193: Abortion Rights

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hi, it's Jamie, progressive's number one number two employee. Leave a message at the hey Jamie. It's me, Jamie. This is your daily pep talk. I know it's been rough going ever since people found out about your Capella group, mad harmony, but you will bounce back. I mean, you're the guy always helping people find coverage options with the name your price tool. It should be you giving me the pep talk. Now, get out there, hit that high note, and take mad harmony all the way to nationals this year. Sorry, it's pitchy. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. This is episode eighty one of done toke a Brooklyn state of mind. Four three two one zero ignition. What's up guys, what the dawn tell recorded at the rogue spear studios and tipped in Georgia on land where located at Don dot show. Don talk show on Facebook. Don Ed kissing on Twitter and done told onto our voicemail number is four two four three four zero zero Don, that's or two four three four zero zero three six six. Thank you for joining me for another episode of done town. Oh my God. Let me tell you. I am. So stoked for today show, I had the opportunity and the honor to reconnect with one of my high school friends. Now I won't say that, that she and I hung out together all the time during high school. And man, there's a lot then in hindsight, as, as you'll discover in the interview that I was so oblivious to. In, you know, in that's probably just the way it is in life. You've got your mind concentrated on certain things in high school. You know. Guys on girls girls on guys hail, even back then it could have been guys about guys and girls about girls. But who hail, no, you didn't talk about any of that, right? So my friend, Susan can't she's afar. Native that was transplanted to FitzGerald Georgia at the young age of six. And as she points out in a Facebook post on August thirteenth two thousand seventeen FitzGerald is a small town in South Georgia that was settled by union soldiers after the end of the civil war to create a retirement colony for veterans in the warmer climate. Fitzgerald is historically marked by union named streets on the east side of town and confederate ones on the west. It's a town as Susan points out that boasts history. Harmony heritage. It's also a town one that I'll admit I was oblivious to Enchaine fully so that even in two thousand seventeen still holds separate proms one for white students. And one for black students. I reconnected with Susan after almost thirty years because as a writer in a world traveler, she has some interesting stories to tell stories that demonstrate just how insular an isolated our upbringing in this small southern town was and how unfortunately not much seems to have changed even thirty years later so without further delay. I give you my interview with my friend, a very like minded individual. A former high school buddy. Susan kent. With me today is. Susan, I don't I don't really know how to describe you. We win. We went to school together. You know, honestly, I did not realize that you were originally from Florida. Was born in Jacksonville and lived there until I was six, and then moved in to fill up my parents got divorced, because my mom had been born in raised in FitzGerald, a really. So she's originally from FitzGerald. Yeah. Yes. She's old school. Worked at the Coca Cola bottling plant when she was in high school leg. Okay. So that makes sense as to why you wound up in FitzGerald. That was the one thing I could never figure out because I looked at it went when the hail with anybody wind up in FitzGerald. I mean really? And that's how I felt about it. Yeah. And, you know, when I was I was born and raised in FitzGerald. So your, your perspective is just slightly different from Mina granted, you say you move to fister when you were six so it's, it's not like. It's not like I guess you had certain opinions in preconceived notions that were already formed for a number of years. But even at six I guess you, you saw a stark contrast between your environment in Florida and your environment in FitzGerald. Is that right? Oh, yeah, for sure. Because, you know, like I was in a big city compared if it's jump for sure and was, you know, there were seven elevens, and there was so much like my world with go into preschool, I was at a camp where we had horses in lakes and like, there was a lot going on. And it was very multicultural and. So just wasn't. Like a you know, like a really lush kind of life, but going into FitzGerald where I got there. There was a Dairy Queen didn't have MacDonald yet. Louis, right. That's right. I remembered the. I it's almost like you'd call it the, the urban sprawl that we suddenly had where everything started getting built out. Oh, god. What side of town would that have been? I'm terrible with directions. Then that's the south end, isn't it because it's going down towards Phil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it would have been the south end. So, yeah, we had that sprawl out there where we have intially got a WalMart. And then we got a Burger King in. Captain D's and then Taco Bell. I mean my God, we were in cotton, when we got Burger King, and, and WalMart. That was he. Because when I got there, there was TJ why. Parking lot. I guess, winn-dixie was there. I think so they're rarely I think Hardee's maybe was there already. But really it was. I could've counted, the number of red lights. Yes. I mean honestly, when it comes to food Hardee's was probably the number one spot because of where it was located. It was because this was back before we had the one ways, you know, the whole cruising was still the main street. Because right now at Sherman grant. And grant was actually a two way street at that point member at changing it was right before we turn like sixteen and I was so disappointed. 'cause I couldn't wait to go cruising. Yeah. And then that, Hank it. And so we missed out on that. Yeah, I, I don't know. Who was that? I was with, but I remember being in a car cruising on a Friday night, and in honestly, being who I was and being such an introverted person. I never got out. And so that was that was an oddity for me. So. Yeah. Never really got that opportunity to do that whole one single street down the middle of town, kind of cruising where you, I mean, traffic was at a standstill where you actually looking at one, another in could actually converse from card car. And all the adults are so upset because it was just ruined and traffic, 'cause everybody had so many places to go and FitzGerald on a Friday night. I mean. Shut up. You'll folks, go home and west television. Around like we just driving here. So instead, once they did that it was like, well, we could go out to boom, let anybody in. Never went there. Didn't. It was the magic. No, I was. Oh, I was just going to say it was just like a free for all party for anyone who could prove that they could process oxygen basically no age limit. It was just come on in. I never win. The the, the orchard. Never all those places. I never went to any of those places where you just introverted. Yeah. Well, I was very private drunk, so. No, I was out and proud. I hung out with a very small clique of friends. That was my cousin Greg. You remember Greg Greis? Yeah, he he and our like brothers because whenever he moved out in the country. I guess we were around I was around fourteen. Maybe thirteen fourteen whenever he moved out there, because normally he'd been in the city. And so that's the reason why he never really hung together is because he was a city kid. He went to city school and, and so around around about thirteen or fourteen for me, which would have been eighty three eighty four is dad bought some property right down the road from where I lived, and then he moved out there and we became really good friends, almost like brothers. So it was it was me. Troy Griffin which was actually Trent's older brother in Trent was in our grade, but Troy graduated in eighty six and I wound up being better friends with Troy than it did with Trent. Most of my closest friends were from the class, eighty six. Yeah. Yeah. I mean McKesson Brenda is I believe she's classified eighty six. Oh, yes, she is. I remember because I've still really good friends with Pat, Huggins and Alan win. You Alan win is the first person I met when I moved to fish out 'cause his mom and my mom were best friends since like first grade. Cool. Yeah. It's weird. You know. So Choi was Choi was one of these guys now granted I had the typical fake ID, so certain liquor stores I could go to and actually pass off and get some, some alcohol, but it didn't always work and. But Choi being older in two years older, he was able to start buying alcohol for all of us. When I mean he hit twenty one and I was nineteen. So then yeah, yeah. So that's the reason. Why hardly win it. We, we would actually find it. We'd either be at my house. Especially either not so much during my first marriage, but definitely during the second, you know, the beginning of our second one, when, when leeann I got married and it everybody just convalesced at my house. I mean, they just boom is every Friday or Saturday night. Everybody had to be at my house. I and I don't know why. But or we'd find this a field somewhere and we'd all drive out now and always be somewhere that was out in the boondocks. And so we'd be safe. And but I guess that's the reason why I never went to any of those places like like Boone's or the orchard, or any of those places. I just clay hit. Yeah. Yeah. I never like I remember all these just, you know, very basically named places. Yeah rocks, the rocks were and the clay pit was that big clip. It the funny thing about. Wrongs that I did at the time was, and I'm trying to remember what it's called t. Frigging Alzheimer's anyway. And that doesn't at an apologist. Anybody who actually has someone who suffers from that sometimes my mouth, just engages without thinking, but. I've noticed in my late later forties. My memories complete shit. But the rocks is actually a place. I didn't realize it, too many years later, where my dad grew up, and he used to take me out there all the time for target practicing. We'd rather and shoot the guns. Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't realize it was the rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you can't get in there now. I mean, they locked the place up many years today. Yeah. It's been so long I've been out if it's showed for thirty years now, I would just third twenty twenty but still will cause you you moved to. You're in. You're in New Yorker. You're in Brooklyn. Where are you? Exactly. I'm in Brooklyn. Okay. And this is going to show my ignorance I, I know there, there's like you got, like boroughs, I guess. Or right. So the city is all of. So it's. In Manhattan, the Bronx and queens, are the five boroughs, but that's basically dislike neighborhoods to help with geography. They're all considered New York City. Gotcha. But then we all have our own personalities and identities and Brooklyn, especially the past few years. Brooklyn has become like this icon, somehow where it's like now the best borough that, you know. According to people who live in Brooklyn. Yeah. Of course, and it's gotten really like and it's probably a lot to do with music because so many rappers come out of Brooklyn the same way that, like the Bronx has its own identity, you out in the world. But we're all New York City. Cool. I got a I got a friend who's also successful podcast her name Andrews Air area who actually lives in queens. Matter of fact, the name of his podcasting network is Jeff cue which stands for gas from queens. So I met him a couple years ago. So that, that's the extent of what I know about that area there. I know he lives in queens, a new that there were different boroughs, and they seem to all have their own little identities. As far as you know, differences between one another but they were all alternate -ly part of New York. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Have you? You've never been up new. Let me let me explain to you, how Darrow Don here has traveled ah been the Florida been Alabama of been Tennessee. I have flown to Las Vegas in nineteen ninety three have flown to Virginia for training back in the nineties because of the company I work for. And let's see. I've been the Mississippi. Yes. You've never been to New Orleans bloody, but never actually Norrland's. Oh, wow. That's crazy. I mean that's so typical of down there though. It's touching Georgia than you might make it, you know, but people just don't travel the same way and especially being so far south, and it's like three hour drive just to get to the airport. I know let me tell you a little story about that. All right. So, you know, I got three kids two boys in, in a daughter mode, L neighbor do. My oldest son Devon who will be twenty five in November. He he started off now. We home school our kids, so we, we weren't trying to protect them from the world. But we were trying to protect him from shitty education system, and so far we did have a very good job. None of them have any desires to go to college. They wanna try to figure out what it is that they wanna do, but now Devon having never step foot on a plane never having been, I don't even think he'd ever been out of the state of Georgia, because we never actually traveled outside the state of Georgia. No, I take that back. He did when he was a baby. He went with us down to it was the, the Gulf. Oh, god. I'm trying to remember the name of the town. We actually got a condo down there. Because the company I was working for at the time we sold pagers, and the pager company had a condo that their dealers could could sign up to use Pensacola, we went down to Pensacola. All right. So that was the one and only time that Devon ever actually had ever been out of the state. So he works his way from volunteering to getting a contracting job to getting a fulltime job with twitch dot TV, which is you know, the number one game streaming platform on the planet that was bought by Amazon for almost billion dollars a couple years ago. Funny, I didn't know that existed until I heard your podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I mean who wouldn't think that other people would want to watch someone play video games? Right. But it is a God. It's. It is it is. I knew about. Yeah. I've heard that. I so I work at a bar up here, and we have a night, once a month where people come in, and they have a dance party with choreographed pieces based on music intros to video games. Wow. This little room of nerds who are all just, like, they're the guys who go home and then watch other guys play video games. And it's like this culture that fascinating the me. They're so cute. They dissolve get back there in their low nerdy circle, and do these dances to like anime or video games rate. Okay. I didn't know about that. That's, that's freaking awesome. That is also. So, you know, Devon got this job, but the thing was he had to relocate San Francisco. And we were proud of him, of course, but Harith because here here is our child who had never been out of the state except once when he was a baby had never been on a plane in his entire life. And I hate plane plane travel, now, because of the way the security is, I mean back in the ninety traveling on a plane, I, I actually liked it. Once I got over the initial fear, but I don't wanna go through the bullshit of security now. So we, we put him on a plane. We drive down the Valdosta. Put him on a plane on my birthday in two thousand fifteen for him to fly to Atlanta. Get a connecting flight and fly all the way to San Francisco. And that first year he comes back the next December to visit. So we go. And of course that was a whole elaborate deal because there was a storm coming in. He flew in on Christmas Eve day and got called in Atlanta and couldn't get a damn flat out until almost seven o'clock that night. So I was about ready to drive up there and get his ass. And he told me not to. So we get him and we're driving back from Valdosta. And this whole this, this is all leading to what you were just talking about, as far as everything being so spread out. We're driving along the interstate. And he says, you know what I said, what he said, you can't get any fucking wear in this godforsaken state without a car. And I'm like, yeah, you're absolutely right. He said, everything is so far away from each other said, so different, San Francisco. And even though he wasn't living in San Francisco proper, then he was actually living in an apartment, where he would have to take an Uber to get to a or I think he had to take an Uber to get to the bus. The bus only came around, like every forty five minutes to take him to the actual train station, and then he'd take the train into San Francisco. He since moved his rent, of course, went up two and a half times. But. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. But you're right. I mean in so very much I guess he hit culture shock going out there, but the weird thing is maybe this is the same situation for you. He fits in out there. He doesn't fit in here. Well, I don't know if you remember, but I never fit in down here down there. Was always kind of the weirdo, like I would think of myself as Allie Sheedy in breakfast club. You know, I would wear hats like not baseball trucker caps. I was wearing like blossom hats and I was the only one at school doing it. I went through a Goth phase. You know. I was always a little edgy indifferent and ever felt at home. There. We like it always felt like for now. Not forever. Like there was always a part of you missing. It was something that you just couldn't put your hands on. And it's like one day, one day I will find that missing piece. Yeah. There was always the sense of. I don't I don't know what I wanna do. But I know it's not here. I have no idea what it is or where it is not Georgia. I completely get that we, my wife and I both feel that same way in, but we're. We're kinda locked in right now. You know, I mean, I would literally have to just say fuck it pack up and go somewhere and just either rent the house, or I mean I don't know. And that's what that's what we keep trying to figure out how to do to is because our daughter is, like, don't don't put down roots here. Don't put down roots here. She wants to get the hell out, but she doesn't she's an aspiring writer. And she her stories are, are, you know, they need a little honing like anybody does whenever they're starting out or what have you. But she's been riding for a couple years now, but I definitely understand that feeling in, because we honestly, we don't fit in down here either, especially as a, you know, she's a black sheep like none other. So that's I see. And I connected we hang out a lot back in the day. Yeah. She was another weirdo. And I was like, oh my people. Yeah. Yeah. But she was in talked about this. She was, but she was he was kind of a victim of the area because I mean she's originally from coordial, and she did a lot of moving around until they settled down, and FitzGerald. I think in eighty two but she remember. Yeah, she had to be somewhat reserved. But still weird in a. Yeah. If you thought she was weird then. Face post, because she'll just go off, and I'm like you're going to get in so much trouble. But that's awesome. She does. I mean she's had oh she is she's very anti corporate in a specially the job that she's in right now. Yeah. She, she cannot stand. The fact that the company can't actually get creativity in. It's a company this not based anywhere close to, to the south. But yet, they, they try to run everything like. Oh, well everybody in every area that we have a store likes this or that and lease like you don't know the south very way. But. Yes. So I definitely definitely get that. And. When I started when I started saying, I think I came across your, your blog a couple years ago, because I actually, and I don't mean this the way it sounds, I had actually forgotten about you, but not like, oh, well, yeah. The way you know, like just goes on. Of course, whenever I found out you were up there. I was like, wait, what? And then I started you did that you told that story about the baby and all that. I mean I was when I listened to that I was, I was slack jawed. I was like I had no idea. I had no end is going on. That's the point. You know that's the south. It's all secret like so many friends after that story came out. And so for anybody who's listening I. I was nineteen and I got pregnant, and I was living in FitzGerald. And so I had no because I would have done that I just couldn't get there because I didn't have a car. So like your son point out, you have to have a car or you're stuck. Aide. I was like Jesus. Listen, you know, I don't need this baby like come out and that didn't work. And ended up having baby for adoption and once I became a storyteller up here that was my story. I retold 'cause if I'm gonna tell a story that I'm telling the best one I have and than that kind of got out in so many people from high school who heard it reached out. Instead, the same thing you know, I had no idea that was going on. And it would tell me their stories of what was going on for them at that time, which have just have been just shocking in devastating. You know, people who had been abused by their parents or had had an abortion, like different things that. Each other about just the southern way. Yeah. You know, and I know it really doesn't do any good now. But whenever I hear stories like this, you know, hear your story and I'm like, I, I know it wouldn't have done any good because I was a completely different person back, then, you know, eighteen nineteen whatever I was completely one hundred percent, self absorbed and every year old is. Yeah. I mean, honestly, all I cared about was was where I could get my dick, you know. Yeah. And and how many times I could do it with how many girls that kind of thing. And now I look back at that. And I'm like you were such a damn shit hole in, you know. You know why? While couldn't you have been a better person. And, and then I hear stories like this, and I'm pissed off because I didn't know that it was going on. And then I get pissed off at myself because I'm like, even if I did had known if a head known it was going on. I wouldn't have done anything because I was so fucking self absorbed. Well, fucks sucks to be her right? Kind of thing. It man. I tell you, we, we have grown so much and. It's now found it's called baby girl right, that you did the moth, the true stories told love. All right. I just found it. I'm going to add this in the show notes that people can actually go and listen to this, 'cause this I damn near cried whenever I was listening to this. I was like, wow, this is this is also. Thank you. Yeah. That babies born right there anted, too. Yeah. Seven years ago this year in in, you gave it up for adoption. Yeah. I went in Dr dorm, Andy. Because I had kept it. Hidden from my mother the entire time, which I can't even imagine how that happened. But anybody who remembers me from like hundred eighty nine when I got real fat I wasn't that was pregnant and basically the fashion at the time was those like stretch pants and huge sweaters. So it just worked out. I kind of went into hiding because we graduated from high school. And so, I just didn't go anywhere, and I didn't hang out with anybody, and went to the hospital in, like I woke my mom up after I had been in labor for several hours and was like, hey, I guess, I have to tell you now I need to go to the hospital. I'm having a baby and. So. Gerald. She didn't wanna go to the hospital because people would find out. I'm hearing your your hilt be damned. It's all about appearances. Yeah. I was covered in blood, and she was like, well, there's no gas in the car. I don't know what we're going to do. So when mister C's on grant street, right there, granton, whatever note that central whatever it is. So I don't know one of those referal streets. We went there and got gas and I'm sitting there like in contractions, and we're filling up the car, so then we can make the Tiffin and we drove like ninety miles an hour through the backwoods. And so when I got there, I told the doctor, I didn't wanna see the baby because I knew that I couldn't keep the baby and I knew that if I saw the baby, I wouldn't be able to let go and dodger dorm, said, well, you know, I know a family who wants a baby. All right. Great. That's perfect. And away my rights the next morning. How does that make you feel now? Or do you even think about it? It's actually I just started getting a little emotional about talking to you knowing that this is based in that town. And this is probably the closest that this story has been out publicly where my daughter was born or she was adopted in, you know, the idea that. This could possibly lead to her contact me if she wanted to. Yeah. That's how would how would you. In. And of course, like I told you before we started, if any of this gets to the point where you're like, we just need to stop, you just tell me. No. I'm okay what I've wanted. How would you feel if she did contact you? So north. Yeah. So I would have a billion emotions excitement and sphere. And you know. So much anxiety because she's an adult, right? And I don't have any idea what life I put her into and who she like is, she more like me is, she super-conservative? Is she angry at me? Deceit want to meet me. You know, which is why never tried to find her. One of those things just the I guess the less, you know about it the better off, you are. But then there's that little bit knowing in your brain going, but what if what if an also, I feel like I made my choice, and it wasn't my place to go back into her life. You. My records open. The issue it being from fish show, because I. Although I knew who the father was. The admit some guy the keg party in Jacksonville. But I could have gotten to him at that point, you know, I told. That I didn't know who the father was so that I had full. Whether to get for you could make the decision. Yeah. And so, basically, I went on record as a slut, you know, gosh. I mean I'm not I'm not laughing. But you get it. I get it. Yeah. Spatially down here. It's like, oh my God. Look at that. Did you hear about the floozy? Yeah. Come on, folks. Jesus. And that was a big choice. And it was a hard one in the moment, you know, looking at my I'm sitting in a room daughter door me and my mom, and I actually started making I was like, well, I know who it is. 'cause I told my mom it was some boy, I dated around the time I got pregnant, so that she didn't think I was, you know, had gone to a keg party and head one night stand, which is what happened. That didn't work and they were like what we have to let his family now and I was like, well, what if it's one of my boyfriends at the time had committed suicide, it was during that span those couple years, where like six or seven people killed themselves back in high school. So I was like, what if I say it's him, and then we had to notify his family, and send it was like one if I say, I don't know who it is. And Dr Ormondy I think he just recently died. Right. Honestly, I don't know. About well, this is much thirty years ago. But he said, I've been waiting for you to say that. And I guess he was he meant it he meant it genuinely like nor like this is the only way we can make this happen and quickly because I was very concerned about getting the baby to the family as soon as possible because of, you know, there's first few days are so important for Bonderman. And I wanted this family to know like, okay, I've made my choice, and I'm not gonna change my mind because they give you a chance to do that. And I was like, no I've been thinking about this on my own for six months. My first trimester knew that the abortion wasn't going to happen. I can I cannot imagine what what you're going through at that point. I mean, knowing where you live. Your mother's reaction was very telling. Yeah. And. I'll. I'll be honest with you. Mussoorie ahead something not exactly like that. But the, the woman that I married. The first my first marriage a met her working at WalMart. Fitzgerald, we wound up being in the same department. And we were dating and. She went on to pregnant. And I, I can't remember honestly if at the time we were getting to the point where this, this was kind of, like one of those things where I thought it was love, but it wasn't. It was just a good time liked her. She liked me kind of thing, and, and I'll be honest with you Lee was trying to come back into the picture at the same time. So anyway. I know I come out, I come out out of garden center, I'd get off work. This is after I'd, I'd got a nineteen eighty nine Cavaliers e twenty four like electric blue. It was the only one in town how Mackey had an older version. But you know I one up his ass. And got the newer version, I love that. Yeah. Well outcome, I'd come out in, there would be one single rose in the little door. Jamil Maya on my car. And that was from Lee. And. Yeah. Anyway, ask her about it. One day. So around, you know, well, this was happening this girl that I was dating went up getting pregnant, and I was like, in before all of this happened. Her parents, her dad was a farmer. Her parents, absolutely loved me. I could do. No wrong. You know, her dad was a farmer her mom was nurse. She had a brother I go there and hang out all the time at their place. You know, eat dinner with them whatever we wanted to do, and I don't know if at the time it was because my dad worked for Delco Remy. So we were considered more like middle middle to upper middle class. I guess because that was one of those delta. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if that's what they were looking at, like, yeah, we will marry daughter off to somebody that's got money, which little did they know that we didn't really have money and then she gets pregnant, and then they turn on her. I mean, turn bad, and they force her to go to Atlanta and get an abortion. Yeah. And, and then yeah. In in it got worse. I mean, they, they would not let up on her, and she and I'd be on the phone and her mom would be in their calling her all kinds of names core and slut. And I finally just enter aunt was trying to intervene. And I just had enough one night, I was like sums, gotta give. And so I grabbed my mom my mom with me. We went over there and the girl, and I and I'm not saying her name because I anybody that knows me knows this story. But I, I just, I don't want it to bring up bad memories for her if she wants up hearing this, or somebody that she knows up hearing this, but she thinks about it all the time. Anyway, we, we have talked, we, we've actually made a men's if you will. Will because the marriage only lasted seven months and the only reason why I did it was because that night I felt so bad in shamed of what her parents were putting her through that. I looked at it or not said, why don't we just get married? Let me get you out of this ship. Well, that that was a tail tail statement, right there. Let me get you out of this shit, not that I love you. Let's have a life together. Lifeline? This is no right? You know, this penance for me, getting pregnant and look. Yeah. But that's also very kind and. That's what you think is the best thing to do. I mean, I guess the chivalry part kind of kicked in a little late for me. But, but yeah. And say all of that say that this is the. Exactly what you're talking about. What your situation this is the fuck in culture that we have down here that it's all about appearances. And we know this shit goes on all the time. Just like you say that people reaching out to you after your story became more public, and they're like, well, let me tell you about this, or this abuse or this that knee other. You know, I've, I'm so honored that they do that. And I'm so glad that we're finally at a place where we can talk about stuff, even though it's not. But still same way has always been. But the fact that they can talk to me, sure, sure there about these things, you know, it up believe this one of the problems, it will it's progress because one of the problems that we have in society today, we've had for a very long time. And hopefully you agree with this is lack of communication. People are so fucking afraid to, to actually expound an opinion on something. You know, this, this whole racism thing, and you did a hell of a damn good post on Facebook that I'll again, I was sitting here slack doll because I learned something in this post I actually talked to Lee, and I said, was just that fucking oblivious to what was going on. I didn't realize we had separated proms. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I did not know this. I was so I had blinders on apparently growing up now, as you know, in told you that story with, with Antony and everything, that's when it really hit me, how racist, my family was an and don't get me wrong love my family loved my dad. I love my mom and a love my grandmother, but Imigran mother was one of the worst ones. I mean, we'd be sitting in a restaurant somewhere. She just be openly talking about, you know, a black couple over there and just dropping the in word left, and right. And we're going. Bequeathed grandma. But I did not. I did not realize that we actually had separated proms. It never don't know me to look around ago. Wow. This is Mahdi whitewashed around here. Yeah. I mean we would. So I went to prom five times, I started in eighth grade. And when I went to one and Assila like, promise thing, and most of the time when I go, we would go to the elks large in do couple of dances. And then we head over to monitored and dance the black prom. From and. One of the reasons because I spoke up about how ridiculous it was. 'cause we were. Junior year when I was on prom committee. This is ridiculous that we do this. And some of the reasons were like, well walking white kids, just like different music. God. Can you say such a any more of a racist statement than that on? I know. And, you know, but of course, underneath, it is, will then black and white kids dance together, and then they might be in relationships together. And then, you know, chaos and like your grandma, she's from the time when that was okay. That was, you know, Jim crow laws and the grand theater with its separate entrance for black people. And. Right. I didn't get it. Honestly. I mean the way. Growing up in the south and growing up with with the father that I had. Now that I can think back on it. I can definitely see the, the racist tendencies that he had the way he would talk about those people or he would actually drop the n word. It was just common vernacular for people of, of his era, and my, my grandmother's era and art. Do I school. Friends are high school friends. Did the same thing I, I guess, I guess they did in and I'm not saying that I I'm not gonna say here and tell you I was a Saint, and never actually said it. But thinking back. I'm not sure that I could ever dentist where I would would have said that, because the friends that the friends that I kept I don't remember them actually talking that way. And again, faulty memory here, maybe wishful thinking, maybe I'm, I'm trying to make our high school days better than what they were. But yeah I don't disagree with you. I know that they had because those we have people in our age group, that probably still feel that way today. I mean, there was a guy that we graduate high school with, and I won't say his name, but he posted it on Facebook was like talking about the president will evolve right like that in word, blah, blah. And it was like, I can't believe you're saying this, and he's like my black friends. No, there's a difference in. Really? Your black friends are okay with your disuse in this word all the time. And of course, he blocked me and whatever. But. Great. See you. That's like that happened three years ago. Wow. Well voted for Obama twice. I mean obviously everybody would that. Yeah, yeah. And I mean in this coming from someone who grew up in a really conservative Republican. Household for me. My dad was all about Ronald Reagan, and, and then George Bush and hated Clinton. And so, you know, I, I grew up with would that ideology. And so I kind of I kind of followed it, and so that really kinda informed decisions up until a voted for of voted for Bush. W the first time a voted against him the second time and then I definitely went with Obama because I was like I was ready for a change, you know, all these wars and all of that. And, and I thought it would be cool to finally show some damn progress that we, we didn't have an actual just standard old white dude, sitting in the in the White House. I mean Clinton was a young white, dude. And he was hip, you know, going on. They are senio hall show and playing the saxophone and all of that. And then that was cool. But to me, having Barack Obama's president was finally telling of where we finally arrived, and I did not realize how divisive that was going to be. And then when we wind up with Trump hell even worse. I mean it was like, did we just we just put the racism on pause for a few years? And then. And then it just been building in backing up. And then someone said, okay now play in all the bullshit. Just came out, or has it just been hiding the whole time, but it's been there underneath the surface, you know, I think it's been there and. That it has helped put a spotlight on things that are really racist. Like. I don't think that people are as a wear just like you're saying that you didn't realize that the Prins were segregated it. And I think our difference is that six year period when I didn't lymph itchy Georgia because it was different. And for you, that was just what that was just the dance, and that's just what it was in, like our seventh grade dance the black kids knit gives us great dance. We all got because we went to elks lodge, where black people weren't allowed in. And it's just so ingrained that. People travel, right? Says bass different than what they know they don't have a perspective. You don't get any sort of opposing opinion. A to light really click there. And I think that Obama being in the White House, and it being such a huge scene for people that it probably agitated people enough to start speaking out on whatever side. Yeah. Well, that's like I didn't realize the elks lodge was. Was closed to, to bite people. It never was in the in their bylaws, whatever, yeah. You never occurred to me that the country club is also very, very blatantly, no blacks. But then I was when I was home for one of the most recent high school, reunions, I was talking with some of the black girls that we graduated with, and I asked about the seventh grade dance I was like where did you guys did you guys have yours at monitor? And that's when I found out they didn't even have one and then we started talking just about how town was for us. And they said that, you know, they never went to crystal lake or delake be, or even to the bowling alley. And even though there were no official rules that they couldn't go. They knew they couldn't go. They were not welcome. And. Struck me because I remember being a kid and thinking. Well, I guess lot people just don't like bowling. Just was so racist. But like it was the only thing that made sense to me. Because there weren't any. And I wasn't. Where enough to realize that those, you know, taboos enlisted in such as strict way. He said. Now, is it is it true that in two thousand eighteen this'll be finally the first year that fits Joe, Georgia will actually have a combined prom? While that is the rumor. So when I posted that on Facebook about our hometown and you know about how racists it is even though it's all built under the guise of harmony that mean harmony for the white soldiers guess against. Somebody said it's going to be different this year. A white woman who still lives official. I believe, and then one of our black classmates China in will believe it when I see it. So. So we'll believe it when we see. Yeah. That's where I am on it. 'cause, you know, when the first woman said, oh, no, it's changing this year. I was like, okay great. Because I you know, I believed her. And then when I think it probably was Michelle or Sonia, somebody that we graduated with was like, yeah, right. Ho- yeah, yeah. The point. The point enough flight will say. My wife was, she's got a she's got a co worker, who is he's a black guy, and he's actually he he's, he's really cool because he, he loves to joke about the fact that his people are actually, the white people. He's, he's more white than he is black kind of mentality. Yeah. And she was actually mentioned the fact that we, we as in FitzGerald say, because I, I really don't associate with town anymore. I mean my mom lives over there. That's it. I couldn't get to shits about that town. She was mentioning the separate proms, and he almost snapped his head. You know, knee-jerk reaction like wait. What is like? As in two thousand seventeen they still have a separated prom. He's like you have got to be kidding me. No, no, no. And it just, you know, it's a town where the mayor was in office for thirty plus years. The chief of police was in office for thirty plus years, like just doesn't change there. And the same people have been empowered the whole time. And so, how is it gonna change? Creating the world they want. Right. That's true. And it yeah. It blew me away. Whenever the mayor finally said, I'm not running for reelection. I'm like holy crap. It was a big deal, you know, 'cause I being friends with people on Facebook, which is really how I keep up with anything. That happens down there. I saw that. And I was like, oh, wow. They change. It look that it. Yeah. Whenever whenever I drive back over there, casually whenever I need help them on with something. The town and granted, I worked there for two years from two thousand two thousand a little over two two thousand thirteen to two thousand fifteen and now I go back over there after not being there a month or two at a time that place, it, it's soul-sucking in, I hate to say that about my hometown. But when you drive in a I get the same failing whenever I drive ineffectual that I get whenever I walk into a WalMart store is like the above is standing there. Waiting for me to just pull my soul out handed to him. So I can go on about my day, not that I believe in soul, but you know what? You know what I'm saying? I mean like demento like, Harry Potter. Let's it, that's it. And that's the way dementia sucking, your will to live out of your face, and it, it's so sad. There's just this. At is so stagnant in depressed, in it just gets to you. I can't get their level. Yeah. Me too in something that you mentioned because I listened to interview that you did on fish out of Agua, which is an interesting name for a show, by the way, you, turn me on to something that I didn't even know exists that Radio Free Brooklyn. That is cool because that is the same type of thing that I've been trying to get around to starting here is something laws on. So it's kinda give me a little bit of insight as to how to go about it because I did run an actual rock an online rock station for about six months. I call it Tipton rock radio and it was, it was basically, the music that you and I grew up with in the eighties. That in but it calls it was a lot of money going out and nothing coming in so yeah, but. I just lost my trying to the whole. Oh, well, that's what happens whenever I'm like, let me talk about me for a minute. Let's see. Talking about fish out with the podcast. You heard Gan there was minus specific that you said in it. Oh, well, it'll come back to me. I guess the other thing is you're, you're somewhat of a creature of culture because you spent a year living in Italy. Yeah, yeah, I studied abroad, over there with Florida's say and was there for a semester and. Endlessly, like I need to get back here and the director, put me back on to come over as a. I ended up there for a while. And it was just that changed me in ways that I just explained like the concept of Italian food. Which is something like in FitzGerald. It was Pizza Hut. That's talion gift to Italy. They're human beings who have families who are living in this world that you've never touched or sane. And then you like, oh, Italian food is Italians clicked this worldview in for me in a way that I had never experienced when I went to Italy I lived in. Strobe tift in Jacksonville like these little towns, all within the same. Area. Leumi away expanded my worldview. It made me understand how vast this planet is. And I appreciated other people and other cultures so much more at the same time, I also got a new appreciation for living in America, and even. To appreciating living in the south that went to a little warmer. Well, I guess you could always say you appreciate having lived in the south so you can see what not to do. That's exactly right. And just because I also feel like I have this unique perspective growing up in that hometown, end being the fish show, kid, you know, and then getting out and Italy was really. Did it was the way I did everything a friend of mine in one of my classes said, hey, I'm studying in Florence next semester, should come with me. Like, really? Okay. I didn't even know that was a thing and I went in. Almost like, hey, is this the thing I could do and they found loans for me? And so I took off to Italy. Didn't know the word Challe was talian. Taking I'd take a misread off French classes in high school, and then I'd taken Spanish in college, and so new Noah talian and flew over by myself a lot like your oldest son where, you know, definitely official. Exactly. And just took off to Italy by myself figured it out. I think that everybody should study abroad. So it, it really did help inform the way that you've you things. Now I mean, you said it's somewhat that you can't describe it, but you're definitely you could see a point where if you look back on your life before going to Italy, and then after you're, you're definitely a different person. I am not the same person. Absolutely from the moment. I got there just I got. So I flew into wrong. I was supposed to call my landlord to let them know that I was in the country. And then I was taking a train to. Some picking up the pay phones. And I was like, oh, they're not working. And I'm listening to every phone. They've all got this weird noise. And I was like, God all the phones are broken. This doesn't even make sense. And it was because I hadn't realized that in a different country, the dial tone is different. You know, and it simple things like that where you're just like your mind is blown a kid from a population nine thousand whatever at the time. It just I mean think about it, I believe there's only two or maybe three countries in the world, that actually have sixty Hertz power, everybody else is fifty in the United States is sixty Japan. I think is sixty and there's one other country that sixty everybody else is fifty Hertz, so the cycles in the powers different. So the telephones would definitely be different to. That's so funny. I hadn't realized that yet because you have to have the power converter. Right. Right. And I mean granted standard telephone power over here is negative forty eight volts DC. And then when it's ringing voltage is run one hundred five which is the reason why if you're touching the wires when the phone rings, shocks, you I don't know what it is in other countries. But I'm just I'm just thinking that, if the if the standard AC power is different than it, it reasons that the telephones would be too, and I mean, that would that would have thrown me to I would have known how to use a damn things. I'd be like his broken what am I gonna pay? And I just got on the train 'cause I was like, I gotta get the Florence. I don't know where I'm going to sleep in can't speak, any of the language and NFL the little, you know, but it was just. Carrie Ann intimidated. And so at the same time just like oh my God. Look, imagine, you're sitting there is like, I don't know where I'm going to stay. I don't know any of the language. But holy crap. This is fun. Ever. Tara. Exhilarating terrorists, the past well tell you what you've definitely been building. Some some live stories, so tell me. Now I know that listening to some of the, the interviews that you've done that you've you've always had an affinity for writing even from writing in the diary to riding in notebooks. And you just kinda fell into the whole storytelling thing. So what is what is this? I mean because I kept saying it, and I know that it's now done, but you're bringing it back for like one night, only or something or you did, what is Brooklyn, a west Tillett Brooklyn Brooklyn is, was a monthly showed that a friend of mine, and I did. Of a bar, we would get together, and we had a can and a peanut can cause we're both. She's from Texas. And from Georgia. So we got a peanut thing and. So people just drop their names in the can. A five minute. True story on stage and it's just basically what you been doing just telling these little stories about things that happen. It's just building a community and. Actually, this is interesting because it love how things can go full circle, even if you don't plan it, but, like what we were saying about how people don't really share those stories at home and. How I feel like it would be better if people share more stories because then we would connect than we would know what other people are going through. Well that's what we're doing now. You know telling. It has it's got a really big following up here for sure. And it spreading around this kind of storytelling show. Us and some friends, and they'd come in and take turns telling stories. We're bringing it back for one night for comedy festival will that's happening up here. We were invited to resurrect. Tell it because we did it every month for five years. And when is that, that is timber nine is this Saturday night? Is it gonna be recorded or podcast it or anything like that? Yeah. We're actually went to put a face look notice. I'm like we need some photographers and we wanna get. Or two. We never did a podcast. I always. Until I have just tons and tons of audio of our shows that I meant to put into a podcast. Yeah. I would help you out with all of that, even this Saturday if I could fly there, but, you know, I'm, I'm sorry. Wow. Yeah. Come on just jump on a by. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll just I'll say that I'm running away from Irma. Evacuating evacuating. Well, we don't know yet. I mean, the projections are all over the place. So as we get closer to the weekend, you just never know about these things. I fled. Hindu or something when I was living in Tallahassee. Chance that we're going to get hit by one. And I was just like I am out of here. I filled up the tub left a note for my roommates was like. Yeah. They've, they've told the residents of Miami Dade County to evacuate. But the problem is, they don't know exactly where to evacuate to. And of course everybody down in the keys there. Like get the fuck out now. So. And that's understandable, because there's only a single how way to get from the keys to Florida. Yeah. So our pool and move. Yeah. Yeah. Now one hundred eighty five mile an hour sustained winds. It's, it's gonna be rough. So is, you know, people listening to this three or four months. Yeah. Listen to this three or four months down the road. Maybe we're still alive. We'll see. Oh, so what are you doing now? I tried to again. I told you I'm not a professional interview. I just like having conversation. So that's why I ask a lot of questions that, you know, professional interviewer to have already have down, what she does this, and she works here, and blah, blah, blah. No, you tell me what are you doing now? Well, I do some freelance variety. And I also work at a bar, a bartender. I do a lot of producing shows like when people ask what you do. I think for money. Right. So barton. Most money, bartending. Most of my interest is in producing storytelling shows in doing my own shows, and I've also just started. I did a solo show. About my mom's death in. Like the last three weeks, her life, I spent infant show her house, all she was on hospice. And so I wrote a seller show about that experience in about our relationship through my writing, because she encouraged me to be a writer. And then as soon as I started writing was like, oh, wait, wait, don't you. I want you to write to write what I want you to write, you know. This struggle that we had throughout our lives. So do you hope to parlay that over to a fulltime career? I would love that. I would love a book deal. I was love to be able to just focus on writing and performing. And. Cut some stuff out there, and I get on podcast and. And New York City on a regular basis. So that's thing. Have you ever thought about publishing through Amazon? I've got two books published a published through Amazon, and I mean yeah, I'm rolling in the dough baby. No. Right. I've looked at that, but I would really I would like to be picked up by Random House. We'll think of. Think of this understand understand that. But I've, I've seen a lot of writers who actually started out doing the self publishing route and again couple of books out because honestly, and I'm not an authority on this because if I were, then I would be making a hell of a lot more money in writing books. But what I've seen is usually after about if you've got any talent, and I think you do. After about the third book. That's when people discover you on Amazon, and then around about the fourth of fifth is when there's the potential, I mean you either submit it to publishing company, or somebody scouting, and they find it, and they're like, oh, we'll let us do a publishing deal for you. And of course, you always have to be careful that they're not gonna fuck you with the day, you always want to retain all of your rights. But that's what I say, give it a go if you if you think seriously about it and. And I'll be willing to help you with any of the formatting and stuff to get it in the proper format to actually get it published not, I don't think you need the help because e I mean, it's even easier now than it was when I published my stuff back in two thousand twelve but I'm always willing to help in that, that respect. So if you everything that you want to do that. I encourage you to give that a shot. I mean your it costs you nothing. But time if you're already gonna write these things in right? You know, have someone edited for you don't edit your own books, that is terrible idea. Because you, you're you got blinders on when you're trying to edit at your own stuff. I mean you can do the first pass at it, but always get another Ed Lee at it, my stuff now, a lot of people say pay an editor. Okay. Well, if you got kind of money, but, but I let I let her do mine because she had a kind of a, an aside, outside of the content perspective, and she could pick up on things. That didn't make sense and stuff like that. So, I would definitely encourage you to give that a shot to get to get it out there and just let that be like a building block. I mean with the goal of hoping to get picked up by publishing house and you know, be the next Rick, Richard castle. Oh, yeah. I'll be more of a David sedaris. Great. Yeah. I'm a great idea. It's but, you know, it's also taking that script for my seller show in finally, put my butt in the chair, getting from the computer make half. I know the feeling I've got story days out the Oiseaux, but as soon as I'm like I need to sit down and work on these things, and what I run into, and I don't, I don't know if you run into this, or, or if you do how you overcome it, but I have. Some of the stories I work on now I've got about three or four chapters in, and I just a lose the zeal of what it is that I'm writing now granted months fiction for the most part, now, the book that I'm not list fifty and furious wading through HALE is actually. Telling a fictional tale of what happened when I got fired in two thousand and twelve so, you know, all all the names are changed its embellished a little bit. But it's, it's, it's written from the perspective of the. The Christmas time where the ghost of Christmas come and visit and so the central character in this story is thinking about committing suicide for the benefit of being able to provide for his family because the life insurance would pay off because it would instate a Georgia after you've had policy for two years. And it may be like this, and other states. But after two years, and plus my particular life insurance also had a rider on it that in the event of suicide it paid off to the beneficiaries. Yeah. So that was the impetus for the book because I actually contemplated suicide after everything that happened in two thousand twelve. Because of the fact that I, I knew that the family would be taken care of. But I work through it by writing that book and. Yeah. That, that speaks to so many things like. Storytelling just get your story through helped you work through it. They're politically right. Also. Like I mentioned earlier, like, I don't know if you were impacted the same, I was there were so many kids who committed suicide when we were in high school in right after. But then, like the last time I went home, one of our friends had just killed himself. And I wonder. Will he was Mosa but you know that? That you could do that. That's an option like well I could solve this problem. If I just kill myself. That is some serious. That's heavy. It is it really is. And what goes at least for me, what goes through the mind is, you do think about the potential loss that your family's going to feel and you, you're thinking, okay, this is the coward's way out. You know, you're, you're solving European but you creating even more for them, but then there's the other side of it, it's like, yeah, but financially, they're going to be taken care of 'cause I mean, I don't have a multi-million dollar life in life insurance policy. But it's big enough that it would pay off everything. And then they could just live on part time, jobs, or whatever they needed to do. And so that was my rationale because after investing thirteen years of, of my life into something that I thought that I was going to be there until the very end and be able to retire. And because I was going to get double retire. Hey. Well, I was going to get triple retirement. Now, I think about it, I was going to get so security. I was gonna get retirement from the city Tiffen, and then I was going to get my 4._0._1._K that went, I left had already had amassed in thousand dollars, and that was only there for three years after the company sell, but those are the things that go through your head, and then I poured all of that into that story. And once I got finished with it. I did I felt so much better. I mean, the thought wasn't completely Radic aided, but it was one of those that every once in a while, you'd feel that little twinge and it'd be like you dumb ass. You're not going to do that. That's just that's not the way to do it. Because you got all that pain and suffering the good majority of an out onto the paper. And with my wife being the editor of the book, she saw what I was going through. And of course, he was the first one to say you even think about attempting and I'm gonna kick you straighten a balls. And I might yes. Sipa. Honey? I'm only trying to look out. She's like fuck you. Yeah. That is not looking out for us that is create any, you know, you've lost a father, you know how intense losing a parent is Jesus. That's your mind is. Living in Tiffen. I would only tell to my parents, maybe once every two or three weeks and. It was a Thursday. And I got to thinking about my dad, and I was like, you know I hadn't talked to them about two weeks. Need to call him to see is doing so I call. And I get my mom. In a Mike. What's going on? She's loading, my dad up in the damn ambulance, at that point. And I'm like what's going on? And she, she tells me that he's not making sense. He's out of his head and all this other kind of stuff. And in this is I'm kind of ashamed of myself, and these are things that I'm trying to work through to, I hate hospitals. And I knew there was really nothing I could do by being in the hospital. So I told her, I said, you let me know what's going on? Because I was still at work. And so I got home and I got on the phone with her, and she was let me know the things that they were going to do. Well, she calls me around. Actually, I think it was my cousin Greg's mom that called me around twelve or twelve thirty, so you need to get up here. And I'm like, okay, so I got up there and. I was probably there about six or six thirty and they had operated on dad, and what it was is his lower intestines, had atrophied in died. Oh, wow. Yeah. And, and he was hard headed he'd been suffering, wouldn't go to the doctor kept putting it off and he went septic and I got in there too late. And so I went from not having talked to my dad in, in about two to three weeks to the day that I wanted to talk to him. I never get talked to him again because the next time I saw him is when moment mom now were pulling his life support off of him. And that was it. And I was like, you know, fuck. Yeah. So. You didn't know this podcast with go Saddam. This j m. Oh, alternately this, this comes down to, you know, tell the people that you love that, you love them every chance that you get and. And do things that scare you. I mean, would you agree? Absolutely no question. What? Susan, this has been fun and enjoyed this. It's nice reconnecting with you, too. Yeah. Yeah. I know dropped you off a Facebook sometime ago. And then reconnected and I was like, damn it wanted to do this. To be perfectly. Honest, like I explained to you, I would get into one of my little drunken rages where everybody pissed me off and not that you did. I'm just certain that you got caught in the crossfire where I just went through and, and went click, click, click, click click and just defended a whole shit, ton of people. Very possible at this you off. I do that a lot. I don't know you and I have very, very similar ideologies. I think I think that's a, so it's it'd be very, very difficult for you to. Piss me off. But. I tell you what I would like to throw an offer out to you, if you ever think that you would like to co host this show with me on occasion, just to talk about the issues or what have you. You have an open invite great. Yeah, this is. I love this. So talking about. With somebody who understands it, but also has, you know. Open perspective, about sure. Yeah. See, that's what I've been looking forward to. I don't necessarily want someone who's a yes. Person that always agrees but someone who has very similar ideologies. But maybe our nuance to little bit different. And. And what have you because we didn't even get into the discussion about the whole statue the confederate statue thing here. So other than. Touchstone. Your article are your your, your posts that you did on Facebook, which that's going to be in the show notes for anybody to go and raid, and I would recommend that, that people do go read that because his public ride, anybody can read it. Yeah. Make sure that, that set like that. But I think I tend to leave all my stuff very public. I loved air sincerity laundry thing I mean, I'm, I'm very hesitant. I try, I don't like to guard myself around here, but, but being a independent business owner and having to try not to piss off potential clientele or current clientele. Because I happen to say, yes, I think all of the confederate statues need to be moved to a museum. I don't agree that the need to be destroyed the need to be moved to a museum, so that our kids won't leave lose touch with the history, but we don't need to out allies these assholes and suddenly, you realize where you are. And people look at you like. You're one of them down. Commie bastards aren't you know? No, I'm not. But so I have to tread carefully. Sometimes about the things that I understand. Yeah, for sure. Sure, I know I've been, I'm like, did I say something? I wanna get. Here. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna get to point where I don't have to worry about it, and that's either going to be where I'm doing something that brings in shit ton of money or a win the lottery. The lottery is what I call fuck you money. You know, it's like, I got the money fuck you. I don't care, right? So. Anything else you wanna you wanna mention you wanna pimp out, etc. Cetera. You know. No. Are you still writing? I noticed the last post on your blog is, April, are you are you doing anything that or it makes me want to start writing more like putting that postal on Facebook? That was so specific to fits shout end making it public to people in fit show where, you know, like I've had strangers. I don't know reaching out to me to talk about. Encourages me to do more of it. I think we need more of it. I think we the thing that I've been curious about. And again, like I said, I've been very hesitant is do, we have more people down here that are like us than not? And are we doing a disservice by being quiet? Should we should we take that, that stance that we take that, that step to reach out and go? Hey look you know I'm wearing the armor. I know I'm probably going to get some shit, but are there other people out there like us? And if so, here, we're your tribe, come on. Yeah. I thought about that a lot too with do know. Trae crowder. Yeah. The well read tour. Yeah. Those boy, I love them. I love them because there's so like they're genuine southern good ole boys, but who are intelligent, and who are open minded, and who are having this conversation and or selling out. Like selling out shows over the country now. And they represent us. Just as much old white guys who are running. When I saw the whatever that, that one original video that kind of went viral on Facebook that he did. And I saw that liberal redneck. And I got tickled like dude, you ate the original liberal redneck, but I love the fact that you're doing this, because there are a lot more of a quote unquote, rednecks, that are liberal than than people might think. Right. Right. And I think that, that's what's great about them is that they're like, no, we're here. And we have a lot of say, I think that maybe that will also you know, those kinds of things like us getting on this five cast and talking about this stuff is necessary and is gonna make changes. I hope so. I hope so. Because you know my youngest is twenty. And we raise them with a completely different set of, of ideas about the world. They, they don't see people of different skin colors different. They were not raised in a Christian environment. We, we gave them all the books and said, look, you read up on all this stuff and you make the decision on your own. And, and I feel like that's the way it should be. And another is going to be people that disagree. They're not on an you supposed to indoctrinate them in the true belief and all that not go on and on about that. But I'm gonna shut up right there. And I would do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, we'll definitely have it. We will definitely have it. I actually have another website called secular south dot com, where it's, it's kinda like a pulls in feeds from various secular in eighth east of websites and also have a service on it, that I run secular south radio where pull in secular Nathan podcast and just play them twenty four seven. Seth Andrews thinking atheist him it Meta's the friendly, Theus dogma debate all of those guys and I just did it. And part of the reason why I did it is a liked to listen to streaming audio when I'm cutting the grass, when I'm riding along more. And I wanted a place where I could just tune into a radio style string that had nothing but secular Nathan podcast, and I was like, I can't find one I created one so there you go. So, you know, wrapped up in, when I'm when I'm mowing the lawn. Itself Georgia, but. Okay. That's a liberal redneck, right there. There you go. There you go. Susan. It has been a pleasure. Thank you so much for green to sit down and have a chat with me. We'll definitely do it again. And like I said that invitation anytime you want to co host. The door is open. Just let me know. And I hope you have a fantastic day. Thank you. You too. This is awesome and create it take care. I want to again thank Susan for taking time out of her schedule to chat in reminisce after token with her. I feel so sheltered so many of our classmates, just couldn't wait to quote, get out of this town. But yet they came back. I never left except well kinda relocated about forty miles away, but Susan did in a big fucking way. Check out the show notes for her blog the Facebook post we discussed and the moth podcast episode that we also talked about, as I said during the interview with Susan if we'll just start communicating with each other we can probably solve a lot of our problems. So I hope you've enjoyed this episode. I know I did a love talking with Susan and lack pointed out to her interview. The door is always open for her to come back and sit in and co host this show with me. I love to, to hear her perspectives on things. So I'm looking forward to that in the future. But in the meantime, I'm gonna take my leave of you. All a hope you're having a great day up. You have a fantastic weekend. Hug your loved ones. And if you're down in the Florida area or even in South Georgia as Armagh is we just don't know what's happening as of the time of this recording. My thoughts, would you be prepared? Get the hell out of dodge. If it looks like you need to get the hell out of dodge, hopefully will all still be around next Thursday. When we have another episode of Don talk. Everybody take care. The Starlight lounge presents an evening progressive. Yeah. Let's go tickling the ivories. He just saved by bundling home and auto progressive gonna finally, for that gal of yours. Ugo send condolences. This. Nice. There's. In my. Thank you. Insurance company discounts on of states or situations. Right. It's Jamie, progressive's number one number two employee. Leave a message at the hey Jamie. It's me, Jamie. This is your daily pep talk. I know it's been rough going ever since people found out about your Capella group, mad harmony, but you will bounce back. 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