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Accepting Our Needs
"Every one of us has needs. There's no avoiding them when our needs aren't met it's natural for us to feel stressed and worried frustrated and hurt but equally. Sometimes it can be really uncomfortable to accept that we have needs in the first place. And it's common for many people to enter a cycle consciously or otherwise where. They're both frustrated that their needs aren't being met and frustrated at themselves for having needs at all. Today we're gonna talk about needs including importantly how we can identifier core needs get better at accepting those needs and maybe even find some healthy ways to meet the needs of other people. Tell us. do that enjoyed today. As usual by dr cancelled so dad. How are you doing today. I'm actually really good for us. Thanks for asking and some adult children. Stop asking their parents how they're doing so regular opportunity. That's very welcome. If you're a got adult kids you know you'll maybe get a chuckle out of this part and also. Yeah that's pretty real very real and also the subject is enormously interesting in part because it is grounded fundamentally he and three and a half billion years of evolution of life on this planet nets as real as it gets the life and death struggles of all of our ancestors reaching back in an unbroken line of descent of course to the very earliest creatures who somehow managed to live to see the sunrise to pass on genes that passed on. Jane's that became eventually the blueprint for us. Today that's the framework fundamentally for addressing our needs and soda nest. That discussion of needs. That can seem very psychological. A little woo may be in superficial in that. Had profound life and death forging of our capabilities to meet needs. Survival and passing on. Jeans is wonderfully interesting. Yeah so let's kind of talk about that and let's just start there in our book that we wrote together. Resilient we talked about there being three core needs safety satisfaction and connection. You've kind of already done that and your little deduction there but would you mind kind of explaining these briefly including sort of where they come from. We've covered some of this material in the past so we might do this kind of quickly. Great well this notion of the three major needs having to do with safety satisfaction and connection as umbrella terms is fundamental model really in biology and also in psychology and boil down. If you think about yourself maybe. Twenty thousand years ago excluding around the south of france during an ice age trying to avoid sabertooth tigers. You're a hunter gatherer. You're trying to get a meal or yourself. A million years ago in a small hamad band who were able to make fire and manufactured tools with brains roughly half to two thirds of the size of you today even further back about yourself starting to crawl out of the primordial sees three pro izzo well three hundred and fifty million years ago. Your early lizard like creature. It had i- hop scotched a little bit rock. Anyway what are you gonna do. What are you gotta do. What do you need will number one. Don't get don't die today strata. That's a big one number to get a meal. Get fed each some today. Okay so now. We're we're moving the satisfaction satisfaction the then third if you can procreate pass on your genes or fast forward it to stone age humans or us today. Basically don't die today get fed today. Get a hug today That kind of summarizes our needs. And if we don't meet our needs fundamentally especially biologically for a protracted period of time you know what happens for us. i. I have some guesses. You die yeah okay. Yeah so it can get very very real. Yeah for sure. So maybe bringing it into people's experience these days one of the reasons that the pandemic and all of its associated challenges has been so tough for so many people is that in a manner to attacked each of those core needs. It's attacked her. Need for safety because while it's a pandemic it's a deadly virus. It's attack our need for satisfaction because we can't get as many of the things that we used to get and certainly attacked our need for connection where we're more disconnected from people. Were more isolated. We feel more separated. Were doing this through zoom rather than doing it in person you know whatever. Your personal example is the ultimate anchor for meeting needs is raw physical survival so at the ultimate point where potentially dealing with hazards or situations could be in terms of physical body continuing think of that is the most route challenge to the need for safety and we can also be in situations where we starve to death. We cannot access food a lot of hunter gatherers and even agrarians even fairly recently face starvation and even in america today there are millions of people who day to day live with what's called food insecurity and it's estimated loosely that about a billion people worldwide. Go to bed hungry every night. And so this is a real to okay. That's an example in which the lack of satisfaction in a sounds as anchored physically. And we can even say it as well. Socially there's research that shows that certainly in early childhood if infants toddlers who are put into really situations because they're given up for adoption and then they're just languishing and some hospital and nobody touches them for long periods of time or prematurely born infants. Who were not touched. That too can pose a lethal threat but much of the time especially in modern developing countries challenges to the sense of safety tend to be more psychological indicated by feelings of anxiety where anger or helplessness. Those are three big flags challenges to the need for satisfaction that could have to do with accomplishing things or feeling successful or making more money. Being able to access pleasure of different kinds well impediments to the meeting of these for satisfaction are marked by feelings of disappointment loss frustration or immobilization or marked by driven us too extreme and addictions
Finding Connection, Self-Love, And Thriving With Chronic Illness Ft. Nitika Chopra
"Hi everyone. this is tiffany. And you are listening to this. Episode of tiffany and the podcast. When if you are new to the podcast tiffany and you is a podcast chatting with friends. Who are using their voices and platforms to cultivate compassion. Change and creativity. Today i have with me. Nigga chopra who is founder of chronic kahn which is incredible community for the one hundred thirty plus million people who live with chronic illness in the us. High nigga. I tiffany thanks for having me. We ended up getting introduced through nate. Nichols he's a big fan of yours. And by the time you were thinking about launching your online community chronic khan and then we emerged on clubhouse and we've become much better friends since then. I always like starting with origin stories. What led you point of really thinking that cronica needed to be in the world. Well i just have to say. I'm so glad that clubhouse brought us closer together. Because i do feel like it was nice that there were all of these touch point in then being with you and clubhouse has been so special and the way i would start by origin story is that it started when i was probably ten years old and i was diagnosed with my first chronic illness. And so there's so many things. I could say about that journey and i know you and so many of your listeners have been on their own journeys but their bodies but that has definitely been my greatest teacher in my life and so when i got diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of ten i just saw my whole life through that lens. I had it in a very debilitating way. Sometimes people get psoriasis. It's maybe a small patch or in their scalp which is frustrating. For sure but for me i ended up having it covering ninety eight percent of my body and i couldn't really move without severe pain so it was everything. It was the way that i saw everything. It was the way people saw me. And then when i was nineteen i was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Which just really impacted me in a whole new set of ways. It made it really hard for me to walk without severe pain because my joints were painful before it was my skin was painful and now my joints added to it. So as i'm sure you and so many of your listeners can relate. That was the lens that i saw everything through. I try to be positive. I have a really strong spiritual center and that really helped me through a lot of those challenges but it also shaped me to want to help people. Because i felt like there were not enough resources almost no resources when i was going through all of that that were there to really support be especially emotionally so i'm not a doctor. I'm not a practitioner. I'm a patient so pretend to try to heal people but just that emotional support of like yeah. You know. i've got somebody. That knows exactly what i'm feeling. I don't have to explain to this person. Why i can't walk the five blocks or i need to take a cab or i actually can't help with moving this box or whatever. I don't have to talk about it. It's just like no. I'm not going to do that. And you just move on. there's no heaviness there. So i never really had that growing up so i think that just has a lot to do with the story. Weiss started doing the work that i do thanks for sharing there's a term that was coined by someone in in the disability justice. Face a manguson cheeses the term access intimacy and. It's this idea that when you show up in a place you don't have to ask for permission. People just get it and it sounds like the community that you've created or what you were seeking was some level of that access intimacy was the turning point of really moving more toward advocacy and really wanting to create that community. There was definitely a turning point for me i. I started my career about eleven years ago. And you know at that point. No one was talking about chronic illness or disability or health. Really in the truest sense of the word. There was this health and wellness industry. That i sort of found myself being a part of but truthfully it never was very helpful or felt very supportive. It was just my only option at the time. And so i gravitated towards that i started an online magazine talked a lot about self love. I talked a lot about beauty as it relates to self love. I did that. Threw a lot of media opportunities that i had which was really great but there was a turning point and i would say after the twenty sixteen election. There was just a reckoning that was happening for so many people and myself included and it felt like i thought i was using my voice before i thought i was standing up for people that i wanted to stand up for and for what was right but there was something after that election that made me realize there was so much more that i could be saying and sharing and really it was a refinement process for so many people. If this is going to be this dark where are we going to find the truth. And the light in the midst of all of this and so i really had to go on that personal journey and i spent a couple of years actually in two thousand sixteen twenty seventeen asking myself a lot of really hard questions realizing that i wasn't at all speaking up for the things that i i never talked about my house
Interview With Roy Kinsey, The Rapbrarian
"Tell me if this is true. Your parents met in a way that kind of foreshadowed your future in a little bit like they didn't mean a bar that didn't mean party is actually true that they met at a library. Of course it's a. I've had my own moments with that story. But it's the absolute truth. My mother was going to interview at. What was the large libraries in sta cultural center and my father was working at a desk. Saugus he Slip some gaming but yet that's that's where they met and then my mother was working actually on the the floor where the music was where all the film were. The vinyls that was this is not harold washington library This is before perr washes number and They met their first date was purple. Rain of the movie yet differs date was to go see preparation. The movie that is not suspicious. I eight yeah yeah. My dad loved france and it was really interesting. Because when i was putting out kinsey a memoir that is very reminiscent to me in a lot of ways of the story of purple rain Imprint the first place that i was asked to come pretty much to drop. The album actually was to first avenue for sold out show. And that's where my father lives now. My father has lived in minnesota for longer than twenty years. Twenty five thirty years probably which is why. This album is a purple winds wire at the vinyl herbal. But it was the first show that i was asked to come in do at prince's club where my father would walk at c be reforming in his hometown. Right before the shutdown so was the first and last show that i got to perform before we before the pandemic times matt. What what was it like for you. It was magical. It was so so amazing. I felt like it's called me. They're a felt like prince called me. You know called me to be there not knowing that things would shut down in a couple of weeks after that. But i think that it's sustained me in a way. I really miss performing and to be sold out show. I was called by desa so Of doom tree who lives in minnesota's a artist and author our own. Right of course asked me to come an open for her. So i do the sold out show and it was just one of the most magical experiences that i've had as far The reception was so so incredible and You know the people of minnesota really made me feel like a star that day in so it was just a lot of moments that were more magical more synchronised than even you know just the forty minutes i was on stage. It was just a whole magical experience that it's sort of like everything was leading up to that moment. Have you talked to your dad about that. His show yeah. It was so funny. My dad is very mysterious guy so when he came i didn't see him. He called me till we. It was a great show. And all that but i think just the way my mind works in the art. That was moving through in the art. That i was making and where i was in that space. I can't lie that i was like. I don't even know if he came. I don't even know if he was even actually here and van but me and my dad had this really interesting connection. I mean you have that connection with your parents. You have the connection with people that brought you into the world doesn't have to be so literal or on the phone or shortly proof or whatever life. I have that tie with my parents. My parents no when. I'm going through something whether i talked to them or not. Like they'll feel it from across town or prostate or cross country in so Randomly two or three weeks later. He sends me a video of me like on my last song. You know rocking the stage of okay. Right he was legit there. that's awesome. yeah. I mean as bad i think You know amazon. There's that connection. There's that sort of thing which. I'm fairly practical person. But there's also certain things like that that i just believe in you just feel something doesn't matter where you are I know you're also really close with grandma coming up as well right. Oh yeah my best details. Tell me more better ellen thompson. She was born in nineteen forty three in mississippi. And i love to speak her name. She was one of the first people that clap from me in made a really big deal out of me knowing how to read on my seventh birthday. She made me de. Protagonist of this book was a story of dr martin luther king junior. It should be around here somewhere. But it's right there so in this in this book that my grandmother gave me my tribute to martin luther king. Junior i am the protagonists of this book. And i'm writing a paper on martin luther king junior at tell the story of his life. But i'm you know in the beginning saying oh telling my cousins rookie creek turtle i have to write this paper on martin luther king junior Go into the story by the end of the story. I've told this whole thing. I turned it in. I get a on the paper. That is the book right. So not only. Did my grandmother clap for me. When she sees me reading. And saying that. I you know had a love. For words you should go to market a garden classes with me and sit in a walk me home and then when i began talking she would call me radio or lawnmower. She said because. I've talked so much if you call me that. And that was a foreshadowing in itself. Right i mean of me getting a on the paper. Maybe the paper was the black album. Right me. Being able to use my words for the upliftment of myself in marginalized communities in it was really just kind of like thinking about this is a power device and words in education literature a are powered by
Why there's no such thing as objective reality
"In the next few minutes. I hope to change the way you think about the very nature of reality itself. I'm not a physicist. And i'm not a philosopher. I'm a historian. And after studying the ancient greeks and many other premodern people's for more than twenty years as a professional become convinced that they all lived in real world's very different from our own. Now of course you. And i here today. We take it for granted that this just one ultimate reality out there. Our reality fixed universal world of experience ruled by timeless laws of science and nature. But i want you to see differently. I want you to see that humans have always lived in a pleura verse of many different worlds. Not in a universe of just one. And if you're willing to see this reverse of many worlds it will fundamentally change. I hope the way you think about the human past and hopefully the present and the future as well now. Let's get started by asking three basic questions about the contents of our reality. The real world that you and i share right here right now. First of all what is it the make something real in our real world welfare us real things material things things made of matter the we can somehow see like atoms. People trees mountains planet by the same token invisible immaterial. Things like gods and demons. Heavens and hells these are considered unreal the simply beliefs subjective ideas that exist only in the realm of the mind to be real a thing must exist objectively in some visible material form whether our minds can perceive it or not second. What are the most important things in our real world answer. human things. People cities societies cultures government economies. Why is this well because we humans thing with special. We think we're the only creatures on the planet who have things like language reason free will by contrast non-human things to us just parts of nature a mere backdrop to human culture amir environment things that we feel entitled to us however we want and third. What does it mean to be human in our real world. Well it means being an individual a person who lives ultimately for oneself. We think nature is made us this way giving each and every one of us all of the reason the right the freedom and the self interest to thrive and compete with other individuals for all of life's important resources. But i'm suggesting to you that this real world of ours is not a timeless no universal. It's just one of countless different real worlds that humans have experienced in history. What then would another world look like the real world that. The cosco athenians in ancient greece. Now of course we usually know the athenians as our cultural ancestors is of our western traditions philosophy democracy drama and so forth. But they're real world was nothing like our own. The real world of the athenians was alive with things that we would consider immaterial and thus unreal it pulsating with things like god's spirit nymphs fates curses oaths souls
Finding Your Tribe In The Clubhouse App Where Your Voice And Your Presence Matters
"Hey you guys welcome to. Yes she's driven podcast. I m here with jiffy accardi and we have been wrapping before. We actually turned on this video. And this is this is this is like one of the bad things that happens when you have really great synergy was someone who provide so much great content before you turn on the podcast and we're gonna see if we can replicate some of that for you so tense. I want to share what it is that you do who you are. I also want to let the listeners know that we are really doing a clubhouse series right now and we're interviewing people who are all over clubhouse freaking out on clubhouse seeing what you like about clubhouse how it might be destroying livens hell how you can actually really use this app away. That's healthy effective and not sure any of us are doing it healthy ineffective yet. But you know we're working on it exactly so Tiffany just share a little bit about your background. And then i'll start asking you some questions about hired how you working on clubhouse absolutely so my name's tiffany elissa cardi and i am in the community building space. So i feel like. I've really found my home on clubhouse as a social media application i run a global movement called gals that brench that brings together women through monthly curious events over happy hour and brunches and We come together to empower each other network. Get to know each other in help. Women find friends in all the transitions of life between having kids and getting married professional working life in all those pieces. You never realize how much you really need your your women around you and whatnot so we have one hundred twenty chapters around the world throughout the us the uk. Australia and canada. And so i spend my time creating all this events in also through this year we've been impacted by covid in doing in person events so been doing a lot of virtual events virtual but clubs in virtual brunches in all the things bringing spy guide. You just sound like us sound like like piece to a woman's heart because they think that all women we need each other and we just don't operate as well without each other. And i think especially a lot of entrepreneurial women which the she's driven podcast is entrepreneurial and men to But the point is is that like. I think it's one of the things that some of us are not even so good about making it a priority and then we wonder why we're resentful or frustrated when it's like we're not making us in our friendships a priority. So i love this chapter. This is amazing. Now talk this yeah. I was moving across the country doing consulting for higher education institutions in. So i would move every couple of years and i find myself in this boat like how do you connect with people and for me as a single young professional. You know i'd get involved in church Unprofessional joined softball teams. And things like that but at the end of the day just found myself kind of in this boat. Where i was like. I need to find my tribe of people in. Why isn't this happening for me. Because i've never had a problem doing it. And i feel like i was actually like a strategy like given to me by god's fires like that i was meant to create this aces and create the table and so it literally started out with like one invitation of like. Okay who do. I know i know five people in all you guys bring one person. Let's go to brunch. Like we'll meet all the incredible women that we known each others lives and then the concept was always invite someone so i was living in virginia beach at the time. Had just moved there a week before we did. This whole brunch concept Because i was consulting back and forth. I was starting to get to know some of the people in the area. We had over forty women that came together just by like everyone invite one person and then that chapter ended up growing to over two thousand women. I ended up moving back to san diego. Later that year someone else moved away. They started chaptered kind of like a joke and then went on to social media and start sharing like. Hey we have We have a chapter in virginia and then within a week we had five different people reach out being like. Oh my gosh. How can i started gals at brunch chapter. And then it's like over the last four years it just kind of like accidental entrepreneurship journey of like figuring out. Okay how do we scale. How do we make this happened in a healthy and sustainable way in also realizing oh my gosh like our generation is truly crying out for more connection in. So it's funny that we're looking back around with clubhouse because i think that's the phenomenon that's happening because we've gotten so driven into the social media world where like a one hundred twenty character status updates. Life is great. You know here's my life whereas like around the table people being and like they're like oh my gosh. Why is the so healing in what's happening. It's because there's a synergy in energy that's happening in just simple connection of coming together and so it's been a wild ride. I might hit. You know like just continuing to grow in figuring out okay
The Art Of Showing Up For Yourself By Kathy Robinson
"Living a mosaic life cathy robinson of athena wellness dot com. I recently had a conversation with christie mclean a multimedia documentarian coach and global advocate. Who shared an alternative approach for those who may have felt frustrated by past well-meaning career advice to follow their passion chrissy recommends welcoming all interests into your work by exploring activities you enjoy and creating a values aligned portfolio when she was creating her own portfolio many years ago and exploring themes running through her numerous passions. She asked herself this question. Are there ways you can connect your passions in unusual in creative ways so you don't walk around feeling splintered and fractured but instead make a beautiful mosaic of all these different things. I love the idea of mosaic career. In fact i love the idea of mosaic life. The word mosaic means to use tiny parts to create a whole image or object but the word originates from a greek term meaning to muse in other words to reflect or meditate to be absorbed in thoughts to wonder in dream. I applaud those. Who know what they want to do early in their lives. And never waver from that path for the rest of us a mosaic life is such a gentle approach that takes the pressure off of finding that one thing a mosaic like a puzzle suggests play if feels like a wonderful invitation to allow our imaginations to wander amongst the things we love and welcome all the pieces of ourselves the broader and more diversified the better if a mosaic approach sounds intriguing. I recommend a three part process that found to be effective gather curate and connect number one gather. Does the fun part where you get to collect. All of your interests can be like clues or insights in the form of words values images sayings lyrics poems or quotes. You can recall a time when you felt a sense of meaning and got lost in time. Maybe there are favorite books blogs movies podcasts or just times when you felt moved by something or someone the things on your list don't need to make sense nor do they need to have the potential to earn money. They just need to be things that stir you in some way number to curate. Next highlight the items on your initial list that you feel completely drawn toward at this time you can keep the full list for later reference but for now will down your list as if curated an art collection creating space can be to honor and work with the items that are most enticing and number three connect lastly think of the type of life he liked to live or continue living which may include how to be of service or provide value in a new way with that as a backdrop begin to look for themes in your curated less does may take experimentation over time to shape tinker and make some order out of the list. Here's to put all of this into action. Select one thing from your list and take a small step toward it. You can do some research or schedule a bit of time to be in that space with all your heart. Did he is to spend time doing something that increases your energy allows you to lose yourself for a bit and makes you feel great. Once you're done. You may find as i do that. If you do this routinely your mood will get you naturally begin to spend more time doing the things you love. It doesn't happen overnight but the more you enjoy this time. The more the sacred space you're creating will expand has will your ability to become the mosaic assist of your life journal reflections if money time and family support were no object. How would you enjoy spending your time each day. What is the one thing. You'd like to spend time doing for the pure enjoyment of it. How about you take one step toward
4 Absurdly Easy Things I Do That Make Life Disproportionately Better by David Cain
"Absurdly easy things. I do that. Make life disproportionately better by david. Cain of wrapped a to dot com. Lots of the things. We spend our energy on our worthwhile but some are a better deal than others. The benefits of my weight routine for example are worth much more than the effort takes. But that effort is still pretty significant. You have to lift a two hundred pound barbell quite a few times for anything. Good to happen. There are few things. I do and sometimes still failed to do that. Take almost no effort. And somehow make my life significantly better. As far as i can tell these four small things are the best deal going number one shining the sink before bed. I don't know where. Or when but i remember reading about someone who swore that her habit of her saint before bed was the linchpin of productivity and wellbeing. I have tried. It and ken corroborate her ridiculous claim. Readers have since pointed out that this is from the fly lady making your morning coffee beside a shiny sink is empowering self affirming experience main coffee beside a dull sink containing even a single dirty fork sitting in a puddle is comparatively draining and dehumanizing at a stray bloated noodle or two and it becomes strangely life. Destroy in my experience. One of two different people emerged from that coffee making process depending on the condition of the sink. One of them is sharp and ready for life. The other must fight his way to his desk from under some great -sential wait some grimy psychic debris that's inseparable from the maroon super amnon that greeted him this morning. The sun is his enemy not as ally in all his work will be up hill today. Different things probably need different techniques minus stainless steel. I use one of those magic white pass with a bit of comment and water. Wipe down the rim. Many chrome fixtures with spray in a dry cloth takes forty seconds. Might change your life number two going outside with absolutely no plan. At some point. In my adult life i developed a strange seemingly self-defeating habit at the supermarket i wouldn't bother crossing the store to get the last item on my list. Part of me knew that leaving that one thing that would make a necessary to walk six blocks to the corner store the next day. This is my sub-conscious screaming for help. The quiet wise part of my mind sabotaged my efficient supermarket routine in order to create an excuse to travel somewhere by foot. I now see our walking as an essential nutrient. It should require an excuse. Will we need to excuse ourselves from the kind of perverse post industrial arrangement where it is even possible to spend a whole day without traveling any significant distance outside on foot fresh air and bodily movement or always healthy of course but to get the full disproportionately worthwhile benefits of neighborhood. Walking is essential that you don't know where you're going if you have a destination or even a regular walking routine then you risk making the walking itself into a task something to be done with rather than something to do when i step out of the building. I don't know if i'm going to turn left or right until i'm doing it. I've gone on hundreds of these destination less walks and a regular route as not emerged. It turns out my body knows how to create a closed pauley on without my mind having to think about it. There's something life-affirming about any enterprise in which you rely on moment to moment intuition instead of planning and it's just a walks you can't muck anything up too badly at every corner. You just turn whichever way you feel like or maybe continue straight ahead. Let your feet aside. You'll end up at home somehow number three sitting on the floor and doing nothing for a little while blaise. Pascal famously said that all human miseries arise from our inability to do this. I think it's really just an unwillingness. He's right about the arising miseries though not knowing how to deliberately do nothing his crippling disease that leads to bizarre self-defeating phenomena like workaholic cigarette. Smoking ru smartphone. Behavior eventually worn. Pestle is sitting on the floor and doing nothing isn't exactly difficult but it feels very foreign at first. We are so attuned to being constantly doing acting evaluating and improving the to fully. Stop in this way feels almost as radical as your ignition at a red light and putting your feet up although it's a lot less disruptive to society.
Mindset And Blind Spots With Jarrod Haning
"Nama stay an welcome to live. Love engage. I am gloria grace rand and today. We're we're gonna be talking about breakthroughs and business hand. Let me let me explain what i mean by that a little bit. So you know how when you're in a corn maze and you're not sure if you should go left or right but when you step on a ladder. Suddenly the maze is no longer a mystery. Well that's what my guest at jared. Haning does for business owners by teaching them how to think at a higher level they are able to see the whole picture and suddenly obstacles that were blocking the growth no longer exist and everything he teaches comes onto this one thing a breakthrough in your business. Will i happen as a breakthrough in your thinking. Which i've loved so welcome jared to live. Love engage thanks for having me. I appreciate Having you here and let me just tell you a little bit more about This gentleman because He is an award winning speaker. And i can attest to this. Because i watched one of his fedex. Talks was very impressed with it. It's related to mindset performance. But he's also been on. Abc's nightline spoke on stage all across the country. He's got clients around the world. He's also been chosen by ted global as a featured speaker of the week and what makes him unique that he specializes in a nobel nominated process. That teaches you how to get a higher level and allows you to access different parts of your brain on demand. And as a result his most of his clients gone to double their income by purposely. Working half as many hours. And who doesn't wanna do that. You know offense not enough. He's also a classically trained musician Which is also equipped him with a unique set of tools for leveling up your leadership and when he's not doing that well except for during corona virus days. I guess you'd normally find him. Or maybe he has been still flying skydiving or mountain bike riding. And i love this. This is really fun. is that his. He says his most prized accomplishment was winning. The world tickle championship in the five-year-old category. So you have to explain that. actually. I real quick. Come on Okay told that is a fictitious title coming up and gave to myself. Well i like it. I only have one kid. And he's no longer five now ten so so so basically the the championship was at home. Is that you will vary call many years ago. Why like that i. I think that's awesome. So let's let's talk a little bit now about this You know the having a breakthrough in your business in part of this one of the things that you claim is that by normally. We are so focused on getting things done that that actually kills your productivity and and checking things off the to do list which i must confess. I do like doing that from time to time Is that it actually lowers your income. So why do you say that. So productivity is not about getting things done it's actually about causing things to be done When you check something off your to do list you don't solve the problem of why it had to be done to start with. And if you're the one doing the work well you're going to be the one doing the work again tomorrow And that is a bad strategy and we just can't solve with stubbornness even epic. Olympic levels of stubbornness cannot fix that bad strategy. So one of the reasons that trying harder Doesn't move the ball forward It doesn't work. It actually just masks. The problem is because trying harder working harder working smarter even this. These are just themes on a variation more of the same trying to work. Smarter is just coming up with more of the kinds of ideas that already make sense and those are the kinds of ideas that have you stuck to start with a working harder. Just as doing more of the activities that already makes sense to do and like i mentioned earlier When you check something off your list if it doesn't address what caused the demand to start with. You didn't fix the problem and no matter what you're doing in that block of time. No matter how good you are at it. There's twenty seven other things that aren't getting done and so this is just really sophisticated. Spinning your wheels
The Neurobiology of Peak Performance with Steven Kotler
"So early in the book. Stephen writes that the only thing more difficult than the emotional. Toil of pursuing true excellence is the emotional toil of not pursuing excellence. I thought that was a really striking idea. Sort of starter interview. I asked stephen torn pack that for me. It's not a new idea. Abraham maslow's psychologist in the fifty s by sang. Whatever a person can be they must be humans evolved to go after sort of to rise to their full potential to tap into their full capability and there are significant consequences. If you don't use the system for how it's designed and and that sounds weird. They're eight major causes depression two of them genetics trauma get the most attention on genetics. Alone will never caused depression or anxiety and trauma as a general release to most radic growth not stress. The store on the other six categories are what happens when you fail the optimize intrinsic motivation. The way it's been designed to be optimized and things along those lines to breakdown in saves system that allows us to tackle high hard goals which were built to do. if we don't it starts breaking down on us for with significant consequences. When i read that what i thought and i'm curious what you think about this as okay pursuing true. Sounds like something for the very few like that. Is that is sort of like your olympic athlete. Your see over major company. But i guess what you're saying is this. This is something that needs to be universal. So how how does somebody who you know. Just kind of normal life integrate. The idea of two excellent into their own life an interesting question. I think most of us have singer to that. We do. Maybe falls in the hobby category for us. Prove that for that matter that we would love to be great at. I haven't met too many people who don't have one or two things like that on this essentially the system is built for that and and the handle that capacity. It's interesting on the more important point though is in this is a point. I make throughout the book. Which is the book is about people who are really interested in tackling high hard goals. Right what would we might call through excellence. But it doesn't matter because people form has nothing more or less than getting our biology work for us rather than gets a so. If you want to have an easier time at work on monday to make better decisions on tuesday you want to be a little more productive on wednesday. Maybe some creative problem solving on thursday. Take your pick the same tools that allow us to achieve. pure excellence. Chur excellence are of the same tools that we can use to improve our performance at any level. That's the only toolkit there is which is our biology. You talk about how you came into this world of looking at extreme performance and you use the term extreme innovation and it started out. Interestingly enough wasn't a lab it was in the world of extreme sports and he were journalists covering it so just to get us kind of in your head and how you were called to do this type of work. How did you arrive to the place you are today. I became a journalist in the early nineteen ninety s journalists astounding career. Because you get to kind of exploit your curiosities right anything. You're super passionate about their You you could write about. And i was super passionate about psychology and neuro science predominantly neuroscience fascinated with how humans work and neuroscience seemed to unlock a level of of kind of human mechanism. It was super interesting to me on the other side. I was obsessed with action. Sports adventure sports rock climbing surfing skiing. Snowboarding in the like and this was the early nineteen nineties. These sports were just kind of nascent activities. The gravity games just starting the x. games had just been launched and there weren't a whole lot of writers who knew much about the sports and i did. I was super curious. So i was lucky. Enough to basically spend the better portion of a decade chasing athletes around mountains across oceans. And as you pointed out the nineteen nineties is often considered the great era impossible in action. Sports were more impossible. Feats meaning things that were believe. Never going to happen. Never been done never going to be done. Were just being done. They were being iterating upon and this caught my attention for all the obvious reasons like it. Just it didn't make any sense. Waves that had been twenty five feet at. That was the max we could serve some. They were one hundred feet tall. Like everything was happening Like that across across the board in all these sports so it begged an explanation but more important was that there was a real every man effort to what was going on the the athletes. I knew who are sort of reinventing. The limits of human possibility. They had difficult childhoods came from broken. Homes it very little education the deb. A lot of money is let drugs and alcohol. There was a lot of risk taking. And you know. I knew from the narrow size of the psychology that normally when those things show up in a population you have bad consequences. People go to jail. People die young. What they don't do is reinvent. The limits of human performance over and over and over again and. That's exactly what. I was seeing so that was sort of where this started for me. I wanted to understand what i was looking at
Failure Is Inevitable, And Necessary
"When i was a kid i used to downhill ski fairly often. I loved it and one particular winter. I decided to go out to my local ski hill quite a bit in an attempt to improve to get better one day i was out there and i skied all morning and when i went in for lunch one of the ski instructors who i just knew worked at that place was in the chalet and i mentioned that for all the times. I was getting out there this winter. I didn't think that i was progressing very much. And he asked me a question that still rings in my ear to this day over twenty years later he asked. How many times did you fall today. And i replied. And i was actually pretty smug and proud of myself. I said why didn't fall today. And he replied. That is why you're not getting any better. You're only doing runs and skiing in a way. That is already comfortable to you. That's not how you grow improve. You grow and improve by trying. New runs harder runs by skiing faster or on moguls or on more narrow runs you get better by putting yourself in new situations situations where you most certainly will fall a lot. That's how you get better. You fall a lot now. Let's all take a moment of silence for that probably freshman in college and his profound wisdom. You only grow when you fall a lot now. I can't think of many other life experiences. That require more personal growth than entrepreneurship launching a new product or new service into the market. It takes grit and resilience and strength and bravery and even if there are competitors in your market who have already have some history who've done the thing that you're going to do that product or service offering and that business is still likely new to you even if you're an expert at creating your product or delivering your service. You're likely not an expert at all with the surrounding skills. You need in order to make your businesses success. Things like sales and marketing communication positioning culture creation hiring entrepreneurs in the early years play so many roles in their businesses and most of those roles are new. And here's the thing if you're an entrepreneur or your go-getter in your professional field you've likely learned time and time again throughout your life. That failure is bad. It means that you did something wrong. You miss something important. Failure is bad and therefore you are bad so you cross those two things right the inevitability of failure and the negative relationship that most of us have with it and it is a recipe for friction and pain and suffering in business. Now what this means is that we need to get better and redefine our relationship with failure. We need to get better at failing. To how the heck do we do that. There was some clues in a research. Study published in two thousand sixteen in the journal of entrepreneurship theory and practice and these researchers looked at the factors that facilitate business success after a failure. How cool is that right. This is research that people are doing and they identified two factors. So i want to go through them. I they identified that people who have something called an intuitive cognitive style are better to go are better able to grow after failure. People with an intuitive cognitive style are people who are able to process murky ambiguous and complex information into insight and knowledge and direction that can inform future opportunities and future growth. So basically what that boils down to is. We're more likely to learn and grow after the inevitable failure that we're going to experience as entrepreneurs if we intentionally work to process the situation and dry out insight from it now. Let's take a minute to just review what we typically do when we fail. We avoid thinking about it. We wanted to just move on. And we don't wanna have to relive the experience of the failure that we just had researched found that it's actually the opposite thing that helps us grow from failure. If we can process through the information about the failure and draw out insight and knowledge we can move in a better direction in the future and seek out more opportunities for us to succeed. That's awesome.
'P' is for Passion
"I are bringing tia today. The letter p from our hope series which is passion. So how do we find our passion. How do we do that. I kind of want to go back to one of our guests that we've had on our show and pre kumar who was from india and she brought up something really really cool and she said if you wanna have passion. Take money out of the equation and seriously. Is that not the truth there. What zinc about keith. About what you guys would do or what you could accomplish if money just was not it right like you took money out shane. What would you do. What what kind of things would you take. Part in i would travel. Yeah exactly and so. Would i write because that. I'm totally passionate about traveling. And so i just want you guys to to think about that. What kind of things would you do if if money was not a factor in it wasn't in the equation so Gary voinea check. The often is called gary v. 'cause a lot of people can't pronounce last night but he's an american belarussian entrepreneur and he said skills are cheap. Passion is priceless and that was really cool because yeah we can learn a skill and it's pretty easy to to get right but how hard is it to get passion and keep that passion and and let it continue to drive you and i think that's that's really it. What i wanted to talk about was the word passion. And i looked into it a little bit and from its if you look at it from greek and latin meaning. It's to suffer and i thought that's interesting to suffer means passion. But think about it when you had when you're developing your passion. Whatever it is you have in order to build that passion. It's gonna come with a cost. It's going to come with some suffering. You know you might. It might take you forever to find your passion. But i just thought that was so fascinating that the were the word in greek and latin means to suffer and i think we have to go through some suffering to get to our passion Let me give you an example. So we love to travel. We talk about that a lot. But i didn't growing up i didn't we didn't travel a whole lot I had to learn that. That was my passion. Sometimes i can't live out. My passion can't travel every weekend. Because i don't have enough money but so i have to suffer through some of that in order to see my passion through. I just thought that was so fascinating fascinating to to see it from that side or that perspective the other side is the passion that we typically think about which is an intense enthusiasm towards something or a compelling desire to do something that that's my passion of traveling is just that i love to do it I don't think i was born with it. I don't think anybody is born with any passion. You have to find it within you know. When i was growing up a little child i loved to play soccer. I had baseball cards at collected. Had garbage pail kids. And i when i was thinking about this. I remember sitting at the table with grammy and talking about dodger baseball. She would be reading the newspaper and she'd be. Hey you know about this player this player and she taught me to be passionate about dodger baseball and still lives within me today. i can't see as many dodger games as i want to live Especially right now. But i love taking my family to dodger stadium and it brings me back to my childhood when we sat in the stadium watching ron say and steve garvey dusty baker and all of those phenomenal players that she allowed me to see the passion in dodger baseball. That i have today Now you know it could be. A people could have a passion for animals or art or hobbies like dancing or singing or writing or yoga. anything. But i don't believe that we are born with that. I think we have to develop it. And we have to go through that suffering like they're talked about to develop that passion. Howard thurman was an american author philosopher and educator in civil rights leader and. He said this. Don't worry about what the world needs ask. What makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. And i think that cannot be more true than it is right now. They we see so many people that are not coming alive. They're just going through life. Just almost robotically and i think if we have something that we're passionate about anything hopefully you can hear it in our voice when we talk about travel and that passion that really is a passion of ours and if we if we don't focus too much on what the world needs and what we think the world needs and that we come alive. We're going to be much more passionate simply about living life. I love that you brought up grammy. 'cause she she is an awesome individual and Sad that i can't spend as much time with her anymore. Obviously because she's passed on but She i think you brought up that in my life. One of the things that grammy was super passive passionate about was swimming and she. I'll never forget. She was the one that taught me how to swim. Grammy was a fish and so she was super passionate about the water. I mean grammy was passionate about a lot of things right. And i think that's where some of our passion comes from is from the some of the things that she taught us and i think that's why shane and i really love to swim so much. 'cause grammy would. We would always swim whether that was in the ocean or in her pool that she had in her backyard. But we would all i. I swear every time. I saw drama we were. She was always swimsuit and we were swimming. Yep that's what. I remembered so i i. I think that's true is it's like find something that you really love and i think a lot of times. It's like going back to your childhood. What is that thing that you did as a child that you don't do now that you're passionate about and then what's stopping you from continuing those things. Shane and i love dodger baseball. We got that from grammy. We also love swimming. We got that from grammy when we were kids and so i think a lot of times. It's about you know what what was it when you were a child. And why aren't you doing that thing. Now what what is stopping you from having that passion. I think passion is like a fire. That's with inside you rate the just. Nobody can extinguish and that. You don't want to extinguish it. Can night that fire and let it burn within you. i also want to bring up something That i was thinking about too as i was thinking about passion I think it kind of goes back to Another episode that we recorded with benita condie. And she said this in an. I think it has to do with passionate as well as that when we put our blinders on is that thing. We're passionate about just right here. And we can't see it. We can't we just have to take these blinders off to to be able to see that thing where we're passionate about typically. It's right in front of you. So if you don't have a passion or can't find warner of wondering how do i get more passion. It might just be right in front of you. You just have to open that fear up a little bit maybe to find that passion that theme that you're super super passionate about yup. I think often too often. We get comfortable in our comfort zone and we think well. We don't need passion in order to live and i would strongly disagree. I think we that's why we're talking about passion that's why it's part of our hope series because we strongly believe that in order to live life and come alive. You have to have something you're passionate about. It doesn't have to be many things it can but if you're passionate about one thing then it's going to help you So have you ever thought about your passion being something a tool to motivate and inspire others. Think about that.
The Top 15 Little-Known Secrets On How To Improve Your Focus
"If you don't know who i am. I am a author journalist and founder and executive director of the flow research collective. We study peak human performance where research a training organization on the research side. We work with scientists at ucla at stanford companies like deloitte energetics. Like that on the training side we work with everyday from the us special forces through executives in fortune. Five hundred companies essentially google etc microsoft. All the way up to the general public and focus on is kikkoman performance. What does it take to be your best when it matters. Most what does it take to level up your game like never before and most of my career has been spent studying peak performers. What i thought i was going to do today. Vision asked me to speak a little about my work on flow. Which will get to some of. You might be familiar with and a little bit about focus. And what i thought i would do is talk about fifteen things that peak performers know about focus and attention or routinely do surrounding focus attention and flow that most of us miss and this is something that is fairly common that i've noticed over peak performance. Meaning if you want to train people up in flow for example take repeat performers and regular people. Everybody can learn the flow stuff that works fine but afterwards peak performance can sustain it and most everybody else drop back towards baseline over time and a lot of that is peak performers to a lot of stuff through unconsciously along the way a lot of focus that the rest of us missed. So i thought i would talk about these things. We're going to start out with more general ideas about peak performance and get very very focused on focus as we move along so i wanna start with a really obvious statement but you see it very very consistently in all people formats which is a realization. That life is never going to be anything more or less than what you choose to make it. I like to talk about this. And i like to say there are only a couple things. We know absolutely for sure that we absolutely certain about the first is that we get one shot at this life. We know that for sure. Maybe we'll get more. Maybe we don't. We know for sure that we got one shot at this life. We also know we're going to spend about a third of it asleep. Which tells us that the only real question is what we do with the remaining two-thirds right. That's the only question that matters. And what p performers had figured out is that there's no magic pill nothing spectacular is ever gonna happen from them. I was just talking to andrew. Ubuntu neuroscientist at stanford and we do a lot of work with and heap says ever people former learn the same lesson. It is always crawl walk. Run there's no shortcuts. there's no way to get faster. You were going to crawl. Then you're going to walk then you're going to run over and over and over again. This brings us to the second thing which is building on the first. there are no shortcuts. There are no hacks in fact when we talk about p. performance after twenty five years of studying the neurobiology the science what goes on in the brain and the body when people perform their best can tell you. There are no shortcuts. There is quite simply getting your biology to work for you rather than against you. That is everything we mean by peak performance a different way. We sort of talk about this at the floor. Research collective as we like to say personality doesn't scale biology scales in other words. If you're in a looking through the kind of self improvement space at any level if somebody is trying to teach you what worked for them. They figured something out. This works may let me teach it to you. It's going to work for you. They're light they're absolutely lying. In fact that's a really great way to rue lives. I can guarantee one of the other truce peak performance. We don't like to say out loud is what works for me is almost guaranteed not to work for you. Personality doesn't scale why there are foundational things that have a lot to do with p. performance where you are on the introversion extroversion scale for example. How active are your dopamine receptors. Things like that. They are genetically coded for and laid down environmentally in. A lot of them are locked up before we ever become adults.
Acceptance: Is It The Path To Less Suffering by Allison Carmen
"Acceptance is it the path to less offering by alison carman of alison. Carmen dot com. The other night my friend and i went to see a show is very crowded in the theater so when the show was over it took a long time to exit. My friends started to get very tight about people not walking more quickly and was really bothered for my part. I really didn't think much of it. We were talking about the show as we were shuffling out and accepted the slow pace as part of what happens when you go to the theater part of my mind detached and looked at the situation. I found it so interesting that we were both having the exact same outer experience but such a different inner experience. My friend just wanted to leave the theater and in her mind it was wrong. How slowly everyone was walking but his thought created impatience and frustration on her part. I'm no buddhist monk. But i did the situation and enjoyed my time talking as we inched out the door when i got home a little harsh about my friend as i repeated the story to my husband but as i was repeating the story i was reminded of how i had been in a cab going to the show that nights and there was traffic. I got upset that there was traffic. And that i'd be late for the show recalling. This my laughed a little. There was no difference between me and my friend why we were both resisting. The moment. it doesn't matter if one person stinking the line should be moving quicker and another. There should not be traffic on park avenue at this time of day. These are just are stories of how life should be stories that make a stress and miserable and even if my friend and i are right about these situations does it matter what should be is not what is happening in the moment and because we are trapped in how things should be we are not free so what is the key to internal freedom and joy in a word it is acceptance often when i speak to clients about the idea of acceptance. Their knee jerk reaction. No matter what their problem is. Why would i accept. This is not right. Or i am not going to just give up and accept these circumstances but believing that. Something's right or that you have to give up is not what acceptance is for me. The acceptance is seeing things as they are in the moment in simply accepting. This is the experience you are having. The struggle of is happening should not be happening or this is unacceptable ends when we accept things as they are. Sometimes there's nothing to do about a situation as when we were leaving a crowded theatre or when we are in traffic the minute you accept the thing that's driving you nuts. You stop struggling with it and you stop feeling pain. There's nothing to do but relax in the present with the experience is what life has to offer other times except in subsea find peace and less suffering even as he remained open to changing your circumstances in the future acceptance does not change your passion or need for change allows you to show up in the moment with piece about what is an strengthened focused to make things different nowadays. Will my kids don't clean their rooms it rains. I don't have an umbrella or declined. Forgets are meeting. I try to smile and say. I did not expect this but i accept this. Maybe everything is okay. I take a big breath in men. Smile still tell my children at clean their room. They get home. I buy a five dollar umbrella that will break in a week and try to figure out an effective way to remind my clients of our meetings. I do all of those things at the same time. I am accepting the moment for what it is. This is a true path for less suffering and more ease in everyday life. Take a moment and think about a few aspects of your life that you are not accepting how would it feel to not struggle with it anymore. Can you accept a circumstance in relax into the moment came. Accept your situation is still try to improve your circumstances in the future. Try the mantra. I did not expect this. But i accept this. Maybe everything is okay and then see what shows up in your life.
Navigating These Troubled Times with Mary DeMuth
"Well hey there my friends. I am just so honored that you chose to tune in to the podcast today. One of my favorite things about this format is that we get to talk about important topics with people who have a lot of wisdom and today is no exception in fact. I'll tell you what. I've really been looking forward to talking to mary booth because she has insight into some of the hot topics that that honestly it's hard to have conversations around and today we're gonna talk about the importance of prayer and living biblically knowing the word of god so that it shapes our lives but then we navigate the emotionally charged often deeply divided world in which we live even in the church. I love it when god brings people across your path that you've admired from a distance but you get to meet in person and you think oh my word. They're even cooler than i thought. And mary demuth you or one of those people i just so appreciate your heart for jesus your generosity to people in your willingness to speak truth god's truth when sometimes it's difficult to here and We're going to be kind of delving into that but we're also going to be talking about your new book. Pray every day. But there's so many things i can't wait to talk to you about mary. Demuth welcome to the living room. Hey it is great to be in your living room in its cozy here. I love it. I love it your cyber living room exactly kind of a virtual living room where you located at mary. I'm in north texas near dallas awesome awesome. And i'm so we're just almost next door neighbors. I'm in. i'm just above you in montana. So several thousand miles away down the lane. That's right that's right will marry has just has had a voice in the christian women Round for so many years author of forty two books and her newest one is pray every day. which is i. Am i right to assume that that kind of came out of the your podcast. It did exactly I my podcast is almost three years old now and it's a very simple format. I read scripture. And then i pray it's about five minutes long And what prairie day is is one of the things i wanted to do is explore the actual prayers of the bible and This is a ninety day devotional. There's a little more than ninety prayers in the bible. Not much more. And so it was really fun to add. Never really seen that explored before says really fun to explore. What are the verse of the bible. And then what does that mean for me. And how do. I move forward in prayer. And what do i. What can i learn about prayer every single day for ninety days. That may change my prayer life. That's so beautiful it's a. It's a lovely book in so approachable. What do you think you know as you spent that time looking at the of the bible. What were some of the main things you learned about prayer. Well i think there's so many different types of prayers and one of the ones that i really appreciate is the lament psalms These are prayers of lament and they go through a very specific format And the fun thing about in a lament psalms it starts with y y y all this bad stuff happening and then it ends with reminding ourselves of the goodness of god. And that's been a really nice pattern for me to follow particularly when the world fell apart We can lament their scriptural foundation for doing that. It's okay to say. I don't understand it's okay to say where are you got. This is all part of the prayer life that we can have. That's so beautiful. You really do love that about the lord that he doesn't ask us to tidy up our prayers before we come but to pour out our hearts. And i i think sometimes we're afraid to be honest about where we're at why. Why do you think that is well logically. It doesn't make any sense. Because if god is omniscient he already knows and so why would we try to hide it from him. It's not gonna work. But i think we don't do it because we're afraid and i also think we don't really understand the relational aspect of god prayer is not a transactional thing. It's actually a relational thing. And so god is always pursuing us in relationship and when we pray were simply having a conversation with him and when we don't pray then we are not having a conversation with him so it's important that we just. He knows it all ready. And we're not gonna take them by surprise by telling them. This really hurts. This is confusing to me and the reason that we do it and the reason god wants us to do it is that he wants to be with us in relationship when we are going through stress and trauma. Yeah i and. I think that's a thing that we forget is is that he really is god with us and for me. You know god's just kind of doing something new in my prayer life that. I've actually been praying for years and it's that that it would become more real and more vibrant in one of the simple little things that has changed. Prayer from me is to consciously come into his presence you know. Sometimes i just pull out my prayer. I do my prayer. I do everything. I read my bible and then you know god bless dinner and all of that and i don't really realize the privilege that i've been given and we've been given to come into the very throne room of heaven. How has praying every day. Change that aspect for you. I think it's been more of even though god is holy holy holy and i i remember him such. There's a a deeper camaraderie. That comes the more i prayer. Pray and the more. I understand that this is real and like you said just imagining it or thinking of it is. This is a privilege and this is real. And i'm in god's presence right now and he has that word with is really powerful. We just jumped off of a season of Of christmas and advent and that word whisk emmanuel god with us is such a powerful word. And i think we lost a little bit of that. It's not about us trying to perform christian louis. It's about us being disciple by jesus.
The Simple Secret to Living a Life of Adventure by Jennifer of SimplyFiercely on Courage
"The simple secret to living a life of adventure by jennifer of simply fiercely dot com this month marks six month blogging anniversary and as a gift to us. Both i want wanna write about one of my favorite topics adventure because we all want more adventure. Our lives right after all adventures. What makes our blood pump are. Palm sweats our hearts race. Is what makes life worth living mr secret ingredient that little extra something that makes life amazing. The good news is there's a simple way to live a life of adventure if you want it. But i indulge me for a moment and let's talk about this blog six months six months sexually kinda hard to believe because in that short time this little blog has become a huge part of my life i work or at least think about blogging. Almost every day and most definitely changed the way. I think about myself marshy starring to consider myself as a writer albeit cautiously a term. I never thought i'd use to describe myself right up. There with minimalist. Blogging is bringing me a lot of joy. I love having a little part of the internet. That's all mine in passion project. Pour my heart into my love. Writing trying to capture the ideas that flutter around my mind like tiny butterflies sometimes with limited success and most of all i love having conversations with my readers about new ideas or hearing that my writing is actually helped or inspired someone. This seriously blows my mind. But here's the thing. My blog also scares the bejesus out of me every time. I pressed the ominous publish button on a new post. A little voice tells me my writing isn't original. I'm not sure i'm even making sense. And my personal favorite. Who am i to be giving advice to anyone. Then the voice continues a slightly hysterical tone. Why oh why kunia. Just keep your thoughts safe insecure inside your head. Now you're so exposed man. I feel utterly and completely terrified for a bit and then i put my big girl pants on and get over it from starting to notice a pattern about fear is not just blogging. I feel this way. Every time i step off a plane in a new country is always that split second when i wish i could teleport myself back home where everything is safe and familiar. I feel this way. Every time i start more quit a new job in either situation. There's always waves of doubts and the urge continue doing was comfortable even if i'm miserable rather than face the unknown and i definitely felt this way when i told my name husband. I loved him a week after we met when every inch of my brain was shouting. Keep your mouth shut in fact pretty much. Every awesome adventure in my life has been accompanied by soul crushing doubt ridden fear which lead to draw the only logical conclusion. Today's big secret in the point of this post. If you wanna live a life of adventure follow. your fear. speak was easier to stay silent. Go out when it's safe to stay home be vulnerable. Do the exact opposite of what your head is telling you to do and follow fear instead. Let it guide you off the beaten path. The one was clearly marked signs street. And instead down dimly lit alleys. Because you know that's where all the fun happens now to be clear. Life with fear isn't all roses following your fear doesn't guarantee success doesn't guarantee you won't get lost and in most definitely does not guarantee you won't get hurt in fact more often than not it leads you directly to those things. Fear likes to watch watching make awkward chitchat at parties roam the streets at two. Am looking for hotel and cry into your pillow with a broken heart. Fear doesn't guarantee that everything will work out but it does guarantee adventure my fault fear and quit a job. I hated and ended up in a new job. I heated even more blown away. I took an all expenses paid trip around europe. Learn pretty awesome at public speaking and sparked an interest in digital marketing. I follow fear. Got married to a man. I barely knew at twenty three and ended up divorced by thirty two but marriage prompted. Australia helped me to understand. True self man taught me a lot about what does and doesn't work in my relationships. I followed fear. Man hitchhiked with strangers traveled solo round. The world played with baby tigers. When i'm here telling my story with all my fingers and toes intact so you win some you. loose them. Present about winning or losing visit is about memories and skipped heartbeats laughter and tears purpose and passion. Adventure is waiting. If you're brave enough to follow it
Why Your Boss Will Live Longer Than You
"While your boss will live longer than you. Unless of course you take my advice by stella. Grisanti of wu pa dot com. I just bought a new shoe rack from bed bath and beyond and got so excited at the thought of seeing my heels all in a row so much so that i began to laugh at. Just how much this meant to me. But then i hearken back to what i learned in grad school and realized how this tidy endeavour signifies much more than my ms wannabe ainley organized. This is actually representative of a life threatening problem. That faces everyone. Who has a boss over talking about here. People has been the root of wars of struggle of heartache physical and emotional and of premature death for as long as we can remember or at least since the famous nineteen sixty seven. Whitehall study proved it so we're talking about here. People is the desire for control according to the two very famous studies. Why hall one away hall. Two one's rank in class status or hierarchy at work or in life have a dramatic influence on lifespan. Who do you think lives longer a busy. Ceo or secretary. I guess my post idol gives it away but keep listening according to the whitehall studies which examined eighteen thousand male civil servants in nineteen sixty seven and then over ten thousand men and women twenty years later. In a longitudinal study it turns out that those in a lower rank have morbidity rate of toys those who occupy higher level positions. The higher your position. The longer you're more likely to live wi- when the responsibilities of si yo cause more stress which leads to spite quarters all levels which leads to cardiovascular issues You would think but actually the study found that the less control you feel you have over your lot in life. The higher your level of stress pece other studies following this theorized that perhaps it's not so much control. The maybe the anticipation of not knowing. What's next same difference to me. So how'd you live longer or just as long as your boss number one outsmart yourself except that you don't have control over the events in your life because you really don't and the only thing you can control is reaction and thoughts in regards to events that you can't control that actually gives you lots of control. In fact it determines about forty percent of your happiness. Outsmart the power struggle. Choose your response to things. I come up number two cre- pretend pockets so maybe you can't control the fact that your company's biggest competitor just came up with the next best thing to sliced bread that your baby cries at night or that. The train is late buchanan. Cre- pretend pockets of control. Pretend pockets of control our little things that you do for yourself to make you feel like you do actually have control in life. This could be making sure you to the gym. No matter what every morning or can be eating healthy or it can be organizing your shoe closet number three except at all but create with intention this music sept. Whatever comes your way as information in an opportunity to create something new and better. If what you got wasn't exactly what you wanted for example. You thought he was the one but getting dumped over lunch might mean he's not accept that learn from the information you gathered during the relationship in continued to intend on finding love but the kind that actually does x. y. and z is all forgiving. Yourself like if your pretend pocket is going to the gym every morning and you don't make it this week except that other things got in the way and continue to intend on healthy lifestyle. Start going again tomorrow. Now that we're all worked up or at least i am off to right next about just how positive it is to be out of control. Sometimes we'll save for later another from her in just a second but i as a listener of this show. You know how important it is to put health. I don't let the chore of going to the doctor get in your way. It did for me before. But now i've tried plush care with plush care i get virtual doctor appointments right through my smartphone or computer. I just pick a time that works for me and book an appointment online. No crowded waiting room. No commute and no being put on hold. Mike can be diagnosed treated and even have a prescription sent to my pharmacy of choice. If needed was plush care plus they're available in all fifty states and most major insurance carriers are accepted. I've tried it. I've used it super simple and it works. Pushing doctors really care. They're available anytime. I have questions and will even help with managing my emotions.
How To Write A Book In 8 Days
"The first thing that i want to get into is for of you launching your next chapter for those of you in transition. One thing that a book can do is actually launch your next whatever it is or actually fuel your next purpose and so this lovely lady was me quite a few years ago. Actually my teeth were wider back then in that photo and cosmetic dentist so on the outside i had all of the traditional trappings of success. But there can anybody guests i was. I was internally emotionally dead. Those dead to the world. I had a relationship that was crumbling marriage. Actually that was failing. And i had no idea who i was. Can anybody relate to that story. Yeah yeah so. How do you go from that to then this well i ended up leaving the relationship and leaving everything behind that i knew to start new and today you guys are all in the room because you want to have either transformation for yourself for your business or for what is next to come right right awesome. So part of my journey was then. After i left all of that left. The career sold the practice and started pretty much over. I actually started to do more research. And because i'm a science geek at heart. I was in dental school for a very long time. I really wanted to know how leaders made decisions because we didn't really learn that in medical or dental school so that was one in two. I was always a big fan of behavioral psychology and human dynamics. Since i was a little girl so curious ity me to over forty countries to really understand how we process our emotions and why that's so valuable in leadership and then of course created a movement of emotional grit hence launching my next chapter so number two. What book and actually do for you is to differentiate you and since we have so many coaches and teachers and educators in the room you could probably relate to this that it can be a saturated market right. Yes yes. I'm getting some nods great and so i'm going to talk to you about matt's and matt. We actually spent some time together on one of the retreats that i did to get his book out and he by training was a financial planner for about twenty years and he worked primarily with baby boomers but he had a very personal story and his mother passed away with one hundred thousand dollars liquid cash in her bank account. What that meant was he really wanted to revolutionize the whole retirement process. He wanted to give other people the ability to have fun while they're retiring. Not worry about being penny pincher anything like that and they can actually enjoy some of their later years in their lives and so we created the retirement dream maker and so what that did for him was not only add some depth to the work that he's already doing in financial planning but he also merged it with personal development. Can somebody see that how that can actually add a differentiation factor and it was because of a personal story. Each of you have personal stories that you may or may not be okay to share however you may not realize how actually can impact somebody else. Credibility and trust is number three. That's exactly what a book can give you credibility and trust and we talked to you a little bit. I think in its presentation about the book of coaching. And what that has done in the actual goal is to transform the lives of coaches. The subtitle in the book of coaching is four. Extraordinary coaches so that in and of itself is really to claim the fact that we actually want to be able to serve love and be that for a lot of coaches that come through our virtual doors
Change And Why You Don't Have To Suck At It by Greg Audino
"Change in y. You don't have to suck at it by greg. Audino of greg audino darcom. How do i even begin this. After all changes one of those concepts that is really just too large fathom it exists in everything it's everywhere it always has and always will can arise me of outer space just a never ending inescapable and expansive vacuum. That we're all a part of whether we like it or not supposed and that the best place to start. The discussion is with those that. Choose to deny its existence altogether. And maybe we've all had a little bit of this in us at one point or another speaking of those that insist backwards and forwards that is no change in their life. Everything is always the same etcetera. The interesting thing about this is that some are happy about it. Others are whining about it. However you feel about it if you're one of those people that claim there is no change in your life. I regret to inform you that such a ridiculous accusation is rooted completely and utterly in fear. But where does that fear come from. And how can the same source of fear result in some people being happy and others being whiny well ultimately. The fierce starts having an overemphasis emphasis on the outside world by not having enough love or trust in oneself that ultimately your outer circumstances are left to define your happiness fear not very few people in the world are not in this boat and therefore not pummeled by the idea of change. What comes from that. However and effect slightly fewer people is what i like to call the invisible anchor. Most of us are constantly in pursuit of an anchor to our lives and unbending solution to the majority of our problems. We say things like one day. I'll have the perfect relationship or job or home at cetera and that will always be in place and it'll make all other things easier. We do this because we want to trust that something will always look after us and do the work of keeping us. Okay so we can go on autopilot. But the truth is that that doesn't exist and it doesn't exist because no outside source can possibly keep up with the constant change. That is your life so when things on the outside are generally fine though insides a mess you feel like everything is going all right in life. Man you're tricked into thinking that the inker is in place. Of course you try to ignore the fact that your situation can and will change. These are the people that are happy to deny change because they like things just the way they are and change. Threatens will soon prove to be a finite blanket of outer circumstances they of rape themselves in the only difference between these people who are happy without change and those who complain about no change happening in their lives is that one party likes their current situation and the other doesn't but is afraid that attempting to make change will only result in failure. Which of course will leave them without anything to believe in. The fact is it's the same fear of not having things figured out. Were scared of the emotional challenges that will face in accommodating to changes of all shapes and sizes because it requires work but this is one of those things in life that is inevitable so changes scary for those who try to pretend. That won't always happen and try to hide from it with is trying to prevent a potential oncoming change dean to fearful to initiate the change. You desire or resisting change. That's already happened. Of course you're setting yourself up for failure for as much as humans craved the uncertainty of adventure spontaneity and risk. We also created the certainty of believing we can always lean on something outside ourselves. Something's absorbed the brunt of the impact and keep a safe no matter what it's like children clung to their parents but we all know the truth. Don't we roll. Was one decision away from having entirely new life changes. Indeed that powerful in that possible so get a jump-start by reclaim your power over any doubt. You may have shifted attention to what you want by becoming. A dictator of change does changing relationship with the idea of change and being rattled when changes out of your control. Come to you. It can be a long journey inward to become one of the many that don't over emphasize the outside world be can begin by focusing on the change that you want for yourself. And if he'll entertain me. I think the following simple exercise will help clear the air and do just that whether we're talking about relationship change career change or whatever else right and honor three lists for yourself. The first is a list of things you want to continue doing things that feel right. Bring you joy and would be nice to keep around. The second list is a list of things. You want to start doing that which you want to incorporate into your life but haven't paid attention to in the past.
How compassion could save your strained relationships | Betty Hart
"Heart tackles the problem with canceling people in our personal lives and she asks us to consider a different approach. I am unabashedly. A daddy's girl. My daddy is the first person to have told me that. I was beautiful. He often told me that he loved me. And he was one of my favorite people in the entire world which was why it was really challenging to discover that we had a deep ideological divide. That was so sincere and so deep that caused me to not talk to him for ten years before the term was coined. I canceled my father in the last few years. Cancel culture has of course come into great prominence. It's existed throughout time but cancel culture in the bigger society is when a person in prominence says or does something that we the people disagree with and the decision is made to make them persona non grata. They are done. They are not to be revered. They are not to be a part of our world anymore and that is in the public realm. I'm gonna talk to you today about the private realm when we choose to cancel the people in our circle the people in our core the people who love us and who we love and it has been mutually beneficial but due to a deep and sincere ideological divide. We make the decision to cancel them out of our lives. I want to suggest that cancel. Culture needs to change and instead we need to move to compassion culture. But before i go there let me tell you. Two of the premises that exist when we indulge in cancel culture one. We have to believe that we're right. One hundred percent no possibility of being wrong and to the other person the person we're going to cancel clearly does not have the ability to change to grow to develop. Obviously both of these are problematic. Because sometimes we're not right. I don't know about you. But there have been times in my life when i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that i was right only to discover that i was wrong. Badly wrong completely. Missed the mark so if it could happen to me. Perhaps it's happened to you. Perhaps it could happen to
1908: Do You Know and Live Your Values AND Self-Connection as the Path to Well-Being by Dr. Kristine Klussman
"This is optimal living daily. Nineteen o eight. Do you know and live your values and self connection as the past two wellbeing. Both by dr christine clues men of christine kouzmin dot com and we very own personal narrator. Just a malik reading to you from some amazing blogs and books. Help you optimize your life covering self-help personal development happiness productivity more now to post for you today so let's get right to them as we optimize her life. Sir do you know and live your values by dr christine clues. Men of christine clues men dot com as a society. We constantly talk about our values as if we as individuals or we as a country actually know what those values are. If you had to take a pop quiz right now that asked you to name your top three values in life. Would you
Serial Killer John Wayne Gacy's Sister and Mass Murder Jim Jones' Son Speak Out
"Twenty five seasons four thousand five hundred sixty one episodes. I believe the oprah winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world Rolling never thought of it. That the moments the breakthroughs the connections the occasional ugly cry so terribly every single minute the l. o. Ell's the moments that matter. I o blue light lessons. Never allow them to take you somewhere. I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the ball. I personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you again. Every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire. They want to know. Do you see me. do you hear me. That's what i say mean anything to you. You're listening to the oprah winfrey. Show the podcasts. We've all heard the expression. Don't drink the kool aid. Which means don't just go blindly along with the crowd. Think for yourself but you know where that term comes from the nineteen seventy eight jonestown massacre. Where more than nine hundred. Americans all drank a kool-aid like beverage wasn't actually cool lace with poisonous cyanide. Nine hundred people that everybody in this room multiplied by three nine hundred people. It was the biggest mass murder suicide in modern history and it was masterminded by this man. Jim jones a leader of the people's temple. Here's how it all began in one thousand nine hundred eighty six. Jim jones was a young and dynamic preacher with a big voice and a radical message for the times racial equality i represent the principal quality society. Where people own all things in common rich or poor but there are no racist. Jones created his own church in indiana and called the people's temple practicing what he preached jones. His wife marceline had what they called a rainbow family. We were called the rainbow family because the seven kids that we had. We had an african american. We had to create americans from seoul korea and then we had homemade natural side in nineteen sixty five. Jim jones moved his family and the peoples temple to the progressive state of california. It was the turbulent sixties and the peoples temple offered. What many were seeking what he spoke about or things that were in our hearts. The government was not taking care of the people. There were too many poor people out there. There were poor children. When i joined people's temple in the spring of nineteen sixty six. There were exactly eighty-one members. Five years later and extended family of eighty people had become an organization of thousands as the movement grew so did reverend jones's demands of his followers. They've signed over their paychecks. Life savings and even their homes. But in the seventies as jim jones grew more powerful. He claimed he could miraculously healed the sick darker side of jim. Jones was emerging and rumors of sexual and physical abuse. At the people's temple began to spread. I was in a lot of the meetings where people were spanked or beaten. And i i was slapped once also in a
1907: 8 Little Ways to Simplify Your Life by Courtney Carver of Be More With Less on Creating A Simple Life
"Minimalist monday edition of the living daily episode. Nineteen o seven. Be little ways to simplify your life. By corny carver of be more less dot com. And i'm just a molecule personal narrator reading to with permission from the authors. I cover lots of topics like personal development or self-help mindfulness happiness. Anything they think can help you live a more meaningful life in just a few minutes every day. A real quick thanks to anchor for hosting this podcast. Anger is the easiest. Way to make a podcast. They'll distribute your podcast for you so can be heard everywhere. Spotify apple podcasts. Google podcasts and many more you can easily make money from your podcast to with no minimum listenership anchor gives you everything you need in one place for free which you can use right from your phone or computer creation tools. Allow you to record. And edit your podcast. So sounds great. Download the anchor app or go to anchor dot. Fm to get started. Probably mentioned that. It's my birthday today. No days off here. If you're in the giving spirit just sharing the show with somebody would make my day really appreciate it. But i wanna too much. So let's get right to
Why Will Power is Not Your Friend
"So have you ever had an idea something that you want to say. You're going to do it. You know what the outcome is supposed to be. You have the goal. You pretty much know where to start and ready to go do it right. Have this idea and then suddenly you don't do it and maybe your wife comes in and goes honey. You're so excited. Why didn't you do it. You know you might have got your smartphone out and scroll down to your contact down to the ws trying to find your friend willpower. Maybe we'll we'll help you at this time. I'll probably not but we'll talk about that on today's show and show you an easier way to maybe get the things you say you want to get in your life. Make it easier for you. It is the daily boost from motivation to move dot com. The positive boost. You need every single day. Some real life strategies storytelling tucked into this thing. It's all based on. The premise of life begins. When you move then life gets in the way we have to figure things out. The trick is to click. It's that millisecond. Time when you go. That's how this works. It's day after day going after which is why we do it every single day. Hate speech. scott. I'm the founder and the chief motivating officer here motivation to move dot com. I do do this every single day. In fact this show is a completely different show than the inside version. The premium version motivation with dot com. Because i don't talk about commercials. I don't do stuff over there. I don't sell people on the program. We just get to coaching. and go deep. If you'd like that kinda show go there scientific. You're gonna love it. You're like the stiffer doing every single day. Promise you that all right before. I get going today. I'm going to ask do your homework and settle down and just simply look into your world and say how is your life going for me. A bufton. my microphone their house. You're going do you like what you have not like what you have. What are you focused on. What should be goals. Are you drifting aimlessly or have you taken just a few minutes and written down what you want to make sure you're getting it doing. Your homework is the most important thing you can do if you don't have my perfectly planner it's more than just a planner at actually helps you take control of your time. It's free just go to motivation to move dot com and get it. Watch the video. You don't want to video. You're going to say this doesn't watch the video at teach how to use it pretty simple and once you get that power going for its may awesome so much in earlier that start my day with blankets and have been for about a year is an app for anyone who cares about learning and doesn't have a lot of times that you do that. Well they take the key ideas and insights for four thousand nonfiction bestsellers and they put them in about twenty seven categories and then they create fifteen minute text and audio explainers. They call him bully blinks. Now they also do podcast blanks. You can get the heart of a podcast really really fast. Fifteen million people use points. I think when i started with them they had about eight million people. So it's growing like crazy but use it to learn more about self-improvement personal growth management leadership. Mindfulness happened is all kinds of crazy. Things do it fast. I listened to something new. Most every morning gets my mind going in the right direction. Makes me think is basically ideas. And i don't have to read the whole book to get it. I get the idea. And see if i like it or not. I've been recommending lately. Sapiens of humankind and for small creatures. Such as we sasha's sagan. That's what i've until folks you checkout so blake has a special offer for you just go to. Blink is right now a blinking dot com slash boost. Start a free seven-day trial and get twenty percents off a premium membership for your b. l. i. n. k. I s. t. blinking dot com slash boost to get twenty percents off a seven day. Free trial bleakest dot com slash boost. Have you ever said yourself. When will you get yourself to do the things you say you want to do. You're saying it more people than you know. Say that they lose sleep to they. Lose a lot of sleep over that question. Sometimes when i'm working with people in my clients. I just really kind of want to figure out what keeps them awake at night because by the time they get to me. I can guarantee sums keeping awake at night. It's questions like that. Why don't i do the things. I say i want to do. If it sounds like something you experience. I promise you. You're not alone and you probably have talked to your friends and you note as well. Almost everybody begins journey. How that works right. Here's the deal. And i'll give you my philosophy first off. You have thought it's out there it's floating around and pow pops into your mind. There's a thought and you go. I have thought so. Three things are going to have a number one. You're going to do something with that. Thought turn it into action. Make it happen right number two you. May you may decline. You know not a silly thought. I what was i thinking right and no. You're not going to do it or you got You're gonna ponder it for a while. You're going to sit on the fence. You're going to get splinters in your butkus. That's what happens when you the and then day to day life keeps you busy right. You kind of get off track so you decide to do it and like it's on the way what happens. Then he is. You got a lot of frustrating months. We fixing to get ready. What is fixing to get ready. Which when you start to prepare to do the thing you say you're gonna do. You're preparing to go start to do so that you can do so you can say you did. That's fixing to get ready to write. It doesn't work it doesn't work so what do you do. I can't do what i wanna do. Scott i got a coma friend. He's in the ws in the bone thing. It's going to say foam book. They still have phone books. Willpower is his name. Now wills out. I knew that. But if you're a person will be the kind of friend that use a wide. I keep letting this friend in my life. Why why why do they keep coming. You know we all have somebody right and eventually you figure out that all right. that's cool. Cool cool gotta stop that. Bit of a slacker. Maybe certainly live rent free in your mind. They say they want to help with a really ever get the job done do they. They don't deliver on the promise. Wills job description. Should you read wills job description and you should force you to do things you say you want to but can't get yourself to do it. That's it wills here to force you to do you say you want to do. You're the boss of you. Raise me you want to do it. Why don't you do it. let's get will. He'll force we do know you. Won't you're going to give up. You know that's what you do when you get willpower. That's what happens you eventually give up. We'll leaves so there's good news a lot of good news. You don't need to force yourself to do anything at all. Nothing if you have big goals you want to achieve things you want to go after and you wonder why you're not going after it. Achieving your goals just requires a bit of a mindset shift. He can't force yourself to do anything. Nobody can force you to do. Anything forcing is not gonna work fears. Not gonna work. You can only drive yourself down role. I'm gonna do it so long. It's like being on a diet on a diet. Says you go for pizza. Okay now you go. We'll xp so he just goes with you right. It's what happens. We'll get you. He'll say yes you're going to go. He shifts gears and makes you go get pizzas. What he does. you're not gonna get yourself yourself so the mindset shift has to happen. What is at shift. Well i'm gonna give you a description. Definition is probably the better word for this. Let me ask you if you know where this came from to act at your discretion without constraint. Now before you have a chance to google it and figure that out just think about it. Don't do that. Don't cheat to act at your discretion without constraint. what's that come from. What is the definition. What is it for what the definition is
1906: 12 Ideas for Establishing a Calming Routine by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits
"Let's get right to it. As we optimize your life sir. Twelve ideas for establishing a calming routine by leo bout of zen habits don net one of the most rewarding changes in my life in the last couple of years has been finding peace with a morning routine. I've made it a habit to wake before. Most of the world about four thirty a m and just enjoy the quiet and solitude. It made all the difference in the world. I sit quietly with a cup of coffee and enjoy the silence. I go for a morning. Run which relieves stress and his perfect for contemplation. Use a quiet time before my family awakes to write something each morning a reed has a good novel as one of my favorite companions now. Not everyone is a morning person of course. But that doesn't mean you can't create your own routine. When that incorporate something that gives you solitude quiet or stress release while morning is an ideal time for such a routine other ideal. Times are after work men before bed and really that works for you is good. I recommend that if you haven't yet you create your own calming routine. Give it a couple of weeks to become a habit focusing on doing it every day and soon you will not want to miss it here just a few ideas to get. You started number one morning coffee. If you're not a coffee person. Tea or cocoa works great as well sit and enjoy the silence as he wake up and even better watch the sunrise. The perfect way to greet the day number to exercise. I like to go on an easy run. It relieves stress and give me time to myself to think and enjoy nature. Evening runs or great to especially as the sun goes down. If you're not into running walking cycling swimming really any exercise works well. Just take it easy in the beginning and try to do a little every day. Don't overdo it number three meditation or yoga. I haven't been meditating on a regular basis. But when i do. It's so calming and so centering you'll need to do anything. Formal simply focusing on your breathing as it goes in and out his a good meditation. Love never been into yoga. I know a lot of people who swear by it. And i'd recommend you give it a try. It sounds appealing to you number. Four gratitude session. Does it one of my favorite rituals everyday take a couple of minutes to think about everything and everybody. You are grateful for may sound corny but it is an amazing ritual. Try right now. it only takes a minute. Who are you grateful for. What are you grateful for a found. This little ritual has so much power that it makes me happier and more compassionate by the way every time i do it. I think the people who don't eat it and helped me become a giant step closer to my dream. That's you guys number five goal mantra. There's another one of my favorites. I got the idea from guy kawasaki. Who tells us that. Corporate mission statements are basically useless and recommend you create a corporate mantra instead of three or four words tops so instead of creating a corporate mantra created a personal mantra to remind myself. Why do everything. I've been doing this year with the blog. All my writing and some new projects that are coming up including an e book here. It is liberal yourself and just make sure to repeat this mantra at least once a day. If not several times it helps me stay focused. I suggest you do the same for your personal mission number. Six evening review. I think this would be an especially fruitful routine for anyone. Basically is a routine. That ben franklin did himself he was spent some time at the end of each day to review how he did with his goal and reflect on how his day went. It only needs to take a few minutes. But just go over your day. Think about your goal your mantra what you did to further that goal what you did right and what you did wrong today while you can improve while you need to do in the future if you want to journal this it'd be even better number seven bath time. My home doesn't have a bath tub. But i truly cherish a long hot bath. If you have the time to do this. It could be extremely relaxing number. Eight after work unwinding long day of work stressed out. Take minutes to unwind some great ideas for that Twenty to thirty minute. Nap snuggling with your kids. Deep breathing stretching self massage or really anything that relaxes you number. Nine pre bed ritual another ideal time for a comedy routine is just before you go to bed be you do any of the calming things mentioned in the other items or just develop a routine get close ready get lunches ready clean up. Brush teeth deciding your three most important tasks for tomorrow. Etcetera number ten journaling more writing a morning. Writing ritual is a good thing but you can do a writing ritual at any time that works for you or instead of writing try journaling but can be very productive and relaxing number eleven conversation. Try this every night for an hour. Just sit and talk to your spouse show the highlights and lowlights of your day. Talk about your goals your finances. Your relationship movies music books. This can of course be adapted for conversation with your children number twelve reading time now one of my favorites take time each day to spend with a good book more trashy novel. It doesn't matter actually like to take time in the morning and evening but whatever time convenient for you. We'll work saying you. Just listen to the post titled twelve ideas for establishing a calming routine by leo buddha
1905: Fat and (Un)Happy - How Overconsumption Eats Away at the Self by Helene Massicotte of Free To Pursue
"Listened by then massey kat of free to pursue dot com. And i'm just a mollica very own personal narrator today and every day. This is a relatively short. Podcasts usually fewer than ten minutes. Where i read one article to you from the best blogs on the planet with permission from the authors and on that note. Let's keep this short get right to today's post and start optimizing your life sir. Fat and unhappy. How overconsumption eats away at the self. By massey kat of free to pursue dot com. I can't believe the last few weeks a flu. Morphed into another two weeks of absolute unadultered slacking and this is after. I started to feel better. My good habits took a nosedive. And i feel awful. I can't believe how quickly our bodies and our minds adapt to a new level of laziness and need for creature comforts he. Donald adaptation is expensive for your soul. And your wallet. I'm embarrassed to say that. I've fallen victim to idleness. Taking the easy way out of what seems to be everything i seek. What's least painful. Most restful most enjoyable and leased productive. I'm cutting corners doing work. That's good enough or dodging it altogether. I'm spending more money than usual for convenience. And i've even let a goal slip by that. I'll regret for a long time. I went from walking and biking full days and ignoring tv to being a car. Driving couch potato indulging in day-long tv fess periodic napping and ignoring all household chores. That doesn't include making myself something to eat with as little work as possible and the least nutritional value. I am now also at two to three glasses of wine a day instead of my usual glass w t.f naive in thinking about the pleasure. I derived from these things anymore. What a waste and a machine to say. I seem to be driving others down with me here. I am doing a lot of the things that when they are special treats feel some memorable and i feel like a pile of garbage. I'm slightly depressed now. Six pounds heavier and feel very little to show for the last two weeks beyond an expanded waistline neither thinking about the pleasure derived from these things anymore or about the satisfaction of a job. Well done when focused on writing in working on projects that feel my passions will give meaning to my thoughts and actions will today. I say enough enough with taking leisure for granted. Leisure that starring to have the opposite effect on my level of happiness enough with thinking that sitting on the couch watching tv or serving the net endlessly is somewhat acceptable or even desirable. Enough is enough. No more seeking immediate gratification. I want more and want to feel the satisfaction of a job. Well done i want the feeling of weeding in anticipation for some fun and relaxation. I want to plan gastronomic indulgences. As opposed to making them everyday occurrences. Ona move my body to feel how strong and capable it is. I want to take the time to connect with people and have hours. Long involves conversations. I want to go to bed and fall asleep as my head is pillow. After very full day. I also want to feel the pride and fulfillment. That comes from day. That i've lived dot fully purposefully. I know be tough. I- cozied up with the dark side way too easily and unfortunately feel. It's poll for a number of days until i successfully clean up my act. My success will be in every decision every action and fighting the knowledge that may be so much easier to ignore the pile of work. That's waiting for me after all. What's one more day. A chosen to start with what i always find. Energizing house cleaning with feels better and getting back to your old self than an environment. That's clean and orderly so far. I'm halfway through the laundry of wash dishes. Clean the bathrooms and watch out vacuum cleaner. Because you're next. I think this is going to be a good. Start to a tough climb. That will likely take more time and effort than took to take the quick yet. Insidious tumble downward. You just