Thou Shalt Not Argue At Church
Senior Life Journeys Presents Carol Howls. Let's talk dementia. A podcast designed to help caregivers find knowledge power hope and smiles lyles in their dementia caregiving journey welcome to let's talk dementia. Here's your host bestselling author Carol. The hello caregivers. I'm Carol and I'm glad you're joining me today for this episode. Let's talk dementia as I sit here and look at my background. See my wonderful fake Getty thing is heavy but I love it right it keeps everything so nice and cool. This is Scott my water in that has dough Tara Orange in it. I believe one of the oils. You might think this is good for your loved one with dementia might not be. Let me tell you why this is not at all what today show is about but Is What I want to talk talk with you about. And if you're listening to this I am holding about a thirty two ounce Stainless Steel Mug here. And I like it because it keeps everything everything ice and cold. But I'll tell you it's heavy and even though it's N.. Dented here in the middle where I can hold it still a lot from my hands. I've had thumb surgery in the past accomplished my bionic hand and sometimes holding. Heavy things is a problem now. Your individual with dementia most likely as a senior citizen and Holding heavy things begins to be a problem. There needs to be a handle on this grouper. You can get one of these stainless steel mugs. That has a handle on it. That's a a great idea otherwise maybe not so much then let's think about our folks with dementia or really anybody. What our preferences do we like? Our liquids really really cold like Carol does. I don't want Luke warm. I won't either hot or cold in northern little but that may not be what your loved one with dementia prefers so think think about that. What is their preference? Make sure you're accommodating that Wael That's a good sip of that drink. I do enjoy it. Believe me I I am fully hydrated as evidenced by many times day. I go to the bathroom but that is not at all what I wanted to talk with you about it. Just got my everything in life seems to lead to my my brain to think about dimension you get to hear about it. Well I have the distinct privilege for the last eight and a half years to conduct Church Church worship for folks with dementia. I did this in South Carolina when my Mama was alive and she attended worship and she would often complain afterwards about what she didn't like about that particular service. The preacher said that she didn't agree with tuition. I'm like Oh will can't make everybody happy. Then we moved to Florida and I walked through. ooh The common airy visiting brother-in-law his assisted living about two weeks after he moved and they were having church worship and I said would you like me to play the piano for you I've yeah while the next thing. I know I was playing the piano every Sunday. The next thing I know the guy who was worshipped later ceased being worshiped later and I was tasked with being worship leader and playing the piano which is not easy. That's a lot to get done each Sunday up and down and working with my folks who have dimension inch. I'm also the one who has to serve communion because our pastor Who is resident? There is in a wheelchair and he can't get around so curious. got a lot to do on Sunday mornings. But it's all good. I enjoy it. You never know what's going to happen at a church service there sometimes. It's just very very interesting so one on Sunday there was a discussion about the origin of the song. It is well with my soul and one lady in attendance. Who lived there? I just hope this wonderful story about how it went on standing there smiling. Oh best is wonderful. Because I'm not entirely sure. She had all the facts right but argue with her in another person should know. That's not how it happened. It happened like this and they proceed to tell their story and the lady goes well. That's not right and I'm GonNa tell you how I know that's all right. Carol standing there in the middle gone all my goodness. I don't know what to do about this and so I got out of the situation somehow. Well we On a couple of Sundays ago. We're going around the room and ask them to tell me individually what they were thankful for. We had about ten or fifteen people so we could do that and this one lady said. I'm thankful that I had fifteen children. Holy moly she had fifteen children for real. I said good gracious woman. That's just amazing. Will the next person to speak was pastern as pastor. What are you thankful for? He said I'm thankful I did not have fifty inch each village. Isn't that funny. Do a damn bridge or I am. They have won fifteen. I mean Kudos. Do you guys guys who do. But it does not care Have done that but it's just very interesting. The things that we hear The prayer requests sometimes are so far out out there that you know. There's just no way that story could be true. I think that then every once in a while I find the story is true but most I'm thinking this story isn't true. So are we going you to pray for prayer request of something we know. That's not true when we do our corporate prayer. When you know what you can absolutely do that you can mention it word for word just like Mrs Smith might requested prayer For her mama that you know her moms know her mom could be alive. Just mentioned it. Go ahead INSEE just like she did because the good Lord knows and he knows your heart. He's not at they're going. I can't believe you're bother me about this. He's not doing that. or or you can just say and I want to pray for all the prayer requests that were mentioned a day each and every one of them and not go into detail but what we would never want to do his Co.. I'm unwilling to pray for about anything but you know your mom died. Nineteen eighty six up Brian for her. Of course I told you before. We would never want to do that. And do we ever want to embarrass our vokes ever but especially among peers in group setting or church sitting. Nobody wants that. So just don't do it This past Sunday I was playing The prelude music we were doing some Christmas music because I could still get away doing Christmas and this lady was just singing everywhere and I said why. Don't you lead the worship music for me and I'll play the piano and she's all. I couldn't do that. Come on up here. We'll practice for today. So she came out we practice a little bit and she goes no no no I could just never do. I could just never do it. And I'm thinking she had such a good job like just encourage her to be a part of this. Yes that's fine. If you don't WanNa do it could sure use your help. All I want you know when it came time for service and I said everybody turned to the first page of their bulletin. The word smart. I assan which I think was all held power Jesus's name acid it's printed there and she hopped up and she ran up front. Just started saying it with me so it was pretty Neat Church Church service with our books with dementia. We never really know what's going to happen. I WanNa ask you this when you go to your church. Are you always show what's GonNa happen there. We'll see you think you you are but if you've got kids in front of you one of them's got to be taken out. Because he screaming fit and you've got somebody in front of you. This rummage through their purse hunting opinion or worship Shit piece of Gum. They've got to UNWRAP rattle rattle in you. Never know what's GonNa go on in this. Just Live Life Church with folks with dementia. It's really very similar. We never know what's GonNa go on. We're maybe a little more accommodating because we realize what we're dealing with but we should be like that in all of our life anyway but our services are short sweet and to the point. Where about thirty thirty? Five minutes in Bibi Bobby Boo. We're out of there but but we do have good music if I do. Say so myself and the sermon and Time of prayer and time of Thanksgiving in it's important for folks folks in touches a part of their soul that needs to be touched and happy to be a part of that. I just prayed Sunday. Somebody get done argument with the other person because you just never know. Do you. Guys have a great day plan on going to church this Sunday okay. Senior life. Journeys Presents Presents Carol. Howls let's talk? Dementia podcast designed to help caregivers find knowledge power hope and smiles in their dementia caregiving journey. Welcome to let's talk dementia. Here's your host bestselling author Carol Hal. 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