America Isn't Getting It's Grits w/ Pat Brown Part 1

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Toil Way Hot This is a stand up New York labs production providing you podcast since twenty thirteen I don't like Jimbo's at all I think it's horrific hamburger hamburger hamburger that's the only thing I would buy from a Burger Joint L. from Uber I have a restaurant that I constantly order from in Harlem called JIMBO'S I don't mind the people know that I order from Jimbo's how specifically talked about Jimbo's remember when I told you I wanNA breakfast and remember when we went on that walk and then we walk past Jimbo's and I was like Oh burn before straight did you did you did you have you call her yet she texted me for the day so I self am I guess because we just we been going on and on and on for like an hour and a half hour thirty minutes is just it's too much I ordered some breakfast today somewhat of a heartfelt episode today with Pat we have the luxury of having pat does episodes an episode that you here next week which will be prerecorded because I will be important do is go there and be performing and find myself zipped up in a bag he's that but the choice I love Jimbo's he was like oh I've sat in Jimbo's I love Jimbo's to added you absolutely not have not have that if that conversation we episode will be thirty minutes so I'm sorry for the shorter episodes but to conserve my own mental space we have to keep some of these episodes to thirty minutes for me. Where'd you meet this person online but that went fairly well we'll see I mean not reading too much into it yet just enjoying the moment as it is a man that has been I'm also here with Matt you guys know mad have tried to date Matt we haven't successfully gotten off the ground but we will trust me map before the end of the year we will get sexy thank you and welcome everybody to rant and rave with Yemeni and friends I am here with the one the only Pat Brown you guys love her so you and I have talked about Jimbo we have yes we left with that on my Daddy Cohen Danny's watching high any you pat you and sponsor I called them because the guy dropped my order off I ordered the breakfast platter that comes with Grits that's why I love Jimbo's 'cause I I love some grits and you can get grits and a lot of places so I had the grants it comes with scrambled eggs unattached right we tend to run at one point single for almost exactly a year now had an interesting day yesterday I eight we'll see where it goes wasn't feeling any chemistry I've gotten that text so many times when I saw her text it was playful I'm like thank God yes well later Leonard met I doug them in gold or whatever they were behind the bronze them and put them in the windshield I got you know all schools listening and watching how chewy hi everybody on live who is participating okay so real quick I'm GonNa do Iran and we're GONNA get into the episode this week's episode about a woman texting you right after the day instead of letting you I I was sitting there spinning like self conscious I know I'm going to get the text just saying like I it was fun meeting you nobody knows that city not people that had born with shoes the specifically right beside it is Jimbo's a hamburgers but they have that in the name Oh but anyway I like Jimbo so I went to I called Uber eats who is not a sponsor probably to this rant will never be in Texas chicken and ask for their their meatloaf special no first of all hi guys hello everybody I've been requested I say this the guy dropped my order off now when he dropped my order off I picked up the bag I was like this don't feel right but you know you expect arrest arrested him girls that have seen that and their interest you were saying that no we're trying to find a girlfriend hyphen wow jelly who's gonNA walk off like I I start my now starting my day off with heavy stuff yeah and her brother owned a restaurant in Harlem I think we spoke about this it was around the corner but they finally sold it and they is here we go is some old black hillbilly that's why nobody nowhere whip web billy he only had one bag in his hand you are there so much you know how much way the weight is off I scrambled eggs grits and it comes with Bacon and then I got an exercise of baking 'cause they go cheap on the Bacon because only eight ninety five so you know they're gonNA put like half a strip in there like a week they called me one time wasn't Jimbo's what was a place years ago like when I was still doing grub and they they were like oh you're jake yeah I would don't be this fat but anyway so the order was wrong so I I'd send you know these places Eh I had I forget the name of this place that was in Harlem but I used to order from there so much with forgive me the young he watches he watches sometimes she's a follows me this episode is going to be specifically pat bringing all the humor today I cannot keep up with her I know the difference between two platter plates Honda Poop the Connor and who took inter and I'm praying pray for me 'cause you know Dr has had his situations in the last thing I need in one platter plate because they wrap the side of Bacon up in aluminum foil that's fin thing and then the plant should be played so this felt heavy if they'll bulky adam they had they also had great but they like macaroni and cheese that was really great and they had like baked chicken was amazing was it on Adam Clayton no ladies hurry up locked him down a little tender Roni but we have to see I just WanNa do a ramp before we get into a very I guess we'll be I have you know I was born with a pair of shoes and I got my shoes dunk when he would dunk the kids shoes and put backlit make you fish for the rest of it so I ordered another little like it comes with two or three strips in the side ordering begum and I ordered an English it was on fifth fifth year the other way and it was a system brother ran the place and days call me when my order didn't look right with them Paul but it was a Veggie Omelette and ahead grits in it which cheese on top which I was like oh they re Vegan out there watching face it was up vegetarian vegan vegetarian it eight hundred two five three nine three seven seven for Uber eats one eight hundred two five three nine three seven seven now I sit two messages I didn't understand where it comes from but I understand like there was drinking and I was like Oh maybe they just gave me a drink and they know order from them all the time because there was so much eats is never going to sponsor me let me just give you all their number real damn quick so y'all could call them anytime y'all need the number hold on they require you when you're talking about your order to take a picture of it so they don't they don't want people fuck around and say oh I got the wrong thing how would they customer service they're getting to a place where you can't call them they don't want your harassment but they they don't fucked up in the process got nowhere to go so I had to go online to find the number for Uber Eats I've called it before so one line search for the number just just so we above war because I know Uber they didn't get the wrong thing so it took an order it was a Vegan Omelette or something like that I don't even know what it said watch out face you are embarrassed anything she's biased towards anything that is against me being right so pat will like facts facts coupon now I want this is called was I right or was I wrong and you guys can weigh in who are watching live once on bears is off fat bitch that has somebody recognized me by my order not by my work material you have you order a bottle of Ambien I didn't put me to sleep well that's heavy car right there well always GonNa hold you up that's the problem so I call and you know the things so finally I call and it's like they go through this little customer service ease that gets on my nerves wrong my entire order is wrong I have must have somebody else's order this is nothing that I ordered is in this order is that we got tired it'd be like Oh this is my fake name and then this is my my real name so they will know who it was so when she came on set she was like Oh my God I was so glad to meet you to which she then asked me so are you saying your whole order is wrong your you didn't you didn't want the grits grits aren't in here and I was like Oh yeah one of the great like they knew me they knew my order they will like it doesn't look right so yeah I'm loyal minute she also did make up and make up no I care or under a fake name but I I would deal with him so so then after I've air for myself she goes hold on a second one I call the so she did whatever she did she gets back on she goes Ma'am we will be able to refund you for your order a number and a name it's a phone number name the order the order number BITs I don't know sucking on her number I'm on the phone with you if I told you my name sent the email to me so I check my phone I check my computer which is right in front of me as I'm making the phone call and I said I don't see an email and she goes okay we'll come in a few minutes S. lady okay I called in I send my order was wrong so the now she has to go to to verify who I am which is not just a phone go back there but I'm have to physically go there because I will be going through ubereats after I use my five dollar coupon exhaust it's all extra profits for the last quarter my last order what they gave me a little card and a PC I'll have to call back in and place that order all over again which to me I think is the ultimate disrespecting customer service if I have an order that I received that was in oh twenty dollars I'll get back hopefully five whatever something days I don't have money like therefore to be playing around with me and nor even about did I don't want my money back because I'm best so I said Ma'am I don't I don't I said listen you haven't given me my refund ten minutes with the first email and this was not me counting from the call said like twelve or route I said but let's be really clear here even if it did take five to ten minutes I am now on the phone with you approximately eight two thing minutes at the time or thirteen minutes I'm talking about from the time that I asked her about the email has been now a tin almost eight to ten minute camp this refund and that I will so can you please send me an email stating that so she says hold on a second she goes away for about a minute or two she comes back and she says situation there's no confirmation of that northern confirmation number nor is there an email from you you told me you've sent an email now through to trust okay well I want you to wait with me while the email comes in 'cause emails instantaneous so then we wait another minute or so and then she goes we'll have to I said well there's no immediate refund you're telling me there's a refund you also telling me I have to call back to the place to then put in another order your now also telling me that you have handled I don't want to say to her I don't trust you right away I wanna walk her through the steps of Ms Trust on this phone call then guess what she said Ladies and Gentlemen Customer Service Representative because you poorly trained you're trained just enough to be a NYPD officer 'cause ladies and gentlemen man this call is being recorded I said Oh you now threatening me you're threatening you threatening me that I'm supposed to be all this but pat is GonNa win today on whether I was right or whether I was wrong and just to let you know pat is completely unbiased nine minutes and forty eight seconds before I realised that I was getting nowhere with him his first when he first got on the phone he said to me. Am You requested a man address said absolutely I have he told me his name was Marvin I said Okay Marvin can you manage well Marvin is completely correct it's not mind why is the onus on me as a customer to then call back and put the different order to which you are going to charge me again because he can Vegan Omelette they have not Jimbo's aimed at progressive to be having a Vegan not at that whole okay shot at the Jimbo's our order ah numbers matching was attached. Don't make me fill out all I'm not asking to shake the president's hand I'm asking you to give me my ah how do I know you've or from my restaurant all that was so embarrassed I this is this I you fat bitch in Bangladesh or being Indian about tell me your real fucking name budget or whatever the fuck it is so that I have a real paper trail it's like what was going on so I said well absolutely not I will not be putting another order end and now because you're telling me this I need verification that you have now process we're up t shirts say where I didn't understand people that know no web I've been saying kid yeah it's J- is jazz okay when somebody says who did you speak to I have to give them a real name I don't get to say the People Oh my name is Karen meanwhile my name's Monica and then how they go Marvin okay I didn't question it although he did not sound like he was Marvin and let's just all know it sounded like they WANNA call center and Bangladesh that has nothing to do with scared the calls recorded I said I most certainly hope the call is being recorded because whoever listens to this and I urge them to listen to this they need to walk you through the steps of how to be and just so now Marvin gets on the phone I don't even say anything about him being Marvin Okay I just ask him to give me something that identifies him as a Jason what is your title there what is a badge number something because I'm not getting any information that I need and you guys are asking me a lot of information Asian for an order that I still haven't received I'm too I'm three emails into you. They haven't been responded to talking to a woman named Mary now we twenty nine minutes and forty eight seconds do now this is a form of harassment customers calling you was obviously I rate obviously I know it has nothing to do with you personally why I'm in this situation but you the person that I'm supposed to contact to get it resolved you are now making me jump through hoops. PS shout out to that bear and I'm still waiting five to seven days for my money back from the first order so now that order was twenty something dollars I've got a now order again which means I'm forty dollars just thank you so much for calling with circuited with you know the whole thing and so I saw the first thing I said to this woman was my entire order is don't WanNa give a manager honey first of all let's be very very clear and let me just cut to the chase I talked to another guy right after I had been on the phone for twenty wow this is an friend order that I paid for that I don't have and it's already been thirty one minutes so I'll set my last message to you guys with my second picture thank you this conversation and I'm going back and forth with the conversation was longer than that but at twenty nine forty eight seconds is when I looked at the time and I said this is too much and he says to me I'm rip that Man's toenails out of the sockets Matt look it up please the bear the bear you know the bear the bear that the circus bear hit send it comes to me that's happens within a matter of seconds it should be in less than a minute I don't know why your emails have to re- Antigen we're going to get to the other side of the rainbow with this because it did take a bit of a racist turn and it should have he said his name was I cannot give you any information to verify yourself I said or then he goes no I'm sorry then he goes the call has been monitored I said okay this is I see what you guys I told her I just wanted to walk through the strike I didn't want to just lodge into I don't know I'm saying she was you Detroit right right the day put in motherfucking suspenders and pants and reps he rips this Nigga partner have the man died I will tone it down just because they looking for a fucking Karen that don't exist so I said I say anything to her her name was Mary I'd say Mary I said Okay give me mail so I said as well it's just as well as Senate again so she goes and she says it a second time she comes back and I said well there's no email well Ma'am it takes five to ten minutes for an email to go I said no it doesn't it's like Jacob's pickles and I'm telling the lady and she thought my name is Steve No no no you don't get to just throw out whatever the fuck you want when people are trying to keep record of the humor there but don't tell me tell us why emailed in come tell me your name is Marvin because and it's not about him when I started to get stink well okay we're GONNA shit on Uber Eats but we let's go out to the New York while we add it hold on your email that's happening with someone like that not go but it was like she's rushing me along the enemy today I said level me up level up Blah Blah Blah I said Gimme manager I can you now because unle got together because whoever ordered this new sop grits which I never thought also at least I've got another idea what to do a bit because I do not condone death even bear on human death after the BA basement putting suspenders but I would like everybody to know the the same way that motherfucking band went there I would customer the bear bear I win asking you how am I going to get confirmation that I am getting a refund on my order something that you've already told me is going to take back and forth that is taking way too long I'm telling you as somebody who has been a customer service manager you can give me information he knew I kept putting him in double jeopardy because he wants me to he wants me to answer questions and he's not answering questions but I understand as the customer through all the rigmarole I just need to know what is going on with his email that she said she sent me fifteen minutes ago now I'm on the phone with you twenty nine minutes not having all day I will have it because I think of the person who they do this to people this is the problem with America they do this to people almost five days as if I'm going to be keeping some log why go in every day to check my account I need verification from you so that I can keep track of what's going on and if you're listening closely enough you would already know my answer to whether I'm okay with being recorded or not I sat there is I said well that's unfortunate so I don't care if you have to give me your cubicle buddy I will not be speaking to you I don't care if you have to put an alligator on vacation if I needed so that I can keep track of how I'm being handled as a customer and now there's responsibility on you not to be an asshole because you know I have identified are not and never mind the fact that the woman that spoke to you prior already has my verification that's how I got elevated to you as a customer to a manager because she already all the time that they think they can get away with it oh I hear woman on the phone she sounds black I can talk to her and he kind of way I'm talking to a person that sounds like they're not educated I can do them in away but heaven forbid I call and some frantic white woman they would have been on top of it like this or some white guy they would have been on top of it like that oh I'm so sorry I'm so

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