Addiction and Sobriety
Listen to the latest on recovery, addiction, rehabilitation and substance abuse. Compiled to inspire and strengthen your sobriety. Aired from leading talk radio shows and premium podcasts.
A highlight from 157: Personality Isnt Permanent with Benjamin Hardy
"And I wanted to let you know since it was the holiday last week. It was practicing a little bit of self care and decided to take a week off and I'm reposting this old episode. One of my favorites by Benjamin hardy, personality isn't permanent. What I love about this episode is it can remind us all that we can change and we can make a difference in our lives and manifest that change and be who we want to be a little bit of work. But very, very doable. So thank you for listening and I hope you enjoy this recast. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the addicted mind podcast. We are on to episode a 102. My name is Dwayne Australian and I'm your host and our guest today is Benjamin hardy. He is the author of several books, one of them is willpower does not work, and he is also the author of his upcoming book, which is personality isn't permanent. And so on today episode, I talk with Benjamin about how we can actively pursue the change process and why it is really important for us to be able to see our former self and our current self and our future self as distinct individuals in a way and how that can help us frame our goals and make meaning out of all of our experiences and facilitate the change process. So Benjamin really goes into a lot of details and gives some practical information that we can do now in the current moment to make some of the changes we want. So I really enjoyed the conversation with Benjamin. He's just so generous in sharing his story and sharing his knowledge and just really enjoyed talking with him. And so I hope you enjoy this episode as well. So before we start the episode, don't forget, rate and review us in iTunes that really does help get the addicted mind a lot of exposure or share the podcast with a friend. I'd really appreciate it. And don't forget, you can also join our Facebook group. Just go to Facebook and type in the addicted mind podcast, click join and continue the conversation online. All right, let's start this episode. Hello everyone, welcome to the addicted mind podcast. My guest today is Benjamin hardy and he is going to talk about his upcoming book, personality isn't permanent, and Benjamin, I'm excited to have you on the show. I really want to talk about as we were talking about earlier talking about science based change. So before we do that, you want to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your story? Yeah, absolutely, man. Yeah, I guess the beginning of it really or at least the major kind of huge event that started my journey was my parents getting divorced at age 11. And I came from a background where my parents were kind of a religious family. And when my parents got divorced, that stopped being a big part of our life at all. But my father was so torn up by the addiction in the depression of it all, that he ended up becoming an extreme drug addict actually. Wow. Yeah, I know he was. It was intense, man. I mean, our house became literally a crazy place filled with drug addicts. There was anything and everything you could think of out in the open. Really interesting for me to see. My dad was a hero to me. He was also like a really successful guy. And it just kind of really threw him down. You know, he was an attorney and he was just really was interesting to watch. And this kind of experience lasted. I was age 11, the oldest of three boys. It lasted until I was around 19 or 20. I have no clue how I graduated from high school. You know, when I was the oldest of three and I was kind of suppressing everything that was going on and ultimately, we shut out my dad and my mom was living apartment to apartment, just trying to she was actually trying to run a health club with her sister, like a small business. And so she was just kind of go, go, go. You just had zero stability. And my younger brother ended up dropping out of high school. He tried joining the marines. He ended up actually getting kicked out. I ended up 19, I was living at my cousin's house on his couch, playing World of Warcraft all day, doing nothing. And just was incredibly unhappy. Victor frankel, who wrote the book man search for meaning, he talks a lot about in that book. And he's referencing the Holocaust, but he talks about how when a person loses hope and purpose for their future, the present becomes meaningless. And that was kind of where I was at. I didn't really have too much hope or purpose for my life. And so my life was very meaningless. I was just my purpose may have been to get to the next level on World of Warcraft. It was not creating an enormous amount of meaning in my life. And so I ultimately connected back with my faith. I ended up serving a church mission for a few years, totally changed my life, exposed myself to a lot of things, read a lot of books. I saw a lot of people helped a lot of people did a crazy amount of journaling. I reconnected with my dad. He ended up overcoming a lot of his addictions while I was on that experience. We've since become amazing Friends. So you have a lot of this personal experience with addiction and kind of the chaos that comes with all of that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My life was chaos for a long time, man. I mean, I was 11 year old boy, and I had zero stability. You know, there's capital T trauma and there's lower T trauma.
A highlight from 184: Celebrating Your Sobriety and Recovery: How to Do It Without Relapsing.
"Where is this year going? Everything is going so fast so fast. I hope you all are doing well. The end of the year is coming upon us and there is so much good stuff I think happening on the horizon. I'm going to jump right in today and share something funny with you that is totally off mental wellness topic. Not totally off. What am I saying? This is about laughter. And every once in a while, I think many of us get locked and loaded into some of these video diaries that people do. Oh my gosh, wasting so many hours on this very funny woman in her family, the diaries. This is a very funny woman from West Virginia. I'm pretty sure West Virginia. And her daily follies, I don't know if you've heard of her, but I'm going to give a quick shout out. She has been part of my life for only one week. I can't stop thinking in a southern accent in a very heavy southern accent. So go check her out. No skin in the game in regards to her life, but her diary has brought me some chuckles. And I think we can all use that at any time. Instead of the news, okay, a couple of things I want to talk about today, the topic of the day, which I will get to in a bit, but very important, I'm gonna cover because this seems to be a hole a hole. A blind spot in so many people's recovery. I'm not sure why, but I ask people this question all the time and it's probably super annoying. What is your relapse prevention plan? It only takes a few minutes to memorize the most important components of a relapse prevention plan and why is it important? Because it's the foundation of staying sober. Every day, especially in early recovery, is defined by how well you do relapse, prevention planning. And what does that entail? If you haven't heard before, I'm going to give you a list of things that you can remember very short list, a four things to put on your relapse prevention plan and to use so write these things down, replay them if you must, but you can also Google relapse prevention plan and get a plethora of information on how to write one, how to have certain things at the ready no matter where you go and hear are those things. Number one who will be there who will be at the party who will be at the gathering. Is there anyone there who will try to compromise your sobriety, meaning is there anyone there that you drank heavily with before? And then ask yourself who can go with me that supports my sobriety, having this be part of your plan who's going to be there and if I don't have enough support there with me, who can go with me? Really important stuff. Number two, what will I say when someone offers me a drink? What will I do and say when someone offers me a drink? What will I order to drink while I am there? Having this locked in loaded may seem minutiae, but it's very important. Number three, where is the event? Where is the party? Is it an environment? I can handle at this time. Be very honest with yourself. If you are three weeks sober, I'm not gonna recommend that you go to a bunch of Christmas parties or holiday parties, or events that are gonna trigger your use, return to use. So is it an environment you can actually handle? And what I mean by handle, are you going to feel uncomfortable, you do not have to test this part of your life. Especially in the first several months, go easy on yourself. You can attend things next year for real. It'll still be there. In another part of this third thing to have on your relapse prevention plan is how am I going to get home in case I feel uncomfortable at any time. I drive myself. What if I need to leave is a question I always ask myself? It doesn't matter how long I've been in recovery. How long I've been sober. In the fourth extraordinarily important thing, know your triggers what are the possible relapse triggers? What is my escape plan if I feel that trigger kicking in, which is leading me to a craving, which then leads me to the urge, which is when I find myself with a drink in my hand, no matter what the event or occasion know that you always have the right to go home. You can go home if you feel uncomfortable, upset or tempted. Nobody cares as much as we do. All right, that's all the time I'm gonna spend on that today. Please, please. Always have in mind your prevention plan. My second topic for today is celebrating. I want all of us to embrace celebrating sober and in no small part that means to celebrate your not drinking. To celebrate your not using to celebrate the fact that you are focusing on healthier relationships instead of enmeshment or codependency, focus on the fact that you're getting home from work earlier because you're because you're working hard on not returning to the workaholism that you've been practicing for years and years. Celebrating your milestones while you're doing this is vitally important to keeping your motivation healthy and strong. Understanding that when you make the choice for change in your life and have decided that you no longer want this to happen and then you actually make the steps toward that goal, it does not matter if you've made some steps backwards. You still get to celebrate. In fact, it's imperative to celebrate. Sobriety and recovery may be a lifelong journey for some of us or for you or someone that you love. But that doesn't mean you can not
A highlight from Listener Calls
"Doctor pinsky, Twitter at Dr. Drew and also TikTok at Dr. Dre tried to do some live pods there. Live, what do you call them Sessions, I guess. And also doctor a TV we're doing live streaming shows mostly Tuesday Wednesday Thursday but sometimes we mix it up throughout the week, but at least three times a week we're getting on there with very interesting guest. As I said today, we are just going to be doing your calls. So let's get right to it. This is Sam. Sam what's going on? Uh oh. Hold on. There you are. Sand what's up? Hey, how are you doing, doctor Marley? Good, mommy. What's up, jeans? Hey, so I have a brown question. It's kind of weird. It's been happening to me a lot lately and I've been wanting to ask you. So whenever I go Brown my nose starts running, it's every single time. Not to blow my nose. Interesting. Have you ever heard of that? I mean, nose blowing and nasal congestion is a funny thing. People, it's a product of our autonomic nervous system, right? Something causes the vessels in our surface of our nose to dilate, and that dilation causes fluid to come out and that's what you're blowing out. And that vaso dilatation can be caused by lots of different things for some people at sexual arousal for some people it's urinating for some people's defecating. It's just a leftover function when you learn how to control your bowels probably that there was some sort of honor. Your body had a reaction to it in some way. And or maybe it's just part of your wiring. Maybe it doesn't even develop. Maybe it's just that that's your wiring. It doesn't mean anything. It really does it. It could be a nuisance, like a yacht, a lot of people get it with sexual arousal or orgasm and it sort of they start sneezing and things and it can be unpleasant for the partner or something they want to try to control. But nothing, it's good browning. Good browning, my friend. It's all good. All right, well, I appreciate it. Thanks, Sam. And what Sam was talking about, calling me a mommy and all that is that your mom's house where I have a podcast called doctor drift argument. I'm going to check it out. It's also a YouTube. You get that you can find on doctor dot com. And we have a lot of fun over there. I swear to God, the booth boys and I have been getting it on quite interestingly. And I just went down to Austin this last week and had a bunch of reunions, so here we go. Are you guys in a real studio yet or is it still in Annie's living room? It's sort of extra bedroom. But I like that. I like the cake. You know, I like chaos. Sure. And so a million followers on YouTube and we're doing it out of the guys. But they're all moved down there. And it has a beautiful house, by the way. It's not an apartment. It's a really nice house. Okay. And they've done a great job setting up the studio, but it's clearly fly by night and we have a handwritten sign behind me. Yeah. But I've seen it. It's an interesting look. It's just I guess what I'm sitting here is a listener kind of confused by and I'm sure Tom, I could send Tom off a ledge if I were to bring this up. But I thought the whole point of moving to Texas, people don't fuck with you. How is it so hard to build a studio? It has something to do with where they're building and I think in the city. They're building an Ian Austin. Okay. And you're right. People that he's having more trouble with the construction than he expected. I don't know if it might be even like materials and things. Now, that would make sense, but the way he's playing it off on the podcast is as though it's a regulatory problem. I know, I know. I'm a short pissed him off. I'm confused as a California. It seems appealing to me to flee to a state where no one's going to fuck with me. And then I hear about these people trying to do it. And they have all the money in the world. Yes. And I will tell you, there is no masks in Texas. Yeah. Except visiting Californians and New Yorkers. Oh, your mind drew. You don't have to go to Texas. Come down to our county. It is on. That's why we that's why we hide out down there. But it is interesting how this mask thing has become a social phenomenon, not a medical issue at all. Oh, it's a virtue signaling, I'm a good person type of thing. It seems. It's weird. Yeah, it's a different world down in Orange County. There's a 30 miles. There was a great study. I haven't talked about on this podcast. We're a Stanford researcher, looked at Stanford students, riding bicycles. I think I talked about this. You talked about it on a and D, which is essentially revealed 20% helmet wearing, 60% mask wearing. Outdoors riding a bike with let's just state the facts. Zero probability of COVID transmission outdoors riding a bike. Zero row. This virus does not move through a moving air. It can't. And so zero probability, high probability in your head riding a bike. And yet the smartest students in the country are over there, just biking away, we're in their masks. Good times. I went right in the other day and somebody recoiled for me because I didn't have a mask on. That is that's not science everybody. And by the way, the whole notion of follow the science, I think that's a misguided notion. Science is a discourse. It's a dialog. It's not the interpretation of science as a social phenomenon. It's not science. Let me talk to Sam. Sam what's going on?
Healing Early Trauma Through Somatic Experiencing and Brainspotting
"Let's talk a little bit about what semantic experience in. It is because a lot of people listening. That term doesn't have meaning so explain that a little bit because i think it's important of what we're gonna talk about your book and some of the things you say in your book to really know what that is. Sure sir let me talk about fanatic experiencing and grant spotting together because even though they're different modalities. they're really both trauma. Healing modalities at focus on nervous system regulation. And when i say that what i mean is let me give you an example dwayne. So let's say you're on the freeway and somebody cuts wasch. Oftentimes what happens in our nervous system. Is we go into either fights or flight right we can either yet range full or we completely shut down. It depends on our particular nervous system. Now one of the keys to regulating the nervous system is knowing when we're this regulated right so at this regulation would be something like rage or panic or hyper-vigilance something like that which is what we might call a regulation or it could be something in the other direction like a down regulation which is disconnection dissociation depression shutting down etc.
Brits Drinking in France With Mandy Manners
"Let's talk about drinking. shall we let some. i think you like minneapolis. He started drinking as a teenager. I mean how old were you when you. How do i drink. Ooh this is nice. Well interestingly. I didn't like it when i fast drank I started young probably like fourteen. I think tried it Probably end of primary schools. Eleven twelve know very much. A kind of mischievous kid you from the fourteen kind of regularly binge drinking the weekends in the park Making weed as well and you know quickly progress of kind of recreational drugs as well as a young person and it was at that time. I said i didn't like it because i didn't like being out of control. So lay like yeah. I didn't like how it changed. People used to make me quite angry at that time. Even at that point. I so self identified like i stopped drinking white wine when i was probably like fifteen until i was like twenty because it made me really angry so i think i had a kind of conscious awareness of this thing but i you know so desperately wanted to be liked and to belong. The you know any kind of reasoning. That it probably wasn't a good idea of family per on the back burner. But yeah i mean i didn't really it. Drinking didn't really become a problem for me until after i had my kids Before that you know it was kind of. I mean it was matic like i was binge drinking you know. I mean we used do horrible things like you know. Make us sick so we could drink more just and that was very much. Just kinda normalized nine hundred british culture just like gang apps like you know those kind of. Let's get wasted. Let let's get bothered. Let the language around it was just like let's get out of our heads. Let's get completely you know gone
Interview With Dennis Berry of Funky Brain Podcast
"Let's take a minute and welcome dennis berry to the show. Hi dennis how are you. Oh so awesome. Everything's really great. I'm happy beer and talk with you again. 'cause you're a bundle of energy funny because i'm such an introvert. I do like connecting with people. Though i do enjoy like having some people time i just appreciate that. It's in my house in our houses. All houses right so take a minute and tell everybody a little bit about you in what you do. I am a life. Nasseri coast mostly addiction recovery but work with couples of loving relationship stuff just high performance health and wellness. All around stuff. And i've been since a sobriety thing had been sober for eighteen years until i in the beginning they said you know what you need to be of service and i was like. I don't have time to be of service but now i've set my life up to help people not have to suffer the same way i did or for his long amen to that so talk to me. Eighteen years sober. What was your path to sobriety. I think when we say eighteen years sober. It's kind of obvious. But what did you do to get sober and It was a long time coming. You know just like everybody else. I want people know like when you see somebody has long term sobriety like if you look at me or you you see these late you know happy healthy successful. People that are smiling. But we don't see is the dozens and dozens or even hundreds of failed attempts leading up to that moment.
Pregnancy and Addiction With Dr. Charles Schauberger
"And today my guest is charles. Shaw burger and he is an obgyn and a doctrine addiction medicine. And we're going to talk about a topic. That i don't know is talked about a lot out there or there might not be a lot of resources about it. We're gonna talk about pregnancy and addiction and charles. I'm so thankful that you reach out to me and wanted to come onto the podcast. Because i think this is a topic that Like i said earlier just might not be out there and there might not be a lot of resources about it with. Thank you dwayne. I have enjoyed your podcast for probably the last year. Urine a half. And you're correct. I have not seen or heard many podcasts. In the addiction world that relate to the subject of pregnancy and re patient with substance use disorder. So i appreciated the opportunity to bring this discussion to the public and help to answer questions. Perhaps and to compete in a better frame of reference when it comes to understanding how the two interact awesome. So i i wanna just know a little bit about your story and how you got into this field as an obgyn and specifically working with people who are struggling with substance use disorder. And how kind of came together for you walls Interesting question and i think my journey is relatively first of all so many people in my profession do have a personal history of addiction. But i have been blessed to have not had to take that course and i have no personal addiction Other than maybe that sugar addiction which was mentioned a couple of weeks ago.
The Happy Brain With Loretta Breuning PhD
"So let's let's dive into alcohol little bits. Can you explain what goes on in our brain when we become depend on. Alcohol mean for most of us some the people i work with. We started off his social drinkers in our twenties in office. No problems and then. By the time we got to our forties or fifties we were. We moved more into self-medication using it to manage all stress to relax so when we tried to cut down we found. We couldn't so that seems to be a very average story for for a woman have fifty sixty these days. So what's going on in our brain so everyone needs to manage stress. Our brain naturally creates a lot of stress because that kept our ancestors alive. So we're always alert for potential threats and we defined threats with neural pathways from whatever triggered your cortisol in the past so in the past whatever hurt you ever upset you whether it was big or small the chemical that was released connected neurons that turn on the chemical more easily today. So we're all challenge to find ways to manage the stress and the interesting fascinating thing is would ever worked when you were young that built a pathway. I came from sort of unhappy home and my father is given a free trip so all of a sudden my parents who never left home they were like traveling now. There are very fearful so that when they travel like they didn't leave the hotel much but is it came addicted to traveling. Because that was what i learned was like. Oh when you feel bad. You start researching a trip. I worked to save money for trip as soon as i took the trip. I focused on the next trip. So whenever i was upset about anything i focused on travelling at work.
How to Find the Right Mentor and Why Its a Game Changer
"I'm going to share something with you. That isn't a secret at all. The thing that has helped me thrive in my recovery business building fitness journey digital ceo hood All of that. The thing that has helped thrive has been working with a mentor. Whenever i'm working through something. I immediately turned to my mentor or coach. In one thing i know now is when i have to make big changes in my life. I have to get connected to other people who are doing the same thing. I have to link arms with and be connected to people who are facing the same challenges and working through them if nothing else to be reminded where all in this together also a mentor is someone who shows up in their life. The way you want to show up in your life and you can count on them to show up with you. And lastly from more than fifteen years in recovery and slowly working through a ton of issues and character defects. I know from experience that mentors are essential to my success. No matter if you're just getting started or if you're well into your journey and enjoying some sober success. I believe you always need a mentor. Or if you're like me. Many of them so mentors are equally important for me today as they were on day. One and just to make sure you're with me here. A mentor is someone who has already walked the path before you
Stop Hiding and Start Healing With Craig Brown
"So break introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about your story and how you got there. You got the book. All of that stuff. Appreciate the invite. Thank you for having me my story. Short version. I grew up in the church. My dad was a minister. I had it. We grew up in a church. Family that i come to find out as i got older and became an adult and had to deal with some rather dysfunctional things. I looked back. I realized that it wasn't all what i thought it was at that time but as children you just don't know you know any different but Yeah i had. I had to be as a as ministers kid a similar to other professions. I had to be on all the time out of my family. Look good dad look good. It was just a ton of pressure from my sisters and i to be in that kind of environment and always have to kind of fake. It and you know what i saw from the pulpit from my dad was entirely lot different than what i saw at home. He had a lot of demons lot. Struggles things you know. And some took him out on us. You know as as children and so at a very young age i had learned coping mechanisms and skills and escape plans. And everything else to deal with that. What i was going through. Sharpeville didn't have a real good nurturing emotional mental spiritual development. You know Because of that and for the last twenty two years i've been serving others who have very similar backgrounds and it's very hard to find Someone that had a real nurturing caring loving parents that invested in them and just you know supported them and gave them their own identity. Very hard to find very hard to find. My parents were very old school much older than most of the parents at that time. But i just grew up in that environment and it was a fun of armagh to be in but little did i know that everything our whole purpose was to make daddy look good and in seemed be that way for a very long time and then once i got the highschool drinking socially searching just looking searching his good athlete but i had this huge voided in how many mission purpose of controls of discipline so when it came time to go to college man. I was out
My Basket of Tools - With Robyn Denny
"Begun. All conversation by asking robbins introduce herself first of all. I'd like to sam. I'm really excited to be here. Janet because tribe. Soba is something i believe in with my whole being and i think it's extraordinary work that you're doing. I am an artist. A painter and a filmmaker I'm also a mother of two daughters. Who i'm nine and ten i'm a wife sista and most importantly i'm a person trying to come home to myself to come hooked part within me. That's in with all of us. That is actually okay. In some kind of homeo- stasis and then from that point to share whatever small bits of wisdom. I have with the rest of the world. That's it so beautiful. Introduction woman thanking. Let's let's delve into those drinking day following the gory details acid me federal. How old were you when you had. I drink flits go back. Well points knowing that i would speak to you today. I actually mapped out a time line because as you know some of it's quite blurry but i think i started drinking quite seriously In my final school from seventeen to twenty
How to Avoid Loneliness, Cut out Boredom, & Have Fun
"You guys. I am so excited to do this. Episode in this is almost in its own way a part too because we had somebody from this organization on the show a longtime ago back in the very beginning like i think probably in my first twenty episodes maybe britney was on. And she was talking about the phoenix. Such a cool organization in today. We have scott strode with us. Who is the originator. i will call him. Hey scott thanks for coming on the show. Thank you so much for doing this with me. Thanks thanks for having me on. Why don't you take just a minute and let everybody know about you and what you do sure. So on on the executive director and the founder of the phoenix and the phoenix is a nonprofit that uses the inherent transformative power of activities and connection to help people who are healing from substance use disorder. So we use activities Such as yoga meditation outdoor activities cross fit boxing climbing whole bunch of things. They're all free Most of our active leaders are volunteer peers recovery or someone who's been touched by addiction in their life and there were all across the country we started in colorado but we're now in fifty five plus communities and just getting started and i'm i'm in recovery myself. This is a big part of my own journey to the to start moving my body and find a group of people who would rather get up at five in the morning and climbing mountain than stay up till five in the morning drinking and using
The Magic of Meditation With Lane Kennedy
"Janet. Good to be with you. I am coming from well today at the foggy day. Here in san francisco. Lovely kennedy said you've been cyber for a long long time. I thought i was doing well with my stick. Shitsu molten twenty as. Can you call your mind but to those drinking days than just tell us a bit about what was going on. Why did you decide stop yet. My drinking days were really fun. Like i mean it was fun. It was a good time. I lived a very glamorous life. I lived in los angeles and i was a part of the entertainment industry fashion industry. It was very fast paced. I drank with the who's who's list and it was always around always and it was normal. It was just well. Everyone's drinking so. I'm going to drink right. But what the the difference was is that they could get up in function in the morning where they could stop where i would drink until two i would get in the car and drink in the car They would get a taxi right. I didn't drink normally and the thing about my drinking is that i would drink and then i would put it on the shelf for a while and just kinda like get healthy. I'm really healthy. And so i would stop and so. I didn't think that my alcohol was a problem. Because i would be able to like just put it on the shelf and not drink for a week or two weeks and the minute that i would pick back up again i would be in a blackout or for the next time i would drink. I would be able to stop at like two glasses of wine. But then the next night i would pass blackout pass out
The Ultimate Recovery Recipe
"People look from the outside in at my recovery my lifestyle. They see a busy professional life. They see that. I have confidence and clarity in control of my lifestyle and some even say. They hope to have a similar lifestyle. One day well my friends. That's certainly didn't happen overnight. But over the years through so much trial and error. I feel like i've cracked the code. And now i'm spilling my secrets. On how i built my lifestyle so if you want to know how to thrive in your life and not just survive and you went to be clear about what needs to be done to move you forward you wanna feel in charge and you wanna make sure you absolutely love the life you create than this episode is for you because when it comes down to it. There's one thing i know you need to move to the top of your list. You may need to move this to the very top of your to do list to begin shifting toward a lifestyle that you love. It's your recovery recipe and i know that doesn't sound super exciting but hold up because i'm gonna flip that script for you today. I'm showing you just how important the recipe is whether you are two days into sobriety or fifteen years. People often ask me like angela. What's your secret and i always say. I live in die by routines
Sobriety and the Domino Effect - With Will Black
"So take his back to the alcohol years. What age were you on east also drinking and when did you start thinking it was. It was a bit of a problem absolutely. Yeah i guess. As far as in the states. I started a little later. I didn't start really drinking until i was eighteen and for me. It was really really immediately apparent. I had a problem first week. University or member blacking out right away and alcohol was very exciting very intoxicating but even then there was this sort of like shock of. Whoa what what happened last night. but it was. I mean it was really immediately. As i was going into school that i started having problems as far as really breaking a lot of my friendships. Really dealing with a lot of regret and remorse in the mornings But for me the one one really hard part of the journey was just not knowing how to live without it. Not really seeing any alternative to not drinking really from the gecko. I was trying to solve these issues whether that was blacking out or losing phone like my wallet. Losing losing losing everything so for years. I tried i tried moderating whether that was having a glass of water in between drinks limiting the number of drinks and ned having a big meal something like that
How a Sober Buddy Can Help With Lynne Brown
"My name is lyn I i live in london. I'm sixty four. I am married or have a husband and two grown-up stepsons and due to become a grandma berry time. Anytime soon which. I'm quite excited about. In terms of my contact with south africa i went in nineteen thousand ninety nine and basically fell in love with south africa's country And over the last twenty years. I visited very regularly for longer a longer stays since then And on my last reply. I hooked up with janet because in the uk. I was doing volunteer. Alcohol support work. And when i found the what was with the world without wine website I thought it'd be really good idea to connect with john. It and share experiences israeli so Hence why i'm here today glynn. Let's let's talk a bit about your your drinking history. Shelving sure yeah. I think i had the classic pattern of firm of teenage drinking in the uk. Growing up getting drunk from about sixteen on woods trying to hide it from our parents going out and getting drunk at university. Because that's what you did And then after university starting work and potting most friday nights and saturday nights the weekend.
Overcoming Addiction in the Restaurant Industry With Mickey Bakst
"All right everyone. Welcome to the addicted mind. Podcast my guest. Today is mickey faxed. And he's going to talk about a little bit about his own story. I think and a little bit about his community ben's friends and how that came to be and everything like that. So mickey please introduce yourself twain into pleasure to meet you and all audience and everybody out there. My name is making baxter's twain said. I am the co founder of an organization called ben's friends which was created to help struggling addicts in the food and beverage industry find sobriety. I am a forty seven year. Veteran of restaurants mostly high end fine dining. I am thirty eight years sober. And i'm going to take it back to ben's friends You know for me in terms of my history. I over thirty years old from sixteen to thirty. My life was nothing but a living hell. I'm not gonna go into details. Orient evolve the story did die from an alcohol and drug overdose on an emergency room table. They found me in a hotel room. After four days of non-stop round the clock drugging and drinking. They opened up the door. Thank god 'cause they didn't know what was going on and they died at an emergency room table as a result of that they found me just in time.
10 Things to Tell People Why You Aren't Drinking
"Today. We're talking about all awkward summertime situation or how we make them awkward before they even happen. Because we're future tripping about how uncomfortable we're going to be an anxious about what people will think if you're not drinking and what will you say. And how will they react today. I have ten things you can tell people why you aren't drinking to help you get through the summer situations with confidence and with yours. Sobriety in tact now listen. I don't think it's a great idea to put yourself in super awkward situations especially when you're newly sober. But i also know you are on your own journey and you have to learn for yourself what works for you and what doesn't if you are going to go into challenging situations or if you have to go into challenging situations because it's a family thing or a work that you can't avoid then i want you to be prepared. Today's episode is a cheat sheet to fast track. You from struggling with overwhelming zaidi about what you'll say and how everyone else will react to being able to relax and feel confident like you've been alcohol-free for hundred years it ain't no thing all by planning ahead if you take some time to think about in advance what you'll say and how you'll respond to people then it doesn't seem so scary
Why We Get Hangxiety
"So my day job. I'm actually a lawyer solicitor. And i am work in insurance which is perhaps the most boring thing you can possibly imagine spending day reading insurance contracts prior to that i was in the military for a few years or seven in the parachute regiment and now in iraq and obviously i've written a few books so the most well known of them being explained an outcome explained to at the moment live in london of a wife and two children of ayton ten till about alcohol. I've read them both. So it's all explained isn't an all plane to what grabbed you. Why why did you become so interested in this topic that you written two books about it. I suppose my interest is only started drinking and smoking. When i was about fourteen which depending on who you speak to either seems perfectly normal all very young but i think over here in the uk of fourteen fifteen about the age. A lot of people start or started drinking and smoking certainly back in the nineties. And i quit smoking. So so what. I did in my late teens. I came across allen car so obviously allen call wrote a book he developed his not stop smoking method of Back in the nineteen eighties. And i read that to try and quit. Smoking and i was really taken by it because he introduced so it was almost to me. A whole new way of looking at smoking and addiction generally just a really pragmatic common sense approach. That just stripped it down to water is you're actually dealing with
Cant See the Forest for the Trees
"I just had a major breakthrough moment the other day about this rough patch that i've been going through and i shared with you guys a few weeks ago that i've been going through a rough spot and at the time i couldn't pinpoint what was happening Because i was too close to it. But i knew like my energy was down. I wasn't following through on things. But you know when you're in it you're in it and you can't always see the pieces clearly because you're just in it and you know that saying you can't see the forest for the trees. I didn't understand what that meant for a long time. And it's only been in the last few years that i've come to understand what it really means and it makes sense to me and this is exactly what i just went through so when you're in the middle of your life in the minutia the day-to-day stuff you're in survival mode. Like jumping from one minute to the next trying to keep it all together. The kids in schools in pick ups and drop offs and working spouses and houses. And i mean it's a lot right. You're just trying to keep it all together. That's the trees you're in the trees and when you take a breath and look up all you can see. Are the trees all you can see over the next five things you have to do. And the last five things. You didn't get done right like that's the trees but if you could jump in a helicopter and fly up above the trees and look down you see the whole forest when you have that thirty thousand foot view the past becomes more and yes. I know helicopters. Don't go thirty thousand feet airplanes thirty thousand feet. But you know what i'm saying. You can look down on the whole forest in easily. See the path. You can see where to go where to turn left go straight turn right because you're looking down on the whole picture. That whole picture is your life but when you're in the trees yet can't see the path because you look up and see nothing but trees you can't see the forest for the trees. That's how i describe the value coaching too. By the way you hire a coach or mentor because they have the thirty thousand foot view and then they can see all the moves where all you can see are the trees. You need the person that isn't so close to it to see accurately what moves need to be made.
Exploring Sobriety Rooms in Clubhouse - With Justin Lamb
"I'm just lamb. I live in michigan in the united states. I am a podcast. Host of the podcast called friend request. And i also play guitar and saying pursued that for a number of years and my day job that i don't really talk about often as Is an asset accounting super boring. I actually don't like talking about it at all. But it pays the bills while i can do all my other hobbies like the podcast and interviews like this and things like that. Oh that's really interesting. So you wanted these creative people that is actually good with numbers as well because normally thought the one on the other you know. I have a weird theory on that. Because i had to take. I'm going to school to become a therapist right now to waited forever. I got three associate's degrees. Well piney way way through community college. Now i'm going to go to an actual university and get a masters in counseling. Because of that. I had to take a math class recently. And i'm thirty eight years old so i was sitting there with a bunch of you know. Eighteen nineteen year olds taking this math class. And during that time i never touched my guitar. my theory is that it was exercising. The one side of my brain so the other side just wasn't really fascinating. Nineteen who was a leonardo davinci was famous for having for doing both of those things. I'll be next. Don't worry about it right there next to just stay. We've stumbled across each other in the recovery space. haven't we so Tokens is trivial. Y'all substance abuse issues and how that happened and how you started using and and when you stopped you know. I didn't touch anything until the end of high school. I wasn't one of those people that started drinking. You know twelve thirteen. Fourteen years old
Interview With Army Veteran, Tom Spooner
"I guess we should start with the documentary. Tell us more about what what we're going to see their what the reason was for the documentary. And give me all the particulars. Okay said the number one reason for the documentary was to continue to spread the word and get the word out about warriors heart in about the struggles that our veterans and first responders that population firefighters. What they experience so that that was that was really the why behind it then And then we captured it with the warriors heart story which is is pretty rare. Rica's it's a little bit behind the scenes of we have staff members that are on there that tell their stories and also what we do that that connect the dots. You know 'cause we talk a lot about veteran issues like hey how do we actually go about. You know what goes on behind behind closed doors per se you know with the actual treatment. Most people don't even really know what that means. And what what treatment means. Yeah yeah we gotta talk about that but keep going with this population For those that know this the population that we treat here is primary diagnosis chemical dependencies with co occurring conditions. Pt s more grief injury although buffet that we know that we all have and But that's with the active duty. Veterans offers responders. Emt's law enforcement that whole group and there's a lot of them have the same specific something from just a curiosity from a treatment. Standpoint is mixed gender or do you have to separate its makes gender obviously separate for the for the housing aspect of whenever it comes to the treatment modalities in everything that we do is together which it mimics the what they did on the profession. You know as far as working females males together you it always says that same dynamic
Be a Free-Thinker in Your Recovery
"As you know. Many years ago. I found myself at that same fork in the road where i had to make a super tough decision and break up with alcohol. I didn't go to detox. They didn't go to treatment. Not because i didn't want to. But because i didn't know back then how dangerous withdrawal is and i thought treatment was only for celebrities so i went to aa. All i knew about a was that that's where people went when they didn't want to drink anymore and i knew i wanted to be a person who didn't drink anymore. Also i got sober a long time ago and there weren't dozens of different options back in the day. And you know you're getting old when you start using phrases like back in the day a long time ago. I'm since i got sober. I became a life coach. I went to school for addiction counseling. I went to social work school. I got certified as a recovery coach studied in lp and neuro psych. And i've learned so much more about everything not only recovery in quitting drinking but about life and how our brains work in human behavior and how we act and react trauma self esteem breaking habits and thousand other things. What i've learned on this journey is that changing. Your life is about knowing yourself. It's about knowing who you are. What works for you and knowing your limitations you have to have that self awareness to know what you aren't great at too because you will have to work around those areas to be successful. Like i know i don't like to drive so my gym has to be right up the street or i won't go you know when i got sober. I was the same way with my. aa group. I found a group that was right up the street from my house. Because i knew that's the only way that i would go. I know i struggle with being lazy and wanting to quit things in wanting to shortcut. And i'll talk myself out of doing things because it'll take too long so if i want to be successful. Whatever i'm doing. I have to find ways to work around those issues.
Microdosed Mindfulness With Janet Fouts
"Hello everybody welcome to the addicted. Mind my guest. Today is janet fouts and she's gonna talk about mindfulness one of my favorite topics. So janet please introduce yourself well. Thanks dwayne gosh. How do i introduce myself. I'm a lot of things. I'm an author speaker a caregiver. I do a lot of stuff. I wear a lot hats but the one that really floats my boat. The most is mindfulness on. I'm really glad that we're gonna get a chance to talk. Awesome i am. I am excited to talk with you about that. I know you have like books out there which just amazes me. I've i've never written a book but Maybe one day but that seems like a big number. I don't know why. I'm thinking that but it does well anyway. Let's just been tell me a little bit about you. And how mindfulness came into your life. Well it's Always had kind of aspects of mindfulness to my life. But i remember way back. Maybe the seventies early eighties. I decided i'm gonna learn to meditate and it was really due to the show. Kung-fu because i was really convinced of come was convinced that if i just learnt to meditate that everything would start to move slower and i be able to manage my life and everything would be wonderful and you know if somebody attacked me. I'd be able to just stop them in a heartbeat. These are things you get when you're a teenager absolutely. That's so funny. Because i i loved same that same feeling you know you just thought why he's so cool to be can't and then i studied taichi for while and i did meet some people who were actually amazing human beings. That could do all kinds of crazy things. And then i realized that i don't i'm too busy. I have monkey mind. I can't do this. I ran through all the usual
Drinking and Exercise With Mike
"All right. Let's get to mike. And hey mike happy third sober birthday. Hi mike how are you doing. Well i'm good. Thank you so much for sitting down with me this morning to share your story and well. Let's start with the basics. Tell me what your name is and your sobriety date. Would you have described yourself as a high or a low functioning. Drink gra some name. Is mike schuck actually keep going. Mice june scenes of two thousand and eighteen. So june nineteen eighteen. Yeah i would like to describe myself as a high functioning drinker until i was not once and and with the everybody else news for you now. I love it when people say that. Because it's owed relatable it's like when do you go from one to the other. It happened so fast well before we get into your story. Tell me a little bit about you right now where we live. How old you are career. Hobbies family find anything like that. So originally from slowly Ben in dc. About what four or five years at this point Work i actually work with a non alcoholic beer company which is huge huge Aesthetic company and for hobbies. I may try which is also huge. will get into here but is it and how old are you. I'm thirty four. Twenty eight hundred eighteen so you got sober when you were thirty one long
Are You Physically (or Psychologically) Addicted to Alcohol?
"I do live here in portland oregon. And i've lived here for gosh well over thirty years now and i am a mom to four boys. I call them. Boys really young men now but you know there's four of them and I m happily married and have been just really working on my life and working on my own relationship with alcohol for the past two plus well two plus years that i've figured it out many many years of prior to that we'll talk about that more and in my daytime job. I work at a senior living community. Which i love and i get to help. Seniors create a happier longer life. Suddenly you described yourself as the adult child of an alcoholic. And i wondered if he talked to us about your childhood and how that shaped your attitude towards alcohol. Yeah i have a pretty long story with alcohol in my family and it. I was thirteen when my mother. I admitted to me that she was an alcoholic. And i've talked about this story on my own podcast about how i was. You know it was a saturday morning. And i was very going to catch her. You know i was going to really naylor to the wall because she was at the ironing board and she had a glass of vodka on the rocks designed to look like water. You know that. I wasn't supposed to recognize it and so i very triumphantly asked her was going to catch her and said you know. Are you an alcoholic. And i remember her answering me and she did say yes she thought she was or yes she was. But i really didn't hear i just. I really thought that by her. Admitting it to me that it would fix it. You know that it would go away as as as a thirteen year old. That was my mindset. If i caught her and she knew that i knew then she would stop
Paying Attention to the Subtle With AdaPia D'Errico
"Hello everyone welcome to the addicted. Mind my guest. Today is to rico and we are going to talk about intuition and and your book productive intuition but i i love to hear your story and how this all evolved. Yeah thanks so much joining such a pleasure to be here when we were kinda speaking prerecording. I was saying that you know this book and even me being here and talking about it has so much to do with a time in my life. one of many but Specially point in time in my life where i was so completely lost where i essentially went through with. A lot of people would call a spiritual crisis. It was out it. Was this time in my life. Where the person that i thought i was successfully especially around career. I've always been like really career driven. I'm going to get things done. I'm in business. I wanna like do things in the world. They want to be a human doing instead of a human being. Right right link. Everything i knew how to do was not working. And i completely lost my marbles because i was like i can't be effective can't make money. I can't do anything. And then i didn't know who to talk to. I didn't have anybody to talk to you. Because i sounded in my own crazy person. How how how do i explain to people that this basically at that point is twenty year career that i had worked so hard to build up. I typically walked away from it with this idea that i was going to use a purposeful work and i was gonna you know i was gonna make really meaningful more meaningful than what i was doing so i was prejudging myself before even going into something into something new and instead what life or the universe or god delivered to me was just failure
Why People Pleasing Isn't Healthy for Your Recovery
"All right. Let's talk about people pleasing this topic. I've discussed on episode six or seven and it's been a few years so i have some more thoughts on this. So miriam webster defines people pleasing is an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own it needs or desires. So that's what we're talking about today. Not people pleasing in a general sense of wanting other people to be happy but doing it at the expense of your own needs. Many events can connect drinking problem in some small way to being people pleasers and like i always say the problem isn't the alcohol. It's what's underneath the alcohol. What's causing you to want to drink and being a people pleaser. Isn't the problem either. Actually still the symptom of something else. Perhaps he grew up in a scary household where fear or a sense of danger. Were ever present in your daily life. My guess is that you were probably a people pleaser and it helped you as a survival mechanism and then those habits gained in you early on and usually continue to repeat themselves throughout adulthood. Perhaps you're a people pleaser in the form of needing validation from other people to boost your competence. The people pleasing again. Not the problem. It's the symptom of problem and the problem is probably closely related to having deep rooted self esteem issues self esteem issues and growing up around. Fear are really common issues within the recovery. Stories that you've heard shared on the show people pleasing is not unique and drinking. Alcohol is a very common coping mechanism but the point is that quitting drinking doesn't automatically solve this. You don't stop drinking and suddenly you're not a people pleaser you have to peel back the layers to understand where the root of everything begins and that's recovery. It's quitting the substance so that you're in a sober state of mind to dig in and explore the feelings around what you've been numbing.
My Battle With the Booze, a Doctor's Story
"This week. My guests to start to stephan f a german doctor who lives in houston and he's in a 'test bestselling last become a show host and alcoholic in recovery. He uses his books in his social media to emphasize that there is indeed a life after alcohol and he's a true example of the fact that the post does not have to equal the future. Let's listen to his story. I am a german and lift around the world and now settled down with my beautiful family here and even more beautiful new zealand. Well how did it start. Well i come from germany and spawn sixty six. So therefore the eighties. That was sort of. I my forming years. And if you look back at the films that be watched in the eighties was lethal. Weapon was mad max whereas all these kinds of things You if you look at the heroes dare. They were all down and out and lethal weapon starts with this famous scene where mel gibson gets up into trailer. Naked has a piss. Watson has got a cigarette and a beer in his hand. That's his breakfast. You know these are the heroes or anti heroes. China say Equally in germany. Everyone drinks and there is actually a healthy drinking culture One has to say to is not the kind of mattering king that is occurring in the uk where it is sort of time limits. Sorry ten thirty device close so you need to get in as much as you possibly can know. You can have beer wine. Whatever you wish. Twenty four seven in germany so devils a nice culture there and i got into that nice culture when i was sort of in my first second year in university
Interview With Life Coach, Beth Gardner
"So what i'm currently doing. I'm working as a life coach on two different paths. Incidentally similar In the approaches. That i use i'm working with non addicts so these are people that have not had Addiction within their lifetime but have been surrounded by beat through were core Extracurricular activities in the educational environment Corporate america it's a wide variety. And i'm working with these people to provide them nine non-judgmental confidential sounding board For them to actually speak freely About their questions. Their concerns and to provide them solution. Serve a paths for its healing map if you will so that. They can towards our own past excellent. And i'd read some of the notes that you had sent me before the episode and you alluded to the fact that Your your parents struggled with with Some chemical dependency issues. Do you think that that's part of the reason that you got into. This is what what drew you to researching and finding out more about The the role of the support people play and what What kind of help that. You might need as someone that is affected by someone in active addiction correct while would actually stem from was back in two thousand november. Two thousand. i was training for. What would have been my first marathon. First and only marathons a year prior to that i had Retired from the elite sport. A rolling. So i had been training with world class athletes many of which were previous olympics. I had not earn berths on the national team at that point nor had been to the olympics. But i I have retired from that sport. In ninety nine and november of two thousand after going to a breast surgeon. I would stike nerves with stage three breast cancer and it was a non genetic
Neurosurgery and Poetry With Paul Kaloostian
"Hello everyone welcome to the addicted. Mind podcast. I have a wonderful guest today who we were just talking. And i have a lot of questions dr paul collusion. Who is a neurosurgeon. And he's going to talk about the brain and addiction and all the different parts of that. And what's going on up there. So paul please introduce yourself. We'll good morning. Thank you so much have me. I'm a big fan of yours and i may neurosurgeon. I deal with a wide variety of problems affecting the brain the spinal cord and variety of our nerves throughout our body of work in for about seventeen years now and the brain has really been such. A fascinating oregon. Just i remember going through training and going through my first few surgeries where the skull was opened up. The the covering of the brain was opened up at you see the actual pulse ation of the brain and the structure of Always fascinated me and to this day. I mean it's just It's really all inspiring and really is so important that we really understand our brain. Our spinal cord functions in really become more appreciative of what they do for us on a daily basis. The question i want to ask is how do you say you know. I'm going to be a neurosurgeon. How did that happen. And how did you start to kind of this is what i what interests me. Yeah first thing that came from a family of physicians. So honestly i think medicine was in was in my dna so to speak sitting at the dinner table. I mean that's what we spoke about. Dna all the time and my brother and sister also physicians as well. But i do recall. A course i took it. Brown university in rhode island was a introductory neuroscience course that was taught by a wonderful professor who actually wrote the textbook used in. That was my first introduction to how our brain spinal cord function we literally learned about the sales of the brain and spinal cord what these cells do how they function newbies. So amazed if you just looked at these books and research articles on how this once a single cell of the brain has so many different functions within it.
Let's Talk About Trauma and How to Heal
"Hi everyone it's some. How excited are you. I'm really excited. I am very hopeful that this summer we will be taking better care of ourselves better care of each other and we're all in this world having a more content driven life. Not sure it's going to happen. A certainly not just gonna happen for me. But that's what i'm putting out to the universe this morning as i'm recording this podcast and i'm hopeful that in our little piece of the universe for everyone listening we can put that out there for ourselves today. All right with that said i would love for everybody to take collective big breath in hold it for a little bit and then let it out. Why because today peeps. We're gonna talk about trauma and this can be a heavy subject but as usual. I'm gonna try and have a little fun with it where we can overall. I want for you to learn more about what trauma is how trauma has changed in definition over the years. And what you can do to feel better. If you have experienced trauma in your life when bad things happen to us it can take a while to get over those feelings. The pain and feel safe again but most of us don't really get over it you know. That's not one of my favorite phrases and the reason is is because trauma lives deep inside of us
Interview With Author, Therapist, Dr. Anadel Barbour
"Today. It is dr del barber Her book is sex and sobriety equality of narrative that utilization mindfulness practices for enjoyable sober. Sex bailed on amazon and dell in a d e l barber b. a. r. b. o. u. r. dot com is her website. You can follow me on twitter at an a. s. c. h. m. a. n. a. Ns amana Dr barbara welcome all added that long. I never got rid of that email for him out like i i completely get. I've got some arbitrary numbers after my name that the person who sent it by email which i didn't understand really what email was et cetera. Whatever number it's been my email address for god fifty. I don't wanna talk about it. But but but the really scary part is for me. That seems like five minutes ago. So that's the part. So let's i want to talk about. Amd are but let's talk about you. Look at your book. I just what. What is it that people would go to the book form. What is in the book. The book was really came out of my dissertation. And it's about how drugs affect the body and mind when people give them up and have sex very disconnected. And so there's mindfulness practices. It's not this meditation. It's getting to know the body. It ain't no you know your own ears and being able to face them. In with mindful practices we can connect with your body. But you can also learn how to hopefully out that
Sobriety vs. Recovery
"One of the things that kate mentions in the beginning of her story is all of the times that she unsuccessfully tried to quit drinking before her sober date in twenty eighteen. She talks about white. Knuckling it and how ultimately that failed for her. I think that most of us who can't quit drinking on our own have had many stops and starts before finally sticks. And that's probably why you're listening to this podcast. A common misconception is that quitting drinking means you just stop drinking alcohol and that's it you're done you don't change anything else. Just remove that one liquid from your glass and that is all. that's sobriety. Sure you know you're not putting that substance in your body anymore. You're sober but you're not making any other changes or improvements or taking any steps to work on the behaviors that likely contributed to your drinking a phrase that you used to hear a lot is dry drunk but we're starting to kind of move away from that language it really contributes to the negative stigmas around substance use but that phrase refers to someone who's quit drinking but has not made any other changes to their behavior in over one hundred thirty episodes of this show. I cannot count how many times i recorded myself saying. It's not about the alcohol. Yes you are drinking the substance that is life ruin her but it's not the alcohol that's the root of the problem. Alcohol is what you drink to cover up what you're feeling what you drink to numb out. What you swallow to wash down your rage or anger or sadness or trauma and once you start depending on alcohol and eventually become addicted to it. It's easy to focus on the substance because so many of the consequences are from the alcohol. The consequences are happening in plain sight. Not inside your mind and don't get me wrong. You have plenty of consequences from alcohol inside your mind but most of us aren't out there getting. Dwi's from unaddressed trauma.
Peer Recovery Specialists With Kabir Singh
"Kabeer introduce yourself thanks. Thanks for having me on. The addicted mind today really honored to be here. So yeah that's my name is could be are saying it's funny because there was a bollywood movie that recently came out and it was titled kabeer saying and the funny thing about that is it was about a guy that turns inflict a massive hall because he loses the love of his life and fills out and people your movie. I was totally before this interview. Doing some research and totally giggle and got that. I'm like. I don't think that's the comparising i'm going to interview very. Yeah the there's also a comedian. How out your way in the west coast that could be. You're saying so there. There's a i am neither of those people. I am a person in recovery in a proud of that and with that means for me is that i haven't found it necessary to use a minor mood altering substance since may first two thousand eleven if you do the math awesome. Got ten years awesome awesome. So let's just start with with your story first and then and then we'll talk about peer recovery and how that can help people and how people can use that as a tool in recovery. But i how did it all start for you so it all started for me. I'm a garden variety. Sort of story. Here there is a fabulous theatrics to my story. They're using started around fifteen years old and introduced to alcohol and weed. The regular progression. They're not a whole lot of problems. In the household were regular family. There is no perfect family. Parents still together today married. I think this year will be fifty three years two older brothers. Yeah two older brothers that i really kept their noses in the books and and didn't require a whole lot of interaction with the parents that but i know how to when when i was a kid