Jennifer Aniston, Selena Gomez, Will Ferrell

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hi It's Ellen Degeneres welcomed with my podcast. We're GONNA listen to some of the best moments from the show. Oh and it's going to be hosted by four executive producers that I love happy listening on Today's episode of Ellen the go several guest host of never seen Gina guest host like this is only my heart. Selena Gomez Awesome. Show tells us all about her love of the show friends will Farrell Hilarious Will Ferrell answer some Bernie questions for Jen. Oh my gosh. There's an and adorable two year old two years old. Let this sink in Yager free expert. Yes I don't even know anything. This kid knows his name is Harry and he shows off some of his his in Saint Kitts. We've ever had. I agree two years old. The incredible Lopez family gets an amazing surprise. We watch how y'all about and Ellen explains explain some of her jokes for all the rest of us. Hi everybody who are you I'm Jay Cutler. Glavin Mary Benedict Conley. I'm Andy Andy last. NER host president. CEO of Andy and friend Slash Ellen on the go anyone else want introduce themselves. And I'm Kevin leaving the second and I should mention that tomorrow is our first and most loyal listeners. Birthday the one and only derive Porsche person that listened every podcast. God bless her every episode. Now here's the thing because you guys didn't listen to the episode with me and Lauren. Because I I I know one of the things that happened there as I said that we were going to invite the treadmill Walker who contest to come join us on the treadmill treadmills weight. Your friend done to hear you're going to do guys are absolutely right. I made the mistake of delegating to Kevin O'Leary our producer will be reaching out to her. The name is Lydia Benjamin. If you're listening we did not forget about. You seems a little bit like you forgot to contact forgot. We were doing the pocket Lydia Benjamin contest winner her. You'll be joining us on the PODCAST. Daniel leary will be reaching out to you and We'll see you CINTAS. Thank you sorry about that. And I'm sorry I put Kevin on that. Should we talk about our friend. Friend Jennifer Aniston. Oh God I'll tell you something very strange. I walked in a little bit late when you guys are briefing. Her there is nothing more odd to me in this world than when Jen Aniston looks who says Oh hi Kevin being introduced. That is very weird feeling old school for Mary. Mary generally basically nose friends. Well but in this was new for me. and Oh my gosh. It's so fun she is. She is fantastic just truly because she's such a good friend of Ellen's yes she did this. It's insane favor for us. Yes it was so much. I think she actually had fun. Yeah she and we had fun and we we we talked about this. We talked about this in a previous podcast but she came came for a day. Yeah to observe. Yeah but we're doing shadow me and see what it's like to show that wasn't she. It shows in with this one ED. She had a great day one. She sat with Kevin. She had a good day mainly but anyway she came but she showed up. Yeah she just like brought it all day long worked really hard and enjoyed herself it. It was an amazing week. Having Jen hang out with us and host the show and it just was it was really really fun. So as an awesome awesome human being right and the audience knew there was a guest host had no idea the guest host Jennifer Aniston and when win. She was introduced and walked out the place. Soccer crazy. Yeah I was watching on the field and got such a great shot. She walks out. There's a shy and you just see this one girl Mao to her. I love her as big as you possibly can say it was so cute. She's a pro man. Yeah she is a pro and like a lot of our guest. House are stand up Comedians Comedians. But she had such good comic instincts. Writers like picking jokes and rewriting a couple Just gave him such direction. It was really fun to watch fearless right and she clearly has great comic timing. Oh yes like she just just she just has that go on charters. Yeah she really has it. Here's a little bit of her monologue guys. I'm Jennifer Aniston. Kim Is GonNa say you might recognize me because I'm Jennifer Aniston but I think that's we cleared that up. I'm so happy to be here today. Of course you know play a host on TV the morning show but this is totally different. This is mid afternoon show. It's a mid afternoon show so I can say things like like I can see I can say I can say sorry. No I can't. Oh that's late night start. Let's anyway sorry guys. I Love Ellen as you know I will do anything for her the because we are real life friends and you know I mean. There's Hollywood friends in Hollywood friends. They kind of like do that. Erica's thing and then when your real friends you do you do that. You do like that right. I mean that's real. That's that's what real friends do. Maybe just me anyway since we are real friends. I thought that you know since she's not here. I'm I'm going to share some dirt on Ellen Dirk and I'm not talking to dirt. I'm I'm telling you some deep dark secrets. Okay guys like for example. People think that she buys and sells houses because she loves real estate. Now it's not true. It's because she's on the run from the law. You have no idea I got more her real name Ellen. It's Sherri Sherry Linguini. It's true you just gotTa Google. I found it and there's one there's one I can't I can't throw. She throws pennies away. She's and she throws him right into the garbage in front of people. Good luck pennies and wait got another one Oh I can't even walk into her dressing room because she's burning one of those Gwyneth paltrow candles one more okay hold on. She wants voiced an animated adult film. Tom called grinding. Nima the other thing that Jennifer Aniston enjoyed mentioning throughout the hour and you should really watch it on. DVR Is that she's a sack award winner. Now Oh yes yes. She wanted to for the morning show show which I love is absolutely a great show but she won the Sag Award and that seemed to be very meaningful to her and then was really fun here she he's talking about how she has a SAG award in Ellen doesn't like I said I'm on a new show called the morning show thank you which is why I won. I won the Sagamore. Did I mention I WANNA say it. I really wish I wish Ellen was here because I'd love to show a tour because I know she's never one one and I have what take anyway. What was I talking about twitch? Oh my sagamore. Because Jennifer Aniston was the host. Yeah pretty killer bookings I'd say yeah. Yeah it the show we had will farrell wonderful. We had Selena Will Ferrell is just funny is just funny is funny. We'll farrel talking. Yeah about having three boys at home and say describing his house he says it's like a small correctional facility. Here's Will Ferrell and Jennifer Aniston talking about his family as your son's birthday access. Today today axles ten years old. The three Boys Boys Axel Magnus Magnus all very common names. Yeah the way much bigger axle. Turn to in the Middle Guy. Matias turned thirteen in December boy. Magnus is about two thirty six sixteen boys house arena boys one so I mean as a parent of other boys. That's a lot of. It's a lot of chaos. All parenting rules go completely out the window. You go from like all the things you read about conflict resolution. I'm sorry you your feelings are hurt and interesting. I hear what you're saying however within five minutes like get upstairs now and brush your teeth. Shut up okay. I don't care why because because I said so you become your parents even. I don't know if my parents ever told me to shut up. I try not to say well. It's like running a small correctional facility. I WANNA get like high powered. Water ordered payments install like yeah does down sixteen hundred pounds of pressure just up against the wall. I get that right. So so that's plenty. That's plenty show Jefferson I have Selena Gomez I love her big big big big star. Selena Gomez with new music getting the best reviews of her career and selling music in the country for the week and she happens tends to be a gigantic fan of the friends program and of Jennifer Aniston specifically correct. Yeah here they are talking about friends. This is exciting. I know oh I are you kidding me. Rachel was by lines. Like I mean this is incredible your new though you know what makes me so happy is that I would watch it on channel. Thirty three at ten thirty every night on Thursday with my mom and I cried when the whole season was over but what made me so happy. Happy is like now like people by age at everyone else's just obsessed and it just makes me so happy for you and for the show because psychotic. No Lena your own you always been so sweet you out your you really are genuine fan. And it's it's amazing and we've we've met we've known each other for years you've been to my house we've had pizza girl after my own heart. We love a pizza or what we love. Let me do is so. It's so much fun now. Someone did I. I was told that you were call US meeting for the first time in a bath. Yes I we're we're mine uh-huh well nobody knew who I was. You were the bathroom wearing a black dress. And I'm like Vanity Fair something event event and I was there with my mom. I walked into the bathroom at I saw you. You were just thanks so nice. You just like walked out the bathroom. You're going back and my heart stopped stopped and I freaked out and I ran to my mom and I was like. Oh my God I just saw him do they say hello. Did we say tree. You're the washing my hands. I hope you're you're you're everything that I wanted. It had to do interviews. Yeah some people guest host our show. And they're great at the comedy and they struggle with the interviews. Some people come in really struggle with doing stand up comedy monologue. But they're pretty good at interviews. Jen seemed to be the trust the monologue and was really quite comfortable having conversations people in our state she was afraid of it. She was not intimidated. It was not daunting to her. Now I will say talking to welfare. Otani will slit. Selena Gomez is one thing but ellen can also talk to a two year old who can did not speak ends up being a very compelling hilarious interview Holy Crap this Kid Oh my God. Mary has a great picture. He's our very first guest. who had a crib in there addressing their own dressing room two years old the living room? And there's a pack and play set up in his room youngest longest I believe guest. We've ever had introduces them Ellen. Introduces them and they're entering the celebrity entrance with the little boy Harry pile. I believe his last name is with parents with his mom and Dad Yep and they come around a little corner to make their entrance and Harry just breaks off from his parents goes an entirely early different circuitous direction to get to Ellen arrived at Ellen like couldn't have been further out in front of his acute just runs up grabs. Her by the knees is like soccer balls and then he sits down and later in the interview that before before for the purpose of later in the interview. There's a stack of black cards. That are going to have pictures cards. Yeah of I think flags Allen's going to hold up and he is going to say where the two things come to mind. I stack is a pretty big stack of cards. And the first thing he does when he sits down his hit it and go. Let's do the do the does he talk. He just wants to show you that he knows. And the second thing that blows me away is on. The back of each board is the name of the country that the flag represents because we don't know what the flood so ellen knows the answers when she's quizzing him so he looks over at the stack of flags that are upside down so he can't see the flags but on the back of the top board. It says Australia and he at two years old can and read. It reads Australia Australia crazy to kids. Who makes me angry that my kids don't do anything special? I'm kidding I love my kids. They're rockstars they're adorable and the kids are amazing. This kid is this kid is special special. He is really he is really really funny and And His dad told a very funny story about his sons. In addition to flags and shapes of countries he also really likes logos. The Dad tells a funny little story about quizzing him on logos take a listen. You're super smart the smart enough to know that it really is incredible. Like what are you GonNa do. You have to keep challenging him right. What's the new thing that you're challenging with logos show? He loves logos absolutely loves them. So I bought a A Logo Balkin all the corporations. Globally we go in through. I think if you don't pay three hundred and we got to the Playboy logo so Alan and I thought to myself the looked at me. He said Daddy Watch this. I would just skipped a page ecology. Sure shed it's the playboy playboy logo. I love playboy and he goes around telling everybody looks the Netflix. Yeah yes all right. There's Netflix Ah yes what this world'll warner brothers full fourche yeah. This is a nice when you remember our is correct and this is Disney Leah visit Kef you want to tell everybody about the Lopez family I love the Lopez family very ended up. Surprising them with a live. Shot is how he first met them and yes poor. Genie freezing cold bus in. They're all in their pajamas. Joseph Joseph and this one little boy in particular like Stole Ellen's heart when he ran off camera came back with a bucket of money. He's been raising the guerrillas. Yes Alan funt. Oh brother them her heart. I'm going to save a guerilla. She texted us all night long about how much she loved this entire Ali where we found thinking about the house. And can you get them here on him to hug them in person and so when Alan taxi like that what do you do you say yes real quick. And here's what happened when they finally got to meet face to face no. I don't know how tell me how much it is. A has three. I mean three hundred eight hundred three hundred but that's it doesn't end there right. No so school ends in June. And then we're going to do in September star all over right. Yep Wow that that is so sweet that you care so much about helping me with the guerrillas. Thank you so much money that you're given for ice cream and instead of spending it you've been saving it for me. Yep isn't that sweet thrown. She's very excited. She's very emotional. She's like me. You can have another Hong the lemonade stand right. Yup and this is because where did you start that stand and so my husband plays soccer and we only like a couple of times uh-huh because we didn't have a better banners than the one we were there but yeah we ended up saving like forty dollars and that's how we started and now it's been growing every little it adds up doesn't it. Yeah okay so we surprise you at your house. Genie showed up. What did you think when you saw? GD It was amazing We couldn't believe it. We were like absorb shock. We so we gave you all twelve days everything that we gave away for all right the game. That was the big TV. It's it's nice to have a big TV. So I can see you like more wider. If anyone ever asked you the question what do you do when Ellen text you. The answer is say yes and do whatever he's asked one uh they really were a lovely and took great care of them and I think sweeping stay in touch with them like they really. There's nothing more gratifying to me than seeing a family that just they just get Ellen tart yes very very very sweet yes Sir yes lover Ellen Explains Jokes so every once in a while. We'll do jokes on the show yet but we think everyone knows jokes like fake audience member. Who's actually a staff member member in less than to leave heart of a skit? Yes exactly. It's it's obvious that Ellen. It's not something Ellen would do for real for real. She's doing comedy. I want to believe in my heart when people on instagram or twitter. See these things right. These comments they're trying to be funny. They're trying they're trying to get a rise out of us. Yeah I'm hoping that's what it is but I don't know it doesn't seem like Some of them are and then some of them really think that we've asked a woman to leave our audience. Yes okay I don't watch our show and think that we're asking someone to leave our audience. You ignore all the other their parts were saying because I just think people believe what they see see. Oh Gosh so ellen has to go through she gets out of it. And that's the three hundred fifty million. There's some three hundred people in this country and like me some of them not so bright but we all the writers love when they see all all these like comments on the bits that they will work on so every once in a while ellen will will take a stack into L. initial pick ones that she'd like to clear up ellen really honestly believe leave that people miss it that she just refuses to believe that people think that she actually asked a woman to leave. She has a daughter. Or we've only shown. Yeah exactly so we cleared some of those up for Ya did here. You go recently. Our show upset some people and Here's what what happened. We were playing holy. Roller the game. Where you throw the ball trying to get through the little hole and I told a contestant if she missed it I'd kick her out of the audience and she missed it and and as a joke I pretended to kick her out and people online thought it was real and felt bad for her? So then we did this. Feel bad that you missed the twelve days. So you're back act now and you'll stay today's giveaways okay but one person is going to have to go because I need a seat. Do do your next to the red right here yeah you. What's your name? Marianne what Marianne okay. You're going to have to leave. Leave take her seat. Okay and so fixed ono now you can leave all right. She made it all the way here running and then falls walking. Thank you so much. I know you appreciate it. No you're welcome stellar by so that was another joke but then we got comments like this. My heart hurts for the lady who left her seat for Stella. She looked so sad. Hope she gets to go back to. She did not get to go back. Because it wasn't a real audience member. She was wearing a microphone. That would have been a tip off when someone's miked in the audience. I can't believe you thought that I would really kick someone out. I'm the one who says behind signed the end of every single show but this is a comedy show and sometimes we ask people to play characters in the audience. Sometimes I use my staff and sometimes we hire actors. One time I hired Brad had pit because he wasn't getting any work and he was struggling and I threw him Abon then he went and he just WanNa Golden Globes. I think he's back on his feet so we probably don't need to help help him anymore. But some people don't seem to understand that these are jokes that they're not real and someone showed me this. When you Google me? Here are the top questions that come up. How old is Ellen's daughter? WHO WAS ELLEN SON? Okay I'm shocked by this. This these are the first things that come years ago. We did a bit where I said that I had a daughter named rafter yellow and that was an actress playing rafter yellow. I don't have a daughter and then once I did a bit where I said I had a son on. This is not my real son. Don't have a son. That's my writer Jason. Who went to Harvard this contract? I have to say you went to Harvard every time I say his name. Here's an easy way to tell something as I say is true if I say it's true like like this is true. I you know that it's true because I said this is true except when it's it's not true and I say this is true just to be funny then saying this is true as part of the joke even though it's not true you're also GonNa WanNa Watch that because it helps to see all all the things but No no no we did. It is because you know what Andy we didn't talk about. You had a line on the show this week with a friend before before Aniston before she came in that day and said I'd love to do some work with you know she's actually never he said the words. I WANNA do some scene work. That's not it's not a it's not a turner phrase people use any way. There is a part. If you haven't seen it go back and watch it where Jennifer Aniston and I have a chat and what segment so tell us what happens when she sits she sits down and she refers to something Ellen Ellen did and said and she doesn't believe it to be true. I happen to have proof that Allen was telling the truth and so what happened was interrupted. How so how did you say it? Actually Jen. We have a tape. We have some video and then there was much more. You should watch it but there was a whole scene. There was seen in the whole scene. And make it into the show or was any of it cut I'm pretty sure it's all in there so unless it got cut I'd be upset now. Of course it's in there. She got to work with me. You don't think that's but it was. You know we we know each other socially so for her. It was. Yeah so Lon you saw her. Socially I think I saw her at guerrilla Palooza and was told not to approach her fail but yeah so yes I did. I worked with her this week on camera work. Yeah Yeah Yeah but that was really more. You Know Jen as a favored saying we will use the writers. What happened was the writers wrote that they needed someone on the stage to return and it was one of two people you were married and I want it that they you know whatever reason got it so yeah it was exciting and I think they pick you over Mary that when they pick you over Mary because they feel better chance that you're going to do something ridiculous and then my line? I actually got a lot of feedback on it going to act and I know it was just so funny. Because it's airing just today. It hasn't hasn't aired yet. I know but I'm already getting colds and people are texting you. Yeah I'm blowing up. What else we got a lot of show that there's plenty of show? We a lot of show and I got a review. Because you're sort of the business guy of the four of us on a show like that. What do we you get paid for on a regular podcast and is there extra money for us when we deliver show? I can do that math for you. I can break down released. What do we do we do? We do not get any money for the podcast and we continue to get no money. Even if we do more on the podcasts Matt Fair just wanted to make sure yeah so. We're working for free. We're working for free but we're not sure anyone's listening. We're we're sure what knows listening. We're all overpaid. But this is work work that we're doing pro bono. Oh that's this is our pro bono. Where we're doing this for the good of the really? Yeah yeah this is like a I. I'm not sure I feel overpaid. I feel I feel well paid. Yeah I feel you guys are still on an hourly hourly punch a clock all right bye default emotion when I wake up is I'm lucky to be days going to be the day. They realize yes. Part every made a giant mistake Well anyway thank you everybody Happy Birthday Porsche. Happy Birthday Ellen. The whole week has been a celebration of them and Love you guys. Subscribe Today on Apple podcasts or spotify or wherever you're listening right now and do not forget to watch Ellen Weekdays for more ellen fun good one. Oh we ship we would so love to know more about to hear at Ellen on the go please head over to wonder dot com slash survey. It's a really short survey. That will help make this show better the wondering dot Com Slash Survey W.. Oh N D E R Y DOT COM slash survey. We'd really appreciate hearing from you.

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