20 Episode results for "A. L. T"

#A140 (altercate to alternation) ft. David

The Dictionary

12:43 min | 1 year ago

#A140 (altercate to alternation) ft. David

"Hello word nerds. And welcome to another episode of the dictionary today, I have a special surprise for you. It is our first guest reader. His name is David say, Hello, David. Hey there, Spencer, Elza going. I'm good. I'm excited to. Let's see what happens. I love you. We, we were doing a little practicing, and had a couple of stumbles, but I think, I think it'll be good had a couple of stumbles. I have gone down the podcast route. I did one called total brunch face with Emma Mannion, we might get that going someday. But I'm really excited to do this, this word this word challenge for me. I'll make sure to get a link from you. So I can put in my episode. Details of that podcast. Thank you, sir. All right. We're going to get started out here with the word alter Kate, and that we're dispelled. A. L. T. E. R. C A T. It is a verb and this word actually comes from fifteen thirty which reminds me of a whole 'nother, part of the Spencer. Is there a word that or is there a year or years that average for, for the majority of words out there, have you found out yet or I don't think that there's an average? I do see a lot of fourteenth century, which you'll you'll probably see later, it'll just say fourteen c and I actually did look up why that was which I talked about in a previous episode. And basically that was kind of the there was, there was a big language change in English at that time in England. So, yeah, that's, that's kind of where that came comes from. But otherwise, no. It's just a, a smattering of years. Right. And those are the sort of I known occurrence of that word amazing. That's that's awesome. I mean as a word nerd myself, this stuff is all of this stuff is stimulating so sin synonym for alter Kate before I forget Spencer. It is Rangel. W. R. A N, G, L E. And then let's have you actually read the definition of that word the definition of wrangle is Kate O. You oh I thought I said it already my bed Spencer. The definition of alter Kate is to dispute angrily or noisily. So, of course, this word is much like the next word, which is a noun and that is altercation. Altercations definition is a noisy heated angry dispute. I wonder what the differences between a noisy angry dispute and annoys e. Heated dispute. But Nevertheless, I digress. Also, the, the definition extends to noisy controversy. And if you're looking for a synonym on altercation see the word quarrel. Q. U. A. R. R E L, and you can see at the beginning, it does say fourteen sees. So that's an example of a word that comes from the fourteenth century, our next word Spencer is alter ego. This is a noun from fifteen thirty seven and the definition is kind of layered here. The definition is a second self as a trusted friend, or a second self as be the opposite side of a personality or the second self as C counterpart, and so there it says, counterpart threes. So that's the third definition in the word counterpart. And so if someone were to skip ahead, which we won't be doing and you look at that definition that would be this e definition for this alter ego. Perfect, and maybe someday, I'll, I'll earn enough trust to be Spencer's alter ego. We'll see. And Spencer, our next word is one that I haven't used in. I haven't seen this one either. Right. It's all territory all territory. Can you spell that for me? Yes. A. L. T R. I T why it is a noun. It's from sixteen forty two and it means literally otherness, specifically the quality or state of being radically alien to the conscious self or a particular Cultural Organization, so Spencer, it looks like we have three forms of one word coming up and the first form is alternate. And this is an adjective from fifteen thirteen. It's spelled. A. L. T. E. R. N A T, the first definition is occurring or succeeding by. Turns, and an example would be a day of alternate, sunshine and rain. The second definition to a is arranged. I on one side and then on the other at different levels or points along an Axial line. So an example of that could be alternate leaves. There is also a to b definition. This is arranged one above or alongside the other our third definition for alternate is every other every second and an example of that would be he works on alternate days. So the fourth definition for alternate in its first form out of three forms is constituting. And alternative. So what you could say as took the alternate route home. Our fifth definition is alternative three. So this would be the third form of alternative the third definition of alternative. And by the way, alternate Lee is the adverb our second form of the word is pronounced alternate, same spelling. A. L. T E, R, and a t this word came about in fifteen ninety nine so that is very interesting. It is a verb, and it took quite a while between the first form and the second form. Remember the first form was visiting thirteen where at fifteen ninety nine now one to perform by turns or in succession, the second definition is to cause to alternate. And this is. Is the transitive form to change from one to another repeatedly? So you can say rain, alternated and past tense rain, alternated with sun aren't third form of the word is alternate, and many of us have heard that, that's actually a noun from seventeen seventeen the first definition is actually it's a synonym for alternative and the second definition is one that substitutes for or alternates with another. We're going to go on here to our next definition. Our word is actually two words alternate angle. And alternate angle is a noun from sixteen ten it means one of a pair of angles with different verticals and on opposite sides of a transversal at its intersection with two other lines. While I just got a math headaches. I know I get that a lot too between math and science definitions. It's like I don't know what I just read. The also have an they have to more definitions, actually categorized, as one a and one b so one is one of a pair of angles inside the two intersected lines called also alternate interior angle, and then be one of a pair of angles outside the two intersected lines called also alternate exterior angle, so with alternate angle, there is a visual representation of it in the dictionary. It's very interesting Spencer. Yeah, they do this every once in a while, maybe once every page or to, there's not a lot of them in this case, because we already read the definition. We won't describe it to you, but I will I'll see if I can find an image online, which I'm sure I can and put a link in the episode. No details. Excellent Spencer, our next our next word is alternating current alternating current. It's actually two words. It's a noun from eighteen thirty three. The definition is an electric current that reverses its direction at regularly recurring, intervals, you can go ahead and abbreviate this one, too, because obviously, according to the dictionary, it is popular as an abbreviation, a C our next word. You know, I hate saying word because I'm seeing the Spencer and like I'm having these moments, there's two words I just say next is altered in group, okay? And we'll see Spencer decides to cut that or leave that in the we, we will find out. Next is alternating group, a noun from nineteen o one spelled A LT, are an AT and g and group. G R, O UP, a permutation group, whose elements comprise, those permutations of n objects, which can be formed from the original order by making an even number of interchanges of pairs of objects. Interesting spencer. They don't have periods after these definitions, the probably saving Inc. I don't know. Great good. Guess next is alternating series. This is a noun from eighteen seventeen a mathematical series in which consecutive terms are alternatively, positive and negative. So you could house Spencer, an alternating series of moods throughout the day. I always do I'm really hurting out here. But unfortunately, we're down to the last word for the day, which is. Alternation. A. L. T. R. A. T. I. O N. This is from the fifteenth century, and it's a noun. The first definition is broken up in two parts one as the act or process of alternating or causing to alternate Spencer, one, b is alternating occurrence and a synonym here is succession, the second. Definition is. It's basically a synonym of inclusive, disjunction and the third definition of alternation is the occurrence of different Allah, morphs, or Allophones. What do you do when you come up toward Spencer, in a definition that you've never heard? Well, I sit there for a second and stare at it and try and figure out what it is. Unfortunately, when they're in the middle of definition, they don't have the pronunciation guide, so I have to just sort of figured out. And guess, but if anyone who has listened to previous episodes will know that I mispronounce things often, but I think you had those too correct? In fact, those words have come up before and we went through their definitions. So I they have to do with speech and how different letters in words, and how they react or how they connect to the way, that your mouth says them or. Right. Right. And morphine phone on the end. Right. Right. So spencer. Thank you so much for having me involved, I hope to do this again. I hope you do as well. I hope you liked it. I hope the fans all three of you fans liked what David had to say. And until next time this is Spencer and David reading the dictionary, thank you. And goodbye.

Spencer Kate O. David U. A. R. R E L Emma Mannion A. L. T E A. L. T England Rangel morphine A. L. T. E. R. C AT Elza Cultural Organization A. L. T. E. R. Lee Allophones saving Inc A. L. T. R. A. T.
#A139 (ALS to alteration)

The Dictionary

07:57 min | 1 year ago

#A139 (ALS to alteration)

"Hello word nerds. Welcome to another episode of the dictionary. I have to head out soon. So this might be a little on the quick side. First word is a L S all caps. This is an abbreviation for one amu- trophy lateral sclerosis to autographed letter. Signed next is Al sation capital. A. L. S. A. T. I A N. This is a noun from nineteen seventeen. We have these synonym German shepherd, so I guess an Alsatian dog is a German shepherd next. We have also like clover. A L S. I K E it looks like L psych can also be pronounced L sack. This is a noun from eighteen thirty five a European perennial. Clover, much used as a forage plant. These scientific name is trifle Liam. Hi, bright him or hybrid them next. We have the word also a L S. Oh, this is an adverb from before the twelfth century one. We have these synonym likewise, one two in addition synonyms are besides and two t o now, we have also ran, there's a hyphen in the middle, this is a noun from eighteen ninety six one, a horse, or dog that finishes out of the money a race to a contestant that does not win. Three one that is of little importance, especially competitively. As in was just an also ran in the scramble for privileges. That is from C a bus next. We have Al. Stra. Marya. A. L. S. T. R. O. E. M. E. R. I A. This is a noun. From eighteen thirty three any of a genus of tropical South American herbs. In the lily family that are often cultivated for their clusters of showy variegated flowers, the genus name is also Marya, and this is from Klaus von Australia who died in seventeen ninety four and he was a Swedish botanist next. We have all a LT all lower case. This is an abbreviation for one alternate to altitude three Alto. There are people walking above me. So you might hear some of those sounds next. We have Alta capital. A L, T A. This is an abbreviation for L Berta, which I'm assuming is the area in Canada. Is that the province? Yeah. I think it's a province next. We have. Altaic. A. L. T. A. I see the is capitalized. This is an adjective from seventeen fifty seven one of or relating to the all-time mountains to of relating to or constituting, the Turkic tongue goose creek, and Mongolian language families. Collectively next. We have I'll tear or I'll tear capital. A L, T A. I R this is a noun from seventeen fifty nine the brightest star in the constellation akilah or Akwa. Vietnamese says this is from the Arabic all tie year, and it literally means the flyer f l I e r next we have alter. A. L. T A R. This is a noun from before the twelfth century one eight usually raised structure, or place on which sacrifices are offered or incense is burned in worship often used. Figuratively to describe a thing, given great or undue precedence or value, especially at the cost of something else as in sacrificed, his family life on the altar of career advancement to a table on which the eucharistic elements are consecrated or which serves as a center of worship or ritual. The etymology says this is from the Latin aloe dairy which means to burn up next. We have altar boy to separate words. This is a noun from seventeen seventy two a boy who assists, the celebrant in service next is altar. Call two words visiting noun from eighteen ninety nine and appeal by an evangelist to worshippers to come forward to signify their decision to commit their lives to Christ next is altar of repose. It's often capitalized. Often shown as a and are both capitalized. It is from eighteen fifty three. We just have these synonym repository to next is altarpiece. All one word. A. L. T. A. R. P. I. E. C E. This is a noun from sixteen forty four a work of art that decorates the space above and behind an altar next. We have altar rail, two words, are I l this is a noun from seventeen o five a railing in front of an altar, separating the chancellor, from the body of the church next is altar server to separate words. This is a noun from eighteen twenty six a boy, or girl who assists, the celebrant in service, that was kind of hard to read for me. I had to do a few takes next. We have altar stone, two words noun from the fourteenth century. Aced? Tone, slab with a compartment containing the relics of murders that forms an essential part of a Roman Catholic, altar next is all Taza myth. That's an interesting word eight LT. As E. M. U T H. This is a noun from eighteen fifty one eight telescope mounted so that it can swing horizontally and vertically, also any of several other similarly mounted instruments next, we have alter, it sounds, the same, but it's spelled different. A. L T R. This is a verb from the fourteenth century transitive definitions are one to make different without changing into something else, too. We have these synonyms castrate and spay. Now, we have the in transitive definition just means to become different synonym says, see the word change alter. Ability is a noun alterable is an adjective, Alterra, ably is an adverb and alter is a noun next and last word for this episode is. Alteration. A. L. T. E. R. A. T. I O N. This is a noun from the fourteenth century one, the act or process of altering the state of being altered to the result of altering synonym is modification, and with that we will end this wonderful episode. Next time we will be skipping page thirty six because it is the alphabet table that has come up a few times. It's not really something that I can describe to you. But maybe I'll take a picture of it and post it somewhere or something. Maybe on the Facebook page, maybe on the Twitter anyway, we will start at the top of Bauge thirty seven next time. Thank you, and goodbye.

Al A. L. T. E. R. A. T. Marya L Berta A. L. T E. M. U T Facebook Alterra A. L. T. Canada A. L. S. T. R. O. E. M. E. R. Twitter chancellor Akwa Bauge A. L. T. A. R. P. I. E. C
#A141 (alternation of generations to altocumulus) ft. David

The Dictionary

16:27 min | 1 year ago

#A141 (alternation of generations to altocumulus) ft. David

"Hello word nerds. Welcome to another episode of the dictionary. If you listened to yesterday's episode you heard David as the guest reader, and we have David again, today will see if I let him back in again in the future. All right. Mentzer David go for it. All right. Thank you, Spencer. I'm having a lot of fun with this. Our first one for today is alternation of generations. This is from eighteen thirteen and the definition is the occurrence of two or more forms differently produced in the life cycle of a plant or animal usually involving the regular alternation of a sexual with an ace sexual generation, so sort of a mix and match their. Yeah. Literally, I guess. Good. All right. So our next one has actually two forms to definitions. This is alternative one. Okay. So this is an adjective from fifteen forty number one, we have the synonym, alternate one, number two, offering or expressing h us such as several alternative Bland's, number three different from the usual, or conventional. So I, I would probably say Spencer is an alternative to a no alternative to me. I'm unique good. This is three eight Spencer. It's existing or functioning outside the established, cultural, social or economic system. The examples here would be an alternative newspaper or alternative lifestyles, the neck. Next is three be this is of relating to, or being rock music, that is regarded as an alternative to conventional rock and is typically influenced by punk rock, hard, rock, hip, hop, or folk music, and personally for me, alternative really hit me in college. When I heard Kirk cobaine, I thought that was alternative during my time, three c of or relating to alternative medicine, and here, it would be used in a statement, such as alternative therapies, and the adver form is alternatively, and the noun is actually alternative nece, these second form of alternative from fifteen seventy six this is one alternative is considered a noun one a it proposition or situation, offering a choice between two or more things. Only one of which may be chosen. One be an opportunity for deciding between two or more courses, or propositions, here's to a one or two or more things courses, or propositions to be chosen to be something, which can be chosen instead such as the only alternative to intervention. And three is alternative rock music. And there is a synonym listed checkout choice. So the synonym is choice. Our next one is from nineteen seventy seven. It's a noun alternative medicine. So it sounds like that kind of got going at the same time culturally. We started to experience that in this country. It's a noun from one thousand nine hundred seventy seven meaning any of various systems of healing or treating disease such as chiropractic, homeopathy or faith. Healing not included in the traditional medical curricula of the US and Britain, so interesting that neither country pick this up as alternative form to medicine. Well, it's an alternative literally, they didn't pick it up as traditional medicine. And I think there's obviously still a lot of people who agree with that decision. And before Spencer, not go down that rabbit hole. Let's just go to the next the next definition. It is a noun from nineteen seventy seventy-two alternative school. Seventies were quite a time for social change. The definition is an elementary or secondary school with a nontraditional curriculum. And I think many of us know what, what that would look like. In fact, I'm sure some of us have some friends that have kids in alternative schools, and such so. Absolutely. It's a big thing, especially nowadays. Right. And let's go to the next word Spencer. It's alternator alternator. It's a noun and old noun from eighteen eighty three and it means an electric generator for producing alternating current. So here's a word that might be uncommon in your usage. It's altered horn. It's spelled L T H. O R N. And if you're into music you might already know what this word is. Is from eighteen fifty four. It's a noun. It means an Alto sax horn. So it's basically an Alto saxophone spend. I'm not one hundred percent sure on that it's sax horn might be different from saxophone. I actually played the saxophone for many years, and I've never really heard sax horn. Oh, maybe it's sort of a, a slang usage, but I might have to look into that. And see what a sax horn is to say I walked right into that. If you having played saxophone I only played the French horn, I set you up and the piano by your. Yeah. You that's not surprising and or. Or that attitudes from okay? The next word is although, and there is an uncommon spelling of, although most of us know, although is spelled L, T, H, G H. There is also version. A. L. T H O, and it's a conjugation it's from the fourteenth century. And it means in spite of the fact that or even though our next word is a noun ultimate her from seventeen sixty eight ultimately is spelled A. L. T I. M E, E R. It means an instrument for measuring altitude and more specifically, and especially an Android barometer. Designed to register changes in atmospheric pressure accompanying changes in altitude. You noted saying, there, don't you, you understand every single word in that sense? Sure. Yep. And this me too, especially when I consider it's also announced, so now it all makes sense of Timothy that is another form of all Tinder, it's a noun ale t I m e r y our next word that we're going to look at Spencer's noun. It's altiplano and it sounds like another uncommon word probably from most of us. L T I. P L, A, N, O, and this word is from nineteen nineteen, it means a high plateau, or plane, and the synonym is table land. So this word is actually from American Spanish from the Latin Altus plus platinum. So I think a lot of us can can make a judgment there. If we know Altus is altitude and actually also means high so Altus and plant them together high plain are. Our next word is altitude. It's a noun from the fourteenth century. There are a few definitions of it. Here, one, a is the angular elevation of celestial object above the horizon one be the vertical elevations of an object above a surface as sea level or land of a planet, or natural satellite. This is one c one a perpendicular line segment from verdicts of a geometric figure as a triangle or appear, mid to the opposite side or the opposite side, extended or from aside or face to a parallel side or face or the side or face extended. That was a fun at definition. I'm completely lost him too. Here's number to a high level as of quality or feeling such as the altitudes of his anger three. Vertical distance were extent, three B position at a height, and three C is an elevated region. And usually used in plural. Eminence is a synonym. Also for a synonym. You can see the word height. And I think that's second one height is for the word as a whole eminence. I think is specifically for the three. See definition, and then height is for the whole thing. Thank you, Spencer. We also have to adjectives that derive from L to tude. It is altitude to know and altitude Innis fund words. Yes. So if you hear someone tell you that at a party or use one of those two, they are both right that they probably also listen to this podcast. They should probably get off their altitude horse as well. Night. Nice one. Nice story. Our next word is out. Attitude sickness. Sorry. Pretty sure that's altitude sickness. You got sickness in the attitude. Your attitude is so sick. Okay. Sorry altitude sickness. Remember folks, this is a forty seven year old with context, the word is a noun. It's from one thousand nine hundred one and here's the definition. The effects has headache, nausea or swelling of the brain of oxygen deficiency. In the blood and tissues developed at high altitudes having reduced atmospheric pressure. So this is something Spencer that probably a lot of mountain climbers experience. Have you ever experienced this? I did experience this a few times, one of my favorite states in the country is Colorado. I spent a lot of time there. And every time I've hiked to a peek, I've had some form of at least slight slight oxygen depravity. No, no attitude sickness. I, I think I think that's a lifetime disease for me. I actually did experience altitude sickness. When I was maybe ten years old, my family and another family, went on a road trip to the Colorado area. I can't remember if it was Colorado or some other part, but we, we were way up there national park. Maybe probably probably in we were at a restaurant, and I said, I gotta throw up and I threw up into some, I think they brought like a potted plant over something I think I threw up in that. And I think I felt better. But yeah, that's my altitude sickness story. I do have an altitude sickness story. I think I got or or more than one but I'll keep it short. I had a few experiences of that in my uncle's plane when I was growing up, he would fly around in the Cessna, so he would just stop by just, you know, pick me up as his favorite nephew, as his nephew was named after him. And he would fly me around just, just different. Beautiful places. Tennessee. Wisconsin Bendel out of places but I did experience altitudes. Did you throw up in the plane? I did not. I held it. But I was very I could tell I was in. All right. Spencer were were rounding out the process here, Spencer. We are down to the there's two words here, there's two meanings of one word. Okay. And two forms of this word Alto. So the first one is a noun. The plural is Altos and it's from seventeen twenty four. There are a few definitions here, Spencer, one eight is actually a synonym. They list counter tenor. One be the synonym is contralto. So it's kind of like a contour Alto, and I think it can also be pronounced contra Alto depending on the context. I think, well, it does have won a but it's a good point. You could be. Yeah. That's true. That's true. You're right. You're right. Contralto. So and then we have a second definition, the second highest voice part in a four part chorus, and that's probably what most resonates with most of us, the third definition is a member of a family of instruments, having arranged lower than that of the treble, or soprano, so especially, and Alto saxophone. And it comes full circle, ladies and gentlemen, we've answered our own question, the first saxophone I played I played was an Alto saxophone. I moved on, I don't actually I skip the tenor and then I went right to the baritone, but I did get to play the bass saxophone for a couple of years. And I even tried out a contra bass saxophone once which was awesome. And I hope that wasn't the last time I get to do that. But let's move onto the second form of Alto and Spencer. Obviously, didn't tell you that he rehearsed as well for the Simpsons, but they replaced, the part and made a day woman instead of a man. The next the second the second version of Alto is actually an adjective from seventeen twenty four. It means relating to or having the range or part of an Alto. And our final word for today Spencer, and it's a doozy. So I'll spell. It is Alto Cumulus. Now, if you are a weather fan, you've probably heard this term, it is from eighteen forty four it is a noun and implorer form, you would spell it, Alto cumulatively. So it's a l t o c u m u l u s and in plural form instead of the L US, you would spell it with an L, and I this is from eighteen eighty four and someone must have looked up on a cloudy day and came up with this. You know what Spencer be interesting if they listed who these definitions were discovered by if they had that person's name when I edit this, I can look up Alto Cumulus, and see if there is a single person who's designated as the inventor of the word I doubt it right there could be right. I'm sure everything Biggs. Listed around that time. Cumulus Cumulus Alto. Cumulus strategy. Cumulus, whatever. Maybe I made up Stroud Cumulus in nature. Eighteen eighty four is when Alto Cumulus comes into our, our vernacular. It means a fleecy, mid altitude cloud formation, consisting of large whitish, globular masses with shaded portions. And you would see what an Alto Cumulus. Looks like if you would see a cloud illustration. So that's what the dictionary says. Yeah. And I think that if when we get to the seas, there will be an illustration of various forms of clouds is what I'm guessing. Well, that is ending our episode. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you David for talking. Thanks for having me on Spencer hope to hope to be on again sometime soon. We'll see what the people say, please Email at dictionary. Potted gmaiLcom, tweet me Facebook at cetera. All. The information is are in the episode. Details. If you want to give me money, so I can pay to do this, or so I can afford to do this. I have a patriot with zero subscribers. Thank you very much. And until next time this is Spencer reading the dictionary goodbye.

Spencer Alto Cumulus Alto Cumulus Cumulus Alto David contra Alto Stroud Cumulus Alto altiplano US Facebook Kirk cobaine A. L. T H O Colorado Altus Wisconsin tude Innis
115: Before You Decide, HALT

The Next Right Thing

09:11 min | 8 months ago

115: Before You Decide, HALT

"I'm Emily Freeman and welcome to the next right thing. You're listening to episode one fifteen. This is a podcast about making decisions but also about making a life many of the decisions we make our second nature. I'm here for the ones that aren't if you struggle with decision fatigue chronic hesitation or if you just need a few minutes away from the constant stream of information and the sometimes delightful but also distracting home of entertainment. You're in the right place for a thoughtful story a little prayer a simple next race. Step if you're listening to this episode and you're well rested well fed clear-headed at peace happy even tempered and feeling basically great about life. This episode might not be for you today. You are of course still welcome to listen but a lot of what I have to say may just sound too obvious or overly simplistic or like basic common sense. In many ways this episode is obvious and also simple but in my experience when I have a decision to make especially if the decision feels complicated or layered with high stakes and responsibility attached to it. Sometimes common sense is the first thing out the window. I'm going to put on my mom hat now and remind us all of the worst times to make big decisions and what to do instead listening. You may already know the acronym halt H. A. L. T. If not will unpack that a bit today. People in recovery communities may be familiar with halt. So you're already steps ahead of us. Basically the halt method is to decision. Making an impulse control as stop drop and roll is to fire safety. Actually I quickly. Google search stopped dropping role. Because I haven't heard that phrase in a long time and it's actually outdated fire safety advice because really if you think about it. If there's a fire the last thing we want you to start doing is rolling around you actually need to high tail it out of there but anyway halt is a tool often used by those in recovery as a way to pay attention to win were in a vulnerable state. It's like a warning system for when we might need to reach out for help or take a simple action. So the H. in halt stands for Hungary. Maybe you think you're hungry for attention or importance or productivity or a new job but really you just need a Taco or maybe you do actually need some attention or support and that's where having a good support system in decision making comes in which is not to be downplayed but hunger leads to confused decision making. Don't make decisions on an empty stomach instead. You're next right. Thing is to eat something number. Two the a stands for anger listen. Anger can be phenomenal teacher. Dallas Willard says that what's bothering US could be the most revolutionary question. We all could ask ourselves. And I would add to that. What makes us angry is also potentially a revolutionary question and a really important question to be able to answer but anger as a secondary emotion. So when we're angry we maybe have actually gotten down to the root of things quite yet and the worst time to make a decision is when the real issue is masked by a more prominent emotion. That may actually be secondary or even unimportant to the decision at all. We have to get to the root of the anger and learn to properly express it and if we don't our anger could lead to impulsive decision making and possibly an apology tour. If you have a big decision to make an you're angry you're next right. Thing is not to write the email or make the phone call or sign the contract or have the confrontation. Your next right thing is some deep breathing and maybe a walk around the block next is L. and L. stands for lonely. If you're feeling lonely I listened to episode one fourteen where I talk for. Sixteen straight minutes about my own loneliness lately but if you can avoid making big decisions in the midst of intense loneliness do loneliness can drive us to act before ready simply because we want to do anything to escape that feeling but sometimes loneliness isn't something we can action step our way out of and so it can lead desperate decision making you have a big decision to make and you're feeling lonely. You're next right thing could be to welcome the loneliness just for a beat before you move ahead into action. An episode one. Fourteen could help with that. We'll finally the t the T stands for tired if you have a decision hanging over your head and you can feel yourself becoming irritable anxious weary and weighed down. Maybe you're next right. Thing has absolutely nothing to do with that decision and everything to do with getting some rest take. A breath closed the notebooks and the computers closed the phone and go to bed. This decision cannot wait forever but can it wait until the morning exhaustion leads to lazy decision. Making if you're feeling tired and you have a decision to make your next right thing could be to get some rest and wait until the morning and then when morning comes hope. Weigh your options and listen to your life and do your next rate thing. Make a choice episode one. Oh nine could help you with that. So Halt H. L. T. It's a simple but helpful way to remind ourselves of the importance of caring for and attending to our basic human. Needs if you have a decision that's giving you trouble or if your hands are itching to take action but you feel unsure about what to do next. Ask yourself these four main questions. What am I hungry for? Is it food love? Respect or belonging number two. What am I angry about what? Emotion Lurks beneath anger. Is it fear? Shame injustice number three. Am I feeling lonely when I think of the people in my corner? Who's faces come to mind? Is there a true friend? I can call a family member. Who has my back a place where I feel safe number four? Am I tired? Do I need a change of scenery along nap a true break? A good night's sleep if you have a decision to make or even if you simply find yourself feeling heavy with the burden of decision fatigue and that constant over thinking maybe you need to halt and give yourself your best shot at making decisions that sing well with your core values your inner life and what matters most to you in the world as you pay attention to the needs of your body may your Jesus attend to the needs of your soul as you continue to do your next right thing in love. Thanks FOR LISTENING TO EPISODE ONE. Fifteen of the next rate thing. I hope this invitation to halt can be just one more rung on the Trellis upon which your rhythm of life can continue to grow. Because it's true. This is a podcast about making decisions. The big truth is that our daily decisions are actually making our lives as always you can find me online at Emily. P FREEMAN DOT com or on instagram at. Mvp Freeman if you come back next week. I'm going to continue to share some more tips on listening to your life decision. Making and listen. I'm going to share with you. My very own acronym that. I made up not until you what it is yet but just know. It's a few more reasons to pause before making a decision. I know you're not gonNA WANNA miss that while for now. A lot of what we talked about can be summed up in one simple tweet. I saw back in December by a username. Jeanne gang it was December six and I know it resonated with a lot of people because at the time of this recording it has eighteen. Point five thousand retweets and sixty four thousand lakes. Here's what it says. Two important lessons I learned in my twenty S. If you think everyone hates you you probably need to sleep. If you think you hate everyone you probably need to eat. Well it's simple but it's true. Thanks for listening and I'll see you next time.

Emily Freeman feeling tired Google Hungary Dallas Willard H. A. L. T. Jeanne
Give Checkerberry a try

Your Gardening Questions

02:56 min | 11 months ago

Give Checkerberry a try

"Hi this is Mark News from plan. Talk Radio thanks. For subscribing and listening to our podcast. You're gardening questions from plan. Talk Radio to help. Keep this podcast free for you. We're we're partnering with Stokes seeds. Preplanned your indoor seed starting program with the help of the all new stokes website now mobile and tablet friendly. The new website is a brand new gardening. Experience Variance offers better interactivity and higher quality imagery. But what hasn't changed is the stokes website is still the complete resource center with valuable information on seed starting earning planting and harvesting all the gardening accessories and a free catalog whether you're adding texture. A new variety for a splash of color developing an existing garden or starting from scratch. Stoke seeds has some great resources to help you. Plus all the gardening accessories you need to make your garden. The envy of the neighborhood get growing with stokes. Now how today's question. What what's this plant that you have written here. I don't think I've ever heard of before called Checker Berry. We'll check berry is also called. Technically Gulf Era G. A. L. T. H. E. R. A. Goal Thera- is a little plant. That's ground cover. Six inches tall is probably its maximum. Many people in Ohio will not have good luck growing them they. They require pretty specific situation. High organic soil well drained but always moist and so on grow best in the shade. The reason I put it down is I just bought one in a container The top is maybe five inches tall six six inches across out of the pot full of red berries almost the size of a sour cherry and brighter than a Sour Cherry. Rethinks of getting. It's kind of Christmasy thing you can try to grow it outside. I I will indeed upsize the pot Very soon so that I well after Christmas. I don't want to mess with it right now because when you when you handle them at this point in time you can knock off some of the berries It sitting on my kitchen window right now. It's absolutely brilliant in terms of the fruit. The the leaf is a shiny dark. I don't know inching a quarter long. Maybe three quarters of an inch wide wide at the very most. And it's it's a pretty little pot plant at this point but you can keep it alive also all winter put it out in the summertime in in the right spot that he is High in organic matter and so on you might be able to get along with it. But I'm thinking more of it as a pot plant for right now and certainly With those Big Fat Torri Berries and shiny leaves. It's quite remarkable as a pot plant right now. Thanks again for listening to the PODCAST. Remember preplanned your indoor seed starting program with the help of Stokes folks gardening guide and their online articles on their brand new website. Now mobile and tablet friendly and request your free catalog while you're online. For the best selection of vegetable flower four and herbs seats available go to Stoke Seeds Dot COM cultivating successful growers for generations.

Stokes Stokes Big Fat Torri Berries Mark News Ohio G. A. L. T. H. E. R. six six inches three quarters five inches Six inches
[PODCAST] Concerned about Osteoporosis or Osteopenia?

Beyond Your Wildest Genes

12:08 min | 10 months ago

[PODCAST] Concerned about Osteoporosis or Osteopenia?

"Do Three four last six. Hello WD tribe. Here's a quick peek. At our supplement product in book of the month for January. Yes I say. January twenty twenty at the end of the podcast l.. Spend a few minutes going into further detail so we encourage you to listen to the end. The supplement of the month for January twenty twenty is bone health plus simply said we we have not found a more complete bone health formula on the market period. The ten percent discount code for the month is lower case. B O any H. e. a. l.. Not a bone help. The product of the month for January is one calorie zero sugar forty nutrients Kito vegan Paleo non. Gmo Energy bits. Twenty percent off four ever using the code. BYU WG and that's upper or lower case. The book of the month for January is stopped doing that S. S. H. T. and self sabotage and demand your life back by Gary. John Bishop keep in mind all the links discount codes special offers for the product supplement impact. Will we listen to the show tonight. Tunes Post on Social Media and on our website and weekly newsletter at www dot beyond your wildest jeans dot com at the listen down tap. Thanks for listening everybody. It's Dr Mike and to know two thirds of your Byu WG team this week. We are your podcast guests with a highlighted look at one of our premium supplements bone health. Plus we know you're going to listen. Listen to the end of course but just in case we want to give you a heads up to ten percent. Discount Code for the month of January twenty twenty and that is bone own B o n e health H. E. A. L. T. H.. And that is case sensitive all lower case exactly exactly so you may be wondering why create this formula well as chiropractors all three of us in functional medicine Docs for collective fifty five plus years. Our patients share with us their bone density tests nearly on a daily basis and we can attest firsthand a number of people. Oh more so women who have Osteo Pina or osteoporosis. Seeing patients with collapse vertebrae and X ray because of bone structure weakness happens often. And it's an incredibly painful situation. Something you want to avoid at all costs this is the why for us formulating and creating this supplement so we want to go over some of the ingredients. And what makes our product stand. Out First thing is calcium calcium hydroxy appetite it's an elemental form of calcium and has additional components that helps support bone remodeling. There's calcium citrate this. This is more than twice bioavailable as more commonly used and cheap cheaper calcium carbonate so calcium. citrate it is also better absorbed by older people who often have less stomach acid magnesium which plays critical role in bone formation nation and helps with calcium absorption. There's Silica and Cilla silk. Acids that are useful for strengthening hair nail cartilage bone and teeth and it increases calcium. Absorption the last thing in what I'm going to read is Zinc which is involved in the production of enzymes that recycle worn out portions of bone protein and for healing of injured bones. What do you have no more really cool? Things added into this limitation action of Boron Boron assist with calcium absorption and bone formation and has been shown that anti OSTEO product activity it is especially effective in the presence up deficiencies in Vitamin D magnesium and potassium. I just heard to Mike You've probably heard this as well. 'cause we listen to the same things that Boron also helps activate stem cells really really interesting. Manganese is essential for bone growth fat metabolism and synthesis of protein nucleic acids and cartilage manganese helps helps to keep calcium soluble or bioavailable in like vitamin C. and zinc assist in calcium. Absorption Copper is needed in the bio synthesis of bone and connective tissue. So of course we added that there's the MK seven form of vitamin K to not to be confused with item in K.. One which plays a significant -nificant role in the prevention and treatment of osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease and vitamin D three is the principal regulator of calcium homeo- stasis involved in skeletal development and bone mineralisation Vitamin D. Three is also essential for promoting calcium absorption in the gut. Now Mike. I know you know this. I'm and I'm sure you have something more to say. But you know each one of these ingredients works like in a perfect Orchestra symphony to take calcium out of where it needs from. The supplement takes it out of the blood keeps in the bone with the absorption help that manganese magnesium vitamin D does vitamin ITEM IN K- it's just a this is a this is by far the most complete complex well put together bone health formula I have ever ever seen and we look at these types of things each and every day the important thing and what what what. The questions we get had a lot is oh I have asked. UPI BLASIO PEROT SIS. My doctor said to just take calcium and calcium by itself is not gonna a help to regenerate bone calcium. If it's not pushed into the bone into the muscle into the the gut is GonNa stay in the bloodstream. And that is a real and significant health problem so the most important thing I want people he put a get from. This is number one. You cannot supplement your way out of a poor diet these are designed these are state eight of the art stup laments you cannot find anywhere else. Number two is you're gonNA have to move. You're going to have to do some weight bearing activity if you make your muscles stronger your bones have to be stronger to support your muscles it. It's it doesn't work any other way and then by taking supplements such as bone health. You'RE GONNA you. You have a real opportunity to make significant change to your bone matrix. Yeah you know just well well said Mike and we have several patients right now. That have been taking bone bone health formula for over six months that had their prior bone density tests and we will be sharing with you their improved scores on their bone density tests in probably about another six months and I have no doubt that they'll be improved with this fantastic formula chur so we have for women. We suggest five caps per day and for men four capsules a day and we and we recommend that you take that with meals it helps to better assimilate the Ah The elements that are in it. This is a super super safe supplement but just read the cautions we always do. These supplements are generally considered safe for for most people however with all chemical there are. Some people are sensitive to specific components. No contraindications are known but potential drug interactions may exist please. He's consult your medical doctor or functional medicine. Doctors have any concerns regarding your medications so we would avoid this supplement or we suggest you avoid to supplement went if you're have helped hyper calcium lia or those who have calcium containing kidney stones report hyper calcium lia or people who create create calcium containing kidney stones. I just want to read you a quick disclaimer beyond your wildest jeans and the company staff AF owners and associates are not medical doctors and we do not diagnose prescribe or treat or claim to prevent any disease our mission is to the education power inspire our community. No health claims of any kind of been made in the course or in any of the companies literature and he statements made about our products. X N courses have been have not been evaluated by the FDA if you have or may have an illness. Consult your licensed health care practitioner. So what do next. Well for more information you can go to our website. WWW dot beyond your wildest jeans dot com the entire SPEC she can be found there and loads of research articles supporting the use of Bone L. Plus and all other supplements for that matter. You can take the two minute ten question quiz quiz to help narrow your supplement choices and receive the ten percent off your first order and as mentioned for the entire month of January twenty twenty if you use the Code Bone Health B. O.. Any H. E. L. P. H. All lower case your seat ten percent of bone health plus on behalf half of the entire Iwo. WG Team Mike Wanderley and myself. Thank you for listening. Merry Christmas this. If you happy Hannukah happy new year. We hope you've had a fantastic holiday season. And of course be awesome. Awesome and never on awesome. It's Dr Noah in back. I suspect you love listening to this. Week's podcast release. We really wanted to introduce you. Aw to an incredible author and one of be White. WD's favorite Gary. John Bishop author of the New York Times Bestseller Annette. K A yourself. His newest book is awesome. We selected as January twenty twenty book of the month to start the year off with a bang. The book's title stopped doing that. S H beep. He we self sabotage demand your life back. Our product of the month is another worthy energy pits. I've interviewed the CEO. Katherine Arniston twice on the B. Y.. WG podcast with the latest being released in early January twenty twenty. He's an absolute world class educator in passionate senate about algae and you either spiriting or Clara or a fifty fifty combination of both in one calorie tabs that had zero sugar forty nutrients KITA friendly only Paleo friendly vegan friendly and non. GMO become in one thousand tab bags or easy to use thirty count single servings you can pick them up at www dot energy bits dot com and if you use the code B. Y. WG either lower upper case you'll receive twenty percent off your orders for ever. The supplement of the month for January twenty twenty is b. y. WBZ's bone health plus as chiropractors are patients share their bone density tests with us quite often and we can attest to the incredible incredible number patients. Who have either Ostia Pena or osteoporosis? This formulation was a no brainer. Calcium is simply not enough. This formulation has calcium magnesium easiest vitamin D three K. to Boron Silica copper and more all the big players in all the micronutrients to built and rebuilt strong healthy bones. You can check out the SPEC Beck Sheet and a research articles at our website at www dot beyond your wildest jeans Dot Com. The ten percent discount code for the month of January is all lower case bone L. E. H. E. A. L. T.. Thank you for listening and be awesome and never an awesome.

Dr Mike John Bishop Gary Dot Com Boron Boron BYU H. E. A. L. T. H Osteo Pina Katherine Arniston FDA Ostia Pena Mike Wanderley
Season Three Launch Party! Plus: Introducing "The Left Ear"

Family Ghosts

05:39 min | 1 year ago

Season Three Launch Party! Plus: Introducing "The Left Ear"

"Hello Ghost Family Sam here. You're humble ghost host checking in with a brief dispatch from W. A. L. T. studios production for season. Three of our show is underway season. Three is coming your way on December fourth and we are bringing you more family ghost than ever this this season fifteen all new episodes. I can't wait for you to hear them now. Speaking of season three I wanNa let you know. Oh that if you will be in New York on December third. That's the night before season three launches. We're going to have a big live show to celebrate that launch. It's going to be at caveat which is a beautiful theater on the lower east side. If you haven't been to a family ghosts live show before or even if you have this is going to be our best one yet we'll be bringing you are customary mix of styles and tricks live music and storytelling inspired by the theme of Familial Legacy plus an exclusive -clusive sneak peek at the stories for season three and we have got a wide array on tap for you as usual. We've got long lost fathers. We've got long lost brothers. We have a three part series about the descendants of the captives on the last known slave ship to enter. US waters we have bank robbers. We have bootleggers Lakers and much much more so please do join us at the show if you're able. It's GonNa be a beautiful night with myself. The family ghosts team and lots of your fellow members of the Ghost family tickets for the show are just twelve dollars. They are available now on our website family. GHOSTS PODCAST CAST DOT COM just look for the link at the top of the page that says family ghosts live if you are one of our kindred spirits supporters on patriotic and thank you so so much all of you that are you can get tickets to the show for half price. Six dollars and kindred spirits will be receiving an email about that this week. I can't wait wait to celebrate the third season with all of you at the show all right so today. I want to introduce you to something new from our friends at spoke media now I should tell you before we go further that this is a project that deals with very intense subject matter specifically sexual assault and abuse in a minute. We're we're GONNA play you the trailer for the left ear which is spokes new podcast produced in collaboration with Dakota Johnson. You probably know Dakota Johnson from movies like suspicious the spirit and the fifty shades series just to name a couple back in September of last year. Dakota took the stage at the Global Citizen Festival on behalf of the Hashtag bag. She is equal campaign which is a global initiative to bring awareness in reform women's healthcare and to put a spotlight on the magnitude of harassment and assault that women in girls experience all around the world so when Dakota got on the stage at global citizen she did something remarkable. She shared her phone number and she asked women and girls around the world to call in and tell her their stories. She promised that she would find a way to make their voices heard and now they we'll be on this podcast that Dakota has made with spoke. It's called the left ear and there's actually a couple episodes up in their feed. I would recommend starting with the prologue which will give you some information to guide. You're listening experience as you engage with these very powerful and harrowing stories but right now. We're going to play the trailer for the show so if you're moved by what you hear find the left ear wherever you listen to podcasts this is cody Johnson. Please leave the voicemail after the tone and I will record and share your stories so that we can live in a world world where she is equal. Thank you hi. I'm calling in New Jersey California. I'm from my study at brought in London. Sexually assaulted I was sexually harassed was sexually molested verbal abuse. I've never told my full story cast on regular share at next my story all I shared with many people never told anyone even though you're teaching out here and I'm telling you my this is the left ear podcast. Each episode will listen to stories of assault abuse and harassment from survivors around the blow. Your left ear is the era closest to your heart and by listening with your heart you create a safe space for the silenced to the speaker. Thank you for your bravery to the listener. Thank you thank you very much for listening. Thank you because the courage to speak out about thank you so much for being a thank you for listening and I just want to tell you thank you thank you for doing. Thank you the mark. Thank you thank you. I really really appreciate this. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts in your

Dakota Johnson assault Dakota cody Johnson US harassment W. A. L. T. New York New Jersey London California twelve dollars Six dollars
25: The Ambassador

Family Ghosts

47:56 min | 9 months ago

25: The Ambassador

"Spoke Media Hello Ghost family. Welcome to family ghosts the last time I saw my grandmother on my Dad's side and she was ninety four. I've gone to visit her at the senior center where she was living and I knew it might be one of the last times. I got to see her so I had brought my tape recorder with me because there was this story I'd heard just a few years earlier. It turns out I had an uncle. I never knew about who died by suicide when he was a teenager. As longtime listeners might recall that story was the basis for the season finale of the first season in a family ghosts. But you don't hear my grandmother's voice in that episode. Because that day at the senior center I was too scared to ask her about it. I spent a few hours with my grandma that day and at one point she even looked me right in the eye and said I've got a few stories I could tell you but still something stopped me me from asking about my uncle. Eventually an attendant knocked on her door and told me it was time for my grandma to get ready for evening routine and that I had to leave and the memory that has haunted me ever since that day is turning in the doorway and seeing her sitting in her chair looking out the window a- and realizing this was probably going to be my last image of her which it was recently. My friend. Mack stopped by the Blue Room where we record all audio here. WWL failty when he got here. He immediately commented on some of the inspirational totems. That I'd like to keep a silver pinky ring with a bright blue stone. A placement picture of Cape Cod on it a framed copy of an original Pogo Comic Book. And then of course the PS stories. Stunts a Magenta level which I turned on on just before macaroni. It's been a while since my last love lamping but it gets going at some point right. Oh yeah yeah it probably looks a little bleak right now. The it'll it'll warm up it. It should warm up. I've known for about five years. I ever since he visited my apartment to record an episode of a baseball podcast. I used to do with another friend. It was about the Baltimore Orioles and politics in that order and we called it Baltimore on. I know great title. Mac came on the show to tell us about the time he actually tried out to play for the Baltimore. Orioles and every throw was about four feet too short and skip past the first baseman. And then we got to batting. Didn't even call my name. And I I just slunk off with nothing within a sunburn bad memories who's like the worst fielding Oriole shortstop I was that guy but beyond this ongoing and ill-advised allegiance to one of the most difficult to love baseball teams on the planet. I recently discovered that Mac and I have something else in common that day in the Blue Room a couple months ago after we'd been talking for a while l. and the lava lamp got going man. Started telling me about how he hasn't been to visit his mom in a long time that he feels guilty about that and that whenever he thinks about at her it makes him really sad mostly when I think about her I just picture her sitting alone in her room looking out the window. Part of the reason Mac and I were talking. That day is because a few years ago I read this article. He wrote for docker along personal history about the mysterious various circumstances surrounding the death of his brother. And it's lingering impact on Max relationships with his parents and in spite of all the time Mac and I have spent together over the last few ears clowning around in bars and weirdly decorated podcast studios. I had no idea about this terrible chapter. In his life his brother Asher was was shot and killed in a carjacking in nineteen ninety two and the perpetrator was never caught. That's the story that Pactel's Gawker piece but that's not the story. We're going to tell on the show this week because after I read Max Essay and sat down with him to talk about it I found out. There's more to the story. The reason that Mac hasn't seen his mom in a long time. Is that when Mac was in high school his mom did something that made matfield really betrayed so betrayed in fact that he left her house in the middle of the night and never went back. Their relationship had always been complicated and once he was gone. It felt easier to stay on. So that's what he did. And then decades went by and now that maximum is nearing the end of her life. Max Getting Ready to go visit her for the first time in a long time and he's trying to decide if they're finally going to do something they've never done to talk about what happened to Asher and whatever happened between the two of them. Regret of mine that Yeah that I never sort of summoned would hover. I needed to to have that conversation about kind of everything and just a lot about my mom's life it remains mysterious to me from spoke media and W. A. L. T.. You're listening to family ghosts. I'm salmon and this is episode. Twenty five the ambassador. Our story continues after the break. This episode is sponsored by embark. Whether you have a new pup or an old friend and embarked breeden health test is the key to unlocking your dogs. Unique breed mix and genetically informed. Health needs. You can help your pup live. It's healthiest and happiest life from breed traits to genetic risk factors for health conditions. Embarked provides the resources to help you. And Your Best Taylor care to your dogs. Specific needs embark is the only dog. DNA tests that performs research grade DNA testing and that allows their veterinary and research teams to conduct groundbreaking research to extend the lives of all dogs. Best of all. It's easy to get started. I know this from personal experience as I told you last time I sent my brother Jake. The embark dog DNA test kit and he gave the test to his dog otter about whom we know some wonderful things like the fact that she loves to have her body touching as many members of our family as possible at all times. But we don't know as much as we could about her background background and genetic makeup now thanks to embark we're about to learn embark has let jake know that they are processing the results. And I'm GonNa tell you all about it the next time. We have an embark. Add on the show right now. Embark has an exclusive offer. You can't get anywhere else. Go to embark vet dot com now and use is Promo code ghosts to say fifteen percent of your dog. DNA Test Kit. That's fifteen percent off your dog DNA test kit. When you visit embark vet dot com Tom and use Promo code ghosts to save spout media? Last summer I went to visit Max apartment. He lives there with his wife. Catherine there are two daughters and a dog named selley alert. So good when I got there. Mac had this big Manila folder open on the dining room table with all kinds of old documents spilling out of it. This is might w this is wild. Actually this next thing is. It's one of those folders. A lot of people have the contains this random hodgepodge of family memorabilia. Eighth Grade Report Cards childhood drawings that once hung from magnet on the fridge a letter MAC sent his cousin about a baseball game that he went to and there was also this letter that Max mom rose wrote to her mom Max Grandma in the mid ninety s she talks in here from what I can tell I think like you know. It's part of her kind of spiritual practice. There was a lot of dream analysis. Assists conversations with SAKIC's Just sort of anything. My mom could access. That would try to make sense of a world which I think often did not make sense. Dreams were very important to rose. In fact she goes goes by rose because she once had a dream that she should change her name from Joan to rose in this letter that we found in the folder. Rose is telling her mom about another dream she had and what she thinks. It might mean Mack told me that the mystical language his mom used in this letter was familiar to him. Rose rose used to talk to make like this when he was a kid. If I'd say like I feel really like despondent about this relationship efforts after she'd be like oh well part of the reason is your race three eight threes in are very sensitive etc so yeah the language is in there. At least some of this Max says came from Roses Study of Sufism a mystical strain of Islam. That rose got interested in when she was a teenager teenager. I mean my my grandma say My mom from very very early age had this something in her that propelled her to like seek out higher truths or understanding and clarity. You know from a very young age by by the time rose left for college at Bard College and upstate New York. She'd been studying Sufism for a few years and Mac doesn't know the details but shortly after Rose Gupta barred she had some kind of breakdown and my grandparents both drove up from Baltimore to Bardon collected her and brought her home and she never went back to school there. I just think like you know as that suggests she. I was very overwhelmed by the world from early on as part of our collaboration on this story I asked asked Mac to read me a few passes from that Gawker. PC wrote you'll be hearing them throughout the episode and in an Early Section he tells the story of something terrible arable. That happened to rose a few years after she left barred as a very young woman she fell in love with a Dashing University of Chicago Philosophy happy and mysticism student named Allan. He looked like a Jewish Alpa Chino soon enough. She was pregnant and then she was driving herself and Allen and their friend. I'M BARBARA FROM CHICAGO. To San Francisco to visit Allen's mother. Mom drove through the night until her eyes closed like their future. The Volvos get it off the road down Steep Hill and into a culvert Barbara was in the front next to mom and survived with serious injuries. Alan Alan in the back was crushed and half by the front seat. Mom broke arrest and was badly cut up was just before dawn on December Twentieth Twentieth. Nineteen sixty seven outside truth or consequences New Mexico Asher was born almost exactly five months later Asher is Max older brother and a couple years after Asher was born. Rose smet another student of Sufism named Henry they got married and eventually became disciples of this spiritual teacher named Mayor Baba Max Parents found a community in Baltimore where a lot of Baba's followers had settled and a few years later. Mac was born in the early years. Max says even though the block was lined with mystically inclined Bohemian parents. His mom was a little further out on the hippie spectrum than the other moms we the did not have a television which you know as kids really rubbed my brother and me terribly badly so often? We'd often complain to my mom about that fact and almost every time we did complain she would either point to the large window in the front of the House or walk over to the window. And just say there's television. Look out the window organic TV other than that. Mac says life was pretty good for he and Asher. They ran around the neighborhood with the other kids. They play baseball and drew pictures with rose at the kitchen table. And then around the time Mac was nine or ten he has this memory of an afternoon they spent with his Dat Henry once wanted to like take Asher and me on what he called a tour of Baltimore so you had all these spots. He wanted to show us. And you know we were both Kinda Kinda like initially rolling is like you know this is our town like are you going to show us but but ended up being actually being really cool the Baltimore. A tour started out. Great Henry took Mac and Asher up to the top of this hill a suburb a short drive from where they lived and they walked through this vast green field with a beautiful view view of the Baltimore Harbor where they could see the city sprawling out all around it later in the afternoon though. Mac says the tour started to get a little weird at the end. He took us to his favorite downtown bar. I think was called Reggie's very we like like swinger. Ish Bar Swinger like John. Federal like like Key closer to keep okay told me that even though he was just a kid hid when this happened it was clear to him. That Reggie's was a place that his dad went to to hang out without rose a few years later his parents. It's got divorced and with Henry out of the picture. Mac says he started to notice how close his mom. Tom and his brother were at one point. I came across a poem in Max. Manila folder apparently improvised by Asher and transcribed by rose. This is kind of a wild pong. it goes a Charlie Chaplin of a boy playing the wheelbarrow bump on xylophone Hill. A little pants leg kick halt and rest with shrug in his shoulder and he's off again with a shoe to the air a trip of the Barrow and the wheel skidding rolling and a hand on the handles to five-legged stand with a lift. SKIP TIP kick stand down along the wide grassy tight rope laying would chip past. ACT The door of the circus. Master's daughter it's like a December. So trippy is out Mac. And his mom were never close the way rose and Asher were and the divorce did make things easier than around. The time Mac was sixteen ecksteen Asher left for college in California and things with McEnroe's started to go downhill yet. Some point we all moved out of in the House I grew up and and my mom moved a couple of times with a hand. This year was living kind of with a handful of friends. Asha roommates me. I think she might have met them through her interest in Sufism but they'd all also like that it morphed into something else where they had this relationship with a Santa Fe based Psychic Who is kind of like their guru? Max says there were some positive things about the new living arrangement. His mom's roommates had kids of their own. They all play wiffle ball all in the backyard. Sometimes but those moments were fleeting. It was a strange place to live as a teenager. I remember it like a basement Matt Room. I just didn't really WANNA like go upstairs. And men go with mom and her friends remember being down there a lot part of of Max Resistance to hanging out upstairs head to do with roses dynamic with Sylvia the psychic would often say like talking to sell via the we kind of tree should do do X. buyers at least part of ashes closeness with rose seems like it had to do with a shared the openness to the idea of some sort of sense of destiny Asher used to write to rose about it in his letters home from college. She told me he he wrote you. Know often or at least more than once about This feeling of like that. He was going to die young. You could one. Don't make the connection that part wife was given this immediate like I said as Finley But as a teenager living in a houseful of seekers Mac had no patience for any of the stuff. I'd never met her remember. Umbrella never met psychic can even if I had she was cut him psychic not GonNa do it. She says one summer the tension engine that had been simmering for months between McEnroe's finally boiled over my mom and her psychic decided together that I should move from Baltimore Baltimore to live with my dad in Oakland And I was very not into that How old were you at the time? It must have been about sixteen because my response to that was to I always think of this in the context of how the Baltimore Colts Left Baltimore in the middle of the night. 'cause my version of that was leaving my mom's in the middle of the night having my friend and Rachel drive me in her. VW Bug Across town to Mount Washington to live with my hand I remember I think she. I remember like Rachel pulling into the driveway of her house and her coming outside. You know to to me actually. It must have been watching out the kitchen window. Sweet excellent now I think about it. Yeah coming out putting after after that. Things only got worse after I left and moved in with my aunt. Sylvia told my mom like she needed to Either bring me back to her house or her handcuff man. Get me on a plane toke cheese. Yeah did you. You ever talk to your mom about this like about. Did you guys ever have a conversation about like what the fuck are you talking about or and I said things like that I definitely like that's bullshit fuck that Conversation might be too grand. You know when I got word of what was happening. He flew home from California. They came back about Tamara largely to kind of make showers. Okay and take care of me. Manner and Him and he spent a year in Baltimore and got his own apartment out near school so he came back specifically to check check in on you. Yeah I mean I think he came back home hoping to be a kind of family ambassador. Ambassador of ashes. Intervention couldn't fix the problem in the end and he went back to California and eventually Mac moved out there to not to Oakland like Sylvia wanted but to la where Asher later joined him. Mack started taking acting classes Asher had written the screenplay with their cousin. Aaron called nuclear wasted a pulp dystopian SCIFI comedy. They wanted Mac to star. They were going to be an ashes. Words the New Cohen Brothers or some shit but then one night in nineteen ninety two. I remember a feeling feeling wobble in my gut physical hollowing out not aga closer to the opposite. Look I can't get enough air and in another section of that Gawker Essay. Mac writes about his brother's murder. The night it happened Ascher was out with Erin and Mac was driving home from a date with his girlfriend at the time. evangeline All I can say behind the wheel. I feel weird I fought it denied it. Look at this rat girl. The swollen moon through the sun roof moon roof. Uh shelvin the Tom Waits said. Forget the GUT MAC and evangeline made it back to the apartment but Max still felt strange. He decided sighted to smoke some weed. Maybe the pot could coat the peculiar wooziness still swirling my innards to negative stacked atop one another to reach a positive charge coach. Maybe but no the effect instead was cumulative and I was left with whittled wits unhappily stoned. We've played a sonic youth CD and sat on the bed and then tech attack attack attack went the firecrackers strange for the neighborhood. I thought mm-hmm strange for anywhere Iran. Shaky the window and poked a finger into the Venetians peeking peeking. The cheap detective the middle class squalor. What is it Evans? Voice wobbled across the room. I don't know I don't see anything Asher never came home that night and the next day. Mac woke up to an article in the paper Ver- about his brother's murder. It said that Asher and their cousin. Aaron had been looking for a parking space when someone ran up to the car and fired a shot through the window. Ascher was hit and when they tried to drive away they crashed into a parked car. Aaron managed to hail a cab and get Asher to the Er but it was too late. A police sketch of the gunman was eventually released. And for Awhile. It looked like the cops had enough forensic evidence from the crime scene to track down the shooter but but then months went by and then years at some point Mac realized they were never going to get a definitive answer about who killed Asher Max says he and his mom never really talked about Astra's murder some people might guess that it would sort of like bond us back back again but it didn't. I felt really really bad for her. But it didn't make me promise reinvest in the relationship I guess or her. See her more Yeah I mean it just at that. Point didn't feel like I felt like shoot a lot of what she was interested in. I did not understand and I felt like she couldn't possibly understand what I was interested in just like I couldn't really trust her. Her and I felt like she was like choosing these friends in this community. Essentially I feel like I kind of just gave up on the relationship or that like putting pulled away back and just and I couldn't count on her just have to figure out how to to make my way without her elsewhere in the gawker essay. Mac writes about what little he knows about. Rose's life in the aftermath dramatic ashes death for many of the ensuing years Mama's drifted from home to home coast to coast some years. She's left alone other times. She's found the community of friends to take her in. I don't know how many thousands of dollars she spent on quasi spiritual classes never recouped loans. It's to fellow seekers. Long distance calls to perceived mistakes. I don't think I want to know as Max life life. He moved back East and started a family of his own but in the essay he also writes about this sense. That Asher isn't really really gone. Once on across town bus I was absolutely convinced he was riding behind me. The same dark hair parted to fall over his right right I had he faked at all in order to what moved to New York couldn't be why family ghosts. We'll continue in a moment the before we move on. I WanNa take a moment to tell you about another podcast. I think you might enjoy and where you can hear my voice. It's called today in true crime birthdays. Anniversaries holidays these are the important dates. Most people tend to remember but the podcast network remembers important dates. It's in true. Crime History today in true crime is the new daily podcast from podcast. That takes you back to the most significant events in true crime. That happened that day in history. And and I'm happy to tell you that I am guest hosting an episode of the show on January twenty second. PODCAST has been a pioneer in the podcast space. And there hasn't Benedetto true crime show like this before so I'm excited for the opportunity to be a guest host on this episode but the show is consistently interesting and enlightening. And you check it out if you love true crime be sure to follow today in true crime now on spotify and don't forget to catch me as the guest host on the January twenty second episode of today in true crime before we move on. I WanNa take a moment to tell you about another podcast you might enjoy. It's called killer knowledge from podcast. If you're a fan of true crime crime and you want to put your skills to the test and be crowned and undisputed expert. Then you should definitely check out podcasts. New Trivia podcast killer knowledge and. It's all the mystery and suspense. You've come to expect from podcast now in a fast paced interactive format every Tuesday to competitors go head to head correctly answer multiple choice true crime questions. Whoever gained the most points after twenty questions wins each episode dives deep into a different shocking topic from history such as the Manson family Jimmy Hoffa and even the Jonestown massacre with each question and answer comes additional content surrounding the event enlightening even the most knowledgeable crime lover? You can play by yourself. Challenge your friends and prove your prowess by sharing your results with podcast on social media. You never know you might even find yourself in the hotseat one day. Follow killer knowledge free on spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and check checkout more podcast shows on spotify by searching for podcast in the spotify search bar or go to spotify dot com slash podcast spout yeah when I first read Max Gawker Essay. I was particularly moved by the sections where he writes about the years. Following Asher Steph. Right after it happened MAC and his cousin. Aaron the one who is in the car with Asher. The night of the murder moved to San Francisco. He started a band called. Cole changed the name to Postman. We performed at bars clubs with no windows. Aaron Played Guitar and wrote songs. I not really drink beer. Jim Beam and jumped around and shouted until my voice was a crook. The few shows Aaron and I drank so much barely stand. I didn't think about writing lyrics for about my brother. But every show was eulogy awake the Postman shows helped at first but eventually Mac realized he he had to try to find a way forward. He moved in with another cousin and Santa Cruz and started taking college courses but the clouds followed him down the coast at night. I drink too much and walk out the front door of our small white clapboard house. Before I reached the nearby health food store. I crossed the street and head for the STUCCO walls of the liquor store on the other side of Laurel Street. If it was late enough about one or so in the morning the streets would be empty and I'd be alone with the walls. I'd walk steady. Determined is on the pavement around around the square building dragging dragging my right hand across the STUCCO until my skin cracked open. Go for as long as I could take it and try for one more loop. The open open cut sliced wider on the raised fake stone. Thankfully Santa Cruz is also where Mac met his. Now wife Catherine they got married and moved back east to Brooklyn and had two daughters postman. Broke up but mack finished school got a job as an editor and little by little. The clouds started to dissipate. But by the time Max started working on that piece a few years ago he and rose his mom were in touch only sporadically. Mac writes about literally trying to find her in order to talk to her for the article. How she's drifted from spiritual community need a spiritual community giving unknown thousands of dollars to various self-proclaimed mystics and people Max suspects are charlatans and con artists when he finally tracked rose down he discovered that she enrolled as a student at a place describing itself as a mystery school? Its website describes its its purpose and all cultures throughout the ages mystery schools appear at times of extraordinary cultural societal and technological change tell ordinary men and women bridge the resulting chasm between the inner sacred an outer mundane life experience to me. It's all a mystery. It was hard for Mac to watch rose slip into the thrall of yet another spiritual guru who seemed to be exploiting his mother's trust But it also wasn't surprising still when she agreed to meet with Mac over lunch for the Gawker view he realized just how distant their lives had become. She suddenly seemed to be aging very quickly. A Half Ghost nibbling egg salad. She didn't appear capable of relating adding to the kids at one point with the girls and Catherine off browsing books. A mom and I talked about possible holiday presents for grandchildren. Do they like warm blankets Mama's as if she just fallen to earth an hour and a half later. Mom's friend picked her. It was like visiting a prisoner in jail of Marin mini mall a few years ago the mystery schools situation went from dubious. Too Dangerous Rose had ended up moving into the home of the founder of the school and according to Mac Vet Arrangement got toxic in a hurry. Rose couldn't afford to pay rent and she had developed Alzheimer's her mental state was deteriorating rapidly. At some point the school's founders sent Mac and email threatening to take rose to the emergency room and just leave her there. Fortunately some some of Rose's friends swooped in and found her room at a nearby assisted living facility and while MAC is of course grateful to them he's also haunted by the fact that he didn't go out to California and fixed the situation himself. He can't help feeling like Asher would have handled things differently. He had a real reelect Internal kind of code of loyalty about the family and In a way I didn't and and definitely some strong feelings about the family in a way I don't in the wake of the mystery school mess Mac agonized over what he should do. So it's a weird thing because Katherine my wife and I talked a lot about. Should we have mom move in here. You know and I just I could not see that and just could not not see how that would work at all. It seemed like a terrible terrible idea. So then what. The options are sort of their narrow from there. You know my mom's old and frail seeming and has no money so there's not a lot of great options at that point a younger version of Mac might have left it there but lately maxine feeling like he has to try to do something for rose for her sake and for ashes that day Mack wrote about in his essay when he thought he saw Asher on the bus he actually ended up following. The person he thought was Asher off the bus and down the street for several blocks he walked eastern. I followed I began to. I think that incredibly was my brother. Science was against it but still the same pigeon toed Strut. I followed him from half a block. Distance Finally Maybe Asha bounced up a short flight of Brown's downstairs and entered a midtown belting froze chase was ever but was it even a chase at all can be a chase. If you don't know what you're after leader in the peace Max starts to realize what he's chasing. Every few weeks has me hard. I wish there for mom in ways. I cannot be I asked Mac what he meant by that. If my brother is alive life with her for walks A few weeks later as we finished going through those documents Max dining room table. He told me that his family was getting ready to leave for their summer vacation. So we're talking on the day that you're headed out to California China Have you decided yet whether you're going to go see her. Yeah I'm definitely going to see her. Our story continues after the break Goes family thank you so much for listening to our show and being part of what we do today. I need to ask for your help. This is something that will only take five minutes of your time. Please go to spoke media dot io Jio slash survey and tell us a little bit about yourself. It really helps us find advertisers which helps keep this show and your podcast feed. That's spoken media dot io slash survey and thank you boom mhm media one of the things. That was hardest for MC doc about that conversation. He had with his mom when he was working on. The gawker piece about Asher was the realization. That rose was starting to slip away to seem to happen happen so fast even though and there was a decades between when my brother died when my dad died ed and and and my mom was condition deteriorated like I was all happened over many many years but just oddly feels very sudden it made Mac realized that eventually no one especially not ascher was is going to be there to make things easier at some point. I remember thinking it was just there wasn't anyone to call. And so as he set off for California with his family this past summer MAC realized there wasn't much time left with rose and no way way to make up for all the time they'd lost on top of that with Roses Alzheimer's and a pretty advanced state. The prospects for any sort of meaningful conversation. They weren't good. Yeah I mean Unless there's been like scientific miracle Ercole between now and then when I see here this coming weekend Yeah there won't be. I mean I'll be lucky to doc. Hello in spite of everything Mac and his daughter. ONA got on a plane and went to visit rose. Hey can you hear me okay. Yeah can you hear me okay. Yeah Yeah you're you're fading in and out a little bit but I think I got you met called me a few minutes after he an left the hospital l.. Where roses living now? He said that he'd been hoping to bring his mom some flowers but they couldn't find a florist so he brought her a little almond cake from a coffee shop when they arrived. They made their way to rose's room. It was a small colds clinical environment. Max says a dresser and a lamp not much else Rosa's bed faces a wall so when she's been dead looking out she would do this wall. And really the only thing the Laura so does in cash and then the girls and rhythms because just like lost in mackinaw ooh got rose into a wheelchair and they took her out into the garden behind the hospital. They all sat quietly for a bit. It was nice out there. I cool but not freezing San Francisco summer morning and the Gardens Green and it's nice. It's simple nice after a while. MAC UNWRAPPED Almond Tart. They brought from the coffee shop and offered a piece to rose. She kept. I'm trying like pointing at it. Like she wanted more and so break off pieces as Mac told me about his visit with his mom. I kept thinking about that thing. He said how. If Asha were alive he would have been the one to visit rose and spend in time with her. He'd be trying to make our life better in some small way. I guess it's too late for them to talk about Asher or whatever Everett was that happened that summer with Sylvia Psychic as Mac expected rose hadn't even been able to say hello when they arrived or much of anything really Afternoon in the garden she did manage to find a few words. He wasn't expecting drink. Yeah good and so. They sat together for a while sharing the almond piece by piece Air and she wanted more fat Family ghosts hosts is hosted and produced by me salmon with Vera carruthers. Serreyah Shockley. Sally Helm motelier- Rubin Jenna Hannam and John Kastner. Our story editor is Michaela Blind. Our production assistant is Julia Press. This episode was mixed by Evan Arnett. Our theme music is by Louis. Gara- executive creative producers for season. Three are myself along with Keith. Reynolds Elliott Tavakoli Ian at spoke media special. Thanks as always to the kindred spirits our supporters on patriots who helped make our work possible in addition to add free episodes and exclusive bonus content kindred spirits have already heard this episode. They they get to listen to everything we make before anyone else and this week. They're getting a special bonus episode where Mac reads the entirety of the gawker piece about his brother. That you heard some excerpts from in this story. It's a beautiful piece of writing. It was actually nominated for a National Magazine Award. If you'd like to hear that along with the special extras that accompany all of our episodes. Please consider becoming a member of the kindred spirits. It's just five dollars a month and you can join at Patriotair Dot com slash. Rush family ghosts. We are proud. Creative partners of spoke media find more great podcasts at spoke media dot. Io Season Three continues next next week. We'll talk to you then and thank you for listening to family goes where every house is haunted The next time on on family ghosts Jim. O'Grady takes fateful to Fort Davis Texas. If you happen to grow up in a small town with only one stop light. That is a hundred percent more. Stop Lights Than Fort Davis Texas. If this place ever had a heyday it it is over. Jim Spends a complicated vacation with his mother-in-law Ruby Bell a woman who viewed everyday life through a veil L. of Gothic horror. Ruby Bell believes in the spirit world. It's like a country club. She belongs to and visits regularly regularly. But Chen doesn't and then I say to Ruby Bell what I can't believe how some the people squander their curiosity on the s Lang signs of the paranormal on our next episode Jim and Rubio take a fateful trip into the desert. We hit something in the road ruby. stomps the brakes spins the wheel. TURNS AROUND DRIVES BACK STOPS OPS. And they're in. The headlights is a culture. That's next week. When season three a family ghosts continues You're listening to WWL T.. Aw Homemade Radio Ghost family thank you so much for listening to our show and being a part of what we do today. I need to ask for your help. This is something that will only take five minutes of your time. Please go to spoke media dot io slash survey and. Tell us a little bit about yourself. It really helps us find advertisers. which helps us keep this show and your podcast feed? That's spoke media dot co slash survey. And thank you

Mac Asher Asher Max Rose Mac Gawker Mack Baltimore California baseball Aaron Mac murder Catherine San Francisco W. A. L. T Tom Waits Cape Cod
Heart Rate Training with Giff Walters

Seek Outside Podcast

45:29 min | 4 months ago

Heart Rate Training with Giff Walters

"Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the outside podcast. My name is Dennis today. We will be recording in the park across from my house. This'll be our first in-person podcast with actual podcast equipment, so you might notice a slight bump in audio quality today we are joined by gift walters a running coach, and a friend of mine, who I worked with a few years ago to get in shape for September cut. It was the fittest. I've ever felt and I continue to incorporate his coaching in my preparation for each fall, I wanted to get gift on the podcast to talk about training in more specifically heart rate training. You can find more. About Gif at COACHING DOT COM. That's our N., N. A. N., coaching, dot, com, or you can track them down on instagram. At GIF. Walters, that's G. I. F.. W. A. L. T. e.. R. S. on Instagram I. Hope You enjoyed our conversation today. Walters were non running or coach, our non running. Hey, it's going really good. Thanks for having me on the PODCAST Dennis. To recently you were down climbing mountains. can you tell tell me a little bit about so it's is called. The needles traverse is. Officially what it's called Yeah I don't really it hasn't been done yet so i. don't have a name for. The idea that I dreamed up along with rob. His a climber and a person I teach with. Is Down in the women each wilderness in the San Juans there's a bunch of thirteen years, and they ran out of good mountain name, so they just named peak one two three all the way through peak eighteen. So. There's eighteen of them. And most of them you can't access on trails off trail travel above twelve thousand feet. Some of them are technical Dad just looks like. Not necessarily natural line, but they're nicely grouped and clustered. Some of them are on the same ridge line so needles. Eighteen project might be my working title. Okay, okay, in in. Your trying to climb all kind of in one shot. Yeah, so it'd be unsupported. There's no good way to get resupplied. She got to carry everything in. Carry it out. And in when people think you know you hear it all the time we're going to a wilderness area in its twenty miles, one way, or it's you know or fifteen miles deep It's not super doable on a lot of places, but but this part of the women's March is doable. Right like it's. It's ten fifty mile. Just approach, maybe even maybe even a longer approach in. It's also fairly famous of an area that you can get on a train. At. Certain Times of the year in the training will drop you off. In, the middle of it or Kinda halfway through or whatnot, so you can access some of the fourteen years pretty pretty common for people to use it. Use the train as an access to this wilderness area. It's like true wilderness. It's deep yet for sure the minute you drop like over one of the ridges beyond the Chicago based on where the fourteen is are. You're not gonNA see people. Yeah, yeah, it's it's deep. It's out there. Cool spot in the world for sure. In a little bit of a Hiccup this time I know rob and not thrown under the bus. Rob had a little bit altitude sickness going on I gotta a couple of pictures of them. Hold up in a SILEX Hanging out. Trying to rest it up and and not So I? Wanted to get into a little bit about kind of training or prepping for something like that you know in in Kinda how would pertain to man if you wanted to hunt that part of the world right where the approaches you know, maybe fifteen twenty miles in right for for some people You know what kind of training would would look like you know for somebody trying to do that. Yeah for sure I think that's a great question. So I. Think when you're looking to train for anything. Specificity and being specific as possible ideal, so if you have the luxury of just going out on super long hikes and hunting all year long and outgoing shed hunting in the offseason. Spending time out there doing exactly what you're GONNA do. That would be the best thing for most people. That's not a reality. You can't meet other commitments in life and spend all day just playing in the woods. Sure Yeah Yeah, because because it is different September I'M GONNA spend. All Day in the woods a borough in a backpack around doing that I! Don't really do that outside of September right like. It's hard to figure that stuff out so. I mean that makes sense to me I can't. If I could hike fifteen miles a day. Man. That'd be Great Dad. And so I. Think the next best thing. Is Running. Or some other sort of cardiovascular training where you're getting. Similar effort to what you're. GonNa, be doing. And as similar as possible better. And then also maintaining strength so making you're strong enough to carry whatever pack you're gonNA. Have wire out there. But even running itself is a load bearing activity, so it's going to maintain and build a lot of that. I think the trick for a lot of people. Is. They see running as this really hard brutal thing like you just got a got through it. And it's because most people are running too hard most or all of the time, okay? Yeah and so are you biased a little bit because you're a running coach? is like towards the running. Could you you kind of touched on a little bit? You still have the same impact for similar impact forces I guess when you're running. Versus if I trained all year on a bike in then wouldn't carry a backpack for fifteen miles. They don't. They don't Mesh well or as well as maybe running would yeah for sure. I think running's the Best Bang for your buck in that. Gets a bad rap for destroying knees, but really. Done well at the right effort, and with good form it should make your knees stronger to really reinforce those joints and help with stability. BIKING's great. It just takes more time. Hiking's good. It takes even more time and then the minute you get on a machine in the gym. You're just losing all those little stabiliser muscles and reacting to the landscape. so yeah, ellipticals are good. But, they just work you in one very specific motion pattern got got it. Touch on a to a little bit People are running to. Right and what does that mean to you as a coach? You know as a running coach. Yeah. You can put a lot of numbers and stats. Part rate power all kinds of stuff. physiologically very. There is some benefit of running hard. But it takes so much to recover. That most people are grinding themselves down rather building themselves up. So you lift something heavy, or you go for a run. Your body takes some time to recover, and then it comes back stronger and more prepared. You're limited. If you're running too hard, you're limited to how much you can run and how frequently? And a lot of people are running too much or too frequently. Too Hard. And so you might see games for a couple of weeks on feeling good. I'm feeling better. I'm getting faster. And you hit a plateau and you just start feeling Kinda like crap, and it's hard to get out the door. Okay? And what you know like in full disclosure for everybody to like I have worked with Gif in the past, and we would talk about the black hole right when I was training we talk about the black hole, and you don't ever want to be in the black hole and and I remember going out those first couple have probably not the first couple probably a month, plus or so we would get in internal running's a little bit different because you have hills and rocks and obstacles and stuff bit how we get out on the trails in. We had certain heart rate zones that I was looking for. Monitoring those with heart rate strap on a in a watch but man. If my heart rate anywhere close to a certain level I would have to start walking. Imagine I was walking all I was walking way more than I was running for sure when I first started. In in trying to stay out of that black hole where? I think in previously if if I had gone for a running and I, still do it now. We're all go for a run. If I'm not paying attention, I'll get into that black hole. Right and I'll stay there and I'll run, and it'll be like if you I'm trying real hard today like this is great But the kind of bring it back full circle like. Walking in really paying attention to that heart rate those zones. One after a month month and a half or so I got. Way Faster I was running more things at a lower heart rate in all of those sets I. Think! That's very important for people to understand like that black hole kind of where that is in their life. You know or whether they're running or they're training I. Guess Data for sure and like to put a name on it. It's that. Aerobic versus ANAEROBIC and there's very complex different energy systems. Your body's actually recruiting to do that. And, you can manage to keep it easy and aerobic. You'RE GONNA use fat as fuel source. And you can just run more duration more volume like more miles and continue to feel better and improve over time. Again for people listening to try to put a number on. That may mean like nine minute miles. Or ten minute miles for. You know For a few weeks or months or or whatnot, and just really paying attention to that, when when maybe you're used to run seven minute miles right like you're backing off a lot to get out to get back into that kind of aerobic zone In again walking I, spent a lot of time. Walking was supposed to be going for runs. Yeah, especially, if you're trail running like you're going to walk the hills. And it's like if you want some now like you can hop on a treadmill and set it to fifteen percent grade. And then play around. Look at like your heart rate. and run it at like a certain speed and then walk it at a certain speed. And you'll find this point where it definitely becomes more efficient and easier on your body to just walk it. Even at the same speed. Is there a way for people to check that without a heart rate monitor? You know without I. Mean you know besides trying to put their hands on their wrists? In count, those numbers out in their head has has the running. Yeah, for sure, that's a great question. So the Golden Standard is just the talk test, and if you're out on a run, or if you're hiking with a heavy pack, like Arun my working too hard. If you can comfortably carry on a conversation. Like maybe not as comfortable as we're talking right now. Sure, but we still chat then you're good. If you're like no I, couldn't. I would need to slow down or catch my breath. Then you're beyond that. You're out of that aerobic zone. Okay and I know one of the one of the examples that you had given me in I've definitely done on the trail. Anybody's seen me. You know this is. This is what I'm doing. is you can say the pledge of allegiance right? You can say especially running alone right? It's hard to have a conversation unless you really enjoy talking to yourself but you can say the pledge of allegiance out loud if you struggle if you're struggling or. Thinking to yourself like Oh like having to take big breaths in between words and stuff. You're probably trying too hard, right? You're probably go into harder Yeah, you're you're just trying to go too fast or too much maybe up that hill or or or whatnot, and that's not to say that you don't WanNa do that sometimes. For sure so if I'm working with running client and we're looking to really maximize in Pique their performance in running. will spend eighty percent of our time roughly. In that super easy zone. Comfortable, you can talk your high. You're hiking up the hills and then twenty percent will be very specific. I want you to work this hard for this long with this much rest. And you can look up. Any training. Plan will have whatever they call repeats. Intervals tempos. That sort of stuff. And there's definitely a place for that in terms of maximizing your performance. But most people hang out there like the sexy workouts. High Mile Repeats. But the magic is just inconsistent. Easy mileage Yeah, and sometimes you don't once you kind of get used to that or when you find those zones read that easy. Those aerobic more aerobic diseases zones You, sometimes she'll. You're not working. You know they you really don't feel like you're doing a whole lot. your heart rate's maybe not as elevated as You know enough to make you just run sweat off to your body. But given the time. It's very very beneficial very beneficial. I remember a couple years ago. you and I were a training pretty hard, and I went into September. man I could do I was going in and out of areas. You know six seven miles deep here in the mountains in the eminent was nothing you know I was so used to be in that zone. Trekking Poles were another big benefit in their coming from Canada running into the speed, walking I guess but I could cover ground like nobody's business. You know it was. I could see it Tran. Go into hunting into that hunting kind of entire September. Was, I was on a whole `nother level, and I could just feel it everyday refreshed. And was going going further deeper. It didn't matter like over that hill shirt by now. Let's go check it out. You know I wasn't running over the hill, but you know I could get there, so yeah, it's. Super Important for people If you're planning, you know coming out west. If you want to mountains that kind of thing where you do have to go, you know. Maybe six miles deep Maybe ten miles deep to really. Think about that aerobic training that you're doing that. You don't necessarily have to push it that hard all the time for definitely yeah, and I think. For coming out West especially. If you're coming from somewhere, that isn't at altitude. One of the best ways to guard against feeling the effects of altitude in the mountains here. is to have a really good aerobic base of training. Maximizing how your body processes and uses the oxygen that it has available can really help and offset the chances of having really bad mountain sickness. When you, I would imagine. Maybe this isn't true, but you might have clients read that. Don't live at altitude, but maybe WANNA. Do A race right? They WANNA do to leadville one hundred in the LEADVILLE. One hundred folks in in you know more than I do is in Leadville Colorado It's super high like twelve thousand thirteen thousand feet. Yes, you go over hope. Pass over twelve thousand, but the course never drops below ten thousand. Never okay, so you're just Alpi the entire time. Yeah, and people can start experiencing Cana that acute martin. Or acute altitude acute mountain sickness. At about eight thousand feet, so if you're running above ten thousand feet like there's a good chance Do you have any acclamation strategies for for people like that? Yeah, there's two schools of thought actually have a friend that works in the. Physiology lab over at western state and. There's still a lot of science going into it. It can affect. People vary individually in weird ways, but there's two schools at that. Either you fully commit to letting your body adjust. And ideally of three extra week, and you just come up and you hang out and you do a Lotta easy hiking an easy running and just let your body build the extra red blood cells so that it can process it. or You just straight up. Trick your body. You come up and you have like three days. Your body really knows what's happening to it. And like you just go straight into the things you've got hunt. You fly in that morning and you start hiking that afternoon or evening. You're out there. It might not feel great. But there's kind of this inbetween phase after like a week or two where you're just feeling like crap and your performance really does take a dip before you adjust really start thriving up there So I'd ideally. If you were coming out for? Ten days right at ten to eight hunt ideal you would try to. Try to get your early. If you could write. Most people can't do that, so you Kinda. You almost have to trick your body into thinking. Everything's Fine Yeah In by doing that, you mean like deep. As quickly as possible I'm not as going deep dislike doing the thing. You'RE GONNA do like it to say like if you're GONNA. Climb a fourteen year coming from sea level. If. You come up and dislike dilly dally in Denver for a while where you're at decent altitude and then go up. It's not gonna be any better than just going straight up. To it, Got It It's interesting because it does affect. People just kind of randomly right. You can be in good shape. Instill get at eight thousand feet and feel terrible. Yeah, And I think hydration may be factors in there may be a little bit is will. Dafur I. Just anything you can do to take care of your body to not stress it. Does that altitude stressors? Blair. The better you're going to be so sleep well. Try to get sleep. Yeah? Is there anything to that to sleeping high Because, we're in Colorado. You can pretty much drive i. mean if you want to drive up to the top of pikes peak. You could totally do that right you get drive the fourteen thousand feet. In maybe sleeping your car or something like. Is there benefit to that to the sleeping at altitude you know? I guess not having to work right to get to fourteen thousand feet, but you like drive up there like take a nap. Or something yeah, no, there's definitely. There's like three main modes. If you're looking at and their artificial altitude, ten companies that people can spend a lot of money on and do this if you live at sea level. The main benefit from altitude is spending a lot of time there, so sleep is like this easy time where you can just bank a lot of altitude hours. You can train high Ansley, Pie But your training's going to be affected a bit because it's harder, you're not gonna be able to go as hard. You're gonNA feel like crap for a little bit. Then there's the idea where you just train high and sleep blows. You sleep really really well. You're still stressing your body with altitude, which is what like most lawyers Colorado are doing sleeping low then maybe they're training up high during the day or the weekends. And, then there's the flip of that where you sleep high and train low, which realistically for most people only works. If live on a plateau, and like go down to train. People in Flagstaff that live at seven thousand and go down to the desert train at like two or three or a lot of like pro runners in Mill Valley. California They'll set up a hypoxia altitude tent working at during the day. And then they'll leave their little altitude chamber and go run superfast at sea level, and then they'll sleep in their altitude chamber, so it's like they're living high. And the jury's out on like which one's the best so all of them are going to help. You adapt at some point. And just thinking about. At least in running lands right before an event. Should I be running really fast and fresh. Or is it still worth it to go out to? Interesting to where you're saying, is I. Need to get one of those crazy plastic chamber said we get the hang out in all day, or you could just get really fit by doing easy aerobic work Dot spent like ten grand. Yeah Yeah Yeah If. In there they make the tents to read that you can sleep in I wonder if anybody if there's anybody out there, that's tried that for hunting. I would be very interested in you. Know for for people coming from low elevation in trying to hunt at Heil avation. Maybe even she punts. Going to spend some time especially here in Colorado up there above twelve thousand thirteen thousand feet for significant amounts of time You know if that would be worse. It right Obviously, we're not buying a ten thousand dollars ten to hang out in but but it would be interesting. Yeah, yeah, if you could spend three four weeks in that ahead of time. Feel pretty good going in. Primarily high altitude mountaineers that are using it. But with really good success. Interesting. Let's can commit dive into maybe a little bit for folks, so they can in. We can use use me as an example or yourself as an example of something in talk. Maybe like specific numbers. You know for people. You know there's this kind of saying out there, right? My heart rate is or Max. Reiter would not. To twenty minus my age right for me. I just had a birthday, so I wanNA feel old or anything but that'd be like. Somewhere around. One, eighty, six or something somewhere around those lines. Does that. Does that make sense in the world where you're actually tracking your heart rate? That's a great question so. Unfortunately, humans are way more complex and unique so. That equation is a rough approximate. But in my experience working with people. It can be off by as much as twenty to forty beats per minute. So, depending on your body size and your heart size, and just all of your geology, it can be all over the place. There's like a thousand different. Equations out there every. Exercise researchers come up with. I think one of the easiest ways to do it. Is, to. Try and tie where that talk test points for you to a heart rate number. And just getting that one point like. Where does it go from being aerobic? To anaerobic. In just knowing where that number is got it to. Like if I didn't have a heart rate monitor, but I had access to a gym. They have like the little groupies right on on the treadmill or something. would that help with that? Give me an idea. Yeah, so? There's a ton of ways to measure it to like the grips. Everybody like fitbit's and garments and. Wear ables. The issue at least with the watch ones. It's very fit dependent on how it actually mold to your wrist so. Take those with a grain of salt, okay, and those are going to be like the the watches sensors in. The Autumn Oh heart rate. Little obstacles so chess, drop or an arm strap are usually much more reliable. But it's really like you're looking for this. BALLPARK number. Temperature hydration sleep. Everything can like. Tweak your heart rate a little bit. So you don't WanNa. Just. Have this hard that I have to be at one forty nine or else. But just going out. Hop on a treadmill start super-duper easy? Speed it up like a half mile an hour every two to three minutes. Do the talk test. Each time can carry on a conversation. Say the pledge of allegiance and just kind of find that point where. Who It's Kinda hard. Whom really struggling? I can't actually carry on the conversation. Where's your heart that? and. That's the number that you wanna be below most of the time eighty two, maybe one hundred percent of the time, okay? Okay so this is like the speed of the treadmill or like the Geezer Away De. Like give you. Can you walk destined instead a run it like? Can I put it? Put it at an incline and just walk up a hill until I get to those points other ways to kind of. Mix that up. Yes, yeah, so it could be. You can do it on a bike. You can do it running. Whatever training method you're GONNA do. oftentimes, if you're already in pretty good shape, it can be hard to get there just hiking necessarily. Be You could like set the treadmill if it goes up to fifteen or more, if you one of the super incline trainers that goes to forty percent I. Yeah, you could definitely get there, so that's great you just want to. Increase it slowly and then give yourself enough time that your body kind of adjusts to that workload. If, you just wait thirty seconds. Your body's not GonNa know what happens and actually takes your. There's some heart rate lag, so it takes your heart rate awhile to catch up and kind of figure it out. That like if you just go sprint up a hill. I can get away with it for thirty seconds, and then your body's like Oh, by Gosh. What are we doing and all of your systems kind of kick in and catch up? Okay, so You had mentioned like one forty nine. You know in I'm just trying to try to be a little specific for people. I feel like when I was doing it. That was a number that was pretty close. anyways was one forty nine, and so any runs that I would go on You know we'll be wearing a chest strap. along those lines chest rapper RESP- Ace kinda monitor Mo-, most of the time chester up. Just because they are way more accurate in that could kind of feel more comfortable with those numbers. But I would always try right to be under under that. Is there a point at which like I'm too far under. Not Not in the same sense that you're worried about going over it. There is like. The closer you are to that number. The. MORE AEROBIC Games we're. Going to get. So if you're really just doing purely aerobic stuff. You can get close to that number as you want. But even if you just go for like. A two our dog walk in. It's super chill in your heart. Rate's like below one hundred. They're still aerobic benefit to just get in that bulk time on your feet. With an S. slightly elevated heart rate got it, but I get way more bang for my buck, if I can get close to one forty nine. Yeah, ever really go over one four eight nine, so say you got like four hours to train during the week. That's what your schedule allows. If. You spend four hours like right in like the one forties. Versus four hours in the one thirties. You'RE GONNA see aerobic development more quickly. got. Kind of treading that fine line sure. Got It. Yeah, you WanNa stay in the. If you go over that kind of going back to our kind of black hole, conversation if you if if say my discover that it's one forty nine. Right is my number that I. don't really want to go over anytime. You go over that number. You're in that quote kind of black hole. That kind of place for it feels like you're working really hard. It feels as if you're doing your body some good But most of the time you're just stuck there in. You're not making a lot of progress ray. You're in one year. You're running the heart rate of one fifty four in the new. Just kinda there forever, and it feels terrible. Yeah doesn't feel fun and then it's really hard. You know days You know if you're trying to run or train every day, It's really hard to motivate yourself to go back to. A hurry to one fifty four. Versus when you're running, maybe everyday with a heart rate of one forty five, you know in just change in that ten beats in honestly people sounds crazy. but I've done it. Right it it. It works so well. You know yeah, then super impressed. With that heart rate. KINDA, strategy! There is a black hole, but then there's also something above the black hole correct. Yeah, so if you break it down into running training zones. At a certain point in your training it's okay to spend a bit of time in the black hole, but usually it's GonNa be. Five minute sets or maybe like a twenty minute push and I refer to him. Temple runs. There's a bunch of other names you can idea. But. We're really working on that lactate threshold. You're training your ability to tolerate that and a process. Lactic byproduct in your system. Then beyond that. You might be going. Like really hard again eight out of ten on an effort scale for between. Two and five minutes. Now it'd be interval training targeting sort of your view to Max. The idea of the analogy like is. Trying to increase like from a visa to a V. Eight engines like just how much pure oxygen uptake you can train your body to us. There's definitely a place for that. And then beyond that is just fade. Running or biking is just pure speed so going super fast so anything two minutes. Maybe it's. Twenty second thirty second one minute repeats. On attract I might be a two hundred, four hundred eight hundred kinds of stuff, and that's great for super specific running muscle recruitment. Neurological dislike processing. And Training your body to go fast. If you're just GONNA hump a huge pack and like carrying animal out of the woods. There's not necessarily a lot of benefit out of that. I'd take that time in that energy. Go to the gym work on your weaknesses. Really just make sure you're a well rounded strong human. And then focus on that purely aerobic stuff most of the time. IN JUST WANNA! Bring it back to you like we were saying. Hiking if you could just carry a pack and go for a hike, it's probably the best thing you can do right yet. Because that is ultimately what we're trying to do in September October November. Even were just. We're trying to go for a long hikes with pack on at elevation sometimes, maybe not. Just That's what we're trying to do. Now the reason why I really Wanna about the heart rate stuff in the running side of things is that. We don't have all that time. to do I don't have time to hike ten hours a day. As much as I would like to So. I can I can get close to that right in an improving my aerobic base by spending way less time. Closer. To that. You know black. I like black hole. It makes me think that. I never want to be there and it does definitely suck you But the more time or the you know I can spend some time closer to that black hole. In them talking maybe a half hour day, right is GonNa do more for me. More closer to spending ten hours a day hiking. Does that make sense. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Yeah, I just want to. Get that across everybody that that's kind of what I was thinking Kumon what type of what type of strength Steph I know there's A. a little bit of a warm up that we used to do. you know for people that were running or hiking for that matter I think it makes a lot of sense. But like what kind of strength steph would people be. You know a you know a couple things anyways that you would recommend for people. Yeah, that's a great question As we're doing right now. We're sitting down and a lot of us spent a lot of our time sitting down and as a result. There are a lot of muscles that we just don't use very often and in running. Primarily the gluten so getting your, but to actually fire and engage. So oftentimes before run. The super simple classic. Warm up where you just do a series of lunges. And? She'll do forward line ges. They'll do sideline ges. Reverse lunges and like lines with. Torso twist. And it is really helps. Wake up those muscles, and it forces you to engage that glued in use those muscles. So then you carry that fresh reminder and priming into your run. And, then you can also do some leg swings just to loosen things up. Get your hips really nice and open so like grab a tree or pole do some forward and back legs, wings, and then some side to side leg swings. And then. Easy like you're ready to go. And then I always recommend just easing into the run. Like the transition from not running to running. Is a stressful transition for your body so. Really like even if it's an easy run. Warm up into it. Take five ten minutes to just Kinda let your body like okay. We're running now. Surely like, let let everything wake up to the idea that. We're trying hard now. We're not sitting yeah more. We're done sitting for at least the half hour or so and I. Think that part is very important to. Those. Simple lunges in the leg. The the lake swings man that makes such a difference in my day I really credited. Those types of things with letting me run every day. you know Just it it does that like I get up. Maybe maybe I get up I have a two year old now likes waking up. Release were pretty early We'll go for runs. I push her in her stroller, but Just like coming from waking up, maybe run around the house, a little bit, and then doing those simple lunges in those leg swings. Again, like you said like. Those muscles firing. in places that maybe I haven't used yet today. in allow me to than you know. Run at it at a decent pace. You know definitely blow my. Like trying to stay out of that black hole But made me feel good to do it again the next day right and and actually really take the edge off of that first five minutes of running I noticed that all the time in if I if for whatever reason I forget, which seems weird that you would forget to do your warm up, but I do sometimes I'll just start running and mike away didn't do that. Let's. Go back. Let's go back. Start over start over the reset button In the end it might take five minutes like those kind of those lunches and stuff maybe take five minutes but really I mean I notice it in in. Maybe it's in my head, too. I feel like I'm faster when I do those little Little warm ups and stuff, said Yeah. I think that's Uber Important. Well I'll try to put some links out there for people to that can kind of see what we're talking about. in those just so simple. Simple lunges in that lake swings and stuff, so no I think that's important. Is there anything like in the gym? Or laying in the house. Like do you use a foam roller? Do do stuff like that. Yeah I'm a huge fan. For runners, they're just classically kind of posed to strength training in general, so most of the stuff that I design and prescribe is. Low equipment heavy mostly bodyweight. Lot of just core and hip pelvis work. Those are main areas that Reuters a weekend. And then I do I'm a huge fan of rolling out. Doing a lot of mobility staff Kelly stare at supple leopard style stuff if people are familiar. I think Kevin just sent me a link to that the other day. Actually couple Leopard that make that rings a bell will ask Kevin Kevin is in here. If you haven't noticed it either Yeah so. Almost more as a tool of just self-awareness to really kind of feel like oh! Spots Kinda weird like what's going on over there. And itself massage you look at the research on recovery. There's probably nothing physiologically happening with massage my facial release. Is there is really a thing. But it feels good, and if you think it works, it makes you feel good than it works. So. Going in, and just like hammering your it band over and over, and it hurts so bad. It hurts like. Maybe isn't actually doing much for you. In you're talking about maybe. Like a big foam roller in your just rolling your it and out. which if you haven't done? It is not the most fun thing in the world. It's horrible. The it ban is. It's basically just like an indestructible section of fiber in your body. And really if you're having issues, it's probably a tight. Gluten me like. Glued or group mad somewhere up in the hip where it actually connects, that's tight, which is pulling it tight making your knee cranky or the it inflamed itself. So yeah, foam is not always super pleasant, but often the feeling afterwards. If you release, it is super satisfying pleasant for people, so it's something to experiment with. Okay For sure. But I think. Doing a dynamic warm up. Running easy. Is probably more beneficial for your time. Kumon I don't know how long been hanging out here, but anything else We WanNa talk about as far as training for people You know anything you wanted to touch on or. I think the biggest thing is just. Trying to have fun with it I think people often get so wrapped up in certain numbers or mileage you're. Like Be Kind to yourself. Follow Fun like if you're feeling motivated to do something else that day. That's not necessarily on your training plan like awesome. Go for it follow that fun might be playful with it. Because that long term commitment. is where the Games are. Doing! One hard work out of the really didn't want to. On one day. That then Burns you out for a whole week. Is GonNa do more damage than just skip that entirely and went for dog walking in like kept up with everything going forward so I think just. Keep it fun. Keep it light. and. long-term consistency is the magic really happens. Yeah, you had you had told the story. I think before we were recording You kind of brought up the Kenyans in ten years I'm GONNA put your. Second, but that's sometimes. That's not what people like to hear it. As it's GONNA, take ten years to create an aerobic base or or whatnot, but putting that consistent low low grade work. IS GONNA pay off. In the long term right and you had mentioned a story about the Kenyan runners. Yeah, it's it's huge and we live in an era where everybody wants like now. If I just eat one superfood that I'm healthy if i. just do this one new crazy move at the gym like I'll get Jack. Shoulders. What like? And none of none of that's going to work. It's just about that long term consistency so Kenyans have this concept of building your house and really just refers to. Kind of setting the foundation for athletics. And does idea the up to spend ten years building your aerobic engine. Before you can really see like what that potential is. And one of the reasons. People, going steady it all the time. You're like wire Kenyan so amazing running one of the reasons that. Is Been posited? Is that most of them run to school, so they're running my maybe ten to twelve miles a day five to six days a week. with, books, in their arms. But they're little kids like they're not running super hard. They don't WanNa be sweaty when they show up. They don't WanNa be worked when they get there, so they're running easy as their mode of transportation and they're logging sixty mile weeks. Super Easy for ten years. Fifteen years. And then they might actually start their formal training like okay now I'm going to start mile. Training or I'm going to go for the fifteen hundred meter. And Yeah. It's no wonder like way more Kenyans or running into sub four miles year, then American highschoolers. They've just put in that. Non Sexy easier aerobic time to get ready yeah. Cool will I think we'll leave? Everybody was out. Go Go Build Your House. As were in stay out of that black hole, so thanksgiving. Thanks for doing this yet. Thanks. Hey everyone real. Quick before you go I just wanted to say. Thanks for listening and if you've been enjoying our conversations, please leave us review on Apple podcast. Also. If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please email podcasts at seek outside dot com. Thanks and have a great day.

Hiking W. A. L. T. Chicago Walters rob Dennis San Juans N. A. N. R. S. LEADVILLE pikes peak Denver Colorado California fitbit ANAEROBIC chester
Parenting Teenage Boys w Joshua Wayne

ON BOYS Podcast

47:04 min | 3 months ago

Parenting Teenage Boys w Joshua Wayne

"This is on boys parenting podcast. We are your co host, Jennifer L. W. think mom of four boys and I'm Janet Alison teacher of many more. Thanks for joining us as we share real talk about parenting teaching and reaching tomorrow's men. Do you worry about the quality of your boys Diet I do my third son Adam stopped drinking milk when he was to. We learned later that he's lactose intolerant and for years even now his primary food group is popcorn. I worry about his nutritional intake and I thought about giving him vitamins but I was not thrilled with what I saw out there. So many vitamins for kids are filled with sugar and unhealthy chemicals and they're based on out of date nutritional guidelines from the nineteen eighties. I wish Haya, vitamins had been around that. We recently got some samples of Haya and these are different. They are made from a blend of twelve farm, fresh organic fruits and Veggies, and they don't contain any of the sugar and gumy junk that your kids don't need. My Adam is now seventeen. So he's a little old virtual vitamins. I gave him some anyway and he gives high out a thumbs up. I'm so glad that they tested them. We did too 'cause. We're not going to promote anything that we haven't tried and we've worked out an exclusive with high a health four these bestselling children's vitamins. This is just for you our on boys podcast listeners receive fifty percent off your first order soda claim this deal you must go to Haya health dot com slash on boys, and that is H. I. Y. A. H. E. A. L. T. H. dot com slash on boys. Received fifty percent off your first order. Just. Go to high a health dot com slash on boys and get your kids. The full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. That is Haya health dot COM H. I. Y. A. H. E. A. L. T. H. dot com slash on boys, and that full discount will be applied at checkout and let us know how your kids like their new vitamins. s parents. We often wish we just had someone in our corner to coach chest to teach us to cheer us and to console us more than that though we wished there were someone who could be in our son's corner besides us to coach teach cheer and console. Our guest today is a coach Mentor Speaker and dad of six year old son who has worked with kids in just about every imaginable setting from at risk foster youth to have to training police departments and school districts on how best to work with teens more than that Joshua Wayne was a. Teen he has street cred which matter so much for boys. Welcome Joshua rapier figure to beat her with you. Great to have you. You have been working directly with teams for twenty some years and help him face challenges that support that they need to make smart decisions and along with that guiding parents to love and support them. That's a tall order. Someone's got to do it and we're glad you're doing it because I mean Gen my co host I should say is not with us today but you know we are advocates we work with parents and yet we were not that struggling team boy and so it's so important for them to have meant to say, Hey, I was there. Here's what you gotTa do here's. Here's what's going on you know. Connect with them and and my preference when I worked with a family and there's a number of things that I do one of the things I do is work directly with families in a coaching and mentoring capacity. My first effort is always tried to connect with the young man. I always want to build that relationship is I if I can. that the sweet spot for me with a young man I work with is a little bit older seventeen up sort of with their little more mature, little more grounded in themselves a little more at that place where they're starting to take more responsibility all we have even been their middle twenties for for young men who need another. Another another or another voice in their ear I should say. Another adult man who can give them some guidance as they're figuring out where they're going and what they wanna do I always wanted to try to connect with the with the team. What I've also realized though is that sometimes unfortunately by the time families find me. If there's a lot of discord in the relationship with their on than the and they tried to introduce me a lot of times, their kids GonNa, see me as a hired Hitman the parents, right and. So it makes it difficult. So what I learned over the years that I also even if I can't on if I can't successfully engage the young man, I often can also help parents by coaching them and helping them really navigate the situation strategically to very often repair their relationship with their son so that they can get their relationship back on track and play a constructive role is he's figuring out what it means to be an adult. Yeah, I mean, I also coach and I work with families who unfortunately if they do come to you kind of late when things are not sneak it out and spoken pot and doing all the things and so what would you say to those parents who have? Who feel like they are just a losing their used the term authority but you and which I don't really mean like coming down hard authority but you know there is that place where suddenly your boy is bigger than you and stronger than you add, he's saying no. And you don't feel like you have any leverage with him. So. Here's a couple aspects to it. Let me say this the just to go back to the sort of the start of where I would think about the answer to that question. In many ways this this is the the the underpinnings of all my work when I'm speaking to parent roofs or the people who work with kids. I I use this metaphor. If you. If you think of any major organization in the world whether it's a company or a nonprofit, they all have a board of directors that is they are to guide their strict, their strategic thinking and their decision making. Just. Like those organizations every kid in your life has their own board of directors and it's like a virtual roundtable of the people that are listening to and paying attention to they figure out what it means to be an adult right still consists of their friends for sure. It consists of celebrities they're following on social media consists of musicians whose music they love sports, figures they idolize you're lucky at teacher or two or some significant adult. My core premise parents is that your number one objective is to be on your kids board of directors. You don't need to be the chairman of the board, but you want a seat at that table. Now, the only way you get and keep a seat at that table is by having a relationship that is strong with them. It's the only real leverage you have if they feel like they can talk to you. And that you're more importantly that you're gonNA listen without judging or rushing into a lecture with your opinion about things if you'll really listen to them. They're still not gonNa tell you everything. We're talking about teams after all but when the big things hit and they always hit You can position yourself to be one of the people are coming to or advice and feedback when they need it. For me that strength of the relationship become, it's really the only leverage points you have I mean I can't control my six year old when he's sitting next to me let alone when these twelve or thirteen or fourteen, and he's going to be up in his room off his friends. The only leverage I actually have is a strength of my relationship with him. So that really becomes in my mind. The main thing to focus on that's the me topic of conversation. So in that at night, you know we our listeners are appearance of all age children and I can hear the the moms out there going, okay he's six. How do I? How do I make sure that we have that strong connection then they start to be tweens and their board of directors table fills up with lots of other people and they don't talk to their parents and so how do you navigate those waters a yeah. I want to have a strong relationship with him, but it feels very one sided. So. A. Couple pieces to the first one is you let me ask me let me start with actually the way I. Think it was the second one because I think this is where most parents with the best of intentions make missteps and it's about it's about choosing the battles you fight with them. That is the main thing because there is no R- there is no more sure fire way to get yourself kicked off his board of directors and fighting the wrong battles with him. I will go cut to the chase because there is the number one battle. Parents with their teen boys it gets them excommunicated from the board of directors. You WanNa. Guess what it is screams not act. It's actually not screen. That's the that's the second one. Let School I. Okay. Good in their grades. will in grades stop fighting with him about it. Stop freaking out about it. You don't freak out because their kids getting bs when they when the parents bishop beginning as or got a C. Plus class when they when they think he's capable of getting a B. Plus and they're frustrated and they're writing about it, and then that becomes anger and resentment and push back, and then that starts to bleed out into all of the other areas of your relationship with him. 'cause you're not giving him his space. Around school and taking ownership for himself so that he actually can navigate it and that means we have to deal with our own anxiety and deal with a little bit of what seems on the out. A little bit of failure. The, we need to deal with it and put our own anxiety and check in give him space around that I. Actually Think Tech is a battle we should fight with them I can't. Let's stick with school and the tank. Definitely important but. I love what you're saying. I can hear I mean gives me I feel a little anxious I. I don't even have kids in school, but I'm feeling all the parents out there all the moms out there who are had that eighth grader that ninth grader who feel like he's not even trying he doesn't care about homework he like we won't even bring in this whole debacle of online schooling during the pandemic 'cause that's been just crazy. and. I, know that we future pace a lot as parents. We you know we want him to go to college or vocational school whatever he wants to do. We want our kids to be successful. And we see them not even trying not motivated and. Okay I. Hear You like we've got it back off and do our homework but yet our kids are failing before our eyes. It's not what we want for our voice we want them to. At, least get sees but what do you do about that kid who isn't even doesn't care at all In the paris-nice yeah. So I think ways to think about it. The first one is. Of course was a mess allen it'd be clear. I'm not seeing schools unimportant school is important. It's just not the most important thing you know in in a in a period of time. has become the second leading cause of death amongst adolescents and we have research that shows that it's the APA put out some some data. The said forty five percent of kids report being stressed about school and we know their stress level increases during the school year. Just putting a huge amount of pressure anxiety NAM on them around school is a net loss for parents because of what it does to do your relationship and how weakens your position on their board. So there's a couple of things. One is at, of course, we should encourage them to do their best. But they have to take ownership for it like that is the key thing we're looking for, and it comes to school as they take ownership. They've got gotta be the ones during the ship if it's only you trying to push it forward. They're not learning they're not getting the internal skills the need to become independent at some point. Here's what I have so many boys that are struggling in school and their parents are freaked out about it, and there's tons of fighting at home around this punishment and the kids resentful many's. Acting out all bunch of other ways to get even with his parents because of all the pressure on school when he gets out of high school whatever next. And, we get a little bit of distance and a little bit of breathing room and he gets a little bit more sense of autonomy in a sense of he's allowed focus on the things. He wants his way things things come together. The key but my goal is I want that to happen before they get out of high school. So. Game Room. What are the natural consequences of open failing a class or two? maybe yesterday repeat those classes may be to go to summer school maybe instead of getting a summer job or going with his friends are doing camps or whatever he's got to go to school I just did parents get out of the way. Let him start to make decisions about this stuff deal with the natural consequences of what com so that he can start to take responsibility for this situation and navigate a once he takes ownership for it. Things are going to change just because kids failing some classes are not getting the GPA you think that they can get does not mean he's GonNa be living in a van down by the river at some point something's going to click in his brain around I need to take action around this and he's going to do it. Now here's a couple of the pieces though that are sort of a backstop. Okay. I don't believe therefore you should just be completely hands off with your son. Right because I think there are things that we should be really pushing on them right. So like if you like a way to look at this question I like to ask myself or when I'm approaching working with the boys. What does a healthy boy look? Right because if I can think through that and if I can start to define what a healthy boy looks like. Then I know, I started to start to try to cultivate in him or is apparent myself right. Let's just think through some of the big picture things around what tends to be true about boys that are healthy and doing well right one is they're physically active. And I'm not saying they have to be a star athlete. I'm not talking about be happened the basketball team I'm talking about a certain kind of physicality being healthy being engaged whether it's some kids like to go to the gym some kids do a martial art. Some kids do a sport some kids right around and play just baseball in the park with their friends but they're physically active and engaged. They have a sense of their body not sitting there for twelve hours a day playing video games. And again I'M NOT GONNA. We can come back and talk about tech in a moment, but there's a sense of physicality he's physically act. He asked every really healthy boy I know. It's physically at. The second one is he has interests. Yes. Just natural interest. Some of those are GonNa lead to good grades. Some of those aren't the young I worked with WHO's just so deeply into military history just knows every navy ship and every detail of every navy ship another one who is into rock climbing and just studies different rock climbing routes. But. But healthy tend to have interests right something they just eclipses and holds their attention. Third one is they have friends. They have to have a massive stable of friends, but they know how to make friends in order to keep friends. They know how to know what a friend is and they know what a friend isn't Fourth one is a basic sense of self confidence. You know has some emotional resilience can can take smart risk knows is comfortable stepping outside. His comfort zone has a sense of self confidence. It's okay to take risks in the world L. ME allocated risk. Comes in the fifth one is a strong relationship with you. Goes into five that I've sort of defined in. My mind is I'm looking at a boy that goes to the lenses I'm looking at it go back to the board of directors thing. Those are the five things so. If you notice on my list of things is not a great GPA. Right. By hypothesis is those other five things are more or less true if we can focus on those things, your boy's GonNa turn out. Fine. He's GonNa be okay. Regardless of what his GPA is. If he has those things, he's going to figure out what he's GonNa. He's GonNa. Have the tools he needs to successfully transition into the adult world take responsibility for self and Gobi successful which again, what we all want for exactly, and that's success may be out of what we think as the the mainstream success, which is totally fine because he's followed his interest or his passion. He follows his defines the thing that that's the path in life it's going to be right for him where he's going to be satisfied. Have the kinds of friendships they're going to be satisfying. You Know I. didn't I didn't know what I wanted to do until I was in my late twenties with real clarity and I went to college but then I kind of wandered for some years I waited tables I backpacked in around the world in a couple of different places I just needed to I had some wanderlust that I had to get out of my system and go works in different jobs in. Different places and try different things and lived in a few different places in couched her for a little while with friends, and then once I got that out of my system, there was. A an absolute clarity I want you. I went to. Grad. School. I did what was supposed to be a four year pro part time program I did it in two years full-time while working a fulltime job? Got A four point. Oh GPA and was vice president of the Student Counseling Association from from the the program that I was in. While I was working fulltime job because. Once, I was clear. It was it was almost perfunctory exercise. It just had to go and get the work done and I did it right the determining And highlight of came in your late twenties, you had to do all these other things I, and I think that we do pressure our boys even in as early as middle school and Early High School of what you can do, what you want to be, how are you going to do it and and that straight path and it is not a straight path so Allowing them that time to explore and I do wonder though for many parents, they're wondering if their sons are going to get off of the couch and away from the video game. So let's let's pivot attack and talk about tech and I also want to make sure that we include that sense of motivation I hear a lot appearance worried that feel like our sons. Have no motivation. They don't WanNa be out exploring interests. They don't they're just content to play fortnight. With their friends. Yeah. Yeah I know and it's a challenge. So I I believe we look at the battles we have to fight. Right I believe at tech is one of those battles. And it is not an easy battle, the fight. I will say I just wrote a book on the topic and want to talk about in the book is that obviously the earlier you introduce clear rules boundaries around it much easier your life is going to be. You know if when they get their first vice when they're eleven or twelve. And it comes in it's that, hey, this is my device. I'm wedding, you use it. Exist rules and expectations, and if you follow the rules and expectations and I want you to enjoy this device. You don't follow these rules and expectations. You'RE NOT GONNA have access to this. Now if you if you start to breed that into them when they're younger that thinking. That you were the one controlling the reins of Jalan when tech is using your home, your your job is going to be much. I get though that a lot of parents even with the best of intentions. gave the kid there first of ice when they were nine ten eleven, whatever it is and thought, hey, you know this just zeitgeist he's going to go use the device and says he's going to his friends in Games and whatever you got a sixteen year old who you know. With the thing away in in World War three when you when you try to get him to shut it down it. Exactly. Yeah. So let's start. Let's kind of take it sequentially and also at the caveat that. Probably were all on screens more sure in these last couple months at an feeling some guilt about that and so where do we kind of land there but but also looking at say that the five six, seven, eight year olds that are are on video games a good percentage of the day and part of that is because we got work to do and we need them to be entertained. So do you start to set those boundaries early and the parameters early on? Knowing that it is going to be a struggle I. Mean we know that this is addictive it is for us as adults and it's really hard to say turn it off Comey dinner whatever and make this transition. So how do you suggest for parents of younger kids to to set that foundation early? Me Just have to set limits is just it's this parenting. You know you don't let me to hold bag of oreos. They can have to orioles. You know my whole premise of the book is that a problem isn't technology. The problem is moderation. And in some ways, tech is sugar is the at metaphor because tech is kind of like sugar once they get a taste. Yeah it's all they want. It's once they get on skittles and Oreos it's hard to get back to to Broccoli in in Cali flour and carrots right? You know. But but this is but that's part of parenting is that we bet limits we fight certain battles because we know it's in their best interest and I understand what the whole pandemic thing that things have loosened up a little bit I actually. reasonable. I don't I think that it's okay to be more flexible, right not. Beat ourselves up about it but but just so we can. We can talk about some of the rules during but just in terms of normal times. You've got to set limits with younger kids in particular. You know the general, the general guidance out there, and it's changed and different organizations of nuance that a little bit. But I go back to this basically this two hour rule that once they get, let's say over six years old. They should have a maximum of two hours a day of screen time Now, I think for a lot of high high-schoolers. Like the six to ten year olds, that's probably reasonable once they get into a fifteen sixteen years old that's probably a little more difficult than we can talk about that. You know deep into WANNA go. But. But this is where we had the parent that, yeah, the devices get shut off and you can shut down the Wifi. A certain point if they have to, you can physically device away. You can have apparent control at that shuts it all down the other thing too. It's hard that we also have to admit is that. Especially, with younger kids, Tech Tech is like free unlimited babysitting exact right. So so to set limits on, it puts more onus responsibility on us to have to engage with them as you program for them to have to find things to do for them. But. But you know I guess comes down to how you WANNA raise your kid and somebody just becomes a very personal choice. I, WanNa be outside doing sports running around with my son and rolling the balls in walking in the woods and looking for for Salamanders in the Creek I. Mean That's you know but that's a personal choice because those are my values that's better for his brain development than sitting in front of a screen for hours. We. Do limit you know comes a parenting choice but to go do that with me gotta put on my own device and my own my own things that that I might rather be doing it's in Joshua's world. Be In his world so it becomes a personal parenting choice I think but it's about. Having that sense of authoritative Mrs Parents that at some point we as parents we have to say, no at some point. No, you can't eat tenorio's no you can't have more screen time knows a complete sets. Right. Yes. Yeah, and just own it and fill fill out those those parenting shoes which people's talk. But I don't see any way around that. If you want to set limits around the stuff of your kids because the problem is if we don't do, we don't set limits for they're not going to do it for themselves in most cases sure that bag of oreos is sitting there and Orios, are good. We like Oreo of. Obviously. Got Me thinking about Oreos, which is a good thing but. Okay. So what about? So what are your? Tell us the name of your book. The simple parenting guide to technology out by, and we will put a link to that or show notes So what? What about that teen? Who you know sneaks his phone at night and just is like, what are you know? Basically, you're not on his board of directors right now because you've had this battle, how do you? How do you repair? How do you reconnect around this? I think if you're going to start to get the wheel spinning in the other direction around tech with an older kid who's got some ingrained bad habits. I. Think you have to ease into it I. Don't think you go from the kidding on the device ten hours a day to sang-ok starting you know starting tomorrow. Going to go down to two hours a day by the way how school honey I don't think that's GonNa that's not going to go over so well, right. So I, think you need to ease into it in the book. The first part of the book is basically walked errands through how to think through a family tech agreement for your family, which is just a simple way of saying. Here are the basic rules around. Here, the consequences for not following those rules and how to talk to your kids about that. Right rather again, it's easier if your kids eight. And then you know fourteen but at some point, you have to find some framework for a conversation I. Think you can ease into it. I think a couple things here. Here's the one rule that I say the parents if you can do nothing else. Okay. So I'll start here. Now we can kinda layer in a couple more things might be helpful. If you can do nothing else. It's to follow this one golden rule that I think every in my opinion, every parent should. It's to make sure that devices go to bed at night to meaning that I'm at night. And you can decide what's right for your family and your child and your family culture and Environment I. Don't know if it's maybe it's eight, thirty, nine, thirty minutes eleven thirty I don't know. But there's a time at night it's reasonable when everything gets shutdown. non-negotiable. Good for us as well. It's yeah. It's good for everybody. Go around and like what I say to parents is go around and collect devices. Tool the trick or treatment that you go around with a pillow case. and. Everybody puts their device in it. Their IPADS. Phones. To take away the joy for the experts takeaways unplug the XBOX. To get creative, get a laundry basket and take the screens for desktop computers if it's what you have to do where there's a will there's a way. Sure. There's where there's a will. There's a way you're things down and that's it for the night. My experience. Keeping devices in their room is almost unbearable temptation for most teams and they're gonNA reach for and they're going to want to see if they're friend got back to them on snapchat or whatever it is. It's just it's a formula four or setting them up for failure. Compass sugar right next to their bed next to the bay. So. If you can do nothing else to say the parents figure a way to do that work that into your family routine charge him in the common area. If you're worried that they're going to go and sneak them in charge them in your room put him in a closet and put a padlock on it I mean whatever you have to do shut things down at night is the one thing he make them you can't force them to their for go to sleep at then they can read a book where they can. Do something is something else. You can do maybe shut down certain point in your family time. Right when you sit down and you watch a family, TV show the Jeroen to which I get is technically screen time but rather you guys circle around in Geek out on some Netflix's together for an hour as a way to wind down today rather than being in the room on xbox right? You can do nothing else than do that. Then, you can decide from there if you want to build them then you decide how far how much you WanNa fight the battle you know like what I would say what I would say to you I advise parents stated kids and I don't have this problem right now with my own son because he's on my you've got the range of of every minute of his time and There's access to device and I. It's GonNa. Stay that way until he's probably at least in eighth grade But what I would say is to say, Hey, look like I'm not talking about taking your xbox away from you altogether. But. If you're not out doing some of those other things I talked about before like being physically active being on a team. Right, you know going to the gym with your friends studying a martial art being involved in feeder or feeder. I don't care what your interests are. If you don't, if you don't start to apply yourself into that, you're going to get the bare minimum of tech access in this home. You know you go show me. You can do ten hours outside the House engaged in positive non digital activities. Income in and you can have fifteen hours over the course of the week. Brand screen time you forgot some sort of formula some sort of quid pro quo. If you will of you do these things I'm going to get off your back about this stuff I want you to have I want this this is the way you can pick your friends and have fun through fortnight. That's great. I don't WanNa. Together is just not going to be the only thing you do. Yeah I think that's great guidance and there's a key piece in there too of when we can shift our own perspective on screen time because basically it's you know we can land in like I hate this I hate four. But if you can. Decide to like it a little bit and see what it been, how it benefits your son. Then that can kind of ease your stress around it too. I WanNa pay that because we are I asked him the boys alive facebook group if any parents had questions for you so and make sure we get to those some of those one month's said might has days when he just feels angry he's never sure why and he wants to know. Number. One if this is normal and number two, if it will get better. Great. Question boy and anger. Yeah. Yeah. I have to two thoughts about the first one is it I would reassure that it is normal. That it's OK. Nubia ashamed about it. I would say a that the challenge that you want to the way you want to think about is, how do you help them with this? What's a constructive way for him to to to deal with this? Kind of comes back to my physical activity thing it doesn't mean it's GonNa. It's GonNa take all of that and audit him. But it's going to help one of the main reasons that I work out pretty religiously in my life and have my entire adult life is because of the is not so much. The physical benefits although that's great I feel healthy and you know I'm healthy, but it's also from my mental wealthy. You know like boys need to be active boys need to be running around to be more balanced motion. So I'm not saying that that's going to resolve all of his anger issues, but I know it's not GonNa hurt him. Yeah. So that's one thing I would say the second thing is that. If it is intense and he feels like he could be on the verge of losing control than he needs to get some sort of professional health. It's not there's nothing shameful about having someone you can talk to about I. I've always been really into martial arts and I I really think that that's an amazing thing for boys is a way to deal with some of that forceful intense energy that they're feeling the channel it in a really constructive safe way. So when the young men who I work with very often try to bring them into that world. It is one of the most healthy positive ways to deal with that intense anger that I think. So many men feel that. I know that certainly I was younger I'm as you get older, I think you just a more. Rounded and giving some of those things. But I, remember feeling intense amounts of anger in my in my teens and twenties and wasn't totally sure what to do with it and you have to find a healthy way for him to channel it. But I think both begin with with acknowledging that it's okay. You're not alone. This is not a strange isn't going to be shamed about let's figure out how let's give you the tools you need to deal with us in a constructive way. So you feel like you can manager anger rather than your anger's managing, you great point. So what would you? What would you say is the biggest thing team boys need from their mom? First question and from their dad second question. Yeah. Request So. START WITH MOM. Okay. This hard. This is hard moms. Which your team boy needs from you. And I'll say in the most blunt way I can say it and then I'm GonNa and then I'm GonNa sort of modified a little bit. It's for you to let him go. This. Is Not mean you have no relationship with him. But you need to let him leave the nest. You need to love him. You need to honor him. Need to respect him for the man he is becoming rather than the boy you find yourself at times wanting him to still be. So you need to like the boy goes really what it is and make room for the man. Yeah and what's going to be hard about that is it there is going to be a period of time. Starting around the time, he's you know give or take twelve or thirteen. When he's he's not going to be as close to you in the same way that he was. If you do this successfully. If, you give him space. You give him room to go become a man steak stay connected. Try to stay on his board of directors. I'm not saying there's no role for you. There's a massive for you. It's about loving. Nurturing it's about being there. It's about showing up it's about. So going to see him do his fourteen his activities and being there and loving him but when he doesn't WanNa. Talk. When he just doesn't feel like he doesn't want to open up in a given moment give him space. Selling, Norton, he knows you love him. He knows you're there. Don't force it. Don't because that is going to be counter productive. It's GonNa. Be opposite effect of what you want. It's GonNa, push him away rather than bringing them closer. You have to let him go He will come back to you. And it will be a different relationship than the one you had when he was a little boy. Will be a rich wonderful relationship adult relationship. That is probably the greatest blessing you can give your child is a month. I love hearing that come from you. That's just profound and all the MOMS listening take a deep breath right now. Yeah it's. GonNa be okay. They will come back but it ended is hard to be in those in those years when his friends are more important everything seems more important than you and you feel sidelined by sidelined you're connected you know like those sci Fi movies when when they're the astronauts are traveling to Mars. And they put him in this almost like sleep induced coma for three years. There was a movie that Matt, Damon Movie I think were the Mar-, something about Mars anyway and they did that they did that where they put them in this sorta Kalma for three years and then and then they wake up in their life resumes. It's going it's going to be slightly life that were a certain aspect of the closeness you're accustomed to is GONNA go dormant And a lot of thank. Yous. That you deserve in want it times. We'll some more like F, US Ha Yep, but he still loves you. Keep letting him know you're there. And if you if you. Walk that tightrope. Well and it's okay to took to fall off balance. Sometimes, we're all going to do it. You can come back. So. So take a deep breath it's going to be okay. Yeah, and in that it's important to take care of yourself and to reach out to other MOMS who maybe are a little further ahead than you are who have been been there and their sons have come back and that's where that community and talking to each other and supporting each other is so important that you absolutely are not is located and feeling. More isolated because word Waco whereas whereas were sweet little boy who's just like it's the it's the Chrysalis Butterfly Metaphor of like he's gotTa be in there for a while and then and then he'll help me out. So during this time before and during and after what about dads and there isn't a dad in the picture I know a lot of single. MOMS worry because their sons don't have a great male role model. So here's what I'd say two dads the you have to do a little bit of the same in terms of just give him space if he doesn't WanNa talk about stuff. Give. Them Room give them space. Dad's the I think the main thing residue is to keep doing stuff with their sons throw the ball around. Go for a hike go for a stay connected to your boy. Don't have to doesn't mean you have to be his best friend at times. He's not GonNa want hang with you. That's okay. And I think mom should do this to I'm not saying mom should like literally you'd say goodbye to their kids for three or four years but dads in particular stay connected to him. If, you can kinda comes back to the video game thing you said like stay in his world what you don't want fortnight learned to play fortnight with them you have to spend three hours a day planning fortnight but once once a week, go sit down for forty five minutes and let them live whoop you and fortnight right. And have some laughs Deion has world show an in his world be curious about his world dad stay connected stay close and then just be a good role model. Needs to see adult men making decisions in the world he needs to see adult men who come home every day and their present with their families. No they're not just disappearing into their own hobbies or or whatever. bring him into your hobbies if you can stay connected. You know again he's he's not the talked about everything and that's okay. But stay connected even fortunately a lot of dads they sort they looked at space come in because he thinks he's kind of doing things and this is a time to actually stay really connected industry continued to role model healthy masculinity for. And and starting early to foster those physical activities that you like to do together if it finished seeing or whatever it might be. Yeah. That that that is going to hold you through those through that that little those fears were. You know he's doing his thing, but but that still has to be their. Friend of mine growing up just give us one little quick story and I go. There's a friend. And he had he had there's three boys in the family and. A house, there's a table in their in their big living room and there was a table sort of in the corner. It always had a massive jigsaw puzzle. And the and it became this family gathering spot and like you people you could come in and if you were visiting them, you might sit there for fifteen twenty minutes and there'd be two or three people around and it was this collective project that the family was always working on a jigsaw puzzle and they would laminate and put them on the wall next thing but. It was this really interesting almost like this, like this modern herff if people would gather around and I always thought that was a clever thing for the parents do to make sure that was this fixture this gathering point in their living room. In some ways, it's a metaphor to to just make sure that there's something you guys can continue to gather around that. There's some able. Or some activity maybe physical maybe it's more of intellectual type thing. Maybe it's politics I don't know what it is but find that thing it's you can that you can share with them and rally around in gatherer while. Nice I love that and for for many males. Sitting, at a puzzle tables, way easier to to Chit Chat or not. But I contact is not a part of it and that can be more comfortable for many boys. So keeping that in mind to. As we wrap up I would love to hear one top tip. My biggest tip comes back to the whole board of director thing put his two questions to really ask yourself there one is is. I'll start with not fighting the wrong battles. I wouldn't look at every area that you have conflict with your son. And Ask yourself this question, can I let go of this Can I let go of this? Because you have to do an inventory of sorts where you have conflict where you have tension that is creating more distancing your relationship and ask yourself that question can I let go of this Is something that. Absolutely has to be this way or just like it to be this way like his room you know maybe some of the for his friends. Maybe. Some of the just just day to day habits we close he wears. Way He's styling his hair. There's you sit the look at all these things that you might be fighting him about. School again, Industry Self can I soften my position on this stuff to create less tension in my relationship with? Then, the second question is, what can I do to strengthen the relationship and it goes back to those things around throwing the ball around going for bike rides. Whatever your thing is bird-watching whatever you find they common interests that you can again not. Not. Go have all the deep heavy conversations about what his innermost thoughts are about like where you can just laugh together and hang out together because from my experience if kids can't just hang out with you in, relax around you and let their guard down around you you're never gonna get to the deeper subtexts. What's really going on in their life because when you come to them with a bunch of questions and you want to figure it out, he's GonNa feel like that's an interrogation not not a connection. So. Yes. I have to find that what is that common ground where you can just relax there's there's a quote, the old comedian Victor Borge. That laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Nice. And I always come back to that. Can you just do like smile and laugh together? Because that is going to do so much for your relationship. So then create the conditions where maybe you do have those more meaningful conversation when he's ready when he's ready and that may be when he comes back as a young adult who knows maybe it'll be when he when he screws up with something and because you proven that you're that you're willing to listen to him when he asked to talk. Let's say he he says some say he post something on social media that he later regrets. He says something that was really like made him feel awful reality actually went against his own values something bad or and there are some negative feedback team from it and he was really upset and scared and didn't really know what to do. I want my kid be able to come to me and talking about in that moment. Yes you gotta do all. You gotta do the groundwork so that if that happens or if you're forbid kids being bullied in some way, you're going to do the groundwork. So the the conditions are right that he'll come and talk to you about exactly. Yeah Yeah. Laughter is the shortest say that again Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Love it Joshua. Thank you so much for this conversation. There are so many Golden Nuggets in what you've said today that I know really be helpful to to parents as they're looking at this long summer ahead of us and. Tell us where people can find you and connect with you. Now, the best places just to go to my website www dot. Joshua Wayne Dot Com. Great. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us and we look forward to staying connected. Be Awesome wixom laughter. Works for me. All right take care. If you liked this episode. If you found this episode, helpful, please consider sharing on boys podcast with your friends. They can find US wherever they listen to their favorite podcasts whether they use an apple and android they listened in their car, they listen from their computer. Please tell your friends about on boys and together we will make the world a better place for boys.

WanNa Joshua Wayne Joshua Adam Joshua rapier H. I. Y. A. H. E. A. L. T. Early High School Y. A. H. E. A. L. T. coach Mentor Speaker Jennifer L. W. Mrs Parents basketball baseball Janet Alison Tech Tech chairman facebook
Worship & Mission | The Focus of Prayer

Agape Baptist Church | Scottsboro, Alabama

32:47 min | 1 year ago

Worship & Mission | The Focus of Prayer

"So matthew chapter six. We're going to recap a little bit from last week and we're talking about this subject of prayer <hes> we we saw jesus last week. Matthew chapter six it says in verse five and when you pray and then verse <hes> verse six but when you pray in verse seven but when you pray and we mentioned about jesus is telling us he assumes that we're going to be people who pray and there's a reason for that <hes> martin moore for jones is old british preacher he put it. This way in prayer is beyond any question. The highest activity of the human soul he said man is that his greatest addison highest when upon his knees he comes face to face with god and so we really do want prayer to be the foundation of everything we do at a guy we want. We want prayer to undergird every event. We want prayer to be the way that got fuels the ministries of our church we want that to be the way to god gives us wisdom and insight about the the people that need to be touched the new initiatives that need to be pursued the hard conversations ends that need to be had any anything everything is worthy to pray about and god wants us to be praying to him and so we want ought to just establish that as the fact is as we continue our understanding of what it means for us to walk forward as a church and we talked about last week how the lord's prayer is a great jumping off point for our for our time. We'll do the same thing that we did last. Go actually end with the lord's prayer tonight but charles spurgeon wants us he wants his congregation understand that that while the lord's prayer is a great model. We don't need to think of it. As something <hes> ritualistic that we have to pray through that we have to say it word for word we have to say this exact words <hes> in order for it to be be effective in fact the thing that he says right before he prays <hes> emphasizes that when prayed and he put empty phrases as the gentiles. Do i mean he's saying don't just say the lord's prayer and a perfunctory way detached from your heart because that's not what it's four right <hes> he's giving giving us a model to pray and this is the way that virgin put it in this is <hes> <hes> unique way. He said this prey of christ is a great chart as it were he but i cannot cross the sea on a chart. It's a map but a man is not a traveler because he puts his fingers across the map and so you can you can pray the lord's for all you want and not pray and he wants us to understand that it's a great model but it's not just some were words that have power in them and jesus just because jesus is emphasis in the summer amount as we head on last week is that <hes> that the heart is the source of all <hes> true relationship with god this unseen part of who we are. That's where a relationship with god stems from and that's the first part of us. That's made new in the process of regeneration. You'll hear me your you'll hear me say ezekiel thirty six twenty six and twenty seven often because in ezekiel thirty six god way before jesus ever comes on on the scene tells us what jesus will accomplish when when he says and i will take your heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh i will put my spirit within our cause you to walk walking obedience to my commands and so god's proclaiming these new covenant promises in the old testament they have. They have nothing to do as far as the origin of the source that have nothing to do with what's what's on the outside i will i will take your heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. It's on the inside. He says i will sprinkle clean water on you and al cleanse you and i will put my spirit in all cause you to walk in obedience to my commands and so the spirit of god on the inside is the starting point biblical local christianity and the sermon on the mount just emphasizes this this spiritual part of who we are jesus tells his disciples is what really really matters when you sin jesus says you've heard it said that if you commit adultery then you've committed a similar i'll tell you if you look lustfully right and he said you've so you've you've heard it said that if you say this but if you hate somebody in your heart that's that's what really matters and he just continually i mean even the whole all of the beatitudes foods he's focusing on what's on the inside and so when it comes to prayer jesus recognizes that the spiritual part of who we are when it's alive that that that is that part of you that relates to god think about it <hes> one of the one of the things that is very striking to see whenever you go to another other countries this idea of arranged marriages and you. You think wow that would be a really tough situation. You know to <hes> to know that you're destined to to marry this person and and you don't really know them until you've already been joined with them. I'd be very scary think and in the united states that we we're together other because we want to be together. That's the way it should be and jesus assumes that a spiritual relationship with god is going to be the same way right. You're you're not just i t. Praying to him because like you have to what is prayer. It's i want to talk to god. I mean communication is the foundation of every relationship egypt. I mean i can't speak for your marriage. I love talking to my wife in fact. I hadn't seen her very much today and so during the welcome tom i'm like hey you know talking talking to her because i mean it's just i like talking to her. I like interacting with her and relating to her and and that's because i love her. We're gonna covenant together and so prayer is that in the spiritual part of who we are and jesus wants us to understand it and its simplicity like that he doesn't want us to be caught up with forms and and even liturgies as good as they can be and all of these other kinds of of things accompany prayer he wants prayer to be something that is natural like a relationship should be and so prayer is just that communicating with god but to communicate with someone. You have to know them right. That seems very very understanding understandable. It seems almost implicit but if you wanna know someone one. That's i mean if you want to talk to someone you have to know. That's what makes <hes> tim keller. He defines prayers this. He said prayer is a personal communicative response to the knowledge of god. Prayer is a personal commute community of i'm not gonna say twice in a row communicative all right there we go community that <hes> stop right there prayers that communication thing that's a response to god to the knowledge god and that's what jesus was telling us last week prayers about clinging to the promise that you don't have to stand on the street corners and declare your spirituality before others for god to really know the secret part of who you are because he already does you don't have to seek the reward word of others saying man you. You are an awesome prayer for god to really hear you in fact when you pray you recognize that your father who sees in secret will reward you. That's the promise that he's telling us to cling to remember what what we talked about life. In crisis <hes> clinging to the promises of god seasons a passionate obedience woven together by tom's of self examination so jesus is giving us the promise of god's character to cling to due to say he sees me. He sees me. He knows me knows my heart. He knows he knows my desires and romans eight eight tells us that even when we can't articulate those and the words that he sees them purely for what they are. That's what makes this thing about prayer so beautiful and inviting waiting for us. This is not something we should be afraid of prayers about cleaning the promise that god sees us at the core of who we are so don't be like the people who parade arrayed their prayers around for everyone to see don't be concerned with that but but be genuine from the heart when you pray and this was jesus's practice was to be a prayer warrior jesus under girded everything with prayer. I'm just gonna assistance. Just mentioned these these texts mark one thirty five mark says and rising vary in the morning while it was still dark jesus depart in and went out to a desolate price place and there he prayed mark six forty six after he'd taken leave of them emme went on the mountain to pray matthew fourteen twenty three and after he had dismissed the crowds he went up on the mountain by himself to pray and when evening came he was there alone luke five sixteen but he would withdrawal to desolate places and pray luke six twelve in these days he went out to the mountain to pray and all night he continued in prayer to god and we see even when it comes to the time before his darkest hour there <music> on the cross the guard against what does jesus do. He tells us a samples to watch and pray with them. Here bucs them because they're asleep when they should be praying and here's jesus and i love that john captures it right and john chapter seventeen captures jesus prayer for us and so there's it's just this this is the life of jesus in him being a prayer warrior and that's why the disciples asked jesus how to pray and in chapter eleven eleven verse one they say <hes> when jesus was praying in a certain place and this is the heart of discipleship says when he finished one of his disciples said to him or teach us us to pray. I don't know if you've ever just started that way. Maybe you just just to be honest tonight. You say yeah that's the part of my life restaurant with the most then then then ask the lord to do for for you exactly what he did the disciples or teach me i pray. I've done this at one point in my life right. After i was a new believer there was a girl when our youth group and to hear her pray it was like she was talking to god and he he was right beside her and i i remember saying or i wanna i wanna play like that and it's not just because i wanna i wanna sound good. I'd like she does right. I wanna know you like she. Does i wanna. I wanna walk with you like she does. As i've seen i've seen some people they are worshiping god and and <hes> how this happened <hes> <hes> actually we told sean and on their brother's funeral the guy who was leading worship their they're on stage. You can just feel that he believed when he was singing right and that's i think that's the heart of authentic christianity is it starts on the inside but doesn't stay on the inside right and jesus. He would never want us to think that matthew chapter six this whole idea of of just just talking about <hes> not praying in front of people whatever mean that it's wrong to pray publicly. Praying publicly is is something we should do. In fact i the chapter two it'd be the counterbalance to that that understanding when when paul says i want men everywhere to lift up holy hands prayer and he's talking about the context of public worship we need to be praying praying out loud together just like we were just doing we should never be ashamed of that and so jesus prayed and he wants to teach us how to pray and as he teaches the disciples about prayer he wants us to see two things specifically over the next few weeks and these are just kind of two overarching things is i think jesus is trying to teach us as his disciples is that a prayer shows you what you really value and what you really desire what you pray for shows you what you care about the most ever thought about it that way just even as you maybe if you're able to as you pray or if you journal journal or or whatever you can look at what you pray for what you care about the most and that's why somebody told me one time. They said they said <hes>. If you ever are are struggling with a person in your life form because you can't help but to love people that you pray for and so i pray pray for those people <hes> pray for those things because what you pray for us what you really value in you desire but the other thing that he wants to show us is in especially in the sorts prayer jesus showing us what he desired and i'm thinking okay if these are the things that jesus desires then shouldn't they be the things that i desires well. I mean if these are the desires of my savior. Then i want these to my desires also and so that's what we're going to look at over the next few weeks. We're gonna take each verse and we're gonna see the focus of those of those verses to see the heart of jesus what jesus really was longing for and really desiring and then look look at us and what we're praying about and how how we articulate our prayers and what are we really desiring and then unite desires to the desires of jesus and i think that's where proverbs chapter three verse five and six come into play all right wh- proverbs chapter three verse five and six anybody got it memorize trust in your heart lean not on your understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight right and so this whole idea of us conforming our desires to the desires ars of christ is crucial and i think that's the only way that that the scriptures fulfill he says <hes> when he says in john chapter fifteen when he says ask aspirin aspect of you wish him on ernest matthew chapter seven <hes> later on when he says <hes> ask whatever you wish in my name it will begin to you right now. It's not a it's not saying hey hey ask for a million dollars and you got it right. It doesn't work that way but instead he's saying when you make your desires my desires and i stir within you something something then ask me ask me and so must begin with verse nine the first <hes> the first verse of of this disciples prayer that jesus wants to model for us. He says our father in heaven hallowed be your name. I think jesus is showing us that the best place to start in prayer is with worship and praise and adoration which is exactly why we started the way we did tonight by praying the psalms and the fact is that we were wired to behold god. We were wired to stand off of him. According to our design this should be the natural troll design of human life and natural thing that happens in the human life is to live off the glory of god some chapter nineteen says the heavens declare the glory of god that we you behold the sun and the moon and the stars and we stand in all of them and i think that apart from sin in the world world we we would naturally look at the stars of the heavens and not just stop by saying man isn't that awesome but we'd actually connected to the creator peter who created them sin is the thing that keeps us from actually taking that next step and we have people who look at the stars and they look at the creation and they begin begin to worship the creation rather than the creator. That's the effects of sin but we still for the person who's redeemed when we see those things when we see creation we respond with all and glory because we were designed that way and so since then has separated us from that design distorted that that design within us we worship of things but if you are a believer in this room tonight then what god has done inside of us he's reconnected that spiritual unseen part part of who you are to himself so that you can worship god doesn't mean you won't struggle with idolatry and struggle with the worst things other than the god but but he has reconnected you so that you can worship god and you can fix your eyes on him. You can know him but that doesn't mean it'll be easy doesn't mean that you just will naturally drift into worship. You've got to be intentional about directing your heart and your mind towards worship and this means that as you discover your pathway into prayer you should train yourself to begin n. by praising and adoring your father. This should be the starting point of every prayer beginning with praise every every time of prayer every mealtime prayer every every not midnight <hes> or <hes> or putting your kids to better to to bed prayer is to begin by thanking god and praising god and this is what jesus models for us our father in heaven. How would be your name before we jump into that howling of god's name think think about the fact that god i mean that jesus told us to call god our father. This is huge. Our father pastor kent us. He says that jesus transferred bird the fatherhood of god from a theological doctrine into an intense practical experience and he taught his disciples to pray with the same intimacy calling godfather is to call on him as the nourissier protector and upholder of our lives the impulse to call out his father is a sign that we are we are children of got galatian chapter four verse it says and because you are sons got sent the spirit of his son into our hearts crying abba father and so we cry out his father and we say how would be your name now whenever you see mentioned about god's name scripture is not just the title his name is not just god or jehovah y'all way or or else should i or all these other names that scripture of scribes to him. It's not just talking about about the title it's talking about. The name indicates about his character the full picture of his attributes and <hes> in in what he's revealed to us. That's what it's talking about. We talked about his name <music> but he says how would be your name. What does that mean. How would be your name. It means that that your name may be revered may be respected may be lifted attended high and exalted that others may know the attributes of god and gory in them and this is the heart behind psalm one fifteen <hes> verse one where we're the psalmist begins by saying not to us or not us but to your name be the gory right this. This kind of heart is found all throughout scripture that that it that the people who know god others to know about god and it's not just some kind of evangelistic impulse. It's the impulse that everyone needs to know god. Everyone needs to know how awesome he is. How beautiful he is and so the jesus begins with this in a very similar way that charles wesley began when he said over a thousand talk to seeing my great redeemer phrase the glories of my garden king the wonders of his grace charles wesley saying if i had a thousand tongues i'd on us everyone onto singers gory and in his life and his brother's life they showed that they wanted not just the thousand but millions they wanted many many people to be singing the praises of god and didn't know him. That's what jesus teaching us to pray here in this verse. I want your name to be lifted. Hi what's your name to be hallowed to be. Glorified ought to be revered to be respected that others would know the fullness of your attributes with glory in them and so for for us to know his name. His <music> attributes to be able to pray them. We must have them stored in our heart and our mind and say well. I don't i don't have that stored my heart and my mind i can't it just naturally go this long list of attributes and and that's why i would encourage you that there is a hymnal so to speak in the old testament. It's called the psalms. Psalms are the the worship guide of the old testament people hebrew people god's god's covenant people and it still wonderful to be used in those along those lines you can use the psalms as a jumping off point to praise god in psalm chapter two saw him about the the messiah about his ships on sixty seven the one that you that you read is a a a song about the nation's knowing the gory of god that his name would be hallowed among them so i'm chapter one hundred eleven on one fifteen like i mentioned a few minutes ago you can use those as jumping off a jumping off point to praise god and i would encourage you. There's there's plenty of. There's a really good books that you can find you can find old. They're called assaulter p. A. l. t. e. r. assaulter and that's basically people who taken the psalms and made them into a hymn book of worship and they've got guides that you can follow and you can you can start your times of prayer off with those kinds of praise. There's also a really good book. <hes> an old book a puritan prayers called the valley of vision and i worked my way through the valley of vision up until starting january first and it took. Let me all the way up until the first of august or maybe the end of july. It's it's a great just once a day just reading through those and using a jumping off point to praise god and it's helpful to to use the language of others because sometimes our language is really limited and we want to expand vocabulary about the attributes of god and so using assaulter using a valley vision or using the book of psalms a great way to do that or why not begin with the songs that we sang on sunday are your favorite hymns. Do you have a hymn book that maybe you stole from a church one time or something like that you know take that home and flip through it right now telling me to do that. I mean you know honest. Handbook matured goodwill or you got to some other thrift store. You probably found and a hymnal use it use a hymnal. I you say well. I'm not gonna sing by myself. You don't have to sing. I mean you can but but you just speak out those words and you think about it. Great is faithfulness right. Oh god my father. There's no shadow turning with the changes. Not i'm gonna forget it. I'm passionate. They fade not as forever. It will be great faithless. I mean just you can pray those. It's great. It's a great way to begin or just go full on and just memorize the attributes of god and corresponding scriptures. There's so that you can pray them back to him and meditate just soak in them and that's that's the name of jesus beginning that prayer this way but then but then look at first in the very next thing that he praises your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven you see prayer is a meditation upon upon the mission of god upon the mission of god his purpose and his revealed will in the world just as god longs for us to experience the the joy of during his name he also longs for us to meditate on long for what is closest to his heart and can i tell you what is closest to god's heart. God's glory is closest to his heart and people experiencing as that's actually what we read in sixty seven but the nation's glad and sing for joy right because they've seen you because they know you got. This is what you want. You want people to know you because your glory is the most amazing thing it's what we've been wired to behold and love and the long four four and so what is god's will it's that people would know his name and do his will you see god our father is in heaven as its ruler through and there's no contest for his premacy in heaven and jesus teaches us too long for that same thing here as well. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. His will is done in heaven and the child of god and prayer should long for his will to be done in the lives of those people. They're praying for and the situations that praying about on this earth and so how would you describe god's kingdom if somebody asked you here. I was reading the mountain. Jesus is talking about kingdom in fact a bunch of times. The book of matthew jesus is talking about the kingdom. How would you define the kingdom of god well. Let me help away to understand the kingdom of god. According to jesus in this prayer for the kingdom of god is not a place. The kingdom of god is a people the kingdom of god is people knowing god and submitting to worship in their lives his kingdom advances and this is a great mistake. You reason this matters. His kingdom does not advance through geographic dominion right. I mean when you hear people talk about the crusades the retaking of the holy land right right the kingdom of god. There's actually a movie called the kingdom of god with orlando bloom in it and it was all about the crusades because that's what they thought they were doing. They thought that the the kingdom of god had been taken away by the muslims in the ottoman the turks right the these people who would eventually have an empire that these people who were who were who are followers of muhammad and they had taken over the holy land which that's still raging to this day but but the fact of the matter is that viewing the kingdom of god in a wrong way has massive consequences right ideas have consequences about ideas have victims and so so a lot of people think that the the kingdom of god is about geographical dominion muslim still think that and that's why they believe in sharia law and jihad right and so for us though we recognized is that the kingdom of god is not about place. It's about people and it's not just about people on the outside right. Arm amount is about people on the inside and so it's about heart submission to god and to his purposes his his revealed will on this earth jesus hits on this matthew twenty two when he summed up the entire old testament he says you shall love the lord your god with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment in the second is like it you shall love your neighbor as yourself and so this lordship of jesus in our lives. That's what the kingdom of god is all about and here's why that matters recently the idea of offering somebody your thoughts and prayers right as as a condolence for the mass shootings that took place. It's been ridiculed as if it's only in and i'll be honest if it's only lip-service right. There's really no thoughts and prayers if there's no prayers being offered and it should be ridiculed. Jesus would ridicule that kind of your superficial. Will you know expedient religion if you were if he were here <hes> walking in our midst because jesus emphasizes that authenticity and being genuine this this is the trademark of true religion but but i think the primary reason is because people are saying don't just say that when you have the power to do something about it right. I think that's probably the reason they're they're hitting on that but what we need to understand is that genuine prayer gets us to the center of genuine christianity people can people the world can ridicule prayer all they want but the fact of the matter is is that prayer is what genuine christianity a is all about at its core. It's communing with this. God who sent his son to offer us robert daw aw he said this he said prayers ahmadi instrument not forgetting man's will done in heaven but forgetting god's will done on earth and so when we when we say we're praying for people. It's not just some abstracts sentiment. That's not just something that we say. Just get him off our back all right. If we say we're praying for people whether it's mass shooting or it's cancer or for some <hes> some personal situation that they're going for. We should always be diligent to do just that to pray for them and we need to recognize that even <hes> even though people may degrade the power of prayer in this world that for us we cling to the promise that it is not powerless that is not futile but it's not meaningless that it's it's actually the mightiest work that can be done in terms of getting god's will done on this earth why because prayer transforms us from the core four of who we are prayer is a huge part of discipleship and george mueller and we could we could talk about him as a model of prayer this man who ran these orphanages and never or ask for anything he just prayed for it and god provided over over and over again. George mueller said this he said prayer is not about overcoming odds reluctance. It's laying hold live god's willingness. I think that for us it's where we just need to settle down on why we're spending time talking about prayer and while we're talking about how jesus prayed and how we want to pray to because we were called to focus on god i to focus on his character to focus on his purposes when we come to pray it's it's easy for us just to bring our laundry list of requests to him and he does care for those things but he cares more that we should know him to exalt an him to abide biden him so that we can be transformed and then we find his kingdom being fulfilled in advancing through us and i'll just end with his personal example. I've told you often that i think every single day i pray god make me kind of husband that mandy needs the kind of father that gracie and ella lily and mattie needs kind of passer got by baptist church. It's just kind of got you know what they need. I can't see into their hearts. I can't see into the situations that are brewing on the horizon and what the years but i can't see all those things but i know you're there you know them and so make me what i need to be but i recognize that that heart of submission is the starting point of him making me exactly what i need to be and so prayer is my confession of dependence upon him to fulfill that promised to me and to do that work in me and that is i respond not just in prayer but in obedience to the transformation that he's working in me. Guess what's happening. Prayers being answered right. I'm becoming the kind love man that my wife needs me to be. I'm becoming the kind of father that my daughter's need me to be and i'm becoming being the kind of pastor that you need me to be right. This is the that's why this this is. This is why i want to admonish you to pray is because god is doing his work in you got his also doing his work through you as we pray and so with that in mind let us say this lord's. It's prayer together and then after actually after we say it. I'll i'll finish us out in prayer since we said this is a good starting point our father who pardon heaven how it'd be a name kingdom come. I will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors and lead us not in tim tation but deliver us from evil for on the kingdom and the power and the glory forevermore father we dory and you alone because you are got we gory and you'll because you've revealed your will to us and you're inviting us to lay hold of your willingness not to plead with you and your reluctance and so god let us persevere persevere in prayer not because we think that you're unwilling to give but let us persevere in prayer because we recognize that prayer is part of the transforming work that you're working in us or make us this kind of people make us bold and confident in the power prayer and may you receive the glory from all that you work in us and through us as we are becoming these things as we responded obedience to your commands. It's father now. We go pray your blessing on my dear church family. I thank you for them in jesus name amen.

matthew jesus tom ezekiel charles spurgeon charles wesley united states john George mueller tim keller luke egypt martin moore aspirin baptist church muhammad assaulter p. A. l. t. e. r. as sean paul
Triggers/ George

Recovery Happy Hour

48:44 min | 1 year ago

Triggers/ George

"Grab a seat recovery. Happy Hour season for starts. Now Hi guys welcome welcome to recovery happy hour where we talk about life beyond the bottle and what happens after we quit drinking. I'm your host. TRICIA and I'm the one that got away for probably a really important certain reasons so just let it go okay. Thank you for joining me today before we get into today's topic of triggers. I'd like to talk to you about as Stella in dot fashioned party Dan having no just kidding. I WanNa talk to you about the recovery happy. Hour Dallas retreat happening in January. I'm hosting a two day intensive weekend at at the Magnolia Hotel in downtown Dallas January third through the fifth. We're going beyond the bottle what you're drinking over. What's holding you back and how to release set and move forward. We will explore brain spotting. Can suji writing exercises yoga for recovery minded bodywork. QNA sessions motivational motivational talks and more but after two days of intensive work. We're having evenings full of intensive fun night. I'm taking you out for dinners and and social events specific to Dallas Texas to show you that a sober life with authentic connection is more fun than you'd ever imagine. This is a great time of year to give you some inspiration ration- to consider a life without alcohol or add some extra tools to your sober toolbox. If you've already quit drinking tickets are on sale now and I sold through the first first half of them in just a few hours so if you're on the fence about this I'd really encourage you just to go for it while tickets are still available. If you're scared that's normal. I'm all if you're nervous about not knowing anyone thought has also normal but those feelings are going to subside pretty quickly when you arrive because I've seen retreats like this change people's lives. You got nothing to lose and everything to gain so go to recovery happy hour dot com to sign up today for for our introduction today. I wanted to talk about triggers. A trigger is defined as an event or circumstance. That is the cause of a particular action process or situation situation in this context. We're talking about this circumstance. That causes you to want to drink. If you're newly sober you're probably experiencing triggers left and and right and they can be a certain time of day where you used to fixing your first drink. It could be a certain room in your house. That makes you feel like drinking. It could be your office. When you walk in first thing in the morning or person who makes you feel a certain way and you usually sued those feelings with alcohol? Sugars can even be as specific as a certain smell a color. The weather or a song triggers are going to be everywhere. I mean just because you stop. Drinking doesn't mean the the world also stops so these are relatively unavoidable but the first way to conquer them is to recognize them so if you suddenly feel like you want to drink stopping notice what triggered that craving don't focus on the craving itself. Take a step backwards and notice what you were doing wing before that trigger occurred. Maybe even have a place to write it down. As it happens so that you can notice any common threads there are no wrong or stupid triggers bigger by the way don't label them. Just see them for what they are for instance. I used to get triggered by listening to jazz music in my first year of sobriety. I get triggered at the beginning of every change in the seasons because it would remind me of what kind of drink I would have during that season. That's why getting through your first year is so extra hard hard because you have all these additional I to go through and you often don't even know what triggers you until it triggers you when you start to identify these triggers and write them down think about what feeling they bring up to. They make you sad anxious angry. Maybe write that down to and just sit it with it for a minute. Being aware of that feeling isn't going to kill you. It's just going to be uncomfortable at first because you're used to having that triggered good feeling and then pouring alcohol all over it so making the decision to not drink over it is work at first but it gets easier and especially after you've learned the root cause of that trigger something else to remember when you're triggered is this halt H. A. L. T. which stands for hungry angry lonely tired so stop or halt in run down that list. Are you triggered because you're hungry. You're tired. I know those are or my top. Two how about angry or lonely these are intensely common triggers that can slap you in the face multiple times a day but once you identify what they are. It's easier to change your response to them. I still use halt all the time. In fact people who don't have a problem with alcohol can use this tube you because it identifies triggers of just basic unease you know the other day. I was driving to work and I missed my exit and then I got lost in construction traffic. It was really really annoying. I was in this warehouse. District couldn't see anywhere like around me where I was everything was blocked off and I was in such a good mood that warning but but suddenly it got worse and it got worse really fast and then I realized when I was driving that I was also listening to episode of a podcast about the sexual assaults at Woodstock. Let's talk ninety nine and that was super triggering for me so I turned off the podcast to go back to another day when I can handle it. The same thing happened to me again again. When I was listening to another non recovery related podcasts that normally wouldn't have affected me but the episode that day just a terrible head space and I was already tired so I turned it off and that helped I think it's important when you're triggered or if you're going through a particularly anxious or depressive of phase that you pay attention to what information you're taking in. I mean sometimes even just doing service work and helping other people with their sobriety can be a big big trigger for me and I realize I'm giving too much without replenishing my own energy. I have to make a judgment call and fill up my cup before I can go back to helping so be mindful and aware of what you're looking at on social media and listening to on podcasts and music sometimes those triggers can be really quiet quiet and insidious until suddenly they're not so don't be afraid to go do some inventory and take a break from things that are too much for you to handle and stay healthy with your recovery. You can always come back to it. Triggers are also super temporary so if you're triggered by Frank Frank Sinatra music because it makes me wanNA shake Martini's. That's my story well. That's great you figure that out but I don't think that that means you need to avoid Frankie okay forever and that his voice is ruined for you. You can just take a break until you're feeling stronger and then go back to it later and see how you feel then nothing's permanent trigger it doesn't mean you need to make a drastic decision either. If you're feeling triggered. Don't take that as an indicator that you need to throw up your hands and say fuck it or fuck. This person because it's too heart in fact being triggered a terrible time to make decisions so again. Just sit with it and figure out why you're feeling that way. Don't do anything major. Just be with it and then write it down. You'd be surprised at how marking these notes down on a calendar and then looking back on them can quickly help you realize where you could make some simple adjustments and then there's that ever present trigger of people. Some people are huge huge triggers. Some trigger parts of you that are deep and dark and secret and some are just drinking buddies. Who Make you WANNA keep doing that. You know going out and drinking with your buddies and I don't think that breaking off every relationship that triggers you is a good idea. You can't run from everything but if you need to take a break from simple triggers old friends that were drinking buddies trigger you. That's totally normal. I also think you should tell them that. You're not drinking and at least give give them the opportunity to support your choice. People aren't mind readers so they won't know if you don't tell them but don't lose hope. If you have to go dark for a while because people people trigger you and you really want to get sober the good ones will always come back and the ones who aren't going to help you well. That's just friendship Darwinism. Doing its thing trust that process before we get into today's interview. If you'd like to support the podcast please follow out recovery happy hour on Instagram and facebook doc you can leave a rating or a review on the podcast APP. You're listening to or you can donate by visiting recovery. Happy Hour Dot com a big thanks to Garrett for your donation and last week thanks G and also today's interview is with the owner of rethink ice cream and before we get into his story go check out the giveaway happening on Instagram instagram today. One lucky winner will receive a case of rethink ice cream shipped to your door. Rethink is a new kind of ice cream that has less sugar her very little dairy and added protein dairy and I don't get along but this ice cream has no negative effect on me whatsoever and no lie way. It tastes incorruptible. Okay I get sent a lot of free stuff to try but this one by far tops the list and I was a pastry chef for a decade so if there's one thing I know well it's ice cream so head over to instagram follow out recovery happy hour enter that giveaway all right today today we got George the founder and creator of rethink ice cream he lives in northern California and quit drinking seven years ago and has really embraced the spiritual path. He's found in sobriety sobriety. Let's get to it hi George. How're you hurt your sermon great. Thanks for having me course so psyched to have here for happy hour really appreciate it excited to get no. Oh you the man who makes the ice cream. Let's dive right into this. If you would tell me and the audience surprise date and would you describe yourself as a higher auctioning drinker sobriety date was March fourth two thousand twelve and I was a high functioning alcoholics and addicts for the most part for thirty years until I crossed over the the line where my usage became less impulsive and more compulsive than at that point might functionality began to wane pretty quickly until I get a wall. We are going to get into that here here. Just a second in the meantime. Tell me a little bit about you. Where you live how old you are what you do for a living hobbies anything like that sure so I'm a resident of Napa California Beautiful Napa. A lot of people ask me is it hard living in Napa gain an alcoholic and I remind them that there's a liquor liquor store on every corner in every town so I I look at the grapevine a little differently these days I look at them as a thing of beauty and not necessarily source of wine so I'm almost fifty nine and have a wife who for whatever reasons stuck with me through all the travails and I've got two beautiful female cavalier puppies that are you know recovery beings from either great spiritual experience a help. Keep me in the present. I'm an entrepreneur and I have a couple all different businesses but my primary one is making ice cream for a healthy lifestyle so it's an ice cream brand called rethink ice cream and it's it really was born out of my recovery and so I know we're GonNa talk about that later. But that's my primary occupation. I love that and if as an entrepreneur myself I know that sometimes it is difficult to make the decision of do I come out and affiliate my recovery with my my business because yours are sort of one in the same like your story is right there on the side of the ice cream carton so we'll get into that in a little bit but I just I love that you went all in and that that part of your life is part of the brand. I think it's brilliant. I think so forward thinking and also the ice cream tastes really really good you too so there's that lurk. You're required you like. I loved. It loved it cool. We'll let let's it back in the past for about five minutes and if you WanNa tell us your story in a nutshell how long he drank how long it was a problem and why you decided to stop work most people that I've spoken with that are in recovery and are alcoholics or addicts. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I say for ninety plus percent of the people that I talked to a lot of that discomfort traces back to childhood and minded as well lot of physical discipline in my home. I moved about every year 'cause my dad's career and there was some sexual abuse that happened for some from some older boys in my neighborhood so combination of all of that I was pretty good and uncomfortable in my own skin didn't realize it you know but I did have some anger issues biting of the nails wedding the bed that type of thing which were clearly signals that I was you know uncomfortable. I was a good boy until I was eighteen and went to college. General Hell broke loose one of my first nights. I got drunk on Whiskey for the first time ever being drunk and never looked back. I just remember how good I felt not so good the next morning but that night I certainly talked good all all the discomfort went away and and and I proceeded to have that be my solution for my discomfort for the next thirty plus years you know I was high functioning. very career oriented did well in my career. I guess you call me bender. you know I could go for periods of days without using or drinking but then it was all land once I did start right around my fiftieth birthday. I crossed over this line. I didn't realize I was approaching where my it was. No longer decision a mind whether I wanted to use I had to use and it was almost like a sponge full and I had consumed everything thing I was going to be able to consume in my life and I hit a wall and I at the end I was you know taking fifty pain pills a day and drinking two bottles of vodka odd can I just simply could not stop waking up in the middle of the night every two hours just to have to put more booze or pills in me to get go back to sleep and it was just a mess culminated in a rainy October April weekend where I tried to kill myself and receives whatever strengthen needed at that moment to get through that weekend and into Rehab the following Monday that started a process of a couple couple differ rehabs until I finally got sober the following finally sober the following March any lived to tell two bottles of vodka and fifty pain pills a day menu. You're literally land yeah. I've got a picture in my phone hitting my bottom and I look at it you unclearly frequently just as a reminder what it was like and we're have come from and how quickly it would be. Go back to that place. If I got got off the path and it's nope no place I want to go back to. I know this is maybe different than some other people look at it but I really look at my recovery beginning. the moment. I stepped into that first Rehab because I am most people you know tie their recovery to the date eight that they got sober but it was a little uneven for me at the beginning. I didn't really have a plan. I just hit hit wall. It was almost like one of those mazes that that you walk into and you're turning left right looking for every different possible way that you can continue to drink in years and you get to the end of the maze and you're just just at a wall and there are no more terms and that's kind of where I was so I didn't have a plan I just I we I was literally going to die either by very own volition or not or I just had to do something different and and I received the strength from what was to become what I would realize. It's my higher power to summon the strength to make that other choice choice but I didn't have a plan. I just went with it and it was awfully humbling. I had always been able to call my own shots. Shots have life under my own control and it was a moment in time where I had to give up. I had to surrender and give it up and Dan just kind of go with it and so I didn't really have a plan. I just knew that I couldn't continue going the direction that I had been going. What is your what is your quote. Unquote program look like like in that first year that you were in recovery and up until March when you quit altogether. What was that program like for you. If you came out of treatment I would assume that they had you in twelve step meetings was that was that what life was like in that first first year. Oh yeah so I you know different. Different rehabs are better or worse at actually incorporating you into a twelve step a program. Most of them will kind of guide you through the first steps the first three steps. Excuse me I actually went for sixty st days and I worked my first eight step. So when I came out I was ready to start making amends I had coup is to become on my sponsor actually came into the Rehab and spoke and I went up to him after the speaking engagement and I asked him to be my sponsor and we intensively work steps us for those sixty days 'cause I treated that as as my job at getting well and so I went after it full-fledged which just kind of how I go after things anyway. We're all excited people. That's for sure yeah. Don't we don't spend a lot of time in the middle. That's that's where most in life is exactly away from the highs in the loans the the final missing piece which allowed me to get sober auburn stay sober was this spiritual connection and like a lot of people. I think what I was missing is the ability to open open my heart. My heart had been closed ever since MOE those childhood years when I had been hurt so badly a shut my heart closed because I just didn't want to have my feelings hurt anymore and so trying to get the heart of spiritual experiences heartfelt experience and so in order to have that happen for me. I had to somehow prime IHEART Open. I just didn't realize that in so oh I met the final rehab that I went to had a counselor who actually glint have worked with me on how to do that and and what it what what was that allowed me to finally get that done was to activate my heart through images and feelings that the very emotional state and then I was able to pry my heart open and begin to create that portal to God where I could do some exchanging of feeling and and so that was the beginning of my Myanmar standing of how to create a spiritual connection but it took awhile and so I I work established. I did everything I was told but my heart still was not opened until I was able to do that and and trading create an open channel through an open heart and allow my soul to to be graced by God I didn't understand what a spiritual experience connection was an experience was and that and then I just had to practice it and that's you know spiritual experiences all about practicing. It's all about you know being in that moment where you're you're having that relationship with God through an open heart and it's a daily thing I do and that's really what my recovery is. All about is is living according to God's principles. you know treating others the way. I want to be treated being kind and compassionate trying to help others every when I when I help somebody I get a deposit into my into my soul which is my spiritual bank and that swells me up with goodness and I keep doing that through a daily daily programmers part of my daily program. I feel so good about myself that that might just comfort goes away. I spent a lot more time down inside myself as opposed to in my head where all the were the danger is way for my eek and that's where it's safe for me and so I I just constantly try to stay in that place. do good for others in great shape my soul so good about myself and I see them as a result. I have no need to want to use her drink drink because I know that everything will land at that point if I want to do that. I don't even feel the desire because I do feel so good about. I'm curious. You talked about you. You know the ability to open your heart came from you set from like photos images and basically were you learning how to feel oh again. We've got a few things and how to identify feelings exactly right there. You know it's so interesting that like for those of us that drank to numb like you know ninety nine percentage alcoholics which like we drink because we don't WanNa feel pain and anytime you do that you also now all of the good stuff to now. You just don't feel anything because all you have felt was pain and so you just haven't learned especially when the trauma happens at an early the h you you haven't really learned how to monitor and regulate any of that and you have no idea why you're uncomfortable and see you just you just close your heart and you know then what you're left with. has all this noise going on up in your head and that's why that's where the that's where the depression is and so. I think that's why you know a lot of a string canoes because we just want that noise to stop and we have learned how to feel go back down and open our hearts and and live life from our souls because we've closed all that often often so we we just have no idea how to access it. No one's taught us and what happens once we finally do learn to do that and and we spend a little time maybe with a therapist all of this I liken it to a tea kettle where for years and years all this stuff has been bubbling doubling up inside this tea kettle and it's got nowhere to let off steam and then finally you know the spout opens and you know we work with a therapist and all all this stuff comes gushing out. We spent a lot of time crying and I just I mean I just cried and cried and cried at RIA is a great way for me to heels by understanding okay. You were traumatized advertised. You know you have. PTSD and you have these other conditions which are what is making you uncomfortable and so it's understandable and so I felt some relief around that and then I just had to understand what the path forward look like and how and how going to live life day to day and that's you know through this open heart and and from my soul the the key thing is trying to get is once you've done the exercises assizes in and you begin to feel some level of reward from practicing that is then continuing to do it getting better at it feeling more reward and then you begin to say okay well. I'm beginning to feel better in in brief moments events and then he just work at it those moments get a little longer and then you but you have to work at it in and feel the result and say okay okay. I'm going to begin to do more of this. I'm sorry to interrupt that just brings up a really important question like as you start to feel better in sobriety and and you get that physical reward then some days the world comes crashing down doesn't feel guide. What were you doing in those moments when you were triggered or how to craving like what was your like emergency can't will. I the first thing is awareness and recognition of what's happening to you and that's again. It was very important for me to understand physiologically psychologically what was happening to me at certain moments because I could then go back to that and say okay well. This says what's happening in its natural and this is what I need to do to resolve it so things for me. Were like exercise. you know I I I have my two animals cavalier puppies that are variants for mental for me. 'cause you go spend some time with an animal and and there there's there's nothing that's more in the present than an animal because they don't care center care about what happened yesterday. What's going to happen tomorrow. They're just grateful for what's happening right then and there and so you know I think most of us recognize that these cravings come and go and they last for thirty to sixty seconds and if you you can just go do something maybe that activates your heart where you can then get away because that noise that craving is happening early days as is happening in your body but more than not it's happening in your head and so if you can escape your head and go to a safe place which is in your soul through an open heart I find that stuff still happens today where I don't crave but I get uncomfortable because you know life's events happen mm-hmm. You know it makes you uncomfortable because life is uncomfortable out of the story and none of us are immune to feeling pain. They all have to feel a little bit. It's just the rules and yeah you can't Cherry. Pick what you catch up with you. It sounds like you you so you clearly know like what the root cause was what the drinking was a symptom of and the trauma the PTSD in in that feeling of just being uncomfortable in your own skin a like having such a clear grasp on that right now. I'm I'm sure that it didn't take you some time to get there. At what point in your recovery did you start to put those pieces together. While I was very fortunate. The Rehab I went to I worked with a psychiatrist and did a lot of testing and she helped explain what had happened and then I worked with a lot of therapists and psychologists that were able to draw a lot of this out of me and as I told the stories and I cried I found that I wouldn't shut up I mean I I just wanted to let it go and then you you just gradually begin to feel better and I spent a lot of money on therapy and and I just said I would come out a therapy session and I would feel better because I had unloaded and so I just paused in that moment and I said Hi feel better as a result of what just occurred. Maybe I should do more of that. There's no healer lifetime as long as you're staying in action and you're trying to do the right things and you're trying to get better and you are you. Don't get better all by yourself. You have to work at it and WanNa and I just I love that. You're such a huge proponent of therapy. I I am as well. I couldn't have done any of this for the last few years without a great therapist and that's something I always like distress to people. It's like get a sponsor that you trust. Yes go to Charleston meetings. Do whatever you need to do but also talked to a licensed mental. Health professional like those are the people that can really give you like the guided tour around your brain well. That's exactly right. I mean if you go to a twelve step program Graham. They're not gonNA you know you're not. GonNa spend a lot of time talking about you know the psychology of how you ended up uncomfortable but for me it was very very important to understand why I was uncomfortable onto flat out with somebody and another interesting tidbit to my story. Is You know my father was instrumental in my not only my discomfort but also in my recovery and it was kind of just a symptom symptom and function of the way the kids were raised back when I was a kid and you know they were just doing the best they could but a lot of that was harmful and he was I knew that in order for me to get better I needed to confront him for lack of a better way of saying it about what had happened and so he joined me in therapy for too long sessions and we hashed all the way through it and you know he was very contrite and wanted to do anything he could to try to make things right but just the just the ability to talk to him about what I felt. It happened why it ended up the way I had ended up because I felt breath shame shame for you know his son being fifty year old and ending up in the condition it ended up and I knew that he and my mother replayed apart He was just very kind and compassionate and help made through that even just listening and understanding was really a lot of what I needed. Let's talk talk about what life has really been like as you've recovered and then you know the story on the side of the ice cream carton talking about how you had to start rethinking in everything especially in you know talk to me about when you sort of when you put that connection together about these new healthy principals in this new recovered life well it's you you know it's a gradual process. I think you get on the path of the path to recovery the path to spirituality the path to enlightenment and it's a never ending journey. You know you never get fully to me. You know being fully recovered would be somebody that is completely spiritually enlightened so. I know that I'll never get there but I'm GonNa Practice the principles and try to become the best version of myself that I can and so that is that's what what recovery is to me. It's not about drinking or not drinking. That's simply the price of admission that gets you into the concert but that that wasn't enough of a goal for made just say okay well. I didn't drink today. That's not interesting enough for me. What is interesting for me is to be the absolute best version of myself myself that I could be so I've experienced enough of feeling better about myself through the you know God's principles practicing God's principles that that I've got enough of a high off of that that I'm thinking to myself wow I'd like to go as far down this path and be the the best version of myself that I can be just trying to have as good a day as I can that day and hopefully you know however many years from now I I am better than than I am today and so that's I read a lot of books on spirituality a lot of books on psychology. What are a couple of your favorites. I've I just got from behind me. I'm reading a book now called I think it's called the gift kindness you John and I I can get into one of these books and you know I just I feel better just reading the words and and so I just it's almost like one of my recovery tools is reading these boxes because I just feel better just having the words go through me and it's just a reminder of you know how I need to lead my life and there may be you know tidbits of information. I pick up that I wanNA employ but I just find the EGO is so strong and and that's where the attic lives that constantly is looking for an opportunity to pull you out of your soul back into where it wants you to be where it can run the roost because I I look at myself as this you know double colon angel but in really it's the ego and the soul and there are at odds with each other and I wanna stay firmly in rooted in my soul role in the egos constantly wanting to pull me back up into this place where it's in control and were it's never enough. It always wants more and why don't I have this. Why why don't I have added. Why is this happening to me in you know at a moment's notice when it's happening to me and I'm being pulled in different directions. I want to recognize what's happening and I WANNA be Ella. Bulla have complete control over myself where I can do whatever I need to do to get myself back in that place where I belong. Have you read any terror brock's books. I don't believe I have the way when I hear you talking about is just Just do it so tear Brock B. R. A. C. H. The radical acceptance is the book that I read in early sobriety that just totally it just changed everything for me such an amazing big picture perspective on just the just the the principles of the universe you know that's such a good one. was there like a game changing one like in early sobriety that you that you read that really just blew your mind and you know while the the books new earth was really the power of now. Taylor Hon away leap from darkness spirituality of imperfection by Ernst currents than the series of books and I'm going to butcher the name but not Han anger. There's a bunch of different books by and she's a Buddhist and then Egos the on Amoebae Ryan holiday ultimately check it out and put some links on their anyone's. I mean books like that are such great tools to add anybody's ladies. Recovering portfolios awfully stalled as if anyone's looking for anything new to read Tummy what a day in the life is like for you now like from the time you get get up until you go to bed. What is your day like. Compare that to what it was like. You know ripe for you went to that. I treatment in there. so. I've I've started this business and so I work a lot so I will work mark seven days a week I don't know how many hours a week but it's a lot now that is generally not prescribed as a great recovery vehicle because you know working in action and it can be but here's the thing about my business so rethink ice cream about rethinking my life and so I I I have created this business in order to get back and help others on a on a grand scale so this is a recovery business. It's is not a business to You know self ingratiate myself. So the idea here is that I will create resources. It's through this business ultimately selling it and be able to help a lot of people with the resources that are created so that's the that's the motivator for the soil. Every day I wake up and we and we have a lot of people along the way we do a ton of school fundraising we do a ton of charity already work so we donate a lot of our time and labor and ice cream to worthy causes so you know recovery recovery is woven through the mission of our business so when I work a lot it's to the ends of towards helping the people so beyond that I'm very careful about what I put into my body of foodwise and I work out a lot look after my own wellbeing in that way and I try to be a good partner to my wife and I take care of our puppies garden and I you know I haven't been to as many twelve step meetings as I it had been a part part of my program for quite a while I was going to multiple meetings a week sponsoring men kind of loosely still sponsor one guy but I just don't have enough time right now to do that to the degree that happen but I I I help a lot of other people other ways and that's really the root of what makes me feel about myself. which Kinda my my new juice Dana life like seven years ago it was ugly breath waking up at if I ever really went to sleep waking up at six forty five so I could get to writing by seven o'clock to catch it when on the doors open so I could get my vodka for the day heightened bought vodka bottles all over the place thinking I was full on my wife who was just I was scaring the Jesus out of her and radic behavior and you know in and out of detox in and out of Dave is just a mess you know getting on phone? Conference calls have ripped. Try Not to stutter my words see you know and everybody knew what was going on getting into a fight with my neighbor just hold on for dear life and knowing that knowing that the Wisconsin and I didn't know how to avoid it and had no idea how to stop could not stop because every you the you know the drugs and alcohol working anymore. It was just all they were doing was just stopping the shakes. wasn't really get much of a buzz off at that's that's hard to do. I'll fifty pain pills a day. Mock it buzz Dr Driving Multiple Times a week an hour into San Francisco to meet the dealer to buy another few hundred pain pills. That might get me through the week. paying you know eight bucks a pill and then you can just do the math. I mean it was just ridiculous. I like the first story a lot better. That's for sure I like you know. I'm just like unlike one sounds really nice and one sounds awful. I like the Nice One. The one one is exhausting. Let's just all the work all of the work that goes into it. You know it's insane. It's absolutely answer and we will wear. Let's let's let's move ahead to today. I mean where did you get this idea for the ice cream in in how to integrate recovery into what what this is all about well like a lot of people when you stop drinking and using your body is suddenly absent all the sugar that was in the alcohol so your body's screaming out for anything else. That's going to make it comfortable so a lot I will eat sweets and so I was a ton of sugar and you know a lot of cookies a lot of ice cream and and putting on weight I was trading addictions and that you know this was not sustainable either so after a ton of got my feet underneath me with just recovery in general and not not drinking and using a several why don't I apply these tools that I've learned to you know what I'm putting it in my body as far as food goes and so I you know the were rethink comes from rethinking everything including what I put into my body so I couldn't find an ice cream that I liked that. It was healthier but still tasted good because most of the healthier ice creams are kind of icy Chaki area texture. Well just one thing led to another and that's what led to rethink was creating reading a a healthier ice cream that tasted great had great authentic taste and texture yet was a lot more responsible to your well being and so but again the the real premise behind it was to get back and help others hopefully by building the company creating resources and being able to do that but we I think we've created a really great ice cream that people love. They don't Miss Anything in terms of taste texture but it's a lot more responsible. It's half the calories two-thirds less sugar and CARBS KITO friendly locally CMEC and then we added a bunch of health benefits like high levels of way islip protein. It's got Green Green. Tea Extract has got fiber so it's a real healthy lifestyle product. That just happens to be a great tasting ice cream. Yeah that that second part. It just happens to be a great hasten ice cream. It's bomb like it is so I actually when I got the email from you guys. I was like well you know someone offered to send it to me and I was like why can't really eat ice cream unlocked intolerant and they said we actually you know talk to people that are sensitive to dairy in any issues with it so when I tried it I was like Cam. I'm just GONNA try a little bit and see what happens. Everything's fine still good and then that's when like the you know the second half of the carton disappeared so and no problems sounds like the whole dairy thing like that blows my mind. I had no issues with that. It's great. I'm act- We're actually working on a an advance version now. We're GONNA take all the lactose out of it. That's kind of a little news flash for you there. We're not we're not done yet but we're working on it so we're excited the you'll be able to you'll be able to be like me a pie tonight. Okay I dare accepted my God well where can we. Where can we find these where can order them? And where can you learn more about you and the company so our website is rethink ice cream dot. US in our social media handle is at rethink ice cream on all the platforms We do sell ice cream on our website. If you're not in in particularly Northern California we we sell it throughout California and Utah but we have a big presence here in northern California retailers you can find it out or the bigger ones are nugget. Molly Stone wholefoods rallies draggers KNOB. Hill Bel they are and then in southern California. It's Gilson's Lazy Acres and Utah Harman's but again we do sell it online as well. If you're not one of those areas so good so good guys go go. Check it out if you're interested in a healthy alternative. You're rethinking your decisions on wait. Put Your Body a highly. I've done the tasting. I highly recommend this. This is so good last question if somebody he doesn't know where to start. They know they've got a problem. They know they need to stop. They don't know where to begin. What would you tell them you go. Check out a twelve step meeting for sure the the the biggest thing I think is that there is a solution. I know it's hard to envision the tardy graphs that was the hardest thing for me is that you know I was in Rehab. They'd have speakers come in that. Would you know talk about and I could see it in their eyes. How good life was for them but you're sitting sitting there and you're just miserable. detoxing and you just cannot believe what life is. GonNa look like without alcohol drugs so I you know I know it's trite to say but I can assure you that there's a better life on the other side. You just have to get into a program. twelve step program really helped me work with a sponsor to everything that they tell you to do and you know you but you have to one. You know it's just not. GonNa come automatically. You have to be totally surrendered to the fact that you just can't live this life anymore. and better things await on the other side. Sassa Chow George. Thank you for sitting down with me and just taking the time to to share your story to tell us a little but more about what you're contributing to the recovery world we. It's been awesome getting to know you pleasure. I'm so grateful to that. You'd have me and I just hope that any of my words. It's might resonate with one person I guarantee you. They will so thank you walk. That's all for today. Everyone thank you so much for having happy hour with me feed. I'd like to check out any links mentioned in the episode Goto Recovery Happy Hour Dot com for the show notes. That's also where you can donate or register for the DALLAS RETREAT in January. I'd I'd love five star rating and review if you're listening on Itunes as that helps get the word out about the show. I'll see you next week when we dive further into life beyond the bottle all and it's a life worth living see annex time recovery happy hour is not affiliated with any twelve step programs treatments honors ars organizations but you've heard our interviewees talk about specifics that help them get sober. Try Whatever is right for you and your success in recovery as a disclaimer. I do not endorse Dorsey general or specific treatments or diagnoses. y'All I'm not a guru so please talk to your doctor. Your trusted medical professional for advice under treatment decisions feel

Rehab California Dallas Dan Sassa Chow George Napa Magnolia Hotel Instagram PTSD Texas TRICIA Frank Frank Sinatra Stella H. A. L. T. Rethink Myanmar facebook Brock B. R. A. C. H. Woodstock
End of the Road

The Friend Zone

2:01:17 hr | 5 months ago

End of the Road

"Right now the last thing you need to worry about is your sexual and reproductive health care. That's why planned. Parenthood is here with you wherever you are by phone or video. Their medical professionals can provide birth control information and care STI testing and treatment emergency contraception and more planned. Parenthood knows your care. Can't wait not now ever book telehealth appointment with a planned. Parenthood DOCTOR OR NURSE TODAY. Learn more at planned. Parenthood dot org slash telehealth. That's planned parenthood dot Org Slash T. E. L. E. H. E. A. L. T. H. local finance friends. All I'm Ross. This is the zone. And here's the news that you can use first up. You say bolt mouth. Having asked Takashi six nine announced that he is donating two hundred thousand dollars to the no Kid Hungry Foundation. The No kid hungry foundation announced that the deal is off. It was supposed to be a secret but he then told everybody next Princeton University names. It's VALEDICTORIAN STUDENT. Nicholas Johnson. The first Black Valedictorian in. It's two hundred seventy four year history because of this. At this year's commencement address they are happy to allow Nicholas to refer to their schools history as to seventy four and finally trick daddy and Trina have announced that they will be hosting their own hit for hit battling instagram live. The rules however state that art music must be to you and not come from television so unfortunately trick daddy will not be able to play his greatest hit the good times theme song. Think why you think name was Florida? You Know Trinidad even Reverend Florida. That's why it's district anyway. Welcome to the weekly looking things mental health minute wellness and mental hygiene. Because who the hell wants a musty brain? I know I don't neither do these. Two sends the rest of you. Hey friend how you doing? I'm amazing how you guys today looking at cute. Thank you were silence a home glow. No my silence. Is Tom Delay? Okay the over here wait. Oh my God. This has affected everything in every way at the Internet was telling me the Internet company when I finally got to talk to them for the Little Time. I got to talk to them so they now the everybody's at home there's going to be all sorts of little bullshit happen. I'm just tired I'm tired. I don't want it to happen anymore. So is going to be all sorts of bullshit happening and now that everybody home like not paying your Internet bill especially if you get bad service. Shit. I'm at home. I can't go to work so I got for other ones said it was going to be a Lotta Shit happening. Ain't got the nerve to go up on the bill. Apparently I had a promotion that just in the bill went up and the Internet service quality went down. I was like this doesn't make sense less seriously talk. Well I mean you have to wait on the phone for three days and when I tell you wait I have tweeted. I have deemed I have. I'm opposed to every tall white person and get customer service going because that really is the most effective way to die when he does that anytime. I go on twitter and I see that big survey. Oh Lord who is trying to get attention Tom on speaking of going on twitter. I just opened up to at your uncle. What's happening. Why did you post that Souille? I'm just saying he has some good with it about to go right now. This is a live tweet. Review from Dustin live suite of my uncles. What's APP picture now? Free came from some good stock. Very we back is going to be so gassed love comments. I can't even take it. He's at the mouth. All of this show Franco was free. Is Ghost from power. Why does someone call him? Billy Demo Hey picked up there whatsapp. Call Okay. Another grab me dead. She was he talking to family on. Sorry now sure I was like what is this. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I listen I would love to sit down with him. Get some tips about getting wisdom. You know what I mean. Reflections of the way life used to be or his case still is okay. Young Dominican men I travel. I can't even deal with that. Be His big share on a family. Act You guys have any announcements before we jump into this week's episode announcement Apple Follow up question. I guess I should wait for the recap for this actually now have. Did we figure out how to Pronounce Elon? Musk child's name. I saw a few different theories and mad at the name has been theorized. There's not been a confirmation. I haven't heard it from Ilan or the Mama the artists known as grime. I've not heard either. One of them said everything else has been speculation people. Tell me pronounce Cayo. They were conversation right. You know right where we left it at and I ain't been thinking about a little more focused. I thought about I robot since we talked about this last week. Good but I'm actually glad you brought that up because on let me pull it up so that I get the information burke so apparently on. Cbs N the Space Force. Just dropped their first. Recruitment commercial on television. The space and attack and the tagline is. Maybe your purpose on this planet isn't on this planet us. Someone sent that to me. And was like Willow Willow wrote this so as much as Y'all laugh at our space talks and our robot talks in our you know conspiracy theories your keep seeing she keeps popping up. 'cause we just said that last week about Them having influencers are going to start promoting this I guarantee you celebs is going to become a campaign and is going to be to entice you to leave on the space program and the fact that they just dropped the recruitment video of this week. We just had the convoy last week. I'm telling you I'm on the website right now. Looking like base force DOT Mil. This is like a real. You buy things happening really want you to decide so I don't even use my space going my quick announcements a couple May. I don't even remember. How long ago was I did? A collaboration with Radio Tovia. They have a podcast called adult dish. And it's hosted by NYS way. I'M GONNA make sure I'm saying they might tie you could edit here. It's hosted by is and Merck and we had a conversation about marriage was pretty awesome because it was a round table. So they had millennials from all different spectrums. Some young some old some from small towns from big cities different races different genders was cool. Because you know how I feel about marriage if you don't listen to the episode so it was cool to bring my thoughts on there and especially 'cause allows them a young and still eyed and bushy tailed about it so it was cool to share perspectives with them and also. I jumped on Mars Jones. Your purpose in this marriage is in this divorce divorce Mike. Creating God it. I'm starting to Hashtag divorce force okay. I'm built we get in the fuck are. Hashtag is getting the fuck out. Maybe this planet so I also jumped out coherency nightly which is Mouse Jones News. Show new. Podcast you can check a snippet out on his instagram which is just mouse Jones. It was cute. We had a conversation about mental hygiene and toxicity and the love and light movement. How real it is and just even how trauma takes up space and a lot of our lives and yeah no muskets down so very interesting to have with. Assure was a happy mother's Day to mouthiest strong of strong black mother. Happy Mother's Day miles. I really forgot to mention to you. Happy Mother's Day though. Yeah I can't say that sits a list jump into this week's black business showy or is it the blackest it is the blackest. Their lack woman owned hand sanitizer Gel. How cool is that you guys? A company is called Xsara Botanical Beauty. That's I X. O. Is A it's owned by. Mercedes edney. It launched in two thousand twelve founded in Saint Croix but its current currently a north carolina-based business The sanitizer according to her website is made up of seventy percent ethyl alcohol and offers moisturizing benefits to keep your hands from drying out too much which has been a big problem with people constantly washing their hands constantly sanitizing and not moisturizing as much. So the second ingredient I was looking at the ingredients is aloe getting a lot of the health benefits. Moisturizing benefits from there Once again that's EXORB- B. B. I. X A B B Dot Com. I think it's cool that it's black owned it's a woman she's from the islands down is generational right because you said she uses ethyl alcohol. So that's like her grandmother's recipe the alcohol they use in it or no my misery bias. Like a generational thing I ETHEL. Ethel's alcohol right. It's like grandmothers famous alcohol. Boom Boom Mercedes. You can feel me. She'd been here doing her thing weeks or Mercedes and honestly if you check the site. She has a lot of skin-care she has these dope Bars of soap. That I've bought from her several times myself and I can really co-sign the Ho- side as a whole because like you said she's been out here. She's licensed so all her skin care tips online coming from studied. I can't even speak today. My brain is like moving a little bit slow alcohol. She's licensed she has studied. This is our graft so she someone that you definitely want to take advice from when it comes to skincare. She also does consultations by the way. If you are someone who is having some skin care issues and don't even know where to start or what issues she can help you customize a regimen just for your particular skin care needs so definitely check her your nasty ass over there to her head. What's the website? Gets you a nasty filthy finger ass over there? What's the website for the hand? Sanitizer friend I am going on. I mean it's eighties. Edney and the website is bb. Abe Dot COM CHEETO fingernail. Having mother fuckers over the exorb- bb right now. So that's it for this week's black business. Are you ready to jump into the RECAP SEGMENT CO? Yes so last week's episode titled Good Kid Mad City. We got into is psychology bag. A discussion around the discussion was going on around the dangers of being raised as the good kid in the household and the mental and emotional challenges that appear later in life as a result as always those of you listening had a lot to say who stood out to you. Asante out to me Excuse me that's how I know that the Lord is stopping me from San what I was. GonNa say just a lot of baggage a lot of our triggered understandably so I feel like whenever we do like a good ass episode. Everybody's like I had to take a good look and everybody did As far as what stood out to me there are too many to choose from. This was like a rock paper scissors situation. So I'm GonNa go this gentleman who I'm going to keep anonymous but basically it says this episode really changed my life. I was always a good slash sneaky kid. I always got away with doing things. That what. What is a sneak? Here no sneak out. That may you was bad. But it's only you got caught so bad now right initiative later trying to deceive us. What is that true yes? I'll contained I got married to excuse me. Well let me just password. I was got away with doing things because I knew how to keep up appearances. I got married to a great woman even though I was not in love with her mother loved her Tan Right. My mother loved her and told me I wouldn't find a woman like her ever again up until I was married. I always had multiple women on the side. There fulfilled me where my wife lacked but once I was married and faithful I realized the magnitude of my people pleasing has led me to a life. That didn't feel like my own. The kisses were highly and sex was a chore. Even the outside looking live the perfect life. I've never been in love and thought there may be a sociopath for this episode of showed me that I'm not. I just have been faking for so long. I don't know how to be real. I feel I felt horrible about getting a divorce but this episode showed me that. If I'm ever going to be the best version of myself I I have to find myself as wow as much as it was. It was through like divorce voice. All right we got our first member of course for US right here. I'm not to say that you know. We appear trying to break up happy homes but if you know that you need to leave a situation because you're probably more toxic in it there are plot that and I appreciate that. So thank you for sharing. You didn't say to keep your animals but did because I wasn't sure if that's what you need it but just thank you for sharing friend. What did you find? Did you find anything in those soundcloud streets or have you been swerving on them? I mean I'm GONNA be honest. You guys emailed me so. Dm's and sweets. And I mean even people. I personally no texting me so I was like. Whoa the episode. Definitely like you said Asante triggered a lot of people but in a good way I think yes I personally and this is my opinion. I find sugars to be very useful because it just kind of highlights where you need a little more love into. That's how I perceive it. Obviously you may perceive it how you do but it was nice to the people were like well. I didn't ever think of it that way or like the person said in the email they just assume they were a sociopath or something is wrong with them. As opposed suggest how they'd been conditioned to disassociate with their in tuition and just don't even know who they are so love all the conversations that came out of it as hard to pick honestly Bronwyn ago with DJ Reams Dope on soundcloud. They said being labeled the good kid is trash never realized because of that label avoided expressing myself a lot as a child and adult. It was to avoid conflict with people but because of that is caused me to have built up anger in situations where should have spoke my mind up more so now. I'm looking at myself differently. And we'll start addressing things on the spot that was. I'm actually Grad. Dj Rim said that. Because a lot of you are asking like well now that we know that about ourselves. How do we fix it? How do we fix it? That was a lot of the emails I received. I am not a licensed professional so I don't feel comfortable telling you how to fix it. I think it'd be good for you to meet with someone if possible. And they can create a customized treatment plan based on what you've been through But if you're asking me how I fixed it. Which is all that I can share. Is that a kind of similar to the story. I read with grace where she said. Her parents no longer glowed as much when they are. We laughed at that but the reality is that's one of the ways to combat it. Start being comfortable with disappointing people who have expectations of you. That don't align with your own once you know you're GonNa get your parents angry or whoever your caretakers maybe even some of your peers and friends. Whoever is around you that has an idea of you get comfortable with disappointing them? It's actually extremely liberating when you start doing that. I'd disappoint those of you listening at times too because you guys have this image of a friend. That's like spotless. And so when I say things that you like what I'm like. Yeah be disappointed. It actually helps me. It helps me a lot because that way I break out of your vision of me because only one that matters is mine. So that's the way love don't live here anymore. Only advice that I can share. Was that the article. Said be bravely bad as long as it's not hurting people. I think that's the biggest thing. Don't be bad in a way that is going to make other people's lives whereas just be bad by breaking out of expectation so what about you Dustin Roz. Would you find in the twitter streets? I don't know but I feel so much better because when I'm good I'm bad but when I'm bad I'm better I like. I like breaking out of expectations. Fuck Yo Mode. Fuck your moral. That sounded like a housewife line. Where to Angela? Wimbush Babe that's from. Ib Goodbye Rene Angela. But anyway So I tweet our nominees. Twitter streets that's where The first one I WANNA point out comes from Thai loves poppy. Ti loves API and the tweet land and he says one word debuts and attached to this tweet is a picture of nausea matic album cover beyond say's dangerously in love dangerously in love album cover maxwell's urban hang suite album cover and amory's all. I have album cover and I just thought I mean what else needs to be said other than that. Where those are four Artist debuts for original albums in those artists catalogs that just kind of set the standard that places them where they are In their respective jaundice today so amory beyond say knives maxwell all for greats with fourth grade debut albums the second tweet wanted to highlight comes from at Tall Glass of s t. y l on the swimming deming style but they know e- so make it wherever you're while all it says. Is Betty white been with the sheets and there's a picture of betty white with easy in easy has anyway? It's real back in the day. It's a picture betty white Dr Dre and easy at a restaurant and I I just really like. I just really thought I duNNo. It just really made me feel warm on the inside so want to share that with you guys and that's about it for these. Twitter streets amazing. This week is the Dustin take over of Destin. You have a show plan for us. Let us know at that. Is this week Angelo Angela Bassett from. What's love got to do it when she's so this week? I thought that we would do something a little different than we normally do an move the TV land segment up to the front of our conversation. Because I feel like the hot button Discussion that I wanNa have is definitely an offshoot of something that happened in television this week. There's really only one television event to discuss. And that was the real housewives of Atlanta virtual reunion for season twelve. First of all I did either of you watch. Yes now. Have you seen clips at off ran like anything second? Okay so let me just give you a little background information. And then I'm sure you'll be able to keep because during the only thing I saw. Was Somebody say that? Somebody said somebody say that. Somebody says somebody's titties. Were social. Who was said about this new titties. Also and the determination was made by Porsche. Okay so that's how you clear that part up and whoever the somebody said that those two. Somebody's said that was right. Because that is exactly what was said but yes. That's just one example though perfect way perfect that you brought that up. That's one example of the Witty Insults. In quick retorts that were traded back and forth so frequently between the members as what we love about love about this show rather You know we love to see them having fun and doing late in the whole sisterhood Motif. 'cause that's all that shit is on that show the Motif but when we see them in conflict sometimes it's very interesting and entertaining because the insult are funny. Not only are they funny as a viewer of the show. You may have failed some of the same emotions to that. The cavs members are expressing as you've watched case in point when I was watching and Last season Ni-ni made those comments about Kenya's baby. Kenya was pregnant and she was in her. She was eight months pregnant and she showed up to an even for Cynthia. Anini just lost it upon the side of Kenya. They had no conflict nothing. He just literally started talking. Shit on camera about Kenya's when she came in This bitch is here the monsters here. I think she's good look haddish. I think he's going to have a buffalo. Ain't she basically saying she was so I appreciate This shit my Kenya wasn't a cast member and so she never had an opportunity to respond to that to that talk to that energy to any of their from me and it all stemmed from any being jealous of Cynthia in Kenya having a relationship of friendship. And so can you kept this same energy all through season twelve and she led into knees ass every time they saw each other. She never backed down from any conflict. She was tearing up well recently in the news He's been giving interviews candy. Bursts has recently referred to as damage control tour which I thought was hilarious also accurate but those are my personal feelings as take that out of the conversation during these interviews. She said she started insulting. Kanye and making accusations. That Kenya's daughter wasn't her? She was like well. Who's the baby site? Mark Their Daddy. Did she even use her own eggs? He probably didn't even use egg talking about this woman's one euro right so when they got to the reunion of just giving you that you know background so you can understand this punchline and this this hit that's about to come swing at Kenya's hand so and it got to the Reunion Eddie Co and asked her about that. You know like many interviews. It you know Brooklyn wasn't who doctor wasn't even your egg or whatever by by She looks like our father and Kenya. Moore says yes and she does look like our father and she's beautiful. Thank God for that but we know one thing needs kids are hers because they look just like her in heaven and Angels Sing. Okay when I tell you my stomach hit the floor and there's a lot that went back and forth between these ladies all night long. That was good and a lot of heavy swings but that was my personal favorite pusher Williams also did not disappoint. She's mad as hell at either marseils. Okay because either was talking shit on the show on camera again. That mouth running that you sane bolt mouth running just fat talking Shit. She said you know says baby looked like Dennis with a bow on which Dennis's maybe right which now but the only reason that you list the only reason that elicited a gas from you is because what friend you ain't gotta say it say but but we know right now. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing here's the thing. So let's be clear. Portions baby is a beautiful little girl right. There baby is gorgeous. She looks like her dad but not in a way where she's ugly child or anything like that right and so when it was sad on the show. I guess I'm looking at your home. So it was sad on the show. It was the weirdest thing because Cynthia was saying sit was a conversation between caddy Cynthia Eva. Cynthia was saying portion. Then it's GonNa be just fine. They were discussing. Dentists imports the separation that they were experiencing at the time. They were broken up because Dennis cheated shitting so cynthia pusher loved it. It's GonNa be Fine GonNa get back together that baby over there then. It's with a ball. They finally going to be back together right saying like you know. She meant literally no harm. And that's why I didn't take offense to it either. Had Been Talking Shit already about another conversation. That kind of made her look like a bad person kind of and so she was was so she just Kinda. She's like Daynuss with a on and do they. She kept talking shit about portion blogs and others that she used it in a very negative way. Porsche is a person who I kind of feel like. I would be the same way if I had a kid. Any hint of disrespect to her child. Like I'll be like guns blazing. It doesn't have to be a direct blow. The you don't have to say Dustin. Your kid is ugly but if you say my baby looked like my Nigga. I know you don't think Monday is attractive. I know what you're trying to say. You know what I mean and they will go like that but so porsche ahead that energy. And that's how we arrived at the social distancing breasts and all the other things that were said is there was a lot that said sold candy. I felt like did a good job candy and Kenya both but in different ways I felt like did a good job of staying on topic during the conversation and not getting lost in an insult war. You know what I'm saying. I'm asking you a question. I'm GonNa give you a direct answer. Sometimes it's hard to hear because they're talking over each other but if you just isolate your focus on one person if you watch the scene multiple times each time you isolate your focus on a different person in the scene you can get the gist of what each person was saying and candy was really being factually hitting hard and it was so funny to me to see the reaction that each person was getting out of each different cast member when it if you wanNA trade a basic generic surface level in salt. There may be rooted in a little bit of truth. Means you're go to for that. She excels in space but there's no intellectual Basis behind it. There's no there's no real like foundation to her insoles. They really make a knockout punches. Just a bunch of loud shit talking whereas Kenya more okay. She's GonNa slug back just as hard but it's it's delivered so clearly so precisely and you know exactly. The point is she's trying to make and so it's a bit more of a battle of wits. Then it is just trading insults with her. Eva Is. She has an intention behind her arguments. He's trying to establish presence so it's like she's holding herself back from really rolling around in the mud but at the same time she's saying things that qualify as things that you say when you roll around in the mud so there's an imbalance they are. They're really sick of and was turning them off about her purses ghetto in the in the all of the best ways and she knows she has that skill that finesse that playground for nece when it comes to being humorous Heaven Punch lines and also Verifiable of threats that have been delivered a point in the past okay. Cynthia is person who's ended the modeling industry at Eighteen. Black has held but left Alabama. Eighteen years old moved to New York City and she's lived a global worldly lifestyle for all these years and now she's among some other people who have not still have notoriety and so she's a happy Departure from conversation. They can redundant at time. She's much more positive much more. Be You know a ray of light is other people in the cast? We don't even need to go through all of that that Ben and Jerry's three new non dairy frozen desserts are a new twist on Vegan. You for you so many nine dairy flavors so little time Ben and Jerry's has three new non dairy frozen desserts made with sunflower butter. The Ben and Jerry's flavor gurus have taken a big leap this time they're new non. Dairy flavors are the perfect. We treats for VEGANS VEGETARIANS. And everyone in between me personally are really really really really liked that mint chocolate chip cookies. Are the MINT CHOCOLATE COOKIES? And the crew leg I mean they just come up with really really delicious flavors and it doesn't taste funny because it's beer you taste. It just tastes like ice. General Amazing bomb phenomenal tasty delicious ice cream. Nothing wrong with that. So check out the men and Jerry Sunflower Butter lineup. And the whole non dairy family at BEEN JERRY DOT com. That's B. in J. E. R. R. Y. DOT COM. The point in. This is watching this show. Certainly do you have any thoughts on the on the reunion before I move forward with our high issue thank you Porsche did? Amazing is very funny because over the past will out for a while now. Porsche has been in therapy. The season and it showed over the past few episodes leading into the reunion. Som- just happy to see on the reunion. Porsches still because like you said was really good with the playground. Hits and things like that. She just very witty but I just love the fact that she was able to take information and she's been learning in therapy. That's supposed to be a part of our relationship and she's been apply to these lessons with these winning these women and it hasn't taken her out of character it's only she's only getting sharper. And that's what I love about Porsche. We've just been watching the story of continuously like rebuilding rebranding in just doing the most in the most amazing greatest of way. So I'm just happy to see Porsche just in the right direction loving. Pj in polar The reunion was super fucking interesting. I thought that it was going to be kind of weird because of the whole laptop scenario that we have to do now but I couldn't have asked for more. It was very juicy like you said candy. I loved loveday candies very eloquent. When it comes to responding is not juvenile in any way she just always hits her mark as to what the fuck the problem is and if there was a problem in her eyes. So that's all I got to say. You know the rest of it just. I'm going to keep watching. I'm staying tuned staying tuned. We'll watch those and watch her speak on video on her youtube channels because they're very very very very well produced and they provide so much insight and background information and things that happened off that she verifies through video all kinds of stuff so it's a good to additional. Take what we see on the television show but doesn't watching this for union. I noticed that there was never really an even though we only on part one. This has been a recurring thing the season for me. There's never been a real resolve in the conflict between knee and Cynthia ripe and Ninian Cynthia in France for ten years that we've literally seen on the show they met on the show and they were real deal actual France for the ten years that they've been on the show with two breaks in between but this time is whole season we never really saw a actual resolve. There's so many issues between them. They have not been addressed in even this morning. News interview on the Breakfast Club. She was talking Shit about Cynthia Again. Saying how she felt. Like a. You know after Cynthia seeing These girls the other ladies on the show argue with her make certain accusations against their character and what type of person she is. She feels like after being friends with Cynthia for many years. Cynthia shouldn't sit silently and she said interject. And say hey. I don't think that way she's like this well. Us As viewers of the show have seen her behavior. Nina's behavior suggest otherwise. We don't really feel Cynthia should be vocal in upfront about accusations about any that quite honestly are true. Based on what we've seen from this show and there's been this like she's just been completely like delusional in their relationship. But it's been sad to see as viewer of the show so it got me thinking you know these these things that. I watch on television like this is give me thinking on a bigger level about what's really going on really looking at and I started thinking about friendship. And when friendship is era. Treatable broken as an adult. How you can separate you know in a healthy way. How does that impact your body? Your your your physical health. You know what does that really mean? And why is it something that is so tough for us to watch his viewers into experiences people so I did a little bit research? Hey friend hey bag you know the bag with the H F h by the by the straps. It's impossible but I did a little research and I found some articles and a couple of studies that I thought had necessary information to this conversation. I just wanted to share with you guys and you tell me what you think about it per your own experience with adult friendships and their impact on your lives. As in any way so F I. According to science daily are learned. We are technically bad. Judges friends as adults. Okay and this is per research There was a two thousand sixteen study that was conducted by Tel Aviv. University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Aka Mit writing and they determined that only half of your friends. We consider you to be their friend. Okay according to the research that they conducted people have a very poor perception of friendship ties and this limits their ability to influence their friends. According to this research so at this is suggesting is that you may feel that you're in a whole complete friendship with a person who may not feel that same way toward you and you guys can be engaging in a manner that feels reciprocal to you. But it may not be what you think. It is in their mind and as things take place as circumstances occur and you react. According to what you think your position is in a friendship. You may then be caught off guard surprise in even hurt by the way that the other person reacted has been something that you all have ever experienced like have you had. Have you been caught completely off guard by a person that you perceive to have a different type of relationship with you by their behavior and if so has it been which way on the scale of? I guess Investment into the relationship. Has It gone? Were you surprised because they were cold and reacted in a way? That was not reflective of your being friends. Have you been surprised by suddenly being overly kind to you are showing you more of more love and compassion in their relationship than you expected or anticipated? You were pleasantly surprised have which neighbours Guinea business. This Business Asante first situation. The first thing that stuck out for me was when I was working at this call centre Atlanta. There was somebody I used to give rise to all the time we work together and I thought that we was like becoming cool. Like I thought we was like not like France. But who's become becoming lifer because we used to go to lunch together and then like I don't know I just thought we were like really close like I can think of all the times we wrote together laughing joking and then one day I saw the same person at a party and I went to speak to them because they were with their like actual friends. We didn't know each other and I had no idea that like the world be like that if that blow me like It really fucked me up and I think because in high school I guess in college like all these social settings I'd always been able to kind of like Mesh with everybody thought always been cool with everybody. I never really thought so much about like friendships ties at those times. But then like I guess getting out of high school and being at work I started to Kinda give this person more leeway in thinking that we were building something because it was like I like connection outside of school. I guess and that's just not that was not the case like the next time we see each other after at work after that party. They basically told me like we're we don't I don't know them like that and I was like we'll have to start because we work together. We was cool and they were like yeah. We have a working relationship so we just cool at work and I was like man. Yeah that was a walking as bad I started asking for gas money and then cooling all anymore after that and I got a promotion and then they got sent back to the Temple. It was cool. It was fucked up but it was cool not cool that fuck me up so right when you said that I was like damn like I felt like they treated me like I was being delusion on. It wasn't a situation in me just like call now and texting every five minutes when they were GONNA hang out. I just seen them. They got the WHO was like. Oh that's the negative like we go to the mall and eating making fun of people in the in the food court and they were like no these are. Did they react like they did though who you were like it was just like a blank stare? You know when you go to hug someone and they ice you out and they kind of like like back a little bit kind of bristle brush and so that happened and like tell you egg cracked on my face and I was like what the fuck is going on like. I had never felt that it. It still hurts. I mean I hate to say but have been on the other side of of course you crap okay so as far as my friends like you guys and the girls just everyone. I'm cool with my friendships up until right now. I really solid so. I can't speak on any of that. Because we all communicate everyone kind of shares. What they need what they don't need But the interesting thing is the friction I've dealt with. The most has actually been with peers in this industry. That were in where? There's a misunderstanding that because I'm nice to you or engage in conversation when I see you you know or you know. We ended up at a lot of the same events. We have a lot of the same peers. Same circles management teams. All that that were friends is. There's a misunderstanding that translates into friendship. And I think people can feel away when they realized that you actually didn't grant them that access and even just saying that feels uncomfortable because I think that it is. Sometimes we forget that we can do that that you can't tell someone you actually not my friend. I'm actually not interested in being friends with this. Is Yes a circumstantial connection whereas like when I see you at work. We have that thing but it doesn't mean that you know now if I'm free and you see me like hey let's go to dinner. 'cause I one thing I'm really bad at and I I'm actually been working on. That people will ask Me Dinner. And you know what this might tie into last week's episode of not wanting to disappoint people or or or watch their glow go away when they see you and sometimes. I don't WanNa go to dinner with you. I'm not interested but don't know how to say that because I don't like to be mean and is under this thing of like. Oh I don't WanNa make them feel bad. I think that I'm a bitch but like I have the right to not be interested in going to dinner with people just because they want to go to dinner and it puts you in a shitty position and I've just now been learning in the past couple of years how to say I'm actually not interested. Thank you for your bitch sucks. And it's hard for me. This is one of the ways that being a quote unquote good kid fucks you up as an adult because you don't want to be the quote unquote bad person. And then you end up getting into marriages like the email that we received someone you don't even fuck with like that you end up in friendships with somebody. You don't even fuck with like that. Just because they're they're or they gave you the attention. And you haven't even advocated those feelings so that's something. I'm struggling with a still feel challenged by because people are very kind to me. I'm very kind to people. And sometimes that can that can be translated as we should be friends and then I don't know what to say because I don't Wanna be your friend accident. Speak LOUDER THAN WORDS ALREADY. So you can just funny well you do. Is You other plans? You is other things like a calendar that but sometimes you got to. I've actually been trying not to do that. Because that's my go-to to say. Oh actually I'm busy or but I'm like what's wrong with radical honesty. Where can I tell you a bitch Kayhan problem like me? You can tell me you can tell me some shit like that yard both know. I'll be like okay. Cool like I get it and I'm really. I'm not even being clear with me. You know what I mean but other and we also have this sort of familiarity with each other. Maybe that's not the most fair example. I too am a person who let me tell you so first of all you've done. I'm done I'm done because see here's the thing I feel like it's going to be easy for somebody misinterpret what you said. You know what I'm intention behind it. So the added a little context and clarity. 'cause I to those all hands to the mother fucking ribcage appear to have been in that position. But here's the thing. I enjoy like being friendly with people. I joy Feeling good and I make a lot of our make acquaintances with with with a lot of people often That that's kind of what it is. You know what I mean so where it gets murky for me is that can often feel as if it is a portal to a closer relationship with me that's is intended and then it is not only are my intense. Not that I'm putting up a wall. Okay so my thing is I however of also is just such a tricky slippery slow because I also have encountered some amazing people and foster genuine connections with them simply from being a nice person and then them reciprocating that energy and found actual real friendships. That were grown. Not FROM A a random. I guess not from anything intentional. Just from being good to each other. I'll say okay but It just gets tricky and I think this is one of those areas in life where it's really important to read the fucking role. You have to be a person who becomes aware of tone aware of social cues. You have to just really assess situations from a fire before you enter them. Who is this person? How am I connected to them? What does that mean? How are we connected otherwise? Are there any any ties? They run deep. What is this I understand? How much of myself to even invest to make it comfortable for everybody involved so sometimes you gotta just kind of read. The room like is is not meant for you to be close with everyone. You know what I'm saying and this doesn't mean that you have to walk around being a person who is icy or well. You should be icy because you should have diamonds but I mean like icy as far as like you know. Having a chilly reception of others is not necessary ardent when when if both parties just kind of again read the room. Nobody gets their feelings. I think you grow at inorganic pace with people and you become what you were intended to be calm right. Yeah that's you know that's just that's how can I say snow? I agree and the Santi. I think one thing I will add onto that because like I said felt like I was on the other side of your situation. But it doesn't justify them being rude though like that so just because I might be viewing this as a circumstantial thing where it's like you just my work friend not necessarily my friend friend. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to act weird when I see you outside of work and act like Oh no you. Can't you know dumb hug and touch me like that's just weird? I was going to say that's different like what you said. I understand because I've kind of been there like like I. I can see now that you put in there where I was like. Oh Damn so. I've been another side too but in the Senate like I'm sure we are. Yeah but like when you said that to myself like that was the difference like it would have been one thing if he established at work or if like we see each other out he hugged and still was like. Oh no I'm I'm with my people in not for nothing. I really don't like it would have been like an expert like just a light whatever it would have been cool but because it was so like stiff and stanton was like what the fuck is this. So with said one thing fans thanked. That's the worst kind of shady coming out but to what you were saying if anybody can make no okay you can like. He knows that you're busy. Saving the world like you got like I feel like if you said no to anyone and this is just me so clearly unbiased. Because I'm sure you say will like. Oh she's a B. But I feel like I say no to anyone. There'd be like Oh she's busy. She's doing this. She's doing that but like it sucks that like you know what I'm saying. Not Everybody has that like emotional intelligence or they're not reading room enough to realize like oh like what am I thinking asking for this person's time when they on the road about to leave like in two hours or whatever like people just sometimes are missing and I just think that it's so interesting when you put that in the context for me I was like Damn. How many times have I like because I said? Yes to something that people thought that that was going to open three more doors form right when I was trying to be cool or pair of sperry be cool. Yeah I actually learned from side of do doesn't actually learned his lesson and it was an incredible lesson because like I said I'm sure we've been on so many sides of it too This executive that I when I was an artist at an event and then we kept seeing each other and I was like. Oh cool now. You know she because she was really nice. And every time we saw was love introduced me to people and then. I asked her for her number and she said no but it was beautiful because it was a complete sentence she didn't buffer it with. Oh you know I gotta keep a distance between clients did. She didn't do none of that. She looked me in my face and said no and I remember to die of embarrassment because it was so short but I also in later years as a businesswoman myself. Now I was like that is some powerful shit. She didn't even give me no kindness. No sweetness it was like this is it. I have nothing to explain. You don't get my number and you know what else friend that could have been more about her than it was about you anyway. Didn't take yeah at that point. I took it that way. Obviously because I was embarrassed. Because it's like fuck well like how you going to do me like that but as as the woman I am now I'm like that was her boundary. That was her right. She had no interest in us. Snow each other beyond the hallows and the events and the hugs and that and that was her right. And that's what I'm saying like I admire that I'm like. I wish I could do that because I can't add decide at that point as still feel bad. If I tell you know I'm still going to be like a 'cause 'cause I have you know and I feel this need to nurture whatever emotions I might trigger in you because think about it. You know. We're all human so that could be a rejection energy that I make you feel. That could be some abandonment. Shit you could think I'm thinking I'm better than you are and I don't want you in my life so many things could come up just by me saying no and so the the mommy energy that I kinda have some times where I'm just like I don't feel bad you know and I'm GonNa want to like nurture whatever came up. But that's not my job and so that's what. I'm learning now like hire you take. It is not my job. Mile job is to have my boundaries and make them clear and like that. But I'm learning that 'cause I don't even really know how to do that is good that you're learning there because you're responsible for that part of your health your physical health your mental Nobody else is going to do it for me. Nobody because just like you said is not their responsibility. Okay and so managing your own emotions through your personal relationships I feel is your responsibility when you enter into relationship with somebody and say. We're GONNA be friends that I feel. I feel this is just some Dustin Shit. I feel like I'm taking on the responsibility to make sure that your experiences with me are good. That's probably not healthy. But that's how I feel and so like if I'm managing my emotions that means even if I have a feeling that may not be The healthiest say. The most positive about us. I'll do the work to fix it internally on my end because it could just be something that like like you just spoke of. May Have Reno resulted from a trigger of some sort you know and may not have nothing to do with the person so I'll work through it myself. I and that literally de Lis seventy five percent of the shit in that in that space. You know what I mean and the rest of you guys work through to grow your relationship and you do it because you care otherwise. It takes a toll on you and speaking of speaking of things like that taking a toll on you William J. Chuck Tropic Chop Ick C. H. O. P. A. K. Topic. Okay which I think. It'd be a great restaurant name. But more on their later. So William J. Topic from the Department of Psychology at Michigan State University conducted a cross sectional survey of two hundred seventy one thousand adults and found that valuing friendships was related to better physical functioning particularly amongst older adults. So you think about that Jar. There tells you right there for a fact that having good friendships. This is not the stress and anxiety. You feel over friendships falling out. Or maybe not having the best luck in friendships. That's a real actual thing is is a result of the stress and if it also greatly impacts adults later in life at a time when us is really important. I guess most important necessary to pay attention to your physical health. That means that it makes sense that you should become a better person or try your best to be abyss of the older that you get especially to their relationships in your life right. 'cause you want to at least feel good and that made me start thinking about feeling bad based on friendships ending right and and how platonic friendships dead. The ending of the suck some real shit for a second right like ending or dissolving a friendship. Sometimes that's worse physically and emotionally on you then break up with somebody that you're dating and that sort of relationship with because the closeness that you experience to me like in a platonic friendship sort of transparency is just a deeper level than it is even with your partner and so once you end that you have to manage you know how to move for beyond that. It just takes a lot of a lot out of you and I found an article in Time magazine From September of twenty eighteen called. Why ending friendship can be worse than a break up which. I thought in my head so I was like well. Let me click this because this is clearly what? I'm talking about one of the points that I love. That they made was where the Miriam Kim Miriam Cure Mayor. Who is a clinical therapist? Specializes in adult Friendships and young friendships as well. But she said that we feel ashamed often that we couldn't make work when those friendships end. She says shame is a a frequent emotion or emotional consequences that people have when they in a sort of friendships and she said people feel like they should have this figured out and they assume that everyone else has it figured out how to sustain friendships. So they feel like they're doing something wrong when they're going through friendship breakup and especially when it becomes a pattern So I thought the shame angle was something worthy of discussion because I literally have been through this and ending. Adult friendships is not something that I've done frequently so when his happened it has felt worse than death and I have because I prioritize social interaction and being a good friend of my friends I have felt ashamed over. Certain friendships ending over or over relationships. Like that India my life and it's caused me to do a very intensive probably too intense self assessment of my portion. And it's just really hard. I've really been hard on myself about that And so I just wondered if that was something that like you guys share to win. Because I'm sure we've all had relationships you know adult friendships. That have come to an end. Fortunately but did you feel ashamed to in a happened or or where you some days. I don't care some days I'm like fuck it you know I. I don't even give a fuck fuck you. I don't care and we not friends and bitches. Somebody asked me today. I'm gonNA tell them other days. I'm like Damn. I'm embarrassed that you know this didn't happen. Because what is he saying about my ability to sustain healthy relationships as an adult? So have you found yourself in their position ever? Yes you really clear about ending relationships and stuff like that. You're very clear about this. That's why I'm like. I don't know a France ever even been in that space. 'cause you might have been all right with arriving at the decision to end. Those relationships was funny when it happens. There's a friendship that I was a part of a year. I mean I love her to pieces even just thinking about her. Now one of my favorite friends and it's interesting because when I ended the friendship at the time it felt like the right thing to do If fell in that point of my consciousness and my understanding of light it felt like I was in the right and when I look back now who I am now like. We could have fixed that the good been a conversation that was had. I could have held space for her to share her perspective. Because just because I had my own doesn't mean that it was the right one a than I could have made. And she could've made space for mine and we are the type of people that I know for a fact it wouldn't have been easy but it would have been something we could have worked through and when I think back on it have been many house who wanted to check out the blue and just be like we were dumb. I love you. Let's just like that. You know and as something stops me and I know it is a shame of you. Know like is the shame of like damn I respected with so limited and like look at the damage. We did because of that. You know and that is where the shame comes from from me personally but And it was dumb like is it tied into Yano know. I'm someone that doesn't ask for help. Yes I have issues with that I. I like find myself to be very self sufficient and I stick to that which is a whole other problem. It's so when I am beyond my scope of something or over. Functioning is very very difficult for me to reach out to people and say I need help with this that and the other so I had a responsibility had come on me where someone was expecting me to do something that I could not do at that time And I asked her for help and she said no and I was so angry because I had had that that Identity of being someone who never who never ask for help so it was almost like a slap in the face. Like you're really not gonNA look offer me in this thing. And she was like no and it was similar to the executive thing. It's like she had the right to say no it just because I had that identity doesn't mean that she has to rush to the thing that I need in that moment and I just didn't you know I just made it so difficult On both of us because I was just like off like that a real friend wouldn't have put me in that position in my Jewish something. That had nothing to do her. So it was like silly. You know we were young and and at that time. I felt really hurt by that by her. Not Looking out and we haven't spoken since then it's sad because I'm like that's so childish. You know on the other side of that okay when you have been a friend to someone and when you do have the identity of not needing help or not asking for help or not being a person who is lazy and just leans on their friends in that way. There is a space there for people to reason that you must really be in a position where you need this help after they viewed it right and so even though. There's completely a hardy perspective. I guess if I'm being honest with myself it is still something that reasonable. You know what I'm saying and and and that I think is why you reacted to that experience their way and to me. It's still stands to this day so I tell you it's a quarter whatever but I'm just saying like you know don't beat yourself up about it because you know I understand where you're coming from like damn dog like really you know what I mean like if I like. It's like you know me. And that's how I felt in that moment. Like you of all people know that if I'm asking damages I really need the help and it wasn't money Roy. Anything that like was ridiculous or something beyond her ability. There was a favor. It was a favor that she just didn't see it for and I was very injured in that in moment and just Kinda wasn't able to bounce back. I am too because I feel like my like today in my life and the person that I am today my friendships. I supposed to be like a place where I feel safe and vice versa. And so that almost feels like a betrayal of some sort of like you can't and you don't get hurt her role like a co my heart. You said no to me to be a person who when it comes to lake Romantic relationships Emma friendships. I mean what I say so I don't ever like to play with dad like well. Fuck it we ain't cool fuck. We broke up. I don't do that in relationships with assing. We either GONNA argue about it or we're going to whatever the fuck but I'm never going to tell you I'm done fucking with your through with you unless that's what I mean and so going back from that giving them saying it's hard for me in situations where even to this day. I struggle with one relationship in particular like sometimes you want to make amends with the person I mean. Even when they were flat out the person was wrong. Okay and I forgive you but I don't fuck with you like that and you know why right. Do you put the band back together or do remain a solo. You know what do you do? It's just hard you and that's something that think. He struggled with daily of India relationships before like with people. I've dated and Shit that I have. I've missed you know what I'm saying but I've still been. I'm a person who has strengthened their space. A lot of people is hard for them to reach out to somebody or you know what I mean or whatever for me. I would rather my word have value. I guess so. I don't like going back on. I've said that and so you struggle with that sometimes. Because you do you know. I don't know now I mean it's true number. We had that Combo will be talked about giving people second chances after they fuck up. Remember we talked about that and and now it's hard I think it's a case by case situation personally of in closing. I guess because there's so many more notes that I have on this conversation So can only be so long. I think it's good for me to share this one little tidbit that Miriam Care Mayor suggested. She said you'll actually go through a bit of grief process with the end of friendship. And that's okay. If you feel like you can't change. The toxic friendships. Situation is okay to mourn it and move on and find relationships that are much more satisfying. After a friendship. Break-up it's common to feel anger sadness loneliness and anxiety about seeing the person and fearful of my of mutual friends picking sides understanding that. All of these feelings are normal. Will help you to start moving forward and what it all comes down to is cutting yourself some slack. She says that you should recognize the language. You're using when you're talking about yourself instead of jumping the labels I calling yourself a bad friend. He should speak to yourself that the way that you would to a good friend so I guess the moral of all this is that if you're going to be a good friend to anyone you should be a good friend yourself. I and a place where that can really show up. Your Life is when you're managing the emotions that come along with ending friendships. Which is what Embiid is on Bravo last Sunday make so I was so mad like God. I was thoroughly entertained. But then I'm like okay. There needs to be some room for resolved to all of this and it was hard for me to see what I saw on Sunday night. And that's what had me go down the rabbit hole of ending friendships. The impact of that on your lives and all of that so I guess my psych one yet. Why in them? Although we've come end of the road okay now but I think to before you close off a member are. We've talked about auditing yourself too. I think that's a big like if something like this happens. Sit with yourself and be like okay. Well what was my part in this dynamic like what could I have done to be a better friend and and sometimes it's important to you have. I asked my friends that all the time like when my friends I like. I like auditing myself. And that like auditing the people around me asking. How can I be more supportive? How could I you know? What are the things that we can do for this friendships? Just be healthier and better. You let like you say. Learn to read the room. Different friends need different things as well. Now I A- friends are going to need the same approach by you because we're all different. Some friends more attention. Some friends don't need that much attention. Some need a acts of service you know love language isn't just for the romance. It's also in friendship. Like what can I do so that you know I'm present and I'm thinking of you and I love you actually think people don't work as hard in their friendships. I think they pay a lot more attention to their romantic relationships. And don't really have the same approach Intentions friends as something. I think people don't consider it. Well Yeah I mean to say risk reward but I wish people showed the same level of care you know as I love my friends. I take care of them. They take care of me the same way that I would romantically only differences. Obviously the physical nature. Is You making faces? You wanted to add something. No I was just thinking about a time where I was catfish fan. Yeah you might shit exactly. And and that was the ultimate feeling of shame. Because a lot of my friends. I met online so like I met align Keith met online friend I met you a lot what you mean catfish by a friend online so some people on twitter back in the day we used to always like duties low skype calls and we will just get on skype and talk to each other and bullshit and somebody. I was popular on twitter at the time I get they were Tom. I don't even know how is even. I was cool formerly known as Gay. She goes here Okay because he even he liked became part of the cost thing but he was like part of the thing like it was the sheet where you know we offerings. We would all talk shit to each other. We would all like call each other random times like do real friendship but like long distance so found out that was a catfish. And when I tell you the shame like the sheer and utter like why didn't I see this or like the signs like all of that cabin because it was like well nice? Catfish Cafe St. Bad. I feel like if you were trying to get that not at me season you want. I don't give a dare. He was really nice though. That's the word that was. That was the thing. He was coolest fuck up until he got exposed and then from bear. He like flipped the narrative on us and made it seem like we didn't want to be his friend no more because we found out he we didn't want to be a sprint number. Because we found out he wasn't who he said he was but he tried to pay to be like because he wasn't the light skinned dream or whatever that he was and I was like you just. He said you were 'cause he was putting up pictures of some light skin young person and then he was like this. Dr Skin overgrown person insecure about sexuality. Me All these other things and I was just like the shame that I focus. I was kind of like Damn. I bad enough like that. We couldn't tell us the truth or you just had to like put do pull one over on us or whatever it just felt like. I couldn't tell what was really wasn't so for the longest time. Just had these weird walls up of like do. I even waste my time with anybody else. Like already know who I know even waste my time especially because it was twitter and at the time people were just kind of like popping up. China's say hatchet before we were even known as any of these circles before a Hashtag was even Fuckin- Hashtag but the Nigga wasn't real that she felt so weird for the long whereas he now does he. Is He online himself? He was really like we'll never know out to you. What was what was his fake name. Gay She goes. Zach Ranking Geisha. Goes here was to use it his twitter at the time you should. You should write in check and let us know how you doing brother why everybody plays the law. Sometimes like what I'm saying. This assay spacex if you want to tell your side of the story my Nigga 'cause right in and less cheech Allen and want to know how you doing brother Nelson he was like. I'm email yellow picture what I really look like and this is why I go point why she was like dismal plan. Yes see I like. Oh you might be talking to right now and don't even know right so that listen brother is okay. It's okay you can be who you are and you can let us know we just WanNa make sure you're doing thank you. I'm glad you shared. That story. Took me there. You go finding zag where you et. J heard on the track. Were all right. Well thank you guys for wonderful have been conversation about going to the end of the role. That was great. Thank you for being home so much especially during a crisis can be a breeding ground for anxiety. You may feel lonely but you're not alone. Were all adjusting to this new normal for mental health awareness month. Talk Space. Therapy is more committed than ever to expanding access to support for anyone who is struggling with talk space. You get mashed licensed therapist. Space Iron Needs and preferences from the safety of your home. Send your therapist tax audio picture or video messages from your phone or computer. Twenty four seven. Everything happens within sock secure platform. All on your schedule talks as has thousands of licensed therapist chained in over forty specialties including anxiety depression and relationship issues once match. You can begin therapy the same day. We've been working with talk space for years. Now you guys always send us tweets and emails and comments and DMZ about how useful the experience has been for you. So I would love to hear feedback for those of you. Who may be using it now during this quarantine to motivate and inspire those who may be considering it but are kind of on the fence so the bottom line is that you deserve support and don't have to struggle on your own you're talk. Space Therapists could be a dedicated support system there to help you feel healthier and more empowered even in these uncertain circumstances as a listener of this podcast. You get a hundred dollars off your first month on talk space to match the a perfect therapist go talks base dot com or download. The APP make sure you use the code zone to get one hundred dollars off your first month and show your support for this. Show that zone and space dot. Com COM is a fitness wearable. They're provides personalized insights on the performance of your sleep. How recovered your body is and how much stress and exertion you put on your body throughout the day every day when you get up you get a recovery score based on your HR V. Resting Heart rate and sleep performance. That can be used as an indicator on how to approach your day and the APP has built in features like strain coach which gives you target exertion goals to work out for the level of intensity that your body is signaling. It can handle huge based on how strenuously a day is. The APP also has a built in sleep coach. Which lets you know how much sleep you should beginning based on your own performance goals. This is the part that really helped me personally. I'm I'm a person who I don't require a lot of sleep when I do see a sea really heavy heavily when I do And so getting four hours of sleep day. That was something that was normal for me but I knew it was a healthy for my body so once we did this partnership whoop. I use my finish striker for that purpose. And I've literally been figuring out exactly how much sleep I need to get per day since world quarantine. I've had the time to get it and make sure I get to stay on top of a hearing to schedule so my whoop Bracelet his own me. Just I can't even begin to count. How much is helped me But right now whoop is offering fifteen percent off with the code zone at checkout go to whoop W. H. O. P. dot com laughing. Because I'm saying the word and it's funny I can't go to go to whoop that COM that's H. O. P. DOT COM and enter friend zone at checkout to save fifteen percent sleep. Better recover faster and train smarter optimize your with today Ooh next. It's time to bring in the motherfucking wind chimes with a real one. Hey Fran Hey with the wheel and the Segue so I remember how happy you guys were shared. The chilled Fox chilled cow in Asante. You jumped on shared some youtube channels. You love listening to you when you need some ambient music or just Kinda vibe out a study music so you guys have literally been tight. Tweeting me ever since just being Mike Yo. That was a game changer. Thank God especially during this quarantine while out of you have a lot of work to do at home and are having a hard time focusing as sticking to those deadlines and those goals so now's the time to pull out all the to help you facilitate those Work from home session so I actually wanted to share another youtube channel. I am a huge fan of. It's been a big part of my life actually posted about it on twitter a couple of weeks ago and our my itchy stories. A couple months ago maybe and then I realized wait a minute. I never brought it to zone. So it's called a meditative mind. Have you heard of IT Asante Surfing? Is that one of them. Lights Play Autumn. Eight hours of healing. Yes exactly I frequencies which are just really healing frequencies that your body's frequencies can start harmonising with when you accent. I mean that that's a way that it works as well today. We're focused youtube channel. Go ahead Fred and we talked about this before where you know that your body gives off a frequency or vibe as the kids like to say that's when you step into a room you could stand next to someone and just be like this person's vibe is off and not even really know why maybe they didn't even say to you But you're vibes just don't harmonizing anyway. So you can have the same way that your body gives off five. Bachchan sodas sound and tones and music and so these are all These songs are all tuned to very specific emotional needs. That could help you so I love it. They have ones for relaxation. They have some that are tuned to the frequency of energy. Maybe you need some energy because you have a big project looming that you need more focus on Meditation they have all kinds of frequencies based on what you might be looking for The Youtube Channel I looked in its about section says meditative mind creates meditation music healing music based on socio frequencies mantra chance and various other resources for relaxation. Sleep healing and meditation. So if you need in your day. That's a little chill calmer. The chilled cow and chilled. Fox is more so I think for like studying and reading but this is more when you want to enter a different state with your mind where you're like. I need to remove work any to remove the Internet and he to remove being the good kid friend. Not like in my spouse all levels that we are working with this listen. It's not wait. Their parents little girl. It's not just audio because I'll put on one of those while I was rolling up because I I did it with the intention of not starting the music that I wanted to listen to you because I wanted to pay attention to what I was listening to. I was like Oh this keeps coming up on my youtube. Let me play this quick. While I was rolling up friend I was higher than ever before I was like it has to be these frequencies because it just was not natural. I just felt like really like attuned to what was happening. I was like I guess. Much attention in a long time. So don't they really cool about it because it's a natural? It's well I would say a natural way to get high as if we'd isn't natural it's a different way to get high. Maybe if you don't have the money to buy weed or somebody's lighting up on the screen and Love was keenum high because of because I remember rolling up and feeling like I was just tuned into rolling up before I even smoked. It has to be this music and worse it is mad is honesty. You feel very buzzy. What was funny is when I played it on my stories a couple of you went and looked for the one that I was listening because you could see the title and the messages had me dying. Somebody was like girl. What is this I feel High Apple Buzzy? Exactly what I needed and at school because it just shows you the power of frequencies and how you can use it to your advantage. You know like once. He started studying it really look at. It studied the science of it. Yano we are big fans of that here on this show Study or Adams yourselves. What is it? The TA- vibrating. What does that even mean? And how these so federal frequencies can be integrated into your daily scheduled so that you can like. I don't like the term manipulate because it's not like you're trying to manipulate your body but it's just more so gaining understanding of like thing tools. You can use to help you get through the day especially at a time like this so a meditative mind on youtube when like. Asante said they have some videos at eight fucking hours-long literally will not run out aretha. Franklin Funeral Shit saw just wanted to put that into your awareness because it has been extremely helpful for me and hopefully it will be helpful for you and that's it for this week's a wellness segment. Assad Times to music men. When she got I this week it. Excuse me. Excuse me I would just like to say I am Levin the State of Music Right now amen What the world being what it is right now. It's great to have a beautiful escape where artists are getting along and being celebrated and not being pitted against each other. And I just WANNA keep this train going so we can keep you know. Just adding value in power to all of these people They're just a few little things. I kinda WANNA talk about. I didn't watch in read up on everything they don't WanNa talk about such WANNA mention them. Because I know you guys are probably a little bit more in tune than I am. I want to start somewhere really random. Just I want to get this off my chest brandy. We talked about her last week She's back with the track baby. Mama featuring chance the rapper. Now I listen to the song more and more and I've been playing at a lot just because I had to realize was like. Why am I listening to this song because when I heard and I hated it and I was like I'm not listening to Namsong but I'm listening to it more and more because I miss brandies voice and not just love brandy but it's just not a track for me so for Brandy Brandy is Camp Baby Mamas doing what it needs to do? It really is because the numbers are good. Like I've been watching her youtube already. Got The million views on there. I just one another single or something like give me give me the next another. Sounds rude because shout out to brandy for during the visuals. Nausea Choreography gave us an actual music video and has been doing in-home stuff. Thanks Brandy love you. I need another song because I'm glad you're back. I just want a stronger record a different record. This record was strong production-wise but lyrically was missing for me. Understand why the Internet hates this song so much. Everyone was making fun of her for days and absolute loss. I missed with it like please go ahead thin face because I'm not trying to trash. I feel uncomfortable answering. What's wrong with right because I'm not trying to just trash brandies effort okay and I'm also not trying to take away from WHO. She is as an artist and what she means to music. He's done a. She means a lot to music and pop culture as a whole as for like that. Ain't it right I don't it I don't WanNa hear brandy seeing about. I have to keep it a buck. I don't like songs from artists about how much they love kids. That's boring to me boring to me that shaped me. I'm sorry this should mean something to you and your family and uniform Yar sitting up smiling swaying side to side with my mouth closed Ma smiling. Oh the good feelings. In the Child Lauren Hill wrote Zion. Shit it wasn't a typical owed to my child like baby. Mommy is and then then. Okay so so. Let's start there so much that song. His songs like that then Also the the beat the production is great. I love actually. That's why I was so thrown off where she studied saying baby mama better she. She kept repeating baby Mama and they're like so then when like the chance. The rapper feature was completely unexpected. Yeah you know. Like what the hell are you doing here like you? Don't even you married? And he married is so what are you say like Jane? You gotta baby and she got a mama got no you know what I'm saying. I don't understand and while the choreography is Great. Everything so busy everywhere we look. You know it's just like every this is so much going on with the song and the video and then when you watch the video have to hear the song at the same time I just you feel like you're gonna like like an hour you feel like this is gonna be oh shoes hanging out from that house on the wizard of is going to be. Yo Feet. Stick it up the house. That's how you feel overwhelmed. Like a home fell on then like brandy. You got such a voice. You has such a distinct memorable voice all these bells and whistles and and and you know I felt like Mary is it a gun is it a is it a is it. A Bray is a child. Is it a song mark? I just it was just too much for me. I love Randy's boys. I Love Granny's voice. I would love her to come back and something that highlights it showcases that that I can focus on that. You know what I'm saying and not everything baby mama baby it. I liked it I like. I was happy to hear. She sounds fucking great back to her. You know stack harmonies vocals. Like she's just so great and I don't know I heard it and I was like okay. Baby Mama like. I don't know that's where she's at Minot Again. And and another thing that out. That threw me off then. Her daughter just turned eighteen at her daughter. Believe she's Eighteen GonNa be you know what? Let me Google now. So that we're not you know let's make sure they were accurate but she also her daughter singing on the song. Her daughter has a beautiful voice. Says she passed seventeen years she turns eighteen on June. Next next month okay so we are owed shy from turning eighteen as crazy. She Ain't no baby. You know what I'm saying saying you ain't got no baby. You got a grown adult. Dr Lake maybe she said it's been a I'm Yo Mama so I don't I don't know ages missed me completely and maybe it's not for me for those who enjoy good. You know what I'm saying it ain't brandy thing for me. Is that song thing for me? It doesn't become a brand new thing for me until we started looking at it as a choice that she made. Then it's like brandy. What's wrong with you? You know what I'm saying but talking about the song itself just intimates me then make them make sense. Yeah Way. So what do you think about the the? I'm a Mama version of savage the Kirk Franklin. Have you seen the video? Wait what Oh yeah. His home right his wife they did a parody of savage and he had an orchestra side in the front and then the video turn around in panties his wife like passing the baby to the nanny. Initi- raps about being a mother. I understood that with amity. Stop Ama- Momma. Some Michelle Obama like something like that. I O okay. It was Fred Sprig. Yo We don't do what I wanted to bring brandy because that's what I that's what I deciphered about the song I'm like. Why do I keep listening to the song and I realize I just missed brandies voice because it is pretty? Is Your brand beautifully done? It's just not not does not his back honestly sometimes songs like that. And I'm like what the fuck is this shit and being you hear it on the album and then it's like. Oh well this makes sense here but so I don't know if this is a case of bet before whatever the reason it's like our comeback single so like why is baby mama she fair you know that's all I get her comeback single after longtime you know it would have been nice for different topic but we also have to remember an artist is gonNA write about their life so this is where she's at which you say. Get One before you go in the studio. If you need some inspiration spicer spicer life with spice up I saw. Maybe that's what she needs to do. Then you know got you now. Now hold on. We talk about Ray Willie Ray Norwood and Sonia Norwood's daughter rage a cyst. You Ain't got nothing else to talk about all the Shit we know about brandy her people. You Ain't got shit else to write about it baby baby. Mama you nothing else Bob. That's exactly how your though he's doing exactly. I think I would say Barry Mom. Somebody's yelling off of a roof. Line Betty mob like peaches walking down the street and my baby mamas like it's like getting scared it's like it's like you know like a horror movie or they even when you in like a hundred house and you don't know what's GonNa come next what you turn around. The corner is like a corner you turn in that. Soggy Berry Model. You start like every time it's just. It may be drafted around Halloween. This is like I'm like I'm sorry. Bandy. I'm going to be looking at me like I'm crazy when if the album came out and the song fits on the. I'M GONNA be baby my baby Mama. Doug my eighth psalm. Well it makes sense album but hope that happened. I Must Land Emily. Sania voice notes even do to better make a tick tock running up on people baby aside scare Walmart yet in Baby Mama to I will more in new with Obama. Be Biomass bitches doing bomb things. Don't Care Niki Moniz Day. Megan the stallion and beyond say all billboard hot one hundred Heidi's I mean I think the number ones club should just be like this. Like exclusive thing should only be for the best bitches. And it's shaping up to look like that so I to show all the girls. I'm glad that the women are doing amazing things. That's really all that needs to be said there in the spirit of women still doing bad things. Jill Scott and Erica by their verses tuned in from starting to finish was I- Dustin Yukata to assure. Did why bits and pieces so you can give me all of the t's no. I'm not going to do this to myself so please you to go ahead and tell me how it went down. It was amazing. I was happy as hell people making fun of me talking about. Oh Gosh this is about to put France to her final form. They of spirits floating into the sky turning rainbows. I was very happy. I turned off my lights. I had all my candles burning. I had my resins burning. Put the A to g live into the Bluetooth Speaker. Had that joy bringing throughout my whole house June swigging and my X. Chair my little hammock egg chair. You'd know it all my blankets drinking tea. It was just perfect and they killed it. They looked amazing. I love how much love they were. Showing for each other The music I mean that's speaks for itself. Joe Scott I will say I definitely Erica was gonNA spank Jill Scott But it was a lot closer. Thought it would be as like. Oh Not that I'm saying Joe don't have dope songs because I'm still fucking Scott. That first album in itself is a beast so now saying that but I just forgot like yes. It was going to be close. I gotta give it to them. Had it there's been a difference in the The consistency in the music as far as what we were presented with initially in their day albums what they've evolved to as as artists like currently like just makes different music now that she made her first album but air combat do still making music that is consistent with our first album to this day. So for me personally. That's been the difference between the two because I love both of them. You know I started. It was funny because just guy was talking like this. The whole time right she was she was like and this was one day. I two and yes I saw this thing I had ever known I was just like damn now. Do I lay me down this? I don't know if another buyer wet like she's just had the softest most she just looked comfortable. I WANNA HUG DEAL SCOTT. And she beautiful. I really WANNA hug. Jill Scott Baio seem mean. Sometimes when people be so warm like that they can be cold and means is good though one thing that. I really am appreciating about the versus. I guess this is how like like you said how much love there was shown each other but I just really love like all the background that we get like. Y- here about like the tourist pie records happened. It's just an amazing experience to like sitting in with artists. And have that. Full Free Okay. For Autumn one is trying to charge. Shit is good. Because who do you want to go next? Been THE TERM. Who's going next? Who Do you want to go next question? I want the Angelo versus Maxwell. Ooh Come on. You see Ooh Liangelo would never. I really don't think we'll ever see that. But I also didn't think baby-faced would so you never know I don't know but that's my pick the Israel might do it. He just might not cut his camera on the black screen with his sick. We know how it feels at this point. Who you to do Sunday. I WANNA pull out some random mass producers from like the two thousand late late two thousands like Bangladesh and Damn who's the other one danger mcclatch like like that whole squad on those two in particular against each other but like just some of those people because like how for the next one. Nelly and Luda came up. I was like Damn. I didn't even like see that as a Masher but like seeing those together is hard for me to choose because as much as I would like to easily choose ludicrous being in Atlanta popping in Atlanta. Nellie was hitting on Ellie was a voice like nearly had things on who you WANNA to go next. I WANNA see some Olma fucking that. Don't give a fuck what they say. So gimme like Gladys Knight and Dionne Warwick workers from Shit. Patty England is Ronald is aside guy rested so little Richard. But you could have gave me like Lou rich versus Elton John so he could add caddy gay. Sit from all wove up next. I'M GONNA play shot up the good so I don't know I just wanted to see some old people going really like lose control and that care about what they say like shocking and somebody or maybe somebody that's going to be drawn out. I just want more. Give me some more much more saga. Well I'm happy to have. I'm glad I'm glad and happy to have a break from those antics but they are missed so I would like to see as well Not really much else. I WanNa talk about music. There was a random thing. Oh always have like a random Tibbett for you guys. Check out or do you looking for something to watch. I talked about this. Before but audio Mac has a A Youtube Youtube Channel and basically artists perform on there and they have a trap orchestrated where artists come on and performed like migos performed on their righty rich performed on this crazy. Yes and Bali. I bring this up because on audio Max Youtube Channel. They just put a week ago. Lured Dirk Dustin. Homebody is being performed by law. Dirk with a live orchestra on audio Max Youtube Channel for those of you interested. Oh my God you know. That's my song we that that's I'm telling like that that is it's amazing. As I need all initiatives amazing they have like I been slacking on my audio Mac My watches they have. Gop PTSD slash intuition alive. Piano Medley version they have. Oh yes a Latino male version of stunt vegas animal versus Animal slash arm beef on a lot of really cute contents fun content whether it be the music and then also content with prank calls. So there's like a prank call section that they did. They put up a recent episode because a lot of these are. Oh but reese episode or a few months ago and it's where Dave East print called his dad. But if you're just looking for something to do because I know everybody's at home and not all of us WanNa Watch TV. Been running out of things to watch personally so I find myself back on the sphere. A lot just kind of tailoring my recommendations and audio magazine coming and I would like to audio Mac and until you guys recommendations as well and that's pretty much all that to say for the music man segment and now we can get to the listeners lately. So you guys can tell me what y'all have been listening to lately and why are put at a friend? You're not going to start with you. I WANNA give a special shout out very quickly to Louise. I've talked about our last last week. I bought a t shirt from her. It came fast than any other thing that I've ordered so cute. I need to get one. That's a really cool show. Love love love love for boys throat. I've I've talked about it before. Just talked about last week so I'll probably like why do you keep talking about things back to back? It's just a time where I WANNA continue to show support and be consistent in my stride and Ray Lewis again if somebody's super super fucking talented. She doesn't sound like anyone or anything else out and I fucked her heavy. So if you WANNA check her out spelled R. E. L. S. U. I. S. E. Check her out. Give her a listen. Tell the zone since you. That's it again friend. Tell me what you have been listening to because I know you'd be over there jamming. I TWO SONGS. I WANNA play so this first artist. I'm new to her. I don't even know how to say her. Name some praying. Screw it up. I think it's Reimann or Rimon is spelled R. M. O. N. REMO. I'm guessing Ryan just 'cause I signed Ryan Ramon like never mind. I'm not gonNA say that you know. How is it ramming remnant like but rim roster so rim and like? I guess as well as I could see what they are doing you put it. I was saying like like Rockstar M. O. And and the song is I'm a job. The boat and the song is called the morning. And this is how it goes. Swap aid blown. Shoe is to man. Think Paul though it is about women. Oh God Nala. Here's Bandy comedian. So that's Reimann remained. I'm going to look. I'm going to try to find some an look it up there. It does. The second song on a play is amber mark. Amber mark started planning already. She released a new project called eighteen. Ninety four on the twenty ninth and it has three songs on it and the song called wading says. It's a demo so it's really short. I hate what artists do that. You'll be playing with my emotions. 'cause you know they're never gonNA released but I'm GonNa hope and wait. It sounded like a minute and some change. But it's call waiting the demo and this is how it goes. I saw all online. It can't be managed a fan and our give thing just to call my house. I like I like that. A lot beautiful. So that's amber mark waiting from the eighteen ninety four project and that's it doesn't matter to dust the Ross. What you got for us. You know. I've still been stuck on Drake's album the listening to that. Still in love with that I've been listening to old Mary. J. albums yeah really been dipping into her catalogue. Which stemmed from last week I told you otherwise. Tsa Madison who the talent show It didn't come on last week but it's still. The episodes is still her youtube channel but one girl was seeing reminisced by Mary. J. Blige and I was like you know what I played. It blasted it after she saying in just sent me down a rabbit hole. Mary J. Blige cataloging for no games so That's it that's all I want to share. You know Shot to the migos. They have a new song Wrecks too skinny That I think is really doping visuals. Also super cool so check out the video for that. That's nothing to play nothing share Taco Tuesday supposed to do. They should do that. What is fine is the funds? What does they got some? I WanNa talk about well. We in the music man segment though. I do want to talk about this shoutout to daytime teatime which is an amazing Youtube Channel But the daytime teatime. Youtube channel did in our video about the Cardi B. and beyond say song that never happened and they told a bit of a story about what you know the history between behind that track tracking the fact that it did exist. There was a song that Cardi B. and beyond say we're going to be asked going to feature on the Cardi B. Song. Apparently the song was allegedly called wet and the beyond say pulled out of the song after the engineer who was working on the record posted a screen shot of the computer screen ahead. The file name on like Cardi B. I'd say he may posted a quick boomerang. Basically saying that the Song was coming and we all know that the song never came and so it was long rumored that this let me tell you not yes. It was true and it was long rumored that it was true but never really confirmed will recently during the success that the scientists referring to initially in the segment by bio. How does the cat? Featuring Nicki Moniz have taken the Number one spot on the hot one hundred with the say so remix and number two is the savage remakes by Meghan featuring beyond say that started up a conversation amongst like the fans about you know the other popular entertainers people were saying like. Wow the only thing that would make this better is if Cardi you know. Put out a song right now with Riyan as the featured. This would just be insane. You know fans making dream statements right. But it's it brought this beyond Cardi B. Track back to the conversation and once he did the engineer who actually leaked. The photo of it went live on his instagram. Apparently he got requests for interviews. As this book became back to the forefront of the conversation he guided requests for interviews to like you know give have his say or whatever so he declined the request for interviews specifically the one from daytime time but he told her that he was going. Candidates The VLOGGER who owns a channel. He told her that he was going to go live on his instagram later. Like basically share his side of the story so many people have been hitting them up recently about this thing from years ago from thousand seventeen or whatever so he goes live and he says that you know The blog had you know invading my privacy. Or whatever you know I went to a Sam but I only have at the time only had like thirty five hundred followers. Now he has about a little over nine thousand He's a verified account now so he was saying how at now he has all this attention and you know before he only had thirty five hundred five literally what he was saying. I only my little thirty five hundred followers. I was just talking to them. I know beyond said he was going to be looking at me. I know There's going to be looking at my social media my little thirty five hundred dollars. I was saying there with them and basically he was saying how everyone was wrong for sharing the fact this was he did. He didn't WanNa get out and he didn't know that that the people were going to be looking at him and you know that's literally his excuse. There was no accountability taking nothing and the thing that really Motivated media comment on this. Was I just was so shocked that there was like zero accountability taken and this whole reasoning that he was doing well. I only have thirty five hundred follower citing think he was going to get out. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of in my life. I don't care if you have to followers if something is a secret. It's not supposed to be shared information if something's in under embargo that's what you do. You protect the information. You don't share it especially beyond thing and especially you're exactly right Fran especially information on that level especially information connected to your career especially when you work in industry where you're one move makes makes way for your next move so everything you do as a result of the work that you're doing currently why would you sell yourself to be someone who you can't trust with classified information. Why would you Hanson? He literally said you know. I wanted to share with these people. You know that to get excited about this. This is coming whatever. I think it was a big deal. You did no. It was a big deal. You want a your name. He said because you know I I wanted to grow with that. You don't want it to grow them on to. I wanted to do my thing and be out there as a voice too so you know. I share my thirty five hundred followers. Have with one person. You shouldn't have Saturday period and the fact that you would get on this camera and and make this argument at this point in the game. It was super hardy and like super like I just couldn't believe it and this is why you can't take everybody along with you. This is also why beyond as successful as she is because she was paying attention to your ass and you're thirty five hundred followers because you are connected to this project and they were watching every hand that was placed on this project to make sure that there were no leaks which is exactly what you did and I don't know what you want from us now for it of course bring a your name up. 'cause you're the person who made that decision. Which was a poor decision and a mistake that you're feeling the impact of now. So how dare you say that everybody else's tripping because all you was doing this trying to get yeah it wasn't yours to do with it? What didn't belong to you? He ruined his career. Executive changed the trajectory of his holy. Shit and he fucked up. Cardi's fucking bag and her beyond say feature at a time she would have been. Yeah 'cause it was on the heels of Bodak yellow right so that probably would have of that number one big hit into a fucking beyond the beyond site. I Know Cardi must wanted to kill this kid like Kale but you know what I have to say. That sucks. That Cardi had to suffer for that. I agree That's But you know I get it. Beyond says is a vote. She's like that's that's how she's beyond sake. She's play that Cardi strikes me as the type of artists that will come out of that experience. Not Bitter and not in any way harbours inventories beyond say but like okay. I get it. This is how I need to run my shit so that I'm not susceptible to problems like this. This is how I need to run my thing. So that I m s success where she is. This is an example of her business practices in her security practices. This is an example of something that I need to replicate business practices because I want that same type of privacy around my work so he can have the same impact when it's released. I think Cardi is the type who will learned from that situation. And we've never once heard her say anything negative about beyond say in any way related. We never talk about the song. So you know it's still loved there in my Nigga you the one who fucking thing you because you sp- you told something that you weren't supposed to tail and I just can't believe. His rationale was what it was but that was music related. Figured this is the place that it went well right well. Just really quickly. I wanted to play. Listen lately. I forgot that Diana Gordon and somebody to talk about last week. She dropped her project. And I want to talk a shot at Diana Gordon We talked we talked about it before she put a project. Wasted you There's eight songs. There is a new kind of sound for her. She's always done this kind. She's always done like binding. Es Music with so sometimes going to like very experimental but she's always like very specific bag. So I really appreciate her artistry. So if you're looking for a break from the norm but you still don't want to stray too far away checkout Diana Gordon on speaking of What you do because you said that a second ago and triggered something in me Mahela really not Jackson. Mahalia Jackson be done show Mahalia Jackson. Well Jackson released a project called isolation tapes. There's three songs on there. I'm going to play you. A snippet of the first song is called. Brb and I tell you. I just want her to continued being her great and making the the beautiful music she makes with the biometric visual. She makes so shout out to her. This is B. R. B. Got This morning and I looked to my left. God who here Bay and God is seldom pain in my chest. Dr Two and now me baby. You posted up in London the House that we've run. Yeah How's it doing baby? I'm working on my music today. Said Miss You Baby Da. Maho you doing what she does. Such vibe such a really cool Bob. A unique vibe She's not trying to do other girls doing and she's been like that since day. One I randomly Salt Mahalia to like when she was back in London playing a cello or some shit and singing just porn fucking soul out so it's amazing to see her today like making super cool music recognized as this dope queen. This year is so that's GonNa be the segment again that's Mahalia with isolation shea tapes. Check her out and now we can move on to the end of the show keeping keeping up with the that was going to be one or two more. Tv things you want to throw in there. Not when I'm going to do my wrap up I ain't gonNA to ask you. Are you not watching Married medicine the season married medicine. La Here's the thing. So like I love and respect Dr Heavenly and I love how harsh. She's promoting. Merry Medicine L. A. Because ultimately was good for their goose is good for me to medicine Atlanta's Gander so I get that and because of that I've given it a second chance the first season I was less than impressed and Chenille really got on my nerves like she really irritated as I wasn't watching this season Dr Imani and Leah Ass. Who has a new wife on the show that is with Dr Reminding In a business owner entrepreneur. Her own right. I guess he owns like three or four. Really successful beauty supply stores in L. A. And she has a restaurant she also owns a nightclub like she's a serial entrepreneur for real real in her own right so I I was intrigued by that They were conducting interview on Dr Heavenly Youtube Channel and Jasmine Jordan. Who is the girl who said her house? Like a drug dealers house. She skype the into the interview and they had a virtual reunion of their own and argued on. Dr Henley's Youtube Channel reignited my interest in the show so I did watch the first two episodes but I just don't have that much of a takeaway that I felt was commentary where the here's why. I omitted it from my choices to speak about in the last segment. Where if you like to talk about it the floors no I asked because this ain't got shit to say because I was getting a weird temperature my damn so I was watching them first. Couple of episodes. Is this going to be a thing that we're doing or not so? I needed to know if it was just me feeling this way so I just have nothing to say Amen. I just said nothing yet yet. I'll say because again. I was impressed by Leeann on Dr Heavenly Youtube Channel in her interview. So I'll say that I don't have anything to say yet but I am watching and I will continue to watch all right well. Then we'll put a pin in it and then that's it for this week show since you on open it up. Under the safety pin one more time I have one thing to add as far as scripted. Television is concerned idea. It's been some time catching up on For Life on ABC Fifty cent produce. The show is a true story. Check that when you get a chance. And then we'll regroup okay got it got it as always we love you guys so much. Thank you guys so much for listening and we will catch you guys next week. Stay Black and protect your magic addio CR Ben. And Jerry's three new non dairy frozen desserts are a new twist on vegan euphoria. The Ben and Jerry's flavor gurus have taken a big leap this time. They're three nine. Dairy flavors are made with sunflower butter. And they're the perfect sweet. Treat for Vegans Vegetarians. And everyone in between and I do mean in because under that umbrella got an each check out the Ben and Jerry Sunflower Butter lineup. And the whole non dairy family had been JERRY DOT com. That's B. E. N. J. E. R. Y. DOT COM.

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[BYWG BEST OF] The Anxiety Doctor, Dr. Russell Kennedy

Beyond Your Wildest Genes

39:33 min | Last month

[BYWG BEST OF] The Anxiety Doctor, Dr. Russell Kennedy

"Tau Three Four. Six eight. Hello be white WGC tribe. Here's a quick lesson one minute review of our supplement product and book of the month for September. At the end of the PODCAST, I will spend a few extra minutes going into finer details. So we encourage you to listen to the. The supplement of the month for September is our potent probiotic formula called probiotic power blend the ten percent discount code for the month is gut health tenth. So that's lower case G. U. T. H.. E. A. L. T. H.. Can It is case sensitive? Our Book of the month is the Buddha and the bad ass by vision lucky IANNI. Great One. And the product of the month is peak Q. Pi Qe T.'s with the first time ever five percent discount on their entire line of teas using the code capital B. Capital Y. Capital W. capital. All the links discount codes special offers for the program supplement in book will be listed in the show notes an apple podcast post on social media in our weekly newsletter and on our website at www dot beyond your wildest jeans dot Com at the listen now tab. Thanks for listening. Hello everyone and welcome to beyond your wildest jeans podcast. For this week, I'm Dr Ali mcphee and I'm hosting this episode with my guest Dr Russell Kennedy, the anxiety and D. now just as a little pre warning in case, the recording is up to our top standard. This week I'm talking on the East Coast Canada Doctor Russell Kennedy is on the very, very far west coast to Canada and where. Experience were experiencing where I am about one hundred kilometer hour winds which I have no idea what that is miles per hour for all the people listening the states, but it's a lot of wind. So our connection is good but maybe not great and we're GONNA record anyway because it's just too important not to get this done. So Dr Russell Kennedy is a medical doctor with additional degrees and training. And neuroscience and developmental psychology he's a certified Yoga and meditation teacher a professional stand up comedian with over a thousand appearances on comedy clubs stages across north. America, you may have seen him where you are. He is an expert in all things anxiety related because he has studied anxiety extensively both as a medical expert and perhaps even more importantly by dealing with anxiety in his own personal life. So I. Think. We're GONNA have a really helpful discussion today and thank you for joining me Russ or you're more than welcome. Warm. Thanks for having me. Well, I. Just touched on a little bit of who you are what you do. I mean that's clearly only the very very top of the surface. So maybe let's find out a little bit more about you. How did you end up as the anxiety? MD? Well, mostly because I'm an MD that also has anxiety. So those are the two things that I sort of friends together. I, mean I guess going way back my father had schizophrenia. So and my mother was erotic warrior. So that psychotic sperm and neurotic Egged kind of teams together and. You. Got Me. So I watched my dad kinda deteriorate from the time I was about ten until he finally took his own life fifty, two I guess I was twenty six at that time. So I remember a time where I would see him being in the mental hospital and thinking well, you know one day I've got to make this make sense because as a teenager I didn't really know what was going on. You know our medical therapies aren't that great for schizophrenia for sure and I thought I kept thinking he was going to get better and he never really did so I kind of devoted my career to you know mental illness and specifically anxiety because. I've struggled with anxiety since I was a teenager but I can remember. So it's one of the reasons I became a yoga teacher and ironically stand up comedian was You know creativity if you look at the survey Dick Doctors the doctors of ancient India they think that creativity is actually cure for anxiety and I you know I I love doing standup I love doing artistic things because I do think that it does help you know a calm that anxious brain. So in a little nutshell, that's Kinda. That's Kinda. How I do things and I really I really focused on people's stories like, why are they anxious because I'm not a big believer in a lot of medications and a lot of it I can track back to attachment trauma. If you look at Dr Daniel, Siegel's work and that kind of thing I think there's a lot more to mental illness than just treating it with medication or even talk therapy, and well, I'm sure we'll get into that but that's that's a that's a short as I get well and you know. That's why it is such a wonderful fit for our program I mean you know our focus is on epigenetics in and out of the ways that we think the what we eat and what we do and and how we live our life changes. In a sense who we express ourselves as and I love your philosophy of really trying to get to the root causes some of these things and look at behaviors in a different way than simply medicating them or or pretending don't exist there somewhere. Yeah. Because I do think you know in modern medicine these days that you know the the MDC have a limited amount of time and they they do wanNA help for sure I. Think the medical doctors really do want to help and you know when you're a hammer everything looks like a nail. So if you are you know pharmaceutically inclined and you have someone in front of you and you can't give an hour psychotherapy to them. You know it is one of those sort of me jerk reactions and I was like this too. And I practiced a lot with mental health issues as I've practiced by prescribing medications and I'll although I really felt uncomfortable with medications in general. So I always try to get to the root cause and of course, as a GP that's not that's not really you know from a time sense working because you can't spend forty five minutes with each patient or or an hour that you need to really drill down and find their old traumas and really get to the root of these things as opposed to just treating with medication. Absolutely and of course, there's a role for those acute episodes and there's time in place for everything but it's it's nice to have a chance to talk about you know really the basics of this and getting back to the basics of of anxiety. So in your world, what is anxiety? Well that's the million dollar question WanNa leave that is the million dollar question because if I asked one hundred people, what is anxiety I'm ready get probably sixty different answers to that and forty won't even know what anxiety is because they've never really experienced it. You know one of their friends say, Oh, I'm feeling anxious if you've never experienced anxiety before it's really confusing so I don't even like the word anxiety I think that there's a lot of ways that anxiety manifests at manifest eating disorders and kids not going to school in sweating on and Omic symptoms where your body is just kind of on fire. So there's no real consistent. DEFINITION PHRASE ICTY except for my own that I made up, which is basically anxiety is purely anxious stories and thoughts of the mind. and to be differentiated from alarm, which is the body thing which we'll get into I think but. To me is just anxious stories and thoughts, and that's the way I explain it to people and then I have a thing about alarm that goes on after that. But anxiety to me is just anxious stories and thoughts. That's all it is well, and and we hear a lot about anxiety it seems to be. Rampant certainly, I have two teenage children, and at is I think the diagnosis of every third girl. Then No. It's it's just really becoming A. A prevalent. And so anxiety is everywhere and why are we seeing this wire people becoming anxious and and maybe it's always been there but it seems like more again lately. I think because of trump now I'm just I'm just kidding. I'll although although he does there is something called the I think the trump anxiety disorder in the states I. think There's a a recognized trump based anxiety disorder in the states that may actually make it into the DSM. But I think we're just living in a much more anxious world and you know there's two major systems in our body, those the auto ever system, the fighter flight versus rest and Digest, and there's also the social engagement system that Dr Steven porges talks about about how we interact what he calls neuro -ception how we interact with other people's nervous systems based on our own nervous system. and. There's just so much more anxious energy in the world now and kids are just more sensitive to it, and that's why we're seeing such a huge increase in teenagers anxiety because they're picking up on the anxiety that just in the world you know even though we've never lived in a more peaceful time in our existence as human beings. There is more anxiety now than there ever has been before and with the social engagement system. When you know I don't know how old you are want to leave but I'm in my fifties now and when we were younger, we would play with their friends and we would watch their face and if they hurt themselves, we would look at their facial not consciously but we look at their face and we would see that they were upset or if they. Were really really happy. We look at their face and see how that reflected back and there's part of our brain that's really focused on faces and reading a motion, and now with all the kids with everything being screen based, we're not really seeing that one on one face to face interaction that part of the brain isn't being matured anymore. So when you don't have that ability to soothe yourself through other people and the world is really really topsy turvy. It's going to be really hard for you to self regulate to regulate that mind body back together because I do believe at it's at its fundamental basis anxiety results from the mind and the body being disconnected. The mind goes off on its own starts worrying and becoming overly hyperactive and the body has its own way of being hyperactive to your Gut clench is you Sweat more and the to become more and more disenfranchised and and that's why I think yoga should gong you know these practices breathing, allow the mind and body coming back together. So are so effective in anxiety because all you can do all the cognitive therapy in the world that you want. But unless you get that body in line, you're not really GonNa fix that anxiety. My goodness that sounded a bit like a chiropractor there for a minute. Well. There's a little I gotTA. Dr Nima reminds a really good friend of mine. We talk just about every day. So he and I kind of blend back and forth you know I do have a very open way of looking at you know medicine I am a hardcore scientists as well. I am hardcore MD when it comes down to some things but you know you really have to be able to talk to people and I think that's where the alternative health I even don't like using that term you know chiropractors natural past that kind of stuff. They have typically a better way with patients than we do as medical doctors and I think there's a number of reasons for that, which could be an entirely different podcasts but you know you really do need that healing kind of words from your physician I. It's not just a matter of okay. This is what you have. This is what we're GONNA do about it and I think the chiropractors and the natural pass the alternative health, the non allopathic MB doctors are a lot. Better at that in general, then the medical doctors and that's evidenced by the amount of money that spent in the united. States on non allopathic medicine it in two, thousand, fifteen or sixteen I can't remember the exact year. But the spending for the first time eclipsed what it was an Alabama at the medicine to the sort of natural past the chiropractors alternative health practitioners they're making more money than the medical doctors are now because I think they fundamentally have a better rapport with patients i. mean there are great medical doctors out there I met tons and tons of them. Also met medical doctors who are pretty, you know they're more like technicians. You know they're more like, okay. Well, this is wrong with you. This is what we're going to do about it, and there really isn't that human connection that really engages that social engagement system that invokes that placebo effect if you're even going to use that. You know you need that to to really heal. It has to be sort of a multifactorial thing. A doctor isn't just someone you can plug into your symptoms into a computer and they spit out a prescription. And that physical component, the separating the mind from the body. It is impossible I mean we are an integrated system and I as a chiropractor myself. I mean I see that when we were people in their thank nervous system can re equilibrate. Then they can be available to some of those other opportunities to heal and we may not be treating their anxiety in any way but we're giving their body a chance to reset and they're giving their mind a chance to open just a little bit to let that in, which is a wonderful combination. That's what you need to be a true Dr. Yeah it's not an either or game and I I. Think. It's great that we seem to be moving a little bit more into that, which is which is wonderful. So treating anxiety It hasn't been particularly long-term effective Is there a reason for that? You know I think yeah, I think the reason for that is that we You know focus on the mind so much we we use assume that the mind is the nervous system whereas the mind is just a component of the nervous system. We assume that are thinking is actually who we are and that's actually not the case at all and we don't really incorporate the body in the healing of the mind. And this is true across the board among healers is that typically it's kind of you per psychotherapy you go in for if we talk at our problems as human beings, we really do have to talk out our situation to be able to understand it. We have this huge prefrontal cortex in the front of our head that really understands things that very cognitive level and we've made the mistake of believing that we can fix anxiety and depression purely cognitively. So if you look at the Western model or psychologists and psychiatrists, it's like, okay, you go in once a week and you talk to your. Mental health care worker and over the course of a year or two, you're supposed to get a lot better but that doesn't seem to be the case I know lots of people who have been going to their psychiatrists for ten years and I asked are you a lot better? It's like well, no not really, and I kind of have a little joke in there like if you had a leak in your house. And you invited the plumber over once a week for an hour to fix it. And you did that for five years in the leak wasn't a whole lot better when you keep paying that guy, would you go into that? But that's all we have a we were not really I think the biggest problem is that we are not addressing the sense of alarm. It's in the body. We we address the cognitive apart and we need both this other. We don't need psychotherapy, but we need to also embrace the body. We need to sort of get that body regulated get into breathing techniques, get into yoga get an you're gonna get get some sort of sense in your body so that your your mind can slow down enough so that your body and your mind can reconnect and then you can start to re sell regularly because if you can't sell regulate, you're going to be anxious for the rest of your life. So it's really really important to start a realize that anxiety is just basically the thoughts of the mind what we really need to treat what we really need to get this sense of alarm the body. So we really need to work on body based techniques along with cognitive therapy that really joined together, and I think that's why our long term success rate with anxiety. And Depression, to some extent are not that great because we're not including the body in the healing of the mind and I think we're going to look back in ten twenty five years ago. Why did we just ignore the body? Why do we think that we could do it all through the mind because we can't we just simply can't he'll just using mind. Bay Strategies. Well and and that sort of prom such little theoretical thought my mind is were talking about that because we're seeing probably the most sedentary population we have ever seen you know sitting is the new smoking. It is the root of all kinds of of health challenges and and perhaps is is part of the root of some of this influx of anxiety and depression that we do see in the population. Yeah I mean if you look at. You know Steven porges talks about the The BAGEL theory of. The the TRIUNE VEGAS The three part Vegas nerve, and he when he's hearts about venture bakers that's the nerve, its tenth cranial nerve. It's the nerve that kind of runs through our whole body almost and calms us down. Now if we're not using that nerve properly, we're not GONNA get better and there is something called the Dorsal vagus, which is the annihilated kind of primitive vegas nerve, which really is what animals get when they're cornered by a Predator go into what's Dorsal vagus freeze, and that's what a lot of us go into in deep anxiety or depression. We get into this dorsal vaguely freeze response and the tendency is to sit there or lie there in bed with your cover's tucked up to your Chin and not. Moving and all that does is allow you to stay in your head get a lot more cognitive, which is knocking to help you because typically when your alarm you're GonNa create stories based on that negative feeling in your body that are negative. So movement in and of itself starts getting you out of that Dorsal vagus it starts moving you into ventral. Bagel it starts moving you into a an area that can be fixed or moved around. But if you're just frozen there and sitting on some level is form. Of that as well. You'RE NOT GONNA move even getting up and putting on some music and just your brains out in your bedroom is going to help you with anxiety. It will automatically start get you of that Dorsal Bagel shutdown and into some sort of activation, and then when you get into activation, you can move into what I call the green stage. I haven't full traffic light analogy which is red is Dorsal Bagel. Freeze yellow is activation because basically we need to be activated. That's what emotion is therefore. And then green is this curious receptive playful state where we start integrating a lot of the things that we're learning and we're in if you're in fighter flight and you're in a therapy session for the entire fighter flight, your brain isn't GonNa absorb very much of that therapy session at all need to get people back in the green stage where their body is relaxed of their mind is open at that point, and then you can start working with some of these these issues but if someone's in Dorsal vagus. Freeze, you have to get the motor freezer. They're not gonNA hear anything. That's a great. That's a great point. And, and that kind of leads us to where we love to focus podcast is you know giving people some tools for themselves. You know what are some practical things that people can do to help understand what's going on maybe helped anxieties symptoms. What could well you? The biggest thing I think is to match your breath in your movement because like I say your mind and your body become disconnected and anxiety your mind goes off on its own little. You know worry trip and your body gets separated from. And your your body will react any story that you tell it as if it's actually happening. So these horrible stories that we tell ourselves based on the alarm that's in our system based on the alarm that's in our body. Gets read by the mind and says, okay well, what are we alarmed about? Well, we're alarmed about money were alarmed about our relationship were alarmed about you know should I spend this? Should I buy? It should get this. You know there's a lot of alarm in there and if we can't calm that alarm first, then the thoughts are just GonNa follow and then the thoughts are just gonNa make everything worse. So basically what I think happens is that you get this alarm in your system which I think comes from two cases one. From unresolved trauma and to from some people are just really sensitive. You know. So they're just really sensitive the other nommik nervous system at sympathetic fight or flight, and then your body feels that way. Your mind is going to make up a story that's completely consistent with how you feel and then that goes up to your your brain. You make the story up and then the story in the alarm in your body and the alarm and your body and blames the story. So you get into what I call the alarm anxiety cycle. So what we what we have to do is is basically attacked the cycle from both sides we have to. We have to kind of dismember the the psycho. We have to break the cycle because if you let alarming anxiety link together, you're never going to get into that so if you can separate the thought. From. The. Emotion. Behind it then you can start really uncoupling this old. Anxiety alarm program that's locking you in distress. So things like matching your breath and your movement, you know really focusing on your breath getting really in the moment as much as in the moments you know the catchphrase these days but getting in the moment getting into your body really feeling your body a lot of people have never really made a conscious thing like what does my body feel like right now you know just sitting. In a chair or what is my breathing feel like right now we're. So in our heads, we're so trying to explain everything all the time. So getting into your body would be the first thing movement is another thing move into something like getting up and dancing moving yoga gone? That's why Yoga Shagong are so helpful with anxiety is because it a matches, your breath and your mood your movement together and it gets you moving. And on top of that, you know you do need some cognitive therapeutic into understand what happened use a child typically depending on how severe your anxiety is. And it's the combination of both. And what I fear when I see a lot of people going in for these cognitive therapies and they don't address the body at all. So the healing you get from that is relatively short lived because I. Think the body component is probably in a way a little more important than the mind component. If you fix the alarm in the body, you know by Yoga to reading properly feeling your body getting in feeling your butt in the chair feeling your hands on your thighs get into your body. It automatically takes you out of your head. And anything that takes you out of your head takes you away from those horrible stories you're telling yourself. And then those horrible stories you can deal with with some cognitive therapy. I'm not against like I said, I'm not against cognitive therapy at all I. think it's amazing. But just cognitive therapy alone is not gonna fix you. Now that was a long ramble. So I don't know if I made a whole lot of sense there. But the bottom line is that you have to address the alarm that's in your system. You have to address the alarm that's in your body and great ways of doing that are movement matching a breath and movement together breathing chanting meditation I'm I'm I really a mixed mind about as far as anxiety goes because a lot of people. GonNa. Remember. That anxiety started off as a defense coping mechanism usually when we're younger so anything it's going to take that defense mechanism away from you is going to increase ironically more anxieties going to give you more anxiety. so meditation for some people seems to help but if you're meditating and it's making you worse, just be really aware of that because he meditation is not a cure all for anxiety. And it can actually make some people worst but really it's it's getting into your body. It's getting creative as well as what I said at the start of the root, what do you like like what do you really have an affinity to? What are you good at what's your superpower and focus on that but was on some creativity and that will take. Some of that anxious energy away from you as well. But really I think the biggest problem that we make in North America is treating the mind over and over again with therapy not really addressing the body and putting a tremendous amount of pressure on psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers to fix us when we really need to take that responsibility to ourselves and we can. Fix, the body we can do lots of things that are body base. We don't need therapies therapists for that, but it also creates this really nice fertile, foundation for when you do go in and talk it out. You've already got some you know alarm reduction and alarm reductions skill that you can use anytime day one of the things that I love asking. Myself when I waking up when exiled in the middle of the night is am I say in this moment like in this moment am I safe because anxiety is always always always about the future so am I safe in this moment and almost always the answer is yes. So if you're safe in this moment, you're safe because all we have is this moment. So. Again, another ramble, which is what you get with me well. It's kind of ironic because I, I do yoga quite regularly myself and I it wasn't today's class I think maybe it was on Friday last week and that is actually how that particular Yoga instructor started the class is when everyone's lying they're getting ready to start as you know. Is there any threat to you right now? You're in a safe place. So you can let all of that stuff go and just be on your Matt. It was it was ironic because I was just finishing doing some prep for our talk today and it was just tied everything together with a nice little boat, and then here you are doing it. Nice. Yeah. You know the other thing about yoga too is that there's all sorts of yoga. I'm a real big fan of Basic Hatha Yoga mashing your breath in your moving. You don't have to dance around. You don't have to twist yourself into a pressel. It's draft yourself into wordpress pressel you just have to. Stay in the moment breathe with your movement and all this sort of hot yoga. You Know Yin Vanessa, Yin. Yoga actually really really good is it slows right down but we're returning yoga into an exercise and really what it was meant to be a nice way of your mind and your breathing and your body all coming together in this nice little flow state. You know that's what it was designed do, and now we've kind of changing into this commercial enterprise but really ultimately the when the yoga you're going to get the most effective is one that's nice and slow you can be intense for sure but it just matching your breath in your movement and making you feel in your body. So many times that you're listening to this in the car failure but on on your seat, just really what is your body feel like because we don't do that in this society we don't feel our bodies we feel through our heads and that's one of the reasons why we're getting. So anxious were not grounded anymore. And and that people really are as a chiropractor certainly I see it every single day multiple times you know how disconnected people really can become from their body and teaching them to to feel that again to acknowledge it to recognize it, and then to do what needs to be done or let that go is is really a big part of of healing from all kinds of things not just anxiety. Up to So I know you are working on a book. Yeah I work out a book right now called the ABC's of anxiety and basically I take every letter of the alphabet. It's kind of looks like a bit of a Children's book and I I haven't gone talking about editor about how this is GonNa look but I take every letter of the alphabet and I and I- I contrast that like the first one a is awareness versus autopilot. Because most most of our lives we go through on autopilot. We just kind of you know do things the way of kids have to go to basketball practice and then we do this and we do that, and then we just get caught in our heads in this like were of you know this chronic chatter of our minds and just being aware of that being aware of what you tell yourself, what do you consciously tell me yourself and then also when you're aware of what you're consciously telling, yourself can be aware of what you're unconsciously telling yourself, which is probably even more important but it's just getting. It's just getting into that. That arena where you the sense of awareness versus just going through this autopilot just what I said before about about the what I said before about getting feeling your butt in the seat of the car. You know we don't do that. There's a thing called one breath meditation. Or. You basically just take one breath and you focus all your energies doesn't take takes what twelve seconds. At it's just one breath meditation and you just breathe in. And Breathe. Out. So I encourage everybody let's let's do that right now. Just do a one breath meditation feeling your body or any just sorta nice deep breath in. A nice deep breath all the way out. There you go. You're already a little more calm. You're more your body. It's not that hard. You know it really is not that hard, but we make it hard. And you have an online program as well. Yeah, it's called the Kennedy Method Online and That's www address, the kennedy method online dot. Com and it's pretty much a masterclass in anxiety. It's not sort of something for pure like I'll have a little bit of anxiety. It's offense ID really running your life and I just got a brilliant review from one of the psychiatrists over in. Vancouver about it. Because it really does go into my history with anxiety and how. At how has ruled my life for so long and just understanding where it comes from and more importantly what you can do about it, how you can use sort of body based practices and mind based practices as well to to heal, and that's really what it comes down to. It's fairly I'll tell you. It's fairly extensive though it's I think it's I. Mean it's only eight hours as far as continuous video, but it's it's full. Of of different bits of information, it'll take you back to your childhood. It'll go through your anxiety alarm mechanism and how you can. You can separate the thoughts of your mind from the alarm in your body and realize because that's one of the biggest tips that I can give you is when you're anxious, you're feeling anxious stop trusting your mind because it's not gonNA help you. It's only gonNA, take you down a deeper deeper path anxiety. So, what's really important you know probably one of the single best thing I can tell you as I am I safe and this moment is always great. But just realizing that when you're anxious your thoughts are not your friend your thoughts as much as you believe, your thoughts are helping you. They're actually making you worse. I had a patient of mine years ago committed and talk to me and he lost his wife needs to Dr Kennedy I'm so anxious and depressed I just gotTa, dig, myself, out of this whole. And I said well. It can't dig yourself out of a whole dude I mean I don't know I said Dude, but you can't dig yourself out of a whole. When you're in a hole stop digging. So one of the biggest things that I tell people is you know get into your body breathe into your body and stop listening to your mind because your mind is not helping you. I mean, unless you could start going into positive affirmations but I really you know things like meditation things like breathing things that get you into your body and out of your head. Are. The ways that are you know lead you to more towards recovery because your mind as much as you think it's there to help you When you're anxious. You're anxious mind is trying to run you and it's trying. To make you more anxious and it's not doing it on purpose it's just the way the mind works. It's always looking for answers and typically we're not anxious about stuff. We know the answer to were anxious about uncertainty of some kind and that when the mind gets old of uncertainty, all tell you there is no way of net go unless you get into your body. That's that's really powerful I mean I have a feeling people are going to be rewinding it listening to this a couple of times to make sure they get all those gems that are there and We will certainly have love your contact information. You are connections and your online course link on our show notes as well as on the website when this is posted very soon. So that will be available for anybody who's listening to this in their car. You don't have to worry about pulling all right now writing that down, we'll have it for you. To got YouTube page and a facebook page and the anxiety md.. Site and everything kind of feeds into each other. So if you get into one of them, you'll find all of them. Perfect. Put all of those things up there. So that'll be great. And I think you know one of the things that treat me about. Actually. Saw Your stuff on facebook I before reaching out to do this podcast is is just how incredibly wonderful a combination that is of having your expertise and your knowledge and and yet. Your experience because sometimes you know being able to go through that and see what works and see what doesn't. Put all those pieces together is really a very personal journey and it's something that a lot of people can benefit from. So we appreciate you sharing that today. Thanks I really appreciate that Yeah I've been both anxiety doctor and anxiety patient. So I get cut out the middleman I. Figure out what works for me, not that what you know works for me is going to work for everybody but I mean I think there are some fundamental mistakes that we're making this society at treating anxiety and depression to some extent and all mental illness, and I try and get my word out there and that there is an alternative if there's A. Different way of doing things and I and I hope that I'll be able to do more of that as time goes by well when your book comes out, we'll get a chance to do this again then great. But until then is there any final comment? Any message? Any thought you WANNA leave with our audience or any action if I thought is not appropriate. I think you know starting to do that one minute or one breath meditation. Just just committing to that for a week and just seeing what it's like to be in your body. and. Just seeing what it's like because most of us spend so much time in our heads that we don't even realize that the body is there and the body is the way we're going to heal from mental illness. The body is the way that we're going to heal from a lot of these things that are happening to us. Now because you're just inundated inundated with these cognitive thinking processes and things that are going on in the world and shootings, and all this stuff is we really have to fundamentally reconnect with our body and you know the one breath meditation I think is great to start just just to start getting into. That because most of us I know I was like this. You know when I started doing this about fifteen years ago just completely in my head completely in my head and of course, I was going to get more and more anxious. So just realizing that there's another that your mind is only a component of your nervous system as much as it tries to convince you that it's the whole thing it's not it's really it's really getting into your body and not again not that there's anything wrong with your mind it's just that once you get into your body, you see a whole new perspective and that's really that's really what he'll meet. That's wonderful. So thanks for joining us. This was Dr Russell Kennedy anxiety empty. And I will be putting all those notes on the show notes all of the contact information, facebook, social media, all kinds of things. So you'll be able to hear more from him and we appreciate you joining US Russell and we hope to do that again where we have an opportunity to see your new book. So that will be fun. And thanks everyone else for listening. If you like what you hear please share it. It's free as always head to itunes Youtube spotify go to the website www beyond joel jeans dot com, and you can download listen share whatever you need to do to make sure that this wonderful message out to as many people as possible and of course, while you're on the website registered. For our weekly newsletter, we bring all kinds of of different information to a written medium as well, and we do share a few extra recordings from time to time. So it gives you a way to keep track of what we're up to. So thank you everyone for listening. Thanks for sharing our passion to create a healthier world, and we hope you join us for more next week. He guys in I'm back are September supplement of the month is our very own probiotic power blend probiotics are probably the most varied and confusing submits available. There are over two hundred strains of probiotics and not are all created equal or the same benefit. We have done the hard work for you. We spent months researching the best recommendations in reading the current literature to identify the top nine strains to include in our probiotic power blend. Pro Power blend contains probiotic strains that are temperature and acid resistant. So they make it through the stomach and into the intestinal track for more effectiveness for the entire month. Of September. If you use the Code Gut Health Ten, you'll receive ten percents off this incredibly potency probiotic. You can pick it up at our office or website at www dot beyond your wildest jeans dot com the. September twenty twenty book of the month is the Buddha in the bass, the secret spiritual art of succeed succeeding at work by Vision Lucky honor founder of Mine Valley both Dr Mike, and I love this book and recently devoured in just a few days for me. Personally the last chapter specifically revolving around the idea of lofty questions with specifically empowering. We highly suggest you check out this book. Are highlighted. Product of the month is a return favorite and one of my personal favorites as well. Peak tease peak teas are the freshest in rarest plant extracted via a proprietary cold brew crystallization. I gently preserves active compounds at maximum potential. Include things like green tea's black teas, herbal teas, superfoods, and so much more. Just tear open a small sachet mix it with either cold or hot water per directions, and you have an incredible tasting. Incredible healthy beverage ready to go and they beautifully with probiotics for great digestive help. 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The Beautifully Balanced Brain with Dr. Louise Swartswalter

The Toxin Terminator

41:50 min | 2 months ago

The Beautifully Balanced Brain with Dr. Louise Swartswalter

"Welcome to the Toxin Terminator Helping People to restore and renew their health by removing the toxins from the home and their lives join in as industry thought leaders, help you understand the physical and emotional effects. These product can have on you and your family and the safe alternative. You can use to remove the hidden taxes for renewed health. Now, please welcome your host, the Toxin Terminator Herself Amy Carlson. And welcome back to the show. I'm so glad you guys are all here. Make sure that you're giving us some love I would love to hear you reviews and hit that subscribe button. So you don't miss out in any episodes we come to you every Monday and Thursday. Now today's gassed listen. If you struggle with fatigue, you've got burn out stress pain or you're just feeling stuck in your in this that you just can't get yourself out of this is the episode for you today, my guest today has better than twenty years. And, helping over forty, five, thousand people, she uses naturopathy. She has biofeedback works with trauma release NLP. If you don't know what that is tune in, because you're gonna WanNa know and working with our energy, she is the founder and owner of brain cells, Success Academy, and creator of the brain system, and I'm going to get her to talk to us a little bit about mine gems today too we are so. Proud and pleased to have Dr Louis swelter. Coming on the show today as a gift to be with you. Thank you so much, Amy for inviting me. I'm really excited to be with you today in all of your guests. Some I know I met I met Dr Schwartz Wilder? Summit actually we did an interview and all boy was hit it off. The energy levels are just so good together, and we thought a gotTa. Go get on each other's podcast and make sure that we're helping and supporting each other out. So I couldn't be more happy to introduce to the audience you came up with the brain system. Let's talk a little bit about that I is that okay? Yeah, absolutely. Yes. So you know the brain system really came out of my own path of healing. So we all get somewhere some way else. So I was pretty sick myself and just really seeking. All kinds of allergies I chronic fatigue I had every you know lavely can imagine doctor Houston was wrong with me. They said, I ra- my Hauser, they said multiple sclerosis chronic fatigue. And so I was really just seeking for answers in at the time. I, was a young mom had two kids at home. And it was really difficult. All I wanted to do is just kind of be their mom. I remember praying about that and I was led to some Great Alternative Doctors Medicine help me. Yes just stood. It helped me. So I couldn't do medications. They made me sick. So I just kept looking and what I ended up doing was I working on my physical body by changing my diet and taking supplements found a great chiropractor. Who really out knee and but what happened in the journey of healing is that did get me all the way right now. I realize you do more, and so the brain system really is that it's body mind spirit and energy work. Rain stands for body is the body piece all the stuff I did in the beginning, right? And then are is releasing and what I discovered was all these amazing releasing techniques to release. Not only past trauma and emotions and all the mental. You know stuff that happens in our brains while also even ancestoral programs and patterns that we don't need to hold onto anymore. So I, delving into that and I got better. But I still wasn't where I wanted to be. An alanine would spirit a is aligned with spirit and that's all. Healing. I was believed there's a spiritual component to all healing were spiritual bodies. So that's what the as stands for is integrating in his integrating your rain frequencies to your souls troop purpose. So I kind of figured out how to do that for myself I. of course, I, took this tall my clients and the ad is one of my favorite parts new program. Partha missing healing and health because we can take out the garbage and we can detox, but we forget to put in the new program of how you WANNA show up in the world and white you WANNA do. Brian I call getting people back two hundred percents their soul truth. So then the Anisa new program. So that's how it became is really an acronym, Ryan R, I. N, for this holistic five step approach that helped totally not only he'll my physical mental emotional body, but I'll blow my wife and such big way. ACCOLADE. With the start using it with my clients started fine with different parts of it. In the nine. All Surges Jell together, and that's how it came to be. I just love that in. There were lots of things that you talked about. So the the be is the body, it's, it's. It's the want to walk back to the steps because I want you to give us some tips within each one of those. If you don't mind and you, you've shared a bit of your personal story which I always love to hear because. So many of us that do what we do. It's because we've had our own personal journey through our own Disease in in struggles and frustrations. So Body we cover that a lot. It's that removing of the toxins that are entering into the body however those are entering correct. Yes. Yes, and so the bond pieces detox exhausts the natural path song naturopathic doctor biofeedback therapists. Energy worker is. A different classes and on my gosh too many certifications that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. Just matters what the result is. Right? Right. Really want the result is and so when I think of body itself it's It's it's diet. You know it's exercise is getting sleep. Eating healthy foods you know, and it is about detoxing, right? You know what I see is one of the biggest problems, today's heavy metals. Pathogens that commended clean them up, right. Heavy metals from on the trolling world from. Working around petroleum products right now. So all of the jet fuel in in the in the auto exhausted, you know and the pesticides herbicides chemicals that we use in our world saw as a tip. I would say, definitely, do as many things Nash raise you. Go back to a great great grandma. Did exactly I've been reading a lot about heavy metals because it's my understanding that is specifically with heavy metals I. Mean, we come into a lot of contact with a lot of different toxins in. So there's two two questions with this First of all, I believe that the detoxing process never ends because we are still being bombarded on a regular basis with toxins. We WanNa make sure this is not a one time out more died. We have to continue to support the body. But secondly, heavy metal specifically cannot leave the body on their own. They have to have something a the body in order for them to be pulled out. Is that correct? Did I learned that correctly? And you know, and there's lots of ways like I'm like I'm the Queen of that reason why? Because I to do it myself. But I mean, I was on oxygen from Mercury. Poisoning. I went down to eighty nine hounds. I wore a mask. I was chemically sensitive back in nineteen, ninety, two, ninety, three. I, felt weird. Then people would stare at me in stores because I had a mascot I almost. This is what's Funny or some. Different or weird that you know here we are. We have designer masks now and you know like. As a really different world. But so that was my that was my life. What I had to do as I had to Vitamin C. Salon, draw. Those are easy. That's I-IT's rioting. Easy thing to do. There's definitely lots of supplements that are great key layers of heavy metals alpha? LIPOIC ACID, Aussitot, sixty, I ended up in ASANA programs for five weeks sweating. NEOM liver were shut down and I had to use my skin, which is your largest or. To get it out of you and it was a medical doctor. You know. It's forty this program working with me, and so it was a thirty minute walks in a dry heeds not in red. Dry Heat Sauna and occult showers. Thirty minute walk cold shower. Who did that for five weeks? Wow. Wow. Amazing people in that program who also had heavy metal wasting as disciples name from the chemicals in our environment in our world. Right. So even that could be a book, right? Oh absolutely, I was reading just recently on I'm going to butcher the name of this but Khalil. Yes. Clara, Kerala. Clara. So Son Clara, the little green tablets. type of algae. And they worked to detox heavy metals. So I've taken those you know on and off for years. But in the beginning, we didn't WANNA the APP, right and then I did he have to like say support Qb river I still do Asana. I have a dry heat sonnet weep purchases in my garage. Keeps me healthy. and. So there's lots of ways to detox just for anyone. Wanting. To do this, I would say off your level of Vitamin C. K may make sure you're taking antioxidants eating organic food without us, decides herbicides on grow your own if you can right write you something fun that you like that makes you sweat. Shower afterwards, I love that now. Why the dry heat versus the infrared because I heard such mixed. We have an infrared sauna at our home in. Mesa, because the infrared is supposed to be very good about polling toxins out of the body. On. But jere recommending a dry heat. Yeah, you know what I like to sweat. So for me personally when I'm when I can like sweat in feels like I'm releasing more right, dry a infrared heat you from the inside out. Okay, some people don't sweat. No. Good. Absolutely. Okay. alrighty. Would it worked the same I? Think it's going to be an individual twice as going to be different for each individual Gotcha. Why can attest that I sweat like crazy and my infrared sauna? and. That's the whole reason for doing it is the that sweating when we're down there in the wintertime, it's viewed a fall is that we don't heat our pool. So my husband and I both, we do an infrared sauna for thirty minutes and go jump in the pool, which is fifty degrees in in the wintertime, which is amazing in the body feels so good at and doing that. Okay. So we talked about the body. Let's keep it moving here. I apologize 'cause we got all kinds of stuff to get through. Now. Our is a release, right? Yes. So are releasing and so it's it's releasing on emotions. Yes. Releasing a mental patterns that Kinda gets stuck. Maybe, even if it's the invalidation that you reality each three when you got in trouble. You know in mom y'all do you or whatever. And then we hold that energy. We carry that sort of feeling of being invalidated rejection, right will live on that pattern keeps repeating. So oftentimes, we're working with somebody who's older and what, how helping them finally boosts their confidence again. Nozzles all patterns you have to be released. Now, you talked about ancestral programming muddy. Is that what you're talking about just now are Sarah even even further. Oh, it's all can be even further. So when I say both what I mean is is I. Like to release the brain soul connection in the brain sold walks to know anything had occurred in your lifetime or traumas that you had. He has what they do is they create a cellular memory in the brain. So it's it's based on really Dr Hamer's were only energy work feels highly intuitive process that I now teach is so much stronger in it sticks than any other energy works that I've used. You know it just sticks differently. So you know it's to me. It's stronger than Regi. They're all good. I rhyme every technique outfits nobody. is stronger than Rakyat, stronger than pride healing. You know it's stronger than some of that mindset work. It's stronger than NLP by itself Right Moods, which is neuro linguistic. Programming rights with. To retrain the in, it's really based on this Dr Hamer was German doctor that discover that trauma causes illness. K.. So his son was shot at age seventeen and died and three months later, he got testicular cancer. Is hypothesised. Was that trauma causes illness he started working on the trauma and his cancer went away. He was a cancer doctor. So he worked with a lot of patients who had cancer he started working on their trauma in their cancer disappeared. Oh that sounds funny. A what he did, that was so scientific that I like is he took pictures of their brains and he would show there was a lesion in the brain. Maybe in the top Rollo created to wedding would call the. It stinks moment of when you were shot in your room because you were bad. Okay. And you weren't able easy when you you weren't. You weren't allowed to eat dinner right or something like some punishment or something. or it could be something bigger. You know this was a this was a rape. This was an abuse. This was. An accident. You know what he did is after he cleared the trauma, took another picture of the brain that lesion was gone. I. I've always always believed. The emotions are so so powerful in body. And they're stored in the body that can really caused a lot of damage to us in listening to that. Just makes it. You know tenfold again how you know our emotions affect us? Yeah. So yeah. So we are emotional beings before we're physical beings and we're actually spiritual beings before before. I WANNA say before it's complete. We're whole people that way. Right you know. So we are. Your a a soul with a body, a body with a soul. By my first experience with those of really making a an impact is I. I lost my brother Oh. It's been on almost twelve years ago now and his. It was after a long lifetime illness that two years of. Not Not. So pleasant times and anyways his his daughter who at the time was twelve years old when he passed. Develop type one diabetes within six months of him passing, and if you look to the emotion behind type one diabetes since grief. Yeah. And? Now, you release the grief. You know. So you release the grief, but you have to release the grief where it is in the physical body. In the pancreas. Right. But then you also have to release degree from the field. Okay. In the energy field, the trauma. And so the technique that I put together called brain soul balancing does that. So I find where the trauma was. So hypothetically, for this woman, you know, let's say it's, let's say his grief Lawson betrayal, right? Knee. So of great loss MMA trailer in the. Pancreas. Chief on her good working pancreas ride to do. It stall and so stole her happiness. It's still her success. It's still her former movement. It's still her peace of mind and it's stalled her belief about the future relationship that she could have had your with that. You know that that family in her. Now when I say that when I just know is in the field I, probably helped her because we're thinking about her, but on a bigger level than anything, she can experience because we cleared it at the Brain Saul level, we're clearing the conduit pipe between mannion gotten gotten. Clearing, the spaces in the brain out, which is your spiritual body. Right. So it it affects you more deeply and you would appreciate this. The wire fraud trial steeler destroys from John Ten in the Bible So it's clearing a very deeper soul level. Of something that got stock. There's other ways to do it. I can clearmotion like that using some. Techniques to clear emotions. And that's important to write this. Just as a little deeper. I, love that because you know to me every time. How do I want to stay? I like how you devout. You talk about the pipe line, you know because? You know if there's things that are in my life that are of negative energy of negative influence, it's because there's been a blockage in that pathway to you know my God, my spirituality, which is God and something's been blocked in there. Things. Then you know stopped on my behalf, not his you know on my behalf and removing that than that back up, and then you get that total rejuvenation happening in your life again. I. Love You tie that in. Yes. So it's very, it's. It's very spiritual. Yes. But again, we're spiritual beings. Yes. It sometimes feels to unite was probably confused about this before now I, see it more clearly. And I, do see the the clarity about the fact that we have to work all different bodies if you will Braga's. clearings on your spiritual body, and they're gonNa Affect your physical right. But if you're not taking care of your health eating right and exercising doing things you need you're still not gonNA feel. At all. Yes. You have as the Basel. And that's the and that's. You. Know if if people can get just that one little tidbit of information right there. It's a combination of all. You can't just do one piece of the puzzle and expect the puzzle to all come together You know we have to move know we have to get all those moving parts going in the same direction and most of us are going to start with one of them. Right nominee barely rarely. Do we see somebody star and start doing all of them together, they start with one piece and then realize wait a minute I'm still not optimized jet lets out another piece in and. Go from there. I just loved the. Did. You know that many of us have symptoms of toxin overload in our bodies, we don't even know it signs of toxic overload could be headaches, fatigue, insomnia, skin issues like acne, psoriasis, and hormonal imbalances, and the list just keeps on going, but the problem I had and I'm sure many of you of had is, how can you know how? Well you're managing your toxic risk? That's why I've put together free toxic risk assessment that will help you discover what products might be. Be Contributing to your toxic symptoms and what small changes you can make to detox and cleanse your health. After you take the assessment, you're going to get my free toxic-free home shopping guide. This is the easy button for finding the right products to shop for. These are the products I've been using in my home and the products I. Give My stamp of approval on take your free assessment now at Amy Carlson, dot, com to get on the path of detoxing cleansing your health. Yeah Yeah. It's really. It's really important, and then when when I work with people, I, actually do assign Mutatis. Connection of all. Right now, what I found was, and this is what I how I discovered. It was I was a dyslexic therapist in my other lifetime. So I was a special education teacher when I taught kids to read, write and spell. So later in that, you know I I actually went to. Get like a masters program and how to teach that really how to help them change their brain and Graham. Being able to do the phonics being able to. Decipher a word, the really figure it out. So that was a hiccup for most of those kids, they could have super high cues be really really smart, but they just didn't have the scenic awareness, nor could they blend sounds and syllables together right away. We changed their brain was we had to do with what you see with what you say with what you write with what you hear at the same time. Right, and why do that because we would skyrocket be at the tea table, took a apple at, and we would put it together some like writing that in the air in cursive, right? He ensure that since you're listening here. While we found was one. We do that Kiswah jumped to gray laws in reading in six months. Wow. But they couldn't get it. If it wasn't multi sensory and other words, they were connecting what they said the name of the letter. The sound of the letter, the way you wrote it the way it looked the way it felt we would do it in sand. Dude in quitting and that helps change the brain. What I figured out because it took sixteen years to heal was I woke up one day and said Oh my gosh. When we're changing the brain and we're helping people with that and in helping kids with that. It was a multi sensory multidimensional programs, right year for healing and health I handle over a year to my nutritionist over here to my doctor over here to my spiritual teacher over here to my you know and unlike. Todd, I'm all done I'm trying to put this whole puzzle together. So the reason the brain system was born in the is because when you do it all together. It, it's sticks and it creates a much faster result. And that was a light lightbulb moment for me. So what I just said then is not the way we want to do it. We do want to be doing all those pieces together, not one at a time if you know if we can get into this one. Piece, you know this one big. You know sensory. -sition, we can instead take sixteen years to heal. We can be healed in a much shorter period of time he asked. Anna takes takes just takes using the system isolated saw wanNA came in with a physical body issue, not being able to digest food. Okay. Four stomach surgeries for Mayo Clinic. Okay. Like like I was eighty nine pounds super sick. You know panic attacks go in the hospital all the time you know just not healthy at all. So obviously, you have to start their right. But when we started there and we the emotional component to right and then she learned the system herself. You know within a year. She was better within four weeks. You better was year. She was better within two years she was already working. Working in the world in working for me an now, she's starting her own business. I, love it, but she was like dying. and. nonstopping in the medical freshman was gonNA help her wasn't helping her right because it wasn't just that it was onto emotional and spiritual as well in had done together I. Love that. Now we've been talking a lot about physical health, but a lot of what you do helps people not only handle their physical health, but your. Your. Success. In. It you know. So. Many of us I think emotionally block ourselves from success in life. Career, paths. You know what how we? Go out to our communities in fact. You know those ripples that we put out to the community. What is the What's the word I'm looking for? What? What? What's the legacy that we're going to leave behind? And and a lot of your work will handle and work with those components to right. Yes. Will I nine the example of Wanda snogging has a business you know and she was super sick and never even thought she was gonna work again, she's been retired she learned the system and use the system Deanna came with a traumatic brain injury in three months. That was better because I. I am Lebron Guru, I to on the brain and I use narrow biofeedback, all these tools. and. The whole system at the same time on. So we released all of her past past blocks and everything got her healthy and rebalanced rain, and then at the end of that second year, she made six figures and business and everything changed in her life. We quit smoking. So that first year she quit smoking, she quit addictions are brand was working again and her business started increasing. And the now yes, is created more success in her life. So you know we are physical mental emotional beatings and we gotta work on an altogether. And what I notices is when you're healthy get along, you still have to work on on the mental, the emotional pieces take. The success that you want in your life. Yes, and just bigger than mindset. It really is a lot of times, ancestoral patterns of fear or rejection or invalidation. Right now, because of covid niamh seeing so much anxiety. So much depression saw launch were in is still believe there is a brain heart gut relationship. Yes, and you got to work on all that at the same time. So you know what I change someone's brain and they are like. They're they're able to get sneak quicker. FAO. Goose haven't had emery. Can create more in their lives steak with their goals, do what they WANNA do. But it it. It's a whole. It's a whole picture. Yeah, absolutely I'm you know I've already had a full career? We were just talking about that before we came on and then it was supposed to be retiring. But here I am doing what I do now, and this is the first time in my well, not the first time. It's the first time. I have had a mindset college and and and I believe that it's more than mindset. It's her, it's her recognizing those stories that I've been telling. Because sometimes we don't recognize those stories and being able to walk out of that and develop that new story. So you know I highly believe in so many different modalities that we absolutely have to use them all, and we are never, we always need them. We we never get. You know until we're taking that last dying breath, we should be always looking to be. Encourage growth in ourselves and healing. Yes. Yes, and so you're you're you know you're that typical entrepreneur who's on that path of self growth? It has oftentimes ourself. Growth Mimics was happy in our business. Yes, and so is you're going to track those people to you like your audience I'm sure as year who also won. Right absolutely so We didn't get. We haven't even gotten through all of the brain yet, and we still got a lot to talk about my God through the ancestral, the the. The align, did we do the I the integrate and then into really is integrating that I just mentioned. It's like is the is integrating all of these chances to get. Right? Right. That's how I really love it by right and then the NS, the new is establishing the new, right? Yes. Much like you're doing with your mindset coach where you're you know creating a new story, right? Releasing the beliefs of the all tatters ruled stories. So that you can create yourself and you know I do some energy work in the field. In the energy field. It's really high high powered energy work. Shits the All program and upgrades you to Windows twelve. Approach? Right, your your brain and your energy feels like a computer is like a bio of user right were putting in a new program. Let's talk, about, energy. Do. You think there's been so much talk about mercury retrograde and all of this stuff that we're in and I do believe that everything is energy. How much does that affect our personal energy in our brains? Affects everyone differently. Okay. Now I think there are what I see is I see the I'm Pathak sensitive people. Are More affected my outside influences weather. person's comment rather astrological whether it's the fear on the plan. You know what ever whenever it is and so. People are different that way in terms of how much Lameta facs them. Right. I would definitely say now amy, we are all affected, right? We're all in this pandemic together. Right? -ffected on some level he and inside knowledge ing is it's almost like you've got acknowledged that I and just say it or no. Meal the to something about it. Much like an alcoholic has to say and an honor the fact they have that problem for. I, just think change. Right? Well, it right. You know acknowledgement a acceptance is the first. The first step to moving forward I, like what you said about that, and then I wanNa make sure that we talk about gems. I've I've had the the blessing of being experienced with that I? We're not GONNA have time to walk through one are. but I wanNA, make sure you talk about what it is and then I. Think you have it up on your website where people can go in and grab that Yeah Yeah I. Love The my. All my clients doing the mind jumps is twelve little exercises that balance the brain but they balanced the brain and the shield. So they're balancing your whole body mind sphere Incensio, you're doing right, and what they do is they keep you more focused because like what are your hand there? Just hand held positions. So for example, if I put my right hand on topper, my middle my hat and I hold it for twelve seconds. This one brings us to present time and we switch and we do the other hand brings you into present ties. So most of them. Them are done with switching your dying at one hand or or you're crossing your arms in front of you, and you're like your right hands on your left shoulder. You're left hands-on your right, shoulder balances, polarity whole that for twelve seconds, and then you switch. So many other arm will be on top. Right right. And so what you're doing is you're balancing right-left brain which you're also balancing what I call them rings around the brain. My teacher taught me that. If you think about the middle of your head as the nucleus of an atom. And if you picture an atom and you see the rings around it, yes. Yes. At rings around your brain like that. You're wobbly or Wigley or offer you're on. You'll feel off balance and you might not be a sharp or as focused. Right mind jumps helps you stay here. Right, and so they're just you know because they take five minutes to do. They. Don't take that long and I have kids doing this to. Teachers I work with when the kids do these of the teachers they use in their classroom. Their classrooms are different. The kids behave better. There's just you know a different energy. Yes. So I love the mind jumps and I encourage everyone. July's you'll sleep better. Oh, yeah, I'll. You'll be more focused I, do them morning and night, and so it's on the website. So yes, definitely get your copy of mind jumps and get started. Absolutely. Give twenty one days. It takes twenty one days to make. Tried for twenty one days, and then I'd love to hear what happens for you. Absolutely. Yes, please. Comment in. In the PODCAST. Let let us know in those reviews. We walk through this when we were doing the summit and I gotTa tell you after doing it. You just you just felt this like like relief walking through exercises. So huge benefit to our bodies energy field around a so and that website is. It's Louise's Swertz, Walter Dot. com I know that's a long name. It's I'll you I ac-? Swertz Walter. S. W., A. R., T. S. W. A. L. T. E. R. DOT COM. Nice Nice lots, and lots of resources there. Now, tell us about this lead with love. EVENT COMING UP? I saw excited Amy Watch. I, you know. I'm just feeling like right now, the time on, you know the time that we're in. There's been everything from fear to anger to. Chang Zygi to depression to uncertainty confusion. All of this, all these emotions are heightened. In Our world today and everyone's working hard to stay balanced within that time, and you know and I thought Gosh what. When we come from law, which is the highest vibration on the planet we can level up. and. I believe. We're all being called to do that because we're being called to dural personal work. Yes. When you do your personal work, it reaches out to everyone else, and so we're we're calling lead FROLOV elite with love level up. You know. So it's time to level up your life during these times whether it's rush and a depression. You know historically some of the biggest companies have informed entering those Yeah, and so for business owners and entrepreneurs, it's time to thrive to totally level up. At. I want to get people there. So that was you know that's the promise. So we're to be doing some amazing energy work on that and that program you're GONNA learn some tools to help you stay balance antle level, opt your life in your. Business. I great speakers, dodger ellsberg's KNUTH. She's a relationship coach, but more than that she is like so awesome at teaching meditation being heart centered. She'll be with US patio monceau talks about the body piece high in can listen to your body with the messages are in a bigger way than you probably have done before. Shoes. Amazing. I can't wait to have her come on and then clear canal talks about in similar to what you do with detoxing and she works would change makers for company. Vision nation were makers in helping detox. So they can stay balanced and do their working world. So I feel like it's can be super high powered, high vibe that, yes, we'll leave differently and I just can't wait to to do that I just wanted to tomorrow. Every Day Ryan. My Love. So how can people find out about this event and? Register, what do we need to do? Yes, they know. Again, my website will be swelter. Dot Com under events is going through the TAB events on the actually you are. L. Is Louise's words Walter Dot, com slash lead hyphen with hyphen love slash. So you can find it on the website or right there get signed up. You can bring a friend for. For. Twenty two dollars. We just WANNA. You know we just want you there. So you can experience and be the have our whole world coming from a place of leading with walk absolutely an and what a what a great message especially at this time for us to get back to that and an understanding on what love truly is he'll we love everybody. Whether at on, you know without judgment without. Pre You know making, you know our our prejudgments on them that we just love everybody in the joining that they're on this event is an online event from ten to five. Mountain Standard. Time. Yes. Yes. We're so excited. Oh my gosh, you're. So you're so beautiful. The biggest heart, you can just chow when you're interviewing people. The genuineness that you come from the work that you've done on yourself. I just have to compliment you so feel honored to be here with you. Thank you so much so? I I was GONNA. Ask any final thoughts that Golly I liked that one? Well, you know. I just feel energy you know and I'm I'm pretty vocal. So pitches kind of things just come out to be. Just come out of. A. Let him come out. I. Think you know and people need to understand This is one thing that I've worked on over the last ten years is number one, be willing to receive compliments You know, don't discount them in an NBA be willing to receive them. You deserve to have those compliments you on your cell phone number to be willing to give them. When you see something, you know be willing to speak up and say it to the other person. You never know how that's going to impact that other person when you when you say that. So we are wrapping up our time together and I do want to give you the final thoughts here with our audience so that you'd like to to wrap us up with, I. would appreciate that. Once, things I like to always just end with this to to listen to your heart. But take your brain with you. That's all for this episode of the Toxin Terminator. And we hope we've helped you remove the hidden toxins in your life, for renew health. If. You're looking to continue your journey towards full rejuvenation. Reach out to amy directly by visiting Amy Carlton, Dot Com or your own one on one chat session, as well as your free toxic risk assessment. That's a I M E DOT COM, and remember new are just one change away from renewed. How?

WanNa Amy fatigue Amy Carlson Ryan R Brian I Clara depression T. S. W. A. L. T. E. Dr Louis swelter Success Academy Dr Schwartz Wilder Dr Hamer Hauser Louise US
GSMC Health & Wellness Podcast Episode 204: So Many Holidays

GSMC Health and Wellness Podcast

32:03 min | 1 year ago

GSMC Health & Wellness Podcast Episode 204: So Many Holidays

"John Wireless companies but track full wireless gives you control get unlimited talk and text on America's best four G. Lt Network starting twenty dollars a month no contract unlimited carryover. Excuse me captain this is your wake-up call from the new trek film wireless what's that now what if you had to fly this plane while sitting back in the cabin I wouldn't have any control well that's what it's like going Oh I love though that candy whatever it might be in saying I'm just gonNA sneak in there and grab that the holidays are hello and welcome to the thing folks and it starts with Halloween and it doesn't stop until next year because once Halloween Halloween is over you know Christmas is already in the stores sometimes where I know local dentists will trade in well maybe not local dentist I think I've heard of programs with local dentists but I do have friends like you turn around and Thanksgiving is there and there are dinners and feasts and pies and all of those wonderful things get fifty percent off of just about any item again welcome to the Golden state media concepts health and wellness podcast I am your host Sarah and I am so happy asked about any item just go to Adam and Eve dot com and type in the Promo Code Health that's H. E. A. L. T. H. Health and sued the healthiest children. Are you one of those parents that's finds yourself digging through their Halloween bags going ooh almond joy ooh reese's peanut butter cups those are my favorite Ashton's we still love her we miss her so today I want to talk a little bit about the holidays and how lean is next week right Halloween is it's this weird mash up of Halloween and Christmas in aisles right next to each other looking like the holidays through up Thanksgiving you can usually can find some stuff for Thanksgiving coming trick or treaters will be arriving at your house if you are someone who chooses to turn your lights on and invite them to your door to give them candy or who will trade their get their kids to trade in their Halloween candy for some healthier maybe that is will buy their candy from them or they'll adult there's all you know it's fun to dress up and pretend to be someone else and go out to parties sometimes there are programs in place the come when you sit down with your beloved and you enjoy that meal and whether you are a traditional Turkey person or you prefer to have a nontraditional Thanksgiving tends to get forgotten in terms of the aisles at the store not in terms of food though right once Halloween is over then boom it's owner when they go out and go trick or treating but what about you once you buy the candy from your children do you throw it away do you. Even if you don't buy the candy from your have you joining me today we've been on a bit of a break from the podcast but it's wonderful to be back and to have you listening to us again so don't Thanksgiving feast it's still usually a feast and it's still usually way more food than you might eat over the course of a week right not just you probably were expecting to hear pauline wastes and pauline has moved onto other things and we miss her terribly we loved her we well we do love her so much okay and then you feel justified and rightly so in partaking of your Thanksgiving feast many of us are not quite that ambitious MHM set media concepts health and wellness podcast brought to you today by Adam and Eve dot com where for a limited time only you'll get fifty percent off of just over the course of a meal or the course of a week I the number of calories that are typically consumed in your average Thanksgiving meal is asked vehicle to get a special present that they've been wanting just so they don't have that much sugar right that's one of the options that you can do if you don't want your kid does eating all that shit maybe you like to use this as an opportunity to eat the candy right I mean Halloween is awesome if you're a kid and it can be awesome of Urine mm-hmm you WanNa be healthier yet you just don't know what to do all these shows telling you this and that but nothing seems to work we'll phenomenal it's crazy some people maybe you're one of those people that does like a Turkeytrot beforehand maybe you will get up and run five or ten a lot of calories so pretty much from now until January second we just kind of eat and eat and eat Nice Cup of Coffee Watch the parade yeah and then you snack while you cook and you snack the days leading up listen close golden state media concept's has got something grapefruit you the health and wellness podcast dedicated to work out trend with food I come from a family where my maternal grandmother tended to show her love through food when she died and it's lovely in some ways right to get together with family and friends and people you haven't seen for a while and we tend to celebrate to Thanksgiving while you're making the pies or whatever desserts that you like and then boom December hits and there are work party Oh to serve dessert with breakfast she would have and so when I think of food sometimes that is where my focus the eating habits die and everything about healthy living join us in our banters as we help you not just live life to the fullest but live it he loved us and she showed us that love by feeding us she came from a family that Very rarely if ever said I love you I think and that is going to involve food of some sort and then you only have a mere week between Christmas and new years when you get together with as if you are a church member there's often church things cookie exchanges etcetera their stuff there's cookie exchanges at work everything we might get up and watch the parade we not walk in the parade no we might get up and watch the parade on television where you know stay in our living rooms where it's warm hurt her say that to me once in my entire life instead she showed her love through food I think if she could have figured out how friends and family and whoever else to bring in a New Year by what usually eating drinking doing Ling's at involved that we were telling stories about her and reminiscing about her life and I was preparing for the funeral and talking to the pastor of her church and things and we're trying to come shifts to because you know people come over I want to feed them we're having a family dinner I went to feed them I want to make cinnamon rolls I want to make cookies Bush stories our favorite stories about grandma and as we were doing that we realized that they ninety percent of them involves food in some fashion she fed us thing you can do is to buy candy that you hate that is I know some people who do that and then they aren't tempted to eat it that is one thing but I want to make all of my favorite family foods that aren't necessarily good for you so since Halloween is next week let's talk a little bit about what are other options I think we're going to talk about some of those in just a few moments but we do have to take our first break of the podcast so stay tuned and blamed about having to mow the lawn again good news is it's easy to bundle home and auto through progressive and save on your car insurance which of course we'll go right in I need to get this candy out of here I need to not go crazy and eat it I need to get this candy out of here especially because Thanksgiving is coming and I don't need to be eating all these extra crazy we have leftover candy that's awesome I am going to be smart about it this year and then every year I have some variation of this conversation with myself we can maybe do to try not to make it so that we gained a hundred thousand pounds in the next just the next week alone how does that make sense people how is that logical my logic is not like your earth logic when it comes to the left over Halloween chocolate now one way you can win the statements have not been evaluated by the FDA this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease calories and somehow scum how this conversation always morphs into I'm just going to eat the candy to get it out of the House you still have candy right and you probably depending on your neighborhood and how many children you get the come to your door you probably have leftover Halloween candy be right back with the golden state media concepts health and wellness podcast. Let's say you just bought a house bad news is your one St Tweak so what do you do I would love to hear what you do and how you get through the holidays I would love to hear your tips and tricks not you can find us on social media I would love to hear from you there please check us out twitter and facebook are usually the easiest ways to interact and leave your comment so that you're apart of every group club activity that you're part of chances are good they are going to do some kind of Christmas activity during the month of December so if you have children who go trick or treating this is something that you're going to have to decide as a family of course you can do some of those things it's fast acting relief with active OTC ingredients plus the added benefits of THC free hemp oil get back to your life with CD medic available online at CBS were they trade in their candy for money or a special treat or whatever if you don't want them eating all of that sugar I know from my own up closer to becoming your parents you'll proudly mow the lawn and skiff anybody noticed you mow the lawn tell people to stay off the lawn compare it to your neighbor's lawn and have either bribed them for or you're just stealing when they aren't looking because hey we've all done that or the Leftover Halloween candy that you bought tip that I have a couple of my nieces I have five a couple of my nieces are just crazy on sugar they get they get the definition who pass out to the trick or treaters what do you do with it well don't be like me and get it out of your house by eating it that's snuggled for your teeth and about your own children and I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know about your your children and their sugar tolerance so that's something that you have to decide however if you decide from others that sometimes works what I have heard from others that they have done is donating it sometimes community centers churches etc will have a program the week after Halloween where they will take your leftover Halloween Candy for whatever reason they might have a lot of reasons windy day probably not bad one bag of Halloween candy a day not good so what do you do well you can throw it away that's it take donations of Leftover Halloween candy to stand to families who had service men and women who were deployed or not sometimes it's not the best option so always double check another good idea is college kids do college kids need that much sugar probably not a lot of things that they do with that Leftover Halloween candy so that's an option sometimes I was involved with a preschool awhile back and they would find us on social media we'd love to hear from you at any rate we were talking about Halloween Candy and what you do with the leftovers whether that's your children's candy that you tricks or treats but your tips and tricks on what you do to get through the holidays without gaining a million pounds how you are able to do things in moderation etc the Lawn Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers available in all stages situations it's cutting into your exercise time it's stabbing you in the back now option but a lot of people don't like to just throw food away because you know you put if it's leftover and you paid for it you don't WanNa waste it and some people just get a little bit you're going to replace that candy was something else say here's ten bucks Gimme your candy whatever it is whatever monetary amount that might be yeah always double check I as to what items you can send in those care packages because sometimes chocolate isn't the best option it doesn't ship well it can melt can you know family or friends who are in the military maybe you have neighbors who have a son or daughter in the military and they are looking for care packages it's just another option for what to do that Leftover Halloween candy so what else what else can you do to kind of ward off the Halloween is not good for your blood sugar and it's just not good for your overall health depending on how much you have left everything in moderation you know one small piece of Halloween even deployed sometimes but they would make care packages so that is another option if you don't have someone that you can donate it to maybe you know someone who is in the military maybe you have that you bought to give the trick or treaters this is where I get into trouble sometimes because I think okay I'm not gonna I'm not GonNa get oh very happy and getting a care package with Leftover Halloween candy would have made my entire day this time of year it's often midterms line and it's attacking your peace of mind it's pain and it's getting in between you and a life you want to live CD medic targets your pain at its source oh sending a care package would be delightful they can get a little sugar rush they can share it with their dorm mates or their roommates or wherever they're living and scene craziness that comes a lot of people if a lot of people it's getting colder so we tend to want to burrow in but they're still at the point where they have better metabolism's than the rest of us have and who doesn't like to get I loved care packages in college it made me so it's not hungry because they've eaten right so they are just sugar angry they get crazy they get wild there are not attractive on too much sugar so that's something that you know I heard about throwing that kind of stuff away don't blame you not here to judge about that sort of thing not here to judge it all really just here to kind of walk you through my experience and what I've heard with active service that's cool how'd you get my cockpit this is your wake-up call people the new track phone wireless now you're in control see terms and conditions attract phone DOT COM servewell's golden state media concepts health and wellness podcast we are talking about those holidays that are right around the corner specifically Halloween is next we didn't have central heat growing up we had a woodstove I would love to just cuddle up with the fire with a cup of hot chocolate and a book and I call it the hibernation season because the colder it gets an I grew up in Montana so it would get cold and I would just want to snuggle up in front of the fire I grew up with then there's the regular office walking and I try to have another fifteen hundred steps by lunchtime I only have a half an hour for lunch so that's not really at any rate I don't always make the best choices I don't always have the best habits so I am here to talk to you from a very a little bit more trouble so what can we do again I'm not here to judge I'm not here to tell you what's right for you you have to figure out the ways that you can want to go out as much as I do in the summer right and so we're less active this time of year I love to walk I love to walk normal human standpoint I guess so what do you do to get yourself motivated whether it's playing with your kids breath either avoid the sugar and the treats and the calories or encourage yourself to be more active I am saying all these things in the back of me to run errands that sounds funny walk to run errands I guess I would be walking errands in that case I love to walk and listen to audio books but when it gets colder I have ahead there's little voice going you're a hypocrite you're talking about health and wellness you do not like to exercise and it's true I have a love hate relationship with Jim left to go somewhere and eat instead I take another walk often I will call my hubby on my lunch hour just to chat and see how his day is going and so I have a train ride and then I walk and I try to get the earlier train for a variety of reasons one not late for work I know even if there's a delay like to walk and so I have the the pedometer on my watch that tells me my steps and I do try to hit the two thousand steps and that works with just the craziness of running around getting things together in the morning and then walking to my office from the train 'cause I commute I love the way it makes me feel once I get into the rhythm but my I like to joke that endorphin exercise exercise endorphins are a myth I walk and I try to get up to six thousand steps as I am walking over my lunch hour I'm going to finish this conversation in just a few minutes but we do have we have to find I the motivation and then the the time sometimes that's a problem for us is finding that time I as I said it probably not going to be late and too because it gives me time to travel an extra stop and get off and walk so that I have at least two thousand steps by the time I get to the office yeah I understand they take a while to build up but you know when you go to the gym when you first start getting back into shape you just feel tired yeah take our second break of the podcast you're dying to find out where I get the other four thousand steps but you're just gonNa have to be patient so stay tuned and we will be right back with the Golden State at ten thousand steps a day I do not always make it in fact lately more often than not I haven't been making it but that is a goal and I see concepts health and wellness podcast it's cutting into your exercise time it's stabbing you in the back nine and it's attacking your peace of mind I'd like to break that up into certain parts of the day when I'm really on my game I can have goals so before I get to work in the morning I like to have to the golden state media concepts podcast network guaranteed to build that podcast is whatever it may be visit walking your dogs going to the gym finding a new class doing yoga at home there's all kinds of things that you can do and so for me yeah searching the vast jungle of podcasts now listen close and here this out there's a podcast network that covers just about everything that about eight thousand spe- tween seven and eight thousand usually closer to eight thousand those last two thousand steps shouldn't be that difficult right I have the added benefits of THC free boil get back to your life with CBD medic available online at CBS these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA this product is not in in my day which definitely puts me over my goal but again you know I live in northern California sometimes it's one hundred and ten degrees sometimes it's raining it's pain and it's getting in between you in the life you want to live CBD medic target your pain at its source it's fast acting relief with active OTC ingredients plus normal routine of the day and I am only at sixty five hundred steps so that's my confession to you for today and it is you know getting to be later walk either part way home or all the way home from the train and that is almost four miles so on those days I can get upwards of sixteen thousand steps I just offer my example as one way of doing something that might you know if it helps you cool if it spurs spark some kind of ideas even better in all of this you'll see the details of your own story the story of Life well-crafted welcome to the House of rope so six thousand steps by post lunch and then of course during the afternoon I usually get another thousand fifteen hundred steps just walking around some maybe a little inspiration maybe some thought starters that can get you thinking in a different direction you thinking about things in Fr dogs to Chihuahuas that love to go for walks I should be able to take them out and get those extra two thousand steps doesn't always work when I'm having really good days it really depends on the season right now it's been pretty nice and I have been trying to walk a little bit but as I am talking to you I did not do into diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease the house of road journeys far and wide to bring you exceptional quality kitchen and bath fixtures a slightly different perspective and if I have done that then that is wonderful as I said I would love to hear from you I would love to hear what you do especially during the holidays since we are about to hit Halloween next week I would love to hear how you avoid those sugar Russian something that I have little mini goals that I can shoot for and worked them into my day that's great you of course will want to find whatever works best for you I love chocolate I would eat chocolate as my daily source of sustenance if it had all the vitamins and minerals and nutrients that I need during here's someone who has it all figured out I'm not necessarily that person maybe you tuned into this podcast and you're thinking Oh hey I appreciate that she can admit that she doesn't one temptation replacing another if if you have that in your in your life and giving up giving up a or in the day so I confess to you that I do not always hit my health goals I don't know if that helps you maybe you tune into this podcast you've been searching the golden state media concepts podcast network is here nothing less than podcast lists with endless hours chocolate it would probably be something else I have a friend who doesn't like chocolate but she has the same relationship with salt that I have with chocolate so you know it's usually just how you fit in more exercise if you don't avoid those sugar rushes what do you do and how do you encourage and motivate yourself always do everything right that she starts down Halloween candy and that she doesn't always reach her daily stuff goals I'm just here to provide some thoughts trying to eliminate a sugar addiction can be extremely difficult but it can be done or you can limit your intake some people are all or nothing they don't themselves to one piece of chocolate or no chocolate depending on or you know whatever their vice is everyone is different you have to figure out what kind of person you are no podcast no plan no eating no food prep plan node insteps but once I get home sometimes I'm exhausted I don't want to think about finishing those steps usually by the time I walked to the train and then get home I'm at in wellness podcast I was talking before the break about my daily step goals and how I try to get those in I'm a creature of habit and so when I can find the office doing things as I'm working cetera and this is then were I tend to falter because I don't have a specific goal I should have a specific goal hitting ten change and I know that's kind of a cliche but diets can be dangerous and diets can take us down paths that are not always happens to be don't let the magazines don't let society don't let everything else tell you what shape you have to be let your and if you're one of those people that doesn't like chocolate well then I hate you don't you please don't send me hate mail I'm just healthy

Golden state John Wireless companies America Adam G. Lt Network H. E. A. L. T. H. Health Sarah twitter facebook Ashton fifty percent hundred thousand pounds million pounds ninety percent twenty dollars ten degrees
[BYWG BEST OF] Eating Addiction & Eating Disorders: A Holistic Approach with Dana Leigh Lyons

Beyond Your Wildest Genes

42:33 min | Last month

[BYWG BEST OF] Eating Addiction & Eating Disorders: A Holistic Approach with Dana Leigh Lyons

"Martin three four. Six seven eight. Hello. Be White Wg tribe here's a quick less than one minute review of our supplement product and book of the month for September, at the end of the podcast, I will spend a few extra minutes going into finer details. So we encourage you to listen to the end. The supplement of the month for September is our potent probiotic formula called probiotic power blend the ten percent discount code for the month is gut health tenth. So that's lower case G. U. T. H. E. A. L. T. H. can it is case sensitive? Our Book of the month is the Buddha and the bad ass by vision lock ianni great one. And the product of the month is peak tease Pi Q. Et's with the first time ever five percent discount on their entire line of he's using the code capital B. Capital Y. Capital W. capital. All the links discount codes special for the program supplement in book will be listed in the show notes an apple podcast post on social media in our weekly newsletter and on our website at www dot beyond your wildest jeans dot Com at the listen now tab. Thanks for listening. Hello and welcome back to be on your wildest jeans podcast Dr No declare your co host today our guest. Dana. Time. I've been really intrigued Dana by Nukus and daughter was time to have you on again. So you mind if I do your bio dive right in. Sounds good. The doctor, Dana owner of alchemists sobriety is offering custom plant help women were newly sober or sober curious craft lives. They love it don't want escape or numb out. Through longest. Coaching Passion Dive, he crafts routines that are healthy, simple and just right for you. Her work has an Alchemy of Chinese medicine, mindful eating and minimalism a doctor Chinese Medicine Prime Coach and instructor. She owns sister possess alchemist academy offering online. Dr Dan is treated coach hundreds of patients that client shelter led more than one hundred group sessions ditching addiction clinic centers until addiction treatment training for healthcare students and professionals. Since two thousand, sixteen teaching courses that include advance, therapeutic, Chinese, herbal medicine, Chinese medicine, psychology, and holistic nutrition. She also played a primary role developing holistic chicken program curriculum. Who've Dan hold a masters degree from Georgetown University completed our five year Dr, Chinese Medicine Training at the Academy of Classical Oriental scientists in British Columbia. He is currently based in Victoria British Columbia where she teaches that. Rim College and works in both the with women all over the world. Thank you for that. No one. It's so good to be back on. It is probably a year or two, but you're you're in a rare aeros three time guests the couple of four time guests. But you're in rarified air. So that's pretty cool nice. So, for the audience, let me just think. It on twice. You WanNa Know Dana backstory amount she. Definitely recommend going back. To those podcasts at were sure. So Dan. Your new business I I WANNA say a new business, but it seems like a new focus. That's kind of complaint about having you back on. So what does alchemist writing means and how do you define sobriety and how do they go together? How did you reach this point? You know a little bit of switching focused on. Sure yes. So my business was previously called alchemist eating in. That's because I am a Paleo primal health coach and I work with a lot of people with eating patterns in eating disorders, eating addictions. But more and more felt called to shift into sobriety work partly because of my own path and I just felt like that too I really really been called to work with lately is women newly sober or like you said just sober curious. So. My mind. New Name as of a number of months ago is alchemists sobriety and The alchemy of that is really just about bringing together. Different elements are different components and the. The total of that is more than the sum of their parts. So that's the Alchemy, and then you know what I bring in what I bring together. His Relief Chinese Medicine soulful mindful living a minimalism fits in there too and just eating and living practices that support vitality and health. So bringing these different components together in, they're very much part of a holistic focused package. And then the sobriety is that's the new part So that's really about. Just getting clear and. It's it's often around something like alcohol. So I, work with a lot of people who are cutting back or not drinking, but really sobriety is much more expansive than that has to do with. Cutting back or cutting out anything we use to nome out or escape, and just really getting down to the the raw honest truth of things and even learning sit with and feel things again. So, that's really really the focus of my work these days. and. Where did this desire to bring? This sobriety or your former sobriety to the masses as your journey. Did you just decide to do out of the blue like how how did this come about? Well it's am with my with my brand in general I'd say it's evolved with me in. It's changed with me over time because the way I practice is very much an expression of my own path, my own life, and that's who I tend to have most residents with as well, and over the past year I got sober from alcohol and bringing that end felt like an important part of my work I don't like compartmentalizing things. So. When I when I came out sober. The universal response really from people around me the people closest to me was you don't have a problem with alcohol like what are you talking about? Like you're not even a drinker but for me, the question really became. Not whether it's a problem but whether my life is better without it and I love sharing that message with other people Another part is just drinking alcohol felt increasingly auto alignment with the rest of my practice in the rest of my life both in terms of health and spiritual practices, Yoga practice, and the work I was doing with clients. So I really wanted to weave that in and even make it a focus of the. Sobriety or anything harder or what have you found? That's better. Well. A whole lot is better. So maybe start will meal start with that I I have a history of certain things that have struggled with. Depression. Insomnia all of that is phenomenally better like it's really unbelievable. I have to say like this is the first time in in more years than I can even remember where I am not suffering from insomnia and I'm not even really suffering from anxiety indefinitely not suffering from depression. So just having those disappear feels wonderful and it's not that I'm not feeling hard feelings but I'm just able to. Work with them in a different way and really go straight into them and alcohol of courses, depressant and So it's GonNa make any depression worse and dot now out of the equation. Alcohol absolutely interferes with sleep, and now I've taken that away that part away in generally. Feeling better I'm happier and. More energy I feel like my memory is better more. Just more at home in my body, I will say that though I'm not drinking alcohol for me. Alcohol was never my drug of choice it was always thinks like UCD Anorexia and eating disorders and workaholic in perfectionism but taking the alcohol way allowed me more clarity to focus on their areas and allowed me to feel just more at home in my body So all of that is tons better and then there's just like the. More, the vanity aspect of of skin and Yeah. Just You know hoping hoping I'm slowing the aging process a bit I'm forty five and I definitely noticed a difference in my skin just the shape of my face and. You. Know little things like that to you. We aren't always so little. Did you say your forty fives. Yes. I'm forty five as well, and I could certainly say you do not look forty five that's for sure. That's always it always good to hear only. Hear it as well. You know full disclosure I I drink I don't drink a lot. But I can resonate with a lot of things you're saying like. If I have one one drink actually I don't drink an evenings anymore because I track everything through an ordering it. DESTROYS MY SLEEP So I drink drinking in the AD, afternoon. Because I know that doesn't work. In, the evenings so sleep thing is huge huge huge part of it. I say that was probably one of my biggest motivation for stopping drink. I mean sleep just affects everything else and I could have one glass wine and I would still be up at three. Am We're things -IETY and wide awake? So yeah, I mean just from a from a biological standpoint, it reduced one drink reduces I ram cycles from like seventy two so I hear you on that one. I fall in that category for sure. For. Sure. So How did you begin or? Maybe. Work with. Newly sober or just sober curious wha how do you recommend began or how do they start? Is it a cold Turkey kind of thing? Is it a slow progression individualistic? It really depends on the person and when I work with someone, I really need them where they are and. A key piece is definitely not taking something on as you've done something wrong or it's your fault like I am absolutely not here to to shame are to blame anyone if can be extremely painful to be stuck in addictive cycle or just a habit that's not serving you in you're just trying to get out of it. So you know taking any blame or shame as best you can in that. So not easy but but trying to get into that place offering yourself grace and space, and then really focusing in on not just what you WanNa cut out but what do you WanNa create and what do you want to pull in so? You'll making a wish list of what do you want more of in your life and what good staff is potentially going to come about an in terms of going cold Turkey or or doing more gradual way that really depends on the person. 'cause some people really do best with going cold Turkey assuming that they're not. Physically, dependent in a way that's going to cause problems. In case they WANNA, do it under medical supervision, but the vast majority of people could just quit. And for some people, that's a better. That's GonNa work better for others. Works with a more gradual approach. So maybe they just want to start cutting back or saving it for special occasions. You know it's definitely possible to practice sobriety. Maybe they WANNA take a month off or even a week I mean I recommend trying at least ten days because it takes ten days to get the alcohol out of your system if someone's up for a month that's fantastic. If someone's up for like ninety days, that's even better because certain. Benefits. You don't really see until until the heart perks are over I'd say and So if you're. If you can hang in there for ninety days it's going to be way easier way more exciting to stick with it. I have a question or you. What what is your thoughts? You me and we're. We're into biohacking and health and well variety different ways and we listen to podcasts all got. There, there is a movement to. Find other natural substances that. Can Somewhat Mimic what outlook average they'll do without the negative effects. what are your thoughts on things like that? And in could you give me an example? Give you a few. One Company and I haven't tried these yet call Kim you corks care I n. Like a mix of different adapted. To kind of relax you and take you down a little bit into a more like. Actual Gonda and Rodeo and things of that nature and that, and that piques my interest but I haven't tried those yet but but what I have been tinkering around with. Really good results I. And I like it. As an anti anxiety. Like truecar Kabul plex, maybe mix with a little CBD oil or hemp oil maybe mixed with the little magnesium. Then it just. To say this but take the edge off, take it down. Without any without any of the negative fix at all alcohol no problems no sex deviant backs increases your deep sleeper increasing your rump sleep. Yeah. I am absolutely a fan of that sort of thing I love the Kava by bystander process meteor the one you just mentioned I think and. Love that I. Love. Adapted degen's I haven't tried can work but I know of it and I have looked online at their ingredient labels on a fantastic and There's another. There's so much out there now because a lot of people are actually wanting to just feel good and and support their longevity in their vitality. So there's so much fun stuff out there Personally take mock powder regularly, take Chinese birds regularly. So all of that stuff you know as long as you're choosing things that are good fit for you and your pattern and not just randomly throwing a whole much like all the stuff in the world on top of your system. But if you're choosing in selecting carefully, you're getting guidance from a practitioner than. That's excellent. Cool now, like you said, you're also Chinese medicine doctor your also minimalist which I definitely am not. How does that fit into this whole package sobriety and what teach? Yeah. Well, I am a minimalist but I have to say like you I'm totally into biohacking. So I keep buying these toys and I have this this like sauna blanket now and I don't like. Digital light blocking glasses. So it's it's hard but. But. Yeah. I mean overall I I keep my belongings very few very simple and for me minimalism I take really expansive approach end in the sense I'm not just talking about stuff but just life like who what accounts do I follow on social media what messaging do I surround myself with in terms of sobriety minimalism both involve getting really simple end just bringing in what you love and what truly matters in getting back to that so I say that's what that's where they overlap and even support one another. And Chinese medicine. Yeah. Well, my so my approach with working with people who are super curious or newly sober or just wanting to get sober or anything else. Really it's it's Chinese most in based in Chinese medicine is a holistic medicine. So really looking at body mind spirit and rather than just preaching in an abstinence based approach of just take the thing away I really help people look at the root of what's Going on, and this could be because they're trying to get off of alcohol or drugs, or sugar, or shopping addiction or codependency or whatever but really looking at the root of the pattern and also addressing everything that we can do in the body, the mind and potentially the spirit if they're open to that to to addressing what's going on in their life and I'm so important because otherwise. You're just as humans. If we take one thing away, we might reach for the next thing. So otherwise you know that's Is just so important to look at what's really going on here and how can we support your whole system, your whole ecology both inside and in terms of your surroundings and that completely lines up with Chinese medicine. So let me let me give you this question. You're you're working with somebody. And they ask you this else what about all the benefits? Of Drinking we know that people in the blue zones that drink tend to live longer. And the glass of wine a day seems to. Increase Longevity. With, various slow. So. What what do you say when somebody asks you. Found is you with like? and you know people are definitely going to bring those studies because we tend to gravitate toward studies and research results and findings that support our our beliefs and with with any belief, you can pretty much find studies in research the backs it up i. mean that's the whole nature of research and scientific studies unfortunately one thing I'll say is always look at first of all what are the other factors in variables involved in studies second I will point people to the experts so one resource. So they usually give people I tell them to check out if they're really serious about investigating the health benefits help verses the health. Detriments of drinking is to check out anti graces work. She has a book this naked mind in it's it's fantastic. It's so. Clear digestible. But she really synthesizes a lot of the scientific research out there and very clear language explains what alcohol does to our body and brain She also explains why. So many studies show that improved proved that alcohol is a toxin causes cancer causes liver damage it causes heart damage it causes brain shrinking. All these things end. But those aren't the ones that get picked up by the media. So you know which ones are the media is the media latching onto and she talks about that as well. In The other thing I'll say is thought. To make waste employer, I totally support people checkout Annie's Grace Anti Grace's work. It's really fantastic but to make it even simpler. Yourself does alcohol ever actually make me feel better not in the moment necessarily. But later that night when a falling asleep or the next day I mean I've never once in my life regretted not drinking. And so our body, our mind really is a good eter if we're honest. As a chiropractor always more focused on things that are neuro toxic and No really getting around that alcohol is a neuro toxin whether you decide to drink or not whether it's social or just once in a balloon or. A. Casual drinker, the friend it's a neuro toxin any any which way you look At it. And that, and that's really the key thing is for me. It's it's totally not a moral or ethical issue unless you're hurting other people which which does often happen with alcohol but but that aside it's just getting clear if you're ingesting toxin washer ingesting in getting clear on it so that you can decide yourself with the trade off. It's worth the trade offs. Totally totally. And will do to add with that if I'm because so many people are struggling with depression anxiety and mental health issues. Alcohol makes them worse one hundred percent. So if that is anyone listening like that is really the thing like if if if they're suffering from anxiety depression just all manner mental health issues alcohol really. Pour. Gasoline on. I Agree I. Agree. Yeah. It was. It's. It's a depressing to one hundred percent like there's a couple of things you could say for certain. Toxic it's depressant. There's no doubt about that. So. Somebody listening they WANNA Kinda, give it a go themselves or just Kinda feel it out to what you said before try try to pretend as a minimal three months. Kind of firm today. Yeah I mean I recommend getting clear on on their intention So getting clear. Okay. Picking the amount of time and sticking with it like making a commitment doing it with lots of mindfulness intention also getting clear on again. What are they pulling towards? Do they want to make a wish list like do they want to feel healthier? Do they want have more energy than WANNA sleep better? The maybe they WANNA lose weight maybe they want to save money 'cause all these things could potentially come in and make a list as as a form of motivation And it could be anything from deepening their yoga practice to they just want to not each their skin is fast. You know it can be anything. and. then. Envisioning themselves okay. How do I feel? Ten days after not drinking or how I feel a month after not drinking get in in their mind and then also doing things in this is a key part because I never want something to be just about deprivation that just tends to lead to a Yoyo fact and. Balancing back and forth and maybe even bingeing more after they after they get off their experiments so. Whatever they can do to create a daily life home life, a work life that feels good and that they don't want escape is much and they don't want to numb out and there are so many ways to do that. I work with people. We really do look at all the different components said speak to them, but that's so important. And then the other part is. Really, choosing their advertising what messages surrounding them I really edit rigorously in my own life and also recruiting support and accountability. So. Who are they choosing to spend time with or who were they reading or following on social media? All of that's important in it can make getting sober find exciting or it can make it really hard and miserable depending on which which advertising which messaging you surround yourself with. I would imagine in many cases you'd have to. Leave people, things places behind if you really if you really serious about becoming sober. Yeah I mean it's it doesn't have to be that. You suddenly go out and get a whole new group of friends. That's for sure. Because believe it or not many people. Be Like okay, like you can these days a lot of people are getting healthier. They're going on a whole thirty or they're doing a detox. So even just saying something like that can take some of the pressure off but sometimes, relationships will have to be put on hold for a little while or they're gonNA? Change I oftentimes I would say relationships change a bit it doesn't have to be bad. It might be a little bit awkward at first but that totally gets easier and better with practice there is a. We have first sobriety. So maybe it's your first date in Britain sobriety or your first friends date or your first dinner out, and all of those are GonNa feel unusual and awkward perhaps. But overtime, they totally get easier and one of the best parts about stopping drinking is new really regain your capacity to find joy in things that are not drinking that we tend to lose sight of if if Virgin King regularly. But, but you will get you probably will get pushback from some people. So I don't want to minimize that either and That's why it's so important to surround yourself with with other messaging so that you're not feeling totally alone or isolated. Now you weren't one on one with people. You also want on your website you have a lot of programs. Ourselves kits one. Are you explain a couple of different? Options you have on our website and how you work with people. Sure Yeah I have I have a one on one coaching package. So out to ninety day package and some people just sign up over and over again to work with me one on one. So I do have that Elsie that I am limiting that work I do have a few spots open but I my schedule is just fall. So if people are interested in that better, contact me sooner rather than later we did this time So to ninety coaching package all remote and then I, have a two session deep dive. Also remote I work with people all over the world and the way though my website and my branding is all about women I will say that I do work with some men. So you're not or are people who maybe don't identify as as man or woman I'm very inclusive anybody's welcome and so just for people to know that. And I also offer a totally online downloadable self guided Sobriety Kit in Recovery Journal and that is something that I I made so that so that people can have support even if they can't afford to do one on one work, it's it's it's not a replacement for one on one work by any stretch, but it's something that will. Give you support at home you can do it yourself. It's very comprehensive. Made it to be hopefully fun uninspiring it. You don't even have to be over over curious. The idea is to really craft a life that you want and in all areas it's very holistic. So eating body image your routines in lifestyle even finances in your relationship with money, which is huge for a lot of people have relationships and had a navigate those. How'd you design your home in workspace in a way that supportive even through in a section on personal style because my my thing is I want people to get excited about their lives again so that they don't feel like they have to to numb out. And you have. other courses do right on site tons. Around there today. Yeah. Yeah. So at Alchemist Academy Dot Club I have number of things I have a sobriety in recovery section in. That's where people can find the sobriety kit as well as in eating recovery. A body is ally basically an eating disorder kit. And then I have a lot of Chinese medicine courses. So I'm an instructor of Chinese Medicine at the college here locally and I just started creating online courses that are available to anyone So those are apt and I'm super excited about that part kind of a whole other part of my brand, my business alchemist academy, but those are open to anyone. So anyone interested or curious about Chinese medicine can totally take those as well. Or you practicing acupuncture any longer or not really. I'm not practicing here in Canada because my licenses for that are all in the states. So I and I guess I should say as well that if people want herbs, I'm prescribing herbs for people who live in the states I have them dropped shipped to people there but. Otherwise the work is is very much coaching talk based and and that sort of thing. What are the different websites alcohol sobriety dot. com. And End ALCHEMISTS SOBRIETY DOT COM is probably the best place to go. Because from there you can then link through to alchemist academy and you can find in the top upper bar. You can find a link to the sobriety kit and alchemist academy as well. I've also also have a free newsletter in free e books there I tried to put out a blog post at least once a week and a I, it's a new project. I have a little and creating like a minimalist biohacking shop that it's kind of an a Beta phase, but that's up on alchemists sobriety as well. I always liked sniffs around the screen what's Your What's your? What's your up to and what your favorite things always is I got two final questions one. I don't have space for Sauna I've been thinking about getting one of those dishonor blankets that you use how do you like it? I love it. I actually. was just in it before right before this call. I get in every day in the morning or the evening and I listen to podcasts where meditate or breathe and it's not the same going to like a hot yoga class but it really does get a nice sweat and Yeah I'm just such a fan of having big sweat every day it really helps my mind as much as my body so huge fan of those. Hard to clean or to me. I haven't had any problems with it. I just spray it down afterwards and leave it open for a little while to kind of let it air out. The biggest problem for me is that my cats are obsessed with it and want to get on top of it when it's open and like It's you have to guard against the cat scratching it and such, but but otherwise, it's pretty easy. Definitely going to get one and essentially talk a little bit about your routine with the with the deep sweat every day what what's your routine from waking the sleeping or a general routine that you do? A well I. Since I work remotely and I am an introvert, my routine hasn't changed that much with quarantine The one exception is I now teach by zoom instead of going into the college. But on weaking I've totally done away with an alarm clock these days. So I wake naturally and then usually pretty early because of my cats even if I wasn't GonNa wake early and then I do the five Tibetans I. Will I should say I a freezing cold shower. Then that's very quick and then I do too batons. The five Tibetans breath yoga practice than I. Drink a bullet proof drink I'm on coffee these days but I'm. Feeling it to get off at again you kind of go in and out with said and. Hop on the computer start working and after a little while then. Often do a thirty minute sauna, and after that do a yoga practice and have lunch. Just usually always my first meal of the day. And then I then I usually jump back into work for while so teaching or my own business and Do that all afternoon. I might take a walk. There is a beautiful water down the streets so I might walk down there. afternoon before dinner I practice. Yoga And eat dinner after dinner I do a meditation, not a long one but probably about fifteen minutes or so and then I read for a while before bed. That's pretty much. That's pretty much what I do like every single day. Before to have rhythm and I, love that. Question Yeah. Yeah, I will see now things are opening back up a bit here so I've been experimenting with. I mean going to classes and I normally would go to hot yoga classes but also have just been I just practice. You'll get home anyway. So I've been experimenting with different classes including boxing in bar and I am sure in every inch of my body so that that's kind of shifting a routine a little bit but but it's kind of fun to play. During Quarantine. I've I've. Taken more pilates classes and I've ever taken. Was I send my body's. Core is very different than it was three months ago you're nice and. I was just GONNA say yeah. Really husband and opportunity for a lot of people to to try out different things. In that regard. And I started I agree with you and I started working with gas Q. Practitioner as well. Nice so try different things as well. I. Think that's a good. Good idea. Yeah resort. So any last words data? I don't think so I am Yeah. I am so happy to be back on the no US thanks again and I really appreciate it. All that kind of stuff that we talk about today we'll be. Jones when it's released Dana thanks again so much for being on I love talking to your voice itself incredibly soothing holy Moly. Thank you. Well. Have a great day. Enjoy the cats in the sauna and I'll want to get mine. Towns. Good. Thank you. Her My name is Dr McCoy or coast near listening to the beyond your wildest gene podcast. Have you heard today please share your friends and family. Thank you. As my oldest son hated says be awesome and never an awesome. 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Dana Dr Dan Depression Alchemy of Chinese medicine Turkey Victoria British Columbia Insomnia Dr Ben Martin G. U. T. H. E. A. L. T. H. Rim College Chinese Medicine Training apple Georgetown University Dr Laura Foster DOT COM instructor
#A304 (atomic force microscope to atom smasher)

The Dictionary

10:04 min | 11 months ago

#A304 (atomic force microscope to atom smasher)

"Hello words welcome to me talking to you in this podcast called the dictionary. Thank you for joining me. I say thank you a lot but I really really do mean it Because because I know this is weird and I know I'm weird I know I talk a lot So I appreciate you listening to me I know that there's got to be at least a few people out there who appreciate What I say and My sense of humor my weird weird sense of humor with almost eight billion people in the world. There's got to be at least a few of you who are similar to me So I'm just going to keep on doing this the way it comes out I I sometimes feel bad that I talked too much. But but you know it's just it's just what spews out of my face hole So we are going to talk. I today about atomic force. Microscope That is three separate words. If it were one word we would be It would be like German. Ju I guarantee you something like this in German would be all one one word. Okay this is a noun from nineteen eighty-six an instrument used for mapping the atomic scale topography of of a surface by means of the repulsive electronic forces between the surface and the tip of a microscope. Probe moving about the surface and the abbreviation for this is a F M. This is fascinating to me. I I guess I never really thought that something like this would exist but You know if I had I would have thought of course. Of course they can do this right So basically okay think about a penny. A penny is very small. Areva dime the distance from the the lower part of the of the was it. Roosevelt Roosevelt's face on a dime will use a penny. It's an easier example. Lincoln's head So the distance between the flat part of the penny to the the peak of Lincoln's I don't know what the peak part would be his nose or His cheekbone or something. It's I'm sure maybe a millimeter at most And so this that might even be too big of an example for this atomic force microscope. interscope I don't know But it it it can map the distance to what an atomic scale between the heights of the IT. I'm babbling but I think that that is fascinating. I WANNA look into that because I want to see. Some pictures of topography is that they have mapped over on the atomic scale. Next is atomic mass. This is a noun from eighteen. Seventy four the mass of an atom usually expressed in atomic mass units. It's also the synonym atomic weight next. We have atomic mass unit noun from Circa Nineteen forty two a unit unitive mass for expressing masses of atoms molecules or nuclear particles equal to one twelfth the mass of a single atom of of the most abundant carbon isotope Which is twelve C so the twelve is comes before the see it is super script script which means it is above the letter and small? I don't know what that means. Twelve see anyway it is called also Daulton D. A. L. T. O. N.. Sounds like somebody's name. I don't totally understand what I just read but I read it and we are going to move onto atomic number. This is a noun from eighteen eighteen. Twenty one and experimentally determined. Is that the word experiment. Yep and experimentally determined number characteristic of a chemical element that represents the number of protons in the nucleus which is a neutral atom equals which in a neutral atom equals the number of electrons runs outside the nucleus and that determines the place of the element in the periodic table. and Go ahead and go see the element table I think this is similar to atomic mass. Although it didn't really say that so they're probably different but Yeah you understood what I just read. Don't don't Ya all right next. We have atomic reactor or atomic pile. P. I l. e. So I guess they're similar This is a noun from nineteen forty-five and as a synonym. We have the three B. Definition for the word reactor next is atomic theory. Two words this is a noun from eighteen fourteen. I have a feeling this is going to be a fun. It's also on the longer side. But there's only two definitions. I gotta take take a big breath number one. A theory of the nature of matter all materials substances are composed of minute particles or atoms of a comparatively small number of kinds and all the atoms of the same kind are uniform in size weight and other properties number to any of several theories. He's in. I'm going to start that one over. Any of several theories of the structure of the atom especially one based on experimentation and theoretical considerations holding that the atom is composed essentially of a small positively charged comparatively heavy nucleus surrounded by a comparatively large arrangement of electrons Hum sorry if that was distracting. But I wanted to see if I could get it in one breath Yeah theory of nature of matter. Better all materials Yup that makes our next. We have atomic weight. This is a noun from eighteen. Twenty the mass of one atom of an element specifically typically the average mass of an atom of an element as it occurs in nature vet is expressed in atomic mass units. Again go ahead and see the table next. We have Adami's or atomised her spelled with a sorry spelled with Ns instead of as e this this is the British variation of atomised atomised with a Z.. Instead of an s it's been a long while I think since we've seen a British variation like that. They used to come up all the time. What happened to them a right next? We have atom atom with an I. S. M. At the end this is a noun from sixteen eighteen seventy eight one a doctrine that the physical or physical and mental universe why twice a doctrine that the physical or physical and Mental Universe is composed of simple indivisible minute particles number two. We have the number one definition for the word individualism. Individualism and missed is a noun I think science has basically proven that this is right right right. I don't know it seems weird to say a doctrine that just it's science. I duNNo. Okay we are going to move onto Atta mystic. This is an adjective from eighteen. o nine one of or relating to Adams or atom number two composed of many simple elements also characterized by or resulting from division into unconnected or antagonistic fragments. As in an optimistic society and atom. mystically is an adverb. Next we have atomised. This is a verb from eighteen. Forty five it is transitive by by the way number one to treat as made up of many discrete units number two to reduce two minute particles or to a fine spray. Number three we have the synonyms divide. And fragment as in an atomised society also so to deprive of meaningful ties to others as in atomised individuals. I don't like it when individuals are atomised. A they are turned into a fine spray but also when they're not and it's the group is turned into a fine spray. The group of people. I should say Then we're all separated. It's like well the you know the Internet and social media is kind of atomization US and That might not always be a good thing. We feel more connected to other people in the world but we're not really more connected but we kind of are but we aren't. I don't know I go back and forth number four to subject to attack attack by nuclear weapons. atomization is a noun next we have Atta miser and trying to figure out. ooh Yeah Okay next. This says atomised. It is a noun from eighteen. Sixty five an instrument for optimizing usually a perfume disinfectant or Meta comment. Don't M. E. D. Icy A. M. E. N. T.. I don't know where that is probably used for. Medical things are we are going to do one more for this episode. It is the word. Two words actually atom smasher This is a noun from nineteen thirty seven and we just have the de- D. definition not one D or Two d but just D- For the word accelerator. The I think the he had drawn collider. Would that be considered an atom smasher. Pretty sure it is so go. Look that up go look up with that is if you want to know So we had a lot of this was all atom words Dob. I don't know what is happening All right we are going to pick atomic theory as the word of the episode. Because I don't know I wasn't terribly really paying attention. When I read those two definitions those two long definitions But it seemed kind of interesting so that is the word of the episode. Thank you very much for listening Until next time this is spencer reading the dictionary goodbye.

Lincoln Areva Roosevelt Roosevelt Atta mystic Daulton D. A. L. T. O. N spencer M. E. D. Icy A. M. E. N. T Adami Adams S. M. Ns two minute
The Poet Laureate Of Running: Rickey Gates On Endurance & Empathy

The Rich Roll Podcast

2:01:47 hr | 9 months ago

The Poet Laureate Of Running: Rickey Gates On Endurance & Empathy

"The I think the Appalachian trail is awesome. Like there's no doubt about it but like you're GONNA learn a lot about yourself and you're GONNA learn a lot about trail culture but how. How much are you really going to learn about the United States in this context? It's it's a form of escapism. And that sometimes exactly what we need is to escape. What's going on outside of our front door but for me personally like I needed to explore a lot deeper than just myself and just last physical capabilities of something like that? So I mean I don't know what the benefit is But I know that there is a benefit to stepping outside of our comfort zones uh-huh and looking people in the eye and and I think it works both directions. I think that it makes those people feel more human. You know when you're sleeping on the street in the middle of downtown La you can feel less and less like a human and it makes you and me feel more human as well and tap into this empathy. That I think can go a really long way in our in this time in our society and Something that perhaps we're losing a little bit in a good way to to kind of gain it back a little. That's ricky gates this week on the ritual. podcast the glitch role. PODCAST greetings bipedal humanoids. My name is rich roll. This is my podcast. Welcome welcome back. Quick up top housekeeping just a few days as remain until January thirty first to take advantage of our special discount on the plan power meal planner twenty dollars off the annual one hundred dollar fee when you visit meals dot ritual dot com mm-hmm and enter Promo Code Power Twenty at checkout. So if you've been waiting out this whole month this is your final moment. My guest today is just a i. Uniquely extraordinary human being his name is ricky gates and although you may have heard of him or know of him as an ultra runner honor I would characterize him as much more of an artist a conceptual artists that fuses endurance Durance running and adventure with film photography and the written word to express a very distinct point of view. View that I would describe as humanist. After nearly a decade competing on the national and International Mountain trail and ultra running circuits Ricki took his love for ultra endurance for storytelling and for Photography and essentially fused them together to create an ongoing series series of Project Base essentially performance art runs that have included a run across America and the accompanying feature film called Trans Americana WanNa chronicles it and the project. He is perhaps best known for Ricky ran every single street in San Francisco Thirteen hundred mile undertaking that involve running thirty miles every day for forty six days along the way logging. One hundred fifty thousand feet of elevation gain and meeting countless fascinating people along along the way That is all depicted in short documentary produced by Solomon called every single street. And I'll link that up in the show notes as well. In addition ricky host host adventure running retreats called run bus run and hut run hut which he will explain today and has authored a new book about his transcontinental run on entitled Cross country which comes out April fourteenth. I really love this guy. I got a whole lot more. I WanNa tell you about ricky before we get into it but first today's Today's episode is brought to you by health. IQ Do you eat a plant based Diet. Do you make time to exercise four or five times a week. That means you're putting in the effort to live a long life. 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I don't know what it is specifically but there's something about the weight on top of you and tucked around you when you're in bed. SORTA like being hugged. That just soothes my system. It decreases my production of stress. Hormones it deepens my sleep at allows me to awake in the morning restored art and I just love it and basically what I'm saying is there is no more perfect product for me to endorse than the gravity blanket. Its impact on my life has been immeasurable. Israel the only blanket proven to improve sleep quality. Gravity blankets come in fifteen twenty and twenty five pound varieties and they have a whole lineup of sleep. Products like waited did I'm asks and travel blankets all designed to give you a perfect night's rest and they're affordable with their new lower price of one hundred and eighty nine dollars. The listeners can get an extra twenty percents off. Here's how learn more at gravity blankets dot com and use the Promo Code Rich Role To get twenty twenty percents off your purchase today. Gravity blankets dot com use code ritual to get twenty percents off the blanket that everyone is talking about all right Ricky gates so as you will soon find out ricky. His just. He's just a beautiful thoughtful creative loving and very present present human with a deep appreciation for people a profound curiosity about the world and Anna Poetic Instinct for for sharing his is unique perspective and today we cover it all from his run every street in San Francisco project to his run across America and all the stories and Lessons that came out of those experiences. We talk about what fuels his passions his devotion to a minimalist lifestyle. What what it was like living in and Artika why he does what he does and and how he uses his talents to share a perspective and a vision for a better more unified for super? Nice to meet you. Thank you for doing this. Thanks for having the news is a pleasure. Yeah you're you're super inspiring everything that you do. is really incredible and It's a privilege and an honor to be able to talk to you about it and have you share a little bit about your journey in your experience and I think when I think about you obviously I think about this incredibly talented ultra runner but really what you're about is so much more than that and I think right now. We can both agree that the country is very divided There is a communication gap. There is this division that is separating us in our ability to communicate has broken down are fractured and the path forward. The healthy not path forward is to try to find a way to bridge that gap to try to improve the health of our communication right to to unite around our shared value systems and beliefs. And and you've really leveraged You're running to try to promote this message. And I think it's beautiful the adage adage of you know the world unless you know your your backyard. I don't know who originally said that WHO who is to. Whom is that quote attributable I? It wasn't me. Yeah Somebody said that you actually not only took it to heart but put it into practice and you're really more of an artist than an athlete in my mind like you have used this medium of running great distances to paint this canvas of humanity entity in a really beautiful way. So thank you for that thank you I appreciate that. Yeah and I knew about you for a long time and then really dived into what. Oh you were doing when you were when you were doing the San Francisco every single street thing and I knew that you would run across America. But I didn't know would that much about that until I started. prepping for talking to you today and you set a cut of the TRANSAMERICA film which is really really quite moving. So how did that come together. The film or the The trip itself. Let's talk let's talk about the trip and then we can kind of we've in the film so the trip itself Two years ago I ran across the country. I left on March first of twenty seventeen and finished on August first list of twenty seventeen so a five month trip The idea behind it is that I've you know. I've competed on a national and international level. I've traveled all over the world Pursuing this this sport this running mountain running trail running ultra running thing and I was just kind of getting to a point in my career where I needed to I needed to explore. What else The sport really meant to me and what its potentials were. And that's kind of when I came to this realization that I knew so many more parts of the world than I. We do our own country and such a huge part of that and realizing you know as you said we have this breakdown in communication and you know with this increase in in the the bubble effect. You know it's becoming easier and easier to live within our own bubbles It just occurred to me that Such a huge problem of ours right now is that we're not talking to each other and what better way to do that. Especially for someone in my position Who can put in a Lotta Miles? They don't have the commitment of a family. I've I you know. I don't have the commitment of a nine to five job. A standard job per se What better way to really explore this this than to To do something that I've always wanted to do which is to do a really big track and How how many years in the making with business? I think that I could say that it was almost ten years fifteen years making but you know I when I was nineteen years old. I stopped going to college for a couple of years. I one of my goals during those two years off was to The bike across the country in so I saved up my money. I took the Greyhound bus up to Washington. I had this idea that was going to bike around the entire United States the circumference prince of the United States. I made it three days in thought that I had completely destroyed my knee. And you know this is with a serious road Bike with big gears and sixty or seventy pounds of gear with me and I completely destroyed myself almost immediately so I packed up my bike. GEICO sent it to Colorado in the night took my money in my timing went to Italy instead so that was nine hundred eighteen years ago. It's funny like at the peak. Give your sort of physical powers young strapping young man on a bike. And you're you make it three days totally I mean it's the classic You know you're just not mature enough to pursue something like that and I just went way overboard so it's been in my. I had since I was nineteen. I read a book when or if not earlier I read a book Walk Across America. Peter Jenkins totally when I was seventeen or eighteen or so a- uh-huh and that really stuck in my head just this man's ability to connect with people For no other reason than he's out there on foot putting himself in a position yeah he really kind of put that type of expedition on the map his son jutted is a is a good friend. Who's been on the PODCAST? A couple of cool. Yeah Yeah. He's an amazing writer. Read his his book. It's quite something. Yeah and I haven't read that I'll check it out so I'd been thinking about it for a while and then very like the the real planning I thought about I would say for a year to two years ahead of time. Like if I'm GonNa do this like how how am I going to make it work for me. how would I want Like it's not something that I anticipate doing twice. If you're just going to do this once how are you going to make it worthwhile and and for me that meant Really diving into what America Is in what I am personally and planning that beforehand. And so that means you know looking at all the all of the history of of the United States how we came to be who we are The this this westward expansion. This idea of manifest destiny any of you know I call it the good the bad and the ugly this this idea that You know we Created this country But we also we did a lot of bad in the process. And so you know how can I pursue a M- a a massive feet like this and touch upon all of those things at the same time. How much did Political News and the two thousand in two thousand sixteen election play into the urgency to finally do this thing so I had the date set in my head Before the elections I don't I don't know why picked March I needed to Around number so I went with with that I knew that I was going to hit weather at some point During during my trip whether that be snow rain or extreme heat So I had the date planned before the election and like many of us I think on both the right and the left I thought the election was going to go a different way. And then come November eighth November nine th of of Twenty Sixteen When it did go the way that it did I knew that it was going to be way more interesting. The nine had anticipated. Did that influence the route. Because you you make this decision to to spend a lot of time in the south and you go through you know mostly Red Red states over the course of the whole journey well. It didn't influence the route so much But I dare you to try and find a route across the states where you're not going through a lot of red territory Um and that's the nature of the country and that's what I think a lot of us have learned over the past few years Especially when we're starting to look at the electoral college and all of these things you know the The center part of the country's huge you. You know it's it's You know there's a lot of space in between towns but there's there's a lot of space in general which accounts for large population right So so it didn't influence my route all that much but I did know After the elections that it was going to be really interesting I was going to be you know I wanted to go through the south Because I've spent very little time in the south I was raised by parents. Who didn't necessarily have a prejudice against the south but there is not a lot of urgency to bring us there My mom was a hippie in the nineteen sixties hippie today in twenty nineteen And and I think in the nineteen sixty had this This common dialogue going on that. That warned People from going to the South You've got easy rider where you've got your protagonists Yeah and meeting their end there in. That's just one of A few different stories right so you just got married right just got married soon. He thinks that's very cool. You've been with Liz for seven or eight years or something like that almost a decade but at the inception of of this run my sense is and you allude to this. It's sort of you come on it but you don't spend too much time talking about the fact that you're kind of going through a bit of an existential crisis he says perhaps about your relationship perhaps about things greater that motivated you to kind of take a break from your relationship and and carve out this time for for yourself so what was going on with you kind of mentally and emotionally going into the run. It's something like to this day that I don't know that I can answer entirely eh Other than it just seemed like a trip to me. It seemed like a part of my life and a trip to me where I needed to be on my own and I don't know really a better way to say that other than that. I just couldn't fathom Really thinking about anyone other than myself during this time. Yeah in retrospect I. I thought a lot about other people in especially Liz In so it's yeah it's it's live and learn thing. I'm glad that it has turned out the way that it has and and that I think that we both Learned a lot from from that break that we took and And Yeah it's it's It was it was definitely a challenge. It was a challenge then and even looking back on it. It's it continues to be a challenge when you know when you Put a little fracture in relationship. Like that You know as as well as as you can repair it. It's it's still there. Yeah so it's it's something to For me for us to always think about an for me to be able to tell other people as well. That's something that you know. When people we're having issues with their relationships our tendencies to go inward rather than outward and and? I don't think we really talk enough about About mistakes that we've made or issues that we've had and You know I think that that's really important for for me to put that out there right. And there's something about running solitude that accompanies at that gives you the space the capacity to kind of wrestle with those things and get clarity for yourself when you have a monologue in the in the film. I think it's after you've left Aspen. And you're in you're in the snow in the rockies where you say you know. Look running was about competition petition for most of my life measuring myself against others and o'clock but it's become a process of Not just connecting with other humans but a process of self discovery and that's like a huge theme and and everything that you do and and in this beautiful movie. Yeah and I think that I think if most of us most of us that do run or walk or biker pursue something with consistency year after year. I think if we really look at what it's doing for us I think that a lot of us will find the same things right And this this is something that I tell people In in you know running as has been my thing but I I don't think that's necessarily the thing for everybody. I think that writing knitting could be that thing crochet You know bad mitten mitten like a I think for me. I chose this activity twenty over twenty years ago. Twenty five years ago and and I've stuck with it for twenty five years and and when you stick with something for that long whether it's it's negatively or person you're gonNA continue to learn so much more about that but also and more importantly you're gonNA learn so much more about yourself and write this. This thing just keeps changing and changing and changing and it's that consistency that allows for that to to happen right So lots of people of run across America. Yeah I had just had this Guy Ravi ballinger on the show. Who who did it last year he did it in like seventy five days A friend Mike Posner just walked across America but most people that do this do it with an RV supports that and that support tends to be off. Camera You you decide to do this. Unsupported and for a vast majority of the entire expedition. It's it just you with a very light backpack and a tarp and a ground cloth and a little bit of food and basically that's it. Yeah so I mean I've been at the sport for quite a while I wouldn't say that I have a huge following but I do have people that are paying attention to what I'm doing doing and for me personally. It doesn't seem right to To put this project out there In in a way that I don't think is accessible to a normal person and by that I mean I don't think most people can Pull together together in RV in the funds to pay for person in gas and food for multiple people for months on end conversely. I do you think that people a lot of people Ideally if you're if you're younger and you have the physical capability can put together the funds and and the time to do it in the same way that I did. Maybe you're not doing. There's a there's a little bit of an irony in there because you're going to do this. Super Super Extreme thing to show the how doable it is for everybody. Yeah and maybe not everybody but I I do believe You know how many people are doing the Appalachian Ablation trail these days. You know you've got several thousand people starting the Appalachian Trail these days and I think the Appalachian trail is awesome. Like there's no doubt about it but like how much are you really going to learn about. You'RE GONNA learn a lot about yourself And you'RE GONNA learn a lot about trail culture but how much are you really going to learn about the United States in this Greater Peter Context. It's it's a form of escapism. And that sometimes exactly what we need is to escape What's going on outside of outside of our front front door but for me personally like I needed to Explore something a lot deeper than just myself and just You know the the physical capabilities of something like that so So I set a budget for myself. I did a thousand dollars a month Five thousand dollars total for the five months I slept outside most nights I'd get a hotel or a motel once once a week or once every ten days that increased More towards like once every couple of days towards the end as I started kind of losing it a little bit simply needed to Go into a room and lock the door and turn the AC on and and turn some mindless television on But for the most part what I wanted to do was to to to put it out there that this is something that people can do and there's alternatives to these To do in the Appalachian trail or or go in a Europe for four months like you can just pack very light backpack and and see what's out there in La and it's it's really incredible when you You know when people see that all you have is in your backpack and they ask you. If you've got a gun to protect yourself and and end like now I don't have a gun You know just putting yourself out there. In a vulnerable position the amount of warmth and and generosity that experienced was was something that I never could have anticipated in a million years. People giving me every last dollar from their wallet you know. And there's the guy what's his name Jim- steel eighty bucks or one hundred one hundred eighty it was I said eighty it was one hundred hundred sixty one hundred in sixty dollars an and he wasn't taking no for an answer. No it was amazing. It was And that's when I kind of realized You know that the people in their own way want to participate in this in this thing A few years ago so this is kind of something something that I think about The best way for me to to tell this is is to talk about someone else running across the country and that was peak stall nic. Who did Across the country and forty. I'M GONNA say forty four days. It could've been a little quicker. This is in twenty sixteen so a year before for a few months before I did mine. he did this in. He was doing sixty to seventy miles a day for forty five days and broke the the record that had stood for unsupported he was very supportive though three. RT's with several people. Yeah it was It was it is a big effort on for a lot the people and and he he's shirt to give them credit as well But for me personally. So I. I was in Wisconsin at the time and I saw that he was going through Northern Illinois and I got in my car and drove a two and a half hours just to run with him for a few miles. Because it's like I just felt like it was seeing this mythical creature when someone's doing something like that and even now to this day like a now that I've done this big journey like I still think it's a mythical creature two years it's like seeing a mountain lion or something and and so I think that for me. That's what it that's what it was for kind of when I came to realize that some people people when they they wanted to give me money or just stop and talk it was like you know it is something rare right. There's the one guy who looks like he turned his car around when he saw all you and he got out of my friends going to freak out I read about you like when you cross the state line or something like that so there was some awareness as you were passing through what you were doing. Totally totally in in certain areas. I don't know why it wasn't certain areas. It was Oklahoma and Arkansas where I received the most amount of generosity and warmth and then when I got to California ironically nothing. It's interesting I think what I appreciate appreciate most is is there's a there's a vein of humility vulnerability that that infuses this effort and the other things that you've done and This transamerica journey is almost like this Performance art piece piece. That is part of Tocqueville Part Henry David Thoreau like. I'm GonNA light out on America and learn about democracy and connect with people people to try to better understand then that are under stand myself and better understand what is required to unite us and bring us together totally and they took your time. The priority wasn't the running the priority was the connection in funniest thing that I encountered honored or the most interesting thing that I encountered when I went across the country is that like I thought it would be talking politics all the time and it never came up is just like you when when you're doing something like that when people see something like that they don't want to ask you what your political views are. They wanted to ask you about like what you're doing what you're seeing out there and and it just becomes really incredible that so much of this stuff just kind of dissolves away hey and and you realize that And I think I say the same thing in in the movie coming out Is that I think we're I don't think so. I know so. We're way more similar than we are different. Yeah it's I I think that we're ninety percent similarity. Ten percent different in that ten percent difference has become inflated so that we think that it's ninety percent but it's not right it's exploited on its leveraged by the media to further divide US totally and and end You know I I subscribe to my own media and and a lot that's been brought to my attention over the past couple years with talk of fake news and all of these things. Things is is coming to terms with that the media that I pay attention to is also biased and and it's not just Fox News like NPR's also biased. We've all all got these biopsies and and you know we like to think that we're right about Our convictions but the reality is is stat You know there's a million different paths out there. Yeah and if you grew up in Kansas and on a farm in Kansas and you had that lifestyle will and you know there's the to see their voting habits their convictions as every bit as valid as mine mine. And that's probably the the biggest thing that that I gained from from my run across the country is is coming to terms with that. Yeah did it change your your media media diet in any way. Did it expand like what you expose yourself to or contract that are you know what is the lingering kind of long term impact because this was a couple years ago. Yeah Yeah so you've had time to reflect totally out some objectivity on it. It has And let's see. How do I put this? It's it's just made me pay attention to other forms of media and it doesn't necessarily I don't necessarily subscribe to them but being aware that these that Fox News is out there and that this is where my dad gets his information and In that Ah if I can allow myself to believe that You know maybe NPR or whatever it is that I pay attention to I don't necessarily believe this but if if I can believe that. NPR's is just as biased as Fox. News is Based on on you know our polarized convictions right In in the agenda behind them. Then that's Then that's what stuck with me from from that trip at least in terms of of my attention to media right so you start in South Carolina and there's this great great scene where you sell your car for a thousand dollars. You have to pay her to give you a ride to the beach. And she doesn't she couldn't care less what you were doing. She's just totally disinterested in unflappable about experience experience and it's very unceremonious. How you begin you kind of dip your toe into the ocean and then you're like all right? I guess we're starting now. Yeah that's it totally. I mean there's yeah I don't know there's no real way to start a trip like that and I don't I didn't want anyone there. I did have a videographer there. My friend jared shared With the wandering fever who's making this film with Solomon My main sponsor is the backer behind it And I was grateful to have him. He rented a car so after we sold that car he rented a car and and I had back up for the first six days which was really nice. It was nice software to enter this journey But Yeah it's it's I mean it's just crazy starting a trip like that. It's like you really do that. That that quote definitely emerges a trip of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And right like that first step is just like so aren't where it's just like and then there's another stab. Yeah it's doing this. Yeah exactly and then and then you get to the end of the first day in like I only did like thirteen miles that day and I got completely fried sunburned fried and on the first day one blisters like Sunburn Hungry like everything right and dislike. Wow all right all right. y'All who get venture well. It seemed like most of the most profound encounters that you had with human beings took place during that like tour of the south like from South Carolina through. Oklahoma is where you connected the most with people. And then it's then you kind of enter this phase where the expanses of nature began to just get bigger and bigger and those encounters or fewer and fewer. And then like you're in Aspen and you do a reset where your home with your family and your friends and it almost felt like all the questions that you were asking of yourself and others had kind of been answered at that point like every every intention that you we went into this run in terms of like things that you wanted to solve for yourself or discover or learn had kind of been resolved answered but yet you have this whole thank you John. Actually the hardest part of the whole thing still remained for you to do. was there a moment where you're like. I don't need to get to California like I've kind of satisfied spied myself here. There is yeah I would say that I can safely say that there is no moment where that actually occurred to me. It was just kind of like I don't so now it's like going down the Grand Canyon or going through the rapids or something. It's like you're halfway through the rapids and you're like that was fun but it's like there's no there's no getting out there's no getting off the river and that's that was my mentality and I think it was in terms of completing the goal. That was the best mentality to have for my personal health and mental sanity. It probably wasn't the best but it it did bring me to a place wastes that I I couldn't have anticipated or gotten to otherwise and I still think about it a lot To this day two years later just like The state of mind that I ended up getting into in in the desert yeah in the depths of it and just kind of This this full emptiness of of self and right any start to think about other. You know some some very big names throughout the course of human history who tested themselves in the desert and for for long periods of time and and growing up Catholic The first one obviously to come to mind is Jesus in the desert for for forty days. And I'm not the overly religious anymore but did something that I think about In that sentences like you know how how accurate that story is or how much you want to interpret that story like the body and the mind goes through some really serious changes changes when you're in the desert for that long and you start to lose it a little bit and You just start to become really emptying eighteen. You're almost your ego is truly becomes dissolved and you just have this goal to get across it and and you start doing not thinking thinking and it's it's a really beautiful thing. Well it's like a purification right. It's like you've traversed a huge section of the country retrea. You've been enriched through all these experiences that you've had all these people that you've met along the way and now in order for you to become whole we got a strip you down to your you know we're GonNa take you through this section of the country that is going to basically beat you down and burn you to a crisp until you. You're forced to meet yourself and the most was profound way that you ever have before and then you can reassemble all these pieces and emerged from this experience. Like transformed totally like it's it's it is biblical certain respect. And it's also this kind of Hero's journey like you're not done yet now. The final phase. We're I'M GONNA put you through this thing and see if you can weather this totally and it's not permanent which is kind of a bummer. That purification of the soul. If if that's what we're going to call it it's not permanent. Yeah finish the trip and back to resetting totally what do I do with in. This is where I'm I'm curious to talk You know or listen to two other people that have gone through a similar sort of things like how. How do you put your life together? Gather after this you're not gonNA keep walking forever And and it's it's funny I You know of course any you tell anybody that you went across the country on on foot and and nine times out of ten. They're they'll say. Oh you like forrest gump and of course you're like Oh yeah yeah force okay. That was that was a movie but yes but there is the scene in the movie where he just like. You can see. It's like it's very real like he. He has purified himself on any stops in the a desert. Me Says He. He's done going home right. It's like there's nothing else to be done. I figured if I found looking for yeah I like it. Gives me goosebumps. uh-huh right now. It's kind of funny to think about forrest gump. Even after I've I've done that and to recognize those this similarities and Just in the the astuteness of the film itself in putting that in there and just have like not labeling it overtly but having it there and just seeing like he was he was done done like human. There is nothing. There was nothing more to be gained from from that journey. Right but you were not in the desert and not have that of HICFA NI moment. No it is. It is most people's only frame of Reference Code or anything it you're doing and rather than be annoyed by that able to embrace it and say actually that was profound found. Yes I am I am retracing those steps in that way the on this journey. Yeah which is cool of all the encounters that you had along the way what. What are the ones that that stick with you? So there is that one This is in the film. Jim Steel who literally emptied beat out every dollar of his wallet and gave it to me and That was quite profound. That was in Arkansas on a particularly miserable day I could remember like I was in between two towns. One was called quit man and I suppose you would equipment and the other was I forget what the other town was is but it was like in a day where if I was really paying attention to the what the universe was telling me to do it was telling me to quit man and This guy is pulls up and and Just as he said in the spirit that it's given just gave me on every dollar out of his pocket. Was He driving along the road and he was this year he was driving along the road. And in Pulled up alongside me and saw me with my backpack in my beard and and asked if I I was running across the country and said I wanNA talk to you any was up ahead another two hundred meters and we just had a short conversation but I think it was equally as impactful for both of us. Another one was in the middle of the Nevada desert There's is this On Highway Fifty in Austin Nevada. There's this bar. There called the Serbian Christmas bar or something like that. And there's this A Serbian man that that runs the that owns the restaurant and There was it was just funny to find an article written about him they were. The article is about highway fifty. But then it focused in on this man and found this article and and just talking about how racist and terrible of a human being this Guy Diana's and and So went in there and had several beers with him and and had a great time and heard his perspective and I'm tried to take it in as best I could but You know still in the end Walked Away with the new friend Gosh there's so many along the side to a section of Rivers. You're asking like kind of how this how how I came up with the idea of this run or and one of the things like so I did about a thousand miles of trail to twenty five hundred miles of road and Three hundred miles of river and the Tennessee River going across Alabama Obama in the spirit of of American westward expansion. Very huckleberry Finn Huck Finn also Lewis and Clark Lewis and Clark did about two thousand miles of river up river. They went up. believed the Mississippi and into the Missouri. They went up the re the Missouri. Quite a ways before setting off on land Just trying to get a feel for that You know when you can take advantage of water you do and so I was going down the river for a couple days and at that point three or four days and I'd just about to cross into Alabama and Needed to get some food from Pittsburgh Tennessee South Pittsburg Tennessee and pulled onto this private dock and almost have got my wet sleeping bag out my paddle board up on on this dock and this fancy car drives up right then and my gosh this is the the landowner and ensure enough it was and and he had read an article that was published in the Memphis Tennessee. I can't remember the name of the Sorry Chattanooga Tennessee. I can't remember the name of the newspaper. But he just comes up to me and he says are you that skinny boy. Run into to San Francisco. They said yes. Sir I am. He's like taking you to supper. So we get in his car and then he drove me into town. He's the fourth generation in CEO owner of Cav Lodge cast iron the the skillets And took me all over town towns about a thousand people Introduced me to the entire staff in the office. They all thought I was a bit Kooky But this guy guys like mid seventies and and just like you could tell it was total character And just wanted to talk about rivers and how. He's coming to the end of his his time at the at the company and and he's GonNa go start doing big river trips and and so that was really awesome. And you give you a bed to sleep sleep and that and I know I had to keep going. Yeah I would've he would've been I would've taken him up on it but I I I it was midday bright and so I needed needed to keep going and he pulled out one hundred dollars out of his pocket and said can I give this to you and I said I you know I really don't need I saved up my money and and Seventy five years old guy gives me knuckles and he's like right on. Yeah it's kind of like your this Western manifest destiny version of the Buddhist ascetic. You know who who basically is relying on the kindness of strangers to survive. Did you do where were their opportunities. That where people were opening up your at their homes and letting you crash there for the night and stuff like that totally. Yeah Yeah One. In particular memorable one was in On the osage reservation in Oklahoma North Eastern Oklahoma Oma and I had gotten to this town Space in the name of the town right now But got there was buying a couple beers. Is that the The store and this guy Behind me in line He he i. That's what it was. I was asking the The clerk because I had spent the previous night out in the rain and I just wanted to a nice dry spots sleep wasn't looking for anything other than a dry spot and And she's like I don't know the bridge over there. It's okay but I think it's pretty rocky there and and this guy behind Behind Immune Line he just looks at me and he says you're not gonNA so long as you don't steal anything you don't go into my brother's room who owns the place You can stay with me brother man and he had a twelve pack of beer and and we went back to his place and talked for the next four and a half hours. I I can't imagine the set of circumstances that would have to arise for me to invite like a stranger who's in line with me at some store back to my house. Yeah to crash you know what I mean like. We've lost that. Maybe that's a small town thing and it seems like a small gesture but that's kind of a big thing it is a big thing yeah and it was In I it seems to me that I encountered that way more like that sort of generosity encounter have way more. We're in the south and then less so as I got into the West And see I don't I don't know what that says about us or about Out there. What do you make of America summation say I mean? After that trip I thought America was great and I still do to this day. And it definitely definitely Yeah it it rekindled. Uh this love that I that I have for this country and and I just think that I mean I'm not gonNA go out preaching to everybody to go run or walk across the country but Running across our our county or or whatever ever it is You know can can do lot. Well we not. Everyone's going to run across America. Very few are everybody has the ability to more profoundly. Allie connect with their neighbors totally. I think that's that's what I take away from it but there are all little things that we can do every single day to try to bridge this divide a little look better than we have and I think such a huge part of it is like physically getting out there and meeting people and it's really uncomfortable like initially. It's really uncomfortable. Well well you have the ultimate icebreaker like when you open up. This is what I'm doing. Everyone's GonNa WanNa talk to you totally but you strike me. It's not like you're this. This super the outgoing person like you're you're kind of a quiet guy right like was that uncomfortable for you to be that open invulnerable and roll up on strangers. There's when you're passing through it wasn't You know going back to this this myth of the mountain lion when when I mean you really start to embody that not like you really start to feel like you are something special even though it's it's it's not lasting for that long. It's just lasting acting for the few months that you're doing it and then you know when it's done. It's something that you have done. It's no longer something that you are doing so while you are doing that thing I found that it was really quite easy for me to go into a bar. And and kind of puff up my chest and say I'm I'm running across the country. Who's buying me beer? Lots of Free Beers. Yeah Yeah so yeah and then and then when it's over you die. That's that's where the real work begins at least for the the the individual right. He's like what do you do with with this thing that you have done that you are no longer doing well. I mean I don't know if you think of yourself or call yourself an artist I certainly do And and you know part of being an artist. The definition of art and being an artist is to perceive the world through your unique unique lands and then translate it using some form of medium to elucidate a greater truth about humanity or the world right and that can come in a variety of forms that it can. It can be in the analog encounters that you're having when you're running across America but you do it in many ways like you're very very much storyteller through photography through films or your. I mean the writing on your website. I'd never been to your website before your website is super cool. Like the way it's I I mean it's laid out so minimally and beautifully but everything that you've written on it and the visual aesthetic of it like it speaks to that artistic sensibility and the storytelling aspect of of what you've done is super important. And I. I'm sure there's no it's no mistake that that this film you know still hasn't come out two years years since you've done the run like the amount of work to try to get it right and tell the story that you wanna tell totally and and looking over at this book here that you have Superman. Water published by chronicle books. I'm GONNA shamelessly that. I've got a book coming out about this as well. You do. Cool Chronicle of good time Spring April twenty twenty good. I can corral you to come back here and wonderful more for big but yet it's You know that in I and I had both the film in the movie in mind Before I started this trip. And that's it was. It was part of my packing is like I want to be able to like. I don't want to just do this for me. I'm doing this for a lot of people that don't have the ability whether it's physically whether it's Sunni whether it's family time any number of things like how do i. How can I share this? With as many people as possible in in his positive of ways possible And so yeah. I don't know if I've totally embraced The title of artists yet. I think that I mean I studied sociology. Photography in school in with photography. Certainly talk a lot about art It's it's such a technical pursuit that you're oftentimes talking about technique rather than the meaning behind All all of what. You're shooting But that element has always been there for me and your wife's an artist. She is very much like an artists. Collective totally just embrace. CNS Monitor all. Shift my my resume while when I'm watching the movie I'm thinking about the logistics of how you pulled this off just not the not. In addition to the Ron like how you managed the workflow of like capturing all of this so I would imagine a lot of. It's on iphone but you had cameras with you and I'm thinking how many SD cards did he bring in housing keeping the batteries charged. And what is he doing with all the footage to make sure that it doesn't get wet and ruined all that kind of stuff. Well I went through I destroyed. I think at least two and I think probably three Sony Rx one hundreds. I'm surprised they still give me the The insurance deal on them because I buy those two thousand bucks a pop and a hundred billion one hundred bucks on the insurance and they never last me for more than six months. But they're they're great cameras. Chest mounted go pro and then The IPHONE and and Yeah it was just kind of funny At times they're like you know when I've got literally several weeks of footage On My my person it no longer is anything worth anything except for those cards there. Are they ziplock bags and super like how are you now. uh-huh oh my God. Yeah I mean there's a lot of beautiful cinematography and incredible drone shots and the like so you had a crew that would like drop up in for short periods jared So with the wandering fever Dean Leslie in and his wife Hannah Are there an incredible artistic. Just a couple that have done. Most of Solomon's running films in the past eight or nine years of worked with Dean on whole bunch the projects we've been on five different continents together and this was definitely an a new route for us for me to shoot a lot and just hand that over and then and then he sent out His assistant Jared to to join me for for At the beginning for one week and then and in the middle in Colorado for three weeks and into the desert and then at the end for four days and so it was You're just kind of keeping your fingers crossed that you're getting everything For me personally. It was a challenge to you. You know on the worst of days to pull out the cameras and pointed out myself in and talk to myself talk to an audience When I'm feeling borderline crippled To set the camera up and run back and forth in front of the camera. He put the camera there back and ran by. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah some some out dates movie hilarious. The the camera falling to the ground and right yeah But I was is yeah having now seen the evolution of the film I I. I'm grateful for all that we did. put into it. Were there times. It has to be awkward at times when you're having these encounters with people to pull out a camera on and say can I document this. Yeah it was awkward grid at Times People. I only got turned down twice. Yeah and people were. Were pretty chill about it. I think they appreciated again. What I was doing and and You know they'd ask what its foreign. I say well I might make a movie about this but really I just want to remember the people that are meeting along the way And what's the plan with the movie. I mean as of today it's not it's not out publicly. Yeah well Keeping our fingers crossed it's been submitted to a couple of the the bigger independent film vests here in the states And so that would. That's kind of the ultimate goal is to see it on the big screen in Austin or in In New York City. So if any of you guys are out there. Yeah it's an hour and in fifteen minutes or something like that so it's a little bit shorter than a typical Nonfiction documentary but but much longer than anything. You've done primarily. Yeah Dan well let's talk about Run ever run every street thing. Yeah because the the the Trans Americana was taking this very thin line across across America in many ways Just circumstances dictating that you have to keep it somewhat on a surface level and the running every street in San Francisco thing which really put you on the map and created like a media. Frenzy was a different version of that. That allows you to go. Go Deep Ryan like more immerse yourself in your community on that same theme of the world unless you know you know your neighborhood and you're like I live here. Let me learn this totally and people think of San Francisco is a relatively small city and that is not the case. If you're going to run every street totally so how `bout idea come to you that that actually came to me almost immediately after running across the country so listen I got back together. We got back together as I was running across the country We started discussing ways next. she was. We were in Wisconsin where she was doing her. MFA Program. I'm and and she had a couple of great job prospects in San Francisco and I can again kind of live anywhere. So I I signed up for that and we moved back to the bay area and And it was really kind of in my recovery time from running across the country where I was sitting up in the Berkeley Hills At this really cool house that we had scored for for the summer and out on the porch. There where you're looking at everything. I think from Mount Tam to Sausalito Golden Gate Bridge Bay Bridge Downtown San Francisco. You looking down the peninsula. You're looking Oakland and Fremont you know you've you've got a view of a population of two million people in so much commerce so much transportation in coming and going really it was. I'm not going to call it the opposite of my experience That I had just done going across the country but in in terms of the space the solitude that I had experienced doing forty fifty miles day running across the country. It was So dance and still so completely foreign to me You know to Have had such a massive experience Such as running across the country and then look down at this human hive of two million people people and kind of realizing that like my experience was so limited with what I had just done in that. If you really want to get to know a country a place like this is such a critical part of it as well as getting to know the densest. This part the the place where we're humans actually congregate in mass. And so that's when I'm looking at that and I'm like why all all right. So how many. How many miles street are there in San Francisco? I if you're you know it's it's a reasonably It's a compact city Eh. It's got Very strict borders It's a seven by seven miles square And you know he starts so I started doing my research. How many miles? Anything said eleven hundred fifty miles of streets or eleven hundred miles street in San Francisco. And I'm like okay. That's from MM approximately Denver to San Francisco Like I know how far that is. I know how long that could potentially take me Like what what would that be like. And then more research. I find that San Francisco Chronicle Writer adjourn journalist had done exactly that he walked it over about seven years time and wrote like two or three different articles about it and and And I was immediately inspired. Get in touch with that guy. I tried my very best sleuthing ever. I called his name is John. Graham and I called probably ten different John Grams and not cold call cold call. Yeah it was like bookstore really it was. It was like and even contacted the chronicle. I contacted a lot of people in China in he'd move to a different part of California and so I looked for him there and like his age. Never never you talk to him. I'd still love to talk to him I. I don't know if he knows that I'm sure he knows now. I would hope so. It's like because it is very inspiring and and his writings on it were ended up becoming very similar to to my impression And so so. Yeah I I I wanted to Take the same approach but do it. ultra runner style and just massive miles every day and and And see if he's if he took seven years to do it a city can completely change in seven years especially a city like San Francisco. You got to start over and do it again totally. What's what's if you can do it in in six weeks or two months? I feel like you're getting a snapshot of that place ace at that moment in time. Right just looking at the grid of San Francisco. When you're embarking on this? I thought like first of all like how do you even figure figure out how you're GonNa do this route and do it in a sane like well planned manner and I realized like that's a super complicated equation to solve off but when I started digging into it more getting ready to talk to you today I realized Oh it's way more complicated than I would have imagined. And you sought out the advice or the council of like a friend of yours who was a professor right. who like works in computer? Mapping or something like that you figure out the best way to approach this and so we have seventy emails back and forth from each other from my run of San Francisco. It was it was every single day it was communicating with him His name is Michael. Odi We were on the cross country team together in in highschool. He's he's a brilliant Human being and he loved the idea that I was that I was going for this like little human guinea pig for this equation that he's been thinking about before I even mentioned it to him And in the end I used very little of his information really. Yeah because because in for any wasn't because his information was bad it is because of so many different variables like you like translating the equation into usable symbol terms for myself And so like how do you do that. You put it in Google apps or you put it in like there's this APP called Matt My runnner under let. Nah I forget what they're called But they actually can talk to you from your phone take a left here. End of this block. Earn around and and It's San Francisco's too dense for that to actually work for it to be For to to work seamlessly and so or you know if you got off the route so it would program at ten mile loop is what they call it because you are starting and finishing in the same place even yeah no. It doesn't look at all like a loop If you got off your loop at all your on mile to and then like only one block away you might be on mile five the equation would skip those three miles and but then it would ruin my entire plan for a and so I ended up just I found that it was for me personally. It was easier to to have a map in my hand and kind of figure out my route throughout the day and it was like it actually became kind of fun. Find like I'm not a Ah Puzzle person like Crossword Puzzles or the Rubik's cube. I've never solved solved a Rubik's cube in my life But but when you when it when it gets translated into running terms and you're actually running this crossword puzzle this Rubik's Cube and if you do it well well then it'll take you twenty five miles if you do it poorly it's GonNa take you twenty eight miles like at the end of the twenty five Mile Day those three extra miles of the big is huge incentive for you to get this problem right and so it was It became really exciting. I got really good at it. Yeah you have to be the cartographer urban archaeologists to solve it. And it's interesting that so so this professor was like crunching Algorithms uh-huh to solve it but ultimately you went more a little bit more on like feel and tactile printed out maps and things like that totally in in like there's just a lot of the things that like that he couldn't possibly account for In some ways can't park your car. You're Vam there for all day or totally. That's one thing you hurt your car. Or you know it would make sense For for the sake of the algorithm to go across the street and dude like two or three blocks in a different neighborhood and which you would therefore not have to do on a different day but it would ruin the entire feel of of of that day like you're very much like a huge street like market going down the center of San Francisco staying within in an like a sub ecosystem exact on crossing into a different kind of like cross section of humanity. That's a very good way to put it. And and so I didn't I didn't I didn't really want to do that. And so he would figure out you know. So this is though seventy emails back and forth is him not just figuring out a good algorithm but figuring bring out what ricky wants and so you were you sleeping. You're van at night or were you going home up to the Berkeley hills else So I ended up sleeping in the so I've The Long Story Short Couple of European friends came over to the states Wanting van I helped them buy a van. I had no intention of using this fan. Who's just going to sell it when they left and when they left is when this project started in? That's when I realized like this is going to say. Yeah this is GonNa Save me two hours a day of driving when I'm going to be extremely tired And like didn't want to deal with traffic and and so I ended up sleeping in my van for most of it and Liz would come into the city and camp out in the city you urban camping. I I I should have and I probably still can come up with an amazing map of the best camp spots in San Francisco. Copper like places where you can be up on on a hill and with your door open looking at stars and and the city skyline safe and So yeah it was a really cool part of it and then in of course just being able to To end my day you know right there and then start the next day right there and you never had to worry about hydration or food right. Did you just go into restaurants and eat. Or how did you manage the calories. Almost entirely restaurants in in Chinatown was Chinese food and and the sunset Vietnamese and fun in the mission it was tacos lots of Tacos and yeah and I never I again carried Two different cameras with me in order to be able to document all of it. So I had Suni Rx one hundred and then a little GOPRO And then my cell phones. I had three cameras. Yeah and we should say Solomon made eight. A film called every single street. The same people that worked on the transamerica totally yeah the wandering fever and he was a really fun on film to work on Just it was different than going across the country Because we were talking about how I when I was running across the country country like at even have to tell people if I did want to tell people right you know. It was like people were immediately interested in what I was doing. This was completely the opposite. I don't know exactly who cares exactly You know a but your ability to interact with people is one hundred fold higher. You're just surrounded by people the entire time totally. So what were those encounters like like how how what was similar and what was different about the interpersonal. You know encounters experiences Yeah they were lot shorter. They weren't all all admit they for the most part they weren't too steep It's just the nature of living in a city city. And that's part of what I wanted to discover on on something like that. Is You know the the city. You're just packed like it's constant stimulation relation and that's people that's cars that's noise it's food like all of these things is w would have killed for when you're running across the desert totally with the exception one of like you know the the the lack of intimacy and I think that that speaks a lot to what city is A lot of people so for me personally like if I want to get lost like I go out into the mountains and that's my that's my quiet spot. That's where I go to be by myself for are a lot of people that space is the city Like that's They appreciate the anonymity of being in the city and and how nobody nobody really looks at you and nobody really cares you know. I think that's really a safe place for a lot of people That also lonely alienating totally. Yeah that's the flip side of that coin and so it's so yeah it was I would say my most powerful interactions with people in San Francisco where we're homeless people and And I think a huge part of that was this dedication. Not On my part I'm can be just as guilty of this as the next person and that's to ignore This this problem But when you're running certain streets in San Francisco Dead End Street in the middle of Soma like like. There's absolutely no reason to go to the end of that dead end street unless you're going there to to shoot up and then pass out And so when I find myself there and there's people there when you're going to say hey how you doing. And they they look at you looking at them and in you in you can have a conversation. Maybe you don't I I never felt In in danger by any means a certainly have but on my side but I'm young white male. Well A guy. Running shoes is in very threaten. Totally it's not like an alarm bell sanding off off If you're running around but you know you're you're putting yourself in precarious situation. Yeah but never any. You'd never our had any brushes with danger. No it was Yeah maybe like on the final day running through the tenderloin. Join in in San Francisco like eight or nine o'clock at night This guy I came around the corner and and he liked through a fake punch at me. I get my face. Jason just stopped right short. Any he was deciding me up those and and when when he saw that I didn't even flinch and the reason that I didn't flinch because I just run forty eight or forty nine miles that day and I was completely exhausted in like. I don't think it really mattered to me if he did knocked me out That would that probably would have been a nice end to that day He said all right man well in part inspired by by That expedition I spend. I've told the story before but I spend half the week in downtown La. Because I've got a daughter that goes to a high school down there and it's this is too far to commute on the daily And I'm used to running in the trails around here and I kind of took it upon myself. I've lived in Los Angeles for over twenty twenty years but until last year I would rarely go downtown. There's just no reason to and there's as you know. Los Angeles is sprawling. It's gigantic nick and there's very little there's huge patches of it that I've never been to and know nothing about and so I've taken it upon myself to better connect with my environment and when I do my runs downtown. It's all city streets and try to take different routes and I'll go through like we're right on the edge of skid row so I always run through skid row and run around Macarthur Park which are places that you know everyone will tell you don't don't go there and I found the people fall you know to be like really friendly and these are people with no. They're living in tents on the street and I get high fives and they recognize me now. Now there's like a friendly kind of report there whereas when I go on the trails around here like I'll wave to somebody running on the track and they don't even wave back right you know and I'm like that's not right right right right. You know. There's so much to be learned if we can set aside our fears and our judgments and open ourselves up a little bit not to say that I've done anything like what you've done is just a small taste of that without experience must be like I don't know I mean I don't know what the benefit is But I know that there is a benefit benefit to stepping outside of our comfort zones and looking people in the eye and and I think it's it it works both directions. I think in fact it Makes those people feel more human. You know when you're sleeping on the street in the middle of down downtown. La You you can and feel less and less like a human and it makes you feel more human as well and and Tap into this empathy That that that I think we can go a long way in our. Yeah this time in our society and Something that perhaps we're losing a little bit and it's a good way to to kind of gain back a little. We need more empathy in the air and empathy and humility. Thank our keystones for a better future absolutely one of your main goals or the impetus behind the Trans Americana. Ron was to inspire people to help them realize like hey. This is doable thousand dollars a month. That whole thing but did you but kind of ironically the run every street thing has been the template that has been copied and emulated by. You've created like a social movement. Now there people all over the world who you're doing their version of what you've done and there's news articles about it like that Guy Guide Scotland. I think who was a kickboxer. Who then did he tried to do? What you did? In his his own town so that has to be really cool to see kind of like the the ripple effect of that. It's awesome. Yeah yeah it's so like I. I don't follow much on social media but I do follow the every single street Hashtag Ha and it's just so cool to be able to see like on like outwardly. They're not the most amazing photographs or or accomplishes accomplishments on a day-to-day basis. but You keep kind kind of going through these in your your realizing like no. You're seeing a normal person's version of where they live uh-huh and it's and and yeah. It's just really cool. I mean you're fertilizing the seeds that are that are planting the fruit of greater eight or connectivity and community because of the more people that are doing that the more connected they are like. They're having their version of your experience. which is uniting people and bringing them together totally there was A? There was an article about a group in in Vancouver that did every trail in Stanley Park. Right yeah I realize there's like twenty four thousand kilometers of trail Israel and that's incredible do every trail and there's a big group photo of all of them together line. That's gotta be amazing. Yeah Yeah it's awesome. There's there's one in then there's a guy doing it in Brazil and and To seen the maps of the I think this is like it's you know some of these ideas they have to. You know we have to wait for that idea for everything to come together for that idea to work and right now. Our technology is is what is a big part of what's allowing this project to take off and I think the hunger and thirst that people have to be more connected lutely on top of that. There are all these people doing our projects on the graphing. Like the mapping part of it too like even sharing those on twitter like totally like these little like I don't you know we call them like motion graphics seeing street. You know like the the like this map street art kind of thing. Yeah and it's it's sort of organic organic but like organic on a human level which is definitely organic but On a human level. So I the one that I'm talking about or thinking that there's a couple in particular one like won an award or something. Yeah yeah totally. So this is gentlemen in France Who who I gave him all of the data from from my project and he digitalized the entire thing So that was just for for my data and the stuff that's out there. There's a guy in Zurich doing every single street and Syrup and and he's got some really cool graphics going along with that but Just the ability to aware watch or where your phone and then to have the This strange looking map of what you've accomplished during that during the day to be able to Show like you know. Here's your photos of of The stuff that you saw. And then here's this strange looking map And it and it looks way different. It looks at ten mile. Run in the city. Where you've got this goal to cover? All of the streets in a small area can can look so much more impressive Just on a graphic level then one hundred mile point to point rotten ones just a line in the other. Is this very intricate kit Detailed both accomplishment of Iran but also accomplishment of human society and they created those the streets in wire the streets in that shape. I feel like you should also do like a Taj in style. Coffee Table Book with photographs. Graphs and the graphics of the Mapping of that that tells the story in a more visual way working on it. Oh you are every every every single street theon is what it is that up right away. I like that how do you how do you make your life work live very your I mean to me. You're the definition of a minimalist. Like you keep your overhead really low you keep your life You conduct your life in a way that allows you to do the things that that you love and you have sponsors that support you all of that but like what does it look like on a daily basis Sometimes it's really exciting. Sometimes it's so mundane that it's depressing Like having running like I'm I'm very fortunate to have running as part of a daily routine And I would say less so than it was ten years ago I I I used to be obsessively like me to run every day and now that's a little bit less than and I'm realizing that The less I run if if I don't have that routine than That the sooner that existential crisis comes in and that's usually a pretty good indication that I need to put my shoes on and get out for on But yeah the day to day is I Dunno no it's I'm trying to figure it's it's constant reinvention so some days it's like I feel like I accomplished so much whether that's on artistic level photographs Writing Coming up with ideas figuring out ways to execute those ideas and then other days it's like virtually nothing at all but what's important is having the time and the ability ability to To be able to do those things right so yeah I don't know. Does that. Answer your question tonight. He just you know I'm interested in in and like how like there's a lot of I think of you in a way. That's sort of similar to someone like Laird Hamilton. Like he's created a life out of surfing that has nothing to do with competition and you emerged emerged from the competitive sphere of ultra running to cut this very unique path. That you own and only you can do what you do. And you've been able to create a living out of that which is like an amazing thing like you get to basically do what you WanNa do and pursue the projects that inspire you. And that's that's a gift that's like a that's like this rare little space that most people can't access in their lives. And so I mean you're I mean you're the product of a hippie parents you know like you were sort of raised to kind of cut your own unique path. I suppose in many ways But were there there ever times where you thought like I got to get a job or like you know those moments of doubt or yeah where your faith was questioned about whether this is really like. Am I going to be able to do this. It's gotta be hard. Yeah and I think that almost every single day I get a job right and it's like a job I mean I've worked I waited tables ten or fifteen years. I up distribution mess Gal for A friend of mine for a little while I for a little bit theros delivering food in San Francisco and my motorcycle So I've I've had lots of jobs and and more often than not. These jobs are to fill fill my day a little bit and to meet people and and to To to pretty much to not be at home all day long and with with running as my only outlet but in terms of running as a job In these more recent projects It's it's something when you know when I decided to run across the country a couple years ago it was Yeah it was just kind of time in in my career where you know. I'm I'm not going to be killing me right At anything like how many times have you told the line at some big race exactly in like so many of these races I can tell you from experience like it's win or lose it's like even if there's a podium even if there's prize money ten deep it's you people only recognized that you've won or lost which is a shame I think but it's also just kind of the nature of the beast and so in in that sense I decided like I want to start doing more project based runs that possibly Inspire people in a completely different way in ways that I've personally been inspire And so for that. It's been these these two the projects that we've been talking about I also put together a bunch of running trips rush home run run run run and yeah now I'm getting. I'm getting confused. RUN RUN HUT in bus run bus so these are two my kind of running retreats right. They're kind of running retreats. It's running experiences. I'm still trying to find the right label for them but they they're they're small groups this hut hut running trip in Colorado Goes from Aspen to A small town outside veil and we stay at these secluded D- mountain huts the Tenth Mountain huts which I grew up In Colorado maintaining when I was starting at sixteen years old I was going into and trail maintenance for these Hudson. And you know. He'd skied from Hut to hut. And we biked from hot too high but There is never any trip that was running from and It's a six for seven years ago. I came up with this idea to to do this and and vehicle assisted so all you need is is your backpack Small running pack and and And the ability to cover fifteen to twenty miles a day which is in most people's WHEELHOUSE and way more than people think and so I've done I think thirteen or fourteen of those do usually do two or three year and getting to meet people and see see people sort of transform During this week when your cellphone doesn't work and you're really challenging yourself and your sleeping at ten thousand eleven thousand feet with not a lot of oxygen It's really quite exciting. And so it's it's is kind of for me. It's an opportunity to provide a little bit of my life and my philosophy for others. And you know I. I don't make people get rid of their wives for the week but I definitely suggests that they turn off and not pay attention too much just We're going to get there. So if you had to articulate that philosophy what is Find over fast. And that's that's generally what I tell people people in and that Yeah I I think that What it is is really just tapping into something? Something way more primordial that we've lost touch with a little bit This simple you know coming up with a simple goal. We'll just keep moving all day long. And then when we get there we're going to Eton hang out and share some smiles and It is getting back to something really prime on. I think that speaks to another like hunger and thirst that we that we have you know people are more interested in having those kinds of experiences. Parents is now then go into a fancy resort total and laying on a beach near like how can i. How can I just feel more and and and feel more alive and we're so accustomed to being offices and riding elevators and things like that? We've we've lost that connection and what's the the bus run Bus It's kind of a different version of that. It's a different version of that so I've got some history of live. Got A lot of history of road trips and a little history of River River rafting and so I kind of consider it The the combination of those two things I Being Traveler for the past twenty plus years have known about This bus company Green Tortoise Out of San Francisco. They've been going since the early nineteen seventies nineteen seventy-three The the gentleman that started it converted a school bus and drove people from San Francisco to New York and He did the first one in like four or five days on the second one. He did in one week week than the third one he did in three weeks and he realized that the longer he went the more people you get to sign up for And so now whatever it is fifty years later. Sure he's His son in his grandson His son owns it. His grandson is a driver and and They have a fleet of five buses and they run trips all over the place Oliver. The American West up to Alaska sometimes down in Mexico and I've known about them and I approached them and asked if they could charter a bus And do this trip San Francisco. You Cindy Zay on Grand Canyon. Las Vegas Big Sur and back to San Francisco in seven days and the guys is just lit up. And he's like that sounds amazing so basically you get a bunch of you sleep on the bus. You sleep on the bus driver. I do a cool place and you run around and then you sleep and then go somewhere else exactly so. The bus drives through the night. So it's kind of I consider that kind of like time travel And you wake up in a new place and wake up in the city and you go. You've got ten hours to do short run or ten hours to do a long run. Whatever it is is that you feel comfortable with? That's pretty cool. So the first one was this past summer And we did that route that I just mentioned and I had had twenty five. I think runners on the bus to bus drivers We covered One Mile Shy of two thousand dozen miles I think the The stronger runners covered close to one hundred and forty miles throughout the course of the week including like a fifteen mile run and in Las Vegas Hitting as many restaurants as they could the five hours that we were there and Yeah it was just. It was really phenomenal. It was The living in the American West we have so much at our fingertips Issue is getting to all of them and my so Solve that with two bus drivers and and a busload full of food and and A bunch of like minded unsporting so next summer. I'm doing Do Two of those. I'm going to do one up in Alaska which is really exciting. So we'll fly into anchorage and fly out out of Juneau and it'll be about fifteen or sixteen hundred miles on the bus and Potential again of of one hundred to one hundred fifty miles running and all those places Threes some of the most beautiful terrain In all of North America. Have you been up to Alaska Alaska. Before I've I've gone up there five five or six years in a row now. Oh Wow yeah so. I rode my motorcycle up there. Six years ago To complete I was when you did. You rode your motorcycle all the way to count. Yeah I rode my motorcycle to Patagonia when now is twenty three years old From Colorado I have this tendency this need to to to do things a little bit differently. I'd gotten into into a study abroad program in Valparaiso Chile and central Chile. I've been here. My wife is from Alaska. Her mother is Chilean. Okay from Santiago Valparaiso some of the coastal towns around there. Yeah it's incredibly beautiful inside gotten into this study abroad program and and just living in or being being in school in Boulder Colorado for You know however many years you get the college students coming back and from. I'm their study abroad program and and I was just kind of hearing the same stories over and over and over again in the Mike. All right I'm going to do study abroad but I'm GonNa do it my way. I'M GONNA ride my motorcycle and so this was a full ten years later I wanted to complete the two continents I rode my motorcycle up to Alaska Okay and then ran the Mount Marathon race up there which is Part of the reason that I I don't race all that much anymore. Her is because that race. I considered to be the best out of any race that I've ever done really pretty much in the world. Why is that It's dangerous it doesn't have a set course. It's extremely competitive. It's got a lot of history. there's Equal emphasis on the men as there are is on the women and on the juniors for that matter And it's just a it's incredibly huge celebration and of who we are as Americans and who we are athletes. It's really something cool and it all has so. There's nothing I can match match that so it's hard I don't know how to say it. It's like it's hard. It's like I love. I appreciate all of the races out there. I appreciate that. There's these races I I appreciate that That people have something on their calendar to to train for and to look forward to But after running up and down down a mountain in Alaska like the idea of training to run you know this contrived route around around a bunch of ski trails on a Ski Mountain. Because that's the only place that we can get a permit to run a race here in the lower forty eight Into doesn't and do a whole lot for me. Yeah like I said I. I'm glad that they exist But I I need something substantive substantive to to kind of feed my mind desire to race. Yeah what's the point. I mean there's always somebody doing something crazier to like like. How many times can you run the bad water worse in a row or to you? Know the seven marathons on seven continents and these are expensive affairs and your her whole thing is like that's great but let's Strip it away and we're and find the meaning and all of this and the media comes in those human connections that you have half just being in your backyard like it doesn't need to be more complicated right. Am One of the things we didn't talk about is the fact that you lived in Antarctica for a while. Yeah yeah it was a while ago right when when how old were you when you were there That was about those right. When Liz started dating maybe nine years? Yeah Yeah and I'm lucky. She's still in my life. I left frequently for several months at a time. This is who you are. Yeah and so this was Like anti I read which book I mean every everyone one. That's been Dan. Kartika has one book that spoke to them more than the others and a lot of people that books endurance and other people. It's another book for me. It was this book called the worst journey in the world. And you would think that would have the opposite effect instead this magnitude is you completely and so this was a journey in nineteen knows six or one thousand nine hundred seven And it was. It was the Scott Journey where here he ended up going to the South Pole and dying on the way back. This was written by the youngest person on his team that stayed at camp and and so And so he was there in Antarctica for two years. I'm like I gotta go home and yeah to very long winters winters And so an ex girlfriend of mine. Her ex boyfriend Demand Kartika and. I just asked him like how. How do I get a job there? For instance you can't go South Pole. Yeah unless you got a lot of money in the even then you still can't stay for that long And so he's like what. What sort of skills do you have? And I'm like I don't know. He's like carpentry like nope kitchen. And Mike SORTA. He's like dishwashing. Am I can wash dishes. And so that's what I did. I went. It's the hardest job I've ever gotten in terms of interviews and and physicals and all these things But Yeah I got a job at the South Pole. I was on the first airplane to go. There for that season was October twelfth off Must have been two thousand nine or two thousand ten and stuck around there for four months washing dishes six days a week. Ten hours a day ran two races while I was there. That was a huge part of the reason that I wanted to go. There's a race called the race around the world which takes place on Christmas Day Ever since the nineteen seventies and it's a two and a half mile race that goes around the station and and And pretty much. Everybody participates. That's why they're on foot or on snowmobile or on snow bikes or whatever. It is some people to- couches behind the snow mobiles It's just a parade eight around the station. It's an excuse for everybody to get out to create a new course though I did. Yeah and so when I arrived there. They were doing three laps. three like three quarter mile laps around the station and Mike but the station so much bigger than that. Like how come we. Don't go out to that. You know station in that building or that building out to the berms or out to those you know the the ice tunnels out there and the woman that I asked about it. She handed me a map of the station. Asian instead go ahead and write design the course then so I designed a new course there just one broader one big one big loop and it. It was awesome it in you when all around the station really cool every time zone every time zone. Yeah and then the winner of that race. You the the the award for the man in the women that win the races that you get a free trip to the edge of the continent to McMurdo Station in order to compete in the marathon on there which is again only open to employees. And it's usually get maybe forty or fifty people to run it and on the day before that we're supposed to fly lie to McMurdo mean this Gal They canceled our flight and it was just whether just no it wasn't it was bureaucracy. They had they had had They didn't need to any shipments to the south pole or vice versa. So they they just canceled flight. Like we're not. We're not a priority. The too skinny kitchen staff runners wanting to run the marathon On the coast was not enough of a priority so we enlisted the help of a couple surveyors at the South Pole station. And we designed our own Marathon course there at the South Pole station which was again one lap of what we've done about two and a half miles and then out to the ice runway which is two and a half miles long and we did five flaps up and down the ice runway For the shoe down one woman We ended up getting I think six or seven people started in four people ran the marathon from what I've been told It's still going to this day. I think they get like fifteen to twenty people competing the marathon for hands down quite possibly the most boring marathon course in the world. Definitely not the easiest the Ricky Gates Marathi. Yeah that's amazing. So what are we looking at like minus twenty like what is the temperature range. It was when I did that it was mine. Mine is bet. The the wind chill was minus forty and that was going one direction in the other direction it was probably more like minus sixty going along with the wind and then against the wind. How do you even gear up for the lot of layers a whole lot of layers? I had Big just like these guys. Big career phones Plugged into what was back. Then in I- i- pod And just remember this one funny part like an in huge mittens with the glove. warmers in there I had my ipod on album. Shuffle and I can't remember which album it was his greatest hits but Frank Sinatra's greatest hits coming on and knowing that the rest of your life Frank Sinatra exactly straight there there and it was just I. I know that it was too cold for me to take my the IPOD Out because it would have frozen immediately in the know would have been without any music so I think one one of the few people that have listened to an entire Frank Sinatra album while running a marathon. I don't know there's probably a few. But I had called o'brady Ian here sharing about his solo adventure across Antarctica pulling that sled and he was saying that he had to be very careful about how he expended himself like you have to create momentum to pull that sled but overexerted himself or went to hard and started to sweat like sweat his death. You can't sweat. So how do you run a marathon with all these layers on and avoid that death defying pitfall Ed fall. Yeah well you can't run very fast. That's for sure Iran. I think Iran 4:05 And it's it. There's no doubt about it. It's the delicate balance His situation was vastly different than mine. If I went into death zone than I just ran into the Galley and got some hot chocolate right. He didn't have that opportunity right but I but as soon as you start sweating it freezes immediately I it was fascinating and that's when I experienced the most lowes was during that marathon was taking my jacket off and there was actual Like snow. It's it's called Hor. Hoa Are Inside Your Your Jacket just all of this frozen moisture and Yeah it's not something that you want to to happen if you're if you're out there for multiple days or even like a a really long day. Yeah Yeah it's deadly. So what was the idea going anarchy. Like what were you trying to learn and and did you did that. Experience satisfy totally. It was two different things. I think that there is no place on earth. That's more like different planet than Antarctica So for me. It was like if I wanted to ever go to space. This was my opportunity to go to space And then the other part is is meeting and talking to all of the people there that were equally interested in going to this other planet has me. It's kind of funny. The everybody seems like everybody goes down there with a copy of Dune. And because and then when you get there arid feels very much like this desert like. It's the driest place on earth. It's ten thousand feet South Poles at ten thousand feet. It's pancake flat. There's like without the stations nations. Bury your like human beings can't exist. There's no life form at the South Pole with the exception of humans remember. We got our fruits and vegetables is in from New Zealand At one point and there is a lady bug and the lettuce and the lady bug went straight into a jar and it was the station. Pet for three months is incredible. Yeah and everybody visited the Lady Bug. That was down a little greenhouse But but it's just an interesting Assortment of people you get a lot of people like myself who are travelers and they want to visit the world. You get some some old crusty rusty Antarctica people that You know lifelong employees to the program and then you get a few blue collar people as well You know working working for the contract company back then was Raytheon back then it was Raytheon and now I don't know if this this is still current day but it's Halliburton now so what are they. Studying down there They're studying things very very big and very very small so so they're studying neutrinos. This is cube program And so this is A really amazing. A scientific experiment where they've drilled and eighty or so holes into the Ice Plateau and and put these little detectors dumbs into the ice that can actually detect when a neutron collides a neutrino collides with the nucleus of an atom and creates a small explosion. Oh and so that's That's the things that are really really small so these are they're actually capturing this explosion that neutral neutrino goes through the planet earth and then collides on the opposite side. So that's how small they are. Wow Yeah it's hard hard for me to really. I can't even understand with the phone. had like several different people. Dumb that down for me in a lot of different ways and that's yes. That's the best way that I understood that. And then they've also got some incredible Telescopes looking deep into outer space For dark matter and then It being the cleanest air supposedly the cleanest air on planet Earth The also study air quality. Noah's there With the station The stars at night had to be unbelievable. There is no when I was there. I was there for the summertime. I watched the sun revolve around I four months straight. Never Yeah I never saw fuck with you I had a room With no windows in it and I simply put it into my head that when I was going into my room it was nighttime. She'd stick to a schedule. Yeah Yeah Yeah Wow also. Don't they like drill these ice cores and pull them out and they're like time machines right because they literally there so layer the rings of a tree like you can go back in time. I am one hundred and seventy thousand years fire. You're going back when you're going that far deep into the ice and so you're looking you're looking at explosion Volcanic explosions explosions right. Yeah it's really incredible. One of the things I was reading about was with the the receding water levels in the melting of the ice caps is that it starts to expose like this Water and ultimately vapor from so long ago and they don't know what's in that like the viruses and bacteria that haven't been on earth for hundreds of thousands of years totally that could create strange sci fi movies. We yeah type situation. That's a trip though. Yeah so how do you now. You're you're married you're working on these books but your creature of wander the boss like once what's next and how do you satisfied that each and sit now. I'm still coming up with more projects. The project that I have right now that that I'm most excited about which is gonNA take me a couple years At least two years I'm calling the fifty classic trails of North America And and this is kind of purely up to me. This is sort of based off of a book from the Nineteen Seventies called the fifty classic climbing sense of North America and We're these two rock climbers went around Canada Mexico United States and found these just totally iconic connick Rock climbs some of which have only been done one time So for me. This is I want it to be a little bit more attainable to the general public public. But I do want it to be Something that is a runner can strive for so the the parameters for this are that I can tell somebody with confidence that this trail is worth travelling to and making A weekend or a week out of it Another parameter is that it needs to be done in in twenty four hours by the fastest runners or hikers. And I'm tentative about calling it a running specific book and then that it really covers all ecosystems So I'm not GonNa go through all fifty of them but just a few of them There's a couple of obvious ones the the rim to rim to rim in the Grand Canyon is is an in all time classic and needs to be included the loss coast in northern California Forty fifty mile Point to point run through the Most UN interrupted coastline in the lower. Forty Eight The one that I've done most recently up up in Alaska the chil Ku trail Going from skagway up into British Columbia which was used for a couple of years for The the the gold rush to get people into the Yukon but then they built a A railroad which which bypassed it but it's a thirty one eight thirty two mile or thirty four mile point to point run which goes from this incredible coastal jungle essentially Up into this high country intrigue than down into a much more air Canadian landscape So the idea is to kind of Of A few different. The things look at a bunch of different ecosystems provide people with Hopefully some inspiration to check out some new terrain Illuminate some some human history Ideally there's a bit of human history with each of these trails and And really they provide something I I call it running beyond the BIB providing people with inspiration to to do a trail. Well that's not necessarily a race and to give them a goal that isn't necessarily An F. K. T. or a record but you know something that That the can look at and and feel like they they can accomplish and this is a book that you're doing it'll be book I like ah like an like an art book like visual very vividly. Yeah so this'll be book website. And ideally one minute long per trail Little videos like Atlas Obscure Fir Tree. Yeah totally yeah. I gotta get that guy to to help illustrate solicitation going on like like. It's it's cool. I just I just what I really connect with about. What you're you're about is is just is the sharing part? You know like how you're taking this thing that you love and creating tactile objects and inspiring people to infuse their lives with the the things that have brought so much meaning to you. It's really cool. Yeah well thank you. Yeah it's I hope that it I hope that it reaches people out there. I know that it die. I constantly need The things in my life to evolve and I don't need to change those things it's necessarily Or like switch out running for Whatever skydiving or something but I do need for for for it to evolve To to help me with WHO I am today and you'll unbecoming tomorrow cool amount. I think that's a good place to and super amazing. Thank you for sharing today TRANSAMERICA coming to film festival near You and hopefully a digital platform perform at some point. I was very moved by you. Guys did an amazing job on that movie. So congratulations on that. I can't wait for people to see it and enjoy it. Think so much. What's the book? And then it'd be called. The book is going to be called cross country. It's being published by chronicle books out of San Francisco and that will also be out in April April cool and RICKIE GATES DOT com definitely go to his website. Like it's real. It's a cool experience to just get lost in all the content. There's very cool and you're easy to find on on social media amazing photographer as well so definitely subscribed year your instagram page. Erkki Gates. Well anything else That's about it. I hope to share the trails with with people hot run high bus run bus. I I love providing these experiences senses and sharing them with others so cool man. Yeah I WANNA go on one of those please do you and I have a mutual friend. Heidi soccer men. You know Heidi aspect totally. Oh my goodness. He was interested in In a hut run hut. And and I'm still working on. Oh Wow yeah well I want to go irrespective going. I would love to be able to join her at the same time. That would be really fun. She just left the museum and Aspen but did she did she go back to New York. I don't know where she's gone But I I think she's. I don't doubt that there's a little bit of finding herself right now. that's that's Must be very exciting. She was at the Aspen Art Museum for fourteen years. Long time created a really incredible Program their new building It's I can say this as a person that was born and raised in Aspen. That like her impact as changed the facing the town for the better in the in deeply cultural. Yeah she's a very cool person. So Hey Heidi sure you're listening. She might be listening anyway. cool man wall to be continued and again. I just want to extend an invite for you to come back and talk about the book when when that's coming out and maybe we can go around that time to awesome all right. Sounds great talking to you. Beautiful and awesome. Is that human being. I love that DOC I. I adore that conversation because enjoyed it. Please hit up ricky on the social and let him know directly what you thought of today's conversation he's at Ricky Gates On twitter and on instagram. And please be sure to check out the show notes on the episode page to learn more and please please preorder his book cross country at Ricky Rickie Gates Dot Com quick final reminder. Just a few days remain until January thirty first to take advantage of our special discount on the plant power meal planner twenty dollars ars off the annual one hundred dollar fee when you visit meals dot ritual dot com and enter Promo Code Power Twenty at checkout. If you'd like to support the work we do here on the show. Subscribe rate and comment on it on Apple. PODCASTS share the show on social media and with your friends subscribe to my Youtube Channel. Hit that subscribe button on spotify. Google podcasts wherever you listen to the program and you can support us on patriotic at rich role dot com for slash donate. I appreciate all the hard work that my team eighteen puts into putting on the show. Every Week Jason Kam Yellow for audio engineering production show notes in interstitial music. Blake Curtis Mark Levin for videoing and editing the visual full version of the program just Maranda for graphics Alli Rogers for portraits decay for advertiser relationships de Music. By an ALUMNA. Appreciate all you guys is. I don't take your attention for granted I am here. Only because of you guys so I'll see you back here next week with chef. Ileana Anna Regan. It's a beautiful conversation. I think he enjoy it. And I'll take you out with a clip until then peace plots. I'll stay that is what I do. And that's what I love to do and it's Expression of myself and I love cooking and You know but it's it's really more than that because I love. The storytelling of the cooking like gathering are ingredients and growing things. And that's a big part of where we're going doing with. Our property in the upper peninsula in Michigan is to make just feel a little bit more holistic. And I just I wanNA feel I guess better about it and I think that a lot of people look at like chef sin and my industry as being kind one of glamorous but it doesn't feel like that at least not for me not on a daily basis it uh.

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My Boy Can with Sassy Harvey

ON BOYS Podcast

42:48 min | 2 months ago

My Boy Can with Sassy Harvey

"This is on boys parenting podcast. We are your co host Jennifer L. W. Fink mom of four boys, and I'm Janet Alison teacher of many more. Thanks for joining us as we share real talk about parenting teaching and reaching tomorrow's men. Did you know that ninety three percent of kids don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. You may have one of those children like my niece who a only macaroni and cheese for about six of her formative years. Many kids Kinda fixate on one particular food and you are tearing your hair out dear listeners trying to make sure that they have a balanced diet. I will say from from the benefit of the years. My niece now is a grown woman and has two healthy kids so that Mac and cheese sustained her fut-. Our kids need more nutrition than we are able to give them in their regular diet. Which is why so many of US looked to vitamins to fill those gaps and so many of us myself included have been dissatisfied with what we find on the shelves. We recently connected with a new to US company called health and they have chewable vitamins for kids. That are non jammo, vegan dairy, free allergy, free gluten free nut free all of that, and they fill in the gaps in modern children's diets in a chewable vitamin that kids love my guys liked it in. My guys are kind of Picky Yup. Yeah. Yeah. So they've been kid tested by your guys by your nieces and nephews. This is a pediatrician approved super powered chewable vitamin. It was created by two dads that were tired of children's vitamins that. Cause more problems than they solve. So with these vitamins with high health, no that you're getting zero sugar and zero gummy junk and yet it tastes great. It's perfect for picky eaters we've worked with high a health and we have an exclusive offer for you if you go to Haya health and use the on boys code at checkout. Get fifty percent off your first order go to hire health H. I. Y. A. H.. E. A. L. T. H. DOT COM and enter boys to get that fifty percent off the discount will be applied at the checkout. So get full-body nourishment so that your boys can grow into healthy adults that's higher health dot com slash on voice. Do you have a son who maybe doesn't fit the mold maybe he likes pink maybe he prefers dolls maybe he'd rather be dancing than doing anything else. Challenging the gender stereotype is the passionate. Of Our return guests, Sassy Harvey last August we interviewed Sassy when she was just three weeks or so into her mission to change the conversation around boys and especially around Hashtag my boy can dance. We've invited her back to hear about the explosive growth of this very important movement. Welcome back. Sassy. Thank you. It sounds good to be back. You know we I listened back to our interview last year and you were just kind of at the beginning of this movement and making it up as you went along and I. We've watched your growth over this year I think maybe you didn't have. The idea was going to get as big as. To No I think. You saw more than me, but yeah, eight has been fantastic here. And so much has happened so much has changed. I. We get once you're. Discussing it once we go through it so much has happened and it's been fantastic. But yes, it's definitely grown a lot quicker than I anticipated. But in a very, very good way icon ever wish anymore this is been fantastic. With this into context a little bit, we had you on last year before the big. With the Prince and he took ballet and he was ridiculed by adults I'm National International TV. You're talking about this Ben. So there's that and you it was straight. So vividly for us, the power of a mom and of MOMS of boys you started this because you have a son and you want the world to be better for him and all other boys definitely and that as by driving highly it all stems from my son. So I pretty much the whole my boy can start. It's actually started eight through last year an Icepack to you guys as in the facebook page Dawson eight point and it was it was just it was just me a little mom kind of moaning really the mud facing negatively because he liked. bobbies he likes princesses and he he was doing by the time and people adult specifically felt they had had the right to make comments and it made me question myself as a parent. It made me question what we do for gender stereotypes and how enforced isn't and the impact that would have on my son and I really wanted that to change for him because I just didn't want him to fill that. He couldn't do something because he was a boy because society deems says, next hippies goes and it's ludicrous. Really the activities are just activities that just things that anybody can enjoy. But because society is as label things is gender. And if he goes against it, often people feel that they have a right to to make comment an and that can pass log negativities and stigmas that they end up facing I just don't want that for my son. and. Then the tip of you iceberg for me was the day he decided he didn't want to do ballet anymore. Because, he had been told that he's a go doing it and a gay and I just couldn't I just couldn't and. He was four. Yeah. So as I say that he was four years old. So this isn't he isn't like fourteen. He was four years old and so for him he stopped dancing because he was so upset because actually when we we again, we kind of reanalysed. Okay. When you look in the room when he was going to buy that he was any boy everything was very driven by the girls. The props it would being used for a very pink and girly with the Gallery Netease in that that balance. Again. It wasn't the necessarily Dansko. It was the parents at the time there wasn't a uniform but. It's lovely to see the little girls in little -tunities I as a parent myself I think are do exactly the same but for him he really wants he got that information of being told it's for girls. He wants he process that within that room. It felt like it really was so I kind of myself on a mission to change his mind. I'm what you've found was that there were other boy dancers at other dance studios in Smith. UK and yet there is like one here to over there and so your mission began I think part of it was just to bring those voices together you. Photo, shoot did that happen? Yeah. Yes. So we did we did this amazing fantasy. It's Oh so much. So basically, I put it out there in my city which hometown import Smith because Zach, Cuba I want to see how many boys dancing and back then I thought it was about twenty one hundred people he's came forward saying just they were just the people that came forward to say they want to take up and we say to graft fifty full boys in total. We just had to set a date in high people could come. And it was the images spectacular and yeah. On Our facebook page we've we featured the the images anyway. But what we really got from it was that coming together because we invited everybody at the same time, they didn't have time slots everybody turns up at the exact same time and kind of waited their turn. But while they were waiting the families and the boys themselves got to know each other and what was great was this was an age range three to twenty one. It was a huge range of. So their stories and just them hearing that they will come from different dogs goes in some of them had seen each other at competitions and things that. The discussions just naturally happening community spirit just naturally grew in between us. We all became a really nice community of people when we realized the power of us will come together and just hearing the actually rule facing similar issue and we wanted to kind of face that a little bit head on. So it was fantastic. Magic Oh. Yeah. The power of coming together and the power for kids to see other kids doing what they're doing and I three year old boy to be able to see a twenty one year old man who is still dancing. He can see that future for himself when he's alone in dance class with a bunch of little girls wearing Tutus he can't see that. Yet. And I think this is what happened. It was so funny I'm such a crew mom my son came along the the face sheets and he asked to take part and I said no, and it sounds so crew I said to him no because these dogs is they tend up in their complete dance gear. They looked phenomenon Oh and and I just taunts anymore and it was really crew I mean. But actually the photographer did end up taking snaps of him while he was like messing around in the background, but I'm to ease included in it but I, I just wanted to kind of release rate to him that this was the project four dances and reading spy him to be like actually this is something I want to de. It worked because then he went back to it so. Yeah. It was the end of the year and what was lovely what we decided to do with? Fatos. I didn't want it to just speak the Fatos let's just put them out on facebook. Can things I asked the boys to come together for and we invited some of the boys that took part in the face sheet to perform. So we ended up having evening of all the parents and whoever they want to invite and the boys who took part in the face sheet all came. And so I think it was a hundred and sixty five people came to we had like a mini auditorium in school and they put the seats out and so all the people were there together and then we did like a projection slide show on the back of the screen inbetween because we had it was such a big project. We had five photography's because it was who free as well. So these are people that volunteer at times we had five talkies on their time. To do this, we went to five different locations around Portsmouth our hometown just so that it was different and to showcase that this is well as these boys with live within the city. So, between each retailer, she yet each photography's slide shy. We invited a couple of the voice to perform, and again it was lovely because it was a wide range of as wide range of ages. Some agreed somewhat some asylum is and just really became like a huge celebration of the boys that. Time to really set like the beginning of my boy can because once we did that that's when we realized this. This needs to carry on. This can't just be a one of projects. This has to be a continuation. I want to address your. I'm a bad mom thing per incident. Not even close. As parents let's face it. Manipulation is a tool that we all use all. There is a huge difference between manipulating or arranging things to get your son to do something that you want him to do that. He's not interested and we've all seen that play out in our societies. Right? You know a parent who expects their son to be the football player in the kid who has no interest whatsoever what you're talking about is you saw son who lit up at something was interested in it and that dimmed due to all of these societal pressures. Yeah and you manage to create this whole environment. To, show him. It's okay and you created a safe space for him to re-engage that into rediscover in that. That's amazing Esi same key. Yeah. I do I detail agreed with that and I do I'm very, very proud of the fact that I was on managed to do that for him but also that he continues to be the drive the I need daily because everything I, end up doing always always end up throwing in front of him just to make sure that is relevant. Wonder his opinions on things everything that we're doing. Now we've started interviewing. My dances through facebook page and things and I always ask him anything you would ask is a five zero talk. What would you want to hear just that we may control the conversation is is things that would engage with our view is our followers. So the the boys are continue to be inspired not just my somber, all the boys that that have engaged with the page thing it's reading pulls. Him and I love I popped into a couple of your interviews in the last few days and I really encourage listeners. If you have a son who's interested in dance in any way, make sure that they are hearing these interviews because you are speaking directly to the boys, boys and young men and one of the voice was differently abled. So you had a conversation with him and then there was the. Younger man who is at Disney dancer for Disney and yet the mom was there the MOMS or with their kids. So it's not just voice on the interview but the MOM was saying Disney wouldn't have all these productions. They wouldn't have the street parade and all the dances and everything if there weren't male dancers and I think, we think you know we were not making that arc from the little four year. Olds in his short, yet he shared the studio to Hey, we've got you know amazing ballet dancers like somebody has to hold up the women and spin them around on the stage and somebody has to be doing the performances stilt walking in all the whatever happens in the Disney parades, and there has to be a culture that inspires and is training and educating and nurturing these boys to become these young men. That we need. Yeah. Yeah, one hundred percent and I. think that Sam I mean I interviewed some balances today from Matthew Barnes New Adventures, and they were saying that. It took a long not longtime political wall for their families and friends who To realize that they would take seriously and that sounds really odd that the minute that people realized that they were good at it and there were getting somewhere there was going to be opportunities is when over sudden the attitude changed that's the bit that we need to work on. Because at the moment the asked you is at the age of when their child that young you know. It's just it's just a phase. It's just something they might enjoy but yet it's I don't know there's still that discussion to be had to keep say keep inspiring them because once they get to that this is probably a teenage once people start realizing that actually there is a career in it and this person will be going to go for that negative not in the stigma that they faced change slightly so they can actually. Read, the hunter percents support that they needed. So yeah, I think we're going to have to keep challenging not. Is. There is happening in the change is definitely happening. It's just this is where we all can help and do our part by supporting organizations efforts in our own home communities that do provide homes and opportunities for boys who are interested in theater in dance in singing school productions are so valuable for kids that this is their thing. It gives them a chance to hone those skills to connect with the other kids to have a place where it's safe Jan Sassy I happen to know a young person who has been a dancer at Disney from my very small four, thousand, five thousand people now you guys in rural. Wisconsin An Hartley that's because he after high school while while in high school, he became involved with a program here. Called kids from Wisconsin that my son was also eventually but it's basically a singing dancing troupe of kids age like fifteen to twenty one it gives them opportunity and I can't give them a lot of money. They are definitely struggling this summer as are so many other things I mean due to a virus lake performance opportunities or not what they were. Yet these these things need our support because you're right Janet like dancers don't spring forth, fully formed and talented at age eighteen or twenty, exactly yeah yeah. So tell us about. So you're doing these interviews with dancers. You're also yeah having a dancer. Being Workshop leaders? Yes. So we've got. Sued basically at the beginning of the year we decided like I said, we did the photo shoot and we boom everybody together and when we when we spoke to everybody, they wanted it to carry on. So very is sauce to liaise with a liquidator and we basically. We use studio and we were already doing de launched workshops with the boys within Portsmouth's where we were inviting male dancers from the industry to come into the space, and it would be a whole day of workshop. So we started in February. And we had off every year. We had the first one in February and we had three. Performance from within the industry. So one was from West End one was the St. John's one was a contemporary recall and the room male dancers we made sure all three of them are different genres and they spent the whole day with us who these boys. And they just weren't shocked and it was great and it was great fun. But I also got to do QNA with these men just be really inspired and we plan to do that for the rest of the year but obviously the pandemic other ideas so. G to the is in the spaces and everything being close. We decided that I mean everything's binding and to be fair think majority of it's going to be persuaded into exchange, which is very unfortunate but we decided to start working on getting a these activities happening online so. This month we launch them online workshops and the beauty of the online workshops is it reaches more than just within Portsmouth. Amines Renton area. It means that we are actually able to reach anybody that wants to take part and. On on online, we can facebook page. We have many follow which from abroad acquired few from USA. So timings and things means that everybody around the world can kind of participate, which has been lovely. Absolutely lovely to say. So yes, we're carrying on with that for the next two months and we say we just get we invite lots of different genres of dance lots of different. Male professionals. And it's not just dancing. We've also got Mayo's makeup artists and people that are doing a drag workshops like dry complex shops and things anybody. It's just anything really where boys might might want to have a try but a bit worried I'm online. So people can have that safe space and then they also get to go into a zine meeting. and. They get to see like minded boys and it's lovely. When you see with the points faces pop up on the screen, you can just see it does fill them with that kind of. UNFORGIVENESS that leads us and You can just see kind of it reignites that passion of being like, Oh, I'm not the one this is great and and then they have fun doing the workshop and they're at home. So they're nice and safe and yeah and it's Bin. Laden. Say Talk about the logistics of this. So how do I get my boy involved? Do I? Do I have to register or what technology. Yet, no you have to date you guys straight to our website, which is ww dot. My boy can dot co dot UK forward slash take part and A. If you just go to the website, click on the tape part and then you just register I'm we've got a smoothie so we do pay them to keep their yep because obviously all the shows of stops. While we're guessing these men. We can show that getting a wage apart from that. Yeah. I'm not saying that it's only it's to palm fifty. So it's not a couple of a couple of dollars. It's not it's not extortionate. It's just lovely and they get forty five minutes in zoom meeting. To be ferried probably. Familiar will be honest. They get five minutes of dancing. But then yet as the opportunity is while that, they can speak to speak to the man He's he's teaching and like I say it's lots of different genres. We've got ballet this weekend jazz like adjust Fossey in the weeks, and then we got street dance at the end of the month. Yeah and next month we're looking at Liverpool and then like you say, we still got the the makeup running alongside that. So we've got the drag look. We've got the every day kind of of Contour I. Swear. Parents. These boys is so good and then I this is what I mean is is really gone crazy and then on top of that. We do the might we can chat which is live on facebook and we do down on Monday Wednesday and Friday, and that's what John was saying where we invited people along which they ranged from all different. We've had moms and sons come on with all different discussions and the topics are just anything to discuss about boys facing facing Saturn stigmas and how we kind of. Overcome that but just talking to pete real people within the wild and just finding out their experience, and then some some people who've come out from within the industry to say they have experienced. But actually this is managed to go through and get to the other side and where they are now and it's inspirational. It's been like a spin spin. Amazing. Actually, it's been quite an opportunity. And you can really just so amplified it and at you know it's the need was there and you stepped into it with. A thousand percent excitement and drive and it's just been. It's lovely to see where it's gone. I'm curious if there is someone who stands out for you over this last year, maybe their story. That's really inspired you. Oh. That's a really good one actually. The leaves me on. Very nicely. There are a couple of young boys who have been with us since the fatal she and they were the very first boys the I man I think that always hold us special kind of place in my heart just because they were the first ones that I met physically outside if the projects and they were at the face Asian and I have to explain the very first issue we did it was pouring with. We had it was it was lovely. Went through week and not day the. The Heavens are you pinned and we would there with their families and all of us turned up his ten am and it was absolutely hammering it down and we had we doing tissues outside, and so we all huddled and we'd never met each other before all huddled in this really small like shelter. Trying Theron. Knowing in environment everybody kind of had to go out in ones and twos, and the boys were in the Leotards, shorts and ballet slippers and you think this is this is this is an experience itself. And the boys that did that a, there's some teenage boys and they stayed with us the whole it was It was ten am to one PM and they stayed with us the whole time because we ask because there were a bit older if they would mind grouping together because there was a couple of them I'm doing if I to shoot we just used three and taking some images of just them and they did and it was such troopers but at the end of it, no matter how what and solder and all of us were the best bit for me was just hearing them say. That we should treaty amazing and they just loved it. and. They have actually become associates. Now in the program, we have like an associate program may have they've they've stayed with us. and. For. Me Food with them they've been so honest and so They've just. They've they faced billion and they still face billion date. They are teenage boys. They are in a senior school a thing that's high school is. So, yeah and They do face negative potato and they get teased a lot for having to wear tights and tease the just the just misunderstood a lot and. Yet that attitude and their positivity and this the amount of energy they RADII is seen as soon as you see them and you speak to them, Don's is their life and everything they do is just they love it and you can't help but. Like suck the energy yourself because you just get drawn to wear. And for me that that is what's so important is the fact that they started resilient to all this negativity and so opening about open about it as well that quite happy to talk about it because they really believe in Danzig that really believed that boys can't do anything and they really really want to make sure that no other boys go through this so. That really passionate about delivering that message and so for me I think they they completely how how make and the great thing is because they're say ships now we meet up with him once a month. So get to hear what they need from us and what kind of extra support they might require say yeah think. Yeah it's it's it's when you meet real people I think. There is no impact pervasive stereotype in our society that boys won't talk boys won't share their thoughts emotions feelings. And, you know. there. There's some truth to that. Of course not all boys WanNa talk about you know their deepest emotions but I think there's so much. Boys don't talk because we haven't created space for them to talk because we've communicated we don't care or this isn't okay to talk about. In doing this, you have made room and said I really care. I really care about what's going on with you. Can you me what's going on with you and they're talking and they're sharing and I think that our boys are hungry for that? Would you agree has that been your experience? Yes no one hundred percent and it's I totally agreed I think often boys aren't given US base and I do think there are there are two cheats that. I think it's a generational thing. The hate saying that by D. think is a bit of a generational thing where they don't. We don't necessarily approach the voice to ask how they're feeling or go through those nations and communicate and I think that's something that we're learning to do more is that need to open and communicate and to three things. But I do think yet cortex like mine there's definitely other products out there. As, soon, as you give the platform kind of them to kind of dictated and for them to be able to share with what they're going through and things like that. That is like a kind of worms over sudden they just they do. They have so much. They have to say and they want to help and they do I do think it's being given like that space which I don't think I don't think we do enough at the moment I do think that is changing. The thing. Is I think This is again it's so important for me within my boy can. Even, for ourselves, we have been utilized enough giving back the tools the boys need. So I'm from going forward assumes we're allowed to. Have the workshops with people in actually inlets and the UCLA IN One of the important things for us is looking at having like a forty forty five minutes of looking at mental health and wellbeing, and just kind of building the resilience for the boys so that they find tools because I east life is life to come across negative take people who always challenge people people always have opinions are going to contradict what you think. And I think that's okay. But I think it's being given the right tools to be able to to support you in getting yourself through and I think that's what's really important and I think that's what a lot of boys don't have at the moment are dating. They know how to navigate through negatively I think internalized it and I think they become quite angry. I think that's the bits that we just need to tap into a little bit more so that they have outlet they know they know they can. They can still have feelings and emotions and they can still get angry and that's fine. But finding a more positive way for them to go through it rather than. Internalize it. That is so powerful. Oh my gosh I just have chills. Powerful sound she because it's not only not only supporting them for their passion and what they love, but giving them the tools to. Counteract bullying for themselves and to. Protect their their brothers as well and speak up for maybe a younger dancer who can't yet speak up for themselves. So this is just powerful powerful work of. ANYTHING STARTS WITH DANCE. But of course, it's bigger than that. You know as you said, yeah building tools to cope with setbacks and challenges. Resiliency. That is life skill that we all need something that I am still working on at forty, whatever I am now seven or eight. So the sooner we can help build those skills in our boys better equipped. To. Deal with everything moving ahead whether it's being bullied for dance or a break up or they didn't get a part they wanted they didn't get the job they want it. Yeah, I tell you I take the agree with that, and it is one of those things. I. Think later in life the get you we kind of seek that ourselves and we we find ways to be resilient and you kind of learn that with age but I do think if we did this all young people now. We find that they would just be a little bit more stable in themselves and I mean, we can't hide the facts and this is where I really resonates. Movie can't hide the fact that suicide is the biggest killer of men. And and fair boys and young people. Then the not talking as much like this stool of work that needs to be done in order to just kind of the attitudes and open more people to realize that they can reach out and they can communicate and I think it's it's definitely becoming passion of Mine I. Think it's it's something we really have to keep working towards doing. Too Yeah. I are both sitting here. Is Our kind of. Our minds ripping open because we. Appreciate the work that you're doing and it resonates with us and. We're kind of speechless and angrily over you right now. Thank you. Eight for me. It's just amazing like I say that it was just on a on a one night I just got the whim to stop my main on facebook but under the small boy can umbrella and now yeah, just how much it's it's growing and obviously it hasn't been a year is really reignited to me what's important and what I want to achieve, and just the direction of the cause is now officially a company, it's just it's now become is life. This is my job. So. Yeah. Everything team me but I D I believe in all and. Like you said at the beginning, I think the real importance for me is this is on paving the way for my own son. So this isn't just the it's very past not me because I. AM. Going through this journey myself. and to any parents of any boys, any stories I hit any experiences they've had anything like I really do take take that in myself because I'm I'm on this thing journey I'm learning myself. So any tips I can get along the way or anything I can help put in place not just for me but for other is is I think just as important and I think that's what we have to remember. We are on the same journey but sometimes, we just need a helping hand with each other. Absolutely. I look forward to checking in a year from now I this is a regular just imagine what you will have accomplished and achieved and the lives that you will have changed in the year to come while it's things you are on the you're just on the path of. Emission to. Challenge the mainstream challenge, the stereotypes, and this is how change happens from the ground up for from passionate mom who wants to do it for her boy and then has the bigger vision that and the bigger heart and willingness to just jump into territory unknown and just being like let's try photo shoot. Let's reach. Oh my goodness. Yes. I want to help you. You know if people give our listeners are inspired by what you're doing and they want to support your work how can they do that yet? Take Them I mean I would come to my I say show media. So we on facebook and we are on Instagram at my boy can. So just type in join the conversation join just join follow and join the discussion within the facebook page we have. That she greets, we've got a Mike we can dance group, which is a group of parents and teachers and boys that do Johnson though the discussions kind of tends to be bombed dance, and then we go on my we can group which is more tailored to always that I'm just do activities that are deemed guy. So a lot of is actually boys that like to dress up in princess dresses or boys that liked to play with does Zimbabwe's And we kind of support each other within that. And we have discussions again. If if the face negatively, it tends to be the parents who come on and say what the we've we've had this is anybody had this how'd we had? We deal with it I'm just hearing how boys are or even celebrating in. Is just to being a like minded community sometimes that you know you're not the only person and this is normal and. Your child is actually be fine and just let them be he. They want to be and sometimes you just need reassurance from other parents to know that that is the case. Yes. Oh. Definitely the way we do have a website if you want to take part in any of the events. Then do go to our website to book but otherwise everything is on our social media pages and that is the best way to communicate with us, and you'll see me there quite frequently at the moment during my my my boy can chat I. Don't know if you can fully appreciate it. I know you can feel it because Sassy has this energy and enthusiasm and love that comes through. And it's there. It's present in your chats with the boys I. Mean This is why we love talking to you too. Thank you. I'm really curious Walmart Question Yeah. Of course, you are talking to the boys. What you thought might be on their minds. What have you learned that has maybe surprised you in actually engaging the boys in conversation about what's on their minds and what they need from us being parents and society. Yeah. I think what surprises me most is the Is that kind of is the resilient side. I I'm I think it's a parent thing. I'm so petrified of mine song going through negative. because. I get really worried. They is going to have the most negative impacts on him and his personality and I get really scared about that and I think that's a permanent thing. But actually when you hear the boys and even though they have faced negative see when you hear that they their passion for what they do they still driven by it, they still love everything about it. And they got such a a a I just this outlook on life where and it again, it's a generational thing. They are completely in a different generation but listening to them. It really fills me with hype and inspiration my south as a parent to think it's okay. Actually, they're going to be a k the USA row. K. That probably a bit stronger than us in their mindset sometimes because they're just so it doesn't even matter and you think like goodness, can you hear yourself because it's really liberating to hear that? So I think that's what I've learned and taking away from it. So we kind of it makes me. Less worried about my own son and just. Starting to enjoy the journey rob them worry about the journey and I think that's that's the that's will take him from it. I'm starting to see that it will. He'll be okay he'll Ale. Has To go through this and he will get to the site and he'll be fine Yeah. It's just one of those things I think that's that. So yeah, I think that's That's what I really really is a it's inspiring in itself just just listening to the boys is inspiring in itself. So let's hope and I love what you said. You know enjoy the journey don't worry about the journey. Yeah. And that's a good easy short mon to keep in mind because as a parent myself, my brain can go into freak out mode very very quickly and I I wrote this down. As Labour, talking enjoy the journey and I guarantee I'm going to have to remind myself of that at least three times today. Is that appear. The journey when you start feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath holdback enjoy the journey. Yep exactly that exactly and that's the that's the great thing. The boys are enjoying their journey as well, and even on the office times they are taking so much out to bet. And once like say once she speak to them. They they've learned lessons and they're like twelve years old sometimes they can teach us things. You Think, Oh, my goodness I. Didn't learn that until I was thirty five. How are you saying this at the age of twelve? But that yeah that just intrusive and they just know so yeah, it's a great. It's a great johnny. Thank you for creating the the journey making this road for so so many boys so many families so that they can so that they can whatever they wanna do they actually exactly I'm GonNa put it in but we have to we have to keep spreading that message of of stopping people from saying a boycott or shouldn't do something because they are Mayo. Actually a boy can do anything and still be a boy. It does not determined. Anything suggests we need to we need to keep pushing that. Um, for our son's just to keep saying that they can you can do anything anything. It's Oh Bravo. Thank you so much Sassy. Thank you. Thanks for having me I. Call Them to come back next year and see where. He's like my it's like my my wave reminiscent and seeing how far how much we've done as well. It's great yeah. We're looking forward to that and we look forward to seeing what unfolds this year. Thanks for joining on boys real talk about parenting teaching and reaching tomorrow's men. Now.

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