Open your hearts and loosen your booty hoes. It's time for couples therapy. Yeah this is where they can hang with talk at exit vacationing with brunches and cousin linked to messy situations. Conscious uncoupling from netflix. To stable the whistle mulu tech sex regret solve illinois new. Jubal you eating therapy baby weekday you heard one and welcome the couples therapy. My name is andy. I m naomi. we are real life couple. Couple of comedians and odd couples therapy in twenty twenty one. Twenty twenty one. We answer a couple different questions from a couple different listeners. Now me my what's up. I mean we're coming to them humbled injured. I just had our first physical examinations with a medical professional boy for the first time since at least twenty nineteen early thousand nineteen good high. Cholesterol needs a follow up appointment to tackle the rest of her issues. So we are really you know it's time to make a change. It's so funny. So i got my lab results just as some candy naomi some some vegan. Gumy's naomi arrived. I'm just like looking at them into looking at my test. Results will commit that look. I'll tell you what though the cholesterol is. Not that apple. I don't know what the metric is. Something's or whatever like a handful over the top end of five over the top end something like that. I think one of them was not know. I need you to live forever. Yeah okay. I'm always supposed to be the first to go think i'll be honest. It's a genetic thing. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I agree you really are eating cheese. The way you used to know. And you're vegetarians. Are think it's just gonna be safe. Yeah yeah. I think it's genetic because my grandfather died of a heart attack. Wow okay the another beckerman illness. Beckerman bloodline is v. delicate. I don't know what would possibly give him a heart attack. I don't know was like fighting in world war shoe on normandy you. I'm sure that didn't damage him. That's give him high blood pressure. That was just a bruce workout. Yeah i've seen saving private ryan. That seemed like nothing. That was joe. Chilin fund it was the time to get together with your buds. Yep grandpa beckerman. Nothing nothing really. Ib immigrating from europe to escape pogroms. Was it do what could possibly give it. You stress stress xactly. Jeez louise. But i didn't look i went into the doctor with with a dang doomsday. Scroll i said. I have a lot to discuss. I've made a lot of mistakes and literally. She was like okay. We don't have time for all of this. I'm gonna need you to follow up. And so in the interim what. I imagined him. It was someone with like one of those long trump anything's may and then you unroll. The scroll before i got in the the problems. The scrolled is rolls down the like almost like a red carpet of red carpet of illness. I stood in the hallway. Yeah i said in the hallway and she just kinda read it. And i just said any thoughts that you read you hang at the truth. She really did. She was like. I want you to live. It was like wow what a medical professional looks you in the eye and says i want you to live. It says come with me if you live in like all right all right. It's time they my dearest. My love my sweet betrothed for the rest of our lives may be longer than the doctor tells me they will be. Who's our guest on today's episode. Oh this is a fun. Would we are talking to the hilariously. Wonderful solomon giorgio. Hell yes yano solomon. You've got to ask somebody solomon stand up using him onto queens kenny. Solomon a writer he's written for shrill high-fidelity so many others salom is a gift to us. He also co hosts. The new los angeles live show called the old days at spoke bicycle. Cafe and that is a monthly show. The may show will be coming up. Soon follow solomon together dietz. You'll be on that one right. I believe i will eat for show in the world. So huge. If you live in los angeles and naomi has not done stand up live in over a year and you wanna see ya what happens coming out yet. It's also outdoors outdoor so even though says cafe outdoor space so you'll be masked and safe or not. Hey the cdc says you don't have to as long as it's not a lot of people around honey. It's going to be back. Well there's literally triple masks basco your eyes your ears and over your mouth before we get. Solomon you guys a couple of things. I had to tell you about solomon show already told you also also also you know you girls hosting a second podcast. Now it's called. I love a lifetime movie and yes it involves watching lifetime movies and recapping them. I hosted with the hilarious. Megan gailey who you may have heard on this show before and we're just having a good time. These movies are kuku bananas. If you are interested you can listen us discuss such movies as sleep. Walking in suburbia about woman was sick. Omnia pool boy nightmare which is about a murder she smelled. You can hold. Liz at one on dodge gonna say like going to let you say let them figure out whether it was really fake because honestly could be. I'm you can also talk to how. I met your murderer which is about a podcast or in the clutches of a murderer. I mean there's so much to do so if you're interested in just look up. I love a lifetime. Movie. it's a good time episodes. Drop every thursday. So you know couples therapy on tuesdays. I love a lifetime movie thursdays. We got a good week ahead. And no matter where you are whether you are in tibet or berlin tonight at we're doing another live streaming show who couples therapy quarantine party colon. Chemotherapy maybelline party now. If you follow the saga you know mabel. Just had a mastectomy and got the all-clear no cancer in the breast tissue removed. But because she has had three tumors prior to that she is undergoing chemotherapy so we are doing a live streaming show with guests just like we did for the one year anniversary at typewriter dot com on may twenty second at six. Pm will have guests will have fun. If you'd like to send an vice question you can do it. Make video no more than two minutes while. Yep yep you don't have to be in it you can film your dog while you ask the yup advice question you can someone. Last time very enterprisingly. I will say paid for sam. Taggart friend of the show friend in real life to do a cameo asking the question on their behalf. A question on behalf. That was beautiful. So there's so many ways you can do this and send that video to couples therapy pilot g mail dot com and then watched the show on the twenty. Second get tickets. They're only like five bucks. Yeah five or ten whatever you wanna do albro helping mabel thank you. Proceeds go to medellin. So who sleeping right now. you know. She doesn't even know no she sick. And that's beautiful. She is powerful. She is hopeful. She is energetic. And we should all be a little bit of maple lane. I mean look. I don't want to be irreligious. You could say. She is a goddess. Oh absolutely absolutely and he has caught me calling her my true love and obviously like are you talking to the dog and i guess i am. I think it might be time to get to the wonderful. The brilliant solomon giorgio love of my life. Jk jk. i think i'm gonna say rollet now. Can i tell solomon about how he's a safer. What's a cipher. is that like a. It's one of the men he can he can. He's the one that translates yes. That's right which would be deciphered. But it's just called cipher by right exactly superpower naomi. What do you mean to me. Cypher is like a thing in codes. But for what do you mean by cypher. I can't quite pin him down. What's going on under the surface of solid back. You know what. I mean because he projects he projects glamour poise grace the highest confidences but. He's also a comedian. So i know so. That's not true. I think you're out what's well between the hours of seven. Am to six pm. I should upon myself okay. Then between the hours of six to five am. I you could. You can't tell me nothing you can tell me anything at all dare you. Yes you're self aware wolf. Not he's good. I'll allow it. i'll allow it in the evenings. You come alive but essentially what it is. Is that whenever. I am down my way of lifting my spirits up a series of condescending condescending self affirmations so by the end of the day i do feel like the most powerful bitch alive. Okay beautiful okay. So it is you work on it from the top of the day to sundown. Maybe i should try that. Because i've just been sleeping. Yes and you should leave but you can also do it in your sleep. I i i. I even pose while i'm sleeping. Cool no you know. We're going to be answering relationship questions though i so we like to. You know find out. Our guests like kind of what their views on relationships. What's your entire history. What i've been saying lately guest is. We're going to start the very beginning. Yes you i. B f all the way to the last or current okay granted. There's only one so it's not going to be very long. Wait is that you don't have time for these hoes like hot like you. Don't i imagine that. Not a lotta dudes. Tickle your fancy. Absolutely no a lotta. Do tickle my fancy. I tend to the more. I think the more emotionally unavailable. Somebody has the more attracted i to them. And that is an issue because when somebody is one somebody's nice to me and attracted me. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with. You wait wait. Oh it's probably because i'm broken. But no i know there's just i definitely dating is something that takes up so much time and i'm very like i don't i don't suffer fools and there are a lot of fools yes yeah. That's why i'm like even though you've never been anything but nice to me. I'm scared interacting with you because i know you do not suffer fools lightly and ninety percent foolish. That's true. it's. I think you think you're foolish but i have to. You have to understand. There are real fools out there and you. You're not one of them neither of you. I think that's i think that is sort of a double edged sword of my personality. Is that people who aren't fools are afraid that they're fools and are too afraid of me because i guess it's true actual falls or not afraid to be foolish. They have no idea right up to me every time now. How long did you have. You lived in la. Have you been a creature of the dark dark town. Gosh it's been a decade this year. It'll be ten years in october. So yeah it's been a long time now. Do you feel like because we're around the same age like what your style is like. This is the most i've ever seen. You be like just like katie. Cork like like a real like a question about this. Really jiminy glick. Now when you're dealing with a celebrity you have to speak to the show win you bring the ground damon you have to have to bring in your interview skills. Solvency me at my absolute worst game. Show so i have no i have no. I could not have eaten more shit. I you may have left before we did. The went had to run to a flight. Which i said was our booth yes. I wasn't a flight but to do the show at other words. Oh i gotta go you like. I thought it was going to be as long as it was. I thought it was going to be like most shows which is like an hour. And i've seen bishop for sure but i think oh what's running late. I'm like oh. I probably should've i also just mismanaged my time. It's really it was. It was me along lines going. I've got fly tonight. I got a flight this evening. Then i still said yesterday. So you've seen me totally chit. So i have no more shame anymore in this interaction or any of our future interactions. I don't think there was anything you to be ashamed of. I know if it was my entire existence to be. I assure you he runs on shame. I i understand but you have to to. You're competing with what what other game in of scene of straight men and it is a very. The bar is so low. You don't you don't have you. Don't have the takes takes you have to you have to actually put the work in to go under the bar. That's good and my limbo skills are not very good so nambi. sorry. I interrupted here. Go ahead you know half asleep so trying to do the opposite of what brain wants to do wants to do is go solomon go questions. But there's gotta be you ask them question. We got company l. Seventy so you've only had one boyfriend but You hooked up often. Yes i've i've said sex many times from from the times you've been on the show. Casey talked about tonight. Wild knights in los angeles and surrounding areas. I've done those wild knights and i'll do them again. What like like casual sex is always been very. I don't like all the like chitchat. And it's not like. I have like a large rolodex of casual sex partners. But like it's just like there's too much of the getting to know you stuff. It's what what about that appealed to you versions. I barely know any of their first names. That kind of chit chat. Do you think i'm having over here. What kind of discussions like. I don't know their names. First or last fair okay. I'm sure i heard at one point in the evening. But there's no there's no retaining information it's like it's like being an elevator. Somebody asking you to talk about the weather. You're not gonna hold any information be. Was that dick bat. And then you see where that dick sat and then you just go on with your life now to my question because i was kind of wondering you know we're we're around the same age where like i guess what i'm asking is sort of. When did you sort of come into your own as like a dating and stuff. I guess i would say like. I didn't really date you know. I dated like after college. You know what i mean and then like kinda did like a little bit of that but didn't really know what i mean like it was. It was a little late to the game. Someone uh well for me. Because i was just so socially awkward When i first came out. And i'm like a lot of my confidence that i have now is definitely through. Stand up because i definitely was very very afraid of talking to people And so i think for me. It was just yeah just dating wise. It's probably was like a few years into my career so like like thirty thirty in my when i turned thirty. Plus that's what i like. And then i'm i was out. I'm still have some apprehensions. I still am intimidated on in one on one conversations but case it's just i'm definitely i'm definitely i definitely move with more certainty now than i used to. Yeah that's wild to me thirty plus because you're a tall beautiful black man. They were throwing dixie. You know they weren't decade really. Oh also. I think that would probably translate very well if i was probably heterosexual but i don't think It didn't it didn't translate it's well i also don't don't like being criticized i'd be like i can definitely you can feel that energy for people and i definitely especially don't like it when people sue might be aggressive in bed baby. I'm lazy as fuck. You're going to get you're gonna get what you get. I don't wanna talk to you. I don't wanna talk. Sounds like this is a performance. You celebrate. I'm also lazy and i'm not afraid to admit it i like i feel like especially now more and more people are like. Yeah more so happy. I definitely love. The people are expressing themselves sexually. But i'm like hey there's still some of us that are like no fanfare. I call it sex negative. I'm staying neutral. That's exactly what it is. All these young sex positive kids out here. And i said how to lay down and you could join me or not. I'm not gonna choke anybody. I am not joking. Nobody grab things i'm like. Let's just laid. We're laying down. Why are we in ruining laying down like what was that. There was like a moment. There was like a moment of like a year or two. We're like everyone was like choking everyone here. I think it's been awhile of. I think i think choking choking has been a discussion in the year and it's one of those things where i'm like. I'm so supportive of anyone. Who's into it but i just don't expect anything of me. Sure you'll get like a salt like head tap or oh good low word if you want like a shoulder i can do like a like the light pressure circular rub on the back. But like i think it's because something like that like choking sub would it would i. I would just be afraid to do it. Like i've never so i wouldn't know my own strength. It's the way i feel about pegging. I've afraid to peg. Because i i wouldn't know my own strength. It's an additional stress. I don't want sex to be stressful. That's the point of sex is. I don't want to stress in it. And that's and that's a big relief of stress so that makes sense to them but for me it's like this is we're not. I'm not coming today. I'll tell you that you making me do yourself. I'm not coming right. let's by the way sex. Negative insects neutral isn't about a quote unquote yukking someone else's yum. Say you do your thing. Right lay down lay down. This is not even. it's. I'm being tender. I think that's the thing is i like being. I like being tender in bed. I that's my preference is tenderness because the world is harsh. I i give my ass be from more than two nights. Can i get some tenderness. Efi we all i ask. Can we say we're tender positive. Then we're tender box. Tenderness positive asked to be the next movement. Yeah tenor arroni's tender onis. We are taking their own movement so wait. How long did you have a boyfriend for then about a year and a half. He was a very like his first relationship for the both of us. Not ill timing. And how we dealt with things terrible communicating and obviously. He didn't appreciate me as much as he showed of. The greatest bitch alive truth is just one is yeah just. It didn't work out for in for numerous reasons. But mostly because i just i don't wanna do this. No more right right. Is there also like a kind of like you. Seem like a pretty like focused ambitious person to when it comes to both stand up and writing and and and also you were saying you were like dating is a lot of work. I noticed that right out the gate. You were like it's work. That's that's not somebody who's trying to have a plus one hanging on. I wouldn't mind it at all. I need. I need somebody who just kind of has everything in line with themselves. I don't even like it doesn't matter what money wise. I don't give shit about his matter. Career wise or just sort of just seventy who just doesn't need me making decisions for them. That's like somebody who can who just can take the an active role And because i'm i'm i am ambitious person. I am and so somebody has to be of equal ambition. I don't give a shit that admission is just you have to be alive. You have to be like and it's and it should be at night. Because i find that mission to relationships as well because i definitely don't think of being relationship something i don't i don't take it lightly so that's why i don't do it. Yes a So you don't care if they wanna be like the number one welder. No i long as they want to be the number one what they as long as they doing it on their own or guards and there's a way for us to 'cause i like coexisting i like making i like making things i like. I love collaborations I just don't like it when it's like it's like i don't want to be in the same thing as me. I don't wanna. I don't think i and that very smart hold onto that. Okay no matter how much she loves them. We always ambitious or is that just something. That's kind of like you ve been infected by. No i was always. I was always a dream. I always would think and i think for me. I always liked to do the work. Towards the things that i fantasize about. I just never have any intention of them becoming real like through status. Like oh. I could do this thing that i really liked doing. And i can fantasize about where it can take me. And then i'm like i'm getting paid for this now. Oh where to put me on tv. Oh i'm going to write for television. i didn't. I did all the work. But i didn't expect this getting a paycheck for something is always surprised. Got one in the mail. Oh jeez yeah. I thought i thought it was just having fun. But yes not imposter syndrome. 'cause i don't think it's that i think it's more along the lines of i feel like i got away with a scam. Yeah and i'm gonna. And i love scam. So i'm gonna keep scamming writers guild feel like a day of scam like when i look at the paycheck for a week of writing. I'm like fucking idiots. Especially i just a week where he just pitching in the room like all i did was talk this week. Like dovish always that feeling but was moved to l. a. Moved here wanting to do the thing. Do you know why you want wanted to be here. I was like the will also like the things were happening in my career. That kind of i wouldn't. I wouldn't have done the move unless i was like. Oh there's some potential stuff happening. It took five years for that potential sub to kick in and pay money. But that's essentially what it did. But yeah i was always. I was always in bishops. I always think like and it's just. Yeah just yeah. I didn't expect anything. But i still work towards it and i think that's a good like mentality to have is to all just not working towards something. It's kind of just like boring like wow. I truly feel attacked. I certainly do not work towards things. And i know i will have will. Also i consider fantasizing working towards something. Okay well that's day-dreaming as part of working towards your s to the side What's that thing with. The secret fasting. Okay yeah yeah okay there. You could say secret but i love i love. I love when people like manifested. This and you're like you did everything to reach that goal. I don't know what you think. Manifesting means but you did everything you work towards it and therefore it happened. So i don't know if that's manifesting. That's because that's not magic. My dad is a famous producer. He helped me manifest. Oh god i manifest and my first feature film added manifestation visualization. That's i have a theory that when someone's in this town says they manifested something. They just don't want to tell you that they're like their uncle is the head of mgm. Manifesting is code for. I am connected idaho. Get idaho that america has a hookup and like especially if you're young you're white and you don't seem that bright walking. How do you pay your bills right. Like i've never heard you mentioned a job. You don't seem to go anywhere during the day. And yet you have an apartment you have a hookup. You have a hookup. There's no way in there too. Many people having secret hookups. Which i feel like. I didn't find out until more friends of our started to have kids because i was like you booked one commercial two years ago tiled monday. Oh you got parents. Got some money in that avenue. Tesla on tv got repaired have hooker. I well i think comedy tommy me that to the amount of santa means i'm like how do you own things you don't. Yes oh my god i had. I had nothing. I had nothing for so long. I had so little all fit in the corner for years. Yeah i mean. How do you get past i. I mean i don't mean how do you get past like the resentment but never but i'm like how to come here to do any of this stuff especially like i don't come from money and it was the only reason we moved out here because he got a job and i don't think we would have if either of us hadn't gotten a job we wouldn't have come out no way no way. How like. how do you get the courage to come ten years ago. What was it that like gave you that. Well you guys were in new york. But she's you right from new york so it kind of like because you've seen but the city with an industry city with the ceo. And i was in seattle and that's the city with no industry. So you have to so those are the those are the cities where you have to make the decision to move to. La or new york. And nothing's going to happen with your career right. Yeah like very few of us have gotten picked up on stuff from our respective cities. Like ron fudges guy like a budget work from portland before we moved to la. But that's not gonna happen for all of us. Yeah yeah i always forget your from seattle. I don't know why. I'm always thinking something else because my other thing is like because i love one of the first one. That's how you do stand up. You did so many jokes about your mother. So you understand. Black mama drama. So that is very important to me but also to like you have three brothers and they or in relationships like i know there's at least one one you'd like one niece or nephew like i feel like they're very like settled grow. There's one of them living with me. And he's just he's just he's a he's a he's only lose one fan. He's only fray in this current climate. Yeah like the mid nineties From central crunch crunch andy. The mid nineties. Yes yes you were in the epicenter nirvana and mud honey and pearl jam. Honey was a band River band and said why people galore. As far as the i can see never ending. It's like what are you sad about the music that how that works but like i guess i'm saying that. Did you feel that pressure. Like i know i feel like this name of my mother was growing up. The way i did was like if i was going to do this. I had to be successful. There was no in between because not only would have been would have been a sort of ego bruised but like i remember when my mom said to me i was in new york and i'm i think i was like between temp jobs. Something and i'm kind of doing stand up at night. But obviously she's like bar shows whatever and she literally said to me straight up. She goes naomi. I did not work as hard as i did for this to your life very serious rice so it was like well. There's literally no way for me. I have to like make this my living. There's no way. I can just like keep doing a barsha and still get love from my mother. Did you have that pressure. Mine was actually spite us. I was more along the lines of. Oh okay i'm improve. I'm gonna prove you fuckers rock. You guys sudden you don't you what are you doing. Is this what you want your life to be. I'm like you know what bitch you're going to eat these words and now now give money and she's like you know what i think. What you do is wonderful. Lots of compliments coming now that she got bills paid for. Was there a moment where that spite were like. You felt like despite spite had been fulfilled despite know. There's there's so many people that the great thing about this country is that will give you so many things to be spiteful about so it's a never ending the tank is always full. This is where i feel like. We connect resentment. Yeah it's never we're going to keep it's like at this point become like a god. I think i will have to keep going. Yep yep yep hey reach those clouds clouds where is it. God live the stars. I've never heard afraid to reach for the clouds. Andrew because in my mind. Zeus i say more living in olympia in the clouds. That's what i pictured. Oh what no one else pictured solomon zoo in the client look. I'll accept clouds. I just feel like that's a weird place for the gods live. It's like you can't even see people from that far. Mount olympus i in my mind man olympus. There are clouds around the top where you are. You're in a toga. You're holding a lightning bolts. Probably wearing a fur coat cold up there. It is no amount and just a toga. What the fuck are these. God's doing shit. I really wanna see that now. Your version of zeus but solomon but make it fashion fake for obviously but but still i wasn't gonna need the installation of course. Okay okay. this feels good. I feel like i'm ready. Do you feel ready in. Yeah i feel pretty good feel do you feel like i'm i'm happy to answer people's questions and just give them the wrong advice. All right we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back after this. Hey y'all breaking into the show very quickly to just give you three pieces of information if you would like to support the show. There are a couple of different ways. One of them is our patriots. Now i love doing this. We we just get to like sit on the couch. And i really dig in to our feelings we dig into our feelings. We dig into our lives. We're really mining our love for content. If you're into that you can go to patriot dot com slash couples therapy pod for five dollars you get two bonus episodes a month and tons more bonus content. The other way you can help us out is viable merch. We've got awesome. T shirts don't we. Hey look you know me you know in my little indie rock heart. All i ever wanted was cool t-shirt and we finally got him now. We got him. We got him. We got the the cool new design of the logo and we've got Got to miss a pitch t shirts. Yes indeed and now if you want to help us out without spending a dime what you're can do rate the show. Subscribe to the show review the show done across no money. Take you two minutes and it really does help us out. If you go to apple podcasts. And do that. It's it's actually a huge help to subscribe to the show and obviously review it positively. Oh sure. I'm not asking for like seriously feedback. So you can be supported. That would be great. Yes we have voids inside us. Yeah endless voids that need positive reinforcement absolutely or. Let's fill that void by getting back to the show. We're back here to give you the wrong advice with solomon jer. Then that is what i'm into now. Andy what what is our first version of because as you know all solid. Maybe don't know we get dm's on instagram and twitter. We get emails to couples. Therapy prodigy dot com. We get voicemails and voicemails are my favorite. Because you can really hear where someone's emotional. Why my dear this first one is voicemail guide and of course if you would like to have your own voice mail three two three five two four seven eight three nine. Please keep it to under. Three minutes is suggesting timer. You will get cut off recently. A number of people have left two or three messages. Because then you cut off your back. I write it down in practice I have been seeing this guy since december me. Think a little more official in february We have a lot of fun together. They're caring and affectionate Close social circle is a lot of other. Lgbt people as a gay man His officer all just happens to be a lot more straight people which i do not have a lot of in my life He plays video game online with a group of guys who have recently learned are all trump supporters in both forehand hand in twenty twenty This is gonna be associated as his closest friends. He said eventually the goal would be from new parties. And things like that. Would these people Because that's what he did pre pandemic so when the time comes that's what he's explained to be like Me i can't imagine fainting some sort of friendship with trump supporters. It's possible to maintain a relationship. When i want nothing to do with his friends being unfair in prejudging or visit twenty. Twenty one and a hardline. I just don't know if i'm being on sale or if this is the reality of the world and i need to set some boundaries Can six i got a new Can i say what my actual physical reaction was Gritted teeth my reaction is a fuck fuck. Why are you wasting your time. He plays online video games with trump supporters. That's what i heard. Was i know a guy who spends all day playing video games with trump supporters. I just i'm sorry. You got caught into that. I know i know tangle the web. I mean 'cause here's the thing because my first would also like what have you talked to him about this. Because i believe it's twenty twenty one and we now draw hard line but i understand that some people don't have their impulse where they're like. Well you know some people just like we don't talk politics or it's like we don't wanna i don't wanna fight. I still think it's like that's a privilege that you can just like ignore about your business. So i don't buy it but i think it's like what does he say when you're like. Hey act came. Fuck with a trump supporter. Yeah it's well for me. This is also this. Phone call is a nice little slice of his privilege because he can make the decision on whether or not he should be friends with. Possibly terrible people like you can get a chance to figure out who they are and maybe get to know them better. But ultimately they made a decision to elect to vote for someone and open white supremacists who was specifically said in syria words to amongst like every person of color in this country. So you have to decide that if that is somebody your social somebody who's okay with being in the program even if they don't talk about things he still giving a soft approval of their political beliefs at this point in history when we're dealing with little nazis on the streets being murderous rampage motherfuckers and you have to make that decision to be like no. I don't need to go get out of your head. It's never going to go at like it's going to be something in the back of your mind that you're going to feel guilty about and that's not a basis. You should be starting a relationship with you. Should be starting a relationship in the most positive note possible. Yeah and if the software starting at than you are taking too big of a risk that's going to lead to much bigger resentment in the future. Yeah yeah it's it's it's yeah. I don't know what else to do. I mean look. There's there's like this part of me that's like wants to try to rehabilitate the less racist. I don't know what to do about that. This is the thing it's just like. He trump was an open white supremacy. There was no. There's no debating this kind of stuff and everyone around him was like one of the most fucking loathsome mutants and world disgust. Stephen miller is fucking like if If ghalem gum fucked pile of feces. Wow i best not trying to get something more clever. Or it's it's just it's one of the things like people like that. Do give permission to exists with people that they openly hate like. There's are racist that are fine with black people in their presence. There are people like these people. So it's like yeah. He knows these people and they probably like we're fine at your gate but not honest truth. They're not they're not right. There's no way they can be and if they are living they've decided to have a contradiction and that is even more warped of belief like it's just one of those things where it's like. Do you want do you. You're gonna end up thinking that you can change. People who are not generally changeable outside of being shamed furiously by society as a whole. Yes yes that's one of the things that have been saying for years now. We have to bring shame back right. We have not talked about like sexual things. Not shame about like those personal things but shame about you. Have to feel at the very least. You may not feel bad about being a white supremacist. But you should feel that. It is shameful to say publicly. Yeah you should have to yourself. We need to bring that back. When start this campaign no it should be definitely associated with things should be like people people make fun of not enough none of us because you feel comfortable enough to speak about it and you feel comfortable enough to think you're not and they're like they're the us enough. Things seem that they're like safe. But i'm like we know who you are exactly. Well also say this. And i know you know i believe you can tell a lot about people by the company they keep so. I also need you to kind of look at this person. You are in a relationship with because this person has no problem. You know because again. It's not even just that their voices you play video games with right head narrow you saying you hang out offline so that's even worse it's like one thing if you're like well i never see him. I you know even then still fucked up. But i could kind of see me online. I don't care but no you interact with these people. You interviewed people knowing full. Well what they think and if they have decided that They can be friends with a gay man. And that's the one sliver of exceptions. They have in their life. Why do you want to be friends with them. Why does your boyfriend want to be friends with them. I just have to say like if you a little too loose about that kind of thing. Meaning people bigots. They're just like have a little like let's get a cocktail with the big. Yeah no no no no no to lose. It's a gateway it's going to get worse absolutely not i mean you hate to be too harsh because i know like you know we all have friends who can be a little trifling or they get drunk and embarrass you. I hate to say like you know your friends. Say something about you all the time but certainly that type of point of view on life that you choose to be around eventually gonna lead up to something and then you're going to have to be like oh i can probably give it a while. He'll say he'll say something till say some fucked up to fucked up to. If he's been that much time with people you have to have something outside of just the video games to relate to so right right. I want to say look. We're not. We're not trying to police anyone's thoughts all right. We just want them to keep their thoughts. Private police thoughts. I wanna make erase every white supremacist memory. As as much as i on hope that needs to be a new men in black metal aliens. It should be going around with that neuro. liser thing. Yeah he's saying the memories of white supremacy. It was like if it was like something that i can put like a glove that can put my hand just one slap laughable. This is a good idea. Look the men in slap. Oh my god. Wow that's it that's it you know you don't need to be with this person. This is one of those things where you know. It's not a good idea and you can tell a good idea. And i know that you're reaching out to number two just the affirmation that it's not a good idea. Your show has one black person and the other was also the the jewish person. I think there's going to be like. Hey maybe don't date the guy who and chill with with nazi sympathizer i. It's just like we can rehabilitate these people and that part of me that the longer time goes on that part of me just gets like cry. That little part that started off as like a tiny p is now like a molecule rid of it complete. It's now at at this point. What you need to do is work on the script. Men and slap wherever starring look good suits look good slap. The shit out of white men calm. I know some producers. Listen to this hollywood. Are you listening attention to this. The pitch me okay. This next one comes to us anonymous from an instagram direct message. It says my mom is really bad at keeping track of her money and every month. She asked me for money. Which is fine like i live at her house and everything but recently. She's been needing more and more parentheses. I usually will pay her two hundred and fifty dollars for the car and two hundred dollars for we'd every but last month she needed a thousand dollars from me because she didn't. I didn't read this before. That was really funny but last month she needed a thousand dollars from me because she didn't have money to pay our mortgage and again this month. She just told me she needs another thousand dollars for the mortgage. Like what do i do. I don't know how to tell her. I can't keep giving her all this money. And i feel i'm not able to save any because i always have to give my extra money to her and she knows i have and i keep doing it. So it's like she expects it. Now i don't know i don't want her to be sad but also like four question marks what the hell so. And that's because you had mentioned earlier like giving your money. And i know like in a joking form but i don't know i like this is like real to me. And because basically what he was saying to this the writer was because he's like. I live her now but i'm trying to save to not live with her but if i gotta give her a thousand dollars every month i can't say to not live with her and so it's like you know and i know you know i lived with my mom for a while like when i came back from college and of course it was in new york and i was like oh. I got a bed in harlem own state. Yeah but you know yeah it came with like it was very much like okay. You will pay the following bills. But i'm gonna go cats and like i knew that straight up. It's not the same as like just like pass me thousand dollars quick. Look it's one of the things like you're going to have to either it's again. It's if you say you'd have to say no eventually be like i i have. I'm trying to move out but also like what's like get out also move out. That's i know you're trying to save money. But how much money do you gotta say. Especially if you live in a place where one thousand dollar mortgage. I don't think it's expensive. it's a right. Yeah but what happens. I mean i think this is. This is where it's difficult. It's like what happens if that mortgage doesn't get paid then both out. Well that's the big it out from somebody else. I think she's fine now. It's it's one of those things where somebody it's just make things easier for them. It's kinda you have to be straight up with your mom and be like. Hey i got a not give you too much money or or find another situation find another couch. It's hard to be straight up with mom though you know. It's so hard especially when you live with her. Especially because as we hear from the we'd they have a blurred lines relationship money but we y'all hanging out so it's like it's like apart friends but obviously that your mother your living. You're living in her house. You are paying for like the car stuff. And so i think it's can be so hard to just be like look exactly the same way like my mom is asking me for money and i don't say no i say it's also you know at some point the it's what do you want to live by yourself just moving with your mom. Yeah it's like fifteen thousand dollars. I'm going to have a bedroom. I'm going to wait around that direct relationship like can you say like i can't just directly say thanks to my parents I can say. I don't say things directly to my parents unless it's unless it's some the my my parents say something so terrible that i have to say the thing that negates it for the most part i just don't give a shit. I'm not trying to fight because it'd be the a million fights up. But i definitely i definitely know that the power structure is the dynamic has shifted. And i'm not. I'm not just i'm not. It's not like the child. You can talk down to and say tom what to do with their life Wait when did that shift When i gave my mom money because she was still talk with me on the phone. I would just hang up a now. Sit back. and she's like okay. okay. That's a little later. That i thought because i was gonna say to and it goes back to what you were saying. It's like you gotta move out in order to draw that line you know. It's essentially probably the only way to do things because it's your she is doing you the favor of giving a letting you mature intruder space as an adult. And it's also like haiti. She gave birth to you. So that's you'll never stop wearing her up even though you never asked for it. So because then she'll slap unify. It's just one of those things where you have to find another situation where you can save money for yourself because it's especially. It's not one of those things that it's a easily go. Yeah oh i got an idea. This is a genuine one. All right what. If she asked for thousand dollars. I can give you blank. I can give you five hundred and so like your timeline for moving out. It goes longer but you're also not cutting her off and instantly true. It's probably can be done. A good luck to this person is she ate. Bring bring bring lawyer in if you can. You also have far enough away that she can't roll up on your doorstep because i remember when you first apartment was only like fifteen blocks from my mom's house and you know i was called on to let con edison and to do all this work in the house like it was like still like that. It's like you gotta be far enough away so then you are not on call because he'll still ask you for money even when you move at least one town away but at least when you move out you're like oh i don't have that money because i've rent. Yeah so that's that's only reason. I'd have children so they can take care of me one day. I don't think there's any other reason to have children just watching. We just watched something where we were like. Maybe we should. There is a john oliver. Oh last week tonight thing about like nursing homes and assisted living care facilities and we looked at each other. And we're like should we have kits so so so what takes care so you don't get abused in a nursing home but i don't wanna baby so we said we decided we were going to adopt a teenager up. We're in our sixty s will adopt a teenager teenager to. I was actually going up to the squad of black teens. I was gonna shut him. Gimme your celsius teens. I want i will show up with non brand shoes and the ones that make fucking meanest remarks were going with me by the way not a bad idea for tv show listening. Oh my god. No i think i think. Teenagers are great because they because they don't respect you which is definitely. I don't want that for children with children are just two nights. I don't trust them like british children. That are polite. That's a fucking game in the fuck away from me knows the teens are so mean and scary like i remember like walking into europe. I like paths teens on the street. I'd like kind of seize up for a minute and just keep it quick. Look down look down. Don't let them make money. Who see i i was. I was the opposite of that. Whenever a kid wasn't mean enough. I'd be like what can i do to become a person's threatened especially especially if it's a black about black teen girl i'm like what can i do to learn her secrets. The fact that you made up a whole song about my outfit by looking at it like that is. That is a power that i want to bring to my side it is. It is a weapon that you can use to benefit you wait. What's that about What set about like. What is it that attracts to that. You like it's just it's just it's just it's just so beautiful. It's an art form. It's not appreciated like bullying is not appreciate it. As an art form those mean kids like there's bullies that are just like just hit you and runoff but the ones that just talk shit in psychological warfare. That is that is brilliant. That is a future. Ci spy that is somebody who will topple governments down if you if you if you point them in the right direction and that's what you want to right now on. I wanna give black. Sassy teens an opportunity to use their skill. Set to make the world a worse or better place. Yeah yeah i get it. I get i get watching it. I don't wanna be in the line of fire. I get like like watching electra. Read the lady in the long island. Yeah we watch live that. That is a thing of beauty. I so i understand it i just like you know it's there's this There's this tingle of fear. Because i don't want to be watching on tv even in a scripted tv. Show watching some. There's a tingle fear that like what if she turns out at sees me and then i'm at i'm in the line of fire. My shit i live for those moments. I thrive in those moments. Because i like going toe to toe i like. I like showing up to shit talking session. Because i don't even like roasts because like roasts like those are those are prepared this some loving it. I want i want. I want acid spitting. I want i want impromptu improvise shit talking where there's no rules. There's a good chance. Walk away with my wave. that's the kind of paramount. Plus are you listening as the new. Jeff ross spitting. Let's do one more. This is a voicemail haney. Andy i'm julia. I'm twenty seven. I live in brooklyn I'm calling with a roommate if she would question So i got a new roommate in august which was its own total saga But me and my other ritual remains found. This guy who's veto friend dead at him. It's definitely not my preference to live with a man but here we are. He's totally fine except for distinct so anyway when he first moved and he went through this wild series of unfortunate events. Like i've not seen anyone go through this much per personal life tragedy on top of everything else so he's definitely going through a really hard time right now He's definitely not like feeding themselves. Well or immediate. All from what i can tell which is not really my business except this part is i would say so. The one snack that he loves And his self-proclaimed favorite snack to walk around the house. It'd be like i love this. Which is wild to me is He loves handfuls of raw the getty. Ross big eddie. It's crunchy okay. So for context. I have a little touch with mrs phone. Yeah which is like With certain small towns such as someone being. Ross getty Insights like a rage reaction. In me. And i can sort of like he'll it like i experience it as pain in my body And so this is like a really weird mismatch between us. I definitely should have nipped in the bud. The first time he did it. But honestly i was truly shocked at. This is what he was eating. I didn't say anything And now i'm not really sure what to do. I don't know if this ship has sailed. I'm sure i should just bring it up. But honestly he really seems like his happiest when he's like like hop around the house eating raw spaghetti and i know he's going through this really hard time so i i want whatever happiness he can have it really driving up the wall so any thoughts on how to approach the subject would be greatly appreciated. I also just wanted to. You know be able to vent that. This is something that someone does and one time. He alternated eating the raw spaghetti with handful of almonds. And that was a moment where i left the house and took a walk anyway. Thank you very much I hope you answer this question. I'm show by insane. I this is one of those situations where i know. Everyone involved is white But it's just so much passive aggressive and that is truly unnecessary but handfuls of raw spaghetti. It's the flavor it's the texture the end of the day you can say. Hey it bothered me when you do this. I will try to not be around when you're doing it but if you can also avoid doing around me i would appreciate it but yeah it's it is but essentially it's her problem it's not it's it's like it's like yeah. It's noise cancelling headphones. I was gonna say miss a phony israel. Yeah no it's real but that's the thing that you have to tell people that up top. It's really like knowing one good. No one's gonna be aware enough to that. Yes the idea of spaghetti is insane. And but also if he's willing to share that information you should share his santa that is one of the most annoying things in the world. And i feel like that's also something. He's probably not surprised by the sound of you eating raw spaghetti. It infuriates me. As a matter of fact. I as i'm person certain towns also caused me to be very mad like the sound of my mom eating cereal. I don't want to be around for it i will. I want to burn the house down. And that's one of the and it's just but i also i walk. I walk away from it. And that's it. It's essentially you have to tell people what's going on right and the compromise. It'd be like hey we should just be mindful but also he needs to leave anybody. Who's walking around your house. Skipping and eating raw spaghetti is love. This i love loss mega. Am and then he just hops around the house. He sounds terrible. Oh no he's not sure serial killer in one way or another and that might be the only thing that stops for murdering some maybe. This is the last straw before he. That's beginning what are you drinking. What's rice that's wrong rights. I can drink raw rice if i want like. It's just one of those things where i feel like people like when you live with people and their bad habits show up and it's it's this is via. I'm just so. I'm very happy to live with my brother because we have the same bad habits. So there's nothing he does that i don't do that. I'm this can't be disgusted. Ever had a weird roommate many. So many. And the i've i've i've had i've had to call the cops on one. I why because he was swinging a bat at me. Oh yeah. I live seventy flop-houses here and there so it's always like there's always one person i've been secretly doing heroin for two months. I've been living with you and you're like oh tight because have to deal with that real quick or i drink malt liquor every night and i don't flush the toilet also i guess living don't live with man is what i recommend on. Were you living alone. Yes okay. I although i've been living with just one thing if you if you don't have the resilience to deal with the disgustingness living with men especially single men because single men have nothing to to to be to get ready for or to live up to or no one to impress. Straight men are hand the worst like no matter what they're going through you're gonna find something that they're place will disappear for months at a time and just reappear with trauma. That's the best so yes. Oh yeah. I had a roommate wants. He came from a very wealthy background and didn't understand how to like. Keep a hat. Do anything around the house like care for it. Then once there was like he wanted to clean the floor so we took like our spaghetti pot and put like bleaching and then use that as to like mop it was like i just remember coming to like destroyed pots and pans. I i've woken up to burnt mac and cheese on the stove because they left the thing on and almost burned down the house. God it's just a list of things you kind of win win. Once you agree to live with single straight men you have to make a sacrifice and so it's so it's just one and this is in the grand scheme of things chewing raw spaghetti low level on what has been done in my In the premises that. I paid money to live in. It's funny how much of of these advice questions. Boil down to have a direct conversation with a purse. Yeah it is. It's sort of like the plot of every romcom or it's like if you just said something. The movie would been over ten minutes if you're like. Hey i like you. And they're like oh me too that it's over and i think people ask advice questions because they're trying to find escape hatch for that direct conversation. Direct conversation is so uncomfortable for like ninety percent of the population that they will try anything else before they have to have that company. And here's the thing. Is that the direct. Conversation is the best one like i do i do. I'm i love confrontation. I i love making sure that anyone everyone in the world knows exactly how i feel about something because it's just truly. Wow what a waste of your life to just not tell people you don't like you don't like them. What have you always been direct like that. Oh yeah i think. I think my directness is so much of the point. That people are you. Okay because you just see. Just tell truth. And i'm like i thought that's the best way to live your life. That's why i tend not to be so stressed out so often time. That's true you let it out. You let it out so i don't know you wanted to live with but it also sounds too. It's like he's gone through something. And it's like which makes me feel like you're afraid to say something because he might be volatile have a or he might be sad or he might have a tantrum or he might whatever and it's like i don't know this person came in to this person. Sign a lease. Can they be out in twelve months. Like you know what i mean. Do you have the option to because as you said. You didn't even wanna live the guy you're kind of stuck in this situation. So either he goes or you go. Yeah that's essentially what it but it's also it might even be go away situation really like because you don't what the next person's gonna have. There might be might eat cook spaghetti but then they also might throw some toes in there. We don't know like the world is a fucking gross and dangerous discussing place so it's one of those things where if you just generally be like. Hey not around me. This is my thing except by. Yeah can you go snacking your room. A fucking lunatic. Yeah and also. Noise cancelling headphones. Yeah that's yeah that's that's handy one but also you know what people can learn to eat raw spaghetti and the goddamn streets like the fuck out here. can you imagine just walking down bedford and just seeing someone. Just challenge down on some run. Zony just about lebron's open. Yeah like like. They were popcorn. Yeah pull it out. Just pull it out for folly. A time i've seen minnie mouse. Smoke crack new york. We've seen things in the streets and you're like and not in times square. Just just hanging out in queens biz new york to solomon thank you so much for gracing us for blessing us. It was a blessing for me to to see your faces so good to see. You glad you're looking well and thriving and we should all be so lucky handymen in slap and have a direct conversation. those are my two take producers. Have you have our contact information about me. We'll see you next week.