EHP089: How To Live Victoriously and Achieve Your Dreams
Welcome to another episode of that alive, the talk show dedicated to providing emotional healing sharing. So how you create a happier life. My guest today is a two-time domestic violence of Ivor. She now helps women build their inner strength and resilience. Sometimes confidence is all we need to follow our dreams. She started reaching within LLC to help you launch your journey to success, welcome. It's Jennifer Jones Bryant. How are you? Good. How are you? Good thirty one years. Yes. Working federal service now versus getting a rock inch or just taken vacations every other week. Why are you now going to offer your time in expo TS to us ungrateful? People. Ooh, how we can. Even if we are even if even if it's not volunteer, and we are paying for services either. We don't do with the person's suggest what they ask. Are. We do with attitude. Oh, that's not gonna work. I'm not doing it. You assigning up for that? Why? Because here's the thing. I was once they're the one with the attitude. Yes. My early twenties. I was once they're in with the attitude. Okay. And then I learned how to channel it the right way. So everybody sees me as the sassy one now. Just a little bit just a tan visit a little bit. Just a tad bit. But no, I. I've had to overcome some serious personal challenges. And so now is the time to give back. So I've been using the last couple of years to do work in the community specifically surrounding domestic balance. I am a two-time survivor of domestic violence. I had to quickly leave home at the age of seventeen I was carrying for a mom who suffered from severe mental illness and one day she approached me and while I was sleeping. She approach a closed door and she threw bullets at the door. And she told me if I tried to poison her again, she will kill me. Wow. So as a senior in high school, what do I do with that? How do I respond to that? Where you wanna situation was you and your mom and the house. It was just myself and my mom in the house. My brother was in cost A-Rated during the time and I had lost my dad at the age of five so. You know, you may hear that cliche of without a father. You may make some wrong decisions. Well, in my story with my story that's true in. So I didn't have that guidance. But what I did know heart-to-heart is that I had a mom who was broken. And I didn't know how to fix her a mom who was sick. And the topic about mental illness was very taboo still is today. And just like you take a cold medicine. We have a coal it's okay to take medicine if you need to if you have a chemical imbalance. It's a little taboo today that then it was very tight bright. And you didn't discuss it. I didn't discuss it. You just you just deal with right in. So I I went to who. I thought was a father figure who lived in the same building because I didn't want to leave her and no one gives you a compass in life to navigate through life. So I went to go live with him. But no one told me that that was a bad decision. And so. He made sexual advances towards me. It was the age difference. I was seventeen and I believe he could have been in his late forties or fifties. And so I quickly left a call one of my aunties and quickly moved with her and their lies the next chapter my life. And so I went to school during the day high school during the day. My senior year was very lonely in had to wear masks every day, happy or whatever. And then in the evenings. I worked at a fast food restaurant, and I caught the metro. So I mean, the the public transportation system of way so way bus did what I needed to do in. So and then speeding up a couple of years a year later once I graduate after school. I was towed from family and friends you need to go get you a good government job not government. But government. Right, right. So I'm riding the subway one day. And of course, my effervescent personality comes out, and I'm just Chit chatting with a total stranger. Do you hear me? So I tell people always show up as your offense excel in so I'm riding the subway and we Chit chatting, and then I'm ready to get off. And she says where are you where are you going? I said I'm going to a job fair. So she said to me. Don't go any further. My name is she gave me her name. And she said you are hired. That's how I entered the governor. And when I came in I came and hungry, but I came in Hungary with the attitude, so the I took advantage of opportunities of people who wanted to mentor me your gift will make room for you will make your Antic. So yes, you were speaking to a complete stranger public environment. Yes. And little did, you know you were being interviewed job, right? Then always always being interviewed. And so when I I was doing so well, professionally right because people were not, you know, they were noticing executives were noticing that this young girl was hungry. I was working the overtime. Oh did. I also say that same building where I came all cute to work in that same building the evening. I was putting my hair in opponent sale. And I was clean. Those bathrooms, and so they were seeing me push the card and in in the mop and all the broom and all that good stuff. But also what I was lacking was what I felt was that love from a man. So I felt like I was missing that piece of the puzzle during this time period, and where you were busting your chops from non. The nine. Yeah. Right. Ain't going to school. Okay. I got through. Where was your mom? Mom's still was at home in her apartment. She had she had remarried. Because she was dating a loving, man. Very loving may. And he's still here today at age eighty six so he didn't know exactly how to care for her either. Because understand she had a fifth grade education failed to say that and she raised my brother in I own our own, and then you have him, you know, I don't know what grade he made it too. And so it's like, how do you navigate? But guess what I never was shy about talking to people. So I explained to someone about what was happening in my household because I was getting reports from people who lived in the neighborhood, and then also was catching the bus to go check on her, and I had to actually go through the court system to get her checked out. She had to have emergency evaluation. I can remember it as if it was yesterday in the sheriff coming to pick her up involuntarily and her looking at me with piercing is the say, how could you do this to me you love me? But it was the best thing I could do and she. Gotta valuated. She got in K care, and everybody's MAG now on even ground because everybody clipping their like, you know, you just left. Yep. And you didn't know what happened to your mom? Okay. So now, we're back, and we have everybody don't even grandma's being care for your going to school yet. Yep. And working in that. Yes. Okay. And then you didn't feel though you were very accomplished. You didn't feel. Nope. Nope. Nope. That I just felt like I was again missing that love from a male. Okay. You know, although my mom was going through which was going through her generation didn't up outwardly say, I love you. Yes. I love you. And I tell that to my teenage daughters. All I love you, a hug and everything. And so people don't know how powerful those words are now don't get me wrong through her actions. I knew she loved right? But I just wanted to have that comfort of heaven that male figure because my brother as I said was absent quite a bit from my teenage years because he was incarcerated twice. So how did you guess who was the first person that made you feel like voice was being filled? Oh, yes. Let take me back to a time. It was a fine brother. Let me tell you. That's when lice Gail, Honey. When life money in. And so we've done a lot of time period of of ale the bar. You wave all he was cute. And so he, you know, I remember going to my cousin boyfriend. He was a friend of my cousin's boyfriend. We went out and she's like, here's a guy. I want you to meet. And I was two weeks shy of this thing your prom. And I said, okay, who am I going to go with? I don't have anybody go. I'm not gonna go. It's the lonely senior year does not going to go. I'm just stay home. And so once he found out that I didn't have any one take him. And he was like, all yours. Oh, pretty I'm gonna take you. And I was like really though, he was very charming. And he got. Nice limousine for us and everything and it was a great great evening. We had a great time, and I became his girlfriend, and and then I guess a few months went by a star saying the real hem and. He was drinking a lot and he was on drugs. He just became a monster old was he he was what was the age difference? Maybe a year too. So you both teenagers. Yeah. Late teen was he still living in his home with his parents. Wow. But this parent, and they didn't check any of that behavior. Thirty check it. They did not check it. I mean, they would hear us fussing. And remember, I said, I was younger were added to salt was a one to just sit there and be like, okay. You're gonna hit me. I'm going to be okay. Nah. We will toss limb. I wouldn't recommend that anybody. But yeah. And I got out of this situation because I had to have a moment. Okay. And that moment was the moment win. The EMT was standing over me you. Yep. The EMT coal because he and I entered into an argument, and I was fighting him back. He got really pissed off at me, by the way, we were fighting on his lawn. And there was an audience that was the which included his family in free egging him on thought. It was common girls hearts you liked. But yes, this is you gotta handle your business. And what I did was I had punched him so hard in his mouth. He got to say he was wearing braces. And you know, it was painful because it was the old school braces, the silver and on the why with the wires. He can remember. And I shut my eyes while tell you this. He rubbed his tongue against his tooth has front tooth and when his tongue down. So that one of the brace. And he looked at me and he from the back of his throat. He brought up the most deplorable disgusting flim ever he spits in my face. He caused me a b. In. He said, no one would ever want. You. He balls up his fists, and he hits me, and I passed out all our saw was darkness, and I hit to grow. I don't know what happened. I don't know how long I was out. All I do know is all our her was EMT guy after he put the stuff underneath my nose and said, are you okay? Smell insult underneath her nose. We'll be right back to find out. What exactly happens when the EMT's helped her up? What if I told you that you could stop the negative tape in playing inside your head? What if with seven simple steps, you could leave a pain of the past behind and live every day as your true authentic self? It is possible. And you can do it. The evil seven simple steps to beat emotional baggage. How to become hold healed healthy and happy shares. How to resolve emotional baggage? And feel free to live true to your own personality spirit and character transformed negative thinking into positive thinking and become equipped to boldly face your pass and resolve emotional pain. Get your free copy at that. The meat alive dot com slash equal. And we are back with MS Jennifer Jones, Brian she is sharing her remarkable extraordinary story of being a two-time domestic violence -vivor. We're right in the middle of her first Alta -cation where she her. How moment she calls. It. Was waking up to the EMT's putting spelling salt under your nose and asking you if you were. Okay. Yep. Yep. Yep. How did you respond to the? I'm okay. Still a part of me was very prideful. I was able to get up. They asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. No. And I remember calling. One of my relatives the next day because I still stay with him that night. I was still free to leave. Eventually I had to do some self talk. And work on the inside of me. Yes. And the stories I was telling myself, so how did you get the strength to walk away? A never departed from my faith. And always tell my faith is very strong. My mom gave me a very good violation. And I start beginning to talk to one of my cousins who had trusted deeply. Okay. And who I was living with and she helped me through it. And I started getting more focus on my education. Like I was going to school at night, and I was working on my education. So the other piece of it too was I left my unhealthy. And I went to go live with my girlfriend in her grandmother age. I believe I was I was how was I then eighteen 'cause I. I don't. We make moves in during that time house to house to house, you got it. And she made it all that's the most important thing. Ring. We're moving now the teenager from house to house we get to now our third. Doma sil- domicile in the same guy. Actually when I said, I got the strength to leave him. He didn't have the strength to leave me alone. He became Stocker. So he found out where I live with my girlfriend and there were a set. There was a set of woods that was near by the house where I live and in the evening time when I walk off the buzz he will grab me throw me in a woods. And it would be you know, it was a horrible experience. And he's like, I know you with someone else because very possessive, and it was my girlfriend's cousin guy. Cousin that approached him in? We already know what's the end into this. Yeah. Leave me to leave me alone. He did what he needed to do to tell you to send a message to leave her alone. And he left me alone. He left me alone. When the puppy is approached by though, everything changes, everything changes. So I left us situation begin to grow my career. And I thought I was good to go. And then the second time it came about with a different guy. So like, so many we get into the hustle and bustle of life. Yup. And we continue to spend forward. Yes. Moving moving because you know, I gotta get this next grade. I gotta get this next promote. Oh, yes. I gotta get my degree. I gotta get and we get in the business of life, not realizing that the negativity the toxic core, the bag language that we say to also is running with us also there, and it's true. According to us. Yeah. Yeah. So Where'd you got him into? Going to the credit union being all q going to. And he was the associate or the teller at the time and handsome, man, he did tick tick low this one got money. Yeah. I don't know. I wasn't thinking. Yeah in so with him his abused in come onto two years later. How scary is that? How scary is. Because it's I think it's the. Relationships marriage on the thing, take you to the balling point of life. Some Amanda how good your Representative is on a daily basis when you get into these conflicting situations and your emotions are conflicted between you care for this person. But they're frustrating art are challenging that brings out all that negative behavior. I think so I think you're absolutely correct. Absolutely, correct. Because we had one Beck contentious argument, and it just exploded. And that's when his other side came out his possessiveness. It was crazy. I mean, he actually locked me in my own apartment. How foolish is that in my own apartment in which I luckily, I was on the first floor, and I was able to climb out the front door. I mean, the window to get my car to escape in actually fouled a restraining order on him. So is it that tell me? Take me back to that day. Was it a normal day, and you go to the door, and you can't get out or what? What the wax receded those actions? Oh, okay. So we had gotten into an argument the day before. And so I went to go hang out with one of my guy, friends, and I end up spending the night over there. All right. And so my boyfriend was at my house he had a key there. And he was apparently waiting for me. So once the so me pull up, and I came in the house he was on ice and all of that. And then he started asking me questions, and then he was like, I think you were with someone else. And I'm going to check you. And so he. Threw me on the bed, and then he proceeded to you know, violation valley and so. I told him to leave me alone. I was pushing them off of me and all of that. And I went to go run to the front door. He was blocking it stand in front of a block in it. And he was like, I'm not letting you go anywhere because I know you're trying to go see this guy. And I'm like, I'm not with anyone else. And so I ran to my bed room close the door. Locked it. And then climbed out the window. I had my car keys with me. And then I got in my car. And then I drove I can't even remember where I went. So eventually got tired and left my house, and I had called the police on fouled police report. And then we a couple of months later, we end up in I still I forgave him. Still ended up in the relationship remain there. And then we ended up in a another argument which was bad because I found out he was cheating on me in our protest him about it. And I went to where he was never advised any. To do that. And so he was like I'll talk to you later in the later was at his house, and he was furious. And he went off on me. He attacked. We thought we were good. I walked ahead of him. He threw me on the ground. He's stumped. My back with some boots of remember those rugged boots. And I have one of my girlfriends happened to be with me. She hopped out the car with a have never bet. And she starts winging on him and everything and I left that situation. And was interesting is that his mom said that my son wants to marry why don't you marry my son all meant, she all Menchie? And I said I can't allow this. Oh, I can't allow but I had people porn into me. My ecosystem consistent of people who love me and cluding my supervisor. And it was up to you to cling to the positive right and not to the negative Rex. That's a that's a choice that a lot of teenagers and young adults. Don't make today even grown women. They don't they make the wrong decision. And when they choose to listen to the negative instead of clinging to the positive that they do have in there. Now you have two daughters. Oh, my guy. Yes. Look at their face face lit up. Yes. They are amazing. Yeah. Now, how are you ensuring that your daughter's don't become generational domestic violence of? Oh, because I'm open and transparent. Here's what I went through here on the riff weighing and I started ticking them, all okay. Give me one one is if you are getting the frequent phone calls like all throughout the day. Where are you? Where are you going? Who would you with the is delay Shen all they want is you by yourself? All right. The insect. There is curious that they're trying to transfer over to you. The. Inappropriate language. Calling you out your name? Which today, some people think this cute? No, it's not is not so, but yes, so I definitely definitely talked to them. And what I also wanna share with you is that. Although I went through those circumstances those situations it made me the person AMT today. And I still in my early twenties in my twenties. I was GS fourteen and that's big that's the big deal. Six figures, you know, late twenties. So I didn't let that stop me from pursuing that would drive the guys that would make them mad like even more mad because your accomplishments feud their insecurities, correct? And he saw you more as a threat correct in that they had to control corrosive someone they can have a partner. Correct. And that I would go find somebody else that may be as in their minds not them. Now you. Have released thirty day journal. Yes. Overcoming personal challenges to achieve professional success. Ms Jennifer Jones, Bryant, tell me you birth this baby. I did how is it that you wanted to help others? So I started off with my poem that I've written call real pain. And I wrote that at a time in my life when I was experiencing the real pain of having to do with broken relationships as well as challenges that were going on in my marriage at the time. And then I go, I write my story in there about ten twelve pages, and I title with through it all a made it, and so can you? So as a reader, what is expected of me all blink as your coach. Because I'm giving you coked I'm coaching you. I'm asking you the horror questions was self discovery because I had. To do that. When I talk about those broken relationships. I had to sit with myself and say, what are you doing you need to you need to trust the process, and you gotta go through the hard work of self discovery. And you're on like, everything that you see, and I didn't go be honest, which I didn't you got to sit with yourself to learn yourself, and then I did the hard work of going to a therapist and psychiatrist to get through what I was going through. And now you owe well-equipped informs and certify jazz certification. Yes in career coach. So she not only has the education, and the paper is also she also has the situational experience to to feel you to understand the words that you say when you describe whether it's feeling stuck being in a bad relationship. Ms life. Coach Jennifer, Jennifer has given us the full one one. Yes. When they were in full one one on how to work through and walk out of a bad relationship. Listen, do not ever be embarrassed. Then you made a mistake. The most important thing is to survive and then call Jennifer to help you thrive to reach out to Jennifer finds on Instagram at reaching within. I'm anita. Your host be sure to check out that the live for where and win to see. Oh, next up.