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Their medical professionals can provide birth control information and care STI testing treatment. Emergency contraception and more planned. Parenthood knows your care. Can't wait not now and not ever. S- ago hit and book a telehealth appointment with a planned. Parenthood doctor or nurse today and learn more at planned. Parenthood dot org slash telehealth again planned parenthood dot org slash telehealth. Check them out all right. Let's start the show from the more until night. Who Almost said bit. Stay inside until June July but Andrew Please. We feel the warmth of the sun the girls just WanNa have the girls. Just WanNa have that sally really some Roan is Don. The girls and gays have older girls. Just WanNa have brown eye man we do. We miss it. Those were the days we didn't know how good we had a back. Then we used to make fun of branch while we were spoiled. Yes look got the last fucking laugh though. Lord back to the PODCAST. Yes I I am Kim Cole and I am Khloe Bailey. And this is three. Thank you for coming book. Thank you for welcoming yourselves. Back are nonsense and we're GONNA keep it real regular this week. The US starting with black excellence. This week it's going to some fancy cooking Mo- foes in the Detroit area Chef maxell hardy of coup Caribbean fusion. According to the GRIO DOT COM linked up with Horatio Williamstown Dacian to feed families living in shelters all around Detroit and not only did. He lent his cooking culinary talents to this cause but also linked up with other restaurants and chefs around the city including places like the Black Detroit. Cousos chicken waffles Bangkok ninety-six and literally so many others. So shout out to black folks in Detroit helping other people out amy using your talents and your gifts to do great things for people in this bullshit. Time living in so shout out to y'All yes yes theus was that said we can move on into our pop. Culture segment has called scary tops to bottom in the dark. This week scare us the we are coming fresh off of another versus battle. This last one took place on the weekend was. Nellie versus ludicrous is about pace. Yes that did happen. Yes von Dutch. I did happen and I didn't tune in I mean I clicked on when it like had justice started because I just happened to have been on my phone when it began was like. Okay let me go and check in by an early. They hadn't even connected yet. They're still trying to figure out how to work. It's so like pay like the seventy one like I don't know how many of these the negative done in focus still don't know how to like comments or it's I mean do should either but I don't want to so yes. Yeah I mean it. Looks like ludicrous? And his team tried like it looked like they went through the effort of like making sure. The sound was ready. And why was stabling all that once? Nellie got there like I can't handle it. If the connection is so bad that it makes me wish I wasn't here so I stick around for too long. 'cause Nellie kept having like a B issues and all this but yes. They said he was reporting live from Metro. Pcs I I was gonna be kind right. It was like hey all So how was in each Palooza and they were like No I asked who won and they told me that Luta wind by landslides including some R Kelly apologists as R Kelly. Sympathize comments he made something I guess he said he r Kelly but he wouldn't have around his kids are somehow whatever comment that could have been said to be said dog there. I'm guessing it was something they are. Kelly wrote produced are featured on that was played. I don't know but he was there with his fro in his right train. Right Triangle shaped sideburns. And it just sounds like everyone had decent time. So congratulations. Yeah they're currently trying to figure out who is going to be the next one you know. Super Beets and Timberland's are like the I guess the dean of instagram versus. I don't even know what you would. Whatever but they're like facilitating and these battles and apparently are looking around obscene What have I seen thrown out lately? Asher versus Chris Brown or usher versus Justin Timberlake. Both of those. They're both wrong but okay He actually got on with US. Cher to talk about some other Shea. And the barbs are currently obsessed with Mr Raymond because Sa's beads throughout the idea of a Nicki menaj versus little can and talk. Sure responded that Nikki is a product of Kim. So this wouldn't really work environment weren't having that right. Why do you say that beats the fuck out? I mean who gets shit like you're talking about like a bunch of fifteen year olds from Paraguay? Donate like what are you gonNA ask? He mad at fine. He didn't say anything untrue But then fifteen. Year olds relentless. So but I don't. That's not the reason. I don't WanNa see it. I mean I guess it's part of it you know like they're not pierce came into here really peers Obviously Kim is a part of generation that literally like crawled so that they could sprint. And I get that in a obviously the beef in the comparisons that they've dealt with throughout however long Nikki has been out would make A helvin entertainment fast for Stan Social Media. But most of the time these are people who have been out longer and be people who have like been out sort of alongside when exactly and also hopefully have some sense of respect for one catalog ex employees. That's when it's fun. First of all and look him would never agree to it. I doubt either one of them would want to do it. And it just wouldn't make any fucking sense. I don't think Nikki has anybody to do a versus thing. With most of her career. She was kind of uncontested it. She's GonNa do what she had to do it against a Guy. I think and I don't even know who that guy would be. What are we going also does not do anymore. There is always a. I think the biggest point is what you made about like them being out at the same time. That's what most of these verses seem to be like artists who had not only similar like levels of success. But also you know not. Totally different eras from one another look. Kim's era of female rap is very different from Nicki Minaj is so I mean. I don't think it would work for that reason alone but also because of the barbs would literally never let anybody give Kim appoint ever for any reason and the fighting which is be like. It's not as if Kim doesn't have stands on her own and people who are it's just not it just I don't see the point of it. Besides you know riling up a bunch of teenagers having week's worth of memes on Fox and like I just I don't see the point of it but either way they mad at a for speaking his mind and I don't necessarily disagree with them maybe could have been worded differently if he really wanted to keep the you know the children off of his spine but at the same time. It's like the not hunting through everybody's going to go up against each other if Kim's going against anybody I guess we'd be foxy but that again. They want enough her. Don't know that there's a respect they're done. Yeah I mean I think the versus is actually like a really cute idea. I love that people are having fun with it but everybody don't need to do one. It don't have to be like everybody you ever liked when you were a teenager. Don't WanNa be battles with each other but you know we'll see what they come up with. I guess eventually a horse will die and so to beat it at that. Point is all right. Yeah heartless is that yes. Meghan good has come forward with comments about her skin tone after someone in her instagram comments. made a remark about her looking better with darker skin to. She's been rumored to have gotten her skin bleached because she looks a bit lighter than usual. Someone on Instagram said. Megan looked better dark skin. She's not so pretty anymore. She looks average but her dark skin was above average. Why does she bleach? Megan responded to this person and say I didn't queen a unbeknownst to me on licensed esthetician. Obviously that gave me a product to correct a sun damage. Mark my forehead messed up my skin by the grace of God. Only I'll about eighty percent through recovery and regaining my color daily to be honest. Who is beyond painful and trauma and it was beyond painful and traumatic experience. Because I would never wish that on anybody really appreciate it. If you wouldn't continue to spread assumptions in rumors. God bless you less three asses so chambliss there you go. I mean she does look I guess a taste but also I feel the last time I saw. Meghan good was in the end of that movie. She's am that came out. I feel like last year and I had no idea. She was in a issues in all like ten to fifteen minutes and she just like Meghan good there and on her instagram. Now she just Meghan good to me so I don't really know how the bleaching works like she does. Look a taste lighter. Maybe she don't look like some other people who've gotten this game believes that becoming out looking like slender man because play when it's giving and I know that some people do have situations where they have like trying to like work on their pigmentation or correct like you know cholera damage or Sunday image and things happen or whatever but a lot of the girls aren't buying what Ms Mcguinness silent in terms of her skin. Color personally on dislike sweetie. Love the game that you're in and if you want your skin to be a bit more on the Lisa Bonet side if they I would ask why and Allow you to live your mouth fucking business. Yeah Yeah. I'm on her instagram now and I don't really see what she looks. Visibly like a lighter or darker than any other time I've ever seen her. She's always just been like this. Same General Not Super Lie but also vague. I mean obviously not dark either. So right yeah. I guess I don't see whatever the biggest deal. I would not have been able to notice that something had happened to her in the first place. Why would she make this story about having had sun damage and then having to like do something that didn't work and now she's trying to get hurt cause and then say you're about eighty percent through recovery in regaining your collar daily which implies that like you're working on right getting back to whatever you're caller is like why make this shit up if you knew that you wanted to have light skin and you bleached it for that reason way? I don't know I mean yeah I mean I obviously don't know either. I would love to hear more about how this unlicensed petition ended up giving her a product like don't see that was products. Yeah I think if you really wanted to be lighter you would never tell nobody this story. So whatever was I'm sure it had that what's always in all products? Whatever that skin safe bleaches. It probably had that shit in it. What their talking about it. Yes well I mean. I wouldn't say skin safe. I mean like not clorox is yeah. This formulated for skincare products. But I don't remember what this stuff is called hydrocortisone something like that. I don't know at the end of the day. We are just very triggered by this kind of stuff. Yeah we just have the longest fucking history with dark skinned people being treated like not even try not even in big so this day even by our own people spoken about and treated like where ugly or we're cute for a dark skinned person because you know they usually Ed and all that other stuff so I like the disappointment and frustration and people when they assume things and stuff like that but at the same time like Nah. I don't know if meagan good is a liar or not but I know this is the thing that happens for people. Sometimes so it's Kinda like what do you do? It is this issue not daughter historic occurs any tax to pick up the phone and be like bitch. I know you ain't out here bleaching then I mean get to just have your opinion almost done we. I mean there's not a lot of things going on when you know the fuck down so I wouldn't be shocked so a sex tape featuring an alleged Kevin Gates leaked online a few days ago and has had people who are interested in it bugging apparently Kevin Gates has talked big game about how Athletic Agile and aggressive. He gets in the bedroom. I didn't know this nor was I interested in actually seeing Kevin Gates to me kind of looks like when you blow air into a juice box. It's very much friend And so I just wasn't I wasn't into it but anyhow I did see plenty of the reactions and I figured for show. Let me go ahead and see this video so I can give those of you. Who also don't care to watch it. A bit of an idea. Visualization possibly of what we're dealing with here most people who were interested again because Kevin Gates claims to be the you know universe soul fucker and this video was very lacklustre. It was very boring. The girls were tired. They were going sleep. It just wasn't giving the delivery that he claimed also it doesn't help that. This video looks like it was recorded on a giga pet. As well as the fact that as well as fact that this headboard was definitely passed down. I don't know who's grandma this long but this this headboard is giving me Rose Nine. Linton is so sad day everything about the videos. Just not giving I guess fans or the porn thirsty of us the entertainment. I suppose that we were looking for however both parties in video seem to be having a good time and you know God bless that may be Kevin Gates was just really excited that day. This girl maybe this particular girl is like look I about all of that tossing around a room and fend fucking Fuck up on the ceiling next chandelier. I'm doing regular strokes. I doubt it but you never know. And isn't Kevin Gates the one who said who was talking about fucking because this Oh yes so then as soon as I heard this story about the sex tape. I'm like I really don't WANNA see dismantling his cousin down. It's probably not his cousin in the video but every time I hear his name I'm GonNa think about having sex with one's cousin is GonNa make me uncomfortable. Yuck I cannot believe. Y'All even willingly watch that. I would not have done it. But what the decline seat I was that confuses well and I didn't know anything about him talking about how he likes to have sex or being super graphic because I try not to pay attention so when I found out that that's how he talking and I was like Oh so this is why GonNa Watch this video. Because he'd be talking about all kinds of things he does. Gotcha and I guess they wanted to see. It was true and they expected to get really I guess they wanted some browsers. They're expecting porn hub and it didn't get aches well for free. You take what you can get and again you'd want seeking out a Kevin Gay sex tape so maybe ask yourself some hard questions so many professionals doing it every day on only fans that you could be going you know you can get on one of these free sites and get your life there from people who to this professionally and for a living Kevin Azeem have a tripod. You know or a ring light. Oh no so. What is the production value even give? Is it a selfie stick? What is going on is very much arm fully extended. Oh No not definitely. Don't want to watch. I'm sorry tonight. Isn't the camera moving every time you do? So that's isn't won't work but you know what okay? Moving on to Takashi. Six nine in his airhead extreme looking at online. Getting on everybody's last month Now I fly that. His legal team said that the doll understands that she needs to shut out and Did you know that he wears lace fronts? I had no idea that these were what I did. I know that like I probably did night. And Yeah so this week. He has after. Allegedly having to move relocate relocate wherever he was staying he's now blaming billboard for manipulating the charts and a giving. Arianna Guerande and listen. Bieber the number one and deleting some of the streams for his Song Guba which say that again. The song is called. It'S ALL CAPS G. O. B. A. I want him to go so far away. Like I'm just not team this like and I don't even care about the whole snitching thing because the other thing that he was involved in is trolling. Snoop Dogg. Because I guess he's like ranting about how he snatched and he's still came home and has this huge record and a lot of other rappers snitch. Two and one of the People. He's throwing out there snoop dogg and he's like posting videos where he's sitting in front of the TV in life but his fucking eating. I don't know what the fuck it was like eating and legs crossed and watching some documentary. Our movie was should night claiming that snoop Dogg and other people are informants and is being shady with it of course. New Dot Com responded. None of us doing anything so he had the time. I just want to play a piece. Hopefully can oh. It was the video. Yes video response. That snoop Dogg and the microphone. That there's just a particular way that West Coast Nigga. Say Bitch that you know. I love that word. I don't care and It just set me so I wonder if okay I'm ready for that. That's like a family more drawn out than that. You really case Heathrow in Heathrow in a couple of funky dog here bitches too because you know that's you know about okay bitches. I can't believe Takashi six was is somehow more annoying than he was before he went to prison. It has the opposite effect on white people. How are you more irritating new? Okay so starting with sleeves and beads. They're bigger stars than you. Very huge popstars with rabid fans. It makes no surprise to me that they were number one. It is a huge surprise to me that you charted in the top. Five top T. Yes topic leading right. I would have never guessed so. I don't understand why you can't just count your blessings that you are not only not in prison but that you got away so quickly and that you are even still permitted to make music that you have a video at all that you have a chain and whatever else like get that lace braided and start and leave us. They told us you are going to leave us alone. They said that they said that they. They need to go to jail. So what is it that we need to do? Because I'm so exhausted. And why are you out here fucking antagonizing? Everybody that you can think of dough. Nobody Sweetie as I said last week Gary Spectacle like you're a like a clown. Yes yes you're right at the thank you so of course you're going to garner viewership because people look at your you'd literally have rainbow hair. Leave us alone an actual real life clown yes please do last at least Little Busey in his hamburglar face ass on instagram higher than satellites. This Nigga Mun where he this maybe Embassy might be done. I'm done with this Nigga with discussion and I just I so he was on here. And I'm talking about stilts I and speaking at length bragging even that he has been getting his sons and nephews laid off by grown women since they were in the ages of twelve and thirteen teaching them how to put on condoms at nine tan talking about talking about their underage Genitalia and being braggadocios about getting grown women that he claims he also slapped way to do the same thing to chill. I just you know Zaire. Wade's group chat or so like I know was like I know this Nigga is talking about me and my dad and then bragging about this why this is actual criminal activity. Can we just like this is live this is these are felonies that you describe right now on Instagram? Do you know that this is illegal is at it's wrong on top of that like how busey been a problem? Busey band saying Stupid Shit. Like but sixteen year old me would have never thought that thirty-seven-year-old me would feel this way about Busey. Better s like I just would have never thought this Nigga would have fallen off the way he has with me personally. I'm just like I don't know. Fed Up and grossed out all at once with this Nigga eye contact or even it's like and then crime aside you know what I'm saying like crime aside the way that he was talking about them and their body was just so. My guest is flabbergasted. I can't understand can't make sense and it's like you know mostly laughs and Ella people who are fans doubt. I mean these are children traumatized and right now this is not nine ten years old putting on condoms and they go what having grown women do sexual things to them like people would be. Were rightfully outraged. If he was talking about this what his daughters it would be like. Nigga fuck is wrong with you having this groman coming here and handle your little. It's every part of it is wrong but for some reason NIGGA congratulate each other or be like Damn. I wish my daddy. We'll do that for me. And it's like you wish you would have been traumatized sexually at a very young age because this is not. This is not a good thing. My nigger like these are still children. Even though they're little boys and those are y'all to understand but it's still a violation is still fucking wrong. I'm not shocked. I'm moved out of my spot. 'cause it's Busey. While we're talking we're talking about with a song called they daikin so of course I do let us on but is the classic at no more. I just I'm so done with Busey. And his clear obvious obsession with Dick. This man is so Salik upset right obvious. I just don't get it. It was when he I know when I first got you. Let me be realistic. But it was at some jail stint probably the longest one where he came out and was just like obsessed with dicks and six and talking about you know niggers buck in each other and asking all this and it's like okay I understand you just got out but is this may be a you know. I wish I had the free porn that I used to have right in front of my face. Because how is it that you can't let this go like? Are you really still obsessed about gay people or what you think is gay activity or whatever else but he couldn't even just leave the ignorance there? It couldn't be just you know you being a fucking and saying it's stupid shit about gay negative or prison or whatever else you had to extend that into literally traumatizing. Your own children. Like I hope somebody called the police. 'cause this fucking kids. It was bad enough lascher when we saw that video or whatever of his icebox. Remember that and it wasn't nothing but fucking juicy juice. You're talking yes you do. It was like video video of Busey's house or whatever and a video of the icebox and it was full of bullshit absolutely packed pantry jam packed with Dumb Shit. It looked like an eight year old went food shopping. But a whole fucking family. I don't I can't believe you up. Remember this I literally have no recollection of any of it would be like sending to eleven year old children into the store with cash and tell them to get groceries for the house pictures what that eighty eight percent sugar and in the cabinet refrigerant like case me help all right. They need to be around an adult who will value them and their little lives and their little bodies and who will give them fresh things to eat. Because this is this manager's house which fifty packs a dipstick not the Kula is just all that pre pre-mixed kool-aid whereas the sugar into powder and dance. Dan How we got easy MAC to. Yeah somebody goes save them key. This is wrong. That's hot tops. This week we're going to take a break now. Pay Some bills and then we're GONNA come back with your drama. I mean with letters so listen as folks are adapting to this changing world where be buying stuff online more than effort. If you're anything like me you damn sure are because of my life and if you're an ECOMMERCE SELLER. Are you ready to meet the demands of your new delivery culture? Be Ready Ship Station. Is the number one choice of online sellers? When you're selling anything you can get all of your orders out of the door with Without all the drama and the ridiculousness and confusion in your forehead. Got a million labels all over it. Just takes a couple of clicks and you'll be printing the labels on getting your products out to your happy customers. It doesn't matter if you're selling on Amazon at sea on website Shift station brings all your orders into one simple interface. He had all right in front of you. They work with all the major carriers and eve offer big discounts and shipping costs so easy to do. It's really easy. Alex News it all the time to get our read March out of the door And shots y'all are you know wearing stuff and being cute and things that's how you get it so right now. Our listeners can try ship station for free for sixty days when you use offer code read and make sure your business is ready. Meet the demands of delivery culture get started at ship station DOT com today? Click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in read. That's already it's at ship station. Dot Com offer code reads ship station DOT COM ship happen. Let's get back to the show okay. So it's time now for your listener letters sess right send your questions to ask the read at Gmail Dot Com. 'cause this week the listener letters are brought to you by. Png Royal Oil. John Know How much I love. That haircare line go check them out but let's dive right into the mess friend. Let's start here with him and M. Says Emily. Emily says like many other people right now. I'm struggling I am physically distancing and working from home and walking outside sometimes saying I've been seeing people via facetime in zoom a few times a week but I am still incredibly lonely and might depression is getting worse. My therapist suggested considering getting together with individuals or couples of my friends. But I don't know if I want to risk getting sick or transmitting. Sickness is getting so bad that I've been living through this thing and thinking about dying a lot. Would you risk seeing your friends in a situation like this? Would it be worth it? I love the show so much and it's really helping me get through having something to look forward to hope you guys stay safe and healthy. Thanks em I think I said it before. I'll say it again. I'm not judging. You know more you know what I mean. Do you know what I'm saying I asked now's but A lot of people are finding ways to get out or to connect with a maybe one friend or one close person or slow numbers and things like that wearing their masks has met suits. Whatever the fuck house like young. If you're if it's your life her going like link up with one to two friends and staying. You know reasonably distant from one another one you do then go for. I don't really know at this point. It's like unfortunately we don't have the leadership that one requires in this kind of a time so we don't really have an understanding of really how anything's going so it's kind of like the country to me. It feels like they're slowly pulling off the band-aid of cut that we got yesterday like trying to see if it's healed and then the band aid can't go back on because you know what's take a band aid off. It's just a route so exactly I don't really know but I can say. Identify with what this letter is conveying and. I think that there are ways that you can get out and sort of harness a bit of your mentality for Positively you know and if that means going for runs going for a walk or like doing something socially out with your friends where you're not all on each other or whatever the fuck man there are ways to be out and be and not be stupid you know. There are ways to be out. Yeah be reckless. I obviously don't encourage it because I would like to be able to get back to normalcy quicker than anything and the more of us that say fuck it. I'm tired of being in the house the longer it's GonNa take but at the end of the day. I'm not going to say you know. I'm I'm basically just done saying shame on the girl wherever I don. Yeah name already doesn't really work. It's just kind of like you know God damn wearing a fucking pandemics. You want people to take it seriously because so many people seem to just be act like this is not really even a thing so I mean she's clearly not one of those right and I fully get that too because you know something that has been hard for me to accept that humans need other humans and we are not really fulfilled as beings when we are completely isolated. So I can't tell you whether it's worth it for you to spend time with your friends because for you it really might so you know and that just is what it is so you get. The Answer. Here depends a lot on how much you trust your friends. And whether they're really you know staying home and only hanging out with you or whatever like they say they are but you know I I would just say that if you feel like is that or given up on life then do like furious at and try to find the safest possible way that you can spend some time with other people because there's no point in quarantining if you feel like it's GonNa cost you your life 'cause exact quarantine into save your life so you have to decide whether you're at that point or not where it's just like girl. I have got to do fucking something or I'm GonNa lose it I am sure that at some point I will see my friends and like hanging out with them again. I'm sure that's going to happen but I will also especially at. I be super fucking cautious. It helps that nobody. I know In New York City has the virus so is like it kind of feels like if you don't have it by now girl you probably not going to get it but that doesn't mean it's time to just go out here and breathe in everybody's fucking air and vibes and just let chips fall where they may so right. When I'm done I will be you know being smart about it and the weather is turning up so it's like a lot of people largest who. I also can only really work within my own understanding of being social our experience my own sort of perspective. I don't have a problem spending the majority of my time at the house Because that's what I do all the time anyway but even myself. I have moments where I'm affected as I've said just by the mere fact that things are just restricted across the board. There are things I would like to have done to my place things I want to like. Get our fix or get rid of or like just little stuff that I WANNA do. Even within the bubble of my home is Conflicted because I can't get things move around. Certain stuff is no been. I can't go here and get that above a bar and so that is the frustration all its own and like although I do spend most of my time at home. I don't never go out so yeah I'm still affected by the fact that I haven't seen friends had hug or anything like that in the longest point. So I'm only imagine like I try to empathize as much as I can at least understand. Consider different perspectives as an introvert. I you know feel what I just said. I know that there are people who really feel safest or feel most like comfortable when they are out like there are people who just chill at the fucking coffee shop and they just people watch and like that brings them Ma and there are people who you know late in the fucking Jim. And that's their lifestyle. And that's what makes them feel whole and whatnot and so people who like really really Finds maybe they're escapism? And being out and being social are really fucked up right. Now my escape is Is totes video games up. Let me tell you something and I just got another. Vr Headsets Ivan playing some beats sabre and a whole bunch of other. Don't even live here anymore. I I feel like other people find escape in lake going and being social with their friends and bike together and like having brunch and whatever the fuck in so I get that but you know I would say again. Hold on if you can just a little bit longer and like try to find ways to to find peace and make sense of what's going on in your heart your home sometimes. Your mind is just racing a million miles a minute and it's hard to really be forced to kind of be in tune with what's going in your mind because you can't do shit to sort of Nassir. Your head is going a million miles of fuck men and maddening. I understand so yeah if you can still stay at home and Lenk suffer along with the rest of us for taste longer. That's where I encourage like Christmas. Said if you just if it's between your life or the streets to find the safest yes possible way to go out with maybe a friend or two because remember this government. Don't give one fuck about you. Not and they will absolutely show s expire. And not about it. So you have to be looking out for yourself in a way that you cannot trust you know the government to do so and others and others correct you really have to. It's a time where we need each other but so many people are. I don't WanNa say trash but the the word is really trashed. And that's what I'm ver- like people know they're sick and still go hang out around others and all that sort of thing in the Psych. You could just not. It's one thing if you're a symptomatic but you know I feel like as more time goes on. We hear more and more stories about people who are like. Oh you know I felt a little bit ill but I just went to three parties that last weekend so I'm sure it was fine and it's like okay girth. You really get a fuck about nobody else but you know it. There's also it could be an issue of you know you being extra paranoid for whatever reasons being immuno compromised or whatever else so is fine that you're being hesitant about it but do whatever going workout for your mental health in the long run and remember that this is a crazy fucking time we are living in and yet thoughts are not necessarily you know real. They're not necessarily what is going on in the world. If you're feeling super negative or bad or whatever right now just let yourself feel it and then let yourself live through it. So best of luck to you. listening on our next question comes from Deanna. Who says I'm in the process of compiling videos of my sister's ferns saying happy birthday to her because we're in quarantine and you know. Naturally her birthday sucks. She stuck away from home with her family instead of at her own apartment because of travel restrictions so I thought it would be cool if all her friends sweet message to tell her how much they love her. There were two people whose numbers I couldn't from other friends so I made up a reason to go in her phone. Okay sounds like you just told us the made up reason. Oh no wait see. She gave her sister. I just know it just clicked for me but anyway. Her conversation with her therapist was right up at. I swear I did not go looking for it. I saw my name though in the conversation and now I don't know what to do. I read that my sister thinks I'm a liar and overall has a very low opinion of me. We've been struggling lately with getting along but my feelings are hurt that she thinks so lonely so lonely of me especially because I'm literally putting together a video. So she feels love. I know I had no business calling her out because I invaded her. Safe-space online therapy. But that doesn't stop the way I feel. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks Deanna Deanna. Play just so I mean you did. You did if anything I guess. I'll be asking to sit in on a session with her who I was going to be like. Look I saw what you said. I mean hurts my feelings. He show that way but that was in a place in his face. Or You should have been safe to say what was on your mind without having to concern yourself with what I would think and I that if possible. You should see if you can sit in on the session with her To sort of UNPACK. Why she feels the way that she feels and sort of come to a Hopefully an understanding of what's going on because you don't sound flag liar bad sister or whatever But I don't know you and I'm not gonNA invalidate anything that she sane but I really feel like the only helpful being at this point. I mean just in my opinion would be to try to talk to someone who can mediate Together obviously obviously she's GonNa be pissed that you Her things so it's like coming at her in a defensive way about anything she said I to me. You just setting yourself up for failure. Never seen. She'd never seen it so I think if anything used to just be like. I'm sorry that I saw this. I really shouldn't have invaded your privacy. You should have been able to say this stuff without me knowing or whatever and I really want us to work on this because it hurts me that you feel this way and that's it that's that's what I would do. That is really mature of you because I was. I do not even think of that. I immediately to well fuck it. Well that's what you get for going through our fucking there APP and and so you know. I think as soon as I read this I thought well you just need to fuck in hand handle live like on your own or whatever but what you're saying makes a lot of sense and also takes account that. I'm sure Deanna you know has feelings and the Corentin is making every situation a hundred times more stressful than it would have been without the fucking virus. Everything if you have an outbreak right now is a million times worse because FUCKING CORONA. If you just got fired same situation your mom is sick absolutely the same thing so I so. I'm going to try to come back to this. You know much more kind way. That kid fury looked at this and say that is probably a good idea. If y'all can talk about it together with the help of therapists but Just like he said you know and and how she might be defensive because you're bringing up something that she said you know in private with our therapist you also have to be ready to accept whatever she gives you coming back from that because she is allowed to go to therapy and say I feel like my sister is a fucking liar because blah blah blah. Because just like you know you have your feelings and they feel you feel the way you do regardless so does she. And so wherever that came from for her. She has the right to work that out with her therapist. Without you getting involved so if you say something to her about it they might just bitch. Stay out my fucking phone. That's what you give or going through my God damn phone and don't worry about what meeting over here talking about. Stay in your talking business like you have to be ready for her to come back and tell you to stay in your fucking place and out of her fucking Well Miss Yeah but at the same time I think it's completely fair of you to take full responsibility for the fact that she shouldn't have been in the her phone but also attempt to like find a in the issue. 'cause I wouldn't necessarily think lowly of me. I'm you know assuming that she doesn't want to feel like you're a liar or feel negatively about you era otherwise I even bring it the fuck a So I would at least want to do something about this I guess strained relationship or whatever that I didn't even know about I would try. WanNa try to fix that. Means that like it just like on Institute for even seen that Shit I need you to back the fuck off for a minute. Give her that space. Because again you wrong but I don't think there's anything wrong in saying like I want to fix this. I want us to get to a better place or whatnot and if that means talking to the therapist together. I'd like to do that or something else you know. And then meet her on her terms with it Yeah I think he didn't have to be ready for that in particular. Because that's real like if I know that my sister feels away about me and I want us to be happy happier. You know like I'm trying to do something nice for this bitch. And she thinks I'm the worst person in the world and yeah I would also want to I would want us to to be in a happier or healthier place. I would want her to feel differently about me. But it's just GonNa be very fucking touchy as soon as you tell her that you read through her fucking chat with her therapist. Because that's such a huge violation. I would be pissed so yeah best of Ti Zhol. Figure that out because that's going to be complicated next letter comes from manned tap. I hope I'm saying that correctly men tap but he writes I've been struggling since before corona hit but she's kicked things up a notch for year boy and one question. I haven't heard answered yet. Is this windows one. No when we should seek out help I there when we should seek out for with therapy. When is it justified to ask a stranger to spend time on us and help us deal with our daily struggles? I have my faults and I often feel like I shouldn't burden others with my own guilt and I constantly tell myself that no one can help me but me but wins the right time to acknowledge that I cannot solve my own problems and should seek help for them. Thank you for everything. You do. Sincerely man tap. It sounds like you are there already. Yeah I think as soon as you start questioning it exactly. Yeah I think at the moment that you start asking like you know when here at wits end as I am at the moment and you have no real other place to turn to As I am at the moment. Wendy if you're starting to. I mean you know I definitely had moments where I considered should I see seek out therapy prior to doing it. When I really did was when I was just I felt like I could not lie to myself or convince myself anymore at that point that I could do it alone like I. I knew at that point that like my mental health was completely out of my own hands and that if I didn't speak to someone something. Drastic was probably going to take place and so. I was literally like on the edge of the cliff when I want but I don't think that you need to be there. I think that if you're just thinking about if you're just considering and if you're having a repeated feeling of just trash emotions and thoughts and outlooks then I don't think you're wrong for me and Mike. Look you talk therapists about any black casting. That's going on. You're like anything you could be going through a break up to a therapist boom. That's what they're there for. You just lost their job. Boom that's what therapists is there for. Your daddy could just be the most annoying motherfucking in the world balloon therapists for your children are ungrateful and never say thank you for all of the things you do for boom. You can really talk to a therapist for anything and we're so convinced especially people of color that we have to like shoulder every God damn burden that takes place in our lives and just walk around with on our back especially Brown women. But you don't have to like literally have the barrel in your mouth like you don't have to be Biden's highway you can just be like. I'm struggling right now and I need some help making sense of what's going on in my life so I can just saves sale smoothly Yeah so yeah I feel like now is probably defined time for you to start looking up someone to talk to. Yeah I know it was time for me to go when I was like okay. I'm GonNa Start doing you know these things to take better care of myself and then could not force myself to do them. It was like incapable of doing what I should so I was like. Okay I need to talk to somebody about why I literally. Don't give a fuck about myself anymore. So That's how I knew it was time for me to go but you know you mentioned some stuff about feeling like nobody can help you. But you and you don't want to burden other people which are should or whatever but you're not burdening a therapist by talking to them about our struggles that's their job like execises some friend that you're asking to Linda ear when it's like a trained professional and they're not just listening like they are obviously listening but they're piskun can also give you the tools to help you manage or should they can help you see They can help you see where you struggle in ways that you may be haven't ever really been able to identify for yourself or they can help put words to things that you've never been able to name before in your own arm and they can help you manage that stuff better. It's not just you know here. I go dumping all my problems on this person for forty five minutes and even if it was that does exactly what you're paying for so literally white. Yeah right so you can do that and I. It's fine to have your faults. Every human being has faults so please don't let that stop you or make you feel like all I need to take care of myself. Nobody can help me. That is the wrong and that is that is a false narrative to have running through your mind that nobody can help you. People can absolutely help you and for some reason when it comes to mental health stuck. We seem to think like all I just. I should be able to to do this on my own. Like you said but if you broke your fucking me or whatever I don't even know if you can break a knee but whatever it is whatever might happen to you you know physically you would care you acid a doctor and it wouldn't be no shame it wouldn't be like well. I just feel like myself so I wrap that Bishop at Rub some Tussin in it. It would be like girl fuel care. Yo Ass onto the guy they will but like. Isn't that the wrong with letting qualified medical professional help you out? And that's exactly what therapy is so there's no need to feel guilty about it or feel like things need to be worse for you before it's time to go. If you thinking about going then you might as well get started on the search. Now because it's not like it's easy necessarily to therapists that you really fucking vibe with so yeah that's true too and may say I might be a product before you find the right right person to ask another thing. That's like an excellent thing to bring up because some people go and they may not like the first session or vibe with the person that I need. And then they swear off therapists altogether or they feel like They made the wrong decision to go to therapy at that time. We're not and it's like no. You can go ahead shuffled whenever you feel like it all right. Good luck to you. Our next question comes from Lauren. Who SAYS I should start this off by saying that my mother and I have never had a good relationship but back in January. We had this huge fight where things were said and lines were crossed. I accepted that I was never going to have a relationship with my mom and stop trying and to be honest after. She told me how she really feels. I didn't want a relationship with her anymore. But this is where things start to get complicated. My Dad has cancer and just had a major surgery to remove the tumor and thankfully he's Ok in. The surgery was successful at been back in my parents. House since Corona Virus cancelled twenty. Twenty helping him as he recovers and staying clear of her. Maybe it's the cancer or my grandmother telling my mom how she can be a better mom but it seems as though my mother has had some change of card. She started asking me to go on walks with her and if she sees me working on something she pretends to be interested and ask questions. I've already decided that I'm done with her. So although I'm not disrespectful I keep the conversation short informal but I'm starting to feel bad for being this way because she can be interpreted as putting forth an effort and all this shit going on with. My Dad is a lot but still. My mother has not apologized for this fight that we head or for trying to turn certain family members against me. She in fact doubled down on opinions of me during our reunion episode. Okay I like the leaves were Union episode. I'M GONNA assume she is like talking about the fact that they are having conversations again and doing a play off of the house or whatever but yeah my therapist things and thinks that I need to let go and forgive her. She told me that I should accept the olive branch that my mom is seemingly giving and work on rebuilding our relationship. I'm trying to use my father as motivation to do this. But I honestly am not past being uninvited to her funeral and I don't want to accept her back in my life. What would you do if you're in a few? Yeah I'm guessing that's one of the things are mother said. Don't WanNa die. Don't come into my. That is some dramatic black period. Bullshit right they're like calm but Kurt it's also like what are you going to do if I do? You're right you're gonNA come back on me bitch so it'd be like I told you. Get your ass off what would you do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Love you stay Queer Lauren. I'm sensitive when it comes to family so I would have been been lying all right. I'm just vibe out. With this move forward I will forgive and remember and yes forgiven. Remember is important. And that's going to be that you know let it go. She's making an attempt Obviously like she mentioned are like you mentioned The situation with your father's hell is more than likely a huge catalyst in bringing her to this understanding that she needs to work on stuff but I also understand that like acknowledgement in things that were done or said that were hurtful is really important is crucial in like closure in repairing relationships and things like that it's one thing to be like making an attempt to change behavior with a person and being warmer are. Kinda or whatnot but if you said things to me that really hurt me and made it an had an effect on me and you don't acknowledge them. I would think that it's I don't WanNa say impossible because I'm just one man on earth and you know whatever but I it would be incredibly difficult. I think for almost anyone to have their feelings hurt especially by relatives limiting media or air it right right and then them not even acknowledged acknowledging. Apologize for try to make amends. All of the you know the walks and the kind words and things like that. That's great but I do understand why wanting an apology our even just an acknowledgement that you were hurt in the things. That were said I doubt if y'all were arguing and really throwing out jabs that what she said she meant. I'm certain that this funeral comment was not something. She was dead serious about. It sounds like something that you would say when you are just pissed you said here in this letter that y'all both said some fucked up things or whatnot so I doubt that she feels that way. Don't change the fact that you're going to want her to be like I'm sorry for saying that that was fucked right and if she's doubling down on hurtful things that she said. I'm sure not gonNA help anybody so exactly. That's why I'm like I see where you're therapist coming from. But the fact that your mother is like no extra fucking meant what I said has me like okay. So you know. Maybe you don't have to work on Yasser relationship. Maybe you know you can do the letting go part. And they're forgiving part and you know just trying to do your best to help take care of your debt while he's going through all this and then keep your mother at a distance where it's still you know doable for you where you can still be there for your dead and be around this woman without punch and hurry in the face like maybe that's where you end up with that and that's fine as well like. I don't think you have to force yourself to do something just because it might look like. Your mother is making an effort. Maybe her version of an effort is not what you need. Maybe you may know that she can give. That's very possible. A lot of people especially parents like they're my bad there. I'm sorry list. Trash being like their time does like you hungry. And then that's you know like here's a play and that is supposed to mean yeah or be recognized as my bad. I'm sorry when he's good at that stuff but I'm also someone who's not really a fan of like unspoken shit. I like to have a mother fucking understanding with fuck. We're talking about so I would have probably been like look. I see you making an effort and I actually genuinely appreciate that and I would love for us to go back to a place. I'm not over specifics. Are OVER BLANK. Welby will it lists and I won't be until you make amends for that. I need you to acknowledge the shit. That hurt my fucking feelings and apologize if there are things that I said that hurt your feelings and we haven't talked about that. We can discuss that as well like I don't think that we can. I don't think I can properly accept a healthy relationship between the two of us until we acknowledged this stuff I think if your completely fair and you're honest about the fact that you want to get to a place but that's what's stopping you and it still isn't like acknowledged reciprocated or whatever then like Christmas. It you know. Be there for your father and keep your mother at a distance where you're not ripping each other's hair out but you're also not you know driving yourself crazy putting your mental health at risk. Because she'd been pissed you off and on top of that she wanted to be nice to you and also take back the fuck up. She's like don't work. It's not going to be all at. It's not GonNa do that. It's not like just like so. We're on this Walker. Whatever in the morning and you lag. I totally meant that she'd be don't ever pull up to my general houses have been going. Kyle like no. We're not GONNA word right. We can't just pretend inside it and you know coming from your mother. Whatever was said probably hit totally different than if it came from a friend or cousin or whatever else so you know I would. I would do my best to meet her halfway. But I wouldn't sacrifice what I need in order to do it. And if she came meet me at the bare fucking Minima then we just while I mean. Unfortunately we just won't be where you would theoretically like us to be because you cannot acknowledge the you did to me and a step back and one girl so yeah. I mean that's another one that sounds like if y'all could doing group are a session together with a therapist that might help or even if you just have someone in the family who you know is like a really good mediator who who will sit in on. Y'All having conversation kind of call you but out and keep you know what I mean like. That might help as well. 'cause sometimes to people who are in my feelings to people have hurt one another or whatever cannot really communicate it's it is Har- it is hard sometimes to come out of your own ego to come out of your own pain and just accept the facts that are on the table and communicates is really hard to put to the side sometimes and just pour your heart out because you know you're hurt your scorn. You are resentment. Won't always allow you to be vulnerable. So sometimes it helps to have someone in the middle who will be like all right. I know that you'll mean this. This is not the time to say that. Or whatever just this how that person feels obviously feel like blank. If that is something that you feel could help that I would probably bring that up as well as an option because it ain't GonNa make no sense to talk about it again and then just cuss each other. The fuck out once twice. This is even worse now. Okay so best of luck to you. Our last letter comes from Carmen. Who says last weekend was my boyfriend's birthday and this upcoming weekend is our four year anniversary. We had a week long. Trip planned the key West for June. But of course that won't be happening now and so I have a little extra spending money I saved up enough to rent a Canam. A boat at maybe some kind of car. Let's say I saved up enough money. Some rent a Canam for the week. We were supposed to be there as a surprise for my boyfriend because the canam is his impractical dream mode of transportation motor car. Like a truck okay. Great let's see. Atv So he won a road and do audits. Shit yes off roading Dasher Niyaz WanNa drop the ideal mode of transportation. A The fuck you piggly-wiggly but go hunting or something. What is the purpose of it is all right? I decided to use the money saved up in buying something he can keep and got the last brand new Honda Grom. A this is another car. I've never heard of anyway. I bought the last brand new whatever. That car is that the state of Florida head because all the factories have shut down at this point and for good reason he was very excited about it and are good. Our bike okay. Sure our good friends came over the night that he received it to celebrate and teach him how to ride in the parking lot for building and we had a wonderful time. It's been over a week now. And he's only posted one picture on social media and it was the top bar where everything goes away in twenty four hours with no shoutout just a picture of the bike not even saying it was. He's in the meantime. He's received a mass from his friend in the mail. Some items from a tattoo artist like and the Second. He received those boxes. The pictures went up on social with big shoutouts. And thank you so the people who sent them even though he paid for this shit from the Tattoo artists. I don't want I don't. This is such a young people question. I love it. I don't want to ask him to pose a thank you. I don't want to ask him suppose. A thank you social media thing a thank you social media things for me about the bike because that's just weird and disingenuous there past year. He bought me a new MAC book. Whatever the new iphone is with the three cameras and the noise cancelling everytime he's given me something about this stuff for her for her over the past year every time he's given me something. I post on social a Nice. Thank you and everyone. I talked to in real life if they bring it up. I always say that he gave me these things and I always tell people about how much he spoils me and how lucky I am to be with him. He's happy he's happy about the bike around me but am I being petty because I'm upset that he hasn't posted anything and it's a cash way too because I feel like if I say something about it and then he posted is like an obligation and the shit will be weird. Please help Carmen Carmen. I've oh no I feel like this is incredibly Patty. Not Everybody likes to be all out here with their love life. Not just like like sometimes you. You know you like to be a little. What's the word I'm looking for a discrete with what's going on in your romantic life? I would judge the Nigga more based on the way that I am treated with him. are by him when we're together versus some shit that he posted doesn't post on Israel because Nicolette say I'm opposed to shit from you or you or like that. Now we'll say thank you to these other motherfuckers. You give me something on my birthday or whatever and that's something that we have to understand and if you do the same to me. I'm GONNA SUV for the same fucking right But it sounds to me like you are type of person who is super into Flaunting your relationship and the things that make you feel good in your relationship the the gestures from your boyfriend and all that stuff. It's fun for people to be able to like document that stuff and show off and have a good time and so I think that's okay but it doesn't mean that the person you're in a relationship with is going to be on that same type of time it's behinds with you if you posted it didn't tag you in. It can mean a whole bunch of things it could mean all of the negative things that you're probably thinking about those. You went through all limiting of them but it could also mean that he doesn't want anybody knowing who is growing because he don't want nobody to take his girl it could also mean that he don't want nobody to be in his relationship because he doesn't want them asking about and made his momma too like you It could be any motherfucking thing. I just don't think it's that deep and I do think that if you go to him and be like well why didn't posted this stuff to me man. You're just kind of being annoying if he loved it and had a good time together and he posted it then like that's the day I don't know they understand wanting for your vanity light. Oh my God my. My girl is the queen of of the plan. Look at these fancy meek mill. Ask things that she got for me. But I don't think that harping on it and making it. A thing with him is GonNa do you any good if anything next time you know to get that gift card to the chocolate bread and keep a real cute concise and You know smaller package. You know how to move forward from here and Yeah I guess that's that's hard Let that be a lesson for you. This Nigga is clearly not been do the whole. Oh my God and my woman is my queen. Let me you know heap praise and worship on this woman in my instagram comments. Clearly he's not the type to be doing all that so like if you're is it. I think I would just accept that I don't have the type of Nigga who's going to be doing the most on social media and I like you may have written to the wrong people about this because we don't really care I don't care about being honest on social media because I do not post nothing to do with the people that I'm dealing with online and I'll see if I was if I if that was like me if I was the Nigga in this situation and mighty got me some crazy gift that I really wanted. I probably would have done something similar. I probably would have posted a photo of eight or me enjoying it or whatever and not acknowledged that I got it from him. Either because mine's Y'all's business go like. Oh Oh we not. I'm not doing that with John Today. thank you so much stay. Wanted a little shoot like cheeky from him. You know some some people like to go the route of like You know maybe a hard IOM Oji. Are you know they got me forever with the number four ever owned like sometimes like a little something? I understand but I don't think this is something that's worth You know making a fuss about especially if you don't believe that he's black sheeting on you and he also buys you man gifts and treats you like special and things like maybe. I need to do the the love language tests and your love language will be like. I need instagram captions. And maybe he could be like okay. I will give you instagram caption. Since that's what you you know who knows. Maybe you'll see your way and he'll be willing to do something because it matters to you. There is that I think that you bring up a great point because I think you could put this like you could stash this sort of your back pocket and not bring up this part. Take Y- ALERT SITUATION. But somehow in the future may be slipping. She like instagram comments. And see the behavior maybe hint at it in the future and see the behavior changes but I think if you fuss about this he just GonNa get on his nerves and they have like an argument or whatever reason and I just don't think it's worth I me or like you said then he posts on instagram. And it's like okay but now you only do because I say the man cannot win here so the IT and move differently. You know from here on out whether they're saying something to him later or being like okay. Well I'm opposed to me the fuck Outta year. Got Me looking crazy like whatever you whatever you decide to do. But there's no I don't see a way for him to to magically post about this without you feeling like he's only doing it because it's not gonNA happen but keep this in your back pocket for later girl remember this event. They'll hold it against him because he's not like is doing something wrong necessarily but just remember this when it come time for giving gifts and all that when it comes time for post this shit online you remember how this dating man yes it is it is about whether you give me nice things and show other people how much I mean to. You is exactly what I thought about. I'm into it was all about holding stuff in your back. Pocket is gotta be tactical with the one you read is not just coming at you now over the next time we get into it. I've got ammunition and I'm taking you down. This sound like some shit my amy's with say one hundred percent like let me tell you you need to go from this this right here. I'll show you how you can turn this into this bracelet. Just Watch listen my adult play. But that's another story for another day. Let's wrap up arc an excuse to not flay but anyway that wraps up the questions this week again. The listener letters were brought to you by royal oils from head and shoulders. The line makes it easy to keep your hair and scalp moisturised and healthy. I love it so so much. You can find out why when you go to Walmart. Pick up all the products in their collection at Walmart stores are on Walmart Dot Com. All right let's take a quick break and we'll be right back so listen everybody is pretty much gone through it right now. Like literally does crisis is driving US nuts. We're stuck at home and so as we've talked about even all through this episode. It's very important to talk to somebody if you feel that you need to for Mental Health Awareness Month. Talks based therapy is more committed than ever to expanding access to support for anyone. Who Struggling with talk spacey get mashed with a licensed licensed therapist based on your knees and your preferences off from the safety of your home. 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It is now time for us to wrap up with our reads. You can go yeah. I don't have much to say this week again. I am barely fucking hanging in there but Last week I wanted to talk about this and I'm sorry that I didn't the story of Brianna Taylor. Out of Louisville Kentucky. Where are you going to talk about the same thing because touch on it? But it's fine. I feel like you'll do. I mean I just the thing about this is that you have heard us talking about this sort of thing one trillion fucking times and I'm actually tired of the bear fucking minimum being something that niggers basically have to celebrate because we can't ever expect that we will actually get real justice or anything else along those lines so if you haven't heard the story. Brianna Taylor is a twenty six year old in Kentucky. Who died when police ran up in her fucking house and let off a whole bunch of Goddamn rounds and the story so the story is is fucked up enough just on the surface but when you actually start reading into the details and it's like this one officer really had a thing for her boyfriend and like had planted drugs on this Nigga before and it was like a personal vendetta China take this Nigga down or whatever and so naturally when people busting your house in the middle of the night the man in. It's not like it's illegal for you to have a gun to defend yourself your family your home. So when he led off one shot and hit an officer in the fucking leg they returned with like twenty fucking rounds and so Brianna who didn't have shit to do is shit not one fucking thing to do with any of it is gone and you know look. I would say with actually getting the police in Kentucky just like with Ahmad Story Out of Georgia as you mentioned that this was in March I don't think I did. I don't think I mentioned this happened. In March yes exactly. This happened in March and I think they only just now decided to do like an internal investigation. It's like when y'all suit and kill fucking civilians. Why isn't investigation not automatically? What's going on because you're not actually give a shit about niggers and we know that so right. It's just very inset. Naturally the media has started going into. Well Brianna Taylor was also not the Angel. You may have thought. She quit her job. And it's like wait. What fo she actually saw a fucking story from one of the local news outlets in Louisville talking about how Brianna ahead resigned from her job last year something and her records were marked as she couldn't be hired back but there weren't any notes as to why and all this and it's like whole the cares. How does that have anything to do with the trying to make this woman criminal now like Oh so? She wasn't working at this one spot. She was working another spot. It is okay. So you're not GonNa get me to say. Oh well this black woman designed for the police to run up in her house and murdered her in cold blood because of whatever Bush like is it has nothing to do with nothing. So yeah these assholes shot this woman eight times and my heart is broken for her family. I hate that. This is the sort of thing I mean unfortunately. It's the sort of heartbreaking story that black families black people have had to deal with since this country began and I hope that she gets the Justice. She deserves but true justice would be you know. Maybe y'all just not running up in somebody's apartment at one. Am In the first guy. Damn place can you please? Just black people live right like you just ran up in somebody's house at one. Am and one officer got shot in the leg. A y'all decided it it needed twenty fucking rounds like wh- you came in here. You bothered me. We arm licensed to carry a gun middle of the night. And you just bus it into my fucking yes. Of course I'm shooting bitch. Of course I'm shooting because white people are fucking crazy. Hell Yeah I'm shooting. They jus- they were looking for a reason. They probably wanted to kill her boyfriend and she was just unfortunate. Collateral damage but BRIANNA. I'm so sorry I'm sorry that this is the world we live in. I'm sorry that this is the country that we have you deserved better and you know I pray. Your family gets the piece that they desire because this is just simple shit. Fuck you mean fuck you mean dog and then trying to smear her name afterwards like now they did the same thing with a young man in Dallas the worm that the police officer accidentally broke into his apartment and killed him. They did the same thing. Well he wasn't great either you guys. He gotta be in Social Studies when he was twelve. And it's like a black people deserve to live. Please leave us alone man. That's it well tremendous the only thing I was going to read our person I want to read. Is My sal so listen to me you getting on my damn nerves. You are driving me a up the wall. Leave me alone okay. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to live. My life is served to be proud of the hard work that I have put in and how hard I have worked as well as to enjoy the fruits of my labor and I frankly tired of me being my inner saboteur and constantly making myself feel live so get off of my back leave. Maybe and figure out a way to get links hair done because she's looking Farrell and attitude stakes. So I if something could be done about that. That would be great. And that's that's all I have. You need to be nicer to yourself like you need to be more June so more patient all that shit is fucking pandemic going on so whatever you're mad at like you just need to give you some fucking gray's well that's the thing like you know that you're being irrational sometimes when you're mean to yourself But it doesn't stop you from doing it and it doesn't also stop you from sometimes feeling like that shit is valid is because like sometimes we just train ourselves to second gas ourselves or to just feel like we aren't where the happiness for whatever unexplained reasons And I think that being in therapy has helped me. Sort of Acknowledged a lot of that shit is being logical because I literally will have to sit down to someone and speak out loud about the stuff that's bothering me. And so I will get to the end of Iran and been done basically like kind of just put it all together myself and and like I guess that is a really make any damn sense and she'll be like but I guess it does. I love that so I think that like I said being stuck inside all of the time being restricted from People and places that would normally make you feel like you have at least some sort of Control. Right like for instance. If you I dunno if like you really take your fitness goal seriously and you can't go to the gym anymore that might affect you or if you can like if you have people around you that sort of help you to to to kind of acknowledged who you are and how important you are to folks around you and all that kind of stuff and then you can't hang out with people or Gosar plate like this little stuff eh. You may not even realize kind of helps. Keep you floating that now that we don't have those things it's like no. I didn't realize how important me being able to go to the fucking barber was. I didn't know how much I needed like free before. Eleven acted know that like district clubs really keeps me from being irritable. I Dunno what so. We're sort of style ever thinking. Yeah too much over thinking everything having all of this time in our hands and a lot of the stuff that we would typically due to be like you know level. Yeah we can't really do them or the way that we do them is compromised. I've really liked go into the gym. It felt like I was not near where I wanted to be in terms of looks. I like working out because it requires discipline and focus and stuff like that that I feel like I laugh sometimes and it's really hard for me to do it at home. So that's a factor among other things like John just dealing with a lot of spots. That are just running through my mind at a like astounding rate and. I know that I'm not alone in it. Which helps because like he got letters from people who are dealing with the same thing and it's just the thing that we have to by just have to acknowledge sometimes that I don't do myself any favours like we're not we're we are doing a lot of harm to ourselves and we just kind of sit back and think negative things about ourselves or are just like an unkind to ourselves forever list of reasons and it doesn't always just mean that you're immediately going to change the way that you process things especially it's habitual like it has been for me but right at the same time it helps. I think to sort of acknowledge more. Like you're bugging you being lower rational. It's fine that you think this. It's okay that you went this way as long as we are acknowledging that that's not our truth and we can turn the fuck around and go back to what we're going to do because I'd like to believe that. This corona virus shade is not going to last forever. It's going to take a while before things look the way that they used to 'cause even when outside is open again they're going to be so many things that are going to be likely for the rest of like our live Things are just not going to look very different. The way that we're GonNa talk about this when it's all like we're still in it so like a lot of the stuff when we're out of it is still going to be affected by it and shit like that so. I don't know I'm just trying to be more patient and real with myself and like acknowledged it's fucked up and it's totally okay to be because like I've even had people around me who are like now dealing with stuff I've dealt with pre Rona which is like depression. Yeah and just being cooped up in the house and not being able to go anywhere and lacking the motivation of even getting up and washing your own ass and all that Kinda stuff like people are in Shit right now. 'cause they're fucked up behind this and I totally get it but I'm like not everybody realize it realizes that it's like okay not just to feel that way but it's okay to feel like trash because shit is trash right now and you don't do yourself any favors when you're putting pressure on yourself to not feel like trash or putting pressure on yourself to do a whole bunch of shit that you have to figure out how to do now any goddamn way because you can't do it the way that you use to is perfectly okay to sitting your bad for twelve hours and eat bugles and watch. Veronica Mars on Hulu. Shit like it's perfectly okay to do this ship for a day because guess way you the list of things that you can do right now to totes short not much not much on their girl and at the same time. We're all going through some fucked up shade and it's not where it like so many of us especially by people. We equate productivity to like. What were you looking for like Mike? Not just like health but like response like we we look at like productivity as a responsibility that we have in order to like be the people that were supposed to be shit like that and so if day goes by that you did in like trim the Fucking Hedges or Finished Balancing Checkbooks. There's anybody even still do that. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about anymore. Like if we do like we are so means are so sometimes for like sitting back in our feelings. Yeah that's fine. It's totally okay to just sit back and feel your feels even if they're not good as long as you're making at least trying to make sense of them and coming up with ideas of what you can do to fix. I Shit in the future Yeah but yeah I like I just be driving myself crazy thinking unkind things about myself and I find that now I have to make a habit out of being like oh girl shut up and feed the damn dog and take the bishops is worth is not tied into however many assignments you got done in one day or whatever like if you didn't do the things you were quote unquote supposed to do that day. You know it just depends on how important those things are as to. Whether that's really going to be an issue for you but first and foremost you have to take care of yourself again. These are crazy fucking times and I have definitely had moments especially over the past few weeks where I catch myself cause. I'm just like dragging me unrelenting very and be like okay bitch I see where you coming from but also not too much on my bitch because we're going through a fucking pandemic so just be easy with the way you talk about girl so yeah that's pretty much it. Yeah I don't know I'm still a work in progress on a lot of things and I'm also doing stuff that I really liked to do. And we literally also run a business. Yes so that is hard so it's a lot and sometimes you just feel like you know eating some ice cream at your bed watching whatever you feel like streaming and that's fucking fine and if you do that ship for three four five back to back days right now. Guess what can't believe it's okay. Fine if you're fucking cousins and your ex ante or whatever all you know doing their jumping Jackson sit in the living room every fucking Monday or whatever like if your thing right now that is making you feel level. An piece is chilling. Then great and it's just not fair. It's not rational last sensible free to beat yourself up over a whole bunch of nothing because you can't put your thoughts or whatever to the use that you are used to think it just doesn't make any fucking sense and again I say all of this and I will likely still read myself down before I go to bed tonight by backed it should up with also like shut the fuck up and then again my dog listen me like why do I live here. Can Somebody please come. That's I'm surprised link has not come to you would've listed demands like I need my nails done. Something has got seven does she. She put both pause on my hand. Today allows on the computer and I thought he was trying to say to me. Look at the look at my plan. I'm disgust might have looked this crazy. You lose the DOC plays open like the place I take. Her is opening something like that. But I'm just not gonNA wait just a little bit longer. Grow your Yorkie. They be having long hair anyway. So you will be. I know how to keep it healthy. I brush the bed. She Iran saying I make your clean. She's cleaning but he's used to a sort of coat of my nails Polish. I don't what is going on. So you're GONNA wake up one day. She going right. Groomers something on the fucking bathroom mirror and you'll be like right. It is time to go. I expect that she will just have moved with the crate to the front door. And she'll just sit in. There should be like whenever you want us. I'm done I'm having so much work you know. I'm sure but it must be nice to have a sense of responsibility to something other than yourself right now hell like having am losing it. I'M GONNA have to get a brisket or fish or something. 'cause cats and fish for. Cats ARE SUPER BIDS. I don't need you at all. Go they me like dogs are super like your face. Most of the time I wanNA play and will like love. You almost cats are like I've got this like I don't need you. I will find food. Yeah Unclean Myself. I don't WanNa be touched until I feel like it. You can actually stay away from me and everything and here's mine like that. Please don't forget none of that but Well that was a word and I'm sure somebody needed it so thanks for sharing. That's it for this episode of the read. Yes only listening. We are here once again. Don't forget to check us out at this is three DOT com. Follow us on social media at this is the read you can shop our March at shop the read Dot Com. Isn't that what it is? Yes Jesus God how am I? Yes is shop the read Dot Com to get your hands on some of our merch and I think that's it anything else for you before we get out of here I don't think so. I remember last week our between now last week. I'll tell me something I wanted to thank you for but I don't remember what that was when I do. I mention it because they'll be put me up on game out. Did you actually finish watching Stephen University Now I have been holding onto it because I do not want it to be over. Do not want it to. I had to say goodbye to too many things. I fucking Love Bo. Jack and good place in every fucking of everything else in did corona has taken a lot of joy away from my life and I just do not want Steven Universe to be over. So I'm holding. No I'm just GonNa Start the whole thing. I watch did to start from the beginning and just watch the whole last thing all over again. If you're struggling just watching steven universal it will make you feel good probably will make you feel better actress like yet. Believe it okay. That's it we'll see you guys next month.