Dear Britney, Im Sorry.
The phone rang. Podcast is a deer media production. Hey guys i'm whitney port and this is with with a lot of you may know me from reality. Tv and the reality is a lot's happened since the hills with wet is dedicated to having real raw and occasionally ridiculous conversations with the people who have had a profound impact on me because on with very little off limits. Subscribe so you don't miss any of the amazing conversations to come new episodes of with where are available every on all platforms. Hey girl hey. Welcome back to my weekly podcast taste of taylor. I'm your host taylor strecker and right now let me introduce you to my guest it's Yeah today i'm going to do a solo. Podcast a lot of podcasters now. This is the trends. The thing are doing the solo podcast. And yeah i mean. I saw caddy harrington wearing army pants and flip flops so i went out but our beds watering know. What i'm saying. It's funny. I talk a lot for a living and i've talked a lot for many years and even though i did a four hour talk radio show no music some commercials but all in all four hours monday through friday for years at the ass crack of done. I am still intimidated by a solo. Podcast i don't know what it is. Maybe i'm just conditioned to always have somebody to bounce off of but fellow podcasters have been doing it. So i'm like you know what i have to do a solo podcast but it's gotta be something that i'm an expert in. It's got to be something that. I feel a passionate about so when this britney spears documentary popped up. I mean everybody is talking about it when this airs. They'll still be talking about it. There will probably be developments. But you know we're only a few days off at this point. And i have so many strong opinions from this new documentary. That basically came out late last week. And i just was like this is it. This is where you will do. Your solo podcast. I'm old enough that like you spring chickens. I remember britney like with semi adult adolescent brain. You know what i'm saying so don't try to figure out my age by the things. I'm going to tell you my phantom and my journey with britney spears. But i was in high school when britney i came on the scene and it was. I don't remember if i must've been watching tv. And i probably saw the hit me baby one more time. It's actually not him. Maybe it's baby parentheses. One more time it came out on mtv. I saw it. And i mean. I promise you that i had no idea. I wasn't a closeted teenager center. Even adult i thought was straight. But the way i felt about britney spears should have been an indication of things i was. You know what it was with birth name. And it's funny. Because my fiance taylor. And i talk about this all the time. Because she genuinely didn't know that she was gay either. Until i would probably say for her college me obviously late in life lesbian. If i know. I can hear people screaming. We know we know you laid live lesbian. You guys we knew listeners. All the time blessing believe. I have to keep up to date. Geez i see myself as it's truly amazing anyway so tena we've talked about before that we didn't realize that we were gay but like the way that we were crushing like a celebrity. Or like i don't know like an older girl or something probably should have been an indication and the way i felt about britney spears was i mean i was obsessed but i always say we didn't realize it was sexual. We just thought like we wanted to be them so for me. It was. I was never like i have a crush on that girl. It was more like. Oh my god. I wish i were blake lively and ironically my fiance looks along like blake lively humble brag and i do realize now that i what's in love with blake lively so i guess i knew longer deep deep deep deep down inside then i realized that was me for brady. Brady amount of my. I don't wanna say sexual awakening. But if i'm really being honest here. Yeah i mean i did have a crush on george michael again sugar known i was like he is the manley as mad and hawk the landon. I love him and i will grow up to marry man just like him so with brittany. I was just. I was that age i was fourteen fifteen ish. I'm a couple years younger than her and she was just. I don't know what it was. I mean this song. The single baby. Boomer time was so provocative. We all know that i mean the male fantasy. Right it was like a like a softcore porn video sensually. She's she really checking all the boxes of hidden everybody's sexual interests and this the other thing too. That is interesting. she. I remember thinking. Oh i like she looks like me like girl next door wearing abercrombie and fitch but it was also like a body type thing like she was fit as look and how to kill her body but like when she first came out like she was a normal teenager. She you know like i. You re remember. I hated my legs grow up because they were like athletic and muscular and then it was like oh that bishops. Some thighs on her. She's thick like me but like that's the thing is growing up i didn't have any quote unquote like normal looking thick role models i had the olsen twins and they were like toddlers sexually attracted debris but in my mind it was like oh like being sexiest thing. That isn't horrific. And i wanna dance like that. And i want to dress like that and i think i wanna be like that. So from the jump of. I was a huge fan. I'm such a fan. This is how you know. Someone's a real fan of brittany spears a guy at least early years so i went down with my friend kristen. We got an a. Rollerblades and we went down to walgreens and not with strip mall growing up and i was like i have to get britney spears single because this is the time where you girl cds and the only came out like a singles at walgreens. At least you had to go to like a best. Buy to get the full album. So i got a single and there was a bonus track on the single and i would play this shit you guys till it just scratched up and wouldn't play anymore. I was in my bedroom. Doing the dance moves singing along imitating british voice and after baby one more time autumn. Goodbye you got. It came on and it like such a deep brittany track. And if you don't know it and hopefully can find it. It's fucking amazing. And if you know a bomb to happing you that said he would but some lab keeping swamp long after on goodbye goodbye artem goodbye and the tons of our is and the swedes. So much Truce of sabir chew. Okay i'll stop. Please please be listening. Still sorry i did that anyway. Big brittany fan. When i was in college in sleep for came out. Cause i remember going to the gym because i hate working out and i was going to the gym and britney was my gyms peration. Okay like i would listen to slay for you on repeat though and i would run on the treadmill an actual running speed and the only thing that got me through like forty. Five minutes on the treadmill was bernie. I was like. I will look like her and it was like. I was rocking. You know my my mom and dad knew more guys. Whatever i wanted to wear. So i was wearing the low cut seven jeans. They were tied tie with a little. Bit of flared bottom. Like i know you're going to be like no. You weren't where i'm not bragging and i'm not delusional. I had a brittany spears body. I did i did. I did i had like medium sized bubis nothing to write home about but like a fucking flat washboard stomach and like an a booty and a guy and like i was pretty brady was me. I mean modest. The blonde hair. But i was like i could channel brittany vibes. Good booty and that flow flat. And i remember he kissing college. I thought i was like so cool. And i'm like oh my god. I listened to like jam bands. I go to mow down to the fact britney still held space in my mind mean something again. I was still a fan. I never fell off. And it was while i was in college. I got tickets to go see her in concert. On whatever that tours it was in two thousand i think it was four and she cancelled her north american tour because of a knee injury but then we kind of all found out. That baby have more so to do with kevin farrell line in i before the concert before the council i was going with a friend of mine. And don't forget. Because i'm like potentially of drinking age at this point i'm like early twenties. Maybe twenty one. Like i could buy beer at a britney spears concert so i was like trying to pick out like my scandalous out that i was going to wear to the show. Channeling bernie and i found this bag and this point of my life. I was an adult. I knew better than to purchases. But i when this is how big of a frigging fan i was. There was a store that sold like chachi. Which i hate but anyway in this moment for whatever reason i walked in and there was this purse it was literally like a stop and shop shopping bag. Okay that was dak- paused in tabloid pictures cutouts of brittany spears like all over. It like serial killer vibes and then they attach like this like sills like fake silvery like ball chain on either side of it to make a purse out of it and i was like oh my god in the bag for the britain's spears convert because i mean that is true psychotic santa like i was wearing a bag the basically said it was a serial killer wall bag to show britney spears much i loved her and then it got cancelled i was fucking livid but i still love the bitch but it was like right after my call years at shit started to go downhill real quick. Kafe ed right. And it's not all cases fall but like that's when she had the kids and that's when their divorce happened and so then there were all this cusi shit and that's like when she shaved her head and then had that horrible. Gimme more performance. Oh my god of the vietnamese. I was so upset. But i still like loved her and then a couple years later i was working in radio. It's interesting because you know. I'm a sense to sally. And people like superman things and like barbie terrible views for my podcasts radio show and things like that and it hurts my feelings and talk about it a lot. Not here on tiller. But i'm radio. Show al screaming and call them out for being to me and i get a lot of. Dm's from those assholes and they'll say things to me like well. Taylor like youtube matched celebrities and your our celebrity like you talk shit about the housewives. And you're the housewives to us. So like i mean really. Isn't that hypocritical view. And that question. I see yes. Hello heavy met my name. Is tony sugar. I'm highly hypocritical. But the difference is is first of all those housewives fucking you most of them loaded okay so that's not fair that we have to be a different playing field on one another but touche to bring up the fact that yeah i do. I talk like when your radio talk shit for living. You know. I mean to some degree and in the beginning years when i worked at serious and all this was going on with brady. I definitely jumped on the bandwagon of like making fun of brittany and not taking it seriously. Just being like that girls crazy in mine and everybody else's defense. It was a different time right. We weren't super pc and we didn't understand mental health and talk about it socially that we do now but i definitely still loved brittany but talked plenty of shit about her. I wasn't compassionate. I wasn't sensitive and it was just like. Oh brady's lost her mind. She lost her hair. She lost her mind. She has lost their marbles. But like that's what we all did right and we thought nothing of it and that was like at this point. We're talking like two thousand and six. I was like fuck and fourteen. Let's let's call it a decade right like that. I've been like covering britney and talking about her like maybe not being oversensitive but still being a fan. I even over the christmas break. So i was driving him to. My parents in boston and i was looking for pockets. Let's do and my family. And i listen to this. Britney spears podcast. I actually promoted it on. This show taste of taylor. It was an ad but we listen to it and it was fascinating. And i felt like i got a glimpse of course. It's like i know the novel. I know that memoir. That is britney spears to a degree but even listening to this podcast. It was fascinating because they did such a deep dive into her early life. That i really never knew about it. And they really got candid about her dad. Jamie who we now know is her in charge of her conservatorship. And it was the first time i've ever heard the perspective that like jamie's maybe not a good dude. You know like. I thought he was kind of like stage parents or whatever but this podcast went deep into like you know his troubles with alcohol and money and just like his behavior in the fighting with lynn and like what. The kids were subjected to brittany. Especially so. That was the first time i was like. Oh damn maybe there is something to this like hash tag free brittany movement. This episode or taylor is brought to you by birch box love birch box. Because your girl duty. Exper- would be overstatement to describe me really what it boils down to is that most of us won't as simple and personalized way to explore our pudi options. Especially if you're like me and you're less let's say beauty. Obsessed and a little bit. More as birch box puts it beauty casual. So if you don't know birch boxes service that exists to simplify all of the beauty and green products. 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Where i got sucked into the freebritney movement and i started to like do the conspiracy theories and it's like oh my god she's like somebody said wear yellow and today. She's wearing a yellow peasants schuermann walking back and forth in front of the camera on her instagram story. And she's speaking to us. She needs help. And i got real sucked into it and then like all. This news started coming out about the conservatorship. And you know all this legal legalese. That i couldn't decipher whatsoever. But i kind of was like okay. Listen she's not mentally well. Mental health is a real issue. Her parents are probably doing the best that camera the circumstances. I'm sure we don't know the full story. I believe and i talked about this. With what am i co host. Darren carb we have talked about this idea of fame and when someone becomes famous they're almost like stuck at that age forever. So we're talking fame so darren. She's andy cohen's assistant amongst many other things but she was saying how like annie's pretty well adjusted or andy is well adjusted. Because he became famous like when he was in his late forties or fifties so he was a full blown. It does the time fame had him. So you're more well equipped for it but when you're like a child like that's why allowed child stars don't make it out of hollywood. I mean normal is because the fame hits these formative years. He's really important years. And that's kind of why it irreversibly fucks them up forever and the ones that get out it's like blasts through the hard work of their parents or themselves but i feel like they're the exception to the rule not the norm so let's look at brittany. She hit her fame at sixteen. Seventeen ish maybe like eighteen. And so when i look spears instagram like well. She's just started as eighteen year. Old luger instagram. She dresses like she's literally into the early. Two thousands same with the hair and the makeup. You know like the subject matter is very teenage ary and i kinda just shot up to like well. That's just brittany. She's like she's really good at dancing is like like not amazing singing but like she's an entertainer. She's the whole package and like she's hot. she's got a flat stomach still. That's just like what brittany is like. She just kind of i guess in my mind i kinda thought. She was just like an entertaining. Puppet it's not nice. But that is how i felt in so with all the conspiracy theories i was like that was just conspiracy theories those people are crazy. We'll cut to this week when my eyes were wide open. And it's this documentary. That's on hulu and if you haven't watched it you have to watch it even think you know everything. There is to know about britney. I m promising you that you actually don't and this is an ad by the way this is legit like i. Been in a britney spears. He'll ever since. I saw this documentary. So basically it covers britney's life and it covers like the way. The paparazzi played a role in kind of her demise. And again you're not gonna learn a ton of new things about britney in her life because we were all there watching it. I mean reading it in the weekly tabloids reading on press hilton dot com watching it in front of our very eyes. But don't forget through the lens of third party people right through the narrative third party. People like it occurred to me watching this dog like if britney spears were at our height of fame now right would she be where she is today or would it be different because shoe being controls the narrative and i know you're thinking taylor used seen her instagram. So we beginning that even younger age. But here's the deal and the documentary. I firmly believe because they interviewed people that were close to her. And there was. I think it was a backup dancer. Somebody who was on tour author and he was like if you think for one second britney is a puppet. You have another thing coming. He's like she is so in control for brand and control decision-making when it comes to her career like she is a boss bitch and she is a powerhouse and she is respected by the people that work with her and around her sort of think that like she's did who kind of people just like plays on stage and it's just like wander up and she dances. It's actually not the case at all. If this guy is telling the truth. And i do believe he was. And that was the first time i've ever seen brittany as somebody who at one point. Time was a control. And they show like all of these interviews with her with like matt lauer and fucking diane sawyer who's like infuriatingly bias and opinionated and just like shaming her and. It's wild because even though i'm a fan of britney's i don't remember that coverage because that was like the coverage for the conservative parent. You know something. That's very interesting is britney spears. Higher fame came out at a crossroads where there was a whole clinton scandal and that was the first time that we were really talking about like saks. Oral sex. i guess that openly and pop culture. And so i think britney got sucked into this idea of like arcades are being oversexed right arcades. Being ne- i was one of those kids and for whatever reason britney became the scapegoat like she became the poster child of the girl. The vampy sexed up girl and while that is a part of her dancing in her outfits. Were like you know. Ray say i think it's a pretty sweet normal girl and when she would do these interviews. She became these hardening questions. Like why wasn't she a better role model for the youth of of america. And i am telling you britney answered with composure. She answered with eloquence. If that's even a word britney would know. She's fucking smarter than me and she like. She was very impressive. Especially under such intense shaming and scrutiny. And it's like i almost forgot. It's it's almost like debris brittany with the umbrella shaped head. I don't even remember anymore even as a fan its alone was like i forgot her. It was almost like all remember is brittany. Who did like you know school. It's like she went from schoolgirl outfit with pom poms till like immediately slave for you and life was like up in the clear. Doing god knows what and then like kissing madonna like. That's in my brain. My little feeble brain that is kind of the representation of her and there is so much more to britney spears the talented pop star the boss as businesswoman. That like we all forget. And i think we don't give credit for. This is why. I love this documentary. That new york times presents has its on hulu. Check it out because it showed aside to britney that. I think it won't be like. Oh my god. I never knew this. It'll be oh. My god i forgot this. Or oh my god. I guess i was too young to process this. And it's really. It's a deep look into sex ism. it's a deep look into the impact. The paparazzi and tabloid culture had on celebrities and us. It's honestly a deep look at our country at america at our society in the way that we treat celebrity. And i don't know about you. And i can't speak for everyone but my fiance looked at me when i was watching this with her and she said i can't believe how can all these people do this to her. You know and i looked at the is and i burst into tears and i was like i'm one of those people and i mean on a small scale yeah of course say brittany fan but on a small scale and debris spears ever hear that. I was making fun of her. I wake up a taylor on sirius. xm radio. i don't think so. But what she did. And i feel like a fucking piece of shit i really do like i could honestly burst into tears right now. Thinking about the way. I fell after watching the documentary and if for nothing else you'll learn more about britney i think it will bring i hope it brings about compassion and i think at the core of the most important thing at least for me that the documentary did it made me tap into my self awareness and like bed. Shaw like you weren mean and you made jokes at the expense of somebody who was going through such a hard time. I would be a liar. I didn't partake in some of that stuff. And it really is interesting now because we're going through this wave of massively pc culture which i am here for i am here for us evolving and becoming better as a society okay however within that evolution and growth with the good parts. There are some bad and what some bad parts are. I see like even on a small scale in my own. Little worlds are people being hypocrites and not taking responsibility for the things that they weren't necessarily a part of you know it's very easy to sit back and point your fingers at all. These celebrities are doing things that you agree with. But i bet if a lot of those people to look in the mirror they would be like ooh will i will. Maybe i did something similar to that or you know. God that reminds me of the trauma did x. y. and z. And i'm ashamed. I'm so happy there wasn't a fucking spotlight on me when that occurred and i wonder how many people are gonna watch documentary and be like jane. We're gonna watch documentary be like diane sawyer is a bitch guy laura. I knew matt lauer was a piece of shit up. Paparazzi disgusting justin timberlake. I hate him. He's such a dick. But i really wonder how many people are going to walk away like me and young. Give myself a fucking pat on the back. I love therapy. I try to be self aware. I'm not perfect. I'm fucked up a hypocrite. I make mistakes. I am flawed. But i like to take responsibility for the shit that i do. I like traffic ownership over this shit that i've done wrong. How can i grow. If i can't acknowledge the first step into resolving an issue is to admit that you have a problem or that you were part of the problem that you contributed to the problem. It's washes documentary like it was a fucking therapy session with myself. I don't know if near times intended it to be that case but if you did bravo well done. Because i was like i was a part of this. And so many of us were part of british demise. And here we're gonna we're gonna sit on our pillars of judgement being home. That was so fucked up. What happened to bernie poor bernie. I can't believe everybody treated her like that. Guess what you probably did too. So if you follow me on instagram you probably saw that i posted a slide. I was like dear brittany. I'm sorry and i know earlier. This courtney love and a bunch of other celebrities. Were kind of coming out saying britney where. Sorry i get what that is. It's like the freebritney movement has gone on for a long time. I mean chris crocker that guy he is. He is a profit so ahead of his time. Right cleave brennan alone. Remember how much we have to him. I mean he was lying. Leave her alone. Go to sleep go to sleep. Everyone in leave britney alone. Another thing that i took away from. His documentary was holy shit. Those freebritney people like usually they're just crazy. Conspiracy theorist but i was like. Oh shit those freebritney people. They knew what they were talking about. She the because she was looking for help shit. I envied them for being so or die and so steadfast and so like protective over our girl brittany. She's genuinely a national treasure. She is going back and watching all the she accomplished and when she accomplished it and then she fell so far and like a fuck in phoenix rising early as she came back with like circus and our vegas residency still the queen of the world and the reason. We don't see britney spears anymore is because britney spears has said. She's not going to work until her. Conservatorship is maybe not even over but at the very least at her dad's not the one in charge and y'all this shit is real like she in some fucked up shit. And i remember a time where i was around a lot of people with a lot of money in money makes people do really fucked up shit okay. That's what i can say and trust me. I still find myself like looking at trust fund babies early people born to wealthy families or these celebrities that make all this money. I'm like omega lifeless though budge is there but the reality is yeah having like some money definitely helps. But i think that there's a point where the wells just gets to be so prevalent and out of control that it starts to. It's just like power and money and fucked up nece and like dad is what britney spears is in in. There's a world in the world of money where this shit that britney is experiencing. It happens to people. You know like people mary into money and they have to sign all these papers about like you. Know for maybe. Let's say like life insurance. I'm speaking i pathetically. And then they realize that they're gonna have what's that word what's conservatorship and then. They watched britney spears documentary. And they're like thank god inside that paperwork like really. This is like some the ship that rich people do. Or when there's money people getting gauged in and it's been anna's and when britney you know signed onto under the conservatorship. I think she was doing it to get her kids back. And now she's like stuck in and it's really hard to reverse it once you're in it and it's just crazy to me that it's taken me this long to see it. I want to issue a formal apology to brittany the queen of my world. Thank you for giving me on the treadmill. You know what i'm going to have you get me back on my peleton now and like bernie. I m sorry lemme issued apology. I think we should all law issued an apology for mystery new over the years now believing over the years thinking it was you over the years not having compassion for you over the years making you a punchline over the years i mean this woman is she's incredible. She's a superhero. She's gone through so much shit she'd been to hell and back and she is still thriving now. I know we have to work on her instagram. But i have a very solid theory. That once britney out of the conservatorship and i believe she will out of it. We are going to get to here. Britney's full side of the story. We're only still here in half the people. There is so much more to be told and like felicia not by felicia heartfully shah. This is britney's like basically assistant chaperone kind of like second mom big sister figure if you will she believes that britney will come out of this and we'll have an opportunity to speak and i m so here four because i think this is a story that's going to blow our minds and i think that britney's actually way more of a role model than any of us even realize she's been to hell and back and she's still standing. Yes she's rolling up her boxer briefs and showing that mid drift. I mean hey honey. If i had flown to and she's spinning around around but she's dancing to kill time until she can get on a fucking platform and spit some truth. I think that the brittany we're seeing right now. I think it's just a facade to get through until she can actually speak her mind. And i think she's going to go down in history as being like a pinnacle of female empowerment. I know i know if you've watched a documentary. You know what. I'm talking about if you haven't watched a documentary. You think i sound insane right now but i'm telling you it is. It shook me to my core. Am i getting a little too sucked in taking this a little too seriously. I don't think so. If i'm being honest. I think at the end of the day. We have all been disrespecting britney spears in our different ways for many many years might some might even say decades. But i think that there's gonna come a time where we all realize that we need to respect brittany. I mean i can tell you this. If i was in her shoes i would have given up a long time ago. I get one mean. Tm on instagram. And i literally go off it for three weeks okay. This girl is like her. life isn't even her and she is spin and she has pop and she has locking all through instagram all day everyday. She's creating her own little fashion shows. She's just trying to keep yourself busy until she has time to speak her mind. And i'm here for it so this is like honestly this podcast dear brittany. I am so sorry. I will never doubt you again. I will never question things again. I will never blame you for this again. I am on your side and queen. I am so here to watch you yet again. Like phoenix from the ash. Okay now let me. Just get off the soapbox. I'm standing on and yeah that's it. I'm gonna leave you guys with that. I'm going to go listen to arm goodbye. Because that's what my soul needs right now. And let bernie be a lesson to all of us okay. I think it's time that we stop putting celebrities especially female celebrities on such pedestals and stop forcing them to be role models when they're just fucking people trying to get through and i'm holding myself to that standard but housewives out just kidding no. I'm just kidding i'm kidding. I'm kidding we know they're not role models. I'm just kidding. There's so many housewives that i love The ones that you know you are love. I respect and love you. The ones who. I don't love. Though i these roles not apply and you guys. That is for us this week. I should say for me this week. Please make sure to rate review and subscribe to the podcast and also follow your girl on instagram. At taylor strecker i. I literally hired a coach for instagram. Yeah i did She's my friend and she's a comedian and treatment jesse joel's and she's amazing and she is helping me out with my personal instrument page because yeah i need to coach But please please. Follow me. At taylor strecker. I'm working very hard over there. With my coach. My russian gymnastics coach. So please check it out and the that's a frost guys until next week.