Saying Yes to the Dress (w/ Megan Gailey)
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Dave did you date to another episode of wounds. You date me the podcast for medical How I'm still single. Even though if you took me took me to a grocery store and left me there with no means to get home at this corona virus. I would still you. Oh boy my guest today. Is you see in her on Conan? You've seen her unladylike seen her at midnight. You've seen her on the tonight show. You've seen around the lights out with David Spade. Look it's negative. How I almost burst through my own wall. I love it. Just like the coolest man. Oh we had a little bit of what we did. I had a technical difficulty up top. It gave me time to make myself a tall glass of Sangria. Ooh What a treat. I have been starting drinking at like four. Pm Every Single Day. Yeah Yeah I one day I was one pm and then I was like that can't continue to happen so I have been trying to wait till like four or five. I will start smoking weed any any hour. Any our he okay. I. I don't even know what day this was because they're all fucking blending together. But I ate an edible at like noon and then at one I was like I'm hungry on. I started eating and then I kept eating and then by the florist trip to the kitchen within like two hours I was like oh I can't do this now night. Took a nap to stop eating But but then you wake up and you go. Oh okay. We're still in our house and then I was like well. I guess I better eat dinner because important nickel you need to stay healthy yes. I need to stay healthy so I have to keep eating yes. Exactly that's what we that's how we can help. But also I am going through wind like it's my job. Yeah Well on Saint Patrick's Day I go. I'm going to do with gay just to switch it up to honor the relatives and just 'cause the wine I've been drinking red wine. Ooh Don't usually do but I feel like I'm doing that. Because once they get to the white wine it's all I mean it's downhill from there. White wine goes down so easy. So Nice I drink. Joel SAUVIGNON BLANC. And I. I can drink three bottles and not have a hangover. I love it so good. I'm like I'm like experimenting with cocktails but I'm really just putting things like shouldn't be together together. I'm not making anything with mixing things that aren't aren't a good pair. Will I think I'm going to go to our liquor stores? Still Open. That's essential so I know we chops are still open. And then I've heard liquor stores are still open and that a lot of liquor stores are doing delivery right now. Okay because I think I'm going to get into like I liked Martini but do I have vermouth in my house. I don't think so. So if you only get into like being in artisanal cocktail maker I would. But that's the feeling pressure because everyone's like everyone needs to have a new hobby or skill and that can be yours. I have not found mine yet. You don't have a hobby or a skill yes you do. I don't have a new one. Yeah okay well. I've been doing yoga. This Nice White Lady tells me how to breathe and Tuck my pelvis and and keep my core into my belly button to spine. And that's been pretty interesting. I feel like my body's like doing better but you know what who knows. I haven't been out in the world and days. I think yoga would be a great. Yoga is definitely going to be on. The family. Feud Board of like top hobbies learned during the quarantine. That's funny because that is going to be a question on family feud not you are going to be. You are in good company. You know like heroin may also be up. There is for sure like knitting. Everyone I know is i. I made it to Joann fabrics right before they closed. It's like well good for you. That's very fucking funny. I think you'll find a hobby. Also I think so. You know what don't fucking. I'm hoping that we are not quarantine long enough to like actually excel in learn hobbies. I needed to like so many go fund me because like our government is bad. Yeah it's it's very frightening now to be like we are now crowdsourcing this country. Yes it's fucking nuts. My God Meghan. I always think of it like you know. There's this huge thing with athletes in. Lebron talks all the time. It's called shut up and dribble like they're always like these far right wing lunatics Just be an athlete. Shut the athletes. Actually THEY I. They better leaders than you are. Truly run says something. I'm like okay. Then it's happening Lebron as a whole fucking school yes? Lebron built a school in his hometown. Which is fucking bananas that our government can't it's exhausting to think about an. It's funny too because everyone in Ohio was so mad at him when he went to Miami and came back mad at him. But he's like I built you as who people burned his jerseys and then he's like with your children like to learn that's people are so fucking wild. It makes zero sense Meghan. So yeah you're recently married should. Wow what a what a really great time to be newlyweds. Did you get to go on your honeymoon before corona we did we went on our honeymoon right after you know like we're in a one thousand nine hundred fifty s movie so like after your weather you went on your honeymoon. We came back home for a day and then we went on our honeymoon. Yeah it's so fucking cute. Where'd you go? We went to. Ooh That's nice and then we were going to go to Italy in the fall. I don't think that's going to happen but but someday someday it will someday. It will someday. It'll be better. I truly was like I was in Italy in December. Did I get Corona Am? I fine? I'm hoping I have it that I already had. It already. Had it and I was one of those people that like. Nothing happened to and then you didn't pass a tiny body. What happens after you have it? Will someone was telling me. Then you're at the of course someone was telling me like I haven't read like an actual article as people keep telling me your immune after you're done with it. I don't know I heard you work but I also I have. I know people in my life that are texting me being. I'm immune I've been taking. I think we need to fact. Check Little Martin. It's it's so wild that like you can't just go to like you can't just like oh. I guess the CDC website or like the World Health Organization. I don't know who you're going to do so okay. So you're not going to Italy this fall now but yeah we got married in December. That's so cute and then he saw you before you got married at J. F. L. in you were like getting married a stressful. Yeah it is it for sure is an everyone warns you if that and there's definitely a spectrum but if no one no bride has ever been like no everything was great. Not One that that person doesn't exist. I don't think how was it to find your dress so like you said yes to the dress. Obviously how many dresses did you try on before you were like this? Mclean yet so we. We got engaged in my hometown of Indianapolis and then I of course got blackout drunk and puked in my parents. Why were your parents bed? Well not in my parents bed like in the bed. That's at my parents house. Okay so like I didn't Puke and they're just puked in a bed they own okay. So you've been there and then of course like eight. Am My mum's honey. Right to be pretty. I need us a ten ham dress appointment now but at least you were at your thinnest absolutely boy. People are going to hate that joke of apologize now for it. I'm sorry I will. That's exactly what I thought. Well it'd be time so we go. I try them on there and I just wasn't. I didn't like Click. It just didn't feel real yet. Felt really silly and so when I got back to La I went Maybe like a month later. I remember my mom came out and there were specific places that I wanted to go and I got very tired of it. Pretty quickly Like you know if a place didn't have champagne who was like why are we say? Listen I've been told their secret rooms. Like why am I sitting here? I probably went like four places and I tried my dress on when my mom was in town and then went and tried it on again. An brought different friends and just like really loved. It felt good in it and then I never had any like buyer's remorse like I wish I had gotten this one like I still really love it and happy war. Do you still have your dressers. You like donate a okay so I still have it but on the night of the wedding. I definitely left it next to the hot tub. Oh my God I fucking love. You like walked out of it. I mean lots of people not just my husband and I was fully nude in its banks in front of all of my friends and so my friend. Jackie had to go get it for me and now it is like crumpled o'clock and I need to get it like steamed in fixed or whatever but now for the foreseeable future. So it's just it's an inside of that now boy he can my face. The dress looks at for sure that Vera Wang instead not sign of a fund wedding. I love it love it how did. Cj PROPOSED TO U. C. J. On about two weeks before we got engaged told me my mom sent him a ring. That was too expensive. You know the classic way you get engaged uh-huh and then and then so we sort of we had like a a panic session about life and then two weeks later he had had the wheels sort of already in motion. We were in Indianapolis for Thanksgiving so I was with all my family. And then he took me downtown. Indianapolis in front of a mural of Reggie Miller who is the Pacers and the mural had just been completed and I had never been to it and Tj doesn't know Indianapolis so he didn't know that it's like right across from the prison so he like sort of half bent down but he has bad knees and kind of like. Oh my God I fucking love this I actually. I really hope. A prisoner was looking out the window. Being like what the fuck is happening. Absolutely it's one of those like county. Jails were the. They put their arms out thinking out. This is a fucking treat and then a photographer. He had hired a photographer because really sweet way he popped out of nowhere and I didn't know who he was. I was a fucker. You know you're carrying cash on hand now but I've never seen those photos of me yelling at him which I would love to and then went back to my parents house and CJ had flown in his whole family to meet my whole family and then we went to a restaurant. That's like across the street and my parents had like organized this fund dinner in the back room there. That's really that's so lovely. What a dream. I fucking love that it was really fun and Yeah. I just got so drunk in the next day. Was My parents fortieth wedding anniversary? Oh my God which is crazy. That is crazy. I like. Your mom was chilling. Wasn't like you're trying to steal my shine. No no no no no no my mom was like let me get in that shine with my God. That's adorable it's looking. We how do you in? Cj Date before you got engaged rebate at three years. Ooh That's a nice juicy. Long Time I think three years I feel three. We knew each other for eight years before we started dating. Oh yeah comedy. Yeah when Okay Su who asked who out in the beginning of your relationship. Okay so C. J. N. I. Since we were friends I think for a little bit. We were like tiptoeing towards that. But neither one of US knew how to initiate And I kind of like clicked for me right after the election which is like because right after the election. I was like I'm not going to have sex with a white man and for and like I did that. You know he's Filipino. So I really sucked to my word But Yeah I came back I was in Scottsdale Arizona days after the election doing shows which is through. Yes Oh yeah so I got back and then. Cj was visiting L. A. From New York and I'm like come over. We're watching football and drinking and smoking. So he came over and we hung out the whole day when he laughed. I thought we were GONNA make out and I was like fuck is happening. And we didn't and then I went back inside and like said to my roommate at the time I was. I think I like CJ and she was like you have not talked to anyone in our search and so then I went to New York the next week because I was sh shooting something out there and so he came over. I asked him if he wanted to come over one of the nights and I said bring weed and he came over at midnight and he stayed till four. Am and nothing happened. And I was very bombed and then he came and met me out of show two nights later and we're both like actively getting drunk in front of each other just to like get up the well to be able to do it And then we got really drunk and had sex. I Love a love story for the ages and I got I got so this is bat if anyone listening to this podcast. This girl help. I slept through my alarm the next morning and a bunch of people were looking for me. 'cause supposed to be on a scouting shoe oh my God so people were texting. Cj whereas Meghan you were the last person to see our live audience. Murdered me instead. I'm going to marry him. Yeah I didn't know it then I was like. Oh this is weird and then I and then I went back to La and then he kept coming to see me. I love it so you've lived in Chicago and New York in L. A. Yeah which place is easier for dating I think. La is the hardest And I think New York I I had a boyfriend the whole time I was in New York and I did think about cheating on him a lot so I feel like that felt like a good by their Chicago was amazing for dating though just because I was young there though and Chicago is such a drinking and social place But New York is to some extent too I just I think I think Chicago in some ways. I wonder if you think Chicago because you were younger and Chicago. I think New York is easier than La. 'cause I was younger New York. Yeah I just think of L. A. As the place where people come when they're established in a lot of that establishment is like everyone is in couples. Here it's so depressing. It's like it's not like. La People are like no on focusing on work in the grind. They're just already with someone Is Sort of the drawback care. Yeah I guess I have to move back to New York. No but you know when I first moved here. I was like newly single. God I hope. Cj can't hear this and I was such a slot when I hear place to be a slot wear and whispering like someone's listening to me. What where where did you go? How were you slutty? Teach me your way is I mean I guess I was just going to like comedy festivals with Comedians or agents. So the this is bad advice. Yeah I don't think I will Meghan. Thank you so much for that advice but I think I'm going to have to say a thank you because it's tough to find like the dream person in La is someone who gets what you do but then is also passionate about what they do. But it's like nothing like what you do. I think I fully agree and so for a lot of times I. I've always heard an isis say. Look I want to marry a chef like I'm going to be with a chef? I think we all thought that was cool. But it's like chefs are actually more narcissistic than we are and to narcissists together is tough fighting. Wait do you really think a chef is more narcissistic than an actor or do why do I do just because I think well I think they tend to drink and do drugs more than comics comics in La at least and actors are very vain and so they're very vain about what they look like and how they present themselves to the world. But I think of chefs is like I know have race day. Try Me you think I just know about butter fuck you. I am an encyclopedia of Bullshit. Like they just are. It's not a god complex but it is like this arrogant like my knuckles are tattooed. And it's like okay. This is a truly wild theory and I fucking love it. They're just so in Danish chef I always wanted to. Maybe this is why. I'm so angry with them while we have to take a break clip. The makers of the equip electric toothbrush. Weren't you two now. The one single discovery that matters the most in your dental care. It is simply this okay. Are you ready that if you have good habits you are good? The you know what that means that means brushing for two minutes twice a day floss. Aw In between your teeth regularly no matter. What kind of brands you use. But you know what makes it simple starting with an electric toothbrush refillable flaws in anti cavity toothpaste so quips? Electric toothbrush has sensitive. Sonic vibrations and a built-in timer and thirty second pulses to guide you to a full and even clean the quip floss dispenser with Pre Marks. Ring to help you. 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Okay if you visit happy songs dot com slash date me and use the code data at the checkout you get twenty percent off and free shipping on your next order. I'll tell you about. The happy socks are have so. I have some Brian funky colorful socks. Which make me honestly? It sounds stupid. Happy like who? The brand is called happy socks. And when you look down at your feet and you see a Bright Fund beautiful color. You're like I'm smiling. I'm happy so get your happy socks and now we're back awesome. Okay so do you remember how old you were when you first got a boyfriend. Ooh His like. I had like a fake boyfriend in sixth grade. I don't really. I did not have boyfriends really until my adult until my adulthood. Okay so no high school boyfriend. Did you go to college? I don't even know I went to college. I guess technically I did have boyfriends in college. I dated a football player and then I dated a Frat boy were you in a sorority. I was in a sorority which one I was a coyote. Mak- oh I've never even heard of that one. Yeah well at one point. I think it was the second largest women's organization behind the girl scouts of America. Damn but it sororities aren't every every school and then they're also like different everywhere. But I desperately always wanted a boyfriend. I always like in middle school. I hung up. I said hung out with a lot of older people but I mean like I mean like my parents friends. Hang out with my parents and their friends. They would always be like when you get to high school boys. They're gonNa love you and then I got to high school in. That didn't happen. And then they think my uncle was like you're going to be a heartbreaker wants that baby. Fat Melts off. And you get to high school and then the baby didn't melt off and nobody wanted to fucking date me. Yeah I think there is this thing where girls especially girls that are in like their adolescence. Where it's like if you if you seem outgoing then older people are like. Oh you're someone's GonNa like you know. People major terrified him. Yes I think so. They think I'm weird and loud. I recently had a dude. I went to middle school and maybe it was high school. Maybe it was just middle school. I don't know but I had a huge crush on him and he recently just deemed me on instagram. It was like do you remember me? Well I still proud of you and I was like do I answer this man back? Eight never gave me the time of day in school. Well and even him saying like do you remember me given that he never give you the time of day means he knows you remember how You know my thing with. It's like he probably knows you had a crush on him. And it was like do you. Remember. 'cause a grown man would never put their ego on the line like that for like a famous woman to be like no. I don't fucking know you. You're so simone. I'm so glad I didn't say anything. Yeah or you could say to him. I don't remember you I I go through all my. Gm's just answering this particular one to let you know fucking know who you are. You also age like a piece of bread with me on. It looks disgusting. Are there any people that have reached out to you from High School Middle School? That have been like rush on you. Not One person I honestly I mean what posted like old pictures of me from. I was not cute. I had terrible acne. I wear the word like my mom died when I was sixteen. And she didn't let me wear makeup but after she died. I was like guess. Who's going to the clinic counter and I don't have mom and I'm buying Blue Eyes Shadow so I would like just fucking garage door it on my lids like it just wasn't cute. I look bad. At all like my hair weaves were too good who looked good. I guess looking back. Nobody really did. But like yeah. Tons of people have partner or partners boyfriends or whatever girlfriend of course of course US? I always like it was. It made me feel so self conscious and so bad when I was younger to not have a boyfriend that I had to truly make it like. I'm smart like Bentley's things were funny. Yeah Yeah Boys are scared of me. Yeah ways are scared of me. They maybe were but it really. Yeah I really like cut me to my I would. I would hang out with my brother's girlfriend's alive and my brothers are for seven years older than me and so these girls were much older than me and most of my conversations with them with them. Be being like. You're going to be okay. It's going to be. That's so funny you're going to be fine chill out. Don't worry I've gotten a lot of. Dm's post wedding of people that I have not talked to in decades being like I'm really happy for you. I'm in the day. I finally get a boyfriend so many people are going to be like. I was rooting for you. It's not absolutely every time I date. I was going to be like. I don't think you understand. How many people want this to work? Not Me Yeah we have an audience. Yeah fucking audience. People are into it and will and so I was. I was like a big Ho from like eighteen on until I think that is people are happy when Aho gets married to. Yes because there's an iconic phrase that I believe Dr Drey says where he says you can't make a hoe a housewife but you are a exception to the rule. You Got Married yes I actually the right after. Cj proposed me. I took a picture of my engagement ring and tweeted. I guess you can make a hoe a housewife and I guess it was a slow news day the next day my hometown newspaper printed it in an online story. We Really Megan. That is fucking funny. What it's fucking treat. We got since we got engaged in front of that. Reggie Mural Lewin we put it on when you put it on when we put it on Instagram Reggie Miller commented and we read have chatted before commented. I blessed the which is not afraid but I must and so then the newspaper. Pick that up that like. Reggie blessings as culpable but as reference of US being engaged. They put my tweet where I called my self. Oh my God honestly your conic. That's legendary fucking love it. I feel like truly honored truly honor you should. That's honestly the funniest thing that could possibly happen to a comedian. Yeah it's so fucking fighting. Here's a question how they never asked anybody this. How did you decide who's going to be your best honor knowing what fuck maid of honor? Oh my God maid of honor. I've been a maid of honor and I cannot believe I forgot what that was. How did you choose your maid of honor so I have two best friends from growing up like known them my whole life and one is married and one is not and so that slotted really nicely into made in Matron of honor? Oh Yeah. What's a made? A major honours like unmarried friend American. For Yeah I know it's really sad. I mean like we didn't do programs. You know but people are definitely like listed as a matron people around yet because for a while I was like maybe I'll just have my mom and everyone was like you're not a loser. You fucking have friends. Don't let your mom your fucking Megan of honor come on you. Have Friends people will be freaked out for your dresses? Did you make them choose like different dresses or was it one dress that everyone had to wear no? I told them honestly they could get anything they wanted. As long as long as it was like somewhere in the shades of pink. I like that. I like people showing off their personalities. Real cute I don't like Matthew match dress rates. One of my girl like my maid of honor. She were jump Sue Liza traeger. She was a bridesmaid. She wore like a little like skimpy shorts. Sequined number They could really do whatever they want. And why everyone looks so beautiful. I love that I thought cute but one of my matron of honor. She took her dress in to be altered now. This is a dress she has picked. And the alterations woman goes. Wow I guess the bride really hates you. Good that is. I want to see a picture of the stress. I'll send you. I mean when I went in for my first alteration and like when you're getting married you're you're keeping it pretty tight you're definitely trying and there was one part of my body. My Lake lower stomach that I was feeling very very self conscious about because of the trip address I had and the alterations woman walked around patted. My stomach right right felt bad and goes. You've got time if you WANNA do something. Oh my God that is so wild. I didn't realize that happened to thin. People yeah like so my mom and Liza. We're with me. And I like look my head of course snaps up and I catched both of their eyes. Which both of their heads snapped up and the three of us are just making a Bermuda triangle of like. What are we GONNA need us? All feel so uncomfortable that we no one said anything and then afterwards leases like I should have said something. My Mom's like no. I should have said something like everybody was so and I'm like I think it's listen. She was telling me some hard true and I did have some time and I did fix it. Well there you go I guess. Sometimes you just need someone to to let you know. What's Oh. That's so awful. Did you in front of People. It really it. Like it's shook may for sure and then whenever I would tell someone like Liza told everybody and whenever I would tell someone they'd be like what was she thin. It's like no of course not no. She's in the bridal dress business but also they're not GonNa let Stick Thin Women Do Alterations Waco's that's a fucking black Mir episode. But also what a perfect way to get more business you do your fitting and then you go. You have time to fix it and then you have to do another like alteration on it. Yeah yeah well they start the. There's all these crazy things. They measure you every time you go in and if you have gained or lost like too much then you're like charged extra weight really. I think because it's like within two I don't know how much did it two inches. That seems like a lot within something they're like. Yeah that's like typical Labor that we would have to use but if you lose too much and then they're having to work extra Then they're like that costs more. Oh that's so. Wild to be penalized for losing weight. I know or gaming weight but I guess that's the actual world we live in but now I mean now I've just been married and I'm locked in my house for months wits. Like who knows what all honestly. I can't wait to see everybody out of quarantine because I I like you're going to see your friends the first time in like a month or two and you're going to have to like not have a neutral face right for some friends who've either lost weight or gained weight not that like you should be judging their bodies but like that's just a natural human reaction to Jesus Christ you look different but we're going to have to be very neutral and be like it's good to see you. You look the same you look alive. You look like you've been thriving we're GONNA you've been thriving in in quarantine maybe you've been thriving just a little too hard but that's okay. Don't worry we didn't really bad at telling when people gain weight. I'm really good telling people lose weight or got a haircut. I had a friend who had gained. I guess like forty pounds Every time I saw her I was like you look so good like she carried it really well. Her curbs like filled out and she looked. Okay like juicy and voluptuous. I like put my finger on it and then she finally gained forty pounds and I was like oh I like I love. I was like I maintain the compliment. I like issues like okay. I'm just a little self conscious about keep talking about it and I was like. I'm really sorry I couldn't. She looked amazing. Yeah I had a friend once who gained like around the same maybe forty fifty and I had. I had been away with this person. Let's just say that. When I came back everyone was like what happened. And what are you talking about? And they're like that is a very different person and I had no idea I had i. Just I thought too great I think we're just really good friends. Maybe you see someone often enough. It's hard to vary. That's that's why this quarantine is going to be interesting. Because there's people were who who's in your like crew who is in year like quarantine crew. Ashir her man. My Roommate John Millhauser John Mill has my roommate his boycott and Jackson. And that's truly who I've seen in person in the last like five days. Who's in your quarantine grew. My crew is my husband's Cj and then Cara Clang love care. I really miss her. I I mean I get to see where going on walks in and I'm seeing Rosie. Her baby that's who I want to see. I know it's really hard because you can't touch the babies right now. And so the baby I mean Rosie. Maybe it wasn't even. I think she half reached for me. I was like she can't be without on but she you know she was like a dirty leaf. She wanted to put her mouth So I'm seeing Care Rosie. I saw cares husband. Jared and then we have two other friends. But we're not seeing them right now. We saw them at the beginning. And so we're going to then wait a full two weeks and hopefully that's what I'm doing with some other people. Yeah so really. My crew right now is just my husband. If it's really I just there are people that I'm thinking about like there. Were definitely people the night before this like went to lock down mode that we're like I want a divorce and now they're just together well. Apparently there's someone we all. Maybe we don't know a friend of our. I saw someone tweet about this customer tweet about that and I was like yeah who as it is one of our friends yes and then. I also tweeted that. I also tweeted that. I have a friend who was about to have sex with a celebrity and now that can't happen and I will be glad to tell you that off air who I cannot fucking wait. I mean and it's like a fun. It's like a feel good one. This is so this is just really rooting things. Its own very inconvenient. I can't say that enough. This global damage is inconvenient for me to like you. Are you see John and his friend everyday? Yes that's a good crew. It is nice. Do you do apps so yes. I'm on the APPS thing about the APPS right now is like I feel like everyone's kind of on hold on the APPs because it's like what are we gonNA do. We're GONNA talk for what two months a month. I don't know how long this is. GonNa last so I was talking to this one guy who honestly seemed a little gay in his pictures but I was gonNA give him a chance of in corona hit and I was like you know what I don't have time. Well actually. I have all the time in the world but like you don't want to have sex with hanger. I'm not trying to do that and I was like. I don't think I care about what his voice sounds like like. I'm not dead. I was just talking to him because I was like kind of bored. But like even though I'm more board I'm like that lasts interested in the person who bore well and there's I feel like on the APPs. There's people that like only like talk for a long time. Yes and it's like well you. You should not be rewarded right now. Those are the freak. Those are the freaks but those are the freaks. That's like another reason why I'm just not answering anybody right now. Because I'm like what I do is I'll talk to someone. I give them like a week. If you don't ask me out within a week I am Machu or I put you one hundred percent like unhinge. You can like hide people or whatever so. I'll hide them. They haven't asked me out or whatever like move on but I'm like now I don't you can't ask me out. We'RE GONNA GO. Ray Walk six feet apart on a walk. That's insane. I could never now are you. You're on riot. I'm hoping well it took me two years to get on riot. I'm there you are like you are like you know Nicole. You are probably the most famous person I know to children. You should be riots thumb now they would be lucky to have you thank you. It took a very long time. And then also it's truly filled with like Australian deejays like models it's realistic place to like actually go on a date with somebody and I've said it on the podcast already. I went out with someone who then asked me to read their script. No no no no no no no. I mean I've definitely gone out with people in La who have then asked me if they could open for me is and I had. I had to break the news to them of like. I don't sell enough tickets to get to dictate you are. You are barking up the wrong tree wrong. We have you been touring a lot. I have into I really I. I was gearing up for some does link the summer and fall. I was going to be but I have been were. I was writing a show and then I started working on a show and so it was mostly here. Oh I didn't know you're working on a show. I haven't seen you trillion such a long time. I knew but you. You've I feel like I see you enough like social media for me to think that I'm seeing you but then when I when you asked me to do this I was like. I don't think I've talked to Nicole since I was since we got married for your I think the last time we saw each other was fell l. Which was last summer. Yeah yes and it's also like that because for a while we used to see each other every single day baby if you WanNa see that you can watch. Mtv's ladylike which I don't know is it. Is it available anywhere in these times? Make it available for the people. They WANNA see this. The the the script flipped on man. That shoe was wild. Sometimes I forget I was on that show. That happened to you like I owned. We'll be talking about a prank show. I'm like wow prank shows and then I go oh my God. I was on a prank show. Sometimes that happens people say Prank. Show and I'm like I would never. Oh actually I did too lutely did you Blair. We're so good at just like going out and doing it and I'd be like I don't want this for myself Nicole. We were poor nothing we had to. We needed to go and knock on people's foreheads. Knock knock me. We were peasants. We knock people's heads. I mean we were doing. I like member. I remember once like being dressed crazy outside of like one of the most beautiful restaurants in New York. And you're just like Oh my God. My parents love to me like how did I let this? Yeah I did one. I had to drop a box of tampons and I could only ask men to help me pick it up and I was like what are we doing? What are we doing well? I do remember when there were. I mean this is. This is a bummer of a story. But I remember when the French When the terror attacks happened in Paris and I don't know if you were with us at the time but there were a group of us that were in Times Square and we were taking Mardi gras beads basically like rowing them at men as the ticker behind was like terrace shuts down shuts down. And we're just like in Times Square like let's antagonize some people. Oh I was there I was like. I don't think it's appropriate to do this now. This is crazy and they were like you're still doing it. I remember I was wearing a big purple code. I look like yes. Yes yes yes. Yes yes it was you me Blair and Jade Predator soup. I think yeah I think it was the four of us. It was one more. I don't know it was asleep driving around in a big van playing playing pranks on men. It was really. It was a truly wild time but I do. I did love and like so to to the people listening. Don't work in Hollywood when you're on a show you there's food set up for you but unladylike they would shut down restaurants and I loved that Louis. I thought that was so fun. That was very fun because then you just like being arrested and being like I'm here at be here and I would order to things like I was like I'm making so little money that I'm going to order and take home. Oh absolutely if someone else is paying for a meal you get to. I mean unless you're on a date and then that's route well it's like and I'm I'm sure this happens to you in like pseudo business meal. Sometimes you go into it and you're like maybe this is like Split see or I'm paying and then at the very end they pay and you're like I would have ordered more. Here's what I do whenever I go out on a business dinner. I picked the most expensive restaurant I can think of and then I doubt because I know they're paying it's the company in the ASS. I'm technically biting. I'm technically that's like my manager. My agent 'cause like I gave you commission on those jobs so like let's go on my expensive dinner and you pay for it. You know when I do you hit presence from your age. No don't get presents but I do. Well sometimes I'll get flowers when I get a job. It's very nice but I buy them Christmas presents. I buy them bottles of water with my face on it. I love that and you just give them like the variation of liquor that they like. Nope everyone gives percents though nobody gets to be choosy. And if you drink don't open it when we engage. We got a bunch of presence like there were I got. I got champagne. I got really nice champagne from networks. Like thank you. I didn't even know you cared about me. And then when we got the leary when we got married that they were GonNa like what I feel like getting married is harder. The comedy central. I believe sent me a kitchen aid but they but they didn't. There was no card but I think it was from them. That's so nice one time. Netflix sent me a cake with no card. And I put a instagram story up of me. If you WANNA kill me just leave some cake at my door because I ate it without knowing and then finally somebody from Netflix was like we saw your instagram story. It's from us it's only been done. I don't worry about me. Do you think this is relatable quarantine? Contests are talking about. Where do they come from? We don't know we're gonNA take the they just appear and that's how corona started Meghan. We've come to the end and this is a question that I asked most of my guest usually forget. But would you take me Nicole? I would totally date you. One hundred percent we have been through Phnom together which has remained. Shows you to be one of the funniest most delightful people whenever your name comes up? I get butterflies. Isn't that what love is about? That is what what love is all about. Megan thank you. I would love to date you. I appreciate it well. Congratulations on your wedding. Also from instagram I was creeping. You truly looked beautiful in your address you so much. It was a real treat. Well I have no new content so I feel like it's going to be more wedding photos. Posted just gonNA post them all. Honestly I feel like short anyone can get married but not very. Many people can look beautiful while they're getting married so keep posting the fucking contact. 'cause I'll keep double tapping thank you. I totally appreciate it in a call and also. I know that my red lip are that I posted on. Twitter was disturbing to you. Made me laugh so hard and I couldn't believe you were out in public with Rudler. I went to the symphony at a place where people are like. No if you look crazy okay. I know. This is an audio medium but like Meghan didn't use any sort of liner now and it truly look like you put it on during an earthquake like they're straight or like is it still on your twitter itself absolutely still on my twitter. And I'm GonNa like I think maybe that's going to be my quarantine hobbies that I am. I read lips together. We'll you gotTA use okay. What brand was it? It was so it was free off of the settlement Paul's drag race so it was honest us but that should have been fined so for you. I think you need a liner so it doesn't bleed. Yeah and then once. You do the liner. It's easier to like follow the liner around. Your Lips. I okay when this episode posts. I'M GONNA post the picture I had so many people reach. Reach out to me and be like are you okay and like I thought it looked fine like I thought it looked really good and then we were in a car and I go. Let me check yet and then. I took a picture and then. Cj Goes Oh no the pictures weird to me too and then he just made a blurry photo and I know my lips are Fox up. That's Love Ya. That is so sweet to know. It's bad for everybody. Just bad lighting Meghan. Do you have anything you want to promote before we get? Outta here so I have an album out. That's called my dad paid for this and pretty recent so I would love if people listen to that and then I actually have a sports podcast with my husband called the greatest. So if you like sports even if you don't like sports care clank one said that it feels like sports gossip. I love to that like I like. We definitely talk. Shit people get mad at us all the time for our opinions like it's just a fun. It's a fun show. We I mean the next one coming out. It's going to be about like greatest dresser of all time so it's not fully XS and Os. I love that also. I have something to remember. I wrote a book. It's called Hashtag very fed hashtag very brave. The fact girls guide to being brave and not a melancholy down in the dumps weeping fat girl in a Bikini and it's on pre order now in the links abaya or go to Nicole by was taken dot com also have another podcast called newcomers with Oren Laugh. Gas We're watching star wars for the first time and if you send me something nasty to my email which is bacon can save at G. L. Dot Com Bacon the food not baking. If you say something nasty hitting on me I will read it. This says breakfast for one Nicole. I would lay you down on my breakfast bar and gently remove your wig. Put it in the. I would clip your fingers and toenails saying this little piggy for each one you. And then I would add the clippings to the blender then I look for wrottesley finger being new until you came into my cupped hands you ask. The blender blend honorific. I would blend up the concoction important to Martini. Glass in look you in the eye as you laid on my breakfast bar and gulp down every last drop okay by. That took a turn that I didn't see coming. I think that's the one that was like I'm trying to get read on this podcast. I'm GonNa talk about blending her wagon my calm and it worked. Here's another one Nicole. I want to take unnecessary long hair in rapid around you like an Anaconda and squeeze year till you come so hard you call yourself Nikki. That ones that was nice. I like that one I do I too but that other one. That was pretty awful. And it's like what are they doing during quarantine you know. How are they holding up? I wonder I guess they're just sending weird e mails. I have yeah I guess now I feel left out. I don't have any no weird. Emails have been sent to me. No time there's time you gotta you gotta put your your your email address out to the Worl. I cannot do that. Can just put it right out there to the world people's all sorts of terrible things. Yeah I I would like to promote my wicky feet. I feel like my rating is lower than it should be. They can kill these wicky. Deeply stars have great feat looking stars. Also while you're there please give me five stars. I haven't checked it in a while when I first looked I had. I think it was bad feet and then I had okay and it might be stuck at. Okay get get Nicole backup fab. Yeah give me some feet. All right mega. Thank you so much for joining us. Your Goddamn Dream I love you. You're the best you made my day so much. Better okay bye. That was a hate bound podcast.