Whether you're struggling with your mental health or trying to support someone who is, we've got you covered. Listen to the latest tips, strategies, and practical advice from a series of honest and lively conversations. Aired from leading talk radio shows and premium podcasts.
Managing care During COVID
"What's an average day like for you. Caretaking on a typical day to feel like you have things under control while. I'm going to answer the second question i do. I have things under control. Never never ever ever. It's like. I'm on this constant roller coaster of ups and downs Just one. I think i've got it under control. The rug gets pulled out from underneath me. So what is an average day like my kids are early birds and for the record i hard roll my eyes that anyone who says their kids are early birds and then proceeds to tell me that they're little angels wake up at seven. Am shut up. try waking up every single day at five. Am for six years to just energetic screaming. Demanding kids. I don't know why i was blessed with early birds but here it's not as if the universe looks at us. Ms like a handful. Move onto somebody else quite often the terrible things. Just keep happening. They just keep piling up and for so many of us were not just caregiving in a traditional sense. Were caring for the people in our lives. In different ways. We are blurring the lines of our relationships between being caregiver and being a mother being a daughter being a sister being a wife being husband. I don't know. I said all all female roles except that i mean we got a lot of women's voices in here. I am a caregiver to my son. Boden he is eight years old and has acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I think one of the interesting things about being a caregiver to your own son or child is it's hard to distinguish what is just being a mom from what is being a caretaker. I ended up spending a lot of thought cycles and kind of emotional energy taking of him in a way. That is different than the way i take care of my other children. I then have to work through and process. The guilt of that discrepancy knowing both that biden has kind of different story or a different journey than the other kids that i have. But also that i'm all of their moms and so how do you kind of identified the difference between where caregiving stops and where mothering takes back up. When i was reading through your questions when you said caregiver like Or what is a normal day of caregiving. Look like. I kind of laughed. Because i thought man i think from the moment i opened my eyes to the moment i closed them giving Once pediatric cancer is kind of rock. Your world. I'm not sure there's really a space outside of it. I'm thinking about things. Like why is he not hungry for breakfast. Why is he craving meat. Why does he not wear a jacket. Is it because of a side effect of chemotherapy. Why is he sitting on the outside. When i pick them up from school wise. He's sitting on the outside of the soccer game Is it because his legs hurt is it because of the neuropathy whenever he has trouble with his homework is at a side effect from the chemotherapy. Is it affecting his cognitive function. Is it just him. Being eight I think when your role as a caregiver is so interwoven with your role as another relation like for me. His mother is just hard to kind of tease out. What part is caregiving. And what part is just living with a person with cancer so the average day for me really changed a lot during the various stages of my mom's illness she had end stage breast cancer and in the beginning when the cancer i came back it caused a lot of fluid to build up around her lung and then her lungs to collapse so at that point. We really didn't know that it was her cancer that was back and we were dealing with a medical emergency so my mom had to undergo invasive tests and surgery and there were just days with a lot of uncertainty about the diagnosis and the prognosis. And i was travelling back and forth from durham to charlotte while also taking care of my own family Here in durham and and working fulltime
Failure Is Inevitable, And Necessary
"When i was a kid i used to downhill ski fairly often. I loved it and one particular winter. I decided to go out to my local ski hill quite a bit in an attempt to improve to get better one day i was out there and i skied all morning and when i went in for lunch one of the ski instructors who i just knew worked at that place was in the chalet and i mentioned that for all the times. I was getting out there this winter. I didn't think that i was progressing very much. And he asked me a question that still rings in my ear to this day over twenty years later he asked. How many times did you fall today. And i replied. And i was actually pretty smug and proud of myself. I said why didn't fall today. And he replied. That is why you're not getting any better. You're only doing runs and skiing in a way. That is already comfortable to you. That's not how you grow improve. You grow and improve by trying. New runs harder runs by skiing faster or on moguls or on more narrow runs you get better by putting yourself in new situations situations where you most certainly will fall a lot. That's how you get better. You fall a lot now. Let's all take a moment of silence for that probably freshman in college and his profound wisdom. You only grow when you fall a lot now. I can't think of many other life experiences. That require more personal growth than entrepreneurship launching a new product or new service into the market. It takes grit and resilience and strength and bravery and even if there are competitors in your market who have already have some history who've done the thing that you're going to do that product or service offering and that business is still likely new to you even if you're an expert at creating your product or delivering your service. You're likely not an expert at all with the surrounding skills. You need in order to make your businesses success. Things like sales and marketing communication positioning culture creation hiring entrepreneurs in the early years play so many roles in their businesses and most of those roles are new. And here's the thing if you're an entrepreneur or your go-getter in your professional field you've likely learned time and time again throughout your life. That failure is bad. It means that you did something wrong. You miss something important. Failure is bad and therefore you are bad so you cross those two things right the inevitability of failure and the negative relationship that most of us have with it and it is a recipe for friction and pain and suffering in business. Now what this means is that we need to get better and redefine our relationship with failure. We need to get better at failing. To how the heck do we do that. There was some clues in a research. Study published in two thousand sixteen in the journal of entrepreneurship theory and practice and these researchers looked at the factors that facilitate business success after a failure. How cool is that right. This is research that people are doing and they identified two factors. So i want to go through them. I they identified that people who have something called an intuitive cognitive style are better to go are better able to grow after failure. People with an intuitive cognitive style are people who are able to process murky ambiguous and complex information into insight and knowledge and direction that can inform future opportunities and future growth. So basically what that boils down to is. We're more likely to learn and grow after the inevitable failure that we're going to experience as entrepreneurs if we intentionally work to process the situation and dry out insight from it now. Let's take a minute to just review what we typically do when we fail. We avoid thinking about it. We wanted to just move on. And we don't wanna have to relive the experience of the failure that we just had researched found that it's actually the opposite thing that helps us grow from failure. If we can process through the information about the failure and draw out insight and knowledge we can move in a better direction in the future and seek out more opportunities for us to succeed. That's awesome.
Checking In With Ilyasah Shabazz
"This is a really important podcast. I'm sharing with you today. This podcast is definitely based on my mental health journey It's also based on the book of the same name. But today my guests el-yassa she has me Checking back in on my journey of faith. Today's theme of strength and as a community. And i believe you guys are going to hear some inspiring word from this amazing powerful guest that will help us continue to prevail through these difficult times in our country in in the world. This recording today is something very special. Something very spiritual. My palms are sweating. Because i have the privilege and the honor to have ilyasova chubais checking in with us today. Ilyasova is an author and educator professor at activist and she is the daughter of malcolm x and betty shabazz size. Yup please welcome. Ill yasser shabas. Thank you so much. It's such an honor to be here with michelle. I was really looking forward to this. Because i thought this was going to just a relaxing living room kind of conversation. And oh i tell you. It's been a long year. So i was looking forward. Were not a long day. It's been a very long here is been a long year and we are two months into the new year and end this new year. You released a book and january copy awakening of malcolm x. And it is an account of his adolescent years in prison and. I know that this is what you've been doing all year long. Not only all year long. You've been doing this all lifelong. Yes i have. I've been doing this for a while. And you know i've had many people ask me. When did i know. I was going to step in my father's shoes or or something like that. And it's definitely not stepping into anyone shoes not taking someone's legacy it's way. My mother raised her girl. She always said today. Elliott suggests must drink water. When must give back and you know. She was this example in spite of having six daughters that we felt constable enough when our girlfriends had questions. If i didn't have the answer. I knew my mother had the so. We always we will bring our fence over to ask my mother questions that we needed answers or encouragement or solutions and she was just always there. And so someone who has such compassion. Trust love all. So unconditional makes it easy for you to be the same and so here you go.
New York City to test no-police mental crisis response in Harlem
"After several incidents of mentally ill New Yorkers killed by police. The city Council is considering several bills that would reduce the NYPD is response to such calls, WCBS reporter Marla Diamond explains. While the NYPD is use of deadly force has declined the city Council's mental health Committee Chairwoman Farrell Lewis of Brooklyn. Says 16 Mentally ill. New Yorkers in crisis have been killed by police in the past five years. So how many one New York is that we need to die or experienced violence? What trauma at the hands of police before we say enough City Public advocate you money. Williams Bill would create a three digit number for mental health emergencies with public health professionals responding We have to Also remember there was something goes wrong. If something went wrong, everyone was saying, Well, where was the police? We have to change that dynamic because we know even one police. Are there things go wrong. The city will begin a pilot program this spring and three Harlem precinct's where city social workers and f d N y E M. T s will be the response to nonviolent mental health emergencies for the first time in New York City's
Emotional Maps And Mind Body Integrated therapy
"Beverly thank you very much for coming on the podcast episode on quite happy that we've been able to shed gillette time to have the interview. We started talking about this on a forum. Forward to geogra- photon full balloon. Second brian and we started talking about the psychology side of things in how the brain processes things in various Topics we dogged in. And i decided to get you on because i wanted to find out more about some of the work that you're doing have got a specific interest. In how the brain processes information. But i'd like to find out more information about also how emotions play a key role in how the body processes information. You came out with some really interesting information of that and then also dive into some of the things that you're talking about the neural maps in and some of the biotechnology. So if you can start tell the listeners. A bit more about yourself. And then we'll dive into some of the questions for first of all thank you lance for me. It's really an honor to the on your podcast. A little bit about. I have been a mind body. Integrative therapist for over thirty three years in private practice in santa fe new mexico. And my buddy. Integrative therapist is an umbrella term that i developed quite a while ago to encompass all the different aspects of what i do my licenses etc cetera. So i'm a clinical counselor. And i'm a body worker manual therapists and i'm a naturopathic doctor and i also not for thirty three years but since two thousand and thirteen or thereabouts have been doing bio energetically in working to map the bio energetic field. So i work with clients. My specialty is and has been in trauma. Big t. little t and but it all boils down to helping people. Release the grip of that old patterning on their brain behavior of their perceptions emotions eccentric cetera. And so i've also studied a lot about the way. The brain works the way the brain patterns information and i've developed some ways of really beginning to change some of those old well warm neuro trackways that it's like the maps that we follow our default. I've really been able to help a lot of my clients. Get free of those old patterns and develop new trackways new pathways of behavior perception ways of experiencing themselves in the world in the world in relation to themselves so this quite a lot of topics. And there's quite a lot of information in that introduction. It's not a bad thing. I think this much interesting information in there. Which i think can be really valuable because i've been doing a lot of research on how brian processes out learns how things have subconscious ties into behaviors and also cognitive biases. The reason why. I wanted to get you on his actually find out more about the the areas that you're looking into specifically to actually find out how you change the mapping. That's quite a tricky thing to do. Because obviously when you start dealing with subconscious you talking about a lot of strongly program behaviors and they tied very deeply into emotional state and also the motions because i said tightly integrated it's quite interesting to to see how you're able to change that. I think we can. We can probably have a lot of really about just that part of it so the first thing wanted to find out a bit more is your research. How did you get involved with it. And what have you learned from that. That bioenergetics youth so years ago. There was a series of conferences being held in santa fe called science and consciousness. And i would go to those conferences and partake in a lot of the different programs offered for of years scientists from russia youth constituting caracal was invited to speak and he would show his equipment and equipment. I'm using the guests. Discharge visualization electron photonic imaging system and he would present the research teams doing spatially like like measuring and mapping the energetics and different sacred sites and the research that they were doing in hospitals and clinics universities etc etc and i was fascinated by that and determine that one way or another i would eventually get that equipment and start doing my own research and use it with clients and just not my own interests and in two thousand thirteen. I did manage to get a camera. And it's a camera equipment that there's a lot of different aspects because they have the professional system they use it in hospitals and clinics in russia about sixty to other countries. It's scientific research quality equipment and it comes with a very sophisticated suite of software based on different algorithms that have been tested and retested and to healthy years mostly in russia and and what it allows me to do is i can. Test spatial feels the effects of our energy. Thoughts are feelings. Different things that are providing em- put into a space a room and environment and see the effects of that. I can contest the same facts in water. Which is quite an amazing recorder and actually also transmitter works two ways and most importantly i can task. What's going on in individuals and this equipment enables me to be able to test the second emotional field which the russians referred to as the informational feel for very important reasons and also the the physical field. The functional energy of all the organs. How well they're working etc etcetera.
How Poor Food Choices Lead to Depression
"I'm caroline hudson and a registered and licensed citation for many years and over these years. I have seen firsthand the impact. The foods people eat have on their body and of course their brain health so last week car us started the show with a great quote from dr. Alan are gay. He's the author of nutritional medicine. That's really a science nutrition reference book for physicians and healthcare practitioners. Here's what he wrote. And i quote big macs lead to zantac which leads to prozac so if you jin tier that quote last week i'm going to go into a little more detail about that. So eating big macs making poor food choices. Time and time again often leads to digestive problems gastrointestinal problems which will most likely require some kind of digestive medication. such as an tech or prior lasek. Nexium practice said. Tom's you know we all hear about those right. So taking any of these digestive medications often leads to an inability to break down or digest your protein and that's going to result in a deficiency of amino acids and you need amino acids to actually make neuro transmitters. Those are those you know. Feel good brain transmitters especially serotonin and deficiency of serotonin can actually bring on depression and may eventually bring about a need for an anti depressant. Prescription like prozac. So being a dietitian again for over years. I've had the opportunity to observe the impact that process food diet has had on the decline of people's health both the health of their body and the health of their brain
Myth Busting Mental Health Advice
"Just to give that and also our listeners. Some context. Kate is my old boss and kind of gave me what if my first jobs in journalism. So for me is like oh. We ate full circle moment of now having on the port cup ellen. No it's lovely. It's like we it because of the strangeness of it is that you'll coming on to talk about depression and at the time when we met. I don't think you would have known that. I was severely depressed and i definitely didn't know that you were severely depressed. So it's really strange to then use lay to be like. Oh you're not exactly so. Can you tell us a little bit about depression. And how it started fee what it feels like. When did you realize that it's not just the normal sites. I guess when. I was just crying every single day all the time when i wasn't with people like even it got to the point. Where even if. I was going to the bathroom at work or just happened to cry and i was thinking night. Why why is this happening. Joel's like i really liked my job every like my colleagues. I wasn't actually feeding a reason to pinpointed on like nothing happened to me. i know. People's depression gets triggered by an event or something But you know everyone was alive and well in lovely was like why am i calling so much Why do i feel so we'd and A couple of physical symptoms as well that ignored for a while and then try to get those figured out By various medical tests on the response from the tests would like your grand. You probably just depressed with the physical symptoms. Or i came back from traveling i went. I quit my job in the end to go traveling. Because i couldn't handle the depression snowflake i came back. I felt really really sick and really really busy. All the time. And i was like off probably go some tropical insects living inside of meat. I read in magazines and like really adjusted symptoms and like crazy poo in all kinds of stuff and went to the hospital and had a camera. Put down my throat Justice system Because it will test symptoms and stuff that we've done previously. They were like all right. We need to have a remedy around but there was nothing there On the same with the dizziness. Feeling like i was going to fall over. I kept. I actually did full a lot on the even sitting on chairs and stuff just felt like the chasma warbling about to fall off the chair. Aaron and i had a brain scan for that. I had my ears tested and like old the kind of balance and it could librium and they were like you find. It's probably mental and one of the news is who's going through my results afterwards like you seem quite sad to be honest if property. This is probably depression of anything physical which was quite shocking because the simpsons with strong enough to be going to hospital and have people poking around immune size shocked when they said that on. Dvd kind of guy. Okay like they have a point. I have been feeling really rubbish. I am. I was shocked that the symptoms could be so physical for something that everybody defines this as only mental. You guys know as well like it's it's not just a mental condition. But i was like okay. Yeah i have been feeling crap. I think i've been caught trying to ignore it unlike just tough enough and keep smiling trying to be strong and a stone cold pitch but working so yeah then i ended up doing. I'm one of those tests on the website. It's like do you have depression. And it was like. Oh yes you do.
Beating Anxiety With Food With Liana Werner-Gray
"Well. Hey guys welcome. Back to the podcast. Today we're gonna talk about anxiety free with food. And we have the author of this great new book liana werner gray. She's a good friend of mine. She's written the earth diet cancer-free with food and now her new release anxiety free with fooding zaidi's such a big issue. There's so many people that are dealing with at especially with everything that's been going on in the world today and definitely a key link between gut health in the foods that were eating and how our brain is handling stress how reactive we are The way that we are processing the things are in our world and sewing. Zayed's is not something that is You know it's not a. It's not an end destination there. There's a lot of hope for a lot of things we can do for it and really starts with our nutrition lifestyle choices that were making so liana. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on wolf for sure and again. This is such an important topic. And you know you're a young woman and so anxiety. Obviously all all all genders all demographics steel with anxiety but especially women and would love to hear your story. Yeah so anxiety. Apparently this year the stats have gone up to one in. Three people are really struggling with anxiety versus one in five last year in two thousand and nineteen. Now it's already into two one now. Yes so it's anxieties to skyrocketed and it does affect everyone end a small amount of anxiety to as a stress response is considered healthy. So if something happens to us and we naturally feel that stress. It's the mind in the body's way of saying okay need to have a resolution for this but anxiety that is happening for hours or days days. That is a severe anxiety that we need to be suffering worth of struggling with end. What i discovered was that there are actually some really simple and quick effective ways to clear out anxiety and he'll it especially with focusing on nutrition. Sir i was experiencing heightened amount of anxiety and i was curious as to where it was coming from because i have a lot of faith believe in god and goddess like dart have anxiety costs. All your kids on me. And i was constantly doing that so i was like. I don't think it's coming from from a spiritual reason. And i thought i don't think it's coming from a mental or emotional reason either and i thought this might be purely chemical and it could be a chemistry balanced my brain and so i went and got a blood tests. Done and sure enough isn't in one of the main things that if we're deficient in that we will have anxiety. According to science so short enough. I was deficient in her mega. Three fatty acids and my started taking fish oil supplements Wild fish and then eating more cheese hemp seeds and a matter of days. I could feel the difference. My brain felt more if that's visual. Nfl less scotteri. My nervous system felt more common for chris. I didn't feel more tired. I felt more alert and energize and it was incredible feeling and i thought wow if this is if it's as simple as this and a lotta people are also chemically imbalanced with their physical buddy than i wanna share this answer. I really went down the rabbit hall set of researching putting this book together and found out a lot of other nutritional reasons for the causes of anxiety and then do a lotta research. What foods can help clear out. And then what food. You're actually proven genetic that actually causes anxiety as soon as we put them into a mouse. Yeah it's a really good. Really good intro to this topic. And so we know that fish oil. Epa ya the long chain omega threes really play important role in the brain and also play important role in our inflammatory process. And so you know where people have been told when they have mood disorders that these things are chemical imbalances but the chemical imbalance is really downstream. It's you know it's not. The root cause cause oftentimes has to do with nutrient deficiencies and chronic inflammation. In the brain. We have inflammation in the brain. Were going to be more. Reactive are neurons can be closer to thresholds. they're going to be Firing off from stimuli. That probably probably shouldn't be firing off from right. Which makes them more reactive. And you know makes you have a lot more. Cha challenges just trying to control your emotions and so glad that you're able to figure that out and make a threes are really critical at this. So let's talk about the relationship between the gut and what's happening in the gut and what's happening in the brain. Yeah we'll i know you're a gun expert and i love the work that you do on this and serve all of the studies on anxiety pointed to the gut brain connection and how connected they are and that we have certain gut microbiome fascinating studies. That i found was that people with anxiety have a difference dot microbiome than people who dart have severe anxiety. That was fascinating to me. So then that tells us that we can change our gut microbiome and that will therefore change the anxiety that we experience and then we can also work on the the brain pot a bit and the part of it will reduce that. That's also going to change our gut microbiome so they work hand in hand with each other and so in my book. It's full of recipes and foods that really helped cultivate are very a very healthy gut. Microbiome and healthy gut environment and helped clear out d talks. I'm a huge advocate for detoxing especially people are just new to getting into this then. A detox is totally critical to clean out. That you know the dirty water so to speak dirty water we can fill it out with the clean water so doing a detox to clear out the gut and then start rebuilding it with all the good stuff and that helps out brain sorry much. Their source are connected that gut brain connection.
Finding the One (Therapist Who Gets You)
"Hi my name is era. I am twenty four years old and am from texas a small town in texas. So i hadn't really talked about therapy danny body or heard about their p for the most part because it's not something that was discussed in my family or at my school with my peers. There's such a stigma around in the black community is not something that i thought i'd ever need until i got to college. And so once. I went to college and i started struggling a little bit especially since i went to. Ap w i primarily why institution. I felt pretty isolated. And eventually i decided i e. I need to do something about this. Some of the things that i wanted to talk about specifically dealt with me being a black woman. And that's something that's hard to talk about with people. Who don that experience directly. Czar barnes executive editor. Here itself has written a lot about mental health in general and mental health black people specifically so when care wrote to us i was like i have talked is are we work together but we've never actually interviewed each other before so this is a new milestone zarin. I talk basically all day every day. Not in this context though pretty much constantly slacking constantly getting on zooms. But i'm excited to do this. Which is a little different for us back in june. Sarah wrote this incredible article. Forty four mental health resources for black people trying to survive. In this country there are list of people and organizations to follow directories and her own words of encouragement and support. Let's tell the story from the beginning like what was happening that week. That made you decide. I have to write this. I mean it was just the constant flood of honestly traumatizing news about violence against black people. In this country this was right around the time. When the protests about george floyd stuff were really kicking off in earnest and in my role as the journalist over multiple years. I've had to cover news while also having a lot of feelings about the news but it has never been this intense for me as it was that week zara knew that if she was having a hard time finding mental health resources for herself and her friends after all her years of reporting on this. She probably wasn't alone. She wanted to do something to help. Change that. And to normalize the conversation. There still so much stigma when it comes to talking about health in our society in general. But there's also a very specific stigma that can come with talking about having a hard time with mental health black person we've talked about the strong black woman trope a lot at self. That was a big part of our cover story with trudgy p. Henson the idea that black women are kind of supernatural strong and we can handle anything and we don't suffer and we never have a hard time there is a corresponding trope for black men. And even though i feel like people have done a lot to break down those barriers culturally. There still is just this pervasive idea. That having a mental health issue as a black person is first of all not something that happens. And second of all if you're dealing with it it means you're abnormal or your weak or something's wrong with you and you need to hide what you're going through and i feel really proud when i even look at the headline of the story. Forty four mental health resources for black people trying to survive in this country. Because i feel like it sends a couple of messages it first of all says if you are just simply trying to survive day to day as a black person that's completely valid and that's a worthwhile goal and then it also says there are all these mental health resources so you cannot be the only person going through this. There are not forty four mental health resources just for you. it's for everyone. it's because there are so many of us also dealing with us in her reporting zara focuses a lot on barriers to accessing mental health. Care the things that get in the way of people getting the help that they need and one of those barriers is the stigma as she says but there are other major stomach barriers to being able to access. mental health. services is such a tremendous privilege. I mean first of all you have the cost even if you have insurance absolutely adds up. I've seen a lot of people talk about having to see their therapist once a month instead of once a week because even their co pay is simply not affordable for them and dot is a travesty. At the cost of it is especially the fact that so many therapists don't accept insurance so that adds an additional barrier.
911 Call Takers In Austin Have A New Script, Which Includes A Triage Option For Mental Health Crises
"In America to triage for 911 Mental Health service calls. A memo released by the city of Austin on Friday notes that from now on 911 call takers have an innovative new script to say that is Austin 911. Do you need police, fire PMS or mental health services? If the collar says they need mental health services, they're connected to an on site. Mental health clinician. The Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute recommended the change after city honors reported in 2018 that Austin police had the highest per capita rate of police killings of people experiencing mental health crises in Austin. Eric like of
"What do I do now? How to get to work in the early days.
"Amber. Riley said that's the key to life making your own path. Set your own rules because there is not a set rule. There's not a set. Look there is not a set anything you make your own rules in your life. You make your own decisions. I remember the very first day. I woke up and went to work as an entrepreneur. The weeks leading up to that day were filled with anticipation and excitement. I felt like i was doing it. Finally i was starting my own business. And then i sat down at my computer and i paused. Where do i start. What was i supposed to do like literally. What tasks should i do right now. What action should i take. And suddenly i was hit with a surprising and unsettling feeling i felt adrift or un moored. I felt like i was floundering. A bit. I mean think about it up until that point i had worked in normal nine to five jobs and in these jobs i would come in each morning and i would work on the projects that had been given to me. I knew my company's goals because someone else set them. My direction was really clear. I largely just had to execute and now here i was living the dream and i had no idea how or where to start. You see many entrepreneurs leave the comfort of their nine to five jobs in search of freedom and no doubt. You'll find it here. You'll find more of it than you ever thought. Possible out here and that can become problematic especially in the early days because there are two sides to the freedom coin. One side is opportunity the ability to build an experience. Boundless growth the feeling you get when you realize the ceiling has been removed on the amount of money you can make. It's incredible but the opportunity side of the coin is balanced by the other side. The responsibility side the side. That says yes you are free. You are completely free and now you must chart your own course set your own direction. Put wind in your own sales. No one else is gonna do it for you. The responsibility side. It also says yeah. There's no ceiling on the amount of money you can make but i've also removed the floor as well so choose your next steps wisely so today i wanna talk about some tips for helping you put the wind in your sails to chart your own direction and your course and made some of the common pitfalls that entrepreneur's experience in this situation the opportunity that freedom brings is balanced by an equal if not greater sense of responsibility and one of your many jobs as an entrepreneur is to accept that responsibility. So let's dig in there now before we go on. I wanna point out one caveat for today's conversation. I'm assuming you've done the check. The box work of setting up your business. I'm assuming you formed an llc or some type of business entity. I'm assuming you've figured out a way to accept payment even if it's in the form of a paper check i'm assuming you have insurance and the barebones tools you need to execute your work and if you don't have those things start there but with that said if you've got all that and you're ready to take the next step. There are two buckets of action. I suggest new entrepreneurs take and they fall under the heading of working on your business and working in your business now if you haven't read it yet. A man by the name of michael gerber wrote an incredible book called the e myth revisited. Why most small businesses don't work and what to do about it. E myth means entrepreneur myth. And in that book he makes the distinction between working in your business which is doing the actual technical work that either creates your product or makes up your service etc. So like if you're starting a graphic design business. This means actually creating designs for people. If you're a plumber. This means actually performing plumbing jobs for people working in your business is what generates revenue for you now. In contrast working on your business is what creates the actual business structure around all of that work setting the vision and goals for the business creating systems and processes that run each aspect of it
That Good Night With Sunita Puri
"We're talking with dr sunita puri who works at the keck school of medicine at university of southern california as the daughter of a doctor sue. Nita grew up watching an admiring her mother's work so my mom's job was literally part of our household. I really think of medicine as the fifth person or concept living in our home in addition to my parents and my brother. And i and i really vividly remember. I must have been five years old. And i remember her leaving at probably four thirty five in the morning to drive from where we lived in evansville indiana to louisville where she was a resident in kentucky and i remember her in her blue blue font and her surgical scrubs and every day. I would hear her getting ready to go. It's like i was time to wake up at that time. And i would just start crying. I try to grab onto her legs so she wouldn't go. My dad would have to pull me off of her. I think my brother was an infant at the time so he doesn't remember this. But i always had this deep craving for my mother to be around more than she was and at the same time i remember being like probably six years old and going to the hospital with her and her holding my hand and us going into the post anesthesia. Care unit. she's an anesthesiologist. So after her patients came out of the operating room she would go check on them and so she took me with her. And i must not have been really even tall enough to see much over the hospital beds of these patients. But i remember my mom letting go of my hand and holding. Her patients hand that movement of her hand stands in my mind very clearly because she did put her hands on patients. She touched them with her hands and with her words and she would tell them. You did great in surgery house. You noncha- how's your pain. What can i do to help you feel better now that the hardest part is over and i just remember looking at her and the tenderness of her voice was the same with her patients as it was with me and i'll never forget the smell in the post anesthesia. Care unit of this kind of mix of clorox and some other very tough cleaning agents. I'll never forget the moans. I heard from patients who needed pain medicine. And i'll never forget how my mother would not just look down at them. She'd often pull up a chair so that they didn't have to crane their necks and she was i level with them and that to me really showed me not just how you can be a doctor but how you can be a human being connecting with another person. That was what soon nida envisioned for her life. That kind of connection. I was very conflicted about whether to go into medicine. I always have had the heart of a writer in a more creative person played piano classically for many years. I read voraciously. I wrote horrible teenage poetry. And i always had this more artistic bent me and in college. I really struggled with whether i want to go into medicine or whether i want to teach english in high school whether i just want to be a writer on my own terms and what ultimately led me to medicine was because i really wanted to be in the world as my mother was and knowing that that was her way of contributing to the betterment of the world it was always something that had this gravitational pull for me. I also really loved anatomy. Physiology biology and figuring out how those things interact with someone psyche so it was always there but i really decided not to go as a time writer because that pulled a little harder at me.
A psychologist explains the limits of human compassion
"Psychologist. Paul slavic says to understand psychic numbing. We have to look at how humans make decisions in analyze risk. it's not just this. Straightforward cost benefit analysis in what social scientists have have learned through observation and experiment is that We've got another way of analyzing risk and that's through our gut feelings which is a very sophisticated way that our brain can process risk information in fraction of a second week in size up a situation decide whether to run away or to approach it or whatever. You know that the problem is that our feelings are. They aren't good at quantitative assessment and our feelings are energized by a single individual at risk. What we call a singularity effect and individualize very important but the problem is that if there are two people at risk that does not feel twice as concerning as if there are one it may be a bit more concerned but not twice as much as the numbers increase. We've become even more and more insensitive. So if i tell you that they're eighty seven people endangered in some situation. You'll be concerned then. I said oh wait a minute. I made a mistake. There are eight people whom you won't feel any different. Feeling system is just not able to differentiate in a different feeling for eight eighty seven right and then as we studied this we found. It's even even worse than than this insensitivity as the numbers increase sometimes we begin to lose sensitivity. Not just that. We don't differentiate between one large number and another we care less. The numbers are so large. They're just you know they don't convey any feeling and we have a a phrase for what we've observed In this respect and that is the moore who died the less we care. Yeah so i mean it kind of sounds like you know what you're saying in situations like this pandemic that our feelings may actually kind of deceive us. In a way with with risk taking absolutely our feelings deceive us and they deceive us not only with regard to the pandemic. They deceive us with regard to the seriousness of genocide and mass atrocities. That have been taking place around the world continuously since the end of world war two and the holocaust when we vowed never again. Would we allow this to happen. And well it happens over and over again And we we often turn our backs to their. These are just statistics of faraway people. And we they don't convey the emotion that's necessary to motivate us to action so there's a lot of ways in which our feelings deceive us. Our feelings deceive us with regard to thinking about climate change. You know where we've got a major catastrophic changes in all sorts of climate affects. There's going to be hugely influential. And we're not doing what we should to mitigate or prevent this from happening right right. Okay paul so is there any way around this you know. What can we do as individuals t get beyond the psychic numbing. Well the the first step is awareness you know. And that's what i i. I see as the first implication of are working to try to get these findings known so people are sensitive and aware of these and then the second step is okay. Now what what can i do about it. And the There are a number of things i as individuals we need to slow down in our thinking. We're we're giving information like this. We need to pause not just go to a quick intuitive feeling about it but to think a little bit more carefully about what the reality is beneath the surface of these numbers. We need to pay attention to stories of individuals who are representative of the larger problem and people in the in the media needs to be giving us information about individuals and stories Not just the statistics are important. They should be there but we also need stories about individual lives that are impacted by what we're concerned about. Yeah yeah you know as a as a science communicator and a journalist this makes me think about some of the research that you've done around this right like how reporting statistics about mass casualties. Don't always move people to act. I'm thinking about your research on the infamous photograph of ellen. Kurdi the child who drowned fleeing syria. Tell me about that work. So the syrian war began in two thousand eleven. The government of serious started to attack people who are protesting for various reasons against the government and it got quite violent and by two thousand and fifteen Some two hundred and fifty thousand people have died in the syrian war. Many of them civilians and there was little interest in that and we could. We could assess the level of interest by looking for example under google searches for syria or refugees. And you see it was flat and near near zero for four years and then that changed overnight when the picture of the boy and the beach went viral around the world and you. Some people started searching for syria for refugees and so forth. We we found an even more important indicator of how this one photograph woke people up to something that they should have been alert to because of two hundred and fifty thousand deaths and millions of refugees that were spawned by the conflict there and we found that the donations for example to the red cross in sweden Were greatly Impacted by that picture and so one might ask. Why does it take a photograph to motivate us. Why isn't thousands of deaths enough and again illustration of the fact of the psychic numbing. You know that these are just numbers and we relate much more strongly to stories and images very powerful example of that. We also found that it didn't last forever. I mean over the next month the that donations started to decrease again and the searches. Google started to decrease. And what i think that showed. Is that when you have very important events like this happening. That a dramatic incident or event or photograph can wake us up and it gives us a window of opportunity that's That's very important and enduring that window. That's when things need to happen both at the individual level or also at the societal level were were officials now they have the opportunity to do something that makes a difference. We're we're seeing another moment like that in the aftermath of the The attack on the capital when suddenly were awake to right wing extremism which has been around for the. It's not that his new. And i think we've been sort of a complacent we've been very complacent about same thing with racial injustice and the black lives matter movement of of the summer in certain events were dramatic and they cut through the complacency that existed so all of these events gives us a window of opportunity when we were ready to act and s when things can happen share. You know like you said part of this is realizing when action needs to be taken an taking that action and one thing that you've talked about. Is that people have to get past this. Full sense of efficacy. Right that idea that when a problem is this big what you do. Does it really matter but you know actually does you know especially in this pandemic yes. We have to recognize the fact that even partial solutions to a problem can save whole lives as we even. If you can't do it all we should be demotivated from doing what we can do.
How To Get Unstuck
"I'm i'm really excited to talk about the topic. We're talking about today of just being stuck. I'm going to be referring to a book that never referred to it steven hayes book. Get out of your mind and into your life. It is an acceptance and commitment therapy book and this is one of those feel like it's just one of the fundamentals of the virtual couch where i can just rip a little bit on the concepts around acceptance and commitment therapy and i think it's going to speak to a lot of people because i insert twenty twenty joke here or hard situation here but we a lot of people are coming out of a time where they feel a little bit stuck and man. I'm doing a lot of research around a podcast that i want to release so bad. I interviewed my wonderful friend. Dr laura sparrow months and months ago because she had an amazing article about covert and conspiracy theories and i recorded it and then then it kind of world got weird and wonky and i never ran the episode. But i have it. I've been editing. It and she just makes so much sense around why we will find ourselves turning to things like conspiracy theories when we never had before and it really is around the sometimes feeling stuck the the brain likes patterns. The brain likes knowing. The brain doesn't like uncertainty. It doesn't like ambiguity. And his doctor sparrow pointed out and i will release this episode. But i want it to be so good that i find myself over researching this one in particular but in talking about the way that the brain works and liking these patterns and doesn't like uncertainty. Your brain will kind of turn toward what's called a cognitive bias. Which means you're going to try to find something that makes a little bit of sense to you. Something that's in your wheelhouse and then once you're within that cognitive bias then you then your brain really wants to be certain of itself so it does the old confirmation biased thing where it starts looking for any bit of data to back itself up. I did a episode on confirmation bias a long time ago. I think it was called. Why are there so many tesla's and it was once somebody. One of my clients had talked about wanting tesla all of a sudden. I just felt like everywhere i looked. There was a tesla nation by rank. And do the same thing with thoughts and ideas that sort of thing but once you think something all the sudden you see it everywhere. I've been i've worked in my abandonment and attachment Things into about three or four of my last few episodes. Because it's something that i just feel passionate about and now i find these abandoned an attachment things from childhood everywhere i look. I'll probably work that into the episode today but but acceptance and commitment therapy really is it's the fundamentals of therapy here on the virtual couch and i have seen a lot of people that feel stuck in so i have. I haven't talked about this book before. And i really like it so the chapter that. I'm going to start with his doctor. Hayes talks about the concept of human suffering as universal summit. Read fairmount today giving him all the credit. And then i will give my commentary as as i love to do on the virtual couch so dr. Hey says it often. Many people we meet in our daily life seemed to have it all. They seem happy. They look satisfied with their lives. You probably had that experience of walking down the street when you're having a particularly bad day and you look around and you thought why can't it just be happy like everybody else around me. They don't suffer from chronic panic or depression or substance abuse problem. They probably don't feel as if a dark cloud is always looming over their heads. They probably don't suffer the way i suffer. Why can't i be like them. And get to hear this all the time every day in therapy and i go through it myself as well and dr. Hey says here's the secret they do and you are meaning they do suffer the way you suffer and you are more like them than you think he talks about that. We all have paid all human beings if they live long enough felt or will feel the devastation of losing. Somebody they loved. Every single person has felt will feel physical pain. Everybody has felt sadness. Every felt shame or anxiety fear and loss and we all have these memories. That are embarrassing or humiliating or their shameful and we all carry these painful hidden secrets and we tend to put on the shiny happy faces pretending that everything is okay and that life is all good. As a matter of fact. And i'm not gonna pull the old man get off my lawn on the porch moment here although yes i kind of am and then we have social media which has some amazing things in social media but we also typically put out the. Everything's all good. This is how you do it. This is how easy it is. You just you're happy. Just be happy and and beautiful and well well lit nice filters and then it just looks amazing but people everybody else's kind of not everybody there's an all or nothing statement but many of us are saying they they look like they've got it all figured out it's pretty easy but but it isn't it isn't they can't always be easy or it can't always everything can't always be all good to be human. Is the feel pain in ways that are orders of magnitude more pervasive than what the other creatures on the planet earth feel Dr hey says if you if you kick a dog it'll yelping run away if you kick it regularly. Any sign of your rival eventually will produce fear and avoidance behavior in the dog by means of the process called conditioning. But so long as you are out of the pitcher and are not likely to arrive. Dog is unlikely to feel or show significant anxiety. People however are quite different. He said as young as sixteen months or even earlier human infants learned that if an object has a name the name refers to that object so relations that verbal humans learn in one direction. They derive in two directions so over the past twenty five years. Researchers have tried to demonstrate that same behavior another animal species with very limited in questionable success so far so this makes a huge difference in the lives of people That the lives of people live as compared to animals. He says that the capacity for language put human beings in a special position. Simply saying a word invokes the object that it's named and he says tried out umbrella. You know when you think about when you read that word callan's pretty harmless but consider what this means if the named object was fearful anything that reminded. The person of its name would invoke fear. It would be as if all the dog needed to feel. Fear is not an actual kick but the thought of being kicked. So you see where we're going here that that relationship with words we're one of the only animal on the planet that does that. So that's exactly the situation that you're in and this is exactly the situation that all humans in with language. So here's an example doctorate said take a moment now to think of the most shameful thing that you've ever done and he encourages really take a moment and actually do this. You can pause if you want to but so if you give that thought what did you just feel. He said it's very likely as soon as you read the sentence you felt some sense of either fear or resistance
The Inner Child From a Mind Map Perspective with Life Coach Crispin Gundry
"The inner child from a perspective of the mind man and see all how channels slump together to despite the world the inner child particularly the inner child who has not been treated very well and tonight. We have a wonderful life coach wales. And so i'm so happy we have zoom. You don't have to play on here to the united states and you know be on the show just beyond the shot gather just like that pushed over button. So welcome back. This could hear you also singing necessarily a ticket to fly out. I'll i'll i'll get you. Thanks okay and i just wanted to appreciate you. Publicly to crispin has been doing an awesome job and people are beginning to request you. Did you know that they not to work with you and really do why because you're really really passionate about helping people to recover from childhood wounds narcissistic abuse and as many of you know. We specialize in helping people to recover from childhood wounds and the more profound one which is more subtle difficult to tack and requires expertise of for treatment the recovery from narcissistic abuse which i define as assistant gone wrong. Where instead of the parents nurturing that trial and giving him or her all the needs the bay need they actually ended up that higher in the child and controlling manipulating and putting their own feelings. I in the other part of the is opposes. The apathy is nothing worse at a child who gets stabbed feeling that mom or dad or significant other does not give down so this is colin. Show everyone in. Please hit up the phone and call in yet on the couch with knee interest and we will might match tonight the inner world of a child so just for those of you who are not familiar with the mind map. I know many of you have watched many many episodes and thank you so much for being such a loyal audience. In what i really enjoy most is when you really get it and start using concepts that i teach. Should you start thinking like stray in connecting the dots because as lag bowl with everyone is to teach this mind map so that you're not living in this unconscious world of reactions and negative in coatings. Break you down into chaos defenses and then true breakdowns. So let's get the mind map up if you could please talk level past of childhood reactions in encoding. The middle is how when we are activated in our childhood wounds we rate down into chaos and tried desperately sometimes very creatively to defend and when those defenses breakdown than we break down and so most people as you know crispin living panels one two three four five six ended up how to do what i call synergy recoding and having a life. That is Imbalance in unity. So that's what we're going to talk about in how delicate a newborn child is have delicate child. The first few months in years of life Is in how delicate is human beings are because if we don't have that strong inner
Kansas measure would criminalize care for transgender youth
"Kansas legislation that would make it a felony for doctors to provide medical treatments. Helping transgender youth transition is unlikely to get a hearing the proposal from four conservative GOP members of the Kansas House of Representatives Drawn condemnation from LGBT Q lawmakers and advocates. It's among measures in more than a dozen state legislatures targeting transgender youth in sports or medical treatments for them. Republican House Health Committee chair. Brenda Land where of Wichita says the measure probably will not have a hearing because the panel has too much other work, such as proposals for modernizing the state's mental health system.
Eating Disorders Awareness Week
"Do you mind starting off by telling us a bit about your own experience of eating disorders Because i notice sort of on your own website and with your details on your twitter You've got a history yourself. You're right to chart a little bit about that. Yes absolutely. I think my journey with eating disorders started from the age of about eleven I actually suffered with binge eating disorder fast and through my teenage years. And then i guess went through. Tacoma sick forum was very overweight. Lost love wait. And kind of st- agus plunged into the grips of anorexia then leukemia and then made recovery today at the age of about twenty one twenty two and i didn't actually talk about it. Get any help from about nineteen. I spent a lot of time through my teenage years rudy suffering in silence and didn't feel like it's to anyone bassett and any recovery. I found it was one of the hardest things. I've done in my whole life because you have to eats guess when it comes to whether you can call them addictions or coping mechanisms such as drugs and alcohol oversea very difficult to be able to recover from his well when it comes to eat and you have to lend middle ground of. How much is enough when to eat. When you're actually hungry. And say i think when i got besser. I'm what's really hard three. my recovery. Just wanted to help. Other people a wanted sue ensure that people could have those conversations especially young people could reach out for support if they needed it. So my husband kind of characterizes. My career is making a career out of crisis. And the i. I kinda forged my way through my life by oviously in modern story. But i think that's drives everything i do is the really wanna give the people understanding in a petit health professionals and say Yeah that was my journey and and then trained as therapists as well say. I really wanted to go off. The clinical skills is not enough people. Who i can. Eating sodas say train is a therapist and now alongside people on a wednesday one working inside families but was as their clinical lead Must really help as well having that experience yourself. And i mean it's really difficult you've been through those three eating disorders but it muscle also really be helpful for people you supporting that. You've actually been south side of thought. Yeah i think it rebels element of trust. They really nine. The when i say something i really mean it. Oh i reframe it and say you know. I do know. Everyone's journey is the same recovery but quite low of wh- that game three i again. I understand and so i think when it comes to challenging. Maybe and nabil in that relationship therapeutic relationship. I think it makes it really strong. And you know. I would say that lived experience in the realm of eating disorders isn't used enough really. I think we're still going on. Wait to. Let's see what i want to sort of trigger. Anyone listening to this podcast. We have people with different sort of into health issues. But you're right to tennis elisabet about sort of what those three different eating disorders looked like. Not knowing great deal than like nelson triggered detail. But i suppose maybe parents or friends might want to know from the outside what to look out for. I suppose Yeah absolutely. But i think i'll start with binge eating disorder because i think that's probably one that's snow least about really and i think it's really important. Recognize that it's not a national everything. All of us have relationship with foods whether we consider that healthy oh nuts. It's not kind of just easing the extra chocolates or eaten about sucrets now and then. This is driven been detained disorder. That behavior is driven by a real underlying distress at an quite often and mental health issues. Say seventy five percent of people suffering with an what would how russian underlying eating disorder say this really difficult distress. The a person's feeling they would. Then i guess us. Food is a cape mechanism to deal with that distress to do with that really difficult noise in the heads with binge eating disorder in particular In it could be with a normal way overweight. And so i s. It's some impulsive. They would eat anything. It's not easing treat so things we can consider nice. You know. i've met people already frozen food in a short amount of time. And i guess they would describe the once they're eating. They feel this kinda sense of relief effort like i guess the tensions released that may what was building up to binge on. Then i guess that connick guilt and shame creeps in around what they've done and i guess when it comes to binge eating disorder you rethink that maybe i dunno there's perceptions out there that people agreed But actually the thoughts that preoccupation around food waiting shape is just as intense as any of the other meeting disorders and and so so often when people present binge eating disorder in and saying i'm thinking around food quite often signed paces losing race or anything. But that's actually the worst thing you can do to focus on losing weight is actually it would just kind of increase the binging episodes so i guess know it's not real binging episodes that happening maybe a couple of times a day quite typically in the evenings and might be hiding. It might be stealing. It feels on some levels like a batman addiction and not in that respect that kind of makes sense. Yeah definitely and i wanted to ask if well. Did you find that you should have had more support and maybe more sympathy for the bulimia. That you suffered in the nfc suffered rather than
#528 Masculinity - Ted Bunch
"Also the social media handles. You can follow us at Let's dive into some surveys. This is from the struggle in sense. Also want to mention one of the things that i to try to do in. The future is to publish some books around the surveys. And do that. I need the consent of the people who are filling them out. I believe a could be could be wrong. Could be just filling out your consenting for. I mean you're consigning for it to be read on the show might mean that you're consenting for it to be published as well but just to be on the safe side i want to start including if people do consent to have published in a book I wanna have a field where they can put some type of contact information and so because of that. I have Taken down the ability On the website for people to view other people surveys. And i hate to have to do that. It was a difficult decision to to do but for now. That's if you're trying to read surveys that's why you don't have access to them so blame my publishing aspirations on that. This is From the struggling to sentence survey filled out by little codeine remember. You guys remember his first album snooty so good broke a lot of new ground. snooze writes about his. Ptsd gang activity and police. Brutality have caused me to almost never feel safe a compulsively check all locks in the house before i can sleep about being a sex crime victim. I'm not sure if it counts. But when i was younger i dated a girl who is a sex addict and try to sleep with me even when i didn't want to And then a snapshot from his live. I have many memories of being told my problems. Were not relevant. Because i'm a straight white since gender male and i should appreciate my quote privilege. I grew up poor and have always struggled with. Depression have lost many friends to drugs. Alcohol and gang activity and only twenty years old but if lost over a dozen friends and the last two years i feel i have no privilege first of all. Thank you for your your your survey in sharon all of that stuff and my thoughts on the privilege. The white privilege thing is first of all. It's not a contest. You know who's pain or life hurdles matter more than others. It's not an either or have faced hurdles in your life and people of color have faced hurdles that you don't and there is a privilege in that specific area but that does not mean as a whole your life is privileged. It just means you have the privilege of not experiencing racism because the color of your skin is something other than white. I don't know if that makes sense. But i really think it would be helpful if people if there was a way of expressing that that didn't sound like it was minimizing the rest of people's lives outside of The skin color issue. Thank you for your survey. This is from the struggling. The sentence survey filled out by grief. Pancakes as my favorite. There is no morning morning breakfast. Like grief pancakes little touches. Sad syrup About her depression. This this might be the closest to the feeling of depression that i experienced. I feel like i'm locked outside on the patio and conc- ever went through the glass going on about their life as if it's all going to be fine so oh my god thank you for that. One of our sponsors for today. Is the online therapy provider. Better help dot com. I just finished session with my therapist. Donna and she's helped me go through some stuff. He's you guys who are regular listeners. Know a lot of times. I compartmentalize feelings that i don't wanna feel and deny that i'm feeling them and it's only until somebody goes. Hey no really are you. Okay that i stop enough to go. I guess i'm kinda sad and then at cry And so she is suggesting many things but one of the things that that she suggested. As i said a little side a time During the day to just kind of check in see how i feel and And and that way it keeps the feelings from being this vague thing that i never really address instead. It's it's addressed. And then i can. I can move on with my day instead of just being this painting thing that keeps kind of bugging me and then i push away and it just stays vague anyway. If you guys want to try online therapy go to better help dot com slash metal. Make sure you include the slash metal parts. So they know you came from this podcast. Then you can fill out a questionnaire get matched with a counselor. If they have one they feel is a good fit for you and you can experience a free week of counseling to see if it has your thing and they're licensed in all fifty states and they finally. This is a struggle on the sentence survey felt out by chesa handed her. Add rights It's like trying to find a one voice in a crowd full of screaming people barter anxiety anxiety. Feels like i'm made of palatis. I feel like people can see through me when i want to be hidden. And if i stumble in the slightest. I'm afraid i'll shatter about her anorexia. Look at myself without hearing my father's voice telling me that no one will love me if i'm fat. Wow about sex addiction. The only reason. I wanna have sex to feel self worth. It feels like a job. I have to do to be loved. Butter skin picking i really need to wear oven mitts. That is so awful. Som can you imagine if that was this. The the solution to it everywhere you go. You have to bring hot dish to skies why you have oven mitts on. Hey guys chesa coming over. Should we order something to eat now. She's going to be bringing food you know. She always does about being a crime victim. I feel like. I deserve to be raped. Because i put myself in bad situations just for a scrap of attention span. Sadly so many people beat themselves up in that way as well and it's one of the most common ways that that survivors are mean to themselves. And it's it's a way of trying to make sense of what happened in t tell ourselves that the world isn't random and dangerous but it's it's so it's so detrimental to our long term Process of healing because until we can really feel for ourselves and cry and process that stuff. those wounds. Just stay on healed about living with an abuser. My father told me that my bipolar was from the devil. And it wasn't real. He told me. I was being punished. Because i was bad. Your dad's sounds like a terrific guy. And i would love to get to know him if you could connect us. That would be fantastic. We could he. And i could maybe go somewhere and just talk about the devil. Criticize my gut and a snapshot from her life Implying away your. I hope it doesn't sound. Like i'm just being lib. Even though the last three minutes have been nothing but solid glibness I i that is fucking horrible that that was the dad that you were dealt. He's just sounds so fucking sick And a snapshot from chess life during my darkest depression. I used to run through red lights when driving my car. Because i felt so numb but was too afraid to take my own life. I couldn't function without getting high. I felt like no one understood. I was unmedicated for my bipolar. Hd ptsd and borderline personality disorder at the same time because i wanted to function without medications. Everyone told me. I didn't need medications until they saw me off at them and just wanted to get fuck away from my life. I couldn't afford any lewer grief guilt. Shame born there's a that gets flipped in my head. I'm supposed to be experience being treated him.
Family #3: Joan & Todd
"We've called this podcast. Nurture versus nurture because there are many different ways to raise dirty exuberant educated kids. Today you'll have the pleasure of meeting a family with a acre working farm joan and todd and their fierce eleven year old daughter. Sasha and gentle eight year old son gusts. These children live the principle of educators. Call experiential learning. Sasha can tell when an alpine dairy goat is in heat turns out they flagged their tails she knows the lineage of every animal on the farm and how to talk to them using subtle shifts in tone this sister and brother used their environment and imagination to practice life skills if one goat picks on another they are taken to court in the manger where the children present arguments on behalf of their clients and use a hammer as a gavel to wrap up the proceedings yet joan worries or the children getting civilized for the real world. Are they too much like wild creatures. Themselves they leave a peanut butter knife in the middle of the couch. Shoes were someone might easily trip and frequently forget to flush the toilet even if pooped in this episode. You'll hear what the eleventh century philosopher moses my monitors has to say about effective strategies for getting kids to follow rules it's bribery and it's different for young children and teenagers and you'll find out why i believe a long hair to wawa belongs on a farm. Even when mom says we already have so many animals. I couldn't even tell you. The number two days untranslatable word is finish more on kushima p. o. r. o. n. k. u. s. e. m. a. It's the distance. A reindeer can comfortably travel before needing to take a break to urinate boron means reindeer and kushima means pete by. I'll also introduce you to a bantu term used in sub saharan africa. About joyful self-expression. i a disclaimer.
Staying Fit During Covid
"So i welcome mentally yours. Thanks so much for joining us. Thank you so. Are you a right to tell us a bit about. Just how your own mental health has sort of been doing over the pandemic and knock down just to start with this other k. Absolutely so much like many many many people out there. I struggling with feelings of loneliness. There's been times where. I've found quite depressed. And i use. That would likely because i have a history. Cvs depression and this last year is almost a year. isn't it. since we we miss santo hist- started to from home on the twelfth of march. So it's it's not far off a year. Last year is being peaks and troughs you know he was at the beginning of locks down there was a bit of a blitz threats that we will have that lovely sunshine so i think secretly all quantum join the simplicity that was brought into our lives but as it as it went on the challenges became an older more challenging me. Let's say and. I think the monotony of life got to me so i have two children by husband's app to actors works in london with donated london. But he's a senior in the media throughout ti- has has moved apart from both at code very beginnings Type so i've been told for a large extent with my two children age. Eight and five tried to home school them by south the beginning past to joel which is a very big job when the entire his health brand and And it's been tough is has and a lot of the at the armory. The i rely on to protect my mental health such as eating. Well reducing suga Whole consistent exercise over the window. You know auto beacon off ridge Them on the jim cost rely on they. They disappeared for lots of time. So i was left to my own devices to try and managed mental health. And as i say was done with varying degrees success if you had covert eliane yes yes i did so. I was one of the originals. I was yet my has been denied. Both habits Early march tied. I had the the checklist of symptoms. So i was never confirmed by the way this is the time. Would you know tested a variety up. My husband has had the antibody tests because he to have to go back to work on. It was confirmed that he had had so. We had very similar symptoms so went on for about two months in the beginning. It didn't really a wasn't presented with typical symptoms. You just had a type symptoms. You know the g headache then after about a week. Itunes into a tightness in the chest cough and then there was a period of two or three days way. I really didn't feel quite said well i. I was struggling to take a deep breath. Not severi disconcerted feeling. It was compensation my husband watch. Are we going to do if this gets worse with boras in hospital so i can see this very public figure seen in the store not panic you because you know. He's not that much older than the Then i started coming out the other side of it but the the residual symptoms and hang around for some time so the headaches took a long time to to disappear the dizziness that feed in all the move too fast. The the will of black in the beginning ahead Lasted some time in the head. Fog the nakadate which words off another thing clearly. I'm beth all this. I only took two days of work because will confirm home. You kind of you can still debating out of work but While ridiculously we we Women's health to up a big mitchell. Event in in eight broncos women's health live bridge while i was hosted interviews with really hot mess celebrities and fitness influences on i had covert at the time now i was how i managed to get through it but i did so i i would like to say i got off likely because i have friends who now have long lady struggling these women who are similarly to merely Fit on this one. A friend of mine said might my son's friends mom actually and she still has to go back to bed every single day. No energy she constant tinnitus. She has they think the noodle logical damage because he body just suddenly gets very hot in them very cold and tingling in her legs and she had at the same time as me. So i certainly don't want to get the violence. Because i also finding likely but it's interesting for us to have someone who's you know doesn't definitely had his in there as well to him. That an interesting. You mentioned ahead folk Did it affect your mental health in any other ways. I mean i'm sure it must be very sort of anxious time but Can you tell us about please. I think the the uncertainty of how long it was going to go on around only a very fitting active person. I pride myself on. I live the women's health. A methodology of. I've always been very engaged in wellness on when that is taken away from you as i as said Exercise to management mental health to get dolphins russian. So what started to get me. Da was the fact that i couldn't exercise to jump about them. I couldn't even do p with joe with my kids and stuff so that did start to get me dow whether it's weather if i would describe this depression probably not it. Just got down as it would get anyone down. I think actually the depressive episodes in happen police elite when this is dragged How important is it fee. 'cause i know you say kind of you really identified with women's health brand and like it's been so important to be excising all that. How much of a big part Badly wearing this. How part does that play in the treatment of your own kind of mental health. I know you said that you've had experience of depression. Anxiety previous. They d use fitness to help. Yes i always have either Like fanatic of a better phrasing used to do this I had a very serious about depression. In my my mid twenties. I ended up in hospital. Oh seven weeks. Seniors depression and anxiety on again again for four weeks and it was a time when i really started to acknowledge the positive effects. Exercising good nutrition can. Have you'll mental health so this no predates by road is editor in chief health but i have exercise my mental health above my physical health. Is i do
Checking In w/ Kelly Rowland
"So excited. Someone dear and close to me is checking in. She really needs no introduction but she is a grammy award. winning artists. Beautiful actress keeps inspiring us and keeps bringing us amazing movies during the christmas holidays. She has an amazing ep outright. Now okay i'll let me stop acting like this ain't my sister kelly. Rolan is checking in mike. Be listen. I could go and give like your full twenty-six-year resume. Speaking of twenty six denied. Just read somewhere. It's been twenty three years when we release survivor. Rate is has been twenty three not thought it was wasn't no no no the writing on the wall twenty three years nineteen ninety nine. I just saw something. That's hit twenty three years when he three years in vin. It's been how long for somebody just brought up survivor to me too. yes survivor. I think is twenty one or twenty. Listen but we still flat you so fly still is still all good. All i know is that i have you here to talk about a number of things but you just put out. Some new music call k. And why did you decide to just go by k. You know what. I really wanted to put the record out and we were all thinking about what. What am i gonna title the record i said at this point. I just want to put it out. You know yeah i said. Let's put a k. On it and call it a day today. Yeah yes but you know. I thought it was so cool. Because i don't know if people know what an ep k. Is right. It's kind of like this this visual sizzle of work. Or when you're about to put out a an album or a book or something you kinda sit down and you're telling people what about is your ep k- kind of your life story in this amount of song natural lifestore but just your season of life. This particular season of life are say. Is this season of life. You know one. I mean it took six years to record this this record which i was. I feel like i've talked your ear off about you. Know what. I mean before before this and it took a long time for me. It really meant a lot to meet a fine. Yeah because of what we would olive of tempo songs. We see. i really wanted to have a moment where the music felt alive. You know with the horns and the drums and you know this feeling of a little bit. Acura beats thrown lip sound of crazy in disco in what that felt like. It feels like so. I just got me really excited. When i started to hear them. I'm sorry noah just bills like ban all up in our interview. It's all right now. I wanted to contribute. You know so. I just really wanted tempa this record and when it came to the the slower song that you know a little bit more of a the down impo better just like a vibe. You know i was all going off a bye. Better is my favorite song on the album on the on. The ep is my favorite is my favorite for me. Everything is beautiful the visuals that you put out have been absolutely in credible we saw flowers and you kind of did you get a little choked up on the end i did. Yeah and what does flowers mean for you. I mean flowers out. Just tell you the first time. I heard powers and it was really moving for me because you know the between me and my mom knows many think of all the things that i wanted to tell her. We've had these conversations. I about something that she probably like really needed to hear and I just told her you know hopefully in in my space but it felt really good to get out at like flowers for me was cathartic. Yeah i mean it was. It's absolutely beautiful. You sound amazing the video. I know y'all have seen the video for flowers already. Gave us just a sneak peek of of or some insight on the direction of the video for flowers. The video of lowers. When i recorded the song. If felt like there was other some it was. It was another feeling in the rome with myself and the engineer while the song away performed in the video in the way you see those other bodies in there ave come from underneath the sheets and then you feel that. That's what i really felt in the room while i was recording it. So is that feeling and then having this moment of light transcendence where you actually let all those things for me all the one at this age. I just let them go. You have the color on like all. The color means a lot to me. Because i just feel like colors always significant. But i have not seen anything you know in in drab Which is what else it will be easy to go to black. But i still wanted there to be some color. All that red was powerful. Is definitely definitely powerful. Now why years. And i'm this is a twofold. Why six years. I'll let you answer that before. It asked the next question. I think some of it i may. I can be honest with you. I think some of it was fear. I think some of the was you know going. It's a new a new. The industry's changed a lot since twenty. Twenty five since two thousand where we were released a music in the way it's the way it's marketed. Everything is just so different am for me. I was definitely feeling like. I've been here a long time. I just trying to bake of like a what do what is everybody listening to. I was about to conform. And then i was like i'm not trying to conform. You know set the trends. You're trendsetter what thank you don. Ever forget not bill. Like especially coming from dc once again. I couldn't conform. And i had to think of something else that made me feel alive. Inputting honestly say. I really didn't care what anyone else thought or anything you said. One of the reasons was fear. How did you get over. The fear of putting out music and people will be surprised on this. Podcast is caught checking in and you had to check in with yourself to even be able to even say it was fear if you to even admit that on this platform that it was fear. I'm sure listeners. Wanna know so. Kelly rowland had fear. Well how did she get over the fear. Yeah remind
Every action you take in your life either increases your power or decreases it
"And i'm here to help you. Increase your emotional intelligence so that you can avoid dysfunction handle toxic situations with grace and ease and show up as your authentic self. Everything i talk about on. The show is my personal. Opinion is meant for informational. Educational purposes only always consult a medical or psychological professional before making any changes that could affect your physical or mental. Help me out repeat one. I said some of this Intro here it's helping you in your emotional intelligence. I say that so they. You can be emotionally prepared and mentally prepared for anything. That comes your way to believe that life presents us challenges that we're not always ready for but we do our best to be ready for so when a challenge comes along you may not be ready for it in fact. I think that's why it's called a challenge when the challenge comes along. You're probably not going to be ready for it. So it helps to prepare for. And that's why create this show and there are some challenges that you will be ready for andy. You won't necessarily use the tools that you have. That happens when you believe you know what to do but you choose not to do it whether to keep the peace or just to avoid the conflict for whatever reason you choose not to do it. Maybe it's going to cause more problems down the road and you just choose to avoid it. I still love the idea of making the decision to do. What is most empowering to you. I love the idea of doing. What's empowering to you. In fact most if not all of my decisions in life especially when it comes to any type of challenging person that comes along or challenging situation is to ask myself. What is the most empowering decision or thing to say in this moment. And that's how i get through almost any moment in. It's not easy in fact. It's probably some of the most difficult decisions. I've made in my life. Because i really want to keep certain relationships in my life but sometimes i can't sometimes you won't be able to keep certain relationships in your life when you do. The empowering thing because empowerment doesn't always fit and other people's model of the world or model of reality or at least your and parliament doesn't fit in their world and because of that your going to make decisions that are right for you and your decisions are are also right for those. You love those who love you because those who love you will support you wanting to be happy and making decisions that are right for you. But if it doesn't fit in their model of the world and their model of the world is to control you or make you do things that you don't accept or don't like then you're probably going to make decisions that they don't like and we know what certain people when you make decisions that other people don't like they're not going to take it nicely they're not going to be very receptive to your decisions. So this is why we have to be mentally and emotionally prepared for when people don't like or accept our decisions our behavior because when we know that we're doing things for our greater good and for the greater good at large in our family. Our job everything that you do should be an empowering decision and i look at it as an increase in your power or a decrease in your power. A good example is when i had to face my step father for the first time. And defy him defy strong word but it was the first time i resisted submitting to who i believe he was and that means that i believed he was a powerful person in my life and in reality he was very weak person and a very abusive person but not necessarily somebody that i should be afraid of especially as an adult being taller and younger and more fit than him and he was an abusive alcoholic and my family and bat trauma in my upbringing. I took with me and kept the fear about his behavior. Because when i was young i didn't have the capacity protect myself. If it ever got bad. What happens when you take trauma into your adult world. As an older person can now defend themselves. You remember that old trauma and it becomes. Ptsd today post traumatic stress disorder in other words. the trauma. That happened before is still with you. So when the person that was the major cause of that trauma still exists in your life than their existence in your life. Recreates the trauma in you and you never let it go. It's like the trauma never ended. Even if the hurtful behavior ended they can still be a trigger for that hurtful behavior and other people can be a trigger for the trauma that you might still be carrying with you. And i'm kind of going off on a tangent here. But i wanted to bring this up because when you carry around these emotional triggers and these old traumas that may or may not exist anymore. Then what you're doing is you're often responding or reacting from a place of disempowerment. You're responding from a place of dysfunction because it's hardly functional to make decisions from a place of fear or dysfunction and i test this time i test making decisions from fear versus making decisions based on what i believe i should do and that is scary like i said before. It is a very scary to make decisions. That are right for you. That empower you so wrapping up. When i'm talking about in this first segment. It is important to remember that every time you say something that you do something every time you decide something every action you take in your life either increases your power or decreases or has no effect at all. I mean. I just can't put it in those categories. It may not have an effect at all. It's not just a binary this or that decision but a lot of the decisions you make are either empowering were disempowering and it's very good to see it that way so that you're always making the decisions that are right for you so if you remember a time where things didn't work out so great and you think to yourself well. I could have made a different decision than but i didn't a. Why didn't you make a different decision and be if you had no fear of the consequences. What decision would you have made. And this leads me to my final point of this segment because the decision that you would have made if you had no fear of consequences is almost always the empowering decision it is almost always the plus one instead of the minus one like scorekeeping every time you give yourself a plus one for empowerment you
Mental Health Coping Strategies For Young Adults During The Pandemic
"And we couldn't do it without you. Thank you so much for listening in welcome back longer. Hey shan we're gonna roll right into our show today and both the nanga and i are grateful to our daughters for participating in this episode. We wanted to talk a little bit more about the pandemic in how it is affecting young people young adults. It's something we hadn't covered yet as we know. The pandemic has been a shadow and all of our lives or almost a year and while we've talked about coping strategies during this time. We really haven't addressed our young adults. And how they're doing in the world during lockdown and navigating a very different world in school and at work to stay healthy so today. We're sharing what we've learned from our daughters about their experience along with their suggestions about how young people can care for themselves. So what we're gonna do is kind of rotate back and forth between the questions that we asked our daughters and their answers. So i'll begin with the first question that i asked my daughter and that was what is it like to be away from home at art school for the first time during a pandemic and she said it's not like anything i expected. Sure when you leave home. You're nervous and understandably lonely sometimes but cova amplified those emotions tenfold. And i have online classes and i'm stuck in a very small apartment or most of the time and as an introvert. It wasn't at bad at first but lately the isolation has gotten horribly doll. And i feel very lucky that i can go home sometimes Yeah i think lavas Can really resonate with that. Introverted nature the first things is okay. I suddenly felt that profile. Know not so bad. You know we get to stay home and will come away throughout book bilo whatever we want to do but then yeah when it goes on for a long time and it's very similar to my daughter's response. I asked her what challenges you faced with working from home. During this pandemic she shed that she's experienced intense anxiety in recent months she said in the uk. We're third and longest lockdown which has gone route the winter. The first lock down here was in the spring so this is much more challenging with feels like endless grey outside and she said not being able to visit the places where she finds solace and inspiration has been really challenging also not been able to see friends and family and that she struggled with a lack of variety been in the same place in the same things every he feels tiring to her minds. Those same as your daughter's response that things just starting to fill up dow and she said the isolation's continued now for so long that she's had to look really deeply and confront her anxiety underlying emotions and she's looked at the effects of past trauma some previously. She didn't feel they've been so much space or time to respond to so she's chosen to address those deeper areas of emotional disturbance. What was coming up in my mind when he shared. That was the the blessing and the curse of doing that work. Because yeah it's big work to do is big wok. Yeah she's a young woman and boy our daughters are just something else are they really are. It's very interesting to have these conversations with women to yeah to see you know what they can on because the thing is when you sell from intense anxiety is that monstrous elephant in the room that you don't want to face. Yeah so we got to meet with friends and family and we do things. And we got to arc's gardens and do whatever fills us up an. It's good it's good to do those things. But that monster's still in the room. So i think during lockdown many people have been stuck in with the very thing they're toronto avoi- on it's heavy. I next asked daughter. What challenges are you faced with having all online classes while she's away at art school because as we know we go off to school to not only have are classes and courses but to meet people to spread our wings and and step into our adulthood and she said that first off. It's not what i went to school for. It's nice to not have to go anywhere. Sometimes but i feel like my learning is greatly impacted or stunted because i'm not meeting other students or getting to know my professors in person and that she has to rely on her professors to have good communication which not all of them do and strong lectures and information. That would be more potent in a class setting and she understands that that they're in the learning curve to having to take everything online and and so she's been very understanding about that but also a little bit frustrated because the tuition hasn't changed. You know there's there hasn't been any special break for every having everything online. And so while she's in these classes where professors are learning how to be online That is a little bit strange to her. She says that she suddenly has to be a lot more on top of things and she thought she would be. And i think what she meant by that is the zoom stuff the class times the tech glitches the follow up Making sure that everything's buttoned up in that. It's hard to manage herself when it comes to the days when she just doesn't wanna be there. I think this belonged and his release showing us the our connection. Isn't that face to face connection. There's just nothing like that direct transmission information when you can see somebody and his somebody a mixed with your biz forum inspiration. Sure i think that's definitely hugely challenging thing. I think my daughter would say much the same. She very much likes to go to a tiny gardens with a sketch or or just that for woken up of t to be around other people. That's something we can't do here a tour and haven't been able to for many months and is a loss of liberty when resenting but sometimes they're days where you just feel that you need to walk me a friend when it's not possible you realize how much those formerly normal things may. The next question. I asked was about my daughter's mental health in the past. She's struggled with panic. Attacks and i levels of anxiety and while she has learned some wonderful coping techniques both on her own and through the work that we do she really has to be mindful. And when asked this questions she said it varies and it's not been easy but when she's feeling depressed or getting stressed out. She tries to cut herself some slack and that she feels lucky to have teachers that care and understand mental health and that if the sport the case she thinks it be a lot harder to take care of herself at this time but she says you know it's a pandemic the country isn't functioning way that it normally would and i think cutting myself slack and not getting upset for not working as much as i normally would is very healthy and that it's okay to give herself the days where she just takes care of her basic needs
The trickle-down of family disconnect
"So the most of our south differentiation versus reactivity and the triangle. That triangulation is not very common problem in dysfunctional families. Lack of communication and And silica the says a mind. Ma unwind often Salting waves panels wants to three. The mind map is space phone The ways of challenged the biplanes challenge of physical trophies verbal abuse neglect mothering. These ultimately Start with penalty Encouraging percents in the past life and how they affect them this often results in regulation on Carl three which is encouraging of negative coral makes these evasiveness gamers Subconscious the tell people messages searches on not now lovable wife. Let's i can never wayne Only value on looking off to someone else about went on the Looking up to the parents needs narcissistic family. Systems focused mostly on meeting the products needs rather than the parents being that unavailable children pops being process one starts panels full the sex trafficking just have enough snow to chaos fancies and the breakdown of also past on how it might be unstable relationships unhealthy relationship passan's insecure attachments muscles as a
332 - This Is Your Brain On Gratitude
"Before i start today show. Here's a word from our sponsor. Are you looking to improve your health. But don't know where to start. Nearish by nature made offers a five minute quiz to remove the guesswork from your vitamin regimen backed by forty five years of science nature. Made is the number one. Pharmacist recommended vitamin supplement brand. So you can trust them to help you find supplements that are right for you. Visit nourish dot com to create your personalized vitamin package. Today that's an you are i. S h dot com. You probably heard that gratitude even in small doses can do wonders for your mental health and