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Ep 83: Losing It to Lose You To Love Me

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The two NC question yes we unto adult remains guess we love Bieber and that's why publicly stop America when when I was crying so hard in the middle of the night I couldn't breathe and I had a elevate myself hospital style all using several pillows beautiful beautiful I mean I don't know what it's like to have a neighbor with obsessive compulsive disorder because I am totally into it this song set me on a spiral so deep that one point on I guess this was he's the underdog she has lupus she's she got dumped she her ex got married immediately after and yeah it depends but like yeah so she lives in La she's a Hottie with a naughty body and she and she's the full circle so how so how has Selena Gomez Music affected us week road well first of all it changed my mind about her all right welcome back welcome back everybody the two less lonely girls relapse and she just released songs I feel like I truly feel like I did okay so the first song that Selena hit us neighbor right but I mean I when when a song comes out and I like it I put it on and I listened to it at least fifty times in a row full blast yeah so they already I did not like her and now I do it's a good I guess you'd say that I'm an underdog person I I root for the underdog and she is God yes who else is having a week Selena Gomez Oh yes she is okay so we know Gomez is having a week and she's actually neighbor already how to deal with me doing this Katy Perry's small talk last week this week it was it was on Wednesday it was lose you because I'm like no bitch you did yeah because you are not dating a I'm sorry just in is a mess not to be else the fuck did she get dumped or did they break up I think they broke up I don't think she got dumped doesn't matter in okay it doesn't matter because just kind of a single shot of her on an iphone it's beautiful that's that's a testament to how gorgeous she is I literally just looked at her fucking face for like three minutes I was he married in your twenties no one wins when you get married and your twenty no one wins when you're married and your twenty s unless you live in the mid West near like you know and there's nothing wrong with that partially responsible for the week that I think we're all having me too she's got a she's got a hold on me okay I know I've said Shit about Selena I know I've said that she's yeah certified tunes I don't know why you're talking like this now what am I giving off a real butch energy talented I know have said that she doesn't deserve career the I didn't say any of those things I like her I get uncomfortable about how horny her picture is make me because I think she's so beautiful to certified Oh my God it's like a month z morning zoo I love it me and then yesterday it was caches raising how 'cause we got hit with a three new fucking track I lear- I like to make it clear I believe that she won the break up but by appearances it looks like he did yeah so that's why I'm rooting for her arose I'm having a week that's all we'll say we're having a week yeah well yeah everyone is participating in the week so that's craft was lose you to love me that's the one that we knew was coming the one that she had been promoing she shot the entire woman she didn't shoot us she's on the the the the entire video like you live in the Midwest well there's nothing wrong with it I guess I mean I would I would not stay there forever brought take a trip pj triple choices people want different things I get it eh I haven't talked to him since May and even then it was minimal taxing I I texted James but now that I miss them just to really rub it in would you say it was about personal stuff that had I had since learned wi-fi and I I didn't mean to ask no it's okay and I and I off key and my choruses every man I've ever dated if it's not about me I'm not interested in doing it up to my full capacity that right there hi James Sang off key and my corn rose Rosebud Baker Gren Fisher whoo alright so having a week I listened to it nonstop I also started listening to it a little bit on Tuesday and I was like into it yeah but by Wednesday I was in my crying phase of my depression for the past couple of weeks and now I'm in the manic acting out phase yeah and so I get excited over things like Selena Gomez songs that's beautiful let's go is the fact that it was said that three in the morning you couldn't tell right yeah that's great I three in the morning last night you texted me that you were so excited for the podcast reminds me so much of when I got out of my relationship with the ex that was physically abusive okay and the abreast to that to him but the good thing about and I was I drunk absolutely but the good thing about me when I'm drunk is I still have impeccable grammar and punctuation so aching someone else your whole world is like it's the most rewarding thing and I I truly believe that everyone should yeah I don't know I'm sorry juuling I feel like here's the thing that song so we're though yeah okay yeah just really wasn't I was I these these songs I've been so excited and I was coming out of such a because I was eh but I feel empty without him I felt like no one you know and I feel like a at least feeling hatred wait Jeff flock what and you let it burn you let it burn it's pretty low for US feelings they came up from that because I remember it was so weird because I was like I hated I was like I don't WanNa be with this person ready for you okay because they're so good okay so I mean do you know them by heart eating me recite them I need to start off you know what I mean I need like you promise the World Nick I was a little scared and now I actually can't listen to it unless I'm in like a safe place because I don't know what I have no control over myself when the song comes on and I think that's what I heard and got from the song is like that feeling of like refinding yourself after after no so yeah cash new song and I mean yeah I'm a huge cash obviously I want cashew crews me we can we go into Selena's lyrics I oh yeah I have them up don't you feeling something yeah I felt like I felt that in my last breakup I was almost like because it was so mutual I still respect him and I care about amped up yesterday I was I was fueled by Canada's Raisin Hell all day I love that I'm GonNa Listen not today yesterday was my Selena lose you to love me okay her dog not the band yeah yeah and not the certainly not the state but yeah so I felt like it was just a kind of an anthem more king of that time because it was so intense yeah I mean I truly made that person my whole world I had no idea the thing I didn't know what I liked Oh you you'll be like can we get married that's so true in her it really is true out anyway I but yeah I heard it and I was like stover it's the leftover feeling yeah I'm like that's what it's not about John this is a song for her celebrating her and what she went through like coming out of the ash right that's what God damn I believed it too I was like wait I can you imagine a pop for you uh-huh I discovered comedy after that relationship is you know what I mean yeah I I like bonded with Alabama I you know everything happened it does have that feeling of like I want the experience of love and I'm disappointed I didn't get it but it doesn't but beyond that him so I was like can you like throw frigid me or something just so I can make like just so I know who the bad guy is but like this was very clear like I was not supposed to be with this they gave him the song but this okay sang off key and my chorus because it wasn't your is that has to be for real and I love that that is that is saying there is no that's it that's what I got from it yet which is I don't understand why Haley was even upset about this because it's certainly not like I want you burn off this is Oh my God this by the way that's about her shaving her posey is that I might forest what are you making this up where did you read that somewhere and I fell for it it's mad libs now I put you first and you set up to my forest yes back it's like and it doesn't reference her in any way like this we don't know for sure that Haley was upset about it I mean that's what the fuck in but that's what bloggers like Oh this is all I want to listen to we didn't it what did it come out it came out on Tuesday I'm no it came out before that but I was a couple of days oh well yeah I was I'm like going out people is calling your XS I haven't I haven't texted James and I'm sorry I responded to it like a like a text from him in everyone should take care research just to toughen yourself up really appreciate a good relationship when you get it even a decent one yeah I mean if if they say thank you it was all it was big news I don't I don't think so I really think she like well maybe I mean the song's called I'll kill you walk or yeah not it's a it's a it's a fun and bad quality at the same time because it's like I would like to be friends with some of my ex's and their new girlfriends and it's almost not even on the Selena verified psychopaths but like and so I think there's always that one person in your mates life who even if oh yeah I I feel like I finished I got out of that Tumultuous Shit I think so Justin Bieber loves and Internet fight so I'm sure Haley has taken a page from that book right it's just to me it's not because the thing was or you know is bad for you it's so useful to go what am I getting out of this what is it in what way is the I don't like them and they're not in love with them any more fires them up in a way that makes you not be able to like control them anymore and that's who Selena is to Haley to meet while I was in it because I was in therapy and I was like figuring it out like I was like because whenever you're doing something that you know you're not supposed to be doing serving me and you know obviously the easy answer is like oh it's not but it always is in some way like I got to it clear it's like yes I think just indefinitely like loves Hayley more than HE LOVES SELINA BUT SELINA RILES UP in a way that Haley yeah but the thing is it's like they're all in their twenties and we're in our thirties and we're still sub tweeting and sub instagram storing people like they're definitely doing it you know I've been that person that's why like I was about to say that's why people fear me I mean they they do though it's just like you have to know this about yourself able for someone like me who just like all my relationships are tumultuous for better or for worse I've had one that wasn't and it's because I didn't really love him unevenly two years I would say but I mean yeah and that's the problem like I've I've done so well in therapy and like it's very clear because I think I think Haley to me seems very intelligent and definitely the most even killed head on her shoulders of beasts three like oh like the hero for this noon yeah you know what I mean and that was because he was always falling apart and he was always relapsing and then acting in a way that that the sky wants you to act right and that's all shit that I learned out of this relationship so when I came out of it any I really went full tilt yeah and then was like I'm done this dynamic I worked through a lot of why I needed that dynamic she put an Haley put it up right after this Selena song was released I don't know it's just like some lyrics like trying to come between us at won't end up good I wanted and also it came from like this childhood believes that love is earned you deserve it because you exist you have to earn it by you people who especially Romantically I have several friends who make me feel but who make me feel smarter funnier and more beautiful I I have I was like oh I don't need to earn love I deserve it I don't need if I find myself bending shit to become what this person ties individuals that I have to continue being a little mean to them just so that they stay interested which is then a nightmare because then I'm like okay well I don't want her then to Justin people are like oh it's for Justin and it's like no this is this is the toxic dump Ra like that it's the spend at least a year or more single and let's say at least see your more with someone who is not treating you well he doesn't and like it's still that feeling like when you're a passionate person that hate is distraught because I've been I'm I'm a I'm a Selena so I've enter into a romantic union with damaged person right but what I've been doing lately as I just go off it's so simple and I don't know I didn't think of this before but I- purely go off how do I feel when I'm around this person that's it that's the only question I asked myself and for me I feel there so for me it's got me this far but I just think of those things and there are so few people who make me feel smarter prettier and Funnier and so that's very I would step in and he would be like you're an angel and I'd be like I really am you know what I mean it feels good yeah that's what I got from it and I wanted to after well after my ex who hit me I was like okay I think I've had enough of that yeah and what am I wasn't physically abused merely emotional destruction that you caused in your Home Yeah Oh God this off I gotTa go Ikya Oh my God so then verse two thinks is ideal that I know that I'm in that childhood head space and yeah so what was I talking about laced us like it was easy made me think I deserved it in the thick of healing fuck yeah fuck fuck fuck we'd always right and I totally encourage especially women to have an inflated it will it will protect you like bubble wrap truly my life has been so much better are always I mean basically heterosexual relationships the woman's always giving way more than you tore me down and now it's showing in two months you and I love I love pop music because like Tarot cards it's so vague that it can just be relate to anyone that's like my favorite thing about it I even tweeted some of these lines because it was just so heavy I gave my all and they all know it Selena love that one because you know you're and and I think that this song kind of it does have that feeling of like when the fight is over in your book you're both in your corners yeah you're just like panting and you're looking around at the into a blindly I needed to lose you to find me the stance it was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me yes such a good song yeah a fucking love it I I think I'm pretty creating all those areas too great really Vica an inflated sense of self and all those areas we're just fine then kind of you know not but like you know basically guy was like I was into a guy and he was into me and then he was like I I want to be single and I was like easy now for me to pinpoint who it is good for me to be around it so simple and do I feel joy because I think I used to I used to be like does this person make me feel challenged and eh but we were talking about before we started recording it's so weird now because I don't even WanNa be mean to people anymore but we're sometimes I'm dealing with such trouble it's feeling a heavy emotion but it's not the right emotion and I was so exhausted from functioning at dish throwing for two years every night I was I was like this is about me she's speaking to me now yeah I was like I was talking to my therapist about the city I went to a meeting and I like I just couldn't stop crying it went for four hours I was like my eyes were leaking yeah Wednesday night how when you I was like complaining because I had gotten dumb to issue it was like yeah it was like Kinda dumped I'll just keep trying to be what you want me to be in order to get what I want and I know I've done this pattern I'm not gonna do it again and add motherfucker so mad about it yeah I guess sad and then halfway through the session I started crying and he was like and I could are you getting a on a scale from eating off the dish to throwing it against the wall I was getting to dish throwing every night right that yeah no you can't more more with the entertainment business than with relationships because through guys before I was able to work through my own relationship kind of therapists with that I was talking to my therapist news like are you sound depressed and I was like I'm not I'm just NAM or whatever and he was like well if you had to guess what feeling you're feeling what would it be and I was like I don't know okay well if you want I that's I'm going to end up wanting to be with you yeah if I keep doing this all just any just just constant and I you know when it was over I was like Oh God it felt like I'd taken a bath on the inside and I was like okay I feel a little bit better eerie and all the end do I want to throw a dish when I'm around him like that's my ex but I'm like that's not going to feel like that I mean it's feel some feeling something started like even thinking about that perhaps the bubble was not real really at I again I might be called like delusional but it's layer sell for in life for in that I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationships in my life and and I just walked around breathe I was like crying Oh two weeks ago I think it was the week I think it was the day that we recorded the Julie Andrews Oh yeah you were you were you were not in I just started I stopped asking myself like why am I not in a relationship why and I just started feeling what I was feeling which was just really disappointed place fucked up that day 'cause I got off the phone with my therapist early because I was crying so hard I couldn't like finish and that's why Scott into I this is this is Selena Gomez's news track does yeah I mean I thought about your years of therapy I thought I mean I have only been in it for like you too we love Justin Bieber as clear we're not be and then literally like a couple of days later met this person and now I'm like obsessed but whatever her I feel like there's something about like when you needed to hate you to love me I don't think she still hates him I think she had to get those yeah I think people probably kind of thought maybe I mean she's gotta she's got him because he's never addressed it really right yeah yeah and it's been so Europol thank you love it inks gosh if I were a man so yeah these this listed which was that's a baller move to let to let it bubble that long yeah and then in the middle of the night the day after she releases says just why don't you just say Justin Bieber shiny till it wasn't feels good till it doesn't mean that every relationship again Tarot card lyrics it was it's been so long and I mean people you know it was a thing we're after the wedding people were like you know taking pictures of her but now it's like after her the second wedding right she really there's a lot of sexy dancing in this she has a long braid I guess that's the look now long braid look yeah look at her now lyrics to exist in the hatred yeah I wish Ed said that thing we have to cut that out oh my God I'm sorry you were difficult to me MHM and I've actually heard because I'm pretty obsessed with her and I know some people this to work with her on like music videos and stuff and they confirmed like she released on we knew was coming she does beyond say move and surprise hits us with look at her now which is very cute because I guess I love Selene if I yes if I was a man I would I would date Selena Gomez and allow her to ruin my life and my sense of self respect yes what part are we taking out I don't know should I not say that I was that I'm obsessed with somebody who the fuck you know who it is okay fine leave it in Oh Jesus Christ House I don't know I don't know okay well just think about it for the next three days I'll think about obsessively I will I want to go to this she is t- there's something there's something I don't know there's something going on there I think she's pure evil I really oh can siri his own leg do do do do he's eating his leg oh yeah he's he's eating his leg okay they fell in love one summer a little too wild for each other because she's like you can feel bad for me for twenty four hours you can pity me for twenty four hours and now I'm GonNa hit you back I looked Selena's is because they truly when you look in the mirror her first real lover his two till he had another shots fired Oh God when she found out trust levels went way down oh so did he cheat on her who did she on breath of course he was sad but now she's glad she dodged a bullet took a few years to soak up the tiers but look at her now watch her go fast so beautiful but it looks to me like there's no soul they're really yeah no sheep all I feel like you look in her eyes and it's the eyes of pure evil in a hallway to me is like a a young Naomi Campbell like she's GonNa throw a coffee in your face but you're gonNA like get and you're gonNA masturbate to it later okay I selena songs so is that okay so it's like okay so Selena lose you to love me fucked are should we knew that one was coming did we know it was going to be about Bieber I think writes that God that new life was his problem meth not saying she was perfect so regrets that moment like that night wasn't wrong wasn't right what a thing to be human made her more of a woman of course she was sad but now she's glad she dodged able at okay so this is a little bit more you know classic pop a little heavy he ad but yeah and it's cute because the lyrics are so simple it's it's borderline Dr Seuss but then you know this is not like it's not cheap ended really fee just feeding us the lyrics also there's something like of course she said but now she's glad she dodged a bullet is fucking great I love that she's like yeah no I'm sad right corny right it's good this is only needed my love pop music I don't need I don't need a fucking double entendre metaphors tell me what happened and make it run she she's dressed up like a lizard person yeah I'll select Selena to me I think I find her to be very intelligence yeah oh like this right here this clip come on yeah she literally has molested is well yeah I mean she's being shot like she is molested isn't and so like there fights didn't make me Horny in the way that I hoped I would hope yeah I need I need like a Vr Bardem Vicky Cristina Barcelona levels time yeah okay so ab scheme Mama wants Yup I mean like look at this when I talk about like eating your in my heart that you won't yeah okay that's what I need okay fair I would rather not fear in my heart that you're gonna hit and I don't find Justin to be intelligent which is why I never saw them together because even get in a really passionate fight you have to be somewhat smart right that's so funny and you call me tiny a man told me this week he's GonNa wear me like a gas mask that's thing I've ever heard it really fight okay that's what I'm looking for Vr Bardem I WANNA BE I WANNA fear that you might hit me but men could destroy us where I right and that's well could discard our bodies in a carry on suitcase stop getting stop I'm wet take a nap yeah you need to come down you need to calm down yes we do oh my God I like her she'll like people were like looks like Haley's a little salty about Selena Gomez's new song and then Taylor Swift could injure me if you put your mind to it but you never would cause you love me so much right gotta yeah I got it okay for sure I mean most because all duck no you'll be like you've been abused I wanna be I just WANNA I wanna be able like I want to be able to come so I need to be able to know that like Oh God and he was like he goes I just ate this Jalapeno was really spicy oh God I remember anytime you above the and I was like Oh actually what they're doing and the they don't know WanNa conversation is bad and I know that this makes me sound like a fucking content I'm sorry guys but like I'm okay I come on this podcast I'm doing my best I don't have that much to report okay guys Oh my God good Lord uh the pressure I can't take it it is a lot of pressure a lot of pressure to be interesting as I was thinking accepts defend Selena Song even though I'm like Taylor you don't need a defendant a fucking seat Taylor this last week I was like I cannot believe like because I was at that wedding and I was talking to a guy who's like normal normal dude blowing oops off the bed Oh my God oh Gosh Teacher Still Wet oh my lord anyway so go on with lyrics I mean I think that's pretty much we it's intriguing it is it is like if you can be silent and be comfortable in it do you guys I fucked because they just didn't say anything most is because we are paid to talk we're good at communicating most people are just trying to talk they don't God bless we like like what was what was her defense though and where was this on inside Assad in a headline I had to find out some time it's not it's just like just learn how to like if something is like doesn't need to be said and I was like Oh gotta fuck those words out of them yeah dude fallen in love with me because I just didn't tell them anything about myself doc I you shouldn't even be allowed to talk like I'm like this is unfair you're just 'cause like I love this is why I like hanging out with comics like Click Click Bait read it was I sure Click Bait and whenever I feel Click Bait I'm like fuck you and I don't click on grow honestly though I would do the same thing like if you came out with an album very good it is raising how by cash I kind of knew this was coming I follow cash more closely than I follow Selena Tasha's of my one of my absolute favorite favorite gals the video is so good she goes kind of like a little bit like sued i WanNa be I wanna I I need to transition into a man just to use that line yeah I know I fell off the bed yeah you slip slip and slides literate I love it your girlfriend your good friend your good friend so then rounding it out the week you didn't listen to the song yet and I feel like you need to right now it's Holy Shit I'm Oh my God preacher's wife Dolly Parton I absolutely love it and it's a little trashy it's just good it's empower oh we can make trouble we don't need no help Rosebud I love that line oh my God yeah raisin how loops or you've been playing it so much and featuring big Freda so there you go digging love that I love that my my mind fair but anyway Dr Luke sorry and so can I play it for you yes okay please if you notice it's like a drag Queenie type okay fuck and like this doesn't sound like it that was all there was about your break up trash about this is amazing I would I just came seven times to sell them grin yeah run three miles this is like cashew knew how badly I needed the song after the spiral that was alerts response was Well she said this song is a perfect expression of healing in my absolute favorite song she's put out yet a triumph I love you so much I thought he would discard are tiny bodies yes selena Gomez it was it was a pallet cleanser this saved me the song this is big frito-lay here then I'm not going to click here but I'm definitely going to tell it really going to use it as an anecdote Yup I will oh my gosh and not everybody can be interesting all the time what the fuck is name is for a doctor I always he's like a mad scientist name I hate it right I've I've blocked it out of my don't say let's just leave more light words are like are like Nhl highlighter was more yes and also let me tell you something silence my dog and I have like a white claw like real life is born we all know it that's why reality TV shows are scripted right client we're all boring real life is terrible so all sorry that was the song by that he was listening to this is raising how okay fix song pop and country songwriters right you know cash is friends with Dolly Parton in real life like she she did songs that Iggy Pop Tesha is a lot more and she's a she's a she's a real bitch she's a real bitch which I think you know sometimes in the entertainment business can be your downfall because we don't want rang because she's been doing a lot of empowering but I mean like you have to keep in mind that this lady was silenced for years because of her contract with Sony and the three trying like she was probably immersed in the music business almost too young so that she was always thinking with that like what is sellable mind right US and they're like making up the whole story yeah because then it sounds it's so intriguing instead of like well I hung out last night bowl to be real we don't Wanna see your flaws we want you to be perfect and almost like it's almost like we like like edging ourselves like like level places and she's not even close to selling out stadiums which to me is is criminal because she has the talent and she puts on a great stage show she's game to that throughout my twenty s yeah but Texas actually of an exquisite songwriter and writes a lot of of like our favourite pop tracks for other people her and her mom are both breath making us believe that we could achieve success at that level and then realizing that we couldn't makes us come as a society right I truly believe instead of being like the pure artists that she should have been from the top right but I really really love Tasha's and I to me when I go to a cash a- venue like should be a lot more respected than than she is she's right usually Asha right with the money sign yeah so I think I think part of that was probably like the yeah but anyway so those are three got hit with three fan atlas songs this week I am truly grateful the pop gods happy yeah no I I truly like I'm like these are perfect like like rising up Phoenix from the ashes kind of and it came in just having your fucking Smiley Smiley Mix smiler's listen I'm having a good week and that's all I can disclose boy and and like so wild and it's not and it's not and also it's awkward because you know she made her like man slave in the front seat film it She's an gas station she just gets out gets out of the car Oh my God in a blazer like a pantsuit and oops maybe yeah if I had an eating disorder I just be like Y- haven't eating disorder like I'd just tell people of a big leave me alone so they'd be like and I don't like to comment on peoples weights but she's I own I guess lawyer Dot Com doesn't cover food she's very thin she yeah like to the point where smiled upon us they really have yes when it rains it pours Oh my God and I love it it was just all land email tracks to that made me like extra he literally we're all morning I'm having a great week Yup Yup all right guys L. ABC's we love you guys what's making less only this week are in okay so there's so glad us there's a there's a video on Lindsey Lowe Hans Instagram just I'm concerned she's been so thin for years that I'm like okay well you're just not eating yeah but she's probably got an eating disorder like 'cause he's driving along with her again in the gas station it's not great Jesus Christ yeah and Cheesy the to be continued actually come in I'm crying anyway guys please Oh can I plug something I'm a talk about cash because I think people kind of only know her like tick tock crazy party don't stop start till I walk in and that's good and believe me that I festival at Union Hall it's November eighth it's going to be great I'm going to do in our Jay McBride is opening in Love Jay McBride so fucking funny repeat I think of cash on the same level as I think of like Miley and Katy Perry but TASHA's venues are way smaller that's playing she's still playing these like Hammerstein ballroom thirty first going to be doing some shows in Los Angeles so get ready for that keep it up keep those nights open definitely do something for New Year's Eve end that's beautiful I came the fuck up good for you like nine eleven

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