One Night in Perez
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Or wherever you get your podcasts wind down with janet kramer and maple radio podcast rights. So is the big week coming up. I start filming monday. we're officially out of quarantine. I'm excited to film. Yeah i think we all are. I mean that in like you know we're talking about we're out of quarantine it's like okay. Now the work begins right now it starts and so you know i'm excited for you to work. I'm excited for the project. You're doing because it's different you I'm excited to sat. I'm excited to bring the kids and everything. So it's if they let the can't come. I hope so. I don't know But we retreat. We do have a treat. And i'm trying to pull it up right now because i wanna just like be one thousand percent on it and i'm not on it this morning because of harry up so i think it was. What was the other day you were kind of having your own Your own time. And i was doing my thing and i was just rare. Rarely go on. Twitter rarely rarely But i follow pres- hilton. And i saw this thing from him so basically something that we talked about on one of these podcasts. About i think it was when we we're talking with lisa turkey rest and we're saying you know i trust you today And then basically just saying so. The headline was jana. Kramer still doesn't fully trust husband. Mike costin after cheating scandal and then his comment was just get divorced already. So i was just like you know feeling a little spicy fraud on a little froggy. And i was like now so i recorded it back and said when you don't know the ins and out about addiction. The work we continue to do. You shouldn't speak on it. We are open because we're helping people do the work to become stronger. We we have so no. Thanks not gonna divorce a good man and and then he said but how can you stay in a relationship when you don't trust him Which i get very valid. But i never said i don't trust you. I just said i trust you today. And which has got me thinking a little bit more. And then i kind of went on a twitter rant. One a little like crazy twitter at knows like apparently everyone has a picture. Perfect relationship as h. Now it's just like scratching my head and then shooting her okay either. Luneta slaughter scratching scratching. It's shaking it's like okay. I guess i'm the only isn't that was scratching my eastern affirmative arthur all affirming in comments in eastern just said. Wow so that's cool. okay. Well i thought it was scratching because he knows like like scratching fm l. Forget my lunch. Shy i you know me. I always scratching my head like hall like come on a little bit so guess nut. That's fantastic. Forgot my lunch. I forgot marwan's fm l. okay. Well anyways so i was scratching my head. I've read as a major. And then i was like you know what. Why don't you just say to our faces. You know if you wanna tell us to divorce. Let's come on a podcast and talk. Because and then he basically said to in another comment he said He said Basically that we do it for attention and headlines and that one really bothered me. I didn't say anything to him. He was the podcasts. That fuels all these headlines. They reveal intimate details and thoughts for listenership and detention stings. I kind of want to have a conversation about that. Because i wouldn't i don't we don't do this like not like we want what. Here's here's what i want. 'cause it's not for attention the only attention that i would say i'd want is for someone to say. They're working on their marriage. How awesome is that. But here's the deal. Who would click on that right. That's not quick pay. That's why we don't write the tabloid headings. Yeah but they just pick the likes us. Todos entrust him right. If we were to ride the tab were headings. React that wow. They're fighting for their marriage. It's going great like beth. We were right. Yeah well. But i don't i just thought it'd be interesting to bring him on to talk about kind of the arts interlinked bates stuff and you know. Get because he thinks we're hot messes so i think it's just something where we can. I don't wanna like sell ourselves. But i also wanna you know. Get to know us. We write about moon. Okay okay welcome president at carmax. We're pretty flexible with how you can buy a car if you'd rather scroll through fifty thousand cars instead of walking the lot. Go for it if you want to see how. A car smells on the lot before you buy it by all means. We all have our things. Want the whole thing to come to you without ever leaving home by online. Compare how the speaker sound when playing your favourite mixed visit our lot and if you wanna browse a little on the lot and in select markets never delivered at home. We're certainly not stopping. You carmax the way. It should be ever buy something and then regretted pants. They fit great at the store. But after a while you avoid sitting in them they're itchy and the windshield wipers are hard to find. Okay we're talking about cars here. That's why carmax introducing the love your car guarantee with twenty four hour test drives and a thirty day money back guarantee so you can take a car home and get comfy with it because sometimes you just don't know it fits until you fall asleep on your couch and sorry talking about pants again. Carmax which should be fifteen hundred mile limits carmax dot com for details. Hello laura hello how are you. I'm very happy to good day today. 'cause it's my son's birthday he's eight and also yesterday was their first day back at school. Eleven months wow. That's a good day for you. Three kids at home for eleven months. And what are the ages for the kansas will. My son just turned eight today and my middle child. She's almost six. And my youngest is three and i just know that they miss their friends. They miss getting out of the house. they don't focus as well at home against so easily distracted and eventually they'll catch up with learning but it's not just the learning and academics everything else the socializing with friends safely that they're now doing it's every thing and i'm just so relieved. I feel bad though because even some schools in los angeles have not opened yet. Mine is one of the later ones and there's still a lot more that haven't opened yet. yeah we have so our kids are we have a five year old jolie and then we have a two year old jason. They go to half days to preschool. But even so. I started to feel guilty because child. The preschools are pretty much. Open in nashville. But so i felt a little guilty in the same time. I'm like no. I need those. We need those two days to like have some sanity and get work done in. Live our life to raise. The kids need those days. They need those that familiarity with routine and and getting to know kids and playing with other kids other than just mom and dad all with most of it. But that is not why we have you on here. Let's get to it so correct me. If i'm wrong but in many ways your podcast is kind of like a reality. Tv show right In theory it kind of is because it is a look into our daily lives where we don't really hold back on our experiences with each other and with things that we do with our lives so yeah that's safe to say okay so when you open yourself up like this. It's i think an invitation for people to listen and participate and have opinions. So i have opinions but i'll park my opinions for aside and say this and once again correct me if i'm wrong i would guess if all of a sudden some billionaire said you know i listened to your podcast and i love what you guys do and i want you to. Just not have to do it if you don't want to. I'm gonna give you a hundred million dollars. go with me. If all of a sudden you got a hundred million dollars offered to you would you continue doing your podcast as it is now. Yes he doesn't believe you why 'cause here's the thing it's and we've gotten a common before like that you said about attention or money or whatever from us sharing our story and for us. Where like if that's the case. Where's the money. 'cause we ain't seen it. I mean steering punk doing good right but it's not our. It's not our bread and butter. It's not what keeps a roof of our head right as much as annoying as it is at times in her flat times for people to say maybe negative comments. I mean we're used to it. Whatever it happens that one person or those couple people that come to us actually signed a couple. It's a lot that come to us and say y'all being so open has really helped my marriage who has really helped my relationship. Wars allowed me to be more honest with my spouse or my partner those moments or there's moments when we did our live shows and we'd have couples crying to us being like you know what you guys are doing. Our help is helping our relationship. That's intangible that's priceless. You can't put a you know You can't put you can't monetize that you know. Is this something that means so much to us. Because we've been able to have a platform to receive. That said the flip side to that question is has doing the podcast helped or hurt your relationship a good question so i will say in the very beginning it was. The podcast was huge. It was because you know we were still in the healing process. And we were doing the and he didn't wanna talk about it. Like i had written a book before you know. We did a book together. And i want to talk about you know my relationship that i was in. I wanted to talk about you. Know finding out about the affairs and and he was like i don't want you to and he he ripped it up ripped up all the pages and was just like you are not putting this out and i'm like michael. Here's what you don't understand. I was like people are going to write that. You cheated about me in every single article that comes out there. It's always going to be there. The headline will always say well. He cheated on her. And that's what it's going to be. I was like. I want to change the narrative. I wanna say. look at how. They've grown in their working together but also because when he cheated on me and he went to rehab. I had nothing. I had no books to read that. I could relate to. I had nothing i was like. I need to know that. I am not the only person out there that has that feels completely alone devastated and still wants to stay with him because i love him like that i still i want hope somebody please give me some hope but i feel like i can stay with this man freaking hate him but i still love him. Carmody years ago was that now are avenue. A half years ago five years ago sixteen so five years ago. Yeah that you went those discovery. Yeah so i. I saw recently that you said he's still don't trust him five years later. Maybe i heard that out of context. Is there some trust a little trust. No trust because i was just thinking like god if five years later they're still no trust or there is you. Don't trust him. Five years later get divorced. And i still stand behind that statement like i couldn't i would be walking on eggshells like hiring private detectives and would that make me happy like i'd rather be alone and be singling co parent healthily as friends. Wish that former partner. Mind nothing. But the best. And i'm all for rebuilding trust when i heard five years later. You still don't trust him like my head exploded okay. So here's the thing that i am one thousand percent on the same page with you. I agree with you on that. When i talked to my therapist about trust. And that's been one of the hardest things for me too. Because i do. I do trust you. i do trust my husband. The problem is is that because he is an addict he can never say that he'll never do something again. Now peres if something happens again. I'm i'm out like there's only so much that i can personally handle. And he knows that and and the thing is to it hasn't been like a completely clean I haven't had a clean slate from five years ago. I've done things along the way and physically not physically. But i've done things to still Give reasons not to trust me along the along the time line of five years so it's not like ever since five years ago i haven't told one lie. My behaviors been completely different. Like i've never done anything to mess. Anything up its we've had my bumps you know i've had my bumps in recovery of had my bumster. Whatever yes. I've never acted out of our relationships. You know sense all that happened. But you know the still reason why it's that way and it's hard 'cause i've times like you're saying peres where i'm like you know in my head. I want to be like five years ago but then after remind myself. Well i've done things to cause mistrust along the road. And i think what i'll say to that. Is you know there was a time. After are all that stuff where i told my therapist i go all i do is just look at his phone and i hate it and i don't want to do it and i don't wanna live my life like this. And then she goes then stop. Stop doing those things and you're just gonna have to let it go and it's on him. You have to start trusting him. So that's why i say in in what was a little context with that interview was i said i do trust him today because i see he's showing up. He's in recovery work. He's doing you know he's he showing up today as a husband is a man in recovery. Tomorrow i pray to god. He does but i can't control his recovery. I'm just gonna wake up tomorrow. And i'm going to trust them until he basically you know that something would happen so jerry you've been you've been speaking to your therapist. I would assume now for a while. I'm curious since your podcast is all about being open. You mentioned a few moments ago that prior to be with michael. You're in an abusive relationship. did that one affect your desire to stay in this one which off from the outside might not seen like the most healthy for you Is that something that you've talked about with your therapist. we have. here's a little tidbit too. I actually met him at the coffee. Bean on in fairfax which was the same one that you would sit at. Because i would go to that sunset bax coffee being every day for like six years because i was living on that side of the hill and i just remember too like you were just in your computer like chilling at the you know and i remember my friend. Deanna like that's press hilton. He's you know. And i was like that's perez hilton but i ended up. I met I met my abuser at bat. Coffee bean and we've done a lot of worker out that you met your therapist. I was smiling. Oh my god. I would not have been smiling. If that's your abuser mc. Look no i met. I met him there. And i will say it was. I've done a lot of work with my therapist around. That and honestly. I will say the first reason that i stayed and this is not the reason to stay at all but it was for my daughter I had a five month old at the time. And and here's the crazy thing was when he was in rehab as much as i hate them. I still wanted to. I wanted to read his letters. I wanted to see what he had to say. And i will never advocate for staying in a bad relationship if he was continuing to act out physically and breaking boundaries. And lying to me. Twenty four seven. I am the first person to say. Get out do. Don't you deserve better than that. If he would ever hit me. I will never stay in a relationship. Where i'm physically mentally verbally abused. I just can't stand for that. And so i have stayed a lot first and foremost for my kids but i also at the point. Now our i know my worth. I know what i deserve. And you know i won't stand for anything else but there was also that love their that i you know i know i knew he wanted to be a better man and he just took him a little while to get there so i'm curious because you're so open and i love that i'm very open to. You could ask me anything. I love talking to a very open people because not often you get data so you know you talk about your relationship. A lot on the podcast. I don't even listen to my own. Podcast okay so don't take it personal. I listened to know podcasts. And i have one. What is michael's relationship with porn. Is it something that you allow it does. Is that like a trigger forehand. That not allowed. I'm curious so for me. That's that's not in my Sir yeah that's that's in my circle so that's something that i stay away from Now with the program on of with. Sa it's you know it's one of those things. It's kind of a user's choice. It is up to certain people if that's a behavior that they talk about what their sponsor with their therapist. If it's something that they need to watch out for me it is a trigger button for me. It is an escalator. Do something that. I used to escape. Reality it's something that i used to mask feelings emotions. I didn't know how to express so for me. It's a non negotiable. It's my life it's out of our relationship and that's what we decided. That's what i decided You know but we're not against other people using where you know it's our story and that's the stuff that we're staying away from but we understand that people use it and we don't care if other people bring it into their relationship is just not not a part of ours because it's something where if you did it's the addict that could potentially set it to be like okay. Well this was fun. But now i want to take the next step and now here's it's murder cater for me. You know it's it's it's just like a drug. It's just like anything else. It was my medicare. let's medicaid or for me too. But i don't really doesn't make me want to do more. I'm just grateful. Actually because i'm like oh i take care of business in ten minutes or less than i'm done and that's it because you know I have not been intimate with anybody in five years. Five years for gay men. That's like dog years. Like i haven't been intimate with somebody like thirty years or forty years. Because gay men are the most promiscuous of antibody wonderfully so. So why. Because i was living in new york city for a period of time there and it was just so much easier than you know. There's so many more gay men there so there's vall all em and there's also more gay men that shared similar interests like all of the theater actor and people that work in fashion and it was just easier to be spontaneous. And hey you wanna meet for a drink or you want to hook up or whatever it is and then i moved back to los angeles and the one dating site that i was using a new york. It worked in new york. I wasn't getting results here. I didn't even care i'll share. I'm not getting paid. I don't even use it anymore. Okay cupid and i liked okay. Cupid because they have a website. And i don't want. I think i think i i am an addict as well in different ways like i'm addicted to food and i'm addicted to work like seriously addicted to work and i talk about that with my therapist and setting boundaries for myself and really forcing myself to get more sleep the coffee bean years and for actually up until last year i would only get about five hours of sleep at night not much so i moved back to la okay. Cupid wasn't working for me here. And i just didn't i don't i don't know i'm fine masturbating and i kept saying well it'll happen when it happens and it just hasn't happened for five years and i'm fine. I got three kids and and it is what it is but who knows. Maybe if i it's another couple of years i might even higher an escort. I'm not against that game and do that. I'm not quite there yet. Another against it. But i'm not quite there yet but maybe or maybe somebody will listen and be like well. I'll just put peres. Out of his misery and slide into his dm's and and you know help them out. I think also wanna comment to some of your your your fans and supporters. Who were saying that you know. I shouldn't even have an opinion on relationships. Because i'm not in a relationship and i haven't been in a while but i will just say to those people. I think one of the reasons why. I'm single and never chose to get married to any of the mandated for a long period of time was because my parents there like one of those storybook romances ever once fought. My dad died when i was fourteen and They never fought. But not only that like and this also hurts. Because i've spoken about this with my therapist. My parents didn't even didn't just love each other. They worshiped like my mom worshiped. My dad and my dad worship my mom. And if i were to tell my mom right now i'm god we can go back in time in one thousand nine hundred ninety three and your dies or your husband dies. I'm pretty sure my mom would have chosen my dad me dying over my father. I'm pretty sure. No i'm certain of that. Yes that she loved my dad. But you know. I i believe in. I believe in true love but i am but i'm also aware that it's not going to be perfect. Like i may not have that perfect relationship that my parents had i think i have a healthy release a healthy understanding of relationships. My thoughts on relationships is that it's a lot like your body and your health. We all know what it takes to be a healthy person. It requires healthy eating consistently and being active consistently and even though we all know that it's still so hard for so many of us to be healthy but we know what it takes. But it's still hard. And i say this as a fatty fatty even though right now i may not look fatty. I still got the brain of a fat person and the genes of a fat person so You know i. I think that way. But i put in the work on my body and i'm willing to put in a work in a relationship as well and i'm excited to not just be the one. That does all the talking and i'm excited to compromise. And where do you wanna go on vacation. And all of those things or we'll say peres that you know for being someone who who does what you do and talks about other people in the spotlight or other things that people go through. I do appreciate and respect that year is open as you are right because other people are shut the door when it comes to themselves and just want to point the finger at other people so i do respect that about you and i appreciate about that. You're willing to answer the same questions that you ask which is great. Well i go back. Also what i asked at the beginning i want. I want an answer from jonah. Because i don't think she said that. If i give you one hundred million would you keep up. The podcast is it. Can i still keep one hundred million and do the podcast or do i have to quit. He's just saying could still keep the podcast but keep it as it is talking about the. Yeah i knew of your relationship. I would i would. Probably even i mean we. We already go like real there. I'd probably even be like let's get our. Let's do a couples therapy with our therapist because at that point like who says anything i got more money than any anything like 'cause because for me it is about just helping people in knowing that i am not alone in this struggle because we did have a few. Because we're in court well. We just gotta quarantine. But because i'm here filming a movie and you know we were fighting about just stupid stuff that most relationships fight about and you know i was. I was even looking at valentine's day. Post and i'm like god like i mad at you right now. I don't wanna post as like. I love you so much i do. But i'm mad at you at the moment and so we posted a silly thing of. Hey anyone else bought today like you're not alone and there's so many people that really blowing us up there were like. Oh my gosh. Thank you because i was feeling annoyed and now you know now. We're better. But i saw your post and i'm like okay so again. I'm helping people not feel alone in that. It's okay that there isn't a perfect relationship. Because i'm not perfect. Even though i do so much therapy we do so much therapy and even with our book like we don't do it perfectly but were were better because of the work that we've done and this is a better relationship. When i walked down the aisle to you. I love that. And i guess the good thing is you're both consenting adults. I have a very open person. But i've got in trouble with my family because of that a bit and justified it at the time by saying this is my truth and i was really hurt by this and i'm going to just address it publicly because i have a podcast and because i have my youtube channels and all of that so when example which i don't talk about my sister anymore because it really hurt her but i was really hurt to the. My sister got married two years ago. And like i mentioned a few moments ago. My dad passed away when i was thirteen or fourteen. I remember a long time ago. Twenty five plus years ago and my mom walked my sister down the aisle absolutely fahd absolutely great. I expected that they wanted that. But my sister didn't have me participate in any way other than just walking down the aisle with my youngest child i thought. Oh maybe she asked me to give a quick little toaster. Maybe she asked me to dance with her or something and she did nothing. And i gave her ten thousand dollars to help pay for the wedding. Not a ton of money but something sizable. Like i had kids of my own. I was like if she would have gotten married before i had children. I probably would have paid for the whole thing. But now that i got kids you know. Here's ten thousand. That's yeah and so. I made like a big thing about it. Like i was so hurt by my sister and and then that really hurt her. At now i've realized you know what maybe i shouldn't broadcast everything with people in my life. That aren't comfortable with that. Even i'm comfortable broadcasting everything in my own life. I mean that's something we deal with in. That's been a hot button for me. Like i stay away from details with family your parents because of that right. It's it's like that we chose well. Actually even we didn't even choose to be this public about it because our story was sold And so we're just like jana said earlier on we're trying to control the narrative but still it's our decision as to consenting adults to share the stuff in our families didn't ask for our families didn't sign up for so we try to keep it in the parameters of our relationship with jeanine include other people. Oh martyr question random but kind of not really with you being single now. It's been five years. You have three kids is there one. Is there someone in your past that you consider the one that got away. No but i did. Tell my therapist that i would love to date that way. Like hit up people that i used today or just to hook up with them. Like i'm starting to think that like any of my friends that hook up with or whatever but not right. Now i did actually have this twenty one year old slide into my dm's which is rare because like out of ten times or nine point nine out of ten times the people sliding into my are women but this twenty one year old hoti who lives nearby flirting with me and even sent me like some nude picks and i'm like oh my god. If we were not in the middle of pandemic. I would so hook up with him. We're in the middle of a pandemic right now in. My mother lives with me and she's very high risk and my kids live with me and he doesn't even live in los angeles. He lives in orange county. So i'd have to waste money to go to a hotel and and just like be afraid for my mom's health of he has covid or whatever. It is so my question to you guys back and forth volleyball. I love it. What does your family think about your podcasts. Or do they not even talk about it. It's like you do it and they don't ever bring it up. I don't well. I don't think my mom lists. I don't think anyone listens. Actually because i don't think they want a year just in case if we do talk about because i talk. I've talked about my dad and my daddy issues and my dad our great now but i you know he was upset about the book in And i i've kind of. I don't know i think they're afraid to listen. You're you don't wanna not too much. Because they know we have our stuff and they don't wanna get involved or have an right. you know. My mom listened early on but I think he had to john's point. I think they just kind of one of like no less and my parents are very very private conservative people so it was an adjustment for them just for my life in general to be as public as it is But then they they've been able to see the positive spin that we've put on things and and how we've been able to help people so that's been beneficial. But no they they kind of stay away from it. And i'll also say to like kind of mike had said weeded are when i was doing dancing with the stars a friend of mine not anymore. He was very close to me. He was in our wedding. He was the one that actually sold the story not sold. I'm sure he didn't get any money but he gave it to us weekly. Well how do you know. How do you know it was friends. When i read the article there was one thing in there and only he knew he's the only person i told so i know for. There's no way that i would never even come to be like. How dare you. Because he would probably lie about it and then also. I know i did not tell anybody else that he was. He was my best gay friend ever and so it was. It was awful. But i will say you know for mike you know. We'd we don't talk about this because he would have loved to have kept his anonymity. Most people don't be like hey i'm a sex addict and like let's talk about it. You know so. It's yes bad note. It does suck in its. It's double edged sword. Word sucks in the times. Where yet again. A lot of people. In twelve set in aa or na numero a it is right in an md is a big part of any twelve step program. Well that was taken away from me and so we've tried to make the most of that again in a positive way in a at times i feel like it's a blessing in disguise because i can walk into a room not questioning. Okay does this person over this about me. Dispersion of this about me it's like get. Everyone knows everyone here knows at basically everything about me if they know us at all so i am who i am. I can wear that on my sleeve even on my heart. And if you don't like it then you have to talk to me. But i will say though for people you know with what you do because of course like when we see the headlines. It's like of course give. I would probably say the exact same thing and we can't have an interview with every single person that you know. Does these things. But i would say you know. I totally get like what you do. And i will say that i though i i i followed you from the very beginning Was it hard for you. When all the bullying stuff came out. How many was that ten years ago when you started to make the switch on your website. I mean it's still hard because you know like you mentioned towards the beginning you know you think well our brains tell us a narrative and may not always be the truth. You think that whenever there's an article that is written about two. It'll somehow mention that mike cheated and i think that unless something huge happens in changes this narrative for ever. Perhaps because i mean oh god thank you know that radio talk radio host rush limbaugh died and there were so many people celebrating his death. Awful i know and i've told this to my therapist. I know if i were to die today. People would celebrate my death. That's what's run. That's hard to accept. But i know that's the truth and even though i'm still opinionated i know i've changed and i know i don't do things as i used to like. I would have. I would have said she should leave that and then the blank and she's such a blank blank blank for staying within or whatever like i could still have allowed opinion but i don't think i'm i don't think saying she should. Divorce is nasty. Mean crueler hurtful and i used to be nasty. Make roller hurtful. I own that i was that. And what's funny is when i was that. I didn't think i was that. When i was doing that i was telling my brain. It's not me it's a character. It's not really me saying these things so if people are upset at me as a matter because it's not me it's like i'm just like exaggerating what i believe and you know it's like an many ways like an addict that guitar us to my therapist as well i at the time was so addicted to attention. It's a drug right. The chemical releases. And i knew i knew what i was doing was wrong kind of like when drug addicts wants to take drugs there. They could intellectualize. This is not maybe not the best thing to do. But i still did it anyways because i didn't care if i hurt. Somebody's feeling all i cared about was getting attention for myself and i really think no matter how much i well. That's not true. I also tell my therapist and this could be wrong. There is one thing that could change people's perception of me and that would be great huge success doing something different. Like let's say they do a reboot of glee which i loved and this let's say cast me and i'm playing a character a lovable character on glee and that shows a huge global sensation. Then that almost could wipe away the sins of my past and people would park it. Maybe not ever forget it but park it. Put it aside and be like. Oh wow we love him on the new glee. Heath amazing is the best thing and a lot. Because i mean i say look at mel gibson mel gibson said and did the most awful hurtful violent racist anti semitic things and yet all these years later. He's still a hollywood aleister and working because he's that's famous or Bill cosby currently in jail. Serving time convicted of rape and dozens of other women have accused bill cosby of rape because well if he is released from jail before he dies and if he wants to do a stand up comedy tour he would sell tickets. A lot of people would go see bill cosby knowing that he's a rapist and they care they would still go and see him. Do stand up Along those lines what do you think about the cancel society that we're in right now where it's just. You know like the chris. Harrison is just like or you know what do you think about. Cancel site where it's just like. Oh you did this. You're done and you're just you have to lose everything. I don't believe that. Cancel culture trinita. Yeah i don't believe that is real. I mean i believe that people on it to be real but nine times out of ten. It only helps people You know if you look at youtubers who are a lot of them. Many very problematic weds cancel being canceled up only helping them I mean. Of course there's always exceptions and there are times where people could really be cancelled. I think we're reacting to four years of donald trump and he many others were fighting against political correctness right so we go from one extreme f political correctness to then extreme cancel culture. And i don't think either of them are right. you know. Justin timberlake recently came out with a very lengthy statement apologizing to both brittany spears and janet jackson and even after apologizing. Which let me tell you. He didn't have to. Because i don't because justin timberlake like bill cosby or like a mel gibson. He's canceled proof even if he's awful people still love him and we'll go see him in concert. More feels like his reputation is severely damaged. He'll he'll pull out his ace card or his trump card. Whatever the expression is and he'll say you know what people aren't liking me. I'm going to do an instinct reunion. Have everybody loved me again. Because i'm going to give them the instinct reunion that they want but he gave an apology and i thought it was heartfelt and sincere and despite that so many people were like not good enough to late. Be more specific. How are you going to be better blah blah blah and. It's like so many people want to want to permanently. Cancel people and not give people the opportunity to grow. Be better and do better. And that's like just crazy because nobody out there is perfect. Nobody no and that's the frustrating part about it has all these people saying not good enough not this not bat if they looked in the mirror for two seconds and think about the things that they did just in their day. If they were to do that on on a big stage like someone else what would people say you know but it's easier to point the finger and let's crazy too is you know. Thankfully there's been a lot of discussion about media treatment and Did we fail. Britney spears and while i do think the media has changed a little bit. I don't know how much the general public has changed. I look back at kanye west last year and so not even so many. I would say the majority of people when talking about kanye west. We're not leading with empathy and compassion. Because he's struggling with mental health as well or right now. You know you're a singer as well as an actress. American idol currently is featuring the daughter of kellyanne conway. Claudia conway who's just sixteen years old and suffering severely with her mental health. She has told us and made these very serious allegations against her mother. Some including myself. Think american idol is exploiting claudia conway for ratings. So oh everybody's like poor britney but then like why not poor claudia to. It's like so many people media as well and people are disassociated from things and it's time also you know at the time and i think diane sawyer at the time. When she was interviewing britney she really was speaking for so many people was she wrong diane sawyer at the time. Yes we're all of these people wrong. Yes but diane sawyer is not a villain. She's not terrible awful. Human being she mishandled an interview and for all. we know. She's apologized privately. I don't know. I apologize privately to britney spears and i've apologized publicly as well and i did it sincerely because i'm not somebody who's going to apologize for something just like now. I rather sit on my sword and sambi kind. What i said if i truly believe that but if i genuinely am sorry that i will say. I have apologized to brittany apologized to so many people. I have so many regrets. If i could go back in time and do things differently i would. And that's not. Just be s. And i say that to everybody like really. Be careful of what you're saying on social media because that that's forever and especially if you're a young person and could come back to haunt you in five ten years or yeah and i think you know just kind of the moral of all of this is just. Nothing's perfect just do your best and you know be kind and Yeah and and have conversations. And i appreciate you coming on and having a conversation and you know i got to know you better. You got to know us better and you know now. I consider as friends so i just i appreciate you and you know. I'm glad we're able to have this combo. our listeners. Where can they find you. Will they can hear my podcast. It's the perez. Hilton podcast with chris. Booker. you can hear it on apple podcasts. Spotify or directly at perez. Podcast dot com. This week we talked brittany. We talked claudia conway and a lot. More armie hammer update. That story is just wild and lots more. It's pop culture and You know my co host kind of like your husband. We're very different lover. Fake you guys. Thank you so much man. We appreciate it. Thank you bye looking for a sweet crunchy. Treat to replace junk foods. That i know are not good for me while we found it purely elisabeth gluten free granola it's lower in sugar and it tastes amazing purely elizabeth's granola adds a delicious salty. Sweet crunch on top of my smoothies oatmeal yogurt. Or just straight out of the bag. It's honestly that good their chocolate sea. Salt probiotic granola is my personal favorite. Which is made with cliff chunks in core sea salt plus two servings will help you get in your daily dose of probiotics to support a healthy immune and digestive system. And if you're indecisive like me purely elizabeth has a ton of granola flavors to choose from like honey almond blueberry hemp maple almond butter chocolate peanut butter. I mean the list goes on. Get twenty five percent off your first order on all purely elizabeth products by using code winedown at checkout on purely elizabeth dot com now full original film. My mom taught me how to write songs. My dad taught me how to play the piano. And i still make music in my brother's bedroom but i'm back sick. Can you say this is so weird. You guys nobody. I don't know. Why are you likely. But i love you. Still the eilish. The world's a little blurry streaming exclusively on apple tv plus february twenty six radar. You have the power to make a different future and go. Daddy can help more than just naming your site goes. He has all the help and tools. You need to be online. Build a website. Sell your products online in linked to your social media. This is the perfect time to start something new and with go daddy's help and tools. You can start your small businesses and help make a different future use. Go daddy to start. You know prepping. Thanks for my hat business. That i'm working on and it's been extremely helpful and take you through all the steps you need to do to get things started. Yeah it's super easy and the future isn't decided yet it's still ours to win so make a different future with go daddy. It's perfect for small businesses because of free tools and expert advice and you can virtually sell your products anywhere us. One of their many design templates or get one of their pros to build your site for an even more customized. Look it's free to get started at go. Daddy dot com having that well yet you know i love what you said at the end there where it's just we hope people can have the conversation right. If you don't agree with what somebody else has to say or you think they have a false you know or they have a misconception on what the situation is like. Have the conversation. If you're able to were fortunate enough to be able to have a conversation with someone like peres. Maybe someone that might say something about us. But that's it right. Don't take a personal. Don't get you know banana shaped sound. The conversation yeah because at the end of the day look organise as something else story will get run for the people that don't know us think we are bat crazy to stay together that you're just this and i'm just this. You know i mean just read the reviews on our you know. I'm a controlling freak. That can't stop bringing stuff up. And he is a cheater. That will never stop treating so you know but what is in our marriage right now. Is we have a very strong foundation. We have our bad days. We have our amazing days. That is a relationship more mazing days and bad and that is very true. And i you know we just wanna continue to bring hope to those couples that there is no perfect relationship if you do the hard work and some one is willing to fight it out with you you can be stronger than you were yesterday and today and that is the good fight ladies and gentlemen By team what do you guys think. I think bringing him on was absolutely brilliant and it was such a better at such a great way of resolving a great way of moving past it and so much more productive that some stupid twitter war. Yeah or grew angry. And that's why. I'm glad that you know he wanted to come on. Because it was setting with me where and i'm like you don't know us you know and you're telling us to get divorce and i just and there's so many other outlets like bat where but i'm like with this. I would just like to have the conversation. And i'm glad that he came on and you know. He shared his his story in his addictions. And i liked his question about. If we someone gave us one hundred million dollars where we still do it because it's not about the money for us with this is not is it like. I don't even have to think about because it's truly not. It's not every time we come on here and talk. It's not always fun. Because it's we have markings he's like. Why were you fighting. Yeah tell us more for me absorb it is martinez popcorn But no it it really is. It's like okay even if we had all that money it's like well. What are we going to do on the day to day or weekly to keep us busy. We'll this because this is the most gratifying and satisfying you know for those intangible. Just regular human being reasons into a helping. That went nice house. This i will say i mean back in the day it was just crazy like going in there and you know he would put things off the people's mouths with some of the most atrocious like imagine if he was president now like the press then what he would like even side. He's like i'd probably say you cheating him for like but i'm glad that he has changed his tune tube because i still look at his website into his point even bringing up. What he said about us is like he didn't say anything derogatory you're meaner he just said divorced already and then talking about us financially benefiting and that being the motivator which is not the case. Well i mean. I'm pretty happy. Yeah you guys theon over there and love. That he didn't back down. I thought he would come on and he'd be like oh everything's fine. I didn't mean it. i'm just kidding. But he didn't back down he doug if yeltsin has opinions and defended them and it still worked out great. Yeah he had nothing to say. Sorry for some guy. He didn't even need to say say he didn't. He didn't say sorry but he didn't need to say sir Just about a conversation is nothing. He didn't do anything wrong. But i could see i. I know what you're saying there mark because right you feel like so many people. It's easy to step on toes through social media but then when they get confronted all you know i was just just thrown smoke on the fire. You know thrown gas on the fire just to make it interesting but yeah he's just like you courage and just convictions and also he's such a good broadcast interview. I love the questions he asks guys. It's very compelling yes. He asked great questions. I love the back and forth. We always love that dynamic of the back and forth. okay. Well i gotta go to work. Get out of here with me and the kids got stuff to do. Oh guys alright. I love you guys so much. And here's the here's your weekly motivation that we never do consistently be nice and you're in your own on this one. I'm looking at you like what is it honey. Just be nice and do the best you can. And you're not gonna be perfect. Just know that. 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