8/2/19: You Did Everything Right

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

If you're listening to this and you drive in a city where there are lots of commuters on foot and by bike please please drive carefully. Look over your shoulder. Check your blind spots. Please check before you open your door. You could save someone's life by being careful thank you. This is coach Sarah a and this is the morning mantra hi. My Name is Sarah Axelrod. I'm a run coach lover of poetry and a person who cares about your wellbeing. You don't have to be an athlete like to be coached and loved and if you need an anchor to hold onto his loop through touch situation. You've come to the right place. Today's mantra sure is you did everything right. You did everything right this morning. One of the students who works for me was riding her bike bike to work when someone opened their car door without looking red into the bike lane she was writing in obeying all traffic less and Bam she was on the ground in onlooker got hold of her phone and called called nine one one and then called our office and as soon as we got him to tell us where she was took off running towards her so she would have someone to wait with her for the ambulance to come for her roommate to ride with her to the hospital. People were asking all sorts of questions. Where were you writing. Which side of the car you want where you in the bike lane? What do you remember about what you're doing and these were people doing their jobs and they did their jobs. ABS- well I was impressed. The police officer gently asking the questions and he needed to ask these questions as he pulled his report reassured her that she was not at all at fault in this accident evident but even so I could sense that she was feeling guilty even apologetic for her role in it a mode that I know I myself default to when I'm disoriented and shocked and full of adrenaline. I felt for her so much. I wanted to get right in her head and banished any notion that she had done anything wrong. The people who saw the accident including the door opener himself confirmed that she had indeed been doing everything right and this still happened to her. I think we want to believe that doing everything right. Protects us from the kinds of accidental harm. We risk risk every day and there is a lot that we do to take precautions that are smart. We were helmets when we ride. We wear seatbelts when we drive. We wear lights. When we run in the dark. We learn wilderness survival techniques for the trails. We speak up we lean in. We wear shoes that fit properly do our pre Hab. We carry are valuable securely. We don't leave them unattended. We watched where we're going. We we avoid being alone with people. Don't respect our boundaries or unsettle us in some way. We do everything right but you see where this leads right. Sometimes someone still open the door right in our faces accidentally or on purpose and turns US upside down in here's the thing when we are so attentive to doing everything right in order to protect ourselves and we easily so easily find ourselves believing that when we do get doored there must have been something we could have done to prevent it. Look at how hard we prevent. How can there not have. I've been something we could have done to keep ourselves out of that situation. I feel like I saw those thoughts. Going through my students mind. She answered questions and I remember times. When I felt the same way. One was a car accident accident when someone ran a stop sign and rammed into me thankfully leaving me completely unhurt and I remember thinking there had been something I neglected to do otherwise. How could this have happened out. NOPE marina stop sign happened to be in the way another was when my wallet was stolen on the bus and it got grilled by family members about where I'd been sitting whether I'd put my Wallet Away Securely Early Enough did is it my bag. Did I notice anything suspicious on the bus. Why didn't I realize the while it was gone until the credit card company checked in with me about some big purchases someone had just made it target the only reason and they were asking these questions I felt was because obviously it could have been more alert more attentive. Obviously if I'd done everything right. I'd still have a wallet. When someone hurts you or violates you. You deserve sympathy in love and you have to have been perfect to deserve sympathy in love the idea that we can be perfect enough it to prevent bad things happening to us is the same idea that can more pain to dispatch thing happened because I wasn't perfect enough because of me. What you don't deserve is being made to feel like somehow by being more right by being more perfect? You could have prevented this happening. Doing everything right is not enough to save you from faultless doors opening. Opening a new face it does not save you from those who would rather throw their hands up and be stuck in their ways rather than take a look around them and see the situation for what it is the fact act that you are hurt right. Now is not the price you pay for imperfection. I also thought of the Listener Coach K. spoke to yesterday the one who wrote in for a mantra to help her navigate her departure from a toxic workplace. Where in her words my voice was not heard but my workaholic tendencies in overdeveloped sense of responsibility have been exploited when coach K.? Hey ascertain elaborate a bit on criticism she had received she unleashed a torrent and I was speechless as I read it. This woman had advocated for herself and for others had asked questions nations have paid attention in taking notice taking every opportunity to speak up when something wasn't right and she got Jack Shit in return except guilt trippy. You're the the problem nonsense. She did everything right so that listener I want to add as you fart in their faces on your way out by the way that was great advice ice from coach M._k.. And I loved every word I want you to hear our voices in the back of your head. You did everything right. You can hurt enough in the last thing you need in a situation where you are hurt is the feeling that somehow you could have been more perfect. You did everything right you are coached you are loved and you are

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