185 - Time-Traveling Battle Axes


Deer hanging. John is supported by wicks dot com with which you can create your own professional website to tell your story. Exactly the way you want just go to wicks dot com slash Hank. And John to get ten percent off whenever you're ready to go premium. That's w I x dot com slash H. A N K A N D J O H N. Thanks for all the spelling John. You're welcome. Great speller. I don't like to brag. Listener supported w in Weiss e studios. And welcome the dear John was I prefer to John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast with two brothers who will your questions to be as vice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John. I I've heard that you're going to be starting starting your garden soon. Already started it because he's the peas in very early. Yeah. I heard that you also added a bunch of soil. Okay. Because the the plot thickens. I mean, it has a pretty good gardening joke. It wasn't a great setup. I feel like I could have found a better setup. But that's what it was. That's where we were. It was clearly the setup of a man who doesn't garden a lot. How do you think in a plot? John explained to me. Well, yeah. I mean, it's that's the part of the joke. That's not great is that you don't really thick in the plot. But you do I mean, I did put some compost and okay mixed mixed some stuff into the beds, and I guess in that process they were slightly thickened. It news of what I would have tweeted this week. I would have tweeted about Sarah and must trip to Sierra Leone. We've just gotten back from Sierra Leone where we were learning about the healthcare system with partners in health and lots of healthcare workers in Sierra Leone who are doing extraordinary work in extremely difficult circumstances, as you know, Hank because we've been working on this privately for more than a year the healthcare system in Sierra Leone is very weak. And it is not affectively meeting. The needs of of lots of the people there, but there is caused for hope. And yeah. It was a tough trip. It was it was very, you know, emotionally difficult, but, but I'm very grateful for the opportunity, and I feel extremely motivated to continue helping partners in health with with their work. I do too. Thank you for making that trip and telling me all about it. I've heard a bunch already I look forward to hearing more. And I've got a PowerPoint presentation. I on on later this week. I make PowerPoint presentation to Hake, and Catherine and my parents. Basically asking them for a lot of money. Yeah. So I feel like I feel like you're just testing your presentation on me over and over again. I've tried to figure out what will be most effective what what a Thon to. Well, I look forward to giving you money, John? I would buy you. I mean partners in health and by partners in health. I mean healthcare workers in Sierra Leone. Okay. We're not going to spend the entire time talking about my trip to Sierra Leone as much as I would like to I understand that. This is an advice podcast in which two brothers provide extraordinarily dubious advice. Yes. People who write us at Hanke, John Jimoh dot com beginning with this question from Allie who writes, dear John and Hank who owns the bones like after a human dies bones are often leftover often. That's true. Yes. Sometimes always do the bones own themselves can bones own land, like those bones once had meat and bought the land. But can they own themselves after they aren't a person anymore? Does the family on the bones or the state who owns those? The bones. I feel like don't like John if you know heaven forbid, you died someday Sarah would own the bones, right? Yeah. I think so I think the bones are technically the property of the next of kin, although you know, like the thing about being a dead person. I think about this a lot the thing about being a dead person is that you still have a surprising amount of control. Yeah. True. You have. Surprising amount of control over what happens to your stuff and over like like other always kinda if you read Maureen Johnson's beautiful novel, thirteen little blue envelopes, I have. Yes, I just love the idea of being dead person and sending the people who want my money on adventures. Yeah. And that's and that's a right that you have is a dead person. No, one can stop you up to a point. Yeah. I think there are some things that you can't put in your will. Right. Like, you can't say like, I will give a million dollars to my niece. But only if he commits this like incredible art heist. I think there's some rules about what you're, but I'm not positive the long ensure alley is that you need a will. I wanted to put this question. I is to remind my brother. Yeah. Needs. I see I'll get one of those. No problem. Do it right after pod? Con John wait that happened like four months ago. Okay. Well, things one of the things that really impressed me about the community health workers in Sierra Leone. And I am going to get back to your will is that when they would visit with patients in their homes. They would ask extremely specific questions. Right. So it wouldn't be like have you been taking your medication? Like my psychiatrist asks me like over the last twelve weeks. Have you been taking your medication? Well, you know, sometimes it would be like did you take your medication yesterday? And and if you didn't why weren't you able to like, what are the you know, what what are the obstacles between you and taking your medication? So let me just ask you this, Hank. Did you? Call your estate lawyer today. Okay. I appreciate the harassment, and I will get on that. I'm going to strongly disagree with that pronunciation. Sorry. I'd like to lodge a complaint with the board. All right. Well, good, John. Sometimes I pretend to be British. You know, this about me that was very close to British accent. Dangerously close to the return of your fake, British accent school dead people don't own anything as far as I can tell. Well. Yeah. Except like they're pulling the strings of their own estates. Yes. Yes. It's very strange to me that you can like this weird thing, you don't necessarily own your bones in the same way that you own your organs after death. He this was a surprise to me. Surprise to me as well. That like so organ donation you have to sign up for, but like tissue donation, you don't. So sometimes if you don't do an organ donation, you still used to we'll have like ligaments donated to people, I don't know about bones. It's calm. But in any case the estate like your bones are part of what you leave behind, and you need to tell the people that you love what to do with because those bones. Are there is now and they need to know because otherwise you like, I got a bunch of bones. You know, what a Shakespeare's tombstone says, it's one of my favorite Shakespeare poems. It says good friend for Jesus sake. Forbear to dig the dust in close it here, blessed be the man that spares these stones and cursed be he that moves my bones. Lou did he decide to put that there with somebody else that did that, you know, great question that I don't know the answer to. Well. It's probably no one knows the answer. There's a lot of mystery surrounding Shakespeare it was a long time ago turns out. Yeah. Deal. The other thing about Shakespeare that I like he had a will Hank. Clearly, his will left his wife. His second best bed. Oh who got his first fest pet? I dunno. I don't know. That's the only part of the story. I know. I know a lot of trivia Hank context. Yeah. Well, he was buried with his first best bed. He was like, look I wanna be comfy. That's the sich. Yeah. Well, some people think that like the second best bed thing was like sentimental gesture that it was like a kind of sweetness between the two of them and others things that it was just maybe a burn. Yeah. Right. It was definitely saw. It was one of those to either that or he just wanted his bones to be so comfy. And that's why he was so mad about the idea. People moving them, right. Here's another question. John. It's from Jess who asks deer hanging John over. The course of my lifetime. I have heard of countries being in debt. Yeah. You will continue to hear about that. But I've always wondered who are they in debt to are. They in debt to each other is there's some kind of secret iron bake Bank. Like the game of thrones that all the countries money to please. Explain jess. Yeah. All those things, but both of those and also other things. Yeah. The answer is both end like the vast majority or the majority of the United States debt is money that we sensually have low. Loaned to ourselves in some cases. It's parts of the government have borrowed money. From other parts of the government says, it's the government has borrowed money from its citizens that it will it has promised to repay. But then we also savings bond is. Yeah, we also money to other nations like China has a certain percentage of US debt in the form of treasury bills or or saving bonds that like they have as a nation, and then we also own a certain amount of Chinese debt. And this is kind of a way of ensuring that no economy like no Vig global economy is allowed to completely collapse. Yeah. But at some point the debt a country has become so much that people start to worry that they might not pay it back, and then the debt starts to get more expensive. So instead of like, the United States, basic. I don't I don't mean to interrupt you. But if you're going to explain all of monetary policy. It is gonna take a while. So I don't know if this is all necessary for answering Justice question, which is that it's owned by countries. People in banks is this not planet money. This is the truth is I've always wanted to be the host of planet money. Welcome to dear money planet. This is a podcast about death in money. Money plant, it what I really will. I'm not gonna lie. My dream is to be the host of planet money or planet money. Okay. That was my audition, and you interrupted it. That some point country has so much that it stops being able to set its own debt prices. And that is called a debt spiral et is super scary. It happened in Greece. It's very hard to get out of it. Once it starts we want to avoid that. Okay. So we're going to avoid that this has been planet money with John green fix this inning. Why don't you started podcast called money planet? Oh, yeah. Because because I don't want to host an economics podcast. I want the people at planet money to think that I'm cool. They are my favorite people. I want I want to spoke to the spouse of someone who works at planet money, I won't say their name, and they told me that they were married to this host of planet money. And I went bonkers like, I it was like you told me that you are married to Harry styles or something. I was like oh my God. What's he like? What's smell like tic TACs? I've always imagined him smelling like orange chick tax. Is that weird for you? What I get really excited about your spouse. Anyway. There's also a Bank though, there are banks that take on country debt, and there's also specifically a couple of big like the IMF and the World Bank are these like come like institutions that loan money to countries. Yeah. But like with a lot of strings attached. And with certain ideas about how to develop a con Amies. So the answer is there there are banks. There are also countries winning money to other countries. And then they're individuals buying up country debt. Yes. All of that is bad. That is not always bad there. That is a common misconception. Another common misconception is dead is never bad complexity. This has been planet money with John green. This. That's quest aunts. This next question comes from Seoul who asks dear hang John. I'm originally from Argentina. And I happen to visited the US couple of months ago for the first time, I was very surprised and kind of upset by your coins wanted to do other money questions since be so to that right now go my God. It's a special planet money episode. It's finally happening men of them have numbers on them. I was constantly confused because their value is not like to their size either. What the hell? Purpose to keep tourists on our toes isn't a secret plot to make every four feel inadequate or dumb. Or is it just a low key way to let everybody know that? Sometimes you don't make any sense, either stakes a soul. Boy. Oh boy. I hadn't even thought about this. Of course, I've been to other countries where the the the number value of the coin is on the coin that is just not the frigging case. I don't know what to say. We're just really into our presidents heads the weird thing is that like George Washington was opposed to putting like people's faces on money because he worried it would be a form of idolatry or like to crate very long. And yet here we are with like, essentially, nothing, but people's heads on coins. Well, and buildings we put a building on them on the other side. Surely, I remember the first time I saw a coin that had a number on it. And I was like, whoa. What a system it. Also never occurred to me. But the very first time I saw her. I was like ten cent coin that says it's worth ten cents. He doesn't even say that. It's just like ten throw a right in your face. No, we want it to be difficult. So I mean, I don't know if you've noticed this about the United States. But like, yeah, we want it to be hard. The other thing that we do. And this is a fascinating strategy for coinage. Is we spend more money per coin than the coin is worth. So we spend nine cents to make a nickel which is worth five cents. And we spent like two cents to make a penny which is worth one cent. So it's a great system. I'm holding a penny in my hand right now. It does say one cent on the bottom there spelled out. Why it's from nineteen Ninety-three. And it looks like it's been through a lot. Now. I'm suddenly feeling a little bit apprehensive about touching it at all. But I do like I look at this. And I think to myself this remember when they made pennies as if they don't anymore. You've I are now like in my sub-conscious live in a world where all pennies were. Were already made in they're not doing it anymore. Because why would we I've moved on? It's mad. I now live in that beautiful world, but the rest of the world doesn't it's absolute madness. I mean what you should do with that penny. Hank is you should just drop it somewhere anywhere. That is the appropriate response to encountering a penny like the. The cost of putting the penny in your pocket is not worth it. You should just when someone gives you a penny. You should just drop it. I just threw it across the room. I don't even know where now you're gonna have to deal with it later. You you need to drop it in some kind of public space. We need to have large scale petty protests were just like throw pennies on roads and enough. This is ridiculous. Why do we have a coin that does not facilitate the exchange of goods and services? Right. Maybe we could all come together and throw them into a giant pot where we then melted. And then sell the copper and nickel for something useful. Oh my God. That's exactly you know, that's legal because they want to make that. Because of course, people were doing it because why wouldn't you? Yes. So they had to make it illegal. You can't you can't turn your one cent coin that has two cents of metal in it into two cents of metal. This has been planet money with Hank and John green. All right. This next question. We're gonna move on from from finance, which by the way. Hey, can I don't even know anything about? We have we have strong opinions. I was the I was the third best C student in the state of Alabama in economics at the academic decathlon nineteen Ninety-four that is the level of my qualifications impressed. This next question comes from Jasper writes, dear John and Hank I can't stop playing tetris. I also have this problem, by the way after John's video a few months back about how humans have suddenly gotten better at tetris. I started watching the classic tetris world championship. I watched all the content. I could until I realized I could try to start playing myself. I didn't know the game was so addicting. Plus when I'm not playing my head is still playing tetris as I constantly imagine blocks falling down and placing themselves to trauma knows and microcomputer. Jasper this is a real phenomenon Hank. I made an anthroposophic reviewed episode about it. It's called the tetris effect. The position reviewed, by the way, another podcast that I make. I think you'd like it. You should download it. It's a favorable where? Ever. You get your podcasts. People who play tetris get obsessed with tetris. And I am one of them. Because tetris is the only game that has ever been made. That is perfect. Okay. Already explained. There is no way to improve upon it air go. It is perfect. But like, okay. So that's what perfectionist the inability to. Tetris like released like several other tetris games, and they were all like more complicated and more interesting than tetris, but also like less good tetris is so beautiful in its simplicity. And like, the pleasure. I think especially for like somewhat obsessive like loopy minds, the pleasure of seeing the blocks all come together. And then clear as you get that long piece into the well as it is called is just so intense that we seek that again. And again, and again, I was dreaming about tetris last night actually because I played tetris right before I went to bed. I like, I think the classic tetris world championships, as, you know, Hank because it is effecting your YouTube search hugger them, I think it's the best content in the history of YouTube. It's incredible. They're so good at tetris. Yeah. They are. I mean, you're competing against a lot of YouTube though. And those marbles are very good at marveling. It's true. The marvel is definitely the second best thing ever ever released on YouTube. God if I was going to have a podcast, it wouldn't be a planet money odd cast, John it would be a marble antics podcast. Oh that sounds good. Was is the is the point that that person should just become a professional tetris player. Yeah. Jasper leave it all behind and focus on your tetris playing become a semi professional tetris player. And then the other part of your living. You can just like cobbled together because tetris is demeaning of life. This next question comes from this holiday who asks Hanke, John. I only go grocery shopping for myself. And I'm having trouble figuring out what will actually eat before it goes bad. I try to pawn stuff off on POWs, but I live in a boarding house full of old battleaxes that I'm not allowed to have anyone over and I can't just show up at the bar with a sandwich for a friend. Right. Wait a second. Slow you down real quick. Okay. Go when this person says old battle axes is that like a euphemism. I'm not familiar with or do they actually live in a boarding house with old battleaxes and just like sentient axes that will not allow visitors. Well, yeah. And of course, like you can't pawn food off on them because they're battle-axe say don't eat food. No about battleaxes like slang for like a like, a old forceful woman. Oh, you're not aware of this term. No. But I'm very happy to have it in my arsenal. Yeah. I think it's like it's like a negative connotation. Well, I mean look for look for it in my next novel. 'cause I like it a lot okay? Yeah. I'm very interested in the the simple question here. How do you buy the right amount of food for one person? More interested in living in a boardinghouse of battleaxes. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like the phrase battle-axe came from Carrie nation. The woman who wielded hatchet while destroying bars in her mission to bring about prohibitions. It does make me wonder if this holiday is writing from the nineteen twenties that seems like the most likely situation. Yeah. Including the phrase old battle axe. Which again, I have not heard before. But I guess it has a negative connotation, but I was thinking it's kind of awesome like. They had snap peas in the past. They had bred in the past. They had yogurt in the past the only three options that miss holiday was suggesting be items that they have purchased. So miss holiday gives me no reason to suspect that she is from the current including like calling yourself MS holiday is highly suspicious that doesn't seem that seems like a nineteen twenties. Kind of thing. I think this is our version of nNcholas sparks is the notebook. A book I have not read. And I also haven't seen the movie, but I think that's the premise, right? Yeah. No. I know nothing about it. But but I am happy to be getting advice questions from the past. And if yes, if we by chance got more, I wouldn't mind. Oh my God. What a great special episode that would be. It doesn't not any particular past could be the eighties could be the eighteen eighties. Could be like fifteen hundred. I'm ready. I mean, it could be like two hundred and fifty million years ago, and it somebody who's like, listen, this is going to sound crazy. But I am a UK. I'm considering now don't feel like there's this. I now I I should I. Inside of my body. It's there's another cell inside of me. It's producing a lot of extra energy. I'm considering not digesting it and allowing it to stay. I might call it the might oh Kanji the powerhouse of the cell. What do you think I think honestly, our advice in that situation would be like we're of two minds on this one? Organisms. Good for you. But maybe like in the long term. It's going to be complicated. Yeah. Like, you know, right. I think I think it will lead to you having a better you carry life. But I'm concerned about the longer term consequences is actually the same way. I feel about like cars Coca Cola thinks. Yeah. I like that these things exist for me. But probably better if they didn't exist at all. I also I feel like I have to say I know that that might country I happened way before two hundred and fifty million years ago. Oh, my God generally kill over here. Who cares? I don't know. People are going to tweet at me, John. Oh, man. Yeah. Okay. All right. That's good to know though. When did when did it happen giving me a week? On Tuesday Friday. What was the what was the weather about? It was hot. It was about. It was billions like two point seven billion years ago was the first you carry it's the month February the year in February. It was February the moon showed brightly in the sky because it was much much bigger than it is now because it was far closer the answer. Your question is holiday is that you've got a meal plan? Like, that's what people did in the nineteen twenties. I know because I have a lot of my grandmother's meal plans, and I think that's what people should do. Now. Like the way that you don't over by food is you know, approximately what you're gonna eat for the next few days. Right. And and also like if the I assume that you're buying your yogurt directly from a person who makes it. If they can't package it and packages small enough for you because it is the nineteen twenties. And I don't know how it works. You're you're going to you're going to want to just eat a lot of yogurt. I mean, the crazy thing miss holiday is that you are just happened to live at the very beginning of the self service grocery store with packaged goods. Yeah. Highly processed foods available at grocery stores like piggly-wiggly, and like you you were at this critical moment of history, and what you're gonna word is that you're just gonna over by. And then there's going to be a lot of foods spoilage that. And that's going to be a thing for the for one hundred years after that. Okay. We have another question. It's Natalie who writes, dear John and Hank I'm a big fan of fantasy. And I follow a lot of production companies. It seems every company now creates dragon eggs that have scales. As was seen on game of thrones. If dragons were real would their eggs have scales. It seems kinda strange to me like dinosaur. Eggs didn't have scales. Bird eggs, don't have like feathers or beaks, so scientifically speaking, how would this thing work? Obviously, not a mother dragons Natalie. I think that I think that probably they'd be nice and smooth. But like, look, I don't know how dragons work. I don't know what the inside of dragons like I think that they're probably closer to reptile then to a bird in which case like it would be surprising. Even if the eggs were as hard as chicken eggs are like I think they'd probably be pretty gooey and soft Hank. You really blew my mind when you pointed out to me years ago that the reason dragons don't make sense, isn't that they are like huge flying lizards. It's that they have six limbs. Yeah. Nothing were called tetrapods you and me and everything else that walks around or crawls around like all vertebrates on land because we have four pods feet. So there's there are no heck suppod 's except in avatar land where James Cameron is from. And so great there are there are also Weaver nzx in fantasy which are much more realistic. They're basically bats that world had the lineage of of reptiles, then just have their front arms are wing and their back legs are feet, just like birds and bats. Yeah. But there are no women's in the real world and have never been which is interesting all of which ruins today's podcast is brought to you by game of thrones game of thrones literally coming out, very soon and they've done such a good job of infecting all of us that here we are giving them free promo of this podcast is brought to you by the tetris world championships. It's better than game of thrones. I don't know. They're both great. How do you pick? How do you pick between the two greatest achievements in human history today is brought to you by the owner of the bones. The owner of the bones. It might be you. It could be you. We also have a project for awesome message from Yohannes who donated to the project for awesome to get us to read this message to Andrea. Thank you for being in my life. I love singing with you dancing with you cuddling with you and everything else we do together. I love you. I mean, I felt a little weird to read. Andrea, I seem cool. Yeah. But thank you. Thank you very much. You'll haunt and Andrea for being part of the project for awesome and for donating to charities. During John is supported by wicks dot com with wicks you can manage and grow your business online on one platform, you can create a professional website with Bilton SEO, tools, an easy to use scheduling system and more all on your own no matter, what industry wicks has the tools you need to create a sleek digital presence. Just go to wicks dot com slash Hank. And John to get ten percent off when you're ready to go premium. That's w I x dot com slash H. A N K A N D J O H N. I prefer to think of it is Joan and Hank. Let's do by. That's not the code. Another question doesn't comes from anonymous. It's very obvious. Why they don't want their name revealed. It's because they're embarrassed about a lack of log whether knowledge from eleven years ago, Hank I was hoping you could explain to me with the phrase, dude, no edge originated on the fairly new nerd fighter. But a very big science nerd, so when I heard the song the is weird I loved it originally, I figured dude, no edge was just a great lyric in the song. But then I realized it's on the poster behind Hank while he sings where the original dude, no edge DFT anonymous, John and I were on tour. I believe this was the paper town store. I think it was the fault in our stars to. I'm also, not sure okay. And. I was. Just thinking about the universe. Yeah. We were talking about the universe. I don't. I don't really remember how it came up. But we at the universe and Hank revealed to me the fact that the universe. Fill all the way by this. The universe has no edge. Even though it's expanding. And it must be expanding in something. No, that's not. It's not expanding into something. And it's just so like imagine a balloon getting blown up the Bill this metaphor for me. And it makes no sense. Because when I see I imagine a balloon getting blown up. I imagine the balloon expanding into space. Everything is all every bit of the balloon is getting farther away from every bit of the balloon. Right. It's just it. If you if you exclude if you just imagine an infinite plane of rubber and that plane stretches that yet tapping that I cannot imagine an infinite plane of rubber like that. That is an issue ninety say imagine expanding I'm like, yes. Loons have a ton of edges, and they and into space that apparently the universe is not like that the universe. Doesn't have any edges, and it isn't expanding into anything. Although then. Yeah, ha ha ha what is on the other side of its expansion. And so we were having this conversation, and John didn't seem like tremendously receptive to how remarkable and like a mind blowing this is. And so I just said to hell, I was my mind was blown the problem was that. I just didn't believe you. And so I was like how can the universe not have an edge? And also like seemed like you wanted to start talking about something else. And I was like no we have to keep talking about this, dude. No edge. Yeah. There's no edge. And Hank was really passionate about it as he gets about certain things. And then we were in then we re recounted this story while Michael around a filmed us in Michael made a video of that. And that's where was popularized. Yeah. So hak-sung universes weird is one of the favorite, Hank. Green songs in our family, which is really saying something because we listened to a lot of hand green music in our family, my kids love Hank songs, and I will say if you go to your Google home right now, or your Alexa, whatever. And you say, hey, Google play Hank green. It's it's it's just it's just hits top to bottom. This is. So here's the problem that I have John Orrin likes to listen to daddy on the Google home yet. But when I play him my songs, he looks at me. And he says, hey, Google. Hey, Google, Hank? Green. And I'm like come on, man. You got it live. Now, he's like, no, no, no. I don't want that one. And then he like, and then he points it the points, and he winds he points, the Google winds at me, and he goes about it. And I'm like, no, no the recorded versions are much better. Dear Hank, and John I helped plan a regional library conference. And one of my responsibilities is getting the nine hundred plus name badges printed as I was pulling together the list of registrants today as awesome when named Mark had typed his name in as quote skid. Mark in the online, registration go save this man from the embarrassment of having this on his badge of professional conference or just printed. Exactly as he typed it in Hello. My name is Hanna Hanna Joan even pretend like you did not notice this. It's just it's it's you can't take this responsibility on Mark is made his bed, and he must sleep in it. There are three plus abilities here right like possibility. One Mark is nine years old and. And then it's funny. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. It's okay. Possibility to somebody who Mark works with who does like, Mark. In which case you obviously don't want like further the workplace bullying by have it being printed on their badge. Possibility. Three Mark is not nine years old and thought this was like a clever thing to have on his badge at a library conference. That possibility is by far the most disturbing. John. There are two definitions of of skip Mark. There's the one where like you you stop your car very fast. And it leaves a Mark because it was skidding. This is by far this is the original term, of course. Yes. This is no longer what anyone thinks of when they the term skid Mark her. Yes, it is. It is a poop related joke. And that's that's. I mean, obviously, you've got it just it's just it's just Mark. And and you know, what like if you run into Mark at the conference and Mark is like, hey was my back. You should just be like, Mark. I'm gonna stop you right there. You're welcome grabbed him biased bowtie and all. Yeah. I have a bowtie and I wear it. Sometimes that I have a little offended. Okay. I also run I help run conferences Hannah. And one thing that we realized early on is that we have to have a section that says name as you would like it to be displayed on your badge, and that is a helpful in eliminating this moment of like did. He mean for this to be skid. Mark is then I mean, don't aren't employees occasionally save people from themselves. No, if it's like, a creator, and we're like, hey, just so, you know, this is what's going to be on your badge. But if they want on their badge like that's not our job that being said, I don't think anyb- we've ever had a skid Mark level incident. Like a proper badge crisis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. John at a previous podcast Paloma wrote into us to talk about the fact that she very much hated her co-workers ringtone to your remember this question. I do I do. And and we expressed skepticism because they did not include the name of the song and so- Paloma sent in the song. It's called Roma. Eight is by Torah Blanca, and I- Paloma has also I corresponded with her because I listened to the song, and I responded to to Paloma, and I said this is a Bob, and then I responded one minute after that. And I said sorry, I was not properly conciliatory this sounds like it would be devastating in the long term. But in the short term, this is the bop and Paloma responded to me with the translation of the song. And I would like to read you. This is a thirty second. Long ring turn that is apparently a very common ringtone if you have a certain self cell phone company in wherever Paloma is. And is the translation the wonder of that mouth illuminates everything like the sun. One thing leads to another and life is much better. I choose a place to go for dinner a bottle of wine to start. I know that saying is simple. But when the wonder of that mouth of yours illuminates, everything like the sun, I would like to Metamorphoses it make the best impression. I don't stop talking trying to pretend that I'm not dying. If my nerves and now thinking, I will get closer any moment. Now that what is happening is love tell me that you feel the same way as I do. I know I'm not crazy love plays along. So let's play today to discover the spring within. That's that's the song. John. And I mean, look, okay. The Lear are not great. But let me submit that the lyrics to most love songs are dumb as crap. Really songs. There's the of love song, you're like that is not healthy behavior. And then there's the Shauna of love song where you're like man that is really broad an empty in John India. So it is a little disturbing that the song is very clearly not about loving a person so much as just the mouth part of them. The ones that mouth that women eights everything like the sun doesn't looked at a mouth, and man, that's everything. Just as the sun eliminates the earth. I can barely look at it. In the pros for more than a couple of minutes or have some real damage. I need I need by clips classes. Boy, I did listen to the song several times. And I went from being like this is very good to being like my life is ending every time. I hear this song again. But people who made this song are nice people. Right. Are you worried about getting on the bad side of the people who made the song? I don't wanna hurt their feelings. I know what it's like to make something that like become so popular that it becomes a ringtone. And then people resent it and hate it. And it's not a good feeling. And I I'm sympathetic to Torah plonker on this one. All they did was write a song that somebody like, here's the thing. You can't really have any single song as you're only ringtone. Well, here's the problem, John this thing, this song has been converted into a thirty second ringtone that is the default ringtone for many many people. And so everyone here. This song all the time. And never happen. We aren't full ringtones are as bland as possible in America. But having it Bela bup is a problem because like you don't wanna bop to this for eight years while you hear it for like, the thirty second version of this song over and over this Aleutian is obviously to to offer your co-worker like a ninety nine cent ringtone be like I will pay ninety nine cents you can have ringtone. And this is your new ringtone bring. It was a very quick process for me from going from like I like this on to after the sixth. Listen being like, oh, if this was someone's ringtone, I would definitely break their phone, right? But I think that's the case with like almost any song. Like if you played me a song. I love twelve times a day. Yeah. Especially in thirty seconds snippet of it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's the same thirty seconds snippet. Right. So I threw notes what really drive you mad because you're just like oh God here. It is again, then the mouth about this coming. Yeah. Well, I know I mean, you know, mouths, they are just like the sun. Really if you think about it. Fusion hydrogen helium Hake before you get to the newsroom ours. Z wimbledon. I wanna read a response the paper clip thing which will our dad. Our dad wrote us at our personal emails to express strong opinions about the paper clip thing. And we don't usually get responses from our parents about the pod. So I feel obligated to read this. Dad rights kindly? He didn't write dear, John and Hank or your hankins John. Very diplomatic that as your biological link to the paper clip era when you place a paper clip against the top of the stack of paper the short part automatically moves itself behind. It's the mechanical response if you turn the paper over and try to same thing will happen short goes behind goes in front. It is quite difficult to get the short part of the clip on top. If you click paper from the back of the stack it will put the short part on top. But who would do that best wishes dad? So. Many rationalizations for why the yeah. For both ways with people people equally astonished by the other side, just like how could you put the bottom part of the front, and how could you put in the top part of the front with just complete bafflement aid me realize that like we have a problem when it comes to like political discourse in the United States. But also when it comes to everything discourse. Yeah. And so many people wrote into paper cups our garbage. Why wouldn't you use a one of the many superior forms of of clipping technology? Yeah. Oh, God such strong opinions. All right, John, the news from AFC women is something else you've been gone for a couple of weeks. And wow. I mean, suddenly AFC Wimbledon are no longer the worst team in league one. There's so much AFC Wimbledon news to get to. We should really have an AFC Wimbledon only podcast. AFC Wimbledon now have five games remaining in their league one campaign in their fight for survival in their most recent game. It was I have to say a disappointing draw against Akron Stanley. We had a few chances to win the game to be fair. We also you chances to lose the game. It ended up one one. Good good. Good game. Not great. We don't. We don't have a lot of space for ties right now. Yep. But in our previous game, we beat Scunthorpe to one which was very good. That's a very that was very good result for us. And now Wimbledon our twenty first in league one we have to finish twentieth. So we're not quite there. One point our certainly not there we need to win at least two of our last five games and potentially you're gonna win one of them. Because Bradford City is made a garbage city is so bad. Brad. City hasn't won a game. Like, I don't think they remember the last time they wanna game. And that's our last game of the season. And they will definitely or almost definitely be already. Relegated. So they'll have nothing to play for except for pride stupid pride. And what if they win? So I, yeah, I'm very nervous. I'm thinking about like do I fly? No Radford Brad on may fourth. If we haven't secured if it's all still to play for. And I think the answer is probably yes. No. That's very stressful. Just just having it show up on my Google home app is very stressful. If whenever I catch a game when it's in the middle like when it's in progress, Catherine is like what are you doing? And I'm like on just refreshing. You've done to me. Well, so we definitely have to win two of our last five games. We may have to win three or or at least draw a third. It's gonna be tight. It's gonna be tight tight tight tight tight. And I am definitely worried. But look we were dead in the water just two months ago. So what this team has accomplished has been really astonishing and hope is the thing with feathers that purchasing the soul and sings the tune without the words never stops. At all one last thing about AFC Wimbledon. I have to pay tribute to the great Eric Samuelsen AFC Wimbledon's CEO for the last twelve years who announced his retirement this week, Eric became the CEO of AFC. When when I think they were in the seventh tier of English soccer there now. In the third tier the ground has just been broken on the new stadium that will take Wimbledon back to to their home. What he has accomplished as CEO is really astonishing. And amazingly he's done all the vet while being paid one pound a year. I spoke to Eric this morning, and I told him what I read on Twitter once and I really believe it's true that Eric Samuelsen was AFC Wimbledon's best ever signing and without his leadership. Our club would not be where it is. And I'm just very very grateful to him, and I have to say on a personal level. He's been a really great friend and mentor to me. I just love the way that he's gone about his work and his devotion both to a higher cause to his community. But also to his family. So I I wish Eric all the best and congratulations on. I would argue the greatest campaign as a CEO of any football club in history. John Mars is great. It has crushing. It has an atmosphere and has different gases in that atmosphere. And we study those gases and one thing that we've noticed is that like sometimes there seems to be methane. But then we check again, and it's not there, and we're like if they're actually methane or was there like some methane stuck on the Rover may be and then it got like released when we opened something and we detected that. Or are sensors just wrong. Well for the first time we have independent. Confirmation of a methane reading. So the Mars curiosity Rover detected methane on a spot at a time. And then we had an orbiter that detected methane at that same spot at that same time. So this is weird for a couple of reasons one because it's not there all the time. It's there sometimes. Yeah. Methane is not stable enough to stick around Mars atmosphere. Long-term so any amount of methane if it was created, or at least on the surface of Mars would be gone in. The course of a couple of hundred years just by chemical reactions that would happen in the presence of solar power, like solar radiation, and and the chemicals that are in Martha's atmosphere. So it has to be coming from somewhere. It has to be coming from somewhere occasionally, but not all the time and on earth. We know of basically two ways that nothing gets made one is by microorganisms. That. That don't use oxygen so micro-organisms stat like live and do their business, but they don't require oxygen and swamp is where this happens a lot. And that's why you sometimes get swamp gas with a lot of methane and that will actually catch on fire. Even what we, but there are also ways that methane can be created not biologically, but geologically, and those are also are weird and cool and require liquid water. So you basically can't do like do like geologically created method methane as far as we know without liquid water. Now, we do know that there is liquid water on the surface of our underneath Mars. We don't really understand what the sort of state of that water is is it like how like briny is. It is it like mud is it like just like full of full of stuff. And so basically more of a slurry or slush than than. What we would think of as like, you know, a giant lake underground. So we either way this is a really interesting and important data point. And and it also sort of reaffirms the idea that Mars is still geologically active. If it was being created in geologic process, which is of course, the more likely of the two, but it's very interesting. And as we have more time as we have more instruments around and on Mars to study, it we will get better at sort of maybe localizing where the methane is coming from having a better idea of what seasons it is produced in and and what and that might give us a better idea of where it's coming from. So it's weird. It's exciting. There's been a lot of talk about methane on Mars before. And there's also been a lot of back and forth argument. Like, no, no there isn't actually methane. Yes. There is in this independent confirmation is really big deal. So look out for that in the news. If you haven't seen it already and consider yourself informed, fakes everybody for listening to the podcast. Thanks. Thanks for putting with me, this podcast is edited by the brilliant and hardworking. Nncholas Jenkins, our head of community and communications is Victoria on. You can Email us at Hank and John g mail dot com for produced by Roseana house, rose and chaired Gipson, the music that you're listening to right now. And at the beginning of the podcast is by the great gonna Rolla, and as they say in our hometown, don't pick it to be awesome.

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