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Changing Your Look After Coming Out
"Had heard from a listener. Who had come out in her thirties and was kind of wondering how she should change her style. Yes and also kind of dealing with friends feedback in changing of her style and we received such an amazing advice and thoughts from other listeners. That we wanted to share. We really did so. Here's our first email that were sharing today. I just finished mini episode one seventy eight and as a queer teenager. I felt that. I could provide some input here for the listener about their gay style. This year as come out as pan sexual unexplored my own style more. This is something i think about a lot. Recently i've changed so much of my wardrobe and found new things that make me comfortable in my look and my sexuality. What i've learned is that there are so many ways to be gay. You can really take any style and tweak it to express your identity and it doesn't have to be blatant for example. I've always had a darker edgier look and i've started wearing flannels with my goth. Clothes and makeup beans are also a nice touch that make everything a little bit gayer but not to gay also little rainbows are such an amazing and cute way to show your pride if none of these stereotypically gay items of clothing fit your taste. I have many friends who just like to dress and the colors that they feel express them instead of focusing on the items of clothing themselves. There's really no correct way to be queer and you can really and you really can make any item of clothing as as you want. True allies will support you no matter what you wear and no one should ever be pressured to dress in a way that they are uncomfortable with. Hopefully some of these suggestions help. Ps as a gen z. Are i must admit that. Cates use of the word ziesel her makes me cringe but of course i always appreciate the words. You guys make up as for trends. I think there's so much more acceptance of individuality in today's teens at the ones i know so whatever is considered popular online is really only. What a specific specific group of people are wearing regular life though. The controversy is always interesting and often hilarious to see Thank you teen listener. I loved us soak we. This was so such a great email to receive. I'm so honored. That teens are listening to this podcast. Oh the teens are so great. I think the teens are really great. Which terrifies me. Because i've always thought the teens were bad. Especially when i was a teen but i kinda think. Today's teens are awesome. Yeah i know it's really interesting. Yeah all right. You want to share this email diary. I would love to hike kantor. I wanted to write in response to the listener searching for her style. Post coming out coming out in my late twenty s i was so torn between looking to gay or two straight wanting to feel like my full self but also not wanting to seem like the stereotype who comes out and changes everything. It was helpful for me to consider. What stereotypically feminine elements of my style. Had i embraced. Because i truly like them. For example always having my nails done and other things had. I rejected. Because i was worried. Someone could suspect. I wasn't straight noticing what i had an impulse to like but held back from was usually an alert to that internalized homophobia rearing. Its head and usually was silly. I not buying fund metallic birkenstocks or not wanting to follow brandi carlile on instagram. I'm sorry to laugh. I'm laughing. Because i love brandi carlile and i. I love italian stocks. I did not realize that. Brandi carlile was Something that would lead someone to suspect that you weren't straight okay. So just like how. I tell the diet culture voice to get lost. So do i. Now try to tell the hetero normative voice in my head to shut up. Let me live when i find myself holding back from buying doing wearing listening liking something a helpful. A help fought narrative. Reframe for me. Was that many queer people have common interests were style just like many californians or new englanders or chefs have common interests or style. And none of those people aren't buying or wearing or doing something because it's to california or new england or sheffi so like what you like and if it gives people a clue that you're not straight so what it's not a secret and now you have a life more filled with things that feel good and bring you joy to boot as for the listeners. Friends my favorite way to kill those comments is a deadpan. That's weird or rude thing to say not creative that universally applicable
Miss Major Griffin-Gracy on Being a Trans Sex Worker in the 60s
"Back in the sixties before stonewall occurred. Were you involved in activism. Then i was involved with it when my friend. I puppy she was murdered in her apartment. By some man we knew at the time in the community that someone who knew her had merges her and the police did not care. Didn't matter to them at all and that was hurtful to us and so that started my activism. Then i wanted to know what cars people would gave in but the person to look like they got in with when they left and when they came back was important and one of the started keeping notes up when it was to keep up with the john. Because we didn't know what would happen to us then and so back in order to keep yourself safe while you are doing sex work where you will learning by trial and error or did somebody help you teach or mentor. You in that way. It was both you learn. Things did not some until you. You know you've gone by charleston air and you paid attention to web girls how you because you know it all. Nobody does and you've actually said that you loved it doing it. He loved being a sex worker. Would you like about it. Good number of guys especially in hell. I went into this because it was fun. Other girls wind toured for survival to make it. You know and. I would lucky that i've always work. I got a job in social services. Burs and x-ray commit john so with the apartment building that you're living in six floors of trans women if you can like estimate what percentage of them were also doing sex work. Although this could go one is to might not have been doing that but all of us were we active and you know somebody else than the five took de certain activity there and i guess what i'm getting at is like back then. There were very few options for employment. There were none. Billy you had to give job in your mail asala and hopefully work at that. That was too we. Hand the entire buildings epa. Maybe two people with hats lose that it was hard. But i guess being around people who like you did made. It seem comfortable. Amanda worthwhile
Finding Authentic Happiness With Aidan Park
"Always curious as to what people say about themselves because i don't know like sometimes people list credits talk about career stuff. Sometimes people talk about personal ways that they identify. You know there's a lot of. It's a lot of wonderful options here. You sure pronouns. People people can do. Many iterations of things have happened. My government asked to do this. But i will okay so i wrote a book called the art of being gay about finding authentic joy. Yahoo i am. He have pronoun. And i'm i'm a comedian and erin and the bad aspects you have a great laugh and important. You thank you as a comedian. I feel like that's something that i don't find myself to be a big laugher because i think over time trained that out of myself to be to seem like a tough guy in the comedy world. This is not a way to be. I'm not. I'm not pitching this to anybody. Don't be like this. But it's a delight to hear your of very genuine and explosive laugh. How how the joke about that. I mean literally the beginning in the beginning of my career. They were like okay. I'm a weirdo. i'm. I'm a bit of a quirky person okay. So in the beginning. I thought by jokes hilarious so i go up the joke even if the win thought it was funny at laugh. Even people sometimes completed the sentence. I be like oh. Yeah and then. I'm like wait a minute. I didn't say the jokes you chat lap would be those moments and so people were like man. You shouldn't laugh at your jokes. i don't care. I think i'm hilarious. I really like it. Won't one of me you know that. Sounds like freedom what you're describing. it's freedom. I feel. I feel i have that i do feel free And any also to be somebody who works in the comedy space and then write a book about finding authentic happiness. I gotta say for me. I'm on that journey myself. I'm trying to think we may have a common destination that we hope for that. I think is also kind of unusual. I think that having an interest in genuine happiness is i think people that maybe work outside of comedy. That would seem like it makes sense. But that's not been my experience. I get the audience is having fun. But i don't usually find that comics or people who are prioritizing
The Queer Community And Body Image
"You've been getting in touch about your own experiences with body image of the back of our episode where we discussed the question was does the quake community have a problem with body image. And i think this is what i love. This would meeting gang on the politics me. Keep it down to quota trying to quote one of the guardians. Top ten pocus twenty twenty one year. Things have come to light you see. What's great is we sort of do the discussion episodes and then people start writing with other new views. Things that came up one of our listeners wrote in talking about we didn't have enough. The queer female perspective will say we didn't cover enough of the trans perspective on the body image stuff which contains so many specifics. And then we've had two more messages about certain angles on it that we may have overlooked first discussion which is so great. So i got something from dan dear christa. I've been listening to her savings over the past six months or so and love it. It's a great thing to all these viewpoints from across the lgbtq plus spectrum and feel that connection especially while we're unable to make real life ones during lockdown. I must however take issue with the point raised in last week's podcast about body image. We do have a problem in the community of body image and the way in which we raise up. The stereotypical white system muscular young man as the pinnacle of desirability. Well they go. I sort of just fine and thing. But i have noticed a growing aggression from some progressives within the community towards guys who do enjoy presenting stereotypically. Masculine i understand. It's very important to make sure all body types and the ways in which people like to present are important and should be equally visible engaged media across the board. however. I didn't think it's helpful to attack. Those do enjoy stereotypical appearances of masculinity. I have a friend who is very popular and well known online and presents as old school masculine. I'm recently had a tirade of messages from someone. Berating him for toxic masculinity. The friend in question is a lovely individual actually identifies pan sexual loves guys who present as feminine and was hurt by this unwarranted attack based on his appearance. Say my point is that will vote is important that we push for more diversity in image and representation within the lgbtq plus community. It shouldn't be on the basis of attacking those who happen to enjoy presenting as masculine in a more traditional way. Keep up the good work done from london thanks. Dan much appreciated. And we haven't covered that angle. It's really interesting and it leads me to think of perhaps a even bigger question big truck driving post is that i suppose. The persecution queer people have ever received is about sitting outside of the norm and argument. Is it's all spectrum. Let us be who we are. That's gender sexuality gender identity everything and what you're talking about. Dan is that within spectrum masculinity and femininity should be able to be apportioned to everybody. I wonder if this is about that. If we're going to allow people who are expected to be masculine to be feminine and we want people to understand that will say need to make people who just masculine and that doesn't make you. Not queer is about opening up. Everyone can be anything they want. Is the kind of the end goal here and the persecution of each other is something we have to be mindful of an ice certainly. Do you know because that can be true. Attached to suffering at the hands of people who are hyper masculine who have pointed out your lack of masculinity i needed. I had that like people you know. When i was a kid chris menial such go and they were always kind of the masculine people doing that. So you can then sort of demonized as people but actually there are going to be people who all they feel. Comfortable in. Their skin is being masculine. And that's what they wanna do and that is as valid as anything else. It's important to remember that
Brian Michael Smith On Making Trans TV History on 9-1-1: Lone Star
"So not only. is it historic. Have this black trans masculine character on such a mainstream tv show but it is equally. important in. Has to be underlined actually that this role is a fireman. He's a hero and he's not built on cliches that we've seen typically what would your reaction when you first read the script for it when i first read the script i mean even before i got the script and i got the audition notice and i'm telling you excited for just a guest role on on nine went and i get the email and it's like series regular audition for nine one. One lonestar transfer firefighter. Who is from the midwest roughneck and is being recruited down to join this new rag. Tag team of elite firefighters. And i was like. Are you kidding me. This is exactly what i want. You know so excited by the character description. I mean we've come a long way in. How characters aren't even describing the breakdowns for auditions. And how respectful they are how much they understand. You know the difference between a trans man trans woman or someone who's non binary. I didn't think there would really be a day when i would be able to play a trans male aerobic character as a regular. Oh and you thought that because looking at the history of film literally hasn't ever been a character like that ever. No no no and i mean one of the amazing things about working on disclosure with. I got a chance to revisit. Some of the things that i saw growing up and then things that i hadn't seen before and as i looked through just hours and hours of film clips from tv shows. I realized like they're very rarely. Has been actual trans. Men characters represented until the late nineties with boys. Don't cry but even then the director had described the character as a female person wanted to be a male and all this kind of stuff. You know she retracted that. But most of the representation that i had seen were female characters women who decided to cross dress as a male for some sort of gain so it was like this you know. Women's empowerment story in male packaging. And at the end of the day. You know once you know her her love life was on the line or you know when she got what she needed her. She proved that she can do anything she takes. All the mail stuff off in becomes woman again. You know there was this whole believe. Almost that transmit don't exist. You know it was always kind of like women in disguise. So i thought either i have to just continue to play this male characters or just. I'd never thought that it would come from a television. Show a series regular role on a network television show
Athlete Chris Mosier on Being a Trans Athlete and the Queerness of His Sport
"Everyone my name. Is chris mosier my pronouns him his i am a How you just stumped me in the first question how you want your audience to know me. So i am the first out a transgender athlete to make team usa. I am an advocate activist for transition in sport. My mission is to make it easier for every person who comes after me to make sure that everybody knows that they have the opportunity to play the sports that they love and be their authentic selves. And i'm the founder of trans athlete dot com which is leading resource for trans inclusion in sports. And will you also talk about your sports specifically like what. What is your specialty. Yeah definitely this is fun. So i started off as a triathlete when i first transitioned actually before transition identifies a trans man. I was raised in socialized. This female grew up playing girls and women's sports but in two thousand ten decided to make medical transition transition categories. Kind of the short version of this is that. I wanted to make sure that i didn't lose my opportunity to play sports and so delayed transition for a while before. Actually the saying that transition. Because i didn't want to lose my ability to compete in sports so triathlon was the first part swim bike run and then i moved over to duathlon so duathlon is run bike run. It's a lesser known sport. It's associated with triathlon. It's super fun. And i don't like cold water so it's perfect remain and then last year in january twenty twenty. I went to the olympic trials for race walking so i was first trans man to make it to him. Men's olympic trials and i was in race walking. It was a sport. I picked up the year before Because i know somebody who is race walker and they recruited me and it was super fun. Okay this is this is. I'm sure the question that you get the most often after saying that. But how difficult is it to not break into a run when you are race walk. I just want to really understand the mechanics of like. I know my body can go faster than this if i do this other thing but the rules are right right right. So are you familiar with the rules. Let's talk about it. Yeah no i. Don't i mean i've seen it. I've certainly seen it. And i would imagine. That are very specific. Rules on what your body can do. That has to be true right right right right so the difference between a run and race walk is that your leg has to be straight when it hits the ground so your front leg has front knee has to be straight when it hits the ground and then you can't break that knee so bended until it's under your body. Ramen other thing is that one foot has to be on the ground to the human eye at all times so it has to look at if you slow down wow will do liftoff but so it has to look like you are on the ground at all times with one foot. So how hard is it like. It's funny that's not. Actually the question that i get the most the question that i think. I'm pretty interesting with my nose. It's around race walking like come easy on yourself. Question i get the most around race. Walking is was it harder to come out as a trans man or as a race walker. Which i love because it was way harder to come out as a race walker at this point in my life. If we're being honest. I didn't tell people about it for a while because i was like super because it's like the queerest sport that i could think of t tried to to go like You know in in the most wonderful
Transformations: Three 'Coming Outs' with Max Appenroth
"It could be interesting to tell you about my life with three coming out. That i had so far his like offended. People look at me when i tell them like. Yeah what three coming out like. What's going on with you. And i like to tell the story about my mom and my wedding day like Married to a wonderful man and on my wedding day my mom said to one of my friends like there's nothing that can shock her anymore because like after having dealt with three coming out of her child there is nothing you could throw her off the wrecks anymore than i think i would just like to start a little bit chronologically because like when i was thirteen i came out as lesbian like to delegate about myself i was female assigned at birth and lifts for twenty something years an identity as a woman or at least i thought i was that because when i was younger being seen as female like it didn't work for me to didn't work with boys like i was interested in them played with them but like in everything else goes beyond players. I that's something that's like something something's wrong. Something's off. And i thought okay. If i'm not into poison i must be a lesbian. And they. This is what. I what i told my parents when i was thirteen. And my mom first reaction was a bit weird like she wanted to sue my first girlfriend because she was like nineteen. Which was like this is like fooling fooling around with a minor loud. I was it was it was a reaction then of course like distinctive like i would never have grandchildren but anyway she overcame that and accepted me and they accepted me for. I am because my dad. He was really cool. It was like yeah i understand. Why like women so sorry so it was actually that was. That was what i thought. Who i am and i have wonderful relationships with women in my teens and my early early twenties and but then there was something that can all along the way like time that i was dead. I felt like i was searching for something if restless all the time and i was always really hyperactive and just like not knowing what was going on because of couldn't sell it couldn't there was something there was something more and i remembered that when i was eighteen like i went to this women's festival and there was a drag king workshop in it was like okay. What's never heard of his. Like i'm just gonna go up just going to try it out and see what's going to happen. There was like these to renew gorgeous drag kings. That helped other people for the first time you know to to dress up like was always i was always like this bush type which dyke person and i was already looking a bit more what people stereotypically describe as masculine like short hair in jeans and like you know the just a typical typical butch dyke And so they helped as you know like to to put a beard on your phase night to to find your chest to get a flat chest with a Just bandages trying to to make us laugh. As possible and stuff like that. And i back then. I remember the moment when i walked into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror just in complete shock that i was so shocked in that moment that i just immediately my immediate response was like washing everything off like washing washington beard of taking the advantages off because i was like so overwhelmed with a feeling in that in that particular moment from that moment on i really tried hard to pass as like a feminine appearing woman like i bought bras extended. I never will be four. Because i felt like i got something. I need to counter in a way and obviously that failed because back then i was still living in the southern part of germany. Like if people haven't heard like. I'm not a native english speaker. I live in germany at the moment based in berlin. When i finished school i moved to berlin immediately and started my life here and obviously because it's much more diverse city than than where i came from and where he grew up like a rapid the countryside in a very small town and all of sudden it was like all these possibilities like all these people that i met in amongst them was also trans guy and i was like i i was witted out by this idea but then eventually you know there was there was a time. I was in my early twenties when i quit smoking. And because of quitting smoking also changed my diet. Radically lost twenty kilos in like six months. Something like that night was a pretty big person. And because of that often i comb. My body has changed. My physique has changed. I got very slim and definitely less curves my boobs small and everything and i felt like there was a a strong change in my body happening. What also happened was that i dreamt multiple times that my friends were calling me. Max like in my dreams. My friends were calling me maximum. I woke up in the mornings. I was like what the fuck is going on like. What what what is happening. Like what is what is this thing you know and that was for me. Some sort of like a women comes from now. There was a day in june two thousand nine. That was at party like in the middle of the dance. Larger started crying in the fairmont. Came up to what what is going on. What's happening with what's wrong with you. Why you crying. Did someone do something that to just like. I'm i'm not a woman in. This was the only thing that i that i brought out. And then she was like what do you mean. Like what are you and i'm like i don't know i just know i'm not a woman you know. And i started on the birth birth night of macs more or less and for me back then. It was really wade today. Describe myself as masculine. Someone masculine spectrum. But i'm not a man. This is something that is a concept that does that. i don't understand. I don't know who men are like this concept in society that would which also comes with a lot of stereotypes in a lot of expectations and things how people should be. I might look like someone that people would describe as a man like. I have masculine the parents i can. I'm having a beer. Showed his body type. That stereotypically fits with people describe as man but like it doesn't it's not my
Me, Him And Her
"Stephen shirley i've been in a relationship with a man for at least twelve years. We've known each other. Since we were children growing up in the church we are the perfect couple. We have great memories and we always planned to spend the rest of our lives together. The only thing that's coming between us is the woman he lives with. My man was in prison for fourteen years but i was faithful to him the entire time when he got out he moved in with the female he only known a few months. He's been out for five years and now he's trapped with her because she's helping him get back on its feet and he's helping her take care of her kids and his kid. He told me that her youngest child is his. And i didn't hold it against him because things happen whenever we talk. He tells me he's miserable and says he wants to come live with me. The final straw was when he told me that she's making him marry her since she's been taking care of him for five years. He told me that she knows about me and thinks we're just best friends. Stop him from marrying her because he does not love her. He's into threesomes and he's had a wild sex life. So i know he's bored out of his mind with her. I have a nice home and enough money to take care of us so it would be a smooth transition for him. I failed to mention that. I'm a very handsome and debonair man because that has nothing has nothing to do with wire. Wrote this letter okay. I want my man with me where he belongs. How can i get him from this woman. Okay okay you try to trick us right there in the end. But i'm gonna tell you. Sat out completely tricked. He tried it the advice. We i'm going to give will be the same if it's a man or a woman in this in this particular instance. Yeah so you asked the question. How can you get him from this woman and the answer is you can't you can't get him away. He is where he wants to be. Either he's scared to come out as bisexual or gay or he's just plain selfish. Wants you both on his terms. I mean you've heard the expression wanting his cake. I want my cake and eat it too. Well that's what this is about. Twelve years is a long time to be with anyone right anyone without some type or any type of commitment marriage. I'm going to marry you. Be a life partner. Common-law something. I mean you should do yourself a favor and realized that he's lying to you just to keep you on the side and to make sure you don't go anywhere else or be with anyone else so you gotta stop believing his lies you have to. I mean he's telling you he's miserable and wants to come live with you. Why hasn't he done it. I mean he's helping. She's helping him get back on. Its feet sounds like he's been back on his feet for all of the five years he's been out and the biggest lie. She's making him mary her well. How is she doing that. You mentioned in the letter of her putting a gun to his head. He didn't tell you that or anything. How how is he doing that. Because the kids are or whatever no. He's lying he does not want to be with you time like that. He wants to keep it on the down low. Okay you need to let him go and just and let him just be with her and you find yourself someone else because you know this is all. You're going to get from him. This is it and you don't wanna waste another twelve years with him. You're just wasting your time waiting for this guy. He's not going to
How Stonewall Unified the LGBTQ+ Community With Activist Mark Segal
"In the mythology ising stonewall we talk about how it lasted three days as if it lasts three days just on its own and something i had heard before until your book was about how it lasted three days because you were writing chalk on the street come to stone tomorrow night. How intentionally kept it going. I mean you writing chalk on the street meet stonewall night like that spread information that that's like tweeting. Today we had no cell phones. We had no internet most couldn't afford a phone quite honestly. During some fifty sort of amazing. I would go out to various speaking engagements. Some of them were museums. Some of them were in schools. Everyone had it seems a different day. Oh went on for three days. Oh it went on for four days. Oh it went on for six days. How many days did go on is a good question for me. You went on three hundred sixty five days because right from the beginning we started organizing that includes from the street running on street tomorrow night to the third or fourth or fifth night. I don't remember which where we had leaflets on the street saying you know we're not going to allow the The police to oppress us anymore. This is our neighborhood. That's what is so that was in itself illegal. When we gathered at the steps of stone wall that was illegal homosexuals could not congregate to that was when we said. We're gonna fight the police. That was illegal. Everything we did in that first year was basically illegal and we wouldn't be stopped. We were going to be out loud proud and don't even try to stop us. I don't think i knew that. Part of history that it was illegal to congregate if you're gay. Yup that's why stonewall was so popular because if you were walking up and down christopher street all night long which is what i did with my friends. The chances argue would be stopped by the police sometime. The police that they saw drag queen will try to find out if they had three pieces of mail clothing on because that was the law. Others would be harassed. It wasn't a safe as you might think it would be so when you went into the stonewall it was a safe place it was a place you to be yourself. You could hold hand. You put your arm around somebody and more importantly to eighteen year old. You can dance sure. Now you mentioned. Marty robinson he with one of the co founders of the liberation front which was a group that really helped to forge. The foundation of our community was the gay liberation front. Was that group something that came out of stonewall or was it already in existence beforehand. There were many organizations before stonewall. The leading one in new york was mattachine and all my first or second week i tried to go in about a sheen. They said i was too young as i was leaving. That's where i met. Marty robinson who is coming out and he said you know these guys. They don't get it they don't understand what's going on in nineteen sixty nine. We just can't be doing once a year march. We need to do some more. He created the action group which i was a member off. There were many little groups or pockets of groups like that around new york somehow. After stonewall we all unite for the first time action roof aries lesbians. We got together. That's what created gay liberation front. He was the first united movement in our country from the grass. Roots up before that drag queens weren't allowed to be part of it before that streaking like me weren't allowed to be part of any movement so that change gay liberation front. That's what we were
Choosing To Foster To Adopt To Build a Family
"You got talked into having kids matt. How were you in the process of like. Did you ever consider surrogacy. Or were you always gonna do fostering to adopt or tell us about that both griffin i had spent a considerable amount of time in africa. I lived in west africa for two years in the peace corps and during that time which now is like twenty years back i was really struck by the fact that in in west africa specifically the idea of family is much more fluid than i think what we traditionally see his family hearing west africa. You know if you don't have a kid 'cause you can't have a kid for some reason but neighbor has six your neighbor will give you wanna. There's it's just kind of like the way the community works like f. You need kids for survival of kids are how you cook kids or how you clean. Kids are how you ensure your your old age and so it really struck me at all. We can't give way to my brother. It struck me that astray that like we had a really generally a very limited view of what family could be in this country and so when it come time to have kids i think for both griffin i. We were just both like well. We're we don't need to go through the hundreds of thousands of dollars process of surrogacy or the thirty thousand dollars process of even a private adoption foster. That's like spell like the right thing for us to do. Yes so you chose foster with the hope to adjust that past. I'm sure you did your research. And you knew that that was gonna come with possibly heartache. Along the way. And that's that's you have to have a really thick skin to take that path. No i mean. I think we knew that there was always a possibility of baby going back going home. I think that that is an easier kind of idea in theory and i think we both went into it. You know again. Having a peace corps volunteer griffin ran a nonprofit in africa. We are both like well. That's what we do you know. We're we're good we're doing. It's the right thing to do. And we'll learn to love the biological family and we want to do what's right for the kid when they hand you five dale baby in the hospital and you start hearing the story of how that baby got their got there. I don't know something kicked it. It became a lot harder to envision. The idea of giving a baby back now. But i think that most people certainly gay men don't think about is you don't think you have any paternal instincts and that was actually the shock for us all of a sudden when somebody hands you a baby and says don't kill it. Yeah your instincts animal. Don't kill it your animalistic instincts. Kick in the baby. Could make funny breath from across the room. You're like you know so do. You can't rule out the nature portion of the program and so i think that also made it a very different challenge in theory thought. Oh yeah we'll we'll give a baby back and then once you get the baby you're not trying to get the baby
Hayley Kiyoko on Speaking Her Truth in Her Music and on Social Media
"Are you i. I saw an instagram post from you. Maybe it was yesterday and felt very vulnerable. Felt like you were talking about. Not being sure where you fit into different box. Elia lady blocks as story latoya doing. I'm doing okay. I think i'm i. I'm thinking i'm doing better than most. I'm obviously healthy. And you know. Staying kind of hibernated in los angeles owed still pretty crazy over here. But i'm trying to practice vulnerability on social media. Because i used to be just like so wild and vulnerable and just like not even second gasset. I wanna just like post all the time. And then i would say like the past probably like the past year year and a half. I've just kind of stopped practicing that vulnerability and like opening myself up because it has become scarier for some reason and And so yes. I'm just trying to practice that. And be more open. Because i mean that's that's how i've gotten my start which was just being open with who i was and the truth in the reality of being gay in this industry in the ups and the downs and i think You know sometimes when you don't practice it you can. It can get scary. Yeah do you. Do you remember something that changed. Was there a specific event or that that made us recession. Guess being that open. Yeah i mean. I definitely think that i you know. I've been very open with my mental health. And you know. I've definitely battled depression for many years and i would say am actually on the other side which is really the most amazing thing to accomplish adver but i think by being on the other side. I've realized that there's just there a lot of lack of confidence a lot of like i said Courage and this the vulnerability aspect of it because i was in such kind of like a separated darker place It wasn't practice. Because i was staying too. You know in words not sharing things and kind of just going through what i was going through and you know i think everyone who battles mental health and are going to something you don't necessarily want to share it because it's it's hard it's hard as it is To kind of like confronted yourself. And so i think that that was like a big component of just kind of this like separation. I think i had with who i was and what i was going through and then social media and now that i'm on the other side i'm trying to You know implement that in practice up
Ivy Bottini: The Pioneering Lesbian's Legacy
"In one thousand nine hundred seventy a group of women from the national organization for women fareed across the water to the statue of liberty with fabric hidden underneath dresses. They had it bunched up over their stomachs to make them look like this massive contingency of pregnant women then when they've got the statue declined up and put the fabric together dripping an over the railing to form a gigantic banner. It read women of the world unite. They proceeded to take over the monument singing playing guitar dancing into a kick line all until the police were finally cold now. This demonstration from nine hundred seventy was led by the great ivy. Bo teeny who. I was incredibly sad to learn died. Just a few days ago she was ninety four years old and over the course of those ninety four years. I've had a truly brilliant career of service. She got her start. Working with gloria steinem and buddy for dan sixty s. She helped found the first chapter of the national organization for women. She was a core part of their leadership team until she was kicked out of the movement for being a lesbian but schreuder character. She did not stop her. Iv promptly moved to los angeles and join the fight for lgbtq writes it. Is there in los angeles where i got to know ivy. She was living in west. Hollywood on the street from me at turned out so one day i walked over rang her doorbell and she bite me inside. I spent a few afternoons there with her. Going through stacks of painting. She'd made hearing stories and yes. One day i brought my mic to record so this interview that you're bound to hear is from january of two thousand nineteen it originally aired luminary app and i wanted to re air it now to celebrate the life of a trailblazer someone who fought in advocated to the world a better safer place until the very end from the advocate magazine in partnership with glad. I'm jeffrey masters and day in the podcast. Were celebrating the life and legacy of ivy bucatini. So you got your start fighting for women's rights in the sixties and have been a lifelong activist. Ever since i was surprised to learn that you initially joined the movement quite by accident. You followed a girl yes and so you could have very easily gone home after that night and never thought of it again but something obviously grabbed you at that meeting. Did you know right away. Well it wasn't a meeting. Oh it was. It was on get together on fan euro fox as acton
BONUS 2: Talk Art Podcast x Homo Sapiens Podcast - Part 2
"We've done a homo sapiens. Meets toll card episode where we kind of fused. The two things in the topic is basically clear out. If you haven't listened to a cup for it's really popular. They talked to all different sorts of people about art. Like took stephen fry grayson. Perry billy porter tracey emin. And the reason they posted it was to demystify are an. I am all full. That so part one of the episode is over on twitter feed so go there and have a listen and part two is here on our feet. So you can listen. To the entire episode if you straddle the two feeds in the first part of our chat. We're all talking about the artists that have shaped an influence. So people like madonna david. Hockney and all this part on our feet is part to where we we're discussing the queer art movement and we discussed all the that we have in our homes masterminds from ebay and we answer the famous question which is what piece of art would we still in an heist. We had so much fun. Recording this episode so have a listen and checkout or cards episodes. They're brilliant how the autism today that are queer and and having a big impact on coach Good question. I don't know the i have the answer to that but i was thinking about who i like now and there's this guy could liam partly who is not queer but he came to my attention because he had a bit queer aesthetic. That made me think of david hockney. He's based in hackney wick and he does. These very simple paintings are very hockney. Ask of like they're really cool. I just think he's really interesting. It's actually very current. Because this whole there's a big move at the moment figuration and it says that he's influenced by mcdonald's the beatles and picasso. I love i love that. And it's kind of de mystifying. In the same way. Like i always think people who are making all no indulging the mole pretentious side of are just really interest me because it feels a bit more pure and this is amazing guy on ebay who i think is probably deliberately hidden but like he makes fakes of stuff on ebay. Like say he'll say like this is young johncock to sketch and stuff and so fucking clearly not one because it's three ninety nine a to cause full exactly the same but i still love it because i think something quite fun in playing with that the way that people will change their attitude something based on where they think it's from and be like. Oh good thank him this. I think that's such an interesting thing. Because i've got andy warhol marilyn and the thing is it's the the man who was the story but the man who was the screen printer for andy warhol like after he. After warhol died he still made some turned a few out for extra cash. One of which is the one of the ones i've got. So what claiming they were made within his lifetime. Or do the name him. After andy warhol and i'm not sure if he i'm not sure if he if he fessed up or discovered later but the thing is that he's basing their the same things because they are the same skinflints that came from this thing. And he's the man who oversaw it but he but he sold some after cats. I guess they would just have lying around. And and so. It's an interesting thing so technically is a war. He'll of course. Because i signed the whole thing. Actually it's not sort of sanction. Does the proper way still is a little bit. But i said you know that kind of a you guys sure. Know that sort of hierarchy slash nobody in terms of whatever when and what Providence and all that stuff. So i think it's really interesting though because i it's so ridiculous i've actually gotten onto a maryland and my study in the city and got it interesting. I got to inam. What's up his code kinds of city. It was on on an auction for the opening of lgbt the first lgbt center in kansas city by that country western start Who got sort of totally shut. Die when she came out name right. But tha that was. I bought at the auction. Boys you asked him about queer autists in the future but who for you are those people. Well i think there's a whole there's a whole group of queer. Art movement is happening in new york and brooklyn and but the. There's someone when. I was thinking about this earlier and i thought someone who's really done something incredible with hindi wiley. Who was i. The first man of color black man to ever paint a presidential portrait but also he's openly gay so historically to be chosen to paint their portrait of Barack obama when cheryl did one of michelle obama it's That was a massive moment in our history queer. History black history for for him to have done there. I'm just looking now. Incredible he he he. He's also done a public sculpture of a young black man in of nike trainers sitting on the back of a horse that they put into times square. And it's now gone to.
179. Aidan Park
"So big shoutout to sierra for being amazing. I also want to mention and this continues to be so challenging to talk about that. Y'all have been really supporting the show on patriot. Since i talked about it last week. A bunch more folks signed up and you go to patriot. Dot com slash. Hey queiroz and let me talk to you very candidly about this show. This show has never been something that has made me money or even supported itself. I have been sort of pouring money into it since it started because even when we get ads it costs something to pay for a production into and put it out there in the world. And that's been important to me. Because i love doing the show and also when i'm traveling around in a non pandemic time and have other sources of income from the road to me. It has always felt like. I just love doing this. Show and break-even is my goal but break even looks a little different
113: Do Queer People Have To Have Kids?
"My journey from zero to one hundred miles in under twenty four hours. Well at least. That's the plan. Anyway i'm going to share. What really happens. When a typical non-professional runner takes on the challenge of completing an ultra marathon. So whether you're already part of the ultra community or if you're just ultra curious. Listen to she runs. Ultras on apple podcasts or spotify it's for homo sapiens. Do you what. I'm going to be in a western musical display. Phyllis hemispheres extra. What the hell is that. This company the fire alarm again. Oh my god this happened yesterday. This is what i was going to tell you about for once. it's me. What do i do my supposed to leave. No nelson's virginian. I'm out on the balcony having look as a woman standing on the first game. So i'm staying in these flats right far because of all the time and everyone has to leave a tip really bizarre situation where i am standing on the balcony. The fire up scaring off doing anything like literally. No one's going anywhere which is a bit worrying. 'cause he's like how am i supposed to know when it's the real one yesterday stepped on the lift and said there's a fire on this floor. Whatever from my way out onto the fire escape woke all the way down locked at the button. Had to climb over wool trade dignified listens jump out and then went to reception was not. Hey what's going on now like. Oh yeah this happens all the time to worry about it. A bit of information given. There's a really fillon on alarm system going over my floor. Tell you what listeners. I'm going to just pause here. Find out what's going on and comeback update out the building a bit of grass with a bit of shade. The fire engines have come the firemen come. Do i want to play into finding set in gender stereotypes attractive listeners. Do i find firemen attractive. Yes very healthy. Handsome looking fireman have turned up. There is no fi it seems but allowed back in the building as of yet quite weird to every time someone kirks the whole building fire alarm goes off. It's we need to find because it was my fewer as well. We need to find out who. Who is the person cooking and saying of the fire alarm on my floor. It's a little bit of a mystery. To be honest. Every time fire alarm goes off anywhere.
School of Block with Lea Black
"Opinions. And we'll backtrack. That's why it's a dumb gay podcast. A dumb political podcast. It's all it's all shit social. It's all shit i mean. Are we gonna die. I don't know who. I am extremely of this shit. This shit is chomping teeth argue. Mp what. i don't know i don't even know. Hey everybody welcome to dumb gay pandemic politics. I'm julie and i'm brandy and this is the podcast where we talk about the weekend corona virus politics. We're talking about reality tv and this week marielle. yes. Johnson and johnson dropped it like. It's hot with that new basic business vaccine. We didn't even need to hear that. It's the least invasive. The most like the flu shot. It's not fragile. And doesn't need to be refrigerated and you only need one shot. They had us as johnson and johnson. After i'm gonna get my baby powder and i'm going to put it in my spots and then i'm gonna get my johnson's and vaccine. I mean of course we want the vaccine made by the classic. American company used to manufacture cocaine and opium for medicinal use. Yes classic american company started by the classic american dynasty. The fucked up drug-addicted johnson family. It's perfect for us. It's as if they all got together and said. How can we get those two drunk dead in burbank. To get the vaccine. Those good for nothing rotted holes. Thus slacker moocher go to the lazy layabout face and that's exactly how we're like. Oh don't mind if we do. Don't mind if we do now. I only wish that. I had in my vintage antique apothecary. Dark jar collection of hashish opium. Cocaine of all the the johnson and johnson jars. They don't really match the vibe skies. i'm going for. I always went for more of like a french. And then some of them are like like a just a sixty just americana apothecary jar. But the johnson and johnson are very british. They're glass and the cocaine was like for is liquid cocaine they would put into your eyes so those those don't match the vibes. I'm going for. But i bet you now if anyone has them or if they're still selling them on ebay skyrocketed in value just skyrocketed. Just throw your vaccine in it. So we haven't gotten the vaccine. It's only just gone out this week but that is in case anyone was wondering and we can hear people from all around saying fourteen people yelling. We didn't we weren't. We've been there actually when and how and if you were all both going to do it but if and when we are forced to as we all will be if we want to travel to work et cetera. We will be doing the johnson and johnson. Yes that's correct anyway. We got valentine's gift from fort worth from our erotic third devon verana now. It's just not valentine's day without a gift from your erotic not should be a card. Oh my god should be a hallmark card. That is a hallmark card. It is just not valentine's day without a gift from your erotic. Love your arado. She's such an angel devon. She's had a really challenging. Start to twenty twenty one. A above and beyond on top of the crunch rap siege. She lost her dad while doing an intensive retreat with her daughter and then the power went out in texas and she still remembered my birthday and got us valentine's day gift. Who's the anyone thoughtful. I mean she sent us a piece of art and then a frame from china's on to frame it. Because god knows devon and you do that we'd be like we don't have a free. She says girders happy valentine's day. I think this might pair nicely with the drug den. Love love love. Y'all exo and you're right. It does paradisea with the drug dead. It's basically art of the word. Fuck all pretty much ilinka. The word correct my cussing has been and i have to apologize formerly to fill elegant and dr guacamole goldman. Phyllis i apologize. It's an cussing it is. It's the vocabulary of dumb people. And i'm only getting dumber as the days go by. You can't grasp words out of your just grabbing cuss words out of the sky. Because it's the one that's so easy and it's so it feels so good but thank you devon. It's it's gonna it's gonna. It's obviously it's perfect for the drug dot. It is perfect. And i think we got what could possibly be an anonymous gift. Oh it's a dumpster. Fire nightlight that came from gary roseanne. Ski at the toy chronicle on street in london i mean everything about that is like right up my alley. You know what. I mean true from eighteen ninety from the toy street. Donegal ask what it sounds like. Something tells me that. Gary isn't one of our fourteen listeners. So i don't know it could have been from gemma and yoni liam p and rob. They're all from the uk. We've got many celebrities that's true so huge in the uk. I mean just the three households they say in the uk. I don't know if you've heard the news. They say that all of the uk if these particular people were to walk down the street spice girls julian brandy and simon cowl wouldn't have enough police to be able to all hazards quite frankly never to never bins. And all hazard it's all i can think of. Spice girls resumes. Well thank you gary. I don't know. Gary wonderful to find out that gary roseanne ski from the toy chronicle on street in london was a listener was one of the hello. I would love it. If gary gary gary gary gary gary gary my professional life
Circle Back and Eat Me (with Margaret Cho)
"We bitch about all the things. We love to hate every single week. I'm your host matt. bella cy. I'm here in my home studio recording far far far away from my producer. Barry thank hi berry came mad. I know that in the past few weeks. There's only one topic that people really have been thinking about. Ben worried about concerned about and that is your chicken salad on a bagel journey. And i just wanted to check in and see where we're at on that journey. I found the best one At least since. I've moved to brooklyn. Wow today was i was wildly hungover this morning. One drink that. I made last night during my life show. Thank you shaddai. Everybody who who came to that. There were a lot of our fans and i had I mixed like whiskey and fireball and red bull. And there's lot of stuff in my head and i had one of those and i was very hung over and nothing hits harder than a a a bagel sandwich when you're hung over so i found a place i think it's called the yield bagel shop or something isn't shop with two ps to ease our you know a are selling the good stuff and it wasn't horrible so that is my new bar. I will say. I've had a week right. I mean everybody had weeks. I got kicked out of starbucks earlier. This week i going is seventh grade. Yeah i needed to buy wine. I actually needed it for a recipe. I know everybody hates me. Sorry i did it. And he wasn't gonna bring up baking cooking and i left my arm just as it started to like blizzard outside. Turns out there was no liquor. Store open But i was like ten minutes to noon in the one place opened at noon. So it's like okay. I'll go to starbucks and killed ten minutes in for the first time in fucking ever starbucks had my order ready like immediately normally have to wait for fifteen minutes so i was sort of like waiting like looking out at the blizzard. Like i cam not ready to go out there yet. I wasn't like sat down anywhere. I was waiting. And then she had the nerve because she knew my name because there was a mobile order so she was like matthew. You got everything. And i was like. Yeah yeah i'm good and she was like okay. Well you know it's grabbing go. So that's how she said it wa you already playing now you need to what go it was just the way she didn't say it declares was just you know you know it's grab and go okay. Yup yup okay. Anyway we can move on. How's your we You know my week. Unfortunately for everyone is actually really good. I'm fully cost playing Louisa may alcott eighteen hundreds new england winter vibes right now. I am at my partner. Alex's family's lake house in new hampshire the lake is frozen over. We did pretend to ice skate on it. Which i mean. We did not wear ice skates. i just wore my boots and like twirled around on the frozen lake. I went sledding. I made hot chocolate literally tending a fire. That's how i'm doing. Well glad i'm glad you're week is going well when mine isn't saying oh no robot in anyway. I think we should get in to today's episode because coming up today we're going kick things up as always with force. Things verse shot about the stupidest most ridiculous worse
Space Sweepers Livestream (Audio)
"He is it. Transphobic will be addressing issues of trans phobia and trans massage. Any we may also address issues of racism. Classism able ism and various other intersectional issues in this podcast so this is a trigger warning. The panelists on is it. Transphobic will also use strong language so listener discretion is advised. Hey everyone just wanted to give you a heads up. This is the audio from the livestream. We did talking about space. Sweepers on net flicks is still on net. Flicks is a really fun movie. I definitely recommend everybody. Check it out. That said the if you are watching This on youtube and you are not a patriots subscriber. You are watching a the version without the actual video. We are walling that off to patriots subscribers exclusively so even just a dollar you can get access to the video of space sweepers As well as if we do another livestream i dunno. I had fun. It was really cool. We've done livestreams in the past and they've been a lot of fun so if this is content that you would like to see Let us know and join our patriae on patriots dot com slash as transphobic The other thing. I wanted to warn you about is. There is a little echo. We tried to solve it and for the most part it is solved. But there's a little bit of an echo on some of it. So fyi there. It is enjoy space sweepers. Nope you don't need to see another thirty seconds. that's fine. Hi everyone my name is ashley lauren. Rogers and the creator in the pre survey transplant. Podcast we're about to go live like we're already you're watching us. You're seeing a go live. Wow i normally able to cut these things out. That's the beauty of editing. But we can't do that today because we're live of mazing so i'm going to stop doing whatever it is that i am doing at the moment and start bringing in My co host today. So hi everyone. I. if you would please tell The folks watching and listening your names your pronouns and yeah we'll just jump right in Hi i'm emmett asher parent and my pronouns. Are they them hi. I'm silas barrett. My parents are he hid. Hello jonathan election. Produce and my pronouns are day them awesome so i am. I'm just going to get the ball rolling. Ice started watching this film. Because i heard from emittant silence. Oh my gosh you all need to watch his film. Oh my gosh all need to watch this film. Just in general not specifically to me and the jonathan approached me and said actually. We have to do this film. We have to talk about this phil so we'll get into what. This film is in a moment. The film space sweepers. But i would love to hear how y'all came to find. What what what's the to you. Oh i need to watch this film. I heard it from around here. So i'm the i'm the news and entertainment editor at toward dot com. And so i'm the person who's usually responsible for getting all the trailers put up on the site and that that movie you've been coming up all over the place for a while so i basically kept seeing the trailers and was like this. Looks like it's gonna be really fun and decided that When it came out. I i'm also one of the primary film critics for the site so i was like okay. I'm gonna make sure that. I watched this when it comes out and i'm going to get a review done and i was expecting to enjoy it. I was not expecting to enjoy it as much as i did. I i think mostly. Because i'm i really love big bombastic action you space operas but i i find that a lot of them. Don't they don't. They're nice exciting as they used to be. I think that they aren't there. They're made by big corporations now and they're all doing the exact same thing so i was really happy to see something that wasn't doing that and i live with them so we're super married dad. Which means that. I heard about it. You know three or four times every time so often they would be like you know we should really watch that space meaner sweepers. Nubia movie is that they would tell me in the two week. Two days later they'd be like do you wanna watch sweepers and what. What is it and they were telling me. They were right. We we need to watch it. Yeah and i register review and of course you know you someone who could tell me to watch someone just recite a phone. But can i be like oh emmett set to do sure. Yeah that makes sense. So i'll do it But that's because you're writing so smart about these things that like. You probably wouldn't say that unless you know it's warranted. But i watched it and i loved it and ashley what i what i loved about. Our interaction on space sweepers was just passed along to you. And then you start watching it. I loved your your tax. That was just like oh the robot got it. Yeah is so often whenever anyone tells me. Hey ashley you need to see this or especially when it's explicitly. Hey we should do this for the podcast and no one immediately jumps out like immediate. At first i was like okay. Is it the captain. Is it like where is this going. I feel like jonathan wouldn't be so like we do this unless there's some of its like explicitly transit like definitely there. That's like mike speed rubs. oh yeah. Nobody was slim jim but yeah and so it was just like oh it's the robot isn't it and that it was just like it's clearly the road so let's let's talk a little bit about bugs. I will say. I talked about space sweepers length with my friend ronnie brown on the nerd caliber podcast and we talked a little bit about gender. And we talked. I talked a lot which you can hear. All of my hot takes which are very bad. Hot takes in my opinion in my own opinion. I think they're bad but they're very much this like robot. Yeah yeah that's the one here how you all felt about bugs and sort of like seeing this character come into her own. That's a really good point that sort of the trans sort of are they actually transit trans allegory. It's often an alien robot. Like not just like a human we would say oh could also live today in our earth and that's certainly true but there's something about it and the roof the sort of slow reveal that you meet bob's and the the shape that they are sound of their voice is what we would eat in society would say. Oh that's a man and then you sort of get this reveal that you've made an assumption and because it's a robot something about it just highlights the ridiculousness of
"Were not earning. Oh my god. Can you hear the pinging out my window walking who. It's your mind bomb so for those of you. Who don't know i went to a psychic once and and and she just do my cards and then she said. Do you have anything else. you wanna talk about. I was like well. I did want to ask what my mom she goes. Oh my god. I'm so glad you said that she's been with me all week. And it turned out the psychic was also medium and my mom. Rosie showed up and so long story short. She told me at some point that my mom's signal for me was birds so like burn she said and don't forget pigeons or doves and she said don't forget pigeons or doves to and so all all winter long. These pigeons have been like right outside my window. And i and i keep thinking it's my mom rosie saying hello to me from the other side and so now. My son walks by the wind and he goes hirose now. Every time i see pigeons which is all the time in the city. I think of your mom now too. I say hi. And they're just. I think it's just because it's really cold. So our building has this weird curved friday and so they're just trying to like stay warm on the window but i think it's my mom's totally your mom no anyway. Do you like my t shirt. That i'm wearing t-shirts this fine. Looking baseball t is from our new merch line. I ordered a couple of things to test it out. I ordered a t shirt. And i ordered also a laptop case and when i finally get my shit together. I'm gonna order some stuff to go by that moore. We've got mugs onesies t shirt. There's even talk pillows. Which is absurd phone. I buy stuff. There's a pillow case. You get a yellow actual likely. Throw pills rosehill. I thought but more importantly jamie was always on me about. We need some kind of like saying on our merge because nobody just wants a logo so we did one line that is love makes a family. Yeah so it'll be good for your whole family for pride says start stocking now love makes so everybody can get a different colored t shirts so your family makes a rainbow with love mexican. She did there but also lake. If you have any other ideas of things that we say all the time on this podcast that would look well on a shirt. Please let us know. We'll put it on a shirt. It should just be like a picture of helen. shut up. we're gonna make a special. Helen addition i think i know we haven't decided what the saying should be. It should just be like wake up pal and the picture of her. Not people still smoke. There would be like an ashtray with how go to his talk dot com if you would like to get some. Yeah you'll get that merch. Let's talk about our guest jamie. Yes please our next guest came to us. Because zach penny and sue son. He went out and he bought our book for them for christmas because he thought that they would really like it. And penny really dug the book and then reached out to us. Yes they are trailblazers blazers. They are absolute trailblazers. They did some amazing things for families like ours. Which you're going to hear in the episode but pennies the sweetest person. i think i've loved penny and they live in canada and they fought continuously to establish rights for same sex parents. Which you know we love. Yes so they set up a fund for other. Lgbtq families trying to adopt. Oh wait wait wait. Wait and jimmy. They ran that underground sperm group too. That's a whole thing. We just get a lot. You need to hear the story. Because penny i just love her and the dog her xena princess warrior. Let's get to it. Roll the tape pellet any and welcome to these over his could talk. Thank you for
Poly (with Martin Harding)
"Today i'm joined by martin a south african performer based in london. Who's talking about polly emery and the importance of ethical slattery and they were all debate circle and i was with one of the boys and i made out with him. One of my friends pulled me to the side and was like you know he has a boyfriend right and it just felt kind of like he was trying to call drama and all of that so i figured out which was the boyfriend and walked over to him and made out with him as well. What rome both made out with you know. This is probably true. Stories of quayle life even queer. A sex please be aware that podcast contains strong language and adult themes it would be boring without them. I would just like to talk about my journey with poly-amorous over the last. I keep saying a year but it's now been a year and then a year of pandemic so the last two years. Yeah two thousand. Nineteen real journey for me in discovering how i would like to conduct my love life. I guess is a good way to put it. So how will you conducting it before as any normal single person words dating and meeting people on apps and going on a couple of days and then that fizzling out meeting someone else in all of that and kind of begun like that going on a couple dates with a boy who we could call matthew. We bumped into each other at a festival and then kinda chatting and went on some dates and it kind of didn't really pick up much steam but there was something that and while we were going to properly date we did end up in each other's beds every now and again. We kind of figured out that that was kind of working for us and he became a friends with benefits but attached to those evenings together we would also like do denies movies and cook reach other and there was a very data element and since all of that. He has become more and more important in my life. I'm to the point where i now call him. My poly pa which is a. I feel like it's quite as two liter for the two of us to use. I don't know just to kind of recognize that it's not just a friends with benefits situation and it's something more but we aren't necessarily boyfriends in the traditional sense that's the kind of title we settled them for our relationship and throughout that year we would take breaks if one of us kind of started seeing someone a bit more seriously and cut off the benefits. That happened a few times on both sides and then i started realizing at the start of twenty twenty that i don't want to cut off those benefits with him. other people. I want to incorporate those elements into my love life and when i date mention him and some others. I've picked up along the way. And i'm no longer willing to sever those connections in order to start new ones with other people. 'cause mind that'll politico which is a little network of people in poly-amorous relationships has grown a tiny bit and fluctuated bit since the pandemic. But yeah i'm no longer willing to give up on pollock you'll when i date then jumping forward a little bit in the summer of twenty nine teen. I met this couple at same festival but iran. It was quite funny because i was running around the festival. Kissing boys bumped into some friends. And they're all in a big circle. And i was with one of the boys and i made out with him. One of my friends pulled me to the side. Like know he has a boyfriend right and it just felt kind of like he was trying to cause drama and all of that in my head. I was like well. He wouldn't have kissed me with his boyfriend right there if it was a problem so i figured out which one was the boyfriend and walked over to him and made out with him as well. That's definitely one way to approach it. What drama can they be. They both made out with. China continued to spend several hours of the festival making out with the both of them while enjoying live music and dancing along intense outside and went home attack. Couple then found myself kind of in a situation where i'd be going over and we'd again because each other dinners and going to movies and theater and things that felt quite day t- to me. The couple were honest in that. They told me they weren't ready. Looking or a third or kind of trouble situation to develop which was helpful for me to kind of my head around where they're at where i wanna be and from there. Nothing really changed like our dynamic and really changed. I still join them for plenty of things and spent nights at this in the middle of their bed. I'm which is quite lovely. I would recommend it to anyone being both the big spoon and the little spins simultaneously. Get warm i like. I like to be cool. I like to be on an end. So i can stick my feet out with the band or whatever if i need to.
Sexuality in Pompeii
"Clear. As fact the podcast bringing you create history around the world throughout time. I'm alice i'm irene. And jason and today. We're talking about the so-called cold maidens of pompeii. I have some content warnings before we begin to step aside. This upside will include mentions of slavery mentions of sex weck discussions of death in volcanic eruption discussions of historic and modern sexism and qualify via and also explicit mentions of sex and some swearing in quirks before we get started. I wanna mention that. This isn't the absorb we plan to bring out today. Ally has unexpectedly gone into state. He will be back in time for next episode but he's not here today to present the episode that we plan which means this pain of very lost minute episode put together because of that night. We want to acknowledge that. I research this exclusively last night. That being friday. The upside coming out on monday so there offerings. I normally would have looked into in more depth that i didn't have time to look into pull this upside. That's said. I think i'm telling you anything that's incorrect. I just made it. There are aspects. That i would've researched more thoroughly and probably the aspects that i would have exploited more depths that i didn't because of the time we'll try not to ask you any even difficult questions but probably my slide into have either looked as scholars who like written about this topic before. Oh yeah so. I'm less likely to missing facts that i am to be missing the skull. This paper which has already said all of this. That i just didn't rate i also want to sank. Be on twitter. Who helped me out with understanding from the italian that i needed for upside very last minute mark so i assumed the mice rallies and youtube would have had a pompeii. But i'm gonna give a brief introduction of what pompeii is you haven't pompeii was an ancient roman city on the south west coast of italy. It had a population of about twenty thousand people and it was an important raymond. Seaport eye looked up australian cities with an equivalent population. So i get an idea. The equivalent kind of victorian city of that size. I found was mind garage. Okay that's going to mean to you to and nobody else listening to this. Podcast please i will censor your local city that matches up to the population. Yeah i will choose to imagine like the wangaratta just transplanted into italy oil pump. Hey just transplanted into exploria. Nine hundred ryan is better. I like pompeii the just do a scope. And the town of wangaratta has to get together and organizing evacuation. Because i know what's going to happen you can write this book iranian. And then he lied. I will scathingly review. It gave between the town mayor. Langer the town mayor poco. Okay so in. Seventy nine see mount vesuvius which is a volcano quite close to pompeii erupted and buried the city in rock and ash killing thousands of its inhabitants so like what portion of the pump pompeii population during we dining exact numbers they found the remains for about fifteen hundred. People in pan am which is another city that was buried by the eruption of mount serious. But that's not every single body that is very there that will be many those that they will probably never find just alexa writings. They will still find. And also obviously that's going to be people who died whose bodies were found and taken away out the time so that also evacuation attempts at the time so a lot of people would have gotten away the time or would have pain not necessarily in the city but somewhere in the surrounding countryside but still would have been killed in their option But if you are actually in the city robin and unpopular air in the countryside. You won't find those people. Were they like death. Toll records the time. not that. i'm aware of them might have been like we. Just don't have them. I mean we may even have them. As i said i didn't have time to look into everything in depth as i would have normally so there may be death toll records but as far as i understand that we can't put a number on archaic conveniently As historians wanted to people who was nearby when the option took place was the reimann. Radha plenty of the younger. He was staying in the nearby town of my seen him and he provided an eyewitness account of what happened while his family was fleeing the eruption he writes. I turned around and so i think black cloud advanced the land behind us like a flood. The darkness spread over us but it was not the darkness of mainly cloudy night but it was just as if the lamps had been put out on a completely closed room. we could hear women's shrieking children crying and men shafting are calling for that parents that children all that lives and trying to recognize them by the voices many begged for the help of the gods but even more imagined that they weren't god's left and that the loss of channel night had fallen on the world. I could bias that. I never expressed any fear at this time but i was. I kept going by the constellation that the whole world was parish with me. That is so golf. Just like waco
Episode Fifty-One // [Redacted] It All DOWN!!!
"Its little as much as you can and every tear hazar award so even if you donate a dollar you get shot out from us on our social media if you donate like five bucks get early access to episodes as well as an extended version of the episodes so yeah consider joining a again. The link is an our description. And i would specifically like to give a shoutout to dare. C. t. niimi kathleen. Daly are elizabeth. Oh cynthia p monica am while the lupu. F christiane eveline p. and louder are thank y'all so much these are all the folks in our bb f a bff tier. So thank you so much much left. Your let's start the show bob three. Hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of bitter browns fans. I am one of your host driven. And i'm coming to you from los angeles and this is your other. Hosts cassandra coming to you from el paso texas winter state. The winter state with the best. The best senators the best governor and he could ask for. Yeah straight up. I too wish that my senator was zodiac killer but we cannot and kevin from the office of the same the luck. Yeah the luck. yeah. I love it. How have you been. And he's and he's a great father and he's been educated letting others are educating the ways in which ted cruz. I just want to add pictures of ted cruz to the educated latina target. He's so great. I love him Sarcasm i can't believe people at one point thought. It was a tinkerer. Those people are like Anna trump supporter. And on that. I believe in the national anthem. And that. I'm a man posing as a woman on instagram and so on and so forth or did she knows that like the name chickens once upon a time. And they're like oh. This is a very serious page for me. Hint cassandra peraza. I know of humor. They have no understanding of sarcasm like comedy to them as george lopez on his comedy specials like them. Yeah yeah bet. How are you better today than i have been for like the last year. I mean know that since the beginning of the year this year this year. Yeah does he has been broth But yeah no. I'm okay i am. I walk up before two pm today. So please clap thank you. I'm gonna find clapping effect and add it as well we fx. I know that must step a bar game anyway. What are we talking about. how have you been. I have been Good i've been in a good mood. Actually i know. I think they said that last time and it was still query season so i think all season was really good to me and i'm still in a good mood Despite it being pisces season. Which i don't really care for Even though i have been like emotional. So i'm like damn you pisces but I was gonna make a joke about season but then people just take my jokes too seriously and pisces already sensitive and so i was like. Whoa astrologers astrology. The new frontier oppression like. Let's just put that out there if you made fun of a group that is being leo. Yeah pisces slow. Big yeah yeah You know capricorn monistic. Or whatever like you're antequera. Sentiment is not accepted here like yeah no. I've been good. I've been i've been in a good mood like a beat. I guess and then all the should happen last week. That was just like and no obviously not not good vibes at all. But i don't know if you're ready to get into that. I guess if you're done talking about how you've been we can get into it. I mean because like i haven't really. I've been good. That's i mean you've been snowed and technically having you know no so okay. So last week on valentine's day
Emmanuel Ortiz of Nerd Caliber Minisode Interview
"Hey everyone has it going. This is ashley i just wanted to do. A quick warning ahead of time. We talk about something that happened to me in europe. Comecon i use the term assault. Essentially sm- shit went down and we're going to bring it up but it comes wade into the thing and it comes out of nowhere so i just wanted to prep you for that. That said we also while trying to talk about trans issues because emmanuel is a wonderful sis ally but is of a hard time figuring out exactly how to state the thing that he needs to state as far as trans issues. There is a little bit of what i will call this stumbling and to me. It is charming and cute and funny because annual is amazing person. It has been an amazing friend to me. But for for those of you who maybe don't know emmanuel it might come off a little strange so i wanted you to know that ahead ahead of time so that you could prepare for listening to this without further ado. Here is my good friend emmanuel. And i chatting out two months ago i wanna say is it. Transphobic will be addressing issues of transphobia and transmission. Ogoni we may also address issues of racism. Classism able ism and various other intersectional issues in this podcast so this is a trigger warning. The panelists on is it. Transphobic will also use strong language so listener discretion is advised. Hello everyone thank you so much for listening to these transphobic podcast. My name is ashley lauren. Rogers and i use she her in day then pronouns and today i'm being joined by my name's he minorities. I am the founder of narc caliber. Us he him pronounce and thank you very much for inviting me to podcast absolutely so emmanuel. We've been having a lot of conversations with a lot of different people including trans nonbinary artists as well as this allies what what brings you here like what. What tell me. A little bit about nerd caliber. Tell me a little bit about what you do. Why do i asked you everything. All at the worst thing to tell me everything about what makes us caliber is third lifestyle magazine. That's why i've always called. It is pretty much on the term that i created so that pretty much i could just do whatever they want that but i what i the idea of is that we do feature kospi We've talked about new york fashion. But i we try to every once in a while to talk about social issues in in in pop culture and then we talk about like other. We reviewed things contract. Look at a look at it at a critical lens at points. You know from everything movies tv and so forth. I started it about little over ten years ago. Because at the time i didn't see any good representation of what i thought should be out there from media and i just kept seeing the same things over and over again so i wanted to do interviews in a way that that i never seen really does i i wanna. I wanna really introspective Deep questions and i feel like no one's there wasn't much of that also. I didn't see too many people of color really out there at the time when especially when when cuss play was becoming big showing pretty much. A lot of like you know mostly like white people. We'll see mostly. Yeah and i was like okay. This more out there and i same thing with artists writers in the beginning we try. Look for like a. Poc accomplished writers and artists and try to infuse interview down. Same people photographers at the beginning of that worked with us. I try to find people of color that took photography photography at conventions. And i wanted to work with them and so forth the near the reason why another reason why dinner cal was because i had a really bad experience at the time i was. I was doing freelance market volunteering. Work for at the time to with little different combat museums to trying to become the museum. And then i think mocha eventually became became that at the end but before that happened i remember there was different ones that there was. I have two at different ones. Just because at the time. Had this becoming accomplished rider. And i wanted to get to know people and i remember once. This was at a time where i was getting a lot of like graphic design work to do and that was that was great. I got to meet like mike. Nola creative hell boy. That was a great experience albarracin experience but a great experience embarrassing. How if you don't mind me asking told someone like well. Like i really liked this friday work and it was a it was a it was hell boy. The first will be came out right before it came out. And i was like oh. I'm so excited about it. And i was at a party like a kohl's parties like okay premiere party. You know and i was there. And i was doing my networking thing and then i was telling someone i actually. Whoever should became president mocha later on but he was a real nice guy and he. I told him i would love to meet. Backman dole. Such a big fan of his. And then that sapir five minutes. Whatever you know. I may know. And then he comes back to me as it touched my shoulder. Hey mike nola prepared tried not to freak out. You should have sent me a text saying coming back. With mike noah weird i work out. Thank you love. That marvel comics to doctor. Strange and doctor doom all. Yeah yeah. i didn't really right that. I just drew that. Oh okay well. Thank you
After Show: Tom of Finland & the queer legacy of Glee
"This is a lip media podcast. We acknowledge the traditional line is of the land on which we are recording. We pay our respects to the elders possum prison and the aboriginal out of other communities who may be listening today. We'll welcome to our after show. Thanks for the cash we really disparate. He's one of the things we've been talking about spending money on for a while is getting some merged together to sell asking for match so i'm very excited to tell you just between a squirrel frail that we very very very shortly will be releasing new rains of march. We're releasing traumatic stress. I didn't read instead of carl's face on the front doesn't want my face while But yeah. I thought. I'm kind of surprised. We haven't talked about this before thomas finland. Are you guys familiar. I'm familiar with tom of collingwood where he lived and place to a finish accent. I didn't know what if we did that kind of like. This is how bad this is like. This is where i'm from. Yeah your lawn in white. Well yeah. I'm looking for any of our listeners. That have no idea what i'm talking about. When i say toma finland i guarantee you would have seen He's worked before it's those often black and white drawings of very emasculate usually man. I'm quite often with a big bowed in their pants. Usually topless quite often uniforms or cut off denim People probably associated with the eighties because of the style by. You could almost argue that. The artwork influence the style of the eighties of gay coach. When the rather than the other way around sailors brings the sailors police hats and like leather shops and things But i never really knew the history of in fact the first time i ever source i think of twenty guys about how when i was like seventeen s off to the Was called the gay bookshop elegant when we have a mecca in melbourne. And i don't think but it was. It was just basically a porn shop but at the front had this little i frame and on the frame is tom of finland characters. I'd woke pacific. Means is apparently going shopping or whatever. But yet when i was like seventeen i snuck out of hyman like made up as to different people about where i was known with court training into south. Yarra enza winning there So yeah that was right. Nifty some of the first gay icon. Gr- iconography angry at i ever So and then. When i saw that it was the A couple of weeks ago would have been his hundredth birthday. What am i be interested interesting. Anything about the history of it. Oh yeah i knew him is finland but he is actually like someone staying and his owns braces mine. Everything reading about him was very cool. Yeah well. I always seem that he was. I guess in his twenties in the eighties. Yeah because i've always associated his work with that time. So i was quite surprised because actually obviously born in nineteen twenty in finland and of course that means grew up in nazi europe sexual experiences where with german soldiers which he sort of has hinted towards a lot of people who've have saved is probably to with his fetish for men in uniforms because of a lot of his imagery even included nazi uniforms as well as other various uniforms. I think like you said Silence before yeah yeah. I remember reading that he. He drew people even in nazi uniforms. And he said it wasn't anything political but it was just purely based on how they look at. Uniforms are heart so my say that back. You're you're right. You're right kyle. He was very clear to he despised nazi ideology. But he's he's outlook was all about male intimacy in a lot of his experiences. When he was young had been waste with many nazi uniform. Nazi's enunciate uniforms side. Just say if you're a man in uniform. Google the spanish army you will thank me llama Uniforms i wish he was around to do some of the Thought i suppose take locked. Take okay now. I say anything. I found really interesting. Was that his depiction of all these gay. Men was sorry like beefy and muscular and strong and it was because he was trying to flip gay people's image on its head because so many people knew gay guys is a really weak and like thin and I don't know just like we image. Eddie yeah so. I like i like that. He decided to be like fuck you and yeah. It was rebellious and he drew these big powerful strong muscular men. It was it was really cool of you. See a lot of the only depictions of game and a lot of people saw where three things like at that time avoid vile and feel like old films and cartoons. And that's the thing and quite often you'd have the camp villain in his fifties films or you know his early childhood the vocabulary emplyees. Oh yeah the the evil villains in the cartoons that would always be long and slender and very disney able villain So yeah it was really interesting way to rebel against that. And i guess the he decided. Nah actually my sexual experiences have been like this. And the he also did a lot of leather stuff and a lot of bacchus stuff which resonate at coach and coincidentally. That coach was taking off a lot after world war. Two and so a lot of other game that wanted to rebel against this depiction. that had been Sort of depiction. That had been promoted of them. Joined the despite. He coach this leather coat. Show which again. Sort of pout. He's out which propelled the coach. Which propelled the oddest of self-propelling. Kind of guess propelling prophecy. Oh interesting and i did know about these magazines but he was in them. Have you heard of the beefcake magazine. Yes i didn't really know about them. But i'm they were clinging. Sorry yes cookbooks. I've actually got one. I'll show you. It's fast so it was when they weren't allowed to print gay porn so they did these fitness magazines under the guise of the main like in the fifties and sixties under the guise of them being Health magazines oh muscle greyhounds melting. The dow just mainly pictures of scantily clad muscles and they have men's health now so a lot of stuff was getting annoyed that he's getting printed was in those magazines and it was more bad. He's instead of you know the the images ripley more familiar with men grabbing their cox. And that's the thing is more muscular men sort of doing stretches and exercising not necessarily being as as a very sexual ending the seventies when they wear. Let's stop printing that stuff Started creating a lot more erotic sort of comic books and Exhibiting a lot of stuff in mainstream exhibitions. Which is i think. Pretty incredible defined that. It's nell like so mainstream this like such an anuron rebellious yet. Finland was like crocheted. Unlike a pillow cover always ones on pillows. it's it's girl who thinks he's really like that she just loves guy is cheap. That allows guys. That hasn't had one of those i have. I have like a really distinct memory of atonement. Finland print when i first moved to melbourne. It was the day before my birthday. So i was like. You know what. I'm going out on my birthday even though don't have any friends when i would like to people and we went to the peel for the first time and the peel has one behind the baugh like on the plane department as you walk in. Yeah i'm gonna steam. It's unoriginal probably not. I mean you really distinct memory of standing at the baa looking at this picture and being like wow they do it. Differently and melvin. Like kobe was like this is awesome sitting there thinking like god.
"Honky dave. How are you my friend. I mean look between doubling up on the wellbutrin and welcoming a new twelve year old gentleman named lincoln into our house. Okay baby let's just say. My spirits are soaring. There is a brand new dog in the mccarthy grassy household. His name is lincoln. He is a dream boat. I cannot wait to touch his head house. He settling in how is he. Has he found his special spot in the sun. He's a dream. His special spot is wherever he be less than six feet from us. He is opposite of a social distancing. I wouldn't have ease desperate for affection. Love much like me. Wouldn't have it any other way. Look we're trying to do a short intro today. So i should have been brought up because i could do this for two hours. Oh my god this is the thing you have to open your heart backup to this thing. It is painful and it's and it's unfamiliar at first but it is absolutely the right thing to do. and it's you know phase irreplaceable. But there is now a whole new room in your heart and soul. A brand new dog holds the key to true. There are some very dark days. And i feel like Feeling a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks in large part to our sweet sweet lincoln. Lincoln was his name before we got him. Feel like he's live with it for twelve years. let him keep it. Keep it whatever your opinions are about as my friend. Nigel said we're focusing on the freed. The slaves and the was possibly gay aspect of lincoln and other stuff. We're just putting over there. I think that's wise. I think that's very wise. Yeah i i love him. Congratulations congratulations thank. You how are you. I'm great i'm great. I'm good things are things are my mom. Got her first vaccine on monday. So things are beginning to maybe slowly creep back to life. I'm getting a lot of those calls from friends who were like. Go to lake elsinore. There's a community center there that always has extra doses bag mid afternoon or whatever like gone up to riverside her or like i got. I got a picture from a friend who was standing in line at the stubhub center because at the end of the day sometimes they have leftover doses house. I got to fucking dystopia for me to be like sitting and find that empty sports stadium with a mask on my face wedding waiting to get the the the antidote for the thing. That's killing people to children of men. I actually i wrote a thing for my For an escort column where he talked to a medical ethicist about whether like what the ethical thing is to do when you get these sorts of costs like what what is the move and this guy was. A jesuit. priest is jesuit priest and a medical ethics professor and as such he did not give me a clear. Yes or no answer which was frustrating. He he leans towards no he. Frowns on doing it. Because it encourages an unjust system in which distribution systems that have been thought about and carefully constructed which are different from state to state and county to county. And so it's correct. Be a little confused and bewildered by but there is implementation. Notwithstanding there was some thought that went into how these things are supposed to go so so jumping the line is ethically dicey and so because of that. I'm gonna not do it so we're and were probably a month away from they're not being this not being questioned of the allocation of scarce resources like we'll have new supply and things will be fine and in the meantime i have the privilege of working from home. So gonna keep on. Look i'm holding off. I'm getting all of those leads on vaccines too. I'm sending a lot of them to your way and off on doing it for all the reasons you just mentioned but i also feel like you're in a different situation a little bit but not really. I'm type one diabetic. Which is a co morbidity in some states benign california. And i'm in good health and it's it is controlled and i'm you know i am. I have the privilege of working from home. So i'm not I'm not gonna probably do it. I will say this. I've been raring to go right to get back to normal and to be in like in a studio with you doing this again. I did nick vials. Podcast on monday bachelor owes a dream. It was so much fun. He's super handsome. And nice and charming and it. It sounds like he's chewing on something every time he talks about that. But but he's he's great and And it's like listen to buy a bazillion people and so it's whatever but i was. He was like we do it in the studio. And it's you know when they spray everything down before and after and we won't be anywhere near each other and you know. Come down. And i was so ready to do it and then i had anxiety all weekend long like panic level anxiety about it and i had to be honest and say you know what. Let's do this from home. So god anyway the vile files. Give it a listen. That's lincoln and the vile files. Those are are hot tips for the week on. That's right oh and over the moon. Of course watch over the moon on netflix. Beautiful animated movie starring our guest for this week the the dazzling the iconic the legend recounting champion returning champion. Home of your favorite margaret. Cho and