Kris Jenner, Sean Hayes

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hi IT'S ELLEN DEGENERES. Welcomed with my podcast. We're GONNA listen to some of the best moments from the show and it's going to be hosted by four executive producers that I love happy listening on Today's episode of Ellen on the Go Kris Jenner spills on her family and keeping up with the blank That was a good segment Sean. Hayes gives advice to Ellen's guest hosts an ellen guest gives his girlfriend the proposal of her dreams and Ellen plays a round of was I in that really funny new segment that we're going to be doing special repeat podcast guests on the podcast guest. Genie Klickovic changes lives Sir. Yeah and she wouldn't leave the chair so sitting there for two days two days to be on this end. Same clothes yeah. I'm Mary Connolly. I'M KEVIN EARLY IN THE SECOND. Glavin Andy Lasts near your host and before we get started. It's been a tumultuous tumultuous week in the Stock Market Kevin Stock Corner. I'm GONNA give you one stock update. Jc PENNEY JASON JC. Penney down to sixty seven cents a share sixty seven percents I bought it at eleven dollars source. I would just say my my sense of a company is that when the stock goes down to zero which it's very close. You can't sell it anymore. Mind off market but I just want to say you know then ran into the Catholic church where I was raised. Here we go. Yeah it was really believe in we believe in angels we believe in angels And I would say if there if there was an angel among us angel. You're so sweet genius. That's where I met very America. Thank you that's I was raised in the Catholic Church and I go for you. Mary great they love me. And I I was raised to believe. You know. They're saints in their centers saints and Sinners losers and winners. Yeah Yeah and I'm just going to say there's some of both in couldn't whether certainly centers train carries saints in Senators winners whores and gamblers. What what fast it took a turn into a Bruce springsteen song you WanNa talk about Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner is the matriarch of the generic name brand family. She is yeah matriarch. There you go. I was looking for another word. She is the leader and she's also interestingly Ellen's friend and I say interestingly because if you would've asked me say ten years ago do you think in Kris Jenner would be friends. I would go probably not. And they've become she. She knows aside and sees a side of Kris Jenner. That I don't even think is on Kris Jenner show and she really really likes her and the whole family likes her. Anyway she was here. She stopped by for one of her visits and she as usual updated us a little bit on her daughters. Take a listen show. One of the things I love about. Your family is your open. You'll you'll talk about anything at all. Completely one hundred percent honest. Yes so now. It's a game called keeping up with the blank. You just have to fill in the blank. Okay my favorite daughter is Oh man. Come on of the day. Yep Today today Khloe. All righty disconnect everybody's. Tv's tomorrow at the end of the day. Nothing relaxes me like a good stiff vodka. That's right Belvedere Belvedere. Gino's I always have to stock Belvedere when I call blank. They never pick up probably is nobody. Everyone picks up highly really. Yeah she didn't pick up not a lot. I wish Kim would stop posting pictures of blank out with. I don't I don't know yes. You do. Her cooking photos so many cooking with the Tokyo. My my next grandchild will come from Courtney Kylie. When you think you're asking me I think court anti well. Maybe maybe Kendall Oh sometimes you just need a quick laugh smart bit or one joke to get you through the day. And that's what Netflix is new. Podcast NETFLIX is a daily joke is here for. It'll bring you one joke from one of your favorite comedians every single day everyday. You'll get a joke or two from when your favorite comedians including Ali Wong Bill Burr. Leslie Jones. John Mullany Chris. Rock Kevin Hart all the greats. Your podcast APP is about to get a whole lot. Funnier new episodes of Netflix is a daily joke drops every single day. Yes that's right. Every single day subscribe now on Apple. Podcasts spotify stitcher pocket casts or wherever? You're listening to US right now. Nice work really wanted to see it. It's all over today or so. I should say last Friday. Which was I think the day after Kris Jenner appearance. That little sequence of questions was like everywhere. You'll news on news. Yeah specifically who? She thinks going to be the next one to have a baby yeah. I was surprised by that answer. Genie what are you? WanNa talk about? while I was GonNa say I was babysitting two little kids backstage during the Christian or segment so I couldn't even watch it but I saw it on everything kids. I was babysitting the family. The people that got engaged lobby family. Oh my they're just show yeah. I wasn't on camera on the live shop so before Christmas in December. We do these twelve days of giveaway. Shows are and once in a while. We'll just we'll just pick a family that seems particularly durable and we'll do a live shot to their house and they'll just and for the sole purpose of them just being the audience and they get what we give the in studio correct it sound. We found this family Rachel in Dane. Who thought they were going to be? Cisco ING skyping only the technology is Cisco and they were going to be going with a producer on on the show wrecked and when their screen lit up and showed the feed. They were all sitting on their couch facing the screen. The the MOM Rachel had a a young boy in her lap and the Dad. Dane had another young boy in his lap. Screen popped up and it was ellen and Rachel mom a dropped right the floor off the couch to her in the floor with a child and it was just magical. We'll play that clip. But I beg you to go check your dvr and watch because it's really fantastic. Take a listen. How's it going fantastic? How are you you you're beautiful? Let me who's on your lap. Your I hear you all right Dana. I think you should take both children over there on your lap. She keeps forgetting he's holding one okay. Today Is Day. Eleven of our twelve days of giveaways and one thing is we want. We want you to stick around and we're going to give these guys everything we wanna give you everything that we're giving away today so deign take that child away and also another thing. I want y'all to come because you said you wanted to meet me and that's on your refrigerator so I wanna fly y'all out here so that we can meet okay so in that live shot. Ellen invites them to come to the show so we have them come to the show and they're sitting in the audience. Nothing more is going to happen. Only more was going to happen and they just are like the kind of people you WanNa meet every day of your life. They really are. I mean every family that I've ever surprised is truly wonderful but there are certain families that I you know we do the show. I hang out with them afterwards and I don't WanNA leave. And they are an example of that family. They just raised. Ellen really really enjoyed that families. I believe told you Mary in the break after that I want to do more with. She was like she said. I love that family. She said which is doesn't surprise for. I'm just so happy okay. So how has it been at home since we got in touch crazy overjoyed so thankful? I've never seen this one so excited to sing. Ever saw himself on TV. Tell US oh he's jumping up and down like me. Ella on Oh man. You can't put a price on that I. It was Christmas right. You GotTa what was your favorite of all the stuff we gave you. Everything was amazing. Appreciate everything so much looking at you and seeing you in my living room talking so my name correctly like I that that trump everything that is the best thing ever you. Can't I knew realized that you had lost control of the child that was on your lap? We will wear that. There was a it was kind of like it was a shuffling around. I don't really think I was aware of anything I think. Actually outside of my body looking at things happen. I wasn't really. I was hoping on you. Yeah fine you have two adorable children. So how long have you been married? Not Married actually. We're not we did things backwards a little bit. But it's totally fine best partner the best mother I could possibly ask for. We marry me all right. What else should we talk about kids? Well I like Sean. Hayes is here I do too. I love the raiders. Love right for him. He's so fast so funny which I know we've talked about before. But he came back for I think as fifth time guests hosting and had some wonderful advice for other guests hosts. Absolutely take a listen since. I'm now a guest hosting expert. I thought I'd take some time to review Ellen's other guests house and dish out a little advice. My first tip is never underestimate yourself. Look what happened when Ellie. Kemper guest hosted. Here's how this game works. All you have to do is roll this ball into that hole and if you do you will win a prize. So does that seem easy? Sounds I'm gonNA take care of. I'm going to demonstrate I to show you how easy it is love her. I love that I think Ellie won ten thousand dollars which means she made more for that one. Show that I've made for all five of mine. My second tip is to play your strengths. Josh Gad was here he's a Broadway performer like myself. Here's how he opened the show the show no place rather go to laugh and dance and have a little fun too. There's no place dead rather be bigger. I know everyone's name. Isn't that right? Ricky Great was it was brilliant. He gave it his all any nailed it but he forgot Dave's name which is an amateur mistake. Dave and I go way back in that right Dave. I'm Paul that stink. Oh you we love Sean Hayes. That's that is for sure. Such a nice guy like getting to know him a little bit like he's he is so he's like Andy has brain like this. Oh it's so fast. The Joe Dini the jokes just like reflexively say. Nice things about me here at the been looking at your phone. This whole multitasking. No that's why people are always on your show. That's not you're not multitask. That's why the biggest complaint have about the Ellen chose why am I in hold so long because he can't really juggle more than one call at a time so my apologies to all our calls so I have a topic so so we're in here talking the other day. There were no microphones in here. We were just talking and we stumbled across a piece of news. Yes and I tried to ask a number of questions about the piece of news and I was politely. Put OFF I was signed. I said and I was told. Let's not talk about it. Let's wait for a podcast to talk about it right. That is correct and I would like to revisit a piece of news. He's of new piece of news is not saying the ending and just say it involves Kevon. It involves Kevin Kevin out a wedding for number in Philadelphia December Philadelphia cheese wedding. Yes okay one of our producers. Here kimmy got yes. Lovely couple tracey gold ID producers. Her husband were there Tracy likes a slot machine almost as much as I do seriously. Oh Tracy over loves to sample. Thanks Tracy Engineer. Best Friend and Mary is in our best friend group. I occasionally hearing about this. I'm sorry but it's the truth. Okay that's fine at the rehearsal dinner. They Google casinos near US and they find a casino point four miles away from where we're having dinner in your in downtown Philadelphia Rehearsal. Dinner of your great friend Chris Gucci. They have a new. Bolton and Ryan. This is the new born. She was probably four months at the time. My son's learning to us right now because I can tell him. It involves gambling and great. Listen so they have a child that got childcare this night so they go out to the casinos and Mike. Tell me if they have dragon link favorite game so they report back. They do have dragon like boy as the wedding drinking a lot. Because as we mentioned it's Coochie Amy's wedding into Philadelphia and on December twentieth. I believe Yup twenty. Yeah Twenty first so then. The wedding is over. Reception is over a lot of drunk people. I didn't get that drunk that night. What what time of night is it when it all is two o'clock two thirty in the morning Okay but but you didn't get that drunk drunk so I like that action by the way. Oh Yeah 'cause I don't like gambling ramtruck important part mystery. Oh so Chris exhausted he goes to bed. Mike would you mind if I go point for miles away? He's like no not at all so I sneak out three o'clock in the morning all myself to a casino that is smaller than our officers. It is very strange and very tiny. It's river Philly. It doesn't favorite game. They haven't okay so sounds to me like it was on. Did you see a bridge from the Casino? Your could see a bridge. So that was the Delaware River. And you're looking at the best British correct. So there's these two door ladies who are still dressed up from the night before and they had never seen someone gamble fifty dollars a spin. Which is what I was doing drag. I'm like does he make a lot of it does. And they're losing their minds. Because I kept getting a little tiny jackpots that would added up then. One of them goes. Do you know you have enough points already for you. Have to sign up for time to sign up for a player's card when you get a jackpot. They're OK so I had a player card having bolt machines that I'm playing and the players cards to Juno. You already have enough points for two buffets. I was like Oh my gosh. That's right so the next time I hit the Jackpot which is four thousand dollars. I snuck I asked the lady who do my paperwork if she could. Mike are able to transfer points for sure so I'm glad they're card so I gave the two ladies enough points to have buffets over the moon and they go well. If you like this machine we just got a brand new one that you can even more back. Casinos atypical went from good to great. I went terrible so they show me where it is they leave. It's now like somewhere between four thirty five thirty in the morning starting to get light out. Probably there's windows in there so I probably am up seven or eight thousand dollars dragging link. Yeah Okay Yeah that's me. I'm skipping home going. I'm upset when I hear this. A new game. I've never played called dollar storm so he doesn't like a dollar store exactly instantly lose three thousand instantly. It's a hundred and twenty five dollars a spin. Which isn't even clemmie right. But I was on their money so I try it so whatever I was down to 'cause I stuck in a ticket I think there was an exactly one hundred twenty five. It was like probably two thousand one twenty five left I take. It sounds like I'll give it one more spin just so it'd be an even. I can cash out okay. Spend bonus now yep and then I've never played gave pops up six free spins. I'm like six three spins. Ching Ching CA Chino. Cleopatra gives you fifteen spins and everything's Times three. This is stupid so spend one zero dollars. Spend two hundred twenty five dollars. My Bet back your bet back line. It's been three zero dollars. Spent four zero dollars. I'm now furious at these. Two days left this makes means I spend five different story. What happens little treasure chest POPs up and then at times two times two times two times two perfectly across the center line and I understand what that means. No all I know is good. Good all the little numbers in the lower right hand corner start telling and you know the decimal. That shows you the pennies. My brain was so tired and probably a little drunk but my brain could understand that the desma was in the wrong spot. I thought I had one six thousand one hundred dollars. Six six thousand two hundred dollars right there. It was sixty two thousand. No no know it's so upsetting. No it's so upsetting. I know a bonus so you walked home then. Shut up genie off not against the Gambler. The horror is the guy comes over normally. They like just start processing it look at me. He goes how could we give you a check? I might be closing. They've never crazy and I'm I'm dying in. The machines are still there so you get paid so I took fifty two thousand in check and Ted Tang cash. Okay Jeannie space wait. I was about to get down payment for a house while I was about to get married. You're married one week later. And what did you say that six years? That's funny because I'm from Philly story that relates to this. My parents sold their house. In the odds. You know in the in the two thousands I think somewhere maybe around two thousand and the they got less than that for House No. Yeah Oh my Gosh County. Moldova you were going home from Philly and a week later. You're getting you and Chris were getting married in Mexico for the second. Wow it was really lucky to get married that we because CUCCI won the five dollar raffle that we had days before his wedding. That's right I got married during those two. We don't know it was crazy I actually coochie and I have been trying to do a dinner since we've come back from our wedding so I don't think I've told this story yet really well. He doesn't know what happens in the morning when you thank you Mary. I bound home. I'm so excited. I made sure that Uber was outside. Because it was now like six o'clock and I wasn't sure what the area I was in and I had a lot of cash in my pocket so I get home. I tell Chris he's good job. Baby I think goes back to sleep. No I could've killed him. I didn't he didn't really hear he didn't he didn't hear it. You don't care he don't care because I don't think he wants to encourage gambling. There's probably nobody wants to be married to an addict Mary right but this is a fanatically married to. If you're gonNA come home with a big relief fund that is my wife would like me to be married to that kind of addicts to be. She would very much like all of your life like that. It was so crazy. Wow do we have clipper now. I don't know I told such a long story. It was fantastic story. Well I do like should we play the Ellen was I in that? That's fun to tell you before Kevin tells. The story was a great idea from. I think one of our writers. Benda what I'm going to say to you is. It's GonNa be fun to listen to and then go watch it on the show to really want casual so I think I think you're right. I think it was bend ahead Done some research and found some clips of Ellen that none of us remember doing right so we were wondering if shooting remember doing them because she's notoriously tells us she has no recollection of that. She truly is Dorrie. Except it's long-term Ellen has an excellent short term memory. She does not have a long long term memory and then when you when she jogs it she'll tell you stories about it a little bit but she often forgets things that she's done in her own career say that. Allen has a very peculiar memory. She remembers some things vividly and some things. I would say that's accurate. I've been completely pushed from her brain exactly so we found these clips and we put her to the test in front of the audience. She had never seen these before. No had no clue if she was or wasn't in these clips note. So as Ed said you must go watch us because you'll get to see a very young l. into generous and some old clips quite funny and you can play along with us at home. The game works We'RE GONNA show. I am a movie a TV show a commercial. It's going to pop up on the screen and then we're all GonNa Guess. If I've been in it and you think this is unfair I have an advantage. But I'm more like Dory than you possibly know. Okay I really have no memory so this is a fun game for all of us. I think let's see okay sesame street. Oh all right. Lisa are you gonNA guess you? I'll let y'all guess I okay. You were not in that. Not In sesame street you were eastern you think. Did you see me on it Oh well then I'll agree with you. That's how I'm going to follow everyone else's lead. I was on it. You saw me all right. Let's take a look. I was on sesame street. Ohio Mo- hey wait a minute do you hear that he wa Ellen and Elmo they're sort of the same thank you Dr Ramin yet. You remember that okay. Let's see another one kind. What do you think I'm GonNa just go again with the know all right? Stick with the nose Diane. Have I been in that? Go with the no okay. Well I don't really familiar to me and I really don't remember doing commercials except for the recent ones I've done but I think I have. I feel like I have done that. Okay so let's see okay very fine. No not trading on an order is sixty four. Well I suppose so yes. He could look friends. I'm so glad to her. Yup where are you pulling your ear on a podcast? That's not genie's here subscribed today on apple podcast or spotify or over. You're listening right. DoN'T FORGET TO WATCH ELLEN. Weekdays from or even more Orland Fund by partition. Thank you we would so love to know more about to hear at Ellen on the go please head over to wondering dot com slash survey. It's a really short survey. That will help. Make this show better. The wonder DOT COM Slash Survey W. O. N. D. E. R. Y. dot com slash survey. 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