42. Blackface, Spanking & The Eggplant Capital of the World (with Kevin Ryder)
You're listening to comedy central. Jim jeopardy show podcast arm. Jim jefferies. It's ju- Jeffrey show podcast coming to you. I in your radio in your car. It's a podcast. I'm here with my co host far show. How I I'm awesome. What were been up to? I know we've been traveling with. We did. Probably the main you is we spend too much time together. Like, we haven't. We definitely have love for each other. But I think there's more animosity now. Well, I from which one of you. Which brings us to guess today. This is very exciting for me because I'm a fan of yours. You've always been very nice to me even at the early stages of my career, you let me come on. You're very popular radio show. Kevin from Kevin being. Thank you. Thank you this. We were happy to have you. But we're always scared every time you came in you'll radio royalty. You mean, take those righty? Oh royalty. No, no. That that's true. You'll like one of the last things right because radio's dying all still barely alive and you'll hear I'm sorta hanging on though. I mean like I pass my time to go. I still listen to you in the morning, don't I do such a liar. Okay. I I've been on your show. Yes. And then I've been driving home, right? You have had a debate about hamburgers correct right into the show after I was on the show. Right. Argue that in and out is the greatest hamburger you did. But I would argue that you just turned it on because you were just there to see because you're you're see if we were talking about you. That's what I did. But I listen every day just in the off chance. You to send the Jhansi. Like, whether you're talking about something horrific. There was a ripe gyms being accused of something like that. I haven't been I haven't been crane it in but bleep something. How dare you? Call somebody an ego maniac. That's worrying, Freddie. Mercury. Alphabet, right. People who are watching this thing. I you can watch. This photo is. Photos and video this can you watch this being minute. Yeah. They'll sit guy. I'm just like, Freddie. Mercury. Because I wanted to be dressed like, Freddie. Mercury. Are we it in the script because I was passionate about being dressed like, Freddie? Mercury. The movies coming up very excited. I hear it's horrible. You hear the movies horrible? I hear they just miss out the whole the whole him fucking seven guys. That's the film. I wanted to say I wanted to see how is it made? Right. They didn't put that on the screen. All they did was oh, how hard was it to rot bohemian rhapsody? Another question. It's not as interesting as yours. But it's another question. They act like he was married for a little bit, right? Is a lot of Elton. John got married. Sure agreed to two women. I mean, but why do you want that part of the story? Who cares I want? The I want the grabby stuff. I won the bio-pic I want the I want the Brian May going God. Who are we gonna fun another singer? I'll tell you taste story. So I was performing in Sydney, and when I was before. In Sydney, Tim Farris from inaccessible came backstage. I was so excited because inacceptable that was three brothers and then cook pin Geli was random garden and Michael Hutchings. Now Margot Hodgson's was inaccessible. You didn't Ronald the songs the Farris brothers right half the songs, and I was sort of the driving force of the band now. Tim Ferriss guitarist from an excess came backstage at my concert in Sydney, and I was so excited to meet him. And he had a Bryce on his hand. Because one of these things he was on his yacht and the ripe wrapped around he's finger and rip these finger of then they stitched the finger back, right? They stitch the thing about and he goes that's the end of in excess. This is my cold hand. I can no longer play guitar. Therefore, there is no in excess. And I was like your finger is more important than Markel. Hutchins. They went through to fucking singers. Oh my God. That's crazy. Michael hudson. Centigrade ending though, didn't he he. Well, I I'm not officially I decided this. But I think my brother was one of the cops that was one of the first on the same. And you didn't have brothers Cobb about me eating. You didn't hear it from me right here for me? You didn't even meet, but there's still run apparently hearing. I just don't do details because I will have to cut out, but you didn't hear from me. We've already had stump hearing stop hearing. But there was cocaine on the table. Now, you that sort of suicide you finish the code kind. No, one goes Apollo cocaine Oklahoma's over there, you go I'll get through this. And then I'll think about killing myself again, he was just having a Wang going to door. No. I mean, I assume that was true to did. You think he committed suicide they reported? That's the official cause of death. Was suicide Napoleon said he didn't commit suicide. But I believe that it was just auto erotic. Whatever they fucking coal it. Now, I have two two random. Just do that for the edit. Cuts already known. We've had to cut that before. So there is there is worse information. The last time I was there. I think we try to tell it before I got. I'm Jim Jefferies. My two dates come. What's this is may now don't watch? It has already done on November fourth. You're supposed to say watch it watch it at the big adventure. November for the big adventure fest at the OC fair at costume Mesa Mesa Costa Mesa. Call sommes November nine in oxen hill, Maryland at the MGM Grand National hub and plays by tickets. Are I'll be honest with you hundred lift is eight hundred lift out of out of six thousand six thousand November tenth New York City Madison Square, God the small room. Also, come and see me on his Strayer. And is you actually these trying to pretty much? So that the is I don't know how that's doing. We really just going to get a hair bright in do fill pays. Good. Then you just add an extra show. We added an extra show in Singapore. We cut chew gum, which is good because ever gone. But I mean, still nice that the Singaporean have you ever toured Asia before not because I feel like you don't get in trouble. Not with my name on the poster. Okay, I've done it the guy that used to book gigs. Right. I I remember once I was in Thailand during gigs. And what happened was everywhere. We went the guy who was running. It's always always these white guys from Australia who fucking dodgy is Faulk who fucking open up on when you'd come. They CD fucking concert. And so everybody's got tickets to prostitutes prostitutes, prostitutes strippers fibers fucking go shooting ping pong balls. And I was like I was like enough enough. I can't do this. Can you just take me to a regular by was die three? And I was like I can't look at this. Anyway, by does seem like an Irish by. And I was like, thank you. I appreciate this. And then he starts giggling. What do you look up and looking up? It was a glass ceiling, and these naked goes was sitting there with numbers on their is. So you could pick them out like a lobster from a tank. Thailand. Why why were you saying be careful in trouble there? What do you? What do you mean? Well, I mean, he was he referenced chewing gum in in Indonesia. I mean, it seems like doesn't really care much about rules. We had gigs at that. You had some insight him. No, no, I'm going with. We had choose shows booked in China. Yeah. Those gigs have been canceled because the Chinese government is for transcript of my retain to really know what I'm gonna site at any given stage, and they wanted to see if I was gonna say anything nasty about politics or make any drug references. And I just decided that China was too risky. So we fucked charter off they said they said you could be detained. If they didn't you hit. It could be because remember like I think it was was it on like wings the band that wanted to be the bagels. Right when wings went they pull megani. Got in trouble because we're a bit of wave. The now we're being. Japan. Anyway, Pullman got and he was locked up because he wasn't allowed to have a bit of weight, and you think like pull mccown let him smoke a little bit of weight. No matter. No matter what your laws are public. He's he's nine days in jail in Japan. Japan awkward going to Japan racist. He went to jail. I didn't know that jail for heaven. We'd nine days in Japan. Yeah. That's where he right band on the run. Sounds like a song. Now or narrowly we have a whole group of people who sit on the puck is we don't have any have any. We have one me brought another jersey person. And would you like to come out and say Hello, come and say, low one? He does not want to go. God's told me bring any pay. Tells you whether you do my name's Brad hunter, I an executive assistant by day and I- comic by night. And what about a twilight in-between the diet? What do you do with the full first dinner? I'm a stripper. My income Brie. I'm done free. Hunter is very pointing nine. It's trial. But you're from jersey. Yeah. And how are you locking the sun and people walking onto legs you enjoying that? Die much sounds far out here, isn't it? Yeah. Do we just before in jersey? Maine forest doubt. They horrible place. Why why are you in jersey, you'll say jersey, I can he just offensive? I ready. You care. What happened was I am put up on on. We're going to put up a picture of all the fucking the factories in the mills and told me was on it like it is nice bits of jersey. Are you don't know it's the richest place mall millionaires than anywhere else in. You. Don't understand your Z. Terrible accent. You said it was the richest state. What I going to want a richest state rich richer. There's more oil, and hey, we can run the whole country. He takes a pitcher the one area when you go into New York it when you live in New York City and you go through Newark, New Jersey deport Elizabeth which is the largest port in America. How we get everything here and all the industrial stuff like the most industrialized port part of this country that keeps it running. And he's like this place is a shit hole. And everyone says that they will just assume that jersey is that one area, but it's actually a beautiful state to live. So where beautiful state of the oil along along Cape May's pretty, and that's it Kate May's pretty, but it's that's like, south jersey. But the problem is gardening. That is the problem states got at the eggplant capital of the world, creating capital don't just brush over the capital. And he was that that was his first two young people. It looks like a field of Dix. Eggplants? Glints Bank mats, very popular by the country's call them, all jeans. The office gene capital of the world. If we didn't have eggplants anywhere in this country. We'd be fine. We'd be all right, right. I don't I don't have passion fruit. You'll say. Some if you like if we lost eggplants, and we'd lose some other species. It starts with egg. What species in south jersey is blueberries the largest blueberry manufacturers in the country. Everyone knows blueberry fields the most beautiful. It's it's it's it's virtually let me take you to a blueberry filled. Boy, it'd be interesting to talk to someone who's stripping more wouldn't it be? But now that you know, I li- I now know what what what what happened was young. Tommy young remain to him. Last Bassano me said that he was I and nobody in the internet in the room agreed saying seven, I argue that heard that episode. He did say seven you said you were five he's a fun five. I'm better looking at Tommy. But what about what the mustache? Go up. Okay. My bike. A lot more money than. It was a rough rough one. It was a rough week. I got a lot. But you turned it all around for Halloween you into a Halloween party with your beautiful over and Jacqueline. And you address is. I was dressed as Jackson main from stars bullied. You decide you is. So good looking give Bradley. Big thought this isn't a late. Now, the moment I fat, Freddie. Mercury. Because I looked like, Freddie Mercury. If he wore a condo. Halford Bekri shoot. Look right now is our address. I thought you were Michael Jackson. Did you when you came out? I did. Yeah. Oh, when you came out, I thought Michael Jackson dancing, the thriller. Just before that that may be why? Oh, sorry that I got that wrong by two different white guys. Anyway, you did look good. You look good as Bradley Cooper, fairly weak and blue context away from being a stunner. You can do this. You can do winning at me because you're the one who was so adamant that I was not even close to a seven. Me. Whole room was. Jumped all over right away. Disgusted with Nokia, but far as generally. He's not even joking. As far as you probably should apologize now. Okay. I actually I was I was I was very happy to be part of that conversation. I think it helped the show. There's a social issue. The poor rang themselves like this. This is your metoo movement. I like how you're turning the Donald Trump now, by the way, I think it helped to show. It's like what they think. Now, you're taking credit for the show being good because it helps you show. Yeah. Yeah. And the other guy that I took that you made fun of for an hour. I think that helped us show too. Actually is good to everything me white sauce. I wouldn't try. Just in a bag you. Just thinking it's taken him a week to get enough quantities. He could have done if you do the Knicks site on Schumer's done a bag of calm, but a waste but a week. I'm like is that little red splotches in it? Everyone's comes different icing. Red splotches. Why why does that happen to you? I had I had inflamed. Testicles once. I'm sorry. No. It turned out that I was sitting doing the elliptical to metro abide. I'd ride was working out too hard. I had ruptured something someone sucked on testicles too high or whatever, I don't know. What week it was because I wasn't with forest anyways. So I just I just shot out fucking some blood outta my dick. And then my my testicles sold up. And then I couldn't I couldn't go and Conan that day, and then Karnam was canceled because of testicle size. I couldn't walk couldn't walk. I mean, everyone here in the show remembers hippie grapefruit testicle, we didn't we didn't see it. We took your word is one of those things that we were like, why do we know that Jim's coming blood everybody knew? Yeah. And it was I I tell you why. Because gyms. Coenen was upset with you too. He was like saying on the show is like this is the first time we've ever had against cancel in twenty years. I did come back on his show. And I expect it now to carton me and tell me and FARs FARs thing, but me tell me went too far on a plane, but but we went to the World Series. Right. We're sitting in my regular seats row s on Broadway. You know, why picked I could have bought clothes, but they're the first seats that are always in the Shiite height. The sun that's pretty strong strong your way just on the back. And it crosses the row in front row in front of burning himselves. So I didn't go to a dyke I MO year. So I don't know why I'm not bothered by this. Anyway, anyway, so Jimmy Kimmel sitting very front right with met diamond. Right back in Rome. I'm with stupid. Sure. Arm in rose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Matt damon? Matt Damon Damon's Red Sox Susan, ROY w. Yeah. But that's because he has to be in the sun, even less than you as much Baylor. I mean, if I can say this, though, when they did the roundup on celebrities, you weren't in it. Now, I've never been. This why the moustache so people don't recognize. Anyway. So what happened was Alto Conan did the classic move of when people started leaving him and his son moved up fep fifteen rose when he soapy believing. Like, oh, these are out tickets being kicked out like these out your fucking tickets and people looked at him like, oh, he's Conan for God's sakes. Of course, he can move up. How often you speak to Jimmy Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel used to be your expanded the base like he was our sports guy for he was sort of a writer type and then worked into a sports guy wrote bits and did funny thing, and then he brought on alum curl. I'm was his cop enough. Or is that the myth? No. Here's the thing. Jimmy was gonna fight Michael the maintenance man, who's another guy that we had on the show. Michael tried to choke him. They decided to have a fight. It was just a comedy fight. So Adam was a boxing trainer and he called in. And he said I'll be I'll train somebody and Jimmy. So you could be my trainer. And then he brought Adam tests. He's like this guy's really funny. You should put them on. But he was. He was a boxing trainer for Jimmy. And then Jimmy got in the ring and thought Michael the maintenance man, and Michael thought that it was real and was really like going for the kill and Jimmy was talking to him under his breath like to this is supposed to be a bit. What are you doing? And Michael was just swinging for the fences we had a game of horse, which sounds very similar. You'll going through forest forest is very proud of his sport sport. He's he's he's he's just let it he's just, you know, you know. Very good. Very good. He's he's coordinated you coordinate. I I am. Yeah. But not enough to beat me that guy Mojo's any right now. He's huffing and puffing. But that's he's normal breathing. What you're going to move on horse. Like, what's the one? You really know. He has the go to move. He goes underhand under under army calls. I get any. Arm. Shoot a basketball leagues. I think I'm used to this. Underarm thing or throw it gets in the circle circle the circle with the boat. Yeah. It's a reli- get it in and then far as choice to do trick shots from a distance. And then he misses him. And then he's bitter angry man was I better that bitter better. You don't seem to be laughing right now, I was angry this weekend. Moment. Oh, you mean for being I know, you know, how it is pain had to move to New Orleans to get away from you. I mean. Yes, Seattle first and then New Orleans, but he hasn't been in the studio for maybe I've seen you together. Because you you do April foolishness, and I've come down to you together. You seem to get along. We're fine. He's a big man, and he's very tall very tall. But I I would say once very rarely probably once a year we're on the road. They'll be a moment between me and do other than that. We never fucked. And but it was reading before. What could we commit hate? But it was like we had driven a lot that we can. We just traveled a lot, and I was really tired, and we're gonna go meet new steakhouse, and it was it was me, Jim Amos the other comic and tasty. And and I I was just gonna fucking foul mood, and I was running late and Jim's like where are you? We gotta eat. Well, and by the time, I got the restaurant was. The meal was time sensitive. Totally in the right, but I just came in. Everyone's like, oh, yeah. Fucking calming. I'm fucking just snapped. I where have you been? Yeah. We're in the Bubby Feis stakeouts. So then we sat down and then the waiter for whatever reason filled everyone's glass of water except mine and took mine, and then I was like what? Why do you take my fucking lots of what the fuck? And then I was angry. And then I realized it was about the yellow waiter. So I just stood up. When I go, you know, what guys I can't. I can't be here right now taking myself. I'm really angry. I left the table. I went outside. I called a couple of people that I knew would just like show me on talk to them for. I was like I got back in the restaurant now apologize. So I sat down and said, hey, guys. I was in a bad mood. I'm better. Now. I'm very sorry ordered some federal let's see and there was a thing of there. And I just reached as IRS, and I knocked the glass of water and shattered the all. All of the. Mesh fucking filled water over the whole town when I was just sitting there like we she start angry. This. I kick his ass out. Oh, that's crazy man that it was funny is like it was like you call that can talk you out of being in a bad mood and thirty seconds. I was about like about five minutes. Now if I get that worked up makes me half an hour. It couldn't have been dead. He doesn't talk to you now. But I'm I'm pretty level person for the most part, I don't usually get like really fucking upper just it doesn't take much. I just needed to separate. But it was when it was a good. I forget who said about was like as a pundit. But it wasn't good icebreaker because it was still kind of like awkward, and I just shattered glass the wishes, and I was like all right. I'm just gonna leave again. You just need to put yourself to bed. Yeah. Work though, you guys don't argue other than that for the most part. We we spend a good forty hours a week together. But we once a year, maybe, and that's it. That's that's the whole thing. He's pretty good. It's not even that bad. It's usually just like it was his time in Sydney, and he slept with my mom and always. He just didn't call. Why this is why am I is Cape? Fingering my mom, I o his time. There. Listen to the podcast now that'll be my mother figured out. If I know is your life you sit with data. Fuck you DD God. This is the puck is this woman could be who's who's who's a friend of my mother's who rings up my mom every dying because oh it was listening to your son's podcastone. He's very funny. But I wouldn't listen if I was you says very main things about you. Yeah. And then my mom gets fucking cranky. And fucking rings me up saying DVD's said some things what are you doing? He's getting a napkin to write something on. Tell me tell me every now, and again rods, and inspirational like you are good looking you have a microphone. David long. What are you? What are you writing down Thomas yourself? I mean, what's happened. What was going to pass along? Because like, hey guys were talking about your relationship on the road. I thought you wanted to ask Kevin about his relationship with his cO. They separated separating. I've Spain in Kevin's company this hour for ten years for it. And he's an unlikable guys. I understand that eventually being if that is he's done. Gene, ongoing, baby. I don't know why she came back. You guys are friends outside of work. And you talk to each other you he's he's at each other's homes. You're on the road did twenty ten. You talk to each other at all when the Mike's not on. We don't we Email, but we don't talk, and it may be angry the first four or five years. I thought we're going to be best friends. He's not really the best friend type. I know it used to be able to New Orleans. Sure hangs out with ice. It's not with me. But I like L A Kevin I was angry for like four or five years that I realized well, I'm being a dick. He's just not that guy Houston, then it was fine. You still Mike Catherwood on the show? He's no. He's been fired. Mike. Yeah. What happened to 'em? You listen to the show every day. I think you would know that right? Yeah. Can't really he's he's is the best looking guy by far. Did he mean to some people? You know, he he is the most beautiful person in the world. You didn't deny what I just said the metoo thing. No. I'm not going to tell you because I can't get in trouble. But you could easily say, no. Okay. Yes. I mean, no, I can't say. But he doesn't work with the city more and that sort of a sore spot because we love him. I like mine he's the best good looking guy. And he's got he's got an issue with his head that he'd never takes off his shirt ever. Like it gets in the shower. He'll take off his shirt in one move and get into the shower and then put something back on and look like him. I would walk around without a shirt fly issue in my head. What I want to take shut off constantly. We do we have any rates into reading you just gave this guy to me. All right. Sorry. I'm going to teach you a little bit about right? Okay. I can always learn sit back and fucking learn my friend. All right. I'll watch high. Do you have money power a great pair of boots? You can have it all how question mock stop you doing guys are the news computer, Coa I've been your internet browsers five in the following Thursday, boots dot com. If I don't have to do it. Why do I have to say the dot com? That's important. Why would that one? 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It's the same. Soup. I it's the cock groceries. And when you buy soup online new weeds soup and your life hasn't been delivered yet. Money power to gripe. Pair boots would be ios. Why results my very particularly regarding the money in the pow you'll definitely have a great pair of boots this year. Get a pair of boots that will last the season after season after what do you think I'm gonna say next guest season? Optima. Food. Hang the weird. Quality materials, and solid honest prices. Get a pair of Thursday boots head Ivan Thursday, boots com money palette and a great pair boots are only a click away. What if I don't know how to order things online? What do I do? Then. They include all those details. You really the company pays tens of Donald seats? So quiet. I never seen any of FARs go to fuck. A pair of just gave you your this morning. I given so many clothes is pretty mercury outfit isn't even a rental. Fucking to earn this ever gonna do it at the death jam comedy, Jayme. We Josh how demise I'm going to sing it. Freddie mercury's. I'm just so I can get some. Some use of his EFI and the next year. I'm gonna read this up covered in blood had myself, a fingered like knife club. And I'm gonna go is, Freddie. Mercury crew. Boom back in the next few sorted. Underarm back in the net. All right. So do you wanna talk about the show at all today? Did we doing we did? There was a shortage. There was a. When I talked to give it to Kevin because seventy people come on the puck, and they haven't seen the show, and they not along you you sat in the same and watch the show came in south central Pfizer. I laughing the executives not much then then on a noise. Comedies thing. Right. They listen to this podcast, but mostly because I have nothing to do during the day. No, I'm joking. I'm renegotiating deal. Right now. Sorry, you're good bunch anyways. And talking about speaking kids are talking about I took about whacking kids, we talked about. I don't want to talk about this on the puck us. We talked about the guy who went in and shot up the synagogue and kill those people and the person who's been sending all the bums, right? And it's obvious though, mostly sending all the bums what I don't get his. It's it's an obvious bit of mile, right? Pipe bomb in a thing. It's not like you go. Ooh. Wonder what this is it next? Head you go. I didn't order apply. It's like amazing that every single one of them got cool. Like, of course, every of them is going to get good. You know, what I when I when I first saw that you're going to talk about that. And this is what happens with me every time with you as I go. Oh, no, no, Jim don't talk about that about the shootings you serious. What I was going to be mean spirited. No, I feel like it's just it's a scary moment when you jump over that line with both feet. All the funny thing is you don't know. What saw it? I'm gonna take right right now. They're in the end, I condemn the shooter. But it could have gone either way. Yes. Correct. Yeah. That's why I was kidding. I don't condone shootings of any kind of very popular for gun control, retain anyway. So when you did April foolishness, you did a joke that somebody got angry at he said, I'm aids away from looking good. I like that. So why from looking good, right? It's gonna sit by that. And a woman got that. I was sitting next you got up and said don't laugh, and she stormed out thought it was hilarious old ID jenness. At the bad news. That's why my cottonwoods on the writing. Say he got he showed up for all the lesions lobby Mark anyway. So. Oh, leave it in. Fuck. It catha. Would you know where to find me? What's up Margaret to me? Like this goes, I saw the baseball the other died inside. Hello any guys one? Not because I didn't want to buddy we've been friends for ten years. So have you ever given your cell phone number? We have we I've texted I've lost. I know the pitches that must be reason. He's interesting. I'm just looking at them up. And isn't he so then he was on? Dr Drew's midday live show, but he left in January this year. Dr Drew's on our show next week is he can bring it up. Again, Catherwood it by the way, we took him away from KABC before we fired him. So that's good. Right. That's what you want to talk about the pictures that Mike sent my attention Mike sense of heavily pornographic pitches to a bit of fun. I don't know why he does that. But I gave him my phone number one morning. I said, listen, I'm giving you my phone number. I don't want any pictures. If you send pictures like that. I'm going to block you half hour later. There was a picture on. I blocked him. Did you blocking with KOMO over fun? Did not. Which is a tricky write a book, but it is active is affected. You've tried that. I've I've ruined a phone. I've gotten to find water damage. With Red Sox fell in my toilet. That I'd came in. With red spots. Kevin. Just saying I've never heard anyone say that before the never heard anyone described. Well, I would just brace guy into a, and I always get very offended by risk guns away because whole month the home run home month of it. And it's like, they get so much more charitable donations in every other case and the rest are great, especially guy, but more people get killed by colon cancer. But no one wants to buy Brown Weaver. Ribbon would red spots. Agreed right, right. It's always you to sell tickets. But of course, it is because they're beautiful. Nobody wants to see your Jong not all your call. I've seen some day when what Dick's more impressive. I'd rather say Tuma Dixie hanging of someone some women's just. That in. All right. Then we talked about that. So we don't want to. We don't have a spanking. Here's what. This bugging. I love about the spanking base at the end of watching this BankE pace. You've learnt nothing. I mean, you can watch all of your show some of it. We give him a nation. I think you're actually Dhamma for watching it like we saw it off going these like spiking this woman. Does it we end with what's a lot about? And that's it this final answer. It was. Yes. So the pro the pro spanker or the pro ass-whipping goes name is Dwayne stamper and the certify parent educators. Deborah Godhra was annoying Dwayne stamper. It was very funny because he had a thing that we kept recurring where at the beginning. He he came up with some statistics ever sets. Where'd you get that? He goes that stamper stat he came up with himself. Yeah. That was that was he came up. He's the first one to say it, and then we just kept recurring whatever. But it was like that was really funny. So that'll be part of our live tweets tonight. We're going to do hashtag stamper stats. So if people want to join an episode. When I also like is like, and I know like he flew from Indiana. I think right to be on the show. I I look. And that's the shirt he's wearing you know, he went through his closet was like I'm going to be on TV. Tattoo little bit. Hasn't worn in a like a year. It hasn't been specialty super Christian. This is what I've learned from doing this show. Yeah. Didn't know about myself before because I used to think that I hated everybody at time. You think that you hated everybody? It turns out if I talked to people. Well, you act people more than you talk to shut up. So I went to interview people I can find I I like all of them a little bit. Even pulling Hanson is one of the most horrendous people in the world, this petition from Australia that just did the whole it's okay to be white thing. And she's a anti-muslim fucking banning back an angry, Bob, and what about this woman? Deborah Godridge you like. It was super knowing in the interview she was doing I don't like she said, she my most hated group in the world. Okay. Pot from. I'm as Heidi group in the world is people who say. Often have a TV and they act so pious Aksu and also into like today, that's not a big too because you can watch anything on your ipad, or your computer whatever but ten years ago, it was really like off Faulk you and it's like they're the same country. You have to ring them up and go. Hi, the twin towers a foaling. You know, what I mean because I don't have anything to watch. Right. They've known me. Very proud. I was say is about TV let me fuck incites here right now, TV is my favorite thing in the world. I fucking love TV are encourage my son to watch TV. I'm not good with the old books all the reading all the listening to others. But I tell you what TV has given me. I have seen the world. I've watched documentaries. It has made me a fucking millionaire. Not so last when you watch genyk. Strangest dentist. That was really good really think you'd have an answer for that. Of course. I do what I fly. I fly a lot. Right. So I look things up the TV I encourage my son to watch TV are encourage you at home to watch TV's wonderful. If you're a Kanji says, you don't like TV fuck you. Fuck you to the moon and back. I love what are your favorite shows on TV? Jeffrey shook of course, legit number two. Never not around any and then the bible. Force your favorite TV shows, the gym Jeffey shown, stop it. I really liked better. Call Saul was about that. That's really good show. That's a good show. I don't know what else because then watching it because C on AMC my instead, and the Mayans are now, I don't watch I've seen that could show. I don't know. It's about what sons of anarchy before. I'm very busy. Kevin I wake up at you, watch TV all day every sitcom guy I like to have a lot of bit of. Well, anyway, this woman didn't like TV. Okay, right now, this thing that we talked to this. We did not fight these in any way, and we only edited in I think three things I started talking to her in TV show jingles, right? And she didn't recognize it don't want. That was the best one. It was like I was like making why in the world guy? You take the good you take the bag take the race. And then you have the facts of life, and she's like, yeah. That's right. Yeah. Any normally Seacombe I just fucking rattle that right? It got to the extent that when we were off camera. She said to me, she goes. So you have a kid he's with the mother in dining ago. And she goes how does that go? How does that going? And I said, well, I bet we've been together for a million years. We'll probably be together for a million mole. It's like my life started kissed. I don't remember what I ever did before. And she's like this guy is so poetic. While she was besotted with much. Let's you're listening at home right now. Because you don't have a teammate. What's funny is that it's rhyming everything you were saying was rhyming and kind of sounds things still. Yeah. Yeah. That was at least from one stage. I wasn't even sign woods. I was just singing the I team. She was just like, what do you think? Like. This is like yes, I can see where you from. Are you not mean to somebody? That's that condescending. Well, but she was she wasn't a little bit gonna saying. But she. Once again, you can like everybody she was in the right place. Like, the idea that she's a parenting expert is mental right is fucking mental. Right. That someone is a parenting expert because that every kid takes a different type of parenting, some kids you smack out of the cage. You you the TV what? To say burn anyway. So she has an opinion where you don't do either of those things right kids. I do not. But I was think I was spending. My dad used to have a paddle and now being lives in you. But I have kids that I didn't. Hold up. You'll dad had a paddle. Paddle paddle. Really? Isn't it? We want you to pitch this. He probably hit your mother with. No, he didn't just sexually. No come on a little bit. No. No. No. No. Parents can't do that. Can't you? Just can't do that on the raise that Mark was fine. You're the reason that. Anyway. So you got a paddle. What did this pedal? Look like, it was a piece of just a paddle it how to handle and it was literally like made to be a paddle. So like one of those fraternity like those in. Jason. My bra I go to target. I go biking pedal. I don't know. But I told my younger brother goes saw it, and then he won't have a paddle anymore. He went and found a wooden rubber gun that we had that was made out of wood. And he would just run was it robber. Or was it was a rubber band gun? That was wouldn't. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So then he would paddle us with that. But I really only probably three or four times. And I never once doubted that he loved me on I never doubted. The my mother loved me, my mother baked me a law should have a lot though, she was a big fan of the wooden spoon. If you thought you could crack the spoons, and then you have to laugh in a face, right? I'm on these hit me in public slot. But it was the eighties and other parents gone up and a high five and we're awarded for such a good hit that guy. We lock what you did. They carolyn. It was the follow through the hit the face. Stop. Don't stop to think that the objects further away though, I got bayton along on. I never I never got beat three or four times. And it wasn't. Ever when he was angry. All really he would always take a break. Is this just when you had an erection go. We already dressed that. I can't handle that kind of. Now, my mother him now may and my mother if if you listening I'm gonna love you very much, but me my mother had a breakthrough in the last maybe month, maybe three or four weeks ago. When mother rang up at apologize for the Bating's, and San Ryan is she did you put us for the everyone will this things. Yeah. They seem to remember a few of them. And that's how the human condition is. You only everyone is a hero in this story. No one is the villain of this story through right? So you wanna think you're good person? That's how we survive by wiping out, some some mother remember chose three times. But then I started bringing up what about this? What about that time? What about this time? What about this? And then I was like what am I doing am? I right honest. Shing seventy seven year old woman. Am I trying to make this woman crush he's doing that? She can't go policy. She sincerely apologize. The best thing. I can do is just take it. But I still fuck with. Every game when she needs me to buy something. She has to. Mike, it a painful so thing you torture her. Yes. And also, I'm not going to let her have the sunk. She wants a funeral. So there's this is a little things. It's a little thing. What song does she wanted? Her funeral. My mother was wind beneath a wing. Oh, no. That is the biggest Mata song that is like on ima. Must've been cold there in shadow all I did was sit there. Why you poise took all the glory now cleanup fucking room. So I miss you still about that. You're talking about a breakthrough three weeks ago. What song do you wanna play for? Back in Brockhouse. I'm gonna I'm to do the chicken night's sweep did it. Did it did it did? She does listen sorry anyway lobby. Thank you for the apology in the world to me. But not quite of the hookah. I'm still going to talk to you until the bitter end. Do you have to buy stuff you're going to torture her? This is the one thing is when you have money and people want that money, you can make them do shit. Yeah. But usually not your parents now, I looked at this way. Okay. My will still goes to my ex-girlfriend, Hank son, still guys. She has every reason for me to be. Did we get everything? She's still nice to me in this way. Well, one of the great loves of my life is kite hangs mother she's being sweet to me from day one. I wasn't the best boyfriend. I was a good dad. I'd say is that gonna win the good done? But but she was sweet to the bitter end with me. And she's still sweet to me up. She went and kite if and we've got a ticket trait tomorrow, I love it a bit. I love it's great mom. You wish you? No, no. No, okay. We stop fucking great mom average cook. Good. Hey, all right. That's quite a recap beautiful beautiful recap. And like your average just got better than average. And and I said, good luck your dad. I only beta four times anyway. You giving me the finger Kelly. You'll give me the finger. What are you doing Jack? Why are you giving Jack a finger? What's happening? Kevin. Do you know Jack is my sister, Jack, Jack, Jack Hackett Jack had sex twice. And he's like is that right? He's not twice throw this rise to different. What would you only take one important? That's an important second one two different girls. Once I no one's become back for seconds. That's okay. Maybe that's the distinction. I was going to think one of them didn't even wake up. But Jackson says lovely young main lobby. I mean, just lacks the confidence the bone people. He looked a little nervous now, Jack Jack comes from the code always looks. He's from Atlanta. She's fathers one of the top executives at Coca-Cola Jack grew up with. Why is he nervous around you? But he's still not a piece of shit. That's why Maher about you Jack that and the way you wear a hat. Jack, Jack, Jack Gamache Mark vein. Jank am I good bus? Yes. Why am I good bus? You're nice to me. Nice to see. I don't. No by this is what to gate. Part of other people by. You behind closed doors. I have to take my word on. On the second person. He fucked. Either all goes. And you didn't do it again. Anyway, what did you we'll help you lose weight? Dresses, pretty that joke so much, but it is. Yeah. They normally on a fun gag anyway. So Jacqueline that's your name. Now. Jackie. Boy, he boy he went on a date. What happened? Oh, you did. What did you tell him? This shouldn't tell me. Why don't you tell them? When did you go on a date? We had dinner and then we went to the haunted hayride. Did you did you did you did you pay? No. It was split. I try it was split. It was shaking. Did you pay for the high ride? Yes. All right. Good. Boy. Oh boy. So during the hayride she was holding my hand and holding on me when she was scared. It's like, okay. These are good signs. And then after the hayride we went to a party. We're out to like three AM or something. That's good. You always close the deal at five. I. So in fact, the play this is our third day a third dice our third. He doesn't tell you stuff. Did you have a kiss before that three guys never never gonna happen? So. Hey, I like to take you out more, and she goes. You're the only person I know in Los Angeles. And I don't wanna ruin it. Say well now, you know, no one. This idea that he's Coen literally fucking Meg Ryan's line from when Harry met Sally. That's like fucking system in the beginning. That's some bullshit. Did you just turn walk out pretty much? I was like, well, it's three thirty. I gotta go home and drunk. Yeah. I text her. What are you drunk? Did. She you back. Yes. Drunk and three three AM. Why not you said you went to a party? I went to a party, but they ran out. Oh my God. Jack, that's bullshit. By that gets a post by senior. Boots thursday. Money giant, giant, Jack potties run out was groups of people going to the bathroom without you know. Do you not party, Jack, Jack you being one of my parties? What happens in my buddies? I had to sign something where I said it was. Your loud to say anything. But what happens you, keep drinking? Alcohol doesn't run out doesn't run out. This is willing to do for you. Mark my words, right? I'm gonna throw up potty for you. Right. Do you to bring these it's all engineered around. You you bring the go. I'm gonna make it a magical fucking one d'alene few to finger this chick. No. No, no, it's going to be consensual. It's going to be consensual. There's your problem. I'm not I'm not trying to anyone feel like he's a closer. Now. Now now now, the Knicks potty is my son sixth. It's not going to be mostly for adults. Right. But it's gonna show that you good with kids. Women love that. We have a fingering Bansi console. What you do you bring to the party, and then she can meet other people, and then then she knew people in L A, and then then you can have sex. I'll tell you what I'll do for one hour one hour line friends. Like like main you get along that we're equals. He was telling us that you treat him. Nice. I do Jim night on the. I'm the first but not the spit on Jack. Is that right? I person- first person. Jack, Jackie boy. Jackie wake come on. Come to bring bring into the potty putty. It's it's this Saturday is it really your kid's birthday party. What time is the party is. I also party on Saturday. It's twelve to three it's probably during you. The kids birthday party. It goes from ten till question. Mark tiny think it is. None of the people of the potty can retire. Don't bring you to that party. That's not gonna help, you know, Suzy, but buzz having a pod is going to be some foods a kid thing baba baba, but I'll be there. Don't worry. They'll be all Tokyo Tokyo. So happening right afterwards. The kids leave there's a free, bouncy Cosso. Ooh. Do you want to jump around? Ooh. Fully over. He's literally listening to you anymore. That's why he's not getting lane. Kevin Kevin knows at six. He's got he's got twins. I do. I mean, he said six twenty. I mean once really good. But he showed a big, Lloyd. Does your wife? Listen to you every day. No. She doesn't know even works better though. Even when you're at home. No. And when my mom comes to town. I tell her that the radio station doesn't come in at the house because I don't want her to listen. She's does your mother believe that I don't think. So. But I think she just lets me think that I'm in charge. Your mother simple, Jack from the movie tropic, I know. Know, which brings us to Allah segment because I actually shown why the snowboarder dresses simple junk. Yes, he did from the movie tropic thunder. And this brings me this this this is the Halloween deal. You can't dress his anything from tropic thunder aren't really Robert Downey junior. Blacktop? You can't do it. Now. I black face. No, mentally challenged people except for Jack you can be yourself. Anyway. So what happens is in full. We talked about Meghan Kelly loss to now I'm suspicious of this. Because I feel like they wanted to get rid of. And they would just way looking for riding waiting waiting wedding wedding, wedding and say, I think they were having problems like after her Jane Fonda interview when she was promoting a movie, and then she just started asking better plastic surgery. I think they had trouble getting guests on there. I don't know this for a fact, but I think I think it was like kind of like my biggest problem. Megan Kelly is very simple. That's not how you spell. Megan. That's your biggest just not, you know, some dumb fucks too consonants in. That's not Hayes Bom Megan acts like a Jack. How you spell Meghan? Get the microphone. I am good work. Jackie boy, you gonna fuck on the Cosso anyway. Is this tightening anymore? Even know, I don't know either. This is like what you do in the morning that music, we take breaks and you'll sober. Yeah. I'm sober. Yeah. Although I was offered every type of alcohol from your office, right? We got going on. Kevin fucked up on the radio. Sure, of course. Oh, of course, you've seen. You have a double in the dots of drugs. I know not real not the heavy drugs. Did do eight. Yeah. I did know is the no one no adrenal grinds from babies. No, no. I did do an entire show. Hi, though. And I don't remember one second of it. And it was apparently a breakfast show. That's always bean. That's how cold bean. Gene. I don't. A cut page. Pain. It was one of those things where I tried edibles for the first time, and I didn't judge it. Right. And I was so there's no good way to judge so high that next day. Eat mortgage. You think it's not gonna kick in? Yeah. Yeah. At about fifty nine minutes, you go. This isn't working. And then you have another and then an old kicks it at once home life crumbles. Yeah. Exactly, you listen. This is others have fun. You might have watched these science programs. So you don't think fucking Deitz Jack three fucking Deitz. So you don't think makes much time with me and nothing rubs off carry on. I I'm sorry. So you don't think Megan Kelly should have been fired. Or you think I think what you said wasn't good. I don't know if it was far because it was very it was a very passing sort of comment, but I there's no excuse for backfires anymore. We have an agreement, and this is the thing. This is the thing with Rosa and how don't. Don't go back people. Okay. I don't do black face. Right. We're all that's the role. We all fucking know it now changes Cohen rang is old indict if you want to ginger up go feel life now also out of things don't ever affect the shape of your Feis. If you have to Asian up your is thinking. If you have to change the Sipe, oh color of your face. No, no. That's a good solid rule. You can early go Lauda you gonna go. It's fine to go lighter. But you go doggy geigo diet, you can be a black person that dresses like an Asian person. You can be an easy, but they're just like a Mexican Mexican drizzle like a wide. You can go that way. But why people I can only dress el-bahna, that's the only socially acceptable. All I could get the pink fucking context and die my head blonde. And then we're all having been on. What about if you want as a black L Bino? Still up on it. You can't do it. Yellow Menez is a reggae singer. Why? I'll probably get it when I'm older because Reggie my father has a Pachulia Pachulia. But it's the pigment thing that model that has it where you pigment goes on black. We will lose more it. Looks more aggressive on black doesn't wipe it with my father is losing his pigmentation through his skin. It's a Reggie thing. And I'll probably get when I'm old. That's why I've stayed pile. So no one will notice you are quite pale. I mean, that's very pilots destroying the world. This thinking about a strike, right? You wanna get is like if you ever six destroying going, you could you imagine going, but you could. I Jack listen, I'm throwing truths. Ministry. Go Duke before thirty do before thirty years. No lie the places horrendous. All the women said, he's like spike sixty fucking die. It's they will look like wallets. Anyway, if you're listening. It'd be listening from his lobbyist dry. That's a good tip though. And for you, Jack, especially he's not listening to a word. Anyway, we got to wrap this up because I'm not laughing at myself anymore. That's always the trigger. So so we did that we talk about a Halloween out its address like, Freddie, Mercury. That was fun. It was and what are you going is this Holloway? I'm not doing anything you all like, June, Jim how? But from the office you'd never dress up for Halloween. I used to just what what's the point or have a kid. I'm not going to trick or treat. Zing speed hump. I mean, I pretty much do that every day. God everyone's got fucking angry. Everyone. I'm not going to love the speed hump on going home. Goodnough destroy. Thank you, Kevin. You'll one of my favorite people on the planet. Top twenty. Not bad. That's not bad. Yeah. That's pretty good twenty. Or forty six. Voicemails Senate right now because people keep leaving shitty voicemail. There are few there. Okay. But where we'll save them. So that we have a few lineup. Well, what about the the horse video is going to go up exclusively on our podcast Facebook page. So if you're not on that page, you won't see the horse video. It's the horse video. If you don't mind my house played horse. Oh that wasn't the one. I was talking about. Sorry. I was thinking what's worse gay? Yeah. No, you're on there. I was. No. Yeah. The Jim and Forrest play Horace video that will be going up on Thursday. Can't wait. It's going to be great. Happy about that way. Jim has gotten up and walked out of the room. He does that every. Here's the podcast is over when he has to be okay. This out over because I'm still talking while. And you're welcome to keep going. I'm fine. I'm fine. I was just a we please leave us a voicemail that we can use. So don't like run bits and the way we have problems with that too. It's very difficult to get people to leave. Good voicemails, people aren't good. No. They're not good stuff because people don't leave voicemails anymore. Almost listen to voicemail. That's a good point. Maybe that's maybe we need to get a text number. Yeah. I text all day every day. That's all I do. Well, try your best. Everybody leaves a voicemail at eight three three or four five three six five three. Came back or eight three three four Jim Jeff and also promoted it last week, but go to my website four-shot net. List on a second. He's back. I'll be at side splitters, November twenty third Americans. And yeah, don't come to my show. You're telling American and then side splitters anyone from Josie also be in Australia. Here's some of the dates that people were asking about all five you'll be at the comics lounge February twenty seventh through March second of next year, probably filled with Greeks. Tickets are on sale already click on my website and go to that. And then I'll have the Sydney dates for the week before that the week before the week the wine, Ian. Twenty seven you're picking on all people who don't complain about it. That's pretty smart. This is all the people that say, they're listening to the end of the podcast. Hopefully, I don't know. And Kevin is there anything else you'd like to know? I'm good. You wanna play your show pug, your Holly success? Year old show. We gotta learn listeners on this. In Los Angeles. We're on k rock, we're still alive. I mean, that's our calling card basically, we're still alive. How many as is twenty eight twenty I one thousand nine hundred thirtieth. I come in. I know that like to have guests on the show any meal, we have you though. But can I come in and like do cocaine Brad Williams back just via thirty then Bush's gloss? Trae you can kick him if you want okay can kick him. He's not a person next group tools. You want wanna keep going Jim good? He's answering his phone scam. Luckily. Hello. Hello. Not scam likely. It's a scam likely when scans oh, I think I think I think I think she's married to to to to. What's the Ryan, ROY? Like, lively. Where you're going but his wife scam likely. All right. I think we're done. Jim a second time. This has been a comedy central podcast.