Episode 1116 - Rosie O'Donnell
Hey Folks. She bought all our tenth anniversary posters. We did a second run in them and they're already gone so thanks for that big time for all of you who didn't get one. Sorry but there are still tenth anniversary pins glow in the dark t shirts and notepads all with designs by Johnny Jones. Plus get our t shirts hats mugs and more with the Aaron drap one design or the W. T. F. Logo and right now some classic W. F. T. shirt designs are on sale go to pod. Swag Dot Com Slash W. T. effort quick on the merge button at W T F POD DOT COM aright. Cool all right. Let's do this. How are you? What the fuckers. What the fuck bodies. What the fuck sisters. What's happening quarantined? Damn some days right some days. Where's the time go? Is there too much time? What Day is it? What are we? GonNa do today. Wake up like what's the plan for food. I just woke up but I need to structure my day around the food. Let's move towards something. I maybe something in the morning. Then maybe something in the afternoon. Not Don't over snack it no over snack in it. I know that my experience is just a minority experience in a sense. A lot of people out there with families and that cannot be easy and I. I wish there was something I could do to help you. You can't even disappear now. I have to assume crime is down but I have to assume that sadly emotional abuse is probably up let alone probably domestic abuse as well. I know that there are sticklers for staying in. I'm not encouraging reckless behavior. But I'm saying get away from the people you love if you're starting to hate him somehow put on that mask. Take a fucking walk. Go out to your car just sitting in for Fuck Sake. If that's what you have to do sit in the car listening to the music drive around the fucking block. Don't hit anybody. Some people don't have their masks on correctly. They might not be seeing well. Don't text and drive but God damn it if it comes down to you hurting your partner hurting your kid or getting the fuck out of the House and taking a breath do it. Do it be responsible. Don't go crazy but get out before you hurt yourself or others. I'm not hearing a lot of that. Talk. There's some of that talk I'm talking to Rosie o'donald today and this will be the first time we do the Not In person talk which I don't love but this is the world we're living in right now. We're using a thing called squad cast. I believe it's called and I get on a video chat with somebody but the video just burns away not to be saved in the audio should be. We tried to find the one with the best audio so at least I can look at the person but it's still a little weird. I'm talking to Rosie. She's got her. Kids are around one steps into frame so it isn't the same. Maybe I'll get the hang of it. We'll see did a little shorter talk than usual but I'm going to pull my producer. Brendan in here. And with a wild and get him on the on the Horn on the high tech vid Horn because he used to work for Rosie. He was her producer on serious for a year. And a half. Maybe maybe give us some insight but we start rose. He brings him up immediately because he's kind of wrangling things on his side of the country. Also what parade of fucking clowns on TV right? I mean come on bunch of infantile adult dressed up like fucking soldiers protesting in front of State Capitals Against Governors. Who are trying to do the best thing for the majority of the population in their state and these idiots. These children not many of them. I think it's important to remember that that bit of theater whenever it's provoked never that many people to minority in the country and they truly are brain fucked morons who just follow orders from a pathological liar because it makes them feel good. I look I am the first to cop to a certain amount of childishness see and we all will want what we want and upsets us when we can't get it. I saw something on. Tv Amazon Guy Guy worked on Amazon. Saying that you know look your conditions aren't great and you know we're putting ourselves in in in harm's way here in these Warehouses and people are not. It's not all about essential things and I talked to. My Buddy Deane also talked to my producer. Brendan the Odeen Cell and Shit. Online Brennan said our merchant flying off the shelves all of a sudden more than ever. And it's just sort of interesting. The kind of culture we created is that when people are bored or frustrated or aggravated they still the compulsion to buy shit that they may not need but want is is a premium. It's a it's a it's right there. It's the primary need in this culture. I on my thing I want that. Can I have that? Yes you can just order. Let's order it. How how soon can we get it? I want it now. We still want it tomorrow. I don't know how about three days from now. That'll be surprised it'll be like a present. What is that? Oh yeah that's the thing I wanted that I didn't need. That's however Konami flows. Is that worth dying for? That's the other side of it. You get these babies out in the world storming around with their guns. Big Man. Children all suited up. We're willing to die for this economy. We Wanna be able to do this as infringing on our freedom protective measures against the first pandemic that any of these fucking idiots. I've ever been alive for. None of us were alive in nineteen eighteen. This is the first thing and some our another in this brain. Fuck time. We're living in where we have a fucking craven president politicizing everything these fucking morons go out there and demand the right to get sick that it's totalitarian and that it's infringing on our liberties we all just want to get through this. You hopefully in a few months. We'll we'll be somewhat past it. What about that? You can't wait you fucking babies you fucking babies with guns you unbelievable plenty of Infanta Luisa to go around. But Hey what about the fun stuff? Everyone needs to avoid crowds right now. All those things you used to do in crowded places those are done for now but what if you need to go to the post office? What are you need postage to send out letters in a package worry? Stamps DOT COM is here to help for almost a decade. You've heard me telling you that you need to go to the post office. You can do it all at home from home with stamps dot com. That was never as important as it is right now people. It's not just about convenience. It's about keeping everyone safe. You print official. Us postage twenty four seven for any wetter any package. Any class of male for anywhere wants your meal is ready to drop in the mailbox. No contact with anyone with stamps. 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I have my buddy deane came over the other day because I got sent a barbecue care package from kristen down it obese in outside Austin and spice would and I couldn't eat all the fucking meat and that seemed like an emergency to me. I can't have all this meek sitting around in my house so adding come over. He showed up in his gloves and his mask drove ten minutes putting the world at risk with that drive and I put the shit on my traeger got reheated through. He sat six feet away from me me and win so I stopped. The shit slid down the table. Had a nice chat masks off for the food named went along the way. It was nice to socialize at a distance again. You decide what you need to not lose your mind. Hurt yourself or others. That is also important. There's a deliberation that needs to go on there. Some sort of negotiation with self. Don't go crazy either. In behavior or by M- mentally losing what you've been doing for fun. We did something we hadn't done as a couple we did the. Let's go through. Our pictures are old pictures. Have you done that any of you do in that at home? How old are you people? I mean like hard copies. I got a box of polaroid. It's like an image raffle for my life is reaching you. Pull out one night. Oh yeah that was. Nineteen eighty-three. Does that party. Oh I remember that girl fuck. What was her name? Play that game. That's the that's the picture lottery game. If you've got a long past of pictures just make a mess of in like a puzzle. Put Him in a bag or box and reach in and pull one out and go. Oh Shit I remember that night. That was no good. I wonder what happened to that guy? Reach in and pull it out That dog died. Reach in pull it out. Holy Shit look at. We were in love it. Then that didn't end guel reaching out would that my mom bought me those pants hours of fun. Jog Your memory. She showed me some pictures. I showed her remind been thinking a lot about things in the past. Make sure I have no unresolved amends to make. I texted Dave. Cross about about something that happened that I it's more about not understanding why I did it really and wasn't even that big a transgression really. I mean years ago. Cheese must be in the Late eighties I believe me and my girlfriend. At the time Kim went over to Dave Cross's girlfriend at the time. Faiths House were Davis Dan and they just gotten a new food. Tom For the living room couch Black Futon and we got fucked up. The four of US had some food I think fucked up and got late and they were going to crash and I decided like why. Don't we just crash here on their new futon and for some reason like we had sex on it and we got we got some s on their gut got some come on their new black Futon and was embarrassing morning? It was an embarrassing sort of like you know. Yeah sorry pretty clear what what happened here. And I don't know what to say but like in a deeper way I don't why didn't I just take a cab home? Why don't we just leave? Why did I have to do that? In my animal there have to mark the territory. Did I have to what the fuck was at about? So that really what was I was hung up with and I texted that today by saying I'm sorry about that. I don't know if you remember. But about the black futons and he sent something funny that. I can't read to you because it's it's private and I think he doesn't bother him does not stuck in his crime anyway. There's obviously bigger problems. But why why did I stay? Why did we stay? Why can't we have left? I don't know that's an investigation. That's ongoing in in my heart and mind in terms of you know how I am with people and with friends and you know but it's easy mistake you're fucked up. I just WANNA crash but could taken. A cab wasn't broke was that about. What did I have to prove? I listened to Fiona Apple's new record. I talked to her many years ago. It was kinda great a little loopy but it was fun both of us but I remember the idler wheel. Two Thousand and twelve to me felt really raw in almost uncomfortable listening to it because of the emotions and it seems now with fetch the bolt cutters that she's really wrangled. It altogether wrangled it. In reigned in and focused at Shit and it does not disappoint. That record is deep. It's disturbing it's honest and puts a lot of things in a in a poetic perspective that I wouldn't have seen them in otherwise varied in musicality and rhythms. Just it's a great record. I know I'm not the only one saying that. So kudos to Fiona apple for pulling it out for pulling herself out for fetching. Those bolt cutters to get adver. God Damn head. Good job I did. Not Listen to the second Bob Dylan release. I've grown impatient and irritated with with that generation to a degree. I'm happy that they're all still alive. But I mean we can continue mining. The words for some sort of like it's got to be in here in the answers has got to be in your. I think honestly for the past five or six years. At least. Most of Dylan's output are just rough drafts of his last words. More than a social statement. It's more of A. They seem to be an ongoing reflection of his own dimming. Not that I don't love the Guy I love the old Jew. Nice AC- Mick Jagger playing. You can't always get what you want. He's voice sounded. Greatest Guitar sounded great. Charlie watts like one hundred years old keith. Kind of looked at kind of focused. Ron would of course put on a show but bottom no matter how how sad and beautiful simultaneously that stones thing was a mix sounded great and on the Film Front for some reason. Lynn had a copy of this film. That you really liked and I'd never heard of. It's called Lock L. O. C. K. E. with. That guy is his name. Tom Hardy that genius. That fucking chameleon. It is really kind of a stunning little movie. He's a genius in it and the entire thing takes place in a car is two thousand and thirteen but there are voices. Olivia Colman is in it. She does voice. Ruth Wilson Andrew Scott whose genius and fleabag and. It's just a an intense stunning bit of cinema. If you have time I would search it out so Rosie O'Donnell oh yeah before we get to that. Let's let's get Brennan McDonald on the Horn. Here let me see if I can do that. There's a little sound Brendan that means. We're on we're on. We are looking at this. I can see you. You got me right there and exactly no one can. No one's ever GonNa see this but they can hear it. They can and that was why we did this. We thought okay well. Let's let's do this so people can hear. Were doing but you can also feel comfortable like you do in your show. You're sitting across from me and we're talking right but I don't see your kids running around. The Rosie kid was running around that granted. She's twenty or something so in and out. Well and that's that's going to be the new environment that we're in now. You're not just dragging people past your cat litter boxes. They're dragging you into their house and you're seeing their life. I'm going to just we're going to have to make the I'm going to have to adapt. Well that's what I thought. This was a good one to actually make that jump. Because you know people probably don't know this. We haven't really talked about it in detail but you know when we started doing the podcast. I was working for Rosie. That was actually the job that I got when we got fired from Air America during the break room they were starting up the Rosie show and they. They contacted me immediately. They knew the show got cancelled break room and they were like. Hey here. You're looking for work at like literally the day. After that show got cancelled they were bringing the end to come do Roseanne. I was sitting there going. GonNa do no right and I also wanted to keep doing the thing with you so so we started doing that show. We were like doing the prep in the planning for it. While I'm interviewing and getting this job with Rosie and then that Rosie show on. Sirius allowed me the opportunity to have a life and have a paycheck while we spent a year. Plus get in the podcast off the ground. I was loading envelopes in my house and Highland Park to send out swag the people that were donating ten dollars a month right and was like doing it in secret like I didn't tell anybody at serious like oh. I'm doing this secondary show and that was like every time I was doing another job. It was this entirely different world what we were doing on the podcast. I weep the Rosie show we produce that like regular. Tv Talk. Show like we would go. We produced it out of her house she lived in upstate. New York we would go up there every day. Travel up to her house and it was like there were seven or eight people around like sidekicks and and her friends that she wanted in the room with her and then we we drive famous people up there to be on the show with her was cleese's things she'd she'd play live game. She wanted like contests on road. Tv show the fact that we were doing this like basically like a similar lacrima for old TV talk show but on the radio. It just couldn't have been more different than what you and I were doing. Like flying by the seat of our pants and it. I think it actually like gave me a lot of juice. To produce the PODCAST. The way we did it just felt so different and freeing that I was like all right well during the day I do this like mammoths radio talk show and then at night I go home and I make my little podcast. Nobody's GonNa hear well. The great thing was Also is that it must have been a relief because when you work around her especially at that point you know you can't get out from under that. I mean it's like you know she becomes part of your head and life you're like an appendage of Rosie O'Donnell well I definitely had to prove myself to her when when when I first interviewed for that job like she was like who is this twelve year old. Like why this guy is going to run my show like she had no desire to have like a kid producing her first foray into radio and I really had to like a basically was not unlike what I had to do with you that I had to just show her through my competence and professionalism like oh I can trust this guy like he'll he'll deliver for me. I was interviewing anybody. I was just in a panic and you would show up and go like maybe if you just do it like this okay. Thank you and then two days later. What's that guy's name again? Yeah it was I mean for her. It was more like she was like I. I just felt like she could at any time. Turn around and be like that guy get rid of him but it happened pretty quickly that she was like. Oh Okay I get him. He'll he'll do this thing for me. And the the thing from my end again like not like with you is that I noticed right away that like Oh my God. She is like an undeniable talent. Right like this can work. Because she's just good. I like her charisma and her skills at being a performer and presenter are unparalleled like I I was watching the other day I was watching a league of their own mostly because I love baseball so much. I miss it and so I was like. Could you give me any baseball? Yeah and that's as good a baseball movie as as watching it and it is astounding. That's like her first role in anything. And the movie starts to take pains to give her moments like there's just gratuitous Rosie stuff in that movie because they know they got a star on their hands and just out of nowhere and and I remember feeling that way when she started the radio show like never had done radio before and we were really just kind of trying to design it to her strengths and that worked because she could she could hold a room if you put seven or eight people in the room with her while she was doing it. She's just like a dynamo like the way she turns it on is crazy. Well I think that from how she reacted to you. Being you know my producer and having to engage with you again for this thing you know she. She understands how talented you are in in a certain way like. There's certain people like me and people like her. Who were these kind of self centered? Charismatic people that drive the thing I mean when it comes right down to it you need to have someone around to just sometimes. Just say like all right. So how do I feel about this? What what angle on this. I don't even think there were times where I don't even think it mattered. Whether or not the thing I was saying was something that she would then reiterated repeat she just needed like hear me say something like if she was like. What's the point of this thing right and I give her an opinion on it. All right at least it's right. Least all right. Yeah it's loaded. There's something to it now. I'll I'll just process that right right. I watched her also another thing that stands out to me about her as a purse. A public person in the world was she was my first real entry into seeing. Just how viciously people will attack a public personality for Sport and we then start to you and I encounter that a lot with like as we started to have guests on the show particularly female guests. Always that's why we got rid of the comment board. Yes on our website. Just turn into a barrage of garbage violence and hateful invective against women. It's almost always just women like it was like we were like. Don't we have a pretty genteel audience like we never any sense like why all of a sudden happen and it of course started to make more sense once. We got into like the current environment that we're in of like trolls and four Chan and Gamer Gate and then leading right up to trump. And it's kind of I. Guess not a coincidence. That trump was this early antagonised rosie in NYC was making a name for himself as being a a bully toward Rosie. When you see that that's that's a I. I watched forget attacked with that kind of stuff every day and I'm sure she still does your garbage online antagonism toward her out of glee out of fun and I just. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to shoulder that well she's also like one of these people that she's she's opinionated. Got An like an edge to her like right so she she's GonNa get it no matter what I never saw. Get to a point. Where when that stuff was happening juror it debilitated her or anything. But I can't Ima- I wasn't around her. When the trump stuff was first happening like bagging thousand seven and I definitely wasn't around when it was happening as the guy was running for president. And he's on a debate stage like making fun of Rosie O'Donnell for in front of the world like I can't imagine that felt good. Yeah the weird thing that's happening with me and I and I imagine with her two after a certain point this stuff. There's so much of it that you kind of shut down to it. I think part of it's healthy and part of it isn't but like this morning I woke up and I'm like Shit Nazis in my feed. And you just kind of have a day I mean yeah you have to fight the urge to engage with the worst of people I at least I do? I don't know if she has sat. But there's a moment where for some reason people say good things or nice things it's only the Nazis and I'm like I'm going to. I'm going to respond to this. GonNa tell this guy to watch my special. It's like then he'll get it. He'll get it and I gotTa stop myself from doing that. But the bottom line is I always thought you inner would have a good conversation and you know the the problem though is that she lives in New York and she's not the kind of person who like will shift around her life to do like show business stuff. That was one thing I learned by working with her. Like she's living a very fine life up there and you know she doesn't need to do interviews or talk shows or whatever and so like she wasn't making trips out to La to you know do podcasts and whatnot and so we just never lined it up now. It was always crazy to me. That's one of the two people that I've worked very closely with the two of you share a lot in common and would probably have a good conversation so once it became time to start doing these distance podcasts. I just thought she'd be a perfect one. Perfect I won first outing. Yeah I out of the gate and then yeah we'll keep trying this yes see. Let's see what let's see what we can do? Okay well let's do let's Let's get into her And she's got a lot of Nice things to say about you right up front. Oh that's very nice. But she's in the upcoming limited series on HBO. I know this much is true. That's premiering may ten. He's also been raising money for the Actors Fund helping people in the performing arts who are out of work or dealing with financial hardship because of the pandemic you can go to Actors Fund Dot Org for more on that and this is mia me and rosy talking. The first one from across the country was like old times with Brennan eight years though. It was a newborn baby. Isn't that wild extremely as it goes so quick? He used to be where he was your producer right like every day saw that guy so that guy every day. He's the smartest guy in the room. Is that the genius. I don't know why would not my life would not be what it is without that guy. He knew everything when it right a question about anything political write in the answers and everything or mendes asset film politics works. I can only think about myself most of the time well as a comedian is my job. How are you holding up over there pretty good? I got three kids here with me which is interesting. Yeah Twenty Year. Old a seventeen year old and a seven year old. Oh my God that's kind of a full-time Hassle love trying to get what each of the needs for their age range. And they're all matt you know have you. Have you ever had this kind of bonding time with these kids until this time? No Way Age when they were little of course by not like now when they don't have a choice but to be home with Mommy. Oh my God so is are you. Are you learning new things well? My daughter started painting. You know I paid to Lila's art studio in the garage. Share started painting. I'm very impressed with what she's doing. You know totally added frustration. She's doing it seeing how you WANNA say. Hello say hi. It's Marc Maron doesn't great podcast. You Love Cold Wet Ninian. Hi How are you nice to see you? Yeah yeah insured of it. That's why I want to go to the second now to eat. Whatever you get me something I was trying to think back on. Why am we missed each other over the last three decades? How how is it possible that I never met you? I know it's so weird I was thinking back. Did I ever work with you? Like in San Francisco. I was at San Francisco. I just I know that like I. I was in Boston in eighty eight. That's when I started really working professionally and I think I missed you on the stand up spotlight by year two because when I did it. Was Bobby Gallons so. I didn't get to do it when you were there. But when did you start doing standup when I was sixteen? I was in a comedy Show that you do to make fun of the teachers. Every year there was a guy who's older brother will stand up comic. He was the youngest by law. And His was Richard Did you know him? Yeah he was. He owned a comedy club. Psychology Club of one judd appetite. Mom worked yes okay and so that was like my home club. It was about twenty minutes from my house and I started working there when he came over to be at the Shell and said. You're going to be a standup. I said no I'm going to be on Broadway and he's well running. Start doing stand up and people would see you for Broadway and I thought that might be a good way to get seeing you always Broadway fan when you were a kid. Yes very much. My mother had every Broadway cast album. We weren't allowed to touch. But you put them out on first special nine of like Oklahoma or South Pacific year. How many kids were there? The middle of the middle of sit around and saying listen. Well not say so much. Thank you could tell what mood. She was in by what she would. You know you could telling we coming home from school. If you hear something sand like hello darkness my old friend the sound of silence. She would be like a God. I was like seven years old and I knew we're in trouble now but I I worked a lot for for so many years. I started off the road when I was eighteen. They went to be you and I started working at the connection. Playing Sam's and the Dick played against in the basement berry. Cats is room and editing. How towards the end or was it thriving still? It was lenny clocks big night and he put me on selling anytime. Nice him he used to do like he he would he would host a show he do like forty five minutes in between acts he really couldn't problems like a king over there and can understand feeling like because they still kind of a king over there. I think I don't know what's left of the place but you didn't. Wasn't your goal really to to stay in stand up. You'd really did the thing you did. The road yet. Light College. I I gotTa do this full-time and see if I can make a living doing this. And so I started getting road games and then when I was eighty four. It was twenty two years. Old and McMahon's daughter happened to be in the east side comedy club and I just was doing a spot and she came over to me and said my dad's Ed McMahon. I want you to be on the Star. Search show thinking. Data's McVeigh in Huntington Long Island. Yet was I got on star. Search don't might open my person to pretty much headliner in the middle of the country. And wh when you were doing that where you just a person that kind of like did you improvise. Did you have a whole schtick or did you just riff for what you from work in so many years from eighteen to twenty two so four years solid on the road? I had like a good thirty five minutes and then as you chop it up on star search. It's show number seven. You screwed on my friends who are comics. What can you give me man? I need something. I'm going out there with not an important stuff. Gave me like a little one liners and who did genetic barber. She didn't remember yeah. I kinda do shoemaker though. Yeah yeah sure. They love master the low master right me some stuff. The comics that I was friends with way back that you know it was a big deal again on star search was there was only the tonight show and a woman wasn't getting on there right so when you did when you were away from home though a your parents just sign off on you doing this. Well I didn't have a loan Monday when I was ten and my dad was kind of not really. You know an influence of our what we did. We were all pretty good kids. We were all class president. We were all you know popular high school kids but he didn't have any say in sort of what I decided but when I think now that he led a seventeen year old Idaho to congregate like wars. My kids go to the mall without falling me. Every twenty minutes you know very little parental guidance. In our childhood growing up it was sort of five of us. Just kinda sticking together like this. You know was he just passive or he just what you know. It's a really serious mental illness stuff his family's and suicides a lot of alcoholism and I arranged dark Irish stuff if he was he actual immigrant. Yeah he came over what he was very little with. Some of his brothers and sisters in my grandmother came over. I with some of the little kids than my grandfather came over with the rest of them. 'cause he was like one of eight kids so I I love Ireland. Like I'm a Jew and I and I have this weird attraction to the place and I love going there. Have you gone there and tried to feel where? What what is that historic darkness? I don't get it really. Is You just read O.`Neil? Yeah but it's it's so beautiful there and there's such a uniform although the weather sometimes gets you down but there is that whole my whole family like that that I know fighting depression all the time kind of feeling you get over there. I think and the way everyone deals with it of course is alcohol right now so there's a tremendous amount of alcohol abuse and all that comes with that. When my mother died my father took five kids to Northern Ireland. I was just there. Yeah I was at one thousand nine hundred ninety three. It was the height of the troubles in Belfast. And that's where he took us to go. My mother died. Thanks Dad was an exciting trip now. Impact they didn't have known. And we all WANNA built and they didn't kids didn't drink milk drink tea. Everything was burnt. Food was horrible. I wouldn't eat it. We were crying all the time. I don't know when he was at goodness to be found over there then is that where he was from. Yes I was just there. It's it's it's heavy weather up there with or without troubles. I mean the M just nature is it tosses you around. Yeah I went there for that show. Who Do you think you are when you bring a relative and you find out about your family. Oh Yeah Yeah took my brother any and we went there and we went to the you know my great grandmother was always saying to Sto. Put Me in the Florida. House now was thinking look. She talked about the house. Then I went there and saw the my God. I didn't even know this was real. When she died we went. She lived in our house and we went into Haroo by my dad went into her room and found like fifty years of checks from the government that she had cashed and just put the envelope back in the drawer in her in a room ended up with like thirty two thousand dollars which our family was the unloaded and we bought a plymouth. Laurie Oh nice yeah. Am Radio Yup. She didn't she didn't cash them. She didn't cash them. She just put all these checks and now it was crazy to find afterwards. It was like a fortune like Agatha Christie mystery what was Nanna Julian with all the central. So do you find that you I mean what's your battle with depression on a day-to-day basis in one thousand? Nine hundred ninety nine eight for Electric Columbine. I went on Nets and going to shrink really since I was like twenty and every one of them pretty much advise me going immense Irish thing of you know you just put yourself from bootstraps and it's not that bad. Don't you dare laundry in public? Love was a thing in our family right more dirty laundry but I have a great therapist. I have a great psychopharmacologists. I know that I will never be all right that right. It is the fixed that was needed. And then I have at least a tool to stay above water. You know when I get sort of sucked down the last few days. I've been sleeping a law. My daughter sent me Mommy Getting Sad. I thought okay. It's time to pick up a notch in my prevent- prevent the suck from billing all the way down right right right. And what what what is. The diagnosis was bipolar borderline. What PTSD at major depressive disorder awhile? But what happened was when I was on my show and I was so You know overwhelmed with all the successive aid in what it meant and it was like a lot and then here comes columbine unlike will. I'm going to go after the. Nra right that's it and we're going to take them down and all the kids in the world are going to be safe in school. Like I had a fantasy thinking like magical thinking that a child has to be able to solve these problems in the nation and I also thought they would be others. Who wanted to be doing that? To like a Justice League layer surrounding Justice League right right and all the celebrities together and they would all agree that we would for this safety net. For All of the vulnerable people in society fame was was floor and that didn't pan out and that's when the shit fell fell in on you on me. Big Time April ninety nine and then luckily I was medicated. Before nine eleven happened and then medicated while Katrina was happening and so I've been medicated. Since ninety nine I think without that I probably would survive those two and this one is a big challenge for me. It's like world. Crises seem to hit me more than personal things in my life. That aren't you know when it's like a world crisis there's nothing you can do about it. That's when I really suffer really and in this one it's outside the handling of it. It's hard to place blame a bio logical problem in and for me because I have anxiety to like I the one thing I know now in terms of where everyone's is we're all in the same place where all in our homes were all freaked out and no one's doing anything so I'm not competing with anybody and there's a sort of peace of mind to it in a way and there's also a powerlessness to it so I this one's not as outside of dealing with the way it's being handled like I have a certain amount of acceptance over the nature of it. Greeley that's interesting. I had the opposite just like I think it's the complete opposite. What Stirs Anxiety. More than anything is when the person in charge is not doing what they're supposed to do. Well that's what I mean. That's that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I can the disease. I know it's a disease and it's real but I I can't handle the way it's being handled right. I can't handle that and I also can't handle the levees breaking. Oh yeah right country we in that we can have fucking crazy it's fucking crazy the powerlessness of it too. So you just get depressed. I get angry is how I mean. I've seen you get angry but mostly I get angry when I have a place to speak out for it if I have a microphone Rhino right like it's my duty. The night that Goldman spoke at Union Square. I was. I'm like this going to be a rebel and a Good for people in La la La but when I don't have a microphone and I'm just swallowing in the suffering. Now eat for now. It's the deaths and it's the proceed suffering of what's going to happen economically jor country for so long when I saw today. Two THOUSAND PEOPLE IN LINE FOR FOOD IN. Dallas people never use the Food Bank before. And these are little one offs. Imagine when that's all put together again when we're one country again and you know the amount of people that are going to be in need. It just boggles my mind. Right Kid I saw. I saw Saigon being evacuated right so on his walkup steps that they used to push up to the planes and a young kid kicked the woman and she fell out of the frame. And I remember being like eight or nine years old and crying and saying we're who is that woman. We have to save my father. I don't even know that all adults don't you be watching the news to being overwhelmed by other people's pain you know what we're finding out like in terms of like this guy's president and then with something like this happens is that I don't know if I can believe that people are fundamentally good all right do you I do. I do believe that I have to believe in like that. I think November. We're going to be a landslide. And Jake him out. That's what I have to believe. I firmly believe that the heart of the nation is is bigger than his mental illness and people will rise to the occasion and vote him out. That's what I hope. Although you did hear him yesterday saying that you know he got General Motors to make ventilators and Putin called in. They need song. I didn't hear that. Oh my God chat wasn't yesterday but like I rate them on that sheet craziness. Oh my and this your your history with him goes way back. I don't know I. How do you handle the amount of Shit? You must take on a daily basis from strangers in anonymous garbage. You get engaged with it at all. Well not really twitter. Feed is like a pro- professional anti trump tirade. Will I can get just put up there. My instagram might try to do more of my family and not be so violently political. I did have a relationship in terms of you. Know in two thousand and seven when he Forgave the Miss Junior universe for kissing in rural in Greenwich Village and he did a press conference rate before the view on where he said. You know I'm going to forgive for our grant. Her like absolution like he was a priest or something and went to the before the show started and I just listed everything about an stacks facts that were easily found right like literally bat shit crazy like us now. Any kept off for about ten years. Oh my God get shift from other people. Mostly what against people saying? Thank you for standing up for him. I don't I've never had a trump supporter over to me and say anything you know rice. That was usually with my children. I'm not sure why but It hasn't happened sometimes online. It does but you know you gotta really to that out. And you've never had to deal with him personally in New Yorker anything net. I met him once the ice once. It is winning because when he was married Marla Maples. We shared a mutual leading man. She was will. Rogers follies Degrees and we have the same guy. Well he invited me to be his date. So as trump walked down the aisle to a woman he had left standing at the three times. He was shaking. Everyone's hands so that's the first time I met. You shook my hand and then I met him. Once at the celebrity I mean at the survivor finale. I was the host of the survivor. Finale he was talking terms with Mark Burnett to see about doing the apprentice. And I offer that for the vast majority of the problems. This nation has coming to terms with who he is in actuality I feel is directly personally responsible and have you talked to him about that but sure said it on a lot of interviews really and and he's a guy you worked with. I Know Mark Burnett. I know his wife Roma Downey and I know you know what he did. I was a big supporter of his work. I loved survivor when it was first on and he was very kind in a great guy. I really liked him and then he did this apprentice and I kept saying to him. What the hell do we putting up? This guy is Mr. He didn't even have a board room. Burnett and it was all plywood to begin with so she created this image. That is nothing like her. We is that is devoid of all facts about his essence in his character and he let that ride out on ten years worth that leaves states and people still believe it the fatal i. I'm surprised at how shallow and and stupid and easily manipulated people are. I don't I don't guess I should be but I but I am on a day to day basis. Totally Jim Jones. It really is really is five seconds away from drinking the KOOL aid. I I've gotten to the point. I don't know if you can do it but like I. I've got a limit like I feel the Bil- come up and I realized okay. I'm powerless over this especially today. There's nothing I can do right now. I can't I'm not going to get a collapse me. Yeah well. Then you've got a lot of internal internal strength to do that. Sometimes you don't even feel it like you know I remember. I said to my kids years ago like a decade ago. My son was ten and I sit down. You Guys Mommy. Kelly told me that I seem a little different or I seem a little sad. Did you guys notice anything? And my little ten year old said Mom said Botha because depression her the whole family was the casual sir. I keep an eye on it and when they say and I really have to fight hard like when they said the award getting sad. You're sleeping so much you know I went in really early. Got Up really early shower. I went outside and I have to fight for right now when you look back at your career choice in and doing stand up do you. How much of what you did early on. Y- you know in terms of your struggling with You your sexual identity. But also the depression I mean. How much of it was self medicating the you know? How much do you do? You think like like when you think about you know musicals and doing stand up and all the stuff that you were kind of pounding away at was it just keeping this shit at bay. Yeah in a way was I think you know I always wanted to do Broadway shows? There's nothing that gives me so much. Endorphins is seeing a musical. Never mind being enemies will. It's almost like being a seminary or church or like could fiddler on the roof for about six months and to those sing those songs every night it was like filled something in me that nothing else to fill right and so. I think it did a little bit. You know I had tremendous Zainy. There was abuse my childhood. So I had all that stored up you know Physical Abuse Physical Sexual Really. Yeah family members yes family member just one. Who's no longer with us? So you know which is a good thing that's terrible. How was it after? Your mom died. Now believe it or not four. Oh my God. When I was a little kid I would go to the doctor. I would have urinary tract infections or yeast infections and I was like six years old and the doctor would say you touch yourself out. I was like what is that even need like six year. Old Kid has no practice at right way to to put that together you know but interestingly enough when my mother died that's what it sort of stopped. I think but it. It's a trauma. It was in his family and You know something that he and his siblings had to deal with as well. And if you don't get treated sometimes you know news damaged people in Your Path. It just keeps happening just keeps tumbling through the generations. Yes exactly unless you make a real real break the chain moment where you confront the people who did it or the person who did it and saying this will be known war. We're you able to do that. Yes with a bunch of my settlings. We all went together and it was a good intervention. You know good kind of way. No this went down now. You have to realize that when your mother dies when you're ten years old and you have five brothers over that's the crisis you thing your whole life. You grow up thinking. That was the thing that my mother died. And then you grow up and you come to realize. That wasn't real thing right. The river was this other thing that was going on that nobody was talking about and she thinks she knew too. I think she knew my brothers and sisters don't always agree with me on that but I think she knew because when I got old enough I was dating a guy when I was twenty two years and he came back with me to the house like grew up in and I asked him to lay down in the people at the end is they knew was so big. He laid out in the next to me and I said no get up and go to that room. Get up and go to that room like there's no way she did it how we didn't live in a big mansion. We lived in a regular low middle class income house right now so there's a lot of that to rectify to get with. The senior stuff wasn't really a big thing. All of those other challenges that I had in my child's dealing with trauma dealing with trauma exactly so Nass trauma happens like this thing. Look at how many people are going to be in. Desperate need and in life altering pain. What are we GONNA do? How are we going to help them? You know like I couldn't get over seeing the images from nine eleven pages from Katrina. I'm waiting for all the images from this. What's fucking daunting is that he's there literally trying to cover it up as it happens. Yes and it's like it's I I it's unimaginable and because there's so much information coming at us all the time it's hard to get all the information I think matthaeus very good at sort of bringing a lot of this information to forefront. You know now. She's going into local newspapers to get stories on local nursing homes and stuff. So I don't know I I. I like the year optimistic about November and I and. I think that I'm GonNa try to do that. More the optimistic a little bit. I mean half the beat for for the election. If you let yourself think that the country would have to suffer four more years through him. There's no reason to sort of stay thanks to be here. There's no reason to think that can happen again. The odd thing is I want to move to Ireland. My plan is yoga set up. A small had existentialist Jewish stronghold in Ireland Ireland. I think that is the sort of weird common thing that some Jews that I talked to about Ireland xeres a heaviness that we sort of identify with yes and it's a different heaviness than I went to Israel a couple times in a few years ago why I had some friends who were going and I wanted to see what it was like and we got to go over to where the Palestinians are sort of locked in you got to see kind of Adan. I was very interested in the mid east and all of the peace talks starting with dot. When I was in college I thought he was such an amazing leader. And you know I remember thinking Jimmy Carter was GonNa fix the soul you know right and I have always been interested so I went to Israel expecting to deal a lot different than it did but I think I find the heaviness and the trauma war in Iowa than I do in Israel. Oh for sure. I think that my my experience with the kind of you know Brooding Darkness as an American Jew thing you know. I think it's more of an Eastern European thing is Israel is I mean. It's almost like they have very little patience for whiny American Jews. They're just sort of like shut up. Here's a gun. Do your part you know. Did you ever see that documentary to die in Jerusalem? Now that's a great one to watch. It was about the first female suicide bomber own market. And she'll kill one other person her same age who looks so much like that they could tell the body arts of heart. Montgomery got the mother of the Palestinian bomber and the mother of the one child together to talk but they couldn't. They weren't allowed to come out of their states and Palestinian Palestine. The Palestinians rather weren't allowed to come out so they had to do it like this at a time when like this was really happening. I gotTA WATCH THAT. Shit that one when you like. I'm trying to think so. After the star searching that was it right then you became. You're you're launched right I was launched and then I did Dana Carvey was auditioning for SNL and ABC's Comedy Club. And I was friends with the waitresses and I happened to be next so they held the checks while I did my set and brandon tartikoff came over to mate with Lorne. Michaels share about intimidating. And old we're GonNa put you on NBC. And I went home and called everyone. I knew who you are and told them I was going to be on Saturday. Night live and it turns out I would give me a break with Nell. Carter still had to do it. You know but like Fisher this was buying into. Snl DID YOU WANNA be on SNL on every comic. I think in the world did you have characters. Yes my father's Irish. Will you know? Yeah Yeah Bunch of accents and characters I mean I thought that was it right there. This is how dreams are made more on. Michael's happens to be your did you did you. Have you had experiences with Lawrence since then hosted it twice Yeah Yeah so then I got to be you know. Put My pictures engaged. I put my picture on Steve Bannon during that whole thing you know and then moines was like. Are you saying you want to do this? And like I'll if cold I will serve if you need to do something you can cope. I remember when they were talking about that. Yeah I think he felt like I was trying to get the GIG. I wasn't I was just trying to be in on the joke. As opposed to having the joke against you. I think you would have been better. I never liked what they did with death. Guy Just didn't make sense to me not make sense to me either. Because he's such tangible personality. And so fundamentally Makgabutlane. What's so as I guess? The big question for me is you. Do you do the movie? Do a League of their own which was great. You were great knit popular movie in terms of the way your career kind of panned out. 'cause you did everything I mean. You've done everything you wanted to do. But was that the plan. Did you like you know after you after you did some TV? I mean did you wanna just do movies and and and and that didn't happen so you adapted or how did it go for you? I got league of their own. I was one and women who could really throw from third to first you know so I got that job and that just led to other jobs I like the flintstones before that was even out and then sleepless in Seattle and you know there were a series of movies that I did. I mean my kids kind of look at my I M D page. One day in there like you are in all this all the stuff. I'm like West on my son who's twenty came home. Two years adults said. I saw this movie mom when you were a teenager. And you're playing baseball long. You talk like rocky thirty and I was not a teenager and I did all those things. And then Greece was happening on Broadway and my agent said. I don't want you to do that to take you out of the movie that you're on a movie role and I was like. Yeah but I really want to do Broadway my whole life and this is one of the few roles can do and so I went and did that and then allowed me to adopt because I had a stable job and I saved all my money from the movies and I thought as soon as I had enough money to adopt I would and it was right after I did grease on Broadway. And then they've been sporadic movies since then guest spots and you know I mean. I've had a career that I dreamed of as a kid in a kind of came true. Well what was the feeling like you know after being like probably heavily advised by representation to not do Broadway and then to actually do that part? You did Rizzo right so I mean was it. Totally worth it. You're like I'll fuck. This is the best thing I've ever done in my life. Well I signed up for a year. Which a lot. And it's not a musical Fiddler where you leave every night up lifted by the score. It was basically the premise of a pretty girl. Change yourself to these slutty girl so you can get the cute boy. That's the message of the plan so like I was there you know singing with high every night and like like the presence of God comply easily bored and and I was young and I you know I I wasn't loving the show but I will never forget the experience it's showbusiness always Broadway is what show business was. When I dreamed of show business right Rennes with everyone. Kind of the feeling. We hadn't club where you knew the local guys you all get it there at night and hang out. He can get to cheese platter something. Berry family issue about that and the only other place I've found that is on a broadway musical a Broadway cast's right so who were those guys when you were coming up on the island there? Who were the guys who were hanging out backstage? Oh well we had John Mullany Oh yeah I remember him. Her hand is good looking guy and what happened. That guy no. I always look for him comic wise. We had rich Jenny who passed that was shocking to me I remember. I filled in his weekend the weekend. He killed himself. I didn't know he didn't do it and then they gave it to me. He had he was having problems so we cancelled ninety up doing it and then while I was there he he killed himself Surrey Herald. He was the one everyone is going to take off. After seinfeld bright able he was huge. Quebec. I remember him being on the cover of things like the club act of the year and he was so fascinating and he hosted. Caroline's comedy hour which I think I did with him. He was a pretty Nice Guy. He was a very nice guy he was really kind of you know there were some that were really Kevin. Neal was really kind that there are people. I remember specifically as being really nice to the young female convicts and then they were the ones that scared me like Bill Hicks scared the hell on me but he was. He's just intense. I mean I don't think he was me t shirt kind of guy and I would just go. Hey we're allowed to burn around like Sam Sam Kennison yeah innocent scared the Shit Outta me. I remember going down to Texas and thinking. This is the worst place to have gigs because such a tight community of comics there and there were a lot of that with a bad boy you know. Oh so you're at the workshop. You were there before they left Texas. Yes I was there before. They left ten Hicks. He must have been like your age though. I mean he was a case he was a kid too and so we got a young kid. Your to your age headlining and I would go over. I was never there was a club I think was the comedy stop. The woman had lost her husband and two kids in a car accident. I I remember that place. I don't know if I know that story. So it was like a horror story that she had her. Two children were killed in a car accident that she was driving and then she ended up adopting two more kids in opening another club. Remember thinking that was the most unbelievable like I would have the courage crazy. So you thought so. That's interesting 'cause Hicks. I mean I would think that. In retrospect I mean a lot of material you would probably like but at the time he was really ahead of the curve screaming and the kind of Guy Guy. Yeah Yeah I mean. I had dinner with him in San Francisco in in the nineties and it was a lot vince champ. Oh God yeah. He was on the road with the Solo and he ended up to be assuming rape. Yeah he's imprisoned. I mean like gruesome Shipman. Believe I think I did when when I came when I was opening in Albuquerque where I grew up after I got fucked up on drugs in Los Angeles in the eighties. I think I open for him. I remember meeting him and talking to him. Like Nice guy kind of real kind of bland. Act Dumb really nothing specific and Kinda like wholesome like creatures can almost right. Yeah yeah well. This there was a whole thing about there was a whole trend of comics. I think in the eighties that were just one step ahead of alimony payments. You know tax running away from tax issues borderline criminals. We'll let me. I was eighteen years old and I was on the road with these guys thirties. Like new their wives will their wives. And then we go and they'd be picking up this girl were mackerel and the comedy condo or would try to put the dresser against the door so they can get it enough that it was intense. I have time date back to somebody. Parents allowed me to do that. Is that your that afraid like they were having a party? They invited a bunch of Weirdos over to the CONDO. Yes all the time. Yeah that's terrible terrible and I would always try to get with the female comics but first of all there were so few and they never look if they ever booked it. It was like the freak show winged female who worthy comics. That you looked up to Carolee for was pretty much starting at the same time I was. Who's a little bit older than me? A Lot Adrian. Tall chidlow well. Yeah she died as well. Are you friends with bill? Yes friends with you. Know who I love Greek Guy. That's good and did you know that Vic Henley had so sad that at first I thought it was Hogan but it was hard problem or something. He was a sweet guy very nice. Yeah Yeah I mean I think Vick was writing for Jeff Foxworthy for a while there. I haven't seen vacant a long time. I spent a lot of time in New York and he was always around but always like a really decent guy he do. You still do some stand up gigs here now. Every so often the goal is working. She'll call me sometimes and say come with me and elbow with her. She'll give me you know. Some of her China were like a regular. I feel bad because I remember what it was like when I was hanging out with I almost said Lou Diamond Phillips but Lou denies you at the Comedy Club. Walk Any mercy right when it was so horrible for you to wait all night and then have someone come in. Who obviously did need the wasn't help. So I feel a little guilty about making those stunted high hero am-among sture open mic night or the bumper. You buy you feel bad about bumping people exactly. Yeah Yeah it's It's always like I remember that feeling where you're like. You're almost on eleven thirty four people so do you. Do you ever Miss. Having the talk show. I do but I don't know that I'd be able to do it now. It's just eight you now. I mean I was in my thirties. I was thirty four years overnight. Didn't and I think that I had a different world view that I do now. I love doing at seeing the first night of the you know where we did for the actress. We raise money in one night thing like this and if there was a way do show like this where all that. Aspirational bullshit that we go through to be on talk shows all the part. That's pretense I no longer would be able to do something. The fake bullshit thankful should rise up on it was on Letterman the day before Kellyanne Rip Kelly Ripa and at the same story and you feel bad for being the guy that has to tell the story in the for the fourth time. I know what it's like to do. Press for a movie ranks. Feel sorry for them but you also feel like I just turned missing exact thing. It's that was hard so you did it every day every day. And it's like I mean I did radio a bit but I never had a hosted talk show and that is like such A. It's actually. It's a very difficult job because of that because of the energy that goes into acting interested and pretending you know all the stories they're gonNA tell. Sometimes I would be like I would look at the knows. I wouldn't look at the questions I would just be like. Let's see with fellows and then the producer's like what you didn't ask for number question number two. I know I was trying to make you real. You know black now. I do know this. You know this format you're much you much freer and you're much much more able to just kinda reach people on a human level rematch. But I think we're GONNA need as a nation after this. I think that's what people are GonNa want and they're interesting. Yeah well I think that right now. I'm finding that we even like when I usually do this in person which I I like doing and I think that people Especially now in in before people who are isolated or feel alone with whatever their life is when they can just shy kind of pipe in some other people talking of authentically about serious yet. They feel sort of represented wes alone better. And as yeah definitely GONNA need a lot of that but where did that? Where did that queen of knife thing come from one when I was starting on my TV show was right? After somebody got killed on Jenny Jones Jones had a guy on that was gaining a crush on a guy from his town. Mike God back to the town in the guy killed them right so that and then Geraldo getting punched in the face. That was happening when I was selling my show for the beginning. So when I came out and it wasn't like Geraldo or one of those shows that's what people stuck me with the queen of nuts. You know and I remember saying at the time this is going to be. The Queen of Fried Rice lied alive. Some never gonNA live this down. I was right now right first year that I was on TV. I went to seize deal at Caesar's so I went to finish up. My last. Two dates in the crowd had totally changed. It was all like senior citizens and there. I was doing my nightclub in Las Vegas as a headliner and it was full of headliner. Is Las Vegas Joke Jewelry? And they're like honey. Can you believe this is the girl? Gd KINDA ruined my stand. Isn't that the worst? Where like because I mean I experienced some of that only in that you have these different parts of your career and your personality but the stand up is really. That's what we built. Our lives on is a standard right. And and you know. There's a lot of push envelope. You push the envelope you push boundaries your filthy whatever it is but that's that's who we are and then all of a sudden you gotta be ashamed of that because again you don't WanNa make people sad or upset but they come in there and expectations and then the party you and your brain that that's beating the shit out of yourself all the time. When they do that I do stink. It's not right. It's somebody says you saw the first one to get on board right away. I think right. It's not lasting. You know where they're sitting what they're wearing what they wanted to drink. And you project a whole personality onto them you're like of course the you're the only one that's right in this room. I am terribly suck. Shouldn't even be here when you get comments. You know the people that go hit a nerve they the the you'll you'll just kind of scroll by all the Good Shit and then the one guy that says the one thing that Kinda hits your own insecurity like see. I'm I'm a monster I I shouldn't I hate it. I just went back on like I was away from it for a while. I just use it for promotion and now like it's everyone with all this time. There's just it's fucking shit show insurance and it's gotten to be so unhealthy that you know. I'm doing a live instagram. Thing like this every day for like twenty minutes that it's so easy. People seem to get a thrill out of going. Hi Mindy I feel like around here you know but I just say hi to people. They ask questions sometimes. And everyone's like thank you for doing this. I think I needed more than they do right. I've been doing it a radically like every few days and as a standup who keeps you kinda nice to connect in the live media way. Yes go on stage into that person's is they're going to be good. You know you can find it in a minute. Who's going to be somebody that you can play with? And who isn't right miss that you know you missed that communication. Yeah Well Look. It was great talking to you. Yeah it's nice to meet you. Finally I listen to you a lot. I really enjoyed podcast in your garage. Thank you very much. I appreciate that and I and I've always enjoyed you and I i. It surprised me that we hadn't met. And maybe we'll meet in person. Someday I rosie take care of yourself mark me and Rosie O'Donnell again. That's the first time we did that. And that's that's how it's going to be sometimes probably more times in the not. We'll see we'll see but she's in a limited series on. Hbo called. I know this much is true. Premiering may tendencies also raising money for the actors fund helping people in the performing arts. Who are out of work or dealing with financial hardship because of the pandemic Goto Actors Fund Dot. Org for more of that and now play some guitar through a pedal and also I just wanted to say for those who are keeping up no word on on the wellbeing of Gary Okay. I'll talk to you later. Guitar Time Back over took her domer-.