Jamie-Lynn Sigler Returns
you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Ryan's right behind era in front of me behind. The HEINO has a ticket. Exhale spirit buying you your spirit gently massaging your neck. Did another -nother good episode man. Another episode. Last week was Martin Star Week before Brandon. Routh putting good contin out You know we're getting people You know I'm doing my best to guess that people care about and more importantly I think that if you listen like let's say you're listening today. 'cause you love discuss. Maybe you might go back if you like this and go. Hey you know 'cause I learned about each guest and I think that each GA- each The audience they agree listeners. Go you know. I'm listening now? Even if I don't know anybody because you find some people just you find something in each one that you're like you might be able to relate to say each time but I really believe it. Did you do anything from this week? And your dumb jury duty. Thank God thank God. I'll tell you all about it. Almost jumped off my roof. It wouldn't kill you. What's the thought that high now is worth the experience honestly like it? Put it off for so long. It's easy to sort of you know. Put it aside and just keep pushing it and pushing to have finally done it. It's kind of a relief. Yeah I use my I've had so many back surgeries and stuff so my doctor says now. He's not sitting down for any time any like the time. Well I mean I'll give you the back problems and neck problems and then I'll switch rather be healthy and be able to sit in a frigging chair for hours although I'm doing it now Big shutout the patrons patrons on Patriot. it's just another way to Help the podcast out and we appreciate it. You have no idea. It's so nice to see people just like you know and you get a lot of cool stop. There's extra footage inside of me video that you get every month Some tears yet to see the guests upcoming guests and ask questions and merge packages and I just love it. I talked about its community. So that's cool wizard world June fifth coming up Before that may ninth. We have Miami. We're doing a con. Tommy smallville night so just look at my twitter and twitter and all that stuff So there you have that This guest is She's been on before but she wasn't filmed and She made she. Do you remember that. I mean a tear came down and I didn't. I didn't address it. She just tells the story and she's are you crying. I was like Fuck I. It was just such a great person. I I love listening to her. She has a great podcast. I was just on Pajama Pants. She's extrordinary woman a great mom a great wife. She talks about her shit though. Like you know she's not per. We're not perfect so she talks about you. Know raising kitschy talks about you know working with them as she talks about things that again people aren't always so open with an I. I like that that you you enjoy this one too I did. Yeah because I didn't know going into it. I never the Sopranos. But she's just Super Sweden. Just a really nice story. Yeah and she's dealing with a lot. Yeah I mean I think any time you know we. We always think our problems are so big and then you sometimes see other people's problems you know it's not that your problems are less. It's just like I look at her and I'm like did get the fuck up and do something get the fuck up. And she's got two kids she's married. She's working she has MS. She's doing a podcast. It's like what the F. Dude like get up do you have Ms Ryan. I don't okay neither do I. As far as I'm concerned so you know what for Jamie for yourself get up. Sorry I don't know why so that Jamie. I know you're listening. I love you dearly. I just WANNA say for the record folks you seen Michael. Wore that shirt last week. Well here's what having we're doing for two episodes. Yeah I don't WanNa do stairs lazy to get another shirt on probably similar to this shirt. Wear the same clothes every day. Sorry I'm just do the Farley every episode all right let's get inside Jamie Lynn Sigler. It's my own of you. You're listening to you inside of you with Michael who rose by the inside of you with Michael. Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. You Look Great. I'm not just saying that you do look great thank you. That's very nice I I I always. That's such an awkward thing this received to say don't ever say you look great again to me. What do I say back you say thank you thank you? That's okay. I'm not going to receiving compliments. That's something like I. I've talked about before but like don't you think it's it's just better if there's an understanding if I say hey I like your shirt instead of going on. It's an old sure I assured is let you either we do that. I don't because maybe we don't believe the person because we have so many compliments and I don't think they're real it's Hollywood. It's Pretty Damn Thang anything. That's all over the world. It's like people go. Oh my God you look great. And they're like no. I didn't even sleep yesterday. I was I was drunk. I Don we're afraid to share our like happiness where she were afraid to share. We're afraid to be judged by our reaction like if I would have been like. Yeah I felt good walking out the house today. You'd be like Oh she's little bit of a God that girl she had a good day. Talk she agreed. Yeah I said hey you look like you're having a good day to actually. I really had. What a cont. She had a good day. That's what I'm afraid of. You think maybe when someone says it that I don't know is it an insecurity. Is it just like you feel better if it self deprecating like? You're you're being. I feel more relatable if I'm self deprecating it's weird you find community and like common ground in like the Shitty Shit come together for the joy together for our sorrows. That's true so sort of writing the style down got. Jamie I mean. The your you know your. I don't know you you look tired. You Tired Cam just so tired. Cairo's mom you look like Shit. Yeah I feel like Shit and then we're just drowning in our own misery. Nanny loves to tell me when I looked tired. I don't like when people that's when she does because I'll be like yeah. That's why I need you. Do you know what I think looking tired. I think people make the mistake when they say you'll tired. I then immediately God man I i. I don't want to look at myself in America's Shit what you know you're really bad when somebody points it out that you're looking at it is well. I. I don't think they're saying you tired like your appearance. Like your face tired. Your is your face. Your smile is tired of cheeks or tired. Your skin is tired. I think they're looking at you. And they're going you disposition. You're catching your like this. Watch if I'M GONNA like this Jamie. I've had a great freaking week. I probably don't retired right now but if I was like. This is like yeah. So how's everything? It seemed tired when your energy so when they say you seem dire maybe they should change it up. Maybe they should say Ryan you look good but you seem tired because I don't want to hear a look tire now. We don't know if I like that either though. Look good but you seem like a piece of shit seem like a piece of Shit. You know what? Yeah I get that. It's almost like you. You look like you're on cocaine. Your body's moving around a lot. That's what this is just horrible saying look like. I'm on Meth is what it looks like. Yeah that's the fun. Part about kids is they. Just they. Just they don't care about a repercussion. They totally live in honesty and truth. That's here what's the worst thing you've ever heard from your kid. The ever say things like this someone around heath fat. You Know My. I've heard my son since he started like being an elementary school. Like dropping things like that like that person's fat or this sucks and I'm like hey don't say that dude husbands laugh about it. That's the problem is sometimes like there's laughter that follows it because they're so cute and you know they don't know what they're saying but like this is. I think that's your job as a parent is just give them a moral compass understand. How did not hurt people's feelings other than that? I really don't have much influence. He is he is do they tell you look tired. Yeah Oh my God. He'll tell me every you don't look good. I don't like your hair like that Take that makeup off. That shirtless funny. Yeah yeah totally and constructive criticism. I really accept well. I'm like oh it doesn't okay. I don't know how to respond to. I don't know people always say you'd make a great parent because I think we are but I think I would. I would fire back like most people mature adults. They'd be like that's sweater looks ugly. I'm like yeah well you can't even read. So what's the what you're gonNA throw me from me? Some Shit you just create another little Rosenbaum me. Another Rosenbaum what I would do I do with my friends is I. I'm affectionate. I think although I did that test that love language. But it's a test you take and you could find out who you are. What your love languages. So I think mine was quality. Get ready for this Affectionate right was last like like being touched. I guess you just gave such a good hug when I got here. I think I am affectionate when I feel comfortable when I feel like it's really authentic and that's when you should know about ten most of the time I'm not in a relationship or if I'm just talk seeing someone I don't WanNa give them too much to make them lead them. Unless I know him in it. I don't think that's a bad thing but I'd say it's intimacy. It's a fear of intimacy as what it is. That's not good. I'm looking on. That's okay you don't want to. You don't want to mislead anybody know. Quality Time was number. One time was number one. Not even on my radar. I know I love giving gifts but like receiving gifts I I mean I don't WanNa receive them. I WANNA GIVE THEM I. I give more than I get. I don't number two. I think was words of affirmation just like Ryan. You'll handsome today. At the other thing he said was that show tired. Yeah well you're sure. Is that blue? I'm colorblind discipline. The Blue Shirt really. It does something with your dark eyes. I don't know what it does but it You look really good. I'm re I would be the best husband if that's what women wanted. Because I'm genuinely your hair I if I don't see some for weeks ago it is something that you're like. Yeah every boyfriend husbands can be like you fuck. I just noticed those things. I don't know why. Yeah maybe Emma Hairdresser secret life. I discover this every time that we would have made a really good couple Max. That's what I like. I like receiving for me. See that would work because I like to do that. And I'm genuine about it. I always you look so when you walked in. Yeah I'm surprised you look good really why because I have two kids are everything you've been through hell you time you're married you have two kids you have Ms. Yeah I mean these things I don't have. Ms and I feel like Shit. So I can easily look like Shit and you. You're radiant. I'm sure you've fight things all the time with so much. I had a terrible morning. What would happen you morning? I just my six year. Old is just really hard wire when he's great he's fucking great but when he's not great it's just so annoying and like yesterday took him to hockey and I'm watching him at all he's doing is checking kids like he's like no checking. Yes yes that's what. I thought he needed tonight. Trucking on the Ice Jackson crosscheck which is illegal. There's a hip check. The HIP goes back check. Yep and I texted my husband. I'm like Y'all we've I think we might have the kid that like. I like people don't like like I'm worried that he's annoying and to other people and like I don't like that this is his instinct. And it's it's a real issue as a parent because obviously. I think my kids the greatest but then you're also seeing the side of it and it's nothing anyone did. It's who he is and he's figuring life out and then I feel bad like also talking shit about my kid but like and he really like. Everything's fight like breakfast a go. Brush your teeth. I literally looked at him this morning. I was like Bo. Just know this. Because then he's good by the end of the day he's like you know because he got the xbox taken away in the IPAD taken away yesterday and he's like I hear him in the shower being like I hate myself. I don't belong in this family and like part of me is like okay. That's for show but then another part of me is like Osha to end you. Pay attention to these words and make sure these aren't myself? I don't believe I mean He. He wants attention. Yes so this morning I said to him I was like look though. I'm sure you and I are going to get in a fight today. I'm sure many Yellen I'm gonNA feel bad about it. I'm sure you're GonNa do something misbehave and then you're GONNA get reprimanded. Just know this no matter what I think. You're the greatest and I love you. And so just remember that. He's like looking like everywhere but me and I'm like look in the eye dude. Tell me you heard me. He's like I did. I love you and then the rest of the morning. It's just that shit like and then he he's VIP at school this week so they get to like bring things in and so he wants to bring his hockey bag with all his goalie gear. Cheetos actually both. You can't bring like all your hockey geared school like the whole huge the he could fit in his hockey bag. It's like enormous and just the fight this morning and I started crying because I was like because I also have a two year old. Who's like demands a lot? And he's obsessed with me which I love but it demands a lot of time and attention. I also am a wife. I also have a career I also have. Ms Like you said like I've got a lot of ro does Bo do. When he sees you cry on his knees holding my face telling me he loves me so sad. That the trigger. He needs to see that. You're really hurting. He's really upset you before he could just kind of take it easy. Yeah so he's pushing every button until I I got her. So there's some psychology there. He knows that I'm GonNa go and when she starts crying then I'm maybe you don't normally I don't I I try not to but like today I lost it i. He was rattled by it. Was it a good cry? Like what can I do? He was just more like a hat. Like just my head down in my hands and like I could feel him like hovering over me like tabbies. Are you crying? And I'm like yes dude like. Have you ever too much? How hard is some crime? Because I'm talking you. I didn't say I was out though I wouldn't do it but I'm sure Sandler come. Outta me every once in a while. You know if I'd go would you just tell you that's Farley saying that we'll be like had something we could have talked about. You know I was right but you said something. I'm GonNa read one because I was trying to stay. Stay focused in which he's saying. I want to hear it but also I'm GONNA go back about three and a half minutes and you said that I do. I have the annoying kid is at the. I have been around parents. Then I'm like are you fucking blind and death that you can't see what a mark your fucking kid is looking to my house and I do. I had a kid in my house once. Yeah I mean with other families. That sounds weird. I had a kid my house once and what not like that timeframe time I remember those kit over with this bomb or something and the kid has a Let's say a a a knack for fucking shit up. Oh and he and I think he doesn't purpose And I happen to be behind this kid one time. While he was walking around my house I just happen to be walking behind him. At the time I was like I was in following the child. I had this Lord. The rings chess set. Don't ask me why but have it anti let me. Just stop for a second. When he looked over to any backhanded all the places and walked on and I go hey and he turned around and I go. What the heck was that about man? He's like dude look. You don't not people stuff over you. Don't do that stuff. Yeah all right. You don't do that in someone else's house. I'm sure you don't do it in your own house. That's not cool. Nobody likes that kid right. I like you. You're a good kid but right now that kind of crap people aren't going to like you so don't do that something like that and he just he just like this that look that you know but I wanted to make sure you to like it was they were they. Did they notice that he was doing this? She didn't say anything that's issue. I don't like when parents are so into like being around other adults like trust me. I get it when it's like a reprieve but like also be responsible for your kid like my husband and I. I'm very grateful cutter and I are like super on top of our kids. Home Every Cutter Bowed Jack. Who family. You're aware I'm very aware I say thank you when you gave out to him like. I'm I'm that MOCHA. That's good him because I know he hears it. I know it'll click one day like I know. Let me say this. Bo is his worst at home when he's with other people and other adults he's great and I think I guess I would rather it be that way than him being like you know addict other kids an other adults. No no not at all. I'm so grateful that this country really kind kids to the point where he gets upset. He won't watch the Samlot anymore or mighty ducks because he doesn't like when kids are being mean to other kids. That's a good thing because he's liking things like that and animals being killed. That's that's on your way to being a surrogate right now. He's not a serial killer. I think it's important. I mean the show the Love I love you but there's also like I think that again I'm not a father and everybody listening is probably GonNa be like. Do you know what you're talking about. But I'm just telling you what I would do theoretically theoretically if my kid. We went to another house and I saw him doing stuff. I would tell him before we got there. I want you to have a great time. No wanted enjoy or something but I'm telling you right now if you do something and I say stop and you continue on. Are you break something you knock something? We're just going. There's not GonNa be no dad please. You'RE GONNA start crying and be upset but we're going and the only you're only gonNA learn if I do that if I put my foot down and we leave the party. I'm upset because we had to leave Europe set and the next time we go to a party. Maybe your dumb ass won't do it again. And that's how I feel Barium with Love I love you. I'm proud of you. You'll never be stupid in my eyes. Just be honest. Be The best you can be you know things. I didn't hear but you know these things are important but also like in my phone. Chris was telling me once he's like man. These kids nowadays. Nobody smacks orgasmic smack in the ASS. You can't talk about that shit man. My deb busted my ass. And he's like. Oh Yeah my dad busted my ass every once in a while and you know what I didn't do shit again. I learned a smack on the ASS. People don't talk about it now. I got paddled in school. Now that's bad because that's embarrassing. I got spanked in hit for her. Yeah I think most kids are generation. Did what he thirty eight. Yeah Yeah do research me or something. I'm thirty eight but yeah no but no. You can't do that now. Get another kids kit adults. Kid I know you know saying you know. It's like you can coach Bell. I bet you'd like bow or I play hockey so I want you. Did you'd love when I got in this room. I was like he would lie. He has whenever my husband goes out of town. I go out of town like to for us to feel better about our guilt of being away gets a New Jersey. So He's has seventeen hockey jerseys right now. His little collection get them on. Oh that's good. I'll tell you what team doesn't have. I don't know I have to look causes Burns e. It's one of my good buddy sharks. I mean I'm not saying it's like sign. He has like ones that he wears jerseys and he would wear okay injuries he has. He has three Rangers. Ones all right so listen while while you've been away because it's been a while you have you been working a lot. I actually quit acting in between though I quit acting for a year. You quit acting when you're having the second child that's when you quit but you've been going on lately right. I just started back again in the summer. Now how hard is that with a family and dealing with them ass and getting cast and people knowing the situation one? Can I do this and the studios going Khun Jamie do this? Can she get through the scenes can? Are they patient people nice? How does that even work? It's hard enough to get an acting job share but when you have something that you're like well this is part of me. Yeah I'm still grappling with like walking into an audition room like owning it. Do you know what I mean. Because it's out there. People know it is what it is. Because you're so open and that's only so only the past couple of years. I mean I wasn't for a long time. Well let me take it back so I I quit acting because I kinda just needed to give myself a chance to see if I gave a fuck anymore about it. You know sometimes you can get in the grind and like the hamster wheel of it and you're like way we liked. I know I love it when I'm doing it but I don't love the getting the job part like I don't love auditioning I don't love the stress of it all and I was just like you know I got two kids. I have a lot of my plate like I need to really see if I love this. I'm going to step away from it for a little while and I thought that my wraps were going to be like so supportive because a lot of the times I think and it's my own thing I guess but I just assume that people still want to work with me because I'm nice and they but not because of any value of like my talent or anything from the same shit we all do like. We're not good enough. But they like me. Of course. You're good enough. Well when I had my manager I thought a truly thought my manager is going to be like. I support this game I love. You didn't support you. He was like fuck. No you're not quitting. I'm GONNA give you a few weeks and then you're gonNA call me now but I but it was a year and he kept calling and kept calling in. I was like not yet not yet and I had this moment. Where sitting on the floor with my kids and it was like a nice moment. Everyone was playing nicely like nothing was wrong and it was like my breath got taken away and I was like I am not cut out to be a stay at home. Mom like there is. I have to honor that. There's other shit I still WANNA do your holy fuck so I went back to acting class. 'cause I wanted to see I'm like okay. I had that moment but like I want to get back in this grind. Ceo In class. So you didn't jump back auditioning back. Wait a minute. I haven't been in an acting class of even scarier beyond everybody's Twani and amazingly gorgeous just moved to La and like you know and then options in an acting class. Because it's been awhile since I've been acting but do you like the Guinea scenes. You have to memorize them since you hadn't done it in a year. How long did it take you do it during nap? Sarah like you know when the kids went to bed and I took it super seriously and I I loved that I wasn't great at first like I was a little rusty and I. I see these kids in there. That like shut down when they start getting like Direction or or redirection like these literally these are like they're like But me I'm like. Ah Ah okay yeah other way. Oh Yeah you're right. I do do that like I love being dissect do this for. I'm still in it. How long has this been almost a year? In April I went back into acting class and then I got my first job in June and then I work straight from June all the way till now. I did this really fun and everything was offer. I don't know what happened with the universe because I told you I fucking hate auditioning and I can't remember the last time to be honest. I booked anything from an audition but everything it just kept coming in like I did a little movie and then I did this. Sitcom for adult swim with Tim and Eric. The comedians and had a great time during doing that. And then Tim and Eric I go. I don't know if you would know listening and I know you need odd now. Fuck Yeah I do know them. Yeah I do know that. A bunch of indies. I did a TV movie and then another one. In the night I finish the year in December. I literally work back to back to back to back which was kind of insane to go from like not working at all to like not stop working. But there's almost what I needed to get back in the swing of things and understand that like my kids still love me. They don't feel neglected. I hate the word balance but I can do both and then the last thing I did was the short film in December and it was the most gratifying acting experience of my entire life. It's the short film called. I'm on fire with the director Michael Spooky A- and it was like just fucking greedy. I've never done a short before where it took twelve days to shoot twelve minutes like if you think about like the the detail that shot and it was amazing. You've done that without the acting class. Sure I could have done it. Maybe not as well. You wouldn't have been as good. Learn your lines as fast because you know. I think it's just more of like feeling rooted and like I don't know I'm come from the school of like I don't. I don't feel comfortable getting something unless I worked for it so it feels like I'm doing my work so I feel like I belong there more. Not only that but I think you know. Will there an actor but like it's almost like they when when you get hired? Just let's just hire Michael Rosenbaum. Let's hire Jamie Lynn. Sigler and you get hired. I don't know exactly what they want me to do right. And so then you're hired and then all of a sudden you're doing it and if you've had auditioned and got it then they're like oh well whatever I did. That's what they want so I'm just going to do that. It's kind of weird like this. I don't exactly know what you want to do. All righty so there could be like that. Yes and then to also reference like the whole Ms Conversation of it all in order for me to feel comfortable. I have to have like the same conversation with everyone. I'm about to work with which is like. Here's my limitations. What are they can't run high heels or hard walking long distances? I'm going to start to limp So like keeping the shots shorter mornings or better. No no I have full energy like. Fortunately it doesn't affect me cognitively energy wise. Not Everything's just kind of the waist down and it's just more gets tired if I sit and rest and I'll always tell you anything I've never ever needed a break. Never told anyone I needed a break. Because I'm not trying to be a superhero. I just haven't and then directors and people are willing to work around it so I've been very fortunate you know I I still feel like a burden and I still feel bad that I have to have that conversation and I'm comforted every time and being like pleased Jamie. Everybody has something like this is no big deal. We can figure this out. That's not it sounds you really strong. Because I wish I could have these conversations about my own things beforehand so that hey listen Insecurities about myself and like I found this. Or if I'm that nice to do that. Listen Man Yeah you never get hired like what this guy's nervous gets anxiety attacks. Those good. Maybe because all of my energy is channeled and focusing on my physicality of everything ever notice. Do you ever notice when you're watching it apart all the time that walk right there because of the hate it? Which is why I don't watch myself. Time goes with close up or can you cut in now. I've never gotten the balls to do that. I assume that they're going to do. It looks best and I trust them but I catch it. And it's a bummer. It's and sometimes it's like you know I can feel like I'm doing great and like there's still something there and it's it's like. I don't know it's a reality check. It's it's it's it's not the most fun for me you know because I also you know when I'm not working in mom ing like all of my our sitting here with you. I'm you know like really heavily focused on fighting this all time and trying to get as well as I can and and you know right now what we're talking you fighting it. No I'm relaxed. You are nothing about you right now that you're feeling nothing. There's nothing abnormal now. And you take medications aside twice a year and then I have year will like an intravenous chemotherapy twice a year. And just like an immunosuppressive. It's well the only ms meds that are really out. There are ones that suppress the disease. So slow it down. I've been stable for over nine years with no changes and changes Y I feel confident working to because it's not I tell them like it's not like I'm going to wake up one day and like not be able to move or this or that like the Miami is not that sometimes I wish it was relapse remitting so I could have really great days. And then be like Oh. This is bad day but I guess if I had to choose it would much some is like this is how it is because then I guess that is more of a crap shoot bit like our friends. Selma Blair she's she's in a different level. She has a very different disease than me. And it is. I mean it's hers as remitting but hers affects her like soon. It's it's heartbreaking. So there's heartbreaking different levels of this disease it's not just everybody who has it has the same thing that everybody who has the same so people could live long the short and think you know that's just the way it is and so you. Have you ever thought of like why show I watch myself? I'm going to do the best work I can't because you kind of want to see yourself and see the work you did most of the time. Don't watch myself. Did you used to know actually. Well Yeah I mean. I get nervous to what I've never actually never. I've only seen the first season of Sopranos. And then the first episode of every season and the last very last episode. I think I get a will. That's because I got MS closely. After not that I was symptomatic at all but I think it's just it just got in my head and I just also to like I like in class. I love somebody else. Picking apart my acting that has perspective but I just feel like I don't have proper perspective on myself right. Why put my side much rather watch like Vander? Pump rules than that would you? I commend you. Have a choice. You don't feel like I have. I don't feel like I don't feel like I need like applause for the way I do. You know what I mean like I just feel like I truly feel like if anyone was in my position. They would do the same things as me I do. I'd like to believe that because I have kids be. I have dreams and like I'm thirty eight like I don't WanNa throw it all in you know I just. I don't know I try. I tried it and you told you I sat in. The thoughts can't do it. I bet it was when you first diagnosed with all this. Going through your probably. They're probably a lot of days. You're like fuck it. I don't even want to do anything I'm just I could. I have every right to. I've every excuse in the book. I think that's what I've become very conscious of lately was like I am done. Ms To be an excuse like it's it's a very easy. Have I use it like out of sex and things like that? I sure but like you know like in times when my husband's like hey and I'm like I can't be them so tired. My legs hurt like Benham. Lying weeding imitated my husband. Ms Just to ask them m s so you just keep with letters. I WanNa F. M. F. Sweetie I guess I'm SNF. I choose not to do that because it's way too easy and I don't I told you I like to work for things. So that's the easy route. I mean I think it's with with anything else. I mean if like he's probably I don't know if this analogy is GonNa Work Ryan Journey. Whenever I look at Ryan I always know something's not gonNa work. We'll cut it out if it doesn't yeah well like depression like anxiety. I don't know I think that if you let it get the best of you if you're just like I give up. I'm just GonNa let this anxiety ruined my life and I'm GonNa let this depression takeover and I'm not going to get help but I'm not gonNA exercise like Ms Obviously Ms. You can't get rid of but you could control something you can at least be the best version of yourself. You could feel the best that you can feel by doing the things that you know. We'll help or the things because rolling over and just saying fuck it. You're going to deteriorate if you just didn't exercise and you didn't do this mentally this would debilitate you more and the disease would become more so I think that's the same thing with depression. You don't go see a doctor you. Don't you know if you're drinking caffeine at eleven o'clock at night you're going to these anxiety is gonNA take over? I've seen this happen with me right so it's a matter. Let yourself feel though like I definitely let myself have days where unlike this fucking sucks. I'm sad I'm angry. Just cry sometimes yes I have to. I'd explode inside of US. Brought to you by squarespace space. That's right I you know squarespace. It's just you know I'm not. You're a little more creative than I am. We've talked about this but you know I you are come on well especially in the art world now like drawing art not. I'm talking about creating a beautiful website. You could probably do that with with the proper template and everything I could. I don't even know what a template is still outline. Turn your cool idea into a new website showcase your work. How many people have these ideas? And they're like I don't even know what to do. And then the idea all of a sudden you see somebody else two months later and they get the idea and they do it they would. You know what they did. They go to squarespace and they figure it out. Blog or published content sell products and services of all kinds of promote your physical or online business announcing upcoming event or special product. And more what I like. Squarespace does pretty much everything for you in so many ways they give you these beautiful as you say. Templates created by world-class designers powerful ECOMMERCE functionality. Lets you sell anything online? Customized the look feel settings and more with just a few clicks built in search engine optimization free insecure hosting twenty four seven award winning customer support. Nothing the patch or upgrade. Ever make it yourself easily. Create a website by yourself. Make it stand out. Make it so stand out with a beautiful website. It's all so you have to do head to squarespace dot com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code I oh you to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com. Enter Code I oh you know it's funny I'm about to do something called. Amd are have you ever heard of it? How was it? Em Dr. It's like APP rapid eye movement. It's so everybody who listens to me knows I went to a wellness center like Last year yeah I just wanted to feel better and get better and all these things and you know I had some. I think what happens is a lot of people have traumas and they don't know what they don't really know how severe they are for instance when I heard about. Mdr Her they give this to Vets people who fought in wars have seen the worst things that none of us can even imagine and I think oh well it's it works for them because that's real trauma my traumas not real your traumas. It can't be. That's what I thought. It was a respect thing. It was like no these soldiers die. They see death all around them. And what the therapist is trying to tell me? It was like stop. We're trying to make you better and you probably had some trauma. And if he did we'll get to the bottom bottom of an so. I was in this room and I WANNA try this. Amd ARE I. Don't feel like how now just it's not right for me. It's for vets and she's like we start talking and thirty minutes. Jamie while she starts talking to me and she goes I What about the MDR? She's Oh yeah. We're not going to do that. And I go right for that so I got it and then we start talking about stuff and then next session ago the asks over not going to get into the emt our stuff. I mean why would we? I mean there's nothing here. Yeah I'm telling you she's like yeah we're not gonNA like he and the and then we start talking and then she goes. I'm just talking about a moment and I was talking to you. I suddenly went and then I was just like boom and then this happened. I don't want to say it but like and it's not as bad as you said I don't WanNa call anybody out but you know I just had this moment where I just i. It was this role it was the I mean I could see it. And if you're looking at me telling the story on like actresses little boy I was just like you know and do and then and then she goes. I think you're ready and go for. What do you want to do this and I go look at that moment? You just had right there. I'd like to explore that and I go no. I don't even know what to do to stop. You don't have to control everything you don't have to do. This is just just try this okay. And she came over to me so sweet and so calm because I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think of this moment. I just want to stay in this moment. Think of it and when you open your eyes my finger is going to go like this. Don't turn your head with it. I want you to just with your eyes back and forth and you just follow my finger and you think of that moment. Walk you through it and I said okay so I close my eyes and she goes okay. I wanted to go back there and I took as long as I needed. I was rushed like I showed my is now. She's probably ready for me to do this. You know what I mean and I opened them and she okay now just follow my finger staying at home and I'm telling you I went from. I don't know two is too hysterical. Like overwhelming emotion came over me. I couldn't almost makes me emotional thinking about because of how emotionally was like she has Are you know no this? This feels good. I feel I just I duNno. She's okay closure is only did it again and we did it again and like four or five times and I'm not telling you where you can go. I'm saying don't control your mind when you do it but I ended up at a place where that moment. It's not that that moment was just gone. It's not that moment was Wasn't real or it was as though which he says it. Sometimes it's like you knock down a tree. It's like this big tree that you're knocking down and all these other little motions that play into that emotion so prince it was some kind of abuse or for some kind of like neglect. Whatever it was deaf if you had other moments in your life even though you didn't talk about those moments it's almost like little trees start to fall down because when you get to the root of what. The problem is a lot of those things you you're able to let go and what happens is. I didn't know this she goes. I want you to think that moment closure is thinking that moment boom boom boom boom boom boom and I go I go. I'm sorry but I just I just can't really can't get there. You can get there. I go no. It's I duNNo. It's like I know that moments there but I can't get to that moment like a can't and what I found was as the days went on even now whenever I think of that moment if I tried to which I don't but if I try I know it's there but it's like it doesn't affect me like that anymore. It just doesn't it science. It fucking works. I know you've read about it and people who have had trauma I think if you're willing to talk about it and fine and by the way this was this wasn't like this is the moment. I want to work on right out of the blue that we were talking. I just go this. She goes to talk about that. I go that. Oh that could affect. Oh my God that affect me as a kid so all I say be open. It may not work right away. You may not do it right away. I feel like you're no comparison. You've been much I feel like you're going to you're going to see. I was going to say that I have like I feel like you know me. Well you'd probably one of the last things you would describe me as as an angry person right angry. He was angry at all. I have so much anger inside of me and I don't know why and that's what led me into finding. Amd are and like finding a vetted person that. I'm going to start with next week because I'm like. What the fuck is this anger? And obviously I do all this type of reading disease and like the emotional components of it in the causes the root causes. Because you know some people believe that diseases manifested from trauma and emotions that are stuck in your body and anger. Shame and guilt are associated with ms and those are three things that deal with. And I don't know why so after next week and we'll see from posted. WanNa Know Watch. I'm going to be like running marathons and I've done it. You know I remember when I was doing the. Mdr There was one of the sessions. Where only one session that? I really the other ones I forced. I tried to get nine there. Yeah what I needed to do is let that moment takeover and go and that was enough and I'd like to do it again when I'm ready I'd like to do and I think there are a lot of things that is there That need to be taken care of that. Need to be let out now. Yeah but I remember there was one thing is i. I remember going up because I'm not a fucking idiot. I was like like yelling. Not Yelling screaming. Of course. I'm fucking smart. Of course some this how could I possibly? I was almost validating myself. Of course how. Would you be successful like this? How could you do this if you weren't you think you're that stupid like I'm almost telling this little boy? You're not you're all these things that you're not. How could you have gone on and done all these things being dumb and being like all these it was crazy? I was like it was truly 'cause I know it's it's sad but it's also like these are the things you have to have to face these things because you don't face them if you don't get them out then what's the point then you live in the rest of your life and you're not being the best. You pre call with a therapist. She was telling me that pre come my clothes some serious to pre come good. She was telling me she's like you know when you see. Adults have road rage or their reactive. That's not the adult in them reacting. It's the child so healing that trauma heels behavior that you have now that you just feel like is just you know. Sorry I just have road rage or I just have this or I have that you don't have to have that. That's something that was learned or some something happened to you that I got it from my dad watching my older watching them on the road. I remember my dad driving. Oh eat me. You know screaming initiative. Quattro you're going asked all like you see this as a kid you. I got her. Has It for sure his dad it? I mean. Oh my God Lenny Dykstra FARC see in jail. No we don't have contact with Lenny right now but he I sometimes I'm like I'll catch a tweet or two and I saw something where he was like. It's been something amount of months since I've been arrested. So that guy was like everybody's hero you know he needs. Mdr maybe he's a lot of things. He's not act. When I first met Lenny. Do we talk about this before? But he did probably listening watching because you know why I met him right before he went into jail. It's when I first started dating like three weeks into dating. And His dad went unexpectedly to jail. He thought he was going for a court date and literally was coughed and sent to jail. Bet a dark moment to go through with your new Bo. You know and so then he was in jail for about a year and a half and when he came out we had a son and he was wonderful. I loved sitting and talking with him. I loved hearing him talk about baseball with cutter and just he was reserved and kind a good listener. And then you know just life happens and like certain habits. Start to come back in. I think when you know the persona of nails and what people want and he's trying to give people what they want but live this life and I think it just kind of caught up and then I saw kind of him change. And it was a bummer. But I still think of. That's who I met is who lineas. It's the other that changes him. I will never say a bad thing about him. I think it's the right choice right now for like sure us not to have contact but I do if my kids ever asked me about. Who they're by is I'll say he was great. He was great at the real side. You know in a lot of times. It is a persona and it's something that you like. This is what they WANNA see. This is what I'm so used to playing that. The vulnerable side just seems like a pussy. I can't do this. I can't talk about that I just want to be. You know top people good people bad people and I just think that's fucked up. I think everybody is light and dark. Everybody has good and bad. Everyone just has choices and everybody is weaknesses and sometimes the other side wins. The other side loses you know he is. Some of us are not strong enough to fight those. How hard is it though I have to Maj? I can't even imagine cutter goes through. It's it's hard it's sad. I mean I had to be tough. It had to be tough I. It was something that was significant enough that he had to draw the line and it was released that for him and really sad for me and it was almost like he had to mourn his dad. Do you know what I mean. It was almost like was he scared of his father. I'm sure there was some level of that. I mean he's an intimidating guy and like especially when it was like come to talk around like baseball and this yeah I mean. I'm sure Lenny especially I think in the darker days where lenny like wasn't sleeping and when they lost their fortune. I think that was a very scary time for Jesus. It's crazy talking about this stuff man. I still don't see you with it. You know it's funny. You say you have his anger issues. If you lined up ten one knows it obviously you steal it. We know when I'm acting it's like my first choice that I wanted to use as like anger so I know it's simmering in there by the way it's funny say that because you'll never see me lose my shit but when you heap. My brother wants Eric by the way. My brother is always has my back. Says he was an nights? Yeah Eric's great but once the van and I was really hungry and that's one thing when I'm hungry I just gotta eat so I tell you Jamie we should. He probably half an hour. You Call it that I'm hungry and even if you're not hungry ago yeah if you're hungry you should eat. I know you're right and then it's an hour and it's an hour and a half now my brother. It wasn't even that it was time. It was so defiant I remember specifically. He's driving and I'm in the backseat. Hey Dude just stop at Jack in the box man. I'm just GonNa get a quick Spicy Chicken Jack and surprise curly's and he's like no just dismissive and I go. I go seriously though. I'm really hungry. I thought it was go up. You know I'm really hungry. So just know we gotta get in the road man. I know dude. I'm really hungry and kept going. He was listening to me like a past got on there. We go dude I told you I'm I WANNA get something to eat. And you're just like yeah. We're not going to do that right now. And Dude next thing you know. There is a football for some reason. There's a football in the van and it just goes right by his head. I try. I tried to fucking hit him. Joe Montana I would've fucking popped him in his fucking head. But I mean if somebody pushes your buttons you fucking when Cutter Will Not Stop. Like Ping like he can key gets on things and then doesn't stop. I lose my show me your temper. I can't visit scare no. It's not scary. It's almost funny. It's almost like comical. I think when I get angry people laugh because I look ridiculous like I'm not somebody that's like a good angry. I'm like I get like very rigid and like I'm like. Why is this happening like yet like we were fighting last night about something and I was like and he he he realized I was right and he I was looking at him being like? Can you apologize and he was staring the TV being like. I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry I was like no. He's like I said I'm sorry what more you want. It was like if you don't look at me and say you're sorry I don't buy that. You're sorry like how will you accept an apology staring at fucking apple? Tv? Look at me that means. Thank you know what I have to say. I'm not saying in the chauvinistic way but it's kind of like if I was cut her I might be like we had after I looked at. She's kind of a feisty said I was like I'm still going to have sex with you after this. You have to look at me and apologize like I was like and then I did the whole thing here. Look look at me and pretend I did something kind of fucked up to you and I'm going to look at the TV and just be like sorry cutter right. I'm sorry I was like. Do you feel apologized to now. Does he did learn from that. So the next thing. He looks at you and goes. Hey I'm sorry he's called me so much from work today so I think so so. This happened recently last night. This was last night I freaked out and then and then bow pissed you off this morning. Yes so you've had a rough morning and evening cancer podcast. No I would. What do you mean this is like witching hour afternoon with both my kids? I'm so happy to be here. This is therapy to isn't it? Be Ha- I love seeing you. It's really great seeing you. It's great seeing. You have podcast. I've to okay. That wasn't in my notes. I Have Mama said which is. It's a year old. I do it with my friend Jenna. And it's all about like the ups and downs of parenting. Not just mom. We just have Bob Sagi- our guest this week. Launched is a potty mouth. He was fucking awesome. I mean he is equal parts dirty ass comic and like so reflective and kind of smarts. Very smart is a wonderful guest. So that I have Momma said and then I have my newer baby. Podcast called Pajama Pants. Deal with Robert Mueller. Who played my brother and Sopranos and our friend Kassim Ans- new and that's new. We're like twenty one episode twenty two episodes in we just had Dr drew on the doctor. Perfect for the show Dr Drew. You can just three or four times and I can't get the fuck. I don't know how to get in touch with them. He knows somebody the email I don't know how we he drove all the way to our like our garage studio and like Silverlake all the way in the east side like so. If we can get you can get him. It was an amazing gas. Great I remember when I was doing love lines like hey is it true if like right after sex if you P probably won't get a disease he's like that's retarded way. He didn't say retarded by the way I told most folks but you know rob is people. Just think like key. They haven't heard from him in a while. But Rob Has Been Sober for almost seven years. I mean but he had a major drinking problem and then opioid an benzoate addiction and he kicked it and he's wonderful and then Kassim had some drinking issues and then there's me so like we're three very different people that we talked about nothing. Yes by what kind of sparked this was they were like. Can you ask your friend by the way? You didn't text me back. Not they were like. Can you help your friend? Ask Your friend Michael Rosenbaum and I was like yeah. I Texted Union. Didn't write me back talking about a liar. I now commie out as another son. We hadn't submitted text from an hour ago by. I did text you. Maybe not about that. Your question was will you come on? Are How long time no speak so rob liar? Eyler hyler who played my brother and Sopranos lives here now. You're doing a podcast together as well. But he mentioned to me that he loves yours if you ever want him on. I'm happy to introduce you guys. And then yesterday I said see tomorrow man it's I. I didn't respond. I thought I'd either come here because he's actually allergic to dogs. But I I really of course I wanted to do this. I thought they responded. This is back I mean. Of course I do your pockets. I'll be on the morals but we'll figure it out you know you'll come on so yes. I Have Pajama Pants. And it's so funny. We talk about all kinds of crazy shit. You love it. I love it. Isn't it cool? It is cool. It's a really I look forward to that like. It doesn't have zero expectations when I go into either of them. Do you know what I mean. It's not about a result when you podcast. It's so nice to have conversation and I'm getting better because I always sit around going. I don't and I always start talking. That's what part is listen in on. This is what you and I would have talked about if we sat down for lunch. Probably a million percent. So that's what people get listen in an intimate conversation. Yes almost exactly. This is not any different than you know. Yeah isn't that crazy? Yeah I there's something about it that to me is just honest and innocent and pure and just cool and people actually listen. No like do this touch my life. The interview Jimmy Lin opening up about her life and this and just like Oh my God gave me hope. And I listen to PODCASTS IN MY CAR. I never use it. If somebody says you'RE GONNA make a ton of money doing this. Podcast dodger fulltime. No Oh I know look. What's the money was a ton of Money Ryan? What what couple million dollars a year? I'll give you a million dollars anymore. No a million cash. No yeah but but you can't act. I saw would enjoy my life though so acting. You enjoy it yes. Long Hours I don't mind it. I think it's more if I'M I. I really want a job in La. You know what I want. I want to be in a fucking Sitcom for the next few years just because my kids a little. Isn't that the dream job? Do you like multi staff know. Why just the just that I hate to say this because I'm GonNa Sound like a Dick done it before. I just think it's it's not than those deep where I just think it's people love it. So what what do I know? Big Bang theory is a huge hit. Millions of love it they make millions of what is my opinion matter. My opinion is I just. It's like what is it. What am I doing here? That's right. No little substance acting so yeah I mean I am directing. Yeah Morgan on stuff. I went through stuff. I told you the treatment thing I was not feeling well. I had neck surgery so now I'm getting stronger voice and I'm working on that and I'm figuring out what what I want done as yet stop is a show that I wrote and I just got a great show runner. Who's really amazing? I can't say anything but we'RE GONNA start pitching that animated series that were pitching and so there's a lot of things that I'm creating you know but I do. I do love acting if it could be just like. Hey so you're just going to act from twelve to four today. That's why I love sitcoms. Well here's the thing. Sitcom that you're doing in front of a live studio audience and that to me that's too much nervous. It's nerve-racking change around thirty five pages. Memorize all this shit. It scares me man I used. I used to love it but now I don't know if used to love it. There's just something I like. The you're right it's easiest schedule if that's how your mind going home for bedtime every night except for mom would fucking love. It's come home and great sitcoms. Are there anymore not many how many I have not I don't know TV? Hardly are they. Ryan like Moldy Candy? I don't know what they are. Your mother was that people like that. That that's been a while okay. Yeah finished finished to entertainers dead. Big Bang theory scars the ship. Those these what he's memorizing every week. Fuck the whole week to practice. Changing lines up 'til Thursday night. His muscle is strong. He's got that muscle. He's got that lucky thing. Where drives me up a fucking wall along you and I will never talk a heart attack at ramp so much fun you but I'd rather do like a horror movie and there for three months rather do Even what else? That's a half hour like the one I wrote something like. Hey let's go for three or four months for the rest of the year you WanNa streaming yeah net flicks sin episodes. You're bust my ass. No all the stuff before I get there a moment. Just do this and then boom. That's that's the dream putting it out there. I'm just saying that's what I'd love to do it. I was on that. Show and pastor is great last great. It was great. I it and I love the people I just got cancelled apetit seasons and that would have been great for six years seven years. Yeah but like when you get older. It's harder to do certain things. I'm getting close to fifty six one hour when people say. Hey what you do. A one hour drama. Twenty two episodes of year they commitment. I don't want to do it and look again if I had to feed a fucking family. I'm a single loser here. If I had a family if I had I mean I do support some of my family but if I had to work like like that I would do anything. There's nothing I wouldn't do if I had to work. I would work at McDonald's I've worked at McDonalds I worked at a go-cart place. I was a mechanic and a go. Kart track mechanic in college. I worked at a at a roller rink. I was the DJ at a rolling. I work at a grocery store. Mcdonald's they were. I worked at a telemarketing. I show all the incarnations Michael Rosa. I'm looking lucky I'd I'd like to when I was talking about the podcast if I if I can. I'd like to just sit in this room all day and just talk to people who are more interesting like you. You know finally not more interesting right. You're interesting kind of. Are you always interesting? Well no actually not. This is the most I talked to. My power isn't that this is the most you've talks about what it is. I think it is Bingo night tomorrow night very excited more excited about TACO. I love the talk of having a TACO truck. I told my friends I said listen. Here's the deal. I said fifteen bucks. All you can eat tacos includes everything in my cleanup shit bringing extra five bucks for Bingo night. We have thirty people coming for big game of Bingo for real money about a really expensive. Bingo this is life sometimes podcasts. Bingo I'm with you I just wanted you know what it is. I want to do things because I really want to have fun and nome have fun doing them. There's an element of fun in there Do it. I don't care if I make money. You're not it's fun game nights anymore. I haven't done game night in a while. We have art night. He'll come over and drawn stuff. I'm not good. It doesn't matter it's not about being great. It's about being in the moment how we're going to do here now and there's so many things here you my therapist called about you know she. She says you're always should should be shutting on yourself. You're always shouting on yourself. Rosenbaum shooting like should I should I do that? Should do? Should on yourself. My Dad the one piece of advice that always rings in my head from Dad is always limit. Your Shoulda Woulda Coulda as so no. I don't should've all the time I I ended up taking chances. I like that about you. you strength training to stay strong strength training. Really help with the mess. Yeah I love feeling strong while I might have mobility issues still a little bit or balance issues I. I like seeing muscles on my body. Does it help pain? Go Away the strength or does it make you. Don't have pain. You just have like lack of control sometimes of certain things your body does Yep so no pain. I mean well look you know what maybe if somebody else was in my body. They'd think this was painful. I don't you baffle me. Woman you baffle me. Because I mean I know you say everybody would be strong. But you're just you know what it is. I think you're just so beautiful inside a noun so nice see you said thank you now. Look at me. I'm not so nice thank you do. I mean because I look at you and it's you are you're just you are. I know you say you have English. I know you say you have things that you need to work on an MD are on. You're working in your subject trying to be the best. You can feel the best you can be. And that's the whole game bright. That's the that's what you have to do but also to have that attitude. I think that maybe that's your parents or something. I don't know because you're really good friends. You know for my thirty six th birthday. I came home to find all my friends in my backyard. Sitting in a circle unlike blankets and they literally went around the circle to tell me how they felt about me. It was the most magical moment still to this day of my life and all of a basically at the end it was. They all just like we wish you could see yourself the way we see you. And that's what I try. I mean I'm still not there. Trust me but like that's I was even thinking that is you're telling me this I was like I wish I could digest what he saying to me right now and believe it wholeheartedly but maybe as humans. We we really do that are some people can. And it's amazing. I just I try to. I appreciate what you're saying. I wish I could believe it about myself for sure of yourself You know it's like I think about like what my legacy would be for my kids and I think that they would always say like she was always. She always tried her best. And I think that's all anyone can do right so I guess I love myself for that. I'm hard on myself from harder myself every day. I mean I'm I'm I'm very. I'm good at separating I understand what's my ego and what's not Egos very mean to me. And so I. I've been dealing with that my whole life and I have the awareness. Now it still sucks but That's why I'm like you know I'm working on it. I'm figuring trying but like you're crying I don't WanNa make you sad and happy. You know what else really as healthy as is. We'd we'd be. Yeah like every night like it's my I didn't I didn't smoke. Toss thirty four. Well no big weed smoker either. But I wasn't or is it into the time of day. I don't smoke during the day from with my kids. Certain brand or something that they like. Lower farms okay. They make these joints so it's like just a little bit for me. They also have these hemp ones. That don't get you high. Get so fucking creative on them off. Okay hang on a second. Will you write this down attack? Nick Semisi why I am teared up here because I thought I imagined I tried them. What you said was so profound. How beautiful is it that your friends sat you? Yeah sat with you around you telling you all the reasons you should love yourself the things that you don't see and I have a feeling like I. I I feel like you and I are similar like that I just like. I don't think that great. I really don't matter how much I say. Oh Yeah I'm GonNa do charity and I'm willing to do this. I sit there and say all these things and I do. I really am trying to be better and I'm trying to be a good person. I'm trying to for me but I don't know if I I wish everyone could have what I had that night. I think if everyone can have at least once in their adult life it was you know it was cool to as my son sat there and watched it all. But you cry. I was fucking man. Everyone did yeah I think he did. He's not an easy crier. But but I think he did Jon Jon Cryer. Is Jon Cryer? I always say things like I'm going to go. I got Christian. Bale we gotTA GET OUTTA here. God Jon Cryer. Used names as verbs fat Any what was the one that you remember the most when someone was sitting there in your backyard that night and telling you could see you know what was the one that resonates who's not like emotional doesn't cry. She's like the Party girl. She's like the fun girl she looked at me and she's like. I know you opt out of so many things because you think you're going to slow us down and she's like but if you could only know that it's like honor to hold you up like it would be an honor to give you a piggyback at Coachella or or stagecoach like you always say like I'm not going to go 'cause I don't WanNa sleep guys down in the truth and she's like it would boot early. Nothing would make me happier than to throw you on my back and have you experienced that with me and that really hit me and I just home so sweet so sweet so sweet. I have really good. Friends have added all these tears. Come and do that. I mean I cry every once in a while habent. We'll it's not just about me. It's just about like really great. Humans that took their time that night and I think that's I think that's beautiful. I think everybody should do that with the way they didn't intend to do that. They thought they were just going to sit around. And we thought we were going to do a met my friend Ryan. Who's like this? He's just like God to me. He's like changed my life the day. I met him Kind of like a life coach waking up with Ryan followed him. He's the greatest human He was gonNA leave like a meditation and he said he's like I'm just going to begin by telling Jamie what she means to me and then somebody else went like oh. I want to tell her. And then that's what it turned into. I think what also it wasn't like a forced situation like everybody think of what you're gonna say to Jamie so everything was like just like quick like a people would just be like. Oh I want to say this to you so it was an very inspired moment happened very naturally because I would be horrified if people like. We're all GonNa sit around and tell you how we love you. I'd be like Oh my God Nanna now. I'd rather get you stoned. Let's eat a Ralph's cake and like just like you know old school. So that's a beautiful thing so if you're listening I mean if I mean I think that's important. What would you do if you know on your birthday or something? Everybody just kind of sit around and say hey man copy of course read and said I want you to know of this about you and just opened up about you. I would say you're full of Shit no I mean that'd be Really Nice. I mean that sounds like I don't. I don't know when I would do that. But do you love yourself not all the time? Now you like yourself you so fine. All you can do is work on yourself. All you do is every day. Just take a step in the right direction. All you could do say fucked up yesterday today. I'm going to do this. You know what I didn't like how I apologize. I didn't like a- say something you know what I want this and it's not about you right now. It's about them yesterday. Justice sick my suggests for two days and you know sometimes a little helpless. But you know this podcast going on and there's dogs running around there's people fixing shit and there's like I'm juggling. I managed but all I could think about was like texting your. Hey how you feeling so good. How are you feeling? I'm so glad I'm part of me. Was I going? Hey are you better yet and need you to be better reality was. I really wanted her to feel better. I did and if she was gone for the rest of the week I would manage. That's all the words being it back out. I mean sure I mean it's just like you fucking sick when I'm sick you there. I mean you know all right. This is called Shit talk and this is. It shouldn't talk with Rosenbaum this is just some questions. There's not many you can answer them. Quick we don't have to. This is from all my lovely Patrons unpatriotic fantastic and they get to ask these questions. Megan how was it appearing in a lonely island music video so fine I had no? It was like so out of the blue and I had no idea what I was going into my pants. Second I was like. Oh you cash or credit sophie. Do you have a dream Broadway role? You would love to play in Lima's but I think I'm too old so maybe Fontaine Fontaine's lead. No she dies like one quarter of the way through the lead. Drew Drew Barrymore and scream and halfway did win. The Oscar for funding was song. She sang a dream new. I cried when she saying that. Mush only dream. The dream Rose Mom. Your lawyer K dreamed drink now. Danny Danny I see. There are now Sopranos Conventions Happening Lynn. Sigler ever be interested in attending one. It's not that I was like. He'll be interested or not. I was working when they had this first Sopranos Con. I just feel so weird. It's just it. It feels very removed. From what the show was like it being like this like critically acclaimed beautiful piece of art like not to save like comic con in these things are like not honoring like great great work. It just doesn't it's for you. It doesn't compute. I get you. I just think that for me. It's like it's a chance for people that never meet. You told us just have a blast and here how much they love. You can't just very uncomfortable up against like me being like I don't give a shit about the no. No that's that's I respect that one hundred percent so people just not. Yeah I don't need to be paid to be like like a spectacle wavelength feels awkward to me. Your Mind Lisa ask at this point in her life is MSN major part of how she sees herself or is it just a piece of the puzzle. That is Jamie Lynn Sigler. It's it's definitely major part and that's what I'm trying to figure out how did have it not be. It's impossible to not have it not be right now but I'm trying to have it not be Raj. My wife and I dealt with some negativity from friends and family. After we decided to stop breastfeeding our Sundays of health issues. She was dealing with. I remember you being more vocal about having a stop breastfeeding because of the need to get back on medication for Ms. What is your advice for current and potential MOMS dealing with the stigma? Feeling as if you're supposed to breastfeed your child as long as possible. Look to Amy Schumer. She just like put something out about how she was like. You know what this is not feeling right for me and it's not right for my family so I'm GonNa stop and like God. She's just so fucking awesome because like this is our first Rodeo and she had the wherewithal and like the self love and awareness to be like not not for me and my baby's all right and I'm not gonNA feel bad about it like you. All this. Like guilt is has nothing to do with all the other chatter. It's all on you into if you a fed baby is a good baby. So you know you've got two things for me you're GonNa give me your dope What is it your dope? The lulls? Yeah I need to know what doc you're using and I'm GonNa come on your podcast. Podcast is called again Pajama Pants. Pajama Pants is the one. That's twenty. One episodes in and having a blast at Dr drew on Bob. Saggy Momma said so you can listen to both or podcast. Look if you love like idea. You're gonNA love her after this interview listener stuff man subscribing you know support man these people these folks here who subscribe. They're they're so loyal they really awesome. That's why do you call them things. I like Well you know. I usually try to respond as much as I can. It's hard but You know the the Patriot thing that that part of now it's easier to just kind of like. Oh Hey name for them. Rosenbaum's yeah the bomb squad at the non. I just made that. The bomb squad came up with that. Good you guys like the bomb squad or maybe Rosie's Rosen's roses roses roses sign atop it squad. I can't think of anything better. Your frigging delight. I thank you for him to be inside of you anytime. You guys love that as much as I did inspirational. Yes that was a tier. Could you see the tear down my? I let me now real quick shoutout to my top Tier Patrons. Here we go. Alison Andrew Angelina Berry. Bob Bob Board Tags Chris Dion Emily. Emily Jason Jason Tay Jason. They're both important Jerry. Jill Tricia you Kevin. Kristen Lawrence Li Highly she's upset because I didn't mess her name. I'm Carla Marc with a C Michael. Nancy I love my Nancy and Nico Rosh. I just saw talked to Raj Robert Samantha. Sarah Scott Sean. Tiana you guys. I hope you're enjoying the podcast I am. You see that the patrons on their they get Certain tears. You get to ask questions at the end for every guest So join Patriot. Join me Join the Revolution Law. I'm really excited and make sure Sort of Bernie impression Now that was join the revolution. I don't even as a sound like him. I don't know I thought that's what you're trying to. I don't even know what he says. Look whatever what else. That's pretty much it you know. Thanks for listening to the stage at last week. Miami may ninth remember smallville nights and signing autographs and also. Saint Louis at the Wizard World June fifth of small nights as well. Get your tickets while they last all that stuff. I want to say thank you Ryan again because you know I know how hard this video thing is. Because we're not if you guys notice we're not just doing the. I'm not saying it's cheap but it's fucking cheap. It's easy to put the top and the two one screen and it just run it. It's easy Ryan could do that in an hour correct. Yeah doesn't edit whatever he edits this so we're going back and forth. It's an interview. It's like you're getting inside. I think it's great. I hope we continue to do what he's Gonna. Start working on ways to make it faster. But you're getting great at it so you hope you continue to. It's a skill ahead and I said I could do it. You did not lying. You're not resenting me right no not at all you. Tell me when you're starting to resent me. I mean I you know I I just want you know. I always want people to be happy. I think that's a problem mind but it's also good thing like I want to go. I love working on the show. I know that if Michael This blows up or if Michael. Get something else he's GonNa Bring me along or consider me right. I'd like to be considered sure I always we consider I. Honestly I am for your consideration. I absolutely I Doria and The music you're listening to underneath is just Ryan and I played a little guitar so We haven't even put this music under yet but when you're listening to it sees now it's playing but we haven't even done it so we have no idea what we're going to do but we're GONNA do it. Thank you guys so much. Make sure you subscribe please. Youtube hit the notification thing subscribe spread the word. Let's get those numbers up. Helped me get the numbers up on audio and video and blow the sucker up working in another Live podcast potentially in Phoenix? Tell me who else. Who's out there in Phoenix? Right in Hello at inside you. Podcast DOT COM. I believe is for fan letters Followed me on the handles the At inside you podcast twitter and then add inside you pot on on instagram. All that stuff. Thanks so much for all your encouragement your letters your your that. I don't WanNa be that Guy. That's the worst sound ever. In fact people listening diary. Fucking off We've got so many great guests ahead of ahead now. Like believe me the stories get better and better We got someone that's coming up. That was a really tough. Grab and really tough episode for you to edit because it's an hour and a half hour and a half but it is it is goal and it's a big actor who everyone loves. You haven't seen the show. I'm not going to tell anymore. I can't talk about anymore. I'm not going to do it but if you're unpatriotic you'll learn guys thank you from Ryan S and myself. Thank you for allowing us to both be inside of you and I hope you have a wonderful wonderful rest of your week and spread the word for the podcast and be healthy. Be grateful be happy and Do Your best man so I'm trying to do. It's called life. It's not called winning right. I'M GONNA come up with the worst quotes after every episode from now on. So that's it. I'm not saying it's not a life reason. Yeah so it's not called wedding bugs bucking worst quote. Ever all right. I'm ending with that carver. Mendham would just hanging above. You're saying could you somebody out there is going to go? Oh I remember shitty quote from the week before and now we're sick of one. I remember guys like if you think about if you just say something without thinking. That's what the code has to be. You know guys they ever said life was easy they just said it was a bomb. If you're lucky I was at against a mash up of several different adages too long. I'm GONNA fuck off now. Thank you for. It'd be inside of you get there. Shimmer Ervin's enough.