Toni Dupree Talks Etiquette, Style, Manners, and TikTok!
Well. Hello, everyone I am billy. D's a welcome to the podcast. If you have never checked out our program before we are primarily an interview and a commentary podcast, you can find abilities pike pretty much anywhere. PODCASTS are found that would say apple podcasts, which is I tunes is probably one of our mainstays were also on spotify radio tune in stitcher on down the line, and this is a first for me. We're actually recording via zoom. So this is like who Zilin who right and on the line with me. Today I have Tony do pre. How's IT GOIN' Tony? I'm well. Everything is going well, thank you, how are you? Good, you don't sound like you're sure. Sony you down in? Houston right. Yes. Did you get any of the rain and stuff that was going on down? There wasn't there some kind of our hurricane or something going through there. Yes? For a couple of days, we got a lot of rain. We welcomed the rain so hot dry. Weight all over the country from what I understand? I'm up here in Ohio and typically we don't get scorching hot weather, but we've had like two or three weeks of ninety degree weather. The lawns are Brown and. Yes. Really. It's really strange. Let me tell the audience a little bit about you. If I may Tony. depre- is the founder and president of Etiquette and style by depre-. And Etiquette Training and coaching company based in Houston with a mission to help young people and businesses and business professionals. Get ahead with good manners. Since two thousand six etiquette workshops style seminars, a self, esteem and behavior classes have taught hundreds of individuals from youth groups to business gatherings. How to present their best selves and cultivate meaningful productive relationships. That's a that's. That's a lot when you're not when you're not. Practicing good etiquette. What do you like to do to let off steam I mean like? Did you have a big hobby or something? What's what's going on down there? It's fun and Houston of course now with code and everything is kind of tough. Well. I picked up a little hobby. Recently. Yeah, for about maybe. Four months now I've been doing tick tock away. Yes, I know him. We were going to talk about that, yeah! That's that's what I've been doing pretty fine. We're definitely going to have to come back to that because your videos are actually very good. And And that's that's not. It. In all honesty, your videos are better than a lot of people half your age and that's tough. That's tough. and. To Be Successful on that platform. You have to be visual and we're. We're going to talk about that. Because I'M GONNA. Kinda wonder how that's going to factor into your marketing because I would think it would have to work if you can tie it in somehow so we'll get to that. You're also author. You published your first book in Two Thousand Fifteen who's fork. Is that anyway? which is an entertaining and easy to read dining guide for young adults I'll. Let's start with that. How did that come about? So. I've been an etiquette coach for was since two thousand six and I had a are. Still do it now but A. A don an etiquette. powerpoint in this call, who's Farkas it way I named it. WHO's for? Is it anyway because of this three year old little boy? Who was trying to. A school and Afar getting night. All at the same time to eat his forget. And he just got so tired of it. He just put everything down and said. Who Cares about the sports in which one and who it belongs to? So, WHO's for his it anyway because of? Just had a little meltdown. And rightfully so I actually you only need a fork for you. But he he had seen as parents use the SPO and so he was just combined in everything. If you just gotTa love. And unnamed my powerpoint after his meltdown. Yes, and so that's how it came about because parents were like I can't stop them from eating. My kids stop eating like animals at the table. You know. Can you help us, so? I wanted to come up with something that they could use for themselves. You don't always have to hire me are. Somebody you can count a do it yourself in the book is laid out for you to use it like a tool if you need to, you can invite in. I really wanted separate clubs to start after that you know because parents were complained. About been on video too much, so you could. It's them how to cook. And invite their friends over and they can just Kinda have low. You know dining session among themselves. And that was the concept. That was my thought behind it. It just kinda turned into something I mean. This whole business has just done a few different hoops. that. I didn't think I mean I couldn't have no I. Start with one mission. And then it just kind of spiraled. So many different ones. I'm I'm happy about it. Surely happy sometimes works you. Get channeled into something and it takes off, and it's not what you originally anticipated, but there's been a lot of businesses. Go that route. Yeah Yeah and I think to one of the best things is. What you start in mind with bike I started with One of my favorite quote quote is by George Eliot. What are we to do but make life easier to one another, so my whole concept for etiquette style was to make either the interview process. For the the managing process I've never been a manager or supervisor anybody. Because I never wanted to because I don't want to supervise individuals problems I don't want to. I know that that's not where. The people issue of it all is not what I WANNA do I can manage projects on somebody else's job, but if I have to manage all of that, so I thought about how I felt about it and in both books, I camera came up with something that was easy to transition into A. Or to use for yourself, you know. It's just another person in minor sure so I always keep that quote at the foundation of everything. That's a great foundation and we're GONNA talk about how we treat each other as a society in here in a little bit because I think that's not really ties in to what you're talking about now in addition to everything else you. Do you also write for several magazines? Do you WanNa talk a little bit about that. What do you write about? What are some of your subjects and? So this is insane. Publications are all etiquette inspired. Okay, and I have I. Have I have a Rockstar publicist? And she is the reason that I right through so many publications because she sees something, she sends it to me and she's like urgent. Put something together for this site. Pichit and so this is how this comes about so now. been working with Tracy for two years and so a lotteries publications are national publication. So really proud of that work to you know it's not a bad deal to be quoted in the Mashal magazine, so that's awesome. But before that. I started with makeup, a one, a one, which is a nonprofit and they had a a magazine is called movement one on one and the things that I wrote about were a team. Inspire insights. From behavior. Etiquette how we treat ourselves. being polite to one another I wrote articles about that and then Hokkaido I can't is so many. I just can't think short the names, but everything is etiquette. Inspired or people inspired our behavior inspired. That's what I mostly right about now in my own personal blog I write about a whole Lotta just the collateral of. Things yeah from traffic to. Those things where you can use colorful language. Yeah You have to have a way to let off steam us. Well I gotTA. Tell you I'm I'm probably the world's worst at driving and and using. Profanity as a matter of fact I could probably. I could probably str- string together some really good rhymes, and have a good backbeat with profanities while lumped. Wow So. ABOUT ABOUT ETIQUETTE What is different about etiquette versus just saying well I have good manners. So. Alright so let's let's put it in these terms. Okay. Etiquette is how everything is phrased. Absurd umbrella. And so you have your manners you have. Your managers your approach. To your behavior. Does that help. In this beautiful and sells etiquette is how things are. Present it how it looks okay. That's the advocate of it all you know you, you put yourself together very whale. Okay, and then your manners is your approach so from there, so you look real nice in pretty so van. You present yourself there. And then you have your behavior, that follows so also in the manners. Is Your thought processes? Your how your approach is like how you might choose to speak to someone you know are difficult situation in our. You know lackluster individual. K. This year manner behaviors, and then you behavior is. Putting it in motion Does that make sense, yeah I kind of like to put it like that. Because when you say etiquette a lot of times, people are like Oh my God. I don't want to deal with that. This hortatory and is not really about that. Because etiquette is just the whole person is, everything is how you see yourself how you speak how. The choices that for best practice, yeah. Yeah. Well, you mentioned that quote and I believe a great quote. Increasingly the the society as the way. I'm not young anymore. And I go back a number of years and decades and I don't ever remember a time when there are so many divisions in society I don't care if it's your. Necessity Your religion your political background there is a reasons to divide people up. And on top of that there is an increasing hostility that I don't remember now I remember back in the days of Ronald Reagan and things like that. When I very young people had different opinions, and sometimes arguments would arise, but now you say the wrong thing and you're faced with aggression I don't know that I ever remember it being this bad And you talk about. A mutual respect and trying to make life peopling life better for people. What is your opinion about that? Since since that behavior and that etiquette is and mannered. Personality is so important to you. How are you dealing with these times that are just off the charts. Okay so social one I'm GONNA. Say I am humid. Yes an etiquette coach. That's my title. But I'm human so things get to me, too, but I realize I can choose how I address it, so if I can share. A something that happened actually today on talk. I did video, and it's video where You mean to tell me. Hand Soap and hand. SANITIZER can kill the virus. But you can't find a cure for pretty much. The best video I mean is is a lot more. Emphasis on things but. Air limitation. Fifty when I lasted fifty five hundred people. Responded to that video. But the comments. Were so disrespectful, not necessarily directed at me. But at the video. And people who responded so some people may have said Oh my God I can't believe it so then someone would come in and say this just ignorance that you can't believe that you know so then. I thought about it. I could just watch this. You know like amend the Coliseum I could just watch this play out, but now after video out there so to me I have a responsibility, so that's the whole thought process of it. So I come in whenever I see somebody who says something derogatory about it or about someone say. Let me remind you guys. This is skit. Is Not my voice. I came I joined Tiktok to have a good time. Yeah, I did my political views of what I really think about this virus, and all this kind of stuff that is, we're not gonNA who were known to fix all that. In one. One three absolutely. So it's lighthearted. And sometimes, so the last one I put was sometimes. You just have to smile and move through it while you're trying to figure it out. You know and then people started lightening up, but to everyone who was rude. A made a point to respond similar to that like each response is different, but it the foundation of the responses the site. And so. In the Liza. Why did that is because we all have a responsibility you're not. You're not superman I'm not saying that we're not cancer. We're not, but what we are doing is trying to make life a little bit easier for one another. One situation at a time just like the quote that I love from George January. It is the best clothes in the world because if you think life there. You can't help move like that so when I think about what's going on. Today is ridiculous I think that What would help is we're all here together for res? And I think we need everything that is here as unfortunate. Some of this stuff is and it's horrible. It is to look at. There's a reason for. Now it's not your responsibility to figure out what the reason is, but it is your responsibility to make toward. because. We're not I mean if you were supposed to be, you're by yourself. You would be by yourself. And you're supposed to figure out how to work this out while we are here, so somebody's may be ignorance. But, if you have knowledge and you don't share it with them at that point there, ignorance becomes your fault. Because if there's something I, don't know in you. Don't tell me and you know it. You bear responsibility for that. And Etiquette Etiquette touches on all of that is how you think it is how you behave how you choose to behave. It is education of all people, not just some people you know it is know. And, we're not doing that. We're not because everybody is mad. Everybody's is impatient. Nobody's trying to find. A easier way to do. Any of this. or We don't make it. Okay. Like what have you don't know what to do? Can Somebody say. You know what to do. 'cause I always know what to do. Read the just like I said. I I'm Humid's. You know yeah. I say bad words. I just don't show them all the time and I. Don't say Bam. At people, you know, I don't use them as a weapon. Weapon I use them as Cutler for my compensation. When! I in researching you a little bit going through some of your stuff, you talk about empathy. And they know that really factors in to how treat people. Right. In Your in your coaching and some of the experience that you have. Can something like empathy be taught, or is that something that you either feel it or you don't? So. CAN IMPACT THE BE. taught. I know that's a tough one. So! Empathy can't be taught to children. Can Be taught to children. For, adults. I think that empathy may be a nudge that we do like a reminder. Are you know? Don't forget to be prepared today. So if you just happen to be married to a BOOB job and they're going out to work. And and you know how they are. Because you know how they are with you, you might WanNa do a low. Sweet low knowledge. Don't get to be insulated especially if there's somebody supervisor manager, you know. Put your kindness had all today you? Can Be massaged in with an adult. I don't know. About teaching. Adults empathy because. That is not something that I do what I do in my workshops is massage it in to the lesson? Yes, like a Candy Gentler Nudge and not not the pat on the bag kind of thing, but just as. When you give an example of something, a personal example that we can all relate to. Everybody's GonNa feel it even if they don't say anything about it, you. And you probably GonNa, give it two seconds of thought. Well, really, that's all you need. It only takes two seconds for you have to. Embrace incubator use it. Or share. Well that kind of leads me into my next question. What are some of the very basic things that the average person can do throughout the course of a day to just be nice and show people that? Want to open up the lines of communication and just communicate with them better. So for what you know, they have this thing that people say act. Tell it like it is. You heard people all the time. So thousand night, my favorite people and so limited everywhere I wa I'm very sensitive person. Asset that. Ams I'm so sensitive I'm have shirt made. super-sensitive proceed with caution. I said I was sure best. How sensitive I used to be! Not as bad today, but I'm still sensitive and I don't think is GonNa go anywhere. So I'm not a fan of the. Tell it like it is people because they usually do it as a straight shot. No chaser I'm not always prepared for that. I can listen to you. Tell me what I need to hear, but you need to have bedside manner batch itself absolutely. Okay and I think when when you wait one of the things that will make being kinder. Be. If you when you wake up, think about what Kinda Day. You have you want to have yeah. But I. You have to think about who you need to be in that day in order to have that result. Curve, so if you wake up thinking that way. That could help. Now you know everybody. Everybody's different. Did say united reference. The term biker should say that on your shareholder boob job comment. But we have them in every industry you know in in every work environment you whether you know I work for myself, but I still meet that difficult client. And, what what? I normally say when I'm meet somebody. WHO poses a challenge? Is We got us all of this anyway I'm glad I came out. So! We gotta use the good the bad and medically so we can get to where we're trying to be. Usually. That fuses the situation. When you wake up and you think about who I need to be in this day. To get whatever result I'm trying to get. That that kind of brings it home for you. You're going to be less likely to have these little tips that people have throughout the day that unnecessary. I see stuff in a grocery store I mean. A lady gave me the business in the grocery store because I was given somebody six feet and I said. What does what they said on the news that we need to? Up Six feet. Well you enough space. You could just get over there I. said I'm not going to crowd that gentleman what he's getting his produce. Well I'm going, and so she went in front of me and I'm may have been thinking something, but I didn't say it, you know. And that's the thing I gave a little grace, and then I had to ask for forgiveness. From Jesus, you know for what I was thinking, but you know because I'm human. That goes back to what I said. We're all human. It is what you choose to do for the world to see. You know if you're okay with that I mean I'm not the police I don't have a heaven. A hail put anybody in, but what I am supposed to do in my business, and in my in my day is to bring about a conscious few. That doesn't mean that I get on the soapbox. And Damn everybody to hail, but what it does name is say you know what. You know if if that's what you need to do. Let me make room for you, you know. What that means. So, that's a great attitude and a I can tell you. Just like the the issue with the masks. We don't talk about it, but. There's people protesting and all that in Ohio. His wearing a mask for ten minutes. While you go to. Kroger's or whatever it is. Is it really violating your rights to do that I? It amazes me I if your life is so good that you're passionate enough that you're going to go to the State Capitol and protest the fact that you have to wear a mask. Um I mean I my life is. That good got bigger problems than that so? The hostility that you get. And I. Don't know where these conspiracies are coming from the. It's just amazing to me. There's just so much wrong, and it's so good to hear. Someone like yourself talking about how we should treat people and the etiquette that goes along with how we present ourselves and That's so important now. You mentioned Tiktok and For those that may not else, tiktok is somewhat controversial because every like everything else. It's been politicized. But. It is a essentially a video APP and you can make fifteen second videos within the APP, or you can go up to a minute. And of course you can produce your videos and upload them if you want. TIKTOK is loaded with a lot of people doing lip synching a dancing, but there's also a lot of people who. Are Doing political commentary they are. There's a lot of creators on their. WHO ARE ACTORS COMEDIANS and they're doing these little skits. Some of them are very talented. I'm I. I kind of got on I. Don't know if you know who Gary Banner Chuck is Gary V, but he was touting tick tock there for a while he's. He's one of these marketing gurus that I follow so I. Thought Alright I'll. I'll check this out and I found it interesting I. Don't know that it has really taken off, but I know it has for you you. You do these very entertaining things, and is this something that just came to you recently? Have you always tried to do stuff like that? It seems like you're in your approach. It seems like you've been doing these things forever. So no I am not pro, okay. And so. And I feel so bad because I have to tell you this. I was never going to get to. When. I also work at a school a middle school and there was some middle schoolers and they kept saying. Oh, Mr Pre. You should do a TIKTOK video with US models sites. I'M NOT GONNA. Do a tiktok video would much of cheaters like a loser and so i. Feel so bad I actually joined because I tell those kids there. I'm never getting on that I. AM fifty one years old. What do I look like getting onto todd food. That's what. And here I am on their lack of flu and so. I just don't mind. Band silly, you know. Maybe that's the only thing I can tell you yes. I wish I could tell you something more profound about my joining Tiktok but I have absolutely nothing profound nothing now. Stands like as an author. That I should have these wonderful words to site. No at Dell. I just do it with my wine and I don't always have wine I do not because. I don't need it all. But. But. Shown of videos adjust. I think they just call you. When you're like. That one's for me. Yeah, that one is for me. You know they speak to you some Conway, Oh sure. I have nothing else to say for When I decided to actually jog orange I. told my husband I, said you know what? This corona virus has taken on you. Know is just ridiculous so I'm I'm going to see if I can make? PEOPLE SMILE IN France will worried. Just irritated about their lives changing. Virus. And when it first started. I join at the end of April. And, you know everybody was bellyaching about how their lives have changed in. We were locked down on. Short and I. Wanted to turn that around a little bit. People, laugh or smile. I did not know if I was actually wanted to be able to do that. Because Jay tick, Tock is difficult. It is it is very difficult. Billet is those because you are having to make somebody else's content your own but funny. Or add some Kinda some some kind of different magic to it. In, you didn't create this it and that is something I have never done in my life. So I just a that was my commitment. And I and you and you know you get hooked. Is like Oh. We gotTA do my house. You know or let me get my work done so I can do. It's like a little treat and the midnight. It's an old show business axiom that it's all been done before. You just have to make your own. You just have to make sure. Has. It worked out as a marketing tool for you. Have you tried that yet? So I did something really interesting because I'm not really good at marketing myself I. Mean That's not what I do. I'm not a Mark Avenue. That is not what I want to soon for so but I know. I mean I. Think when you're in business. You know what you need, right? You know who? You know you have to talk to people all the time. You use what you got, so I did this one video. It was actually a sex in the city. Video and I use my book and I didn't all I wasn't trying to. Really self promote because I don't feel real comfortable doing that like toot my own horn, but I did say in the writing. This is actually my book. Short Limb people have been buying the book awesome and I didn't do it for that I just said, and I have all these books on my shell and I said. Why would I hold somebody else's down Absolute absolutely. That's that's what I did and people reached out and said well look what I ordered. Look what you know just what came in the mail? So it I guess I. Happen using it used it that way. And Ben just been out there consistently. Because met. Is the thing consistency? Appreciate If you are going to act like a fool. You own that and you do that and you're committed to the consistent. That is what we're. GonNa see where we see you. because. We don't have enough of that today now. I mean there are people showing up, but you don't know how to show up every day. You know what I mean. You don't know what you're GONNA get. You know you're going to see them that. You now know we're kind of behavior. So yeah, yes, so so I think that is one thing that has worked well for my business. Awesome. That's fantastic that really I I can't speak highly enough about your videos, and while we're on the subject while we're on the subject where competes and find you on Tiktok and all the other places, your online your website and all this other stuff. So on top it is. Toni T. O. N. I. Dupre D. U. P. R.. E. E. Fifty one. That's on Tock and My website is Duprey Academy Dot Com. So my last name, p., R. E. E. ACADEMY DOT COM. and. facebook burke is Tony do pre. And on instagram. They can find me at etiquette eighty ND style. Awesome. That sounded consuming and then. was going to say about the book. The book with the exact title is who who's fork. Is it anyway and author? Is You have yourself? Let's I presume. Is Tony Debris as author? can people that online where can is just Amazon or So, they can find it online on. Re launched. WHO's Farkas Anyway and I know the relaunches on Barnes and noble website so my? Excuse me. My mother books straight up from the tea. Cup is actually in the store, Barnes and noble, and of course is on Amazon and Bars Noble. Did you can find it a on on any. It's online. A leave you with this final word to anybody who who happens to be listening. What positive message or word of inspiration would you like to leave with others today? I am going to lead my quote, which is improving me as value to the way I see. That's awesome that is that's really a good one. That's my business. Motto also improved them me as value to the way I see you. This has been a very charming interview and. I want to thank you very much for coming on. And we have been speaking to Tony. Do Pre and again. She is the founder and president of Etiquette and style I do pre. She just mentioned a whole bunch of places that you can find her online. She's definitely worth a a good search finder on Tiktok. There's some really. Really toe-tapping fun videos on there that you've done you, you know you you. You come across very well video. I'm not necessarily. Orient I've always tease people. I got a face for radio. That's the other it is. But you very fantastic. I'm telling you. You can lift anybody's move a wonderful. Thank you much Tony for being here. Thank you! Thank you for having me absolutely just to tell the audience again. Billy Dis. You can find the billy podcasts pretty much anywhere. PODCASTS are found apple podcast spotify radio on down the line, and you can find me on twitter, and you can tweet me at billy. Dis. You just have to be nice. You don't have to agree. Venus and they always say that it's not just because don't easier. Thank you very much checking out our guest today and we'll be back again next week. Well everyone I am. From the self titled, Billy, Dis by guest you can find me on apple podcasts Stitcher tune-in iheartradio, and many more of the best podcasts networks. Join me for my commentary and interviews. Follow me on. Twitter released defined. Ask Billy Dis I am. Love to have you listen in.