Pie and Cards
Imagine live from experimental studio in Phoenix Arizona. It's Dad's outnumbered. Let's give a shout out to your hosts Glenn in Craig Buddy. Welcome to this week's episode of dance. Outnumbered my name is Glenn and joined with Craig Today and we thank you for joining us. You know again. Just a reminder dad's number. We are DADS of daughters and this is a group therapy session or a virtual group therapy session To share tips and tails all on on the journey along the way overdoing it. Hey Man you're outnumbered it's right. Surrounded by females. Maybe you want somewhere to go to talk about. It gets tips. This is the play. This is the place and I. Of course have three daughters and Craig has two daughters so were definitely outnumbered but again glad to have you here now greg. You've been traveling so Yeah we took The family and we headed off to Your before interruption. We're always in a construction zone. I swear I don't think people care last night it was airplanes flying over and how it's Some dump truck or something just went by but It's one hundred degrees outside but we're in the shade Yeah so we headed off to Europe. we were fortunate enough to take my mother-in-law along with us so my wife my two daughters and my mother-in-law and the secret there is a relative a friend mother-in-law can watch the kids so that can be more than just parents while you're on a trip so that's always worked out for every summer on our vacation This time we flew through Chicago on our way to Amsterdam and asked about four days in Amsterdam London for a couple of days down to the Isle of wight which is an island south of England for about a week matter friends there we have some English friends and There's about nineteen of us Hanging out for about a week and then back to London for a couple of days I flew back by myself which was glorious eight hours of watching movies reading and resting on the plane and then they followed about four days later and say wife and Was the traveling separate because of work or just because you wanted to watch it already been. I was already Gone for about two weeks so you start asking yourself. How much vacation do I really WANNA burn on one of these so there was no reason with the kids out of school for this summer? And my wife with more flexible work schedule. No reason why they shouldn't stay and enjoy once. You're already over there. So they were saying at a friend's house so it was a good time. I know the weather was you know. England is England. But you're at the beach but was warm enough. I mean yeah you know I think the warm Arizona weather followed US pretty well. We had a couple of beach days. I think there's only one or two days that were sort of raining and dreary but otherwise funny enough. The days we went to the beach the sun was out. It was doing pretty good but I learned a few things on my trip. Tell me more. Do you want to jump into that right well? Yes what did you learn? Craig Larry learned so I don't get any other method. I'm sure everyone has their own method to travelling to Europe or other time zones. There's a difference for us of about eight hours so we had to have a strategy especially with small kids and I think the way to go both directions is stay up at least it worked for us Because you're you're we took an overnight flight so you sleep as much as possible but that day you arrive in Europe Your impulses to take a nap and if you take a nap I am convinced you just ruin your time schedule. Your bio rhythm. All of that sort of thing so if you take a big nap once you get there it could mess you up trying to go to sleep later at his sort of pulls you back onto. Us Time so we landed. The girls had only had about five six hours sleep which is not enough for them. They get about eleven or twelve every night and we just stayed up as much as we could. We had activities. We did things and then we let them crash a little earlier than normal. Maybe six seven so that SORTA got him on a good schedule and on the way back. Same sort of thing is you're just adding eight hours to your days so it's really really long day but stay up whether the storm. I took a little half hour nap on the plane but not much That way you get back and you're ready to go to sleep at the right time. It just feels like a super long day. So that was one of the things Parks libraries bicycles. Yes Glenn or I just wanted to ask a question. I know that that's great advice on the flight. Back where the kids wake or did they. Did you keep them awake on the flight to yeah told JEN to try that method? So they left about two thirty. I think from London and they stayed up the whole time and it was probably about eleven pm London time when they landed in Chicago so once they got to Chicago. Unfortunately had about three or four hour. Layover so Spend a few bucks twenty nine bucks I think on Ebay to buy some united club passes so they were able to rest for our two in the United Club but once they got to Chicago I said let them sleep so they're sleeping in Chicago. They're sleeping on the plane flight from Chicago to Phoenix than we got him home. We transitioned we. Let him sleep in. So yeah that that's a that's a great method and I just you never know what the kids that day out whether or not the afternoon they they start to lose it because it's it's tough as an adult. It's got to be really tough as a kid. They don't know their bodies well but you kept a move. It sounds like great fantastic. I'll make the other tips a little bit quicker here but when you're over in the Senate depending on the age of your kids like you don't have to spend a ton of money. I think we had just as good memories from going to the parks around Amsterdam the library when went to the Big Amsterdam library which was really awesome to see. We biked one day. You don't have to go all out with tickets for the biggest and greatest things around. I think kids at six eight nine until they're a little older and maybe have interest in one absorb information You know six eight year olds are just as happy at the park or the library than they are. And you're soaking up Life there of regular people as well. Can I ASK ABOUT ACCOMMODATIONS CRAIG? Did you go with an apartment or hotel on this trip? I the England part. You were in Stated a house but for the other part. How did you handle that? Well On the other white funny enough for seven days. We stayed on a working farm. That enough rooms in Combinations for twenty people and that was pretty awesome but in Amsterdam we did. Vr B. O. Which AIRBNB and we got what they call an apartment there. I think the owner lived in the flat above us. You know so. He had probably converted as multilevel house into a rental and it was good. It was sprawling enough Wasn't probably the cleanest of all places and not the newest of all places but served our needs for five of us for a number of nights as great especially with the number of five hundred. The party five most hotel rooms can accommodate that so that was a good choice. Fantastic and then Two more things one is. I started realizing about halfway through our trip. That with kids daughters You know you might go through your regular life. They're in a routine and you might set up a play date right for a couple of hours and that can wear them out and then you start realizing when they're on a trip like this especially around friends or family there on the go from seven. Am until seven PM. And that's like twelve hour play date like we were around with our friends and so the kids would wake up and run out there and join their friends and start eating and playing all day long and our kids were just coming apart at the seams after a few days right and I reminded my wife like but we set up a play date here and there for them and that's good activity for them. They're basically on a twelve hour days right now and when you're traveling with kids you have to remember that relating to rest and taking it easy and otherwise you're just gonNA fry out headed. Uni Naps in at any point during the trip. Were at at their downtime. Or anything scheduled like that We always try to have a little dip in the afternoon. It doesn't always happen but our kids don't necessarily nap. They might take a nap once every three months or four months when this out of control but I think we put them on stories like a sparkle story with a subscription stories and they have to lay down and listen to a story or two usually twenty to forty five minutes of just a little more. Chill time it's We call it rest time but I don't think they actually fall asleep. Did Dad get any naps during the trip I don't think so good. What's the mother-in-law good for if we done that's right? Get a nap in the last thing I learned is really. Planes are a miserable place as not just the bathrooms on the planes but planes can be miserable for long periods of time so my wife always has sort of a more rigidity on what she wants the kids to do on an airplane. They need to do activities and coloring and then they need to do this and she tries to keep them on sort of their normal life schedule where I say. If you're on a plane you can let the rules. Sorta falls to the wayside because the plane is miserable enough. We don't have to try to add onto that so we let the kids watch implied entertainment on united and others So the kids got to watch a lot of shows a lot of TV and so they're in heaven and they're quiet and they're not bothering you so it's actually a chance for you to sleep or read or watch something as well so I say. Planes are miserable enough. Why make them more so it? Did you send drinks back from first-class while you're sitting little joke there buddy? I'm glad he had a great time. You know Real quick on while I didn't go to Europe my middle daughter. Who's going to be a senior in high school went on a school trip For eleven days and so. It's interesting where you're hearing your experience but you know it's one of those things where it was ten students and two teachers and she went to Ireland Wales England and France and had a great time and it was really neat. Because that's the way the longest she'd been away from home and so on one hand it was like we wonder house you'll do and she also likes her downtime and so to be on stage you know twenty four seven for eleven straight days. We were worried if that was going to take it sold. But she had a great time at at She made a bonded made some relationships. The said the weather was in Ireland. It rained the whole time. But she said it was really fabulous. So how you do. I know your oldest daughter is been out and about and but now you're getting down into the other daughters and so How did you feel about her? Leaving the country without being close enough to you guys like. Was it a a form of stress each day? Do Motion notionally. You know it is interesting and you gotta give credit to the oldest child in the family Because they are you know they really are the trailblazer so my oldest daughter went when she was going between tenth eleventh grade. She went to Switzerland with girl scout troop several years ago. And that was tough. I just because when you worry but as the more it's happens these year it gets in and So it was more wasn't that you know you Mr in the house but again as time goes on you start to get easier. My oldest also spent a summer in France last summer. So you get kind of used to them or comfortable with them being gone for long stretches of time but you know this is one that she hadn't gone before You know by herself and so But it worked out great and So we're really happy for you. Don't need to get him back from. It's great to get back. We we went to the airport at eleven o'clock on Monday. We had signs A welcome back signs. It was a lot of fun so nice. Well you know this is our fathers day episode. This is our fathers day into exactly. This banter lasted at like twelve on cable banter. Wait while you had stories to tell advisors share so Spending all these time in In Europe you know how it is so but now with. What's the plan for Father's Day this year? Do you have any idea of what you will be doing this? Father's Day Craig. Yes I had this fundamental shift. You know two years ago when my parents moved to Phoenix yes fathers. They used to be all right a car. You make a phone call. Send a gift and out the whole ton right and then everything could be about me and you know that's where I start from so Yeah I'm not struggling with but there is a another hierarchy my father to consider and have to make sure he's having say oh. You're splitting father's Day. I know there's a lot of fathers out there who have to split father's Day with maybe two other fathers stepfathers. Yeah the whole clan so I'm working through that. And so what I tried to do is figure out. At first. I was like well. I'M GONNA do my thing. He can do his thing. We'll get together at some point later in the day as pie and car But then I decided what our common interests so Fortunately well just coincidentally my. My mom is taking my girls to play pink delicious. The play I got my wife. I got my wife to drive them. Even though she going Inge Right GonNa sit outside or work at a cafe or something and so then my dad and I are now clear. So we're going to go to the movies on Sunday afternoon and then we'll go back to their place to barbecue so I figure movie meet and then everyone will join us and we'll have dinner and exchange gifts and Apple Pie there you go. And that's that's that's actually great. Because at the end of the day is the Dad and your dad is well what what does he want? He doesn't want pomp and circumstances. He wants downtime. Hedonism and but his pious tradition at the At your household. And Yeah but it's going to be funny because my mom. I think shows her love through cooking and I got and but I will not be partaking in the pie this year. I'm on that Tito. Oh good for you and so my mom has yet to find out that I will not be accepting her love on poverty. So we'll see how all that goes down. But do you know Glenn Let me tell you haven't we all you know as they're older again it's interesting when With the girls. It's a surprise because they drive and have means of income. You know it's literally GonNa be a lunch or a breakfast and I should be pretty much off the hook. Is it a meal with your kids without your this right? She does not get involved. Yes we've now gone to the father's Day or Mother's Day is solely kid and parent the other parent is singular. The other one is off the hook. So it's actually mother's Day was a vacation for me because I had an entire afternoon to of You know no one else in the household so was great so the same thing for her. So I'll take me somewhere. My wife is completely off the hook. Which which is actually fought because they're not my You know he's not my you know. What age does the bad gifts stop and more reasonable gifts begin? Oh it's usually goes elementary school. We actually The I think they go from the handmade gifts end about six grade. Just to let you know ten eleven and then they get into gift certificates such as I will spend time with you or something along that line and now I just told them this year because my birthdays just a week before and they already did stuff for me at I said. Let's do meal and experiential and I'm good you know so. I'M NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING THIS YEAR. Which is totally fine by me. As long as we're spending time together that's the important thing. Well here's a few other things that father's like to do or ideas to do because you can't be a little selfish on father's Day and I know fathers out there who are like. Oh I just want to spend it with my kids. That's the whole point of father's Day. I'm a father you can't be selfish or you can do things with the family. So here are the most popular things to do on father's Day so You give you give me your immediate response. Yeah good no thanks. People want to get to know you bowling. Would you like to bowl on father's day I would have with the girls while ago? They probably would be less Not not too hot on. No right water park waterpark. Yeah that would be all right. I wouldn't mind that CARSO car show now not not my scene definitely not there so outdoor adventure outdoor adventure absolutely movies movies good yes. I'm in Golf Golf Driving Range we've done and that's a good one then putting on a show for us now I There's no way I would ever get them to do that now. But years ago there was a show going on all the time a picnic picnic sweet absolutely. I would be up for that. Camping camping always good. But generally I would need to know about that advanced and I'm sorry to surprise me on that one. You Know Video Games Video Games. And that's that's two every day Barbecue barbecue generally all doing the barbecue. So that's that's always a good thing. Take Dadullah Baseball game. If if they're in town that wouldn't be bad. So when my net at all Glen would you like breakfast in bed on Father's Day on that it would be all right but usually it's They just delivered Lee and for that lucky ten percent of the US population going to the beach or possibly. Yes always a good thing. Yeah so there you go. There's some great tits activities do unpublished fantastic so one thing occurred to me as we were preparing for. This show is if you think about it every year. There's like a journey in the sense that you know our kids get older. We get older life. Changes circumstances changes. I was asked you and I thought about it myself. What is the kind of the one big lesson or something? You've learned that you've learned in the last twelve months You know that you could impart to the fellow. Dad's the legions of dad listeners. Out there and I'll go first greg. You know one of the things I glen. Could you go? I think I'm GonNa go first absolutely but one of the things that's kind of an interesting thing is the I think you have to modify the playbook and what I mean by that is that what may have worked in a parenting standpoint. How you related to the kids in a even a year or two years ago in you're GONNA have to change up your Your being in the way because they what they listen to how they listen how they respond to your jokes three years ago. Where funny when they were three years younger but no longer are funny so I I hate to say IT I. We all have to evolve. They evolve and I think parenting needs to evolve. So I I you know I do some of the same things that I've done through years jokes or teasing them and they they are not well received. So I've gotta mix it up a little more and then part of that is actually listening more to them and in terms of You Know Mickey Charm Responding In what they're looking for as opposed to just Responding normally so I guess I'm saying is adapt or die is a good parenting technique. That I think I've I've I haven't necessarily applied it but I've learned that That it's something I need to do. Well if you think about professional athletes or your career also professional father exactly what you got to think about your game and your skill set and your toolkit and evolve. It's like changing the golf swing. Absolutely you know tiger reconfigured exactly exactly wing PUMPAD. Two people have to chain absolutely greg. How about you what What is the one thing you learned in the last twelve months when as a dad I think with sixth an eight year old I think You know as as sort of open up to the world and start experiencing the world more I think you have to expect to work harder to connect with them and so before I think you know there are a little smaller inward focused. And you're a little more at the center of everything as parents and then now they're getting cold in a number of different directions and you're you come home. You have dinner. They're going to bed. It's like it's all becoming very fast and a blur so you have to sort of think about. Where can I connect? It doesn't happen as naturally and so you have to start to evolve some common interests things you do together and so we've been doing a great series of books right. We did. Pinocchio Peter Pan now are in Charlie and the chocolate background which is amazing at this age. Six eight a highly recommended. Every chapter is like a cliffhanger that they're screaming for Oh really and then Maybe it's a project together. We're going to put a ZIP line over the swimming pool in the next few weeks. Maybe it's watching sports or playing sports but something that you can do together that they're excited about because it just doesn't happen quite as fast or is sufficiently or as naturally without a little strategic jury around it. It's interesting 'cause you're actually right. You're the center and your wife or the center of their universe in a way but again it and then you're right. There's other things they start to see and you become a supporting character in it yet. Now there is something during the day in school or something after school and so their schedules are starting to fill up. So yes we're GONNA have to figure out where you're going to bond with them now. I think that's really That's that's excellent advice and It's definitely something we have to. You can't be complacent and keep learning and and go from there so that's great. Thank you for sharing your one idea Do you have any other father's Day Folklore you'd care to share all? I thought I'd close us out with some Quotes from some comedians about father. I thought I'd read some of these. And then you give me a quick review impression. Maybe it's what is the fundamental truth behind? This is it funny. Does it resonate any of your opinions are bringing on? Are you ready to climb ready? Craig David Tell David L. I don't know who David Attila a very famous standup comedian. Because when you're young you think your dad is Superman. Then you grew up and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape very profound very profound but at least he. He's you know I don't know what else to say. How very profound I think that's right. Yes Okay Rita redner you ever good all right I gave my father one hundred dollars and said by yourself something that will make your life easier so he went out and bought a gift for my mom. That's that is really the essence of of the whole relationship dynamic at the good answer all right the next one number three no drum rolls here Bob Auden Kirk. I think he's the Guy I know who he is from breaking bad. Yeah Yeah Okay. The actor My daughter got me a world's Dad Mug so we know she sarcastic very profound profound and that self deprecating humor always works well with the kids so you know what I mean so that was good craig any other service to more tomorrow from Rodney. Dangerfield have heard of Rodney Dangerfield. He said me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive. I get no respect. That's right all right. And the last we're going to close out with an American icon Mark Twain Mark Twain Roaf. When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around but when I got to be twenty one. I was astonished at how much the old men had learned in seven years. Oh yes that's a very good. I like that very early days of just not right right thinking within as you get older in your twenties you start coming back around and you think that was one hundred some years ago and yet it rings knows interviews stated this thing. I always tell people if they're having problems with their teenager. Wait until they're twenty three legged. Usually they come back and they're more sensible but yeah we're still. It's still not there yet. That's for future episodes but That's great I think we've got it covered. Craig thanks for England. You know. Don't just feedback Glen. You'RE A model here I've watched. I've learned You really go all in your all in. I don't WanNa be as much of a father as you are but I am learning and taking no no and you've got Yeah I don't want to give it back to you because you don't like that but Otherwise but We got to thank all of Dad's I mean it's a tough job and It's the best job you'll ever have all of that you know that but ultimately off just a good time to take the point to recognize that it's the best job you'll ever have and And do your best at it and it's easy to get complacent it's easy to get distracted and easy to think about yourself but you know helping those girls evolve and grow and nurture them so they can be stand on their own. Two feet is is really. You know the gift we give to the world and the gift we give is when things are hard at difficult or you have a question Someone you need to talk to you come to the DADS outnumbered podcast. And that's not enough. Make sure you tell a friend a family member. There's lots of DADS out there who were DADS of daughters. They might want something humorous to listen to on the drive home on their run so spread the word and help us Raise better dot there you go. You are not alone everyone. Thank you and have a great father's Day. Dad's outnumbered was recorded gate experiment districts studios located in Phoenix Arizona. Please leave a message after the tone numbered horrible joke.