How to Win at Life and Succeed in Dentistry Emotional Intelligence PDP034
Obviously the the NAVONA is have high Q.. And you can use your hands and you can use your brain your. Brain, you can deploy three and not really like the triple threat weapon of of of the truly successful dentist. Welcome to the protrusion dental todd cast the forward thinking podcast for dental professionals. Join US discuss hot topics and dentistry clinical tips continuing education and adding value to your life and career with your host. Jazz Gulag. Throughout my Chris so far I've really tried to stand on the shoulders of giants and I tried to learn from mentors learn from people who've got significantly more experience and people and dentists. Successful quote unquote successful now was actually mean and what are they actually say well, we'll get to what that means but it later but all these dentists when I asked, what makes a great dentist they all say the following things. They say empathy they say communication skills base as soft skills they said the ability to explain to patients. In a way that they can understand it and the ability build fantastic report with your patients and and all these sorts of things. So very much the soft skills. Now, if I was to summarize all these things in two words, it'll be emotional intelligence, and that's what this episode is all about. We're GONNA talk about how to be successful early in density in life because I think why truly believe from reading more more more and listening to people is emotional intelligence, which is actually far more important than your IQ. So I've got someone awesome to talk on this topic with me. Today is Dr Rigid Porter, who so of you ought to come on the podcast back when some episodes. Who you guys wanted to come in the podcast and so many of you who message me on Instagram. Say Wanted, doctorates reporter so we've got doctorates reports on today and I want to take too much of your time. I'm the Patriots under Pearl and we'll go straight to what hopefully will be a really impactful and dare I say Life Changing Episode View Dental a happy. You is the lesson I learned as a dental student and recently speaking someone who's recently qualified has resurfaced as like a lesson that I've sort of almost almost rekindled within a way. So so it's a lesson I learned. I was they're treating a lower pre mola as a student and you know how every? You get it checked by your to my tutor was Dr Abs Mogi who is now a think? He's a restorative specialists by now actually. Stories quite cool. Actually, he did eleven years edgy GDP. I'm hoping I'm getting this right apps eleven, years GDP, and then he applied for his specially specialists, right? Straw training restarted entry and you got the place and while I was doing my in Sheffield, he was then a registrar in restart density but anyway. In his days as to on the restorative dentistry. So floor as like fourth year students, I was treating this heavily curious lower premolar and typically students and young dentists. Mistake that we'd make is that we spend too much in caries removal. It should be a fast thing we should be very precise. For as we should know where we should have good hand piece control and we should be able to remove carries quite quickly now. But as a student definitely at that point, it was like you know you remove a bit and then you reflected you think, oh, should I remove some more Schneider shadow a little bit more here? Should I stop in show my turn, and of course, go about half an hour to choose comes round, right anyway. So have this tooth which is heavily curious and there I am removing carries and every few minutes I show. Dr L. Movie Dr Moody Have I removed them enough carries. Done enough here and really at the end of that session once I place my restoration and it turns out about tooth needed a root canal and needs to be needs to be done by a specialist because it had split inside to some lower promoters they have a split inside the canal. So really it's in the realm of special special especially at that point. So it was referred to a specialist unit, but the feedback that I got was amazing. The feedback that I got from Dr Mughal never forget is. Don't be shy. With a tooth of poor prognosis. So that's don't be shy with two noses as exactly the conversation I was having with with a colleague who listen to podcasts Neil Hi Neil listening, and hope you don't mind me mentioning are mentioned. And Neil will send me a case of an upper central incisors, which was pretty much put. It was a trauma case. The Palatial fragment was loose it completely understandable right and he was telling me like, what should I do sheriff especially? Should I try and do the Endo while we saw Beria we came to a conclusion and I borrowed some knowledge from Dr Baretti implant dentists about how we should handle the situation. We went was to root canal, bury the the tooth because she's twenty S- little bit on the young side for an implant and get five years or so from reservoir bridge. So we talked about doing an immediate reservoir bridge, right but that tooth was a to poor prognosis hopeless prognosis and the lesson I want to pass onto him was exactly what I learned from Dr Abdul Mogi and that is don't be shy for the to Pokeno I mean what can go wrong? The Tooth Caputo already so I told him do the roof canal explain to the patient that the tooth is hopeless and the secondary lesson from that. It's something. I mentioned before many episodes never make the patient's problem your problem, right? Sometimes, we stress more and we take that all burden anxiety on us but ray the problem is very unfortunately due to trauma the patient's problem need to dissociate yourself from it and become someone who's there to help them. So the the main pile here is don't be shy with a to popaginos this your patient if a tooth is very poor hopeless bag noses and just go for it, don't be shy with two of prognosis. So hope enjoy that and really excited to. Present. This episode new about emotional intelligence, how to succeed I've given it quite an ambitious title because really I do believe this is the most important thing in your career and in your life. So that's join Dr Richard Porter to them all about emotional intelligence. Richard Porter. Thank you so much for coming on the dental podcast is absolute honor to have you on. That very view about owner ido dessert. It's. One hundred hundred do in in my journey so far. I. Like I said I don't know how much of the puck you tune into before in terms of looks mom my story and my background. But certainly, you're a huge and you still are a massive inspiration to me in my journey from about third. When I started reading some of your lecture then blogs and I I used to follow your twitter cow and I saw you south aspire and I was so close to actually joining us by. But because at the time in my journey I was doing other things like I was doing identical training post and restarted say why wasn't in the right place for that but certainly, it's absolute. Absolutely amazing. Have you on today was very Very, kind and everyone comes to the learning stage when when it's the right talk to them so So yeah, with a very very. Glad played some school role in the great thing Juden Siren now. And I'm not just saying that it's been great and all. Around, about episode seven or eight, I started to say to listeners who do you want on the podcasts next literally I can you know I have to Straw all my messages and a number of people that want reporter we want. Potter. So I'm is and all these. Extended on my extended family for for pretending to be dentists and putting us. that. That's no word of light honesty. Lots of people wanted you on and I can see why I mean the first time I saw you speak live was you doing a remember this? I think you're just starting up spire the time and you're doing a lecture. About collusion. And I don't know where it was. I feel like it was what food or something like that. It was somewhere in London was one of the section sixty, three type daytime timely things you remember up in north London Yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah. It was a Hertel. Okay, and that was many years ago now and I remember seeing you speak first time there and your charisma was just amazing your energy as a speaker as an educator was. So the topic we're going to speak about day goes very much hand in hand and that's emotional intelligence applied to dentistry. So before we get into that can. Done a little mini intro about how much. Inspiration you've been to me, but just tell the people out there watching listening a little bit about yourself. A well. So I fell into dentistry as like I didn't really know what I wanted to do and you know like a lot of people I was influenced Bama terrence and But you know you're given the choice by parents of whatever you could be in dentistry medicine unit and. Maybe pharmacy or something like that, and so I rebelled as much offense. I found it interesting academically at first, and then I got really despondent through dental. School. I found it. It was almost like a hazing. Initiation, and it was I didn't find it inspiring. Didn't teaches in sparring and I didn't. Have, a sense of purpose. I recognize those due to patients I say that which I say all of this Really do me not by recognize patients. Guys. When you guys at the time you were told you know your boy that worry about of the world you always down. into practice and I had. I had not every time but I felt like A. So I went back in just a white why would anyone ever come? See me for dentistry if I'm not the best person in that town or wherever it was appointed Lord of additional training on I was blessed I genuinely luck played a big role in it. The right people at the right time As it went like knows loads of training. became a consultant restorative dentistry. I was lucky. Got A few specialists lists. And then I wanted to stop Plugging some gaps I sold perhaps the ones I experienced started doing lots of teaching I, spend my time now doing and I find the more we can understand each other's minds the more productive teaching. Amazing. Yeah two things. I WanNa pick on on your on your journey and your story on your background. One is that a read on a blog post at once a very vividly and it just shows how much I look up to you. I was reading about this judo champion or thereabouts that used to treat or karate champion. Lorenzo. Something like that and then he hasn't paid and how bad you felt a spark in your career it was it was it was a massive that he was really Nice Guy and Mrs Genuine Story and this is Jazz Odin? USA? So if you look at the UFC now. Wait regulated and there's lots of safety and when it first started is far less though so so somebody weighs fifty kilos might be finding somebody who's a hundred and twenty kilos and these guys were just getting GonNa do whatever the hell they want to each other. And nobody knew what the best form of martial arts was. Brazilian jujitsu striking seems to win it now. But at the time and this guy was the British champion and I exposed on his lower right six Carey's exposure because he had decay. And he was a lovely gentleman. Thank God and and. I started doing endo on your boy. You'll be able to do endo and I was by by any definition. I hope it against trouble sank always always incompetent I was incompetent and a week. Later he was in the rackliff hospital with big fat face. And he had to allow the tournament. The UFC told him that he qualified as the only. British contestant and that was his big challenges at the top of his game and my lack of competence led to is. Stifling his career region I don't know and and not for me is something I'll never forget to why why would someone come see Nathan Dentistry thoughts what I've got to offer that was I either GonNa get good. Oh, get out it was it was those there was nothing in the middle. So I thought really spot meal. Will I hope you don't mind I mentioned this because no. That story, just reading that story as either a student or at the time just reading that story was really a breath of fresh air. That someone is so kind to share a failure in that way and to from that failure something good came out of it. It was it became a driving force in your career. So for those young dentists out there who weren't familiar with that aspect of your story, that's why I want to mention it because inspired me so much and I'm sure people out there we'll think, wow, you know. One adverse event and how it led to something. Good. Which? I think is a legacy which I hadn't thought about to bring it up but the most we do try to set educational delivery like there's a willing good us main hail thinking where we teach that it's all going well, but you have to assess it. Some to objectively assess it and videos we show clinical procedures. The best ones that people get the most out of is when we cook it all up. So so if you know I showed. Me Putting on Benitez years ago. And the X. Goes everywhere in you know you're struggling with a dime control. You slit teach together and actually. Seeing those mistakes talking through and how you become them is more education out of the data. If you just watch perfect Basiji don't see what the flaws all. This statement quote which no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. So if you learn a procedure a PC, all the way up to bed as soon as you deploy on a patient. There are subsets with nuance and things you haven't thought of, and so seeing those things that other people haven't thought educationally, will probably remain total students. The restaurant took absolutely and the other thing I wanted to pick from your story was you mentioned luck in being a factor now just touch on that. How much do you actually believe because I've got to two belief systems when it comes to luck so Because when you look at like Malcolm Glad Wadsworth on circumstances, and that's always off. But then also there's the harder I work the luckier I get. So tell us about. People who listen to podcasts very much into. Okay where next my career and say the same people who listen read your fantastic blogs that right, very much thinking in that, you know where to take the to get a full on from my career. So you mentioned luck can just tell us what you believe the role of Locke's. Yeah Yeah I can. I mean. It's quite a big subject. We could. We could talk about the. So I broadly speaking from inure science point of view. And emotion intelligence point of view and sort of life. Go Sport you luck probably about a third. Of everything. You. Now you talk about hard work the MOLUCCA have. The howdy work is a choice, a choice as you make or another third. So we, we have not abilities in things like Donald Emotional intelligence, but then you have choices you have lot and you're lucky to be born for example, if you if you. Vote in the UK you're incredibly lucky if you born in the UK with good health. And with Terence who demonstrate that you loved you look at the the longest running and. Scientific study in history of humanity is Harvard happiness study, which is now coming up for Tinari. It's it's just unbelievably. Important study that started. In the states and cross match different groups of guys and for them up the is news watch what happened to them and for them. The one of the biggest rates steps was they believed they were left by the parents. If you were born with parents who demonstrate love, you is unbelievably lucky enough. That's unbelievable. Good News. And so I you know had I had a wonderful childhood. We also know now that you and I sitting here maybe maybe we'll squeezing each other's frayne hit, but you will the sum total the five people who influenced you the most you spend the most time with. And I when I was coming to the latter part of my undergraduate career hat, some people around me two or three people in particular who had anticipated would be so inspirational but they were. These dentists to announce GDP is still friends of mine. But no one's ever heard of them but they they have going on in just you know super smart and. Courageous enough to say rich that some ability here why the hell not correct my my slowest hugged in same back to them and I I was lucky I looked like. They were the that'd be born two months later in a different year or something I wouldn't have come across news. So I think Luxembourg Baltimore I'm grateful Yeah I love these stories and I'm very much subscribed and I agree with you I did a Webinar apple for the deanery. In forget which data a Wessex Tinari and I called it the butterfly effect because I do believe when you were born and to whom you're born with and the small decisions you make early on and how it can have a vast changes in your creek trajectory later on but none more. So and none as big as the whole theme of Emotional Intelligence. Yeah. But. That that's does start before four years old. So so a lot of your social networking as an adult is influenced by years note to fool and parents have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. But, but you're right in emotional intelligence is relatively new area of Science I. Guess We call it science. With a rapidly evolving body of work you know really is huge. It's you will must get thermo 'cause. It's almost impossible to keep up with stuff as it comes out but nevertheless, it's fascinating. We we introduced into all. Syllabus Jessica's. as you already know I believe that is as important as anything else in dentistry and I think dentists frontline line. Brilliant will we can before we just touch him to ask you straight up you know what is intelligence do that you just touched on something that's again, very interesting about how between age four and how a is so important development to have emotional intelligence and we can see evidence of that from an early age I don't know can't quote which it was but from law stopped I, read in this or flavor. Go personality. Age Three and your personality either eighteen twenty one like it's amazing. The correlation that. Does have. Will particularly particularly I mean this will make more sense where we can talk about. But It's particularly of social networks. So they might Meyer interest now and probably will be rest of my career is is the neuroscience like which fits with your brain what and how can we influence our brains and woke me with it and we we know we can't do that. But if you think of a two year old, you not road the terrible twos is terrible twos for a reason to euros behave almost psychotically they might might euro kids would hit them up. Without. Fear of consequence and they just test everything because he's you know they haven't learned they haven't had any but full. Don't because they had that nutrients in love the barriers all and that will often thought that really does translate your teenage years. We really still near plastic that stage. That's sad when you get to adult, could you can Develop you can develop your personality and is really important, and if we're going to mention that other stage that we clear that this isn't a threat, it is not a threat who you are. It's not a threat to your sense of being sent to identity. It is just you upgrading devotion of you that you will. I guess when you're not adult, it becomes the responsibility of you because your parents probably can't help you able maybe they can. But but but. Certainly the the crown on your show, the weighted on your shoulders that. Really well, couldn't help just mentioned that sort of some of the studies had read about that. So if you dive in now, what is emotional intelligence Richard and wise, it's important. So. I I want to go one. Day Embo ut much does on what it is but. This is a scientific way of describing it. And then there is. Probably more nuance and almost dental way of describing. So if you were to look at. What the scientists say it stops with self awareness so UNFEELING HAP- slightly actress incoming onto a pole cost having a chat with someone. Having two people watching me but I experience those emotions that I'm aware of it. Unaware kind of what are like I think about that and then I have self regulation. So let's say you would say something upsets me. I can experience those emotions. That's absolutely fine. But then what I do, those emotions that self-regulation and the third part to it is a social witness. So that means if I upset you, you know have I recognize that amount am I aware of it and then the full pa the final pot is social relationships so. Those are the force of the scientific bits do it. I tend to think of it's. In dental times, perhaps more social terms in that. We now know from there's a great. Research this Eric Aqua new Goldman. He right when Fest Books on this is quite heavy reading but the Boston line is when two people even light right now buddy. To people interact to you and your patient unionise you with a group of ten you teaching whatever when you interact, there is an exchange of energy. And that exchange of energy you could cool one jazz. So you'll teach temp equal and you give them one unit of Jazz. And that too then depending on your emotional intelligence with feel I say I'm one of those delegates like one and a half Richard Quarter. So I vote in with Plateau reporter sitting at Baseline Zero, and now because of the way you taught me because the way you interact with me I'll put one on all. You can be teaching me about potatoes I love you for that energy I have more energy than I have. And if you have high emotion intelligence which you too by the way. The. Finally is he to deploy. That energy into me now if you change that situation, so let's say you want to take my energy. You don't have that agency you'd be you'd have enough utility to doubt as well, and so whenever you have that situation it to people have a high energy exchange rate. So let's say I talked to you when I with one Richard, Porter feels like four justice. You're GonNa love me because we give net positive. For the people listening. Would you look forward to seeing some Ethan on State Jessica can. I can't wait is. Just. GonNa be stuck with entered. I beg each other energy. So when you lay you just like each other new try and reschedule the points when you go through our daily were allowed to be unprofessional. So I and you look at name of that patient and you Omar Gold. Each. About the dentistry it isn't it is normally that you think I have to put so much emotional energy into this patient they give me nothing back. So they leave positives they just suck it all out. Your exchange rate might be awful that you give a hundred and you know they add what you given them one half and they give you nothing back you're existed. So emotional energy is real things. Let physical initial mental energy is a real thing. A week's change over time people we need at having high intelligence gives you power to. A. Tiny bit if you need to put, it feels like a lot to other people and that's what's important to dentists. That's what we traded today they can have. Really difficult patient and you have to give energy 'cause dentist we have to give energy to every single patient. But when we do that, it doesn't cost us too much and daily feeling positive. I never heard of it in terms of these numbers exchange and I can really It's a great analogy is great to explain things. Fantastic. The other a way I like to think of it. Area of emotional intelligence is knowing and maybe maybe I'm wrong maybe the. Cross my wiser and you can tell me, I, think I feel like you are definitely more up on this but it's knowing what to say. When to say to whom to say, how to say it and making show it comes all out a effectively is not a hundred simple definition. Yeah. You're you. You're you're you're lower way down the line there but you're you're Hendrix. Correct justice definitely part of the process. So if you if you can develop enough intelligence that means that. Almost. No matter what comes out you because we do face stability in the dental environment is a crucible. It's a real crucible from ocean intelligence. That means that if you. Have, high. Amherst intelligence when positives negatives come at you, you can contextual early. And authentically. I mean means that. You do to say in the right tone of voice and you know what to say before the patient even said NFL so. Emotional intelligence is a spectrum. And there is a condition for people who have almost absolutely none. and. I will try and pronounce it. It's Alexi. Alex. Thenia. On those people have have almost none. So they are unaware of other people's emotions. and. You know I have colleagues were within this how did you know to say that? and. This isn't trying to be irritating. It might sound irritating is that you'll get where I come from it. If if you have a great deal of social awareness, you could feel other people's emotions like feel the sun on my skin is just And that you can contextualized a response and you know how to respond. I'm so. The. That's one end of the spectrum Roy at the very end of the spectrum is is. We don't know we don't know where it ends because that part of south ballots is never ending but we know the guy that took the furthest and his again if people wanna look gone forgotten Milton Erickson. Who It was bedridden with polio's a teenager. On expected to survive many many years ago and he was essentially cost into unbidden seven years of bedridden study. and. He's finally a big family, a loving mom and dad at seven sisters and they just socially interacted with every magical beautiful facet of their lives in front of him is if he wasn't there an only did was watch unsteady study and watch and study, and he never fully recovered from his polio but when he did recover enough to become a teacher. Always walked without an aid. But when he he is emotional intelligence was like no one no one you can believe and the the the stories about what he was capable of which you can. You can look up there for scientific published aw staggered. eighty-one get because we call it the seven year study in the bed. Yeah, I definitely will look that up absolutely that's great and so why is emotion more important than so emotional intelligence if you were to give it a measure To An individual a bit like Iq I believe they call it. Emotional. Cochin. So how important is? To you and how important is E. Q.. So. I mean Iq? IQ is obviously biking potent and you don't get it to you. Stanfield and type of on studies that we have to do without a reasonable working. And it has been shown against typically one of the biggest localized factors if you come from any disadvantage by Rancho. Huge feathering by definitely want highlight. Goes. Hand in hand with it. So I'm not convince this more important. I think we probably anecdotally. ticky dentists who we really good at talking with patients patients adore them and they get away with doing if I'm allowed to say it if they wish dentistry. Many situations like not obviously the vulne is he have high Q.. And you can use your hands and you can use your brain your cognitive off your brain, and you can deploy three, and that really is like the the triple threat weapon of of of the truly successful dentist with the Condos is I know dentist to Super Super? Bright. Bright. Can think through any compliment analyzed problems absolutely beautifully but just really struggle. Reinstates the place relationships. I if you don't mind expanding just just for a second. Is a great example in that's in the middle of covid. I was looking at one college. Weather knows. And they had a hero of Mine Henry Marsh a Georgia's hospital at me. Georgia's Hospital retired neurosurgeon very famous guy a couple of great books. And he was talking about consent and he said, how can I can send someone to on the new ones of near surgically respecting Aghia blasphemer from a part of the bright he said you you can't you need to have his knowledge. took him perhaps though tip forty years but consent came down to the person sitting opposite him saying, do I trust this guy? Do I trust them trust comes from your emotional intelligence inner particularly dentists. On we now know that you adjudged within the festival thing seconds and actually those first impressions of how you behave. There two things we know patients looking for. Wome competence is just to those in the two thing won't incompetent. Let comes from great. Recession Harvard. And stint that the wound side of it. Certainly, you competence mighty a certificate. So there will. Be Pitches of you'll. You'll stay compass it to her. Social media whatever it is Oh, your instagram, but you'll wolf is your emotional intelligence. So it's At least fifty. percent on and it gives you ability to succeed with people. And by succeeding with people I don't mean. Coalescing them or influencing them into. Anything you want not pulling your own desires, but if you think of. How people interact as a relationship. So you and on a few weeks ago relative strangers and there's no doubt that relationship was upgraded. You know and and pops it will even more and then you get into the point where I were described the Nevada that has a relationship. Now. Ideally, that takes a little while to do and you spend time with. Dentists inner. You've gotta get not trust on board shop. On the patients who already anxious when they walk in and they're already judgy you you so. Getting out across, we know the dentists higher emotional intelligence equals higher-income. Unless dress listening in that's that's overwhelmingly demonstrable. patients don't sue densely like just don't do it even if you muck things up, they don't see dentists like. This. You did to stay feel emotionally betrayed by emotional letdown ball. So. So I I can't get nothing says. Well, then leading people who listening and watching right now they're thinking. Okay. So Moshe intelligence is incredibly important in what we do out. Can We? So for example to improve one's Iq? that. But let's talk about the issue of emotion televisions. Are you is this something that you're born with and that's it or can you actually work to improve it and if so if I'm a dentist listening to right now and I'm listening I think actually you know what? I could probably be a better communicator. Probably. Come across as showing more warmth to my patients. How do I improve my motion intelligence? Yeah I such a great question jobs I love that question and I don't have a simple about children. As much about that as possibly can. So you walk away you born but then we have nature this is nurture. Argument and you become the person you've become and you all then. Set with your personality and that's who you are. and. Your personality may well, let's let's say you have very low emotional intelligence than sitting working in a sign lottery might be perfectly goofy and there's nothing wrong without you know if you're allowed to not interact with people and if you feel comfortable doing that you can. If you required or you'd be silly enough to dentistry. You will almost required for your own well being to enhance your emotion intelligence. To to get it BETTA. First of all, everyone can get better and no matter how good people think you are not improvement on everyone so we're all on. That pathway and we have joint humility with that. The difficulty with it that I've experienced. Which is pretty well documented by other people involved in the area is it is just like physical training. So if you sitting that now set right, I have to go on twenty kilos of lean muscle mass. You're gonNA feel some type. And the Moshe Intelligence. You're gonNA feel pain as well. Differences was not different spices society. You choose to go to the gym and inflict pain on yourself. You choose to do the Reps. With emotion intelligence, you have to invite it as well. They called me torture you unbidden. So this is this is the thing that blows my mind every time I say it. So it's going to play my mind again but. If you can If you. Choose distress yourself. With something emerge intelligence. So let's let's use it. It's awful. Let's say we have someone who says I really like public speaking even to the point that practice meetings unknow getting my message across. And I'm scanning speaking have quite where but the principal when there were, no witnesses will anyone around you less effective. So. To choose to stress yourself if you choose to do it, you have to make that choice and you go into it because he chose distress yourself. It actually codes the new DNA in your brain and it coats new proteins and you grow new sign ups. So, this has again been Krueger reflows, different functional Mri Studies but actually if you choose distress yourself with emotion intelligence trading. You grow new. Dormant but that Aaron. Everyone. Dormant sign up to connections in your bright those circuits grow and they get better and better better butler. So you can and Hans generally inactive your bright you grow new structures in your bright. And you can just deploy because. I stay. If, you don't use it they atrophy. So if people are too scared of. Pain or to unwilling to embrace that the SOFA, you stress than they don't get out of the university. So we can run courses on emotion intelligence doesn't mean someone is inviting stress. and. We have occasionally or when we've done training, this said to people. Who aren't even hold contact take you home I contacted lean in and shake your hand, and we'll have a two minute conversation with no looking away people can't do it and but if they choose to Kiko Kiko Kiko. Literally you watch these structures grow as it's happening sweat pouring on, and then it grows an hour late comes to do the same and they can look me in the say hi rich Howie. And General I love that I. Love Awesome as his Asia. It needs the neoplastic boss I mean your brain is so that'll be another. I really like the way that you like and everything to actually what's happening inside the biology inside the anatomy of the brain once book. Cool. Quiet about interests read quiet. Yeah. Have Y-. introverts have a larger mcdollar and that's why they're so good at sensing everything and I believe it was book. It may maybe another book where it talked about how we all had these synoptic connection obviously but then. If we liken, for example, your public speaking sign APPs to be a narrow country lane versus large motorway. It depends on how much you nourish nourish it. How much you practice you have how much like? How much you open and welcome yourself to it. So what are the? Given a great idea of how one can go about improving their motion. But before one can do that, they actually need to have a act of. Self discovery to know. Someone may not know exactly where they where they might might lie. So I, believe there are some helpful aids out there to maybe. A questionnaire or something more complex than that to find out exactly exactly where you lie in the scale of Moshe intelligence what can we do for that? I could think about recently actually it's been slightly scripted this interview trust but we have total speakers we haven't. Really hit the questions on point so So what we're talking about like an immediate personality assessment of where I am. So we started with the first scientific that that's myself awareness. Who Will we and? Penalty if you look in business, you got to go on role doing disc. The DISC DIFC. Full or the personality assessments or they might do something cool demise breaks. Those Myers. Briggs type assessments they tend to come with a little bit of a label. So, they are an label condensed stick with you and limit your growth. So we don't really use those in a scientific way that dude and popular because he gives you a sense of self identity. So on my mayes breaks, I'm an EMT Jay. But the fluids without the ease. Extra vote. But. That's not a situation. No one hundred percent extrovert. In fact, if you all, you'll probably in prison and if you're one hundred percent introverts so everybody is an amber that you might just Lee way or the other. So the the more scientific test I encourage all delegates do he's the The Big Five, the Big Five Ocean assessment, and that is one of the scientific psychological literature is based on on. So you have five components to it. You're open conscientiousness, extroversion and agreeable nece annual season. There are subsets within those. and. It's very interesting when people do that with us because they will come by and do a scientific tests but then say I agree with spent but I don't agree wrap it and you think Inside you don't get to agree. That meant to. You just don't like that. Yeah. So for example, my ocean school mine, your autism is nine. Hype alone neurotic, which which isn't a bad thing. It's just thing. But it means that am I going to run a business I really need to work with someone who's really high erotic because I'll just turn up. Envoys that they will be much more structure to it, and actually you know it's not a weakness mates just give me you could work out way you all said, we encourage people if you're gonNA stop to do your ocean. Assessment. Defect, station, assessment, on Line on you know appetizing businesses no, it's. Nothing that I haven't financial interested, but the best WANNA use the summit could understand myself. Understand. Myself come on de in American setup you a few dollars and you get full report. On be ready be ready because the stress is coming you know none of us act. A. Little my schools I did on a and. That makes it interesting reading. It's great and I like how you mentioned about your nine percent neuroticism and you mentioned about running a business there which which I wanna just lead onto next question quite nicely actually running a business and you want to team up with someone who maybe has a highest score to reach some sort of balance but dent dentists and dental practices they work with people they work with teams. So one of the things I've learned through attending these. Sales type courses you know that sort of stop and what they say is the most important thing is the person who owns your phone, your phone, the reception team are the gateway for revenue into practice, and so I think the most important thing to do is if you're going to train yourself and you're gonNA improve as part of. Having more successful business is that it will be silly to just focus on your own emotion tolerance. It will be a great thing to introduce the team to this concert and get your receptionist, your practice manager decision makers in your practice to also learn about an improved emotion intelligence because surely that will mean so much more for business for practice is not something that you talk about. Yeah. Absolutely and you're quite right. You're quite right. So we know that. When when someone walks into any sort of business, any sort of you know hotel lobby or dental practice wherever it may be. When they meet you and they meet the first day it released first fifteen seconds a not not studies being taken to the point where they. Take and medics. admitted interacting with patients on video with video and audio, and then they watched by group of lay people judging the medic. And then subtracting time. So they have less chance to observe this interaction and what the day is making a judgment. On whether this dentist Dr He's going to be sued going to be successful light an audience is incredibly perceptive over this. You know they just feed it. That's emotions eligible. We have no idea about guys on Q. is just he's wound competence and then they sound down. On the down and ended up with silent fifty minute videos the audience still always right. So so that moment now. Your receptionist altering the phone, they haven't got body language they haven't built is like content how? So everything been comes the phone, but interestingly if you look at. Lectures delivered through an audio device. If the speaker is standing up and moving around as they do it I when they say hello to the audience, actually put the handout we call seat but they do it the audience rates that performance much much higher. So even though your reception stuff on limited by audio. I'm not saying that he will grow practice. But, but having been skilled up in just presenting. A wool kind. Immediate point of contact is important. We know what patients want, but my patients want to feel wanted they wanted to light and they want to know that a company not going to go through the know it. Until the U. S. and get into the clinical environment. Essentially when they come to your, you'll reception stuff they need. They wanted they wanted to feel like. They need to those two things. So it's wanted like. Those are the big ones. So how can we get the on teams to also because it's one of those things where if your own a practice and then you tell your team We need to be on motion Tony Let's all improve our emotional intelligence then. They'll. They might listen they might not if someone external sometimes comes then there even saying the same message might resonate with more is one of those things. So do we need to be shedding some emotional intelligent consultants to the practice to help improve or something that we can start to introduce practices? Yeah I mean I think the charity can come from anywhere. I didn't mind if it comes to external sources or internal And of structure to do it for people yourself by me you know that I think that's a great thing as well. Listening is learning and it's valid. Wherever comes from. So so I, I, you know I have no issue with WHO does that but definitely Skilling your. Know one of the key things. Through Anecdote tyneside's east that all. Patients. Judge relationship with you and your nurse massively. How you interact with people is something that subconscious mind observes if you think of. Gyms have a conscious subconscious mind. I'm communication like you do now with just giving each other access to online. So we do. You'll get the to you might get your at system. And and your listeners will be doing the same and we're doing is judging each other's minds and. Your mind how it relates with other people that if you have a good friendly, enjoyable positive, mutually positive relationship nurse patient feel that energy and they they like it in judgy positively because of it as well. Same. The reception stuff it's a whole team training I think is is a vital part of it. You know if you have. A delegates in trouble and not in trouble but just hang on finding difficult. We would always say relationship lightness Gotcha and it's really difficult. I don't want to be there in a bitter twist. You know it's very, very hard. That means you walk into the room every single day having to pour positive energy not just India patient staff around you as well. Very, very difficult to extremely draining extremely draining. Yeah. So the last question I had was I know we saw a picked off from where you're talking and some tangents to get where we are one question I saw missed out was. Can you just make emotional intelligence for anyone who hasn't quite got it yet extreme need tangible in the sense that let's say. Anticipated interests and we have unhappy patient someone who complains how might someone demonstrate or someone who has low emotional intelligence behave and what might they feel versus someone who has high Q. Can can you just explain maybe how that scenario maybe handled and why the role of emotion intelligence may actually have a bearing on the outcome or how is actually proceed and emotions? It is a really good question. Again, Johnson won the words quite expensive an explanation. So. So if you were to look like, Dental Protection Society. Say. This is how you handle complaints. If you have low I, you will just naturally look at that and think a four minute I just follow the recipe all after ABC it's a very linear process. If you have high one, you probably haven't had the complaint in the first place but to when it comes in or you feel it, you would have felt it coming on because even coming on so we have difficult patients the festival, you can spot them. If you have low, you can hire you Kinda -ticipant with coming from. because difficult people are often full of explanations, the wide to know that if. The Martini. A lot about those if you ask and you just have the ability to. UNPACK the mind and understand mind, and then empathize with their mind give their mind somewhere to land and make them a wanted. Even if they won't. Make them feel wanted certainly no, and if a happens, then you really do just reduce the risk of a complaint massively so In terms of a tangible example I am. It. Hospital and we have a patient as lock example who somebody who came in and checked in and the computer system tells us that the here and whatever reason it didn't work to this patient arrives and sees another patient arrive going before them in another one going before them in another one game before then and they go to reception desk after an hour. Of waiting very patient they and I've now finished my clinic and I got to go to a meeting and reception south says, we didn't tell up your appointment on time new reception stuff different one now says you didn't turn up your appointment on time. And? Go, and you'll be discharged. So the patient is now really weird angry I get winded. The patient And if we see the patient if you if you are able which even looking you Charles, you'll be naturally just able to do it. You gotta be up to put yourself in that person's shoes but no put shoes in sixty minutes waiting. So three patients put your shoes into how they athenee. And as a walk in the room act appropriately can textually to someone that he's he's feeling anger but has justified anger is probably feeling a little letdown probably be failing by handsome good sense needs to discuss with a consultant. And now be told they can't have it may be feeling betrayed by the system maybe they had a bad day yesterday as well. They might be Phoenix sad and they might be you know I'd if you could do all of that when they come in, you hit them. With you. And your competence and you look in the is out I. found out what happened to you. You know I'm just so sorry that happened to you. We can talk about that but once you've talked about that now or later. Everything I can to make it right. If you help you as much as cameras, he wants to me about. Immediately. The situation has improved. Now. We have delegates. You say, how did you know how to say that? Unless a because you know if you don't know if it's not given to you, you're going to practice. To say it back to me now. We will stay on, say say about to me now we play. and. Kobe caught not gonNA rope play as you all I'm your on. What The rest of you twenty you're watching on angry patient role played with me and they get really uncomfortable and then they do it and then it comes along and you know the. Feedback we get is from people who go through that process is the one that this change micro. You literally in your best on people venditti. program, and then they can handle those complaints better i. It does fantastic. It really really does. I love these a real life examples that we face. You know very similar circumstances day in Dan are also re appreciate that. So those are the main questions I wanted to cover today because obviously we can talk about this for days and days and days. So those are to keep those listening flavor those who may be unfamiliar with the now they know what it is and how they can improve the. fact, that is something that you can work on by a requires you to out your comfort zone. We touched on a few interesting things about your personality and Lark at the beginning which I quite enjoyed and actually one thing I was going to say to now should we have enough time and we've got a couple of minutes is have you heard the probably saying this name wrong in New Zealand Dunedin Dunedin. Dunedin Studies. I don't know. Oh. Okay I'm GonNa, send you something I'm going to send you an email. I'm GonNa, send you very special IMO. Give you some access some some exclusive content, but is a is, is like the study that you mentioned the ability you said it was in London where they follow people up from from birth to. Of Happiness Harvard happened a study vite. Harvard. Okay well from from what I've read and what I've seen. The Dunedin study is the world leader of all those types of, but as soon as a child is born in the hospital in Dunedin then they followed up every so months and they look at every facet of their development every part of what makes them who they are the relationship with their mother. They're the temperature when they're born various different things than they measure them in measurement to measure them, and then they see who turns up in into prison who becomes successful unquote who. Has a thriving relationships and I just I. Just one of my favorite studies and things to learn about is that and I think so of touch on that. So for those every to put some resources for people to Laconto to you, but I'm also opened up to everyone. US finds something and put on about the Harvard study that you set as well. Pledging to you to put up well, let me great quality of life and lifestyle based on personality summits around there's a difference. Linger. and lost points that he wanted to leave us with Richard. Just just in terms of. Getting back to what now is the time to rebuild? This is the best. This is a transitional talk. This is the time to build on this and and one of the things we help people do willing to help anyone do not just find delegates anyone until is is become that version themselves in the future so so to do. We know how to do that about setting goals about joining the process along those goals and how you can structure that into place on. You know that that's something we would encourage anyone to do don't just become a dentist who follows label goes into Texas take on a different role home next they say that routine cycle is many of us a dead end we know dentist struggling with Stress Burnout Zion depression this. This is the way it's future will three you will for the new one of the and a goal in that process in the is the fundamental engine. Will thanks so much which please do semi some links resources. I want to know about ending that you guys are putting on this as well as the ocean. So the everything on I wanNA put on a link so people can find out more about this because it's such an important topic. This. Sounds great uncle. Thank you so much which is. So hope you enjoyed listening as much as I enjoyed chatting to reporter hide you so much I run for voting for this episode is all present I wanted you to have the choice which episode you want to listen to next. So the choices between emotional intelligence, all case acceptance in small designs. The next episode we'll be case acceptance in small design and I'm not going to tell you the guest is about got someone who live she does the most big cases smalls on cases that I know personally I know them. And the allocated cases the volume of small case they do they obviously speak to patients about this entry. So many amazing gems you pick up. So really excited next episode join US IN A couple of weeks time you've forgotten that content now. Here. On audio listen to is actually available by video as well on the Youtube channel or eventually dental tubular if you wanted and Hans So, thanks so much for taking all the way to the end. Re appreciate it catching Mex- upside guns goodbye.