Mincing I won't be coming home and rather be alone checked on him. She doesn't fully understand we rally then cheese <music> Gimme sometime I can be the man she needs this ladder <unk> inside of me and we've been together since our teenage years a really don't mean heard but on the he sometime to be alone. I don't know where to hell. He someone you don't say Oh and then finally gains crying out onto me. I'd slap the shit out of a negative. Just really somebody Rabbi's Donald Trump Donald Jones house. Make sure he doing okay if it had if like if the hat is on the door you know not to not boy by that Negga would not be seen H._B._O.. That's the original Pappas praise the Lord praise the Lord is welcome back to gain grown which a Ghia I'm here <hes> jade and we are back to talk about the scale that is adulting the good the bad the ugly has two trials. The twists turns the temptation and the tax liabilities of note in the Airolo at twenty nineteen. It costs money to be an adult these days big bucks. The government wants to thing okay center some money we don't she and I see and I don't we don't see eye to eye woo. She's and rice all right government anywhere. I am doing ok yet alive in the land of the living. We're graded grappling glad about it. I am you know working still on travel. <hes> in these woods hopefully making a difference in helping you know institutionally to understand the ways in which they are complicit yeah in maintaining systems and structures of inequity equity in our educational systems. You know work. I'm trying. I actually you know what we talked about negative last week so I'm gonNA stop right there. I am I am doing my best. I'm having some challenges but I'm grateful to be doing the best that I can in this moment. How are you bet a chickeny chickeny? Check yourself says I'm proud Gosh Booze show. I love it. I'm cool. I'm <hes> I'm <hes> getting adjusted to this self-employment life <hes> yeah well yeah. I keep changing up the making sure I don't say unemployment. It's self employment <hes> so you know just really like it's a lot of organizing and a lot of you know making sure. All your stuff is legit. I think I said it before you know I used to have me H._R.. Department and this and that but now I'm all of those things and <hes> <hes> while it's a bit overwhelming. It's a good thing is just making sure that I do things properly set myself up the success so show you right. I can't complain about it but it's summertime and I'm trying to enjoy the the three and a half weeks that we have of hopefully I'll get around to it before. It's all I know this. I was like I was about to ask I faced. I'm kidding I was like are you bet oh and then I saw the room and I was like Oh you're not I sorry oh shadows everybody. We opened up two more nights for Philly Chicago. We opened up a couple more tickets actually fulfilling because phillies sold out but we have a few literally just a few more tickets available in open so get those if you can for the first weekend of August Opus Dinner Party Saturday. I think it's the third in the fourth or the third and the fourth and then the seventeenth and the eighteenth we will be in Chicago. Oh and I'm super excited about this so shout out to everybody in. Thank you so much for everybody who bought tickets and thank you to everybody who expressed interest in. I'm sorry that we can open up no more tickets but that just means we gotta come back. Yes it. Does I mean go on and get your food. Eat your things. You won't be sorry at the Dope is dinner party. You heard it here first. Well we got. We got a couple of trash. Gosh a couple of trashes has no might say to get into so let's get clean up women in here to do her fuck. Fazlur sis come along McLean all right so we have have a little trash to get into <hes>. We're going to start off with something kinda heavy. I'm not sure if you've heard of sadie Roberts Joseph I have sadie a hair us. Unfortunately sadie Roberts Joseph was a an advocate <hes> she founded the odeal s Williams now and then African American Museum in Baton Rouge Louisiana <hes> she was an activist she hosted the June Eighteenth Festival festivities <hes> for the for the city she just was just an icon and amazing <hes> and she passed away. She was actually killed. Let me not even she was murdered murder <hes> she was found so there was an anonymous tip that was called in and <hes> she was found. I think just if I'm if I remember correctly just three miles in the trunk of her own car from her home Jesus <hes> so clearly you know if I it's just that's not that that's not a coincidence. That's not an accident <hes> in and I can't you know we don't know who did this but I know that it's a sensitive time right. Now is a it's a real sensitive time right now and we have to be careful especially with this wicked wicked administration and just wicked forces that be period we just we have to be careful and so all of the condolences to her family community lost somebody who was so valuable <hes> <hes> and it's tragic and I really hope that justice is served. I really really do so all of our prayers and condolences to the family absolutely onto something a little lighter making the band is coming back. All right is the D._A.. Be Handy D._A.. Be let them fight just shots dialer dialer Thailand Thailand Undying Hilas babs babs. I don't listen wherever she is. I hope she's well and not just the <UNK> here and for who she is babs bathrooms than icon babs is an Ikea. She underrated okay and I want to know where she is. The last time I saw babs was about two thousand and four that's we're we're all of them die Lon in Dhillon Dhillon and dialed in Thailand. I miss him. Where is he that we would have dialogue comes back? He's like I'm now in us that Titian earning doc somewhere doing skin research trying to figure it out in you know we just come back. He's going to make a comeback and tell us all that he's a doctor. That's what I really feel is happening right now. That's the the only place that supported as supportive artfully what else we got here but yeah they coming back twenty twenty and it's going to be global. I'm sure you man puffy says that he's going to go. International this time and diva was the boy group was their names who came out of making the band was the Damn Bay Twenty eight twenty six. Let me tell you who is a fan where you too key Nicole Robinson the first. Where are you honey hours in line? I love the voice so you love CD. <hes> I think my favorite was the one with the stunted braids didn't do what a mess that debris it was one who had really stunted breathes Chevy Mike was I was a Finnish heavy minded love me some sandwiches when he made them grow chief thing. Would you seek out astrology heart but I really liked. I really liked the album. My favorite song was Costa. You're not like that awesome. Maybe clearly not enough comedian rhys right. Now I WANNA do is ghost although the right lays hey let's hold though we bout to look day. Twenty six rank with fish shipping. Gone doesn't seem that game since you've been gone that was it yeah oh in bed all the jam just love all I remember the song it wasn't this the theme song of the show Yeah Yeah <hes> I loved the ban more than I like twenty six j the same saying I mean I mean I love your day twenty to day when mud I loved him girls. What's the name Oh oh Danny Cain? Will you know that's because a good number of them. Got On my nerves from vanity came that good like a like the larger majority at Aubrey O'Day ooh child she's still she's still on <hes> she'd have been on all the reality shows at this point. I don't know what these days but she don't need them she but she made my nipples which I mean shrew. She literally washed her Lebron's. Yes like I got that dirty dirty dingy band like I'm like oh terrible. Somebody's fills me bras draft sick out there to the tank Tom. I can't deal with her girl. I love you. I know who my girl was. Absolutely I used to love me see with always came to thing and she stayed optimize and I want to know what happened to Sarah from the band with the McDonald's eyebrows. She was so irritating that old about her she she was just unnecessary. I'm like this. This band has no utility for something like one of these things that belong. It wished we know sense. y'All got on a problematic. I think they had some domestic abuse issues about remember karate memory lay back down memory lane. I'm excited about the man I mean. We just love that kind of reality T._v.. And I'm glad that did he is going to do the right thing because we know that you know right to say that you know whether or not the the group actually successful musically they want this. It's in the cards that they won't be. I need to realize realized Oh. Do you like I do. Follow him as the Graham do what's he doing. These days challenges trying to keep his wife. She's just so irritated by him. Eh She's trying to keep her. She's been irritated as long as I've known for about the past five years so if things haven't changed I just don't know I just don't know if they will but though that was a that was that was a good time for T._v.. Absolutely I'm glad they were coming back. There's Laurie I hope he brings her back with her little little. Nothing's boop while you're at a five six seven eight little muffin pick it up. I miss her so much but but <hes> we all know that everything that that did he touches dims. You know what I'm saying like but it will still make for entertaining T._v.. Have you heard about the area fifty one raid so you know there's a facebook group about people who are going ray area fifty one well. The government has spoken up in May said they're getting the air force is ready and they're putting a warning out there that there will be severity if people try to eight rate raid area fifty one so. Can I ask what may be a dumb question. What is area if they want or why do people want to rate it well because the government? Government is not they're not forthcoming. I mean I'm personally. Is that the route that I would take no. Are they looking for information. Yes what are they what people are saying. The government is is is keeping information from us in clearly if you all willing to set up armed forces against people not do I think it's the brightest thing shot a raid area fifty one no i. I don't feel like this is a yeah. This is not going to bode well. Maybe maybe that ain't knit friends because <hes> you know like there's got to be away. We have to do things that you notice you got to copied you have to you have to copy the enemy in order to overtake it right. You can't change the game you're not playing can't and see why people have been doing for centuries upon centuries upon centuries is is sneaking in doing things quite cowardly so what we gotta do is we try to infiltrate from the back. Maybe just busted up in the bitch light. CLEO from set it off is it might not be the best we saw what happened with finish whatever you do I would not publicize it on. I mean you're going to sign a petition to say I too am GonNa put on my black Hoodie in and buck up or hair like that might not be that might not be the way friends offense but let's figure it out. I'm willing to be down with the smart ways but then I don't know about that one we'll but the government you know how they are and they'll do anything to keep their should a secret so Jemaine do pre Oh oh Jesus funniest look Nigga in all of hip hop at least top five Money Bang Ferrari Jaguar which a phone as top down Oscar without but he ate the thing that was my jam. I'M NOT GONNA lie to you into with a window cracked holler beheading right if it if it only in showing our age so sorry but so he made some comments recently any always making comments he is you know like just like Roadway Brooklyn stays bumping her gums just like that that's our coast either on but he made some comments recently about how all he sees as far as female rappers concerned and I'm this is me paraphrasing so no this is not a direct quote but basically that the female rappers of today are strippers is like strippers wrapping and that's all all he sees. It's not true talent or anybody who's not doesn't have like a stripper stripper to wrap it about their push or whatever I would just like the record to reflect their one thing we won't do is say they're strippers are not talented. Individuals is okay first and foremost those are the most talented wrap wrapped like lyrical ability aside. Both women are athletes. Their multifaceted says I just feel like we are. We what we will not do as besmirch their cosmetologists. You know what I'm saying. We won't I mean we will respect. We will respect the industry. There's no need need to kind of. Just you know throw these words around. I personally don't feel like I know enough about rap period but specifically like female rappers. I don't feel like I don't know I can't I smell you know. I feel like this is some B._S.. Just because you know it is I'm GONNA say some B._S.. Because what I don't really really a understand or appreciate is I feel like Whoa. Why is it okay for men to talk about fakes like because I feel like all all all male rappers at one point or another talk about six? Maybe I shouldn't say all but the large majority of them do so what I don't understand why there is such a public outcry or why nine public outcry but why would somebody like Jemaine debris say something like this like which would he had the same critique of male of male rappers of this time because I think that has to be put on the table as well. Where was this energy when trill vill was singing about <unk> out somebody juggling their balls where you're saying energy and I don't think it's like why would you call out women what they are lambing? You know it is it's safe to say if view look at like current songs that are popular now that there is that the amongst female rappers that you know women are reclaiming their time and their voices around wrapping around certain kinds of things things and activities and that's the thing but that's not new. I don't feel like this is nice. Not Knowing where it was hell grand departure from C.. Bronco Camp Train of the baddest bitch like this. This is something that is not like this is is not a new phenomenon so I my eyebrows furrowed of this. It's not new that's first and foremost it's not new be nick is missing about this shit for decades and nobody said anything anything. niggers have been rapping about their dicks for decades and not frown online at all and no one questions their moral compass or or their business acumen human based on the songs but why is it you know the city girls they make the stallion and people are out here saying that they feel like the quality of of all rap music is gone down. It's quality of rap. Music is gone down for Mega talion then and his has got to have gone down for the rest of these who are out here mumbling syllables. I understand what you're saying. I don't even know what it was. I don't know your name. I don't know how to pronounce it. There is a nickname it misspelled modern Te'o in apparently you're supposed to say like made in Tokyo nowhere but we'll get. It looks like modern tio I'm doing. I'm not doing it but then debris this. There's there's terror wack Maekelae forty-seven there's greasy. There are a number of women here who are wrapping and I don't think there's anything wrong about rapid about you. And who was the young lady. Let's be clear the young lady that that was that the read the Kaley forty seven <hes> Oh yes okay and <hes> yeah actions to shut up and I love James and is she can out rapper nigger I mean but there's nothing the wrong with the eaves and the Cardi B.'s and little Kim's either on the Megan the stock. There's nothing wrong with that either. In Jemaine do pre can just shut his ugly ass up and I know we're not supposed to call people ugly but that Nigga is ugly and I don't want to hear anything else from him. I mean I just but I mean from what I understand. <hes> he is recently put his put his money where his mouth is and he's having some sort of showcase for yeah so I don't know I don't know what that means <hes> for the young for the young female lyricist out there in the world <hes> but listen go get your main breeze money if given it away I mean if you so choose to go on his show. Don't rap about your pocketbook because clearly this nick is going to have something to say about it so anyway that got on my nerves in in our Olympic Sonam. <hes> does your cat both made videos. They listed off rappers and they also maybe clowning him. <hes> does your cat call them. Jemaine Derby I. I don't know what it is but that was it was funny. I I the bitch on Macau. Yes that's all I got. I don't know anything else but our video was funny. Oh and then lastly you actually added this to the trash. Do you WanNa talk about the Serena Williams so as Arena Williams recently <hes> I think took silver at Wimbledon and during the press conference with asked a question that was posed I think or ask her a question around a comment that was made by fellow tennis player. Why will win Tim Tennis player by the name of Billie Jean King that said something to the effect of like you know when is as Billie Jean King wish that that Serena would focus on like what she was stopped doing things like fighting for equality and just focus on tennis? Maybe she would be a better or maybe she will win or be a better tennis player those kinds of things <hes> and you know someone kindly got her together until her that like you know what I will be doing is minding my business making this money and I will be fighting for quality onto. I'm in my grave beside people who like me and you because I mean it's it's hard out here for all of us. Why you overhear worried about me and my he should be worried about over your even know who you were before you said exactly and I'm I'm trying to? I'm trying to help you <hes> but I just think is is really fascinating. How <hes> people don't really realize how comments can be like steeped in privilege like or or their experience experience well that's true but like <hes> she was her comments were insinuating that because Serena was doing things like you know being a wife and a mother and <hes> advocating for you know the pay gap closing the pay gap in <hes> equity <hes> both within and beyond tennis at a national and global levels levels? It's like you know just because your your job is to swing this tennis racket. Exclusively don't be mad because the Lord is giving me more responsibility. You know what I'm saying. Don't be mad because I can handle more and I could do more things where eight for mouse mouse awhile and I'm doing all of this and Wimbledon while you ma'am are at home eating checks mix. So what exactly are you saying yeah and you know people you know. People have been kind of common in about saying whether or not they didn't think they believe Jean. King was kind of taken a shot at Serena but that's neither here nor there <hes> the bottom line is Serena is a grown woman and she can do whatever she wants and the fact that the matter is she's the first black woman tennis player to be on the cover of Forbes and making millions of dollars in Harper's bazaar and doing all of these wonderful fabulous things while you're in the bleachers with your judgments while I don't know who you are so just please please and thank you get on Outta Serena's business. She's over there married to that man and raising that baby and making more money than your Mama ever will so shut up cleanly. Please thank they were they say grace and frankly. There's this old white woman cuss that her husband is shut the fuck up she was like I want you to shut the fuck up that you reach the highest mountain of fucks to shut up. It was so funny. That's what I want her to do. And that's the trash this week all right. That's the tries. Let's go GONNA get us into a shoutout. Okay all right so we got some. We got a bevy of emails of different genres do so action Eh Bevy Smith but hey maybe I <hes> I picked one. I three. That's the name of her pocket or her Sirius X._M.. Show right devastation sir. That's such a such a good name. I didn't know that that's so good. I love it so we have a email to refit. Shed says okay dear Jaden Kia first of all. I just want you both to know I've been listening to the show since it started and I'm so proud of the growth both of you have made in your professional life since the beginning. It's been a joy to see I love where team type and fast as going me too. Thanks so much and congratulations Jay at one officially working for yourself. Thank thank you for your shoutout to my sis. I would like to shout out my good friend. Dr Alicia Cheek the founder of the restart up life a career consulting Business Alicia is one of those selfless friends who supports what everyone else is doing but never ask for help so I thought it would be fitting to give her the shout she's one of those friends whose wives and always good at giving advice and I go with her. I go to her with all my mess and she always gives me what I need without judgment. She's a P._H._d.. Biochemist by day Hash tag team type in real real fast and career consultant by night. She's poured her all into this business and I've seen it grow from a resume writing service to now being a full blown career consulting business. She does all this as a bomb wife mom fulltime scientists working in biotech and she somehow. Somehow find the time to volunteer as a mentor for other black women coming up in stem. She's a superwoman for Rilya so she hopes she hosted a Webinar and because we were in the middle of the graduation announcements unfortunately it's past <hes> but we'll be sure to post her information in the description box. Thank you both in advance for letting me shot up my sis Dr Cheek she so dope in the work that she's doing is so impactful important sincerely Karen so we wanNA thank caring for writing in and we WANNA shot out Dr Lee Cheek Sheikh <hes> and the restart up life so it was the restart up life dot com is where you can find her again. We will post all of that information in the description box. Shout out to you Dr Cheek girl you out here out here out doing the work so I have been working with hellofresh lately and I have no idea why I waited so long with America's number one milk hellofresh. You'll get easy seasonal recipes in pre measured ingredients delivered right to to your door. 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Let me tell you they might have given me my favorite recipe the they did a crispy hot honey chicken sandwich. Oh my God it was everything that that might be literally my favorite recipe today and I have several of them so for eighty dollars off your first month of hellofresh go to hellofresh. Hello fresh dot com slash grown eighty. An integral eighty is like receiving eight mills free only at hellofresh dot com slash grown eighty promo code grown eighty while you're enjoying your heart girl bummer. There's a better choice for those hot sweaty days on an aluminum free coconut deodorant from Covari camparis cooking is a cleaner alternative to traditional deodorants if Vegan and it does not contain silicone sulfates Parabens G._M._O.'s malls or baking soda it keeps you fresh with plant based actives like sage oil and coconut oil is great if you've got sensitive skin or if you're looking for the Orient with subtle scent or if you just don't want a bunch of questionable ingredients on your oh body plus it goes on smooth and doesn't leave behind a sticky white residue the original sent smells like sweet coconut milk and there's also a fragrance reversion <hes> there's also two new sense one call beach and other call Gardenia you never ever ever have to worry about running out of deodorant because Qatari officers subscription says you can get automatically shift to the house or the free with the money back guarantee so there's no reason not to try now you know it is indeed a very hot that summer although my summer if running lukewarm right now either way I wanna smell a mazing and I left the party because I smell like a blue Hawaiian when I sweat and I really really enjoy the original coconut sent I've also enjoyed beach <hes> Gardenias a little bit too far away from me but beach is just the right. It's just so good but I like Bijan original and like I said grow you'd be out here smelling so good even in your perspiration so get you some go to Campari beauty dot com slash grown <hes> to save five whole American dollars off your first urine order when you subscribe Campari k. o. p. r. Art Beauty dot com slash grown cafaro beauty dot com slash grown okay so key is traveling for work and it's been a busy week so we thought we keep it life this week so we're GonNa do some top fives. We're just GonNa have some fun conversation. Ask each other a couple of top fives with our top five favorite whatever's. I don't know what key is GONNA ask. You don't know what I'M GONNA ask. I don't know what I'm GONNA. Ask Him. Shuki don't know what she is but we're GonNa let it flow and we're GonNa let it be a fun lighthearted kitchen table talk this week and then we have a really good kitchen table talk for you guys next week. I'm really excited about so. Let's see I'll go. I won't put you on the spot but thank you so much problem but then I'm putting you on the spot because these questions are you. What are some of your top five favorite movies? This is in no particular order okay. It's just GONNA be five of my favorite movies. I can't rank them because then that would be too much stress okay but I'm just GONNA start listing five movies that I love <hes> since I'm not prepared. It's hard to just kinda like going in order. We figured it would come from this so absolutely movies that I love the first movie is coming to my mind right. Now is the women of Brewster Place <music>. Everybody in that movie is Legend Right now. Yes somebody posted a mean and I reposted the mean had the cast picture from the women of brewster place and literally everybody in the picture is a legend and <hes> Sicily ties and Robin Givens Oprah Lynn Whitfield rouser Louis so much so many awesome amazing people in one movie so the women have boosted places definitely my top five okay closely followed by the Jackson five in America Monica yes because I could probably recite the movie Ver- <unk> Bay word for word like I just know I just know in his just known every mountain and <music> you got to cut you had to tighten up there in every stream a little baby that little baby really sunk along Dan like oh lord string follow every rainbow. Do you find your dream. That will need thing. All the love you so good at so that is what pays that was only the color purple. The color purple seems like the right thing to say because I know that one as well but I'm going to try to get the more current movies because I feel like I'm way back in into in the stone ages wow I will say black. Panther is one of my favorite movies because I saw it so many times and it's just like it was just really it was just a beautiful film to watch and I kind of know that verbatim as well because we have watch we have from the mountain bicycles. Okay Okay Dang that was I gotta say like <hes> <hes> TAP FAI tap five movies first of all time. It's got to come to America or something okay okay. I feel like all my stuff was old but yet so with the exception of like fanfare so yeah your turn and I'm sure I should enough prepared for this but we're flying by the seat of our pain. How can we picked this kitchen table? Talk five minutes before we recorded. It was unable to can this. That's why this is what it is my top five the temptations. Oh my God oh my God. I can't believe I didn't say the five heartbeats because I got nothing you be but yes the temptations because ain't nobody coming if the U._S.. Nobody coming to see you David Ruffin and the temptations that sounds Nice it is one of my favorite movies of all time on <hes> get a little weepy Blue Navy to get them ribs and just never can't again. He's like I'm a long way I that is I don't I have never pinned anything in my life on instagram but one day I said in wash that sensations movie and just made stories and had myself a Wang Dang doodle and that is the only thing that I have instagram so the temptations lean on me sad when and why we're nice to stop the white boys to see Greece China you smoke cracking. You Smoke Greg don't you just jump on met is literally one of the best movies of all time in one of my favorite writers argue your mother so Lena meet temptations. <hes> let me see here Brooklyn Crooked in Wayne Jonah movie whatever your name when Queenie flu can all. I rewound that they on a V. C.. R. I mean it's been twenty five years. I still laugh like I have never seen him before. She said much talk what a minute ooh shots my Nigga Chris. He played one of the siblings with the broke. Our that was one eight three. That is my moving okay so Crook Lynn Lean on me the temptations. Let's see what else we got. <hes> fried green tomatoes okay. I'll give it to them movie legend which a love Fried Green Tomatoes Tonawanda and let me see what else we got. I have so many <hes> what's the last one cameras killer season. Ah masterpiece about it does what might beat him. Pretend what why do. I know that it'd be <hes> this is. This is a letter FIS shows you one of the reasons why key in our friends behind the seat okay. You're okay tap five all right okay. Let's do television shows okay top five television shows go forth and be great. The boondocks <hes> do one of my favorites of all time <unk> Seinfeld me and my brother used to make sound film in the middle of the night we had but based blank rapid what kind of Seinfeld Boondocks Damn Sir. Let me see Oh. This is hard. You sound like founder glide may two two seven. Let's good true that in their golden girls dammit I and <hes>. Living single I mean if you've got some of the same ones that's fine my me and Mike could have arrived my favorite. My favorite show all times. Everybody knows is a different world because I I just I watched that show right now and still laugh like if Nineteen ninety-two say <hes> 'cause Whitley is listen. Jasmine guy is comedic genius. Don't care what anybody says ever especially Jasmine Guy Debbie Allen together goal okay. Oh my gold just the way that she said things I was watching the episode it was some season Sakes and Whitley was sad and she went to club with Cam and Freddie and Spencer was trying to bag Kim so he sent them some Rum Punch right and they were sitting at the bar that he came over and was like did you ladies enjoying your drinks with was like yes. We did thank the she said thank you what is wrong with you outside of different the world is outside of season. One is really so so good like when when <hes> my favorite episode ever I think is when Dwayne had to write the poem and he wrote it about math and Whitley while he he was riding in about her so there was a line in the poem. He said that was his elliptical lips right so he was reading a poem. He got the deadline he said Elliptical Lives Whitley. It is a little ration- it's wonderful wonderful lyrical best deliberation. It's wonderful Oh God atkin literally watch that show for hours and hours about to watch after we finished recording to be honest <hes> so a different world is my number one okay tab show of all times following closely thereafter and listen. I don't want you read your emails so you can just save it the cosby show oh I mean listen. You didn't say the nigger you said the cost June it is show I'm talking about the huxtable huckster that lived on stig would avenue and Bedford stuyvesant Knbr Brooklyn. I'm talking about them. Yes there were several other cast members absolutely so I don't WanNa hear it in. This is what I said so just let me say it. Okay thank then it would have to be like the golden girls of course <hes> we cannot do anything without <hes> Sophia Rose Blanche and Dorothy <hes> and okay okay so that's three zero are you. I think our health I am Dorothy. Okay I can see I'm dorothy because dorothy shade is unmatched. You are Dorsey with with with a smidge of Blanche just a Smith a sledge right because I'm not out here like Dorothy couldn't buy a day and we all know just kidding negative self talk Dorothy Dorothy. I'm Dorothy which is a splash of Babich switching just a smidge okay you are you are your Sophia through true untrue. If you take shit I agree with it. I stand with it because Jay always got something to say. She's always a little bit her all the time okay with a surly face. I look angry ninety five percent of the time I'll be there smiling like a Cheshire cat or I'm I look so good okay so the golden girls that's three limit single is probably on my listen. Were worse and I feel like I got to say like <hes>. Let us show that I have to watch all the time yama fix the top five but it's this show that just okay well. Okay sure let's give it to Rhonda OCCAS. Give it to Rondo. Let's give it to Rhonda. I I'm going right. Oh my Gosh yes indeed okay your let me see we say movies T._V.. Shows top five songs ooh girl at this they don't can you at leafs. Give me a genre like I cannot do. You have to give me some parameters. This makes it easier for you. If you can go all over the place no because then I only have five yes so named for okay. They don't have to be your top five but named five of your favorite songs of all time of all time word gave money. They gave money biggie smalls as okay. That's that's just this is in no particular order because I am under great stress in this heart. <hes> I have nothing by Whitney Houston <hes> stuttering by Jasmin Kelvin okay <hes> don't play that song for me by a wreath Louise frankly whole name instead and and this is the last one but this is just the five songs that came to mind the quickest. I will have to say man I know the artists but I'm trying to pick one song by this artist and then like low key impossible here and now by luther no no no I take that back so amazing by Lutherans onny Vandross okay so amazing to probably absolutely and I feel like a heated because I did not mention a Gospel Song which I know that I love Jesus. I okay man just because you don't Mention Gospel Russell don't love Jesus and nobody I don't even listen to Gospel using so I won't be judged. Maybe by unique is but <HES> top five songs. Yes this is hard but some of my favorite songs of all time if I may only lists five joy inside my tears and rocket love by Stephen Hardaway Morris those are two. They are two songs okay. There's two to Stevie wonder songs on there. Okay The star of story by heat wave we are though Oh here oh man I should say no Anita Baker neither Jesus this is so hard because you can only lose five the all day all night Bob Marley and the wailers Noah allies <hes> the song just makes me happy the strawberry letter twenty three by the brothers Johnson. Are we like forty thirty nine lastly come live with me angel by Marvin Gaye Gosh and welcome to nineteen seventy John Son see seen why this morning I was driving out here to the woods and somebody else's guy came on my or my Scheffel and went on to tell you I was in a mean rock and in the car I know I mean you would think that I I was in full performance and I was singing along because if you do not know lady than Jen I'm I'm GonNa pull it up here. They should be on my watch is I was just listening to the Apple. Watch a gold band is from Amazon Beer. Yes girl gets the money else's guy by Jocelyn Brown. Tell Ya somethin' if you like. I'M GONNA make a playlist one day that features churches songs that are about Ho Shit. I think thing that would be a really good kitchen table talk. Actually I think that there are so many rb songs that are so very church church cords and really just kind of embody church culture but Jocelyn with thinking about another woman man yes with all of the soul and anointing listen and I was like Yo this is this right here is a song ladies and Gentlemen Hello Barbara. This is Shirley. If that don't sound like a church mother to in church I mean it's just totally a thing so like listen. I just love it and that would mean my if I had to make another list that would on the top five songs okay. I'm ready your next five. No it's your it's your turn. I it's my turn Yup. I said No. It's your turn to come up with a category. Oh yeah that's what I meant. Oh Yeah I'm ready to give you your Oh. Yes yes okay okay gadgets. What are your top five favorites things about being a black girl? That's good. That's good well. I naturally no flavor very well. Yeah I appreciate I been gifted. I've been gift capacity to season my food. That's it with a with a very I've been I've been gifted gifted with taste buds that can handle spice and flavor and I know what things are missing and what you know what needs to be added. It's just it's a wonderful thing about being a black girl and I greatly appreciate you. I I grew up in a home where seasoned food was priority. I realized later in life that that was not a thing for everyone. That's something that I took for granted. I've taken for granted for most of my life not not anymore. No never I and I fully acknowledge fully acknowledged that that's a blessing but I'm interrupting you. Please continue everything five favorite things about being a black girl I also appreciate that I have the the protection of my ancestors because because I have real ancestors who are not here for you all's bullshit and they are looking after me and I agree appreciate gate. It and I really like those are my ancestors Swan. Absolutely let's see oh other fake top five favorite things about being a black girl you know I still get carded Yeah I. I got carded olive garden last week I mean that may have thought that I was under twenty. One and I say going to show you my identification and then I'm GonNa Shake your answer. They Gilroy the joy that I get like like from being carded and I just everybody at the table fell out laughing everybody he's like. Can I see your I._D.. And I was like yes. I was like you absolutely can see he my I._D.. You want to see it right now. You can see it twice. How long you want to look at it? Yes Sir just take a just just take a look at Santa Book this is you and you just gave me my reading rainbow like right now. Now you can so happy by taking this car. Let's see what else is one of my favorite things about being a black girl being around other black girls I love the diaspora of us. I love how we come in so many different and shapes and sizes and colors and personalities and strengths in how you know we can lean on one another and we help to complete one another and we teach one another and we learn from. I'm one another and we just there's just a community. There that I feel like is unmatched in that's one of my very favorite things about being a black girl <hes> a black woman and then <hes> another favorite thing is being a black woman to raising a black girl. That's one of my favorite things because all of the that's not one of my favorite things all of the sauce that we embody. Body all of the traditions that you know were taught by you know our older ones <hes> just all of the natural magic that we have in all its capacities our intelligence our wits our our rhythm our sauce our flavor like all of those things I love the fact that I'm going to get to exhibit that to my daughter impasse that down to her and make her proud to be a black girl absolutely so those are I think so. Let's just say it was. I think it was five. Okay <hes> I I love the fact that I have such a rich heritage of black women to look up to aspire to be like <hes> there's just so much dope miss about being a black woman and I have so many models of wet uh-huh of how of how to be myself in be amazing <hes> you know and I think that's one of my favorite things. I think that we have a lot of different <hes> healthy people weekend look to for inspiration. <hes> I love bad <hes> black women have this kind of natural innate capacity to encourage one another is like secret code language. We've talked about on the show before we just have a way of <hes> doing it and where we choose to do it. It is so powerful and so beautiful the way that literally walking down the street. <hes> you know going into the mall or anywhere else. If you see a black woman you complementary you mean it you can you can really see how how it's done something for her. <hes> and we have an ability to make anybody feel good about anything. Okay I feel like you we okay you doing which your Blue Card on which is <hes> so I love that <hes> and I think that I love the fact that <hes> we have always been trendsetters and <hes> innovators especially when it comes to like beauty <music> I think we've been able to we've just created so much and we set standards that other people what would you say that the industries and others have aspired to be like us. Yes they have absolutely until into right into that effect. This is a shot off to Fran because I wore some shorts. The other day and I've made a boomy and France was like says let's celebrate your thighs and I was like on my guys says toy ahead to make me wear these shorts because I was so I feel like my thighs an hour. I WanNa be I WANNA be a little slim blah blah a- and she was just like let me stop you right there and she says something that I was just like this speaks to my previous point about how we have the ability to support one another <hes> and affirm one another in ways that nobody else could I was like I want you to know girl that they are women who are risking life and limb. People are dying on surgery tables in in Dominican Republic Rana. Get Bass like me and my size have arrived live so if I grow we waste so much time worried about things like like you know failure light and and you know we were. She said you're Jim when you can't be. You're working out you you doing what you're living your life. Put your show on. You know what I'm saying. Live on also no absolutely yes absolutely so what that was. The point that I was trying to make is that I feel like black women. I shaped beautifully and our bodies are something that that literally people are are out here spending thousands of dollars to attain and we just wake up like this most of the time it <hes> and I just I have appreciate <hes> I don't know I just appreciate the the brilliant spec comes with being a black black women and when I mean brilliant I mean both in like the way that we look in the way that we how we show up in spaces but also with the wisdom that we carry in our mouths and and the way that we formulate our words and the way way that we do the work that we do in the way that we are the sauce right so like people try to my leak in others had posted a me more in instagram couple of weeks ago that was like since you can copy what I do and that's fine but you'll never have what I have because I am the sauce. I'm the sauce. I'm and that's why I don't even have no problem giving you the Formula I can tell you how we do this because I'm not worried because I am the sauce and you can't have the sauce I'm me at bring meets at his work and that's the part of this work that people love and I think black women have the capacity to just kinda be in a space and do what we do but we do it in such a way that you know people be out here trying to figure out how to do it and they just can't it is funny you saw seeing because that's literally what we tell Noah like verbatim when she you know sometimes she'll pull up youtube videos with others in their weird videos where she's watching like descendants since characters battle rap and things like that but you know we really try to push encourage her and it's not to say that you know you can't appreciate or watch anybody of another race ethnicity or culture but we're like we want her to be proud to be a black girl and we always tell her we. We want you to realize that you got the sauce like you got it. You got what other people want like. Embrace your sauce. You have natural sauce and it's not even just because you can dance or whatever it's the light. It's the electricity that comes from you. It's who you are as a person. It's all the things that make you magical you already have that they ain't got that you got that so true you know and this is also not only you know and don't be coming talking about all well. You know this is a celebrating ourselves as black women because as important and this is a space where we celebrate ourselves as black women. It's not to tear anybody anybody else down so we're not speaking down anybody else but we are going to build ourselves up in this space on this platform so I just want that to be clear. You know it's not to say that nobody else you know has any magic about themselves selves but this is a platform where we get to celebrate us in. That's what we're GONNA do. You're welcome to join in as well but we're going to continue to celebrate us here and I think that's what we can end. The kitchen table talk now four flats. That was the best top five I've ever been asked. Let's move onto dishonesty backs winter start. A family is a completely personal decision. Some women want kids. Now Others WanNa wait ten years. No matter what your plan consider taking an at home hormone fertility tests from modern fertility modern fertility gives you the knowledge and information you need to plan ahead all for just one hundred written fifty nine dollars. The same test cost over a thousand dollars at a doctor's office and you can use an F._S._i.. Or H._S._A.. Plus modern fertility ships your kid to your home in and gives you and your physician reviewed results in just a few days. All tests are conducted in Cli certified lab and modern fertility team of physicians in clinical advisers lead some of the nation's top fertility clinics so I'm really excited about modern fertility actually <hes> I know that we are continuing to plan for our family. Don't ask me no questions in so I definitely plan on ordering a kit <hes> so that I can you know make sure everything is is ready. When I'm ready visit modern fertility dot com slash grown take their fertility quiz and get twenty dollars off your modern fertility tests? That's modern fertility dot com slash grown to take the fertility quiz and get twenty dollars off modern fertility dot com mm slash grown honestly truly all right. Let's get into this honesty box. It says dear Jaden Kia praise the Lord Nicholls. Let me start off by saying I love this podcast and Y'all doing Dang thing. Thank you thank you so much anyway. This is a lot so bear with me. My fiance and I are getting married next year. He's lived with his parents all his life except for college problem one. Since our engagement I got a new amazing job which allowed me to move to where he lives so that we would no longer be long distance. I'm living with him and his parents to save money for the wedding and a house problem too but rent is just too high and they insisted that I stay with them to save. My fiance has gotten a new job with the higher salary. He also has a second part time job but he isn't good with saving money. I'm the only one saving for our wedding in house because he's helping his parents pay bills paying off student loans and a car note. I've tried to get him to save save a little but I'm not getting through to him. I think I bruise his pride when I try to talk it out. This parents aren't helping because his mom is overbearing and isn't ready to let go often ask for money. I just don't know how he's going to transition from living with his parents all his life I have to just me and how his mother will let go. I love this man and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I'm going crazy best. Let's give her a pseudonym Jocelyn Jocelyn. What whatever she got for Jocelyn says <hes> I do? We know how they know. She didn't say so the thing is I'm. I'm having some feelings about this because <hes> ad I'm not mad at the fact that <hes> this man is saving this man is is is you know paying down debt and paying <hes> <hes> I would say like this. I would feel different if you told me that he was spending his money on weed and check out sticks but you say you said that he got a he got a new job with a higher high salary and he has a part time job and he spent his money paying down student loan debt pay other bills and giving his mother money and I'm not bothered by that since both you and his mother both both you and him are living with his fan writes <hes> I understand that you feel like he should be saving for your wedding in certain ways but I don't feel like him paying down debt and paying these he's financial obligations is him squandering money. I think if he's too too I'm I'm not I'm not I don't know is it just. I don't know if it's just me or not. The participants very I think whatever age did you guys are is GonNa is GonNa is is going to be a factor. I hate that I don't know that because I mean I feel like I would feel different about this if you were forty but y'all if y'all twenty twenty four four twenty five twenty six. I don't know if I'm as authored by this. I don't I'm not alarmed by the fact that he is is paying his bills uh-huh like did I did. I hear wrong. She said that he she's concerned that he's never lived outside of his parents home. I think that's a valid concern but is it. I mean that I don't so this is where I got a little confused because she said you got a new job with a higher salary and he also has the second part time job but he isn't good with saving money <hes> and then she said but that's where that's where that's where it's like well okay so listen. Let me put things in perspective. Uh I don't know if you're also paying living expenses there but if you're not then that's kind of taking care of the both of you in that area I so if you know I understand what you want him to be doing doing but that's that's kind of a necessity and if him helping to pay some of those bills is not at the same level of you are being an apartment and paying full bills on your own then you know it's kind of you know that's kind of a of a bit of a blessing also what I would say is and this is just speaking to you very candidly in but with love you can't come to the table with a problem. If you don't have a solution for it so oh you know you're understand probably having a moment. I don't know if you're having a moment of frustration because I do understand that living in his parents house probably comes with its own set of challenges. You said he hasn't overbearing mother so. So much of their income with a set of challenges so that's not to negate your feelings at all absolutely you have every right to to have those moments and I know in those type of living situation. Sometimes there are higher moments of frustration than others. I get that you know but if you don't have a solution for for you guys right now as far as you're living conditions are concerned then you kinda have to eat this one for a while until it gets to a point where it's like all right this is too much and if you have to bear the brunt of saving for you ause wedding while he bears the brunt of like taking care of you guys current living situation than you know a partnership wt give and take you know what I'm saying like might be the compromise and sometimes you know like you may have somebody who's like I pay the rent in this house but then you have the other person who pays all the utilities in the car note in insurance so it's like e- everybody buddy plays their role and plays their part and sometimes you know we have to put more into an area than another person and we have to be understanding about that given whatever your circumstances are absolutely I think I think you raise great points. If this is something <hes> that is really bothering you I think one of the ways that you might be able to go to the table and poses solution is to have the conversation status or something. That's bothering me. I would like for us to be on the same page about saving for this wedding less <hes> less get clear about where we are with. If is something that you want to do. Is there a timeframe that you wanna work within. Is there a way that we can do this in a way that <hes> acknowledges the way that you contributed in the way that I'm contributed in my be worthwhile to sit down and have a conversation and time is going to be a critical factor here. So if you guys are thinking about getting married and starting a family you you know that could be you know especially again. Depending on how old you guys are it could he. He might be ready and he not might know that you <hes> is it's you are ultimate who he wants to be with but he may want sometimes it Kinda get his finance finances financing get his life together if he has opportunity to save money his parents home <hes> that's what he's doing but it is okay for you to be like okay. Can I have a date. Can I have some sort of indication as to how long we're going to be doing this. Is there a plan in place to get US Outta here. Like what are are you thinking. I think it just you might feel better if you go to him <hes> and just asked to have a conversation in and get some more clarity around <hes> your current situation and how long you plan on being a and he plans on being any seeing if there's any dissonance or disconnect around your your opinions I mean you know that'd be a good opportunity for you to talk about the ways in which you know <hes> Yakking navigate this theory you're you're like around especially negotiating you know his mom's <hes> involvement and how you guys engaged with him and his parents like it. Just it sounds like you might just need to have some some compensation <hes> express what you want <hes> and and what questions you have and just try to get on the same page that way but I I am not honestly if I knew then what I know now now I would have probably stayed in my mom's house or I would have used the time that I had in my mom's house more wisely than I did so I think this even though it is uncomfortable and it's not ideal there is some value in having that cushion if the great opportunity for you to kind of put a plan in place and say okay. I don't WanNa be in this situation for too much longer but while I'm here I've said these goals to get this. He's accomplished so that when I leave I don't I can leave with something <hes> Yep so Jocelyn v I do hope that this is helpful to you and I wish you all the Best I say that you go ahead and get bay <hes> Y'all GonNa read Lhasa and have a discussion over some Cheddar Bay biscuits insane. You know what I'm saying is someone to stand in around here. Let's get someone to stand in. Yes sing escape to him but <music> but <hes> hopefully this was helpful. We hope this was helpful in you got here just have some communication communication set some boundaries and feel free to express yourself but also make sure that you're going like make sure you have your your <unk> together. When you go have your conversation together? Have Your your solutions along with you know whatever your issues are so that you guys can figure into figuring it out and you come to some sort of common ground if you just come like this. This is my great then you don't have anything to offer on how to fix it. You know then there's the new guys can't there won't be any middle ground there so hopefully that's helpful. I hope that's helpful to me too same schedule. Your feelings are totally early valid. We want you to know that so absolutely oh consent to continue to send your honesty box questions to get in grown podcasts at gmail.com. Let's move onto these petty peeves though and I want to be very responsible of the things I say due to my sister because everybody would be petty p. e. to the T. t. y.. All right it's time for the pet peeves and <hes> pity this week is I'm probably Kinda petty and it's I don't know if it's what New York related or whatever cities you may commonly take cabs in but for the actual cab drivers. I don't WanNa hear your conversation on the phone with your family member the entire time we are writing about the baby showers in all of the plans. I understand that you're in the vehicle the majority of your day but I have friends who drive caps and you know what happens if we are on the phone and they get a phone call they say let me call you back. After this arrive I had one time I had my homeboy hit me and he was asking asking me some relationship stuff advice and whatnot and <hes> he went picked up this dude and he was like he you know we were deep in the middle of the conversation and he was like <hes> do do you mind cause the do have is headphones on he said do you mind if I take this phone. Call continue to take this phone call or do you prefer that I hang up in the dude was like Nah. I'm about to keep my headphones on listening to my music. Do your thing but era appreciated the fact listening from the other end that he asked his customer what they wanted whereas today I was riding in a cab uptown in this nigger talked to his relatives the entire and it wasn't even just that it was that he spoke loudly in a lot so you know even when I was on the phone my homeboy he would ask me some questions and then I would talk to them for a bit and he was like listening he you know he would engage and whatnot a little little bit but it was like all right. I'm like I'm calling to ask you. Since I want you to take over this conversation you know but God damn just have some courtesy. Nobody wants to hear you Ramon and all of them have your conversations about you know your sister's cousin's baby shower this weekend and who's GonNa make the Potato Salad. That's right ha sixty three dollars. Please anyway worship any be this week so as you all know I'm out here his retreat center <hes> and staff here <hes> you know colorful bunch <hes> there's a particular woman who runs the kitchen <hes> home in the evening so she runs the dinner shape and I noticed that this woman is really just insufferable. She's miserable my she is she is she is just filled with angst ext and I just my pet peeve is if you work in service and you work at a place and that is that serves serve you know certain populations so in addition to us being here their summer camps that utilize the same property so their children young people <hes> come in and out the kitchen and if I come to you and ask you a question. That's not unreasonable like I'm asking you question I guess dinnertime and you in the kitchen you prepare dinner. I'm asking you a question about dinner like I don't need to be met with all of this heat ray so <hes> pretty much I I just I just I don't understand you know I just this particular woman. The kind of person that treats you horribly horribly until she finds out who you are on. I don't like that my co worker you know she we were in the way we manage a reception for our attendees that happens after hours requires us to get ice from the kitchen kitchen so that the beverages will be cold so you know when you're on duty in the evening party or responsibilities is to get the ice from the kitchen photo reception so we go in there to get the reset. The ice we turn around the lady turns around and sees us has and she's like what do you want and I'm looking at her like she got moorehead's because I'm like I'm I know you are. I'm trying to figure out who you talking to so my coworker goes and introduces herself and says who she is and in our whole you know affect changes and we later found out that she thought that myself and my other co worker were kids or young people had to camp and she thought that the person who introduce themselves was like our counselor counselor some whatever so long story less long if like this first of all no like you work in the service industry you either chef on-duty and people are GonNa have questions for the kitchen. People are going to need things from out of the kitchen. We're supposed to be asking you things and it shouldn't. We shouldn't have to give you rank. We shouldn't have to identify ourselves as adults or Oh professionals for you to treat people will common courtesy because if I'm if I'm a parent I'm sending my child up here. I'm not sitting here for you to yell at them. I'm sending my child appear for you to feed them so <hes> I I can't ah my my I got her together. She wanted to be all pleasant and I'm like not keep that same energy you had. You asked me what I want. I shouldn't have to you know disarm you with my credentials. You should be pleasant and courteous to everybody that you meet especially when you work in a service industry and that's just that's just all I got to say about that. It's really it's just I'm uncomfortable with people who see me in my black skin and assume that I I want trouble. I shouldn't have to tell you that my name is Dr Robinson for you to try now for lighting nights to me. That's not okay but that's it. That's not why we worked so hard for this. I and I just think that that's terrible. That's absolutely terrible because regardless if you whether or not I'm I'm Dr Robinson or Kia or Kia's neath. Your job is to treat me like with respect because I didn't come in here yelling screaming at you. All I did was stay. I came to the kitchen to get my needs met like that's what I need. I need ice. You got the eighth eighth is nowhere else you got. I you know I'm coming. So why are you hollering I fully I fully agree with this message. You know what I'm saying why have yielded people it's usually because they deserve it but yeah yeah I think that's very valid and that is another episode of Getting Grown Charleroi Ladies and gentlemen and those in the Non Binary for listening we sincerely appreciate your consistent support of the show <hes> continue to send all of your shoutouts and honesty box questions and all of that to gain grown podcast gmail.com and it's hot outside but regardless SIS. Tell them what they need to do. Don't forget it to mind your business. Moisture is your skin and your edges especially in the sweltering weather and always hydrate and drink your water wireless because does your heels will crack if they're dry. That's right and you're able to buy yes. They will buy Oh. I can't get off my horse and I can't Geico who you are the one to make me feel so real ooh mass supposed to do when I look so and then realize show somebody somebody else's guy say it's like it's like the most churches song about Shit History of ocean was that on the soundtrack to <hes> woman thou art loose.