Thank you for listening to this. podcast one production available on Apple podcasts. And podcast one. All right bye knows that. Let me just take a minute out of your time before we get into today's episode with the New Year. Officially here everyone vowing to restrictive resolutions Pepsi wants to usher in the new decade a a bit differently and I respect that and that's by encouraging everyone to unapologetically do they enjoy even in the face of other judgment and I can get on board with that you know when you just need to break out into dance. Everyone might be giving you the funny looks. But you're enjoying it. You're feeling yourself you're living in the moment. So who cares what the haters think dancing whether I'm alone with Jason With family with the pops with friends it makes me feel like a million bucks. Let me do my thing Pepsi. That's what I like. The podcast one presents off the vine with Kate Libra scale take them as creating a space where girls can feel empowered to be themselves and get ready for lots of last topics on filter debate. Thank and wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's kaitlan alright. So it's pretty likely that you've heard of the recently maybe even taking the test or try to figure out what the heck it all means. Today I have someone here to answer all of your burning questions. My guest today has been studying the EH neograph program for over fifteen years. That's crazy to me because I didn't even know this existed until it's really blown up in the last. What like year gap It's your go-to source on instagram. Where you can follow her at your any aground coach and her website your any coach dot com so excited to sit down with her day and find out what that test we've been hearing about and talking about lately truly means? Please welcome to the PODCAST. Beth mcchord thank you so much for being here. Yeah Rabah Adamy very excited to talk about best because first of all can you just start by explaining what exactly is like yeah do why do people take it exactly so any any Graham is a Greek word. Any means nine grameen's Diagram so it's really showing that there are nine basic personality types and the immigrant is not telling you what you do which is what most talk of the typologies out there. This is showing you why you do what you do. Why you think feel and behave in particular ways? What are the motivations behind your actions and and so it's really fascinating and can get really creepy? It's like someone read my internal diary right. Yeah but how we use it is think of it as your internal GPS US you have a current location. which is your main integral type? You have a healthiest destination for your type. But as we know we can veer off course and land in and those common pitfalls you know how we get stuck in like. Why am I here again? Well the anyone's going to let you know like all your healthy attributes and amazing things but also what it's like when you derail but if you use that instead of just beating yourself up and having all the shame if he used it as a rumble strip like on the highway yeah where it alerts you like. Hey if you keep going this way if you keep thinking feeling clean and you're gonNA crash so why not like. Oh Yeah my typical pattern is that but I want to change and I'm GonNa move into a healthy direction for my I personally type doesn't mean you have to become all the other types right stick with what is best for you. How did you become involved in integral how here about this? Or Ido start to get into so about nineteen years ago. I was Liz as I think. Twice Sixth of the time I had three year old one year old and married for six years and I was at that stage of life where I just WanNa pull my hair out. You know like what is happening here and then especially when I would fall into these common pitfalls we're all trying to grow and learn mature and enjoy life and A. Why was I struggling and so much you know and of course you think no one else is long villone And so we have some friends that kind of just introduced to us. My husband was in seminary at the time so he was already devouring other books so he skimmed the book that they gave us and You know he thought it was interesting but I devoured it and one of the reasons is my type on the program. I'm Nosey ourselves the least just by just by how we are that nine Update night and so. It's Kinda like Internal Fox. Finally something was lean out out. Clearly what I couldn't have described on my own like what I read. It was like. Oh yeah that totally makes sense. That's exactly what's going on but I could never have said it so really helped. Actually our marriage marriage so that I can communicate a ham things I could never have in the past But then gave me empathy for my husband and why he did what he did so instead set of us kind of battling it out because he should do it my way I was able to see the world from his viewpoint. And that's really what the game is about like. We all have the other nine basic nick views of the world how we interpret events how we approach events and so if we can use this more as a tool for compassionate empathy mercy. Grace Forgiveness Love Manteca absolutely change just our life in our relationships and really the world. You're you're right because once I started looking into it and it was Russell Dickerson and his wife Kaley. That told me about it and when I took it and when I really dove into. I'm a three when I really dove into that. My ex was also a a three and it was like I mean honestly just explained everything Jimmy Yup just just from doing this test and researching about get your number told me so much information about myself that I never knew it really has just blow it up in the last year but it's been around for longtime longtime the symbol of you seat assemble. It's looks like a nine pointed star Yeah and that's dates back thousands of years the more modern day instagram which is more psychology personality type. Stuff is more geared from the fifty sixty s definitely into the states started in the seventies. But it was. You know the hard thing about the program is that we really wanted to keep it kind of small because it can be used incorrectly. A lot of times people use it as a sword or shield which we always. I tried to explain to use it as a story. This is the most exposing you and others will ever be. I mean this is kind of like you know any of those dreams and you have to go take an exam and you wake up and you don't have yeah pants on or something like that's what this is like. It is exposing your core motivations and so don't his sword where you're poking fun Mickey uh-huh putting people down or yourself and then don't use a shield like well type nine. Sometimes I have worked resonate with they do that now. We want to use. Is it as a tool for growth and transformation not an excuse and so when they kept it small it was to protect those kinds of things. which because it's such a complex system very deep it's very vast now? Of course you can use it a very high level and still experience a lot of growth but the hard thing is when people get a hold of this tool news amazing then they start telling others but they tell incorrect information and that gets spread and that you know how that goes Kinda like the what is it called the telephone game. Yeah and so oh and that can be a real problem because then if there's miscommunication on such a powerful tool it can actually be harmful so but you know with books and now the Internet and podcasts. KASA gets out there so we'd really try our best to just kind of lay it out simply clearly but also keep how profound it is right and I wanted to know if people can can change numbers. Okay the answer is known. Yes okay so we believe you're boerner type. Yeah and so that doesn't change your main type but when you get to understand the depth the complexity of the integration. You'll understand the actually always stay your main types so your main type has your core motivations. This is your core fear ear what you're always running away from trying to prevent your core desire. We are always trying to obtain. And then you have a core weakness. This is like or they call it the passion the deadly sin this is. What's tripping you up your Kelly's he'll then you're just like why can't this go away? And then you the core longing this is the message your heart has always longed to here so when you are trying to find your may type you. You wanted to look at those core motivations not the or behaviors because you and I are very different personalities. You're three and number nine in weaken love a clean home. Let's say but you're GONNA GONNA do it for different reasons. You're going to do it for image. I'm GonNa do it 'cause I don't WanNa mess with anything. I just WANNA relax chill nothing. That's the night you know. So we don't all outward behaviors behaviors. We'll look at the heart and so when we get to these kinds of things it really helps to Expose what the Ingraham MM is how to use it and kind of lost my train of thought because to your question I went back to the changing. How do we change numbers? Okay so as a type nine. I'm the peaceful zwolle mediator when you look at the symbol. My type sits at the very top. Think of it like a clock without ten eleven or twelve so nine sits at the very top I have two lines lines can like a starters stars little lines in it. My two lines connect with three and six win type. Nine is under stress. I'm GONNA take on. The averaged abridged the unhealthy aspects and characteristics of type six. So here's what is the six six is loyal Guardian. Okay so the nine Mike. Formative Asians is is peace harmony. No conflict not tension like can we just all get along the kind of thing but I don't know myself very well. That's part of the Korean but when I'm under stress this person who's like everything's going to be fine. Don't worry about it. All the sudden I become anxious testy worried worst. CASE SCENARIOS ARE RUNNING AMOK in my mind and it looks very different and so people around me can be like what just happened but if we use that like I said there's a rumble strip then I we know. Oh I'm starting to get in the weeds or or even just to recognize I'm under stress. Yeah what what needs to happen here. So we relate to go into to the airport. I live in Franklin Tennessee and of course you know where Nashville Airport is. Yes yes we were supposed to leave at a certain time around eight am. I overslept. Not The rest of the family me fifty minutes so as we're going of course during rush hour in school zones. I was moving towards that stress point of six where I was. You know. Totally anxious and irritable. No one else had done anything wrong but they were getting kind of the ramifications of it right but then as we were gone there era that rumble strip moment of. Oh what's going on so I just said Hey I own it. I'm sorry acting this way. It's leaning on you guys. I I totally apologize. I don't know if I could stop 'cause I am worried. I can get to the airport honesty. There and transparency but I owned my heart rate. Great Well Th. I actually really like hearing you say that because I think such a huge part in life of getting lost or angry or whatever is just acknowledging and and recognizing like an owning it like even if I have anxious moments or when I'm feeling depressed or anything I I've been in keeping track of like my period on an APP and I can look at that now and be like. Oh It's this day I'm going to own it and like you said I can't change it. Yeah I'm so irritable today but this now at least you know why that alone can give you a little bit of peace. Yeah well as I did that my thought was more not that. I can't change it because I really do think that there are so many things we can be mindful of. Yeah and correct course but what I was saying. I know my tendency is a nine is to moving this direction. It's going to be really hard to get out of it until we get there. But as I was still feeling that tension and fear of being late I was also mindful more of how I was treating everyone and to shift course so but then as a nine. So that's the one line moving to six the other line that I have is as I moved towards three. which is your tight now here this the nines? We don't think much of ourselves like. Oh you know no one wants to hear from me and my presence doesn't really matter others are more important important so we merged we go along to get along and we lose ourselves in the process. which is our Achilles heel? Our Core Weaknesses Slot in physical laziness is not knowing ourselves because we've merged with others so if you ask me well what's your favorite this or what do you want to do in the year I will be like a deer in headlights. 'cause I'm like I don't know. What do you want to do so a lot of times? Nines don't aren't go getters for themselves and their own goals but that's important because our voice our presence our desires to rate so so as a nine grows we want to move to some of the healthy attributes of type. Three threes are confident. They're go getters. They set goals their assertive. Those sort of some of the aspects that I need to learn to integrate into my own life so that I actually experienced my the fullness of nine trying to not be a nine I'm trying to be the healthiest healthiest version of mine as though by understanding how the type three can really help me. Is Super Powerful. So how many different stages in a number are their so many so like for like in the wings wings or the two numbers directly next to your number So me type. Nine the two numbers directly next to mine on the symbol are eight and one and again. I don't become them but I take attributes from them. Okay now if I'm unhealthy I'M GONNA take attributes from those types that are unhealthy. And when and I'm doing really well I'm GonNa take attributes that really well so the biggest thing that you really want to focus in on is are you healthy average or we call autopilot unhealthy. Because again if I'm moving to six or three like we were just talking about this the same thing I can take on aspects of both those numbers healthy to unhealthy and then my wings Is there's all those layers right In so there's actually quite a bit of layers it'd be it'd just go on and on. Yeah well it's I mean we can. We have a forty five minutes if we want. Hey so do you rent or own your home sure you do and I bet it can be hard work but you know what's easy is bundling policies policies with GEICO. GEICO makes it easy to bundle your homeowner's or renter's insurance along with your auto policy. It's a good thing too because you already have so much to do around around your home. Don't we know it go to GEICO DOT COM and get a quote. See how much you can save. It's GEICO easy. Visit GEICO DOT com. Today that's GEICO DOT COM as a three. Yeah so you're you're seeing there's Like a healthy way of being a three and then and then an unhealthy way and then did you say something else. Yes so like like just as a three we look at to look at the three as like a column any of the types at the top of the column was he. The third first third is healthy. Yeah and then average and then unhealthy thirty. So there's just that just as type three in K.. In how you think feel and operate but then you can move towards the other numbers at your. Your lines are connected to and your connected connected to nine and six now yours are. I mean we're we're in the triangle nine six and three. So but what's interesting. Is that when you move. Move to nine typically when you're under stress you're gonNA take on attributes of the type nine so but at three yard guys are go getters. I mean you just go go go. Oh and check things off the list and you're so excited when you check things off list but then it's like okay. What's next and that can be exhausting and most threes come to me for coaching? Say I just WANNA learn learn how to exhale and so on one side when you move to the nine. What's going to happen when you're under stress is like you've done done done and you literally just shut out and it's like like that is me? It could be like watching that flex or whatever you know. It is for the person's there's a wide range of things shutting down and that's the way that the three operates operates under stress. Now when you're growing the three who typically thinks everything's about their image like like look at me like I'm achieving They realize it is about us so when they moved to the healthy side of six sixes are the loyal Guardian. And they're more communal. They're thinking of others now. Then they have their own stuff right the variety and other things but one of three moves in a healthy direction towards type six and takes some of those aspects it becomes not just about me it becomes a US family community our workplace and they are great cheerleaders and know how to lift people up. I'm sure you know that means like to. Oh Yeah I could. Just listen to you talk about this all day and so the great thing about that is okay. So where at just has a three in my moving you now in my stress path or my growth path And there's even more layers to like because you you take on the healthy parts of six and unhealthy and the healthy and unhealthy of nine for you. That's a type theory and we do that with all of our numbers. So there's all these layers to like dig into we'll be back with more off the vine Kaitlyn Bristowe. Let's go now back to offer the vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe. So we've been any Graham coach so people can come to you and you can help them through their like Healthy and unhealthy okay and and so. Can people do that on the phone online. There's as an variety of ways. Okay okay so people are going to want to do this and I myself still want to so at your coach Dot Com. The upper right hand corner is a free test. Okay now the best way to find your type one is. That's a first step. It's not definitive. It is just to guide you because this test is trying to get to know. Why do you do but if you don't know yourself it's hard to take this test? Will I was GONNA say. Do you think people take the test. Same what they want. I believe that's why we always say okay. The test is about seventy eighty percent accurate. No matter which one you take a vinegar now some that are not from experts are probably pretty bad. And I wouldn't even go there but even the best ones it really is determined on. How will you know yourself in? Are you being honest because remember. The immigration is a non judgmental friend. And it says it like it is is whether you're doing great or not and so when you find your type a lot of times people kind of like grimace like you know because what we usually do humans. This is look at those less. You know healthy attributes. And we're like I'm the worst and so we don't Wanna be that site but so often what we need to see the full spectrum right And so the test is a great Guiding Post but you can also go to your any Graham coach Dot com forward slash core motivations and you can download a free pdf. It has all all nine core motivation. So you can really see. Why do I do what I do? What really trips me up when I get into conflict or when I get activated why and those will kind of help guide you in order to confirm your tight so once you've done that we have a discovering new course in this discovered helps you to discover the Ingraham and all these little nuances that I'm talking about an-and overview all types? Then the next step is exploring you. This is where I coach you through an online course through five sessions and I literally take you through all these little aspects of your type hyped just like I was doing with you type three to show you exactly how to break down your personality into these bite-size lessons so you're not so overwhelming like what is happening. You know so that that you can go. Oh yeah this totally makes sense and then it gives you like journaling. PROMS and other things. So that you can take that Until you do the next session I'm GonNa do this. Yeah so so. It's like very intriguing. I feel like it's also life changing. It is yeah. It's super life changing because again if we can own our stuff we can't change other people so we can let them know certain aspects like giving them clarifying statements of ourselves like what we need what we want. We can't change them but it also helps us to have empathy and compassion for are those that see the world differently. I think that's why it's so important. And maybe why the any grandma's blowing up right now is I think we're at a place where everyone just wants to be better and communicate indicate and understand each other and have empathy and get to know ourselves. I think everybody's just wanting that so badly that this can really help you do that. Yeah I mean like I think about you know our relationships for instance like when I was in the car with the family and I'm in my kids were like probably sixteen and eighteen at the time you know. I'm owning Lina Right. Like wouldn't you want your parents to say my bad. Yes and it's even more important than the family one is like Whoa. That's awesome But if they were to go oh yeah that's my mom struggles. That is her way of struggling and to go. It's okay because we really just want to hear. Here's someone owner and apologize and it's so much easier for us than than to have compassion to reach out to them is what I find is when I'm honest like that with my kids and own in my own stuff or ask for things from the viewpoint of me but not demanding it. They're much more likely to have compassion and to reach out to give things instead of being like. Oh yeah mom. You're so stupid. Our camera did that. You know and so by us being emotionally intelligent and to demonstrate that in front of our kids as they to grow up because we like I said I started using this when they won three my kids though right now. They're nineteen twenty one. They are very emotionally intelligent. Yeah and so we can have some really great great conversations. Now they're still nineteen twenty. They have a lot of growing to do. Yeah but we can have these conversations and us not freak out when honesty comes up and authenticity and realness and I think that's why you know it's really blowing up in the younger generation. Because that's what they're really wanting is authenticity and this literally lays it out there for you. How young can you be jeff to take the test and figure it out like yeah well it really depends on how mature you are because like my son's an old soul has always been an all so so he was able to find his type around thirteen? I would say probably in the teenage years is the beginning plays but it depends on how well they noticed no themselves. We know four year olds. That don't don't even themselves and are super immature so it depends on how well the person can go in word and to understand why they do what they do. And you don't WanNa type on the outside. Ah I can't type you or anyone else even as an interim coach. I really don't know why you do what you do. What people usually? They're seeing. These outward manifestations like oh he's gotta that'd be a seven and I'm like Kaiser so many layers you really don't know But all that to be said so but here's the thing with parents is I would zayd. Don't type your kids. You can eliminate some numbers kind of like. Oh I'm not seeing any caters in this number. This number and this number by would hold several loosely. Because both my kids like nate. I thought well maybe a one two or six. There's some overlapping attributes but when he was old enough and he saw types and read them he was able to go totally. I'm a sex and I was like really okay. We'll tell me so. We would talk through it to make sure my daughter on the other hand. I Thought Watch. She was a nine maybe two. She's a two totally too. But here's the thing as a to. They want to be loved. They're going to serve. They're going to help. And so she was more or less accommodating to my lifestyle marine me so that she could be loved. So it wasn't like she was consciously doing it right now. This is a personality style. Also she looked a lot like me but in our two teenagers as most of US teenagers do. Our parents are like what happened to you. You're not the same person. Yeah but it's our personalities saying I need to be me I'm just going to be me and it's a lot more raw. And that's one parents freak out but for her. Her Tunis came out in those teenagers and I was like. Oh there. It is like a horse gear too. We're like nothing alike because she can be TWOS and nine can have some quote unquote similar aspects various sorta of They want to give help and love the insert their help nine. I'm here if you need me. You know you don't want want to assume anything because we don't want conflict or tension of any kind so we'll like be accommodating but we're not gonNa tell you what to do twos it's all about. I have an opinion. I have a the helpful thing. Let me help you as a very different personality. So that's why you know I would just whether it's your best friend. Your parents just don't know until they verify their type alright by nose so we all know. Last week's episode of Siesta Key was drama drama drama with a side of awkward. You guys remember how Juliette we at Punched Khloe in the back of the head pulled out. Her poor extensions basically started a full out brawl at her party. Well chloe decided it would be a swell idea to threaten retina. Press Charges Against Juliet unless you came to her and begged for forgiveness. You know the natural way to rekindle friendship but not even Juliet ambushing Khloe to apologize. Apologize could help them this time. Next our boy Garrett woke up next to his ex keira he thought that that would lead to them dating again even more cringe. He invited hitter to come with him to see his friends. New Baby like honey no so brandon through this pirate party for his birthday. We finally saw Alex for the first time not without at least three women on his arm so thank goodness Juliette stayed home for this one guys. He ended up explaining declawing Kelsey that he also thinks Robbie is using Juliet for her or massive instable. Follow him. I gotta say those actions don't even hold a candle to the pain. Alex put Juliet through during their twelve breakup. Twelve do not miss the new episode of Siesta key tonight at eight seven central on MTV. Okay can we just go through each one of the numbers just just we don't have to just so we can give an idea to people who are listening of what they are. So if you don't mind going through the types I would love that. Okay so go from as fast as I can. I guess everyone like buckle your seatbelt. L. Here we go hang on okay so the type one is the moral perfectionist. Their core fear is varying being evil wrong corruptible unredeemable. They desire to be good good ethical moral on right and their core weakness is resentment. Now this is where they're suppressing anger that the world in themselves are not perfect and right but it comes out kind of as critical critical nece judgment because they think being angry would be wrong or bad which is our core fear Now their core longing along others to say or to WHO The message they want is you are good. That's what they're longing to hear. The type two is a supportive advisor. They fear being rejected unloved unwanted dispensable bowl. They desire to be loved wanted and appreciated now their core weaknesses pride. Now this is where they confidently no other people's thoughts and feelings and needs and will actually their feelings needs and going to insert their help because they want to hear that. You're thankful you're grateful. You appreciate them because because core longing is to here you are wanted and loved now the type three as you know the successful achiever. I'm like you could dive into this one more. If you ought to try to expand they fear failure being incompetent unworthy inefficient uh-huh incapable they desire to be valuable to have high status high regard to be admired by others into successful or achieve Now their core weakness is deceit now deceit here is that they deceive themselves into believing that they're only the image they present to others and that they need you too then embellish that persona so that others see more favorable image and can shape shift to any atmosphere there in just so amazing they can they can just be around anyone in comedy like. I'm sure like with podcast. That's just like easy for you like I could talk to anyone in threes totally can But what they think is. There is good as their last accomplishment. It's kind of like in like a place. Kicker and football years go to jail last kick so it's like they accomplished like yes but instantly they feel like they must find that next thing that next thing because they fear that if others don't see their accomplishments why would they be loved and so they're always wanting others to see their compliment so they know that they have worth and value and that they're lovable but ultimately what they long to here is you are simply loved for being you. You don't have to accomplish you don't have to achieve. You're just loved that. Feel like if someone said that. That's what my therapist tells me because we talk about any agreement and we get into that too and she has told me like she always reminds me. Like you have to know that your loved for being you just for being who you are. It's not about your image because because I grew up as a dancer and performer. And I always was you know in the mirror next to all these girls and ballet class and wanting into like look a certain way and present myself a certain way and be on. Yeah and that was what I thought. Yeah you know in and we have to realize allies at these are hard wired thoughts you know as a personality but the there's the healthy all the way to the unhealthy fats and so we want to tap into. What is the healthy offi way of viewing my perception offer the world? Because we're not wanting you to stop being a three or to whatever type you are we're wanting you to be the absolute best because that's that's where your free and when you're for your actually tapping into the healthy aspects of many of the types of not all the types And so for you as a three to recognize. It's obviously obviously the achievements that you've done and will do are amazing and we don't WanNa stop that right but we want it to be at a place of freedom where you can exhale you can be at peace yes you can learn how to just be a human being versus a human doing right right as a but that is good goes so contrary to the hard wiring of the thought the process of a three. And that's why understand it and then to go against it. Though it super hard you'll find great freedom and that's all growth is hard right bowling. We press into do it. It's really good. Yeah so anyway. So that's type. I've been pressing into a for awhile. Okay yes okay type okay type. Four is a romantic individualist. And they fear being Emotionally cut off plane mundane defective and flawed. and He desire to be unique special and they're most authentic self so their core weaknesses embi and and this is where they feel that. There's something tragically flawed or missing inside them and others possess qualities that they lack. So think of as like. We're doing like my family and I were doing a puzzle for Christmas right and we're like all excited like we picked out a special puzzle. We're going to put together a Chevy one And so that's how it is for each of us. Let's say we're all puzzles in fours putting their puzzle together. I can't wait to show you the unique creative beautiful puzzle that they have inside but then they look at it and there's a big missing piece right in them at all and it's like oh it's defective and fly auto. Show anyone this you know but they look around. Everyone else's puzzles and everyone else's puzzles are complete and so the MVP. What they think is missing in them that others have now? There's not not anything missing but of course it feels so real and true what they long to. Here's your loved scene for exactly who you are special and unique and so for them to go against the grain rain to recognize knowing him special unique. There's nothing missing in me is so important for the type for the type. Five is the investigative thinker now. They fear being incompetent. I am knowledgeable. being depleted of their internal energy and resources and the desire to be knowledgeable capable insightful And have lots of wisdom and insight now. They're corey is address now avarice doesn't mean greedy with money which it normally does this. Is they feel that. They only have so so much. Inner Interactive Energy and that too much interaction with others will lead catastrophic depletion. So what they do is they cannot withhold themselves and pull back to basically ration out this energy resource so think of them as a cell phone battery that has been plugged in all night and I only have twenty to twenty percent battery life for the whole day to interact with others. Well if you only have twenty percent you're not gonna just be doing all the streaming of Netflix and all these things you're going to ration it out so you'll see that fives love. I love a lot of a line alone time to recharge. But when they're with people you're going to see some boundaries kind of okay. I can't do that. That's too much you see a lot of pushback and kind of withhold themselves because they fear this catastrophic depletion. I haven't met a lot of fives. uh-huh yeah there's I mean I would love to see like a real study on statistics so maybe in the future when there's more people understand it and actually type themselves correctly. We can't find that but I don't myself run into either but One reason they might be just right into themselves here right. So that's fair to here is your knees or not a problem now. The type six is the Guardian. They fear fear itself being blamed targeted physically abandoned alone but they also fear not having support security and guidance which is their core or desire now their core weakness or The passionate other teachers called the Ashland daily Sun is anxiety now. Everyone can be anxious. This isn't just for success during Zaidi comes from constantly trying to think and prevent worst-case scenarios negative outcomes. Now we're it really comes from from for them is that they have an inner committee. I didn't say this earlier but type. Ones have a one loud inner critic. That is berating them with all imperfections of the world and it sounds like the ones out out there looking for the imperfections. They don't come into a room like this and go. Oh that's wrong. That's wrong. The inner critic screams at them and berates them until it's fixed and so then that comes out which which is the whole resentment part that we talked about Nella six is on the other hand have an inner committee and Enter Committee is training in from all directions with all viewpoints. Like well. What about this did you think about that? Did you plan for this. What about that you know? And so it's Kinda like well. Which one do I listen to like? which path do I take? So they have a lot of 'em indecisiveness and self doubt Sevilla outside themselves for The truth whether it's in a person mentor belief system But they can also be very suspicious and so they struggle with anxiety of I will I know the right good path to keep safe and secure and to be guided now their core longing to hear you are safe and secure now type sevens are are entertaining optimist and they have lots of energy and they're kind of like tigger kind of bouncing around this. This is my boyfriend but okay so you this will really resume subdue the type seven's fear Having to deal with emotions and to be trapped to be deprived to not to be limited limited to not be able to go out and have a ton of fun though the drew almost of the world now their core desires to be fully satisfied and content. Putting never feel like now you. You wouldn't notice that sometimes from the outside but inside they struggle with a core weakness of gluttony. This isn't just about food though. They do love lots variety food. This is that they feel that. There's something gene missing inside like. There's an empty bucket in there that they have is insatiable desire to fill themselves up with experiences stimulation and fun that maybe fill it up enough. I will be satisfied content happy but think of it as having holes so they keep doing and going experiencing and it's like wait is still not fully okay. I'm GONNA keep going and and go. Everything's GonNa be fun and great but the key never feeling that satisfaction and so that's the struggle but the more their present and acc for the moment and see the blessings around them and just live in it the more they actually do feel satisfied and content. Now what they long to hear Is that you will be taking taking care of. Let's take a second who does not wanna find the best brands. In all lifestyle categories combined with fast free one day shipping free returns and twenty four seven customer customer. Care no one that too but you shouldn't have to scroll through hundreds of products to read reviews trying to spot fakes in order to get one day. Shipping Vera shop is a new online online shopping site with the fashionable brands. 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Representatives presentative are available twenty four seven by phone text or email shop Vera shop for the fastest free shipping out there and with my Promo Code New Era shop customers can take fifteen percent off the first purchase to try it out. Go to bear shop DOT COM use my code vine that's V. E. R. S. H. O. P. dot com with the code bovine for fifteen percent off your first purchase exclusions apply now the type as are the protective challengers and they fear being harmed challenge controlled at the mercy of injustice. They desire to protect themselves and their small inner circle of like family or friends that they are very connected to now their core weakness is lustre. Success we kinda talk. I talk about eighteen. A snowplow where in Nashville. We don't even notice simply Canada so I do. I grew up in Kansas the city so we get lots of snow. But you know those big diesel snowplows and if we didn't have those big we're not talking about a Ford pickup truck with a shovel not front if you don't have these big massive diesels missile diesel snow piles. The highway is or the roads. Aren't going to really be adequately Plowed so we need them. But you don't need them plowing a path with you in front of it right so he eats a really plowing pass for others at times in this big diesel snowplow. But they don't even see who's around them you know but if they will see who's around them and say hey get behind I got you man. It is glorious. They are so powerful there so mighty. They're so intense and they can do so much good for others Think of a healthy version of a type would be Dr Martin Luther King Junior Lots of people's rights movement but he was the front runner and he took on the opposition. And it's just such a beautiful description. an image of wouldn't healthy. It looks like So they that's their core weaknesses that lust access so we need them just to. Hey just be not noting. WHO's around? Get them behind you now. Their core longing is you will not be betrayed now. Last unleashes says the peaceful mediator nine. We fear tension discord Not Having you know harmony and peace with others and only one is inter their stability and peace of mind which we think. This isn't shouldn't be hard. We'll see nine C. all perspectives. And so we can mediate. We can go. I see their view. Oh I see their view like let's just get along but our core weakness law like I said earlier we don't know ourselves very well 'cause we're going along to get along And so it's our job to wake up to ourselves. What one of my passions nations with my desires but what we long to hear is your presence matters and that's all nine types that's great? That was the best breakdown I've ever heard in everything I'm like. Okay okay okay. Got And I'M GONNA listen to this. That's why it says. Back buckle up yeah. That was good. That was really good. We'll be back with more off the vine this Kaitlyn Alan Bristow calling all glee you ask for it and show mance is delivering joined former Glee Stars. Best Friends Kevin and Mikhail and Jenna Bush poets as they take you behind the scenes with all the glee tea and breakdown episodes from season one of Glee with former cast members producers and writers that brought the show to life. Be Sure to subscribe to show mance. podcast one apple podcasts. And many other podcast APP so you can get new episodes every week. You're listening to off the vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe. Okay let's do little any Graham myth or fact K.. So myth or fact you can be more than one number false right You can be a combination of two or more numbers. Yes if you understand what I'm talking about. Yeah you can and should get the same number from every test. That would be awesome. If you're probably not okay. Yeah Oh really really well because not all tests are by the same person okay and not all tests are going to be done by an expert and so they You know put in at least like a clean home. I'm like well. Everyone can like a clean home right. Yep Okay Certain numbers are more able to achieve goals than others know. The any Graham is a newer personality test that is now coming to light in some ways. Yes in some ways no I mean. Obviously it's been around since like the seventies but it is coming to light in the more recent years I love that it is You can easily identify the number of those close to you. Such as friends and family know you'd be surprised at what you thought you knew and what you've actually don't I encourage everyone to not only just take the test but really like like like research the number and and do your course. That sounds incredible. I'm going to do it well like even if you go back to my instagram. So you're any Graham coach back to January of two thousand nineteen. Yeah I do a series on the instincts'll subtypes so each type has actually three subtypes to it. And there's you know we've even talked about the wings things which is another subject and there's all these different types but in the instinctual subtypes. There's actually one of the three for all of the types that's called the counter type that means it actually actually goes counter to the normal kind of way of at Type Nannies till the same core motivations But how they deal with it is counter to what we typically read about it so you might be like. Oh they're not eight at all because of this that and the other and it's actually will. What's their core motivations? That's where it all hinges those core motivations Sion's so interesting okay so people. Some people on twitter had some questions. Give you this girl. Her name is Ray Burgundy. That's funny because it's probably like. Oh yeah her her thing is. I'm Ray Burgundy. Oh yeah okay how to stop feeling annoying as an enthusiast seven in a world that can be so negative ooh Yeah that is hard I mean because it is hard for any of us like we all have the things that annoy us You know if you're GONNA talk to a type one. They're gonNA be annoyed that the sevens don't deal with like the things but yeah I mean we are in a world that can be very negative on the news. Oh my goodness right But I think the more that the seven so if I were to be coaching US right now. The seven their growth path is moving towards the type. Five attributes the healthy parts of type five and that's going inward that's actually thinking and experiencing you're in our world and actually looking in the present moment in observing irving. What's around you now all this Evans going? Oh my gosh that sounds terrible but the more that they can be present and savor. What's in front of them the more? They're actually actually going to experience even if it's a negative situation if they can pull out these nuggets of what's good and actually being at not just in their mind going to the next thing they're actually going to experience agreeance more joy now. We're not talking about happiness but more joy even and what could be sorrowful so again every type is going to have to kind of figure that out in there I really like this question. Lauren Greece and says what are the most compatible types. Yeah I get that all the time so we wrote a book a call becoming us. Yeah Book Now My husband and I.. Majority of what we do is from a Christian perspective so just want to kind of throw that out there for people they understand that pod Did we get that question all the time. And here's the honest answer. I'm not just kind of like saying this. To be kind of Nice to people. The healthier any of types are it doesn't matter what combination it Esten K. It's all about health. If you are healthy you could be double types like you were saying a three and a three. You could be an eight and nine. You could be a five to seven. I mean some of these numbers people go but that's like the complete opposite. I could see how they would really struggle. Yeah and I've met all of them and I've coached all of them actually have a course for all forty five couple types. Yeah it was it was. It was pretty extensive. Actually feels like I'm in. Your living room is pretty creepy. But I show you what your dances like. Halt the dance dance. Dance is like when you're not doing well and let your dance. Looks like when you are doing well and so every time I go through all forty five so I know any of the forty five types if you are selfish self consumed you want your way you demand at your way your relationship GonNa fall apart If you learn about yourself and you grow yourself you're not trying and change everyone else to get your mold but if you grow you will actually see that you'll become healthy and that relationship will really change now. They have to grow right. Yeah it takes two to tango. So if they're healthy that is going to be a factor but if the two of you are healthy man. I don't care what types I've I've met two eights that are super healthy man. They're incredible really has. Yeah so that's all about learning each other and how they deal with their or stress and how you can help. That's yeah. That's that's a good point. Everyone Watson over the best place is to take the test. Yeah actually I would say that I mean art test is actually really good. Yeah and it's your coach Dot com forward slash Actually I think it's test but just your underground coach Dot Com and the upper right hand corner is the test button And then again you're integral coach dot com slash core. Motivations is that download to look at Korman divisions nations and to think through like I just got in an argument with my you know best friend or my coworker like what was going inside me. What was activating me? That's that's what you're looking for okay. Jordan Dryer says a lot of any Graham studies indicate a childhood wound. Does everybody have one. Yes but here's the thing I don't call it a childhood wind because what it how it lands on me is my parents purposely. Did something or someone did something that wounded me. I call it. The interpreted childhood message because sometimes our parents did something said something that we thought what was happening but because of our hardwired with these messages we inferred that message to the situation so you could have nine kids and a family online different types. They're watching watching experiencing the same thing was going through a small trauma or big trauma and all nine types going to see and experience it from their own perspective out of and how their childhood message inside them so the childhood message of the three Do you want me to say yes. Please hired up so the the childhood message of the type three are- that you experienced life through and salt through is that you Can't have your own emotions or identity. You need to push that aside and take on the persona sonal or the image to be successful to be in my herbal this as Andre de now. Could you pinpoint where that happened. You don't have to even say what it is but Reggie pinpoint where that yeah and was it was it directly to you. Or inferred inferred and so now if you were let's say a different type they think of you know some of the other types we talked about. Could you see how different type may have interpreted that same situation. Listen differently. Of course. Yeah so same with me so my my mom Are when I was a little kid. My Dad was a doctor. And this is okay. This is back in the eighties so I'm older people. So but back then drug companies gave them make these little trinkets dumb so he had like twelve move. pocket-sized shirt pocket size address. Books that were like paper. It's not even like nice so it probably the drug company Oman who wants that. Nobody wants that. So Oh but you know. He brought them home and put on the table. You probably I would just like to write in them and I was like five at the time and I had this little entrepreneur mine. Yeah and I was like I'm GonNa go take these little neighborhood. I'm selling for five cents so I started going and you know my neighbors pipe. That was so cute little five year old and of course five if sense horse so I think I did it to like three houses in the my mom's all what it was doing. She was horrified and she called me back and she was actually really nice about it but also totally embarrassed and was like you need to take that money back. We'll as a nine my interpreter. Childhood messages you shouldn't assert yourself. Yeah so that started. A cascade of thoughts don't assert yourself just follow just go along to get along. Don't you know make ripples. You know no and but that wasn't what she was saying yeah it would just don't sell like drug rep scammed people right and so but now was it. You know anyway all that to be said I've had to work through that message but I could have said my mom's said this to me. You no no no. Don't get me wrong. There's some families out there that are literally directly sane. Your message childhood message to you and that makes it even more more complicated and difficult but sometimes we just have interpreted things through our Lens And so I think it's really important for people to kind of take a step back and look at that and to work through that issue you from a more accurate vantage point. Because they've been told are believed these things for so long and that's in time where you don't know anything else about yourself so to come Amata that it's GonNa take a lot of work. I think a lot of people want you know. Oh I'm going to take the test and have a quick fix thing. I will always have that message. Don't assert yourself. So here I have a thriving. Business will be released ten bucks this year but everything in me is still saying. Don't assert yourself don assert yourself as though I have to know that that is the message. That's always popping up in me so that I can counteract it I can go no my presence matters and my voice matters and I can assert myself of but if I didn't know that I would fall to it more often than I should right so good for you for doing what you do because you are helping so many people even helping me right now. I'm like all oh your by being on my pocket okay. Last question is from Danny Blob. So we kind of talked about this earlier earlier with wanting to know like your kids Personality type but she asks are there tests for young kids to help determine their type and how to parent that types but but I mean we kind of touched on that but is there something you recommend for people to you. Know there is a There's a book out there on parenting Lisboa goal wrote The any grant made easy and then also book on parenting. I forgot the actual name of the parenting book. But if you just Google Parenting or or actually just Google the eight easy. They're they're thin small books with illustrations on it but the interim made easy as actually pretty good book for beginners. Okay it's it's in Scotland. SNL Some illustrations in there that make it kind of fun and that could be an easy way to introduce you know maybe elementary kids to just to give them vocabulary. Oh Caballero and a little bit more emotional intelligence and there are other book. The parenting book actually might give you a lot of really good insights. We actually have a free. PF download that gives you like like check boxes like You know are these typical things of your kid and you can kind of check them off. Obviously it doesn't mean Oh. I checked off all ten. Mike it is this type uh-huh because we cannot name a type it will give you a heads up in. It's your coach Dot com forward slash. Parenting Okay Oh. That's good to know. Okay well I just find the so fascinating. I could talk to you a lot longer. But thank you so much for being here and explaining everything and it was really really Fascinating for me to hear all the types so no matter. What people's all types like I liked hearing about other people's types as well we actually for those that really want from a faith perspective again a heads up we are releasing nine bucks call the collection action and we actually released it on December tenth and I basically walked through their personality kind of like the online course? It's a little bit more simplified But if you did it like like you and your boyfriend yeah then. It's twenty one days to break down. Your personality is the same topics. Papa obviously gets type specific so you could be on the same day revealing each other what you learned. Oh I love this kind of stuff. So Much Jason. I've actually done like so many online couples courses things because we love getting to know each other and like figuring figuring out how we how we're wired so this'll be our next our next thing that we do so at your coach your dot com. You can find you and and all the things all things you so much for being incredible and I loved every second of it thank you thanks. Thanks for listening to off the vine with Kaitlyn bristowe get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast one dot com the podcast one APP and describe on Apple podcasts. This weeks off the vine is sponsored by Pepsi. Pepsi Cola has always been a product that evokes enjoyment and in spite of the judgement that can now accompany its consumption is and always has been a refreshingly delicious indulgence Pepsi. That's what I like. GYCO GO TO GEICO DOT COM and in fifteen eighteen minutes you could be saving fifteen percent or more on car insurance extra money in your pocket. It just may be the most rewarding to do you do today. MTV's Sukey Ketchup on Siesta key every episode streaming now on MTV dot com and the APP and get ready to dive into the new season on Tuesday January seventh at eight o'clock clock Eastern Pacific and seven o'clock central on MTV and Vera shop shop various shop for the fastest free shipping out there and with my Promo Code New air shop customers customers can take fifteen percent off the first purchase to try it out. Just go to shop DOT COM and use my code vine.