Catfishing with Superwomen

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The Future of phone service is here and it is called visible for forty bucks a month. All in you get unlimited data messages and minutes. It's on Verizon's four G. Lt Network along with mobile hotspot lt speeds up to five megabits per second with unlimited usage edge. They don't do annual contracts. They also don't do shady hidden fees or foot long phone bills when they say forty bucks a month. They mean forty bucks a month. Are you ready to learn more or switch to visible than head to visible dot com slash dating to get twenty dollars off your first month of of service when you sign up and exclusive special offer just for our help us dating listeners that's visible dot com slash dating tell. I suck at dating with Dean Vanessa Jared and iheartradio. Dot Com what is up Sucky daters haters it is deny deny back in studio is September sixteenth. I believe I'm here with Mark Easton Jaren Vanessa. We have a a very special episode for you guys. We have Nicole Lapin who is the author of Boss Beach Boss Bitch. Say Booker's yeah you can. It's her book but the newest one that she just wrote is becoming superwoman and she is in my eyes super woman a space between the words that she likes six to put. She's not similar woman but she is a superwoman. We're GONNA talk to her. We're GONNA talk to Nieve and Laura from catfish a little later on. I'm sure you have seen that show on. MTV basically they just go out and find people who have been catfish and knee was actually the very first person to be to have gotten catfish so talk to them a little bit but before we do that in the first person ever to get catfish. I mean people have gotten richer. I guess that's true yeah so by the term they coined the term MHM catfish and then they made a documentary about nieve getting catfish and then that documentary spun off a couple of years later into hosting the show catfish on MTV which I'm sure you've all seen. I don't Really Watch television but I've seen that show so I've seen right through all seen it. I think it's neat to make up a phrase that becomes part of the language. Oh Yeah I'm curious. I'm curious to talk some more about that because I I don't believe that they've invented the phrase you know you don't how does how how could they have done that. You don't just go out and do that. A habit like John Hinde. He's the guy that invented jump the shark and the concept of jumping the shark and now everybody says jump the shark never heard anyone say wow. I can't be the only when you heard that I've used them. Use It to me. Give it to the the premise originally was when did they. TV show jumped the shark like for example on happy days. When the fawns John's used his motorcycle to jump a shark. That show wasn't good anymore. It's one a TV show stops being cool and exciting and fun and every TV show has has that moment does it because when you're on the other side of the shark what's interesting. It's it's they do often when you add a a younger cuter cast member when there's a marriage on the show it's like like after that the excitement and newness of the show is gone and it's not as fun as it used to be like. Michelle Obama show will the jump the shark a starting to think of that in my head when yeah because there might be a couple of moments when they jumped sharply when Jim and Pam get married yeah finally get together or then when Michael leaves. Oh that's for sure yeah. That's a definite sharp wasn't jumped by then yes definitely definitely okay and usually that's it main characters getting together main character leaving new character coming. These are off shark jumps but anyway you guys are business. what's the word. I'm looking for businessmen business casual. No you guys you you guys are in the scene user in the Hollywood world more than I am so you just know it better than me. They're not here so we could say that this podcast jump the shark. When we added the Jordan Vanessa could agree on that and then again the mustache. That's that's the real ah but anyway that's become something as a phrase people use it to describe not just TV shows but all kinds of things but anyway we digress. What are we talking. We're talking about catfish. I gotcha anyways. We haven't had a van update in a while later. Yes let's give an update for now before Jared Vanessa. They're running as usual so they're going to jump in a little bit later on but in the meantime I'll just tell you is about my life and obviously the van has been a pretty central figure in Bachelor in paradise this season more so than I ever expected it to be i. I'm surprised I'm getting as much screen time as I am because it's just it's just so funny to me but yeah the van has been going well. I did the Van full-time as of I think the end of May so we're right around three months now a little longer but again. I travel internationally lot so it's kind of Nice to like not have to pay rent while I'm gone but the van itself is doing well. I've had to get some work done on it which has been frustrating. It's like I'm saving two thousand dollars a month on rent but just last week. I had to get a thousand dollars worth of work done on getting a computer chip reinstalled on you know what I mean so the newer Van I forget yeah. It's a it's a two hundred six. I mean not really new. Hey you know got low. It's seventy thousand miles on it so not many miles as a diesel engine and so it runs forever and it's a it's a sprinter cargo van so it's made for distance and so it shouldn't breakdown often but when it does it's a Mercedes so it's expensive offensive to fix what are some disadvantages. You found that maybe he didn't anticipate other than maintenance on the van just in day to day life well when I'm living in the van. I'm not in Los Angeles so I haven't really run into anything I dislike about that. Where where do you parkas thing right now. It's parked on the street. Is that how it when you're asleep in it. I usually on a street somewhere was. That's the thing when I'm when I'm sleeping in. I'm not in Los Angeles. I'm somewhere more rural and so I can sleep in a campsite area or you know I've slept in Oregon. A couple times. Look just like on the side of the road but the road is like. It's a frontage road so there's houses around the house is not no not much traffic going on. There is all these these these long roads at your on a lot of like semi trucks that pull over and sleep on the side of the road until I basically joined them as like the little brother you you know because I'm like a little baby compared to them. Is there a website. You can go to see where it's okay to park a car overnight. There is yeah I've never been on. It and I don't know what it's called but I know that they exist so far. There's doing it on your own run into a single issue and so I think until I run into an issue police have come with a move it along Knox I so I was in Jackson Hole Wyoming last month visiting my brother and climbing mountains and stuff out there. I was basically just sleeping. It's funny. Actually I spent seven days Jackson five days in Jackson. Hole Wyoming and and my brother has a house there and I didn't go his house. One time basically lived in my van out front yard until the very end I think I just had pooper something anyways and one morning he woke up. I woke up to to someone being on the window house like this is the first time I've ever been woken up to someone like trying to bang hang on the window and I was like someone probably telling me like move my van I parked illegally or someone's like trying to scare me or something like that. Enters my brother trying to wake me up to go hiking for the day but I've never had an issue and and it's funny because I sleep with a gun right next to my bed. I have a safe for it but I typically before we go to sleep. I take it out of the safe. I have the magazine gene and the the actual gun itself separated from each other for like one at the head to toe so it's like. I don't make a mistake at night. You know he'll be like a sleepy stupor if I needed to. I could find signed both and put them together and Cock it and if you need to use it use it just picking it. s probably intimidating enough right if someone comes in you just there's is a magazine in it. It's a good point. I hope I don't ever have to shoot anyone obviously but like it's it's good peace of mind to have and it feels cool to halt. It's a gun handgun right. It's a it's a glock nine millimeter very capable of murdering someone there were times. I was hiking through yellowstone. Actually and yellowstone has these watch out for grizzly. Bear signs plastered everywhere like crazy. Obviously they can merge they can kill and there are multiple times where I didn't hike with my gun because I I think it's probably illegal but people carry bear with them all around and there were multiple times where I was like. I should probably have my gun on your right now. which is a cool thing to think about like yeah? I got a gun. I should probably have it on me right. Now was getting the gun any issue there blown away by how simple it was literally. I think it was after this podcast asked a couple months ago. I just walked across the street. There's a gun emporium there and I just that took this test and they're like I walked in. I was like Hey I wanna buy a gun. I live in a van and I need to protect myself and they go great. Take this this test. Once you pass the test we'll pick out which one you want the background. Check that the test now. It's a it's a multiple choice question tests and I go. I go short but just say there's no like I've never studied studied about guns. I know nothing about guns. I don't think I'm ready to take a test and they got you got this. You're fine. You're fine. Take the test the test no I got one question wrong and it was like an ambiguous like there were multiple right answers and they talked me through it. Whatever picked up the gun ten days later I come back and pick up a gun and I got a gun and I take it to the shooting range practice with it. I took it apart cleaned it so you got a gun. Wow I hear this legal asleep in Walmart parking lots. Have you taken advantage of that. That's actually a a change drew I don't. I don't think it's legal anymore but they don't enforce the law so it's technically not maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe it's still legal but it's not advertised advertised by Walmart who used to advertise it because people would like set up camp there for multiple days and then Walmart then becomes like in like in liable for things that might happen in their your parking lots for people that sleep there. I have never slept in a walmart parking lot. I duNNo. Everyone's been very critical of it but I know you mentioned pooping dupin. The Van Right. You have a bathroom on there. There's no toilet in there. I've been thinking toilet well. My thing is I want to try living in it for weeks at a time and seeing if I need a toilet I'll get a toilet but I haven't starbucks and like just public bathrooms. Gas Stations McDonald's Yup exactly that I have a bucket that ip every once in a while. If you wake up to a yeah you don't WanNa go out into into. I understand that I just pop open the lid of my PG puts the lid back on law. Lorde the full right now actually two toss it and get a new one. Be careful in accepting lemonade at Dean's so you don't reuse the jar I mean it's basically he's like a gallon jug of water that I've re purposed as a PG and if you wake up in the middle of the night and have to go the other one. I not incurred that since I was like six years old so really good yeah. That's good for you so yeah. I mean it's been going well. There hasn't been any emergencies trying to think of. Maybe like the war situation. I've run into in the van Dan and honestly. I can't think of anything bad. That's happened I hurt my arm really bad in Wyoming. I felt that I broke it but I just had a a big. I've been staring at that scar for a while. I got a big Gash. I'm still I'm still honestly convinced that I broke my arm and I just feel like a superhuman over industrial excellent. That's no you. They're laughing but I'm serious about that. I swear you guys should have seen this you could I fell we were glistening some snow and I your wedding down some snow glading. There's like you ski on your feet. You know like you just slide on your feet and it was like a steep snowfields and you're up in the mountains and so like if you fall down that you slide down than some rocks and I fell well and I was like on my stomach and I stood in rocks than my brother was down there at the bottom waiting for me. He caught me and I like aw I hit my arm. I hit my arm and I show my arm and and he goes dude. I can see your bone in your arm right now and we're like thirteenth. We're at thirty thousand feet and so I had to take shirt off and I tied my shirt off and put pressure on the wound and so I didn't bleed out and I was like looking at it for I was like I should get stitches. I know I should get stitches but I don't want to get stitches like who the hell wants to go to the especially. I was like get stitches tomorrow if it still hurts and it still hurt really bad but then this point I was like well. I'm already a day as you and I I didn't have any range of motion in my arm for probably probably five or six days like I could only move my arm like thirty degrees and there was just so much pain and sleeping the van kind of cramped and so I was like sleeping on my arm sometimes when I would wake up and it'd be like throbbing and like the bandage would have fallen off in my arms like sticking to my bed because the wound is fueling the sheets so that one that was a bad couple of days but that was just because again they fell up in the mountains. That wasn't really anything that the van was responsible for wow that whole trip I was with my dog. I took my dog with me and I was in places like Nevada and Idaho and like these like pretty hot places dog always with you know she she lives in Pasadena with the girl that I got all right okay and I I just WanNa travel with her and like give it a shot and see if we can do this and so they were like we weren't like a lot of hot places like Nevada like I said she that was may be challenging because she needed the AC on at all times like not overheats Let's say I needed to go into a store and like buy something in Essex Shopping forty-five forty-five minutes. I'd be like kind of you know trying to figure out what they're right. That's a challenge and especially in like yellowstone national parks they don't you're not allowed to bring dogs in national parks but because of all the wildlife and so I would like go climb the Grand Teton and I'd have to board her for a couple of days while I was hiking or go to yellowstone. I would venture out for the day and had to leave her at the car which was never. I never felt good doing and so. I think it's not going to have the dog anymore just because I feel like she's not living her best life with me. So that was an issue a small issue what else about the van life have run into issues with that's about it. Honestly I just rebuilt the garage system. I re- per not repurpose it. I used to have these two big like bucket things that were on wheels that would slide out and it was very laborious and inefficient and so I just got rid of those and I put this big sliding track system in there so the chunk basically slides out in my cargo area is what do you keep in the cargo area. like camping equipment chains cases snow's my golf clubs like like all my like extracurricular stuff that I would need warm clothes extra blankets. I I understand why you're getting so much screen time on Bachelor's Paradise because I find you fascinating. I found the van fascinating. It's fascinating. Can we talk about my ability to heal incredibly fast. That's a real thing but I I suffer from delusions like that. No no this is not a delusion. I swear so I did it on. I fell on a Sunday and my other brother was coming up that Friday for us to climb the Grand Teton which is like a pretty difficult client. I it's not difficult but it's long it's fourteen miles and there's like very serious moves that you have to do on the rock and I'm like I can't even do a pull up right now and by Wednesday. I still don't even know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm physically capable of doing because I still can't bend my arm. Thursday came around it was getting better and then Friday came and I was like probably like seventy. Five percent healed at the gas was still there obviously but I had seventy five percent ability to use my arm and I'm like well. I'm not going to not do the grantee time like this is what my brother drove out from. Denver for twelve hours whatever it took and and so I did it and there's a lot of points where it hurt really bad but the more of the story is now just a scar tissue and this was a month ago mark and Eastern. I had a hairline on fracture in my arm. I know what I broke my arm before. This is worse than that and now it just as bad as scar that I have on. My arm rushed me no one we more more excited than Nathan and myself if you were actually a superhero. I'm not saying I'm a superhero. I just say I possess superhuman capabilities. Are there others other than the ability go to heal slightly faster than normal but this is not the first time that I've healed irregularly fast okay. There's a couple tests. We can do really how how how easily do you get drunk pretty so I get drunk easily but between getting drunk and getting to the point of being sick is it's impossible because those with healing factor your wolverines or captain America's people like that. They can't get drunk because their cells regenerate too fast interested become intoxicated. I don't get drunk. I could drink. All I want is a kid so I grew up with two older brothers one six and one nine years older than me as a kid. You know obviously as a younger brother I got picked on a lot and I got like bowl like physically abused by my brothers as any younger brother will do and they would always say things like Oh. It's not leaving a bruise or that didn't cut you you and so because of that. I can you even more next time you know and I'm like well just because it's not bruising you expected to bruce doesn't mean it's not hurting like it's supposed to her and so a regular forced forced punch on me would not leave a bruise but irregular punch on someone else would like a big big bad bruise so there you go see human if he he is. Maybe I'm convinced anyways what else I used to think that I had x Ray Vision as a kid because if you hold something close enough to your face you could see past it but in reality. It's just bow piecing it together. I was that close when I'd be like okay I can see. I can't see through it now. Then it open X it's revision yeah so that's a superhuman ability that I still have other stuff to discuss with the therapist. I think you have what else what other super. That's about it well. The ability live in a van is impressive and he also taught me a new word today yeah. Let's see I don't know autism. What does it textbook definition slide down a steep slope of snow or ice with the support of an ice axe yep so pictures really funny on Google images this people sitting down yeah so the thing about the ice axe is imperative to have an ice axe when you're going through snowfield while you're mountaineering because if you start slipping as I did you would basically turn over in your stomach and self arrest and just dig into the ICU. Stop sliding otherwise you can't stop yourself because it's so steep and so you can't stop and we only had one ice axe because we were too lazy to go to the store and buy another one which obviously and my brother goes. I there was this there was this move where you're on the rocks and the only way we could get down was we had to jump from from the rocks into the snowfield which is a decline and then you had like close aide down and he did it without the ice because he's more he's more of a mountain man than I am so he went and did it and made it look easy and I was like this. I don't need the ice axe if he can do it without the ice axe I can do it without the ice axe and so I jumped slid my feet dug in too deep and then I flipped over onto my stomach and once your stomach baseboard you're kind of screwed and so that's how I heard our thoughts are both acceptable. Put on your show. Thank you so much. That's good to know all alright. Colas here okay jared here and Vanessa's ready for US Great Yup. That was great. We I feel like we've got a lot of time with a whole lot of nothing. Where a lot of smoke okay. That's the slogan for help by second date or making mountains out of molehills. Okay cool jared see an ESA good to see you. We'll get you guys in a second back into. We're GONNA have Nicole as a guest as well but before we do that. We're going to take one quick break. The Future of phone service is here and it is called visible for forty bucks a month all and you get unlimited data messages and minutes. It's on Verizon's four G. Lt Network along with mobile hotspot lt e speeds up to five megabits per second with unlimited usage. They don't don't do annual contracts. They also don't do shady hidden fees or foot long phone bills when they say forty bucks a month they mean forty bucks a month that includes clued taxes and fees every month unlimited data means unlimited so visible won't charge you by how much data to us and they don't cap your speed so you can stream your favorite podcast like the one you're listening to right now of course and you can listen to it care free. They also don't have physical phone stores that means no waiting in lines or dealing with annoying sales people. They're not that annoying but maybe a little bit now with visible you can sign up by new phone or bring your own device. Get help that's tap away way via text or tweet and you get better phone service off from their APP or website without ever leaving the couch. Are you ready to learn more or switch is to visible then head to visible dot com slash dating to get twenty dollars off your first month of service. When you sign up an exclusive special offer just for our help us like a dating listeners. That's visible dot com slash dating. It's the hundred year of the NFL and did you know. NFL players are even coached to get a better night's sleep. They do things like avoid blue light from smart devices that keep you up at night now more than eighteen hundred. NFL players are sleeping on sleep number beds and for good reason the sleep number three sixty smarten bed senses your movements and automatically adjusts to keep you sleeping comfortably through the night experienced the smart effortless the comfort of the sleep number three sixty smart bed find your competitive edge with proven quality sleep from nine hundred ninety nine dollars sleep number is the official sleep in wellness partner of the NFL. You'll only find sleepnumber at one of their five hundred seventy five sleepnumber eight number stores nationwide find the one nearest you at sleepnumber dot com slash. Iheart all right welcome to hell by a dating Dean Vanessa and myself jared. We have a special guest in studio joining us the author of becoming superwoman a simple twelve step plan to go from burnout to balance which is available in stores September Seventeenth Nicole Nicole. Thank you welcome like that. We will give you a standing ovation every time we see. We promise you that much means. You just have to come back well. We weren't standing that time. So now we actually all right all right gentlemen Nicole. It almost fell out my chair off the bus and drove ever received in my whole entire life. I'll never forget my first standing ovation. So you know we try. We try here at how dating Nicole. Tell the entire audience read. Who You are. Who am I are you are you. What is happening sitting? I'm looking into your soul right now are you. What do you see. Why don't you tell powerful woman? I say thank you welcome. A superwoman was super one but killing super thank you I do. I think superwoman the character who tries to be all things all people so she's nothing to herself needs to die. We're kind of done with her. I I think the idea of being a superwoman like with the space just being a super can I save perfect is what we should aspire to somebody who puts her oxygen mask on first before helping others because if you're all things to all people you're nothing to yourself and therein lies the real danger all things to all people all your nothing to yourself ten times founding you'll ever. I think that we get into this rhythm as women that we have to do it all and I think the big question is. Can we have it all right. I think we can have it all if we define what having all means we just can't do woodall. We're human beings not human doings so we can't do all the things especially not at once and I think that pressure is leading women's you burn out and breakdown in unprecedented levels. Nicole like I said earlier before we started recording. I'm so excited that you are with us today because my birthday is coming up. This is like an I always say like September for me is the New Year like the new me new beginning because my teacher Breen speaking king and I feel like I'm at a point right now where I'm just kind of coasting. I'm doing everything but I don't feel like. I'm doing everything at one hundred percent and I totally relate to what you're saying. I totally relate to the idea of burnout. 'cause I have gone through one. I want my I burn out. I think I was fourteen years old. I wasn't competitive. Gymnastics went through burn out. I think I was a little bit depressed at the time too and I just I needed to stop everything and just focus on what makes me happy because I think we have this idea of quote unquote what successes that's right and I think there's people who might look at either our lifestyles or people in the industry and say like we'll how could he be complaining and how can they be going through a burn out or how could they. You need a mental health day when they have the life that everyone wants. So what would you say to people in that position well. I think we have the equation Wrong Vanessa and maybe it was during gymnastics or maybe it's now like I'll be happy when I got there. Maybe it was a gold medal back in the day. You know maybe it's an Oscar today. Whatever it is then I'll be happy then. I'll be balanced when you get there. There's always another they're. They're like we keep going with this goalpost. All the time we get there. We got the salary we got the job and then all of a sudden Bam it's magically a whole other goalposts and you never get your brains the other side of balance or happiness and studies this show that it's actually the other way around that happiness or balanced will bring us more success and not vice versa. It sounds like what you're saying is. If you're not enough with it. You'll never be enough without wow. UNPACK that one thank you you can do it and if you're not enough with it. You'll never be enough without it actually sit around. If you're not enough without it. You'll never be enough with breath at all. Okay sorry with it. I do like that kind of I will make the analogy is GonNa make a spiderman announcer. Algae could God what's wrong with me. I pretty much saying it's it sounds like it's the journey not the destination well. I think self care is the biggest asset or liability in your career so I wrote rich bitch a robust bitch like I talk about money and business to women all day every day and I think what I missed is that nothing is going to affect your career. Networking working your ass off going to business school than not having a good self care regimen when that's off it can bring you to break down and rock bottom. When it's on point it can actually bring more success than you ever. Imagine yourself carry sing mentally physically. I all encompassing all of it tips. I do so many Zips I actually had a mental emotional physical breakdown after a burnout for my second book launch and what I realized is that that it's a lifetime of smoldering embers that finally caught fire and incinerated everything in its path not some spontaneous combustion. I think if you go through trauma if you have issues yeah I mean I have more issues than vote. We all have stuff that we're dealing with. You will eventually click your ass. I mean I self prescribed work for so many years and just hid from everything and ultimately it will come back and you know kick your one sounds like a lot of the advice that you have to offer is pretending to people in the workplace right or entrepreneurs nores if you're in Boston I talk about being a CEO of your family being an entrepreneur so being entrepreneurial within an existing company or starting your own business and we go through a lot of the different stages in our careers especially now. It's not a ladder a hate that analogy. It's more like a rope swing warlike rock climbing or something like that. You're doing different things at different ages in your life. If you're the only constant no matter where you go so I think one issue a lot of people have is boundaries boundaries. I feel like when I'm having a really rough day and then I know a friend is calling me who loves to talk for hours. How do I set that boundary to be like. I tired today. Let's catch up tomorrow instead ET AL I. I'm such a giver so kids everything that I got and then I'll become more exhausted so how what kind of advice would you give to people who don't know how to set boundaries. That's when I don't pick up the phone. I don't know how to do that. You just forward it to message is very easy and and then you take some and then say you're at the gym or you're getting food or something like that and you'll call them later or you can just say listen sister. You know I gotta put my Oxygen Mask on first right now and superwoman Shonda rhimes I quote in the Book Says Says No is a complete sentence love her ray and saying no to other people. You have to reframe that because that's often saying yes to yourself and if you think about about it like as a giver I get it on a lot of women including yours. Truly are givers like I want to take care of other people but if you say something you put your half ass into and not your entire are your ass then. You're actually not being of service or help to that other person. You're actually not doing justice to whatever that thing they asked you to do was that you said yeah so so. I say superwomen put their full ass in all the things they say no. Yeah I also WANNA say. I was just joking about not picking up the phone. I hope everybody understood that but I I what you were just saying. I I need to practice what I preach as well but a Lotta Times I think I don't give people don't value people enough for them to handle my opinion if that makes any sense because it's like what you were saying. I think it's very difficult to say no but at the same time I think I should respect the other person to be able to handle the fact that I'm saying though that makes sense yeah and deal with what that feels like free like it's It's very hard for me to say no. I'm sure everybody has this prog right. You don't want to say no to someone because you feel also bad but at the same time I feel like I should respect that other person enough for them for me to know that they can handle me saying no does that make sense not in charge of that other person. You're only charging yourself like yeah but at the same time you feel bad and then you feel guilty and you WanNa help others as much as you possibly can but you need to help yourself. I told Yeah you can't help anybody if you're crashing and burning yourself and if you had like a date with yourself I used to get into this cycle all the time like I'd have a workout or whatever and then I'd have the meeting opportunity that popped up and I can totally do that meeting and if I had a date instead with a friend for breakfast or lunch I would think five hundred times before canceling but but I would cancel on myself so easily but instead you have to think of that like that's a date with yourself. You have something that's already on your calendar and it's with you like we're so easy to cancel on our software software through so easy to put ourselves down you know the biggest enemy is between our ears. We talk so badly to ourselves all the time. I'm in this whole kick now that when I when my girlfriends say like I'm so fat I looked terrible or I'm the worst like stop talking about my friend like that and if somebody else talked about you like that I would punch them in the face or at gouge their eyes out like you're not allowed to talk about you like that. You are my friend. We could never be friends then. I'm sorry don't put your self deprecating and marks worst at that breath. He's actually the best at it well yeah. He's a champ but being self deprecating this issue we do with Dean all the time. He's incredibly charming and he has the ability to make everybody feel loved except himself yeah but there's the underlying psychological issues there. Oh I don't know exactly what specifically under identify them and fix them. You know like if in my car was broken. I knew what was wrong with my car. Fix It but it's broken you're not I'm not bragging. I'm just I if I were a car. It'd be broke but as a human I'm fully functioning anyways the point that I was I was trying to make was that we would not be friends because you would be very critical of my self deprecating humor all the great friend and then we could get you to a better better spot but I mean a good spot. I like. I like being self deprecating. I enjoy it. I'M GONNA play for self-deprecation but the big actually gets deeper to like you. Don't value yourself. I just did a social experiment Airmont when I had women come into a studio and had them list on a whiteboard the top five things they value and none of them wrote themselves like think about it. What would you guys right down like myself either. I don't think anyone of anybody in the studio. Now though I mean I wouldn't myself although I am underlying all of the self-deprecation and all that stuff I am one of the biggest EGOMANIAC so I think that I possibly know and so it's like a weird dichotomy between the two but I think that people don't put themselves because they're looked outwardly right like they're not trying to. They're not looking at themselves and saying me I value myself the most which they should but I think that there's GonNa looking outward more one thing. We were never taught that in school right to I think now it's starting to change our education. System is starting to change with even emotional regulation and stuff like that but growing up in elementary school I was I was never taught how to love myself totally allowed you the most bull things in school like how to dissect a frog Iraq or how did you the pedigree in therapy. Why do we need to know that in our life. I have no idea but I also think that helping others gives for me a satisfaction of joy and and so that is somewhat selfish so when I value other people I guess I kind of do value myself a little bit just because I know that by doing good it makes me feel better. So is that a self shack well. I don't think selfish is actually a criticism. That's a whole other topic I think for especially for women selfish is considered a criticism and self less is considered a compliment but part of the definition of selfish is actually having concern for your own desires and needs and I don't think that's a criticism being selfless having no concern for your own desires the needs and I think it should be the criticism about everything else so I think you can't pour from an empty cup like it's all good to be of service to other people and if that makes you feel good like Mazal Tov but everybody feel good right yeah but if you are first taken care of like you can't pour an empty cup. I think that when you are depleted you can't be service other people I also think people don't value themselves as much as they value other people because as human beings we you know as an individual I know every thought that goes through my head and and I know every act that I do and there are times where I am selfish and there are times when I do things just for myself and I think that knowing that as an individual and human even being immediately. I hate myself for that. Does that make sense even though you shouldn't and I think everybody goes through this because everybody selfish at a point right you know everybody does things for themselves and so knowing that I do that already. I think it already gives me that thought of like well. People are already. It makes me hate myself. If that makes sense guilty of course how can you not you know yeah. I mean I can relate to that. I think growing up I was someone who is. I am still such a giver but I think once I decided to take charge and what my happiness looks like an I still struggle the with that every day still struggle with like really making time for myself I haven't before I went on the show. It's been three years that I've had a solid workout and for me that was linked so heavily to my mental health. I felt so good I would eat better. I would be happier and now I'm just like Oh. It's hard for me to wake up in the morning. It's hard for me to eat better because I that part of my life. The puzzle pieces missing and I just haven't found time for it and that is such a big excuse. I think it's so easy to make excuses for yourself in life and it takes a much much stronger person to be determined to say I'm going to do this and I'm GonNa stick by for myself. Like you said time is your most valuable asset and I think people say you can't find meantime like I found balance. Balances a noun and a verb it's not hiding under the couch is not a game of hide-and-seek. It's not like find peace out and you're done. It's I use it as a verb because it's in the constantly have to work on every day so like prioritizing your workout or your gratitude journal or a Rodney mack of kindness or community like all of these things have been proven scientifically to contribute to your well being and happiness like I always go back to the data and the facts not the Wu stuff and like I'm not saying don't be a giver and don't develop community because that's actually one the biggest telltale signs of successful people that they have developed relationships and cultivated them but not at the expense of yourself. I mean think about like dating to like Hello Hello. I totally second dating. This is a part of my life that I have not figured out but I know like if I don't have my own going on like I'm not going to be a partner. You guys his. I'm assuming don't want somebody who's like all about the other person I mean for so many years. I would say well when I got married. When I find somebody then I'll go on this trip. Then I'll have that adventure sure and then I was waiting and waiting and waiting and I was tired of waiting and I just went on the adventures by myself. I went to a movie by myself. I was like this is the rattus thing ever in the first movie I saw by myself was the glass castle because nobody wanted to see it with me and I was like I really love this memoir. I WANNA go see it so I just want my first movie we ever saw by myself with Superman returns. Nobody wanted to go see it with me opening day at eleven. Am for showing the slightest yeah anyway moving forward. It's very Iran for this conversation Superman too but you should kill superman right like for you. I think this fictitious the idea that we especially as women and I had to choose women but all the advice is for everybody. I think when you're writing books you have to just pick your audience. You can't be all things to all people but the advice is for men or for women and it's this ideal that were you know trying to live up to something that is unattainable like we've leaned so so far into everything. Vanessa that ising women in particular are just falling over like we're comparing ourselves to the best versions of each aspect of our lives so like in our fitness this regime we compare ourselves like the fitness blogger that has the you know works out five hundred hours a week that's possible but whatever or we compare are. Are you know being a mom to some home. You know some woman who makes bread and home schools. Her kids and we compare our business to like some. CEO of a multibillion dollar company and they don't have the same responsibilities that we do but we try to be the best at each of those things and that's crushing us right and now it's worse than ever because because we we can tap into everyone's life and feel like we're part of it and then really feel like we can parasols through social media instagram the pictures. It's it's so hard and I relate to that too. I think people think you know they get someone's lifestyle. I remember when I was single. Mike will look at a married couple and and be like all they have the perfect relationship where I would look at something that that I didn't have and then at one point like what if they're looking at my single life silent thinking I wish I were single or I wish I had that too so that's when I started really appreciating the life that I that I have and taking advantage of it I one question that they do have though which is hard for me to do is to I feel like I'm really good at sensing people's energies but it's sometimes hard for me to like avoid. Wade having toxic people in my life. How what kind of advice can you give to someone like me. Who's like a that person is toxic. Make sure or that you do set that boundary so that they don't you know put on that negative energy and onto your life it's true. I actually had to go through my whole friend. List and friend breakup are harder than break-up breakup and a lot of cases but I really had to say just because we have history together like and you're draining my energy but you're not would actually telling your friends sorry. We're not hang out anymore or you just kind of like ghosting them as a friend. Yeah I have a whole planet in the book. Actually sometimes like you actually have to say something and sometimes you you trail off and you're protecting yourself because I'm going through this phase right now where I mean it's not really the same thing but in a sense it is I'm on following a lot of people on instagram. That aren't like motivating me me to do the things that I want to be doing. If I haven't talked a long time I still follow checking out. There are very on falling many many people because they're not adding any value L. you to my life and we don't. We don't talk regularly so there's no point in me continuing to keep up with their life right. So what do you think it's important for me to reach out to them and be like hey. I'm following you know. We need to have that conversation soot. You're saying sometimes it's necessary to have that if they bring you and they're like. Yo So I been confronted by multiple. They say hey why'd you and follow me on Instagram and I always say oh. I'm sorry I guess it must must have been a glitch in the APP or something already follow because I'm so unconfrontational that I don't want to be like I don't know. I just wasn't interested in the stuff that you're posting anymore or I don't know what what is your advice on that yeah. I mean I would just say I'm using my instagram primarily for work right now and I hope you're a while or whatever you know. I don't think you need to lie necessarily about it and most of the stuff that you probably do on social media is for work. It is but it's also it's like I still fall a friends. I was just say Oh. I'm only following travel dog accounts right now so I'm not following any human accounts dance. We feel like we have a responsibility to certain people you know for a variety of reasons and studies have shown that you need two out of three things to maintain chain relationships so shared history so if you grew up together or if you went through something traumatic together common interests of you like the same things and also an equality the end the relationship so somebody is not a march if you only have one of those things that's not. I seen -able relationships. You actually have to ask yourself if you have more than one of those things and if you don't then cut people to the curb I mean time is your most valuable asset. You can always get more money. You cannot get more time yeah. That's so hard though I mean I guess when when when it comes to friends and not that might be easier but if you're working nine to five job and you're with people who are toxic. How do you get rid of them. Or how do you distance yourself from people who are not compatible with at work yeah I mean well. It's important to have like work. homeys to the elevate you and if asymmetry is a drag on your time. I mean it's case by case dependent but I went through so when I had this total breakdown I needed to rethink basically everything and everything we've we've been told as cliche had to go back and say like is this actually applicable to me is I listed it by city and I came up with you know my notebook doc and I literally wrote down like here are the people who are good influences in my life in. La in New York and I would like stick to the list because in a time of clarity thirty I wrote down that list of people who elevate me are contributing to you know my betterment of migrant or my you know share my morals or values values or whatever and then like in a time of weakness where they're tugging at me I go back and I'm like were they on the list when I was like in this really good space and then I cross checked that we'll Nicole. I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining us today. You were quite a pleasure to have in studio guys drinking another copy. Yes another. Let's let's this go exactly. You're a cloudy thing. We'll give you one but not because you're asking for it. We're going to give it to you. Deserve it being so before we do that. Let's talk about your book that you just published great. Let's hug him coming superwoman yeah. So where do you plan to get to go from. Burn out to balance. Where can we find. If we want to grow up you guys did which is having you on the podcast okay well. That's the first step to solving right yeah. All the books are twelve step plan so you can get it wherever books are sold Amazon Barnes and Noble Other missionary wearing your wedding ring Let's relax your wedding ring in New York Barnes and right handed wedding ring that I bought myself shrinking yeah I got in a fight with my ex and I walked over to the jewelry store and when and it's the wedding section and I was like oh I'll take that one. They're like you're getting married. I'm like to myself. Here's my own credit card so becoming superwoman on shelves now it is it available on audiobook. It is I wrote. I read the whole audiobook like I never wanted to hear the sound of my voice ever ever at how long to take you a week. Bostitch took like a week and a half it was longer richmond shook about a week so for the listeners out there. If you're enjoying this beautiful voice you're hearing on this podcast and you WanNa give more of it becoming superwoman and boss Bitch. It's both available in audio book on. I'm in our heart family. Now headed just launched plug it right now. Hush Hush Money Hush Hush Money Yeah my co host is editor in Chief of Entrepreneur magazine Jason Pfeiffer and so yeah we debate taboo topics that nobody wants to talk about about money and then we bring in celebrity of this gives me one taboo topic who pays on a first date a lot. Do you lend your friends money. Do you lend your friends. That's a good one. That's a hard one. They're all hard questions and nobody wants to talk on the few share salary with your significant so many are you actually merging your bank accounts now the Mary yes another question Shen. Do you have a personal question but I think it's the right move to you got a pre-nup. Shall we have a secret account as women. Yes Siegel yeah well. What do you mean a secret account. You have your back secrets. Should a man have a secret account. If you want to have secret count I was just talking about my girls secrets. Secrets are no fun secret secrets secrets. Don't make friends okay yeah but also they don't pay the bills instagram twitter. You're on on all those things I assume right yeah wherever you can find social media or books. I am there Nicole Lapin Nicole Lapin. That's a unique full name. You can get the handle of just your the name L. A. P. I N. Lapin. Wait a minute really twitter. Are you guys see you later in the wedding ring dirt. Now thanks again guys. Is it Nicole Lapin. You could check out a book becoming superwoman simple twelve step plan to go from burn out to balance available. September seventeenth in bookstores and audio books so go check it out Cole. Thank you so much for coming in Oh. I like showers. I know it's weird thing to say but the reason I say that is because Ashley does not like showers and that's because she has to shave in the shower which really stinks six and it's just not fun. It's more like work but did you know that women shave ten times more the amount of surface area then men do which is pretty understandable because all we'll have do shave my face and I have patchy facial hair so women probably shave more than I do and also women's razors can cost up to fifteen percent more than men's. Apparently it's called the pink pink tax. That's pretty outrageous sounding to me. Which is why on this podcast. We are introducing billy. And what billy is it delivers. Premium razors has directly to you for half the price of what you'd find in the store. All you do is go to my billy. Dot Com billy's spelled B. I. L. L. E. 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I've tried cotton bamboo linen but I've just recently discovered earn. Get this rooker witness bedsheets. That's right Eucalyptus Bench seats and I can tell you they are wholly sheet. There's honor so amazing yearly. This is so much softer it's cooler than old luxury sheets and breeds which is perfect for me because I'm such a hot sleep. It reminds me of the oven whenever because I'm always super hot but this keeps me nice and cool on get such a better sneak because I really feel like I'm being embraced by the softness whenever I'm sleeping. I have the same situation I in my van. Don't have a twenty four hour air conditioning there so it gets pretty hot and there's sometimes and I'm super grateful to founded eucalyptus bedsheets because they're softer in cooler than my old luxury sheets of linen sheets in there but these are so much more breathable they are perfect for me because I am such a sleeper in that van of mine and Eucalyptus is sustainable which I love their made by an awesome company called sheets in giggles which is also hilarious so I love them. I absolutely adore them. So you WANNA try Eucalyptus sheets go to sheets GIGGLES DOT COM and look for Eucalyptus chief the sheets and giggles and I promise promise promise you will be just as obsessed as dean and I are will not together. Josh and I are and gene in his van on. You'RE GONNA love the heat's check them out dating and we have two very special guests that are on the phone right. Now you know him from his hit show catfish and their new show we need to talk which is from attention it is now on facebook watch season for floor. Schulman and Laura Per Longo Okay you've also got the bow and Cleo shelman here who might might chime in from time to time to kids correct got bright congratulations and who's the youngest. You just had a baby this past correct. That's why we have an eight month old so and almost three year old daughter wow congratulations guys. That's incredible. I mean yeah I know you. You guys are promoting. We need to talk right now. Which says on facebook watch what kind of generated the show from the star? Why did you want to do this so I had. I been working with attention for years. the guy who started our friends of mine and I was just really excited that they were making videos that were obviously social especially driven and you know with the intention of helping raise awareness about issues that needed to be talked about and my my wife and I just before we were married when she first second besides make video about how sorely companies in America needs to you improve their parental leave policies. I did so well that we started making more videos together as a couple and people seem to really respond to awesome together and we just really enjoyed working with each other so we kind of developed this idea of how do we help people in relationships you kinda figure their way through being being single being in a relationship breaking up and all sorts of stuff in between that's incredible now you guys it's about a it's like a six minute video podcasts that you can watch on facebook right where you guys answer questions. You give advice you talk about relationships. You talk about your own relationship. Yeah exactly people call in and ask us about anything and we usually don't have one answer but several answers different approaches to things it's funny 'cause even often disagree on the best routes solving uncommon relationship problems like I say I say it's okay to go definitely the modern world the modern world okay. I'm a big fan of saying friends with your ex is where Laura's not not as good as that now that'd be it might be because I don't want to be friends with her friends tragic. I would be executive. One I've remained very friendly with my long-term. X. Is Not not the short short-term ones but but meaningful relationships so we've talked about that on the podcast before and some have said that there's a bit of like narcissism that goes because I'm the same way as you leave. I believe it's important to say friendly with your xs but some people believe you're wanting to do that or your willingness to do that is because like you need that on vindication in yourself. Do you folding them back. I think you're right now. I I do think that it's my ex is holds the key to many of my own deep dark secrets though I want them on my side. I I want them to like me. We'll have they're not inspired to potentially reveal things about me that I might not keep your friends close but Laura would you be friends with Nieves. XS Two or is it. How does that work. It's a little weird. I don't hang out with them like once in a while I will communicating email or hey how you doing congrats on your new kid or whatever stuff like that apply to a story stories always thinking about that the real more. Would you be friends with me. If we broke up who yeah I would have to the hatchet. It's the kids Outta wrinkle in the kids. The business ads all types of wrinkles. I'm surprised to hear that Laura says that. ghosting is an okay thing to do in two thousand and nine thousand nine because obviously the resounding obviously everyone's on their high horse and they say no. You should never go see should provide closure for both parties but you see you said you think it's a good thing. I don't think there's way too much responsibility on people now social media to like maintain all these relationships to make sure everyone feels okay and it's just a a lot of energy that you're using on things that shouldn't matter anymore. I think it depends on how many relationships you are in right. That's true I think after a day or two is okay something if you've been waiting for a few months as no that would be kinda messed up owes. Oh someone anything after a couple of days all right doing work out move on. I think some people deserve to be ghosted. There are some weird people out there. You can go on a date with the just act weird and they just deserve to never hear from you. WanNa give them as little information about you as possible. I agree. So what else are you guys working on. You've got catfish obviously going on seven seasons that incredible nieve when you started catfish. Could you ever imagine it would have taken off and become such a pop culture phenomenon as it is now. I definitely we not but almost more astounding to me is I. This is by far the longest I've ever held a job. Nice signed at the amazed that I it almost eight years later. I'm still working on the same thing. I impress myself. Even sometimes I think that I managed to keep this thing going and say say the same thing about Dean with this podcast. I knew that I wanted to beat you. That's one of the most refreshing things I think I've heard of that but you were originally correct me if I'm wrong so there was a documentary on cat fishing that you were the central point focus of right and then we spun that up and then you became the host of the show catfish. That's right so it's actually I got catfish before. That's what it was called. my brother made documentary about it. which we know is going to turn into a thing but again we we called it catfish not even expecting that would then get turned into the words to describe the sort of active fake profile creations but at the end I ah people just started reaching out to me with all their weird wild creative stories and I note which sort of responded by saying well people need help with their situation Jason? Maybe maybe we can get so. You're saying that your brother is the one that coined the term catfish plenty technically we all dale you know all of the were part of film yeah. I'm curious because the origins wide catfish so in the documentary when we were essentially without giving away if you haven't seen it and you should not because of having to do with me because I think it's a really beautiful film but I thought I was talking to this young woman who I was falling in love with and her whole family Dan when I got finally to Michigan to meet them and discover the truth we ended up talking to other people involved including the husband of the woman who who was involved and she told us the story about fishermen using catfish in that in these giant tanks under their ships while they were spending at the to taste honey codfish that they were catching around to keep them moving and Agile Oh and and sort of Flesh Casey and what average and so in life he says there are people like that who are catfish Kinda. Keep us all getting and keep us on our toes nipping at our fans if you will and so it was sort of meant to be a beautiful metaphor for those who you might call rule-breakers or people who outside lines or think outside the box that was gonna be the word shouted at you as you walk down the street pat. I mean it's kind of turn I it's. It's like the name of modern dating you know because now there's so many different names that we talked about ghosting breadcrumbs always different meaning these these different words now taken on so many different definitions in the modern world and it really all originated with catfish show you my friend have made your staple on the history of the world. Wha well thank you. Yes even in the dictionary so Laura. Let me ask you. Have you ever been catfish fished or have you ever been ghosted because I'm curious now with your ghosting take if you've ever been ghosted. I've never been ghosted but I'm agenda plenty I ever been tapping. You know I think we were all catfish and cabbage on like early. Internet you know got rooms uh-huh on. Am You would go on and you ASL and you lie and I'm sixty nine eleven on my entire childhood was spent Cat Beijing but that's a very funny way of looking at it because you're spot on. I've definitely pretended to be someone else in chat rooms many times as a kid just bored and having fun as a kid you do so many dumb install technically judge these people but like it's the everyone the most finding can have you ever been on. I used to go on and what's the now. My mind is blanking. It was the missed connections on craigslist. Thank you good Lord. Who knows I don't know if you only go look if you feel as though you had one he went on and you have somebody introduced introduced me to this and it was like have you ever heard connections on craigslist and they would just read through them in these poor people who just thought they saw the love of their life pass asked by them at a grocery store would go on this connections on craigslist and say if the woman who is at stop and shop one. PM Yesterday was wearing a blue shirt so on me. Please respond to this because I think that we had a strong connection like Oh. It's just so heartbreaking but also addicting to read. I I mean if I'm being honest. I probably have like a mixture of every day. You might have one right now. I don't mean I don't mean the people wanting to connect with me. I I you know I every time the street. I think that person care that's not a good enough. Tease is for everybody to tune in. We need to talk on facebook. I don't know what is so. Do you guys have one common question that people always ask you about relationships that you see reoccurring occurring. I mean I think the biggest question people are asking. Should I ended that that could be also just a plethora of issues that come up but people are really are unserved themselves when it comes to continuing our relationship war for ending it and so do you think think that your background with catfish. Do you think that's hurt or helped your relationships. I'm curious about that. It's funny. I think being in a position to you discuss. Just you know 'cause we obviously the show is sort of based on online relationships that have some almond mystery to them but the actual baiting part is is minimal when you kind of get to the core of what the show which is just like people talking about how they feel and so I think on one hand it's definitely improved my listening skills because I do my best to say and in the moment the very little little time understand interpret and offer some sort of advice or something that might be helpful but yeah I mean. I think it's made me just a better person which in turn makes me a better person relationship. If nothing more nothing else more honest maybe yeah I think that's the biggest yes thank you go through all this kind of like this weird stuff especially being catfish and then it becoming so public and then hosting the show. I'm sure especially as a host. What you see? Most is people being dishonest. which only in turn makes you want to be more honest in your own personal to know me but if I'm being honest now I think being famous makes me a better person together nowadays nowadays if you're famous like you can't do anything wrong without someone known were being or taking a picture or video? You can't put it online because someone is yeah now. I am on the straight and narrow because the hakodate right there's a wannabe. There's a quote that I like that. I heard recently it says act so you can tell the truth about how you act and if you're famous people obviously always know how you act and so it just kind of how to or on the flip side of that I mean I don't know what it's like to be famous or anything like that but you he just like get away with it or whatever you want you know either have to go full head totally leaned into it and just be that or you have to be a pain and not many if you you make one mistake. You know hope that your fans will will say you know. Get your back. I took the route of just moving into van and hoping for the best and it's actually worked out pretty offer me so far to be honest feeling breads nave uneven and Laura to tell us more about where we can find you guys to watch this show because it's airing right now right season. It's season four envelope on facebook live rights outright so yeah you can find the page for the show. We need to talk by searching for we talk on facebook. we're also on there. If you want to find our pages and yeah we're supposed to episode every Friday I think in the first one just went up. And where else can we find. You guys obviously instagram twitter all that kind of stuff. I would assume yeah snapchat Laura. Laurie snapped at a lot more than I do too. Mom nonpartisan might not that's where to go. Let me go don't have talk. We don't really talk but we should. We could probably probably get on. I keep hearing everyone's always talks to talks to the younger demo every time. I hear that I just think to myself. There's a chance and snowflakes chance inhale. I ever get on Talk Doc. No I tried. I created username just so I would have it but I can't honestly cannot. I feel like a grandparent when I go on. They have no idea how exactly I'm twenty eight years old and I feel the same way I feel like. I'm don't belong anyway you guys so much for calling in and joining US appreciate it. We we will be sure to check in on the we need to talk show on attention on facebook watch yup and we're looking forward to seeing more from you guys like you said he has got some special so we're looking forward to more and we'll talk to you soon nieve Laura. Thank you all hair by guy well there. You GO DO NIEVES AWESOME I I I. I love their energy. I I will admit I have not seen we need to talk. I'm going to go binge-watch all four seasons right now because they're captivating to listen to even right off the bat. She's like I think you should goes people and he's like I think you should be friends with your ex and I'm like I love them. Both just so raw on I never saw I've never seen we need to talk. I've never seen the documentary that need was on but I've seen quite a few episodes a catfish nieve and it's funny to you. We'll talk to him. Now I wish or maybe we had to come into the studio. It'd be a lot of fun. I wish you both in studio. If you WANNA it'd be funny actually is if his or him or his. Pr People what's up like in person interviews and then showing up to the interview would be someone completely different. He would catfish interview. that's such a liar united publicize the needs to happen now stage. If you're listening to this and honestly why wouldn't you be do that and give me fifty percents like on live with Kelly and Ryan you know it was like a big stage like that and they like hype up entrance and out Walks Dean from paradise and it seems like now I'm nieve guys. What are you talking about. That would be very a that'd be fantastic teen anyways. That'll do it for this. Week's episode of help. I suck at dating big. Thank you to everyone involved. Vanessa Jared nieve Laura Laura Nicole Wow. We had a lot of people in today. Thank you to our sponsors as well. We couldn't be here with that shoe but most importantly we couldn't be here the listeners so thank you to you. You guys be sure to tune in next week where we're GONNA be recording live from Las Vegas Nevada Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas never stays in Vegas. Don't believe actually when you record a podcast because because then just gets broadcasts the entire world we look forward to that. We are going to talk about things and stuff that you're not gonna WanNa Miss cool-store eyebrow anyways be sure to tune in then because maybe we'll suck a little bit less follow help I suck at dating with Dean Vanessa Jared on iheartradio or wherever you listen to podcasts Ah Wu Tang and American saga is based on the true story of the Wu Tang clan setting the early nineties New York at the height of the crack cocaine epidemic the show tracks two clans formation the Wu Tang clan is released five gold and platinum albums. The group is often hailed as one of the most influential groups in the history of hip hop what are unique sound and distinct image based on the formation of the most influential group in hip hop history. Wu Tang an American saga now screaming with new episodes every week only on Hulu.

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