Ep #01: How My Darkest Moments Led to My Greatest Purpose


hey this is mallory urban and it's time for all of us elaborate bully is so important in this crazy world of arson we stay connected inspired and motivated to be and we are back and that's not always easy i'm here with my guest and friend share the stories and lessons we've learned help you move your best life every day and truly begin living bull let's make it happen again starting with today's episode hallo everyone adam welcome finally to living fully with mallory urban i'm your host mallory urban at i am so excited today to be doing this introduction action episode and launching this podcast it's been a long time coming ad just like all of us in life i have stood in my own way starting this podcast it's such an important message to me an something that i feel like it's part of my life's work and my mission to get this message out there and it is safe to say after recordings several episodes that this is a really really special podcast and one of my very favorite things i've ever done living fully people were like what does it mean to deliver fully what do you even talking about if you guys don't know me from any sort of social media or you to if you don't follow me on instagram you don't anything about my family or my journey i'm gonna give you a quick little glimpse into my life ad why this message is so important to me because i have lift it i lives two different labs one of fear and despair devastation one way i did not want to wake up in the morning i don't want to lives another day at some point when everything got so dark and i have lives on the other side de most vibrant healthy choice full incredible incredible life and they entire world i truly do not envy anyone else's life are i right now i'm living my 'perfect life but it was because of some steps but i took to dramatically change the direction of my life and that's what this podcast is gonna be about because how many live so we have one one you hear that all the time but really think about that i think they say like forty five hundred weeks at the average person lives forty five hundred so if we're here on this earth for forty five hundred weeks we've got to leave this life like tomorrow's are last day and that's my passion among mission andy why this is such an important message to me is before i got really dark from me and i'm gonna share a little bit of my story here in a minute and some things that you're gonna see in the podcast but before before it got really dark to where it was obvious what was kind of going wrong in my life i just felt a little off i just felt like is this the right person is this the right job is this okay i mean i kind of feel like okay about things but it's definitely not great in every success that i cheat in every great thing they came into my life it's like i couldn't even enjoyed i couldn't even lift my life to the fullest because of so many different factors there's so many different factors will talk about on this podcast how we all stand in our own ways an how we all we prevent are sales from living her life so the fullest and i really can't say that enough that we have the power you have the power every every single person listening to this to turn your life into something just insanely incredible andrew the only person that could do that it's not gonna be a partner or spouse or a self help book or a weekend somewhere those things can always help it being inspired me and motivated this wonderful that's why you're listening to this podcast probably you kind of want that little push and you want that and you're like what is this all about it's just me okay how could you fix me that wasn't me but like a million years how can you help me help myself but it's it's all within all of us an it's it's the most important walk you'll ever take so a little bit about mass story i grew up in western kentucky on the oldest of twentythree first cousins we grew up on this tiny little farm an as a role model an achiever a star in my community from the very start and this is i think where i started setting myself up for a little bit of disaster achievement is great being a role model is incredible but once you start using those things as like you're source of love and and feeling like if you fail or if you don't get first place at something that you life is over that's a red flag so i started seeing country music at a young age and i became kind of dislike pillar in my community also so here i am the oldest of all these kids i am a happy child i'm ours ours you know valedictorian in my class and i cheated all the success at a young age of everything that like a young person can achieve you know i did it nfl attaching myself to success and perfectionism and i'm lightly glossed over those things those are very serious things but that's not the part of my life where things got really dark in that part of my life is really bright just like a lot of things i don't think that they become harmful until you start abusing them or until like they've been around for a long time that's when they become the demons that that can really destroy you and derail your life so i went onto swannee the university of south i i majored in theater but i always want to pursue a career in country music i came back and forth in nashville from the time i was twelve i recordings cds open for big bands that you know saying national anthem nb eight playoff games and you know had a lot of great opportunity as a young child i always thought thought that's what i wanted to do it didn't even drink and college which is funny because that became one of my vices a little bit later in life an i i was cheever and and everything but thanks to release start taking a turn for me i started drinking like my senior year of college maybe there were some red flags in the way that i was i was but you know nothing anything different than any of my friends and after college me being being the the big dreamer that was i decided that i wanted it in america pageant kind of out of the blue if you guys are familiar with the miss america pageant thirty five percent of the score is talent so for me being a singer i was like you know what this isn't amazing role roll you get to work for the state i could work for the state of kentucky aca traveling speak to schools like all day every day had a lot of influence and and really get to do this cool thing in my community so after a couple of years i i wanna miss kentucky patchett and i went on to miss america now is run up in miss america in two thousand and ten ten minutes all of this insane success for a twenty four year old that is when my life began to slowly unravel that's when the darkness felt like it was coming over my life which was so bizarre because it was a time of such light at a time of such success here i was a cheating my dreams at a really young age and and succeeding in an really a pillar in my community in a positive role models and so many kids and able to do a lot of great things but this was the time in my life where things just really really starting to get dark and when i talk about darkness you know i wanna just qualify myself here for a second because a lot of people look at my life now on instagram or you to an they see a totally different picture then it was those those days all those years ago when i talk about darkness it was real real darkness it was i don't want to wake up in the morning darkness i'm worthless i am destitute and i feel like i just can't take another day it's it was that kind of stuff and it was it was the most pivotal few years in my life is that the beginning of the spiral that that kind of darkness it got worse and worse and worse to the point where it was obvious to the people around me that something was drastically wrong with me and the way that i was living my life it was like the life got sucked sucked out of me and you have to be to that point to be listening to this podcast you can be kind of at the beginning of that journey where you're sitting in a job and you're like something doesn't feel right about this i'm not happy i feel like i'm i'm this dead end job and on the weekends all wondrous party all weekend forget about having a go back to work on monday or benjamin out on netflix and not doing anything this bettering myself are taking care of myself or or bringing me real joy i'm just like nothing coming out all this stuff that just doesn't feel right sometimes it could just not feel right and that's how i started but then it got worse hand i'm gonna talk a lot to not a lot but i'm i'm definitely gonna touch on because it's a huge part of living life to the fullest you can't come out the bad stuff you know i'd like to hear that because i was like oh yeah yes i can because then it'll just go away and on the deal with it but i'm here to tell you as the queen of the numbers that i i used to be the queen of the the numbers when i'm not all that bad stuff with sleeping medication medication keep me awake the next day it known that every single bit of the good also and you could be using alcohol using sleeping pills you could be the netflix you could be using food you could be using shopping you could be using gossiping you could be using procrastination there are so many flavors of numbing so you know think to yourself an eye in that phase of my life a little bit where things are quiet riot and what am i using to them so for me this became the beginning of that spiral i couldn't sleep at night i couldn't stay awake during the day because i had so much anxiety and stress i was doing so much in my life trying to achieve and over achieve be on what i had just done i would not say no to anything solves running myself ragged and i was literally taking enough medication to kill a cow an i thought because of doctors prescribing and all that everything's okay well it wasn't okay and i spiraled borrowed majorly out of control i literally almost had a heart attack i almost died from the health issues that that all brought on an end when i got to the point where it was kind of like am i gonna liver am i gonna die thank goodness for me i got professional help end went through the most amazing journey with the most amazing therapists did amazing programs an i came out on the other side of this looking back and i was like astounded how did my life get to that point how in the world did i go from this vibrant happy amazing human being with everything at my fingertips achieving all of the success how did how in the world did i become this person ad i'm here to tell you that it could happen to any of plus maybe not this level to you but you can slide into that version of life that's just cruising by you conseil added that version of life that's just yeah okay i'll i'll wake up at ten thirty in the morning and i'll do a few things during the day and an everything's fine yeah of course i like my boyfriend yeah my job spawn what do you do it on the weekend i don't know probably go into the bar every night you slide very easily into a very fine way of life an you know for me it got it got bad and it got terrible before i had to then make that dramatic change before you doesn't have to for you you can go from fine and mediocre an you know life's okay to the most amazing most vibrant most incredible full life you've ever seen anybody listen i'm living proof of it i've seen people do it by using these tools and these methods i've seen it with my own eyes and i'm just here to tell you there's nothing that i believe more then you have control over that and that's a lot of what we're gonna talk about in this podcast cast you know my journey that was about six years ago still to this day i don't use any of those agents i don't drink i don't take anything but i anna biotic and the tylenol i so i literally don't even have accessible so those agents to me but yes i have my flavors of numbing but i am i had all the tools and i know when i'm using those things tonight deal with something or to to move on past something and i have a heck of a lot of other tools then i gained from the deepest darkest moments of my life coming out of those moments added that's what i'm here to share that's what i feel like my mission in in my calling is because there's nothing that i want more this entire life than every single one of you this listen to this podcast to be like you know what i was actually like listen to this podcast one time this girl said this one thing and then i did this and then like here goes your own journey like two completely separate from me and you changed her life look at how many people have that story be oprah's and the tony robbins and the you know all of these just these people these these people that have achieved such great success under such big thinkers drinkers and motivators they all came through something like like i'm talking about today and maybe you've been through maybe you know someone that's been through an you know living fully it's just it's such and important thing to me at it is obscene to a lot of other people may not call it living fully but i saw these people out and i've done podcast with everyone from my dad who is a sixty something year old huge in normal terms of success success but he's the person that stands on the other side is like you know what it's not all about money and it's not all about this and it's all about that he now now is climbing he's trying to summit all the seven summit there's only four hundred and fifteen people in the history of the world who have done this at he's done five he was supposed to be on his sixth one right now but he had like a near death experience on his last mountain and came back with a lot of life lessons from that one this is a really cool journey because as he climbs each of these mountains he talks about life lessons and he writes down life lessons to pass on his grandkids ford right now there's only grandchild but i'm pregnant with another child so he's about how to and more here tonight i'm sure ad he has the most amazing wisdom of how to leave her life to the fullest that is like one of my favorite podcasts that i've done so far so look for that one one of friends ashley lemieux she talks about living fully through suffering and pain an unexpected tragedy ad loss you know for me i i didn't have like the thing that got ripped away from this tragedy a lot of people do someone gets cancer turn your family you lose a loved one you're children taken from you know there's so many unexpected things happen and people's wives and it's like had to move on from this how canal in my life how could i possibly living my life to the fullest when i've been handed this this card and she talks about that in it is powerful because you have to you don't anticipate that things are gonna go wrong but life is life an things going wrong in bad things happening is totally a part of life if you're not feeling anything ever going wrong and another bad ever happens and you need to get your shit because it's just it's part of life ad it's amazing podcast and then my friend jessica turner she is this amazing author author who wrote this book called stretched too thin she just talks about whether you're a mom or a college student or just anyone that feels like you are just run ragged she talks about everything from self care to this really lee amazing thing that like i had an aha moment about the mental load the mental load is basically like all these thoughts all these things we have to remember whether it's for your family or your spouse or you're job and how that could really take a toll toll on you if you can't really get things in check it's just you know just this really really amazing podcast on kind of how to love well in the midst of the chaos of life and then i every quarter one west my husband kyle call and i if you guys watch her youtube channel you know we appear a lot together and he's a big part of my content but colonized while we have the most amazing healthy just deep special beautiful relationship now we have also been through quite a journey an end there's nothing more important you hear people say this all the time and it is so true there is nothing more important than the people that you choose to spend time with people can suck suck the life out of you people can totally de rail you from living your life to the fullest ended the most important person is in my opinion if you had a significant other thinking how much time you spend spend it with them that isn't important decision and that is an important relationship it affects your life so deeply every single day and i'm gonna talk a lot about relationships with you're you're parents friends or you're children or or you're husband or wife boyfriend girlfriend you know whatever it is that you have an you know how important it is to really look problems square in the face when they come at you especially if you're new in a relationship how rushing little things under the rug and brush and little things under the rug and brushing little things under the rug can create this mountain and create can create this resentment that you didn't react from when you're speaking you're spouse and when you have any kind of problems like you can totally totally determined the course of your relationship and like i said you're relationship is pretty critical to you everyday living your life to the fullest so to really affect you're happiness ant colony i just have so much knowledge through amazing things therapy and this amazing journey we've been on full of like honesty and you know forgiveness and just gosh we've been with each other like in the trenches and he is just ma he's truly like my soulmate today in my biggest supporter and cheerleader but we've we've crafted this relationship we have today and i'm gonna do a lot of podcasts on that to you're gonna see some podcast will just me but you're gonna see some pretty amazing guests on these podcasts as well an we are all going to the best we can cause we're just hearing existed in this world just like all of you guys but we're gonna share all of our journeys and are stories of of how we've learned to deliver lost to the fullest how we use these tools to make are labs full of joy and happiness and all of the beautiful things of life every single day and i am excited about this i truly cannot wait i know that this this is gonna this is gonna be an amazing community because there's nothing but i like more than being around a group of people that are looking at a better life nothing gives me more energy add more for inspiration and more motivation this is truly what i feel like one of the things i felt like i was meant to do an i appreciate everyone that's listening to this today i appreciate your patience as we've really tried to launch this right this such an important thing to me this is such an important message because you know i can sometimes remember those those days in those nights where i wasn't living my life like i am now an had i not come out on the other side of this had i not been just like hit over the head with life was my whole entire life like that i may have lives my whole entire life however long it lasted just kind of wasting away being just fine and i do not want a single person listening to this podcast to look back at the end of their life and so he was pretty pretty good is fine i want you at the end of her life think wow i left a dang good legacy and i want you at the end their life i want the people you're grandchildren and you're friends and all the people that love you the most when people ask them you know who's the person that you love and admire the most who is that salt of the earth person that that you know you love to be around i wanna say you andy you have the power to become that person every single one of us do i never said that i said that the beginning but i i wanna say it here at the end because i want to encourage you to continue to listen to these and if they're ones that don't speak as as much to you they're gonna be a lot of different subject covered in a lot of different types the people that are gonna come onto this podcast ad i encourage you to come along on this journey with us on living fully aunt that we all may you know lift fully together and i'm just so grateful grateful that you all here listening i would really appreciate especially since this is the very beginning i would really appreciate you guys leaving a comment below in the reviews an giving this sort of you that's gonna help other people see this podcast an i am a big believer in my community that is the reason that i have had any sort of success across all platforms with because of all of you all of you guys brought me here and brought me to the top every single time so this is such an important one to me it's be most important thing that i feel like i've done so if you guys could do that for me it would literally literally just like make my entire i hate to put a time stamp on it but like year it just it would just like really really make my day in an i'm just so proud to be able to be even a small voice in this community of people that are trying to do good in the world thank you so much for listening and check out the next episode thanks for joining us on living fully with mallory urban and remember to subscribe so you don't miss a single minute of encouragement an inspiration to living your best life one more join us on mallory urban dot com

Coming up next