Mindfulness

Sit back, relax and listen to the latest in mindfulness, awareness, and compassion in all aspects of life. Sourced from premium podcasts.

A highlight from The Imprint of New Experiences

The Angry Therapist Podcast

05:01 min | 1 hr ago

A highlight from The Imprint of New Experiences

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. Hey, real quick. I'm launching a newsletter. Actually, I've had a newsletter, but I never put effort into it kind of like a toy that you forget about and it's collecting dust on the top shelf. So I'm taking it down, cleaning it up, putting brand new rims on it. And letting you drive it. So, on that letting you drive it, giving it to you, I don't know. Anyway, I'm giving away discount codes, zoom links for a private hangs, I'm gonna just do some creative stuff. Of course, articles, excerpts from my books and mental challenges during journaling prompts. And also interviews, I'm gonna do some interviews with people, people who have amazing stories. And so if you want that newsletter, just go to the angry therapist dot com and you will see it there. So, I had a revelation recently and okay, let me back up real quick. So I grew up with fast food. I grew up eating McDonald's and, you know, in the 80s, fast food wasn't fast food, meaning shit. We were eating TV dinners, right? And that's like, I think that's worse than fast food. Remember those from the 50s, like they got pipe in the 50s, and then in the 80s, like Swanson, there was like a fried chicken and other shit. And I mean, that wasn't even real food, I think. Anyway, so as a kid, fast food was almost a luxury, and it was also very American. I remember when chicken McNuggets first came out and my neighbor, he was eating them. And they had these little dipping sauces. And I was so jealous. I wanted them so bad. But the image I see in my head of like McDonald's is like America. My point is I grew up my house, by the way, was like a liquor store. My parents were never home and they let us buy whatever we wanted to. They thought that was what being American looked like, so we had all the cereals, you know, Twinkies, cupcakes. It was really cupboards where it was like a liquor store. It's all the kids came over. And used me. So I have this palette of fast food. And so as I got older, I loved things like burgers. And my mom, after working at like, it's called a stop and go, but is it like a 7 11? And she was held up many times. She saved up money about this little hamburger shack in Burbank. And so I grew up and that was her own 14 at the time. Grew up skating and eating burgers. I mean, burgers were on demand. I just decided to make a phone call and I got fries, chili fries, burgers. And so I grew up with that. And so as an adult, I've always craved and loved, you know, burgers. And one thing I've realized, and this is my revelation, sorry it's a little long winded. In my head, imagine the burgers that I used to eat and how good they tasted. And then I'd go get one. And you know, I make sure the reviews are legit and they're amazing. And you know, I don't just go to random places, but various burger places, mom and pop shops, you know, whatever. And I'm always disappointed. And I don't think it's the burger. I think it's my palette. I think that at 49, I can't eat double western bacon cheeseburger with large fries and a Coke. And I don't get the same high, I guess you would say because it is like a drug. I don't get the same satisfaction as I did when I was in high school or younger. And what's interesting is every time I eat a burger, I'm disappointed, I'm like, oh, this is a greasy, I don't even like this. A few days later, I imagine, again, the sensation, the dopamine, the satisfaction I got from the burger, in the 80s, 90s, and then I'm out in the car looking for a burger place again. Almost like an addict, it's really strange.

John Kim Mcdonald Swanson Burbank America Coke
A highlight from 450: The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances OConnor

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:30 min | 7 hrs ago

A highlight from 450: The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances OConnor

"This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Okay, I'll be honest, I was both intrigued and mildly concerned when we booked today's guest. Intrigued because she's an eminent scientist at the forefront of some fascinating research. She also happens to be a practicing Buddhist. Concerned just mildly because her area of expertise is grief. And here's why that worried me a bit. I am always thinking about how to make every episode as compelling as possible to as many people as possible. I'm borderline obsessed with that, actually. And the truth is, not all of you will be grieving as we traditionally understand that word right now, although obviously very few of us will live lives without loss. In any event, the good news is that my guest today defines grief in a broad way. It's not only when you lose a loved one in her view, but also when you lose a job or a relationship. And she even has thoughts about why so many of us grieve for public figures. We've never met. Mary Frances O'Connor is an associate Professor of clinical psychology and psychiatry at the university of Arizona, where she's also the director of clinical training. And she is the author of a book called the grieving brain in this conversation we talk about the distinction between grief and grieving. What she's learned from neuroimaging studies of the grieving brain, how her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief, whether or not we can ever quote unquote get over it. Why is she argues for and these are her words a really big toolkit of coping strategies, which would include progressive muscle relaxation, which she will explain and mindfulness and will explore both the value and limitations of mindfulness when it comes to grief. We also talk about how to understand the work of Elizabeth kubler Ross today, what grieving looks like in a pandemic. Why she likes the serenity prayer, what to say to people who are grieving, and the new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder. This is week three of our four week mental health reboot series in which we are pairing personal stories on Mondays with cutting edge science on Wednesdays. If you missed it, check out Monday's episode with Catherine Schultz, the Pulitzer Prize winning writer, who's just out with a memoir about gain and loss in her own life, excellent interviewee in my opinion. Heads up on two things before we dive in here. There's a little bit of background noise in this interview recording in a pandemic, et cetera. And there's also a brief mention of suicide. And last thing before we get started here, if you're a

Dan Harris Mary Frances O'connor Elizabeth Kubler Ross University Of Arizona Catherine Schultz Pulitzer Prize
A highlight from Katy Milkman - How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Untangle

03:07 min | 1 d ago

A highlight from Katy Milkman - How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

"Katie is devoted her career to the study of behavior change, and that is a good thing, since she shares that 40% of premature deaths are actually due to behaviors and habits we can change. Today she talks about the importance of understanding the barriers that stand between you and the change you're trying to make so that you can find the right solution to each particular roadblock. Turning an uphill battle into a downhill one is one of the keys to success. But there are plenty. She goes through the most common barriers, which are short term rewards or instant gratification, procrastination, forgetfulness, and to hear others stay tuned now. Here's Katie. Katie, it's great to have you on untangle today. Thanks so much for being here. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited. So in your book, you say that you've spent most of your career focused on habit change and I am really curious what inspired this focus for you. Yeah, thanks for asking that question. It took a little while for me to get extremely focused on this topic. I was definitely a wanderer for a bit as a researcher and the science I was doing as a assistant professor was really all over the place from looking at race and gender bias and organizations to trying to understand what kinds of articles go viral on The New York Times website to what movies do we rent and hold. So I wasn't focused and then I wandered over to a lecture at the medical school at the University of Pennsylvania where I work by a group in that area who was studying medical decision making and trying to improve the choices people make about their health. I thought, look, this looks interesting. I'm interested in lots of things related to how people make choices. Maybe I'll learn something. And there was a slide. I am such a nerd. It had a graph on it, and it changed my life. The graph was a breakdown of the percentage of premature deaths in the U.S. that are caused by different things. So it had some of your usual suspects, like genetic causes, accidents, environmental toxins, a whole long list of reasons we don't make it as long as we'd like to. One of the wedges on the graph is a pie chart was decisions we could change about what we eat, what we drink, whether we smoke, whether or not we practice safety when we get into vehicles, those daily choices we make that have a big impact on our lifespan. And I thought, okay, that's going to matter. But what blew my mind is how much. It was 40%. The biggest wedge in this graph 40% of premature deaths and the U.S. are due to behaviors we could change. And that changed my life because I was, I'll say casually studying these topics occasionally. And when I realized what a huge opportunity there was to expand the human lifespan to make the world truly a better place through science, I really focused my work

Katie University Of Pennsylvania The New York Times U.S.
A highlight from It's Not Me, It's You: Two Types of Relationship Energy

The Angry Therapist Podcast

04:33 min | 2 d ago

A highlight from It's Not Me, It's You: Two Types of Relationship Energy

"Really? We don't know. I don't know what pinworms are. Nothing's going on. John just learned what pin rooms were 5 minutes ago when I told him because I had them in middle school and it was like the most horrifically scarring experience in my life. And so I've never had them, but I guess they're worms around the butthole. Yeah. Are they Michael's got big? Kristen, what's your face, Jackson, Kristin? She talked about that one time a heart gets at a podcast. Oh my gosh. Are they microscopic? No, you can see them. Oh my gosh. But they're very contagious. Very contagious. Oh my God. Hearing this. Who don't know who are listening to this, John? Are they going to wonder who the hell these other two voices are under podcast? I would think they know who your voice, Vanessa. So we have a special show for you today. I'm here with Vanessa, my partner. You know, you prefer partner, correct? That's what I say. Yeah, and you know when it feels like I feel a little too old to be somebody's going to go from feels high school, you're not technically not married. I'm your baby mama. You could say that too, I guess. That's right. Well, I think because people use partner a lot when they're gay. When I use partner, I think a lot of times people, if they've never seen you, they just assume I'm gay. Maybe your age or older, but I don't think the younger people think that because we don't just call us old. Yeah. Wow. We have a special guest tonight. Danae, mister nay Logan. I just see her with one name. I never think about her last name. I don't know what my last name is gonna be post divorce. I'm like, I think I'm gonna be prince. I think I'm gonna like Princeton. Develop a symbol for my last name. Yeah, I see you like a prince or like sting, just one name. Yeah, I like it. And danae is a good friend of ours. Also, there's a lot of couples work. Danae Vanessa went to therapy school together. And man, what else can we say about you? Then they speak the language, you know? That's kind of the, I always feel like people who I know I could just have a great conversation with no matter what. They speak to a language. So I know a few people like that in my life and you wear them. The yin to my Yang and usually sees things from your perspective. So she's always really good to talk to whenever happens with us because her and you are very similar. I'm totally not the girlfriend bestie that's like, yeah, screw him. I'm like, I don't know. I kind of see my face coming from all the ways. It's so annoying. That's what I need, actually. I mean, I think it depends on when in Vanessa and I's relationship. You want to respond to because in the early days. I know there were some fucked that guy. Well, which is fair. I mean, I'm still her writer died, but a lot of times I do. I do see where you're coming from. It's all in the book. We're going to talk about circles and lines today. We're going to talk about circles and lines. That's such a John Kim thing to say. We're going to talk about circles and lines today. Just bring it back to the basics. So yeah, so relationships. Circles and lines. Masculine chairman and energy. Correct? Yeah. All right. Yeah. I mean, I feel like masculine and feminine energetics have become a little bit the obsession of my life and it's fascinating because Vanessa and I went to school studying depth psychology and I don't know if you felt this way, but I don't remember feeling like it was that interesting when we were in school like we learned about the anima and the animus, which is sort of call a young's way of describing these energetics and basically that all of us have both masculine and feminine energetics within us. And a lot of times what we speak about is that the terms masculine and feminine can be a little bit polarizing a little bit challenging. They carry a lot of connotations. So there's a lot of ways to speak to these polarities. You can say sun moon, yin, Yang. Seoul ego, what else? Circular and linear. But wait, really quick.

Vanessa Nay Logan Danae Vanessa John Kristin Kristen Danae Jackson Michael John Kim Bestie Princeton Yang
A highlight from 449:  Loss is Inevitable. Heres How to Handle It. | Kathryn Schulz

10% Happier with Dan Harris

03:07 min | 2 d ago

A highlight from 449: Loss is Inevitable. Heres How to Handle It. | Kathryn Schulz

"Is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey gang, I've always been really intrigued by the Buddhist notion of the 8 worldly winds they include praise and blame success and failure joy and sorrow and most relevant for this conversation gain and loss. The idea is that if we learn to relate to these various two sided coins as being like the wind or part of nature, we can develop more equanimity Vis-à-vis life's inevitable ups and downs. Vexations and vicissitudes, the full catastrophe. Today we're going to talk specifically about the unstoppable flow of gain and loss. The upside and downside of impermanence and how to deal with this process more effectively. My guest is not actually a Dharma teacher, but instead a Pulitzer Prize winning writer who I've actually been a fan of for a very long time. She really is, in my opinion, one of the best writers drawing breath on the planet currently. So it was very cool to meet her. Catherine Schultz is a staff writer at The New Yorker who has a new book called lost and found a memoir, which is really about her processing a huge loss in her personal life, and then a huge gain, and then also musing in a very compelling way about how to live in a world where this happiness and pain inevitably commingle. In other words, how to live with contradiction. In this conversation, we talk about how humans experience grief, a gift that you can give to anybody who's grieving. Why she loves the cliches that remind us to enjoy the moment, even though they are cliches, her broad understanding of the term loss a category that a she points out can include both loved ones and your car keys, how the key word in lost and found is and why she says life is a perpetual and machine and we also talk about some of the insights she has gained from being in a long-term romantic relationship specifically what she has learned about compromise. Also, just to say this is the first episode of a true part of this week on the subject of loss. On Wednesday, we're going to talk to a scientist and practicing Buddhist who's been studying what grief does to your brain. And I should also say that the two parter this week is part of a four week series. We're doing on the show that we're calling the mental health reboot. It's the longest and most ambitious series we've ever done on the show. Each week on Monday, we bring you a series of brand new interviews with mental health memoirists who have personal stories on everything from sleep to shame to grief to trauma. And then on Wednesdays, we bring on a top notch scientist to help you contextualize the story you've just heard and to provide some evidence based advice. And the last thing before we get started, if you find yourself wanting to put hope to work in your own life, then make sure to check out our meditations from some of our finest teachers about how to cultivate hope

Dan Harris Catherine Schultz Pulitzer Prize The New Yorker Trauma
A highlight from Meditation for a difficult day

Mindfulness For Beginners

00:57 sec | 3 d ago

A highlight from Meditation for a difficult day

"Thought about yesterday. Do something with each thought. Allowing it to leave and gently and without judgment, bringing your attention back to your breath. And finally, focusing your awareness in your breath, noticing that column of air between your nose and your diaphragm. Noticing how the air feels cooler on the way in. Warmer on the way out.

A highlight from A Letter From My Future Self

The Angry Therapist Podcast

01:25 min | 5 d ago

A highlight from A Letter From My Future Self

"Hey everyone, it's Jen and Jess from the beauty podcast fat mascara. We're often asked to share our advice for starting a skin care regimen that helps with age related issues. And our suggestion is simple. Wear a moisturizer with SPF 30 every day. One of our favorites is from the iconic British beauty brand number 7 their day creams have targeted ingredients to help with signs of aging plus SPF 30. My personal favorite is the lift and luminate triple action day cream SPF 30, which hydrates better than brands that cost ten times more. Number 7 is available at affordable retailers like Walgreens and Ulta Beauty and on number 7 BD dot com. That's NO, the numeral 7, beauty dot com. This episode is sponsored by the Kia instrument. Movement in nature has inspired us for centuries, whether it's waves crashing on the beach, the movement of wind or the flight of birds through the air or in my case hugging canyons on two wheels, AKA my motorcycle. Movement in nature is also what inspires Kia. That's why Kia have turned sounds in nature into the first instrument that inspires you. Scientific research shows that the sounds of movement found in nature produce pink noise. A sound frequency that can help trigger inspiration. In collaboration with dull house audio and world leading synth builder Arthur joy Lee, Kia captured the sounds of movement all over the world and turned them into an instrument. Now

Ulta Beauty KIA Jess JEN Walgreens Arthur Joy Lee
A highlight from Robin Wall Kimmerer  The Intelligence of Plants

On Being with Krista Tippett

09:41 min | 5 d ago

A highlight from Robin Wall Kimmerer The Intelligence of Plants

"Are used to naming and imagining as inanimate. I can't think of a single scientific study in the last few decades that has demonstrated that plants are animals are dumber than we think. You know, it's always the opposite, right? What we're revealing is the fact that they have a capacity to learn to have memory and we're at the edge of a wonderful revolution and really understanding the sentience of other beings. I'm Krista tippett and this is on being. Robin wall kimmerer is a Professor of environmental biology at the state university of New York and founding director of the center for native peoples and the environment. She works with tribal nations on environmental problem solving and sustainability. Part of that work is about recovering lineages of knowledge that were made illegal. In the policies of tribal assimilation, which did not fully end in the U.S. until the 1970s. Robin wall cameras grandfather attended one of the now infamous boarding schools designed to quote unquote civilized Indian youth, and she only learned the anishnabe language of her people as an adult. So I'm just so intrigued when I look at the way you introduce yourself. It will often include that you are a citizen from the citizen potawatomi nation. From the bear clan adopted into the eagles. And I'd love for you to just take us a little bit into that world you're describing that you came from. And ask also that the question I always ask about, what was the spiritual and religious background of that world you grew up in of your childhood? I'd like to start with the second part of that question. I was lucky enough to grow up in the fields in the Woods of upstate New York. I was lucky in that regard, but disappointed also in that I grew up away from the pottawatomie people away from all of our people by virtue of history, history of removal and the taking of children to the Indian boarding schools. And so in a sense, the questions that I had about who I was in the world, what the world was like. Those are questions that I really wished I'd had a cultural elder to ask, but I didn't. But I had the Woods to ask. And there's a way in which just growing up in the Woods in the fields, they really became my doorway into culture in the absence of human elders I had plant elders instead. And it sounds like you did not grow up speaking the language of the potawatomi nation, which is anishnabe, is that right? That's right. Yeah, the language is called anishnabe moan in the pottawatomie language is very close to that. I was intrigued to see that just to mention somewhere new writing that you take part in a potawatomi language lunchtime class that actually happens in Oklahoma and via the Internet because I grew up actually in pottawatomie county in Oklahoma. And having told you that, you know, I never knew or learned anything about what that word meant much less. You know, the people in the culture it described. That is so interesting to them in a place that is named that. And this is, this is the ways in which a culture is become invisible and the language becomes invisible. And through history and the reclaiming of that, the making culture visible again to speak the language and even the tiniest amount so that it's almost as if it feels like the air is waiting to hear this language that had been lost for so long. So it delights me that I can be learning an ancient language by completely modern techniques. Sitting at my office eating lunch, learning pottawatomie grammar. Yeah. So when you said a minute ago that you spent your childhood and actually the kind of searching questions, if your childhood were somehow somehow found expression and the closest that you came to answers in the Woods. And it seems to me that that's such a wonderful way to fill out something else you've said before, which is that you were born a botanist, which is a way to say this. Which was the language you got as you entered college. At forestry school. At state university of New York. Yes, and so there was no question, but that I'd study botany in college. It was my passion still is, of course, but the botany that I encountered there was so different than the way that I understood plants. Plants were reduced to object. What was supposedly important about them was the mechanism by which they worked, not what their gifts were not what their capacities were. They were really thought of as objects, whereas I thought of them as subjects. And that shift in worldview was a big hurdle for me and entering the field of science. I mean, one way you've said it is that that science that was asking different questions. And you had other questions, other language, and other protocol that came from indigenous culture. I mean, there's one place in your writing where you're talking about beauty. And you're talking about question you would have, which is why two flowers are beautiful together. And that that question, for example, would violate the division that is necessary for objectivity. But then you do this wonderful thing where you actually give a scientific analysis of the statement that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Which would be one of the critiques of a question like that, that it's not really asking a question that is rational or scientific. Do you need to know where I'm talking about that? I do. Yeah, I would do exactly. Flesh that out because that's just such an interesting juxtaposition of how you actually started to both experience the dissonance between those kinds of questions and also start to weave them together, I think. Yes, it goes back to the story of when I very proudly entered the forestry school as an 18 year old and telling them that the reason that I wanted to study botany was because I wanted to know why asters and goldenrod looked so beautiful together. These are these amazing displays of this bright chrome yellow and Deep Purple of New England Astor and they look stunning together and the two plants so often intermingle rather than living apart from one another and I wanted to know why that was. I thought that surely in the order in the harmony of the universe, there would be an explanation for why they looked so beautiful together and I was told that that was not science that if I was interested in beauty I should go to art school. Which was really demoralizing. As a freshman. But I came to understand that that question wasn't going to be answered by science. That science as a way of knowing explicitly sets aside, right? Our emotions are aesthetic reactions to things. We have to analyze them as if they were just pure material and not matter and spirit. Together. And yes, as it turns out, there's a very good biophysical explanation for why those plants grow together. So it's a matter of aesthetic sense. It's a matter of ecology. Those complementary colors of purple and gold together being opposites on the color wheel, they're so vivid. They actually attract far more pollinators than that in those two grew apart from one another. So each of those plants benefits by combining its beauty with the beauty of the other, and that's a question that science can address, certainly. As well as artists, and I just think that why is the world so beautiful is a question that we all ought to be embracing. Now, you did work for a time at Bausch and lomb after college. I mean, you went into a more traditional scientific endeavor. I wonder, was there kind of a turning point a day or a moment where you felt compelled to bring these things together in the way you could? These different ways of knowing and seeing and studying the world. Yes, I think the place that it became most important to me to start to bring these ways back of knowing back together again is when as a young PhD botanist, I was invited to a gathering of traditional plant knowledge holders and I was just there to listen. And it was such an amazing experience. Four days of listening to people whose knowledge of the plant world was so much deeper. And these were these elders or these indigenous or indigenous people. Their education was on the land and with the plants and through the oral tradition.

State University Of New York Krista Tippett Robin Wall Kimmerer Center For Native Peoples And Robin Wall Forestry School Oklahoma Pottawatomie County Eagles U.S. New York Lomb New England
A highlight from Be Open to Everything. Attached to Nothing.

The Angry Therapist Podcast

05:50 min | Last week

A highlight from Be Open to Everything. Attached to Nothing.

"My name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since, sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. I want to start with a quote it's from taoism. I used to listen to Wayne dyer a lot back in the Cape Town days. I call it the K talon days when I was recovering from a divorce rebuilding my life. It was the early days when I was working in nonprofit and had a very low sense of self very disconnected, very curious about self betterment, about definitions of men, and for some reason I just connected to Wayne dyer, and it wasn't like, you know, he wasn't the smartest person I've ever heard. It was more on kind of like a strange spiritual connection, almost like he was my dad in the past life kind of connection. Sometimes we're drawn to people and we don't kind of know why, you know, it's one of those things that just feel kind of natural. Anyway, listen to a lot of him. And one of the things he talks about is he hangs a lot of his talks and philosophies on the Dow and taoism. And this quote is, it's one of those foundational quotes, by the way, if you could hear parrots in the background, I'm sitting in my living room and I purposely did not close my front door. It's wide open. And the parrots are out and these are not my parents, if you're new to my podcast, I live up in the hills here in altadena, California. And supposedly in the 70s, there was a fire at a pet store, and hundreds of parrots, like legit parrots, like those giant green parts that are like in pet stores that are like $300. Those parrots, they got out and they started mating, and now there's supposedly hundreds or thousands up here. And they all live on my street. It seems like, because every morning, it's Jurassic Park. It's just parrots galore. Anyway, I have the door open because I was about to close it because I wanted, of course, better sound. And I left it open because it has to do with what I wanted to talk about today. So the quote goes like this. Be open to everything, be attached to nothing. Be open to everything, be attached to nothing. This quote, I think, is one of the keys to life. I mean, it doesn't matter if we're talking about relationships or attach the blueprints or goals, expectations. I mean, it doesn't matter. It's like water, this quote. It covers everything. And I was thinking about how this applies to me. And. I want you to think about how it applies to you or it can apply to you. And being open to everything, I think, is, I don't think that's hard. It's the attachment piece, or detaching, right? Not attaching to things like outcomes. That's what's really, really hard. And I know for me, it requires a practice, you know, it starts with an intention, but it requires a practice. And before I get into that, I believe that the non attachment piece, right? So being open to everything, and then not attaching to anything, and I know this sounds extreme, because you're like, well, what about your child? What about your loved one? What about your partner? It means non attachment in that it doesn't mean that you don't love someone or don't want something. But you're in a you're living on a plane of flow where you're not grabbing and you're not attachment has to do with believing in something greater. It doesn't have to do with being lazy. It doesn't have to do with being mean, right? You're not pushing people away. Non attachment is where acceptance lives, radical acceptance, not attachment is truth, not attachment is the present, to hear now. It's what is, you know? Because we constantly attach to everything from the past, we attach to what hasn't happened in the future. We attach to our goals, tied into our worth, we attach to people, relationships we're constantly attaching. And this idea of non attachment, this idea of letting go and accepting, it is so hard, especially in, you know, I was going to say LA, but even especially in just western society.

Wayne Dyer John Kim Cape Town Altadena Jurassic Park California LA
A highlight from 340: The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:23 min | Last week

A highlight from 340: The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

"We're talking to a renowned psychologist who has come up with 5 strategies for cultivating hope. It's our second episode on hope this week. And just to be clear, we're talking about hope not as a Gauzy cliche or a state of complacent optimism, but instead as a trainable and extremely useful mental skill. If you missed it, go check out Monday's episode with Jonathan van Ness from the Netflix show queer eye. He's an amazing character, the interview is profane and hilarious and also very moving, highly recommend it. I should say these two episodes mark the second week of our monthlong mental health reboot series. As you may know, may is mental health awareness month and so every week this month we're bringing you a pair of episodes on a specific theme related to mental health and well-being last week was all about sleep this week. Hope. Today's guest says, and I'm quoting here that hope is rooted in data, not fantasy. Her name is Jacqueline Mattis, and she's a clinical psychologist from Rutgers university where she's also a dean of faculty. As you're going to hear, she did not start her career planning to study the subject of hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity specifically doing a lot of field work and interviews in African American and Africa Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions. So often choose to be good and compassionate. And it was that research that ultimately led her to hope. And this conversation we talk about how her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith, the difference between spirituality and religiosity, hope from a scientific perspective, the benefits of hope, the specific skills that can cultivate it and the ways hope can go wrong. Also interestingly, we're going to talk about the benefits of denial. One note before we dive in here, actually a few quick notes. First, this episode was originally published back in April of 2021, but it is just as relevant today. It's pretty much evergreen. Second, I want to mention there's some occasional background noise. That's the nature of conducting remote interviews and a pandemic, of course. And third, I just want you to be aware that the conversation includes some brief references to sensitive topics, including domestic abuse and slavery. Okay, we'll get started right after this. And the last thing before we get started,

Jonathan Van Ness Jacqueline Mattis Netflix Rutgers University Caribbean Africa
A highlight from Encore - Kaley & Nate Klemp - Mindful Relationships: How To Be A Good Partner

Untangle

05:38 min | Last week

A highlight from Encore - Kaley & Nate Klemp - Mindful Relationships: How To Be A Good Partner

"PhD from Princeton University and is the author of start here, master the lifelong habit of well-being. So he's deeply steeped in mindfulness. Kayleigh is an amazing expert on small group dynamics and leadership development. Her books include the 15 commitments of conscious leadership, the drama free office, and let's just say if you can make a drama free office, you can probably make a drama free marriage. And she created the 13 guidelines for effective teams. So between the two of them, they're here today to talk about the amazing power of bringing mindfulness into your relationship and how to have a happier one. Welcome Nate and Kayleigh. Thanks so much for having us. We are so happy to be here. It is my joy and pleasure. Let's start by talking first of all about what it's like to work together as a couple. You guys wrote a book together. You co create, tell me about it. It's a funny thing because I think initially we had a semi conscious agreement to never work together. We had created separate worlds as you would describe each pursuing our own areas and then it was really this project around marriage that clearly we're doing as a joint project and our life and recognize that initially Nate was going to write this book as a solo author, which we thought was going to be really interesting, but thought that it would actually be more powerful to do together. So now working together, living together, parenting together, being married, there is a lot of together, and I think that makes all of the tools that we talk about even more interesting. So how do you handle and manage a lot of together? Because sometimes a lot of together can be too much. Yeah, absolutely. On top of the book and working together for the first time, we had the pandemic, which was like a new challenge of being together and working together. And I think that for us, there were a couple of main things we needed to do. One was we needed to recognize the importance of space where back in the old days, Kayleigh was an executive coach traveling for two to three days each week. We sort of had built in time apart, so we were excited to see each other at the end of those times. And our life obviously changed. And we were together all the time. So there was this importance on finding just a little bit more physical space. So times where we're just alone going on a walk, something like that. But then we talk a lot about mental space or headspace, which I know you talk a lot about as well. Just this idea of creating some space in the mind because part of what I'm experiencing anyway in this pandemic condition is that there's this compression of mental space. There's so much distraction. There's noises happening around us in the house constantly. So being able to cultivate more mental or headspace has also been a huge part of staying sane and together. How do you work through and navigate the challenges that come up, even the challenge of writing a book, you want to do it one way or another way that challenge of filling the dishwasher you want to do it one way you want to do another way. How do you manage those differences? I'm laughing actually really hard because the dishwasher happens to be one area where like hilarious amounts of tension and will actually show up. That's where the power struggle happens in this house. In my relationship too, I can't tell you how many arguments we have about the dishwasher. Oh my gosh, that's so funny I was on another call this morning and that was the thing there too. Somebody was laughing they were saying I love the dishwasher, he takes all the dishes out and reloads it his own way. We just make a gold. But I think that this is where the connection and the transition and the overlap really between marriage and mindfulness is so powerful is that when there are conflicts, I think that there are a couple of things that show up. One having some space just to recognize our own reactivity and to be aware of, as we talk about in the 80 80 marriage, the tendency to come from a perspective of resentment or comparison or competition and have that thought that says, this is not rocket science. How can it be so hard to live the dishwasher? But to catch that thought and instead of acting on it to really instead, we talk a lot about shift to a mindset of radical generosity. Can you talk a little bit more about that shift? What people tend to notice the tension as and how to make that shift? It's interesting and mindfulness and in marriage we're dealing with all these cognitive biases and systematic ways in which we're thinking in a slightly diluted way. So mindfulness we talk a lot about how we often see impermanence as permanent, right? We see the crick in our neck or the thought or the emotion as something that's going to last forever, but it actually, it doesn't. It's just a cognitive bias, and when it comes to marriage, the primary bias that we identified, we interviewed about a hundred people for this project is this bias in how we assess what is or isn't fair. So if we take the dishwasher as an example, many people will start making all sorts of judgments about fairness when they see the dishwasher has not been unloaded and they're the one who did it the last three times. And what's really interesting is we learned from the research on

Kayleigh Nate Princeton University
A highlight from It's Not Me, It's You: A Couple's Therapy Session

The Angry Therapist Podcast

08:04 min | Last week

A highlight from It's Not Me, It's You: A Couple's Therapy Session

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. All right, well, thank you both for agreeing to chat with us. You know, I thought that it was really interesting because when John and I were reading, you know, we asked people to just give us a little bit of a brief overview, a couple bullet points. When John and I were reading over it, I was like, oh, this feels kind of close to home because I had some similar stuff happen and come up for John and I and our the beginning of our relationship. So I'm going to give that 30,000 foot. So it sounds like there's been a few things you broke up. You got back together, right? Some of the initial things around the breakup were around some ambivalence. And now that we're back together, there's a little bit of like maybe not feeling super secure that that ambivalence has totally gone away. Like there's almost like a lack of trust in that. Yeah. And then also maybe some, let's just say discomfort around the difference between the introvert extrovert and how you all show up. In that space, but I want you guys to kind of take us deeper on that. Yeah, yeah, sure. Like you said, we broke up and most of the issues there were around, you know, it being the pandemic relationship. And so we weren't really going out and doing anything. And then there's also ambivalence on when my parents died. And we actually listened to your podcast and I said to ten and we both watched our listen to where we were talking about that. So similar issues there. And so we took those four months apart and I did everything I kind of went out. We went to meetups, kids at hobbies. And it felt like those four months, it just changed a lot of things for me, especially. And then we got back together, and things are things are much better. It feels like a different relationship, or maybe you can't even compare it, honestly. And but now there's a different now that makes it better. Yeah, for me, I feel like I'm more open. I don't think I was very open the first time. I was very guarded, didn't really say the things I should be saying. Anything I had a conflict with, I would just ignore it. And not bring it up. And then I also think that I have a life outside of our relationship because what I was doing was working from home and then seeing him and most of my Friends were gone or living with their parents. So this was only what was going on. So after with that four months, I kind of figured that out and went to meet us. Rediscovered some hobbies, things like that. And that really helped, I think, our relationship. And what about you, Charlie? What feels different this time for you? I think understanding what she brought to the table. I think before I've come from, I think more extroverted than her definitely a lot of activities before pandemic have been pandemic. More felt more shut in and I felt like she never had those things. I mean activities wise or I felt like more of a mentor at types than a partner and I also felt and none of us have a lot of dating experts in terms of like this is probably our longest relationship. We really haven't had seriously relationships before. And feeling that opportunity costs of like, hey, do I keep putting deadlines on myself? Is this going to go longer now like do we need to end it and try to see if there may be a better fit or since it's the first relationship do I just give it time? I think basically overanalyzing things. Yeah. And then I think after I broke up and went through those four months, I had the opposite experience and she was like doing stuff and I was mostly like trying to be busy with work or basically like sulking and I was like oh yeah but we had we had been good about like hey, we were breaking up we're not going to communicate is going to be a healing environment in a silo we out there and then so we did that but after four months of fellow maybe I'll reach out again. Hopefully that was enough time where things weren't too premature. So that's when I reached out again and. It's just weird because now it feels like there was no breakdown. It just went. And so that and I think now acknowledge the this episode is sponsored by the Kia instrument. Movement in nature has inspired us for centuries, whether it's waves crashing on the beach, the movement of wind or the flight of birds through the air or in my case hugging canyons on two wheels, AKA my motorcycle. Movement in nature is also what inspires Kia. That's why Kia have turned sounds in nature into the first instrument that inspires you. Scientific research shows that the sounds of movement found in nature produce pink noise, a sound frequency that can help trigger inspiration. In collaboration with dull house audio and world leading synth builder Arthur joy Lee, Kia captured the sounds of movement all over the world and turned them into an instrument. Now Kia have partnered with SoundCloud to bring you the full Kia instrument experience. Listen to tracks made with this unique synth discover the science that went into making it, you'll even get the chance to play the instrument for yourself. To find out more, visit Kia dot com and start getting inspired. Because emotional stability, the just a support and I guess that's what a relationship looks like. So that's what it feels like before we had talked about this rod and this like now we're kind of at least I feel like I'm more both feet in character. But you were the one that was ambivalent before, right? Correct. And you feel like you're in this now. All right. And then I would ask her like, do you not feel any doubts? And she always would be sure. And I don't know why I see she's still shirt because she also from my point of view that we have invaded much. Yeah. So she happens to be sure. And that just seems very, very weird to me. But basically, the tables have turned. This is a case of it was you that was in business before and then now you're in it and now Jennifer, you seem to be ambivalent now, right? Or not in Woodland, but I felt like the first time around, we had like check ins where we would be like, okay, how do you feel? Do you feel more sure? Like a month later, and it never really went anywhere. So we do the same thing now. We have check ins. We said that was a terrible idea and he was just gonna stop focusing about the future very good. Because before that, I think I was trying to be extra mindful of because I am at Friends where they were like in a 5 year relationship, 70 relation under break up and then the girl was just like, hey, like what just happened? And super, super mindful of that. I'm trying to. Early I was trying to assess my feelings and try to figure out well, do I see our lives together forever now? If not, maybe I should break up. He was always conscious of that question.

John Kim KIA John Arthur Joy Lee Charlie Jennifer
A highlight from 447: Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:31 min | Last week

A highlight from 447: Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

"Okay, kids, we've got a wild one for you today. Buckle up this episode is hilarious candid, profane, meaningful, pretty much everything I like in life. Jonathan van Ness is perhaps best known as one of the stars of queer eye on Netflix, which is a great show, and he's great in it. Jonathan, or JVM, is a hairstylist by trade. It also a comedian podcaster and writer, Kevin is just out with a second book called love that story, a follow-up to the bestseller called over the top in which JVM went to public on some extremely private issues, including being HIV plus, surviving sexual abuse and recovering from drug addiction. In this very wide ranging conversation we talk about shame, body, dysmorphism, trauma, Jonathan's complex and contradictory feelings about shopping and we spend quite a bit of time on the subject of hope. Hope is kind of a tricky topic for me because it's often discussed in rather Gauzy and insubstantial terms, but JVM talks about it in a really raw and fascinating and practical way. I should say hope is actually the theme of this week. We're going to be following up on Wednesday with a researcher who has studied hope and has science based suggestions for cultivating hope as a mental skill. This is week two of our mental health reboot series that we've launched to Mark mental health awareness month every week we're pairing a mental health memoirist with a scientist. We've done sleep this week it's hope and we've got episodes coming up on loss slash grief and also on trauma or how to live with some of the worst stuff that's ever happened to you. So there are like 40 trigger warnings I need to issue before we dive in here. If you don't like swear words, you're gonna struggle with this episode if you don't like left leaning politics, beware. If you don't think grieving over the loss of a cat counts as real grief, might want to cover your ears. If you struggle with sexually explicit conversation, heads up on that and on a much more serious note, this interview also includes very Frank discussions of sexual abuse substance abuse and body dysmorphia as mentioned earlier. If you want to cleaned up version of this episode with the swear words bleeped, you can check it out on our website or on the 10% happier app. One last little bit of context here, you're going to hear Jonathan reference parts therapy or IFS or internal family systems that's a flavor of therapy where the therapist gets the patient to identify different aspects or parts of their personality and work with those different inner characters. We've got a whole episode with the founder of IFS that we posted a few months ago. We'll post a link to that in the show notes if you want to learn more.

Jonathan Van Ness Jonathan Netflix HIV Kevin Trauma Mark Frank
A highlight from Release stress by mindful walking in nature

Mindfulness For Beginners

00:52 sec | Last week

A highlight from Release stress by mindful walking in nature

"Lifting from the heel again. Really focusing on that feeling. Notice in the connection with the grind. And this we do this, we can notice thoughts array and leave. Not being swept away by them. Let's accepting them. Smiling to them. Letting them go. We're turning our attention to the feeling of walking on the earth. We might feel some gratitude for our feet. Being aware of how important they are for getting around. And I continue to breathe when we focus our attention on the

A highlight from What Are You Looking Forward To?

The Angry Therapist Podcast

07:05 min | Last week

A highlight from What Are You Looking Forward To?

"I'm standing underneath a flying octopus with ten inch tentacles. Just flying in the air. My toes wet in the sand and what you hear behind me is the Pacific Ocean. This is the beach that I used to attend all the time in high school. I mean, we would be down here every weekend. Left side of the pier, skimboarding, and of course skimboarding because although I've always wanted to learn how to surf, I had this water phobia and if a small fish grazed my shin, I would be like Jesus running on top of the water to the shore. So I got into skimboarding because I used to skate and that's where you kind of ride the short break in a lot of surfers. We call this posers, but we were actually really good at it. We spent hours skimboarding. And the point of the story is, while I'm here today, just watching my two year old playing in the sand and walking up the strangers. It reminded me of the days where it reminds me of the days in high school where we come to the beach, spend the whole day, get exhausted, and I remember with my back laying out in the sun, my back just getting toasted from the sand and the breeze. The feeling of anticipation and excitement, knowing that there was a party or an event or something to look forward to that night. And it always made me so happy. I didn't have a care in the world because there was something to look forward to. And of course, the beach always brings you calm or at least to me, it calms me down and it's a great opportunity to be really present and engaging. And I share this story because now of course we went to the party that night and the girl that you thought had a crush on you did it and of course it ended up being the worst night of your life. But the simple the simplicity of the beach skimboarding in and out burgers, all piled into the back of a pickup truck looking forward to a party that night. Made me so happy. And I think as we grow up, we lose track of things like that, really small things because we get obsessed with building something big or wanting something big and something as simple as a gathering or a party that we look forward to isn't enough, right? And I know there's a part of you that's like, well, John, that's because you were in high school. You grow up and, you know, different things matter, of course I get it. But if we can produce the feeling with what you have, that kind of simplicity going back to the basics, going back to something that lights you up and something as simple as a gathering or a party or having a crush on someone and being curious about that. I mean, why can't that be life? Why does that have to just stay in the past or when you were younger? I think part of growth and evolution is actually going back to the basics. This is why I love Marie Kondo's message of only keeping things that bring you joy because as we get older, you know, it's hard for us to let go and we hoard and we collect I love that process because it's a simplifies things and kind of like goes back to the basics. And as I'm sitting here, now at 49 same beach that I've been to a thousand times because I grew up in LA. It's a great reminder to go back to the basics and find joy in little things. What are you looking forward to? And it doesn't have to be huge, right? It doesn't have to be the next deal, a promotion, a raise, a marriage, what are you looking forward to that isn't? Normally that big of a deal, but if you think about it, it makes you happy. It brings you joy. What are you looking forward to that you already have? What are you looking forward to that isn't contingent on something else? On someone else's yes or no. What do you have in your life right now? That lights you up. You don't have to be in high school. Or a kid to experience little things like that and for those things to matter and change you. I think self betterment is more better reunion than anything else. So if you connect to parts of you that allowed yourself to look forward to things like that, maybe that would inject some hope and life wouldn't be such a grind. I get it if you're in a bad place, I get it if you have a shitty job and every day is the same shit different day and there's anxiety coming in everywhere. There's conflict and maybe your relationship is rocky. Of course, but sometimes just looking forward to training your brain to look forward to the little things that are already in your life where there is a party or dinner. Or hanging out with your two year old on the beach. That is life that is power filling and that will turn your life that will get you to live instead of just exists and I think it's a practice and I think it requires effort and intention. So as I'm talking to you today I'm being very present listening to the waves seeing this scene as I'm doing a podcast on the sand at the beach that I've been to a thousand times because I grew up here playing back memories of me skimboarding in the ocean. And today what's in front of me isn't a skin board but it's a two year old and taking it all in knowing that it's temporary but also looking forward to the little things that I have in my life today. What would it look like for you to do that? One of the things that just lit me up is it's happening is so my daughter went and just started talking to a stranger. An 8 year old and I felt very protective and cautious. I felt bad for the 8 year old because you know Logan just in her face and wanting to play and grab her hair and the 8 year old just grabbed Logan's hand. And now they're walking together and something so that simple and that innocent makes me smile. It reminds me that we are a human and

Marie Kondo Pacific Ocean John LA Logan
A highlight from Sylvia Boorstein  What We Nurture

On Being with Krista Tippett

00:46 sec | Last week

A highlight from Sylvia Boorstein What We Nurture

"For the children in our lives. Nobody tells you that they don't say when they hear and say, oh, you know, brace yourself. They say, they say congratulations. Because you notice that it's both. This congratulations. It's the most amazing thing we can do to create a new life that comes out with fingernails and eyelashes and all the fingers and toes. It's an amazing thing. And it's extremely awakening in the sense of knowing how vulnerable we are. I'm Krista tippett and this is on being. I spoke with Sylvia borstein with a live audience in 2011. At the invitation of WDET, Detroit public radio, and metro parent magazine. I stumbled

Krista Tippett Sylvia Borstein Metro Parent Magazine Detroit
A highlight from What if theres no problem?

Daily Whispers

04:08 min | 6 hrs ago

A highlight from What if theres no problem?

"But what if there was no problem? It's almost it's disarming for us. Especially if we, if we are in the habit of always having a problem, a work problem, an issue with the kids, financial problem, health problem, there's always something. So sometimes it's helpful to see others and see their patterns so much easier to see their patterns than it is to observe and even admit our own patterns. So for today, it's simply to observe observe others first without judgment, right? This is just a an exploration of human behavior. And then to observe yourself and observing ourselves is that practice of being mindful, being aware of behavior, thoughts, smells, senses, moment to moment. Watching our habit of mind. Our mental patterns, and so for today, it's really quite simple. It's just to continue to ask yourself. Throughout the day, what if there was no problem here? Right. What if there was no problem? You may be rolling your eyes right now and saying, Kara, I'm out. I don't want to do this. I like my problems. I like my drama. It feels comfortable to me. Living in the midst of chaos and disruption feels Not having a problem doesn't feel familiar to me, and that is scary as hell. And that's okay. Sometimes we have to just crawl up to these big inquiries because they can be disarming. And uncomfortable. I'm gonna do this myself, I'll let you know how it feels. What if there was no problem? With me, not having a home right now. What if there was no problem with me? Being on the road, hotel to hotel. Drinking bad coffee and, you know, what if there was no problem? With all of this. Sand in my shoes and whatever. What if there was no problem? I'd like love, love, love to know how this practice lands for you. I'm here for you to help you navigate through some of this unchartered territory. Some of this shaky ground. This is it, stepping up to the boundary of what is known and familiar. It's where we break through our limiting beliefs, it's where ahas and wisdom and incite come through. It's where we feel most alive, my friend, and that, to me, that is the Chalice, right? That is the Holy Grail. Is that sense of being fully alive in a wake in this human experience? That's all I have for today. I so welcome your feedback. I so welcome your engagement. Drop into the show notes, go find a Jeff's book, and why not grab hold of my mental fitness protocol because that is where I load my practices that I've recorded over the years. And you can have them all in one spot. Thank you, have a great day. Go out there and go explore. No problem living.

Kara Jeff
A highlight from The feeling of grateful in your body

Daily Whispers

00:57 sec | 5 d ago

A highlight from The feeling of grateful in your body

"And you could feel almost feel it like a warm blanket coming over you. A sense of just being with this person in your body in your breath. You can bring to mind something in your life, past or present, that has really served you. An opportunity, a gift, a, a state of health, and well-being, and again just bring it in, I like to bring it in with my breath. I find that it's like I can inhale it into my being. And then the exhale I just, I can send it to the outer edges of who I am in my body. In

A highlight from When lightning strikes. Why you could be missing your sign to strike big in your life.

Lesley's Lessons Podcast

07:54 min | Last week

A highlight from When lightning strikes. Why you could be missing your sign to strike big in your life.

"When you see lightning, you know what to do. You know how to look for cover and keep yourself safe. You can think of ways how to handle it or not handle it and just stay out of the way. But what happens when you can't see lightning so to speak in a life? You don't know what to look for. You didn't hear it coming. You didn't see the signs, but you knew in your heart that it was time to make a change. But you didn't see the lightning. So you didn't move. Or you didn't take it seriously. You didn't push yourself a little bit more because you don't see the urgency to take a leap. And I just want to encourage someone who's really at a place where they feel now is the time to make that change. Not everyone is going to see the lightning. They're not going to see that now is to change. If you think about it, you know, no one really knows how to do anything in life. We all follow some format, you know, the movies taught us how to kiss, you know, we learned how to love through our families and seeing the couples that lasted, oh, it must work like this. You know, when we argue we should argue like this, oh, style and fashion, we get it from TVs or our icons and magazines, but it's very uncomfortable in a different thing to say, you know what? I want to come up with something for myself. Then that's when we get in trouble with other people, what do you mean? How is that going to work? Do you have enough savings? How long do you know that person? Who else works in that industry? And it's not that it's not from a good place of concern, but when does that concern take over what you want to do? We're so obsessed with having the answers. Okay, that's your idea. What is the answer? Oh, you're going to get married? What was the formula? Oh, you're going to start that new job? How good are they? How are the benefits? You know, you can have every answer for the truth is you'll never have the answer that experience will get you. Experience once you dive in is when you're going to get your answer. No one knows for sure how things will work out. Because how will you feel if you never tried? I wish there was a fail proof way I can tell you, no one knows that the most successful people in this world can tell you how to fail because they tried and they tried and they tried and they didn't give up. And that lane is not for everybody. You can lose money, you can lose relationships, you could even lose yourself. Because you're wondering at times, what did I just do? Suppose this doesn't work. And I think we focus on the results more than focusing on like, wow, I'm taking this step, this bold step, this unknown step for myself. And that is not always easy to do. But if you glow and it just brings you joy in your heart and when you think about it, it just feels so natural, like a natural calling. And it just aligns with where you are in life. Who you are, how could you not go for it? That joy, that is that willingness to learn that refreshed energy is your lightning. Sometimes the signs are not loud and thunderous and in our face and sometimes they're soft and subtle and quiet but consistent, sometimes they make us afraid and nervous and has us thinking different scenarios and how is this going to work? But it's consistent, but it's consistently in your mind. But it's consistently in your mind for a reason. And you could say, well, suppose I'm just projecting, maybe I'm just scared about something else in my life. Maybe I'm scared about asking for a promotion or starting something finishing something else that I have going on in my life. Maybe? But the end result is still you, knowing when to just do it. Ten years can go by really quick. You will change from one decade, you're like this in the beginning of the year, the middle and then towards the end of that decade. A lot can happen. We don't have time to waste. So take advantage, take advantage of the lightning that you see, and don't depend on others to see it. It's a message for you. Won't you listen to it? Whatever it is you desire is trying to find you, is trying to say I'm here as well. What are we gonna do? So what are you gonna do? Grab a pen? Grab a notepad, write down some ideas, put on your shoes, look in the mirror, look yourself over, remind yourself who you are, how amazing you are and get to work, when whatever aspect, that is. It is not too late. Don't let anyone expire you, don't let anyone tell you you're too young to hold too fat, too skinny to this, to that you define you. No one has life figured out. It's just that the majority of us have taken what they've seen through other people's eyes and other people's opinions as law. We are all individuals and what will work for you and what keeps you going and motivated? Not be the same thing for other people. What makes you confident might make someone else

The breakup is not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person.   -

Lesley's Lessons Podcast

07:27 min | 2 months ago

The breakup is not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person. -

"And just mental capacity when things don't work out. And let's face it, no one wants to prepare for a relationship to be doomed. It's just, that's what happens. Some part of our lives on our journey. And what do you do? Recently, I recorded an audiobook. How to turn a breakup into a breakthrough, and move on like a boss. And it's really a mental thing. You don't have to be a boss and a company or anything like that, but the attributes of a boss. Being in control, taking charge, going after what you want, getting to business, project management, you can take attributes of a boss and apply it to your emotional side. Because we don't want to stay in that space, right? It's not good there. If you stay too long at that space, all you're going to do is get depressed. If you look in the future based on that space, all you're going to do is feel anxious and we don't want you to feel anxious, we want you to be in the present and be your best. And I wanted to speak to people who often get overlooked. I find that sometimes we keep it a little a little bit more surface a little bit more general when it comes to talking about dealing with a breakup. Not everyone has handled it in a model way, you know, not everyone becomes friends, not everyone is able to just get up out of bed, brush their teeth, start their day without feeling like they're dying inside. Not everyone understands no is no. And you have to stop contacting me, stop acting like we're still together. And I wanted to bring that together in a safe space for people who are in different areas of the spectrum of accepting a breakup. Understand the triggers of what caused the breakup, the duels and don'ts of what you don't want to do that's only going to make things worse for yourself and what you can do to heal and move on. Granted, you might be the person who might still have a chance with someone. But I didn't want to focus on that. That's your journey to decide. This is about someone who it is clearly over and you are struggling to get a hold of it. You might look put together on the outside is still doing the same things, still getting your coffee, tea, going to the gym, getting your hair done. You still doing the routine on the outside, while on the inside, you're dying inside, and we don't want that. You have the capacity to heal. You have the ability to thrive in life and to move on. And what do we often do? Let's see who we can get involved in our life to kind of distract us, try that. Let's DM someone. Let's flirt with someone and see what happens. Try that. And everything that you've tried has not worked, and you find yourself going around in circles and more frustrated as time goes by. And I just wanted to, in my own life, I've dealt with people who haven't accepted a breakup. And I know how that felt on my end. Was I not direct enough? Why is this happening? Why are you so why are you still there, why are people stalking people? Why are people abusing people shaming people airing dirty laundry or trying to get them jealous? Like, why are you doing these things trying to embarrass them? Why are you doing these things when the breakup is really not personal? It's not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person. So either if you're the person that's struggling to accept the breakup, you're hurting, you want desperately that person back. You want that person back or you just don't know what to do. There's something for you in this book. And there's something for you. There's jewels of advice for you in this book. And my goal wasn't to make someone feel ashamed of how they feel, but to feel comfortable knowing that you know what? I've been trying to deal with this on my own, but I don't have to tools. I don't know what to do. I'm going to my usual moves in my own mental survival kit, but it's not working. I need new energy. I need a new way of thinking. How to do this in my life. And it can be tough when you feel like just abruptly something drastic happens in your life. And you don't know what to do. It's uncomfortable. The pattern was unexpected, even if you had an idea, you didn't think it was going to happen right now. So I just want to encourage you that it's not too late, and it's not too late for you, but we have to get you to focus on you right now. It's time to check out of the usual routine the things that you're doing and let's get to work. Because life still needs you. And it's about being motivated to live life. And this is just a small step in your life and there's so much more to come and I want that for you. So if you are dealing with a breakup or could have been a year ago, it could have been ten years, 20 years ago, isn't it time to get back to you? Isn't it time to laugh again? Get those laughs back. Get whatever you feel like you lost from that relationship back in your life. Get some your smile dance again, you know? So I hope this is able to help you. If you are looking for something to listen to, I encourage you to check it out. I just thought about how grew some it can feel sometimes. How you can feel isolated with your pain. And I didn't want that feel. I wanted to write a book to help people no longer feel isolated with their pain, but to feel inspired to come out of their shell and heal and move forward in their life. There's one thing to tell someone you got this, go for it, you'll be okay, but I wanted to take it a step further and help put steps in place to help you know how to do that. Be your own hero, you have the capacity to save yourself. You just have to look and see that you are wearing a life

Mindfulness Self Care Motivational Spirituality Inspirational Personal Development DON
Breakdown of Meaning and the Courage to Despair: Insights of Paul Tillich [SSL 205] - burst 2

Spark My Muse

01:00 min | 8 months ago

Breakdown of Meaning and the Courage to Despair: Insights of Paul Tillich [SSL 205] - burst 2

"Existentialism as it appeared in the twentieth century represents the most vivid and threatening meaning of existential in it the whole development comes to a point beyond which cannot go it has become a reality in all the countries of the western world it is expressed in all the realms of humans spiritual creativity it penetrates all educated classes. It is not the invention of a bohemian philosopher or of a neurotic novelist. It is not a exaggeration made for the sake of profit and fame. It is not a morbid play with negativities elements of all these have entered it but it itself is something else it is the expression of the anxiety of meaninglessness and of the attempt to take this anxiety into the courage to be as once-off

Tillich Russia Lisa United States Government CIA
Finding The Pieces of Yourself That You've Lost

Real Ass Affirmations

02:34 min | 8 months ago

Finding The Pieces of Yourself That You've Lost

"Is easier to go. Sleep is easier to procrastinate. Is easier to stop doing something. Because you're not feeling it right now but the things that we do on a daily basis provide us with the goals and the achievements that we want and it's just really hard sometimes to see your way clear through that forest through that foggy day to say i got to get me back like this was really happening right now right. You're in a situation where you feel like you've lost your self and the only person that can get you back. Is you so all the excuses that you've told yourself all the naps that you've taken all of the phone calls and emails that you didn't respond to all of the times that she said you were going to go somewhere and you were going to do something in the you just like faggot. I'm not doing it. All of that is because you lost a piece of you and you need to find that piece of peace which allows you to be as great as you possibly can now what you have to do in order to find that it's going to be different for each individual partisan but i'm a big for that you already know what's missing you already know what would make you happy. You already know what's not bringing you joy right now so when you evaluate this and you take inventory of who you are who you were and who you want to be. They may not be the same person. Oh shit somebody's just realizing this about themselves on Yeah issue you know who you. Were you know that there were certain things that brought you joy in that made you happy. And they're not doing it for you anymore and there are other things that you may be didn't even think about right and now that thing is making you happy and it is breaking you a piece of peace. So who do you need to find. You need to find you because some where along the line you lost the most important person to you which is yourself

You Get To Make This Up!

On The Verge

02:22 min | 8 months ago

You Get To Make This Up!

"You get to make this up. I thought about that this morning. When i was sitting with my journal and all of a sudden i wrote morning messages. Go back to morning messages. And i thought to myself as my as my doubting mind came in all. But you've tried that and you've gotten tired or you've got lost things to say or you weren't sure if it was working or not and then i wrote down in the next moment you get to make this up and not only do i get to make it up and try again. Get back on the horse. Do these morning messages again. But you get to make up your life as well you know at the end of the day. No one's really watching. No one's keeping score. No one's keeping count that you stopped and started something that you tried several times and maybe felt like you failed. No one is really watching so you get to make it up. Think about the things that are moving through that creative energy that creative impulse. What is it that is nagging at you in those early hours of the morning to pick your paintbrush backup to to try something new in how you move your body to let go of something. That's not working. We get to make this up and as we all know now after a year and a half of incredible uncertainty in the world. Nothing is forever we can change on a dime as we all had to change during the pandemic. We all became so nimble so flexible. Even if we didn't want to we did it anyway. Well how about if you want to help out if you want to change you wanna make it up. If there's anything that i can share in these morning messages. And i hope it comes through loud and clear is that we get to change. We get to change our story. We get to let go of what doesn't work anymore. We get to embrace who we are becoming and so if that means doing something that you've tried ten times before but you have a new impulse to do it just like i do with these morning messages. Then go for

Why Creativity Equals Productivity With Author Joe Sanok

Mindfulness Mode

01:18 min | 8 months ago

Why Creativity Equals Productivity With Author Joe Sanok

"You have got so much to say about creativity and productivity. Why is it that creativity causes us to be more productive. What's that all about. Yeah i think intuitive we know this and a lot of the science backs it up as well but just think about when you have your best ideas you know when you're stressed out or maxed out. It's when you're taking a shower when you're out for a hike when you're on a long drive and maybe turn off the radio for a while It's when our brains are able to rest when we're not really in that fight flight or freeze and so we know that if we're going to be more creative it doesn't start with having a week. That's maxed out and stressed out and then we have a weekend where we're just recovering that we go right back into it. It's where we start with the slowing down when we start with that that mindfulness and we allow our brains to relax. I and ask those hard questions of. What is this weekend. need From me and from my brain. How do i best myself for this next week. the idea that we work five full days and then for two days we take off. It just doesn't work anymore. And as we look at the research on the forty workweek and about making thursday the new friday we see emerging more and more that countries and businesses that are switching to a four day of work three days off are seeing better productivity and creativity.

Why We Need More Humanness on the Internet

Mindful Productivity Podcast

01:25 min | 8 months ago

Why We Need More Humanness on the Internet

"We just need more humanness on the internet. I think we think we have it. But i don't think we're there yet I don't think we're there yet. I know this. Because as soon as i like. Put a camera in front of my face or start talking on instagram stories. Or even go live. It's like i'm a nuanced version of myself. I'm still me. I'm still real. I'm still authentic. But i'm trying to be authentic. Does that make sense. So it's like. I'm almost not even thinking about how i'm talking now versus how i talk to my podcast right like i. I'm trying to convey something. So because of that i'm trying. I'm just a different version of myself. It's not it's not this like raw version of my of myself. I think that's we missed that online. And i think it's because like there's all these ways that we mask rate there's like professionalism and all these things and they make sense. I'm not saying we do away with those. But i just think that there's there's some kind of veil that if we could take it down online and really see more of ourselves. I think that's what tick talks doing right now. Honestly a lot of these talking head videos people are just having conversations about how they feel or literally breaking down into tears talking about their experiences and people are actually relating to other