Summer House: Twentysomething Year Old Virgin Episode

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Watch. What happens would like to think it's premium sponsors the bay area benches jazz begging the slayer Taylor Herron mcnicoll is she don't miss. No trick lists. Hot dang. It's Jessica day. Lisa wallin's. Now. That's what I call Watling team mint off Nikila Weber Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good, Ashley Savona. She don't take. No bologna, ain't nothing like Alison king, Megan bird. You can't have a burger without the bird just saying. Okay. Wristy wired. Dougherty Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow, we go. Hi, lo a Homer with Jeffrey Boehm or Hannah God I love that banana Anderson and are super premium patriots subscribers Meena coochie coochie COO. Gee, let's get racy with miss Stacy Shelvin out of a cannon Anthony incredible edible Matthews. Sisters Lulu Simon soon studio, give them hell miss Noel, Kelli grant, the grant master. We love you guys. Babbitt? Hello. And welcome to watch where podcasts about all. That crap. We live to talk about on Yale Brown's, I'm Ronnie Ronnie care here. I am with peon. Then man, the B side blog and real housewares of kitchen island on YouTube holidaying. Hi, what's up? Well, I'll tell you. What's up I'm excited because we are one week away from our Portland show so excited going Portland such a lovely beautiful city. So we're hoping to see a bunch of guys there. We've already sold like a few hundred tickets. So make sure you got yours because we want to have a big fund crowded house because we're gonna be talking about real housewives of New York and Portland and the very next night. We're going to be in Phoenix. And we're gonna be talking about summer house. Anyone who is at our summer house show in Cincinnati. I think some people like summer house really it was so much fun. Wow. This show to talk about it's a fun lot. It's also a really fun live show. Like that crowd at Cincinnati. Like, we were all just like dying together laughing. It was it was so fun. So even if you're not current on summer house, just watch the past few episodes, you'll be fine. We're going to have an amazing time. Please trust us on this one. Tell your friends if you're worried about going solo don't worry about it. You're gonna make France we say this every so and that's always true. So watch crap it's come for that. And on top of that. In addition to tickets, we also have unbel-. T shirts for another couple of weeks. So for all that also patriots to Google hangouts? We have new ringers up. So there's a lot of good stuff over there. It's where you get our bonus episodes this week was a car trip field trip. We took to Glendale and next week probably be southern charm breakdown. I would imagine you're all that stuff. There's good stuff. Go over to watch. A governor patriot dot com slash watch crap and you can find ticket links patriot links all of our league store links everything it watch crap dot com. So just go check that out. Yes. Gents y'all. Let's let's talk some summer house. Jets running. I spent like this entire episode cracking up. Everything was making me laugh, I did too. And I made a promise to myself. I wasn't gonna keep pressing stop to take notes because some house let me seriously like I pressed up on like, why did I write that down saying this time, I just kept writing impress positing two times because I had to you know, to get stuff in there. Sometimes my notes are going to be crazy today. Okay. It's neat thing. I'm trying for summer house. Well, guess what? I press. Pause a whole bunch of time. So I have very specific notes. Don't you worry when things get crazy? Don't you? I will right the ship. Okay. So we go back to where we were last week where they're having girls may and dense. Jim STAN Broberg Q back at the house chance for the Janssen the boys. Some pros y'all doesn't Broza. Unlike a good Jordan's phone. So while they're being gents over in the house. The girls are over at maze on Vivianne who that restaurant. I had a real issue with last last week because they had extremely overpriced salads ridden. Zappa chance response. Cannot charge that much and then have it in. That font face. I'm sorry. So Lindsay is there, and she's all the girls were there Lindsay is telling Danielle Jordan said to all the girls last week when Danielle left the beach early to take the triumph back home because she's like a presentation and Jordan was like. Yeah. While I'm into page right now because pages years so Lindsey, basically tells Danielle that Danielle's like what did he say word for word that you're like grails like an old enchilada, and he's part. Thanks Lindsay feels great. Yeah. Daniels trying to be like all angry. She's like I like, Jordan. And he seems like she seems to like me. So how could you say that in front of my girlfriends am I right looking for the new Danielle summer house season three another one of these girls rinks now and just cut the page Scipio Cosmo like, oh my God. Just get me out of here right now. I write on my these people are so annoying. Even dreadful us over with the Jeb scars like Jordan. You gotta choice. You can have paid Danielle or the boys the boys. Yeah. You got the correct answer. At now, you were officially Gente like the retina. But guess what? Jordan. You're such a good. You would have been a Gente. Anyway, even if you had answered the correct Jen questioned jumps all over any something him. Can I say something to Kyle Kyle? I know this that Amanda wants you to be like more like well, man, the wow to mad. Wow. And kind of like, yeah, she wants me to be more romantic. Yeah. So what I'm saying? So you know, what I'm going to send I'm guessing Amanda bottle of champagne at the restaurant. So you're the king of send. I can't stand us send it business. I've like send it is like some phrase that like like straight millennials are saying, I guess, I don't know. It has somehow missed me. And I thought it was like a weird thing that happened last season. But it's like back and even worse because Kyle has like five different T shirts that have like send it in different patterns. And I'm like, I I'm not I will not take part miss. I'm not going to send it said. Like the sense of the hourglass these are the of our lives. Yeah. The best poured our calls that not only does he said it. He actually literally sends things. It's like amazing. Have you ever been into post office? They have an entire business based on sending it. Yeah. Sending it to the jets totally programming a new Email program that instead of saying sentences Carla. Yeah. He's like watching Carl nice things for Amanda. It makes me want to have a girlfriend. Things to listen, no girl is going to see a guy with iron on letters on a shirt and be like the guy that I want to raise children. I just wanted to nice things and have her put her weight on me. So they call up maize on Vivian Kyle does and he's like odd like to send a Bala champagne over to my girlfriend, all so sorry. But the only champagne we have is a two thousand nine for six hundred dollars. I'm like, of course on Vivianne. You're lying right now. We know you're lying. I don't trust you stupid restaurant. You're overprice. Got bad font committing champagne fraud. These are lies. These are lies no-one go to Maison Vivian and also guys they met champagne, you can still send over a lovely bottle of sparkling rose as champagne or sparkling, psycho or Rosa. I mean, come on shut up maize on Vivian like, I think that that's bullshit. They are extorting Kyle right now they are. But he deserves it because he cheated five years ago so house like all right here. Take down this card. Here's what I wanted to say farted on your pillow. Sorry starts off with babe. Don't forget that that's central any romantic note, babe. Your pillow smells like far. Sorry, also can't wait to move in with you. All lab fire. But yeah, yeah. That was great great great note grano, so well, they're stopping five the women are at Maison Vivian, and they're like cheers to being females and. Here cares to not needing guys. But kind of wanting them anyway. The bottle comes over at a man, it's the bottle for Amanda. And is like okay on it says being miss you love you. And I can't wait to move into you. Stupid maize on Vivianne missed out like wrote it down wrong super v six hundred dollar bottle of wine and the can't even get them it, right? So the girls are all making fun of like. Like, oh my God. He just wants to fuck basis. If I'm in year three and my boyfriend has to send me a six hundred dollar bottle of wine to sleep with him. Actually, I'm doing something. Right. So. Amari board of this champagne, so what what do you think? The boys are doing probably have crossword puzzle which is funny because I was like semi doing crossword puzzle and be like. At what point did they ever think? These guys would ever be doing crossword puzzles. No, they're they're home skating skating the line between game straight. It's funny. So bill. Hey, bill. Let's let's look at each other's apps. Levine look at my. Yeah. Look at your finance for the ads together, we'll shots down. And then if we finish them we'll do the shots. This is. But I always do when I get halfway through the people magazine crossword totally stumped. Yeah. Let's make a bro ham sandwich. Pushups jello shots. Yeah. We're gonna send it we're going to send it to the floor and back up again because shop got so then we transitioned to later in the night where everyone's coming home and the song is. And the best part about summer houses that they have no budget. So they have to use the same tricks Monica songs over and over again. So we start to get I don't I don't think I'd I don't I did not recognize that one. But the other songs later in the episode. I was like I remember this jam from last week. Like, I'm starting to like, no the no the library. These songs are not made to be used more than they're like condoms. Okay. Terribly and get rid of them. So the girls are back Danielle is like drunken pits from everything. And then Amanda goes to Kyle and Kyle things from them. No. That was really nice and they're like being cutesy in the foyer while they're like talking. I don't know if you noticed as Ronnie, but pay just comes clopping Bashi. I put page clumps past. Com- com- com- com-. I really don't care about your moment. I need to get someone in these clogs. And 'cause like the one. Yeah, that's not count. So Lindsay lengthy all we mean on get logged mainly. Let's wait my I'm still trying to make late night of our. This blow up toy because they haven't hot tab keeps hitting Lindsay in her eye and she's like. Ten yoga's. That's how I feel about Jordan. Only. I I said it barely make sense in the makes all the sense in the world. It's such a damn yelping to say. Yeah. So now, it's the next morning, and they going to go miniature golfing Kyle range this because he's like a little known fact MandA was a golfer gonna go golfing, which then never comes up again ever. So it's fine. Yeah. Amandus know Hannah. That's for sure yet. So hand. Jenness. So speaking of Hannah, she goes and tells Jordan like, oh, by the way, we hold hold Dan yell what you said about page and her like behind our backs. So, you know, have fun with that. I and he's like I have to have a conversation. So he's like for them to tell her what I said, it's bullshit. Dumber. K then you'll still on the radar about there's other girls in the happenings. Oh, you're so fake ads. I know and like for him to be mad. He's like for the girls. Go behind my back like like. For him to say that when he was the one going behind pages back and showing the quote unquote texts that he had from her to the to the broS like shut up, Jordan. Honestly, you really need to shut up. So he goes up to Daniel. He's like you guys excited about Pat. She's like, no Athol. Tough crowd tough crowd. So then, of course, they go to the metric place, and everyone knows that Jordan was being addicted in yell, and so what happens they put Jordan Daniel little miniature golf team. I know you can be summer house all you want. But you're on Bravo. You're still a housewife so okay and Danielle plays miniature golf exactly the way you'd expect. She likes the ball goes into like a water feature. Danielle. So Jordan is like can I talk to you? He's gonna pull the typical man thing where he turns it around on her. Yeah. So yeah, you can yell at him. He's like, I just don't want you to feel I'm leading you on. I just want to set some boundaries because you asked to walk me, you asked me to walk you out from that Bod fire, and it made me feel like you were way more into me than I am into you and your moving way more quickly than I want. Yeah. Your total CBS are really going beyond the initial pay Shropshire that we have for this relationship. And I just think that like when you take like fewer impressions and more a high volume high quality baked in moments like if you're going to expect this much I'm gonna need to charge you for a pop up ad base. That's what I'm saying. She's like all I did was ask you to walk me out of the beach. He's like, yeah. I'm so sorry lead you on that way, you know, leading you on. She's like to me, you're acting a certain way. And then you tell everyone else different things about me. Just don't do that. I work hard. All we. I'm not holding onto a grudge. I mean Jordan's dick. But he still hot still fucking. I'm over that egg. I think that you're trying to be like whatever he's a dick. But I'm horny looks good. So I'm going to try to get this. But that ICs stop it is that so leave golfing because it's like lasts all of two minutes on screen and some of the some of them like stop by this strange and cheek place that light with one of those anti places that you drive by your like whoever buys stuff from a place like that. And then you find it. It's like these people do they get like he's weird ceramic or porcelain sculpture, kitschy things. Monkey drinking. We got zebra. Probably paid like two thousand dollars for all that stuff too. Which is the sad part. Get home and Lindsey, and then yell, of course, like dancing around doing their look. Dan. It's like you guys are not getting D stop doing that dances. Getting sad part. Is that like it seemed like there were actually dancing to an actual tricks in Monaco song like they were singing along the lyrics did the producers tell them. Okay. We can't play music right now because it messes up our audio. But here the lyrics that we want you to dance long to you. Just sing them doing there were singing along with the song. Live. Live your laugh. Your talk side, if the first time that Trixie Monaco has ever been passed off truly as the actual music that's being played. Actually, I shouldn't say that they always try to do that. But this is the first time they made an effort to really try to integrate Trixie monocle into the show, Trixie is getting her own role. Finally. Yeah. So now, it's like dinner time and Carl's like yacht page. Let me get the door for you. And she's like, thanks Carl. Her do really like it about school jen's at this. Just in from the news wire, I just wanna say you girls, look really hot. Seriously. You guys look really hot. You're welcome in advance. So when Kerr has Kyle Amanda page and Carl and Carl's like can I be for real jet girls? Caught Dorgan I know we're driving. Let me open the door for you just to pre footage fam- almost aren't. Dive it was worth it because I would die for beauty. Yeah. And cows like we're the hot car, and then it cuts to the other car with Hannah Jordan Lindsey, Danielle? And no one's talking. It's like the most awkward car ride ever. Yeah. Exactly. And so calls like everything Jordan says, I don't even know anymore. Like, you know, he was he was like, hey page. He was like saying like, oh, wow. Like, you guys were dating in Florida and stuff like that. Never been sexually attracted ever. I mean look at him. He looks like a greeting card. That's folded up. He puts a shoebox shoebox. Greetings, like, no. Grouse house big sticking point. Is he pulled up a screen shot countless so mad about the screen shot? Yeah. And tells us I take my reputation very seriously. And I'm not letting you speak on my behalf and save we were talking you'd be lucky if we were talking here. So the the restaurant and they're looking at the menu and like has anyone eating here before and crawling? All ya just as one time to see bask-. Yeah. Yeah. The Genta the ocean sea bass, I love when people go get some talks or go, do whatever to make themselves feel better. I say make yourself feel better. So I'm not judging this because of that, but Lindsay's like that girl who gets a new toy. And she cannot put the toy away. It's like you don't need to bring your American girls all to the table. You know what I mean? It's still an American Girl doll leave it in your room. And I feel that way about her boobs. Like, I get it. You got like do I need to eat lunch with your boobs. Like everyone else doesn't have. They're saying, of course, at you're right, but for Christ's sake put those things away. Boobs shaming her. I would rather shame for the little ruffles that she has on address at all. Chose little always like luck. Like, great congratulates and stop bragging about your babes. Him away for Christ sake of trying to eat lunch. Well, I'm going to let that I'll just you know. You know, I don't need your agreement migrants. Listen, I'm like, I said before the thing that bothers me the most that I feel like I see a lot on Lindsey our little frilly like flaps of of cloth the works twins. I said this on another episode the works twins who I really enjoyed. They introduced the concept of like flappy floppy edges on their clothing. And like I feel like Lindsey is continuing to carry the torch for flappy edges in their memory. And I'm like, you know, what I love the works twins. But it's time to move forward. Let's get rid of the flappy edges. Done with the clan. Ruffles. Yeah. No more rebels so lens on the way. I'm sorry. We're not moving on yet. Oh, I have to read you something just aren't on the internet. Yes. Floppy sleep boobs. Just giving says well agreements is a word. It has been used since the nineteenth century whereas agreement is both correct and common but to go with agreement. This is a part of a complete episode agreement is a word that seems to be continually reinvented recycled the first term the first the term first appeared in the sixteenth century and lasted until the nineteenth century. So there you go everybody that was bags Lord New York episode. We we we I are Koreans, Dan. And I talked about how annoyed I was Fred. Durst said a green there was a big moment when Fred Durst degrees on an award show. And then it became a thing. And I was I was saying no aid that people say Reince when they really saying agreement saying, okay, language, k yeah. Yeah. Welcome to English class. It continues this week on watch crap ins anyway, Lindsay's leg Espresso, Espresso Martinez for everyone. Cheers to drama free dinner and single Lindsey. And if anyone says the word I'm going to throw this drink in your face right now. So happy. And Jordan goes where some lucky guys you get to spend a summer with you, ladies and pages. Your right? You should the screen shot of my tax. And he looks at Kyle and college this rugs while he drinks his. To TV sucker. Yeah. She's I wasn't the case. So Jordan's like the fact that you say that you're not sorting with me and makes me look like dirt bag, and like you were totally flirting with me. And that you just the he's like he's like piling at like a piece of cauliflower and just like rolling it around his plate. I'm like that is the sign of a guilty person pushing your colleague floor around. Yes. And just like it pisses me off. Okay. If you come for me it is game over right? You can't go to a group and tell them that you're going to hook up all summer and not tell the girl involved. Okay. You can't say you're not flirting with me when I've text of you for being with me, if that was not learning I will show, you planning. Her phone. Which point Carla's leg pages? Exactly. My Schorr dark and angry at someone. That's not me. Yeah. I wanna do. Nice things for. Amendment. I collected letters. I just have to peel them off my last two short, and rearrange them sort of like a movie marquee God. I'm like a movie at Jordan. I don't think you are being malicious. But you can't go round doing things like that two girls. Like, I'm not going grant doing anything and that was pre getting turned down for a spray tan of. Okay. So this is before like this is way way way way long time ago that you ask greenside meth way screams side of brought it up now loser. And act like she's been flirting with you all this time it meanwhile, carts like sergeants, but page, I I just want you to know I'm going to cut some pieces of your say 'cause I'm a real gentleman. Nice things girls, awhile girlfriend and evolved. This news day in my life and also have a quota having to cut four pieces of state by the end of the week. So here we go only cut three shoot and Hannah's. Like, oh, my God corals, cutting your meat for you. That is the sweetest thing ever. I mean the last time I got a slice earned it on my own in two. It was the outback tournament of young champions. And I won that shit. I was. I'm smaller pieces Carl. I'm not a caveman like you call so. Only wanna talk out signed, please. Carl carlin's go outside. Meanwhile, I mean what pages than maj? I didn't get to have any stake. Because I was yelling at you, Jordan. Oh, which is something totally say to someone so outside Carl's like, oh, finally, we're not in the middle. And they're like trying to figure out how to high five each other. But never quite get there. And. You're gonna page now or a real there's like a different shift like where am and live like out won't be fuck boy anymore. Like your. The old school. Thank dave. In like, I don't wanna be fucked. Boy, I just want to be just like a good little boy that you may talk every, you know, so like all my friends are married and all the homes, and they all have like little mini dishes for their babies. I loved his like foam over having many baby dishes, which I don't think is the thing. But I still like that he had foam for it. Like this this year. I learned what a sippy Cup is. And like melted, my heart. So like, why don't we have cops? Like let like I'm allowed to spill myself, but baby is not like whereas my production from my own drink. I'm. Year one Ely in your life or the next year. And all you myself with a girlfriend flush becomes the wife at some point job. That makes me feel good. Because like this was like crushing me we fucking a lot of chicks getting now. I see myself surrounded by cereal, and grains, and all vinegars, and I'm like making page. No, call no get out of the pantry again. Sorry. And then of course, this is this anything that girl says has everything to do with plenty. Rain's going for sure. Mike is like the war. I'm not gonna marry her. Just not about you. This is civically Carl's visualization stop putting evident his mind up like forcing every onto a dream onto a vision board. Keep Evert on your own weird. Visit board Carl I want you to close your eyes and tell me where you see you and Everett in two years. All right. I want you live here at my wedding. Where you hang. I wonder whatever its vision board would be like. It's five years now. Walking through chug it and all can think about moving targets used to face down. Get some Todd, and I get some method. I think what is that? I have no miss it. The only method I have is the method of me getting laid likely for you push that through and suddenly there's mixed emotion behind me. Flat through the flat through the pink air about grab that on bring it down to me. Sorry did person she left. I'm gonna put a ring on that finger. Brad is soldier that ever soldiered through the method. And then Simone tasked me on the shoulder is just stand up that arm. You're holding isn't an arm. It's just a can of Pringles turns out over reacted happens. Sometimes thing Driss talk. I find myself hiding under the prescription desk. Suddenly I asked what's that taste in my mouth? That's not a Pringles realize Pringles this come out with flavor tastes like pecan pie. I think what the fuck is this. But anyway. And then then CNN the distance that I grabbed grenade. Pull the string and throw. It turns out just a golden bond, apple from them decor. But it worked anywhere worked. Anyway. I've always wanted one of those pillow chairs on the floor down. I've got one full this moment. Maybe this moment would ask for. That was great vision ever at the house, really great. Carl actually, so it's time for commercial. It's full of crap in show. So now. Happened here. I think we have a new song. Them again with the band. Because to Hannah going. This old athlete has to rest those bones. So then the kitchen late in my pages wasted patron Karl drunk, and she's I like core pizza and he's like, oh me too marriage material. And so you think pays commute to the squad because we just love pizzas. So given here young lady, and then she's like Carl I really Slade tonight. He's like y'all page your hotter. When you're mad which says a lot because you're already pretty hot as previously established in the car when I told you so he turned on Carl. I don't know if it's me or this boxer captain crunch. But I am hard. It's. Doc. So then they set the door to the pantry and they just start making out. And then the time clock. The, you know, the little time thing is at the bottom. It's like. Eight minutes. Eleven minutes. The clock is going under water they charge and he's all our. So meanwhile, up in her room, we see Lindsay and she's in bed. It's like night vision. And they've moved this light giant zebra next to her bed. So it's like it's head is over her bed like staring at her, and I just kept on thinking the poor person. Who was who was put into that zebra because someone was like a curse. And so it was like, oh, you have done wrong to my family, and they've transformed person too like ceramic zebra, and they are now stuck staring at Lindsey embed. Please save me from this curse right now. Please I'm not watching the saddest existence. I could ever imagine. Please get me out of here so bad and she faced Everett and she's like. I want to go to bed. Then it goes. She's like Goblets is. Oh, like e LA very visit. And you know, my Emma, I'm lying now. Not good for me. That she call him. I call him on FaceTime. I don't even know. I don't even know I had like the worst conversation ever. What was your God? Dead. So now, we have now is tricky monocle song. I wrote down the it's the Nana. Oh song which I remember when it came on. I was like oh my God. I had loved the song. It's like it's like, no, no, no, no. I don't remember how it goes now. But just when on alot was really good. Really good stuff. John. The closet giant. So Kyle's like this week. We're of Bishop starting our apartment hot I feel so confidence. And then we see them cleaning the kitchen Mandeville wearing a tag on bra, by the way. Amanda. She's gonna Renton apartment. She can't just be paying for bras. That's true. So so they're downstairs in the kitchen and crawls. Janssen's gentler ladies page made last night so star Jordan. I'm just a little bit slicker. I'm right to add making out in pantries to my list about you know, what there's no strings attached. I'm telling you that right now. And it was like, well, technically, I have string attached to me right now. So poor. Daniel has Earl the girl drunk monkey or at the drunk girl. Monkey or whatever Earl the girl Detroit funky in her room. God even her animal sad. Oh, yeah. That monkey that was during the. Yeah. That'd be terrified. I don't like any of this. So then it's Monday and wearing this. And you know, because the song is keep dreaming. Jeff that city montage moment that we always get where it's like Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday, so Kyle and Amanda looking at apartments, and then we see page on the street is like doing like an story or something. She's like, I'm I'm really on trend right now with white shoes. I'm only twenty five dollars. Also, Jordan sucks by everyone and Carl's at work, and he's like work work quota. Hey, guys mischief. I miss July. I'm gonna lose my job and I'm gonna networking event right now. So let me give you my card because guess what? No one's getting pussy. Yeah. If you're interested in e commerce, then let me just direct you to my car. And I just wanna tell everyone here in this room you really hot right now. And I'm just like so impressed seriously really hot really hot. Your average as in FOX. Oh my God. This is my favorite because Lindsey meets up with this woman named Anna Anna's like hi knew how summer going and he's like it's so busy, Anna. I'm like working on. I'm it's I'm working and so. All I with. Cocco contract mind is still dumbing down my mind. Three years later, still working on the tacos. So how's it living with Christina? And like, oh my God. I was this. Maybe so happy because we then we've first of all Anna is living with Christina Gibson. And then we got to get like a Christina Gibson update. Which was also included a flashback to Christina's big moment, which is like reporter, Christina Gibson reporting live as you stole that giant bottle of resume and everyone's her like. Favorite my favorite. Casino. Or are you a lot about that in the bathroom? Yeah. Like, not even tampon. Trying to warn you. We saw like another clip of like try to type on the on the couch, and then Lindsay's light brings all the entrance and was well come to hub house. Christina's contained rage was like my favorite thing season one. I swear to God. Well, now Anna's got her, but Emma doesn't shit talker. Which is my keeps drying she keeps trying and trying, but she won't do it. So she's like muggy. Oh, well, anyway airlines. And and I mean how lane. And and it's like, so we're still talking about Everett. Into have I'm harm. And then I hope I'm. I'm. And those that happen. Dan. I'm sorry. Just happens like persistent human being and I'm like single whims. And like all like which ally fourth which made me think of him because that's when it came back from Iraq. And then the other day it was like July seventh which reminded me of the time that like I went to Applebee's with him. And I was like delight eighth and remind me of the time we had sex everyone to applebees. So it's just like a lot Anna. Emma's like is it chemistry or is it really addiction of obsession K because what love means to me is someone consistent that you can trust that will be there for me, you know, and like warring. All here is is. I think that was a great choice. Lindsey. You did the right thing, and you guys will wind up together. Some so keep at it. More things d'oeuvres you giving me in my eyes. I'm all that you've ever my line. So now, we also now it's time to go back to the Hamptons, which means also get the return of that song where the big shots now with the big Schultz now, which is also one of my favorites of the summer house season. Three Thome look out. Room room. That term me. I'm not gonna lie and Carl's. I guess what giants are got summer Friday. Yeah. I just you know, I begged pleaded and was like I didn't hit my quota, but you can farm next month because all I want is some fraud. And so now, I got one and I just need a glass of wine. So we're in page Hanner the first to arrive that to take in the boxes. God how you have to grey hairs. Pages like kinds. I have a great outfit for tonight and Hannah's like that's prizes. No one. Slam. Game. Yeah. So everyone's saying Hello. And I took a Friday. Yeah. I took a summer for guys check it out got summer Friday day summer Friday. He's got new white pants with fucking Carl new white jeans. I'm like new ones Carl break these in in my new genes guys. Hey, let's all go out to dinner. Oh, wait Danielle's on the train all four. Dan, y'all is like she's always on like, she's always on the outside or transportation. She's like the wettest blanket ever be wet poor Danielle she's really trying to not be wet this time. But it's like, it's they're conspiring all ready to have fun. It's like, oh, guess what else on the train? That was Carl a few weeks ago. But for some reason, it's just sad when Danielle stuck on the train. So they're in the kitchen and Carl's like we need to Broza hit caught look at your shirt. Well, bro, you working out or what that's the hardest working button. I've ever seen on his shirt look at that thing struggling stay button and Jordan's like, wow. Did you do chest today or what bro? And actually it was back day. Oh, man. Learn. Now, I have a chest. I Dr and girls page on knocking ally. You look pretty good. He looks pretty good page you on a hit up that pantry over there that it was open. We can go in and sign. You wearing fingle. So then Danielle comfy God. Hi guy. Then t with the dis. Oh god. Only don't leave me. Jordan's like, hey, I'm just going to bring you bring your bags upstairs. I'm going to get back into your good graces and everything which is like, dude. Like don't talk about like not leading someone on. And then do something super chivalrous for someone like, I don't understand him at all. And then y'all still trying to pretend she doesn't care. She's like if he wants to get my bags to get on my good side. Then that's fine by me because I can already see his good side. It's walking away from me. Danielle's say his ass. She's trying to talk like a dude on the construction. She's Danielle sprang herself to sleep at night. And then Hannah, I guess they want handed to wear pages kitten heels or something like that. She was like I could barely walk in them. You know being tennis. I only wore sneakers. So this is crazy like this. What is this like that's like barely even keel kitten heels so like trying to walk steep advance. So then they Jordan still keeps trying to flirt with Danielle awkward is Danielle you change so fast and she has oppressed. And he's like extremely as co. Yeah. We're gonna last forever. Yeah. So they go after dinner at Mexican place and a waitress brings out some chips guac, which you know, Amanda was like, oh, I was gonna make walk. Campbell to really respect to ever made the squawk because it's not as easy. Pages. Like, I'm speaking about walk. I went on a date with Australian, and it was so good. We had a really nice time. Reverse gents like what? Then we get to see her on her date with this dorky AUSSIE guy. She's like, I don't even know how to play pool. I guessed it girl. The they almost go to in the Polk like we're talking about or Kingery Carl's like, oh, yeah. Well, has he texted you since I want to hear what he said. Well, he said I had so much fun with you last night classic copy, and paste whatever Mike Carl it's a pretty state like it is classic. That's classic for reason. Because it's like like a certain amount of like consideration in courtesy Carl post to say like, hey, love math. Got it sunny today. Okay. Have a good one. Late last night. And as morning. Well, I Karl goes. Yeah. That's great. Great tax. Does he go down under pages? Like carl. Just made a pretty super cool on. So he's like girls get jealous and guys just get tired of white jeans try and make more so stretch. So Hannah announces that she she got she she got laid last night and this morning because this guy that she's been like sort of sleeping with the past few months, but she's also seeing some other people so Carl ways, and he's like, I think that as a female. It's also like go girl. But for me, I get yelled at. But anyway point story is go girl, you go girl, girl Gogol. Asari lost right was and they'll go. Well, I don't even know it's like dating a whole other thing. You know, like if I'm dating someone like totally different, but I'm Russian Tali Noam. And then like, well, we started apartment hunting and everyone's like to go. The only thing I can say about as its governor. You're finding space because that became a problem with me and over because it was like using to me I'll want and our line. I just made space for you. And now you're gonna get mad at me. And I just want to reiterate that like I'm moved in with Everett. He used it against me. And this is an aspect of our relationship that I'm publicly declaring to the table. And therefore, you all know about it. And it is very clear everyone here on this table guy goes I wanna live with her I to live with her together. But I've seen it firsthand when it's not right. You know? I mean, you just complicate your break-up, and then Jordan goes. Yeah. Pointing case, by the way, pointing case that drove me nuts kids in point case, any points Lindsay because Lindsay just said, yeah. When I moved in with Everett like he would use that he would use that against me. So we so he says pointing case in Lindsay's like. How would you know, Jordan shut the fuck off? I'm just saying like what you just said there, and you don't know what my relationship. In curl, say even a God damn were. Carlos. There's two written rules in summer house. One men are always wrong to never say ever three closets. Living. Dale, not comment. Just like, you know, like everything was good with men have right until we moved into gather and Jordan's like, yeah. Like when you moved into the things went bad, right? Shut up. How do you know, you don't know how to add at all? So stupid. Let's just announce it to the table as an example. I mean, it was just referring back to your example, don't make stand up for Jordan. Please. So funding. So now, of course, that's over. So now, we get another party song rather backup a house. Oh, no. They're not back there. Another partying out in Montauk. Whatever and Jordan Danielle or making out. Yes. Getting camera because they're not allowed to have cameras anywhere. Yeah. So now, they're now they all come back to the house the girls call excited they come into. As like something's about to happen to thirty AM or whatever. So they're they're popsicles in the pan. Oh, yeah. Like Carl and page having popsicles in the pantry. Let's have some puzzles and pantry but guess what? Nothing happens this time because the cameras are following them in there this time he's cameras in the pantry gift lava can the pantry popsicles and hot dark girls who aren't mad at me to use that one. Have I already hit my quote of references to page. I can't tell so then it's just like Jordan, Danielle the only ones left in the kitchen and like like Jordan sitting on the counter and his legs are wrapped around in Yahoos facing away from him. So he goes twinning on him. Oh. With her. He goes Danielle come here. And so she turns around and leans in for now, not in the kitchen chicks like what is wrong with you and walk away. She's just she goes up to bed, and he stays in the kitchen just kind of staring at the island liquid going on here. But she leaves her door open, which is like her way of being like I'm going to bed, but you can follow me in here. If you want, and he doesn't he just sits down there. She's like you'll make me in public, but our our own kitchen. It's like no like, I'm really smart, but I can't figure this one out. He's like that. Yeah. Or just like move on to something else up your in barrister yourself stop. Yeah. What about that other guy who was willing July fourth party? Why don't you go down that path because he was much hotter? You have it. That was the thirsty mini Jax. That's fine. It's worth it. So now, it's two to thirteen AM and calls like in bed the mandate. He's like, I'm Ongeri. So he gets up. He goes down to the pantry and just like passes out of there. So this pantries getting a lot of action that's episode and Amanda wakes up state. On Sissy, go flicking for of course, he finds him in the pantry. She goes Kyle once I think he's moving forward and literally takes two cents back into the pantry. How did you even know to go directly to the pantry? That was weird. Like that made me feel like either they planned it or. He's done that before he wakes up and he'd benches in the middle of the night. He's like one of the raiders on YouTube. Yeah. So no the next day. And I was waking up and Carl's like mooring would and blue balls dues or forwards. I'd never thought. I'd be saying in the summer house or the words I never thought I'd be saying quota summer Friday can't tree and. Osteoperosis? I'm in crawling. Amanda, waking up and he's like God. I'm so hungry. I think it's just because I only chips yesterday. Slept in the pantry. There's also a discussion sartorial discussion about the afternoon trip tooth vineyard and Jordan's like can I wear a tank top the vineyard in Carl goes tank top two vineyard? No, no. Someone called the police because this guy opera handed he has a first class game of osteoporosis. Oh my God. I can't believe I actually just said it. So then Lindsey then yellow getting ready to go out for the bay. And of course, these making everything about her ten years like my distress is easy. I can drink in speaking of. Aware speaking of we made out last night and the kitchen he's like, no, let's he goes, I don't even know me. And you don't know anything about our relationships. Shut your mouth. Unlike oh, she really is still mad about this. I thought that was just like a drunken fight. But she she is not only mad, but like Daniels to share her experience last night and Lindsey just totally hijacks. It makes it about that stupid moment at the table. This classic Lindsey and going. Getting on. Yes. She leaves page downstairs. She's like we were picked thinking. So I wore a tablecloth some people should have asked for advice and it cuts to Lindsey. Blood red poppy colored prints boob. Dress and other disaster. Yeah. So loves those things so they all get on the party bus of the vineyard and hike Danielle says, the Jordan don't even think about sitting next to me, dick. And so they all get wasted on the party best in Carl's like understand of wants me to work on drinking at a party, a party bus means bardy. Ooh. Uh-huh. Send it so Hannah. Then is that her Grandpa's house turning ninety? And so everyone's there her grandma's there in his like readdress like a little black choker. She basically just this like, you know, self-proclaimed sell sex kitten. Yes, she's blanched evro truly. And then on the bass Lenzi's for the bus thing say Hanna Hanna goes to her dad, grandma Grandpa's like, hey, I've been spending time in the Hamptons. What do you think about the Hamptons? Like, I try to avoid it as much as I can. And then it was like a smash cut to the party bus where you hear them. I can understand this grandpa grab out very well. She's like fit Dumpty like the party. And he goes these days waking up every day is a party and the because of the. Like whipping out our boobs. Then it cuts back to Hannah. I'm talking to remand. She's all sexy. And she's like mine now is sexy like she still wears heels and bikinis and she loves her Instagram than we see her grandma's Instagram for posing all like sex kit me, you know, so funny, and she gets what's your beauty secret. What's your latest beauty secret grant nanna and having a good husband? It'll be sixty years next year. I haven't had another man since I was eighteen and we've fucked every single might well until lately mouth down to about three times a week. You go girl girl. So now, speaking of Sakti on the on the bus, they're all talking about when they lost virginity and Kyle loss of virginity sophomore year of high school and Jordan's like I have a crazy story about how I lost my ready, not rehearse at all. So I was like in college, and I was like on the top bunk with this girl, and she's like giving me head, and I thought and then she like stuck her tongue in my ass hall. And like, I didn't know what to do. I had this knee-jerk reactions. So I literally like kicked her in the face, and she fell off the bunk broker actual knows. And I had to take her to the hospital. That's what that's the word. Actual knows dome out. Also, how is it that if you're giving head to someone that like logistically, how do you go from giving someone had to them sticking tongue in that in an asshole has catch. You by surprise. They can't use sense that someone has like like gone around to the back or turned you over like and. I don't want explaining because it's gross. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Never mind. Oh. I was I was taking the wrong. But it's kind of like when you fly from like New York Asia, go over the polls. That's what's going on. Okay. I figured I'd talked through talk to educational episode. Everyone's like, and I didn't know what they were all mad about. Everyone's just staying silent. You know? And maybe it's because he's like laughing about breaking girls kicking off a bed. That's what I thought. But then Lindsay's like. I'm pretty sure I saw that in the movie, and it's called of forty year old virgin liar. Yeah. And also the like also they were having like she was giving him head after they heads X. So did he say it was after they had said he said they thought it was just on his bed getting head from girl or something they had sex. And then she was giving him head afterwards. God this confusing. So did that happen in the forty year old? Virgin exactly that story. What is wrong with this guy? I don't remember. I haven't seen that movie in a long time. But I'm assuming it's one of those flashbacks like his sexual experiences and how they went awry a loser. Like, no one else saw that movie dope. Yeah. No one believes in the vineyard pages. Like, I like to think if I love like, romantic comedy, and the vineyard itsel romantic. Carl's page about I pick you up. So we don't have to walk, and this even more romantic Arkansas, John new, and you can be like any number of actresses. Okay. And so he just starts carrying her around. All. And then there's like they just see them all like doing fun things. And there's a big sign that says do not feed anything to our horses and cut to a up. Feeding all desserts shit to pony. They had like a bottle of Rosaiah that had just been put down that Ponant throat. And pages. Like Carl torts trying to make out with me and talking to the guy. He's like guys like I'm warning and she's attractive, but I don't think she's enemy like last night. We're in the pantry gun and towards like, why do you keep going to the pantry goes? Oh, you thought if you took her to a familiar place, it's like this long time relationship like I took back to the Dinah the place where we I fell in love to go back to Niagara Falls to go back to the parents right next to the quick quick cooking, oats. Carl's like the chases haunt. I guess, but I do you live in the summer house with the guard like meat chasing you and you're not into that. How about it's? Because when you saw where you said, oh, my gentlemen, you need you need more letters iron on. Yeah. Exactly. So so then like Jordan's like standing with the guys and like page and Hannah, I think or at least pay page, I think is like standing nearby and joins like I'm Danielle again last night. He just says it, so it's like, okay. I'll be right back. I'm definitely not going to go talk about about behind your back. Just stay right there. She goes straight to the girls picnic, and she's like straight to the roads. Jordan. She said I made that with Danielle again. I mean, he was totally grossed out to go where. With the wanna make out with me to a babe, babe. Go fuck yourself, dude. Jordan's like, here's the team white. We came home, and she totally made out with me and tried to take me to bed and cargoes y grog owes. Why why wouldn't you do that of like, yo like you totally had a chance to do it? Why wouldn't you do it? And he goes, I'm not hitting. Joins like. Listen, the thing is I made out with three girls last night. So she was one of the three. So it's like it wasn't like even special like, so no and girls, I'm not a math guy. But that's a lot. I was just leave it. I'm not a math guy. I was just thinking general statement. But that's a lot of checks. I definitely did not see him doing that. But then again. You know, I certainly got my quota of Jordan for the weekend. If you know what I'm saying quota corner growing up getting quota somewhere. So how much is Jordan lying because is that just his thing? He's a compliant because I would know if he made out with three girls, they're all in like a tiny little place in that in the Hamptons, Jordan is the guy who gets roped into he's like in wolf of Wall Street or something he's the one who gets like there's some like alpha. Do there's some like Aaron Eckhart type person who comes up with some terrible scheme. Jordan gets roped into it. Because he wants to be the cool guys talks everything up. And then when it comes time for someone to get killed the first killed when the thing goes wrong. He's the one he's like guys like, it's fine. Like like, no, no, please. Please. Please, please. I didn't mean to I just wanted to fit in the shoot him. Jor audiences cheering. Jordan tells us I have an extremely Vonk town, and he sticks that sucker out. And he's like love using this thing like, you're so gross. Dude. You're out grossing Carl Carl looks like a total Gent yet. Charles doing great this season. I'm like, I think I like Karl I'm like what when did this happen? I know I love Carl here. I know like I love Carl now. Fucking bravo. That's how it does here. Bro. Like, I don't know why you would make out with that Schick. But I have fun and at least a finger. Banging I'm for it. I'm sure goes. All right. Well, you know, if that happens can I call and Carl for an assist and they just both stare at him and Carl's like. I did this story line. Last season's no. Did you just proposition Carl for three way, Jordan? I tried. What Jordan is something going on the episode? This episode also also honestly, if you say you love using that tongue like honestly, like why would you not I'm not even saying like like you'd her out or something like that? I'm just like she's trying to take up the bedroom. Like, why not like at the very least have like a hot makeup session the bed. Like, you know, what I'm saying make any sense. He's after Carl. So I think the question has been answered so meanwhile, Lindsay is like sitting on that picnic blanket, and she's all Madge, Jordan. He doesn't even know about me and saying things off it's like, it's so annoying. Like, I can't even go straight for the roses. I to go sideways and back again to the Rosa because I'm so mad. Relations are living on money talking about my friend. I wanna case them point me. I won't case. I'm point you out of here case. Most devastating comeback appall time. Like, I'm gonna case in point you out of here. Gave them point point at some point might give. Well, that brings us to the end of some aisles. So funny. So funny, I'm very excited. If you guys enjoyed this recap, which hopefully you did and hopefully live in the Phoenix Scottsdale Glendale, greater area Tempe. Come see us next Saturday talking summer house, and it's going to be super super fun. We're gonna make fun of these people altogether. And also same Portland for Rony who doesn't love real housewives of New York. So watch a crap in dot com to get tickets for those shows you only have a leak left to get tickets. Don't wait any longer. It's time to do it act on it. Okay. See guys later. Bye.

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