Make Your Vagina Quack Like a Duck!
What about it? I haven't had any? I mean I I liked the porn guy. That was good Dick but I couldn't just give adding suction on. It was good guy in good. You rarely find good guy. Yeah I slap it on. The floor is really weird. The fact that it wasn't just yours. He had his cat out of my drawer. Land from the bed. Like we're sitting there making out and all this stuff and his at all and so started doing he's got something for you and then went into his room and right where be like. He should've slept on his forehead. In eight. Stucco floor might not know. So we're now I was like no today. We're don't weird. Look like that'd be hot but now it's not mine you that's the thing if it was like. Hey let's go to the store and buy fucking. Yeah and I renew readout bring like tonight. Can You bring your own sex? Yeah so the man's on the couch in your on the floor. And you're on a diller. You're giving him had at the same time. It's fucking hot I haven't done but I haven't Utah my Ns Bigan too big so you can't miss it. So you can I think Dildos overrated on. Not when you're okay and that kind of where you need a big one that's extended where sorry we had to do it again. It healing I will be tall or your lips are gonNA miss. You can't do both. You can do logistics correct understanding so just say Yeah Long Short. I yeah that that was true but that was a good wehner. Oh there's that word your word your Weiner check the press. St Thank you and welcome to dirty to me where we give you more than just the we go bowls. Jason. I'm Tamra Keeling. Come join us. We're going to do this okay. And I didn't Fart that that was a that was it. I don't have to ever do that again. Watch me listen to me. Listen it's fail so we'RE GOING TO JUMP ON WE'RE GONNA WE'RE GONNA go down in a bucket list of things you need to do sexually before you you die before we do that. I mean we got some jokes for you. We're going to have a joke off. Doku off like a Jack. Off Jack off and this list is news to Tequila. And I I don't know any of the I don't know in delays. It's going to be a price on it and I like I like the surprisingly okay prizes. I will surprise torrential a bucket list so We'll start as we always do. I'll do a quote of the day you ladies will enjoy this one. I think Ooh let's hope so. It's called the Lorena Bobbitt damn painful. This one is for the ladies when engaging in some hard core booty sex squeeze your butt cheeks together. As tight you can start violently jumping thrashing your ass around in an effort to rip his dig off. I'm doing that now. To achieve through Lorraina status you must take the severed Dick for a drive in. Toss it out the window The Lorena Bobbitt have some special shit to get off. Though I mean cut that off I think you really just need boobs and vagina to get it and Lynch. Had that would not be happy. Because is that a Dick constipated. If you're that angry you're gonNA area for right. Absolutely you're you're not gonNA fucking do it. You're GONNA now if you're angry you're not gonNa fuck let him fuck in the ass either usually do. Lorena Bobbitt Justin. How you're cutting out all. Yeah just cut it off. You want a little before you she didn't. I don't think she wanted any. I know that not good not good. I heard that guy did a porno. At some point he did act John and yes his own. Beckon Mr. Kick me off the podcast. Your words are fun. Don't be silly. No they hate they did. They sewed it back on and then started doing horn. And I think that's how we made money. Yeah because everybody wanted to see his son Beck. Yeah I WANNA see that I. I'm sure juicy and find something. Who's worn the chick that shot? The Guy. Shot the wife Amy Fisher. She shot her mistresses husband when she was a teenager. Her mistress's wife lost me. Joey BUTTAFUOCO was the how. But if you go with that was longtime nine hour in like she does porn now too or did porn legs weird. How all these in. The chick was having an affair with. Anthony Weiner flex she did porn. Clearly you know Anthony Weiner now I do. I don't know it's Weiner keeping EP Weiner we like yours Weiner. Yeah I don't know only Weiner now that'd be horrible can you as it as a man having your carts cut off no? I cannot now all the nerve. And that's it know everybody's listening. Yeah usually don't tell them that's a surprise me for a loser. Episode Sean. Hannity shocked devastated. More thrilled right. You just have to ask. I know bearded man he might be bearded man Pogo Sherry and miss an apple and bearded man okay so we are a bucket bucket list things you need to do sexually before you die. I'm pretty sure so most of us. Some of these uncaring. If not all of them Kay. Let's see store with kiss a girl where I've never done it you ever had. Oh have you ever. I kissed a girl in high school. He had but it really can. No no it was just a pet like a drunk now. Yeah I had one past girlfriends and she had a beautiful girl. wonderful boyfriend but sh-. I would spend the night at her house and we slept together. I mean that's where do you sleep in the same bed type in the same I? I've not gotten a quote once from killing. No no I not slept with her one hundred ninety but we kissed one night Yeah Drunk. I can't remember what else we dealt with acuity and policies leasing. Yeah for now. Yeah unless that dries up with what's going on. It's Yeah Okay. You were seeing this girl. S I R history girl. It was yes I kissed a couple. Do you have a preference? You'd like the smoothness of the lady or the breath the scruffy nece. There are things I like about both. I like to masculinity of a man. Okay me too I really and then I like the soft sinfulness of a woman nether to completely different and the Ernie on that feeling they both turned me on Saturday. Just nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong. It is different. I mean they are different is night and day yes J I haven't done Were I remembered and I and I love the feeling of a one. The feeling of a masculine man that can be soft and sensual and sexy in four. Thanks I want to power ranking of a kiss concern me on thinking thinking of making out or thinking twirling a kid can just make me tingle. You know something that symbol means to. But that's only of of all of it. It's it's it's a heck would would. That is a chick reading this single. Just Save There's visuals happening here at under. You could say it. But it's like dot crackling and that would be my vagina is for real. That's what let's just short SONAM battalion. S. Make Yourself Orgasm. Now if you think about things are like really focus on your China will do that. Just seems like a bomb on a troll never to have anal that's-that's already crashed. I knew Leyla to wait. What's so frustrating had anal. Are we checking off this list? Because we've done that sold now so now yeah so so I would say in. The last couple of years is the first time I've been I've had my ass eat now and this and that which when I was younger the thought of it just I was like ooh gross. Yeah Yeah Gross me out now. I'm Larry Oh shit. Yeah get down day down there yes you know and now. I'm discovered okay. I was stupid Williams over so but you guys have ever had like marathon sacks were okay the sex in Vagina your marathon. Sex is so great and then you go wash everything and then you go into the anal and it's amazing orgasms like we talked about. There's there's orgasm acquaints everywhere and it's fucking amazing if he had the right spot. It's amazing men Yeah My last sexual counter to just. I miss him already. It was amazing. You know and he everything at the same time all night long. I miss him. Yeah I'm not gonNA say his name. Please beep it out for a take it away. Now it's it's wonderful just got experience I was thrilled literally okay. We've done that. We we have also now. I received or anything like that. I haven't done anything. I've not ever tried like anal beads but just regular ill dated a girl in we went to the the megaplex down. Yeah that long thing where it starts small and it gets bigger and Friday and she hated. She felt stupid. Identify how she fancied herself as a a super proficient sexual person and Jews all upset because at being hurt. It was yeah. I don't know it either. It was like it was like a a law. She said it was it was like a and then the balls there's balls on it. There's late yes like a big a bunch of balls that get smaller bigger smaller big and she said it was just not comfortable now and it doesn't matter how. I mean you pull a minute. There's all kinds of techniques. Just why Ammann's in your vagina. And then they pull a little bit on the handlebars you. Put them up there little bit and it's supposed to like release some pleasure. N- no you have not but plugs and speed not. Try Not a fan. Now I done it you you know. I like the act of when you're so passionate after you've had such good sex that you're going and using the anti barrier so it's workup. It's like we've talked about before. No you have to get to that erotic level or like and then you head since everything's worked right and you've Orgasms D- with your g spot and vibrators twice. Used there yet. No now I just I've had had Because that anal sex with with a white on my Torres Oh yeah that will that will send. You won't even there's no words it's like silent in Your Coma Leisure Sadler afterwards and then you WanNa do it right again and then you can't walk for it's a good perm or shit right for a week at that. It doesn't even matter that was saying that was wrong number three threesome ever had a threesome. I have had sex with another couple in the same room but have not exchanged or mingled partners. I have not had a threesome and that is on my bucket list. I want a man and a woman don't necessarily want to men. I WANNA man or woman wants to mimicking. I would prefer to man. I refer to women. I imagine each have different Ryan at different much. Okay I have no interest in being making in a room with another man why I just has no. I just have no interest in it whether it be a buzzkill just telling US I. I came close once with a guy that was on. This used to be on the show Mike We one night we were. We were out at my old house drinking with a girl that we worked with and we all get drunk and she wanted to have a threesome. Mike was crazy into like he's like sexual freak and he wants to do anything and everything or whatever and avas dislike had a couple beers finally I was like all right. Fuck it and we're going to do it. We were going up the stairs and then she apparently I think she took some drugs or something because we were like up the stairs going on the door and then see like kind of like she went from drunk to like off the rails like in coherent in sober. I put her in the and we went back downstairs and Mike was what could get guys Yeah let's let's let's talk completely hypothetically and let's say we're in a scenario and and the woman you know goes down on you makes it goes down on you. And then let's say somebody like Mike Decides you know to work or from the other end You're probably not going to stop that. No we're now doing. And and and it's probably not gonNA face you other than not keeping eye contact with two gentlemen. That's now no learning like dude. I got this lead way often. Says you know you just well in porn. I like watching the porn lake or one man's on one end and one on the other or one man's at the asa one. I love watching that because that woman is just that feels even less ability to be. Because you're nuts are just rub us for men you have to be and so is it is. Is that done that often in real life or is that just porno because it's nastiest fuck that then it's hunting holy it doesn't have an S. and your vagina filled up. It depends on how deep you are into it into the sex. At that moment you guys love stricken no you guys now. I'd rather be getting some Dick on one in having the women. The woman doing all the other pleasurable fondling because up. Trust me at women's probably a little bit better at it you know. She knows her body is like having a chick. Sit on my face while other tickets riding Or even like even fucking a chick from behind. She's eaten the other. Check out looking amazing. Saw I just? I would rather have the Combo you or two women for that matter. I wouldn't I wouldn't object to that either. A few toys and women's toys are amazing. I hang out there just as a stranger to walk pine hold it career. I got a crew your mouth. Yeah I know anytime. I feel like Maverick and ICEMAN. It'd be the friend you'd be my week man see store. Have you ever had phone sex? Yes I like. Yeah but I'm not. I'm not good at talking. I think Not Real good at it and I've tried not good and now I don't know how you do it. It's like well you're interested in an energy start talking and then pictures. You're you're interested in. You're interested they're talking to you and pictures. I have to be Israel so I can hear it so visual but then again what are you doing? You're playing with yourself and you're telling each other what you're doing and you're telling and so you have to like that person that you're or saddle. I had a long deacs. 'cause I've done that so it was basically clear masturbating mainly what he was telling me to do the end. That sounds. I thought he would just sit and talk about you. Know a play with this or do this or do this with a toy or you know the whole entire time in and so. I'm doing exactly what he's telling me to do to myself and vice versa. And so and basically you're hit. It was just communicating back and forth in being audible about what you were doing and how it was feeling but you know in general. I don't feel like I'm real good at it. Yeah while nobody's real good at. Have you guys ever read like the back of a porn? Mem- member the porn magazines. Were they other? People were seeking other lovers. It's like craigslist for sex partners and it may still be out there personals. Yeah and it's nasty as fuck and it's superb were right you don't have actual stores now. They have the sexual stories. So have you ever read those with your lover? It's it's like watching porn. But it's more detailed because it's in your mind and you can visualize it you're visualizing we want that person and it may not be the person next to you And it's hot as just hottest faulk Have you all ever used a toy on somebody else? Yeah I would think land like on their spot again. I'M NOT GONNA say Amos Budi Cornhole I add. La High of using mutual toys. Conquering swith vibrators walker norm I have used bullets where there are certain bullets. You can insert and then you can be fucked. So you are vibrating internally. Oh like he's L. O. A. We vibe sank as like a thing whereas in you and then it's on you know but this is like a bullet. This is a bullet bowlen's on the house. Side Asana Cochrane. 'cause yeah and you know you can. There are several that are universal in so And I again my earlier days. You know I never de amid later days I've discovered just way too much fun soup. You know but I like my shell in my forties dudes find yourself a lady in her forties man all you sell having all you ever try new shit. Have Y'all ever tied like all your parts up. Have you ever been tied up or tied somebody? That's the next one this is. This is bucket list score. Yeah absolutely like have you ever had your titties like so tied up or it hurts. We haven't got let him ask questions. Have you ever tried a bit tighter? Precisely excuse me I went so lost. I knew I haven't had my titties tied up. I've been tied up and your vagina. I like all like bondage China and I I want to be nasty. That's on my bucket list. Just letting you guys know Big Bucket lists wait for my word. So Okay I've done this. I wanted to do it again like you. I just I happen to enjoy being at the mercy of somebody else. I happen to enjoy that. You know yes you know this leg things you know Have no idea I think about the bad salary of erotic tale coming up you ever had a fantasy episode. Oh Yeah. Nfc of you never done. We want people to send in common. I really day one and I still i. I like being tied up but I still if you had a blindfold into that since me through really. I like a blindfold as you can't see what's going. I don't know what they're you know. I 'cause all your other senses are south heightened U S as ing and also not being able to see him in not knowing what he's doing and it all being say. I'm not so much you can tie the. It's another level of being vulnerable. Now I WANNA and letting somebody be in complete control value. Yeah and yes but once you get to that level and you give it up she who really Garrett I I like watching now voyeurism has checks in a public place. Oh Yeah Yeah. Lots Real Harz party got caught. Oh I and I. I've done it on a public l. Football field in river in cars in bathrooms we. It was knee and my ex. It was part of the most exciting part of our relationship. We just were just highly sexual ethics citing though citing fun sex in the middle of a thunderstorm in a canyon On a big rock it was a sexist thing should have been in a movie was just the hottest thing ever for him and for me and But Yeah I've been caught because we enjoy doing that. Yes we but Lova but yeah we had. We had a great two years and years in. We never got tired of it. Thirteen years now never got old. We had a ball Have you ever watched anybody else? Have sex lives just sat there and watched. I would love tire. I my thing not lie. I really love for Ariza. The coolest thing I've ever seen through it is. I had to be twenty years ago now but I went down to St for somebody's Bachelor Party and went into Anything with bar is where it's just a wall of different shots. It's great by Shakespeare's might not be there anymore. But we went in there. Were sitting there at the Bar. We turn around. And there's this chicken those one of those high barstools or whatever and his other chick just hikes her skirt up middle of the bar ground. I mean it's late at night one in the morning as she pulls her side and just starts going down in the middle of a bar and I'm like well. These are not going to get arrested because fucking hot rod party of Array or whatever I would love to actually watch. I ever sleep on though. I didn't realize it really years and years ago. I won't specifically say who I was with. And who watched but Unbeknownst to us as we were having one hell of a time Eiden we did not realize a friend of ours. Male friend of ours was watching the whole team. That's a little weird. Though it was we was weird nine. Oh yeah it items? And unfortunately I mean he's he's he became a part of the family and and Yeah income not realize that. He sat there and watch the room. We were in for some reason. It was an apartment. Had Windows in it Did Not realize that he could see us from the other room. You didn't realize their Washington we yes. It is weird and her warriors himself. People are love. Boy I I I love it but I would never say why it's not like I wouldn't walk into you in a man having sex I be like fuck. I'm getting away. You're watch in everything from. We played with ice cubes. We were doing now. I know he went down on me doing you know and the whole time. He sat and watched and we didn't even know he was there and I'm shocked. I think he probably had a few too much to drink. One time in told us you know on guy right okay. Did our whole things we knew he was. I remember I I did. You've been there and I you cover up okay. So guys whole foods. I knew that it was okay. So in New Orleans can go. Oh Yeah Oh my God okay I will walk into bars and what an watch lifestyle watch live sex on burglary says it says early Liga. Life's okay so you're not dirty me have a road. Trout fail to do it. You guys. It's hot as fact it's not like the sex you want but it sex lives live which. I've never experienced. I'm never totally Slash Heart Center board that your heart and your vagina. We'll be doing this thing down. Yeah during Mardi Gras. 'cause I cannot take they are. They're all do it like in the summer when the guy is lands hours. And you know what else? The women are dressed. Naked hot sexy. The manner hot sexy whenever you see bodies like that and they come together and it's just like a mesh of sex. I WANNA watch. I love that. Yeah I would love that such a turn on. Yeah you can't I I mean I would love. I'm not like when I watch porn. I don't enjoy watching lesbian porn. Not I WOULD. Love live to watch two year behind a lot? Yeah you're just watching. It's hard as is is the way they do it for the cameras so you know when you watch it and we know what feels good in. We can sit and watch and go. Yeah we know bulldog man you know we know I know but we had parties senior younger and it was like Toronto parties because I grew up in an era where everybody yeah different thing It was very fun to watch your friends but everybody was so experimental. Now as like the seventies continued a little bit. Yeah I in the eighties. It wasn't quite the same. I did too but it continued in where I lived. I love the eighties. That's my era. Okay I am too but yeah probably experienced look at where I love. Yeah in Boulder Colorado. Everything was free free love. There was so much we love the sixty seven. It continued for a minute. What number would you last question? We'll do one more question. John Maher or have you ever had sex with a total stranger absolutely four and now I love it I I was I one night. Saint you me a hot guy and of course you had a had one night stands and did not now. Did you meet him off on that? That's a liar. Everybody's done it. Yeah it's not a date it's like yeah it's try. That's a physical one. I haven't had very many warm. Ideally bringing more than. She's days it. This week scored twice no dry. I had one one I stand. I used to film weddings as a side. Gig With my friends and now stealing a wedding in. Houston I believe and I hit it off with one of the bridesmaid's lay. She was really attract feed. Looney tunes. Weddings are bad and at the end of the night I was going to drive back to Austin Dam and she came out late it was like ten or eleven night and I was GonNa take off and she came out she said. What are you doing and I was like. I mean by hitting out walking stick around and I was like Oh can we stuck around and then we kind of just shoot the shit and ended up. It was at a hotel the reception so we just ended up getting room and Lang Brian. Okay Ditto okay except except my guy was in the wedding as well. He was from Australia and it was the same night. Heroes at a rally and another guy in the wedding. It was all in the same room. Is that what you side by side? And they're in one bed. Were in the other in so almost yeah weddings or dangerous. I love weddings. We should crack wife but I won't. We need a crash. Reading's reading cry. I need to go and go to already on the agenda. We want everybody. July weekend isn't three day week. We should go the fourth of July out three or four days. I already weakened off. We'll go to New Orleans I mean. Let's let's planet long weekend Stewart. I haven't loved that. That's a fun road trip to Asia and we don't have to die on the way with like someone race to watch rob a bank and okay don't they. They don't go through Texas so that's how they do that but it's not gonNA. It's always a girl road trip. We'll get the great. We'll get we'll probably bring some spouses take. Johnny bear has to come or comes. Yeah Bram all his fucking bullshit. Oh Okay Yeah. That's that'd be so fun. Funny Joke I was GONNA say. Let's finish were at. We're out of time with layer little quick. When I'll start with and it's simple it's why don't hillbillies like the reverse cowgirl was it? You never turn your back on family bad. It's not politically correct. Not In the current day. I have a homophobic joke. I used to tell me gay jokes. He's a gay guy would call. Tell me a joke and hang up on me. So how do you know you've been at a gay picnic? All the wieners tastes like Shit. All right well. It was good to get the game the band together. Yeah it's been a while we've been in quarantine. Were actually breaking the law right now. We are just podcast gesture. Podcast WE are breaking. Revolution will not be televised. Beat PODCAST WE'RE GONNA. We'll probably get together next week. We'll have a hopefully we'll have a special guest your own something. We have not done before. It's going to be very interesting. Yes it will go check out the next step so it's GonNa be and with that little tidbit. I'm Jason. I'm Tamra this is keenly. He's see