well it is. I think you're right about like they wouldn't do this if they didn't know what they were doing next season. If that makes sense i mean maybe that's an overstatement but like game as roma's could've taken a leaf out of this book and maybe had some impactful moments moments in the penultimate season. You know let's not get into it. We have a podcast on that cosentino dot com but still it's. It's a very important moment. I think i mean a dramas. Now my favorite character <hes> <hes> it would be a strange person news favourite characterization ron for being totally honest but but like christopher in all his piece of shit notice is an easy character to have his favourite. I'm not sure he's mind but like he. There's some so much in that character and this is such an interesting way to go because that line that fucking line that's the guy i'm going to hell for <hes> and to have that in in this episode and to look back on it holy shit <hes> that's so powerful because he hates tony because tony's not moral tony's not this and that and then and this is him like turning closer to being totally like this is him making that kind of choice tony as leader or as this person he he is has to make yeah good stuff because that i talk about this every now and then was scenes are lines that is one of the quintessential sopranos rhino's lines to me and i did for some reason i didn't know was in this episode. I thought it was earlier. Whatever reason i don't know what but as surprised raised that it was this late and it happens here. <hes> just quick quick quick callouts terence winter did win a primetime emmy award for outstanding writing for this episode. Tim van patten was nominated but it looks like it did not win. For outstanding directing trade imitation did win. <hes> award for outstanding supporting actress in a drama series and michael imperiously got a primetime emmy for outstanding supporting actor in a drama series empire magazine has named this the best sopranos episode of all time. I think that's a little much but yeah. I mean it's up there. It's in it's in it's in the discussion. I'd imagine yeah no absolutely and this is kind of a side comments but at shows what you know dot com you will also find gilead gazette where we discussed thus the handmaid's tale and i watched three episodes of the handmaid's tale and then i watched one episode of the sopranos and it's not fair because the sopranos is one of the best shows <hes> that's ever been and made and the handmaid's tale. I don't think it is anymore but like i've watched three episodes of that show i was like what the fuck happened or any of these episodes and yeah i get this is obviously a really great but like you watch five minutes of an episode of the sopranos you watch five minutes of any other given show and you're like why aren't we doing doing better. Why aren't we doing better guys. We can do a lot better <hes> yeah i mean i know like for podcast. We'll podcasters. This doesn't mean anything if you've been kind of just checking in here and there but <hes> for people who have been trying to keep up week to week with us we've had some delays and some breaks here and there to apologize is for that but like i do. I have to confess. I did watch this a few weeks ago because i knew like oh. We're not going to record a little while. I'm gonna watch it now and then i had to watch it again <hes> <hes> just because but yeah yeah it's a good one and it is that thing like we we do <hes> host the sopranos show. We also try to discuss other t._v. And there's still some great tv but you're right sometimes when you're into sopranos and like whether you're watching it and watching it with the idea of discussing it and you get kind of excited. Did you watch another show. Even if it's pretty good you're kind of like what the fuck. I don't have that much to say here but here there's lots and let's get into it so we do. The open up with adriana like security footage of retaking garbage shouts to throw it away and then putting a car and her f._b._i. Handler gets brought into have a look at it. They're like oh what and we don't know what's going on with that either and this is actually a kind of fun and good way of using flashback and stuff just within her storyline when we eventually do find out what's happ what's going on there because it just makes sense to me that that's how it would go where she's telling the story and we move into it and it is kind of a nice little mystery to keep us <hes> i not to draw us into what's going on with her this episode yes yes because the it feels like what should be the <hes> a plot for this kinda even for like half of the episode kind of is is this whole thing because we still got the whole thing with phil and tony be tony bill doc killed his brother as we see in a scene coming up towards the beginning we do get at least the flashback we were with tony dream in the previous episode road so we've all this stuff with new york and we are checking in with adriaan but it doesn't feel like things are different because we've done this a lot where we check and she's still got issues with their your bowels in their stress and it's like they're still using it somewhat to comic effect like they kind of show which i assume is like almost like a rectum <hes> picture or insider rectum and they're talking about how our guts are all messed up and then of course chris is going to be making hilarious comments about it later on in her mother's there air you know she's got a wedding to do things medications going to give her a moon face <hes> so all this stuff's going on here. Yes it's <hes> all sorts sure to colitis so inflammation and ulcers in your digestive track yeah great stuff to be dealing with. I mean much like a a much like sort of an attack on your insides. Tony soprano is moving back to the soprano household like a big ulcer on the digestive track of the soprano family home at this is also something that's on another show. Let's not name any names but it's the handmaid's tale <hes> we have relationships between characters that's luxuriate one way okay and the fluctuate the other way and it feels like random and just degenerate drama and here when carmella antonia are sort of pulled back hike into yeah you know fucking. Let's just i'll just move back in. It feels totally ordinary on boring in a good way in a way of like you know what given a vacuum these characters would attract to one another again <hes> in this type of situation and it's not weird and it's not going to be good but like it makes perfect sense to me that it's this slow sort of like a few episodes ago. I would have gone like we so stupid but like just with everything happening happening. It's like you know what this <hes>. This adds up to me yeah yeah and it's it's they've both worn each other down where it's it it is it does become a business transaction in this episode <hes> and it's a much more interesting way to do it than having the party the episode and then they have sex and then they like the carmella went camilla's all aflutter that tony's there and then they talk and they get back together. It's more interesting this way because because it's like i mean obviously tony wants tony. He's been wanting to be back because he's in his lonely dead mother's house and sometimes being lonely at the plaza hotel l. <hes> and plus it just kind of this aggravation and embarrassment of having a broken family and then carmella has been trying. Yes you kind of <hes> become independent but also still live the lifestyle. She's used to and tony's made sure that's not gonna happen been so it. Is this like mutual defeat. That's going to end up with them back together so yeah it's. I don't think i picked up on a lot of that. When i originally originally watched the show and i watched it week to week so it definitely is it felt a little bit more of a cheat on my i watch like years ago and originally usually erred but watching it now it it it's really i feel like it's way more well done in masterful in an in done in an interesting way yeah and the first together has tony sitting there <hes> trying to fix the v._c._r. like cl clicking back and forth with his remote control and she's there they're and they're talking about him being unfaithful and they're talking about her and furio and they're not yelling at each other. They're like yeah. You know like thank you did this. I did do that. It's like like popeye says i am what i am and she's like. I didn't marry a cartoon thing. He didn't like nothing. Nothing goes out of control is just like here we are and the v._c._r.'s and fixed but <hes> they're working on it and plus. It's like the setting the it is. It's almost like he's back because it is a very just when tony was in the house. This is something they would do. Anyways <hes> and it's i guess just starting to feel like a more of a possibility in a natural thing <hes> and now it's just gonna come down to like what they're going to get out of. It like whoa what's going to be beneficial for each of them to do this. Yes yes absolutely and so then. We do have a this flashback where tony be goes on his attack. I don't remember who it is that dies. It's his brother is phil's brother. Yes it's phil's brother. Whatever is you know billy phillies brother right right right. That was the thing with christopher link. You mean philly billy yeah so it's kind of an interesting way of going into it. 'cause i almost kind of lost track of what was happening when nervous i watching it because i looked away for a second but yet he's sitting down with a cigarette and then he has a flashback philly that is to the day before and billy comes out the door then tony v.'s is there and he's shooting them up and totally does not kill the guy who's trying to kill you know if you're going to go on a rampage at least get it right tony exactly that and <hes> yeah he dies in his arms and then we flashback to him still sitting there with a cigarette so the cigarettes <hes> <hes> that he's sitting there with is really just to not confuse us and go. This is happening right now. Which i guess yeah that makes sense yeah yeah and it's kinda shot and interesting way like like from his point of view <hes> bit and yeah we get we get a taste of what we missed because we're with tony and his dream <hes> then we have little carmine and i believe rusty and they're kind of like little carmine is again. It's like how did it get to this like yeah. What do you mean like what i guess that is this whole thing is that he's kind of an idiot and he calls her. What a stag meyer us and we're starting to see that in classic sopranos david chase fashion <hes> this is going to end in somewhat of an anti-climax at least this particular thing but the good thing about that is what but it's going to mean for you know our characters because they smartly like we've checked in with little carmine and rusty and stuff but they never attempted to make them kim like main characters where we hang out with them a lot. It's always just been this thing in the background and i think in the midst of it's kind of like all right what's going on but now it's becoming more clear. You're like <hes> like where things are going. I guess yeah and you're totally right about the anti-climax is like i think the last scene with little carmine in in this episode and i don't know maybe ever and he's just kinda standing there like and just from his mood we read what's up because they're like you. Gotta get out there. Put your ground. He's like that's not how i want to handle this and and like he's even kind of upset about <hes> yeah i mean his buddy who was tony b's friend in prison isn't he did get killed and i don't know that we've seen little carmine reaction sense but it's also and then another guy killed billy and he's like what happened and then like tony. I wanna you went off the reservation or whatever and he's just kind of there like ma'am. Yes stuff's hard. Yeah i wanna go back to miami. I wanna go back to hanging out in the pool cool <hes> and then we have <hes> silvio and tony <hes> discussing the tony. V.'s situation looks like they're at the crazy horse. <hes> adrianus this club <hes> chris comes in <hes> or as chris come in. I yes yes kim. Then chris comes in oh yeah like why are you late or whatever and he has that. It's a bruce springsteen line. The highways jammed with broken heroes last chance power drive. Oh you're gonna get fucking cute now and eh criticized some great lines here. He calls my smelly valentine. Turn coal into a semi colon late this is before he kills her before oh. He knows that she's an f._b._i. Agent doesn't just him being romantic and the big thing here. Christopher has a beer and not that. It's tony's fault fault but it's kind of tony's faults because last week saw member tony's like oh. Why don't you chill out once you have a drink or whatever and i mean i'd chris. I think does gal l. When he granting he does bring that up <hes> but not that's tony makes the decisions for him but you know he doesn't have to do that either he doesn't have to we have a drink chila. Your what would you yeah and i think the emotional impact of having that yell at him was greater but there is also the fact that when he actually got cleaned up and sober it was with a gun to his head with the threat of if you don't stay sober i'm gonna kill you know then that same guy tells you to have a drink like like that's gone out the window. I like i said the emotional part of it. It is tony and his relationship with him is important and what's happening with tony him. It's all affecting but like that. Part is also taken away and there's the emotional aspect so he's just like you. What ca you told me to have a drink once in a while and tony what's he gonna do like take the drink and smashes like you did tell him that you weren't joking really so fuck you tony and then we kind of have a quick little moment with tony and adriana kind of calling back to that episode where they were going to score some coke because you know he asked her like he's trying to play the nice i sky here. You know talking about her health. She asked him about the you know the mole that he had removed then you mentioned he's getting back together with carmella and in a weird way it does feel where they're like. Oh yeah this thread like you know. Things didn't happen in this episode that happened like this threads not over like tony would totally falker even if even once they're like she's married to christopher and all that he's still like keeping his his fishing pole like in the in the water. You know what i mean mm-hmm. Why did sort of see it as being like genuinely just kind of a good guy but then i'm usually wrong. I think that about tony so i think you're probably right yeah yeah <hes> so we have a meeting new york in the set that we've been in so many times <hes> that i still don't know it's like a restaurant and it has like a facade with door in it and they go through and sit at this roundtable. <hes> just wanted to call it out because i saw at this time and i was like oh yeah. I think we just keep going. This is like the new york <hes> sach realities or whatever you know yeah yeah. I'm not sure the place specifically either but yeah. It's like this bar restaurant place and it's always the new york sit down area. Yeah upped and phillies. They're saying i mean saying all sorts of shit like jarosite. Feel anyone die in your arms that you love. Tell me no and he's like well. Give it time maybe i'll make that happen like pretty open threats being thrown around and they he he he heads off but then it's still like threats against christopher and all of it and <hes> little carmine hasn't pulled out yet already pretty bad yeah frank vincent nsen is great <hes> as phil and he's i think even as this part here he's like fuck fuck them all john like and then it's interesting because yeah they send them away a._m. Tony makes the point of like you know. If they're having this sit down. He probably shouldn't be there. Because of course he is all emotional of what happened but then jonny sack doesn't jonny johnny sack like keeps that energy where he's like. He's got right down here and then yeah then he's like throw in threats around against christopher because he already hates chris i think from that time when they told him to shut up and don't say anything and then he had like one comment. I think johnny sex still mad at him for that. I don't remember that but yeah that does sound like a thing yeah. It was the whole thing where we're tony was like look. Just don't say anything because this battle in new york good for us yeah yeah they sit down here or there at dinner or something and then then christmas makes a comment like oh. It's just a shame. You guys couldn't work it out like that. Because busy remembers like his conflict resolution of whatever from his getting sober or whatever the flag it was at the time yeah and <hes> yeah that didn't really work fram either <hes> we have a random shot of like some sort of scouts or something on a beach whenever we have the senate film <hes>. There's going to be a dead body. There's never not been a dead body in this scene. It's never about exploring learning about different types of shells like can't say i'm. I'm surprised that we see a dead body. Though i did think it was going to be someone like we've seen before you know lots of people who have been dumped in the sea but it's different dead body that we're gonna learn about later yeah yeah. It's kind of interesting how they do that. 'cause 'cause i mean the body's bloated the bloated and whatever so we're kind of like oh are we supposed to know who this is <hes> but yeah all become clear then we have tony carmont silvio's and already. They're always like to see artie. Shots is in pine. Grandma bites your song okay yeah because this is where they're kind of. This brings up the spec house and how you know. Maybe we keep looking at this lot. She can partner with their dad to make this spec house six hundred thousand dollars and i'm no businessman <hes> gym yeah well clearly. I'm a runner podcast empire but besides that it seems like a lotta great investments is full of trees like building a house built good. Anything on spec doesn't seem like the best idea but <hes> what do i now. I don't think it matters to tony because it's like. How much money do i have to pour into this to have this. Be over yeah yeah because then it's even like okay. Maybe i could move some money around will get a down down payment and then communists says will then then what and he's like then i'll move in so like here we go. It's just another he went from new york. Sit down to now is sit down with carmella to kind of hash out this whole marriage thing yeah. This one went better doing better on the personal front. The professional front at the moment christopher shows up with a drama and tony pulls for chat in the bathroom and i thought at first it's going to be like about the wine. He's actually deal with this problem but now he's really upset about those cigarettes that we saw that episodes ago. They didn't have the right stickers on them and so he says you're going to split this. Now you you with <hes> with paulie paulie paulie walnuts and yeah no no cigarettes for you and he like. I just know from the start arta this scene that he's gonna smash that wine glass. It's so like such a loaded gun in his hand and of course he does against the wall. I mean and it is just kind of another reminder because you know the last scene we saw him in. He's got a he's got a bottle a heineken <hes> than in this scene he's got like a nice big glass of wine line and i think immediately cuts him ranting and now he's got like a another bottle of booze in his hand and he's kind of all liquor up <hes> ranting about tony. That's a clip from the start and we've had a lot of scenes like this throughout the show where christopher's unhappy about something and this is one of the times where it actually alike gets to be like he's right like she. That's the pain forbid here because he's talking about how he puts his life on the line. How tony the eggs is like he's he's way above him there on a totally different level even though he's the waters like i gave a fuck pieces of my soul well. He told me to go have a drink like that's the reason he's in the state. He's in right now and he doesn't like that's the state he's in and he sits down and says that's who i'm going to help for so there's a lot of stuff here. That's pretty accurate from him. Even though he's drunk yeah yeah absolutely everything he's saying is is pretty much right and it does like obviously this is almost this we do see the christopher come to our interesting crossover a crossover <hes> crossroads in this episode so but he does he still chooses his uncle tony even though he's going to have these moments where he might be back at his apartment yelling at the sky at had you know eight you fat fucking scumbag. Maybe i need to think or i could take him out and second is kids. Don't even care but that's all you know. Tony's got that hold on him and you can't get from it yeah exactly <hes> so we have tony wrapping up some loose. Thanks going to see valentina and just yeah rapin that one up like i said he's going to bring her home and that and and any sort of it was a big thing like when she originally did set herself on fire. He was like why can't break up with her now. How would it look just give it up. Give it a week yourself and it'll be fine. He's pretty casual about it now. The scene ominously ends with her saying she's gonna kill himself and he says i gotta take this walk walking off with this phone. Obviously we've seen that play out before which did have an impact on him. I feel like they probably wouldn't go down that same road again but it is interesting how this gets wrapped up in such melodramatic way of having a set on fire but then a very sort of anti-climactic way af like the important thing in this scene is that tony b gives him a call and so he calls some guy from the phone company to get like or call silvio to get somebody to call to tap tap is lines yeah get traps on his lines. There's a quick seen before this just kind of cutting back to them the f._b._i. Looking at the footage or now they're seeing that cops are showing up and they're trying to figure out what's going on and i think the important like like you said how tony phrased it before of. I can't break up with her now. How would it look and i i think the reason why it looks different now is because he's getting back together with his wife so it is like a weird savior even though he's still he's still technically dumping a burn victim but his excuses he's choosing his family and of course you know all the medication prescriptions and and you know medical bills will be taken care of <hes> <hes> <hes> but my favorite line here is when he says like that's why i didn't want you hitching your wagon to my star. That's a hell align isn't it yeah does as someone who's in the hospital because they were laid on fire <hes> but it is also i do feel like we see an interesting change in tony because he's yeah he's not the tony that was with gloria because she's using gloria tactics of i'll kill myself and now he doesn't really care <hes> and i don't know if that's just because he's so happy that he's getting back together with his wife like not in the not in the traditional marriage way but just in the way that like he gets the move back home <hes> or if it's just that he's grown past that or if he just kinda knows it's not the same like gloria did like gloria was different because she went to therapy like he you did. They went to the same therapist or i think. Maybe it's just tony becoming more cold yeah. It could be that as well. Another great line is when. She says something like h she can't. I can't believe you're doing this. After i set myself on fire cooking you a snack and he goes come on now. You could just as easily have been cooking something for yourself. The <hes> man he has some yeah like he really is. He's over it doesn't matter her <hes> and then yeah as you said he gets the silent call from tony be and decides to get some traps on his line because you know it's gonna call again. <hes> <hes> then we have we have tony arriving home and i love the way jump around a bit on these scenes but the way the house is still dark even when he's there like when and because they're not having having they usually have family. They have dinner in the kitchen area like that that kitchen dining area but they're having dinner in the bigger room. We're usually like they have a big group but it's still like it but it's all dark outside like because you don't have like that open area. It feels more closed in it's dark. I mean yeah. I know they like directly. Comment on it as well but i just love the way it feels <hes> 'cause they totally get it across that it is like awkward and weird yeah. Although oh i mean it is it is awkward certainly <hes> and we are but <hes> he they they kind of save it because i mean <hes> 'cause a._j.'s like what this is so strange and then like you know what some champagne will help and it does. It actually does like hey. Let's you know let's make it on occasion that if it's gonna be a weird occasion let's make it weird but positive which kinda works <hes> the thing is they never really resolved any of their issues and he says like definitely not going to do that anymore and but she and she's she's like yeah. It'll all be okay as like part of the big thing was she had big moral problems with him. You know being a mob boss and a murderer and all that's still going to be the case but you know what i get that six hundred k. so it's all right. Let's just well ingar glasses and also the interesting. It's not the tony says he's not going to cheat on her anymore. It's it's not gonna come back to her like she. She's not going to make her look foolish. Basically it's not gonna interfere in their home <hes> and and and i guess you're right but i still feel like the champagne stuff did feel awkward and it's even a little weird like it just cuts to like. He's in mid like popping the champagne. I mean he does have that moment where he tells a._j. Like you gotta savour these moments like the good moments but i think they put the cap on it because they have that scene of carmella staring at tony on the couch and it's like oh things are back to normal but not really and then she does like just kind of dump out the champagne glasses and put them in the washing machine where it's like nah. This is all like it's all facade shrimp <hes> so we did have a cuisine before that of adriana getting picked up <hes> exiting a shop shop and <hes> we do move now to her watching the tape of her getting trashed and that and she she denies everything of course says isn't it illegal to film someone without them knowing and you know our account numbers around there and they say like. Do you really think it's because we don't know what's in the bag that we brought you in here and and some of that would feels like it would usually be like a scare tactic but i feel like they know what's up. They don't know everything but they know what's up so yeah. We head into this flashback ashbury about mature. We've seen before yes yeah meticias. The guy that jackie junior was gonna give protection for him to deal at the crazy easy horse and i ended up getting jar jaw wired shut and like a couple of broken bones or whatever because i think furio in the in them like beat the shit out of him but but he's she's still around still slip sir some ex from time to time and she what he wants to use the facts for <hes> search for at least like you're trying to rent a place and they have to fax over some references or an application or something like that that's the kind of thing that would would happen and then they would go and like yet. Let's rob the place but it's so much more interesting to have it in this show where it's like while the copy places closed. Who do we know who has is a fax machine adriana crazy horse. They have an office right and then that's exactly what they're doing and she didn't get some drugs out of it. So oh you know a great deal of fortunately there's some guy there who thinks he got a bad deal with some laxative instead of <hes> heroin or whatever the fuck right yeah yep and he just wants his money back and again like i love how this is shot because it gets really violent but i don't. I know it feels like it's i guess maybe it's because they are just faxing a thing and they're not doing a robbery like you mentioned like it feels weirdly mundane and then it gets kinda grizzly because the way he's he's just stabbing him over and over again because it also feels like he kinda didn't have to stab him like e. They could've taken they wrestle the knife away. I mean i know this is like a huge dude that they're fighting but then they decided to just stab him a bunch of times and kill them yeah and you know i'm not super squeamish mich- but this was one of their displays of violence on the show where i had a reaction like like yeah we just see him stabbing him over and over in the side. There's a fair bit of blood and blood flooded itself is not disgusting gory but just like you said the situation where it just spirals out of control and and like it is kind of a shock in a weird way <hes> <hes> i think mateus friend is there also like what the fuck just happened here. 'cause i just want to lease motherfucker. Adriaan walks it as well so yeah. Let's great that he's like what the fuck just happened. When meanwhile he was biting the guy's hand so he dropped the knife. It's got like he's got blood on his like lips and shit yeah and <hes> yeah he's. She is telling the story of how it it got sort it out and they're like yo. It's cool. It's cool. We'll just taking us through the basement. It's cool and she wants to think it's cool and just you know like most problems in their lives. She's just like you know what yes we'll. Just throw this away and ignore it. It's an let's hope everything's gonna be okay but it's not yeah and i like how i mean i. I totally believe her and i kinda like get sir weird like naievety. I guess where she's like you know i was his brother runs a prep school. I was very impressed by that. I didn't want him to get in trouble and i know it doesn't even do drugs anymore. You just and like and what sounds really dumb but i feel like most people would kind of be like that where it's like. We'll know i know this guy. Even maybe not maybe not on a murder situation but other things whether it be dealing drugs or stuff like that <hes> and and they're just kind of like baffled like these these feds are like all right whatever but they finally of something they could really twist the screws on her with because this this is a a <hes> what obstructing an investigation date potentially an accessory to murder so they get some real years they can kind of governor face here yeah and she finally uses the l word of she wants. Her lawyer took her about a year but <hes> yeah. They never give her a lawyer. I mean they call. I do believe that they do call together a one again this whatever it's going to take time we'll just have more time to have a chat here in the the ladies room and try to try to flip even further because they wanted to wear a wire and she absolutely refuses to do that but she comes up with. This thought that maybe i can. Maybe i can slip <hes> flip christopher. Maybe yes yeah and i mean right before that. Because we see the caboose oh guy he's like the lead detective and we've seen him really like he's really laying injuries yelling atr again pressuring her here and yeah as you said they mentioned about the lawyer and they probably do but they also probably say like hey take your time because they know they can just try to like wait her out and in hope that she's just going to give in and when the lead investigator is yelling like you've never got shots. I can't help but remember the lamp and like all the amount of work they put into that fucking lamp to get in there and i'm like i would also be annoyed because it's been like seasons and they haven't got shit couldn't even get junior locked up jesus christ <hes> then in kind of in between that we have <hes> carmen <hes> in tony <hes> she's talking about how she wants to iron his his close because <hes> hersher orissa getting weak and then tony makes kind <hes> innuendo sexual innuendo. They get a little frisky so you know they're they're. They're they're back together. Yeah he hangs up his shirts and she just immediately moves them over to the right place but yeah they they get it on weei. Cut supply the black on that right or cuts adriana rather yeah we kind of cut to black i think and then or and then fades what adriana where we see chris may be real quick making a call. He's he can't find adriana. Anna sees hiding in the in the stall <hes> in the bathroom and <hes> i guess yeah that's kind of where uh i'm trying to think. Is that where she does. Even say anything or we just see the the handler then come in and say she thinks she can maybe <hes> crinoids it ends with her like saying she needs a cigarette and they go outside together so they just talking after that so we don't see the conclusion there so then we see tony sit by the pool as he's wanted to do and <hes> and we get like a cross fade to cross fade flashbacks created this by the way yeah okay i was. I didn't mind it actually but yeah what did you hate about. The only thing i hate is i hate when they cut to them sitting on steps like looking at each other smiling because when does that happen because i mean i guess you could theoretically think had happened when they were there with christopher out on this but it's it just felt so corny to me like it felt like it wasn't a sopranos thing. It felt like a sip calling it an ad for cigars they literally. There's no no like sound from it. I i don't know if there's music or if he says silence. I didn't mind when you see them. As like little kids were little kids but they're like teenagers or whatever but one one thing i did want to ask to is like because now tony sitting at the pool and it looks cold and it's like in fall and it feels like there's only a few episodes. They were having a party and they were swimming in the pool. All the time i mean i guess they're always always playing fast and loose with the time jim. I live in ireland. That could be the same day like and i'm like yeah. It's cold outside and rainy and yeah so what's your point. It is fuck in june and <hes> yeah but let's not worry about it. That's a good the question i mean. I've given up on time keeping on this show if there's lever christmas episode i'll be like oh. It's christmas like yours it. I don't care beyond that yeah. I mean i guess if anything it's not not out there to say that some time has passed whether it be between the last episode or even like an episode before that i guess although i guess tony be couldn't have been on the run too too long and i. I guess it's more the more important thing i guess is the feel <hes> because it does give more of a cold like empty feel to it. So you know you go without over worrying about oh. It was just summer a week ago. <hes> then we have yeah we have adrian is handler comes in and and you know things that maybe she can flip christopher because i mean i wouldn't blame adriana thinking that because christopher just talking about how you could just kill them and and it wouldn't matter so maybe he'll be go along with this f._b._i. Thing and they can be together yeah and they say like like mentioned tonight. It's like confirmed by wiretaps though we actually do know that he hates them but like the wiretap wouldn't be able to tell that he's just saying that shit a deep down. He's never gonna tony. At least it doesn't look like it now even though he probably should and it would be great for them and like oh well. Can we give them like he wants to be a screenwriter okay. I'll put a call to and they mentioned some sam sam goldwyn. Who's a producer or whatever. I don't know if that's a joke. A few makes aches like mob movies or whatever i is might be a bit beyond me and he died in seventy four. Maybe they were talking about the junior anyway not important so yes they they agree like and importantly say that if she's not wearing a wire we won't be able to guarantee your safety but like the cold cold hearts of these f._b._i. Agents it's like yeah. It's a gamble. What are we gonna lose. If something does go wrong who knows they must have been talking documents samuel golden junior who did found cemil golden films in the year two thousand so at least k mob movies i was i was just hoping that it would be like some joke or if he maybe it was. It wasn't a joke. It was just a real a real offer i. I don't know i'm reading into much into i'm seeing i'm on there like page right now and seeing a lot of like cornball i mean these are new ones. It looks like there are a lot of indie movies. I don't know maybe at the time yeah anyway so we're well but this will just sopranos. Is you pick up little things like what. What does this mean. I it's like i have so much trust in them putting in little references that i'm like. Let's unpack this. That's usually like some film from the twenties. That's like really important. Important sheds a lot of light on whatever's going on but maybe not this time. If you know what it is just <hes> shows you know show what he does also mentioned one of their other informants <hes> a- as well twelve yeah which i think is raymond raymond curto or something like that. That's the guy who pose yeah. The we see we like every now and then they kind of remind us that he's been given information but he's always asking for like itemized bills and like money like to be reimbursed and stuff like that. Yes that's right <hes> so at cetera. Eli's tony gets a call from some guy in brooklyn to let them know that the younger guy dropped out of the tennis match and yeah they came to an agreement and everyone's what he's dead. <hes> chickened out 'em paulie. Walnuts is like right. He's like fucking newydd cave and this so much in this is like what people think of you. We remember that from one little carmine was introduced and it's like tony was accused of legitimizing ising him by going to have a word with him about carmine and then it's like well now. He's thinks he's a big player and now other people think that because you went to talk to him but now it's like yeah. It's the opposite opposite that obviously he just goes. Oh wait. I'm not a big player. Let's fuck this yeah. I got tony thinks that too when he first gets the call that he's dead and it's like no and then they asked the same question shen and then when pauli pauli shits on little carmine but he also kinda shits on johnny because yeah you we we know that he doesn't have the greatest history with them and he doesn't and like you know his whole thing that he had johnny was a season four. I guess were potentially. He thought he was being buttered up to be like the new boss or whatever yeah yeah yeah they have some. I mean tony says like yeah was time. This would have been great for us because we had a gallon gray was johnny and he's a clever guy hi but like he's always had a big head and now he's going to have an even bigger had and i and these like gets angry released early speaking of not getting angry easily but the next next scene is where adriana spills the beans about what's what's up and i really thought that he might killer. We're right there so i hold it for a long time <hes> and yet because he punches her and he searched choking your and it's it's fucking. It's really rough 'cause like her. Eyes are like bulging out and it's like holy shit yeah. He's gonna kill her right here and he's like how could you do this. A to us and then like seems like pretty much. I like the last second kind of he. You know stops. Sir holds himself back. It's great scene in general because he's being christopher at the start where she's like the where he's like. Where the fuck of you you better. I have to tell you about this being christopher and then she's like danielle and he's like she set you up and she's she's like she was an f._b._i. Agent at it's like you can't be christopher right now. I get that shit outta here. It's like breaking his world bit by bit it and so first he's just into shock there and she's rambling on about what's been going on and how i thought it was fine and i was trying to protect you at all that just tips tips over and he attacks her again. He's beaten her up before and much alleges earlier rent. This is in his world more justified. You know comparatively 'cause. I don't remember why the fuck they were <hes> getting to such extreme situations before but you're up that time because because she couldn't have a baby and christopher such i when he's like yeah. You didn't tell me your damaged goods or something like that. I mean like dragged her out of the apartment apartment yeah and yeah and now he's choking her crying and say that he fucking loved her and and like aac totally collapses afterwards breaking down and he says he's sorry over and over and yeah good scene yeah yeah it's fucking intense powerful stuff and yeah yeah. He's lead kind even heap the buildups really good to like. They're both doing <hes> like great work. Because is the way it's pushing in on her. She's kind of trying to explain and then it's pushing in on christopher as yeah like you said he's in shock and then he's blinking and he's kinda taking it all in it's like really all you could see it all kind of bubbling to the surface <hes> and then yeah just comes out <hes> then we kind of cut back to tony be league gives tony a call <hes> this time he kind of talks to him and he's like apologizing for putting him in this shit situation. Someone may need to take care of his kids. Tony's he's like oh yeah what what's one more thing i do for you. <hes> and then tony decides to come clean about his his panic attack actor. He had <hes> back in the day when he missed going on the robbery or whatever the fuck you was they were doing that. He get arrested and much like i. I think probably most things in life that we carry a lot of guilt and shame about tony eggs. Reaction is one of befuddle moment rather than like oh. I can't believe believe you told me this and it was actually that and it's like if he'd said i set you up and sent you away intentionally then. It'd be like what the fuck but it's like. Oh you were so ashamed that you fell over and hit your head that you can tell me like it doesn't really make a difference to him but to tony it's such such a huge thing that he's been carrying around and we know he has the trap on the line so it's like this is him kind end of selfishly berry selfishly going like i want to get this out before i kill you is the implication and that's why he can do it so easily as as well kind of and it's on the phone it's a bit easier but like because their relationship is not gonna go back to what it was. He can let it out and tony egg is like <hes> <music>. This is why you gave me the casino and doesn't say anything. He's like okay. Whatever weird yeah no. I think you totally nailed. It's just more about tony here. I mean i guess either way. It is but yeah he's only coming clean because yeah. It's a selfish act act because he understands that he's kinda gonna give his get. His location and things probably won't end well for tony. I guess the weird thing this shows done is that that it was a it's always been hard to gauge like who tony b is because we spend time with them sometimes but like they've always hinted did that. He's he's like jealous tony but then again i guess it's not so much study blamed him. Antonio is kinda. Tony always blamed himself because she was weak or whatever <hes> but it it does work and it is kinda. It's great that he it to him. It's like oh whatever i guess but to tony soprano so it's a big deal i mean it is certainly true that he was jealous of everything that tone you had because he didn't go away but in a weird way and that's part of why he threw out in the fat jokes and everything but then it's like he does that with everyone as well and that's just part of who he is and and i think he would be equally jealously. It's just that not only do they share the name and the family but it's also like we are reflections of what could have been in each other's lives and to to tony soprano. That's harsh because he sees himself as he should have been weirdly league stronger. He wouldn't have had a panic attack after a fight with his mother he would have gone away. <hes> whereas <hes> tony egg just sees it as is is just the random chance of the universe man this fucking sucks but he doesn't necessarily put as much personal blame towards tony soprano i think now i agree and actually before we go any further the guy that matisse killed you have to throw them up on the old counter correct. This is absolutely correct me if i'm dying up on on there when we get that up on john melena get that up on episode episode why did murder number or death number fifty one walkout sixteen still trailing a bit behind our white white have another one coming up there. Maybe tony does some investigation figures out that he's just hanging out on the farm. All that'll be a good location for a climactic tactic moment next episode or will it because it's the sopranos so i don't know how he figures that out by by calling the old man who lived down that so back to adriana and christopher and it's been like ours the sun is out and ah adriana is almost like sees she's doing it. She's slipping him. He's like you know. Maybe we could live by that. Lake or that kind of lake you loved you could start rioting and he says is do my memorize. Finally it's like he's thinking about it and bike even though their relationship is not perfect far are from it. They actually could do this thing they could do except he can't well one of my favorite details. I don't know why but i just i love it is that she's like and we'll get a fireplace like you like and just the fact that christopher like it. Maybe has made mentioned in the past like oh be great. If you had a place at the fireplace fireplaces fireplace do it makes things nice and cozy and homey and christopher just once a nice relaxing place by the water with a fireplace where you can you know write the great american erkin novel yeah yeah those that gets some cigarettes and to clear his head and she wants him to have his cigarettes gretz or her cigarettes because well yeah yeah so anyway he heads out. She has the call and ask for an extension. Get some more time on there. He is at a gas station. Is that his car. He's sort of <hes> trailing his fingers long yeah. That's his his big hummer that he has. I think they made mention of it before because yeah he drives basically a humvee some humvee hami like stephen but then he gets a vision vision of a potential future where he sees a white trash family guy with a mullet they get trash bags strapped to the top of their beat up car bunch of kids. She's got another one on the way and the guy even the guy like i like that they hang on him for a second and he has a moment like what do i no. He's not loving and it is fair because if he didn't have this in his life he would be the most white trash person ever like that's just his personality analogy so yeah. He looks at that adrian's at home packing gets a phone call where the phone call is from tony who i i thought was off on a different storyline but he pops in here says that christopher tried to commit suicide and that so silvio's ceos on the way to pick her up and she sort of having a breakdown there and we get to see her matt damon style driving off towards awards california shoddy ankles. Oh yeah good one hundred. I think he's gonna love this new life life. I mean i did you buy it. Did it got me gov me jim. They called me with this one and i. It's like i thought ought wow this is yeah. They got me and i don't know how to even talk about it. 'cause it's embarrassing i. I don't think he's been very thing. I think i think because it it shows how good the show is but it's also like looking at it back a bike. It's the sopranos jangled they did show it to me to be fair and usually they wouldn't show something. It's not real unless like they tell you by having <hes> somewhere over the rainbow playing on the radio whatever the fuck but yes no she's she's driving off towards california but now she's noxious which is simply carbon sylvia a brief little fantasy there and i. It's such a shame. I think it gets everyone so. I don't think you have any shame to worry about for that. Because it's such uh-huh i think they just take advantage of like you're hopeful like okay. That's one way to end that character. She's just going to go off like not that that would ever end well because even if she went to california he's he's got feds looking for whatever like something would eventually happen but then it it's even more heartbreaking to then cut to her looking out the window and silvio's in the car because even with the what about the christopher suicide thing did that kind of get you to or what at least that's a little like maybe could be who knows those type thing right. The double got me. Jim okay all right. It's the devil guy doubt me on both fronts and i i yeah it's maybe it's just hard to talk. It actually makes me sad like thanks david chase but yeah they got me and it's okay. It's not embarrassing. It is embarrassing how how long it took me to put things together that part's embarrassing it. It is genius low because christopher easily could have done that yet and and she easily could have done that of getting in the car and heading off and weirdly the show itself would tell us that christopher for had tried to kill himself by having it in a weird phone call day would also do that. All parts of it are believable so yes they. They got me on both fronts where i i think they're going to the hospital and sylvia was acting really weird and i'm still an idiot and i'm still like even at this point. You're still kinda hopeful. That's even hopeful. I'm i'm. I think it's because i'm already like reeling from the i flip of her in the car and that's i'm. I'm even like reorienting myself still so it's honestly not until they drive off white in the woods and i'm mike i'm idiot. That's what i say to myself. L. because silvio was acting real weird <hes> which i stopped to get something to eat but you know to get to the hospital before tony and she's so emotional that she's not thinking straight and he says stuff like other. Keep him a few days and for observation but he'll he'll. It's torture sure the fact that sylvia was still doing that when they're in the woods and he's like hey. What do you cry. He's gonna be fine like i'm like oh. My god dude like stop like it's stephen moore worse now the way you're the way you're acting like what's going to happen isn't going to happen and and <hes> yeah so it does go on for awhile and he says he's a strong kid chrissy and she's they're crying. <hes> like we said like is going to be fine and then then he's turned off the woods and it's kinda like pristine like the the leaves are falling. It looks beautiful <hes> but it gets to the point yeah. He has to drag her out of the car. He calls her account and from a lot of the <hes> the talk like there's some listings on <hes> wicky here that <hes> well for the well actually no mention this i is that i guess <hes> steven van plays. Silvio was kind of really down on having to do this. He didn't want to like do this scene because it was i mean we're talking about a character. That's been there since day. One never mind people that i'm working on this show for years and working with people <hes> and it's like she was talking about. I think it was <hes> okay. There's an ama on reddit. <hes> all of us had known. I already eddie that. My character was dying. Steven van zandt was actually the most pissed off about it. He didn't wanna do it. He's he didn't wanna do it all and i had to talk him into how awesome it was going to be <music> now important it was he didn't wanna pull me out of the car. He didn't wanna call me. The c word you wanna shoot me in the head but david chasing specific point not to show my character actually getting being the bullet to her head. I'm not sure if that was cliffhanger reasons but he said it was for respect to the character. I think david chase does mention. They ask him about that and soprano session and he kind of doesn't remember really but he says it was. I think he does say like i feel like maybe i didn't even want to do it like i. Kinda didn't wanna kill the character soon. A weird way way doesn't show wit but it's also we know a lot of cases and especially in a case like this. It's kind of worse not to see it in a way and let your imagination but the people did cling to the idea that they thought that she was somehow still alive liked jakup with a double ghetto malls but they were still holding on <hes>. You know that she's there and i think david chase does specifically talk about that. He wanted he did want to use it. As a fake out where at the end of the episode we go back to the woods and you hear russ rustling in the leaves but then it just tony walking by and i guess he kinda wanted to fake us out again to almost think like we're gonna cut back and adriaan is alive but what would that have meant like what was she going to be like a die hard like all of a sudden. I'm alive killed me. When you had the chance yeah no yeah they wouldn't do that. Usually those sorts of things where i won't name names but say in another show where they're like like all these characters live and it's like i know that character is not alive because that would be bad writing. It's not that like yeah. It's true maybe you didn't see them on screen green but if they came back that would be worse than this show is so i know that's not the case and i think that's it here as far as not seeing her die weirdly. I think the previous death helps because there's a brutal like close up like we said he didn't even like this. Character didn't even need to die but we have that violence islands in the episode to sort of balance out the camera moving away and i like you said it it's kind of worse because now you get to imagine edging it but then it would be pretty bad that see it as well to be honest so no good way to do it really think about it yeah because it's not like status baratheon showing up later on on because everyone's like he's alive god damnit with specifically what i was thinking yeah whatever whatever well. Let's put it up on the counter then because we go ad number <hes> good old fifty two. That's the big one for sure like we said and then so we have christopher packing bags and sort of the disorienting way that the episodes so it's been put together with several flashbacks there's been like three different flash banks if you count philly and tony and then adrian a story and then her our dream sequence of driving away and now we have him packing a bag and i'm like okay so he did wait what he didn't know this was happening. He's going doc on the offer and then he drives off and throws the bag like in in a random dump location which puts the car and i guess was the area where they i tony was gonna shoot him in the head and tony saved them yeah and then he puts the car into long term parking the name of the episode and and yeah we don't check in with him and so a bit later i we have a meeting with tony and the new heads of new york yep jonny johnny sack and jonny sack already kind of making. It hurt a bit like i won't be meeting you like this anymore. It's undignified because now he's boss. He's like he's even though tony's the boss as as well but johnny's like a better boss because he's from new york and you know it'd be bothered doing this stuff. Tony makes a couple reasonable requests because he's gonna give up tony be here but well i. He wants to do it himself. Because his cousin then he wants at least like hey just telling me. It's going to be quick and like all johnny would have to do is just like oh yeah. It's going. It'd be quick but then let phil do whatever you know <hes> but he's not going to do that either. <hes> tony takes a couple steps away like i guess kind of processes it like thinking about it. They do kind of back to johnny sack for a moment and he's like spitting out a fingernail or something which i thought was funny because i don't. I don't know if tony's like sizing them up here like you know who's this man. You think you're better than me. They can tell me what to do because he basically comes back and says go fuck yourself. He's my cousin yeah. I mean pretty pretty bad ass. This is all in the midst of tony basically sanctioning assisting and causing the death of an innocent woman more or less innocent and and i'm still like damn that's bad as line when he comes back like how's this pertaining to find. Go fuck you so i'll give you a dignified. Provide is is a really nice line because of how i don't know it is like it is obviously about tony and and everything but it's also like like this is the new situation we're going to be in. You're gonna come in and tell me that this is undignified. I'm not going to be your lackey like how our future negotiations gonna work. If if you can't even talk to me on any type of respectful level like we've barely been able to do before when you were number two and you were still threatening to murder my whole family family. You know what i was reasonable. Go fuck yourself yeah yep then we have yet christopher snorted a little h he's highest highest fuck watching the three amigos. <hes> you know he just can't stand the pain and it's like i still kinda. I feel forum in a weird way but even though like he's the cause of it obviously like in adriaan as the innocent but you know it's like he said <hes> that's that's the guy my uncle tony going help for them and what oh tony like beat the shit out of right. I guess he's he's like you think you're the only one feels pain or whatever and it's like yeah. You're still upset about tony which is fine but what christopher just did was actually a lot worst you fucking asshole because tony egg was someone who went out and did something really really stupid and he bought into this life and he was not just someone who happen open to love the wrong person so kind of lucky tony yeah and then we we check back in with the feds real quick and you know oh maybe she could've gotten away. She could be in china vi- now <hes> but it's just this cold like there's no sympathy that they kind of indirectly actually caused this woman's murder because they didn't keep up with it properly. It's just like another dead in and the case god damn that's kind of the handlers the i don't remember her name but her that's her sympathy showing when she's like no she she could be like in china or whatever and the two who of them kind of look down on her for having even that barest level of connection with her informative like yeah sure china. Let's go with that because she just kind of leaves. The room afterwards and they're like well. You know we could take over the case or whatever and get another lamp. I guess yeah yeah they're gonna take over. The murder case may usually back. You haven't seen the last two him. <hes> then we see i mean i i think when i originally watched this. I was always under the impression that they killed adriana at the spec house sites but i mean it doesn't necessarily surly have to be the same site does it. It's just you know the woods the they're out in the woods. I'm fairly sure it's not the same buddy i mean like. You said they do fakers out of it because it's like the leaves were very central in that scene and then we just slow we even like move the camera up and now we're moving the camera down and we land on the leaves antonis mantovani's walking in but he's just walking checking out the site there with carmella and again just removing those trees like it's not it's not even flat ground. Largest does lot aught six hundred k. That's a lot but <hes> yeah sure whatever now it's a matter it's tony. I kind of feel like tony has like a mini attack almost here. It feels like right. Do you see that at all the way he has to go and sit down and she kind of asks if he's okay yeah i think this is the mirror image of her looking at him on the couch. Obviously not about losing the six hundred k. like everything else going but yeah no he definitely does the the tony blink that he does when he's like sort of waking up from staring off into space and yeah i as a sit down if you will and and it's not necessarily zarrella just for like adriana. It's like you sounds more the whole like everything. That's going on between the marriage. The spec house is this deal. They have now the tony e situation the new york situation and to an extent adriana as well. I mean i guess that is kind of why they threw that seen in earlier earlier where they do have a moment. Even i do think it's for nefarious purposes like he he was friendly and did like adriana yeah but i don't think he's thinking of her at all to be honest. It's still in line with the christopher's rant. He still cares more about tony b <hes> than anything else and he's like oh no and maybe adrenals part of it but more than circumstantial sort of way of like this is the weird life. I built for myself where people we'll just kinda die in it. It's not like he doesn't think it's his fault just like death happening right now. Yeah why in plus even if i. I think that it's part of it. It's not like i feel like there's that much sympathy or care that they had to do it but i don't know i guess it's just the you know the the the enormity of everything in the the life of tony soprano yeah <hes> cooper in the chat says favorite episode <hes> by far the ending scene in the woods floors every time yeah yeah and then the sign that comes in i guess the song that comes in is would i just had <hes> sean samantha wrapped in my memory and i guess when she's leaving they play sean smith song leaving california when they have that fake oh but then it kinda like <hes> is playing i think it's playing on the radio or something like that like when it cuts from the being like the soundtrack to her escape to then just being on the radio in the soundtrack to her her daydreams and it's it's one of those classic like a lot of these songs not that they're big songs anyways but when you go to them on youtube most of the comments are going to be like adriana sopranos no ronald robbie here of course <hes> yeah so pretty big episode <hes> it's the penultimate one of this season <hes> tony v.'s gonna die next episode as my prediction i mean it's been pretty heavily. <hes> you know foreshadowed what i expect. Maybe something unexpected happen but i feel more like it was even with expecting her like her storyline not to work out great. It's still shocking king the way this episode goes. I don't think they need that much shock in the next episode. I'm interested to see how they wrap up the season and get us ready for for the next one but this episode in itself is so good that it's like yeah. No this was this was worth the not. Maybe maybe not the lamp but you know the scene where one of the agents was scoping out a adriana when they were going to tennis like seasons in seasons ago and that's like all of that builds up to this cold detachment that they have the feeling of yeah i i don't know just all of their relationship for so long has been so central i have never seen a christopher that doesn't exist where they drown next to him or close to him or fighting with him and that's going to be christopher i for the rest of the show or for the rest of his presence on the show so i i have no idea what christopher's like <hes> not to make the suffering of this woman all about how it affects man but i am a man. That's what i do so anyway. Great episode is what i'm saying yeah absolutely great stuff and yeah one more to go for this season then we go into season six which is split into two so basically after we finished season five we have twenty twenty one episode of the sopranos little under a standard to season episode counts so we are quickly coming up upon the end <hes> a very exciting it is very exciting and if you want to keep up with that and all the other shows we discussed such as handmaid's tale game of thrones several others <hes> <hes> just check out shows but you know dot com or search for shows what you know on your podcast of choice you can of course also lever view on i tunes which would be very much appreciated beyond beyond that there is a gymnasium dot com for more from jim awesome pedia dot o._r._g. For more from me and in addition there's just one more thing jim oh yeah. What's that cut to black.

Tony christopher link tony b Tony soprano carmella antonia tony carmont silvio chris i new york tony egg david chase adriana terence winter tim van patten tony v. Jim phil ralphie billy robbery
Making Impressive, Basic Meals and Becoming a Food Blogger w/ A Cozy Kitchen

Food Heaven Podcast

42:48 min | Last month

Making Impressive, Basic Meals and Becoming a Food Blogger w/ A Cozy Kitchen

"The phone podcast is a deer media production. Hi i'm wendy. And i'm just and you're listening to the food having podcast. You're online resource for inclusive and accessible wellness. Welcome back everyone. We've recorded this intro three times already. We have me all types of audio issues but yes Still kinda have the same level of excitement to talk about it a yes. Today's guys at the anna gotta about me. Who for those of you. Who are like who. Who's the never never heard that name before you might know her by a cozy kitchen. She has really popular blog. And i g we absolutely love her. One of her recipes completely changed my life. It is my go-to pancake recipe. It's like this lemon ricotta Battery recipe that is to die for and she's authored two books. She has a really cool coloring book about food and cooking and then she has a cookbook called the year of cozy. We actually i started sliding and adriano. Dm's i think during the pandemic We kind of similar work. Like money's edgy. Creates recipes gorgeous recipes. And it's always fun chow with her because she's very open. She's very down to earth and she will ki key with uber. Hours like walking my dog sending her voice notes back and forth for like an hour just about like being fresh shaded with certain things or getting validation on other stuff so we were like you know what you need to come on the podcast so we can just talk all the behind the scenes of the food blogger world and also get some ideas from her with her gorgeous practical recipes on how other people who are feeling burned out can incorporate some ideas into their routine. One thing that you'll notice about this episode actually two things. There is some cursing there are some f bombs dropped. So if you have little ones or if you don't feel comfortable put that headset on child and as mentioned there's issues with the audio on my part so it may be the audio that you normally hear. It's a little bit janke but we wanted to include just the original conversation before we jump in. I'm going to go ahead and read a listener review so this review says great resource and entertaining very informative and you've introduced us to so many issues guests in resources we might not have known about. You clearly are experts and know the research but you deliver great content in an accessible way. Thanks thank you for that. Very nice review our mp sinti appreciate it and yes so if you have in already if you haven't already if you haven't already come django girl come on guys already. Take a minute head on over to i tunes jobs some stars leave somewhere if you want but the stars are fine. We'll take that pefectly five all right so we're going to happen so one of the questions that i have always had for you know we're in the dmz lot. But i keep forgetting to ask is like all of that food. What do you do with all of the food that you make it. Look so good. I mean literally all it looks amazing. I'm just like okay. It seems like you're making multiple recipes a day where it is. I mean maybe you eat it all. I don't know where does it go. Everyone everyone asks us everyone else's so usually typically pre covid in even a little bit during covid my My friend billy who works of meetings worked with me for a really long time would come to my house and stay with me for three days and we'd pound out. A bunch of recipes are so i'd end up with like we probably do in those three days. We probably do like seven eight recipes and usually those would like go to neighbors savory stuff we would eat you know we kind of like mix it up. Most of the savory stuff is eaten like whether it's like in the moment or like leftovers or whatever over the course of a couple of days. I said this. I've said this before like there's this thing where like you're making something especially if it's like a cake or something where it stresses me out and it annoys me by the time it ends of working out unlike. I don't even really want it. Yeah so i give it to my neighbor neighbor next door so i usually try to give it away. Yeah that makes sense. I was too 'cause like yeah with. I'm like okay with kobe. But it's like your name. I mean i. I've done the same thing with me. I give them so much because we get a lot of free products from different brands. And i mean which grateful but sometimes it's just like. Oh my god so i give a lot and i think they're the my neighbors next door acsi like the last time i give them a box. Something they're like. Were good you know. The i feel like i've been like start donating stuff to like shelters or whatever the yeah anyway because it's just a lot but yeah they call my house the pantry. I'm over and they're like. Where's my pantry. Bag gotcha food come over. I'm like okay. What can i give them like a. Yeah like everyone's leaving with a little pan or survive swag true you like just like whatever i have so much of it comes through the door and i'm just like it actually sometimes construct the i know i'm like a brat but like the boxes. I'm just like oh my god out today. What is it say. Oh absolutely i said the apollo like once a week a marco polo once a week like having a meltdown about all the boxes. I just can't like. I don't like stuff like here either. I where it's like everything i want. I have thank you. And i know what i really paying much. But i'm like unless it's like unless you're giving me a fucking gucci bag like a. Yeah yanno were always about the flavor in food. That is my number one priority flavor. I so i'm always you know making sauces and marinades and dips and all the things and one of the ingredients. That i have been using. I would say for at least ten to fifteen years now. It has been a goto in my cupboard. Its brag liquid amino if you have not heard about brag before me fill in a their podcast sponsor this week which was a slam dunk because we love the product and be liquid amino our vegetable protein sickening. Many non gmo verified soybeans. It is an original formula that was created by health. Pioneer paul c bragg. There's so many different ways to use liquid ame- knows they are an excellent gourmet replacement for tamari horse desire sauce or soy sauces. Brags liquid amino happen to be gluten free so some people who may have ceac opt for this instead of sway sauce which has gluten also they can be used as a seasoning at the table or as i mentioned during cooking so it's perfect for stir fries soups dressings and even marinades. Now y'all know we got that hook up so all you have to do is go to. Www dot brag b. r. a. g. g. dot com and use code food. Fifteen for fifteen percent off your first order. That's brag dot com using the code food fifteen fifteen percent off also wanna let you know that they have a line of sight or vinegars. They've added some new products into that category. So if you're someone who likes making different salad dressings and using apple cider vinegar. Those products might be for you to onto that. I want to talk about recipes because you poso many of them. And i don't think a lot of people know like the behind the scenes of what goes into a recipe and i feel like you're the perfect person to ask this because i see you on on the. Id stories like this is my third. Go round out this recipe. So how many times are you testing recipes. And like what happens if the recipe kind of sucks like do you make yourself eat it or do you throw it out like what what exactly happens. It depends what i making. Usually savory recipes are never like a complete fail so like. I'll make them for dinner. Something and then i'll eat them and be like Kind of needed a little something like this. It needed a little something like that. Because i think with cooking. It's just a little bit easier to make changes as you go And make tweaks as you go and then you can. I kinda eat. The final fagin. Like think about it. So savory number goes to waste or anything like that there are times. Were like a cake. A if i test cake or like a baked good or something like that. And there's like a dip in the center and it's raw center. I mean. I can't give that to anybody. It's like disgusting but for the most part. That generally doesn't happen that much. Just because i kind of have like. I'm going off of other recipes. That i have on my site so i'll go. Okay this is i'm gonna. The foundation is going to be this other races. So and that. I'm making all of these tweaks so usually it's generally flavor by you know that baking soda baking powder measurement can really did like really changed things a lot so there are times where it's just like it just straight up sake in his turn on like that's not edible. You know yeah and it kind of just needs to be remade and like dialed in again. But you know it kinda depends. How many recipes sometimes make recipes on league. I know people are going to make this. And i nailed it the first time. I'll take photos. But i just in my head on like i have to make sure that it works to make it again to make sure that it's dialed in. Just because when. I post something not all the time but when i post something if it looks good in it's doable like somebody will make it within the hour. Oh yes so. It's like that thing has to be dialed in. I can't i feel like that you. I would feel bad if something didn't work. And i think with baking it's people can't take their own liberty. They've just trust me. you know. Yeah that's why he got all the followers girl like pressure. You know. Just like oh. Gosh you're like such a. I feel like you're kind of a perfectionist when it comes to this stuff which is why. Trust your recipes so much like i'm seeing you piping like many strawberries. And i'm just like let me pray for her 'cause i hope i hope her sanity is still there after she's done all these many carrots so like is that meditative for you or does it make you go a little crazy sometimes. No it gives me like a sense of peace in happy. Good okay it gives me. I think that the thing that i do love about cooking as that it's meditative and i can just be like in my own worlds like recently. I've gotten into like music. Piano composition like an. Just go on. Youtube and lincoln listens like these pianists do like covers of song but aren't really piano like they were not composed for the you know. They adopt them to the ghetto. And like i'm just like in my zone. And i'm just like this is like i love this. This is like mixing so happy. I am grateful that i still love to cook like sometimes i'm just like oh well i actually do love doing okay. So it doesn't get old because for me the more i have to do it as a job the more i don't like it but for you. That's not the case. There are times when. I'm definitely tired of. I'm usually more tired of the cleanup and the and the actual doing it like if it's like it's like a lot of times i'm just like i cannot have to order something tonight and it's i just cannot bring myself to clean another thing. It's the cleaning up to be honest. It's not really bummed me out especially during life. Early co vid. When i i was working and cooking everything i felt like i was lake. Just cleaning the kitchen. like thirty. Six hours straight of media was insane. Well that's one thing that i noticed too in your your videos. It just all looks so perfect. And i always in my mind. Think when i see stuff because another person who were looks perfect. I'm carleen thomas handles. Oh and i always just wonder what is it really looked like behind the scenes. Because i know when. I'm cooking even if i'm trying my darnedest to make sure that everything is ducks in a row like measles blah whatever you call it like it's still like a hot mess your host what my kitchen looks like after like a busy busy day. Like in la. It's literally like an explosion break a yet because a lot of times. I'm not cooking as i clean necessarily like sometimes. I'm doing that. But i'm also combating light like losing light so that's the top priority is not getting the shots so like the thing where i'm like shooting. It's like yeah that's like perfect. Whatever that look to the right of its beloved of. It's like an explosion in one opt. You know so. I should definitely show that i do. I have done some lake cleaning in stories and people are like obsessed with that. I think it relieves stress a them so yeah people. It was really funny. I posted like how i cleaned my stove. And how i do in like a lot of people are asking questions because it's like everyone wants to know how to clean properly. Not that i have like necessarily the answer. But i definitely i follow this one woman on tiktok and she's a professional housekeeper and she has like the best tips on how to clean things like product jeff sessions and. i'm like. Oh wow. This is like very fascinating. What's her what's her handle. I need to find it but she what she does is. She has a bunch of houses like she lives in texas and her clients like no that she shoots in their house like she asked permission or whatever she'll show like before and after his of like wild lena bathroom or unlike late this is this is interesting content. This is what i fight a. This is what i want is right. This is the content that i need in my life was just looking at one of your reels where you were saying like it was like kitchen organization hacks or something and i was just like oh my god is so genius like what i had like a rack for all the pots and stuff and then you had like little wooden crates for like all of your kitchen. I'm like oh my god these things that i need. Yeah is like the latina marie kondo. Okay oh you like when. I watched rekondo's show and how she folded towels. I was like my mom was like. I've been doing mike. I know right up your alley. You have a bread and so she actually has taken. I had for some reason. I have all these leg roasting racks like where you put a turkey on. I have no idea why never makes her. He had never roast chickens like that so she used those and put them in in these cabinets. That i have for like my cake pans and it was just like a really genius way to like us something that i never use. And she had like three or four them and then she also used that to like stand up my skillets and it's just like she came in with an lake. Redid all of these cabinets in. It's been very helpful. Yeah our podcast sponsor. This week is hello wellness which has a new line of functional wellness smoothies to help to support your wellbeing with brain support and gut health and the cool thing about this product is that you take a scoop and you mix it in with whatever base you leg whether it's almond milk regular milk so i will shake it up and you have a blender free smoothie in minutes all of their smoothies fifteen grams of plant based protein. They taste really good. I'd say all three of them they come in different flavors and there are three different types of products so for the brain health. One every scoop has thirty two grams of omega three. Dha from plant based marine algae the gut health one has five grams of prebiotics fiber and two billion cfu's of probiotics to help him out the gut and then the energy one has one hundred milligrams of caffeine from or coffee. Extracts help you feel alert and energize throughout the day and it also has an excellent choice of vitamin d. To support your immune system you can try out. Hulo wellness at my vega dot com which is m. y. v. e. g. a. dot com. There are also available on amazon and whole foods. all right. we're going to hop back into our so. We were to bring you on to talk about making impressive meals. That looked really fancy but are actually basic. Fuck because i feel like your recipes. They look very elaborate. And i've made some of them and i'm like oh this is actually pretty easy to do. And they're easy to follow. It's something that looks like. I would order it at a restaurant but like like first of all. You're a pancake recipe. I told you. It's like my favorites. Kata kata one. Yeah there were like. I make for everyone and people are like. Oh my god. It's like always a thing. Only thank you the best. So i'm wondering if you can share some eager insight for like making really beautiful like fake elaborate meals. That are actually like really easy to okay. I'll tell you one thing that i've been making recently and making over and over and i'm obsessed with it and it's like a fifteen minute dinner kind of thing. So i took a dumpling class in the beginning of february. With lisa lynne. She has an instagram. It's called hello lisa. Think it's called. And so she she makes like beautiful dumplings beautiful chinese american food and She had like a dumpling class. And so i was like. Oh i wanna take this awesome in lake. The proceeds went to charity and stuff like that so we had to like prep a lot of things like the filling and after i made the filling i was like okay the dumplings i can make but they are very ambitious but the filling i was like i feel like i can eat this over rice. I feel like i can eat this. And add like protein to it. And so i've been making that over and over so it's basically like thinly sliced cabbage in sliced carrot ginger garlic tons of green onions sesame. Oil a little bit of soy sauce. And i just cook that in a pan until everything's just like softens and added like fried tofu or like sauteed chicken oral. Just eat that with like rice. And i'll pop it with like tons of sesame seeds and fresh green onions. And it's like what i say it's like the most beautiful thing in the world. It's not ugly. It certainly not ugly. But it's like the quickest most delicious twenty minute meal but i've been making for myself. That sounds incredible. I am just like tasting the flavors as you're okay so for people who regular people right who don't cook for a living and get really burnt out. what are some suggestions especially during the pandemic like everyone has fatigue. What our suggestions for. I don't know whether it's like meal prep or just intuitive cooking. I guess like for making things exciting and not doing the most. I have been really so. I really do like eating salads a lot but i hate making solid like i don really bizarre. I think it's just solid times in order for them to be really good. I feel like they need a lot of components or they need a you like they. I've been making a lot of salads recently. And i've been thinking about what makes a solid good and generally you have like a lettuce. Let's kind of thing. So i've been out of my way to buy like a lettuce. That is like makes me happy. Mike watt though butter lettuce or did you like butter. I also like little gem. So i like to go out of my way and try and i try and mix some of them do a little baby spinach and there with like some ruge and like kind of mix a couple of them too many because then you have like a billion ingredients or need that. So i've been kind of doing that. And then i've also been making this like i've been obsessed with the slight broken vinegar at which is perfect for anyone who's like doesn't want to spend a lotta time make you don't perfecting this like perfectly you know most fi like dressing and it's basically like minced garlic with anchovies and just like kind of put into a paste with orange juice lemon juice in olive oil and i just in like a little mason jar and so i just like i like make a decent amount of so i don't have to keep making it over and over and i just like have it in the fridge and i've been prepping mac and that kind of really helped him. It's so good like it's just like it's like the sweetness from me inch. It's kind of like a hits nicely. You know what else you add. So so for the solid right. Because i know a lot of people you know the salad. The lighter salads is not going to fill up a meal like what are you adding to it to keep you full for like at least three hours will so sometimes croutons okay. So sometimes brad the sandwich. Yeah you know. Usually i'll add like some of cheese. I'll do parmesan pekka rino romano. That i haven't the bridge. Or like if i have a cheddar simulate that advice it up where like all like shaded or whatever i add nuts. I always had nuts my salads. Which i think can link be some up just a little bit and then i try to avoid protein whether that's like chicken or tofu or like salmon or something. I what i've been trying to do. Is i've been tried. Whatever protein night. If i do. I just make a little bit more than put it in the fridge so that i can have it for like the next day for lunch. So that's kind of what i've been doing is like making a little bit more because while i don't really i'm not a big leftovers person like eating the same thing that i eat the night before lunch. I m down with eating the same protein like protein with a different application and. Yeah you know. I love that idea and i also think like making such a bright dress saying like what the anchovies and like citrus. It really helps to bring out the flavors of really simple ingredients. And i think for a lot of people struggling with kitchen fatigue like you know maybe whipping out a can of beans and like throwing them on greens. It doesn't really sound as exciting. But you're telling me about this dressing. And i'm like okay. This solid has got transformed by adding something with so much flavor. You know and it. All of a sudden it becomes a more complete meal yet. I it satisfies you. I also have been playing around with flavored oils. They can kind of be kind of pricey. But like pecan or in walnut in salad. Dressings are like so good. And i've been kind of laying around substitute in place of in place of the olive oil. I like even sesame oil in that dressing with the orange would be so good with like a cabbage salad. Or something like yeah. I love like flavored oils. They're like my jam. I i definitely invest a little bit of money to get those flavored oils and they come lasts a long time honestly like as long as they're kept the lincoln dark place. They go big kindle. Rancid what you can keep them in the fridge or whatever. Hey there let's talk sleep. According to the cdc one in three adults in the us don't get enough sleep and our friends at mama wanna teach that you've heard of cbd. I'm sure and if you're listening to this show. You're familiar with pajama cvt products. But have you heard of c. n. it's a lesser known non psychoactive sleep cannabinoid by my husband's launched their sleep while dummies sleep wellness and immunity. All one delicious gummy. The all natural bedtime supplement is formulated with a unique blend of d. cb n. n. Melatonin for a better night's sleep plus elderberry extract to support the immune system. Cbd c. b. n. Are pretty much a match made in heaven. When they're paired together these two compounds can create a powerful and relaxing sleep aid. That's one hundred percent. Thc free so you don't have to worry about getting high. Elderberry has been used for thousands of years to support the immune system. All these ingredients work together to support the body's circadian rhythm and whole body health. You can rest easy. Knowing betcha mama sleep all gumy's are also tripled up tested and clean label project purity awarded. You can get twenty five percent off your mama order using the code food heaven you can go to potomu. Cbd dot com. That's p. a. c. h. a. m. ama cbd dot com and. Makoto is going to be food. Heaven for twenty five percent off a better night's sleep so tell us what your day to day. Looks like because we're nosy and like we're always curious like with people that are you know creating like this beautiful content and like their life kind of evolves around food when it comes to work like what is happening during the day like on a typical. Dare you making recipes than are you like. What are your extracurriculars like top. Everything so usually get up at like seven. The first thing that i do. And this is kind of like new in quarantine going trading with my trainer for like maybe a year and so i wake up at seven. And then i'll go to his house like at eight and i trained from eight to nine and i've really been into like lifting weights And i like love lifting weights like it's kind of before i would do like hit at a hate. Hit like there's this things i'm like. Oh i hate all these workouts. Like i don't have i can just do things that i like so i've gotten really into lifting weights because i feel like it's a lot of sports growing up and so i feel like this is like another sport which i really liked like we. We all go up in weight. And i'll feel like it's like a sport. I'm just like this is. This is so fun. i can't believe i'm can. I'm like you compete with yourself a lot which is much better and feel satisfying so. I'll train with him from like eight to nine. And then i'll usually after that. I kind of have like what i need to pick up at the grocery store if i do and i kinda like to go to the grocery store in person because deliveries always always mess up my order or something that i end up having to god anyway just like you know what. Let me just go take care of it. So after that. I'll usually stop at the grocery store and pick up what i need for the day if i'm recipes recipes testing or sometimes i mostly do a combo of like recipe testing and shooting. I don't shoot every day for sure. There's days where i just do. Computer work at it. But like on days. That i'm actually shooting stuff. I'll pick up all the groceries and then on just like come home. And then i dive into like emails doing social figuring out what my like attack plan for the day and i have better light in the afternoon so that kind of gives me like a couple of hours to be able to kind of do all of that and then i'd start a come into the kitchen. I make sure the kitchen is clean ready to go. And i usually is because i'm pretty good at cleaning the kitchen that night because it drives me insane like wake up and just like a mass and then yeah and then i just like i start and usually my key time. If it's sunny outside the best light is from like thank god that the time has changed but right now. It's about two to five. So i try and shoot all the heroes during that time. Everything else before. I don't really care cakes by what that means for people who aren't loggers so so So you know for the for my actual site. I do a lot of all steps. I'll shoot the steps. Not every step but i think it's helpful for people to see where they can just check themselves where they are e If i'm shooting a real sometimes. I wish it's very challenging for me to shoot a recipe photo for the site and real at the same time or lincoln tiktok. So i sometimes do i suppose force myself to but so really. I want the best light for the hero shot. Which is the final finished dish shot. Because that's the thing that's going to go on my feed. That's the thing that's featured on pinterest in on my site. The steps if i have like mediocre light. Don't really care. I can fix it in post but for the actual hero shot. I really want light to be really good. And i have a small window for that so i really make sure that i try to type. It sometimes not great. I mean sometimes. I'm taking the shot. I'm just like got him to fix this impose. Either losing the light or it's too early or whatever what are some other like behind the scenes things that people might find surprising. Just like in your work a fulltime food blogger from. I mean. I guess i don't know if they'd find it surprising but the amount of mass that i make is okay is like mind blowing sometimes just only gone and the amount of acquitted but the amount of kitchen equipment that i have i if it doesn't feel like a lot but when i look at it and i'm like oh i have a lot of stuff need it. I need it. Because of what. I do eight but i don't think like the typical person needs it. You know yeah you need to do some real like just making fun of all. The mez arrive. Mario idea because it just blows my mind. You know. it's just like a god. So i mobile pence cobra show like shull all clean and then she'll clean you know we'd is different than mine and she'll like again she'll go in yes yes she goes. Oh my god. So there's a lot of food content right now. There's a lot of like food trends period. Like i know. Recently it was like the baked. Fateh with got though. I think she did it with barada with iraqi on it. Yeah i was like if i see one more dam bates fetish though look at it was just like taking over my feet. So i'm wondering like are there any food trends that you've come across the no. You're like talk but trends that you're like okay. Please go away and don't come back. Oh i mean tiktok. A lot of the transatlantic talk in food are terrible. Like the the cloud brand. Did you see that. And now it was over the summer it was like i think it was adopted from lake a kito bread or something but everyone was just making it because it was like. Oh this is cloud radin. It was basically just like egg whites with. I'm not sure if it had a little bit of flour in it or something else and then just die and food. Coloring is tasted awful. Who school for the town. Ross it was disgusting but everybody in their mom was making it. There's a lot of those types of trends. Like i. Just don't even jump on because i'm just like i know i'm not gonna like this and you know it's just not my thing the fed pasta. I was actually genuinely curious. If i didn't think it would be good because it is not a really melty type of its kind of chives of but you know what it is. I think people are bored. And i think people are sad. Engages need to do something that was in. It is a really easy like you. Just put the tomatoes and everything in a casserole dish or whatever and then the fed than you just mixing the pasta. It was just like okay. So i think it was just something for people to do. And that's what people need right now did you did you make with fateh. I did try to was okay. Wasn't like really good. I was like okay. This is this is it was. It was not bad. But it's the textra of fettah is kinda chaki. Yeah oh yeah. It's it's really great and that forbade but at the same time i did see one person Made the pasta queen. I don't know if you follow her She she an italian cheat. She probably didn't like the idea of the dish to begin with but she took the fed and she put heavy cream in a blender and then she blitzed it so it kind of i did the whip fateh. Yeah and then. She added that to the pasta. And it's like made a much more cohesive sauce say things like another step in whatever but i want. I saw that i was like. Oh that actually looks. Looks good yeah. Surprisingly i whips really nicely it does does. You wouldn't be it would break but with if you use heavy cream it hannibal which is kinda pointless but you know what her walk question. I have that we didn't ask. Is i'm just curious. Like how did you even get into this. Like yeah it. And how long did it take you to get to where you are today where you're like doing this full time and really successful alone. Time need is when i started this I started my blog in two thousand ten or two thousand eleven. Yeah and it wasn't a job. I mean it was just like it was something only like i feel like the pioneer was the only person making a living off of it and everyone else was kind of just doing it because they were bored and i was bored. I was working john. Did it really love and it was like. Oh this is like a hobby. This is something i could do on my own and it just felt kind of like a creative outlet that i could do like in my apartment by myself and and you know it took a long time and he had a job for the for good five years with it and there were times when i definitely abandoned it. I didn't post for a while and this was before social media kind of Twitter was around in pinterest was around but wasn't necessarily what it will what it is today obviously wasn't until i kind of like sold beer of cozy as a book that i really event sponsors kind of started to come to me that i was like. Oh actually i can make a living off of this like a real living and then at the same time around that time like maybe a year or so. After i got a i got a manager with da and and then it's like okay now. The rates started to be much more significant in. It just felt like much more legitimized. Yeah that's what i was like. Okay i actually can make a living at this versus and make a career that i would be like proud of you know before that you know i had family members be like what are you doing. I like you spend all that money to go to college and you know what did you study are like what was your career. I went to school for film. So so it's it's funny is family members. Feel like you know you're just wasting your education like you're not doing anything but it's like actually now like i actually put into use like i pick a student loans and like i felt pretty good about paid off those lows dollars lake. I mean i edit. I felt i. I ask a lot of the things that i learned in school like. I mean a lot of it. I learned after it because we diplomacy technology. But you know lot of the rules are applicable. You know. I'm editing. And stuff. Like that i. I learned that in school. You know. yeah yeah you're like look at me. Now that's the way to the bank. This is there anything like if you weren't doing food. Is there anything else that you would be doing. Like if you could be anywhere in the world doing anything but would it be maybe directing movies. I can see what kind of movies. I'm not really sure. I mean i i feel like i. I went to school. Because i wanted to tell stories and i really loved the idea of being able to move people's emotions through story and i felt like that was so powerful and when i was in school i just like really fell in love with filled more than i even didn't when i was a teenager and that that that love's still exists i think now i'm older at a much more aware of the actual industry and so i can see the challenges in that industry of dislike any industry. But if i wasn't doing this. That's probably what i would want to do. And and you know eat. Maybe i'll get to be able to do it at some point. You know i definitely. There's definitely been times in this in the last couple of years where i've been like. I don't know how many years i haven't meet to do this. I kind of i can see a career. Change could be possible. And i hope it rather than it's a quick like quick move this way. It's more of like a roll into something else you know. Yeah i feel like yeah. There's i don i mean maybe there's no like sigma around career change but i'm just like why not like who says we do one thing forever like why can't we have three careers like you can have three solid like ten year careers in a lifetime and be more stimulated potentially or just one career whatever works. I think i like geneva signed. I want that idea honestly. I love the idea of doing different things. We're always changing as people. We don't have just one interest in our lives. Most of us have multiple interest factor times. Those talents that we have from one thing can be folded into the next and a lot of the knowledge that you have from one industry can be transferred over in his applicable. I think doing the same thing for your entire career is while not you know. I think if you're probably a doctor or something like that it's your more. You went to school for them tenures. You're doing either. You know even even as a doctor you know you can go on. You can work for another company and go into business like you know. There's so many things that you can better saw applicable and you can kind of transfer those talents and knowledge to. I think it's kind of fascinated. It's something that i'm definitely interested. I don't know if i can while i still enjoy. I don't know if i could do this when i'm like fifty seven. You know all right. We'll see we'll see what happens. I mean the the whole world is going to be so different. So i think i actually really fascinated by change. I really liked change. So i think i thrive and change a little bit because i get bored very constantly. I've done a lot of research on my sign a late richer sign ba- libra with an area of houses in libra. And we are very like fickle like we liked change. We like things to be constantly moving. Which really makes sense because you get bored with something and it's like a gotta have to do something it which is crazy because our job like doing us. It's like it can be monotonous. You know the consistency is actually. What makes you successful. And so that's why there's times where do this anymore should worry. Yeah yep also well on that note worry about in now i over it. I mean that's real because it's so real like we see all this content it's like oh my god. Everyone is so passionate about what they're doing and it's like half the time we don't want to do this shit. We're just doing that. No no but it's funny. Because when i get frustrated. You're like my go-to because i don't really have like friends. Who are quote influencers which i hate that term and so i don't know maybe like six months ago. We started like deeming like we talk about this. Like i'm so upset about this or distribute crazy like sending voice notes for like an hour. It's like it's actually very therapeutic for me to just be like okay. I'm not crazy. Get this out. Like some of the stuff is like insane. Yes some things are great but some stuff is like no. Do you remember that it would on clubhouse with singer tonight. It's like. I don't wanna listen to on clubhouse. I really just a lot of these conversations. I'm not interested but patty sanger reading men. Yeah why adequate single. I listen to that all day. I know it's yeah patty soap. She's problematic in some ways right like but she's funny because i think she lives for it even every like two minutes he's like okay blasts question berea okay last question. She looks like it's been three hours. And you've been saying last question for three hours like we gotta go patty. let's go. She loved it. Yeah oh she loves every second but okay so for people who are like wanting to learn more about you and support your work. Where do they find you on the interwebs. You can follow me on instagram at cousy kitchen. you can find me on tiktok also cozy kitchen and then of course my website. Who's kitchen dot com. All my recipes. Lived there so you can check out there. Thanks so much for listening to another episode of the food. Heaven podcast if you haven't already make sure to connect with us online. Were most active on the graham at food heaven but also on facebook and twitter at food heaven show. If you like this podcast make sure to rate review. Subscribe in share with a friend. Yup our podcast is released every wednesday and each week. We take a deep dive into topics like health at every size food and culture intuitive eating mental health and body acceptance if you're looking for a sustainable and inclusive path to wellness coming out with us to learn how to take care of yourself from the inside out we'll catch you next time

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Episode #40 "Army of One"

Talking Sopranos

2:15:46 hr | 5 months ago

Episode #40 "Army of One"

"I'm all right. How're you doing all right. I got a little wounded. Willie boy give me a little nick on the head big pours scratch. What is that mug. Is that willie on the monk. My old dog. Maybe not maybe willies. Jealousy sees mad. Yeah that's bobby carly. Those are my dogs that both passed away. I had to be really saying whereas my mug with a focus my mom forget about them did dead. Let's move on. That's what he's probably say. It took a swipe Heard from robyn greene. So i want to clarify a couple of things. Robin green With mitchell burgess wrote many some of the best soprano episodes Good great dear friend of ours. Her brother we spoke about her brother was a psychiatrist. There was that scene you know. We spoke about in the in the sopranos. Wear a related to what say psychiatrists psychologists responsibility when a crime especially something serious like murders. Reveal to them what happened. Robin green's brother received a child molester. As a patient what happened was this guy abused his own daughter and she didn't bring up charges until she was an adult. So maybe twenty years after the case and the judge because it happened so long ago the judge said you don't have to go to jail. You can go to therapy. So he goes to see robin green's brother who says you'd be better off if you turn yourself in and told the judge you need to go in need to do time for this. That would be better than any therapy. I can give you and i'm not gonna treat you and he walked out and said go. Fuck yourself. the guy criminals go fuck yourself and walked out of the office and he never time is show me and let's hope don't breeds ever molested anyone ever again. I don't know that's not. He doesn't know but that's the real story so we didn't get the whole thing. She also mentioned something interesting to me from last episode. Remember the scene when ralphie has to apologize to tony. Soprano in the polling. Christopher watching tony refuses to get up. It's very. It's very humiliating. Coney pretends he doesn't know what's going why he's there and what he's talking about really makes ralphie bow and scrape as ralphie. So that was inspired by david. Chase was reading a book about the civil war and apparently when robbie lee surrendered to ulysses s grant grant made sure. He humiliated himself in the process. He makes you robert lee humidity. It wasn't enough just to surrender. It was done in a very humiliating fashion. And that's what that scene was inspired by. That's interesting beta gravel. He was groveling. Gravel wasn't enough like you do with me about the first day of you onset. I count you make you apologize. Go into that today. But the thing is you've never apologized because i don't feel one is necessary. That's the problem that is the problem. That's it in a fucking nutshell. That's just i gotta tell you. I've been watching barry. Hbo series a great series created by bill. Hader and alec berg star starring bill hater. And i'm loving it an above all of it But henry winkler know. I studied acting with a bunch of different teachers and he plays an acting teacher. It's really fun watching him. I think he does a great job. The very the only fan mail fan letter i ever wrote. My life was to henry winkler when he was the fawns. When i was a little kid should the seventies and they sent back this little postcard photo with still have no. I mean that was fifty years ago. Probably i don't know you know. I have friends at him. I got to be friendly with henry. I just heard from a few weeks ago. It was his birthday. And i wish maybe birthday and he showed me a message. I met henry in the early two thousands two thousand and two three one somewhere like that. He was the executive producer of hollywood squares and I was doing. They square has early on in the soprano years. And i would go. I was living in vegas would go take my young daughter on a saturday and we would do five shows in the day and it was a lot of fun to me. You made some money some extra money and it was a lot of fun. And you see all these people. I mean alec. Baldwin and and dom deluise joan rivers and Elmo and mc hammer and a whole array of celebrities from all walks of life. And i would go and it was a lot of fun. A lot of laughs. Henry was the executors. We became friendly. I did it a bunch of times. He couldn't be better guy. There's no one in. Hollywood says bad thing about henry and you know he just. I remember. I hadn't seen him for a while and then i saw i say he's what stolen. What even henry the season ended. And i'm just banging away just banging away and he said let me tell you some you will always be banging away and in other words you gotta do what you gotta do. You know You know i mean. I did books i've done hosting. I've done corresponded schaaf. I've i've done a whole bunch of things acting in addition to voice over voice over stuff and that's what his point was and that was some of the best Kind of advice because you you're thinking well. I'm on the sopranos the big show in history. I'm going to be set from here on out. He was the biggest star on tv. Absolutely so nobody knows better than You know henry winkler. He was defiant. He's an iconic tv carrier and it took him forty years. He finally won an emmy award and has always always always worked actor harry and he's done everything you know. I wanna say he may have produced the equalizer. Could it be one of the producers on the show like that. Proxies great barry. He's really really good. I'm very funny. And just dead on and the scenes with him and bill hader. Bill haters great in the shows. Well the two of them together. also I like about it. And it's not your typical italian hitman. It's a complete different. Take on this thing and it's Very funny very creative and henry finally got what he deserved though. He's very respected. I mean he's a yale drama guy right and then he took the role of fonzie bosom. That one alone. It was perry king. Shawki i don't think it was very sharkey was perry king stallone. Henry winkler. Forget her the other guy was. It was going to be richard gere and richard gere and stallone will like ready to go to blows long and i think richard gere either quit or they let him go. I don't know the whole story. But i know richard gere was cast at one point that movie after lords of flatbush. I and i think we talked about it. Not sure but nine hundred seventy five. I went to john jay college so i walk around the city. You know like. I had basketball practice latest. I would be all over manhattan. And i used to run into some celebrities and subversive salon was a security guard in manhattan in one thousand. Nine hundred seventy five like is around. I saw him. And i said hey. You're the guy from the movie and he said not me. I said yes. That's you and he said no. He denied it before four rocky. But after lord's a floral rock so he was still banging it out. He hadn't he wasn't a star yet. Fluids in flatbush was basically almost like an independent movie. They probably weren't paying much money. There was nothing there you know kinda got popular. I think as years went on You know but it just goes to show you you know You kind of like the tide goes in the tide goes out. You're on top of the world. Yeah and you're working but people don't know it. Yes if you're on something that's so visible like happy. Days are like the sopranos. Everyone knows what's going on. And then you're on something smaller or you're doing theater or you're doing something that's not a lot of people and they don't know that you're working. You're doing indie movies. Or whatever a lo- a large part of your your audience doesn't know and there's a lot of stories you know. I love the kind of comeback stories. The people who have like a second or third act. You know what i mean. It's like they were. Like mickey rourke so good example. I mean mickey who came out of the box doing incredible work in a greenwich village. I mean he was just tremendous in body heat was might have been his first movie role he had. He had a small role in that. But a really memorable one diner. He was a half weeks. Diner was a big one for him. And he's of course popa greenwich village. You become big fantastic. Yeah angel heart and then you know there were years where he wasn't working or he was working in movies that not a lot of people were seeing and then he comes back with the wrestler in a tremendous. You know mean a career performance really absolutely but it happens but you know the thing that people fool by. They think once you're on tv or started a movie that you're said you made it. You know whatever made it means to people you know. A being rich isn't making it. It'd be all levels of what's making right. Being happy to me is making. Of course you know. Listen i worked. And then i remember after the sopranos on secret life american teenage. You did an episode. But a lot of people didn't see it high school show and people were going when you're gonna come back on dvd. When when are you going to be working again. I i am working. Just maybe like you say so. You don't see but they're all those actors it goes right to their fucking head and they think look. I remember somebody under sopranos saying to me one of the actors. We were in vegas ready to do an appearance and he said do you believe with stars with stars me and you and i said i'm not a stop it. I'm just a active working. Acted this trying to make a living and be happy doing it. And i never thought of myself in those terms and i still don't i just want to work and that's what makes me happy but there are those people went right to the head. And how many times do we have to hear that same story. He hit a big. He became a star and then he came a wreck and he tripped over is dick and he never worked again or worked a lot less than down down down. We've heard it over and over and over my right well. Sometimes it has to do with their behavior on set in their attitude. Listen if you're a big giant star. That's that's a box office guarantee they'll put up with whatever the hell you do until until you not until you're not they're not gonna put up with it. They'll put up with all the nonsense until you know your movie bus out. This made a big comeback alec baldwin. Always yes really got hot big star Married to the mob The marrying man and then he had a lull like. I said when. I'd say he didn't work. None of these examples are people broadway. But he's not everything. He is bulletproof. Alad ball does commercials. Broadway does comedy thirty rock brought alec baldwin back. He had a lot of bad publicity with his daughter and that whole thing and he was and he's got a bad temper and thirty rocky was brilliant. And and you know he's on top of the world again and let me tell you. He does everything he does broadway. He sitcom commercials. He hosted the game show. What was aimed show. I think no to tell the truth or batch game so that was a big one. I mean he's he's kind of like teflon alcohol when he had a lull there and certainly he came back bigger than ever robert downey junior. That's a big. He was a huge star when he was young. He did chaplain i did. He win the oscar for chaplin nominated certainly nominate and then you know his drugs got the best of them for a while. He went to jail jail for almost a year. Probably the biggest comeback. This is a guy that you would have said. Super talent always was always interesting anytime you see any role anymore. You know him work with him. I don't know i've never met him. I like his work a lot. I think he's great. He's always been great. He was on saturday night. Live for. Yeah anthony michael hall right. Yeah jason bateman jason bateman. Was child actor. Child actors are a different thing. Everybody had a child actor Had a tough time had a little drug. Alcohol problem comes back with arrested development. He starring in movies. He's producing a movies. Ozark is a huge hit. He's in that horrible bosses. I mean You know ton of movies became a producer. you know. he's married to paul anka's daughter. And if you knew that. I did not know that one of his daughters jason bateman made a big comeback. Travolta now quentin tarantino has done that. In several instances think about pam grier with jackie brown travolta with pulp fiction. Harvey keitel with lord robert foster with jackie brown. Jackie brown he you know because he loves actors and people that he grew up with and always admired he. He made a point of of Giving them work which is really cool really was doing. He was doing kind of bad comedies. And i'm really wasn't doing much pulp fiction. Put him back on top. Oh yeah absolutely. In a big way to then get shorty which she was great in get. Shorty did with jim jim. Jim liked him a lot and he he helps jim. Jim had a lot of good things to say about that. Yeah And alec paul would help jim also He also made that terrible scientology movie. I haven't seen that one. That was really really really really. You know what else michael keaton with man. That was a big comeback for him. But you know. I think his when i say comeback think that he was you know he dropped out on his own addictive country. And i'm not saying that they all went. But it's but it's interesting just to see how one point year everyone's talking about everyone seeing you and everything and then there's this lull and and evitable. It's going to happen. Yeah good to happen. It doesn't just keep going up on. Who get burt reynolds. He was wants to biggest box office. Star biggest box star box office star in hollywood right. Any overspent comes bro. Paid publicity divorce and at one point. He couldn't get arrested and then he did. This movie star boogie nights is a big comeback for hang on. Yeah and then this last movie did. The last movie saw directed by at rifkin. Who helped me early in my career. he was a great to me and i did keep probably pretty happy because he kind of was somewhat on top again barrels and They do How 'bout neil patrick. Harris don't need hauser. Neil patrick harris was in doogie but the kid is a little different to me because just because you're a successful as a kid. There's no guarantee you're going to translate into you. Don't see him for a long time and then he comes back with how i met. Your mother wins emmys Stole that show whites hosting the tony's and the emmys you know you huge if you want to call it a comeback. Yeah i mean that's a general term. Art carney who wound up winning the oscar for palmas turkeys harry and taco. Oh no i mean there was big lulls carney. Bad alcohol problem he was. He was the original felix unger in the play odd couple. I didn't know he was had alcohol problem terrible. He went away several times sanitarium and stuff. He was doing odd couple on broadway and it opened. He had to go away. I didn't know he suffered terribly terribly. Wellesz fred events. Then he won the Oscar for for harrington to what would you fred mertz you know at the infringed on the lucy show what was his name. William h frawley something like that. He was a bad alcoholic and they didn't get along. Vivian vance him his drinking. He was much older than he had a drinking problem. That kept under control otherwise desi on s. I didn't know about carney. But you know. I gotta tell you the the The saving grace kind of you know in a way. Michael marlon brando made a big comeback. Also the godfather yeah. He didn't have a good movie for ten years. He wins a second academy award. You know he was only like forty seven did. The godfather looked so much older. I'm pleased he was not that much older than the other guys. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah and you know robert. Downey junior he You know he had believe it or not. mel gibson. mel gibson helped him. He put up the bond money. They wanted to hire him for a movie. And what a lot of people may not know out there. You do a movie or a tv show it has to be you have to be insured so if you're one of the leads in the movie you have to take a physical and make sure you're not a risk because if you're one of the leads and you run off in the middle of the movie and the movie shuts down there's millions of millions of dollars at stake right so they won't take a chance on his insurance bod. Mel gibson had confidence him in. Put up the money. That's cool now that that's kind of the way we were known. A writer got caught up in the shoplifting. Thing when odorata in black swan was fantastic. That was one of her comeback roles. You know she was an tastic that movie. I love that movie. Yeah lebaron. Obviously i think he's he's amazing but now Natalie portman star. That's very good four. Minute isn't meal. Coon issues in a two. I think yeah. I can win. Owner rider was fantastic. But you know she got caught up whatever she was a big star got caught shoplifting. In beverly hills. Kind of a good thing. You've never gotten caught. Steve is a kleptomaniac. but he's never gotten caught that's the secret fancy boutiques right. I like to change the receipts. You just yeah. I just change states like like if it's like five hundred dollar shoes. I put like twenty two dollars on. I'll take something i'll pay. I've not complete piece of shit. You change the price tag now. That's what i that's that's called the old switcheroo right back in brooklyn. That's what you call that. And she also made a huge comeback winona ryder in stranger things. You cheat on their fangio. Thanks so trusted. Hope for us steve. I haven't stolen anything since. I'm a kid comic book when i was a kid and it really disturbed me along since. I'm a kid when i was a kid steal candy. I died in ditch like as a teenager. I ran out without paying in the diner. I actually we would actually go in with no money house. They're celebrities do that. How's that for stupidity eight. I caught gabe. Kaplan i caught. Gabe kaplan walk it out of his head. While he's gave kaplan come on welcome back katha and he knew he knew he walked. But he you shoulda comfortable. He's a big star. No fuck that quite competition. Nobody comps us and if they do. I certainly wouldn't expect it if someone's nice enough and if they you give a big tip and plus i don't expect it like some people. Hey wherever you restaurant where you know. We're not supposed to pay. I don't expect anything and you know what the fuck is that. You know but i gotta tell you. I think we've seen so many people that will on shows in the seventies eighties and you never saw them again. They were big stars. And for whatever reason you can't strike you know you know you know the you know whatever the saying. Is you think the problem is a lot of people. Get if you hit a big right away. There's the pressure and out to the pressure is to either hit it bigger in the next job or make more money or something of equal thing instead of just going back to. The drawing board is an actor. I think the people that are that are that do that are willing to go back to the drawing board all right. Let's do play. We'll do a little movie. We'll do this. Those people wind up staying the people who hit it big and then they gotta hit the agents and managers of themselves as saying you gotta be on another hit. This time you're going to be the star is time you gotta make more money when you chasing that you know i also think And i agree with you there for sure. I also think That people just it just gets away from him. They believe the hype. They start believing they have no friends. Everyone's guessing them. They're managing the publicist. Everyone you know publicist. You're the best. You're the best bad behavior. And i think there's a lot of that. Also believe that hype. I don't michael. this is the truth. I don't believe when people would say you're great. You're great today about. I don't believe that. I also don't believe when they tell me i'm shit and there's plenty of those people. I'm not buying it either. Way years very balanced individuals. You beat a fucking so no you are. That's very attitude. That's why you've been able to keep going. I am not everybody. Has that attitude. you know. i'm not gonna listen. When i go in for an audition and i know some actors and you do also They want feedback feedback. That they said i was great. They loved you. Give a new. I don't give a shit if you think i'm great. I'm going to go in. And i'm going to do the best i can either gave me apart or not. If you love me or what does it matter. I'm way beyond that now. You know you got good. All i got really good feedback. That's not making me feel good. And they said i sucked. I know when i saw myself. You know when you do good audition or when you don't try. And i know what i'm doing. The scene right. Now i know of the seeds working or it's choppy. I know i feel it. I feel on the podcast on this. Sometimes absolutely things. We need something you know and listened to saving grace. I guess this this is something you were a star on a sitcom or on a show whatever it goes away and like you say you continue to try to capture that and not everybody could handle that and that's why people have a lot of problems. That's problems Marriage is a lot of problems. They can't just give it to me one more time. And maybe it's like being in love you get got a little taste of it and went away and i can't get about your right and honestly i don't know is what's worse. Never having it or heavier and it slipped away. I think it depends on the individual. Whether at you know 'cause it could destroy you. It destroys some people. Some people die. I think also a diet of addiction. They dive over. You know overdose. I doubt also don't know it's it's a job. It's a way to make living. I love doing it. Does my whole life revolve around my dozen mine does it. You know. I mean personally. If i didn't enact if i didn't act again you know i'm not gonna difference between the work and the business. There's a difference. You know what i mean and and being engaged in your work if you love it no matter what you're doing if you're riding or you're you're doing a play or doing an indie movie. I mean i like to be engaged. Creatively as being in the for the newest hit hit show or movie. It's there's two different things. Well you've worked steady this retire time. Okay you've had. You've had numerous shows numerous pilots. You haven't had luck with many of the pilots. They let you know. They never went on series three different series at least one year at a clip. You were the lead one. Eighty seven Life on mars on mars. One eight seven mad dogs. Alex i did one season on california -cation but that was the last season of the show that wasn't i. I mean you've been working steady. But yet i'm sure your people go whether you're gonna see again trying you know what a lotta people also don't know is so you do one season of a show that gets cancelled one season. A tv show is a good gig for an actor. Sure yeah sure. Would you like to be on an neck sopranos and go for seven years of course but if they would have said to you. This shows only going to go for one season. Take it or leave. It i would do it. Of course of course and the thing is i don't know if people realize how hard it is even the worst piece of shit show on tv the worst. Show that you see you go. This is the worst thing i've ever seen. Do you know what it took to get it right on the air out a lotta shows to get on. That's right. you have to audition for the pilot. Then you have to go test for the network depending on your level. Of course you're utah. Well you don't after you don't have to addition anymore sometimes. Okay but so. I have to audition for the pilot. Then they wanna fly to la. I test for the show. If i get it. I don't get it okay. we're gonna shoot the pilot now. You wait months. Should months to see if your the pilot's going to go if it does go they're going to give you a six. They're going to give you a twelve or thirteen. Then you're gonna wait to see if you get. the back. End is jumping through hoops every separate away. Hey you and jeff made me audition for the podcast. You weren't sure if i would be able to handle it if i would be interesting to work for. This wasn't easy. I you know what you came through with flying colors. I hope you really did. You came to often neck and neck. I want to mention the other. I have a feeling. I notice you talk about that break. Let's take a break. hey talking. Sopranos is supported by private internet access. And they are here to help you out with gifts this holiday season. If you wanna keep your loved one safe on the internet and away from akers you need to get them. Private internet access. We have it on all of other vices as well and we love it. I listen i have it on everything. My whole family has it. We've done it. We've talked about this before. I know people also you saying what should i get this guy. He's got everything. I don't know what to get him. Get him private internet access. 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And they use it to protect themselves and their families It's also the easiest thing in the world to use you basically install it and then press a button when you want to use it. That's it if you want to join us. Private internet access has a special deal for. You are talking sopranos family here. You can get a three year. Subscription at an eighty four percent discount. Who gives you an eighty four percent discount with two extra months and for free comes out to two dollars a month for complete digital privacy head to private internet access dot com slash. Talking sopranos. to get started. Today we are back. Very good was a good episode. Did you like this one You know i mean. It's kind of a quiet episode for finale. I know the tradition of the sopranos is Is not like the finale of the penultimate won the won before. The finale is is the shocking one There was no surprises here. No surprises kind of. It's kind of a quiet episode in the long ways I think there's some really good acting in it. that's for sure. Yeah well the last episode was great. You know what. Annabella and and jim and automatic. I was an incredible episode. This is kind of Kinda somewhat predictable Written by laurence connor and david chase. Who collaborated on the many saints should know rookus and directed by the late. John patterson who was one of the best guys i've ever worked with in this business. This is the seven of thirteen that he direct lawrence carnage. Daughter is a big writer producer. I think she collaborated with lena. Dunham on girls. Yeah girls and then they did another show together. Yeah did another show camping. I think you did girls right. I played the professor In the first season of literature professor. Poetry professor dr that i loved it. Yeah it was fun i liked. I worked at lena. She was great. I enjoyed it a lot. You know the title in this has a lot of kind of levels to it for the episode army of one was a slogan used by the military right by by by the us army a recruit a recruitment slogan for ads in the early around. This time when the show was made in two thousand one stands for officer noncommissioned officer and enlisted office those of the three types of soldiers you have in the army But it also for this episode obviously talking about military school because you know they go to the military school for a but it's also like a whole theme to me of everybody out for themselves in a way you know. You have jackie junior who. It's kind of bleeding over from the prior episode. Does this stupid crime for himself to rise up the ranks. And then he leaves his friend. He has a chance to save his friend and he leaves him. Which david chase quote. I quote quote said about that act. Jackie junior dumping his friend was the quintet quintessential soprano moment really meaning out for themselves selfishness cutthroat backstabbing junior. Almost the same thing towards the end of this episode at the funeral to you ralphie. It's all about him. He's cutting paulie out. he does. He wants to just low ball him. you know. he's trying to usurp. Oh every can call these just worried about his sit down at very inappropriate moments asking. Tony wants to. He wants to put his mother in. You know a place that's out of his budget basically. Aj stealing the tests. You know You know there's there's also a little bit of element with tony kind of at odds with all these people like he's at odds meadow. He's at odds camello over the school. He's an uncle uncle junior. And ralphie and paulie so the title. I think is an important. Tony is the as selfish as any man anywhere. Tony tony soprano. I doubt you know i i. I think so david to call that. Jackie judd doesn't pick up. Leaves this friend for dead. The quintessential soprano moment. That's very telling absolutely right. We start high school basement. Aj and egon Egon which is a. I have a friend of mine. He's tying guy from italy up at toronto. Fred of my for years. He's a bartender. At the four seasons you know great guys. they've got. I find that are named for an italian from the north. I'm not quite sure. I know the guy for years. You know you know. There's switzerland and it's close to germany. So maybe there's you know the north might have names like that southern italian with that name only times i've Heard that name famous painter. Egon charlotte. I've never heard that that is so they gotta you know their dice. But they gotta pee. Egon ps and aj waiting for the janitor. Leave they Break into the room and they grab a copy of the test now. Did you ever do that stuff to pass a test a cheat a test. You never stole test. Never never never cheated on a test f. I could look over to the other guys. Thanks sure i did. Did you ever come in with crib. Notes nah i was not that i was never that Creative but if i could see like especially multiple choice i would look over especially in college or whatever. I take a peek taking thing but like really preparing with crib notes on your arm for well. Now it's much more sophisticated. I think they have. Espn is and you know the kids. The kids the phones it's a whole nother level. Now it's easier to cheat edge. Well i don't know is easier but they're very creative. You know headsets and shit like that but what did we have. You know you try to put something in your pocket. You're taking a big chance. But i would certainly peak over. Then you've got those kids won't let you cheat off those kids now. I wasn't one of those kids. Know if you wanted to look in my pager fine. I don't wanna combine and we could both be fuck ups college graduate. I was a college graduate board. I was young high school not so great. Became better later on yeah. It wasn't a great high school. I was good at junior high and going to college. But you know you would grab a kid early at say. Listen man You know this tennessee. Got the shit out and say yes you know if you can let me take a peek. And he would say all right good especially if you're next two behind them you know you know he would stretch those deals. That's apartment building. Jackie junior and little. Bruce little bruce they go to ray ray played by offering. Michael k williams. Who's a tremendous actor. Yes one of my favorite actors. He's been he's done a lot of great work nominated for an emmy for bessie he was in the night of he was in was his big. You know you know. His big breakout a boardwalk empire. He played Chalky white monkey white. It was great. He's also works with the aclu as an ambassador roof of smart justice he he Does a lot of work with you. Know social justice and stuff. He's he gives back a lot and he he's just a lovely guy too. I nick fan seeing a lot. He's he's a very nice guy and a great actor like you said and he's he's in everything i mean. He's getting his do. He's working see works. He deserves to know. This is one of his first roles. Was it one of the first either the first second role that you know on tv anyway. Green grove nursing home Polling takes toward his mother. She's very teaser joy. She can't believe he's such a good boy. Eight grand a month now well. Let's let's think about the math here. What he's going to have to earn. What do you take. What do you think when we retire being you go to a place. I green grove. And we'll have like a double room the door in between we'll we'll be like bernie and we'll retire together. What do you think we'll do a podcast from the nursing home. why not. We don't even have to record it. Broadcast it no one knows just do it. What do you think me and you. We go to a place green grove. The food is good. Everything's there was seeing. Everything is at what sink. Well they'll were listen the movie night. It'll be tastic let's think about. Let's talk about. Maybe we'll start a nursing home talking. Sopranos elder care. it's called. We'll have the bedpans logo on it. Yeah that's good. I lift the lid. Tell me what do you do the math yet. So that's almost one hundred. That's one hundred grand a year and this had paul. He's got no kids he's got he's got a girlfriend he's not married. He lives in an apartment. He's got money coming every which way. Why would this be a problem. Hundred grand well. What do you think he makes a year three hundred. I think he makes more than that. You're talking lots of money. I know he kicks up. I don't know you know. I think there's one listen poorly in his mid fifties. He's been a gangsta probably thirty years. At least oh longer than five years. Yeah he's got money coming. Every which way from christopher alone sportsbook six thousand a week. What's the problem. I don't know why he's he doesn't keep that he kicks most of that. I'll listen unless poli has bad habits. And we haven't seen that. I don't know if he's a gambler big. Not that's that's off the top before he spends anything on himself which he probably doesn't spend much on him so you can't say tax free because it's all tax free to them so all takes well. It's a he loves his mother that's francis and some. How do you pronounce it ends employers. She passed away in two thousand seventeen. Did a great job as nucci as paul. His mom A great relationship and a really good. They're all around the piano. It's almost like a setup though you know we're bringing in someone there are dressed in it. They're singing standards in such a great time and maybe parisian night is fridays where they have coco's on and he doesn't want snails no snails food. You likes an no. I like snails. My grandmother used to make snails in a big pot of sauce. Red sauce and then they would give us a safety pin and you would dig it out like that when i was a kid with no on just on its own just on its own. I mean a big pie. You could hear them. You know you could hear them screaming when they drop them in naming. Yeah you know like here. The the snail might be the Steam coming out of the shelves or some and then you see them have tried to climb on at a pop you know and yet you got to keep the lid on the steve. It sounds disgusting tastic. My grandmother made a rich source with the snails. That was out in this for what i did. Use to like Ask are the french way with butter garlic butter. You don't like it anymore. The idea of eating them know something something. I haven't had changed in the way of looking at it. I have been my backyard in california. There's a long so paul. He's got to come up with a forty thousand dollar deposits to get his mother in speech problem. He's expecting that to come from. The score was ralphie The spread of kitchen tony At the table He mentioned The college kid he died from crack was going to be a top draft choice. Allah lenny bias. Died of cocaine. Now this guy is kind of a little bit like livy used to read the paper and just talk about the most horrible whatever the worst thing in the paper he she would bring it up is but this is also tony setting up. He knows what's setting up. Jackie june sitting all this up. We mela the table is set. What row ralph reed. Did it call mellon. He was dealing drugs. And so when it happens. That's the story so that and that story just covers it all because they know once you go down that route. You know it's bad. It's like people who do drugs right and then they die of a heart attack whether it was from the drugs are not just He he brought it on himself Exactly done and she says you tried without boy. Tony tried hardwood that kids. Not a lot of compassion. There are dunkin donuts paulie. Silvio and wealthy cheviot tells them your steps your future steps of pitched on your leg. Ralphie doesn't like it going to give the ira march. He's he's losing face. they killed. Jackie junior killed his car dealer. Shot to may guys What do you think is fair in the split here so there was a strong box. Police gave him the alarm codes. Ralphie got his crew to do it. They cut out little paulie i. Twenty five thousand at that would have been fair avenue east at least think so at honi later on rules. Twelve thousand paulie and he's going over. Scotland legit beef so for the along codes telling him about the safe. And what's in it. That's worth twenty five percent. At least you know a baby more. I mean honestly i think maybe he deserves the fifty and he certainly deserves a big number. I mean what out him. There's no score. He made it an easy gig. You got the codes. You don't have to this very low as the risk immensely. And he says it's on his territory He says don't worry he's going to get much as soon as we can find them. Says he's in a housing project in bhuttan. They know areas. Everybody everybody knows. This is like this this northern the jerseys like peyton place here. Everybody knows everything. These small towns though harder really stole a car and just went to fug and who knows where he made a big mistake. What i did your god just go. He had no money. I don't know who he could have got it from. He had no money though. You know so you know this that. I don't know if he had any friends. It's kind of a kid. The people are also reaching out to help him. He's a prick is veto calls. Ralphie said call me at this time so it looks like i'm i did it. I was in a meeting when somebody was a weird situation. Someone's somebody approached me and said they want you to do They want you to direct something project so we gotta go meet. The guy owns the rights to the project and the guy who owns the rights. Project is a real douchebag. Thinks he's much more important than he is now. The truth is he's acting like i'm the one who wants the job. I heard they were interested in me. So i know to talk to him but his attitude is that what. Why do i think. I deserve this job. So at some point ten minutes in he gets a phone call and takes it. And i'm in the office with maybe four or five other people to of his people one one per one or two people with me and he gets on the call so i leave the room and i'm on the phone. They someone comes back and gets me. And i walk in and he was offended that i left the room. I said well you were on the phone. He says real producer. Yeah he said what was important. Call i said so was mind. It didn't work out. let's put it that way. Yeah a friend. Who would he was cheating on his wife and he would say. Call me tonight say to you. Yeah tell me in. The daytime is before cell phones. I mean my apartment in the eighties. He would say. Call me tonight at seven. Fifteen seven fifty. A little older than me was from brooklyn brooklands had moved to vegas. He was a crap dealer at the dunes. And i would call him. I knew his wife he was married. No kids call them at seven. Fifteen i with his wife would took time to answer. Hey marianne michael there Yeah hold on everything you know smalto and then he would get on the phone. No you're kidding me. Are you out of your mind. I'll be right there. And this is how he got out of the house to go fuck. Like how many times can you use. That even have different people. Doing it was happening until he got divorced but sometimes he he would answer himself. What we're wizard called. Correct up are you okay. I wonder if he if he made shit up by that steve. He's such a fuck again. He you bet on that. Yeah is fucking kid won't leave me alone. I don't know what the fuck i was younger. He was kind of a maybe four or five years older than me. That was his thing. you know so And so rafi just as duck in them. Yeah we'll go. We'll talk about this and making them feel like shit. Making foley says i don't he says on the phone pretending to tony. I'm not doing anything important. Ralph reed is a prick. He's a prick as a brick yeah. He's a soprano bedroom. Tony's lying in bed phone rings cecchi junior calls. I need your help please. Tony no water. No not that. He's wiping his hands. He's done with them and saying it's from my father said your father's been dead two years expired. He don't want it on. That doesn't is last week. Call your stepfather. He saying you know and you see later in this episode. It seems like everyone's wash their hands. Absolutely i let's take a break. We'll be right back talking. Sopranos is sponsored by better help. Online counseling to new year could be a good time for mental health chicken. If you have always wanted to try therapy or you'd like to try it again or you just need to talk some things out better. Help office online license professional therapists. 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You get another three free. So you're getting six months for the price of three visit babble dot com and use the promo code talking on your three months subscription that is spelt b. a. b. b. e. l. dot com and use the promo code talking babble language for life. Okay all right. We're back So the little girl x. jackie If he know raised daughter If he knows how to play chess she says my dad taught me. jackie's in the cherry sweating. He's crying he's in trouble he's in trouble and i think he knows the father. He played the father card. He went to tony. Tony tried to help him too. Many times robbing ralphie's card game was a really bad idea. Just the worst. He's really dumb as they talk about an interview later. He's really really dumb Veto drops the bag. And and and that's has three hundred thousand dollars a lot of money from the esplanade deal. That's why he puts up with ralphie. That's why ralphie gets a wide berth. About money passes left and right because he makes so much money way more. He's he's kicking up way. More than paulie walnuts is now for sure. But you know what Reminds me a little. He you know roughly jumps in the car and he says Yeah you know you got three hundred. Grand darren tony kind of like. Yeah thank you you did. Good like pats on the back. Almost like toadies a pimp and the who were just gave you three hundred grand and you did like you did good. You know and a lot of these guys need that. Yeah boss boss boss. You know you know what i mean. I got that feeling that tony kids to fox about him. Tony doesn't like them. We know that but gave him three hundred thousand dollars. He gives ralphie a little pat on the head right now. Fito earlier was funny when he had interrupted You know when he called a ralphie and he was gonna yet squirrel possum. It's a rabbit. That was pretty funny. He was he seeing. You know furio collects the money drops it. Then you know. He's told tony says. Hey let's get this done in a timely manner ralphie. Has you want to do this. He does you. You're going to pass more important than that is that it happens. Timely you're a captain you wanna create confusion and insubordination. Chain of command is important. He brings up these kind of military stop. You know illusions here. He's a captain Yeah tony's manipulated him through this basically saying he knew that he ralphie's not gonna wanna live with the disrespect. That if he gives. Jackie a pass. It's just gonna make fucking horrible already. You sort of take in the dunkin donuts The principal's office. Aj an egon. The principal's office You know he tells them You know what do you want to tell me your cup if you they always give you that. If you cooperate now it'll be easier late another that is true. Don't ever don't ever dummy up the remember this folks out there. Tell me up dummy up dummy uk w up and get a lawyer. Don't ever come forward. Don't tell me now it's gonna be a lot better for you. Don't have come forward. It's better for you is not to get not to have anything happen. Get eloy shut up and get a lawyer. That's ninety six. They weren't even smart enough to do you know all that but i don't expect them to. After failing all their tests. Suddenly the two of these guys get ninety six. It's very obviously what happened He knows they cheated. Call your parents. Tell them the good news. Aj's denying it and his friend just breaks down. Once they hear the dna stuff you know years ago. A friend of mine Years ago a friend of mine. They had these phony phone cards. Yeah november the phone numbers long distance. Everybody was using them. Everybody in the country we use them and suddenly it comes down. If you turn yourself in the where where did it come down like well. The the word was out like you know in town that if you in the neighborhood in town if you turn yourself in you'll be forgiven you. They won't press charges now. They didn't even catch you yet. So is were actually turning they got everybody's names they know who it was all this bullshit and some friends of mine turn themselves in and they got in trouble and then he kinda guy find and you know blah blah blah and was like when they got you got you. I mean it's petty crime. I mean you know you don't turn yourself in you know. Yeah i cheated. You know you're not going to be an easy. Fbi office agent harris junior b cancer. He's back judge is going to set a new trial of trying to get tony. And they bring up christopher. Can we get through the nephew. Archie banners by going through the girlfriend whose archie banners have. You heard that name before. Now i've got archie banners through girlfriend. So they wanna set up christopher through his his fiancee. His girlfriend so They call deborah to come in here. Please she comes in. She's an fbi agent. She's in american not on the field he says. How could you make your hair now. A little story here. Which isn't that much of a secret. Lola claudine plays danielle debra danielle and originally it was shot with furusa bach. Who is an actress. That's done a ton of stuff. She was in waterboy. And that's one thing i mean. She was the craft. Almost famous return to oz. She had a big role in the war on a world. Waterboy with adam sandler big role in that and she originally did three episodes. I believe or maybe one. I actually did was she. Did one bundy wanted to do once. You don't want to commit to like a recurring role. She did one and they wind up Recasting with lola gluttony and not only did they recast the on the show. They went back and she's not on the dvd's no trace of ferruzzi balkin so they broadcast the episode with her. You're saying yes so. This is the end season three so there was a long stretch so they broadcast episode with or balk. Did she wanted. She didn't want to commit to a recurring thing. She wanted to guest by one episode they re recast it and now they want to go back again so they reshad it done work. She was on criminal minds for a long time. Our father bob. Loudini is a a a very well known respected playwright new york off broadway scene. He did play call. Jacko's boating that the labyrinth theater did was see more philip seymour. Hoffman that into a movie and and phil often directed the movie. Yeah yeah yeah. With the joe montagna joe. Maintaining is in that they. But you could see on youtube. Dvr if you happen to dvr that episode you have it but it's on. Youtube is a clip of her in the department store in that scene in the department. So yeah yeah. Yeah yeah you see her. Not in the but i saw clip of her missing which seen Later on when we get to the department store you see that scene okay Raise apartment jackie junior. Lena playing chess raibh watching. I think you're done for the way. She's developing her nights he's done for. That's a metaphor right. Exactly he hits the ball. Nazi peace out little girl beats them. Says he's going to go for a walk that they want anything he said. No we're okay cecchi. Junior walks down block veto light on his feet. Comes out of nowhere i i. It wasn't that light on the slide on his feet comes out of nowhere never sees it happen and he So they knew where he was. They were watching. The house. kills have been wearing them out. Kills him in broad daylight day ago. Jackie junior is no more routes office. He's talking to rosalie on the phone. She says i thirty two hundred dollars to get my transmission change. He's pissed get it back from the transmissions compromise he goes. I don't even know what that means so you know. We'll we'll bring it to my guy bubba. When veto comes in and gives the nod that he killed. Jackie julia ralphie knows. Just gonna be. Now's not the time to worry about thirty two hundred dollars. Why is ralphie. Pack and says i'm not going to be coming home. I got some shit to do. You wanna hear it. He doesn't wanna hear her crying and wailing and he knows what's to come. He says it later on in the episode. He's later but that night well. He knows what's what he says. The grief is what does he say something like. It's overbearing it's it's it's a relentless assault but he caused it basically. Of course these are what are they. Psychopaths are socio pets. Maybe a little. Both tony is also About a big background paulie. Christopher the watching the super bowl pre-game taking bits. Tony arrives lot of action on a super bowl. Busy time for them always every year. Tony kicks refrigerated. He's looking for the low main. Well chris is still mad at him from last episode so he walks out. Feels like tony's being shown preference preferential treatment to jackie junior. And he feels like it's bullshit and he's still pissed and he he's looking says he's been dreaming about that. A little main on the way over here kicks it. Police issue titled little your wound a little tight lately and then he says tells them about the fifty thousand euros me. I've been telling you much guys. No good i wanna sit down. He says i'll talk about. I'll i'll take care of what's tony. So wound up about a little bit about everything. Christopher's mad at him. They just killed his best friend's kid. Aj but it didn't happen yet. And and i don't know if he knows that they kill jackie while he knows it's coming so i and the low main god the most important. Let's not forget that the low main so he's really mad at alamein is called dickie really is he was thinking about it against their. It's not they probably think at some asshole took it from like some. You know what. I love when he you know he wants is the fridge. Is there any more chrome cake. Is there any more pies there any moral main. He's always looking for something it's very. It's very funny. It's a running gag throughout the whole drew hill. Soprano house tony camillo. Aj in the living room it comes down now gets to call. Tony comes home permanent expulsion. I prayed i would never see this. Maybe it's a blessing to place was too loose. It's too easy. But they make good on their threat the school because they threaten last time they were gonna ever make good on those threats. One more thing. It looked like they were just going to give him a benefit of the doubt forever and they made good. They said that's it. We're done a who you are how much you're paying us you've done and Tony man you know. I pay for all this six thousand square foot. House pool columbia. Everybody got screwed as a bicycles in and get for it. This is this is the thanks. I get which is right absolutely. Yeah i think. I've said that speech. Aj says it sucks to be you. And i'll tell you what he slaps him to the franks and that's a world line. I would definitely agree. He also is smog and smirking and he's really just said nasty kid. He's not afraid of tony in the least bit. It's amazing really loved his at the end of his rope. Though here. he's gotta guys in the street would shake in their boots and then. Aj at meadow. They don't give two shits who he is while after this moment he kinda does because he realizes he's not you know he's you can only push this guy so far but he deserved that smack in the face. He's going to military school. That trade i got some brochures from janice she said hop. Oh there come. I'm not sending away. Tony's livid and we know what happened to harpo harpo won the homeless homeless i. It was a lot more at stake though than just but maybe a few days if we would've went to military school. I don't think he was ever gonna go to military school. Because dan was not going to pay for that puts his foot down. Finally and just says that's enough. We've you know what i mean. It's just like this is all bullshit. And he's right they have the benefit you know. They have every. I've given you everything every comfort every luxury. Every you know they don't want for anything and yet is still just coming on the heels of the vandalism and this shit to you absolutely soprano kitchen table come in. Aj they're looking at the brochures. I never said i was going when looking. And then you're going you know Camilla's just looking. you know. he says yeah we're looking at it and then you're going. Oh my god Marina believe she crack union was shot dead his a phone. Call the boot and projects drug dealers. Tony looks at. Aj you see. See what happens if you know. You're a fuck up and tony knew it was coming. I mean this is what they planned. This is it the irony here is obviously they're saying like you said. They said he was involved in drugs. So so all bets are off when you go that route but the reality is he was involved with tony. You know he's world. Yeah but you know so. I mean could before once i understand one. She shot furio and kill sunshine. I get that he had to go. But maybe tony should've sent them away before this thing with christopher. When he found hurt he had a gun. And all that just here. I don't care where you go. Go to florida to california. Get out of new jersey new york. Get outta here go you know. Could that have happened whether and then and then if the kid don't go i don't know meadows dorm room. The phone rings. Aj not very really is dishes in the way. This girl should find out about her ex. Boyfriend and childhood friend got killed by some black dude. Jay shot up She drops the phone crying A terrible phone call terrible. Phone call for meadow. Murphy's office twenty two years old. Lynn housing project shame to his family is very weird to me. Because he's basically he's talking to melfi to help with him deal with his emotions and his psychological makeup but he's completely lying like almost telling her what she wants to what he thinks. She wants to hear for what reason why why lie. He lies constantly in therapy choice. Not doing any good. He's alive he's alive. He's lying to protect illegal things. He's doing and stuff like that right but here he's just saying instead of saying you know kind of fucked up. This started getting involved in my shit a little bit. And i. I wasn't able to protect them. And now he's dead instead he's just blaming him like it's a party line. He's using with everyone involved in drugs. Well maybe put it in his head. Baby associated psychopath can do that. This is what really happened. Maybe he's convinced himself. I don't know but what shame and living in a housing shame to his family. What does that have to do it. Anything also wasn't he wasn't living there he was hiding. He says you saw companies as in the end. I failed him. Yeah i'll tell you one thing. I'm not gonna make the same mistake with aj. So the jackie thing is train you know translating with aj screwing up. And i'm not gonna let that happen but he knows. Aj's not going to be. He even says aj's not cut out for my business. That's never going to happen. He's more pissed off at aj. Not for being a fucker for being ungrateful. I'm sure i'm sure all that. I didn't have a choice. Meadows going colombian if they've said at once they've said it a thousand times about meadow in columbia. They wear this on their sleeve for different reasons that this is how much money. He's got carmelo wizard on her sleeve. As a status. She lives in new york city. Wow and she goes to columbia ivy league school Meadows very upset. He tells her and he would like meryl she mentioned at one time To be a pediatrician. He would like that. That's where he wants he wants. Melfi say you're a good guy and you're doing a good job with your kids as oppose to these other parents. I think that's what it seems like. He wants here. i'm sure he does. That's what every parent wants to hear that. Yeah but he's not there for that reason. He's there because he has problems it's like he's not getting to the root of his problem. Is that like. This kid was involved in his business. And that's why he and involve with his cohorts and that's why he's dead correct but he doesn't want to see the truth i think he's convinced himself that he's got nothing to do with it now. Passed it onto ralphie. And that's what i think Meadows in bed I'll tell you what jamie lynn. She's always great great in this episode. You see her becoming. She's not a kid anymore. You know this was a very good episode for her. There's a lot of different colors and a lot of she goes to a lot of different And and extreme places it's really good work yes Meadows in bed camilla Wake sure jackie's dead. He's the first person my own age yet. I knew that ever died. He knew all the risk involve what x. Half the kids. I know take it. She knows what happened to him. She knows that drugs. She's just saying look at who he grew up with. His father was looking at everybody. We know it's office assist she. She saying he's dead because he was involved in tony soprano's world and say and you're looking for carmelo is in denial. Basically meadow could see this so clearly. Why can't carmella carmella want to. That's right boogie. Men with the talian names right talion name. That's a great line Major swing swing leagues langley. Play by tobin bell. Who was jigsaw in the saw movies. Yeah when he was on the spike show With beth casino cinema guest for the would you had saw and he was again. Yeah i had saw one two three. I don't know and he was. He was a guest. he was great at this guy's been in everything man. It's more like what has already been. He's he's done a ton of work. a real working at the. That's not in spotlight light. Really you know what i mean. Just saw league movies over the years. The solid work always working steady Aj's interviewing major swingley and he does oppo purchase. How's it feel to be a cheap hearsay j. You know he's not screwing around tells them about the schedule. You gotta get up at five thirty in the morning Five thirty in the morning. I call Formation than six twenty march to mess seven o'clock inspection. That's before school than at eight o'clock he starts school. I mean it's no television. I gotta tell you something. This sounds horrible to me this to me sounds like going to jail. It sounds absolutely horrible. All of there's there's an element to that. I would horrified if i was. Aj not kidding you get. He's talking about How we do things differently at your school is too much emphasis on. What's good for you hear. The higher good is the good of the core. This kind of reflects the title. Of course an army of one as opposed to. What's good for the core. What's good for everybody else. And macarthur said core core core was that patent or mccarter. I think you saw. I think he said general mcarthur. He said. This is a blueprint for total self disciplined yet. He smoking. he's a smoker so he also brings up all these aa slogan stinking thinking one day at a time. Keep it simple all those things thinking thinking. Yeah one of their slogans. But you hear that in a you know it's like you're blaming you know stinking thinking is when you're blaming things for your life being so bad instead of taking responsibility you know. So they're triggers for white people. Stay in addictive cycles. You know what. I mean Aj could be tells. Tony carmella aj could benefit from the discipline. Communist down with the army amputees war. What about creative. Creativity freethinking Small classes he tells you we have small colleges and she said what is this about a career in the military and You know tony is more open minded when it comes to this he wants to get. Aj on the straight and narrow. Do you think military shit. Schoolwork you know it depends. Everybody's different note. i mean. sometimes it's good to know to shake things up. I think for some people you know they. They're not gonna take any bullshit royale. Then you can only score around there so much you know but you know. Listen to everybody's different. She brings up when they carmella. Tony says you hardly goes to war anymore yet. This aired in may of two thousand one and it would be later that year. We did go to war also. We didn't mention this episode. Was the last time they use the world trade center in the opening credits because this in may of two thousand one so last episode of the season the next season didn't come on the air till till two thousand two so we probably finish. This up knows winter of two thousand. Yeah sure an Prantoso bathroom tony and carmella. This is a really bad fight. You know you have fight and fight. This is a bad one. You know you wanted to become a professional killer. He supposed to be. He's still a child. He's supposed to be killing frogs and small animals. We try to win your way for fifteen years. He's going to learn to be a man she says. I will not send them to this place. The way he's goin' he should be as a kid should be killing frogs. It's wall animals He also mentioned something about was that him. That did some in the kumano. Yod that blowing up the frogs frogs and small animals. I i think that's what he thinks. The world's osimo living and she says well what could have given him that. Bizarre idea is she referring to Owning only of course while that tony thinks the world owes him eleven absolutely. Don't you think he does come out to some degree. I mean certainly works for. I mean i don't know there's also when you say you know when you're in an argument you say things that doesn't all make sense. Yeah he also says he thinks the world runs on his feelings you know and the and then he says we've done it your way for fifteen years with the berry brazeal tim berry and was a doctor who came up with this behavioral assessment test. This is a test all these questions and you ask the kid answers them and they say well. He leans towards. Add or he leads towards antisocial. Behavior hineous learn how to be a man is basically with. Tony's yeah there's a lot of mumbo jumbo don't you think sometimes things all what they are. You have a disrespectful kid. You have whatever it is not always something that makes them that way. You know you some. Some kids does nice kids. It's like people are nicer. People are nice. That's it end of the story. There's not always a root cause that's not always because you father didn't say i love you become a prick for the next sixty and even if it is you still got to deal with it. You know what i believe. That's just jackie. Julius week tony. Camello metal the. Aj they walk in police waiting he jumps up. He said it's a wrong time to do that. It's all about him. And tony's like an. I bury my best friend's kid. I haven't heard anything about the sit down They say hello You know metal gets a glimpse of jackie in the coffin. She breaks down. I mean it's just horrible. Guys are in the back taking bets that booking now let me ask you this rowsley says the tony look at this place two days before the super bowl. Nobody shows up. What happened to in vegas moving is it is it. Nobody showing up because a jackie. A really bad thing to the family shot. Shot at made guides killed an associate. Or is it that jackie's dead and nobody really feels obligated to give respect to this family anymore would be above all of the above and also. They're busy with the super bowl. They also busy with the super bowl. They're taking bets. Some of them went to the super bowl that taking action. And you know this is business. They got no time to step in. These guys did the. They're working while they're at the wake which is more disrespectful to be by going. Listen tony's kid that got killed it would be everybody would be. i think it's all of the above. I mean jackie. A senior is gone. This kid is a prick. He did a really bad thing. You know and i think it's all that she doesn't know that she doesn't know no. He did a bad thing right to the family. She doesn't know. Of course crazy janice comes in with a cd. She gives it to really the owner of the french christian. contemporary music devotional music ragged. Tommy mottola had sony. Looks like he's gonna offer us a deal. Right i told is all over the all over the sopranos. They've mentioned quite a few times. Talk to deal. i do. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah i sat. What howard stern's wedding sat at the table. I think i told you. Rob zombie. Tommy mottola. Dan claris belshazzar and his wife. And me and my wife. That was how table a table. Talk about tola is is wife is Salvia she's a singer. Faye very famous and married to mariah carey right fairy. Tommy i think no. I met mariah carey. How was she. I was there was. I don't know if it's still there restaurant in chelsea call lunch net. I think well cafeteria cafeteria on seventh avenue like nineteenth street. And i i still had the bar a few blocks away so we closed the bar. Maybe it was like two o'clock and cafeteria was open. Twenty four hours. So i went in there. Like three o'clock by myself sat at the bar to eat something and sitting in a booth. Is i carry with a bunch of people and somebody up and says maier wants you to join us for dinner. She was a fan. So i went over and had It was far great it was. Am three am. yeah it was about. She was with about four or five people we had dinner. And you know the the tavern was very nice. So good one tommy mottola. I think rob video store and stormy sets storming stormy used to work there and the no. He's a very nice guy. Very nice guy. He gets a lot of play here Outside the wake. Christopher pulls tony into another room. Listen about jackie ralph. How you handled it so much. Stick to any of us. I appreciate that you were looking out for me Anyway when i said about not loving you. That's not how it is to have fans apology to me. He anything. it's an apology fast. He 'cause he never comes out and says ob. Sorry i was wrong. You're right. It's a half acid. Tony's not respected to. I guess you're not that recept tony's absolutely now receptive but yeah he should have said i was wrong. You were right. He leaves out. The i was wrong. Part basically says you were. You did the right thing. So it's jackie. In the coffin. She standing over the coffin. Which is just horrible. The open coffin. They should have all they should abolish. That that's horrible. it's horrible. I remember when i was a kid and i don't know why this is if this is an old italian thing. My friend's father died. I was about fourteen and after the funeral they went in there and they took pictures of the father in the coffin pictures. I don't know what that's about. It's horrifying to me. It's bad enough. You gotta go to awake. When you have the open coffin that grains in your head this person you love this person. You can't for whether it be a friend family member mother father and it's in your head that way for many years on you know it's like why even you know why have that emissions it out of your head man. I i agree with you. I it spor barrick. And then the old italian when i was a kid free days of awake afternoon and night and then the funeral. Four days you know. Why don't you just hang me right now. Yeah and mine is going to be so much better but the video is the video going to be during thing or after a separate thing. This be awake. It's gonna be a party with a screen be. There'll be no wake. There'll be no burial. It's going to be a party and once everyone's there y'all have their drinks show have their much sell of alone and roasted peppers is gonna be the whole shebang menu already all the things. I love all the things. I is false. Why the things you love. You're not going to be there. These for the understand. He's a for the. This is an extension of me. Get okay so we'll think of you like you prolong the night week. Steve with a love. This bouchut race balls all the things that i like Be served now so to be served and then at some point. And your coordinate. You'll say steve left of serb message. And i wanna introduce his video. Steve has a little something to say. But now the the people that you mentioned the video will be in the room possibly them there of course could is it also could play all that will disarm them because they think they're invited eating your wining and dining sticking right in there. S wow tell them what i think. Also i'm thinking it could play out as an episode of talking sopranos academy like that. You do it alone. And then i'll pop on the screen and it'll be old wide eyed like. I said that's assuming you're gonna go before me which we can't guarantee. Listen if people wanna take bets. You're in good shape. You do your What are you doing now. what are you under. But that don't mean anything anymore. What are you taekwondo guy. Yes need me. I did not that. I eat a lot of meat. Your chelsea that healthier that's l. But none of that you know at the end of the day. You wanna make a video. Alex reduce yours. I don't wanna make a mother other people that's okay no. I got a lot of people that you have problem. Then i won't care. It stayed on care. Now you believe in the afterlife. Now i believe in reincarnation differ right all right you come back as a dog. You could if you don't if you don't do well in this life you'll come back as an animal. If you do good in this life you'll come back as a person all really yes. That's how it works. That's how it works. So if you're a real scumbag where do you come back at. Like a rat. Maybe got our an insect really. Didn't know there's different levels. It depends on what you do what you cultivate. And this is unbelievable to me. That's why it's important to be good. Come back as an end absolutely step. Are you when they walk down the ball absolutely or cockroach. There's a lot of fucker cockroaches out and that is way more insects than humans. It's harder to be a human so all these people did some bad in their life. Yeah so that. So this is all about the whole footage of great. That's that's an aspect of it comes to you. Come back if you are nasty to people. Now you come back as possibly cockroach lynn an animal. You're going down in the scales. But look willie is an animal. He lives with nice people who love take care of him so he didn't do that bad you if you come back as an animal. That's abused starving. Then obviously did something really wrong. It's just amazing to me. I know there's a lot of people a cover back is cockroaches and worse than that. I don't know what's worse what's words. What's the lowest thing you can do. What's charles manson coming back at some something that's going to suffer. What's robert deniro. coming back. he comes back as a mole on. Somebody's fucking hey look. There's animals that live better lives than some human snow summer. Humans have it really hard just suffering in being whatever tortured and imprisoned and things in some dogs living lap of luxury so you could come back as more dogs as hello not as a mole. It's not a being. You have to come back as ascension being not a mall. i got a lot of course. We're does that. Come back with something that has a consciousness not not a mole not an inanimate object so somebody came back is a dolphin that you want me have quiz against listen. Dolphins are not fish. They're mammals steve so somebody's coming back as a dolphin. It could be steve pulsa surly this way. To even hawking's coming back as a dolphin. And then you want me to go up against stephen back as a dolphin elite also a dolphin might never have been human per se. Maybe it's always been in the animal realm being reincarnated who knows. Nobody knows these things you know the actual what you know who did what or whatever but the dolphin thing we need to look into. Dolphins are mammals not fish. Okay remember it's just fascinating you you. You just opened my eyes to something. I had no idea you're not gonna do the video now. Oh yes i it's gear. I'm already working on taking notes. I got i got about is it. Is it going to be a pod. Jams production i gotta talk to jeff sussman. Hopefully jeff doesn't make it to the video. I love jeff. He doesn't make it to the video. Just yeah just executive producer but let me tell you. I have solid dozen people already. Shala dozen are and they're all alive all these people they're all live. Oh yeah. I'm not gonna talk about it. A solid doesn't solid dozen. Asala doesn't motherfuckers that have done me wrong. I've all day you know for a wide range to michael. All walks of life all walks away. And i love it carmella looks at the body. And then the next thing she says. Let's do it your way. Because she s seeing. Jackie dead makes her. You know reassess her opinion about the military school she has a whole change of scenery and You know what's funny when they had the big argument when tony was trying to close the door and he kept slamming it. I don't think that was in the script. I think he could close the door. This ca- fucking anywhere with it. He's done that. What the refrigerated just wanted it to make it more of us. And we're outside the food market. So we own tony table. Did you see in the background. Jesse yellen meets. That's kevin who plays who was on our crew but also played the owner of the up. Fine and he's a good actor also. It looks like the meat packing district. Doesn't it here in new york city. That's what reminded me. Yeah but i think it was jersey jersey but it just reminded me now soviet attorney the table paulie arrives. He's pissed off that he got there. First for four and ralphie thumper sure. Yeah he's christoph and then he gets there you late tomorrow. I'll be timing. you'll still be stupid. that's trig. He don't care ralphie. Giant big elephant is shit but but with green grove before it gets him. Police says you know. I'm putting on green grow based on your recommendation and choices. I never recommended it be most expensive nursery home in the state and tony once again. It's a retirement community. But i think tony's thinking it's not a good idea it's it's outta police league. He's he has a little bit of that vibe. That seems up on it. I don't know financially or tony doesn't like that. Paulie tony's the kingpin drives a cadillac. Can't drive a cadillac. Can't do with the boss. Does you know we talked about fights last weekend. When i worked at the hotel the the vice president who saw me to fight. I was ringside. I got a you know. I knew them guys. They gave me a ticket. I was ringside. He saw me at the fight. He said to me at the fight. How'd you get these tickets. Because he was afraid of vice president. And i was down here. I shouldn't have better seats than this mother. Father i that's going on here. Also i had a mercedes and somebody told me. Don't ever bring that to work if your boss sees you in a nicer car than him. He's going to get jealous and that's what this is. You're driving mercedes. Even though you work hard you bust your whole. You can't better you can't have. What are you doing in this restaurant. i'm the boss. Don't you feel that way. You feel that way. I remember once come into a restaurant and you said what are you doing here. And i said well i come here. All that was early on before you were a regular cast member you know. Tell you around fee. Just don't give a fuck. You know he he's a he's a nasty guy and You know he just doesn't care. He doesn't care. Employee says listen. You know you screw me out of this. Little paulie was 'cause rafi we did all the work. You just gave me two codes big deal. Little paulie says little paulie was ready to go and you didn't come get him basically to cut him out so he wouldn't have to acknowledge pauly's help right. Yeah they cut him out Tony already got to three hundred thousand dollars he does. It's just a little reward for raffi only s to pay him twelve grand and says i can't believe this. He's betrayed and ralphie says why not last year. You believe flying saucers over east rutherford. Now two thousand there were flying saucers over ethos East rutherford new jersey. There were sightings. And you believe that they were they were signings. What do you mean. do. I believe if you believe that you a flying saucer. Ufo means you know what it means unidentified flying object. That doesn't mean it's an alien. It means it's a flying object that you can identified most. Ufo's where i live in california. I'm near vandenberg air force base. I see weird shit flying all the time because they have experimental planes there. It's the army experimenting with shift. So you're not saying it's an alien no but there have been roswell new mexico in was up forty you believe in elliott thousand alien. I did a tv show called project blue book. That's about what happened after roswell. It's true stories now. The government opened whole division project. Blue book to look into aliens because roswell were real aliens atlan did. They even had an autopsy. There's a video of. I don't believe it. I don't know that's real. Believe in aliens. That's bullshit rodwell. I don't this. They published a newspaper article. I in in new mexico and it said the guy they had pictures of the everything and then the government came in and took everything away. You'd think aliens walk in on the face of the earth right now. I don't some people. Do some people think i don't believe in. Ufo's i've heard the stories. I personally what do you mean. You don't believe in you don't believe is unidentified flying objects. That could be a frisbee an explanation. I don't believe this flying saucer. You don't believe in aliens. no. I don't believe in early but roswell was real low. Steve diving him in that video. That's not a real alien is a funny line in the show dice. I did one episode of that. Show the andrew dice. Clay called dice and in the same episode. Mickey rox in it. And i guess mickey rourke die says i don't believe in viagra and mickey rourke says it's not a ufo it's a pill that makes your dick hard was very funny live here. We are at the clothing store adriana shopping for a dress for the funeral deborah. Danielle walks up. You know she strikes up a conversation. I puts on a heavy thick new york action. They saw talking. i'm gonna go to a starbucks. They seem to click. Yes they you know. I gotta be honest it. I'll be honest as seen. It did not seem like enough clicking for her to say yeah. Let's just perfect. Stranger walks up and makes a comment about shoes. Now you're gonna go have coffee with them. Adrian is not the smartest i think. She's kind of even though she's in this world she's innocent dick. She's naive to a certain degree. She's not the brightest guy. I'm not talking about our intelligence talking about her. Willingness to go have coffee with a stranger who said three sentences to her. I won't do it. I would go with the farkas this but you know she's got the big hair kind of looks good looking kind of looks like adriana very dresses the way. She dresses kind of similar. You know maybe she thinks say you know. She doesn't have any friends seem. That's maybe part of it. She doesn't have friends. Christopher warlord friends while this is the beginning of a slippery slope. Yeah sopranos living room. Tony watches doctor. Free erectile dysfunction commercial. It's funny no matter what he was happy. I know this you know somewhat on. Tv what what they're doing. And then he says to imagine need in this kind of surgery and then he wishes he didn't say that that was a little awkwardness very adage. A comes down. Hey it sergeant bilko. Which was an old sitcom with phil. Sylvia sylvia's it was funny listening. Yeah that was very funny show. What else was phil silvers on. They they i think it's also a movie Later on sergeant bilko but doing another show too mikhail's navy mikhail's navia And that also was a movie he says. I look like a total jerk off. I don't want to go any toughening up He won't put the hat on. I gotta be honest when he puts that on he looks like a fucking toy soldier from Absolutely from fao schwarz. Yeah he does kinda look like a jerk off. I'll be honest He curses out his mother. Which is very bad. Tony gets in his face. I this is bad. It said he don't want to go. He don't want to attack falls down. We've seen it before. But tony hasn't. When did we saw it at football practice. Oh that's right yeah paddock attack and they never told and now hearings. This up in therapy. When did he find out that. Oh he's just making the connection over. That must have been a panic attack. When he passed out football practice in it wasn't dehydration. Who are now. He wants to sue them. Cure right Now we can't go to military school so aj quota break. He caught a break. Tony brains. This soprano jean says. My great-grandfather drove off drove a mule off a mountain road. Great great great grandfather. Great grandfather and and melfi says interested in which i liked a lot. You blame your genes blaming eugene is really blaming yourself and which is cool. I like that. She said that kind called him on. not how are we going to save this kid. That's what he says at the end of the scene here. I don't think tony's are bad for the but they know what's going on this foiled. He lives at spend a ton of time at home. Tony you know not a ton but not. He's not an absent father by no no no but they must also You know come on. They must know. Hear them arguing about the And stuff. I mean come. They know everything the kids know. You know what i mean. I mean he's him carmelo banging other. The kids are in the house. And that's not that late at night they come on banging you mean fights or i mean sex sex sex ed fights ed you know the the the they're they're not kidding babies any more. They know what's going on Cemetery my favorite character one of my favorite characters two to five seven to nine at the cemetery. Great names in television history. Absolutely and once again i'll reiterate That is the time of wakes him. They take a break to go. Eat and drink and then seven to nine call. Day can't go any afternoon. they come at night. You got your family. You got to be there the whole time to see people and and fucking torture yourself for yourself. The county sheriff. Now this is not the fbi. Yeah he's not. Federal crimes arrested him for gambling. They do this every year during super bowl season when there's a lot of money basically they probably get paid off. That's probably happens exactly and they do this for publicity. Like silvio says corn had list time i was out i was out because before my soup god called. And you see this. You know you'll see you probably the next super bowl. They always make a big book making bus. You know Always but now the truths legal. Sports meetings legal-aid already. Yeah yeah at the meadowlands. And obviously in las vegas. So it's not like it used to be you know. Silvio manfred dante's his middle name is manfred paulie runs. He's running from shane. He's running fast on junior show up late. They see the feds in june. He gets in a car and is ready to leave you in the lurch. Guess he is. Roy screams horrible. Horrible horrible scream. Meadow breaks down. It is a very sad terrible seed. The priests played by dikla. Tessa now isn't he. He was a big broadway guy. Dickel tesha ordway actor. Yeah big broadway. He was good friends with dominic dominic key and as you close friends that i know rose released kitchen family arrives. Food drink everywhere. ralphie's watching tv could give two shits saw watching tv and then meadow gets into a big conversation with kelly kelly but kelly presents meadows point of view in the scene. She had with carmelo basically saying she knows he was not killed because he was in. You know with with drug dealers in in the projects. She knows that he was killed. Because he's involved in organized crime and that they kill each other he was killed by some fat faulk. We're in see through socks and now meadow takes the opposite point of view. Yeah basically saying you know that Medicine deny you have no basis to say that. And how do you do this in front of an outsider. It took cousin. she's talking about. Raise the loyalty right now medals at talking about loyalty and you know. I guess push comes to shove. She's her father's daughter and she you know she knows he's he's got his problems but she loves him and she knows that she's you know in some ways she's growing up here basically saying absolutely and and it's about loyalty to her. She says how. Jesus christ some loyalty to kelly in some way. She's realizing that you know. She loves her dad. He's done what he can ease with. He has his faults. He has you know but It's how she's grown up and she. She takes off for a huge gigantic. So i came out of the refrigerator but a big lhasa vodka. I guess that's to set up the the next scene in the rest. I used to gargle with that kind of aachen. That was even not even getting started right. I was start drinking before i started drinking. We all did right before we better you. You didn't like that in australia. Give very small pores. I love everything about australia except for their Serving purposes never that. It's a countrywide while wherever we weren't it's legal thing they could only give a small. What is it a one ounce by a drink. We won't backstage. I poured a glass of like that. But on the rocks and i came out and said this would cost eighty five dollars maybe long maybe more unbelievable vesuvius notice junior. Says he's having a full dinner. Meaning what usually do a buffet at things like that. Is that what he's saying he he referring to. Is that what. He's having the full of the sources. Good today gravy cravey's good today Yeah i call it sauce that whole sauce gravy thing. I hate that argument. But i've never my grandma called the gravy gravy. I think was 'cause i don't know bronx stink. That's that's what they said where my family was. My grandmother did in brooklyn but we always called it saucers still but He says The gravies good today. He says the kid was always a Fuck wasn't he did. He almost drowned in three inch. Water and win exhibit. That is a classic lasts a classic and only uncle junior could deliver that line and and junior in asia and junior is just great on top of his game in this scene dominic. It's not even so much what he's saying. It's also the attitudes which do you know how he says it the attitude he uses to say well. He's got this old old school wisdom. He's the elder of this whole group. He doesn't give up. He sells which fuck but he's very is no dummy now the dalai only he knows this world anyway He says in the old days of a jackie senior was alive. It would be flour 'cause up and down the block no matter what the boy had done. So it's part of its jackie's dead and the people don't pay the same respect The rico trials coming up fucking illness changed my whole viewpoint. I'm gonna stop and smell the roses. They talk about a flight risk. I've been fought in another classic line falling into the same sofa cushion for the last eighteen months. Really good scene. And then he says i'm gonna you know my Illness has changed my whole viewpoint. I'm going to stop and smell the roses which he's not gonna do. No no absolutely not. And tony says we all should. And he's not going to either continue on pauley pauley walks to his car jonny sack waiting for him. You know that totally got a big mouth. Also johnny knows what went down. Paul he says you didn't hear i got tony ruled against me and johnny says i don't stick my beacon that's all. He does a stick as beacon six as we can all the time and he's also lie about combine s for you. That's a lie that's a lie. I think maybe part of you know part of the move to jersey may be was to kind of get closer and get more control over the business here that he knows what happened. He knows that tony ruled against him. He hears through the grapevine he probably heard from ralphie because he close to alfie. So ralphie might have. And even. Tony ruled against. Paul gave me talk to give them twelve grand. Paulie wanted fifty so now janis making a move. That's a move this whole scene and he says tony does feel. Tony doesn't respect the elderly. Because how we treat it as he said that to junior and growing says. I told you i said to junior. Tony doesn't respect the elderly. Johnny says what are you making manassas. Manassas means like soup. He says you're you're stirring the pot. That's what that means. But johnny stern pot shoddy is a troublemaker. And like you said all. He does his stick his speaking. Don't confuse money with caring. Look he treated his mother. I told you what it's all about. Com is not high on tony and ralph their generation basically saying Which probably is not true either. Says it's all a lie chinese jockey and also to take over from carmine someday. Obviously he's the boss and have power in new jersey. And i fear camilla's call camello metal. The driving of his suv. Yo how people deal with each other. Even families jackie's family. They were never there for him. They let them do whatever he wanted. they said. Jackie senior was an officers. Rose grow she says row is kind of like checked out and jack and jackie. Seniors do it every wanted. She's kind of appreciating her parents a bit. She says in the beginning you know. Didn't you say max out the good times with those. You love and commercials. That was actually your father who said that. Meadow is kind of appreciating who her parents were. As opposed to who jackie's parents were to him and he's been drinking she earns carmelo says while. I'm glad you see and mental like that. And she says yeah right. That's an excuse for you to be intrusive and controlling. She's really sharp meadow. She goes to columbia as they said a thousand times. Subbiah ralph hosts court. He's telling a joke. Janice you know at that joke is right. It's i don't know the full joke but he saying that rabbi says to the bearded basically somebody. Somebody's miracle worker in his healing people in the rabbi says don't touch me on total disability as want wanna be healed so he can keep collecting his disability but janez sits on ralphie huge joke. I guess it is but jettison on disability and she sits on ralphie's lab and she's touching him and janice is making a move. It's very obvious. She's been single for not an appropriate place to make a move of his. It's janice christopher silvio and patsy arrive again. that's another example of selfishness. We were talking about it in the beginning. You know it's like it's her ralphie's girlfriend's son's funeral janice doesn't give a fuck. They arrived. they got obviously. They've got arrested. They're out on bail quickly very quickly. junior start seeing. Everyone's cheering them on two new stands up. I beat cancer. Now i'm going to beat the kellyanne settlement song it means ungrateful heart Think about my brain. That's one of the lines in the song He's singing which dominic loves to sing as we know he thinks professionally. Will you were you add. Dominant party no. And it'll quote -til dominic got a bachelor party and the list time he got married and i said the last time he's been married a few times right times and this is probably his lifetime thing married to jayne and it was all guys and i said to him ahead of time dominic. What do you want you want. You know she get some girl strip is what do you want it the bachelor party because a lot of the cast came a lot of guys we had to be twenty five of us at least thirty of us. Maybe you were out of town and everyone was there and he said just get some you know. He wanted to sing so we got some italian musicians and he sang all night and we drank and a fantastic fantastic. Absolutely how could you not. And he loves to sing. And he's been singing in nursing homes for years and years he entertains people for years in nursing homes and he does but he also does like clubs and clubs and bars and for him in vegas. I open. We played a candidate not that they insisted on me being that i kinda told some stories and kinda did some half ass. I had a piece of paper. And i kinda you know had some funny jokes on roe v like like a list you know. Is it as you know. I did ten minutes then. Dominic maybe sink initially funicular our them. Where was it. And we kind of did a bobby junior routine. It was kind of like that said the sunset station two shows. We sold out four hundred seats each. I think we did a two shows. One night or two shows two nights and sign autographs. It was a lot of fun that was years ago. Many years ago. A lot of fun. It was as dominic with his qatar. I visited me in there but they insisted. Imc mc so another word. You said what you do have no talent. Well you said you open that. I do fucking ballet. That's that's why i asked you. I mean you didn't sting. You're not a comedian. I'm here by accident so junior start singing. It is the song. Koi gra grateful. Heart getting very emotional. Very very very emotional. They're very you know. Bobby's crying like a baby. Jonny sack is crying like a baby metal strong meadows very drunk. She's throwing bread at him. I liked jim at lodge but but She's very drum she just she knocks out of cosmo. She grabs a glass of wine. She's getting out of control. Charlemagne audio event. Everyone's dad it pans. We shot ish. And the reason. I remembered i had come in the night before on red eye. We shot at the stage stage. I came in the night before. On the right. I got in about six o'clock. I slipped a couple hours in jersey girl and this was the last day of the season when we shot this. And there's a guy in the scene is a heavy set guy chimps cabello name and he. He was a friend of mine and i met him. He paid in a charity. He paid for to have lunch with me. Dominant get the friars club. And he was a really nice guy at yankee tickets and we became friends and he was a biggest soprano fan. And i got him to be an extra. He passed away young at fifty four years old but he four. He was an extra in the scene. Really nice guy to a lot of charities. Nice family and you see him. I'd he's there and i mean. He told me he had gotten hundreds literally. Hundreds of calls from people just happened to be an extra on that day and you saw i mean you said they pant a couple times you see him in the scene jim savelli and that's how i met him. He had for charity. Event in I was happy that we could do that for him. You know tony chases. Her outside. Chases meadow gets up and runs chases her outside. Hugh most get hit by a car. I love how she said. When tony approaches and she goes yeah. Yeah i'm going this. She was great in that moment. The way she's drunk and just like it was very funny and it's a really good seed. It was a really good way to end the season while but we really weird. The end here was very one of the weirdest endings. Because he's singing. Corden grotto's italian song and then it fades into a french song parlay mock the more speak to me of love or speak to me my voice then it fades into spanish song chinese song dennis spanish song and i haven't seen this episode cincinnati probably and i watched it last night i was like what is that you think it would just fade out on junior right this weird edit into three other songs so i looked it up i saw an interview david and he said basically he was making a statement about pop music pop music being engaged in sentimentality all over the world. It's a manipulation. He says junior his junior the most selfish character probably on the show pouring out his heart and none of it meant to thing. He's wallowing in this big sentimental moment. As is everyone else in the room and none of it means a thing. It's pop music has been so abused and overused manipulate manipulated and employed in service to the devil. David set meaning your manipulated to sell records and make money giving the wanted to give the audience a laugh about how they're the audience themselves are manipulated in life by sentimental pop music. That was the statement that was so specific to do these edits into three other songs. Besides corden grads. So he's using different languages to represent all over the world. We all are manipulated by sentimentality through pop. Music is basically saying this whole thing and everyone crying and dominik being awful a passion is all really insincere and bullshit. It's all bullshit brother okay. It is time for the talking sopranos. Ask me anything. Segr- segment the winner of our best. Question of the week is ed. Do you know where ed is from. Steve hell michigan while you know. There's a place called hell michigan. How h e l. l. I wonder if it's like hell for sending a pair of bose headphones. What is hell tell me what hell is again. L. is an irish bar and saint patrick's day a fraternity and all you eat is corned beef and cabbage and every day saint patrick's day every day and they play when irish is a smiling. Well that's a quote from the show so people don't get to quote from the show. I'm not irish phobic. Or anti irish Pro-irish i'm pro iris. Be two guys I love the podcast. I think this is my fourth time asking questions but with the insight you bring to each episode. It's like seeing with new eyes. Oh it's his fourth time watching the show. My questions about uncle junior which is good. Because you're an expert on okla junior. How come he never had a family as macho as these guys are. It seems that a family is a symbol of masculinity. Being a lifelong bachelor i think would be looked on as suspect that he may be a as they say. Can you shed any light on junior or this backstory. thank you at. Hey why don't you go to hell fuck. I had to say that up predictable. What am i a predictable. I knew you're going to say. I'm sure adheres ettelaat to i'm sure he does. Then he should move out of health. He doesn't like it or run for mayor of hell. Yeah and you run into health. Do you have cold days in hell michigan. I'm sure return all the junk manet. He's heard all the jokes so answer. What's your opinion the question. What you i think in He's confirmed bachelor he probably. He's probably been grumpy even when he was younger. We know he's had girlfriends. Bitter jealous kinda was always jealous of johnny boy. I think i don't think he's got patients to raise a kid. He raised tony or he was a good uncle. Tony took up the ballgame raising. That's a whole different deal. You only there for the good times very extremely selfish and self absorbed. There's a lot of people That have never been married. That aren't gay. I mean that's no we know he's he. He likes women i may. He likes them to an extreme. That puts him on the outs with his fellow. Mobsters you know he likes to have oral sex women. But i thought he he would have been a terrible father and husband because he knows that he knows that it's he's better off not being a father a husband and he's also does want to be bothered easy wants watches soap operas and he's probably been this for years just because he's oh man. He wants to do what he wants to do what he wants to do it. He had a lot of money. Maybe i think we all do but some of us don't get to when we wanna to do it. I think that's what it is now. He's a crotchety old man. I don't think he has any patients. He could certainly never have a woman around now. He's older kid himself. If you're in a relationship or you're married it's gotta be give and take right. It can't be one way one way one way and it is. The marriage ends usually urgence. Yeah you know. He's your favorite character. One of my favorite characters. Well paulie walnuts is a bachelor correct. Never was married. Nevada family same probably go. Same path of of junior was absorbed. He's a loyal soldier in the family but he's In terms of his personal life he doesn't he wouldn't be a good father girlfriend. We've seen him he's got ta but let me ask you this. If you're not married and you have a girlfriend is that is. It considered a mater. No i would say no so. He doesn't have goumas girlfriends. But some guys used to go. Modern term as a girlfriend really means mistress. That's what i think. Also what's a little strange to me. you know when you have a grown man who never left his house and lives with his mother. I find that out a lot. I know i know they get. You're taking care of your mother. You know you get older you. Taking care of people never ever leave. They never leave it. There was always guys in my neighborhood. They lived with their mother forever. What's up with that. They're you know. I mean at least go get your own place are you. Don't wanna get married. You don't wanna a wife you don't wanna girlfriend go get your own apartment and to me. Mother's still cooking for you so clean and for your jolie walnuts right. He did he. Does he live with his mother i well he did not now no in the show talking about the show. Yeah it's all right jozy. Ed thank you from health. Take care of yourself head from how we love you. Thank you go. enjoy your bose headphones man. I enjoyed the. I know the episode I enjoyed it. I like the end. It's a good ending. I enjoyed this episode tremendously. I gotta tell ya. I am enjoying these episodes so much. I haven't seen any time. it's got it is. So if you have any doubt of the brilliance of david jason the riders and everyone else Yeah no no no no doubt. It's quite a beijing okay. So thanks for listening remember. No episodes released every monday. Please subscribe to the talking. Sopranos podcast on you to come on. We could use more subscribe as we have a ton more listeners. Help us out please describe. We got apple. Music spotify amazon. Awebber you get your podcast. Follow us on. Twitter and instagram likes on facebook. And right now you could official sopranos merchandise on cooking sopranos dot com through our youtube channel. Our executive producers geoff sussman producers. And evert arom. Our music was composed and performed by elisa amazon. You could hear more villages. Music and the band's zappa which elijah and i play together by clicking the link at talking sopranos dot com our production crew includes todorov cr. Sherpa we record talking sopranos at nyc podcast in great studios great prices and great people. It's the premier podcast studio in new york city. So go to nyc podcasting dot com. Whether you're a brand new podcast or looking to upgrade your show they can take care of everything at nyc. Podcasting dot com. But don't show up. They're just looking for stephen. I and and bust our balls because we'll we'll send you away. Yeah i tell you what we've been using these guys for the beginning terrific. Well i worked with them on several other podcast when we were looking for for studio and for people to work without they will my first choice and we went with them and it's been a blessing. It's your first choice. Whatever you say goes. I just here for the ride. Why was it a good choice. Wasn't that avenue. Say i do yes sir was. Did it work out. Worked out better than i could ever abacha. Talking sopranos is a pod jams production. Ever you want whatever you save is appeal you got it. See next week see apollo.

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Best of 2020: Our Person of the Year, Paola Velez

Radio Cherry Bombe

55:56 min | 5 months ago

Best of 2020: Our Person of the Year, Paola Velez

"Every day is a new day and everything that happened. Yesterday is not going to hold back my today. Hey bomb squad. Welcome to radio. Cherry bomb the show. That's all about women and food. I'm your host carry diamond coming to you from brooklyn new york. If i had to pick a person of the year for cherry bomb. It would definitely be powell level as she is the co founder of baker's against racism a global bake sale that raised probably more than two million dollars at this point for causes related to black lives matter that is a tremendous feed and so many of you took part and came together as a community galvanized by paula. And her co founders. Today pel is the executive pastry chef at compass rose my dawn and lobau data bakery in washington. Dc and she is the covergirl of the most recent issue of cherry bomb magazine. Pell and i had a great conversation earlier this year about her life and career and bringing it to you as a holiday rebroadcast. I hope you enjoy learning more about this very special individual who is leaving a big mark on the food world. Let's thank carry gold the maker of beautiful butter and cheese from irish grass fed dairy for supporting this episode of your baking. And i know many of you are. I hope you're using carry gold. Speaking of carry gold they also cosponsored our holiday baking extravaganza along with amazon home. Thank you to everyone who joined us for all the festivities and demos and panels. We had a great time. And i hope you did to check out cherry bomb dot for recipes equipment cookbooks and more feature during the programming and be sure to check out our new youtube channel for anything. You might have missed. Let's hear a word from carry gold and we'll be right back with paolo. Says kerry is delicious. All natural butter and cheese made with milk from irish grass fed cows. Our farming families past their craft and knowledge from generation to generation or first generation. Goes back over two hundred fifty years. This traditional approach is the reason for the rich taste of carry gold enjoy delicious new sliced shredded. Carry go cheddar cheese available in mild or savory flavors at a retailer near you find your nearest store if carry gold. Usa dot com. Here's my interview with paula. So palo we're going to start at the beginning. I'm telling me where you spent your childhood. So i grew up in the bronx in new york city and Every summer for three four months depending on how my mom felt. I would golden the dominican republic and lived there. She thought it was really important to make sure that. I slit my difference. Selena i knew my heritage but also you know experienced the american way of life and did you stay with family members in the dominican republic before everything happened like with my grandmother passing away. My grandfather passed away. We would just stay at our family home in the what we call it is incomparable. And it's just means the will. It means camp literally translated but it just means like the countryside. That's where i kind of like learned how to appreciate food and how to grow my own vegetables and herbs and appreciate like fresh fruits. You see a lot of that in my desserts. Now i'm so sorry you lost your grandparents. When did they pass away. I was young. I was fairly young. You know maybe ten. Oh so hard. Yeah it was difficult you know but my grandmother really with the time that we did have she Impacted my life and changed everything that i thought about you. Know where before might of Not appreciated food because when you think about american culture you think about fast she kinda like helped me like slow down at a very young age and really look and see in pre What the earth gives us and how the world nourishes us from very very young age. I understood the complexities of food. And how we hold our heritage through it. Can you tell us some of the things that she both cooked and grew. She would cook a big meal which consists of rice. Beans chickens that we would grow Not grow hurt is very dramatic at first because they were my pets and then i realized very quickly the food system over would make this huge meal and she would invite everybody in the neighborhood. Everyone that was able to come at. It didn't matter if you're rich poor. It didn't matter if you're young or old and we would all kinda sit in the front yard and in the backyard and eat from my grandmother's food and she had that meal and a cup of coffee. Ready in the middle of the day for everybody always medina matter what was going on in our lives. She had that ready. And that's something that we as a family now when we go to the dominican republic we continue as a tradition so everybody knows our family to be hosts so it's very fitting that now. I work in the hospitality industry. Did you grandmother have a specialty. Yes so she would make coconut rice with peace so morally Gondola coco and it was cooked in the woodfire. We had like a house that was open. Open air that they had bricks that you put your woodfire in. And that's how she would cook. Everything was cooked by soviet elena which means over fire. Well all of my experience in the dominican republic. I didn't know what stove was in the dominican republic. My my brain never made that connection that you could have like a gas stove because we always use what fire. So how about some of the things that that she would grow. You mentioned fruits. You mentioned herbs. What were some of the things in her garden. Her garden consisted of this plot of land in front of our house and behind our house and we call it in cal- and Means the cacao trees and it was just rows and rows and rows and rows of wild ca cal that naturally in our backyard laced between were mango trees. Tamarind avocado plantations right next our house in our well of rain water was guava passion fruit. Which i always like to say whatever. Fruits like to grow together. We'll always taste good together. We had herbs in the back in the shaded area. Where is anything that you can think of actual cilantro or eight unknown kulan. Throw and more we had for me. We had lemongrass growing by the side of the house. And i would drink that tea and it would be a natural mosquito repellent pretty nice. You know oh my gosh. I'm starting to get the impression that it's no surprise. You became a chef. I i think so. I mean it was a good fit. I feel like i was the only one in my family that kind of took that same sentiment of food and being connected with nature like like my grandmother did and turned it into a way to give back to the community. So i've always been using food as a way to connect with other people. Because i'm very shy. I don't make like a great first. Impression is very awkward at first. I'm like oh sorry you had to go through that with me but with food i can show you who i am without having to kind of pretend to show you my history. It's one of your languages in a sense. Yeah i guess it is my love language. I kinda overfeed people the time i'm like Eat 'cause you deserve to eat you know. At what point did you decide that this could be a profession. I had graduated high school early. Had enough credits to graduate early. But i didn't graduate early. Because i wanted to stay with my friends. I was now looking back. I understand that that was a lot of anxiety and my fear of the unknown. So i stayed in something that i understood my life familiar But i had a year to kind of figure it out. And i didn't and i finally was like. Oh maybe i can do art. Maybe i can go to art school. And then i was like if i become an artist than have the make and then kinda like die to be recognized. You know 'cause that's why all how all like really good artists get recognized sites like oh no. They've gone too soon and all they go my god. This is so crazy. I was like what's another way i can make paint and make arts and then i was like oh i can do it with food and that was right when like everything was like. Tv chefs with like appearing in every it was every channel is trying to do a tv show and Those two thousand seven and into two thousand and eight in went to school in two thousand eight. My parents weren't very excited about that. They were not happy at all. They were hoping that i would become an engineer. Really good at like building things and numbers and fixing broken appliances. That's a big skill in a kitchen. Absolutely it it turned out pretty well. I can fix a temper machine so you went to school down in florida. Yeah yeah until a court on blue. I wanted to go in. Paris and my mom was like absolutely not. You're not leaving this house until you have a degree. I think she. She kind of noticed that i had slight syndrome so as my mom she tried to protect me as best as i could to keep me you as safe as possible. What is flight syndrome. I never heard of that. It's like where you want to escape your reality. You just you get so overwhelmed. The things -iety in and you're depressed. And you figure if i leave this situation that i'm in that's causing me. All this grief everything will become better. It took it took me a long time in new york to realize that that was a symptom of my anxiety and how i coped as a coping mechanism to make it better for me by now. Have a little bit more resources and tools by. It wasn't always that way. You know. I probably was not the best employees at a certain point in time. So you're in orlando you decide. You're going to go to culinary school. Yeah neither of my parents were. My mom and dad weren't really into it but there. They've always been supportive of everything that i've ever done. They kind of had a chat within amongst themselves and they were like. Why wouldn't we support her now. They let me dig my own grave. Basically in at first. It seemed. Like i had i was just like oh man why did i do. This could've just been an engineer but hard work pays off at the end of the day. It's not easy. The culinary industry isn't kind. But i've found kindness in it. How was your culinary school experience. It was fun. I i liked to and then -iety kicked in and then i was like. Oh my god mama have to quit. And she's like why. And i'm like i don't know i just have to quit. She was like well can you. Maybe accelerate program still graduate. Try to graduate. So i went into like the bursts office and i was like i need your help. I'm going through like this. I don't know what it is. I don't understand what it is you know. And that was when two thousand eight happened and we had like the economic depression so all jobs were disappearing. It wasn't easy to be a culinary student back. Then because you're looking at all your options you realize. Where am i gonna start where my even gonna do my externships so i asked the burglars office sounds like using. It's possible for me to go to school all day and see if i can like graduate early so i could maybe get more working experience and maybe get a job and they were like it's intense because already been going to school five days a week. We were there for like eight hours. So i had started to go to school at seven in the morning and then i wouldn't leave school until midnight paolo. It's really intense. But i feel like it kind of prepared me for the actual freshman industry. I had a competitive advantage. Once i went to work because i knew exactly what it felt like to. Just be stuck in a place working really hard so culinary. School was cool. I guess it wasn't like as aggressive now as i think back on it. You know 'cause you had time to research in read and study and take tests. If i only knew back our state for long bit as long as possible. So at what point did you head back to new york city. Right when i had to do my externships in two thousand nine so i did a two year program in nine months and i graduated basically so i went back to new york and i was like i should go back to new york back. So what you guys didn't know with my mom and my mother's cousin. They had restaurants in new york. They were like in. Saint marks and ninety first street and other places is kind of scattered through new york as like mexican tex mex report in the nineties slash early. Two thousands. Four stare margaritas And my mom was always working in the restaurants. I figured i was like. Hey if i go back to new york. Maybe there's more restaurants. Because i knew of one at least one restaurant that i work at but i didn't really work there. I worked at everywhere else. Somewhere at a freeze place and I worked in a dominican spot. I'm really good at feeling plantations. Now i'd like i did so much you know. I worked with columbia-presbyterian but it wasn't easy to be like in the culinary like Savory side of stuff. Because it didn't matter where i went to work. They always kind of put me in the pastry side of stuff because they they figured like all. Well you're not good at cooking but maybe you can at least make a panecasio before they even knew what your skills were right i. I wasn't really aware when you're that young in the industry. I always recommend to do as much as you possibly can. So that you can learn what you're actually instead of assuming you're good at something just learn and you might be able to be one of the best sourdot bakeries in the future but if you don't introduce yourself to making your own starter in baking sour dough or grilling or being a butcher. How will you know what you're actually going to be good at. That's great advice. Can we act your mom for a second. I wanna talk about your mom and her restaurant experience. Oh yeah so. I was almost born in in my my family's restaurant literally. Yes she was in in the daytime. She's their accountant so she was making sure that they balance their books. My mom is super smart. She doesn't like talking about it. She's like super smart with numbers. I never need a calculator. When i'm around her and she was making sure that like nine restaurants were running properly and viciously and above board be. Has all of these folks like i grew up with them. They saw me almost born in these restaurants. Also these folks had worked with my family's company for years you know so. She made sure that she was always taking care of them. You know making sure that our friend like that. The financials were right and She was pregnant with me. And the office was in the basement and ninety first and broadway and She went downstairs and her water broke and she almost couldn't come up the stairs. She was like oh. My god i was like. I'm just out here just trying to be born in stuff. I lo- y'all hiring you know. Oh my gosh. So she got to the hospital in time they did. They got to hospital in one of the biggest snowstorms in the nineties. And i came out but that would have been a few were actually born in a restaurant i know but is is that ethical like is is that about like. Is that up to code like addo. I feel like i if i knew that story. I dunno i'd be like oh. Why weren't you at home. You know think given your that. Your mom knew the industry so well was she encouraging you or did she try to discourage you. She absolutely tried to discourage me. She was like please because back then right in the eighties and nineties. The two thousand people that looked like me weren't chefs. They wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to run a restaurant or a bakery. Let alone be hired for more than maybe a cook position at the lowest tier. I was talking to a friend chef ozzy from and she was telling me like in her experience and fine. Dining you know all you see in the back of the kitchen is black and brown cooks and then the representation in the front is all you know. Non black conditions people of color. So of course. My mom was scared. You know she has me who has melanin and her skin an afro a button nose. And she's scared. She's scared that the same industry that she knows is gonna break me and it almost did everything that i'm experienced as a woman of color in the industry wasn't welcoming. It wasn't kind. It was it felt like i was fighting for my life every day. But still you constantly pushed forward. I don't i don't get the sense that you ever let that deter you. Can you talk about your experience with jacques torres. And why did you decide. You wanted to work for him. And how did you get your job. It wasn't until three years later on in new york. Kitchens small restaurants big restaurants fine dining and not that i was finally like i need a change of life like this aggressive to go home at four in the morning all the time so then come back at noon and i was like. Maybe it's different if you work in pastries and also life on okay. So let's look up the best pastry chefs in new york. You know mr chocolate came up in like i never worked with chocolate like that. I would like to learn. They had just moved to their brooklyn army terminal location where they have their factory. I was living in harlem at the time. So i went all the way to bay ridge. I forget names now. That i'm living here in dc but I went to bay ridge tonight. Just went to the factor announced like high. You don't know me from adam. But i would like to work here and i hadn't had built up a good resume. Islands sous-chef. I was willing to leave it all behind because just like i don't really care how much can pay me. I just want to work for you. I just wanna learn. I'm open willing. You know and he was like i respect that and he hired me and then within four months i became his pastry sous chef the youngest in the company you just literally showed up on their doorstep. Yeah i feel like back then. Need didn't have like poach jobs or Culinary agents to lead you to the water to drink so you kinda had to do like. I don't wanna say like grassroots. You have to be like pretty aggressive. You know it's like finding an apartment in new york like you re very aggressive to get it and that's the same thing with jobs that you feel like we're gonna impact your career. It's not easily attainable. But the only thing that i was very moved by was that jacques didn't ask me any any other questions more than where did you go to school. And that was it like he didn't ask me like my work experience. He let me start at zero. On knowing that i had experienced by that i was willing to like not use it as a crutch to say good or i'm good at this or you know i was just like very humble like you know more than me so if you can teach me i will work here. You know in. It was the first time ever in the industry where i was treated like a person. I wasn't yelled at like i had weekends off. I would work nine to five basically and they would. They promoted me like. They told me they were like. Hey you know you're learning about chocolate and you're creating all of these things at lightning speed. That's not normal. You know you wanna be a pastry. Sue and i was like. Is it anything different than what i have to do. Now and they were like no absolutely not but it's title so they kinda like rewarded me for my work. And that's the first time that i ever felt validated like chef hockey and i at one point we designed like a chocolate line of like shoes and purses you know i was able to come up with like ice cream flavors and there's a creativity to my job that i've never experienced before like i never had the opportunity to be creative. And then once they saw that they didn't wanna let it go but life is kind of tricky like that. So i was like in wanting to know more as like i have to see how far i can push these limits. I asked to like work. Different places sorry. Kinda like round in new york. And i experienced a world that i had been shielded from a year and a half. You know a lot of people would hire me or like. Allow me to come into their kitchen and they would say. Do you think you're somebody you work with jock tours. And i'm like no i don't i don't think i'm i just want to learn you know so they would literally try to tear you down before you even start at the job. Oh yeah honestly you know and it was very dehumanizing and i vowed that if i ever became a manager i would never treat anybody like that again. I would never treat anybody how i was treated. You know i would never let anybody come into an interview and look at them and rip their application in their face. You think they were doing that. Because you a woman of color or do you think they were trying to exert dominance over anyone who walked in the door. It could have been a mixture of both right. I had a level of confidence after being told that at something for a year and a half and then knowing that they allowed you that they let you go and explore more options. Of course you you you feel kind of like i'm ready to take on the world and still this day. I still don't go into any place shy anymore. Right in the beginning of it. I was very shy and jock and hostile broke fat in me. They were like you need to own up to what you know you know. You're this is different. You know your your mind is a little different and if we could replicate you have you everywhere like we would. We would want that but we can't. You're just you. You know so that kind of encouragement like built me up into the person that i am today. Where i'm not cocky right because if you're if i feel like if you're like like secure in yourself and you're like my desserts are the best thing on planet earth. Sometimes they just stopped being the best thing on planet earth. You know but. I know that there's confidence you know. I'm very confident in in me. Being able to make something as simple as bon bon because they lie jock and hostility were able to like positively reinforced me every day but then going into the industry again coming out of you know like little safe haven that we had at the brooklyn army terminal torres i just. I felt so defeated. That was when. I finally realized that i had issues with my mental health. Because i i was. I was broken. I had somebody treat me so badly and dehumanize me to the point where i lost control of who i was and it was After therapy and after kind of like getting back into like a place of zen that i realized that i was like conditioned to think that i was less than and then somebody told me i was. I was a little better. You know and then somebody had to remind me crush me. I never experienced something that intense in my life again. And i'm very careful with how i operate. Now it changed my whole being. You know hell was that a work experience. That did that to you. I mean we. We weren't even talking about mental health issues in the industry back then and you were going through that i mean. How did you find help that you needed. I found support in my friends in the brooklyn army terminal a really lifelong friendships. And my on then boyfriend. Now husband was able to like steady me. I think like. If i didn't have that support system i might have never returned to the industry ever again and then my mom of course you know my mom. She kinda like helped me go through the process in the latino community. It's not really easy to say you have mental health issues. Because then that's a sign of weakness but my mom was like there's nothing wrong with not being yourself in that respect right like if you if you need help go get help you know and everybody kind of like surrounding me like embraced me and then i ask shock to come back as i cannot come back to work and he was a guest absolutely you know like he. He had my job on hold. You know then. I had to move to dc because your husband had a job there bright had gone through everything i had like ahead my like spirit broken and then i had returned back to i had gotten married and then returned back to the chocolate factory and then a few months later like up. End my life again to come to dc. You know Which wasn't a bad like a bad choice or it wasn't you know it was just the time you know. Life is very precarious while it can be serendipitous. It just life is complicated. I think it's remarkable. You didn't give up on the industry. I mean i. I know how talented you are. So it would have been terrible for this industry to lose you but given what it had put you through. I mean i quit. I was quite ireland's love worked at the post office. I had a job and everything. Like i had it lined up. I all i needed to do. This and I might have been getting government pension in my life would have been a lot different. You know we're very lucky that you stuck with it. We're gonna jump ahead a little bit. I mean we're gonna have to have you back on the show to to talk more about your career. But i want to jump ahead to kiffin. Kin kind of restaurant can you. For those. who don't know what kevin can. Can you tell us yes. Oh killing into that. An african caribbean restaurant. In the warf area in washington dc we tried to take flavors from the african diaspora and represent them either infusion or in its totality to just kinda give people an idea of how big the african diaspora actually is in the in the whole world is really like a movement or like sonata of the slave trade. But the story being told the food. And how did you connect. I had moved to. Dc and is actually pretty small so everybody thinks a dc big city. It's not everybody knows each other. Everybody knows everybody. Who's working in the industry. If you're in dc. Don't burn bridges like it's not really good 'cause we all know each other but kwami kinda like saami at events and then like reached out he's like. Hey are you from the bronx. And i was like yes. He's like. Okay keep in contact. So it didn't matter what events i was going to or what was happening was always like a big support. He would always make sure to reach out and say hi. And i had gone to my first pastry chef job where i finally took the big leap of faith instead of being like somebody's like assistant or somebody Behind the scenes Which was. I was very comfortable in. I i liked being a supporting role. But i figured i was like. I'm not getting any younger. I'm gonna hit thirty in a few years. I should try to at least do this to see what happens. I can always go back to doing what i'm normally doing. In my supporting roles in iron gate hired me and it was like a whirlwind over there. Like everybody was just really enamored with what. I was able to create in the stories that i was able to tell and then kind of like the the fusion that i created with my heritage and greek and italian cuisine and kwami was always going to eat desserts. I didn't know. Because i always in the kitchen and i was like very shy. You know and finally he reached out he was like. Hey i would love for you to join my team kincannon. I see what you're doing with these like afro-caribbean flavors that's what we do here to come into it here. And i was like oh i guess. This is the next logical step. You know like this makes sense. So i didn't know what was like expecting but i just wanted to create desserts and keep creating the opportunity to be a pastry chef doesn't come often to women of color because if people write about either they take your picture and then you're representing the company. I've been told several times that i don't fit the look or fit the theme of what they want to want. Want as representation in restaurants. It's the sad reality like we all didn't speak about it because we were just so nervous to like be seen as like the whistleblower and we relied. Maybe we need. We need to stay quiet so that we can get jobs so a lot of us endured like that for we would like work together. And we'd be like i just went to this interview and they looked at me and then they told me that the position was filled. And then the very next hour they put up a new job. I'd looking for a pastry chef we all are trying to navigate. It's still not easy. You know what i mean. And i wrote in the washington city paper here on ways to you know promote from within you know and to stop this racial bias that you have when you're picking what you think is going to be your public figure for the restaurant. None of that matters if the food tastes good so kwami really kinda like brought me in. And then i just i wanted to be there to support him and everything that he was doing and then if you remember anything about last year it's that it was a crazy year for chef kwami so i was just there making sure that the restaurant was following through with what his mission was his vision and people started learning about my desserts. I mean. I don't think that they're like these like over the top for like i just tell the story and i use my childhood flavors to guide you through my life experience. One of my favorite desserts that have on the menu is the plan tain sticky buns and that was inspired by my mom. She loves all things sweet plantains and she actually eats them with brown sugar and cinnamon and bros lie. She roast them. So i made that desert because we were watching guy. Fieri my mom's my favorite character on food network mine also to subsequently guy fieri you know so i was like oh my gosh. My mom loves this pecans sticky. One that he's enjoying on this show and my mom loves plan sweet plantation. So i'm gonna make this dish for her. It was actually pretty fun to make that dish. Because one thing that i do. When i'm making a dish. I include the whole kitchen front of house back of the house sweet and savory and they all get to give me pointers and like like they taste all of our food so we work on desert for at least a whole month before goes live. Sometimes it's the idea is right there and just make it. You know and other times i wanna see them like interacting with desert tasting seeing how i changed the salt levels and using coconut sugar as opposed to like light brown sugar and it was just like a like a mini viral phenomenon inside of the kitchen and we were all tweeting bado. We will all like doing instagram. Lives about it. We we had the i think it was like the launch date was like january or something like that and like people were having like countdowns. And they're like. Oh my god is gonna come is gonna bonds know just so many joy. Did it wind up that. Every single diner in the restaurant would order them for the table. We would make over. I don't even know how many like over how many but every day we had to have them on account i would have like at least one hundred portions and they were all an account and they would all sell out. I guess it was like a cult favorite as people would be like. I'm here for the contained bundled. Why are you whispering worry whispering you know like why. Are you so like excited about this plantation bun but you can taste my mom's joy regarding her love of i fieri and plantains. You can taste in the dish. And that's exactly what i do. I just take memories and sentiments. And i put it on a dish you know and sometimes it's not beautiful sometimes. It's very straightforward and people. Just they feel you can feel that like connection when you eat food like. Can you tell us about another dessert. I have something called the chocolate chip thick him. And i called it that because i wanted to kind of take away that like negative connotation with the word thick and fat and juicy because usually when you look at a black or brown woman's body told like oh she's toothache or you know it's not the right proportions are you know it's too and you you feel like you are an object on display. So i wanted to make like this big. Can i curse. I wanted to make this big cookie to kind of like be powerful. It'd be like a chocolate too thick. Him and i want you to say thick them over and over when you have to order. This and people are so uncomfortable there. Can i get the chocolate chip in it. There's nothing wrong with being sick. There's nothing wrong with having curves. There's nothing wrong with with who you are. They is nothing wrong with that word. So break that stereotype. And i feel like there's only one place on planet earth that would have let me do something like that. So those kids in kin Had been working on that recipe. Since i was volunteering in williamsburg brooklyn with a homeless shelter. I would use cookies like that. To sell on the corner williamsburg to raise money for feminine products for the local girls that were going into that stage in their life. L. u. remarkable. That is a good segue into baker's against racism because clearly philanthropy standing up for people standing up for yourself china. Make a difference is something you've lived your whole life. Yeah i've been pretty quiet about it like i like. I said before our very shy still am i guess. It seems weird because it seems like an oxymoron. Because i'm always in the public light now but it's like pulling teeth actually to get me to do stuff like this. I didn't mention that you were james beard. Nominee for rising star. How did that feel them. I don't know so. I don't know i don't think about it often. I just i don't let it my judgment. The things that are the most important to me are making sure that people are safe and people are happy and that i can create a good work environment in that people can find joy in their jobs. When i i couldn't find joy in my job before so while i'm very honored. Thank you james beard foundation but to me like to talk to deandra my pastry sous chef and hear her say you know the words. I love you to me. You know that's on similar levels of getting nominated for the james beard. It must've been. I mean you can tell me how you felt. But i would imagine it was crushing to be nominated to be working at this very different kind of restaurant. You know run by who has been very open about the discrimination. He's faced in the past. He clearly wanted to create something different from what he'd experienced and then corona virus strikes and the restaurant has to close. How did you handle that. I think it was good for me at kissing ken. We were running at one hundred miles per hour supporting chef kwami and then all of a sudden i was running at one. Thousand miles of our is supporting shift. Kwamena sudden all of these like accolades started amounting to me. It's a lot of pressure to keep up. You know when people don't often see a woman of color of black woman from the caribbean in these positions that are so esteem and getting recognized from organizations. In from foundations that are so hot highly regarded. There's so much pressure to make sure everything's right while making sure that your staff is good like making sure that they're not being overworked or over put in a situation. That's not right because you want to keep up with the the clout so coronavirus stopped. And we all had a moment to breathe and focus again on our mental health than i'm closer to nikki and deandra assessing floor freddie my core team because i have time to talk to the more now you know tax will call. You did not use this time as a hiatus. No no no i wanted. I felt like there was a lot of injustice regarding the immigrant community the undocumented community in the restaurants so i use my time in my resources i donate my time one hundred percent and with danielson your at serrano. She's also dominican Like meat and we just raising funds for an organization here called the dc that helped undocumented immigrants get legal funding or get help for rent that the virus was a very real and present thing and their stimulus checks in their unemployment checks. Were coming in. So yeah. I use my time to give back to a portion of the community that i believe one hundred percent is the sustaining pillar of the restaurant industry and tell us about your doughnut project. Oh yeah it's just donuts that have like my childhood flavors. There's not a lot of dominican people in the dnb area and that's like dc maryland. Virginia so i wanted to give people a taste of home as we all were kinda like sheltering in place and unable to those who are families or go back home to the dominican republic. I wanted to give them those like familiar. Flavors in something. That was very kind of like familiar in american cuisine. Which is donuts. you know. It's a great vessel this. You can't go wrong with a good donut. Tell us about some of the flavors so we had the be color. Mcconnell which was a pineapple and guava failed brioche dona with two speedo which is italian. Meringue the dominican cake. That is the country's national cake If you go to any dominican birthday party that's what you would eat. And i made that into a donut and then i had a fashion donut with a little bit of nutmeg and cinnamon and a passion food in hibiscus glaze called komala floor to kinda give a mosh to selena and how her representation on tv. Kind of empowered me to see a latino woman on tv. And then i had another one. If called dorsey the legend. So that was an image to verona. Actually because they were the only company that at ever reached out to me to kind of include me in the conversation as a chef they would like reach out and make sure that they answered all of my questions and they would you know. Let me try products or take me to events or whatever and when you think about it a lot of chefs when you get to like a certain level. Everybody's like trying to get a piece of them and the only one that was like we see you and we value you. So i did that. Dulcie the letcher for them. But it's a play on words because They have a toasted white chocolate. That's called dulcie. And we have in latin x culture. Something called deal says legitimate says Caramelized cream and i turned that into a donut flavor Mimicking those light chain with the dulcie chocolate using a little bit of malt vinegar coconut. While i'm very sorry. I don't live in the dc area able to try any of these. I think this is kind of a theme for a lot that you do. But this kind of became wildly popular also and took off. Yeah i think it was. Just folks found themselves in these donuts. It didn't matter if you were dominican or if you were just Latin next identifying you found like home. You know you could taste home in that. I had with daniela and andrew and aj from sarah nada we Kind of like devise a plan to launch a successful pop up while being socially distant. So i had made up. The concept made up the logo and then like the plan on how to sustainably. Offer this food without having to like make more or less than what you need to make. So it's it makes a little bit of an impact in the environment. You only use what you need to use. People only come to the establishment for reason and then pickups where like a minute two minutes each if we said hi maybe it was four minutes so we kept people as safe as possible. You know so it was something that we kind of prided ourselves in because it was just so effortless. There was no hiccups ever. And that's not easy to do when you're first launching pop up in the middle of a pandemic which was how. I kinda like segue into baker's against racism chef. Will she worked At least in dc. And she's there pastry chef and i'm actually a big win fan. She she didn't know that at the time. Because i'm very like private by like sneak in and out of restaurants when i eat so that they don't have to spend more money in sending like complimentary stuff because that's how the industry is but i don't want them to spend anything more than why i order because i want to support them and willow Was really good at like mashing flavors and she had like this like coconut pan. Dan pudding with like like this. Like roasted banana and like coconut. Chip soc is great. Willow reached out to me and she was like. Hey you know I see everything that's going on in the news with the protests and black lives matter movement. And you know in the death of george floyd you know breaks my heart. I saw that you were hosting a really successful pop up for donut. Benefiting you the dc Would you be interesting. And doing something. Similar with me for the minnesota freedom fund and i was like willa. Gimme a day to think about it. You know and she was probably mortified. She like oh. My god i i you know in china do good thing. I kinda like maybe asked to do too much. You know other than being and she liked message me on monday. She was like. I'm sorry you know you don't actually have to do this with me. We don't have to bake anything. I'm sorry if i like took your time and i was like. Oh no. what's your email and had formatted everything that we have done at dona dona into an accessible document. And i made a mission statement and i was like if we're all going to bake you and by at most can maybe raise like three thousand four thousand dollars. Which isn't a small amount of money. But imagine if we got more bakers to come and join us. And i had put that into writing had given my guidelines and kind of like a a motive operations to host like a successful pop up but it was a virtual bake sale. That was decentralized. Open all 'cause. I saw instagram post. I saw the hash tags. I i saw you guys baking. Your sour does and banana bread. And i was like you can sell that and raise funds for organizations. That are localized to you. That are going to impact black lives and had reached out to rob chef. Rob here in dc. He owns oyster. That's about to open and i was like. Hey rob i love your graphics all the time and i know you make them yourself. Can you help me. he's like sure. What do you need from me. And i was like. I need you to make a logo. That says baker against racism. You had all creative freedom. And he's like what you know. And i'm like yeah. I'm sorry i'm sorry. I put this on your plate please please and it just took off from there you know. That was on. Willow reach out to me on the thirtieth that was my last pop update also tires and night and i had only raised like a thousand nine hundred dollars for youtha and then like rob made the graphics on sunday. I compile everything into google folder. I e mailed willa on monday i had talked to maru from sarah nada. She does our pr. And you can talk to them locally. And maybe some people want to join locally. And i was telling we'll planning so allows like. Hey we only need eighty participants to join this in for it to be like impactful. And she's like what do you mean like if we all bake one hundred and fifty desserts at eight dollars. All we need is eighty people and move. We would raise ninety six thousand dollars and she's like. Oh god in you know i could hear well as brain going and we were so excited like my god ninety six thousand dollars. Luckily my husband is very good at logistics and stuff and he's like do not accept any of the money yourself make people donate directly to the organizations and it'll be less hassle for you like yes that sounds like a very wise idea so you are hoping you'd get about eighty folks participating happened instead. Oh my goodness so. We launched on thursday night. I had secured a hashtag and an instagram and twitter. And i made a google email. It caused zero dollars to make this like literally. It costs us zero dollars to start this initiative. And i launched it and i just of like hey bakers. 'cause i feel like if i explain how i talk fever going to be like all no so. Oh but i was like hey bakers. Do you hate racism. And i was just like this is how you can join us. Use these hashtag but donate and learn about the organizations that are actually impacting black communities and enriching these communities and protecting these communities with because against racism. I really wanted people get into instead of it. Being a hashtag where you say black lives matter you move on. You're you're baking. You're doing something that's so personal. My grandmother taught me how personal it is to cook for somebody to cook for somebody in feed them is is wanting them to live so in baker against racism. I was making a call to action for people to want. Black lives to live. And that's why we say black lives matter so now where on five continents seventeen countries and over forty one states over two hundred plus cities. We have bakers against racism. Berlin paris london australia richmond. We have a cast iron collective in los angeles seattle. We have toronto new york dice affiliate ready. I'm getting confused. Miami texas minneapolis. It's a it's something that like. I said it costs zero dollars to make. I just gave people by resources. Something that i learned during covid and gave them the opportunity to join and people were willing the same sentiment that will ahead in her heart. We were able to turn it into this huge worldwide event. You've had such an interesting journey pellett and face so much discrimination in the industry. Does this give you hope for what comes next. I think it opens up the door. Bakers against racism is the first step in creating lasting change in black communities especially within the restaurant industry. While i'm so excited that people are participating. I wanna see what you guys do after baker's against racism. I want to see how you hire from within. I wanna see how you educate and empower people of color to become leaders in the culinary industry. I want you to really care about black lies. It's not just a one time thing. It's not just the will revisit it in the future. This is our life that we're asking you to care about so after baker's against racism ends. I hope that people keep the same energy in the same momentum to keep moving forward for change. We've planted incredible seed and knowing you. I'm sure there's going to be a part two to this where you can kind of track. What's going on. But i'm not even going to ask you about that yet because i want you to be able to enjoy this moment. And you're also participating. Yeah i think. It's kind of a lot now i actually And doing a passion fruit strawberry buckle cape kind of to play a little bit of a mosh to the south but still keeping my heritage and then kind of highlight the season that we're in and then deandra my pastry sous chef is make you a cake which sounds very tropical but is very southern. And it's her mom's favorite dessert. So it's no marsh to the black woman and nikki. She is my head baker from the philippines and she is making her famous banana bread. It's like a local staple here. We all love it so everybody's pretty excited. I've already sold out. We've also now. How much do you think you can deal potentially raise so much. I we're tracking it right now. We have our donation tracker and the number just keeps jumping and i just keep getting lightheaded and unlike this is intense you know. I thought it was intense. When i saw the number of baker's but the generosity in people's hearts right now especially for so many different organizations you know we have the oakland project than black mamas and we have the innocence product and people were really researching. What these organizations are doing organizations. That have been here for ten fifteen twenty years. You know. they're now just finally aware of them and it will giving before giving wholeheartedly. And that's beautiful. You know like. I don't have to will you to give. I'm not coursing you not forcing you. You know you out of the abundance of of what you're feeling in your heart your taking not only your time and your talents but your your resources and then the people who are fine the their donation in buying entrusting that we're gonna just make an impact that's bigger than ourselves. You know absolutely will love talking to you. I can't wait till you come back on the show once. You've had a bit of a break personally and professionally. You just have so much wisdom to share. I have to ask you one last question. I know you're still young. But i would like to know what. Your advice is. Too young or aspiring pastry chefs. Don't give up. This industry is very difficult. We have to stand and exert a lot of physical energy and also mental energy. Don't let the burden of being successful distract you from the joy of creating and expressing yourself through food. I would just take it one day at a time. My biggest thing after kind of realizing that i was going through all of the my struggles was that i reset every day is a new day and everything that happened yesterday is not gonna hold back my today. That's beautiful palo you really the bomb. Thank you thank you. That's it for today. Show thank you to payless for inspiring so many of us and for being such a good friend to me and to cherry bomb. If you'd like to support paula. You can follow her on instagram. To see what's up with baker's against racism lobau data bakery compass rose. And my don. She is a very busy woman. Lobo dig a bakery by the way does ship. Some of it's wonderful baked goods so check them out. I am very partial to the chocolate room. Cake if you would like to purchase a copy of cherry bomb with powell on the cover check out our stock list that is not easy to say. Stockists list on cherry bomb dot com and support one of our favourite bookstores. Thank you to carry gold for supporting this episode. Radio cherry obama's edited by cat garelli and produced by cherry bomb media. Our theme song is all fired up by the ban challa hanging there. Everybody and thank you for listening. You're the bomb. I'll have what she's having. Hi my name is veena annum somewhat and i run the baking beans account instagram. Do you want to know who i think is the bomb adriana dorming the face behind cozy kitchen through her blog and illustrious videos adriana creates amazing dishes that are easy to execute and packwood sophisticated flavors like her gingerbread cake or her famous banana chocolate chip cookies adriana also channels her latin american heritage into her work as well as being a constant advocate for making the culinary world more equitable. She is the bomb.

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Episode #42 "No Show"

Talking Sopranos

2:23:49 hr | 4 months ago

Episode #42 "No Show"

"They found out. i'm good. How are you everything. All right very good. you know. i'm in a good mood. Yeah why not why. Why shouldn't i be in a good mood. You're not always in a good mood. I i. I'm gonna tell you know. I know you for a long time now saw. Yeah you seem a little grow. Whose bother you. Somebody bothered you. Nobody's bothering anything. I'm very excited because today today. Show a doing something we haven't done. We're going to have to guests to separate interviews We have the great. Jerry adler heche played has also have matthew price who was production sound mixer who worked on all eighty six episodes of the sopranos. Now we recorded these interviews separately few weeks ago when we thought it'd be a great idea to put them together on one special episode. So we're gonna go our first interview today is with the great jerry other Who played hash and He was in the pilot as well. Wasn't it. I believe so can't arithmetic actor. He's ninety one years old. He was nice enough to join us. Matthew price has seen everything. Hey see everything for the beginning. He's got some great stories looking forward to these guys. So here we go His jerry adler my friends. This is a legend and he was a really big part of the show throughout the whole show Fan favourite Just an all around. Great guy and Warn brooklyn new. York comes from an acting family. Great uncle was the schachter jacob pavlovich adler children were stellar in luther adler began his career as a theatre. Stage manager went on to produce direct many plays including the nineteen. Seventy six revival of my fair lady has appeared on forty five different tv series including the good wife northern exposure mad about you transparent review me of course sopranos. He was in manhattan murder mystery in her shoes prime a most violent year. Please welcome mr jerry adler also known as herman hash rabkin. Welcome jerry. Good to see powell. Thank you for doing this really appreciate it. How's everything you look great. You said you were surprised that you could see wrong. I am much. I hadn't seen you well. I rented here When you were shooting a broad city. And i just happened to be walking by and i saw but You know as time goes on everybody's doing their own thing you kinda lose track you know. Even though lots of the house is pleasant to renew william trends nice absolutely. I remember the pilot. My first show in the pilot was a scene with you and jimmy. Open the office of the bottom being remember. Yeah that was your first day. I while always doing this dialogue about some. Nobody knew what i was talking about get. How did you wind up. How did you wind up on the show. How did that all happen. What was what was the process of you. Beekeeping so of northern exposure and david chase wrote them. And we're gonna live very well when we did not let exposure then. When he was doing this pilot he gave me a call when he said that he had a cameo that he wanted me to do. And what was i available straining. I was just getting out of the hospital. Goebel routes operation and Not that when you see me on on on the pilot on wearing clothing. Because i was all bandaged up so you didn't have to. You don't have to read jerry. He just gave it to you. Yeah i mean you wanted to people on the phone. Yeah so you're wondering a few people because almost everyone that we've spoken to has had to audition for the show reduce of everybody. I think yeah. I think everyone. Yeah you will one of the chosen once did you know Did you know that it would be a like a regular role that you'd be on for many episodes. Did he say the pilot or originally when you call me on the phone. The senator was a cameo in the pilot. would i do. I said sure or do anything. Graham since it's called the sopranos just one wound. You can't see the show when the show of eventually got picked up to keep it teach you know. Do you didn't know jim. You don't. I assume you didn't know any. Did you know any of the actors. Did you know Marsha michael amid jimmy that same day christoph with us if you did you know any of the other actors jerry that before the show w why was has. She was based on a little bit on Was morris levy was what that one of the guys that was based on over looted. As a matter of fact. David told me one day that original idea for the whole show was about jimmy's father. Anne heche david wanna do about music. We're emphasis for and You worked with jim a lot and we all know what a good guy he was. I mean why you worked. Mostly with jim right. First time i met him was as about this guy. I i think it was his first show two or the michael. Now maybe a guest spot here and there you know like Like me it was my first series. He was not what he became to be very young. Just starting out. Yeah all my wonderful experience with him. And where you guys and jerry so you. You came from obviously Showbiz family right. I mean You are stage manager. I did you always aspire to be an active. Tell me how you started out. Family was in within the theme idle. Love him they were or father was all of the groups. Either chose strasbourg in harold. Clermont came from right home. What did your father do for them. Was the journal manager. He was the money man. I was so i didn't know that was co sell adler lose adults with those productions was young kid remembering the of studio really came out of the group really relief from the group theatre. The actors studio kind of studio renewable. Isn't it goes from in the middle eighties into trade. I was doing mad about you and that was the reason. Why would the contract of arnos. Because i was doing mad about you guys Sitcom you three weeks and have a week off and would you give me a ring during those weeks who pilot valves going to be available on the fourth week and if i was i would fly in. Do the show and fiber. That's why i was not in the contra jerry. Did you always aspired to be an actor. Never thought of it stage direction. This and then. I went onto television. It's sage manager and director. Never thought about it. And then how come about one day. What of my. Who is a casting director coldly. She was doing a movie called The the bugah with She everytime director describes we once thought describes you. You're gonna come and meet the they sent up a meeting and it was a big thing. Meant this guy. I walked into the room. Big on me. I got the part nancy why counterpart for trusdale sent him. I want to the room to audition. You did this take on me thinking he said you will exactly like my father and i said i got to enact the rush. Great now you. You worked with woody allen. As did i michael. I don't think ever did though. He got cashed at one. And i had to. Yeah but. I don't do it because i did you like did you. Like working allah strange. I enjoyed it was like schuessel partners. My second big movie. And of course i was very impressed being a woody allen movie. Yeah you know the reason. I ask because i remember asking dominic because he did the play woody allen and i don't think he was that fond of the process and I said i said what's it like. Working whatever he said. Talk to jerry. Talk to jerry. They'll tell you. About what. And then i wind up working with him a few years ago when i got my own taste of what that was like i was doing a a directing so whopper in california and i gotta rain from woman. Who had the casting. Davis one mobile exposure under nobody was available to audition for what is moving and This is the one time i did. A big addition our flew into new york five scenes for him and he was wearing wearing the dark. You don't see an account. The couches turned around to all you see is top of his head. You hear anything in. Thank you and i came out and the chessy director said he loved. You look said before you hang on a second. She waiting to see him. She came out and said. I want you to go for constitute a job at the company. Why should come to myself getting accustomed. Pretty i got the ball custom trillions. Hey i got this without much of a reading. The guys are they measure everybody goes. He doesn't wanna come back to california. Mysolar might to bring you back april our four months. I got the part that it's very strange process. I he was in the dark. Also when i audition. Here's in the shadow like it was like being in one of his movies. Kinda i didn't find that i don't remember him being in the shadow. I remember being kind of normal. I don't really don't when addition for him you saw to the person doing so you're still here. Well he is often. I heard yeah i. I think the purple rosa. Cairo I think you know but Michael keon from not mistaken michael key and who was star and he got fired very early on and then jeff daniels took it over. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah you fuck around world. The totally dependent on casting to kesse correctly hearing jerry. You should have wrote a book. I'm sure you've got incredible stories of all years in the theater and all the actors about what's the title you have a title next. What's i like that a lot for us me. Ask you a question. What was your favorite episode of. The sopranos. favoring favored at the scene hit his ahead. Yeah you michael. What we had this the music stuff. Yeah i i played you the bannon you said they. Your record has said this is not a All all your years all the actors you've worked to it. Who is your favorite actor. That's you enjoyed the most that you worked with your favourite besides stephen. Jimmy was a wonderful wonderful guy to work with it. Was that warmth that cooperation. They were achieving of being with you listening now. Let's ruin shorter. Yeah he was. How many episodes did you do. you remember. did like the whole fifty fifty one. Wow wow what fifty which was great. That's a lot of episodes. Eighty six eighty eighty six eighty six. You know jerry. We had a lot of fun. There was a lot of parties. We've told people. I mean you know. We had so many between the emmys and the sega wars and the the the christmas parties. i mean. They don't do that anymore you know. There's not that many parties. I mean we had wrap parties and we had a lot of fun You know like you said it was very much like a family and free. Offer the emmys and they toil of gas. When there was was great a lot a lot of credit michael used to get bombed at every every time we got together remember michael. Ucf only one. He used to get drunk remote area. Yeah only me. I was the only one who ever raised the glasses. Those events. yeah. We take over the peninsula hotel. The peninsula roof the roofs pool the bar. It was like we had the run of the joint for a for a few days. It was great all this throw leads us. We still talk about the job. Did you have it. Just don't talk about what ten years ago when we were told here by teen extraordinary. Yeah jerry tony rico. Usa give you words of wisdom because he used to give us a lot of words of wisdom especially at the words. Don't he do this. wonderful bud. Cast thing you know. Couple of producers approached us Keep going i'm glad you could join Thanks for coming today. Man guys look aged a bit. I i looked better than michael jerry. You can admit it were good. He's looking a little scrape. Look better clean cut jerry. Thank you very much. I love him of saying you guys again talking together in new york. Let's have dinner lunch or something. I'll be on. The upper west side will come and see. You gotta take care my friend. My friend gary you. We'll see thank you. I enjoyed this. I enjoyed talking to jerry kid. Jerry adler that's sweet was a big part of the show Really contributed a lot to the show. His character very important than he just was perfect perfect casting. he was One of the few foist of reason on the show one of the few that All the guys of course Tony soprano and tony. Soprano's father johnny. He was his concer year over the years and really trusted his judgment and word about about everything and of course You know the great scene. I mean his background and coming from the adler family and become a was a director and a stage manager. I mean jerry's like ninety one. Two years old is eerily. I believe so required a ninety nine point nine hundred ninety nine. Yeah yeah he should write a book. That's a good idea. i hope he does. Yeah i'm sure he. He's got a lot of stories. I i was gonna ask Which act as he disliked and see if he would motherfucker few people but he's too nice a guy all right. We'll be right back right back. Talking sopranos sponsored by better help online counseling. now michael. We spoke about better help. They do a great job. I'll lot of our listeners. Love this. It's a lot of people get through this pandemic. I've gotten out that from from fans and listeners. That they really like it and they've gotten a lot of that and you don't walk and let's hope this pandemic end someday but this will continue on because it's in the privacy of your home and you don't have to go to the doctor's office you don't have to sit there in the waiting room. This is a whole nother way of looking at therapy and i think it's great stuff. Great now the new year can be a good time for mental health chicken. If you have always wanted to try therapy or do you like to try it again or you just need to talk some things out there to help office online licensed professional therapists who are trained to listen and to help with issues including anxiety. Depression stress relationship conflicts difficulty sleeping. Lgbt matters trauma anger family conflicts grief so f- esteem and more. Everybody got at least one of those i. I might have a few but everyone's got at least one. Finally it there. This can be intimidating and time consuming. 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Everybody knows the actors but not everybody knows that people behind the scenes and and they get a glimpse like we wanted to do behind the curtain. Who is making the show you learning about film and television if you want through our guests and through their expertise and we have a a real expert with us today for this guy's an emmy winner he also was there from day one. he did isla. he did all eighty six episodes. Not that many people or involved in the show for all eighty six episodes He's he was there through just about every scene if not every scene so he saw the good the bad and the ugly and nominated for seven emmys five for the sopranos but he won it just a couple of weeks ago for the first time this year for the marvelous mrs maisel nasal diesel overdue. And you know. I used to break. This guy's ball's if you can believe it. I used to call the susan. Lucci of sound med cost. Susan lucci got nominated. What i don't know how many times have finally won. And so a lotta times. He finally won my bed. So let's bring on bat price matthew price. How how are ya. I love luci right now. Not to brag. But actually i got six nominations for sopranos and two for mazel. I finally went from azel eight nominations. I'm really proud of you. Thought thank you. You inspired me see. I repeated it a million times about how i've been called the susan lucci sound about what's been twenty one years since my first nomination was sopranos screen and now mrs maisel great show. You landed onto terrific. Well i'm sure a bunch of stuff which we'll talk about but to really get chills kind of book ending Things you know Mrs maisel a hit show. You enjoy that. It's a great show. I mean everyone's terrific on it. It's a lot of fun comedy music. You know it's like it's a big show very challenging. It's the cast great cast so we have. We have so much. We laugh a lot. Can you explain to our listeners. Who are not familiar with you. Know the ins and outs of production. What exactly does a production sound mixer. Do in sure in a nutshell. I'm primarily responsible for recording the dialogue onset while the cameras roll the actors act It's not just about just recording. Sounds about capturing vocal performance. And that's essentially what i do. I run a department with a boom operator. He's host a long pole. With the mike. At the end and i have utility person will also be a boom operator or runs headphones. Whatever you know kind of the backbone of the department needs to be done onset so do you start out as a boom operator. I wanted to put my very briefly I like a better mixed than i was a boom operator. But i did start a boom operator and narrative work before i was mixing stuff like sopranos. I had done a lotta documentary work. I worked sixty minutes for a long time was a gig and twenty twenty and that kind of stuff and in some independent documentaries and stuff like that but i went on to do narrative that was kinda limited way technically and it kind of became the same and i just started mixing some short films but i got to boom for a guy named leroy lot was now won three academy awards i think he he's done The abyss and terminator and pirates of the caribbean and so i was just lucked into that. And then which projects. Oh i did How much we did. Some independent film called salvation. I don't even know what happened to it. And we did a short film where The comedian steven wright too short film when academy award for short something like that. So i you know. I didn't boom long before i started mixing but i i just short films first and then my first feature was called true. Love naturally wow feature for aida. I four zero and marian leoni is and actually i met my first wife on that. Who played annabel's mom even though she's only like six years older than at the time. But you know who is suzanne costello's cheese feel like the business a while ago. She was in How hartley film called trust She'd done some stuff like that but then she she left the business And then Then i was doing. I was trying to get my career going. So i call around volunteer for projects to get experience to meet people and i wound up on a short film a six day project. That was called at the time scene. Six take one and the was so well received the director. Tom bicho got the money to make a whole film and that became living in which is about making an independent all the craziest on film. And it's time. I work with see bush the first time i work with him and i did two more films with him. Double whammy and I forget another one somehow while my way the sopranos because when i did the short there was a woman name at least bizarre. Who's like the unit production manager. I worked for free. I knew is elise wound up doing the sopranos pilot now. I don't know if you guys know this but the pilots started with a whole different sound team and day. Yeah on day one. I actually started they spray on day one. They got into a big beef with henry bernstein with our age sound. The the original sound team got an abridged. Henry was like the ups for the pilot right or the any assistant director and the assistant director so They basically Depending on where you f- either quit or got fired on day. one I i think. I know so but anyway so i got the call from elise and i came in on day three four scenarios available. And you know change. 'cause became ten years and it was d- the greatest show on tv. So what did you think when you got on this. What was your first impressions of the sopranos. I mean you came on. It was already in production. You kinda came last minute. What was that like so you remember you. State your first day when it was like. I don't remember my first day. But i remember within the first week It's a henry story. Henry and i would have these epic battles onset all the time I love henry. I have so much respect for him. He's I love him. As was director. I worked with them and a bunch of times on different projects after sopranos and there was a scene when meadow had snuck out. She's trying to sneak into the house against the back window. And carmelo comes out with the rifle right and because she thinks there's an intruder and Way my sound card and as soon as they got those henry was a story up. So i'm like. I'm moving as fast as they can. You know. I can only move so fast. And he's like yelling. And i remember saying he lost one sound department of the wanted to lose another one. I'll be as quickly as i can. So that's the first day. I remember being on set but it was. You know i love the script. It was so different and then we shot the pilot over three weeks and we were all like. I don't know what's interesting it's different. We'll pick it up now. No i knew was good. I mean the the performances were great. The writing with great quirky. It was funny. I mean the scene. I mean some of my favorite scenes were tony's dream about the ducks. By the way. I brought this out to show you. I have the a t shirt from the pilot. Oh back from the pilot. And that's the back said. I've never seen that cool. Yeah so i still have that. I don't have the The boxers jamie. Lynn gave us at the said where it's a proud across the but i don't have those anymore but i you know the leather jacket and a lot. A lot of great swag but Yes so there's some some great stuff in it but you know who knew you know who knows what the public's who knows what's going to hit and what's not gonna hit and then there was a few months before. Hbo actually decided to go to series with it so we had to like three months three or four months. I was like three or four months. And then i heard because i was pretty new to the game at that point that they were thinking about possibly hiring a different mixture of i'd more experienced than me when they picked up for the show but fortunately for me and he was. He's a good music. Way makes a billion and it was billy chirac and he just retired highway. I don't believe anyway so they. They bought me back for it. And then we shot the rest. The other thing for season was thirteen episodes so we shot the other twelve episodes and we thought it was fantastic. I mean it was. So i mean working with. Jimmy was working with everyone. Eighty and jimmy rain. I mean it was like all star is great and the writing was terrific and You know all great directors. I don't tim tim. Van patten was there a season one or not appreciate how in culture was but but anyway and then you know we wrap the season ago. That was great. Let's see what happens. And then we got picked up for a second season. I think with the didn't hit before we started shooting. The second season hit the and it. And it just went gangbusters. The reviews just ridiculous. I mean the reviews really kinda made the show back. Everyone was forced to watch because reviews were so ridiculously over the top. Yes yeah That was radio app. That's right. I put them on the map you know. So it's touchy 'cause sometimes the sound man you know. Look i am going to call you sound you. Don't care it. So you put a mic on me. I emmy you can call me. Whatever you wanna jack. You're blowing blowing my lines not everybody's in the greatest mood all the time. People are freezing people. A hot people sweating. It's not always deal as we know what's first of all two questions. What's the weirdest place yet. Ever hit a microphone on somebody onto or just in general in general i mean you know. The people people know the traits in your tie the microphone. It's senior hat. Yai tire your jacket. you know. Sopranos for great because they always wore these polo shirts. Nice soft kind of dc to hide to mike and the plaque you know and it's like they always sounded great. The women were tougher I know dreyer jonah was wearing really short skirts. So it's really tough finding ways and now now the transmitters are like to speak but then they were like huge so we had tried to hide it and You know. I remember doing a movie Cyber of new york brittany murphy recipe and she was wearing a towel. And i had to put a transmitter on and it was like it was an unmentionable places so i had to hide it and i'm as fold. We did a scene in swimming pool in the last season. And fortunately rachel brosnahan placements. Mazel was wearing a swimming cap. So i put the transmitter night. Might put the mic under the cap. And you know we do. We put it in over ears. You know under wigs anywhere. We can hide it. It's not the mike hiding it so much because to be in general area you know around around here but it's trying to squeeze a paxton. I have these tiny little device. You gotta get really creative. Gotta get try to put the pack on the actors runners lines. He's in a bad mood. Sometimes you get caught in the crossfire. I would assume you know. I mean i think a good sign. Mixture tries to be not that i have the most low key personalities. But i think the sound mixer and that's that That situation has to be kind of has invisible as possible. I mean i've wired actors. Sometimes they're in there running lines or whatever and They say they come to me. I wired them. They say you're going to wire me and i go. I you already wired. Realize that's me that now but jimmy was tricky. Because i went down his pencil and i like you know it's like he's opening his pen. The thing is like you know where the guys. I gotta run a wire down the leg transmitter on the ankle like i'm sitting on my knees pants are open. You know. it's a little uncomfortable. But but jimmy would like always be walking around. I'm trying to wiring. I'm chasing him around with the microphone. He's talking to this and like the makeup people you know He would like take makeup and put it all over their face. You know while they were trying to make him what was some of the big challenges of the show like for you from your point of view like or even in general sense even specific scenes or things that were really really difficult and really challenging or that. Were really rewarding. Once you got done when when it came together the biggest challenge for the show was noisy locations. Noisy locate carnival away in newark. The member of that Twenty one also. How lodi the exterior bata being Satin dolls and lodi. So it's like right on the highway. I mean we're talking. They would always pick the biggest dialogue scenes at our. I remember there. Was i think when uncle june your i got the nod to lead in the room with like i don eighteen guys that was really challenging when these big cruise radio. Mike's mike's on tables. We'd have a boom opera and i had put that all together make it sound like it's one like it doesn't even sound like it's my So that was tricky There's some other big scenes like that sometimes the back room at the pork store. You know you guys have meetings back there this that and the other around the table john sitting around the table and that thing but though on film right how helpful whole series a shot on thirty five thirty five minutes a matt. Wallace your favorite kind of scenes on the sopranos. Did you like the big ones where there was all the guys i mean. Did you enjoy the soprano house. I mean you know. What was this your favorite team. You saw every seen pretty much you were there the whole time. Pretty much the entire wing. Yeah well the pine barrens of courses everybody's favorite episode you know and that was tough because we're out the snow it wasn't supposed to know when they wrote it and then we had this major down Blizzard that came in which made made the episode. Fantastic i you know i had. I have to say you know. I'm not i'm not. I'm not just blowing smoke. you know. Sopranos never got boring The scripture so brilliant. I mean. I always thought that we should. We laughed so much on that set. We had so much fun making it. I mean the hours ridiculously brutal. Especially the first season i mean. There wasn't a saturday agency. The sun come up after working. Sixty sixty seventy hour week. We work these. All nighters on friday but You know no it was. It was just feels really great. Great time jimmy. You know Set the tone onset And he's just a joy to to be around I it's hard to pick like a specific seen the funds so the dinner scenes in the soprano house. Great you know. I love the scenes That out michael did When he was trying to try and be a hollywood writer. I remember i. I remember a big scene. That was tricky because there was a maps of downpour of rain that flooded downtown manhattan and around the playground with John avro and Lucio web weber de girl alicia witt. Yeah alicia witt yes indeed girl right I don't know a hidden a hidden as they hit was my first nomination Back in season one and that was fun. Because i always love whenever there's music involves it always it's a little more challenging because it's not just talking so had to get the you know that music that was happening a lot of it was done live Yeah i it or you guys I can't think of anyone i didn't enjoy working with. I'll come you didn't love everybody sub bullshit. Mazel little kevin pollock. He's a half a perk. Any don't answer wordless. Put it this way at a wrap party. Kevin said to me. I sound guy. You're not too bad or not. Not knowing him coming from you. I take that as a couple days ago. You worked with a bunch of italian now. You're working with a bunch of jews whose food is better onset. I'll may mazel. Amazon prime mandate but a lot of money into into everything that they spend a lot of money on that shows. The first show i worked at that was at the same scale of sopranos because we know hbo but a lot of money into it. And of course jimmy brought out. The sushi spread every episode On fridays yeah. Yeah You know i look at tiny gotta tell you. I couldn't thank you enough for doing this. We love you. Thank you so much. I have a funny story for you though. I don't know. I haven't heard any on ending of interviews. I gotta talk about these melfi. Seems kinda toughest actually too because they will go on and on and on once they had to put in a double sized mac because the scene was so long they couldn't get through it with a regular eleven minutes they need to twenty two minutes of film and it was just brutal but in one of the melfi scenes somehow lorraine found a two foot long or so braid like a hairpiece a braid and she sat on it. And we're on. Jimmy's close up and we don't see lorraine and he's going on and i'm pouring his heart out in this big melfi and all of a sudden lorraine slowly opens her legs and his hairpiece falls out into the floor took his second before jimmy recognized and it was Pattern that's a good one. I've never heard that really funny. I heard that either at sounds like though. She likes to use prankster. that's for sure. She likes great and that boys. Oh my god. I love for voice. They they did. They did the amalfi. Tony scenes mostly our friday nights. Very late right yeah. There was one one time they they bunch like three of them together and you know we had worked already worked fifty hours for the weekend. Now we get on the state. There's nothing worse than being on a stage because you have to be inside. I mean it's as wanting thing did not do network when you you know when its exterior and you got to be outside at night. 'cause it's night but when they're interior nice and and you have to work all night when you could be shooting at during the day and they want like three or four melfi scenes together and it's like halfway through. I'm hearing snoring on the set. You know like stop. You know because people are snoring Yeah but friday nights on at supercup studios really funny. Well thank you very much man. You take care of yourself. Congratulations again congrats man. I ever emmy winner matthew price. You can't take that away from me now long overdue at starting youtube stall don't forget. That's what's on your tombstone steve. It was all bullshit. Bullshit that's how much else like. I want you to rig my tubes With sound so one of the people walk up to it. It's my voice on. It was all bullshit and you do that for just on a loop. I'll work working out working man. They cab ride your bike. Matthew price good man always has been He was a favorite of all cast. Absolutely really glad he got his do with the emmy. that's let's take. Let's take a break Today's episode is sponsored by private internet access. They make our favorite fee pin app. And they're the best choice for protecting your digital life and starting twenty twenty one on the right foot this and you need private internet access. You gotta trust me folks if you want to hide your browsing activity and ip address and curb your internet connection access full streaming libraries and keep packers at bay. You need private internet access. This year you could use private internet access to protect up to get this ten devices at the same time and everything is super simple. Should they have apps for every operating system or you have to do is push one boy and they take care of hiding your digital footprint. Listen if i can do it. If i'm smart enough to do it. You certainly can. New year's resolutions are hard to keep. But you can make privacy a priority in twenty twenty one and stay safe with private internet access at the help you out. Private internet access has the best deal for you. You could get a three year. Subscription at an eighty four percent discount with two extra months added for free. Let me say that again. You could get a three year. Subscription at an eighty four percent discount with two extra months aided for free. That's almost two dollars a month for complete digital privacy head to private to that access dot com slash talking sopranos to get started today. All right so we are back. Let's get into this episode. This is Season four episode to the title is no show originally aired september twenty second two thousand and two written by david chase and terry winner together directed by john. Patterson no show of course refers to The the way the mob gets job assignments on construction sites in when they you know when they're involved in the thing so a no show job is you don't show up but you get a paycheck. You get the benefits and all that no work means you have to show up between ten and three thirty you do it. You don't got to do with damn thing but this still goes on today. There's a lot of this in existence right. I would imagine it's based on real stuff. Yeah like a lot of the show is You know that's how they do their you know the mob was involved in the union ch- in get as their deal. They get a certain amount of these types of things to work with. So you want you want you want your job to go smoothly. You wanna get a good contract. You want to grease the wheels. You gotta give up these jobs. And i gotta think that these jobs were two thousand and twenty five hundred dollars a week. Their union jobs right and like it's mentioned in the episode. The only work from ten to three thirty. They probably get a lunch break in there. A couple of other breaks Making good money and his benefits. Yeah i need to know. I need one of these jobs. Get a podcast. No-show job. I would like to get paid and you still on the hill talking. Sopranos with your name. Michael and steve. But you don't you don't have to show up exactly. You would like that you would like to do it yourself like to do this all i'm in discussions about that we're talking. I'm talking to some people like to do it. Just michael imperial talking. Sopranos talking soprano. That'll be let's get on here. We have the agent. Deborah is a chick roads house Adriana shaven leg she calls she says I have My cousin came to with those day. Spa certificates She answers the phone interesting enough. This is deborah To the i h and aka And now danielle ally personal shopper. Has she answers his phone. Daffy daffy is at eleven. I don't know if daffy uses around anymore. I think they went chapter. Eleven from mistake. Staffers was like kind of an off. was like fashion clothes store and you'd get designer brands for less burlington like Like that marshall's like century. twenty one. they're around much anymore. But i have to say she. You know she's got a janet hook line and sinker man. Shot her believing. She's a friend doing shit together the hanging out and They got a good well. I think Adriana is you know i've said it before. No malice in her. I think she's innocent. She's kind of an innocent though. She's a she's a gun mole. She's a you know one of these She likes hanging around. Obviously the mob stuff but basically. He's lonely. I think she doesn't have. She says it. In one of the episodes she goes. I don't have any friends. Criminals gotta christopher. He's gotta be out twelve hours a day. Hustle in the deal in hustling hanging getting high getting drunk. And he's not well. He's during the night. Usually he doesn't wake up early in the morning so he talking. You probably gets up twelve. One o'clock you know has has lunch with her and then he's off and he you know he has won two nights a week making a living. He's on told as that. Tony's beck and call. It's not easy being. Listen i gotta be honest. It's been said of a mob guy. You're better off getting a nine to five gig man while the pressure the the threat the fear you know that's not easy. So the soprano kitchen camilla's making lunch. Meadow comes down at two pm. She just woke up going out by the pool. Camilla's says you were going to be get up at eight thirty to be at tc b. y. yoga that used to be around. I don't know if they were around anymore When the meadows on vacation yeah. She's like all she likes. She's at a resort. she's ordering food. She's at the pool. She's she doesn't she's not getting up at eight thirty two for five days left. School is camello even on arash about it. I mean to ship has sailed. She was supposed to have an internship at the paper mill playhouse. They border a car so she could go out there. She didn't like the internship she said She was copies making copies. Add no stagecraft. Paper mill is like probably the top regional theater in new jersey. It's also been called the state theatre of new jersey. They do a lot of big productions. Sometimes productions that go onto broadway and stuff like that but a lot of kids who are entitled to grow up like like she with everything kind of handed to you. Get them an internship and they resent having to like make copies or may get coffee or something like that. they think they should be I don't know i've seen that happen. She's also she's a spoiled disconnect. She's arguing with her mother. She keeps taking phone calls gossiping with the friends. She's condescending here to her mom. About the book she reads etcetera etcetera she's She says she blames everything on her ex boyfriend. Dying which don't get me wrong is extremely traumatic for a nineteen year old absolutely positively but she says I took twelve credits two semesters in a row. You know you supposed to take sixteen credits. That's a full load. Twelve is minimum of to be a fulltime student. So it's not that big a deal. What she's doing you know as far as that. Although columbia's varied has what she brings up the canon the canon colombia's a bunch of like great books of the world. That everybody who goes as required to read. There's a certain amount you have to read is like homer you know the bible east coast sophocles. Plato virgil shakespeare savant initiate. Any anymore you went to an ivy league school. That was your choice. That's yeah that's what you you have to dig in and do the work so when you do graduate you know usually ivy league is the first in line to be hired. Oh this girl went to sherline. Mba harvard princeton. And that's what that's all about. Medal was nasty condescending. Spoiled with a mother Something that i noticed. There's mayonnaise on the counter. She's making tuna sandwiches italian tuna. I think it's tonal. Which is italian tuna and a big jar. Helman's mayo somebody gotta think for mayonnaise on this show. 'cause it's tuna with mayonnaise is very common. No the standard put. We saw it in the pie. Barons mayonnaise mayonnaise. We've seen it numerous times. I don't know. I think you might be the only one who's who's who's interested in. There's other people knows about the mayonnaise. Sink the people out there. If you know about the main acing please write in and tell me they noticed about Carmella wanted to register for the clashes. she said well mike. My grades were going down because my ex boyfriend i. She said they were going down. When you were with jackie the bell rings here comes another little shit ass girl. Smoking cigarettes comes into the misty cigarette in hand misty. She said there's a guy with a ponytail in the driveway. What is his story. Carmella starts to primp and look at herself in the mirror and fix her hair. Obviously that tells us she's she has some interest in furio she makes furio. Coffee tells us he's buying a house she says. Oh so you're gonna stay then. The percolate erica. She if he's going to be a citizen he's like he has no he's like no. You don't need that. He's not worried about being a citizen. You know. the thing about meadow is yes of like you said a friend died. It's a horrible thing. Part of it's that part of its that she. I think doesn't want to do the work and is kind of checking out. Not sure she wants to you know. Have this kind of work load. Oh you know. And some of its being entitled and spoiled. There's a combination of those things. Go but i doubt very much that and the same thing. Aj has the same thing. These kids grew up spoiled. Rotten and i gotta tell ya. Camello is camilla's a little too much man. She's a little. She needs to back off a little bit. It might work in her favor when we really see it in this episode. Yeah she's a little dare little to a. What do they call the helicopter. Parenting kind of you know. I wrote a book about raising daughters. Teach little something daddy's rules it's very. I think i could teach. She's not handling this. She's not handling this correctly in my opinion We're at the vio in the back room. I remember shooting. This you know was always a lot of fun when we were all together Deep into the night and everyone and everyone was in this scene. It's albert burri. She's burton They're talking about the harry potter books. I don't have some. I have no idea what harry potter's about he's a. He's a magician. Not sorcerer a wizard boy wizard yes. I have no idea. There's so many like concha junior. Says i could fill a book. What i don't know i have no fucking idea of so many things. It's amazing He tells a joke about Ralphie tells a joke about ginny. Sag getting a ninety five pound mole. Take off or s. Two guys laugh. They laugh taught they laugh are not the first time they've made jokes about ginny sack But yeah they do they laugh hard. Tony gets up and leaves and he does this couple of times coming up is it. Because he doesn't want to be around. He's protecting himself from them talking about business. They're starting to do that. He started doing christopher with the blood. And he doesn't want we'll see later on sempersolaris come He says he doesn't want to get involved but he does get involved. Who was involved. But he leaves like in the streets later on when he's with zalman and when they when it comes to business. He's there for the small talk and the chatter and the jokes business he leaves. He doesn't want to go to jail. Hayes had a scare in You know he's had a scale that union and stuff and Yeah he's Trying to distance himself from problems like in goodfellow goodfellas. What was it Paul savino character was that paulie he would no. You don't the phone and he wouldn't do this do that. And he managed to stay out of jail for a long time until henry hills ditched on them right You notice. Little paulie has A kind of a slight subtle wing is you noticed i did. I did not. That wouldn't even register on the wing of meter. I don't think. I don't think it would pick it up but i don't think that's Was put It's a real no. It was put. There always put that. I was deliberate. Yeah that was the in the gutierrez family. It's little paulie he gets a little wing. Wow isn't that something. But i don't think because i tried the wingham meter and it didn't move the needle didn't move the needle at all. I understand that completely ralph They sit down. Silvio the having a sit down saying chrissy now is the capital of the crew as poorly is in the can Patsy does not like this. We come to find out. Oh yeah He's the acting capo. Silvio ralphie's not happy silvio's not happy. Patsy kinda hits a little paulie tells them to shut up. He winds up getting five jobs. Chrissy gets one which is again one. And there's three no work jobs at gets to do it every once with and turn what he would do what it says. Whatever he wants he'll pay a favor off. Somehow he'll get half of that money blah blah blah. He'll works that's gonna be kicked up to him absolutely. Yeah sure he's not just giving them out like christmas gifts. No especially paulie We're in the parking lot. Chris of sylvia walk into the cost. Sylvia it's a big responsibility. Crispy crunchy makes a joke. I say i'm gonna do is Get wings in my hair. Silvio does not like the joke or doesn't get the joke or is so annoyed that he's the acting couple now he I think it's that. I think he's annoyed something. Yeah but i mean. I don't think chris Christopher's are in this job. Personally he's gotten it. Because she's tony's nephew the blood stay close etcetera etcetera etcetera. I don that he resents silvio resents. Christopher's earned this. He's young not the brightest bulb now he probably has a. I don't think he's earned it based on what he's done. Obviously we know why. Tony's doing it because he wants to rely more on. You know blood like you said. And that's that's partly christopher so he's ruffling feathers and tony doesn't really give a shit that ruffling feathers he does not Were at the crazy horse. Adriana deborah sitting at the bar having a heart to heart talk drinking apple martinis. It looks like She tells her that she adriana really opens up. No one knows this in the world not a mother. Christopher that she had an abortion years ago had some complications. She really opens up she. She's very vulnerable in front of her and that she's not going to a good chance you won't be able to have kids. They kind of bond there. Or she thinks she's bonding and in walks. Christopher and little paulie I think christopher thinking maybe he's gonna hook little paulie up with her. Somehow officing christopher says something wrong with that broad adriana something wrong with you And then he gives her a diamond bracelet. Harry wins from harry winston. Which is where. Tony got the jewelry for For carmelo christopher kind of is is kind of playing with mimicking. Tony little bit one with the harry winston later on. We'll see this certain phrases that he he parents repeats at a tony although he's resents tony at the same time for certain things but yeah harry winston is where tony got this stuff for carmelo. He says it's a beautiful piece of jewelry. Yes he says there's more. Carrots has got more than bugs bunny Personally i think bugs. Bunny is the most famous cartoon character in the world. What you he was my favourite grown-up. I think one another. I'll tell you i've mentioned some actors that i admire like al pacino and john. One of the reasons i became an actor i think was bugs. Bunny folks bunny. I think so. I think that's smart alecky. He always he's always got a quick bug. She's got a quick you know he's a smart aleck and yeah and he'd make the he'd make the people who were trying to get over on him. Look like idiots. He's he's like Ease it's he's from brooklyn. I like that that he had a new york Edge to him. I always really admired bugs. Bunny i'll tell you the truth. He was real beacon of sanity ecorse dresser very early on. He would dress as a while. That was part of his disguise himself as a woman sometimes. Yeah the could chiquita banana miranda. He he could dress up as anything though he was kind of a shape shifter yeah he's very talented and who is not as an actor. He had a lot of range got a lot. I think he was actually based on a real Carrot a real person or something. I don't think it was. I think it was based on a person not a rabbit We gotta look that up. Mickey mouse a famous cartoon character. I was not interested in making homer simpson very famous home. Ships homer simpson's very fun. He's in the top in a lot of people's Top twenty Charlie brown bought. Do you know where the name comes from homeless. No it's from day of the locusts th-annual west book which was turned into a movie starring. Donald sutherland much better as a book than a movie but the movie. The movie's about old hollywood at his homer simpson Homer simpson It's a very disturbing movie and especially the end now. We're seeing interesting really good though you're a big simpsons fan. Aren't you arthur. Simpson's yeah daffy duck who is my one of my favorite the top two or three of my favorite cartoon characters daffy duck. I'm a big fan. I also am a fan of foghorn leghorn i think they were all the same voice mel blanc. He did all my own very pop. That was a honeymooners. Rip off the flintstones. We know well. He was a honeymooners. Rip-off in king of queens is it that Version of The honey will never seen the king of queens. I wouldn't very funny show extremely funny Extremely and that's a that's a version. I believe also of that For influential yogi bear. Popeye to grinch. Papa i love. Spongebob yogi bear. No spongebob people that smoke weeds. They watch spongebob. I'll take show really stone thing. I think those in adult swim cartoons on adult swim is a smoke weed. You know that kinda shit. I didn't know that You really had no idea about that. No why would. I know that she tells her she says that daniel brings up that. Oh boy from staten island used to carry a gun and adriana. You know volunteers so this. Christopher he deals with cash she says stock cash business. You know what's funny is christopher says too. I had a great conversation with silvio today which is not true that all become sation thin you issue recommend the obgyn in the city Listen it's all a lot of the mob stuff. It's all about You know your appearance your stick. He wants to impress. Got the promotion silvio. And he's in he's running with the big is now you know He's very exciting to him. Janice his house row for janice or watch a faces of death. Tony now faces of death do you. That's that's a movie from nineteen seventy eight. It's a mixture of staged violence and some real violent some real debts. Yeah is that famous scene. Where they they have the monkey in the middle of the table and they opened his head and eat the brains. I think that's fake but based on something disgusting in real apparently but This thing is i watch. No there's of a an actual dead victim of i think bicycle accident and stuff ralphie's really into it. Remember we brought this up several times. You know have you ever taste rains. Have you eat monkey brain now. That's all that shit disgusting to me. This old let's drought fees loot him as the devil saint. So maybe that's why he's watching this shit and i think janice janez into it. I think he's got a big thing of popcorn there under the blanket. Together they're watching this Tony knocks the dog. Ralphie runs upstairs. She says i was around the corner. Tony around the corner. Bokola how is he. he's fat. That's a little insulting. Which i don't have the fat suit on now but when i had the hiding care i this is a little insulting. Did you write that line by any chance. I didn't write this episode. I know but other right is throw shit in. I thought maybe you did. Wow you're paranoid man Smoking weed today. I used to quit. That why i don't smoke. We've never been a week guy. Never none of that stuff Janice scrambling right She tells him which is funny. He found a fines ralphie shoe we knows. Immediately she says. Why don't you stay out of people's living room. I mean you just don't pop in you know Janice he says what happened with toby. Tommy mottola. she said they decided to go with a small record. Label antonio's oh yes sure. That was a deliberate decision rather than go the big route. He kind of knew that something was brewing. Her and johnson ralph after the meal. They had at the house and they disappeared together. He saw sitting on a on his lap during the repast after the funeral of junior seau also at the crazy goes forgot to mention Christopher gets high and she says. I know you said you weren't going to what you got the job. He said this'll be my last time. You know christopher slowly. We're seeing him. Become the junky. Yeah it's gonna. It's becoming an issue. That's for sure Prison little poorly goes visits. Pig poli Little paulie doesn't seem to me. He's not the brightest bulb police complaining that nobody wants to see his mother. Y you know Why do you think wants to see. His mother looked out from his just out of sight out of mind. What is it going jail. How long have you been. It's been a few weeks now while he should've said somebody first of all a little poorly should've went. You know he should have sent Maybe christopher should've went. I don't really expect tony. The boss to go. But i think it's outta sight outta mind. They just kind of up early. It's every man for themselves we bullshitting you know they. They don't give a fuck you you're gone. You're gone the end of the day. Yeah that's really what it comes down to. it's about money and every man for himself Chris see since tony center. Some chocolates chrissy said. Tony made a killing in real estate down a freezing high Freeling heiser avenue route told the funding jokey happy. He's just a fucking motormouth. Paulie he's mouth paul. He's upset at this stuff. Although paulie made jokes about ginny sack himself he says gina needs our own. Zip code if you grab on your hands disappear. When she goes camping in bear side that food he thought it was hysterical now. He doesn't find the joke funding very much. A hypocrite. he snaps paulie the riverfront esplanade construction site. The other city by the bay is on the sign. This is a big deal for the for the soprano family building. The esplanade on the riverfront. This is three hundred million a close to job And they're gonna make a lot of money off they got. They got different contracts different unions. They'll probably you know so. This is a big big big deal for the frisco for pulls up He's breaking balls. If i was a carpenter. And you're a douche pick a says You know it's You know this no-show. Shit is tough deciding what not to wear to work not to put in my lunchbox patsy actually complaining. You should try. See any from ten thirty three so four four and a half hours in there eating napping feeders placing bets Whatever they're doing bullshit in hanging around trying to kill the time really not much more than they do in the social club or the back of the bank. They basically do the same shit same thing. Yeah right a lot of gossip lotta gossipers they also could these guys you know how to solve all the world's problems if he asked to ever listened to these guys they know everything You know you put it so. He takes a look. Christopher looked what is that high speed internet access as he's been cables peaks pools fiber optic cable. Yeah which veto lot of money in this shit. Chris always gets an envelope and patsy. Says you put the spores in there. That's referring to anthrax which had the anthrax thing then it so happened with tony with the anthrax anthrax was sent to Some of the news. People at nbc. Thirty rockefeller center and tony. Rico was paranoid that he'd be next. Is i guess the terrorists if they really want to bring down american society you get the news the media. Then you get paulie walnuts but tony rico. So he had his buddy in. Oh come over the house and they took the mail from the mailbox with rubber gloves. And then put it in the microwave for thirty seconds which i guess assuming that it would neutralize the anthrax. I don't know how he figured that. Spoke to a physicist or chemist or something to figure that out but would actually happen. Is the mail went on fire and burned up bird. The microwave also and this is a thousand percent. True story told you this. This is a true story. he was worried about the. It was really scared that he was going to be anthrax. Somebody mailed him anthrax go right. They had brian williams at nbc. While who's next logically. I think tom brokaw. he's on. My fees office occurred never got anthrax so he might've been onto something he didn't get him. They can survive the anthrax Mofaz office tony. The kid was supposed to get some job this summer internship and she was going to be a hostess already book as restaurant then The babysitting family dissipated in turkey. I like when he goes and then and then and what does work basically. That's the that's the she wanted to hang up but you've done. I mean we've done this. His parents right. You know you you feel like you got into and you're trying to get a job and they don't really want to do it the kids and you put yourself out and then you know. Yeah but you want to do it. In the way the world is now. I'm talking pre pandemic fuck. The world is now but the way it was nowadays. Kids would take the summer off. Like when i was in college. I mean i'm an old man but you know. I would work at basketball camps. I work at the parks department. Like kinda fun. Some jobs the money was it. That important i worked up cookies and the nba players camp. And you know that kinda shit now. These kids need internships or they can't get a job graduate. It's so competitive. So scarce at both of my daughters. I mean my daughter worked at j. p. morgan worked at another place. Another place by young daughter. Works at your becca grill as a hostess. I mean we always said you gotta do something but you you kind of try to do something in your field that way you're headed and it's kind of a necessity nowadays. You can't just take that summer off you know. She don't give a shit because she knows she's got the backing of a mom and dad. That's the problem backing of a mom and dad and she's just going to sail through and she's c. melfi talks about security versus freedom but one positive thing is that she wants to be close to home you know and she says he's depressed when ask her to clean she's really says she is depressed with tony says so. She's using this as a car. You know she's playing this grief card. She says a kids she's regressing. He says well sushi is going to be back in the womb She complains about colombia. That it's competitive. Talks about jackie drug deal i i. Can't i have a feeling and maybe it's just me I think people kind of know that even melfi even later on we're going to see carmella. They kind of know that. Tony has something to do with. This could've prevented this jackie junior. I don't know if everyone's buying this drug dealers story. I think you're right. I think a lot of people and it's it's come up. It came up in the last episode at the funeral on stuff that just by him associating with other members of the family. It's put him in jeopardy. It's not so much him that he was this rogue player that he was involved in the in the soprano family in the soprano crime family and it's caused his death. I think you're one hundred percent right. She brings up medication. He doesn't wanna hear this. It's like come on. That's everything gotta be you know about this about you know concede you. Maybe she'll just pass and get over it. She thinks you should be therapy. She should be on meds. Tony doesn't want to hear. No i mean. They're very quick to prescribe she. Entity fucking meet the girl and melfi moncia. Put her medication. What are you. What are you talking about Tony says she'll be right when she goes back to school She said camilla gets the brunt of it I get a little of it. But she loves me. I know that and he smiles what he's thinking she's his little girl. Were and that we've seen that play out. You know in the last episode. She winds up taking tony side when it It's jackie junior sister. She kind of you not be becomes kind of the loyal daughter. I mean you know my why has that my wife and my daughters like even on a saturday. She would never let them sleep all day. She would go in their room. Pull up the blanket. You know and say let's go whatever time nine ten o'clock let's go none of that sleeping all day. A lot of these a lot of the college kids you know. They're out all night and then they sleep all day. You know there's a lot of especially yes if they're in the dorm whatever they want and they come home. They think they're going to continue that now. With the computers They are the computer all night playing xbox or whatever the fuck they play all of that stuff you know You know Meadows room medals in bed. Camilla comes in. She says i decided to take a year for going to europe misty at the girl that came in the house smoking. I don't like her ready. come on what are you talking about. She's flabbergasted camilla. where did this come from. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to pick a major And obviously she pulls this caught you. Obviously you don't want me around. He sees manipulating. Nobody said that. That's not what i said at all Think i don't want you here. Camello takes it to heart now. She's kind of You know you know. Maybe i you know. I think she's thinking well. Maybe i've been on arrest too much. Maybe i should back off. I think she stated that yeah well. Net metro's pushing that theory too. She's making her feel guilty. She's making a feel like she wanted to hear you know depressed. She's she's a manipulator. He knows how to push their buttons knows how to make them feel guilty. You know she wants to take a gap year. Is you're if i'm not mistaken europe. When the kids graduated high school they take your year off a lot of them travel. They take a year off to themselves before they start college. I believe that's kind of customer. I could be wrong. But that's what i understand. They a lot of travel wherever they go they come to the states would ever pop up. already tens baugh tony sitting at the ball already Is complaining about what am i. Bill gates complaining about show main and money. Tony you're supposed to me. You're the bartender. He's supposed to be listening to my problems. That's like Do you remember where you go into a remember that baltasar about czar in pestis on we all hung out there. They had a bartender there. He was kind of frustrated actor. I forget his name and all he was bitter and angry and it was like we stopped going. I want this guy fucking work. That couldn't go day to depress plan complain complain and sa- say all right supposed to tell you my problems to both had no lie. I don't remember that guy and was an older guy and you know he had done some stuff and then you know todd and he was ten the ball which probably makes five hundred or night as a bartender. Yeah he worked in those places. Those are busy places. Christopher comes in chris as late as usual. Sorry i'm late. t tony complains. He got a call from Christopher's like it's the mad in the port of. I mean these the another thing. We didn't bring up you know. They're sitting around the construction site. Patsy says pick up those ice cream. It's almost like they're kids. They're you know fucking around throwing him eighties in the a potty eating ice cream you know it's like it's it's like romper room over there He asked if he knew. It was gonna be boosted. The fiber optic shit chrissy does a hamilton. Yeah no maybe You know. Chris doesn't admit to it but doesn't really play on both sides there. Well i did know. But i didn't know chrissy gave the okay to do it. He nodded to patsy. It was his idea to take the shit Tony is words. You use it. Use your head. Think of the big picture. Big picture these these appraises at christopher wine abusing later. Date these Tony's going to get money off this right. He'll get kicked up anyway but It's not the brightest move. And i guess they just feel like they could milk anything. I mean it's it's christopher our day in short it's always that or you got insurance. They got insurance The basketball court very funny scene ralphie and veto playing basketball ralphie's skills as industrial terrible terrible. He's terrible terrible. You'd want you'd mop the floor with him problem well when i could play. Now i'm still play. I guess but no But you know but he made it he made a couple of baskets. I mean you know but he could tell you know he's very good. He's a lefty he. I don't think. Joey plays basketball Veto who joe gannon scarlett. I believe was really Find athlete in his day seriously. I think that to joe was a good softball player. Joe and his day Was a good athlete. It's very funny scene. He's saying she's not using my type janisch she's got an earthy quality up give you like say it's so's big tits ralphie of course says issue of a family making her happy one be the worst thing in the world for my career. Vino says pre raphaelite which he really means rubenesque raphaelite. Two totally different concept gets tired. It's a very funny scene and they're wearing shoes. There's no sneakers a wearing dress shoes. I didn't notice that see. You notice that 'cause you're a basketball glad you're looking to see what kind of footwear. They wear dress shoes. Soprano kitchen cabela's on the laptop looking at financial stuff. I nancy planning. She's still thinking about that stuff Where's the number of the therapist that melfi gave you She's going to go to europe. Your daughter she's dropping out of school. What the folks in europe experience real life art. Some friend of mris is making a movie in denmark. She's going to go back to school. No fuck going. She's going to europe. Tony says all this hopping on ought. I knew it was gonna be a problem. They're just trying to figure out where you know who to blame why this happened. You know the He's talking about therapists. She's got her passport. here's the telling her passport from christmas christmas vacation in the bahamas you know so. She was in the bahamas for christmas. And then she's talking about being down the shore now so she's like you know she's living it up this kid. She lives a nice little. Lives a nice life you know. That's probably. She's been on a big nation. Tony's against a seeing a therapist. He says when she goes back to school she could see ivy league counselors counselors right. He feels like this is all. That melfi is overreacting. Camilla's overreact been come is shore and tony thinks. She needs to get her aspect to work in school and focus on her studies. And forget all this in all the trips. Europe and stuff like that christopher's apartment There watching everybody loves raymond. Didn't they do. What was the scene in another episode. Adriaan is watching raymond on tv. Yeah i figured out what's wrong with That perrodin it's paid shit. I'm gonna get hi. This is where he says. I thought she says i told you. We're going to stop using jumper for your job. He says i am. This is my goodbye party but heroin alexis definitely not the case. What is this girl. Why can't have friends and now this is where he repeats. All your intelligence you can. You can't see the big picture wage. Gemeda she's i met her at the mall so what she's a dyke adriana never crossed a mind. You think she doesn't have a boyfriend. Christopher says she's got a nice ass complains about tony what he never heard of a learning curve. Is there a learning curve. The mob i guess. I don't think make mistakes in the beginning overzealous. I don't think you know everybody complains about everybody in the sopranos. Every everybody's unhappy in you know it is feels like there have been slighted and that they deserve more and they're not they're not being respected. They're not appreciated enough that that theme runs through this show constantly is tony gives him a job. He makes him a made guy. He's making him captain. He's putting a telling him he's gonna be relying on him and he complains about you know. Christopher still find stuff to complain about right here he tells adriana the think the big picture in a says she yeah. She's she's a lesbian. Adriana says alike danielle. No good deed goes unpunished. Notre truer words have been spoken in the history of the english language. You hear me no goes punish. I'm telling you how many ties of you got bird helping someone i know. Zach going to be a part of the post. The post funeral video is that going to be a section. Listen i want on the tombstone. It was all bullshit if i had room. It would say no good deed goes unpunished. That'd be people have help get jobs in my life and did nice things for and it came back to bite me in the ass and i'm dead serious now. I know that what you're no true. Awards is spoken. I guess that's going here. He says use your head He says are you blind. And then it's funny because in the next scene christopher's like wearing dark glasses acting like a big shot. Is that why. It's probably 'cause i e seems a little bit high in that that's not too bad a little bit. Christopher he's enjoying being the broth that's for sure. Use your head. Which is tony's line. He's mimicking tony and he's trying to blame patsy but christopher new quite well what was going on and what he agreed to when they did when patsy says when the kid there reno told you how expensive to ship was. You gave me a look so now. You're fucking mind reader chris. Eight don't wanna take no responsibility to wanders. He's a he's waffling. he's blaming he's trying to throw a patsy under the bus in the soundtrack in the background. Who fought pizzeria. Santana jingo by la jingo la which is a great tune. I like santana santana fan. I absolutely do. You know. Vegas carlos vegas but i don't know we We weren't couple of years ago muslim. My son dave is a big santana fan and he was playing in. La we got tickets and we went to see him before the show backstage. He was great. We took some pictures. It was dave's birthday was really cool. He was a really nice guy. He opened for. Journey was a double bill but santana was first antenna was incredible. His wife plays the drums in the band. His wife is phenomenal drummer. And the music is just tremendous. The band is great. It's he's a really good show journey. I couldn't i couldn't sit through journey. It was a guy who steve. Perry doesn't play journey anymore. They got a guy who was in. I think he was in journey tribute band in the philippines or something like that movie rockstar. Ever see that movie hallberg. It's a good movie. Well it's i guess it's yeah it was that they find a guy from well. That's what it is. I mean he. Sounds like steve perry. That's the weird thing so it's almost like watching a tribute band. Although the i guess. It's neil sean who you'll start actually used to play in santana. The guitar player from journey. Who's been the guitar player. Whole time actually started in santana when he was like v sixteen or something And he's tremendous guitar player but it was just weird not seeing. You know it's like going to see the stones in there. Some guy who sounds like mick jagger singing the song. it's very hard to digest. Sure perry steve perry's very distinctive singer you know he's a great singer and it was hard for me and you know. Sometimes you know you see santana. That's enough to see another band. After that is hard you know you see somebody who so great so. It was hard it was. I hate saying that but it was hard to watch the guys. Great very talented it's Credence clearwater went out as another name and without john fogerty correct. John fogerty sound like yeah I wanna say they called it. A creedence clearwater revisited. But it was all the the other guys. It was three other guys Of the original cosmo the drummer. He was a prick. He was very nasty prick smart alecky guy but he was in original and They did business for a while. They business and journey does business. Of course i mean they. They toil the time they sell out. I mean the songs are great It's just a it's just. It was just weird the moving not a great movie but walberg is a tribute fanatical guy and they lose their lead singer and he becomes a rockstar and sort of pretty good jennifer anderson. I liked the movie. But that's exactly what it was tribute artist. Yeah Isn't there billy joel There was a billy joel. Tribute artist could singer nice guy. I met him and now he's in billy joel's band. He's in the band. was he. the singer or was he one of the musicians. He's billy joel. But i think he was. I think he was delete singa. He he was in a village. And i believe so. Yeah joel is a good show. I saw him last. Year are now drew. We got to see billy before. I've met a few times. He's really god is great. The amazing thing about that shows a lot of young people. it's in their twenties. Who knew every frigging word. People stand up the whole show and sing where every single word the show. I don't have the word of the songs. I don't think billy joel has had a a new song. For what thirty years or something. But it's a it's it's a fun show. Oh sounds he sounds. Great has a voice on I was there one night. Tony bennett came out and say new york state of mind and then guide the guy from acdc. I don't know his name. He came out and petar player. Qatar play with the hat on the guy who is angus young angus young. Yeah yeah it's a it's a it's a it's a good show. And it's a good new york nights for some reason because he's very icon of new york for that was at the garden great. Great show Soprano kitchen table camello. Tony and meadow sit at the table. tony says you think really going to europe is Smart move these days. Like europe's any less safe than here She says i keep having images of jackie lying in a pool of his own blood on some street. Somewhere so what. French discos drive away. All said thoughts camilla's he wanted to go to europe. Maybe of college of hard knocks is what she needs. Let's see how she likes when gypsy live so wallet. Yeah that's a the college of hard knocks is an old times parents. Feel let you know you fend for yourself. you know. it's not going to be so easy. And part of his right you know. Maybe he's saying you know. Go to europe deal with deal with it. She brings up The do gonna do a feature. Somebody's friends with Dogma dogma was a filmmaking movement started by lars von trier. He was one of the people who started. And it's kind of this purist film making thing where you have to shoot on location. You could only use the props that are actually on that location. You can't everything has to be hand. Held they be genre films. The director doesn't take credit. You have to use whatever lights available or would be available. You can't bring in a kind of this purist heavy movies at a manifesto. I mean i'm not. i'm not much should you. You probably wouldn't. You probably wouldn't but that's danish say that lars venture is a danish. That's what she's referring to although she says. Dv dog may was pretty much thirty. Five mil v cam. She says Tony says gordon your room with the bulls. Whatever the fuck they do over there. Good luck trying to get a permit. The french hold onto the permits. Like they're holding their balls. And did you notice that weird sound effect. When tony's anger is brewing. It's very interesting while he's listening to her. Sound effect is noise. It's almost like an internal dialogue of his anger coming up. It's very interesting if you did really nice little touch down to say soprano bedroom closet camilla. Tony argue The more we fight the more. She's gonna wanna go sinead other boys over there. She says you wanted to be with a european while looking furio. He's not so bad. What what would it be mary. A what marry what does she. What are you talking about. She's nineteen years old. She's very she's this way. Shit getting way ahead of herself isn't she why. What are you doing she's not gonna take this dress extent without talking to someone. I pushing for meadow to go. See this wendy. And it's not just because the jackie june is because she's you know she's leaving she wants to carmella has is all in with columbia to there's a. There's a status thing Enjoys with that. She's a little bit worried about that. Too on top of she loves that her daughter lives in new york city and goes to columbia. She bolted them. Where that on this leave absolutely Wendy cobblers office play. Lead to live in is terrific. She's been at so many good things she's just. She's the star of alice which was a spin off of scorsese's. Alice doesn't live anymore. She was on that for for For several years she's a tony winner from other play broadway bound. Ob winner for death defying acts. Which was a woody allen plays. She's She she's she's really good. She's great in this She so take manhattan. I've been i was in a muppet over. I've worked with them up. Which one were you in. I was in Muppets christmas christmas. Were they nice to onset where they welcoming when they kind down the great. Are they nice very much. So you know. After a little while. And i'm not joking. You just look them in the i like. You're an actor you you're honestly forget. That they're puppets you have their the puppeteers on the neath you. You don't see them. And it's it with tony. Surreal two different things. I did a sesame street. One with him. And i it was good. With the puppets tone. We had a lot of fun. We did it at the strip house restaurant. the street and We're gonna read booth in The rat was the rat and the Some other character and A lot of fun really maybe twelve th street or eleven. Yeah it may be tony Lot of that sounds fun. But you really start to believe that to believe. I'm not joking you look in them in the eye. They're making their movements. I mean it's it's incredible and You know after a while you just acting what the puppet let me tell you some of those puppets are better than some real people actors. I've worked with. I bet i bet i don't. I don't wanna mention any name. Don't don't mention. I don't want to mention any names usually. I'm outspoken but i'll knocking to mention names She says that when. I asked you about your dad. Did for a living. You said waste manager it week. Wink wink wink. Mean you mentioned jackie's father was in the mafia and then realize your dad was too. There's no such thing. As the mafia metal says i said jackie's dad was alone. Chuck yeah interesting. That she says she doesn't. She's being protective the protective i. She gives the universal symbol for wiseguy. The old broken no roeken notes. Yeah and then. She brings up the funeral. Everybody was drinking and blubbering the saccharine ballads. Being played which we spoke about at the end of the that sentimentality. That david was you know that she feels like it's all bullshit at all you know. They're getting all sentimental with this song and they're awful all back biting you know foolish it in the apocrypha in it made her you know really upset and then the therapist. What do you think of hers therapist. Be right off the bat she wanted to go on. I think the president's. It's not gonna cost you anything you don't have to pay for that's odd. It's odd that she came out of nowhere. Does your no mention of molestation was mentioned. That all that she would say dad molest. You does your mom molest you. I mean where is this coming from right. And she sides with meadow. Your penetrated examined their own needs. Blow off their Give you antidepressants. The tide you over in. It's kind of like an hp kind of enabling these whatever behaviors undermines. Exactly what tonia. Camella wanted You know The parents should work on our self esteem. sex. She's trying to gain points with meadow. Could get you into the university of boss celona. That's hot school. I'm on the board. I mean i'm very surprised at melfi would recommend her. Maybe she you know maybe she worked for some other people in the past. who knows. maybe she doesn't know where he is very Did a very good at her job. And i'm very surprised that she would Be she seems like an old hippie. 'cause she when she says i smoked weed. Whatever that's okay you know. This is what wendy reminds me of. Very freethinking hippy. Kind of like you kinda like yourself and your day you free. Spirit your therapist. I i don't know how i feel. If you're therapist you would be kindel. Hell you have no idea what i would do is therapist. He really don't think about doing it. You told me but not not necessarily like that. Well what kind of therapist would you be a good one. I understand very stricter. Just trying to get to the root to the problem. She's just kind of just saying you know. Just do what you feel like doing. She's not doesn't seem like there's anything they're not getting to the root of the problem or getting to her being honest with herself. That's a problem or maybe a kid. That's nineteen doesn't know what she wants and just wants to get the fuck out today but that's the problem. I don't think so. But everyone's kinda dan you know everyone's trying to make it like this. There is please. You're nineteen and you don't know what the fuck you want. Which is kinda actually. And she's had a hard year and she is get lazy. May maybe it's better. She doesn't go to school right. All i wanted to do was get drunk and get late. That's all i. It's a lot of nineteen that's normal a lot of sixty heroes to bought a big backroom silvio's the back. Tony walks in Sylvia i was telling patsy so he said what he goes. An asshole slipped on a lime wedge. He finds that funny. That's what he says. L. livia loved seeing people fall. I guess you know bachelor party out there. It's busy Chrissy got a little napoleon thing going on. What's the problem. Patsy feels bad. Maybe he was passed over so the fact that you care last year you push me to welcome. Think silvio's talking about himself here so silvio's talking about himself christie being being kind of being do he's kinda with christopher thrown his weight around. I gotta say one thing about tony as a boss. He doesn't meddle in the petty things. He let them sort it out themselves right. Yeah i