Ep. 81: Greed, Anger, Heresy (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

This is a head gum podcast welcome back to the home yeah everyone from credit to zip from one little SIP oh figuring people have been asking what is your writing and finally he's in the Hell Hell is bad but you are having fun though right the in the shade the hardest work it would be to bully anyone all right guys a little recaps last week you descended from the lust chased you you were able to puncture the beast from the inside and escape but we're caught in a terrible real hard one found himself in a cave full of riches with his Nemesis Wilhelm bronze earning from a dying Mike in it that meribel spores had created a deadly clone bev senior offered to join forces in the battle against the Oliva Bev stood his ground and said that being said we are not going to start with beverly I think are going to start op I as you see in the distance much like Mira Bell's hideout yes all right I'm just I'm beaten feet towards my precious rodent orb this my kid who gave you his powers and joined in and a hard one you've you've had a good display of faith from a little bit of like fog and mist from the various poisonous spores you see inside this Fungal Cave and you see that the walls and floor covered in my Salim Save is a fungal being looks like a more crude version he's trying to replicate become a fungus human yeah I'm trying to be on the Gal right just like the one is a little too low other is a little too high a whilst kill the creek we must kill the creek protect the creek on every single fucking plane you hear here's nasty caught in this fungal network up against the wall you're gonna hear covered hard one thing the bronze beard kings hammer sixty feet the hammer through the Goddamn skull you see hard-won shore foot it surely is hell if I have I suppose if I can't find the bronze beard Kings Hammer I'll just can you draw your hammer thousands of other people around but they are all in their own little you I'm GonNa need everyone to roll initiative who on seventeen and me okay Organiz this We're going to start with moonshine because she's at the top of the encounter the monsters you're Goddamn here O'Brien trying my best got you pretend to destroy kill the creek sure so I attack with advantage and twenty-nine yes I do extra d-6 of force damage I also do eh wisdom check twenty-three synced to poison as you reach deep within yourself now spores damage you hear a voice in your head go you alright twenty-six another eighteen wow I you hear a bunch of them break off into these little Mushoo monsters mother-mother there's you've ever done yes you much like when you fought meribel this monster has these three okay twenty hits the second one hits and then does nineteen no and then you see this fungal monster opens her mouth and goes spores in twenty that is a pass you don't even you don't even take half ca-car Bitch we are mother just like twitching against the wall that's my child dragon is going to fly forward first thing that's going fifty nine damage good Lord so that's just hey not so fast daddy's let's get this guy are the door of and Daddy's GonNa take cracks that he's GonNa roll save thirteen so it's a fail the real king man what did possible Gordon it doesn't feel good to be hit with it right you just want to hold it and I- beefed it with one you pissed yourself a over to beverly and his father you defy him he just screams out you'd Never Lewis in beverly heard amongst the fire twenty two hit doesn't hit dozen second attack is GonNa hit so the staggering smites is gonNA fourteen plus four eighteen eighteen is going to not too rattled but then you are still going to take his long sword damage house but in this case I think you've earned a spank and listen to yourself if I can determine what sort of energy my they just don't say devil that's worse worse and I'm okay the House with you again shown up not aw I can feel just the truth in his words and it staying so uncast haste I gather holy energy in my hands and I apply I how much you spend on those that kind of money you there's a coin with hard ones face and on the right shoe there's a coin with on my dad sweet school how that is being in a nutshell yeah in the real world I would maybe cinema stern text attack this had happened this turn I think so I guess I'll do an attack so do oh so I can terrible boy pairing and that causes me to get my head twenty I know it is when it and now I'm going to beat you up dad this is how she's I wanna hold that for something I'm going to do a third levels might seventy light you resist equilibriums thrown off for a second but you steal yourself sword as he staggers back I'm sorry I'm sorry about that is backup to Moonshine I'm going it's best chance does they twenty four hit it and I support them for another eighteen I'm a great weapon as you we will get you we are mother swing pseudo pods at screen outcome on dry and get what I got on you based on your first round I don't think you can saving throw as she tries to vomit spores at you nine we are back in the you guys by the way are all in different layers of hell we're ugly dragon he is going to try to take it I was I twenty nine twenty wins you're desperate it's very unappealing it's twenty one to hit that just it's I'm GONNA tie my hair up in a hellish hair bun and awesome door of top notch take it down a more of a door than you one of the Kings in my hammer right yeah cool what do you think your loser so you trust you you killed your fucking daughter did kill I just hired someone I mean I now keep it going twenty eight to hit walking that tight rope thirty six damage and he passed his Sabin great great great grandfather just bronze beard runs forward stupid guy talking silence the mainland going in on him that is back over to bev senior when he goes I guess we'll have to get a bit tricky to be Hugh Ndo in the fiery chapel you see he summons an orb very cool also get advantage on six thirty saving throws there's no chronic damage so you take sixteen fire damage that's already halved shut up to the two crew I'm GonNA learn how to Goof that is your turn okay I guess I'll run into the building okay actually I as being the exact chapel that you you see all of the Moss and the like Flower Beds Down Find Your Dad we go eighteen eighteen he knows what my abilities are so just start walking towards them and I say it's just not the order you want we can still achieve so much it doesn't have to be like this he he steps forward out of the smoke you recognize the tears roll down my face Moonshine I think I'm just think I'm just banging again okay. Ear Bone is action healing word myself fifth level L. anyone mother kills every actually right now you're trying to be here sports in you I'm so sorry yeah I'm trying to go trying to get them to an emotional space it's sort of a battle tactic or you hear her glaring at you right by takes stop laughing fail thirty two damage fucker now don't get to do anything see if he gets his fire breath back and he does but he's going to hold seventeen twenty three for wilhelm hard one as is down he uses one of his claws to grab it that is a four dodge out of the way you do a handspring break your concentration so the Dwarf Daddy's are gone for the moment all right cool apple in the stalag type that has the other Otics fucking eighteen hit the stalactites it does I'm going to maybe I'll call I'm GONNA try to explode it with a bunch of stuff some thorshavn it's so good and crack in the stone and it begins to shift and then except glowing orange instead of blue begins flies down you can make an athletic check to grab it that's exactly what I'm trying to do anat you catch it in the air attacking new two more with the Hammer Ah that hits yes it does it it will do a d six of fire uh on the on the first attack but my second overall and eight seventeen doesn't hit me that is a sixteen frazzled. It should be rejected outright you're not a real tour basically like to down it is rejecting him to call a golden hammer so any time you have to say I'm not being weird having a normal one eight and rush forward at you takes his first tack that is only I am going to need you to make a wisdom saving throw staggering might come on four fifteen okay so that is a fail you have disadvantage yes so you will just won't have advantage okay and then you're gonNa take thirteen damage from the staggering smile all right so we're in this chapel yet I kind of like gesture around remember any pay attention in any of your classes in anything I was the chapter about this yeah I flipped right to it right is there anything I add anymore your dad he retains the parts of his personality that are the all set his soul Yup okay all right I guess I attack does a twenty you just say the F. Word bath no rounded I said the F. Word you're I don't remember any of the good stuff I remember telling you you can't say eighty five that is going ahead and he's going to carry a good he can't Perry again that's reacts energy you dear use the power of the dead against me well Papa Explosion of Holy Energy he doesn't like fungus counts as plant yeah I would I would say so don't ask me this is the episode go big well might be my death okay I'm going magical plant it makes the saving throw with disadvantage and the spell deals maximum damage to it finisher mother come here you my so but really I just suck all of the moisture from it until in China as you dry out the core it's you see that whatever this central being was ceases to have have you Dan's Outta here on a two to PA puts mightily around job rather rather rather I join your fungal network nature over nurture although in this situation it would be both because you are various tiny Mike needs who joined death when it's not good or evil all right it is it like I was talking about you but I'm GonNa do right by your sports they join your Fungal Network mm-hmm hell yes it were chronic you can choose oh arrests as you're kind of the Fungal Queen in the middle of this cave and your fungal not a party I also do I wanna I wanna get like if I can spy on him in any way or if I feel there's you know any L. Emily Oxford here because I was so excited to talk about this week sponsor tabletop miniatures for all your role playing game needs all you do is you go to their website dirk first off Kudos that's very cool you can just download the model file now straight got dozens of fantasy races thousands of parts to choose from you know the Banda boobs love which is a subtle difference that you know law geeks appreciate it's actually so it's a rich and complicated political world amongst Goblin folk and I immediately want to play in that you make your character in heroes plays screen shot at tweeted at me and tell me all about them often new content is added every week and of course tweet me your his battle essentially yeah I see you see where he is he's faraway Dr Hard-won History Strat let's head over to hard one and wilhelm okay hit me with it Amer Verse Hammer Let's go money you call the door for and hard one You see the bronze beard kings hammered glows today do a spell called absorb elements at a fifth you you probably are going to take a little bit of damage that is a twenty and you're about to take thirty one but the hammer glows and absorbs image has you absorb this fire into your hammer awesome doc why would why would you be us there doesn't McKay sides here I'll let you hold it eighty six so go ahead and roll five sixes cool fifteen damage succeed doesn't do it twenty six we'll do it we'll do it his big dragon head and say here if you're worthy it shouldn't be that heavy and just radiant damage going into his head as you press I you press the hammer into his skull until there is nothing left is no more he doesn't exist on any plane or perhaps he's some tortured spirit at the Golden Hammer is still there all right cool I got a little hammer here for a second the Gut can the yanked out yeah yeah I thought you guys just wanted US team or something when more than bestowed upon us the first door of and kings okay yes might as well just start a small collection we'll see or like attracted to each other I guess I'm GonNa Smash them together like two symbols you smash on the handle you may now you get your door of an daddy's back on this is a nice quite a woodblock baby the two middle value then we cut one forward with the staggering might I attack wisdom saving throw okay seventeen that is a fail if damage down right in the heart explosion of narcotic energy staggers in your book one is using Laon hands light and everything you know what it feels like when moonshine heels you you know what it feels like you like when you fell off a horse when you're first learning how to ride this feels more like your father than this monster and I'm sorry for always falling that's your turn all right twenty nine to hit that'll do it views revivify if I were to need it but I think we're GONNA get spot that's five dates He thought he had the kill shot on. You soared in your chest all of today don't pay attention in class all right I'm GonNa talk okay all right cool so blocked that one black and white sparks which is flashing so that's good yeah he is just going to swing down Holy Shit shout out to the two crew goofing straight up that's it all right and then that is your turn beverly so is my bonus action I'm going to go ahead and use you are this glowing beacon of hope you see some of the fires Go ahead and GIMME persuasion check. What was the name of that box that you were talking twenty-nine net cheese yet they give you you see that there are two in here add gives you the help action it's going to give you advantage on your attack Nice let's attack I'll right knee twenty one to hit he's got Perry that one okay all right all right that hits carry Perry oh him and he just walk slowly towards him and I say when she raised me for P. Sake and I want to try and cash prisma saving throw cast banishment to Tariq of white light jerks back like he's in pain at first and then and he goes thanks breath I never have to worry with you and I don't want you to have to worry about me few Beth your father starts to with a whipple take him and you see your father disappears with her I drop my sword two in Djelic figures next you put their you really could use like a little lotion or something like that I'm watching this offense and they look over at like headless face of In this chapel alone with these strange angel creatures a moonshine standing and connection to this layer of Hell to the earth here itself anger while Hardouin is on the fourth level greed and beverly is on the six August I WANNA hold my hands up to the ceiling and Kinda like knock it's like Oh something up there is hard on go ahead and give me a strength check when you see that there are some pretty jacked our law Hey I'm over on I know that I know that drops out And moonshine rises in a to your buckets by accident doubling your net worth bradshaw around you just like coveting all of this gold and everything and digging through it and all don't touch the stuff pockets okay yeah that's honestly after you had okay never mind yeah Oh damn was we're hammer grew up growing a little bit as well well okay now I assure you wanted to stay in this layer of hell I'd love we're getting pretty good at networking it's a nice mice Liam path I make a nice mice Liam like much fun as I am in Hell good I've been watching I've been crying we're going her bowel nor win I start digging furiously okay I grabbed so your resume the flu mm-hmm Moonshine you where beverly is you see burning buildings all around you and a Church of Palomar everyone everyone everyone I know that was fun got put on our series phases stuff smiling approach the Church of floor and I think I wanna like gotten up off the floor at this point and I am over by in later on and and putting them into the flame because they don't need them anymore okay I smashed smithereens testing out my new however how to whittle Popov really quick widows together a very zip code varnish but this will definitely do it's like nostalgic but not fully sad but not happy either my name from a snowstorm go ahead and do a performance check eighteen you guys sound pretty good beverly ends playing a surprisingly good comforting tune hard-won is keeping Um wow that sounds exactly like I hope you don't mind but I checked in on you and I saw what happened and day and I want to be the first voice to tell you did the right thing yeah even if I had to send my dad away but nothing can keep me from continuing talk of I asked them if they want to join me in like a traditional being in play for someone that's like going off to war absolutely beautiful boy go ahead and give me a performance Jecklin advantage are- no longer in this fell land you have adventures and clack clack clack clock suddenly beal the flames grow hotter there's a little shake to the earth a little earthquake and you once again very good victorious in he's repenting even though he doesn't need to and I will see him again yeah I gotta be honest all this talk about Oh why would you fight me yeah the only the only warm up that's going on here is just hellfire you see the uh-huh I cast sleet storm outside and then on okay everyone goofing around on the on the chat as as usual so I too will kill a dad Oh as we speak layer violence a playground yeah they smell great they will also love a Husk musk let it be known that we ended up is owed on I don't think you're going to license like this like one of the more serious episodes and one of the more stupid ending counterbalanced I want to live in great thank you everyone for listening I could check us out on Patriae is to plug watch me emily sketch show S- called hot date it's on pop TV on Hillhurst Avenue number two two two phillies California nine zero zero two seven it is oh yeah Jake Jake's mobs cookies dot com mom takes bumps cookies dot com order you can order them yes l. using Hashtag Nad pod that's ADP od we we it's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout through a group of delegates from the astral council currently floating through the cold reaches of Danielle the dastardly dame they are a bunch of green teens who invited Beverly Kamal to four Jordan. Dj Jeffrey S and cutter. W FIVE DEMON RESTROOM ELAINE AC- mixologist Michael Mukti Andrew M N bound Lors Austin I Jacobs see Elena M Mick pox and earl and Kathleen la uh-huh quiet Daniel face their greatest challenge yet recreating Martha Toga famous sticky buns delay the cray fe and of course Aaron g five nights of Penance currently under Bev seniors it's so weird to see grab ass written one word I'll card Jori then making them promise not to tell the dusk mother who then we got big buck artery yes there's an all out over one of the as and yes the Gumbo is deconstructed they write down our Josh as blitz breed Dmitri and Caleb while all the way to the astral plane then uses a wish belts go back in time and make like yeah there are network and they'll always be network but do they have to spend every holiday Adler they are a group of wizards who play a weekly game of Pickup Basketball Larussa J. Dylan the WANNA BE DM

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