Sibling Rivalry Podcast: Episode 03


We back we black sibling rivalry podcast gets my nurse. There's been a few weeks. Charlemagne god on angela for twenty seven hours. I don't know i didn't sleep last night because i was coming from the west coast this weekend so invite my ugly aspect of beauty. I had no idea because you got you know how to skin bleach so they want to know how to use that tore. Was it call you know what you got. Your eyebrows microbe-related. Mike related to wear eyeliner. No you have mascara and you were skin bleaching. This is all dr tosh sanity and matala just black woman and and you also wear <hes> you do contour nope yeah and there's bronze right here. No respect it up if i were to be fifty product alex. Oh yes that is a good word with andy. I liked especially the highlights really yeah. I like i don't. I don't wear makeup normally bid if i get my makeup done it. Oh that's a pretty baby pretty baby is it what what what was your beauty. Call my shoes off in here on slide. What was your because that's all you with the home care soon and mainly. I thought it was such a wonderful event because <hes> our conversation because we talked about two black women in <unk> business who really figured it out on their own. I'm not saying that they haven't had good mentors and folks. They worked with along the way they acknowledged that as well <hes> but really figuring out how to make it with their own blueprint <hes> and two women who supported each other along the way as friends friends in never stood in each other's way never saw it as a competition always figure out a way to lift each other up and it was just beautiful <hes> the fact that when they met met each other wasn't a love hate relationship it was like it's friendship or <hes> which was really cool and so is a conversation on legacy on friendship on sisterhood on how dope black doc women entrepreneurs are since we're the fastest growing group entrepreneurs in this country and i got to sit with two of them who are doing really great. Thanks longer than me younger than me and killing it. It's amazing you do stuff like that because people get to see you in another light outside of just screaming at white men on really don't like screaming at white men on c._n._n. Or anywhere else that's taxing. Gotta be right. Yes i would rather like talk about happy steph or i mean and i don't wanna do it to the point. We're like i'm making people feel like there's a real ish going on but like it drains me. I'm worried about 'cause i. I was talking to <hes>. I take my tears on a gangsta lean might be broke actually tanks before we great for a mediocre talking on appreciated gene and viral illness adele following the hell out of although i almost thought the chairman i sat down talking to here in minnesota at me. I'm self deprecating. It's fine down and i was like this. I was like now died right here. Do you think that i was talking to on the president's houston while we can't lose our joy hanging to summon ianna progress woman ran against an incumbent of several years with the strength of the people right and is the first black woman black person who's ever to represent a massachusetts congress in boston is racist. L. south is not just the south broke. If a guy they say magazine boston shit mega. That's not really it's not really hit him with my car israel but the rest of the about it's not it's fake news okay. Were you saying we should have joy. We gotta remember to have joy and i agree with that but it's really hard joy right now and i doubt across the board like when you see her rasheeda and ilhan and alexandria <hes> who they call the squad in congress now i get joy because i know that they're fearless advocates for i don't agree with every single thing that all of them do i on for the most part yes but not really ilhan to alexandria got got some questions about why she wants to run and get some of our black incumbents <hes> but i think like the fact that they are fearless. We'll take things on even when like you know fox in all these other news outlets tried to make fun of them are de legitimize what they're saying and they're still there. That gives me a lot of <hes> <hes>. I'm encouraged by that the joy to see that but like you're not cowardly no but like to know that there were kids who started their first day of school when they were separated from their families. That doesn't give me joy. The fact that i'm having to litigate whether or not donald trump is racist or he's implementing a white supremacist not really not a point like don't ask me that and that's the you can tell right now. It makes me mad because i feel like it's a form of gasoline bridge another question at this point not only that it's like. There's nothing to question mike from before he was in the white house. It was a thing so why is it not a thing now is actually path. Racism is actually to me. I just think it's fast. It's the fastest ajay's been saying that i don't i disagree. I did hear that white dude fascist thing on my on my page on it was like a checklist how you know it's faster than i posted on. There and people were like super responsive like yes definitely been this guy scary mucci. What was the guy who used to be his man. They called the <music> suits was his name is a scary scary. Mucci is not scary scary. Mosul karim's family members scary mucci. You know what's so crazy to me. <hes> we had a panel this morning on c._n._n. I don't know when this podcast in a drought but with training is today tuesday okay so we we did our panel is me april ryan bakari sellers andrew gillum and we were talking about <hes> scary moocher and the thing that's so crazy to me with you saying that you know with all the puns attached is it's kind of legitimate my whole issue with him is like people want to apply and like patty cake him for his courage courage right now. He was in the trump administration for under two weeks. He's coming out saying the things that we've all been saying since before. He was elected really since used to say crazy ish about barack obama trying to discuss for jesus and what is so crazy to me is like people want to applaud that he's not doing anything courageous. He's not going in and challenging them on instead of arresting or taking detaining the the parents and the laborers at these chicken plants. They're not arresting the owners owners and operators of the plant. That's how raids used to work. You're not doing courageous are really not doing a courageous trying to get a book deal. You'd think so yes. What is he doing this for. I don't know if i could stand behind trouble. Everybody's like who gives a damn or you matt. Let's see how many followers do like the fact that he said trump should be replaced played the top of the g._o._p. Tickets that's not gonna happen and i don't even think scare mucci. Is that his own. He made a point. I don't even think he was he was a republican before he worked for trump trump when i think people are mad about that at the beginning what the fuck is. He looked like he should've been happy. What are you talking about. Here is eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars. That's a lot it would ever do what he said. When someone is dividing the country was racist rhetoric. He's still not calling him racist by the way seeing racist rhetoric and that's like the thing that some white people do so they don't have to call it racism and giving people a licensed to hate. You have to call it out congratulations to called it out several years later so that's the point i i was. I was getting that on anderson cooper last night. He said something that i thought was interesting. He said that <hes> he definitely thinks trump uses a lot of races rhetoric but he said he thinks trump doesn't just to rile up a certain base but he said he doesn't feel like trump is anything he said. He said he thinks trump looks at people live q. Literally she listened to the last part of my podcasts and unprecedented did unprecedented because that's what trump tweeted. I'm president argument on impeachment because there is a record of racism that he stood on on since before he was elected. I'm talking about early eighties. You know he likes to show these pictures of him and reverend out under my reverend our him wherever jackson under my reverend jackson and my thing is like regardless of who standing with you there may be heroes to me or people who are count as mentors or people look to respect. I don't care you're still racist. Bigot dan take out three or four pages for san francisco barbara. He got sued by department just not once but twice had to settle with regardless of what rate says regardless of what you think you are your actions show which raises he's a racist but i do agree with larry lincoln at what i'm trying to ask you what i was looking at. Why did i pick this up. How many miles it also gonna look up. Wha- what was he before he was. I think he was. I do agree which scary mucci that donald trump does not give a fuck about anybody on he give a fuck about poor white people that he'd be loving and caring team the white supremacists on he cared about the nationalist on weekends black people brown people. I don't think donald trump about anything but he can not care about anybody. The instill be a racist bigot. That's all i'm saying. I know what i mean. There's about anybody either can't really be mad at a person whose hands in that little because god made his hand little because he about look big. My hands are these big because i am able to have a lot in these hands. I can hold a lot in these hand. Trump can't hold anything in those little hands. So how do you expect effectively be a loving caring person who actually cares about the wellbeing of others with ham so small. Can you please somebody. Is there a buzzer that i can push. You should bring one yeah so that when you use somebody needs to get you. I don't have any proof that he was a democrat but i think the disclaimer for this particular. I guess i've been up for how many hours yeah so maybe i might be wrong than norma how wrong sometimes <hes> lose supposed to start somewhere positive positive. We don't have served. We can get back to joy joy. Joy reid read actual joy like black boy. Joy joy is black. We have fire. We gotta stay in a joys perspective but that awesome black iron that i laugh at you all the time i earned that laugh at something black people who have been doing since the beginning of time probably gonna fuck the most heinous circumstances. We've always he's laughed. We've always saying bryan joy. That's it but i just i guess all i'm saying is i. It's getting eating harder. You enable ryan having a good old time today. We were having a fight. No no no not then you didn't watch the panel on the panel we had we we had a little battle about <hes> scare scary moocher and whether or not like what he did was good enough <hes> and she compared him and nikki haley to her and i thought i'm sorry like you're the people sham they're not. They don't get applause because nikki haley tweeted. This is too far. I don't know if i grew date will. I'm sure you don't because you like to fight for fighting sake no. I'm just saying like i can't. I can't knock somebody whenever they come around like everybody wigs. I'm knockin doc in bulldozing kicking. You don't get to come and then it's not really a true come around. He's not really willing to say he's racist. She's not willing to say like she had a comment comment on his post of our elijah cummings congressman cummings who is like man not just like a hero to me like when i tell you like if there was embodiment went of christ likeness on earth it is mr coming. He is such a good human being and to watch him be verbally assaulted in harass grass in the way that donald trump has done and then encourage his imson followers to do the same. It's been so destructive to watch especially knowing that like you know mister cummings things is he's had a challenging last year so when people hear you say that and be like okay so why is the whole totality of baltimore not reflecting this christ leg individual because first of all all of what's going on in baltimore does not lay at the feet of congressman cummings like if we're if we're willing to put all of that responsibility on mister cummings than we have to put all the responsibility onto billions on the house and all the responsibility on the senate. I'm not willing to say that every city that has a bad area or areas that are struggling is at is belongs at the feet feet of the black for the one black elected official. That's serves their number. That's been regulated to the city even earmarked to the city or designated anymore no yeah. I don't know what you just said. You don't get regulated money to the city. I don't know what you mean. Golden the federal government gives money to the city of baltimore. I mean the federal government. Can oh give resources to different areas but a lot of times there are resources that that are designated to specific things and i think what we really have to look at is why in in every urban community is it is it in a situation whereas dilapidated piss poor not up to par until folks ready to gentrify it that is a <hes> a a symptom of racism and systemic oppression more than it is a black politician or the democrats. They like to demonize democrats not doing their part. There are more poor dilapidated trash areas in republican districts all throughout the south those same same piss poor white people who think trump's gonna change their life. I don't mean his talking like piss poor like they're very very out. I guess so poor but for whatever reason they i believe donald trump is going to come save them. No i agreed at my only point is like it's not just up to this one elected official. It is about people working together. Took create opportunity in these spaces even like the stuff you were working on with opportunities. If we're not careful those are gonna be vacations. Already district cases yeah. So what i'm saying is people who have the money to come in saying it so happens is we're mad at the victim for not having the resources. This is the tools the capacity the you know the spiritual know how the wherewithal to pull themselves up by bootstraps to don't exist because they don't have boots and the truth truth to the matter is it's always the goddamn white man's fault as much as you may not want to admit it all of this system oppression mars do this today last completely dragged when i don't disagree with you necessarily the only thing that i will say. I don't think that i will say like it's not every single single. White person is the function of of america how we were brought here from atlanta and brought here the intention so whether we're talking about the the institution of slavery or we're talking about the institution of jim crow or we're talking about racially restrictive covenants in housing or we're talking about mass incarceration or the war on drugs or the combination. They're all of those things come from a system that always wanted to treat us as free labor not fully human. I get that and what i don't understand is how the breakdown happens. Logically people's minds when it's like okay all of that is true true until it comes to a black area has a black elected official. Come on i'm also not willing to let every elected official off the hook. I'm not because there are some instances where there are people who could finally see it as an opportunity where they made it and they've never had a six figure job in their life right and and they get they get bribed or you know taking advantage of for for coke. We've seen in some places or you know for some low level. Check you know and that's not cool either but that's also a function of systemic oppression. Why would why are why would why would we be so easily by what happened. It happened on the continent to agree with you. People easily distracted <hes> and i know it's been a while since that allows your company's donald trump thing happened but has it been ella. Is he like michigan michigan by doing crazy every day because he's smart no. He's crazy smart. He knows how to manipulate the media. Now allows cummings was calling him out about the kids yeah but that's not all he was doing you know that he has the oversight and government reform committee oversees the entire federal government and so they have have subpoena power into every federal agency and once the <hes> the muller report was over it really turned to the house of representatives like okay now how you can really focus on what the report says and go forth your investigation on tax returns on this on that and he i think he really got scared so the kids was one thing but i think he it was like all right well. That's awful. Do you gotta learn to stay on message. If that is what allows eight i'm no you did not everybody pivoted immediately from the kids in the cage and everything else to go baltimore mr recipes from their committee. The committee's not distracted is the problem you got to keep the court of public opinion on message because motherfuckers is so so simple love. It and that's what donald trump does so well. He's always able to move. The goalpost may reason that they can impeach. Donald trump is because quarterback opinion out of the race l. about they wanted me to go up there and do that whole sign. Dance view is any real favors. We're not doing ourselves any room and i think that that i think the issue is when you are people who <hes> your economic power is an intact. Your political power isn't intact your spiritual power. Emotional power isn't even intact the first line is respect and so when you're talking about what he said about mister cummings or what he said about congresswoman waters or what he said about andrew when he was running. You're talking about communities where people came out of those spaces at all you have. Is your family your self respecting that love you gonna go for it. We never we're getting there from these these these white people no. I'm saying like they're going to protect that. It's like at least you're not gonna take this for me. They don't respect you any understanding what take comment though and i'm not gonna say anything to you could say your up monday. You know what i'm saying like morgan against state university is in the bottom but i would have said to you the president help since thoroughly mr coming said respond to you say that you go back to what your you may not check his press releases. That's exactly what we're doing then they sent somebody and then they sent somebody in his house to break into. I don't know maybe they might have been funny. I think i you take out the setup. What let me show you his wife's facebook page. This man the man that broke into convenient no the man that broke into mister cummings house parked his bike inside the foyer of the house you mean i'm not to say these pictures. I can't see his face and it has some symbol on the head. It's weird. It's not like a sports. Teams hat a wondered about that. I wonder what the conspiracy theories but we don't be conspiracy theories for no reason we we conspiracy facts subordinates just because actual actual conspiracies have happened to us in our lives. That's what i'm telling. You like. This wasn't oh game. This dude is scared of mister cummings. He's scared of congresswoman waters. He's scared of of the judiciary committee and jerry nadler. He's scared of these folks this hour's boy. You ain't no good to twenty seven dollars. You can't even put up a facebook page. I wasn't logged into it doesn't matter about the russian stuff. You don't know how to let them by. All these ads targeted black people. Have you seen the great read heck here. Go right here. Look this. No heroes want to see that. We were talking about this. That's the dues had look at that breaking ladies walk in he's walking and look how he got his bike. Rider chiller. Okay popping william meek mill carefully his with his take. Mr started screaming when he saw the man on the camera now comey. Was there and his wife were there. What are we saw screaming for grad a gun because he does a shooting star screaming symbol on his hat though ordeal so what did he just broken. I can't even tell what color us exactly. I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm honest with aggression might be the same people will take jesse. Excuse me i'm not doing this this. I'm not listen apologize apologize for the people that attacked us. He's got accused for him. Beautiful nigeria is not this is not fake they have this on camera and it's fake on a lousy coming for the catching catching found him really this is what i'm trying to tell you these easy to blend in baltimore automo- bike though he's a black to black yeah. I wonder how he got in the house. He picked the lock. I'm not sure i don't know all those. That's weird weird to me but it's description. Mortar story is listening and i sat there happened to mr comey's coal cool but we gotta stay focused on the message what was mister cummings original message and what made donald trump pivot or the original message from mr convicts it was about the children child separations operations and how this is not normal folk you gotta we we have to stay focused. I can take you to the oversight and government reform page. They've not deterred from them and here's the thing i i agree with you. One hundred percent but average person the average american does not read that kind of shit but that's not mister cummings is not but mister cummings and everybody else in those those positions have to learn how to communicate and send out messaging heater louganis page news. The last press release that went out here was on august ninth and it was a joint a press release from chairman cummings thomson and raskin request information on immigration enforcement actions in mississippi august ninth. You politics is his date the better the bottom line is like this is just to show you they wrote a letter requesting information on the is not going to be received by people. You know why you are such a good communicator gator. He was received by people. Did you know coke foods plant. A coke food flint coke brothers foods. What would the coke for. What are you talking about. Is this to cold weather's. What are you talking about. Rates happen at a coke food's place. What are you talking about raising talking about the ice rates in mississippi food plant. They can plant oh awhile. I'm out to look because if that's if that's why i told you that back in the day when they did these raids it was the owners that got ariffin hot. Oh it's not affiliated with cobra how convenient but anyway the <music> owners were targeted. It was the workers. That's what's wrong with this. So what was the owners got fined thought is was all about rounding up illegal immigrants that is how this president has made their work. It has happened before but he used to be focused on people who are at least engaged in criminal activity now they're just targeting like whatever we can do two separate kids from their parents to make life miserable for immigrants. We're going to do that now. They're targeting people who are have legal status lettuce but they have used food stamps or they use wick and now it's like oh because you've done this. We're not going to give you permanent status. Are they trying to offer him to come to this country. They don't want them to feel like this is the american dream and it's not win ever been the american saying think about some of these people who oh come from these countries. They're running. They're running from things right so they think this is the american dream. Donald trump is trying to make its way. It's their american nightmare today like you know what i'm gonna. Stay where i'm at could at least stay while i won't be separated from my family. I really think it was going on that is what's going on but the other thing that's bad about it is. He has a preference for rich people coming here so he's go with rich. That's why america is gonna look like back to the future to win. Both biff had the sports almanac and biff area of town was beautiful and everything else was fucked up. That's how america's gonna look very very very soon. In the next six or seven i would ridicule you in the past for these analogies what i think you're probably right if that if we allow this to continue to happen and that's the other thing. What do you think we have to do to get people to understand what their real power is. We have to push push. The house and we you have to push is crunchy like christmas trees. Did you hear that attract dry. Shit have tracking ear assign. This is not a tram. Stop trying to make fake baby news by using jared baby here this no. I didn't even slick this down johnny needed. Why are you so much joe because it needed to stay in place for my point out for <hes> didi conn and then i haven't take chain sunday is on tuesday so i lost my. This is really something about joe. It wasn't about joe what the fuck was my pleasure move. I maybe we need. Maybe it'll come back was to devote myself. No less. I want to know what's the last thing that was super good. I know what you said it as you said. What do we have to do. That was a good question who engaged in so that they don't. They know their real power like they know that we can change this. We don't have to accept that number. One first of all democrats have to realize that the language of politics today. Why does it have to be a democrat republican. They figured it out. Donald trump is talking to these people who in a nice simple way in people buying into nice. It's just simply simple. Democrats have to learn how to talk simple democrats straight with people that are not being honest about about <hes> our mother fucking democracy because democracy is ice. I see it is date until they figure out well. Let let me ask you this russian interference. So did you ever think it was a life. I'm not really for marginalized people who really really for women that really for spanish people but that's why america they're gonna be a afraid because you've got these white people who is always worked for. It's gonna be baffoni. Twenty twenty like i go out and vote for some liberal in you know that vote doesn't count it gets depressed as a descendant. The head of the senate intel committee who who stepped down. I can remember the name of the band coach now. Dan now nasty committee the intel <hes> <hes> no. It's not the committee. You're talking about the c._i._a. Did i wanted to see the sorry go erector national intelligent. He stepped down. He said that russians have the ability to change votes. Lobby know that happened and why aren't people making more noise about that. Why are you lying to people telling them. Go vote in twenty twenty but you know our lexicon understand is the director of national intelligence that is very different from the house or the senate senate intel committees director of national intelligence yes but why are we making this more of a big deal. Why are we letting in horry saying the just the democrats but i think of power like they're saying this. Here's one thing that i think is is kind of not fair to them. There was a bill that <hes> it was the first bill introduced when congress came back and democrats took over it was h._r. One it was <hes>. I think it's for the people act the for the people act. I'm just double checking the for the people for the people active twenty nine thousand nine hundred h._r. One isn't election security bill. The democrats kratz pass this bill in march <hes> two hundred and thirty four two hundred ninety three votes in the senate has yet to take that bill up along with any the other election security measure the person standing away of considering those bills yes which may call in moscow mitch now they should because after robert muller said i would say we're not making a big enough deal. I don't think that's fair and i'll tell you whether or not i agree with you that they're not being super courageous or telling it exactly like it is but they have definitely introduced bills and at least pass some bills on the house side mitch mcconnell could easily take robert muller says russian interference in the director of national intelligence says russian interference in their mitch mcconnell jumps out there and blackston electric security after getting all this information that not a red flag. The plant that i that i think is important. <hes> <hes> is that i don't like that. This is not being talked about as honestly as it shows all. I'm saying i agree to is nobody said anything the cory booker here's the thing i don't understand how right now when i'm agreeing with you is still sounds like fight content does no no people just thinking sounds like a place. The sounds like i don't have the energy today twenty eight hours but don't you think it's crazy that you had to day the democratic debates only one candidate boarded up cord book is the only person even remotely talked about russia when you brought it up and i think that i think the question becomes where what are the ways that we can talk about this that are responsible <hes> but still honest and to me it is as a black woman who believes in voting has built my career on politics. I understand when black folks say. This has never been a democracy <hes>. I also understand how the she could get way. Worse like it may not have ever been a democracy to us as we would have have liked it to be but it could be closer to authorities or authority in regime that we've seen yes and yes you're buzzword for the day and for the month should be the buzzword the whole administration like we shouldn't be talking about anything else. This is business pugh fascism at its finest setup. I think if i don't want to just identify the problem problem. I want to move towards a solution. They pass them type of electric security bill. Who's gonna make mitch mcconnell do that and especially if people feel like they're so apathetic their votes don't no matter their voices don't matter he's not gonna listen anyway. What has happened these people. They move when they see the general public moving promise you if you can raise enough hell on social media if you know a mis mis presently congressman proudly was going to give out mitch mcconnell's number. They didn't have an honor this call the switchboard. It is two zero two two two four three one to raise holy hell from the american. Here's my question and i'm this is where this is my conundrum being dead ass serious. There's only so much fight. I have in me and to me right now. I don't know whether my emphasis in my energy should be placed on on fighting russia and this faux democracy that we currently have or should it be fighting for our folks and moving us tour were to positions of power and then we'll get to that both are like so imminent in so urgent and i just feel like i don't have the bandwidth to to fight votes so if you allow this guy to steal another election to don't wanna do that either they stole andrews and stacy's never black people will never knew that yes you're right but you name two great examples of two people who i'm power stolen. I like like lanark. I'm telling you i am confident. There's nothing you can tell me that andrew gillum and that stacey abrams did not win their race. There's nothing nothing you can tell us what happened in. I'm confident and i wanted to get the alexis. Thrash interfered. There's proof of it not only did. They did that happen at least in florida. I don't know that i let me see if they're not only that happened. There campaign started getting investigating so i designed so exactly. What do you think that donald trump donald. Trump has already trying to set the stage to go. After all his political enemies he sorta guy re tweet a conspiracy theory about bill clinton getting teams guy kids who knows what he's doing on purpose and he's going to have william bar and all of those guys in the d._o._j. Investigating all his political enemies and then he's gonna start getting political enemies arrested you know why because he got more courage and more balls than anybody on on the left because that's what the left should be doing the his ass. I just don't understand now. We're talking about balls the by net fowley. Let's talk about something joyous. Wait a minute look up yeah kirmani interior mid-term. You'll better overload yeah. Well there scissors fear of it. I know for sure her that. Are you listening. I know for sure florida and i don't see anything like they say. They suspect i sure they they found it in florida. No fans russians targeted election websites in florida georgia and seattle iowa. I know this has two thousand sixteen but if they did it in two thousand sixteen they did in twenty two. I promise you they found it in two thousand eighteen and floors either way we know that votes were suppressed and somebody's got brian and kim georgia didn't he wasn't he didn't he purged hundreds of thousands of voters and there were fifty three fifty something thousand <hes> up to election day the the hadn't been told one way or the other so my point is why do we keep telling people to run out there and go vote and we notified his fixed. Let's tell them to fight his fix or they don't get discouraged. People have to note in two thousand sixteen they went out and they voted for hillary clinton. Shed four million more popular vote and it was rushing in nine times out of ten. She probably won but the election action with dolan from her. We need to know that we don't have this curry okay but i think like here's the thing like what would to me was more discouraging then you knowing that like black folks should be the main ones that understand. This game has always been stacked against us a different no no no this. This is kind of not different. I'm saying that if you know the game has always been stacked against us and we've always our ancestors are direct. You know the folks who were direct descendants of our grandparents grandparents great aunts and uncles and all them parents. They've always figured out a way. We owe it to them to figure out a we owe it to the future to figure out it wasn't argued. I just feel like oh well. It's fix so i just i'm going to sit at home. I think we need to we ask not smart. We all need to mobilize but they have the people the powers that be have to make the general public aware of what we're up against that i think they're not going to do that and so this is my question going back to from a second ago of we know that the elected officials right and just understand if they fear that telling the voters means voter apathy that ah directly impacts their jobs voters. Don't turn out. They don't necessarily win there elections. I get that they have do they have a conflict of interest in telling the absolute truth so that means that people who are advocates and activists and otherwise inform needs to share that information and say. We're not telling you this to sit at home. We're telling you this. You know what we're up against. And why are you need to call mitch mcconnell why those bills need to pass the senate why these bills to be passed on the state and local level right to me. It's the exact opposite but i understand why elected officials shows would feel conflicted about it. I'm not saying right but i get their perspective. Silence is never work though no it's terrible it's just it's almost as <hes> as bad as being the predator or the oppressor yourself because i i think i think silence is exactly that is dangerous and i think that <hes> they keep saying how black people like. We're gonna be deciding factor in the election in two thousand twenty and you see how donald trump right now is targeting certain black media outlets. I think i read a article. In the new york times with guy was seeing he saw donald trump add on a breakfast club interview right and if that is what he's doing because i think i read in the time that he said he wants to target black men between the ages of eighteen and thirty five or something like that and they're going to be using the fact that hey you know the first step act and lowest unemployment rate among black people. We know that he's targeting us in that way. What happens whenever black people have that type of collective how find a way to destroy whether it's black wall street whatever the fucking whenever we unify and his group operation they find a way to describe. That's why i think they're going so hard. In two thousand twenty the suppress all motherfucking votes yeah well. It didn't start with twenty twenty started as soon as they realize barack obama could win right after that two thousand eight election shen there were immediate steps being taken for voter i._d. Cutting back on early voting days getting rid of absentee mailing a lot of states. There were over a hundred and fourteen the bills by the time we got the other side at twenty ten which is the same time that the tea party was percolating and i remember at the time saying percolator percolate. I believe they can't stand you partying around the time it started bubbling up the people were like you know oh it's not racist and this is about about fiscal conservatism you know and all that and they wanted to ensure that they had healthcare that made sense that was always a racist thing right like i remember temper walking my boss at the time of the steps to vote for <hes> the healthcare act and maxine clear before them but i was ever before i was working we hear was it twenty seven hundred twenty ten. It was twenty ten but i remember her. I wasn't working for all the members yet but i was working for <hes> yeah i was working for <hes> congressman thompson on the homeland security committee but anyway there were other members in at the a time like walking with them hearing about <hes> a white man spitting on congressman cleaver who became our boss leader. They were one of the capitol steps to go vote for the health correct and a white man spit on him and yes. They were going to vote for obamacare jesse jackson junior. I think andre carson was there. John lewis was there and congressman thomson. You gotta foot people up. No no no. You're missing the point. The point is the tea party was all about racism voter i._d. Bills in voter suppression measures were always about racism. The supreme court decision jin in two thousand thirteen to gut the voting rights. Act was always about racism was is about the president votes one too. Many white republicans have slipped up and said it. You know somebody from the tea party the spit on me. We didn't knock they fucking ass out spilt that t- all over the house steps in and having a leonard there is not going to cognac party okay so now now we need there. We all need their day-to-day. I love their. What's the last good thing you learned about in therapy last time i was in therapy. I was crying my my ass off what happened. <hes> the reason outcry on my ass off is because it dawned on me at my father never taught me anything that i can use now in important to be in black yeah yeah he definitely did but i'm just talking about. I guess <hes> i guess i won't say being a man 'cause i don't i don't. I don't really know what the definition of being being a man is but i'm talking about like the little things like learning how to change a tire. You know my dad never told me to change a tire. You're woman enough. My the one time i watched my dad changed. Try to change tire. He was throwing the tire all into bush's. I remember being about five or six doing all numbers. We got a flat tire on a road trip and and i remember asking my mom mommy. Why is daddy playing ball with that. You know what he was frustrated what he was doing. I thought he was having fun and i when invited to the party my my daddy would chastise me for things that he never taught me about so you got my dad's friends a lot of time. When i was growing up he spent a lotta time. I'm in rehab. You know <hes> he always on mental health issues you know he. He told me last november that he'd tried to kill himself like thirty years ago but he didn't because i'm the only kids you had at the time. <hes> you know he was on ten to twelve different medications throughout his life. He was going to therapy two and three times a week so he was dealing with mental health issues plus he was dan would with drugs alcohol so i remember going to rehab and stuff when i was young but i'm talking about. I got i got older and the streets kinda raised me right in and i was out there selling crack while aland stuff like it was just little things i didn't know how to think about like <hes> one time when i when i was selling crack my my my dude god bless today his name's derail his father god god bless today had called the house and was like yo. You know there's a lot of sales coming over here right now. You need to come through the can. We come over. There and i'm like yeah. I remember my daddy getting so mad at me saying if you don't handle been this better than negative fuck out my house right and i'm like well it the lease you could tell me out of jokes at the very least yeah my dad's loads as oh drugs like the actually rated my mother's house they came mother's house and knock on the door and my mother signed the warned the search the house because they had this whole they thought my dad was some type of kingpin and they stopped him leaving <hes> sectionals cornucopia where a lot of my family lives and the ad like less than a grammar kokin is and then they came to my mom house and search my mom house and they found less than a grandma residue on a bag in my trash cans and he took me to me me and my dad in jail for like a weekend for less than a grandma cocaine so yeah he did his thing but my my point is in therapy and i'm crying. I just started aww balling. I'll ever taught me anything worthwhile. Don't even realize it's lessons that i learned from him but he was the same man that handed me message to the black man i buy lottery mohammed handed me autobiography malcolm x. He you know but i mean i didn't really learn anything directly from him. It's not like how i am with my my children with me and my older daughter riding around and explaining things to her and we're actually talking talking to her about communicating with people and i'm telling her books. I want her to read books. He's read now like it's different like we in africa together. We nelson mandela's part-time museum like it's it's different amac. I'm actively always instilling things and my children. I don't think that he did that for me. Do you think that he did the best he could. He did the best he could and and by the way that is another thing i realized over the past couple of years i'm going to therapy and then him being open with me about his mental health struggles and just me realizing like managed to do battling drugs by alcohol. You know mental health issue like he. He did the best he absolutely positively could so so given that doesn't mean you don't have the right to be sad about your experience. Can you release him and be able to build a like. I'm gonna say released. I let him go but like not harbor any resentment and not be unforgiving towards him not be bitter about what he didn't know. It comes and goes from haringey. How do you work on staying out of resentment and bitterness <unk> was the practice. I don't know because i don't i don't i. I try not to think about it. I suppress but then it comes out in therapy <hes> and when i talked to him i love him but it's mostly allegiance business but then i start thinking about the future and i started thinking about dan we'll what about when he's not here. How will i feel you know but then i have. I have unreasonable weird that resentment when we all vacation in this like my mom is with me. Come on mommy mama passport and i'm like evy sold dope. The firm. I dad was still together and i could you know so both for him to kinda love that i show my mom. You know what i'm saying like like i can't help but think about that type episode which is one of the reasons that you know i am a big proponent of black men not cheating like <hes> not only because my wife don't kill me but also because i see how that fucks up the family dynamic and we we always point the finger that systemic oppression and marginalization in that all of that is true to all that all that played a part in breaking up the black the black family but and why the headed household in many answers but we we don't wanna i don't wanna be a part of that yeah i. I don't want to contribute to that. You break this. I i wanna break the cycle dysfunctional black family like i think when i see a black family is dope when i see a black husband black white they're black kids. That's strong and i think we need that. You know so i like. That's when i saw my father did to my mom and how that messed up bar family family. At least i think he did. I just don't want to. I don't want any parts of that's all that doesn't make me fucking so that when i'm in therapy so keep working on so have you had it with the last thing i learned that that is the root. My father is the root of ninety five percent of all bullshit as hard. I e is you gotta think about the things he did. Teach me things he did. Teach me. It's just just a bunch of shit. I'm trying to unlearn up saying i have done a certain. He heard this. I don't know i mean me and my father. My father said things to me like yo. You haven't one woman is after. He says things like that to me. But now i remember when you when confronted you about cheating on my mom you look in the eye and and you told me you only got one woman. That's like the only got one woman when you get older. You understand but i i wonder if let me just let me put it to you this way as your sister. You have grown so much in the last year. You have grown so much more in the last two years <music> when you consider the trajectory of your growth over the last few years. Why would you not allow your dad the same ban within grace race to grow himself because you've got to get work. Maybe he's growing. It may not be your pace but for him to say one thing to you about cheating back in the day and now acknowledge something completely different that is growth and that doesn't mean that what he said was damaging. Can you release the thing from before or an honor where he is now for your own good. I grew to love my father my father. I think he's a great man. Can i just don't think he was a great father. Definitely will integrate husband to my mother you know but i love him as a human being and it's just like when i see him. I see so much of me in him that it actually frightened yeah 'cause i'm like i could. I could go either way right so i just want him. I want all men to do the work. You got to do the work you gotta do the work to be a better human being period that is i think the thing that i'm trying to push back. If i knew on is the fact that it sounds like he has done some work back they even told you that he battled with depression true right that means that he had to come undetermined at some point with semi his cousin who killed himself over on thanksgiving day he was i didn't i didn't know i'm not going to say because he was young. He's twenty six years old but he used to to work with my father. All the time. My father would give my job to do take him to work stuff like that and <hes> that was the fourth time he tried to kill himself. He shot himself in his stomach. Once he took pills wants to cut his wrist once and shot himself in the mouth on thanksgiving day and killed himself and between that and my last book which was shook one was all about depression yeah that that's what made my father have. That conversation with that guy is a form of growth and i think that i'm just saying like the the thing that i don't want you to rob. Rob yourself of is <hes> the the places of gratitude you have for your dad so that you can appreciate growth. It may not be we at your pace. It may not be the type of growth you wanna see you may resent him still read some of the things that you're having to unlearn but i dare you to shit some of the resentment mint so that you can really release that stuff because what it sounds like the one thing i have been learning therapies about mirrors and how people are in our lives to mir behavior for us wrestle we can get rid of it <hes> and sometimes it's an inverted mirror. <hes> inverted mirror is it's. It's a perversion of who you are not reverted in and like you know the kids but it's just it's an off version of yourself and so they're there to highlight certain inadequacies in in ourselves our certain weaknesses this is in ourselves and so your dad is probably manifesting some aspect of that and is triggering for you but the reason why is triggering for you is because there's something in you you still that it that is activating that it's registering with that you have to shit. That's not his responsibility but that's honestly that's just being a that's his being a young young more but that's just being a black man in hip hop culture but i'm telling you i've been telling you that i think you should write him. A letter a long time. I would love to write a millennial but man oh man what don't read that's not true you think he went read your letter. I don't no no you think he didn't read your book. He deary do come on man. He will read your letter and i bet you there something deep down. I'm for him. That wants to get that relationship when you said that to me decide. When you talk about still fighting things like going back hoe shit right on the leading gene minds aid why. I don't know what that's okay. Stop screaming is triggering for you. Why because what i said earlier that goes back got to be in like a black man in hip hop. I was raised in a certain era. I was raised in the deny there my dear papa i. That's i mean you have shack. Who did songs like you know. Biological didn't bother talking about his father and stuff like that but it still is as easy as it is for me to be vulnerable now. It's still just hoffman well. Let me put it this way. The very behavior you want your daughters to <hes> exit is their behavior that you have to demonstrate yourself but is easier for women to do that. That's that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. The women are more loving more nurturing more caring known. What you're talking about is an over generalization. I think generally early that can be the case but i think that i'm in a lot of ways more guarded than a lot of female friends and i've had to do a lot of work to shed that a lot of it just came from trauma <hes> triggered and so i put a guard up so i wouldn't be hurt. 'cause i'm super sensitive but i know a lot of sensitive boys and men but they were told that wasn't okay. You're sensitive. The reason why you're sobbing in therapy about your dad is because deep down is hurt. You're not mad at him. You're hurt or and so it's just like okay the way later resolve this hurt so it does not pass onto your daughter's is to deal with it and i'm the reason why i recommend it a letters because i gyro my dad letter because that conversation is still your dad. You don't want to have a fear in you. Don't you don't wanna for. I didn't wanna forget stuff so i wanted to read him. Everything so i wrote the letter in an r. rated outlaw so we can talk doc through it and so that have to be your method but what i'm saying is i know you well enough reason why we started this podcast so so we can let people into some our phone conversations stations. This comes up enough on our phone conversations for me to say this is a block free you a you do not know what is keeping you from. You know like it could it. It could be a whole nother a whole different world out here a whole different way where you could be settled down violence in communities between black boys if they could realized realized that having this pain and talking and working through it as okay you're you're absolutely right and you'll fathers are important and i think that you know they made us. They made us believe that black fathers. We're so not necessarily to the point where we started the buy into that a little bit like you'd think about how many men were just forced to be men on their own. Their fathers weren't around how many women didn't to have that love from their fathers and they had to get it from other guys so it's just like you know when you become a father is just like the i want to be a better father than your father. Louis was and especially you like you want to be the best at everything you touch so that's not a surprise to me that you want to be the best that i would implore you to also be the the best son not just to your mamba to your to even if you feel like he doesn't deserve it because if you can extend yourself in that way you being able to be vulnerable in this regard will only only free you up. I will also say. I don't know if this is true but this is what's on my heart. You don't have <hes> biological sons. That doesn't mean you don't have any in the community. There are people young boys every day who listen to you on breakfast club who are using the words that you share as fatherly advice what what if you broke through this other barrier with your dad and you could go into communities and train them up in other ways to be better men to be better fathers to be better brothers and insci- that might be that might be why you don't have no boys because you got a whole hundreds of them. You know out here that are looking for guidance. I mean that's what on my father told me about the mental health issues he was dealing with. It helped me know that i was on the right path because he was honest would be about that and i get that all the time. I get these brothers that run up on me and be like yo vulnerable. I see what i'm saying just because you're the sun doesn't mean that you're not the leader you non. I mean like just because you're the sun doesn't mean that you're not the leader. There may be tools that you're getting in therapy that your dad never had the privilege to be exposed to. That's true yeah we we are the first generation that have the luxury of healing that i know like back in the day good time they'll scratching survive and we are thriving can't heal <music> our present our future. If we don't pass we're carrying that trauma around and his gonna surface as because what happens is you know how like you <hes> <hes>. Let's say you bake a cake in his burnt and you just put frosting alright. You know what i mean you layer the frost in over it because at frost and tastes good but it sooner or later somebody's gonna bite into the edge of the burnt. Ask your you can't get past that like you have to uncover that you know what i mean like. There's nothing beautiful or that. Nothing that tastes good that you became code on top of that you know what i mean like putting icing on dog shit we're not burnt cake and that's fine even worse jewish of gifts for cry so you learn mirroring and therapy yeah and i learned <hes> that the root of a bunch of my bushes my do you wanna know one other one. That's more vulnerable <music>. I'm i'm scared of this one. I went to this forum. Call landmark in this forum. It was a form of therapy but it also triggered me a really got on my nerves but i learned a like. I have pages of notes from landmark. I think you should do it by the way but in landmark they didn't say at eric they deal with this concept car rackets where it's like the back and forth that did you go through with people all the time as you say. I wanna be vulnerable okay so there is this moment we're like lists out these different rackets that you have like you know. You're trying to make somebody wrong. You're trying to win this argument. You're trying to and i was like i do every single one of those and then there was this moment 'cause i. I think i've talked to you about this too. There's addiction in my family like your runs deep not necessarily my immediate family but like alcoholism drugs like all of the gambling so i was sitting there. I'm like oh shit. I haven't had takes into being right like the the the whatever ever the thing that the journal in rush like when i went to is when somebody says your alley that's real is like crazy. That'll never working relationship by the way i'm going to be an honor. That will never work between release it anyway. The point is we're going t._v. But not i don't i will well. Maybe it does manifest itself in early ships but i think that was so crazy is i can think of the moments where my dad is. You right baby and i'm like yes. You know what i mean like. There are these moments and hearing that is like i won and it it kind of goes. There's a net. We don't have time for this but because i'm gonna there's another layer to it which is take this image of perfection which was also talked about so it feeds into that me being right means is closer to perfection image right but the right thing what was a breakthrough for me in landmark and then subsequently kinda just working through it. I'm not done. This is going to be hard. When i've been being right as hell for thirty nine years it was the question. Would i rather be right happy. No what what i rather be right or make the person whole and if the compromise is winning the argument so that you can be wounded or tabling argument so that you can be hall. It could be a part of your healing. I would rather that being right is part of making that person like you might be with her. It's the method right like it doesn't have to be a tear down or a takedown or like you know winning at all costs which is really my thing like it would just be like bulldoze into prove this thing and the outcome midst of it. Is people think you got asshole. Tendencies or people thinking like your shirt. People thinking you know what i mean. It doesn't mean that i'm never going to win. An argument again are being on a debate into on c._n._n. But i think the ultimate thing is it can't be winning argument at all costs you one of the forty powell it is marina two. He is never a never on. I don't wanna misquoting because this is a good one. Somebody can learn from this never win. Yep it is laud nine nine win through actions never through argument and it says any momentary tribe you think you have gained through argument is really a pirate victory. The the resentment ill-will you stir up its stronger and last longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you to your actions without saying a word demonstrate. Do not that word explicit explication explication. I'm not going to be right right now. Yes wow so. I i haven't read forty power when when i first heard of this book. I was scared of it. <hes> i heard about allows superstar like that sound sounds like i'm trickery tricking me but i wanna read this. I mean i've read it a christian now. It's not a bad book. I mean isn't that a great book. Actually it's like anything else you take it in. You don't have to live by well. That's the same information like i feel like. I learn with landmark but i'm like i really want to exercise that because it also you know it gets taxing going back and forth with people they get on my nerves. I'm probably getting on people's nerves in my beyond. My owners drained after that and nothing happened. Nothing acting was really accomplished. Never work relationships because when you're a relationships in your arguing like me just going back and forth. I gotta say to myself sometime. Don't wanna be right. It'd be happy you could just because i feel right domain. I am right yeah. You know what i'm saying. I mean dead wrong but she might just say fuck it or i might just say fuck it but nothing nothing got accomplish. Now we just sit around the house pouting and each other all day until one of us comes over which usually means like. I'm sorry i apologize. I normally mark you are you are normal lot and i get. I get upset at this. Small state not even upset. He was the worst i was down in mexico and i told you i was in mexico and every day you sent me something that you're upset about. In the moment trying she will look at these three that you just wanted to roy story i realize about with my wife went to argue good. I'm never i don't. I don't get mad at her. I'm not set. I'm not mad. I just be hurt. The hearts my fucking field this is is what i'm trying to tell you about your day. You're not mad at him but you're hurt and you have to have give yourself. Permission to say is okay to be hurt is not that you're darren less of a man you're not you're sensitive like every other human being now deal with it. We really had a cockroach theo moment today how cockroach i was tired higher salaries like oh my god there was a copy to be show referenced israel aunty uncle analogy so only a certain age do. Do you understand this but we was. Oh so we end yes to you the airport <hes> and i don't have free checking than have pre check global entry. 'cause i got felonies they. They won't give it to me which is crazy to me because i don't understand why it got kidnapping. Charge revoke is that you know. I have somebody we can call i never went to. I did it online line. If i if i think about it went down there now you when you go online you have to go in for an interview. Did they give you an interval view. It was like no because you had to type in all your felony even though so oh everybody in my family in my astronaut when you if it gets rejected. Can you send it to me. We have some people we can yes so you know i get to the we you did <hes>. We're leaving l. a. and where the line i can go through clear. She can go through pre check but you know she got clear clears that you need both tehran preach echostar agree. You also need greeters yes but we theorised for safety. We usually just go through together. Regardless of what is we got but it was early morning. She was tied so i'm just thinking she's behind me. Choose i appreciate you go to clear and i i didn't pay eight at no attention so i just see her walk into pre checked and then i'm in clear and then like the line was still kinda long so it took me a little not a long time but a little while to get through when she was already through and i just i held as she until we got on the plane it we got on that plane. I said i really like the fact that you went through pre check. All oh my god. I hurt my feelings. I just felt abandoned for ten minutes. Yes okay. I'm sorry i did what is that what is that from. What is that. John doe. No left in the store when you're a little kid. I don't know but but like like i'm saying like i said it's not things that make me upset. Nothing that made me mad. I can be genuinely hurt okay. Did i need you to some some of those. Can you let them go without having me to confront him. I can't you just release it. We need to schedule yachting. We wouldn't have muffins. We got on the plane. I was hurt. I was i was like what was your what was your releasing practice. Where did you do. I just wanted to say nothing and then she wasn't really thinking about it because it's early in the morning so she's like tired like you know we understand understand what too late i thought you went to clear and i was like i even bought it up again last night and it's too late eighty nine letting also say ask you something now once when you went to that pre check oh my god. I wasn't through that lines. You didn't think not once like you're such a baby. I wanted like to counsel you through this but i can't this is ridiculous for being a sucker. You know you're being a baby a._b._c.'s brad and here's the thing like they're definitely moments where some of this makes this is actually a little nuts and you have to let it go like it's not good for. My mom. Tells me this all the time so this will show you where we might marry each other. My mom is like angela. Make big things small and small things nothing ooh my homegirl longer mother brittle says don't major minors that too but like you really held it for two days and brought it up twice good use of your timer justice ninety nine good time you could use the all time <hes> i need to leave oh no c._n._n. C._n._n. Somebody's all black panel show. I don't know about a show so we did that was on page sixty two new post because page six is definitely where you get your fabulous april ryan andrew gillum bakari sellers. We did another panel now this morning on new day exactly. Is there really a show happening. They have not talked to us about any show. I'm not received any calls. Not any emails from from people wanna see black people on c._n._n. Altogether in the show slap probably clearly some casinos keeping together got flying in from different places like say like the panel. I promise you i haven't heard anything. I wouldn't lie to you. You want that to happen. I think that <hes> i wouldn't mind it. I think that what i care the most about what is that black people are reflected on every major network in spaces where we control the content. There's you know blackeyed peas and creatives and and segment producers and we're creating a pathway in opening opportunities for other folks and so if we can ever be a part of that you down for that. I don't think c._n._n.'s fully grasp the concept of that. There is a different viewpoint of the world that comes from black people. You know what i think. I think that somehow when they put us all together <hes>. I think that was an interesting dynamic is we don't all agree. It wasn't like we were on. It was a man choir. It was different different perspectives sometime on the same view or completely divergent views and i think for black folks it was dope. 'cause we've been telling all we're not monolithic right and and i think cardi and andrew look exactly alike they don't look they're not even the same shade of black like they're not the same person who definitely gonna become from. They popped off the same gremlin all right. It's been real all right guys thank you. This is been another edition of sibling rivalry. Write a letter to your daddy. Almost think about it <music>. I'm gonna ask you about it later. I'm serious all right shoulder. Got angela ripe lenard mckelvey angela rye sibling rivalry yeah.

Coming up next