Megan Gailey


Edible arrangements welcome to sports the podcasts. At end of the question mark is sprinkled. other question marks are sprinkled through. I have not written a thursday podcast intruding. We've been doing to pods and every thursday. I'm like well. It doesn't end with a question mark and start with a question and then i- riff and that's what you get a good old riff. It's thursday we have a guest today. That guest is meghan gaily to to disclaimers on this podcast number one. This was recorded a while ago. Not a long time ago but times a flat circle so i have no idea if it was a week or two weeks but it was the sunday. That meghan markle interview with oprah happened so it was a a sunday a while ago and then the other. Disclaimer is that I know these podcasts. Have been going deep on thursdays or whatever. They've gotten a little heavier introspective. This one is isn't that this is a very light fun. listen where mostly being sarcastic. Whole time and to be honest. I'm not thrilled with my performance here. I'm clearly trying to impress meghan. Because i want her to be my friend and I know she's very funny. And i do too much i think. Say a couple too many times Which may be. I'm just really familiar with. Because i went through to save travis the headache and gave him edit notes for this. Which is why you're listening to it later than usual on thursday but yet just ignore me Megan super funny and a great stand up comedian. You should check her stuff out and follow her on twitter We love her. She's great this is not a this person forever and i want to go deep. This is i want to know this person. And maybe i can use my podcast to con them into being friends with me. So you'll hear if that works. Hopefully its successful So here it is an a slightly old conversation with megan. Gaily megan gaily. How usually have been using this podcast to talk to people that i love already because i want my audience to get to know gum because a love them so much as people you think are going to be one of those people but we should be honest. We genuinely have not met like i have not. I consider you like an internet friend. But i also don't even know if you feel the same way about me while i consider you like i don't want to say i all because i think but like you know it's thrilling. It's like i feel like our relationship is a metaph we we've been we've met maybe some parties invived. Yeah and then you're like do you want to go out and i was like. Oh my god and now this is that day it so awesome to know because i feel like such like a dork judah guests it just feels so dumb but we did the other night. We did a spelling bee in in it. I was like nam. Egging gillies on me. I wanna talk to her. So that's just ask. i appreciate that. 'cause i went out kind of early in the spelling bees. We're smart. I just said that. Your name i said i wanted to be in second grade and i really was big for my damn britches and then i spelled fiduciary wrong. It's a tough word. I thought the spelling bee was going to be easier. Like i was like. Oh you guys are coming at this harder than i was expecting. So then i just got very drunk and high Which one does i guess. That's that's a way to win a spelling bee as well sure. Yeah you didn't lose. That's for sure i did. I did lose. I lost handily from emphysema. And you know what i would say the hardest way anyone has ever lost by empha- zima you've got far though i was like wow spelling. She's a genius. she's a genius. That's me. I'm very smart but anyways the point is i just wanted to ask you how your pandemic was going because you're a stand up comedian and i am kind of observing. How a stand up comedian is coping with the pandemic. Because i have one here. i also imagine everyone situation's different. What's it been like for you who you know it's been it's like it's so wild to even look back on the experiences that i've done on zoom like i was. We were messing planning this. I told you. I'm hung over from zoom wedding crazy. I i went to a zoom wedding and then i was like i'm gonna act like i'm at a wedding and yes no drunk. We were my husband. And i and then like our friends. You know we feel safe being around. We're doing karaoke. And there's quotes in our home with not plugged in microphones screaming when we were young by adele. So like we acted we got blacked out basically and but then for this wedding we did a zoom bachelorette party the week before and there was a stripper on zoot. Shut up. that's awesome. Yeah it was and look. I don't actually even love. Male strippers schorr And then getting to be in a male strippers home with him. Such a fascinating in different experience. I mean i saw billy rocks kitchen. I like it was really tidy. And he had a blessed sign. I didn't i didn't want to know his interior decor style. I don't need it'd be. They need to know that. Like okay if you're a nice looking kitchen. I'm just going to be looking at that. I say oh happy for you doing whatever you're doing in the foreground. Yeah i focus is going to be on why you chose dish towels or what you're back splashes on the net one point he's like are going to take a shot. Let me see if my roommate has any only with. This man took us pantry. It was like and there's not a world where that them not a world where that would happen. Non pants only so. There's been great experiences. I mean i think it's my husband is obviously trapped in this house with me trying to be a stand up and i've been doing a lot of zoom shows like that is how mentally ill. I am how much. I need you. Look. it's a thing where you're all anybody who does what you do for a living is is looking for something in some way. I mean it's after for anybody. Who does anything for a living but not to get too broad but i feel like the zoom sing. Don't beat yourself up about doing that. You don't have a mental illness because of that you're doing your job. Your job went away. that's terrifying. yeah. And all i need is to talk you know like i do not need anything like laughter is truly an added bonus but it's not always there and so people are like i can't be on zoom silent. I'm like oh my a standup has always felt catastrophic. You know like it does not need an audience. Needs me being awake. And so i been able to do it like all. Come out in my room feel like my office. Being like who am my husband will. Just look at me. And be like whoa. You're really giving it your all. They're like i performing to the back of the computer and he's like not noise complaints. No well we actually. The one noise completely got was during the browns steelers playoff game because my husband said the backyard and then he invited three browns fans who are mentally ill and they were like screaming screaming like an eighty year. Old mexican man had to be like. Are you guys okay. What's happening over there. But no other than that. We just have deep. We have a deep voice in this house. we need to do in radio shows for a couple of hours a day. Know the wall. There is shared with a small child on the other side. And like we're going to have to just watch what you say allowed me. Say yeah like real wall either should be. Okay okay use for these walls to be as bad as they are. But we've gotten we've got like a nice christmas note from a neighbor and we were like. Oh that's awesome in. All it was was christmas card that basically inside only said please stop. We can hear everything you say after nine thirty pm so just like say quieter but was there a picture of them on it too but that would have been only read. It would've been fully instead of still kind of hurts still just feels me. Wow they had to like hers and it was like no. We've actually been terrible neighbors in your own home and then you feel like you have to be quiet and whispered each other. And you're like yeah. I feel uncomfortable. I have no freedom. Swear my free where at least luckily in a three bedroom house and complaints. It's incredible. I don't know what we would be way the beloved driveway. We have your didn't have a fire. Pit really iran's we but it's next level. And i could be around my husband all the time and he cannot be around me. I think it's yeah it's similar that's similar we kind of trade. There'll be days where i'm like can't with this with what you're doing here. I cannot how long were you guys together before the good dress. A very very good question worth asking We went on our first date october. Okay selects six months. Yeah yeah yeah but six months out of like being on the road having a television show name on it so they were very busy six months. That like so. We got married three months before. Oh my so. I've only been married in this. And what a joy the honeymoon stage. It's amazing and we spent our first nine months of our relationship long distance. He was in new york. I was here and then even when we lived in the same place. I was gone shock all the time. Yes we have never been like. We're one of those couples that has to have a rule with like how long we can go without seeing each other because he was always like birthdays all star game. We always things that we had that we were not going to be around each other. And now it's constant around each other and it's affected him more negatively than me for sure. Hi it's me again. Quick quick break for meghan to tell you the today's podcast is brought to you by brooklyn Look life is too short to sleep between anything less than really nice sheets. I've always said that my grandpa said that. But you know maybe you looked at some retailers and calculated the years of interest. You'd pay on just one set and gave up Just trust me. Go checkout brooklyn and it was started by rich in vicky who i assume or two people but imagine a food to dogs Were trying to find beautiful home essentials. That didn't cost an arm and a leg and when they couldn't they found at brooklyn as the first direct to consumer betting company they work directly with the manufacturers and they make luxury available directly to you without all the luxury level markups. It seems logical. I mean less profitable for them but nicer and logical for us. I sleep on brooklyn and sheets. I like them They have a variety sheets colors patterns materials to fill your needs and tastes. They have over fifty thousand five star reviews and counting. Because you wouldn't want to put a cap on that people might still be saying that they love it and they're so confident that you're gonna love their products. They'll even offer a three hundred sixty five day money back guarantee so. I guess it's like a your money back guarantee but they wanna cover themselves. If it's a leap year you're going to have to that extra days gonna cost ya Also brooklyn and is so much more than sheets they have comforters pillows towels and even lounge wear i own a bathrobe. They have like a waffle bathrobe. A got it in a light grey Genuinely just because. I wanted a bathrobe and they didn't send it to me and i don't even think i use my promo code because it felt icky so i just paid for it and i love it. It's very very comfortable. I miss it so much. Because i'm in la What else do i have to tell you. Go to brooklyn and dot com and use promo code nolan to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars more plus free shipping boy. I really should use that. Promo code that's b. r. o. o. k. l. i n. e. n. dot com and enter promo code nolan to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars or more plus free shipping brooklyn dot com promo code nolan. I keep saying it and it feels like i'm being made fun of for not doing so so make sure you do so and now back to making gaily i was a i was a bartender and waitress and there was this restaurant in chicago called ed bev where the whole point is like the wait staff mean to you like. That's the dick's last. Did boston and people always want me that. I acted like i worked there. I was at a regular restaurant. I got the exact same feedback. I i'm not kidding there. Like have you ever thought about working at dick. And while i didn't know what that meant and then when i found out what it meant i was like excuse you from years ago. That was very very rude. My criticisms are funny and also true. These just mean yeah. And like when i would be mean to tables it would be them trying to figure out in front of me what they wanted and i go. Why don't you just let me know. And it's like i don't like to do too. I thought might be hard tape. Let's go i. I was being constructed and ed's they're just like sit down and shut up. And i was like you're being you should stop being. I think that is good. Customer service with you. See like i thought i was telling you that you have your back turned to me once. You finally got my attention as the bartender in. You're asking your friends what they want to drink. And i would argue. You could used ten minutes when you couldn't get my attention to ask your friends what they wanted to drink. Then you go to dicks and they put a hat on your head. That's like to get into the community college. The sun even true. That's and that's people need to be learning lessons. If you mean to you can build on. You can improve. I'm giving you little bits of wisdom for free free. So i woke up today and i had people over for the first time yesterday in a year. No one's been in this apartment since we got a dog with watching my dog look and other people and be like people can come in here. Oh can come in here. She was so excited. It was just like a joyous note of the simplest thing that a ago would have felt like a night. you're gonna forget about would've been like what losers it was happy occasion. We're like we had to fix the second toilet because we don't be here when you like this beautiful day and then today woke up tired. And then i i Might have gone to the gym. And then i then. I started realizing i was like. Oh this is too much and i really do actually have to ask nagging questions. So he's a scaled it back a bit but we'll what when those things hit. We'll go for a ride together. I'm ready we're like meeting at your coming down on coming up at some point we're going to me and then fish will start playing. Yeah that'd be that know this song. I'd love to help her with this. But my mind is blank. I might make noises. I wasn't sure. I'm like. I know the kids from my high school. That are not doing well up them. So they're the they're the bad and that popped in my head high. Who were you in high school. I was like a patty simcox lake super goody goody i was a virgin but one prom queen so you know like a nice look. I was like a chunky virgin prom queen home. I am not religious so it's like my parents. My parents had a go and so that helps me. That definitely verner. That's gonna put you over the edge. And i had a huge ask like a i look at pictures of it all the time. My high school acid. I'm like i can't even believe my parents let me leave out so giant. What pants were we wearing. Then was that was that. Yeah so those weren't great ass pants back. I all nylex skinny friends. They were wearing. Those pants zipped up the back with the jeans zipped up the back they were from this like host store called pattaya. The i couldn't even fit in but i've never even thought that way. Which is. Where are you from indiana indiana. It was just a host indianapolis and then there was one in bloomington. Because if you went to are you you needed to be a longer you know. But at purdue where. I wet not enough hose so we did not get the whole store up there right. There was no. It's like we want to be too but just because we have astronauts we don't get to be but we found other ways we still found. I had that evolution of like didn't drink really good grades always doing the right thing. I was class president. Like it's like annoying. I would've bullied me like old. Would bali young me who you were at my high school and if we were friends was your high school big. Yeah i every time. I've said that confidently. I think. Dan's high school was gigantic. And i was like mine. Wasn't that big. But i wanna see. My graduating class was five hundred kids. Definitely that's huge. That's bec- it doesn't seem like that can't be right. We have had five hundred kids because only with two numbers Something there is really hard to count my high school. We start with eight hundred and then we graduated like five fifty. Oh damn we lost a lot. We lost a lot of soldiers. Along the way one out we would get. We would get kids from there was like a bad high school. Not bad just like the my his goes bad too but there was another bad high school clothes and a kid will get expelled from there and then they come to our high school and a kid. We get expelled from our high school. We were just trading the worst kids back and forth and it was so fun with my crazy high schools. Just did something about it. Instead of trading them back and forth. What in the world is going on in indiana Not not good education. It's very not very good college education which is very surprising to have so many good universities but on like a public school level. I don't think i don't actually. I don't think the private schools are killing it either. Pay like twenty thousand dollars in their private school in rural indiana. You're canadian at one of the weirdest things about being older now is having to look at school differently and having to look at like school the way our parents i mean. Obviously that's what's going to happen when you get older. But instead of looking at school as well i don't know. Is it a cool looking school. Is it in fun. Place it now. It's like well. How do they teach math. Caught having kids must be so stressful. I i would i ll. I want them actively trying to get pregnant. Right now are you. Do you wanna talk about this. Because i would love to talk about. I'm more than happy. I'm going to sort of this. Like wild chain post high school. I became like a wild in college and you went to a school whose mascot is a shot a beer but yeah how does that yes. I'm trying to get pregnant turned to become a mother i are you. How do you know how were you. What gave it away. What made you decide. I m a nanny like. I love babies. I really always have. And i just want i really like my husband. He's very good job. And i'm really really selfish and like you know got some narcissism sprinkled in and so it'll i could really get up. You know it could really poorly. But i think it will. I think it will make me better a better person being aware of it. Yeah just not thinking about like my number. One thing is myself. You know like something happens. I'm like what am i gonna do. What's mega truly it. All about me no matter what you could tell me everyone in your family died. It'd be like crazy. I have to do the podcast with her. Today that's where my brain goes. So it's like i should probably shouldn't have kids but i'm hoping i'd love to be sober for ten months. That seems funny. And right now without a kid i don't think so. I think it's gonna stick something. I'm interested in louisville. Stick when i also just the image of being just hugely pregnant and getting to do stand up and be crazy. Think will be fun to really ought to stand up with the baby strapped to me like i want to. I'd like to push the boundaries of what people are comfortable with with motherhood. I'm into that just like a full on. I mean people what was it was the first did it pregnant and then i feel like somebody did did her. That's right yeah. It was like no examples. Joan rivers and i don't know if i want to have melissa has my daughter so you gotta make sure you don't. That's going to take work. Gotta make sure you don't have melissa. Yeah because like having a spouse that's like depending on your career is one thing but having a child that said like oh. My thing is being my parents kid. It's like oh no that's not melissa. I think stole runs. Jones instagram account. And it makes home in. That's to be like psychologically difficult to do of like the burden of keeping your mom alive after your mom millions and yet for a lot of people who like. She meant a lot to a lot of people. I think about her especially with the way the world has been since she died. I'm like we really need her. She really i think she could have really because she she would say stuff about a former man that could hurt him is mean and want to call him broke in poor an ugly in a way that no one else could like ran out on. Yeah yeah. I remember when she died. My the first thing i thought was like man. I wish i could seen the joke. Joan rivers would have written about joan rivers being dead. I was like man. It would have been way too soon but it would have been funny. We all want to gotta admit that was really funny. I have a hot mama. Oh that's tough i. I have a very very cute mom. Well your kill me for saying that. She probably like. I'm a hot mom. My mom is jim. Now how will your mom is nurse. Sixty to me. She sixty but i guess she's. She's pretty close to seventy eight hundred fifty five hold as my mom was born in fifty five to does that mean they are. They're they're sixty six damn. Yeah and so. They're cute now. Yeah now my mom was always pretty cute. A fat asmaa got to. She's i didn't which i'm annoyed by own life. I was like gimme a curve. Any curve i am just a straight frigging and i know that sounds like okay. What at you're like skinny but like non there's no form to me. I have no form not even head. Nice no hips. They go straight forward and usually you would get that from your mom you guy. Have you think once. I walked out in a bathing suit many times but in front of my grandmother editor. Who didn't really like me. And i walked out beating suit in front of her. And she goes such a shame of your mother's body worlds or women op to before us like sometimes i hear stuff that people's grandma's or mothers said and like look i get it because i work in sports and i've had to look ahead at the women before me who were the first to break in and forgive them for a lot of things that i think they're come up taught them of la. I've got a treat other women as competition. And i have to try to be the only one i forgive them for that because it was the you know their product of their time and they were pitted against each other and it wasn't really weren't just they don't actually care. They don't want it to be that way but it was the way it was and the five and i get that we want to grandma's and a lotta moms but it sometimes just like to say it's a shane. You got your mother's figure. Who does that help eleven. Oh and i truly was like oh my god. I think. My mom's got like offended for me. I was like offended for peggy. I'm like your mom's name is peggy. That makes perfect. Yeah yeah but i just feel like women hegi deal where she what's. What was her life like you know. She met my dad and fifth grade. Damn together then. But they've known each other and even know geometry yet they just took math like their classes hadn't even started being specifically named and they were in. They were like in the fifth grade class. My dad had a thing for her. She did nothing for him and then he just kinda waited until they were in their twenties assistance till they weren't there that other girls. I mean it's not dissimilar. Cj and i we my husband and i. We were friends for eight years before we started dating. And i'm always like did you love me. Then and he. Since i'm crazy he has to go. I've loved you since you were a baby. Oh that's not well. I mean we knew each other for a couple of years. And i had him on my show a couple times. We kept kinda running each other. And then you know and i always was like hell. Yeah this guy's awesome. He's like not difficult he doesn't hit on me. There's no weird anything. He's got a call voice yet. Oh my god is voice. Her voice like he can do other people's voices. he is great impression. He respects me. Like i'll have this dude on any show. I don't care if he's promoting nothing. In what my brain wasn't realizing that my brain was like you love him. I think you might love him at might be a good one to just try that door. Open it see what's inside but instead we like you. I so we we talk about this all the time now. Where did you see so fun. And he was like yeah. Of course i did. But it's like part of the reason that it works now is because i loved him so much because he never made that never laying on being good on your show and i'm doing your show a lot because i want you to have sex with me. Which have made me completely. Shut the door and been like whoa all thanks. He was just so cool about it that now when he tells me he had a crush on me or like there was one point. We had a girlfriend that he was like. I probably would have. But i wasn't. Because i have girlfriend but then it's it's just funny to look back at it now and be like man. Thank you for not a leading with that. I really appreciate you not leading with that in. its very. i couldn't do that. You know like i mean. Shoot your shot. What men are taught to. But there's people were probably two of them. Were like you need the space who come to the realization on your own and then a little slow on the uptake of person liking me because my whole childhood. That was not really it. A people didn't really do that. When did you have your first boyfriend. Oh well i mean. It doesn't really count. i would say in middle school. Maybe like seventh grade. This jeremy green and i dated but then he broke up with me in my valentine's day he was like i don't think we should date anymore and i was like we'll do fine but couldn't you tell me tomorrow. Look why do you ever cards. That are nice. Oh that's a really good question. yeah colli vicious. It's hard. it's the thing i never put together. But it's when favorite things about. Dan is when he makes me a card. I'm like the things right in here are very genuine and very nice. Now i appreciate them and he's probably like that's what a card is lady but that's not what most people i didn't actually like me. Cj rights really nice cards when we were long distance. He sent me a postcard every day for seventeen days and like different things he like loved about me on them and i was like own. He varied it. You know it was like not chose like your delusion you know it was all just like your lust and love of my life and he wrote really nice things and i was. I don't think i've ever written any nice off. Eilly face meghan. And so now. I like right and he taught that that's the best. I'm also realizing that. The reason that i don't think people. I don't assume people like me because of a thing i've known has been the meanest prank ever pulled on me but i never really process what it probably did to my life when i was in when i was in middle school my good friend at the time quote unquote. I had a crush on this guy. And i had. I mean everybody kinda knows. A tragic middle school haircut had very very short hair and it was at the same time that i had braces in italian so i had a little bit of light hair. Sideburn action that. I definitely didn't need and have been taken care of but wasn't and you weren't missing any of it because my hair was short so there is nothing to hide behind a exposed to young point. Is i had a crush on this guy who was like one of the funny cool guys and my friend. he like. They had him tell me to like meet him at the cafeteria because he wanted he and my friend had broken up and he wanted to ask me to dance so i met in the middle of the cafeteria to be asked to this dance and then he. This was the meanest insult if you grew up when we grew up psych. He said sino my friend. Abby came up from wherever she was hiding at the lunch walked off with him. they hadn't really broken up. I just got totally host into being embarrassed at the lunchroom so now when somebody's like i have a crush on you. Don't go away forever until you prove it prove that you're nice that's like that's like a scene in a movie that your kids aren't this mean and the fact that the that he was dating your friend and then he was like we're not even broken up. That's like a a tag that the tag on a prank. That was already mean enough. Yup thank you for understanding. It feels so good to get that off my chest. I would do a lot of there were just so many megan's i'm sure they're jokes. About how many friends. Katie i had and i would get and there were even in college. There was a meghan in my sorority. So hot like the hottest sorority was meghan and it would be tough because people would constantly being like. Oh my goodness so hot and it was not about me it's also like when you're on the bachelorette and you look around and you see hot meghan and you're like i guess i'm meghan us know you're going to have to have your last initial because gets to keep meghan exactly and it was. You know i mean. I love talking about how hard it was in my sorority. It was definitely ising to be the fat meghan in the sorority. I get it. I get it. I told her brothers and they're very very very smart funny. They were like the coolest boys that went to my high school. It was very hard following in their footsteps. I can really one but okay. Yeah it's i mean whenever i meet people and then they're like oh you of older brothers. I'm like yeah that makes sense mini. It does eight. that's an insult. Thank you know it's not it's a compliment. I think it's i think sometimes it's both you know. Yeah i mean everything is if you think about it. That's true. And so when i started doing standup it was kind of like the first time that i was doing something different than them. And and like a few years into it. I was like they had come to a show. I was drunk. I was obviously like feeling myself. I'm like i'm just so sorry. That like i do stand up so you guys like can't now and they were like we would never want to do you do. This is an embarrassment. That i mean one's a lawyer oh god And is running illinois as like vaccine program doing well or he's in the national guard to. He's like a home. I know and we're not derek and family. Were not even that nice to him. He he ran for state senate one twenty nine and i forget it all the time. Short of he's not people are like. Why isn't he on any social media. I'm like oh. He ran for public office. I forgot oh my god. I know we're mean to him. We're to him because it makes he makes us like feel bad. You know like yes. We'll definitely a a joke about this. Where like on memorial on my parents. My grandparents were in the armed services. May like grandma and grandpa met during world war two. You know like like that. And i say because then he left her for a nineteen year old to it. Didn't didn't pearl harbor workout antic as we like to make i mean it's it's real very real. I'm we're always like on veterans day like we thank them and then we're like oh and ryan thank you to you should go to outback. Or whatever and get a free blooming onion and then he will send us articles about his friends. That have perished really ruining our but what do you want me to say. My friend didn't gig. They tried to get last week and that was sad for all of us. I've i've lost some some soldiers along the wages a casual drug use. It's never defending the freedom And then my other brother he's a realtor. Alright well the league in all of them. What does your brother. He's he's in It's i always call it. Marketing bump resorts ad sales. He's in digital ad sales. Okay which he's very very good at but my brother is like my brother growing up was the golden child. He was so good at everything. He was good enough at hockey that he went to private school like he. I went to public school. I go my god. You went to a difference hoping he went to like an all boys. Private school and i went to premium high. Because i was like. I don't know. I wanna have like high school movie experience. We why did. I want that sucked you got. You got bullied in the cafeteria. Oh god that was middle school but middle. School was the worst hands including middle school. Worst time of six seventh and eighth grade. I can pinpoint and just seventh grade like there isn't an amount of money that someone could pay me to go back if i told anyone that i was friends with from seven grade happy and i mean i think we all i told my brother this recently. My brother's like. I thought you were popular all your life. What are you talking about the any attention my house. You see egged in high school every weekend it was. We're thinking of you exactly. And they fed sometimes because they throw the eggs and they wouldn't Crack because they were southern so that free. They're dropping off pantry. Item it was like jordache swap food delivery. Why were they egging your house. I think it originally started because my house was like on a corner of a street right across from the middle school so it was like give direction to find where my house was and I had mohammed was a bartender and a dad who worked late and when or when he would go on business trips to like he's going to huntsville alabama We i would have parties and at my house and so I would tell kids. I didn't know they couldn't come. Because i'm like i don't know you and you can't come into my house. And then they started egging my house and then it just became like once enough people do it and it happens enough times. It's like oh we will go. Ed katie's house would make scrub it off the house every time. Wake me up and be like your friends. Egg the house again. I'm like how. Can i tell you these friends. They're not my friends not only. They're not my friends when clean it. They drive by and get exactly what they were looking for. Wars of this is really torture. My brothers were like bad. They were you know they were like cool. Bad they were sneaking out all the time and so they kept getting blamed for things once they were like a woman came in was like your sons drove through my yard and my dad was my sons are twenty seven th. They didn't do that. They live in chicago and she was like okay. Well they they taught someone to do it then because they've left their mark. That was me. I was troublemaker. My brother was a good kid but he was. He was just very good at like not getting in trouble. I just had to argue all the time my parents were always like. You need to get the last word. And i'm like yeah because you you're wrong and i'm right. There's an injustice. I was so good. My brother called the cops on my parents once. Yeah i would have been. I wouldn't have seen the light of day. He so he called the cops once and then like never mind and then he called again was never mind and they were like well. Dog you call twice. We have to send your car now and my parents just to hide in the basement they were like. We don't even wanna get you involved. Which is plus one nice. Because god forbid they check the basement and then they have to explain whether some kid down there might the reason. My brother called the police because he said my parents were holding them hostage to my house. He wouldn't was he. He was like sixteen. Is this oldest brother. No this isn't even my oldest my oldest brother. He was gone by that point and then it was like i think at that point my parents. I think were like okay. We we can handle this. Megan will be good and watch jeopardy with us. Michael whom i got. He's gonna smoke a thousand cigarettes in the next week but like we can find him but then it was like without my other brother there to beat him up. He was like a superhero powerful. You know like he was like i will be superb bad and and was just. I don't even know about like when you get older and you find out like we what happy. Yeah but my oldest brother heated a relief up. I wasn't really. I didn't really drink but my brothers went to college. They went to the same school. So i would go visit them and then they would be like you can drink with us. You know. we'll show you like the right thing. And so the first time ever drank or smoked weed was visiting my brothers and then my oldest brother. I went to visit him during the summer session. And i was in communion. We'd that was fun. Like i love taking fourteen young. We can we please smoke weed and so he thought no maybe it was fifteen or sixteen so he got me weed and then i wouldn't let him borrow my car like a few weeks later and he wrote my parents a letter back. I had made him by me. We'd shots up. My best friend still has not forgiven him. Like she'll see him and be like hi la- realtor the lawyer lawyer. I'm realizing too. So it's sunday. I've said this a million times but it's in thirteen minutes is like game. Twelve minutes no i. It should be the all star game. 'cause we're in a podcast called sports. The thing i've noticed that the internet is consumed by today is an interview. When l'opera yaha and meghan markle. I didn't know this was like we don't have a lot of events left in the internet. Willingly everybody's tuning in to discuss and like the all star games missing a bunch of dudes because we're still in a pandemic. I forgot again. But it's like a like i wonder if making dailies like super into the royal family. I know people are i. Don't judge i'm just not. I told you this break before we got on. I'm now doing a podcast for the lifetime network and we watched harry and meghan lifetime movie this week and so there was a lot that i didn't know like i love a theme for anything. So whenever they're getting married and people are like. Here's a cocktail fascinating. I'm like fun. i'll come get drunk and a hat. Whatever but diana was obviously very devastating to my white mom. And they knew diana like we are diana. And i'm like yes you do not listen more diane. But it like jfk junior diana. I'm like ooh they are in. My mom's family does really upset. But i i. I'm into them being bad and me being on meghan markle's side. Yeah i yeah. I've been loving. Everyone's really mad at bethany frame. Call today and that has been fun. Yes my mom loved bethany. i think I saw a tweet that ended up pretty well. But i really don't remember who wrote it and that makes me feel like a jerk but i'm going to say it anyway. Somebody was like bethany. Frankel always looked like the sane one when she was surrounded by worse it easy to be tricked into being like bethany tells it like she like it is. They got her in the real world. Say something in your. That's not what it is fascinating. That's not what at all but next to ramona singer. It looks like a good person. Like oh and then the later seasons I fell off. Because i was just like a. I don't know. I don't know any of these people are anymore but i bet people started to notice that she's like I dunno she's just people that are two into their themselves. It's never going to work for you like if you're so in yourself you cannot see another person's experienced consider that maybe you shouldn't talk on that issue. In that way. Ethnic problem was that she went through all this stuff and nobody cared and now somebody else is going through it. And she's like the girl from suits instead of recognizing that it's not the girl from suits. It's a person women of color to have made it into the royal family to then yeah right away. Who's about to. Ls by and she's like i she's from suits and now she's famous and it's like okay. I mean that's the exact same ascension to fame. You know you you are an f. Version of her. Her only comes apparently jealous. And like yes girl. I was going to be with harry to you know like we all saw harry not lose his hair like what's up but we're not with hairy so we and bethany is always only being critical of women of color. Yes and so like all girl. She dated megan's ex sedate stuff. Yes he was like no thanks and now she just transparently. Should i could mark all the time. You clearly want. What she's had or has can't have it and that upsets you. We see you stop. Yeah why are you so mad about wop. Oh hi there may again. Yup that means it's time for an ad read This episode sports okayed known as brought to you by you guessed at full sail university. Is dan patrick school. Sportscasting listen legendary. Sportscaster dan patrick has teamed up with full sail university to offer an accelerated. Bachelor's degree in sportscasting. Have you guys heard about this. It's pretty crazy Fulfil university combines hands on learning immersive projects and faculty with real world experience to prepare students for life in the media industry and for the dan patrick school sportscasting. They brought in some of the best of the best to be a part of this program not yours truly but you know maybe it's an email address. I don't check anymore. Maybe they sent an email to that. And i just haven't seen it egg on my face but the ones they did get longtime espn producer and multi. Time emmy winner gus ramsey. Who's heading up the program and then sportscasting pros like sage steele nicole. Briscoe j harris and many more are involved In this program students will learn sportscasting inside and out. I feel like you guys can recite the things that they'll learn by now but in case you've forgotten it's on camera behind the camera. Podcasting radio interviewing and then everything. I haven't said everything in between at fulfil universities. Dan patrick school sportscasting. You can earn a bachelor's degree in about half the time a shortest twenty months and you can choose to earn your degree online or unfulfilled campus. In orlando florida so to learn more about sail universities. Dan patrick school sportscasting. There's not much more to learn. I think we've covered it all but if you wanna learn more and you wanna sign up and you wanna be like legendary sportscaster. Dan patrick go to full. Sail dot edu slash colon. Okay dactyl megan. What's the podcast for lifetime. Are you talking about lifetime movies because too subscribers in this house because dan has gotten super in the lifetime movies during your hosts it with this other comedian naomi paragon. Who is truly one of the funniest and we watch a different lifetime movie every week and then talk about it as mean or as funny as we're allowed to give in the fact that lifetime paying off i was gonna say sometimes it keeps you from being honest. They're they're actually. They're cool there yet. There was one movie that we because they will. They let us stay wherever thinking as you were talking earlier and saying certain things Nausea really fun but he. Spn's gonna take most of this. I mean all the whatever is it whatever gets on the cutting room floor for this and all of my two thousand seventeen two thousand eighteen. Espy's jokes we can just put into a folder. And and that just patriotic on. You can read all of the things i had to say. They that finale. We're not gonna put on the air you know you're one of the only people who can relate specifically to my struggle of working here if like getting the joke that's funny enough. Yeah but isn't to anything else to get on areas pin. They would like call the people that we were making jokes about and tell them the job. Stop i that's so that's a real hidden secret. Oh my god. I wish i could go back to not knowing that my feelings and i think it truly was operating from a place of like. We don't wanna make anyone mad. Sure that's how you handle things you can be like. Hey i'm gonna say something really mean. Is that okay. Because when they're like no it's not okay. You're got it. I stand for nothing. I'll delete it. And then there were. There were athletes that would call and say. Can you guys write a joke about me. Do you remember anyone sue remember. Yeah i mean te'o for sure that's the least surprising name you could give me. I wanted something like he wants to move a seat up player. We gotta make a joke about. Even though it couldn't be less topical couldn't hasn't played in seven years. Listen and like. I remember payton like i can't say this about te'o and we really actually ask for you to say this. Yeah so don't worry. He actually wrote it himself so he wants it. I will get in trouble at the nfl for things. I didn't even think. I was gonna get in trouble for just even saying like The most innocuous thing about jerry jones and then they'd be like jerry jones. It's your boss. And i'm like okay. It's like the is he. How can he be everyone's boss and if he's my boss why haven't we met. Performance review remelted. Hr issues also. I'm not saying anything. The my boss doesn't already now. My boss care debate attention. My boss would understand that. What i'm saying is pretty accurate about loss. Not my bosses. Team is under five hundred. I did make up to him. I'm saying back there. You can't be mean to you. Basically and it's like he doesn't care he does care. We don't have to care that he cares. Why does he care. Somebody just has to look at him and go. Hey mr jones sir. You can't care about this. You've got a lotta carabello. This isn't it. Just laugh at this and let people laugh at this. It'll benefit you in the long run. You just mr being villain. I wonder it's not good. I like it can't be fun to know. Everybody doesn't like me but that would be adding a act like it is though maybe they don't know maybe that's why they don't like jokes about them because they're like don't confront me with both sides. I'd rather just pretend they weren't. They're my best friend. Like my best friend from growing up is very mean and i have tried to cut her out probably and she you know she refuses and she will. She's like she'll never she is mean to me still. It will always be now. And why like i don't go well. She had very difficult childhood and then had to help raise her siblings and is a nurse and just like lived and like always has chew cores. Lightbulb open in her hand and we'll like fight to jail for fighting will come. Yeah i mean is wild and she will just look at me and be like that. Looks like you know or like you thought. That joke was good. That was bad. I was i was opening for For anthony justice for a while but we were in indian so like friends came wearing a anthony green room and he's not a diva but he likes things how he likes things as anyone who has their own green room and gets to ask. What's in there is going to feel. And she comes back after the show. I don't know who let her back. Just walks fully back into the green room. It's talking about. Somebody takes two beers out of the fridge. Go find your parents and anthony looks at me. And he's like that is the greatest person i've ever seen in my yanking what she's a tornado. She's just so mean and scary and very fun to don't wanna undersell her but she just will go to ball in the same trip to chicago. The train we were on caught on fire gone fair and the door slammed close. This is this was a great day in history. The door slammed close. She pride the doors open with her bare hands and then we went to a white sox game and she got in a fight with this guy was dating his friend he brought and she was so mad at him that she made him go. Sit someplace else in the stadium. Oh my god. I love i love and hate. I wanna hug her. What i wanna do is hug her We were watching zoom wedding yesterday and someone texted us. You're not on you. And my life flash. Before my i had been talking shoe mad like mad mad mad. 'cause we had been checking were mute right. We're muted okay. we're muted and then like some setting changed and we got unmuted and so then we meet. I was like could you hear me. And they were like no. You're good but like they could just hear that we were not muted. But could i mean. I was talking about like not the wedding. But like a fam- people's families. Oh god what was the pandemic wedding like still blast. It was in their backyard. I think a lot of ways it ends up in being easier for people. Because you're going to be five people and i'm not going to have to deal with xyz of everything that you have to deal with it. I don't think she groped her husband's computer. I wouldn't or maybe she. It's more likely that she did because the computer was like actually needed for a wedding. Yeah but it was. I mean i've done soon. I've multiple zoom funerals at this point really. Yeah i've had tuesday funerals to weddings soon batra pretty i did zoom intervention. Jesus you do all of it. I've done a lot of gym. I thought i was on a lot of zoom. But it's mostly just been like trivia night and some like jack box game. I haven't done any that's tough. Yeah the zoom funerals of were crazy. We're pretty crazy. 'cause it just feels achey like you're just like i'm it's just very disconnected and the point is like to be connected. Yeah you're just sitting in your home for one of them. I was just sitting in my home. Sobbing doesn't even like i'm like crying. One zoom funerals. I went to there were a lot of famous people in it and it was insane zealand. Same because you're like scanning it rose seven like he's so upset it was it was like like took a picture of someone on it like it was it was it was real. It was really like. And i know this is what do people say but it was like a black mere episode. Yeah i'm still. I'm like devastated and grieving. But like my weird instincts are still there too. There's a famous person and and you're all crying and your cameras are on and then you're like in a chat. It's just it's not. It's not how it should be breathing. So if every you shouldn't be able to see everyone's face during funeral you're supposed to be looked. You're all supposed to be looking forward but in this situation like looking forward to seeing and it's like if a funeral happened in everyone invited stood at the front and faced a. It's not about. It's not supposed to be about that but it's impossible instinctively not like that person looks like. They're faking crying person's not even being own. Yeah when are you going back out onto the road. You have stuff on the horizon now. The answer to this can be no. I don i really i. I started doing outdoor shows here like those have only reopened in the last few weeks and even did one this week where i was like people are behaving in a way that makes me uncomfortable. You know like. I don't know when i'll do when all travel for stand up again. Do you miss. It does any part of you. Miss it or that part of it. No i definitely was. I got to the point where i hate it. I just was not enjoying being on the road. Like i was like. I really am having a nice time doing stand up in l. a. I'm now writing professionally. Like i feel kind of zapped anyways that i don't want to travel on of work. I'm already doing so. I did start to resent it. And when i was opening like i was with anthony for like two years. And we're staying at the ritz. Like anthony is hooking it up. And then when i'm by myself it's like i'm in a condo in wisconsin like car. This isn't what i remembered. And so i just started to turn on it but now i'm like what i would give out a condo in wisconsin freight. That's like dan. You know had a couple of weekends a couple of had to cancel and then like one he went. He went to salt lake city. He came back had cova. We didn't find out too late. I got covid in saw so bad. And i was like look. You're either gonna give me covert or like you're going to go insane in this apartment. You have not gone this long without doing that in for years like it's then you're at it's been your life so of course you're going a little stir crazy without it and you needed to go. I knew the risks were both okay. We got over it. But it was just like i feel so bad that every time he needed to go do the thing that satisfies his life and his drive it was like he had to risk that he was gonna get me sick and then it happened of on my birthday. No this one is poorly for you as it could of. Wow i mean thank god. You didn't die. I said to me you better start hoping that. I don't have this bad and that my asthma from my childhood is no longer round because for him. He's like that's. Hbo special number to get annoyed. That could probably sell that one. Get even a netflix. For me stand up is such a lake. it's how i grieve. it's how i process. I didn't realize that and is embarrassing. But it really helps me deal with so much and to not have that at like one of the scariest times has been almost like debilitating. Yeah oh. I don't know how to do anything without this other thing that helps me clean of be normal person. Yeah like i have to get it out. Watch what people how they react to it and then like oh figure out you know where i go with that. Yeah that's like me. i'm like big life events. Big things that happened in the news that affect everybody like us might work to understand them better. Like oh i can do a deep dive and write about this. That's how i understand. Things is by writing about them. And then when i like pandemic hits i don't really have. They don't have a show anymore. And i'm just like sitting here. All these big events are happening like black lives matter things happening. And i'm like. I can't process any of this because i have nothing to write about it for so then i just at one point was like screw. It can start writing into a google doc and save at their helped. Yeah and i think at some point you'll be fast. That's what standup is. you know. it's really just a time capsule of how you're expressing yourself at that time. Yeah so now. You should do an hbo special. Hello down can never never if not how you guys do it. But i absolutely love watching you do. It's my favorite thing. I've always just loved watching stand ups. And i'm like i'm me. No but you hell it. I i think it would be so a truly. I tell whenever. I want to do it. I'm like please don't do it. Don't you know people are told. They should do it. It's just people default that too early. Somebody's kind of funny. Like you should do stand up to you. Don't know about stand up and you can tell the stand ups that we're told that too much because it's always just this very confident men now are just bill truly the least funny people you've ever been around your life and it's like how did you get here like just l. Typically aim in my mind hoping that you have the exact same very specific name in your mind but for the sake of probably you more than me. We just won't say it. There's i have like twenty people in my mind an women in my mind but that do stand up. You have to come from a truly much more confident place because you're putting yourself out there in a great crazier way you don't realize that but that's just like women and attracts but there's women bomb every single time i see them to stand up and i'm like don't know why you keep doing this survey truly devastating to me like pretty good set. God i wish. I had that where i could just do. Awful and then be like delta right. You know it hurt me so if the fact that it didn't hurt you is like very strange. I'm more empathetic to your pain than you are to your own pain. I'm feeling what you need to take some of this embarrassment away from me because it hurts. There's comments that are that are like i've stopped telling people good set if they didn't have one like we need not bad up line. Like you guys all complement each other. Which on the outside like it's cool and then something happens that disrupts your industry and i'm like oh maybe if you had told that guy was good sunny good be criticized and be more open. Take criticize how i like to. I definitely have enemies in stand up. And they know we know like but i know the nemesis it makes it into more of like a story of will than if you call them. An sounds like you're mad a nemesis. Sounds like they're evil. So go with okay i have some. I have some amazon. Have and i have a photo but then i love to imagine the people that hate me. I don't even know about blue. Don't think i've ever done that. Discovery scared when you said that's like a weekly exercise. I just assume everyone forgets about me. And so every time like it's me it's katie. We met one time at this thing. And they're like okay. I know and i'm like i don't know it's just such a lake at. That's a truly healthy humble way just on the other side of the spectrum of you you are on your end in it's unhealthy and on the other end and it's unhealthy like i can't ever just walk into a room and be confident that like someone's cool with me being there. I walk in. And i'm like you guys i mean ahead out you got it of here. Go by look. I'm just so all the time. And i walk in and i'm like they all just thought she lights up a room exactly. We're both sick. We're just sticking different ways. And that's how we find ourselves behind these microphones. I'm very grateful to you for doing this. This was a fun way to spend my sunday. Just conning you into talking to me on the phone for an hour under the guise of it being a podcast might never publish this adjust living now and i'm scared to ask you to be my friend. I'll be your fun. Thank you for hanging out with me. Thank i'm so happy all right. It's just me again. That is a that's it for meghan. What a what is big. Thanks to her for doing this on a sunday. She's wonderful human. And i'm realizing now i should have her twitter account ready so that i can tell you to go follow her. It's probably just going to be making gaily but louima's double-check Yup it's just at nagging gaily so go follow her. We love her very much and are really grateful to her. I'm going to let you go. But before that i have to let you know that today's podcast also brought to you by better help Twenty twenty was very interesting. So let's do a mental health check in. How are you really. And what do you need right now. Therapy can help this. Is the ad read though. It is basically A summation of what was podcast is usually about. So what is there be exactly. It's whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be. It's just some tools to help you with anything. Motivation depression anxiety. Battling your temper stress dealing with insecurity in relationships or insecurity at work genuinely whatever you need. Therapy is there to help you. Work it out and figure out what you can do to feel more in control or to feel like you're in charge of your life because you deserve to be happy. Better help customized online therapy that offers video phone even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anybody on camera if you don't want to or if you'll cute that day totally can it's much more affordable than in person therapy which i know is a huge barrier for entry for a lot of people. So if you're feeling like therapy is too expensive. Checkout better hope. Maybe you can find that. It's much more within your budget. And then you can start communicating with therapist in under forty eight hours Join the millions of people who are seeing what therapies really about. It may or may not be for you. It's okay to keep that in mind try it and if you don't like it you can try it with somebody else and if you've done that enough and you're like this isn't for me the nuts totally fine. Nobody's here to judge you. It's kind of the beauty of therapy But it is definitely work worth looking into because as it says here in the ad read. You are your greatest asset. This pack is sponsored by. 'bout better help and Sports listeners get ten percent off their first month at better help dot com slash nolan. That's b. e. t. t. e. r. h. e. l. p. dot com slash. No l. a. n. And that's it you guys for this week's edition of sport will this week. Second shin splints. We use a template for the podcast. And i don't adjust it on thursdays and so you're right after this. I will go adjust the template. So i stopped saying this week's edition when it's really this week's second edition out to our sponsors brooklyn and full sail and better help showed up to meghan gailey. Who have already told you at meghan. Galea follow her on twitter. And i think it's better maggie gaily on instagram. you'll find her Shut up to the right time with. Bomani jones says puck as awesome and one day. We will get him on this podcast. shadow to amani. John's for telling me that in california you can get gym equipment delivered directly to your hotel room thing. I definitely didn't know and i would have had to get out of shape if if you follow big thanks guys for listening now and again later on a different streaming service or two or you could always leave us nice review wherever listening to this podcast. Which by the way we read and we love them like this one from p murphy that says nolan is a great listener who gives fantastic detail to each topic and interview. That's so nice travis. Thank you for picking that review p murphy. La for leaving that review into all of you. Sorry for not Giving you a podcast. That does that this week. it's It's still funny and it's good. It's just not as deep whatever katie. Stop beating yourself. Lastly don't forget that you can always leave a voicemail at eight six zero five zero six five five seven one Anything else my friend neighbor gets. He has a new stand up special. That just dropped on net flicks today called I think it's average averaging greatest average american. Wow just go look it up. that's also fun. If you guys are looking for something to do. I miss my dog so much. I i knew i would miss my dog but boy do. I miss myrtle so much. It's thursday and arkansas. Ciragan until wednesday. And i'm going crazy but i'm living based on videos of her being sent me by dan And christina say goodbye and And by for me as well by. I love you after a year without the tournament. I am excited to fill out a bracket again. This year's field is wide open. It could be anybody's year. Which means it could be your year if you sign up for. Espn tournament challenge the number one bracket game. It's free. it's easy and it has everything which i assume is like all of the teams and then a bracket and then some sort of way for you to fill out that bracket as you see fit with those teams. That seems like everything to me. Oh wait they went into detail. Expert insight and analysis tournament challenge bracket groups for friends and family tournament. Challenge just wanna have a bracket randomly filled out for you. It says no judgment here in the script but a little bit of judgement tournament challenge you. Get the idea sign up now for. Espn tournament challenge the number one. Brecca game at espn dot com slash bracket that's espn dot com slash bracket.

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