Dad Wont Stop Laughing!
Senior Life Journeys Presents Carol Howls. Let's talk dementia. A podcast designed to help caregivers find knowledge power hope and smiles in their dementia caregiving journey. Welcome to let's talk dementia. Here is your host bestselling author Carol. Hi Welcome to. Let's talk to men. John Carol will an weapon. Glad to hear hearing some noise outside the yard peeps husband calls them are out there blowing and I don't know what they're doing but it's a little bit noisy. We live in a Condo. And we don't own any yard implements yet. May that's happy for us but I'm glad that you're here today. Hope You caregiving. Journey has been good one and if you have questions or concerns than I would love to hear from you you can email me carol at. Let's Talk Dementia Dot Org. Well I wanted to talk with you about a post. I saw on facebook back several months ago. When I was still reading facebook and a lady had written Do your loved ones with dementia have DNR orders wail. That's a good question. Um in its was something we need to consider. Let's back it up to. What do you have for yourself? Do you have the proper documents in place while I have preached this several times on this show. You've heard me talk about having your documents in order and my husband and I recently have spent some time visiting with the lawyer in pangloss. Nice little stomachache to get all of our documents in order in. This is what we got wicked that. Oh my goodness all. Tabbed out. Nice and everything inland place. So we did Began and opened a irrevokable trust and the way that I understand. That kind of trust is put this down. It is a closed box so if the box is closed no one can reach again anything out of it. If the box is opened somebody can reach any. Get things out of it so with a closed trust. It's protected against creditors and predators. So that's a good thing so if you're sued what's in that trust is closed. They can't get it and you can put almost everything you own short of cars. I think In that trust but more specifically we had redone. Our wheels are wills olden. Were very old and we felt they needed updating and had Had to go ahead and update our living wheel endurable power of attorneys and so the durable power of attorney means that someone would make decisions for us. Should we become incapacitated and not be able to make those decisions in for both of us? We chose our daughter and then her husband as a backup Now that power of attorney is only if we cannot make decisions now. What if somewhere along the way we decide to do something in? We need their help within. We can do a one time. Power of attorney for that instance for example. My mother bought and sold property and I handle it for her in South Carolina while shoes North Carolina in. She would assign me power of attorney for that. Property acted her behalf but I had general durable power of attorney for her general meaning. It covered everything. This came later in her life and durable meaning it endured all the way till the moment she passed now when we pass. Our power attorneys are no longer in effect. So if you have one on your mom and you think you're gonNA make decisions for her after her death. You don't have that authority any longer. General durable power of attorney. The only way you will have that authority is if she had a will stating you as the person who acted on her behalf and that's why we needed to update our documents in there. We also have a living wheel. It says if I am no longer alive. I am just being sustained by life support. Is that what I want? My answer is no I can tell you guys. I think I've mentioned to you in the past. There's a song that says heavens sounding sweeter all the time well ever since my sweet Mama died I feel like that and I don't WanNa go to heaven on the next boatload but I'm not going to do a whole lot of things to sustain by existence here just to exist I wanna have a live. I WANNA be out there part of this world doing the things that God's coming to but I don't WanNa be lying somewhere up anything. Just don't answer head. Those words put in the illegal ease that my daughter and my son while my husband would have it also said do I won't food in. Water withheld will know. Don't if I can be sustained with food water then that's fine but don't force those on me for sure. Don't do that so you have all of this written down and then the DNR now a dean our laws as I am seeing do vary by state I can tell you that in South Carolina if you move from one assisted living to another or from the hospital to assisted living from Rehab to wherever the DNR did not follow you had to have a new DNR with each one. Look how much brighter. The rooms getting the sun keeps coming out and going in your on the listening to music to take my word for it. It's gotten a lot brighter so you're DNR will say do not resuscitate so if your loved one or two become unconscious and they were not breathing. Do we won't extreme measures to help them start bringing it again do we won't CPR Do we want the paddles did we won't any of this to cause them debris again. Now that's GonNa vary in your life's journey right now Montana my husband and I neither one have. Dnr's in place we don't have a need it as point have DNR's in place. Because I can tell you that if I were to go in the living room right now my husband were passed out not breathing. I would do my best to do. Cpr call nine one. One and I would expect them to do that but on his brother on Carney. He does have a DNR at this point. He's on hospice Dealing with a lot of issues at this point in there in his life Resuscitating doesn't exactly sound like the nicest thing to do for him. Now that's going to vary by family by individual by religious beliefs by your family believes in. You know what I'll that's okay. What is not okay if not talking about it? It's something you need to have a conversation with those in your family. Who would help make those decisions and as I said in my husband's life it's our daughter and son-in-law we only have one child so it's up to her to know all of these things but then the other thing you want to do is all of your reporting documents looks making some noisier flipped them in one place for us. It's this nice big binder. It's all in here. Got It upside down. It's all in here in its tab down. And there's notes in the air even put notes in there for daughter of which cremation service. We would like for her to use for US based on the pricing structure. I have just acquired looking ahead that with Uncle Ernie being on hospice and Who knows he may live another how many years we don't know but I thought let's go ahead and find in our part of the world the best pricing for the services. We're looking for and I may not see in this book. You also might want to in your book or in your safe probably in your safe. Put Password information put things like how to get into online into your different accounts you know. We are a world of passwords. My word they will drive you bonkers. Won't you and then they ask you those questions like your secret security question. The only you know the answer to find out you don't even know the answer to what did I push as my favorite television show. That's supposed to be the Bob Newhart show. Because I love that grownup or the Mary Tyler Moore. Show but guess what? It's neither one. I don't know what I put for that So those are the kind of things you need to have written down somewhere so that your loved ones should they need to can access different accounts after you pass or should you become incapacitated to the point. You could no longer help do that. There's things they need to know insurance policies all in one place in Frazar insurance policies are in this book everything they need to know in one good spot but as far as with your loved one do have that conversation as early in life as you can and then if you get to the point that you've got to make that decision for them and I cannot help give you their input in it would be a family decision in the family would need to agree on that if possible. Now know some families. That's just not gonNA happen is it? Oh mercy families are a trip for sure. Well just thoughts to help you for the future planning ahead. Making sure that we got are easing. Hughes lined up in in our is dotted in RT's crossed. I'm more likely to cross my eyes dot. Matiz that you know. That's the way life goes. I hope that's given you something to think about in your dementia caregiving journey and in your own life. Let's plan ahead. Let's be proactive. It's a good thing blessings and smiles.