10: Annabelle

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Too dark air with terry carnation episode. Ten annabel it's not the evil dog. It's well you'll see. I mean i wish it. We're the football. This contract pastor depress depress god except the microphone. Oh jesus who has just been using this thing. Godzilla smells like someone dunked it into a broken toilet at a hometown. Buffet you can change these covers alive. You know hello. Hello oh hey sorry had to pop out to. You didn't get any of that ready when you are mr carnation. Okay fine here. We go chapter ten the italian swine. I am asked on a daily basis. How celebrity in this ultra transparent era navigates. The dating world is a single available sexually relevant mail. Well it's not easy. Let me tell you. It takes a village to success believe as a potential meat for vero celebrities such as myself thankfully. I have my trustee therapist. Dr captain two toss ideas around with our relationship has become a true collaboration. A safe space an elegant dance if you will. I'm not saying your piece of shit. Kes- didn't but others will with advice you've been peddling lately. Well hello to you to terry. You know what you did refreshing. When zaylon died you told me to keep a routine to shower and groom myself every day later on. You told me to quote unquote enjoy myself at work. So thanks to you and your advice and your pills here. I am in a situation. Can you help me a little by defining situation. What started as one night drug enhanced. Sex marathon with dr lizzy has slowly blossomed into something else before i knew it. I was in a wicked pool house behind a two story. Modern cape cod with gabled roofing and a subzero pro. Forty eight fridge stocked with snapple. And you're the one who told me to perfume myself up like some kind of radio peacock terry. Are you suggesting all this started because you started to shower and groom yourself. Celebrities have a much lower flash point for these things. More importantly i am doctor. Liz superior at work. My god kissed kistin. Have you tried talking honestly and directly to this woman about what her nurturing but concise sexual style or vast selection of artisanal soaps and lotions. I guess i could talk to her. But it's like you know a good thing going here this pool house when we have all the sex in has one hundred inch four k. hd screen with voice activation and all the cable channels including the epochs channel affects. Terry what is it exactly. You want from this relationship. Well frankly what i need is my own set of keys to the house. But don't you want to go a little deeper than that. Now that's true. I think a main house key is very reasonable. I do think she could give me a little more rope man. I'm still mourning here. Well depending on if salon still alive am either morning or cheating sometimes. Both simultaneously like the other night. When i started crying during intercourse. Perhaps if you're just upfront and honest lucas tripping on her breasts. Don't know what this woman is thinking. She may be on the same page with you. Just be honest Just talked to her as an adult woman. I mean clearly. This is no girl i'm dealing with. This is a real woman. Yes terry just talk like an adult two adults talking there you go. That's great terry. Really great progress. Well no thanks to you. I'm not even sure. I should pay full price for this session. Seeing as i came to everything on my own you have a five dollar co-pay you couldn't buy a medium watson with that great that is your one good idea of the month. I'll bring her lottie carnation out. You're listening to ks. Be kinda spectacular broadcasting. Hello good evening. Hello hi oh good. Evening terry's oh you shouldn't have no cheat this extra very expensive lotto is not for you. I'm glad i'm actually allergic to milk. And all other foods that can be made into milk so is it For annabel that name while it was on your last show. oh right. no no Is lizzie around. Yeah she's on the air right now. Here lemme enhance. And before i go to that he castrated loser. Who just called in. Here's what i have to say to you. You need to seriously re-examine the life choices you may trust me your kids eight you for reason all right up next. Would lady that psychic lady up next. You've been listening to the doctor lizzy show. It's just what the doctor lizzy. Well hello bear boy toy. I'm brought you this. It's a foam even allow half calf with cinnamon. Oh that's so sweet. But i never touched the stuff. I'm naturally caffeinated. I thought for sure you'd know that by now. just listen. Meet me at my house. At two o'clock park six blocks away and come in at the back alley door by the garbage can. We'll hold on i. I was hoping that well we could address the elephant in the room. I i told you. Effort is much more important to me than size. What really. that's all. No no no. No no no i mean you know here at work well. You're my subordinate. Excuse me. I get twenty. She'll ratings possibly three times. I have eight hundred thousand instagram followers and have been here five years without taking crazy break. I have a publicist. Which of these makes me your subordinate. You know what forget about coming over. This isn't going the way. I thought it would. Yeah god forbid things. Don't go your way. I gotta go me sick cheat. Did you hear that. unfortunately yes. She has a commanding voice that really carries. She blew me off after everything. She made me do that. We did together is only one reason for this. Yeah harmony dating options like that hot ups guy with sometimes hot. You know what's no no. She's in on it see she's in on the conspiracy. Yeah i think you're going to have to narrow down a little bit. My wife is still alive. Jeet lizzy knows it. Someone got to her. I mean why else would she rebuff a celebrity of my stature that she now has carnal knowledge of we had intercourse in the dog style. Yeah who wouldn't want to do that with you again and again zero. Since i'm gonna need to go back into my past unluck my future. I need annabelle. She will have the answers jeet. Bring the car around. Yes oh you mean my geo metro yes. The biggest life decisions lawn i ever made was adopting annabel. Our lives were turned upside down. But in the best way you know we got no sleep. We have a lot more responsibilities but our lives suddenly had meaning soon. We weren't just living for ourselves but for someone else to for someone so small. She made our lives ten times bigger. Annabel well frankly. She taught us how to love. Giving up. died was the hardest decision i ever had to make. And as much as it would reopen that wound. I needed to see her again. What is this place. Delong sister jill lives here with her husband. They have a daughter of their own and have also been annabel's guardians since salon died. They hate me. You're kidding their parents named one daughter's lawn and the other one chill. that's weird. is it short for like john g. Oh these people are not like you. And i the closed minded and very susceptible to any type of corporate manipulated suggestion. I need to win over there. Deluded minds well You guys have history right. So why don't you tell them funny story about the good old days. Things were simpler s. Everyone loves those idea. Okay yes but seriously jill. Well look who it is. Should you be getting probed by alien somewhere. Oh i get it very funny jill. You're looking well. We've lost weight. I guess at least what thirty five pounds. I made months pregnant but i know that a woman your age can still have children a fertile. What do you want. Terri came to see annabel. i knew it. I had a feeling cindy takes care of her. Now that's up to her cindy seriously. Letting a third grader. Take care of annabel. She's fifteen doesn't mean she's not still in third grade could her mother and annabel needs a lot of attention. I'll have you know what what are you want with her. I can't really talk about it. I just need to see her. Now without cindy's permission talked to cindy then now. She's taking a selfie class over zoom. How she has tiktok class break after it. Sorry you can't hear. God okay i will wait for dear little cindy how long she's going to be the tiktok class runs longer. People get excited. It is very important for all of us that annabel where those guys down there. It's terry carnation. He's to be your uncles julia. Remember hands jill. You're on call and anymore exxon co-chairing cindy cindy down here. Please don't leave until you take a good selfie. I love your sunday nice room. Cd this is that justin bieber that's ninja. He's a gamer Youtuber knew what youtube is. Oh i am familiar with youtube. Have amassed a few of us myself called selo really really to my answer salon. Only recognize your name at all from being made fun of at the dinner table. Sorry tell them a funny story about the good old days were simpler. Everyone loves those. Yes yes cindy way back. Actually i remember when i first met you. You were like. I don't know three years old as alon your mom or having some people over for dinner of twenty thirty people there and you are as cutest could be. You just ran down the stairs and made a big announcement to everyone in the room. Really what did they say you mama duty time. I have a dirty diaper white. My to she mama wipe my to she tushes then you drop trowel in front of the party and ran around in a circle screaming duty duty duty time. We thought you might have gotten into the liquor. Cabinet is very charming. okay. I think we're done here. Yeah wait visit cindy. You're an adult. Now i get it. I'm just going to tell you what i need. I i need her. Are you talking about annabelle. Why do you need the guinea pig that you abandoned years ago and might i add it. Better makes total sense. And you have five seconds okay. Look it's not a big deal although salon was certified did by the tijuana coroner's office. I'm not so sure. Especially after future. Terry carnation cold into my radio show in reminded me about annabel so now i believe annabelle was a witness. The nights dylan was quote. Unquote killed you. See so obviously. The answer is somewhere in that guinea pigs marble sized brain. So what i wanna do is simply bring annabelle to a radio pet psychic. I work with to find out what she really saw. You see. it's really not that big of a deal. Hello okay just wo because that is awesome awesome can can i please have now. I don't know she's very important to me you. We have like a bond. We're both blonde. We're both turn all terrible magazines. And according to my memory of you you both poop little pellets. fine just spill it. What do you want for Well i'm i'm in the mood for some fro. Yo you know. Parents are real dictators out desserts. I think a large would do it. Okay fine but nothing over ten dollars on the midday toppings you kidding me you know how much a scoop of gummy worms costs. I need three toppings. Three toppings of one scoop one container if it doesn't fit in the container tough if they view a second container for just your toppings tough you gotta deal deal. Pack up the pig. We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor dr listeners. Let's get serious for a minute. it's me terry. Well you probably knew that therapy has been a crucial part of my life for the last thirty years. Why would i not spend the time energy attention and money in making myself a better person a more balanced person. I wholeheartedly recommend talk space for therapy. You can sign up online and start therapy the scene days you sign up you can text video or send voice messages. Tear licensed therapist. It's incredibly convenient. Talks space pace. Let's you send and receive unlimited messages dedicated therapist on the talk space platform and it is the number one online therapy platform and thousands of licensed therapists on it. It's affordable it's a fraction of the cost of in person therapy and it is secure and private now as a listener of this podcast. You'll get one hundred dollars off your first month with talk space to match with a licensed therapist. Today go to talk. Space dot com. Make sure to use the code dark. What's that code folks dark to get one hundred dollars off of your first month and show your support for the show as well. That's dark and talk. Space dot com. Thanks to send jin's each cannery. I was nearly late for my show before. I could unlock. Nfl secret. I had worked to the kind that pays the bills and that dear listeners is the ugly truth and why i need to keep close tabs on my cheese intake color you are now undock. Air with terry carnation. I carry how you doing. This is dave from livingston new jersey. Very happy with you dave. And if dr lizzy or say hello to her for me. I'm a big fan. Okay okay yes. I sure will dave i show will take. Do you have a question or something. Because i'd love to get to an actual era starting word topic anything anything dave. Yeah so yeah. I i was watching the brady bunch on hulu recently julian de streaming subscription and. I noticed that they all had episodes except season one episode thirteen. When all the brady's get the measles do you remember that one. I don't remember that. But oh how i remember the brady bunch. I was the biggest alice fan. I found her fascinating. Captivating misunderstood she was the servant and yet she was the one in charge. And i i remember wishing as a child i wish i had an alison my life. I wish i had someone to tell me what to do where to go. Clean up after me this. Give me a smart little. Sassy remark with my mother. Alice if i was mr brady. I would've jettison that blonde bimbo and gotten together with alice. You don't you don't even need whatever what's her name. Barbara eden she She she she is great but what. What was what i thought was crazy about. This is that. I think viacom. Cbs was paid to get rid of that measles episode because they show the family just getting over and they didn't even go to the doctor they'd go to the hospital after after just a few days really fascinating and it always seems like alice was wearing a kind of a maid's costume but it was kind of address. It was kind of in between the two you always wondered like what did she have on up under there but my thing is is that this whole measles thing doesn't fit with the whole big pharma agenda to give all those pointless vaccines i mean. We're getting poked and prodded indeed. We are poked and prodded get poked and prodded by alice. I'll tell you that. But yeah i don't know measles measles when's the last time you ever heard of anyone getting the measles right. Well my My parents both died for measles. Oh yeah sorry. Yeah it sounds. It's it's it's a pretty terrible disease for a lot of people. So yes it's It's really it's something to examine measles vaccines episodes but the you know what's interesting to me. Dave is the second biggest room and the entire brady household. Is mr brady's office. I mean as a giant space right. He's got his own fire of yes and he's in the house. I think there's four bedrooms. They shared the way they vehicle rooms. I can't really good fit king bed in that thing. You could adopt another three children. You know alice could live. Well hello thank you does. She have kids probably husband. I think working claiming she has a husband or boyfriend. I don't know what their situation that really blows. The illusion is being being single and being available. Well thanks for your call dave. Thanks for having all right. Sorry about those measles okay. Next caller take a deep breath urine. Dirk air with terry carnation carnation nation. There is so much misinformation out there about eating healthy. remember that old food pyramid. We were taught kids. Well guess what it's completely obsolete. What about the fact that you're not supposed to eat after ten at night or after midnight or in my case after three a m who knows neum knows if you want to lose weight. It's not about one thing you ate today. But how you eat. In general neum knows the answers to all of your food questions. He's the same. It has to do with psychology. It's about how you eat. In general based in psychology with neum you pick the health goals that are right for you and neum personalizes a weight loss program to help your aspirations become reality. I've always had a rather strained relationship with food. And for once in my life. I would like to eat better to feel better to have more energy to enjoy exercising again and to understand my cravings. Now this is based in psychology and it has a cognitive behavioral approach which means it's not just about losing weight. You're building the habits that you need to keep it off. So there is a science to getting healthier and it is called neum. An ohio san up trial today at noon and o. m. dot com slash dark support the show and put in the dark and dot com slash. Dark learn how to eat again with neum. Sign up for your trial today at n. o. dot com slash dark. Oh look we have here. We've got marguerite calling back. The time traveler is with us. Hello agreed your back on dark air. Where are you this time or. When are you this time. Well i finally made it happen. Terry and i am in nineteen ninety-seven america. Let me get this straight. You could go anywhere or any any win you like. You could go to the parthenon right ancient egypt. you could be there at the renaissance. You could be there. At jesus's crucifixion and resurrection anywhere. And you chose to go to nineteen ninety seven one hundred percent. Who wanted why. I'm a little taken aback by terry. I thought you were open to all possibilities Even the grunge possibilities But nineteen ninety-seven if you must ask Is the year of the loomis. Fargo bank robbery. is the year that titanic was released in the fates her. I'm going to go see it today. In the theater like wide screen you could see popcorn in a rerelease not think. When is it going to be released. Okay do i have to say anymore. Do you really need more examples of why i picked nineteen ninety-seven a would like more reasons. I'm glad you The thirteen kilometer confederation bridge which was the world's longest bridge spanning ice-covered covered waters opened between prince edward island and new brunswick canada. Look you're reading in the paper. I'm looking at today in the paper. I'm looking at the paper that documents. Googling nineteen ninety seven events and just reading. In fact. i can't google because google exist right now. So that's partly why i called. You was that. I want bet on the super bowl and win some money but i don't know anything about football. I should have probably look this up before. I came but i was just too excited about the spice girls but Can you google it permit terry. Who won the super bowl in one thousand nine hundred seven i give them all off just like hang out here and green bay packers green bay but gotta split the proceeds with me with your buddy terry hundred percent hundred percent. Okay but guess where. I am right now terry. Kind of buried lead here. Because i'm super excited. Where's that marguerite. Okay so i'm in line at a bookstore yes. An actual bookstore is is where waiting in line online not online and guess what getting ready to buy. Nice red oak. I think you're being funny. Okay come on nineteen ninety-seven her means. No what the first. Harry potter book comes out of this year. Not only in a year. And today i am in line for the first harry potter book. She's an epic day. You are going to buy the first harry potter book and go. Take that book and you can read it in the lobby. While seeing titanic in its opening week friends taping. I'm sure that can be arranged. Marguerite thank you so much for your call. Go to a break. Appreciated have fun in one thousand nine hundred seven. Thank you so much okay. Cover jumbo gumbo caring love to hear back from you marguerite so long enjoyed titanic again number of no little word from you guessed it our sponsor hello nation of carnation listen. I know that some of you are sleeping on some old saggy mattresses at night. You know who you are and you deserve better to give yourself an upgrade. There are so many reasons to lose sleep these days. There's politics there's pandemics. 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And you get to try it out for one hundred nights risk free so he looks is offering up to two hundred dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. At helixsleep dot com slash. Dark that's alex. Sleep dot com slash dark for up to two hundred dollars off and two free pillows. Who doesn't love a free pillow before we go to commercial. I just wanna be totally clear on that one last point. Of course you can do naked yoga in front of your pets. In fact it's the only way i do it because remember our pets don't instinctively know what close even are so when i'm in my living room during my down facing dog on not row i will proudly let my sit in rows balloon behind me. High into the air right against my aquarium will be right back after these words annika. Oh my shows going great so far. Hi terry ooh so sweaty. I'm sensing a lot of fair ramones in the air a veronica. I need you to see someone before you go back on the air. I can't go into details but this little guinea pig right here could have life or death information. I have an idea come on my show. We'll do it together. I can't do that. This one's too. Touchy touchy is good. I like touchy. i am touchy. But i'm sorry terry if you want to do this i'm going to need you with me remaining two hours okay. Fine come on. If i can do it anonymously. Teri my mother always said to me. Don't ever give it away for free. Darlan that's disturbing so if you want guinea pig answers then. I need the great terry carnation in the flesh. Welcome back as in. God's we have a very special edition of pet psychic tonight. The one and only terry carnation here with us as co host. One could say. It's the veronica plus terry show Alot veronica pleasure to be here. I wanted to see what you could get from annabel here. I won't tell you anything about her. I want her to tell you what it is. She wants or more importantly she might have seen in her life. Okay okay and this beauty. Oh yes yes. I'm getting a lot of action. Lot of turmoil. I knew it. Can this guinea pig. Tell you anything anything important. Oh yes yes. He's got a lot on his mind. Her mind oh her mind yes yes. She says she says what. What does she say. She says she did. See something something intense she shall never forget. Why god what was it. It was a glimpse of you. In your miandi is my my what prancing around your apartment in your ear is soft micro modal brick me on these terry. I've never been so jealous of a guinea pig. Are you seriously thinking. A me. On these plug. This incredibly vulnerable moment for me. Oh lighten up terry. First time purchasers get fifteen percent off and free shipping. And if you're not satisfied for any reason they'll refund exchange at no questions asked blah blah blah. Yes i know kadota shamelessly crammed in plug so to get fifteen percent off your first order and free shipping to me dot com slash dark. That's me undies dot com slash dark. Now it's take a breath and get back into the legitimate animal psychic communication oath saying she's being silly what. Why do you feed me so much. Celery seems to have an english accent. Oh that's yes she's from the hoi she's telling me i don't feed her salary cindy feeds. Oh yes yes. She knows that she knows well. Then tell her to stop fooling around. Annabel bad stop it right now. Bad serious bill okay. okay. I'm going in going in deep now. Terry i need you to go pee pee in the shredded paper like i do sip water out of the upside down bottle. I do too much sensory. no longer gamut. Where is she. What happened is allowing. You'll blonde rat. Tell me how. I would live close. She scared now. We'll be right back after this short. Break up sorry about that now. I think we might need to turn up the heat and outsmart this headstrong little rodent. What do you say we need to bring into big guns. Do you know any real psychics. People psychics seconds. Veronica is sure. Do all of psychics no each other. We do a monthly potluck. None of us even has to say what to bring. And we're back with the borana ca plus terry show for this next segment. I'm calling on all my peeps in the psychic slash human department. We need your help to rony the magnificent if you are there call in to rony any of my top psychics. Please call in so many molise birdie. G cassia maude. Anyone here we go to rhody my friend. You are on the air work your miracles. Hello this is tony. I need tunnel. Silence total silence. I radio talking talking talking. Maybe that i sent it. Sent what you didn't get my psychic message. Do you have a psychic spam folder. I don't. I don't know what you're talking about sent it. It should be their lord okay. Fine with about his need for companion. Thank you yes oh his. This guinea pig is a female perhaps birth gender. Hello thank you ronnie here birdie g you're on the air thirty knows his stuff. I have been listening very closely. Terry i want you to put your face right up against the guinea pigs. Put your face right up to his hers. Yes that's right her to be a psychic. Listen listen listen closely to what do you do. You hear that her speaking. That's her sole speaking in her. Soul is saying she wants you to eat her yes he or she wants to eat or devour her out of her misery. The thought of more salary is just too much what i'm talking about. I'm not going to eat alive. Guinea pig on the hair. What she wants what she needs to not going to come one with her mud mud finally line three. Hello i am saying it very clear. They this skinny big was a great warrior. yes yes. Violence was a way of life The courage the valor. The heroics the saw the violence the pain. Oh he wants you to know god gammit. It's a she can't even get the gender right. Mike god you so called. Psychics are all a bunch of farcical cracks. Every single one of you has complete. Swindling hack terry raise on the weak minded. What are you haven't been around such complete idiots since that youtuber convention bucko psychics and fuck called guinea pig. Well that should do for tonight. This is veronica the pet psychic telling you we are all spiritual beings having an animal experience. Some of us in human form so please be kind and loving to all forms of life. Good night veronica. That psychic will be back tomorrow night. Terry you've done it the message boards are lighting up. You're kidding really yes. You are trending on the internet. My friend a crease upright. It's dedicated to just opened up. Terry carnation animal hater psychics against carnation and fraud nation. And you should see youtube. The haters are loving you hating you been telling me why that's a good thing again terry. They're digging up your tweets. is huge. I've never tweet him. My god theory. You're on the dark web and someone said they found your medical records. They have so many opinions about your hygiene. I it is one testicle. Okay someone once wrote. Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification without it. One cannot see god. That idiot was wrong. The damage was done. I had crossed the metaphysical line and there was no turning back. I was the official celebrity pariah of the psychic community and with vat ruined any chance at connecting with my beloved salon. Also i completely forgot that guinea pigs are like pez. Dispensers for turns. Cindy thank you so much for taking annabel back. She really belongs here with you. Yeah well my parents are certainly going to be pissed. So i guess actually i should thank. You liked this tart yogurt thing. Why didn't they have this. When i was your age toppings creative. I'm blondie bites. yes please yet. No thank you to the word tart. It's not it's it's not pc anymore. You can't say tart so oh how about empowered sex worker yogurt. That's actually a pretty good. Is that better. it's pretty good. If you can stick probiotics in there somewhere too. I mean there's just like health benefits so excellent so my aunt really loved you Salon and i had well an indestructible bond. It was unorthodox one that most people could not understand with their limited emotional intelligence. Why do you ask actually. Even my mother used to say dinner all the time. I you know i like. I can't believe my sister is madly in love with that stupid delusional paranoid maniac. I fear him but she doesn't against all odds you know. She really truly loves that weirdo. She really really does and this weirdo loved her. Are you gonna finish that. Empowered sex worker probiotic yogurt. Or could i get in there. Be my guest. Cindy it's really tart a watch your language young lady dark air with terry carnation was created by rainn wilson and aaron lee and is produced by tom. Harp and chris. Kelly starring rainn. Wilson is teri carnation car and sony as jeep. I'll magic alice al. That nicole brown dr lizzy aaron lease dr kasdan and jennifer maclean as veronica dark gear with terry carnation is brought to you by imperial mammoth audio boom and kellyanne. Kelly theme songs composed by marcus moscow thorough fullest of credits had to terry carnation dot com slash credits.

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