Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone Ep 34 - Magic Fingers, Butterfingers, and the Long Finger of the Law


The. Uh-huh. That doesn't that doesn't together. Coming to you live from the Ray horsemen studio in north Hollywood, California. It's nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. Your comedy field guide to life on tonight show a little lower, right? That's it massage buddy worker. Michael Greenspan puts our questions about massage therapy on the table. What if you can't relaxed or your massage because of fear of flatulence hill, work out all those kinks, and look it's a bird. It's a plane. No, it's just a bird. Those damn scooters are all over the place personal injury. Attorney Efren Lehrer is here to answer questions about the scourge of scooters. I'm Adam Felber the guy who's always trying to steer this show back into its lane. And now, please welcome the woman who's conversational scooter deeps crossing the yellow line, Paula Poundstone. Thank you. And thank you tonight's house band, French horn virtuoso Jacqueline Rany who the associate principal horn of the Los Angeles philharmonic. Fear the associate principal doesn't that mean? You're the disciplinarian. Yeah. That's the other that the bad horn players get sent to. Yeah. Exactly. That's how it works. Right jacqueline. And they have thrown and they have to turn their chair around and sit not facing the other performers. I gotta say Bonnie, I missed that smattering of applause decided not to applaud not to let our gets the plod this week because it's so there so few of them because we only have a handful of people even though people keep writing on Twitter saying do you have canned canned laughter? Applause for like six people. Yeah. Exactly. I think if you hear the quality of our applause and laughter you'll know that we didn't buy it off the internet. That's one generic can. So we decided that we wouldn't play because we thought it just sounded lame four people go like this is not a lot of us in this room. Also, very small room. I think some weeks in we should try the canned laughter and applause make it sound like there's audience of thousands here. Yeah. Yeah. Or just put pop rocks in our mouth yet. I would do it. Okay. So hold on. I. This is not canned balloon animal making I am making. It's not even balloon animals. Right now, I am beginning on probably the whole show to do it. But I am making an entire family. Looking at the Grand Canyon. You're it's just a balloon manage to twist twice done nothing to. I'm not done. Well, yeah. But when it's done it's going to look like. Takes years does. But you know, it's going to happen Pala lead balloon is going to pop point during this show. Yes. It was worry. Now, you're blowing up another one. You know, we had a hobby. You could do during the show that didn't involve you blowing into something instead of talking. Oh, yeah, I can talk. So what do we what do? I know what I was going talk talk about something. I watch on Twitter. Someone wrote me that their two year old. She put in parentheses demanded that they listen to nobody listens to Paula pounds two year old a two year old. I was so flattered. Wow. Yeah. L let me just say, I don't know if this will really work first of all, I don't even know the two year old's name. But if you're listening, thank you so much, and I don't know how well this will play because it's just audio but peekaboo. I'm not sure that's going to play really. Well. But they all love infants to your. They love the peekaboo peekaboo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when you ask a kid who's to say, how old you and they go they'll go like I two. And so I wanna say that kid. I fifty nine. For that very relatable. Guess love me love me. So what what do you think? Why do you think that your likes us? You know, what my guess would be a either her parents are giving her or him. I don't know sugary snacks while they listen that could be one reason. Right. Yeah. Or when I was a kid I loved the sounds of my parents laughter. Right. And so it could just be the kid likes that the parents are laughing, and they they join in or could be there is if I like the sound of parental after knows get along as they weren't laughing at my expense. Yeah. Yeah. A frequent about safe for me that happened a lot too. But yeah, I think it could be it could be that. Or could just be an extremely bright child. Right. Reckoning? Acting than than most two year olds. Now goes to the parents now and says, hey, those pipes blocked, you know, you should be pouring hot water down them or saying, you know, if you're thinking of getting your penis pierced. I know. Yeah. If you're going to be. So many things. It's hard to have to remove dad. Remember that? A lot of time. If it can be painless nowadays, dad. Yeah. Exactly. So it could be a very very right to your peak. So that's good news for this week. But there's there was some gosh. I know you were outrage we had our little on the phone production meeting yesterday. You were apoplectic. Yeah. No. This is a very very sad thing. So I was in Santa Cruz, California. And by the way, thank you Santa Cruz in Santa Cruz, California. I went to CVS to get Hareb junk and many interesting details these are important. I'm creating I'm creative pitch. There's a two year old that likes me. I'm creating a picture. You don't know that that two year old might just like me instead. Yeah. Well, you're here every show and the two year old may have picked up on that or some other things that might be good about me. One of these things is not like the other. Who? All right. So I went to and wasn't my goal when I went there. But I did find a bag of butterfinger bites but are one of my favorite things in the world. Because when you have the bite you're getting the crispy crunchy nougat, but which is not new it is not even the people what? But when you bite into it the problem with the bigger bar, even the fun size, which also like is that it's crunchy. And so it kind of falls all over the place really peanut stuff explodes precisely whereas the bite. You don't you? Don't find it and have us put the whole thing in your mouth. It's like tablet happens within the confines of your mouth decisely have that protection already there. So you painted a picture with words here? Do you want to know whether using self serve checkout or did you go to the lady? No, I went to late you have a CVS card Pala. I don't have a card. There. We didn't have CVS car. I didn't have CVS trying to out of the road was it on north or the south. I think we've pulled in from the right? I'm trying to remember what was on the inquirer was there by the register. Batboy again, I think Kim Kerr dash, Ian, something with her. All right. So I by the butterfinger bites and you have to keep in mind that I was very excited. Very happy. I get in the car guy picked me up at the airport and drove me, and I said all the butterfinger bites. I was so happy now open them up and I start eating them, and they taste awful awful awful. And you love Butterfield love butter fingers. And so I start to think maybe I have the flu because you know, when you have the flu and eat stuff doesn't taste terrible. Yeah. So I thought well, maybe I'm getting sick. Maybe you're dead. I didn't feel bad. And then I looked at the bag as if I was questioning everything about my whole reality. I looked at the bag and in the upper corner worthy words, improved recipe. Oh, no. Every you know what we did today? Did I have nothing to live for now? Wow. All right. Oh, you don't listen for a second. What are you going to say? I want the two year old to fill a sense of hope. There's a lot the risen something to you. Yes. And want to just send this week. I'm upset because I found out butterfinger change their recipe. That's what I said. You could've said that ten minutes ago by points. Exactly. What I said, oh, we had a tone poem about CVS. Yeah. Get a parking spot. Le-? Let me ask you something. So if if and thank goodness, you weren't the person who wrote to kill a Mockingbird. But if there were what what what would you just like, there's a lot of unfairness towards black people. Let's move on. That's not. No, no. But I'm gonna I'm gonna go on a limb here and say your story about buying a bag butterfinger is not exactly to kill him. Ver-? You're not per giving on the same. Okay. All right. All right. Let me point icing. So yes. I am going to have to give you that. And I hate to let let let's move on. So this high chains arrest rates, no moving on. That's my point. There's nothing to live for anymore that we've looked into it a little bit. Thanks to our crack research staff, and food and wine magazine reports that they've changed the recipe there's a new chocolate tear at the helm of the butter fingers people. It's Harare the original butterfinger made its debut in nineteen Twenty-three. But as of twenty eighteen it's owned by Ferrara in American candy company. They're using a different type of peanut US grow jumbo peanuts. And more cocoa those jumbo peanuts for more quote uniform, and well rounded Roques I hate the uniform and well rounded road, I can tell the cocoa in the chocolate coating has been upgraded as has the amount of milk. So it might be an upgrade it's not enough. Upgrade the goal of a smoother less gritty mouth feel. I enjoy feel. I bet I bet the bars themselves. Don't don't explode as much if it has a smoother mouth Bill now they do that wasn't taking care of. It was just fell. Oh apart to the same degree. It was just the taste was horrible business. Insider magazine half a dozen taste testers, including one butterfinger hater where unanimous the new core elevates the candy to new heights. You know, it was elevate. No, it's terrible. And food and wine magazine says the famous crispy crunchy interiors still flaky but boats are more natural tasting roasted peanut flavor. Also, a richer aftertaste that lingers on roof of the mouth Bala. No, I had to segue my mouth. That's how bad it was raped it. I had to go to an oral surgeon and have that flavor. Remove from the roof of my mouth. Where's the word? There was a word. I saw in here somewhere. It said that it's not as cloying Lee. Sweet. And I love cloying sweep you always. That's exactly what Hummel collection alone tells me that. I mean who nobody plates I have. I have Franklin mint plates. I'm very proud of that you must have stowed away somewhere. So the cats cannot come around the hanging on the walls it can ever noticed otherwise p right, right? Yeah. I love clothing, the idea that you were taking a butterfinger making it not as sweet like who is that playing to. I don't think they're saying not as much as not as pointingly. Sweet no. They said not a sweep it's repeated throughout the reviews by business insider, and food and wine magazine and hooted butterfinger blow to get those reviews. Would be Mr. Ferrara. I believe it did the blowing butter for themselves that would be just pucker Ferrara. They used to call Ferrara Ferrara you've brought in. You're not going to take the word of those magazines. Apparently you've brought in the old butter fingers and anew improve recipe butter fingers for us to taste. Yeah. I decided since people weren't gonna be applauding that their hands would be well rested. Gonna have as many of us as can go in on a bag of each kind. They were the big ones, but I cut them up because no one's going to eat a whole new improved flavor. Here's what we're gonna do are going to start with you. Okay. Well, I already know. Well, you're ready. No. But let's start with you now, which which bag has the which has a new C. I'm not telling you, that's the whole point. I was going to administer this test to you know, I know already you administer the test. I'm in ministering the tests to you. This is exactly the argument. I had with Wendell before I left the house, which was a better idea. No, he said that I had to do it. I said what I know already. Okay. But maybe you don't I do. I like playing butterfinger take one of those these. I'll right. So Adam Felber who's here every show just took do things besides taking one from each of the bags. They are not identifiable in any way. Ladies and gentlemen. I think I can tell just by looking all right sui off shit, some of the bunny burns, do, you know, which one do, you know, which one I have where you're gonna lose track of who's holding? What if you do at this point? Okay. Which ones I have where. Okay. No of these two. Okay. You don't know. Which is when you take that one. That was the first thing. Okay. So wait a minute. Pose to you. Yeah. For everything have I ruined every. Yes. Hand to be one that you know, what it is. Okay. Okay. So you're going to know which one I'm eating. Okay. This one. Okay. I'm handing chain. Bonnie stop talking. Adam candy will someone's talking when he eats dinner with his family? It's a loan in a quarter. Stacey okay. All right. Okay. Now, I'm giving you the other one. Okay. Forget six Mr. science. Yes, it's weird that I would want you to know which ones in the taste says you're giving me go ahead. Go ahead. He's having the second one as in gentlemen. Got the exact same look on his face for both guys. Not connoisseur. I like this one better the second one. You gave me exactly. And that's the original that was their Reginald. Okay. All right. Bye. Do you remember which came from which this? This. The first eight and I like this one better the second sequinned exactly this. This is just terrible audio radio Bonnie's might that's where I am talking to producer. Captain, Craig Bonnie, burn. So. It's too late, buddy. Already captain crinkle. You told me that I preferred these. Babe was little and he said, I don't wanna be babe. They said it's too late. The one that you said you liked was the real butterfinger absolute ju for two to better. Okay. All right. Well, we haven't even introduced our guests introduced I think maybe as we bring our guests Goodyear show. Funny. You want to tell everybody what's happening here bunny Burns's under the impression that it is going to be interesting to our listeners to listen to people off Mike who they've never met taste jock lit. Well. How do you say? That's nothing. That's not. No. We're not doing that. Funny. Dumb idea. It's not a two year olds love it. No. They don't. Right out of that two year old crying because his daddy. That's why our two year old. Demographic is soaring soaring. Honestly, I I can't go to one bit. I go into Gymboree. I fucked. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Kids are your old legs are show and two year old might like me. That's ridiculous. Saudi stop talking. So we all know easy idea. Grazie idea two year old listening, Adam Felber, that's ridiculous. Everything. That's ridiculous at all. It is your kids like me. I'm sure they do. All right. So where are we? Okay. So we'll have our guests. Do our taste test later on in that make for slightly better. Sick. So far. I've I'm right, by the way. They knew improved sucks. Right. Okay. So that's our taste doesn't butter fingers. We've got a taste test of this podcast coming up the maximum fund. Pledge drive all my God. I've got butterfinger all over my mouth, it's happening in March eighteenth through March twenty ninth. And if you pledge five dollars an up, you'll have access to our bonus content. God. Yeah, we're making a bonus episode this very evening later tonight. But only people who pledge that five dollars will be we'll have access to the bonus content. Wanna let people know something what we're doing? For the bonus episode is we've asked you are fans on Facebook and Twitter and stuff on social media's to ask questions things you've always wondered about our show, and we're going to REVEAL OUR secrets to your questions on the bonus only on a bone. It's see how we if you were to see that. Then what what does that think? Call when you pull a lever the levers. The levers of power power how if you donate. So by the way, when we pledge five dollars, I believe is five dollars per month. It's not just five dollars. That's right. Once you great at one five dollar. It's coming out of the year. Fun and us that's keeping us on the air. Exactly. Because we, you know, we this is how we manage to make the show butter fingers don't by themselves. Well precisely. And by okay. There's something else that you get with the this is with the ten dollar. If you go to ten dollar maximum fund donation get an exclusive nobody wants to Paula Poundstone pin that says he's not here. Yeah. And longtime fans will know that he's not here is a reference to survivalist Thomas Coyne. Who who now legendarily on the third episode of our show didn't survive long enough to make it to the studio. He just never showed ever showed and attempted to reach him afterwards. And he's never contacted us. So we've assumed that he was killed out on maranda street. We've tried every kind of social networking we've tried to texted. He's not there. So on our Facebook page, we have an interactive map and we've asked listeners to look for Thomas coin. And when they don't find him somewhere, they go onto the map and they post where they didn't find him. And so our our he's not here. Pin is in the shape that you might find on the web. Yeah. Right. It's in the shape of a map pin on the interactive map. And I say that that finding Thomas coin by identifying places where he is not at that moment. At is not a good circle. That's why two year old listeners. Don't like you that much because I'm negative about things that medical thing very negative very very negative in that one regard for sure, but anyway, depend us a he's not here. And I do think it's attractive, and we pour our hearts into the show, and we give it away for free. And this is your chance to give back to the show. It's a show you love you give back whatever amount works for you. Without your contributions. We can still do the show but Bonnie won't be able to afford shit too. Crinkle during the taping. So high quality of the show is dependent. I wanna point out that while you were telling me that story about Thomas coin just now I was distracted because captain crinkle put her phone on vibrate. And it went off in her pocket which was pressed up against the chair. I didn't know what that noise his phone. Yeah. Just it just happening over well tonight. She's committed I have to say we I went to tape. So Adam goes, okay. Everybody quiet. We're going to begin taping and bunny leaned over in her chair, and it made a creaking sound. No. So she's really expanding out of just crinkle ING. She's an vibrates and creeks. But that costs money, ladies and gentlemen. That's why we're asking. And now also coming up next neuro muscular massage, therapists, Michael Greenspan is here and scooter legal liability expert, Catherine layer is also here, and that's all coming up after we cleanser pallets of new and improved butterfinger bars. And your back. Now that you've told me your first experience with massage happened back in San Francisco, and San Francisco someone gave me a gift certificate for the kabuki hot springs. I had never been there before. But I you stopped off at a drugstore to buy candy know that a different story entirely. Okay. So I was very nervous about it. Because I knew it involved bodies and nicotine. So I was on edge to begin with now. And I talked to my friend Jonathan cats on the phone, and he'd stirred the pot. He tried to make me more on edge and it worked. So now, I drive to the place that cookbook brings in San Francisco. It was a private hot tub and massage I go Japanese woman takes me in Japanese American woman, and she takes me into the place. She's going to be the masseuse. And I don't know if she spoke English if she did she didn't speak to me for the most part. A lot of gesturing and that sort of thing. So she tells me to get undressed or indicates she then walks me into this hot tub and the tub literally doesn't have jets or anything. It's just a. Rectangle tile tub of very very hot water. And I sit in there for a while. And then get out of intially. She comes. He tells me to go onto the lie down on the SaaS table. Thank you massage table. She puts a sheet of mates there. Were you hiding in the closet because it's weird? How you know? This almost carved one out of the air before you do a lot of hand gestures when I talked to love that. All right. So I'm laying down, and then she would very discreetly leave the room sort of in-between h section of this procedure. So she leaves the room on Lang down on the massage table does sheet over me, right? She comes back into the room with a long metal with a hook on the end. And I almost levitated off that table because I thought there was something that they did to you with a long metal pole with Holcombe. Then I thought she like wacky on the spine with or God forbid something else and she passed me into the room with the hot tub and use the long. Metropole the hook to remove stopper from the tub. Wow. That's what it was. That would've alarmed me more than her trying to use it on me. And establishment like that doesn't even have a button or lever that you can pull the remove stopper. God knows it they're fly by night organization. No, no. Very known. It's not it's not, but you have to remove that water. Otherwise, so many many of us other ways of removing water from from tubs. Let's spoon like one snow tie. You have one on your on your bathtub like a little thing that you could flick. I don't have that same kind of either way my point is. I've been a little leery. I did go through massage phase for a while where. And I'm fascinated by them. And I was fortunate in that when when Gina and I were back when we were living in New York around the time, we got married we had a friend who was working with genie. But also putting herself through massage school and she needed to all these different techniques. Yeah. Like like one week. It was Swedish did we moved onto tissue? And she to which was crazy interesting. And that was the best couple of months of my life. Yeah. Yeah. Really great shot. Sue Swedish, all this is so confusing. We have somebody's gonna help us work these kinks out. Thank goodness. Next guest would never use a metal pole with a hook unless he had a kind of retro tub. Let's find out how therapeutic can be. Michael Green's van the owner of massage revolution, the back, neck pain, relief center in Manhattan Beach, California. He's been practicing and teaching various forms of massage for over twenty seven years. He say's welcome. I go Greenspan, Mike. Now, you notice we had a smattering of applause smattering of PLA, and I thought that was even can't they can't help we should just let people applaud introduce somebody and people feel like we should apply. We're going to have to over overrule wreck Marshall burns and crinkle. Yeah. Captain crandall. Yes, she's okay with her making any sound in the world. But people applaud Michael Greenspan from the back and neck pain relief center in Manhattan beach. Let me ask you something. Would you feel more comfortable during this conversation? If Ataman I made intermittent moaning noises feel more comfortable Scher just. Yeah. Yeah. I feel at home. Good point right there. Yeah. All right. So does a good massage require pain is that necessary. No, good massage does not require paying a good therapist will work within your comfort level. Okay. Yeah. My problem would be that you have to tell them what your comfort level is. I don't talk. Well when I'm naked. Yeah. I can't do it. Like, I could tell somebody else that I didn't like something that you did. But I'm not very comfortable telling you one time. Do you have like a stuffed animal that Pollock and talk to? Complainer, but I'm not a direct complainer, which I realize is a big flaw about one time. A pony was standing on my foot, and I just waited for him to move. Really? Yeah. You just stand on your book. Did I just didn't feel comfortable saying, you know, you're on my foot trigger? Yeah. At direct. So anyway, I did use to get massages for a while when I lived in San Francisco, but what happened with the parking one sentence out so far, and we're gonna get another one before this interview is over go on did you so you answered the question of whether or not paying I had to drive to the place and the stress of finding a parking place was so much by the time. I got to massage I was already more stressed than I was before I left my house. Does it really unstress you? These massages massage can really take away a lot of str-. It's really depends on the therapists and the intention and the type of massage right? And it also depends on I would say how much stress you have. I mean, it could get rid of a lot of stress you could feel like you brand new after a good session. Like your brand new. You can really get rid of you can iron out a lot of stress from a massage from a high quality massage. You have. Do you have? That's the goal of some massages. Right. The goal of under massages to help people genuine physical problems. Right. Exactly. So there's different intentions. You could be increased circulation could be lower blood pressure. Get out of pain. It could be to lower people's blood pressure. Yeah. Yeah. Relax Asian response. Yeah. How do you do? So how do you do that? Look burns to leave the room. What kind of what kind of massage? Do you have to have to lower your blood presh- that would be more of a relaxation? That'd be more of a relaxation more than like a pain relief type of massage. That's like more trigger point based. You know, when my blood pressure goes up is when they put that cuff on you and still going. That makes perfect. That's the thing. I've heard from doctors at that thing the mini put the cuff on them. You might have to do it again. Wait till after the massage. So so they can be relaxing, these massages. I don't know if mine have ever exactly been for one thing. I just I feel stressed out by the experience itself for one thing. Just so fear having gas during the massage. Yeah. That i'm. You're holding it in tight tight as a result of things that you worry about it. Yeah. I mean, that's it's actually quite common. Actually, a lot of people. I want when people relaxed they have gas go when you relax relax, goodness edge, all the time. So when they fall asleep. So you know, I dearly when it's not when you're working on their gluts and they fought in your face. Know, right. It's when you're more like on the feet, but a therapist whose professional will definitely understand what I was ready. Professional point. Maybe we'll maybe, you know, just make some made maybe judge judge. That's what I hear. Yeah. So yeah, I fear that kind of judgment. But yeah, something about shiatsu and also related things, which is fascinated me that you could find a place on my on my palm or my foot that made me feel something very specific in my abdomen or something. Is that a is that a thing where my imagining that can you touch parts of somebody's body to fix other parts of their body. Totally. Yeah. That would be more western science. Let's say with what's called refer western is when they right over you with the horse. Two two. Westerns when John Wayne does. More more trigger point base. So if you get a massage let's have a lot of headaches. Okay. Okay. Let's say you do. I don't genetics. I don't heading. Sure. Okay. Of course. Where do you get your headaches behind your eye behind your ear behind your head like where do you get your headaches? Are they trying to be in different spots are sort of behind my eyes is right? So there's actually certain little muscles that radiate pain behind your eyes and certain little muscles that radiate pain, not behind your eyes behind your head. And then they're starting little muscles that radiate pain down your arm, and it has nothing to do with the nerve it has to do with muscles that radiate pain to other parts of your body. If you wanted to get rid of paula's behind the is pain sacree where would you go on her body, you go to spleens capitalists or subsidies campus where? I weren't. I worked the Bijou theatre spleen his capital. Great around fantastic. His cabinet. I come over there and show you if my arm was Oregon spleen east capita. Gimme a roundabout where it is right on the side, your neck and your neck. It's Nick it's under, but you have eight muscles in your neck, this particular muscle, radiates pain right into your eye. So that would be whereby releasing that muscle here in your neck, releasing the headache so mistake when they get poked in the eye of grabbing their I instead, they scrub the side of their neck. I don't. Mike Lancer wants more urgent care. One's more chronic right? Yeah. Yeah. Good point. This is just what you believe in to like if you think you know, like what we're like placebos. Is there any sort of placebo mentality to massages? Do you think I imagined? So there's a lot of different types of massage. Right. And then there's then there's definitely evidence base bodywork. Here's evidence base. And then there is eastern medicine. That's been around ten thousand years to sell evidence to evidence by science right to necessarily really prove sue and acupunctures, come a long way where they've gotten science behind it. But things like shiatsu, they don't have a lot of science, but they've been around for five thousand years, right? So puncher has come a long way. I'd like to see them get rid of the needles. Yeah. Well, they've come a long way. Really be vacuum last in improving actu- accurate hat acupuncture wants to. Yeah. It didn't do the thing supposed to do for me. No. But it did cause pain in very little specific specific areas on my body. Yeah. Would you say pinprick spots where they put the needles? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that being a problem with somebody just going to ask you. Yeah. When I was going through my massage phase, I sometimes would go to like spa places. What the hell is thinking. I can't even imagine myself in a spot place now, but I did for a little while try to be a different person, and they were trying to be somebody. So not me, but the do stuff like lay down naked and they'd go like they put like an avocado seed on the smaller back like that was supposed to do something. There was a lot of hokum invokamet quackery. I wanna talk to Michael we want to ask you about quackery prevalent in the massage community, and what you do into combat the hawk and the Rackham and the quantum. Yeah. Wow. And where's my body is my hocus quack? That's a good. You know, there is a lot of different variety spa treatments or not evidence base. There are evidence base massage treatments to get you out of pain. But you know, putting you on your eyes and all the KADO on your back, and you know, that's just fluff. And that's like that's luxury not necessity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kristal cover somebody's what about girlfriend once thought that she was really good at that. And I had to subject myself to just like having rocks, buddy. Yeah. A lot of you know, my wife is a body worker to and she loves crystal therapy. Reliable me personally. I really don't know. I don't know. So she thinks she's healed with what she thinks. She's the ideal. Crystal therapy is that there's energy in different vibrations in crystals, depending on the crystal. So there's energy in vibrations. And the body is energy and vibrations. What about cellphones if I put myself on a five? Am I gonna get energy? Maybe is there a crystal in the cell phone. Oh, yes. Well, there's a liquid crystal display both. Both close enough. So what did you tell what is the difference between sw what a Swedish massage that's done with a small meatballs. Is it? Not. Right. A little on the back. Learn Swedish massage with very handy black and white drawings. But you through the right words, you you learn Swedish massage with very relaxing type strokes. That's really what it is. It's your classic TV oil massage relax -ation watching a movie and the the Hollywood producer is getting a massage. He's probably getting Swedish Mahalia Swedish unless you see somebody getting hurt maybe more of a deep tissue. Let's say. Just not a good practitioner. It's did you ever see the I love Lucy when they go to Hollywood, and they go to Grauman's, and they try to steal. They steal the John Wayne footprint from Grauman's, and they break it. And now they're trying to get John Wayne to make new footprints and Lucy long story is how this happens, but she ends up having to pretend that he's she is his masseuse. Oh, do you. Remember that this came around to a relevant place. That's fantastic. So how would you answer that to Michael did you ever see that? I thought I did. You were falling along the story. Yeah. Yeah. Saggio? What happened is episode that is relevant to massage. I mean like. Because this happened his back slide, and she I she starts to do it. And he's doesn't see her. He's got his head down. He doesn't see her yet. John wayne. And and so she starts out like really not wanting to do this. And she starts kind of gently massaging and he's like, oh, come on George put puts a muzzle into it. And then she starts slapping them. And I. Lord of the training film for you should have been. We're gonna stop the tape. And let you go home and watch this episode of I love Lucy. Okay. And come back and your assessment as to whether that was good or bad massage. I'm willing willing. That sounds like a good idea to me. Yeah. No. That's not true now. So are there places? Anything in the brain that can be affected by massage. Yeah. There is that with the funniest. A mad. Scientist look on my face, right? Then it's such an it's such a long you can affect the brain the trigger points that caused pain. Those are in your nervous system in your brain that Goto your entire nervous system causing pain and the rest of your body. So there's bodywork that's evidence based trigger point they're happy that will affect the brain. And then hence affect your pain. There's also cranial sacred that affects the cranial plates in your head. So what does that mean? Crazy sacred circle works on the rhythm Mary to one. Acquaint sacred. Relations. No, I don't know what that means. Sometimes says case. Okay. So. Radio sacred means what they're working the cranium and the sacred to balance them out and the ideas of balances out the rhythm cranial is in the head. What's go- sacred? What does that say, what's your sacred say the triangle bone by your butt trying you pull this triangle bone, you tell by your pelvis, it's not on the backside. Yes, it's on the backside in the back say, oh, that's where the Kadassi. Looks like this Makoto thing was evidence based. This makes all the sense in the world to me, go out and guy at crystal. So you do you do it thing rubbing the skull. And then you move down to the sacred in back up and down again. It's also known as the Butthead massage, right? The massage. It's more. It's more holding. We're static got ethically holding. Oh, I see holding. What they do is. They I am not a cranial sacred therapist. Okay. No. They hold. They hold rain. They hold your cranial plates. And they feel the rhythm of your. An energetic rhythm between your cranium and your sacred to clear up the the the energy patterns the energy lines. So it's a way of rebalancing the cranium and the sacred this can help with pain can help pain migraines. People who have a lot of different head traumas. Yeah. Physical traumas the cranial you can shift and they're actually osteo pass. Actually, doctors are no how to work on the cranial bones because they can move. They can shift. Yeah. That's not so much masseur. That's like a body worker. That's a little different. You know, massage therapist isn't going to be shifting your cranial plates around until if I go to massage therapists and they start to shift my cranial plates around. I'll know that they are out of their league. Zach go to one of those off brand massage therapist, leave an extra twenty one who takes out say to myself. Okay. This is not a massage. You're either pulling out a stopper with that or I'm leaving, wait. Yeah. Exactly. Is there anything involving massage that can help with memory MOS looking for something help with my memory has concerns about her memory? That's a really good something today. Already asked you that. I mentioned. Agean? I imagine a lot of memory can be can be stressing a lot of memory fatigue can be stress induced. So you can relax an iron those out the more you can release things like traumas, the more you can release like, you know, mentally physically emotionally, the more. You're going to clear up your memory. I imagine that sounds like a Strauss. But yeah, maybe I may have to go back for this massage. Now, you you a lot of stress in your life. I have a lot of stress. So the Swedish massage is the more gentle relaxed kind and then the shots who is what shots his finger pressure. That's what it means fingerprinting pressure, usually clothed, and it's a Japanese form of body work in Chinese form medicine. Traditionally sometimes they'll say like they found. Like a penny. No, they found a knot in. Your muscles is such a thing. Really exists. Yeah. There's landmine knots. Call trigger points land-mine knives. Not like that have not. And so and so they they they smushed them with their thumb or something. So that would be the landmine knots would be more trigger point western base eastern base would be more shiatsu clearing up the meridians, which is what Accu puncture does with needles, but shiatsu does with finger. So it's non needle base. So they've they go to the places where they believe that certain parts of your body control from. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. And they clear blockages energy blockages. They call it Meridian's Meridian's energy thing is that. It always sounds kind of. Woo to me is it like evidence based this energy thing. I think it's more. You know, I think it's more faith-based and trust. And I don't know how much science is actually. Discovered the energy base. Many people do believe in it. Right. That's that acupunctures had some science you punchers science in more than just releasing dodging opiates, right feel-good. They actually have science for opiates those opiates that don't seem to one gender or the other. That'd be drudge info. Oh. Right. So so more like. Like acupuncture showing the help a lot with like internal medicine. There's a lot of there's a lot of science for internal medicine. Yeah. With that. So stabby stuff I just feel like I always end up with somebody. That's a little bit on the wou-wou side. You know, how can go in. There's a lot of batik, and they're playing a didgeridoo, and you just find it hard to understand how that could help their way that a listener out there Apolo could find a massage therapist who's not going to do, aromatherapy and energy based and avocados on her butt and stuff like that. Yeah. That is that is our mission where where we are. It's more evidence based body worker. So I suggest that wherever you are. If you're looking for less Wu, and you want more evidence base, you wanna find someone who's more of a body worker. Somebody who does more soft tissue therapy muscle therapy, namely things like trigger point based neuro muscular base, you've heard a raw Fink possibly or mile Fazul release. All those are more evidence based soft tissue. What you do? Yeah. That's what we do. Yeah. And those are more muscle work like muscle and saw tissue. It's less. Somebody just holding your head saying I'm just going to clear up your energy, which there's a market for. That's not for somebody who wants more more, physical based bodywork. Yeah. So you go in. The client comes in you, shake their hand, you say, hi, Michael. And then their legs collapsed because it's just where you push. It's you just squeeze their hand. And then turn Jennings relaxed degrade people instantly right away. Yeah. Somebody keep in mind. Now, Michael before before we go, we do want you to do but finger taste test for reasons, which I still don't understand. So Paula because I'm proving that butter fingers moving in the wrong direction right now. I get that. All right. Okay. So you're gonna handle handing Michael butter fingers a blind taste test. He knows his finger. He does not know if it's the improved flavor butterfinger or the good kind. How's that Michael? Now that you're tasting it. Sweet good sweet good about her finger. Okay. It's very much like now cleanse your pallet. If you want some water, or if you have any you're out of water, lavar, these Rigas Buckler 'cause this this is not really science bring the store bay. I've forgot to bring the you're gonna hand that one over to my okay now, I'm handing you Mike on handing you the second supplying taste test is not identified in any way. The Chris pretty crunchy nougat apart. Now, Michael question is which one do you like better is going back for seconds seconds bowl? Yes. I like the second one the second one better follow. What was it? Oh, no. It's the new groove butterfinger. Let's Cloyne, Michael. A little. I just like it. You don't have an adjective for it. Into him. It stripped his adjectives didn't strip stripped his Agean. It's stripped his goddamn the second one the one. He liked better created less residue on the table as well. When he put that first one down just kind of like exploded onto the table in a peanut. Crispy, crunchy, crispy, the what have what was the second with? They say about the nuts and the second one. Say they were uniform or something where we were in the studio. I think I'm more uniform mouth feel. Yeah. Uniform mouth field. Did you note or natural? Feel of the rustic peanut flavor. I did notice that. Yeah. If I hadn't have said it he wouldn't have noticed it because it's stripped his adjectives from them. That's what it did. It didn't. That's why I'm not gonna eat those new kind because well almost have to take what action we think is necessary to affect change in this world. I'm not gonna eat those Newcomb because I'll be here on nobody listens to Paul Poundstone eating anything, but butter I won't have any adjectives. That's an important part of this show. Sure is two year olds loves this show. We'll make Michael thank you so much. It is by the way to one the good. So far too. Good butterfinger is two to one right now. Winning right now. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you. Michael Greenspan for relaxing are muscular anxiety about bodywork Paula now that you're an expert on this. What advice can you give our listeners about massage house? Been Jacqueline rainy. Could I have a little background music for my massage summary? Beautiful. The body is like the house in the three stooges short applying. We show go after the stooges work on the plumbing. When the cook turned on the switch light water came out of the lamp, there are parts that can be massaged that affected other parts. For example. The spleen cabinets on the side of the neck shoots pain into the. I they're connected, which is why if you get hit in the neck with a poison darn from a blow gun you blink. Sweetest massage which is almost impossible to say is about relaxation the shot. Sue massage involves pressure two year old really we pressure. If you want a science based massage you might want to go to a body worker, if you go to massage room, and you are surrounded by group of people in grass, Kurtz, holding hands and the practitioner begins preparing a seaweed dish on woodfired walk. It might not be a science based approach. Right. Michael Greenspan is the owner of massage revolution the back and neck pain relief center in Manhattan Beach, California. Thank you, Michael. All right. When we come back. The scooter revolution is here. I never loved that Cantu. There are birds flying down streets everywhere. There ought to be a law. But there isn't attorney Catherine Lehrer tells us how to navigate the scooter craze that's coming up next. The cat of the week is Pluto from Ellensburg, Pennsylvania. released. Okay. We're back. Now, Paula this is exciting. I understand that you have a contest at you've come up with for our listeners. And it's a doozy. Isn't it? Oh, this is very exciting. I am offering a fresh par of hotel soap to the listener who comes up with the best short sentence or two to describe our podcast. Wow. That's amazing. You go to do a lot of gigs on the tremendous amount of travel and fresh hotel. So you know, I go there's a wide variety of soaps offered now at these hotel collecting them. I will now. Okay. Great. What I'm going to suggest is that you bring them here on a weekly basis and give them to Tony Anita hall. So that we can line them up and photograph and people can actually choose winds hotel soaps elect, the hotel so Lecter can I can I wonder idea? Well, the other thing we can do is taste tests with the soap, don't less less exciting that so you could bite into one bar of soap and tell me if it's cloying. Yeah. I'm gonna get. It's almost always. But let's talk about this description. We wanna really accurate description of our show. I do a lot of interviews. And they'll say like, oh, I understood you have a bud cast like we have to say to everybody nowadays because everyone has a podcast, but and then go. Yeah. What's it like? And I kinda which isn't really good interview stuff. I like. Felber's there. Yeah. Okay. So this is actually great what I like about. This is that it's really not gonna help us if you right in your description that Adam Felber's on every show because that's not really exciting description telling her interviewer, so at least three of them. So if you include. Every. All right. So there I'm looking for a couple of good sinked sentences that you can tell interviewers around the country when he ask you. What's this podcast of yours precisely excellent now if you have a couple of sentences that describe our podcast you can Email us at nobody listens to Paul Poundstone at g mail dot com. And if you wanna find out where Paul is going to be in person, and where she got her find collection of soaps, keep listening. I'm going to be in Denver may third at the paramount theatre and in Seattle on may tenth at the Moore theatre. Denver has some great soaps to all of your dates are available at Paula Poundstone dot com. That's where you can also get his book, the totally unscientific study of the search for human happiness and the other one there's nothing in this book that I meant to say as well as performance ED's. That is correct people go from all over the world to bathe in Denver because of the hotel also on my website. You can get my remarkably software poly blend t shirt with a self portrait on the left breast. A memorable quote on the back. Yes rate t-shirt, it's a tripod. It's remarkable as they say in the industry Polly bunch thing that would be Tripolitania made that t-shirt out of three parrots. Known. Spend Jacqueline rainy. This is just elevating our tone tonight. You live in Santa Monica. Right. I do and that is ground zero for the scooter invasion. That's correct. Yes. Now, you want to scooter yourself one of those electric scooter, I do own electric scooter, and I use it for short trips in the Santa Monica area. I wear I'll met I stop it. Stop signs obey the law. I I try to six and as much as I do wanna drive, and you, and I are both kind of pro scooter notionally you and I both like electric and alternative transportation. When I do that it saves me. I wouldn't walk to those places a lot of times because I just don't have the time to do it. But I'm not using the car. And so I feel that it is a good thing to be doing. Yeah. How however if you're out there, and maybe you're not a listener who lives in an urban area where this is becoming a thing. Scooters particularly by the bird company. Rentable electric scooters have become a little bit of a play. Big as much as they help the environment there, so unregulated or laws are not enforced that things are things are getting a little bit out of control. Well, west out there Ville, let me give you some stats bird. I launched it stood sharing service in Santa Monica in September twenty seventeen since then it has grown to over one hundred cities facilitated over ten million rides and recently became the fastest startup to achieve two billion dollar valuation. Wow. Now when it says that it facilitated ten million writes does could some of those ambulance rides. It's quite because here's some more set in Santa Monica. The city's fire department has responded to thirty four serious accidents involving scooters in the summer of two thousand eighteen alone. Well, do we have a problem with the birds here to help us sort it out as attorney Catherine Lehrer partner with her husband in the Santa Monica law firm. Mcgee Lehrer associates, please welcome Kathryn Lehrer. Thank you. We broke right. You're that plus ban. Instituted that ban. Same demands at the beginning of this show, like a helmet list writer on bird schooner. Now you were helmet, right? I'll I do wear helmet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't look at Gooden diapers. All time on that scooter. I feel like I am an accident waiting to happen to begin with. And so I would like to protect my head if I possibly could. Okay. Well, welcome Cavs. If you bang your head or get it. If you bang, it'll hurt your arm. It could Mike officer. All right. So catherine. Do we have an emergent scooter crisis? Yes, we do. We do we do. And Polly wanna say, I'm very happy to hear that your helmet. Yeah. Very few people. Do Raymond really in around him and who walks around the city with a helmet and their hand. Nobody has a helmet I'd say maybe one percent of people I see riding scooters actually wear a helmet never seen anybody else. Where in fact, I feel a little dorky wearing mine because people look at me funny. But I for you. Wearing one. That's good. So can you tell us some of the basic scooter laws and if they're being enforced like our laws, by the way? All right. There are analii. There are laws under the California vehicle code. That applied electric scooters. From one thing you're supposed to write on the street. Not the sidewalk. Okay. That's a big one. Very important. Yeah. No tandem writing. Okay. Just one person per scooter only one person per scooters a helmet law. Well, it was the law. I don't know if you know this. But it was the lawn California that adults who ride electric scooters have to wear helmets that law ended on January first of this year. That's because birds sponsored a Bill was which was signed into law which removed the helmet requirement for adults. But wait a minute. I've haute and I didn't vote on. It was it was signed in the lied vote on never would have a Santa Monica sitting through the state of California. Okay. It wasn't a ballot initiative elect our representatives. Lives by bird and to me it's caused a lot of head injuries. Do you deal with a lot of headed in your loan deal with a lot of head injuries from scooter accidents? Absolutely. Oh, my word is usually the person writing the scooter the person being hit by the scooter. Usually the person writing the scooter these things are going that fifteen miles an hour or more state law says the maximum speed is fifteen miles an hour. They actually go more than fifteen overclock. Oh, yeah. Okay. So so serious head injuries are happening. And now have how could bird not be liable for that? Well, when you download the app, and it's not just birds bird line. There are a lot of scooter companies out there when you download the app, there's a user agreement that you have to that's right and birds user green minutes, fifty eight screen pages long on your cell phone. And one of the one of those screens it says, we're numbers on your head. That's your fault. That's right. Okay. Now, limes user is two hundred and sixty one boy that'll put you off from reading the user agreement. Yeah, I've spoken to do that on purpose. Do you think they make the user agreement so long that no one is going to read it? Sure. If that's probably part of it was hacking with you're giving up your giving away. Every right there is sun. Son. So it says like somewhere on page two forty. It says the people who own line can move into your house, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's one of that thing. I believe so. Yeah, it actually violates the what would have been does that about quartering of soldiers. It might be the fourth. Just that's that's unreasonable. Search and seizure. I think court. Well, that's allowed to really once you sign. Okay. That's interesting now, Catherine you are apparently involved in a class action lawsuit that you filed against bird and lime and their manufacturer. And that's correct now what is what are you trying to get them for we alleged gross negligence, aiding and abetting assaults? New sense. How does it aid in a better salt? If you're walked pedestrian walking down a street, and then you, and you jerk out of the way. Yeah. That's an assault. You were in imminent fear of being a physical harm. Yeah. I know the nuisance thing is true. Now, again, we have listeners from all over the country and all over the world. And if you don't know this stuff is happening the way, these scooters work is that you rent them from these kiosks, and you dry even on a kiosk. They've topless there. They they are just left wherever the last user. Yes, leaves it. So it could be it could be on the median strip. It could be on the sidewalk it could be. Be at the end of somebody. I mean, they just literally drop them and what they're on where we have in the morning, then are banned. But it's they run out of. Money, right? Wherever the user wants to get off in the middle of bike paths and stuff really is kind of crazy there in the way up. Everybody must have seen these silly things by now, but in looks like escape board except for on the front of it. It has a handle of vertical bar post. Thank you with a handlebar on the post and and their electric. Yes. And there's also this weird gig economy tie-in to it, which is both kind of cool and kind of strange, which is that people earn extra cash by picking up those scooters when they're abandoned and bringing them to some central location, right? They take them to their back to their apartments and they use their landlords electricity to charge them. Money for that though. Right. Oh, this gets ugly. I it's not that I'm not in favor of them. But there's gotta be a way that we use them without being. So at risk. I think there's a you know, what it is. There's like a tourist mentality about them, which is like a less Vegas mentality. Like amount of town. I can do whatever I want. I'm not going to get caught. And then I'm gonna go back to my regular life. I'm going to be law abiding. So there really is like a wild west feel to you know, when you say tourists that's interesting because so many of the people who call who are injured are literally tourists in town from out of state where they don't have these things and they see scooters. Oh, like they're on every. So they look like. Nobody's wearing a helmet. There's kids on them. It looked so easy. And they hop on it, and they have no idea of the danger there about to encounter. Yeah. I yeah. I don't ride with other people because no one else would even ride my car to be honest with you. Your car. You're you're more competent driver than you think. I put a student driver sticker on the back of my scooter. Yeah. Just just for our listeners, Paula dozen fact student driver sign on the back of her car. Yeah. And it's keeps people away from me. It's just better. It's just better for everyone involved. You don't have one on your scooter, though, I don't realize making that by the way, I feel like I follow the rules about everything except for I cannot signal because if I take my hand off I will fall down it's signaling while on the scooter a law, you should signal you should use hand signals when you're writing over here. That's very problem. These scooters are very unstable very tippy. They're often have loose screws. You own your own scooter, you take care of it. You know, what the conditional, and there's nothing I don't what to taking care. And fact, I'm surprised she charges it. I know I I do mine is really not mine like made in China and sort of made to break down. I think I overcharged one of my overcharge one. Time because I didn't know such a thing could happen. And then the battery just is done, and we contacted the Chinese company, and they're like, yeah. No. We're not gonna do anything about that. Okay. Thanks because I just wanna buy new battery for. Yeah. We don't sell betters. So questioned the quality of your scooter. I might have a poor quality chronic you, probably do. Yeah. Big possibility if you could plug it in and leave it and break the battery by leaving it plugged in. Yeah. That's not a good and batteries, not replaceable. If you hit shitty scooter if you hit two year olds if you hit a bump the battery cut out for a second. It does not about hitting bumps. He minutes to work back into that. Because that's rare. The lawyer part of you. That's good at like knowing jets on the bonds. So okay. But these scooters have these tiny little wheels, and they're not airfield like bicycle, no, there's no show solid or wheels. They scam. No give they're not forgiving. Yeah. So if you go over even any Mina roadway inn perfection a pebble. Yeah. You could go flying. Yeah. Because these things we have a lot of calls from people who were injured when they're transitioning from the street up a driveway. It's called the apron of driveway, you know, that slope and there's a little curb to get up onto that. They there's little that little one inch half inch those that front will it's that writers lying while. Yeah. Mine making with bigger wheels. Why not I don't know? Maybe it's more expensive maybe cheer for them. Energy-efficient mine one time when the the battery cut out it just and they don't coast. It's in the way that it is not like escape board is like if the battery dies. It's very hard to just push it with your foot like you would escape board. A non electric scooter. Right. It doesn't coast hardly at all feature. I don't know maybe. But so I was riding my one time and the battery just got out to stop for. No good reason. And and I went flying I've managed to get to sevens. All the time has actually recalled at scooters in believe in New Zealand and Switzerland because the scooters were dying mid right? What was happening apparently was the software was rebooting in the middle of the ride. Wow. Would just stop on a dime and the past right or not tossed off lead. If there was a diamond vault. I could made some money on it. It was. Yeah. Enforcements got to be one of the big problems. Right. I've never seen anybody stopped on a scooter for doing things, and they know running bike paths or police would be giving tickets all day long. They don't seem to mind ticketing my car on street cleaning day. I mean, they should I don't I don't know why they're not enforcing a lot. But they're not. I think over the summer there was some handing out of tickets, and Santa Monica. I'm sure another cities, but there's not a lot of time spent giving out tickets, I wrote the Santa Monica bike that this summer. I don't mind bragging about that a little bit. And I had my son my nephew with me. And it's just the most wonderful thing the bike path that runs along the beach except this summer it was littered with scooters. And I mean littered in that it wasn't just the people winning by on scooters, but the abandoned scooters in the middle of the path fairy, they literally just go. Okay. I'm done. Imagine that with car like a rental car. Okay. I'm done with this. He's get out. It's like on the four five in the right lane. So what is I wanted to go with that car? Yeah. But is there any move on to enforce these things more is that just a well? I think I've recommended that the city Santa Monica that they should be enforcing the laws because people if the laws are not enforced. No one's going to bother following the law. Right. Exactly. When when birds started they were the first one in Santa Monica wasn't there. A point at which that Santa Monica city council is like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. This is quite all sorts and find berm back and just pay them a whole bunch of money, and whatever you wanna do. Go ahead and three hundred thousand dollars was this definers bird coming back and saying bird was fine by the city of Santa Monica and paid three hundred thousand dollars. But the Paul's theories that they then came back and gave even more money to change the city council. I don't know, you don't know. Okay. But they change the things that they were fined for. No, I don't think anything's changed. These things are incredibly dangerous. They have such shoddy maintenance practices maintenance is a big problem now to huge problem. There there. What what described as reactive instead of proactive and nobody's scooter breaks gets brought in by them. But they don't check the scooter between rights the scooter manufacturer instructions you can buy these things Amazon, and you can download the manufacturer's instructions. And it says check them between every right? It's a store them indoors stored indoors mindset, lean right checking for him between rides this. That's the other shoe. They're relying on their manuals and Chinese anyway, they're relying on their customers are lay people to to know what to check. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you to make sure the screws are tight make sure the handlebars are tight make sure the brain. No, there were screws until this moment. This problem. Screws. Longtime about stone make a balloon animal. Oh, she. Oh, she. Balloon animals Suzy east prepare yourself disappointment. Now, do you have to have a driver? You don't have to have a license of any kind rightous California says you must have a driver's license. Absolutely. You have to know the rules of the road rules of the road because I was thinking of writing on the road Yar except the usually writing on the side. Well, said okay, great. No. You're not supposed to Ryan the site one. Now, by the way, this is crazy place, right anyways. Because the sidewalk has the breaks in the sidewalk. Yes, it has cracks it has elevations offsets it has pedestrians. It has your. It's very dangerous. Not when they see the scooter coming into net pedestrian so you'll get ton of business from this. I've spoken to between two hundred three hundred accident victims over the last year. Wow. Recall, you do you have on the back of the scooter you advertising. A sign on a bus that has. Accident days. Yeah. I mean, it seems to me if bird thought they could make money off of it. They would let you advertise because it sounds like they're just right? It's not proactive in any way there. Now, it's like, well, you know, we'll take in the teeth. Every so often we make enough money of the other rooms that it doesn't matter. So I think if you approach them they would give you some. Yeah. I would put the signs like on the pavement itself facing up. So that when people relied with the pavement, there's your sign. That's a good ending kind of stuff. Yeah. Now, that's the sound of my last lid to my balloon inflator device in your bunny burns, plenty can you? Give me my family. We're taking time to have you played making the lid to my awful sound mice. It's not it's audio medium. This is out of policy crappy balloon pump malfunctioning, by the way that we get injured by this balloon pump. Would you be able to help me Sudesh it out of these balloon problem makers if it's a bad injured about it's got to be bad bad injury. So when people come to you to you ask them like, okay how bad injury. And. Yes, I do. I don't really on the worst injury. The more excited. You get. I wouldn't say get how much advocate worse. The injury the more. They're entitled to compensation much blood. Was there? How much blood was like ghoul in frustration. I hurt Paulo with that pump. And we do the manufact-. I'd say she consume you, honestly. Yeah. I would rather to manufacture. Okay. As you can see what making right now is scooter, you're not I am. And it's got the writer has no helmet. And there's going to be a huge injury here. Well. Awful. Now, Adam is of a belief that balloon animals in audio medium are worthless. And I entirely disagree. They're relatively not not so many people in Twitter about my balloon animals stay too because they like you. It's almost like painting a kindergartner stuff to the refrigerator pinning a kindergarten like drawing by by a preschooler frigerator. Oh, oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. They just like you Paul it or giving you a Pat on the head about these balloon. Always liked my kids. Do you put your kids on you? Don't like it when you put it on the refrigerator, Mike, it's very very talented. There. It is so different than everyone else June. Children don't need him. It's. Their cranial plates, very strong on it. But away because you are lawyer if this cough does come from mold can I sue my landlord? You may have a claim. Oh boy. So yeah. To that mole doctor last week poured cold water on that idea took told you that's not really probably hoping that might cuff grows in intensity as we're here today. We're the cough better. Better. The climb your calming impressive like quarter of law. You could you could sue anybody for that. Call I broke a rib coughing last year. And when I went to the urgent care, the doctor there told me that's not possible. And my assistant window said she never heard you cough. So it is beautiful. That is scooter with the helmets writer, Catherine and be aware that you're under oath. Do see that in that balloon animal you do. Yes. Of course, because you're not on your own. She was in terrible. All right that we wanna do one more thing, which is are you willing to do and you can say, no the butterfinger taste test. Okay. So we're going to do more bits of physical comedy and visual business that will leave our audience completely zone dental. That's not true. It's not true. So all right. Give you okay. Giving Catherine two different kinds of butter fingers. They're not labeled, ladies and gentlemen. Eko your first one. So those right ahead label. She has no idea. Whether it's the new improved recipe and use finger quotes when I say that or whether it is the standard recite. I I would have to say that Catherine seems to be the first person who's really being judicious about this really giving it a taste, really. Around experiencing the mouse feel kinda thing it's because the law is her wife. Okay. And then. She's ready for the other one. I love that you brought to zip lock bags in cleverly coated, their labels. Can't remember here is butterfinger number two, right? But if finger number two, she's looking doubtful. She's looking doubtful. There's no question in my mind. Okay. Wow. The second one you didn't even give no question. Okay. The first one was better, exactly. Baby. Yeah. Hands down. Massage therapist really went for the original butterfinger and not the new improve on. And I think part of the reason the massage therapist may have thought the new improvement which better as that. I pushed a little bit on his hand, and that may have affected. Everybody knows that that you're flavor receptors or connected to this palm nerves. Yeah. Exactly that have been maybe his no question in your mind, you know, hands down. No, no question. The second one is almost defensive second one is like pretend obsolete thrown are you a fan of butter fingers? Right. Remind me of my childhood everyone's a fan of. Why you can't really change recipes? Because even if it is objectively better, there's better people wanna taste the thing that they've always had exactly say really get a lot of very deep truths tonight. Thank you for going on the record with let me ask you something in the cases that you have have you have you sued bird or felt a class action lawsuit against bird lineman. They're manufacturer. So we're still very interviews. So you're very early stages desperately. We have another fifty or sixty clients were seriously injured that we will be filing lawsuits on while. All right. And we get calls every day read it every day. You know, what if I fly off of my Chinese made scooter, I'm calling. Okay, right. Yeah. There's no question any do. You have any pending suits against companies from China, the other scooters made in China made turn it. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, no deals with China. All right. Well, thank you. Kaplan lira for guiding around speeding scooters, Paula what advice can you give our listeners about birds, and we don't mean the kind of li- Jacqueline ready house band. Could I have some background French horn for my scooter summary? Heping yet which made me about the scooter invasion, but there are laws for electric scooters. You have to have a license to ride one you have to ride one person per scooter. You have to ride on the street. You cannot push people down. You cannot drive in front of cars. You cannot steal things when you ride one. There are laws if you're Hooker or drug peddler, it's still illegal even when you're on a scooter scooters supposed to be maintained screws. They have no shocks. There is no way to signal without falling off which is kind of signal. I guess. Gathering layers, a personal injury attorney and partner at MaGee and associates in Santa Monica, California, Kathryn thanks so much for being on our show. All right. We will be back right after this. Thank you, Dan for that. Scathing report, as you know, mex- drive is coming up March eighteenth to March twenty ninth which has some folks pretty excited, but as families around the world, get ready to celebrate this season of giving community and quality podcasts. Some are wondering if it's just too much. They are some people are all for comedy and culture, but with forty five shows offering hundreds of hours of bonus content. Plus, all the max fun meet ups taking place around the world, some people think it's too much while other people think it sounds totally awesome. I took granddaughter to the mall to get her picture taken and the mall. Pod ferry was short. And I I'm just going to say, I'm sorry. But everyone knows the pot. Various, oh, well, I think we should just leave it there. Until next time. Here's the news. You need to know. Max drive runs from March eighteenth twenty nine be sure to listen to all of your favorite podcasts. I know I will. Have you ever watched movie so bad you just needed to talk to somebody about it? Well here at the flop house, we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. Yeah. You don't have to do anything. We'll watch it, and we'll talk it. We do the hard work, featuring the beautiful vocal talents of Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington and me. America's rascal Elliott Ceylan, new episodes every other Saturday at maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcast dude by. Feels like a FOX doesn't it? Okay. We're gonna do one special Boersting before we close things out in that is we have a special guest tonight. We have my agent. Josh pollock. Josh was able to get me this podcast. That's how good this guy's good. Okay. Now. Josh, welcome. You're going to do our butterfinger challenge. Paula. I mean, I when I went in on the addition for nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. You almost didn't get it. It looked bad. Yeah. It look bad. But you know, this is like a fast, smooth tartar. All right. Got that one out from under you. Thank you for. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta say Joan you're a damn good Paula Poundstone. Yeah. Josh just managed noble you out of the way. John didn't even wanna be Jesse on Toy Story anymore. She wanted the starring role. Nobody listens to Poundstone would've had that. She was much better than me. But my agent. Did his phone magic? My Lord work those phones and got you the roller Paula Poundstone on this podcast. Honestly, and the whole deal was made with nothing, but a hint chick incredible. Why we haven't been paid a penny? It's true. We have blown this this week's entire budget on these butterfinger bar you wanna hand over to let him. Let listeners and that means you to your old right now. My Asian Josh Pollick. Is about to take the butterfinger taste test. He has no idea. Whether I'm giving him the new improved recipe or the traditional good there. We can't one point that we'd have butterfinger as a sponsor, but that's just never going to happen now working on it. Working on it that should be happening. All right. The lays gentlemen, he's eighties milking. His his eyebrows are going up like to say like. Good. Yeah. Like he like that. Okay. This. I think it's been Carl that Josh played Mikey on the life commercial many years ago. Did not. Yeah. That was. Yeah. You're mikey. But you're dead. What do you mean? You're dead. You didn't remember that? You died that Mike. No, he didn't. There was those are the big. Trio when I was growing up what people said, Mike. You know, how you digest from life cereal? Do you know how you doing? Did you not hear this was this? Just your neighborhood down the east coast. So you do notice could see it on your face. You. Eight pop rocks. And soda, right? And it exploded in your mouth kill you all that. That's what happened making. I was told that when I was a kid Mike from life cereal and soda guide. Not just to make you scared. No, I have. But was honestly was it was the butter fingers. Put over the top. Okay. Great. I I was pretty good. He has no idea. He thinks it was pretty good. He has no idea. And here comes the second blind taste tesla. Jomon? Okay. So he's chewing light says looking at full. No now looks. Now, it doesn't look as. Favorite ever know? Had a grimace you're now you're trying to coach the witness. No, he's grimacing. I liked the first one better Santa. So I believe my masculine over. They used to be believed either no score is forty-two before to also tell though as Intel. Because the masseuse fell three fella said that was harder in the other one fell apart. Right news in safely bit into the second one. You knew that was the one that Pala light. Okay. So is it. So what is it? Just to be contrary. Is that correct contrary three to two with an asterisk three to two with with a cheated. You cheated on. That was my phone ways. Josh Pollock whom there is a place in the current administration. You got you feel generally look you've got this job that doesn't that some knuckles to be bared in order to do that. Yeah. Is that security guy here? Knuckles Nichols Glickman's right over there. Yeah. You might wanna get him some work. All right. Our show is listener supported which means we want people to listen, we want people to listen, and my theory. Yes, Paul that. If every nobody listens to Paula Poundstone listener told a friend. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. We'd have ten more listeners in no time. Okay. Here is some simple sample dialogue are talking to a friend about our podcast. Okay. You've been writing a lot of sample dialogue. Because this is how we grow our listeners to say in these in these circumstances, right because they want to talk to their friends about guessing, you know, times it can be an awkward conversation. So. Listeners friend. Wow, this room looks fantastic. Did you paint it yourself listener? Yes. Thanks. I did listeners friend my gosh. I love the trim weight is the ceiling done in different code one in stripes. God mclinville, oh that must've almost killed you listener, not at all. I lied down my back on scaffolding. And I listened to nobody listens to Paula Poundstone, the whole time they're over thirty episodes and more to come. I was sorry to finish painting. Laugh myself. Silly if great, well, I also kept the windows closed. Okay. That's great dialect, Paul. I wanna ask you this has been sort of a guideline you want people to specifically have this very conversation. No, this is the conversation. They should have. Well, then I need to point out once again that is a specific set of circumstances that involves somebody meticulously painting their ceiling while lying on their back and listen to. Her show that I can't imagine that it's really going to be a thing that a lot of listeners have can I just say something to you? And by the way, two year old listen up, okay? Inch by inch. I ro I'm going to make my garden grow. Sank robot row, you're going to promote our little show. That's right. That's exactly right. Yeah. It's one listener at a time. I don't even think we're gonna get one out of this one Paula we are and they're going to have a fantastic room. Okay. Well, thank you for that. Helpful bit of advice. I have some advice while Apolo and me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Ooh. That's good advice. Helpful all right. All right. I suppose that was helpful. Yes. It was nobody listened to Poundstone is hosted by Adam Felber and wait. It is. Up there. Nobody listens abounds on those by Paula, Poundstone and your history. Adam Felber produced by ball, abound. Stone at Felber body burns, Ken Lizanne, Nick. And Tony Anita home technical direction by Ray horsemen and mixing by Anthony. I'll farro special. Thanks to tonight's house. Span Jacqueline, rainy, you were fantastic. And thanks again to our guest, Michael Greenspan, and Catherine layer and special guest. Judge pollick? Thank you are headed security is Joan knuckles Glickman transcription services for the show provided by transcribe me for your special. Paula poundstone. Transcribe me discount. Use code Paula Poundstone, win placing your order at transcribe me dot com. That's our show for tonight. Well, somebody please listen to me. So you really, Mike? Can I come back? Tester. The taste. Apparently, Josh has eight Noel day. I am fucking star makes makes percentage of what I make keep that mind. Yeah. So. Little piece of butterfinger is always had this month. Josh if only get me a podcast. Maximum fund dot org, comedy, and culture. Artist owned listener supported.

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