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Mental Models for Finding Balance
"What does it mean when we say balance we use this term? When we're talking about our work we use it when we're talking about our political views. We use it when we're talking about how we judge other people. We use the term when we talk about how we should treat other people and we certainly use it when we talk about decision making but what exactly is balanced and who decides win. Something is in a good balance or if it's unbalanced in today's episode we're GonNa talk about two models of thinking that can help us understand some nuances about balance. My Name is Jonathan Cottrell listening to developer tea and my goal on the show is to help. Driven developers like you find clarity perspective and purpose in their careers. And here's the reality balance most of the time when we use that word. What we mean is something acceptable. Something that feels peaceful for example when we use it in the frame of work life balance or something that we generally agree is fair. When we're talking about the justice system and defining that balance is a dynamic problem that doesn't have a singular solution for example balancing a workload. What's GONNA look different for different people? Based on their capacity maybe based on what kind of what phase of life therein and so balance has no singular representation. It is like most things relative to your context but there are different ways that we achieve balance. You can edge. I imagine someone balancing on tight rope the idea being that any misstep will throw them out of balance and that once the tight rope walker is out of balance. There is no recovering because they've fallen another mental image. You can bring up. Is that of a scale where you way down. One side and try weigh down the other one in equal proportion many times when we think about balance as it relates to our personal lives. The picture that comes up is more like a calendar. And if you're to scan across that calendar the places where you're spending time if they are heavily weighted in one area. You may feel unbalanced but I wanNA to talk about two models of balance that come from the hard sciences specifically i WanNa talk about thermodynamic balance or inter pellets and chemical balance first. Let's talk about thermodynamic balanced for a minute. Thermodynamic balance is the balance of essentially temperature and temperature is a measure of energy higher amounts of heat means there's more energy and lower amounts of heat means there's less energy and generally speaking when you put something that has high energy near something that has low energy they will interact. They're not going to stay separate from each other but instead it was that kind of system if you were to say create a vacuum in have a one area of the vacuum half of the vacuum high energy and the other half of the vacuum as low energy those two fields of particles whatever they are air or water or whatever will tend to move towards some equilibrium. It's important to note that another law of thermodynamics is that no energy is lost or created in a given system so this is all theoretical if you had something that had let's say one hundred units of energy and something that had fifty units of energy and they were in equal proportion to each other than you would end up with seventy five units of energy on average across that whole field technically the law of thermodynamics. That were referencing. Here is that things will tend to move towards An absolute zero which essentially means that. There's no difference. There's no potential energy in the system available. So why are we talking about this law of thermodynamics him? What does it have to do with your kind of sense of balance as a person or in your work where? There's a lot of ways that we can apply this concept to our lives applying this model of thinking to our lives when you are feeling a sense of tension when you feel what you would label as unbalanced. It's very likely that you have this kind of juxtaposition where you are holding too much energy and we will use that term kind of loosely. Right now where you're doing too much for example and the equilibrium that you need to find is by doing less. This is an oversimplified example because in most systems balance or equilibrium is not found between two competing forces. We don't live in a vacuum where you have only to can fields that are trying to find equilibrium. We live in a much more complex environment with new variables being introduced every day. We'll give you a very simple example of this before I was married before I had children. I had more available energy to put towards working when I say working. I mean learning doing things on the side of the extra energy that I now and putting towards my relationships with my family the seems like an obvious example but what this means is that balance has a different definition for me now balance means something different than it used to and this isn't always purely on an individual level. Sometimes balance is a shared concept in a given culture are giving context we do have some shared limits as humans but we also have shared culture that changes our personal definitions our personal perceptions of what it means to work with balance now most of the time when we talk about balance as it relates to our work. We're talking about. What proportion of our time are we spending on work? And the modifier that we use Let's say as as a Employer is we provide time off. We provide holidays. That's one of the benefits that an employer might provide but sometimes sometimes the amount of time off has nothing to do with the balance at all.
How Do I Find the Courage to Be My Own Guide?
"Let's get to the letter I'm gonNA reach to you. Do your sugars a thirty four year old woman and I'm recently coming to terms with the fact that I spent my life being too afraid to do what I WANNA do time after time. I've let social norms guide me where I've looked others for their opinions about my next step my purpose while I've learned a lot from many teachers writers philosophers and therapists. It seems crucial at this point. I learned how to listen to my own heart and be brave enough to follow it. I WANNA be my own guide. It may seem ironic then for me to be asking for your advice. But I'm not asking you to tell me what I should be doing. It's how how do I learn to trust myself the way I did when I was a kid before I decided that other people knew better than me and gave them all the power. How do I learn to recognize my heart's voice and stand up for what it wants? How do I avoid falling back into that safe prison of what someone else thinks? I should but not what I truly want to do. Emily Dickinson wrote the heart. Wants what it wants or else it does not care. I know this to be true and I don't WanNa find myself back in a job or relationship or pursuit. My heart doesn't care about. How do I tend to my heart and keep it bay? The people the thoughts the fears that threaten this fledgling relationship between my heart and me sincerely hardward bound powerful interesting Have you asked yourself these questions when I first read it? I thought about our very first episode. And you know you're saying you're saying well. What what. What sort of been guiding precept in thinking about these questions of how you kind of get actualized and start building a life that feels more authentic. And what you. WanNa be doing on earth. Because you don't have a long time and I feel like we gotta as quickly as we can get to the things that really are meaningful to us and I thought about that. John Prion lyric that. I told you so many years ago. Your heart gets bored with your mind. And it changes you and heart bound is describing that my heart is bored with my mind But it's something even more than that in this case it's the there are other people and other voices. They're getting in the way of what she wants to do to whom she is been obedient and finds herself being obedient. So Hartford bound. You know when I read your letter there these questions that are kind of big abstract questions and I'm going to ask you to be more concrete about them on read back a couple to you. How do I learn to trust myself the way I did? I was a kid before I decided that other people knew better than me and gave them all the power. So my question to you is what other people. And how did you give them power? And how are you in your life? Giving them power you write how to avoid falling back into that safe prison. I love that safe prison of doing what someone else thinks I should do. Who are these someone else's you have to be specific about who they are and how to try to counteract them actively and specifically and there's only one way to really genuinely counteract them and that is to decide that they are not the voices who will determine what you do with your life at this point where you're at heart bound you're still bound up actually in those other voices in those other. People are those social conventions the fact that you wrote this letter. It's an indication that you're stepping away from that. And so you ask how do how do you learn how to trust yourself and the first thing I wanna say is that this is not something you learn one time. Do One time right. It's something that you do every day over and over again for years and years and years and the meaning of life that you put into action looks different at different times but it's always returning to the idea that you really need to trust yourself and I'll say that for me. I love this phrase brave enough I mean aside for the fact that actually a title one of my books. I love that you used this phrase. I need to learn how to listen to my heart and be brave enough to follow it and the way you do that as you just get brave enough not to have some big glorious life that you just cast off all conventions and other voices but you're brave enough to make one step in the direction that you WanNa go and that is for you. Heart rebound. I actually think it's your writing us this ladder that you've even popped your head above that sort of surfaced a enough to say you know what. I'M NOT GONNA listen to all these people anymore. I need to trust myself. That's the first step in my life. You know in really practical terms in every arena. I've had to do this as most. I'm sure Steve. You've done as well. Were you have to say this would be the thing that would be like the conventional the norm the thing that would be easier for other people around me and and some waste for myself to do? I mean any writer sample. We stepped into this profession knowing that it was probably a bad idea because you know most people need a career because they need to pay their bills right and the minute you decide to be a writer or an artist of any sort. You're you're you're saying okay. I'm going to take this risk and I'm not gonNA listen to the voices of reason and and security and all that stuff. I'm going to walk this. Paf heart bound. You mentioned relationships too. You know we're supposed to make nice. Were supposed to be in relationships. Please people around us. Sometimes you have to step off that path. You adopt a position in relation to all the people who love you that disappoints those people in your case. You're like keep thinking about you have to go off and do something that's crazy. Yeah and it's not just the going the idea of having going off and hiking the trail and it's not the inspiration the realization. The moment you say I'm leading lights. That doesn't feel real enough to me. It's the perspiration of at every point where it seems impossible and doomed battle through it. The backpack is ridiculous. You brought all this stuff along. Your feet are bloody your reason wild resonated with so many people because at every point you ran up against the real hard work of making an a difficult inconvenient decision. I would also say that within this letter this idea of how do I get back to a childlike state? A state where I trust myself and instinctual state and what I say oftentimes to writing students and try to say to say it to myself is look. Consciousness is by nature obsessive children. Come into the world obsessed that is they care about things too much and what happens with obsession. Is that socialized. We beat down the voices that care about things too much in that feel too much and part of the artist's journey. I guess is to say screw that I do care about it too much. I am to invest in. I'm obsessed with it and I'm going to be honest about obsession rather than trying to lead a safer more. Conventional approved life but it's an emotionally and psychologically inconvenient arrangement because you feel more and you face certain things about yourself that bring you away from arrangements that are there and especially in our culture to kind of keep you insulated from deep feeling. Yeah but you know. I love that you singled out this this phrase because I thought the same thing I I want to trust myself the way I did when I was a kid and you know kids will sometimes be at play and they will say these absurd things and create these sort of outlandish scenarios imaginative play worlds. Don't make sense to the people around them. They absolutely make sense to them. I remember you know like my son. One time you know he just. He found a deck of cards in a room and sort of far off room in the house and one by one he. He took one card at a time and ran to the other end of the house until he had stacked them at the end of the House and he was so determined it made sense to him in the only person. It didn't seem crazy to him. Yeah because he was so engaged in doing and you know when you said Al Gough. Maybe you have to go off and do something crazy what I think about that is. It doesn't matter if what if what you're doing seems crazy to other people right to you. It's right and that's how my hike was you know. Never did I feel so right then when I went off and did something that many others perceived as crazy that can like I agree you. That can be a very hard life when you first step off the path but I think the harder life is never stepping off the path while always to do
Shed to Shred!
"Last night while I was coming my here there was some shedding but in addition to that there was a lot of new growth. That's what inspired today's podcast. Today's Daily Huddle in order for new growth to take place. There has to be some shedding some letting go of some getting rid of whether it be intentional or unintentional intentional shedding is best because you are actively in pursuit of growth. The unintentional avoiding shedding. Well sometimes it comes at a cost at a price. It might cost some hurt. Some tears a little bit of pain but when we pursue shedding letting go of growth opening ourselves to new and improved things. The process of transformation begins to take shape. I'll give you a quick example on Mother's Day some of my family as I ask them what they thought about. The podcast gave some very interesting criticism. I would say but in a good way healthy anything that helps you grow. Was they said it seems like you have an alter ego. I chewed on it and I said what do you mean my first response not offended at all but I really wanted to dig into the minds of my family. The people who believe they know me. But I've also seen evolution over the years and they said because you're so calm you talk so soothingly and I thought that was true but it's not an alter ego see if you knew me personally. You know that. Sometimes I'm loud boisterous. I laugh out. I have a high capacity tone. Sometimes this is what my family knows of me over the years. But with the podcast there was some shedding that took place in his. Just now for the podcasts at actually took place beforehand. I've always known tone in delivery was important but especially being married. What you say how you say it is something. My husband has always told me is very important to him. Having children the importance of how I say things become even more important. In so over the time of my development some shedding has been taking place in my delivery how I come across with my words and as a result of that the delivery comes across in my podcast and so whatever it is you need to shit whether it be perspectives relationships pounds. Even that's a great example in order to shred you must shed. Everyone knows that that doesn't just disappear. It can be transformed into something else muscle but in order to shred you must shed so let that thing go. That's getting in the way of your growth. That's getting in the way of your transformation. There's new opportunity waiting for you. There's new clarity opportunity. There's a new relationship waiting for your shedding to occur. Don't get in a way of it. It's growth is beautiful. It's an evolution of WHO and what you can become
When should you schedule meetings?
"This is Laura. Welcome to the before breakfast podcast. Today's tip is about wind to schedule meetings. That you know won't be particularly pleasant. You know they have to happen but you also want to have them consume more mental space than necessary. This topic was suggested by before breakfast listener. Who wrote in that? My most productive time like most people's is in the morning after breakfast. She wanted to preserve that time for focused work and so her inclination was to schedule most meetings for the afternoon. The problem if she knew the meeting would be rather intense. She found herself thinking about it all day. She wondered if it might make sense to just get it over with but if I schedule meetings in the mornings I worry that I'm spending my most productive time in meetings. It was quite a quandary. In general her inclination toward afternoon was sound. People tend to show up at meetings that are on their calendars even if they're tired but they won't do their best focused work on big projects at two thirty pm so it's important to consider the opportunity cost if you schedule a meeting at ten. Am PEOPLE MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY SHARPER. But they may not make progress on their bigger projects. If the meeting happens at two PM on the other hand they'll be able to do both so my suggestion was to continue stacking the meetings in the afternoon but she could do a few things to minimize the mental cost. I she should make sure that there was plenty of prep time built in during this. Prep time she could rehearse anything that might go awry in the meetings and the prep time could also provide a pallet cleanser between individual and collaborative work. Second since she knew the meetings would be intense. She should put them as late as possible so that when she was done she could just stop so maybe she could prep it to schedule meetings at three. Three thirty and four or three three forty four twenty or whatever. The time required then in normal times. Go home and social distancing times log out of zoom and the wine and finally if the knowledge that meetings are coming up distracted her maybe she could just set an alarm for fifteen minutes before her. Prep time so she wouldn't need to think about it or even
"Most of us get sad depressed when things get tough and it's considered a normal reaction today. We're going to talk about what's considered the abnormal response to life's problems. What my first guess calls Super Joy in fact? That's the title of Doctor. Paul Pierce Cells Book. It's called Super Joy. He says it. Modern psychology has really done us a disservice by encouraging us to adapt and handle stress to work hard. Achieve our goals. What's missing he says is our ability to experience just plain unadulterated joy about life. My next guest has what has to be one of the simplest outlooks on life that any grown man could have book is called. All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten. Robert Fulcrum says all this talk about the examined. Life and self actualization might be fine for some folks but all he really needs to know he learned in kindergarten. My next guest put the lessons. He's learned about getting the most out of life. Call the power in you. We know him from his famous Amos chocolate chip cookies and now while Amos reveals the personal struggles that he's endured and the attitudes it helped him find inner strength. Welcome my guests take each book at a time? One two three three six. And then we'll all talk okay sure First of all super joy is about us not being able to or adjusting to stress in a way that we should rather than doing what psychologists have told us over. The years is normal working with patients for seventeen years. We learned something very early. That psychology and psychiatry has focused on the sick or the absence of symptoms. It hasn't focused on those people who celebrated every day who were very very healthy. We learned that being normal is very dangerous to your health. Very your passed a man on on the road the other day and he's driving this big Mercedes car with motivational tapes. Probably playing in his ear talking about his car phone. Probably on the way to a meditation class to learn to relax. We work harder than that. Shea. And he's commended for this. So what therapists have become. At least in my estimation in our research is really like lifeguards by a big river. People fall this river. They almost drowned. We pluck them out. Resuscitate them and throw them back in. We don't ask. Maybe that rivers running too fast. Maybe there's something more to life than we're doing right now. So you studied people who have the the joy response naturally and there about twenty percent of the population twenty percent. You see for example if you go to a picnic and eat bad foods spoiled potato salad. Eighty percent of the people get sick but twenty percent of those people tend to not get sick by the study those people. Why don't they? And the reason I started to look at those healthy people who don't seem to to jog but stay healthy. Eat fiver turned into a brick. They help in any way and what it was was very obvious. They had broken stress addiction. They weren't addicted to that stress anymore. They were free and what really drove the message. Home was the first woman I interviewed. Seventeen years ago a survivor of the Holocaust and I saw her in the hospital with a very non serious illness and she was smiling. They wanted her out of the hospital because she kept singing and laughing and bothering all of the rest of the patient so I went to see her. She had the tattoo on her wrist. That terrible tattoo and I said all my word look at that and she said you like my birth mark. I said that's a death mark. Isn't it she said the day they stamped that on me? I knew they weren't going to kill me now. Why did she have? That was my interest in writing Super Joy. I wanted to know why some people survive anyway. Why can they be so abnormal? Why aren't they quotes well adjusted? Why are they weird enough? Like some of the people here and my esteemed colleagues to break away from the system. That's what they've done. And so you talk about that too and all I need to know learned in kindergarten. You talk about the Good Samaritan Story and how that affected the guy who who was stopped by the Good Samaritan details about that absolutely but the bottom line of this whole discussion has to do with the fact that whatever it is that we're all looking for it is not something that you have to go out there and get it is something that you have and something that you give away and in the context of that your life is meaningful. That's the biggest distinction. I find between the people who are suffering from stress in those who are not you. You're talking about the Jewish story of the Holocaust. One time. I was working as a cowboy and a dude ranch in the night manager of this was a guy who'd been through Auschwitz and I was complaining terribly bitterly about the fact that three days in a row. We'd head weenies and Sauerkraut for lunch. Quit he said listen to me. Says you break your neck? You got a problem you go to rush Mitch. The problem all the rest of inconvenience you got to figure out the difference between inconvenience and problems. Yeah and the point of the Good Samaritan story did the man who was helped by the Good Samaritan was grateful that he was helped or did he complain about all the other people who passed and did not help him well. We've been puzzling. That went out for a long. And you see the answer to that in terms of what you project onto it rather than what the story actually tells you it's very interesting you're talking about Auschwitz. Because I went to see Mississippi Burning. Went to see it with some friends who came out saying This makes me really hate white people and I said you know does the exact opposite to me. I look at that film and I look at our history black people in this country and I think of what other black people have sacrificed in order for me to be where I am and I just WanNa make what I have better so that their legacy would not be legacy lived in vain instead of carrying the bitterness. Our guests on one of those super joy people and say I don't look at it and say this makes me mad. I look at it and say well look at what what people have sacrificed me and I can do so much more to have so much more. You know what reason for cynicism is. There's lots of reasons for cynicism. Trouble is it doesn't help. It doesn't help at all. Isn't the bottom line though love while he isn't about unless I don't care what the question is. Love is the answer loving yourself first. Because if you don't have love for yourself then you can't give it to others and that's a major problem. I think is is low. Self esteem like a love for oneself so we're projecting all of these negative images out onto the world
Choosing To Thrive
"Chorea how was your weekend your upcoming week planning to be going to be awesome or you thriving if you want to thrive. We can help you with that today. That's my plan and this week as well really going into that world as I gotta carry a theme throughout the entire week. Something I've been wanting to you for a long time start today. It's the daily boost from motivation to move dot com. Life gets in the way just the very minute you decide that. Hey let's go forward. I'm ready to move and make things happen. I'm going to stand up. Take a step and repeat. I'm GONNA keep going to create the life of my dreams an alley power. I think I did Howie Pandemic. It's here It just happens. It's a little bit unsettling and a lot of ways but that's okay that's okay we're in this together and we're going to drag you kicking and screaming to whatever you want no matter what gets in your way and if it's okay we'll start today and maybe you started a few weeks ago a few years ago. It's okay but today's a new day when you remember that too. Sometimes I I chat with people on the foam and they usually lead with challenge. They had and I'm usually like well. You know you can restart like tomorrow really. I said Yeah you can start all over again tomorrow. and they get comfortable with us that you get outta bed you start again to start again just reset tomorrow and then I really blow their minds so you know. Actually you'll have to wait till tomorrow you can just restart right now do over instantaneously if you want to work on all that stuff all this week good have today. Thank you for stopping by so our sponsor today is linked in. I'm so happy. They're here because everybody today is trying to get a different perspective on the world including year daily boost. I talk to people all over the place and everybody's trying to adjust to this remote work thing now I'm a guy who's done remote work for a longtime many years but still things are different these days. That's why I'm happy. My friends at linked in learning or here to help you and your teams to stay productive at home and also support your well being right now for a limited time. You need to pay attention to this. Because linked in learning is offering free a wide variety of their most popular courses free. They bring reward experts. They share tips on how to cope with stress manage remote team and even looked great on video. Conference calls big deal these days or courses for salespeople recruiters small businesses and whole more and might want to share these free linked learning courses with your team. I'm sure they would appreciate you. you doing that sport right now if you WANNA learn more right there on the chat linked in consultants are therefore. You'RE GONNA ask all the questions you want to. I have been deleted learning and I got the perspective that I needed on lots of different things including what's happening with the impact. Cova nineteen right now. I really enjoyed that. Discover your strengths. Course they have personal development junkie. I love that kind of thing and the section of remote work. If you're having trouble managing your time being more productive you need that. It's disco. Checkout it's there therefore you and the very minute you go to linked in learning. You'RE GONNA go. Wow look at all the stuff learning resources more than you could ever use in everything you need for your business or your professional life visit. Lincoln learning dot com slash boost right now export dozens of free courses? That's Lincoln learning dot com slash boost. Since Monday. I always begin with the question. I've been asking since two thousand six now. This question came out of the fact that I wasn't very good at doing my homework. I wasn't that good in high school doing my homework. Either my homework but I learned as a little bit older that ahead to spend some time working on things and most importantly working on myself and has narrowed down. I began to look at folks around me. I realized that they weren't taking any time to assess their own life and what was going on. They were just living life. Getting caught up in the caught up right is doing the thing and so I began to ask by way back in two thousand and six. Have you done your homework? Did you look at your life and you say what I like about it what I like about it. He says something I should change is something I should keep. Who SHOULD I keep? Who should I get rid of? It's not simple is our focus. You can put your mind on. That will change everything. If you do it at one question that one thing you can do today that will that change everything? If you take a few minutes every single week and sit down and do that you'll change your life and I have a promise for you if you'll do it today and maybe tomorrow maybe next week. I could do a couple of weeks and are okay if you do that. It'll become automatic. It's a promise it just happens and wiser promise. It's hard to get it done the first time. But when you get done you get so excited. Uc where your path is heading. And you almost can't wait to do it again. And within a short couple of weeks it's just in your mind just part of who you are every single day and now everything you do moves in the direction you wanted to go not some other direction no matter what happens so do that do your homework if you need some help remember. We have the perfectly planner. It's a short simple. Pdf IT allows you to control your weak and your time and there's a video that you watch teach you how to do that. Just GO TO MOTIVATION WHO'VE DOT COM. And you'll find you there under the resource section so you. Choosing to thrive in these times of chaos thriving. Chaos. It's something we hear a lot. These days seems like every other email again talks about that so I thought well it's jump on the bandwagon. Let's do it to write those words. They hold incredible power. Have you noticed? Words do hold power. They mean something right. How you how you interpret words. Those words hold real power. They could ignite fear they can excite. And as we've seen lately they can click get you to click a link thriving chaos my goodness. It's time to release yourself from all that external drama. You want to do that. A lot of drama going around right now you can tap into it really believe you want to. It's all over the place on the news on the radio. It's it's everywhere you can find it really easily. It's every email most text messages. You're getting as well drama drama drama. Let's lose that trauma that was a human? How do you do that? Well you have something very magical inside of you pay attention. It will allow you to ground yourself. Stay steady and move forward. If that's what you WANNA do it's inside of you right now. You don't have to buy it. You don't have to purchase it. You don't have to have anybody give it to you on a big for you if the IT. It's there already. You can choose how you feel. It's already inside of you. You can charge your own path. It's already inside of you. You can take any action you desire. You're not being stopped by anybody or anything but maybe you you were born. You are hardwired to go beyond surviving to go into thriving. You were preprogrammed with the desire. To thrive no matter. What's going on around you know? Maybe that's what's driving crazy right now. 'cause like hanging on for the ride with everything that's going on and yet freaked out a little bit about trying to do something more right as 'cause your hardware to do that your hardware to do more than just survive your hardwired thrive so. I have to ask you a couple of questions. If it's okay you can answer them if you'd like to and you may not want to let me scare you to do it but will break you free and start you moving forward if you'll think this way and I know this because I do it myself. Every single day if needed. Sometimes it's not but is it time for you to break from all these dramatic distractions your life these days and just release yourself. The answer probably should be A. Yeah it's time to break free from dramatic distraction. Release yourself to do what you may be asking. What whatever you WANNA do. I find if you can get yourself to break free from the stuff that's controlling you. You leave open space and if you don't fill that space automatically and said you choose what to do during that space
Bronzers and Journals
"Moving on to a different topic that but one we have not discussed. I don't think no over on for over thirty five sunless tanner cousin. That was the tide. The subject of the email. This listener writes to us. I just came to the starting realization that there is a crucial part of skin care. We have not dove into yet. Sunless tanners exclamation point times three. I have more time than usual during the self isolation and since I won't be visiting a beach anytime soon. I'm wiping out the self tanners. For a little pep. I would love to hear some wrecks of easy to use an effective self tanners or an inhouse comparison tests. I've had good luck with tart tanner's but I am trying out I'll of paradise and will report back curious to hear what others are using out there. I'm curious to. I'm curious to because I don't use anything like this I don't either and actually I'm incorrect. I believe the title of this email. Referenced Bronze Irs and so it made me think about like what we may be putting on our sheikhs but that in our face but then I believe they're also talking about like all over Sunless Tanning. Yeah. I think they are now. Has Tanning ever been a thing for you later? Channing have you ever like bought the Juergens on okay back in the day. I mean. We're probably talking like DOTS. I feel like everyone was using that. Jergens sunless tanner. I would use it. I felt like it always looks sort of streaky on me So I I was never a huge sunless. Tanner person how about you. I also went through a phase of putting that jerk stuff all over my body but I have never gotten a spray Tan. I've always wanted to but I just have never gotten around to it. I don't even know where to begin to spray tans in my life one I got in the early to mid odds before a friend and I were going on a trip to Atlantic City when I lived in Philadelphia and I loved the Spray Tan like. I thought it was amazing and I was also like Oh. This is what it would be like to be. Tam like this. This is fun. Didn't get another one for probably ten years or so. And then when I was at buzzfeed someone else was doing in article about spray tans and they got like a spray tanner to the stars to come in and they asked if anyone wanted to get a spray tan and I volunteered and it looked so bad. It looks horrendous. Oh my it was way too dark. Okay I looked. I didn't look like myself like I felt like maybe over the years. I have now romanticize this original spray Tan but I felt like what was great about my original Spray Tan. Back in two thousand and four. Was that it. I still like looked like myself and this was just like what has happened. Look Tan mom remember Tan mom. Oh remember Tan mom. I'm like fully up on Tan. Mom what she doing now. I mean she's like releasing songs and occasionally appearing on the Howard Stern show it good for her? She's still so Tan. I believe she is. Okay but yes. I do remember Tan mom yet so that was my last experience and I was just like what no so. We didn't get a spray Tan. Like for your wedding. No I didn't okay. Okay I mean. I know a lot of people do that but I was just like nervous that it wasn't going to turn out well and then you're like stuck. This is my fear. This is why I have never done it and I. I also like for example. I used to wear the steel. Bronze are as like my blush. Even owned blush. That was just what I use it. I really liked it but now I get confused over the way. Bronze is USED TO CONTOUR Like I feel like I feel like the the way we use. Makeup is evolving. And I'm still in like two thousand and four and so I don't quite have a sense of what I would do with it. Like I did. Watch him Kardashians like basic makeup routine video and then I tried to emulate at home and it looked like I tried to make a three on my face with some bronze and looked very stupid. Like I don't St- I'm still not good at countering although maybe I should take Contra Zoom cloud. We didn't. We discussed that. We were going to learn how to contour during yes. I've watched this video and I was like this was like her own doing contour herself. So I thought I could at least figure it out as opposed to a makeup artist. I couldn't I had no idea what was happening. So there you go so anyway this is. This is a spot where we would love some listener feedback. Yeah we would love to tell us. What are you doing this? For Sunless Tanning are you doing? It is still a thing. What do you like? What don't you like tell us because I would. I am totally game to get a bunch of stuff and try it out for the sake of the pod I just. I'm not sure where to begin. So I'm ready okay. Great I'm ready to experiment okay. Story I think you've gotta read this this so I'm happy to I've been reflecting lately on the act of journaling and I think you two are the perfect people to reflect with me on this. When I was a child I used to try to keep a diary as documentation of my life growing up in the nineties with Nickelodeon. I was inspired by the movie. Harriet the spy and wanted to have the dedication that Michelle Trachtenberg character had with her writings however I was never very disciplined by. Diaries were sporadic. And I judge myself harshly for that in my mid twenties. I hit a rough patch in my life and my other wonderful sister. Hope Gifted me a journal to help me work through anxieties. Something clicked and I stopped writing for posterity or documentation. I started writing to get things out of my head. I stop worrying about continuity I would mention people places or events without preamble for my quote audience in fact I began my journals things that I would never even myself read again often because I assumed it would be too painful to revisit them. Journaling has been a great way for me to clear the junk out of my head now that we are in this unique time in history. And I'm expecting my first child that I should be. Writing for an audience has crept in again. I have the urge to think more of my writings as documentation that will be meaningful to someone else at some point. I'm definitely not a dance. Like no one is watching kind of person and this perspective is stifling. Dory I know you've been dabbling with generally more lately and since we're both writers. I'm so curious to hear what you think of on this question of audience for journaling. Do you write for no one like I prefer or for future you for your children or historians. I would love to hear from other listeners as well. Well well who do you? Who Do you write in your journal? Forgery? I think I write for future me I think I do too. I feel like writing for no one. I I kind of doing that. 'cause I'm not really thinking about the intended reader right but ultimately the intended reader is going to be future. Yeah hopeful and I say that as someone who still has kept journals pretty much through through college inconsistently but I have journals through college And I do enjoy a kate like not all the time but like occasionally I have gone back and looked through the journals and it like it is really wild to look through them and read them like re not just read about your your state of mind but like what you were doing and who you're hanging out with and I don't know I like I just find I find it really interesting but I also you know I like history and I like documents and so does obviously find interesting too. Yeah I you know when. My My parents gave me a journal the Christmas while I was living at home when my mom had pancreatic cancer and so I have a journal that kind of starts about three months before my mom died and it is really because that time in my life is so fraught and I don't remember anything from it. It is actually really moving to go back and read it and it's also very hard and miserable but it is really interesting to just see what my state of mind was during that time and I also have kept journals on and off my whole life. I mean I do think you do have to be prepared for if you are no longer around someone else reading it. You know like that is a reality that could happen.
When other people make you late
"Today's tip is about how you can make your deadlines when you're depending on other people. Today's question comes from a listener. Who runs a film festival? She has deadlines for filmmakers sponsors rental providers and so forth in order to meet her deadlines she reports. She spends a lot of time chasing people to meet. There's I do. Make sure to give buffers for those deadlines but sometimes people really miss the deadlines despite phone calls emails and even facebook messages. During the week following there miss deadline she says since I am coordinating so many people from so many different walks of life. I know that I cannot expect them all to meet my deadlines but that means I. Don't meet my deadlines. I have a hard time getting my work done as it requires their work to be done in time. What would you suggest for handling team where their ability to get their work? Done directly affects mine. I know this is a common question. And not just for people running film festivals. Many of us run big projects that require lots of people to meet deadlines and unfortunately some people are much more reliable than others. Sometimes there are good reasons and sometimes there are not but if you still want to be reliable you have to figure out what to do about it. Our listener is doing the right thing by building in a buffer and communicating frequently before the deadline. It's good to reach out and see how things are going. And if people are encountering any obstacles you should know about when possible and also recommend intermediate deadlines people can turn in portions of the work. Just you can check in on how the process is going. That said some people are still going to miss their deadlines and the secondary real deadlines see you need to do what newspapers do. People might not turn in things or a story might not happen at the time it was supposed to but the newspaper never prince a blank page. Instead there're always some evergreen stories in the hopper that can be run if there's an opening likewise are festival director can commission a bit more than she needs or have some work from previous years. That could be shown again that way. She knows she's got enough material regardless and then play tough. It is totally fair to put into people's contracts that if they don't turn their work in on time they will not be part of the festival. People are free to show their own work whenever they'd like. But if you'd like to be part of something bigger than yourself you have to play by group rules. A lot of people learned this the hard way I hoped with a choral composition contest for a few years where we once got a commission very late. We had to spend a
Finding Freedom in the Midst of Failure
"NAMA. Stay and welcome. Were together here for the eighth now of are sheltering in love talks and last week we explored the prison of blaming others. And this week I'd like to reflect together on how're relating to our inner experience our relationship with our inner life. Recently I saw one of those viral emails and it said breaking news wearing a mask inside. Your home is now highly recommended not so much to prevent Cova nineteen but to stop eating and I was just reflecting on this universal human tendency. We have when ever we feel uncomfortable whenever we feel restless or fearful or distressed. We try to seek a way out of it. We try to get rid of the feeling. We try to get away from the feeling and of course with lockdown to whatever degree. It's impacting your life. There's fewer escapes exit strategy. So of course. There's that tendency to leave by either overeating or oversleeping or busying ourselves or online addictions are just obsessing and one of the big ways that we leave is chronic judgment as a the judge others but we also turn on ourselves for our habits and for more. It's another way of leaving so from the perspective of deep-healing from the perspective of spiritual awakening the heart of the path is learning to stay learning to stay with what ever waves of emotional difficulty are arising really to be willing to be present with the loneliness with the few years with the hurts that for many of us we spent a lifetime running from and it's inevitable that life will not work out the way we want at certain times and often a lot. That's just inevitable. It's inevitable that we're going to experience painful emotions. We are all rigged to have that happen. So there's a bed and teacher that offers a metaphor that I have found really resonant. I wanted to share with you and just to imagine that you're walking into the ocean and as happens sometimes it stirred up and we get knocked over by a strong wave. It's a strong way of of emotion of anger. Fear Shame and so either we get knocked over and we can lie there on the ocean floor which is actually another. It's like saying we're going to avoid getting up and being with the waves. It's kind of way of dying or disconnecting from our full aliveness. Are you just get up and you face forward and you continue to lean in and move towards an open to the waves. Continue to walk out into the ocean and they keep coming but if we develop the capacity just keep standing up and facing them and opening to them they start seeming smaller with less power to knock you over so the basic understanding. Is that even when it's difficult to move in the direction of feeling your feelings and now I want to note here of course that you can open to your feelings fully. Like really feel them completely. Are they feel? Potentially traumatizing are overwhelming than take baby steps but the idea is have the intention of moving towards feeling your feelings and do the waves get smaller. I mean so many people have asked me you know. Does it ever go away the fear or the anger the hurt and I don't think waves go away. I think it's part of an ocean to have waves on the surface but actually what happens is the more we open to and feel the waves the more ocean. Likely become we enlarge and become more whole and there's more space for the waves to come and go. We don't suffer so much and this is the gift by opening to the waves. The really is a homecoming to who we are to that. Full being that full awareness now as we know just to bring it into current times during this global crisis. Surf's up you know. The waves are pretty powerful and we can all feel how stress spikes when there's so much uncertainty when there's a real for many of the direct fuelling threat in very in very critical ways and our lives disrupted. It's just not. It's not working out how we wanted and for many really huge loss huge suffering. Surf's up and it's triggering and it's really triggering for those of us that have trauma but almost everybody is emotionally activated. Okay so the given is there are waves. That are surging right now and what I'd like to do together is focus on one particular type of way. That's really painful. And those of the waves of feeling personal failure the waves of being down on ourselves the ways of being really harsher judgmental about how our our navigating our lives. How we're doing it. You know the feelings of blowing it fallen short. I'm not okay. Something Bad's going to happen because of that. We have a really deep conditioning to shift from the feeling of this feels bad too. I am bad and I invite you to check that out. How quickly when there's a feeling bad feeling fear feeling hurt it turns into I am bad and I often term this the transfer of unworthiness and by that I mean the stories and the feelings of something. I'm flawed I'm deficient. And so as we know we blame others. We explored that. But usually there's an undercurrent more blaming others of a bad self and it's there and we don't often see it but if we don't see it it actually is the most profound prison that shapes our
What About The Stepchildren?
"So we're going to do really for the rest of the episode is read a couple of letters from step children Adult now but step children and try to look at the situation from their perspective. And we're going to have some incredible help in that a mission from the wonderful author Jane Alison. Who's GonNa join us a little bit later but for now let's Let's here this first letter. Great dear sugars. I'm a woman in my late twenties and recently became a stepchild. My parents divorced when I was nineteen after returning home from my first year of College I discovered my dad was having an affair and had front row seats to their implosion. Within the next few years he had developed. An addiction disowned me and my siblings and disappeared from my life. My mother was devastated and my siblings and I were left to pick up the pieces. Several years later she was dating. It moved fast like for meeting on line two married in under a year. He seems to be a kind man is good to my mom. She seems genuinely happy. Am thankful for that but I cannot stand him. He tries so hard with me and my siblings. It irritates me and then I feel childish for being near updated. Every conversation is about how much he loves my mom and cherishes her how he has this. Quote unconditional love for me and I'm like dude slowdown. Do you have any hobbies? What's your favorite color? It feels fake forced and frustrating when he talks have to resist the urge to make wretched noises. I think he has the best of intentions. But it's way too much even more than the emotional overstepping his very existence is the reminder to me of so many griefs in my life. My parents divorce my father's abandonment. The fact that my family will never be what it once was tried to talk to my mom about my fears and sadness and she responds one of two ways one ignoring my feelings and moving on or to crashing into guilt and tears about how. She's a terrible mother. Then I ended up comforting her and feeling guilt. Ridden for sharing. How I feel. I feel like I'm losing the only parent I have left. What do I do with this pain? My mom can't hear it. She doesn't want to hear it. She can't manage her on guilt. And then I'm left alone in my grief. I know it's not his fault but I had no choice in any of this and the place I once called home no longer exists. And he's there painting a fairytale when I have come from a nightmare and I don't buy and I can't stand it. Signed step whatever And you're right you're right. This is such a powerful self self-aware person and here's the deal. You didn't have a chance to grieve the loss of your family and your mom in her quest. For happiness instability in probably. She was quite unhappy for quite a number months. She got married and found somebody else. And you know. Your stepfather is painfully. Aware of your mom's passed and that she was betrayed and hurt. And so were you. And so. He's overdoing it and you also feel rightfully that your mom has abandoned you. It's not just your dad. Who Blew up the family? It's your mom not being able to deal with the fact that you're not over it and you need to you know feel more grief and feel you're not alone in it. She is E- even to a greater extent. Really then your stepfather. Who's in the situation but new to the situation? She's the person who's not at a moment. You really need her to being your mom and saying I get that this was painful for you and I needed find my own happiness but it happened so quickly. You didn't really have a chance to grieve. And it's interesting Cheryl she. You know this all happened when she was nineteen and in some ways as we know trauma kind of freezes the psyche and the heart in a particular face so to some extent step. Whatever even though. You're clearly so thoughtful and self aware you're kind of frozen in this teenage petulance of sank getaway. Powell get a job I WANNA WRETCH. You know even the way you talk about it now. I don't blame you for a second. You're absolutely right. Don't buy it. I can't stand and I was like hell. Yeah you don't but you do have to find a way to tell your mom you have to be my mom Yeah I think that stuff. Whatever I don't think that that you really need to process this with your mother and stepfather you know. I think the person you need to heal is yourself. Because you know you you say you're in your late twenties. The divorce was when you were nineteen so it sounds like you've gone the better part of a decade essentially having to adjust to this new way of being your your new family structure and it's full of sorrow and it's full of pain and anguish and and now you know that your mom has moved on and found happiness more quickly than you'd like with a man who doesn't behave exactly the way you prefer. It's brought all of that sorrow and loss front and center to you. The answer isn't that your mom says okay because it causes you pain that I married to this super sweet guy. I'm leave him and the answer isn't the super sweet guy. You know I mean I get it that you wouldn't want him to adjust his behavior. But I don't really think that that's the problem you know. I relate to this so much because W- longtime listeners of the show. My Mom died when I was twenty. Two my my stepfather. Who I loved like a father pretty quickly got involved with another woman and even though this scenario you know there wasn't an affair in a divorce and all that there was a death but suddenly there was another woman sleeping in my mother's bed. I don't know any other way to say it and it was very very very difficult. You know the fact of their relationship in so many ways brought up you know my profound loss and also the truth was that my family would never be the same again in fact it never was the same again here. We are twenty five years out from them and so I what I'm going to encourage you to think about whatever is you know. Your mom has remarried and she's happily remarried and the guy sounds like a pretty decent guy even though he's a bit insufferable But but but what? Let's roll the tape back but insufferable discussing you to suffer is is is just simply your sorrow and your and your rightist grief. You know you wanted your parents to stay married to each other. You wanted the life of your childhood to continue into your adulthood and hasn't and that is really painful but you do have to find a way to accept it. Well what you see. Very clearly in where the What's quite striking which gets left behind when all the focus is on the the step that is within the next few years my dad had developed. An addiction disowned me and my siblings and disappeared from my life. So you're furious but you got the wrong guy the wrong suspect and we know this is what happens with our anger when we when the source of it up and leaves than its. It doesn't disappear just has to get displaced under somebody else so there's your sweet slightly insufferable. I would not say he's insufferable. But you know here's this guy is trying too hard and I guess what I would say is that I agree. Show that that for you. Step whatever the work to be done is within yourself and it sounds like you're already have been doing. Some of that work in this letter is the product of having done some of that work. But it's important to be honest with your mom and with your stepfather in simply saying to them. I'm not really over what happened. Please stop pretending that I am or that. If you pretend you're over at or if you even are over it that you're going to transmit that to me because that is only making me feel neglected and left alone on the island of monstrous grievance anger and. I don't expect you to fix it but you need to be aware that you trigger it when you guilt trip me or you try too hard. Yeah I think that's good advice and I think one of the hardest things about becoming a stepchild or or you know. Seen suddenly senior parents love other people. Is You know it it really is the kind of the end of a dream and I remember feeling very clearly. I even said this to my stepfather. I'll never have another mother but you can have another wife well and so in some ways. I mean obviously I think we can never replace specific people but in in categorically we can. It is true that I never had another mother and it is true that he did have another wife. And I think stub whatever part of this anger. Your feeling towards your stepfather is that you see that that's happened that your mom really has moved on and she has a new marriage. But you don't have a new Dad and part of your anger about him saying things like I love your mother and I love you. Unconditionally is you. Don't WanNa New Dad Right. You're still wounded by your own. So you know. I think one of the beautiful things that could happen if we've still got this podcast and in a decade. I'm going to beg you to write to us because one of the things that could happen is that you do. He'll that Father Wound. And you do heal the wound of your family. Exploding that you could find that that this man who's married to your mom could be somebody that you love. And he's never going to be your dad but he might be somebody pretty important in your life down the road you know he might be the grandfather to your children that if you have kids you know he might be Become family But I think that you I have to heal your own wounds and stop focusing on him and how much he tells you. He loves you and start focusing on your own sorrow. We wish you luck price to us in ten years.
Do IT Afraid
"Whatever it is that you decide to do legally of course do it. Don't put off the steps. Even if you don't know all of the steps you'll find it that they will fill in as you go forward but stalling questioning. Second Guessing Yourself. If it's for you if this is something you're supposed to be doing will never get you to the place that you're supposed to be many people don't WanNa do because they're afraid. What is fear the absence of faith so my suggestion? My urgent recommendation is that you do it. Afraid because the more you do it afraid the less fear you have fear dissipates in the presence of faith fear dissipates in the presence of faith so whatever that thing is that's tugging on you. I encourage you go forward figure it out. Life is but a dream. Dreams are not given in concrete flute form. Dreams are filled in with vision with creativity with aspiration with life with love with power with vigor with community. So whatever that thing is that you have been putting off. Don't put it off any longer. Do it today do it with faith do with intention in watch the evidence of your fruits of your labor. Turn into something beautiful something whole something inspiring something that God put you here that only you can do
Plugging Into Simple
"How are you happy Wednesday twins they write clients and the literally told me in the past? Couple of weeks has gotten a day was if I didn't have a call with you. Check my calendar at such companies now. No it's Tuesday Wednesday whatever day. It is time right now. It's the daily boost. Motivation TO MOVE DOT COM obstacles. In life happened. We need to figure out how to live our purpose and our passion. No matter what gets in her white life will get in the way it is right now and I've always begins when you move. Continue moving and when you do a lot of moving today somehow find a way to inspire so guess. What tomorrow keep doing that? You have yourself a pretty gosh darn good life and you create exactly what you want no matter what gets in the way scout kind of how. It is a good to have you here today. Thank you for stopping by. If it's your first time finding me a lot of your just finding me for the first time. My name is Scott Smith founder. Chief motivating officer here at motivation to move dot com. And at one of the things about me that you'll find really quickly is a lot of people say will Scott. He must be a positive optimistic overly enthusiastic of guy to do the work. You do. is not always on the first second not really sometimes hits me right in the face. I'm like what happened but particular skills that I have is when things happen. I go okay. That didn't see that common. That kind of is not really. My plan didn't really like that very much but naturally I trying to say how do we make it? Better what solution. How do I get around over under through? How do I keep moving and direction? I WANNA move great the world. I WANNA create. How do I create experience in my life? And that's what I focus on here every single day. We're going to do that today as well. Good to have you here today. So let me tell you about one of the most useful APPS I have on my phone. It's also the one that teaches me the most. It's called blankets. I love to sit down love to read. I love to work on my personal development but run. A business upon guests have a farm. The bunch of packers. I need to be very creative with my time and bleakest helps me. Do that is a unique APP. It works on your phone. Your tablet or your web browser. It's a great way to get key. Takeaways a need to no information from thousands of nonfiction books all condensed the fifteen minutes. You can read or listen to. I was all my tractor the other day in the field. Doing some work never thought you'd catch me doing this on a tractor in a field with an iphone going through horror. Titles on blink is so fast so easy get those main points and just move on. Start using that information right away. It's very neat stuff. By the way twelve million people are doing that. They're getting the latest titles from Pelinka's bestsellers as well as a classic nonfiction titles at blankets. All the stuff you you never had time to read one of my favorites is Richard Branson's of the secrets of leadership. It's called the Virgin Way. If you've ever wanted to get inside his mind you can do unless fifteen minutes. Also how about habits are you? The person who wonders how Habits Affect Your Life will listen to the powered habit by Doug Charles Hig I should say at your eyes open very quickly the bleakest you get unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condense nonfiction books all the books you you'll want for one low price right now for a limited time. Bleakest has a special offer just for you go to blink dot com slash boost. Try It free for seven days and save twenty five percent off. Your new subscription is a great deal. That's bleakest spelled B. L. I. N. K. I T. BLINKING DOT com slash boost to start your free trial right now and save twenty five percent off but only when you sign up at bleakest dot com slash boost and tonight at eight o'clock eastern time. It's another operation reinvention call. It's zoom call and joy and I my wife get on the phone we check in with your all over the world. It's very very cool to hang out with folks the same mindset that you do and to see where they are in their life and with zoom you can see that so you like join us. Make sure you just check your email. I sent you an email with the The password because we have to do that with zoom stuff these days and we'll see tonight at eight. Pm Eastern a of days ago. I got on the phone and called a friend of mine. I have a few people that are on the favorites list. In the beginning my favorites list on my iphone was was my family. Pretty much family do many friends on there. Just might just my family kids things like that. And then Over time I recognize calling some folks And checking in on a more regular basis. I'M GONNA ask you to. My favorite list was a big deal to get on my favorite. This it's like being on my friends list on facebook. It's not too many over there. I keep kind of lean got picky about that stuff. Big Your friends have to support me and I have to support them. Anything in between is really not worth dealing with so called my friend. He lives in Connecticut to travel the world. We talk occasionally. He's a he's a coachie coach. Kinda guy always on the road always traveling always studying now. He's getting sparked by talking to him. We we often will save the problems. We'll solve the problems of the world and save the world in one one phone call. It's pretty easy so I called up actually to see if we could solve the problems of the world over the course of this phone call. I thought why not you know it's going to a slower than I would like so maybe I can actually put her mind to it and say we can do so. I called him up and he picked up the phone. I asked why said Wolf. Hey what are you doing to save the world? Yeah somewhat joking. But his answer really didn't surprise me. He said well literally. I only watch twenty minutes of TV a day. That's at twenty minutes of news a day. I can stay in touch. They'd give kind of goes he rift on me said because I find that if I watch any more than that I lose my productivity. It's impossible to watch that news and a have any any sense of what you really want to do. I'm with him on that by the way and he says I write. I get my work. Done helped my kids with school in general doing pretty much everything to stay grounded. Keyword there grounded. You're looking at picked up the phone. I knew I was at that point. He's busy I'm part of that day. Right he said how how about you what are you doing. Well told him that he was looking at decided to call them in the first place. Because I'm kind of in the same spot I don't initiate anything. That's GonNa bring drama into my life particularly with my drama. My life is drama right now. All of our lives drama right now and I'm pretty much the same except playing with dogs and kids. Alpacas will I refuse to let this crazy carousel of life? That most folks writing right now to become my right of choice not going to happen. You talk for a while. Actually talked for two hours covered every conceivable topic. You could imagine now. I don't think we actually saved the world. I'm really not sure yet. Haven't seen the result. May it may happen. It may happen because you want you start thinking and talking and it gets out kind of into the ether in the universe before you know it's out there and then people start hearing what you've been thinking and they talk taking action which you will you know how all that works right just a cool conversation putting some thoughts and thoughts very powerful things and they get out to the most powerful thing in the world or your thoughts and when you put them out there my goodness you start acting differently and people people start reacting to you differently. Don't they it Kinda feel something? You don't really know exactly what's going on but then something's going on so they. Kinda WANNA hang out a little bit or maybe an idea POPs in their head in the middle of the night in a dream. They don't even know why who knew. It was because I decided to interrupt my friends day and call him and see how he was doing and just chat about how to how solve all the problems of the world now will admit back in the day about twenty five years ago. I used to do it over a bunch of beer. I'd go into a city and meet a friend so it's got to have some beer and save the world that never worked back then. This one may have a little bit more power so I don't think we did but but I think we are. Certainly working on on. Saving ourselves are we. I reaching out by having that conversation. Are You doing that? Or you're reaching out to people around your those conversations it's crazy how this crazy agenda-driven world that we're in right now it's crazy how we are isolated in a way that is blocking us again at the same time we're able to reach out and plug into the simple joys of life. Are you doing that right now? Are you finding a way to plug into the things that just makes sense to you? Are you working with those kids? Are you baking cookies? Are you working in the yard? I've been to home depot recently. I'll tell you what there's a lot of y'all work in the yard because you can't check out at home depot y'all by all the flowers all those wheelbarrows and everything are all out there. And they're all gone now so. I'm assuming you do kind of the simple stuff in life. The more you pay attention to that the more you will will keep your sanity and keep your optimism. Keep your spirit.
Don't Try To Be Great
"In his book. Based on a commencement speech he gave at Dartmouth College in twenty eleven. Charles Wheel tells a story about how he was once a guest on a news program hosted by Chicago journalist Phil Ponts now the show is filmed live. So of course if you mess up or say something you regret there are no do overs. They're only hundreds of thousands of pairs of eyes watching. You do whatever it is you did or say whatever it is you said polished or not just before airtime Charles the writer recalls how. He was feeling right before. He said he was nervous. Self-conscious in hoping to impress in that very moment fill. The host leaned over with just thirty seconds to live and said these words. Charles never forgot. Don't try to be great. Just be solid. The book is called ten and a half things. No commencement speaker has ever said and in it. Charles Leland writes this. That simple advice had a profound effect. Because I knew I could be solid. That was within my control. I could just talk about what I know. I could answer questions candidly. I could have a fun and interesting conversation with other guests. I might have some fun. Equips I might not. Phil's advice was liberating because it removed the pressure to deliver what I wasn't certain I could deliver and it made me better at doing what I knew I could again. The book is called ten and a half things. No commencement speaker has ever said and don't try to be great. Is thing ten and a half like many of you? I've been thinking a lot about this class of twenty twenty both like I said the high school graduates college graduates to in addition to all of the end of year events. This graduating classes either missing out on her having to modify because of the pandemic the truth remains they're still graduating. They are moving into the world of grownups and the expectations in this world can be while extreme to say the very least. This world is filled with people who are trying to be great in the same way. I hope doing the next great thing is a kind of phrase for graduates to hold onto. I think Philpott he gave to Charles. Leland seems like a relief as well. Don't try to be great. Just be solid. It's not the message we usually hear after all the phrase is greatest of all time not solid est of all time or does that even mean to be solid years ago. I listened to an interview with author Philly Anderson who by the way is also a real life dear friend of ours here. North Carolina but in the interview Phil shared about his thirty year. Friendship with author and priest Brennan Manning in that interview Phil says this about Brennan Guy who's famous for what he has to say yet. What I remember most about him was how he sat and listened. He touched my life with his kindness. To fill. Brennan was solid. Another story comes to mind about Brennan himself one that he told his book souvenirs of solitude and it was about how years ago after a difficult phone call he had. He left his home. He was distracted and he had an appointment. That day. To give a talk to the inmates of Trenton State prison when he stood up there in front of the inmates he had been distracted. Like I said right before. He got up there so without stopping to think about his surroundings. His first words of greeting to the inmates were well. It's nice to see so many of you here when I read that statement. I tip my head back and laughed out loud all by myself mainly though I recognized how Brennan responded to his own words he wrote. I'm frequently not inform on top or in control. This is part of my poverty. As a human being and self acceptance without self concern simply expresses a reality he writes an impoverished spirit prevents the poor man from becoming a tyrant to himself. Brand was not anxious shocked or even much concerned about this misstep in front of the inmates. Instead he had a light heart about it if he had been trying to be great that day. This mistake would have crushed him instead. He showed up solid which meant there was room to make a mistake and to move on without crumbling. We try to great. We risk becoming a tyrant to ourselves when things don't go the way planned one final quote and then I'll be done Dallas. Willard writes about the misunderstood phrase that we find in the Bible about dying to self he says in this is a quote when we see people dominated by their lust for glory or insisting that there will be done we will be in a position where we can be very firm in not cooperating with them even if their loved ones when we live in the shepherd sufficiency and died to ourselves. We become the most firmly established people in the world. That quote is from his book. Life Without lack the most firmly established people in the world so class of twenty twenty. Don't try to be great. Just be solid. Be Solid in the way you live in your house until the next phase begins in the way you hang out with your family your choice to laugh instead of roll your eyes in the way you choose to listen to your younger siblings. Who will miss you more than they can possibly say. Or put into words be solid with how you enter into your next experience not like a tourist who watches from behind a camera lund's and insists all of your usual comforts are close at hand and not like an expert who thinks she's supposed to know everything as best you can enter into your new situation ready to be fully present and engaged when you can and free to withdraw when it's necessary be solid enough to be boring if you're trying to be great you might not notice the people and the margins your neighbors who are working twice as hard for half as much. If you're trying to be great you might be tempted to bend the truth to get ahead. So just be solid honest simple and you
Training Your Brain for Success with Dr. Shannon Irvine
"Let's talk about training your brain for success because that's going to be our focal point for today. That is what this audio masterclass is going to be all about. And let's just start off with talking about the actual hard wiring of our brain for success. What does that look like? Absolutely so I think is important for everyone to know all the entrepreneurs out there and the change makers that one of your biggest secret weapons like literally your competitive advantage. You've had the entire time and you didn't know it. And that is the three pound brain. That's on top of your shoulders. However its design. It's wiring to keep you safe in familiar and it. Automates everything that not that you want? But that's you have repeated over and over and over again in terms of automation. There's no better system on the planet than our brain and it automates. That thought that thinking process that you that you constantly are in the process of whether you realize it or not really what you automate you create and so that is the big takeaway that I want you to hear that. Once you start to take your thinking autopilot truly become the creator of your thoughts in start creating the thoughts that create the success that you want in your life in. Your Business and your relationships and all the places you start to become honestly
Reducing Your Stress By Increasing Your Hope
"How are you and happy Monday? Did you have a great mother's Day if you're a mother or if you if Allah mother or no matter whether his mother's here not if you thought about your money you take your mother? It's a great day day. Did you think about what's really important in life mistake? One of those nice days. It is the daily boost from motivation to move dot com. I know right now you might be thinking Scott. I had all these things that were going so well always since I want to do with these dreams and desires in these ambitions in life is going pretty darn good and then and then and then. Now I'm GonNa do it to stop really a detour. It's been caused me. The Path is now different member. You'll be flexible to get what you want you. And seven billion people on this planet kind of in the same spot right now so if you sit down and you're feelin lonely. Feel like oh my gosh. What's going to happen this this? This has been something. That's the Torque for me here in the past coupla months as I as I just take a very practical look at the world I think well you know. It's like seven billion folks and all kind of in the same. Oh the same spot are we. This too shall pass. Have you noticed something that whenever change happens in your life have you noticed it? Because do you like change? A lot of people don't like good change but but but if you just mentioned the word change most people go oh my God. What are we going to do more? When this whole thing started a couple of months back the change was overwhelming. Then it was every single second of the day and now it's it's still changing but it's a little bit more normal than it used to be in the now. We settling find a way you see. There is a way when you're flexible. And you think about it and you take just a few minutes to the pause about what's important and remember where you were Heddon. We're going to work on that today. A little bit for us. Well how are you? My name is Scott Smith founder. Chief motivating officer here at motivation. Move Dot Com. I have to remind you this week. We're get getting can do it. Wednesday night eight o'clock or going to an operation reinvention call it will do that At eight o'clock and I know the the folks in Europe are going to Scott. Come on we don't WANNA stay up to one o'clock in the morning. We'll do one for you the week following in the afternoon and give you chance to get on the phone with join myself and a whole bunch of MTM. I'm around the world is Kinda Shanteau about what's going on. It's a very very cool experience because there's really no agenda show are the call. It's all about just kind of checking in with folks and it's very neat place to be. You'll be surprised how so many people are in the same spot as you and yours be sprays optimistic and wonderful. These folks are so it's Wednesday. Look for that. It'd be sent an email to join us on that. Call it get more information and motivation and move dot com by the way if you're not a member of motivation who dot Com. You should do it because for the first time in. Gosh you've done the since two thousand and six. I drop the price by fifty percent during this pandemic just nine ninety five a month for the daily podcast commercial free the daily Doug e mail the daily. Click text message. I send out face your passion. The coaching programs doing everything else. It's been a big hit. All kinds of new folks are coming innocent. Thank goodness somebody's here every single day to help me get through this thing every single day. Just go to motivation who've DOT COM and get your sign up today. I think you're going to really love being there. And you're gonNA love being someplace else as well linked in learning now. Everybody has a different perspective. These days about what's going on in the world certainly here the daily Beast. I have it but all of us are trying to adjust more to remote work and I'm a guy who's done it for years but things are different these days. I was so happy to hear that linked learning is whether here to help you and your teams they want you to be more productive at home and they wanNA support your wellbeing as well. So Lincoln learning is offering a wide variety of their most popular courses right now for Free. Real world experts. They share tips on how to cope with stress managed. Remote team even look great video conference call. That's big with his of courses for salespeople recruiter small businesses and a whole lot more. And you might want to share these with your team. I'm sure they'll appreciate the extra support that the link to learn. We'll give them. And if you want to learn more there are always linked in learning consultants right there on chat and I jumped in because I wanted to get perspective on how folks are handling the cove in nineteen crisis and I really enjoyed the discover your strength course. It's free and they have a section entire section on remote work including time management could use that one. You'll check it out from the very minute. I promise the very minute you log into Lincoln Learning Hugo well as all kinds of things right here on this page. I need to see right now. It's going to help you with your business or your professional life. So go do it. Visit linked in learning dot com slash boost to export dozens of free courses. That's linked in learning dot com slash boost. So Monday cannot begin without me without me asking. Have you done your homework? Did you sit down and ask where your life is right now? Where it's going. Where was he yesterday? What am I GONNA do? I don't might be a little bit confusing but until you sit down and just pay some attention to where it is. You really can't get to where you want to go. We'll talk about that here in just a little bit as well so when I say. Have you done your homework? You really checking in on your life and a lot of. It's a little bit upside down right now but You look in ny spiritually and your family and your job and everything else. Where is it do you like it? You don't like it are the things you just WanNa hang onto right now and keep things you want to change. It's really good time to make some adjustment. You can get the perfect week planner. It's at the website motivation dot com under the resource section. That'll help you figure this stuff out. You might want to do that. But do your homework. Pension to where you are it helps you get to where you WANNA go so today. I don't often do this but I am going to do it. Because it had some folks Scott. Can you do this okay again? A lot of time on the phone this week folks all over the world reducing stress so when it comes to reducing stressors some standard ways of doing it. But I don't tend to do standard. I tend to do things a little bit differently because I tend to sit down and go what actually works only for me but what I see work around the world or what do I feel work. When I'm working on myself. I can literally feel it on the inside. And that's where I go. I don't I don't go to books and all that kind of stuff. I don't make stuff up. It is what works. And that's what I deliver to you so I wanNA reduce your stress but I want to do it a different way by increasing your hope if that's okay because unless you're living in a cave you may have noticed. There is more stress these days. There is less hope around in your life today. Probably maybe I h there. You're just not noticing it. A short time. It goes very different. Pandemics can do that so can life. By the way I've said for years life gets in the way it does. It doesn't always get in this big away but but holy moly. Did anybody see this coming while I guess most of his dead at some point with the Fancy Dancy smart scientists? Someday it's going to happen. Well it did but we weren't thinking about that. We were too busy going into chick-fil-a eaten at right. Too busy with life. Life gets in the way all the time over the years. I've learned a little bit about stress. If had like most folks have had areas in my life that have been stressful. A lot of itself induced. By the way I'm kind of adventuresome kind of guy that likes to push do different things. I put myself in stressful situations and I didn't know I didn't do it on purpose but I got there. What am I doing but swelled volunteer? Here I am as some of the things that happened in my world that were well. You'll not great deaths in the family and loss jobs and things like that over the years. That were very stressful. And I kinda learn but you're usually in every case when this has happened. In retrospect looking back on it and really taken some time to ponder were. The fear in the stress came from it did come from fear. That's where it came from. In almost every case the feeling of stress came from fear feeling stress over. Maybe never getting off the hamster wheel people role in to fast. Sometimes that's gone away these days for pace by different kind of hamster wheel. I guess feeling stressed from uncertainty. Why are they gonNa Right now? But you know it's been going around before your entire life. You been uncertain at certain times. It's kind of funny uncertain at Certain Times that of course some stress wanted a big one for me is lack of adequate information these days. We probably have more information than we want. It's always been that way but now we're kind of hyper focused on it. But we don't need more do we? It's information overload. We know that doesn't work. We need adequate information. We need enough to know in every single case whenever I have enough to know I find myself calm. And what's really neat about? It is if you understand this that that that adequate information to me is the biggest one. You can really avoid a lot of stress that comes with not knowing against you. It doesn't matter where your fear originates. The solution is is really a very frame of your mind and reform that is right changing how you think a little bit kind of coming at it from a different direction. An P. Concept. You may have heard about this before programming. Concept is easy to see things as they are. It's difficult to do. Sometimes seeing things as they are a lot of folks say Scott amount of work as Democrats scared to death. I'm seeing things as they are very very clearly as when not really. Is it uncertainty as like a money is having some issues with maybe your food or your family? What is it if you see things as they really are? You got to go deep. Don't you have to dig down inside? I know it's scary too. But that's where the adequate information is so the only way to see things that is the rs not to look on the surface. You gotta go a little deeper. And what's really driving the impact on you? What's causing that fear and that stress? It's scary sometimes. But it's eye opening. It's it's freeing it's liberating so you see things as they are not superficially but has a really truly ours is the truth that you actually don't want to. I want to pay attention to because only when you see things exactly as they are with one hundred percent clarity. Can you see things as they can be if you don't have clarity if you haven't completely grounded yourself what's really going on in your world? And what the impact is on you trying to think yourself out of that is well. It's difficult at best and it does create stress. Because you don't know what to do which in a fearful state and it doesn't give you a chance to bring back at home. What would you do see things as they are? You will notice instantaneously as you look at things can be this feeling of hope comes inside of you and when it does you'll notice it you'll feel it feel the stress quater your shoulders at your Chesterfield. Go Away that re frame of mind said well you for just a millisecond? Click in time. That's all it takes to realize all is well all is well. I used to have clarity of Barium. Were going stress will go away the whole full arrive and you will in fact become available because that's the we are right now right unless something stops you physically. You're still going to get up and and keep going it means. You're actually unstoppable already if you just recognize that all right. I'm going to get out of your back tomorrow. Chat about why plan B is not even necessary. All you need is plan to get through just about anything. Show hope here and hope on Wednesday honor. Operation had mentioned call at lluhvision moved up Tom. I'll see you tomorrow.
"Welcome to be great. Today we can start your week. I'm Jonathan Bloom or Bradley Sparks Band in the world of warcraft. Today the idea of withholding judgement I was playing watercraft as playing my Paladin the powder and has disability called judgment. It's an ability that sends out the shield and it's good for taking down range enemies to a faraway. I've made a phrase when I'm waiting to use the skill called withholding judgement and they've got the idea of withholding judgement in our own lives can like withholding judgement until more formation withholding judgement. We understand that person perspective. There have been times. I've been quick to judge somebody either. An an appearance of what the act was and I had this hot. Take as you will and then I realized that after I had the hot take. Oh there is more vision than I had needed. Sometimes people our love and grace and arguments. I find this to withhold judgment until I know what is the issue truly about might as a phrase the fights never really what the fights really about. I remember this one time I was at a coffee shop and I was having an issue with my phone and the rest of asking for more money and I was just starting to like tense up now. The BRISA and I wasn't angry at the money. There is things happening in my life. And my family's that that was getting to me. I find that situation can be more intricate. Take face value. We've all seen the story on social media. That at the beginning. Looks like her than you look into like. Oh there's a lot more to the story that I saw in that quick soundbite that quick video that was put out there. We take what someone does or says and make a snap judgment so this we encourage us to think through situations that we are in unless tried to avoid a hot take a snap judgment on what's happening maybe withhold judgment until we get a little bit more information on what's going on and then once we have the information then we can pass judgment on what's going on. It's definitely thinking that I've been working on in my life. I probably know all the information. It's like Paul Harvey used to say and now you know the rest of the story. Thank you for listening to this. Week's be great today. I always hope that this brings us a little bit more of an inspiration in some way and my goal is something that I'm working through. This week is something that can hopefully help you in your
Give yourself a window
"Done choosing a range rather than an exact time can cut down on all kinds of time anxiety. We've all been on the receiving end of time windows. The groceries will be delivered between ten and noon. The Cable Guy will come sometime between the window of nine am and five PM. We hope wider ranges are often frustrating. As you cool your heels waiting for the Palmer to show up but tighter range is can be smart. If you like me get quite worked up about being on time to things. Arranged turns down the temperature. A bit for deadlines that don't need to be that strict so to be clear. This tip is mostly for the punctual. Folks listening to this though if you listened to productivity podcasts. My guess is that you're more likely to fall into this category than the average person as I'm writing this many of us haven't gone anywhere for sale but as life goes back to normal people will make plans and plans often involve times if someone tells me to be somewhere at ten. Am I tend to figure out how long it will take me to get there and figure out how long it will take me to get ready? And then I build a buffer so I will be arriving by nine fifty seven. Am even if there is traffic or a complicated parking situation and that's fine for a really important. It's less necessary if ten families are all meeting up at playground or if I just need to touch base with someone briefly by phone my personality is such that if someone tells me to get them something by two pm on Thursday I will then move heaven and earth to do so without asking. If there's a reason for that timing. This can be frustrating for everyone if it turns out. There isn't really a reason so recently as I was in a seemingly endless email chain about setting a time for a call trying to figure out an exact time that would work around baby feedings and such. I realized that I was better off. Saying hey couldn't just call you sometime between ten and eleven. The person agreed especially since I made it very clear that she didn't need to sit around waiting for my call. If it didn't work to pick up when I called well we'd try back in a little bit. I was so much more relaxed about this than if I'd tried to set an exact time and I'm sure that came through when we did connect if you find yourself doing similar acrobatics to meet an exact time that doesn't have to be exact. Maybe you could try giving yourself a window to we'll be at the playground around two or two thirty and would love to see you there or I can give this report back to sometime next week. Unless there's a more specific time you need it by now if you are not the
Who's Got Your Back?
"Today let's look at the positivity the of these totally present some visible but mostly invisible relationships together as a team one can grow and help those in the team grew as well there are so many corporate examples of executives and their teams built or ears of working together and the end result. All of them growing together. You can see that kind of symbiotic relationship in government as well. Further there are several family businesses that have grown and flourished so long as the family remained united and stood together. They break up and try growing their individual shares. They have discovered how difficult and a slow process. It is to do that. Besides the Waiting Nibble away at their pie. Take flight and there are none but just them guarding. That Pie
Savor It. Or Don't. by Kate Galliett of The Unbreakable Body
"Saver it or don't buy cake. Elliott of the unbreakable body DOT com Ease slowly may only get your first been. Yea once the lead character in the movie chef said to his son as he dove into a plate of venue as well walking along the streets of New Orleans. That line hit me in the face hard. I'm not even sure what happened for the next few minutes of the movie as that line tumbled over and over again in my head my mind exploring it evaluating it examining it from every angle. I'll seeing things from a whole new vantage point. I experienced as you get a lot of first experiences in life but you only get all of them. Once they're not all majestic in fact most are in your day to day life. If you've noticed that the first time when out on a walk you notice. The trees have changed for the season. The first time you have a real meaningful conversation with a new friend who is becoming a best friend. The first time you meditate. Don't quit after four minutes. And then some are majestic as the first time you stand in front of the mountain range. You've dreamed of forever the first time you realize you're turning dreams into reality. The first time you fall in love with a person with yourself with life those moments life is not life without them. You've day to day existence. And then you have first experiences as AL watts puts it. When discussing polarity quote the are different but inseparable size of the same coin there the pulse and the interval in any vibration and quote first experiences are as much moments themselves as they are the times in between each moment. Same as a wave is as much a crest as it is the trough we notice. I experience is happening. Are you savoring them? I've been known to rush into things. I chewed dark chocolate. Instead of waiting for the flavor. Nose to expand more fezzet melted on my tongue. A go full tilt into moments a between First Cup of coffee of the day and already picturing a second cup. Nothing gravely bad came of those moments the rushing in worked the chocolate tasted of chocolate to his always a second cup of coffee so might change. We are ever-evolving creatures. I am you are arraigned before. About how finding on your daily life a responsibility bestowed on all humans by the way is sometimes as easy as expanding your field of view Might have been sitting just left of where you were looking until you expand your field of vision here going to keep missing it. Things can be good and yet. That's not a shackle that needs to keep you from exploring further. We realize something just off to the left of your field of view and you know that exploring it will be good for your growth. Even if you don't hang onto it as a key. Part of your operating system for life is worth expanding your view and exploring further the value of rushing right in the rush right in route works. But it's by design a one note thing to rush in means to operate off in early impulse rushing in by. Its very nature. Means that you that first signal that this is good and you dive right in on the hunch that what follows will also be as good. Think if that been. Yeh Boy was eating the first bite. I'm sure was a fluffy powdered sugary warm signal to his brain that this is good and naturally he dove into get more as quickly as possible. It's understandable our brain says my God that is good. Give me more and do it quickly. There's a time and place for doing just that sometimes just rush right in. Do It do it other times when you want to explore the edges of your field of vision on what your understanding of first experience is slow your roll a bit and check into the moment instead of checking through the value of savoring. You cannot stop time the time this first experience is happening in. It's already moving past you. You have no hope slowing down unless you actively engage in savoring. What's happening in this first experience to save her a moment a meal a book a person is to become intensely aware of your presence with that person thing food or place to save. Her is to acknowledge the goal your in the process of achieving the site. You are in the process of seeing the feeling you are in the process of feeling. It's you mu seeing this doing this feeling this being this. You'll bank the memory in your mind or on your instagram. You'll talk for years to come of the taste. The efforts the views of this. I experience we catalog. The feelings the depth the richness of this. I experience as well if he savor it. Not only are you far more likely to create a textual memory. You're capable of stepping outside yourself for just a moment creating space to witness yourself. Witnessing the moment so is open
Record what makes each day special
"Today's tip is to record what makes each day special one of the most common observations. I've heard from people about this spring's long season of social distancing is that life started to feel like the movie groundhog day. The main character lives the same day over and over again without the usual markers of time days can merge into each other each indistinguishable from the last quarantines are obviously extreme examples of this but even during normal times people can get caught up in the daily grind. Tuesday's commute is indistinguishable from Thursday's commute. And you have to look at the calendar as you wonder. Is it Friday yet but today is not groundhog day? Each day can be its own little jewel noticing and writing down what makes each day. Distinctive helps us value all our days during disjointed or normal times in April Jewish friends celebrated Passover at the Seder. The youngest person traditionally asks. Why is this night different from all other nights? The response focuses on features of the meal that commemorate the deliverance of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. Now of course. Passover is a major holiday and so of course. This night is different from other nights but as I wrote in my book off the clock. I believe this is a worthy question for ordinary days to what distinguishes this day today from all other days of my life even if you happen to be sheltering in place what distinguishes this day from all other days of sheltering in place. We can think of all kinds of distinctions. Today is different because we made s'mores around the firepit. Today is different because uncle rob had a virtual birthday party and every family on the call had made their own chocolate cake which is uncle. Rob's favourite. Today is different because I rearrange the furniture and the guestroom. So it's more conducive to my working from home. Today is different because we hiked a new trail. Today's different because I colored my own hair for the first time. Today is different because I figured out how to edit a video. Today is different because we received our first vegetable delivery from a local farm. Today is different because the kids taught the dog to shake hands. Today's different because the lilacs started blooming. These are not life changing differences but there are enough to make the days special and distinct and worthy of notice if we choose to notice them so set a time each day to record what makes each day special. Maybe as part of your dinner routine you could ask your family to share the days gems or at bedtime. You can jot down these distinctions in a journal. Notice them celebrate them because though all time passes when life is ultimately short. It's a miserable. Bergen to wish time away each morning. We wake up to new possibilities. It behooves us to value each day. We are given
Time To Reinvent Your Life?
"How are Ya how awesome is weekend? It was a lot around here. I live in new SMYRNA Beach Cherry here in Florida outside of Daytona. And over the weekend. They lifted a lot of the stay at home. Motorola restaurants stores started open. I gotTa tell you also from the beaches and it was really odd to see all these people in bathing suits and boats and stuff and headed to the beach. It's it's been so long this kind of an odd feeling actually. Don't even know what to think about it right now. Just don't know configured out though it is what it is right. Also the daily boost from motivation to move dot com every single day. No matter what you gotta figure out stuff certainly happens to make you work at it. You have dreams ambitions desires things you WanNa do things you wanna get on track or back on track with it but at the end yeah life gets in the way and we have to deal with it. There's one thing I know for sure. Life will always get in the way. They're always challenges. They always have to be managed in some kind of strange way we have to. Sometimes her head screwed on straight. You know something that I learned in the past couple of weeks and I would have been talking to it just a ton of people and this is one of the biggest lessons I picked up on everybody. Everybody has a different perspective of what's happening right now. Everybody depending on what job there in. What part of the country they live in some people are are not working at all. Some people are working endless hours. Some people are still getting paid. Exactly what they got before but they're working eighty hours a week and have no time to do anything that will frustrated. Some people just want to get back to work in the can't everybody's in a different spot and yes a lot of people affected by this virus. A lot of people have been lost in this virus so I've really gotten perspective of that just by talking to people all over the world about how were all writing this same storm. Many many different boats together and so people in small boats and some enlarge votes. It's crazy but hopefully God willing. It will settle here soon. My name is Scott Smith the founder and the chief motivating officer here at motivation. Move Dot Com. I'm sure happy you're here today. There are tons of places you could be. This is going to good place because we're talking about a little reinvention today. A favorite topic of mine and something has been a lot of time helping a lot of folks do. There is no better time than right now to reinvent yourself maybe a little better or a little different as we move forward and help you do that. I want to invite you to become a member at motivation who've dot com where we have the daily news premium version of this show which comes out Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday and the operation reinvention to you on Saturday all commercial. Free no promotions. Nothing is just pure coaching every single day. Plus the operation reinvention coaching call. Were doing zoom calls at spent a lot of fun to chat with people all over the world the Fisher Passion Program David Nugget. Email the daily text message so much energetically put together basically to do one thing. Help you stand up. Take a step and repeat every single day no matter what gets in the way. I've cut the price during this pandemic is going on. We dropped fifty percent down to nine ninety five contracts. You can cancel anytime. Never had a price this low before so if you join us just go to motivation who've dot com get started today so here we are. It is Monday and that means I was thinking about things I want to do in my life now this weekend you. I'm always talking about exploring the possibility well. I got to explore the possibility this weekend. A friend of ours owns and I'll pack a wrench to and as you said. Hey can you bring your tractor over and help me move some dirt around and you have to put some dirt and some stalls can yell at thought out and get detractors. I've got trigger and I I took my track over there. John Deere and I spent the entire day helping her. But you know what I learned. I explored the possibility of doing dirt work in a neat cool tractor all day long and I. I realized I wasn't going to be something I ever aspired to do. As a living not nothing wrong with it but it wasn't going to happen so I knew my homework. I'M GONNA look at my world and say what do I like about my world? What I don't like about my world and okay do I like to attract or work for my neighbor. Well sort of venue. She asked again. I would help but would I try to avoid it. Heck Yeah it's not really my list right now and that's all we have to do with homework. That's it. We look into our life the things that were doing the things we'd like to do things that we don't like to do things you wanna say yes to things. We want to say no to decide how we're GONNA handle it in the future when you do that when you assess how your life is going to be and you just a few minutes every single day. I like it every single day. You want so if you want to. You'd be surprised what happens if you don't do that. You'll be surprised. Ten Years Fly Pie. And You wonder how you got there. See it every day. So do your homework. If you need help remember get the perfect planner. It's in the resource section of motivation. And WE'VE DOT COM easy to find. They're just click on that and download it and watch the video. It'll explain to you how to how to hold time for yourself. Maybe you got some extra time right now you can use it so let's talk about reinventing. Costano a pretty good time right now. I mean the past month has created a nothing short of a massive disruption in our lives. No doubt about that. So why not take advantage of this journey back to normal and maybe switch things up now? This is a nonstop never ending specialty and expertise. I have done this for a lot of years really being able to go come where I am and just become something different when I want to and helping so many people do it so I have a lot of experience in this world and it's a great chance to do it in fact it's been said you've heard the phrase before never let a crisis go to waste. We got one right now right. There's a disruption right now and when something has been disrupted you have a chance to wiggle and move and shake and bake and do everything you WanNa do. Make a few changes so when he wanted some tweaks as we move ourselves back to what is going to be normal here in the future or you WANNA total reinvention. The process is very much the same use the same steps. No matter what you WANNA do. Little suffer big stuff ready number one and this is a big deal and it's usually the one that people have already done but don't realize they've done it. You must acknowledge that something needs to change. Doesn't sound like a whole lot but you'd be surprised. Lots of people are trying to fix all kinds of things and not recognize as underlying change. It has to happen so when you recognize. There is something that needs changing. Listen to your gut into crisis. We're in right now. Lives are disrupted and you're thinking wait a second. How did I get here? How did this happen? Whether it's my fault. Non My fall how could I have avoided this? How could I made it easier and that gut feeling might be telling you make a few changes so if and when it happens again you're in a different spot number to be honest your inner thoughts and your feelings are real. We ARE EMOTIONAL BEINGS. And so that's where it's GonNa come from now. We have to transfer that into logic right but they are telling you the truth. They're telling you something has to change so listen to what's in there really reading yourself. An honor what. You're feeling. Translate that into actions. You'll see what happens. So first acknowledging ing that we really need to make a change in order to get the the impact that we want and to be honest with these feelings are yours. A lot of folks will say yea. I don't know it's kind of running around my head. Coaching and work with people one of the biggest things I do is validate that feeling. Validate that thought. I tested and validated. To make sure it's real and often in the process they go out the way you said it back to me. I can see that. It's this right so honored that clearly understand why you want to reinvent something you gotTa know this now. The wise always a very powerful thing but when you understand exactly why you WANNA make some changes and really feel it. It's GonNa get you excited. And that is a power that will move you forward through the journey. You're about ready to take. We should ask yourself a favor question. I think I got this the book the One thing. What one thing can you do or not? Do that will have the most significant impact on your life. It's an extremely powerful question. You're trying to make a reinvention of yourself because if you're trying to move in a certain direction there is something you can do. It may be changing jobs and maybe starting a business may be quitting the job. Who knows what is going to be. I don't know your situation right now but there's got to be one thing maybe it's moving. Maybe it's paying off some bills. I don't know what it's going to be. But there is one thing you can do that or not do. That's going to have a huge impact and immediate instantaneous. Impact on your life. Don't be afraid of that. Go find it. Why take your time looking forward and dabbling around when you just think about it a little bit and figure out what to do? I want you to set a sprint goal. I thought about this when I wrote this down. I typically will say a ninety day goal so the at least ninety days I went to sprint toward at your focus goes in that direction. You WanNa make the change now. Ninety days is something anybody can do but I will recognize ninety days. It's a longtime particularly in the The upheaval we feel these days. So my first thought was well. Let'S CUT BACK THIRTY S. Push everybody for thirty days and do that and I like thirty days. Anybody can do thirty days so I'm going to give you a little bit of leeway here I want you to sprint for at least thirty but a fixture think three months if you can hold on for thirty days and then go ninety you will change. Your Life. I promise you a lot faster than you think it won't be the all-time
Mediocrity is an Integrity Problem by Cylon George
"Mediocrity is an integrity problem by Salon George of spiritual living for busy people dot com to feel like your life is mediocre. Maybe a bit confused about why you feel that way. You've got the six figure job. Two and a half model kids a thirty five hundred square foot house with a two car garage a summer home. Great School district exotic vacations social acceptance and esteem on paper. You have everything society tolls you would make you feel whole. You're doing better than ninety percent of people on the entire planet. But somehow you still feel like a loser so you buy a bigger house trade in the cars for more luxurious ones upgrade to the latest computers and smartphones work longer hours to gain a competitive edge for that promotion. But you soon realise that having more doesn't make you feel better about yourself. You feel completely lost because you don't even like the job you fought so hard for and the fancy cars are training your
"Now me dreaming big has never been about money or fame. I just happened to get it along the way. It's about the process of continually seeking to be better and my prayer. From the time I was a little girl was God. Use Me use me. Guide us me and it just so happens that God chose to use me in the world on a platform that caused me to have money and fame. I see that very clearly in my life. Yeah it's so important and what a great job you've done but that's that's the way. God is his dream our life big many times. We limit him. Because we think we'LL OPRAH I don't have the Education Ronald have the money I don't know the right people but what God never tells you to figure everything out. He says if you believe all things are possible and so I think that's a big part of it is just yes. Yeah taking the limits off him so I would have to say. We talked about this when I came to your house and interviewed you and Victoria that from a little girl I was looking at. What did I really believed? I believe I would sit on the on the second pew from the Front on the right every Sunday. That was my spot. I was baptized when I was eight years old and I really did believe when I look back at my life. I believed I was God's child and I believe that because I was God's child being born in Mississippi being born in the segregated South They Wanna. I really did believe that anything was possible for me. And that's what is carried me to the space and that's what we want to offer you all. You become what you believe and to believe that you are created by the power that's greater than yourself and that to live in that space means anything's possible and what you want in your life. What you really want is not your little piddly dreams for yourself. Because I had some piddly dreams. What you want to do is to be able to live in the space. That Beautiful Bible Burson Accident Says in God I move and breathe and have my being. You want to be able to live in that space of God's dream for you so the question I think is what is God's dream for you. We want to talk about. What is the difference between dreaming and wishing for something? I think most people spend their life. They wish for things they want things. I want a new car. I WANNA different than talking about. What is the big dream for yourself? I think the big dream for yourself is tied onto your purpose. It's bigger than just you. Meaning that your dream should be connected to helping other people as well. When it's when it's just like you said it just got a lot of money. I want to do this. But it's very different when you say I want to fulfill my purpose so I can be a blessing to others as well. Of course you're going to take care of your family. But it's it's about fulfilling your purpose which is believed. God's dream is always tops in some way to helping other people. Yes some way to making the world of whatever we have. We're here as a part of the human family to offer to ourselves and to the rest of the human family all right. So how would you save? I Love Kristen Miller said on facebook. I've never really known how to have a dream. I just existed hoping for the best but now I know dreams are important and I'm working toward realizing my dreams and obtaining them as dozen God meet you where where wherever you are with the dream he meets you in expands it. Yeah I think he does. I. I'd like to say godel super size going into the fast food restaurant. Your dream God's going to super size anything dream to tweet tweet. God will superstar the super size me. Jesus okay that's good. That's just I feel super size me. Jesus
An Excerpt from the book Reframe the Day: Embracing the Craft of Life, One Day at a Time by Adam M. Lowenstein
"An excerpt from the book reframe the day embracing the craft of life. One day at
The Butterfly Effect
"Might be familiar with the butterfly effect where one change has a huge impact later on. I feel that in my own life looking back to how it got here. I see many little wing flaps in my life have cascaded to get to this point. I had a while. Podcast organs how to listen to while working the host their show. Then let me to join a group. Gaming session called the group how the podcast hosts lead on a monthly basis. That let me to join a guild convert to rate at my friends. Silver Bolt joined which then led me to learn about podcasting. I could go on but the result is me being here now so this week. I want you to look back on the. What led you to the moment. You are at now being grateful for all that transpired for you to be here then. Let's look at what might be small moments coming up and see where those can lead us. Who knows what winging it might do.