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Episode 85: What if hammers were the only tool?

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

In what if what if I was a what if we had nine lives blooded pits ups or if money through on trees they've redid nappy back. Then insert absurd medical everybody and welcome to absurd hypotheticals. The show we over think dumb questions. So you don't have to. I'm your host markets later then joined here today by Chris and Ben Storms. Say Hi guys. Hey Chris Hey I'm Ben I think we're going to take the show and switch it into a show about home improvement because I think we're onto something here higher Tim Allen. He'd still around right. He's still doing his last man standing. Oh yeah that show building show no Sitcom. He works at like an outdoor store. Something like that. My Dad watches it. What's what's what's less man? Standing apply is the last man of like small dogs better. He's the only man in the family history daughters. I don't know if it counts if you last man standing if you have three daughters all it's part of a joke and say good joke but that is that is the Tim Allen. Just stick but yes. Our our question are question for this week is what if hammers were the only tool. Get rid of all the other tools so just to be a little more specific. What we mean here is handle so anything. That economists like holding your hand to do something with screwdriver. Yell like a Screwdriver. Wires yeah exactly to handle you guys get it. We are not taking away now. We've I think anything that you fasten. Something that stays in place is a fastener and not handle so you can use nails so you haven't else. I think that's about as well as we defined it. Before we just went ahead and did he talk back and forth a bit about like a Jackhammer Hammer and I think we all agree on that one. Yeah absolutely fucking not yeah. It's not says hammer technically. It's called the hammer but like it's more of a chisel. Yeah kind of like if someone was like. Hey can you pass me that hammer and you had them the thing that you're trying to ask about. And if they say what the fuck is this. This isn't a hammer. Then if someone asked me for a hammer and I handed him a Jackhammer. They'd be like what are you doing? The definition of really for my answer but okay. Well close enough all right. Well we'll just we'll just accept that your hammers are going to be a little different. We didn't really hammer this down before we started. So wow that is great you to keep going on with the episode also. The expression is in the down. I just realized you know what fuck it just roll. Camera down is still a phrase is probably you hammer things out you nail them down? I Combined Zoo hammered. It down makes more sense to me than hammer at what it doesn't Henry now is like if you're like blacksmith. And you're like hammering out a piece of metal. Okay that makes sense or like your car gets dented. And you tap it from behind right yeah anyhow pointing but you can do things with hammers at least so. I'm going to start what I like to do with some of these questions. Where there's this weird thing that's going to impact society of bunch but you don't know it's hard to grasp right away is kind of look at your at yourself at your daily life. So let's imagine you wake up in the morning and go about your daily routine so you wake up you get Outta bed. Yoshi our yet dressed and so far. You actually haven't really run anything problematic. Which is much better than we usually do a hypothetical but they were not in other words. You had because you gotta go back to the bathroom because there's one thing that you haven't done yet and it's brush your teeth will absolutely say. A toothbrush is a hand tool. I agree with that same here. Yeah so this is my first hardware. How the fuck you brush your teeth word sees. It's not gonNa work as well but you can make it. Work does it. So basically I have. I have a couple of options here. So number one. I have is just scraping your teeth with a hammer and yeah you can do it. But it's just one. It's going to be awful. This is not going to be fun for your mouth now. It might not actually be painful. But that's scraping is going to be just. I don't think nine out of ten. Dentists recommend that one they might now. Okay well fair all right number two written down here is just a lot of a lot of mouthwash like you just chug the shit and just like Swish. It back and forth for like the two minutes that recommend you brush and hope that that's enough since discount is a hand tool. I think it does okay. I think like the role of loss isn't once you take it out and have it. You know raptor under fingers that I consider that a hand tool definitely the ones where. It's like a plastic thing. I figured they call it philosophy foster but there's one there's one one oral care thing. I don't consider a hand tool. Which is those water picks us. Some of them are just hand held. Those are hand tools but the one I have is like a container that sits on the like on your sink. And then it's got a little tube and then as a hand held component. But I think because it's connected. I now considered a device instead to agree with that. This this is where the definition of tool becomes a little easy marcus. Easy and clear. Chris not confirmed so I think we have to do is get one of those fancy water picks which I'll say I actually enjoy it a lot. I never lost before and now I got this and I lost all the time. So real life tip. Get One of these things if you're bad at Lawson because they're fun and they shoot watering your mouth and it's not as terrible as that sets so now you've got you've gotten freshened up and now it's time for Breakfast and oh boy. Are you gonNa Miss Your Kitchen Gadgets so I tried to keep things as simple as possible because there's already plenty of problems with it so let's just do breakfast? Let's let's take some crab scrambled eggs yet. Your egg grab you get a bowl. You crack the egg into the ball. I guess through your egg up should be pretty simple with a hammer. Thank yes you can do it with like the like. Probably the back end of the hammer was probably the better side to do. It was just like the handle and you can get stirred up. It's not it's not a really big problem. It's really kind of annoying. I don't think it's going to be much less efficient than like either like a fork or a whisk or whatever you you guys use. What do you guys use to scramble up your eggs? I use a fork. I usually use a whisk. Sometimes lazy into a fork was small enough to like do an egg. I bought I bought a set of three differently. Sized whisks in one nice and small maybe like an engine a half across the top perfect for I do not own a whisk. See we are on very different engines concern. Chris have you ever upgraded your amount of utensils that you have Chris from when we were in college together. I have multiple forks now. Overdoses but being Chris live together for like half a summer in college and what happened was I used to live with With the other friend who had a fully stocked like kitchen like he had all the kitchen stuff for college because he cooked a lot and like people liberal that and so I moved in with him like Oh shit. I need to buy anything so I went for that half hour with Christopher had nothing literally nothing for the kitchen. I have the intent to buy them but I kind of went out the window because it was like two months like not even like upright yeah significant stretch of time and so I was like. Oh just use whatever you know. Whatever press has and so turns out? Chris had one four one. Nine one spoon one plate one bowl and won both played so it didn't seem worth it for me to go out and buy like you know because if I bought everything I have to get all the different pieces I probably spending hundred fifty bucks on like just utensils and dish wear so it will like Oh Chris. Are you done with dinner out in the work? I do so I did buy a sense. I have like a set of plates in a set of balls. Now okay. It's not. It's not a lot but it's more than one. That's that helps. That would have been much. That would have been preferable beach but anyway back veteran hypothetical here I would have multiple hammers at least three. So you got your stirred up not big problem. I guess fried eggs right out at this point. That's just not this is not gonNA work. Can you flip an egg? Yes don't get into is just like you. Got The eggs in the Pan and again you can kind of. Stir the eggs in the pan but you scraping off. The bottom is going to be tough and to the back of the hammer is probably pretty good for scraping but it's just GonNa destroyer pans like holy crap chefs do that flip thing with the pan yet to special it first of the egg. I mean you can kind of toss you can toss scrambled eggs. Yeah it doesn't really matter. You scrambled eggs. Known scraper scrambled egg. He's like nonstick Pan Right. Well that's how that's how you will. But that's how you get like the Nice Nice large curls eggs sorry I make scrambled eggs law anyway. Yeah also also this is this. Is this scrambled eggs like literally? This is the easiest thing possibly. Goddamn do and it's already getting annoyed. Yeah you want to do like poached. Eggs fucking hollandaise sauce. You'RE GONNA have way more problems so you got your plan. You can kind of mix it around. You'RE GONNA probably go through pens. Just beat them up with the hammers. It's going to be less civilized world for sure and then let's let's say you just want an English muffin on the side. Here's where I think actually fucked. Because how are you going to cut your English muffin? And a half. So they have what they go hatchet hammer where the back half of the hammer is not a you know not the nail prior. It's just like turns into like a hand axe if you turn the hammer around. But I mean if you've if you've ever cut an English muffin you know that's not gonna be a tenable solution to get it opened in. What looks like an English muffin. It's not gonNA be nicely cut in half. They're fun thing. Did you know you're actually not supposed to cut muffins with a knife if you tell me to tear it apart? You're not tearing apart your hands when you have an English muffin. What you want is like the you know the sort of ridges in it. Because it's all like airy in the middle of cut with a knife those flatten out. So we're supposed to do is take a fork and like poke that all the way through and then like twisted open. I think we're we're learning. This episode. Is that Ben. Needs to start cooking. Joe Hi I cook a lot. I made some excellent chicken parm for my wife and I last night for Valentine's Day at the time of this recording recorded marcus. Thank you for recording. You've made chicken parm. Okay hold chicken par. It's just doesn't scream. You know so chicken. Chicken parm was the first meal. Ever cut for her family. Started dating so it was kind of a nice little. You know. Throw back to that so you get a ride that every year so you can get away with making chicken parm for Valentine's Day. I make good as chicken. Parm down pit I cook for you. It was delicious was very good. I made a sauce from scratch. It's very good. Yeah no I mean like fired. It's chicken I'm not arguing visit delicious one of my favorite meals. You haven't had much a compartment. It's very good. It's not the chicken part isn't good. It's it's chicken fucking Parmesan Valentine's Day Cilla. She says read like a heart and and the cheese oozes like a heart. I don't know the best metaphors falling apart here. I mean we made like Panko across at Salmon with okay. Hold on hold on chicken. Parm IS PACO crusted chicken. I don't really see the distinction there. Well it's not bathe in Marinara sauce. Right that's flaw. Say That lightsaber tool for more civilized age. The age that they're currently in that's not civilized covered Marinara sauce. Yeah I WANNA live with that age. I sounds delicious. You'RE WRONG. Why being a fish or like a nice roast or something. Next year point point being. You could totally split an English muffin with like the backside climber I mean maybe the the trick is to with that. Is that the back of the claw hammers. That's the point like a single point in the back right sort of your standard like nail Polish hammer the curve and I really that. They're pretty thick though at the end. Aren't they think you squish the English Muffin? Before any of this happens so there are so. Let's I keep prematurely. Cutting are stupid ranch short so that continue with the episodes may not be good pockets and I don't know it feels like a positive improvement. You continue. I'm just kind of making the point. That the thing with the Harris that you can get away with most things. It's just all going to be very messy annoying. Which really culminates in now? Now you've made your breakfast. You got your chunks of English muffin and your your eggs with potential pen shards in it and now it's time to eat your eggs guys needed. Utensil climbers burnt down. It's I guess we can trade your plate to create a catapult effect in your math. Now what I said things are just GonNa be okay but not civilized. This is exactly what I think. You put your scrambled eggs in a Mug and tore them into your mouth. Oh boy and again I I looked at you know it's not like I didn't try to solve these problems because I hate. I don't like what I'm like. Hey look at all these problems. Everything sucks and there's nothing you can do about it so I went on and I went onto Raj tool adviser dot com and I have this list of forty different types of hammers and their uses. And there's basically like mallets and hammers and sometimes they got different bits on the back and none of them are useful for eating. And what I can tell you I can guarantee that. This list is full comprehensive list of hammers because about three quarters of the way down the list right when they're trying to get to their fortieth hammer so they put a nail gun in which I think we can all say. It's definitely not ever okay. Hold on in. Its sheaves the same goal to be fair under your previous definition and ask her hammer. I guess it depends on what they need it for half the time to be like. Okay Yeah this does work let me let me let me read their description for gun nilgun while not technically a hammer. Okay so you got me there. So if the list of forty hammers has to resort to putting a nail on it I have to assume that the other thirty nine hammers roll the ones that won't be put on I and just needed one more to get to forty for their click. Bay title is better than that one article I that said hundred one uses for hammer and then they only list nine next page page in the subtitle articles. Like we really only nine. But there's a lot more but you could. You could expand these into subcategories if you so chose maybe one hundred one. We'll let you do what you play along at home with your hammer all right. So you shoveled or drank or otherwise navigated scrambled eggs into your mouth. So you've you've successfully ate breakfast and now you have to work. You don't want to my problems like nothing really interferes with driving. You can just like go and drive the car to work and you get to work at the hospital because your job in this hypothetical is your surgeon before you the very obvious problem. That is your whole job. First thing that's going to happen when you walk in a nursing ahead you paper prescription or some craft aside and here's another problem. The pet is I consider a Pentagon tool guys. You probably wouldn't. This wouldn't be a writing system if amateur the only tool right. We wouldn't use like paper when P. thing. Yeah so again. There are solutions. Another great so you could. You could use a hammer with appointed back like a rock hammer and kind of like Chisel out letters like if you ever softwood maybe and choose which is gonNA take goddamn forever. I was thinking you could have nails with a little letters embedded on the heads and he'd be like stopped your ears like a human typewriter human typewriter. Then you have like a little belt all the different letters and then you could. You could do that and I guess you can just like you. Don't even that many because you hammer something out and then you just like pull up your nails again and put back but realistically. I think Chris has kind of hitting at this already. We probably going digital where I would consider an IPAD. A hand tool or even really like a phone. I don't think the phone is a hand tool. I agree with that. Yes it's A. It's a tool that you would using your hand but just in my head is just not like if someone is this a handle on a big. No no it's not so let's move on to the surgeries here surgery as a whole is what you might call handle based and as far as I can tell not being medical expert and not knowing all the different little corner cases there's really only two basic surgeries that are going to be left on the operating table. One of them being amputations and While that one's GonNa be unpleasant and I don't think there's actually that many times. Amputation is useful. Even if we run out of all the other surgeries that we can use so you can do those. They're going to be messy. These are not going to be fun. Amputations has our means of doing them has now turned into was going to give give give it a good whack with my axe hammer here. At least we have the axe hammer rated read. It's not a blunt edge that we're doing it. We have the hatchet hammered. But it's it's like I don't know how much force you have to put in a hatchet hammer to to get through a like a leg because there's probably a lot because if you ever tried to hatchet something like a small acts and it's just like you swing it pretty hard and the like barely a dent in the thing you're trying to break. Wow I am weak or I should really committed more. Their surgeons are going to be checked. Oh Yes surgeons. Anyway this lumberjacks pick like the best five gets to go on to med school and the other one kind of on the same logic of the water pick. I wouldn't consider laparoscopic tools to be had tools. So these are these are the ones leper strawberries. When they make a small incision and then they put in like this very long tool like it's kind of almost looks like a a water spray. Hose type thing at the end of the tools. Like they'll have little that'll be like little snippers grabbers clamper or whatever and the idea is that they can make a small incision even decently far away from what they're trying to fix and the kind just go into your tummy or whatever and then with cameras on the Lakers Coptic instruments. They can see it without opening you up and gutting fish so because they connect to like the part of a bigger system. I'm going to put them in the category of the water. Pick and say you can still do these kinds of surgeries and when you do these really the the the tools all these Tools he really not running into too many problems but there is one last little bit that you still have to do. Is You still have to make that initial incision and I maybe like a small little incision? It's still a little tricky because again you don't have a knife in you. Have your budget tool hammer. But like how sharp is that really going to be so I think they waste. Restarts is like they put you under the surgeon kind of sheepishly pulls out his little like hatchet and going to whack. That's not too bad. A pretty uncontrolled surgery is really only. If you absolutely need it now I mean it kind of is that already Mazar. Just wait there and just a little sidebar. Because that's pretty much what I got a little sidebar when looking for looking for world's smallest hammer because kind of seeing like well hammers are big and clunky. So you might need small. Wants to do like Yo finicky work. I found interesting article that has to do with medicine. But not much else hypothetical about the world's smallest hammer so the researchers at the University of California Santa Barbara have developed a they call it a hammer on a microscopic scale on so basically what they're using it for is they're using it to test brain cells after traumatic injury and so basically it's it works with. Magnus so basically magic. And it's like one cell big the hammer and they'll like kind of like catcher cell and then like hit it with this tiny little hammer using this. The study like injuries like in question things to see how the cells repair themselves. It's a reflex test for your brain except if the reflects TESCO was damage. Your knees well. Yeah that's the reflexive will not change would be just fine. That one is a okay. I think with that I'm going to pass it over to you Ben. Yeah so I wanted to look into something sort of maybe not the first thing you would think of because obviously a lot of marcus brought up but I was kind of wondering what is doing. Just kind of a project like. That's where you'd use a lot of the more traditional hand tools like a woodworking project so why does look at was building a birdhouse. That's a Nice Nice simple simple project as classic project exactly. You know. I'm pretty pretty easy. You Know Yeah. Little first woodworking project really lifting if do is get some would and if you're actually doing this he just go to. Home Depot or whatever and buy some would but what's to come from somewhere so in a world of all hammers. How do you cut down? A tree is apparently a quote about this. I found which is not true. The Hammer takes about thirty days. If you create a hammer for an accident cut down about thirty minutes. The idea is that it's like you know. Use the right tools for the job. Not Smart Cards smart really not smart. That's what we're saying here ever ever accused street business. Apparently don't want to be a smarty right so so I took that that attraction and three days forty three thousand hundred minutes and by that math a hammer is one thousand. Four hundred forty times slower ax. So that's GONNA hold us back a little bit but I don't want that we are only source on how long it's GonNa take everything because that's a scientific number because that's not a scientific number at all so for more science. There's a video game called project. Jon voight which is a game where apparently you can cut down trees with either axes or Hans van before you go any further. You did start that sentence with to be a bit more scientific and then immediately jumped to in this video game. Cut down a tree. It's so well fair I'll I'll I'll give you that one I would. I would say that it's less scientific. I will so to be fair. This is something where someone actually decided how strong tree is and how strong a hammer is instead of just polling two very different numbers out of their ass so it is at least. I would argue vaguely more scientific. How would you rate a person who has designed a video games on? Boyd's I assume this is an indie title. He probably worked on long train themselves. What do you think their experience with freezes? I think that the Creator might be Swedish so it might be more likely never mind. We actually confirmed that one before I commit to that hold on let's see UK. I think they're British actually. I can't tell how that helps me. I don't think it helps you. So okay wait wait. Hold on three three from the UK but one from Canada candidate helps a little bit helps a little bit. Canada does do a little bit fine continuing the green light slightly more scientific now slightly more scientific so so in this game you. Can you know? Cut Down Trees to get would to make stuff takes five hits a tree down with an axe and somewhere between one hundred forty one and one hundred seventy five hits the Hammer. So it's like thirtyish times slower which see feels like an underestimation like it's GonNa take more than I don't know if that thirty minutes is accurate which I don't know that actually is but I could be reasonable. At least I guess but definitely slower. So how actually do so? Technically markets kind of brought up there. Are you know we think of as axes that are technically hammers because they do have a blunt end so like firemen's acts that's technically like a hammer quote unquote? I'm going to say you can't use that because that goes against the spirit of the idea because we call it Max because we call an accident right. Yeah there's like one on my list of the comprehensive list of four different types of Hammer. There's like one hatchet hammer and it's not very big. It's like a you know. Imagine a hammer in. The packages flattened sideways. So it's like a two blade. Yeah so I was seeing there. Were some where Was like malls which were kind of like like a sledgehammer size but one end is like an axe end. The US front you would and I was seeing those referred to as hammers which felt like Cina me. So how do you like the process of a tree? It's basically you. Just you know yet to get wood out of the tree until it falls over so keen uterus removed would with like a Claw Hammer. Yes the one thing I could find. People like quote unquote clean entrees. The hammers videos of pretty much always kids for some reason which seem very unsafe to me. Just taking claw hammers and like slamming. The military's strip went out of it. Which like parents. Don't let your kids do that because that feels very unsafe. Even if the tree doesn't fall on them like just the woods writing exactly there's also one video or it was like two kids next to each other at one tree doing and I was like what are you doing. This seems really bad. Dumpings them things. There's also one real trump what inexperienced people cut down a tree. And is that when you when you were cutting into the tree you make that little wedge? Because you know it's GonNa fall over but you I don't know about you guys but I'm never sure if the tree falls away or towards the wedge I believe it falls towards the wedge. That's the idea. That's my question to but I think it's the opposite when I imagine in my head. It's the opposite but when I actually think about it. It's that's what I think. So I think you make a wedge and then cut in from the other side and it falls because the cut is bigger on the website at falls that way but I'm actually not sure about that issue you wedge it on both sides. Yeah anyway point being. You could do this with a Claw Hammer. It would take you a very long time so usually have a tree down. How do you get into boards In the real world uses sawmill which basically a motorized saw like a moving frame that you put the lockdown and then it goes across horizontally to make boards and you can go vertically tooting. Flam is is well obviously. I GUESS. Technically you could still use mail. Yeah I would argue that the hand to hand tool so you could do that. I want to see if you can do with Harris yet. I'm your plan is to do with the hammer hammer mill. So actually the first question is is a hand was a hammer mill. Is that anything? Yes it actually is. What if we feel a factory with hammers this anything like I just wanted to know like like you know you can have a standalone Simul? Can you have a hammer mill thing and actually is you? It's like a grinder. It's you know you put like material and it and it hits you with a bunch of tiny hammers passes through and grinds enough does not hopeless here. But it's kind of cool so you know. Hey the more you know and everything is a thing if you're going to make boards with hammers you're basically you're going to have to like split your logs which you can do with hammers you get your hammer chunk down it. Maybe hit with another hammer to break apart just like split again. And then there's like scrape it down with another hammer so there are brick hammers which use her masonry work which like a Chisel on one end by figuring out your Brooke Hammer in one hand had like the the Chisel side down the board like a Rubber Mallet on the other hand and just scrape away until he got nice flat board. Hopefully kind of and I have sort of you know. Measure out your your planned. Birdhouse pieces Nice Classic Birdhouse. Shave this kind of the took the house. You draw when you're a kid you know with like a like a a Pentagon with like the square and a triangle on top. You know that sort of that sort of look Pentagon. Yeah I'm like not not a regular Pentagon but is the Pentagon as five sides for her. Can't picture it okay. So you have a square. You put trying on top of that. That's literally it. Oh Okay Staff I. Yeah as imagining the base. Not The oh no no. No no no sorry. The full the full full shit. Yeah so obviously. A ruler is definitely handle. Marcus brought the idea. That pens are hand tools. I would. I would go either way on that one but a- pens. I figured figured you'd just you know you would use your hammer as straight edge to to Layer hammer down and dry out your your sides with the side of the hammer and then like for the angles. You would find hammers with different angles on the like like the you know the front and back to like make your regular angles or we're GONNA WE'RE GONNA make a hammer shape. Birdhouse pretty much going to be also roughly hammer size. Because the only way you could measure things because Roy. Moore's art obviously hand tools measuring the hammer is actually a thing that apparently like electricians physically do a lot because with like when you're putting in electrical outlets it doesn't matter how high up they are as long as they're all consistent so they'll just like put their hammer on the wall and then put it on top of that imagine in this world all the hammers will be standardized like all. The length will be the standard then like all the angles elise standard. So you can use the angles. I think we should use existing hammers because once you go down that rabbit hole. Now you're inventing you have hammers with different links of handle for different uses and you do have like based on the What like back. The Hammer has like a sledgehammer. We'll have you know an even like ninety degree angle on it Someone like the more like will have an obtuse angle so it can be more effective there so you have some the thing is you're gonNA lose. You'RE GONNA lose someone you're GONNA be like a ratchets that where you're gonNA lose some of the measurement of hammers that you need all stupid metric hammer blows close but not quite so annoying. So but if you're gonNA tell me that can't use a panel to provide a little bit. I mean you can also just softly score would to measure and things like. It's not a for building. It's not a big deal. Yeah exactly use the Chisel end of the hammer and and scored in. It'll be fine so it's not bad to cut it chisel and again the Chisel and hammer is actually a very useful in. This world does a lot for you. Your Lines Chisel win knock your pieces out. Nice Little Entry Hall in the same way you know you could also if you're feeling adventurous just like hammer through and if you call. That seems dangerous. No that's not gonNa work out for me. Yeah no I guess these score really well. Let's not go down that road now. We did mention San Unit. Was YOUR ARGUMENT OF SAND. Your birdhouse for aesthetics and the comfort of the birds. I don't know I don't understand it. But we're going to go down that road anyway. Sandpaper we decided is a hand tool But really you just need something abrasive the euro on it so you can put like sand or like apparently walnut shells ground walnut shells and rub it with a cloth. I heard of that. It's still weird to me. Yeah I found on Amazon. You can buy a four pound box of ground walnut shells for twenty dollars interesting. What is better than sand? I don't know is it cheaper than walnuts. Yes have you ever bought Walnuts Hell? Yeah it is like ideas to assemble it. This part actually pretty much the same glue and nails glue is not a hand tool. That's an adhesive nails. We're good at. That's really what we're you know designed for in this world and then finally last thing you need you should make a low perch on the front burner said on or you know. Get more easily. Apparently you're not supposed to purchase on birdhouses. Most birds don't need him to get in and it makes it easier for a Predator to get in or like harass the bird from outside so apparently ideal you don't put purchase up birdhouses but they look nice. Where's the classic? The point of the purchase. Not that the bird is better off is that you can see the fucking bird that lives there. Because he's always going on my so we're going on a lot of things you can do with it. You can use a dowell wooden dow. We're not going to do that because that seems impossible. Making a Dow people put like golf tees or like I saw like a maple syrup tap uses a perch literally easy option. It's a nail hand that ran in. And Hey he got birdhouse. That wasn't that bad. It took several days to down your tree but that was kind of the worst part. That's the truth down and went pretty fast not too bad so actually much much more possible than I really thought so. What about what about painting it so apparently I actually had to not have this by it. It's actually once again bad to paint birdhouses Because they stand out against the trees and the birds get freaked out by them and don't live there because it's very obvious so it's better to just use natural would get to now this educational episode of the podcast. That could explain where like when we at the State House. There's been more rural. My Dad likes to build. Housing Elbert has built like the person that removed in color their brightly colored. 'cause we have we would have us. Kids paid them but the first time for God knows what reason he built a bat. House has where you know. It's a birdhouse for bats. A put down a put that on the side of the House that one worked immediately. Plenty of bats. I've been I've been trying to convince my wife that once we actually have a house to allow me to Ferrari with bats make a bat house. Because it's super good at-bats around so cheap bugs that are good to have Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. But like the problem bats is. That they're untrustworthy. Were you hurt by a bad? No but like I've been near Bats and we have a bat flying overhead because they're not that high they could be in theory at person level even though the echo locate real good. You don't trust them to fly up into things like you know. They're blinds that even though they're not actually blind and declaration works great and they're just fine so they can find tiny little buds in the air. Yup and they're not gonNA bump it to you but you don't. They flap around kind of like haphazardly. And it's it. It looks like they're going to bump into you know. I like bats more bugs so I want some batch around anyway. That's my answer. We got kind of on a tangent. There tangents this episode. Well Chris what did you do so I looked at who hammers as weapons nice. The friendly Benz build a nice birdhouse. I'm saving people's lives and Chris like what are we. Hit people with the Hammer. Everyone looks like a nail yup those because when he brought up this hammer question like the first thing that popped into my mind old boy the movie oldboy where he fights people off of Amherst. I wanted to go down that route. I've never heard of this movie. You've never heard of any movie. It's a pretty. I mean it's a foreign movie but it's still pretty famous. Is it then which movie sorry? I'm checking my phone bad of this. All Boy oh boy always great t all right hold on so so you know. Did you watch daredevil? I did not now. Dan had never know. Anyway there's a fighting in all it's like one hundred percent inspired by a particular. I think the fighting. You're out to talk about an old boy. Chris. I'm not really GonNa talk about it but oh well answered it. Okay well regardless. But that's sort of what inspired my answer this time so. I wanted to look at hammers as weapons and to do that. I went like further back in history to see when amherst actually used his weapons in warfare so wore hammers emerged in the fourteenth century and they started to gain popularity in the Fifteenth Sixteenth Century. And they were mainly a reaction to the development of curved plate armor. Because Kirk played army was once they got harder and harder. They were better at protecting against swords and other sharp weapons because they provided like glancing surface so a sword hideo just like ricochet off so as a reaction to that can cause of weapons became more popular now in western Europe the development of were hammers. Obviously there's there's the blunt end which is designed to like dent strong armor the hammer if you will the hammer part and then a lot of hammers later on they started develop a pig on the site on on the back. Those designed more to pierce softer parts of armor. is also designed to so you could like hook onto enemies like hook onto their shield if you wanted to or like public off their horses multipurpose. Yes it's very much like a regular hammer where the front bit is very good at the one thing that it's generally known for doing and then the backup. It's actually the secret helpful. Part right and then eventually a added like a spike to the end of the shafts. They could like stab people. So that's not like a normal hammer that would make we working very excited. Yeah and over time but the length of the shaft actually grew bigger and bigger just because it provided more swinging power is bigger arc says just a more powerful weapon and these hammers were mainly used by like Heavily Armored Knights. That's 'cause they're big and heavy. There's Kinda slow so you need to be heavily armored. But by late six fifteenth and Sixteenth Century The investments of other weapons like the Pike in the polacks as well as the were hammer. Kinda made heavy armor less effective and obviously armor slows you down they started to favor more speed and agility so by the early Seventeenth Century They. Kinda just abandoned herald together and a big contributor. That was that like Muskets started introduced and but like there weren't very accurate at all. So the chances of getting hit by muscular pretty low so they felt kind of safe to just like abandoned their their heavy armor So that was western Europe now in eastern Europe particularly like around Poland that area they also had where Emirates but they. They more heavily favored lighter armor light. Armour's like more common than just like heavily knights and we're hammers. Were mainly uses a secondary weapon for Light Light Infantry They're called like Polish who's ours. Were like the a specific type of fighter. So these hussars they're lighter and more agile like their their armour never weighed more than like thirty pounds is pretty light and in the sixteenth seventeenth century. These who SARS day late they thrive. They're like way bigger than any Heavily Armored Knights but eventually like the introduction of gunpowder kind of phased out the use of amherst for them too because like musketeers. Replace them and see. That's like I said that's the power crews these games because they had this really cool you know. Rock paper scissors balanced on a bike now. More hammers are good. But you can be like lighter or heavier and you can balance things out and then came out with the powerful Musket and our bonds like well. Shit. Now we're just shooting each other like a common trend in history is like they eventually they favor speed into daily and eventually the gun powder is introducing guns phased hammers but in our world. Because I'm considering guns tool a our definition of tools kind of different. I guess 'cause I think maybe Marcus might not consider gun a hand tool bomb considering the hand tool I would consider going to handle okay so I guess we're we're on the same page so we don't have the introduction of guns anymore in history but we still have gone. I don't consider gunpowder tool. I consider that and you can use that material lake with your other tools to enhance them. So if we didn't have guns but we had gunpowder. How would that affect the advancement of Hammers as a weapon? So I started to look into that. I'd searched like I forget. I think it just searched gunpowder. Hammer run into a problem. Where the thing that hits the gun powder gun is generally called the hammer right now. Actually the first thing I found was like exactly what I was looking for. What Well Karen. That's unexpected. Yeah not how this research usually goes not usually so apparently in Mexico. There's a thing called the exploding hammer festival. Oh my God i WanNa go and what they do is they just strap a bunch of like gunpowder to sledgehammer tape it on or something and then they have a hard surface on the ground. Sometimes in the video I watched they were using Like steel I beam and they just hit the I beam with the hammer and it explodes. This is the coolest fucking thing just like my girlfriend will be like. Why are you doing this? I wouldn't have an explanation. I can only say because it's an exploding however course you're doing it. Yeah it's incredibly dangerous and it's like this is a festival so like a bunch of people doing it. It's not like just one person's doing everyone else who's watching. It's like a whole field of people are doing it so like I was watching a video of and there's like a blogger and you could just hear random explosions in the background because people are just doing this. And I'm actually going to send you guys Gif to show you what it's like. Ooh Ah Jeff Hold on one second skiff. Marcus it'll be here in a Jiffy. His guy with the Hammer. He's GonNa hit it. You're getting a play by play by Olivio. Nobody can see but Baram that is literally just like the hammer to shoot up in the sky and throws them backwards. It's amazing yeah so this happening all over the place in this field here. And he's like no protection he's not wearing any venue. Kinda just got a hat on. He's gotTa have baseball. Canada is yeah like sends the Hammer flying into the air which is incredibly dangerous because this is exactly in the range of where that hammer might end up. Yeah so this exists if you are holding the hammer tight enough can you fly? Because it looks like he tries to hold onto it for shoots up into the sky but if he just held his grip. I wonder if he could have flown. I Tyler Gunston exists. I think this would be like the natural progression of where weapons go people would just start strap it 'cause it's like gunpowder is obviously a very valuable tool and this is like one of the only ways you can use it in the context of hammers do you do you end up with a Lord of the rings type thing where you have the guy with the nuclear warheads. Strap the front of his error as he charges into the middle of the city. The torch bearing guy in a helmet deep. Yeah Lord of the Rings. He's like runs and just like the fountain or whatever just like here. We go to dig possibility. This this technique will be very useful especially while like soldiers still wearing metal armor cozy of a hard circus. And that is. I want to look like how else could use competitor. Now like history has shown that they favored speed and agility. So I wanted to see if you could use gunpowder as propellant so like if you propel the hammer with the gun. Padded make you make so you can swing faster. Are you reinventing a hammer? Gun Hammer Gun. Is that a thing. I mean if you use gunpowder to propel thing say a bullet voice pull it with Hammer. I don't know if I did deadly. Reinvented the hammer gun. I did not do that but you could do that. Yes okay what's your thing? Then so once obviously gutters propellant but they are like other like the technology for propellants develops further and we get like rocket para things so I was I started looking like rocket propelled hammers and this is a fictional. Like in a bunch of a fictional things. This is a thing so so it's not thing is it's not a real life thing. It's a fictional thing. An existing fictional thing so in the video game fallout four. There's the super sledge in overwatch. Also videogame Reinhart's hammer is called the rocket. Amer and it's just has round the back and then in the movie elite a battle Angel. They don't have rocket hammer. They have a rocket pick is the same basic principle though just big weapon with rocket. That propels its. He can swing faster now. I wanted to see if this is actually possible in real life so I looked up some videos. There is some people do some pretty things at their at their video of these guys they They got a replica of Reinhart's hammer from overwatch and they basically just put a bunch of rockets on the back because they want to test of Israel. They were bad the same curiosity as me. So there the replica. Hammers actually still pretty big in like heavy. So they're actually kind of able to make it work they basically had to like they didn't swing it normally like they had to lift it up and let it drop but when they let a drop the they still propelled it in like. It's still increased. The impact force like significantly and the speed significantly so it had some impact interest. It's like you could actually so my thought on the on the rocket hammer is if if the you'll get propulsion but the rate of repulsion will match. You know how fast a hammer would swing. You won't really get that much but I guess if they're hidden results. I'm not gonNA argue with Youtube. I mean it's more. It's not like a normal swing. I guess just because the hammers so heavy said really just like increasing the effect of gravity on the example that I had So me and my physics brain was probably correct but I think if you did have a smaller hammered still like it would kind of work. I think I didn't have any examples of the smaller hammer but I would say if you had the smaller physics so that was like a big heavy sledgehammer but I imagine if we shrink the hammer down to. It doesn't have to be like the normal size hammer that you imagine when you say hammer because I think that's probably too small for a rocket but somewhere between you can get a hammer in between their their their hammers that are not heavy and not superlight And they put a rocket on there and you can put a trigger on the handle. He can like when you swing. He can pull the trigger. And you'd be like mega swing super fast. It'll be pretty cool. Yes that's rocket powered hammers. And that's that's like gunpowder rocket propulsion. Now I want to look at like the next technology introduced after that. That made like a big impact on things is electrity so I want to see how electricity would affect the development of war hammers if hammers was the main tool that we were using and first thing that came to mind was homer Simpson's electric hammer which is not very useful at all. But it's funny image where he just has like a self swinging hammer obviously not very useful instead of electric hammer. I I wanted to see what about an electrified hammer so I found a video another video of a guy doing something pretty stupid those running theme in my answer. I can tell so in preparation for Thor Ragnarok. That's when he released video He wants to build a replica of the milner or a thors hammer and he wanted to electrified. Say he by electrify. He put a three hundred. Volt capacitor inside the head of the Hammer. He basically had like a like a light. Kit like a hollow casing as a replica for the hammer may put a three hundred. Volt capacitor inside it. And then he like hooked it up so they can charge it up and like touch things with it and sent shockwaves through it. Though right right a human can handle up to like fifty vaults before it gets dangerous so obviously. Three hundred volts is very dangerous. The dance is that you do have to charge it. But it's it's it's deadly it can do damage and in the upside is. You don't need a hard surface like the gunpowder and it's not gonNa have the big blowback effect on the user that the gunpowder will so it's more controlled than the competitor? So I think eventually. That's that the advancement of war hammers is going to be. They're gonNA have like electric-shock Hammers and that will be pretty effective. I did look a little a little bit into long ranged amherst because all we have right now is just close range and like throwing hammers is an option. But I didn't really think it was that effective marcus mentioned hammer guns which. I guess could be a thing. I don't know how well that would work because I feel like the hammer is not a good projectile shape. It no it is not what. If what if you just plug the barrel of the gun with the handle and the hammerhead sticking out of the front and then it fires launches out? I guess maybe the best option but still not great. I also consider that not within our rules any market. I think that's a gun not a hammer. But that's fair. Yep require also becomes a concern. This is a true because the recall from something that weighs almost nothing like a bullet compared to I don't know a hammer is going to be a little different when their rocket launchers although I do like the image of just like you have these super high tech like sci fi fantasy electro electro hammers people charging down a hill with but there's no range weapons of people just like throwing regular s hammers until they start checking with electro hammers. I ain't that's basically what's going to happen. That's my vision of the Modern Day. Hammer soldier Zingani medium-sized Hammer. They'RE GONNA BE ROCKER PROPELLED. They're going to be electrified. Maybe some of them will have. We will use the the gunpowder as well just to mix it up. Yeah why not throw some exclusions in there and then like the ammunition instead of bullets? It'll be like battery packs for the electric charge or will like whatever propelled they're using or if they're using competitive and gunpowder. Vdi Munition. And then I think armor will probably be like rubber armor. I guess to to resist against the shock and it also raises against powder Hammers t because it doesn't provide like a hard surface for them to hit so diesel for boats. I think rubber armor will will be a big thing and that's that's my modern day vision of a soldier with Hammers. I need a backup for one. Secondly Lesser Camera. Yep just a second as someone who does have a degree in electrical engineering. I ain't evacuate the voltage thing okay. You're actually out voltage about amperage. Voltages actually not lethal. It's just like the different potential. For example like a out your houses one hundred ten volts in it and you can touch that and obviously be just fine. Google lied to me. Yep We care about his amperage which is the amount of for lack of better word electricity per second so I just want to get in front of that before people sending angry lottery giving we have an electrical engineer on your more voltage is worse for you though right amperage too but what more is worse for you. Also that will make it. I'm trying to remember exactly how basically goes I haven't dealt with us in a long time? higher voltage will make it like make it like Arc Actually probably one adrain to it well. Rt You most likely so. The Hammer will be made of rubber except for the electrified. Part at a certain point it will still like arc through air. If it's high enough folded though so I think what you want is actually lower voltage higher Andrew Orig- anyway point being before he will get angry and that that electricity blah blah whatever the video that I watched only focused on the voltage for some reason. Why but so. That's probably yes shit amperage and didn't want to admit it. Yeah also very hot. It's also very easy to be like. Whoa this thing is going to be so murderous executives like movement. Actually if it's like low amperage it sexually not dangerous lobby. You even have an arc issue in the video three-year-olds Works. I don't know what amperage he would need. Or what amputees looking for. But you can get there young. Assume he kept his his low so we hadn't like kill himself with it. I mean he. He used it on a piece of metal and Left like scorch marks on the metal so interesting looked pretty powerful to me. We're not saying it can't be dangerous. We just want just just WANNA go anyway. That's been spitting bends brain for the entire time of your ads. Race at the is ears are turning red and steams coming out of it has okay. Chris are you ready? I am ready. Would you rather where maps on your feet or sponges on your hands? Does SPRING CLEANING QUESTION? Yeah it is spring cleaning time right now. Well recorded lever that but at the time of release the IT is spring cleaning top ten degrees outside right now for us but this is the year we have to change your cat litter and then a democrat. Couldn't think of any other like the only the only way you clean. I'm trying to think of things that you probably more than once a year. But you tend their annual. I've always hit replace it. Replace Your your kitchen towel. Let's see it's a mop on feats on your feet or sponge on your hands. Does it have to be strapped to the front of your hand? Yes can you still pick things up is what I'm getting at. There is no question line that it has to be on the front your hand. I think yeah. I think it's from your hands but I mean you could still pick things up awkwardly because you could squish sponge. Okay and the MOP thing. I assume is on. It's not like on your shoes. It's it's on your actual feet. Oh God no shoes like Strep to your feet. Not Wow okay so you can wear shoes but then you put them up on over the shoes. Then they're the bottom surface whether you're wearing shoes or not. I don't really see a downside to having them up on your feet. Falling and dying is the downside. I mean it's a little slippery or I guess. But like you don't lose that much functionality. It's a lot slippery air and once it gets dirtier it'll you'll get friction. I don't know I think I think I'm assuming that they're just going to be wet. Because it's a mop at mops are generally wet so just constantly wet dry up ever yes. They're constantly they're constantly wet. They're magically always damp and same with sponges. Let's say yes there. Both always wet That makes sponges even where to wet in the little sobe so I think the wetness makes obviously makes both of them a little worse by. I think it makes the hands worse than the feet i. I'm still I think. The hands are untenable that point so if your feet are the thing that is wet and soapy you can't go anywhere without making everything wet. I mean that's true for you touch a lot of things with your hands you do but you can look if I go visit. Somebody's house. I could avoid touching pretty much everything you can. Just walk around like a fishbowl. Keep your hands in it. Yeah I mean. I don't think it'd be signed him. I don't I don't think they've not damp right fair but every walk. If you walk with the mop shoes you're gonNA leave probably a significant amount of water behind the sponges. You could get away with it like it'll be annoying like you could still do other things like grab shit with your elbows the or the back of your hands or something to not make a wet mess. Could you get really big boots so we gotta have them off on the bottom of the whatever? Okay all right. Yeah it's not like your bottom of your feet turn into mops it's like whatever the shoe or foot is yet always have like the massage sponge get dirtier to stay clean. Well it's always a little Sopian wet so I think it would get dirty. I think it would dirty overtime. Both get gross. I think I would rather have my feet bigger than my hands. Be Gross the not being able to go places at the one. That's getting me because you can't go into an office or get invited to somebody's house anymore. I feel like if you had dirty spungen in your hands. He put in Your House Anyway. But you could you could you could bring. It wouldn't be a disaster like shoes and they would come in. And then you're like please ops or the cat and then they walked wants to your living room and your whole fucking apartment is wet and soapy. Like you're just kicking them out. What if you only media only visit people who have tile hardwood floors and then it's Nice 'cause you mop for the carpets obviously bad but can you can you swap out the mobs to make them clean again or I guess you can wash them you can clean mops 'cause I imagine they're going to get pretty gross really fast? Yeah I see. They're all cleanable. Like if you go home and you shower you can kinda like just soak them with fresh new good water and new good soap and then they would get like they're gonna get dirty way faster than just normal shoe Yes GonNa be Gross Man. I just think okay. Maybe maybe it's time for us to decide what we want to do. Because I think 'cause I'm GonNa go I'm GonNa go go on record and say I think not being able to walk anywhere. Getting things wet makes you a public menace and although I think if it was just you living by yourself in your house you might prefer the feet as opposed to the hands. I think the impact on others is way worse for the so. I'M GONNA I'M GONNA go with sponge on hands. I would rather sponge on hands. I think I'd go rather mop on fee just because I want to be able to use my hands. He can't really. I mean I guess you can still do stuff with your hands. But he can't to like typing be pretty difficult. And you'd like ruin all your keyboard and stuff. There's also not like a touchscreen alive that you could use. Yeah that you're sponge is one of the electric capacity electro conduct but he tried to use use a touchscreen while your finger is a tiny bit wet. Antennas not were the worst does not work so even if it's capacity that doesn't matter by mop on your feet yes it's It makes a weird but you can still walk and walking is basically the only function you use with your feet so it doesn't really hinder you that much so I'm GonNa go with my feet. I think I'm also GONNA go mop on feet. I'm a little worried about like driving too. I feel like having switch pedals quickly with a slightly sophie. Mop Foot is going to be pretty dangerous. Pat Like you're going to be turning the wheel with your sponge hands. That's also pretty Dana and that's also dangerous. You're right yeah. I think that you can get like a A. They call it in the steering wheel. I like the handle anything. The handle that would that would help. But it's still like your hands slip off. Sometimes if do things quickly I it's it feels. It feels risky and yeah. They're just a lot of a lot of yet. He's your hands. A lot of hands are like I'm a multipurpose thing. Your feet are not a multipurpose thing but I can still say the one thing they do is very important. Well Yeah but you can still mostly do it. Just makes it a little harder tiny harder? Okay here's a hold on hold on a major surgery solved it. You just live in a wheelchair where the bottom of wheelchair with a feat is is just the bucket bucket wheelchair boom. We solve the hypothetical to switch your answer two feet. Maybe with that fucking Nagasaki August thinking guns. I think based on the hypothetical if you don't avoid the biggest problem of the wet feet which is the which is the getting everything wet and tripping and dying. I'd rather have the hands so I'm sticking to my guns and that's that that's my vote right if you are listener. Want to vote on our podcast. You're basically should look but aid. Contributions support the show is kind of like a vote. It's Kinda like vote for saying. Hey keep doing this podcast. It's great I love it. I want to support you so if you WANNA give us your one dollar vote you can go to. Www DOT patriots dot com slash of hypotheticals? Patriot we have just the one tier at one dollar. So you get everything was right now includes a special monthly behind the scenes episode. Where we go over the previous month questions how we make the show what we really thought of each other's answers and it's kind of a cool laid back Less formal kind of hang out if he's another word for meatless like do that all the time like every time you do this. Patriot pitch you like his casual laid back. I don't WanNa say casual yen laid back someday. Learn more words but in any case till free to join us next week where we answer the following question. How would you steal? Mona Lisa

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